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viperwhispered · 1 month

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Too Hard

Woop part 2 of the trip inside Jamil's head. Part 1 here.

The next time Jamil caught sight of you on campus, his first instinct was to turn around on his heel.

What a stupid thought to have because of you.

Besides, that would only make him more conspicuous, not less.

So, when your eyes met his, Jamil gave you a short nod in greeting. He would’ve left it at that and kept on his way, had you not walked up to him.

“Hi Jamil! How’s it going?” you said with that impossibly disarming smile of yours.

Why was it so difficult to look at you like he normally would? You had no right to make him feel so stiff, so unnatural.

On autopilot, Jamil exchanged a few pleasantries with you - those lessons from his parents had been instilled too deep in him for him to falter too badly in a simple exchange such as this. Still, Jamil quickly excused himself by telling you he still had to find Kalim before his next class.

Jamil didn’t miss the way your smile faltered. Had you hoped to get something out of him?

“Oh, okay. I’ll see you two later, then.”

Something about that irked him, though Jamil did not allow himself to dwell on it further.

His heart really had no business still racing as it did when he walked away, unaware of the frown on his face.

Just act normal. That’s all he needed to do.

After all, he had no time for dwelling in silly fancies.

If Jamil had been acutely aware of you before, it only seemed to worsen now that he was making a conscious effort to not act any differently with you. In fact, the harder he tried to keep you out, the more you invaded his thoughts, unsettling him.

The most innocuous words from you looped in his mind, and even the simplest actions caught his eye. For goodness's sake, he’d found himself staring at you while you were queueing up in the cafeteria the other day, not even doing anything other than standing around and looking bored!

For once, Jamil found himself grateful for all his duties. At least they provided him with something else to occupy himself with.

After all, if he was busy enough, it was difficult to think about those bright eyes of yours, your sweet laugh, or the way you bit your lip while thinking.

Still, sometimes it felt like no matter which way he turned, you were there, ready to throw him off-kilter. Not like it was his fault that often the most convenient route to class intersected with your daily routines. Or that your face seemed to jump out from any crowd, catching his attention.

Which certainly did not help his basketball performance. Jamil certainly did not recall you having such an interest in sports before, yet suddenly you were always there, distracting him. What had changed?

Could you possibly-

Jamil scoffed to himself, forcing his thoughts back on track for the nth time that day.

He picked up the tray of food and started taking it to Kalim. After dinner, he’d need to help Kalim with his homework, there were some housewarden tasks that would need dealing with, not to mention the preparations for the next-

Jamil froze in his tracks.

The voice he heard was quiet, but it was unmistakably you.

Really, it should not have come as such a surprise to him. You had become a rather frequent visitor to Scarabia, and Kalim often invited you to stay for meals. In fact, Jamil had started planning the dorm’s meal prep with your tastes and dietary restrictions in mind, just in case.

Jamil rounded the corner with strange exhilaration, his heart fluttering needlessly.

Yet, his mood evaporated when he saw you.

Why did you stop talking and look so guilty as soon as you caught sight of Jamil?

Jamil knew that look you gave to Kalim, had used it himself a thousand times. The one telling Kalim to keep quiet about something.

What could there possibly be that you would be comfortable sharing with Kalim, but not with him? That would give Kalim reason to sit so close to you, a comforting hand on your shoulder?

Jamil's mind raced with possibilities, yet could not settle for any single explanation.

He’d have to ask Kalim about it later.

Jamil gave you a short, polite greeting, his eyes lingering on you in an attempt to read what you were hiding.

“If I’d known you were coming over, I would’ve prepared something for you to eat as well,” Jamil said, already thinking about which parts of the dorm’s dinner to spruce up for you.

“Oh, no need, just figured I’d pop by. I’ll get out of your hair soon enough,” you said, something sheepish about your expression.

As expected, Kalim asked you to stay and dine with them, and with just a bit more persuasion you agreed - though not before telling Jamil that he should join you too and have himself a breather.

And since Kalim agreed with you, Jamil soon found himself sharing a meal with you and Kalim. Yet, even as he sat down with the food, his mind raced.

Had you been getting particularly close to Kalim lately? But surely Jamil would’ve noticed such a thing. Maybe someone from the dorm had been giving you trouble? But if that was the case, then surely you could let Jamil know about it, too. Unless for some reason you did not want to? But if it was something that concerned Kalim, then sooner or later it was bound to concern Jamil, too.

