#like that dudes boss and career manager both died in one go

[chloesimaginationthings]

I can’t believe FNAF movie Mike never got paid

#myart #chloesimagination #comic #mike schmidt #abby schmidt #william afton #steve raglan #springtrap #spring bonnie #fnaf #fnaf movie #fnaf fanart #five nights at freddy's #spongebob squarepants #like that dudes boss and career manager both died in one go #at least game Michael got his small check #Mike schmit literally got nothing #I hope he gets a stable job 💀💀 #yes this is the SpongeBob bit

[thevindicativevordan]

On Kong Kenan/Super-Man

It should've been him. He should've been the Superman of 5G/Future State/right now not Jon, and he should be the one getting an HBO Max series not Val. Hell he should be getting a movie!

God this dude is literally the best legacy character Superman has ever gotten, wholly his own person with his own lore and status quo while still building on the idea of "Superman". I am so pissed at DC for essentially just dropping him after his ongoing ended, what the hell Lee? You keep trying to make the Wildstorm characters happen, I need you to get my man Yang another Kenan book.

Have to admit I was a bit nervous at first about whether or not Kenan would be a worthwhile character. Yang's New 52 Superman run had been a disappointment to me overall, with only the the arc where Superman has underground wrestling matches against forgotten gods really sticking with me. Now he was introducing a brand new Superman? Didn't feel like he had "earned" that yet. But from the first issue I was hooked on this new character.

Kenan was unlike any other member of the Superfamily. He wasn't kind or sweet, he was an asshole! He was a bully! He was fantastic! Right from the start Kenan was set up to undergo a very different kind of character journey than the other members of the Superfamily. Empathy, humility, respect for people weaker than himself, these are all traits most heroes wearing the S-shield already posses by the time they first don the crest, but not Kenan.

Like all bullies he was even a bit of a coward himself at first, trying to bail on the experiment meant to give him Superman's powers right as it begins. After "saving" Lixin (the kid he bullies and steals lunch from every day) from Blue Condor he demands all the money Lixin has on him as payment. He's not courageous or selfless either at the start, Kenan is as much of an opposite of Superman as you can get short of being Bizarro. Learning the appeal of these traits formed the basis for his growth over the course of his series.

Seeing Yang bring in a lot of recognizable "Superman" elements in the series, but with a twist, was also great. Kenan is the one who bullies "Luo Lixin" rather than the traditional Clark/Lex friendship of Pre-Crisis and Birthright. Initially Kenan develops a crush on intrepid reporter for Primetime Shanghai, Laney Lan, but she dismisses him as too young and Kenan eventually ends up pursuing Avery Ho (Flash) instead. Baxi the Bat-Man of China has a similar relationship with Kenan as the traditional Superman/Batman in terms of being vitriolic best buds, however Baxi is the one who has the most respect for authority while Kenan is the rebel. Kenan is a part of the "Justice League of China" which does not meet with the approval of the already established Chinese superheroes, the Great Ten. That contrasts nicely with the good relationship the Justice Society and Justice League have, as well as seeing Yang lampshade the "Chinese copy" trope and incorporate that into his storytelling.

One of the funniest differences is how Kenan chooses to immediately reveal his identity as Super-Man to the world by taking off the compliance visor he was forced to wear, contrasting with Clark's choice to hide his identity. He was so eager to impress people that he never gave any thought to the danger he could put himself or his family in by revealing his identity until it was too late, something Clark is well aware of and has taken great pains to keep his identity secret. Was a missed opportunity for DC to have Kenan comment on Clark copying him for once when he outed himself under Bendis.

But one of the most poignant differences between Clark and Kenan is the gulf in separation between their relationship with their parents. Clark has a loving relationship with Ma and Pa Kent, trying to live up to their lessons as best he can. In contrast Kenan's mom was believed to have died in an airplane crash when he was just a child, and he never really knew her. His father was distant from him after that and the two weren't really close despite Kenan's attempts to impress him. So Kenan lacks that strong connection while still clearly loving both of them.

Pa Kent's death is one of the most tragic examples of Clark's love for his parents, and I've always been a fan of takes where Clark promises his father to fight for the powerless on Pa's deathbed. Kenan gets a similar scene at the start of his career, his dad "dies" (after being exposed as Flying General Dragon, a pro-democracy "supervillain" from the Chinese authorities perspective) and wants Kenan to promise he'll fight for Truth, Justice, and Democracy. But because Kenan's dad never really bonded with him, Kenan doesn't know what those mean, and can only promise that he never wants to see people die, something his father takes comfort in at least. In classic comic book fashion it's revealed that Dr. Omen, Kenan's "boss" and the one who gave him his powers, saved Kenan's father, because she is Kenan's mother! Kenan's relationship with his parents forms a lot of the crux of his character arc, and seeing how Yang utilizes the classic Superman concept of family kept the storytelling exciting.

Yang's brilliant exploration of the concept of "Superman" through the prism of Chinese culture was a great way to differentiate Kenan as well.

I absolutely freaking love how he tied to the concept of Qi to the S-shield in particular. Connecting the shape of the shield with the way Kenan has acquired his powers along the path of the Bagua (eight trigrams used in Taoism that represent the fundamental principles of reality), with his octagon S-shield outline representing all eight principles together, was mindblowing! So was the idea of restricting Kenan's access to his powers unless he was actually acting in a Superman manner, that tied his character growth to his power growth in an entertaining manner. There were so many characters and concepts that meshed Chinese and DC lore together, like how Emperor Super-Man was Kenan's "Doomsday", they even recreated that iconic dual kill shot! The Chinese Wonder Woman Peng Deilan, being based on the Chinese Legend of the White Snake! There was even some Korean mythology referenced with the Aqua-Man member of the JLC "Dragonson".

Yang also managed to do a Superman Blue/Superman Red story with Super-Man Yin/Super-Man Yang!

Shameful that it took me a while to realize what Gene Yang was doing but once I caught on I was touched. You can tell how much Yang loved Superman and his mythology, and how he was excited to incorporate as much from Clark as he could, while still using it in a way that was solidly Kenan's. And not just Superman's mythology, but the history and lore of the entire DC Universe. I-Ching got to be brought in, fleshed out, and used as Kenan's mentor! The "Yellow Peril" villain from Detective Comics #1, the comic DC gets its name from was brought in and revamped as I-Ching's twin brother All-Yang! Hats off to Yang for taking a racist caricature and attempting to make him into something more.

This series was a beautiful attempt by Gene Yang to build a space for Asian heroes and villains where they could be more than stereotypes, Kenan himself being a defiant mold-breaker in every regard as the complete opposite of most Asian characters in Western media (a jock, a bully, loves his dad but not on great terms with him, a powerhouse as a hero, etc). So much thought and hard work was poured into this by Yang and his team of artist collaborators.

Especially the costumes, man Kenan had so many great looks. From his starting outfit (which is my favorite Superman variant not worn by Clark himself), to the one with the Yin/Yang shield he acquired later on, to his Super-Man Yin & Super-Man Yang outfits, Kenan looked damn cool. Part of me is bummed they didn't go with the Chinese character shield they toyed around with, but I loved how Yang used the "s-shield" as a plot point, so I'm not too broken up over it.

All that great work Yang did to build that space up has been more or less forgotten sadly. It was nice to see Kenan in the DC Asian Month Celebration issue. Avery is going to be in Justice Incarnate at least (unsurprising considering she was created by Williamson). So fucking bummed that Superman Family Adventures cartoon didn't happen, they were going to have Kenan and John Henry Irons in it! Would've been a dream come true for me to see Irons in animation again, and Kenan making the jump to outside media! Maybe that would've encouraged DC to let Yang keep writing New Super-Man, or at least encouraged them to use him elsewhere instead of allowing him fall into Limbo.

Unfortunately I'm not sure what the future holds for Kenan. Jon is being pushed as Clark's replacement in the comics, with DC keeping all the other contenders such as Kon benched. Calvin is leading the Justice Incarnate team likely due to the upcoming Coates reboot that will make Clark black. Val will probably get something once Taylor leaves Jon's book or once they officially announce the HBO Max show is happening. So where does that leave Kenan, my new favorite PoC legacy hero? Currently my only hope is that Yang is working on something for DC involving him. Yang left Batman/Superman, where I was hoping to see a Baxi/Kenan team up, to go work on "exciting other opportunities" per his Twitter. So fingers crossed that there's something in the works for Kenan!

One day I hope he gets his day in the sun again.

#kenan kong #new super man #gene yang #justice league of china #superman #dc comics

[petersasteria]

Raising You - Holland!Reader

Holland!Reader || Main || Taglist

Requested? Nah. 1,941 words TW: character deaths, swear words, nothing super bad

I was supposed to post this on Mother's Day, but it wasn't ready by then and I didn't know the direction of this story. But yeah. Here it is now. Enjoy.

* * * *

“I hate you!” You screamed. “Why do you always ruin things for me?! You’re no fun at all!” Tears were streaming down your face as you ran up the stairs to go to your room.

Tom followed you and said, “Tough luck, Y/N! I love you and whether you like it or not, I’ll always meddle in your life!”

“Go away!” You shouted, went into your room, and slammed the door. Tom furiously knocked on the door and let out a frustrated sigh when he heard you lock it.

He rubbed his face and went downstairs to cool off. He walked in the living room and saw a framed picture of both of you. He smiled at the sight and immediately went to grab the picture. “When did you grow up?” He asked himself quietly.

Things were different. His life was difficult. He no longer had parents and his brothers perished in a terrible accident. All he had left was you. He could’ve followed his dreams and took his talent to Hollywood, but life was cruel. He never got a chance to do that because his family mattered more to him than any film career.

Tom couldn’t remember a time when he had a decent break. To him, he was always working and on the go just to get by. But he knew that his parents would be proud of him for stepping up at being the best brother for you.

Tonight was just different.

He got a call from your school saying that you left prom with one of the douche-y dudes. It was just fitting that Harrison was with him, so he had some help in dealing with you.

“Haz, I’m really worried. She could be anywhere!” Tom said as he paced back and forth, clutching his phone.

“Mate, calm down. We’ll find her, alright?” Harrison said calmly. “Have you called her?”

“Yes, and she didn’t answer. I left 20 fucking voicemails, Haz! Fucking 20! Still no answer. I called her friends and they said they didn’t know where she went and obviously that’s bullshit! What if she was kidnapped? O-Or killed somewhere and she’s dead in a ditch in the middle of fucking nowhere??” Tom rambled, running a hand through his hair frustratedly.

Harrison looked at his worried best friend and only said three words, “Check your wallet.”

“What?” Tom stopped pacing to look at him. Harrison shrugged, “Check your wallet.”

“We have no time to shop online right now, Harrison.” Tom said through gritted teeth, but grabbed his wallet anyway. He opened his wallet and he still didn’t know what he was supposed to look for. As if reading his mind, Harrison added, “Check your credit card or debit card or whatever fucking card you have. Check your cash.”

Tom did what he was told and groaned in frustration, “Y/N took my credit card and she took the fake ID that I confiscated from her.”

Harrison nodded and pointed to the phone, “Call the bank and ask for your recent activity.”

Tom called the bank and asked what his recent activity was. They told him that he checked into a motel about three minutes ago and gave him the address. Tom has certainly never been there and it baffled him on how you wound up in a place like that. Tom thanked the bank and hung up.

“She’s at a motel.”

Just like that, the two best friends got in Tom’s car and drove to the motel. Tom was too nervous to drive, so Harrison drove instead. Tom was looking out his window to see where the motel was and they eventually found it. Harrison parked the car and they both got out.

They went to the person in charge and asked if they'd seen you. “She was wearing a prom dress and she’s with some guy who was probably wearing a tux.” Tom explained.

“Yeah, I know those two.”

“Where are they?” Harrison asked.

“Room 2A.” The man said.

“Okay. Can we please have your spare key for that room?” Tom asked. “It’s an emergency.”

“No, sorry.” The man replied and sipped his coffee. Harrison glanced behind the man and immediately saw the key for room 2A. He walked around the desk and grabbed the man from behind. “Tom, go!” Harrison shouted as the man tried to get out of his grip.

“What are you doing?!” Tom shrieked.

“GET THE FUCKING KEY.” Harrison nodded his head toward the key and Tom’s jaw dropped in realization. Tom quickly jumped on the desk and grabbed the key for the room. When he grabbed it, he ran outside; followed by Harrison.

“Return that key!” The man shouted.

Tom and Harrison went up the stairs and walked around until they found your room. They stood in front of the door and Tom whispered, “What now?”

“You go in there and just take her. I’ll be out here for back up.” Harrison whispered back and Tom nodded.

Tom knocked on the door and said ‘housekeeping’ in a high pitched voice. Harrison slapped his arm and mouthed “what the fuck”.

“It’s improv! I can’t just barge in like a freak. I’m an actor, Haz.” Tom defended quietly, earning an eye roll from his best mate.

“We’re busy!” A male voice said which enraged Tom.

“Alright. Now, I can barge in.” Tom said as he used the key to open the door. The chain was in the way, but he managed to break it by pushing the door open.

“Y/N!” Tom shouted.

“Tom! What are you doing here? How did you find me?!” You shrieked. Your hair was messy and your dress wasn’t as neat compared to when you left the house. The guy with you was just watching the whole scene go down.

“That doesn’t matter now. Get in the car!” He yelled.

You shook your head, “No! I’m staying here with Brad!”

“Over my dead fucking body, Y/N.” Tom said before he grabbed your wrist and dragged you outside. Brad intervened and grabbed your other hand, “Let go, man!”

Tom was stronger and he was able to pull you out of Brad’s grip and told Harrison to take you to the car and give the key back to the man downstairs. You and Harrison went to the car and Tom stayed to lecture Brad.

“Chill out, man. Nothing happened!” Brad exclaimed.

“Okay and what if something did happen, hmm? What if you got her pregnant? Can you pay for child support? Do you plan on marrying my sister in the future? Are you ready to take care of a fucking baby?! I DON’T THINK SO.” Tom said angrily.

“She’s 15 and she has a great life ahead of her! I’m not going to let some boy ruin that. If you look at her or even blink at her, I will end you, Brad.” Tom threatened before leaving.

Tom sighed and put the picture back. Harrison left when you got home and that’s when your screaming match with Tom started. He walked up to your room and knocked on the door.

“Go away!” You said.

“You know, saying that will only make me knock on the door again. Just let me in. Let’s talk this out.” Tom said softly. He waited for a few seconds and he heard you unlock the door. He smiled at himself and let himself in.

He stared at you as you lay in bed with red eyes and puffy cheeks. He went further in the room and closed the door behind him before sitting down on the foot of your bed.

"I'm sorry for what happened back there, but I was doing it for your own good. You'll thank me in the future." Tom said and you rolled your eyes.

"Don't roll your eyes at me, young lady." He gave you a pointed look. "I'm serious. I guarantee that if it happened, you'll regret giving it to someone who isn't special after all. So you're welcome, I saved your ass."

"You're not the boss of me. Don't you remember what it's like to be young?!"

"Yes, I am the boss of you and of course I remember what it was like to be young. It was five years ago when I was 19!" Tom raised his voice and stood up. He paced around your room to calm down. He didn't want to fight, but you were being stubborn.

He looked at you and put his hands on his hips. “I never got to truly explore or- or experiment with different things, alright? I was robbed of my youth because I have to step up. I’m the eldest so it’s my job to take care of you; all of you.”

“Do you know how shocking it was for me?!” Tom shrieked. “I never got to grieve properly because I had to be strong for you and Paddy and Sam and Harry. It was too much for me to handle, but I forced myself to push through because I had no choice but to move forward.”

“Sam and Harry had their youth taken away too because they had to help me. When they were your age, they worked and picked up a few side jobs just to help me pay the bills. We’re lucky that we get to keep this house because it was already paid for by mum and dad before they died.”

“I had to give up everything for all four of you and you have no idea what that’s like, Y/N!” Tom yelled. He was clearly frustrated and it dawned on you that he never released those pent up feelings and you just let him shout.

“Sam and Harry were there sometimes, but they were also too busy trying to make something of themselves. Most of the time, it was me! They were working and going to school for their future and I was at home with you and Paddy because both of you were still too young. All my friends were out partying, dating, going to university. Meanwhile, I’m at home too busy being your mum and dad and brother.” He cried out of frustration, causing you to cry too.

He sat down at the edge of your bed and wiped his tears as you stared at him., not bothering to wipe your tears. “Now three of our brothers are also gone and it’s fucked. They never got to reach the finish line of their dreams and goals.” He said quietly. Tom looked at you and gave you a tight-lipped smile, “I don’t want to fight anymore, okay? It’s just you and me now and we have to be a team. We should help each other, so before you do anything stupid ask yourself if it’ll put stress on me. If the answer is yes, then don’t do it. I don’t need more stress.”

You only nodded. He got up from your bed and said, “Good night.” Before he left your room, you walked up to him and gave him a hug, “Thank you for your sacrifices and I’m sorry for being a pain in the ass.”

He chuckled lightly and hugged back, “I’m sorry for being strict, but it’s all part of the parenting thing.”

“You’ll be a great dad.” You said softly before yawning. Tom’s heart melted when you said that. “You think so?” He asked.

“I know so.” You told him. He smiled and kissed the top of your head. It may be sad that five of your family members left both of you, but it was okay. You had each other and that’s all that matters.

* * * *

𝐇𝐎𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐍𝐃!𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐑 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @blueleatherbag @thatforgottenangel @turtoix @runawayolives @chewymoustachio @just-here-to-escape-from-reality @alexx-stancati @rumplebutterbaby @dummiesshort @thevelvetseries @quxxnxfhxll @angelsgrxzer @dreamy-clousds @bora-world @caitsymichelle13 @wannabemobwife

𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐄𝐑𝐀𝐋 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓: @holland-styles @trustfundparker @alinastarkrovs @felicityparkers @hufflepuffprincess24 @tommysparker @justasmisunderstoodasloki @quaksonhehe @call-me-baby-gir1 @itstaskeen @theonly1outof-a-billion @lost-in-the-stars03 @justafangirlduh @piscesparker @speedymaximoff @miraclesoflove @lexirv @blairscott @getbywithasmile @pqrkerr @lavender-writer @blackbat2020 @hoodpankow @bi-lmg @emmastarz

#tom holland #harry holland #holland!reader #tom holland x holland!reader #petersasteria

[kasienda]

The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir: Ch 5 - Unwanted Revelations

Chapter 1: I Want It To Be You

Chapter 2: Best Friends

Chapter 3: Best Laid Plans

Chapter 4: A Thank You

Chapter 5: Unwanted Revelations

“You okay, dude?” Nino asked. They were sitting on his bed, watching an anime, but Adrien had no idea what was happening in the current episode. 

Adrien’s head shot up from where his cheek had been pressed into his propped up knee.

“Yeah, of course,” Adrien said. “Why wouldn’t I be?” 

Nino frowned, and paused the show. “You’ve just been quiet tonight. 

“I’m just tired,” Adrien said, which was mostly true. “The photo shoot this morning went seven ways to hell after it was disrupted by that akuma.” 

“That akuma sucked!” Nino said.

Adrien nodded in agreement. It had taken Ladybug, Chat Noir, and five temp heroes (Carapace included) hours to deal with. “And once it was cleared up, father insisted the shoot continue even though we had already lost our lighting. Then afterwards he lectured me for an hour about not being professional enough because none of the shots came out to his satisfaction.”

Adrien trailed off, noticing that Nino had his lips pressed tightly closed. 

“It’s not that big of a deal,” Adrien said. 

Which had been the wrong thing to say. Adrien knew it as soon as the words left his mouth. 

“Not that big a deal?!” Nino repeated. “Dude, he runs you ragged, doesn’t let you have any fun, puts you in situations where it is literally impossible to succeed, and then he yells at you when you fail.”

“He doesn’t yell,” Adrien defended.

“I don’t know why you defend him!”

