#left handed problems man

[starry-bi-sky]

i need to get this out of my head before i continue clone^2 but danny being the first batkid. Like, standard procedure stuff: his parents and sister die, danny ends up with Vlad Masters. He drags him along to stereotypical galas and stuff; Danny is not having a good time.

He ends up going to one of the Wayne Galas being hosted ever since elusive Bruce Wayne has returned to Gotham. Vlad is crowing about having this opportunity as he's been wanting to sink his claws into the company for a long while now. Danny is too busy grieving to care what he wants.

And like most Galas, once Vlad is done showing him off to the other socialites and the like, he disappears. Off to a dark corner, or to one of the many balconies; doesn't matter. There he runs into said star of the show, Bruce who is still young, has been Batman for at least a year at this point, but still getting used to all these damn people and socializing. He's stepped off to hide for a few minutes before stepping back into the shark tank.

And he runs into a kid with circles under his eyes and a dull gleam in them. Familiar, like looking into a mirror.

Danny tries to excuse himself, he hasn't stopped crying since his parents died and it's been months. He rubs his eyes and stands up, and stumbles over a half-hearted apology to Mister Wayne. Some of Vlad's etiquette lessons kicking in.

Bruce is awkward, but he softens. "That's alright, lad," he says, pulling up some of that Brucie Wayne confidence, "I was just coming out here to get some fresh air."

There's a little pressing; Bruce asks who he's here with, Danny says, voice quiet and grief-stricken, that he's with his godfather Vlad Masters. Bruce asks him if he knows where he is, and Danny tells him he does. Bruce offers to leave, Danny tells him to do whatever he wants.

It ends with Bruce staying, standing off to the side with Danny in silence. Neither of them say a word, and Danny eventually leaves first in that same silence.

Bruce looks into Vlad Masters after everything is over, his interest piqued. He finds news about him taking in Danny Fenton: he looks into Danny Fenton. He finds news articles about his parents' deaths, their occupations, everything he can get his hands on.

At the next gala, he sees Danny again. And he looks the same as ever: quiet like a ghost, just as pale, and full of grief. Bruce sits in silence with him again for nearly ten minutes before he strikes a conversation.

"Do you like to do anything?"

Nothing. Just silence.

Bruce isn't quite sure what to do: comfort is not his forte, and Danny doesn't know him. He's smart enough to know that. So he starts talking about other things; anything he can think of that Brucie Wayne might say, that also wasn't inappropriate for a kid to hear.

Danny says nothing the entire time, and is again the first to leave.

Bruce watches from a distance as he intercts with Vlad Masters; how Vlad Masters interacts with him. He doesn't like what he sees: Vlad Masters keeps a hand on Danny's shoulder like one would hold onto the collar of a dog. He parades him around like a trophy he won.

And there are moments, when someone gets too close or when someone tries to shake Danny's hand, of deep possessiveness that flints over Vlad Masters' eyes. Like a dragon guarding a horde.

He plays the act of doting godfather well: but Bruce knows a liar when he sees one. Like recognizes like.

Danny is dull-eyed and blank faced the entire time; he looks miserable.

So Bruce tries to host more parties; if only so that he can talk to Danny alone. Vlad seems all too happy to attend, toting Danny along like a ribbon, and on the dot every hour, Danny slips away to somewhere to hide. Bruce appears twenty minutes later.

"I was looking into your godfather's company," he says one night, trying to think of more things to say. Some nights all they do is sit in silence. "Some of my shareholders were thinking of partnering up--"

"Don't."

He stops. Danny hardly says a word to him, he doesn't even look at him -- he's sitting on the ground, his head in his knees. Like he's trying to hide from the world. But he's looking, blue eyes piercing up at Bruce.

Bruce tilts his head, practiced puppy-like. "Pardon?"

"Don't." Danny says, strongly. "Don't make any deals with Vlad."

It's the most words Danny's spoken to him, and there's a look in his eyes like a candle finding its spark. Something hard. Bruce presses further, "And why is that?"

The spark flutters, and flushes out. Danny blinks like he's coming out of a trance, and slumps back into himself. "Just don't."

Bruce stares at him, thoughtful, before looking away. "Alright. I won't."

And they fall back into silence.

