#like i get it i get it i get it its HARD to get queer rep in media still

[simplydnp]

be honest with me. what are the chances of a hard launch in june

anon this question goes back years. and the thing is. we have been right once before.

you ask me this this time last year? fuck no. i might even quip that dapg would come back before dnp would hard launch. well. look at us now.

and even then, you look back on the content they started with in the revival--it honestly kind of felt exactly like where we left off, only a lot more explicitly queer (we stan). and then... trying to see without my glasses 2. and bang, spooky week happened. and that shifted the balance. we suddenly got slo-mo replays of handholds. day, after day, after day, finishing with the absolute masterpiece of halloween baking cinnamon rolls. in all honesty it was so much more than i'd've ever expected from them. truly another post-baking universe.

and it never really slowed down. suddenly we had cat prom photos, catboy butlers, catboy dan w/ phil photography credit, theyre 'wrestling' --running us full throttle into gamingmas, the first since 2017. and every day we had a new thing to freak out over: standing close. golf jokes. and then... pinof reacts. i don't know what compelled them to do it but i do have speculations. genuinely, i think they wanted to defang a lot of their history. we treated pinof 1, especially, with this... reverance. and it wasn't talked about too publicly--and dnp didnt do it either. so if they really wanted to move on, to bring down the walls, open the floodgates, define this new era: they had to throw the first stone. and they did. quite heartily too. suddenly this almost taboo part of their history--almost too intimate to be perceived--was on the table. and we were talking about it. joking about it. giving clear signals of 'we see it, it's okay.' and suddenly we existed in a post-pinof reacts world. of anything, i would've never predicted they would've done that. absolutely wild. follow that with it takes two being so chill and fond. incohearant being so blatant and heartfelt. trombone champ being unhinged and chaotic. the genuine and sweet complimenting of each other in the red carpet video. devan wedding... happilyphoreverafter... we crashed forward in time. never knowing what would be next. where is the line? how far will they go.

they teased us with japhan honeymoon and we knew 2024 would be wild. but we didn't know how much. from wdapteo 2023, to specific reminiscing about japan w/ devan, WAD happening, and phil playing a huge role in it all--from the orange carpet hosting, to 'ive been in *sex noises* with phil from the start!', to 'remote crisis manager phil lester', to dan saying he can stay during the thank you.

one of the biggest videos so far this year was the tiktok likes one. i will be forever haunted by the dog eating cheeseburger and willy wonka tiktoks--theres some things i was never meant to know. and yet. they tell us. explicitly.

every single video on amazingphil since the return of dapg has mentioned or featured dan. there's been a palpable shift in the way they interact. have you seen the way phil has been glowing in videos lately? this guy is on cloud nine all the time. it's really not hard to see why.

the energy of keep or yeet w/ dan... the absolute Lack of pretense of it all. phan twitter... watch your step baby girl...

dan and phil fucking crafts. talk about an unexpected return. legacy defining, one might even say. we're still in this tailspin of what everything means and they drop this insanely iconic video on us. from the storytelling to the production to the aesthetic--and its all capped off by explicit handholding. yes, it was part of the sacrifice. but hand in hand, the heart dan ripped from phils chest in one, and the knife that did it in the other... oh boy. we're really in it now. and then they put it on fucking merch. genius. truly no one does it like them.

and the foot has been on the accelerator since. dan and phil connections, shuffleboard & mocktails, getting deep slumber party, acknowledgement & approval of fics (yes previously given but never like this)--hell, even the sims today was wild for 'is their love language horrible banter 👀'.

you didn't ask for an essay but i gave you one. all of this to say, they've been moving the line. quite intentionally so. they intentionally revived their joint branding. they are 'dan and phil' again, and seem happier than ever about it, and i think that means something. they're saying things they never would have before--out of the closet or not.

as for june... 5 years since coming out is a big deal. so is this year being 15 years of dnp. hell, so is this year for being the first out pride month where they're explicitly a duo and regularly making content together. they're sentimental, there will be something.

my craziest idea is reacting to their coming out videos ✌️😔 --but i don't think it'll actually happen. as for more realistic, i could see pride merch. and however that goes will be significant, in my opinion. i'm excited and curious.