Adrien shrugged. “He’s my father.” 

“Is he? Seems more like he’s your boss.” 

Adrien sagged on the floor, and Nino wilted a second later. 

“I’m sorry, dude. I don’t mean to make you feel worse. He just… makes me so angry!”

Adrien smiled then. “It feels good to have you on my side.” 

“How would you feel about me borrowing the Snake?” Nino asked, casually. 

Read on Ao3

Adrien started, sitting up straight. “What?!” 

“I mean, I just want to punch him in the face. Just once, dude, I swear. But I’d prefer not to get thrown in jail with my future career destroyed because your old man is vengeful.” 

Adrien burst out laughing. “I’d pay to see it actually.” 

Nino smiled and bumped his shoulder into Adrien’s. Adrien’s laughter died down, but his smile remained. 

But Nino looked solemn. Adrien frowned and leaned forward. “Are you okay?”

Nino smiled. “Yeah, I was just thinking. Have you ever thought about using the Snake to confront your father?”

“No,” Adrien admitted. “I am trying not to use it for selfish reasons.”

Nino rolled his eyes.

“What would I even say to him?” Adrien cleared his throat. “Hello Father! I bend over backwards to meet your expectations, but they’re impossible to reach. I want you to show me the same respect you expect me to show you.” Adrien shook his head. “What would be the point? He won’t remember, so nothing will change.”

Nino stared at a Jagged Stone poster across the room. “I just… wonder sometimes if he even knows how much he’s hurt you. Confronting him might tell you that.” 

Adrien was silent for a long time. 

“Dri?” 

Adrien looked up at Nino’s concerned gaze, and then turned away again. “I just…” Adrien said. “What if the answer is he does know? And… doesn’t care?”

Nino wrapped him in a hug at that moment, and Adrien let his cheek fall onto Nino’s shoulder. 

It had been easy to visit Nino and Marinette with the Snake Miraculous. Adrien knew that they cared about him. In fact, he had known they had cared about him on both sides of his mask. If anything, he had underestimated how much affection and love they held for him. So he hadn’t been afraid of anything that might come out in a conversation with them that they couldn’t remember. He knew he’d still hold them in the highest regard. 

But with his father, if he learned something he didn’t like - that his father didn’t care about him, rather than was just abrasive and uncomfortable with feelings and affection - Adrien didn’t know if he would be able to keep up the song and dance routine required to keep his father happy. Adrien wanted to keep what little freedoms he had managed to squirrel away. He couldn’t stand it if they were taken away. He was terrified he wouldn’t survive it.

On some days, he knew he was too close to not almost wanting to survive it. 

It was too easy to throw himself in front of an akuma’s blast, too easy to picture his own bubbling cataclysm floating towards his chest without concern.

But things had gotten better, were continuing to get better. Thanks to Nino mostly, and to Ladybug, too. 

“Have you ever used the snake with anyone besides me?” Nino asked, interrupting Adrien’s thoughts.

Adrien didn’t want to mention Marinette. He knew Marinette wouldn’t have minded, and Nino would have listened without judgement. But it felt weird to tell Nino something about Marinette that she herself didn’t remember.

“Ladybug picked me to use the snake against Desperada,” he confided instead.  

“You’re Viperion, too?!”

Adrien winced. “No, I was Aspik, but… it didn’t go well, and I eventually gave it up, and she selected someone else to be the snake. That person is Viperion.” 

Nino looked at him suspiciously. “How long did you stay in the loop before you gave up?” 

Adrien rubbed the back of his neck. “Umm… like three months?” 

Nino bolted to his feet. “Months?! Dude! You need to stop torturing yourself!” 

“I just… wanted to impress her as myself. She’s already said no to Chat Noir. I was hoping… that being Adrien was a…” 

“Second chance?” Nino filled in sarcastically. 

Adrien grinned. “Exactly! But… she needed a temp hero in the first place because the two of us weren’t enough. So… I had to give it back, and tell her to find someone else. I feared that Adrien was only a disappointment to her.” 

“You tried for months! What more could she ask of you than that?” Nino pursed his lips. “Like how many loops is that?”

“25,912.” 

Nino’s eyes widened, and he just stared at him until Adrien had to look away. 

“Didn’t you lose count?” 

Adrien shook his head. “The snake doesn’t let you forget the number. You know every time what loop you’re on.”

Nino was really solemn after that. “I think that power is the scariest of them all,” he said quietly. 

“Scarier than the power of destruction?” Adrien teased, trying to lighten the mood again. 

“Yes,” Nino said seriously, not taking the hint.

Adrien sighed. “What was the hardest akuma for you as Carapace?” 

“As Carapace?! I was fighting Anansi as Nino while you were caught in some spider web! That was terrifying.” 

“You were a natural with the baton,” Adrien said. 

Nino ducked his head down - trying to hide a blush.

“I was really threatened by it at the time,” Adrien admitted. 

Nino’s gaze snapped back up. “Threatened?! By me?”

“I… It felt like Ladybug was trying to replace me.” 

Nino shook his head. “She was trying to save you, dude!”

“It kinda feels like she’s trying to replace me now, too.” 

Nino frowned. “What do you mean?” 

“She told someone else her identity. And yeah, she explained why she couldn’t tell me so it’s easier to accept now. But Nino, I’ve been sidelined so many times recently. Rena Rouge removed me from the battlefield when Style Queen attacked. I was so far away that by the time I got back…” he trailed off, his brain spiraling rapidly.

“Dude?” 

“Rena Rouge told me not to interfere with SentiBubbler, too.”

“I’m sure she didn’t mean to push you aside like that. Alya loves you both as heroes. You should hear her fangirl about working with both of you.” 

But Adrien wasn’t hearing Nino anymore. Rena Rouge knew a lot - more than any of the other temp heroes. She had made plans with Ladybug before Ladybug had even shown up. 

Rena Rouge was the one that knew Ladybug’s identity. 

But Rena Rouge was Alya.

Ladybug had said she told her best friend in her civilian life.

That meant… 

Adrien couldn’t breathe. 

“Adrien? What’s wrong?” Nino asked, urgently.

But Adrien couldn’t answer. All he felt was horror and dread writhing sickenly in his gut. This was knowledge he wasn’t supposed to know. 

He was the one person that wasn’t supposed to know.

But it fit and he couldn’t unknow it. Marinette had… she had burst into tears upon learning his identity just like Ladybug. She had ranted and railed in anger that Ladybug hadn’t realized how hurt her partner had been by her actions. She hadn’t been angry with Ladybug - she had been angry with herself. And then, she had erased her own memory when he had hesitated because they weren’t supposed to know. 

He was going to throw up. 

“Dude! Talk to me!” Nino begged, tapping either one of Adrien’s cheeks.

Adrien turned toward his friend, but his eyes looked past him, remaining unfocused. 

“Plagg! Sass! Help!” Nino called.

The kwamis flew into his line of sight, and conversed together briefly. Adrien heard none of it.  

His body was trembling - shaking so hard it was amazing he hadn’t fallen off the edge of Nino’s bed. Though that might have had to do with the hand clamped painfully onto his shoulder bracing him from tipping over. Hot tears fell from his cheeks and his chest burned. He clawed for air that refused to come.

“Kid,” Plagg called. “Slow down. You’re okay. Nothing’s happened yet.”

“I-I’m n-n-not supposed t-t-to know,” Adrien managed to get out between the body quakes. He had always wanted to know. And Marinette, she was amazing! She always had been. He wanted to be ecstatic at the revelation. “I don’t w-w-w-want to destroy the world.”

Ladybug had said the moon was in pieces.

“And if you get akumatized right now over it, it will be a self fulfilling prophecy!” Plagg snapped. “Now breathe properly already!” 

“Dude!” Nino chastised. “That’s not how you calm someone down during a panic attack.”

“I’d like to see you do better,” Plagg challenged.

But Nino was already ignoring the kwami. “Dri, breathe in with me.” And then he slowly and dramatically breathed in. 

Adrien tried to follow suit. Really, he did. He took in a slow deep breath, but then his throat would lodge close again, and he’d start gasping again. His chest spasmed painfully. 

“Can you reset the last five minutes?” Nino asked Sass. 

The kwami shook his head. “It’s very dangerous for me to use my power without a holder to limit them. It's not worth the cost,” Sass informed. “He already knew everything needed to put it together. He just hadn’t thought about it. We can reset… maybe… without destroying the timeline completely, but he’ll just figure it out again probably within a few days. Plagg and I knew it was only a matter of time.”

“Some warning would have been nice!” Adrien shrieked, his anger cutting through the shaking, but only for a second. 

“Look kid, we don’t know that this is the end of the world. And honestly, it probably isn’t!” 

Adrien’s green eyes locked onto the floating kwami. “What do you mean?” 

Plagg turned to Sass. “You explain it.” 

“My power works differently than Fluff’sss, but from my understanding, the end of the world probably had very little to do with you knowing each other's identities. It was more like that it was an event that was easy to change to prevent a certain series of events. It wasn’t necessarily that you couldn’t know one another. Just that you couldn't know that day.”

“Why didn’t you say any of this before?” Adrien gasped out. He was still struggling to keep his breathing slow. 

Sass shrugged. “Because we don’t know for certain what happened, and anything short of a guarantee wouldn’t have been enough for Ladybug.” 

“Look!” Plagg interjected. “If things truly go to absolute hell and back, Fluff’s holder will most likely show up to fix things again, and since she’s not already here, we’re likely fine.”

The tension in Adrien’s chest broke, and the rest of his body slumped. Luckily, Nino was there to catch him. Adrien clung to his shoulder even as he tried to face the kwamis. As always, Nino was a rock. If he was phased at all, Nino wasn’t showing it. 

Adrien was dripping with sweat, his blond hair was plastered to the sides of his face. He could breathe now, and breathe heavily he did, still leaning heavily on Nino. 

“So, what do we do?” Adrien asked.

Plagg shrugged. “Use the snake to tell Ladybug you figured her out. Then come up with a plan together. She’s a crafty one. She’ll have ideas.”

Sass nodded. “Most likely, she will know more than she’s told you, Chat Noir. She may have a better idea of what needs to be avoided.”

Adrien nodded. “Okay, okay. We can do this.” He turned to Nino. “Help me stand?”

Nino held out his arms, and Adrien hauled himself to his feet with Nino’s support. 

“I’m sorry to cut our illicit slumber party short,” Adrien said. 

Nino shook his head. “No worries, dude. Fate of the world stuff obviously should come first. But… umm… are you going to be okay running over rooftops? No offense, but… you look like shit.” 

“Plagg, claws out,” Adrien called. As the transformation washed over him, Adrien could stand up straight, breathe easier. He sighed in relief. “With the transformation, I’m okay.”

“Can you let me know when you get somewhere safe and outside a time loop, dude?” 

Adrien smiled. “Yeah, sure.” Adrien pulled his baton from his back. “And Nino?”

“Yeah?”

“Thank you for being here. Thank you for not asking questions.”

Nino smiled. “Of course, dude. Anytime.” 

… 

Marinette wasn’t on her balcony, but her light was on. He couldn’t handle waiting so he sent Sass through the window. She was up on the roof less than a minute later. 

“Chaton? What’s wrong?” 

He transformed with the snake and activated second chance immediately, and then fell heavily onto the only chair on her balcony.

“You shouldn’t have let me keep the snake,” he began without preamble. 

“What are you talking about?” she demanded, but her eyes were wide. 

“We don’t have time for you to try to misdirect me. It’s too late, m’lady.” 

She wilted. “How? Did you try to figure it out?”

He shook his head. “No. I just…” His fingers tried to tear through his hair, only to find the suit draped over his skull. “You told me to tell someone. So I did. I told my best friend. Only he turned out to be a temp hero. He slipped. He thought I knew who he was when Chat Noir showed up in his room. It’s not his fault.” 

“Breathe, kitty.” 

He took in a shuddering breath, but he was still shaky. The panic was starting to grip him again, and he was trying to keep it from exploding, but he knew he was slowly losing the battle. 

She crouched down in front of him and held his hands. 

And he barreled forward in the story. “Then because I knew his identity, I later realized who Rena Rouge was. And I know that you never told me that she was the one that you revealed your identity to, but… she just… knows too much. And I know who Alya’s best friend is. I swear I never meant to figure it out!”

And he couldn’t breathe. “I can’t… m’lady, please. I’m so scared.” He broke off as the sobs overtook him again. 

She held him, stroked his head and neck with calming hands, and whispered nonsensical soothing sounds into his ears. He leaned into her comfort, into her warmth, fighting to collect himself. He needed to get enough out so she could tell him what to do. How to fix this. Because he didn’t want to be akumatized and he didn't want the world to end. Especially not by his hand.

“Tell me what to do,” he sobbed.

“Who’s your best friend?” she asked. 

“Nino.” 

He felt her sharp intake of breath.

“Please don’t start crying,” he begged. “You always cry when I tell you.”

“It’s too late, Adrien,” she whispered. And when he looked up her eyes were already filled with tears.

“Please tell me you have an idea,” he begged. 

She took up his hands and squeezed them tight as she kneeled in front of him again. “You’re not going to like it.” 

He snorted through his tears. “That’s a given.”

“You’re going to go back and you’re going to pretend you don’t know.”

He sucked in another breath and he closed his eyes against her words. “How do you expect me to do that?”

“You’re clearly a very good actor,” she said gently.

And he crumpled in on himself at her words. His head fell into their joined hands as his body shook in an emotional earthquake.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered, continuing to stroke his head. “I wish it was different. I wish I wasn’t placing this burden solely on you. That I wasn’t asking you to put on mask after mask. You shouldn’t have to.” 

“I just… why, do you need me to pretend? How does that help us?” 

“Nothing can change between Ladybug and Chat Noir.”

He felt himself nod though he wasn’t sure if he could ever pull that off. He felt like his whole world had been thrown out of orbit.

“And nothing can change between Adrien and his very good friend, Marinette. You understand?” 

And suddenly, he did.

“We can’t date,” he concluded.

She nodded. “We can’t date. Knowing who you are… it’s clear to me that it wasn’t the reveal that was the problem. It was that our reveal led to us dating.” 

“Wh-What? What does that have to do with anything?” He asked.

“We can’t date. You have to pretend like you don’t know. Can you do that for me, kitty? Can you wait until Hawkmoth has been defeated?”

“I uh… wait?” 

“I love you,” she confessed. 

And he stared at her in shock. She loved him? 

“And you love me. But our love… it destroys the world.” 

Her words hit him like a never ending monsoon. He felt thrown about, twisted up, and torn into pieces all at once.

“What?” he hissed.

“That’s what Chat Blanc told me. I didn’t know you were Adrien. Adrien was the person who learned my identity that day, but it was Chat Noir who knew. And Chat Blanc… he said it was our love.” 

He shook his head even as he cried. “No, no, Mari, I refuse to believe it.” 

“I still have nightmares of the place. Of you alone, and half insane.” Her hands cradled either side of his face. 

He kissed the palm of one of her hands. 

“Mari, please,” he begged. “Don’t make me pretend with you.” 

She kissed him. Hard. He felt dizzy. 

She pulled away and smiled. “Figure I owe you a kiss that you will remember.” 

Then the world blurred around him. God damn her! This was how she knew how the snake worked in the first place, knew how to activate it when she had him distracted. She was the fucking guardian. 

He was standing again. He collapsed into the chair again and just continued to cry.

“Chaton? What the hell happened? Why are you always crying on the other side of one of your loops? How awful am I to you?”

His arms snaked around her midriff, and he pulled her against him. And just sobbed into her stomach.

“You’re not awful, Mari. You’re amazing.” 

And he loved her. 

Her fingers ran over his head and cat ears, causing them to flick back and forth.

He spent the whole loop crying, and the next one after that. But he recovered faster than he did with Nino that first night with the snake. It only took four loops before he got ahold of himself. Maybe he was  getting better at coping with world-ending fear and grief. Or maybe it’s because his lady is just a little bit more soothing to him, as awesome as his best friend was. 

Now, he just felt numb.

And exhausted. 

“How many loops have you been through?” she asked softly.

“Five” 

“What can I do?” she asked.

“M’lady, you’re already doing it.” 

She stiffened at the endearment. He holds her to him harder. “I know have to pretend that nothing has changed. I have to wear a mask around you all the time. Every moment of every day as Chat Noir and every day as Adrien, and I know that I’ll get really good at it. It’s something I’ve done a million times before. But let me have an extra loop or two okay?” 

He can feel her shaking as suddenly she’s crying too.

“I just… I’m scared,” he confessed. “I don’t know how long we’ll have to do this. I don’t know if I’ll remember how to take the walls down when it’s over. Will I even know who I am?” He squeezed her tighter. “And… I don’t know if you’ll wait for me without knowing,” he whispered.

She was caressing the sides of his face in gentle soothing strokes. Tears streamed from her eyes. 

“You’re so amazing!” she told him. “So resilient, and so much stronger than me.”

He barked a broken laugh that held no humor. “You’re wrong. I’m so broken. I’ve been so tempted so many times to just break the loop and let you remember.” 

“But you haven’t.” 

“You’re usually the one that resets it once everything comes out.” 

She kneels down at eye level with him. “You’re my strength, Chaton. My ability to reset the loop is to keep you safe. And no one else. I love you so much.” 

“I love you, too, m’lady.” 

She moved forward to kiss him and he pulled back. She frowned. 

“Please don’t,” he begged. 

“Why not?” 

“Because there’s already too many kisses that we can’t remember. I want us both to remember them.”

“Chaton, if you feel that way strongly, I can respect it. But if you’re afraid of forgetting what it feels like to be yourself, I want you to feel it, to remember it every single day. You should always know what it means to not have to wear masks. What it means to be loved.” 

“Every single day?” he repeated. 

She nodded firmly. “Every single day.”

“What about not abusing the miraculous?” 

“Abuse it,” she said. “I don’t care. You’re more important.”

He was speechless. 

So when she leaned in again, he let his eyes fall closed. Let her press her lips gently against his own. His whole body melted into the contact like butter. He kissed her like it was the first time and like it was the last time, because in a way… it was. 

They stayed together - sharing their life’s breath, letting their mouths and tongues dance together in sync the way Ladybug and Chat Noir always were. They didn’t stop. Eventually, the world blurred, and he realized she had reset the time loop herself again.

But this time he was smiling when he found himself standing on her balcony once again peering into her concerned blue eyes. 

This time he felt lighter and freer. She loved him. And he loved her.

And they would be together someday. 

He had to believe that.

...

Chapter 6: Miraculous Abuse

#Platonic adrino #adrino friendship #Marichat #love square #angst #hurt comfort #kisses #TW: suicidal thoughts #Trigger Warning: suicidal thoughts #time loops #identity reveal #permanent reveal #and reveal take backs #Confessions of Love #miraculous ladybug fan fiction #A miraculous reveal #The Five Minute Adventures of Snake Noir #ml spoilers #ml s4 #my own content

[accidentallyadramablog]

Review: Down With Love (2010)

I felt a little nostalgic this week and decided to rewatch Down With Love, a romcom out of Taiwan featuring Ella Chen (from Hana Kimi) and Jerry Yan (Meteor Garden).

This is more of a brain dump as opposed to a real review. More below the cut.

Let me just start with the fact I love dramas with tomboys, gender benders, and gender non-conforming women and girls in general. I'm a 40 yr old gnc bi-woman, so some of these storylines really resonate with me - despite the trend of making those female characters glaringly stupid and pitiable.

Tags: Nanny, Love Square, Tomboy, Male Chases Female First, Sismance, Rich Man/Poor Woman, Pretends To Be Gay, Single Parent, Sisterhood, Boss/Employee Relationship

Our girl Ella Chen plays tomboy Yang Guo. Yang Guo works, has friends, and a shitty boyfriend of 5 years. She acts naïve, but she actually has a lot of life experience due to a *tragic backstory*. After her mother died, her father ruined the family business. Their family plunged from riches to rags and their father abandoned them. Yang Guo is 6 when this happens and it falls on her older sister Yang Duo to raise them both while homeless, starving, and navigating the homeless camps in the parks of Taipei.