Danny, when he leaves, turns to look at Bruce, "I mean it." He says; soft like he's telling a secret, "Don't make any deals with him. Don't be alone with him. Don't work with him."

He's scampered away before Bruce can question him further.

(He never planned on working with Vlad Masters and his company; he's done his research. He's seen the misfortune. But nothing ever leads back to him. There's no evidence of anything. But Danny knows something.)

At their next meeting, Danny starts the conversation. It's new, and it's welcomed. He says, cutting through their five minute quiet, that he likes stars. And he doesn't like that he can't see them in Gotham.

Bruce hums in interest, and Danny continues talking. It's as if floodgates had been opened, and as Bruce takes a sip of his wine, it tastes like victory.

("Tucker told me once--") ("Tucker?") ("Oh-- uh, one of my best friends. He's a tech geek. We haven't talked in a while.")

(Danny shut down in his grief -- his friends are worried, but can't reach him. When he goes back to the manor with Vlad, he fishes out his phone and sends them a message.)

(They are ecstatic to hear from him.)

It all culminates until one day, when Danny is leaving to go back inside, that Bruce speaks up. "You know," He says, leaning against the railing. "The manor has many rooms; plenty of space for a guest."

The implication there, hidden between the lines. And Danny is smart, he looks at Bruce with a sharp glean in his eyes, and he nods. "Good to know."

The next time they see each other, Danny has something in his hands. "Can you hold onto something for me?" He asks.

When Bruce agrees, Danny places a pearl into his palm. or, at least, it's something that looks like a pearl. Because it's cold to the touch; sinking into Bruce's white silk gloves with ease and shimmering like an opal. It moves a little as it settles into his hand, and the moves like its full of liquid.

Bruce has never seen anything like it before, but he does know this; it's not human. "What is it?" He asks, and Danny looks uncomfortable.

"I can't tell you that." He says, shifting on his foot like he's scared of someone seeing it. "But please be careful with it. Treat it like it's extremely fragile."

When Bruce gets home, he puts it in an empty ring box and hides the box in the cave. He tries researching into what it is. he can't find anything concrete.

Everything comes to a head one day when Danny appears at the manor's doorstep one evening, soaking wet in the rain, and bleeding from the side.

#dpxdc #dp x dc #danny fenton is not the ghost king #dpxdc crossover #dpdc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc prompt #man i just really need more dpdc stuff where danny and bruce have a good relationship. like man i NEED it. like i need to see these two #bonding together. and not in a cracky 'oh danny is a distant friend/cousin/etc' stuff but like. active participants in each other's lives #or as active as can be in this case. i neeeeed these two getting along and caring about one another #this idea came to me like last night and hasn't left since nd it was driving me up the wall to think about both positively and negatively b #i neeeded someone to hear about this or i was gonna implode #danny is the first son #tried to just get the general gist of the idea down but i definitely thought of the idea that bruce lowkey suspects vlad for having a hand #Vlad allows Danny to sneak off because he thinks Danny is alone. if he knew Bruce was there he'd be piiisssed and would put a stop to it #Sam and Tucker are alive they just got ghosted for a bit by danny bc he was in Major Grief and didn't wanna socialize. He couldn't go to #them because he didn't wanna put them in danger via Vlad. #oh that thing he handed Bruce? Yeah that's his ghost core. I have a headcanon (that isnt always applied) that ghosts can take their cores #out of their bodies at will and painlessly and without issue. and its common practice actually to do so bc they can be a not insignificant #distance away from said core before problems start to act up. and its common for ghosts to leave their physical cores at their lairs for #safekeeping because as long as the physical core is fine: so is the ghost. they can reform if their body gets destroyed. it also acts as a #fast travel sometimes. where they can reform at their core in an instant. its not inspired in the slightest by SU but i do see the overlap #most cores are pretty small for safety sake: its harder to hit if its small. and they're pr resilient too but its better to be safe than #sorry. so yeah. danny essentially gave bruce the physical embodiment of his soul and indirectly said #'if anything happens to me at least i'll be safe with you' #danny doesn't know he's batman btw #starry rambles. #was gonna go into danny becoming a vigilante beside bruce but im sleeeepy so i'll do that in a reblog. he's gonna go by nightingale if #anyone is interested. stereotypical but to be frank it is a *good* name imo. has a good amount of syllables and consonants to it #and the bird theme. and since its part of an ancestral name it has even more backing for it being bird-y without being meta