All the while, Kalim was talking to you about this and that, the latest topic being the animals kept on the Asim estate.

“I’ve got some pictures, let me show you!” Kalim said with an excited grin.

Only, a thorough patting of his pockets and a look around confirmed that Kalim’s phone was nowhere to be seen.

Jamil pinched the bridge of his nose. Where had Kalim left it this time?

Before Jamil even had the chance to say that he would handle it, Kalim sprinted off. Jamil hesitated for a moment, automatically halfway up from his seat, before he decided that leaving a guest unattended would be a worse offense than not helping out his master.

Jamil slumped back down with a sigh, mentally tracing the path Kalim took today, trying to recall the last time he saw Kalim handle his phone.

“Breathe. He’ll manage,” you said. There was the faintest of smiles on your lips, and Jamil could not decide if it was knowing or amused. Perhaps both.

Somehow, despite his frustration, Jamil’s own lips wanted to curl up too.

“Hmm. Maybe he will.”

Sure, Jamil could’ve called Kalim’s phone, to make it easier to find, but it was not that urgent, was it?

Jamil took another bite of his food, keeping an eye on you from the corner of his eye.

How was his mind so empty and so buzzing at the same time?

“You know-”

“So-”

You looked at each other, both just as surprised that the other had spoken up at the same time.

Even your surprised look was so-

“You first,” Jamil said. The way you bit your lip... Jamil had to raise a cup to his lips, slowly sipping his drink.

“Just… Feels like it’s been quite a while since I’ve seen you be still, you know. Or exchanged more than two words with you,” you said. You were attempting a light, joking tone, yet it was quite clear there was more to it.

“You say that like it would be unusual for me to be busy.”

He was not prepared for the way your soft sigh tugged at his heartstrings.

“No. It is not.”

You were both quiet after, poking at your meals. Normally, Jamil would’ve cherished such a moment of peace, yet this particular silence between you two was decidedly awkward.

Where was your usual chatter? Why weren’t you looking at him like you usually did?

“If you’re worried about me, don’t. I’m fine,” Jamil said, some softness creeping into his tone despite his best intentions.

“That's what Kalim said too,” you said. Yet the way you looked at Jamil made it clear you were still skeptical.

Wait.

Had you clammed up earlier because it had been Jamil you had been talking about with Kalim? That Kalim had comforted you about?

The thought twisted his stomach into knots.

Eta: you can find part 3 here. Hasdhfsdf the way I fought with that last scene I swear. I don't even want to know how many versions I went through, trying to figure out how to say what I wanted without rubbing it into your face or making it too veiled. The joys of trying to convey things through a limited pov. Hopefully it came out reasonably balanced in the end. Rip to all those sentences that were lovely on their own but didn’t work for the whole. Hopefully I can rehome y’all one day. I do have thoughts for part 3 and part x (might be some chapters between those two as well, who knows at this point), so maybe we'll see those at some point, too. Tag list: @colliope @crystallizsch @diodellet @jamilsimpno69 @jamilvapologist @twstgo If you'd like to be tagged for future works, let me know! (Just be aware that sometimes I do also write nsfw, though you can certainly ask to be tagged only for particular kinds of works.)

#twisted wonderland #jamil viper #twisted wonderland x reader #jamil viper x reader #ner writes #jamil definitely knows how to deal with his feels #also writing this is making me wonder how aware jamil is of his inner versus outer life #like he’s very aware of how he comes across because that’s what he’s been told to watch out for #but how well has he truly learned to understand himself and his own feelings wants etc?#(I mean as you can tell I’m assuming not very well)#originally this went to more of a “jamil hears just the wrong part of the conversation” route but #a) I kinda hate that trope especially when it’s dragged on beyond belief and #b) Kalim maybe doesn’t want to spill anyone’s secrets but he really is such an open book especially with Jamil so #also it’s not like jamil needs the extra help to catastrophize he already does that well enough on his own 🙃#tho then I went a little too far in the other direction and had to pull back #but let's just hope I didn't edit this to death by now #also also: since I seem to have a bit of a naming theme going on for this series #if I were to be the sort to go for the angst route what part would definitely be titled Too Late or something along those lines #also x3 but loved folks commenting on that part about reader being inoffensive in the first part #I certainly had fun writing that line #(and in general extra love to everyone who leaves comments on tags replies wherever always great to read those)#(and in general chat with y'all)

