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merihn · 2 years

Note

88 + lalexie in a 'Luke definitely has no feelings for his ex and his ex's new boyfriend, nooooooo, none at all' way? <3

This got a little long, and a little spicy, so I put it under a read more. Nothing really happens but there's spicy talk and thoughts.

Willie looks far too amused, and Luke hates the way that makes him feel, like he has to prove himself.

"I'll kiss you right now to prove I don't feel anything for you," he declares, watching Alex's face turn pink. Willie raises an eyebrow, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"Will you?" he murmurs, and Luke feels his face flush.

"Well, what do you want from me? I can say it until I'm blue in the face and you'll just keep looking at me with that stupid expression on your stupid face." Luke swallows against the rage rising in his chest. He shouldn't have to say any of this. It's completely ridiculous. Willie has no idea what he's talking about.

"I—Um," Alex stutters, shoving his hands in his hoodie pocket, "do I get a say in any of this?"

"Shh," Willie hushes him with a glance. Luke hadn't realized the weight of his gaze until it was gone. He inhales sharply.

"I suppose you'd better, then," Willie says after a long moment, pinning Luke with his stare again. Luke is reminded of the butterfly exhibit they'd gone to once, hundreds of tiny bodies skewered into display cases. Trapped forever.

"I—" he can't back down now, but his whole body is tensed to run, begging him to get out of here, to get as far away as possible. "Alex?"

Alex looks back at him, and for what feels like the first time since they became friends, Luke can't read his expression.

"Fine," Alex says, resigned, and more than anything, that spurs Luke to step forward. He'll prove it to both of them and then Willie can shut the hell up.

His heart is pounding so hard he's starting to feel a little sick with it, but he forges on anyway, reaching up to curl his fingers over Alex's cheeks.

Alex automatically grabs his hips, and Luke is forcibly reminded of the last time they did this; he was sad and heartsore, and Alex looked so devastated he almost couldn't go through with it. That last soft kiss stayed with him, tucked somewhere under his heart. But they finally agreed that it would be best if they went back to being only friends.

Luke shakes that away and stares Alex determinedly in the eye, then presses up onto his toes as he drags Alex down and connects their lips.

For a brief moment he's sure he's right, there's nothing here but friendship and he can't wait to throw it in Willie's stupid smug face, but then Alex's fingers are hooking tightly around his hips and yanking him closer, his mouth opening to send a wash of his sweet breath over Luke's lips, and Luke doesn't even register opening his own before Alex's tongue is in his mouth.

He should be pulling away, this isn't meant to be happening. But he's powerless, surrendering under the weight of Alex's clever mouth. He knows every inch of Luke, knows just how he likes his bottom lip nipped before it's kissed better, soft and slick. Knows how Luke likes the pain of too tight hands on his skin as Alex's fingers dig bruises into the space between his hip bones and spine. Knows how Luke melts when Alex pushes his tongue in deep, like he's trying to fuck him with it, like he's doing right now.

Luke could still brazen this out, even though he's making undignified noises straight into Alex's mouth. He can pull away right now and tell them he feels nothing. Alex is a great kisser but that's it.

But he can't seem to make himself let go and step back, can't stop his hands sliding into Alex's hair and holding on tight, keeping Alex's mouth on his. Can't stop sucking on Alex's tongue like he wishes it was something else, letting Alex guide his hips into a rolling rhythm against his own.

Alex is the one that finally breaks the kiss, and he's panting like he just run several miles, his mouth shiny red and swollen, his irises the barest thread of green around his blown pupils.

"Holy fuck," Willie breathes, and Luke jerks back, his fingers tangling in Alex's hair as he tries to get away.

"Ow, fuck. Stop moving," Alex orders, releasing Luke's hips to reach up and untangle his hands. At least it gives him a moment to compose himself, to remember why he was kissing Alex in the first place, what he has to prove.

"Fuck, are you really going to try to tell me you feel nothing more than friendship after that?" Willie says, and Luke can feel the heat of him as he steps up behind Luke, placing his hands exactly where Alex's were just moments ago. He squeezes and Luke hisses.

Willie nuzzles at his throat and squeezes again. "I think you know you made a mistake when you pushed Alex away. I think you've been hoping and wishing all these years that you could go back and fix it. I bet it kills you inside to see us together."

"Fuck you," Luke spits, and his fingers are finally free from Alex's hair, but Alex won't let go. His fingers are tight bracelets around Luke's wrists.

"I'm not trying to hurt you, Luke. I just want you to admit it."

"Fine. Fine. I love him and I miss him and that was the best kiss I've had in years."

He stares at Alex's fluttering pulse point so he doesn't have to see what's going on in his eyes, and Willie makes an approving noise and slides his fingers over Luke's jaw to turn his head.

"It was the hottest fucking thing I've ever seen," Willie murmurs. "Can I kiss you too?"

"Fuck," Luke grunts, and he's trapped between the two of them, he can't turn around. He twists just a little more, and Willie's mouth is skidding over his, and his fingers are too tight on Luke's jaw, just the way he likes.

Then there's a hot mouth on his throat, and Alex's big hands are on his hips again, and Willie's pushing his tongue into Luke's mouth, and it's just so much.

He groans into Willie's mouth and presses his hips against Alex's, and his hands are clutching at Alex's shoulders, hanging on as best he can.

"Fuck Luke, will you stay? Will you stay with us?" Willie bites the words into Luke's mouth, nips at his lips and leaves the words in the impression of his teeth.

Luke can't breathe, can't think, can't even begin to process what Willie is saying, but he says yes anyway, reaching back to grab a fistful of Willie's hair, yanking him over his shoulder to deepen the kiss.

"I should have never let you do it," Alex is mumbling into the thin skin of his throat, scraping his teeth over the tendon before biting down sharply. Luke cries out, muffled by Willie's mouth. He wraps his leg around Alex's hips and rubs against him, frantic and messy.

"Fuck. Okay, stop." Willie pulls back, tugs Luke with him until Alex releases him. "We can't do this here."

Luke looks around; he'd forgotten where he was.

"Why not? We used to do it in here all the time," Alex says, and Willie groans again.

"Yeah? Did you fuck him on that couch, Alex? Did he get on his knees behind your kit and suck you 'til you came down his throat?" Willie's voice is transformed by lust, throaty and deep, and Luke is overcome by the need to know what he sounds like when he comes.

"Yeah," Alex breathes, and Luke shivers in Willie's arms.

"Show me."

#julie and the phantoms #slightly spicy #willex #lalexie #my fic #jatp #different kisses prompts #this got to 1200 words even though i gave up on trying to write a proper beginning #wtf

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missjanjie · 11 months

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“how mad would you be if i kissed you?” for Lalexis 🙏

The van was stalled with a flat tire while the queens were waiting to return to the hotel after a full day of filming. They were tired, bored, trying to keep busy without getting in too much trouble. In one row, Lala and Alexis were sitting and, on a whim, Alexis turned and asked, “how mad would you be if I kissed you?”

