#like oh god did 12 ever tell bills mom ????? about bill????? like jesus

[frogmascquerade]

.

#i would say dan lewis probably had the most chill experience running w the doctor #of the nuwho besties #like okay to be fair i dont remember a whole lot of details from flux but i think everybody he loves is still pretty alive #diane did get put through the ringer LMAO she was cool tho! wish we could have gotten more screen time w her tbh #cause i was thinking like #well i was thinking like if i was the doctors companion how much would it ruin my life vs how much would it 'improve' >/ #it* #like seeing all those things that are amazing and terrible and like the sheer confusion and fear and wonder that always seems to come w #traveling w them #but then its like ofc its dangerous and would it put my family in danger. and to what extent like what happened w the jones family is #horrifying to think about #and how well equipped (emotionally and psychically) am *i* to deal with all of that (probably not very) #and then one day either i die or the doctor leaves or like whatever. like anything could happen and would my family even know #like oh god did 12 ever tell bills mom ????? about bill????? like jesus #well i dont know where i was going w this. but its scary to think about being completely lost on another #planet or in another time or universe or whatever and just. what happens to the people left behind? #this is supposed to be a FUN SCI FI SHOW #(it never was)

[snapplejaxs]

Our Story

Sam Winchester x reader 

For @negans-lucille-tblr​ SPN Secret Santa Fic Exchange. My SS: @pinknerdpanda​ 

a/n: I kinda got carried away and this was super long and I had to keep editing it down. Sorry it took so long ♥️

5k words // all mistakes and bad writing are mine. 

♡︎   •   ♡︎   •   ♡︎   •   ♡︎    •   ♡︎

“Did you find everything okay?" The cashier asks me as he eyes my gummy worms, popcorn, hot chocolate, Cheetos, mint ice-cream, and Oreos, before looking up at me with a look. I suddenly feel like a little kid who was let free in a candy store. 

"Yup, this is everything. Movie night with the kids." I lie with a smile. 

"Ahh." He nods as he starts to ring up the junk without another word. And thank God for that. I didn't need to feel purchase shamed. It’s Friday night, I’m off of work for the weekend, and this is my money. I can spend it how I want. And what I want is to get junk food and not leave my apartment until Monday morning. I pay quickly, skipping my receipt, and grabbing my packed plastic bag. "Happy holidays. Enjoy your night." The cashier calls. 

"Thank you, you too.” The door chimes when I pull it open to step out into the cold night. The street lights are on but the streets are empty. The sidewalks are even emptier, except for a homeless man playing his guitar and singing ‘Joy To The World’ while his dog sleeps nearby. 

Snow hasn't fallen, but it's so cold I expect it by morning, if not any minute from now. I secure my bag around my wrist and tuck my hands into the pockets of my jacket. I walk down the sidewalk, watching my breath appear and disappear in front of me. My gloved fingers wrap around the few dollar bills of my change and I stop to lay it into the homeless man’s cup. He wishes me a merry Christmas and continues his holiday carols.

My apartment is a block away. I could have driven to the market but decided to walk since my only plan was loading up on sweets and sours and I thought I could at least try to exercise. But feeling this weather, I now know walking was a mistake. I just want to get home as quickly as possible to wrap up in blankets, drink hot chocolate, eat my sweets and watch Charlie Brown’s Christmas. 

The street lights up as a car approaches. I stop walking and watch it pass me and the road is clear again. No one else seems to be coming and there’s no need to walk all the way to the crossroad when the road is empty. I can just cross right here and be home quicker. The streets light up again and a car comes speeding down the road. 

It passes me so quickly I can feel the breeze fly off of it. Jesus, who needs to be driving that fast? I step into the street when the car fully disappears. Suddenly the street lights up again. I hear the car before I can see it. It’s black and loud and driving just as fast as the one that just passed me. Before I can make a move, the lights get brighter and closer. It takes me only a second to realize it’s too late to run. I drop my bag right before the crash.

Beep. The street lights up again. I hear the car before I can see it. Beep. It’s black and loud and driving just as fast as the one that just passed me. Beep. Before I can make a move, the lights get brighter and closer. Beep. It takes me only a second to realize it’s too late to run. 

I throw my hands up to block the bright light, gasping, and blinking. There's no car. No street. I’m not even outside. I’m in a white room with a light burning my eyes. My throat is dry, my mouth tastes metallic, and holy fuck the lights are so bright.

“Hi.” I jump at the voice. I turn to see a man, who I've never seen before in my life, sitting in a chair nearby. His face is anxious, yet soft. He stares at me thoughtfully with emerald eyes and shiny brown hair brushing his shoulders. “Hi. Are you okay?”

Am I okay?  “What the hell?” I barely recognize my own voice. It’s so dry and quiet, and hardly there. “W-who are you?” I speak anyway. 

“My name-, uh, I'm Sam.” He touches his chest, stuttering anxiously. “I, uh, I hit you with my car. And I am so, so sorry.”

I blink up at the man. “You hit me with your car?”

“I’m really sorry.” He shakes his head slowly. “I- I, I tried to stop. So I didn't run you over exactly, I just kind of hit you. You fell and knocked your head pretty hard, nothing’s broken, but you're face--”

“What’s wrong with my face?” I try to sit up, touching my cheek. I can feel bandages under my fingers. My wrist is wrapped up. 

“Nothing is wrong with your face.” I hear Sam say as I look around for any type of reflection in the room. “Just some cuts and bruises, but you still look,” I turn to him, “nice.” He breathes out before clearing his throat and looking away. I touch my wrist. 

"I thought nothing was broken," I wave my wrapped hand at him.

"It's sprained." 

“Okay…" I sit back in my bed. "Did you call the police?”

“No.” His eyes snap back to mine, suddenly widening. “I uh, was kinda hoping we didn’t have to get the police involved?”

He's kidding, right? There’s a knock on the door before it opens. A nurse walks into the room with a tablet in her hand. 

“Oh, Mrs. Plant. You're awake.” She smiles at me and I quickly glance at Sam. Cause who the hell is Mrs. Plant?

“Yeah.” He stands from his chair, rising 12 feet in the air. “She uh, just woke up. Her throat is very dry. Do you think she could get some water, maybe?”

“No problem.” She turns to look at me. “How are you feeling? Any pain?”

“Hm, no." I try to speak. "Nothing right now.”

“That’s good.” She taps on the tablet. “You're very lucky to have no serious injuries after being involved in a hit and run.” Hit and run? I look over at Sam again who gives me pleading eyes. Not wanting to be in trouble. 

“Yeah, so lucky.” I croak. 

“And you're even luckier your fiance was there with you.”

Fiance?!  I almost shout out, but the words get stuck in my throat and I start coughing. My throat is burning from the dryness and I grab it. Sam immediately towers over me.

“Okay, this can wait.” The nurse lowers her tablet. “Let me go get you some water. I’ll be right back.”

"Thank you," Sam says as we watch her leave the room. He then turns to his chair to get a water bottle and hands it to me. "Are you okay?"

"You had water?"

"Yeah, I just wanted her to leave the room." He tells me as I drink the semi-cold water. It soothes the burn but adds pain. I drink anyway. “I uh, kinda told the nurse you were my fiance so she let me stay with you," Sam says. "I mean, I hit you with my car. I wasn't just gonna drop you off and leave. I had to make sure you were okay.” I lower the half empty bottle and stare at him. He looks nervous, exhausted, and something else I can't put my finger on. 

"You're mad?" He breathes. "Understandable. You have every right to be mad. I friggin ran you over for fucks-sakes. Of course you're mad."

"Hit me." I correct him, and he ceases to look at me. "You hit me. You didn't run me over."

"Right." He pathetically smiles, clearly not in a smiling mood, before his face falls into a troubled neutral again. "So um... Did you want to press charges?”

The door opens again. This time not the Nurse with water, but the concerned face of my ex-boyfriend, Henry, as he runs over to my bed. “Manda? What the hell? Are you okay?” 

“Henry?" I suddenly feel like choking again. "What are you doing here?”

“The hospital called me. You got ran over?” His chest rises and falls and his eyes are enormous. He must have run down the hall. Henry and I broke up 6 months ago. But apparently, he's still my emergency contact. 

“I didn't get run over. I just got--"

“Holy shit your face." He cuts me off. "And your arm." He points to my wrapping. "What happened?" 

“It's my wrist. And it's not broken, I--" 

“Who’s this?” He speaks over me again, pointing at Sam.  

“This is Sam--”

“Sam? Who’s Sam?” 

“Sam’s my finance!” I say louder than expected. But at least he finally shuts up. He stares at me and in confusion, eyebrows raised and face frozen. If I weren't so confused myself I would be enjoying this.  

“Your fiance?” I hear the sound of my Mom's voice behind Henry. 

Now my eyes widen. "Mom?" 

"Yeah, I called your mom.” Henry steps aside, and in the doorway is my mom and little brother Matt. My mom dressed elegantly in a red dress suit and my brother in his school tie and slacks. 

"Oh my God, look at your face!" My mom practically shrieks when she sees me. "Manda, how on earth did this happen? Is your arm broken?"

"No mom. I just sprained it." A quick glance at Sam. "It was a hit and run. I fell on it but I'm fine."

"Well, you don't look fine. You look horrible."

"Thanks, Mom." 

"And this man." She gestures towards Sam. "Did I hear correctly? You have a fiance?" Henry's eyes lock on mine waiting for my answer. 

"Yes." I match his stare. "This is Sam." I place my hand on top of his. "My fiance." Sam smiles at me and then nods towards my mother. 

"Hi." He waves with his free hand. 

"Are you knocked up?" Matt asks me with a smile on his face. 

"Matty." My mom scolds him but turns to study my face. "Are you?"

"No, I'm not."

"Well then, explain to me why you're engaged and I'm just now hearing about it?" She crosses her arms. 

I let go of Sam's hand. "I was going to tell you this weekend, I swear."

"This weekend is still too late of notice. I should have known sooner." Mom states. "I don't know anything about this man. When did you two start dating? Where did you meet? Are you living together? How did he propose? What does he do for a living?" She shoots questions at me, and I dramatically grab my head. 

"One question at a time, please."

"When's the wedding?" Henry cuts in. His aggressive eyes staring Sam down. I look back over to Sam stares Henry down right back. 

"June." He says as calmly as ever. And I nod. 

"Yup. We like June." I add on to his lie. 

"Well, I suppose June is nice." Mom agrees. "That way your face can heal."

“Where’s your engagement ring?” Henry counters. 

I look down at my ring-less hand, not knowing what to say. “Well um-”

“She hit her head.” Sam says. “She had to take the ring off because it's metal, and she couldn't get a CAT scan with metal on. It’s with her other stuff.”

I stare up at the stranger in surprise. He’s smart and a quick thinker. 

“Well you just have an answer for everything don't you, Sammy?” Henry mocks. 

“It’s Sam.” Sam demands in a strict voice. “Don’t ever call me Sammy.” Sam says directly to Henry and the room gets quiet. The door opens and the Nurse finally enters with the water.

"Ow." I grab my head, not actually feeling any pain, but just wanting to be left alone. "Ow. My head." I touch Sam's hand. "Sam?"

“Excuse me,” Sam turns his attention to the nurse. ”She's having some pain. Maybe we should call it a night, with the visitors?"

The Nurse hands me the cold water. "It is getting late. I can give you some pain medicine, dinner, and then you can sleep. We can check your results in the morning." She looks at Sam. "Will you be staying the night as well?" 

"Oh? Um..." Sam turns to me and our eyes meet. He was cute. I won't lie. And for some weird reason, I feel safe with him. But I don't know if I want to be alone with him and make awkward small talk.

"I'm just gonna sleep." I tell him with a shrug. "You just go home and come back tomorrow… Honey.” 

"Okay." He smiles. "I'll see you in the morning, honey.” He gives me a little nod. ”Get some sleep." His eyes look towards my family and I follow him. My mother, my brother and Henry watch us intensely. I turn back to Sam with a smile. "Goodnight." He says and starts to lean down to me. I prepare myself and he places a shy kiss on my lips. It's not mind shattering or romantic, more stiff and forced. I pull away and make the mistake of looking at Matt, who is silently laughing to himself. I ignore him and smile at Sam.

"Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow."

The door buzzing wakes me up. Followed by loud knocking. I quickly, but carefully, get out of bed and hurry to open the door to my mother, and Matt holding books in his arms.  

"Mom? What the…? What are you doing? Why are you beating on my door this early in the morning?"

"Early? it's almost 1 o'clock. And we have a wedding to plan. You won't return my phone calls so we can do this in person." She invites herself in. "God, this place is a mess. How are you getting married?" Matt quickly follows her, struggling with the books. 

I close the door and lay my head against it. Why didn't Sam just kill me? I was released from the hospital yesterday, and Sam took me home to sleep. But this fake wedding is all my mother can talk about. I was just ran over by a car. No soup. Or 'Get Well Soon' balloons. Just voicemails about a chicken menu and pink vs pink napkins.  

"Manda!" She calls from the couch. "Get in here and come look at this color for bridesmaid's dresses. I know you said June, so we should probably be looking at a Summer's Collection, but this orange is just so lovely. You'll die when you see it."

"Oh, I wish." I push off of the door just as there's a knock. If she invited a planner I swear I'll... "Sam?"

"Hi." He smiles a wary smile. "I uh..." He lifts the paper bag he's holding in his hands. "You were holding groceries when I hit you. The ice cream ruined everything, so I replaced it. I also got you some other stuff.”

"Oh right." I laugh, embarrassed at the thought of all the junk he had to buy for a grown adult. "Um, thank you let me take it."

"No, no, no. I can bring it in." I step aside and let him in. "How's your wrist?" He places the bag on the counter. 

"It's okay. I was just about to take some medicine." 

"Oh, are you in pain?"

"No, I'm not." I rock on my heels. "Well, not in my wrist anyway, but trust me, a headache is coming."

"Hey, Sam." Matt enters the kitchen with a dirty smile as he looks between us. "Hey Ma, Sam is here." He walks over to the brown bag and pulls out apples. “And he bought fruit..?”

Sam's eyebrows raise to his forehead. "Your mom’s here?"

"Sam?" Mom calls as she walks up to him. "What a lovely surprise. I was just wondering where you were."

"Hi." Sam gives me a quick look. "It's good to see you again. I'm sorry am I interrupting something?"

"No, not at all. The man my daughter is going to marry and I don't know a thing about you. Come here." She tugs him by the arm and drags him away to the couch. "Come sit son, and look at some of these magazines. Tell me what colors you like." 

"Son." Matt laughs as he digs through the bag for the gummy worms. I need to tell her, and now is the time. 

"Mom..." I mumble more to myself than her. I follow them to the couch and see her flipping through the magazine. 

"Is your family excited about the wedding? I'd just love to meet your mother." She questions Sam with a giant smile. 

"Oh wow," Sam stops on a page in the dress magazine. "This orange is really nice." 

"Isn't it?" Mom practically hits the ceiling. "Oh Manda, you picked a smart one. And pretty too." She runs her hands through his hair. "Just wait until you meet the rest of the family at the Christmas party. They just can not wait to meet you Sam."

"The what?" My heart speeds up. “What are you talking about Mom?”

“Mom told everyone you were engaged.” Matt says with a mouth full of gummy worms as he sits across the couch in the lazy chair.  

“"What? When? Why?" I walk over to look at her. “Ma, would you do that?"

She looks up at me. "Do what? Share the good news of my only daughter finally getting married?" She scoffs. "What's the problem? You're engaged. This is something to celebrate. I just let people know that you were bringing your fiance to the Christmas party.” She turns back to the magazine. “They're excited that you're getting married.”

"But I'm not Ma." 

"What?" She snaps up to look at me. 

"Sam and I aren't engaged." I sigh and sit across from her on the wooden coffee table. "I've never met him before last night. He’s the one who hit me. He took me to the hospital and told the Nurse we were engaged so he could stay in the hospital room with me, otherwise they would have made him leave."

The room is quiet, but nor quiet enough due to Matt’s chewing and laughing through his nose. Mom looks between me and Sam, who sits frozen. 

"I'm sorry," he says. “It’s all my fault really. I should have told the truth.”

"So you're not engaged?" Mom says to me and I shake my head. "Manda, why would you say a lie like this? I've already told everyone." She stands to pace the room. "Your father is flying home, he can’t wait to meet Sam. Your aunt is buying a damn cake! One of those fancy ones that don't look edible, like in the cake magazines."

“Cake magazines?” Sam questions himself. 

“Why?” I ask her. “Why buy a cake?”

"She's probably in shock," Matt shrugs from the chair. “Everyone else was.” 

"Manda, you almost died the other night.” Mom tells me. “People are very excited about your engagement and want to celebrate you."

"Especially when no one thought it was gonna happen." Matt comments and I turn to him. 

"Shut up, Matty." 

"Maybe,” Sam speaks up and we all turn to him. “I could go to the party? You know weddings get called off all the time. I can show up. Meet all your friends and family, and then sometime in March, when no one sees it coming. We could, ya know, go out separate ways.”

"Great, more lying!" Mom throws her arms. “I don't know how I  feel about inviting a stranger to my house.”

"A stranger?” Matt shouts. “Twelve seconds ago, he was son. Now he's a stranger?" 

"Alright.” Mom shouts. “Okay. I guess to save everyone a night of embarrassment and questions. I'll play along with your lies.” She turns to Matt. “We both will.” She looks at me. “I’ll tell your father the truth when he lands but for everyone else, you two need to get your story straight at least.” She grabs her purse.“I’ll see you both next Saturday at 6 o’clock. Let’s go Matthew.”

Matt stands and holds up the gummy worms. “Taking these with me. But you can keep those heavy books.” He follows mom before turning back to me. “Oh, and advice- work on the fake kissing. Cause I kinda knew the truth night one. Bye.” Sam and I watch them leave and I turn to look at him.

“Sorry about them. About all of this engagement crap I just dragged you into.”

“It's not your fault.” He says. “I’m the one who told the lie."

"Yeah but I should have told her the truth sooner. But seeing Henry just…”

“I get it.” Sam nods. “Everything happened so fast and it was a heat of the moment thing. Don't worry.  I can play along.” He touches his hair. “I don't have an ugly Christmas sweater though."

"Oh don’t worry, it's not that kind of Christmas party. It's more of a black tie event. Lots of tiny foods and champagne. My parent’s maid and cook will be walking around serving guests.” I stand to close the open magazines and books on the table. "Have you ever seen Die Hard? A Christmas party like that, minus the explosions which I...."I turn back to Sam and he looks physically sick. His skin getting pale and eyes gloomy. "Are you okay?"

"Hm? Yeah.” He nods to himself. "I just... “ He clears his throat. “A black tie party. I can do that." 

"You don't own a Christmas sweater but you have a tux?"  I set the books down, ignoring the little moment he had. “You must be a workaholic.” 

