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xcrystalzero · 3 years

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all the things i believed

pairing: xiao x reader

summary: you've only seen the boy who lives in the apartment one over from yours a few times, but you knew the look of someone who wanted to seem intimidating when you saw one. so, why was his music taste so adorable?

alternatively, xiao thinks that the apartment walls are a lot thicker than they actually are and accidentally exposes the fact that he's not nearly as angsty as he wants everyone to believe.

note: soft xiao makes me way too happy. also, here is xiao's playlist! i recommend listening while you read :) if you guys like it, i'll make playlists for my fics more often!

"I'll miss you!" Your roommate had her arms wound tightly around your torso and it didn't seem like she planned on letting go any time soon. She was also squeezing just a tad too hard and it was starting to hurt.

Gingerly, you patted her on the shoulder, subtly attempting to pry her off of you with your other hand. "I'll miss you too... But remember, it's only two weeks and then you're back!"

That only served to make her pout even more as she finally pulled away "Two weeks is so long though! How am I going to survive without you and your brownies?"

"Hah, so you're really only worried about not having brownies huh?"

"You know that's not what I meant!" she whined, causing you to giggle slightly. Honestly though, there was no way anyone watching could possibly think that she would only be gone for two weeks. Your roommate had decided that she needed three full suitcases and the world's largest carry-on purse for her little trip, and you were honestly a little worried about it.

"Ahem..." Your bonding moment was promptly interrupted by a soft but very present voice directly behind you. Whirling around, you came face to face with a vaguely familiar figure.

It was the golden eyes that caught your attention first. Even in the strange fluorescent light of the hallway, they almost seemed to have a light of their own, a hypnotizing sort of gleam that you couldn't bring yourself to look away from. Of course, the rest of him was no less than stunning either. Dressed head to toe in black with his angular features and lean build, he was striking.

His eyes widened slightly as you turned towards him though they settled fairly quickly back into what you could only assume was his trademark glare.

"Just... trying to get through." His voice was gruff, but much softer than you had anticipated. Perhaps even gentle?

Oh yeah, that was how you knew him! Your schedules must have been somewhat similar since you were sure you passed him at least a few times a week. You had never talked but you were pretty sure you had seen him going into the unit one over from yours quite a few times.

So this was your neighbor huh? He was cute, if a little intimidating.

"Oh sorry!" your roommate chimed in. "We were just leaving, we'll get out of your way!" She began to scoot her bags to the side and you quickly joined in, wheeling one of the suitcases to the side, though you couldn't seem to keep your eyes off of the guy. Every time you looked away, it was as though your gaze was drawn back towards him by some unnatural force.

It helped that he seemed just as awkward with the whole thing as you did, alternating glancing between the you and your roommate, the floor, and his phone. As soon as there was enough space for him to squeeze by, he did, mumbling a quick thanks as he made his way down the hall, unlocking his door and disappearing into his apartment in what felt like a second.

After a moment of silence, your roommate piped up again. "He's cute!"

"He can probably still hear you!" you whacked her across the shoulder, causing her to pout in your direction again, though the teasing look never left her eyes.

"He's kind of your type too isn't he?" she all-but waggled her eyebrows in your direction to which you rolled your eyes.

"Aren't you already late for your flight"

"Oh shit!"

~~~

The apartment felt so strange when you were alone. Usually around this time of night, your roommate would have come banging on your door to join her for her late night rom-com marathon or to help her chose an outfit or the party she was going to. Tonight however, everything was quiet.

With a sigh, you slumped over onto your bed, scrolling aimlessly through your phone in hopes of finding some sort of entertainment.

That was when you heard it. The soft sound of an instrumental through the wall, slowly building in volume as you assumed whoever lived in that room turned up the volume.

"40 days and 40 nights... I waited for a girl like you to come and save my life..."

Aww cute, love songs! Had you been busy or doing literally anything else, you might have been annoyed, or at least a little worried about exactly how loud they had to be playing their music for you to be able to hear it. As things stood though, it was a welcome distraction.

"You were out of my league, all the things I believed, you were just the right kind yeah you were more than just a dream..."

Oh yeah, you knew this song too! There was a sort of second timbre to the sound and you wondered if the person playing the music was singing along as well.

Wait, who was playing that music. Judging by the sound, it was likely the unit one to your left where their wall joined with yours. The unit one to your left...

Multi-colored hair and golden eyes... The cute guy? Pulling yourself immediately up into a sitting position, you pressed yourself to the wall before immediately realizing how crazy you were acting.

He was just playing music, that wasn't anything weird.

"Romeo take me, somewhere we can be alone..."

Taylor Swift. He was playing Taylor Swift. At that, you started laughing. Wow, appearances really could be deceiving huh? You sighed as you leaned with your back against the wall, letting the vibrations from the music soak into your very being.

You were sure that you'd heard music coming from that unit before but he wasn't usually loud at all. Maybe something was different today? Maybe you'd ask him when you next saw him. And maybe, he'd actually want to talk to you when you did.

Or maybe not.

So for now, you let your head rest against the wall, letting the music and soft singing lull you into relaxation.

~~~

That was it, you despised public transportation. All you wanted was to get out of your apartment for one day and take your work to a nearby cafe. So of course, when you ran outside to catch the bus that came once every hour, the bus driver looked you straight in the eye as he closed the door right in front of you and drove off. And then for good measure, it started raining.

You sighed, burying your face in the backpack on your lap. If the bus app was right, which it rarely was, there was another bus you could take arriving in the next few minutes, so maybe this wouldn't be as awful as you thought.

The sound of footsteps entering the little bus stop booth got your mind off of your moping as you raised your head just enough to peer over at who it was that had just joined you.

Oh. Standing there, hood pulled up over his multi-toned hair and seemingly permanent scowl fixed on his lips, was your hot neighbor. Your hot neighbor with very interesting music taste if last night told you anything.

Since nothing could go right for you, the moment that you looked at him, he looked at you, meaning the two of you got to share a few agonizing seconds of awkward eye contact before he pointedly turned away with a soft "tsk". That being said, you were sure that you weren't imagining the slight tinge of shock you had seen in his gaze for a moment.

"You've got good timing, there's one coming in like 5 minutes." You had no idea how you had managed to get the words out without stuttering or blushing the moment he turned back to look at you.

"That's good..." Yup, that was an expected response, and yet, you really just wanted him to keep talking. So this was the end of your story with the gorgeous emo boy next door. Relegated to exchanging conversation about public transportation and nothing more. It was really the wasted potential here that was killing you. So many cute interactions that would just never happen. Ah if only the bus would come so that you wouldn't have to wallow in your despair any longer.

"I... thought you were leaving yesterday?"

Oh? You whirled around way too quickly to face the man, causing his eyes to widen as he shifted away instinctually.

"Oh, I was just helping my roommate move all of her stuff," you managed to get out, summoning what you hoped was a non-nervous smile to your lips.

"Those were all her bags?" he seemed horrified, enough so that you couldn't hold back your laughter.

"I said the same thing! She's kind of insane sometimes but I love her..." Well, it was no or never. "I'm [name] by the way!" You smiled and extended a hand out towards the boy.

He regarded you for a moment with a look you couldn't put into words. After what felt like an eternity however, he gently took your hand in his own, holding it for barely a moment before pulling back again. "Xiao."

Xiao. There was a strange sense of relief that came with this new knowledge. Know that you knew his name, was it couth to ask him what his favorite Taylor Swift song was? Probably not. But there was a chance that you might literally never be able to talk to him again... Meh, it was as you were thinking before right? Now or never.

"Hi Xiao. I liked your playlist last night by the way." The words came out more effortlessly than you had thought they would, carefree and teasing.

You were a little bit surprised though when you glanced back over at Xiao, only to find him eyes blown wide as a deep red spread quickly across his cheeks. "Y-You!"

"Honestly a pretty good curation! If a little unexpected..." You had no idea what it was about this guy but he really brought the snarky, teasing part of you out. Maybe it was the fact that while he usually looked cold and intimidating, blushing, embarrassed Xiao was strangely adorable.

"I thought you left!" Xiao blurted out. "I mean... There were so many bags... And your roommate said that you guys were leaving..."

You stared blankly at him for a moment before immediately dissolving into peals of laughter. Xiao had the gall to pretend to be offended for a moment before he looked away with a soft huff. "What..."

"You know, I kind of thought you were scary at first," you managed between giggles. "I guess not though!"

"Ugh, you're insufferable." Xiao rolled his eyes though you were sure that you saw the slightest hint of a smile as he did. "Why were you listening through the walls anyway?"

"Xiao, it was literally so loud."

"It wasn't that bad!"

"And I think I heard some singing too! Say, you in a band? Do you guys usually just write love songs?"

"I was not singing!"