[simpleman193]

Happy Lefthanders day to you all

#simple man #manliness #simple life #traditional gender roles #christian manhood #traditional manhood #chivalry #tradblr #traditional man #gentleman #left handed #left handed problems #the lefthanded gun #paul newman #cowboy #billy the kid #hollywood #13th of august #gauche #canhoto #dia do canhoto #giornata mondiale dei mancini #mancini

[thecreaturecalledriza]

I just think it would be very nice if someone (coughSamBellamycough) took Izzy’s tummy troubles into account and doesn’t treat it like a joke or a burden. Whether it’s a sensitive stomach from anxiety or ARFID or food intolerances/allergies or IBS. Sam would definitely have the money and—in my head and general fanon it seems—the care and devotion to give Izzy gentle food that still tastes nice. Or just, you know, making sure Izzy has a healthy relationship with what food he can eat.

Here I go again with my food as a metaphor for love kick…

#bellhands #izzy hands #sam bellamy #projecting some of my food and stomach issues onto the cranky old man #Because of one line about Izzy puking and shitting himself after being left in charge during a storm #dizzy izzy #izzy the spewer #I hate those nicknames so much #Stomach and food problems are no joke #Sam Bellamy would never #I just want izzy to have a nice time #And that somehow keeps relating back to food in my mind #Seriously want the next person who calls Izzy mean names related to his stomach problems to get frickin decked

[anachronic-cobra]

Writing Woes

Me: damn this is a great story idea :) I'm really enjoying writing this idea out! The potential character dynamics, psychology, and dichotomy of love vs hate vs indifference are very compelling to me!

Me ten minutes later: ...is this the plot of fucking Death Note

A fairly average man comes into a great power, without a word and without a reason.  Surely if this power has come to him, it becomes his duty to use it to better the world, yes?  He will not reveal his part in creating that betterment, of course.  He needs no thanks for doing the right thing, and people's opinions can be fickle.  He is careful.

But still he wonders, why? Why did this power come to him, of all people? Why is someone trying so hard to stop him? If he has the power to change the world for the better, surely it's because he's special.  He was chosen for this.  Anyone disagreeing with his choices are going against destiny!  That faceless man, the nameless one who keeps him cornered, parroting lies in his garbled voice to turn the people against him, he was no better than a demon playing at humanity!

It's pride, that's what it is.  They wanted to keep him from bettering the world because it would mean admitting their faults.  Can't they see how much better things are getting?  They'll all be better if we just... dig out the weeds.

The governments want to stop him, the police, the media, but look at their own actions!  Surely they shouldn't judge his actions as terrible.  Such hypocrisy in such widespread positions of power, the whole system needed uprooting!  This was it. This was his purpose - to weed out the evils of the world and make the world just again.

They could call him a monster, a murderer, they could say he was "playing God"... what did they know?  If God existed, He surely didn't care for the world as much as him!  God was just as bad as the rest!

But every day, more and more people are understanding my vision.  They want to see the world peace I will ensure.  Every day they make their pleas for justice, and I hear them.  The righteous love me as I love them, and I must reward their devotion.

Still, that one man still stands in the way of my future.  Every step I take towards a perfect world, he is only a step behind, dragging me back by the neck.  Who is he?  The things he says, undermining me, condemning me.  And they are listening.

I despise him.

I will weed him out, too.

-----

Hate is not the enemy of love, but its lover.  Entwined within each is devotion; the desire to follow another to the ends of the earth, for better or for worse.  The enemy of devotion is indifference.  When one's thoughts of another stir no emotion, this is the death of love.

Given this, what is hate but an act of worship? The devout destroy themselves from within to follow the path of the self-styled God, with hatred, with fear, with lust, with defeat.  But what is God when devotion dies and all that remains are frail facsimiles of love?  When it is God's turn to die, it will die pathetic and unknown.

