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#kind of like how that one weird image of a cat from an old painting is just called ''blort cat'' to me
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lucalicatteart · 11 months
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Finally finished my weird hanging painting thing (originally a secondhand partially-done 'paint by numbers' kit that I found at a thrift store and kept to repurpose lol)! Imagery somewhat based in my own worldbuilding projects, and text written in my constructed language for one of my fantasy species, but also vaguely inspired by old tapestries and illuminated manuscripts and etc. I've never been great at neat clean patterning or text, but it looks cool from afar, and I always enjoy making "props" or things that are somewhat like real objects that might could exist in my world. :0
(additional pictures/info under the readmore)
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Here's what it was originally! I probably didn't have to actually have a river running down the middle because it further makes the composition of the whole thing weird (various connected yet separate locations and things happening, instead of one unified event being portrayed), but I wasn't sure if I'd be able to fully cover up the already existing paint that was there.. and I can also kind of justify it by going with a more "all the imagery is just symbolic so it doesn't have to make exact sense" approach lol.. How is one half of the grass green and the other is suddenly snowy? shhhh.. it's not literal.. shhh...
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Made a vague sketch, then painted over it, and then added more distinct lines in black pen. Center image first and border second.
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The very last thing was the text, which actually took forever to translate because my conlang is still only like.. partially done, and some of the grammar is not worked out exactly how I would like it to be, so a few sentences I had to think about for a long time before just going "eh, this is probably not how I would do it if I considered it more, but I'll go with it for now" lol . I also am not entirely satisfied with all of the characters for the writing system, but again, it's good enough for a quick project, it doesn't have to be 100% accurate and perfect because it's a fake language that nobody knows anyway lol.
I thought about breaking down the text and translation here like I have for some of the tidbits of Avirrekava (the language) in things I've posted in the past, but I think it would take too long and is not interesting to anyone but me ghghj, so for the sake of getting the post out quickly, I shall not spend an hour typing All That lol.
The general jist of the writing though is that it's just about the Avirre'thel being cast out from the other elves, after abandoning their magic for immortality as a means to truly attain perfection (an important concept in elven culture), the usual, blah blah blah, but how it's Actually A Good Thing, because the gods are wrong and immortality is Cool actually and they like the shitty frozen lands they were sent to, so it's fine that everyone else is being a Hater about it lol
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Lastly, here's a few photos outside in the sun to TRY and show the gold detailing actually shimmering or showing up! It really doesn't come through in photos, but there's plenty of little golden spots to highlight light or Importance.
Mostly the fire, the pink sparkle that represents magic, the red drop that represents blood, the light behind Inaashi's hands and head (common symbol for the elven religion/one of their main gods, shout out to anyone who read the ancient elven religion post and recognized that lol), the sun, and the symbol for the Avirre'thel/country of Navyete at the very top. I did a few other gold bits, but they're not highlighted because they're Significant, more just that it looked more symmetrical to have some gold on the border too lol.
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Other things of note: The animals are not actually significant to Avirre'thel culture really, I just wanted to put a cat and a bird because I like them lol. (I also wanted to have a few funny looking creatures, as I was slightly trying to go with the 'in some old medieval painting the anatomy and perspective is very weird' vibe, though I think some of the other parts of it look too Normal to pull it off entirely). Same with the four leaf clover, which means nothing in their culture - but these are the only areas where stuff was just added self-indulgently .
Bligabata (giant cabbage that grows along rivers in Navyete) making an appearance! The architecture of the building IS based on actual concepts for ancient elven/older Avirre'thel architecture and metalwork. The Avirre'thel who's turning away from Inaashi/elves/magic and collecting blood, is doing so in a Special Bowl, as is part of their culture (collecting it in the hands, or just in a normal vessel would be disrespectful, they have Specific Bowls which is the only thing blood can be kept in, etc.).
The figure that represents Jhevona (and thus, a closer connection to magic, celestial imagery, etc.) is in weird ugly teal, which is not necessarily a color or design associated with them, as I don't have much common culture (like clothing) worked out for Northern Jhevona (who the avirre'thel would have come into contact with) yet, BUT everyone else is in more Typical colors (a northern elf in green, Inaashi in lavender + white + blue, an Avirre'thel in darker purples and reds).
Some things, like the four figures in the corners, and the two people + fish in the stream, do not currently have a meaning, but in-world they would.. Like, I could make up lore for how they're culturally significant and it would be true because I am god of the world, but I don't have anything currently. But just know.. they DO mean something, I just haven't decided it yet, maybe kind of fill in as I go, come up with a meaning later lol. Probably along the lines of an old myth from the ancient elven religion, a story, etc.
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I don't know, probably other stuff, but that's my Trying To Keep It Short rambling for now lol. I'm just glad I finally finished this! For how vaguely sloppy it is up close (everything being completely freehanded, only used rulers once when doing the initial sketch and lining where the border should be + my hands are shaky + the canvas is bumpy + my handwriting is scratchy and terrible + etc. etc.) it still took a REALLY long time, even when not trying to make it all perfect. Especially if including the text translation + writing, which took like 3+ hours itself.
Maybe all the asymmetry/lack of things being centered is NOT because I was too lazy to measure anything, but is actually because in-universe, it's a practice illustration made by some young apprentice who has to work on little canvases for years before he can be trusted will a full sized mural or tapestry. It's his first week on the job! of course he's uncoordinated! don't laugh at him!!! lol
#worldbuilding#elves#I AM WORKING ON A NEW PAVENTURE POST also !!!! I know I keep being like 'oh I'm going to get back to that! I'll stick to it this time!!'#and then another whole month goes by without me posting a new poll adventure - however - this time I DID fully intend to so#*do another one soon but my beloved beautiful perfect cat unfortunately passed away AND there was a heat#wave ANd I felt sick for a while for unrelated reasons so I just genuinely was not focused on posting online at all#I am trying to get back to it though along with other things hopefully so.#ANYWAY#avirre'thel#irithoas#maybe???? not super relevant to elves but I'll keep it intheir tag anyway also. Just since their lore is so closely tied with avirre'thel s#stuff and they're mentioned in the post. Or the gods are. Inaashi is.#OIGUGUGUGUHH I should have done a tapestry with the FCJhjkING triplets!!!!! Sehalanora Semoniyare and the other one whatever the hell#his name is. ... sehalanora my beloved .. (I'm referencing the ancient elven gods - for those who dont know)#It's funny that I rarely watch tv shows and when I do I rarely if EVER care about characters at all in any capacity#with maybe like a handful of even then extremely minor exceptions so I cannot relate to the concept of like 'having a blorbo' or whatever#but then for my extremely niche worldbuilding content#.. it's like OMG MY FAVORITE character!!! my favorite obscure god from a religion#that I entirely made up myself for a cultural group that I also made up that literally only I and maybe like two other#people who are able to sit through my novel long dry and wordy worldbuilding posts care about!! you all know them DUH!!#even WITHIN modern elven culture in the world at the moment in current day most people do not give a shit about them hghj#BUT .. I should have made a painting of the siblings actually!!! I stand by that!!#I mean I like Inaashi and Nisateyu and everything too. Actually all of them are fine except for Ea'ivuyera I guess. whoever the#like War and Order bootlicker god is basically. and the Evil dumbass one. but all the others are fine. I'm suprised I'm even able to rememb#that many ancient elven goofily long names ghgh.. But I could have maybe made it about the elven gods#The thing is just that.. i Don't have ancient elvish worked out as a language and I knew I wanted to put text on it#so it kind of HAD to be something written/drawn by the Avirre'thel#Knwoledge of the ancient elven gods is still a thing in their culture. But usually more as a joke or just a common fairytale knowledge#sort of thing. not really something to make a painting of. Inaashi is here less because of Inaashi The God being genuinely significant and#and more just she's there to Symbolize the elven religion as a whole. just like all the other figures are mere symbols of things. etc.
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courfeyracs-swordcane · 11 months
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Teddy... after being mutuals w you for who knows how long I NEED to ask... what does robobs mean? I've been paying attention to the tags on my notifs for a bit and I think that's the one thing I still have no clue about ahdkshfjshfjd
OH BOY! You’ve activated my trap card!
Short version: tag for me and the gang ( @nosongunsung11 @coyotefang1987 @wildfandom @lemonade-comet @dogliker73 )’s transformers ocs. When I first made the spreadsheet I titled it ‘Robobs’ and it stuck. In March we made a 120 slide power point explaining the lore and we’ve made like 20 new guys since then
LONG VERSION: (and I’m only getting into blorbos from MY brain bc there’s like 85 of these mfers collectively)(Guys who come in several separate-but-linked subsets)
(edit: now with images! picrews linked here, here, here, and here and art by @orange-artist/@nosongunsung11)
THE OGS:
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Packet and Pinch: (turn into biplanes) little guys who came after the war, them and their dad sometimes moonlight on a research vessel called Forte Spes where theoretically they’re archival assistants but mostly what that means is that Pinch holds the microphone during interviews because when Packet was allowed to do that he kept eating it. When they’re a little older Pinch gets a proper job on Forte Spes helping out and Packet joins the mafia/eventually winds up inheriting an organized crime unit and accidentally taking over a small city (think like JVJ’s Madeleine era except not on purpose)
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Hot Shot: (turns into a diy dragrace car) himbo. former Autobot soldier turned drifter (technically looking for one of his war buddies who disappeared but he keeps getting sidetracked) turned preschool teaching assistant on the moon. Frontman of a very small emo band. Meter’s twin brother, Aileron’s best friend, (Sweets isn’t mine, but) Sweets’s self-invited roommate (weird gay thing)
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Meter: (used to turn into a regular car, now functions as a speedometer)(also his name is actually Gauge, Aileron just started calling him Metermaid to make fun of him and it stuck) wildly normal little guy for being so fucked up. Got his face and hands and altmode taken by the government for being an anarchist in cop college. Spent the war on the world’s most legally questionable enemies to lovers roadtrip looking for his brother. Hot Shot’s twin, Aileron’s husband.
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Aileron: (turns into a massive fucking jet) pointedly neutral freelance journalist. Extremely chill and wildly pessimistic. Can and will befriend anyone with an unfortunate heaping side of terminal Everyone He Really Cares About Keeps Fucking Disappearing Into Thin Air disease. Spent the road-trip causing problems on purpose bc it was funny and also bc he was pretty sure Hot Shot was dead and he didn’t know how to tell Meter so he was stalling. Meter’s husband, Hot Shot’s best friend.
THE ANCIENTS:
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Catalyzer (Cat): (left)(turns into a shield except no he doesn’t anymore because he has daddy issues) fucked up old knight. Kind of a dick except with his knight partner and her spouse (the three of them come as a set do not separate <3) and with his little sister (150ft tall). Memory issues wildly exacerbated by the fact that he spent ten million years on the euthanasia planet. There’s a very good au in which he co-parents his nephew w his ex’s ex-wife.
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Firefight (FF): (turns into a flamethrower except no he doesn’t bc what if he fucks up his paint) Bitchass little twink. Catalyzer’s shitty ex who lobotomized him. The god of transformation’s special little boy and he’s gonna make it everyone’s problem. After the god war (during which he helped work on a large-scale lobotomy project that made everyone forget the gods) he realized that if there’s not gods to hang around he can’t get special treatment for being god’s special little boy anymore so he fucked off to live in a cave for ten million years and only came out for Cat’s little sister’s funeral bc he figured everyone who would have known him would be dead by now except spoiler alert no they’re not and he immediately gets his ass beat. We don’t have time to get into his wife.
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Moonshadow (Shades): (turns into a shuttle)(uses that to cause problems) Catalyzer’s nephew (she/her), troublemaking Weird Little Art Girl TM who’s constantly tagging along on any mission she can get herself into. Unfortunately that includes the mission that lands everyone on the euthanasia planet :(
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Equalizer (EQ): (turns into. Maybe a grenade. I haven’t decided yet) Firefight’s ‘apprentice’/weird intense son he didn’t ask for and doesn’t want and also is lowkey terrified of. Functions entirely on looney toons logic. Theoretically xey’re supposed to be helping FF w his lobotomies but he’s scared xey’ll be better than him and take his job so mostly xyr job is knocking people out with the blunt end of xyr Massive Fucking Scythe for their nonconsensual government-assigned brain surgeries and being generally unsettling. Spends FF cave arc waiting outside where he told xem to which xey're not fucked up about but it does make xem very much more fucked up.
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Legion: (turns into I don’t know yet probably an anvil or a lever): Little knight guy under the god of wisdom. Dumb as a box of rocks. Trying so fuxking hard all the time and not really getting anywhere with it but that’s okay. Loves his friends so goddamn much. Really fuckin stupid for a guy who kind of functions as the voice of reason in the polycule. Died on the euthanasia planet. :(
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Endymion: (turns into a unicorn)(but like the goat kind) goldenboy blacksmith, built to help the main god make guys, conscientious objector to the god war so now he helps out in the armory. Haunted as hell (just kind of vibing with it). Missed the mission that landed everyone on the euthanasia planet and got locked out of the armory :(
DECEPTICON HR OFFICE/EXTENDED CONSTRUCTION UNIT:
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Zephyr aka Dreadnought: (used to turn into a flashdrive, tried to do some sketchy ass back alley surgery to turn into something better and fucked it up so now he can’t turn into anything) edgy little goth twink lying wildly about almost everything abt himself. Former spy, current guy who sits in the corner of the office chainsmoking and giving off absolutely rancid vibes. He’s writing a memoir. (it’s bad.) Gets Fixed by the power of Carburetor going “wow, do you have any other slogans from like. Hot topic?” and is really confusingly normal at the postwar HR reunion/Hadron and his boyfriend’s impromptu wedding
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Carburetor (CB): (used to turn into a pickup truck, got exploded) readymade soldier who wound up taking over as mostly-untrained medic when the actual medic was killed bc he had spent a lot of time in the medbay recently (due to the getting exploded incident) and kind of osmosed hopefully enough to go off of. Takes no shit but has terminal “I Can Fix Him” Disease (both romantically and medically) but really he’s the one getting fixed—he has a hobby now! 😊 (it’s Zephyr)
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Hadron: (serial number ending in 0104)(turns into a crane) starry-eyed little science guy with a secondhand soul. Part of the construction unit and also working part time (illegally) in HR. Defected to the Autobots towards the end of the war and is now doing a goddamn lot of finding out for very little fucking around. Very easy to manipulate. Both has a missing boyfriend and is the missing boyfriend. Main character disease (affectionate but oh dear god at what cost)
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Reefer: (0100)(take a wild guess) de-facto leader/union rep of the construction unit by virtue of being built first. Doing his goddamn best but he’s fundamentally just a sillyguy. Also has a secondhand soul but he doesn’t know about it. Would do anything for his little guys. Sneaks Hadron his science magazines. Hazard’s qpp, Hadron’s bestie, other side of Rico’s coin. Died during the great latewar Construction Unit Defection.
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Hazard: (0101)(turns into a dump truck) absolutely fuckin massive very nice and kind SIC & emotional support of the construction unit. Also has a secondhand soul but it’s never really relevant. Guy who’s usually the one to talk to outsiders for the gang. Has never held a gun but almost got sent to the front lines of the war bc they’re Fucking Huge and hella shit was pulled to Stop That Happening (without them even knowing in the first place). Reefer’s qpp, Dyker (0102) isn’t mine and there’s a lot of lore but Dyker is their best friend (I think?). Dead. (Meter pushed them off one of the spires of Decepticon HQ bc they asked if he was okay and were a little too concerned)
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Ricochet (Rico): (0103)(turns into a backhoe) oh she’s so fucked up. She’s so fucked up. Also has a secondhand soul and she’s not really aware of that but she’s not normal about it either. Hadron’s older sister figure (derogatory), other side of Reefer’s coin (Threefer), imprinted hard on Dyker and took the Shit That Got Pulled really REALLY badly. Blames Hadron for Reefer’s death to avoid blaming herself. Was briefly a neutral medic but went back to the Decepticons real quick and took the ending of the war also incredibly badly. (And by incredibly badly I mean she got a group to try and restart the war and recruited a bunch of guys to try and replace her family and it’s Not Working)
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Chainlink: (turns into a tank)(attempt at replacing Hazard) Rico’s Fucking Massive SIC/de-facto bodyguard who’s really not jazzed about following someone else’s orders. Does it anyway out of… respect that she got there first (or something.) but makes it very very clear that Ze Would Kill Her (in a weird gay way) If Ze Got the Chance. (Ze is in fact given the chance and Doesn’t Take It. Neither of them are really sure how to cope with that). Died one time during the war but got better and is kind of an asshole about that. Mean sense of humor.
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Sprocket: (turns into a handheld cannon)(Hadron but Rico likes him) literally just a little guy. Built on Earth approximately three days before the war ended and doesn’t actually know what that means for anything. Definitely getting a little bit gaslighted here. Finds out abt that and is so betrayed/hurt/doesn’t know what else to do that he turns them all in and fucks off to actually see the universe and the planet outside the war and also go to robot law school. Does tech/support/recon for the squad’s endeavors and missions from a secret third location
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Roughhouse: (turns into a lifted ass Ford F150)(Reefer 2 smarter boogaloo) Sprocket’s bestie and everyone’s emotional support himbo and by emotional support himbo I mean this guy is treating this revolution like a kindergarten teacher. Guy who 100% tried to set up a sticker system to try and get Rico and Chainlink to be normal. He’s not even that invested in it he just thinks it’s funny to get Rico overly invested in things she’s Going to lose. Yes she’s his boss technically yes she forgets that sometimes (younger sister instinct). The fanciest and only prewar member of the gang. Former bouncer, early Decepticon recruit, current pacifist and backup guy.
THE SECRET OTHER OPTION:
Rudder: of Rudder and Oar fame. They don’t give a shit they’re just out there fishing. A lot of the time they wind up picking up body parts/people but that’s not what they’re fishing for so they just toss them in the back to sell to the mafia. Together they turn into a bigger boat.
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allerya-christinet · 1 month
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To fall for you
Allerya was a secluded Aasimar, one that never met one of her own and knew nothing more than to accomplish her mission with Faerun. Her life, lonely, bloody and indoctrinated left her nothing but a deep need to feel something else but the obligation to serve.
That's when that pale elf and his suspicious routine at night cought her attention.
AO3
Pairing: Astarion/Tav (Aasimar) (non tav named OC) Warning: None. Words: 2147
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Image: Mykiel, Allerya's guide.
Ch. 1: When the need was from her, not from an order.
Life as an Aasimar was… different, maybe just for her, maybe for every one of her kind there was. She didn’t know, never met another winged being as ethereal as her creators said she was.