i don't know if they'll hard launch. it's hard to put all of the implications, complications, and speculations back into the box once it's opened. dan's talked about it before--wanting to be able to fuck up and not be publically executed, instead, being able to learn and grow and work it out. i think that's a very understandable stance to have. very grounded. we'd have to ask him if tour/dapg has changed that now. i do think he's had some sort of life epiphany--whether it's about that specifically, only he can say. but i think it's there.

even if i portray a lot of level-headedness, i wear my clown nose with pride. sometimes the only option is to go with whatever is funniest at the time. they're both jokesters, so they could commit to a bit like that. but it's also like, it can be too serious for them to want to joke about. i don't know. i think we're in this almost beautiful state right now--the we know you know of it all. there's no expectations, no demands to be met, no obligations of types of content. they're happy. we're happy. it depends on if they feel ready. if they want to. we'll be here, always.

#that is to say. marraige hill is starting to get crowded boys. so if you could. do something about that. thatd be great #im sure there's things ive missed but basically it comes down to this: realistically? maybe. & thats a lot fucking closer than its ever been #theyre having fun. and that means im having fun #dnp #c.text #dan and phil #phan #<- for the fandometrics #answered

[disabled-dean]

...what did misha do this time?

Tldr he's not being normal about gay people but also telling us he's an ally with the biggest, wettest eyes.

No it's part of the con thing where it seems like he's kind of split down the middle with giving thoughtful, earnest responses about destiel and queer baiting, and making jokes about how he and Jensen couldn't actually film any content because Jensen's dick would get hard about it. Which is. Uh. Not a punchline.

But it is also an insane way to fumble the opportunity to show how much of an ally to queer rights and queer rep he can be.

It's hitting people different, but as a bisexual "man" personally I'm like, you know what actually I am more interested in hearing about how Misha, as a straight man and ally to the queer community, would navigate filming an intimate love scene with a close male friend. Particularly after years of push pull between queerbaiting and homophobia from the network, and the way that that has probably affected their experiences on the show and their relationship with eachother. That's an interesting challenge to conceptualize for an actor, and it's an opportunity for him to be totally normal about this question and answer it the way he would if his costar was a woman.

Because the jokes *can* sort of throw a wink to the audience like, I get it I'm in on the joke, I'm cool with gay stuff, and a lot of people do just take them as fun and silly, but it's very much also behaving like real life homosexuality is not within the circle of "normal".

Imagine if Misha Collins was answering a question about filming a kiss with- let's say Daneel- and his response was something like, "oh Daneel couldn't handle that because everytime we hug her p*ssy gets wet (insane thing to type. Insane thing to say). AND he said it on stage at a convention- it would come off as a super not normal response to that question.

So it's like, "othering", right? This idea we have in dynamics of privilege and power where some people are on the inside of the circle and some people are on the outside. And joking about that does acknowledge the outside, and it's better then being like, "fuck those homos", but its not the same thing as representing queer people as like, people. To show like, I can answer this question in a normal was because queer experiences are normal.

But taking it in this other direction, of like, humor and shock value. Sure it makes Misha Collins trend and we have fun on the internet about it, but it also contributes to this very widespread and still growing belief that being queer is different. It's illiciate. It's titillating.

And the joke specifically about like, I can't film a scene with Jenses because his dick would get hard, sure a lot of us hear that and are like, "haha cockles" or "haha cockles (platonic) and we give Misha a lot of leeway because it *feels* like he's giving us representation with that, but what he is actually saying, what people who do not think "haha cockles" are hearing is, "I cannot film an intimate scene with my male co star because his dick would get hard about it (derogatory)" which unfortunately is like a pretty straight shot towards gay panic laws and shit like that.

Do I think Misha personally believes that using someone's sexuality is a justifiable defense for manslaughter? Absolutely the fuck not. But I also believe that he's smart and informed enough to make those connections himself. To he able to see how, on a larger scale, saying that your coworker getting a boner is a reason not to do a scene with him, feeds into homophobic propaganda that results in real life violence towards gay people, interpersonally and legislatively. And I think he's informed enough to see that, on a small scale, it just kind of puts us seperate from him, whether or not we think that's endearing or funny.