“Mad in what sense?” Lala asked with an arched brow, crossing one leg over the other and perching his hands on his knee.

Alexis furrowed his brows. “Elaborate?”

“Mad like angry or mad like, ‘oh I’m mad about you’?”

He laughed. “I think you’re fucking with me and know what I meant,” he accused.

Lala laughed and put his hands up in surrender.

“Okay, okay, you got me, I’m just fuckin’ with you.” But then came the task of addressing the question. “Dunno, like a three? Just ‘cause I don’t wanna get yelled at for not being on hard ice.”

Alexis nodded as if to say ‘fair enough’ as he mulled over his next course of action. His thoughts were interrupted by a PA popping their head back in to inform them that they would be waiting another ten minutes or so and stepped back off the van. “Fuck it, I’ll take those odds,” he decided and leaned over to kiss Lala. It was quick but deep, enough to show his intent without drawing too much attention.

And Lala kissed back, a mix of curiosity and piqued interest winning out. It was nice, pleasant. It had been longer than he would like to admit since he had last been kissed, and he would be lying if he claimed to not enjoy the attention he had been getting from the other queen. He was more than a little attracted to Alexis, but he couldn’t help himself – playing hard to get was fun.

“Was that okay?” he asked.

He smiled and nodded, leaning in and pecking his lips chastely. “You cute when you flustered,” he teased, “it was more than okay.”

#lalexis #shother #side note: i have no idea how long it takes to change a flat tire just go w it

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anthonyjlockwood · 2 years

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4. “I don’t want you to go.” “Then I won’t.” for Alex/Luke/Willie? Or just Luke/Willie if you prefer.

omg alex i'm sorry this took ✨forever✨ and is so bad

but, here you go 💕

Alex is used to not being able to get everything he wants.

Supportive parents, for one. Peace and quiet, a slightly better grade in math class— he knows he can’t have it all.

Which is why he’s grateful for what he does have. He tries to focus on the positives instead of the negatives. The stuff he can call his, instead of the stuff that’s off-limits.

And one of those off-limits things is Luke Patterson.

When Alex met Luke, he thought he was one of the most annoying people in the world. And he loved him for it— he still does. Alex’s life wouldn’t be the same without Luke’s loud laugh, impulsive behavior, and killer instincts for music, artistry, and troublemaking.

And maybe, just maybe, there’s a little space in Alex’s heart that’s reserved for Luke alone. One that’s never been filled, just barely satiated by the friendship Alex has been lucky to hold onto for all this time.

The something more he’s refusing to let himself want is another thing entirely.

He can’t want it, because that space in his heart that he used to think would only ever be Luke’s has an occupant now, another very loud, very impulsive, funny, caring skateboarder. With scratches on his knees and dimples on his cheeks and long hair that Alex loves running his fingers through.

Alex loves Willie. Willie’s not some substitute for the life that Alex can’t have with Luke. Willie is everything; he completes Alex in a way that no one else could, and it’s all fine. It’s all great.

Except part of his heart is still aching for something.

He doesn’t know why. It’s not like he’s lacking anything; if anything, his heart’s bursting at the seams with love and appreciation for things he’d never thought he’d get. He has friends that love him – that have taken the place of family – and he has Willie, a love that he was always convinced he wouldn’t ever be worthy enough to call his. It’s ridiculous – borderline ungrateful – that he’s thinking about Luke when he has all this. In the quiet of nighttime, when Willie’s arms are wrapped around him, his warm breath against Alex’s neck, all Alex can think about is how there’s still room on the bed for one more person.

It doesn’t really help that Willie seems to love Luke, too. Not like Alex does – but in the way Alex should, like the amazing friend Luke’s always been.

Some days, Alex hates himself for feeling this way. For not being able to fully invest himself in Willie because of the lingering feelings for Luke. So he always tries to just lose himself in Willie’s passion for life instead. He ignores what’s just under the surface, letting his very real, very profound love for Willie consume him until it’s hard to even think about anything else.

It isn’t difficult. Willie’s presence is loud and his laugh is contagious, and Alex feels so alive when he’s with him. He’s not missing anything. He has more than he deserves. So he just… forces it to be enough.

And he might have even been able to push the feelings for Luke down entirely, if not for a conversation Willie pulled him into against his will, one morning in early December.

“Do you think Luke’s hot?”

All of Alex’s words died in his throat; whatever he’d been about to say about their plans for the day just stuck there, and he choked for a moment as if he’d swallowed a whole lemon. Willie stared back at him, completely unphased, with that small, uncertain smile he uses when he wants something but isn’t really sure how to ask for it.

Alex stares at Willie in alarm, wondering how and when his method of using sarcastic commentary to hide his true feelings could have possibly failed him. And a small part of him melts with the knowledge that Willie could read him almost as easily as he could read Luke’s messy scrawls in his songbook — something that was supposed to be incomprehensible deciphered perfectly by just the right person.

Willie doesn’t seem to get discouraged by his boyfriend’s lack of response, though. Alex’s face seems to tell him all he needs to know. He huffs out a laugh, raising his eyebrows, waving a hand at Alex to call his attention back. “Hellooo? Babe, you there? I just asked a simple question…” his small smile turns into an impish grin as he continues, “didn’t mean to make you have what looks like another gay crisis over your best friend. I’ve seen him in all those cut-off tees, though. You’re totally valid.”

“Willie—“

“How long’s it been?” Willie asks, reaching forward to grab one of Alex’s hands in his, stopping him from nervously picking his cuticles. Alex jumps at the contact and pulls away from him, staring at him with wide, uncertain eyes.

“What do you—“

“I’m not upset, Alex, I promise,” Willie soothes. “I just wanna know.”

Alex’s eyes trail across Willie’s face, but they find nothing but understanding and concern. Willie’s looking back at him with so much love and trust – and, because it’s Willie, Alex can see a glint of amusement in them, too. But whatever it is about Willie that looks comforting and familiar stops there. Because aside from his eyes and his smile that he’s trying to play off as confident, Willie is otherwise still. And that’s a bad sign; Alex can’t even remember the last time Willie sat still. Not fidgeting with his own hands or Alex’s, not tapping his foot or jiggling his leg. Not readjusting his position three times a minute. Right now, Willie’s just staring at Alex, waiting for a response, and Alex can tell that whatever happens next depends exactly on what he says. It’s a lot of pressure, knowing that Willie’s normally unwavering happiness is fragile in his hands, like a glass orb that’s in danger of rolling right out of his grasp and shattering. Willie holds Alex up, and right now Alex is capable of completely breaking his heart. He’s never really been good with words. He’s never really been good with people – but, he keeps having to remind himself, Willie isn’t ‘people’. If there’s anybody that would understand Alex’s heart right now, when he’s so uncertain… it would be Willie.

But Alex also has plenty of experience with people not receiving his secrets well. His friends have been nothing but kind and understanding – something that his parents never were. And Willie has been by his side for as long as he cares to remember, with his own unwavering support. So why does Alex feel like he’s about to throw the both of them off the edge of a cliff without a parachute?

