#laughs awkwardly about what this says re: my psyche

[astriiformes]

Hold on my brain just put some pieces together.

Along with the fact that he's a powerful immortal being who's been extremely sheltered for a long time, another reason the Collector didn't understand death and was so certain he could just "fix" people if they got broken is because his main point of reference for mortality was spending time around Belos, who did an extremely twisted version of exactly that with all the grimwalkers.

#ROTATING THE THEMES AROUND IN MY HEAD #at the same time i'm getting whiplash over the 'hey guess what so much of the owl house was about grief this whole time' of it all #[turning all my favorite stories this past year over] are any of you NOT about grief?? #laughs awkwardly about what this says re: my psyche #anyways i think i have. a fic i need to write #toh spoilers #f: us weirdos have to stick together

[elias-code]

Two Left Hooves [1/7]

Choose your own adventure ~ "Intro"

Characters: Technoblade x gn!reader, Philza, Eret

Summary: This is a choose-your-own-adventure!! You met Techno through Phil, helping him get rid of his headache after hibernation. He was immediately infatuated with you. Techno invites you to go to Eret's banquet. When you arrive to prepare for the banquet, he tells you that he will only sleep in his room with you if you wanted, now you get to choose if you want to sleep with him or not…

Warnings: Cussing

--- Phil ---

“Hey, Techno,” I peeked my head around the corner, holding the letter behind my back away from his line of sight.

“Hullo,” He turned to me, hands still in his hair, pin sticking out of his mouth. He was braiding his pink hair, unaware that his worst nightmare was about to come true. “So, mate,” I walked in, hands still behind my back, “I got some mail.”

“Mhm,”

“You remember the egg?”

“Yeah, what about it?” He turned back to the mirror, inspecting the last loop he’d made.

“Eret is hosting another banquet,”

“Huh?”

“Yeah, you’re invited,” his face in the mirror went pale, “since you’re the one who yeeted it.”

Techno paused, unmoving. Slowly, he tied the ribbon at the bottom of the braid, securing it with the pin. He made eye contact with me, his eyes were begging me to yell psych! and run out the door. Instead, I held the opened letter, once hidden behind me, up in the air, presenting it to him.

“Phil…”

“Yeah?” I laughed, this was the most scared I’ve ever seen him.

“You’re joking, right?”

“Nope, look.” I shook it at him, flipping it over to show Eret’s handwriting: To Technoblade and Philza Minecraft.

He shuddered slightly, finally turning to me and taking the letter from my hands. It read:

Technoblade and Philza,

This may seem strange and menacing, but I promise it’s not. Ever since the red banquet disaster, I’ve been thinking about how much I think the people of this server need a pick-me-up. We needed a re-do.

So, I’ve decided to host a banquet, this time out in the open with no bullshit. There’ll be drinks, games, and dancing, and I want you to be there. Since you had a lot to do with the egg’s eventual downfall, I personally think you need to be there, Technoblade.

I’ll tell you what I’ve told everyone else. There’s a plus-one requirement for safety reasons (buddy system), and so I’ve addressed this to both of you. I look forward to your attendance! I suggest wearing something else since I don’t want anyone having flashbacks when they see your royal gown.

On the back of the card, Eret wrote the coordinates and information about the dress code. The card had gold decorations on the edges, curling and twisting like vines, dotted with golden roses complete with thorns. The dress code specified that the suggested colours were black, white, blue, and gold, hence the bordering roses.

“Do you own anything you think you could wear?” I asked as he handed the card back to me.

“I still have the Arctic coat, but if this is anywhere near L’Manburg, it’s gonna be too hot for that.”

“Right, I might have to make something for you then,”

“Alright,” He hesitated, “Do I have to go? That’s a lot of enemies in one place…”

“Yeah, sorry mate, you have to go.” I put the card back into the envelope, closing and pocketing it. “Oh, wait, one thing Techno,”

“There’s more?”

“Um, I can’t go.”

“What?” “I can’t go to the banquet,” I was lying, but he didn’t need to know that, “I’m supposed to be at the ocean monument that day.”

“And your fishing can’t wait?” He raised an eyebrow at me and I shrugged. “Who am I supposed to bring?”

“I dunno, mate,” I shrugged and clicked my heel against the floor, “Maybe you can bring that bird I introduced you to… if you can find them.”

— Techno —

“Phil, who’s this?” I had walked into the kitchen, half-dressed. I was not expecting to see someone else sitting at the table. They looked at me, smiling and waving.

“Oh hello sleepyhead,” Phil remarked, stirring the rabbit stew that hung over the fireplace, “I dunno, they don’t seem to have a name.”

“Hello!” I looked back at them. They were dressed in forest green pants, tucked into black boots lined by silver buttons with fancy engravings, laced in leather strips, looped and tied at the top of the boot. Their top was one of mine, an old long-sleeved white cotton top Phil had probably found in the back of the closet. They had a golden-yellow scarf slung over their shoulders. I waved awkwardly, still half asleep.

“You don’t have a name?” I asked, still confused.

“Uh, I guess not. Phil’s the only person I’ve seen in a while.” They said, pointing at him. He was closing the white under-curtains, almost like he was avoiding the interaction.

“Then what do I call you?”

“Phil’s been calling me the bird.”

“Bird, huh?”

“He says it's because I’m migrating.”

That was strange enough as it was, and I decided to leave it there. Talking was making my headache worse, so I walked over to the stew, immediately recognizing the smell of carrots, potatoes, and chicken over the rabbit smell. My stomach grumbled, attempting to convince me to shove my face into the pot and gorge myself, but I pulled back.

“Is it ready yet, Phi?” I asked.

“No, it still has a couple of minutes, don’t go touching it yet. We should all eat together.”

I could wait a bit longer, I supposed. The smell was enticing, but my attention still lingered on the “bird” sitting at the table, reading a book. I sat down at the table and thumped my head onto it, only to make my headache worse.

“Ughhhh,” I groaned.

“You ok?” The bird asked.

“Headache,”

“Ah, I have something for that!” They picked up a bag from the floor and rummaged around in it for a bit before pulling out a small vial of green liquid. They uncorked it and an overwhelming spinach smell washed over me. “It might smell odd, but it works wonders.”

I lifted my head off the table and took the vial from them, inspecting it.

“Is this thing safe to drink?” I furrowed my eyebrows at them, looking for dishonesty.

They snatched it from me and took a swig, swiftly handing it back to me. “Take that as a yes.” They said.

— The Bird —

I knocked on the door, shivering slightly in the cold. I wore three layers, an undershirt, a turtleneck, and a thick coat. I got a letter a couple of days ago from Technoblade, asking me to go to the banquet with him and inviting me to stay at his cabin before the banquet. I accepted and sent the letter the same day since I knew the mail was slow. Just one day later, I hopped on my horse and made my way to the far arctic.

Techno opened the door and ushered me inside, shutting the door behind me.

“Jesus, you’re shivering,” he said, grabbing his cape off its stand and wrapping me with it. Thankfully, my face was already red enough from the cold that he didn’t notice me blush.

“Is your horse outside?”

“Yeah, I tied her up to the post,” I pulled the enormous cloak tighter to me, “but I don’t think she should stay there for long, it's too cold.”

“Alright, I’ll be right back.” He said, turning from me and walking out the door. The sudden freezing breeze pushed me into the living room, near the fire. I sat down in an armchair and Steve wandered over to say hello.

“Hey, Steve…” I offered my hand to him and he sniffed it, grunting in my face with his fishy breath, “You do not smell good, big boy…”

He huffed like he understood what I said and I chuckled. He sat at my feet as I scratched his head. “At least you’re soft, Steve.” You smiled, “Good boy…”

The door opened and slammed again, Techno walked over dusting his hands off and Steve lumbered over to greet him.

“Hello Steve, you’ve inspected them, yeah?” He baby talked at him. The polar bear was big, almost as tall as Techno standing on all fours. It was strange to see such a big man 'baby talk' an apex predator, so you laughed a bit to yourself.

“What?” He asked, patting Steve on the head.

“Nothing, you’re just being cute.”

He smiled and sat himself down on the couch, crossing his legs and looking at you.

“If I’d left you out there any longer, you would have gotten frostbite,”

You realized you were still shivering in his cloak, “Yeah, thanks for not letting me die out there, and for the cape,”

“If I’d let you die, I wouldn’t have a date for the banquet.”

“Ooh, I’m a date now, am I?” I teased.

He blushed and looked away, still smiling.

“I suppose so,” he whispered.

He stood and offered a hand to me. I took it and stood, following him upstairs to his room, the only bedroom in the house. The room had recently been tidied, the paintings on the wall included snowy landscapes and one of a wither. The curtains were open, the night sky illuminating the room. The moonlight made everything a pale blue, almost making Techno’s hair purple.

“I don’t have anywhere else for you to stay right now unless you want to sleep on the couch.”

“Are you also sleeping here?”

“Only if you’re ok with it,” He said, kneeling by the fireplace and setting logs on the grate.

Would he really? He seems so shy…

— Technoblade —

I could feel my blood rush to my face as they asked if I’d sleep with them. I turned to the fireplace and lit the fire, trying to hide my embarrassment.

“Only if you’re ok with it,” I said.

They paused and my heartbeat harder, unsure what they were going to say. I started preparing the fire, putting the hesitation out of my mind.

////////UNDER CONSTRUCTION BRRRRRRRRR (2/3 complete)///////

Do you allow him to sleep with you?

Yes, tell him you’re going to be cold and need the body heat. (NSFW)

Ask where he wants to sleep. (Fluff)

No, respectfully suggest he sleep on the couch. (SFW)

#technoblade x reader #techno x reader #c!techno x reader #c!technoblade x reader #technoblade #mcyt x reader #mcyt #dsmp #dsmp x reader #philza #eret #two left hooves #Elias original

[emilyshotchniss]

Starting Fresh

Summary: After your best friend Elle leaves the BAU, you’re devastated - and a replacement agent is just adding salt to the wound. Or is it?

Pairing: Emily Prentiss x Fem! BAU reader

Warnings: a little angst? fluff, non-graphic implied smut, nothing major:)

Word Count: 1677

Oh you have got to be kidding me...

You looked up from your desk to find a slender brunette woman standing in Hotch's office. She was carrying a large box, presumably filled with her things, and that could only mean one thing: she was likely Elle's replacement. You rolled your eyes as JJ called you all into the roundtable room, interrupting Hotch's conversation with said brunette, leaving her standing doe-eyed in the doorway, clutching her box. You followed JJ to meet the others, huffing as you went.

"Her body isn't even cold yet! She's been gone less than a week!" You exclaimed to the others.

"Y/N, calm down. We don't even know who she is," Derek said, trying to reassure you. Hotch entered the room with Gideon, looking both annoyed and confused.

"Who was that in your office?" You asked, trying to act cool.

"Nobody. JJ, lets present," He said, abruptly changing the subject.

********************

You made your way across the jet and sat opposite Hotch. He glanced up at you, waiting for you to speak. You squirmed awkwardly, before blurting out your question.

"I just need to know one thing... Is she replacing Elle?" You asked.

"Y/N, not now. I know how close you were with Elle, but this is a private matter." He stated.

"Fine," You sighed, and made your way over to Gideon, at the other end of the jet.

"Hey Gideon, can I ask you something?"

"Fire away kiddo," He replied.

"That woman... You know, the one from Hotch's office this morning? Is she replacing Elle?" You asked, desperate for some more information.

"Look," He began. "I don't know who she is, or why she's here, but she has all the right paperwork saying she's supposed to be here. Hotch is waiting to hear back from Strauss about her." He told you, keeping his voice low so Hotch wouldn't hear. You knew he'd be honest with you, he was almost like a father figure to you, ever since he took you under his wing when you first joined the team. He knew that Elle was your best friend, and how much her leaving affected you - and thought it only fair you knew all the information regarding her vacant position.

"Thank you, Gideon," You said, sincerely.

"Anytime kiddo," He replied, before returning to his book.

*************************

You returned from St Louis, laughing with the team as you entered the bullpen. You noticed the light in Hotch's office was on, and upon closer investigation you saw the same brunette sitting on Hotch's couch, waiting. You knew then she'd be sticking around.

"Alright guys, I'm heading out," You declared, masking your true emotions, dodging everyones' glances.

You walked swiftly to your car, and got in quickly. Everything then hit you at once - Elle was gone - and she was never coming back. Your best friend, was gone for good. You wiped your tears, and drove home, preparing yourself for the difficult day ahead of you.

***************************

Walking into the bullpen the next morning, you saw the brunette arranging some of her things opposite your desk - what was Elle's desk, was now her desk. You sighed, rolling your eyes, psyching yourself up, when Garcia body-blocked you.

"Stop." She stated.

"Ugh- Penelope," You said, attempting to get past, and failing miserably.

"Before you go any further, fix your face. I know she's not Elle and I know you miss her, but she's only trying to do her job. She's actually very lovely," She replied, smiling and booping your nose as she moved aside.

"Okay Garcia, I'll give her a shot," I said, walking up to my desk, when I heard my name.

"Y/N? Agent Y/N Y/L/N?" The voice said. "Hi, I'm Agent Emily Prentiss," She said, extending her hand for you to shake. You hadn't noticed over the last few days, but she had gorgeous brown eyes, you could almost get lost in them.

"Y- Yes, hi," You replied, shaking her hand, before sitting down. "You nervous?" I joked.

"Uh- yeah, actually, a little. I hear I have big shoes to fill," She said, with a sympathetic look in her eyes.

"That you do," You replied, trying to be nice, "But don't worry, I have a feeling you'll fit right in," You finished, no longer faking the niceness, finding it easier to speak to her as the conversation went on. But god, those eyes...

***********************

"The cell members bailed out through a tunnel, the DEA recovered a nextel two-way and managed to intercept a message," JJ began, handing each of us a piece of paper, when she stopped Emily.

"That's not the transcript, it's-" She began, but Emily stopped her.

"No, it's in Arabic," She stated.

"Uh, our friends surprised us and eloped, we can no longer wait for the wedding as planned, we can deliver our gift at the next crescent." She said, oblivious to everyone's stares and gaping jaws. She looked up, as embarrassment flushed over her cheeks. I was in awe.

"I lived in several middle eastern countries growing up," She mumbled. This woman really was full of surprises, wasn't she? You didn't know what you were feeling, but as soon as you met those dark brown eyes you knew there was something different about her. I placed my hand on her thigh, reassuring her. She smiled gently in return, placing her hand delicately on top of yours, squeezing it gently. You were secretly praying that she would be your new field partner, but knowing Hotch and his trust issues, she probably wouldn't even fly with us.

You all returned to your desks, as Hotch and Gideon stood in his office doorway, quite obviously discussing Emily.

"Jason, this is an interrogation, not a training exercise." Hotch said sternly.

"She's the only member fluent in Arabic," Gideon countered.

"There's other translators," Hotch replied. You and Emily both glanced up from your desks.

"They haven't studied behavior," Gideon rebutted again.

"Does she even have her ready bag yet?" Hotch asked. At this, I noticed Emily duck beneath her desk, fumbling about.