Yang Duo (Kelly Huang) has raised her little sister by herself, beginning from poverty and homelessness to having a house and making a life for themselves. They bicker good-naturedly, but Yang Duo is very protective and supportive of her sister. She's managed to earn a job at a prestigious law firm as an admin assistant with strong accounting skills. She is seen as frugal, clever, and competent. Several characters make comments throughout the series about how it was a shame that she didn't go into certain careers because she's so accomplished despite not having a formal education. It's obvious that Yang Duo has put her own dreams and happiness on hold to make sure that she and Guo have financial security. Yang Duo is my favorite character btw. She is a supporting character that is multi-faceted and has her own character arc. I really like seeing her growth in this drama, and she gets some cute side couple action later in the series. Skip the last episode.

Due to growing up in poverty and scrabbling to lower-middle-class, the two girls work nonstop. After Guo is fired from her job waiting tables, Duo gets Guo a job as a nanny for her boss Xiang Yu Ping by lying and saying Guo is a lesbian.

Xiang Yu Ping (Jerry Yan) owns his own law firm and is seen as cold and overbearing. He is raising his dead brother's kids and none of the nannies he's hired have lasted either due to being chased off by the kids (a la the Sound of Music) or by trying to seduce him because he's a rich handsome lawyer. Relieved to have found a nanny who definitely wouldn't seduce him (because he thinks she's a lesbian), he just pays an unreasonably huge salary to keep her there with the kids despite their abuse.

Supporting characters: Amanda Chu as the best friend Yan Ling with the messy dating life is also delightful, but I've enjoyed all her roles. I may rewatch Lion Pride for her, now that I'm walking down memory lane. The office of 'just some lawyer dudes being dudes' are funny. I love when they gather around to watch drama and place bets on what's happening. They're also slackers. I would love/hate to work with them.

So that's the setup.

Honestly, I hate the 'pretends to be gay' plots. It's typically really offensive and this was no exception in a lot of places. (It's not at the same level as Personal Taste, but it's bad.) One of the cases Yu Ping takes on is unlawful termination and blackmail of a gay teacher and he asks for Yang Guo's advice to help the man. Taiwan was trying in 2010, but it wasn't exactly good representation to have a fake lesbian help an actual gay man faced with employment discrimination and blackmail over his orientation. When I compare this with Love is Science (2021 twdrama) that has two out lgbt characters employed in their office with significant roles, I'm just so happy that lgbtq media representation is still progressing.

I don't care about Yu Ping's best friend Qi Ke Zhong or Yu Ping's ex-girlfriend Ding Hui Fan because they're both terrible people that don't deserve forgiveness and their only purpose was to drag out our leads getting together. Since this was a rewatch, I knew how much I hated their scenes and skipped them as much as I could. You're not missing anything. Someone on YT needs to just make a Yang Duo/Xiang Yu Ping cut, tbh. Also? Go ahead and skip the deadbeat father.

The nanny bit only lasts three episodes (the kids are adorable), but it's long enough for Yu Ping to catch feelings and think his lesbian nanny is cute. He actually is not cold and overbearing as episode 1 makes him out to be. Yu Ping is supportive and tries to be a good friend to Guo. When he thinks her 'girlfriend' is cheating on her, he absolutely flips out because he feels she deserves to be respected and loved in her relationship. He learns about her family. He learns about her friends. He knows where to look for her when she's upset. He knows how to cheer her up and later, he knows how to make the perfect date. When he finds out she lied about being a lesbian, he's not even mad. He admits it was his fault for making certain demands in the employment contract. He's just upset that he's lost chances to flirt and court her.

Listen. It's a dumb premise in this drama and the misunderstandings suck. But it's so refreshing to see male leads be decent to women that are romantically and sexually unavailable to them. The bar is so low, in RL and in dramas, that Yu Ping belongs in the top tier of male drama leads. This dude was just going to continue in a supportive friendship for an undetermined time, both when he thought she was a lesbian and later when his shitty weasel of a best friend dated her under false pretenses. He didn't burden her with a confession until her relationship was over. And whenever she asked for space, he gave it to her. And when she confronted him on instances of jealously, he apologized and gave her space.

Yu Ping never tries to change Guo. He doesn't give her a makeover. She has a makeover scene that is instigated by another character and all he does is try to make her comfortable when she's so obviously uncomfortable. Then he cheers inwardly when he sees her overcome her awkwardness and have confidence. But by the end of the drama, she is still dressing and acting the same as in act 1. It honestly reminded me a little of Coffee Prince in that the fancy male lead is still just as enamored with his gnc woman by the end and the way she presents herself doesn't have an effect on their romantic relationship. Again, this is content catered to me as a bi & gnc woman in a relationship with a cis-het man. I often am mistaken for a man when I go out with my spouse and he's still super into me so let's normalize gnc people with gc people already it's 2021.

Anyway, if you watch romances for kisses, there's really only a couple of pecks and one nice passionate kiss and they're all in basically the last 3 eps of the series.

The last episode sucks. Stop at episode 15. Seriously. Don't watch episode 16. Why oh why do you let terrible people back in your life? Qi Ke Zhong and Ding Hui Fan are toxic and should but cut out of their lives. The end of ep 15 had a happy ending with a family-style breakfast for our two sisters with their boyfriends. Ep 16 threw in some more misunderstanding, jealousy, and separations followed by a time skip for no reason and brought back my two least favorite characters.

Anyway, I will live in my little world with Yang Duo and her sweet lawyer boyfriend Liang Zhi Hao (Ian Yim/Cyran Yan/Yan Yi En yeah, this actor has three stage names) that supports her interests and self-determination while they save money on mass transit by using his motorbike. And they build her dream home that she designs. Perhaps they put aside funds for her to pursue a degree in what she's passionate about.

#down with love #twdrama #drama critical #ella chen #jerry yan #kelly huang #yang guo #xiang yu ping #yang duo

[thejanewestin]

Gravity, chapter 1 (Mirandy)

Andy Sachs was not a scientist. 

 She felt that this was an important point to make, particularly in the weekly staff meetings, when the scientific editors’ discussion of the latest endosymbiont or cytokine or whatever devolved into semi-hysterical PubMed searches and emphatic data-set thumping. Eventually, after they’d worn themselves out squawking at each other, they’d turn to her to tie-break. 

 “Guys,” she’d say. “I am not a scientist.”

 But she was the managing editor, and despite having a pay grade significantly below that of the Ph.D.s in the room, it somehow fell to her to figure out which of the six nearly-identical Figure 1s to use. 

 “Your problem is you’re too capable,” Trixie said, examining the underside of her coffee mug with an expression that was half interest and half revulsion.

 “You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Andy closed her laptop and scrubbed both hands over her aching eyeballs. “Are you ready to go?”

 “What do you suppose this is?” Trixie held the mug out to Andy, bottom-side first, where a wad of something grayish-blue was firmly affixed.

 Andy made a face. “Walt’s gum,” she said.

 Trixie shuddered. “I was afraid you’d say that,” she said. She reached over and put the mug onto Walt’s desk. “That dude is a sociopath. I can’t believe I dated him.”

 “Stop.” Andy let Trixie pull her to her feet. “I can’t handle any romantic navel-gazing tonight. I need ravioli.”

 They stopped at Trattoria Giulia on the way home, stomping their feet on the cracked sidewalk in a vain defense against the icy night wind as they waited at the window. 

 “Whoever thought a spaghetti counter was a good idea—” Trixie started.

 “Was a genius,” Andy finished, tearing into her bag and finding a breadstick. She crammed half of it into her mouth while they walked the rest of the way home. 

 “SVU?” Trixie asked, once they were ensconced in their apartment. 

 “Nyet,” Andy said, finding a spoon in the pile of dirty dishes in the sink and wiping it on a dish towel. “Too tired. Going to eat ravioli in bed and pass out.”

 Trixie flopped on the couch. “Suit yourself.”

 Andy managed to splatter minimal tomato sauce on the bedspread, which was pretty good for ten o’clock at night, she thought. She scrolled through emails as she chewed. Submission, submission, submission, submission. The journal was pretty successful, even though its impact factor would never break the threes. And she liked her job. It wasn’t the hard-hitting journalism career she’d envisioned when she’d graduated from college, but it was good, satisfying work. 

 It was a little funny, actually, that she’d taken such a roundabout route to end up right back in New York. It had started with a little job in Boston—editing press releases for a medical journal—and when she and Nate had ended it a year later, she’d moved back to Ohio. A colleague from the Boston journal had put a good word in for her in Cincinnati. Eighteen months after she’d started, the whole publication had moved to Queens, and they’d taken her with them. Trixie’s claim that she was too capable had served her pretty well, all things considered, and she’d been promoted to managing editor just before her thirty-first birthday.

 Submission, submission, submission. All things that could be handled at the office tomorrow. She scrolled faster. 

 And then she saw a name. 

 Andy’s thumb slammed on her phone screen so hard she accidentally minimized her mail app. “Fuck,” she muttered, opening it again, and there it was, in bold Helvetica Neue. 

 Every cell in Andy’s body seemed to turn to ice. 

 EXTERNAL, the email said. Submission. 

 And the name above it:

 Cassidy Priestly.

 ***

 They’d be twenty-two now. It was hard to fathom—her brain had put them into a kind of temporal lock, freezing them eternally as bratty twelve-year-olds. She’d spent more time than she cared to admit Googling Miranda, but she had sort of forgotten about the twins.

 Cassidy didn’t have a LinkedIn, but Caroline did. She was following in her mother’s footsteps, apparently—her current position was listed as Photography Intern, Elias-Clark. She looked like a younger, freckled Miranda, all cheekbones and chin and that aquiline nose. Heavy eyeliner. No smile.

 Andy flipped back to Cassidy’s submission. It was a PDF, too small to read on her phone, so she put the ravioli container on her nightstand and reached for her laptop. Cassidy was the first author, so she would have done the bulk of the writing. The last name listed was a Ph.D. at Columbia. It was a name she’d seen in print a number of times, although never at Cellular Function. 

 Andy read. For a moment, absorbed in the text, she allowed herself to forget the paper’s author. It was a descriptive study on regulatory kinesins in microtubules, and although it was quite a bit more specialized than what the journal usually published, the writing was good and the design seemed solid. She skimmed enough to decide which of her colleagues should review it, deidentified it, and forwarded it to Rashad. Her hands, she realized, had become ice-cold. 

 She felt nervous. 

 It was a strange, foreign feeling, like someone had whooshed her consciousness back into her twenty-three-year-old body. She felt exactly like she had for the entirety of the almost-year at Runway, and she knew exactly why.

 Miranda.

 She wouldn’t be the one to decide whether or not the paper would be accepted—that was Rashad’s job, and he’d review it blindly, without knowing the authors. But it would be her name on the letter. She could just imagine Cassidy presenting a rejection to her mother. Would she remember Andy?

 She wondered, briefly, if it was possible to recuse herself from a submission, as an attorney might recuse herself from a case in which there was a conflict of interest. Oh, God. If the paper got rejected, she was going to have to quit her job. 

 No. She shook herself. What was she thinking? Cellular Function had nothing to do with Runway. There was absolutely no overlap between scientific journals and fashion writing. Miranda reigned over Elias-Clark, sure; her reach might even extend to print media beyond New York. But Andy would bet her left pinky that no one in her current sphere—besides Trixie, of course—even knew who Miranda Priestly was.

 She swallowed her anxiety with a few more bites of her now-cold ravioli. Old habits, it turned out, died hard. 

 She showered, turned off the lights, and climbed into bed, but sleep was a long time coming.

 ***

 The paper did not get accepted. 

 Andy had known it wouldn’t. Upon closer reading the following morning, it really was too specialized for their applied-science journal. More suited for Experimental Cell or Developmental Immunology. Three weeks after she sent it to Rashad, she got the email back that it had been rejected. Fuck.

 She copy-pasted the rejection template into an email reply to Cassidy and her coauthors, staring at it for a long time as she chewed on her thumbnail. It was a good study. It would surely be accepted at a different journal, and she could come up with four or five off the top of her head. 

 Cassidy’s mentor would know that. She was undoubtedly accustomed to rejections, and would have a list of next choices to which the article would be submitted. 

 And yet.

 It wasn’t exactly forbidden to deviate from the standard reply, nor was it exactly forbidden to give recommendations for future submissions. But in her seven years at the publication, Andy had never done so; had never seen the need. Now, though, she wanted to, and she had the uncomfortable realization that it wasn’t because she worried about Cassidy’s disappointment. 

 It was because she was worried about Miranda’s.

 She didn’t want Miranda to see Andy’s name at the bottom of that letter and think that Andy was responsible for her daughter’s failure to appear in the journal she’d selected. After all this time, after everything Miranda had put her through, she didn’t want to let Miranda down.

 She sent the template off to Cassidy, just as she’d done for the past seven years, with no additional commentary or suggestions.  Then she did something that was either exceptionally kind or exceptionally stupid: she opened her personal email and sent Cassidy a message. 

 Dear Ms. Priestly:

 Thank you for your submission to Cellular Function. Although your work was not accepted, the writing was — what? Andy thought. Good? No, it was better than good, although Cassidy’s youth and inexperience showed. The writing was more than acceptable. Please consider submitting to the following journals.

 She listed the five she could think of—she had friends at three of them—thanked Cassidy again for her work, and sent the email before she could think better of it.

 Probably exceptionally stupid, she decided, immediately after the soft whoosh of the message zooming away. She had no doubt that her boss would have something to say about her endorsement of journals other than their own. 

 She wondered if Cassidy would tell Miranda about it. The thought made her feel unsettled and uneasy—and, although she didn’t like to admit it to herself, just the tiniest bit hopeful.

 ***

 Cassidy’s reply that afternoon was just one sentence, and Andy’s burst of laughter was so loud that Trixie jumped and glared at her.

 ANDREA SACHS IS THAT YOU?

 Well. Maybe not so stupid after all.

 It’s me, she typed back. Surprised you remember.

 The response this time was almost instantaneous. Of course! Harry Potter! Are you still in the city? Let’s have coffee. And her phone number. 

 The immediate familiarity, such a stark contrast to her mother’s standoffishness, took Andy slightly aback. At least the brevity was familiar. 

 Sure, she sent back. Which was why, two days later, she was sitting in a Starbucks on the Columbia campus, waiting to greet someone she had thought she’d never see again.

 Cassidy arrived at precisely five-thirty, saw Andy at once, and beamed. “Oh my God,” she said.

 Andy got to her feet. Cassidy didn’t quite hug her, but she took Andy’s hand in both of hers and pulled her in for an air-kiss near Andy’s cheek. The residue of high society, Andy supposed.

 “I can’t believe it’s you,” Cassidy exclaimed. Her blue eyes were sparkling behind outsized tortoiseshell glasses. Her bright copper hair had been cropped into a shaggy lob, and she was wearing clothes that Andy was fairly certain Miranda would hate: a gigantic Columbia sweatshirt, leggings, and beat-up Ugg boots. A messenger bag with a seat-belt strap was slung over her shoulder. She looked every inch the graduate student. 

 “I’m sorry about your paper,” Andy said by way of greeting.

 Cassidy waved a dismissive hand and dropped into the armchair across from Andy’s. “Don’t worry about it. Aisha has a publication plan that’s sixteen journals deep for everything she puts her name on.”

 Andy felt a little silly at that, since in her mind’s eye, she had only really seen the disappointed face of a young adolescent. “Oh. Good,” she said lamely.

 “Your email was so nice,” Cassidy added quickly. “I really appreciated it.” She slid her bag off her shoulder and dropped it on the floor, and as she did so, Andy saw the flash of a small diamond on the ring finger of her left hand.

 Cassidy followed her gaze, and for a moment, Andy saw the impish twinkle of so many years ago. She held her hand up and waggled her fingers. “Two months ago,” she said, grinning wickedly. “He’s an engineer. Mom was pissed.”

 Andy laughed, even as something in her chest twinged at the mention of Miranda. “I can only imagine.”

 It was a nice visit—really nice, Andy thought, after Cassidy had left for class. She’d learned a lot about the twins’ lives. Cassidy was, as she’d assumed, in a Ph.D. program in microbiology. Caroline had graduated from the Tisch photography school. They didn’t live together, but their apartments were three blocks apart, and Cassidy was thinking of moving in with the fiancé after her lease was up. 

 What she didn’t mention—what Andy desperately wanted to ask, but didn’t dare—was anything about Miranda, other than a brief roll of her eyes when she mentioned “cohabitation.”

She didn’t say if Miranda was still in the townhouse, if she’d remarried, if she was happy. She’d be fifty-six in November; was she still the formidable figure of a decade ago, or had she softened with age?

 Cassidy hadn’t said; had carefully avoided the topic at all. Andy had the feeling that there was a lot about Cassidy’s life these days that Miranda didn’t know. So she doubted, very much, that Cassidy would mention their meeting to Miranda.

 And she couldn’t quite decide if that knowledge brought relief or disappointment.

 ***

 Cassidy texted her the following week—favor to ask. It turned out she was writing two other papers and wondered if Andy would look over them before she submitted, if she had time. 

 Andy didn’t have time, but she had liked seeing Cassidy and wanted her to do well. And she had to admit, it gave her a sort of gleeful satisfaction to see the apple falling so far from the polished-gleam tree. 

 They met two more times at the Starbucks, this time for revisions. The engineer fiancé, Patrick, stopped by the second time. He was sweet to Cassidy, and cheerfully greeted Andy, and for a moment Andy remembered how in love she’d been with Nate at twenty-two. She hoped Patrick and Cassidy would last. 

 The fourth time they met, Cassidy arrived looking pale and terrified. “I’m sorry—” she got out, just before the door swung open and Miranda stepped inside.

 Andy froze. 

 The Chanel sunglasses rotated slowly and stopped at Andy. One eyebrow crept up. 

 “I don’t know how she knew it was you—” Cassidy hissed, as Miranda took slow, deliberate steps toward them. Her cheeks were bright pink. “I’m really sorry.”

 “Andrea.” Miranda’s voice, cool and aloof, unchanged in ten years. 

 Andy realized she was standing. When had she stood up? Her heart was hammering so hard she could feel it in her toes. 

 Miranda looked—well. Miranda looked amazing. It was still cool enough, in early April, for outerwear, and Miranda’s black fitted coat cut a silhouette far too classy for a college campus coffee shop. A white silk scarf was knotted at her throat—Hermès, no doubt. Her lips were pale pink, a shade entirely at odds with her terrifying deportment. Heads turned. 

 “Miranda,” Andy managed to say. Her voice sounded strangled. 

 Miranda lowered herself elegantly into the chair next to Cassidy’s, as though it was completely normal for the editor-in-chief of the biggest fashion magazine in the industry to be hanging around with graduate students and aspiring playwrights. She tipped her chin down just a little—just enough for Andy to meet her ice-blue gaze. “So you’re the mysterious proofreader,” she murmured, her expression entirely unreadable. 

 Cassidy collapsed back into her chair and put her face in her hands. “Why are you like this,” she groaned.

 Miranda appeared not to notice. “Sit, please, Andrea.”

 Andy sat. 

 “Cassidy, bobbsey,” Miranda said, removing her sunglasses and placing them on the crumb-dusted table, “be a darling and get Mummy a latte, won’t you?” 

 “Oh my God,” Cassidy said, with an adolescent flounce, but she got up and went to the counter. 

 Andy couldn’t think. Literally couldn’t think. How many times had she imagined this scene—reuniting with Miranda, apologizing for her phone-tossing temper tantrum and for her epic Parisian storm-out? Garnering Miranda’s forgiveness? Maybe, heaven help her, even earning a little of Miranda’s respect for the place she’d carved out for herself in publishing? She was, after all, an editor now too. 