“No I’m not. Well, not anymore, I guess. I just don't celebrate holidays much." He shrugs. "Never have really. Hey, are you hungry?” He switches the subject out of nowhere. “I’m kind of starving. So maybe we can work on our story while we eat?”

“Yeah, okay.” I look down at myself and realize I’m in pajamas. “Uh, just give me a minute. I’ll be right out.”

“Of course. “ Sam chuckles. “Take your time, I'll just wait here.” 

“Thanks.” I walk back to my room to change.

.

.

Sam's car is beautiful. I didn't get the chance to appreciate it the other day when he drove me home because I so was tired. But seeing it now, shining in the sun, it’s gorgeous. He pulls into the parking lot of a diner I’ve never seen before, even though I’ve lived in this town my entire life. 

“A diner?” My voice came out more critical than I intended.

“You don't like it?” Sam gets that nervous look on his face again and starts his car. “We can go somewhere else, I just--”

“No.” I stop him. “No. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to sound judgey. That was the rich girl in me that my mom raised trying to come alive again. A diner is fine. I'm not my mother. You saw my apartment. You saw my groceries. This is great. Let’s go.”

.

.

The diner experience is different. We got seated quickly. It wasn't crowded and the place smelt like pancakes. I look over the menu seeing pictures of nachos, burgers, and breakfast platters. The natural born sweet toother in me wanted something sweet. I place the menu down and looked at Sam.

“I think want pancakes.” I bite my bottom lip. “Is that weird? It’s almost 2 o’clock.”

Sam throws his head back in laughter. The first time I’ve seen him do that and it made me laugh. “That’s not weird. It’s a diner. Get pancakes.”

“Okay. What are you getting?”

“Probably a salad.”

“Well great.” I close my menu. “You eat all healthy, while I eat syrup and butter. The pressure you just put on me.”

He laughs again. “I'm vegan actually.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah,  I've been vegan for about three years now. I've always wanted to try it but…” His words die down. He looks down at his menu, with those sad puppy eyes making an appearance again. Something is off about this guy.

“What is it?”

“Nothing. It’s a long boring story, really.” He slightly laughs its off. “Trust me you don't want to hear about  my discovery of veganism.”

“You never wanna talk about yourself." 

His face flinches in confusion. "What?"

"You never talk about yourself," I repeat. "You always change the subject when anyone asks about you. I noticed it back at the hospital. And then today when my mom asked about your family. What's up with that? Do you have arrest warrants or something? I don't even know your real last name. Just Plant from the phony insurance card you gave."

He swallows, his adam's apple bobbing. "Winchester."

"Sam Winchester." I repeat the name. "Nice. Tell me something else about you besides your name.”

“Um, I have a dog?” He says it like it's a question.

“Aww. What’s it’s name?”

“Miracle.”

“Well, that’s very cute Sam. Where are you from and Miracle from?"

"Kansas."

"Any family?"

"No.” He shakes his head. “It's just me and Miracle." I know that's not true. Everyone has family. But the look on his face told me not to ask anymore questions about it. So I don't. 

"Hi." The waitress approaches our table. "Ready to order?" 

"Coming!" I say as I smooth out the wrinkles in my dress and make my way to the door. I open it and see Sam dressed nicely in his tuxedo. "Hi."

"Hey." He smiles a handsome smile. Probably the first genuine smile I've seen from him since we met. "You look really nice."

"Ha, don't lie. My face is still kind of beat up, but I covered what I could in makeup." I step out of the apartment and close the door behind me. “Ready to go?"

"Let's go." He leans his arm out and I hook around him. "And for the record, I'm not lying. You look amazing, Manda."

"Thank you, Sam. You look pretty good yourself."

.

.

The drive to my parents is quick and filled with trivia about our story. We met at the park where I like to read, and where Sam walks his dog. His dog got loose and ran to me, spilling my coffee. Sam offered to replace it. We dated for five months before he proposed during a picnic in the park. And a week later I got hit. 

Sam drives his car through the gate of my parents mansion. The parking lot is filled with cars of my relatives and family friends.  The lawn lit up with decorations and the mansion with Christmas lights. 

"Wow, this is your parents house?" Sam looks up at the house in awe. 

"Yup." I exhale. "And before we go I'm, I apologize for everything in advance.” Sam laughs even though I’m serious. “You're laughing now, but I'm not kidding. Rich people are snobs and it's only going to get worse once we walk into that house." 

“Alrighty then, I'll remember that.” Sam parks the car and turns to me. “ I have something for you.”  He digs through his pocket and pulls out a ring. “It’s nothing special. It’s from a pond shop. But in case anyone asks, you know?” 

“Smart thinking. That completely slipped my mind.” I hold my hand out for it but he slips it on my finger himself. I can feel my face heating up, and my stomach flipping. God, why is this happening. “Thanks.” I look down at the ring on my hand, and avoid his eyes. “Let’s do this thing shall we?”

.

.

As soon as we enter the foyer we are greeted with congratulations. Everyone from my aunt to my very distant cousins who I haven't seen since my childhood we're in the room. There are balloons and a giant banner with ‘You're Engaged’ spelled out in gold letters. There’s the giant Christmas tree, faux gifts, decorative lights and candles, and the fancy cake my mother mentioned sitting on a table surrounded by finger foods. This clearly is a huge deal. 

Sam stood close to me throughout most of the party. But eventually, my dad took him away  once he saw Sam’s Impala and I lost track of him. Once I was alone, my Aunt Janie pulled me aside to ask me question after question about Sam and  give me all tons of wedding advice that I wasn't gonna need.  Every time I saw or passed Matt he had a joke about me and Sam to tell. No one was enjoying themselves more than him tonight. Mom barely spoke to me, probably still upset about getting all excited about a wedding only to find out it was a lie. But the cake aunt Janie bought was good. So there’s that. 

I ate and drank, not enough to get drunk, but enough to keep saying ‘thank you’ every time someone congratulated me, asked to see my ring, or wanted to hear the story of the proposal for the gazillionth time. There was only so much I could take in one night. If this is what engagements are like, I'm in no rush to do this again. 

It’s getting late and I just wanted to go home now. I look around the party and don’t see Sam anywhere. 

"Well, Merry Christmas to me." A voice says behind me. I turn around and meet Henry. He's dressed sharply in a nice velvet suit and holding two drinks in his hand. "I know how much you hate these, so let's get out of here, huh? You and me?"

"Yeah, no thanks.” I give him my bitchiest smile. “I'm here with someone."

"Ah, you mean Sammy?" He scoffs. "He's obviously a weirdo. He has no family. Lives in a motel, and just drives around towns running people over. And he needs a haircut." He extends a drink to me. "Let's get out of here, Manda."

I don’t even want to know how he knows so much about Sam or who invited him to this party, I just want to get away from him. "Get home safe Henry. Or don’t. I could care less." I turn to walk away, spotting Matt sitting with some of the younger kids at the party. "Matty? Have you seen Sam?"

"Can't keep track of your rent-a-man?" He laughs to himself.

“Enough already.” I hold back from choking him.“I just want to find Sam and go home.”

“I saw him talking with Dad. I think he invited him to that old school car show he goes to once a year. You might need to extend your contract to August.”

I push past Matt to hurry outside. Maybe they were in the garage. Dad is always sneaking off to show off his car collection. Without getting too far, I see Sam standing out on the patio, with his hands in his pockets and looking up at the sky.

"Sam?" He stiffens when he hears me but doesn't turn. "Sam? It's freezing out here."

"Yeah.” He turns to look at me and something about the way his face breaks my heart. “You ready to go?”  He asks me. 

“Sam, what's wrong?"

"What? Nothing I just…” He looks everywhere but at me. “This was just a lot, you know."

"I know. I'm sorry. I really didn't expect it to be this bad. Everyone questioning you. And my Dad not leaving your side. And then Matt with all the stupid jokes.” I breathe. “God, you're so lucky you don't have a brother.” Sam pauses, looking at me with so much pain. I don't know what I said, but I hate myself for saying it. “What?” He says nothing but turns away from me and starts to walk towards his car. “Sam?” I follow behind him but his legs are longer and he moves faster. “Sam, wait.” He doesn't slow down so I run after him. “Sam!”

He unlocks his car and I run over to the other side. At this point, I’m sure he’d leave me here without hesitation. I let myself in his car and turn to him.“Sam, what happened? Did I say something wrong?” He shakes his head but doesn’t tell me what’s bothering him. We sit in silence for a minute. “Why did you help me?” I ask him. He stays quiet so I continue. “I mean, why not just drop me off and drive away if you didn't want to get in trouble with the cops? Why’d you come back the next day? Drive me home. Bring me groceries, and then take me out to lunch? You texted me all throughout the week--”

“Yeah, I get it.” He cuts me off with a sniffle. “I guess, I was just lonely. I just wanted someone to talk to?” 

“Okay, so talk to me.” I touch his hand. “Tell me what’s wrong with you Sam. No offensive, but something has been off about you since the day I met you.”

He slowly turns to me, eyes watery with the look he had when I first met him. Nervousness, exhaustion, and agony. 

“You’re gonna think I’m insane.” He whispers. I wrap my hand around his. 

“I won’t.”

To my surprise he holds my hand back.  “I…” He catches his shaky breath before he begins. “I had a brother.” He sniffles. “His name was Dean…”

Gummy worms, popcorn, hot chocolate, mint ice-cream, and Oreos. I think that’s everything. I palace all the junk on the counter. “Movie night with the kids.” I tell the cashier with a smile. She smiles and rings up the junk.

"Did you get any fruit?" Sam comes up behind me with a bag of apples in his hand. 

"The Gummy worms are fruit flavored.” I smile at him. 

“Stop it.” He places the apples down on the counter. “De, come on kiddo, time to go.”

Dean comes hurrying down the chip aisle with Cheetos in his hand. “Forget these mom.”

“Thanks Deano,” I take the chips. “Movie night would have been ruined without these.”

“You both are gonna rot your teeth.” Sam teases and ruffles Dean’s hair. I pay quickly, skipping the receipt, and Sam grabs the  packed paper bag. 

"Happy holidays and enjoy your night." The cashier calls to us. 

"Thank you, you too.” The door chimes when Dean pushes it open for us to  step out into the cold night.  “It’s snowing,” Dean shouts reaching his hand up to the fallen ice. 

“It’s freezing.” I say. “The faster we get home, the better. I want hot chocolate and Charlie.”

“Don't worry, I'm sure Charlie Brown  it's not going anywhere.” am throws his arms around me and places a soft kiss on my lips as the snow falls delicately around us. I pull away and look up at my happy husband smiling at me. “Seriously Sam, I  don’t want to miss it. We need to go.”

He scoffs with a playful eye roll. “I know you don’t.”

#sam winchester

[liesyousoldme]

9 or 12? (Or both💓)

“I seriously don’t thinkI’ve ever been this hard before, in my life.” & “Touch me.”

 college aged reddie accidental phone sex - continued under the cut

 “Okay, I got 26.4, too, do you want to try it or should I?”

Eddie shrugged, even though Richie couldn’t see it throughthe phone. His laptop was open on his lap, MyMathLab staring back at him on oneof the last problems of the night’s homework.

“I think I did the last wrong one,” Eddie replied. They always took turns entering their answers so if they messed up, only one of them would get it incorrect. It was absolutely saving their math grades.

“Okay, I’ll do it,” Richie said. Eddie waited a moment forRichie to enter their answer and see if they’d gotten the problem correct.After a moment, Richie yelled indignantly. “It’s doing the fucking thing again!It says the correct answer is 26.4, my answer exactly matches, and it’s sayingI got it wrong!”

Eddie sighed. This happened at least twice on each homeworkassignment. Technology was such bullshit. “Let me try.”

The computer told him he got the correct answer. When hetold Richie, he began cursing. Eddie laughed. “Calm down, dude, last one. I’llgo first so you don’t lower any more of your precious score.”

“Don’t make fun of me for wanting good grades, Edward,”Richie said haughtily. “Some of us are trying to keep our scholarships.”

“Some of us?” Eddie asked incredulously. “Both of us are onscholarships, dumbass. And making a B on one homework assignment out of thethirty we have this semester is not going to do much damage. Homework is 10% ofour –“

“Eds, I gotta be honest, I stopped listening,” Richieinterrupted. “Let’s finish so I can go jack off.”

“Richie!” Eddie felt his cheeks heating up. He hated that,hated that even after almost 15 years of friendship Richie could still make himas red as a tomato. It hadn’t always been that way. When they were in theirearly teens, Eddie had mostly felt slight disgust at Richie’s sexual comments. Asmuch as he wanted to, he didn’t see anything appealing about girls or boobs orvaginas and the fact that they seemed to be Richie’s favorite topic was generallyan annoyance.

That had changed when Richie had made his first commentabout fucking Bill’s dad instead of Eddie’s mom, which was how he’d decided to tell his friends he wasbisexual. They’d been 16. Eddie still wasn’t interested in girls, but at leastby that age he knew why. From that point on the blush appeared any time Richiementioned sex, mostly because Eddie had begun to picture what Richie might looklike; he never imagined another person with Richie, more just a blurry blob ofa human (for his own sanity). Unless Richie had specified someone – not so muchEddie’s mom or Bill’s dad, his two favorites, more like one of the Losers orsomeone from school – he managed to keep his fantasizing brain under control with the mental images.But when he did specify someone, Eddie didn’t blush. Didn’t feel the awkwardtingly sensation is his hands, didn’t feel his stomach swoop. He felt that sameannoyance from when he was young.

It became clear quickly that this feeling was jealousy.Because as much as Richie called Eddie cute cute cute and pinched his cheeks,Richie had never made that kind of comment about him. He hated how aware he wasthat he was the only person in the Losers Club that Richie hadn’t joked abouthaving sex with. Which – as much as he tried not to think about it – was stupidbecause he was so far up Richie’s ass in love with him that it wasn’t even funny.He shouldn’t want Richie to joke about having sex with Eddie when Eddieactually wanted to have sex with Richie. But he felt singled out in the worstway. Was he that childish to Richie? Too cute cute cute, too much like a kid? Didhe still imagine Eddie walking around in short shorts and a fanny pack? He knewRichie didn’t actually think he was cute – it was just a bit, like a hundredothers he had, but sometimes he wondered if Richie found him unattractive, tothe point that he wouldn’t even joke about sex with Eddie.

What Eddie hated most was how often he thought about it. Hehated that he knew all of the comments Richie had made to their friends overthe years, hated that he knew which of Richie’s comments would make him blushand which would make him jealous. He wanted to just see Richie as a friend,because then it wouldn’t matter and Eddie’s brain could think about normalthings, like their shared freshman algebra course or remembering which hallwaythe tutoring center was on.

“Did you get 9.8?”

Eddie blinked. As he’d been sitting in silence,contemplating Richie and his sex jokes, Richie had actually been doing theirhomework.

“Uh, yeah,” he said, glancing at his scratch paper.

“Did you even do it?” Richie asked.

“Uh, yeah,” Eddie repeated.

Richie snorted. “What have you been doing the last fiveminutes, watching porn?”

Eddie shut his eyes tightly. How could he have forgotten?The only type of sex joke Richie did direct at him. He cleared his throat. “No,I’m not watching porn.”

Even he could tell he sounded oddly defensive. He wasn’tlying! He wasn’t watching porn!

“That…” Richie paused, laughter in his voice. “That didn’tsound convincing, Eds.”

“Don’t call me that.”

“Deflecting?”

“No!” Eddie exclaimed, feeling his cheeks get even hotter.He rested his forehead in his palm.

“Are you sure?” Richie asked, almost sounding… curious. “Becauseyou’re definitely acting like you do when you’re lying. You’re a bad liar andyou should stop trying. Were you seriously watching porn while we’re doing ourhomework?”

“I wasn’t!” Eddie claimed. “You would’ve been able to hearit over the phone!”

Richie paused like he was mulling it over. Eddie pushed hislaptop off his lap, scooting back on his bed until his back was against thewall. When Richie spoke again, he sounded teasing. “So if you weren’t watchingsex then you must have been thinking about it.”

Eddie choked. “I – no! I wasn’t!”

“Oh my god, you were!” Richie crowed. He was laughing andEddie wanted to crawl under his covers and never come back out. “What were youthinkin’ about, then? What gets little Eds going?”

Eddie no longer wanted to crawl under his covers to hide. Hewanted to die. Little Eds. He would die and then he would haunt Richie’s stupidass.

“Why have we never had this conversation before? What kindof best friend am I that I don’t even know what gets my best friend off?”

“The normal kind,” Eddie said, his eyes still squeezed shut.

“No, this is important information. What do you search forwhen you visit PornHub? Do you have a favorite category?”

“Oh my god,” Eddie muttered, wondering if it were possibleto be even more embarrassed than he was right then.

“Do you like just some classic anal? Or are you a kinky guy,going for like, spanking and bondage and shit?”

Eddie was wrong. He could be more embarrassed. Richie continued talking as though Eddie wasn’t melting from the heat that was spreading from his cheeks down his chest.

“Nah, I think you’re a classic kinda guy. I don’t wanna callyou vanilla, Eds, but. Yeah, vanilla. The real question is whether you’re a topor a bottom.”

“I’m going to kill you,” Eddie choked out. He hated the wayhis stomach clenched as Richie spoke. He could still hear the laughter in hisvoice. He’s making fun of you, he reminded his dick.

“No, you’re definitely a bottom,” Richie decided, saying itas though he were absolutely sure. Eddie’s jaw dropped.

“Richie!”

“What? Are you saying you’re not?” Richie asked,incredulous.

“I – I’m not saying anything, asshole!”

Richie laughed. “So that’s a yes, then.”

“This is not a normal conversation,” Eddie stated, sure he’dnever been as red as he was in his life. “Like, is this something you’vethought about? Do you talk to Bill about whether he’s a bottom?”

“No of course not, Bill’s straight,” Richie said, as thoughit were obvious. “But he’d totally be a top.”

Eddie didn’t say anything.

“Is that the kind of guy you’re into, though?” Richie asked,and Eddie had to muffle a gasp. He’s still making fun of you, he told hisdick. “You wanna get fucked by Big Bill?”

“No,” Eddie answered, disgust in his voice. “He’s basicallymy brother, that’s gross.”

“Well if not Bill…” Richie trailed off. Eddie wasn’t surewhere he was going with this, but he didn’t like it. “Maybe Mike’s more yourtype. Or Ben? Do you like ‘em broad and muscular, Eds?”

“Jesus Christ,” Eddie said. “No, I don’t want to fuck them,either.”

“I’m not saying them specifically,” Richie said. “I’m sayingit as a type, you know? So is it? Is that your type? I can picture it.”

Maybe Eddie was already dead, and this was Hell. “Pleasestop picturing me having sex.”