You’re wrong for feeling like this.

You’re going to break his heart.

It’s Willie, of course he’ll understand. He asked.

Finally, Alex squeezes his eyes shut tight and decides to take the plunge, hoping that he can at least be there to cushion Willie’s fall.

“Luke…” he swallows, pausing to look up at Willie, wanting to see his expression shift to betrayal and disgust — it’s nothing less than he deserves. “He’s been there— we’ve been through so much together. I… he’s just, always been around, you know? And… I’m not sure if we’d even work like that, but…” he takes a deep breath, finally breaking eye contact to look down at a stain on the sofa. “I love him.”

Alex loves Willie. He loves his stupidly long hair and his mismatched socks and the way he can make riding a skateboard look easy. He loves that Willie’s the most alive person he’s ever met. He loves that Willie is brave, and kind, and reckless.

And he really loves his boyfriend’s unpredictability— even though sometimes, it gives him headaches.

“I don’t blame you,” Willie grins. “Luke’s hot.”

Alex hits the ground.

Willie is still in his arms – and, instead of crashing hard against the Earth, they seem to have landed on a trampoline, heading right back up to the clouds.

Willie… doesn’t blame him? But – why did he even ask in the first place? How is he okay with any of this?

“You– you’re okay with it?” Alex’s breath gets caught in his throat as he chokes out, “wait, why– why are you even asking me that? Do you know something I don’t? Are you mad at me? Willie, I– this– I never meant for this to happen, I swear. You don’t have to pretend to be cool with me possibly liking my best friend. You’re allowed to be angry. You can leave, even. Dump me, ‘cause I don’t know what the hell I’m doing here and I’m probably just going to hurt you and–”

“You done telling me what I should do yet?”

Willie cuts Alex off, grabbing both his hands and rubbing his thumbs against the backs of them soothingly. But when Alex doesn’t relax, Willie’s smile fades.

“Alex, listen…”

His voice is more serious than Alex has ever heard it before, and it sends a slight shiver down his spine. He’s not used to things being solemn around Willie; the other boy has always known how to cheer Alex up, pull him out of a dark place. He always lightens the mood, brightens the room. It’s strange to see him so… patient. “If you think there’s something there, with Luke, I can’t tell you not to go for it. It wouldn’t be fair. You’ve known him way longer than me. He might even be better for you than me. He—“

“Willie, don’t say that,” Alex cuts him off. “I love you. I want to be with you.”

“You know…” he pauses, taking in a deep breath. “It’s possible to… want that with more than one person at a time.”

“Do we— do we have to unpack that right now?”

“If you want it with Luke, I just… I wouldn’t be against it, is all.” Willie’s smile is back, and the room’s lit up once again. Alex feels the relief drop down from his head to his toes, like he’s swallowed a mint after the worst dinner of his life. “Think about it, okay? Don’t sell yourself short. I’m gonna be around no matter what.”

“How are you so cool about this?”

“It’s like I said, Hot Dog,” Willie shrugs. “I don’t blame you. It’s Luke. There’s… a lot about Luke to like. He’s funny, and passionate, and talented, and you’ve known him for years. It makes sense.”

“It– it does?” Alex splutters.

“Of course it does.”

Then, because it is Willie, after all… “Plus, have you seen him without a shirt on? Damn.”

Alex never really gets a chance to think about his possible feelings for Luke after that. (Well, he gets plenty of chances, plenty of quiet moments where he could’ve allowed himself to be alone with his thoughts— but that feels like he’s heading straight into the path of a tornado, one that’s about to upend his life and make it completely different than it has been, and he doesn’t know if he’s going to land upright.)

Things with Willie are safe. They’re the same. They’re not risking happiness and safety and a decade-long friendship. So why can’t Alex just be happy with the way things are? He’s never been one to seek out change. So why are Willie’s words festering in the back of his head like an open wound? A wound that Luke himself is the medicine for? It doesn’t make any sense.

But all of that is destroyed one night, when he’s sitting on the couch in Bobby’s garage with Willie, enjoying the quiet of the late hours and the freedom to come and go from there as they please.

It’s interrupted by rustling of bushes and fumbling with the garage door, and a sniffling boy with a duffel bag over his shoulder. His eyes are panicked, and when he looks up Alex can see the tears pooling in them, too.

“I didn’t know where else to go.”

Luke looks more disheveled than Alex has ever seen him; his baggy shirt hangs off one shoulder, his hair’s messy even underneath his beanie. He’s restless; pacing in front of the garage door.

Alex exchanges a brief look of concern with Willie, and his boyfriend steps up to block Luke’s path.

“Hey,” Willie catches Luke’s arm gently as he blows past, and Luke stills. Willie leads him over to the couch, and Alex follows; they sit down, placing Luke between them. Luke relaxes into the cushions.

Alex watches him for a moment, making sure he’s not going to speak first.

“If you don’t know where else to go, you can always come find us.”

“But you were here first,” Luke croaks. “I’m always— always intruding. Always sticking my nose in where it doesn’t belong. You guys deserve your own time. Just because I couldn’t get along with my mom for one freaking night—“

“You’re not intruding,” Alex argues.

“You guys don’t wanna hear about how I couldn’t keep my shit together in front of my mom again.”

Luke looks down, avoiding eye contact by playing with the chain attached to his jeans. They sit in silence for a moment; the only sound is the jingling of the chain as Luke works it through his restless fingers.

Alex doesn’t know what to do. Normally he wouldn’t hold back – he’d want to get the story out of Luke, so that he could help Luke figure out what to do next. Alex might be pretty useless when it comes to parents, but one thing he definitely knows about is how to keep moving forward. Luke likes to brood and dwell on the past; and, worse, he prefers to do it without telling his friends anything. But Alex doesn’t like being left out, especially when his friends are having problems.

One glance over to Willie shows him that his boyfriend is thinking the same thing. Willie, though, usually hates conflict or confrontation of any sort – he’d be perfectly willing to let Luke brood instead of facing his wrath. His eyes are wide and uncertain as he stares at Alex, waiting for him to lead the three of them through… whatever this is.

“If you wanna talk about it,” Alex starts off slowly, “we do want to hear it, Luke.”

But talking isn’t something Luke likes to do. He prefers getting his feelings out through songs. Songs that he then plays off in their band rehearsals like they’re about nothing in particular at all. Showing them off, teaching his friends how to play them, focusing on the chord progressions and pretending the lyrics didn’t come from such a negative place in his mind. Conveniently ignoring the meanings behind them, in front of his bandmates, in favor of turning the negative into something positive. Something enjoyable.

Alex doesn’t work like that. He’s never even had a feeling he hasn’t had to thoroughly overanalyze. Willie doesn’t work that way either; he prefers reassurance, the knowledge that he’s not alone, and even guidance through the hard moments.

He just wants to get Luke to stay. For now, that’s what’s most important – that he’s safe, and that he’s here with two of the people who care most about him. Alex won’t push. As much as he wants to, he has to work at Luke’s pace.