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dreamsy990 · 2 months

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some of the less nice thoughts about being aroace

extras below the cut

sketch

closeups on my favorite panels

bonus: adios

#doodles #kingdom hearts #roxas #axel #olette #aromantic #asexual #aroace #do i tag pence. hes in the background of one panel #ehhhh sorry pence no tag for you #also not tagging soriku and namixi #i mean by the logic of 'theyre in one panel so i wont tag them' i also shouldnt tag axel but. he has dialogue so #anyways i have a very irrational love of olette whenever i need a random side character in a kh comic? olette #i think she uses webmd. anyways im done talking about olette #so let me clarify about this comic #im aroace. this is all just things ive thought before #im not saying in any way these thoughts are real. theyre just thoughts #thats why it ends with 'but there isnt. its just me.' there IS nothing wrong with being aroace. even if it feels like it sometimes #im not trying to send a message im just trying to express a feeling ive had for a while #anyways. the aroace community is super positive and i like that. but not everything i feel about it is that positive #sometimes it feels like im missing something yknow #this comic seems like its about roxas. but its about me. congrats youve been fooled #drafted something similar to this for aro week but didnt finish it in time so this is spiritually part of asaw 2024 #btw sorry im not posting as many drawings lately #schools kinda stressful im pretty tired and busy most the time #i am throwing this drawing to you like a slab of meat to a pack of hungry dogs. take this meager ration in these trying times #alright i think thats it bye now

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randomminty · 2 months

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Not to be heretical in a Miku house, but any chance for some love for vocaloid Luka?

Shes my favourite so yes of course. heres luka <3

#dont be fooled i know so embarrassingly little abt vocaloid #i know the basics. but i feel like i shoudl know more <\3 #i listen to vocaloid know and used to a bit and play. p. pro. projecft sek . i cant say it #but thats kinda it. also the official designs translated into prsks artstyle look. 😔😔😔😔😔😔 yeah #art tag #vocaloid #luka megurine #hey. i drew her headband thing wrong. if you love me you wont look at it #ask tag #megurine luka

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54625 · 2 months

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people can keep coming up with angsty headcanons about why qPac passes out (crashes) so much- like he's got low blood pressure from not eating properly or he's exhausted from not sleeping properly- and I accept that

but to me he's just that one character in a kids movie that keeps getting injured as a gag. like he's just constantly tripping over roots and whacking his head off the ground, birds just constantly seem to drop rocks specifically on his head, people just keep inexplicably slamming doors into his face without realising it. qPac is just such a cartoon character to me I'm sorry

#ah the age old question- character angst or funny gag? tis a tough decision #qsmp #pactw #qsmp pactw #qsmp headcanons #if i can rant a tad bit here for a second - I'm not really huge on angsty headcanons or fan content about qPac I'll be honest #so much of his character and story in canon itself already feels just like.. idk how to explain it. misery porn?#he's sad and traumatised and things just keep going wrong for him #it gets a little tiring after a while #I'm not a huge fan of stories where the entire point is EVERYTHING SUCKS <an insane sentence from a WH40K fan but that's besides the point #anyway point is i like letting qPacs character breathe a bit #there's more to him than being the resident sad boy #and i don't love treating him like his only character trait is being extremely unfortunate cause it's just kinda boring #i don't have any huge moral problems with it it's just kinda boring #pactw tag

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basu-shokikita · 1 month

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skwistok where toki compartmentalizes his adoration and resentment for skwisgaar is so good. toki having a shrine for skwisgaar where he collects pictures that he cut from newspapers and magazienes, stuff he stole from skwisgaar's room and his own skwisgaar crafts only to roll his eyes and talk back when skwisgaar scolds him. toki having a fanaccount for skwisgaar and one where he bashes him and logging on either to post depending on his mood. toki daydreaming of skwisgaar being nice to him while also being fully ready to take skwisgaar down at the slightest opportunity. toki being simultaneously skwisgaar's biggest fan and hater without perceiving the contradiction in his behavior because he's too used to his lifestyle. toki being equally capable of loving and hating the guy because a part of him can't help admiring him and the other is permanently bitter for the way he's treated by his idol.