"My guess is there isn't much that woman's unprepared for," Gideon said. Just as the words left Gideons' mouth, Emily re-emerged from below her desk, sliding her packed ready bag onto the table, standing awkwardly next to it. You couldn't help but giggle at her, which caught her attention.

"What," She grinned.

"Nothing, it- it's just your cute, that's all," You smiled back, causing her to blush. You had no idea where your boldness was coming from, but you weren't lying - she was cute...

"Prentiss, Y/L/N, you're flying with Gideon to Guantanamo, car leaves in 4 minutes." Hotch stated.

"Yes sir," You both replied, Emily struggling to hide her wide smile. She had the most amazing smile...

********************************

The team returned back from GTMO, after an exhausting few days. Thankfully, you were able to prevent the terrorist attack that Al Ikhteraa had planned, and everyone was headed to O'Keefe's for drinks. Hotch went straight home to Haley and Jack, and Gideon decided to skip. You were headed to your cars, when Emily stopped you right before you unlocked your door.

"Hey, Y/N wait up," She said, running over to you. You immediately felt your palms begin to sweat and your heart rate increase. You never expected to - but you liked her. A lot.

"Hey, I just wanted to say thank you," She began.

"Thank you? For what?" You said, letting out a confused giggle. She smiled back, sending the butterflies in your stomach crazy..

"Oh, just helping me settle in the last few days,and being the most awesome field partner I could've asked for, having my back and all," She continued. "I know it couldn't have been easy, you know, they told me you were close with Agent Greenaway," She said. Oh my god - you'd gone the whole week without thinking about Elle once. Were you finally moving past her?

"Uh- Uh yeah, yeah, she was my best friend." I replied, looking at the ground.

"I'm sorry, that must've been difficult," She said, grabbing your arm, the physical contact sending chills down your spine. Screw it. You had had a great week despite your first ideas, and you were feeling bold.

"I wanted to hate you so badly," You began, catching her off guard. "I wanted to hate you, because you were replacing Elle, because I knew that you joining the team would make me have to accept that my best friend was gone, and never coming back." She tightened her grip on your arm, softly stroking it with her thumb.

"But as soon as we first spoke, I knew there was something about you that I couldn't quite put my finger on. And as the week went on, I only became more sure." You continued, smiling at her, making her blush.

"Sure of what?" She questioned, nervously giggling.

"Sure that I wanted to do this..." You hummed, before grabbing her waist and pulling her close to you, then gently placing your lips on hers. You panicked when you didn't feel her kiss back initially, but were reassured when you felt her tongue brush over your bottom lip. You started slow, but things progressed fairly quickly and she took control, pushing you flush against your car. She let out a few faint groans of pleasure, before you pulled away for air, grinning from ear to ear, feeling like you were going to burst with happiness.

"You still wanna get drinks?" She whispered.

"I have other plans in mind, if you'd like to join me," You winked, before unlocking your car.

"I'd love to," She replied, jumping in the passenger side. The whole car journey home was filled with stolen glances and wandering hands, and when you finally arrived at your apartment, you could barely contain yourselves. Lips met, clothes were ripped from each other, and you spent the night exploring every inch of each other. You both knew then that this was the beginning of a beautiful adventure...

#emily prentiss x reader #emilyprentiss #emily prentiss fluff #criminal minds #emily prentiss smut #emily prentiss x female reader #bau team #wlw

[unproduciblesmackdown]

which bmc scenes make you the softest bc for me it's gotta be most of the stagedorks scenes ESPECIALLY a guy that i'd kinda be into. mostly bc of christine cause her and michael are my favs (i love them all sm though) but also bc of jeremy because he is a close second to both of them. also vimh but vimh makes me cry a lot although nowadays i can hardly watch one scene without at the very least tearing up. anyways yeah which ones make you soft

i simply rewatched bmc and took notes for this and really got off track at points in the sense of sticking to What Makes You Softest but that’s how it goes babey

ACT ONE - in mts when jeremy is just having a whole moment being smitten in christine's presence while she's inelegantly picking herself up off the floor and smearing on lip balm and adjusting a skirt wedgie - jeremy and michael just being default that glad to meet each other in the middle of a random schoolday - michael hyping up jeremy's crush on christine and just encouraging this momentum to get jeremy to sign up for the play - ilpr.....that christine stops after like, the first two verses and goes back to her book b/c she doesn't figure someone's looking to listen to her beyond that but then she sees jeremy's still 110% paying attention and the whole rest of the song enfolds with increasing enthusiasm - jake doing that whole bit "all the pressure i feel to be the best at everything all the time" lmao classic stuff here, depressing content delivered in this humorousse way. charming moment - "leave me alone, i've had a bad day" - 2pg......when michael taps jeremy on the shoulder to get jeremy to join in on his choreo, which jeremy then does.....that michael asks if jeremy will be too cool for Video Games and jeremy just responds Emotionally Directly......we love the Favorite Person moment......that this song just ends with the two of them grooving 2gether god bless - jeremy stammering and Tics and Fidgeting when the squip remarks uponst it - jeremy delivering the Looking Pretty Sexy Brooke as awkwardly as possible and she's just like "thanks :)" - jeremy's own Theatricality coming out......hey hamlet - jeremy spinning around in place alternately addressing both brooke and the squip with "oh i'm supposed to meet my friend michael" - nice little detail wherein brooke signals for chloe to join in on her choreo - speaking of, v fond of the Moment jeremy is in on both their choreo......brooke sort of alarming jeremy with her whole attempted grande finale, straw and all, ft. the first instance of her messing with his hair so much she's just tugging his entire head around - cute that jake and rich have a sort of 2pg-esque handshake routine too - jeremy's "that's sad, what should i do" reaction re: jenna - rich's Earnest invitation to come over and play xbox... - "bonjour, jeremy" "ooh brooke!" and this whole exchange, her complimenting him, him laughing at "That Was French" and remembering to ask about pinkberry - love the whole choreo sequence/s in sync up, especially fond of his Moments with the girls, bumping hips with chloe (twice), hearing some Gossip from jenna, posing with brooke.... ;__; - the bowling alley performance art exchange before agtikbi ;____; - agtikbi......the glittery hearts choreo.....the whatever! the interlude or whatever!!! the I Guess A Part Of Me section hhhhoughhh ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; ;o; that she pulls him into a hug and puts her head against his shoulder omggg ;_________; - brooke just trying to interact with jeremy the Right Way w/o any guidance on the bleachers and it continues to be awkward and funny....like comforting just his Leg while he converses w/his squip.....how she just ends up Physically pushing him around by the hands and head and shoulder and etc......whole situation here in upgrade.mp3 clearly less than Ideal but jeremy and brooke are nevertheless very cute individually And together - meanwhile jake also trying to genuinely Be With christine in upgrade is also charming lol, quitting archery to hang w/a girl like her.... - i always love when the Playful Shove brooke gives jeremy at "but at the mall, you looked at me" pushes him back a whole few steps....this moment of them truly Getting each other sans anyone else's interference.....tres magnifique - jeremy being That psyched to see michael for the first time (in like, less than one full day lol)....michael being That psyched just hearing that jeremy's cool scifi thing worked out after all - lgw ;_________________________; - like i'm some normal, handsome guy..... - giving us All that silence after "The Problem Has Always Been Me" - the whole bit where he launches into the "I'm Not The [series of insults]" and i've realized it's really especially a stretch to say i'm Soft for these moments in lgw but i Am vulnerable and that's its power. little 1" tall will roland on my screen here just made me shed a real tear doing That.....

ACT TWO - brooke's Howl at the end of her verse lmawooo - oughhh jeremy and brooke Greeting each other at the party too, jeremy unable to disappoint her and going for the Real Compliment, just v charming. rip - jake and jeremy's danceoff lol hell yes and then jake just having Misunderstood the costume plan between him and christine lol - the squip getting in on the dancing :) go you funky little ai - jeremy and brooke singing that last verse of Halloween v enthusiastically at each other, - again that jeremy is just genuinely glad to see michael.... - the inherent intimacy of singing mitb b/c your bff dumped you..... - AGTIKBI REPRISE..... ;______________________________; hhhhuouuuoh my god :'3 the lil detail that at the Height of things christine is Shy and turns away.....just. This Scene oh my god - soft in a vulnerable way like, rip to jenna where we're seeing chloe's Lack Of Enthusiasm in accepting a call from her :[ - the Shift at the start of the pants song :] - and the lil mitb reprise during said pants song lmao, also always having a great time w/this concept of "maybe this teen having a rough time needs some guidance from someone grown w/all that bonus maturity here" - i wish there was a way i could help everyone but i don't know how so i guess i'll just do theatre..... - jenna being Moved simply being asked for the first time ever How She Is u_u then her being like "....Okay!" lmfao jenna's great - just have to say in whatever context i'm v fond of pitiful children there at the end lmfao the bass kicks in like that and we're having a great time - the audience always having that response to "all the way to broadway" - jeremy going "you came to see me in the play? :)" like, that he's processing the significance of that in the middle of these Very Raised Stakes - i'm soft for will roland's vocal glitching mouth noises live every night!!! - jeremy like "ha! >:)" flipping his squip off after he's successfully Apologized lmfaoooo love him - but then having that real And I'm Stronger Than You Think I Am victory like :'| - that michael's been by like a ton btw during jeremy's probably somewhat concerning coma. also cherish the lil dance he does while they're celebrating mr. heere's bepantsedness - jake and jeremy sharing a Dab - and just the Popular Kids actively seeking him out to help re: christine b/c they just Want To Be Supportive.....very nice - this vimh interlude or whatever with christine and jeremy like jlsdfhh i think of this all the time - me and the voices in my head have made up our collective mind ;__; what do they say we should do ;______; and the Woohoo! ;_______________; - huoughh kiss and you KNOW especially the [jeremy spinning away in sheer enthusiasm] of 2.0 just KILLS THE MAN ;O; - jeremy not missing a beat despite the squip's interruption leeet's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO - the more than survive na na na na na na na na na na na's but they're all So, and jeremy ending With everyone but also there with Himself and it's so Good and Everything Wants What Vimh Has!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! hhrough ;0; - that jason does that spin at curtain call w/his excellent squip costume... - that in virtually any given curtain call when they get into line together there's that lil ritual of george smacking will's ass lmao love languages

i mean tl;dr quite Same in that like, most likely to inspire tearing up over something or other includes agtikbi reprise and vimh which is just like, again any finale wants what it has, and the I Guess A Part Of Me bit of the non-reprise agtikbi like Oof augh this is so cute, and lgw always Gets me, and while i was rewatching speaking of being soft and move-able i was also just continually struck with delight over various moments throughout, and noticing little details for the first time thank god. just Vulnerable the whole time

#anonymous #Great Ask thank you for sending it #bmc

[fairiesnova]

Girls Like Girls

Re-uploading my old works #1. This was actually the first fairy tail fanfic I wrote. This is in a different style than the way I write now but I still do like this. 

Erza leaned back against the guild wall with a smirk. Years ago, the scene in front of her would have drawn up feelings of frustration and jealously, but now, it only filled her with amusement. It was an occurring one after all. It starts out simple enough. A guy would come to the guild looking for “magic advice” or to offer them a job only to miraculously run into the one and only Mirajane Strauss. They would fluster and stutter through asking for her autograph, which Magnolia’s sweetheart would never refuse, and wait at the bar until she finished whatever task she was doing. They would use that time to refocus and psych themselves up so by the time Mira returned to them, they were completely over confident and cocky. She’d sign their magazine (never questioning why they brought the magazine with them if they were only there for official purposes) while they flirted with her endlessly. Mira would play the role of a humble supermodel and act like she doesn't notice the way they tried to sling an arm around her waist or smell her hair. The boys would get more flustered and desperate as time went on leading them to make some more…direct remarks. The most common ones were about Mira’s appearance and how lucky her boyfriend must be to be able to spend the night with her. Mira would laugh and hand them their signed item. The guy would try to touch her hand, Mira wouldn’t let them. She’d wish them a good day causing the man to panic and blurt out questions

They’d ask if she had a boyfriend.

She’d say no.

They’d ask her on a date.

Mira would smile sweetly and shake her head while responding,

“Sorry, I don’t date fans. It’s against company policies.” Erza heard Mira tell the boy holding onto her arm. His face fell as he raced to try and change her mind.

“But, I’m not just any fan. I’m your biggest fan! I loved you forever Mirajane!”

‘They all say that’ Erza thought to herself. Mira gently removed his hand off her arm.

“Sorry but rules are rules. If you’re still looking for Master, I’d be happy to go get him for you.”

“No that’s okay…” the boy muttered lowly. “Are you sure I can’t say anything to convince you otherwise? I’m a really nice guy, I swear. I’m not a creep like some of your other fanboys must be. If you went on a date with me, you’d see that.”

Erza let a chuckle slip from her lips as she pushed herself off the wall and walked towards the bar. The guy turned to look at her, but Mira kept her gaze locked on him. “I’m really sorry. Is there anything else I could help you with?”

The boy’s shoulders dropped. “No, thanks for the autograph.” He made his way to the door before suddenly stopping.

“Wait Mirajane!” He yelled before racing back to the bar.

Erza heard Mira’s sigh before she could fully repress it. “Yes?”

The boy slammed a flyer onto the table. “Are you going to this festival?!”

Erza sat at a barstool and glanced at the familiar paper. It was a flyer for the lights festival happening in 2 weeks. “Did you take that off the guild wall?” She purposely let her voice come out a bit deeper. Gray and Natsu always said she sounded more menacing when she lowered her voice.

“Um…yes…sorry” He muttered lowering his gaze.

Mira gave her a warning glare before focusing back on the boy. “Why yes I am. Why do you ask?”

He perked up. “Well because I’m going there too! And if we’re both going there alone, then why not go together!”

Mira gave the kid another one of her rejection softening smiles before turning around and fixing a drink. “Thanks for the offer, but I’m not going alone. I already have a date.”

The boy went from perky to depressed by the time she finished her sentence. “So, you do have a boyfriend then.”

“I have a date” she corrected. “And my date doesn’t like crowds, so we’ll mostly be in the secluded parts of the festival. I doubt we would run into you.”

He frowned and Erza could tell . “You know Mirajane, it almost sounds like this guy is trying to hide you and keep you all to himself. Going to the quiet parts of the festival is probably his way of keeping you away from your adoring fans and loving public. You shouldn’t go out with someone like that. If you were my girl I’d show you off to everybody. Everyone would know that we were together while this guy wouldn’t let you tell Sorcerer’s Weekly that you are dating.”

The usually noisy guild fell silent and all eyes turned towards the bar. Some looked worried (mainly Lucy and Lisanna) while most looked on eager and expectantly. Erza couldn’t help but let a few chuckles escaped her lips. Most people would find her amusement with these types of situations strange, but Erza couldn’t help herself. Watching the now sweet Mirajane turn into the she devil Erza knew as a child always made her day. The boy looked around awkwardly before shouting at Erza.

