#kidding kidding kidding. obviously

[good-to-drive]

It's kinda funny when you get a bunch of likes but no reblogs like I enjoyed your post but I'd prefer if no one else saw it

#kidding obviously #likes are also really nice and fun #shitpost #it's just funny lol

[inkskinned]

probably time for this story i guess but when i was a kid there was a summer that my brother was really into making smoothies and milkshakes. part of this was that we didn't have AC and couldn't afford to run fans all day so it was kind of important to get good at making Cool Down Concoctions.

we also had a patch of mint, and he had two impressionable little sisters who had the attitude of "fuck it, might as well."

at one point, for fun, this 16 year old boy with a dream in his eye and scientific fervor in heart just wanted to see how far one could push the idea of "vanilla mint smoothie". how much vanilla extract and how much mint can go into a blender before it truly is inedible.

the answer is 3 cups of vanilla extract, 1/2 cup milk alternative, and about 50 sprigs (not leaves, whole spring) of mint. add ice and the courage of a child. idk, it was summer and we were bored.

the word i would use to describe the feeling of drinking it would maybe be "violent" or perhaps, like. "triangular." my nose felt pristine. inhaling following the first sip was like trying to sculpt a new face. i was ensconced in a mesh of horror. it was something beyond taste. for years after, i assumed those commercials that said "this is how it feels to chew five gum" were referencing the exact experience of this singular viscous smoothie.

what's worse is that we knew our mother would hate that we wasted so much vanilla extract. so we had to make it worth it. we had to actually finish the drink. it wasn't "wasting" it if we actually drank it, right? we huddled around outside in the blistering sun, gagging and passing around a single green potion, shivering with disgust. each sip was transcendent, but in a sort of non-euclidean way. i think this is where i lost my binary gender. it eroded certain parts of me in an acidic gut ecology collapse.

here's the thing about love and trust: the next day my brother made a different shake, and i drank it without complaint. it's been like 15 years. he's now a genuinely skilled cook. sometimes one of the three of us will fuck up in the kitchen or find something horrible or make a terrible smoothie mistake and then we pass it to each other, single potion bottle, and we say try it it's delicious. it always smells disgusting. and then, cerimonious, we drink it together. because that's what family does.

#this is true #writeblr #warm up #relatedly for some reason one of our Favorite Jokes #amongst the Siblings #is like - ''this is so good u will love it'' #while we are reacting to something we OBVIOUSLY find viscerally disgusting #like we will be actively retching and be like ''nooooo it's so good'' #to the point that i sometimes get nervous if someone outside my family is like oh u should try it its good #(obvi we never force each other to eat anything. we are all just curious birds and #like. we're GONNA try the new thing.) #edit to answer why we had so much vanilla: #my mom is a very good cook and we LOVE to bake. so she just had a lot of staples in the house. #it's one of those things that's like. have u ever continuously thought ''ah i should get butter im probably out'' #even tho u are not out of butter. so u end up with like 5 years of butter. #my mom would do that in a costco but like with vanilla extract #to be fair we WERE always using WAY TOO MUCH bc we were kids #so like she was right to stock up #ps. yes we were VERY sick after this lol i just didn't want to include it in the post in case ppl had an ick about that #u can tell it's real bc we knew "oh no we fucked up that's too much vanilla to waste'' but our reaction was to just. keep drinking it #> sibling understanding that vanilla extract isn't free > knowledge mother doesnt mind if we use it for milkshakes #> sibling choice to maybe get in a loophole of ''not wasting it'' if we drink it bc that's the same as using it (not throwing it out) #listen bud i was like 13 and my sister was like 9 #when my mom discovered this we. got in. A LOT. of trouble. a lot of it. a LOT of it. #3rd edit bc i guess it isn't clear - i am 1 of my brother's 2 little sisters #i am the middle child #out of all the ways i have had to explain a post before being like ''did u forget a middle child can happen'' is my favorite

[vraska-theunseen]

yeah i have good coping mechanisms. whenever i'm overstimulated or feel like i'm about to have a meltdown or am in the middle of doing something i don't want to do i just think about how if i want to i can kill myself later. and then i get out of the environment or stop doing the thing and im normal again and have no need to kill myself so it works perfectly

#kidding kidding kidding. obviously #well actually something pretty similar i did every day in high school but not recently was every time i was like walking #and my legs hurt a lot or if i was in the middle of like whatever something i didn't want to do i'd always repeat in my head it's okay #im going to kill myself i'm going to kill myself i'm going to kill myself im going to kill myself. because i guess i always thought if i did #it i'd do it before graduation. and then maybe the reason i haven't thought it in months is because well i graduated and maybe at some point #i realized oh i crossed that finish line i can't say that anymore i have real things ahead. well i could still say it but it wouldn't be #reassuring anymore. anyway guys i would never kill myself this is all hypothetical just something to get me through the day u know how it is #alex talks