She met a demon once, she thought it was one of hers, soon enough her guide screamed at her to kill it. It was weird, but the creature fought to kill her, so she did back and painted her hands with the burning blood of the demon that laid dead before her.
She learned about Avernus on her early years, then about everything else there was. At least what Mykiel considered “everything”.
She liked to wander around at night, walking on the roofs, spreading her wings for once. Away from the praying eyes that tried to look under her hood. She would sit down, her legs hanging on the edge of an old house, and she would watch. There were usually a few drunk men going back home, a couple kissing on an alley, all of them oblivious of her presence.
She usually found herself wondering how it must feel, anything, kissing someone, getting drunk, be free. She wanted to feel something more than her eagerness to fulfill her duty with the celestials, she wanted something else, so she watched and pretended for a while.
One of those nights she saw him, an elf with white hair, walking alone at night. She wouldn’t have paid him more attention if it wasn’t for his face, he was too handsome to be alone, too beautiful to wander around that flophouse.
Her gaze couldn’t leave him, for a briefly moment she thought he may be one of hers, but without wings, she decided that “ethereal” was what he was, so he might be an Aasimar. A fallen? How did fallen Aasimar look? Like him?
She followed him around, saw how he went from the flophouse to the tavern, then got out with a lady, both of them giggling as he guided her with a hand on her lower back. Allerya understood he was not strange then, just looking for his partner to go home. She smiled softly, pretending again it was her who knew how his hand felt like on her back.
Things turned suspicious when the next night the elf was there again, and the next, and the next. He always did the same, but his partners always changed as well as the name he claimed to have. She followed him like a cat, jumping through the roofs and trying to be as silent as possible as the three walked towards a palace she knew for having great view of the city.
The couple got inside, she tried to look but every window was covered even at night, she thought of breaking in, an utter desire to know, to see what he did. But why? She didn’t know.
“What’s inside, Mykiel?” She whispers, her hands touching the cold glass of the window, she has never been so anxious about something.
“Barely our business, Allerya.” Her guide answered on her mind, she frowned.
“Barely?” She repeated. Mykiel stayed silent.
She sighs, that was all she was going to get from them. She looked around, wanting to get in but knowing better, so she flew away. Maybe another time she would find out, she wished to learn his name.
Mykiel was fast to gave her things to do, but she always found a way to get back to the same roof and watch the elf, she noticed how he always wore the same clothes even though he lived on that big palace. How his movements seemed rehearsed and he always touched his partners on the same places. She was positively intrigued, so she looked for him at day too, when she was supposed to kill some evil guy she forgot about as soon as she thought she saw him around the corner, she turned her head so fast her helmet almost flew away from her head, leaving the men to bleed out for themselves as she ran behind that person, only to realize she was wrong when the blonde woman stepped back in horror when she saw the bloodied hand of Allerya almost touching her expensive dress.
Allerya blinked a few times, what was she doing? That elf would probably do the same as that woman if he saw her. She was no one to him either.
She turned to finish her duty, defeated and confused, the feeling of disapproval from Mykiel burning within herself.  
It was weeks later that she finally was able to go back to the Lower City, her limbs sore and her wings stinging where her feathers were ripped out by the ambush of goblins that tried to cut her wings off of her. They were long death by now.
She sat on her usual stop at the top of that old house, she learned that it was abandoned by now, and waited. The hours passed by but the elf didn’t come around the tavern nor the flophouse, she tilted her head to the side and raised to her feet, maybe he was somewhere else, so she looked around for him.
She jumped through the roofs, flew around a little and waited, but he wasn’t there. She came to the conclusion that he wasn’t coming that night, so she left to sleep, disappointed that her gaze wouldn’t wander on his hair, that she wouldn’t get to try and sneak a peak at his eyes to see what color they were.
Mykiel weren’t happy about her behavior, they were sure Allerya would forget that wretched thing as soon as she was out of the city long enough, as soon as she killed enough, did enough. They were wrong, and Allerya felt the building contempt of her guide the moment she looked for the elf another night.
Normally she wouldn’t even make her guide upset, she was the perfect Aasimar, the shiny protector, the sword of the celestials, the chosen one so bright she had to hide behind a hood to not make everyone turn her way.
She didn’t know what to do, so she did nothing, maybe if she was good enough to do this herself… What this? Do what? Find the elf? Learn his name? She frowns at her own questions, what was this thing that possessed her?
Week after week she looked for the elf everywhere, at day and night, but he was nowhere to be seen and Mykiel were firm with their order to not get close to that palace. But he had to be there, it was the only place she didn’t get to go, if was eating her alive, why was she so desperate so see him? She was positive about being possessed at this point, it killed her inside to not see him around, she never felt something alike, much less for a man she didn’t even know his name. It’s because he must be an Aasimar, she convinced herself without a better answer, she wanted to be with her own for once, to know someone like her.
Her feet hit the ground of the palace’s roof, “Cazador Szarr” she read on a plate, was that him? Cazador? His name didn’t fit his face.
She walked around the building and reached a door, tried to look inside but the windows were as covered as the first time she was there. The anxiety was eating her alive, Mykiel was almost raging and Allerya felt it, but she couldn’t help herself no more, she had to find him for once.
And just when she was opening the door voices startled her, was it him? No, two females. She ran to hide in the shadows and she watched the couple go inside the palace, it was similar at how that elf behaved, how he talked and moved, almost luring.
“This is not a place for you.” Mykiel said, almost like a mantra of his previous warnings through the days. “Turn around and leave.”
But she didn’t listen, her wings bringing her up to let her look better at the façade of the palace, something pulled her towards the graveyard and so she went there. Allerya took her time reading every tomb, the epitaph nothing like she saw before, just names without an ounce of love for the once living that laid there.
There was a faint sound, a whisper? Maybe even a scream if you paid enough attention, she turned and searched for the source but there was nothing but a brick wall and more tombs, she frowns.
Allerya walked the path silently, following the screaming and soft thuds, maybe an animal in a cage, she thought.
The sound came from… under? Her. She frowns and reads the tomb “Astarion Ancunin” the name didn’t ring a bell on her mind. She bends down and presses her ear to the ground, her light vibration of the sound coming from it.
“Gods! There is someone alive there, Mykiel!” She gasps, unconsciously starting to dig wit her own hands.
“And maybe they should stay there.” Mykiel warned in return.
“We can’t let someone die like this! I can’t, help me.”
“I won’t do such thing, there are more important things to do than save the weak. Much less just one.”
She kept digging like her life depended on it, her hands sore and her skin ripping with every movement she made against the dirt.
“If you keep going on, I will have to punish you. This is none of your business nor your destiny.”
“You said I was made to protect, im doing that,”
Mykiel remained silent.
She looked around, there must be a better way, the screams slowly becoming louder as Allerya took layer after layer off the casket.
She found a shovel behind a mausoleum and started digging with just that. The casket glowed with a faint golden light, enchanted perhaps. It was spotless, no damage on any side of it from the weight of the dirt or the shovel hitting on it each time she digged too deep.
“Take me out!” Screamed who was probably Astarion Ancunin. She tried to open it with little success, the enchantment to strong to fight with just force.
“What do I have to do for you to help me?” She asks Mykiel as she sits on the ground, her nails broken and bloody just as the rest of her hands.
“I won’t.”
“Please.” She hears her voice say, though she gets surprised by that. “I’ll do anything.”
Mykiel stayed silent and she thought of taking the coffin with her somewhere else. They weren’t going to take this from her, she left a lot of people die because they just weren’t “the greater good”... not anymore.
“Well, fuck you! Fuck all of you! I lived a life to serve only for you to turn your backs on me when I ask for something in return!”
Suddenly the enchantment broke and the lid flew open, the pale elf, the one she was looking for everywhere crawled out of the pit, his hands a mess of blood and dirt, his eyes raged, scared, lost.
“Who are you? Why are you here?” The elf, presumably Astarion, asked. “No! you made it worse! Bloody hells, what did you do?!”
Allerya was out of words, she expected everything but this, her own bloody hands shot up in a sign of peace. “Are you alright?”
“Alright? Alright?! I’m not alright, you have no idea what you caused!”
She stuttered, unable to get her words out of her mouth. “I’m sorry? Ah!” She bent down and hold her head, a piercing pain on her eyes consumed her every thought.
“Oh, and now you do this.” The elf scoffs, looking down at her form, thought he was curious.
She kneeled down, her limbs failing to hold her up as she feels like all of her body burned, she grunts and screams as her hands become ashes.
“What’s your name?” She asked between gritted teeth.
Astarion was weirded out to say the least, that thing, the only Aasimar he ever saw, was becoming ashes in front of him after taking him out of his punishment. It made it worse for him, probably, and it was no use to blame her for that, but he did anyways.
“Astarion.” He finally said, he stood there watching, not an ounce of sympathy on his face as the creature became nothing but ashes at his feet.
The wind took what was left of her, and he waited. What for? He didn’t know, but he knew deep down that the moment he stepped inside the palace a punishment would come his way just because he escaped from his prison on the ground. He didn’t know what was better, but he hoped he wasn’t the only one suffering.
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Hey there! This is kind of knew to me, i never wrote a fanfic in English before.
Welcome to this mess Astarion have made me. I feel the need to share my character with anyone willing to know her.
First of all, "english is not my first language" because one, its true, and two, i know its kind of a meme. So you will have to excuse me when my brain wouldnt get the difference between "in" and "on" during my midnight writing. Oh, what a pain is for me to write "thought, though, through and throw" haha.
This history starts before the events in BG3, but will reach canon in a few chapters. I learned a few things about canon in D&D, so i will put them here to give Allerya a deeper background. For reference, Dame Aylin is an Aasimar, they have this glowing features and really big wings. I will describe her better from the eyes of Astarion on next chapters.
Anyways, feel free to roast my poor Allerya, she is too innocent for this world, for now.
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fearless-stormclaw · 7 months
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To celebrate me starting the last chapter of the main part of the first book of my Owl House HP AU here are some sketches of some of the kiddos!
I might put colored versions of these drawings into the final draft.
(Fair warning, I do not claim to be an artist. Headshots are about the extent of my abilities.)
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First up, our protaganist, 11-year-old Luz Noceda! She wears her hair in pigtails most of the time. The image on the right is a possible design of her with her hair down. (or a possible Vee, whose design I haven't fully pinned down yet) And I realized I forgot her scar whoops She's also supposed to have a scar across her left eyebrow which I forgot to draw but please imagine it's there.
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Next up, 11-year old Amity Blight! Her little ponytail was an absolute pain to figure out how to draw. I think I managed it passably though. Her hair is dyed green, like it was in season 1 of the show.
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12-year old Willow Park! Poor girl, she is haunted. Sorry, eyes are still a weakness. She's a year older than the others but still in the same grade because her birthday is after the first day of school. For Willow, this adds to her feeling of being behind everyone else.
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9-year old Gus Porter! I should mention that the witches in this AU have normal round human ears, just like the wizards in the Harry Potter books. I imagine little Gus to have quite large ears that he will grow into some later. Again I apologize for the eyes.
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11-year old Boscha Malphiday! I'm really pleased with how she turned out, although I struggled with her third eye and I'm still not 100% satisfied with how it turned out. Her surname in this AU is a play off of Malfoy--Malfoy comes from the French for "bad faith" (mal foi); Malphiday comes from "mal fidei", Latin for "bad faith".
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13-year-old Hunter! He only appears as a cameo in the main storyline of Book 1, but he has a big part in one of the bonus epilogue chapters (which I haven't really written yet). In this timeline, he has only recently officially received his Golden Guard title. He hasn't gotten his cheek scar, ear notch, or eye bags yet (they will all come in due time) but he does have his tooth gap. He got that from getting his face punched in during training. I drew his Golden Guard uniform with only the one pauldron on his left shoulder as in the show, but I'm thinking of giving him a second one on his right shoulder like in the storyboards.
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Meet 15-year-old Oliva Che'! She's one of my OCs. She's basically the Oliver Wood character--the captain of the Owl House grudgby team. She is a very spirited and gung-ho type and very enthusiastic about grudgby. She is in the construction track, although she is not a huge fan of the coven system. She's kind of a fun big sister to the younger Owl House students. She is of Yucateca Maya descent. She has brown or gold eyes. Her hair is naturally black but she dyes it a different color every year and usually keeps it in braids. This year it's pink. Unfortunately Paint did a weird thing when I cropped this picture and made her blurry I am so angry Her Palisman (not pictured) is a black spiny-tailed iguana named Toloc.
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Meet 16-year-old Saka Katu! She is another OC. She is a cat demon girl and Oliva's girlfriend and also plays on the Owl House grudgby team (mostly because Oliva insists). She is in Potions track and believes deeply in the Coven system. She's a little uptight, some might call her bossy, and big into following the rules. She's kinda of a strict big sister type to the younger Owl House students. She keeps Oliva from being too reckless while Oliva keeps her from being too stiff. Saka is Malagasy for cat and Katu is Basque for cat so her name is literally "cat cat". She may or may not have a Palisman; if she does, it's some sort of fish.
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Last but not least, 11-year-old William Myrtus Warthorne! His design is based off of Ser William from the audio tests/pilot. He is described as a handsome boy--broad-shouldered, with blond hair and blue eyes and a hooked nose which I swear I fixed but somehow it's still wrong ORZ. He is in Goat House and is friends with Boscha, but he doesn't participate in bullying (he doesn't do anything to stop it, though, he's just sort of there). He has a friendly, laidback personality and can get along with just about anyone. It's not discussed in this book (it's more of a plot point in book 2), but his family, the Warthornes, are a cadet branch of the Clawthornes which is why he has Clawthorne and Wittebane features.
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i worry for my blind deaf and dumb grandpa, if only he could have mountains of video tapes, vinyl records, cassettes, laser discs, the electronic equipment to use these medias, as well as record them, and view them -all pre-used as that's the only way he moght ever even try (he hasn't ever touched a computer especially not one with Dos or 95/98/2000/me/xp/nt. no amigas, no macintosh, no radio shack. all that and film and cameras to use it, and early digital cameras. old home decor, clothes (he HATES clothes) like disco stuff or old stuff in closets from places, photographs, slides, movie film and cameras for it sound and silent, projectors and editors, oh he's never even touched one. all the stuff that goes with all of it. books too. and all kinds of silly personal effects and polaroids and the whole nine yards. he hates the 20th century so much. and he's never ever driven a car. he really hates cadillacs the most, amd buicks, lincolns, and imperials and all the weird cars nobodys heard of like grandvilles and chevettes and the ones everyone knows like firebirds and corvettes too. he hates all of the quirky tech from the early 2000s like cameras and printers and computers. he hates crafts and anything creative like painting or sewing or gluing things together. speaking of glue he hates it when things get fixed so tools should also be sent, all kinds of tools for doing any sort of work at all. he hates lamps and lives in an empty space that's sad and cold and falling apart so deeds to houses is something he'd hate to receive, but should have. he really hates leather jckets and womens clothes from the 1970s especially ones that fit his transgender granddaughter. he hates video games and systems too, especially the game boy, super nintendo, nintendo 64, dreamcast, jaguar, pong, and gamecube. he hates dogs amd cats and snow leopards and all animals so things with animals on them as well as things for animals are a must. any kind of outsider art makes him angry he hates it so much so that needs to find its way to him. he hates books and reading, any and all books but especially how-to books and paperback novels of the 1970s thru 1990s. he hates the kind of stuff you find at yard sales. and he hates everything on ebay, especially bootleg pokemon games and all the pokemon cards. he hates all forms of physical media including but not limited to: video tapes, laser disc, dvd, blu-ray, video game discs, obscure video formats, professional video formats, reel-to-reel, floppy discs, audio cassette, 8-track, reel-to-reel, vinyl record, magnetic strips, 45rpm records, and all photography. he really hates studio and professional equipment for video, film, audio and printing. he hates type writers and he hates all formats of film and their compatible cameras. he really hates kodachrome and 110 and color reversal movie film being played on projectors and the image coming out the correct colors. he hates edited pictures, moving of otherwise. he hates stuffed animals and adult diapers (those should be NEW AND UNUSED, he would laugh at used ones mixed in he likes that because it would be miserable for us, and we are not the point here) he hates militaria and anything to do with smoking and/or pot. he hates everything made of leather. he hates motorcycles. he hates computer software on discs, amd pre-installed. he hates having all the pieces to assemble things that work, and he hates being surprised with puzzles and adventures. he hates opertunities to develop more stuff like the stuff he hates. he hates all people in the whole world and he hatesit when anybody gives him anything. his name is Aaron Storer and the only words he ever says are "i hate everything" and "i'm bored" and he'd very much hate a dictionary. he hates furries, so much.
in order to force my grandpa to take part in society and therefor rejuvenate himself into a young man once more all of the things listed above and more should be sent directly to the address that @cadillaccatmp on twitter doxed herself with last autumn, as that is the place which it will be able to be given to grandpa and force him to use it. this barrage of stuff must continue until my grandpa Aaron Storer is out and about greeting people and smiling and making sure everyone knows his name is Aaron Storer.
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nicetrynicetry · 8 months
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50
J comes by in the convenient gap between violent rain showers to tell me he punched a guy in the face at a club on Friday night. I know the punch’s recipient well enough to know he probably deserved it, and J admits it was exhilarating. “I felt like I was on coke”, he says, though J is newly sober. I tell him what he felt was probably better than coke, that the male body produces most of the properties of these kinds of drugs in-house. I think for a moment about the idea of replacing alcohol with fighting, something I’d never considered. Apparently the conversation that made things heated was one about Russia-Ukraine. J’s opponent had yelled something to effect of “Putin will kill them all”, and that “Ukraine is full of Nazis”, which in turn riled J whose fiancé is Ukrainian. I hold my tongue when J makes his feelings about it clear because I realise my views, though still nascent and a little more nuanced, might actually get ME punched in the face. I can’t get into NATO expansion when we could be discussing more personal matters, which we do. The Sims, cats, rapists (mine works for Boiler Room and his was on Come Dine With Me). J has never been able to find the episode, and I make a note to task C and his flair for reportage with finding it. We study the structure of The Sims’ language Simlish, then watch a video of Katy Perry singing and recording her hit song “Friday Night” in the language for the third instalment of the computer game
I go to lock my studio door from inside and yet can’t resist petting the yard dog when I see her sniffing the tailpipe of a BMW. Her guardians today are the boss of the yard’s younger brother and 10 year old niece. The dog bounds into my studio and nuzzles every object she sees. “You are SO ugly”, says J, rubbing the top of her head. The yard boss’s brother stays outside but asks what I do in the building all day. Against my better judgment (none of the yard characters have ever seen my studio) I invite him and his daughter inside. They ask me upwards of 7 times whether the paintings are “done by hand”, and I find myself promising that I’m not lying when I say they are. They spot a painting of the yard dog and lose their minds. After they leave I feel needlessly exposed and like an important boundary has been crossed. News will spread fast of the paintings. I panic and ask V to prime the gallery team to lie about how much they cost on the off-chance any of the drug dealers enquire. Nobody can know, least of all my landlord. I figure the gallery will enjoy the weird task of inventing a whole ersatz price list
J leaves to go to a birthday dinner, his long coat grazing the back wheel of his bike. I peer at the sky and wonder whether I can get away with a dry ride home in this BPD weather. There is a new leak in my roof that drips water right onto my coffee table, and I place a kilner jar under it before I leave. Later in the evening, weak-minded and lonely, I think of a text I got from R last week:
You said don’t message, so I don’t expect a reply.