For someone who has demonstrated a knowledge of allyship over his career through the queer campaigns he champions and donates to, the way he's spoken out against homophobia and against the blacklisting and queer baiting of destiel particularly, AND in saying he was "sick to his stomach" at the thought of co-opting the struggles of the queer community by accidentally coming out as bisexual, I think he's definitely falling prey to the desire to grab onto the spotlight instead of consciously acting in the best interest of the community consistently.

And does he need to do that? No. Unfortunately, no actor has to. But he's *telling* us that he is, which raises the bar for him in a way he isn't passing. Because he actually *is* sort of co-opting queer spaces, and what he's saying is, "Ew, gross. Penis."

[purgemarchlockdown]

Ah what the heck I'll post it through here

So in some discord servers, you've seen me specualte that Amane's uniform is inspired by the private Catholic Fukuoka Kaisei girl's school affiliated primary school (福岡海星女子学院附属小学校)

Now, because of the name, I assumed this was an all girls primary school And that the picture above was of 4 girls and the school simply allowed children to wear either skirts or shorts (its uncommon for Japanese elementary schools to have uniform to begin with so I could see a laxer dress code when it comes to stuff like this)

However After a bit more reading of their website Turns out that the Fukuoka Kaisei girl's school affiliated primary school Despite the name Has in fact been a co-ed/mixed gender primary school for the last 50-so years And while I can't find a dress code on their website It does seem like all the students in pictures on their site who wear shorts are boys

Anyway to cut a long story short: Amane's uniform actually resembles the boys one more than the girls (shorts instead of skirt + no ribbon + more central buttons)

And I know you like the trans girl Amane theory so I figured you'd enjoy this info

The only disclaimer I have to give is that the long haired child whose father tattles on Amane is in the same uniform (shorts and all)

So like if this is a girl then occam's razor is that girls at Amane's school just wear shorts (also it'd be strange for Amane's cult to follow gender rolls Except for hair?? idk maybe im overthinking)

TRANS AMANE BELIEVERS WE MIGHT STAY WINNING!!!! It would be weird if they did follow the entire dress code Except for the hair. Additionally those buttons are tripping me up since their Buttoned like the girls so this actually comes somewhere more in the middle of the Both of them...if it does turn out my insane "Amane perceives gender in the same way a cat does, it's just there" catthing Amane idea is real I'm going to explode.

Regarding the girl though...I can't believe I can unveil my insane Queer Infighting Amane idea- okay so in cults it's generally heavily encouraged to outright spy and tattle on people who misbehave:

(BITE)

Information Control: Encourage spying on other members a. Impose a buddy system to monitor and control member b. Report deviant thoughts, feelings and actions to leadership c. Ensure that individual behavior is monitored by group

I think, and this is pure speculation there's is very little supporting this I just like the idea. It be fun if they were BOTH trans.

My reasoning behind this is, first of all Amane doesn't seem to have many friends. Her T2 distorted voiceline has her say:

Father is a very praiseworthy person. Once his virtue increases, he'll come back home, right? It's a little lonely, but I'm fine!

Which, okay it's fair that her homelife is lonely, this doesn't necessarily inform her school life. But if we go to the Prison she's rather isolated overall.

Even in T1. Yuno and Mahiru are people she considers "close" but that's after mulling it over a bit due to being asked.

T1Q10: Is there any prisoner you're close with? A: If I were to say, I guess it would be Yuno and Mahiru.

It's not for a lack of Trying, she tries very hard actually. It's just that people tend to note the way she acts is weird and that gets exasperated in T2 where it's said she's pretty isolated.

But also, I was discussing with a mutual about her relation with this peer and they said that it's possible that this question:

T2Q11: Did you love the person you killed? A: I loved them.

Is referring to a Second Victim (This child) and Not her mother because...well one Amane has shown Very Little Fondness for her mother, and two it's entirely possible she killed multiple people because her staff in Purge March has blood on it Before she gets to her house.

Second thing: Cat Symbolism, Cat Symbolism stay winning forever. There is substantial amount of subtext you can wring out of the Cat being representative of sin and impurity, and Amane taking care of it and also being the Cat. Same with having her be "found out" by a peer and then sold out to, to her Religious Fundamentalist parents.