He’s just opening his mouth to tell Luke they should watch a movie, or do some other distracting thing, when Luke moves to get up off the couch.

“I should probably just go.”

“No, Luke,” Willie cuts him off. “Stay with us. Please.”

Alex was prepared to argue, but instead he feels a swell of affection and pride as he realizes that, once again, he and Willie are on the same page. They both want Luke to stay. They both want Luke safe – and, the voice in the back of Alex’s head reminds him, that’s not all they want. But right now, it is the priority, and Alex is just glad that Willie’s able to focus on it.

Because all Alex wants to do right now is wrap Luke up in his arms and not let go.

“But you guys were totally fine until I came along and ruined things,” Luke says. “I totally crashed your date.”

“You didn’t ‘crash’ anything,” Alex shifts his position on the couch, leaning forward so that he can study Luke’s expression more closely through narrowed eyes. “Are you – is everything – did something happen? What happened?”

He doesn’t know how to tell Luke that he and Willie felt his absence every second until he came crashing through the door. All they could do was worry and miss him. Want to help but not know how— but now… now that Luke’s here, the three of them can work together. Luke might be upset, but the most important thing is that he’s safe, and Alex is glad for it.

“Just… another fight,” Luke shrugs. “With Mom. I had to get out. I’m… sorry for just showing up outta nowhere like this.”

“Luke, it’s okay,” Alex insists. “We… we want you here.”

“It feels… complete with you here,” Willie gets up off the couch and starts walking, slowly, over to where Luke is trembling by the garage door.

“We’ve just never been able to figure out how to tell you…” Willie doesn’t take his eyes off Luke, but Luke doesn’t speak. Alex’s eyes dart between the two of them – he’s afraid to move, afraid to say something to upset Luke, or make him leave… suddenly, he’s glad that Willie’s much better than he is in stressful situations.

“…and after a fight with your mom— it’s probably not a great time. Definitely not ideal. But I feel like I’m gonna burst like a piñata if I don’t— because now that you’re here—“

“We just want you to know we’re glad that you’re here,” Alex finally decides to cut in. “And… we really hope you stay.”

“It can just be… us three. Together,” Willie reaches out to grab Luke’s hand, and finally earns a small smile back. “Against the world, and all the shitty parents in it.”

“Luke, you belong here with us,” Alex says. “We don’t want you to go.”

Luke’s breath halts in his chest at the conviction in his tone; his inhale gets stuck in his throat and trembles its way out through his slightly open mouth.

“Then… I won’t.”

#julie and the phantoms #julie & the phantoms #jatp #jatp fanfiction #jatp fanfic #luke patterson #alex mercer #willie jatp #willie ortega #shelly's fics #lalexie

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wr0temyway0ut · 2 years

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Closer to the Heart

Summary: Luke really doesn’t mean to interrupt Alex and Willie’s date. It’s just that he forgot his notebook somewhere in the studio, and he has a really killer lyric that he needs to write down before he forgets it.

He’s really only planning to pop in and out, maybe say hi to Willie, and then be on his way. But the thing is, when Luke lands in the studio Alex and Willie are cuddled up on the couch, and Willie…

Willie is wearing Luke’s Rush cutoff.

Link in reblogs!

#my fic #jatp #julie and the phantoms #willie jatp #luke patterson #alex mercer #lalexie

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sunsetcurvecuddles · 3 years

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a new philosophy

luke/alex/willie | g | 2k | cuddling, touch-starved willie

Willie laughs which lights Luke’s chest up on the inside. If they were other, more normal, less screwed-up people, Luke might worry about whether his feelings are betraying Alex somehow. But he and Alex are just as inextricable. Luke can’t imagine Alex being angry about this; if anything, it only makes sense. Willie matters to Alex. The transmission of that caring was always going to happen one way or another.

Luke closes the distance. Putting his guitar down to the side, he leans over to rest his head on Willie’s shoulder. He feels, more than hears, Willie’s sharp intake of breath, the way Willie tenses and then goes gooey and soft.

ao3 link in the reblogs!

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #willex #lalexie #willexie #what tag are we using bruh #fanfic #luke patterson #alex mercer #willie jatp

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takeyourhedicine · 3 years

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Pieces of a Clock that Lies Broken by tastefullytightpants

Pairing: Alex/Willie/Luke

Rating: Teen, but subject to change

Chapters: 1/?

Words: 1k for chapter 1

“Alex! I brought a friend, this is -“

“Luke,” Alex finished for him, coldly.

“You two know each other?” Willie asked apprehensively, immediately sensing the tension.

“Um, barely,” Luke lied, still fighting the urge to just bolt.

Or, Luke and Alex had a falling out that caused Sunset Curve to break up. Several years later, Luke goes to college at his parent's insistence and meets Willie...and his boyfriend Alex.

For @nuandia for the @jatpgiftexchange !

I am so sorry it’s not finished yet but please feel free to pester me until it is!!

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #my fic #luwillex #lalexie #willex #lalex #jatp gift exchange

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malecacidd · 3 years

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Alex, trying to ask Willie out: Do you want to stay for dinner?

Luke: DO YOU WANT TO STAY FOREVER

#some lalexie for the soul #lalexie #jatp #julie and the phantoms #jatp incorrect quotes

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stellarspecter · 3 years

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Hey is there like an alex/luke/reggie ship name? bc I haven't seen one around and all of the actual name combinations I can think of kind of suck. we can't call them sunset curve ot3 bc of bobby. maybe phantom ot3/trio? idk pls add on ur ship name ideas I think we should decide on one

#jatp #julie and the phantoms #the ship named for the boys arent very good lol. like peterpatter is cute but lalex and ruke and leggie (idk if anyone used that lol) bad #and like. lalexie? rukex? raluke? these are bad. who decided to name a teenager reginald #so we'll probs have to go for one of those ship names where its not their names #i suggested phantom trio bc they are the titular phantoms but we do know other ghosts so thats not foolproof #i think mercerpeterpatter is far too long and idk another good way to use the last names lol #but yeah id love to establish a ship name here! creating ship names for ot3s is my passion apparently lmao #but at least meremine all had at least two syllables in their names. these guys? they're really letting me down here #i cant do name punnett squares with luke. like come on dude #*speaks

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floating-in-the-blue · 1 year

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My internal debate about posting my prompt ficlets to AO3:

Me: is anyone really interested in reading 5 sentence prompt fills and other mini ficlets on AO3?

Me: Maybe not but it is my writing and AO3 is an archive so it'd be nice to have them there anyway

Me: okay but I don't like those massive prompt collections with ALL the ships in one collections so I'll try to sort my prompt ficlets into ship categories and make a lil collection for each so the people liking that ship can check it out

Me: Okay, sounds like a good plan *sorts prompt ficlets*

Me: ... I now need to come up with five titles for these collections ... that are kind of non-specific but also won't confuse me in the future

Me: Ah shit!