#from the desk of anachron #writing #writing problems #I am struggling to work out a plot that won't make someone go is this death note #but I like the themes of this so much #I want a man to become god only to die frail alone and mortal at the hands of a man who does not care who he is or what he's done #i want him to realize in his last moments the shock that victory was hollow and he is pathetic and alone #i want it to hurt him in every conceivable way #and i want him to realize in his last moments that devotion born from fear of retribution has left him less than nothing #but that is the PLOT OF FUCKING DEATH NOTE

[unkillobel]

i need to bitch about my job for a minute in the tags

#ok so a senior role was made available in my team that i could’ve applied for #and there’s two of us in the team so. yknow pretty certain that one of us would get it #it was sort of replacing someone who left who handled a fucktonne of work across two other teams i work with #and ultimately i decided not to apply for the job because 1. the other guy on my team has been there two years longer than i have #and 2. my health is fucking precarious #mental and physical. i already work slightly reduced hours to try and manage my chronic fatigue but even then i have frequent crashes #and whenever my workload gets too much i just shut down. like the worst stress response ever #so my coworker got the job and a hefty pay rise and im like good for him :) #and then he went on leave for 6 weeks so i got handed 60% of his workload #and when you get handed people’s projects you get a good insight into how they work and how they coordinate shit/write documents etc #and not only are these projects a piece of piss compared to the aid programme stuff i’ve been doing #his actual work is like?? not great #i know i’m a perfectionist and i put way too much effort into my documents and reports but #there’s no way this guy is being paid $30k more for this!! #so now i’m like why didn’t i fucking interview for the senior role!! #i have this terrible impostor syndrome even though i’ve been there a year and get good feedback on my projects #part of it because i’m 22 and i am constantly like how the fuck am i here with an arts degree. i don’t know Anything #but shit man. if this guy’s mediocre work is worth a senior role #i have had a couple of job offers with a decent pay bump which is still wild to me. you want to pay me WHAT #<- well aware this is a great ‘problem’ to have #anyway i think i need a pay rise. we’ve just had a mass exodus from our team. i reckon if i threatened to leave they would lift my salary? #but i don’t know if i want to blackmail my manager lmao

[pegging-satan]

Made the mistake of imagining Kunikida with sleeve garters now I am extremely turned on someone draw this please and thanks

#he’s so sexy and for what #maths teacher? so so so sexy I’d purposefully get some problems wrong so he would yell at me and punish me #yk how in the old days they used to whack your palms with a ruler or stick? Yeah #he could do that to me and I’d be on my knees begging for more #wow the fuck kinda trauma do I have💀 whatever it is…… I want that man #I want him to use and abuse my body as he wants I want him to rail me hard and fast till all the frustration has left him #dude I am nothing but a toy ok I would just always be ready he doesn’t even need to ask just come in and then come IN ykwim #wow like. imagine him coming home after a frustrating stressful day. he’s about to snap he’s barely hanging on. until he gets home. and you #open the door for him and he comes in drops his bag where he is and pins you against the wall with his hand around your neck #he kisses you hard and fast and then before you know it you’re bent over right there your hands clawing at the wall— #I- oh my god. after he’s done is the first time you speak to him after he got home. dazed and fucked out you go ‘welcome home’ #and with them taking off his shoes and grabbing his bag he says ‘I’m not done with you yet’ and disappears into y’all’s room — #oh my goodness I just. I’m just. I am filled with lustful thoughts #specifically for this man in particular WOWZA #bungou stray dogs #bsd kunikida #kunikida smut

[miodiodavinci]

good news: got a decent cotton tee off the men's clearance rack for a whopping four dollars AND saw a VERY non-binerary button down but it was $22 bucks and bright colors i never wear so i was scared i'd never wear it and thus i put it back

bad news: got nerve pain in my left hand while sorting through shirts at the other store, couldn't find anything that wasn't "omg i'm such an alcoholic lmao #good vibes" or "incredibly deep cut with non-existent sleeves" in one section and "gratuitous japanese grunge" or "little boy's first golf polo" in the other, and nearly left the store crying due to People Being Shitty™ and not realizing i was right beside them

#for context #after coming out empty handed from every other section #i decided to try my luck in the regular women's button downs #and while i was looking these two teens rounded the corner and had one of the bigger shirts catch their eye #and they pulled it out like 'oh my god.....girl......if i ever have to size up to this just kill me' #and they laughed for a second before they noticed me and got this sheepish look and scurried away #but then they burst out laughing again #and i know #that second laugh was probably a 'oh my god i'm so embarrassed i said that' kind of laugh #but it seriously hurt in the moment and i just kind of finished up shopping and left #like the shirt in question was a 1x like . . . . . . girl #like i know i know that's their problem not mine but god #feels like shit man