Miss you very much and think about you every day. Hope you are well and the house renovation is going smooth. It must be nearly done.
All the best
“Not ‘all the best’!”, said N when I showed it to her. I mentioned how concerning it was that R thinks of me every day. By 9pm all I feel I can do to take the sadness away is text R. I do it and instantly regret it. He replies and it could be early 2023 again, and not in a good way. My sadness is replaced quickly by fatigue. ABORT ABORT, I text N. God damn it. I tell R I’m going to bed a full hour before I actually go to bed. When I do, I dream that I got a facelift for free in return for use of my image for Before and After shots on the company website. The rest of the dream is me wondering whether this is a good deal or not
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nei-ning · 1 year
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I've been having many weird dreams now recently in couple nights. I don't remember most part of them but I remember faint flashes of images / places in my head.
Like last night. Very long dream but I only remember standing at old, abandoned highway with my brother. I had see through-plastic box which had old camera's battery, small other batteries etc. inside. I tossed it gently to the side of the road to leave it there, coming to get it later, but the plastic box bounced on the road few times, opening and everything from the inside spread on the road, breaking. I was shocked and surprised because they all were so shitty and broke so easily that I cursed out loud in confusion.
Now, tonight's dream (I just woke up from it). Long dream short. I was in big opening under the ground with some kind of ocean, very old / ancient city ruins etc. I needed to get to other ruins across me but the waves were crossing each other, being too strong. I suddenly got big working horse there, I think it was a mare I used to own in real life, and I ride on her to other side by using another way. I had to climb old broken stone stairs, coming to the door of old castle.
I then hear noble man's voice announcing the arrive of princes (all of their first name was William). I got happy about the name since William is also the main character in Nioh 1, a game and a guy which I love a lot. There was a box which had very detailed princesses chocolates, painted dresses, accessories etc. and they were wrapped inside see through plastic. When the noble man announced one princess' name, others got mad, starting to nag. She wasn't as pretty or fancy as the rest of them but she was the one who all princes wanted to meet.
I then met a man in another location. He was taller than I, skinnier but wore nice clothes. We were together but we had to keep it as a secret since his family was VERY religious - and therefor strict - and they never wouldn't had accept me because I'm not religious one bit. We kept meeting secretly, growing older.
We were at this little high "hill" in the middle of the forest, small pond with running water at the base of this "hill". He was without a shirt and I noticed weird spots on his body. He was very sick but kept hiding it - until now. He showed me around because his small house was there. He had a black cat who I managed to greet, petting it. It never allowed visitors to touch itself. We also searched for a missing baby chicken since the grass was so tall at some points. We heard it chirp but suddenly we had to hide under the bed which was placed in the middle of the hillroad. His family had arrived.
This man now turned more older right in front of my eyes, hiding by my side but eventually he crawled out, greeting his family. His father spotted me under the bed, telling me to come out. I did. I don't remember how things went from there but soon there was another man who attacked on my husband. The attacker was like a combination of Predator and Sylvester Stallone. He shot my husband few times and it made me furious. I grabbed this attacker's weird gun, pointed it at him and shot. He fell in the pond, lifting his head. He mumbled of getting shot too many times but I didn't give a damn. I shot him on the forehead from very close to make sure he dies because I knew he would come back if I didn't.
My focus now turned on my husband. I rushed to him, pressing his wounds. His family just stared in shock. I was sobbing and crying, starting to rant softly to the family about love. How love is the strongest and greatest thing on earth and everyone has right for it, religious or not. They shouldn't judge our love only because I'm not religious etc. I looked down at my husband and he wore very small, but extremely gentle and warm smile. I whispered something to him and saw how the light in his eyes left. I knew he just died. It made me so sad but this whole experience, apparently, opened his family's eyes. And hearts.
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astaroth1357 · 3 years
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Demigod MC Series: Athena
So. I have to deal with the virgin goddesses… By mythos, there really shouldn't ever be children of Artemis, Hestia, or Athena (yes, Athena was a virgin goddess). PJ got past that by making it canon that Annabeth and her siblings were born from cracking open Athena's skull (yes, that's also more or less the canon explanation). They gloss over it real quick but I remember, Rick. I've always remembered and that mental image has haunted me for years...
I can't, in good conscience, ignore the history around Athena's worship (call it an academic restraint) but I REFUSE to do the skull thing. So, since I make the rules here, I'm going with magic adoption. They still get magic powers, they're just more human than demigod. Cool? Cool.
Demigod MC Series: Intro, Aphrodite, Hermes, Hades, Dionysus, Demeter, Athena
Lucifer
The human that popped out of the portal seemed to have enough sense not to attack everyone in the room for a change, but even Lucifer could tell that was more of a strategic choice than for lack of ability...
Their very existence was highly unusual… and quite worrisome. He wasn't even aware Athena could have "children" of her own, but apparently she had been taking in some particularly bright humans to raise and train like her own...
Unbeknownst to him, a surprising amount of human scholars, diplomats, and generals have her to thank for their trade… and that alone should speak to the level of intrigue at play here. 
Was this an accident or Athena's attempt to plant an Olympian spy in the Devildom too…? Either way, he didn't trust them from the get go…
Look, Lucifer isn’t stupid. Athena is a goddess of Wisdom and War and war happens on more than just the battlefield… 
Since they've shown up records have been going missing, official documents keep getting misplaced, and he swears that there's some kind of bug in the student council room...!
It's infuriating watching the MC suck up to Diavolo when he's almost certain that they're running their own agenda behind the scenes! And he can't prove any of it!! They cover their tracks too well!
Lucifer has one of those corkboards covered in newspapers and string in a secret wing of the Castle - 100% dedicated to just tracking the MC's activities…. The longer they're there, the more obsessed he becomes...
He swears between Simeon, Solomon, and MC he feels like a shepherd wondering why the sheep are growling… The Devildom has never been in more danger than it is right now... Send help.
Mammon
To be honest, he kind of thought that they were just going to be Satan 2.0 but that's not really true.
They're more than just a book sponge! Though they do read, like a lot. Let’s just say from one schemer to another… Game recognizes Game.
They come up with plans and ideas soooo fast, it’s insane! Honestly, there are times where he has a new money-making plot and he just brings it to the MC first to run it over. 
Nine times out of ten, not only do they sniff out any problems but they have a solution for him in a matter of minutes! His scheme game has been on point since they’ve shown up!!
They’re also even better tutoring than Satan is, so he’s even managed to get a couple A’s for the first time in his life! Lucifer actually told him he was proud (which he secretly recorded and now uses as a ringtone much to his brother’s regret...)
So yeah, he likes them... buuut that doesn’t keep him from thinking they act a little weird sometimes... 
Mammon: *points to a unused tower close to the RAD building* Over there is the Tower of Sorrow. We use it for storage.
MC: Ah. Interesting… *starts writing in a notebook, muttering* It may need a few minor tweaks but the location is defensible...
Mammon: *stops* Ya say somethin’?
MC: *looks back up* Nope! Say, you’ve been to the Castle a lot haven’t you? Do you know any good ways in?
Mammon: Uhm… Why do ya want to know that…? *starts looking around for Lucifer*
MC: In case of emergencies. I like being prepared. 🙂
Mammon: Look, I don’t know what Lucifer might’a told ya…
MC: I’ll pay you a thousand Grimm for it.
Mammon: Well shit, ya want those maps with or without color?
... Yeeeah, that’s pretty weird… But it’s probably fine. I mean, as long as they keep giving him money, who’s he to complain? 🤷‍♀️
Leviathan
Also thought that they’d be a lot more like Satan but was pleasantly surprised that they were into more than books.
What else did they like exactly? Military strategy!!
It’s been a looong time since he’s been able to talk to someone who’s actually interested in all the battles he’s fought, both in the Celestial Realm and the Devildom, and their curiosity is kind of flattering...! Not a lot of people take his strategic prowess all that seriously anymore...
Plus, they are the BEST partner to have any turn-based strategy game. Hands down. He once got stuck on a level of D-COM for weeks until the MC walked in and mopped the floor with the AI!! They have a serious head for probability and tactics.
The House once made the mistake of letting these two be on the same team during a Hell Game and they absolutely demolished the competition. Mammon didn’t even get a single shot off before half his team was lost to a rigged paint grenade… It took a whole day to clean up… 
However, Levi’s also noticed some odd things about the human… He likes that they’re interested in his past but maybe they’re a little… too interested?
Levi: -and that’s how we defeated the Four Horsemen before they escaped from Purgatory. 
MC: Wow, Levi that’s seriously impressive!! *furiously scribbling on a notebook*
Levi: Well t-thanks… 😅 But, uhm... are you writing that down…?
MC: Hm? Oh no, just doodling. *they lift up the notebook to show a bunch of cute little sketches on the page… and not the magic-based invisible ink all over them…*
Levi: Oh you draw too? Can you do fanart???
MC: Eh, sometimes. But say Levi, can you tell me about your naval ranks again? I’m still really curious… *gets the pen ready again with a smile*
Satan
Oh, it's been a long game of cat-and-mouse between these two… and unfortunately, it’s been pretty addicting too.
He honestly had every intention of tricking the human into making a huge mess do he could bother Lucifer, but at every turn they proved just a hair too clever for him...
He once gave them a cursed book to “lend” to Lucifer, but they saw through it the moment they touched it and lifted the spell before handing it over.
He rigged a podium to spray glitter during one of Lucifer's speeches but the MC disconnected the trigger mic before he even got on stage. It was pretty dang frustrating...
At one point he got so desperate that, just as a test, he tried to trap them in the House's Music Room. Fortunately for them, it only took a few minutes to work out an escape. They even passed by him in the hallway with a wink!
It's confounding! It's infuriating!! 
...and it's so damn sexy... He should be furious but he’s just in awe!!
Add on that they know their art, literature, and multiple different crafts thanks to the tutelage of their adopted mother and that’s it. He’s finished. This boy is in love.
Truthfully though, a part of him is 90% sure that they’re also gathering state secrets… Like, they’re watching Barbs and Diavolo far too close for comfort - but he just can't bring himself to care. 🤷‍♀️
The MC could walk into his room one day and say, "Hey, do you want to help overthrow the monarchy with me?" and he dreads it because deep down he knows that he wouldn’t say no…
Take some notes, kids. Some bad influences get you to drink or do drugs. Others pull you into a centuries long conspiracy to destabilize and topple rival realms from within… But he has fallen for their brain hard. Devil help them all…
Asmodeus 
They’re pretty clever, he’ll give them that, but uh… Are they a little off to anybody else?
Asmo is a charmer by birthright so he has a bit of nose for when someone’s just a liiittttle too nice… Not much of a nose mind you, because he can be thrown off by compliments himself, but enough to think that the MC might be a little too… “kind” for their own good...
First off, who wants to spend that much time with Levi?? They don’t even seem that interested in anime! They just keeping asking him for old war stories…
Then all the sucking up they do to Diavolo and Barbatos? Look, he gets it. Diavolo is a delicious piece of man-hunk and his butler could give him a lesson or two in sweet-talk (and he has), but they seem to be just a little too… nosy.
Of course, Asmo’s suspicions disappear pretty quickly after they start to spoil him with spa nights and beauty secrets they picked up from “casual research” into the subject.
And you know, get a little Demonus in Asmo and start massaging his back? Oh, sweetie he’ll sing like a bird!! … with gossip. Singing with gossip.
Asmo: So I’ve heard that Lucifer has been spending more time at RAD than usual… His whole club is talking about it, they think he’s meeting with some witch!
MC: Hm, is that so? *works on a knot near his shoulder blades* What do you think?
Asmo: Ooh~! Right there, MC! *purrs and lays his head on his arms* Well come on, this is Lucifer we’re talking about! I’m sure he’s just working.
Asmo: Hmm... though come to think of it, I think I heard him asking Barbatos for the spare keys to the Tower of Sorrow…
MC: Oh really? Huh. *works out the knot and gets up* I just remembered that I left some papers with Satan... I’ll be right back.
Asmo: You’re going already??
MC: *waves him off quickly* I’ll be right back, Asmo. *hurries out the door to do totally on-the-up-and-up things… surely*
Beelzebub 
Honestly he doesn't like this one… But not for the reasons you'd expect.
He agrees with everyone else that they seem a little shady, but Solomon and Simeon are too so it's not like that's anything new... 🤷‍♀️
No, no. He dislikes them because they're the person who FINALLY figured out how to keep him from eating all the food in the kitchen!!
Turns out that the trick was to put a teleportation charm on the fridge door that would send all the food away if it’s opened after a certain time of night… 
And where does it go? The Purgatory Hall fridge. And where does the Purgatory Hall food go…? The HoL fridge…
It doesn’t sound so bad until you remember that it means half of their fridge is now Solomon’s leftovers…. 🤢
After they put the same kind of spell on the pantry, it was all over… He couldn't get midnight snacks from the House anymore… Everything was contaminated by Solomon…
The MC is a nice enough person, he doesn’t have a lot of complaints about them, but he wants them to leave. Now. This is inexcusable… He’s so hungry… and he doesn’t want to die by “goulash” or whatever Solomon calls his latest culinary catastrophe… He’s still too young for death… 😓
Belphegor 
In a way, he absolutely could not have asked for a better person to help him get out of that attic.
… In another way, he got one of the worst possible people to try and kill... Like. They saw through his scheme sooo fast…
How was he supposed to know that the human had training in body language and sniffing out lies???
Getting the door open was a piece of cake for them. They knew enough magic to undo the seals and just rummaged around Lucifer's stuff long enough to find the key to the door. He could not have found a more competent individual for a break out, really.
It’s just… well he didn’t expect to go from locked in a room like a prisoner to tied up in enchanted rope, still like a prisoner but now mobile. 😑 
They even used his own hug ruse against him! They caught his wrists when they got close and tied him up before he could shake them off...
Admittedly, it wasn't exactly the best look for them either - what with walking Belphegor downstairs to the others like a one-man-prison-caravan but they're as silver-tongued as they are sly so they talked their way out of it beautifully… 
And like hell was he going to trust them after that!! And not even Beel liked them so something had to be up...
Well, you want a detective? Look no farther than Belphie (no seriously, it’s in the canon). He can put things together pretty fast when he puts his mind to it and watching the MC for a while gave him enough proof to work off of...
He always knew that, humans were bad news and the MC just proved it to him all over again. They are bad news, bad bad news and they’re going to-!
Overthrow… Diavolo…? Is that what he is getting from them…? Huh…
Wait a second, MC. You might just have him interested… 😏
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neocatharsis · 3 years
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Ten on his new Represent capsule, grappling with creativity, and evading genre lines.
As Ten Lee - a vocalist and dancer in K-pop groups NCT (with whom he debuted in 2016) and Super M, and Chinese group WayV - is musing over his proclivity for partnering music or visual styles in a way that others deem strange, he veers off on a tangent. “Anything can be matched… except juice and coffee,” he says, suddenly. “Those two should never be.” Ten is infamously anti-fruit. It stems from a mistaken process of association in childhood where “I had the image of a spider and the image of fruit mixed up,” he laughs awkwardly, “so now whenever I put fruit in my mouth, I think there’s spiders in my mouth.”
Random abstractions such as this pepper his rapid-fire conversation, like small fireworks fizzing through the dark. Excitable, enthused and sharply alert, if Ten’s energy was visible it would be a shimmering mantle of gold and silver dust. As a dancer, he moves with a sinuous, controlled power that can shift from elegant to explosive on a single beat. As a visual artist, the Bangkok-born, multilingual 25-year-old recently added the title of designer to his growing list of achievements, launching an already sold out collaboration with the bespoke merch platform Represent.
Aptly, he named his collaboration “What is ??? THE ANSWERS”, for although being a chameleonic artist is one of Ten’s greatest strengths, the personality traits that enable this created within him question marks around how he saw himself fitting into the world. “People ask me, ‘What kind of music do you like?’ And I say, ‘I like R&B but hope it sounds rock’. And they’re like, ‘That doesn’t make sense’.” It was troubling to Ten that people began telling him who he was and how he should be, instead of accepting him as is.
In a recent Instagram Live, the myriad of Ten’s contrasts tumble forthwith. He’s the doting cat-dad. His inner emo, who loves rock music, shows off dried roses, with the stern, black, geometric lines of the large tattoo on his inner right arm sometimes visible. But he’s also delicate in a way, with his butterfly tattoo and hair lightly permed, who names daisies as his other favourite flower, and plays Fousheé’s breathy TikTok hit, 'Deep End'.
“Have you seen the image where I have my name in a cross in lots of different languages?” He pulls the image up on his phone. The design sits on his Represent long sleeve tee. “I was thinking [about this], like, what you’re saying... Ten has this luvvie flower side and a very ‘rawwrr!’ side. I’m always like, ‘Ten, what kind of person are you?’ I do ask myself that, too, because everything I like is so different [to the other].” He could have conceded, and reined himself in. He’s pushed back instead. “I thought, ‘I can be anything I want, I can be this in the morning and this at night. I can be any person I want to be’. And that’s what makes me comfortable and happy.”
On his Instagram, Polaroids feature scrawled messages, like “Don’t tell me what to do!” and “Whatever! I’ll do it my way”. The designs of his collaboration seek to challenge being boxed in by other people’s standards, thus limiting ourselves. The recurring symbol of a cross tipped with arrows is a nod to the Chinese letter for 10, but doubles as a plus sign. He’s added it to his Instagram, writing “TEN_+•10” in his bio. “A plus sign can mean that you’re adding on and growing.” He points to another version of the arrow-cross, one with short diagonal dashes between its points that symbolise light. It means, he says, “that I’m radiating. I’m burning, I’m active, I’m doubling myself.” He touches his forearm, where crowning his geometric tattoo is a blazing sun. “I have this, like, if you want to be the light, you have to burn. I relate to that.”