#yeo writes #if anyone has any suggestions for these:#platonic sunset curve - polyphantoms - platonic JatP - Ralex - Lalexie #I also might have to start a more angsty willex collection because the existing one is just fluff but I will probably just change the tags #😅

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fireflyingaway · 3 years

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it is time...

time for iris’ 100 follower celebration!!!

with this in mind, i’m marking my requests (for both moodboards and ficlets) as officially open for the next 72 hours!! just send in a character and/or pairing with your prompt and i can get to work on whatever you please! just be sure to specify if you want me making a moodboard or a ficlet and-- if you mention a pairing-- whether you want me to write it as platonic or romantic! i’ve listed romantic ships i’ll accept below the keep reading. (there’s a lot down there, so go wild but if it’s romantic, please don’t veer outside of that list. this means that if you mention a pairing off of the list and don’t mention whether the relation’s meant to be platonic or not, i’ll be assuming it’s platonic.) i did find some links for some really fun dialogue prompts i could do ficlets with (one, two, three), but you can generally send over any prompt you please and i’ll run with it as long as it’s sfw (which definitely excludes r*pe, inc*st, p*dophilia, su*cide, and self-harm).

your time starts now and ends thursday, september 9th at 1pm cdt! can’t wait to see what you got for me 👀

now...

the ship list!

*bold = personal favorites

willex (jatp)

juke (jatp)

boggie (jatp)

flarrie (jatp)

ruke/peterpatter (jatp)

julynn (jatp)

lobby (jatp)

jularrie (jatp)

kaylie (jatp)

rulie (jatp)

wilmon (yr)

sara x felice (yr)

anderperry (dps)

luberto (pixar’s luca)

merthur (bbc’s merlin)

arwen (bbc’s merlin)

morgwen (bbc’s merlin)

gwencelot (bbc’s merlin)

perwaine (bbc’s merlin)

adrienette (mlb)

lukamari/lukanette (mlb)

adrigami (mlb)

lukagami (mlb)

lukadrien (mlb)

marigami (mlb)

peterpatterlina (jatp)

julyrrie (jatp)

rebuke (jatp)

bollex (jatp)

lalexie (jatp)

willexie/ralexie (jatp)

klarrie (jatp)

julie x luke x bobby (jatp)

luke x julie x nick (jatp)

benji x victor x rahim (lv)

jukebogs (jatp)

lukadrienette (mlb)

adrigaminette (mlb)

boregallie (jatp)

lukadrigaminette (mlb)

luke x bobby x reggie x alex x willie (jatp)

#iris' 100 follower event #jatp #julie and the phantoms #yr #young royals #bbc merlin #dps #dead poets society #love victor #luca #pixar luca #luca 2021 #why are more than half the ships i mention here ships i've never written #why do i do this to myself #idk but i just #i'm rlly rlly excited #send in your requests!!!#what's iris up to #if you send angst stuff expect hurt/comfort bc hhhhhhhh happy endings

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merihn · 2 years

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i will come back to you (if you’ll have me) | Alex/Luke/Willie | EXPLICIT | 12k

This is an alternate ending/sequel to @floating-in-the-blue’s brilliant fic I Will Lie for You (I’m just no Good at it), which you should definitely read first because it’s amazing and super hot, and this doesn’t really make sense without it, since it only diverges in the last few paragraphs of the original fic.

After going home with Luke and Alex and then missing an important conversation, Willie freaks out the next morning and leaves before they wake up.

Angst and miscommunication and smut, oh my!

#julie and the phantoms #who am i?#adding angst to a lovely and sweet universe?#I just couldn't help myself #my fic #jatp #lalexie #alex x luke x willie

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missjanjie · 10 months

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Lalalexis hc's? How do they behave when the other is sick or drunk?

- alexis is the mom friend and that carries over to her relationships. she’ll still drink and have fun unless she’s needed as the dd, but she always makes sure that lala stays hydrated, has a snack here and there, and never take her eyes off her drink.

- lala’s a real good time gal when she’s drunk. she’s the one that’ll immediately bring life to a dull party and make sure the wallflowers are included too. alexis finds this incredibly endearing

- part of why alexis doesn’t get drunk that often is because hangovers are actual nightmares for her. like, a bad one will keep her fully out of work for the day if it’s during the week, so she only gets drunk on weekends/holidays. when both of them are drunk… well, everyone has fun, at least

#hc tag #lalexis

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anthonyjlockwood · 3 years

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17 OF THE 50 WAYS TO SAY I LOVE YOU FOR LALEXIE PLEASEEEE

em, my fellow luke angst lover, my lalexie brain rot-causer, my beloved <3

here is your prompt on ao3. tw for discussions of luke wanting to cross over. please read responsibly💜

Luke’s song book has been through a lot over the years.

It’s had tears soaked into its pages. It’s had crumbs stuck in between its binding. It’s had dozens of songs written on it in fast, messy handwriting, thousands of words based on Luke’s inner thoughts, feelings, hopes, and dreams.

It’s survived years worth of scribbles, cross-outs, rips and tears; even hugs and kisses, when Luke’s written something he’s sure will be a hit someday.

It’s survived death, some time in a dark room, and a tumbling trip back to Earth twenty five years in the future.

And now, the boy who’s been writing in it for all that time, whose soul is attached to it in ways most people wouldn’t even understand, is using its pages for something else.

Something no one would have ever expected.

A list.

Ways I Can Cross Over.

He thought that maybe, Unsaid Emily would’ve been it. There was a small part of him that had expected to just vanish into thin air the second Julie handed his parents that sheet of notebook paper.

His notebook is almost empty now. Luke thinks that that’s fitting; he’s spent most of his soul onto the pages. He’s a ghost. He’s got nothing more to give. Maybe it’s even a sign -- a sign that he’s not going to need to write music for much longer. The notebook is running out of space. It’s running out of time, just like he is.

He wonders if he could even use a new songbook. It wouldn’t be a part of him, the way his old one was. It would be empty; a blank slate for him to start a new journey in. A whole new marathon to run just as he’s crossing the finish line of the last one.

And… he doesn’t want to.

He’s tired of running. Running from his parents. Running from Caleb. From things that he broke, from things that were threatening to break him. From things that were hurting his friends.

Luke’s always been one for impulsive decisions.

So after he makes his list, he dog-ears the page and gives himself a time limit.

He has until the pages run out in his notebook to figure out what his unfinished business is… and finish it.

The problem is, Luke’s life on Earth wasn’t that long. He’s had seventeen years to start things, and practically no time at all to finish them. The possibilities of what his unfinished business actually is are endless. There was that music festival the guys had wanted to play at the end of summer ‘95. Countless world tours they wanted to go on. He wanted to sign an autograph for Dave Grohl, shake hands with Mick Jagger. He wanted to drink chocolate from the world’s largest chocolate waterfall in Alaska.

So few of these things he could actually do, now that he was dead.

Even fewer of them he could do without the guys. If his unfinished business really had to be just for him, maybe the band stuff wouldn’t be enough.