“Hey! What’s so funny? I’m completely serious! This guy is taking advantage of Mirajane and you guys are being terrible guildmates by letting him-”

“Stop.” Mira ordered. She crossed her arms and glared at the boy. Even though she was shorter than him, that glare was enough to make her seem like the largest person in the room. “Just stop. You are really confused on some matters. First off, it was my decision to avoid people whenever we go out because I don’t want anything to interrupt my time with my girlfriend-”

“Girlfriend?!” He shouted surprise.

“Hey, it’s my turn to talk now. Wait until I’m finished then you may proceed.” The growl in her voice quickly quieted any future outbursts.

“She’s using the mom voice on him” Cana muttered next to her. It was true. Gone was ‘Magnolia’s sweetheart’ Mirajane and out came the she devil. Erza loved it. Her girlfriend was beautiful when she lost control. Erza just hoped she didn’t go into her satan soul this time.

“Now as I was saying, it was also my decision for Sorcerer’s Weekly to keep my relationship out of the papers because I don’t want people like you to harass us on every detail of our relationship. What goes onto between me and her is between us. No one else. I don’t need relationship advice from you. Don’t pretend to know anything about her. Our relationship already has everything it needs. You and I will never happen because I don’t like boys.” Mira took a few steps back before giving another false smile. “Now feel free to leave my guild hall before the other side of me takes over. You asked about my transformations before, right? I’d love to show you one.”

The guy nodded before quickly running out of the front door. Mira sighed before collapsing into the nearest bar stool. “Something funny dear?” She muttered sarcastically.

“Why yes dear,” Erza fired right back “I just watched my girlfriend get hit on for an hour until the guy finally realized she was gay.”

“It’s not funny Erza!”

“It’s hilarious! That’s the third guy to come in here today. I can only imagine how many more will pop in before the festival starts.” Mira groaned. “And for someone who doesn’t want them to know that we’re dating, you sure do call me your girlfriend a lot.”

“I don’t think he would have gotten the hint if I didn’t. Maybe next time I should try kissing you in front of the next person to ask me out. That should get the point across.”

Erza smirked at the idea. “You’re cold Mirajane. Most people would start crying if they knew their supermodel girlfriend was taken and swung the other way.”

“I’m nobody’s girlfriend expect yours Erza” she whispered before leaning over and kissing her. “And maybe it’s time for the rest of the world to know that.”

#erzajane #erza x mirajane #erza scarlet #mirajane strauss #femslash fairies #ftlgbtales #ftlgbtfics #my writing #my post

[vindogy]

happy prompt: everybody lived, they' re all roommates, it's several years in, everybody's generally worked out their interpersonal issues ( alex included ) , and they all go together to a rowdy screening of a classic bad movie

Everyone is here!!!

Also the obvious choice for the bad movie is The Room but I feel like that’s been beaten to death by now so I’ll do a more niche one

“We could be doing a million other things with our time that are more productive than this.”

Tim stood in an authoritative pose, resting his hands on his hips as he gave the three behind him a disapproving look. Brian instantly grew a wide grin, letting Tim know preemptively that a cheesy quip was coming his way.

“Well Timmy, if you’re up for filing taxes or doing calculus problems, be my guest!”

Jay smiled as well, much to Tim’s disapproval. The group was at a local cinema, getting ready to watch a movie for the first time in years. Though Tim was happy to finally do normal friend group things, he wasn’t content with the movie choice everyone had agreed on. He turned around and stared the person in the booth with absolute contempt. The ticket salesperson awkwardly looked away, hoping that Tim would just get the tickets and leave already. Unfortunately, Tim wasn’t quite ready to let this slide. 

“What is everyone else doing?”

Alex piped up, his voice still somewhat lacking the warmth it had all those years ago, but still friendly enough to show Tim that he was truly back to normal. 

“Well, Amy’s studying for her finals, Jessica’s doing some shopping down at the strip mall, Seth’s at therapy, and Sarah is… doing Sarah things.”

Tim sighed, slowly realizing that he had no choice but to go through with this movie. 

“Sorry Tim, but everyone is go- busy. Everyone is busy.”

Alex blanked out for a second, a look of worry spreading across his face.

“Everyone is busy. That’s what I meant to say. Everyone is busy.”

Alex shuddered as his spaced out expression turned into one of extreme worry. Luckily, Jay had sensed that Alex was beginning to panic.

“It’s alright Alex. Don’t worry, we’re all okay now. C’mon, let’s get some popcorn.” 

Jay guided Alex to the concession stand, rubbing his back and reassuring him all the way there. Tim was concerned. He knew it wouldn’t be easy going back to normal after what they’ve all been through, but it still pained him to see reminders of it everywhere he went. He was sure everyone else felt the same. That fateful day was as clear as ever to him. He was so sure that everyone had died, and that all that was left to do was killing Alex. 

The final confrontation was horrifying to say the least, and it was immortalized forever by the camera that recorded it all. Right when Alex had him in a choke hold and Tim felt that all hope was lost, a sudden intruder came in and took Alex by surprise. Standing tall, blood dripping from his scalp, and a bloody grin across his face, was Brian. Somehow, he had survived the fall and managed to escape The Operator’s dimension while it was distracted in the fight. Standing behind him was Jessica, who had Jay cradled in her arms. He was pale and unconscious, but still breathing. With Brian’s help, Tim managed to incapacitate Alex and tie him up. The group went to the hospital immediately after, all admitted into emergency care. Alex was still violent and lashing out, and had to be admitted into a psych ward. But to Tim’s absolute shock, the friends he was so sure were gone had all survived. Brian and Jay were hospitalized for their injuries, while Jessica, Tim, and Alex were all admitted to therapy. Brian, however, kept telling the doctors that “there are still more survivors”. By some miracle, Brian had found everyone trapped within The Operator’s dimension, and had pulled out every single one. Seth, Amy, and Sarah were all found alive with severe injuries, but alive nonetheless. Everyone was nursed back to health and admitted to therapy, with Tim recommending that they all take the same medication he did. It was an absolute miracle. After that, The Operator never bothered them again, presumably because it had lost all of it’s victims that it spent so long trying to get. Tim never knew what happened after that. Maybe it was off harassing some poor dudes in New Jersey, or maybe it died. He hoped for the latter. 

It took one month for Alex to recover. The nurses stated that one day during a violent episode, he dropped to the floor and began crying heavily. He asked if his friends were alive, begging to see them. When he was eventually let out, he gathered everyone and spent an entire day begging for forgiveness and apologizing for what he had done. He especially apologized to Tim for all the torment he was put through. Tim remembered hugging Alex as he cried into his chest, tearing up as well. Not tears of sorrow, though. Tears of relief. From then on, everyone had decided to stay close and live life as best they could. Their relationships were unbreakable because it was forged in hell. 

“Hey, Tim-Tam! Wake up!”

Tim looked up, grunting as he was broken from his daydreaming. Brian grabbed his shoulders and shook him around, causing Tim to fully snap out of it, much to his annoyance. He grabbed Brian’s arms firmly and raised them above his head. 

“I’m awake. And I told you not to call me that!”

Brian smirked, Tim already knowing exactly what was coming next. 

“Whatever you say, Tim-Tam!”

Tim squinted at Brian, before putting on a grin of his own. Without a word, he effortlessly hoisted Brian onto his shoulder. Brian squirmed around, surprised at Tim’s show of strength. 

“Alright, alright! Enough with the gun show, tough guy! Movie starts soon!”

Tim obliged, but didn’t put Brian down. He walked over to the counter, Brian still over his shoulder, and placed a twenty dollar bill down. 

“Four tickets to Tremors.”

The salesperson hastily gave him the tickets, somewhat intimidated by the fact that he was effortlessly carrying a grown man taller than him over his shoulder.

“E-enjoy the move sir!”

Tim gave him a polite smile before taking the tickets and finally heading towards the cinema. Brian struggled to escape, but Tim had a firm grasp on him. After all, he had quite a but of experience with this. 

“C’mon Tim-Tam! How’re you gonna eat popcorn like this?”

Tim continued walking, taking amusement at Brian’s attempts to escape. Jay and Alex immediately took notice when Tim approached. Alex took the chance to make a joke. 

“Hey Tim you uh, got a lil something on your shoulder.”

Tim smiled and gave Brian a pat on his butt. 

“Yep. He’s little alright.”

“Wh- I’m taller than you???”

Tim let out a laugh at Brian’s response. There was still some time before the movie, which meant more time to mess around. Jay had the same idea. He had gone behind Tim and was feeding Brian popcorn. Tim took notice and turned around. Jay smiled and attempted to feed Tim as well.

“Hey Alex! Come over here for a sec.”

Alex listened and went beside Jay.

“Take his popcorn.”

Alex raised an eyebrow at the strange suggestion, but did so anyway. Jay pouted as he reached to get it back. Perfect. He was distracted. Jay was taken by surprise as he too was hoisted onto Tim’s shoulder. He yelped and attempted to struggle. Alex stood wide eyed at Tim’s amazing yet unnecessary show of strength. A few bystanders stared as well, much to Brian and Jay’s embarrassment.

“Alright tough guy, you made your point. Can you put me down now?”

Tim smiled as he shook his head.

“Nah. I think you guys need some assistance getting to the theater anyways.”

Tim walked towards their theater, not slowed down at all despite carrying two taller men. Alex followed close behind, struggling to carry a few buckets of popcorn and drinks.

People continued to stare as Tim walked into the theater, Brian and Jay still held firmly in his arms. Finally finding a good place to sit, Tim finally let go. The two dropped onto their seats and looked up at Tim. He made an exaggerated show of flexing his biceps at them, before sitting in between them. He draped his arms over the both of them and pulled them in for a hug. 

“Alright you little bastards. You wanted this, so you better stay for the entire screening.”

Alex clumsily made his way towards the group, a few kernels dropping from the bucket. Right when everyone thought he would drop it all, he sat himself down, securing every bucket and drink firmly. Brian gave a slow clap, mildly impressed at Alex’s balance.

“Good job buddy. Pass some of that here, will ya?”

Alex handed a bucket over to Brian. He turned over to Tim, shoveling a few handfuls of popcorn into his mouth.

“Hey, Tim-Tam. Take a look around. Y’know what I see? No people!”

Tim turned around. There was nobody else in the theater besides them. 

“That’s cool, but what did I say about calling me that?”

Before Tim could react, a handful of popcorn was launched into his face. Wiping it off, he glared at the attacker. Brian was now perched on a seat a few rows away, smug grin on his face and a bucket of popcorn in his arm.

“What you gonna do about it, tough guy?”

Tim sighed as he rolled up his sleeves and stepped over the seats. 

“Alright. You wanna play this game, so be it.”

Brian scrambled away as Tim narrowly missed his leg. Another handful of popcorn was thrown his way. Thank god it wasn’t buttered. Tim grunted as he got down on all fours and rushed towards Brian. Brian yelped at the sudden change and ran up even more rows. From below, Jay and Alex were watching the whole thing go down.

“Should we stop them?”

Alex nervously looked at Jay. Jay shook his head and smiled.

“Nah. This is way better than the movie.”

The two ate their popcorn as they watch Brian and Tim play cat and mouse in the large theater. Tim had a hard time grabbing Brian, but if he did, it would be over. Brian was doing a great job pelting Tim with popcorn, but was beginning to run out. He called out to Alex once more.

“Throw me another one!”

Alex paused, then fumbled as he winded his arm back, ready to toss the bucket over. Unfortunately, he never was much of a pitcher. The bucket flew across the air and smacked Brian straight in the face. That one mistake was all Tim needed. Alex winced as he witnessed Tim body slam Brian onto the floor. Before he could ask if they were okay, Tim spoke up.

“Gotcha! Look who’s little now!”

Brian squirmed under his grasp, but was once again unable to escape. He stared up at Tim, who was panting from the sudden physical activity. The two locked eyes, staring at each other for a few moments. Brian finally responded.

“Well, it’s still you.”

Tim frowned and tightened his grip. He stooped closer to Brian’s face.

“I’ll give you one more chance. Take it back or I’ll make you suffer.”

Brian was mildly concerned, but his need to a smug bastard overshadowed any worries he had.

“No.”

Tim sat up and began rolling up his sleeves even higher.

“Alright, you asked for it.”

Jay and Alex heard a sudden scream from Brian. They rushed over as he continued yelling, Alex especially concerned, fearing that an old foe might’ve returned.

“No! Stop! Get off!”

His worried immediately melted away once he heard Brian laughing. Tim had Brian pinned under him and was tickling him, refusing to let him go. Brian gasped as he reached out to Jay, his face red from laughter.

“Jay! You gotta help!”

His pleas were drowned out by more laughter as Tim went for his ribs. Jay decided to instead sit down and continue eating popcorn. 

“Sorry man. You got overpowered by Tim-Tam. Now you gotta face the consequences.”

Tim immediately stopped. He turned his gaze to Jay.

“What did you just call me?”

Jay immediately ran away. Tim leapt off of Brian as he began running after Jay. Alex walked over to Brian, who was panting heavily and clutching his stomach, still letting out a few giggles.

“You alright Brian?”

Brian wheezed as he composed himself, his face still red. 

“Yeah I’m good. But c’mon! Jay’s next! I can’t miss this!”

A loud laughter from the other side of the theater signaled that Jay didn’t last long. The two immediately ran over. The movie continued playing in the background, completely ignored by everyone. There were much more entertaining things going on. As Tim sat over Jay, smiling as he laughed under him, he felt happiness spread within him. It was good to have a friend group again. 

#Anonymous #asks #mine #marble hornets #long post #ok i couldnt resist having some sadness but #the rest is fun #:)

[maxhoemo]

i really have no idea how you're gonna make this work, but how about maxian pornstar au?

Max felt hot underneath the big studio lights on set. The entire crew surrounding him as they set up the shot, he suddenly felt extremely nervous. He had never “performed”, so to speak, in front of people before. At least, not anybody he could see. He had been camming for a few years now and had grown quite a following. He had a high sex drive, as he assumed most young guys did, but was always too scared to hook up with anybody. But the idea of being a porn star always did seem kind of glamorous. Being on web-cam though, it was so much less nerve-wracking. The people were just numbers on the screen, or usernames in the chat. He could still get positive re-enforcement without having to fully commit to being intimate. It was fun. Not to mention a great source of income. He knew he was gaining quite a following, but he hadn’t been expecting an offer to appear in an adult film. $4000 for a two day shoot, he’d be crazy to turn it down. He’d been putting himself out there so much, he figured he’d be able to do it. But now he was thinking that maybe he didn’t think his decision all the way through.

The director was whispering something to a PA, pointing at Max. was he doing something wrong? He decided to check over his script again to distract himself. He was playing Max (guess they wanted to cash in on his internet following), a rich, slutty (of course) teenage twink with a crush on his pool’s lifeguard. How creative. He half expected to be playing a college student ordering a pizza….

“Okay, lighting’s good.” He heard a crew member say, causing him to look up.

“Thanks for standing in, Max,” the female director smiled. “Why don’t you get your wardrobe and we’ll meet back on set in 10.”