So now we go into my insane, circumstantial evidence, idea of Queer Infighting. I love WKTD and a big thing in that game is that even if your a "bad kid" if there's someone "worse" than you, you can live another day. And this kid can be anyone, the devil can be Anyone.

Amane has stated an inability to be a good girl:

Only if, only if, only if I could be a good girl

And a lack of desire to exactly "be one" since it requires her not being...herself, and she's happy with who she is.

T2Q20: How do you feel about you not being like everyone else? A: Nevertheless I was born as myself, so I'm happy

So, I'm just saying on a purely speculatory "this would be fun" basis. If we got queer infighting 12 year olds who are trying their best to be "good." I would explode.

Also, she is paralleled with both Mukuhara Kazui and known Genderless Freak Es so, yknow.

#asks #other analysis #doctorbunny #sorry if this is all over the place I have a lot of disconnected thoughts on this

[fossilizedhysterics]

guess who finished tlok tonight and immediately had this come to him in a vision!!!!

#i. really like tlok. like a lot #i understand why people dont like it #and i can accept that OBJECTIVELY its not that great #but i had a fantastic time with it #anyways yeah. gay people #tbh. would not call zhu li and varrick normal. most queer straight couple on the planet. #hes a gay man. shes a lesbian. theyre in love. do you get it. #i dont have that many thoughts abt wuko. i really really like it though. #wu is like the webkinz milk cat to me. i need to throw him against a wall really hard. #and of course. korrasami. what is there to even say there #one thing i will say is before watching it i TOTALLY thought asami was a fire bender and also evil #like i kept thinking “yep this is when she turns evil and then theres enemies to lovers” but nope #not a bender or evil and honestly im glad #she totally wouldve been justified in becoming evil though. i sure wouldve #love her.so much #korra too ofc #i have SO MANY more thoughts but im gonna run out of space #last thing i will say is i am a guy who will just always prefer media i can criticize #love atla. but theres nothing there for me to really sink my teeth into or like bitch about #i love it when media is KIND OF BAD and i can RANT ANGRILLY about it #the legend of korra #tlok #legend of korra #korrasami #wuko #zhurrick #korra #asami sato #mako tlok #prince wu

[cavaliercanine]

ive been thinking about this for a while and y'know. there isn't actually a big difference between someone asking you not to refer to them as human and someone asking you to use gender neutral language for them. ive seen fellow queer people (mostly on twitter) whine and scream and shit their pants over being asked to not call someone human, as if that is somehow different from a transphobe throwing a fit about being asked to use singular they for someone? how often does that even come up? do you seriously refer to others often enough with the word "human" that being asked not to is a major inconvenience? I don't know how to finish this post but you get the idea it's hypocritical and annoying

#DISCLAIMER. obviously nonhumans are not oppressed like queer people are and that is NOT what I am saying at all. #but in most cases you can replace the word “person” with “individual“ and ”people“ with ”others“ #obviously not always exactly those but you get the idea #it is not harder than changing the pronouns and terms you use for someone #coming from someone who does struggle with learning to use neopronouns quickly I understand if it *is* genuinely hard for you of course #but in my experience thats rarely the case and more often than not its just people being willfully disrespectful #therian #therianthropy #otherkin #EDIT ive muted this so if you try to start discourse with me I will Not see it

[mintaikcorpse]

Me reading a fic where the person had an identidy realization that they were in he aroace spectrum and now they were figuring themselves out(I finally found something that understood me and a romance I could relate to after all these years)