“I – yeah,” Richie conceded, almost sounding embarrassed. Hepicked right up again, though, so Eddie hardly noticed. “Come on, Eds, yougotta help me out here!”

“I really don’t,” Eddie retorted.

“Fine,” Richie said, and Eddie huffed out a breath of relief.“Let’s talk about what I like.”

HE’S STILL MAKING FUN OF YOU, his mind yelled at his dick.

“I mean, I’m mostly a top but I don’t mind bottoming. I likea really nice ass, you know? Pretty eyes and a nice ass, those are myrequirements. I love a real cutie,” Richie said casually.

Eddie’s dick had stopped listening to him entirely. Cutie?Cutie?

“Now you gotta tell me one,” Richie told him. “It’s onlyfair.”

Eddie bit his lip. What was a safe answer? “Tall. I liketall guys.”

“Hmm.” Richie’s voice was curious again. “Muscles?”

“Uh,” Eddie stared up at the ceiling, wondering when thiswas going to end. “No. More – um, you know. Lanky.”

He would swear he heard a sharp intake of breath on theother end of the phone. Oh god. Was that too much? Of course it was, everybodycalled Richie lanky all the time. Beverly was constantly sending him carepackages and telling him to eat more because he was too lanky.

“Do you, uh,” the laughter was gone from Richie’s voice, buthe still sounded conversational. “What about hair? You into blondes? Redheads?”

Eddie knew he couldn’t answer. What was he supposed to say? I like dark hair with curls like a birds nest, Rich, know anyone like that? He turned it around onRichie. “No, it’s your turn. Do you like tall guys?”

Richie took a moment to answer. His tone was serious when he spoke. “No, I like shorter guys.”

Eddie was hardening with each word Richie spoke. Richie was just talking about sex - in a vague way! - and it was already getting him going. This was –this was awful and terrible and wonderful and he wanted it to stop, to end, tokeep going forever.

“Oh,” he answered, wincing at the breathlessness in hisvoice.

“Yeah, uh,” Richie’s voice was lower, Eddie was sure of it.He bit his lip. “I like ‘em smaller, ‘cause then I can – I like to… You know, Ilike – I like a guy under me that I can – uh – like, cover every inch ofhim.”

Eddie pressed the heel of his hand against his dick, bitingback a whine. He could hear the nervousness in Richie’s voice, but there wassomething else, too, something Eddie thought might be lust. He wanted to push,to say something that Richie wouldn’t be able to misinterpret, to make hisfeelings known, but he couldn’t think of what to say. His mouth was dry, hecouldn’t speak even if he knew the right words.

Luckily, Richie had always been the talker. “Do you likethat? ‘Cause you like tall guys, do you like ‘em –“

“Yeah,” Eddie interrupted, knowing how desperate he sounded.He squeezed himself through his shorts. “I like – I want somebody on top of me,you’re right, I’m – I’m a bottom, I want –“

“Fuck,” Richie groaned. Eddie cut himself off with awhimper. Richie sounded even better than he’d imagined. “I seriously don’tthink I’ve been this hard before, in my life.”

“Oh,” Eddie choked out, reaching inside his underwear andsighing when he wrapped his hand around himself. His cock twitched in his handwhen he heard a gasp through the phone. “Are you…”

“Yeah,” Richie answered. “I – fuck, Eds, I want you so bad,I’ve always –“

“Rich,” Eddie whined, squeezing at the base so he wouldn’tcome.

“What about you? You’re touching yourself?”

“Yeah,” he breathed, slowly moving his hand again, looseninghis grip and stroking slowly. “I’m – um, pretending it’s you.”

“Oh my god,” Richie mumbled lowly. “You – you’re thinkin’about my hands?”

“Mhm,” he murmured, beginning to move his hand faster. “Alwaysdo, always wish it was you, always want you to…”

“Want me to what?” Richie asked. Eddie choked on a gasp.

“Touch me,” he answered after a moment.

“Really?” Richie’s voice was awed and breathless.

“Yeah,” he said, thumbing over the head and crying out. “Always,Rich, wanted you so long –“

He listened as Richie began to moan louder, louder, and then a sharp cry before he letout a low sigh. He’d just made his best friend come.

“Oh my god,” Eddie groaned, feeling his stomach tighten ashe stroked himself faster, letting the phone go and holding it to his ear withhis shoulder. He reached down with his free hand and pressed a finger to the skin behindhis balls, coming with a gasp.

He stroked himself through it, hearing Richie’s heavybreathing as he came back down.

“Hold fuck,” Richie muttered when their panting hadsubsided.

“Yeah,” Eddie agreed, glancing down at his now messy shirtwith a frown. Then, unable to help it, he asked, “Did you mean it? When yousaid you – that you always…”

“Of course I did,” he said softly. Eddie opened his mouth toanswer but Richie kept going. “You were my fucking gay awakening, are youkidding?”

“I – what?”

Richie huffed out a laugh. “I’ve been jerking it to you foryears, Eds.”

The blush was back. “Um. Me too.”

“Can’t see why, but I’ll take it,” Richie said. “Not every day somebody hotas fuck admits something like that.”

He blushed even harder. He figured, if Richie kept sayingthings like that, maybe blushing all the time wasn’t so bad after all.

#reddie #reddie fic #my fic #Anonymous

[richiefuckfacetozier]

Chapter 4: Don’t You Want Me

Story: It’s Not My Fault

Title - Don’t You Want Me by The Human League

It can also be found on Archive of our own

For other chapters - | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 |

“Bill, what the fuck am I looking at?” Richie blurted out. The losers had all gathered to check out Bill’s new car. He was so excited that his parents agreed to get him a car, so he called everyone over for a big reveal. Richie and Eddie were hanging out already and arrived first. Bill insisted they wait for the rest of the group to come, so they waited on Stanley, Mike, Ben, and Beverly. The minute the rest arrived, Richie sprinted to the garage dragging a protesting Eddie with him. They opened the garage door to see a big blue van. Richie was disappointed, “It’s a Mom car.”

“Rich,” Eddie began with a don’t be an asshole look, “Didn’t we talk about trying to think before we speak?”

“That only applies to hanging out with you. The rest of the world will take me as I am, you nag” Richie insisted.

“I’m not trying to nag you, just give a little perspective on your Trashmouth.” Eddie huffed.

“Fuck you very much,” Richie smirked at Eddie’s annoyance. “But it does, in fact, look like a Mom car.”

Bill touched his car affectionately then glared at Richie, “Don’t l-l-listen to him, Mama, he’s j-j-just jealous.”

“You named it Mama? It’s definitely a Mom car now.” Mike agreed. Richie turned to Mike for a high five and Mike obliged, perhaps for the first time.

“No! It’s a v-v-van that some women who are mothers d-d-drive. But it is not a car s-s-specifically for mothers.” Bill argued, almost shielding his car as if the insults from Richie and Mike were hurting its feelings.

“Are you a Mom, Big Bill?” Richie looked at him fake seriously.

“You don’t have a car, so you can’t talk Richie. Besides, Bill’s a better Mom to us than any of our parents.” Stanley defended. Stanley always either had a weird comeback or a great dry sarcastic response, there was no in between.

Bill looked at Stanley and smiled confusedly. “Um...Thanks, Stan. I guess?”

All of a sudden, Richie got really excited from the direction the conversation was heading. His eyes lit up under those huge glasses, giving him a bug-eyed expression, “If Bill gets to be the mom of the group then I am the Dad!”

Eddie, who was leaning into Richie’s shoulder absentmindedly, scoffed at this, “What makes you the Dad?”

Richie lowered his lips to Eddie’s ear, “Your Mom called me daddy just the other day when we -”

Mike punched Richie in the arm before he finished, “That’s wrong on so many levels,” Mike laughed.

“RICHIE! Don’t be fucking gross!” Eddie screeched turning around in an attempt at tackling him to the ground. His small hands were hitting every single part of Richie he could reach. The tiny jabs were powerful and calculating. Beverly and Mike were laughing at the exchange, while Ben looked wary of the fighting. Stanley whispered something to Bill that Eddie could not hear, but was sure it had something to do with ‘Get a room’.

Richie, being taller and stronger, got a hold of Eddie’s hands then flipped him around trapping Eddie’s arms to his side and encircling him in a vice grip. “Let me go!” Eddie yelled fighting as best he could but the arms around him were too strong. His feet left the ground for a moment kicking at the air.

“W-W-WATCH OUT FOR MAMA!” Bill cried exasperatedly.

Richie set Eddie down on his feet. “I can tell great Dad jokes,” Richie said obviously and he let go of the struggling boy. “Don’t you know me at all, Eds?!”

“Don’t call me, Eds!” Eddie went to try and hit Richie again but he dodged the blow by grabbing Eddie’s hand and twirling him around. Richie kissed Eddie quickly on the lips. Eddie blushed red, his breath always taken away from Richie’s affection. He anxiously looked out the open garage at the street below and prayed no one saw.

“We shouldn’t kiss in public,” Eddie grumbled but kept holding Richie’s hand reluctantly.

“Not into Public Displays of Affection, Eddie?” Beverly said as she ruffled his hair.

“We just shouldn’t.” He swatted her hand away and flattened out his hair.

Richie rolled his eyes not wanting to fight more, “Anyway, as I was saying, I deserve to be the dad of the group.”

“I don’t know Richie,” Beverly said knowingly as she tapped the edge of her chin. “Last week, when Stan and I went to the market to grab milk for baking, the cashier asked if we would like the milk in a bag and Stan said ‘No, just leave it in the carton.’”

Bill laughed remembering aloud, “And when I t-t-told him I was hungry the other day he said, “Nice to m-m-meet you, Hungry. I’m Stan.”

Ben jumped in, “Oh! Oh! And today when I said, ‘Hey I was thinking...’ before I even finished he responded ‘I thought I smelled something burning.’”

Richie turned to Stanley in surprise, “Stan...are you secretly funny?”

“My hilarity is no secret.” Stanley lowered his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest. “It’s just not as up in everyone’s faces as yours tends to be.”

“There’s my grumpy, Dad.” Richie grinned broadly. Stanley’s lip twitched about to smile at his friend’s comments. Eddie suspected Stanley always feels a little outside of the group and that being considered the dad actually means a lot to him.

“So when are we doing our road trip?” Richie asked.

“Oh my god...I totally forgot about that deal,” Beverly’s eyes shining bright, “You HAVE to take us on a trip, Bill!” She grabs his hands, jumping up and down. He looks at her in alarm but smiles back sweetly.

“We must do this!” Mike added in quickly.

The group had agreed about a year ago that whoever got a car first had to take the losers on a road trip somewhere.

“Well,” Stanley piped in. The group looked at him, “My cousins live in Vermont and they are out of town next weekend. We could go there?”

“Really, Stanley?” Ben said happily, “That would be amazing, there is so much we could do in Vermont!”

Stanley nodded, “They are pretty relaxed people who most likely won’t mind a bunch of teens taking over their place...hopefully.”

“It’s December so we could probably go skiing!” Mike cheered.

Beverly came over and together they jumped up and down saying “Skiing! Skiing! Skiing!” Richie let go of Eddie’s hand to join their merriment. The three were being totally crazy that Bill, Ben, Eddie, and Stanley stood awkwardly before Bill finally said, “YES! Ok! J-j-jesus Christ guys.” They started whooping and hollering. “But first,” Bill began, “Mike and R-r-richie have to apologize to Mama.” Mike looked at the car, “I’m sorry, Mama. You are perfect.” Richie got on his knees dramatically and kissed the front wheel. Eddie and Stan gagged in horror. “Oh, dearest, darlingest, Mama. You deserve better than me in your life. Will you ever forgive my coldness?” “Alright get up, you f-f-freak.” Bill grabbed Richie’s arm and yanked him up. The two boys were almost the same in height, Richie thinner than Bill, who was much broader. “You’re brushing your teeth and washing your hands before touching me again today,” Eddie demanded. “Awwww, don’t want a smooch from me baby?” Richie made kissy faces in Eddie’s direction. The rest of the group braced themselves for an argument to break out. “I’m not a baby. Don’t call me that.” There was nothing Eddie hated more than being called a baby. As if his height and small build weren’t enough to deal with. Being called “cute” or “a baby” was the worst. “You’ll always be a cute baby to me, Eds.” Richie smirked. Eddie could not believe the nerve he had, calling him three things he hates in one sentence. Eddie opened his mouth to curse him out but felt Beverly’s hand clamp his lips together to cut him off. “And....scene!” Beverly gave them a deathly look clearly fed up with the fighting. She removed her hand from Eddie’s mouth, “Ok, Eddie? Let’s just go inside and talk about Vermont?” Eddie shook his head, “You know full well my mom will not let me go,” Eddie turned on his heels and began walking out of the garage. “I’ll talk to you guys later. Nice car, Bill.” As Eddie retreated he heard Mike say, “Ok but Bill hear me out. Can we call the car Big Bill’s Blue, instead of Mama? It’s so much cooler.”

“No Mike,” Bill responded. Eddie couldn’t help but smile at that exchange as he walked away from the house.

He stuffed his hand into his pocket to find the gloves he had worn earlier. Maine in December is freezing and snowy. He put the gloves on quickly and could hear someone’s crunching boots behind him. Richie put his arm around Eddie’s shoulders. Eddie would have pushed him off if his warmth was not so inviting. “I’m mad at you,” Eddie snapped.

“Seems like a normal day of the week situation,” Richie smirked.

“I’m serious Richie. I don’t want to be called cute or baby. It makes me feel like a little kid. I’m fucking 16 years old.” Their steps began to pace together easily. Eddie was hyper-aware of his surroundings. The last thing he needed was for his mom to see them walking so intimately.

“I know I know. I can’t help it when you’re the cutest in every room I’m in and my boyfriend who I want to call baby.” Richie let his arm fall to Eddie’s waist, so he could put his left gloveless hand in Eddie’s jacket pocket.

“Why do you never bring gloves, ya nerd?” Eddie said softer.

“Then I can’t do this!” Richie took his right hand and put it against Eddie’s warm neck. The sudden iciness made him yelp in shock.

“I hate you.” Eddie smacked Richie’s right hand away from him.

“Love you too.” Richie kissed Eddie’s soft cold cheek. His face heated up in that embarrassing way it always did. The red starting at his cheeks, spreading to his hairline and down his neck.

Eddie shoved him so they were walking a small distance away. “No. Kissing. In. Public.” He hissed out.

Richie went silent at this second rejection. Eddie could tell he was trying to take a moment to compose himself and not blurt out like he usually does. It’s a tactic he had been working on for Eddie, but could not get the hang of not speaking his mind. It was not a huge deal because Eddie loved that Richie could say anything with complete confidence. He just wanted Richie to stop getting so many ‘speaking out of turn’ detentions for avoidable offenses.

The moment lasted about one minute before he said, “What’s up with this new rule? No kissing in public. Literally, no one cares.” 

“Yes, they do. It makes people in this small ass town uncomfortable.” Eddie put his hand on his chest tapping it a couple times. This helped when his breath became short and panicky, “And we’ve always had an unspoken rule to not kiss in public. Empty hallways, classrooms, or if it’s dark outside, sure. But...I just...we shouldn’t Ok?” Richie huffed out a sigh, “I am not a mind reader like you are Eddie. I do not observe people and make calculating decisions depending on the company.” 

Eddie frowned staring straight ahead, “You make me sound like a shitty politician.”

“I’m just saying, I don’t care what people think. You shouldn’t either.” Richie branched off from Eddie, heading toward his house.

Eddie stopped in his tracks looking after him, “Aren’t we hanging out at my place the rest of the day?” He calls to Richie’s retreating back. He knew how Richie got during serious discussions with Eddie. He either makes an inappropriate joke or avoids the situation, but Eddie wanted to keep talking this out. He was not saying anything right to Richie today.

Richie turned looking at him with a sad smile, “You have to go and convince your mom to let you go to Vermont. Me being around will not help.” He took out a cigarette from his jacket and started searching his pockets for his lighter.

Eddie hesitated, watching Richie steadily then said, “Ok...right. I’ll try, but I’m not too confident about it. See you tomorrow?” Richie took a drag of his cigarette and blew it out nodding his head contemplating something.

Eddie longs to go up to Richie and kiss him without abandon. The curly haired boy’s cheeks were tinted pink from the cold. His eyes showing every emotion he was feeling without being ashamed. Eddie wished he could be carefree like Richie, but that was asking too much of him. Eddie looked at his feet and kicked the ground lightly.

“See you tomorrow lover boy.” Eddie looked up at Richie’s patient and kind face, ready to jump into his arms. He willed himself to be in control but it was so hard when Richie stared at him with those brown eyes of love.

“Bye...babe.” Eddie tried awkwardly, almost whispering it.

Richie grabbed at his chest, “I think my heart just tried to jump out of my chest!.”

“Shut up, asshole.” And with that, Eddie turned and walked away but not before giving Richie a wave goodbye.

“NO EDDIE!” His mother screamed.

“Ma, it’s only for a weekend. We will be really responsible, I promise.” Eddie knew the conversation was not going to end well. He tried to stay calm because it was the only way to get his mother to hear him, but she was in fine form tonight.

“I am not letting you and your friends go on a trip alone. You are too young. You could get hurt! What would I do if something happened to you? Or what if something happened to me and I can’t get ahold of you?” She had started to cry at this point, which just made Eddie feel horrible. He used to cry when his mom cried, but now that he was older, realized it was a manipulation tactic that she uses. An effective one.

“Maaaaa, please don’t cry. I will go to the grocery store, prepare some meals, I’ll get your medication, I’ll leave notes with the neighbors to check in on you, and I will call morning and evening! All my friends are going, this is really important to me.” Eddie was pleading, an embarrassing sight that he was thankful no one else had to witness.

“So what? You go away for the weekend? What if you decide to never come back to me?” She wailed.

He heaved out a big sigh, “Ma, listen, I am coming back. it’s just a couple days. And besides, this is good practice. What about when I go off to college?”

She sniffed indignantly, “You can go to a college nearby and come home after classes, it’ll be like nothing is different.”

Eddie gaped at her in bewilderment. He was wracking his brain for how to approach this respectfully and with dignity but the only thing that came out was, “No, I absolutely will not!” He wanted to add a fuck in there but caught himself before a disaster happened. “I plan to get out of this town as soon and as fast as possible.”

“Eddie, HOW CAN YOU LEAVE ME?!” His mother’s tears were rolling freely down her puffy face. It was a horrible sight.

“Ma, I’m going on the trip to Vermont. I’m not a baby anymore. You need to realize that.” Eddie went up the stairs toward his room. He wrenched open his door quickly and was going to slam it, but thought better of it closing the door normal. He closed his eyes, head leaning against the door. After composing himself, he turned to get ready for bed and saw someone on his bed.

