#kunidazai angst

[knockyasocksoff2022]

IDEALS [kunikidazai]

Ideal No. 5

(1,325 words)

It seems that the more I try not to pay attention to Dazai the more of my attention he takes. It almost makes me think he would prefer I yell at him and scold him, but I won’t because if I say one word to him it will become ten and so on until I’m so deep in I’ll never be able to escape.

I feel a presence behind me at my desk,“Oi Kunikida-kun~~~”

I say nothing.

“Did you know that in America people date and even marry their cousins?”

As shocking as that is, I doubt it’s true, (I definitely will not look any further into it.) so I say nothing.

-

“Hey Kunikida! WHat do you call Batman and Robin after they’ve been flattened by a steam roller?”

The joke is easy to ignore but I'd really like to tell him to shut up.

“ . . . Flatman and Ribbon!” He laughs a fake obnoxious laugh. I don’t grace his behaviour with an answer.

-

I decide to be proactive during my lunch break.

After making sure it’s alright with the owner I sat down in one of the quaint cafe booths to enjoy my lunch in peace. The others went with Yosano-sensei to try out a new restaurant specialising in vegetarian dishes.

A few minutes after I start eating, Dazai strolls in. I focus on my food, pretending I don’t notice him at all. Maybe he’s just here to flirt with the waitress. (I’ve noticed that he hasn’t been doing that as much of late, maybe she got married or got a boyfriend.)

He isn’t. 

He sits down in front of me, I keep on eating. Then he retrieves a pair of chopsticks from inside his trench coat and starts to reach for my plate. A thieving freeloader as usual. I wonder for a moment if he’s really hungry, lord knows his eating habits are horrible. He probably hasn’t eaten in a while, but I legitimately don’t think he gets hungry.

The kind thing to do would be to let him have it, and I almost do, but I know the more of these small things I do, the more I give these small kindnesses, the more I’ll want to do something bigger.

So instead I knock the chopsticks out of his grip, using one of them to press against his throat, if it were a blade he’d probably be dead.

“Ah, so selfish Kunikida-kun, isn’t it in your ideals to feed the hungry?”

‘Are you hungry?’ I want to ask, but I don't.

Taking my silence as a no he strides out, humming his suicide song.

I wish he would’ve stayed. I would’ve gladly let him have the rest of my bento gladly, even if he hadn’t told me he wanted it. I’ve never been a stellar cook, but I can make a decent meal. I want to make something for him, to get some food besides canned crab and whiskey in his stomach. I want us to have dinner together, or any meal really. 

But that’s never going to happen so I go back to my meal in silence. The wanting fills me up inside so much that it’s hard to make myself finish my lunch but I hate wasting food so I do.

-

When my break is over I continue work as usual. We haven’t been very busy so I’ve taken to researching in the Special Operations Division’s archives with Katai’s help. My goal is to try and determine what makes Atsushi’s ability so special.

-

Dazai, of course, clocks out early, sighting a new method of suicide he wants to try. I know he probably won’t succeed but the same worry still fills me. I don’t voice my concerns though. What would I say, anyways? Any words I could think of would surely result in an admission of my affections which would mean nothing given his heterosexuality and like of me strictly because I’m someone he can get a reaction out of.

-

As I walk home my mind wanders as it always does, and since I’m away from the office I let it. I wonder if he’s alright, is he standing soaked on the riverbank or is he already back in his dorm passed out drunk by now.

I turn, startled out of my thoughts when something nips at my heel. It seems one of the stray cats that hangs around the agency has followed me home.

“Go!”

It sits down, blinking owlishly.

“I said: Go! Off with you!” I shake my foot gently in the direction of the agency, hoping it’ll find its way back safely.

It doesn’t budge.

“You shouldn’t be here, Cat, begone!”

It meows loudly, but gives no indication of moving. I sigh.

The cat is clearly a street cat. Its fur is off with a tan spot down its back and almost bluish patch on its chest. There's a black stripe on its head in between its black ears and two black dots almost looking like eyebrows. It’s dirty with leaves and twigs stuck in its fur but I can still see the white stripes going all around its body. The most noticeable features though are the torn left ear and scratches over its left eye, which judging by the slightly milky colour must be slightly blind.There are matching scratches all over the poor thing’s body and its whiskers are sticking out in all directions, like it's taken a shock.

Still it sticks its tongue out, looking almost mischievous. It reminds me of Dazai in a way that makes my heart ache. I’m not a  monster, I can give her some milk or something.

“Fine, cat, you can come with me, but you better not have rabies or anything like that.”

I’ve never tried to create food with my notebook before but now I write “Cat Treat” and one appears in my hand where the page once was. I sniff it, it smells like it should . . . I think?

The cat takes it, sniffing suspiciously for a second then gobbling it down in one bite. It looks at me for more, but I don't want to use another page so I shake my head. It meows almost as if it’s whining as I open the door.

I shouldn’t have a feral cat in here, especially since It’s not technically my house. I’ve been living here alone for years and I pay the bills, but it still legally belongs to my parents who used to live here. They officially gave it to me when they went off to travel the globe a few years back.

The cat hops up on the counter, I turn on the tap and to my surprise it jumps right in. I have to shoo it out before I wash my hands.

-

Now I’m kneeling beside the bathtub, heavy rubber cleaning gloves on and bath soap in my hand. The cat, a she cat, as it turns out, isn’t afraid of the water at all. She rolls over and pounces onto her back, splashing me. 

I occupy the rest of the evening cleaning her up and treating her wounds as best I can, not letting myself of a certain bandaged man. I’ll have to take her to the veterinarian tomorrow but for now the gauze and canned sardines from my emergency food stash with a bowl of warm milk will be enough.

What to name her?

The first anime that comes to mind is the name of the famous author Oba Yozo.  Yozo is a masculine name, but somehow, it fits.

I hear her meowing as I shower, brush my teeth and dress in my night clothes.

I don’t let Yozo sleep in my room, though she wants to, but eventually she gets comfortable on the sun porch. Being a human is so complicated, I wish I could have as few worries as a cat.

That’s what I think of as I drift into sleep.

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #kunikidazai fanfiction #kunikidazai fanfic #kunikidazai fic #kunikidazai angst #kunikidazai #kunidazai fanfiction #kunidazai fanfic #kunidazai fic #kunidazai angst #kunidazai #IDEALS [kunikidazai]

[kiwi-fr0g]

I’ve made another kunidazai fic

This one is post chp 109 it’s a angst fic. It’s basically Kunikida dealing with Dazai’s death 



#bungou stray dogs #kunidazai #angst fic #kunidazai angst #kunidazai fic #kiwi’s fics #doppo kunikida #osamu dazai #married kunidazai

[littencloud9]

ahem. kunikidazai where they’re on a mission and dazai gets hurt, and kunikida uses his ability to create bandages for dazai, only for them to turn back into paper among contact

#did somebody ask for knkdz angst ❤️ #bsd #kunikidazai #kunidazai

[sad-emo-dip-dye]

Chuuya patching up Dazai after they fooled Fyodor, giving him the rundown of what happened to the agency since then, Dazais heart dropping as Chuuya tells him Kunikida sacrificed himself on the helicopter and he doesn’t know what happened after that

#oh boy my brain is cooking up some angst #bsd #bungo stray dogs #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #kunidazai #knkdz #chuuya nakahara

[sunisblinding]

What if at the end of bsd only a few characters live and the end is like certain characters putting flowers on the others graves.

#like all the ships basically #i love angst #im not sorry #i love character death #best angst troupe actully #bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd suegiku #soukoku #kunidazai #bsd dazai #bsd kunikida #bsd chuuya #bsd jouno #bsd tecchou #im not putting all the tags here

[sickficideas]

no promises || kunizai sickfic

ao3! 7.4k, mild nsfw/emeto themes - please refer to this link for warnings/tags! request for @potatopersonal on ao3!!

"Is Atsushi -"

"We've got it under control, Dazai. I need you to take this, you're the only one in any real danger here and you know that," Yosano tells him in that scolding mother voice of hers that often reminds him that she's the older one.