#toki wartooth #skwistok #metalocalypse #basu post #i forgot my tags fhjdsjhsd #when people say that toki hates skwisgaar like...not wrong...but he also wants him so bad is the thing #toki is entirely capable of the full spectrum of passion towards skwisgaar #he feels everything for him #thats it #kinda wanna write a fic abt this kinda

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shadow-the-crow · 30 days

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I think i finally understand how the Distortion works. I mean, i don’t think it’s possible to ever fully understand it, and i don’t know the whole picture yet because i don’t know what Helen will be like, but i feel like i’ve just been granted a glimpse at the lovecraftian (as in ineffable) thing that is this being.

It’s not a person and a creature fighting inside one mind. There’s no Michael clawing himself to the surface to express his emotions and get his revenge.

Michael Shelley is dead. The Distortion became Michael. It sounds so simple, yet a least in my opinion it’s hard to fully understand.

I think what provides the best metaphor is a small thing the Distortion says after becoming Helen: "without a proper mind." The Distortion does not have its own mind. It’s only a what, but in order to really exist in this reality, it needs a who. It needs a body, but also a mind.

So if i understand this right, it’s like this: Michael Shelley is dead. His conciousness is not there anymore. And the Distortion got forced into that mind, an empty mind of a dead person. This doesn’t make it human, it’s still able to understand the impossible, it’s still the thing that was created to scare and kill. But in the mind it’s living in… the previous owner’s furniture is still there. It gets the dead person’s memories. It becomes Michael, in the sense that it has to be someone. Its existence got tied to being Michael, although Michael Shelley is dead.

When Michael got "emotional", that wasn’t Michael Shelley coming through. It was the Distortion grappling with the side effects of being someone - of living in a mind with all the memories and the human emotions that a human mind can’t fully turn off, even when the thing inhabiting it isn’t human at all.

The Distortion was Michael in the sense that it was thinking with Michael Shelley’s mind. When it became Helen, its consciousness, its being stayed the same, but it needed to adapt to this new mind. It could see clearer now, realizing that the windows of the previous house had been dirty, realizing that the wirings of the previous mind had driven it to do something that it actually didn’t want to do. The throat of the Spiral itself getting caught in the spiralling of its own, borrowed mind.

#here comes the first michael essay #this is only the start #i've still got so many more thoughts #i hope this makes sense #idk why but i think i get how the distortion feels #being forced to be someone who isn't you at all #like - it doesn't make sense but i get it??#okay i haven't watched doctor who but maybe it's kinda like being the doctor?#you kinda change personality and become someone else but your true being stays the same?#(as if anyone of us knew what it's like being the doctor any more than we know what it's like being the distortion lol)#tma #michael distortion #tma the distortion #helen distortion #the magnus archives #tma podcast #tma spoilers #tma thoughts #mag 101 #another twist #michael shelley #i just realized i've probably spelled michael wrong in the tags before oops (i know how it's spelled but “micheal” keeps popping up so...)#you know what i'm gonna put the wrong version too for reach #micheal distortion

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whereismyhat5678 · 2 months

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OOOOHHHH PIZZAHEAD HAS A CRUSH ON PEPPINO- *get zap by his laser beam*

owie

Guys I think he likes Peppino- 👀

#Pizza Tower #Ignore the tags if you just wanna see funny art <x]#I haven’t answered asks for so long guys. I’m so sorry 🙁#I’m thinking of just answering requests when I have the motivation to do it. I swear to all the asks that were sent in December I really #hope this doesn’t bother you 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️#Idk I think I’m just kinda loosing it towards answering requests- They’re fun don’t get me wrong! But I feel like it’s something I HAVE to d #I’m probably gonna answer them one at a time. That way I don’t feel as stressed about it #I hope this doesn’t kill your guys mood.#Pizza Head #Also so real anon #Anon ask #ask

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shootinwebs · 1 month

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"charlie and vaggie's relationship is boring, it's too perfect, there's no conflict--"

who hurt you

#chaggie #hazbin hotel #plus i mean.. not really?#no such thing as a perfect relationship i dont think #but they have disagreements just like in any relationship ever #like vaggie is visibly unenthused by charlie more than once and there's nothin wrong with that #(spoilers in the tags ahead)#plus i feel like that was kinda the whole point in a way #their relationship was maybe meant to *seem* perfect at first but #probably was just b/c vaggie was witholding a huge part of her life #and thats why the big reveal hurt their relationship so bad (temporarily)

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simcardiac-arrested · 1 year

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hopefully NOT broken this time……. the moment you’ve all been waiting for…….. tumblr user simcardiac dash arrested posting the local group (tm)!!!

