#let them go on a magical buddy cop adventure together. for me.

[twilightpoison]

It’s been brought up to me that a lot of my content is Isekai based. However I didn’t want this to be a Ieskai HC post. Instead let me tell you all about a stupid thing I came up with as a kid that I’ve been meaning to make into a fic for so long.:

What if the characters you play actually can feel your presence and/or can hear your commentary when playing?

Fair warning I never play Hyrule Warriors and Twilight Princess so let me know if I got things wrong.

Head canons under cut!

General head canons (These are all platonic headcanons btw.):

- Let’s say that the simple reason that you are here was to help the chain. Think of it like you’re the groups companion on this journey. Who better then someone that knows about each hyrule?

- The people who dealt with a lot of magic recognize you at first. The others need a bit of a push to connect the dots but everyone gets there.

- The connection wasn’t as strong at times during their original adventures, so its not like they could always hear you or sense you.

Time:

- You saw him and it was clear he has another sibling now.

- Time knew you where telling the true, that you followed both of his adventures however he wasn’t going to be fully open to you.

- Guess who isn’t scared of Time? You.

- Literally at one point you’ve pointed at Time and with a straight face says “thats a child”.

- This is also how the chain found out that Time actually fought the moon technically.

- “You fought Majora on the moon while it was falling. That’s not the same thing.”

- You meet Malon and it was an awkward first meeting since how do you explain this in the first place.

- Yet the two of you got along amazingly.

- When you and time are alone you instantly ask Time if he knew how she got the cow in his house. He kinda just… stares at you? Like you just met his wife and thats what your asking about?!

- The answer was that he wasn’t sure how she did that but the cow isn’t in his old house anymore. Since different timelines and all.

- It’s honestly weird for him to have someone remember both of his adventures in confidence.

- All be a little awkward hearing someone go, “oh yeah! Time had to do something similar.”

- Early on Time did go over boundaries since he really doesn’t like to talk about his adventures to much.

- So instead you both agree to be as cryptic as possible or at least there is an attempt on your part. Since your the only other person that can confirm or deny his claims.

- And no. You also don’t know his true age. But your guess is the closest.

Twilight:

- Since he is one of the Link’s that is drenched in magic, he recognizes your aura instantly.

- Chaotic sibling energy.

- If he is giving Wild or any of the other Link’s a hard time you are by his side calling Twilight out. Unless if the person in question did something truly idiotic then you let him go off.

- Speaking of, you call this man out as much as you possibly can. Like hell if you’re going to let the others think he isn’t a gremlin.

- He did try to stop you by covering your mouth but you licked his hand. So…. guess what he isn’t trying again unless it’s necessary.

- Somethings are kept a secret though. Since he did live through it and even if it was stupid he still could of gotten really hurt.

- You both play good cop, bad cop to the younger Links all the time.

- Twi is surprisingly very open with you about his adventure, to finally talk to someone about it with out having it sound crazy is nice.

- He also has some questions about you and your life. Since before this adventure started you just disappeared.

- The two of you honestly get along like two best friends who haven’t seen each other in years but still can banter like its the good old days.

- Knowing only small amounts about what they all been through it’s nice to know that you’re looking after the others as well.

- That feeling makes him really push himself to protect the family he has here and luckily you are here can smack him upside the head before lecturing him.

Warriors:

- heeeeey… you know what happen the last time he met someone that was suppose to be watching over the hero’s spirit?

- Yeah, so….War’s isn’t so keen on trusting you like some of these Heroes.

- You seem nice and not obsessively crazy. If anything what makes him decide to give you a chance. It’s seeing you get along with the other Heroes post battle or around the campfire when you think no one is watching.

- The moment that he recognizes you. You were cursing out some monsters and calling Dink every name under the sun. Which he actually remembers hearing your panicked voice briefly when fighting Cia.

- Anyway, you guys are a sass duo and even a trio when you get Leg involved.

- You steal his scarf sometimes with Time and Wind’s help

- He finds you and Wind wrapped inside of it leaning on time and his heart just- clenches, he has more siblings now!

- Then Warriors realizes he has another sibling… another sibling that will prank him…

- You two can be found discussing tactical strategies. Mostly him teaching you though since depending on the person not many people will know how to lead an army. Yet he is a good teacher and you catch on pretty quickly.

- Same with Twi, Warrior’s needs someone to pull him back sometimes it seems. Who better then to remind him then the person that already saw his lowest moment when his ego got the better of him?

- Seriously speaking. He wouldn’t come to you to talk. If anything he will try to avoid you if he wasn’t his best. In his head he has a reputation to uphold. Which will lead to a heart to heart. No sass. No banter. Just you and him sitting down to remind him that he is human.

- He needs a hug. Please give him a hug.

Sky:

- Sky actually didn’t recognize you at first!

- Yes he felt your presence and hear your voice in his adventure, but that was a while ago at this point. Also he isn’t as connected to magic as the others are.

- He does slowly befriend you despite everything.

- It wasn’t until you referred to a certain demon lord as a ‘B*tch A** Clown’ and a flood gate of memories open up for him. Memories of you cursing out Ghirahim, calling the imprisoned an ‘avocado with feet’ and so on.

- Nothing really changes between you two honestly, he just accepts it.

- If anything he becomes more open to you about everything, setting clear boundaries on what he doesn’t want to bring up. He will tell everyone about the curse eventually, but just hasn’t found a good opportunity too. Things like that.

- You do have to argue with Sky that the curse wasn’t his fault since you were also there when it was put on him, also the fact that he didn’t asked to be cursed in the first place.

- Most of the time you two are together its to get away from the chaos that the group of nine heroes could bring.

- Walking or sitting in silence is how you two end up most of the time together. It may not look like you two are bonding. There are some days while Sky is wood carving you would work on your small hobby as well. Then there are days he plays the harp and your reading.

- Despite it all he really enjoys the peace you bring. There is a sense of comfort that you have.

- When you and Sun finally meet. The first thing you ask him is to be invited to the wedding and it may or may not been in front of her too…

Wild:

- The recognition was really slow for him like Sky. Since Wild just got off of his first adventure he didn’t actually notice you were gone.

- It was until he realized that he couldn’t hear your panicked voice or snarky remarks when fighting in his head. That he finally realized you where outside of his head. He was quick to connects the dots after that.

- There was a moment where he didn’t know how to react since he just figured that you were just from his imagination.

- He now has another adventuring buddy with Hyurle! Though luckily you do keep the both of them from harm. Mostly because if something happens to them you will get in trouble with like Twi and Leg and thats never fun.

- Though you have your moments. Shield surfing and paragliding are on top of that list and Wild is all up for teaching you the ropes.

- The topic of the history of hyrule gets brought up a lot with the two of you. Since his era has a lot of connections to the past era’s. He is all up for learning about what came from where. Soon theories start to fly about.

- When You, Him and Flora are finally all together. There is nothing stopping you all from bouncing off theories. With your outside knowledge mixing with what they know. Things start to fall into place.

- The answer to why the timeline is like this doesn’t get answer. But hey! At least you all are having fun!

- If you can’t cook he will teach you that too! If you can! Well buckle up your going to share your knowledge with him whether you want to or not.

- Once you know how or get used to cooking while camping, you help him out a lot and its these moments where you both talk the most.

- It’s comforting to him to know he wasn’t alone this whole time.

Legend:

- As soon as you two locked eyes he felt instant dread. Yes he knew. No he isn’t going to opening up to you.

- Playful Insults to bond? Yeah that’s literally how he talks to everyone so no special treatment.

- He keeps you at a distance but its not actually working.

- You talk about his adventures so casually like it happened a few days ago. You avoid Link’s Awakening though. If you got hurt with the plot twist then you could only imagine the pain Leg went through.

- “I’m still trying to process the fact you married a tree.” “Hey remember that one time with Yuga, you slammed face first into a wall so hard you knocked yourself out?” “God do you not wear pants because of the fish thing?”

- This relationship is literally: Only I can bully this one.

- He fears the moment you meet Ravio and Fable knowing full well you all will bond over teasing him.

- Overall though he knows you got his back no matter what, to the point he finds himself confining in you slowly.

- Guess who is also teaming up with Hyrule to get Legend to sleep. It you.

- Once you probably have forced him to sleep by getting wolfie to lay on him. It was the wolf or yourself. In the end it was both of you and he was trapped.

- A sign that he was becoming soft towards you was when he started sharing his items with you. He trusts that you know how to use them and if you don’t he is actually willing to show you.

- He regrets giving the bee badge to you.

Hyrule:

- Another person that is drenched in magic. It only took one look at you for him to realize who you were.

- The two of you were awkward as anything at first. Since to you he never really spoken in his adventure so you didn’t know how to picture his personality.

- There’s a lot of mystery in your mind about him since again there isn’t much to go off of with what your given in game. It’s weird for him to hear about how you interpret his personality from that perspective.

- Hyrule didn’t honestly expect you to try and befriend him tbh. It mostly him over thinking it.

- You do follow him sometimes when he wants to wander around and explore. Mostly because you claim he finds the coolest things when he does.

- But its just a excuse to actually get to know him.

- The two of you trade stories and questions about each of your lives. There might be things you know that he might not know of about his adventure and his hyrule.

- Of course never going into to much details since there are things you couldn’t tell him.

- Hyrule honestly was dreading the day you all would land in his Era. He loves his home but is also very aware of it not being the most…welcoming place.

- So it’s more then surprising to him that there is even more then the glint of familiarity and excitement on your face. Knowing full well what dangers where a head of you, you still were open to exploring his world to the fullest.

- It’s honestly refreshing to see someone love his era as much as he does.

- Another boy that needs hugs, please give him a hug.

- You both cheer each other on though.

- This relationship is just aggressive support between you two and the others.

Four: (I’m actively mixing the Four Sword game and manga just to be clear.)

- Not sure if he would know exactly who you where since during the second adventure your voice and presence bounce between the four of them.

- Yet I also feel like he took after you because he was a child in his first adventure, which worries you a lot. Since you did have choice words for Vaati.

- The first to realize was Vio then it went Blue, Red and Green. Despite being in the same head it was just a theory they had over all. They all had their own ways of confirming it.

- Vio noticed the small things you do around Four. Like not stepping on their shadow, and covering Four when things got chaotic in their head. Small references here and there. When the two of you are alone he almost quizzes you about things. Just to see how much you know and to see if your telling the true or not.

- Blue recognize your mannerisms being something he picked up on during the first and second adventure. Only vaguely since again he was a child / there was only a small part only with him. Your fighting banter when your in battle made you see where Blue got his colorful language from…

- Your comfort was what clued Red in. He remembers your presence more clearly then the others from the first and second adventure. It was a comforting (yet chaotic) presence in their adventures that he latched on to. More so from his first adventure since as a kid he made an imaginary friend to process the fact he could sense and hear your presence. When you came back in the second time around it felt so natural for Red to have you there and really helped make him go forward through his small journey.

- For Green? It was a lot of things but when he see’s you treating each color differently when they are in charged. It’s a refreshing sight to be honest. He just enjoys hearing and seeing that his brothers had someone to confide in. Even when they switch who is in control you some how could tell and spoke to them accordingly.

- They were all some what surprise that none of the others picked up on your treatment of him swapping so much. Yet their also glad because their not ready to reveal themselves quiet yet.

- As Four or as you nicknamed him ‘Rainbow’ the two of you tend to sick together when the world’s shift around. Since his body needs more time to recover.

- You two are another pair that cheers each other on when the moral is low.

- He introduces you to the Minish! Getting you a jabber nut so you can speak to them too. You can’t shrink down to properly talk to them so this was the next best thing.

- The four of them makes you a dagger to bring home to remember him by, there’s a kin stone imbedded where the blade meets the hilt.

Wind: (hello self projection my dear friend)

- Wind didn’t recognize you ether at first, yet he didn’t even blink when you join everyone. He was fully on board with getting a new member and is easiest the most opened.

- It was when you two are alone together that something clicked in his head. You see during the Wind Waker he was alone most of the time when he was on land. So he had to face a lot by himself.

- Having you was reassuring to him when facing some of the monsters alone, especially with the puppet ganon fight. The two of you both agree that it was creepy.

- CHAOTIC SIBLINGS PART 2… well kinda

- Wind is a lot more mature then you realized but you two still have those moments.

- You, Aryll and Grandma get along too! So he and his family basically sees you and the chain as family.

- Pranking buddies! You’re targets would never know. Mostly because your covering up for him. You two team up with Four and Wild so the pranks can get chaotic at times.

- No matter what age you are compare to him and if your ok with it he does like platonic physical affection. Your going to be trading off with Warriors a lot of the time for cuddles or it’s the three of you together.

- You teaching him our worlds sea shanties and him teaching you his? Heck yeah! Even making up songs with the others is something on the table and in the works which is nice.

- It’s another thing to bring back home thats personalized!

Honestly since I’ve written all of this down I want to write the fic more. Though I’ll probably not only because idk if people would even read it lol. So it will just be a bunch of head canons. Anyway rambling is done.

#linked universe #linkeduniverse #lu headcanon #Isekai au

[utterlyinevitable]

hc about what happened in the time jump for the bryce and raf routes to fix this mess? Make the lack of progression make sense! please and thank you

Sorry it’s taken a while to get these two done, i’ve been too busy living in my carefully curated Ethan timeline 😅 You can find Ethan x MC During the Time Jump here. (raf will be another post) 

Bryce x MC During the Time Jump

After the gala, things weren’t that much different between them. 

The most notable difference was the intimacy. It seemed stronger, deeper. Effortless. 

They weren’t casual anymore that much was certain. They weren’t just fucking for fun. They were making love to last a life time. Their bodies knew one another in a tale as old as time.

But they’re both too timid to admit it. They won’t say the weighted phrase until they’re certain life and residency won’t tear them apart.

MC spent any free time she could having dinners with Keiki and Bryce. MC did most of the cooking but Bryce was the best sous chef learning how to adventure past pasta. The two doctor’s helping the teen out with her homework however they could. As smart as they are, they don’t understand Common Core...

But then Ethan turning the hospital into a greater version of the clinic meant MC was constantly busy. She barely even had 30 minutes to grab lunch. And sometimes she was even much too tired for drinks at Donahue’s.

Bryce had to lean on his surgical acquaintances a lot more now that his internal medicine buddies weren’t around. The clinic hadn’t trickled down to the surgical department; mostly because there were only so many ORs and you couldn’t rush procedures.

The week before Thanksgiving Bryce and Keiki were invited to MC’s apartment to celebrate with her roommates on their only day off together in weeks. 

Despite the exhaustion everyone felt, they were up early and super cheery. 

Sienna did most of the cooking with MC and Aurora lending a hand. Bryce and Jackie were on drinks duty and Elijah was in charge of entertainment. 

They all crowded around the dining table on the matching chairs and ones from their bedroom desks in order to accommodate. It was a mismatch but it was perfect. 

Conversation flowed freely and everyone said what they’re thankful for and what they think the upcoming year will hold.  

Then out of seemingly nowhere Keiki brought up boarding school.

Bryce looked at her with utter shock. The other’s asked questions about it. 

Keiki shrugged saying, “it’s just an idea. I can’t live with Bryce forever”. 

It was true, but doesn’t mean Bryce felt a little sad at his sister leaving all too soon.  

Christmas came sooner than anyone realized. 

MC saw her family the weekend before the holiday as became her tradition since med school. 

Since Bryce’s call to his mother about the funds to send Keiki to boarding school, she was sending him more messages and asking Keiki to come home for the holiday. She offered to pay for first class flights for her two darling children to come home. 

Both Lahela’s were against it.

Bryce took off as much time as he could to spend with the kid before she goes to school. But there’s only a handful of days he could take off at the busiest time of the year.

He managed to get Christmas and the day after off, and a half day on Christmas Eve.

Eve evening, Bryce came home to half priced decorations unceremoniously scattered about his living room, and Keiki and Mc standing on the couch trying to hang a daisy chain banner that looked like kindergarteners made it.

He couldn’t help but smile and pull MC into the biggest hug. She made everything 1000x better. 

The small family spent the evening eating and laughing and decorating the table top tree MC and Keiki picked up at the Walgreens down the street.

Cuddled up on the sofa in each other’s arms and Keiki on the makeshift bed she’d been sleeping on since her arrival, they watched classic Christmas movies and ate chocolate. It was perfect. 

Except MC had to work the next evening.

The amount of patients coming through Edenbrook’s doors tripled in the upcoming days and kept everyone busy.

Luckily the group of friends were able to spend New Years together. 

There wasn’t a single question as to if they were kissing at midnight. 

Bryce started kissing MC during the countdown; from her neck, up her jaw to her ear, cheeks, to the tip of her nose and then her lips at midnight. 

Shortly after the brief celebrations with the others, the two retired to her bedroom and kept ringing in the new year the right way.  

Keiki leaves for boarding school a few days after New Years. It was a very emotional journey down to Connecticut. 

Bryce was endlessly thankful MC accompanied him. Without her he’s pretty sure if would have cried a lot more on the drive home. And he probably would have stopped off at some sketchy gas station for a pick-me-up snack. Thankfully, MC suggested they hit Buffalo Wild Wings before entering the city instead. 

The couple thought Keiki being gone would give them more time together.

They were so wrong.

Mc got busier and busier and her time off didn’t coincide with his schedule, and everything got so damn complicated.

They hadn’t seen one another properly outside the hospital that wasn’t in passing in weeks.

So Bryce carved out some time around Valentine’s Day. 

MC was too busy to even realize the significance of the day. Every single day melded together to the point she didn’t know what was up or down, the month and barely clocked the time. 

She was leaning against the nurse’s station rapidly filling out charts when Bryce made a move. 