There was a strange warmth in your chest as the two of you went back and forth. So things could go right for you after all?

~~~

Sadly, you and Xiao hadn't been going the same way, so when his bus came - before yours you might add - the two of you had parted ways. The sun had been going down when you made your way back home, satisfied with a productive day, though the memory of your conversation with Xiao was still taking up a lot more headspace than you would have liked.

So this is what it was like to simp for a guy? You weren't sure you liked it.

Setting down the takeout you had picked up on the counter, you crashed onto your living room couch with a low groan. Sleep would be nice right about now, but also, you had to eat and shower and clean...

"I wonder what Xiao's doing?" The thought appeared in your head suddenly and you almost smacked yourself right then and there. Why were you always thinking about him? You'd literally spoken to the guy once, and it wasn't anything special! Just some teasing and his little retorts... And his cute blush... And his little smile... And the way he pretended to be annoyed when he was clearly enjoying it... Wow, this was worse than you thought.

"CAN YOU FEEL MY HEART?"

You yelped, jumping up in your seat at the sudden noise, coming once again from the wall separating you and Xiao's units. You paused for a moment but before you could stop yourself, you were back up on your feet, making your way over and banging against the wall.

"You're not fooling anyone Xiao!" you yelled, not sure if he could even hear you. Apparently he could since the music stopped as quickly as it had started. There was a moment of silence as you pressed your ear to the wall, waiting for his next move. What you did not expect was to hear sound in the other direction. A knock on your door.

Confused, you made your way over, unlocking the door and pulling it open to reveal, Xiao? He was still wearing his giant black hoodie, though the glare was missing.

"Did you run out of sugar or something? Or fake angsty songs to play?" you questioned with a grin.

As expected, he let out a soft huff, turning his head away in fake exasperation. "You're a menace."

"So what I'm hearing is that you want me to send in a noise complaint!"

"You idiot... I'm just here to-" For whatever reason, he was blushing again.

"Here to?" you prompted, wondering if you should invite him in or offer him water or something. He was tugging at the collar of his hoodie too...

"J-Just here to say that if you're going to sit there listening through the walls, you might as well just come over..."

Did you hear that right? You stared at him for a moment longer, blinking slowly. This was probably a dream right? You were so tired when you got home that you fell asleep and now you were dreaming.

"I mean, you don't have to if you don't want to..." Or maybe not.

"You know, normal people just invite people over without pretending to be edgy right?"

"Shut it, are you coming or not?"

"Yeah yeah I'm coming. Oh yeah, I got takeout, I'll bring it. It's from that new place down the street, Wangshu Inn. Have you ever had Almond Tofu before?"

"... you're unbelievable."

note: i want a hot neighbor like xiao... i did have a hot neighbor who i did hit on, but then i found out that he had a girlfriend so i stopped... but xiao would be better.

#genshin impact #genshin impact fic #genshin impact au #genshin au #modern au #xiao #xiao genshin impact #xiao x reader #xiao genshin x reader #alatus

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logically-asexual · 3 years

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okay i'm already procrastinating and i don't plan on sleeping any time soon so here we go.

☆ ✩ my personal ranking for every season 1 Sanders Sides episode. ✩ ☆

i think it's going to be pretty similar to @dukeofonions' but let's see if i find something new to contribute haha. i see you didn't include that one about Patton in the Big Game or whatever, so i'm not including it either xd. also i think i'm going to count Accepting Anxiety as one episode only.

edit: i finished and now i dare you to drink a shot of water every time i say the word spanish or a version of the word comfort and become very well hydrated.

#16 I'm in a Disney Show

(i agree with dukeofonions here) i always forget this episode exists. it was ok in terms of being happy for real life Thomas but as a Sanders Sides episode it didn't do anything. the sides were just giving their opinions but it wasn't very funny or interesting. also i'm bitter because it made me look up the episode he was in and i didn't like it at all. i don't know if i'm too old for those Disney shows now but Thomas was literally the only good part of it, everything else was really dull and boring imo. a waste of time.

however, Logan supporting clickbait is one of the funniest things ever, and i'll never forget it.

#15 Becoming A Cartoon

i didn't hate this episode but it was just .. meh.. you know? several factors contribute to this. one, i couldn't feel much nostalgia for Butch Hartman's shows because i watched them in Spanish, and everything feels really weird when they speak English, i don't like how my old cartoons sound in English. two, it was disappointing to me because we were all desperately waiting for Plot™ and instead they give us this short episode about nothing (oh how the tables have turned now it's the other way around haha). and three, i didn't like the style of the animation :/ their faces and expressions freaked me out, Roman's douchey face still haunts me.

#14 Way Too Adult

here i'm biased because i don't like Patton much, and i didn't back when i watched the series the first time either, so this video was a little disappointingwithout the rest. also it wasn't relatable to me because i am still too young and dependent on my parents haha. but Patton is funny and it's funny to laugh at Thomas' struggling.

#13 The Dark Side of Disney

i've never been a fan of Disney movies. i actually never watched Mulan or the Lion King or Aladdin as a kid, so meh. i liked the ending, though, it was cool to see Virgil have fun and be right for once. it does make me a bit uncomfortable because the way Thomas tries too hard with Virgil's mouth movements and his low voice reminds me of a guy that had made me v uncomfortable not long before watching that video. so an icky feel overall.

#12 A New Year of Lying to Myself

this video was actually kind of fogettable to me. i had a hard time connecting the voices in the song to the characters and idk. i don't love it nor hate it, just .. neutral.

#11 My True Identity

pretty much the same opinion as dukeofonions, again. it's a good introduction and it's good that it was the beginning of it all but on its own it's not very special. i think it's awesome on Thomas to have come up with such a clever idea, like choosing the dad, the teacher and the prince and putting them together and match them with thoughts?? that fit so perfectly?? it really is just very impressive when you think about it, that it was just a random idea he had for a short 5 minute video.

#10 Taking on Anxiety

i liked this video a lot because when i watched it i had recently been a lot on tumblr, and found out through relatable posts that i had anxiety. so watching this video was really fun and it made me happy to feel so seen, specially the intro when Thomas just talks about what it's like to have Anxiety and Virgil is so smug about it.

- ★ -

okay now that those are out of the way things are going to get hard... all the following i love with all my heart so i'm going to rank them based on the smallest things.

#9 Growing Up

once more, Patton isn't my favorite. so that's why i'm putting this here, plus the echo at the end askjhsahg, but i love love this video. i remember we were waiting and oh so ready for the angst of nobody taking Patton seriously. and we received!! i love that though Roman and Logan are antagonists here, they're both so happy about Thomas wanting to have a healthy life. and i just adore the way Logan admits his mistake at the end and asks Patton directly. my heart... also aw.. the nostalgia. i remember none of us knew how to spell Patton's name and were writing it in very funny ways until Thomas and Joan told us lol.

#8 The Mind vs The Heart

when i watched this video the first times i didn't like it much, because i only had eyes for Virgil, but later i came back to it and loved it. so taking that into account i'm putting it here. logicality was the first ship i ever shipped in the show because i saw a gifset on tumblr of Patton screaming "what do you know about love?!" and Logan "apparently more than YOU" and the caption said "MARRIED", and i thought hey yeah... anyway. i love them. they're both my dads since that day.

this video is so so so relatable and i love it. Logan and Patton are so much fun arguing and i love how they compromise at the end and work together. im reconsidering.. i might move it higher? no, fine i'll leave it here.

#7 Making Some Changes

this video was absolutely hilarious. i personally couldn't see it as the Sides still once they were acted by Thomas' friends, i enjoyed it more as that bunch being silly and trying to be the sides but failing in so many ways, while sometimes nailing stuff suddenly. i really don't take this one too seriously as an episode. except Joan!Logan and Valerie!Logan, my beloved... i love how Joan acted as Logan and their voice and that they kept their ace ring on.. there's a reason i had them as my icon for so long. and Valerie looks a bit (a lot) like me with the glasses and dressed in dark colors, plus she spoke Spanish and there's .. no words to describe the joy i felt when seeing/hearing that. wait i'm getting emotional...

#6 My Personality Q&A

when i watched this Virgil was my favorite side and i didn't care much about the rest lol. when i heard his answers i related to him SO much it was scary, and also his voice is so soft and it was all very comforting. it was also when i first starting looking at Logan with more attention, because when he brought up Big Hero 6 and Fall Out Boy and said he didn't sing and would recite it like a poem? it only took a couple seconds but my brain said "me" and never went back.

now this video is a little underwhelming to watch for me, most of the appeal for me was in finding out the answers, and also watching it when we didn't know a lot about the sides. now we know more and want to know more so it's not as fun to me as it was first.

i wish so bad they'd do another one, although i know it would be more difficult with a much bigger audience, i think they can manage and i just need it. the chaos.. the energy.. they all being so savage with each other, learning little random facts about them you didn't expect.. i need it.

- ★ -

oh boy top 5 here we go. the next three are practically a tie. i can't choose.

#5 Alone on Valentines Day

i love Valerie, and the idea of this video was perfect and so perfectly excecuted. every side just giving their crazy opinions on how to woo a random stranger, i laughed SO much. first with Logan speaking simlish out of nowhere? at that point i didn't know practically anything about the sims except that it was some video game and the whiplash of Logan going AYO and the rest killed me. then when Roman whipped out that dialogue in Spanish??? my life was completed. i've never felt more happy than i did in that moment gosh. just the hilarity of Roman's drama, the shock of them speaking Spanish suddenly like that, the absolute JOY of seeing a creator i like speak (may i say) perfect Spanish, the other characters' faces after that.. never been happier.

also the conclusion was so cute. Virgil solving the whole problem without wanting to. i loved it.

#4 Am I Original

i think this video speaks for itself. it was fun to watch them all do the ideas Roman had, plus Logan and Virgil nodding at each other, (i love them so much), plus the angst at the end of Roman's perfectionism, plus Roman's just perfect name. this video has it all.

i think Thomas posted it kind of late at night and i watched it at 7am in the classroom as i waited for my classmates to arrive and the class to start. (i usually was like 40 minutes early to school due to mom’s work). i had to contain my laughter and it wasn’t easy.

#3 Losing My Motivation

i started loving this video after a while, when Logan passed Virgil in the position for my favorite side. but once he did this episode was beautiful. it's so funny and i love Logan and Patton's dynamic so much. and the video also so damn relatable in general. i felt so seen with it because they named all the problems i have when procrastinating, down to Patton's vague explanation of his feelings, it's exactly how i feel every time i want to do stuff. and the plot twist! i can hear the dramatic sound effect and see how they all turn to Logan clearly in my head, and it always makes me smile. plus there's so much Logan angst that can be dug up and overanalized. i love to watch it over and over.

#2 Accepting Anxiety

this video was perfect. everything we wanted. we knew it was coming and it delivered perfectly, better than any fanfic done in the waiting time. the week between the parts was agonizing but in a fun way somehow. i remember precisely when i was watching part 2 in my living room. i screamed. and i cried, a lot. i was feeling terrible at that time in my life and Thomas was such a comforting presence and i can't begin to describe how this episode made me feel.

and later it is always fun to rewatch with all their different reactions to being in Virgil's room, the energy of that was on point. Thomas is such a great actor and the characters where just amazingly performed. plus it gave so much to talk adn think about, the idea of the rooms, lots lots of insight into the characters, foreshadowing, so much. it's just perfect i have nothing else to say.

#1 (for purely emotional reasons, ironically) My Negative Thinking

i think Accepting Anxiety is the best episode of the season objectively but my favorite is My Negative Thinking. because i love Virgil and Logan so much and seeing them argue together was and is great. the comfort.. i can't repeat that word enough throughout this post. it's such a soft video while not being overwhelming with Patton and Roman's outbursts. just quiet (mostly) and clear and with perfectly timed humour.

Logan my beloved.. learning spanish... helping me with my own anxiety.. and their debate was so good. and the fact that they were friends i- i can't. Virgil didn't think Logan liked him and Logan told him explicitly that he did and the casual softness of it i cant even. Logan is happy that he tried.. it's just marvelous. Virgil and Logan as best friends will always be my favorite pair, and their dynamic will always be what i strive for in any relationship i might form, with both sides silently comforting each other within their own limits and realistic perspectives. so nice.

- ★ -

so yeah. that's all. thank you if you read all the way up to here. ♡ ♡ ♡

#sanders sides #thomas sanders #logan sanders #virgil sanders #patton sanders #roman sanders

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glittercracker · 4 years

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Kingkiller Crap

So, I’ve never really posted much here that involves my own thoughts. There are a number of reasons why, but whatever. I feel the need NOW to post some thoughts, and having no working independent blog (yet!) I suppose this is the place to dump them. PSA: none of this is about anime. None of this is frivolous or fun. TW for sexual abuse. You have been warned! So. I’ve been rereading the Kingkiller Chronicles. aka “Name of the Wind” and “The Wise Man’s Fear” and “That Other One That Shall Not Be Named.” This reread was, at the beginning, almost an afterthought. A way to keep my 13 yo happy on a 7 hour car ride. Except, he could not have cared less, and I got sucked back into the story (and okay, if that is how all our audiobook car rides go, meh? At least it keeps me sharp!) I raced through book one, and bought book 2 on audible with an eye to my upcoming surgery and recooperation. Book one was problematic in the places I remembered, but also as generally engaging as I remembered. And then book 2 happened, and surgery happened, and I have had weeks to lie in bed listening to this bloody interminable sequel, and I find myself lost in a morass of, “WTF was I ever THINKING?” Namely, how did I ever love this book enough to pine for the next? It’s been hard to put a finger on exactly what is making this time through book 2 both a slog and also vaguely, creepily uncomfortable, but if you’re interested, my rather stream-of-consciousness ramble of thoughts ensues. First, the male gaze that rears its head at times in book 1 predominates here. But while I don’t love the way Kvothe describes women, I also have 2 degrees in literature, and I’m beyond that being a reason not to read an otherwise engaging book. Second, Kvothe is a Gary Stu, for all of Rothfuss’s protestations to the contrary. Again, so far, so much traditional high fantasy. But while, say, Aragorn is content to just quietly be Awesome At Everything, Kvothe is a braggy little shit of a Gary Stu: the person you hated for announcing their perfect scores in that hs class you could never quite master. I could fill several pages with examples, but for some reason what really made me want to kick him in the head was not Felurian’s disbelief of his virginity (though really, jfc, REALLY?) Nope, it was the end of his time w the Ademrae (sp may be off, remember, I’m listening not reading!) when he crows about having learned the history of his sword 2 days earlier than expected. Why does this stick out? Oh, idk. Maybe bc he sucks so hard he can’t even get past the first obstacle in his practical final exam? Yet he still has to tell us how fucking awesome he is for remembering 6000 names of previous owners.

I know, I’m supposed to forgive his teenage idiocy. The internet sympathists (no pun intended!) keep telling me this. And I suppose that I would, IF this were a simple first-person narrative - but it isn’t. Let’s repeat that, and really think about it. This story is being narrated by an older and presumably wiser Kvothe who has lost everything - whose abilities have been expunged to the extent that he can’t open his own chest of Cool Stuff. He shows humility in his actions, mostly. And yet when discussing his 16 yo self, the humility evaporates, and he speaks with no kind of perspective or lens of accrued wisdom. He still compares women to instruments waiting for the “right” player (i.e. him) and defends this choice of words by saying, essentially, “You aren’t a musician, you don’t know!”

Interesting assumption for an innkeeper in a medieval-esque world. Interesting assumption if this is in fact authorial interjection, too, because I suspect the majority of this book’s audience *are* musicians to at least an extent, and I also suspect that the majority of us (yes, us - I own several beloved instruments, including a harp custom made for me as a wedding present from my husband) would not equate a human lover to even the most beloved of instruments.

But all of this is well-trodden critical ground. As far as I can tell, though, my third issue isn’t: although it’s perhaps the most glaringly tone-deaf example of all of Rothfuss’s excruciatingly tone-deaf portrayal of his world’s women. Namely, the two girls kidnapped and gang-raped by the fake Ruh.

Almost all of the criticism I’ve read on this section of TWMF concentrates on Kvothe’s treatment of the girls’ abusers. What’s interesting is that no one ever seems to write about Kvothe’s treatment of the girls themselves. Yes, he treats them kindly. He tends their wounds, he feeds them, he tries (and succeeds, of course) to draw Ellie out of her shocked stupor.

Yet what he never once does, from the moment he takes control of the situation, is ask their opinions on any of this, including what their next step should be. He just decides to bring them back to their families - families who, in this type of society, might well disown them for being “ruined”. And the girls themselves, namely the intelligent and savvy Krin, seem to go blindly along with what he says. Why? Would Krin at least not question this, or object to his making decisions for her, when a group of men had so recently and brutally taken away all of her agency? Would she not question whether being brought back to her family is the best thing for the catatonic Ellie?

Okay, apparently not. So they return to their apparently very forgiving town. Kvothe stands up for the girls against the village shithead: thank you, Kvothe, bc I’m sure Krin could not have said those words herself. He assures the reader that they are with people who will love and care for them despite what has happened to them: thank you, Kvothe, though it’s stretching my credulity a bit that you would assume that no one will take issue with their deflowering. But then he “gifts” the girls the spoils of his slaughter: the horses, the valuables, the wagons. And I was about to give him a (grudging) pass for being decent about this, EXCEPT: he goes on to say that these goods are meant for the girls’ dowries. Specifically, to make them worth enough financially for potential husbands to overlook their loss of virginity. He even tells Krin not to settle for a less-than-lucrative marriage.

And suddenly, I was outraged. Why? Because a man who had witnessed the full extend of these women’s abuse brought them back to a backwater town believing that he was being magnanimous both in doing so, and in giving up whatever share he might have taken of the spoils of the debacle to make them financially lucrative marriage prospects. Because he never asked these traumatized girls if they might rather cut and run with the money than use it to make some man overlook their abuse in order to make them his property. He never even questions the idea that they will be grateful to submit to marriage contracts that will no doubt require them to have sex with their husbands, even though these women have been abused to the extent that they cannot sit a horse for *two days* after being rescued. And the worst part is that 20-something frame-story Kvothe doesn’t question this either; he just goes on to gloat about people singing songs about his daring rescue. Maybe I was just ready for a straw to break my benefit of the doubt. Or maybe this really is as outrageous as it feels. Either way, I can’t help being angry at Rothfuss. As a writer, I am very well aware that character and author are not the same thing; that authorial intent is not the same as authorial beliefs. But there are moments in some books when I have to wonder if that line is blurring, and this is one of them. Kvothe has literally JUST left a female-dominated country full of independent women happily doing their own thing. He has given these girls the means to find themselves a situation that will never require them to be beholden to a man again - even houses ffs, in the shape of those 2 wagons, should they want them. There are so many options beyond marriage: I can’t, for instance, think of a medieval society that didn’t have its version of a convent. Or, for Krin at least, why not the University? For that matter, why not marry her himself, and then set her free to do as she likes under the awning of a respectable marriage?

Instead he returns them to their fathers, and likewise gives their fathers the means to marry them off with no argument. Who, after all, holds the reins of the horses at the end? Why does Kvothe assume that these families will actually use the wealth even in the dubious way that he recommends?

And in this, I think, I am justified in giving Rothfuss the stink-eye. This is one more instance for Kvothe to play the hero with no real attention given to the consequences. Kvothe himself, I think, would be appalled. He has suffered so much deprivation in his life, so often been marginalized, scapegoated, powerless, how on earth could he so easily consign others to that fate? How could he think, loving Denna as he does, having heard her words to the beaten girl in Severin, that buying these girls husbands who will “overlook” their abuse for the sake of wealth is anything but a wretched life sentence for them?

Sigh. There was a time when I desperate awaited book three. Now, given the other women’s lives at stake in this series, I’m not so sure I want to know.

#kingkiller chronicle #kvothe #patrick rothfuss #wise man's fear #Kingkiller chronicles sexism #kvothe gary stu #kkc sexism