#in terms of ages ns is younger than soar and older than fta #and nwb is younger than fta and older than son. so unfortunately he’s not the real babyman of the group #i really hope no iterators start going through mitosis again or i might seriously become the joker and delete my tumblr account #anyway. happy with most of the designs especially wt and ris and soar. i like their colors (ris doesn’t get a colored name bc he’s mean L)#(and also because tumblr text doesn’t have that color L)#i like cd’s design because it’s funky. and i vaguely like son they’re just kinda vibing i think #STILL not sure about fta so feel free to go bonkers in the tags to prove me wrong. once more #these guys have made me struggle for too long. i need to go kill #myart #oc: weaving tales #oc: recognition in spirit #oc: cognitive dissonance #oc: spins on axis rapidly #oc: fates torn again #oc: speaks of nothing

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shower-phantom-ideas · 7 months

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Yall know how danny ends up with an Ice Core instead of lightning and we are all mostly salty about it? Im here with a theory to give us some imaginary closure.

Ghosts can’t have cores based on how they died. Ember fire? She actually died of food poisoning.

Skulker (even though I think hes just a blob and never was a like person) is a hunter? (Not really a core but stfu) Activist for the nature and just fell into a cave and died of dehydration/starvation.

Walker the warden (not really a core power more like obsession again)? Got hit by someone running a redlight while he was jaywalking.

Johnny really unlucky? Killed by a his college professor.

Why these some what random things? It’s what could have saved them from their deaths without being overly pointed to them (aka causing trauma)

If Ember had cooked that food longer she probably would have not even gotten sick.

If Skulker knew anything about the wilderness he probably would have figured out that even though the water in the cave is moving it’s still not safe to drink smh.

If walker or that driver had followed the laws then he wouldn’t have died

If johnny was just a bit more unlucky to have missed the shuttle bus or to not be the random student that teacher picked he would have survived.

Im like 10% sure ice could have some how saved danny too but idk man. My brain says that ice conductive and would have some how saved that dingus. Maybe if Danny was a little bit cooler he wouldnt have tripped and hit the on switch lmak

#danny phantom #ember mclain #skulker #walker #johnny 14 #stupid hc #im boiling my brain in a shower atm #trip is sad cause I feel so bad for canceling an evening I planned with my dad cause he was so hyped for it #but he keeps hijacking all of our time and it kinda sucks #it’s just three days and I only came to eat at one place dad #sorry not sorry I am not here to visit you #why sont u visit me since u make 6figures hmmmmm 🤔#hes so desperate too cause out of my siblings im the only one to talk to him #and I told him to die once so like it’s sad for him #I don’t feel bad for that though #he did me pretty wrong when he kicked me out #anyway #ignore my tags

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boom33713 · 6 days

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projecting my aroace experience on my fav character is hilarious actually. not only because using them as a lens for my own experience is highly entertaining but also because it fits so fucking well im not even kidding.

#also because i can express my most embarassing moment ever wherein one of my two best friends (who i thought i had a crush on)#(both of them. i thought i was crushing on both of them)#fucking CONFESSED FEELINGS for me (!?!) and i was like ‘…thanks’#standing there coming to the earth-shattering revalation that Oh Fuck i DONT have feelings for them #aroace cringefail moment 😔#learning that a common aroace thing was thinking youre bi via tumblr was so funny bc you would THINK i would have had that moment #yknow considering one best friend was a guy and the other a girl #but NO. it passed right over my head fucking entierly and i didnt once think anything remotely along that kinda line #i DID have a ‘huh am i poly?’ moment but nothing else #WHCIH ALSO FITS THE FAV CHARACTER !! hysterical #idk i guess ill tag this #aromantic #asexual #(tumblr stop reminding me of the time i spelled asexual wrong challenge)#aroace

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medicbrainrot · 11 months

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i don’t wanna be here when you lose control

An awkward silence had taken over the room Task Force 141 was occupying when Ghost and Jaguar (Simon and Artemis) had gotten into a heated argument during a briefing meeting for an upcoming mission.