He slid up next to her, rubbed her shoulders and told her to take break with him. 

“Bryce I can’t I have patients. You see that line don’t you?”

“You haven’t taken lunch yet,” he said simply. He dropped his hands and turned around and called, “Hey Inès, MC is going on lunch!”

“Enjoy!” the senior resident called back. 

Bryce folded up the charts, handed them to Sarah behind the desk and dragged MC by both the wrists down the hall to the elevator. 

“Where are we going?” MC asked. 

Bryce may have set up a little rendezvous spot in a shut down inpatient wing. He had some take out he picked up from the café around the corner set up by the window and two clinical chairs. On the still-made bed was a stuffed bear holding a “Be Mine” heart and chocolate that he certainly did not steal from the gift shop. 

“The last time we were in one of these something really magical happened,” he said as he closed the door behind them. 

“The only thing magic was your hands.” MC wrapped her arms around his neck and pecked his lips. 

The evening of the group’s night on the town started off rough and stressful.

Bryce admitted he applied for a transfer to MK. He needs to be in Boston or really any hospital within driving distance of his sister’s school. She didn’t fly all the way out here just to be abandoned by him again.

MC understood - of course she understood his reason for staying here. She just didn’t know what to do for herself. They hadn’t talked about the long term, if they were going to try and be close. They hadn’t talked about their future at all, actually. The only times they did Keiki was the main subject. 

And she guessed she just had to apply to places and hope for the best. She knew where he’d be and now she needs to figure out if she fits into that.  

When applications got sad and boring the group got all dolled up and went out for a drink. Or six. Enough alcohol to forget the awkwardness that was earlier in their apartment. To forget the looming uncertainty of their unofficial relationship. 

Bryce was committed. MC was committed. They just weren’t vocal about their devout commitment. 

They got so drunk and ended up at the helipad on top of Edenbrook.

Cracking beers in hand, dancing and singing and enjoying the evening to it’s fullest. Bryce held her close and they lamented on the view as they sat against the wall, anticipating the sunrise over the horizon. 

The nightly breeze picked up. He rubbed patterns up and down her arms and she drew circles at his inner thigh. 

MC looked at him, their eyes locking.

Bryce’s lips turned upwards in a weighted smile. MC leaned her forehead against his and let out the sigh she didn’t know she was holding in. 

He kissed the corner of her mouth. Then her cheek. Then her nose. Then her neck. Her hands gripping to the lapels of his sports coat. 

They went back to his place and they didn’t talk about the future at all. Both of them clinging to the here and now. 

That evening they didn’t have sex. They held one other the entire night. They fell asleep to the sound of the other’s heartbeat.  

Small pleasantries were exchanged in the morning along with light kisses. 

For another time that year, they both felt the change. 

Edenbrook’s last day came and they were both in their feelings. Bryce was set to start at MK in a few weeks time and MC still didn’t know where she was going. Not a single application response on the east coast had come back yet. 

Bryce was standing outside with his best friends when the lights of Edenbrook finally went off that fateful day. 

Minutes later MC walked out. He noticed how her features, mood and hopes simultaneously fell lower than he’d seen in a while.

Her eyes found him right away, his arms waiting for her. She melted into his hug. Deep in his embrace with all her friends chattering around them, a part of her hoped they could compromise. There was so much more to explore between them. This couldn’t be the end. 

The entire Boston Bucket List event was bittersweet. As much as they enjoyed the escapades and these memories with their friends Bryce and MC just wanted some time alone. They needed time together to combat the unknown. 

By the time it was MC’s turn she chose a total cop-out. A kiss with Bryce. 

A kiss she hoped encompassed every feeling she was too scared to say. A kiss that told him just how much the uncertainty of their future was eating her up inside. A kiss he desperately needed as well. 

________________________________________

Masterlist

Perma:

@rookiemarsswiftie​ @lucy-268​ @binny1985​ @thegreentwin​ @queencarb​ @danijimenezv​ @starrystarrytrouble​ @terrm9​ @interobanginyourmom​ @adrex04 @maurine07​ @mercury84choices @schnitzelbutterfingers​ @theeccentricbibliophile @wingedhairstylemusicweasel​ @whimsicallywayward15​​ @mvalentine​ @rookie-ramsey​ @drariellevalentine​ @lifeaskim @otherworldlypresents​​ @therookie​​ @aylaramseycarrera​​ @angela8754​ @fireycookie @stateofgracious​ @missmiimiie​​ @uneravine​​  @homeformyheart​ @choicesaddict5​​ @iemcpbchoices

Bryce

@eleanorbloom @weaving-in-words

Bryce HCs

@aworldoffandoms

#Anonymous #asked #bryce lahela #bryce lahela x mc #bryce x mc #open heart #open heart hc #open heart headcanons

[revchainsaw]

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Sonic: The Hedgehog (2020)

Greeting my flock of film freaks and welcome again to the Cult of Cult. Todays offering is a bit more of the mainstream blockbuster variety, but as films based on Video Games are still actually quite niche and vastly underestimated I think we should open our hearts to Sonic: The Hedgehog and hope that we find it a pleasing tithe to the cult. I am your beloved minster, The Reverend Chainsaw, and welcome to today’s service.

The Message

I must confess to the congregation that I was drinking mighty heavily of the lord’s Tennessee sour mash when I was taking in this movie. That said, I think that this is a great movie to have a drink with and I mean that in the best possible way. 

Sonic: The Hedgehog is of course based on the Sega video game franchise and stars Ben Schwartz as the titular blue rat. Schwartz brings his brand of high energy enthusiastic comedy to the voice role. While Schwartz is particularly on brand for Schwartz, is he on brand for Sonic? I’m not entirely sure, but I’m also not entirely sure I was ever in love with the old ways. I am not an avid fan or consumer of Sonic media and perhaps that means I am in a poor position to say. I am most familiar with the Sega games and Sonic cartoons from the 90s, and from what I have grasped the more recent entries with their more anime centric and high lore plots still owe quite a bit to the attitude era of the 90s. Sonic was a hero but he was also a bit of a cross between Mickey Mouse, the Flash, and Bart Simpson. As an angsty 90s boy I wanted to eat chili dogs and go very fast that was very appealing to me, but I’m not so sure it would be appealing to a vast audience of older millennials, or even todays kids. And though I think it would be a fair criticism to say that Ben Schwartz is playing sonic as basically the superhero version of his Dewey Duck from the VERY VERY good DuckTales reboot, I don’t think that it’s necessarily a bad thing. 

Dewey Duck the Hedgehog is a small mammal (also not a rodent, I wanted to say rodent and apparently hedgehogs are not rodents, just googled it) from an alien planet where his adoptive mother, an owl named Long Claw, fears that he will be hunted for his special powers, which I think is just super speed but it might be other things. In line with these concerns after an attack by pursuers Longclaw gives Sonic the Moses treatment and floats the special blue boy down the metaphorical river. Unlike Moses, however, Sonic is not found by ultra rich ultra powerful extra special people but is instead alone. Sonic lives alone in exile outside a small American town as a sort of local cryptid.

Thus begins a charming adventure. Through a poor decision to use his powers while working out some personal issues, Sonic inadvertantly draws the attention of the U.S Government and their nasty big brain baddy Dr. Robotnik. Sonic recruits a small town police officer with big city dreams to assist him in finding his magic rings so that he might flee from earth to an uninhabited mushroom kingdom. 

Now about these two human characters. Officer Everyman is played by cyclops from the X-men franchise. The actors name escapes me and so does the characters, and while, yes, I just looked up if hedgehogs were rodents, I will not be looking up this information. I like the review better this way. It makes me laugh. And while I don’t remember his name, I do remember that he used to live In Mt. Juliet, TN.  Anyway, what you should know about Officer Goodguy is that he drives a Toyota Tacoma!

That Toyota Tacoma is also continuously abused by the mad machinations of our films biggest draw: Jim Carey as Dr. Robotnik. If we were to pitch a Sonic movie, I don’t think anyone would jump to Jim Carey as the must have for the role, but after seeing this film, boy was it the best choice. The way he chews the scenery and plays off the rest of the cast and situations is just so much fun to watch. It’s fantastic to see Jim Carey back in a larger than life role. The Decision to play Jim Carey as the kind of condescending nerd who has taken their lack of social skills and leaned in as opposed to working on themselves was a brilliant choice. We’ve all known that kind of guy who tries to play the misanthrope just because they are too egotistical to recognize their flaws. Here Dr. Robotnik has given up on human connection in favor of subordination. His intellect is his only value, and thus he demands everyone around him acknowledge intellect as the only quality that matters as he has. It was a great choice.

From the point the chase begins the film becomes a road trip flick, and despite the fact that Sonic could supposedly cover the distance required in the blink of an eye we watch the ins and outs of our heroes relationship as they learn what home, and being a hero mean to them. By the climax it is pretty by the numbers, Sonic has come to feel at home on Earth and now that he has friends who care for him they can begin to make a world from which neither will have to flee; and of course, they beat the bad guy. FOR NOW. we are treated to an even crazier Dr. Robotnik stranded in the Fungus Dimension bent on revenge.

The Benediction

Now for all things Holy and Profane in this film, please rise for the Benediction.

Best Scandal: Sonic the Cosmic Horror

The original look of this film was mired in dread when the early footage and trailers dropped revealing a hideously uncanny hedgehog monster in the form of sonic. The memes are amazing, the toys are unsettling, there’s still plenty of Quasimodo Sonic stuff out there floating on the web and I suggest that you search it out, the laughter is good for your heart. Also if anyone wants to send me any creepy sonic merch I’ll take it. 

Thanks to the work of online fans and internet harassments, the studio felt it was going to lose money on the project and reeled back the release allowing for the design department to give us a more cartoony but less frightening alien monster. I mean he’s a cartoon, it’s okay for him to look like a cartoon. 

Best Scene: Noodle Dance

It’s hard to choose, and it feels a bit biased, but there are a few scenes with Dr. Robotnik that are just what make the movie more than a forgettable IP adaptation. Not that Ben Schwartz wasn’t doing great as the character but I feel Sonic as a whole would be lost in the milieu of CG spectacles and Super Hero Origin stories that we are bombarded with every year if not for Jim Carey’s performances; and even with them Sonic: The Hedgehog is not completely out of those woods. That said, I think Dr. Robotnik’s Alone Time Dance Party has to be the stand out sequence in my memory. I can’t really speak to what makes it so enjoyable, but damn if it isn’t just the best scene in the movie.

Best Character: Silicon Valley Dr. Robotnik

Do I even need to say it? It’s Dr. Robotnik. I’m not a fan of this villain from any other media. I always found Dr. Robotniks look unappealing, I’m not a huge fan of his powers, or using robot henchman. it always struck me as pretty boring how Sonic didn’t have a cool rogues gallery (i’m talking about 90s sonic) the way Mario did. However, they did something with the design, characterization, and performance that just made him such a fun villain. Also, my friend Jacksons mom said I looked like him and it didn’t hurt my feelings so.

Best Actor: Jim Carey

Jim Carey. It really seems like he’s all I’m talking about in this movie. Once again, I think Ben Schwartz did great and Sonic IS basically Dewey Duck in this movie. Dewey Duck is my favorite part of the rebooted DuckTales series, BUT he is just outmaneuvered by Jim Carey in this role. I think it’s a compliment enough to say that Ben Schwartz was even able to keep up with his energy, let alone play his quicker perkier foil. 

Worst Scene: Toyota Tacoma Commercial

Sonic: the Hedgehog’s worst scene would probably have to be the forced friend fight between Sonic and Officer Wachowski  during the car chase. It’s an overproduced weightless car chase scene with a contrived buddy cop controversy meant to force apart our heroes so that they can ultimately grow a little and come back together later in the movie. Not that I mind a movie like this to be so by the numbers, but it just felt like two of the blandest things on this movies plate being forced into one scene. I do like the idea of giving me the crap part of the dish in one flavorless generic bite, but that still doesn’t save it from being the worst scene in the movie. 

That Toyota Tacoma took a beating though.

Worst Feature: Nothing Ventured/ Nothing Earned

I’m sure many fans would feel that the worst feature of the film is that it isn’t loyal to any previous lore laden version of the character, (probably the one they like the most). In the portrayals of both Sonic and Dr. Robotnik there were decisions made that drastically differed from the ways they have been portrayed before. Sonic is naïve and idealistic, a bit childish, Dr. Robotnik is driven by a lot of insecurity. Where are the Chaos Crystals and my original character Grindy the Wolf Cub?

But I think that these are over all positive choices in a film that otherwise chose to play it incredibly safe. In their cautious approach to appeal to the widest possible audience the film makers gave us a pleasant and appealing cartoon romp but we are left with little to hold on to. The worst feature of Sonic: The Hedgehog is it’s safety.

Summary:

Sonic: The Hedgehog is often touted as “the first good video game movie”. A label that I disagree with wholeheartedly. It is certainly a good video game movie, but it’s not the first, and it is not by leaps and bounds better than other video game movies as a whole. It’s a sub genre that gets a ton of disrespect, and in a world where the biggest criticism levied against the Super Mario Bros is that it’s not a faithful adaptation, I don’t understand how Sonic the Buddy Cop/ Road Trip comedy is escaping that attitude.

All that said, I had a good time with this movie. But it felt like playing on the playground as a toddler. You have fun and then you leave and you don’t really remember what you played or who with. I’ll think about Jim Carey and Dewey Duck, but I had a hard time hating or loving anything this movie did in any strong way. I usually feel that a movie that is “bad” or “corny” or “shlocky” is always better than a movie that is generic, or pointless, or boring. Sonics pleasantness and cheerful energy just barely save it from being another Transformers franchise. I get that origin stories are hard, so I’m eagerly awaiting the next installment, and hopefully it’s going to do something that sets it apart. Probably not. 

Overall Grade: C

James Marsden! I just remembered!

#Sonic: The Hedgehog #2020 #2020s #video game #sonic #hedgehog #alien #action #super hero #adventure #buddy #road trip #jim carey #james marsden #ben schwartz #scifi #science fiction #dr #dr robotnik #robotnik #C #Grade C #scientis #mad scientist #(C)

[glasyasbutch]

Based on this post. 

im gonna do what rebekah did and discuss the potential of oc /oc ships. However i have 10 of them on this blog and i will not be doing this 45 times so im limiting myself to active ocs only, which puts me at 16, which is still a lot but this blog is for me and im a slut for my own characters. (I tried to do it in the tags but tumblr cut me off cause its lesbophobic.) lets get crackin.

gildy/anyone: no. thats grandma. now this isn't to say that i won't ship gildy with anyone; i have before and will again; but it's got to be someone her own age which no other oc is close to (rip to that one npc who made magic ceramics in her first campaign that i was tryna date before the campaign fell apart)  Verdict: No Cradle Robbing

craving/tov: oh GOD it would go so bad . they both hate themselves so much and manifest it as a brusque aggressiveness they'd fucking attack each other within hours. even a one night stand might be pushing the limits of their patience. Verdict: Do Not Recommend

craving/ezra: i would LOVE to watch these two sit down and talk about philosophy; because they have genuinely the exact opposite takes on life. they both got dunked on and had someone important taken from them at a young age and craving said FUCK IT im gonna be mean since the world hates me and ezra said FUCK IT im gonna be nice and hope the world loves me back eventually. and it would be so fucking interesting to see them try and convince the other why they're right. however. should not date. Verdict: Bad Romantic Material

craving/nissy: this would go literally the exact same way as nissy and zier. like the ExACT same way. they'd find each other attractive at first; make it a few weeks or something; the sexiness would wear off and they'd find each other insufferable but Not want to break up because they're stubborn and also getting something out of dating the other one. (craving likes that nissy's rich and also his cool shadow guy; nissy likes that craving's all about 'fuck the system' and also maybe a teensy little bit is into the idea of getting a glasya pact too). if they were to meet nakoria in this universe they also would both fuck her and then not tell the other about it. Verdict: Hilarious But Unsustainable.

craving/ebbie: i literally can't even conceptualize this. i c. i can't. i think ebbie would be genuinely terrified of craving. Verdict: No.

craving/roona: Ohhhhhhhh YES baby. mischief squad in the fucking HOUSE. they would get along absolutely fantastically i think. No impulse control, so many crimes! neither of them would really be ones to try and make it work long term but they'd have a fucking AMAZING couple months together and part on good terms. Plus craving has a thing for short girls Verdict: Good Short Term Ship.