He never finished high school. He never learned how to play the bass -- he’s always wanted to; after all, Reggie could play the guitar, so Luke should know how to play his instrument, too.

And the only other thing he could think of that was absolutely, one hundred percent his business to finish… was his relationship with his mother.

Julie bringing “Unsaid Emily” over to his old house had been something. It filled the hole in his chest just enough that he could pretend it wasn’t there. Having his mom finally see how he felt about her, how much he regretted leaving, was like putting an ice pack on a burn. It eased the pain for the moment, had him thinking maybe that would be enough, that it would heal properly. But the ice pack’s melted, now; it’s gone back to room temperature, and his heart is still screaming.

Luke wonders what else he would have to do to get rid of the guilt.

He knows -- he hopes -- that the guilt won’t follow him to the afterlife. Because it’s really the only thing about this ghost-limbo that he wants to escape from. He doesn’t mind the invisibility, or the intangibility, because those things have never really prevented him from playing music. Music, though, he’ll miss, but Luke thinks it’s a small price to pay. After all, Alex and Reggie should’ve had their whole lives to play music. And even if Luke crosses over, they still can. He’s the one who caused their untimely deaths in the first place.

And he can never undo that, but… something he’s realized as all of them have adjusted to being ghosts is that he’s not really needed.

Sunset Curve could go on as a trio. Julie would still have her found family in Alex and Reggie and Willie. Reggie would have his friends that remained, as well as Ray and Carlos to fill in any gaps.

And Alex and Willie would have each other.

For Willie, the whole concept of “unfinished business” is just… not really on his radar. He’s pretty content in his afterlife. He is, as the kids say, vibing. He’s moving along, singing a song. He was never in any rush to figure out what his unfinished business was, and he was especially never in any rush to cross over, to fade out of existence entirely and into the unknown.

He also never really understood why other ghosts would want to do that. Until he met Alex and the others, and realized that sometimes, urgency forces your hand. Outside circumstances throw you out of your comfort zone, force you to do things you never would’ve considered before.

But also, since meeting Alex, the tiny part of his soul that’s always been curious about what his unfinished business was -- curious about crossing over, about what’s on the other side -- has pretty much shriveled away to nothing. Alex gives a whole new meaning to Willie’s life -- to his afterlife, really -- but the drummer makes him feel alive again in a way that he hasn’t felt in decades. Long before he’d forgotten the age-old saying, look both ways before you cross the street.

Willie wouldn’t call himself the most observant person on Earth. Sometimes, he can be a little oblivious. He can be blinded to the truth, only see what he wants to see -- he can deny what’s right in front of him. Give people the benefit of the doubt who don’t deserve it, like he’s done with Caleb so many times before.

He tries not to stress about things. Tries to just be. Live -- or do whatever he’s doing as a ghost, honestly -- with no regrets, no looking back. He doesn’t worry about consequences. But at the same time, he’s also scared of disappointing people. Scared of how he’s coming across to other people. He needs to make sure he’s not messing up too too badly, because he wants the people he loves to love him back -- he wants them to want him to stick around.

So he pays attention. He misses stuff sometimes, sure… but Willie’s mission in his afterlife is simple. Chill out, do whatever he wants to do -- it’s not like he can get caught; he’s invisible. Just don’t get on Caleb Covington’s bad side.

Love whoever he still can, and be loved back.

Willie loves Alex. He’s loved him since the museum. He’s needed him since he ran into him on the street with his skateboard. But lately, Willie’s started to realize that he might also love Luke. Not any more or less than he loves Alex, which is a confusing problem in itself. And not really in a different way than Alex, either. His heart does somersaults when he’s around Luke now, too.

He might need him in different ways than Alex, though. Alex calms him down, grounds him when his head’s in the clouds or he’s too distracted by other things. He brings him back, makes him aware of what’s most important in the moment. He makes him laugh. Makes him think. Makes him stop and appreciate everything around him, instead of just whipping through his afterlife with no concerns. Alex makes him care.

But Luke… With Luke, it feels like he’s stuck upside-down at the top of a roller coaster, but there’s no one else he’d rather be stuck with. He feels more dangerous with Luke, willing to do things that he’s too scared to drag Alex into. He feels like there’s no limits. In one of Luke’s songs, he wrote face first, full charge, and that’s the exact energy he brings when he’s around Willie -- when he’s around anyone, really. He’s passionate, and driven, and so unafraid. Willie doesn’t have to be as careful around Luke.

And they’re both super protective of Alex.

Willie needs Alex for the slow rollercoaster ride to the top of the hill, and he needs Luke for laughter, for thrill, for excitement. For the thrilling, twisty way back down.

Willie’s not sure that anything feels complete without Alex and Luke.

So, since they’re both a part of Willie in ways that he can’t even really explain, Willie watches. He pays attention to both of them, taking in everything about them in quiet, soft, subtle ways.

That’s how he starts to notice that something’s off with Luke.

A week goes by, the pages in Luke’s notebook are dwindling, and he still has no idea what his unfinished business is.

It’s frustrating, having to narrow his entire life down to one possible milestone he’s never gotten to achieve. There are far too many. And the nagging voice in the back of Luke’s head -- the one telling him that Alex and Reggie have just as many milestones -- isn’t helping matters at all.

Luke just wants all this to be over. He deserves it -- he’s not sure whether he deserves the questionable peace crossing over would bring; everyone always says death is peaceful, anyway. But he definitely deserves the “no longer existing” part. And Alex and Reggie do deserve it. They deserve everything that life -- or afterlife, really -- can still offer them. Luke’s tired of holding them back. It feels like nothing’s ever good enough -- like he’s wearing shoes made out of lead, or something, trying to walk across a desert, and he’s got a time limit to get there. And Alex and Reggie are chained to him -- stuck in the same predicament, because they just had to follow him to that hot dog stand. He’s tired of getting them into these messes. First death; and, as if that wasn’t bad enough, into the Hollywood Ghost Club with Caleb Covington, all because he just couldn’t let his grudge against Bobby -- Trevor Wilson -- die.

He’s still writing music, but his lyrics aren’t as powerful anymore. They’re not as confident, not as inspiring. And he writes with Julie, but he thinks Julie can tell that his spark has dimmed.

He hopes that she thinks he’s just going through writer’s block, or something. Something fixable.

He’s been working on his list for the past week, too. He thinks he’s got his unfinished business pretty much narrowed down; there’s three things on his list he wants to try. School. Bass. Emily.

He needs Reggie’s help with the bass one, so he’s been putting it off. And Emily…

Luke has tried to steer clear of his old house since Julie gave his parents the song. Because… the fact that it didn’t help, that it didn’t ease the ache in his heart in exactly the way Julie hoped that it would, made Luke feel guilty. And he doesn’t really want to see if the song made a difference for his parents. Because what if it didn’t?

What if they’re like Luke, just wishing for more? More interaction that they can never have -- an actual conversation about the regrets that he touched on in the song? A physical hug, the weight of their arms around each other, a look of real, actual understanding in their eyes that Luke’s never thought he would actually see.