#love loses! you're on the aroace spectrum and you dont fucking know what you are but you're definitely on the spectrum #but it's so hard to explain bcuz how do youve never had a real crush on someone but also have had platonic feelings for someone #and dont want to do the romance thing but also still want to have a queer platonic relationship and do romance things? #YOU DONT #IT DOESNT MAKE SENSE TO ME BUT I JUST KNOW #ESPECIALLY BECAUSE I CANT JUST GET CRUSHES ON PEOPLE IT TAKES YEARS I'VE ONLY HAD 1 CRUSH THROUGHOUT MY LIFE #AND I JUST WANTWD TO BE FRIENDS WITH HIM #I thought that was just me but the author was projecting and explained perfectly what i was going through #and ik i say “I cried” a lot when talking about something but i did actually cry #had to put my phone down bcuz it felt so nice to be understood #idk just venting and rambling lol #aroace #ace spectrum #gotta keep a journal on this bcuz i want to explain to people but it's so hard for even me to grasp #and i feel like they won't believe me anyways bcuz ive tried to himt st it but i just get weird looks #its annoying but it is what it is #aromantic #asexual #lgbt #queer #talking #rambling

[ffc1cb]

i’ve always found it peculiar how during meeting the chargers cutscene the game just assumes your character automatically understands what krem is talking about when he mentions binding (though, granted, it’s all very unsubtle). like, this is a roleplaying game. what if i want to play a character who just doesn’t get it

#dragon age #cremisius aclassi #inquisitor trevelyan #at least give me an in game explanation of why the inquisitor would Know this right away #it's not like transgenderism is a widely explored topic in da lore. the most you can find about it in inquisition specifically excluding #krem and seras countless transmisogynistic lines is one codex that mentions that some previous divine mightve been a trans woman #and the way it's written sucks ass. the infamous sex in thedas codex also mentions nothing on the topic of transness. so like #whats up with that #art stuff #before anyone says anything i fully realize how i look critiquing a bioware game that came out in 2014 on its faulty queer representation #please trust me i know. im just thinking out loud #ALSO. in case it isnt obvious. parsley transed they gender. the joke is that theyre a nonbinary femme now #its hard for me to show it through art because it would involve misgendering them but they dont actually start going by they/them pronouns #until after halamshiral. so like technically if i made them refer to themselves as he/him at any point before that it would be canonical but #its not like my art is chronological by any means and cannot be taken out of context by virtue of it existing as an individual post online #if someone were to reblog an art of them saying hi im a dude theyd go cool! hashtag male inquisitor. or something #the tragic case of sacrificing narrative in order to not get second hand discomfort at seeing parsley misgendered #ANYWAY..........

[up-in-flames-writing]

In lieu of Stuff Your Kindle day, can we talk about the issue of how the m/m genre of books, romance or not, is almost entirely dominated by women? Can we talk about how the most recognisable gay couples in media are written by women? Can we talk about how queer men can't even write about ourselves, how we are only allowed to exist when it's from the point of view of a straight woman sexualising us?

Can we talk about that? Or am I going to get called misogynistic for pointing out the disparity between who gets the writing deals, & who gets their books turned into movies, & whose shit gets popular versus whose doesn't? Can we talk about how m/m fiction is only allowed when it appeals to a cishet gaze, or is that too much for tumblr to take?

Can we also talk about how trans queer men are even more hated by publishing? Can we talk about how we get shit from both sides? Can we talk about how books about the experiences of being a queer man, written by queer men, never get the same recognition as books written by women on this subject (barring academia which has its own problems)?

Can we talk about that? Can we?

#booker speaks #no bloody clue how to tag this #this is for the tags only but #people would get up in arms if the f/f book scene was dominated by cismen only #why are we not extending this same energy to ciswomen writers of m/m? #why did we forget about the original meaning of own voices? #why are queer men pushed out of publishing in the way that we are? #& im not just talking about romance here #like there are fantasy & scifi & contemporary novels about men loving men that are written by ciswomen who have a very narrow view of what #m/m relationships are like. & this extends towards stuff like manga too but im not gonna get into that cause i dont read mangs/comics #can we talk about how hard it is to find queer masc authors nowadays? #saying this both as a reader & as a writer #can we also talk about how lists of queer & especially trans novels almost always forget to include anything by transmascs & gay transmascs #or if they do include us its 1 transmasc book to 1 enby book to 8 transfem books or books about the 'trans experience' in nebulous terms #can we stop reccing detransition baby & start reccing the spirit bares its teeth? #can we look at works written by queer masc people that arent just red white royal blue & stone butch blues? #go read cemetary boys #read alexis hall & max turner #read bloom if you like comics. or nimona #read my shit too! #im gonna be focusing on my writing blog way more this year #& im working on some projects that may or may not end up being published in physical form #read more queer masc stories by queer masc authors!