tov/ezra: other people would ship them because they have such similar vibes. but i dont think either of them necessarily would want to date for exactly that reason. now you might say but didnt tov fall in love with savra because they have similar backstories? yes BUT they're at very different points in their recovery. ezra and tov are too close. come back to it once both their campaigns are over and they might make a very sweet couple. Verdict: Slow Burn 250k Words

tov/nissy: i feel like tov would take one look at nissy and kind of just. leave. nissy would be into tov tho. he likes the rugged bad boy vibes. he'd think he was mysterious and handsome. and we know he seems to have a thing for sorcerers. Verdict: One Sided Crush

tov/ebbie: they'd get along Really well but it'd be more of a mentor/mentee dynamic. they both like to build things and want to find simple softness in the world but don't trust that they can have it. ebbie has a much more excited and babbly demeanor bc he's a Loud Anxious and tov is much more laid back and calmer because he’s a Quiet Anxious. tov would see him as a kid that’s probably gonna turn out ok, but i dont know if he’d really be able to tell that ebbie’s got some fucked up in there. ebbie would be way better at seeing through tov’s walls, and would follow him around almost like a lost dog bc tov like. Actually Gets Him and he wants to learn as much as he can and you know what if there’s a baby crush there, there’s a baby crush there. Verdict: I Hate To Say It But This One’s A Notice Me Senpai

tov/roona: roona would call tov a narc within 30 seconds of meeting him and any Possible feelings on his end would die instantly. Roona would be far more into teasing him than into him. It’d be a cute dynamic where they act like they can’t stand each other and insist that they’re not even friends but like when it comes down to it, they have a fairly good time together and will defend each other against anyone else trying to fuck with them. Bonus Points for them both being super gullible.  Verdict: Only I Get To Be Mean To Them

ezra/nissy: on paper, they’re both like trying to be heroic good guys and struggling a little bit, so they should get along. But like in practice. Oh my god. they couldn’t fucking STAND each other but they’d have to because they’re trying to do the same things more or less and like, Ezra is trying SO HARD to find selflessness in Nissy and Nissy is trying SO HARD to make Ezra care literally At All about himself, and anyone who interacts with them trying to adventure is kinda just like uh ...... you know i’ll just wait while you two work this out. Verdict: Buddy Cop Dynamic

ezra/ebbie: i really don’t have strong feelings about this one like, i think they’d get along fine. they’re both just kinda dudes trying to do good and they’d vibe with each other but they’re not quite as similar as ebbie and tov to have any kind of strong dynamic. it’s like when two bus drivers wave at each other while passing in the street and its like YAHOO for one second and then they’ve passed each other. Verdict: If You’re Into Bland Ships To Self Project On

ezra/roona: very good friendship dynamic here. ezra knows that there’s good in roona and is content to wait with her while it worms its way out, and roona is glad to have someone to check her and occasionally get talked into doing some stupid shit. ezra gets a new baby sister, roona gets a second vinny. Verdict: It’s Familiar But Not Too Familiar

nissy/ebbie: ajskdfjsdjfisdjfsakfdjfdsakljfisaodf sadfkdsajfasdjfasfsdfjsiof hsadfjsdfsahfsdfjsdoifhsdf Verdict: Hhsdfkjasdhiuf 

ebbie/roona: so. ebbie has had to deal with an unstable 11 year old before, and keep her out of trouble, and roona has had a vinny to pull her out of bad situations before, so they like. Half understand the dynamic between them. Ebbie’s too much of a pushover though, or Roona’s too little of one, and so instead of like being a voice of reason that actually stops the bad ideas ebbie’s more just getting dragged into situation after situation that he is NOT comfortable and having to smooth everything over when all’s said and done. and like, they still enjoy each other’s company when they’re not in deep shit. they both lean pretty heavily towards same gender rather than not, so like they probably wouldn’t be into each other, but there’s a slight chance.   Verdict: Disney Channel Original Movie Protagonist + Scared Best Friend Dynamic

nissy/roona: you’d think it’d go badly, and by all accounts it should, but it doesn’t. nissy loves how spontaneous and wild roona is and loves the freer side of him that it brings out, and roona likes nissy’s careful intelligence that can be equally well applied to proper societal actions and also stupid pranks. low wis gang gets each other’s impulsiveness and doesn’t judge when things go wrong, but they’re always by each other’s sides to help get the other out of a pickle. they both stick out like sore thumbs in a crowd and don’t mind bouncing around from place to place because home isn’t really somewhere they want to head back to, but it’s alright, because they have consistency in each other. god fucking damn it i’m actually into this.  Verdict: Bastards In Love

#craving #tov #gildy #ezra #nissy #ebbie #roona #long post

[adventures-in-progress]

life updates!

so in the spirit of radical authenticity imma be completely transparent about some life stuff shaking out for us right now and why i’ve kinda been on and off the grid for a little over a year now. i’ve realized it’s really difficult to create meaningful connections with people when both parties aren’t being honest and true, so here’s me laying it all out. basically butt naked. i’ve only shared this with like 2 people in real life, so what the heck might as well share this with a bunch of total and complete strangers for the sake of meaningful connection! this is probs gonna be fairly wordy so here’s a page break so i don’t eat up someone’s entire dash haha.

1. since undergoing a lot of personal growth stuff and trying to define what this big adventure called life means for me, it’s been really hard for me to post on here. it just hasn’t felt in alignment for me to do so and trying to be present on here otherwise has felt a lot like forcing it any slapping on a happy face when, in all honesty, there’s been a lot of feeling very not happy. i’ve also felt like i’ve had to fit this certain image that i was when a lot of faces decided to join me on my journey, and so posting on here started feeling a lot like doing it for other people than continuing to do it for myself. so, i stepped back. i didn’t feel like people would understand, i didn’t feel like wanting to remember some heartache and icky stuff that happened, and i didn’t want to post stuff until i wanted to post stuff for me and because it was fun again. it was a healthy break and much needed.

2. i’m finally getting out of a funk that’s lasted a couple months and has been really not fun. i feel like my natural, uninhibited state is joyful and bright and optimistic and that got really tainted and hidden. i lost my hope in humanity and felt like all my dreams and goals were impossible and far from reach. things just felt kinda hopeless and that feeling was so scary because that’s so, so not me. i’m the girl that everyone calls childlike and naive because i believe in dreams and fairies and angels and magic and that love always prevails and that everyone should do what they love, with their soulmate, and live happily ever after. i lost that, and that was terrifying, because i didn’t know how to get back. but i think when you get deep enough into the self help arena, you reach this point where it all really comes down to being happy and doing what you love. regardless of anything. and i think we’re all just looking for permission to do that big, terrifying thing that makes our heart flutter and our stomach churn in knots. at the end of the day, you were born here, on this green and blue ball whirling through space, with your specific dreams and desires for a purpose. and i believe you are meant to do something with that, regardless of whether you receive money, or fame, or recognition for it. i realized over the summer that i’ve spent sooooo much time and energy and emotional investment trying to fix things for people and save people and help them accomplish their dreams, all the while completely neglecting and ignoring my own desires and dreams. and honestly, that’ll slowly kill ya. if you’re not living your life for yourself, why the heck are you even here???? what’s the point???

3. me pursuing running was a total cop out. it’s been my backup plan because i’ve been too terrified of pursuing ~the thing~ and getting my heart broken, so this was the safe alternative. minimal emotional investment. still get to achieve things and work towards something. but here’s the dang thing. the universe/god/whatever you want to call it wants you to do the thing, and is going to do what it can to get you there. cue multiple running injuries and setbacks. like one after the next after the next. it just was not working. and when i finally got to that place where i realized that this was not working, i lost it. because it made me realize that i felt like i couldn’t have running or the other thing. but not because i couldn’t do the thing, but because my brain killed that option off in my head because it wasn’t safe. the emotional risk was too high. what if i gave it my all and failed???? what if it never worked and i never got there???? and many other numerous intense irrational fears. BUT if you don’t ever go for what makes you feel excited to get out of bed even if it makes you want to pee your pants and question your sanity, WHAT IS THE POINT OF ANY OF THIS???? to live a boring, stable, mediocre life? to live a safe life is to choose boredom and misery for the rest of your life because it’s “comfortable” and “safe” according to your brain, and i reached the point that i just couldn’t do it anymore. i couldn’t be miserable and “safe” anymore. it was killing me.

4. so last month, i spent a couple days in an intense, intense internal emotional battle with myself. wanting to commit (let alone admit that i even wanted) to pursuing my dreams, but being so fucking terrified at the same time. and i understand that it sounds so stupid! like looking back, i’m like WHY was that SO hard???? your brain can be a huge pain in the ass, let me tell ya. sweet dan snuggled me one night when i was really struggling and talked me through things while being the voice of reason to my irrational fears and got me to the place where i could finally admit that i wanted to do the thing. and holy moly just admitting to something like that will change your dang life. it was like a woosh of tension and stress and weight just left my body. like that. done.

5. so here i am, like 3 weeks later, finding myself. going back to 7 year old me with the dreams and the joy and the possibility. looking for the good and finding it. mentally committing to going for it, whatever the hell that means or will even look like. but it has radically transformed my life in the best of ways. i’m killing any and all “have tos” and “shoulds” in my life. i’m doing what feels fun and breezy and brings the light back into my eyes. it’s all baby steps, and i still falter and fall, but i can feel where i’m going to be and finding my way back easier and quicker every time. i’m telling you, this is what makes life worth living. 

6. dan’s also realized his life calling and dream this past month (yeah. october’s been real big for us hahah)!!! he’s gone from working at the fbi in d.c. to going to become an agent for the fbi office in milwaukee to meeting me (love will change your life in more ways than you realize) and not realizing what the heck he wants to do, to landscaping, flipping houses, and over the summer realizing he wants to be an architect that specializes in modern, organic, sustainable architecture. we’re looking at schools for him for next fall. :)

7. right now, dan’s boss just bought a new house on lake michigan as the next flip. we’re doing a proposal for a modern flip to this two story ranch in the next week or so, so if that goes through, prepare to see some fun house renovation progress pics! we’re really excited for the opportunity, and my dad (a prominent architect in mke) is overseeing our project and helping dan which is just going to be so, so cool. it’ll be soooo much fun if it happens, so fingers crossed!!!!

oh! if you’re wondering what the heck the thing is for me, it’s horses. it always has been. it’s been in there since is was 5 or 6. i don’t know how this dream is going to shake out, but it’s mine, and i’m owning it.

if you need permission to go for it, if you need a sign, this is it. it is worth it. the universe/god/whatever is not going to give you a dream that it will not fully support you in achieving. you just gotta fucking go for it. it’s scary, but we’re all in this together and there’s nothing more badass and fulfilling than going for it. if you need a dream buddy, reach out. i will 100000% support you.

#big things #rachelsrambles #because clearly EVERYONE missed my several thousand word rants hahaha #if you read this i sincerely thank you for spending the time to do so #and i hope this resonates with you in some way :) #also #all of this is my own opinions about my own life #so don't take this personally if you don't like it!

[shirtlesssammy]

14x07: Unhuman Business

Then:

LaLaLa, this is not happening, LaLaLa

Now:

Uh, something seems to be wrong with my TV. Just Lucifer Nick blabbering on about his family and his regret for killing people that won’t help him find who killed his family.

At the bunker, Jack is not doing great, guys. Cas is attempting to heal him, but whatever is wrong with Jack is beyond his angel powers.

As the boys discuss their impossible situation, Jack falls to the floor, coughing blood and foaming at the mouth. They rush him to the hospital ASAP. 

Worried Dad Dean is HIGH MAINTENANCE, but I’ll forgive his overbearing ways. Jack is in deep trouble. First, the hospital just needs some basic data, like name and date of birth, both of which the Winchesters fumble on. Jack’s a Winchester you doofs! And I guess Jack is 18. And his dad exploded. Jack then collapses and the medical staff rush him to a room, Sam, Dean, and Cas by his side. 

(That framing tho)

God, my TV buzzed out again. Please stand by while I figure out WHY WE SHOULD CARE ABOUT NICK. He talks to a reporter and learns there was a cop, Frank Kellogg, who was patrolling Nick’s neighborhood the night his family died.

At the hospital, Jack’s tests results all came back negative. They’re going to have to run more tests. (Lol, I love how all of this is put in the vaguest way possible. Like not all tests are positive or negative, and what are they testing for?) The one thing they do know: His body is in complete systemic shutdown. (I read on Twitter the friendly reminder that you’re not a real hunter until you’ve died and come back again. Coolcoolcoolcoolcool.)

The brothers decide it’s time to explore other options: Rowena. Dean suggests calling her. Sam already did. (Samwitch! --my Saileen heart hates me every time I goof about this) (Natasha: SAME) The doctor walks in on the boys dressing Jack to leave. AND LET ME JUST FALL INTO A PIT OF EMOTION watching Cas put his coat on Jack.

ROWENA arrives as fast as she can (like, oof, there isn’t anything in this for her. She just showed up to help the Winchesters? Guh.) She thinks Dean is in trouble, but Sam reveals it’s really Jack, Lucifer’s son. Rowena’s out. Before she bolts though, Jack works his magic nougat ways.

Rowena breaks the bad news that without Jack’s grace, his nephilim body can’t sustain itself. Cas offers up his own grace to save him. I’M NOT CRYING, YOU’RE CRYING! As Ro is nixing that idea, Dean’s vision starts to blur and his hearing warbles in and out. 

Not sure what was happening in this next Nick scene. He’s weird around a woman in an alley. She invites him back into the bar (WHY?) (Natasha: WHYYYYYYYY?) and then he secretly pulls a knife. In a brief moment of clarity, he yells at her to get away and she runs. And for the record: the giant neon S stands for Satan.

At the bunker, Overprotective Dean brings Jack a sandwich and milk. PURE. Jack is packing up and ready to hit the road, live a little before he dies. I’M NOT DYING, YOU’RE DYING.

Dean gets some serious dimples of discontent after listening to Jack but he’s not disagreeing with the boy.

Sam and Cas AND Rowena are on the research train. Cas presides over a mountain of books while Rowena and Sam call everyone they think might be able to help the poor young wee nephilim.

Dean gets the updates. The books are a bust, but Sam talked to Ketch, who has tipped them off about a shaman who might help. Dean takes all this in...maybe? In actuality, Dean wavers in and out of focus again. Oh, Dean Bean. Cas offers to tackle the shaman lead and the Winchesters can stay behind to look out for Jack. Enter Jack, with backpack, ready for adventure! Dean and Jack are heading out, to Castiel’s disapproval.

A little while later, Dean and Jack pick up some burgers and Dean tosses Baby’s keys to wee Jack. It’s driving lesson time! There’s so much wrapped up in this scene: Dean’s stunted childhood, his incredible capacity to nurture, Jack’s hero worship. MY HEART is wrapped up in this scene. They ease out on the road and Jack gains confidence quickly.

Dean turns on some tunes and BTO’s “Let it ride” sets the mood. Classic rock is such an important aspect of this show, and we didn’t realize how much we missed it as a set piece until this scene of open road driving.

(I’ll confess that I spent the first viewing of this scene ready for Jack to pass out and the car to careen dramatically off the road. I’m glad it didn’t.)

Cas heads out to find Sergei the shaman but before he goes, he talks with Sam about Dean’s reaction to Jack’s illness. “He seems to be taking this particularly hard,” Castiel observes. Sam tells him that Dean feels bad for the time he spent wishing Jack a swift and painful death at the beginning of last season.

Heartbreaking dialogue alert:

Sam: He’s lost people. We’ve all lost people but…

Cas: This feels different. Losing a son feels different.

But stow away those emotions, friends, because it’s time to go back to fun!Dad Dean. They’re eating more fast food, pulled over on the side of the road. “I’m a driver!” Jack announces gleefully. Yes, bby. Dean suggests a bar with promising hook-up potential. (Me: flashes back to Dean’s “Last night on Earth” speech with Cas back in season 4...and like, all of season 3.) Jack’s got other plans.

Nick finds Frank Kellogg, brings up the bare facts of his case, and then pushes Frank inside and holds him by the throat. Time to chat.

By a tumbling, small river, Jack gets into Dean’s deepest emotions like he’s ordering an ice cream shake at a diner. While they fish, Jack casually brings up that Dean and his father went fishing and that it was one of Dean’s happiest memories of him. Dean tries to dissemble, but Jack’s sure as a rock. (Now, there’s been some discussion about whether this was meant to refer to John or Bobby. My vote’s heavily on John. Dean loved his father, was disappointed by him, and longed for many things he could never have at the same time. Fishing with John Winchester was probably a shocking circle of calm - a pool of stillness and peace.)

Jack tells Dean that he wouldn’t miss the big, showy things in the world. Instead, he’d miss more time with Dean and the other people in his life.

Dean BARELY holds it together, a quaver in his voice as he returns, “Who’d’ve thought time with me would make you sentimental?” Dean. Bean.

Meanwhile, Cas drives his adorable blue car to meet Sergei the shaman. He’s immediately enveloped in a circle of holy fire. Thanks, buddy.

Sergei lives in a pimped out trailer, with flowers painted on the exterior and lushly colored and patterned textiles draped all over the interior. He proposes a “recharging agent” for Jack - something to shock his system and derail the degeneration. He offers Cas archangel grace (purportedly from Gabriel) and a spell to activate it. And the cost is simply that the Winchesters will owe him a favor. Sounds like a hell of a price to me.

Meanwhile Nick beats the shit out of Frank Kellogg. We learn that Nick’s neighbor saw Frank leave his house the night of the murders and the cops made him cover it up. Frank confesses that he met a man named Abraxis outside of Nick’s house and the next thing he knew, he was covered in blood. Frank was possessed by a demon which is some crazy ass shit, right? Sigh. Nick kills Frank horribly anyway, in a scene that goes on for WAY too long.

WAY the fuck too long.

In a giant breath of fresh air, we get back to the bunker, once again full of TFW 2.0 and Rowena Our Queen. They hand Jack the grace and it enters his body as Rowena chants the spell. Lights flicker. Jack’s eyes glow golden again. It’s worked!

Jack stumbles and falls again, worse than before.

Cas chews out Sergei via phone call and Sergei defends himself by saying that “science is sometimes trial and error.” It’s...awfully reminiscent of Michael’s experimentation, yes? It also reminds me of real world experimental parallels - now and throughout history. In a word: yikes.

Side note: Having once had a loved one’s body try to shut down in the ICU with no discernible cause...this episode really did hit home for me. It’s so easy in fiction to have a magical healing ability, and so much harder when there’s no explanation, no quick cure, and treatments that have your doctors crossing their fingers. I feel for all these dudes, and the doctors as well, is what I’m saying.

Anyway, Cas is pissed, and vows to smite Sergei’s ass if Jack dies.

For Vengeful Science

At Frank’s house, Nick prays to Lucifer and begs him to come back. In the blackness of the Empty, what looks like the Empty entity morphs into being and its eyes glow Lucifer-red. Well, fuck. (I’m actually excited to see the Empty again, but I am quite displeased about Lucifer.)