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unibrowzz · 4 years

Text

My 2020 reviews

All the cool kids were doing these so now I finally dragged my ass into doing them too lmao.

Albania- Fall from the Sky

A song I swear cursed this whole contest from the moment it won Festivali i Këngës. Like with the shitshow this song caused I just knew the whole year was fucked. With half the fandom whining they didn’t get their first club song of the year to the other half smugly shoving it as their winner despite no other songs being around to compare it to, the whole fiasco just left me knowing that 2020 would end in tears, just hopefully not my own. As for the song, it’s lame. It’s a standard ballad with OBSCENE amounts of autotune, which is weird because the girl can actually sing pretty decently without it, so why they decided to make her sound like a damn computer is beyond me. And WHY did they translate it, haven't the past few years proven that Albania's better off leaving their songs in Albanian?

Armenia- Chains on You

A bootleg Ariana Grande song, and a really shit one at that. The kind of song only people who think being young, gay and mean counts as having a personality would say is good.

Australia- Don’t Break Me

One of the few decent Australian entries (but that REALLY isn’t saying much coming from me, I barely care they’re in the contest by this point) but marred by a horribly untidy performance and lacklustre lyrics. At least it’s not fucking pop-opera, that’s all I can say. I’d rather listen to the sound of my face being dragged down the runway at Heathrow airport than be subjected to another Zero Gravity.

Austria- Alive

One of those pseudo-jazz dance songs, á la Olly Murs or Bruno Mars (I swear there’s a song like this in every recent contest). I mean, it’s good, but it’s just kinda meh since I’m kinda getting tired of this genre rearing its fedora-wearing head every time a new lineup rolls in.

Azerbaijan- Cleopatra

One of the “better” trashy entries this year, comprised of about five different musical genres, six ancient cultures being appropriated and absolutely zero class. Probably sounds at least 50% better when you’re absolutely steaming drunk and face down on the floor in the middle of a gay bar.

Belarus- Da Vidna

Somehow, this song sounds both very unique and original yet trite and average at the same time. I couldn’t decide whether listening to it was a new experience or if I’d heard it a million times before.

Belgium- Release Me

A song which just drones on till it ends. I would say it’s ripping off the song that won last year, but it forgot that having a chorus stops your song from being three minutes of snooze.

Bulgaria- Tears Getting Sober

A typical breathy mumble-girl song, AKA a genre I can’t fucking stand. Really don’t see the hype with this one, the melody is pretty but the vocals are out for lunch and it’s otherwise completely and utterly boring.

Croatia- Divlji Vjetre

One of the token big dramatic ballads you listen to once, enjoy, then forget about until Darius in the Discord server plays it one night whilst you’re hitting up the radio bot with requests. You’ll find that “nice, but forgettable” is a common theme for this year.

Cyprus- Running

Ironically Cyprus didn’t send a crappy Fuego knockoff for 2020, and I say ironically because a crappy Fuego knockoff would’ve actually stood out this year, and I say crappy because honestly Fuego wasn’t even all that great to begin with. "Running” itself is just one of those edgy tortured soul pop songs which, let’s be honest, would have been paired with an impressive performance which would’ve overshadowed how bland it is. Kind of like “You’re the Only One”. Or even Fuego for that matter.

Czech Republic- Kemama

Standard Afro-pop, a genre we don't often see at the contest so I'll let it pass. I feel like this is the kind of song that’s infinitely better live, and that it would’ve been one of those songs that suddenly became a frontrunner after the semi finals, but I guess we’ll never know eh?

Denmark- Yes

The quintessential mid-10s Eurovision song. It's got guitars, happy people, Scandinavian origins… it’s just a typical radio guitar song, nothing special.

Estonia- What Love Is

I mean it's better than La Forza. Granted, the sound of someone pissing directly onto a microphone installed in the bowl of a toilet would sound better than La Forza but still. Going back to this song, it’s just... a standard Eastern-ballad with some very desperate lyrics. It feels kind of outdated, if I’m honest. Like something about this just reeks of 2011.

Finland- Looking Back

Yet another dreary, forgettable ballad. It comes to something when the best song they COULD have sent was a party song which sounded like it was from the mid 90s. At least that song was memorable. That said, this one at least has some decent lyrics. Bravo for that I guess.

France- Mon Alliée

France decides to say “fuck it” to being an underground fan-favourite and takes a leaf out of the UKs book by sending the same rent-a-Swede schlock they’ve been sending since 2015. I’m just confused as to why anyone in their right mind would choose to follow the UKs example but you do you France.

Germany- Violent Thing

A rehash of Sweden's entry from two years ago, but this time sung by Justin Bieber circa 2008. Kind of alright if you can stomach the singer's whiny voice, but otherwise pretty dull and kinda forgettable.

Greece- Superg!rl

Hello fellow kidz, we are hearing you like the girl power? The super heroes? The t3xt $p3ech? We made you song, please give us the votes *dabs*

Georgia- Take me as I Am

I mean… this sure is a choice. This feels like one of those songs that everyone memes on because the lyrics are kinda janky and the singer’s voice (and accent) take a bit of getting used to, but other than that it’s just one of those NQ songs for hipster fans to declare as their unironic winner at a later date. All in all this just feels like the male equivalent of one of those mid-10s fat acceptance women’s songs, only a lot shoutier and this time he has more flaws than not being skinny.

Iceland- Think About Things

A bootleg George Ezra song, performed by a load of disinterested tumblr users in their pyjamas. Because if there’s one thing that sells me on a song, it’s being given the evils by a bunch of nerds who look like they’ll send me death threats for not agreeing with their Pokémon headcanons. To be fair, the song is kind of groovy since it sounds so 70s, but the performance is very off-putting to people who aren’t in the Eurovision loop. And also people who are, because I sure as Hell don’t see the appeal in this myself and this whole performance just feels like Save Your Kisses for Me without the charm. I feel like this would’ve come second or third, definitely with a lot of televotes but either the jury would’ve dragged it down or it wouldn’t have scored enough televotes to win.

Ireland- Story of my Life

A song that’s at LEAST ten years out of date by this point, think like an early Katy Perry, Jessie J or Avril Lavigne song. I’ll forgive it because even though it sounds like it should’ve been entered in 2013 (at the latest), it at least evokes some nostalgic memories of shitty school discos and holiday parks.

Israel- Feker Libi

The female equivalent of the Czech song. Unsurprisingly, people went wild for it when it was released. I guess only women are allowed to sing Afro-pop at this contest. Like with the Czech song, I’ll forgive it since Afro-pop is a cool genre anyway, and even though this is just another club song I can at least see myself dancing to it.

Italy- Fai Rumore

Well, at least my wish of “Italy sends a typical power ballad devoid of anything the mainstream fandom likes” finally came true. It was pretty refreshing to have a year where people weren’t shoving Italy’s entry up my nose left right and centre. In terms of my actual thoughts I can’t deny that the guy has a tremendous voice, but for some reason the song just doesn’t… click with me. I guess I like my male Italian singers a little more gruff and raspy, if you know what I mean. They gotta sound like they smoke at LEAST five packets of cigarettes a day for me to take notice.

Malta- All of my Love

Listen I am 100% rooting for Destiny Chukunyere to win this contest some day but man was this song a disappointment. It feels so… un-special and generic, like it gets the job done and that’s it. It’s not the stand-up-and-belt-it-out soul anthem I’d hoped for, it’s just… there.

Moldova- Prison

All I remember about this song is that it vaguely reminds me of that one Meccano song about the gypsy who makes a deal with the moon or something. And I’ve TRIED to remember more about what it sounds like, trust me.

Latvia- Still Breathing

The one horrible weird song you get every year which overuses strobe effects to the point it comes with an epilepsy warning. Would be bearable if it wasn't for the singer’s insistence that this is actually some feminist masterpiece when it's really just a self-empowerment club song about the singer fingerbanging herself over the fact she writes music.

Lithuania- On Fire

One of the songs everyone thought was going to win at one point, even though it seems like a surefire non-qualifier to me. It’s one of those weird entries, but not the kind of over the top, batshit insane, you’d-have-to-be-drunk-to-enjoy-it weird, the kind of subdued surreal weird. Like this is weed instead of LSD or cocaine weird. Granted my mom, who I consider to be a "typical" Eurofan, actually really liked this song when she saw it in the recaps, so who knows maybe this would have done well with televoters after all.

Netherlands- Grow

I appreciate this song for how artsy and clever it is with its structure, since it starts off acapella and the instrumental builds up with the song until it stops suddenly, symbolising a person’s growth from a child into an adult, and ending suddenly with their death (Geddit? The song’s called “Grow”). But it feels like the kind of song that would be lost on a Eurovision audience. The juries would have taken note, for sure, but the televote… let’s be honest, they’d have been too busy drunk voting for Russia to care about anything else.

North Macedonia- You

Well, it's better than the miserable dirge they sent last year, but given how I'd rather pleasure myself with a steak knife than listen to that song, that really isn't saying much. Going back to “You”, it really just feels like a diet version of Switzerland’s entry from last year, combined with Sweden’s song from 2018. What I’m saying is it’s your average “I’m a man in a club and I want to dance with and probably fuck this hot girl I just met” song, which I a new genre I just made up. You’re welcome.

Norway- Attention

One of those songs you appreciate because it sounds nice and the singer has a good voice, but instantly forget because it’s really not all that interesting. If I sound like I'm repeating myself, welcome to Eurovision 2020.

Poland- Empires

“Rise Like a Phoenix” but sung by a wannabe Adele and not a mascara-wearing Jesus in a dress. Like a lot of other songs on this list, it’s just average across the board, likeable when it’s on, but instantly forgettable as soon as the next song comes on.

Portugal: Medo de Sentir

Pretty, but also similar to their ill-fated 2018 entry, only with a bit more energy and less pink hair. What I’m saying is this would have been another NQ unless the crowd who enjoy subtle ambience music come in to save it like they did with Slovenia's entry last year.

Romania- Alcohol You

See Bulgaria, because this is practically the same song. It’s just as dreary, just as badly sung (if not worse because holy shit this girl sounds like she’s being suffocated), and I suppose you COULD excuse that by saying she’s drunk or hungover… but I don’t want to listen to someone ungracefully mumble into a microphone for three minutes.

Russia- Uno

A classic big camp party song, the kind of song people who haven’t watched Eurovision since 2003 think wins on the regular. I can see why people would like it (especially in this boring year lmao, I applaud Russia for taking the opportunity to loosen their corset and just send a complete mess instead of their usual clinical vote grabs), but it’s just not something I enjoy. It's the song that plays into the misconception that Eurovision is just a clown show for drunk people, like this is just here to be that one flash-in-the-pan meme song that only entertains people who don’t really care about Eurovision until the day before it airs. Kind of like the old ladies they sent in 2012 (remember them?).

San Marino- Freaky!

San Marino, in true Sammarinese fashion, have yet again sent a decade-ambiguous song which sounds like it was either released in 1978 or 2003. I feel like this would have been one of those songs which could have surprised us if it had a really wacky, creative performance (think like Moldova in 2018), but this is San Marino so you know that would never happen.

Serbia- Hasta la Vista

Insert unoriginal joke about a decade wanting their shitty trend back right here. Okay maybe that’s a bit harsh, especially considering how this song is actually, yanno, unique in comparison to the rest of this year. But it still feels weirdly dated, in a way where I can’t decide whether it sounds like it belongs in 1998 or 2018. I suppose girl power ages a song regardless of when it was released.

Slovenia- Voda

Yet another standard Balkan-European power ballad which you appreciate because it’s well sung, but forget the moment it ends because it’s kinda boring. … Does anyone else have a bit of deja vu?

Spain- Universo

For some reason I feel like this song is shilling itself out to someone but I have no idea who. Aside from the horny people voting solely because the singer is moderately attractive even with that wretched Jedward haircut.

Sweden- Move

Imagine soul but… boring.

Switzerland- Répondez Moi

Imagine Arcade but… in French.

United Kingdom- My last Breath

Not the best the UK could have done, but it’s at least a modern offering unlike the residual dregs of the mid-90s that we sent throughout the 2010s. It’s definitely a bit too generic to have done any better than maybe 15th, but hey at least the cancellation means we won’t have to see it not do as well as the BBC thinks it’s entitled to do, prompting a billion clickbait articles about how Brexit somehow affected our performance.

Ukraine- Solovey

At long last we come to something you probably weren't expecting: a song I actually really like. Which is weird because I usually don't care for or don't like whatever Ukraine vomits into the contest, so I was pleasantly surprised to find a song I liked from them in such a weak year. This song isn’t for everyone, it’s white noise singing which is a very acquired taste, but this is honestly the only 2020 song I find myself coming back to over and over. And it’s in Ukrainian too, so you don’t have to put up with their usual mangled English offerings.

#and that conclude's the mods thoughts lmao #eurovision #if this is good i might do this with other years let me know what you think #mod speaks #mod reviews

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twoidiotwriters1 · 4 years

Text

Starcrossed Losers IX (Josh Wheeler xReader)

A/N: Friendship is cool but it gets you in a lot of trouble. Also, Happy Christmas’ Eve!!!

Words: 4,339

Warnings: Blood, cursing and weird outfits

Previous chapter // Next chapter

“Y/N, can I ask you a question without making you mad?”

“I don’t know Josh, you’ll have to ask me the question first”

“Why are you still wearing that?”

I look down at my clothes and laugh.

“I forgot,” I look at my reflection on the closest glass and examine the torn shirt that covers my body.

“So it wasn’t a fashion statement?” Asks Josh with a smirk.

“Sadly no,” I stand up and stretch my arms, yawning, “I think it’s time I get a new outfit.”

“You’re finally changing your resident evil cosplay?” Wesley walks by me, eyeing me up, Josh laughs.

“Don’t be mean,” I stick out my tongue, “I’d rock a resident evil cosplay”

“I don’t doubt it,” He raises his hands, “go nuts”

Wesley points towards the stores and I happily comply.

“You want us to go with you?” Josh raises his voice, following me with his eyes.

“I’ll be fine, you guys stay”

As I’m walking away I hear Wesley talking to Josh.

“We should practice our sword skills”

“Dude, yes!” Josh answers.

I chuckle lowly and head straight into my favorite store.

It’s been a while since I got new clothes for myself; being alone is okay I guess, but it’s nice to be able to calmly pick an outfit without worrying about being attacked.

I also get to pick something that will match my skates no matter what. You know when you have a specific favorite outfit that you wanna wear all the time but is not socially acceptable to do so cause then people will think you don’t shower? Well, now those rules don’t apply anymore cause everyone wears the same clothes all the time and it’s a known fact that we don’t shower.

With that in mind, I pick the stuff that makes me the happiest and put them on. When I look in the mirror I feel amazing, and I take it as a sign that I have finally found my outfit.

“Y/N, we prepared a whole obstacle course, come see it!”

“You wanna see my new outfit?” I ask excitedly from the changing rooms.

“Sure!” Josh replies, walking in, “Where are you?”

“Turn around and I’ll come out!” I drag the curtain and walk out towards him, I’m pleased to see he followed my instructions and is facing the entrance, “You can look now!”

He turns around and I show my outfit with my arms extended.

“So?”

“That’s a... are those short overalls?” He examines them carefully.

“Yes!” I smile wildly, “and a lime-green shirt. With fun socks,” I raise my eyebrows, “get it? so I can match the skates you gave me”

“That’s, uh...”

“You don’t like it,” I lowered my arms, frowning, “Why?”

“It’s not that!” He quickly counters, “it’s just... well, your arms and legs are exposed and we live surrounded by things that bite.”

“Yes, but I have a hammer,” I say sternly.

Josh stares at me.

“A hammer won’t protect you from a horde.”

“Fair,” I agree, “but it’s not just my hammer. I have two samurais on my side, right? Either way, Ghoulie bites aren’t that dangerous.”

“They are if they rip your arms off”

“You’re exaggerating. I’ll be fine,” I walk past him, “you gonna train with Wesley or no?”

“Yeah but-”

“Hey, are you guys coming or what?” Wesley screams from the main hall.

“Going!” I scream back.

I found a bunch of tables with a small piñata, a watermelon and god knows what else spread around the place in order to make training harder. Wesley lets out an exclamation of approval when he sees me.

“Now, that’s a hundred percent Y/N-brand. You look good, girl!”

“Thanks! I feel good,” I smile at him, then look over at Josh, “See? Wesley gets it”

“I never said I didn’t like it...” He grumbles.

“We can talk about our fashion sense later. First, we train,” Demands our friend.

“Who’s first?” I ask, leaning against a column far from the obstacle course.

“Let me show you how real warriors do it...”

Josh and I look at each other wondering what will Wesley do to try to impress us. When he kneels on the floor and bows to his sword, we have to look away so we don’t start laughing.

But don’t worry, our laughter dies as soon as he does the wildest moves ever, totally not humiliating us in every possible way.

When he fixes his posture and takes off his mask, he vaguely points towards the mess and then to Josh.

“So, clean this shit up and, uh, your turn,” He smiles.

“What?” Josh asks in pure outraged. I laugh and he looks at me with a bitter smile, “oh, don’t get so amused. You’re helping me.”

“What?” Now is my time to be scandalized, “Why?”

He shows me his injured hand and smirks.

“Cause I'm a disabled person in recovery.”

“I’m pretty sure that’s not how this works,” I frown, “but I’ll help you anyway, cause I don’t want you to cut another of your little fingers by accident”

“How nice of you,” He mocks.

It takes us about ten minutes to replace and arrange everything. When we’re done I sit next Wesley, arms crossed and a knowing smile on my face.

“Just do your best, Wheeler. Try not to fall over innocent people, please.”

“Very funny, L/N,” Josh sneers.

When it’s his turn to train, Josh does... his best. I managed to remain silent for most of it until he hits the mannequin and the only thing he cuts it’s the finger.

“Oh my god,” I cover my mouth and stifle most of my laughter. Wesley stands up and looks at the result.

“Wow, that is... ironic.”

“It’s...” I say between laughs, “it’s so sad...”

“Dude, I’m a terrible swordsman. Especially with only one good hand,” Josh replies.

“You are in good company,” Wesley retorts in an attempt to calm him down, “Skywalker, Furiosa... Jaime Lannister, if you can get past the child-killing, incest, rape.”

“Meh,” I squint my eyes, “I think you should stick to Skywalker.”

Wesley shakes his head and mouths something that looks like ‘not now’, so I stay silent as he continues his speech.

“Hands gives us identity. Chefs cut, artist paint, warriors... warrior.”

That’s definitely not how you call it, but uh, that’s not the point, right?

“All good Jedi lose a hand.”

“I couldn’t even get that right!” Josh replies with annoyance, holding his hand up.

He leans against the column and falls slowly to the ground, it’s quite a miserable sight. I stand up and walk over to sit next Josh, I pat his back softly as a way of comfort.

“You know what I love about right now?” Asks Wesley, “we are free. We can do anything!”

Josh looks at me and I know he’s thinking about the story I told him yesterday.

“I couldn’t pull off those pants,” He offers, discretely changing the subject, “you and Y/N could wear anything and still look good. I can’t, so I’m not that free.”

Wesley looks down at his clothes.

“No. No, you cannot. But is not about having cool shit, it’s about being cool as shit,” He slowly makes his way to us, “you define yourself. Who are you?”

This is getting real way too fast.

Who am I? Besides the weirdo with a fixation for the lime-green. I told you this before, there’s a reason why I never joined any tribe. I clearly don’t have a thing. If I don’t have a thing, then why am I still here? What am I supposed to be doing?

“I’m oni samurai, when I get done with my quest and find redemption, they will write songs about me.”

“Who?” I ask, bewildered, “the fairies in your head?”

Josh stands up suddenly, getting face to face with Wesley.

“Look, I couldn’t save Sam’s life. I have to avenge her death,” I stand up as well, hearing attentively, “those scratches on her body were made with a butcher’s knife. I’ve only seen one douche with a weapon like that.”

And before he says it, I already know what he’s planning to do.

“I’m gonna kill Baron Triumph,” He leans over and speaks on Wesley’s ear, “I’m gonna kill Jayden Hoyles.”

Oh, poor stupid, love-sick Josh.

I know, judging by Wesley’s face, that this took an unexpected turn for him. For me? Well, I can’t say I knew exactly what Josh had in mind, but I figured he wouldn’t just stay here and cry for the rest of his life. He’s got hero-complex. Which, unfortunately, is gonna get him killed.

But it’s good to know that I’m not the only one looking for redemption now, whatever it was Wesley did and Josh’s burden are now on the line. Maybe that could be our thing? The tribe of regrets. The redemption circle. The I-can’t-stop-fucking-things-up club. No? Meh, I’ll find the right name eventually.

I follow Josh towards one of the stores. He’s in a bad mood.

“Josh-”

“Don’t try to talk me out of it,” He interrupts me, “I need to do this.”

“I wasn’t going to stop you,” I reply.

“You weren’t?” He stops, turning completely this time, “Why?”

“You want me to stop you?” I raise a brow, “Cause I can do that too if you want.”

“No, I mean... I don’t know, I thought you’d be upset about this. See it as a way of holding on to something that won’t bring anything good.”

“I do think that you’re closer to get killed with this plan and I do believe that killing Hoyles won’t make you feel better. The difference is that I don’t follow any samurai rules, so I don’t think it’ll bring you bad karma or whatever. It’s your life, you decide.”

“Okay,” He has an odd expression. I can’t tell if he’s suspicious or curious, either way, it makes me feel nervous, “then you could help me?”

“To kill him?” I tense, “What, just because I killed once it means I can do it again?”

“No,” He rolls his eyes, “I��ve killed Ghoulies too, and I don’t judge you for what happened with your sister. You did what you had to do.”