[dirt-str1der]

I dont care about majima x sagawa btw but i care a lot about their relationship regardless because i want them to have the most toxic dealings and skewed power dynamics with each other as possible and i them both to have increasingly warped perceptions of each other (worlds most incorrect uncle-nephew relationship)

#Listen to my problems #sagawas like majima chan i bought pudding for you since chewing is hard right now and majimas like (muffled) can you kill yourself . and #sagawa is like (laughs) keep up that tone and ill break your jaw again #like obviously sagawa isnt doing charity work putting majima back on his feet because majima has to pull his own weight too but over time #majima became less of an ‘investment’ and more like his hotheaded young apprentice / nephew who is really smart (sagawas very proud of him) #but also doesnt know anything good for himself because hes an idiot and sagawa needs to do everything for him sometimes or he’ll pull the #most ASININE stunts imaginable. like kid i do Good by you and you do the same for me as long as you keep your head down and run the grand. #he cannot fathom why majima wants to claw his way back into the tojo because sagawa Knows shimano and he Knows that shimano is bad news and #will definitely send majima into the jaws of death over and over and seriously what a WASTE of good talent !!! unfortunately majima is the #same type of stupid as his oath brother but it doesnt mean he wants to see the kid get himself killed (wise words from a man who got himself #killed) | and majima ... it was not difficult to start going crazy about sagawa at first sight because he just came out of a very violent #place where every touch meant more torture and pain then suddenly hes being put in the capable hands of a man whos like a fucking angel #sagawa feeds clothes and bathes him and majima cant help but act like being cared for is the worst thing thats ever happened to him theres #too much touching and hes completely dependent on sagawa who checks his weight daily and changes his bandages and cleans his leaky infected #eye and he wants nothing more than to be left alone but he cant do anything by himself and hes too devastated to be grateful. its gross !! #and whenever he inevitably breaks the hell down sagawa is always there to hold and comfort him and what the hell else can he do but seek #comfort in the only person that ‘cares’ about him when sagawa is so good at pretending ... is he pretending ? who gives a fuck anymore man #sagawas punishment and comfort all in one ... hes a means to an end .. hes majimas caretaker and his gaoler. the guy who knows everything #about him and the one who’ll use every last bit of it against him oh god wait #this is just isabelle and emma damnit damnit im gonna go read purromised neverland again

[rackartyg]

lov it when you tell your therapist a story about your childhood and she goes ‘that’s, uh, that’s neglect’

cool!

#my parents hated how i was drawn to computers and video games #and when i was a little kid they would often tell me that i would end up nearsighted like them and need glasses (which was implied to be #the worst fate in the world) if i didn’t go outside and play more #they neglected to factor in that our neighbours were my bullies and i had no friends with which to play outside #anyway this instilled so much shame in me that when i started not being able to see at like age 9 i said nothing for an entire year #the next summer we visited a ren faire and there was this man who sold gorgeous handmade bows and i fell in love #i wanted one desperately but they cost 2k and that was literally all my money at the time #so we left so i could think about it which ended with me sitting in a gutter crying with stress about it. and i didn’t get one #but when we got home my dad took me to the local archery club and i got to try it #but since i’m right handed i need to aim with my right eye and it’s my right eye that’s the problem #so i literally couldn’t see the target. but i couldn’t tell my dad this because i was so ashamed #so i lied and said i didn’t want to keep doing it #eventually my parents did realise i couldn’t see ans brought me to the eye doctor #who uncovered that really it was my right eye that was nearsighted and my left had started going too from #the strain of compensating #and that i had a lazy eye because of #it too #he asked my dad how long i’d had the lazy eye and he said ‘about a year i think?’ #and the doctor said incredulous ‘and you’re only #bringing her in *now*?’ #my right eye was actually squeezed close during labour and didn’t open until #i was a week old. which is probably the reason it can’t see very well #what happened around age 9 was that my left gave out from compensating #anyway that’s the horrifying story of how i got glasses. tune in next time #for part 2 - asthma and part 3 - the blood clot #she speaks #bad brains blogging #familyposting