Ghost gritted his teeth. “Why do you always go on these off-topic tangents?! This is important!” His icy cold stare went right through Jaguar, putting a bit of a chill in the air.

“I’m sorry, but sometimes I get off track!” She says defensively.

“That is not good enough! This is important!!” He stalks closer to her, still gritting his teeth. His eyes look as angry as ever through the mask.

“We are not continuing until you realize that what you are doing is disruptive and wasting time!” His tone is cold, and his stare is even colder.

As his anger builds, his tone becomes even more harsh, to the point where he is almost yelling at Jaguar.

“Sit. Still! This is important! Now, can we please keep focus here!?” He grits out loudly.

“I CAN’T HELP IT! I HAVE ADHD!” Jaguar shouts.

Ghost growls and steps closer, putting his face right in front of hers.

“I said SIT STILL. This is IMPORTANT.” He said furiously.

His words shut her up immediately, and Jaguar didn’t move a muscle or say a single word throughout the rest of the meeting.

When the meeting was over, Ghost turned to Jaguar one more time.

“I trust you understand the gravity of this now.” He said coldly, before walking away without another word. He’s absolutely livid, but he needs to calm down.

The next few days, the base feels awfully quiet as the team prepares for the mission.

Ghost himself is as silent as ever, hardly speaking to anyone, and keeping mostly to himself. It seems like he’s mostly gotten over the argument with Artemis, but he’s still a little pissed off about it.

No one really knows what’s going through his mind, but they’re all keeping an eye on him in case he snaps.

Artemis, in a similar vein, has been more withdrawn than usual, and barely gives more than one or two word responses when spoken to.

Simon picked up on Artemis’ behavior, and realized that perhaps she’s feeling the same way he is: guilty.

He knows he shouldn’t have snapped at her the way he did, but he couldn’t help it.

After a brief moment of pondering, he decides to go find her and try to make it up to her. He gathers a few of her favorite snacks into a little bag, and heads to her room, hesitating before knocking on the door. “Artemis?”

After a few more knocks, Soap pokes his head out from his own room next door. “Jaguar’s not here, LT.” He says.

Ghost sighs internally. “Where is she?” He asks gruffly, even though internally he’s feeling guilty. His body language still reads frustration, but he manages to calm himself down so he doesn’t snap at Soap.

“Last I heard, she was headed to the firing range.” He supplies helpfully.

“The firing range?” Ghost asks.

Soap nods in response.

“Okay.” Ghost nods, hanging the little bag of snacks on Jaguar’s door handle before turning to leave for the range.

As he approaches the firing range, he can hear shot after shot being fired, in an even, precise rhythm. He slips on a pair of hearing protection headphones, and enters the range to find Artemis there, firing at target after target in pure anger and frustration.

She’s got her own hearing protection on, and it seems like she’s settled into a rhythm of firing round after round into the targets, quickly changing the mag, then continuing to fire.

Ghost approaches Jaguar carefully, getting closer with each step. He finally speaks when he's close enough she’ll be able to hear him over her protective equipment.

“Artemis?” He says, trying to keep a sense of calm in his voice, despite what happened the other day. “I came to apologize.”

“It’s alright Lieutenant.” She says stiffly, without turning around.

His tones soften a bit, not having expected forgiveness so easily. “Are you sure?” He pauses and lowers his voice a bit. “I shouldn’t have yelled at you like that…We disagree sometimes, but you didn’t deserve that.”

“It’s fine.” she says, equally as stiff as the first response.

Ghost stands in silence for a moment, before taking a deep breath. He’s not sure what else he could say to make things right between them, but he knows he has to do something.

“Are you absolutely sure it’s alright?”

She fires the rifle again. “It’s fine.” She says again. She has yet to turn around, and her voice remains awfully stiff.

Simon begins to worry that it’s not all fine. “I don’t like you sounding so stiff.” He says, notes of concern filling his voice.

He takes a step closer to her, his tone trying to remain soft and gentle. “Artemis…”

This time, she sets the rifle down and finally turns to look at him, slipping off her hearing protection. Her eyes are red and puffy, and now that she’s not holding the rifle, he can see that her hands are shaking. “I said it’s fine Lieutenant.”