“So..?”

“I was going to ask if you could help me find a new weapon... or hand”

“What?” I giggle, then I see him ready to get all defensive and I stop, “Sorry, what do you have in mind?”

And he pulls a list out of his pocket, like the dork he is.

“I have a few ideas...”

“We can try them,” I nod, “I’ll put on my skates so I can help you get the stuff faster.”

“Sure, I’ll be here, analyzing my list,” He lowers his eyes towards the paper, excitedly reading all he wrote.

I snort, walking away.

“You’re too cute, Wheeler.”

Oh fuck. Oh fuck. I said that out loud, didn’t I?

Well, now I can’t turn around to see if he heard me, god I hope he didn’t. If he did that means he’ll start to get suspicious and I don’t wanna ruin another friendship. Besides, I don’t like Josh that way. I don’t.

We’re friends. I just gained a friend (several, actually), I won’t ruin it just cause I think he has pretty eyes. I told Angelica that I won’t be playing her games and I’m too stubborn to admit she may have a point. Also, am I forgetting that Sam just died? This isn’t exactly what I would call perfect timing.

Josh is focused on his work when I go back and I’m too nervous to talk to him, still thinking about how he might have heard my not so subtle compliment.

What is wrong with me? I never had this issue with Alex, he was easy. I mean, we also knew each other since we were six so I guess that’d have influenced the way I perceived my behavior around him.

“Y/N?”

“Huh, yes?” I jump, “sorry, what did you say?”

“You spaced out,” He says with a small smile, “you didn’t listen a thing did you?”

“No,” I give him an awkward smile, “I got lost in my own head. I’m here now though, tell me what you need.”

“What do you think?” He points to every item on the table, “You see something that fits my... uh, whatever Wesley said I should have?”

I slide closer, examining all the stuff.

“You understood what Wesley was saying?”

“Yes... no. I don’t know. I get that he’s trying to convince me that life can be better without revenge, I guess?”

“Don’t ask me, I don’t know what he was trying to say,” I mumble, “all I know is that I have no clue of who I am. The apocalypse kind of fucked up my identity.”

“Well, who were you before?” He steps closer, carefully grabbing the glove with blades and trying it on.

“The artsy girl, according to my friend Maya,” I reply, a bit self-conscious, “I wasn’t that good if I’m honest but you know, if my friends ever needed to draw something for their projects or if they were looking for some new not-so-famous band to listen to, they’d give me a call.”

“So you were the ‘not-like-the-other-girls’ girl?” He smirks.

“Ugh, that is misconceiving,” I scoff, “every girl is their own person, we’re all the same. Just like the guys, and humans in general. We just have different likings, I really liked all kinds of art before, that’s all”

“Okay,” He takes a minute to think about it, “you’re right, there’s no tribe for that.”

“And it’s not like I could use my drawings to defend myself,” I grin.

“Well, the disciples of the Kardashian aren’t exactly trained warriors.”

“Maybe,” I help him take off the glove, “but there’s more than one, they share one specific trait. The jocks protect them of course, they don’t need to know how to defend themselves, I do. I have no one.”

“You have me now,” He replies promptly, “Uh, I mean us. You have us. We can protect you and you can go back to being the artsy girl.”

“To be honest, going back to that would be dull,” I squint, “I know I said I wanted my old life but that’d only work in the old world. I can’t be who I was, so I have to find a way to be a new version of myself, meaning I’ll have to use my creative instincts in something else.”

“We’ll figure it out,” Josh answers, grabbing a knife and weighing it, “your thing and mine. We have time.”

“That, if you survive to Hoyles,” I say subtly, “cause if not then we don’t have time at all. Or... if you wait a bit longer before going after Triumph, maybe we’ll have it...”

“Ah, there it is,” Josh has a smug smile when he leans towards me, “that is how you’re trying to convince me about not doing this?”

“Is it working?” I get closer as well, grinning.

“Almost,” He sighs, “but not enough, I’m still going. The only thing that could stop me from going is if I don’t find something to help me with my bad hand, which seems more likely than not.”

“I tried my best,” My foot accidentally kicks a mannequin’s hand and something comes to my mind, “hey, we have one more item (not listed) that you can try on for your new look. Who knows? Maybe it’ll bring you good luck.”

“What is it?” He curiously looks around the table.

“Here,” I pick up the hand and show it to him.

“Y/N,” He gives me a stern look, “tell me you’re joking.”

“What? We don't have functional prosthetics laying around, that is the closest thing you can get,” I put a hand on my hip, “you know is your best choice. You’ll get used to it. Adapt and survive, man.”

“Fine,” He sighs, “but I’m not obligated to use it if I don’t like how it looks.”

“Sure,” I agree, “it’s your body.”

I sit next to the table while he goes to a changing room. I hear him break the hand and I hope he didn’t screw up the fingers. Not that we can’t get more if that’s the case, but you know, time is not something we have to spare.

Wesley enters and sees the bunch of weird things we’ve come up with.

“Okay,” He nods, “yeah, hell yeah! This is what I’m talking about, brother! You define yourself. Come out here and show me your new killer digits.”

Josh pulls the curtain and walks out from the changing room with the white, plastic finger tied to his hand. Wesley and I laugh.

“Nice figure, Kim Cattrall,” He notices neither Josh or I get the joke, and he continues, “because she was a mannequin.”

We stay quiet.

“In the movie mannequin?” I shake my head without saying a word, “about a mannequin who comes to life? They made a sequel with Kristy Swanson, the orig Buffy the vampire slayer...”

Josh walks out of the store, showing Wesley his middle finger.

“I can’t tell if that means he liked it,” I mention, standing up next to Wesley, “but I take that he won’t waste more time on this?”

“Okay,” Wesley sighs, “let’s go hunt Baron Triumph.”

The sound my skates make against the gravel is like music to my ears. I had missed this, the outside. As dangerous as it is, it gives me the liberty that no safe haven ever could. I know these streets like the back of my hand, I got this.

Maybe I enjoy myself a bit too much, skating around and humming an old song I haven’t heard in a while when I realize Josh is staring. I immediately stop what I’m doing.

“Sorry, I should be quiet,” I look away, limiting myself to just skate beside my friends.

“No, it’s okay,” He says, “I wasn’t- I was staring but I... it seemed like you were enjoying yourself.”

“I shouldn’t,” I reply, “this is not a fun trip, I’ll stop.”

“I...” Josh is about to say something when Wesley speaks up.

“Hey, look at this!” He picks up something from the street, “second left molar, nice craftsmanship on the porcelain ceramic filling...”

“Your dad taught you a lot,” says Josh.

“A thing or two.”

“It was knocked off by Triumph.”

Wesley turns around and looks at Josh with a sly smile.

“You don’t know that.”

“I only know one dude in school with a size fourteen shoe... cause I licked it.”

We look down at the mud and see the footprint that Josh is pointing to us.

“Hoyles,” whispers Wesley.

“He went east, toward San Fernando,” Mentions Josh.

“You’re like a Canadian Wolverine,” Replies Wesley in amazement.

“More like Deadpool,” I correct, “’cause the katana..?”

“Wolverine is a Canadian Wolverine,” Josh shakes his head, “can we focus right now? Look, I hunted elk every summer...”

He starts to walk away, but Wesley keeps talking.

“Your dad taught you a lot.”

Josh stops only to answer.

“A thing or two,” He smirks.

“You can track. But you can’t fight.”

“Here we go,” I roll my eyes, moving away from their discussion to look for more clues.

I don’t pay much attention to what they’re saying while I turn my back to them and analyze the footprint. Josh is right, it’s heading towards the industrial section. I know the old Hoyles’ cereal fabric is there, maybe we should take a look and see what we find...

“Run!” I turn around abruptly, raising the hammer above my head. I see Wesley sprinting towards the other side of the street, Josh gives me one panicky look before looking behind us in confusion.

“What?”

“Run!”

“Okay!” Josh runs after him with me close behind them.

We run around town like maniacs, I have the hammer ready but I don’t actually see any danger, so my fear isn’t growing but I’m not calm either. At some point, a couple of Ghoulies start to chase Josh and for some reason Wesley doesn’t let me help him. We wait until Josh gets rid of them and we go back to the running. My skates are going fast, soon enough I leave them behind and I hear Wesley scream:

“Get under the car!”

I stop harshly and skid without being able to control my movements. I trip falling on one knee and my legs and arms get a few scratches. My hammer flies like four feet away from me.

“Y/N!” Josh tries to go over to me but Wesley grabs his ankle, already under the vehicle.

“They’re coming!”

“Dude, I don’t see anybody!” He complains, obeying against his own will.

In the few seconds that takes me to stand up again, Wesley and Josh are already getting out from under the car.

“Let’s go! Go! Go! Go!”

“Wes, I’mma smash your knees with my- Where’s my hammer?” I look around frantically until Josh touches my shoulder lightly.

“Here,” He gives me the tool and I thank him silently, rushing over so we catch up with Wes.

“Wesley!” I scream after spending five more minutes running, “Stop! I think I hurt my knee when I fell, shit...”

Josh stops immediately after hearing what I said and looks over my shoulder, frowning.

“Dude,” He stops Wesley, “what the hell? Dude, there’s nobody after us. And now Y/N got hurt, look at her knee!”

I look down and I yelp at the sight. My knee is bleeding, swollen, and one of my hands is pulsating in a way that makes me think I might not be fine to continue.

“I think I can fix it,” I groan, gently touching my scratches.

“I had the Baron’s trail and now I’m all lost. Why did you do that?” Josh inquires.

Wesley seems to struggle to find a proper answer when we hear the engine of a car coming closer. Soon the golf team appears, annoying as ever.

“Great,” I grab the hammer from beside me and prepare to fight.

“Remember us, just Josh?”

“I remember there being more of you,” He retorts.

“We’re downsizing”

“Yeah, but not by choice, by circumstance.”

“The circumstance being death.”

“We’re currently taking applications for new membership.”

“Oh,” Replies Josh, “not interested.”

“Not talking to you,” complains Barry, “we’ll deal with you next. Hi, Y/N!”

“Hi, Barry,” I sigh tiredly, “how’s your wrist?”

I know them, of course. The golf team was like the lowest of them all, they weren’t so bad, only terribly stupid. During my time with the Jocks, I did some stuff for them as well, small things like collecting their balls and keeping their golf sticks clean and ready to use... I hate talking about golf cause it always sounds like I’m talking about sex.

“Better, thank you. I see you got a bad knee, I can get you an ointment for that.”

“No thanks, I’ll manage”

“What say you Fists?”

“You ready to come home?” Asks the other... is it Larry? They all have similar names, I can’t bring myself to remember, “listen to fate: Gary, Larry, Barry... Wesley”

“It doesn’t fit the line,” mumbles Barry.

“There’s a ‘y’ at the end” He replies.

“Meh, it’s kind of a stretch,” adds... Gary? I’m pretty sure it’s Gary.

“Close enough for Armageddon. Three is not a team, four can play spades.”

“Just because you have balls, doesn’t make golf a sport.”

It is, though. But I won’t say that right now.

“Gotta start somewhere to earn your way back into his good graces...”

A second car appears, this time on the other side. We’re face to face with Turbo. My wrist is killing me but I lift the hammer again, this time looking at the other side of the alley.

“Not gonna lie,” I say, “I’m starting to regret this”

“Tell me about it,” Whispers Wesley.

Turbo steps out of the car and growls. He does that a lot. As a matter of fact, it’s the only thing he does now. Wesley understands perfectly so he translates all that into a petition to fight to the death, only Josh and him, no weapons.

“You got all that from a look?”

“I speak Turbo.”

“What did I even do?” Asks Josh.

“Besides making all the wrong choices?” I ask.

“He said he doesn’t like to lose.”

“This isn’t Mario Kart! You tried to capture us, we got away”

“Wait, that was all?” I frown, “Turbo is chasing you because you won in a tag-you’re-it game?”

“He’s sensitive about this stuff,” explains Wesley.

“More like a fucking baby,” I reply.

Turbo grunts. Josh steps forward.

“Who cares?! God, this is... there is no your side or my side. Hoyles is out there trying to kill all sides. He’s killed out friends...”

“I’ll be your friend!” A small, mechanical voice replies behind us, “I love you. Let’s be besties!”

“What the fuck...” I mutter.

Larry picks it up and says he knows those bears, something tells me he’s in danger.

“That’s pretty. Put it down,” I urge him.

“They had their names stitched on their butts. What’s your name, guy?”

“I’m pretty sure he can’t answer that,” I insist, “Wesley that’s not a good sign, we need to leave.”

He nods and opens his mouth, but when Larry turns the bear around something catches our eye.

“Larry put the bear down!”

The explosion makes us fly and fall hard on the ground, disoriented and stunned. I hear screams and rushed steps around us, I open my eyes with difficulty and I see Josh’s body a few feet away from mine.

All I do before passing out is watch as the figure of Baron Triumph walks out of the dusty cloud.

Taglist.

@letsbloodmagic @hollywaterpls

#twoidiots writing #daybreak #josh wheeler #josh wheeler xreader #daybreak fanfic #eli cardashyan #angelica green #wesley fists #ms crumble #netflix

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almaasi · 5 years

Text

reaction post typed while watching SPN 15x04 “Atomic Monsters”

in which Jensen’s directing blows my mind a little bit?? holy shit. also Dean is only eating phallic things... and the writer in me is reeling. SOMEONE TELL ME THAT WAS JENSEN SINGING THAT SONG PLEASE

07:01pm

mostly what i wanna do right now is eat and watch queer eye buuuut i guess i should watch this first. hopefully it’s fun?? i do not want my heart ripped out or to be squicked right now

07:04

oh no........ becky

i like her as a character but ew ew ew all of her life choices and the way she treats sam

fingers crossed for character development

PLEASE DON’T DIE

i mean .....i don’t LIKE her but still

07:08

i can’t tell if the audio on my video file is fucked up or whether there’s supposed to be a voiceover here while dean’s shooting people while wearing a very nice beard

because it’s very much drowned out

07:10

oh hey benny

soooo this is some kind of au fic maybe

i uh.... fully expected dean to kiss benny right then

07:13

definitely a voiceover drowned out on purpose

vaguely heard “title” as the titlecard came up

okay, interesting

07:15

DEAN GOT VEGGIE BACON

yee

sam: YOU GOTTA STOP CALLING YOURSELF THE MEAT MAN, IT DOESN’T MEAN WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS

OHHHHH SAMMY No i think he knows exactly what it means, and what it sounds like

dean: yeah it does

TOLD YOU. bi baby

07:18

real bacon

DEAN YOU VEGETABLE-HATING ASSHOLE

07:22

dean and his flask this season..... guess he’s gone back to quiet alcoholism

07:23

wow........ becky has not aged a DAY

07:27

becky: they just sit around and do laundry and talk

okay NOW i relate to becky

thank youuuu davy perez for letting her grow and recognize her awful awful awful mistakes

chuck: eeeeeeh, people like monsters

becky: meh

HELL YEAH

i mean i love monster stories but i love laundry more

07:29

there’s a tall cas doll in becky’s bookshelf, yay~

which.... honestly looks like a white tennis ball on a roll of paper with wings attached but still

07:33

cas is gone and dean is eating SO MUCH

> meat man bacon (textual penis euphemism)

> pretzels (twisted, salty rather than sweet, metaphor for Not Straight)

> alcohol (DESPAIR)

> hot dog (phallic)

i can’t put screenshots on my posts anymore bc tumblr sucks BUT

as dean’s sitting with the hot dog, in the shot that contains sam, there’s BISEXUAL BICYCLES

07:40

sam holds a hyponeedle behind his back

i’m wondering if they’d become a little out of character if chuck is writing them again

07:42

i’d say the orchid is significant

there’s a pink one in the house of the dad/mom/son, and the speech-making cheerleader mentioned ghost orchids

edit: nah

07:44

aww there’s a lil cas pop figure thingy!!! yay team free will!!!

07:45

chuck: fan..fic. it’s not really the same

becky: writing’s writing!!

YES BECKY

07:52

becky: no-one even mentions cas

YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAS BECKY

07:54

flashback to the son biting the girl’s neck, the music kind of halfway there

the directing of this is fascinating

like a music video, it’s ethereal

and... you know when you hear JUST enough of a good chord from a song but you don’t hear the rest and it’s like MMM but just an inch away from satisfying but not in a bad way?? like breathing in a meal you’re not going to eat. like walking past a bakery and not going inside. you want it but you can’t have it, IT TEASES

AND I JUST LOOKED UP THE DIRECTOR AND IT’S JENSEN

WOW. OKAY DUDE 3000 KUDOS TO YOU

this isn’t a tv show, it’s art. like. he just made art. wow

wowow

there are SO MANY LAYERS HERe, particularly in the audio

the kid talking, chuck’s voiceover, the music in the truck, the heartbeat and roaring sound effects, the kid and the girl breathing and grunting in the flashback

it’s like... sensory overload but at the same time it’s delicious

.....you know what?? this scene is beyond incredible, because not only is is beautiful for what it is, but also for what it represents

because i was just thinking that this feeling, this blast and blur of ALL THE THINGS ALL AT ONCE AT THE APEX OF EMOTION feels exactly like the part where i’m writing a story and everything’s happening so fast and i gotta type AS THINGS ARE HAPPENING and words just flood from my fingertips and my heart is pounding and the world no longer exists, i’m kind of out of my body but no longer have a body

and

that’s literally what’s happening. all of this. is chuck writing in that exact moment, unresponsive to becky, WRITING THINGS INTO EXISTENCE

i told my family a while ago, there are some stories only a Writer can write. when they write about being a Writer and you can tell it’s so personal and would be related to the most by other writers. and davy perez has done exactly this here, with becky being us, the fandom, but then there’s THIS

that flood of Everything All At Once is illustrated PERFECTLY, not just in the text, but the way jensen obviously understood the feeling and illustrated it in such a way that i didn’t even remember the layer of this story where chuck’s writing until i was all “hey this feels like that writer thing” and IT’S EXACTLY THAT

this is mind-blowing a little bit??? i really really love this

goddamn

08:09

ooooooh a vampire trying to save the winchesters from humans

08:11

.....who’s singing this song? kind of?? sounds like jensen???

it’s probably not jensen but 100% chance he picked the song

that long note as the girl’s taken out on the stretcher. oh man it REALLY sounds like jensen

....i listened again and....... the word “SOUnds”

no, yeah, that’s jensen. the way he kind of hurls a big note up through his chest yet it comes out soft with just that teeeeny touch of huskiness?? that’s gotta be jensen

if it’s not jensen i’ll be v surprised. might be a friend of his maybe. but there’s a personal connection there definitely

edit: NO IT HAS TO BE JENSEN. IT IS RIGHT??? SOMEONE TELL ME IT IS

*misha at jibcon voice* we get a tingly feeling when we hear it so we know it’s you

08:17

becky: it’s AWFUL. HOPELESS. you can’t do this to the fans

i can’t tell if that textual awareness combined with my dread about the upcoming ending of the show makes me glad the writers understand, or worried that they understand but are gonna give us a dark, hopeless ending anyway

08:20

did the voiceover just say “bexy becky”

08:23

dean: now that chuck’s gone... we are..... finally free

oh no baby

oh no

08:26

laughing bc the ending was just “next to him sit dean and sam bobbleheads”

the end

guess it’s kind of a cause-and-effect thing. chuck types, they wobble

OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH MAN

at least becky’s not dead right?? at least according to chuck talking about her family

CHUCK IS THE ABSOLUTE WORST.

i’m so glad becky is a stable, healthily creative human who obeys consent now and is repulsed by what she did to sam

i probably don’t need to say it again but the directing in this was phenomenal, if highly unusual compared to other episodes. there was a lot of... force in it? actually now i think it about it, it had jensen’s energy. smooth and flowing with smacks of Hell Yeah and some twangs of discomfort thrown in.

also dean’s food was phallic, fight me

i think the bicycles thing probably meant less than the food did, jensen’s way more straightforward with his dick jokes. like, if he’s gonna be gay, he goes for it, doesn’t hide it in the background. someone else put those bicycles there, and he was probably like “ok sure”.

(also? dean’s “nice beaver” quip, followed by the fact that THE PERSON INSIDE THE BEAVER FURSUIT IS A GUY)

i bet i’m gonna get on tumblr after this and someone’s gonna be like “hey here’s the song that was in this episode and yeah it’s off jensen’s new album”

i’m interested to see where this story goes next. but also WOW, i’m not into the fact chuck is manipulating the storyline again and the winchesters aren’t aware of it. curious flip regarding consent issues, with chuck and becky. now chuck’s the violator and becky’s the voice of reason

anyway this was 10/10, and i’m happy to report that after i got past the scene with the red lights in the bunker, and made it to the brothers eating bacon, i’d completely forgotten i wanted to be watching something else and began to fully enjoy this episode~ yay

#spn spoilers #15x04 #atomic monsters #season 15 #Elmie watches things #spn #post of postiness #Jensen singing #???#director!Jensen

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x-ximenas · 4 years

Text

Love Means Trouble: Chapter 5

Prompt: Hurricane by Halsey, which you can find in this playlist.

Pairing: OC/Nikki Sixx

Warnings: Alcohol and drug consumption, mentions of kissing and sex (not graphic tbh, not even a bit) and my terrible grammar and punctuation remember English’s not my first language.

Word Count: 2,894 words

A/N: It's been a while, huh? I'm so so sorry for leaving this story unattended, but med school continues to be a pain in my ass and as I come closer to the end of this semester I have enough time to sit down and write. This chapter starts right where the last left it off, so I'd recommend you to go back and read chapter 4 <3 Also, if you liked this bit, I’d love to hear some comments! If you’d like to be added to a taglist for upcoming parts comment, dm me, ask me… just talk to me!

A/N 2: If you’d like to listen to the songs I mention in the story, here’s the playlist where you can find them.

// Prologue // Previous Chapter //———————————————————————————————————–Fuck.

Was Nikki's last thought as he lead his blonde-haired company back to the couch. Circe was predictable in the worse way possible, he knew he had to figure out how to get around yet another round of her teasing after tonight's turn of events. Nikki was never good at keeping promises, but he excelled at making them sound realistic.

They never agreed they would interrupt their dynamic, but after the words they shared in Circe's apartment he knew he had definitely slipped and she was going to make him pay for it. He saw that characteristic glint of mischief shine brightly in her otherwise dark eyes, he just didn't know that was Circe playing with his doped brain.

As Nikki silently pondered on how to tackle the situation at hand -a scenario yet to be presented- Circe was coughing out smoke with a laugh, Nikki's slightly shocked and panicked expression engraved in her brain. It took her a couple of minutes for her giggles to settle, but once it did she heard Vince snort out a laugh by the window.