[trollbreak]

Btw um. I think dari needs someone to be not normal abt her ‘healing’ again :P like she’s very not secretive abt Not being a troll she doesn’t even try to hide and also. She very much does get ripped apart in an arena like weekly. I think it’d be silly if someone like. Took a piece and watched it struggle to get back home :3

#let her go through the dawning horror her peers did back home :3 #have to re-face the fact that she’s Missing something that she was woven around. and it’s left her frayed. something has been stolen. #divinity is such a vague word and she could never place exactly what was missing if she’d had hundreds more years to study before she got #her ass vwooped outta her reality #she’s not even normal for the people that look like her! not even normal to her kin!!! #delren is the one that grew up around whelm and had the kinship there and the recognition in what all these colors mean #dari grew up among gods. the child of someone relatively newly ascended. she was the first to get a title. she was supposed to fill a role. #to have a fate. and it was ripped from her like a healthy tooth and she ACHES for it back in a way she’ll never be able to achieve. even if #she did make it home. even if she did steal whatever was lost. it wouldn’t fit back into place like it once did. and she knows it #dari #man I didn’t mean to go on abt her but teehee guess it’s silly time (imagining her curled on the floor hands fisted in her hair as she grits #her teeth to choke back any sound she can as she cries) #I made her for to be rude and am giving her Problems abt it lol #(she woulda had the problems anyhow with the situation I’m just exploring em)

[chibelial]

Therapist just told me she doesn’t think therapy is a thing that’ll work for me

#personal #therapy sucks man #who am I typing to? #there’s a handful of you left and you seemingly never read these #fuck therapy #therapy sucks #anti therapy #this isn’t a joke #mental illness #depression #anxiety #ptsd #ptsd problems #anxiety problems #depression problems #mentally unstable #therapy makes me feel worse #emo post #sad post

[jeysuso]

I love how you're so fair to Jimmy even though he acts goofy sometimes

lmao listen that boy is stupid some of the time and he drives me insane with how oblivious he can be (especially when there's food up for grabs) but he's still my stupid boy and i love him 😭😭

#anon ask #💜 #ask #plus jimmy's been through his own shit w/ roman too #he's a victim too just in a different way #and everyone has different responses to being in abusive situations so i can't judge him too hard #mans is scared of losing his brother and being left to deal w/ roman alone. it's obvious #and the problem is it's making him act a little selfishly because i don't think he had a go at sami #to protect jey #i think he had a go at sami because he's scared jey will actually leave this time and choose sami over them. over Him. #jey was really close to doing it before so jimmy knows it's a possibility #what jimmy doesn't seem to understand is jey handed his soul back over to roman FOR him the dummy #jey LOVES him. and that's exactly why jimmy should be trying to help free them both. not keep them trapped

[llycaons]

literally so many reconciliation fics are like. wwx goes and loiters near LP like a sad yet hopeful puppy. jc shows up and goes 'you stupid fucking asshole, you were responsible for the deaths of my entire family and I hate you. you're disgusting also. don't you dare think about showing any physical affection towards your husband, who I also hate, in front of me because I will literally vomit. of course I don't hate gay people. how could you say that. how dare you come here. okay come in and have some food. you asshole. shut up. I will break your legs' and then he physically shoves him or something and wwx is happy about this? he's almost crying he's like like 'aw man you really do love me I belong here' happy family times are assumed to commence end fic. I can't do this anymore

#stop babying a 35 year old man PLEASE #im of the bold opinion that jc is responsible for his actions #and maybe if he wants to have a relationship with someone he's mistreated in the past he should maybe act better towards him #radical though ik.... #also the homophobia is constant and SO casual and glossed over. like actually I think pretending to vomit when his gay brother #holds hands with his husband is extremely rude and meant to make them ashamed and uncomfortable #maybe he should try to not do that since he apparently loves wwx SO MUCH #idek if he's a younger sibling that shit sucks and in a homophobic setting its really not funny #like 'oh he's just like that' well if he's just like that then wwx has zero reason to seek reconciliation with him #he can't be whining about being left all alone when he refuses to change his behavior and remains this shitty... #there is a difference between being prickly/abrasive and just hurling physical and verbal abuse around #and then demanding emotional labor from others in order to stop being sad and angry. like jc makes his emotions everyone else's problem #cql txp