[ratjunk-imean-junkrat]

Best day of my Junkrat main life

#nicest junker queen main ive met so far #i love junker queen so much? #its insanity #i also get so nervous around junker queen mains #dont wanna look like a fool #its 10 times worse if the junker queen is on the enemys side #i stumble over myself so hard #junker queen #queen of junkertown #junkrat #junkrat main #overwatch #queer and terrified to disappoint #i was shaking because of how anxious i was #RatJunk Posts

[reel-fear]

MIKE BLOCKED ME ON TWITTER FOR ROASTING HIS DUMBASS RESPONSE TO THE GRAPHIC NOVEL STUFF!!

grown ass man scared of the 19-year-old queer being mean to him over his public meltdown more at 8.

#ramblez #little white boy sad? U sad bc nobody likes you? Bc u constantly make a fool of urself and show off ur distaste for ur fans? lmao #this is one of the greatest things to ever happen to me imagine how mad he'll be when he finds out the fangame Im making has queers in it #hes gonna have a whole other white boy meltdown on main KJSNFDGKJHFGKJHGKJHSDFGSD #hes so fucking sensitive maybe just get off of social media Mike this never ends well for you #batim #batdr #bendy and the ink machine #bendy and the dark revival #and look Im joking around about this but it really is sad that the bendy devs cant handle this kind of critique towards their decisions #it seems despite the backlash once again they are choosing to ignore their fans which is yknow upsetting #But hey ig if the devs being awful was a dealbreaker for this fandom I wouldve left a long time ago and I havent #dw Im not going anywhere <3 #also if anyone else here was also criticizing Mike maybe check his acct to make sure ur not blocked now since apparently #old habits die hard and this is certainly a pattern with him KJHDSFKGJHSDKFGJHDFGSD #also look before anyone asks yes I was kinda mean to him over this but to put bluntly if hes gonna be this dismissive to his fans concerns #he deserves it. Theres this persistent attitude esp in bendy fanspaces of being defensive of the devs #and I dont know why they have been extremely horrible people every single chance they get #and its very hurtful to see how many people would rather tell me to be kinder to the people who broke the heart of a child me when they #dismissed any ideas of putting queers like me in their stories than to realize Mike n Meatly bring this bad attention to themselves #to put bluntly I dont owe them kindness not until they at least apologize for the shit they did which they still havent #mike hasnt even addressed his vent poem in the code of BATDR let alone the other shit he said n did #so no I will not be kind to him ever hope this helps!

[catboymitosis]

Fear and Hunger Termina playable characters ranked by who would be the most cancelled on twitter.com and why

Karin posted IRL gore war photos, called someone a slur she could not reclaim and constantly gets into arguments with users that have less followers than her which is an abuse of power (people tried to get her fired over this stuff)

O'saa has controversial takes (about a lot of things but mostly religion) and trolls people who get outraged about them. Multiple callout posts against him have a large section that boil down to "this is when he hurt my feelings which is an immoral thing to do"

Marcoh literally killed a man and is on the run

Daan retweeted lesbian porn as a "cishet" man (would be even more cancelled for this if he was outed)

Marina is a transgender woman with kinks and a sex drive. Also did not treat her stalker's mental health with enough sensitivity which makes her ableist

Olivia openly questioned her sexuality which is appropriating LGBT experiences for clout (she apologized)

Levi traumadumped one time which is emotionally abusive, posted about struggling to pay his rent as an addict which was clearly a ploy to get people to send him money so he could feed his addiction (he no longer posts to twitter)

Abella is not cancelled but someone called her butch once there

#funger #i kept flip flopping between whether daan or marina would be more cancelled theyre kinda tied to me #ultimately decided daan is more cancelled cause he argues with and provokes karin meaning he gets redirected public attention onto him #and daan is also easily clockable meaning there are going to be both queer and homo/transphobic queer people pushing the issue really hard #trying to force him into a position where he has to publically out himself #marina would have viral drama with samarie for like a week but she'd ultimately own everything people tried to use against her #olivia would be more cancelled if people found her gunplay side account but its set to private so shes safe