"What?" She asked the blond at her right, a smile sneaking up on her lips.

"You're asking me? You're the one laughing by yourself" He said with a knowing smile, Circe shrugged.

Then, Vince handed her her "Here, you left it inside."

"Oh, and to what do I owe this display of chivalry?" Circe asked the blond to her right, digging her elbow on his ribs playfully.

"Can't I just bring my gorgeous female friend her drink without her implying there's a bigger plan?" He teased back, swaying his hands as if to make him look posh.

"No, no, you can, but it's just so... what's the word... so not Vince-like."

"Thanks, tho." She said in a lower voice, her head now resting on his shoulder, Vince mumbled something back as he wrapped an arm around her frame.

Silence settled between the pair. As the wind blew, Circe's head ran through similar moments she had shared with Vince before, a small smile tugging on the corners of her lips. The peaceful environment around them was interrupted by the blond vocalist who cleared his throat.

"Well, just so you know, I came out here to see if you were kicking Nikki's ass over the blonde chick situation." Another nasal laugh left Vince, Circe turned to him and started to hit his shoulder repeatedly, causing him to break out laughing.

"You fucker." Circe said, dragging out the r as she chased Vince back inside the apartment, people parting to make room for the pair.

Circe had tuned out the voices around her, but she swore she heard Tommy encouraging her to hit Vince over the head and Mick laughing a little. Her focus left her as she bumped into someone.

She mumbled a half-assed apology, but this change in her path had made her lose sight of the blond-haired singer. With a defeated look on her face, she decided to take a seat on the band's table only to find her prey laughing at her.

"Haha, very funny jackass," Circe said a frown sketched on her face.

"Oh, c'mon you're gonna get wrinkles, dude." Vince teased, earning a smack on his shoulder by both Mick and Circe.

"Dude, you should have seen Nikki's face when you bumped into him." Tommy chimed in with an amused expression. Circe's eyes widened slightly, but a laugh still left her slightly parted lips.

Before she could gather her thoughts to answer Tommy, Vince handed her a cymbal with some coke lines cut up for her enjoyment. She leaned down to snort one of the two lines Vince had cut for her; then she straightened her back, scratching the tip of her nose as she tried to come up with something to say, dusting some of the excess coke in the process. Like Circe came with no logical response to Tommy's comment, she just shrugged and laughed again. Then she leaned back down to snort the second line, a good girl naturally tumbling out of Vince's lips accompanied by a pat on the back.

After that point the night seemed to slip through Circe's fingers, time passing by her as she engaged in conversation, laughing fits leaving her breathless and kisses shared with complete strangers in her smoke breaks were the only things that kept her entertained. As the apartment was quickly emptying, Circe was left sitting by herself in the dining table, a nearly empty bottle of vodka, music and the distinctive sounds of sex being her only company. She rolled her eyes as she drank what little was left of the clear liquid, dropping the bottle on the floor carelessly she headed towards the window, ready to go home unaccompanied when a hand grabbed her by her forearm.

"Hi" said the blonde girl Nikki had been chasing all night long.

"Hey" answered Circe with a small smile.

"You're leaving?" the blonde inquired.

"Yeah"

"Oh, okay." was her reply, a tinge of disappointment laced the two words. Circe smirked just a smidge, her hand came up to the blonde's chin, lifting it as to make her eyes meet.

"C'mon, doll." Circe offered her hand as she walked out the window, the blonde took Circe's hand in her own.

"Wait here, we'll leave soon." Circe said before peaking her head inside the apartment once more, her eyes meeting with Nikki's surprised expression.

"Sixx, if you see Tommy or Vince tell them I finished the vodka." And with that said, she parted with the blonde.

Both girls had been walking for a couple of minutes, their high heels were worn as bracelets by now. The silence was comfortable, no one really trying to break the calm atmosphere they had settled in, embracing the drastic change.

"You live nearby?" Circe asked.

"Yeah, I just didn't want to walk home alone."

"It's cool, sorry if I made you uncomfortable with the doll thing."

"Meh, I didn't mind it."

As the pair headed to the blonde's place, Circe noted the change of behaviour but stayed quiet nonetheless.

"So Nikki? or Vince?" the blonde girl teased with a giggle, earning a breathy laugh from Circe.

"Neither."

"Wait, Vince?" Circe continued after a moment of silence, her voice clearly amused.

"Yeah! Quite a scene you made back there."

"That's just us being, well, us. Nothing beyond that." Circe vaguely informed her.

"If you say so." The girl said in a singsong voice.

"Anyways, this is me! Thanks for walking with me..."

"Circe"

The blonde girl repeated the name to herself in a lower voice. "Josie." Circe rose an eyebrow.

"My name's Josie" she clarified with a smile. "Well, thanks, Circe ."

"Anytime, Josie. " Circe answered, making a point by repeating the girl's name.

As Josie headed to her door, Circe cleared her voice, making her turn to face the brunette with an eyebrow raised.

"Yeah?"

"I kinda get Vince, but why did you ask about Nikki?" Josie laughed to herself at the brunette's curiosity.

"Instinct... question mark" Josie answered, unsure of herself. Circe stared at her in disbelief but decided not to push the topic, instead, she snorted out a laugh.

"I better go home, bye."

"Bye."

And with that, Circe found herself alone one more time, not that she minded. The walk back to her apartment was short, not more than five minutes and she probably would have taken less if she hadn't bumped into an adorable stray cat or if she had actually walked instead of danced and sung all the way back home.

"No place for hidin' baby, no place to run " Circe dramatically sung in her best Paul impersonation, as she tried to open her door.

"You pull the trigger of my love gun."

As those last few notes left Circe, her door finally budged open. Clothes and items were carelessly thrown around the living room, and Circe nearly fell flat on her face after tripping with the clothes she had brought home from work. Circe tried her best to navigate to her room in the dark, in the process bumping into furniture and even a wall, curse after curse falling off her lips. Once she found herself in her room, she let herself fall on the bed, her hand reaching under it to pull out a half-drunk bottle of Jack.

"You can't forget me baby, don't try to lie. You'll never leave me, mama, so don't try. I'll be a gambler, baby lay down the bet. We get together, mama you'll sweat" She restarted her singing as she took a drink from the bottle, then she laughed to herself, clearly amused at her attempt to sound like Paul.

She took another swing of the bottle, as she felt her body swaying, the same feeling you would get when floating in water. Her eyes were teary from the laughter, and her head started to pounce at the thought of work, but she didn't stop drinking. Despite the upcoming headache, she tried to keep herself focused on what she'd like to do with the clothes instead of letting her mind wander off to Josie's question. But before her mind could cave in, she fell asleep.

———————————————————————————————————–

"Rise and shine, sunshine" a male voice, sung from her left. Circe's hold on the bottle tightened as she turned her body to the side, ignoring the man -whom she assumed was Tommy.

"Fuck off" Circe answered, her voice raspy and low, afraid that it would make her headache worse.

"Tommy sent you breakfast c'mon, Ce" At the mention of Tommy, Circe shoot up straight, something her body resented instantly.

"Here, take this" Vince handed her a glass of water, the blond far too relaxed, considering he had broken into her apartment while she slept.

She mumbled a quiet thank you to Vince and took a gulp from the glass, then asked: "What the fuck are you doing here, Neil?"

"Athena came over, she left some food for you, so Tommy gave me your key me and told me to bring it over."

Circe stood up from the bed, holding the cold glass of water to the side of her head while taking a drink from the bottle of Jack. She placed both drinks on the floor as she started to remove her clothes, Vince in her room currently being the last of her concerns. She pulled from her closet her jean overalls and put it over last night's bandeau and panties.

"C'mon, I'm starving."

"Also, that's 10 bucks for the show" She added with a small laugh, then she took a drink from the glass of water before pressing it to the side of her head.

"Ass" the mumbled curse made Circe laugh harder.

Vince followed Circe out of her room, stealing the bottle of Jack in the process, then he flopped down on the couch, throwing his legs on the small coffee table. Circe, on the other hand, headed to her kitchen and decided to brew some coffee, in hopes that the caffeine would ease her headache.

"Bring the syrup, Athena sent you chocolate chip pancakes" Vince yelled from the living room as he made himself comfortable in the couch, taking gulps from the whiskey every now and then.

Circe nodded but huffed at the realisation that she had virtually nothing in her kitchen, meaning she had to eat dry pancakes, again.

"What? No syrup?" Vince asked without looking up, too busy picking some chocolate chips, earning a smack over the head from Circe.

"No, I haven't gone grocery shopping" Circe stole the bottle of Jack back from Vince, pouring some in her coffee. Then she grabbed the plastic fork that came with the pancakes and started eating, offering Vince a piece of pancake every once in a while.

"You know?" Vince wondered out loud. Circe hummed, waiting for him to continue.

"I thought I might find the blonde chick leaving or something."

"Nah, she just wanted someone to walk her home" Circe shrugged, a hand covering her mouth to prevent her pancakes from spilling out of it.

"Ah, man, I thought you had stolen Nikki's toy-for-a-night" Vince said, leaning back into the couch, his eyes covered by his hands.

Vince stayed quiet for a while, before saying: "So... no sex last night?"

"Nah"

"Wanna change that?" Vince teased.

"What? You offering?" Circe asked back with a playful smile. Vince shrugged.

"It's been a while, huh" Circe pondered.

"You had no tattoos back then, Ce."

"So like, a long, long while" Circe laughed a bit.

"Yeah" Vince laughed as well.

"Was it before or after I left my parent's house?" Circe asked.

"Really? Both, it was around the time I left my parent's house, and then you left your parent's house, so we kinda coexisted in Tommy's place" Vince answered, taking Circe's fork and a bite out of the pancake.

"Right" Circe mumbled, deep in thought before snorting out a laugh.

"You finished?" Circe asked, pointing at the pancake Vince was currently eating.

"Yeah" Circe offered her hand to take the container, but Vince took it upon himself to dump it in the trash.

"Hey, do you think Athena is still in your place?"

"Maybe, wanna go?"

"Yeah, why not" Circe answered, shrugging her shoulders.

"Just let me clean my face, I probably look half dead."

Circe made a quick job out of cleaning her face, mainly worried about removing the eyeliner that had smudged under her eyes and the lipstick that had somehow ended up all over her cheek. As she headed back to meet with Vince in her living room, she redid her bun.

"Ready?" Circe just nodded. As they made their way out, she took her keys and two packs of cigarettes, perfectly aware that she had finished Tommy's last night.

Closing and locking the door behind her, they headed to Vince's place. Halfway through Circe decided to jump on Vince's back, claiming she was too tired to walk and she felt sick, the blond man just rolled his eyes all too accustomed to her antics.

"Honey, I'm home" Circe jokingly sang at the sight of Tommy's little sister, Athena. Vince dropped Circe back on her feet, letting the two girls hug.

"Thanks for breakfast, I had nothing left to eat" Circe said. She pinched Athena's cheek before jumping on the kitchen counter.

"Thought so, I don't get how you can live off drugs and booze" Athena replied, directing her sentence to all four people. Tommy shrugged.

"A mystery" Circe and Tommy said simultaneously, then they high-fived earning a barely audible groan from an otherwise silent Nikki.

Tommy frowned at Nikki's reaction but decided to not address his sudden change in attitude. Tommy's gaze shifted between both his best friends, confused as to what had caused the shift in dynamics. Circe rolled her eyes at the sight of Nikki throwing a silent temper tantrum, not once making eye contact or directing a word to her since the day before. Circe decided to pay him no mind, directing her focus on Athena instead, unaware the younger Lee was soon to leave.

Athena pinched Circe's cheek, making her chuckle. "What?"

"You should go visit mom and dad, they've been asking about you."

"I'll think about it, 'k? Maybe I'll give them a call."

"You better, Ce" Athena said, patting her on the knee.

"I'd say this was a pleasure, but-"

"Fuck off" Tommy interrupted his sister with a laugh, "C'mon, I'll drive you home."

Once both Lee siblings left through the window, Nikki stood up from his place, taking long strides towards Circe only stopping once he was right in front of her.

"What?" Circe asked, uncrossing her legs as if to make room for Nikki between them. Still, she had a hard time pushing her smile down.

"Nice stunt you pulled last night." Nikki's words were laced with a tinge of bitterness.

"Which one?"

"Both."

"Huh, I see, you're all grumpy cause you didn't get laid." Circe teased, her smile nothing but sweet despite the jabbing demeanour of her words.

"Fuck o-" Nikki muttered, and Circe chuckled. Then, she pulled Nikki back between her legs by grabbing him from his pants belt loops.

"C'mon, Sixx. Chill, we said we'd play fair, didn't we?"

"You call that playing fair?" Nikki questioned, grabbing Circe by the waist pulling her closer to him.

"I wasn't the one with a pretty blonde on my lap last night, wasn't I? I was only trying to rise up to the occasion." Circe playfully pushed Nikki's chin up with her index before coaxing him to reduce the distance between them.

"I call that playing fair." Circe's voice was breathy, Nikki could practically taste the pancakes she had eaten earlier that day along with the Jack and coffee she had used to gulp them down.

Nikki leaned in to close the small gap that was left between them, but Circe pushed him off her.

"As much as I would like to see where this leads, I have work to do, and you definitely don't figure in it."

Circe jumped off the counter as she said those words, her smirk only getting wider as she spoke. Nikki was shocked and momentarily lost the ability to both move and speak, so as the brunette walked through the window and out his apartment, he stood still.

#motley crue #mötley crüe #nikki sixx #tommy lee #mick mars #vince neil #80’s #motley crue fanfiction #nikki sixx imagines #nikki sixx imagine #nikki sixx fanfiction #nikki sixx x oc #love means trouble #chapter 5 #fanfiction #fanfic #female oc #classic rock #classic rock imagine

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bigskydreaming · 4 years

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Garrett is definitely obnoxious enough to where he would have his shadow do pantomime annoyingly. Garrett definitely plays up how dangerous his shadow is, lets rumors spread about how it totally assassinated some rich fuck when really it was Violet. Theo is rubbing his temples because he won't shut up

LOLOLOL. And everyone who really knows Garrett and how his magic works knows that he’s full of shit and Violet’s the real dangerous one of their duo. And Theo’s constantly mumbling to himself, like, arguing the pros and cons of just fucking killing Garrett despite how useful he is. He’s like ugh, if only I could just figure out where the seat of his magic is so I could steal his shadow for myself, and he’s always contemplating like….okay, there has to be someone down in Answers Alley who could tell me how to kill that little asshole in such a way as to let me absorb his magic….I just can’t decide if its worth admitting that I don’t actually know how to do it or how to figure it out for myself, or potentially risk letting someone in on how my own magic works if they don’t already know that.

Plus he’s aware of the possibility that like, even if he did find someone who could give him the right answer there, they might just lie or not tell him because y’know….they don’t like him either.

And some days he’s just like fuck it, I can’t listen to one more word from that little shit, I’m just gonna kill him and be done with it, nothing’s worth this and there are plenty of changelings with like, scrying magic. Only stopped by Tracy pulling him back and pointing out; “Yeah, but you’d have to convince them to work for you first, and that’s easier said than done. I mean, I’m your right hand lieutenant and I’m mostly just meh on you myself.”

Theo, acidly: Thanks ever so much for that.

Tracy: Any time, boss!

Anyway, speaking of Answers Alley, the street sandwiched between Mercy Row and the edge of the Seventh Circle district, with one end of the Alley running all the way up to the Rose’s Garden right at the very heart of Bordertown, and the other end letting out in Shadowsmeet (the roofless warehouse turned ampitheatre that houses Jake the Drake, and where changelings gather for a kind of 24/7 street fair that showcases all kinds of art from the tangible expressions like painting and sculpture to music playing, dancing and storytelling and theater) -

Some of the Changelings found in Answers Alley - Aaron, Melody, Eloise, Rashid, Hiromi aka Compass Rose, and Jackie:

Aaron - an eighteen year old black boy whose body is covered in scrolling gold script from all kinds of different languages, the texts of books, scrolls, and tomes that have been lost to history. The text on his body is always relevant to whatever question he was just asked, information that’s applicable or relevant if not the direct answer itself, but it will vanish and be replaced by new words the second another question is posed to him, and even re-asking the first question isn’t guaranteed to bring back the original text instead of more linked text pulled from other sources.

Aaron always knows how to read or understand the words on him, even if they’re written in a language that he doesn’t otherwise know, which means that he’s still usually the only one who can give a person the answers they’re seeking (and assuming he even wants to). But just sneaking a peek at his arm isn’t going to help anyone when the words on it are from a dead language that hasn’t been read or understood in millennia. Aaron’s both the answer and the key to understanding it.

Melody - a twenty-two year old, mostly mainstream appearing Latina changeling with brown skin and eyes and dark, curly hair offset by two sharp silvery horns that make a V shape like a kind of stylized tuning fork. Her only other visible change is that her ears have a pointed elfin shape and natural holes in them up and down the cartilage like she has multiple piercings in them and just wears no earrings. But with her, the true change and magic isn’t seen, but heard - its almost never completely silent when she’s around, because the very air around her seems to constantly hum when anyone is speaking in her vicinity at all. How harmonious or not the ambient music her magic produces around her is though, is entirely dependent on whether its truth or lies that are being spoken within her exceptional hearing range.

Like most changelings, her magic is only fully accessible to her….to everyone else, the song surrounding her might be pleasing or not, but only she has the magical sensitivity needed to detect the slight changes in her song, enough to pinpoint when a lie is spoken or a truth is told. But the real gift of her magic is that its attuned to universal truths rather than just perceived truths….meaning she can detect whether something said to or around her is true or not regardless of whether or not the person who says it believes it to be true…..thus making her a sought-out changeling not just for settling disputes, but for anyone who seeks to know whether something they’ve been told or believe is actually true or not.

The more specific the question though, the more definitive her answer for them is. She’s not good with settling matters of philosophy or religion, because as she puts it, most everything stemming from those have at least an element of truth to them, and so those kinds of questions usually prompt a veritable symphony around her, with so much harmony and discordance both, that its all but impossible for her to declare anything definitive. But personal truths, especially ones with a finite yes or no answer, she excels at - such as if someone relates a memory to her and asks if they’ve remembered it correctly or if there’s something about what actually happened that eludes them, that sort of thing.

Eloise - a dreamy, absent-minded seventeen year old white changeling of French descent, whose ‘shop’ is set back from the rest of the street a little ways, intersecting with one of the many canals that criss-cross Bordertown and allow the aquatic or amphibious residents to come and go between the mainland of it and the undersea neighborhoods that make up Sub Francisco. Her skin tone is a pale pink coral hue, and instead of hair she has a voluminous head of white sea-foam that appears and acts as if its a long, thick tangle of hair. Her shop is a fairly large one story room that’s mostly filled by the waters from the canal with the exception of just enough floor by the front entrance for most visitors to stand on while visiting her, assuming they’re not aquatic Changelings themselves.

Her magic, and the reason for her almost constant daydreaming, is that her magic makes any water she touches a scrying pool that plays out visions of whatever location she pictures. She doesn’t have to have visited herself, she only needs a point of reference for her magic to hone in on…..which can even just be someone’s description of a place they wish to view. Then all it takes is for her to sweep one languid hand through the water around her and the whole surface will shimmer and then show that place and whatever’s happening there, not as a static image but as though watching it on video.

There are a couple of caveats to her magic, same as anyone else’s…..people have to be careful when asking her to show them what’s happening currently in a place, that they describe something about it that’s true of now for her to hone in on…because her magic can just as easily show those places in the past, and if they’re describing from memory, what Eloise shows them might actually be something out of date or no longer relevant. But then again, this also allows her to show specific events that have already happened, as long as someone provides something specific to that point in time for her to hone in on as well as the place. Also, there’s no sound to her moving images, which is why she usually just says something like “people are boring” when asked to hone in on what a particular person is doing right now instead of asking about showing a specific place. Only a few Changelings have figured out that Eloise is a lot sharper than she pretends to be and is perfectly capable of spying on any individual from the safety and privacy of her scrying pool….and does, for the right price or her own personal agendas.

Rashid - a twenty-year old blind Lebanese-American whose change takes the form of glowing beads of orange light that wrap around his arms and all the way up to his neck in double-banded spirals that usually take people a minute or two to place as just vaguely familiar, before the realize that the sight reminds them of a DNA helix.

Just as all Changelings’ magic takes something about who and what they are and just….amplifies that, externalizes it, makes them more of it in some kind of unique magical expression of that, Rashid’s natural scientific curiosity resulted in his magical ability to touch a thing and feel the building blocks that make it what it is, and if he wants to, break things down into those individual components.