[anjanahalo]

Potential DPxDC Prompt

Danny survived high school with his identity intact. It wasn't easy, and it involved "Phantom" making a deal with his parents to help fight the ghosts in return for their amnesty if permanent banishment back to the ghost zone, but no one was getting zapped or gooped or vivisected, so it's all great! Meanwhile Danny Fenton, though his life, has perfected a near universal stain remover that's not just effective even post-washing, but is also environmentally friendly (thanks ghost zone chemists for working even after death on your craft). He decides to submit it to the Wayne Foundation's Innovations of the Future contest for a potential scholarship (Jazz was already teleprompting him from her college in sending out at least ten essays a week for scholarships from other sources). He gets a full ride to the University of Gotham, along with a hefty contract for exclusive rights to his stain remover formula. The issue? Danny knows the product includes a short-lived form of ectoplasm to work, and he is very, very hesitant to allow something as big as Wayne Corp to learn about that. His parents and their zeal caused so much harm just wanting to learn about the Ghost Zone. How dangerous would it be for an Entire Corporation, whose business is to exploit for gain, to learn about it? He didn't think this scholarship application through, did he? Meanwhile Batco is horrified and aghast that a civilian not only sent in something with Lazarus water in it for a fuckin' scholarship, it is actually useful for something besides raising the dead!

#dp x dc #dpxdc #Danny just wonders how he can get that full ride without disclosing more info #The Bats wondered how some Kid in the midwest got his hands on enough lazarus water to work out this formula #and survived both the waters AND the assassins that'd obviously be sent against him if the LoA knew #here i go writing again

[chamerionwrites]

Possibly The most surprising thing I have discovered on the internet is the number of people who will unironically refer to others as "degenerates" without expecting anyone reading this to immediately assume that they are a straight-up fascist

#i don't mean the actual nazis though alas there are an eye-opening number of those on the internet too #i mean the 19yo purity wankers who will vaguely gesture at lefty talking points while freely tossing around 'degenerate' as an insult #apparently without recognizing that this sets off like 1000 warning sirens for anyone w the slightest familiarity w fascist rhetoric #bonus points if they actually use the phrase ''degenerate art'' #genuinely i have spent my entire internet life immediately blocking anyone who does this on the assumption they are an Actual Nazi #only to discover an alarming number of Kids These Days doing it????? to a point i don't think it can just be undercover fash????? #obviously the purity wank is itself concerning regardless of what political talking points they have learned to parrot but i just. #the multiple overlapping layers of accidentally-right-wing lack of self awareness are. TRULY incredible to witness. #my posts

[nerdpoe]

Danny's really, really good at making peanut butter fudge.

Not even Jack can make it better than him.

So when Kord Industries very own Ted Kord himself comes by to look over the weird stuff the Fenton's make, his parents go just shy of begging him to make that fudge.

Mr. Kord very enthusiastically chows away at it, and while Jack and Maddie go downstairs to get more inventions, asks Danny how he perfected the recipe.

Danny answers honestly.

"Well, the only edible things in the house for a lot of the time are peanut butter and maple syrup. I learned to work with what I had."

He's pretty proud of it, but doesn't really get why Jazz turned red or why Mr. Kord got pale.

for those who do not know, Ted Kord is Blue Beetle before Jaime.

#dpxdc #dcxdp #phanfic #dp x dc #story prompt #dc x dp #neglect mention #neglect mention by a child of neglect who had no idea it was neglect #well meanings but neglectful fenton parents #the kind of parents that think because they got food then obviously there's stuff for the kids #but forgot to order for the kids #and the kids are so used to it that they don't bring it up #ted is internally freaking out rn ngl #kid just admitted to abuse

[praudzivi]

I went a little overboard

тгк:praudzivi

#tf2 #team fortress 2 #tf2 sniper #tf2 scout #tf2 spy #im just kidding guys #obviously #im sorry #i was just testing some brush on 90's yaoi manga #😭😭😭 #sniperspy

[angstydiaz]

sorry to ppl who are normal about their ships but if I'm not tearing my skin off, literally about to bounce off my walls, eating something inedible and getting close to having an aneurysm cause of them i do not care that much. i need dialogue that sends me into oblivion just seeing it typed out lmao. i need to be insane about them sorry