 But despite herself, she was just sat here, dumbly staring at the woman whose presence loomed so large in her life even now, and she couldn’t think of a damn thing to say.

 Fortunately, Miranda didn’t seem to require much of a response. Or any, for that matter. 

 “Cassidy’s happiness is of utmost importance to me,” Miranda said softly.

 Well, duh. “Right,” Andy said blankly. 

 “She is an extremely driven young woman.” Miranda’s eyes darted momentarily toward her daughter, who was now nibbling on a pink cake pop as she waited for the latte. Then they fixed back on Andy, “And her drive has taken her into a field about which I know very little.”

 I’ll say. Still, Andy was surprised that Miranda was willing to admit any gap in her knowledge, no matter how obvious. She tried to keep her expression neutral, to avoid reinforcing Miranda’s assertion and possibly causing offense. 

 “You, Andrea,” Miranda continued, not quite meeting Andy’s gaze, “are in the unique position to influence my daughter’s career more than I.”

 Ah.

 So that was it. Miranda wanted to make sure she didn’t fuck up Cassidy’s trajectory. Of course that was what it was. She had no interest in Andy’s apology, no interest in Andy’s life. 

 Caught between dismay and indignation, Andy straightened her spine. “Look, Miranda,” she said, “I may not be walking the red carpet, but I’m good at my job. I’m not going to crash her plane into the mountain, okay?”

 Something that looked like surprise flashed across Miranda’s face, but before she could respond, Cassidy appeared at her elbow. “Your latte, your majesty,” she said, setting the cup onto the table. 

 Miranda’s expression morphed into a gracious smile. “Thank you, my love,” she said, reaching for her sunglasses. “I’ll let you two work, shall I?” She stood without a second glance at Andy, taking her coffee, and kissing the air beside Cassidy’s head before gliding out the door to her waiting car.

 Cassidy looked mortified. “What did she say? Never mind. I don’t want to know.”

 “It’s fine.” Andy’s heart rate was starting to come back down into the normal range. “Don’t worry about it.” Although she still felt flushed and angry at the implication that she was going to —what? Get Cassidy blacklisted from Cell? Keep her from a tenure-track position? 

 “I’m sorry,” Cassidy said again, miserably. 

 “Seriously,” Andy said. “Stop. Let’s just finish this draft, okay?”

 ***

 Andrea,

I would appreciate a meeting. Wednesday at The Modern, 8pm?

 “What the fuck,” Andy muttered.

 What did that even mean? I would appreciate a meeting. “Well, I would appreciate a raise and an extra six weeks of vacation,” Trixie said, when Andy spun the laptop toward her emphatically. “Are you going to go?”

 “I mean—” Andy flopped her hands helplessly at her side. She didn’t particularly relish the idea of an encore of the Starbucks conversation. At the same time, the brief interaction had reminded her why she sought—why she craved—Miranda’s approval way back then. 

 Of course, a few other things had come to light in the past few years, as well.

 After she and Nate had reconciled and she’d made the move to join him in Boston, he had been so happy. The new job. A bigger apartment. He’d brought her flowers every week on his way home from the restaurant. Andy had blamed her diminishing interest—and libido—on depression: she’d been unable to find a position with any of the local newspapers, not even in Classifieds, and she refused to call Runway for a reference. Miranda had already handed her one favor and she would not be further beholden. When she finally landed the little position at the medical journal, she did feel better, but something with Nate had been irrevocably lost. 

 There was a girl at the journal. Her name was, improbably, Logan, and she had close-cropped hair and graceful wrists. 

 Andy would gaze at the ceiling while Nate groaned and sweated against her, and she would think about those wrists. She started to close her eyes when Nate kissed her. The feeling of his stubble against her skin made her flinch.

 Nate wasn’t obtuse. “Is there someone else?” he’d asked.

 No, of course not, she’d said, and there hadn’t been, even though her thoughts had wandered long ago to arms, and shoulders, and the brush of short auburn curls against the curve of a downy neck.

 He asked, and she protested. Again and again, for months, until one day he stopped asking, stopped trying to touch her at all. When she told him she was leaving, he didn’t look surprised.

 She kissed a woman for the first time two days after her twenty-sixth birthday, both of them happily tipsy in the middle of the dance floor of a downtown Cincinnati nightclub. Andy hadn’t even gotten her name, but the following morning, lying in bed with a screaming hangover, she thought a lot of things in her life had just become a whole lot clearer.

 It had taken Trixie’s droll observation after her third date in a week—“You definitely have a type”—to make Andy realize that there was a huge, terrifying reason that she had tried so hard to curry Miranda’s favor.

 “I wanted to sleep with my boss,” she told Trixie over the phone, at three in the morning on a Wednesday. 

 Trixie’s voice was thick with sleep, but she sounded shocked nonetheless. “Cheryl?” she said.

 “No.” Andy put her hand over her eyes. “Miranda.”

 “Oh.” The shock dissipated. “Yeah, dude, you and everyone else.”

 Andy blinked. “Really?”

 “Yes.” Trixie sounded like she was rolling her eyes. “Hot and mean? Duh. I’m going back to sleep.”

 ***

“So are you?”

 Andy blinked. “What?”

 Trixie pointed at the screen. “Going to meet Miranda.”

 “Oh.” Andy turned the laptop back toward herself. “Um. I don’t know. I guess so. Yeah.”

 “Good thing you have two days to make up your mind,” Trixie said, sounding amused, and turned back to her own computer.

 Would she go? Of course she would go. Any uncertainty was pretense. 

 She sent back one word.

 Yes.

#mirandy #wip #janewestin writes #miranda priestly #andrea sachs #andy sachs #the devil wears prada #fanfiction #work in progress

[honeymoonjin]

enjoy your stay - chapter four

A/N Word count is around 3.7k. Warnings: cursing and mentions of sexual content.

ENJOY YOUR STAY ↳Boss!Namjoon, Chef!Jin, Receptionist!Hoseok, Bellboy!Jimin, Bartender!Jungkook, Accountant!Yoongi, Photography student!Taehyung ↳Some inappropriate language and cursing. Later chapters will have sexual content.

SUMMARY ↳Working the graveyard shift at a hotel isn’t the most exciting job in the world, but your coworkers are certainly happy to have you here.

CHAPTER FOUR ↳Blackmail does funny things to a person, but is it really as doom-and-gloomy as you think? You learn some interesting information about certain workers in the hotel that change your perspective about your own situation.

Things have been tense within the wallpapered halls of the hotel.

Not that sweet oblivious Namjoon would have the slightest clue.

Ever since Tae’s extremely inappropriate version of blackmail, you’ve been trying your best to keep your distance from both him and Jimin in the hopes that they’ll hook up on their own and save you the grey hairs.

Part of you wants to just go to Namjoon yourself and tell him what happened with Jin. Tae’s acting like you had sex with the guy, but it never got past kissing, so maybe you could survive with a slap on the wrist and go on your merry way.

But even though Jin and you both knew what happened, there weren’t any security cameras in the walk in chiller and even if there were, Tae was right. You didn’t think you could handle the look of disappointment on Namjoon‘s face when you told him you went behind his back, and took this long to tell him, too.

Your only hope was to get Tae to live out his bellboy fantasies and leave you alone. Hopefully sooner rather than later.

In the meantime, you had been putting all your brainpower between the hours of 11pm to 7am into your job. It was almost the end of the month, which meant reports were due soon, and Yoongi was around the hotel a lot more, just like he was that first night.

It was crazy to think you’d been here almost a month, and Yoongi’s returned presence in the hotel made it feel like more of a milestone.

He still stuck to the bar, although he never drank, and he was always in a sharp suit with mussed-up hair, like he had come straight from a day at the office. Whenever you would do your rounds and come upon the glorious sight of his back hunched over, white dress shirt taut across his shoulders, you thanked your lucky stars you worked in a place where even the accountant was one of the sexiest men in town.

This morning, he had been here before you started working, and was still poring over pages and pages of figures and tables and charts at 3am.

You had promised yourself that you would look after him just as much as you did the other staff members while you were on duty, and so you found yourself with a mug of decaf coffee in one hand and a little bowl of fries you got Jin to put through before he headed home.

As usual, Yoongi didn’t look up when you approached, trusting that you’d call out to him if you needed him. It wasn’t until he heard the clink of the plate and mug against the glass top of the bar that he put his pen down and glanced over.

He always looked tired, but you couldn’t help but furrow your eyebrows in concern when he made eye contact. The bags under his eyes looked more like smudges of charcoal and his gaze was glassy and unfocused.

You knew he had a pair of glasses; you had seen them when you visited his office that night, but he hated wearing them and so just suffered the headaches of eye strain.

You clear your throat a little and shoot him a friendly smile. “You’ve been here for a while so I thought I’d get you some food to keep you going. I didn’t know how you took your coffee so I brought a couple packets of sugar in case. Oh, and don’t worry, it’s decaf, so you won’t have trouble sleeping when you finish up.”

He raises his eyebrows in bemusement but graces you with a small, close-lipped smirk. “Accountants are sharks, darling. We never stop swimming or we’ll drown.”

You blink, struggling to process what he means when you were so caught off-guard by the pet name. “Uh, we have normal coffee. I can come back with-“

“Decaf is fine. I’m just messing with you.”

“Oh.” You nod slowly, waiting for him to say thank you, but after a moment of silence that begins to get uncomfortable, you turn to leave. “Anyway, I better get-“

“You know what I can’t work out?” You freeze, mouth still half open from before you were interrupted. He waits for you to shrug before continuing. “Jin has always spent the most each month, that’s no surprise, but normally it’s because he buys expensive ingredients or wants to try new dishes all the time. But this month, he’s gone through an entire 20L tub of vanilla ice cream in less than two weeks. He’s brought two of them. Normally it takes about five weeks to go through one.” His eyes are hard, staring deeply into you, and all of a sudden you decide he probably wasn’t just joking when he said all accountants were sharks. “Why is that?”

The air is sucked out of the room. “I’ll- I’ll ask Jin for you and let you know what he says.”

He holds your gaze for a moment, then like magic the domineering energy fades away, and he rubs his eyes tiredly. “That would be great, thanks. God, report week turns me into a demon. I swear I’m not usually this harsh.”

You don’t trust yourself to reply with the rate that your heart is beating, so you let out a nervous laugh and leave as quickly as you can.

In Namjoon’s office is a list of all the employees contact details, and you track down Jin’s number while Namjoon is distracted with sending emails, sneaking out the back of the empty kitchen to call him.

Part of you feels guilty, since when he finally picks up after eight rings, his voice is a few octaves deeper and rusty from being woken up, but the two of you need to get your story straight before somebody catches you in a lie.

“I’m sorry for waking you, but it’s important.”

“You didn’t wake me. You can call me anytime, you know. I’ll add your number to my contacts after this so that I always know it’s you.”

Even though he lied about being awake, his words bring a blush to your cheeks. “Okay, if you’re sure. Anyway, Yoongi’s at the hotel sorting out the finances and he’s a little suspicious that you went through the ice cream so quick.”

“What? I haven’t gone through it already. I’m not that miserable.”

You sigh. “That’s not what- Look, all Yoongi can see on the receipts is that you bought a tub, and then two weeks later, bought another one even though you should’ve been barely halfway through the first.”

Jin swears, and if it wasn’t for the unfortunate context, you would’ve loved to hear it again in that raspy tone. “What did you say?”

“I said I’d call you and ask. We need to sort out what’s going on so that we don’t expose ourselves for misconduct. I know the ice cream thing is small, but Yoongi isn’t the only one that’s suspicious. Namjoon’s little brother was in the kitchen when I left. He knows something happened and if he knows we can’t guarantee he won’t tell Namjoon. And then what?”

“Namjoon won’t fire us.”

“Maybe not fire us, but he definitely won’t be happy if he finds out.”

Jin grunts. “If he gets mad, he’s a jealous hypocrite.”

Your response dies in your throat. “Wh- What? What do you mean?”

You hear a whistling in the static background of the call and figure he’s probably making himself a cup of coffee to wake up fully. The guilt at ruining his sleep returns again but he replies before you get the chance to feel too bad.

“Look, I wouldn’t tell you this if we weren’t already in this situation, but Namjoon isn’t going to think any less of you for being romantically involved with colleagues. It doesn’t happen often with the night shift since we’re all dudes, but Namjoon and I... we were together before my girlfriend and I even met.”

You thank your lucky stars you didn’t make this phone call while still in Namjoon’s office. “Together together?”

Jin sighs and takes a sip of his drink before continuing. “I worked here for a couple of years before he bought the place and saved us from shutting down. When he came in, he was barely 21. He didn’t know what he was doing, really, and he relied on me a lot since I knew more about the hotel and how things ran. I was grateful to him for saving my job and my career, and... things just went from there. We were together for just under a year.”

You bit your lip, dragging your teeth over the skin as you processed that information. “Okay. So it doesn’t matter if he finds out? Wait, why did you guys break up? Will he be mad that you went to me instead of him?”

He makes a strangled sound in his throat. “That’s personal, I’m afraid. I’m only telling you this so that you can sleep easy knowing your job isn’t on the line. I’ll handle Namjoon if he does find out, okay? Just tell Yoongi one of the kitchen hands left the tub on the bench and it melted so I got a new one. He’ll get grouchy that I didn’t just re-freeze it but he thinks I’m stupid anyway.” You stay silent, not wanting to admit you had completely forgotten about the whole ice cream ordeal in the wake of the news Jin had dropped on you. “I’m going to see if I can get some more sleep. I’ll see you tomorrow. If you want, you could come a bit early to work and I can make you some dinner after the service ends?” He would never admit it to you, but the way his sentence lifts at the end belies his nervousness.

“Yeah, that sounds great, Jin. I’ll be sure to send my compliments to the chef.”

He laughs. “Bye bye, now.”

“See you, Jin.”

You hang up and take a few moments in the musty closet to compose yourself before heading back down the hallway to the bar.

Recently, when going down to the lobby to check up on Hoseok, you’ve been as quick as you could manage without Hoseok getting suspicious, and you’ve successfully managed to leave before Jimin makes it over to the reception desk.

Tonight, however, Hoseok seems to have cottoned on to your desperate attempts, and is making you change the receipt rolls in the eftpos machine even though you know full well he can do it himself.

“Ah, so the new roll just goes in there, I see. Thanks for your help, muppet.” Hoseok is sitting at his chair, one elbow on the table, stroking his chin and nodding thoughtfully.

From the corner of your eye you see the bellboy ominously approaching and grimace. The last thing you need is Jimin bringing up your conversation about Tae. From the way Hobi grins at you when he thinks you aren’t looking, Jimin’s possibly told him already.

Although you studiously avoid looking up, you can see the brilliant smile stretched across Jimin’s face as he makes more progress than he has in the past week.

“Well, considering there’s literally no other place for it to go, and it was where you got the old one out, yes, Hoseok, that’s where the roll goes.”

He pulls a face at your attitude but doesn’t say anything.

Jimin calls out your name, and you stand up slowly in resignation.

“Feels like ages since we’ve spoke!”

Now that you actually look at him, you feel a little bad. Yes, he’s a shameless horndog who’s ass is so good you’ve been blackmailed into setting him up, but he doesn’t know about the whole Tae thing, and it’s clear from the way his smile doesn’t quite reach his eyes that he’s upset with the way you’ve been treating him.

You melt a little inside with shame. “Namjoon’s been super stressed with trying to get everything sorted for the monthly report, that he’s got me feeling anxious by association. I’ve kind of been running around like a headless chicken lately.” Both of those points were true, if not actually related.

“You get off in like an hour, right? Us three should go get breakfast after the day staff come in. Jennie’s usually here on time, although the receptionist lady is like twenty minutes late most of the time. I think she has kids to drop off to school, though, so what can you do?” He laughs shakily, catching himself from rambling too much.

Hobi jumps in to save him. “The coffee shop across the street does bagels, I think. We could go there, it’s pretty quiet before 8am.”

The angelic hope in Jimin’s eyes and the warning stare of Hobi make it impossible to say no. And a small part of you thrives on the attention the two men always give you. Okay, a pretty big part of you enjoys the attention.

“Only if you let me shout the coffees, I owe you for being a little distracted lately.”

The jingle of the doorbell means Jimin’s services are required, but he wraps you in a tight bear hug and whispers a goodbye in your ear before you go.

You breathe out heavily and lean against Hoseok’s desk, the two of you quietly watching Jimin chatting up the small family that have walked in, making conversation like it’s the easiest thing in the world.

“He’s got the biggest crush on you.”

Your observations are interrupted by Hoseok’s sudden comment. “What?”

He sways lazily back and forth in his chair. “I mean, probably all of us on the night shift are into you, we’re not blind, but he seems to really really like you. He was so upset when you weren’t speaking to him.”

“I knew you were acting all dumb to get me to stay at the desk longer.”

Hoseok blinks. “Huh? Oh, no, I actually did need your help with the eftpos machine. Normally I call Namjoon down to do it for me, so I’ve never done it myself.” He puts on a bright smile as the guests finally finish with their luggage and turn to approach the desk. He pauses. “Wait, what do you mean dumb?”

You snort, pat his shoulder, and leave him to deal with the guests.

It’s not until you are sitting across from Jimin in a cramped little cafe that you realise the implications of your previous conversation with Jin. This whole time, you were avoiding Jimin because of Tae’s perverted version of blackmail, but if Namjoon wouldn’t do anything should Tae tell him, then there was no reason for you to hold up your end of the deal.

Who needs to share, anyway?

“So, Jimin, what do you do outside of working?” You were a little sore that you had offered to pay for breakfast; the coffee was way too hot to even touch, and the bagels were soggy.

He lit up when you asked. “Actually, I’m a dancer.”

“Oh, no way!” You gave yourself a mental reminder to check him out once he stood up to see if he had a real dancers body. Up until that point you had only really paid attention to his gorgeous face and perfect ass.

“Yeah! Work’s a little rare for a dancer, though, so I’m posting some stuff on YouTube in the hopes that it’ll take off and go from there.”

Hobi, who was the only one of the three of you devouring his bagel, hummed enthusiastically around a mountain of cream cheese and jam. “He’s really great! You should check it out!”

Jimin’s smile softens and his cheeks heat up with the praise from his coworker. You get him to write the channel name on a napkin and promise to watch his videos when you get home. Even if you weren’t interested in his dancing, you were at the very least curious as to what he looked like out of his bellboy uniform and in some regular clothes.

The three of you spent almost an hour in the cafe, the two of them sharing stories about Jin setting a tablecloth on fire when serving a flambé dish, or Jungkook thinking that a scotch on the rocks used actual stones in the glass and you talking about the time you had to call a locksmith into the hotel at 2 in the morning because Namjoon somehow managed to break off the handle on the inside of his office and get locked inside.

By the time you parted ways, promising to find a better place to eat next time, it was well into the morning, just about 9:30, and you regretted choosing a coffee rather than something that would allow you to get some sleep.

Both men had already disappeared into the crowds, Hobi walking to his block of flats and Jimin catching the bus to his parents house, and instead of heading home yourself, you decided to return to the hotel, wide awake and ready for confrontation.

You went straight to Tae’s room rather than checking the bar or restaurant, and as luck would have it, he opened up a few moments after you knocked on the door.

He had the same sly grin on his face as he usually wore when he let you inside, leaning against the back of the door with his arms crossed.

“You have news?”

“Not the news you’re expecting.”

He frowns at this, tilting his head in confusion. “He’s not interested in me anymore?”

“I’m not interested in you anymore,” you counter. He scrunches up his face even more. “I’m not going to play matchmaker anymore. If you want to get your dick wet, you can do it yourself.”

You watch him curiously as he pushes off from the door, saunters past you and collapses onto the bed, one arm propping up his head. “Might I remind you that your job is on the line here?”

You shrug. “I would disagree with you. Fuck the bellboy, be my guest, but I don’t want to be a part of it.”

