#like the whole thing ends very neutrally with just a sense of betrayal on shadows end and regret on stones | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

cruelfeline · 4 years

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All right. So, this corner of the fandom has been in a bit of an uproar after Stevenson had her stream; and while I’m of the mind that anything said outside of the actual show, without any real canon backing, can be safely ignored, I do want to address one odd statement I’ve heard talked about.

Essentially: the idea that Hordak would have pulled the portal lever at the end of season three.

Now, I will confess that I haven’t actually watched the stream itself; I’m getting this from the ripples of discontent in the Entrapdak and Hordak tags. I also don’t really plan on viewing the stream... it’s like, what, four hours long? Mm. No, thank you.

But! My goal here isn’t to address or debunk or pick apart Stevenson’s words, specifically; my goal is to simply address the question: would Hordak have activated the portal? Because it’s an interesting question, no matter what was said on-stream! And because I’ve had a few people express interest in hearing a take. So: ask, and ye shall receive!

Now, we’re going to look at this in two different circumstances: Hordak pulling the lever while still believing Entrapta to have betrayed him, and him pulling the lever in an AU situation, where Entrapta returned to him and warned him of the danger. Ready? Onward!

We’ll tackle the “betrayal” scenario first. Would Hordak have pulled the lever in the situation as portrayed in canon, believing that Entrapta had betrayed and abandoned him? Assuming, of course, that Catra hadn’t pulled it first.

Mm... I think he probably would. But, in my opinion, not necessarily in that moment.

In this scenario, Hordak doesn’t have any reason not to pull the lever: no one has told him that it is dangerous. No one has warned him that it is going to unravel reality and kill them all unless a very specific sort of heroic sacrifice is made. He has no idea that disaster awaits, and furthermore, with Entrapta a “traitor,” he has no reason to doubt returning to Prime. He has every reason to pull the lever, but as we watch the scene play out, it is clear that he isn’t particularly keen to do so right that second.

Catra tries to push him to do it, then and there. He reaches for the lever, but as the princesses rush in, he hesitates, retreats a bit, tries to fight. He’s not nearly as focused on the lever as Catra is.

I think that the reason for this is twofold. First, Hordak is not spite-fueled enough to pull the lever right that second the way Catra is. He wants to open the portal, of course, but it doesn’t have to be right then and there so that Adora can bear witness and be emotionally defeated. He wants to open it, but he also recognizes that his sanctum is under attack. I have the sense that he perhaps thinks it best to take care of the intruders and let everything settle back down before doing something as monumental as opening a portal and potentially entering into communications with Horde Prime. To put it simply: I think he would rather open the portal during more controlled circumstances.

Second, princess attack aside: I just don’t think that Hordak is in the best mindset to open the portal in this moment. He’s... he’s in actual emotional shock, I think. Oh, he puts on an angry front, of course, as he always does when he is distressed or upset in some way, but there’s no missing his look of dejection when Catra informs him of Entrapta’s apparent betrayal.

This is the woman he has worked with for the better part of a year. The woman he grew close to and fond of and trusted with not only scientific work, but with himself. And now he’s being told that she has essentially been using him this whole time, that she’s lied to and deceived him, and that she is responsible for this terrible attack in the place he’d always assumed was safest.

He’s hurt and stunned to the point of Catra having to pull him away from an imminent explosion. I doubt that this is the emotional state he wishes to have when opening a portal and potentially speaking with his Brother.

So, while I think that, in this scenario, Hordak would choose to open the portal, I don’t think he’d want to do it at this point in time. Contacting Prime just isn’t his main focus in this scene. His main focus is defending himself against the princesses and dealing with this devastating emotional blow.

Now, might he possibly open the portal during the battle, under duress, perhaps feeling it is a now-or-never moment? Yes, potentially. But I don’t think he’d be too happy about it. I think it would be a sort of last resort, if he really felt he had no other choice. Again, while I think that he’d ultimately open the portal in an “Entrapta betrayal” scenario, he would much prefer to do it in a calm, controlled setting with his enemies neutralized and his emotional wounds soothed.

So. With that scenario out of the way, let’s move on to the arguably more interesting one: would Hordak have opened the portal had Entrapta returned and informed him of the danger?

Well, friends and neighbors, I am not an authority on this character. I am not a writer. I have no special knowledge or insight. I only have my feelings and my opinion.

That opinion, however? That opinion is: no. Absolutely not.

The reasons for this are both emotional and logical.

Emotionally speaking, at this point in the story, Hordak already loves Entrapta. He allows her into his sanctum, allows her to come and go as she pleases, to work closely with him, to work on him. He risks his own life to save her from a failed portal test. He opens up to her about fears and vulnerabilities that are clearly difficult for him to talk about. He trusts her to the point that he allows her to make new armor for him, an action that, should this trust be misplaced, could lead to severe injury and death. He hears her “imperfection is beautiful” speech and is moved by it.

Furthermore, he clearly exhibits doubt regarding going through with the portal solely because it would mean leaving her. This is strongly suggested in season three, when Entrapta and Hordak both grow visibly uncomfortable at the thought of Hordak leaving to rejoin the galactic Horde. It is essentially confirmed in season four, when Prime’s hand hovers over the LUVD crystal’s empty socket while he observes that there had been a time when Hordak wished he would not come for him.

Hordak has deep emotional attachments to Entrapta by the end of season three. He is at the same level of attachment at this point as he is at the end of season five, when his love for her helps him break free of and kill Prime. Remember: after Entrapta is sent to Beast Island, they do not see one another again until season five. Their relationship development essentially stalls... but it stalls at a high point because they are already a bonded pair, a couple, at season three’s end. With this level of attachment and affection, it is hard to rationalize Hordak disregarding Entrapta’s sincere advice, let alone pulling a portal lever that could result in both her death and his. It just doesn’t quite follow, does it?

Even if he has some sort of doubt about the danger... why risk it? Why risk the life of the person he loves? He doesn’t do so when facing Prime in season five, when the stakes are so much higher, the need to obey so much greater... but he’d do it over the portal? Rather than just postponing the project (as both he and Entrapta appeared to be considering anyway)?

Hm.

To this emotional reasoning, one can add plain logic: Hordak respects Entrapta’s intelligence. He takes her advice regarding sparing Catra. He accepts her help while working on his portal device. He values her opinion and her skills. Before learning of her “betrayal,” he clearly revels in the fact that her hard work has brought their plans to fruition. He consistently acknowledges her abilities and her worth, emotional attachment or not. Even when he barely knows her, he notes that her “tinkering” increases the power of everything she touches. He never expresses any doubt in her talents.

To this sense of respect, one can add Hordak’s willingness to listen to others, even his subordinates. Hordak is shown, time and again, to be very open to accepting counsel: from Shadow Weaver, from Catra, and certainly from Entrapta. Even early on, in season one, when Entrapta is simply an acquaintance, he accepts her claim that the defeat at Bright Moon isn’t a failure, that her experiment was successful. Even then, he is willing to listen to her, to give her leeway in her work. Now, knowing the extent of her brilliance, he would ignore her, reject her? Why?

Why would he? What reason could he have to doubt her, when she is nearly always right and has demonstrated no ulterior motives? He, on his end, has never been bull-headed or reckless about things, never been one to ignore reasonable advice... so why start now? Especially since it is doubtful that Entrapta would ever recommend abandoning portal technology altogether; I would expect that her advice would be to simply postpone and reassess, to “keep working on it until it’s perfect.” Which... well, that seemed an amenable enough option for the both of them, before Catra’s interruption.

So.

I have to admit that I just don’t see it. I don’t see how, between his demonstrable love for her and his valuing and respecting her ability, Hordak would have disregarded Entrapta should she have managed to make it back to him to warn him of the portal’s dangers. Especially when listening to her wouldn’t necessarily mean abandoning the portal project; simply postponing it doesn’t seem like an unreasonable decision in the face of such severe risk.

I mean, I suppose one could argue that he just wouldn’t believe her, that Catra would somehow lie and make him doubt her... but I don’t see how he would believe Catra (a known liar) over Entrapta (honest to a fault, also his wife) if the two were side by side. Hordak is insecure. He is not stupid.

And after all, isn’t that the whole reason that Catra shocked Entrapta? Because she knew that Hordak would believe her and stop the portal? If that wasn’t the case, if Hordak would have gone ahead with it anyway... well, then that makes Catra’s actions even worse, doesn’t it? Takes all the logic out of them. Makes her subduing Entrapta and threatening Scorpia all the more senseless and cruel, if Hordak wouldn’t have believed Entrapta anyway. Kind of messes with her whole arc, doesn’t it? Makes her even more morally bankrupt. Hm.

So while I do think that Hordak would have eventually pulled the portal lever in Entrapta’s absence (though he’d prefer to do it in a more controlled setting), I just can’t see how or why he would have pulled it if Entrapta had actually reached him with her warning. I mean, I’m not one of the writers, obviously; I have no unique knowledge or insight into these characters, but from what I’ve seen in terms of canonical behavior and relationships? It just makes it hard for me to rationalize and believe that Hordak would disregard Entrapta in favor of such a reckless act.

It just doesn’t seem like him.

And again: I could be misinterpreting his character. That’s always possible. But if that’s the case, then I would need a significant explanation to make such an act make sense to me, rather than seeming like a bit of nonsensical character derailment. Because as things are right now, I just don’t see him doing it. For all of the reasons listed above.

And that, friends and neighbors, is the "would Hordak have pulled the lever" take. Hopefully some of y'all find it amusing!