In the bunker, TFW mourns Jack’s rapidly failing condition. Rowena counsels them to stay by his side, for death approaches on swift wings.

Root Beer Quotes:

He’s sick, his name is Jack Kline, his father exploded.

Samuel, I thought we were beyond this.

Well, if it’s grace he needs, he can have mine.

Eyes on the road.

This is the best day ever!!!

Born with a wheel in your hand, huh?

Life isn’t all these big, amazing moments. It’s time together that matters.

Life - all of it - is a risk.

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn spoilers #spn recap #spn 14x07 #unhuman nature #dean winchester #sam winchester #castiel #cas #jack kline #rowena #nick #supernatural season 14

[oldboyjensrps]

Jensen’s Preferences

Themes and Preferences

tagged by the rad: @bluteamblueprints

aka, things i’ve always wanted to ask people / have people ask me. please remember to repost rather than reblog!  Getting put under the cut as to not clog dashboards.

what types of genres do you gravitate towards?

Well jeepers I’m a fan of balancing comedy and serious shit, and also a fuckin sucker for romantic shtuff. Found family? HOO YEAH THAT’S THE SHIT. I also enjoy a good spicy thread as long as it’s balanced with humor and actual character work.

Action/adventure? Sign me the funck up. Add in magic or fantasy? Sure why in the not? Monstrous characters that can be sweeties also? Check mate, mate. Also just monsters can be fun.

Tragecomedy is neat. I like to mix my genres like a child at soda fountain.

what types of genres do you gravitate away from?  

Angst for angst’s sake. Like I said above, I really am more of a “mix and balance” type writer, and often overly angsty threads die fast or at least get... very tiresome. Doesn’t mean I won’t accept an angst based starter or send one, but it might turn a little silly as well since I’m rping in the tf2niverse. in order to keep things gloomy it takes a lot of negating character progression (since people tend to remain sad for a while in real life) and I’m trained to “yes and.” Also it brings back cringey memories from olden days.

Smut without chemistry or character development. Rushed romance lands here too.

What type of characters do you play often?

    Oh boy uh. Mmmm.... sarcastic. Characters. Women who are very terrifying and dangerous but also goofy and awkward? Also men who are terrifying and dangerous but also goofy and awkward. And nonbinary characters who are terrifying and dangerous but also goofy and awkward. Characters heavily inspired by the Golden Girls and Hawkeye Pierce. Uh, and self inserts. It’s actually really interesting to try and look at what you, as a character, would do via stepping back and looking at your basic traits and experiences etc.

What kind of characters do you tend not to play?

Flat characters. I’ve tried with dnd npcs. They always complicate and become gremlins with actual purpose.

Any pairing tropes you particularly enjoy?

Both parties being awkward idiots and not seeing the very obvious signals that the other person likes them. Partly because it makes observer characters just so done.

Enemy to lover occasionally as long as it’s not..weird.

Being insufferable together in terms of puns and chaotic antics

Cuddling, lots of physical affection.

Buddy cop type romance

Being trapped in a space somehow together and shenanigans.

Platonic tropes?

Lotta physical affection and being like... cats in a pile.

You know? A good good cat pile.

Getting up to antics like stealing a mannequin from a store going out of business.

Just being super close

FOUND FAMILY (especially found dad/child dynamics)

Being ready to throw down for each other.

Throwing down for each other.

Being honest with each other, even if the other person doesn’t want to hear it as long as it’s for their sake.

Antagonist tropes?

Ahahah hahahah...

Sorry you just ever uh, make a character so awful, vile, and reprehensible that even you cringe when thinking about them? I did. It’s an NPC for one of my blogs, but he has influenced the lives of all my main Tf2 muses.

Frenemies is fun

Antagonists that are equally in the right as the protagonist but with different methods

True redemption arcs like Zuko.

Also Vegeta type redemption arcs. Those amuse me.

Be mean to Messenger I wanna know how she works.

Prefered thread type?

Paragraphs. I ramble occasionally but tend to match length though I never expect my partner to do the same. Not one liners though, just can’t do it in the tumblr format. I don’t regularly use icons (mainly because I OC a lot) but I hope to do that some more with my Spy blog.

Favorite types of Interactions?

Ones where the muses agree to give both muns the middle finger and just randomly go completely off the rails? Like so in character that they get away from us.

Hurt/comfort

Stuff with MEAT and multiple facets/layers

Wishlist.

For @Oldboyjensenrps

Even more interaction with canon characters for Messenger

To eventually actually get “The Jack” interacting on the blog

Familial threads 

AUs

Specifically working with Messenger’s 10th class Verse-Mercsenger (under [merc au] tag)

More frands/more stupid, questionably-legal antics

Fight the messenger

adopt the messenger

seduce the messenger-sucker for well done romance and/or smut threads

For @dastardlydapperbastard

Interaction with other mercs

franship with other mercs

fights with other mercs

All the above with ocs too

Good luck romancing him but that would be interesting to see if anyone succeeds

accidentally adopting but he’ll never admit it ocs

awkward scout threads if anyone needs a spy

buddy cop type Scout threads

Interacting with Scouts that aren’t his Scout and accidentally (but again he’ll deny it) adopting them

Crack him open and feast upon his emotions somehow

Open the can of worms that is Jolene. (see bio)

let me be the grumpy old stab man

tagging: I think everyone I interact with is spoken for on this one, so if you’re reading this and haven’t done it you, I tag you pikachu.

#About Jensen #[mun meme] #[munday] #very long and it took a while because my compy's been sick

[find-your-rp-partner]

Looking for Amazing Long-Term M/M partners!

▶ Greetings to the wonderful roleplay community. I am R Pink or Drowsy and I’m on the look out for really amazing roleplayers, that are in need to fill their rp wants. I am on the look out for amazing and interesting stories where we can do awesome things within a world we create. Please continue reading if I caught your interest. 

A bit About Me

▹ I go by the names: Rex, Pink or Drowsy  ▹ I’m 21+ of age  ▹ I enjoy ooc chit chatting about characters, plots and mostly anything. ▹ I’m in love with really creative ideas, characters and plots. ▹ Is into m/m ships  ▹ I really like older characters. I love it when they are married and we rp their lives together. I’m fine with couples and such too.  ▹ I actually really love dark, gritty, unsettling and just down right messed up roleplays. I also love serious ones, time set ones and much much more. I universal when it comes to plots, so don’t be afraid when coming to explain your plots or just talk about plots with me. Neo-Noir plots are my absolute fave!  ▹ I’m not a big fan of over using the same tropes over and over again IE: Height differences, one character being extremely cute and adorable all the time, some anime tropes etc. (I like them in small doses) 

What I want in a roleplay partner

▹ I want someone who can be super creative,  And I don’t just mean in creating characters, I also mean creating plots, worlds and everything and the kitchen sink. I want to feel that I’m not the only one bringing the heat but they are too.

▹ Someone who isn’t afraid to chit chat ooc style I do find it more fun to actually have small conversations with my partner on the side. So I can know and become friends with them too. I love chit chatting and I would love to know more about the person I’m creating a world with.

▹ Is 18+  Now this has nothing to do with smut, I just find it easier for me to roleplay with people closer to my age. I get that some people who are younger than that act mature for their age, but I don’t care. Give me the age I want, please and thank you. :) (If you don’t mind smut then yesss lets do smut okay!)

▹ Makes great and complex characters, settings and plots.  As said before I want someone who can bring the heat and also isn’t shy with helping out with the plot as well. I also loveeee characters that are complex and are not your typical types of people. I like characters that do drugs, have killed someone, isn’t emotionally attached, all of the things that make Characters look shitty.

▹ Doesn’t mind Dark Themes Now if you don’t like dark themes then totes tell me cause that’s perfectly fine. I myself love violence, angst, betrayal and much much more. Since my characters are not perfect in any type of way, I love to put that within the plot as well.  

▹ Is fine with older characters I really like rping older characters and the older the better.  The youngest I will go with characters is 20. Now I will do a little bit younger, but I love older characters, characters that are ranging from 25-45 is awesome, 45-62 is SUPER GREAT I WILL LOVE YOU AND PROBS REPLY QUICKER TO YOU. If I go any younger I just don’t want to do it anymore.

▹ Your writing doesn’t have to be amazing! I’m fine with short or semi-long replies. I just don’t want one-liners, you can write up to a few sentences and such.

▹ Doesn’t mind doing several different plots  Sometimes I get bored which is fine we all do, and I like to do different plots if the other one isn’t working for us! It’s totes fine 

OC Plots & Fandom stuff 

Key:  ✤ - Wants to go all out crazy and creative with the plot  ✕  - Doesn’t mind if there isn’t any smut or relationships ✦ - Really wants to do this (It’s a craving) ✩ - Can have a lot of smut and gooshy fluff 

OC Plots: 

(Note: Some of these plots are vague while others I actually have more info on them. Just ask away if you want more or not. ) 

▹ Mafia Style

( ✤ ✕ ) Revenge taken Cold: A lot has happened to a certian male and he wants to make sure someone pays for it. His intentions are simple, become the new underboss for the mafia group that did him wrong and there and only there will he take out the boss. Though as he continues to be the underboss, things become more complicated as well as strange with the boss indeed. (Rated R)

( ✩ ✤ ) Out of Luck: Two friends embark on a new life together as they both join the same mob. Though as one of them becomes a favorite the other doesn’t take likely to this one bit. It’s a story of back stabbing and much more. (Rated E-R)

( ✩ ✤ ✦ ) Everyone Wants in: In a small country that is ruled by different supernatural gangs. There is one monster that goes by the name “The Phantom” who will bring them all down and become the ultimate. Though trying to find him will be a handful since no one knows what he looks like. It is up to an single monster to find this being and defeat him. (Rated R)

▹ Fantasy

( ✩ ✤ ✦ ) A sign of change: Within his kingdom a king begins to loose his people to the other side through war and heart lose. Though the person still by his side must watch as the male in front is torn apart while trying to keep his kingdom from falling apart.  (Rated M-R)

▹ Slice Of Life

( ✩ ✕ ) The fashionista/ The Silent Nerd: Getting into a bet with a few of his friends, they decided that the most amazing male on campus must make a nerd into an amazing male as well.  Agreeing to the terms, the job seems simple yet trying to actually do it turns to be a bit more challenge than actually planed. (Inspired by My Fair Lady) (Rated PG-13 for cursing, maybe smut and craziness)

( ✩ ✕ ✤ ) Bully/Angry Nerd: He gets his ass kicked all the time, everyday by the same bully, yet one day when he decides it’s too much. He finally goes over to this bully’s house to find out a bit more than he planed. Now there’s too much on the line and he has to buddy up with the same person who always kicked his ass. Can he do it? (Can be supernatural or sci-fi) (Rated PG-13 - R for mostly anything could happen with this plot. LBH) 

▹ Action/Adventure

( ✤ ✦ ✩) The Lone Magical Boy/The Cop: Magical Boys have protected a Busy city for hundreds of years, yet as the darkness they defeated slowly disappeared so did they. Though in the near future things seemed to be turning for the worst, as the darkness decides to come back at full force making the last magical boy awaken from their slumber and defend the city once more, yet that can’t do it without the help of a single cop and his hidden powers. (Rated R for gore, cursing, fighting, ect.)

( ✤ ✦ ✩) The Drug Addict/ The Wingman: They’ve gotten themselves into a lot of trouble over the years and now it seems that all of it is finally catching up with them. It’s time to right wrongs and do the whole thing called ‘life’ over again. Though can they really fix everything or is this just another pipe dream? (Rated R for crazy and probs offensive shit)

▹ Sci-fi

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Lone Scientist/ Intern: Being the most smartest person in the world comes with one major thing…A sickness for it and everything that lives on it. Taking advice from a friend, a lone scientist opens his lab to those that want quick money and have a place to finish up on any work they have. Though once they come in, they will have to go on a few adventures to places they never knew existed, while being with one utter mess of a Scientist. (Inspired by Rick & Morty/ Doctor Who) (Rated R for Cursing, substance use, maybe gore, ect.)

( ✦ ✩ ✕) Captain / Co-Captain: Assembling a team filled with the best people to go out and free planets from under the rule of the Galactic Stars, a captain destined for greatness, leads a team to such planes. With the help of his best friend who is a Co-Captain on his ship everything becomes a battle for glory, pride and justice. (inspired by Star Trek) (Rated E - R)

( ✦ ✩ ✕) Navigator in Training/ Trainer: After a horrible accident of their empire being taken down, a lone navigator and trainer seek out on an adventure to take revenge on those that planed this. There is heart break and mistakes on the way, but they continue to get through and end up victorious.

▹ Supernatural

( ✤ ✩ ✕) Supernatural Detectives: Two creatures go out and solve crimes within their city, though there is a bigger event that will be coming. (Rated R for maybe gore, ect.)

▹ Mystery

( ✤ ) Gossip Love: After a a student of a jr College vanishes out of thin air and a new student from over seas, seems to take the place of the other. A best friend tries to put together the clues as to what happens. Yet someone is on thier trail and it seems to be the new student. What secret is going on? And what does a popular gossip blog have to do with it?

▹ The Dark Gritty

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Oddly different now: A lone older male finally gets to see his best friend he hasn’t seen in years, yet once they meet again his best friend is a demon with plans to make his life a living hell. (Rated R for gore, ect.)

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Talent Collector: There is one male that wants to have just one talent, yet being around nothing but amazing talentful people...He becomes jealous and desperate. Though one day someone gives him the opportunity he thought he could never have. Now he must go around being someone he isn’t and return home to the true person he took his new identity from. This start to turn stranger as they both fall in love with each other, yet one continues to collect more and more talents becoming filled with greed.  (Rated R for extreme gore, ect.) 

OC Characters (here I have character types I would like to rp, but I can’t think of a plot)

Washed up Actor  Old Jazz Man werewolf  Dream Eater Bratty Rich Man  Bad Boy/ Bad Girl Older Rebel 

Fandom stuff:

Marvel: WinterIron Tony/Bucky

Overwatch:  R76 Mc76 Rein/Gabe McHanzo Boombox Junkrat/Lucio

Preacher:  Donnie/Jesse Cassidy/Vampire OC

Jojo Bizzare Adventure: Jotaro/OC Caesar/Joseph  Josuke/Rohan

Mafia 3: Lincoln/John  Lincoln/Giorgi Vito/Lincoln Vito/Sal

Fandom base but with oc’s:

Gravity falls  Steven Universe  Hero Academy  Preacher KNB Sailor Moon

(If you have your own plots or even fandoms you would like to rp in then please tell me about them. All are welcomed. :) ) 

Contact: Email: [email protected] Kik: rexpinku  Skype: psyche-8bit

When contacting me please tell me a little bit about yourself and what kind of plots you would like to do or have. Thank you! And I can’t wait to chit chat with you! 

#rp partner search #rp partner ad #fandom #original #marvel #mcu #videogame #email #skype #kik #submission

[gayroleplayads]

Looking for Amazing Long Term Partners

▶ Greetings to the wonderful roleplay community. I am R Pink or Drowsy and I’m on the look out for really amazing roleplayers, that are in need to fill their rp wants. I am on the look out for amazing and interesting stories where we can do awesome things within a world we create. Please continue reading if I caught your interest. 

A bit About Me

▹ I go by the names: Rex, Pink or Drowsy  ▹ I’m 21+ of age  ▹ I enjoy ooc chit chatting about characters, plots and mostly anything. ▹ I’m in love with really creative ideas, characters and plots. ▹ Is into m/m ships  ▹ I really like older characters. I love it when they are married and we rp their lives together. I’m fine with couples and such too.  ▹ I actually really love dark, gritty, unsettling and just down right messed up roleplays. I also love serious ones, time set ones and much much more. I universal when it comes to plots, so don’t be afraid when coming to explain your plots or just talk about plots with me. Neo-Noir plots are my absolute fave!  ▹ I’m not a big fan of over using the same tropes over and over again IE: Height differences, one character being extremely cute and adorable all the time, some anime tropes etc. (I like them in small doses) 

What I want in a roleplay partner

▹ I want someone who can be super creative,  And I don’t just mean in creating characters, I also mean creating plots, worlds and everything and the kitchen sink. I want to feel that I’m not the only one bringing the heat but they are too.

▹ Someone who isn’t afraid to chit chat ooc style I do find it more fun to actually have small conversations with my partner on the side. So I can know and become friends with them too. I love chit chatting and I would love to know more about the person I’m creating a world with.

▹ Is 18+  Now this has nothing to do with smut, I just find it easier for me to roleplay with people closer to my age. I get that some people who are younger than that act mature for their age, but I don’t care. Give me the age I want, please and thank you. :) (If you don’t mind smut then yesss lets do smut okay!)

▹ Makes great and complex characters, settings and plots.  As said before I want someone who can bring the heat and also isn’t shy with helping out with the plot as well. I also loveeee characters that are complex and are not your typical types of people. I like characters that do drugs, have killed someone, isn’t emotionally attached, all of the things that make Characters look shitty.

▹ Doesn’t mind Dark Themes Now if you don’t like dark themes then totes tell me cause that’s perfectly fine. I myself love violence, angst, betrayal and much much more. Since my characters are not perfect in any type of way, I love to put that within the plot as well.  

▹ Is fine with older characters I really like rping older characters and the older the better.  The youngest I will go with characters is 20. Now I will do a little bit younger, but I love older characters, characters that are ranging from 25-45 is awesome, 45-62 is SUPER GREAT I WILL LOVE YOU AND PROBS REPLY QUICKER TO YOU. If I go any younger I just don’t want to do it anymore.

▹ Your writing doesn’t have to be amazing! I’m fine with short or semi-long replies. I just don’t want one-liners, you can write up to a few sentences and such.