And the thing is… if his parents are Luke’s unfinished business, what the hell is he supposed to do about it?

The prospect of being chained to the Earth forever because of something he’d screwed up beyond repair when he was alive has his stomach churning, almost as badly as it was when he’d eaten that hot dog.

The easiest one for Luke to focus on is school -- which, if someone had said to him twenty-five years ago that school would be at the top of his priority list, he’d have laughed in their face -- and the easiest way for him to do it is through Julie.

Julie’s sufficiently banned him from actually showing up at her school, but that doesn’t mean he can’t do other things. Like homework and studying. So Luke’s plan is this: he’ll study with Julie, maybe convince her to let him do a couple of her homework assignments. And if she aces her next math test because of the work they’ve done together, Luke’ll consider it a win.

It’s the best option he has. It’s not like he can sit in a classroom anymore, or take his own tests.

He sneaks up on her one afternoon as she’s sitting in her bedroom, chewing on a pencil, face scrunched in confusion.

“Hey, Jules. Whatcha doin?”

At the sound of his voice, Julie looks up at him and her confusion transforms into a smile. “Hey, Luke! Just homework.”

“Need any help?” He shuffles a little closer to the bed, mindful of Julie’s distaste for having the boys in her room.

Julie’s face flips back to confusion like a lightswitch. “You… want to help me with my homework?”

“Yeah!” Luke huffs out an awkward laugh, rubbing the back of his neck. “I just… was curious, I guess. About what you’re learning in school.”

“Why?”

“You know, I never finished high school!” Luke says. “I’ve kind of always wondered what it would’ve been like if I had. Y’know, walking across a stage in that dumb cap and gown. Um -- accomplishing something. Being able to finish something important!”

He’s saying too much -- he knows by the way Julie’s expression shifts, confusion into curiosity into concern.

“Hey, wait,” she says, placing her pencil down and closing her textbook. “Are you okay? Is there something you want to talk about, Luke?”

“What? No! I’m fine!”

He hates the way his voice comes out, rough and high-pitched and decidedly not fine. Julie looks like she’s about to argue, so he opens his dumb, not-fine, impulsive mouth once again. “Seriously, Jules. I’m good. Gotta go meet the boys now, see ya!”

He poofs away, but he can still see Julie’s worried stare still fixed on him behind his eyelids.

“Don’t you think he’s been acting kinda strange?”

Willie is sitting in the garage, Reggie on the couch to his right and Alex behind him, braiding his hair like he does when he gets nervous.

And he’s trying to console Alex, to tell him to relax, that they’ll make sure Luke is fine -- only the confidence that Willie’s normally so famous for is dwindling.

Alex is worried about Luke, and Willie would love to reassure him, except that Willie thinks that Alex has a point. Luke has been acting strange lately; way too over the top during rehearsals, more trips to see his mom than usual -- trips that he thinks they don’t know about -- plus, he’s been reading books.

Julie’s school books, which he takes out of her room sometimes and stashes up on top of the loft. Books that Alex found there earlier that day, when he was looking for his drumsticks. Books that Alex had asked Willie about… and they’d both determined that it was Luke who had brought them up there, because Reggie wouldn’t hide the fact that he was teaching himself Trigonometry, and Luke’s been acting really weird as it is.

“You said he’s doing math?” Reggie asks, eyes wide. Willie figures Reggie must know just as well as he does -- if not better -- what Luke doing math could mean: that he’s not acting like himself.

“Yes!” Willie flails, waving his arms wildly -- to make a point -- and knocking into his boyfriend, who flinches back, tugging on Willie’s hair in the process.

“Ow!”

“Well you didn’t have to jump like that!” Alex hisses back. “Stop moving. I’m trying to stress-braid.”

“Sorry, Alex,” Willie sighs, straightening himself on the sofa. Sometimes, Alex just needs to stress-braid his hair. It gives him something to do with his hands; it’s a way for him to occupy his mind -- to focus on things other than the anxiety. And Willie’s usually all too happy to provide that service (what feels better than having your hair braided, especially by a boy you love?)

“Do you think he’s okay?” Alex mumbles, fingers once again fumbling through Willie’s hair in his unpracticed, clumsy way.

“Why don’t you guys just talk to him?” Reggie asks. “D’you have any idea what could be wrong?”

“No,” Willie huffs. “He’s just been acting so weird. I know it’s something. He’s doing stuff that he’s never cared about before -- like math. But also just… the stuff he normally loves, music. He’s… acting like it’s gonna be taken away from him, or something. Haven’t you noticed how hard he’s pushing you guys in band practice?”

“He’s acting like… like we’re running out of time,” Alex realizes. “But why?”

Just then, the boy in question poofs into the garage -- like he was rushing to get there; his landing’s not clean, and he stumbles around for a moment before catching himself on one of the microphone stands. He straightens up and sees that he has an audience.

“Hey -- hey, guys,” he stammers. “What’s up? We gonna practice?”

His eyes fix on Reggie, then, and he perks up. “Oh! Reg! I’ve been meaning to ask you -- can you teach me how to play the bass?”

“Can I--” Reggie stops, stares at Luke for a moment, trying to piece everything together.

Alex, though, right in front of Willie behind the sofa, looks like he’s already figured it out. He blinks at Luke. “You want to learn how to play bass?”

“I always have,” Luke shrugs. Alex studies him, and Luke twitches under his gaze.

“I just thought it would be cool, ya know, to know all our instruments. So can you teach me, Reg?”

“Um -- I --” Reggie’s eyes dart between Alex, Willie, and Luke, probably trying to figure out what the right thing to say is. Willie doesn’t know, exactly, but he knows one thing for sure: there’s no way Luke’s sudden interest in learning the bass is a coincidence.

Alex seems to be on the same page, but unlike Willie, he’s more inclined to take charge, to do something about it. “Reg, can we talk to Luke alone for a minute?”

“Yes,” Reggie lets out a sigh of relief and poofs away, leaving Willie and Alex to deal with… whatever this is. Willie still isn’t totally sure.

He’s once again enormously grateful for Alex, and the fact that his boyfriend has a pretty good handle on what’s going on in the world seventy-five percent of the time. Because it shocks Willie just as much as it does Luke when Alex says, “Why are you trying to cross over?”

What?

Willie hasn’t put the pieces together nearly as well as Alex has -- in fact, he feels like they’ve been working on entirely different puzzles. Why would Luke be trying to cross over? Why would he want to leave all the guys, and Julie, behind forever?

He wouldn’t. It doesn’t make sense.

Except the second the words leave Alex’s mouth, Luke freezes, eyes wide like he’s been tossed into the path of an oncoming train, shoes welded to its tracks.

And Willie starts to think that maybe his boyfriend wasn’t so far off the mark, after all.

“There are people who love you, you know.”

Luke blinks up at Alex, still frozen, still thrown for a loop, still… not understanding how Alex figured him out.