He shifts onto his stomach, grinning again. “Even if you aren’t helping me anymore doesn’t mean you don’t have to be a part of it. I already told you that you’re welcome to join.”

You scoff, but his intense gaze still has you flustered. “Thanks for the kind offer. I think I’ll pass.”

“Well, I suppose chefs are more your pay grade.”

A choked gasp of protest leaves your mouth. “Listen, mister, we didn’t have sex, we just kissed! And besides, it’s none of your business.”

For the first time since you’ve met him, Tae actually looks caught off guard. “Wait, you aren’t fucking him? Oh,” he mutters, “never mind, then.”

You stare at him incredulously. “How are you at all related to Namjoon?”

He sits himself up on the end of the bed. “I just thought...”

“You thought I was the hotel slut that slept with any living body within its walls?”

He rubs the back of his neck. “Yeah, kinda.”

“Well, that’s just...” You trail off, not sure how you could possibly respond to that. “You’re wrong. I’ve only worked here for a month.”

He smirks at you again, but more cheeky than sly. “So, what I’m hearing is that you’re not the hotel slut yet?”

Your lips twitch and you desperately try to keep a straight face. “Have a good day, Mr Kim.”

“Should I ask again in a couple weeks, or...?”

You turn to the door quickly but you know he saw your incredulous grin by the sing-songy way he calls goodbye.

#bts au #bts x reader #bts imagine #bts fanfic #bts fic #bts scenario #jin x reader #namjoon x reader #hoseok x reader #yoongi x reader #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jeongguk x reader #jungkook x reader #enjoy your stay

[bewarecreepercomics]

Beware the Creeper #2

I’m into this cover. Our hero, front and center, bright against the muted colors of the background. Hostile gazes from all angles any or all of which might belong to the newly introduced Proteus. Heck yeah.

Little bit of a color whoopsie on the boots, but that wasn’t uncommon on older comics. Funnily enough, my copy of the Steve Ditko Creeper Collection doesn’t fix this, though it does fix some other color mistakes.

Our comic opens with a cute bit of meta: credits on the title card. Looks like the station is doing a little report on the Creeper. Jack seems pretty unconcerned by this, considering it could spell the end of yet another career, and his personal freedom.

You just keep living your life carefree and easy there Jack. It’s not going to come back to bite you in thirty seconds, I promise. Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain.

I love the look on his face here. “Do I really sound like that?” Also, he’s doing the hand thing. Take a shot.

Geez dude, I know he was talking shit, but that newscaster does not deserve what is about to happen to him. By the way, all of you are standing way to close to this frankly gigantic grenade. Thing is about as big as a real pineapple.

I goddamn told you so. Also, that newscaster’s body must have been made of steel-he’s dead, sure, bit he’s still intact.

As you can imagine, this is a pretty bad turn for our Jack. Creeper is already wanted by the cops for the crimes of vigilantism, assault, and indecent exposure, now they’re just going to add murder to that rap sheet. And who would believe that this was a frame up? Certainly not Jacks boss, who is even more gung ho to get that guy than usual.

Even though that’s still not a part of his job. I can’t stress this enough.

The story on who the Creeper really is was dead wrong of course. Some simplistic but sensational tale of him being a shill for some illegal gambling mogul named ‘Legs’ Larson. What is it about gangsters being named after body parts?  

It’s the part of the body they like to break most, isn’t it? Just call me ‘Hearts’ Mackenzie then.

Anyway, Jack has to rush off in search of evidence, because he’s somehow completely uninjured from the explosion mere hours ago, and he definitely doesn’t need to sleep or anything, ever. But before he can even make it out of the building, he is faced with yet another bombshell:

Ambushed! Turns out it’s just a publicity stunt though. Vera’s non-feelings for our hero haven’t changed in the least. In revenge for this, Jack locks her in a broom closet and goes on his way.

True Love, everybody!

Once free of the dame, he heads straight to Larson’s place. You know, for the one not named ‘Legs’, Jack sure does a lot of legwork. Larson’s place is a huge mansion, with loads of people coming and going, and a whole group of bodyguards at the gate. How is it that the cops can’t get any evidence to put this guy away? He is not subtle.

I mean, this is all set up right in the freaking living room, has no one thought to sneak up to the window with a camera or something? Jack smoked all the guards by himself, and the cops can’t? No one in this joint is paying attention!

Case in point:

Lol.

Yeah, he just wanders through the whole mansion, wearing the brightest colors on the spectrum and absolutely everybody failed their perception check.

He doesn’t even try to sneak up on Larson, just busts into his office, a-punching away. Then this guy(?) shows up.

I’d like to point out that, up to this point, Larson had said nothing at all that could be counted as a betrayal, or even as a lead-up to a betrayal. This unfinished theater mask just really wanted to shoot somebody.

Proteus is both a really good shot, and a really bad shot. Like, he hit that guy, even though Creeper was standing in front of him, with his back to the gun. But then, he missed Creeper, who was standing in front of that guy, with his back to the gun! 

To be fair though, Creeper flubs as well, allowing Proteus to escape.

Well, Larson initially wasn’t going to betray his boss, but in lieu of recent events: Fuck that guy.

Welp, a man has died. Let’s treat that with the respect that only Silver Age dialogue can give us!

I’m not kidding, this is the very next panel.

Continuing in true Creeper form, he busts out of there and breaks up the party, as conspicuously as possible, causing a panic at the party, and a rush into the streets. In order to blend in, Creeper switches himself back to Jack and leaves...

...Still as conspicuous as possible. Seriously Jack, try harder.

Back at the office, Jack gets some bad news:

Yup, his sweetheart is looking for him. Oh the romance.

Going through that file he was given (instead of, you know, turning it over to the cops, whose job this actually is) Jack finds dirt on most of the rackets in town, and plenty of people to ask about this Proteus fellow. Not bothering to rest again, Creeper scales a building, and gets spotted, because lemon yellow doesn’t blend with concrete, you guys.

But while Creeper is getting the cops called on his barely covered ass yet again, He ambushes a nameless fellow who does his level best not to become a stooly, but ultimately fails under the Creeper’s superior interrogation technique...

GEEZ DUDE, maybe chill with that just a little bit? 

This is like the only person in these comics that the cops actually save, because Creeper tosses him back into the building when they show up, so that he can escape for himself. Which e does by turning back into Jack just before the police spot him, and playing dumb. Again.

Take another shot.

Jack finally gets back to his boss, who is more ornery than ever. Though he is always gung-ho where the Creeper is concerned Bill seems angrily unconcerned with the cliff notes version of the file Jack has left on his desk, and wants to know where the real files are, to avoid a libel case. Falling prey to the arrogance of the braggart, he goes ahead and tells Bill; the files are at his apartment.

It takes him a moment too long to realize that his boss was acting a bit out of sorts, and makes a dash for Bills apartment, where even now, there is a situation.

New boss, same as the old boss, right? Both of them talk to damn much.

Well, Jack may have been slow of thought, but his legs are fast, so he arrives before Bill can shoot Bill.

BILL!BILL!BILL!

Nevermind. Jack get’s his butt kicked. Who’s surprised? But during the fight we find out that Bad Bill has a face like clay; malleable, and difficult to harm. Jack does manage to cause Bad Bill enough trouble to force him to flee, but Jack is unable to follow. He instead stays behind, to free Less Bad Bill, and then goes on his to his own apartment.

While he does not find Bad Bill at his apartment, he does run across Vera, who he wastes no time insulting. But despite earlier reports of her wrath, Vera just brushes him off, citing a meeting with her mother, and carting a golfing bag along with her.

And then Jack goes and makes me very uncomfortable.

You better have a good explanation for this, Jack.

Turns out he does. The man did used to be a reporter after all, and he knows a thing or two about his coworkers. Vera is an orphan, and she doesn’t enjoy any sports. 

Still uncomfortable.

This knocks the wig off Worse Vera, who is actually Bad Bill, who is actually Proteus, if this wasn’t clear yet. Also, that golfing bag is actually a flamethrower, which is a gimmick I absolutely must remember next time I play a tabletop RPG.

Jack dodges the flames, but the entire building itself fails its dexterity check, and goes right up.

Jack decides to go full Creeper to escape from the flames. Because the wool of a voluminous sheepskin rug is naturally fire resistant. And the chase is on!

Which brings us to the obligatory ass shot!

And eventually leads us to that great staple of comic books: The Rooftop Battle! It’s actually a rather fun sequence, with a bit of a tongue in cheek in-joke.

Cute.

But after a pitched Rooftop Battle, Proteus falls through the collapsing building, into the raging inferno below.

He is so dead, you guys. That is a thing that kills people. And even though Proteus was also a thing that killed people, Creeper is surprisingly sympathetic.

Cool story, hey remember that guy he murdered right in front of you? I sure do.

Also? Burning building. Better get off of there. 

Hey, can anybody tell me if this actually works? This firemen’s net thing? You see it in all kinds of older media, but was it actually a thing?

Though his apartment, and the files are now gone, Jacks life hasn’t changed much. His boss still wants the Creeper’s head on a plate, Jack still climbs out windows to escape from Vera, and the bad guy still isn’t as dead as previously assumed.

Dun Dun Dunnnn!

And so our comic ends, with the Creeper having made a grand enemy. This is the beginning of the overarching story of the mini-series continued in Beware the Creeper # 3, coming soon!

#The Creeper #Jack Ryder #beware the creeper

[renlyisright]

Season 8 Episode 2 - Fear Is for the Winter

It’s the deep breath before the plunge. The battle for the living is about to begin, but before it there’s not much to do besides playing the waiting game.

Which is a boring game, Hungry Hungry Hippos is much better. But don’t worry, I have figured out a way to defeat the White Walkers. Just bring back the right people:

When the show started, the main focus was on the Southern politics and wars and so on, but all the time there was the clock ticking behind the Wall. At some point, none of this will matter anymore, as the Dead come and gods protect us if we are not ready.

Turns out we aren’t. And the Southern politics didn’t go anywhere. The Dead will likely get defeated in the next episode, otherwise there wasn’t a point in spending an episode first in the preparing for a great battle, and - very likely - the whole next episode on the actual battle. The Dead will stop here, but at what price?

And after the survivors walk or are carried out of Winterfell’s burnt ruins and see the fallen army of the Dead, they will still have Cersei and the Iron Throne and family trees to worry about. A lovely thought. Life goes on.

But in the beginning of the episode that is as far away as the end of the world. Jaime gets an audience with the Queen, and it goes well, considering the circumstances. Or the circumstances make it go better than it otherwise would. Bran gives out that he remembers what Jaime did to him, but doesn’t tell the others. That one would have tipped the scales, all the rest he could label as acts of war during wartime. And his good deeds have consequences too, which is nice. It’s almost like those video games where you can pick choices and at the end the game remembers them.

Redemption is an interesting thing. Usually in fantasy stories when the bad guy decides to become good they die immediately, so there’s no moral dilemma of whether they should still be punished or not. 

An example from old Star Wars novels is Kyp Durron, who was one of Luke’s pupils in the new Jedi Academy. He was influenced by an old evil Sith spirit (those are just lying around everywhere) and killed millions of people. In the end he became good again and received pretty much no penalty. That was a big cause of debate to fans back then, I’m too young to remember.

But by being a great Jedi, he must have saved millions and millions of more people later during his career, so isn’t that a much better outcome than if he was incarcerated for the rest of his life? What use would that have been? I don’t know, I don’t think that a case like that can be mapped out to the real world that well.

Bran follows this line of thought. Whatever happened, here they are now, and now Bran is the Three-Eyed Raven so who cares of what Bran thought back then.

He says he is no longer Bran, but something else entirely. I don’t think there was any mind swap, he is still the same person with mostly the same brain. But as he now sees everything in the past and the present he must feel like he is outside a normal person’s life. He can take an universal view of the world which doesn’t care about specific people, and so he must take that view for the sake of the world. At least that’s how he thinks.

Gendry doesn’t take Arya’s weapon order seriously until she shows that she knows what she is doing. Arya seems to have made the plans herself, and doesn’t seem to have discussed it with anyone. Considering that the Dead have a self-destruct button in the form of the Night King, and the defenders have a trained Faceless assassin among them, putting one and one together should work.

Or not, since he’s on a dragon currently. That, and the Dead not needing sleep,and not leaving any good faces, puts a wrench on any plan to just go to the army and assassinate the big boss. She can’t exactly hide among them.

Winterfell is becoming spiky as a metal concert. The problem with fighting the Dead is that there’s no manual. The Night Watch managed to escape the Fist of the First Men, but that one and the Hardhome were so chaotic that few lessons of the enemy could be learnt there. As I see it, the dead have the advantage that their “morale” is perfect and they will fight until completely destroyed. They also won’t be scared of any injury when doing stunts. But they don’t do any actual maneuvers, no shield walls, nothing like that. And when not directly ordered by a Walker to go to specific places, they have even less tactical thinking. So there should be ways to distract them or otherwise make them spend their forces to stupid things.

The problem is that the Walkers direct them to do just that anyway (walk over the cliff, the first thousand will soften the rest’s fall), because they feel like they have the numbers. And they are right in that.

Daenerys is angry at Tyrion for not figuring out that Cersei lied. Jorah goes to talk to her about it and asks her to forgive him. She does, but has there yet been a time when someone does something she thinks is bad and she just… doesn’t threaten them, or outright kill them, or send them away, or get talked out of it by someone else? I don’t remember. If the only thing stopping her from burning everyone is that people talk her out of it every other time… In a vote I’d be on Jon’s side.

I also like her gray-and-red dress, more than the ones she wore on previous seasons. And it's some color amidst all the black in Winterfell. Speaking of clothes, Lord Royce still wears his metal breastplate everywhere. Sounds cold up here.

And hey, is Robin Arryn here anymore? He has disappeared. Of course it would be silly to have a kid up here when he could be in the Eyrie, safer and actually ruling his lands. Maybe he turns up just in time to die.

Daenerys goes to speak with Sansa, trying to bond with her over being girl bosses. Sansa has seen enough queens to do just what Daenerys tries to do to be impressed, and asks what her plans are for the North. Do they get independence or not?

Why not? Sure, it’s half the continent, but currently you own a small island, Daenerys. A good ally is a much better deal than a resentful vassal. But she is Daenerys Stormborn yada yada, and the North is her by right. Shame she never met Stannis.

Theon is back, and Sansa is glad to take him and his small force to defend the castle. They aren’t the only ones arriving, refugees arrive all the time and are divided into those who can fight and those who can’t. Since the Dead arrive in the 24 hours, many and more must still be on their way, coming through the woods when the battle starts. Well, unless the Dead understand that they should simply siege and wait for the diseases and the lack of food to do their work for them, the battle will be short, however it’s going to end.

Davos and Gilly direct people to their destinations. There’s one young girl who has… has… oh. A scarred cheek, reminding both me and Davos of Princess Shireen. Ow. She goes to protect the crypt, and I hope it doesn’t get attacked (because she would wreck everybody who tries, obviously).

Considering that it has now been two episodes in the last season, and no one named has died yet, but almost everyone has gathered here ready for the big battle, the next episode - and ones coming afterwards - will be brutal. I’m not going to make any specific predictions, many side characters will die, some more main characters as well, you know, this is a big one. And since the show will end soon we wouldn’t see much of these people anymore anyway.

The survivors of the Wall arrive, and give the Deadline: the enemy will be here before dawn tomorrow. And I don’t see the battle lasting to sunrise. It’s an army of the Dead and the Night King, and it’s the climax, of course they’ll attack during the night. If they get defeated, that’s when the Sun will rise.

Final plans are made. They are going to meet the enemy on the field. Makes sense when you have Dothraki, But the Night King is the lynchpin. Bran declares that he will come to the field, as he wants to personally kill the Three-Eyed Raven.

This is a very tabletop RPG way of setting up a battle. The players can’t fight thousands of enemies with the usual combat rules. Even if the long battle won’t kill them it gets super monotone fast, so it’s better to set up something they can do and have that determine the battle’s result.

Tyrion is very interested in Bran’s story. Foreshadowing, or simply a character who very much wants to know stuff getting to meet someone who can rewind everywhere?

The goal of the White Walkers is given by Bran as “destroy humans”. That was clear before, but apparently there’s no other motive. They just kill. It’s just death. If they have a plan for after, humans don’t need to know. Maybe the Children made a mistake in the instructions and so they were added to the “kill all humans” command, or the Night King figured out that killing them eases the killing of humans, especially as they protected the Three-Eyed Raven. Anyway, programming is hard, I’d expect that programming living creatures is even harder.

Bran escaped from the cave to the Castle Black very easily if the Night King knew where he was all the time.

Missandei and Grey Worm discuss what their plans are when the wars are won and they can retire. One word: retirony. Take her picture and show it to the other Unsullied while you are at it, Grey Worm. I haven’t had an opinion, good or bad, about these two, they just are around. Of course I wish them good health and a happy relationship, but it feels like Sam and Gilly are using all the luck.

Oh, Ghost is here! But if someone is likely to join the long line of people and dying to protect Jon, it’s Ghost.

Sam worries about Jon not telling Daenerys. Dude, there’s something else on their plate right now, they can worry about that later if there’s going to be a later.

Comparing Sam the Kingmaker with Sam the self-proclaimed coward from the first episodes, there’s a very large difference. But since you can’t be brave without fear, Sam has become the bravest of all. I’m very proud of him.

Then there’s Edd, who is certain they are all going to die. Again. Well, that is one of the safest predictions there is, as long as you don’t specify a date. “And now there’s just us”. The Night’s Watch has dropped like flies already. And now the real winter is here.

But so is The Night Watch. It’s everyone here now. Everyone in Winterfell is now part of the shield that guards the realms of men. It’s not much fun, but some do this every day.

Since nobody is going to have any sleep, a group of people settles to sit beside the fire. There’s a wildling raider, a Southern smuggler, a Lannister squire, the Kingslayer, the Imp and a maiden from Tarth who likes to play with swords. All here and now, in the dark of a cloudy winter night, waiting. It’s a somber event, no matter how much Tormund tries to lift people’s spirits with his tales.

It’s equally somber outside, where the Hound and Beric divide a drink in the night that’s getting colder. Maybe I’m making a mistake watching this now in the height of summer instead of the winter, when the nights are 20 hours long here. I’d be in the proper mood then.

Arya decides to stop thinking of her “people I want to kill”-list (which has grown smaller since many of those fight on her side now) and instead starts “people I want to smash” -list, which currently has just Gendry in it. And she wastes no time with that list.

The discussion in the hearth room moves to Brienne, whom people are surprised to hear is not a ser. Jaime offers to knight her, as “Any knight can knight another.” I think you just made that up. I don’t think ser in the feudal hierarchy is just a title, being a knight is more than just letters before your name. But everyone allows that one, they are going to die anyway. And if they live, Daenerys will approve.

Jaime has his Valyrian sword, half of Ice, the half given to Joffrey and used mainly to cut books and cakes. Brienne has the other half, so Ice has returned to Winterfell just in time to be put in good use. Sam has brought the Tarly heirloom sword, Jon has Bearclaw, Arya Littlefinger’s dagger… that’s all of the mentioned ones, right? All in Winterfell. Nice.

Sam gives his father’s sword, Heartsbane, to Jorah, to honor his father. Legacy, again. Jorah declares that he is going to use it in Old Bear’s memory. He was the first leader who took the Dead seriously, and without whom Jon or Sam wouldn’t have done all they did to prepare.

A new song, Jenny of the Oldstones, with Pod as the singer. It’s not a merry song, it’s about dancing with ghosts. Well ghosts would perhaps be an improvement to those they’ll soon dance with.

Jon spends the last moments before the battle in the crypt, before it gets crowded with people. Now he gets to be dark and alone. Except not, Daenerys arrives, and manages to ask just one question before Jon already spills the beans. He just manages to reveal everything and hammer home that by the law he’s the rightful heir, but before they can discuss it any further the three blasts are blown. So the poorest possible timing.