He let out a silent scream because he was in so much shock nothing could even come out. Heart racing, he realized it was Richie.

“I love it when I can take your breath away, Eddie.” Richie grinned broadly.

Eddie quickly locked his door. “How did you get in here?” He asked horrified.

Richie shrugged, “You leave your window unlocked.”

“I live on the second story!” Eddie racked his hands through his hair willing himself not to pull it out from frustration.

Richie watched Eddie with a weird expression as if he was anxious about something. He sat cross-legged on the bed, leaning against the wall casually. His face was flushed and his eyes were really tired, almost like he aged in just the few hours they had been apart. Richie cleared his throat, “Easier climbing in then climbing out, trust me.”

Eddie nodded then bounded over to his closet. He took a step in to grab an extra blanket and pillow. “Eddie no! Don’t go back into the closet! Who will I make out with then?!” Richie yelled dramatically. “I guess Mike is probably my backup.”

Eddie shushed him, “Richie! Shut up. Mom will hear you. Also, Mike would never kiss your ugly face.”

“I am a fucking catch, don’t pretend otherwise.” Richie bragged, “And no she won’t. I’ve slept over many times and Mrs. K can’t hear a thing when the tv is on.” They went silent to listen, and sure enough, the only sound that could be heard was the tv blasting from the living room.

Eddie tossed the blanket to him and put the pillow next to his own. Richie wrapped himself in the blanket so the only thing that could be seen was his face. “Oh, my stars! Do I get to sleep in the same bed as the great Mister Kaspbrak?” His girly southern girl was getting a little better.

Eddie rolled his eyes, “Only if you want too.”

“I get to be little spooooooon!!!” Richie sang. Eddie was grateful for Richie’s ability to make light of any tension. “I feel so scandalous,” Richie wiggled his eyebrows in what he probably thought was a sexy way. Eddie would never tell him that it did look adorably hilarious.

“I’m going to brush my teeth and wash my face. Do you need a toothbrush?” Eddie walked over to his desk to see if he had extra toiletries.

“Nah, I’ll just use yours baby boy.” Richie wiggled his eyebrows again.

Eddie gagged at the thought, “You absolutely will not.”

“That’s not what your mom said when I-“

Eddie unlocked and opened his door quickly so he didn’t have to hear the terrible Mom joke.

He went across to the bathroom and began his evening ritual. He washed his face, put on lotion, then began brushing his teeth for 5 minutes. He took a look at his watch trying to stay focused on brushing every inch of his teeth but kept thinking about Richie sleeping in the same bed as him. They’ve shared beds before, up until 13 then Richie would take the floor and Eddie the bed. Even at Richie’s place, he always wanted Eddie to take the bed so he would feel comfortable. Now that they were dating, it occurred to Eddie they have not slept over at each other’s places in a while. It will be fine. It’s just Richie. Eddie thought, but he tapped his chest to keep the panic down.

When he went back into his room, firmly locking the door behind him, he looked over at Richie. The boy had taken his glasses off and was laying down with his eyes closed. He was not breathing heavily or snoring, which meant he was resting his eyes. His body was still cocooned in the blanket but his head was free. His dark curls were sprawled on Eddie’s pillow. Eddie swore Richie looked more like a movie star than a regular teen. Since he was not cracking jokes or making weird faces, he had a blissful expression. Eddie admired his long dark eyelashes. It was crazy to think he was ever not infatuated with this boy.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts. Focus Eddie. He thought while going to his closet to grab pajamas and began stripping off his clothes to change.

“Nice undies,” Richie’s amused voice came from the bed.

Eddie blushed furiously, “Your sister thought so too.” To which Richie laughed.

“Not that I actually can see them. You’re more like a blurry blob from this distance.” Richie mused. “The most beautiful blob I know.”

“You flatter me,” Eddie chuckled putting on a baggy sweatshirt and pajama shorts. He came over to the bed. Richie got up so Eddie could turn down the sheets for them. Richie snuggled in and Eddie climbed in facing him.

He brought his hand to Richie’s face lightly caressing his cheek. Richie let out a contented breathe that was toothpaste minty fresh. He closed his eyes again. Eddie waited a moment then asked, “Do you want to talk about today?”

“Today was just like any day,” Richie said nonchalantly. “My boyfriend won’t be intimate with me in public because apparently, this small town is fucking uncomfortable with it.”

Eddie tried not to get offended at the unnaturally flippant tone, “Richie, I just don’t want…”

He continued speaking over Eddie keeping his eyes firmly shut, “So to prove him wrong, that in fact, no one gives a shit, I came out to my parents.” The gravity of this statement made Eddie’s heart pound and his ears ring a little. The hand he had on Richie’s face frozen.

“How did they…”

“They took it pretty horrible. Dad would not look at or speak to me and his face was disgusted. My drunk ass mother went on a long tirade about how if she had a daughter this would not be an issue. She wouldn’t have to deal with a faggot son.” Richie opened his eyes to stare at nothing in particular then added lamely, “As if girls aren’t gay too sometimes, that’s really not fair to the Lesbians.”

Richie’s expression was so heartbreakingly sad that Eddie thought the boy would cry. Instead, it was Eddie who started to tear up. The combination of the fight with his mom and now finding out his actions led to his best friend being hurt, it was too much.

Eddie went to retract his hand from Richie’s face. How could he even want to be near me? But as his hand left, Richie grabbed it and planted it back.

Tears were falling heavily now as he said, “I’m so s-sorry, Rich. It’s all my…”

“Shut up. It’s not your fault.” Richie said furiously. He took his hands and locked them behind Eddie’s back to pull him closer. “Why are you crying? I’m the one who was called a fag today. By the way, why are cigarettes and gays called fags? They have nothing to do with each other.” Richie frowned thinking for a moment. Eddie took a shaky breath trying to stop his tears from becoming sobs. Then Richie added, “I want to be called something cool, like a vampire.” Richie made a ridiculous Dracula face: revealing his perfect teeth and mimicked going for Eddie’s throat.

Eddie gave a sobbing half-laugh pushing his face away. Then tried to bring them back to the situation at hand, “I just could not say the right words to you today. I saw the look on your face earlier and should have made us talk more before you went home.” He watched Richie press his lips to Eddie’s palm lightly. “I wish we could kiss in public, but until I get the courage to tell my mom. We just can’t.” Eddie tried to get his breathing under control. Richie began rubbing small circles through the fabric of the sweatshirt. In felt relaxing and sweet. “You are so carefree and the bravest person I know. I cannot believe you were able to just tell them like that.”

“You are plenty brave too. It took a lot of courage to stand up to your mom like you did,” Richie said quietly.

“Heard that did you?” Eddie chuckled waterily. He brought his head closer so their foreheads touched.

“I did. It was hot hearing you be so strong.” Richie kissed Eddie’s cheek. Eddie smiled at being called ‘hot’, it was a nice change from ‘cute’. Then Richie blurted out, “Can we stop feeling sorry for ourselves and fool around now?”

Eddie barked out a laugh, “We have school tomorrow, we should sleep.” Richie’s hands were starting to do distracting things as he ran them slowly up and down Eddie’s sides over the sweater.

Eddie gently ran his hands through Richie’s black curly hair, aware as he did that Richie was watching him through half-lidded eyes. It was so unusual to look at him without his glasses. He had big eyes already, but the lack of magnification was foreign. Those beautiful golden brown eyes getting darker as Eddie reached behind to keep both hands around the back of his neck.

“Fuck it. You’re right. I hate feeling sorry for myself.” Eddie leaned forward and touched Richie’s lips—not a kiss right away, just a brush of lips against each other. It was enough, Eddie felt Richie’s pulse speed up, and he leaned forward, trying to capture Eddie’s mouth with his.

Richie shifted to hover above Eddie, an intimate position they had never done before. Richie tending to be bolder than Eddie with everything. Richie’s hands slid around Eddie’s waist, up under his sweater. Eddie’s breath hitched a little at the cold hands on his back, but he did not pull away. He always loved the way Richie held him. Careful, but not too gentle, not so gentle that Eddie ever felt Richie was more in control than he was. Eddie liked that about their relationship, liked the way his heart hammered uncontrollably.

Richie’s hand went to Eddie’s heart, “Your heart’s beating so fast,” Richie whispered.

“It always does when you’re around,” Eddie said bringing their lips back frantically in case Richie was about to make fun of him.

He dug his fingers into Richie’s shoulders, into the fabric of his T-shirt, feeling the resistance of the muscles underneath, and kissed him with all the desperation of the day.

He took his hands off Richie’s shoulders, gripping the front of Richie’s shirt, and pulled him against his body. He let Eddie do it with no resistance, folding his body against Eddie’s until they were pressed together everywhere—chests, hips, legs—like puzzle pieces. His hands slid back down to Eddie’s waist and he kissed him, long and lingering, making Eddie shudder.

Their hearts were slamming together through the layers of fabric that divided them. Eddie was drowning in it, in the sensation of Richie kissing him; of letting his hands slide freely over his skin.

Eddie hesitantly slid his shaking hands under the hem of Richie’s shirt, and let his fingers slowly explore what was underneath: the tight, hot skin over his ribs, the angle of his hipbones above the waistband of his pajama pants. This was uncharted territory for him, but it seemed to be driving Richie crazy. He was moaning softly against his mouth, kissing Eddie harder and harder, as if it would never be enough.

Then Richie broke contact and rolled over. They were both panting. One of Richie’s hands had not left Eddie’s waist and the touch was enough to make Eddie explode inside.

“Why…” Eddie said between a big breath, “Did you stop?” He was suddenly feeling very self-conscious. Thinking that maybe he did something wrong. He could feel his flushed face redden even worse.

“I didn’t want to get carried away,” Richie said chuckling. “You get me hot and bothered, Eds.”

Eddie smiled, “How are you the more sensible person when we make out?” They both laughed. Eddie took deep breaths to let his face return to a normal shade. Richie removed the hand from Eddie’s hip and turned to his side. He reached over and grabbed Eddie’s hand to bring it around his waist.

Eddie intertwined their fingers as he snuggled against Richie from behind. “You weren’t kidding that you wanted to be the little spoon?”

“I never kid around about s-s-spooning.” Richie yawned through the last word. Eddie squeezed his boyfriend’s hand as he closed his eyes. It did not take long to drift into sleep.

#TheTheatregal Reddie Fanfiction #Eddie Kaspbrak #richie tozier #mike hanlon #ben hanscom #bill denbrough #beverly marsh #stanley uris #reddie #it 2017 #fanfic #it fanfiction #cursing #kissing #gay #i am a loser #the losers club #It's Not My Fault #Shannon writes

[gillianfoster]

thanks for being the best idea beta jameothy

As much as they did love to all hang out together, there were times parts of the Losers Club had broken off on their own, and Eddie tended to find himself, at those times, hanging out with Richie. The two of them just ended up together when no one else could hang out. Just like Eddie had known that when Bev was there she and Bill had broken off and hung out on their own - only, well. Not quite like that. Maybe.

The point was that Richie’s parents, shitty as they were, didn’t really care if Eddie just sort of showed up and didn’t leave. He couldn’t be gone from home too long, but especially after that summer, the summer of ’89, he just needed a night out of the house sometimes and he would go to Richie’s. He and Richie had gone to the arcade sometimes (not that Eddie would ever touch an arcade machine without at least several wet wipes involved), or to the theater, so they’d hung out without everyone else. Going to Richie’s just made sense. Mostly.

Anyways, Bill’s parents were better and worse after everything had happened with Georgie, and Stan was always scared his dad would throw a fit, whether he would or not, but Eddie was always welcome at Richie’s, whenever. One time he’d woken up in the middle of the night and ridden his bike over at 3 in the morning and Richie had just still been up reading comics.

Sometimes they’d just sit around in the quiet, but eventually they started watching movies. Richie had a tv in his room, and he’d taken his family’s VCR and they hadn’t noticed, so he and Eddie both would buy tapes or rent them and watch them whenever they hung out. At first Eddie had always let Richie pick, stupid comedies or his other favorites like Ghostbusters, but eventually Eddie started making suggestions, too, and Richie let him.

Eddie was the reason Richie had seen The Breakfast Club and Pretty in Pink more than once - and he was the reason they’d ever watched Sixteen Candles.

He wasn’t sure if anyone else in the group had watched it or not, so when Richie showed up at school on his sixteenth birthday and said, “They fucking forgot my birthday,” Eddie thought it might be a joke just for him, but he couldn’t be certain.

“Are your grandparents coming by later with Long Duk Dong, too?”

Richie cracked a smile at that, and Eddie smiled back - only then Richie got that look in his eye that Eddie always came to regret. “Hardly need my grandparents to come by for Long Dong to be in the house, do I?”

Stan groaned, and Bill sighed, while Ben smiled a little.

Eddie just said, “Jesus, Rich, don’t get started, I’m trying so hard to be nice to you on your birthday.” Then he frowned. “Were you being serious, though?”

“Me? Serious? No, of course not, just havin’ a good time, Eds.”

“God, don’t call me that.”

Richie slung an arm around Eddie as they all walked into school, and Ben started talking about something he’d been working on for history. Eddie shot Richie another questioning glance, because he could tell something was off, but he figured he could ask about it later.

Later didn’t come until lunch, but when it did, Eddie finally found he had a moment alone with Richie.

“Rich... Were you just referencing the movie when you came in this morning?”

“Uh, when I what?”

Eddie sighed and nudged Richie’s arm. “When you came in this morning, you said they forgot your birthday. Was there really a they?”

He watched Richie grimace, and he knew immediately he was right. Eddie almost regretted bringing it up, suddenly. “Oh. Yeah. Just... my parents. I’m actually living fucking Sixteen Candles, except without the excuse of my sister’s wedding, but. It’s no big deal.”

“Your sister didn’t tell you we’re getting married tomorrow?”

It was lame, taking a page out of Richie’s book and just cracking a joke, but it got Richie to smile, and that was all that mattered to Eddie.

“Yeah, don’t worry, Eds, your mom and I will be right there in the front row.”

“Alright, chill out with the mom jokes and nicknames, I can only ignore so much for the sake of birthday kindness. But... Look, we’ll do stuff with all the losers tonight, who cares about your parents?”

“Yeah... yeah. You’re right.” Richie looked distant for a second, then shook himself. “You think Jake Ryan’ll show up?”

Eddie flushed a little and laughed, but he knew it sounded awkward, or possibly slightly hysterical. Richie seemed to have less and less issue making jokes like that. While he’d always made weird flirtatious and sexual jokes about girls -  since he was like 12 - Richie had recently decided that he was free to include flirty jokes about guys in his repertoire, too. Eddie found that he almost had a heart attack every time it happened. If he were younger, his reaction might have even made him reach for his inhaler, but ever since he’d thrown away all his meds when Greta Keene told them they were bullshit, he didn’t use any of them anymore.

The thing was, Eddie knew why he reacted that way - he just didn’t really want to think about it. He’d gotten pretty good at putting it off.

Fortunately, they got their food and got seated with everyone before Eddie had managed to stop laughing, so he didn’t have to say anything.

Jake Ryan jokes aside, Eddie still spent the rest of lunch distracted. He had already been planning some things for Richie’s birthday - but now he felt the need to make sure it was perfect. He’d need to talk to Bill at some point to really plan anything, and he’d have to run some other errands, too, to put some extra touches on the rest of plans. Still. If it could cheer Richie up, make him forget his shitty parents and really grin again, it would all be worth it.

To do everything he needed to do, really, he’d have to skip out on class for most of the rest of the day. He never did that without Richie or the other losers egging him on.

There was a first time for everything after all.

The first thing he did after lunch was to catch up with Bill before he got into class.

“Bill, wait. I had some ideas for Richie’s birthday tonight, but I need your help. Can you help?”

“Well, sh-sure. B-but what is it?”

“Right. I know we were all going to the quarry, but I think there’s other stuff we could do instead. Ask Ben to get a projector if he can - he might be able to borrow one from the library. I’ll get most of the other things - I need you to go to the barrens after school, take everyone else, too. Make it look nice, find a concrete wall or something. Bring blankets, too, for all of us to sit on. I’ll leave all the stuff there, I’ll take Richie so you have some time to get everything set up. And I might get you some extra help, too.”

“E-extra help?”

“Can you do it?”

“Yeah, E-Eddie, o-of course. I-is there anything else?”

“No, just. Try and make things look nice, put the film on the projector. Everything will be waiting for you at the barrens. Just go to class, I’ll see you later.”

“Y-you’re not c-coming?”

“Too much to do! Sorry, bye!”

The next was to sneak off to the school payphone. It was absolutely disgusting, but Eddie was determined, and he knew if his mom caught him at home and using the phone instead of at school, he’d end up dead. He took some paper towels from the bathroom and wiped the phone off before he used it to call Bev’s number in Portland.

He didn’t think she’d be home, but apparently she’d been skipping school, too.

“Bev?”

“Eddie?”

“Oh, good, thank god. Okay, so. Hi! How are you?”

“Eddie, are you calling me at school?”

“I. Yes. Yes, that’s possible. You don’t wanna tell me how you are?”

“I’m fine, Eddie. Is everything okay?”

“Oh! Oh, yeah, I mean. Nothing’s really wrong or anything, just. It’s Richie’s birthday today.”

“Oh yeah! Tell him happy birthday from me!”

“Well actually... Bev, you can drive, right?”

“...Eddie are you really asking me to drive back to Derry for Richie Tozier’s birthday?”

“Bev, look. I know it’s-“

Bev cut him off immediately. “Of course I will.”

“...Really?”

“Eddie, Richie’s one of my best friends. And I mean, honestly, I’d thought about it anyways, but I’m assuming there’s a reason you wanted me to, isn’t there?”

Eddie sighed. “His parents forgot his fucking birthday, Beverly. My mom’s never been party planner of the year-”

“Yeah, neither was my dad, but. Yeah. I get it. I’ll drive up. It’ll take a few hours - when are you guys getting together?”

“Well, I had this idea... Just go to the barrens when you get here, Bill and everyone will probably still be setting up. They can explain everything. I’ll see you when Richie and I get there.”

“Oh, Richie and I, huh?”

Eddie blushed. Bev had always seemed to know more about himself than he did, in particular ways. “Bev, oh my god, not now.”

She laughed through the phone, and Eddie smiled in spite of himself, glad to hear her again - as always, he hadn’t even realized how much he missed her.

“See you, Eddie.”

“Wait, one more thing! Bring your stereo, can you?”

“Yeah, of course. I’ll bring that, too. See you.”

“See you.”

He hung up the phone and then wiped off his hands and the phone again. By this point, he’d found that the only way to get through anything like that was to distract himself as quickly as possible. He could swim in the quarry and not think about it because he was with his friends, and that was more important - in this case, Richie was more important. He’d be happy to see Bev - they’d gotten close before she left, always smoking cigarettes together and talking. Eddie didn’t think Richie felt the way about Bev that Bill and Ben did, but he knew they were good friends, and that Richie would appreciate her being there.