There’s a wide array of ways he’s able to use this, beyond just exploring his own personal studies of things…..bring him a bloody weapon, and just by touching an unbloodied part of it he can name where the ore that weapon was made from was mined, as well as name whose blood is on it, and even whose fingerprint, if someone left one and it was handled by gloves afterward. The answers just come to him as names and place names, etc, and they don’t usually have context, so he can’t help beyond that if the names he mentions are unfamiliar to him or the person asking, he can’t tell where they are now….just that these are the basic truths he’s reading off the weapon he was handed, the things that combine to make it what it is now…the blade made of metal from this location, the fingerprint of this person, the blood of this person, etc.

And then on the more physical side of his magic, the breaking things down into their individual building blocks, one example of this is he can kinda distill something down into just what he or someone else wants it to be….like if he touches water that’s been poisoned or drugged, he can split it into just the pure unaltered water and then with the poison or toxin bubbling up to the surface like separating oil and water, easily then filtered out. Or he can touch a complicated piece of machinery or construction of some sort, and make it just tumble down into pieces of its individual components.

As with many other residents of Bordertown though, he’s got his secrets and his true limits are known only to a few. He’s one of the town’s earliest arrivals, back when they were all still fairly few in number and shaping their new society and what roles and degree of influence they would all occupy within it….so only a few remember that he early on established himself as being in the way of certain agendas of Theo’s, and in response, Theo sent one of his most dangerous assassins after him, a Changeling no one ever knew by any name other than the Doppelganger. Unfortunately for the Doppelganger, his own magic required putting his hands on his intended target to activate it…..and that was all Rashid needed to feel the essential building blocks of the Doppelganger and use his own talent first…..to strip the Doppelganger of his magic and leave him separated from it and as he was before his own Change.

Those who were aware of this feat have been careful not to speak of it since, or the reason Theo and his people so carefully avoid Rashid now. Leaving him as he likes it, sought out for his help in reading truths and other aspects of his skills, rather than known as one of the more dangerous Changelings and capable of something no other Changeling has ever managed. But that doesn’t mean nobody knows or remembers - after all, the Doppelganger hasn’t forgotten. And as far as he can tell, that magic that was stripped from him had to go somewhere….and he wants it back.

A quest that has him give Answers Alley a wide berth, as instead he seeks out Madame Midnight and promises any favor she wants from one of Bordertown’s most dangerous residents, if she can just help him regain his Change and his magic first…..

Hiromi, aka Compass Rose - a sixteen year old from Chicago originally, and a third generation Japanese-American, she shares a loft in the Aerie with five or so friends with their own flight-capable Changes, and just pops down to the small stall along Answers Alley that’s all she needs. She’s got a sign hanging on the front of it that declares “Don’t bother me unless you’ve already got your own ride back. Round trip service not provided.”

Hiromi’s Change makes her a mish-mash of flora and fauna….she’s got hawk-like eyes and her eyebrows are feathered, and she has short, dark hair that’s crowned by short, branching antlers between which sits her signature rose. From her back sprout two large, bat-like wings whose skeletal frame are actually made of branches rather than bone, and with the material of her wings being more akin to green leaves than feathers. Her wings are the largest thing about her, as she’s fairly tiny except for them, only about five feet tall, and nobody has any idea how they fly aerodynamically, other than well…magic.

But other than the innate magic powering her flight, Hiromi’s actual gift is a form of teleportation with very specific parameters….hence why she sends away anyone who hasn’t first procured the help of some other teleporter or transportation inclined Changeling before seeking her out. Once they do come back with another Changeling willing to help them return later, someone asks for her help finding something….could be a person, an item, or even something ephemeral, like the solution to a problem…..and Hiromi’s magic, a combination of teleportation and dowsing rod, activates upon her command and whips up a tiny miniature whirlwind around the asker and whomever they designate as their company for the trip, like another teleporting Changeling. And when her whirlwind dies down, they’re gone, having been teleported to the location of whatever it was they asked her help in finding. Even if it is something ephemeral like the solution they need to something….her magic can’t spell out for them how its the answer to their problem….just send them to where it is that they’ll find it, as long as they can figure out from there what it is about their surroundings that will help them.

Jackie - a twenty-one year old agender Native American of the Choctaw tribe, originally from Mississippi before coming to Bordertown, Jackie’s magic and Change make them the sum of not just their parts, but all their possible parts. Basically, Jackie’s appearance is like a flipbook, constantly flickering through all possible appearances they might take, making them a somewhat dizzying blur of constant albeit low-intensity motion. Even when they’re sitting totally still, their appearance isn’t, shifting hairstyles, colors, accessories, all without them doing anything at all.

The constant motion of their appearance does slow however, depending on how many aspects of themselves they split off to go accomplish various tasks…usually in pursuit of some knowledge, information or answer. Whenever they want to, they can kinda….shrug off one of the many dizzying possible appearances they have….which splits off to become another Jackie, standing right next to them, but with a steady, static appearance….as they’re only one of the seemingly infinite possible selves contained within Jackie.

This version of them has the same experiences, knowledge and even priorities of the original Jackie, as they’re all them, the same single person…..the second Jackie is just a specific iteration of the many possible ways they could be….them. And then these other Jackies, however many of them there are, can act independent of the original and go anywhere and do anything the original can. There’s no limit to how far they can range, or limit to how long they can remain separate, and they can fairly easily go about in mainstream public without attracting much attention, as they don’t have a Change of their own….they ARE the Change.

But then at any point they can and do all eventually return to the main Jackie and add their accumulated knowledge and experiences to the whole, and reshelving their appearance within the flicker-book of possible appearances and selves contained within Jackie.

#changelings 'verse #garrett and violet #assassination tango #cast of characters: answers alley

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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694

What song are you listening to right now? I’m not listening to anything but the last song I played was Violet by Daniel Caesar; I don’t actually know the song but it was part of a playlist on Spotify. Admit it -- you want a Snuggie. What design/color? I don’t even know what that is, but if it came in pink I’d want one. Do you prefer movies at home or movies at the theatre? Home is cozier and costs much less, haha. How many songs does your iTunes have? Ooh, I haven’t used my iTunes in like half a decade buuuut I think it peaked with around 400-500 songs? Idk, I didn’t explore much as a kid and I liked to stick with my favorite singers/bands. Do you take a shower in the morning or the night before? When I’m off school I like to shower at night - much more comfy that way, and I fall asleep faster. But when I have to leave the house whether to go to school, the mall, to crash at someone’s place, etc. I always bathe a few hours before. Always. I hateeeeee not feeling fresh when I go outside.

What's your academic niche? (History, math, science, etc.) History for sure, but there are some science topics I’m also okay in. Who's your youngest teacher? They’re all already pretty seasoned lol I can’t actually tell. I think it’s Ma’am Cai; welp, at least among my current professors, she’s the one that acts the youngest. Have you ever had the samples people offer you at Costco? I’ve never been in a Costco but I typically don’t get samples from our local groceries because idk, they just look nasty :/ The only samples I get are the free ones they hand over at Starbucks and Coffee Bean, haha. If you had to name your kid after a food, what would his/her name be? I’d take olives and turn it to Olivia, which was always my choice for a girl anyway. But if it really had to be food-inspired I’d go with... Brie for a girl, or Sage for a boy. Miley Cyrus: Inspirational role model or a ho? Get with the times, 2009 survey. This question won’t get away with that word today. Anyway, Miley is a badass. I never changed my mind about her, maybe except for that time she did that performance with Robin Thicke. Are you stressed about anything? Right now no. I’m on a six-week break, I wanna enjoy it without thinking about the stuff that would typically stress me out. When's the last time you had a rock, paper, scissors match? It’s been a few months. What's your favorite anime? I don’t watch anime... the only show I got into was Pokemon. Did you cry when Ash let his Butterfree go with the other Butterfrees? I vaguely remember that but I probably got sad over it when I was younger. Don't you hate it when Facebook auto-corrects your smiley faces and hearts? I don’t mind it. Skinny, flared, ripped, or faded jeans? Ugh I hate all of these. I have a lot of skinny jeans in my closet but they’re always a last resort - my go-to these days is mom jeans. What are you excited for? Meh, nothing in particular. I wanna say my birthday? but who knows what the world is gonna come to be by then. Are you part of the Farmville cult? No I never played. I wasn’t allowed to make a Facebook account at the time when games like that and Petville and Plants vs. Zombies were big. What were you for Halloween? Last year I went as Dora. AND IT WAS SO ANNOYING because the party we were invited to prohibited shorts??? And 1) Dora wore shorts and 2) I searched far and wide for a pair of orange shorts? It was the first time I heard of a dress code that strict for a college party lmao I couldn’t believe it. Thankfully Rita had just bought a pair of orange jeans so she let me borrow those. Have you ever had braces? Back in high school. What year of high school are you in? I am not. What's your favorite flower? Peonies. Would you ever bleach your hair? Probably not. My hair has faced enough damage. Have you ever stood on a frozen solid body of water? No. That sounds scary though. I’ve heard and watched people fall through ice :/ Would you ever take up smoking or drinking? I’m already doing both. Thanks, college and peer pressure! Do those girls with 1,000 friends on Facebook REALLY have that many? I dunno, who knows? It’s always possible. I have a bigger problem with the fact that this question just singled out girls lmao. What holiday is your birthday closest to? Uhh Earth Hour, if it counts? If not, we have Araw ng Kagitingan on April 9 which commemorates the Fall of Bataan during WWII. Are you cyberdyslexic? Is this even a thing? I’ve never heard of this until today. Are you regular dyslexic? No. Is there irregular dyslexia? :((( What would your name be if you were a boy? I don’t know. My parents didn’t think about this either I think. Which person from way back when would you love to hang out with? My great grandpa. Either him or his cousin who wrote a book on history. What color are your eyes? Dark brownnnnnnn ugh this will FOREVER be in surveys won’t it. The forever on-going question: Is Twilight stupid or actually brilliant? It’s so stupid. BUT I LOVE IT ok. Did you carve pumpkins for Halloween this year? No. We don’t do that here. Does your family use a real pine tree or a plastic one for Christmas? I think most households here use artificial trees. I was already a little old when I found out other countries would use real trees. Do you know anyone with a play-on name? (Chris P. Bacon, Justin Case, etc.) Not personally but super recently someone named their kid COVID BRYANT and it was all over social media for a few days. Covid Bryant. Let that shit sink in. Only Filipinos, man. Do you have any foreign exchange students at your school? Yeah, mostly Koreans and Japanese people. If you had a week to live, what would you do? I don’t have much of a choice, do I... I’m gonna be stuck at home and do the stuff I’ve already been doing in the last three weeks, and just hope I had fun.

Are you good at brain teasers? Some, but I don’t enjoy doing them in general. Is your handwriting nice? I can handle a pen pretty well, if I do say so myself. I have a neater penmanship than most people I know. What's your second language? English. Is it uncomfortable for you to take showers in glass stalls w/out curtains? Not really but the door has to be locked. Finish the sentence: Remember, remember... The fifth of November? I dunno why I know about that though. Did you understand Shakespeare? No. I always bought the No Fear Shakespeare editions cos I had absolutely no patience to try and understand the original text. What do you want to be when you're older? Rich. What's your favorite dog breed? Golden retriever or pitbull. Are you one of those people who take like, 50 Facebook quizzes at a time? I’ve never taken a Facebook quiz. What was the last shot you got? It was at the roof of my mouth, back when I had a tooth extraction. Ever gotten cavities? A few times. Can you differentiate between the words "your" and "you're?" Yes. Do you use hair ties as bracelets? Lmao always. Don’t most girls do this? What was the last school project you did that you couldn't wait to turn in? My book report for my business journalism class. After I proofread it like 6 times and triple-checked the word count, I couldn’t waitttt to get rid of it. Have you ever graded papers? Sure. I’ve said it in past surveys, but my org hosts journalism workshops to interested schools, whether they’re in elementary, high school, or college. At the end of the day they have to come up with their own articles, and then we check each of them, correct the mistakes, grade them, and give it back to them with our comments. What was your favorite year of school up to this point? Third year of high school. I don’t really have a favorite year of college... I had lows in each of them. What's the latest you've ever woken up? 11 AM. Can you recite the alphabet backwards? For a time I did cos Angela taught me. Then I just never sang it again so I ended up forgetting. If you could master one language in thirty minutes, what would it be? Korean. Are you a sucker for foreign accents? No. Sometimes I find it hard to understand. Where were you born? Is it the same place you live currently? I was born somewhere in Manila, and I live faaar away from there now. How often do you remember your dreams? What did you last dream about? Only if I note them down on my phone. The last dream I remember having was too lengthy for me to want to type it all down, but it involved me and Gabie being exes, and she had her own kid hahaha. When did you learn the ninja turtles were named after Renaissance artists? Pretty early, I guess. I’ve never seen the show though. Do you do yoga? Nope.

#survey #surveys

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paulisweeabootrash · 4 years

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Pokémon 2.B.A. Master

I stumbled across a piece of weeb trash media I had heard of, but neither attempted nor expected to find. And it’s a bit different. Today, my friends, we are not doing an anime or manga, or even another novel. We’re doing a tie-in music album, a American blatant cash-grab based on a Japanese franchise. Oh no. Oh yes.

Pokémon 2.B.A. Master (1999)

As a young weeblet, I was a regular watcher of the first two arcs of Pokémon (Kanto and Johto). It was in both weekday and weekend timeslots, and never seemed to be broadcast in any sensible order, but I nonetheless watched it frequently and enjoyed it no matter how many times WB decided to rerun episodes I’d already seen. At some point, this CD came out, and I remember seeing ads for it when it was new. There were even televised music videos for a few of the songs, broadcast as a segment called “Pikachu’s Jukebox”. I never saw a copy of the album in person, and never expected to. Maybe it was one of those that you had to order by calling some number? I don't remember (or, frankly, care enough to look it up). Anyway, I recently encountered this in the small music section of a used book store, and I figured "why not?" And the obvious answer is "most of the contents".

The cover, in addition to using proud and unironic Comic Sans for the subtitle "2.B.A. Master", boasts that the album contains both "Music From The Hit TV Series" and "10 Brand New Songs!" The former refers obviously to the main theme of the show and every child's favorite mnemonic device, the PokéRap (or “PokéRAP” as it’s spelled for some reason?), but I'm not sure what the third song from the show is. And again, I don’t care enough to look it up. The important thing is, John Loeffler wrote all of them, and apparently an absurd number of other Pokémon-related songs. The "Brand New Songs!" here are mostly new to me, and they’re... a doozy. Except for the songs from the show, plus “Double Trouble” and maybe “Misty’s Song” if I want to be very generous, I am tempted to suggest you could get a similar musical experience in a shorter time by putting on an episode of Pokémon, playing a mix of Milli Vanilli and Boyz II Men songs over it, and banging your head against a wall.

1. Pokémon Theme

We begin with the extended version of the classic theme, this is a sure dose of nostalgia for anyone who watched the show. It sounds, considering the release date, a little outdated — I get kind of a "Beat It" vibe, not from the melody, but from the instrumentation, combining 80s-gated drums and searing electric guitar. But the theme, already one of the few TV themes out there I find enjoyable and not instantly forgettable, extends to a full length surprisingly well, avoiding getting boring or devolving into complete idiocy with lyrics. I actually like this song as a song, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

2. 2B A Master

The instrumentation in this track is absurdly 90s, and again kind of Michael Jackson-y, but is interesting and varied, especially in the sudden attention-grabbing rhythmic change accompanying the line "the greatest master of Pokémon". It shows better restraint in its use of things like record scratch noises and basslines running parallel to vocal lines that I find get really old really quickly. I actually, on the whole, enjoy this song and think the music could have been the basis for something great. “Could have” being the keyword. Lest you think I'm going to give a rosy, loving review of this album, no, it quickly gets bad. Some of the lyrics feel like such forced attempts to get Pokémon references in that I am embarrassed on behalf of the people stuck singing and rapping them, 20 years later. It’s a waste of what could’ve been a fun funky song. (Incidentally, why is the title of the song punctuated differently from the title of the album?)

3. Viridian City

The slide downhill continues. What the hell is this song? The lyrics are only marginally less stupid than the previous track, the music sounds like a keyboard "dance" preset, and it has a weird rapped/spoken "echoing" of sung lines it’s incredibly hard to imagine anyone ever liked. Ugh.

4. What Kind of Pokémon Are You?

Third time's the charm, I guess? After the previous two tracks tried and failed to force Pokémon-related lyrics that just don't work, this one at least manages to fire off a series of type-related puns. The music, however, turns back towards gratingly boring (and for some reason, the bridge comes thisclose to ripping off "Eye of the Tiger"?). Actually, no, hahaha, the lyrics remain very stupid, I think I'm just getting "ground down by a Marowak" by how bad the preceding tracks were.

5. My Best Friends

The parts move in unison too closely for my tastes, the lyrics are bland, the vocal arrangement makes it sound downright inappropriately dramatic, and what’s up with the bridge that veers off into doo-wop? The main thing this song has going for it is the vaguely pleasant piano part in the verses, which really appeals to me (it sounds familiar, although I can’t place what specifically it reminds me of). The melody of the chorus sounds even more familiar — so familiar in fact I'm starting to wonder if it's a copyright-violation-skirting ripoff of something famous. But otherwise, this is a solid “meh”, sounding like a boy band song that would only briefly have made the charts.

6. Everything Changes

And now we're back to impressions of Michael Jackson. This one's instrumentation and mood and even bits of the melody are so him that I could almost believe you if you told me this was an outtake that didn't make it onto Bad. (Although the singer sounds less like Jackson the longer the song goes on.) The lyrics, although vaguely applicable to everything, are a welcome change from the previous few tracks by not feeling like Pokémon has been painfully shoehorned in... up until the part where a clip from the show plays during a break between choruses. Ugh. Could you really not come up with a better way to make this into a distinctly Pokémon song?

7. The Time Has Come (Pikachu's Goodbye)

Yuck. The sentimental ballad (I want to call it a “power ballad”, but I’m unsure what exactly counts as one), as a general rule, is a fire hose full of melodrama best used for comedy. I don't understand how songs like this have ever been taken seriously. I would expect to hear this as the ending theme to a movie that tries to be a tragedy but can’t quite pull it off.

8. Pokémon (Dance Mix)

I assumed from the title that this was a remix of the theme song, but instead, it's just sort of a filler track... It makes almost no impression on me at all, although I do enjoy the intro’s use of "backward-sounding" and morphing synths. Otherwise, this is another track that sounds like it uses keyboard preset backgrounds.

9. Double Trouble (Team Rocket)

Okay, look, I can’t rate this one fairly. The longest-running fandom-related internal conflict of my life has been whether I'd rather be James or have James as mai hasubando, and I love Team Rocket in general as comedy relief villains. I used to enthusiastically perform their ridiculous introductory speech with a friend from band camp (I am even more of a geek than you thought). This song actually bothers to be more specific in terms of its Pokémon subject matter, meaning this is finally a song about Pokémon rather than just a generic pop song with Pokémon flavor, and it uniquely is performed by voice actors from the show, namely those who played Jesse, James, Meowth, and Giovanni. It really grates on me when the VAs talk over the singers, but unlike some of the other songs, it feels like it builds up and goes somewhere. We have at least broken free from the boringness of the last few tracks, with almost industrial percussion and chromatic and sometimes dissonant bass and synth lines that really make it a solid villain song, even though it has a hokey “rap written by people who haven’t actually listened to any rap” feel. And James’s absolutely ludicrous laugh will absolutely alienate who isn’t already a fan of the character, and most people who are, too.

10. Together Forever