[oscalesoffeeling]

x. he spun the stars on his fingernails (regular version)

self ship playlist for me n huffie composed of more contemporary music <3 i think this one is maybe the most representative of my s/i story tbh!!

lyrics under cut!!!

the ballad of mona lisa - panic! at the disco

- a lonely speaker in a conversation / her words are swimming through his ears again / there's nothing wrong with just a taste of what you've paid for

she had the world - panic! at the disco

~ she held the world upon a string / but she didn't ever hold me / spun the stars on her fingernails / but it never made her happy / 'cause she couldn't ever have me

remember my name - mitski

- 'cause i need somebody to remember my name / after all that i can do for them is done / i need someone to remember me

when you were young - the killers

- he doesn't look a thing like jesus / but he talks like a gentlemen / like you imagined when you were young

shadow - bearstronaut

- i'm the one you want in the palm of your hand / running down your back at every word's end / you can let me down, put me in my place / although you've had enough, there's still more i can take

i will - mitski

- i will wash your hair at night / and dry it off with care / i will see your body bare / and still i will live here

stay soft - mitski

- it's why i've arrived, your sex god / here to take you where / you need to go / to where the dark remembers you

genghis khan - miike snow

- i know there's no form / and no labels to put on / to this thing we keep / and dip into when we need

animal - neon trees

- here we go again / we're like sick animals, we play pretend / you're just a cannibal and i'm afraid i won't get out alive / no, i won't sleep tonight

casual affair - panic! at the disco

- break involuntary ties / a secret so the spies / could never find us out / stay for as long as you have time / so the mess that we'll become / leaves something to talk about

kiss from a rose - seal

- there used to be a graying tower alone on the sea / you became the light on the dark side of me

pure love - hayley williams

- if i want pure love / must stop acting so tough / (i give a little, you give a little) / (we get a little, sentimental)

far too young to die - panic! at the disco

- well i never really thought that you'd come tonight / while the crown hangs heavy on either side / give me one last kiss while we're far too young to die

resistance - muse

- will they find our hiding place / is this our last embrace / or will the walls start caving in?

fear the future - st. vincent

- when the war start anew / in our bed, in our room / i'll come for you, come for me too

starlight - muse

- far away / this ship is taking me far away / far away from the memories / of the people who care if i live or die

deus in absentia - ghost

- the world is on fire / and you are here to stay and burn with me / a funeral pyre / and we are here to revel forever more

parachute - sean ono lennon

- 'cause if i have to die tonight / i'd rather be with you / cut the parachute before the dive

skyfall - adele

- let the sky fall / when it crumbles / we will stand tall / face it all together

on my own - les misérables olc

- without him / i feel his arms around me / and when i lose my way i close my eyes / and he has found me

trade mistakes - panic! at the disco

- i feel marooned in this body / deserted, my organs can go on without me / you can't fly these wings / you can't sleep in this box with me

haunted by the kiss - talkfine, starkid

- my heart won't stop beating / hoping that this kiss / will never ever become a scar / you're in my soul / you're tormenting me / if you're suffering as much as i am / please, won’t you tell me

maps - yeah yeah yeahs

- made off / don't stray / well, my kind's your kind / i'll stay the same / pack up / don't stray

sweetest goodbye - maroon 5

- where you are seems to be / as far as an eternity / outstretched arms, open hearts / and if it never ends, then when do we start?

high - the cure

- and when i see you happy as a girl / that lives in a world of make-believe / it makes me pull my hair all out / to think i could've let you leave / and when i see you take the same sweet steps / you used to take, i know / i'll keep on holding you in my arms so tight / they'll never let you go (never let you go)

dig - incubus

- we all have a weakness / but some of ours are easy to identify / look me in the eye / and ask for forgiveness / we'll make a pact to never speak that word again / yes, you are my friend

two slow dancers - mitski

- it would be a hundred times easier / if we were young again / but as it is / and it is / we're just two slow dancers, last ones out

in our bedroom after the war - stars

- it's us, yes, we're back again / here to see you through 'til the day's end / and if the night comes and the night will come / well at least the war is over

