Cobra Kai universe tumblr dash simulator
🙍🏼 abolishdads
important context: my dad sucks
3,452 notes
🪲 notbluebeetle
guys if this post gets 300 notes i'll make sure to thank Bofa in my sekai tai winners speech
🥋 myfathersdaughter
who????
🪲 notbluebeetle
Bofa DEEZ NUTS hahahahaha GOTCHA
🥋 myfathersdaughter
I'm breaking up with you.
598 notes
❤️🔥 johnny16289293018276377282
i loav compuperrrrrrrshhns snajajakjs d snaa z
237,152 notes
⭐️sponsored post
🌳 larusso-auto-official ✔️✔️✔️ Follow
Bonsai! Find your inner peace through our quarter yearly sale and get 5% off premium automotive vehicles!
* exclusions and restrictions apply
#sale #cars #karate #bonsais #great deals #johnny lawrence sucks #fuck johnny lawrence #no not that way #larusso autos
👾 videogames4life Follow
trapped in the torture chamber again (forced to do karate with my dad)
#if he tries to get me to wax one more of his stupid cars im calling cps #personal
43 notes
🔁 nicklesanddimes
🦅 hawkman Follow
not evil anymore i want to be loved now
10 notes
🔪 nicklesanddimes
“Maiming and killing is bad its against the law” God forbid women do anything anymore
🥋 myfathersdaughter
my sister in christ you literally stabbed me
🔪 nicklesanddimes
and i'll do it again anytime you want princess 😘
2,305 notes
🙍🏼 abolishdads
#emo #sadboy #my dad sucks #i hate my dad #daddy issues #mommy issues #sadblr
0 notes
🐍 neverdies Follow
The karate mob has arrested me for feminism crimes and at dawn I will be canceled without trial. They gave me a computer with one post in the chamber and said to do the honorable thing. I do not recognize my own country
8,745 notes
❤️🔥 johnny16289293018276377282
🥋 myfathersdaughter
HELLO????
🙍🏼 abolishdads
oh so you've got time to learn how to meme but not to call me back?
🧑🏻🔬 onehalfofbinarybros Follow
it feels like only a week ago I had to explain uber to you...they grow up so fast
🦅 hawkman Follow
guys relax @notbluebeetle made it for him
🪲 notbluebeetle
way to kill the joke dude
4,237,152 notes
🔁 larusso-auto-official ✔️✔️✔️ Follow
☘️ justanothervalleygirl Follow
‼️‼️‼️ ATTENTION TUMBLR USERS ‼️‼️‼️
Alright listen up girls, gals, and nonbinary pals. You probably know a user going by the username @tortureiscool and might have even interacted with them personally. In real life their name is Terry Silver, and despite what some recent publicity stunts will try to convince you, they are deeply problematic. Recently I've seen a lot of thirst posts hailing him as a 'zaddy' and calling him the 'only ethical billionaire' (😒😒😒) so I needed to come on here set the record straight. In this post I'll be going in depth on some of the more fucked up things he's done over the years, so a big content warning for: abuse, grooming, gaslighting, psychosexual torture, unhealthy bdsm practices, drug abuse, the vietnam war, environmental pollution, and most importantly billionaire shenanigans.
Also a BIG thank you to @larusso-auto-offical for helping compile this post.
Read more
Based on your likes!
31,924 notes
🪲 notbluebeetle
reblog if you agree @tortureiscool @larusso-auto-official @neverdies @johnny16289293018276377282
🦅 hawkman Follow
holy shit
4,563,231, notes
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Mafia blacks incorrect quotes pt 2:
Other mafia incorrect quotes
Characters:
M!Jeffery
M!Rabid @mafia-rabid-mercenary2
M!Dia @mafia-dia-smthidk
M!Bun @mafia-bun
M!Dash @the-mafia-bear
M!Moshieee @mafia-moshie
M!Kay @mafia-kay
All canon characters in this, as of recent times, for the blacks. I might do one including everyone’s favorite non canon characters if I get the time and people wanna see it. Remember that these are all just for the sillies.