This isn’t to say Ten’s self-exploration is complete. While celebrating his strengths, the artwork also portrays parts of himself not yet conquered. He admits to being a chronic overthinker: “Even very small things that happen to me, I rethink a thousand times, and I get stressed out because of the things I do. Like, the main theme [here] is me overthinking but trying to find an answer even though it doesn’t have any answer.” Fittingly, spiral shapes dominate his designs, looming large amongst bright, bold shapes that evoke 80s Pop Art and graffiti, though Ten shies away from defining himself as “fully an artist, I’m not in the position to say things like that yet.”
“I’m still learning and trying new things. You learn by getting different elements from different people and I’m in that stage now.” He enjoys wandering the infinite halls of Instagram and Pinterest where he screenshots art that he likes, lost in the images, often for hours. He explains that he’s mostly influenced by whatever his current visual obsession is. “I’m interested in tattoos lately so my paintings look like tattoo designs. I’m that person who, when they see stuff, it goes into my brain and instantly comes out from my hands,” he laughs.
Ten’s introduction to art and design was through his mother, who believed music, art and sport were more important in a child’s development than traditional academia. “She didn’t care if I got an A* or not, just don’t get an F or a D,” he grins. Like any kid forced to do something, Ten railed against spending his weekends at art school. He attended but he didn’t draw. He befriended his teacher and other pupils and, as they worked, he chatted. “I was a very talkative kid! When I came to SM Entertainment (in 2013), I had a lot of my own time because my parents were in Thailand and I was alone. I had to absorb all the new culture and adapt to a new environment.’” When he felt surrounded by “negative energy”, he began drawing, enamoured with the space and freedom it offered because in art, as he often says, “there’s no right answer.”
There is, however, sometimes a middle ground. His goal was to make the Represent collection accessible to his diverse fanbase. “I wanted to make things that people can easily wear because it was my first project to make something with clothes and it’s a collab. If you go too far out, no one will get it. If you go too far back, people won’t reach for it. So finding the middle ground is important but that’s the hardest thing to do. If it’s my own project, I’ll be like, ‘I’m the president of this brand, I’m gonna make all the weird clothes that I can imagine!’”
He sought second opinions to ensure his designs landed the way he hoped. “I have a lot of good friends around me - my choreographer, (SHINee and Super M member) Taemin hyung, my manager. I randomly ask people I’m comfortable with and have known for a long time, like Mark (Lee, of NCT and Super M). Mark has the same kind of perspective as me, but I’m a person who is arrghhh!” He waves his hands in the air. “And he’s very calm. I need a person who is opposite of me because when I’m in a mood, I talk nonsense - ‘I wanna do this, I wanna do that, I wanna make this!’ - and Mark’s like,’Bro, calm down’,” he says in a rather uncanny impression of the Canadian-Korean.
Ten works fast when he’s drawing. He has to. He describes his personality as someone who can't wait until the next day to do something. “I’m very impatient,” he smiles. “If I’m going to paint or draw, I’m going to finish it in, like, two hours. I can’t sit down for three hours.” When inspiration hits him, it’s off the back of deep contemplation, sometimes about the mundane - “Like, why do the cats come to me when they’re hungry only? Is it selfish or instinct? - at other times, something affecting him emotionally.
But whereas his job as a singer and dancer sees him project his energy outwards, art offers the opposite. He’s often alone in his room when he works. As is for many artists, the right mood is fundamental. “When I’m in a good mood, I can’t draw,” he half-sighs. It’s also a multi-sensory process. “Smell or the temperature of the room, that really helps me draw. I light three or four candles. And when I draw, it’s kind of heavy, the feeling,” he explains. “It feels like you’re sinking into something, into yourself, and everything seems so small. Everything narrows down into me, my pencil, the paper.”
The more work he does in different creative mediums, the less Ten’s desire is to keep them separate. His art, dance and music influence each other, whether it’s customising his own collaboration pieces, a choreography video in an art gallery or dancing underwater with a film crew. When someone tells him that something won’t work or match up well, he refuses to let the idea go until he’s attempted it.
“I’ve had that since I was young. I think everything is possible. If you don’t try, you don’t know. When people say it’s impossible, like dancing in water for three minutes, I’m like, then let’s make it possible. You don’t need to walk a straight line [in life], you can walk this way,” Ten says, pointing along an invisible line before switching sharply in direction. “Then go back on track, go that way, come back. No one should tell you to walk in a line, I don’t see the point of that.”
© Clash Magazine
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mantra4ia · 2 years
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Favorite "The Amazing Devil" songs
I mean, apart from actually all of them
1. Drinking Song for the Socially Anxious:
Like a puppet with no strings, untangling my headphones, sometimes it's the only thing that keeps my head in place / my heart is tearing pages from the funny story I rehearsed because I know I don't belong / my kindness is my sword. I do my best to breathe but they're stealing all the air / I'll sing silence and ask my glass of wine for guidance... I'll speak with my eyes, you'll think I'm weird...I don't find this easy like you. / I'm lying on a bed of coats trying desperately to cope, it's just sometimes nice to feel what it's like in someone else's coat. / We're bursting at the seams because the noise is crushing us... In a moment of total rapture, with every strength I have, I ask if you play D&D and your face lights up like you've woken up from this endless f****** nightmare / if God made us in his image then God's a fucking nerd. / Going to go home and dress my cat up like Batman.
2. Wild Blue Yonder:
One last time, love, come and rip my clothes off / Let's wander 'til the fuckers demand an encore.
Flirting (not flirting) at the back of a bookshop - Come and rip off my socks like you're blasting the locks off of a bank vault. This time we're done for.
All the books we drowned, and the candle we lit, we'll use it to burn this whole place to the ground. I'm lost, I'm found in you
Every stone you threw, I stood on to better see the view
let's hide under the covers, we don't know what's out there, could be all our demons darlings (or a robot vampire)
I've got something in my (eye/I) surrender
3. Chords:
Remember today that you are loved...Paint your eyes with sunsets. / I need a drink or two / If your voice begins to crack and you ever feel alone, they might laugh...But know we'll sing your name when you come home. / Remember (please), today you're enough / Gift to us all your blame 'cause we'll be all that you hate about yourself, so you can grow.
4. Pray:
Sweet nothings are screamed, not spoken
God made all man in his image (God made all men) Honey, I'm, I'm no man. I'm what's left when children go to war.
I'll run until I begin to understand what holy men really mean, when they speak of sand and sons and seams, and symphonies and sweat and sex and sin.
5. Fair:
It's what my heart just yearns to say...It's what my rotting bones will sing...Today, I somehow understand the reason I was born. / It's not fair (how much I love you), 'cause you make me laugh when I'm actually really fucking cross at you for something / darling I was born to press my head between your shoulder blades / It's not fair, 'cause you make me weep when I'm just trying to watch The Office with my yogurt / how unreasonable / Christ, you'll be the death of me / And calm throughout his melodrama, she will turn and say... you don't need to pretend to be someone you're not 'cause it's not like I've never heard you fart and snore and for some godforsaken reason I'm still here, love. / Where have you been?" She'll whisper, "I've waited, so long for you to come" / And as the stars above them hum...He'll turn to her and say, "That's what she said."
6. Marbles:
She sang, "do you think I'm sexy?" - And oh God, I really did.
Sipping drinks till we cry - oh if one more guy calls me darling then I swear to you, and to God, I will murder them all. Will the bastards applaud when I show that I'm flawed? - You're not flawed darling, you're just a little underrehearsed.
I sink to the floor, "What's the point anymore?" - You reply with the glint in your eye, "I don't don't know, but I'm here."
I've loved you for a hundred years - certainly f****** feels like it.
7. That Old Witch Sleep...:
That old witch sleep wishes, she kisses my eyelids, "you don't have to be brilliant" / They're just shadows searching for light, they can't stay / you are in the earth of me / Oh, sleep now, she pleads - You're not a coward 'cause you cower. You're brave because they broke you yet broken still you breathe / let's bury this...'cause I'm not trapped with you, you see, you're the one who's trapped with me. / Where you see weakness I see wit, sometimes I fall to pieces to see what bits of me don't fit / Pour me another shard full of glass, I toast to their talents and I forgive them at last.
8. Battle Cries:
Thirty winters will pass, you'll look back at the woman 50-year-old-you will be proud to have known
After summers of fasting, I feel hunger for the person 15-year-old-me would be proud to have known...And we'd laugh at the ghosts of our fears. We were gods, we were kids.
That creaking you hear in my bones, it's not pain, it's applause.
"Come at me, your blaggards," you'd yell from the banks, wielding words against make-believe wizards and tanks.
And these lines aren't wrinkles, they're just dollops of paint on a new work of art.
All it took to unearth —in the dust and the dirt— some release or respite from the heat and the hurt, was taking the time now and then to ask how I am.
This isn't a breakup it's a season finale / And now at the end (At the end of all things) I'm not gonna scream, beat my chest at the wind. I'm doing fine.
9. Inkpot Gods:
I made a vow out to the dark, "Please, let her live..." 'Cause she is so much more than all her scars and if she doesn't have the will...I'll stay, because I will be the man my father never was.
What you hear is not silence, it's just the trees waiting to hear what next you'll hum.
What you see is not the dark, it's just the gods upturning ink pots 'cause they know what you'll become
To those Gods I'll say bluntly, "you ever touch or harm him" please rest assured that you might not fear a man. But to a woman, by the end, you'll kneel and plea 'cause I'm more than what my mum told me to be.
10. The Calling
Back then, I was dauntless / my weakness made me weep less than I would ever show to you / I'd burn so bright it blinded...that light guided me here / To wring those embers from my broken heart and broken liver / I'm between that 'just one more' and 'drank too much' again / I look into the waters and see a face I don't understand / We're both unwanted daughters / I don't recognize..."What changed?" I ask, "So strange, " she replies / Shoulder the sky (I can't wait to show you how much) / back then I wasn't hopeful...I promise you I'll write "I love you" your sleeping hand / and when that fox howls, I'll howl with it. In its cries, I'll find an end. / When I think I'm fine, you'll visit and happen to me all over again. In the waters, I see a face I don't want look back / the rocks beneath my feet begin to crack / long ago that current caught us and we tried, I tried, I really fucking tried...But the rain kept coming down, I watched that woman drown.
Honorary lyrics and imagery
The trees tell us their stories, we called them liars...We thought you were mental, you were talking to trees!
Autumn hands
Write me weird, write me willing, write me well.
Be good, be safe, be kind.
It's like all the wallpaper inside my heart is peeling off. I'm showing all the stains and things they wrote on the wall before...today we ripped it off, we showed the world that we exist. Never really liked the pattern that much on the wallpaper, so anyway.
Brick by brick you built us...our mortar was your laughter... I'll brick by brick rebuild us out of hows and whys not whens
Burn a hundred theaters to get the wall paper right
We made universes out of bitten lips and broken hands
‘Cos I will suffer silence for the strings you tune
I pack what is needed for the journey to come. All my books and bracken and booze.
Do you like my dress, it has pockets?
If I have to be who I was, do I have to be who I am?
Leaves like fallen shards of stained glass windows shinning
You asked me for my fire now watch me burn
Mop up what's left of my lungs
You do not get to hurt me just because I asked you once if you were alright
To the dark I said pour and forgot to say when...And for the first time in all my life I know I'm more than what I fear.
I make myself acquainted with the saint of never getting it right
My saint, she is dancing and every step I choose to take begins to set the world aflame.
That wine you were saving, it's saving me now, love...I whisper aloud to my saint "oh we're going to get on."
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transthaumaturge · 4 years
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Squirrel Girl is Super Gay for her Roommate and I Want Everyone to Know
A gay infodump of sensible length by Rachel Tikvah
ALRIGHT, SO The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl was the very first comic that I ever read regularly, back when I was looking for more stories with strong female protagonists but didn't really know why. Back then I just thought I really liked strong female characters and not that I was being gay on main, but now I know the truth. The comic had a 5-year run, and it was the first time that Squirrel Girl, AKA Doreen Green, had had her own series. She had a brief run in the mid-2000's where she was established as someone who could beat up Thanos with her bare hands well, more like squirrel hands but was mostly a joke character that happened to be incredibly buff and had indestructible plot armor. USG decided that Doreen's next major life goal would be to enroll in college to become a computer scientist, because her writer, Ryan North, is really into computer science and they basically gave him free rein over Squirrel Girl canon for five whole years. Like, a solid third of the plots are solved with some kind of computer science smarts. It’s really cool. Anyway this is Doreen in one of the gayest solo pictures I could find of her on short notice, which is also one of the variant covers from the actual series:
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And this is her college roommate, Nancy Whitehead:
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I'm like, 99% certain that Ryan North intended for them to end up as a couple and Disney!Marvel told him no. So he decided to make them AS GAY FOR EACH OTHER AS POSSIBLE without explicitly saying that they were a couple, and it ended up going under the radar. What follows is evidence for that claim. I’m going to put a "read more” after this so it doesn’t clutter everyone’s dashboards, but please read on if you’re interested. There’s a lot of cute gayness after this point. I’m also going to put all of the image descriptions at the end, since they take up a lot of space and I don’t want to break up the flow of the post. Finally, a quick spoiler alert for one arc in the middle of the series and a couple major plot points from the final few issues.
AND THEY WERE ROOMMATES
So for a while it was just kind of hinted at that they’re in a relationship, mostly because they were basically domestic life partners for like, two whole years in-universe before the comic run ended. But it really came to a head with an arc that was ran about 2/3 of the way through the series. Some pictures of them being, like, so cute together in general and/or talking about how much they care about each other before I get to that arc, though: 
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Also Doreen describes her and Nancy's cat as "co-parented" in one of the last issues:
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ANYWAY, THE ARC. THE HYPERTIME ARC. So one of the villains created for the Squirrel Girl run (I think they liked making weird shit canon just because they could) was a dude who went by the name "EpicCrimez". He’s a crime streamer. He livestreams his crimes to an online audience. I don't know. *Throws up hands*
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He had some kind of laser gun that he built out of scavenged alien tech but didn't really know what it did, so he shot it at Doreen and Nancy for kicks. It shot them into hypertime, so suddenly the rest of the world was moving at a fraction of the pace that they were. They were moving so quickly that they were slated to live out their entire lives over the span of a single weekend if they didn't figure out how to reverse the effects. And...they did. Live out their entire lives together. For the two of them, they were the only two people in the world. There were other people, but they looked like statues unless you spent a very long time observing them. Doreen and Nancy grew old together in a world where they only had each other. This is an incredibly cute domestic scene from a little while after they found themselves in hypertime:
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Gosh, I wish I could find more official art from that arc of them just living together, it was so good. But the point is, they were both old by the time that Nancy figured out how to get them out of hypertime. And it wasn't ideal. Their bio signatures were stored in the gun that EpicCrimez shot, and they could essentially "reboot" their bodies from when they were first shot and send themselves back into the regular timestream. But they wouldn't remember anything about the life that they had shared together. Nancy almost didn't want to do it. She raised the possibility of them just living out the rest of their lives together, because she didn't want to forget their life together. This is the conversation they had:
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"I don't regret any of it. I don't want to lose it, and I don't want to lose us." "You're not getting rid of me that easily." Every time I look at that last picture, which took up an entire page of the comic, I start to cry. We’re seeing the final moments of two people who love each other more than anything, who were each other's entire lives, savoring their last moments together and wondering what the future holds. Sacrificing the life that they built together so that their younger selves could live a better, fuller one. Dying in each other’s arms, scared but comforted by the fact that they had each other. And then the arc ends, and they can't remember anything, so the status quo is restored. They have some paintings they made of each other while they were living together in hypertime, but they move on pretty quickly without ever knowing the significance of those lived decades. Still, it's clear in the arcs that follow and the adventures they embarked on afterward that they would die for each other. All of that continues until the end of the last arc. Their shared apartment's been blown up at this point by a supervillain who wanted to ruin Doreen’s life before eventually killing her. And in the aftermath of the fight, they're sifting through the wreckage for anything that survived (don't worry, the cat got out in time) when they find the picture that they painted of themselves during the hypertime arc:
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They have a really cute conversation about how this chapter of their life is over, but they're going to be okay and they're going to build a new life together. And then Nancy basically tells Doreen that she can't live without her:
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And then Doreen says something super queer-coded about how she likes the idea of the world knowing her secret identity now:
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On the very last page of the comic, after all of the action is over and the series is about to end, they're talking to each other in what's supposed to be a twitter thread and Doreen asks Nancy a very thinly veiled question about whether she still wants to spend time with her now that her identity's out. She pretends it's about a class project, but it's really not about the class project. Here's how that conversation goes:
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With no knowledge of what happened during the weekend when they shared their entire lives together, without ever having heard Doreen say it to her before, Nancy’s heart still knows which words to choose. "...you're not getting rid of me that easily. <3" I believe that the author of the series, Ryan North, did as much as he possibly could to portray them as a couple without saying it outright. And as the last piece of evidence to support that claim, I want to share a response he wrote in one of the series' last-ever letter columns:
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"as for more Doreen and Nancy, I hope so too. A Squirrel Girl book without Nancy would feel like--like--like some sort of hypothetical "Super" "Man" book without an equally hypothetical "Lois" "Lane"!" It's easy to write off this analysis as wishful thinking, or as a misreading of the subtext. But when the author of the series says that these two characters are meant to always be together and compares them to one of the most famous couples in any comic series ever, it's clear that there's more to it than that. 
Some Additional Thoughts: 1) Doreen and Nancy are both probably bisexual or pansexual, since they both expressed romantic interest in men throughout the series but they’re both clearly interested in each other too. There might be an element of demiromanticism there as well if part of the reason that they’re into each other romantically is because of how emotionally close they’ve become over the years. I want to make sure that that facet of their romantic orientations doesn’t get erased, because bi and pan folks get erased enough as it is. Neither Doreen nor Nancy are lesbians, just super-cool WLWs.