And so the snarks and grumkins arrive to Winterfell. Is this the sort of story that you’d like?

#game of thrones #renly is right #white walkers

[comic-movieheroesranked]

Cinematic Comic Characters Ranked! (Year 2010) Part II

We’ve reached a decade of lists! To be honest the year 2010 was one of the weakest years when it came to decent comic movies but there were still some good ones! We get two sequels with Iron Man 2 and Predators and the debut of Kick-Ass, The Losers, Jonah Hex, Scott Pilgrim vs The World, and one of the worst movies in cinema, The Last Airbender. Without any more delay here’s #50-26!

*SPOILER ALERT FOR ALL HIGHLIGHTED MOVIES ABOVE*

50. Firelord Ozai (The Last Airbender)

"My son has failed me."

Firelord Ozai was shown a lot more in the film than he was in the show during Book One. To me, this was a mistake. In the show, Firelord Ozai had this Big Brother creepy aura that kept fear in everyone who talked about him and made the viewers know that he was the most dangerous person in their world. In the movie we see him calmly strolling next to some flowers and while he does look powerful, he kinda looks beatable and not much of a threat.

49. Noland (Predators)

"I'm the one that got away. The one you don't fuck with."

At first I thought Noland was someone that group needed. He's survived the planet for several seasons and has even managed to kill a couple of Predators himself. Only problem? He's crazy. He tries to take out the group which forces Royce to signal one of the Predators to find them. Noland tries to take off but is quickly blown to pieces by the Predators he's been avoiding for years.

48. Sokka (The Last Airbender)

"I always end up getting wet."

I hated Sokka. He wasn't funny at all and in the show, some of the best comedy comes from Sokka. It seriously bothered me every time he showed up on the screen because I knew it would be nothing like the Sokka from the film, in the worst way possible. We also didn't get to see him begin his journey of becoming the great leader he becomes by the time Book Three rolls around and his relationship with Princess Yue fell completely flat.

47. Natalie 'Envy' Adams (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"You just headbutted my boyfriend so hard he burst."

Envy was Scott's big ex that dumped him when her band got signed and moved away. Now a big star, she returns so her current boyfriend can destroy Scott once and for all. She mainly just eggs Todd on but once he's destroyed she moves on with her band. I will say that I really liked the song her band performed at their concert. It was catchy.

46. Happy Hogan (Iron Man 2)

"I got him!"

Happy is back with a little more screen time in the second film. Still serving Tony Stark, Happy shows he's just as loyal as Pepper is when it comes to helping Tony when he's in need of it. However, it seems he prefers Pepper more as he decides to work for her once she briefly cuts ties with Tony. We also see him bravely take down one of the bad guys...while Black Widow takes care of the other twelve men.

45. Nick Fury (Iron Man 2)

"Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe."

When Tony Stark hits rock bottom, Nick Fury shows up to smack some sense into him. He reveals Black Widow is an agent of his, Tony's father is a co-founder for S.H.E.I.L.D., and lets Tony know what elemental metal he can use as source of energy that won't kill him. He does all this in a matter of one scene then takes off to probably go recruit more Avengers.

44. Max (The Losers)

"I've done a lot in four months, Wade. I'm a very busy man."

The big baddie of the film, but he barely made an impression of me. At first I thought he was going to be this evil, calculating guy that killed 25 kids and felt nothing but he turned out to be just really rich and could pay people to do what he wanted. He, himself, wasn't that imposing so it was a surprise to no one that once his goons and his money were gone he was reduced to someone that gets mugged on the bus.

43. Justin Hammer (Iron Man 2)

"I'd love to leave my door unlocked at night, but this ain't Canada."

This dude reminded me of a horrible used car salesman that just wouldn't shut up. Seriously this guy is the very definition of a cockroach. He first tries to take down Tony with the government but when that fails he tries to be buddy-buddy with him so he can get a slot in Tony's expo. When Stark doesn't fall for it, he then starts funding the guy who tried to kill Stark to basically copy him so Hammer could get all the glory. I'm glad no one took him seriously but something tells me he really means to get back at Pepper for having him arrested.

42. Katara (The Last Airbender)

"I'm the only water bender left in the Southern Water Tribe."

Besides her whiteness, Katara didn't bother me THAT MUCH. She seemed to have this worried look on her face the whole time and her narration just didn't have the same impact as the on in the show. With all the cuts to make the movie shorter, it seemed Katara got the short end of the stick most of the time. Aang takes her spot when it comes to inspiring the earthbenders that are imprisoned and her mastery of waterbending is completely taken out as well. Even her epic fight against Zuko is shortened in favor of a fight between Aang and him.

41. Kim Pine, Stephen Stills, Neil Nordegraf (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"We are here to sell out and make money and stuff."

The members of the Sex Bob-Ombs! We got Stephen, the vocals and someone who just wants the band to reach the next level in their career so bad that it's made him paranoid; Kim, who used to date Scott in high school and now seems to hate him and insult him every chance she gets when she's not hating every other female drummer she sees; and Young Neil, who's basically the Great Value version of Scott and is only in the band when Scott can't play. They travel with Scott as he deals with all of Ramona's exes with the hope of getting signed but when that opportunity comes with Gideon, Ramona's top ex, they decide friendship is better and help cheer on Scott to victory!

40. Katie Deauxma (Kick-Ass)

"I'd fuck his brains out if I got the chance."

Katie first had Dave on her radar when she thought he was gay and being outcast by the entire school. Wanting to be there for him, she offered her friendship and the two became super close through the movie. When Dave reveals he's Kick-Ass and that he isn't actually gay, they start a relationship. It's Katie's disapproval in the vigilante life that gets Dave to quit being Kick-Ass for a brief moment and they continue to date after Kick-Ass and Hit-Girl beat Frank and Red Mist.

39. Gideon Gordon Graves (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"Game. Over."

Gideon is Ramona's most recent ex, who started the League of Exes when she dumped him. He has all the money in the world and uses it against Scott every way he can. He was honestly my least favorite ex. He wasn't as fun as the others and only dated Ramona because he had a mind control device on her. He's destroyed with the combined effort of Scott and Knives, allowing Ramona to date whoever she wants.

38. Tracker Predator and Falconer Predator (Predators)

*clicking sounds*

These two Predators were part of the trio hunting our group of humans. As a group they were able to take down a couple of them and on their own they were pretty impressive as well. Tracker Predator managed to kill Noland, who's been avoiding the Predators for years and mortally wounds Nikolai before the other blows the both up. Falconer Predator tried to do things the honorable way and take on Hanzo one on one in a sword fight. He dealt a finishing blow, but Hanzo also managed to bring him down as well.

37. Burke (Jonah Hex)

"I'm gonna hand Turnbull your balls in a snuffbox!"

For every villain wanting to destroy a country there's always a psycho sidekick who just wants to go along for the ride because it's fun. Turnbull's psychotic sidekick was Burke, who didn't understand what was going on half of the time but still killed anyone that got in the way of Turnbull's plans and enjoyed every single second of it. He almost kills Jonah himself the first time they face off, but on the rematch Jonah manages to not only kill Burke, but also brings him back to life just to incinerate his body completely.

36. Prince Zuko (The Last Airbender)

"I will restore my honor!"

I felt like Zuko in film did really well portraying the anguish the Zuko in the show had, but I could not help but giggle every time he tried to be threatening or intimidating. I couldn't buy it. Also is that what you call a scar? Because to me all that looks like is a small scratch. His rivalry with Zhao was cut back which is a bit of a shame because that really is one of the few times during Book One that you feel some type of sympathy for him and want to root him on.

35. Lucas Lee (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"The only thing separating me from her is the two minutes it's going to take to kick your ass!"

The cool action star and Ramona's 2nd ex! He wasn't so cool when they dated so she left him for Todd and he went on to be the biggest skate boarding/movie star the world has ever seen! When he faces against Scott he has his stunt team take him on before he kicks his ass all throughout the movie set. What kills him in the end? Scott convincing him to skate down a rail, which he does awesomely until he blows up all of a sudden.

34. Hanzo (Predators)

"Because I talk too much."

Hanzo never spoke a word to the group until he discovers an old samurai sword in Noland's hideout and even then it's only a couple of words. Although he works for Yakuza, he still has a sense of respect and decides to go against Falconer Predator one on one in a sword fight. Even though he's thrown around by the larger beast, Hanzo deals a killing blow that brings the Predator down. Soon after, however, Hanzo dies from his own wounds.

33. Frank D'Amico (Kick-Ass)

"Playtime's over kid."

The most powerful mob boss in the city, Frank takes down everyone and anyone who gets in his way. With the snap of his fingers he can get whatever he wants, so you can only imagine how his ego was handling Kick-Ass ruining his business. Even though he doesn't take his son seriously, he allows Chris to become Red Mist to lure Kick-Ass into a trap, which gets ruined by Big Daddy. Frank gets his revenge by having his goons light Big Daddy on fire, but ends up having to deal with Hit-Girl. To his credit, Frank isn't hard to take down. In fact, he very nearly kills Hit-Girl before Kick-Ass comes and shoots a bazooka missile at him.

32. Edwin (Predators)

"I'm a murderer. I'm a freak."

Everyone thought that Edwin was this innocent doctor who was mistakenly thrown into the hunting preserve with the rest of these killers. He plays the act the entire movie, earning everyone's trust and basically becoming the little brother they all look out for and protect until the very end when it's just him and Isabelle. He shows his true colors by slicing her with a paralyzing blade and almost kills her before Royce shows up. Luckily Royce isn't fooled by the kid's act and he leaves him with a bunch of grenades to greet the last remaining Predator.

31. Todd Ingram (Scott Pilgrim vs The World)

"Chicken isn't vegan?"

This idiot seemed to be the strongest out of all the exes and Ramona's longest relationship. With his vegan lifestyle comes really cool psychic abilities that allows him to wipe the floor with Scott in front of everyone, including Scott's ex, Envy, who happens to be dating Todd now. The idiot apparently doesn't know that a lot of stuff isn't vegan, specifically chicken, so the Vegan Police show up to take his powers away, which allows Scott to take him down.

30. James "Rhodey" Rhodes/War Machine (Iron Man 2)

"Yeah, it's called being a badass."

Rhodey is back and even though he might have a small ounce of respect for Stark, he still doesn't like him. His dislike is what pushes him over the edge to take on Tony's War Machine before engaging in a fight that takes down Tony's entire mansion. I think he has a good moral compass but his dislike for Tony causes him to not recognize when Tony is right about something, which is how Whiplash is able to take over War Machine in the film's climax. In the end Rhodey has finally established himself as a hero and watching him fight along Iron Man as War Machine was very cool to see.

29. Uncle Iroh (The Last Airbender)

"We will find you a nice girl."

Uncle Iroh in the film is a perfect example of going in a completely different way with a character, and it still being good. Sure I would have loved to see him express a love for tea or play some Pai Sho but I didn't need it. Iroh was still laidback, cared deeply for Zuko, and had a respect for the spirits and other nations. They even touched on his son's death in Ba Sing Se. In the film there's this weird thing about firebenders not being able to create fire but only able to control it (extremely stupid, but whatever) and Iroh is one of the few people who can actually create it. He uses his techniques to aid Zuko in escaping from Zhao and continue to go after the Avatar another day.

28. Quentin Turnbull (Jonah Hex)

"The United States will know Hell."

Our main villain who kills Jonah Hex's family after Jonah betrays him and kills his son, Jeb. I personally don't think it's Jeb's death that makes Turnbull go evil, I think he was already like that when he served as the Confederate Army's Commander. It just took Jonah a while to figure that out and when he did it was too late to save his family. Turnbull fakes his death to throw off Jonah so he can create the ultimate weapon to destroy the United States. He's nearly successful but Jonah manages to show up at the last minute to kill him for good.

27. Classic Predator (Predators)

*original clicking sounds*

The group finds Classic Predator strung up on the other Predator's ship and later learn from Noland that he belongs to an inferior clan. Royce decides to free him in hopes that the Predator will take him back to Earth. The Classic Predator is good on his word, but when it comes to facing the stronger Berserker Predator, he falls short and gets decapitated.

26. William Roque (The Losers)

"Well, you better be, because I ain't getting killed by no girl."

Roque was my least favorite Loser for obvious reasons but I really liked him in the beginning. I thought he was going to be this crazy, unpredictable guy who would find any excuse to pull out his knives and that's not what was delivered. Instead Roque complained about everything the group did to get their life back even when the group's plans were actually pretty solid. Then he decides to betray the friend's he's known for YEARS for a chance to live in America again, which is something I would expect from Pooch so he could be with his family, not from a guy who had no one waiting for him back in the states. So yeah, I wasn't mad when Roque ended up getting blown to piece by Cougar.

#iron man 2 #jonah hex #kickass #the last airbender #the losers #predators #scott pilgrim vs the world #William Roque #Classic Predator #Quentin Turnbull #uncle iroh #james rhodes #war machine #todd ingram #Edwin #Frank D'amico #Hanzo #lucas lee #prince zuko #Tracker Predator #Falconer Predator #Gideon Gordon Graves #kim pine #stephen stills #Neil Nordegraf #katara #justin hammer #Max #nick fury #happy hogan

[spartan-in-a-b-25]

tagged by @roecompany

rules:  answer these 85 statements and tag 20 people

tagging: Since I’m pretty new to the fandom I’m tagging whoever I know or reblog from the most, please don’t feel obligated to do it! @shiftyspirits , @historian-bibliophile , @alexpenkala , @charles-grant , @thebrotherhoodelites , @hbo-war-related , @muminbarn , @doc-sledge , @babeheffron , @realhunterswearplaid

THE LAST

1. drink: Off-brand Vitamin water


2. phone call: My dad

3. text message: texting my barn manager about riding her new ~fancy~ pony this afternoon


4. song you listened to:  High - Sir Sly

5. time you cried: Uhhhh last week when I met with my counselor


6. dated someone twice: NO GOING BACK TO EXES


7. kissed someone and regretted it: kissed a guy at party in college to get him to leave me alone…


8. been cheated on: no


9. lost someone special: lost basically my second family with my last breakup…

10. been depressed: like every 2 days lol what kind of question


11. gotten drunk and thrown up: Not since college

3 FAVOURITE COLOURS

12. Purple


13. Dark green


14. silver

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU

15. made new friends: Through work and the new barn family, yes!

16. fallen out of love: HA twice, boys are the worst


17. laughed until you cried: Joking with my co-workers who are all like 35 years old than me and have NO FILTERS


18. found out someone was talking about you: Performance reviews are the BEST cause you find out who’s bitching to the boss about you! Read: my lead doesn’t like me cause I’m better at the job than she is so she finds minor shit to bitch to my boss about - she’s basically Sobel y’all

19. met someone who changed you: umm anyone I’ve interacted with on here, new barn new friends, the good co-workers!


20. found out who your friends are: or aren’t

21. kissed someone on your facebook list: yep

GENERAL

22. how many of your facebook friends do you know in real life: all of them 


23. do you have any pets: 4 cats, 2 dogs and looking for a new horse!

24. do you want to change your name: meh it’s not a very common one so I don’t mind it

25. what did you do for your last birthday: worked, but my ex’s mom bought me a cupcake and sang me happy birthday when I finished my shift!

26. what time did you wake up: 0800 since I work late shift I get to sleep in!

27. what were you doing at midnight last night: scrolling on tumblr and trying to get my kitten to stop biting my toes through the comforter


28. name something you can’t wait for: to MOVE OUT

29. when was the last time you saw your mom: this morning


31. what are you listening to right now: Parks and Rec in the background

32. have you ever talked to a person named tom: Uhhhh probably???? But who knows!?


33. something that is getting on your nerves: dumb boys, friends ditching me for their SO’s, me getting in my own damn way

34. most visited website: Tumblr 100%

35. hair colour: mid-range blonde

36. long or short hair: I ❤️ my long hair

37. do you have a crush on someone: nope, I’m done with relationships for a while

38. what do you like about yourself: occasionally I’m smart, my “salty bitch” exterior

39. want any piercings: got my ears and that’s enough

40. blood type: O Pos! I had to practice typing my own blood in Grad School

41. nickname: Nat

42. relationship status: single


43. zodiac: Virgo 


44. pronouns: she/her


45. favourite tv show: Band of Brothers, The Pacific, Parks and Rec, super into MASH right now…

46. tattoos: I got a horse head on my calf when I was 20, a few vague ideas for more

47. right or left handed: right handed


48. surgery: periodontal surgery a few times which was… not fun

49. piercing: my ears

50. sport: Horseback Riding… that’s pretty much it lol

51. vacation: Went on a cruise in the Caribbean this summer, first vacation I’ve taken in… well, years


52. pair of trainers: Uh I think this is about shoes??? You’ll pry my Converse from my cold, dead hands

MORE GENERAL

53. eating: Granola is my fave snack right now

54. drinking: water


55. i’m about to: Go ride a pony then work late shift till 0300 😑

56. waiting for: my motivation to return from war

57. want: to actually get my goddamn life together

58. get married: HA I let that ship sink a while ago

59. career: I work in a lab at a hospital and its actually kinda ok????

WHICH IS BETTER

60. hugs or kisses: HUGS, I’m always a slut for physical affection!!

61. lips or eyes: eyes


62. shorter or taller: taller

63. older or younger: Older dear lord

64. nice arms or nice stomach: Why not both??

65. hook up or relationship: Ugh

66. troublemaker or hesitant: Neither of those is a good option!

HAVE YOU EVER

67. kissed a stranger:  yes


68. drank hard liquor: That’s basically all I can drink since I’m allergic to hops…


69. lost glasses/contact lenses: Finally got Lasik so no more of this bullshit

70. turned someone down: definitely

71. sex on the first date: 0/10 would not recommend

72. broken someone’s heart: tbh they’ve never forgiven me, meh

73. had your heart broken: Ugh

74. been arrested: No


75. cried when someone died: Both in the real world and fictional ones

76. fallen for a friend: Once, and never again

DO YOU BELIEVE IN



77. yourself: HA


78. miracles: Not really


79. love at first sight: No


80. santa claus: Dude I’m 27…


81. kiss on the first date: If it fits the situation

82. angels: Gene Roe

OTHER

83. current best friend’s name: Katie

84. eye colour: Blue

85. favorite movie: Lord of the Rings (I know, but it was the ORIGINAL fandom for my y’all), Jurassic Park, any of the modern war movies (Saving Private Ryan, Inglourious Basterds, Fury, Dunkirk)

#seriously if you don't want to you don't have to! #tagging game

[iamcarriesoom]

Fast & Fourious

Let’s address the elephant in the room. It is absolute insanity that “The Fast and the Furious” and “Fast and Furious” are two separate movies. They couldn’t at least call this one “Fast and 4ious”?

The movie opens with a pretty sick gas truck hijacking scene, and a look at Michelle Rodriguez’s much improved styling (why, in the first movie, did she constantly wear sunglasses but look at people over the top of them? Why even bother wearing sunglasses?)

After narrowly escaping death (which seemed avoidable- why did that truck driver seem so alarmed by the road’s sudden curve? Was he not PLANNING to turn there?) there’s some talk about family. I assume.

Han, who helped rob the  truck, says he’s gonna head to Tokyo and peaces out for the rest of the movie. Dom and Letty play grab-ass. I think I was still typing “I like a bad boy protagonist who’s in a committed relationship across several movies” when we find out that Letty was murdered.

Admittedly it puts me at a disadvantage to be watching these movies several years too late, since I know Michelle Rodriguez is in more movies and I assume they can’t all be flashbacks. I kept waiting to find out that her death was faked, but it never happened. I wrote “I still don’t believe Letty is dead” in my notes at three different points during this movie.

In other “yep that’s definitely how that works” events, Paul Walker is all grown up and…a cop again. (I know he was grown up in the first one, but he finally cut off that early 2000s surfer kid hair.)

He’s playing by the rules just like anyone given their third unlikely chance at a career in law enforcement would do: chasing a gun-toting criminal through a market and across rooftops before eventually tackling him off a building. They definitely should’ve both died.