Yeah dash is in these, but I made them a while ago.
That’s why this one is short, we have to cut out the traitor 💃 so I’m posting all the old ones so I can do the new ones and slander him.
••+^+••
M!Kay: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?
M!Dia: Okay.
*later*
M!Bun: M!Dia! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.
M!Kay, whispering: Deny everything.
M!Dia, loudly: That isn't a chair.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: Astrology is fun because I can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.
M!Jeffery: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That’s not hate it’s just a fact.
••+^+••
M!Dash: Anybody got any crayons so I can color in my Ph. D.?
••+^+••
M!Jeffery: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?
M!Rabid: IT.
M!Kay: Annabelle.
M!Moshieee: Paranormal Activity.
M!Dash: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.
••+^+••
M!Bun: Good morning!
M!Jeffery: Is it? Is it really?
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: Croissants: dropped
M!Dash: Road: works ahead
M!Bun: BBQ sauce: on my titties
M!Dia: Shavacado: fre
M!Kay: Miss Keisha: fuckin dead
M!Jeffery:
M!Jeffery: ...I didn’t understand a single word of that and I hate every single one of you.
••+^+••
M!Dash to M!Bun: Me? I'm the bee knees, but, you? You're just...
M!Dia: Cockroach ankles!
M!Dash: Ye- uh, what?
••+^+••
M!Dash, spraying a melted cutting board with a tiny water gun: We gotta cool this bitch down. Cool it down.
M!Moshieee: I actually just put the cutting board in the oven...
M!Dia, visibly confused: Okay, so they decided to put the cutting board in the oven?
M!Dash, spraying M!Moshieee: You FUCKING DUMBASS!
M!Moshieee: Dude, I forgot-
M!Dash: OH MY FUCKING GOD! We're trying to make Chicken Alfredo right now, and you fucking MELT the cutting board in the oven at 400 DEGREES FAHRENHEIT!?
M!Bun: *Watching in complete confusion while trying to process this whole situation.*
••+^+••
M!Kay, about a fight between M!Moshieee and M!Dash: It scares me how many knives were involved.
M!Rabid: There… weren’t any knives involved though?
M!Kay: That’s what scares me.
••+^+••
M!Kay: Are you good?
M!Dash: In what sense?
M!Kay: Generally.
M!Dash: Oh, definitely not.
••+^+••
M!Kay: Hey, M!Moshieee, have you thought about having children?
M!Moshieee: ...
M!Moshieee: Does looking over you and the others not seem like I already do? Because I promise you, it sure feels like it.
M!Kay: But we're not childr-
M!Moshieee, already distracted: M!JEFFERY, PUT THE FIRE DOWN!
••+^+••
M!Kay: What do you think M!Rabid will do for a distraction?
M!Bun: They'll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That's what I would do.
*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*
M!Bun: ...or they could do that.
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: Remember, if you get captured, no matter what they do, don’t talk!
M!Dia: What if they torture us?
M!Moshieee: Just don’t talk!
M!Dia: Can we scream a little?
••+^+••
M!Rabid: That’s the longest worm I’ve ever seen.
M!Jeffery: That’s a snake.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: Hey, about that love letter you sent me-
M!Jeffery: *blushes* What are your thoughts?
M!Rabid: The fourth sentence-
M!Jeffery: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I-
M!Rabid: It’s “you’re” not “your”.
••+^+••
M!Dia: Reverse tooth fairy where you leave money under your pillow and the tooth fairy comes and leaves you a bunch of teeth.
M!Kay: Why?
M!Dia, shaking a bag of teeth: Just because.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: M!Jeffery told me to stop being immature, so I told them to get out of my fort.
••+^+••
M!Dash: I just wanna be called cute 21/7.
M!Dia: Why no 24/7?
M!Dash: Snack breaks.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: What’s it like being tall?
M!Rabid: Is it nice?
M!Rabid: Can you reach comfortably for the cupboards?