#hordak #entrapta #entrapdak

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simpmeon · 3 years

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Red: Sunlight

Pairing: Any Demon Brother x Gender Neutral MC, Diavolo x Gender Neutral MC

Genre: Angst/ Smut

Word Count: 4k

Rating: R

Warnings: Cursing// // Blood // Violence

A/N: SO SORRY ABOUT THE LONG AWAITED SECOND TO LAST CHAPTER OF THIS SERIES! I APPRECIATE ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT!!!! I was having a lot of mental health issues and between working two jobs and falling out of Obey Me for a hot minute, I just never found the time or motivation to continue the story. BUT!!!! I FINALLY DID!!! (I kinda speeded through writing it so it may not be the best in actual writing but plot? A+) ENJOY!!!!

You loved him. Since the minute your feet hit the smooth stones of the RAD Student Council Room, you were lovestruck. He was the ray of sun that shone brightly against the never-ending night of Devildom.

Maybe dying was the best thing to ever happen to you. Because without the darkness, you would have never found your sunlight.

The Fall // Rebirth // Betrayal // Companions // Revenge // Sunlight

Dying is something that should not be familiar. You should not be familiar with the sensation of your soul slipping through the living world’s veil and the now cold darkness of death. Can you die twice? Where will you even go? You felt like you were swimming in syrup, darkness covering your senses. You could see your wings lifted high above either side of your head, your arms swaying lazily through the darkness. You could hear your name being said over and over, but you could never make out who or why it was being said. Your body was cold. Everything waes cold. Through your stupor you can see the familiar white glow of life casting a soft shine on your face. You can see the light start to fade slowly into the darkness of the void around you, almost as slowly as you descended further and further into the substance that enveloped you. You closed your eyes, trying to except the fact that this is the best option for everyone. Maybe your death should be a permanent fixture.

After all you disgraced the great prince, and will probably disgrace the great king. You’re a monster. Nothing more and nothing less.

Monster...

The word felt like a whisper. You do not even know if your mind said it or not.

N...not.....

You could see light hitting your eyelids, turning your vision red. Sweet death has you wrapped around their hand once more.

Not a monster....

The voice was clearer than before, as if the person who was speaking to you was closer to you. You slowly opened your eyes, and saw the bright white light illuminating your feathers. You could barely make out the shape of a face in the light, but there was one there.

Y/N please....you’re not a monster....you were never a monster.

You suddenly got s shot of adrenaline as the face became clearer and you could see his face. Diavolo’s face, laced with concern, tears falling down his cheeks. You knew he was never an angel, but surrounded by the halo of light, he looked like one. He was in his demon form, the horns twisting in the shadow of the light. You could feel the warmth of his hands on your cold body, a hand cradling your head, another wrapped around your lower back between your lower wings.

You struggled against the sticky substance that kept you bound to your descent, trying to force an arm free to touch him. You struggled so much and so hard you broke a sweat and tears stung your cheek. You felt an arm break through the substance, as if you were breaking through the top layer of water in an ocean. The air was cold around your arm as you continued to drive yourself through the liquid, chasing the light and the man who made you feel whole again. Perhaps you were another Icarus foolishly chasing after the sunlight, refusing to accept your death shall you actually touch the light. Your head breached from the liquid, your wings following. They were twisted and mangled, but they knew where to carry you. You clumsily spread them and twisted them against the strong wind of the void, tears streaming as your clawed your way through the air streams, nothing but the warmth of Diavolo keeping you strong.

No you can’t die. Not yet. You had a beautiful prince to marry, a kick ass demon form...a chosen family who loves you more than anything in this world. The light was becoming blinding to you now as you went deeper and deeper into the warmth. A smile spread across your face as his face got closer and closer to your arms.

You could feel your wings stretch out as you picked up speed to hurtle yourself into Diavolo. He was sunlight in the darkness of the ocean. His love for you is like sunlight when all hope is lost. Your wings gave a triumphant flick, as if they shed an old skin and are new. The void around you disappeared as your vision was covered in light all around you. You felt warm again. You felt alive again. You closed your eyes as you flew at top speed towards the man you will have a forever with.

Y/N .....please come back to me...

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There was sharp intake of breath as you shot awake, the crisp Devildom air burning your lungs and esophagus. Your arms acted without your command and wrapped themselves around Diavolo, your sobs drowning out anything he could say. All he did really was gingerly wrap his arms back around you, his gentle fingers toying with the feathers of your wings.

“Y/N....” He whispered into your hair as the sobs started dying down. “Please tell me this is not some cruel joke....”

“Diavolo.....it’s me.” You pulled back from his arms to get a good look at his face and the state he was in was heartbreaking. His auburn hair was tossed about, scratchy hairs have sprouted on his chin, and the dark circles under his eyes highlighted his amber eyes, making them almost glow against the darkness. He looked so withered down and exhausted. He breathed a sigh of relief, some of his own tears falling as he brought you into his arms again. His skin was warm to the touch, and after the bitter cold you were just suffering in, to have him wrapped around you like this was comforting. The silence between you two was comforting and suffocating. So much needed to be said, but both of you were too tired to say anything, more interested in tracing patterns in between each other’s shoulder blades.

“How long has it been....” You finally asked, your cheek against his chest. He sighed again and kissed the top of your head, playing with your hair.

“Almost a month. You know it would have been a month tomorrow on the dot but now I’m left to suffer at the thought of you being in a coma for 30 days, you couldn’t have waited until tomorrow to make it a nice even number?” He jested, but the joke had a somewhat hollow tone to it.

“A month?” You whispered. You could not believe that almost a month has passed since you were last wrapped up in his arms. That’s when you took to notice the scenery around you and you felt a wave of shock rush through you as you saw the familiar tree and the canopy bed. You looked over at your desk that has remained untouched since you left Devildom as a human, only to return as a demon. You were in the House of Lamentation, but the walls seemed too quiet for your liking.

“Where is everyone?” You asked Diavolo, trying to lift yourself from the mountain of covers, a panic swelling in your chest before Diavolo stopped you with a soft, yet curt push back down into the bed.

“They’re at RAD right now, no need to worry.” Diavolo responded, kissing your cheek. Your cheek felt warm from where his lips connected to your skin. Comforting in your state of shock. “They’ll be back soon enough, and I’m sure each one of them will do their checks on you.”

“Checks?” You asked, looking at his tired eyes.

“Yes my love, one of them comes in for about fifteen minutes at the top of the hour. Just to check your vitals or if it’s Lucifer, he usually takes about forty five minutes debriefing me on any new news in Devildom while also checking on you.” He explained, smoothing the hair out of your face. His fingers were feather light against your skin.

“And where were you during all this?” You asked curiously, already knowing the answer. How can you not, with the state he was in. He let out a small chuckle before placing his lips to yours softly.

“Praying for you to wake up. Imagine that. The future King of Hell...praying. I swear Lucifer almost wet himself when he walked in on me doing so. Thought I was going to burst in flames.” He chuckled, your noses rubbing together gingerly. “The damage done to your body was so severe I was surprised you even managed to breathe.”

You stared at him, puzzled. You felt okay now, certainly not the greatest, but you have been through much worse in terms of pain.

“What do you mean-” You asked, trying to sit up again, but Diavolo pushing you down again.

“Well after you broke a certain brother’s arm into over a thousand pieces, you just started clawing at yourself and then shot straight into the air. Of course there’s a glass ceiling in the royal ballroom so there was quite a bit of damage from the glass, and with the cold air I’m pretty sure that did not help matters. Of course I immediately followed you, the brothers could take care of the party with Barbatos and Simeon. You’re flight pattern was super erratic and I could barely keep up with you. You started yanking out your feathers by the fistful and that’s when you suddenly dropped. You were far higher and farther away than I was, so I pushed myself to get to you in time, but unfortunately you already made impact with the ground. I still don’t understand how you survived the fall, the crater that you caused was at least sixty feet in length and twenty feet deep. With my heightened senses I could hear that you were very uh.....broken to say the least." Diavolo explained, slowly climbing in bed with you gingerly. All his movements seemed to be calculated as if he were afraid that one slight dink to your body will crumble you again. He hasn't been this careful since you were a human.

"How broken?" You asked, now understanding your overall throbbing pain. Even though you heal exceptionally faster as a demon, the damage done must've been severe for you to take a month to heal.

"Um....your back took most of the damage so aside from your wings being rendered virtually useless, you also completely shattered most of your spinal column. Your ribs were also cracked in various places as well. Same with your legs and arms. Also there was damage to your skull. So let's just say that the answer to that is extremely broken. I've never seen a demon take so much impact before and survive..." He said, facing you under the covers. He sweetly kissed your lips, the exhaustion finally catching up to him with every sleepy blink he took. "You really are one in a million."

He slowly wrapped his arms around your body, being super careful of everything, bringing you closer to his chest. Words can't describe how much you missed him. His heartbeat quickly synced to yours and within seconds he was fast asleep. You slowly drew patterns on his back and hummed a tune, kissing his forehead every now and then to remind him that you were still there.

The only thing that broke the tranquility of it all was when you heard a soft knock at the door. Diavolo started to stir slightly, but you hushed him to sleep.

"Come in." You responded. At the sound of your voice the door damn near fell of its hinges as your ex lover entered the room. You hissed at the man and motioned towards Diavolo, who was still wrapped up in your arms. The brother gave you an apologetic look and softly closed the door behind him, leaving nothing but the three of you in a suffocating silence. Diavolo mentioned that some brothers take longer than others, but that they rotate every hour to make sure that you're okay. He coughed to try to break apart the silence in the room but you genuinely had no idea what to say. Luckily, you didn't have to say anything as he slowly made his way over to your nightstand to lay the ring on the string next to your desk.

"Oh?" You asked, suspicions rising with the action. He glanced at you for a moment and swallowed hard.