With that all settled, Eddie got his things and managed to sneak his way out of the school - not that any of the adults in the school particularly cared. Not in Derry.

His errands began with sneaking into his own room at home to get his money, and a blanket. He’d been right that his mom would be home, so he had also been right to use the phone at school - he never could have gotten to the phone in the house.

With his savings all gathered up, he proceeded on the rest of his afternoon errands. He picked up Richie’s cake from the bakery - all the losers had pitched in on ordering it. He got some more food from the store, some battery powered lights to hang up in the trees, and some string and tape to help hang them up. He went to the music store and got some of Richie’s favorite music - Eddie had made Richie a mixtape for his birthday, because they always exchanged mixtapes for holidays, but he didn’t want to play that mixtape in front of everyone. The very thought of that made him a little flushed.

The last step was the most important - he had to go to the Capitol and see if he could get a copy of a movie. He knew the Capitol kept some of their reels, and they would show older movies, so if he could figure out who was the best one to ask, it was possible he could get a reel for his big plan.

The only person he knew to ask, really, was Foxy - which was what they all called the theater manager. Not to his face, but it was mostly an affectionate nickname.

Eddie snuck around the theater and found Foxy smoking in the alleyway, taking a break - timing was apparently on his side.

“Mr. Foxworth?”

The old man squinted at Eddie, and then snubbed his cigarette out on the wall beside him. “Kaspbrak. You here with that Tozier kid?”

“No. No, Richie isn’t with me. Neither is anyone else. I wanted to ask a favor.”

Foxy narrowed his eyes even further, which hadn’t seemed possible, and then hummed. “Alright. What is it?”

“Do you still have Ghostbusters on reel? And if so would it. Be possible for me to borrow it? Just for tonight.”

“We’re not the damn video rental. Get lost.”

“What if. What if I pay for it?”

The old man blinked at him. “How much?”

Eddie had about fifty dollars in savings that he’d decided he could spare. He offered Foxy thirty of it.

He glanced at the money, then back up at Eddie. “Fine. Give me the money, you can do whatever the hell you want with it.”

Eddie handed over the thirty dollars, and Foxy went back into the theater. Eddie hovered awkwardly in the alleyway, hoping that was what he was expected to do, and he was pleasantly surprised when Foxy actually came back out with the reel tucked under his arm. He passed it over to Eddie, and the title on the front told Eddie that he hopefully had the right one.

“Bring it back if you want - I don’t think anybody’ll miss it, though.”

Recognizing his luck, Eddie ran off with the reel before Foxy could change his mind. Difficult as it was, Eddie held the reel and all his other materials wrapped in a blanket on his lap as he rode his bike to the barrens. He did it without falling, and left everything somewhere he thought Bill could find it. He left a note, too, with some instructions for the film reel, and the lights, the food and the music.

After all that was done, he rode back to school on his bike, and made it just before classes let out. He waited by the bike rack and was glad to see that Bill was the first one out.

“Bill, thank god. Okay. Everything’s waiting at the barrens, by the creek, I think you can find it. Bev’s going to meet you there.”

“B-bev’s coming?”

“Yes, look. Get everyone together, head down there - I’m gonna take Richie to the arcade, but go ahead and find them, tell Richie you have a project to work on or something and you’ll meet him down there.”

Bill just nodded, and ducked back into the school. After a few minutes, Richie came out.

“Eddie my boy, where’s everybody else?”

Richie hadn’t even seen them. Eddie smiled. “Bill, Stan, and Ben had something they had to work on - something about that history project Ben was talking about. They’re gonna meet us at the quarry later, but I thought we could go to the arcade first.”

“The arcade? On my birthday? Does that mean you’ll actually play with me?”

“We’ll see.” Eddie got on his bike, and Richie followed suit, and they smiled at each other as they rode off to the Capitol.

[latinalesbi]

is that possible to have that pic from Stef's phone ? Where is the pic coming from ? I know I'm asking weird questions but I remember Stef and Lena were in that position one day before Stef had to go somewhere with Jenna (and they met Monte in that lesbian place).

Yeah it was the same day she went with Jenna. There’s no way she would have that pic without security camera. So we came up with a twitter theory that Mariana sneaks around taking pics of her moms because she ships them so much!

Anonymous said:                                                                     

We need to have more Stef and Lena in season 5. Did the writers say anything about them yet ?

Anonymous said:                                                                      what annoys me the most is that they always talk about how Lena and Stef are the core of the show and how much they love them etc but don't show it. How do they explain the lack of kisses? I hope they read all the responses on twitter and change something in season 5. I need more Momma love            

Actually, nope. None of the interviews that Peter gave talked about them at all. Here’s a stock answer Joanna gave today:

More challenges, more love, deeper commitment...

She seemed to think that Stef and Lena only kissing once a season was “realistic”

I do agree with this, my wife and I try to b more like Stef&Lena!  Maybe I'm making it too real & should be more aspirational!

I guess in her world of marriage, people don’t kiss. I’d like to reassure young lesbians that I have been married for almost 9 years, together for almost 12 and today we have kissed about 4 times.

Anonymous said:                                                                      Hopefully in season 5. We get to see Callie grow and stop doing stupid things. She's much more than that. Does she not think she's worth it ? Would she care if she died ? It doesn't seem like it. Callie doesn't need jail she needs help but they don't see it like that. Would you say she's mentally unstable ?             

Honestly, like I don’t care about Callie or what motivates her at this point.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

I havent written ff in such a long time but I need a new project. If I wrote some stef and Lena stuff would you read it? If so, if you and your followers wanna give me some prompts that would be super helpful. (anon as my blog is not fandom related)             

Oh yes, this is a good idea! I love this, guys send me prompts and I’ll post them for this anon. I’d like some early days fic, meeting the parents, something funny.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

So one thing we got from the vow renewal: Lena is totally a scratcher! Did you see her digging her nails in Stefs back?!?

Hell yes she is! God bless Lena.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

Do you think that one day the Fosters writers will say well maybe our ratings suck because their stories suck? Oh well at least we have Adams Foster fanfic still. Do the writers feel salty that some people on ff write better for S&L than them? But then again, some of the shittiest storylines this season can be matched to the very worst of ff fanfic, so maybe they pluck stories from that? End rant! Sorry             

Sadly for Freeform, their ratings don’t “suck.” I mean ep 419 was the worst ever, but 420 picked it up. I have read the shittiest Stef/Callie fanfic where Callie needs to be rescued but I tell you, nothing was as bad as SVU Mission Bay. Ugh, horrible.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

Wow, did you read Lucy Hallowell's recap of the Fosters' finale for Autostraddle.   If you all have not, go read it, it is very interesting in the last part what she saids.             

As my middle schoolers would say, savage. Best part, I know they read it, between her and vulture I hope they heard because the show is insufferable in its current state. It’s something I put up with.

Anonymous said:                                                                    

 Do you have the links to where Teri was on Mark in the morning

There are 2, The earlier one is more interesting, though both are intolerable because of Mark.

one and two.

Anonymous said:                                                                      "Mariana who self invited her bio daddy to a house she doesn’t pay a single bill for, that Mariana? Yeah that Mariana is unlikable."  I agree with what you said.  But I blame the parents, they can say no. No way my parents, pretty sure other parents also, would have given their 16 year old kid permission to have sex in their room/house.  The reason given (for safety, since they will anyway & jesus' tbi, blah, blah) is bs. Season 5 hope there are better parenting decisions, much better stories.  

Well they can’t have Stef and Lena come off as mean, people hit the roof, and all these teens think Robert and Gabe walk on water because” men. And god forbid the lesbians go off against men.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

Do you think that The Writers don't know that nobody cares about Callie's storyline ? I mean maybe they don't care but no wonder why people are saying they won't watch the show anymore.

I do think they think we are all hanging on pins and needles over her. We all knew she was going to be trafficked. We all knew it, everyone knows she’s not going to jail. This is all very stupid.

Anonymous said:                                                                     

So your saying Stef for Callie into this mess with the pimp. Do you think we will see Lena angry at Stef ? Or she might get blamed by one of her teens.             

Yes, Stef should not have gotten her involved or let her give her the telephone and whatever else. It made her look like a good cop but she was a bad mother. Callie is not to be encouraged in this manner. Lena should be angry at Stef over this.

#joanna johnson #jj #mark in the morning #Anonymous

[tisfan]

Will You Steal My Valentine

Chapter One: All I Buy For Christmas Chapter Two: Renting in The New Year

Chapter Three

“What do you mean, you don’t know?” Tony asked, his voice filled with -- disappointment? Dismayed astonishment? Offense on Ana’s behalf -- Bucky wasn’t sure. He was only grateful that it was a phone conversation because he didn’t think he was, at this particular point in his life, prepared to face to expression Tony was probably wearing that went along with it. 

How had this happened? Bucky threw up his mental hands. He had no idea; he was dating a guy six years younger than himself and under normal circumstances, he should have been mildly amused by every twinge of emotional reaction that Tony had. And boy, did Tony bring the drama, sometimes. Bucky should have been the adult in this relationship, tolerant and patient, knowing that nothing was ever as overly important as Tony was making it out to be. 

Instead, Bucky found himself turned upside down and tossed around by Tony’s emotional weather. Worse, Bucky was enthralled by it; he was so damned happy whenever Tony was around, and when Tony was happy that he found himself putting ridiculous amounts of effort into Tony’s well-being. Sometimes, it was like having a new puppy. 

“Just what I said, kitten,” Bucky said, laying back on his bed and staring up at the ceiling. 

“She sent you a whole box,” Tony pointed out. 

“Yeah, and then she wrote ‘fragile, cookies’ on the side of the box,” Bucky said. 

“And?” 

“Have you met my sister?”

(read more line here for people on mobile... you can also read at A03)

“You mean the red-headed whirlwind that’s nearly killed me four times already? Of course I’ve met Natasha,” Tony said. 

“Then why are you asking me if I liked the cookies? I didn’t get any of them.” Bucky puffed air hard enough to ruffle his hair. People were always so weird about that -- like, didn’t they know better? You didn’t leave sugar around ballerinas. Ever. 

Tash could sometimes be counted on to leave one of thing, though, just enough so that she didn’t have to replace the box, or the 12-pack of Coke, or whatever. She was, Bucky would admit, most of the time the ideal roommate. She was gone at least seven months out of the year, she never left her dirty dishes out -- of course, Tash had grown up in the same house as he had, infested with roaches even at the best of times, and leaving food out was just not a thing you did -- and she paid all her bills on time. 

For that, Bucky was willing to put up with the fact that she ate everything that wasn’t nailed down, pried up things that were, and complain that she was still hungry. And, back when their parents were still alive, their mom had run Tash ragged on diet after diet, pinching her waist to see if Tash had “gained an inch” and constantly compared her to every other slender girl in the troupe. Tash had gone through two trips to the ER over it, once for prolonged bulimia, and another time for severe rash that had turned out to be a symptom from malnutrition. If what it took for Tash to be over that was to binge eat cookies once in a while, Bucky wasn’t going to say much to her. 

Not seriously, at any rate. He complained. Of course he did, he was her brother, it was his job to complain. But if he actually sat her down and had a conversation about her eating habits? Yeah, that could be real bad; she’d hear in between the lines, everything he wasn’t saying and didn’t mean about how fat she was and how no one would ever want her and… yeah, not happening. 

Not that he could really explain that to Tony; Tash’s eating disorder was between her, Bucky, and her troupe leader (better than the last leader, this one encouraged the ballerinas to fucking eat all ready). “Tash ate them all,” Bucky said, lame. “I’m guessing she thought they were good.” 

“Ana’s going to be disappointed,” Tony said. “She made those cookies for you.” 

“I’ll get Tash to autograph one of her publicity photos for Ana,” Bucky suggested, “and she’ll be so excited by that, she’ll completely forget that my sister is a horrible pest and eats all my food.” 

“This is a habit of hers, I’m guessing?” 

Bucky shrugged. “She burns a lot of calories, doing dance,” he said. “If I ate half as much as she does, I’d have to run a 5k daily. So, really, she probably spared me the effort of running, which I hate doing in the winter.” 

Tony hummed thoughtfully. “I’m not going to tell Ana you didn’t get any of her cookies,” he said, finally. “Look, I have a few left, why don’t you come over and I’ll make sure you get one?” 

Bucky laughed. “I’m almost tempted to suggest you and my sister are conspiring against me.” 

“What, to get you into my bedroom?” 

“Something like that,” Bucky said. Not that he didn’t want to, god… but Tash had been home for the last several weeks and Tony shared a room with another student (and one who seemed a bit homophobic, honestly) and privacy just wasn’t a thing they’d had. 

“If you’re not gonna come over for a bribe, I guess begging wouldn’t help any,” Tony said. 

Jesus Christ. Bucky almost fell out of his own bed, the way Tony’s voice affected him, that soft, knowing lilt and how was that possible? This was… god, you have it bad, soldier. 

Bucky rolled his head back; red numbers glittered at him. It was three-thirty, he had work at eight and he’d need to shower and change clothes, although he supposed he could bring a gym bag with him and use the dorm-showers over at campus. Fifteen minutes to get there, another twenty minutes to find a place to stow his bike, since he didn’t have a campus parking sticker, and he’d have to leave at seven, if he was going to get to work on time. 

“Order us some delivery,” Bucky said, “and I’ll be at your door in about an hour.” 

Bucky hung up the phone while Tony was still cackling with glee, fingercombed his hair, gave that up as a bad job and just scraped it back into a messy bun. He left Tash a twenty on the counter and a note, “Order a pizza. Gone to Tony’s. I know it was my turn to cook. LY, B” 

They always left each other notes; their parents had died in a carbon monoxide accident when Tash was still in high school. Bucky’d been in the Army, Tash was doing a limited tour over Easter vacation with the dance troupe, and neither of them had known anything about it until Tash came home a week later. 

Notes. And calls. Some of Bucky’s friends had given him shit about how careful he was to make sure his sister knew where he was at all times. Or how much he worried about it if she had gone somewhere and didn’t text him. Didn’t matter. Tash was all he had left. 

Bucky packed clothes and a toiletries bag into the pod on the back of his motorcycle. It was a little cold for a ride, but taking the bike meant he could stay longer instead of having to walk from campus to the nearest bus station. He pulled on all the leather, which would help keep him warm, although in the spring and summer he tended to play fast and loose with safety, something that would surely end with an epic scar someday. 

Helmet mashed over his already terrible hair, he climbed on and headed out to the college. 

What was it with women who stole his food? 

Bucky stared at the empty takeout box, then up at the girl in Tony’s room. She was adorable, pixie-haircut and wide, green eyes and clothes so fashionable they looked like they belonged on a runway. Exactly the sort of girl that Bucky had thought Tony should date, not some ex-military guy with the fashion sense of an armadillo. 

“Janet, this is Bucky,” Tony said, apologetically. “Jan, Bucky.” 

“Oh, my god, you’re Bucky? Of course you are, I’m just so excited to meet you, Tony talks about you all the time and I’ve heard so many good things, and I know that I ate your general tso’s chicken and I’m so sorry, but I ran into the delivery guy on his way up the stairs and I was coming over to talk to Tony about some personal stuff and you know, we have class together and I needed to look over my notes with him anyway, and there’s this thing going on in a few weeks and I just had to ask him what he thought of my costume idea, and I noticed he’d ordered enough for two, and I just really didn’t think that he was going to have company over, sometimes he orders extra just so he doesn’t have to think about it the next day, and so I was already helping myself by the time we got to the door and I’m so so sorry --” 

“Holy shit, Tony, how does this woman even breathe?” 

“Kinda like a whale, maybe. I think she’s got a blowhole in the top of her head,” Tony said. 

“God, you’re terrible and I don’t know why I put up with you, Tony Stark, really, I just do not,” Jan said, smacking Tony over the head a few times and forcing Tony to shield his face before she knocked his ridiculous yellow sunglasses right off his head. 

“Because I’m the only one who puts up with you? Stop hitting me, you little wasp,” Tony said, ducking around behind Bucky. “You need to save me, now.” 

“Who’s gonna save me?” Bucky turned around in a circle, forcing Tony to run around him to keep away from Janet. Finally, he took a step to the side and Janet walked right into him, stumbled back a step, and rubbed her nose. 

“Ow.” 

“C’mere, you,” Bucky said, dragging Tony in for a kiss. Janet squealed, bounced on her toes and clapped her hands together, which almost had Bucky pulling back until Tony licked along his bottom lip and Bucky decided he did not care that she was watching. Between Bucky’s crazy working-nights schedule and the erratic class/lab schedule that Tony kept, he’d barely seen Tony in the last week, and mostly they’d just texted or chatted on the phone and god, Bucky had missed him. Seemed silly, when Bucky sat down and thought it over; he and Tony had known each other for all of five weeks, gone on a dozen dates (was it really a date when half the time Bucky just dropped onto campus and they hung out in the Quad A to watch television?) and talked on the phone almost every day. And yet, kissing Tony was the highlight of his day. 

Tony tasted like duck sauce and oolong and he smelled like expensive cologne. His hair was soft and his skin was warm under Bucky’s hands and his mouth was clever and willing.   

“Okay, enough,” Janet said, finally, crossing her arms over her chest and tapping her foot impatiently. “Come up for air, already. I need Tony’s notes and to not feel pathetic.” 

Bucky could feel the reluctance in Tony’s mouth and tempted him back with a nudge at his lower back, before finally releasing him. 

“If you’d just ask Hank out, you wouldn’t have this problem,” Tony muttered. He waved a hand at the two desk chairs and the currently neat-as-a-pin other bunk (Tony’s half of the room was a disaster, the less said about it the better). “Grab some real estate, while I dig up this --” he disappeared practically headfirst into his backpack, pulling out any number of books, notebooks, a tablet, a laptop, with a muttered “not it.” 

Bucky dropped into one of the chairs, not wanting to mess up Tony’s roommate’s bed (Bucky had been introduced to the guy once, but Tony had exactly zero respect for the guy, and while he used cutesy nicknames for most of his friends, this particular guy found them offensive and often stormed off in a snit.) but Janet didn’t have any such hangups. She threw herself on the bed, kicking her heels up into the air behind her and snuggling up with the pillow, talking a mile-a-minute about the class she and Tony were in together, her crush on a guy named Pym, and why it was all sorts of inappropriate for her to ask him out (something something, he was a TA and probably going to be an adjunct professor next year and, something something.) while Tony dug out his notes and then ran them through his scanner for her, copying them. 

Janet apologized again for eating Bucky’s dinner when Tony tossed him both fortune cookies. Bucky opened one of them and devoured it in two bites, peeling the little piece of paper out of his mouth. You learn a lot from your mistakes; today will be educational. Bucky huffed, feeling cheated. Terrible fortune. He crumpled it up with the wrapper and threw both in the trash. 

