personally i think the best way to look at this election in terms of "who am i (as a viewer) going to vote for" is that first and foremost, for us, this is a STORY. we are watching a story (and also a fun game and funny people doing funnies together, but for election purposes we'll say that)
therefore our goal should not be "which candidate has the best policies" or "which candidate is best for the island". we don't CARE. that's not our business.
we don't care what's good for the islanders. THAT'S NOT OUR BUSINESS. we're not islanders nor are we players. we are the guy in the bar watching the Truman show. our business is "what story do we want to see?"
each candidate offers something different.
(note: i don't claim to understand their platforms, for personal reasons i haven't followed it closely bc i kinda suspected there was gonna be drama and didn't feel like stressing myself over minecraft politics; my local elections freak me out enough lol)
for a rough example:
elquackity: obvious federation plant, clear enemy for the rest of the server. man-vs-government arc.
forever: did you like cellbit's infiltration arc? i could predict something like that following in forever's footsteps (forever sneaks around the federation, learns a few secrets, continues to make his changes to the server but does perhaps experience horrors, most likely a slower burn than cellbit's arc but certainly a lot of espionage and theorycrafting)
gegg: gegg chamg e world
those of y'all with a sounder grasp on candidates, sound off in the notes on what we can expect FROM A STORY PERSPECTIVE; i actively ignore the debates (they make me want to cry lmfao). i don't care what their platform is exactly, where will it take the story?
and i'll repossess your liver if i see any goddamn cc hate or harassment in there. this is more than not a safe space for that, this is an active danger zone. watch yourselves. <3
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Based on the burger, Novelle going on a burger date with her s/o and the s/o doing the burger challenge from persona 5 and managing to do it!
(Genshin Impact) Noelle's S/O attempting the Big Bang Burger challenge
"Whopper, Whopper, Whopper, Whopper
Junior, Double, Triple, Whopper
You live at 108 East Columbia Street-"
(Noelle) "I'm not a fussy eater, but I really don't like banquets… The reason being, as the maid, I am expected to sample every single dish on the table to ensure its quality. Just one bite of each, of course, but it all adds up… Oh, the guilt…" (Direct Game Dialogue)
Noelle tries not to gorge herself on food. It's very unmaid-like to have crumbs covering your cheeks, munching away on a variety of food.
But when Good Hunter had a new challenge for a "Burger", S/O wanted to try it out during their date.
Noelle is ready to order a salad before seeing S/O saying they would like to attempt the challenge.
In thirty minutes, S/O had to eat a massive burger, the size of which could dwarf the stars!...Or so the advertising blurb went, anyway.
She wasn't entirely sure if this was a foreign food or not, but, it did look good at least!
As for the challenge...not so much. Noelle's belt felt tighter just looking at the picture.
(Noelle) "S/O? Are you sure you want to take the challenge?"
Well, then again the pictures tend to exaggerate how big food actually is-
By Barbatos's holy balls, that burger was MASSIVE.
It made everyone passing by do a double take, looking at the size of the burger on the plate.
(Noelle) "What in the world, where's the bread?! That's just meat and veggies!"
(S/O) "I can do this, Noelle! If I finish it, the meal is free!"
(Noelle) "Oh dear."
Noelle watched S/O tackle the burger as they picked it up somehow and dug in.
It honestly made her feel ill just looking at them.
That burger alone was more than she ate in an entire week.
As the minutes pass by, it feels like hours as she barely sees a dent made in the burger.
By the ten minute mark, S/O looked like they were ready to die, Noelle's heart was ready to burst, thinking they actually would.
She could feel the calorie pressure just radiating from the burger as S/O finally made decent progress.
Finally by the thirty minute mark, a crowd had gathered around S/O to watch, Noelle only realizing they were there when they finally finished.
Their face slammed onto the table, with Sara clapping her hands.
(Sara) "Congratulations! You've beaten the challenge! Your meal for Miss Noelle and yourself are free, and here's your prize!"
...It was a charm necklace in the shape of a burger.
That was just insult to injury.
(Noelle) "S/O?"
(S/O) "Ugh...I-I did it...Enjoy your meal, sweetie."
(Noelle) "How can I enjoy my meal when you're about to die from indigestion?!"
(S/O) "Do...you want a burger?"
(Noelle) "NO!...W-Well, not that one, but I still shouldn't put on any calories!"
(Lumine) "I feel like I've gained weight just watching you..."
(Noelle) "AGH! H-Honorary Knight? When did you get here?!"
(Lumine) "Paimon and I came to see what the fuss was about about fifteen minutes ago. Gotta say, I'm impressed!"
Noelle watched Paimon materialize next to Lumine.
(Paimon) "Paimon likes new food buuuuut, that might be a bit too far!...Also, is S/O going to be alright?"
Noelle sighed and gently picked up S/O into her arms effortlessly, cradling them to not further upset their stomach.
(S/O) "Probably not."
(Noelle) "Please, excuse me!"
Before departing, Noelle made sure to organize the plates, and steal a Fontaine Fry before heading to Barbara's.
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