She's holding a cup of activated charcoal, something that he's dreadfully familiar with. He's taken it against his will and of his own accord on many occasions through his time with the Port Mafia, and he thinks even once or twice at the Armed Detective Agency, but this time he's not the culprit of his own demise.

He realizes that Yosano isn't going to give in and that she's really asking him to take it right here, right now - so he does like she's asked of him and somehow manages to down the entire cup without a pause.

It always makes him vomit. Every single time, without fail. The texture is so awful, and on top of that, he thinks his body has developed some sort of gag reflex specifically for this substance because he's taken it so many times against his will.

He and Atsushi were both poisoned downstairs at the cafe just about a half hour ago, he thinks. They only noticed because Atsushi started to feel incredibly unwell. Dazai doesn't know if he didn't get hit as hard because he's been poisoned before, or if Atsushi had much more of the poison than he did - either way, he's much more concerned about him.

This has happened before, this exact scenario, back when Dazai was a Port Mafia Executive. He and Akutagawa were both poisoned in the same way, their drinks being spiked. Dazai's health back then was much worse and it took him a lot longer to recover, but Akutagawa was unconscious for two weeks. Dazai thought he would never wake up. He remembers Gin asking him if he was going to die. He can still remember tears in her eyes that he'd never seen before or since then.

He can't believe he's let this happen twice. Why was he so careless?

"Yosano, he's - is he unconscious?" Dazai hardly manages to choke out before he feels the charcoal push its way back up his esophagus. Yosano's well prepared, of course, with a bedpan under his chin just seconds before a gag forces everything to splatter into the pan. He sucks in a breath and groans.

"He's conscious, and I need you to stay with me, too," Yosano says. Dazai can feel himself getting seriously lightheaded, and obviously it's bad enough for Yosano to notice, too. "I need you to take more of it, I'm sorry."

Dazai doesn't know if he can stay conscious. He can see the black creeping into his peripheral and he knows that's a sign that he's losing the battle. He lets Yosano do what she needs to do and he helps her as much as he can in his half-conscious state. He's really trying to fight it. Yosano forces more of the active charcoal down his throat and it bubbles back up in no time at all. Dazai's not even sure where the vomit ended up this time.

“Put me out of my misery,” he chokes out.

“I can’t do that, Dazai, I’m a licensed physician,” she reminds him for the hundredth time. Mori sure didn’t have a problem trying to help him die, but he didn’t care much about the law. He starts wondering if Mori even had a license at all, but his brain starts to fog up, and his eyes unfocus.

He can hear her saying his name. She sounds desperate, but his body is starting to go numb, and he can't respond. He can't fight it anymore.

At least, if he dies, it won't be painful.

But Atsushi -

…

Kunikida hasn't been this stressed in a long time. He's very aware that his presence stresses Yosano out so he's kept himself out of the infirmary and he's been sitting on a stray chair across from the couch. He's trying to stay calm, but he's deeply concerned for Dazai. Yosano reported that he started seizing, which is a bad sign.

Atsushi is sitting on the couch across from Kunikida, his expression looking just as solemn. He's still hooked up to an IV at Yosano's request with how dehydrated he is. He's only just now started to improve after hours of dealing with a raging fever and vomiting - Yosano thinks that his ability is slowly starting to mend his body and allowing the symptoms to subside, with the help of her own ability. She told him to stay out of the infirmary because she had a feeling the smell of the antiseptic was making him feel worse, with his heightened senses.

Dazai doesn't have anything to help him out. No ability to heal himself, and no possibility of Yosano interfering, so they're not even sure if he should be improving at this point.

"Kunikida?" Atsushi starts. His voice sounds hoarse. He coughs a few times to clear his throat.

"He'll be fine. Don't worry. He's always fine," Kunikida tells him, already knowing what he's going to say. He straightens up. "I want you to go home as soon as Kyoka gets here. You need to rest and I know you won't be doing that here."

"But I don't want to go," Atsushi murmurs. His voice sounds wobbly. He's been crying on and off for hours, Kunikida wouldn't be surprised if he started again now, but he's trying to keep him in good spirits.

"I get it, Atsushi. Trust me," he sighs. He pushes his glasses up to the top of his head and rubs at his eyes. "But you need to look after yourself too."

"Will you tell me if something happens?" Atsushi asks quietly.

"Of course I will."

Thankfully, it's not long until Kyoka is back from the medical supply errand she was asked to run for Yosano. She's incredibly worried about Atsushi, it's obvious even for someone who rarely shows strong emotion. He cries into her shoulder for a while, and she lets him. He's so drained, mentally and physically, that no one tries to cheer him up. Kunikida almost hopes that the tears will tire him out and help him sleep.

They all wish Atsushi well before the two of them leave, and not long after, Yosano makes an appearance back in the office, gathering concerned looks from everyone inside. Fukuzawa has appeared, too.

"He's not improving the way I'd like him to," Yosano says quietly, crossing her arms over her chest. "I'm keeping a close eye on him, but if he needs supplemental care I'll have to send him to a hospital."

Kunikida wastes no time in slipping inside the infirmary to see him as Yosano addresses the rest of the staff. He's at the one closest to the door. Kunikida's heart drops when he sees him.

Dazai's frame looks incredibly small and fragile in the cot like this. It's so rare to see him in such a state. Kunikida would have thought this is the kind of thing Dazai would never ever fall victim to, but he supposes every human lets their guard down. Even superhumans like Dazai.

Kunikida isn't sure if he's unconscious or not, but either way, he's in pain. Kunikida can see it in the way his face is all twisted up, the sweat collecting at his hairline. He wants to do something.

He sits down on the cot right beside his and sighs.

"What the hell have you gotten yourself into?" Kunikida sighs.

An hour or so passes, and Kunikida spends his time completely still at Dazai's bedside, trying to stay out of Yosano's way. Ranpo comes back from a job with the Yokohama police and quickly assures them that the attack on Dazai and Atsushi was an angry client of theirs. Ranpo knows who it is, and he's already on the case - and before long, he leaves to catch him, with Kenji in tow to apprehend him by physical means.

Kunikida was starting to worry it had something to do with Dazai's past at the Port Mafia. That would open a whole new can of worms. This is easy, something they can handle with no issue.

"One of my friends up in Tokyo is a poison specialist. I'll take the sample there and he'll help me create an antidote for him without using any abilities, that way it’ll work on him…" Yosano murmurs. Kunikida heard her mention she already tried ability-based antidotes she’s acquired, just in case there were somehow enough degrees of separation for it to work, but with no luck.

Yosano tells him this with a briefcase in hand and her lab coat, something she doesn't wear as often nowadays, letting him know that she's leaving now.

Yosano gives him a list of ranges for his vital signs to look out for, and any symptoms that could appear that would require a hospital visit.

"Shouldn't you stay with him instead?" Kunikida asks nervously, looking up at her. He's not sure about this. Dazai doesn't seem to be doing well at all, for the only doctor on their staff to leave him. God, his stomach is starting to hurt from the stress. “What if he has another seizure?”

"I trust you. If you think he needs to go to the hospital at any point, do that. Don't ask me first," Yosano says. "I know you'll do what's best for him. He hasn’t seized in at least an hour, so I think that’s over with for now.”

Kunikida bites his lip. He hopes she's right.

…

It’s almost eight o’clock in the evening now, and Dazai has been unconscious since the first time he had a seizure.

He’s stable. His vital signs haven’t changed, he hasn’t had any seizures, and Kunikida has checked in with Yosano a few times. She expects him to wake up soon. Kunikida started working himself up, horrified that Dazai has slipped into some sort of coma, but Yosano doesn’t seem to think that’s a possibility.

“Kenji caught the culprit. He’s been placed in a holding cell until they can prove his guilt,” Ranpo says as he hands Kunikida the report. He’s stopped by to hand it off to Kunikida. Kenji has already gone home.

“They didn’t take your word for it?” Kunikida asks, half joking as he thumbs through the pages. Ranpo doesn’t do a very good job at filling these out, so Kunikida usually has to fix most of it for him.