God, even the crew looked like porn stars… He didn’t look nearly as perfect as these people, he felt a little inadequate. When he peeled off his t-shirt in wardrobe, he gave it a sniff. Phew. He wasn’t sweating. At least not much… He tossed it on a chair, hearing someone entering. “H-hey! I’m in here…”

“Dude, you’re gonna be sucking my dick later,” the guy laughed. “You’re really concerned with me seeing you changing?”

Max had to laugh too. When he put it like that. “Guess you’re right. So, you’re Ian Hardik, huh?” He had seen the guy in porn before. In fact, when he was younger and first discovering his sexuality, he had a bit of a crush on the guy.

“That’s what they call me. You’re the camboy?”

Max nodded. “Yeah. I feel kind of out of place with you guys though.”

“Hey, don’t worry. I know a lot of us have the whole Barbie and Ken look going on, but you’ve got that boy-next door thing. People like that.”

“Are you sure?”

“They wanted you to be here,” Ian smiled.

“Yeah. Guess I’m just a little nervous,” he shrugged, looking around for what costume was labeled his.

“Don’t be. Tasha’s really cool. If you gotta take a break or whatever, just say so.”

That wasn’t exactly what he was nervous about, but it was too complicated to put into words. So, he just nodded. It would seem the only costume piece layed out for him was a pair of high-waisted, gold booty-shorts. “These look like they’re right out of the seventies….”

“Actually, I think those are left over from a disco thing we did.”

“Really? Come on, I thought this was supposed to be like, a billion dollar industry.”

“Most of that goes to the talent,” he explained. “So production is pretty cheap. Lucky for us though.”

“Haha, yeah.”

….

When filming began, Max was actually surprised. He was starting to find it pretty fun. Dressing up and reciting cheesy lines, it was actually a good time. But then it came time for the first sex scene. The blowjob scene. Max did as he was instructed, sinking to his knees on the pool deck and pulling down Ian’s red lifeguard trunks. His erect cock now inches from Max’s face. It was the first time he had seen another man’s dick in real life, and it was practically touching his nose. He knew what to do, more or less. He’d done it to dildos on his livestreams hundreds of times. The real thing couldn’t be much different. But he found himself overcome with stage fright. He sat there on his knees, like an idiot, just staring awkwardly at Ian’s penis.

“Max, something wrong?” Tasha asked.

“I umm… Could I just… Get some water or something?”

“Sure.”

A PA handed him a plastic water cup in just a few minutes, not really giving Max enough time to psyche himself up. He gulped it down, handing the cup back. He would just have to do his best…

As the cameras started rolling again, Max took a deep breath and counted to three in his head. He took Ian’s cock with one hand, and slid it into his mouth. Just like he did with the toys. As he started to work it, he thought he was doing pretty well, until…

“Owe! Fuck, stop, stop…”

Max took Ian’s dick from his mouth, looking up at him. “Sorry! Did I hurt you…?” He felt his face heat up, wondering if anyone could tell.

“Just… Try not to drag your teeth on my skin.”

“Oh, shit. I’m sorry! I didn’t realize…”

“It’s okay.” He could tell Ian was trying to be understanding, but he couldn’t help feeling humiliated. These were all professionals, and Max had probably just given the guy the worst blowjob of his life.

The crew decided to break for lunch and pick up filming after.

….

“I’m really sorry…” Max told his co-star at lunch.

“Max, really, don’t worry about it. Everyone fucks up their first time.”

“You could tell it was my first time?”

“I meant on camera… Wait, was that your first time blowing a guy?”

Max didn’t answer, choosing instead to take a large chomp from the end of his carrot.

“Here, want me to show you?” Ian asked. Max looked over, not quite sure what he was getting at. “Look,” he went on. “Just, kind of, fold your lips over your teeth like this.” He demonstrated.

Max laughed. “That looks fucking stupid…”

“I know,” Ian returned the laugh. “But it looks better with something in there. Look,” He took his corn dog from his plate and demonstrated the technique for Max. It was ridiculous. He was sitting next to a porn star, blowing a corn dog. Yet, the way he slid it in and out of his mouth, coating the wiener in saliva. It made something in Max stir. He pulled the food item from his mouth with a pop, and then took a bite. “You try.”

Max put his lips over his teeth like Ian had showed him. It felt uncomfortable, honestly. He took his carrot and practiced like he’d been shown, locking eyes with Ian. Looking for re-assurance. He seemed to approve. Max removed the carrot, giving Ian a side-smile.

….

Ian pulled down Max’s shorts, as he was bent over a lawn chair. Even though there were lights and cameras and people all around them, when Ian touched him it felt like they were the only two people in the world. No wonder Ian was so popular. Even just grabbing Max by the hips made Max crave more and more of him.

He could feel Ian’s tongue teasing his hole. He licked him, eating his ass like a professional (which he was). Max’s eyes glazed over, becoming half-lidded. He melted into the soft cushion of the lawn chair, letting out a soft “Mmmm…” His asshole twitched. Ian was a thousand times better than when Max fingered himself. He always assumed professional porn like this was more like going through the motions. But Ian really seemed to be putting his all into it, working to pleasure Max. Maybe he was doing it especially for him, to put him at ease…. He bit his lip, letting a moan slip out. Suddenly, Ian stopped. He felt his mouth leave his behind, leaving Max bent over with his ass in the air. Disappointment showing on his face. He wiggled his ass a little, hoping Ian would start again, but he soon figured out that part was over. He frowned.

Although, what happened next he was not prepared for. Nor expecting. Filming stopped. Max looked around. “We just do this so you don’t get hurt, okay?” the director told him. He looked behind him. A PA in a latex glove was squirting a generous amount of lube from a bottle onto her hand. She began to slather it on Max’s ass, sliding her finger in and out. It was cold and surgical. Uncomfortable, and frankly, Max found the whole process bizarre. (And maybe even a little embarrassing. But he was too proud to admit it.) He focused his gaze on a particular spot on the chair. Right where one of the polk-a-dots met a seem, splitting the pattern in half.

He wasn’t sure how he was going to go straight back into filming a sex scene, but these guys really liked to move things along. Still bent over he chair, he lifted his face, shaking some hair from his eyes. Ian didn’t waste any time entering him. He thought his first time with a real person might be painful, but fucking himself with a dildo on webcam every weekend seemed to have prepared him for the experience. He closed his eyes, wanting to once again forget about everybody else. So that it could feel like only he and Ian were in the room. With every thrust, he found it easier to do so. His asshole quivered and clenched around Ian’s massive dick. Being fucked by a real-life cock was so much more pleasurable than he could have imagined. Especially considering that cock belonged to a professional. Without thinking about it, he found his hips jerking back to meet Ian’s thrusts. He moaned, feeling his own dick beginning to leak. Ian was just so fucking good at his job. He once again had to wonder if Ian wasn’t putting extra effort in to making the experience as good as it was. Knowing it was Max’s first porno shoot and all. He hadn’t expected to get any genuine pleasure from such a rehearsed scenario. Much like the experience with the lube had been. “Oh fuck…” he heard himself say. No. The way Ian was fucking him, so good. It had to be intentional. Maybe he really was attracted to Max and wanted to make a good impression. Max was starting to think maybe he was attracted to Ian too.

By the time they were filming the blowjob scene again, Max was positive he liked Ian. And he was sure Ian must like him too. The way his hand rested in his hair was just too gentle to be pretend. As Max sucked Ian off, just like he’d been taught, he kept his big green eyes open. Looking adoringly up at the porn star. He didn’t even hear the director praise his choice, and how well it fit his character. Ian soon came down Max’s throat, and again on his face when he pulled away. Max was directed to lick up as much as he could, and he happily obliged. Gazing up at Ian as he did so. He licked his cum coated lips. Wiped what was on his face with his fingers and fed it to himself. Then he licked Ian’s dick clean. He had certainly never pulled a move like that before.

“You missed some…” Ian pointed to a small drop on the tile. Max, with a grin, bent down and licked up off the ground. It was slutty, and totally degrading. And he fucking loved it. He would happily be the cumslut to a gorgeous porn star who fucked him senseless every night.

And it wasn’t just that. Ian was funny, and he’d been so kind and understanding towards Max. He liked him. And he was sure Ian liked him too.

As Max showered and got dressed into his normal clothes, he thought about asking Ian out. Or maybe Ian would even ask him. He never had much want for a relationship before, but the idea of having Ian as a boyfriend seemed very appealing. If he was going to have one, he wanted it to be a guy like him.

He put his t-shirt back on and checked himself in the mirror. Walking down the hall of the house they had filmed in, he wondered if he should just ask.

“Hey, babe.” For a split second Max thought Ian might be talking to him. Of course he wasn’t though. Max could see that clearly when he was he was talking to someone on a phone. “I’m on my way home,” he went on, kissing whoever it was through the phone. Max felt his stomach drop, and his cheeks heat up. How could he be so stupid? Ian had a boyfriend… Or a girlfriend already. He fucked for a living, he probably was completely emotionally numb to it now. Or more likely, an expert at compartmentalizing. He had someone. He just saw Max as another co-worker. Not like stupid, naive Max. Unable to fuck without some stupid emotional connection forming.

On the cab ride back to his hotel, he stopped feeling sorry for himself. Instead, he began to feel a rage building in his chest. An intense jealousy at whoever Ian had been speaking to. Ian was probably perfect for Max and now he would never even get a chance with him! All because some stupid idiot met him first! He hoped they broke up. But as soon as he did, he felt bad. Ian was probably happy with this person, and Max didn’t even really know Ian. He shouldn’t feel this way, but he couldn’t help it. He was sure in another universe, he and Ian would make a great couple. He had been Max’s first crush (or at least, the first intense one he could remember) and now those feelings had returned. They’d just had sex about 30 minutes ago after all. No matter what logic told him about the situation, he couldn’t help feeling depressed that he’d never get to experience being with Ian. He felt empty and helpless over the situation. But guilty for feeling it.

When he got back to his hotel, he flipped open his laptop and sat in bed. It may seem strange, but his audience of adoring fans were always a pick-me up when he was feeling down. The stereotype was that only perverts and weirdos watched cammers, but he always found that everyone was so nice. He read a couple of comments on his profile. He had a perfect five star rating.

tokendrunk: ★★★★★ Max is the perfect combo of sexy and funny! Makes his shows really fun and intimate :)

zanyherpes: ★★★★★  great streamer. feels like hanging out with an s/o or fwb. Best camboy on here.

daddy_gamer: ★★★★★ a really hot and cute male streamer. quickly became a fave of mine ;)

Max smiled to himself. Reading his nice comments always helped his anxiety. He slipped off his shorts and underwear, leaving only his long shirt and socks. He decided he’d start a stream right now. Fuck it! He hit ‘stream now’, giving the camera a wave. Already, he saw the numbers start to rise. “Hey, guys,” he smiled. “I know it’s not scheduled, but I just felt like getting on camera for a little while. He glanced over at the chat. They obviously didn’t have a problem with that. He shifted the camera angle, so that more of his body was visible. He sat so his t-shirt covered him up (for now).

MannyPad: Why are you in a hotel??

Nirmala: where are you?

“Remember when I told you guys I got asked to be in a porno? I was filming that today…” he explained, a grin involuntarily growing. It was still pretty cool he’d been approached, there was no denying. He made small talk with the chat for a few minutes, as he normally did.

Tigletonmain tipped $25

“Thanks, Tigletonmain. That guys always giving good tips.”

Tigletonmain: Use the vibrator ;)

“Aww, guys. I didn’t bring any of my stuff. I wasn’t planning on streaming. I was just feeling kind of down to be honest….”

SexIpecac: noooo :(

Sin30_3Gross: what why??

TechCunt: max sad makes me sad

Max sighed. “Do you ever just…. Have you ever felt sad for something that wasn’t even real? Like, you know it’s stupid but you just can’t help but feel like it? You know, it’s really hard to have sex with someone and completely remove your emotions. People say fucking on camera is hard but no, that’s the easy part. Fucking without feeling anything at all, that’s what’s hard.” He remembered back in high school. All the stupid things kids used to say about sex. Particularly, that girls get permanently attached to who they lose their virginity to because of some kind of female chemical. It was obviously all bullshit, but Max felt like that was exactly what had happened to him. Ian was just a guy living his life, and Max had projected all kinds of stupid thoughts and feelings on to the guy. All because of some stupid scripted sex scene which happened to be Max’s big virginity loss. Filmed for the whole world to see. “I feel so stupid. I’m all depressed and shit over nothing. But I can’t help it.” He glanced at the chat. “Yeah, very true. Human emotions are complicated…” He slipped a finger inside his mouth, absentmindedly sucking on it. Even this really seemed to get his audience excited. He smiled at that fact. “You know what I did today? I gave my first real blowjob.”

Co0kieCute: Hot!

daddy_gamer: Can’t wait to see that!!!

“Yeah. I think you guys’ll like it. You guys wanna see something I learned today?” Of course the chat got excited. Max smirked, adjusting the camera again. He pulled the end of his shirt up, spreading his legs and lying down on his back. He began to masturbate. No fancy toys, just his hand. It reminded him of his early days camming. He made sure to thrust his hips, sensual and slow. Running his hand along his dick in a paced, teasing manner. Putting on a show like this was second nature to him now. It wasn’t too different from what he had done in the past. That is until the big finish. Instead of cumming cleanly into his hand like he did normally, he finished all over his own stomach and chest. Making sure it was in frame. He caught his breath for a moment, then shifted so his face was on screen. Using his hand, he smeared the substance across his lips and licked it off before cleaning off the rest of his fingers. One at a time. What was left on his body, he rubbed further into his skin and over his hardening nipples. “Do you guys like that?” he moaned. The amount of hearts in the chat and donations coming in, it was obvious they had.

…..

When Max went to pick up his check the next day, he was a little anxious over running into Ian again. He just hoped he didn’t let anything stupid slip. At first, it seemed like maybe he’d avoided him. But just as he was leaving with his payment, he spotted Ian coming through the door.

“Hey, Max,” he smiled. “I didn’t get a chance to talk toy you after the shoot yesterday.”

“Oh, yeah.”

“I hope it wasn’t too much. Your first time in porn and all.”

“Oh no, it was actually fine. You’re really good.” Oh fuck, why did he say that? Ian didn’t seem to mind the comment though.

“Thanks. You too, I can see why you’re so popular.”

Max laughed. “Yeah. I guess people see me as kind of a chill dude who also does sex stuff.”

“Oh, I can see that for sure. You ever wanna, like, grab a drink sometime? Or just hang out?”

“Yeah,” Max smiled. “I’d really like that.” He didn’t care what his stupid emotions said. He would love to have Ian as a friend.

#requests #maxian #writing

[ellie-bee242]

My Heart Bleeds For You-Part 1

So…. This is my first attempt at a reader fic. Ever. Be gentle, and give ample feedback.

I’m so psyched for American Assassin guys, omg, the first time I saw the preview I just had major heart eyes. (keep in mind i have not read the book i’m just hella hyped for the movie and am going off of trailer info)

And after months of re-watching all the trailers and dying ten million times inside, I decided to try my hand at writing a fic. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated please!