The “disappointing imitation of Michael Jackson” theme returns, this time mostly in the voice. It especially pops out at me with the pronunciation of "friend" as "fraynnnndah!". Unfortunately, rather than trying to imitate Jackson’s songwriting again, this song seems to want to rip off Stock Aitken Waterman. And it succeeds at that, too well, as it somehow manages to outcompete a song those writers wrote for Rick Astley to be the worst song with this title. Also returning here: the use of clips from the show to clumsily force an otherwise generic song to be Pokémon-related. Hooray.

11. Misty's Song

Huh. Now this one is interesting. Buried deep in the album, we get something from a character POV that doesn’t just set trivia or quotes from the show to music. Yvette Laboy does a believable job filling in as the singing counterpart for Rachel Lillis's speaking voice for Misty, and I just don't find it nearly as ridiculous as the other ballads on the album, for some reason. It even portrays a tsundere as insecure rather than just an obnoxious walking trope! Sure, it's not great, but it's not bad either, especially after the other attempted ballads on here. Until you remember that it's a 14-year-old singing a love song to a 10-year-old, which... ick. It could've been sweet if put in the mouth of another character with a more age-appropriate relationship. Anyone want to rerecord this as “Kaname's Song” or something?

12. PokéRAP

Oh, educational rap. Why? It’s just unbearably cheesy and doesn’t seem to have had much thought put into it, as a general rule. And this song is no exception. Sure, I guess it has value as a mnemonic exercise (and it does a decent job of that, as anyone who still has large chunks of it memorized can tell you), but no value as music. It often doesn’t even come close to rhyming where you’d expect it to, and it's obvious that Loeffler et al weren't sure what to do with a few of the names at all — Grimer and Chansey have egregious pauses after them, for example, and Omastar is stretched across space enough for two or three names for no good reason. It is broken into convenient-sized stanzas that are only somewhat awkwardly forced into the established meter, but that meter has a too-regular feel, bouncing like a musical Superball, that even I, someone with no particular knowledge of nor interest in rap, recognize as being cheesier than Vanilla Ice. It also hasn’t aged well. The sung parts have absolutely no dynamic range and stay at MAXIMUM DRAMA LEVEL at all times. Over the past 20 years, the lyrics have also become obsolete due to the many additional generations of Pokémon media and consequently much longer list of Pokémon to memorize. Those topics have been covered in excruciating detail by Brian David Gilbert, who is much cleverer than I am, and yes, I do highly recommend sitting through that entire half-hour video. All I can really add to that is, it's considerably less annoying than certain other mnemonic songs I was exposed to growing up. A bad song, unless you’re viewing it through sheer unfiltered silliness? Yes. A surprisingly catchy song that was a good marketing move? Also yes. And 20+ years later, I still can't avoid laughing at the way he says "Wartortle".

13. You Can Do It (If You Really Try)

The album could've gone out on that upbeat note, but no, they had to go for another overblown ballad, this time trying far too hard to be inspirational. The plus side is, it's not yet another generic 80s/90s pop song. The minus side is, it sounds like something that would be playing on the PA in a church thrift store. Or a fake ad on an episode of SNL. I do not feel empowered by this level of unironic encouragement. I just feel like my eyes are rolling so hard they'll fall out. Its only saving grace is that it’s somehow not the most irritating inspirational ballad from the late 90s that was used in connection with a geek-magnet TV show.

Overall... Although I want to describe the music as being "generic" — and it is full of the tiredest parts of 80s and 90s music, wandering from orchestra hits to record scratch noises to cutesy synthesizer "dings" to what seem to be several different singers' bad Michael Jackson impressions — some of it is actually interesting! See, no matter what impression you got from what I said above, I don’t categorically hate this style of music. I made multiple comparisons to songs from Thriller and Bad because I think most of the songs on those albums are examples of how to do this genre very well. But 2.B.A. Master doesn’t just lag because I’m comparing it to widely-beloved albums. Writing this review actually sent me introspecting for quite a while about what music I enjoy and why. And I realized, many of the cheesiest and most flawed aspects of this album are also present on less-acclaimed albums I enjoy very much, like the niche The Golden Age of Wireless by Thomas Dolby and the virtually-unknown Playgrounds ‘n’ Glass by Urban Blight. But, while Dolby’s music often has the same cheesy synthesizer voices and lack of dynamics or has weirdly melodramatic moments, it’s also often clearly experimenting with particular effects and techniques, and his lyrics have evocative images or stories that make the songs really engaging. And, while Urban Blight’s lyrics are often cliche-ridden or downright idiotic, the 80s/90s pop music instrumentation and style elements are varied and used with... for lack of a better term, more discretion, I guess?, which makes me feel like their songs are building to something musically. Well, except the song “Favorite Flavor”, which is just garbage.

The point is, while neither of those examples is a great album (at least not to my taste, which I freely admit colors this), they are both still good. Unfortunately, while some songs on 2.B.A. Master approach goodness, they are the exception, not the rule. Most of the music is simple and predictable and seem to use the more grating tropes of the time like orchestra hits and record-scratch noises just because they can, and most of the lyrics are less "song about Pokémon" and more "attempts at being vaguely inspirational with Pokémon references forced in uncomfortably". Some of the songs are enjoyable in a "this was an earnest attempt” and/or guilty pleasure sort of way (and I unironically like the B-52s, so believe me, I know "this was an earnest attempt” and/or guilty pleasure music), but there’s very little on here I’d actually call good. The best track here musically, “2B A Master”, is wasted on blah lyrics, and the one that most accomplishes the goal of being a song about Pokémon, “Double Trouble”, suffers greatly from its speaking-over-the-singers vocal performance. All I can say is, I’m glad I got this album used.

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W/A/S Scores: 3/0/7

Weeb: The lyrics require some prior specific knowledge of the Pokémon anime to not be completely baffling, but Pokémon is probably the most well-known and well-entrenched Japanese franchise on this side of the Pacific, and other than that, it’s decidedly American, or at least decidedly within the musical cultures of Western Europe and the Anglosphere.

Ass: No.

Shit: AAAAAAAAH. Okay, okay, no, seriously, there are a few good points, but it’s at best average-quality 90s pop with a veneer of Pokémon over the top.

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Oh Weird: While writing this and hunting down appropriate links, I was surprised to see how many uploads of, and even covers of, songs from this album there are on Youtube. I assumed this album was a more or less forgotten piece of bad 90s media, but apparently it’s one with a significant fanbase.

Oh Cool: Maddie Blaustein, the original English-language voice actress for Meowth was also a comic editor and writer for both Marvel and DC and the Creative Director for the Weekly World News. Oh, and she was intersex and, according to one of the sources cited by the Wikipedia article, bi.

Oh No: Educational rap is still a thing, and there are resources to make your own.

#weeaboo trash #album review #pokémon #Pokémon 2.B.A. Master

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anistarrose · 6 years

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Some Sunny Day - Ch. 1: Prologue (Gravity Falls Same Coin Theory)

Summary: Time isn’t linear, Stan has a catchy piano tune stuck in his head, and blue flames threaten to consume the peace that the Pines family has found.

Warnings: None for this chapter

Next chapter

AO3

(Based off the Same Coin Theory by @dubsdeedubs and @renmorris, a longtime favorite theory of mine!)

The gryphon they encountered on the rocky Alaskan island was nothing like those that Stanford had met before. The near-omniscience was impressive enough, but given what he knew about gryphon vocal cords, Ford almost thought the fluent English was even more extraordinary. Almost.

“Stanford and Stanley Pines,” it addressed them, not moving its beak at all. “Though you’ve both gone by other names at different times — most notably in Stanley’s case, of course.”

It gently floated to the ground, then folded up its wings and began to groom (preen?) its chest fur.

“I’d appreciate it if you put your weapons away,” it told them. “Though I don’t blame you for that sort of reaction. I am something an outlier among my family.”

It spoke the word family in a way that made Ford suspect it was referring to its entire species. And seeing as this gryphon was the only one they’d met that hadn’t tried to eat them, Ford was inclined to agree with it.

“Of course. We apologize,” Ford told it, holstering his gun. He noticed that the gryphon was a bit smaller than the ones he’d seen before, though not drastically, and its wings were a darker dappled brown instead of the usual beige. Were the biological differences a result of its unique abilities, he wondered, or were those abilities an adaptation made in response to the disadvantages the biological differences caused? Being nothing if not a scientist, he couldn’t help but ask.

“If you don’t mind the question, what is it that makes you you? What is the cause of this outlier status?”

The gryphon tilted its head at him like a dog expecting a treat. Ford supposed it didn’t get very many chances to talk about its talents — or talk to anyone, really — in this barren environment.

“You could probably trace it all back to my precognizance,” it told him. “I can see into many different times, but knowledge of the future was what changed me most.”

Stan narrowed his eyes. “Oh yeah? Give us an example of this future knowledge.”

Ford could relate to Stan’s skepticism. Most people would have believed it without a second thought — the gryphon had addressed them by name, after all — but being raised by a fake psychic tended to make you suspicious of such things.

“Gladly,” the gryphon replied. “First of all: there is a reunion awaiting in your future.”

Aware of the usual cold reading tricks, Stan and Ford stayed silent, careful not to give the gryphon any extra information.

“You’ll return to a familiar situation, but you aren’t trapped in a cycle — there once was a cycle, but you’ve already broken out of it. You will, however, reminisce on past mistakes, and the correction of those mistakes. And you’ll both find answers to questions you didn’t know you had — at least not consciously.”

It paused. “Is that sufficient? I don’t want to go and spoil everything, you know.”

Stan and Ford exchanged a look.

“The ‘reunion’ thing means spendin’ another summer with the kids, I guess?” Stan suggested.

“Probably.” They had indeed been planning to reunite with the kids in Gravity Falls next month. “Returning to a familiar place… that’s Gravity Falls, of course, but I have no idea what cycle we used to be trapped in.”

“Petty arguments and grudges?”

“Fair enough, I suppose. But what about the questions we didn’t know we had?”

“Well, right now we don’t know we have ‘em, duh.”

Ford sighed. The predictions were vague, but the more specific parts seemed plausible. Only the passage of time would allow him to seriously assess their accuracy… though Stan, for his part, had taken the whole thing (relatively) seriously, which meant he probably believed it was real. And given how skilled Stan was at spotting scams, his gut instinct was more than good enough for Ford, even as unscientific as it was.

“That’s sufficient. We believe you,” Ford told the gryphon. “But if you don’t mind, how exactly did you gain this ability? Is it inherent, or acquired?”

The gryphon spread its wings — preparing to take flight, Ford realized. He knew gryphons didn’t like staying in one place for too long, but he’d hoped this particular one would stick around for a bit longer — he just had so many questions…

“Time isn’t linear,” it said, “you of all people should realize that.”

(Was it just Ford’s imagination, or did the gryphon look briefly at Stanley?)

“That means that seeing the future really isn’t all that difficult. A lot of people can do it — at least to some extent — if they’re taught the right way. But if you must know — well, I can’t go spilling all of my secrets, but I will leave you with this: there is a being I am indebted to in many ways, a being that itself sees many things that from your perspective are yet to come.”

For a second, Ford was afraid that that was all they were going to get, that the gryphon would fly away and leave them with only questions and no answers. But then, it added:

“Stanford Pines, I believe you’ve heard of the Axolotl during your travels?”

And with that, it took to the sky and didn’t look back.

Well, that was an answer that just raised more questions in its place, Ford thought, his mind whirling as Stan gave him a concerned look. But I’ll take it. I’ll definitely take it.

“Ford? Earth to Ford?” Stan asked. He may have repeated it a couple times; Ford wasn’t really sure. “I’m guessing you do know something?”

“Yes, something. You could say that,” Ford finally answered. “Let’s get back to the boat and pray we have an Internet connection. There are a lot of things I want look into.”

***

“We’ll meet again…”

Stan was by no means a good singer, but Ford thought he’d gotten used to it over the past eight months. And really, he was used to it — it was just the song that he couldn’t bear to listen to.

“Don’t know where, don’t know when…”

He was trying to ignore it, to not make a big deal out of something he shouldn’t have cared about, not after the better part of a year had passed, but —

“But I know we’ll meet again, some —”

“Could you shut it already?” Ford snapped, slamming his fist onto the rail of the Stan O’ War II with more force than he’d intended and instantly regretting it. Not so much because it hurt his hand (though it was a little painful), but because he worried how Stan might react to it — not well, that was for certain.

But Stan just gave him a look that was more concerned than hurt. “Whoa, Poindexter, I’ve been singin’ for about six seconds. Somethin’ wrong?”

Ford looked down. “I’m sorry, I just… I don’t like that song. Do you think you could sing something else?” He could have elaborated on why that song unnerved him so much, and Stan probably would have understood right away, but Ford had stayed up unhealthily late the past night researching and wasn’t in the mood to talk about Weirdmageddon.

And Stan couldn’t have possibly have believed him that it was that simple — Ford never snapped at him unless he did something remarkably stupid or unintentionally triggered a painful memory, and Stan wasn’t doing anything remotely stupid or risky at the moment — but he didn’t question Ford.

“Meh, my voice is kinda tired anyway.” It was a blatant lie, and the attempt to change the topic that he followed it up with was just as blatant. “So, you figure out anything else about that salamander god?”

Ford accepted the escape route Stan had offered him. “Well, technically I suppose I have, but not nearly as much as I would have liked.”

They’d spent three days sailing south since the gryphon encounter, and despite their Internet connection holding out far better than Ford had ever dreamed of, he’d hadn’t been able to find very many things that he hadn’t already known.

“It manifested itself to countless groups across the multiverse, I’m sure of that, but it seems that the only surviving records in our dimension were created by the Aztecs. And you know I’ve already read nearly everything there is to read about their god Xolotl.”

“Yeah, god of ‘twins and deformities.’ You’ve had that obsession since, like, middle school.” Stan tried not to pronounce the names of the god or the amphibian if he could avoid them. “And you even had one of the pink frilly guys in your lab.”

“I wish we could visit Mexico to conduct more research of our own,” Ford mused. “I have a vague idea for a summoning ritual, but I need more…” He paused as Stan’s words sank in.

“Yeah, too bad the kids will never forgive us if we skip out on them this summer to search for a magical fish lizard,” Stan told him, not realizing anything was wrong. “And I can’t remember what name my all my arrest warrants in Mexico were put out under…”

“Stanley, wait. You said you found an axolotl in my lab?”

Stan blinked. “Yeah, the one in the fish tank. I was afraid I was gonna accidentally kill him or somethin’ after you… ya know, fell through the portal, ‘cause I didn’t know what to feed him or how to clean his tank, but the little guy stuck around almost until you got back. You… you knew about it, right?”

“Almost until I got back?!” Ford asked. “Axolotls can live for fifteen years if they’re cared for well, but twice that?!”

“Yeah, I always wondered if you did some weird spell on it or somethin’. But… you really didn’t know about it?”

“I never kept an axolotl in the Shack,” Ford confirmed. “I honestly would have loved to have one as a pet, but I didn’t have the time to take care of one. They require a specific type of food, a specific temperature range, a specific type of materials in their tank… I can’t imagine any way one could have gotten there by natural means!”

“Would it freak you out more if I told you it just disappeared a couple days after the kids showed up last summer? Literally nothin’ left behind, like it dissolved in the tank or somethin’?”

Ford slammed his hand against his forehead. “Stanley, I can’t believe you had a ghost axolotl in your house for three decades and never brought it up until now.”

“Hey, how am I supposed to know what’s normal for pink salamanders? They could have all lived that long and disappeared like that, and I would have sounded like an idiot for bringing it up!”

Ford shook his head. “It has to all be connected!” For about the seventh time, he regretted not bringing a bulletin board and red string with him on the Stan O’ War II. “Your axolotl, the god Xolotl, the countless references I’ve heard across the multiverse to a benevolent creature that guards against evil and patronizes those with prophetic ability…”

“So… you really think it was the Axolotl in that tank all those years?”

“I think it’s quite probable. But… just what would the Axolotl want with you, Stanley?”

***

Ford had fretted over the Axolotl for several more minutes before they encountered what had to have been some sort of cursed seagull — no normal bird could possibly crap that much, right? — and their attention was very quickly drawn elsewhere.

As they were cleaning up the aftermath of the attack, Ford mentioned something about the Axolotl probably knowing that Stan was destined to defeat Bill, but he quickly abandoned the thought to continue cursing out seagulls in every alien language he knew. The explanation must have at least partially satisfied him, though, since when they went ashore that evening Ford fell asleep almost immediately in the hotel.

“I’d still like to do more research, of course,” he told Stan before completely losing consciousness. “Maybe we could sail south after this summer, visit the region where the Axolotl manifested himself as Xolotl. But I do think it’s likely that he paid you a visit knowing about your eventual role in Cipher’s downfall.”

Stan wasn’t as satisfied, for reasons he couldn’t quite pin down. Rare were the times when Stan was the twin lying awake at night, thinking about the day’s unsolved mysteries, but tonight, for whatever reason, he’d transformed into the resident sleepless conspiracy theorist.

He had a weird gut feeling telling him there was something he was missing — forgetting? — about the Axolotl, and he’d learned to trust his gut over the years — it had saved him so many times he’d lost track. His subconscious apparently knew a hell of a lot more than he did — though that really wasn’t much of an achievement, he figured.

There was a weird sense of urgency to his gut feeling today. Stan wasn’t sure he’d be able to describe it if he’d tried. There was just a hard-to-explain emotion — not really fear, he didn’t think, but definitely not a positive emotion, either — that rose up in his chest whenever he thought of the future: of returning to Gravity Falls, of reuniting with Dipper and Mabel and everyone else, of actually traveling to Mexico with Ford one day to learn more about and maybe even meet the Axolotl.

Big things are coming, he thought. And I can’t stop them.

Then he thought, Come on, Stan, you’re getting as paranoid as Sixer. Next thing you’re going to be keeping a diary all written in code.

So he ignored his gut and let himself fall asleep, a familiar tune about reunions and clouds and sunlight running through his head just as it had been ever since leaving that barren Alaskan island.

L wrog brx wkdw zh’g phhw djdlq Vdlg L glgq’w nqrz zkhuh ru zkhq. Exw qrz wkh vxq lv vklqlqj Vr pdbeh zh’oo uhdolch L’p qrw frplqj edfn RQH GDB — L’yh EHHQ edfn iru rxu zkroh olyhv.

Thanks for reading, feedback is appreciated as always!

I’m aiming for weekly updates, but I can’t promise anything, especially if I’m struck with inspiration for other unrelated one-shots and the like. I have the whole plot planned out, and completed fic will probably be about 14 total chapters, plus or minus two.

#gravity falls #same coin theory #stanley pines #stanford pines #bill cipher #the axolotl #fic: some sunny day #rosalia writes fic #i am truly excited to share this fic #(partly bc it's the first multichapter fic i'm posting #and partly because i'm just so excited about this theory/concept!)#this is just the prologue so it's just setting up themes and foreshadowing #but (bill voice) big things are coming #you can't stop me #seriously the next chapter is almost done #and i am very proud and hyped to share it

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tumblunni · 6 years

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MORE UPDATES ON THINGS WHAT HAPPEN

The half week milestone of the hospital house thingie time! I think the term they use for it is "a residential stay"? Cos like its not a hospital its a shared housing block thats just full of doctors. I get to sleep in a real bed and there's a nice community room and board game nights and stuff. But its still really scary how intense the supervision can be! Like they have a window to look into your room once per hour every hour constantly. And they have to go through your undies and catalog them as part of the possessions check. I was not warned about that and it was mega embarassing trying to explain a binder to a bunch of old lady doctors! Oh and i had yo do a urine test today which was possibly the most fuckin embarassing thing in the actual universe. And you're not even allowed to take your own pills! They keep them locked in a big ominous wall of lockers and you have to come into the office and swallow the pill while theyre watching. I guess maybe because some people might be faking their illness and selling their pills on the black market or whatever? But that literally doesnt happen with antidepressants, they have no 'high' or even any effect at all on non-sick people. So it just makes no sense to me and its real embarassing cos like i said i suck at taking pills with plain water and without a straw. The ones i take are real damn chunky things the size of my thumbnail! I think i'l get better at not (literally) choking under pressure over time, tho. Hopefully.

Anyway that's all the bad out of the way! Now the good and the neutral and the just miscellaneous!

Its still nervewracking having to shower in a shared house but they have a cool walk-in shower and ive never tried one of those so it was vaguely interesting. And im allowed to take my showers early at 6am to minimize the chance of anyone else trying to use the door, lol. My biggest fear is having some staff member walk in on me when im naked like back in that homeless hostel. Oh or that time in the homeless hostel where the teenage boys filled the entire bathroom with inflated condoms wall to wall. Like wow so much damn effort to prank the stupid nervous bunni who probably would have been embarassed by literally anything else. Man this place is bringing so many memories of that homeless hostel but at least this time its a place specifically for sick people and they know i'm anxious doing shared cooking and board games and whatever so they dont make fun of me for it. But in a lot of ways that hostel had more freedoms too.. *shrug*