#tag whatever imma do me n my mutuals ones THIS IS A JOKE OBVIOUSLY DO NOT START #buddie #richonne #avatrice #taivan #lottienat #jackieshauna #chenford #raysand #rina #what ships do these kids(mutuals like ummm) #merthur #six of crows #firstprince #heartstopper #bottoms 2023 #limoreau

[grandwretch]

i so badly want one of those fic examinations of steve's relationship with joyce and hopper but solely through eddie's pov like hear me out

steve and eddie chat a lot in the upside down (and later in the hospital, when they learn hop is alive). steve has taken charge of filling eddie in on the rest of their of-age crew without the kids butting in. he never mentions his own parents, but he talks about the rest of the party's a lot, especially joyce and hopper. eddie knows what it's like to desperately want someone to be your parent and trying to hide it from his own childhood, when he would try to be cool about wayne dropping him off at his dad's house. steve obviously adores joyce and hopper, thinks the world of them and legitimately looks up to them.

eddie isn't sure what he expects from a cop who came back to life and the world's most determined housewife, but he's excited to meet them as someone steve loves.

cue eddie's horror when he realizes that neither of them really feel much for steve rather than annoyance and vague distrust. that joyce trusts will with eddie, an accused murderer, in a heartbeat and still hesitates to leave him with steve. that hopper brushes off every ounce of steve's hero worship and joy.

he tries to broach the topic with steve, gently, and is heartbroken when steve genuinely has no idea what he's talking about. and not because he's oblivious, but because steve thinks that's what he deserves. he thinks that's the parental love that someone who was an asshole in high school needs, because that's what would make him a good person. he needs people to call him out constantly, obviously, because why else would they keep doing it? why would nancy? at least they're here. at least they're not ignoring him. at least they're not forcing him into a box. they just want him to be better.

like, this is the man who thanked a girl for calling him bullshit and telling him she never loved him. he doesn't Know that's not how you're supposed to handle things. no one ever taught him that.

and now eddie's gotta figure out how he can teach steve how to be loved the right way without outing himself and his huge crush on his love-starved dork of a friend.

#shut up az #steddie #i just had the flash of eddie in a hospital bed staring up at hopper and the way he talks to steve in horror #like hopper saying something off the cuff about how he's not surprised there was so much collateral with steve in charge #and eddie thinking about steve always putting himself in harm's way #and the way steve got mauled by bats way before eddie did and then KEPT. GOING. but no one is mentioning that #no one is mentioning that steve was the first one of their group physically hurt by this. #and steve is just nodding like he agrees and eddie doesn't want to be rude bc these ppl are obviously Important to his friends #and then Mike comes in later and says something Mike-y and Eddie snaps at him #then he has to apologize because Mike is a stupid kid who loves Steve in his own way #and Eddie shouldn't blame him for the behavior of adults who should no better just because Mike is an easier target #anyway Eddie doesn't know how to have parents right either so he ropes Jeff and Lucas and Gareth and Robin into OP: Teach Steve Self-Worth

[bet-on-me-13]

Ellie isn't allowed to travel alone Anymore

So! Ellie was raised in a Lab by a Genuine Bonefied Supervillain. She was raised to be a Villain as well, so her Moral Conpass is a little skewed.

Sure she *mostly* knows what is right and wrong from Danny's quick lesson before her Adventure around the Country, but she still has trouble separating what is moral and what is not from time to time.

So it's really no surprise that the moment she left Amity Park she somehow ended up being branded a Villain.

Look, it's not her fault she didn't know not to attack the flying guy in Blue Spandex when he approached her! One of Danny's biggest warnings shen she left had been Stranger Danger! She did what any 12 year old girl would have done when approached by a strange Older Man!

Its also not her fault that her powers (being Magic based), managed to affect him! She didn't even use her full power! (She maybe should have kicked him in a different place tho...she hopes he wasn't planning on having kids...)

So she did what her instincts told her to do. She took any money he had on him and ran the hell away!

It wasn't until she was 2 cities over when she saw a newspaper titled, "Little Villain Girl Mugs Superman in Broad Daylight!", that she realized she may have screwed up...

After that, she really had no excuse.

She knew that she probably shouldn't have kept Mugging the Heroes who approached her, but she wasn't a Fenton for nothing! Her Family Motto had always been "Commit to the Bit", and she was gonna stick to it!

So when the Fast Red Guy tried to tie her up, she phased off all his clothes and took off with his money (not the mask, she knew enough not to take that off)

And when the Grumpy Bat Guy tried to corner her with some weird papers he pulled out of his Belt, she just distracted him while her clone picked his pockets and made off with the wheels of his Car. That one made her a pretty penny!