"I knew you were here when I found this in the hallway. You always wore it around your neck because you were worried that you would lose the ring somewhere...." He explained, shuffling from one foot to the other. Despite the obvious tension in the air, he managed a soft smile. "I remember making fun of you for it-"

"Save the nostalgia." You growled, making him recoil for a second. He blinked in surprise at your words, but deep down your hatred with him was deserved.

"I'm sorry..." He whispered, turning his back to you. You know better than anyone that tears were forming in his eyes and thats why he turned around. "I'm the reason you're down here."

"Yep." You replied, not even regarding his emotions. He flinched at your words, but you did not care. Why should you? Clearly he had no regard for yours.

"Im sorry Y/N I just got lonely-"

"Do you think I wasn't? I had everyone lining down the damn block to get in my pants in the human world and I still remained loyal to you and only you. I didn't slip up once. I put in the effort. I put in the time to try to make this work between us. But you decided to not only completely ignore me but also cheat on me with a new bitch every year?!-"

"Its not my fault you didn't want to marry me."

Now you were pissed. Had Diavolo not been sleeping peacefully in your arms you would have slapped the ever living hell out of the man before you. He realized he struck a nerve when your aura started taking shape. The air around the room became significantly hotter and if looks could kill, this man would die a million times over.

"I- I'm sor-"

"You always fucking say I'm sorry, but I'm starting to doubt you even mean it. You know why I didn't want to marry you? Because I wanted to think things over. Make sure you were who I truly wanted and desired. I'm now glad, elated even that I didn't have to become your partner." You spat the last sentence out with so much acid you could feel the hole they made in his heart. He was livid now.

"What the fuck did you have to think over? You would have been happy here. We all could have been a big happy family, so tell me Y/N what did you have to think over? You know its really funny to me how you preached about unfaithfulness when you yourself were in love with another when dating me."

"I loved you."

"No you didnt!" He yelled, throwing your books off the shelves, leaving claw marks on the stone, tears flowing freely now. "You never did! It was always Diavolo that you were madly in love with since the beginning!"

"You don't know that!" You yelled back, standing up from the bed, demon form out. It hurt. Your own form seemed to be rejecting your body, but you will not back down. He let out a low laugh, shoving you back down onto the bed with force. You hissed in pain with just his hand making contact with your chest.

"Diavolo......" You whispered hoping to stir him slightly. The brother was sauntering over to you, clearly enraged now.

"Diavolo-" You said louder, shaking him slightly.

"Everyone did. You really played me like a fool , I admire your acting skills for that. You played everyone. You even played yourself as a lovestruck idiot for me, but we all really know who all the kisses, all the sweet nothings, all the breathy moans into the night were really for." He hissed, his demon form shuddering into view. He placed a claw into your arm and dug deep, making you yelp. Blood started trickling down your arm at the contact. "Now say his name."

"DIAVOLO!" You screamed out, and in a flash the brothers body was hurtled through the walls of the House of Lamentation. Diavolo stood in front of your body, arms out protectively. The brother stumbled to his feet , anger rising within him.

"I don't want to hurt you. You know that more than anyone. I would sooner forfeit all my abilities than harm you or your brothers. However...lay a finger on them again and I will not hesitate to hurt you." He stated, eerily calm. The brother growled in defiance, but refrained from charging the room again. His other brothers held his arms back, but there was an energy that radiated through the two rooms. It was as if an invisible line had been drawn in the sand, and you were trapped on one end.

Did you love Diavolo since you met him? Yes.

Did you also fall for the brother and his family? Yes.

You did the only possible thing you could think of at that moment which was stand up, shifting out of your demon form and resorting back to the broken and bruised form that you had before. You put Diavolo's arm down and before he could sputter out a protest, you gave him a look that could silence God himself. You slowly inched your way around the rubble, pulling your blanket tighter to your body with each step.

You felt like a toddler walking around for the first time. One of the brothers sensed your general unsteadiness after not walking for a month and gently guided you to the brother who was being held back. He merely glared at you, but his demon form also subsided. Even though four years have passed since you had an actually good look of his face, and weren’t trying to break it, the two of you can still almost read each others thoughts. Communicating with minute changes in expression always made the brothers not notice what you were conversing, and even now they're just as clueless. Even more so now that he puts his hand behind your back to steady you as you two made yourself over to his bedroom.

You shut the door behind you, the last time you did so was because you two were about to pleasure each other until one of the brothers would barge in and threaten to whip him for a thousand years, even though you're the one who initiated it most of the time. You slowly let go of the door handle, swallowing the pride you had and facing him. He spread out on his bed, his eyes never leaving you. The tension in the air is palpable at this point. You both continued to have your silent argument, until you slammed your fist against the door, causing the door to splinter underneath you. He flinched at the sound.

"For once in your goddamn life can you admit that you were wrong?!” You whispered sternly. You wanted to scream it out, but you also didn’t want to attract Diavolo and the rest of his family. “I vowed on that day to love you until the end of time did I not?”

He scoffed in response, crossing his arms. You walked over to him, squaring up to match his height as best as you could.

“Did. I. Not?” You emphasized each word, never breaking eye contact. He let out a growl, but one look from you silenced it.

“I might recall you saying that.” He admitted, although forcefully.

“I loved you. I really did. I was committed to you and only you.” You said, grabbing his hands in yours. They felt the same as they did four years ago. “So why? Why did you not do the same?”

He shoved his hands out of yours, crossing his arms again and crashing on the bed beneath him, but he wasn’t doing so out of annoyance this time. He was trying to keep himself from crumpling.

“Because....I was trying to fill a void. I fell in love with a human of all creatures and I loved every second of it. But....around here. It’s more acceptable to fuck multiple humans than to settle down with one. At least....that’s what I told myself. I thought by not talking to you, you would get mad at me. I hoped that every call you made would be the last one. I screwed around with the other exchange students, but....Alex is different.” He explained. You quirked an eyebrow at him. He sighed and ran his hand through his locks before continuing. “The redheaded exchange student. They’re different. They feel different than the others.....”

“Good different?” You asked, taking a seat next to him, relaxing now that he’s talking to you again. You saw a fond smile on his lips, but the smile didn’t reach his eyes.

“Yes. They’re the closest thing to filling that void. That’s why I completely ignored you....I thought you would just forget about me. So you didn’t have to be hurt by my actions. I wanted you to have a better life....one where you weren’t trapped in a relationship with me.” He admitted softly, wrapping his arms tighter against his body. You felt him shudder next to you, followed by a sniff. You looked over and saw that he was crying. “Guess I fucked that one up too.”

“Hey.” You said, making him look at you with his teary eyes. You didn’t even hesitate, you just slowly wrapped your arms around him and held him there. He tensed up at your touch at first, but slowly sand back into it. You slowly rubbed circles into his back. You weren’t going to forgive him so easily, but right now he just needs the comforting touch. “What you did was shitty as fuck. Seriously. But....I’m glad you found someone.”

He simply nodded, the two of you attached to each other. Moments like this would usually be so calming to both of you, but now the feeling was foreign. Not exactly bad, but not quite the same.

“I guess I’m glad you didn’t end up with some rotten human....” He whispered. You nodded your head and pulled away from him. “If anything....Diavolo is a great guy...I hope he treats you better than I did.”

“Thank you...” You said with a small smile. “...I’m sorry for what I said at the party and five minutes ago....”

“No no no. I’m sorry for what I said.” He responded.

“No what I said was far worse.” You challenged with a slight smirk.

“Did that fall cause brain damage? I- oh wait I know what you’re doing.” He started to counter, but realized immediately what you were trying to do. Just like old times. You both let out a laugh, finally feeling better now that the tension is gone, and a more comfortable silence replaced it.

“So... are you going to marry Alex?” You asked, looking back at the brother. He seemed to ponder the question for a while, fidgeting with his fingers.

“I was planning on asking them tonight....” He responded awkwardly, coughing into his hand. Your eyebrows shot up in shock. “They’re currently at Purgatory Hall, seeing as you took over their bed.”

“It was my bed first anyway.” You snubbed. He chuckled at that.

“What about you and Diavolo?” He asked. You blinked and looked at him.

“What about us?” You asked. He looked at you like you were a complete idiot, another laugh escaping.

“Are you two getting married?” He asked again, a small smile on his lips. You parted your mouth to say something, but the doors to the bedroom swung open dramatically and in strutted Diavolo.

“I-”

“If you think I’m going to sit here and propose to you in front of your ex boyfriend, you’re dead wrong.” He responded, outstretching a hand to you, a smile as big as could be stretching his face out. You let out a genuine laugh, grasping his hand gently as he slowly pushed you into his arms. Not the typical proposal you would assume Diavolo would do, but there was something so entrancing and comforting about him that you couldn’t say no. You loved him. Since the minute your feet hit the smooth stones of the RAD Student Council Room, you were lovestruck. He was the ray of sun that shone brightly against the never-ending night of Devildom.

Maybe dying was the best thing to ever happen to you. Because without the darkness, you would have never found your sunlight.

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natsspammityspamspamham · 5 years

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I HAVE FINISHED ALL THE ROUTES OF FE THREE HOUSES (for now) - SPOILERS

There’s DLC saying there will be new content and new characters and all of that starting April 30th 2020. I just thought that “new content”?! DID YOU MEAN NEW ROUTE?! I’m sorry for being dumb.

However, THIS LINK indicates that there will be a “Completely” new story.

This new update (the free one) will offer LUNATIC MODE for all ya crazy people.

https://fireemblem.nintendo.com/three-houses/downloadable-content/

Each takes about 20-25 hours depending on the time you want to spend grinding and/or exploring. If you read through every line and wait for the voice actors to finish every line, maybe it’ll take you 70 or something.

The storyline of this game was such a step up from Fates partially because the Fates storyline was shit, we all knew it, and I still enjoyed it despite having a seemingly bland cast and a terrible story. On the other hand, your weapons don’t run out of ammo. This game was vastly different with no weapon triangle, pair-ups, and all that other stuff from Awakening and Fates. Keep in mind, I’m a filthy casual that’s only played Shadow Dragon, Awakening, and Fates.