More excellent policework: Paul Walker smashes some other cop’s face into the wall in front of everyone. His boss says “Do you know the difference between a cop and a criminal? One bad judgement call.” My dude, Paul Walker has made like 97 bad judgement calls, I don’t know why you keep letting him be a cop.

Somehow the guy that Paul Walker is looking for is also the guy Vin Diesel is looking for (to avenge Letty’s death) so they manage to connect again. These movies have such loosely cobbled together plots that it’s hard to tell what doesn’t make sense because the details will come together later, and what is just poorly explained.

Finally we’ve got a race! Vin Diesel takes off with his car doing a wheelie, which I didn’t know was a possible thing. Do cars actually do that? Also, they’re supposed to be following a particular route, but Paul Walker somehow gets off course and has to drive down a flight of stairs to get back in the lead. Does winning even count if you don’t follow the prescribed route? It’s also probably safe to assume that most of the other drivers are dead based on the horrific crashes they got into.

Paul Walker is apparently undercover, which is weird because he’s literally been chasing criminals from this same group of people and I would imagine they’d recognize his beautiful face. Also, Wonder Woman flirts with Dom and he’s like “no thanks I’m all set with my dead girlfriend.”

They get jobs as drug runners, Brian because he’s actually doing his undercover police job for once in his goddamn life, and Dom because he’s trying to avenge Letty, who is still definitely not dead. Somehow no one thinks about the fact that terrifying drug lords might check to make sure that their drivers aren’t being tracked- so when Brian kills his tracker, his police bosses are like “oh no, we better send in a helicopter and maybe ruin everything!” Guys, if you can’t trust your man to do what he needs to do, maybe stop letting him go undercover with such dubious criminals?

I don’t remember at what point this happens, but Mia was really mad at Brian, then for some reason she was crying in a kitchen, and then she and Brian start making out and basically bone in the kitchen sink. I guess that’s all it takes and they’re back together now.

After they drive through a nightmare tunnel of death, shit really hits the fan as Dom explodes everyone’s cars, Brian whips out a machine gun (from where??) and shoots probably way more people than he should. It turns out that Fenix (whose name I assumed was Felix the whole time), another drug driver, was the person who killed Letty. Also Wikipedia says “Brian has prior knowledge that after the heroin was delivered Braga ordered the drivers to be killed” but I literally do not remember that at all. Was it a quiet conversation? It’s basically impossible to hear any dialogue that isn’t shouted in these movies.

Brian and Dom take off with all the heroin, hide it in plain sight at the police impound (which is actually kind of a clever idea, maybe?) and then Dom beats the shit out of Brian when he learned that Letty was working undercover for Brian, trying to clear Dom’s name so he could come home. It’s like a deadly “Gift of the Magi” situation. Because this is a PG 13 movie, Brian can get choked out and beaten half to death and not have a mark on him.

Dom (a man who says grace before eating) threatens Braga (the drug lord) with a shotgun while he’s praying in church. Seems legit. There’s one more chase scene through the death tunnel (which, it’s bananas that Brian even knows where it is, considering he only drove through it once, at night, while following other people). Brian has the kidnapped Braga in his car, yet all the henchmen are shooting at them willy nilly. Good job almost shooting your boss? Eventually Dom runs over Fenix, almost all the henchmen die in the tunnel, and the cops finally show up.

[I tried to insert a gif here but it wouldn’t animate so fuck it, just watch it here]

Dom allows himself to be arrested, and my main question is did they make him a specially fitted prison jumpsuit? Or can Vin Diesel really just make a standard issue orange jumpsuit look that good? I don’t even think Vin Diesel is hot! What’s going on!? He gets sentenced to 25 to life, which is obviously not actually happening.

(in trying to find this screen grab, I also found a bunch of The Rock rocking a prison jumpsuit, which I assume is a spoiler.)

The movie ends with Brian, Mia and some other pals driving in to hijack the prison bus to set Dom free. Brian DEFINITELY can’t be a cop in the next one, right???

Okay these are getting good now. I’m getting pumped up for Fast Five!

Previously:

Vol 3: What's even the point of driftng?

Vol 2: 2 Furious 2 Quit

Vol 1: The Fast & the Curious

#the fast and the furious #fast & furious

[titheguerrero]

Dander Still Up, And Also Down, All OVer the Place. What Gives?

A. I've started this piece a whole bunch of times. So in fairness to you, reader, you have a few paths through it. If you don't feel like starting by sharing some navel-staring about today's bizarre predicament, please skip to 'D.' Or 'B,' or 'C.' Wouldn't blame you in the least. I've still got my dander up about what's happening in the many troubled reaches of health care in the United States. OK, truth to tell, also about what's up world-wide. Scary stuff. Readers have no doubt waited patiently for me to recover from confusion about this sudden mess, much of said predicament stemming from various delayed reactions to the 2008 disasters. (For the wildly popular, broader and verbally less restrained version of this consternation, from a compelling voice, see this newsletter.) Or, at least, I've waited to get over this confusion. Now I'm over it: see 'C,' below. Overall, anyone paying attention to the press—or even for that one lone DC Legislative Assistant just reading this blog for all her health policy info—you know things just ain't right. Not in academia, not in government, not in the private sector despite a record-shattering bull market run. (Leave aside for just a moment all those other issues in US foreign and economic policy, equally in the soup.) We thought matters couldn't get worse before the arrival of the latest residents of board rooms and corner (or oval) offices in each of those sectors. But, oh, wait: then, after January 2017, they did. But what gives beneath the surface? The news waves have become a deluge. But, to get to the "so what?", where are the rip-currents beneath today's tsunami of chaotic news? Why are things seemingly better in some areas than others? (For some specific examples see my Grade Point Average—GPA—scores below, introduced in this edition of the CDR (Cetona Dander Report),  I've been off the air while scrambling for some way of understanding the why behind the what. Now I think I've gotten what're at least some part-answers to my writer's block. And mirabile dictu, my dander's gone back down a little, especially over there in the Department of Health and Human Services. For one thing, as Margot Sanger-Katz recently pointed out in the Times, and we're seeing this in many places, the troubled crazy-quilt of American health care, especially among the federal branches, and the antics of the DIC (disloyalist-in-chief, or my preference, doofus-in-chief), all have paradoxically made the organization of health care somewhat less anechoic. ("You see how I did that double negative in there?") This anechoic effect I began talking about over a decade ago, during the perhaps slightly calmer Shrub and Obama years—corrupt and autocratic behavior operating under everyone's radar, and I don't miss those days—this effect has repeatedly been decried by those blogging here, especially your intrepid editor. But today, like immigration, health care is back in the political ads and it's no longer quite so anechoic, now the DIC has lanced the boil with his shrill. Hell, DIC's our poster child for health care reverb. He even claims as he campaigned on the notion of lower drug prices and better care. Just not for those people. No matter. You can't unring this bell. Everyone left with anything resembling an open mind—come November we'll get more on the 'N' of said group—they all know what far too many in his party are trying to do. Those with brains already fully devoured (burp) by QAnon are, of course, excepted. Biggest place the GOP and DIC overlap in goals: dance with all the lobbyists and Fat Cats who want to kill the baby in the bathtub. Kill the VA. Kill the ACA. Kill kill kill. If this all starts to sound a little schizzy, that's precisely the point. This is a big clue to what's become the inner dynamic of federal health policy (and economic and foreign policy) in the second half of 2018. There's campaigning to the base, and there's governing. I mean, I know, I must be the last person in Montana to recognize this dynamic, especially after everybody saw the latest blind-siding on the Russian affair. No offense to Montana. I'm not from there. I know great folks there. The executive branch of our government has cleaved in two. The White House today—quite unlike any of its predecessor administrations arguably including that of Bush II—is a perpetual political campaign. I know, others have compared it more to television reality show or one variant of the same thing: WWE. Anyway, it's a perpetual political campaign, and solely that. Its purpose is not to govern but to retain power in order to reward friends. This goes for everything it touches in health care. Campaigns depend interminably on donors and, fitfully, even voters. The problem is, there are cabinet departments, for our purposes notably the VA and HHS, where something else, something else besides perpetually rabble- and fund-raising, has to happen. Something we used to call "government." More and more a rare bird. In the White House, the bird is as extinct as the dodo. (Charlottesville was clear-cut proof of this point, when the DIC ducked his constitutional responsibility to console and unify, in order to play exclusively to his base.) "Government" clearly can't be effective by defaulting to sheer adversarialism and destruction. But interestingly, it's still there outside the White House. If not thriving, as least surviving and fitfully accomplishing some important tasks. In matters of health, like the tiny furry mammals scurrying among the dinosaurs after the asteroid, government is actually beginning to make some hopeful moves. It's time we called those out as well, and scored the agencies on how they're doing as we get close to mid-term elections. It's a balancing act between the campaigning DIC and his few fitfully effective folks. (If they tick him off and get fired, they'll be retroactively labelled "deep state.") It looks to me like health care policy management, whether around how care gets paid for, or around reuniting kids suffering from child-abuse-as-foreign-policy, has become an absurdist pas de deux between these two factions. Never have they been more distinct. In this corner, the White House, with its hacks, its DIC, its billionaire donors just a phone call away, and its campaign-job explant moles planted in key departments. And in this other corner, until maybe they get fired, cabinet appointees and sub-appointees, including some pretty good old time GOP types, who want to get the job done. The first either lets these second types do their jobs, or somebody--often one of the hacks--gets to them first. (In all of this, of course, Rule Number One is always, don't piss off the DIC. Get the job done without losing your own job.) Among the hacks closest to the ear of the DIC, and man is that an image, chief are Larry Kudlow, Mick Mulvaney, both on money matters; and John Bolton on matters involving anyone who looks, y'know, a little foreign. (Norwegians, good. The rest: maybe, y'know, drug dealers and rapists.) In 'D' below we talk about some of the other B. Here's how to get out of the distracting, enervating, confusing obsession so many of us complain about when considering health care and pretty much else coming out of today's Washington. (Not just the White House and the 15 executive departments. But especially.) Extricate yourself, that is, without sticking head in sand. Don't just take a break from all the crazy. Take a cue from the DIC Head himself. Note how fond he is calling everybody a dog. But in fact his prey, take for instance, are not dogs at all. It's the secret joy of more right wing GOP Trump-heads: we're all acting like cats. Laser cats. Just let him move that pointer around and we all go batshit batting at it. Dudes love it when we do that. We don't have to do that. Just be quiet and keep paying attention. We're on to them. Don't pounce until there's more there there than just a flickering red light. Recognize what he's doing across the board. Read Health Care Renewal. Remember, every time the red light blinks and you leap into the air, somewhere a puppy dies and a spook's security clearance goes kerplooey. C. Why mention Montana? Well, actually turns out a big source of impact on our health comes right from our natural environment and the failure of Big DIC to insure its stewardship. He appointed an Associate DIC (ADIC) to the Interior department. Ryan Zinke, best known for a career as football player (Whitefish HS, University of Oregon) and Navy Seal. (Navy.) Zinke believes the California wildfires are best explained by "environmental terrorists" rather than climate change. Not cool. The Secretary has now appointed a Whitefish team-mate essentially to vet any program that might affect our health. Steve Howke has an undergraduate business degree and a life in credit unions. So clearly he's a great pick to vet any proposed money involving more than budget-dust (i.e., > 50k) on programs. This is to make sure such expenditures "align with the administration’s priorities." Pretty much kills any chance Interior will pay attention to our health. Guy's the designated goalie to assuage the boss's desire to focus on really hopeful matters such as Clean Coal. On a slightly brighter note, when it comes to the looming underwater loss of, oh, maybe the East Coast and all of Florida, the Big DIC seems to be appointing a real expert, Kelvin Droegemeier, as his White House Science Adviser. Job's been vacant for a long time. Maybe we'll keep Florida a little longer. Guy's impressive. See for example this actual piece of science for weather prediction. Let's fly to Oklahoma and talk to this guy. Ah, the outsized influence of Whitefish, Montana. Is there a Trump Hotel in Whitefish? I know people there. I'll find out. If there's a solid gold toilet in Whitefish, we're finished. D. So finally, after such all this preamble, how's life been playing out in health care? With the exception of the comparatively tiny program to reunite refugee kids with their parents, which is hapless, until now such life's not been so very vivid for most citizens glancing at their screens. Average Joe probably can't comment on either of the biggest items. But the noisy numbers, for 2019 are as follows.

A nearly 200 billion dollar request for the VA, well over a third of which is for health care and an over 15% request over 2918.

Almost 800 billion dollars for Medicare, most of which is for Medicare reimbursements, and just a 3% increase from the previous year.

Compare this with a bit over two billion for all HHS-supervised vulnerable-populations programs, even with a whopping 29% increase over 2018.

Only a tenth or so of this two billion is devoted to refugee programs. Two hundred million divided by a trillion. Hmmm, too many zeros here, so you do the math. Rounding error. But with close to a 30% increase for forcibly orphaned kids and others, maybe the Secretary tried.

So final tally: the three above total a trillion, 80% Medicare and 20% VA.

Keep it all in perspective, bearint these things in mind.

These are budget requests. Medicare they want to gut, even beyond ACA, so in the end maybe the aforesaid 3% will drop down into negative numbers.

Even here, with the 800B request, the HHS Secretary's clearly trying to be realistic on Medicare, knowing the temper of his bosses at both ends of Pennsylvania Avenue.

Ain't it odd! VA gets a barely passing grade despite the huge increase year-over-year. But this is the reality, as we'll see below.

Back to our echo chamber and the din of the 2018 election. It's all changing now, not so anechoic any more, as Dr. Poses recently pointed out. The fact is, and you'll hear much more of this in state-by-state campaigns just now getting off the ground for the fall run-up to November 6th, it's all now as vivid as hell. We should all remember how much more vividly people feel the loss of a dollar than they feel the bestowal of a dollar. Politicians know this. The anechoic chamber fills with a joyful noise. If only because, as occurred with other earlier water-boarding-style excesses, this same political party just gave us this most recent instance of politically weaponizing cruelty. Really, not so joyful. But likely to command attention this fall. What else will command attention? Access to health care. And something for the vets who provided proud service to their nation. I wrote earlier about the VA versus political donors' influence, in that case a Koch brother and a hack somehow attached to said brother. For a while seemingly, until he alienated them too, Trump and his people acted as though "things go better with Koch." In my previous dander-post, I pointed out the "Concerned Veterans," who've always seemed most concerned with privately outsourcing veterans' services while sundering the agency that protected them. (I provided medical care to these brave warriors from both inside and outside the VA. They rarely had anything bad to say about the organization. Certainly a lot less bad than I did when dealing with that hoary bureaucracy. Certainly they don't want it to go away. David Shulkin felt the same way, and lost a battle with the DIC's hacks.) But now it's much worse. So I want to go out on this here limb and give Trump's two key departments for health care, their respective mid-term GPAs. For the VA: charitably, a D-minus. But interestingly, GPA for HHS: maybe as good as a B-, albeit constantly threatening to slide into a Gentleman's C to placate the boss DIC. Why the qualitative disparity? Well, first let's back it up a little and rack up some of the recent events upon which this GPA result is based. First let's take the VA. The place has had major problems for years and years, many of them self-inflicted with a self-referential bureaucracy second only to the Catholic Church. (David Shulkin knew he needed to fix this and was actively trying to do so when he was fired.) But the place just can't seem to catch a break. So harsh as it is for what's hopefully a work in progress that can still be salvaged either now or after 2020, the grade for this place is D- on a good day. Here are some of the hour-exams that go into the dismal assessment.

The VA's own internal watchdog just recently ripped it for failing in a recent program to help veterans' caregivers. This started before and continues during the Trump administration.

The effort to privatize VA care continues to ramify. Chasing down all the leads on this issue feels like trying to lop off the head of Medusa.

A proposed law to pay for privatization is bizarrely popular with bipartisan lip service. But it may shut down the government when you get down to finding the money.

There's a pathetic White House VA hotline about this, which reaches some hapless third party call-center folks who're powerless and clueless.

Most recently, Trump has essentially abdicated VA oversight to cronies, much like our high school footballer vetting spending at Interior. Specifically the "Shadow Rulers," a threesome of alte kakers—Palm Beach concierge doctor Bruce Moskowitz, sometime Marvel Entertainment chair Ike Perlmutter, and attorney Mark Sherman—who have in common one great thing: Mar-A-Lago! You can't make this stuff up. We owe it to politico.com (see here, here, and here) for providing superb coverage of the narrative of their undue influence. Whether official or unofficial, it's abdication of authority, with weak official leadership.

After Shulkin left, the place was forced to thrash around leaderless. It now has a guy Richard Stone, an unimpressive managerialist, but at least an Army Veteran. Not nearly enough!

Stone replaced a far better suited expert, Carolyn Clancy, who was sidelined into a looking-out-the-window job under questionable circumstances. See here.

Worth an entire blog of its own but start here: the VA's saga of health IT is a surpassingly strange, long and sordid one. The VA was among the first to have a workable EMR. It  ultimately got scrapped for lack of support and interoperability with the far more egregious and expensive failure of DOD's EMR program. (Which Shulkin sought to fix via COTS outsourcing.) Many billions down the drain on both sides. The VA system's lack of interoperability was in no way the VA's fault. They can't catch a break.

One of Trump's earliest attempts to "deal" with the VA was to put Omarosa in charge! This early episode again underlines the White House's difficulty in dealing with government organizations that give off the scent of unprivatized "deep state" players. Veterans hated her—now why would that be?

Another Cohen, not Michael, enters the picture. Also courtesy of New York's blogger-journalists at ProPublica, we learn that hedge fund billionaire (and of course DIC crony) Steve Cohen is cashing in with the VA. Altruistically, of caws. Just wants to help out all those PTSD patients. Privately, employing something modestly called "The Cohen Network." Read this whole sordid story at ProPublica. I'm seeing double Cohens in here.

Why does the VA story seem so haplessly fragmented, with lovers and haters constantly duking it out? A recent piece in Washington Monthly, by noted authors Suzanne Gordon and Jasper Craven, offers a simple and I think largely correct answer. Its supporters, especially those in Congress, know VA medicine is popular but they keep ragging on it as though it hurts its patients more than the private sector does. Not true! These guys just don't like government-run programs when the private sector friends want in. The private sector is also beset with inefficiencies, IT disconnects, and corruption. Shulkin was on the right track but got derailed. In every case, the common denominator is how VA medicine is a single frog in a single barrel. Shoot it or slowly boil it. Either way, a far easier target for meddling than HHS. This is the answer, folks. It's not that the VA needs more help than HHS, or that publicly supported health care's inherently bad. VA and HHS certainly both need a lot of help, but the VA did many fine things over recent decades. But boy is it an easy target.

Now to HHS, a very different story. A much more elusive target, for any journalist but more importantly for any DIC-hack or -backer. And now it has a Secretary about whom we may at least point to dramatic improvement over his spendthrift predecessor. The latter was a physician at that, should have had his head on straight, but who proved to be so far right, and frankly so peculiar, that at any given time he clearly could take a bite out of his own prostate. Salient points about HHS's performance under Trump:

Key people are Alex Azar, the Secretary and Seema Verma over at CMS.

They're both clearly being forced to walk a tight-rope between White House and DIC-backers' ideology, and getting a whole host of jobs done. And those jobs require a great deal of organic interaction with the private sector.

PBM companies

Big Pharma

The AMA

The payers

Patient advocates.

Last and probably least, advocates for vulnerable populations—for reasons stated above.

They both seem to be learning on the job. B.

Not all's well. Trimming back access to ACA benefits, hotly opposed by many, is still a campaign in the Congress and White House, but seemingly opposed at least in part by many within HHS. Jury's out on this one, as ACA is super-popular nation-wide. D-.