The flying Green Guy was fun, his attacks were just throwing Ghost Candy (pure willpower) at her. He did stop doing do after she nicked his fancy talking Ring however, but it was fun while it lasted

Then she came across a Orange Fish Guy, and he actually seemed nice enough. But she was committing to the Bit, so she took the fancy Trident he had and sold it at a nearby Pawn Shop for some extra cash. He would probably be able to find it, that's why she chose a nearby location.

All in All, her Adventure had been really fun! So she decided to visit Amity Park again to tell Danny all about it!

...

Aquaman walked into the meeting room of the Watchtower, a very frustrated look in his eye.

Barry spoke up first, "Oh! I know that look in your eye! She got to you too didn't she!"

Arthur just glared at Barry for a second before walking over to his Chair, sitting down with a thump. "She is certainly a tricky child."

"What did she take this time?" Clark asked.

"..mttrident..." Arthur grumbled out quickly.

"What was that?" Asked Barry with a twinkle in his eye. He heard it, but he wanted everybody else to know.

"She took my trident, Okay!" Arthur shouted out.

"I feel ya man." Responded Hal, "At least with me she threw it back at me when she realized it wasn't making 'candy' anymore. What did she do with yours?"

"She sold it at a Pawn Shop!" Arthus yelled in frustration, "She managed to steal one of the most Powerful Magical Weapons in the world, the Symbol of the entire Atalantean Royal Bloodline, and she sold it and a Pawn Shop!"

"...how much did she get for it?" Asked Hal.

At this, Aquaman just collapsed to the table and groaned.

...

Alternatively she could have just kept all those things, and gradually built up a collection of all the JLA's most treasured possessions.

She has Supermans Wallet, not very important to him but it was her first mugging

She has Batmans Utility Belt (trackers removed) along with his Tires

She took Flashes Costume Ring (his civilian clothes still stuck inside)

She took Green Lanterns ring as well, but unfortunately it managed to escape after a few days. It was feisty.

And her crowning Jewel is the Trident she took from Aquaman.

(She avoided WW, cause she likes her too much to steal anything from her)

#Dpxdc #Dp x dc #Dc x dp #Dcxdp #Danny Phantom #Dc #Scum #Ellie is a little shit #Ellie is a Supervillain #Technically #She kicked Superman in the Balls and took all his money #And then did the same for basically every other Hero she met #The Public knowd her as a Villain on a power trip who wants to humiliate all the Heroes she can come across #The JLA knows she is just a Kid but still don't know if she is being malicious or not #Arthur knows that the next time he sees that kid it's on sight #Danny is obviously unaware of Ellie's antics #He gets a surprise when Aquaman shows up at his Door asking to square up with his little sister #Danny thinks she just made a new friend #Ghosts bond by fighting trope #Danny walks into the shed late one night to find a pile of Stolen Hero Property

[aalghul]

I think it’s really funny how Tim had at least one parent besides Bruce (who was not explicitly his parent for the longest time) for most of his time as Robin and yet nobody contests that he has been Bruce’s son, Dick’s brother, etc. since far before his actual adoption. But with Duke it’s a whole debate every time.

“Duke’s parents are still alive so it’s disrespectful” Tim’s stepmom was alive but unable to take care of Tim, when he was adopted by Bruce. Is it disrespectful to her to say Tim is Bruce’s son? Or does this argument only apply to Duke?

“Bruce didn’t adopt Duke, he was just his guardian” Do you know who else Bruce also didn’t adopt for his entire childhood? Or is Dick no longer Bruce’s son in any way whatsoever?

“Dick actually called Tim his brother” Jason’s included Duke as one of his brothers.

“Some people don’t like anything post-flashpoint” Those same people usually include Kate Kane.

#i do not think it is funny #of course duke’s going to continue getting pushed out when fans refuse to show interest in him despite everything being handed to us #if fans are going to drool over the newest white character that dc gave less than half the attention they gave Duke at first then obviously #they’ll invest in those characters instead. they care about money and bat fans care about white ppl so it works out #and tim’s parents were alive in n52 but ppl still didn’t gaf. ‘every kid Batman spends 10 mins with is his kid EXCEPT the black boy he #took in and mentored and made his partner the same way as robin (4/5 of whom are explicitly called his children) #and who is called a brother by one of his sons and is included in a different son’s picture of bruce’s sons’ #duke thomas

[piosplayhouse]

"Oh dear," the unicorn thought. "I must've really mucked up the story beyond compare! The Red Bull Luo Binghe is protecting the last unicorn scum?! Unconscionable! He should have driven me off the cliff by now!!"