An awful sinking feeling settled in Simon’s stomach, almost like he was sick. He knew immediately that he had to do something in order to fix this. All he wants is to comfort her, but he has to know where to start. He slipped off his hearing protection before speaking.

“No, it’s not. What’s wrong Artemis?”

“If you’ve come to yell at me to sit still again, don’t worry. I’ve been working on it the past few days.” She says, gesturing to the destroyed targets downrange.

Simon looks at the targets, concerned by the mess, horrified by the realization that he was the cause. He takes a deep breath before speaking. “Artemis, I haven’t come to yell. I’m so, so sorry for snapping at you the other day.”

He pauses for a moment, trying to put himself in her shows. “Do you…want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know…I might go on another tangent…” She says flatly.

His tone softens some more, he can tell that she’s very bitter. “Artemis, you can tell me anything you want. What’s on your mind?” He asks, trying to show that he is being genuine, and won’t criticize her for going on another ‘tangent’.

“What’s on my mind? What’s on my mind!?” She exclaims, as she presses her hands tightly into her eyes. “What’s on my mind is I’ve been trying to figure out for weeks how to tell my boyfriend I have ADHD, only for it to slip out in an argument and then have him use it against me. That’s what’s on my mind, Simon.”

‘Oh god.’ Simon thinks to himself. ‘That’s what’s been keeping her up at night?’ Simon hasn’t felt this awful in a long, long time. He’s horrified that he’s done this to her. “I’m sorry…”

“It’s fine.” She mumbles, her hands still pressed tightly into her eyes.

“Artemis…” He takes a few tentative steps closer, putting a hand on her shoulder and turning her to face him more.

“I didn’t mean to attack you like I did. I was wrong to do so, and I was wrong to not consider the consequences. I’m so, so sorry for my actions.”

“You’re not the first one.” She mumbles, lowering her hands from her eyes. “I’m surprised you haven’t broken up with me yet.”

“What do you mean?” He asks, his eyebrows raising under his mask. “Did I make you feel like breaking up is the only option?” He’s shocked at the possibility, a look of worry on his face. “Artemis, breaking up with you never even crossed my mind. Are you serious?”

“My last boyfriend broke up with me a few days after I told him, said I was too much to handle.” She says, a few tears escaping her eyes.

Artemis’ words cause Simon to feel another wave of guilt wash over him. He had no idea this wasn’t the first time she was treated this way, and it made him feel so much worse, knowing that he was one of the people who caused her pain. “He was wrong…” Simon starts gently. “He was wrong. You’re not ‘too much to handle’, Artemis.” He pauses. “You’re perfect just the way you are, I promise.”

“That’s not what you said when you yelled at me…” She says with a flat affect.

A look of guilt passes through Simon’s eyes, and he drops his head as he tries to come up with a response. “You’re right. I didn’t say that. I essentially said the opposite, something cruel, that I shouldn’t have said. But, Artemis…” He pauses, his tone getting soft again. “What I said was wrong. You deserve to be treated better than that… I’m sorry.”

Artemis shrugs. “It’s my fault for fidgeting during a meeting.”

“No Artemis, it isn’t.” Simon sighs and rubs the back of his neck. “You have ADHD. It’s something you can’t control. You deserve to be treated with love and respect, and you shouldn’t have to be shamed simply because you don’t act how others might want you to.”

“I wish that conversation had gone differently.” She sniffles, as a fresh wave of tears fills her eyes.

“I do too, Artemis.” Simon steps forward and hugs her tightly, trying to comfort her. “Is there any way I can make it up to you?” He asks gently.

“I don’t know. My brain is so fucking scrambled.” She sniffles.

“Scrambled?” He asks gently. “Why? Do you feel anxious? Do you feel overwhelmed?”

“I don’t know what I feel right now. There’s too much going on in my brain.” Artemis says.

“It’s okay, It’s okay to not know, love.” Simon says softly.

“It’s not okay! I keep fucking up because I can’t get my fucking brain under control!” She yells, exasperated.

Simon flinches slightly when she yells. “What do you mean by that…?” He asks cautiously. “How have you been messing up?”

“I talk too much, I fidget too much, I annoy everyone around me because I’m too much. I have seventeen trains of thought going in my head at all times and I don’t know where any of them are fucking going!” She shouts.