“The guy’s a cop, of course. So they’re protecting him,” Ranpo grumbles, mildly annoyed. “Sounds like he was after Dazai specifically. Couldn’t give me a solid reason, but I know he’s been a client before. He knows something about Dazai’s…previous job. I’m sure.”

Kunikida bites his lip. As long as the guy is behind bars.

“How is he?” Ranpo asks. “Stable?”

“Yeah. Yosano isn’t too worried about him getting worse too quickly,” Kunikida mumbles, “but he’s not getting better.”

“Be careful with him. You know how he gets around Yosano when he’s not in his right mind,” Ranpo warns, and that’s the last thing he says to him before he waves him off and leaves the Agency.

Kunikida finds himself standing at that front door, staring at the report cover, thinking about what Ranpo said. It’s only happened once - Yosano was trying to treat Dazai after he collapsed from a high fever, but he wouldn’t let Yosano touch him. It was the most hysteric that Kunikida has ever seen him. They weren’t sure what was going on, but obviously, Yosano specifically reminded him of someone from his past.

He's pulled out of his thoughts for a moment when he hears something fall.

He tosses the report on his desk and almost sprints over to where the sound came from, certain Dazai is the source of it. He turns into the infirmary and Dazai is crumpled on the floor, turned into himself, arms shaking and breath hitching. The fluid stand is on the floor beside him.

"Dazai, what the hell?" Kunikida starts, carefully kneeling down beside him. He reaches out to touch his cheek. His skin hot to the touch. Kunikida knew he was running a fever, but this seems much worse than before. He curses under his breath.

"Where is…where…" Dazai murmurs. His eyes are dark and unfocused as he tries to force himself off the floor. His arms are hardly support his weight. He’s shivering, Kunikida thinks, but he’s not sure if it’s from the fever, or from fear. His eyes meet Kunikida’s once he’s at level with him, but his expression doesn’t change.

"You shouldn't have gotten up, what are you doing?" Kunikida chides nervously. Dazai can't answer, and he pulls himself out of Kunikida’s way fast enough to vomit on the tile floor instead of his vest.

Kunikida curses to himself. It's just a splatter of bile and activated charcoal, it looks like, but he doesn't know if it's good that he's still throwing up like this. Dazai’s breath hitches and he gags again, this time, only spitting up saliva.

Kunikida reaches forward to touch him, to offer him a comforting hand or something, but the second he does, Dazai whips his head around with eyes wider than he's ever seen them.

He looks scared. Why on earth would he be scared? He didn’t look like this a minute ago, but Kunikida quickly recognizes this as the look from the time Ranpo referenced earlier.

Dazai scrambles to get away from him, he rips the IV that was somehow still attached out of his arm and somehow manages to stand himself up, but one wrong move has him crumpled on the floor again, right after his head made contact with the metal framing of the cot he was using for support. Kunikida is trying to keep his cool. He's only seen Dazai like this once before, he doesn't know what to do. Does he need to call an ambulance? Should he call Yosano?

"Dazai," Kunikida says, biting his lip to keep his cool. He stands up to get on the other side of him. He needs to get him back in bed, but the moment he touches his arm, Dazai flinches so hard that Kunikida is almost worried he'll hurt himself. He's sure he hears him whimper. God, his heart aches. 

"Don't," Dazai mumbles. He's shaking, and his voice shakes with him as he turns his head away. Kunikida doesn't know what's gotten into him. He wonders if his fever has gotten so high that he's hallucinating.

"Dazai, it's Kunikida," he tells him quietly, tightening his grip on his arm. He needs him back to reality.

Miraculously, Dazai stops trying to get away.

Kunikida doesn't waste any time. He scoops him up into his arms and carries him back to the cot he was in earlier. He tries to lay him down, but Dazai's gripping onto his shirt, refusing to let go.

Kunikida takes his head and tucks it under his chin. He lets out a shaky breath. If Dazai wasn’t so out of it, he’d give him a talking-to about how much he scared him.

"Where…" he murmurs into Kunikida’s chest, still holding on.

"You're in the infirmary," Kunikida tells him. He almost wonders how Ranpo could have guessed this would happen, but of course it did. "At the Armed Detective Agency."

He feels him relax in his hold, just enough to let Kunikida worry a little less.

“I shouldn’t have left you alone. I’m sorry,” Kunikida says quietly, holding him a little closer. He can’t imagine waking up in a hospital cot by himself like that, in the dark infirmary. No wonder he was so freaked out, especially with that fever - Kunikida has concerns that Dazai’s fear just now was more deeply rooted in something else entirely, something that Kunikida will likely never be able to get him to admit.

Kunikida holds him like that for a while and Dazai starts to breathe normally. He’s not shaking as much, but he feels him shiver every now and then, and after long enough, Dazai barely manages to pull out of Kunikida’s hold to gag, and bring up more activated charcoal onto the bed sheets. He coughs a few times, but nothing else comes up.

Kunikida sighs. Of course, he can’t help it. Thankfully there’s plenty of other cots in here, so Kunikida decides he’ll move him to the next one. “Can I pick you up again?” Kunikida asks.

Dazai’s frame melts back into Kunikida’s hold to tell him yes with a whimper, and Kunikida scoops him up to lay him down on the other cot. This is probably better anyway, fresh cool sheets ought to do him some good.

Kunikida takes a comforter from a different cot to lay over Dazai, and he’s realized too late that his arm is still bleeding from where he pulled out the IV - not much, but enough to leave marks. He rummages through the supply drawers beside the cot to grab some gauze and wrap to wrap it up, at least, and as he carefully pulls it around Dazai’s arm, he sees his head tilt in his direction.

"Is Atsushi okay?" he asks, almost sounding out of breath at the effort it took him to say it. Kunikida is beyond relieved to hear him speaking coherently.

"He's fine, Dazai. He's home with Kyoka and she'll let us know if anything goes wrong," Kunikida assures as he closes the wrap. "Worry about yourself, for once."

Dazai doesn't seem like he's going to take that into consideration even remotely. Atsushi at least listened to reason.

Kunikida needs to place another IV for fluids. He’s been vomiting so much that there’s simply not another option - he highly doubts he can get him to drink any water. The problem is that Dazai hates needles, at least when anyone else is using them on him in this kind of setting. Kunikida has seen him refuse fluids at hospitals before because of it. Kunikida isn’t sure if it’s just a general dislike or if it stems from trauma, since Dazai is whiney about most things, but he’s afraid of making things worse right now.

“I have to put another IV in,” Kunikida tells him, a hand wrapped around his wrist where he just wrapped up his arm.

“No,” Dazai whines, childishly turning his head away.

“I have to, Dazai. You’re still throwing up, you’re dehydrated,” Kunikida tells him. “And I know you won’t be able to keep water down.”

Dazai doesn’t turn his head back, but he makes no effort in trying to pull his arm away, either. He thinks he realizes he can’t avoid it.

“Is it okay if I take some of your bandages off?” Kunikida asks.

“Use the top of my hand,” Dazai murmurs, his head still turned away from Kunikida.

Kunikida stands up to gather what he needs - he’s done this enough times to know how to on his own, thankfully. While he’s up he decides to wet a cloth for Dazai’s forehead, hoping that will help distract him.

He brushes Dazai’s hair out of his face, and his dark eyes peer up at him with emotions that Kunikida can’t quite read. His hairline is damp from sweat. He lays his hand over his forehead again and frowns before he lays the washcloth over his burning forehead, and he shivers, but relaxes just a bit once he gets used to the feeling.

He pulls up a chair on the other side of the cot and turns on the lamp to get started. “Can you make a fist for me?”

Dazai obliges. His head turns up and his eyes are glued to the ceiling, looking for something else to focus on. Kunikida takes note of how his breaths quicken, just a bit. Kunikida needs to distract him.