▹ Doesn’t mind doing several different plots  Sometimes I get bored which is fine we all do, and I like to do different plots if the other one isn’t working for us! It’s totes fine 

OC Plots & Fandom stuff 

Key:  ✤ - Wants to go all out crazy and creative with the plot  ✕  - Doesn’t mind if there isn’t any smut or relationships ✦ - Really wants to do this (It’s a craving) ✩ - Can have a lot of smut and gooshy fluff 

OC Plots: 

(Note: Some of these plots are vague while others I actually have more info on them. Just ask away if you want more or not. ) 

▹ Mafia Style

( ✤ ✕ ) Revenge taken Cold: A lot has happened to a certian male and he wants to make sure someone pays for it. His intentions are simple, become the new underboss for the mafia group that did him wrong and there and only there will he take out the boss. Though as he continues to be the underboss, things become more complicated as well as strange with the boss indeed. (Rated R)

( ✩ ✤ ) Out of Luck: Two friends embark on a new life together as they both join the same mob. Though as one of them becomes a favorite the other doesn’t take likely to this one bit. It’s a story of back stabbing and much more. (Rated E-R)

( ✩ ✤ ✦ ) Everyone Wants in: In a small country that is ruled by different supernatural gangs. There is one monster that goes by the name “The Phantom” who will bring them all down and become the ultimate. Though trying to find him will be a handful since no one knows what he looks like. It is up to an single monster to find this being and defeat him. (Rated R)

▹ Fantasy

( ✩ ✤ ✦ ) A sign of change: Within his kingdom a king begins to loose his people to the other side through war and heart lose. Though the person still by his side must watch as the male in front is torn apart while trying to keep his kingdom from falling apart.  (Rated M-R)

▹ Slice Of Life

( ✩ ✕ ) The fashionista/ The Silent Nerd: Getting into a bet with a few of his friends, they decided that the most amazing male on campus must make a nerd into an amazing male as well.  Agreeing to the terms, the job seems simple yet trying to actually do it turns to be a bit more challenge than actually planed. (Inspired by My Fair Lady) (Rated PG-13 for cursing, maybe smut and craziness)

( ✩ ✕ ✤ ) Bully/Angry Nerd: He gets his ass kicked all the time, everyday by the same bully, yet one day when he decides it’s too much. He finally goes over to this bully’s house to find out a bit more than he planed. Now there’s too much on the line and he has to buddy up with the same person who always kicked his ass. Can he do it? (Can be supernatural or sci-fi) (Rated PG-13 - R for mostly anything could happen with this plot. LBH) 

▹ Action/Adventure

( ✤ ✦ ✩) The Lone Magical Boy/The Cop: Magical Boys have protected a Busy city for hundreds of years, yet as the darkness they defeated slowly disappeared so did they. Though in the near future things seemed to be turning for the worst, as the darkness decides to come back at full force making the last magical boy awaken from their slumber and defend the city once more, yet that can’t do it without the help of a single cop and his hidden powers. (Rated R for gore, cursing, fighting, ect.)

( ✤ ✦ ✩) The Drug Addict/ The Wingman: They’ve gotten themselves into a lot of trouble over the years and now it seems that all of it is finally catching up with them. It’s time to right wrongs and do the whole thing called ‘life’ over again. Though can they really fix everything or is this just another pipe dream? (Rated R for crazy and probs offensive shit)

▹ Sci-fi

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Lone Scientist/ Intern: Being the most smartest person in the world comes with one major thing…A sickness for it and everything that lives on it. Taking advice from a friend, a lone scientist opens his lab to those that want quick money and have a place to finish up on any work they have. Though once they come in, they will have to go on a few adventures to places they never knew existed, while being with one utter mess of a Scientist. (Inspired by Rick & Morty/ Doctor Who) (Rated R for Cursing, substance use, maybe gore, ect.)

( ✦ ✩ ✕) Captain / Co-Captain: Assembling a team filled with the best people to go out and free planets from under the rule of the Galactic Stars, a captain destined for greatness, leads a team to such planes. With the help of his best friend who is a Co-Captain on his ship everything becomes a battle for glory, pride and justice. (inspired by Star Trek) (Rated E - R)

( ✦ ✩ ✕) Navigator in Training/ Trainer: After a horrible accident of their empire being taken down, a lone navigator and trainer seek out on an adventure to take revenge on those that planed this. There is heart break and mistakes on the way, but they continue to get through and end up victorious.

▹ Supernatural

( ✤ ✩ ✕) Supernatural Detectives: Two creatures go out and solve crimes within their city, though there is a bigger event that will be coming. (Rated R for maybe gore, ect.)

▹ Mystery

( ✤ ) Gossip Love: After a a student of a jr College vanishes out of thin air and a new student from over seas, seems to take the place of the other. A best friend tries to put together the clues as to what happens. Yet someone is on thier trail and it seems to be the new student. What secret is going on? And what does a popular gossip blog have to do with it?

▹ The Dark Gritty

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Oddly different now: A lone older male finally gets to see his best friend he hasn’t seen in years, yet once they meet again his best friend is a demon with plans to make his life a living hell. (Rated R for gore, ect.)

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Talent Collector: There is one male that wants to have just one talent, yet being around nothing but amazing talentful people…He becomes jealous and desperate. Though one day someone gives him the opportunity he thought he could never have. Now he must go around being someone he isn’t and return home to the true person he took his new identity from. This start to turn stranger as they both fall in love with each other, yet one continues to collect more and more talents becoming filled with greed.  (Rated R for extreme gore, ect.) 

OC Characters (here I have character types I would like to rp, but I can’t think of a plot)

Washed up Actor  Old Jazz Man werewolf  Dream Eater Bratty Rich Man  Bad Boy/ Bad Girl Older Rebel 

Fandom stuff:

Marvel: WinterIron Tony/Bucky

Overwatch:  R76 Mc76 Rein/Gabe McHanzo Boombox Junkrat/Lucio

Preacher:  Donnie/Jesse Cassidy/Vampire OC

Jojo Bizzare Adventure: Jotaro/OC Caesar/Joseph  Josuke/Rohan

Mafia 3: Lincoln/John  Lincoln/Giorgi Vito/Lincoln Vito/Sal

Fandom base but with oc’s:

Gravity falls  Steven Universe  Hero Academy  Preacher KNB Sailor Moon

(If you have your own plots or even fandoms you would like to rp in then please tell me about them. All are welcomed. :) ) 

Contact: Email: [email protected] Kik: rexpinku  Skype: psyche-8bit

When contacting me please tell me a little bit about yourself and what kind of plots you would like to do or have. Thank you! And I can’t wait to chit chat with you! 

#email rp #messenger rp #fandom rp #original characters #yaoi #third person perspective #paragraph #multiple paragraphs #switch #submission

[fyrapartnersearch]

Looking for amazing long-term m/m partners

▶ Greetings to the wonderful roleplay community. I am R Pink or Drowsy and I’m on the look out for really amazing roleplayers, that are in need to fill their rp wants. I am on the look out for amazing and interesting stories where we can do awesome things within a world we create. Please continue reading if I caught your interest. 

A bit About Me

▹ I go by the names: Rex, Pink or Drowsy  ▹ I’m 21+ of age  ▹ I enjoy ooc chit chatting about characters, plots and mostly anything. ▹ I’m in love with really creative ideas, characters and plots. ▹ Is into m/m ships  ▹ I really like older characters. I love it when they are married and we rp their lives together. I’m fine with couples and such too.  ▹ I actually really love dark, gritty, unsettling and just down right messed up roleplays. I also love serious ones, time set ones and much much more. I universal when it comes to plots, so don’t be afraid when coming to explain your plots or just talk about plots with me. Neo-Noir plots are my absolute fave!  ▹ I’m not a big fan of over using the same tropes over and over again IE: Height differences, one character being extremely cute and adorable all the time, some anime tropes etc. (I like them in small doses) 

What I want in a roleplay partner

▹ I want someone who can be super creative,  And I don’t just mean in creating characters, I also mean creating plots, worlds and everything and the kitchen sink. I want to feel that I’m not the only one bringing the heat but they are too.

▹ Someone who isn’t afraid to chit chat ooc style I do find it more fun to actually have small conversations with my partner on the side. So I can know and become friends with them too. I love chit chatting and I would love to know more about the person I’m creating a world with.

▹ Is 18+  Now this has nothing to do with smut, I just find it easier for me to roleplay with people closer to my age. I get that some people who are younger than that act mature for their age, but I don’t care. Give me the age I want, please and thank you. :) (If you don’t mind smut then yesss lets do smut okay!)

▹ Makes great and complex characters, settings and plots.  As said before I want someone who can bring the heat and also isn’t shy with helping out with the plot as well. I also loveeee characters that are complex and are not your typical types of people. I like characters that do drugs, have killed someone, isn’t emotionally attached, all of the things that make Characters look shitty.

▹ Doesn’t mind Dark Themes Now if you don’t like dark themes then totes tell me cause that’s perfectly fine. I myself love violence, angst, betrayal and much much more. Since my characters are not perfect in any type of way, I love to put that within the plot as well.  

▹ Is fine with older characters I really like rping older characters and the older the better.  The youngest I will go with characters is 20. Now I will do a little bit younger, but I love older characters, characters that are ranging from 25-45 is awesome, 45-62 is SUPER GREAT I WILL LOVE YOU AND PROBS REPLY QUICKER TO YOU. If I go any younger I just don’t want to do it anymore.

▹ Your writing doesn’t have to be amazing! I’m fine with short or semi-long replies. I just don’t want one-liners, you can write up to a few sentences and such.

▹ Doesn’t mind doing several different plots  Sometimes I get bored which is fine we all do, and I like to do different plots if the other one isn’t working for us! It’s totes fine 

OC Plots & Fandom stuff 

Key:  ✤ - Wants to go all out crazy and creative with the plot  ✕  - Doesn’t mind if there isn’t any smut or relationships ✦ - Really wants to do this (It’s a craving) ✩ - Can have a lot of smut and gooshy fluff 

OC Plots: 

(Note: Some of these plots are vague while others I actually have more info on them. Just ask away if you want more or not. ) 

▹ Mafia Style

( ✤ ✕ ) Revenge taken Cold: A lot has happened to a certian male and he wants to make sure someone pays for it. His intentions are simple, become the new underboss for the mafia group that did him wrong and there and only there will he take out the boss. Though as he continues to be the underboss, things become more complicated as well as strange with the boss indeed. (Rated R)

( ✩ ✤ ) Out of Luck: Two friends embark on a new life together as they both join the same mob. Though as one of them becomes a favorite the other doesn’t take likely to this one bit. It’s a story of back stabbing and much more. (Rated E-R)

( ✩ ✤ ✦ ) Everyone Wants in: In a small country that is ruled by different supernatural gangs. There is one monster that goes by the name “The Phantom” who will bring them all down and become the ultimate. Though trying to find him will be a handful since no one knows what he looks like. It is up to an single monster to find this being and defeat him. (Rated R)

▹ Fantasy

( ✩ ✤ ✦ ) A sign of change: Within his kingdom a king begins to loose his people to the other side through war and heart lose. Though the person still by his side must watch as the male in front is torn apart while trying to keep his kingdom from falling apart.  (Rated M-R)

▹ Slice Of Life

( ✩ ✕ ) The fashionista/ The Silent Nerd: Getting into a bet with a few of his friends, they decided that the most amazing male on campus must make a nerd into an amazing male as well.  Agreeing to the terms, the job seems simple yet trying to actually do it turns to be a bit more challenge than actually planed. (Inspired by My Fair Lady) (Rated PG-13 for cursing, maybe smut and craziness)

( ✩ ✕ ✤ ) Bully/Angry Nerd: He gets his ass kicked all the time, everyday by the same bully, yet one day when he decides it’s too much. He finally goes over to this bully’s house to find out a bit more than he planed. Now there’s too much on the line and he has to buddy up with the same person who always kicked his ass. Can he do it? (Can be supernatural or sci-fi) (Rated PG-13 - R for mostly anything could happen with this plot. LBH) 

▹ Action/Adventure

( ✤ ✦ ✩) The Lone Magical Boy/The Cop: Magical Boys have protected a Busy city for hundreds of years, yet as the darkness they defeated slowly disappeared so did they. Though in the near future things seemed to be turning for the worst, as the darkness decides to come back at full force making the last magical boy awaken from their slumber and defend the city once more, yet that can’t do it without the help of a single cop and his hidden powers. (Rated R for gore, cursing, fighting, ect.)

( ✤ ✦ ✩) The Drug Addict/ The Wingman: They’ve gotten themselves into a lot of trouble over the years and now it seems that all of it is finally catching up with them. It’s time to right wrongs and do the whole thing called ‘life’ over again. Though can they really fix everything or is this just another pipe dream? (Rated R for crazy and probs offensive shit)

▹ Sci-fi

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Lone Scientist/ Intern: Being the most smartest person in the world comes with one major thing…A sickness for it and everything that lives on it. Taking advice from a friend, a lone scientist opens his lab to those that want quick money and have a place to finish up on any work they have. Though once they come in, they will have to go on a few adventures to places they never knew existed, while being with one utter mess of a Scientist. (Inspired by Rick & Morty/ Doctor Who) (Rated R for Cursing, substance use, maybe gore, ect.)

( ✦ ✩ ✕) Captain / Co-Captain: Assembling a team filled with the best people to go out and free planets from under the rule of the Galactic Stars, a captain destined for greatness, leads a team to such planes. With the help of his best friend who is a Co-Captain on his ship everything becomes a battle for glory, pride and justice. (inspired by Star Trek) (Rated E - R)

( ✦ ✩ ✕) Navigator in Training/ Trainer: After a horrible accident of their empire being taken down, a lone navigator and trainer seek out on an adventure to take revenge on those that planed this. There is heart break and mistakes on the way, but they continue to get through and end up victorious.

▹ Supernatural

( ✤ ✩ ✕) Supernatural Detectives: Two creatures go out and solve crimes within their city, though there is a bigger event that will be coming. (Rated R for maybe gore, ect.)

▹ Mystery

( ✤ ) Gossip Love: After a a student of a jr College vanishes out of thin air and a new student from over seas, seems to take the place of the other. A best friend tries to put together the clues as to what happens. Yet someone is on thier trail and it seems to be the new student. What secret is going on? And what does a popular gossip blog have to do with it?

▹ The Dark Gritty

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Oddly different now: A lone older male finally gets to see his best friend he hasn’t seen in years, yet once they meet again his best friend is a demon with plans to make his life a living hell. (Rated R for gore, ect.)

( ✤ ✦ ✩) Talent Collector: There is one male that wants to have just one talent, yet being around nothing but amazing talentful people...He becomes jealous and desperate. Though one day someone gives him the opportunity he thought he could never have. Now he must go around being someone he isn’t and return home to the true person he took his new identity from. This start to turn stranger as they both fall in love with each other, yet one continues to collect more and more talents becoming filled with greed.  (Rated R for extreme gore, ect.) 

OC Characters (here I have character types I would like to rp, but I can’t think of a plot)

Washed up Actor  Old Jazz Man werewolf  Dream Eater Bratty Rich Man  Bad Boy/ Bad Girl Older Rebel 

Fandom stuff:

Marvel: WinterIron Tony/Bucky

Overwatch:  R76 Mc76 Rein/Gabe McHanzo Boombox Junkrat/Lucio

Preacher:  Donnie/Jesse Cassidy/Vampire OC

Jojo Bizzare Adventure: Jotaro/OC Caesar/Joseph  Josuke/Rohan

Mafia 3: Lincoln/John  Lincoln/Giorgi Vito/Lincoln Vito/Sal

Fandom base but with oc’s:

Gravity falls  Steven Universe  Hero Academy  Preacher KNB Sailor Moon

(If you have your own plots or even fandoms you would like to rp in then please tell me about them. All are welcomed. :) ) 

Contact: Email: [email protected] Kik: rexpinku  Skype: psyche-8bit

When contacting me please tell me a little bit about yourself and what kind of plots you would like to do or have. Thank you! And I can’t wait to chit chat with you! 

#oc rp #multiple paragraph #para #semipara #long term #email #messenger #smut rp #mcu rp #submission

[pilawforhire-archived]

"...A date, then?"

[ sms ] Yes. I’ll pick you 1930.

It was a formal business dinner function in one of the most upscale hotels in the country, and although it had been rather last minute, he had managed to obtain an invite, albeit through unlawful means. Since he needed a plus one to blend in, and to fake attempts at being social and amiable, after some consideration, in which he asked himself, who would hate being there as much as he, Law settled on Shikamaru as his ‘date’ for the night—and he wouldn’t have taken no for an answer. He had based his decision on two key factors: a) Shikamaru would suffer as much as he would by being there, and b) Shikamaru wouldn’t piss him off at the same time. Their cover was as potential business partners who were looking to invest in new companies.

It didn’t matter what Shikamaru thought of the ‘date’—it would have been even more entertaining if the contractor had different thoughts about Law’s intentions. Either way, he wasn’t going to give Shikamaru any finer details, unless it was asked of him. There was, however, to be a lot of mingling with the crowd, while he kept an eye on his target. A buffet spread, music, dancing…the dinner party was already sounding like a huge inconvenience.

Who asks for it:

[x] Your muse asks mine

[x] My muse asks yours [ A case? A favor? Tips or intel? Who knows for sure? ]((Definitely, only when he needs Shikamaru’s help or expertise. Or when he wants to kill him, frame him.. [I guess I understand Shikamaru’s paranoia now.] Unless it’s impromptu…a ’stuck in the wrong place together at the wrong time’ kind of situation. Fast forward two years later, if they’re both still alive and on a…’friendly’ as ‘friendly’ can get basis, hey, why not! A date is a date without any ulterior motives except the want for company!!! Or a place to crash while on the run from bad company.))