This game was so much fun. If you want to enjoy it for yourself, don’t read on because there are plenty of spoilers for the whole family!

This is the game in a nutshell: Which of you likeable people shall I kill? Yes, I find Edelgard likeable.

Church of Seiros (Normal/Casual - Black Eagles then decide not to side with Edelgard)

This route was my first. I made a mistake of not recruiting anyone else. It was a little sad without an overpowered house leader (I’m looking at you, Claude). I didn’t like Rhea. I accidentally chose this route. I wouldn’t mind doing it again, but again, I don’t like Rhea.

I played it on casual to get used to the mechanics. That and I’m a filthy casual.

I feel like this is probably my least favourite route because of the absence of a house leader and because I was so ignorant as to not recruit anyone from the other houses. I played as a male character. I chose Petra at the end. She’s so sweet and nice. She is everything that I stand for.

I would give it a solid 7/10.

Black Eagles (Normal/Classic - Choose to go against the church)

Ah, revolution. Go against the church, side with the people who murdered your father, but then realize it’s too late to go back and that Rhea. Weirdly, it made sense to me at the time considering how I felt a strong sense of betrayal towards Rhea anyway. I recruited everyone I wanted (Ingrid, Felix, Sylvain) except for Annette and Lysithea I think? I’m pretty sure I also got Marianne. I didn’t manage to get Ashe, but after a playthrough of Blue Lions, I now realize I missed out on nothing. I couldn’t use the guy. I just got Bernadetta, and despite being under levelled, she fulfilled his role and better.

Edelgard is the second strongest out of the house leaders I think. This route was fun because it was the one full of revolution. It was what would be considered as “turning evil for the sake of good”. I just remember really enjoying the gameplay and defeating Dimitri. I, however, didn’t appreciate Edelgard just stealing the last moment and killing Dimitri. You have a choice to kill Claude. In the end, Claude can live on pretty much all routes.

Again, I really enjoyed this route. I would definitely play and again, and I will. Married Edelgard with a female avatar.

Golden Deer (Normal/Classic - Fear the Deer - This is about as neutral as you can get for now)

This is arguably as neutral as you can get... for now. Claude is a great unit, a great guy, and Joe is so devoted to this role. I played in both Japanese and English (switched whenever I turned on the system). I did kind of prefer Toshi’s interpretation at times, but Joe had a ton of good moments where I preferred his voice as well. For one, I feel like Toshi has far more experience with confession scenes, so when I chose Claude in the end, Toshi delivered better there, but the localization did wonders for Joe as well. The script changes made sure that Claude became the character that everyone knows and loves.

Gameplay-wise, at this point, I just recruited all my guys and gals from the other houses and ignored A TON of the Golden Deer, and I feel no remorse. They’re alive and kicking... just not on the field. I got a ton of my Black Eagles (Dorothea, Caspar, Linhardt, Petra) and a ton of my Blue Lions (Felix, Ingrid, Sylvain, and probably a few others I’m not remembering).

Overall, I think this was my favourite route because Claude was awesome, so overpowered with his relic, and he’s just an awesome guy that should’ve been bi but the confession end card was drawn with only the female avatar which makes Edelgard the only confirmed bi out of the three.

Blue Lions (Normal/Classic - STRONG OOF)

After being scolded on Tumblr for not understanding Dimitri, I went and did the Blue Lions route!

I called this guy insane and got backlash. Let me put it this way, the Black Eagles route cuts him out to be a real big villain. He’s so fixated on revenge that he’s blinded. He causes the deaths of a lot of his former classmates with little to no remorse.

But on this route? Ah, well, he’s still like that for the first half post-time skip.

This route is rich in backstory. It paints Edelgard is such a bad light which I enjoy so much. Do I like her? Yes. But do I think this is necessary? Absolutely. That last scene was “poetic cinema”. The way the dagger worked and all those broken dreams. All the NPC deaths and things like that. Nice.

I’m still not a huge fan of Dimitri. Gameplay-wise, he was the worst and hardest to use out of the three. I’m also saying that because that person almost ruined this whole route for me.

_____________________

A quick ramble about voice actors for this game:

YOU WOULDN’T BELIEVE HOW HAPPY I WAS TO FIND OUT WE GOT TO HEAR THE JAPANESE VOICES!

As a seiyuu fan, I was ecstatic. However, I did kind of miss that Hosoya didn’t appear in this one. He was Morgan in Awakening and Shigure in Fates. I listened to both casts, and besides a few voices (Japanese Bernadetta killed my ears), I loved both sides no matter how different they were. While some delivery was a little weak (nothing major), I found that it was generally very well-done.

Both Ai Kakuma and Tara Platt stood out to me as Edelgard. For one, Tara Platt is immensely talented. I didn’t hear Ai Kakuma around as much (I only heard her make an appearance in Kimetsu no Yaiba).

Both Kaito Ishikawa and Chris Hackney were great as Dimitri, but I think Chris gave him a bit more of a “snobbish king” kind of feel which was probably better for my perception of his character.

Joe Zieja was iconic as Claude but so was Toshiyuki Toyonaga. Toshi was far suaver and flirtatious and pulling off more of that “otome game” kind of vibe while Joe has contributed so much to the fandom outside of the actual game. It’s much harder to choose between the two for this one.

Both sides really bring it their all, and while I do have my preferences, I would be fine either way.

Of course, these lines weren’t really translated perfectly in the dub. From what I hear, there are a ton of nuances and the way that they spoke that didn’t go both ways. In the end, the gist was the same.

I might ramble further in a separate post because I wanna.

#fire emblem three houses #fire emblem #fe3h

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Chapter 149: Villain Island

Previously on BnHA: Twice confronted Nighteye with a clone of Rappa. Nighteye proceeded to beat his ass using rubber seal stamps, incidentally revealing his surprisingly cut washboard abs. Night then blasted away part of Twice’s mask, forcing Twice to retreat in a panic. His personality disorder started to get the better of him, but then Toga showed up and tied a bandana around the missing part of his mask, and it calmed him down and was also the sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever seen. Twice briefly flashbacked to the League of Villains meeting when Tomura announced that Togawice would be lent out to the Eight Precepts. Twice was against this because it turns out he feels responsible for introducing Overhaul to the League and getting Magne killed (and Compress maimed, but no one cares about him). Toga wasn’t keen on it either, but Tomura somehow won them both over by smiling and making it seem like he had a plan in the works. Whether he actually does is anyone’s guess, but damned if it wasn’t convincing. Anyway, so now Toga and Twice are fed up with the Precepts’ general incompetence, though, and are ready to turn on them. And I’ve never been so excited for a plot twist in my whole damn life.

Today on BnHA: Flashback!Overhaul meets Togawice for the first time and asks them about their quirks. The Precepts then ask if Tomura plans on betraying them, and Twice and Toga are all, “[shifty eyed glance] nope, nothing to see here. no impending betrayals on our end, no sirree.” This apparently is good enough for Overhaul, who asks them to sit tight and wait for further orders. Back in the present, Irinaka makes one last-ditch effort to crush the remaining heroes in his accursed hallway. However, Toga gets him to reveal his true body, and Deku and Aizawa immediately attack. With Aizawa having finally neutralized his quirk, Irinaka is detained. We then cut to Mirio, with time rewinding back to show what happened immediately after he went forward on his own and caught up with Overhaul.

But the real star of this chapter is the omake at the end. Kurogiri takes it upon himself to improve solidarity among the League by taking them all on a mandatory outing to an uninhabited island to engage in a survival trial. Tomura spends the entire time lounging on a couch, Dabi unleashes his inner Bear Grylls, Toga steals a bikini, and tbh I kind of wish we could get an entire manga series of just this. But we’ll just have to settle for these four pages, I guess.

(As always, all comments not marked with an ETA are my unspoiled reactions from my first readthrough of this chapter. I’ve read up through chapter 178, now. If I’d known yesterday’s Superbowl would end up somehow being more boring than this entire arc, I would have never bothered taking the day off. But, well, hindsight.)

no, I don’t mind at all

by the way what exactly is going on here with Twice and these handcuff-looking things that I’m not actually sure are handcuffs. because that cord looks more like an earjack cord. but why is it coming from the bracelet like that. I basically have so many questions about this image, and am now also more closely examining exactly why Twice chose a skintight bodysuit as his villain costume

(ETA: I have no excuse. he’s fought with them before and everything; I just never noticed.)

more villain flashbacks!!

but this time it’s T&T introducing themselves to the Eights

“I’m never gonna forgive you, so it’s a pleasure to be working with you” ahaha. classic Twice. this is the kind of iconic bullshit that I’m reading this manga for

Overhaul’s apologizing for killing Magne and says he didn’t want to

but if you really felt that way you could have easily put her back together again, you sociopath

oh my god look at this though??!

holy shit. so she really is another canon trans character, and it’s treated seriously too. I mean, obviously it’s not perfect, and it also sucks that she got killed off, but I’m so used to LGBT manga characters being treated as comedic relief at best, so this frank statement of “hey you misgendered my friend, get it right” and it being totally serious is actually really refreshing

also what is Viz going to do when they get to this chapter. most likely change it up entirely I’ll bet. fucking Viz

anyway, so Twice is all “so now what” and Overhaul says he and Toga just have to follow his orders

he’s also asking for the details of their quirks

but Toga is all “we’ll tell you if and when it’s needed because fuck you”, and have I mentioned I love her???

but holy shit though

bud. are you like, okay. jesus christ

so Twice has decided he hates this and he’s not going to say anything

so naturally the very next thing he does is explain his quirk in great detail!!