Evidence for this: tackling the ticklish issue of stabilizing the Obamacare marketplaces. Much ink-shed over this, e.g. here and here and here.  Devilishly complex but suffice it to say that some states and perhaps the Congress will go ahead (one of the above links even refers to Scott Walker and Wisconsin) and make sure reinsurance is assured. Can this be anything other than the insurance industry pushing back on the nihilists? B+.

Medicaid and its expansion are also fighting back from the preferred GOP method of compression and extinction. The abusive work requirements, playing to the DIC's base and its resentment of "free-loaders," are not likely to last. The WaPo in fact now reports the emergence of multiple objective health-services-research studies showing the salutary effects of expanded Medicaid, especially for chronic illness like diabetes. So risk payments may be restored. B+.

Drug-price negotiations are see-sawing like crazy. Trump says he believes strongly in this. Do we believe him or the PHRMA lobbyists? He touts token prize freezes. Azar seems on the fence, though he talks a good game. Congress tries to be encouraging. Jury's out. C-.

The corner of Medicare known as Advantage programs, emphasizing Accountable Care Organizations or ACOs, is another complicated matter. Verma seems to be looking to restrict ACOs to those with real accountability. Some view this as more draconian behavior, but I see her point. B+.

PBM companies—those lucrative outfits that "manage" pharmaceutical benefits—are also on the DIC's hit list. I see little progress. What I see is rural pharmacies dying out because they get caught in the PBM companies' baroque pricing schemes. D- to F.

A almost wholly unnoticed federal regulation from last month deserves much more attention. This voluminous document dramatically revises fee schedules for Medicare patients, emphasizing many of the services traditionally provided with little or no reimbursement by primary care physicians. New billing codes are proposed. For the first time the playing field may soon be leveled for many PCPs. This is a potential big win for those working for Verma. A solid A+.

The above's an excellent example of emerging claims, for example those in a worthy new Brookings piece, that real cause for optimism exists in health care reform. At least some of that stems from activities within HHS. The conservative author, Stuart Butler, deserves a careful read. He signals several "under the radar" patterns from both the states and HHS itself, flowing from increased flexibility that HHS now has. (For all its strengths, ACA was hamstrung by some fairly inflexible regulations on matters such as metrics for improving Health IT.) A+.

Average grade for HHS: B-. Why this good in an abysmal administration? As I've intimated, for every meddling White House apparatchik there's an outside interest pushing back on Azar and Verma. Lots of IT vendors. Lots of payers. Lots of innovators. (And, of course, lots of outraged citizens in the one conspicuous but miniature case of the separated children.) The very protean and risibly shuffling-buffalo scale nature of HHS may have been its greatest virtue. In an effort to satisfy the spirit of "anything but Obama," they're trying some new stuff, and some of it isn't half bad.

Thus VA and HHS are fascinating bookends juxtaposing the risks and benefits of homogeneous versus heterogeneous health planning. Right now HHS is winning, if only because of a political atmosphere in which the latter is better adapted to thrive. It could, of course, go the other way. Personally I hope the VA is restored to its former strength, perhaps in a spruced-up and more streamlined form: less bureaucratically stodgy to get away from the current predicament in which everyone from a bad manager to a bad nurse can tie the place in knots. I also hope HHS, even if Medicare For All becomes a reality, preserves opportunities for experimentation and innovation.

Article source:Health Care Renewal

[clusterassets]

New world news from Time: Meet 3 of America’s Most Fanatical Royals Fans Who Are Traveling to Windsor for Harry and Meghan’s Wedding

Millions of Americans are expected to tune into Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s royal wedding on Saturday — 23 million Americans tuned in to watch the wedding of Prince William and Catherine, the Duchess of Cambridge, in 2011. But some stateside super fans are taking it a step further and heading straight to Windsor for the royal wedding.

Kristen Meinzer, Kristin Contino and Christine Ross are just three of the so-called royal family watchers heading across the pond to Windsor, England, to celebrate Meghan and Harry’s royal wedding just a stone’s throw from the happy couple themselves. Here are their stories:

Kristen Meinzer

TIME.

For Kristen Meinzer, who grew up in Minnesota and now lives in New York, watching Prince Charles and Princess Diana Spencer’s 1981 wedding on television was a formative moment. “I think that may be the first wedding I was ever aware of outside of Disney fairy tales,” she told TIME. “And that’s where I got all of my knowledge about what happens at traditional weddings — you wear a white dress, you maybe ride in a carriage.”

Meinzer’s late mother and late grandmother were both anglophiles, who loved reading the tabloids and hearing about the latest royal family news. Her mother was even a member of an Eastenders fan club — a long-running British TV soap. “It’s no surprise that between those two I ended up becoming a little bit obsessed with the royals from a very young age,” she says.

In 12 hours I'll be on a flight to the UK to cover the #RoyalWedding. The last time I was in the UK, Princess Di was still alive, and I got to see her from afar. Oh, how the world has changed. But love is still alive! #HarryandMeghan @royalweddingpod pic.twitter.com/4swxnVkiH4

— Kristen Meinzer (@kristenmeinzer) May 17, 2018

As a director for the podcast network Panoply and a seasoned podcaster, starting up a royal wedding-themed podcast was a natural next step for Meinzer after Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s relationship began looking serious. Meinzer partnered up with James Barr, a flame-haired Brit and huge Prince Harry fan based in London and the pair together launched When Meghan Met Harry: A Royal Weddingcast.

“My boss thought, oh this is going to be great,” Meinzer tells TIME. “We’re going to have a woman of color in America and a red-haired white dude who loves the royals in England. We’ll reflect the couple and we’ll reflect the audience who is listening. And hopefully we’ll all just feel like we’re in one giant love fest together all the time.”

Considering wearing this floral extravaganza – including fascinator – to the #RoyalWedding in honor of Beatrice and Eugenie. Too much? Or just enough? @imjamesbarr @royalweddingpod pic.twitter.com/T1m8jopqYB

— Kristen Meinzer (@kristenmeinzer) May 17, 2018

Meinzer is heading to Windsor for the wedding with her podcast co-host Barr. “I’ll be talking with locals about how exciting the day is and giving some interviews to the press,” Meinzer said. “But mostly I’ll just be celebrating love. And knowing that the rest of the world is going to be celebrating too.”

Kristin Contino

Kristin Contino

Kristin Contino, a self-proclaimed “royal watcher” and anglophile from King of Prussia, Philadelphia, says she’s been passionate about the royal family since she was a young girl. Her love for all things royal was inspired by her mom, a huge fan of Diana Spencer who even named Contino’s sister after the late Princess of Wales.

Contino’s obsession with England and the royal family was enhanced by a period studying abroad in London. “When I moved to London I felt a real connection to the city,” the 37-year-old says. “I loved living there and felt really at home. That’s when my love started to grow.”

Now Contino, a fiction writer and website editor, has managed to turn her passion into a business with Royally Broke, a fashion and lifestyle blog featuring budget-friendly styles inspired by Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle. Contino launched the site around the time that Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’s engagement was announced and it’s gone from strength to strength.

“I thought of starting a Meghan Markle blog, but there are so many of them already out there,” she says. “I wanted to make something that was more of a royal lifestyle blog, to show Americans how they can dress like Kate and Meghan and get inspiration from their styles.”

Contino is heading to the London and Windsor to celebrate the May 19 royal wedding in style. “Americans are really excited because Meghan’s ‘one of us’,” she says. “There’s this whole novelty factor of an American joining the royal family — it’s nothing like I’ve seen in my lifetime and, as Wallace Simpson was never technically a royal, this is a real first. People are so excited to see what Meghan will bring to the table.”

Christine Ross

#NewProfilePic 😉💻🎥❤️ pic.twitter.com/lONoytVDw7

— Christine Ross (@christine_effie) December 1, 2017

Unlike Meinzer and Contino, Christine Ross’ interest in the royal family wasn’t sparked until adulthood. “I wasn’t so much interested in them as a young girl, it came later,” she says. “I went through some situations that the Duchess of Cambridge went through — she went through a big public break up and had to land on her feet and I had gone through a similar situation and was really inspired by the way she handled it with such poise.”

Ross and her blogging partner have forged a successful career out of tapping into America’s obsession with the royal family. The pair run three websites: What Would Kate Do?, which seeks inspiration from the life and style of the Duchess of Cambridge , Dress Like a Duke, which chronicles the style of royal males, and, most recently, Meghan’s Mirror, which focuses on the former Suits star’s “chic, classic and casual style.”

Possibly my favorite @MeghansMirror article to date!! https://t.co/5AexlFZWdJ

— Christine Ross (@christine_effie) April 12, 2018

The idea to set up What Would Kate Do? came from “a place of personal need for a strong female role model,” Ross says. “I found that the Duchess of Cambridge was a great role model and I wanted to promote that for other women also looking for strong, female role models in the public eye. It’s the same reason why we decided to promote Meghan — she’s a strong, female role model and we definitely need more of them in our world.”

Ross, who lives outside Washington D.C., is in Windsor on May 18 and 19 where she will be working with a couple of U.K.-based and international networks as a royal expert.

“I’m really looking forward to learning about the wedding dress,” Ross says. “We write so much about fashion and there’s such a huge amount of buzz around the dress that Meghan will choose. I’m excited to see which designer she’s gone for and which style — she’s definitely been keeping us on our toes!”

May 19, 2018 at 01:15AM ClusterAssets Inc., https://ClusterAssets.wordpress.com

#Time #world #news #ClusterAssets #ClusterAsset #Cluster Asset Inc. #ClusterAssets Inc.

[manablr]

I’ve been busy with school can you tell lmao Yakuza Kiwami 2 translation (4)

Chapter 4, The Four kings of Omi. ー　－　－ Date: Oh, I’m sorry. Lady: Um, this is an weird question but, are you detective Date? Date: Huh? Yeah, I am. Lady: I thought so! I’m a huge fan! Date: A fan? What do you mean? Lady: That incident a year ago, you went against the boss’ orders and did an investigation all on your own! Then we were finally able to expose that Jingu guy’s money laundering scheme! Behind closed doors, everyone calls you the famous Legendary Detective! Date: Hang on a sec. I wasn’t the one who settled that incident. Also, I’m not a detective anymore either. Lady: I know! After the incident, you decided to resign. You threw your resignation letter at the Chief’s face and then socked him in the mouth! Date: What in the world has this turned into. ???: Legendary Detective. Date: Hm? So he really is a detective dude: I heard you made some friends with the Yakuza here in Kamurocho. You’re a popular guy. Lady: Oh, assistant inspector Kawara. Kawara: Miss.. I don’t think looking up to a guy like him is very becoming. If you hung around people from the central office.. I think that would be much better for your career.. don’t you think? Date: Killer Kawara.. Why are you here? Kawara: You don’t know? I’m the detective here now. Date: The guy with an itchy trigger finger is a detective now. How ridiculous. Kawara: That’s not a very nice thing to say. And that rumor’s a bit old, isn’t it? Date: Not for me, I can remember it like it was yesterday. Kawara: You’ve seen someone killed right in front of you before, right? Date: I have, but that has nothing to do with me anymore. That includes running into you. Kawara: Wait a minute. You’re not done here quite yet. Date: What do you mean? Kawara: You wanted to talk to Sudo, didn’t you? He’s waiting for you. Let’s go. ー　－　－ Date: He’s three floors down in the basement? You’re dragging me out to quite a peculiar place. Kawara: Are you scared? Date: Not really. If something were to happen to me down here, it would be pretty obvious what happened. Kawara: Third floor, room number 13, the file room. The room the Tokyo City Police say is forbidden. Date: The infamous room of scandals.. ー　－　－ Sudo: So you brought him along. Date, I apologize for having to bring you all the way down here. Date: It’s fine. Sudo: Allow me to introduce you. This is Foreign Affairs section two chief, superintendent Kurahashi. Kurahashi: I’ve heard the rumors about you, Date. Nice to meet you. Date: Section two? Why is the section chief of Asian Foreign Affairs here? Sudo: As I said, he’s currently monitoring the Omi Alliance’s movements. Date: That’s right.. Terada’s murder, right? Sudo: Yes. This may have a connection to the foreign underworld, like a Chinese or Korean group. Date: The foreign mafia, right? Kurahashi: Actually, we here in section two have been deeply investigating them over a year now. Naturally, we have received word of a big movement on their end. We suspected as much for a while. And our suspicions held true. Date: What do you mean? Sudo: I recieved a call for help from Kurahashi’s inner circle, several weeks prior I had been looking into Kamurocho’s current state of affairs. And then.. Date: There was that bomb. Sudo: Exactly. They hit us where it hurts. Date: So what does this have to do with you section four people? Sudo: Fifth Chairman of the Omi Alliance, Second Chairman of the Goryu clan. A man named Goda Ryuji. Date: Goda Ryuji.. Sudo: The Omi Alliance seems to think he played a role in Terada’s murder. Date: And what role is that? Sudo: We have phone records that suggests he was involved with this explosion. Recording: Alright alright. I’ll trust ya, but you and I ain’t friends. We both just happen to want to see Kamurocho go up in flames… After this, we’re just strangers, got it? Yeah, I figured as much. Sudo: The man with the accent appears to be Goda Ryuji himself. Date: I see. So section four and two are trying to figure out who that other man is. Kurahashi: That’s right. We’re trying to figure out who this second person really is. Our objective is to find out what group he’s a part of that has ties to the Omi Alliance. Date: Where did that phone call take place? Kurahashi: We tried to isolate the background noise, but we weren’t able to pinpoint anything specific. Date: And? What does all this have to do with me? Kurahashi: Actually, Date, we believe you’re well acquainted with this man. Date: Huh? That’s.. Kurahashi: That’s right. You know this man very well. He’s the manager at the host club called Stardust in Kamurocho. He goes by “Kazuki.” Date: What does Kazuki have to do with this? Sudo: Actually, as early as six months ago, Goda Ryuji had been to Kamurocho. And the person he contacted, was Kazuki. Date: That doesn’t mean anything. Kurahashi: There’s more than that. He’s called Kazuki, but he has another, real name as well. Date: Real name? Kurahashi: Jinwu Kang. Without a doubt, he’s Korean. Sudo: We would like you, Date, to discreetly get close to this man in order to give them a scare. Is he associated with the Korean Mafia or not.. Please, try your best to find out. Kurahashi: Because of what happened last year, he trusts you. Because of this, you are the only one who can carry out this mission. ー　－　－ Kiryu: Why are you taking me specifically? Hey, are you listening? Kaoru: We should be good here. Kiryu: What do you mean? Kaoru: Arresting you for assault was just a cover. I’ve been given orders to take you into protective custody. Kiryu: Protective custody? Kaoru: Try to run, and I’ll arrest you on the spot. Kiryu: Get down! Where did it hit you? Kaoru: It.. It’s just a scratch... ‘t’s nothing. Kiryu: Getting shot isn’t nothing. ... This is bad. Hey.. Where’s the nearest hospital!? Kaoru: Sotenbori.. Kiryu: What? Kaoru: In Sotenbrori.. A snack bar called Aoi... ー　－　－ Lady: Who’re you? Kiryu: My name’s Kiryu. Lady: Bustin’ through the door like you own the place.. Because of that, I ain’t payin’ you a cent. Kiryu: What? Lady: Yer here for the protection money, ain’t ya? Kiryu: A woman named Sayama Kaoru.. Do you know her? Lady: Kaoru..? What’s about her? Kiryu: She’s hurt. Lady: Where is she? Kiryu: I left her in the car. Lady: Well hurry and bring her here! ー　－　－ The lady thinks they’re shooting a film, that Japan is too peaceful for someone to really be shot lol she keeps asking where the cameras are. ー　－　－ Kiryu: I’m back. Where should I put her? Lady: Lay her down here! ー　－　－ Kiryu decides that, since she’s being treated and there’s nothing more he can do, to walk around town a little bit. ー　－　－ Daigo: It’s me... Daigo. Kiryu: How are things over there? Daigo: As boring as ever. I’m on my way to Kamurocho with Chief Goda now. Kiryu: I see.. More importantly, how are you holding up? Daigo: I am, I suppose... I didn’t get beat on as much as you did. Kiryu: I suppose. Anyways, I’m leaving the treaty in your hands. Daigo: Yeah, I know. ... Later. ー　－　－ Lady: It’s me. Kiryu: Oh, you. How is she? Lady: Nice to know you were worried. Thanks to the medicine I gave her, she’s sleeping like a brick. Kiryu: She’s sleeping, huh.. Lady: By the way. I’m sorry to ask, but would you pick up some more bandages for me? It looks like I’m all out.. Kiryu: Some more bandages.. Alright, I’ll grab some for you. Lady: Thanks. See ya later. ー　－　－ Kiryu: Here you go. Lady: I’m so sorry for the trouble. You’re a life saver. ー　－　－ Kiryu: You worked at a hospital? So that’s why you’re so good at this. Lady: That was quite a long time ago. Kiryu: I suppose so. You seem to know Sayama quite well. Lady: Know her? Of course. I’m that young lady’s mother. Kiryu: What? Lady: Well, not by blood, though. But, I am her mother, more or less. Kiryu: Did you take her in off the streets or something? Lady: Gettin’ warmer. A little earlier than that- I raised her. She was an orphan. Kiryu: An orphan? Lady: Both her parents died shortly after she was born. So I took her in. Kiryu: Well.. That sounds about right. Lady: What d’ya mean? Kiryu: Well.. When she got shot, she said to take her to this place called “Aoi.” Lady: Okay.. And? Kiryu: Any normal person.. Under those circumstances, wouldn’t’ve said the place’s name. They would’ve called it by their parent’s name. Lady: Huh. Is that true? How do you know? Kiryu: Because I’m an orphan, too. Lady: Really? I guess Kaoru doesn’t really see me as a mother then.. Kiryu: I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve said that. Lady: Oh, no! No need to apologize! You didn’t say anything wrong. Kiryu: Alright.. Lady: Anyways, do you work with Kaoru? Maybe you’re.. a detective? Or something? Kiryu: No. I don’t have that reputable a job. Lady: Huh? What do you mean? Kiryu: I’m.. Something like the enemy of law enforcement. Lady: Hm? Kaoru: Mom... You talk too much. Kiryu: Does it hurt? Kaoru: You don’t have any right bein’ worried about me. Lady: Hey now! He’s the one who carried you all the way out here! Why are you being rude to him? Kaoru: I’m not in the habit of thanking a Yakuza. Lady: Really, Kaoru- Kiryu: Alright now. That’s enough. We don’t need to fight. I don’t think things are going according to Goda Ryuji’s plan anymore. Kaoru: This.. This wasn’t an order from Goda Ryuji. Kiryu: How do you know? Kaoru: The Goryu Clan uses their power to drive their opponents into a corner and then finish them. That’s how they do business. Ordering a quick, clean hit like this isn’t their style. Kiryu: A hit? Kaoru: To be able to hit a target from that distance, it had to’ve been a pro. And, this bullet here.. Kiryu: What about it? Kaoru: For a bullet this size, the caliber of the rifle must’ve been smaller than what you’d find in an ordinary rifle. Their intention may not have been to kill. Kiryu: In other words.. Their plan was to try and scare me. Kaoru: Who knows. We’ll have to ask them ourselves. Where are you going? Kiryu: To look for his employer. The way things are... It seems like everyone’s trying to kill everyone. Kaoru: If you’re going to do that.. Then take this to the Majong Parlor in Shofukucho. Kiryu: You got an informant? Kaoru: There should be a guy wearing a padded vest, along with two other people at the table. Ask him; “What’s the rate?” and then he’ll ask “What do you normally play for?” in return. At that point you say, “It’s your call.” Kiryu: “It’s your call”.. Kaoru: Yep. After that, he’ll throw some bullshit call at you. Accept whatever it is. Kiryu: Got it. Kaoru: One more thing! I’m going to remind you, you’re still going to be under police surveillance. Don’t even think about trying to run. Just one call, and I’ll be there to arrest you instantly. You understand? Kiryu: Yeah.

#yk2trans #trans