Chapter 1 - Chapter 2 - Chapter 3

Chapter 1: Rollin’

Song rec: Rollin’ by Calvin Harris ft. Future & Khalid

Word count: 2,916

Warnings: Obscure mentions of abuse, obscure mentions/ implied violence (fist fights), mentions of blood, swearing. Also consent. Lots and lots of super sexy consent.

“I don’t care what the hell you have to do, just plant yourself in her life, she’s the easiest way to get to your target.” Hurley ordered from across the table.

Those orders were what brought Mitch Rapp to a standstill in the middle of a privately owned gym just outside the city. He sighed as he waited for the owner to grace him with her presence. She’d only made him wait twenty minutes passed the time they’d scheduled their meeting so far.

“It’s for the sake of the mission. It’s for the sake of the mission.” He chanted impatiently under his breath.

Finally the door to the owner’s office opened and two women stepped out.

“Just remember Sally, you never have to apologize to me, alright?” One of them said, somehow sounding both firm and gentle. Sally nodded meekly and wiped at her face.

“Thanks (Y/N).” She sniffled.

“Anytime. Think about what I said okay?” She inquired.

“I’ll be there next week, but do I have to participate?” Sally asked.

“Oh sweetheart, of course you don’t. Only what you’re comfortable with. And if that’s just watching, then that it one hundred percent fine. This place will always be safe for all.” She assured. “Is it alright if I hug you?” (Y/N) asked. Sally chewed on her lip before sticking her hand out, and the girl opposite her didn’t hesitate to take it and shake it. “I look forward to seeing you next week Sally.” She smiled and watched the girl walk into the locker room to change back into her normal clothes. Then she turned to her door and saw the note posted on the outside. She peeled it off and turned back around as she read it.

“Mitch Rapp?” She called out in a surprisingly loud voice, looking around the gym as she did.

He stepped forward and rose his hand to get her attention. Her bright eyes landed on him and his eyebrows rose in surprise as he watched her blatantly rake her gaze up and down his form. “You’re here for the job opening right?” She asked once her eyes returned to his.

“Yes, ma’am.” He nodded.

“(Y/N) will do just fine.” She assured him before beckoning him forward as she stepped back into her office.

“Have a seat if you like. Do you want a water?”

“No, thank you, ma’a-” He stopped himself at her quick look as she walked around the side of her desk to sit in the chair behind it. “No, thank you, (Y/N).” He corrected and she smiled.

“Well, Mitch,” she started as she reached into a drawer and pulled out a file, “I have to say that your resume is impressive. But I do have concerns.” She flipped it open and glanced through it one more time just to make sure she had all the vital information.

“What concerns?” Mitch asked, and she looked up to find him sitting straight in his chair.

“Your military experience. I’m not going to ask what you had to do, and I thank you for your service, but…” She hesitated, not wanting to upset him.

“You can be blunt, I don’t mind.” He promised when he realized why she had paused.

“Do you have any form of PTSD or anger management issue?” She asked. “Because if you do, I’m sorry but I can’t hire you as an instructor.” She frowned in worry.

“Why not?” He asked and at her look rushed to clarify, “I don’t have PTSD or any anger issues by the way, if you need a psych review I can provide one, I was just curious why that would disqualify me.”

“I would like a review, if you don’t mind providing one. And it would disqualify you because the type of gym I run is meant to be a safe and relaxing environment for everyone. We teach hand to hand combat two days a week and I can’t hire people suffering from PTSD because they might hurt their students. Likewise with people who have anger problems. They’re not welcome in my employ or under this roof in any capacity.” She said sternly. Mitch nodded respectfully.

“The ad said that I would be filling a Personal Trainer and hand to hand combat trainer position, is that still true or would I be going somewhere else?” He asked.

“No, I’m still in need of a personal trainer and kickboxing instructor. My last one quit in order to go back to college.” She smiled fondly. “And that’s why I had to ask if you suffered either that mental illness or instability. You will be working closely with individual clients and you have to be patient and kind.” She commanded.

“Yes ma'am.” He said reflexively. She shot him a look and he felt his lips twitch upwards briefly. “Sorry.”

“We don’t really apologize here. We just promise to work on it.” She grinned. He nodded. “Mitch I know this is technically an interview but you don’t have to be so serious. If your psych eval. comes back clean you’ll get the job.” She promised.

“It’s a bad habit I’m afraid.” He said, attempting to smile. (Y/N) briefly turned pink, her face contorting before she burst into laughter.

“Okay… So maybe you should stick with serious. That smile looked painful.” She teased. He shifted awkwardly in his chair and she tried to school herself.

“Alright, so if you don’t mind, I have a therapist who you can go see for your evaluation?” She offered.

“Actually, I have a one prepared. After I was discharged.” He explained.

“Oh. Alright. Just email it to me, or mail it to me, or whatever you’d like, and then I’ll get back to you once I look it over.” She said, quickly grabbing a sticky-note pad and scribbling her email address and the address of the gym down on it. She peeled it off and handed it to him.

“Thanks.” He said as he took it.

“I look forward to seeing you again Mitch.” She smiled as she stood, prompting him to stand too. He watched her walk around her desk and go and open the door for him. He stepped out of her office and she turned to him. “May I shake your hand?” She asked. He frowned, perplexed on why she had to ask and offered his hand out.

“Sure.” He assented.

“Sorry. That’s something I forgot to mention. If you work here, consent is always required for even the simplest touch. Some of our members have had unfortunate pasts that brought them here. So, in order to make sure everyone is comfortable, we always ask before coming anywhere close to someone, even another employee.” She explained as she took his hand and shook it.

“That’s actually very considerate.” He noted.

“I try to accommodate everyone. I never want anyone to feel uncomfortable inside my gym.” She said seriously. Mitch nodded at her and she smiled softly at him. “I can’t wait to work with you.” She said again.

“That’s only if you think my evaluation is good.” His reminder only caused (Y/N) to grin.

“Nine times out of ten I’m a good judge of character, and I have a good feeling about you, Rapp.” She said confidently, giving the hand she still held a single pat before letting it go and walking away.

A week later he found himself following (Y/N) around the gym and hour before it opened listening as she explained what happened where and what activities were available on what days.

“… and that’s the infirmary.” She pointed to the door in the corner.

“Infirmary?” Mitch asked, sure he’d heard her wrong.

“I offer a free self-defense class after gym hours twice a week. The program spans six weeks. The first time I offered the class I was in the hospital every other week because someone had panicked trying to get out of a hold and elbowed me in the face. Luckily no one has broken my nose yet, but I figured I should add a room with basic first aid for my nose bleeds, and in case anyone else needs simple medical attention.” She shrugged. “It’s served me well in the past three years.” She sighed.

“Wow.” He was honestly impressed.

“Yeah, I learned to dodge out of the way pretty quickly but occasionally someone will catch me off guard.” (Y/N) laughed awkwardly, thinking he’d been surprised at the fact that she’d been injured enough times to need a whole room for medical care.

“I meant, wow, I’m impressed that you do that.” He clarified.

“Oh! Well…. I mean…” She fidgeted. “Everyone should be able to defend themselves. It wouldn’t be right if I charged to teach people something that should be their right to learn.” She shrugged. He nodded.

“Anyways, moving on with the tour.” She said quickly, walking ahead a few paces. She pointed out a set of double frosted glass doors. “That is room used for yoga routines and personal training in between. The next room over is used for kick boxing classes on Tuesdays, spin class on Wednesdays, and aerobics on Fridays. Unfortunately I don’t really have a designated space for a personal trainer so you’ll kind of just float between rooms if that’s cool.” She told him.

“That’s fine.” He assured her.

“Okay. Men’s locker and changing room, individual showers included and they’re cleaned every night by a custodial service. Women’s locker and changing rooms on the other side, if you ever hear of a problem in the women’s locker room please come and get me specifically. Actually, the same goes for the men’s locker room.” She added after a second of thought. He nodded.

“Can I ask why?” He wondered.

“Because I’m the only one allowed to settle and stop altercations if and when they happen. That way no one can try and come after one of my employees with legal bullshit.” She said bluntly.

“And you can take on two roided out guys?” He asked with a skeptical smirk. (Y/N) gave him a challenging look.

“You doubt my combat skills, Rapp?” She asked. He shrugged.

“You are….” He pinched his fingers together. “Tiny.” He grinned at how indignant she looked.

“If even I am tiny, which I’m not, I can still handle myself in a fight against two meat heads.” She huffed.

“It’s true, she’s a badass.” The new voice made both of them turn as a tall blonde strode into the gym with a bag slung across her chest.

“Hey Elle.” (Y/N) called to her.

“Hey gorgeous.” She winked jokingly. “Who’s the mop top next to you?” She asked as she walked up to them.

“This is Mitch Rapp, he’s going to be the new personal trainer and combat specialist.” (Y/N) introduced. “Mitch this is my good friend, and first employee, Elizabeth.”

“Call me Elle, please.” She smiled. “Can I shake your hand?” She asked, offering hers out.

“Sure.” He agreed, remembering the rule about consent in all things. Elle shook his hand and then grinned at her boss.

“I’m gonna go change and prepare my room.” She told her before heading to the locker room.

“Elle teaches the spin class. That’s why her legs look so amazing.” (Y/N) nearly sighed as Mitch focused back on her.

“I hadn’t noticed.” He shrugged.

“Yeah sure.” She snorted. “And before you ask, no I don’t have a policy against romance between employees. Just keep it professional during business hours is all I ask.” She said quickly.

“That’s not going to be a problem. I’m not interested in Elle.” He shrugged.

“Alright then.” She said, sounding like she didn’t believe him one bit. “Anyways, you can use today to build a routine you’d like to implement for next week’s class, and spend the day familiarizing yourself with the gym. Feel free to look in on any of the classes, just be aware of the members. If they seem uncomfortable, move on.” She suggested and Mitch nodded quickly. “I’m going head to my office, if you have any questions my door is usually unlocked. Also, sorry in advance. Elle won the weekly competition so this whole week her music is going to be blasting through the gym.” She laughed.

“Weekly competition?”

“Every week we have a little competition, voted on by all the employees beforehand. We hold the competition on Sunday nights after closing. This week’s competition was to see who could do the most lunges. I won.” Elle said triumphantly as she came out from the locker room, now changed into a pair of athletic leggings and a sports-bra. Her hair was pulled up into a bun and she had a large water bottle clutched in one hand.

“So when does the torture start?” (Y/N) asked.

“As soon as you’ll let it.” Elle grinned.

“Not until five minutes before opening.” The other girl reluctantly groaned. Elle simply cackled in response. “Mitch, feel free to use any of the equipment in the gym as well today.” (Y/N) said suddenly, pulling his attention solely back to her. He nodded.

“Alright, I’ll keep that in mind.” He replied.

“Cool. I’ll be in my office if anyone needs me.” She called before closing her door.

“Try not to need her. She’s usually busy with paper work on days where she doesn’t teach a class, and if she gets interrupted too much she’ll have to stay late at night.” Elle informed him. “I know she knows some pretty comprehensive self-defense, and I know I said she’s a badass but I still don’t like the thought of her here all alone late at night.” She frowned. Mitch nodded.

“You wouldn’t mind if I came to you with questions then, would you?” He asked.

“Not at all.” She smiled. “But if you don’t have any that are pressing right this moment I would like to get my room set up for today’s classes.” She thumbed over her shoulder and he nodded, gesturing for her to go ahead. “Glad to have you aboard, Mitch. Hope you like it here.” She smiled kindly before heading into the spin room.

He looked around, alone now, and decided to go change into his sports-wear. He’d take (Y/N) up on her suggestion, and use the day to familiarize himself with the equipment as well as come up with a combat routine.

“Mitch!” (Y/N) called after the gym closed.

He turned his head and saw her jogging out from her office to reach him before he walked out the door.

“Hey, what’d you think of today?” She asked.

“It was nice.” He said shortly. (Y/N) nodded and rocked back on her heels. When she realized he wasn’t going to say more she cleared her throat awkwardly and looked around for a second.

“Would you mind terribly helping me set up a couple things? James normal does it but he’s out sick today.” She requested.

“Sure, whatever you need. What are we setting up for?” He asked.

“I have a self-defense class beginning tonight.” She explained as she led him back to the massive storage room next to her office.

“Oh.” He intoned, not knowing what else to say. She grabbed a mat that dwarfed her and he moved forward to help.

“Oh, I got this one, if you could get that dummy right there.” She kicked a leg up to point her toes at it, sat in the corner.

“Alright, if you’re sure you got it.” He frowned.

“I’m good, promise.” She giggled before dragging the mat out of the room she got it where she wanted and then pulled at the Velcro straps before jumping out of the way as the mat unrolled and flopped to the ground. She went around the corners, securing the Velcro to the floor and then told him where to place the dummy so it’d be easier for her drag it into place later.

“Thanks.” She smiled after he’d place it down.

“Do you think I could come to the class tonight?” He asked suddenly. She blinked in surprise.

“Sure, if you want. If you want to observe you can sit with everyone else.” She shrugged.

“Or I could help you.” He suggested.

“Help me?” She wondered.

“Well, you need an ‘attacker’ don’t you?” He asked.

“No, not tonight. With what I had planned I’d break your nose.” She cringed.

“So I’ll help with equipment tonight.” He shrugged.

“I can’t pay you for this, it’s after hours and a free program.” She warned.

“That’s fine. I’d just like to help.” He shrugged.

“Alright. If you really want to spend your night lugging dummies around,” She rose her hands up in surrender, “then I definitely won’t be the one to stop you. You’ll be saving me a back ache.” She smiled. He nodded and gave her a minuscule smile in return.

“The class doesn’t actually start for another hour so if you want to do anything…” She shrugged.

“I’d like to get to know you, actually.” He said, startling her by the look of her expression.

“O-kay….” She said slowly.

“I thought we could be friendly.” He said as way of explanation.

“Alright. Wanna play twenty questions or something?” She laughed.

“I’m game if you are.” He shrugged.

“Why the hell not.” She sighed before plopping down on the mat sitting lotus style and leaning back on her hands. Mitch sat down across from her and mirrored her position. “You first.” She made a sweeping gesture between them.

“What’s your favorite color?” He asked.

#mitch rapp #mitch rapp x reader #american assassin #aafic #my writing #MHBFY #amas

[writeyouin]

Greg house imagine where reader has depression and she's going through a really depressive episode and she's a pro at hiding it but House notices and then just fluff or something. (I don't know sorry I just feel it would help me haha sorry)

Gregory House X Reader – I See It

A/N – I went with a much more clinical definition of depression this time; I hope it works. Anon, if you’d like a different take on this, with more fluff or whatever, I’m willing to do a re-write, just message again and I’ll work it out.

Warnings – Depression/ Depressed Reader.

Rating – M

Gregory had read all your files when Cuddy hired you to be part of the team, much like he’d done with the other three “ducklings” as Wilson had so affectionately nicknamed them. Furthermore, House had already broken into your locker, car, and home, all within a week; he insisted on knowing the type of person he was working with. Yet, no matter what he saw in your belongings and files, your personality contradicted it; this was more than an unexpected psyche, something was off on a much deeper level.