#dont ask why binghe gets to be a human but sqq has to be a unicorn #maybe hes prince lir in this au actually wait omg that would be good #half human half red bull sxy was freakay #the unicorn turning human to disguise herself is obviously sqqs plant body allegory #binghe sniffing around the castle: where is shizun i can still smell him? suspiciously sqq shaped human: gulp #binghe's tragic backstory in this au i guess is that he meets shen qingqiunicorn as a kid and sqq can sense that hes half fae and so #takes him semi under his wing but is like a prick about it until binghes seal breaks and they find out that hes a red bull fae #and shen jiu stabs him into the ocean something something abyss he comes back gets adopted by haggard kills every unicorn by throwing them #into the ocean as well before picking off shen jiunicorn last. and then sy fucks it all up #it's been like a decade since i read the book sorry #svsss #scumbag self saving system #scum villain's self saving system #bingqiu #shen qingqiu #sqq #lbh #luo binghe #my art #svsss last unicorn au

[justaz]

king merlin after meeting lady guinevere and sir lancelot’s baby and falling in love: arthur. i want a baby.

king arthur, not looking up from his paperwork: …what?

merlin: give me a baby.

arthur, sighing: merlin, you studied to be a physician. i don’t think i have to be the one to tell you how impractical that is.

merlin, rolling his eyes: this is why i’m the brighter side of the coin

arthur, finally looking up: wha-

queen merlin using magic to transform her body: i. want. a. baby.

arthur:

arthur:

arthur: *stands up from his desk so fast his chair topples over, multiple parchments flutter to the ground, his tunic is already off*

#genderfluid merlin #the real genderfluid experience is answering ‘shapeshifting’ to that ‘which power would you pick’ question #every. time. #merlin is lucky enough to have magic to accomplish this #i am Envious #merthur #i am a firm believer in top!merlin #but i am also a believer in emrys being the incarnate of nature and longing to make life #all the people hes killed #all the death hes caused #he wants to balance it out with children #obviously thats not the only reason but yk #all of their kids have birthdays in the winter bc merlin really really REALLY wants a baby in spring #for SOME reason 👀 #(psst its bc hes connected to nature and has a (i dont want to say heat but) heat) #(and bc dragonlords are like part dragon so that animalistic quality to him absolutely does not help with the heat allegations) #queen merlin #king merlin #merlin emrys #king arthur #arthur pendragon #incorrect quotes #bbc merlin #incorrect merlin quotes #headcanon #head canon #hc #fic #fanfic #fanfiction

[cheese-rat29]

this poor kid. your dad dies, and your mom remarries. your step-dad is cool! he teaches you how to fish and he brings home a bunch of dogs! fast forward a little bit and it turns out your cool step-dad is locked in a psychosexual viscera-filled chess game with a bisexual cannibal. like what do you even do about that.

#text #text post #nbc hannibal #hannibal lecter #will graham #hannigram #molly graham #hannibal rewatch #hannibal season 3 #obviously the kid is either gonna go into comedy or a psych ward

[ewwww-what]

You guys don’t get it, they used to be the high 5 heroes. They used to be the high 5 heroes guys. They used to. They used to be starry eyed freshmen. They had to choose each other. They had to have awkward introductions. They had to pick that name together. I’m never okay ever.

#I’m a firm believer in the idea that the rat grinders care about each other as people #not bad kids level obviously. they haven’t had the same experiences that led the bad kids to be so close to one another. #but man. three hours a day in those woods? they’re teenagers. I promise they aren’t all business out there. #like maybe they arent soulmates but they have to be friends to some extent #(I have latched onto the scene of Ivy and Oisin playing beer pong like my life depends on it) #(please it makes me so sad to think about them) #oisin hakinvar #ivy embra #kipperlilly copperkettle #mary ann skuttle #ruben hopclap #lucy frostblade #buddy dawn #fantasy high #d20 #d20 fantasy high #dimension 20 #the high 5 heroes #the rat grinders #txt post

[o-vera-nalyzing]

junior year is my favorite season of fantasy high yet cause it really showcases the fact that the bad kids act exactly how a group of six comedians would act if they somehow got really popular in high school

#which like. obviously #but idk i just think it’s funny cause it’s like lemonade mouth #like the nerds and theater kids and other people who would never be really popular normally just get really fucking popular for no reason #and it’s a shitshow but somehow they make it work #d20 fhjy #fhjy #dimension 20 #fantasy high #lemonade mouth #adaine abernant #fabian aramais seacaster #gorgug thistlespring #riz gukgak #kristen applebees #fig faeth #original overanalyzing