#so anyway. i've posted this before without lyrics but i've updated it since then. #like i said this is probably the playlist that best describes my s/i story with him? definitely in certain parts. #because like the story goes that delruk was kinda forced by her parents to be wil.huff's assistant but he basically refused #to give them intel or connections when they asked bc at that point he didn't give a shit about them anymore and had gained wil.huff's trust #which he didn't really wanna lose. meanwhile delruk and wil.huff are trying to hold back their feelings for each other but end up starting #a tumultuous love affair. it all comes to a head during what would be the climax of anh when #delruk convinced huffie's stubborn ass to evacuate and then they both kinda realize that 'Oh. we're in love but still weirdly in denial of #how deeply and we also disagree on a bunch of kinda fundamental things and all the secrecy and differences are kinda putting a strain on #our relationship and maybe we have a lot of other unresolved problems In general. So. maybe we should take a break.' cut a year or so and #huffie left the empire and came crawling back to me ready to beg on his hands and knees for me to take him back but i just kinda flung #myself into his arms and kissed him and now we're married :^) #anyway. 'dig' is like our song. same with 'open arms.' it just perfectly describes our connection ya know. #i love that old man ❤ #ugh. anyway #ellie rambles about stuff #he spun the stars on his fingernails (tag) #ok to rb #:)

[two-calicos-in-a-trenchcoat]

All my friends in highschool were neurodivergent in one way or another

Not all of the ones I talked to outside of school were autistic but none were neurotypical

But in some classes I would have class specific friends. Like people I only really talked to when we had classes together. ALL of those people were autistic.

High school Riley did not know they were autistic

Nor did I ever seek these people out

But any time we had class together we would all just kinda group together. Like I was often the first to class on the first day and we if we were allowed to choose our own seats they would all just kinda group around me on the first day. If we had to get into groups for anything they would just kinda absorb me into their group without me having to say anything

And I have to wonder

Did they (correctly) assume i was autistic and decide to do all that on purpose

Or did they just all see me sitting as far away from other people as possible and decide they vibed with that

Either way I was always very appreciative towards them. They made the classes I assumed I would be alone in just a bit more bearable. And they never thought I was weird for not talking much at first and then oversharing once I got comfortable enough to talk to them.

#unfortunately several of them had paras and paras were always fuckin annoying #like if left alone i can calm down from a meltdown pretty quickly #but if people keep talking to me or touching me or even just staring at me it makes it so much harder to calm down #and drags it out way longer than it needs to #and my meltdowns tend to be pretty quiet #my parents have always been very good about just letting me do what i need to do to calm down #so as long as my parents were around my meltdowns were never a problem. they sucked. but the overwhelmed crying part would #end pretty quick #most teachers just ignored them which i was fine with #but PARAS MAN. they were the WORST. both at triggering meltdowns and at making them WORSE #like my dudes your job is literally working one on one with autistic kids why are you so bad at thks #and nothing would make them go away #i would straight up tell them to leave me alone and they would just continue to insist on ''helping'' me #like i am actively refusing your help and telling you its unnecessary WHATS NOT CLICKING #and they would always walk up behind me amd like. put their hands on my back and like WHY #i CLEARLY flinch every time you do that WHY do you continue to do it #like i think i wouldve benefitted from some sort of assistance in school (and in junior year i was failing so many classes that they gave #me a study hall in the classroom that had the therapy dog) but im so glad i didnt have a para assigned to me #i feel like i may have become violent if id had to deal with a para in more than one or two classes a semester #and like. obviously i wouldve had an iep for that to have happened but considering how they also treated the kids they were assigned to #im not really sure they wouldve treated me any different if one was assigned to me #i had random paras deciding i needed their help since 1st grade and every single one of them succeeded in triggering meltdowns #or seeing me meltdown and make it 100x worse #im not super confident in their abilities to have actually assisted me in any way

[shouldprobablybereading]

If you could live in any country on roshar which one would it be?

And why is it Azir?

#Taylenah is also pretty cool #and karbranth #alethkar would objectively suck to live in #if you’re a man you go to war and die #if you’re a woman you can’t use your left hand #yes those are equally big problems in life #or become an ardent and technically a slave…. #cosmere #stormlight archive #brandon sanderson #azir