2) HERE’S WHAT THE ISSUE 50 VARIANT COVER LOOKED LIKE
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That’s NOT a fun, totally straight way to pose with your platonic gal pal. They’re so incredibly cute together! I have no words! In Closing If you got this far, thank you so much for letting me talk to you about a comic that’s very important to me, and a couple in that comic that I care about very much. I spent way too long making this (six hours and counting), mostly in writing the image descriptions, and I’m very proud of my work but very tired now. Hyperfixation is a hell of a drug. If this resonated with you, please consider reblogging it so that more folks can see it. If not, even a like is nice. I’d also love to engage with people who have their own thoughts, so feel free to leave some comments in the notes if you’ve got an idea/a reaction/any additional cute Doreen/Nancy scenes that you’d like to share with me. At any rate, this post has gone on long enough and I don’t want to ask y’all to read any more than you have to. So have a great day, good morning / afternoon / night, and stay safe. Thanks again for reading! ~Rachel Tikvah, AKA @transthaumaturge Image Descriptions: Image 1: [ID: Squirrel Girl, a young woman with light skin, is posing in front of a brick wall that she seems to have crashed through, leaving a perfect outline of her body. She’s facing away but looking backwards over her shoulder at us and smiling. She’s flexing upward with her right arm and has her left fist resting on her left hip. Her sidekick, a squirrel named Tippy-Toe, is standing in the cutout she left in the wall and is making the same exact pose while wearing a light pink bow around her neck. Squirrel Girl is wearing brown lace-up boots, fur-lined hot pants over grey tights, and a brown fur-lined jacket with sleeves that come up to her forearms and a symbol of an acorn embroidered into the back. She’s also wearing a hairband with fake squirrel ears on it over short reddish-brown hair. She has a large squirrel tail coming out of her hot pants that sweeps down in a curve behind her lower legs. The illustration is drawn so that everything is bathed in the light of a sunset, and Doreen is casting shadows on the wall in front of her.] Image 2: [ID: Two frames depicting a scene between Doreen and Nancy in their college dorm room, with many cardboard boxes still not unpacked and sitting on a bare bed mattress. Nancy Whitehead is a young woman with dark brown skin and short, curly black hair. She's wearing black tights, a white dress-top, and a yellow cardigan over that. Her arms are crossed as she holds her white cat, Mew, against her chest. Doreen is wearing grey tights and a black long-sleeve shirt with a wide collar and white stripes across the chest. She's holding Tippy-Toe up to Nancy with both hands so she can see her better. The following dialogue ensues: Nancy: "A squirrel? But weren't you the one who was all about pets not being allowed in--" Doreen: "Yeah, I know. But this really interesting person I met today told me that obeying an unjust law is itself unjust." Nancy: "...You know, I was worried I'd get a weird roommate, but you're all right, Doreen Green."] Image 3: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are both sitting on a lavender-pink couch in nightclothes. Doreen has short, orange hair. She is wearing a loose-fitting grey long-sleeve shirt and steel-blue cutoff shorts; Nancy has cropped black hair. She is wearing a dark purple top with sleeves that come down to her upper arms, and loose-fitting navy-blue shorts that come down to her lower thighs. Doreen is side-hugging Nancy as she says, with an ecstatically happy smile, “Nancy, you’re the greatest. You know that, right?” Nancy gives Doreen a full smile as she responds, “I’d always suspected it, but it is nice to have it confirmed.”] Image 4: [ID: Nancy is shown from the shoulders up. She has short, curly black hair. She’s wearing large, disc-shaped gold dangle earrings, and a red jacket with prominent shoulders and a yellow collar. She’s fixing the observer with an angry, determined stare as she says, “She knows this man wouldn’t dream about betraying her, or he’d have to answer to me.”] Image 5: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are eating breakfast at the brown, circular kitchen table in their apartment. Doreen’s wearing a skin-tight athletic crop top that’s striped in black, red, white, and blue. Her arm muscles are well-defined and clearly visible as she puts a spoon in her mouth, closing her eyes as she does so. She has a bowl of cereal in front of her, and half a banana in front of that. Nancy is sitting to her left in a pink camisole top that’s also exposing her muscles, scrolling through something on her smartphone. Her hair is in a yellow fabric wrap that’s knotted on one side of her head. A cup of coffee sits in front of her. The clear blue sky is visible through the window centered on the wall behind them.] Image 6: [ID: Nancy and Doreen are facing away from the vantage point, walking towards an Empire State University campus building and holding hands with their fingers intertwined. Nancy is wearing a long knee-length grey coat and black knee-high boots, with a baby-blue side bag hanging from her left shoulder. Doreen is wearing a magenta sweatshirt with the periwinkle-lined hood down, light brown form-fitting denim pants, and black ankle-high boots, with a dark brown side bag hanging from her right shoulder. Trees and bushes hem the walkway in on either side. The building in front of them is dark red, with glass doors and a row of floor-to-ceiling windows on the second floor. Doreen is saying “...we’re just going to have to take the long way around.”] Image 7: [ID: Doreen is facing towards the vantage point and is visible from the legs up, standing in front of a pile of rubble in the background. She’s wearing high-waisted light blue shorts over black tights, and a red windbreaker with sleeves ending at her upper arms that’s opened to reveal a white t-shirt underneath. Tippy-Toe is sitting on her shoulder. There are two people facing Doreen, each slightly in frame and silhouetted in black against the light of the setting sun. Doreen is fixing them with an angry, determined expression, resting her right fist at her hip while she gesticulates with her left hand and says, “So! I don’t know about you all, but Melissa kidnapping my friend and blowing up my life and my house and almost blowing up my co-parented cat makes me feel like giving her a piece of my mind. Friends...”] Image 8: [ID: A full comic page. EpicCrimez is looking like a dork in a green and black skin-tight jumpsuit, bright red ski goggles, and a green wig cap with his brown hair sticking out the back in a mullet. He’s standing inside a jewelry store and holding up a fist of expensive gems and pearls-on-strings as holds up his smartphone and speaks into it. He’s facing off against Squirrel Girl, with her allies Koi Boi and Chipmunk Hunk on her right, and Nancy and Brain Drain on the left. The following scene ensues: EpicCrimez: “And for those of you just tuning in, welcome to another successful heist by your boy EpicCrimez, streaming live! Now with 10% more live crime action than any other streamer! Don’t forget to like and subscribe!! I know some of you in EpicCrimez Nation have been forgetting to do that lately. Not acceptable.” Squirrel Girl: “You picked the wrong small business to rob, crime-initiator! Because this mall is protected by super heroes.” Brain Drain: “HELLO” SG: “And also an unrelated civilian friend I brought along too!” Nancy: (Not looking up from her phone) “ ‘Sup.” EC: “Check it out--Squirrel Girl and her miscellaneous friends are here! It’s action you won’t find on any other channel!” SG: “Are you...streaming your robberies?” (Nancy pockets her phone) EC: “Yeah I am! For money reasons! And with you “heroes” in it, I’ll make even more!” SG: (Whispering to Nancy:) “Question: a fight scene just gets him more traffic, which lets him profit from this crime even more--so does this mean we don’t fight him?” N: (Whispering back:) “I feel like letting him go causes more harm, but I look forward to us teasing apart the moral implications of this later.” SG: “Nice.” SG: (No longer whispering:) “I’ll like and subscribe, EpicCrimez! I’ll like fighting crime, and subscribe... to a worldview wherein the strong protect the weak!” EC: “Oh my gosh, are you like wholesome Spider-Man or something??” At the bottom of the page, small text says: “Wholesome Spider-Man, Wholesome Spider-Man/Does whatever a wholesome spider can/Is he tough?/Listen bud/He’s here to hear you talk about your day and tell you it’ll all be fine while taking you out for your favorite meal for dinner because he knows you deserve it.”] Image 9: [ID: Another full comic page. Doreen and Nancy are in their apartment together, and their friends Tomas and Brian (AKA Chipmunk Hunk and Brain Drain respectively) are frozen as they look down at the machine that Nancy is on her knees in front of, working on. Nancy, barefoot, is wearing cerulean-blue athletic pants, a black long-sleeve spandex shirt without shoulders, and narrow-framed glasses. Her hair is partially covered by a yellow cloth head wrap tied on the left side, with black dreadlocks spilling out the side and back. The machine in front of her is made of dull grey metal, about a meter tall and roughly circular. Wires dangle out of a hatch that Nancy is fiddling with. Doreen is wearing a flowing, dark-purple pantsuit with wide, ankle-length legs and a halter top with the sleeves tied off at her shoulders. Her shoes are light-brown ankle boots with a horizontal gap on the bridge of each foot. Her wavy orange hair is parted in the middle and down past her shoulders. She looks incredibly cute. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “What do you think?” Nancy: “I think--come on you stupid screw--I think we’re still years away from this thing working, if it ever does. Who knew time machine construction is really hard, except of course for everyone who has attempted it?” (She wipes her forehead with the back of her hand) D: “Hah! No, I mean my new outfit.” N: (Looking up and checking her gf out:) “Doreen! You look amazing!!” D: “Liberated it from a very expensive department store uptown!” N: (Now standing) “Tony paid for it?” D: Tony will eventually discover he was kind enough to leave some expensive jewelry in trade, yes. I pinned a note to him so he knows.” N: “There really are advantages to being friends with billionaire playboy genius philanthropists.” D: “Right?!” N: (Taking Doreen’s hands in hers:) “It’s a shame we can’t take a picture of you all dolled up.” D: “Not without standing still for a few months, yeah. But I was thinking about that. I picked up something else at another store downtown. Thought maybe it could help us with that.” (Holding up a shopping bag with one hand while still holding onto Nancy’s hand with the other:) “Nancy Whitehead, I thought you and I might take up painting sometime.” At the bottom of the page, small text says: “Tony Stark moves from meeting to meeting, his body accumulating dozens of notes every second. He sighs. Stuff like this didn’t happen before he knew Doreen. But then he smiles, because after all...stuff like this didn’t happen before he knew Doreen.”] Images 10-16: [ID: Several pages worth of comic frames, posted together to depict one scene. Doreen and Nancy are now old women, likely in their seventies or eighties. Doreen has short, grey hair. She’s wearing a tan button-up waistcoat and an orange ascot, brown flats with an olive-green skirt, knee-length and softly pleated. Her tail is sticking out the back of her skirt over the top, bushy and brown but with stiffer, less-dense hair. Nancy has her grey-black hair done up in a ponytail, a mass of tight curls behind her head. She’s wearing thin oval glasses, black dress pants, black flats, and a lavender cardigan with a flower motif along the edges, open to show the yellow-orange top underneath. They’re standing in front of a completed time machine. On either side are tall pieces of machinery, and in the middle is a round, flat metal dais hooked up to everything else with snaking cables. The following scene ensues: Nancy: “So...this is it, babe. The new machine.” Doreen: “Your secret project! Nancy, it looks like you started from scratch!” N: That’s because I did. I finally realized our old machine was never going to work. Maybe if we had a few more decades, but...there’s no time. And given that our backs are to the wall, I took a risk. I disassembled the gun right down to the metal, and examined all the parts. And I did find something: a data chip. Doreen, the gun stored our bio signatures when it us.” D: “What are you saying?” N: “I’m saying my new machine won’t send us back in time, and we’ll still have lost a weekend of real time. But it will restore our bodies to normal time.” D: (Hugging Nancy tight:) “Nancy! You saved us!!” N: (Resting her hands on Doreen’s shoulders:) “Not--quite. There’s a catch, Doreen. Our bodies will make it...but we won’t. Look, Doreen...I’m an old woman. I’ve spent most of my life in hypertime. This wasn’t how I saw my life going, but...I don’t regret any of it. I don’t want to lose it, and I don’t want to lose us.” D: “I don’t understand.” N: “It’s like restoring from backup. Our bodies will be restored to how they were the moment we were first hit. But--that necessarily includes our brains, too. Everything we’ve done since we entered hypertime--our entire lives spent together...we’ll forget.” (She looks at Doreen in distress) D: “I don’t either, Nancy. You’ve been the most important person in my life. But if we do go back--we can do it again. All of it. It might not happen again quite the same way, but--well, like you say...we’ll have all the time in the world.” N: (Their faces inches apart, they both tilt their heads down and smile sadly:) “Twist my arm, why don’t you.” (They both step onto the dais holding hands, and blue energy starts to ripple around them:) “You filled up Spidey’s web-shooters before we go?” D: “Yep. Again.” N: “You and me, saving the world.” D: “Well,” (holding Nancy’s hand in both of her own) "No reason we can’t do it twice.” N: “You know, there’s a chance things could turn out differently, now that we’ll have video games to distract us. In 40 years we might decide we don’t like hanging out after all.” D: (Hugging Nancy even tighter than before as the energy from the time machine starts to envelop them, resting her face in the nape of Nancy’s neck:) “Nah. You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”] Image 17: [ID: Doreen and Nancy are sifting through the charred rubble of their apartment as night starts to fall around them. Doreen is wearing faded blue jeans and a navy blue t-shirt with a Captain America star in the middle. Over top of the shirt, she’s wearing a dark reddish-brown leather vest with four metal studs at the four points of the folded-out collar. Nancy is wearing black tights and a light green long-sleeve shirt with olive-green sleeves. The front of the shirt has a picture of Cat-Thor, Cat God of Cat Thunder’s head on it. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “So I know we’re only a few hours into it, Nancy, but I think my identity being public isn’t gonna be as bad as I thought.” Nancy: “Oh?” D: “Yeah, Tony’s given me lots of tips, and it does honestly help to know that my parents are protected by a robot tree with laser eyes and my friends live in a city with the most super heroes per square mile.” N: “Most super villains too, but--Hold on. I think I found it.” (Nancy lifts a picture frame out of the wreckage, charred around the edges but otherwise no worse for wear. It has a painting inside of it of Doreen and Nancy, arm-in-arm, from hypertime. Doreen is wearing the lavender pantsuit from before, and Nancy is wearing a tight-fitting lilac dress.) “...And it looks like you and I made it through just fine.”] Images 18-19: [ID: Two later comic panels from the same scene. They’re wearing the same outfits, but Nancy’s now cradling her white cat, Mew, in the crook of her left arm while she holds onto the picture frame with her right hand. The following scene ensues: Doreen: “Come on, let’s talk about it! If we’re starting a new chapter in our lives, and we can decide what’s in it, what do you want it to contain?” Nancy: “Doreen...” D: “What are the three things you can’t live without, Nancy Whitehead?” N: (Holding up the picture so that Doreen can see it:) “Fine. If you must know, all this girl needs to be happy are cats and squirrels and knitting and computers and friends and secret tattoos and super heroes and lots and lots of love. Also food and shelter. And water. And internet.” D: “That’s more than three things.”] Image 20: [ID: Same scene as before, a single frame with a close-up on Doreen from her chest upwards. Doreen cups her chin with one of her hands and says, “Honestly--I thought about it. I really did. But I realized that where I am now, I’m safe and I’m loved and I kinda like the idea of not having to lie to people anymore, you know? Even if it is just a lie of omission. I want to share my whole self with the world. I don’t want to have to hide who I am anymore.”] Image 21: [ID: Something resembling a twitter thread, with dialogue between Nancy and Doreen stacked chronologically as horizontal boxes. Their respective names and handles are at the top of each of their comments. Nancy is Nancy W. and @sewwiththeflo, Doreen is Squirrel Girl and @unbeatablesg. The following conversation ensues: Nancy: “You think I’d leave you high and dry??” Doreen: “I think I don’t want our lateness harming your grades and therefore harming your post-secondary education or career choices and therefore harming your ENTIRE LIFE?!” “So yeah I think you should switch to someone else, real talk. I honestly don’t mind, I promise.” Nancy: “Please. If there’s one thing I know about you, about me, and about how we spend our future together, it’s this. Doreen Green...” “...you’re not getting rid of me that easily. <3″] Image 22: [ID: A paragraph of text, black text on a yellow background. “As for more Doreen and Nancy, I hope so too. A Squirrel Girl book without Nancy would feel like--like--like some sort of hypothetical “Super” “Man” book without an equally hypothetical “Lois” “Lane”!”] Image 23: [ID: A group picture of Squirrel Girl and friends sitting down on a grassy hill and watching the sunset together. Kraven the Hunter is in the foreground for some reason, looking almost directly at the camera. In the background we see Koi Boi, Mary Mahajan, Chipmunk Hunk, Brain Drain, and Mew the Cat. In the middle of the shot, Doreen and Nancy sit together. Doreen is in her superhero outfit with Tippy-Toe on her right shoulder, and Nancy is in a yellow cardigan and jeans on Doreen’s left. They’re holding hands, fingers intertwined, as Nancy leans against Doreen with her whole body. Their heads are tilted inward towards each other, the side of Doreen’s head touching the side of Nancy’s, as they look off into the distance together.]
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dennou-translations · 4 years
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Violet Evergarden Booklet 1
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That day was a special one for me, but to the rest of the world, this was not the case.
   Ann Magnolia and Her Nineteenth Birthday
   There was a number of things I had to do on the special day called today.
I would wake up in the morning and check the weather. As if a tale were beginning, I would turn the curtains over and look outside the window.
The radiant daylight shone on my eyes. Today was sunny. Knowing that made me happy. That I had woken up enveloped in sunshine. That I didn’t have to worry about my letter getting drenched in rain. It was almost as if the truth of these facts was blessing the day.
——I’m happy.
Very happy.
I didn’t usually say this, but I felt like saying it today, so I whispered as I laid back down, “Good morning.”
Husky with wake, my voice echoed through the quiet bedroom. I wandered around in search for someone to have a conversation with from the words “good morning”. However, I couldn’t find anyone to hear them, so they pointlessly vanished somewhere.
If you were just by yourself, words would die as soon as they were born. I knew that as the truth of this world. Like flowers that withered without changing colors, like small birds that couldn’t endure the coldness of midwinter, my words would promptly die. After all, words were tools for people to communicate their intentions. So if there was no other party, they would all but die. That was evident.
There was no one who would reply to me with a “good morning”. There was no one in this house that would do a morning greeting, so if anyone were to say that this much was obvious, it sure was. But in my memories, someone whose voice I had already forgotten would return my words. In a warm and soft voice that was probably how my mother sounded, they would be returned to me.
“Good morning, Ann.”
——Good morning.
“Today is a special day, huh.”
——I know; I’d been counting them with my fingers.
“Your long-awaited birthday.”
With a nod, I stood up.
Today, I was turning nineteen. Twelve years had passed since I had been left all by myself when I was seven years old. I reflected thoroughly upon that reality alone and proudly.
I left my bedroom still wearing a negligee, heading to the spiral staircase. There were portraits hanging in rows from the staircase’s wall.
“My, you’re going outside dressed like this just because you’re at home?”
Decorated with pictures of family members, the wall used to be terrifying for me when I was a child, but it became less so after my mother was added to them. I would go up and down those stairs countless times every day, but the only spot that I would end up directing my gaze to for a few seconds was the portrait of my mother and my childhood self.
If, by any chance, there was strength to the thing called “love”, I thought, if there was a force residing within love, wouldn’t this image start moving one day, since it was the only one I looked at as if I were yearning for something?
I would end up embracing such fantasies.
“I won’t change, no matter how much you stare at me. By the way, doesn’t my complexion look a little bad in this portrait? I should have had more paint put over it.”
Of course, it was just a fabrication.
Having come down the stairs, I went to the front entrance, its door a little worn-out. I should call a repairer. The house was a living being just like me, and since it was already quite old, it was always broken somewhere.
“I also want you to tend to the garden. When was the last time you held a broom?”