It takes effort from Simon not to jump when she shouts again. He takes a deep breath before speaking, trying to calm his nerves, so that he doesn’t say something that might hurt Artemis further. “Artemis…If I might speak bluntly. It doesn’t sound like you’re the problem here. It sounds to me that your previous exes were too harsh to you…” He says gently.

“It’s not just my exes. My friends, my teachers, my parents. I feel like I’m gonna go crazy if I have to be still and quiet but there’s nothing I can fucking do about it!!” She tries to take a breath. “It’s always, sit still, stop talking, stop fidgeting, stop bouncing, stop shouting, you’re being too loud, you’re being disruptive. Everything about my existence is annoying and yet I can’t seem to SHUT THE FUCK UP!!!”

Simon’s eyes go wide at the outburst, but he manages to keep calm and keep holding Artemis tightly. “Artemis…” His tone remains gentle, and he realizes what he needs to say. His own trauma is screaming at him to not go near this, but he knows that right now that’s not the answer. He takes a deep breath and starts softly. “I think I understand what happens when you get overwhelmed.”

“What.” She says in a small voice.

He can hear the pain in her voice and it makes him feel even more horrible for speaking so harshly to her. He rubs her shoulder gently, trying to comfort her. “Your mind feels like it’s being attacked by constant thoughts, and you feel like you might explode if you don’t do something…And you feel like talking and moving helps you, even if just for a little bit.”

“Pretty much. I didn’t get diagnosed until I was 22, but it made so much sense.” She says quietly.

“Artemis, I’m so sorry you’ve had to go through this like that. Nobody should have to feel like they’re not allowed to speak or move. You have every right to speak and move around all you want. If anyone else tells you otherwise, they’re wrong.” His voice grows even softer. “You are not too much.”

“Even when it’s you telling me to be quiet and sit still?” She asks.

“That’s on me. That’s me being inconsiderate, and it’s me being wrong. I can’t apologize enough for that. I’m sorry Artemis, I didn’t mean to hurt you.” He says softly, hoping she understands.

“It’s okay.” She says sadly. “You didn’t know…”

“Artemis, I still shouldn’t have treated you like that, regardless. I’m just…I’m sorry I didn’t realize something sooner.” He says gently. “If I could go back and undo what I said, I swear I would. But I can’t. All I can do is apologize and make sure I don’t do something like that again.”

“I wanted to tell you sooner… I just….didn’t know how…I felt like there was never a right time…” She says as a tear slides down her cheek.

“It’s alright.” Simon says softly, swiping away the tear with his thumb. “Don’t beat yourself up over it. I’m the one who reacted poorly. It’s on me to learn, not on you to do something you aren’t comfortable with.” He holds her tighter, trying to express his love with the hug.

Artemis leans into the hug, burying herself into his chest. “I’m sorry for avoiding you.” She mumbles.

“It’s alright to ask for space after an argument. It just means you want time to cool down.” He says reassuringly. “If you need more time to process, I’m alright giving you whatever you need.”

“I don’t want more time to process. I haven’t slept in two days. I just want to go to bed.” Artemis says, trying not to cry.

Simon nods, pulling slightly back from the hug. He looks down at Artemis, still feeling guilty about how he hurt her. He can now tell how tired she is, and how desperately she needs sleep.

“Okay, I can help with that. Do you need anything before you go rest? Water, a snack, anything?”

“A snack would probably be good. I’ve been here at the range since early this morning.” She yawns. “Maybe…maybe, after I’ve slept, we can talk some more about this?”

Simon gives Artemis a warm smile. “Of course, take all the time you need, love.”

He releases her from the embrace and turns to go get her a snack while she cleans up her stuff at the range.

“Simon, wait.” She calls out.

Simon stops in his tracks, turning around to face Artemis again. “What is it, Artemis? Was there something else?” He asks softly.

She steps forward and lifts his mask to press a gentle kiss to his lips. “I love you.” She says softly.

Simon is caught a little off guard by the kiss, but he quickly recovers. He leans into the kiss, and pulls away after a few seconds, smiling warmly at her. “I love you too, Artemis.” He pulls her into another gentle kiss, holding her close. “I love you… more than you could ever know. Never forget that.”

A/N: Thanks for reading! Likes, reblogs, and feedback are appreciated!

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