“How do you think we’d feel if you crossed over?” Alex continues, his intense gaze still fixed on Luke, Luke squirming uncomfortably underneath it. “Without us? Is that… is that something you want?”

Alex’s voice finally cracks, betraying the emotion underneath it, and it’s almost too much for Luke to take. His wild eyes dart around the studio, looking for something -- anything -- to focus on, to take him out of the moment… and he finds the string lights, hung across the walls and the ceilings. He starts counting the bulbs, reciting the numbers in his head. He only makes it to seven before Willie’s voice breaks his concentration.

“Luke?”

“How… how did you know that’s what I was trying to do?” Luke mumbles.

“Well… the math’s what clued me in,” Willie lets out a half-hearted laugh as Alex takes slow steps around the sofa and sits down.

“Come here,” he calls out to Luke -- and although every bone in Luke’s body is screaming run, get out, get far, far away from this conversation… he finds himself joining them, sitting down in the spot on the couch they’ve made in between them.

“We just want you to know there are people who love you,” Willie says. “People -- people who need you, Luke. You can’t leave us, okay? You can’t cross over. Not without us.”

“But you -- you guys and Reggie and Julie -- you don’t need me.”

“What are you talking about?” Alex asks. “Of course we--”

“You and Reg would still be alive if it weren’t for me,” Luke growls. “So don’t say you need me. All I do is mess everything up. You guys, our careers, my parents…”

“Hang on, Luke,” Alex reaches a hand out, momentarily caught off guard. Luke doesn’t see why; it’s not like what he said was that complicated. He’s messed up. He breaks things. He ruined his parents’ lives by running away. He almost ruined Julie’s life, by getting involved with Caleb. And -- and Alex and Reggie…

“None of that’s your fault,” Alex says with conviction.

“Alex--”

“No!” Alex gets up, suddenly, and starts to pace around the room, fingers digging through his hair. “You have to know that. We don’t blame you for any of that!”

“Luke, Alex is right,” Willie reaches a hand out, cautiously, and takes one of Luke’s. When Luke doesn’t pull away, Willie pulls him even closer, into his chest, and starts gently running his fingers through Luke’s hair.

Luke sinks into Willie’s chest, eyes following Alex’s nervous pacing -- he’s biting his lip, and his hands are shaking slightly. Luke hadn’t realized that it might be hard on Alex, too, dealing with Luke’s current mental spiral.

He pulls away from Willie, ignoring the other boy’s whine of protest, and sits up to face Alex. “Hey, Alex,” he calls out quietly. “Come back and sit down. I’m-- I’m good. You don’t have to worry about me. Just… take deep breaths, okay?”

“Are you seriously trying to calm me down right now?” Alex snaps. A flash of hurt crosses Luke’s face -- one that he must not be quick enough to hide, because Alex’s own face softens at the sight of it.

“I’m sorry,” he says. “Luke… I--”

“Just come back here and hold me, please,” Luke croaks.

Luke… doesn’t cry much, if he can help it. He hates tears, both his own and other people’s, and generally tries to avoid them at all costs. But… the look on Alex’s face, the tone of his voice -- his scared, anxious, desperate voice as he snapped at Luke for trying to calm him down -- has the dam breaking, finally, and the tears are bursting out of Luke’s eyes and running down his face before he even knows what’s happening, running down and soaking into the collar of his flannel shirt.

At the sight of Luke’s tears, Alex startles, and makes a beeline for his side. Luke is thrown into a group hug, Alex and Willie on either side of him.

And he just lets himself cry.

It takes a while, but finally Luke calms down a bit.

He stays on the couch, sandwiched in between two of his favorite people on the planet. Willie’s hands are still running gently through his hair; Alex’s thumb is rubbing small circles on his wrist.

His tears have finally stopped, but there’s this annoying, puffy ache in his head and behind his eyes that feels like it’s going to linger for a while.

It’s quiet, and the quiet allows Luke to think about everything that’s happened that day -- after weeks of his stupid, ill-advised mission to complete his unfinished business, he’s been found out.

And he found out that people -- Alex and Willie, who are love and sunshine and light and everything beautiful about the world personified -- would actually miss him if he was gone. That people care, that they don’t blame him for the stuff that he’s been blaming himself for for months.

It’s… a lot to wrap his head around, and even though the tears have stopped, the uncertainty and anxiety and desire to not be a burden is still swirling around in his head, leaving him silent and still as he sits there in between Alex and Willie, his head now resting on Willie’s shoulder.

He knows that those feelings, like the ache he feels in his heart and his head, will probably be around a while.

“I’m sorry for making you worry ‘bout me,” he mumbles, burrowing his face even deeper into Willie’s loose-fitting sweatshirt. Willie’s arms wrap around him and hold him there, and Luke takes in a deep, slow breath, inhaling Willie’s musky scent, shutting his eyes in the first moment of contentment he’s felt in weeks.

“I meant what I said, you know,” Alex whispers. “None of it’s your fault. There are people who love you. We…”

He stops, and Luke turns his head as much as Willie’s grip will allow to try to see why. He’s able to just peek at Alex out of the corner of his eye, and he sees that the other boy’s frowning. Like he’s unsure of what he’s about to say. Like he’s nervous.

“Alex?” Luke struggles out of Willie’s grip, and reluctantly, the other boy lets him go. He shuffles to the other side of the sofa, closer to Alex, and the drummer opens his arms for Luke willingly.

Being in Alex’s arms is different than being in Willie’s, too. Alex is sturdier; less teddy-bear like than Willie is, but comforting and warm and inviting all the same. Alex’s arms feel like home just as much as Willie’s do, and Luke melts into the hug instantly, like an ice cream cone on the hot pavement in July. Alex’s hand runs up and down Luke’s back and Luke shivers, eyes threatening to slip closed despite his need to hear Alex’s answer.

“Willie and I love you, Luke,” Alex says softly. There’s no more uncertainty -- a hint of nervousness, but Luke doesn’t doubt what Alex is saying for a second. There’s a conviction in his tone -- a confidence -- that Alex only really uses when talking about people he loves. This… defensiveness, this love, this conviction.

“We don’t have to figure everything out now,” Alex continues -- probably realizing Luke’s been through enough that day. Luke appreciates that, actually. There’s only one answer he would ever give to Alex and Willie -- only one thing his heart’s ever wanted; Luke can see it now, now that the sound of his heartbeat is pulsing in his ears, now that he feels like he’s both standing on the edge of a mountain, about to take a leap of faith into the crisp winter air below -- and at the same time, on solid ground, in no danger of falling, of stumbling, of getting hurt. He feels safe and exhilarated all at the same time, and this feeling is both familiar and completely new, more amplified than it usually is. Not what he’s used to.

But Luke feels like he’s ready to take the leap now. He still feels guilty, still isn’t actually sure whether his friends -- his family -- would be better off without him. But Alex and Willie have never steered him wrong before.

When he’s sitting in between them, their arms around him and their warm, soft hands running through his hair… Luke feels like maybe he can get through anything.

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