holy shit this is an unexpected info dump

once again Horikoshi is all “I see your questions and I will answer them in due time.” so it was a tape measure!! has he had these this whole time?

just went back and checked. yes he has. unbelievable

still waiting on an explanation for that skintight bodysuit though

some of this goes against what we previously knew about his quirk, though. this is the first time a two-thing limit has been brought up, and that seems to go against the whole Calvin and Hobbes “I made a bunch of clones of myself” thing that we know he did way back when (and which he’s also referencing here, as I assume it’s the reason he no longer makes copies of himself). maybe the limit only applies to things/people that aren’t him?

this reminds me a lot of Momo’s quirk in that he needs to know a lot about the object before duplicating it. which means he’s definitely a lot more intelligent than he sometimes comes off as

I mentioned a couple chapters ago that Toga is extremely intelligent as well, and now I’m wondering if Tomura realizes just how lucky he is to have all these smart crazy people on his side. we’ve seen the quality of Overhaul’s own followers, by contrast, and the League most definitely has them beat

anyway! so Toga’s staring at Twice in annoyance for going off like that right after she made a big deal of not telling Overhaul anything

she says he made her look stupid

OMG YESSSS so now she’s going into the details of her own quirk after all omggggg

look at the damn hoops Horikoshi’s making himself jump through all because he made the decision not to do any villain bios. well it’s your own damn fault

I’m starting to understand why Deku keeps all these notebooks

the bit about the transformation time being proportionate to the amount of blood she consumes is extremely interesting and relevant, and now it makes sense why she had that weird gizmo to suck as much blood as possible

I would estimate she got maybe a cup of Ochako’s blood, so we can assume she can transform into her for up to 1 day if needed. but as for Deku, we saw in chapter 114 that she only managed to get like a couple drops worth

one drop is about .05 ml, which is about .0002 cups. so she can transform into Deku for .04% of one day unless I fucked that math up (which is highly possible)

what is that, like a couple seconds?? because if so, holy shit but I’ve been vastly overestimating her ability to wreak mindbendy havoc on our heroes

also does she have to drink the blood right before the transformation for best results? if she drinks someone’s blood but then doesn’t transform into that person right away, does she eventually lose the ability even if she doesn’t transform into them? or can she store that “energy” and use it whenever she likes?

basically this is awesome to be getting so much information here, but now if anything I’ve just got more questions

(ETA: for real. either I really did calculate that wrong, or she got more of Deku’s blood than I thought, or Horikoshi is the one that fucked up the math lol. oh well, it’s easy enough to just shrug and go along with it)

anyway! I almost forgot there was still a chapter going on

so now Overhaul’s henchman is casually asking if Tomura is planning to betray them. well duh

very convincing. well done

anyway, Overhaul seems satisfied for the time being, but he’s telling them they’ll have to stay in the underground HQ until they receive their orders from him. so basically house arrest

and now he’s leaving and Mimic is having a total power trip

seriously dude, simmer down

he’s babbling on about the yakuza getting revenge and “taking back society’s reins from the shadows” and fulfilling the dream of their bedridden boss

and now I think we’re back in the present

and this lil fellow is, as you’ll recall, the guy who’s currently controlling all the shifty walls of the underground HQ while all hopped up on quirk-enhancers

Toga and Twice are having a conversation mid-somersault about how they’re gonna let the heroes take out the Precepts for them. I think

meanwhile Aizawa is asking Deku if he also heard the crazy voice coming from the walls which is, as Deku surmises, Irinaka’s voice

ohhhh I see, if they can pinpoint where the voice is coming from then they can find Irinaka’s real body and like punch him until he quits being an asshole and dragging out the arc with his stupid quirk

do you know, I just realized that basically this entire thing is his fault, and just like that he’s my least favorite character. that’s right. you beat out Stain and even Mineta, because Mineta only ever hijacks like a page or two at a time at most. certainly not a dozen chapters in one go

but anyway, the voice is echoing too much for them to pinpoint it

meanwhile the cops are freaking out because they’re about to get crushed

I can’t figure out why Mimic didn’t just actually crush them all to begin with and be done with it. unless it’s just that he didn’t want the full force of the law bearing down on their organization and seeking justice for dozens of cop murders

HOLY SHIT YOU GUYS TOGA IS TAKING MATTERS INTO HER OWN HANDS

NEVER SEND A BUNCH OF SO-CALLED HEROES TO DO A VILLAIN’S JOB

HOLY SHIT WHAT’S HAPPENING NOW. IRINAKA IS SCREAMING INCOMPREHENSIBLY AND DEKU SEEMS TO HAVE HEARD IT AND IS NOW RUSHING TOWARD THE SOURCE OF THE NOISE

AHHHHH DID HE DO IT???

I CAN’T TELL IF HE GOT HIM. SURELY THAT SMASH WASN’T JUST FOR SHOW

OH MY GODDDDD

YESSSSSSSSSSSS

AND T&T ARE WAVING AT HIM GLEEFULLY AS HE FALLS

I LOVE EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT

the amount of relief I’m feeling right now can accurately be described as “overwhelming” and it’s amazing

because he’s SUCH A GOOD FUCKING PERSON, Deku is catching Irinaka as he falls, because this is BnHA where a fall from a great height onto a bunch of rocks actually will kill you

and please tell me the rooms are back to normal now omg

YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

THANK YOU MANGA GODS

HOLY SHIT!!!!!

MIRIOOOOOOOOOO

holy shit. holy fucking shit, finally. finally

FLYING SOLO AGAINST THE FINAL BOSS HOLY SHIT

so is this the part where we find out Mirio is fucking dead omg. holy shit. but you know what, I don’t even care, because we’re finally up to the good stuff and no more bullshit. I feel another binge coming on

BONUS:

oho, what’s this? “special jump outing”?

I don’t know where to fucking start omg

first of all, I’ve actually been impressed with their solidarity thus far so this is news to me

second, I can’t with how their idea of team bonding is “let’s build a house from scratch together on an uninhabited island”

third KUROGIRI WHAT ARE YOU WEARING

cutie

I swear to god if they keep up these antics I’m downgrading their name from “League of Villains” to “Villain Squad Jr.”

Tomura is trying to remind us all that he’s For Reals Evil but idk

on the one hand, we actually have seen this guy kill a man with his bare hands. but on the other hand, it was revenge for Magne, and he hasn’t killed anyone else that I can think of, aside from probably his parents by accident

and also my favorite of all the villains is the only one who is for sure a psychotic serial killer, so it could just be that I don’t actually care

so Kuro is telling Tomura to be less strange, and announcing that the first order of business is to secure a water source

are you telling me you came to this random island to build a house and you don’t even know where you’re building it yet

and now there appears to have been some kind of cut, and Tomura is drinking ginger ale. fucking ginger ale. you’re not evil at all, are you

I can’t believe I was actually worried about what these guys might do to Bakugou if they kept him. their idea of torture is probably less fingernail-pulling and more “let’s make him watch a bunch of Kay Jewelers commercials until he cracks.” which to be fair would break me pretty quickly

(ETA: although Tomura did get pretty hardcore there with Overhaul at the end! but I mean, Overhaul was a total prick you guys. that doesn’t count)

and now he’s tied Kurogiri to a tree and is just making him warp over whatever they need

everyone please look at this panel of Dabi wearing overalls

“unexpectedly into it”

this is the most damning evidence yet that he’s definitely related to Shouto

you go Dabi. I feel like he’s learned all about how to survive on a tropical island by like watching Moana a bunch of times or something

consider the coconut, consider its tree, we use each part of the coconut, that’s all we neeeeed

meanwhile Tomura is reading a magazine on a couch on the beach

Toga is wading in the ocean and her overalls got wet so she’s changing into a bikini

did we ever confirm she was really responsible for those serial murders. it could have been someone else. you never know

anyway she stole the bikini and Kurogiri is acting all shocked like “omg this girl really stole a bikini” but like. what else is she gonna do. pay for it like a normal person

don’t tell me you guys were actually legitimately leasing that bar this whole time. Kurogiri probably actually had his liquor license

so Toga is legit frolicking, and Tomura is playing a PSP or something. with the hand still on his face. how can you even see the screen

and now Dabi has caught them all lazing about and he’s throwing a fit

he’s even doing teamwork

now he’s lecturing Dabi on what’s really important

I think they probably would have turned off the Kay Jewelers commercials after like five of them or so and been all “okay I hope you learned your lesson.” and then if he still didn’t want to join them they would have been all “fine then but it’s your loss” and given him a ginger ale and sent him back home

so now Kurogiri is rescinding all rules and letting them all do their thing

Villain Squad Jr. it’s fucking official

and that’s the end of the strip. but the bonus material is still continuing because FA has been doing these translations of the character book! and the next page is amazing oh my god

YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND, IN THE FUTURE WHEN I INEVITABLY START TO WRITE FANFIC ABOUT THIS STUPID ADDICTIVE SERIES THIS IS A FUCKING REFERENCE GOLDMINE

right away I feel like a good 75% of fanfics are slightly off because U.A. has compulsory Saturday classes. say goodbye to your weekend getaway antics

they don’t actually have much homeroom time with Aizawa in the morning. what subject does he actually teach? I need someone to tell me, I refuse to believe Horikoshi hasn’t established this in canon by now. it’s probably somewhere in this very book

(ETA: I STILL NEED TO KNOW THIS. I’M STILL GOING TO INSIST IT’S ART IF HORIKOSHI DOESN’T CORRECT ME)

anyway, that’s it for today, but that was awesome. on I go to chapter 150

#bnha #boku no hero academia #twice (bnha)#toga himiko #shigaraki tomura #kurogiri #dabi #bnha spoilers #mha spoilers #makeste reads bnha #in hindsight I think chevy 'REAL PEOPLE!!! NOT ACTORS!!!' commercials would be even worse torture than kay jewelers #though that might have aroused too much rage in him and accidentally powered him up #although they could have immediately put him back to sleep by just making him watch the damn superbowl last night #not to beat a dead horse but my GOD that was bad #ah well it's all in the past now #I'm gonna go finish this class 1-A band AU arc

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ryouverua · 6 years

Text

Miu and Co’s Stimulating Virtual Adventures (Part 1)

is this going to be a normal field trip?