"You seem familiar with this situation. Am I correct?" Kunikida asks. Kunikida was at the cafe with them when it happened. Dazai shouted for someone to get Yosano as soon as Atsushi said he felt nauseous because it was far too soon after he complained of the taste of the tea. Dazai had his fingers down the poor kid’s throat to get him to vomit before Kunikida could even piece together what was happening. He’s been wondering if this happened to him before.

"Mhm," Dazai mumbles after taking in a sharp breath.

"So this has happened to you before," Kunikida says.

"Mhm," Dazai nods. At first, Kunikida thinks he's just going to drop it, because even though Kunikida knows about Dazai's past now, he's still not any more open to sharing the details. "Almost…this exact scenario. With me, and…my subordinate."

"Yeah? Someone spiked your drinks?" Kunikida asks, making sure he has good placement before he uses the needle.

"Mhm," Dazai mumbles. "My subordinate was…he was unconscious for two…three? Two weeks, I think."

Kunikida wasn't aware he had any direct subordinates, but he supposes it makes sense, given Dazai's rank as an executive. It's so strange how he's never mentioned anything even remotely alluding to their existence. He uses that brief moment to stick Dazai, and he flinches, but manages to keep his arm still enough to not pull anything out. “Good. Good job, that part’s over.”

“I hate those things,” Dazai murmurs feverishly. His breaths have gotten a bit faster now, and Kunikida makes a mental note to remind himself he still has to get him hooked up to the monitoring machines again.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Kunikida says gently as he starts to dress Dazai’s hand. He wants to comfort him, somehow, but he thinks the best thing to do for someone like Dazai is a distraction. "How long ago did it happen? Long time ago?”

Somehow, turning the conversation back around to the previous topic has worked a bit. Dazai focuses back on that. "Yeah, must've been…sixteen, I think."

"You had subordinates at sixteen?" Kunikida huffs, looking up at him for a brief moment. "How old were they?"

"He was…fourteen, I think," he breathes out. Kunikida bites his lip. He knew that the mafia recruited a lot of their members very young, after all, Kyoka stands to show that.

"You recruited him?" Kunikida says. It’s hard to imagine. Kunikida almost wonders if he’s joking, but he doesn’t have the energy for that right now. "A fourteen-year-old."

"I did," Dazai admits.

"Still alive?" Kunikida asks.

"Mhm. You've met him," Dazai says turning his head back towards him. Kunikida reaches forward with his free hand to readjust the washcloth on his head, as it’s started to slip.

Well, now Kunikida's intrigued. He keeps eye contact. "Who? That redhead?"

Dazai scoffs and rolls his eyes. "Hell no."

"Then who?"

"C'mon, guess,” Dazai says, Apparently, he’s gathered enough energy to mess him with. Kunikida will take it, it’s a good sign.

"I have no clue, Dazai. Tell me," Kunikida huffs, exasperated. He turns his attention back to dressing the IV catheter on Dazai’s hand, which he’s almost finished with. "I don't even know that many Port Mafia dogs by name. Akutagawa is the only one I can think of."

Dazai tilts his head to the side with a cheeky grin. The washcloth starts to slide down his face.

"You're kidding,” Kunikida blinks, reaching back up to fix it. “Stop moving so much.”

"Not kidding."

"You've known him the whole time?" Kunikida exclaims. He feels like he should be angry, but somehow it makes sense. Dazai always seemed a little too eager to brush off any mention of the so-called Hellhound of the Port Mafia. Kunikida thinks he even recalls Dazai slipping up and mentioning a detail about him that none of the rest of them knew, but that memory was lost to him until now.

"I couldn't tell you I knew him. That'd give me away," Dazai shrugs, this time, seemingly making an effort to keep his head still.

"Your information would've been helpful, though," Kunikida grumbles, attaching the line to Dazai’s hand to get the fluids going.

"You knew everything you needed to know. He's a Port Mafia attack dog and he'll kill anything he sees," Dazai says incredibly casually.

"And you've known him since he was fourteen, huh?" Kunikida asks, sitting back in the chair as he crosses his arms over his chest.

Dazai's expression changes, but it's an emotion that Kunikida doesn't quite recognize. "Mhm."

Kunikida can't really fathom any of this. A sixteen-year-old Dazai with a fourteen-year-old Akutagawa is just something his brain can't even picture - both of them younger than even Atsushi is now. Dazai having any connection to someone as cold-blooded as Akutagawa doesn't make any sense to him.

When he looks over at Dazai again, his eyes are lost. He's somewhere else. Kunikida doesn't know what life was like for him in the Port Mafia, but it can't have been good. He was already a major alcoholic by the time he joined the Detective Agency, and Kunikida still remembers the shiver that ran up his spine when he saw how thin he was under his clothes. He still doesn't eat meals regularly out of habit, it's something that Kunikida almost has to force on him, but he’s gotten much better about it.

Whatever happened to him damaged him much more than anything Kunikida could ever hope to fix on his own.

"Are you okay?" Kunikida asks him.

Dazai lifts his head with wide eyes like he's been caught doing something he shouldn't. "Huh? Oh, yeah."

“Let me get your temperature,” Kunikida says, taking the thermometer from the drawer out of the case. He sticks it under Dazai’s tongue for a few seconds and it ends up reading 102.3. That’s not horrible, but it isn’t good, either.

He looks back in Dazai’s direction to find that look in his eyes again, but this time, some of the color has started to drain from his face, and he notices him swallow thickly.

"You look nauseous," Kunikida comments.

"Uh-huh," Dazai mumbles. He burps into a closed fist and groans. "Need the pan."

Kunikida feels awful for him. Yosano couldn't give him a thing for his nausea because vomiting would actually help his specific situation according to what Yosano gathered, so he's probably been feeling horribly nauseous this entire time. Kunikida doesn’t see a bedpan in the drawer so he takes the trash bin and holds it under Dazai’s chin as he tries to sit himself up with a whine.

He spits into it, saliva getting caught on the sides as he huffs out breaths. He lays a hand over his stomach and groans. “Ugh…”

"Empty?" Kunikida asks. He can’t imagine he has much left in his stomach.

"No," Dazai breathes out, to Kunikida’s surprise, "won't come up."

Kunikida sighs. Of course. "Want me to help you?"

"Please," Dazai whines. He burps, and it sounds wet, but all that drips from his lips is saliva. "I suck at doing it myself, I… hrruk -"

A gag that brings up nothing, and Kunikida realizes he really will need help.

He's done this before. He's probably a pro at preventing overdoses because of Dazai, but this here isn't a life-or-death situation, at least.

He doesn't bother with gloves because he knows he'll wash his hands regardless, and he slips a hand past Dazai's saliva-coated lips, his other hand on the back of Dazai's neck to make sure he doesn't jolt back when his hand gets back far enough.

His mouth is warm, the insides of his cheeks are so soft. He’s trying to ignore the thought, but Dazai looks hot like this. His eyes red and tired, lips wet and almost swollen, cheeks flushed. Kunikida feels something he shouldn't in that moment, and he gets far enough back without realizing, and hot vomit spills over his hand without much warning.

It's not much. It's water and charcoal and bits of whatever is left in his stomach from lunch dripping down Kunikida’s hand and into the bin. Dazai whines and spits the bits left in his mouth into the bin. He breathes heavily over it and Kunikida haphazardly covers his hand in a layer of paper towels to avoid dripping Dazai’s stomach contents onto the floor on his way over to the sink, but he stays for a moment to make sure Dazai’s okay.

“Hurts,” Dazai groans. He burps over the bin, but of course, nothing comes up. He lays back but he holds onto the bin.

“I know. I’m sorry,” Kunikida sighs. He wishes he could do more to help him. “Will you be okay by yourself for a second?”

“Uh-huh,” Dazai murmurs, leaning back and pressing his hand against his stomach.

Kunikida remembers there’s a splatter of puke on the floor and on the cot Dazai was previously resting on that he needs to clean, but right now, he’s not keen on leaving Dazai out of his sight for too long. He washes his hands a bit longer than he needs to, and looks over his shoulder to check on Dazai one too many times - he hears him burp and gag a few times, but once Kunikida is on the way back to him, he’s laid back all the way, eyes screwed shut and breaths heavy.