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

i guess Eddie is just a gay as fuck name. who would'a thunk

#1st we have eddie diaz from 911 #then eddie munson from stranger things #and now eddie dear from welcome home #the only reason im not including nygma from gotham(fox) is because he went by ed. #but. oh my fucking god its four isnt it. four queer-coded eddies. a queer quartet. FUCK LMFAO- #(and yes. yes i know eddie is canon not coded. However he technically fits and the others arent canon so Sh. shshshshs hush) #stg next time a character is named 'eddie' in whatever i watch/read #im Immediately gonna be side-eyeing them. I Know What You Are. #scribble salad #absolutely unprompted #im getting way too attached to eddie dear tho #i just know something bad is gonna happen to him #if it Hasnt Already yk #and after what happened to munson... idk if i can take it #(jk i can. my favorites always die so i go into enjoying a character Expecting Their Death) #its just... dear is just like me fr (blatantly lying) #i just sympathize with him real hard. having memory issues sucks ass!!! #and i lowkey hope that plays into a big part of his personal horror! bc it Is scary! very fuckin scary! #anyway three queer-coded eddies. lets goooooo #*four. fuck. sorry. #i cant believe its four eds....

[br1ghtestlight]

sometimes i forget the roudise jealousy/kiss plot in bob actually was like a Real thing that happened. like they kissed onscreen and everything. that feels like fanfic I always have a hard time remembering that they're canonically a semi-romantic pairing

#rewatching bob actually right now and anything w/ louise and rudy has me going like wooow #maybe bcuz in the osc ships are NEVER ever canon or even implied to be canon so the fact that romance as a concept exists in bobs burgers #is a novelty to me #wish they had more queer romance though!! but I get its hard when the main couple is in a m/f relationship and then the others are kids #they should give teddy a boyfriend just for fun. like they COULD #its allowed #txt #bob's burgers

[obsob]

Reading questions!: how many books have you read this year? worst book and best book? what are you reading now? <3

hello !!

-currently i have read 49 books this year tho quite a few of those were novellas . but some of them were like 800 pages so. balances!

-best books tied between: in memoriam / alice winn - the cloud roads / martha wells and fools errand / robin hobb -worst books: in the lives of puppets / tj klune (i fucking HATE tj klunes writing. and i also hate purposely written '''cosy'' fiction and forced found family stuff. why do i keep reading his books) and the cruel prince / holly black (girl none of these characters are likeable)

rn i am reading fools quest by robin hobb which is .....okay......ngl im not liking the fitz and the fool trilogy much rn i rlly didnt like fools assassin which honestly shouldve just been 'fitz makes questionable parenting decisions and struggles to run a household'. im not like getting the vibes. i might pause reading it or read smth else as well along side im undecided

#barks #also my next read might b th new freya markse book or th will of many by james islington which i Dont have high hopes for but am....curious #i am the worlds most picky reader also. male mc priority. single pov. NO YA!!!!!!. fantasy preferable. queer very preferable. #very hard 2 find all those things combined and its a) not just straight smut and b) actually well written #i also do not trust most men fantasy writers srry u just lack emotional depth and also write women weird #u kno sometimes when ur reading a book n ur like. this was written by a middle age white american man #u can just Smell the american. i tried reading that fucking. like tarot series??? the last sun i think?? sm good ideas but good LORD #literally like reading a marvel movie. read sm ursula le guin n get a GRIP

[skitskatdacat63]

— Emperor Charles VI's diary entry on Count Althann's death

[text: "My only heart, my comfort, my most faithful servant, my soulmate, who loved me dearly as I did him for 19 years, [we] had a true friendship, we were one heart and one soul, and we never concealed anything from one another. He will always be in my heart, [my] beloved friend..I. have lost everything."]