WITH KOKICHI OUMA? NO WAY ~ !

insert shuichi groaning

Oh cool we got a whole animated sequence!

I FUCKING KNEW IT

AAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!

THEY’RE SO FUCKING CUTE WHAT THE HELL

THIS ISN’T WHAT I EXPECTED AT ALL!!!!

Yeah, seriously! I guess I was expecting sprites similar to Hajime’s from last game, or at least an island setting - this really does look like a murder mystery manor! good god we aren’t on rokkenjima are we

I’M SENDING A STRONGLY-WORDED LETTER TO THOSE IN CHARGE

Aaaaw, it’s played off for laughs but it really is sad for K1-b0 to be constantly disparaging himself like that.

But there is good and bad about the new sprites, which someone who has been incredibly aware and sensitive of the changes in his own body probably clued into immediately...

See now that the audience knows, he can slip and say stuff like this out loud, huh? It... almost makes me wish the scene at the end of the last chapter had taken place at the end of this one. That might just be a pacing thing though...

PUSH HIM DAMN IT

PUSH HIM ON IT SHUICHI I BEG YOU

... DAMN IT HE’S NOT PUSHING HIM.

I just realized, we’re going to see a lot more of people’s emotions thanks to the way the sprites work. I wonder if they directly translate to mood? Does that mean Maki and, hell, Kokichi will be more transparent here?

Omfg the literal first thing Kokichi does to K1-b0 is punch him!!! The robophobia never ends...

Wait, question though - how is it connected to K1-b0? I mean blah blah blah, brainwave technological voodoo etc is connecting all the other kids to the helmets, but what about for K1-b0? How does that work? I... guess it’s better not to think about it too hard? 8′D

Man, Iruma’s a lot cuter here too. Also, seems like a good time to mention I’m totally in love with their little headshots at the bottom left with the little animated dialogue bubbles. The others might not like the sprites, but I like it, Miu! Maybe it’s just different when you’re in a 3rd person POV vs 1st person POV?

I love it when Tsumugi goes off like the total fucking nerd she is.

DAMN WE’RE NOT EVEN ON A TROPICAL ISLAND AND PEOPLE ARE STILL GETTING BURNED

LEAVE K1-B0 ALONE KOKICHI JEEZ

So basically they’re leaving the door open for someone to be killed in here. I figured that would be the case...

Kaito is pretty quick on understanding too which I appreciate, considering how they’ve been playing up his ‘brash dumb’ character type up lately.

You are way too happy about that.

Though it also means that if someone dies in here, we’re not going to see any marks left on the body in the real world or here? That’s not good either!

Yeah, that’s... honestly what I’d like to know. Seriously, wouldn’t Miu have found it when recoding everything if it was in here already? And if she did, why wouldn’t she tell them?

I’m telling you, Tsumugi being a snobby nerd will never get old to me. You know she’s got a N64, Super Nintendo, and maybe even older consoles like Atari and Dreamcast tucked away somewhere!

It’s funny - Kokichi doesn’t reference games nearly as much as Tsumugi, but he’s clearly a gamer too. Makes sense I suppose - I always think of a chessboard when I look at his scarf.

I’m sure this info will come in handy, but not sure how yet.

THAT WILL DEFINITELY BE IMPORTANT FOR GONTA-RELATED REASONS

NO DAMN IT STOP DEATHFLAGGING HIM BY NEUTRALIZING HIS ADVANTAGES DAMN IT

This... really sounds like they’re setting up the rules for a murder mystery game...

Maki made an interesting note about the game - when you take physical advantage away and talent in general, it’ll completely change how a killing game would potentially go down. But I mean... wouldn’t that just be battle royal-type slaughter? Not that any kind of killing game can be considered ‘elegant’, but I can’t help but wonder why a brutal option like this is available at all..

Also can I just say the remixed music and the cute little noises when they waddle around... I love this. I love this, guys. Also watching Shuichi run is hilarious tbh.

A wild rarepair Kaito x Tsumugi appears???

I’m telling you, we’re going to be seeing more of everyone’s genuine emotions on their face here! Man, I’m really liking this set up already.

Kokichi is desperate to ship Kaito with anyone other than Shuichi so he can have Mr Detective all to himself

I think it means he falls for Kokichi’s verbal bait way too easily. 8′D But hey, Tsumugi doesn’t seem to be against Kaito’s interest! Not... obviously, anyway. just gonna casually that pairing to the question mark pile...

Yeah, that’s a pretty classic Kokichi move and... that’s... also a really bad idea. Maybe this is a good chance for Shuichi to get to know him in the context of the game as opposed to FTEs?

Okay, is it just me or is he trying to piss Kaito off especially right now??

NO GONTA YOU’RE TOO GOOD FOR THIS WORLD AND THE ABSOLUTE WRONG CHOICE TO WATCH KOKICHI

fml if Kokichi gets Gonta killed which is where I feel like this is going I will be so upset - but I feel like Kokichi won’t do it himself??? Maybe someone attacks Kokichi and Gonta puts himself in harm’s way instead and dies instead? Like, Kokichi is basically turning Gonta into a goon of his, and we all know what happens in movies and games to the henchmen of ‘Supreme Leaders’...

Honestly guys, how soon do we forget? Are we really going to let them go off together like this? The Bug Meet-and-Greet was literally just a week ago! I know a lot has happened since then, but still!

I do like that both Maki (not included) and Kaito caught on that Kokichi pulled that trick on purpose to have Gonta with him - I just wish they followed up!

On the other hand, we could just as easily get Tsumugi murdering Miu lmao. I’m telling you, if Miu shows up dead...

I didn’t need this in here but I kept it because he’s adorable like this

SHIT THAT’S RIGHT THAT’S HOW MY DOG REACTS WHENEVER HE JUMPS IN THE SNOW I-I mean don’t call Kaito a dog, Maki! That’s not very nice even if it is accurate

Man, I’m starting to wonder if Tsumugi is going to kill Miu here for real 8′D

Always a ray of sunshine, our Sweetcheeks. I’m leaning towards them having some sort of incident happen by the end of this, if not an outright murder. They’re talking too much about how the brain and senses experiencing ‘death’ and causing the body to follow suit for them not to do anything with it. I mean, I guess the exception would be if it’s talking about an overall VR experience like the last game!

So the storage room is pretty much empty and the binoculars can only see as far as the line on the map which Miu is going to explain too. Man, the more things get set up, the more convinced I am that someone isn’t going to make it to the end of the chapter...

Next K1-b0 has an interesting bit of dialogue about how there’s nothing beyond the walls of this world, and how it makes him think about the academy walls. Which... again, I think is leaning towards an apocalyptic world/space scenario? It certainly seems that way to me. It’s interesting to have him point it out though, for some reason. 8′D

I’m 99% sure that’s her default setting, but okay.

weird tangents like this is why I love shuichi

It’s like, a legitimate thing to fixate on and worry about and I totally relate to it but at the same time I’m sure he recognizes how ridiculous it sounds in his head

Isn’t that you? 8′D

oMFG WH A T

WHY ARE YOU DOING HIM WRONG LIKE THIS MIU

MAKI NO I THOUGHT YOUR ROASTING DAYS WERE FINALLY BEHIND YOU

HIMIKO I THOUGHT WE WERE BONDING EARLIER

WE WERE BONDING DAMN IT

I’m shocked that the sprite is able to capture the absolute betrayal on it face but somehow, it does

whispers this is getting its own special post

“Look at my glorious self, doing you the favour of allowing you to prostrate yourself in front of all your classmates!”

Miu you’re making a lot of enemies this chapter, including the sub (lol) protagonist. We've already had one first POV murder - do we really want another one?

That’s going to go missing at some point. If the murder happens, maybe the murderer will grab it and hide it or something?

"Oh, I’ve been lurking here for a while! But I needed some time to come up with my best masochist!Shuichi jokes and lines. You’re not going to hear the end of this for a long time, Masoichi Subhara!”

... or that. could be that too.

Hm, so I guess it’s on the other side of the map. It would be one thing of Kokichi is by himself but Gonta is with him and I trust him way farther than I’d be able to throw him and Kokichi for that matter

KAITO NO YOU’RE MAKING THINGS WORSE

OMFG SHUICHI IS JUST A COMPLETE WRECK AFTER WHAT JUST HAPPENED

And you know Kokichi is totally trying to figure out what he missed, and why all the other classmates are giving the two of them weird looks/snickering...

Oh, and now we’re finally getting to the line shown in the map.

Kokichi are you just trying to cash in some Saiouma chips because you realize how much Saimota happened when you were away with Gonta? 8′D

H-Hey don’t look at me, look at Miu! She started it!

Okay at this point I will be shocked if there isn’t a murder here or some sort of incident causing a murder in the real world.

Also Kokichi you’re way too happy about this...

What are you playing at here man???

And you! Shouldn’t you know where it is since you reprogrammed the whole thing?!?!

Miu and Kokichi are conspiring about something??? Again???

Please don’t fall for it...

..... Yikes. 8′D I-I’ll give it to him because I have a feeling his failing health and the events of last chapter regarding the occult probably have him feeling emasculated.

Yeah, seriously. So Kaito is on the roof, Kokichi is in the salon and... free for all for everything else. Uh, okay....?