Kunikida places the bin back on the floor as he sits in the chair again. He looks over the fluid stand and Dazai’s hand to make sure everything is still properly attached before he leans forward to flip over the washcloth on his warm forehead. “I’ll check with Yosano to see if there’s anything I can give you for that fever.”

“I just want my stomach to stop hurting,” Dazai whines, but he really sounds like he’s in pain.

“I know, Dazai,” Kunikida sighs, Yosano already told him that will have to wait until he gets an antidote. “Maybe we -”

“Can you…can you check on Atsushi for me?” Dazai asks, forcing his eyes open to look over at Kunikida. Kunikida finds it a bit out of nowhere. “Please.”

“I can do that,” Kunikida says. He hasn’t heard from Kyoka. Junichiro texted Kunikida a while ago to let him know he and Naomi would check in with the two of them occasionally to make sure they were doing okay, but that was all. He pulls out his phone and dials Kyoka’s number.

“Hello?” she answers nervously.

“Don’t worry. I’m just calling to make sure everything’s okay,” Kunikida says. He lowers his phone and puts it on speaker for Dazai to hear. “How’s Atsushi doing?”

“Kunikida? Is that you?” It’s Junichiro’s voice. He hears some shuffling, and suddenly Junichiro’s voice is much clearer. “Kyoka had to knock him out a little bit ago. He couldn’t sleep ‘cause he was so anxious. He was making himself sick.”

Kunikida’s shoulders sink. “Anxious about what?”

“He’s worried about Dazai,” Junichiro says a little more quietly, and Kunikida watches Dazai tense up in his peripheral. “We kept telling him he’d be okay. And you said you’d call if something went wrong, but…we had to use the last resort.”

Kunikida bites his lip as Dazai turns his head away.

“But I think it was good for him. He’s been sleeping well since then, maybe we should’ve knocked him out sooner,” Junichiro half-jokes. “Is Dazai doing okay? We’re worried too.”

“He’s doing fine,” Kunikida tells them. He doesn’t want to lie and say he’s better, but telling them how he’s really feeling will only worry them more. “Nobody needs to worry. We have everything under control and they’ll both be good as new once Yosano gets ahold of that antidote.”

They exchange a few more words before Junichiro tells him they should get to sleep too, and Kunikida realizes he’s probably in the same boat as Atsushi - he won’t be able to sleep in favor of worrying about Dazai, but he can’t sleep even if he wanted to. He has to make sure he stays stable until Yosano gets back.

Once he hangs up, Kunikida reaches to lay a hand over Dazai’s arm, but the way he’s breathing - so calmly - tells Kunikida that he’s fallen asleep. Kunikida almost has to wonder if he was getting himself that worked up over Atsushi in his fevered brain.

Kunikida gets him hooked back up to all of the necessary monitors while Dazai drifts off into a deeper sleep, and he changes the washcloth on his forehead, too. He looks so much more relaxed. His eyes aren’t screwed shut so tightly. He looks like he might actually get some good rest.

Kunikida presses a kiss up to his forehead before he changes the washcloth, and he sits back in the chair beside Dazai’s cot as he cracks open the report and gets back to work.

…

The rest of the night went by more smoothly than Kunikida could have asked for. He’s usually not a fan of pulling all-nighters like that, but he got caught up on the work he missed through yesterday’s situation. And even better, Dazai slept through the night.

“I have to pee,” Dazai mumbles as soon as he wakes up. The staff have started to file back into the building, Kunikida can hear it from across the hall, and the light has started to spill through the windows back into the infirmary.

Kunikida sits beside him on the cot to help him up, making sure Dazai doesn’t have any room to do another sprint across the infirmary like last night. He’s looking better, but he’s downright exhausted, shown in the dark circles under his eyes. It’s still obvious he doesn’t feel good.

“You won’t carry me?” Dazai pouts.

“Do you need me to? Or do you want me to carry you?” Kunikida huffs as he snakes an arm around his waist to help him up on his feet. His legs are still a bit wobbly, but he gets his footing, and uses the fluid stand pole for support.

“Want, need? What’s the difference?” Dazai complains with a dramatic sigh. He can tell he’s feeling better with how absurd he’s acting, but his fever is still there, Kunikida can feel it on his skin. “I want you. It’s that kinda sexier than saying I need you?”

Kunikida keeps a hand on his back as he leads him over to the restroom. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Hehe. Love you too,” Dazai jokes.

Kunikida makes sure he doesn’t need help going to the bathroom before he closes the door, and he busies himself with changing the sweat-dampened sheets on Dazai’s cot while he waits.

He’s surprised to see Atsushi standing in the doorway, looking horrified to see the cot empty.

“Relax, he’s just in the bathroom,” Kunikida says, dropping what he’s doing to meet Atsushi at the entrance, but the deep concern doesn’t leave his eyes. “What are you doing here, Atsushi?”

"Is he still not doing well?" Atsushi murmurs nervously.

"He's improved," Kunikida assures him with a hand on his shoulder, "You look much better. How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," Atsushi tells him. Kunikida won't take his word for it, he's not usually very honest about this kind of thing. He looks better than he did yesterday, but he can tell just by looking at him that he's nauseous with anxiety, just like Junichiro described last night. He takes note of the way he's breathing through his mouth instead of his nose to avoid the antiseptic smell.

"Don't worry about him so much. He's survived worse, hasn't he?" Kunikida reminds him with a chiding sigh, regardless of the fact that he's just as concerned. He can't pass those feelings on to Atsushi, especially knowing they had to knock him out last night to get him to sleep.

"I guess so," Atsushi murmurs.

"Who told you to come in today? You should still be resting," Kunikida tells him. He knows Atsushi came of his own accord. He’s here much earlier than detectives usually need to be - he probably snuck out.

"Um…well, no one, I just…I just wanted to make sure he wasn't…" Atsushi mumbles.

"I'll call you if something's the matter. Go back home, no one needs you sitting around here with how you’re feeling," he sighs, landing a hand on Atsushi’s back and walking outside of the infirmary with him.

Atsushi doesn't seem to be paying attention entirely, and Kunikida almost starts to scold him for not listening before he realizes that he's lost a lot of color in his face, enough to make him think he's about to throw up. Atsushi is much more aware of it than Kunikida, obviously and he bolts for the trash bin right inside of the infirmary to retch and gag once or twice before vomit spills past his lips. He’s shaking, breathing hard and clearly anxious, but thankfully, he seems to have only needed to vomit once. Even so, he coughs and forces a burp or two just to make sure.

He crouches down in front of the bin and leans his head against it, still visibly shaking. He's not in nearly as rough shape as he was yesterday regarding this. Atsushi doesn't seem to mind other people throwing up at all, but if it's himself, he almost makes himself even more sick with anxiety. Yesterday he was too out of it to really take in what was happening, but now he's fully lucid.

"I guess - this whole thing is a, uh…a good way to get - get over this," Atsushi stammers between shaky breaths, of course, still trying to keep a positive attitude. Kunikida can hear his breathing patterns start to get erratic with panic, and he hears him attempt to swallow back a gag.

"I'll be right back. Stay here,” he tells him after patting his back and heading back for the Agency Office, where Junichiro has since appeared with his sister.

"Tanizaki, can you take Atsushi home?" Kunikida asks. Normally he wouldn't bother a detective with a task like this, but he'd rather Atsushi be with someone familiar while he's feeling so anxious.

"Did he show up? With how he’s feeling?" Tanizaki asks, concern already washing over his face as he gets up from his desk. Kunikida assumes he and Naomi went home after Atsushi fell asleep. "He's still sick?"

"I think part of it might be nerves now. I don't need him hanging around and worrying about Dazai," Kunikida says, and Junichiro follows him back out into the hallway.

Atsushi is sitting against the doorframe with his knees pulled up tight against his chest and his head on his knees, mumbling something to himself.