Type of date:

[x] [‘You want an actual rematch?’ Date] “I don’t know what you mean by ‘actual’, but if you think I’m going to concede to defeat before having tried a hundred times, you’ve got another thing coming, Nara.”

[x] [‘Whose bike goes faster, I know a scenic route’ Date] YES. Cruising through scenic / deserted routes would be cool. “Yours might be bigger, but size isn’t everything.”

[x] [‘There’s an Arms Trade Expo I’m infiltrating and I need a Plus One….’ Date] So is this! “…only if you’re paying for my purchases.”

[x] ‘Things always have a funny way of spiraling out of control when I’m with you’ Date — mishaps involving ending up in the A&E, chased down by wild dogs/animals, on the run from the police, waking up with no knowledge of where they are or what happened just before, ending up as volunteers for some freak circus show/magic show, locked in a room with a bomb, stuck in the elevator, stealing a cop car, stealing a fire truck……. “…how did this happen? I thought I was cursed, but I think this time it’s you who’s bringing about all the bad luck.”

[x] ‘Let’s see how long the peace can last’ Date “Place your bets. I’m giving it an hour, tops.”

[x] A normal, platonic(?) date in your alt!verse, probably a coffee date, which stays pretty chill and all, after having visited the cafe, where Shikamaru works, on a daily basis for a while because they play pretty good music and serve gluten-free snacks, and it’s not overcrowded, the decor is pleasing

Location for the date:

[ ] Movies• [ ] Romantic Comedy• [ ] Adventure Movie• [ ] Animation (Pixar/Disney)• [ ] Horror• [ ] Drama• [ ] Buddy Movie• [ ] ___ (other options)

[x] Restaurant / Clubs / Bars ((mostly for info gathering, I’d presume?))• [x] Expensive/High Class [ I want to see this happen only because it’d be great to have them undercover and eating fancy ] –> ((absolutely..!))• [x] Small and familiar ((after the Jaffal case though…nowhere is safe. probably somewhere with a crowd could be less dangerous. i don’t think they ought to eat at the same place twice.))• [x] Fast Food ((sucks, but can’t be helped, I guess))

[x] Nature ((anywhere in nature would be cool, but I guess they wouldn’t go anywhere like that if it weren’t for a job. then again, what job would take one up to the mountains or to a cottage by the lake, or anywhere scenic? I suppose if they’re both free, somewhere down the road, this could happen, hopefully before they turn 90 and aren’t able to walk well anymore. can’t appreciate nature if you can’t walk on your own two feet—can’t appreciate it as much.))• [x] Beach [ Okay but imagine them running intel in the summer ] –> ((and having to act normal on the beach? being surrounded by the sweltering heat and children screaming and running about. Shikamaru catching beach balls with his head. watching people be happy all around them. getting sand everywhere..))• [x] Park ((tailing someone, attempting to abduct someone, playing Shogi in the park….?))• [x] Forest ((burying dead bodies that need to be hidden, excavating dead bodies that were hidden, following a trail of clues, lost in the forest because…reasons/bad luck, camping to watch/surveil a house in the woods, just taking a jog))   • [x] …and having a picnic

[ ] Visiting a Museum/Galleries/Aquariums/Zoos/Planetariums ((yes to all of these below tbh. wherever the job takes them))

[ ] Visiting an amusement park ((maybe not this…although it’s easy to kidnap people from crowded places))

[ ] Visiting a haunted location ((abandoned places would be cool to discover and explore. abandoned ruins…hospitals, etc.))

[x] Staying at home• [x] Chilling with music• [x] Playing Shogi• [x] Reading

[x] Casinos are great!! ((I think they could make a good deal of money from this.))

[x] Lmao I like the stuck in the hospital idea although they probably can’t do much there

[x] Also, stuck on an island far out with no means of leaving, with several others invited and a murderer on the lose ala ‘And then there were none’ style

[x] Some festival(s)

[x] Just having a drink, somewhere quiet. roof of a deserted building, in a quiet park, past midnight, if they can’t sleep – i think they’d only get the chance to talk then.

[x] Some vacation island, invited to a party, to kill someone there or to find someone. Someone dies. A battle royale between others of similar careers. I’m just rambling now, haha, sorry.

The date might hopefully end with…

[ ] …holding hands [ This would throw Shika off his game, unless that was the intention ] –> ((definitely to throw him off balance. otherwise, it’d only happen if someone falls off the roof, or some high ledge/off a boat/train, and the other saves him on a whim.))

[ ] …a kiss [ ‘Oh look a distraction’ ] –> ((too obvious? well shit. but it worked, didn’t it?))

[ ] …in bed [ without the risk of the other dying? It’s a tricky situation ] –> ((being in each other’s company is a risk on its own. but yeah, too risky. both would only be pretending to be asleep. ‘I promise not to kill you if you’ll give me all the blankets.’))

[x] …knowing each other better ((I’m sure they would have dug up info on each other. Whatever there is to find, at least. I guess this would take a long while, otherwise.))

[x] …trusting each other more would be great! ((it might take amnesia for this to happen though. I guess in their nature of work, trust is easily broken as well. can you imagine, if 2 years later, somehow they’re still alive and keeping in touch, and Law shows up at Shikamaru’s doorstep for no reason, I bet, even if they have established some trust, the first thing to go to Shikamaru’s head might be, ‘Is he here to kill me (again)?’ Similarly, every time they hear from each other, or meet, alarm bells are ringing somewhere, no matter how much trust has been established. I don’t know, though. It could work out.

It would be interesting to see how they could break through that. It might be tough, since both are wary by nature, and the job makes things worse. Unless, it comes to the point where they reach a mutual understanding of— Hey, we can be ‘friends’(?) or buddies, acquaintances. I respect that you do your job well, and I do mine well. However, SO THAT WE BOTH DON’T GO BALD BEFORE 30, if ever we get a job to target the other, we’ll be 100% honest and upfront about it. When that happens, no grudges are to be held. What’s fair is fair. When that happens that one of us is to target the other, we’ll approach the situation like mature adults and professionals. Basically, whoever manages to outmatch and kill the other, “wins”. Until then, let’s drop all this hostility and tip-toeing around each other, having to be so suspicious all the time because that gets tiring.

But I don’t know if that could work! I think they could certainly reach a point one day, one fine day, where they have that mutual understanding and trust. That if there’s a hit ordered on the other, no sneaky biz. Be upfront about it. It’s even more fun that way if both parties know. Because, then, the mind games get more challenging?

This reminds me of Mr & Mrs Smith for some reason))

[ ] …a marriage proposal

[ ] ___ (other options)

With no trouble, annoying clients, or outliers that could otherwise bother their company, how would conversation unfold between them? At what starting point would they begin to talk about themselves? For men married to their work, engrossed with their own inner demons and routines, what would it mean to get involved? It could start with building trust, a simple idea untarnished by bullets, blood, or double cross.  And even then, whose mind holds more mazes? Will it matter?

I think it would take a long while before they opened up to each other about themselves. In the first place, both would have to be receptive to allowing the trust to build. If they close themselves off and bury themselves in work and their daily routines, being similar in that sense, it’s hard to crack through anything. They could likely make it ten years as business contacts without getting to know the other well at all. Will it matter? It would be nice to find the thing that gets them to connect on a more personal level. I would like for them to be able to talk about themselves or their pasts, but I feel like that may not be something they would share with each other. Neither would feel open to sharing, because that would be taken as a sign of weakness. Even if their pasts are similar, I suppose sharing about it would do nothing useful for the present or future, so neither would talk about it in that sense. However, if they found out by some other method, they could end up discussing it in brief.

Talking about present matters…neither would comment on their feelings or their inner demons. The only way either of them would see any glimpse of the other’s would be if somehow, something bad enough happens that they break down. Even then, that would be hard to stumble upon. I don’t think it takes words to understand each other? Maybe after a long while of ‘working’(?) together.

To be honest, this is hard! Thinking about what they would talk about. I would say…nothing really, other than comments about their cases, spur of the moment quips thrown here and there… But I do think it starts with trust, and then being able to relax in each other’s company.

Alternatively, here’s what I think could help them break past the being unable to trust each other part. If they both saw each other in a moment of weakness (in which some emotion from within seeps through the cracks of their masks), I think it could be easier to build that trust. Maybe. Haha. Sorry, this was long.

#thanks for the ask! #queued post #sorry I based some of this off your post #beyondshadow #asks

[thelandofffanfictrash]

Real Talk: Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie

Name: Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie

Fandom(s): Calvin and Hobbes

Chapters: 11

Description: When Calvin's Duplicates manage to turn themselves back into humans, they team up with Moe so they can take over the world and get payback on Calvin and Hobbes. Join Calvin and Hobbes as they go on one of their biggest adventures yet in this thrilling story! Be sure to read the author's note inside.

Summary: This author takes a crack at speculating what a Calvin and Hobbes movie would be like, featuring Calvin's Duplicates and Moe trying to take over the world.

This fic makes me scared to think of what would happen if Hollywood got their hands on Calvin and Hobbes.

Not because it's realistic in the slightest. No. Because it literally uses every Hollywood cash-grab trick in the book.

This fic is a terrifying abomination of every single trope present in these kinds of movies, plus even more crap that makes absolutely zero sense in any and every context. It's honestly ridiculous how much this author hits the nail on the head while at the same time throwing their own fic completely off the rails in the most illogical way possible.

We'll start with the plot. The plot starts off fine, with Calvin and Hobbes having a normal day like they would in the comic strips. At the same time, though, the duplicates come in and, without any context, say they want revenge on Calvin (even though I DEFINITELY remember from the comic strips that they were totally fine with being worms to the point of being ecstatic), so they immediately go to Moe and team up with him to...take over the world????

There's the first thing that doesn't make any sense for a Calvin and Hobbes movie. Calvin is a six-year-old kid with an ordinary life in an ordinary town. It makes NO sense for him to suddenly be thrown into a “save the world” plot, ESPECIALLY one as convoluted as this one's going to get.

After teaming up with Moe, the duplicates then start wreaking havoc...in three different cities and a “snow desert” (as Calvin called it). We start in Calvin's hometown, where one of the duplicates is wrecking buildings with a wrecking ball. We then get on a train to chase down another duplicate before Calvin somehow manages to derail the train and they end up in Chicago. Another duplicate then steals Calvin's magical flying box and flies all the way to Las Vegas, where another duplicate already is framing Calvin and stealing millions of dollars from casinos...somehow. Calvin and Hobbes catch up in the Ferrari from Ferris Bueller, get back the box, stay in a hotel in a VIP room, get chased down by the police, and get two of the duplicates arrested. They then fly their box over the “snow desert” before encountering another duplicate and quickly (as in the span of a couple paragraphs) defeat him and find a GPS that leads them to the location of “Moe's fortress”. They get to the fortress to find mechanical versions of themselves that they quickly beat (in another couple paragraphs) before Calvin gets shot by a ray gun that makes Spaceman Spiff, Stupendous Man, and Tracer Bullet appear from out of nowhere for no reason. Team Calvin then follows the bad guys to their space fortress where they figure out Moe's dad, Dr. Scientist (dumbest name ever by the way) was also in on the plot. Team Calvin defeats Dr. Scientist, Moe, and the duplicates one final time before the space fortress crashes and the government arrests the bad guys. We end off with some other weird Calvin with no stripes on his shirt finding the remains of the robots and I guess setting up a sequel or something.

Do you see what I mean about this plot being a mess? It goes absolutely everywhere and tries to be everything without understanding what it's doing. It just ends up being unfocused and terrible. There's also absolutely no logic to it either. Why do the duplicates scatter this much? Why does every duplicate get taken down in linear succession from Ohio to Chicago to Las Vegas and then to wherever this snow desert place is? Why is this evil scientist character a thing? Why do the bad guys have a ray gun that makes Calvin's imaginary alter-egos appear? WHY ARE CALVIN AND HOBBES OKAY WITH ANYTHING THAT'S HAPPENING????

This fic doesn't fit in with the tone of Calvin and Hobbes at all. Calvin and Hobbes is supposed to just be about two buddies that enjoy life together with the occasional imaginary side-trip every so often. There aren't any world-ending stakes involved and trying to stick them in just feels awkward.

Speaking of imaginary, author doesn't seem to get the meaning of that word. In this fic, everything that was once only part of Calvin's imagination suddenly becomes real. It's really jarring, especially when author states Hobbes is Calvin's imaginary friend in the first paragraph of this fic. Making all these things real feels like a huge cop-out because author wants to have the references without having to be creative with it.

On that note, let's not forget the references. This fic graces us with the duplicates, Moe, Spaceman Spiff, Tracer Bullet, Stupendous Man, the box (which is the Time Machine in this fic, but also functions as the Duplicator and the Transmogrifier), a particularly dangerous wagon ride, Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs, and even a mention of Susie (and probably even more references I either forgot about or didn't catch). I get wanting to have these kinds of references in your fic, but you don't need to throw in every single one of them at once. It gets to be a bit of sensory overload after a while.

Oh, but we're not done yet. Author really wants us to FEEL like this is a soulless cash-grab movie by throwing in as many pop songs as possible, although a lot of their song choices are kind of strange. A lot of the songs are actually Michael Jackson songs, which is pretty baffling. There's also stuff like “Kung Fu Fighting”, “Danger Zone”, and “Eye of the Tiger” (which is the most on-the-nose song choice possible for a Calvin and Hobbes movie, meaning author definitely uses it multiple times). The strangest choice was in chapter 2, when author decided to use “Escape from the City” from Sonic Adventure 2. I still don't really get that one.

And, as the final nail in the coffin, while it starts off fine, the grammar gets pretty bad toward the end of the story. I don't even know how a story starts off so well only to devolve into such a mess by the second chapter.

Overall, “Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie” captured the feeling of watching a soulless Hollywood cash-grab movie while simultaneously being completely and utterly baffling and painful to read through in its own right. Nothing made sense, there was no shame, and any critic would rate it so ridiculously badly that it would be the biggest box-office flop in the history of cinema. 0/10 would not watch again.

Also, I'd rather die than live in a world where Calvin is voiced by Tom Kenny. Just putting that out there.

#Calvin and Hobbes: The Movie #real talk #Calvin and Hobbes #fanfiction

[daniellethamasa]

Hey all, Dani here.

The last two weeks I have posted up recommendations posts, first for Banned Books and then for LGBTQIAP+. Today I’m back to recommend some of my favorite fantasy reads (of the past couple years). In the future I might have to do a fantasy recommendations post where I talk about some of my faves of all time, but I’m trying to keep these posts limited to just books I’ve read pretty much since I’ve started this blog (so 2016-present).

I’ll also just go ahead and state the obvious, in that fantasy is a rather large genre, and it can cover urban fantasy, epic fantasy, adventure fantasy, etc. etc. So for the post today I am just doing a broad fantasy genre, but if anyone would like a more selective fantasy list, then let me know your preferences in the comments and I’ll make more specific fantasy recommendations in the future.

Let’s get started with this list of fantastic fantasy reads.

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Last Call at the Nightshade Lounge by Paul Krueger is a book I discovered this year, and I have to say that I was pretty impressed with it as an urban fantasy read. I loved all the history that was created for the magical alcoholic beverages, and including the recipes for them as well was just a fun bonus. I would gladly read more books in this setting.

First Watch by Dale Lucas. This book definitely had an interesting feel to it, because it was like watching a fantasy buddy cop show. But this book is straight up fantasy, not really urban fantasy per se. Yes, technically urban fantasy is a fantasy story set in an urban setting–either real or fictional, but I tend to think of urban fantasy as something like the last book I talked about, which was set in Chicago. The Fifth Ward series is set in a fantasy realm and follows members of the city watch. Regardless it was just a fun adventure and I’m looking forward to the next book in the series.

Six of Crows by Leigh Bardugo is a fantastic fantasy heist adventure following an incredible cast of characters, and I could talk on and on about how great they are and how diverse and all of that, but I’ll just stop now and suggest that you go pick it up for yourself. It does not matter if you have already read the Grisha trilogy or if this is your first Bardugo book. I think you’ll enjoy it regardless.

The Bone Witch by Rin Chupeco was a book I was lucky to get early thanks to NetGalley, and it blew me away. I loved the story with in a story aspect, and the world and culture were described so well. I was intrigued by the characters and got so wrapped up in everything that the ending came too soon. Now I’m anxiously awaiting the release of the sequel.

Heartstone by Elle Katharine White. Okay, this is a book I have wanted to reread since the moment I finished it toward the beginning of the year. This is a re-imagining of Pride and Prejudice if dragons and wyverns and hobgoblins existed in the same world. It was the book I didn’t know I needed in my life until I became hopelessly obsessed with reading it. I sincerely hope that White writes more in this world because it was so interesting to me. Of course, whatever she writes next, I already know that I will be getting a copy.

The Alchemists of Loom by Elise Kova. For months all over Bookstagram I saw so many people talking about Elise Kova and how wonderful her books were, so I decided to give her a try, and thankfully I was approved on NetGalley to read this book early. I must say that I was impressed with the worldbuilding and the characters. The pages flew by so quickly and I very much enjoyed the experience. (I only made it a couple chapters into the sequel so far–I feel like a bad reader).

Truthwitch by Susan Dennard. I enjoyed the bond Safiya and Iseult had in this book, though I wished that there was a lot more time with them together, and sadly they stay parted in the sequel as well. But the Witchlands intrigue me, and I like learning about the different witcheries and the political issues in the world as well.