As I came outside, I could see this place’s whole scenery. There was nothing but lush grassland and tree-lined roads. The idyllic sight was awfully boring, but above that, it was beautiful, so if you made a frame with your fingers, you would immediately have a scenic picture. In this entire area, there were no other houses in sight. Of course. This territory was under the control of the Magnolias, hence this view belonged to me, the family head.
As long as I didn’t sell or give it away, this landscape would never change. And, same as the previous family heads, I didn’t wish for it to change. Neither did I wish to leave this place. Even if I was all by myself.
“Ann, let’s take a look inside the mailbox.”
I took a look inside the mailbox. Perhaps because it was still early in the morning, there was nothing in it yet.
“It’ll surely be coming soon.”
Today was the day when I, Ann Magnolia, was born. Every year on my birthday, I would get letters from my late mother. Letters from my mother, who by now had become a portrait, would be delivered to me.
“There is no such thing as a letter that needn’t be delivered, Milady.”
To be precise, letters with my mother’s feelings blown into them and ghostwritten by an Auto-Memories Doll would be delivered to me. It was a strange story, but a true one.
“Auto-Memories Doll”. Long had passed ever since this name caused a stir.
The creator was an authority in the field of mechanical dolls, Professor Orlando. His wife, Molly, was a novelist, and all had begun with the posterior loss of her eyesight. He then invented a machine to perform ghostwriting for his beloved wife and named it Auto-Memories Doll. Nowadays, people who worked as ghostwriters were also called Auto-Memories Dolls.
When I was seven, my mother, who was plagued with a serious illness, summoned a beautiful blue-eyed Auto-Memories Doll to our manor. She made her write several letters and hired a postal company to deliver them to me even after her death. She had been secretly planning out a few decades worth of birthday messages for her beloved daughter.
The person who had made this request was an oddball, but the ones who had accepted the job were quite odd themselves. Had they not imagined that someone would abandon it at some point? Had they sealed the contract for such a heavy, troublesome work without any refusal because they were horribly bad at their business, or was it because they were too nice? Having grown into a creditable lady and come to understand the world to a certain extent, I would ponder about such things. Surely, it was because they were nice. Thanks to them, even though I didn’t have a single relative now, at least on my birthday I could recall what being loved by someone felt like.
Just like that, I stood fidgety in front of the mailbox. Closing my eyes, I cleared off the dust on the box of my memories.
——I remember. That she had come around. That she would be over there, quietly writing letters. I remember the figure of that person and of my smiling mother. Surely, until I died...
That few-days’ time had been seared into my mind. Back then, my... Back then, Ann Magnolia’s frizzy hair was still short, and she was selfish and pretended to be taller. She was a helpless child. A very young one. How old she was? Seven years old. An age where one would still long for their mother. Her mother was the center of the world. If her mother died, she wouldn’t even be able to breathe. She was that kind of child. She was aware that her emotions were unstable and that she tended to act a little rashly.
Most people would treat someone like me nicely, and that was it. People who had their eyes on my fortune attempted to get close to me, but once they noticed that I had no intention to let them do so, they never showed their faces to me again.
That person—that person... Violet Evergarden. That Auto-Memories Doll was a bit different from other people, I thought...
Whenever I wondered what was so different about her, I would find myself thinking.
Back then, Ann Magnolia had fallen in love with a mysterious girl who had come around all of a sudden. It was a little girl’s romantic love out of adoration. She both hated and liked the Auto-Memories Doll who had come around out of the blue and stolen her time with her mother.
——What was it that I liked about her?
She was a taciturn and unsociable. A silent porcelain doll. She seemed extremely adult-like. But looking back, she often reacted like a child who knew nothing. Even when I gave her dolls, she didn’t know how to play. Neither did she have any knowledge of how to solve riddles. Even when I made her touch bugs, she never ran away like my mother or our maid. Whenever I invited her to join hands and spin around, we would do it to no end.
“Fufu...”
She was a weird person. Yes, a weird one.
Children would look at adults and measure them by whether they were scary or foolish, would be their allies or enemies, would give them candy or not, and other such things. They would stare very, very fixatedly and judge the grown-ups.
She... that beautiful Auto-Memories Doll... Violet Evergarden was not an adult.
——Yes, she was... how should I put it? She was Violet Evergarden.
Which was why I had snuggled up to her, the same type of person as myself, just like two cats nestling close to each other, I thought.
She was a beautiful child. A beautiful beast. I found her eccentric self to be cool, so I liked her.
Where was she now and what was she doing, I wondered.
I was turning nineteen, but back in the day, she must have been younger than I am now. For her to have prosthetic arms, it wasn’t hard to imagine what had happened to her at the time, when the war had just ended. But surely, there was no doubt that her life had been full of many more ups and downs than the story I had in mind.
Did she not express her emotions enough because she was carrying some sort of wound in her heart? She was such a beautiful person, so she must have won over the heart of some wonderful person by now...
I shook my head left and right. I mustn’t have unjust suspicions of her. I shouldn’t prod into how I was back then – into the Ann Magnolia of back then – and taint it. Even if it was just me with myself, I mustn’t do that. Because all of the joys and sorrows from that time belonged to the old me, who had endured those days. Having become an adult, I shouldn’t have any say over the mental landscape of my old self, as a third party.
Having grown up, I observed my own land, which spread out endlessly. The scent of gently swaying grass and flowers, the chattering of birds, the clouds that moved slowly in the blue sky. It felt like they would be here just like that for a hundred more years.
“It’s not coming, huh. Let’s go eat breakfast.”
Since the postman wasn’t showing up, I had no choice but go back into the manor.
I had been working at home lately. I used to go outside and enjoy the world when I was a student, but I realized that, in the end, I liked being in my house. Maybe this was a Magnolia bloodline thing.
As for my from-home job, I worked with legal counseling. When I was little, I had experienced disputes amongst my own relatives over me and my assets. That was the reason why, if I had to give any.
My mother had left me with a talented legal advisor. A person of outstanding character, who still concerned himself with me even now. As a young child, I excelled at catching insects that I had never seen before, but I didn’t have the means to oppose to the people who wanted to steal this land from me one way or another.
I had started off working at the city’s legal information center, introduced to me by the legal advisor, who had taken me in, and only recently had I become independent. Living in the city had made me realize many things. That there were many people in this world who weren’t protected like me. And that this wasn’t something those people themselves wanted, but things had turned out in such a way due to the environment they were in.
The ascension of the ghostwriting business had a similar background. Children would be made to work like adults, unable to go to school, so when they grew up and had to sign any documents, they couldn’t even write their own names.
People like that, who had been raised in environments where no one helped them, weren’t a rarity. I had heard that the literacy rate was currently rising, but it would still take a long time for this to become something unusual.
Just like with ghostwriting, one could become somebody’s ally through the law. It was especially necessary for children who had been thrown out like me and younglings who were about to enter the world of adults, I believed. Because they could earn completely different futures as a result if they acquired knowledge.
“The law is a weapon,” my legal advisor would say. I agreed with that. My property had been protected by this weapon many times. Some people would say that education was the weapon, but the situations for putting it to use were too limited. Weapons exerted their true value exactly when you had to protect yourself from falling victim to unjust acts or insults.
If possible, I wanted to be someone who could protect others. I wanted to tell people who didn’t know what to do and had become incapable of even walking on their own, “It’s all right; I’ll be your ally”. Because I wanted someone to do that for me back when I was alone.
My reason for choosing law was rooted in this kind of self-righteous way of thinking.
Since I worked from home, I didn’t earn much. To be honest, people would think that being a professional was a pastime for a landowning wealthy lady. I was fine with that.
The people who came to visit me in this remote place were generally in critical situations and had nothing. Those who had something would go to the city. They would go to the city, bow their heads to some famous person, be served a fine brand of tea... and have a graceful conversation while drinking it.
If I could, I wanted to get close to people, just like her. Just like the Auto-Memories Doll who had told me on that day that it was okay to cry. Even if for self-satisfaction.
Speaking of which, I thought as I checked the calendar. Today was my birthday, so I intended to wait for the postman the whole day and hadn’t scheduled any appointments, but a client was coming tomorrow. I should clean up the reception room at least a little.
“Hey, Ann. It is your birthday, so how about going outside with your friends and having a meal with them?”
I had to sweep the floor, take the garbage off the carpet and dust the dirt on the furniture.
“Even just eating something tasty is enough, Ann.”
Right, I should bake some sweets to serve to the costumer tomorrow. It could also be used as celebration for my birthday.
“Ann, aren’t you lonely all by yourself?”
If I was certain, that person had eaten the sweets I baked when we first met with relish. He had a sweet tooth.
As I recalled the figure of that young entrepreneur eating, looking embarrassed and delighted, a smile surfaced naturally. Out of the people that I was currently engaging with, he might be the one whose visit I looked forward to the most. I did think that men were frowny and sullen creatures, but he was adorable.
I rolled up my sleeves with an “all right” and headed to the kitchen.
   “Delivery.”
As the front door’s bell rang and the voice of a visitor ensued, I frantically flung away my bowl and whisk and ran. This is what happens when you distractedly make sweets for about an hour. I was covered in flour and looking unbecoming, but there was no helping it.
“Yes, I’m coming.”
I opened the door in high spirits, and standing there was a postman wearing the uniform of the city’s post office, which I was familiar with. I was disappointed enough that even I myself would think it was a bit childish of me. The other didn’t see my facial expression as he requested my signature for the express delivery without looking at me, but I wound up having an impolite attitude.
——It wasn’t the CH Postal Company.
My mother’s birthday messages were being kept by the CH Postal Company, a mail company that had its main office located in Leiden – the capital of Leidenschaftlich, a southernmost military nation. Therefore, if a different company had come, then the mail wasn’t from my mother.
“Thank you very much.”
I had received three packages. One was a table clock from my legal advisor. The others were accessories and a shawl that were trending in the city from my friends.
There were people getting married and having children upon turning nineteen. All of my closest friends had been quick to marry. Both my opinion that secluding themselves in their homes was a waste in this era of professional women and my envy at the fact that they had found themselves a partner in an early stage of their lives coexisted in the depths of my mind.
“You don’t have to hurry; if you don’t want to do it, you don’t have to.”
Having lost my mother, with this vast land and this manor of excessively elegant exterior in my possession... I couldn’t think that having a family wouldn’t be a good thing.
——Family... family... family, huh?
Did I want a family? Did I really? Those genuine questions surfaced in my mind first-thing.
Welcoming a family would mean welcoming that person’s life. It was an extremely heavy choice. “In health and sickness,” people would lightheartedly say. I believed there were actually few people who properly understood it.
My friends who had married. The people who walked around the city. Lovers and family members from all over the world – everyone. Did they all truly understand? They only looked on the happy side, so could they endure it when a sad scenario arrived upon them? Wouldn’t they end up thinking that not loving the other person would have been better?
“Human beings are creatures that love others in pursuit of happiness, Ann.”
In my experience, since I had seen off the person who was most important to me, the truth was that I didn’t want to go through it ever again. Being told to do it one more time was too hard. Even twenty years later, painful things would be painful.
I brought my consciousness back to reality.
Colorful ribbons, extravagant wrappings and wonderful gifts. As my social disposition was coming to a slight halt, those people were irreplaceable to me. I had to write thank-you notes right away. For these kinds of things, the faster, the better. Because it conveyed sincerity.
I should go back to my bedroom and look for the stationery and envelopes. They were surely somewhere there.
“Ann.”
——Aah, but was it a pretty stationery?
Maybe I should choose a different one, fitting of these wonderful presents.
“Ann, listen.”
They were surely items that took a while to be picked, so I should respond to the other party’s feelings the same way. There were many things to be watchful of here. I had to do it quick. I had to do it soon.
“Please listen.”
Nobody else was going to do it; I was the one who had to. No matter what, I had to do it. I had to taste joy and sadness all by myself and end it fast. Because I was alone. Hurry. I had to hurry and do it.
Nevertheless, I couldn’t move.
“Ann.”
I was in the middle of making sweets, and writing thank-you notes required some preparation. Above all, I couldn’t calm down until my mother’s letter arrived.
Giving several reasons, I made up several excuses not to move.
“Ann... it’s okay.”
I suddenly felt exhausted. Everything became a bother. Even though hands were covered in flour and I was still wearing an apron, I lay on the couch, rolled into fetal position and scrunched down.
Although I had received such marvelous gifts, the feeling of happiness didn’t last. Even though it was something to be grateful for to the point I could be in a good mood the whole day, the feeling of happiness didn’t last. It didn’t last.
“Ann, it’s okay.”
Today was that kind of day.
“Ann, don’t force yourself; I’m sorry.”
——I’m sorry.
“Sorry...”
——I’m sorry.
“Ann, I’m sorry...”
To me, my birthday was...
“...for leaving you behind when you were so small.”
...not my day. It was my mother’s.
——Mom. Why? Just why? Why, Mom? Why did you die sooner than the mothers of the other kids? What is it that went wrong? Did the fact that I was born itself become a burden to you? If so, then I shouldn’t have been born.
I loved you, Mom. Did you know that? I liked you a whole, whole lot. Tired of hearing this? But you didn’t know it, right? Even if you knew, you probably didn’t understand how much I liked you. I’m sure you had no idea how much.
When I realized it, I had more time seeing you in a grave than otherwise. But you’re everywhere in our house. On the sofa that you often sat on. In the music that you enjoyed. On the bed that still smells like you. In myself, who resembles you more and more with each day.
Mom, Mom, Mom – you keep reminding me of how much I loved you. When I was little, you were the world itself.
Mom. You loved me. I know that. But I loved you too. I was the one who... I was... I was... I was the one who...
Aah, Mom. Mom, there are so many things I want to tell you. But if I can say it, there’s just one thing.
Mom, you died without knowing how much I loved you, right?
I loved you much more than you could’ve imagined. I really, really suffered when you died. Enough that I couldn’t breathe.
People often say that time heals all wounds. But I really hate that saying. Rather than things being solved, we forget about them, don’t we? People’s voices, facial expressions, gestures – we forget these kinds of things. Yet I remember them in unexpected times. Like, “Oh, yeah, Mom used to like this”. “Oh, yeah, Mom used to hate that”. And then I blame myself vehemently for forgetting them. Like, “How could you have forgotten? She was your whole world”. Like, “How could you have forgotten? She was your only family”. The loop of agony has no end.
I adored you, Mom. I loved you. I loved you, so for just as much love as I had for you, it feels like my heart will break. It feels like my heart will break every time my birthday comes around. Feels like it will break. It’s painful and there’s no helping it.
Tears slip down my cheeks as I laid on my side. I was looking forward to today so much that I didn’t know what to do with myself, and yet I wound up crying again this year. I would’ve been great if I could welcome it with a smile.
A birthday was a special day.
It was nothing to the rest of the world, just an ordinary day, but it was a special one for me. Because... Because it was a day when I could feel Mom coming back to me. I looked forward to it so much that I couldn’t help myself, but at the same time, I was also helplessly sad. Because I felt my mother’s absence more than anything. Because the truth that she wasn’t here was thrust onto me.
Destiny spoke to me. Either that or God did. “Hey, your mother’s already dead. How long you gonna be crying? Stand up. If you’re alive, stand up.”
Since the world was so merciless, all I could do was nod at those words and say, “Yes, yes, true.”
By entrusting my body to hecticness, I was able to remain as someone who could stand on her own feet, just like Destiny and God wanted. I normally didn’t feel loneliness. I didn’t cry. After all, twelve years had already passed. It was weird to cry like this on and on forever. It was weird, right? I wasn’t a kid anymore. I shouldn’t cry too much. That would make me a bad girl. A girl wasn’t suitable to be the family head of the Magnolia household. I had to become a person who my mother could be proud of from within that portrait.
Wasn’t that right? I couldn’t prove the worth of my existence by doing anything else.
But on this day when I was aware that my mother loved me, I was no good. No good. I’d turn into a mess. The seven-year-old Ann Magnolia would come back to me. She’d say it all. She’d end up saying it. Always, always, always. She’d say what I was holding back from saying.
“I’m lonely”, that is.
I had as many ways of spending my birthday as I had birthdays. Surely, there were millions of people in the world whose birthday was today. How were all of them spending it? Were they spending it in a fulfilling way? There definitely were also people who lived their lives either not knowing when their birthday was or forgetting about it.
So I wasn’t miserable. Nor was I comparing myself with them. That wasn’t it. Because there were certainly people somewhere around the world who were feeling as lonely as me.
There was another thing that I had learned during the time I worked in the city. That loneliness wasn’t something only I had. Many people would come to the law firm and ask for advice regarding their troubles. Everyone was burdened with problems of their own. And everyone was a bit lonely in some aspect. It wasn’t just me, so I didn’t feel lonely.
That person too, and that one, and that other one. Everybody was sad in one way or another.
“I have to get up.”
I had stopped doing what I would do by accident – stopped throwing myself into a sea of sadness. The sea of sadness in my head was a real nuisance, yet it was also comfortable as it enveloped my body in gentle waves of self-pity. But I shouldn’t go too far. Or else I wouldn’t be able to stand up again. It wasn’t like food and sweets would materialize from my sadness.
I counted the things I had to do. Bake sweets. Clean up. I had a number of torn aprons, which I would remake into rags. And then... And then...
“Madam Magnolia, are you home?”
A real-life happening immediately pulled me out of my reverie. I ran toward the front door, from where the voice had come. As I opened the door with much vigor while making extremely improper heavy-feet noises, I found two visitors.
“Hum?”
One of them was... Aah, I was waiting for you. It was a postman wearing the CH Postal Company uniform. He was holding under his arm a letter and a package with what was most likely the gift that my mother had arranged for today.
“Aah, excuse me. Please go first.”
The other was the customer who had made an appointment reservation for tomorrow. A stray young entrepreneur. His finely tailored clothes were easy to recognize as something not order-made and that he didn’t like but was wearing regardless.
Had he mistaken the appointment day?
“Erm, then...”
The two had bumped onto each other at the front gate and both had some business with me, so they were probably conceding the turn to one another. Having been granted it, the CH Postal Company’s postman stood before me, politely giving me the letter and present with a slightly tensed-up countenance.
“This is the CH Postal Company. I have come to bring your delivery... You might be already tired of hearing this vocal message so many times, but happy birthday this year too, Madam Magnolia.”
That was a postman I had never seen before. It was a different person from last year.
“T-Tired, you say... There’s no way I would ever be.”
Still, the fact he was saying these lines meant that the demands commissioned by my mother were being properly kept and protected by that company. That was it.
“Thank you very much. For every year, truly... truly. Please tell this to your chairman too.”