"Hey, Atsushi, let's get you downstairs, yeah? You should go home and take days off when you can get them," Junichiro tells him gently as he crouches beside him. Atsushi seems to have given up on his image entirely as he leans into Junichiro. The latter's brow twists with concern and he brings him into a hug, and Kunikida quickly realizes that Atsushi’s crying. "I know. You'll both be okay soon. I'll see if Yosano can get you something to settle your stomach when she gets back, okay?"

"Kay," he mumbles into Junichiro's shoulder.

"Good. I know you hate it, but you're doing a good job," Junichiro tells him in a gentle voice that Kunikida doesn't think he'd be able to pull off. He ruffles his hair fondly. "You know how seasick I get, right? You're handling this way better than I do."

"I am…?" Atsushi murmurs, lifting his head just a bit.

"For sure."

Junichiro is much better at this than Kunikida is in general.

Kunikida waves both of them off as Junichiro leads him back to the elevator, continuing to talk to him gently, and Kunikida shakes off his concern for Atsushi as he notices his shoulders relax before they disappear behind the elevator doors.

Kunikida walks back into the infirmary and stops in the doorway to find Dazai peeking out of the bathroom like he’s checking if the coast is clear.

"What'd you do to that kid to make him worry so much, huh?" Kunikida sighs.

"Beats me," Dazai half-chuckles, clutching onto the IV pole as he walks out of the bathroom, looking less wobbly than before, but Kunikida still meets him to walk him back to his cot. Kunikida can see the hint of concern in his eyes, but Dazai doesn’t show it for long. "He went home?"

"He did," says.

"Hope he won’t be that upset when I finally end it all,” Dazai says, singing the words at the end.

“Well, he will, and so will everyone else, so go ahead and cancel your plans now,” Kunikida grumbles when they make it to the cot. He’s bewildered by Dazai’s audacity to say things like that sometimes, but he thinks he’s so disconnected from the reality of it that he just doesn’t understand. “You’re still dizzy.”

He observes that when he lowers him back down to the cot and Dazai’s head bobs a bit, just before he lays him back down. He’s not so pale anymore, thankfully.

“‘S not a big deal,” Dazai says. His head sinks back into the pillow, and he’s relaxed, Kunikida thinks. He’s not as tense as usual.

"Yosano should be back soon," Kunikida tells him. “She texted me earlier.”

"Mm," Dazai hums as his eyes start to fall shut again.

Kunikida lays a hand over Dazai's cheek. He's still warm, but he thinks his fever has gone down a bit. He’s hoping he’ll get the clear to get Dazai to eat something once Yosano is back. Kunikida probably needs to grab breakfast for himself, too.

"What'd I do to you?" Dazai suddenly asks with a dry, one-note laugh, just as soon as Kunikida takes his hand back.

Kunikida feels his ears get hot. "What do you mean?"

"You're more worried than Atsushi is," Dazai tells him with a little chuckle, thoroughly amused. "And you know how hard it is to kill me."

"I'm not worried," Kunikida scoffs. “Just making sure you don’t die. Do you know how annoying that paperwork would be? I have to pick up enough of your slack as it is.”

“Sure, Kunikida, whatever you say,” Dazai giggles to himself, “You love me. You took such good care of me and you’re so worried about me you can barely stand it.”

“Fine,” Kunikida grumbles, crossing his arms over his chest. His face is red beyond belief, he’s sure.

“Say it back!” Dazai whines.

“You didn’t say you love me!” Kunikida shouts back at him with a groan. “How do you think this works, you idiot?!”

“But I do,” Dazai claims. His eyes soften, but there’s still a hint of that cheeky grin left on his lips. “I love you, Kunikida.”

He almost sounds sincere. “Fine. Fine, I love you too.”

Dazai looks incredibly accomplished, meanwhile, Kunikida wishes he could duck his head underwater. “You’re cute when you’re embarrassed.”

“Go back to sleep. You’re so annoying,” Kunikida grumbles, “you’re sure not acting like you were poisoned yesterday.”

“Aw, that’s mean, Kunikida. I still don’t feel good,” Dazai whines, and even though he’s just using it as leverage, Kunikida feels guilty, because it’s obvious he doesn’t feel good. “Will you lay with me?”

“Not a chance, Dazai. I’m not risking falling asleep and Yosano walking in,” Kunikida grumbles, rubbing his eyes as he slides his glass up on top of his head. His lack of sleep is starting to catch up with him.

“Aww, please? You’re tired. And I need comfort. It’s a win-win,” Dazai explains, but Kunikida shakes his head at him.

“I can comfort you from here,” Kunikida tells him. He takes his hand and squeezes it a little tighter than normal. He’s so thankful Dazai’s doing better. He’s not sure what he would have done if he took a turn for the worse. “I’ll lay with you tonight when we go home.”

“Your place?” Dazai asks.

“Pretty sure yours is a mess,” Kunikida confirms. He reaches forward to brush his fingers through Dazai’s soft curls, still damp with sweat at the roots. Dazai lets his eyes fall shut. “Don’t scare me like that again.”

“Mmm…no promises,” Dazai says quietly, and Kunikida squeezes his hand one more time as a reminder. Dazai may not be able to make that promise, but Kunikida will be there with him every time. He leans forward to press a kiss on his warm, flushed cheek.

And of course, despite his efforts to avoid getting caught, he hears Yosano’s voice, already giggling.

“Kunikida?”

#hehehehehe #this one was so fun #also sorry i had to throw in some atsushi angst i like making him suffer for some reason #my poor baby #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #atsushi #dazai #kunikida #junichiro #kunizai #kunikidazai #kunidazai #why they have so many ship names #sickfic #illness #fever #emeto #emetophilia #emetophobia #vomiting #nausea #poison #poisoning #medical trauma #hospital themes #ao3 #fanfic #fanfiction

[chr0n1c-ag0ny]

dazai using DPT to ground and relax after a long day and just having kunikida lay on top of him, and while Kunikida's just sprawled out on top of him, he's looking up at him (which is kinda hard cause they're cheek to cheek) like "Hi 😁😋😚" and has his arms wrapped around Kunikida and keeps kissing him cause he can, and Kunikida is like "hello darling 😌☺️😚" and just leans into the kisses. Kunikida loves it so much.

#fluffy nonsense #based off of my daily routine of dpt and cuddles and kisses with my partner #cause they deserve it #I put them through so much angst #but this was nice #right? #so nice of me #(angst is coming later dont worry) #bsd #bungo stray dogs #bsd dazai #dazai osamu #dazai bsd #kunidazai #kunikidazai #kunikida bsd #bsd kunikida #kunikida doppo

[psylunari]

Hey! Would you look at that. Guess I sneezed (for four months straight, but shh), and another fic for this pairing is out.

I'm glad to announce my first Kunikidazai longfic: Dazai, Kunikida, Age Fourteen. It was first inspired by this fanart by bird app user KevinnScottland. TL;DR, what if these two met as teenagers?

The summary:

August 31st, 2003. Doppo Kunikida ditched his bike. He returned home awaiting a storm. Quickly, fearlessly, at the end of the summer break. Someone was in his way. A dustrag of a young man, with an empty stare and a sharp tongue. In the hostile, chaotic city, that was an unwise approach. Doppo offered him his umbrella. Choices are intriguing.

This was for the BSD Big Bang 2023, in partnership with PocketCultist on AO3 (who might release fanart as my teammate) and @chaoticquill as my beta reader for the English version. Be sure to check the event page, too! Teamwork for fanwork.

There is also a Brazilian Portuguese version, which is the original one, in case you can read it.

The first chapter is a whopping ~20,000 words long. I'm trying my best to see it as a “long first episode”. It should be 31 chapters long.

This fic has no update schedule. I will post when I finish chapters. Updates will be announced both here and on my Twitter account.

Fluff and angst, rated M at first. There are going to be additions to the tags/warnings and rating changes. More on the author's notes.