#this is like. incredibly niche. #but also hopefully a quote one can look at without context and still feel emotional damage about #idk. i think about this quote probably at least once a week and then have to stare at it and cry a bit #its just GOD. yknow?????? #theres this one paper(which i linked) that i originally read as research for the AU #but i go back to it probably twice a month to reread it bcs im so !!!! abt it #i think its cause charles vi is just not that relevant but is relevant to me so to have this paper abt his personal relationships is very ! #its both nice as ref for the au but also very interesting to hear about historical queer relationships/dynamics #the sections about him and his wife are very endearing as well #but god like him and count althann. im literally so invested in this 300 year old relationship #this is obviously from his death which is incredibly depressing and heart wrenching to me #but the other things he wrote about althann in his diary are very sweet to me #they were inseparable to the point of often sleeping in the same bed and charles called him his 'eternal love' #AND ON ALTHANN'S DE WIKIPEDIA PAGE IT LITERALLY CALLS HIM THE EMPEROR'S FAVORITE #anyways literally every part of this quote absolutely destroys me but especially how he refers to althann and then the ending #and its interesting to me bcs apparently his diary entries were usually pretty to the point #but when various people in his as althann died he would write these extremely emotional entries that are so </3 #if you have any questions abt their dynamic pls i will talk abt them 🥰🥰 i find it fascinating #theres a book about his diary but its in german and 500 pages and kinda hard to get hold in but maybe one day!!! #also in AU contexts: althann and charles vi would be mark and seb so take that as you will 🤭😭 #as i said this is great for ref but also made me sooooo fucking invested in him #i have no idea how to tag this #historical #holy roman empire #emperor charles vi #catie.rambling.txt #historical quotes #habsburg #habsburg monarchy #ah wow if only my german prof could see me now. fucking...habsburg posting. why am i like this

[toastsnaffler]

in a hilarious turn of events my flatmate didn't even know I use any pronouns....

#i thought when she was talking abt how her parents thought i was gonna come out as trans and kept checking my name/pronouns- #that the joke was that im ALREADY trans but in ways they dont know abt.... but nope she genuinely didnt know 🤭 #to be fair. i dont rly let anyone in on my gender business unless we're close enough to be dating or its an anonymous online space #like im legally cis and thats fine. idc abt ppl using my name + she/her bc thats not my gender identity its just AN identity that i use- #to navigate the world without ppl being fucking nosy bc i pass as + am sociopolitically treated as a woman (if butch lol) #to ppl who are friends ill joke that my gender is dyke (true) and to friends whose gender falls on a similar spectrum- #or who are transmasc ill talk a little more honestly abt it bc theyre usually able to understand better than anyone else #other butch dykes w a weird gender going on are the only motherfuckers who actually Get It but theyre hard to come by tbh #to be frank i dont fucking know whats going on w my gender. and i dont rly care enough to do the introspection to figure it out rn #i have so many other problems in my life and im lucky that most of my beef w gender can be solved by presenting butch + binding #and using any pronouns around other queer ppl. its actually incredibly funny to me when ppl she/her me bc its like tch. this chump hasnt #unlocked my level of gender yet. pronouns and names in general are so far disconnected from the way i exist in the world... #its just smth thats fun for me to play around with + makes me feel weird sometimes but in ways i havent distilled yet yknow #and this has been my approach to gender for like?? 4-5 years now??? and likely will continue to be for a long while.. #anyway. its not actually that surprising my flatmate doesnt know bc shes cis so ive never felt compelled to have a deeper conversation #abt gender with her. but also i could sweeaaar its been mentioned bc almost all our other friends are trans lol #and also ive been introducing myself at queer sports socials w any pronouns and i swear i talked abt that w her..... whatever #and my pronouns are on discord and shes def seen my tumblr before but maybe i didnt have them in my bio at the time... i digress #i kind of prefer cis ppl she/hering me tbh. theyre not able to they them or he him or whatever else me in a way that matters..... #altho i do find it fascinating when she or other ppl elect to use neutral or masculine terms for me. raising an eyebrow and taking notes #like when she got a job and joked abt me being her househusband.. pulling up the fem/masc tally chart and chalking a line up #a la nona the ninth.... ive been trying to figure out whos inhabiting this body my entire fucking life with no luck girl #ANYWAY just smth to think abt. im so tired i think my brain is gonna start seeping out my eyeballs #im gonna watch some more pluto and read and then -> 🛌 #another 6:30 start tomorrow woohoo #.diaries #zzzzz