On his seventh week of attempting to solve you, House was growing impatient, it was like he was missing a deeper piece of a puzzle. You had the nice smile and the bedside manner, you were usually on point in your work, and you’d never been admitted into hospital for anything… that was the odd part. Finally, like a light-bulb switching on, House had it, he knew what he was looking at.

“Unbelievable.” He murmured to himself, looking further into your records. He had to confront you; meeting with you would reveal everything he needed to know.

You typed away at your computer, writing a report on your most recent case under House. While the man could be extremely narcissistic, you found his intelligence enlightening; it was like he had a whole new perspective on the human body. You took a sip of your drink, almost spitting it out in shock when a rough hand grabbed your shoulder.

“House!” You breathed, relieved upon turning around to find him staring seriously down at you. “How can I-”

“Depression.” He stated calmly.

“What?”

“Depression - A mood disorder marked especially by sadness, inactivity, difficulty in thinking and concentration, a significant increase or decrease in appetite and time spent sleeping, feelings of dejection and hopelessness, and sometimes suicidal tendencies. That would be the simplest definition, if horrifically understated.”

“Is this for a case?”

“Oh, you’re good. Drop the act (Y/N), I can see right through you; I see the depression in you.”

You frowned, standing up to face House fully. “Let’s say I’m mad enough to play along with another one of your power trips, how could you have seen it?”

“Because, I used to see it in myself every day.”

You opened your mouth to reply, quickly shutting it when a strangled squeak came out.

“You go full days when you either don’t eat or overeat, then you feel guilty. When the guilt becomes too much, your brain switches to anxiety until it becomes too much and you can’t feel anything. You have books in your locker which I’ve never seen you read because you either can’t enjoy them or don’t have the concentration to. Need I continue?”

You moved for the door, House stuck out his cane, blocking you.

“There are constant bags under your eyes, indicating a lack of sleep. I’ve seen weeks where you neglect your personal hygiene. Somehow you manage to hide all this under a particularly sunny exterior but the real giveaway, is that you’ve never been to a doctor; most people need to go, even for something simple, buy you make a habit of avoiding it to avoid revealing your current predicament.”

The words resonated within you, shutting out all options of escape. You’d thought that on the rare chance someone should spot your disorder you’d feel… anything; like a door prising open. However, there was nothing. No sadness. No anger. No relief. Just the familiar, icy claws of numbness.

“Why?” You wondered aloud. “Why can’t I feel anything?”

House regarded you with concern you hadn’t thought possible from him, there was no trace of his usual sarcasm or arrogance; just simple remorse - it was the eyes of a survivor, someone who knows the exact ordeal that depression brought with it. “Because you need help.”

“You?”

“God no, I’m no advocate for helping others.”

You broke eye contact, questioning everything you knew. A sullen expression haunted House, he knew he’d have to do more or there was a good chance of losing your trust, or worse, you.

“But-” He murmured, awkwardly resting his hand on your arm, “I know where to find the help you need.”

You shook your head. “I could lose my job.”

“There are anonymous channels.” When you didn’t reply, House pushed on, “Look, usually I’d ignore this because it isn’t my business but if you’re not going to do this for yourself then please, do it for the patients. One bad day for you could be the end of a patient’s life; you don’t need that kind of guilt hanging over you.”

You swallowed thickly, thinking of the consequences. “Can you… Can you be there for me? I don’t think I can do this alone”

House took a deep breath, reaching for his Vicodin and stroking the bottle comfortingly. “Uh… Yeah, sure- but don’t get weird about it.” He added sarcastically, earning a small laugh from you. “Oh and don’t tell the other three about it, especially Cameron, she gets involved in everything.”

“Good to know, thanks House.”

“So long as we’re not in public, how about Greg?”

You nodded, pondering how long the happiness would last this time. “Okay, Greg it is.”

#house x reader #gregory house #gregory house x reader #doctor house #doctor house x reader #house md #house #dr house #dr house x reader #fanfic #fanfiction #reader insert #depression #depressed reader #i see it #Anonymous

[leofemt]

milk, no sugar

"I heard you like Broadway," Carisi starts awkwardly. This is an awful, awful idea.

"Occasionally." Barba doesn't give anything away, setting his coffee down and fiddling with what looks like a bouquet-in-progress. It reminds Carisi of a creamsicle, or something, bright orange and soft white petals, accented with greenery.

"Hey, that's cool, New York City and all that." Carisi blusters, and he doesn't know why he's tripping over his words now. Maybe something of what Rollins said yesterday's gotten into his head.

barisi, barista/florist au, 7.3k words. 

on ao3.

Carisi yawns as he unlocks the door to the coffee shop. The street is still dark, the occasional car speeding by.

"Dodds?" He calls, re-locking the door behind him. The light in the back room is on, filtering through the cracks around the door. He flicks the lamp on the front counter on, not wanting to turn on the main lights just yet.

"Yeah!" Dodds replies through the door. "Hey, Carisi, good timing. Come help me with this."

Carisi frowns, quickly turning on the coffee machine, hearing its familiar stutter, and opening the door to the back room.

"Yeah?" He says, and his eyes widen, taking in the scene in front of him. He laughs. "Dodds, what-"

Dodds frowns at him.

"Shut up, just help me." He mutters. There's flour on the floor and an explosion of sticky dough on the counter. "I was trying a new sticky bun recipe, and the Cusinart-"

Carisi chuckles and rolls up his sleeves.

"Figures, my opening shifts I end up with the new guy." He says, and Dodds huffs.

"You were the new guy two months ago." He replies, scraping dough off the marble counter with a piece of plastic. He glances over. "You should've put on an apron, Carisi."

Carisi grumbles, because Dodds is right. There's already flour and sticky, drying yeast on his shirt.

"I'll put an apron on over it, or something," He says.

"That's disgusting," Dodds says.

"It's your fault." Carisi pinches his lips.

Dodds sighs.

"Yeah, okay. I'll lend you my spare shirt." He offers, and Carisi mumbles an acceptance, placated. They clean up as best they can, but at some point Dodds has to put those buns in the oven, or Carisi will be opening a coffee shop with no pastries.

There's a knock at the front door. Carisi's head shoots up.

"Hold on, I'll get that." He says, rushing to the sink, scrubbing his hands as quickly as possible. "Liv's still on vacation, right? Did Rollins forget something?"

Dodds shrugs.

The knocking gets sharper. Carisi hisses as the water turns too hot. He shuts off the tap.

"Coming!" He shouts. His gaze swivels to Dodds. "Get those buns in the oven, yeah?"

Dodds looks at him.

"Technically I'm more experienced than you, Carisi." He says, working the dough under his hands without looking down. "Y'know."

Carisi makes a shooing motion with his hands.

"Yeah, I know, whatever," he replies, wiping his hands and all but sprinting to the door to the front end, bursting out of it. "Rollins? Is that-"

It's not Rollins. Fucking Christ, it's the guy, Carisi blinks, the guy from across the street- the florist in the apron with the sharp hair and the weird ties, and he's scowling through the glass.

Carisi jolts out of his trance and fumbles to open the door.

"Uh." He says. "Can I help you?"

It's snowing outside. Carisi can see why the guy's understandably grumpy. Snowflakes are gathering on the shoulders of his coat, and he glances meaningfully at the warm, dimly lit interior of the cafe.

"Uh." Carisi repeats. "Yeah, come in. You're-"

"Rafael Barba." The guy says, brushing off his shoulders, stepping inside. "I work across the street-"

"-at the florist's, yeah." Carisi finishes, and Barba looks startled, like he's never been interrupted mid-sentence before. "Liv's gone over there a couple times, whaddya need?"

Barba looks slowly over the dough-sticky front of Carisi's shirt.

"I thought Liv usually works Sunday mornings." He says. "Who are you?"

"Oh, Liv's vacation leave starts today." Carisi replies, crossing his arms over his front self-consciously. "She's goin' to the Bahamas, or something. With her mystery suitor."

Barba frowns.

"Was that today?" He mutters.

"Didja need something?" Carisi asks again, awkwardly, and Barba looks back up at him. He shakes his head.

"No, I think I'm fine." He says. "I needed to talk to Liv, but if she's not here-"

He motions towards the door.

"Right." Carisi says. "Uh, here, I'll get the door."

Barba nods succinctly, gathering himself. Carisi sees him leave without a goodbye.

~~~~~~

It's not until an hour later Carisi remembers he'd forgotten to introduce himself.

Damn, he thinks, the chance to tell the attractive guy across the street his name- all he knows about Barba is that he's a florist, he likes Broadway musicals, and he takes his coffee with some kind of milk but no sugar. He likes to come in when Liv is on duty. She knows how to make his coffee right.

He shakes himself out of it. Dodds clatters another tray of scones on the counter, and Carisi pulls on his latex gloves and puts the rest into the glass display case- it's ten minutes to opening. This is his first shift without Liv or Rollins or Fin to watch his back. His hands shaking may or may not have something to do with the three espressos he's already had, just to psych himself up. He's going to crash so, so badly this afternoon.

"Make me a frappe before we open?" Dodds jokes, and Carisi rolls his eyes. "I'll settle for an espresso shot."

Carisi hits the button. Dodds downs the cup. The sun's started to rise outside, so Carisi turns the main lights on, seeing the coffee shop come to life. In half an hour, it'll be full of people looking for their morning caffeine fix.

~~~~~~

Carisi sees Barba hand a bouquet of sunflowers to a young, redheaded woman outside the front of his shop, and sighs. His cheek is propped up on his palm.

"Barba?" Dodds looks ac Carisi, then Barba out the window, then back again. "Really?"

"Hey!" Carisi protests. "Listen-"

Dodds holds up a hand.

"Nevermind. I don't want to hear it." He says on second thought, shaking his head. Carisi's protests die on his tongue- it's not like he has thing for the guy, outside of him looking cute in an apron. He's kind of an asshole. Right? Carisi wonders what makes that kind of guy decide to run a flower shop.

The crowd has died down. All their customers are either the hipster-looking type, who tap away on their Macbooks at the small tables in the front of the shop, or take their drinks to-go.

"You could ask Liv to put in a good word," Dodds offers.

Carisi buried his head in his hands.

"It's not a job recommendation or something, Dodds." He says, voice muffled in his fingers. "Just..."

Dodds pats him on the back.

"You're lucky you're engaged." Carisi sighs.

~~~~~~

Rollins comes to relieve Carisi after six hours of scribbling names on cups and pressing well-worn buttons on the behemoth silver coffeemaker behind the counter. She ties her apron behind her back and cracks some joke about Fin's perpetual lateness, and Carisi washes up, gratefully.

"I'll get your shirt back tomorrow." Carisi promises Dodds. He purses his lips. The shirt hangs baggy on him, because yeah, sue him, he doesn't have the other man's strong biceps or thick chest. He has a slim figure. Not weedy. Lean.

"You alright, Carisi?" Rollins looks up at him. "Earth to space cadet."

"Hey, I'm at least an astronaut." Carisi protests. "Dodds is the cadet."

Rollins laughs, and draws a dog's face in the foam of the latte she's making for herself.

"Excuse me." A voice from Carisi's elbow. Carisi almost jumps out of Dodds's shirt.

"Jesus." He exhales, pressing a palm to his chest, swiveling around. "Barba, you scared the-"

"Hey, Barba." Rollins interrupts, smiling her southern-belle smile. "Need a pick-me-up?"

Barba sighs and pinches the bridge of his nose, his forehead wrinkling.

"Yes, please." He groans. "The usual. If I see one more iris I'm going to go insane."

"How is it everyone knows Barba's usual but me?" Carisi wonders aloud.

"Because he makes a point to come in when Liv or I are working." Rollins jokes, pouring steamed milk into a to-go cup. "Barba doesn't like learning new faces."

"Don't make me out to be some... antisocial hobgoblin." Barba snarks, crossing his arms, but he won't look directly at Carisi.

Rollins shrugs.

"I mean, you play the part." Rollins fires back. "I still don't like you, and I've been working across the street from your shop for three years."

Barba rolls his eyes.

"I ordered coffee, not your opinions." He says, taking his wallet from his back pocket and rifling through it for a fiver. "I should get a refund for having to listen to insults."

Rollins pushes his coffee across the counter. The name scribbled on the side is 'hobgoblin'. Barba stares at it distastefully before, apparently, deciding that his need for caffiene trumps his petty instincts, and picking it up.

"Keep the change." He deadpans, turning around and walking out of the shop. Carisi tracks his back with his eyes. Dodds raises his eyebrows.

"He's a ray of sunshine." Dodds says.

Rollins laughs.

"Just wait 'til you see him at the street small-business meetings." She says. "He's like a lawyer, or something. That's why the light in front of our shops never stays out for more than a day when it goes out, 'cause he gets what he wants at the municipality meetings."

Carisi groans. Rollins gives him a funny look. Great. Barba is hot, smart, and a sarcastic dick. He has really stellar taste.

~~~~~~

"The shop holding up while I'm not there?" Liv's voice is tinny through the speakers. Rollins, Fin, Carisi, and Dodds are crowded around the phone. The last customers are filtering out of the door, and it's almost time to close up- Carisi had left around lunchtime, run some errands, checked up on Bella on his niece, but Rollins had suggested they all try the new burger joint down the street, so he shows back up at the coffee shop around closing time.

"As well as we can." Fin says with a chuckle. "Enjoy your vacation, but come back soon, Liv."

"Noah alright with your sister and Lucy?" Liv asks, and Rollins smiles.

"As well as they can be." She laughs. "Hey, Kim's come pretty far after she started getting therapy and meds, and you've got a good sitter in Lucy. There's not a lot of sitters who'll stay in a house they're not familiar with for an entire week."

Benson sighs.

"Yeah, I know." She says, but she sounds happy. "Heard Barba came in again."

Carisi speaks up.

"Yeah, didja know he avoids us newbies?" He says, faking an offended voice. "Shoulda seen the look on Dodds' face."

"Yeah?" Liv chuckles. "Well, I'll be sure to call him and tell him to apologize to Dodds."

"I'm right here, you know." Dodds says.

"Anyways." Rollins interrupts, giving Carisi a look. "We won't keep you. Go have fun with your mysterious friend."

"Yeah, who're you with?" Fin pipes up, but Liv only laughs.

"I'll call again later." She says. "Text me if anything happens."

They say their goodbyes. Liv hangs up. Carisi sees Barba locking up his shop across the street, back illuminated by the setting sun- the navy snowclouds from this morning have cleared, and now the sky is flooded with the shades of roses and tropical fruit smoothies. Barba and the nice girl who works the front desk who sometimes comes in to pick up two coffees- her name reminds Carisi of caramel, but he's so wiped he can't pull it from the reserves of his memories-, one with steamed milk, one caramel-something-frappe, are pulling the display carts bursting with flowers into the shop.