“Don’t worry about it,” Bucky said. “I’ve got a lunch for work, I’ll just take my break early.” 

“You work nights?” 

“He’s a bouncer in a strip club,” Tony said, grinning, as if this was a real achievement, when honestly, all it took was a lot of muscle and the ability not to hit on the dancers. (Bucky’d heard of other clubs where the bouncers and other male staff got “free-trade” from the girls, but that sort of idea just made Bucky feel sick.) 

“Really? Where do you work?” Janet actually looked interested, which was odd. Most of Bucky’s experiences with women who didn’t dance was a mix of sex-worker shame, or feminism 101 rampages about the nature of his work. 

“Red Room,” Bucky said. 

“Oh, awesome. Tony, we should totally go, I bet we could get a whole group together and --”

Bucky hid his face behind his hand and groaned. Excellent, that would be just great, his boyfriend and a whole ton of probably underage college kids showing up at the ‘Room. Victoria would kill him. And that after she yelled at him for a while, and dear sweet zombie Christ, Victoria Hand had a way with words that made a man want to stab himself in the eye rather than face her wrath.

Tony handed off the print-outs to Janet, then dropped himself into Bucky’s lap, disdaining the other chair, and Bucky had to shift around suddenly, getting one arm around Tony’s lower back. “Some warning,” Bucky chided, then nuzzled at Tony’s neck, unable to resist. Tony squirmed around in Bucky’s lap, which was a little awkward as… nnnngh, yeah, okay, so it had been a long damn time since Bucky’d gotten laid and a little teasing was torture. 

Tony and Janet went off on some unstable particle theory that their professor had been discussing in lecture, with Janet adding in quips from Pym, who had apparently a long-standing debate with the guy. The theoretical physics part of the discussion was way over Bucky’s head and paygrade, but Pym sounded like a quick wit. 

“I agree with Tony,” Bucky said, interjecting himself into the middle of one such exchange, which earned him a brief look from the resident geniuses. 

“What part?” 

“The part where Janet ought to ask Hank out,” Bucky said. 

“Ha!” Tony exclaimed, almost falling out of Bucky’s lap in his enthusiasm, and the amount of twisting and twitching and clinging he did to remain perched there got Bucky a little more wound up then he’d really meant to be. “I told you, I told you, I told my mother, I told --” 

“You told your mom? Oh, my god, Anthony Stark, why would you… why would you tell Maria that? You know she’s like best friends with my mother, and they go to coffee all the time --” 

Tony heaved an abused sigh. “Because my mom was trying to get me to ask you out,” he explained, waving a hand. 

“Oh, that’s disgusting,” Janet said, sticking her tongue out. “No. I mean, like I adore you, Tony, you know I do and you’re the sweetest thing and you actually have really good fashion sense but you and me? Dating? That would be a disaster. It would be like dating my brother. If I had a brother. He’s kinda like my brother, you know --” she directed this at Tony “-- like all the way down to have pictures of us together in diapers.” 

“Jan!” 

“You told our mothers.” 

Bucky snorted. “Yep, you two are siblings. You sound just like me an’ Tash.” 

“Oh, right, your cookie-thieving sister, I forgot about that,” Tony said, twisting around in Bucky’s lap again. “I owe you a cookie. Let me up, I’ll go --” 

Bucky winced and pulled Tony closer, shifting his hips and Tony’s eyes widened suddenly as he realized what, exactly, was poking him in the leg. “I’m good,” Bucky said. He leaned closer and breathed in Tony’s ear, the sniper’s voice from the military that didn’t carry at all. “Don’t you dare get out of my lap right now.” The last thing he wanted was for Janet to notice the puptent he was making in the front of his trousers. 

Of course it had started raining. In Boston. In January. 

“Ug,” Tony said, walking him to the edge of the building, eyeing the sky. “You sure you want to ride your motorcycle in this weather?” 

“Choiceless,” Bucky said. “I gotta get to work, okay?” 

“Well, text me when you get there, babe,” Tony said. “This weather is. Well, I just want to know you’re safe.”

“‘Course, mom,” Bucky said, tapping Tony’s chin lightly. “Don’t fret, I’ll be fine. You don’t have to walk me out, no sense both of us getting wet.” 

“Okay,” Tony said. “Text me anyway.” He put his arms around Bucky’s neck and drew him down for a kiss, soft and warm and regretfully short. Tony was already shivering by the time he let go -- he’d come outside without a coat, like being young was somehow an immunity to the weather. 

“Will do,” Bucky said. He trudged out to his bike and had a completely miserable trip out to work. At least it was only twelve miles. By the time he got there, he was soaked through; riding in the rain was always like taking a 60 mile an hour shower, but this time it was also nearly freezing and his fingers and toes were so numbed that he ended up hitting the showers (again) before his shift started. Luckily -- or at least, practically -- everyone kept at least one change of uniform at the club. Guests drank, and anyplace where guests drank often resulted in employees getting puked on. He was still cold, and a little bit cross, so he group-texted Tash and Tony. At work. Not dead. 

A few hours later, he swapped out with Drax and took his lunch break early. 

Only to find out that someone had snatched it out of the fridge and eaten all but the last two bites. Yeah, that was just how his day was going. 

Bucky but one hand to his grumbling stomach and then sent his sister a text. If there’s not food for me when I get back, I will end you. 

Tash: I got chicken wings. There’s like four left. 

Bucky: I guess I’ll survive.

Tony: What today?

Bucky rolled his eyes. Tony had gotten some sort of weird enjoyment out of Bucky’s reports about Tash’s brattiness. Maybe it was having no siblings of his own, or maybe it was because there was always a damn list. 

Bucky: Milk. There’s like half a swallow in the jug. Not even enuf for coffee. 

While waiting for Tony to respond to that, he scrolled backward, reading the myriad complaints and bitches and affectionate name-calling that he’d said about his sister over the last two weeks. There was… a lot. 

Bucky: Put her hand in the cereal box. Ate a handful. Then put her hand BACK in the box. Ick. 

Bucky: Left exactly one piece of shaved ham in the package. 

Bucky: One AA battery left in the package. What the hell uses 1 AA battery. Bucky: NEVERMIND I FIGURED IT OUT DONT SAY ANYTHING. 

Bucky: Asked to borrow $2. Gave her a 20. She left $18 in DIMES on the coffee table. 

Bucky: Seriously. There isnt room in the dishwasher for a fork and she cant be bothered to run it?? What am I supposed to eat with? 

Bucky: Uff. that was nice. My turn to cook but work was shit last night and i m tired. She made spanikopita 

The phone buzzed under his hand and Bucky scrolled through the messages again to find the new one. 

Tony: Are u working next weekend 

Bucky: Thats valentines day? 

Tony: Yes. 

Bucky: Not at all surprising, busiest day of the yr. That said, I wrkd last yr, so I have off this. 

Tony: Oh, thank god. Do you get seasick? 

Bucky: Uh dunno? 

Tony: 5 mins, ill call u 

“Okay, so,” Tony said, when Bucky answered the phone a few minutes later, “I was wondering, maybe, if you’d like to go on a date. Like… an overnight date. I mean, I know we did that, when you stayed at my parents’, but like, for real, this time.” 

“An overnight date,” Bucky said, slowly, “on Valentine’s Day?” 

“Um, yeah?” Tony sounded nervous, a little breathy, like he was pacing around in his dorm room. 

“What did you have in mind?” 

“I… erm, you know Harbor Spirit?” Tony asked. Bucky did, actually; they ran advertisements on the radio all the time; kinda a bar/nightclub on a ship. Like Carnival Cruise, but smaller, and they didn’t leave the country, mostly just tooled around in the harbor area. A few times a year (New Year’s, Valentine’s, etc) they had overnight cruises. 

“Yeah,” Bucky said. “You… really?” 

“Well, yeah, if that’s something you want to do, I mean we can --” 

“I’d love to,” Bucky said. “That’s… um. Kinda serious business, though, kitten.” 

“What do you mean?” 

Bucky chewed his lip, he really would have rather done this in person, but what the hell. “I mean a date like that, it’s kinda expensive and… I guess what I want to know is where we’re going with this.”

“Oh, this is that talk,” Tony said, and Bucky heard him throw himself onto the bed. “We’re gonna DTR already?” 

Bucky snorted. Three letter acronyms… yay. Well, at least Tony didn’t actually say “lol.” He didn’t think he could date anyone who actually did that without at least a healthy dose of irony. “Define the relationship,” he said. “Might be time to do that, yes.” 

“Well, I’m not seeing anyone else,” Tony said, hastily, “not that you can’t, you know, if that’s not something you want, or, you know I don’t want to make assumptions, but --” 

Bucky smiled. “Oh, well, good, then,” he said. “I’m not seeing anyone else, either. I’d… we’ve been seeing each other about a month now, I’m interested to see if it goes anywhere. Dating, you know, with purpose.” 

“Purpose beyond just having a good time,” Tony said, all the way back to breathless again. “That’s, yeah, that’s great, Bucky, I’d… like that. Honest, I been sorta telling people you’re my boyfriend anyway.” 

Bucky hadn’t, not because he wouldn’t have, but because honestly, he didn’t have anyone to tell. Aside from his sister, and she’d already guessed that Bucky was more than halfway in love as it was. “That’s good,” Bucky said, again. “I mean, we… New Years, and… you know how I feel.” 

“But it’s nice to have it out in words, right, like official and everything,” Tony said. 

“Yeah, like that. Look, this seems wrong, over the phone. Can… can I take you out to dinner? I don’t have to be at work for another four hours, and I know a great diner --” he gave Tony the address. 

“Sure, I’ll… be there in thirty minutes, great,” Tony said. He hesitated, then -- “so, that’s a yes, on that cruise?” 

“Absolutely,” Bucky said, grinning. “See you soon, kitten.” 

“Yeah, I…” Tony said, hesitated again, then said, almost as if he was terrified, “soon.” 

“Oh, my god, Yasha, chill out,” Tash said, running her hand through Bucky’s hair and making a mess of it. “You look fantastic, it’s going to go fine.” 

“You think so?” Bucky asked, then, because he couldn’t possibly let Tash get away with that, he added, “because you know, if you think so, I’m probably in trouble.” 

“Is it a moral imperative for you to be such an asshole?” 

Bucky considered that, as if it were an honest-to-god question. “Hmm, probably,” he said. 

“Look,” Tash said, “I know that you were real hurt with that Rogers thing; hell, back in high school, you were practically writing James Rogers in your notebooks. And I remember what a fucking wreck you were when he got married.” 

Bucky flinched. What Steve and he had… Bucky had massively misinterpreted a bout of sexual identity panic. Steve had come into the Red Room for the girls, or so he had said, but he had also flirted with Bucky. And Bucky had been stupid enough to think it was real. To let Steve sweet talk him into some behind-the-scenes action. They’d had sex five times; three times at the Red Room, once in the backseat of Steve’s car, and once on the back stairs to Bucky’s apartment. They’d never even gotten to a bed, and Bucky was in love enough to think that any of it meant anything. 

And then Steve had stopped answering Bucky’s texts. 

A few weeks later, Steve had stopped by the apartment, had woken Bucky up to tell him that Steve was engaged to be married to a woman named Sharon, and he was sorry if Bucky was hurt, but… Steve still wanted to be friends, if that would be okay, he… 

Bucky had shut the door in Steve’s face and had waited until he heard the man’s footsteps on the stairs before he’d collapsed and cried himself sick. 

He had never been able to decide later if the wedding invitation had been an olive branch or Steve rubbing it in Bucky’s face. 

Either way, Bucky hadn’t gone. In his better moments, Bucky honestly wished Steve all the best. As time passed, Bucky had more better moments. The wedding date had come and gone; Bucky had in fact, saved the date. Had saved it to get good and fucked up drunk. 

“I don’t want to talk about that,” Bucky said, closing the door on that thought. 

“But you’re worried,” Tash said. “I’ve seen you… twice now, you’ve almost picked a fight with Tony because if it ends badly, at least this time it’d be your fault. I’m just saying, brother, give it a chance, okay? Tony seems like a good guy.” 

“How do you even know?” 

Tash pinked, and that was interesting. 

“What?” 

She sighed. “You texted us both, a few weeks ago, so I have his number. We… started chatting a little.” 

“You are texting my boyfriend behind my back, what are you, twelve?” Bucky was mortified. “What have you said to him?”

“Nothing about you,” she said, almost cross. “Well, a few things about you, like your favorite color and stupid shit. But we just got to chatting. I like him. He’s kind. I give you permission to like him; god knows, you’ve liked stupider people.” 

Bucky appealed to the ceiling, “Is my own sister giving me a shovel talk? Is that what’s going on here?” 

Tash looked ready to protest that, but instead, she just poked him in the ribs a few times until he grabbed her hands, laughing and squirming away from her fingers. “Stop, stop, I give up,” he squeaked, just as the door opened and Tony came up the stairs. 

“Do you need help?” 

“Yes!” Tash said, instantly, taking advantage of the distraction to poke Bucky again. 

“No!” Bucky responded instantly, thrashing his way out from under his sister, “No, absolutely, you do not need to help her.” He backed away, arms held out protectively. 

“Well, I actually meant you,” Tony said, laughing. “Hey, Nat, good to see you, I have a present for you.” 

The word present worked wonders, Tash stopped stalking Bucky, brightened up, and beamed. “You’re a wonderful person,” she said, “and I do not even in the slightest bit rescind my permission for Yasha to date you.” 

“I don’t need your permission,” Bucky muttered. 

“Well, in case you have doubts,” Tony said, and presented one of those cheesy velvet boxes that were filled with assorted chocolates, “I brought this for you.” 

“For me? Really?” Tash snatched the box away and hugged it to her chest. “Thank you, that’s very sweet.” 

Bucky rolled his eyes; at least this way he wouldn’t have to be pissed when Tash ate all the chocolates, but weirdly, it kinda stung a little. 

“And before you get all sulky, gorgeous,” Tony said, bringing a second box out from behind his back, “this one’s for you. Will you be my Valentine?” 

Bucky shook his head, grinning. “Of course,” he said, and drew Tony in for a kiss. He couldn’t resist the siren’s call of chocolate for very long, however, and he sat down on the sofa, patting the cushion next to him for Tony to join him, and tore into the box. One of the best things about his favorite -- chocolate-covered cherries -- is that they were easy to find, even in a box of mixed candies. “Thank you. Want one?” He offered the tray to Tony, who selected one at random. 

“Can I have one?” Tash asked, leaning over the back of the sofa. 

“Really, Tash? You have your own box,” Bucky exclaimed, exasperated. “Eat your own chocolates!” 

“Yeah, but your box is open already,” she said, like this was a reasonable excuse. 

“One,” Bucky said, firmly. “Just one.” He was going to have to take the damn box with him if he had a prayer of there being any of them left by the time he got home. 

Tony just laughed and stole another one while Tash was picking them over carefully, trying to decide which one she wanted the most. “Come on, gorgeous,” he said, “we can’t miss cast-off.” 

Bucky sighed, grabbed another few chocolates and rapid-fired them into his mouth like they were pez from a dispenser. Mouth full, he glared at his sister, took the box back to his room and rather pointedly shut the door. He chewed and swallowed heroically. “Stay out of my room,” he said, wagging his finger at her. 

“Have a good time,” Tash said, blowing kisses at Tony. “Thank you for the present!” 

Bucky grabbed his overnight bag and followed Tony out to his car. “That was nice of you,” he said, cautiously, “although I admit, I’m a little concerned that her box and my box are the same sized box. What am I supposed to make of that?” 

“Hey, I’m not taking her on a cruise, am I?” Tony pointed out. 

“True, that,” he said. Tony leaned over and kissed him again, more thoroughly, as they both belted in. 

The stateroom was rather like a lavishly anointed hotel room -- the sort Bucky had only seen in pictures, really -- with a soft cream and rich burgundy decorations. There was a tiny sitting room and a bedroom beyond with an absolutely enormous bed. Both bedside tables held huge vases full of roses, and laying on the pillow... 

“Holy shit, Tony!” 

Bucky stared down at the largest damn box of chocolates he’d ever seen in his life. Two-hundred and forty different chocolates, the box advertised.

“This way,” Tony said, “she gets to eat hers and yours back at your place, and you still get to have some.” 

“I’m gonna need to go to the gym for a month if I eat all that,” Bucky said, breathless. Holy shit. “Holy shit, Tony. I don’t even know what to say.” 

“That you'll be mine?” Tony suggested. 

“Oh, my god,” Bucky said, knocking Tony over onto the bed and pressing against him. “Yes, absolutely, yes.” 

#valentines day fic #winteriron #open asks #tony x bucky #holiday spending

[ryleejaybyrd]

ANSWER ALL THE EVENS BWAHAHA

Jesus christ Taylor XD Nobody cares but here I go!!!!!!!

lol like how I tried to play it off cool but I’m actually super stoked rn

2: do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day?

Yes and no... for like the first day of winter when it’s all pretty and pristine but when it get’s to the point of ‘fuck me do i still have toes?’ I’m over it.

4: how do you take your coffee/tea?

I like my coffee with french vanilla creamer and lovingly call it my princess froofroo bullshit drink. On the tea side of things I like herbal without anything added becuase I feel like a fairy drinking flower water.

6: do you keep plants? 

I love thinking I could, but the only plant I haven’t killed is the one that I keep in my papa’s sunroom where I’m never anywhere near it because everything I touch dies screaming.

8: what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings?

Is internal screaming a viable medium? I like to think I can write, but that’s still under investigation

10: do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach?

I’m all over the place, you can usual tell by my hair tho. Seeing as it sticks straight up on whichever side I sleep on.

12: what's your favorite planet?

Jupiter!! It has all those awesome moons that are v cool.

14: if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like?Hmmmmm, it’d probably be a homey mess of books, fandom knicknacks and random coffee mugs with random socks laying everywhere. (there may or may not be a smiley face painted on the wall that is outlined with bullets.. crazy night..)

16: what's your favorite pasta dish?

I’m very uncultured so spaghetti is how imma roll

18: tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up.

oh god, you mean every other moment I’m in their presence? My shining moment would probably be when I had a minor stroke after getting v excited about making cinnamon pancakes for @klskipper13​ and I stuttered so bad I said “ Cinininamonon pancancancakes” 

20: what's your favorite eye color?

Probably green! 

22: are you a morning person?

HAHAHAHA. that’s cute

24: is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets?

Honestly I’m a pretty open person? I’ll tell anyone anything, especially if I think it’ll make them laugh.

26: what are the shoes you've had for forever and wear with every single outfit?