#bungou stray dogs #fanfiction #fluff and angst #bsd dazai osamu #bsd kunikida doppo #kunikidazai #kunidazai #kunizai #knkdz #kndz #jesus that's a lot of shipnames #bsd fic #psyluna.fic

[moranshand]

“Don't call me a Kunikida Kinnie„

But you are. You have your goals in life, you know what you want and what you need to do, what is the best to do. You have your ideals and you follow them strictly, if something gets in the way and it's wrong, if it feels wrong, you end it.

And I'm your Dazai, I'm here, knowing that I don't do all things I should, that I don't make the right decision. Knowing how wrong all the things I do are and how they will end up hurting both of us. I'm here to try my best just to see that it was never enough, that the processes I thought I was making was false and that we were doomed from the very beginning.

You will try to keep things right and friendly, not make each other even sader and all I will be doing is answering as if I'm fine knowing that I will scream at myself for all the things I did wrong the very same night, without you ever listening them. And I will end up thinking that even if I thought things were different this time, they weren't, that I lost you just like I lost every single thing in my life I ever loved. That it was all my fault for not being good enough for you and that I will cry my eyes out when being alone just to have the power to put a smile on my face and say “im fine„ when someone walkes pass me, or asks me how I am. I will keep thing friendly between us just because I don't want to let go of you, even if I have to, knowing that we were just not meant to be...

#bungou stray dogs #bsd #dazai osamu #osamu dazai #kunikida doppo #doppo kunikida #kunidazai #angst #bsd angst #dazai kinnie #kunikida kinnie

[lowkey-yyy]

Dazai ,,,angst again w the ada but this is more of a general hc.

I feel like Dazai tries so fucking hard to distance himself from everyone, he feels like an intruder among the ADA and while the ADA has done everything they can to make him a part of the agency he always pushes away from them. Dazai does want to be loved and cared for but he fears getting attached to them even more, he is haunted by connections of past and everything ripped away from him over the years.

He falls for Kunikida and cares for Atsushi and Kyouka but he doesn't want them to hurt when he inevitably dies or leaves them due to circumstances. He cannot bear the idea of Kunikida grieving for him or any of them and while that nagging part of him says that they don't care about him and would be better off without him he still keeps a distance. Its not just for them, he feels selfish for wanting to be with them forever, he doesn't want to let go of his family here but he worries that maybe he will ruin everything. He is a pessimist when it comes to connections truely, he sits out in the rain to avoid the cozying up agency when the concern worsens after he is injured and if he scratches at old wounds no one will see him.

He is tired of running but hurting others to save them and himself is much easier than the opposite, the agency still pursues these connections as they chase him through it all and all of his attempts. Many times he has been left to bleed out and yells and lashes out on anyone who comes to help, he doesn't want to be touched, heard or felt in those moments. Dazai would gladly give up himself or anything to ensure them a happy safe life but unfortunately that is an unreasonable request, so he sticks around no matter how sick or injured he stays close to protect them from hits. He doesn't realize how badly him sacrificing himself against anyone at the smallest threat hurts the others, how Dazai using himself as a shield with no regard for his own safety breaks their hearts.

Dazai has patched himself up too many times to count until he gets tired and eventually they notice and for the next few days its quiet, they are doing their best to protect him without him noticing it is love and care for him. Kunikida massages his head and brushes his hair so gently on those days and sometimes even if Dazai denies the reaction of little bits of affection he gets from his partner he deeply enjoys it. Small notes and reminders to kisses on the head and tight hugs, Dazai adores it but it is such a terrifying feeling especially for a man who easily gets confused by someone sincerely asking how his day was as if its ridiculous anyone might care for him the littlest bit. Naps together are Dazai's favourite, he was never held so gently before Kunikida came along.

Yosano has had many stressful days of worrying over her coworkers wellbeing, he happens to throw himself in front of guns and into lakes so she does her best to figure it out from clues of how he walks and how he sits. She keeps stupid little snacks around for him from crackers to little oatmeal cookies to slide to him, she worries because this man can work for days straight and still say he doesn't need help or rest. To be completely honest he scares the shit out of her when he does all of that, she notices extra bandages and slight winces all the way to slight picking and scratching, but there isn't much she can do as he avoids her office like the plague and seems nervous around her. Yosano can only watch with a concerned gaze.

Ranpo gently encourages Dazai to actually make bonds with demands he cannot refuse, because he is Ranpo after all. He will drag Dazai from bakery to bakery to prove his points and make sure the brunette is actually communicating with them. He tells Dazai and Atsushi to go get him ridiculous requests just to get the two to talk like mentor and mentee, he knows that Dazai loves the ADA and is just stuck in this position of avoidance when it comes to actually opening up. Ranpo is proudest of getting Fukuzawa and Dazai to bond, he sends them on grand adventures to meetings and picking up things when the president isn't busy.

Despite it all Dazai fights it, but the ADA will not go down without a fair fight. They will get him to feel fully safe with them one day and maybe get him to let them help when he needs it, they are determined.

#ada dazai #ada angst #ada is family #bsd dazai #dazai bsd #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungo stray dogs dazai #bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #kunikida bsd #bsd yosano #bsd ranpo #bsd fukuzawa #dazai x kunikida #kunidazai brainrot #kunidazai #kunikidazai #kndz #kndz my beloved #armed detective agency #armed detective agency loves dazai #kunikida loves dazai #bsd kunikida #bungou stray dogs kunikida

[sky-drgn]

Remember Us (Part 2)

Genre: Hurt/Angst Ship: ??? x Dazai (Not Reader) Word Count: 390 Note: Found out the ship in this part! Despite my editing, there may still be grammar/spelling mistakes. Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3 - Ending 1 - Ending 2

Even more dangerous than working for the Armed Detective Agency is working for the Port Mafia. Nakahara Chuuya joined the Mafia when he was fifteen. He had seen his fair share of injuries and deaths. Experiencing many injuries himself. Most being the cause of his own ability. But he always had his former work partner - now life partner - there to help him. They helped each other. Chuuya and his partner hated each other with every fiber of their being. Despite that, the love they share is deeper and more extensive than anything in the mortal world.

Chuuya’s life partner? Dazai Osamu. 

Chuuya knew when Dazai lost his memory immediately. Thanks to his gravity manipulation ability, he had been able to eavesdrop on the agency when they were talking about Dazai’s condition. He never expected to be without his husband of four (almost five) years for nearly a year. 

Not a soul knows they are married. It is their best-kept secret. Neither would allow the other to be used against the other for the sake of their jobs. They could get out of just about any situation by themselves, sure. But they wouldn’t need to be in that position in the first place if no one knew. With this, their penthouse became their own little world.

Inside the penthouse, work was forgotten - unless one of them needed comfort, advice, or a warning of being late. They were just Osamu and Chuuya. Chuuya and Osamu. Husbands. They could do anything, say anything, wear anything; they could pretend they were the only two people in the world.

Chuuya found that world so incredibly empty and distant without Dazai.

Now Chuuya did try to help Dazai recover older memories. He would leave items around where the older (Chuuya) knew the younger (if only by a couple months, Dazai) would see. This was never a situation they thought could possibly happen, so they never discussed what to do if this happened. Chuuya decided that it was best if he only helped from a distance. It wasn’t like he could go up to Dazai and tell him they are married and had been for years. No one would be able to back that up. Even their wedding certificate was out of the country for safekeeping.

Chuuya lost hope when Dazai agreed to the date with Kunikida.

BSD Master List - Part 1 - Part 3 - Ending 1 - Ending 2

#bsd chuuya nakahara #bsd chuuya #bsd dazai osamu #bsd dazai #dazai x chuuya #soukoku #hurt #hurt no comfort #angst #chuuya x dazai #bsd kunikida #bsd kunikida doppo #dazai x kunikida #kunidazai #chuuya 🥰🥰🥰 #dazai 🥰🥰🥰 #sky's writing ⛅

[knockyasocksoff2022]

IDEALS [kunikidazai]

(A/N: I've been palying around with ship names for these two and came up with Ideal Human because together these two make one perfectly functioning person. Kind of like how Tachizaki is Midwinter Snow because if their abilities)

SUMMARY:

Dazai Osamu is the farthest possible thing from the ideal woman Kunikida Doppo has written so much about in his notebook.