"Let's get dinner!" Rollins says, beaming. She seems a lot happier now that Kim's working her program and she can focus her energy on Jesse. No more gambling, no more heavy drinking, just her and her sister and her baby and her dog and maybe her friends at the coffeehouse- she seems... well-adjusted. Carisi's happy for her.

"Yeah, Carisi's paying." Fin says, grinning, and Carisi starts.

"Hey, wait-" He says.

"I'm down with that." Dodds laughs. Carisi starts to wish he had better friends.

~~~~~~

Carisi wakes up the next morning sprawled on the floor. It's dark. There's a tapping sound.

"Fuck." He groans. "Fuck."

Beside him, someone shifts.

"Carisi?" Dodds mutters. "What the fuck-"

"Yeah, yeah, Ma, I'm comin'..." Carisi mumbles. The tapping sound is getting louder. He throws an arm over his eyes. At least it's still dark.

"Hey." Dodds slaps him. "Carisi. What's that noise."

"God, don't ask me." Carisi groans.

After a moment, he forces himself to sit up. God, Rollins and Fin must have goaded him and Dodds into drinking more than advisable last night. He definitely needs to get better friends.

"What!" He shouts, rubbing his eyes, and Dodds smacks him again and hisses to shut up. They're both so, so hungover. Carisi gets to his feet and goes to the door, because they're on the floor of the coffeehouse. This can't be sanitary.

He stares unseeingly out of the glass door.

Barba stares back at him. His tapping against the glass doesn't stop.

"Barba." Carisi groans when he comes back to his senses, and of course the cute guy across the street has to see him. He opens the door.

"Carisi." Barba says, deadpan.

"Barba." Carisi mumbles again. "Sorry."

He's not quite sure why he's apologizing, but in front of Barba, with his perfect tie-shirt-accessory combo and his sharp ears and his nice figure under an apron, he feels a little like a slob. Probably because he's just woken up from drunk-sleeping on the floor.

"I got a note." Barba says, looking down at the paper in his hands. "Stuck under my shop's door."

Carisi blinks, non-comprehending.

"The newbies got out of control last night, so we left them in the store, because I don't know where they live." Barba reads aloud. "If they're still there when you open up, make sure they're not dead. Rollins."

Carisi wishes he did die.

"Carisi!" Dodds shouts from the floor. "Shut the door, you're letting in a draft."

"Well." Barba says, folding up the note. "You're both alive. I'll take my leave."

"Uh," Carisi says, before he can rein in his runaway tongue. "Can I get you coffee?"

Barba pauses in the act of turning away.

"On the house." Carisi continues, slightly desperate. "God, I need some coffee."

Barba apparently can't refuse free coffee, because he makes a noise and steps inside. Carisi gratefully closes the door behind him, remembers that he's still wearing Dodds' shirt, goddamnit, tells Barba to make himself at home and turns the lights on. He leans down to shake Dodds.

"Hey. Dodds." He mutters. "Get up, you need to make the stuff, coffee, c'mon-"

Dodds groans and rolls over. Carisi kicks him lightly and heads into the staff bathroom.

He rolls up his sleeves and splashes water on his face, gets some on his shirtfront- god, neither he nor Dodds have spare clothes here anymore- and heads back to the front. Barba is sitting at one of the stools by the front of the counter.

"Awake yet?" Barba says critically. Carisi grumbles assent.

"Dodds." The other man is sitting up, rubbing his face. "Hey, go to your place and get a couple shirts, would ya?"

"Yeah, you owe me two shirts now." Dodds mutters, rubbing his temple. He rifles around in his pockets for his apartment keys. Luckily, he lives only three blocks down, and this is a safe enough area that he won't get jumped for walking around before sunup.

Carisi turns on the coffee machine. He glances apologetically at Barba.

"Sorry," he says, "give it a minute to warm up."

Barba shrugs.

"I don't have that much prep work before I have to open the shop." He says offhandedly.

Carisi frowns.

"But you're here at, like, 5 am every day." He wonders, opening the fridge and looking for something to drink to take the edge off. There's juice for smoothies, and he pours himself a cup, swallowing the entire glass.

Barba doesn't reply. Carisi doesn't register the silence until his brain starts working marginally more because of the sugar in the orange juice and he does, and he looks up.

Barba's flushed. Or maybe it just looks that way in the dim light.

"Uh." Carisi says. "I mean, I guess flowers gotta be checked on too."

"Yes." Barba replies shortly.

Carisi gets the milk out of the fridge and puts it through the frother. Coffee with frothed milk for Barba, two espresso shots with a shot of caramel syrup for him. He slides Barba's drink over the counter and takes a sip of his own- it's still scalding hot, and he grimaces.

The silence is awkward. Carisi tries to dig through his subconscious, through the blaring headache, for a conversation topic, but he's got nothing. He sighs and rubs his temple.

"Do you want some aspirin?" Barba says abruptly.

Carisi blinks and looks up.

"Uh." He says. "What?"

Barba turns his head to the side. His shirt collar tightens around the front of his neck.

"Aspirin." He repeats, fishing a bottle out of his pocket. "I thought... whoever was here might appreciate some."

Carisi stares at him. Barba glances at him. His eyes are green in the low light.

"Oh." Carisi startles. "Thanks. I'll, uh, tell Dodds when he gets back, too."

Barba makes a noise and goes back to his coffee. Carisi hesitantly reaches across the counter, like he's expecting Barba to hiss and bat his hand away like a cat or something, grabs the little white bottle that has his headache relief in it and pops two pills with a gulp of coffee- he's seen those weird studies that say don't mix caffeine and pills, but he'd done it plenty of times in college, so once or twice can't hurt.

"Thanks," Carisi says again, for lack of anything better to say.

"Mm." Barba says. "You guys make the only decent coffee within two blocks, so it's in my best interests to keep you around."

Carisi laughs. It makes his head twinge, but the painkiller and coffee is doing its job.

"Yeah, I'd say somethin' nice about your place, too, but I dunno flowers." He chuckles, and Barba levels a deadpan look at him.

"I'm not surprised." Barba says.

"Hey!" Carisi exclaims, then winces, because his own voice hurts his head. Lowering his voice, he says, "I'm, y'know, classy."

Barba looks at him.

"Sure." He doesn't sound convinced. Carisi frowns.

"Seriously." Carisi insists. "Any fancy coffee-drink you can think of, I can make it. I might not know flowers, but I know coffee-"

The bell above the door jingles, and Dodds walks back in.

"Hey." He says, interrupting Carisi and Barba's stare-off. "Clothes, Carisi."

He tosses a change of clothes to Carisi behind the counter- light blue, standard collared shirt, and black slacks- and strides off to the bathroom to change.

"God." Carisi groans. "Dodds' clothes are too big."

Barba's avoiding his eyes. He looks like he has something on the tip of his tongue, but doesn't want to spit it out. Carisi glances at him, then away again.

Dodds comes back out of the bathroom.

"Is there coffee?" He mutters. "My head hurts."

"Yeah, and painkillers, courtesy of Barba." Carisi gestures at the counter, where Dodds' usual- milk coffee with hazelnut- sits next to the little white bottle Barba had brought.

"Thanks, Barba." Dodds sighs. Carisi takes his turn changing in the bathroom, tries as hard as he can to tuck the shirt into the pants, even though it's still too baggy, and washes his face again.

He walks back out to see Barba draining the rest of his coffee, saying he has to go- something about flowers and Carmen arriving soon, which Carisi remembers suddenly is the florist's frontwoman's name- and waves him out the door and into the dark street, watching the warm front of his shop light up.

"Y'know, he stopped chatting when you went to change." Dodds remarks. "Should I be offended?"

Carisi scowls at him.

~~~~~~

It's not until later that Carisi remembers he had never told Barba his name, yet the other man had addressed him as "Carisi". Despite Rollins not naming names in the note.

Maybe Olivia had mentioned him. He tries to let it go.

~~~~~~

Noon can't come fast enough.

"Fuck you," Sonny says. Rollins laughs at him.

"Hey, you fell asleep halfway down the street." She snorts. "I don't know where your apartment is, what am I supposed to do?"

"Dodds' apartment is only, like, three blocks from here, you know." He grumbles. "You coulda dropped me there."

"I didn't know that." Rollins shrugs, still smiling.

"Not funny." Carisi crosses his arms.

~~~~~~

Carisi isn't working morning shift the next day, so he sleeps in, restocks his fridge, goes for a run- his apartment is empty, but whenever he wants company, he goes to the coffeehouse or Bella's apartment. Or, hell, Staten Island.

He walks into the coffeehouse for his afternoon shift markedly less tired, without a headache. Rollins tells him to wipe the dopey grin off his face.

"That's just how my face is," Carisi protests.

Rollins and Fin take off, and it's up to Carisi and Dodds again.

It's a slow hour. By 3 pm, the lunch rush is over, and Carisi leans over the counter, chewing on a toothpick.

The bel jingles again, and Carisi looks up- it's Carmen, looking gorgeous as ever.

"Hey, Carmen." Dodds says.

"Hey, Mike." She smiles. "Two coffees, please, the usual."

Carisi starts on Carmen's regular immediately- black, strong, sweet with vanilla syrup for winter, and something iced, blended, minty in the summer- but hovers over Barba's. He thinks to their conversation yesterday.

"Carmen." Carisi says, looking at her. "Think Barba would kill me if I changed his order up a bit?"

Carmen looks at him.

"It's your grave." She shrugs, smiling. Carisi laughs.

"My treat. In case he gets grumpy over it." He says, and now that he's been given free reign, he scrawls Barba's name on a cup and thinks it over. Barba orders non-sweetened with frothed milk every time, which smacks of someone who hates to lose routine. He decides to find a happy medium. The same dark roast Barba prefers, a light pump of mint syrup, hot milk, and whipped cream- nothing complicated, but enough to test the waters of change. He caps it and smiles to himself.

~~~~~~

Carmen comes back twenty minutes later with a note.

"A note?" Carisi says incredulously. "What is he, five?"

Carmen rolls her eyes.

"You're lucky it's slow at the shop, and I agreed to deliver it." She sighs. "I'm not an errand girl."

"Right." Carisi says. "Muffin? My treat."

He's been buying a lot of stuff for the flower shop across the street recently. He tries not to think about it, or the hit his paycheck's gonna take.

Then again, working at Liv's shop has better pay than most coffee shops around the city.

~~~~~~

Carisi,

I don't know what compelled you to change my order. It wasn't objectionable. Free coffee is certainly not objectionable.

Barba [phone]

~~~~~~

Carisi texts Barba later that day.

"Not objectionable?" he says.

"Carisi." Barba replies.

"Am I the last one to get your number?" Carisi asks.

"Except for Dodds." Barba says. "Rollins texts me when there's spare scones."

"Sweet of her." Carisi laughs.

~~~~~~

The next day, Carisi's working morning again. He sees Barba pulling his carts and displays out to the front again, explosions of color muted in the navy blue of the early morning.

Dodds sets another pan of cookies on the counter, moving them to the glass display case. Carisi inhales blissfully. His hand sneaks over to the tray.

"Hey." Dodds glares at him.

Carisi scoffs.

When he looks up again, Barba is looking directly into the window, at them. He raises his hand and waves. Barba doesn't wave back, but turns back to his flowers. Carisi wonders what it would be like to get a bouquet from Barba.

~~~~~~

Carmen comes in a little before noon, before Rollins comes to relieve Carisi, and he tries not to jump like he's been waiting for her.

"Hey, Carmen!" He exclaims, grinning.

"Carisi." Carmen smiles wryly. "You should've seen the look on Mr. Barba's face when he tasted your drink."

"You didn't tell him?" Carisi laughs.

She winks and shakes her head.

"Something new today?" She asks.

Carisi grins at her, and the noon rush is starting to come in but he wants to make Barba's drink, first. Today: caramel, chocolate, medium roast, frothed milk. It's nice to have someone he can guinea-pig his drinks on. He doesn't know by what twist of fate it's the hot florist from across the street, who, a week ago, didn't even know his name.

~~~~~~

"Decent." Barba texts. "Needs more of a kick."

Carisi snorts.

"Spicy?" He replies. "Didn't take you for that kinda guy, Barba."

~~~~~~

The next day: horchata mocha coffee with cinnamon and a dash of chili powder after browsing the internet for mexican mole recipes.

The day after that: mango, passionfruit, hazelnut. The sweetest yet, but Barba doesn't complain. He has a sweet tooth, according to Carmen.

And after that: honey, blueberry syrup, classic dark roast. It smells like flowers and coffee, and Carisi almost laughs, wondering if Barba can even smell it because he spends all day with his flowers.

~~~~~~

"Why don't you send him something back, boss?" Carmen smiles. Barba scoffs.

"It's nothing." He says. "A convenient arrangement. Besides, I'm pretty sure he's seeing Dodds."

Carmen pauses.

"Dodds." She says. She follows Barba's motions with her eyes.

~~~~~~

Two weeks of exchanging coffee and texts, and Carisi's been watching Barba from the window of the shop every morning he's on duty. He props his cheek up on his palm. At least Liv's back from vacation, pushing paper in her office. Fin sucks at managing finances.

"Jesus." Dodds comes up behind him, covered in flour as always. "Just ask him out, Carisi. This is getting painful."

"Hey." Carisi protests. "You took, like, a month to ask Alice to marry you."

"Yeah, because that's a lifelong commitment, not 'hey, wanna get coffee somewhere that's not here?'" Dodds deadpans.

Carisi sighs.

"As if." He bites into a scone.

Dodds glances at him.

"He's a single florist." He says incredulously. "Carisi-"

"Alright, alright. Jeez," Carisi interrupts, standing up and waving his hands at Dodds, "if you're giving me advice, my life must really suck."

~~~~~~

"Barba thinks what?" Dodds says, shaking his head. "Jesus, he and Carisi are a perfect match. Can't read the situation at all."

Carmen shrugs.

"That's my boss," she says, heaving a sigh. "He keeps shooting down people who insist on using weirdly obscure flower language in their bouquets, because it looks awful."

Dodds snorts.

"Well." He replies. "Tell Barba that I'm happily engaged, thank you very much."

~~~~~~

Barba comes in to get his coffee in person, one day.

"Barba." Liv says, behind the counter. "Where's Carmen? The usual?"

Barba blinks.

"Liv." He says. "Carisi usually works Monday mornings."

Benson narrows her eyes.

"Good morning to you, too." She says, a smile sliding up her face. "Looking for Carisi?"

"Not in particular." Barba lies.

"Dodds tells me you get along well." She continues.

"He's mistaken." Barba grumbles. "No need for him to get jealous."

Benson frowns.

"Jealous?" She asks.

"Aren't they together?" He snorts.

She bites back a laugh.

"Dodds? And Carisi?" She can't stifle her chuckling. "Barba, you know Dodds has been engaged for around three months, right?"

Barba blinks.

"Dodds and Carisi are engaged?" He asks, and Benson levels a disbelieving look at him.

"I don't know how you can pull out all those fancy rhetoric explaining why our street should get re-paved, but not have a social bone in your body." She sighs. It's not even that he's bad with people- Barba just doesn't like them. He's abrasive and snippy. He could be a real force to be reckoned with if he put in his pound of flesh with societal niceties.

Barba stares at her. He's drawn the conclusion himself.

"Carisi took a sick day." Benson smiles. "He has the flu."