YOU MEAN THE ONES THAT JUST BROKE AND I’M STILL GRIEVING OVER. They’re brown combat boots that go to just under my knee with laces all the way up. I lovingly named them my Katniss boots, may they rest in peace.

28: sunrise or sunset?

I like the idea of sunrise. There’s just something about beginnings that make me all poetic and shit

30: think of it: have you ever been truly scared?

Yup, 100% when my friend and I got busted after drinking at her mormon grandmothers house. In retrospect, probably should have done it elsewhere.

32: tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends.

At my 13th bday party my friends and I were staying at a house on a golf course and we streaked nude up and down the 18th hole. Till this day I wonder if they had surveillance cameras.

34: tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it?

It was a doe deer beanie baby named Whisper. She was that stuffed animal that went everywhere with me. At age 12 I lost her somewhere at my cousins house and am still sad about it till this day. She had one eye and a pink nail polish stain on her chest. Bonus story: my oldest friend @haleygalik​ had that same beanie baby and gave it to me since I was so upset about losing mine. I still have Whisper 2.0 till this day

36: which band's sound would fit your mood right now?Right now? Uuhh, I’m not sure tbh. I’m kinda feeling serene so something celticy. I’m also uncultured in music.

38: tell us about your pet peeves!

Dogs that beg when you try to eat. My dad passed that down to me. I will literally stare a dog straight in the eye and eat slowly. Don’t get me wrong, I love dogs more then humans, but that bothers me. I also get very twitchy when a computer desktop is just full of icons (yes I’m talking about you Tay.)

40: think of a piece of jewelry you own: what's it's story? does it have any meaning to you?

I have this wedding band set that I found when my great grandma jay passed away. I think it was her wedding rings, but I never knew for sure. I wish I knew their story more then anything.

42: do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it!

There’s a shop that’s in our town called grump monkey. Its small and kinda modern themed but still comfy.

44: when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything?Hmmm, probably when I was swimming in the ocean last November. The ocean is my home.

46: tell us the worst pun you can think of.

The fact that Barbara Dunkelman from Rooster Teeth is so bad at puns she gave herself the title Barbara Punkelman....

48: what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today?

Being abducted by one of the aliens from Signs. Well duh.

50: what's an odd thing you collect?

Tbh I don’t collect anything really... but I do have a thing about small intricate boxes and bottles. I don’t usually keep them long tho. I move a lot.

52: what are your favorite memes of the year so far?

The only one I’ve noticed is the thing with the cowboy hat. I’m not the most observant

54: who's the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face?

I just saw a friend of my mom’s who’s brother passed away, that was rough.

56: what are some things you find endearing in people?

It is so great when people talk with their hands more and more as they get excited. The best story tellers look like they’re being pulled around by a drunk marionette person.

58: who's the wine mom and who's the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why?

@brigadepuppy​ is probably the wine mom, and @klskipper13​ is the vodka aunt who doesnt really drink but has a bottle thats filled with water so people wont nag her to drink with them.

60: do you like poetry? what are some of your faves?

Robert Frost is my main bitch. His path diverging in a yellow wood will always be my fave. tho in english class we once read this poem about a lady who kept one of her lovers locked away in a hidden room and continued to sleep by the body even after the person died... to this day i cant find it anywhere. had something to do with roses. creepy as fuck but great.

62: do you drink juice in the morning? which kind?

Orange is the bomb!

64: what color is the sky where you are right now?

a black satin canvas speckled with the iridescence of millions of different cosmic lights

66: what would your ideal flower crown look like?

Oh! I really like colorful leaves and vines instead of flowers.

68: what's winter like where you live?

A mythic bitch. #upperleft

70: have you ever used a ouija board?

Fuck to the no. I like not being haunted thank you. Tho, I am 100% convinced a ghost named Tina haunts me. I’ve had flickering lights, random bangs, and things falling off shelfs happen every once in awhile. I’m surprisingly calm about it mostly.

72: are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you'll forget it?

Absolutely. Helps keep my mind clear too. If i write it down it’s not swirling around in my brain and distracting me. Once its tangible its easy to toss aside.

74: describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns.

I have only two friends

Friend 1: My lil Asian

Friend 2: Lil Bitch

76: is there anything you should be doing right now but aren't?

Oh for sure. I should be buying a ticket from Florida to New York, researching my trip to New Zealand, and double checking my bills are payed. HAHA NEXT QUESTION

78: are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub?

I’m a fanclub! I have a lot of love for people I’ve never met

80: what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why?

White, sadly. I didn’t, like I said. I move a lot.

82: are/were you good in school?

100% was a fly on the wall. Put in minimum effort and left with a 3.5 GPA cuz our school system is a joke.

84: are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones?

Yas!~ I want to do my Harry Potter house with my friends and something to do with space/the ocean or mythical creatures

86: do you like concept albums? which ones?

Uh sure, I totally know what those are and they’re great...

88: are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy?

The lil animatic videos people are doing for musicals! I love them so much!!! For example @galactibun​ and @raythrill​ do some really neat ones! (or at least I’m pretty sure they do??? I always see them blogging that style anyway)

90: talk about your one of you favorite cities.

Austin! Mainly because Rooster Teeth, but also it was such a vibrant place! I would like to live their someday.

92: are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch?

All the cheese. It’s cheese with a side of pasta. I love cheese.

94: who was the last person you know to have a birthday?

My Aunt Kelly!

96: do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? 100%  procrastinator. They take forever.

98: when's the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it?

Way to long... uh probably last summer with a friends dog! Of course! Being outside is always cathartic

100: if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why?

I’d go into the past! I’d miss so much if I were to skip ahead that I’d feel anxious I think. 

Here you all go, XD thanks Tay, I appreciate you booboo

[brett-buckner-the-dirt]

“Sure, it’s fun to see the excitement when Jellybean first comes around the corner and sees all the gifts that Santa left, but also I’ll be glad to come clean for one simple reason – I want some freakin’ credit.”

Three weeks after the fact might seem like an odd time for a Christmas column, but like most of you, the only way I can really enjoy the holidays is when they’re over … and right before the credit card bills have started rolling in.

The fake tree has been disassembled and shoved back in a box that seems to have shrunk since it was first opened after Thanksgiving. I’ve finally stopped whistling “Here Comes Santa Claus” but have resigned myself to finding loose strands of shimmering tinsel floating around the house until the 4th of July.

And I no longer yell at the TV.

It’s easy to bitch about how overly romanticized Christmas is, but there was really only one commercial that made me long for the Bird Box plague. I’d happily blind myself with a spoon and Super Glue if it meant never having to see that damn GMC Black Friday commercial again.

You know, the “one for you, one for me” commercial where the guy tells his wife about the pre-Christmas gift he got for them both, then leads her out to the drive-way where a brand new pick-up truck and SUV are parked. She immediately runs to the black truck leaving him sheepishly smiling at the red SUV.

I hate this couple. I hate them with a passion usually reserved for dog fighting and those ass-hats who order lunch for the entire office at the McDonald’s drive-thru. Has anyone in the history of the world not named Diddy ever bought two brand new cars as a Christmas gift?

Still … that was pretty much the height of my Christmas vitriol. Well, that and all the “Diamonds are forever” and “He went to Jared” spots, but that’s just because I’m a crusty old cynic who’s destined to die alone.

Merry Christmas!

I guess this year was different because I’m pretty sure it’ll be the last year when Jellybean still professes to believe in both Santa Claus and Dio, our damned Elf on the Shelf.

In truth, I doubt she really believes in either, but is clinging to the magic of childhood for as long as possible. She’s also smart enough to know that once she stops believing in Santa Claus, the number of gifts mysteriously dries up.

I for one will be torn when it happens. Sure, it’s fun to see the excitement when Jellybean first comes around the corner and sees all the gifts that Santa left, but also I’ll be glad to come clean for one simple reason:

I want some freakin’ credit.

Every year, “Santa” delivers all the really good presents, while Jellybean’s Mom and I are stuck with the also-rans. Santa brings the cool mini-Polaroid camera and the framed Grease 2 posters, while I give her a stocking stuffed with Bob’s Burgers-themed socks and Burt’s Bees grapefruit-infused face wipes.  When she gets the calls from Grandma asking what she got, Santa’s stuff always gets listed first, while her mom’s just out of range whisper-shouting, “and the bath bombs from me.”

I have finally matured to the point where I really don’t care what I get for Christmas, and I honestly enjoy finding fun things for Jellybean, but I’m sick of Santa getting all the credit.

I’ve gotta sit there smiling as she snaps pictures when I really wanna scream, “Santa didn’t stand in line for 40 minutes in Best Buy, getting coughed on by a guy who was either homeless or a hipster (these days it’s hard to tell), just buy the exact camera in the exact color you wanted. I DID. ME. YOUR FATHER.”

Jellybean at the River Walk, taking scenic shots with her Christmas camera.

Granted, most of the other stuff was painlessly bought and delivered via Amazon Prime, but I pay the bill and it’s the mailman who has to lug that stuff all over God’s creation. Your mother escaped Wal-Mart without murdering a single person after working a 12-hour shift bother people’s baby’s into the world, where’s her plate of cookies and warm milk? (P.S. what the hell IS that? Warm milk is gnarly.)

But no … mad props go to St. Nick, at least for one more year.

One Christmas tradition I can’t wait for Jellybean to outgrow is the Elf on the Shelf. Man, that thing makes me nuts. Jellybean’s got an elf at both my house and her mom’s house. Molly, the one at her mom’s house, does cute things like baking tiny cookies or making show angels out of flour. Dio, our demon elf, is about as much fun as a fingers in a garbage disposal.

If they were TV shows, Mindy would be Little House on the Prairie, Dio would be Jackass.

Dio makes a mess – creatively, granted – but a mess just the same. This, of course, means that  I have to make a mess … every night. Dio has covered the entire Christmas tree in wrapping paper, made a climbing wall out of bows, took all of Jellybean’s socks and tied them into a zip line across the living room and created a ski slope out of books and cotton bowls. Oh, and he put all of our Amazon remote  controls in a jar of slime.

Wrapping the Christmas tree

Dio as Gene Simmons

Dio wishes everyone a merry KISSmas

Dio makes a Play-Doh buddy

Wrapping the Christmas tree

Dio as Gene Simmons

Dio wishes everyone a merry KISSmas

Dio makes a Play-Doh buddy

Dio works the scanner

The main reason I look forward to Christmas is because that means Dio is going back from whence he came.

But does Jellybean actually still believe in Dio? Does my 10-year-old child really think that a creepy doll with unblinking blue eyes comes to life in the night, sneaking around the house playing tricks on us and  watching over her to report back to Santa whether she’s been bad or good?

Jesus, I hope not. That sounds terrifying.

But she wants to believe. She’s still a kid and I love that she believes in childish things. There’s plenty of time to realize that there’s not a lot of magic in the world, so I want her to hold on what little there is for as long as possible. Besides, she always helps me clean up after Dio, which is the only thing that’s kept him from magically landing in the Goodwill bin.

This is also the last year where we’ll be able to afford dueling gifts anyway. The retro camera, which really was the only thing Jellybean really asked for – the child needs nothing and doesn’t really ask for much – was just the tip of the iceberg.

Next year, it’s apt to be a phone and once we start down that road, the gifts are only going to get more expensive. Since we’re not the type of family – fractured as it may be – that’s on the level of car-buying when it comes to gifts, Christmas will soon become “One big gift and lot of necessities.”

Jellybean will get Beats headphones and … a pink loofa sponge.

I feel like we’ve always done pretty good with keeping our gift giving reasonable. It’s easier when your kids are spoiled all year long rather than doing it all in one day.

The Diva, who experienced her first Christmas as a fully formed adult – two kids, a job, a husband, a new home and scattered family all insisting on visits – asked her mother, “How do you do it?” The answer is as simple as it is impossible.

Keep expectations low – for yourself and for those you are providing for.

On the one hand, she succeeded. On the other, she failed …. just like the rest of us. She got caught up in the maelstrom of numbers, stressing over “how many” presents she bought her kids, neither of whom needed much. She spent too much and will have to live with the money worries that haunt everyone this time of year.

But all told, they had a great Christmas with lots of joy and surprises, which will linger as long as those credit card bills, but with a far better impact. And next year, she’ll be that much wiser.

Bam-Bam in his R2-D2 jacket

Getting ready for bed … sorta

Bam-Bam gets an early Christmas present

Watching IT with Jellybean.

Elf: The Musical at The Springer

I remember my first full-fledged family Christmas. I spent a stupid amount of money – money neither I nor the Lovely Mother of My Children had – on a record player and these vintage Disney story albums I found on E-bay. Meanwhile the Lovely Mother of My Children bought me this righteous skull ring with tiny emerald eyes that I’d once desperately wanted to be my wedding band.

I lost that ring a couple of years ago and am still sick about it.

That’s the hard lesson grown-ups learn about Christmas – stuff doesn’t matter.

I already struggle to remember what all I bought for Jellybean, not to mention what all was bought for me. Sure, we have to give something, but the cost of the gift should never outweigh the memory it’ll one day bring … unless it’s Santa who does the bringing.

Step off, Fat Man. Next year, Daddy’s taking credit.

  It’s Beginning to Look Like (We Survived) Christmas "Sure, it’s fun to see the excitement when Jellybean first comes around the corner and sees all the gifts that Santa left, but also I’ll be glad to come clean for one simple reason - I want some freakin’ credit."

[dianaritteroflows]

I’m bored so I did (less than) 150 questions lol

1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

Lol nobody. Wait maybe my best friend I think.

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Uh well if you got to know I’m pretty outgoing, but I’m yeah shy as heck

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

JESUS MY LORD AND SAVIOR

4. Are you easy to get along with?

To be honest, not really.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

Independent people. People who have a clear vision that is not clouded by society who has goals and all that good stuff. AND if he could play piano or cello or some instrument like that, it would just be a bonus but not a requirement.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Ha ha . . . no

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

BLAKE LIVELY I LOVE YOU

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

No. It’s going to sounded perverted, but I actually don’t mind at all. I wish I could have more than a 30 sec conversation about sex, but yeah . . . no one I know is up for it.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

My best friend when we were talking about how fucked up our mental health is.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“I ate a whole pint of ice cream for lunch”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Zella Day-Compass, Say Lou Lou- Feels like we only go backwards, Rihanna- Lemon (her verse only, I didn’t like NERD’s that much), alt-j - In Cold Blood, Ladies’ Code - Rain

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

Yeah :)

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I’m not pregnant, I binged watch two seasons on Netflix, and . . . I have eaten a whole pint of ice cream.

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

I have never been kissed before, so that’s . . . something, I guess. I’m a loser

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I hope there is. I hope the aliens believe in me.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

Lol, no. He’s in France, I think. Wait, or was it London? Anyways, that motherfucker is somewhere else and I could care less.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Yes. Yes, I do. 

20. Do you like your neighbors?

No, they lowkey scare me. I think they hate me.

21. What are you bad habits?

Uh . . . procrastinating a bit. I don’t have a lot of bad habits, I think.

22. Where would you like to travel?

Korea or Austria

23. Do you have trust issues?

Yes. I have been told that I have a lot of walls.

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Nothing. Maybe eating?

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

Shit, everything. My midsection makes me nervous. Like I hate my pouch and my thighs. Like the side of my thighs are HUGE.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Lighter, just because it’s difficult for me to tan evenly throughout my skin. 

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My mom.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

No. I don’t think any would really love my insecure ass. Besides . . . I don’t know I just don’t really believe in love anymore because I know so many people that have split up and my dad isn’t particularly very loving. So, I don’t know. I just don’t want to get stuck with someone who becomes abusive or finds out he doesn’t love me at all. I don’t think love will play a role in my life.

31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Lmao no. Okay, so I kinda look like a boyfriend, ya know what I mean? I have really short hair. And I have this beanie, glasses, and plaid look. So I kinda look like boyfriend material. I don’t know what I’m saying.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

God yes. James Mcavoy and Bill Skarsgård.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Hmm. I don’t think so. I have a hard time keeping something like that secret.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

Nothing. . . I just internally cry.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

Uhhh. Jesus, I don’t know. Every time I think I find my type, I always fall for the guy who is the exact opposite. So I guess my dream guy/girl would just be accepting of how fucked up I am and would be okay with sharing his/her own feelings and all that mushy stuff.

40. What do you want to do after high school?

Join cirque du soleil. So yes. I want to join the circus. But I want to join as a cellist. After watching my first Cirque Du Soleil performance, I fell in love. And it felt like somewhere I belonged. Somewhere weirdness or being different was accepted and present as being ideal.

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Yeah . . . I have really bad trust issues, so sorry no. I have been let down too much to give out second chances like peppermint.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m either tired/depressed/thinking deeply/just want to be tired/shy/or angry. It doesn’t really matter.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

That sounds fucking creepy. No, I do not.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

The thought of flunking Trigonometry always gets my blood flowing. 

46. What are you paranoid about?

Everything. Why? Do you know something I don’t?

47. Have you ever been high?

Uh. . . when I got really sick, so I took a bunch of medicine and I couldn’t think properly. But nope. NOT ON THIS CHRISTIAN BLOG.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yeah, I hope no one finds out I ate all of the pretzels.

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black like my soul.

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Yes. I wish to be Ryan Reynolds, so I could be married to Blake Lively. Or vice versa because I would be alright with that.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

My self-esteem.

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Y’ALL I ATE THE SPICIEST RAMEN ON EARTH AND I HAVEN’T BEEN OKAY SINCE 9 O’CLOCK THIS MORNING. I CAN’T FEEL MY TONGUE. But it was awesome.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I won an debate competition in class for being the best debater. So . . . that says something about my personality. 

63. Ever been in love?

Yes. and for that reason I will never be in love again because that was fucking insane and emotional. like I experienced more emotions than I wanted to.

65. Are you hungry right now?

I always am.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

Yes.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

5 and I have problems falling asleep without holding something. 

75. Favourite animal?

Probably a Zebra.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Nude color, ya little pervert.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Vanilla is superior.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

OHH WAFFLES AND MAPLE SYRUP IS MY SOUL

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Grey.

80. What colour pants?

Jean color (?)

81. Favourite tv show?

ARRESTED DEVELOPMENT 

87. First person you talked to today?

Me. Then I screamed at my little brother for not waking forty minutes late. 

88. Last person you talked to today?

My dog.

89. Name a person you hate?

My Dad. My ex-crush, Jack. My ex-best friends, Heather and Paige. 85% of the kpop fandom. . . oh wait you meant only one?

90. Name a person you love?

JAMES MCAVOY AND BLAKE LIVELY. I LOVE YOU

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

me 

92. In a fight with someone?

Yes. Always. Constantly. Frequently. When am I not?

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

five?

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

Enough.

98. Do you tan a lot?

no. I’m pale as fuck.

99. Have any pets?

Yeah, I have a cat and a dog.

100. How are you feeling?

I really don’t know. I guess fine?