And yet . . . Kunikida is hoplessly in love with him anyway. Kunikida doesn't belive he has a chance with his coworker, I mean, have you seen the way he flirts with women? Straight as the rulers Kunikida used to use in his maths class.

Dazai meanwhile is also inlove with uptight but still charming coworker. But how can Dazai ever come close to the woman Kunikida has in mind?

Will these two damn idiots figure their shit out or not? God, I hope they do, for all our sanity!

(Summary sponsered by Edogawa Ranpo)

Categories: angst, fluff, getting together

Warnings: N/A

Thank you to @wildroseroguefor inspiring me to write Kunikidazai for the first time. Rose has lots of Kunikida content on her blog, check it out.

#bungou stray dogs #bungo stray dogs #bsd #kunikidazai #kunidazai #Ideal Human #knkdz #kunikidazai fic #kunikidazai fanfiction #kunikidazai fanfic #kunikidazai angst #kunikidazai fluff #kunidazai fic #kunidazai fanfic #kunidazai fanfiction #kunidazai fluff #kunidazai angst

[spookyavenuestreet]

Can we PLEASE talk about BEAST KuniDazai, it makes such good angst material- THEY MAKE ME SO ILL!!! (T0T) /pos 🗣KUNIDAZAI NATION RISE UP RAHHH‼️‼️‼️

#bsd #bungou stray dogs #bsd fanart #bsd fandom #bungo stray dogs #bsd beast #bsd dazai #bsd kunikida #bungou stray dogs kunikida #bungou stray dogs dazai #bungo stray dogs kunikida #bungo stray dogs dazai #kunikida doppo #dazai osamu #doppo kunikida #osamu dazai #kunidazai #digital art #digital artist #artists on tumblr #Spotify

[autistic-ranpo]

(IF CONTEXT WLD HELP U DECIDE BETTER JUST SHOOT ME AN ASK 🫶🫶)

#kae's nonsense #SORRY I KEEP DOING THIS I NEED WIP MOTIVATION 😭😭 #my silly little writings #bsd #bungou stray dogs #osamu dazai #sigma bsd #kunikida doppo #chuuya nakahara #chuuya bsd #kunikida bsd #dazai bsd #soukoku #skk #kunikidazai #kunidazai #sigzai

[zukkaoru]

Do u have any kunidazai or kunichudazai fic recs at all? Seeing ur posts I wanna dip my toe in but would love to read any faves u have also!!

YES YES YES most of these will be oneshots bc that's mostly what i read + rated t or g unless stated otherwise. the rest are under the cut bc this got (expectedly) long lol

kunidazai:

let Hope die by degradedpsychotic

Dazai smirks at him, in the process of filling the rice cooker. "Need help?" Kunikida exhales, and it takes the form of a bitter laugh. "That's all I ever need anymore."

4.3k words, post-decay of angels arc. dazai and kunikida are learning to navigate the world with injuries that they will never fully recover from (dazai w chronic leg pain + kunikida w chronic hand pain)

the tragic (pony)tail of dazai’s downfall by sarcoline_sails

five times Kunikida has his hair down, and one time Dazai ensures it stays that way.

6.6k words. exactly what it says on the tin

Piled Up by KhaoticEnby

Kunikida gets sick in the midst of a busy time at the ADA. Dazai, just back from his mission, tries his best to help him

3.4k words, established relationship

sure it's a calming notion (perpetual in motion) by saffroncassis

the one where Dazai digs himself a hole, and then just keeps digging deeper.

5.3k words. instead of admitting he likes kunikida, dazai says he just wants to have sex with him. because when has dazai ever been honest about his feelings? (there's no smut, but there are references to and jokes about sex)

but in that uncertainty, i found you. by warsfeil

In which everyone gets injured and two inept individuals wonder about the meaning of partnership.

3.4k words. dazai gets injured and kunikida worries; then kunikida gets injured and dazai worries

kunichuuzai:

thin ice over a monstrous depth by luminariums

Chuuya and Dazai are fifteen years old when Kouyou insists they learn the art of dancing. It shapes the way Chuuya views his relationships - until Kunikida comes along and flips his whole world upside down.

8k words, chuuya-centric, part-character/relationship study and part-getting (back) together. this fic focuses mostly on the kunichuu and skk dynamics since it's chuuya-centric but ohhhh it is. SO good

all brutal mirrors cracked by intimatopia

The one in which Dazai and Kunikida are swapped into each other's bodies by a mirror, and then their day gets worse.

12.4k words, dazai pov with established skk. THIS FIC. oh my god this fic i read it through like 3-4 times within the first week i found it. it's such a fascinating take on the body swap trope with good angst and a happy ending. i can get really picky with dazai angst but this. this fic. this fic does it RIGHT.

Listen to Your Heart by 4_the_tainted_sorrow_21

Kunikida gets used as a pillow for his boyfriends, but he finds he doesn't mind it very much.

1k words, kunikida pov, established kunichuuzai. very short and very sweet. they just get to cuddle <3

Cover Me In Chamomile by ChaoticQuill

Kunikida has a bad day, and his boyfriends take care of his portion of the chores.

6.7k words, kunikida pov. getting together/developing relationship + domestic kunichuuzai

A Trick of the Tongue by AbsoluteNegation

“Just because I lie all the time doesn’t necessarily mean it’s my fault I was cursed to tell the truth,” Dazai said indignantly and automatically. They both sat there while that statement unfurled its full glory before them.

47.5k words, 9 chapters, dazai pov. part character study, part getting (back) together. dazai is cursed to tell the truth, which he takes exactly as well as you would expect. but everything works out in the end <3 warning: this fic is rated e with smut in chapter 8 (i believe it's just that one scene with implied/referenced sex in the epilogue/ch9 but the smut can definitely be skipped)

and idk if you've read them or not but here are my fics as well:

warm leftovers

after the threesome, kunikida and dazai take chuuya home

2.1k words, chuuya pov, established kunidazai + pre-kunichuuzai. personally one of my favorite bsd fics i've written i think

desperate prayers of a cursed man

dazai can't remember the last time he slept through the night. if anyone were to ask, he'd say it's not a problem. but when the rest of the world is asleep, humanity is a hard thing to come by.

4k words, mostly a dazai character study with background established kunichuuzai tbh

though i burn, how could i fall?

kunikida assumes the position of agency president. somewhere between shaking hands, pastry boxes, and dazai leaving the door open, he learns leadership also means knowing when to take a step back and trust others will help you shoulder your burdens.

8.8k words, kunikida-centric. spawned a series that currently has two other fics but since this is the first, it can easily be read as a stand alone. features kunikida with hand tremors and dazai with chronic leg pain + crutches

if you look back and you hate my past

dazai contemplates his (lack of) humanity while kunikida tends to his wounds

3.3k words, dazai character study, pre-kunidazai with nods towards past skk. i wrote this after i finished reading dazai's entrance exam light novel and had a breakdown

the sound of love 

kenji gets sick. luckily, he has a lot of people who are looking out for him.

4.5k words, kenji-centric with established kunichuuzai mostly in the background but there are soft and sweet moments with them so i'm adding it too

i'm probably forgetting other fics i've read and enjoyed but this is long enough as is so i'll just leave it here skgfhgjhk hopefully you can find some stuff in here that looks interesting 🫶

#i'm actually not kidding when i say i think about all brutal mirrors cracked All The Time #i think that fic permanently altered my brain chemistry #everything on this list is good obviously but there is just Something about that fic that makes me go crazyyyyyyy #anyway! i hope you enjoy anon #asks #anon asks #fic rec #kunichuuzai #kunidazai #bsd #TUMBLR STOP MESSING UP FORMATTING WHEN I POST CHALLENGE

[gay-snufkin]

kunidazai angst is finally here!!!

this took longer than i wanted, but tbh i like it a lot. they just have so much angst potential i can't stop thinking about them

#bungou stray dogs #kunikidazai #kunikida x dazai #bsd fanfic #my writing #kunikida doppo #dazai osamu