~~~~~~

"The flu?" Barba texts.

"Worried about me?" Carisi replies within ten minutes.

"Sure." Barba says, sarcastic. "Maybe I'll go ballroom dancing with a panda tomorrow, while we're on the subject of unrealistic situations."

"Categorical denial, Barba?" Carisi laughs. "Thou dost protest too much..."

"Didn't know you could read classics." Barba snarks. "Out of character?"

"Offensive." Carisi replies. "I'm very educated, thank you."

~~~~~~

"I think Barba likes you." Rollins raises her eyebrows at Carisi.

"Fat chance." Carisi scoffs, wiping down the counter, ignoring how the idea makes his heart flutter in his chest. Rollins has taken Dodds' shift today, because she wanted the overtime. "Besides, how d'ya know he's not straight?"

Rollins looks at him.

"I'm going to forget you said that, because I don't believe in stupid questions." She says. "And it took me, what, three months for him to even work with me? A week after he starts talking to you, you're texting and making him custom coffee."

"Hey, I offered to make you guys custom coffee too." Carisi objects.

"Just go for it." Rollins tilts her head to the side. "Maybe if Barba were getting it on a regular basis, he'd be less pissy."

"Jesus, Rollins." Carisi groans.

Rollins puts her hands up in a gesture of surrender.

"I'm just saying!" She exclaims, smiling. "I've been here since he moved into the shop. He's never dated, never comes to street hangouts, doesn't socialize with the neighbors unless he gets something out of it. And now," she shrugs, "he texts you for coffee every day."

~~~~~~

When Carisi comes in to open up the next day, there's a vase of flowers on the counter.

"Uh." Carisi says. "Dodds?"

"Yeah." Dodds calls from the back room, where he's making the dough again.

"Where did these come from?" Carisi asks hesitantly. He locks he door behind him.

Dodds pokes his head out of the doorway to the back room.

"Barba dropped them off." He says. "Says he felt bad about getting free coffee all the time."

Carisi scoffs.

"Sure." He unlocks the register. "Barba, feeling guilty about something."

"Unless you want to believe there's another reason." Dodds says, and there's a light tone to his voice. Carisi scowls.

"Lay off." He mutters. The flowers are poking out of a blue ceramic water pitcher Carisi remembers seeing in the storage closet- Dodds must have gotten it out. Sunflowers and ivy and tiny white dewdrops.

~~~~~~

"Thanks for the flowers." Carisi messages. "Unusually generous."

"Unusually?" Barba replies within five minutes. "Should I be offended?"

"Didn't you call yourself an 'antisocial hobgoblin'?" Carisi texts, even though he knows Rollins is the one who brought that up.

Barba doesn't respond.

~~~~~~

Carisi doesn't wait for Carmen that day. Two coffees in hand, he hovers outside the doorway, taking in the colors of the blossoms.

There's a bell above the door. It jingles when he enters.

"I'll be right with you." Barba's voice comes from the back of the room.

"Uh, yeah, no rush." Carisi calls out. The interior of the shop is warm, with winter sunlight flooding in from the front windows, walls painted a light green. Every surface inside the room is covered in bursting blooms of every color.

Barba's head pokes out of behind a row of orange and white flowers.

"Carisi?" He says. "What are you doing here?"

"Uh, Liv sent me over to bring coffee." He says, and that's not technically a lie. "She said it's on her today."

"Fantastic." Barba gets up from kneeling on the floor, and god, he is cute in an apron, but Carisi shakes himself before the thought can go any further. "The usual, or one of your concoctions?"

Carisi laughs.

"She made it herself." He says. "Said she almost forgot how to use the machine, between moving up to co-owning the cafe and being on vacation."

"A classic Benson brew." Barba sighs in relief, taking the cup. "Is that for Carmen?"

"Yeah, I made it, thought she might want a pick-me-up too." Carisi replies, looking around. "She out?"

"Making a delivery across town." Barba says, taking a sip.

Carisi shifts weight between his feet.

"So," he says.

Barba looks up.

"Hmm?" He asks.

"I heard you like Broadway," Carisi starts awkwardly. This is an awful, awful idea.

"Occasionally." Barba doesn't give anything away, setting his coffee down and fiddling with what looks like a bouquet-in-progress. It reminds Carisi of a creamsicle, or something, bright orange and soft white petals, accented with greenery.

"Hey, that's cool, New York City and all that." Carisi blusters, and he doesn't know why he's tripping over his words now. Maybe something of what Rollins said yesterday's gotten into his head.

~~~~~~

"What are you doing?" Rollins asks. The door to the bakery in the back room is propped open by a bag of sugar, and Rollins is wrist-deep in a bowl of cookie dough.

"Concentrating." Sonny says, biting on his tongue, trying to remember if he's getting the pour-over technique right. He's a barista, for god's sake, he should be able to do a simple pour-over, but the fact that they have a perfectly good machine combined with his nervousness over trying something even more new with Barba's coffee is starting to get to him.

"That's some hipster shit," Rollins says.

"Yeah, no kiddin'." Carisi mutters. "It's not like we work in a coffeehouse, Rollins."

Rollins shrugs, kneads her dough a little more before turning the bowl upside down onto the stainless steel countertop and dumping it out in a lump, rifling around in the shelf under the counter for the rolling pin.

"Where the hell does Dodds keep hiding the rolling pins?" She complains. She's justified. Dodds has the weirdest habit of rearranging kitchen supplies.

"Try the cabinet above the sink." Carisi suggests, not looking up, arm moving in consistent circles. "Think I should try cold brew this summer?"

"Sure." Rollins says distantly, and there's a banging sound from where she's acting on Carisi's suggestion. "Our clients are hipsters, right? That seems like it would go over well."

"Not so loud, Jesus." Carisi hisses, glancing at the clientele. "Even New Yorkers can hear you talkin' shit about them."

Rollins covers her mouth and shrugs, grinning. Carisi rolls his eyes.

"Anyways." He says, finishing with his pour-over, sighing. "Think I should go with almonds and cream today, or something else?"

"Fancy coffee for Barba again?" Rollins asks. "Why don't you just invite him in here? You could make something other than the standard grande cup size."

Carisi folds his arms across his chest.

"Yeah, that would go well." He snarks. "Hey, Barba, want to come hang out with me? What am I, seven?"

"Carisi, I'm pretty sure that guy would do anything for free coffee." Rollins deadpans.

"That makes it worse." Carisi says, morose. "What if he's just using me for my sweet, sweet access to unlimited caffeine?"

Rollins snorts.

"Yeah, like he needs you for that." She replies. "He's, like, best friends with Liv already."

"Best friends?" Carisi sighs.

Rollins walks over and kicks him in the shin. He yelps.

"Hey!" He shouts. Several customers look up at them but, in true New Yorker fashion, return to their business.

"I'd pat you on the shoulder, but," Rollins trails off, wiggling her sticky fingers in the air. Carisi rolls his eyes and makes a shooing motion.

"Yeah, yeah." He grumbles. "Anyone ever tell you you and Amaro make a great pair? You can go to anger management classes together."

"Hey, what did I say?" Rollins jostles him again. "Me and Nick are over. Never again. He's back with his wife, anyways."

"Sure." Carisi says. Rollins' love life is... enigmatic, and it's best not to fall down that rabbit hole, he's discovered. "I'll take your great advice, Love Doctor Rollins."

Rollins glares good-naturedly at him.

"Don't get sarcastic with me," she scowls. "Anyways, your moping over Barba is getting weird. Just ask him to hang out, Carisi. This isn't high school."

"Barba's an intimidating guy," Carisi replies helplessly.

~~~~~~

Carisi does, though, try to take her advice.

"Want to drop by the shop?" He texts. "Made too much espresso."

"You had me at 'too much espresso'." Barba replies within a minute. Within five minutes, he's wiping his hands on a paper towel and stepping out of the flower shop, untying his apron from the back. Carisi has strategically sent this message around the time he knows Barba and Carmen usually finish straightening up the shop and business lulls. He watches Barba make his way across the narrow street, slotting his hands in the pockets of his coat to keep out the chill.

"Hey, Barba." Carisi says when the bell's sound heralds the other man's opening the door.

"Carisi." Barba says. His nose is pink. It's cute enough to make Carisi flush.

Rollins pokes her head out of the bakery.

"Barba's here?" She exclaims. "You really are whipped, Barba. Carisi, this guy only comes over for free scones."

"And free coffee, thank you." Barba smirks. Carisi wants to choke Amanda with his tie. Just a little.

"Ah, yeah, thanks for comin'." He says instead, adopting a bashful expression. "I was testing some new drinks and it... got out of hand."

He gestures to the twelve cups of varying sizes and shapes scattered around the counter.

Barba raises an eyebrow.

"Just a bit." He chuckles, and Carisi thinks the ridiculousness is worth it to bring a smile to Barba's face. In the next moment, he mentally slaps himself, because that's the stupidest, sappiest, most overreaching thought he's ever had, and he kinda wishes he could scoop out his own brain with a melon baller, but he pushes everything aside and hands Barba a cup.

~~~~~~~

"Barba dropped off flowers for you again," texts Dodds.

"They're not for me," Carisi grumbles, but his chest tightens anyways.

"I don't know why he won't bring them over while you're here," Dodds sighs.

"Because they're not for me," Carisi repeats.

"Take it from an almost-married man," Dodds starts, and the typing symbol stops, and starts, and stops again. Carisi decides to put Dodds out of his misery.

"Alright, alright," he groans, "don't rub it in my face."

~~~~~~

It's almost by fate that Carisi comes into possession of a pair of Broadway tickets.

It's a popular show, Carisi knows, and decent seats, so they can't have been cheap, but when Gina and her newest high-class boyfriend say that they don't need them anymore because they've booked a last minute weeklong getaway to Hawaii, or something. Gina had pressed them in his hand 'cause neither Bella nor Teresa care about musicals in the slightest, and one of the most painful periods of Sonny's life had been his secondary leading role in his high school play.

"Hey, Barba." Carisi writes. "Heard you like Broadway."

He deletes it.

"I have some tickets to a play," he writes, "do you want to come with me?"

He deletes it.

"If I take you to a play, would you let me call you Rafael?" He writes.

He deletes it.

"I wish the flowers you bring to the coffeehouse were for me," he writes.

He deletes it.

God, Carisi thinks. Forget high school. This is the most shameful period of his life.

~~~~~~

"Hey, Carmen." Carisi strikes up conversation, pouring her and Barba's drinks. Double espresso, a splash of half-and-half, a teaspoon of raw sugar, frothed milk. "D'yknow if Barba's seen that hit new Broadway show?"

Carmen looks at him.

"I don't think so." She says. "He mentioned wanting to see it, but not having the time."

Carisi hands her the coffees.

"Have... you been paying for Barba's coffee this whole time?" She asks, laughing, handing him the change for her drink. She insists on paying for herself. Carisi flushes.

"No." He says. "I mean, I have an employee discount, and it's not that much, and sometimes Liv says don't worry about it, 'cause she owns the place and she's cool with it and she buys him coffee too, sometimes-"

Carmen holds her coffee-filled hands up in surrender.

"Alright, alright." She chuckles. "I'll... surreptitiously ask if Mr. Barba wants to go see that show with you."

"I- I didn't mean." Carisi says miserably. Carmen turns and walks out, still smiling. Carisi wants to die, just a little.

~~~~~~

Ten minutes later, Carisi gets a text.

"He hasn't seen it," Carmen says.

"..." Carisi sends.

A pause.

"Thanks, Carmen." He says.

~~~~~~

Carisi doesn't know what Carmen has told Barba, but Barba pushes open the coffeehouse door with his arms bursting with flowers. Carisi blinks.

"Barba?" He says.

Barba stares at him.

"This might be overkill," Barba says to himself, like he thinks Carisi can't hear. He almost turns around.

"Uh, are those for the shop?" Carisi supplies.

Barba looks back at him.

"...yes." He says. "Yes, I mean, you keep buying me coffee. Yes. These are for... the shop."

Barba sounds... off. His eyes are a little wide, a little wild.

Carisi frowns.

"Are you alright, Barba?" He asks, and it's lucky that it's slow right now, coming off of the noon rush. Carisi steps around the counter and takes some of the flowers from Barba's arms- they really are gorgeous, health clips of every color, ivy spilling out from his elbows.

Barba's face has gone pink. He's still wearing his apron. Carisi is hit with the sudden urge to pull on the strings.

"I-I'm fine." Barba says in a rush.

"Uh, alright." Carisi says. "Here, I think we have some vases-"

One arm full of flowers, Carisi makes his way to the supply cabinet, pulling out half-a-dozen odd ceramic pitchers of all colors and shapes, pulling the blossoms into bunches and slotting them in the makeshift vases, filling each with water. Barba follows him uncharacteristically quietly behind the counter.

"They're beautiful." Carisi says.

"Yes, they are," Barba agrees, looking at the jumbles of brightly hued flora bursting from every available container.

Carisi turns to him.

"Hey, Barba." He starts, his mouth moving ahead of his brain, like it always does, like he doesn't even know what he's doing before he's doing it. "I got tickets for that musical this weekend, d'ya wanna come with me?"

Barba stares at him.

"The- the one on Broadway?" He asks.

"Yeah." Carisi says, mussing his hair self-consciously. "My sister got 'em, and-"

"Sure." Barba interrupts him, still watching him. Carisi blinks, dumbfounded.

"Really?" He says, giddiness starting to swell sweetly in his chest.

Barba breaks eye contact. He huffs, glances back at Carisi and away again.

"Yes." He replies. "I've been meaning to go, anyways, and it's not like your coffee is half-bad-"

"Wait," Carisi is the one to interrupt, "Barba, you know I'm asking you on a date, right?"

Barba chokes.

"I-" He starts, and seems to think better of it, breaking out into incredulous chuckles. "You're unique, Carisi."

"You brought me flowers," Carisi says helplessly.

"Pick me up at six," Barba smiles.

~~~~~~

Barba looks good.

Carisi blinks.

Barba tugs on the edge of his cuff, and he has the kinds of shirts that need cufflinks- Carisi suddenly feels self-conscious in his off-the-rack suit.

"How d'you afford your wardrobe on a florist's salary?" He wonders aloud, and Barba snorts.

"Should I be flattered or offended?" Barba asks, straightening his tie, and Carisi flushes in embarrassment.

"Uh." He starts. "Flattered?"

Barba levels him with a look. Carisi laughs.

"You look good," he says.

"I know I do," Barba says.

Carisi might have felt self-conscious, but Barba walks right up next to him, glances up into his eyes, and brushes down his lapel, taps him on the elbow, and they catch a cab to the theater.

#barisi #rafael barba #dominick carisi #sonny carisi #law and order svu #svu #mine #my writing #THIS IS FROM LIKE MONTHS AGO ghsdkflsk i forgot to put all this stuff on tumblr lmao