101. Do you type fast?

yes

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

Yes, the things I said to my ex-boyfriend. I wish I could tell him that I was sorry. 

103. Can you spell well?

yaeh no

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

Yes, my ex-boyfriend and my ex-best friends.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

yeah, but I don’t really enjoy them.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Okay, so I do it unintentionally, but I somehow manage do it. And I’m really sorry that I do.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

I used to ride them, fam.

108. What should you be doing?

Taking a trigonometry test.

109. Is something irritating you right now?

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

yes. and that emotionally scarred me from loving anyone else again like that, so I keep up walls to block out as many people and I developed many unhealthy coping mechanisms to deal with the pain such as obsessing over celebrities and kpop idols so I never have to be reminded of the pain. so . . . yeah :)

111. Do you have trust issues?

fuck yeah

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My mirror . . . so i guess me?

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Miss Z

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yup, I’m listening to 4minute.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

well . . . I’m vegan

119. Favourite book?

OHHHH, this is a really difficult question. First book that comes to mind is To Kill a Mockingbird.

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

Kinda

121. Are you mean?

I think so?

122. Is cheating ever okay?

No, fuck you if you think it is.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

Nope.

125. Do you believe in true love?

Nope.

126. Are you currently bored?

Yes.

127. What makes you happy?

Raised sugar levels that are daringly close to type 2 diabetes.

128. Would you change your name?

Probably not. But I would like to add a pronunciation guide next to it. 

129. What your zodiac sign?

Sagittarius 

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

This happened to me. I just couldn’t bring myself to date him. I told him I liked him, but I kept it on the friend level. So . . . I friend zoned myself.

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

MY BABY ~ Yanan (Shine)

RING DING DING ~ Shinee

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

closed.

137. How tall are you?

165 cm or 64 inches

138. Curly or Straight hair?

WAVY, BITCH.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

Brunette. Because I’m Brunette.

140. Summer or Winter?

Neither. I hate them both.

141. Night or Day?

Night

142. Favourite month?

October

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Vegan :)

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark chocolate 

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea. Specifically oolong tea or peppermint tea.

146. Was today a good day?

Not really. Well, sort of. 

148. What’s your favourite quote?

All happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way 

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

Nope

150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

what has for centuries raised man above the beast is not the cudgel but an inward music: the irresistible power of unarmed truth, the powerful attraction of its example.

[junco-partner]

All of em.

Oh fun something for me to do while I wait on laundry.

1: Full name. Beau W******d Boudreaux. 2: Zodiac sign. Virgo/Libra line. 3: 3 fears. Abandonment, lack of direction, spiders. (The last one is more of an intense hatred but I couldn’t think of a third one)4: 3 things I love. Music, nature, comedy. 5: 4 turn on’s. Red/brown/black hair, pale skin, pigtails, good music taste. 6: 4 turn off’s. Stupidity, southern accents, backwards hats, bad music taste. 7: My best friend? I’d tag him but his only blog that I know of is pornographic. 8: Sexual orientation? Hetero. 9: My best first date? 11/13/15. 10: How tall am I? 6'0. 11: What do I miss? Happiness and security. 12: What time was I born? 10:00 something pm. 13: Favorite color? Green. 14: Do I have a crush? I suppose. 15: Favorite quote? ‘Listen. Think. Calm down. Relax. Shut the fuck up.’ - Bill Hicks16: Favorite place? Where the good music is. 17: Favorite food? I can’t. 18: Do I use sarcasm? Nope. 19: What am I listening to right now? If You Have Ghosts - Ghost BC.20: First thing I notice in new person? Music taste, honestly. 21: Shoe size? 12. 22: Eye color? Blue. 23: Hair color? Blond. 24: Favorite style of clothing? Black. 25: Ever done a prank call? Deez nuts. 26: What color of underwear I’m wearing now? Grey. 27: Meaning behind my URL? It’s a Clash song. 28: Favorite movie? Seven Samurai. 29: Favorite song? Lol. 30: Favorite band? Queen. 31: How I feel right now? Filthy because I’ve been cutting grass all day. 32: Someone I love. Flop. 33: My current relationship status. Single. 34: My relationship with my parents. Good 35: Favorite holiday. The entire period of October to December. 36: Tattoos and piercing I have. 'Stärke’ on my left arm. 37: Tattoos and piercing I want. Possibly other German shit. 38: The reason I joined Tumblr. Because of a crush eons ago. 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? No. 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night” texts? Sometimes. 41: Have I ever kissed the last person I texted? No. 42: When did I last hold hands? I can’t remember. 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? I like to allow 90 minutes but like 20 if I’m not showering. 44: Have I shaved my legs in the past three days? Nah. 45: Where am I right now? My room. 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? Probably Cody, my aforementioned best friend. If not then probably Chris or Emily or Maurice or someone. 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud, fucker. 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? No. 49: Am I excited for anything? Going to see Lee Ranaldo tonight. 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? Yes. 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? I barely even wear a real one. 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Maybe a few weeks ago. 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? Let’s not go there. 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Lol nah. Made that mistake recently. 55: What is something I disliked about today? Too damn hot, what else is new. 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Fenriz I guess. 57: What do I think about most? 'God, what idiots.’58: What’s my strangest talent? Vomiting words at a high volume. 59: Do I have any strange phobias? No. 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Whatever. 61: What was the last lie I told? 'Yes, I know where this ENT’s office is.’62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Don’t care. 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? If given sufficient evidence. 64: Do I believe in magic? See previous. 65: Do I believe in luck? See previous. 66: What’s the weather like right now? Fucking hot. 67: What was the last book I’ve read? Love All the People - Bill Hicks. 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Eh. 69: Do I have any nicknames? I don’t know. 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? Probably falling down a hill as a kid and nearly cutting my face of. 71: Do I spend money or save it? Spend more than I should. 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Yes. 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Post-its. 74: Favorite animal? Pug. 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Drunkenly watching Yu Yu Hakusho. It was amazing. 76: What do I think Satan’s last name is? I’m not supposed to tell. 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I guess Wood Goblins by Tad because holy shit. 78: How can you win my heart? Lol. 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? We’ll see. 80: What is my favorite word?fuck. 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? 5 good ones. 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Calm down. 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? No. 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Time travel without LiS rules. 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? None. 86: What is my current desktop picture? Gorgoroth’s first album. 87: Had sex? Like 3 times. 88: Bought condoms? Yep. 89: Gotten pregnant? Lol nah. 90: Failed a class? Nope. 91: Kissed a boy? Yep. 92: Kissed a girl? Yep. 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Yes. 94: Had job? Yes I have had 3 job thank. 95: Left the house without my wallet? Yes. 96: Bullied someone on the Internet? No. 97: Had sex in public? In a pool. 98: Played on a sports team? Long ago. 99: Smoked weed? Yep. 100: Did drugs? Not really. 101: Smoked cigarettes? Once. 102: Drank alcohol? Yep. 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Fuck that. 104: Been overweight? Yep. 105: Been underweight? Lol. 106: Been to a wedding? Yes. 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Probably. 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yep. 109: Been outside my home country? Got back recently. 110: Gotten my heart broken? Yep. 111: Been to a professional sports game? No. 112: Broken a bone? No. 113: Cut myself? Not intentionally. 114: Been to prom? Yep. Fuck that. 115: Been in airplane? Yes. 116: Fly by helicopter? No. 117: What concerts have I been to? Jesus Christ I’m not typing that list again. 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? No. 119: Learned another language? Yep. 120: Wore make up? Yes. 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? Lol yep. 122: Had oral sex? Yes. 123: Dyed my hair? No. 124: Voted in a presidential election? No. 125: Rode in an ambulance? No. 126: Had a surgery? No. 127: Met someone famous? Yep. 128: Stalked someone on a social network? Yes. 129: Peed outside? Yes. 130: Been fishing? Yep. 131: Helped with charity? Yes. 132: Been rejected by a crush? Lol. 133: Broken a mirror? No. 134: What do I want for birthday? To be happy again. 135: How many kids do I want and what will be their names? 0. 136: Was I named after anyone? A town. 137: Do I like my handwriting? Sure. 138: What was my favorite toy as a child? There were too many. 139: Favorite TV Show? Yu Yu Hakusho at the moment. 140: Where do I want to live when older? Where I fit. 141: Play any musical instrument? Yes. 142: One of my scars, how did I get it? Falling down that hill. 143: Favorite pizza topping? All the fucking cheese. 144: Am I afraid of the dark? No. 145: Am I afraid of heights? No. 146: Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad? Yep. 147: Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? All the time. 148: What I’m really bad at. Shrugging off bullshit. 149: What my greatest achievements are. Being happy. 150: The meanest thing somebody has ever said to me. Lol. 151: What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Buy things. 152: What do I like about myself? My misanthropy. 153: My closest Tumblr friend. I have none. 154: Something I fantasies about. I fantasies about be’s happys again. 155: Any question you’d like. Silence.

[krysrawfiggs]

1-154

1.Full name:Krysten Alexandra Figueroa but you will reffer to me as Krysfiggs

2.Zodiac sign:Im a cusp baby born as the day changed. I am a leo/virgo

3. 3 Fears:Spiders, being alone forever, my fam disowning me for being gay

4. 3 things I love:Being surrounded by awesome people, video games, outdoor activities

5. 4 turns ons:Firey passion, neck biting, n eyes.. its always the eyes, n intelligence

6.4 turns offs: Lack of intelligence, if youre rude in general, if youre clingy, lack of understanding n compassion

7. My best friend:I have a coupleNadia, amanda, n bree (when shes not being an idiot)

8. Sexual orientation:Lezzzzzzzzbbbbiiiiannnnnnnnn

9. My best first date:So far going out into town in the middle of a rainstorm running dancing n dickin round and then showing up soaked n eating at friendlys

10. How tall am I:Im 5'5"11. What do I missNot paying bills

12. What time were I born:12am on the dot

13. Favourite colour:I like deep colors. I used to say deep blue but i do love red n grey too

14.Do I have a crushXD maybe! Ok yea. I do. But i aint tell you.

15. Favourite quoteGod theres too many…

16.Favourite placePuerto rico

17. Favourite foodGawd this is hard ok. I have the soul of a very very fat man. If i had to pick one thing…itd have to be my moms pernil (pork shoulder)

18. Do I use sarcasmNever im a sweetheart😆

19. What am I listening to right nowEvie- last dinosaurs

20.First thing I notice in new personEyesss…eyess…eyess…….!

21.Shoe size822. Eye colourBrown anytime of dayGold in the sun

23.Hair colourBlack as the normBrownish in the sunlightBlue when its overcast

24.Favourite style of clothingandrogynous 25. Ever done a prank call?Yup i bothered the fuck outta kymmie for months before i gave myself up xD

26.What colour of underwear I’m wearing now? Burgandy See thru lace

27. Meaning behind my URLWelp minus the word raw its just my name. If my father didnt delete my 1st blog and of someone in asia didnt take my old username right after it wouldnt be as stupid.

28. Favourite movieToo many brahhh

29. Favourite song

30.Favourite bandBloc party, last dinosaurs, split milk society

31.How I feel right nowHorngry n lonely. Lusting for warm weather and beach weather

32.Someone I love.In what context?

33.My current relationship statusSingle af

34.My relationship with my parentsCurrently ok..

35. Favourite holiday Hmm i dont have one

36.Tattoos and piercings?I have average ear piercings But i want a lip ring n a tatoo of leo n virgo fighting inside of the sun ony shoulder

37.Tattoos and piercing i wantWhoops jumped the gun. Please refer to 36

38.The reason I joined TumblrMy friends at the time

39.Do I and my last ex hate each other? Nope we’re cool

40. Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts?I used too from my so. But now its just my good friend manny

41.Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? Hmmm no

42. When did I last hold hands?Non romantically:I held hands with my lil sister cuz she doesnt know how to cross a freggin road without getting hit by a car! But romantically: its been over a year and a half.

43. How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? 10mins

44.Have I shaved your legs in the past three days?Its been a good 6/7 months. Im at man status rn

45.Where am I right now? Trapped on a bus with zombies from nyc somewhere on the way to newburgh

46.If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? In oswego it would be chance. Here.. idk it hasnt happend.. but my best bet would be nadia

47.Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level?Both. Depends where i am

48.Do I live with my Mom and Dad?Yes. Please dont ask how its going. Its not well.

49.Am I excited for anything?Yes. The 3 day weekend

50.Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to?No i only have 2 chill male friends

51.How often do I wear a fake smile?Often enough

52.When was the last time I hugged someone?That would be last sunday i hugged holly. We went for a movie and a bite n caught up since inhavent seen her in 5ever

53.What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me?Its w/e as long as you happy n your not like eating face

54.Is there anyone I trust even though I should not?Yea

55.What is something I disliked about today?Evelyn being passive agressive towards me. Makes me uncomf. But i could care less.

56.If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be?Rebecca sugar

57. What do I think about most? Its gonna be one of 3 things, women, video games, food

58. What’s my strangest talent?I can get really creepy really fast. Iv been told to try out to be villians or serial killers in movies

59.Do I have any strange phobias?Spiders

60.Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both

61. What was the last lie I told?

62.Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online?Im old skool ill show up at your house ;) jk phone so no one can see this akward mess

63.Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens?Yes

64.Do I believe in magic?Yes

65. Do I believe in luck? Yes

66.What’s the weather like right now? Bloody cold

67. What was the last book I’ve read? Allegiant

68. Do I like the smell of gasoline?Addicted

69. Do I have any nicknames?Krys, elmo, jesus

70. What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have 12 stiches on my thumb both for cuts by blades oh n the one time i was going down a mt. On my longboard n i fell and got the worst road rash on my ass.

71. Do I spend money or save it?Both

72. Can I touch my nose with a tongue?No

73. Is there anything pink in 10 feets from me? Idts?

74.Favourite animal?Otter

75. What was I doing last night at 12 AM?Hehhhh better not say

76. What do I think is Satan’s last name is? Idfk

77.What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it?Anything fr the last dinosaurs

78. How can you win my heart? Compassion understanding and a drive no one else has.

79.What would I want to be written on my tombstone?Im not gonna be burried.

80. What is my favourite wordOogle

81. My top 5 blogs on tumblr Ill answer later

82.If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say?

83.Do I have any relatives in jail?Yes

84.I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Speed

85.What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? Feelings are a tough subject

86. What is my current desktop picture? An image from second son

87. Had sex?Why yes i have

88.Bought condoms?Nopes

89.Gotten pregnant? Nopes too gay for that shit90. Failed a class?Several

91. Kissed a boy? Yep im not a gold star lezzy no more

92. Kissed a girl? Many

93.Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain?Yes. Im super cheesey i do things like that all the time

94.Had job?I have a job95.Left the house without my wallet?Keys and liecensexD

96. Bullied someone on the internet? Nope

97.Had sex in public? Yes

98. Played on a sports team? Several

99. Smoked weed? Yasss

100. Did drugs? Ive tried some shit

101. Smoked cigarettes? Never now thats nasty

102. Drank alcohol? Yes

103. Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Never

104. Been overweight?yes

105. Been underweight?yes

106. Been to a wedding?yes

107. Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Days

108. Watched TV for 5 hours straight? When i was younger

109. Been outside my home country?yes

110. Gotten my heart broken? Many times

111.Been to a professional sports game? Yes

112. Broken a bone? Do Teeth count?

113. Cut myself? Not on purpose

114. Been to prom? Unfortunaly. Thats an akward story. If i didnt go i coulda stayed in puerto rico longer. But nooo joe had to ask my parents…

115. Been in airplane? Yes

116. Fly by helicopter? No. But ive been in some heavy duty military air craft

117. What concerts have I been to?Walk the moon, in hs i saw i see stars mega concert there were like 20 bands there idr them all, versaemerge, dragonforce

118.Had a crush on someone of the same sex?Yeaaa im megagay

119.Learned another language?I can fully understand spanish. But i cant speak it.

120. Wore make up? Im alergic to eyeliner xD

121.Lost my virginity before I was 18?Yes

123. Had oral sex? Yes.😍

124.Dyed my hair?Ive never dyed my hair

125.Voted in a presidential election? Yes both times for obama♡ . n fuck you, you lil orange dicked cheeto (donald trump)

126.Rode in an ambulance?Yes i did when i sliced my thumb deep with an exacto and was bleeding everywhere

127. Had a surgery?No

128. Met someone famous? Yes i have i met that guy from “what would you do” when i was staying in maryland. Also i stick around after theater shows and concerts to meet the actors, performers, and musicians

129.Stalked someone on a social network?Guilty

130. Peed outside?Um who hasnt?

131. Been fishing?Yes. Anyone wanna join me this spring?

132. Helped with charity? Yea every 3 weeks i participate in a soup kitched in poukipsee with my siblings and my cousins.

133. Been rejected by a crush?I have unfortunate luck.

134. Broken a mirror? Haha yea i did once

135. What do I want for birthday? Id love to go somewhere amazing and warm with awesome people. If im dating someone id love to actually have a birthday kiss. #neverhadoneonmybirthday

136.How many kids do I want and what will be their names?By kids you mean dogs? N id have all of them. Theyd have really crude/harsh spanish names.

137.Was I named after anyone?No but krysten means follower of chridtXD

138.Do I like my handwriting? Sometimes

139. What was my favourite toy as a child? Why it was my stuffy scooby doo

140.Favourite Tv Show? Gawd theres so many. But steven universe👌🖒

141.Where do I want to live when older?Puerto rico when i hit the lotto

143. Play any musical instrument? I can play the trumpet, the recorder, basic drum beat, and im learning the uke

144.One of my scars, how did I get it?Sliced my thumb with a woodcutter one year. Then the next year same thumb with a brand new exacto. Landed me in the hosp 2ice total 12 stiches

145.Favourite pizza toping? Extra cheese

146.Am I afraid of the dark? Sometimes. Im more worried bout the it under the bed that comes out when you dont have sheets on.

147.Am I afraid of heights?No. In my stage craft class i was the only one who wasnt scared of heights they sent me high up to work on stuff they also sent me 60ft up to the grid too 😎

148.Have I ever got caught sneaking out or doing anything bad?Yes and i had my ass handed to me on a silver platter several times.

149.Have I ever tried my hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?Yes. All the time.

150.What I’m really bad atBeing social. Talking to girls. Drawing.

151.What my greatest achievements are. Being the first to graduate college.

152.The meanest thing somebody has ever said to meYou should see the list of stuff my parents have told me since i was little. Its a little too awful to put on here.

153.What I’d do if I won in a lottery. Top secret Plans back the fuck up

154. What do I like about myself Um my bed head. Idk

155.My closest Tumblr friend Haha nadia

156.Something I fantasise about my exTisk tisk ladies n gents we shouldnt be reopening wounds like this. *points finger n shakes it like a noodle*