Borderline by Mishell Baker. I read this book during my first Dewey’s 24 Hour Readathon and it was absolutely amazing. I loved the complexity of the characters and the diversity. Having the main character Millie be a double amputee and have borderline personality issues made her look at things differently. Then toss in some of the fair folk and other supernatural beings, and a government organization to monitor their presence in our world and it was just an entertaining adventure.

Falling Kingdoms by Morgan Rhodes. Around the time this one came out I heard a lot of people saying it was sort of like a YA answer to Game of Thrones, and I can understand why they would say that. The politics, intrigue, violence, and story have that similar vicious feel to them. And much like with GoT, be careful about getting attached to characters because they may die soon. But I loved this great epic style fantasy read at a YA level. I’m going to be sad that the series is ending this year.

A Darker Shade of Magic by V.E. Schwab. Kell is a traveler who can traverse between the parallel Londons–Red London: full of magic, Grey London: non-magical and similar to our 1800s era London, White London: where magic went wrong and is draining the land, and Black London: well, people just don’t talk about it. Things get complicated when Kell smuggles something from one London to the next, and it starts to cause issues. He also teams up with Lila Bard, a young woman from Grey London who dreams of having her own ship. I don’t want to say much more about it, but I do highly recommend that you give this series a try.

Well, I think that’s it for now. Next week I believe my recommendation will be for paranormal reads. Let me know what you’d like to see next down in the comments: Contemporary, Science Fiction, Romance, Historical, Poetry, Memoir, Classics, Diverse Reads, Graphic Novels, Middle Grade,….

Fantasy Recommendations Hey all, Dani here. The last two weeks I have posted up recommendations posts, first for Banned Books and then for LGBTQIAP+.

#Books! #Reading #Recommendations

[sending-the-message]

My Son was a Guest Star on Buddy Wellington's Playtime Jamboree by JayGetsHazy

Have you heard of this show?

Probably not.

It came on one of those viewers funded Public Access type channels. You know the ones. Channel 989 or some shit. Right above the scrambled porn. The kind you remember from your own childhood. Think Mr. Rogers or Thomas the Tank Engine.

Just a twenty-two-minute bloc of no frills educational entertainment aimed at kids.

Anyway, my son Bradley stumbled upon it one morning while channel surfing between commercials and it quickly became a fixture of his daily routine.

Every Saturday, from 8:00 to 8:30, the jangle of off-key music and silly sing-song voices emanated from the hand-me-down Panasonic in my son’s room.

Welcome to Playtime Jamboree

A whole lotta fun for you and me

Step in-side and you will see

The friend you’ve got in Buh-uh-dee!

The theme song was maddingly simple and repetitive. Anyone who grew up watching Barney the Dinosaur knows whereof I speak. The kind of catchy nonsense that got under your skin after the thousandth re-playing. Often times I’d catch myself humming it softly while I worked.

But Bradley loved it.

The music. The simple story lines. The cheap cardboard sets painted in bright pastels. The titular character--Buddy Wellington--in his rumpled oversized anthropomorphic bear suit. Bradley couldn’t get enough.

His mother and I humored his new Buddy Wellington craze as best we could.

For his sixth birthday, he insisted on a cake crudely decorated with images from Playtime Jamboree and for Halloween that same year his grandmother made him a tiny brown bear costume with buttons for eyes.

“I’m Buddy Wellington,” he told me proudly with a growl. “I’ll eat you if you misbehave. Gobble you up, in my cave.”

I’d snapped a few pictures with my phone and beat a hasty retreat before he could run through the whole song about minding your elders and behaving.

Now, I can hear some of you silently judging me. Why not more enthusiasm for your son’s interests? Why no interest in something he loves? It wasn’t like I wasn’t there. No absentee parenting from me. No, sir. I’d watched a few episodes with Bradly early on.

It was nothing special, I assure you.

Just a guy—probably in his mom’s basement—wearing a cheap homemade bear suit of mismatched faux fur and dancing around with a tambourine or ukulele and talking in a shrill Mickey-esque voice about dental hygiene and the like.

Harmless.

Familiar.

So, when my son brought up the contest, I didn’t think much of it.

Enter Now For A Chance To Appear As A Special Guest On Buddy Wellington’s Playtime Jamboree

The hand drawn, canary yellow letters, scrolled slowly across the bottom of the screen as the credits rolled—listing a PO box for entry’s to be mailed to.

“Please, Dad. Can I do that? Pretty please?” He pointed at the TV.

“You want to be on the show? What for?”

“It’d be so cool. Please? I just have to write in saying why I love Buddy Wellington. I can do it by myself. Please, Dad? Pleeeeassseee?”

I thought about my own mother—harassed into letting me order a Nickelodeon Magazine subscription from TV all those years ago, and smiled.

“Make sure you write down the address next time it’s on. We’ll have your mom buy some stamps.”

After all, surely hundreds--if not thousands-- of kids were writing in to this contest every day.

What could it hurt?

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Bradley agonized over his letter all week.

First, writing out a rough draft in pencil on an old yellow legal pad before transferring it painstakingly in pen onto a blank two dollar JUST BECAUSE card that featured a dancing bear in a leotard.

We dropped it into the mailbox Friday morning on our way to his school. Postmarked for somewhere in Nevada.

Bradley was a ball of energy in the backseat. Just couldn’t stop talking about how excited he was to meet Buddy Wellington and all the adventures he was going to have in Jamboree Valley. His mom and I tried to gently brace him for the likely bitter outcome.

“Honey, just remember, a lot of other boys and girls are going to send in letters too,” my wife told him. “So even if Buddy doesn’t pick you, that doesn’t mean he didn’t like your letter.”

“He’ll like it,” said Bradley thoughtfully. “He just has to. Mine was special.”

Another week went by. Or maybe two. It’s hard to remember.

Bradley watched his program religiously—learning to mind his please and thank you’s—the contest seemingly forgot. I’ll admit, I checked the mailbox in vicarious anticipation those first few days to my own slight pangs of disappointment.

Nothing.

And then came the news that Buddy Wellington was being cancelled with one final episode to air.

Bradley was inconsolable.

I tried to explain about ratings. Demographics and market shares and the like. But Bradley’s eyes had a tendency to glaze whenever I said things like ROI, profitability or gross margin.

“But what about the horses,” he moaned, burying his face in a couch cushion.

“What horses?”

“The horses of Jamboree Valley. If Buddy Wellington goes away who will take care of them?”

“They’ll be fine,” I said, without looking up from my phone. “Horses are smart. Maybe we can find a new show?”

He didn’t seem impressed with my suggestion.

“I don’t want a new show I want Buddy Wellington!”

He shrieked like a cat on fire and beat his little fists and heels against the carpet. I carried him to his room and dropped him on the bed, popped a VHS recording of Playtime Jamboree in the VCR and left him to self-soothe to the silly singing of Buddy Wellington.

Come with me

Have no cares

There’s fun to be had

When you play with bears

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

By dinner that night things were back on an even keel.

Bradley’s tantrum had subsided to a minor sulk. He was pouting, sure, but talkative, as we tucked into a chicken casserole.

Afterward, we put on a family movie and Bradley played with his Legos.

By nine o’clock it was his bedtime; my wife took him upstairs for a bath and tuck-in. By nine forty-five she came creeping back down the steps.

“He’s really upset about this whole Buddy Wellington thing,” she said.

“This time next month it’ll be Power Rangers or something,” I assured her. “Kid’s fads come and go all the time. He’ll get over it.”

We switched the DVD out for something a little more age appropriate and climbed into bed a little after eleven.

I peeked my head in Bradley’s door on my way to the bedroom. A small snoring mound shrouded in blankets and lit by the greenish-blue glow of the old Panasonic as another taped Playtime Jamboree episode wound down softly.

I hit the power button on the base of the TV before I closed the door to his room.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

I was awoken by my wife’s frantic shouts.

“Bradley? Bradley get out here right now! Bradley, I’m serious.”

I rolled onto my side and squinted through bleary eyes at the bedside alarm clock. 7:38 AM.

My wife appeared in the doorway looking frantic. “Have you seen Bradley?”

I rubbed a hand across my eyes, not really comprehending her. “Is there coffee on, babe?”

“Bradley! Has he come in here? He’s not in his bed.”

“What?”

“He’s not in his room! He’s not anywhere! Are you listening to me?” She bolted from the room and hurried down the hall shouting his name.

Something hot burst in my bowels and shot through my extremities like a coil of hot copper wiring. I threw back the covers and raced to his room in my underwear.

“Bradley? Where you at buddy?” I whipped the rumpled coverlet off his bed—exposing a host of tangled sheets and pillows, stuffed animals and empty air.

A little voice—soft and unfamiliar—had begun a terrible mantra inside my head.

OhmyGodOhmyGodOhmyGod

Again, and again in time to my quickening heartbeat.

The closet

I pulled the sliding double doors apart hard and thrust my head into the small dark space that smelled like my son.

“Bradley? You hiding? Come out come out. You’re gonna be in big trouble, mister.”

I pulled out shirts and little pairs of jeans. Nerf guns and baseballs and bags of Legos.

Nothing

Downstairs my wife had torn the living room apart. Couches stood away from walls with cushions strewn about. The coat closet by the front door was empty—the vacuum standing sad sentry beside a pile of our winter wear.

"Bradley, where are you baby?” She was hysterical; her face twisted and red with tears and snot. “Please come out. You’re scaring Mommy.”

“Have you checked the garage?” I demanded. “The attic? The yard?”

She could only sob. “My baby! My baby! Bradley!”

This isn’t happening, I thought as I punched through the back door and out onto the patio. This kind of thing doesn’t happen in real life.

Oh, it’s real, said the little poisonous voice inside me. He’s probably dead, you know.

The grass was slick with morning dew and my bare feet sank with a squelch. I didn’t care.

“Bradley? Come on out, buddy!” I called his name over and over. BradleyBradleyBradley. Until the words and letters ran together into a string of nonsense. A holy chant. A magic spell.

I was on my second circuit of the houses perimeter when I saw it and froze.

A disturbance in the muddy flowerbed outside the living room window. Footprints—long, unnaturally long—sunk deep in the dirt. Smudgy indistinct handprints on either side of the window pane. A fat serrated tear made in the mesh screen.

I started screaming in horrible understanding.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

Local cops showed up within thirty-five minutes. Guys from the FBI and local news rolled in a few hours after that.

It’s big business when a six-year-old boy disappears.

We put up posters with his smiling face on them.

MISSING: BRADLEY L. THEILS

HAVE YOU SEEN THIS BOY

We searched the surrounding woods arm in arm with volunteer searchers. We had candlelight vigils. We set up hotlines and websites and billboards. We went on Larry King and cried and pleaded for our son’s safe return.

Tips and calls flooded in. He was seen at a Florida gas station. No, he was living out of a homeless youth shelter, somewhere. No, he'd been taken by a Satanic cult as a human sacrifice.

But the leads went nowhere. No fingerprints. No signs of a struggle. Whoever it was had taken Bradley right out the front door.

And a little over a month later authorities called off the active search for my son.

It was heartbreaking.

We kept up the website and the billboards as long as we could afford to. But as weeks turned into months as fewer and fewer people came forward with leads, it began to feel like a siphon on our bank accounts.

My wife moved out the day the last billboard came down.

I don’t blame her, really. It was hard on both of us.

I tried to keep up my old routine. Find some new normal. But the not knowing gnawed at me. Kept me up at night. Was Bradley alive somewhere? Lost? Did he miss us?

Don’t kid yourself, he’s dead

That little voice was never quiet long. I did my best not to listen.

And then one day I got the package.

I found it jammed in my mailbox after work. A large manila envelope with my name written on the front in fat black marker. Funny, I didn’t remember ordering anything. It had no postal markings and felt strangely heavy for such a small thing.

Inside, I found an old VHS tape. The words ‘1:12 “Goodbye,”’ were written on a new white sticker across the front of the tape.

Some part of me knew I should call the police. Or agent Fields from the FBI. Someone. Anyone.

But another part of me knew I had to watch. To see what was on the tape.

At first, I thought it was broken. Nothing but static filled the TV screen as the VCR whirred and clicked. Maybe heat or age had warped it.

The static cut away suddenly to a large room with wet concrete floors and cinderblock walls half hidden in shadow. Something could be heard dripping steadily off camera. I squinted at the screen—tried to make out more detail of what I was seeing. A table and folding chair and a few oil drums. Not a lot else.

Then the music started. Faint and distorted. Like something being piped to a mic from an old boombox.

Welcome to Playtime Jamboree

A whole lotta fun for you and me

Step in-side and you will see

The friend you’ve got in Buh-uh-dee!

The camera angle shifted slightly, as if the tripod were jostled, and into view from stage left shuffled Buddy Wellington.

Only, this wasn’t the friendly smiling bear I’d come to know from Bradley’s descriptions. Or maybe it was and I’d only ever seen him peripherally.

The costume was old. A dirty patchwork of pelts stapled roughly together at the seams—threadbare in places it was soiled and wet with odd glistening stains under the arms and across the belly. The head, bulbous. A crude approximation of a bear’s face with an elongated snout and open snarling mouth covered in grayish fur and yellow taxidermized teeth. Big eyes—black flinty marbles about the size of my fist—were sewn into place with rough thread.

Buddy Wellington stopped in front of the camera and waved a furry paw.

“Hey, boys and girls. Welcome back to Jamboree Valley. It sure is great to see you all for our last show!” His voice was muffled by the mask. Low and throaty. Like sandpaper over rocks.

He clapped his hands together in excitement and did a kind of jig around the room.

“Today we’re gonna have lots of fun, right?”

I stared in silence.

“But before we get down to fun and games—“he paused and glanced about mischievously, “—let’s bring out our Super Special Guest. Buddy’s bestest friend and the winner of the ‘Why I love Buddy Wellington Competition’…little Bradley Theils! Come on over here Bradley!”

Icey fingers flitted nervously about my heart and my breath caught in my throat.

There was Bradley. My Bradley.

Dressed in his Transformers pajamas and barefoot, he stepped awkwardly in front of the camera.

“Bradley!” My scream caught in my throat and I grabbed the TV by its edges as if proximity to the screen might somehow bring me to my son.

“Bradley!” Screamed Buddy Wellington. “Bradley, everybody! Isn’t he just the greatest? Say hi to everyone watching at home, Bradley.”

Bradley raised an arm and waved. “Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad. HI everyone.”

Buddy Wellingotn held something up. It was the ugly blue and white JUST BECAUSE card Bradley had mailed off. “Bradley really loves me, don’t you Bradley? Tell everybody what you told me in your letter.”

A long string of drool oozed from the corner of Bradleys mouth when he spoke. “I said you’re my bestest friend and I wanted to come live with you and everybody at Jamboree Valley.” He didn’t wipe it away.

“Awwww! I love you too Bradley. And now you’re here how do you like it?” Buddy Wellington laid a fat greasy paw on Bradley’s shoulder.

“It’s pretty cool. I love it.”

His voice sounded lifeless. Slurred.

Buddy Wellington caressed Bradley’s neck—ran a paw down the front of his chest across Optimus Prime’s stern face.

“Well now you’re here as my Special Guest, Bradley! And you don’t ever have to leave! Oh, what fun games do I have planned for you. Now say, so long!”

Bradley waved again. “Goodbye.”

The monstrous bear waved animatedly as he dragged my son off screen.

I'll eat you if you misbehave

Gobble you up

In my cave

The screen went black.

I never saw Bradley again.

<><><><><><><><><><><><>

My son was a Guest Star on Buddy Wellington’s Playtime Jamboree.

Have you heard of this show?

God, I hope not.

#reddit #nosleep #scary #story

[blahblahblippyblah]

The Adventures of Blitz and Hearth (before TSOS)

Chapter 4: Hearth and Blitz Find Mimir

full story: http://archiveofourown.org/works/11389974/chapters/25541490

They landed (more like fell) into Midgard. Well that's where Hearth assumed they were. The place looked very similar to Nidavellir except there was a sun shining in the sky. Hearth quickly jumped to his feet and took off his Hoodie. He draped it over Blitzen's head.

He could see Blitzen's face move like he was saying something but Hearth couldn't hear what he was saying and his sweater blocked out his lips. Blitz went to raise the sweater but Hearth kept his hand on the top of it so he couldn't take it off. Before they left Nidavellir Blitz had put on some leather gloves and a pitch helmet with a dark net that hung around his face and draped I've his shoulders. Blitz assured Hearth it would help keep the sun out and stop him from becoming petrified but Hearth didn't trust it. Blitz couldn't know for sure it would work he had never seen the sun before.

Hearth quickly took in his surroundings. They were in the middle of a well-groomed park. There weren’t any people around which hearth thought was strange. To their left Hearth saw a large foot bridge. He grabbed Blitz’s arm and began to lead him under the bridge. Hearth's legs wobbled and he stumbled making Blitz have to hold him up. Using the -- rune to transport them seemed to knock the stuffing out of him he felt like a rag doll. When he successfully led Blitz under the bridge Hearth fell back into the grass just beside the shadow of the bridge. He let the sun fall onto his face. It helped ease his urge to vomit.

Blitz took off the sweater and looked around leaning against the underneath wall of the bridge. Hearth watched him take a deep breath and steady himself. Apparently the travelling had disoriented him as well. He turned to Hearth still lying in the ground and signed.

"You ok?"

Hearth nodded. I'm all honesty he wasn't ok. He felt like passing out and sleeping for a week straight. But he could settle for a short nap.

"Tired. Using magic hard. Need a nap" Hearth signed up.

Blitz nodded. "I think we're in Midgard" he said as he signed.

"Me too" Hearth signed.

Blitz head moved like he was talking. Hearth couldn't make out what he was saying. The black netting blocked out his face.

"Can’t see thought netting" Hearth signed.

Blitz signed back. "Sleep, I will keep a lookout"

Before Hearth could sign back a thank you he passed out.