“Y-Yes! Our president is the kind of person that gets very happy at inputs from the clients, so I’ll make sure to tell him!”
I had never met the president of the CH Postal Company, but for someone so young to be talking about him in such a familiar-sounding way, he had to be a wonderful person.
“I’m taking it.”
I signed the acceptance document. The postman laughed as if relieved. Also relieved, I finally looked seriously at him. He was a very young postman. Perhaps from about the same generation as me. The freckled boy looked even younger when laughing.
“I became in charge of it this year. It’s a big area, so I ended up getting a bit lost... I made you wait a lot, didn’t I?”
“Eh, no, no.”
“But you came running as if you were eagerly waiting for it.”
“Yes.”
Recalling the surprised faces of the two young men the moment I had opened the door, I trembled with shame. I was supposed to behave elegant and beautifully as the head of the Magnolia family. Yet I was covered in flour, my hair was disheveled because I had been lying down and I had showed up with footsteps that sounded like the ones of a large man.
Touching my cheeks, which were most likely growing red, I said, “I apologize for showing you an embarrassing sight... No matter what, I always wind up restless on this day.”
“Absolutely not. I’m the one who is sorry for coming late. I have already perfectly memorized the way, so please treat me well next year too.” The postman bowed with a “well, then” and ran toward a parked motorcycle.
After seeing him off, I directed my gaze at the other visitor that had been waiting for me. He, too, slowly looked my way.
“Hello.”
The morning sunshine had disappeared, a dazzling midday light filling up for it. It seemed that quite some time had passed while I was sulking on the couch. With a season of fresh green colors as the background, he was supposed to be a foreign body for me... and for this world of mine, yet he blended appallingly well into it.
“Hello.” My voice sounded a little shrill. “Isn’t there any flour on my face?” As I said this while rubbing my cheeks with the sleeve of my dress, he took a handkerchief from his jacket and handed it to me.
Not minding me as I stiffened up in shock, he said with an earnest attitude, “There is, right here.”
“Ah, all right.”
“And here too.”
“I’m sorry. I was making sweets...”
Wiping myself with the neatly folded handkerchief, it almost seemed like I had gone back to being a child. It was the second time today that my cheeks were dyed red.
“Well, what is your matter...?”
“Aah, that’s right. I was nearby and... hum, I heard from Mr. Robert, the one who introduced you to me, that it was your birthday today, so... though it’s presumptuous of me, I was thinking about celebrating it...”
Robert was the law advisor who had been protecting me since my childhood. Now that he had mentioned it, I remembered that he was introduced to me by Robert. The budget wasn’t compatible with the case, so it had been passed over to me.
——“Nearby”?
Finding a strange point in a part of his story, I said timidly, “This whole area... is my land... You had business near here?”
Silence.
“You’re also seeing Mr. Robert even though you’re working with me...?”
He raised a hand my way as if to ask me to wait and averted his face, looking embarrassed. Had I said anything bad?
“I take it back.”
“All right.”
“I lied... I wanted, hum, to spend time with you somehow...”
“Haah...”
Perhaps having become unable to look at me in the eyes, he kept his face turned away and continued speaking to the direction of the day after tomorrow, “Mr. Robert is a teatime friend from a café that I already frequented... He introduced you to me as a favor... And I heard from him the other day that today was your birthday. Also, I did not just happen to come nearby. It’s impossible to come here without a car or carriage. I do not have much money, so I ended up walking the way here. But it was no coincidence; I came here because I had an objective.”
As I asked, “What’s the objective”, he turned over the palm that had been telling me to wait and showed it to me. That “it’s you”.
I was perplexed. This kind of thing hadn’t happened in my life very often. When it did, it was usually people aiming for my fortune, so I vaguely wondered if he was the same as them.
“Want to come in? If it’s just drinking tea together, then...”
In any case, as the head of the Magnolia family, I had to entertain the guest. After this thought worked its way to me, an alarm sounded in my head that he might deem this as an invitation. That wasn’t my intention, so what should I do if he believed it was?
——What’s up with me? I don’t know if I’m happy or scared.
Aah, my heartbeats were so loud. My cheeks were so hot it felt like they were burning.
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——Anyway, I have to say something.
“Hum.”
As I hesitated to speak, he shook his head. “Ah, no. I will have to come again tomorrow, so I’m going home. I have already accomplished my objective.”
“Is that so?” I was a tad out of tune. A little – very relieved.
I observed him while he didn’t try to look at me even a bit. His hands were trembling. Even though he gave off an easygoing impression, he was the type of person who couldn’t hide what was inside.
“I really just came here because I wanted to wish you happy birthday. Just before coming, I hesitated a lot on whether to go today or not... I also don’t have... any presents worthy of a lady like you, so I wanted to at least say these words.”
That sentence surprised my already stunned self even more. “At least these words”, he said. Were there any words that could make his goodwill more obvious?
“I’m sorry. I should have at least arranged something for you, right? Really, a broke man like me showing up out of nowhere... I’m sorry...”
“No, I don’t want material things that much... I prefer this feeling of... wanting to celebrate because it’s my birthday... much more...”
The words cut off midway. What happened to me? Right now, pain and joy were squeezing my chest tightly. It was suffocating.
The easily perceivable love of this person in front of me, as well as his kindness, his sincerity and all these other soft and warm things were appearing in the lonely parts of me and causing me to feel dizzy.
“Ann, can you hear me?”
I had to regain my sanity; I would surely be sober again tomorrow. I shouldn’t open my heart so easily now.
“Ann, please, listen.”
Because the world was cruel. Even if I fell in love with him, sad things were bound to happen.
“Okay? If you’re listening...”
It might be a calculated love; he could just be pretending and was actually a horrible person.
No, I had to wonder about that. It was indeed true that he came the way here on foot. After all, his shoes were dirty with mud. There was grass sticking to it as if he gone through an animal trail.
“If you’re listening, grab onto it.”
Aah, Mom. From now on, I would surely keep questioning you over and over during times like these. Asking you questions in my mind. “Mom, is this correct? Is this the right path,” I would ask. Because you were the only one who had given me love without second intentions. So please, give me an answer.
“Believe in yourself, Ann. Don’t be afraid of love.”
I was sure that the vision of my mother had whispered this to me.
I reached out with my hand. I reached out and grabbed the hem of his jacket.
“I’m going to bake sweets now. Today is my birthday, but I don’t have any plans, so if you’d like, why don’t we eat the baked sweets together outside? I don’t need anything. If you’re going to give me something, then I want just a bit of time for us to celebrate my birthday together,” I told him.
“Thanks.” He was not unkind to my wheat flour-covered hand, grasping it while his face went bright red. “That’d be great,” he said three or so times. The phrase “I like sweet foods” was probably said five times.
I... I found it so funny that I laughed.
That day was a special one for me, but to the rest of the world, this was not the case. But I put in a little effort. I tried making it special on my own. From this point onward, I would definitely keep doing that. I would. I was all alone in this manor. But I was the most special girl in the world to a certain person. It was okay to indulge myself at least on my birthday. I thought this once again reading my mother’s letter later.
Ann, congratulations on your nineteenth birthday. I can’t imagine how you’re doing at nineteen years of age. I really wonder how you’re doing. Are you well? Aren’t you going hungry? I wonder if you became a wonderful lady. Aah, I want to see it. I truly wanted to see it. You have no idea how much I love you, do you? You see, Mom loves the nineteen-year-old you. I’ll love you even as you turn a hundred years old. I can’t tell you face-to-face, so I’m properly writing it here. I love you. No matter what anyone says, I love you. You have the right to be loved. My Ann, be free. My Ann, laugh with joy. My Ann, be happy. My Ann. Don’t be afraid of love.
—From Mom
   “There’s no such thing as a letter that needn’t be delivered, Milady.”
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katnissmellarkkk · 3 years
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Okayyyy chappy seven 🤩 Here we goooo 🥳
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Lord, Katniss always had nightmares 😭 even before the games, between her father’s death, her mother’s abandonment and the other traumatizing things she saw in her life, my girl never slept peacefully a day in her life 🥺.
She even indicates that she sometimes has nightmares about past hunger games 😭😭😭. Someone protect my smol child. Please. Someone.... Someone? Anyone? No? Okay 🥺
“I bolt up screaming for my father to run as the mine explodes into a million deadly bits of light.” This is such a powerful image and it really does show that Katniss has literally envisioned all the gory details of her father’s death for the last four years. This is so sad 😞
Also though. Katniss really doesn’t talk much about her father’s death after the first book and definitely doesn’t describe nightmares about it. So .... like basically, the games traumatized her so badly that, her father failing to escape the mines as the collapsed in on him, crushing him into the pits of despair, the possibility of rescuing his corpse deemed unimaginable, pales in comparison? Yes I just tried and failed to phrase that long run on sentence the way Katniss phrases her nightmares about her dad dying, yes that was over the top but you know what? So. Is. Katniss.
“Dawn is breaking through the windows” Twilight reference 😬😬😬. I couldn’t stop myself, y’all. Forgive for please.
“The Capitol has a misty, haunted air.” Katniss, you’re from the butthole of Kentucky, the air you’re used to is probably humid as all get out 😓😓💦😅😅
“I must have bitten into the side of my cheek in the night. My tongue probes the ragged flesh and I taste blood.” 😒😒😒😒 this feeling ..... is .... v v v .... distinct .... and .... familiar 😕🙁☹️
“I end up hopping from foot to foot as alternating jets of icy cold and steaming hot water assault me.” Why is this so funny omg 😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂😂😅😅😅😅😅 Katniss is just like pressing buttons like, “Ah! Too cold! 🥶 Ah! Too hot! 🥵 Ah!!!!!” All while jumping like a .... cat 🐱🥁
Lemon foam? 🍋 Whatever. I guess there’s weirder flavors of soap we have today but like where’s the Philosophy flavors that give recipes on the bottles??? Surely they’d survive an apocalypse??? Everyone uses those???
I’m so glad Katniss didn’t forget to moisturize, even as she prepares for a death match 😅😅😅😅 even if it’s just as simple as pressing a single button, why is she even taking the time to press it?
I know, I know. She just wants to make sure her skin is so smooth for the arena that the knives and arrows just slide right off 🤣🤣🤣🤣
“This is the first time since the morning of the reaping that I resemble myself.” Lolololol which means Mr. Romantic is gonna be even more turned on by the sight of ya, since he’s crushed on you looking like this for the last decade of his life 🥳😎🤗💁🏼‍♀️. Peeta ain’t even here yet and I’m already making the shipper comments Samantha calm down 🙄😶😑🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐🤐
Seriously there where is Peeta? Did he also have to figure out the temperature controls in the shower? Did he also moisturize? I miss him I wanna know about his morning too 😔. Katty, is it too much to ask for you to go take a lil ... sneak peek into his room for me? 😏😏😏
Twenty dishes seems like a lot for like four people eating? Eh, maybe six people, if we count the stylists who magically pick and choose when they’re coming to a meal... Hmm, I’ll calculate just so no one else has to. 🤓😬🤗 No one else cares, Samantha. 🤐🥱😴😶 Twenty dishes amounts out to about five plates without the stylists and three and a half-ish with so.... idk it’s not that much food I guess but it seems like a lot for one meal, esp if people in the Capitol intend to keep their trim figures. This is why that one prep team girl is chubby. 🤐🤐🤐
Awww Katniss copying Peeta’s weird lil eating quirks 🤗😎🥳. She’s already taking interest in him, she just don’t realize it yet 💁🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ shipper comment alert 🚨🚨
But also has anyone actually tried dipping bread on hot chocolate and was it good or does it taste as repulsive as it sounds to me? I hate it when my food even so much as dares to touch though 🤢😡😤😓
Oooo I always forget Prim has to be utilizing her goat, milking the thing every day until it’s dry I’m not a farmer idk how milking animals works ... so she contributes more than I give her credit I suppose.... I’m making an effort for you, Primmers. You seem useless and immature but I’m trying. 😪😶 Taylor Swift voice 🎶 *this is me trying* 🎶
Oh wow it was only two mornings ago? Man. The first book is slow moving. 😅😭 six chapters in and we’ve gotten through one point five days 🤣
“It makes me irritated that Peeta is wearing exactly the same outfit I am.” “Listen, Peeta, one of us has to change, this is getting embarrassing, you have to stop borrowing my clothes!”
“This twins act is going to blow up in out faces once the Games begin.” Ahhaahahahaha blow up 💥 💣 🔥. Get it, get it. 🥁 Because she represents fire. And she also blows things up in Every. Single. Book.
But seriously, did Cinna and Portia and Haymitch all plan on presenting Katniss and Peeta are like, tight friends or whatever, and then Peeta is like “oh b-tee-dubs, I have a massive crush on K-dog” and they just decided it perfectly fit into their plans?
I’m so jealous that their breakfast has bread baskets 😩😩😩 I know they’re headed to the slaughter but still. Bread.
if you like, I'll coach you separately. Decide now." "Why would you coach us separately?" In case one of you ... not naming names .... Peeta .... wants to reveal your lifelong crush on live television 😎😎😎
Also Haymitch is like “make an important decision but take zero time to consider it, I’m tired and hungover, kids, idc for your drama 😒”
Which as an auntie to a wonderful little two year old ... is v relatable 😅🥲🙃🤭
“And I already know what yours is, right? I mean, I've eaten enough of your squirrels." I wanna make a dirty joke here so badly but the lord himself is saying no.
“Town families usually eat expensive butcher meat. Beef and chicken and horse.” Ohhh this is interesting. Katniss believing Peeta and the other merchants live high on the hog while Peeta is later is like “I eat expired bread for every meal, Katniss” I mean, better than starving like her, but also not how she’s painting the picture in her mind. 😶😭
Also Katniss never mentions horses in Twelve, where’s the butcher getting horses from to slaughter and sell? That’s why Katniss never sees them, Samantha, duh 🙄
“I can't do anything. Unless you count baking bread.” "Sorry, I don't.” This was such a quick and matter of fact brush off, poor Peeta 😭😭😭 my baby I’m still rooting for you don’t worry you got this
Also. Lowkey, highkey, that tiny exchange triggered me. 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭. Those awkward moments where people brush me off or glance over me live in my head. Rent free. For life.
I wonder sometimes often times if Katniss’ father and Gale’s father knew each other? Both hunted and worked in the mines. Just a random sidebar 😅🤭🤐🙃
“She’s excellent” He’s so proud of his wife 🤧🤧🤧🤧🤧
So uh.... is it safe to say Mr. Mellark is an Everlark fan? If he likes and admires Katniss and Peeta and him apparently have some kind of close-ish bond (okay, maybe not but maybe) then perhaps he is carrying the shipper banner back in Twelve for them 🥳🥳😎😎
Katniss, you dingaling, of course he noticed you 🙄🙄🙄
Peeta compliments her and her instant reaction is “what are you doing, weirdo?” 😅😭
“Don’t underrate yourself” Peeta, love of my life, take your own advise. Stupid. 😪😪😪
“I've seen you in the market. You can lift hundred-pound bags of flour” Katniss in the market, staring across the way at Peeta, 👁👄👁, watching him lift flour over his shoulder.
“He came in second in our school competition last year, only after his brother." This is criminally undiscussed. Peeta being a wrestler alone is undiscussed but also.... did you go to his matches, Katniss? Miss Anti-Social, Hunting-First-Everything-Else-Later? 😏😏😏 If this ain’t proof of her lil crush idk what is
“All you need is to come up with a knife, and you'll at least stand a chance.” “You'll be living up in some tree eating raw squirrels and picking off people with arrows.” Does no one else realize that Katniss and Peeta literally took the other’s advise for the first part of the games? How did Peeta get in with the Careers? The way she just said. Where is Katniss when Peeta and the Careers discover her? High up in a tree. Okay, this maybe didn’t compute right but I had a thought here so I said it
Peeta’s mother is just a monster. Who says that crap? 😔😔😔 don’t worry, baby, I’m rooting for you
“She said, 'She's a survivor, that one.' She is” Yeah, she is, no thanks to you, Mrs. Mellark 😤. Stingy ho.
Peeta’s got pain in his eyes 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Awww, Katniss accrediting her survival to Peeta’s help 😭😭😭😭. This is so pure. Also kiss now, you little freaks.
“She has no idea. The effect she can have.” This is such an iconic line... but the can has always had me laughing. She can have an effect, if she really wants to. Or not, depending on the day.
Katniss is so stupid, how did she construe that as an insult??? 🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️🤦🏼‍♀️ y’all ever just wanna smack her into a wall?
“In public, I want you by each other's side every minute” If Peeta didn’t have a long life crush, what was the ultimate plan with all this friendship act they’re being forced into? 🤔🤔🤔
Even Peeta’s trying to object to it 😭😭😭😭
“You will be together, you will appear amiable to each other.” You will fall in love. 🤩🥳😎
“I bite my lip and stalk back to my room, making sure Peeta can hear the door slam.” Okay, now imagine how much she’s hurting his feelings right now 😖😣 what a little brat
“But that didn't mean I wanted to do everything with Peeta. Who, by the way, clearly doesn't want to be partnering up with me, either.” Lolololololololol this is so funny in hindsight 🤣🤣🤣. Also if you showed a little enthusiasm, Peeta would probably be happy to partner with you.
“But a tiny part of me wonders if this was a compliment. That he meant I was appealing in some way.” No, really, Katniss? A compliment? Who’d give you one of those? 🙄🙄🙄
“It's weird, how much he's noticed me. Like the attention he's paid to my hunting.” A normal person at this point would put together a crush 😅
“And apparently, I have not been as oblivious to him as I imagined, either. [...] I have kept track of the boy with the bread.” Anddd a normal person would figure out their own crush at this point 😅😅.
“I do a quick assessment. Peeta and I are the only two dressed alike.” We stan a matching couple in this house 😎😏
“Almost all of the boys and at least half of the girls are bigger than I am” That means 18 out of 24 tributes tower over my girl here. Smol Katniss. The movies did such erasure on this front I’m still bitter 🤐😒😤😩
“I may be smaller naturally, but overall my family's resourcefulness has given me an edge in that area.” Just a tiny muscular thing standing next to a bunch of tall, lanky kids. 🥰🥰🥰🥰
Awww “Each [Career tribute] must have fifty to a hundred pounds on me.” I mean ... let’s calculate. A muscular girl would probably weigh like 150 pounds... so basically Katniss is at most, 100 pounds. Tiny Katty.
“I'm thinking that it's lucky I'm a fast runner when Peeta nudges my arm and I jump.” This is a random, cute interaction 😍😍😍. Shipper blinders are on and tight.
“Suppose we tie some knots.” “Right you are.” I legitimately just scratched my face, who says right you are? An 87 year old man, that’s who 😅😅😅. Not turning your girl on very well, Peeta baby.