IF GONTA FUCKING TURNS UP DEAD KOKICHI I SWEAR I WILL DUEL YOU IN A SHADOW GAME MYSELF duel links has upped my skill somewhat I should be able to hold my own...

Thank goodness for Tsumugi’s odd affinity for Gonta oTL

a) Maybe this is the chance for us to get to know Tsumugi a little better in-game since we’re going to explore the rest of the mansion together

b) Kaito really has no bloody idea how he and Shuichi’s relationship comes off to the rest of their classmates (or maybe he does and he’s a-okay with it)

c) MAKI......

oh no

THAT’S.... NOT..... QUITE IT.....

nothing like the sting of figuring out you’re third-wheeling

This is in no way the game trying to establish groups and/or alibis. Got it.

Left side: Kokichi, Gonta, Kaito, Shuichi, Tsumugi

Right side: Miu, Himiko, Maki, K1-b0. Alright, good to know.

I really don’t need this to be here but the fact that Kaito is so woefully oblivious and also apparently just... completely into Maki as a friend only is hilarious to me. I mean, maybe the game will push more romantic feelings on his side in the last chapter but he’s just coming off as so gung-ho about their friendship without taking it to the next level - it’s just.... so refreshing...

It’s nice to see Kaede always being in his thoughts outside of general ‘I must do this for Kaede! Inspiration via manpain!’ stuff.

FUCK YES I THINK I’M RIGHT ABOUT THE ESCAPISM SECONDARY THEME we’re finally bringing it up in nearly identical words again! sorry tsumugi things aren’t looking good for you mastermind-wise

With that said, of all people, she dismisses it herself. 8′D Maybe if the game had better graphics engine - would that be good enough for you princess???

DANGANRONPA YOU ARE DANCING ON A KNIFE’S EDGE RIGHT NOW

Man I keep dancing back and forth between the idea of her being a victim this chapter and a killer and I just... can’t... decide on one. Ugh. The only thing that keeps me from thinking she’ll be a victim is having Gonta right there, raising just as many death flags as her. I-I guess we’ll find out shortly anyway...

Meanwhile while I ramble, K1-b0 has Priorities

#Shuichi Saihara #Kaito Momota #Miu Iruma #Ryou plays drv3 #Kokichi Ouma #Kokichi Oma #Kiibo #K1-b0 #Keebo #Gonta Gokuhara #Maki Harukawa #Tsumugi Shirogane #I don't know why these are taking so long but this has been haunting my dreams and waking thoughts for the past.... week #omg it's been pretty much a week #meanwhile my #saimota #loving ass cannot be stopped #spoilers #drv3 spoilers

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owl-eyed-woman · 7 years

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Attack on Titan Season 2 Episode 36 Analysis Part 2: Ymir and Christa

When this season began, I had no idea that Ymir and Christa would become such central characters or that I would learn to love them oh so much. They were such non-entities in the first season. They were, at best, two vaguely interesting side characters.

But now, in a mere 12 episodes, Ymir and Christa have been decisively moved from their once peripheral position to the very centre of this story and, in the process, have proven themselves to be two of the most well-written and relatable characters in the bunch.

In the scheme of this episode though, plot-wise and even theme-wise, they are almost disconnected, existing in their own little plot cul-de-sac. If they were less well-written, one might say that they distract from the episode as a whole. It’s the strength of the character writing and the emotional conflict between these two that ensures they remain one of the best parts of an already stellar episode and one of the most compelling parts of AOT as a show.

Essentially, there can be no satisfying resolution to this whole endeavour without first addressing Ymir’s disturbing decision to kidnap Christa and resolving its immediate impact on Christa and her relationship with Ymir.

Upon being removed from Ymir’s mouth (ew), Christa immediately demands an explanation for her unexpected abduction. It’s this process of explanation and justification that forms the foundation of this scene’s tension and stakes. How Ymir explains the situation to Christa will ultimately determine the fate of humanity, Christa and herself.

However, despite the fact that this conversation will have major repercussions for all of humankind, AOT keeps this scene intimate and personal, focusing on what’s at stake emotionally. AOT understands that what matters most in this moment is how this decision plays out between these two girls who love each other.

With this in mind, Ymir’s measly attempts to justify her current course of action are almost funny in a terrifying, messed-up sort of way. She’s deeply aware of the absolute indefensibility of her actions and finds herself struggling to explain herself to Christa. Though she seemed to reconcile herself to the moral reprehensibility of her actions last episode, in the face of Christa and the very real possibility that she just might despise her, Ymir is finding that she’s less able to handle this situation than she previously thought.

Christa, bless her heart, senses none of this emotional turmoil and instead assumes that Ymir is being threatened by Reiner or Bertholdt. I mean, why else would Ymir put her in harm’s way? Christa simply can’t, or perhaps, doesn’t want to believe that Ymir is capable of such a betrayal. She even offers Ymir an out, reaffirming her loyalty and promising to vouch for her no matter what.

It’s at once sad and strangely sweet that Ymir continues to be shocked by just how good Christa is. She understands so much of who Christa is as a person, but this essential aspect of Christa, her unwavering kindness, still remains unfathomable.

In a way, this scene serves as yet another example of how Christa and Ymir’s natures mirror one another’s in their own distorted way. While Ymir and Christa are starkly opposed morally, they both instinctively apply their personal moral beliefs onto the world around them, regardless of context. To put it simply, while Christa expects the best from people, Ymir always assumes the worst.

This remains true in this scene, as Ymir applies her own self-centred worldview to Christa, assuming she’ll react with anger, suspicion or even hate. When Ymir is instead met with unconditional trust and love, her guilt becomes even more potent and her choice even harder. Even after all that she’s done, Christa continues to offer Ymir a chance to turn back before she goes down this dark path.

But it’s all for naught; she’s already decided that she’ll do whatever it takes to both protect Christa and selfishly ensure Christa remains with her. Besides, Ymir’s too much of a realist to believe she can turn back after what she’s done. There is only one option left to her: do whatever she can to keep Christa on her side.

Using Christa’s assumption that she is in some kind of danger to her advantage, Ymir suddenly claims that she kidnapped Christa, not of her own volition, but out of fear for her life. She is blatantly lying about her own agency and painting herself as a passive victim, exploiting Christa’s innate impulse to defend the weak. There’s no point mincing words here, this is a selfish, underhanded, manipulative thing to do.

But even as she commits to this deceit, digging herself deeper and deeper into her lies, Ymir starts to mix in the truth about herself and her love for Christa. Though she claims that she is being threatened by Reiner and Bertholdt, Ymir also admits that she is acting out of an intense fear of dying and acknowledges the undeniable selfishness behind this act.

Ymir didn’t have to add this. She could have simply stuck to her story, and remained the passive and innocent victim. Instead, Ymir purposefully constructs her false confession in a way that acknowledges her own culpability and deficiencies as a human being. This complicates what might otherwise have been a straightforward ‘confession’.

In her own way, Ymir is being entirely honest. Though it may sound sappy, Ymir is indeed motivated by a fear of dying; for Ymir, life without Christa would be the same as dying. Whilst the specifics of her explanation are all fabrication, the emotions Ymir attributes to her actions, are, in a way, the complete and utter truth. As Christa hears this, she struggles to reconcile her belief in the fundamental goodness of people with the obvious selfishness and deceit evident in Ymir’s ‘confession’. Perhaps Ymir is just another person trying to use Christa for their own selfish means.

But even knowing all this, as the sun bursts through the clouds to shine gloriously over them, Christa openly and readily reasserts that she will always be Ymir’s ally. It’s a strangely triumphant moment, as the bright almost heavenly light underscores Christa’s inherent goodness and selflessness.

Ymir looks up in desperate awe at Christa, basking in this light, before lowering her head into shadows. In this subtle shift, AOT powerfully shows us the darkness underlying this moment of so-called triumph, corrupted by Ymir’s deceit and betrayal.

Ymir has got what she wanted. Christa has agreed to come with her, and against all odds, she doesn’t despise her. But there is no victory or joy for Ymir. Instead, this a sombre, deeply ambiguous moment of someone manipulating the one they love because of that same love. Ymir is hurting Christa and she knows it.

Christa, however, seems completely oblivious to this, and, in the wake of this (false) confession, seems to accept her fate with open arms. Christa is a genuinely honest person, so honest in fact, that she isn’t able to conceive of people as capable of dishonesty, especially those she trusts. She’s kind of like Eren in that sense; their loyalty, once gained, is unconditional.

AOT unfailingly portrays a brutal world filled with violence and cruelty, but characters like Christa serve as an essential reminder of humankind’s potential for goodness and beauty. Sadly though, in this case Christa’s greatest virtue, her kindness, becomes her greatest flaw, blinding her to Ymir’s treachery and leaving her vulnerable to manipulation by more cunning and callous people. AOT understands that kindness shouldn’t be applied unconditionally, lest it prop up the actions of those actively working to undermine humanity.

Thank god Christa has other friends to support her and offer her some much-needed perspective on this whole mess. Whilst fighting side by side with Ymir, Christa is suddenly whisked away by Connie and Sasha. When Christa tries to explain why they need to let her run away with Ymir, Connie and Sasha are immediately suspicious, stating outright that Ymir is almost certainly lying.

Connie and Sasha, as two neutral parties, force Christa to see the logical inconsistencies in Ymir’s story. If Ymir literally risked her life, not even 1 day ago, to save Christa, why would a fear of death motivate her to endanger Christa? It just doesn’t add up.

I really love Christa as a character, but she is making a terrible decision and acting irrationally. Ymir and Christa’s connection is undeniably electric and all-encompassing but, evidently, it’s become harmful if they’re willing to sacrifice everything and everyone for each other. I’m thankful that we have Connie and Sasha here to call Christa out and basically say she’s stupid to her face. In this way, they are acting as a type of realistic and pragmatic buffer for Christa’s seemingly limitless idealism.