Anyway! A good! I get to have cooking lesson!! I know literally nothing about cooking and now i get to know several thing!! This nice doctor called Josie taught me how to make an omelette and i tasted ham for the first time! That is just how limited my life experiences are, lol. Oh and they want me to say that she's a 'mental health worker' not a doctor, but its all real confusing?? Like they have the staff that look after you and then the only ones we're supposed to call doctors are the ones who actually have the authority to prescribe pills and diagnosies. But like if youre in a hospital you'd call them all doctors, not just the actual surgeon? Or i guess theyre kinda like nursing home staff?? But they cant be support workers cos support workers are specific government assigned inspector type guys like Richard who only meet with you once a week.and i have to remember to not call him a social worker either cos social workers only work with family and custody related stuff. I dunno?? Basically the medical industry has a lot of names that dont really describe what the actual thing is, lol. Anyway the ham omelette was great and now im gonna try and remember so i can try and make it myself next time! HAM ACCOMPLISHED

Also i played bingo with a few other patients and it was fun but funny that i lost 6 times in a row when there were only 3 of us. I got a consolation prize of a pack of neon highlighter pens so hell yeah!!

I'm getting booked in to try some additional classes starting next week on monday and tuesday morning. The computer programming one was sadly unavailable, but i managed tp snag a place in "confidence building group therapy" and "basic how to use power tools". I wasnt really all that interested in that one but i thought it would be a useful skill even if its less fun. And maybe you get to actyally make something to take home at the end? A lil shelf to help organize this awkward lil room better, maybe?

And an unexpected bonus of being semi-hospitalized is that i get a free bus pass! And cos im here cos of my social anxiety theyre gonna help me get outside more and actually use this thing to the fullest! The first thing we did was the trip to actually get the bus pass itself. It was like "bus, take my money to take me to the place where i can never give you money again!" XD Ive been really stupidly nervous about going on tne bus in my old neighbourhood cos MAN it was really isolated there and everything just amplified my mental illness. An almost two hour bus ride to get to ANY SHOPS AT ALL, with only one bus for the whole town so it was always crowded and full of screaming kids and gossipy everyones. Social anxiety: maximum level proud mode!

So yeah i feel BIG ACCONPLISHED! I was able to take this bus for the first time with a doctor coming with me. Power Grandpa The Strong. His actual name is Paul and he has awesome sleeve tattoos of like anchors and dragons and sports teams and stuff! And he likes thrift stores and wearing silly hats too! Its like he's powerful enough to wrestle away everyone's anxieties! I was able to be a bit reckless too and i went out wearing my fave shirt thats like trans pride coloured plaid. A POWERFUL SHIRT IS REQUIRED FOR THIS QUEST! so we went to the office to register this bus pass and i panicked a bit cos apparantky we brought the wrong form and i wrote my name in the wrong box and then my passport photo looked terrible and aaa! But it all worked out and i was kinda freaking out for nothing. And he took me for a lil tour of the place and showed me this cool shop that does spray paint tye dye t shirts with spiderman on them?? Why does this incredibly specific shop exist and how have i never heard of it before?? There was also a new harry potter shop next to the disney shop, and the old used book store i used to visit as a kid was still there, complete with rickety spiral staircase and ominous basement trap door. I'm still not brave enough to go down there, but apparantly its just the history books section so meh. Then we actually went to a fancy coffee shop and i had this brain freeze mango ice frappucchino thing! Im trying all the new foods!!

And i was TOO HIGH ON DECADENCE and made a RECKLESS CHOICE! i blame power gramp's amazing tattoos, they were totally whispering to me that i shoukd screw the rules and ride off into the sunset on a metaphorical harley davidsen of mental health

So i was like Hey Paul I Am Totally Fine Getting Home On My Own, and it was like i was floating off in the distance somewhere begging my body to not speaketh these words. But it ended up working out okay! The excitement of it all and the sense of accomplishmebt from getting there all okay allowed me to mostly not freak out as i spent the day in town and looked at some shops and stuff. Basic Living Skills: Completed! I chilled out in the library (tho i dont have a card yet, alas!) and visited like five comic and anime stores, and got lost but found a Pizza Hut and that was SO NOSTALGIC FOR MY CHILDHOOD and it didnt taste quite as good as i remembered but the waiter guy was super nice and had a similar shirt and it was All Good! Oh and i gave all my money to a homeless person and that's why i'm broke now. And i bought a plastic slug! I just saw it from across the room and was like OH NO I AM BEING MAGNETISED TOWARDS IT OH NO IT HAS ALREADY BEEN BOUGHT. I need to think of a name for this new friend!!

So yeh i got home okay and i felt really acconplished and that was the furthest trip away that i've taken in ages! Man my mental illness makes me feel pathetic, but it also brings ridiculously big joys from the smallest of silly acconplishys!

Oh and thank you so much to the people who sent me emails! It really helped so much to keep me from giving up during the first few days before i made a bit of progress and felt like i could really do this, yknow? Especially big thanks tp the friend who sent me that mysterious super happy song that they found on a mystery disc in a german market?? Im still not sure whether its in greek or hasidic jewish but it sounds AMAZING and i hope someday i can figure out the band so i can hear their other singles!

Ok this is bunni out! BIG HUGS FOR THE EVERYONE AAAA

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warmbeebosoftbeebo · 7 years

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What Happens in Hawaii...

I'm meh about the title; open to suggestions. A messager on tumblr requested a smut fic with a heavy, curvy woman of colour reader. And I managed to write some damn not smutty plot instead for the first 1500 or so words. Part 1 is the set up, and the plottiest I've been in imagines. The current bf/ex bf is abusive, but it doesn't go into it in depth. I’m thinking this is late 08/early 09 timewise.

ummm... @sinning-urie @prettyoddfiction anyone else wanna get tagged when i post? @kinkybden ?

-----

You're on vacation with your boyfriend when you meet him. You're on a walk, cooling off from the upteenth fight you and asshat have had lately, wondering why the hell you thought shit would get better if only you'd go together to Hawaii to "reconnect." You'd rather reconnect the door with the door frame as you left, slamming it shut. You go to the beach, calming down as you watch the sunset, sun still keeping you so warm, covering your brown eyes with your hand. You forgot your damn sunglasses. Prick.

You hear a man and a woman, realizing they are a couple as their whisper-shouting argument gets clearer as they come closer; she almost shouting, him far quieter. "Brendon, I can't believe... I thought those were jokes!... You can't seriously expect me to be ok with that." You're instinctively on her side--he probably fucked up big time, pulled some entitled male bullshit and hurt her seriously.

But as they come closer, you can hear him, too. "I've never lied... Remember that....I told you then...last year."

"Come the fuck off it. I mean, maybe it'd be one thing if it were just in your early teens, but you... last month?!? You can't expect me to be ok with you being a faggot." With that word, the sympathy you had for her largely drains away, replaced with a slowly bubbling anger towards her instead. It sounds like he cheated, which obviously is not ok, but it seems like that's not really what she's upset about: the homosexuality or bisexuality is.

She shouts, he talks a bit more, but you're too busy thinking to pick up on it all, and besides, you're feeling like an...auditory voyeur. You don't want to hear his humiliation, and you wonder if she'll regret her words later, or feel righteous. You breathe a sigh of relief as she storms off, unsure if you should just pretend you heard nothing, or give him a concilliatory smile, or what.

You see him on the verge, then he tips over into it, and ok, you should try to help: it looks like he's having a full on panic attack. You pull the hairband off your wrist, pulling your black hair into a ponytail as you walk over to him. "H-hey, you ok?" you say awkardly; he sure doesn't seem so, that's why you're coming over, and you feel like a bit of a dunce. He looks too white to be native, but you wonder if there's some Hawaiian heritage there when you get close enough to see the flower tattoos on his arm, and take in his features, the wide nose and...whoa, those lips. Those are way too plump for a white boy.

He gets even more flustered, embarrassed, which just sets his anxiety of more. "Hey, B--" you cut yourself off from saying his name, worried that the knowledge you heard a lot will just make it worse for him. Your heart hurts when you see how hard he's trying not to cry. "Let it out, but try to breathe, nice and slow, ok?"

"Shitshitshit, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to bother you--"

"Honey, it's no bother, why don't you just breathe with me. Would that help?" He nods, back of his hand wiping away tears, and you breathe deep and slow, wanting to take his hand but worried that that would be too weird.

You want to hug him as he calms down, gulping for breath slowing to almost normal, shaking leaving him, a few tears flowing over, but stemming. He seems so tough and frail at the same time; it's strange. He's not a short guy, average height, but slim, and his state makes him seem smaller. Once he's relatively calm, he seems vaguely familiar, but you can't place why. He's a gorgeous boy, a really beautiful young man, at any rate, and the thought makes your cheeks heat up.

"Well, that was an awkward first meeting, huh?" you joke, smiling shyly at him.

He nods. "I feel like a dick."

You shake your head. "Don't worry about it. I was feeling peckish, if you wanted some company still?" You nod towards the nearby cafes and restaurants lining the street.

"Yeah, sure. I'm Brendon."

"Y/n."

"Where'd you want to go?"

"This is my first time here. Is it yours?" He shakes his head. "Do you have any recommendations?"

"I know a few places we can try."

He points out a couple and you go with his second suggestion, and sit inside by the window.

"Those are Hawaiian flowers."

"Yeah. Hibiscus and plumeria."

"Are you part-Hawaiian?"

"Yeah, my mom's side is half-Polynesian. She was born in Hawaii. I'm mostly white though."

"Can I?" you ask, bringing your hand near his arm. He assents, holding his arm out, scooting closer to the table, and you reach out, stroking.

"They're so vibrant for a tattoo. They're really beautiful, Brendon." He beams at that. "My parents are both biracial," you add. "My mom is white--Scottish, and Carribean, and my dad is Jamaican and Japanese."

He smiles, looking over you again, as if your skin and features make sense now, but it doesn't feel weird.

You also run over the piano keys after looking back at him for the ok, getting a smile in return, that you give back twofold. You tell him you used to play as a kid. He did too, and still does, he says, in a band in the states, but they've toured a lot of places.

It finally clicks. "Panic at the disco, right? I thought you seemed familiar. That closing the goddamn door song?"

You look again at his tattoos, thinking about what you'd get to show your backround if you got tattoos yourself, as he starts humming the song, and you join in. You don't know it well enough to sing the words, but you know the tune, and remember the video. He was so campy in it. His fingers start drumming on the table, and you follow him for a bit, then brave placing your hand over his. His hand feels way too soft for a musician--you think guitarists would have tough hands. He gives a sly smile, entwining your hands, and you start to feel warm, fluttery.

Your phone rings, and you figure you should answer it when you see it's your boyfriend. It's late, and he'll just get more pissy if you don't. You try for a cheery "Hey, Dan-" but he cuts you off.

"Don't you 'oh hey, Daniel' me when I can see you all over that guy, y/n."

"What the fuck Daniel, are you spying on me? And I'm not all over him, we're just talking." You're not one to be a doormat, and you hate how he's the guy to try to make you one, but he had gotten close to getting away with it before tonight.

"Not spying, I'm *concerned* about my girlfriend. Who, apparently, is too busy slutting it up--"

You hang up before he can finish. "Brendon, can we get out of here. Like, now?" Now it's your turn to feel anxious. You so don't want to deal with dickhead's shit anymore, and you're worried about where he is. You want to grab Brendon's hand again, but you don't want to start anything, when he could be anywhere, in any mood.

"Yeah, sure. What's wrong?"

"Ummm...my ex, he's here, and I want to get the fuck away from here."

He looks concerned. "Yeah, sure...has he--nevermind, we barely know each other. You don't have to tell me."

Has he hurt you? Yes. Not in the way most people would get: he's never hit you in the face, punched you, used a weapon, or anything like that. But his words, attitude, possessiveness, and how he treated you in bed--but you can't tell Brendon any of that. You don't want to lay it on him, let alone feel like telling it to a near stranger. Your best friend didn't get it, didn't see the problem, when you tried to tell her, so what was the point?

You're wondering about Brendon, as he hails down a taxi, about the fight you overheard between him and the woman who probably is an ex now, hopefully, for his sake if nothing else. He seems...he really puts you at ease. It's hard to put your finger on it--he seemed almost absentmindedly flirty with you at the cafe, and he'd come here with a girlfriend, but apparently... You think he'd come across as gay to a lot of people, but he seemed to swing both ways.

PART 2 https://warmbeebosoftbeebo.tumblr.com/post/165590339240/including-boyfriend-talk-filthy-thoughts

#brendon urie smut #brendon urie imagine #plot--wtf?#not-yet-smut #abusive ex #bisexual brendon #cheating #arguably #homophobia #anxious baby boy #hawaii fic

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ashy-kid-spammin · 5 years

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I am Having Emotions, So Sit Down And Buckle Up.

So Uh. You know what? From now on, this is gonna be my procrastination central. I am gonna write stupid anecdotes about my life, but really, it’s not gonna be about my life. It’s gonna be about how I, a Dumbfuck™️, met a Bean and learned how to be a human being. SLowly, with enough practice.

This anecdote is alternatively titled, How I met The Same Person Three Separate Times, and/or The Dumbfuck and the Bean

Date: August 28th: So me being a DumbFuck means I knew I had to plan all my classes right? First day of College, I got that all sorted. I got to everything on time, got all my homework and notes down, started out on the Right Foot. but here’s the issue. I got complacent. For Tuesday, I looked at my calendar and map, was like yeahhh, I can get everywhere no issue, and said, Fuck it (cause I was a cool College Kid. I could SWear for Real now). I’m not gonna visit these classrooms early at all! I can find them in Ten minutes.

But there was a problem. I was not Prepared for Altgeld. See, Altgeld is a confusing building, with floors built all weird. It looks like a great big castle, all big and gray stone with bells chimin at :50 and the hour. Being all great and imposing, I went in through the front. Mistake. I had no idea where my second floor classroom was. And the clock was ticking down. Completely lost, I eventually caved and asked several different people. One of these people was a “dude” in some nerd buttonup and cargo shorts with disheveled longish hair. Like if the Bieber hair grew out and actually decided to look good, was a tad bit wilder. Impression: NERD™️ Probably quiet, had the kinda rimmed glasses that made them look like an owl. Plus they were Asian, so it looked like they might know where they were going. No. Not even a clue. Bright side: they were also in a calc discussion! Sorry, they said. I’m in calc one, they said. Disappointed, I was like meh and asked someone in the office. They found their class first, and I found mine soon after. I don’t remember if I thought they were cute. I generally don’t think that on first meetings. What I remember most though, is the quiet and easy way they teamed up with me. I really like that, actually. Being willing to go along with things is the thing I feel like I’m generally supposed to do but here, I felt like we were actually Working Together for the two minutes we were lost in Imposing and Foreign Architecture. Unfortunately, due to how brief, I forgot completely about this until a couple weeks after. When THey remembered, and told Me.

Date: ??? Around Sep 2-7 (most likely sep 3)

This doesn’t technically count, but I feel obliged to mention it. So, Joy, my friend at this point, tells me to join the Metagamers discord, so I scour everyone’s intros and see if anyone has any pictures up. Only one. A magic card (though back then I was Dumb and thought it was Pokemon) with a kid on it. They had on a white wig and a cool cape. Obviously cosplay. I was wowed. Huh! A nerd who Also Cosplays! I’ve been looking for those, cause I also wanna do that! Best of all, it said their name on it. Yiwei. What a p cool name. I scroll to their intro and see a super excited with Caps and Exclamation Points Introduction, with bunches of rambley stuff about Larp and DND (also they explained their intro statement? who does that. Nerd). Impression: NERD with side of Mysterious Skills and Swanky Confidence. (that might edge over into arrogance) But back then, I just saw the energy, enthusiasm, and ability to cosplay. Huh, I said. What a cool person. I kept that in my mind, I guess.

Date: September 8th

I’d heard about Club Campaign and their awesome and fun Game Night, So I thought I’d go over to the English Building at 7 and see what was up. It was actually fun! I met cool new people, who I didn’t know, who were fun and inclusive nerds (but because I was shy I didn’t open up too much, but felt better cause everyone was good about talking to me, and left at 10 because back then I slept at 12, like a good nerd) Anyways, They were on the other side of the table, playing werewolf with the big table group we had, but I thought their name sounded familiar, and they looked kinda cool, even if all the games I kinda wanted to kill them (in game) because they were fucking things up for us townspeople, or I was a werewolf and kinda had to. Anyways, they kept offering for the group this mostly empty mello yello bottle they were drinking, to spin and see who it would off, and every time it would either land on them or very close to them. So of course, the mob tried to off them, because mello yello had spoken (they will still never drink mello yello to this day). All I remember really is them being uproariously loud with their nerd friendos they’d just met and being like, really social. I thought they’d been in this friend group for a while was one of the Popular Cool Nerdos. (You know, the people that get ribbed the hardest in a friendly way and have all the respect anyways? that one). Impression: NERD with dash of Social Circle.

Date: September 11th.

It was a Tuesday game and I’d just met this bean. They were casually just talking to the DM, who told me I was gonna partner up with them this session, cause my character was an intern who needed an excuse to travel with the party. She likes aiding and Abetting People. Anyways, within the first few minutes, they joke about 9/11, talk about (when offered gum by me) how each time they ate gum they swallowed it, explained things that went over my head, and continued making puns about stuff. Impression: NERD–Irreverent Trainwreck Edition. I did like them, yes, but they were a bit Swanky and Rambunctious. I felt like they’d do a lotta bullshittery during the campaign and they didn’t disappoint. ((Me: Oh, y’know, just blowing gum over here. Them: who’s Gum? Me, five minutes later: *smacks forehead into both palms* Them: I can’t believe that took you so long.)) Surprisingly enough, I ended up enjoying their bullshit so much I decided to align myself more visibly, and decided to give them one of my hairclips. I didn’t expect myself to do that, honestly, and it felt a bit weird. But their strange almost over-expressiveness and charismatic excitement kinda won me over. I have no idea why I handed over my hairclip that night, or why it pleased me so much to see it immediately in their hair. Still, I thought. This might be the start of a Beautiful New Friendship. (oh boy)

Other trivial things I did was briefly think they were like 20 bc of all the white hairs they had. Then they accused me of having white hairs too, which I did. I now can’t believe I thought they weren’t a freshman. They had too much zest for life. Uhhh, anyways, I thought they were cute I guess. Because I had a weird hunch, I asked them their pronouns, at which point they wrote them down, and then.. I was like me too!! Because we used the same pronouns, she/her and they/them. That spark of connection was kinda wholly complete. See, I tend to only go for the people I have connections with. People who tend to be queer in some way, because that, I can feel on some level, you know? Things like attraction, gender identity, and stuff like that. It happened with (Codename) similarly too. But I felt that spark, like, immediately. Like actually within an hour of legit talking to this one. They were so vibrant, they kinda immediately stood out. Like a comet, or like a bright red flower against a generic green background. So I guess it isn’t hard to see why I kinda fell into Cute Person Likey Likey.

Anyways, we ate dinner together with friendos after, and after I found out they lived in my dorm, we stayed up until like 12 in the piano rooms where they played me all the songs they knew, which was fun af. I liked them a lot. They seemed like a fun person. Throughout the thing, they kinda seemed nervous, a little bit pause-y, a lil timid, which I thought was because close proximity, aLone, and cause nerves from new person. As we said goodnight, they did all that stuff again, and just sorta shouted, “Check your Discord!!” and then dashed up the stairs. I didn’t know them very well, so I was like, huh. Impression: NERD with Casual Dramatic Flair. What a cool disheveled piano man, I thought in the most gender neutral way possible.

So they wanted me to check my discord? Huh, I thought to myself. Maybe they just really wanna send me Cool Memes.

I was wrong.

I started nervously laughing, and then shaking, and then up and down pacing, and then my teeth were chattering, and then my roommate was like, what tf is going on, why are you suddenly Like THis. “I dunno! I don’t know why this is Happening,” I kinda whisper shrieked. He started laughing and was like boiiiiiii you in love I see the signs, you GAVE THEM your hairclip, if I don’t know what a sign is, that def is one. Three weeks and that man could read me like a neon sign. Everyone probably could, anyway.

So my teeth were chattering, my entire body was shivering, but I had yet to respond. They sent me another vaguely panicky sounding thing. Coherently, I replied with this:

Like I always say, yeaafhhhghvfbb.

NEXT TIME: DumbFuck And Bean Wing A Date

#romantic escapades #the dumbfuck and the bean

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