Although it does sound a bit like a backwoods southern thing soooo.... hillbilly Everlark nation rise. 🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️🙋🏼‍♀️
“We concentrate on this one skill for an hour until both of us have mastered it.” Awww, so Peeta knows how to tie a snare? He’s not as clueless as half the fandom acts.
How exactly is frosting cakes equating to amazing camouflager in a death match? Books crack me up with these connections. “I’m an amazing artist because I write birthday cards!”
Lolololol Prim admiring her future brother-in-law’s handiwork 🥰🥰🥰🥰 too bad she dies before they can get together for real for real.
“Somehow the whole thing - his skill, those inaccessible cakes, the praise of the camouflage expert - annoys me.” Dude, you get praised by everyone and their brother while Peeta gets overlooked, give him a moment to shine. 😑🙄 jealous wife much?
Also she’s already picking up on Peeta’s eye for beauty 😅😅😅
“It's lovely. If only you could frost someone to death.” "Don't be so superior. You can never tell what you'll find in the arena. Say it's actually a gigantic cake-“ "Say we move on.” She’s such a little snot. 😒😒😒
But also I love that already in this point of their relationship, Peeta is noticing when she’s being a brat 😭😂😅. “Don’t be so superior.”
“Despite Haymitch's order to appear mediocre, Peeta excels in hand-to-hand combat, and I sweep the edible plants test without blinking an eye.” Lolololol their mentor’s advise went into one ear and right out the other 😂😅🤣.
But also why did the movie make a point in adding an extra scene of Peeta looking weak and the Careers staring at him? That literally took up time and served no purpose at all. 😤😤😤 I’m coming for you, Gary Ross
Awww, everyone but the careers eat alone. But Katniss and Peeta eat together 🥺🥺🥺. It’s like a forced first date 🥳🥳🥳
I like how Katniss says they include bread from every district but she then proceeds to only mention the two districts that later have relevant tributes. 😅😅😅
Lolololol their fake friendship “laugh ... now! Okay, I’ll smile, try to say something interesting”
“Ever since I slammed my door, there's been a chill in the air between us.” Well yeah, you probably hurt his feelings 🥺🥺🥺
Umm, Katniss just casually drops that she was chased by a bear.... how did homegirl live? 😬😳
Peeta knowing Rue’s name and being the one to take notice of her first 🥺🥺🥺. If the games had come down to Katniss, Peeta and Rue, y’all know Everlark would have swallowed the berries and gotten Rue home. 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
“Don't. Don't let's pretend when there's no one around.” "All right, Katniss.” He made a single comment to you, ding dong. He didn’t ask for a goodnight kiss 🙄🙄🙄.
Also anyone ever think of how lonely Peeta’s life must be? He’s not close to his family that we can see, Delly’s his only real friend, after he wins he lives in that huge house all alone... I feel sad now. I did this to myself. 😬😭🥺
Katniss’ “Oh! The weapons!” When she sees the bows and arrows is so cute 🥰🥰🥰
Katniss has such a rage built up inside of her. Let it out, girlfriend
See, I’d have done this too but in my rage, I’d probably have shot a real person and not the pig ... goodbye, Plutarch 👋🏻
Andddd I think that’s all for this chapter! Sorry my comments weren’t as interesting as usual 😬.
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popatochisssp · 3 years
Note
I need memes for the new boys. Meme me, Poppy. Meme me.
As always, I am ashamed at how well-equipped I am to answer this question...
Meme Fluent: Ash (Undergloom Sans), Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus), Sunny (Gastertale Sans)
Can At Least Ask Where The Bathroom Is In Meme: Brick (Horrorfell Sans), Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus), Aster (Gastertale Papyrus)
Meme-blivious: Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus), King (Horrorfell Papyrus), Merc (Horrorswap Sans), Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans)
Ash (Undergloom Sans): Very savvy and up on all the most popular memes, scrolling through memes is an activity very low on the ‘activity’ part and great for when he’s feeling a little too tired to do anything else. He’s very into tiktoks, which help him keep up to date on the latest meme songs-- some of which he might try to learn to play on his own. In general, he’s also into memes with funny or weird-looking animals (frogs, possums, axolotls, etc), no specific kind of meme, the presence of a goofy-looking creature in it is usually good enough to get a smile or a chuckle out of him.
Yrus (Undergloom Papyrus): Not all that up to date on the meme scene, he’s usually busy with other things... but! He really loves relatable memes, especially ones about procrastination or not being able to focus on work or having to do chores, everyday mundane irritations that everybody can relate to! He also thinks reading comprehension errors are great harmless fun (i.e., “my bad i thought u said moths”), just silly misunderstandings that make for confusing interactions until someone realizes.
Brick (Horrorfell Sans): Doesn’t always remember every meme, but he gets the gist of most of them. His favorites are the MS Paint memes, usually the more poorly drawn, the better (but a fan of pretty much every catcrumb image he sees, those chaotic little cats are great). He can also be caught laughing himself to wheezing and banging on the table over completely bizarre and out of context interactions--for some reason, they just hit right on the funny bone and he has no defense against them. (The ‘Nyquil Detroit Become Liquid’ post nearly killed him, but he would’ve thanked it.)
King (Horrorfell Papyrus): Not too interested in memes. He’s peripherally aware of them but rarely knows the latest trends or cares to know them. He does have a slight fondness for evil memes--ones about being evil or having an evil lair or just have the word ‘evil’ as an adjective in front of something else seemingly incongruous--he finds them silly and they can usually win at least a smirk out of him when he happens to come across one. If you want a laugh, though, find him some of those screenshots of old newspapers from the 30s-50s, formally written humor that still holds up even now (like The Windsor Star, Ontario, November 1, 1958, The Cincinnati Enquirer, Ohio, February 21, 1947, or Barnard Bulletin, New York, December 20, 1935). Sensible chuckles abound from those!
Merc (Horrorswap Sans): Not too into memery, he’s definitely got a lot of other things going on and isn’t always online. Still, he is a fan of stuff like one-time-i-dreamt and other accounts of peoples’ dreams or thought processes. He thinks it’s interesting, the little peek into the wandering, strange, and sometimes funny subconscious, or how people think about love and tenderness and nostalgia and remind others to appreciate those things, too. It’s a very niche, wholesome sort of enjoyment for sure... but not to worry! If you’re looking for something more mainstream and ‘haha funny,’ he also got very into the whole ‘Surprise! It’s cake!’ meme trend that was going on for awhile and is still delighted to find a video where a realistic object is cut into and turns out to be cake. He’s definitely going to make one himself, maybe as a social media marketing thing for his home business...
Ell (Horrorswap Papyrus): Very meme savvy and tends toward some of the maybe darker types of humor--stress and anxiety memes, introvert memes, et cetera. Animated text is a big one he likes, with enough of a mix of pessimist and optimist memes that he doesn’t come away from checking it actually bummed out or feeling bad, a fine line to walk to be sure. He also likes coding and programming humor! He’s still kinda teaching himself, so he definitely doesn’t get them all, but it gives him a little sense of accomplishment and community when he does, which he really likes.
Pitch (Horrorswapfell Sans): Not interested in memes, and a lot of them are heavily based on visuals which, unfortunately, he’s going to miss the context. Still, he does get a hell of a kick out of brazen and blatant misinformation--the smooth sharks post, facts-i-just-made-up, and the like--and finds it hilarious when someone insists something that is obviously untrue, especially if a lot of people aren’t getting the joke and are trying fervently to convince them of their wrongness. He’s also a little bit evil, so whenever he learns a new piece of whatever slang is popular and in at the moment, he’s going to use it incorrectly, or use outdated slang to induce cringe in those around him. ‘Totes yeet yo’? Yes. ‘That is so pog, as the kids say’? Of course. ‘It’s lit, fam’? Definitely, who do you take him for? The cringier, the better, he revels in the discomfort of others when he throws one of those babies out.
Nemo (Horrorswapfell Papyrus): Definitely knows a little bit about memes, not always the latest trends but his base knowledge is pretty good, and of course has his favorites. He loves John Mulaney references and reaction images, they just Speak to him, y’know? Outside of that, he’s very fond of day-of-the-week memes, Tuesday Again?, Out of Touch Thursday, Fat Fuck Friday and so on. Aside from being a useful reminder of what the hell day of the week it is, he likes the consistency and recurrence of it, just a silly little moment to look forward to at some point like, “oh yeah, it’s el muchacho monday, nice!”
Sunny (Gastertale Sans): Pretty wise to the meme scene overall, loves the fun and creativity of it all. If you want him to absolutely lose his shit, though, show him a terrible picture of an animal--by which I mean, poorly photoshopped, blurred, in mid-panoramic, as long as the end result is an absurd or very screwed up image. Why are things like ‘buff half cat’ and ‘dog but very, very long’ his sense of humor? He has no idea, but the worse it looks, the harder he laughs. He has a bit of a fondness for ‘gotcha’s too, like a Rickroll but really anything where you go into it expecting one thing, and get trolled by receiving something else. (If Megalovania memes were a thing in his universe, he would be all over them, if that gives you an idea of the kind of gag he thinks is funny!)
Aster (Gastertale Papyrus): Aware of memes, but not all that invested in them. He likes corporate and office/business memes a lot-- the kind that roast bosses and unnecessary meetings, translate ‘polite’ corporate phrases, anything to do with emails--because they can be very relatable. He also likes seeing screencaps of people on Facebook or Twitter getting dragged for misinformation, or trying to act like a pompous jerk and getting shredded (for legitimate reasons of course, not just random unprovoked cyberbullying). He...may be involved in a bit of that sometimes himself: he may not be working in a scientific field, but he is half of a scientist, and just petty enough to spend a few hours of his free time looking up and reading through a few credible sources to cite in a strong and well-crafted rebuttal argument if someone is being especially, dangerously wrong about something. Not everyone has the time and resources to do it, so why shouldn’t he? 😇
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kam-tree · 4 years
Text
how BiNu confessed
Hello! I’m back~ It’s exam season but here I am. I hope you guys like it! Don’t be shy and request anything if you would like.
Theme: Fluff
Eunwoo
hey, I’m sorry I’m busy today! Just reminding you I love you
A smile painted your face as you sent a reply back to your boyfriend, Eunwoo. You were a little sad that Eunwoo had a schedule today but it is what it is right? It’s his job after all. Although you missed seeing him, he always made an effort to video call every night and occasionally would drop by your apartment at night before heading back to the dorms. He always tried his best and for that you loved him dearly.
That’s alright! I’ll enjoy this nice day for the both of us~ Keep working hard! I love you
After sending your message, you were immediately met with a cute emoticon. Giggling like a 5 year old, you sent one back. Truthfully everyday seemed like a dream. It was such a blessing you met Eunwoo and the fact you were in a relationship with him still felt surreal. He was such a caring and selfless man, always considerate and hard working. When you first met him, it was a little hard to believe how polite and caring of a human being he was. You didn’t know if he acted this way because he had an image to up hold or not. But your doubt was eventually proven wrong after some drinks and a very real and raw conversation.
You still remember the smell and sounds of the tent bar. The loud business men coming to drink after a long day of work, the group college students ignoring their final assignments and the smell of soju. Eunwoo and you weren’t very close friends back then and it was certainly awkward when your mutual friend didn’t show up. However 3 bottles of soju seemed to do the trick and helped you both let loose and start talking about your dreams and insecurities. It was refreshing getting to know Eunwoo and his mind. At the moment you really admired him as a person, how hard working he was and how considerate he was. You felt horrible for misjudging him and doubting him. It was probably then when your feelings for him started.
It took eight more months for anything to actually start. You tried your hardest to stop your feelings for him as you didn’t want them ruining your friendship. Anyway, how could he feel the same way about you anyway? That’s why you were taken aback when you were both resting on the couch on your apartment and he suddenly became agitated. You had invited some friends over just to have a little breather and you were all playing charades. 
At first you thought he was just frustrated because his team couldn’t play for shit and yours won as the game ended with 9-5. Rocky had you on his back as you both celebrated your win with your two other teammates. You were laughing while holding Rocky tightly so you wouldn’t fall as he began dancing when you felt an icy stare coming from somewhere. Your eyes met Eunwoo’s and you were slightly taken aback by the glare he held on his face. Confused, you watch him flee to the kitchen. You got off Rocky as gave another ‘whoop’ before making a beeline to the kitchen.
“Look, if I’ve done anything wrong, let me know. I can’t read your mind and glaring won’t help either ok?” You spoke bluntly as you found it rare that he would be this childish.
“I just- I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to glare.” He said as he brushed his hair back and swallowing a lump in his throat.
“Well I can still see your not in a very good mood. Do you want to step out and talk about it?” You offered with a smile while taking his hand and staring into his eyes. You swear you melted right then and there. He seemed to think about it before nodding and letting you lead the way to the door. 
“Damn it, it’s cold” you muttered to yourself as you left the warmth of your apartment. You felt a pair of arms wrap around you and suddenly it felt like you were in a sauna. Trying to get rid of the blush on your cheeks, you wriggle out of his embrace. 
“Don’t worry, I’ll survive. Now tell me what’s been plaguing your mind.”  You said turning around, trying to not be flustered. Although you felt safe in his arms; as if you belonged, you didn’t want to give yourself false hope. To him it might just be an innocent hug but it sent butterflies to your stomach. 
“I have feelings for someone and I don’t think they’ll return them.” He said as he stepped back and met your eyes. You felt your stomach drop. Ignoring the slight pain in your chest, you turn to look at him as he stares back at you. 
“Ahh, I see. How would you know if you haven’t heard that person’s answer? There’s a 50% chance they’ll return them or not. But seeing as to how you act like the perfect gentleman, the chances are probably higher.” You smiled before looking away, trying to not let him see the slight pain in your face.
“Is that so?” He said as he moved to were your eyes were looking off to and waited until your eyes met his. “What are the chances of you returning my feelings?”
“What?” Honestly, you were so confused. What was happening? Is what you were thinking happening? He smiled before holding your hand in his.
“I like you Y/N” A blush seem to creep on both of your faces. Unable to meet his gaze, you nod.
“Me too” You felt time stop as he smiled at you and pulled you into a tight embrace against his chest.
“Thank god.” He sighed in relief before planting a light peck on your lips.
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Moonbin
“You made all this?” Moonbin said with excitement and disbelief as he stared at the six lunch boxes in front of him; one for each member of Astro. “Thank you so much!” And with that, you were engulfed into a big bear hug. 
You dramatically gasp for breath before he pulls away and places a kiss on your forehead. Smiling up at the man, you realise how awfully tired he looked. A pout soon graced your face, Moonbin noticing immediately. He stroked you hair and put his chin on your head, pulling you into a gentle and warm hug.
“I’m alright. I have your food to energise me through the day! Don’t worry about me.” He said gently.
“I know I shouldn’t worry, I just wish you could have a day off and sleep like sleeping beauty. To rest properly.” You mumbled into his shirt. You feel him kiss you head before pulling away and looking into your eyes.
“My day off’s on Sunday, I’ll make sure to sleep like the dead.” He laughed before turning to the door “I’m super late! I’ll text you when I get there and when I should be home. I love you~” And with a kiss goodbye, he was out the door. 
Watching him leave in a rush always made you laugh, his poor time management was always the product of him sleeping in. It always worried you how he’d come home late and leave early for his schedules. He practiced like crazy as well. It also reminded you of when you first met.
Your friend wanted to introduce you to a dancer as you expressed an interest in it. You were hesitant, as your interest was only a passing comment and not meant to be taken seriously, however you also suspected this was your friend’s way of setting you up with someone. They had been constantly asking you if you were seeing anyone for the past year. You were too busy with your part time job and being a full time student in culinary school. With some persuasion, you finally went with your friend to meet this man. Honestly you kind of judged Moonbin when he was 20 minutes late. You were thinking about how you could have been studying for an upcoming exam and here you were, waiting for some dude. However after talking to man, you seemed to become smitten with him. He was funny and gentle but was also ready to fight with anyone who thought cats were annoying. 
As cheesy as it is to say, time seemed to stop. You didn’t really pay mind to your friend leaving you two alone and you also didn’t realise the sun was already beginning to set. You realised that this man was a breath of fresh air to you so when he asked for you number as you were both about to part ways, you absolutely did not hesitate.
Your relationship was little complicated for the next 4 months. It was like you were a couple but at the same time you weren’t official. Both of you would go on dates, talk late at night and would have movie nights in your apartment. You both knew that each other was interested but neither had actually spoken about it. It was a strange and weird situation to be in.  
At first it made you heart flutter every time your hands would brush past each others or when your faces would be so close to a kiss. But soon you grew a little tired of it. Moonbin seemed to be the person you could count on whenever you wanted to rant about school or your co workers and would always taste you dishes with very honest feedback, however you were tired of this wishy washy relationship you both had. As much as you knew that Moonbin was a kind and caring man, you insecurities started to overtake your mind. You often wondered if he was like this another girl, he was an awfully handsome and talented man so who wouldn’t want to have him?
You began to think he only saw you as some fun on the side. 
Your chain of thought was disrupted when you heard a knock at your door. Ah, that’s right, Moonbin said he was coming over after recording. Opening the door, you were greeted with a smile that could easily turn you into a puddle. He had said he couldn’t stay long as he needed to back at the dorms before 10pm. A little confused as to why he would bother coming over if he needed to leave in 45 minutes, you followed him into the apartment.
“Then why are you coming to visit then silly?” You said in a playful tone as you offered him some gimbap you made. You were shocked when he rejected them. What as going on? Moonbin rejecting food? And then it dawned on you. He was probably gonna tell you that he wasn’t interested and only saw you as friend.
“I’m sorry I should have done this earlier” You braced yourself for the rejection as your hands found the hem of you shirt and played around with it. He looked into you eyes with an intensity you had never seen before and it made you nervous. As you felt some tear beginning to form, you look away from his gaze.
“I like you. Like a lot. I’m sorry for not telling you early enough. I was just shy and didn’t know if you would like me back.” what? You looked back at him in confusion. Your mind went blank and you were left to just stare, no words seeming to form. 
When you didn’t reply back, his head hung down for little bit before he looked back up at you with a bittersweet smile. “It’s ok, you don’t have to say anything. I just wanted to confess my feelings.” As he was about to reach for the door handle, you snapped out of your trance and rushed to stop him.
He was caught by surprise when he left your arms embrace him from the back. You didn’t trust yourself to talk to him with his eyes on you so you mumbled it into his back. “I like you too. I like so much. I didn’t know if you actually liked me or if you were just having some fun” He quickly turned around to your words and cupped your face.
“Of course I like you. How could I not?” Moonbin smiled as he kissed your forehead and then your lips.
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