Christa is a crossroads, and the decision she makes here will decide who she will be as a person and what path she will take in her life. I hope, in the end, that Christa is able to make the right choice and grow from this experience, learning not to let blind love and unconditional loyalty dictate her actions. Ymir also faced such a crossroads, but it seems as if she’s made her choice already. Still, l hope Ymir can learn true selflessness and do the right thing for the one she loves.

Whether this will come to pass, well, I guess I’ll just have to wait till the next episode.

In the next part, we’re going to look at another unhealthy relationship, and think about Mikasa’s love for Eren! Links to the full series will be posted below.

Links Part 1: Why I Love this Show Part 3: Mikasa’s Co-dependency and Morality Part 4: Armin and Sacrifice Part 5: An Ode to the Ensemble

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swiftkick404 · 7 years

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AU: Ginny's memories of her First Year and her time with the diary horcrux are wiped. Things go a little differently because of this - especially as she resists the rule of Death Eaters in Hogwarts in her Sixth Year :) [WIP five chapters 30k words]

the second splinter

chapter five: the condemned and the conspiring

o o o

silent knife, unholy knife

o o o

Ginny shared her room in Number Twelve Grimmauld Place with Hermione, and for most of the summer that had been a perfectly fine arrangement.

It was less than ideal since their latest guest's arrival at the old house.

She stood outside her bedroom in a dark hallway and considered possible places to sleep that didn't also house her brother, Ron, and a very agitated Harry Potter.

From the other side of the door, Ginny could hear the three of them: Hermione trying to be placating, Ron attempting mumbled support, and Harry speaking quickly and lowly while he paced the room. He would hit the floorboard at the end of Ginny's bed and turn there, on the squeakiest spot, in his laps.

He was genuinely upset about You-Know-Who, and Ginny sympathised, really, she did, but she was also tired and frustrated. If the three of them couldn't bother to include her, then they should have at least had the decency to do their private conferences in Ron and Harry's room. She wanted her pyjamas and the squishy feather pillow with the soft cotton sheeting and she wanted to sleep.

She also wanted to be involved in their conversation but that wasn't going to happen.

Ginny gave the door a very perturbed look and turned for the staircase. There were lights on in the kitchen and she decided if she couldn't find a bed for the night, then company would have to suffice.

“Hey, Tonks,” she greeted the older woman as she dragged her feet into the kitchen.

“Wotcha!” Tonks grinned, her face pink and eyes a little glassy. Eying Ginny's frizzled state, she pointed out the obvious. “Sleep evading you?”

“Those three are holed up in my room. Didn't even invite me,” Ginny grouched.

Also at the table with Tonks was Sirius Black. Tonks had changed her hair to match his in colour, styled with one side long and the other buzzed, and the two could have been models on a rock album cover. Between them, furthering the rebel image, was the remaining third of a bottle of whiskey and a set of shot glasses.

Ginny took a seat with them and nodded to the alcohol. “Mum'll be after your heads for that.”

Sirius didn't often engage Ginny in conversation – they didn't ever have much reason to acknowledge the other in any specific manner – but he perked up at Ginny's warning. Smiling at her, he tapped his nose and winked. “Mum'll have to be awake to know any better.”

“Molly's finally worried herself to sleep,” Tonks said, shaking her head. “I haven't seen someone drop like that in a long time.”

Ginny was surprised. Her mother had been a ball of terrible energy for the entirety of the summer holiday and Ginny had sort of expected her to shun sleep until “the kids” were at least back at school.

“She really needed it,” Ginny murmured. Her gaze landed determinedly on the whiskey.

Sirius noticed and set his chair forward from where he had been sitting on its hind legs. Inclining his chin at the bottle, he asked, “interested?”

“No, no, not a good idea –” Tonks slapped away Sirius' sneaking hand. “Sorry, Gin.”

Ginny shared Sirius' devastated, open-mouthed stare of utter betrayal. She pointed out, aghast, “Tonks, you're supposed to be the fun one.”

“Don't the two of you team up. That's not fair!”

“Shit, what does a kid have to go through these days to earn a little whiskey.” Sirius was smiling, but it was a strange face he made. Bitter and disbelieving. “Fer cryin' out, Tonks, she's had just as much madness going on in her head as Harry –”

Ginny nodded, but didn't exactly understand his meaning. It sounded like a good argument.

“Totally mad,” she agreed.

Tonks' face went noticeably whiter and her eyes flickered, alarmed, over Ginny and back to Sirius. She said with a thin lip, “that's enough, Sirius.”

It took a moment for the warning to hit for Sirius. “Oh! Fuck – right. Shit, I meant – I meant –”

Understanding she was missing something important shared between the two, Ginny dropped her playful sadness and frowned. “What? What is it? What are you talking about?”

Because it usually went as such, Ginny thought they were talking about Harry. Another terrible thing had happened and he was worse off than before. Something more than the scar aches, perhaps?

“We're all dealing with the You-Know-Who stuff, innit?” She said. Insisting, “I could use whiskey. I've had it before. Charlie thinks he's good at hiding his stash.”

“Right, right,” Sirius said. He reached for the bottle and glasses again, tapped one with his wand so that it replicated itself, and handed one of the pair to Tonks and the third to Ginny. Easing his cousin's apprehension, he promised, “she'll just take a sip.”

Ginny held up two fingers close together. “Little sip.”

“She'll probably not even like it.”

“I'll hate it, I promise.”

Sirius whispered, quite audibly, “she's weak, now, Ginny. She's three under already.”

The two of them, a pair of tricksters, snickered as Tonks dragged a hand down her face and haggardly waved the other one for Sirius to pour a round. She grumbled about how they were very barbaric to strong arm her in such a way.

Ginny asked Sirius, who sat with easy composure, “have you really had three shots?”

He did whisper then, “actually this is her fifth and I've stopped at my first.”

“Cruel man.”

“I have a reputation to maintain, but hell, I'm not in my twenties any more.” He made a very big show of disappointment to hide his remorse.

“Stop your conspiring, the lot of you,” Tonks said, straightening her posture and becoming very determined. Lifting her glass, she solemnly called, “cheers,” and drained her shot.

Across from her, Sirius tipped his glass back, his mouth closed, and Ginny watched the whiskey reappear in the bottle. She swirled her own serving and put back the spoonful amount. Only enough to burn her lips and tongue and trickle down her throat in a hot, buzzing line. Ginny kept her features neutral; it really wasn't a taste she loved.

Tonks dropped her head to the table, groaning. “I've made so many bad decisions in my life to lead me to this moment.”

Sirius breathed out a shallow laugh.

“She'll be alright,” he assured Ginny. He held a finger to his mouth and poured another bit of whiskey into her glass. “Life is short.”

She didn't drink it right away, and instead slid the glass between her hands while trying to keep the drink from spilling over. She tucked a leg under her and rested her head on the other, raised tight to her chest. Sirius seemed content to sit and listen to Tonks' increasingly less coherent mumblings.

The kitchen was quiet but for the soft sound of snoring by the time Ginny got around to draining her second “shot.” More tingling at her lips.

“Don't care for it,” she said honestly. “When it's this hot out, the drink makes it worse.”

Sirius made a non-committal type of noise. He didn't seem to mind the warmth.

She asked then, because the question had been bugging her, and because she sensed a vulnerability in his front, “why would I be mad?”

They might have been talking about Harry earlier, but Sirius had said she, Ginny Weasley, had just as much madness in her head. Not just everyone was dealing with the resurgence of You-Know-Who, but her in particular.

Ginny watched Sirius tense slightly, a stiffness entering his shoulders and jaw. He liked to hold an aura of carefree fun – especially around Harry and her siblings – but he had tells and he hadn't quite remembered how to hide them. His shadowed eyes slid from watching Tonks to meet Ginny's patient, inquisitive stare. He winced at something he saw in her face.

“What?” She wondered, a little wounded by the reaction.

He didn't want to answer her – and he didn't answer her, not really.

“You said I was a cruel man?” The rhetorical statement hung between them, threatening to fall and end their odd and rare conversation. Then Sirius sighed and rubbed at his temples. Gravely, “I wouldn't have done that, though.”

She pinched her mouth at one corner, but let him talk at his own pace.

“Listen, Ginny, I'm all for keeping the whole of you informed. I've seen what happens when information is withheld from the right people. I know that,” he told her, his tone apologetic. Abstractly, “I don't like it. I don't.”

Shaking her head in confusion, she admitted she still didn't understand.

Sirius pushed his chair back, fidgeting, then pulled it again to the table to lean over to her. “They would prefer not to talk about what happened, Ginny. They would prefer it didn't happen at all.”

His closeness was unnerving, and his rambling meaningless to her, but Ginny felt an unexplained thrumming of excitement down her middle. She chewed her numb lip and waited with a breath trapped in her lungs for him to say something more.

“What happened?” She asked after Sirius considered her for too long a moment.

Her voice seemed to rouse him from his thoughts and the man retreated to his seat, went back to balancing on its legs. Looking away, all he he said was, “we've all seen it, Ginny.”

And she liked how he said her name, like he meant it. He said it like she wasn't a simple child fumbling around adults. But he also said it in a way that recognised a weariness in her she didn't see herself.

She watched his gaze become too distant for the tiny kitchen of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place.

“We've all been there,” Sirius said. “We've all seen the darkness. You're not alone.”

He might have been attempting to reassure her, but Ginny felt a hollow ache in her middle at his words.

#harry potter fanfiction #Ginny Weasley #Sirius Black #Nymphadora Tonks #harry potter au #one of my fics has 2100 reviews and this one has 16.... what has gone wrong in my life....

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