*

Hearth woke up to someone shaking his shoulder. He looked up and saw Blitz standing without his helmet on. Hearth sat bolt upright and started to tell off Blitz, but Blitz cut him off by pointing behind Hearth. Hearth looked and saw that the sky was darker. Behind him the sky has turned red and orange. The glowing ball that was the sun was slowly falling behind the tree line making the sky darker red. He didn't know how long he sat there watching the sun disappeared but when the sun was completely gone Hearth shivered. It didn't come back up like it did in Alfheim. It had disappeared completely. Hearth felt his eyes widen and he began to shake. The sun had disappeared completely. He was freaking out. He suddenly felt claustrophobic and scared. He felt a tap on his shoulder and looked up to see Blitz talking to him.

He was grinning for some reason. "You doing ok? You look like you just saw a ghost"

Hearth shook his head. "Sun gone. Where did it go?" he signed.

Blitz laughed which irritated Hearth. He didn't see how this was funny.

"The sun in Midgard rises and then falls. It will come back by morning." Blitz replied.

That calmed Hearth a little bit.

"That was the first time I ever saw a sun. Or a sunset" Blitz said as he signed.

Hearth repeated the motion for this new word sunset. The he signed the words “same here”.

Both Blitz and Hearth stood up. Blitz turned to him. The street lights on the bridge had turned on showering them in a fuzzy yellow light.

"What now?" he signed.

"The Runes said Mimir was here somewhere” Hearth signed. "We should look around"

They walked down the foot path and eventually came across a billboard map. The top said that they were in Central Park.

"Central of what?" Hearth signed to Blitz. Blitz just shrugged his shoulder and examined the map.

"There's a fountain over here" said signed Blitz pointing at a spot in the park. "Sounds like a good bet”

Hearth nodded.

As they got closer to the fountain they only ran into a few people. One lady jogging who paid them no attention, Some teenagers setting off fire cracker, and a police officer on a horse. When Hearth saw the officer at a distance he pushed Blitz into a bush and dived in after him. Blitz wasn't impressed.

"Why did you do that?" he signed angrily but keeping his mouth shut.

"Police" Hearth simply signed.

"I don't know that sign" Blitz signed back.

Hearth huff and spelled out "P O L I C E, I don't like."

Blitz sighed and singed back "We aren't doing anything wrong. But hiding in a bush is a little suspicious"

Hearth just put his fingers up to his lips in case Blitz decides to talk. The officer got right beside there hiding place and Hearth felt himself tense. Cops of Hearth never got along. One time when hearth was 16 he tried to run away. The police officers in Alfheim found him hiding in a railroad yard. They were merciless to Hearth. The worst part was them bringing him back to his father once they realised who he was. Hearth was now 20 and he wasn’t even in Alfheim. There’s no way his dad had people looking to bring him back all the way in Midgard. But still Hearth played it safe. He knew his dad had informants all over the 9 worlds. There was no way he was ever going back to Alfheim. He didn’t care how much it embarrassed his parents to have a runaway deaf son. They waited in the bushes until the mounted officer was gone.

Blitz stood up slowly and brushed the dirt off his brown wool pants and navy pea coat.

"What was that about?" he signed as he spoke.

Hearth just shook his head and signed "Nothing"

"Buddy if we're going to be stuck together you might as well tell me" Blitz encouraged.

Hearth huffed and pulled himself up.

"Bad experience with police. Police don't like me very much. Plus I don't know if my parents are looking for me. They have people in all 9 world's" Hearth signed quickly.

Blitz patted his back but didn't say anything. Hearth appreciated that Blitz was a good listener (well technically Hearth didn't say anything so it wasn't exactly listening) but Blitz always made him feel comfortable about talking about his problems.

They walked for quite a bit. The temperature was slowly dropping and Hearth could feel the wind biting his arms through his sweater. He shivered. Why was Midgard so cold? Blitz looked fine. His pea coat looked warm, and he had put his leather gloves back on.

Eventually they reached the fountain. It was a little underwhelming. The water was turned off so that it was just a pool of dirty water in the bottom basin. They walked up to it and looked around. No sign of a severed head. Hearth stuck his hand in to the water. It was cold but not weird or different in any way.

He was half way though singing "I don't think this is it" to Blitz when he felt the fountain shake under him.

Blitz jumped back and Hearth guessed that something had made a loud sound. He jumped off the fountain and looked up. The water had turned on and sprouting from the top of the fountain was a severed head with a scraggly red beard and matted red hair. Hearth eyes widened. This had to be Mimir. The eyes of the head took in their appearance and somehow managed a head flip into the bottom basin. The head popped up and Hearth Blitz fell to their knees. Hearth guessed that was the right thing to do when you met a god as he stared at his running shoes. He felt Blitz nudge him and he looked up as Mimir’s head floated above the water. Mimir was saying something so Hearth concentrated on his wrinkly lips.

'I have been waiting for you too. Took you long enough. Now come forward and ask me what you want to know'

Hearth turned to look at Blitz who also looked back at Hearth. From his expression Hearth was sure Blitz was thinking the same thing he was. This might not have been the best idea.

Eventually Blitz got up the courage and walked forward dragging Hearth with him.

"Uh lord Mimir. Me and my friend Hearthstone have come to ask your help. Hearthstone wishes to learn the runes so that he may learn magic. I have come to ask how to make the dwarves appreciate my fashion and also how to get back my father's honour" Blitz stammered out.

Hearth had a hard time reading his lips as they seemed to tense up while talking to Mimir.

Mimir’s head titled back and Hearth assumed he was laughing.

'Yes yes I'm quite aware what you both seek. Let's just get onto business. 4 years of service that is my price to drink from the fountain. The answer you both seek will be found in your time in my service."

"What happens if we don't want to be in your service" Hearth signed. He looked at Blitz to translate but the head understood him and answered.

"My dear Hearthstone. Knowledge does not come free. Your fate can go one of 2 ways. You can leave now and never taste the waters. I can give your hearing and you may go back to Alfheim. Or you can drink from my fountain and serve me. Through your time in my service the runes will reveal themselves to you. You will never hear but because of this you will do incredible magic. You will rewrite reality. But like knowledge magic doesn't come cheap. You are an empty cup. Drained by all those years wergild. Only those who have felt great pain and an empty may become filled with magic"

Hearth could feel Bitz’s head turn to stare at him when Mimir mentioned the wergild. Hearth felt his face flash with anger. Everything Mimir said, from the empty hole of pain Hearth carried around hit him to the wergild felt like he was being hit with a ton of bricks. It’s one thing to hold it in and keep it to himself, but Mimir saying it like he was merely commenting on the weather forecast. Well that was not copacetic with him. Maybe Blitz was right this god was crazy. Not just crazy he was evil. Hearth took a deep breath

"What about Blitzen?” he signed.

"Oh Blitzen's choice is much easier. He can choose not to drink and simply slip back into his life. He will never achieve his dreams, but he will avoid a very painful life indeed. I see a lot of suffering, and a painful death in his future if he drinks. But I also see him achieving his purpose and finding happiness. There is no dark without the light."

Hearth felt his hands shaking with anger but he controlled himself and turned to Blitz.

"You were right. I'm sorry we should go. We can find another way.” Hearth signed. He went to walk away with Blitz but Blitz hesitated and didn't follow. Mimir smirked at Blitz. Then addressed them both.

"Another thing you might want to consider before leaving little elf. If you leave now I can tell you that your futures will split. Eventually you Hearthstone will find yourself back in Alfheim and never leave. Blitz here will spend the rest of his days in Nidavellir. You will never see one another again. Although if you drink I see that your futures will intertwine. A friendship is such a horrible thing to waste. Especially a friendship so strong. All it takes is one sip." Mimir continued to taunt.

Hearth turned to Mimir and thought about singing some very rude thing but Blitz grabbed his hands before he could as if he had just read his mind.

"Umm Lord Mimir. Can we have a second to talk about this first?" Blitz said.

"Go ahead. Take all the time you want. I know what your decisions will be" Mimir said as if he was bored.

Blitz lead Hearth over to the stairs that led down to the fountain out of earshot of Mimir.

Before Blitz could say anything Hearth cut him off.

"You can't drink from his fountain. I won't let you. I don't like the sound of your future with it. It's not worth it. A life of suffering and a painful death. Trust me it's not worth it. I won't let you do it" He signed so fast he was surprised Blitz caught it all.

When he stopped Blitz put his hand on Hearth's arm. He meant to put it on his shoulder but when Hearth was standing Blitz couldn't reach it so naturally.

"Mimir also said that if I didn't I wouldn't see you ever again."

"So" Hearth signed irritated.

In truth what Mimir had said about losing his only friend had hit him hard. But he wouldn't let Blitz drink just so he Hearth could keep Blitzen in his life.

"Hearth I'm doing it. There's no way I'm going back to Nidavellir with my old life. Suffering or no suffering I'm doing it. I prayed to the gods and they sent me you. Your're my first real friend I'm not giving hat up"

Hearth was too angry to sign. He just threw his hands up and let them fall behind his head. He let out a long breath and closed his eyes trying to calm down.

Blitz poked his shoulder to make Hearth loom at him.

"I'm worried about you. Mimir said he can give you your hearing back. Is that what you want?" Blitz signed slowly.

Hearth face slackened and he hung his head. Staring at his shoes again as he signed.

"I don't want to hear. I am never going back to Alfheim. Too painful. I don't even know if getting my hearing back will help even if I do ho back. Parents hate me for being death but hate me more for other thing" he signed. His hands were shaking so he hoped Blitz could understand.

After a few seconds he felt a hand under his chin gently pointing his face up.

"I know this isn't the place to talk about your home. But I want you to know that if you choose magic I will always be there to support you. Your my best friend now bud. And I'm not going anywhere." Blitz said this while keeping his hand on Hearth chin to stop him from looking away.

Hearth frowned and wiped at his eye before the tear he could feel making its way out could fall. He had never had a friend before. All he had had was his brother, and his brother was now gone. He wouldn't lose Blitzen. Hearth nodded and he and Blitz made their way back to the fountain.

Mimir said something but Hearth refused to look at him. When Blitz bent down to drink from the scummy fountain water Hearth bent beside him and followed suit. When they stood Mimir gave a malicious smile.

"Good now the first thing you are to do is get back the rest of your runes tones"

Hearth felt the fear creep back into his bones. Anything but that.

#blitzstone #hearthstone/blitzen #blitzen #Hearthstone #magnus chase and the gods of asgard #mcga #magnus chase

[char27martin]

What I Learned as a Journalist, Book Doctor, Ghostwriter, and Publicist

By the time I was five years old, I already knew what I was going to be when I grew up. Disillusioned with my previous fantasy careers of zookeeper and cowgirl, I set my sights on something much more attainable.

*deep breath*

I was going to be a famous writer.

Simple enough, right? As you’ve probably guessed by now … not so much.

Thankfully, there are many ways to earn a living as a wordsmith while you work toward becoming the next Stephen King. (Note to Mr. King: don’t worry; you’re still safe.) And, best of all, each one of them will teach you something valuable you can apply to your writing career.

This guest post is by J.H. Moncrieff. Moncrieff writes psychological and supernatural suspense novels that let her readers safely explore the dark corners of the world. She won Harlequin’s search for the next Gillian Flynn in 2016. Her first published novella, THE BEAR WHO WOULDN’T LEAVE, was featured in Samhain’s CHILDHOOD FEARS collection and stayed on its horror bestsellers list for over a year. The first two novels of her new GhostWriters series, CITY OF GHOSTS and THE GIRL WHO TALKS TO GHOSTS, will be officially released on May 16, 2017. When not writing, J.H. loves visiting the world’s most haunted places, advocating for animal rights, and summoning her inner ninja in muay thai class. To get free ebooks and a new spooky story every week, check out her Hidden Library. You can find her on Twitter and Facebook.

Since not everyone will choose such a roundabout path to literary fame and fortune, here’s some of my hard-earned wisdom for you.

What Being a Journalist Taught Me About Writing

Journalists get to do cool stuff. They have adventures—investigating crime scenes and covering fires and staking out biker gangs in the back of a cop car. My journalism career gave me endless story fodder, but it also taught me a few lessons I’ll never forget.

Treat writing like a business. Journalists have to worry about these little things called deadlines. When an editor gives you one, you meet it. Meet your deadlines or you don’t get paid. Surprisingly, it’s an easy choice to make.

How civilians, police, and reporters really react. As someone who writes mysteries, suspense, and other novels dealing with death, this knowledge has been invaluable. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve read manuscripts where people act in bizarre ways: cops hire civilians and give them guns, reporters surround a home and scream questions at the parents the second a child goes missing, and so on. My experience has ensured I won’t make the same mistakes.

Sources are everything. If you write police procedurals, talk to a cop. If your protagonist is a doctor, see if you can follow some friendly neighborhood physicians on their rounds. Does someone find a body in your story? Spend a few minutes asking a forensic anthropologist what it would look and smell like. You don’t have to write what you know, but you better know what you write.

Kill your darlings. Journalists follow the inverted pyramid formula—the most important stuff goes at the top and trickles down from there. This practice stems from the days when stories were cut to fit newspapers, so articles often lost a few lines from the bottom. One thing journalists learn in a hurry is to write lean. There’s no room for extraneous information. If it doesn’t advance your story, kill it.

What Being a Book Doctor Taught Me About Writing

Book doctors perform the same function as substantive or developmental editors. Simply put, they’re hired to fix your book. The only difference is that agents and editors are usually the clients instead of writers.

Editors are essential. Many writers believe they can edit their own work. Take it from me—a professional editor who has a copyeditor and three proofreaders check her stuff—you can’t. With publishing budgets being what they are, it’s worth hiring your own editor before you submit your manuscript, or before you put that book up for sale. It will save you a lot of heartbreak.

Pick a side. The great majority of the stories I’ve worked on were fatally flawed because the writer couldn’t decide which story to tell. I’ve seen romances with no romance, horrors that weren’t scary, thrillers that were actually food memoirs in disguise, and historical fiction with no plot. So much hassle can be avoided if a writer gets really clear about what the story is before beginning work on the first draft.

Kill your darlings. Book doctors have to be tough. We’re not there to be your buddy or pump up your ego; we’re there to make your story better. I can always tell which authors will go the distance. They’re the ones who thank you for your hard work, lick their wounds, and crawl back into the trenches to emerge with a much better second (or third, fourth, or fifth) draft. The ones who pout, scream, accuse us of being jealous of their talent, or pull the silent treatment? They don’t get far.

[Want to land an agent? Here are 4 things to consider when researching literary agents.]

What Being a Ghostwriter Taught Me About Writing

Over the last few years, ghostwriters have become synonymous with James Patterson, but the truth is, tons of books—even bestselling books—were written by ghosts. Lots of people have interesting stories to tell, but may not have the ability to put it all together. That’s where ghosts come in.

Writers’ block is a myth. When writers are slacking, they often point fingers at their muses or lack thereof. “I wasn’t inspired,” or “The story wasn’t speaking to me.” When you have to sit down every day and put your emotions, heart, and talent into a story that isn’t even yours, you quickly learn how little inspiration has to do with it. Writers can write anything if they put their mind to it and stop making excuses.

Not everything you write will be a masterpiece—and that’s okay. Perfectionism is not an option for ghostwriters. You may be asked to write characters you hate, plot developments you feel are unrealistic, and settings that are less than authentic. Perhaps you’ll be hired to write a tell-all book you secretly believe is a complete fraud. It doesn’t matter. People enjoy reading lots of different books, and few of them are perfect. It can be strangely freeing to write something you have no personal attachment to.

Kill your darlings. Ghosts don’t get to have darlings! You may think you’ve come up with the most profound turn of phrase ever, but that’s not your job. Your job is to sound like the client. And if you don’t, it doesn’t matter how clever you were. That gem is going to end up on the cutting room floor.

What Being a Publicist Taught Me About Writing

If you want to be a successful writer, you could do a lot worse than become a publicist. During my years promoting everything from Halloween parties and museum exhibits to genealogy conferences and musicians, I’ve gained some valuable insights.

9% of writers are doing social media wrong. The endless “Buy My Book” Facebook updates, the spammy automatic messages on Twitter, the passive-aggressive blog posts that bemoan your latest defeat at the hands of the publishing industry? They’re not helping you.

Relationships are everything. Want someone to buy your book? Be their friend. Get them to like you. But not because they’ll buy your book, because you genuinely find them interesting and want to communicate with them. Use social media to connect to people in an authentic way, and book sales will follow. You can’t fake sincerity. At least not for long.

Clarity is crucial. If a reporter calls, wanting to know more about what I’m promoting, I don’t ramble on for twenty minutes about the background of everyone who’s ever worked on the project. I sum it up in a sentence, a sentence designed to suck them in and make them say, “Tell me more.” A lot of writers hate elevator pitches and query letters, and I get it—writing them is like being stuck in the seventh circle of hell, but they’re so important. People have short attention spans, so grab ’em while you got ’em.

Kill your darlings. Publicity is about trying different things until one of them works. It might take ten, or twenty, or even thirty ideas until you hit on the right combination of public appeal and client approval. You have to keep moving, and keep pitching, until that wonderful moment when all the stars align. If you get stuck on the first idea you come up with, it’ll never happen. You’ll never see the magic.

What have your jobs taught you about writing? I’d love to hear your stories!

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If you’re an agent looking to update your information or an author interested in contributing to the GLA blog or the next edition of the book, contact Writer’s Digest Books Managing Editor Cris Freese at [email protected].

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from Writing Editor Blogs – WritersDigest.com http://www.writersdigest.com/editor-blogs/guide-to-literary-agents/learned-journalist-book-doctor-ghostwriter-publicist