M!Bun: We live in constant fear of the short ones who, in my experience, will climb 4 chairs, 2 boxes, a small coffee table and 6 oddly placed stools to get what they want.
M!Dash: It was one time!
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: Of course I have a lot of pent-up rage, you fool! I've been the same height since I was twelve!
••+^+••
M!Rabid: If you spell skeletons backwards, it still spells skeletons.
M!Bun, deadpan: Wow, I can't wait for Halloween to see some snoteleks.
••+^+••
M!Bun: What’s sexting?
M!Moshieee: I'm not having this conversation with you.
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: Problem, I can't tell if this food is over-sauced or undercooked.
M!Rabid: Solution, just pop it back in the oven for another 10 minutes. There's at least a 50% chance that'll fix it, right?
M!Dash: Result? Food has somehow become unpleasantly soggy and unpleasantly crunchy at the exact same time.
M!Jeffery: No better time than this to pull out my favorite word! Slunchy!
M!Kay: ...put it away.
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: M!Rabid told me that brown is just navy orange, and I have never been more disappointed with something I agree with.
••+^+••
M!Jeffery: How’s practice going?
M!Moshieee: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there.
M!Jeffery: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes.
M!Moshieee: …you shouldn’t be condoning this.
M!Jeffery: Don’t tell me how to live my life.
••+^+••
M!Dia: We need a plan to beat them.
M!Jeffery: Okay, listen up. First, we fill their shoes with wet cat food.
M!Dia:
M!Jeffery: Judge me all you want, I get results.
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: I love you.
M!Dia: How many people have you said that to?
M!Moshieee: Everyone.
M!Dia: What?
M!Moshieee: I told everyone that I love you.
••+^+••
M!Kay: Just a minute. I need to go take out the trash.
M!Moshieee: Oh. We're going out?
M!Kay: Wh...
••+^+••
M!Dash: M!Dia, you're an asshole, man.
M!Dia: You are what you eat M!Dash.
••+^+••
M!Dia: I suppose you’re right. We really would be better off working together.
M!Moshieee: So, then… détente?
M!Dia: Agreed.
M!Moshieee: Understanding?
M!Dia: Possibly.
M!Moshieee: Cooperation?
M!Dia: Maybe.
M!Moshieee: Trust?
M!Dia: Out of the question.
••+^+••
M!Kay, playing a video game: How do I play?
*M!Kay has drawn first blood!*
*M!Kay is on a killing spree!*
*M!Kay is on a rampage!*
*M!Kay is unstoppable!*
*M!Kay is dominating!*
*M!Kay is godlike!*
M!Kay: Don’t worry guys, I figured it out.
••+^+••
M!Dia: We need a way to lure in new customers?
M!Moshieee: Maybe we could have some fun, interactive events!
M!Dash: M!Kay bath water.
M!Kay: ABSOLUTELY NOT!
••+^+••
M!Kay: Wow, great work on the Halloween decorations. Where did you get the fake skeletons?
M!Rabid: Fake?
••+^+••
M!Dia: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?
M!Kay: M!Jeffery, probably.
••+^+••
M!Bun: Okay, two person huddle.
M!Jeffery: You can't huddle with two people. This is just a hug.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: I'm not funny, I'm just really mean and people think I'm joking.
••+^+••
M!Bun: BEHOLD, the field in which I grow my fucks! Lay thine eyes upon it, and thou shalt see that it is barren!
••+^+••
M!Moshieee: I am an expert at identifying birds.
M!Bun: Okay, what about those ones flying over there?
M!Moshieee: Yeah, they're all birds.
••+^+••
M!Dash: I dropped M!Jeffery.
M!Moshieee: M!Dash, what the fuck.
••+^+••
M!Rabid: Hold on, I can explain!
M!Dash: Really? Can you now?
M!Rabid: I can if you give me a minute to think of a convincing lie.
••+^+••
M!Jeffery: Wow. I keep stepping on a lot of crunchy twigs.
M!Dia: Those are bones, M!Jeffery.
M!Jeffery: *looks straight up* Not if I never look down.
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