#journal stuff

[belovedapollo]

October has been a rollercoaster so far 😔

reblog is ok, don’t repost

#my photos #my journal #my notebook #moleskine #moleskine notebook #journal #journal community #journal stuff #journal spread #journal addict #aesthetic journal #journal pages #journal post #journal inspiration #journal ideas #journal inspo #journal intime #journal time #journal therapy #journal thoughts #journal entry #journal writing #studyblr #studyblog #cozy #light aesthetic #light academia aesthetic #light academia

[etraytin]

I started working this past year for a home health company that contracts with the VA for a lot of its clients. It’s interesting because it means I have a mix of relatively affluent seniors who want to age in their homes and veterans of all ages and economic status who need help with their activities of daily living. My job is pretty similar with all of them, personal care, mobility assistance, light cooking and housekeeping, and companionship. I do okay at all of it and I’m learning a lot, but my favorite part is the companionship. A lot of these folks have amazing stories and hardly anybody to tell them to.

My newest VA client is a little old centenarian, a WWII vet, whose memories of his past are so startlingly clear I sometimes feel like he remembers his past better than I remember mine. I do respite care for him, coming in so his regular caregivers get breaks, and we will often just sit in his living room and he will tell me endless stories, one just segueing into the next.

Last night we watched a documentary together on the B-17 “Flying Fortress” bomber from WWII. I’ve seen many similar documentaries, but I’ve never watched one before with a vet who was counting the bombs that dropped from each plane and pointing out the positions of the fighter escorts and what they were doing. It was incredibly interesting to see what he was paying attention to in each scene and what was important because it was part of his lived experience. He likes to tell war stories, but he’s just as happy to tell me about how he used to stop by his friends’ houses at dinner time when he was a child because they were mostly Italian and would offer him little dishes of strange noodles and sauces, or how he and his friends got in trouble for popping snow fences because their parents got charged twenty-five cents for every stick they ruined.

I am happy to have had the opportunity to experience that, but at the same time sad, because the time for anyone to have that experience is coming to an end. He is one of the last ones to have lived through all the things we know from history books, and he is one of the last to remember the experiences he had with the generation that came before him. History spins out like a long piece of yarn, with each generation splicing into the next and the next, old threads tapering out as new ones are twisted in. We can see the trail of yarn behind us, but the part we can actually touch is so limited and so finite. It’s difficult but possible to imagine the time when it is my generation in the same position, when I am an old woman taking to a middle-aged Gen Alpha about my life before home computers and how my grandparents fought in the Second World War, and how that thread will connect two generations that otherwise would never touch.

#history #journal stuff #wwii #I was young when my own grandparents died #I wish I’d asked them so many more questions

[bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus]

I have had my first encounter with a Bloodborne boss.

The Cleric Beast made me almost shit out my spine.

My dad was having the time of his life watching me scream, then cackle nervously, only to scream once more as the Cleric Beast's fist came crashing down.

I was just rolling around on the bridge and trying to bite its ankles.

Absolutely terrifying.

#bloodborne #cleric beast #playing games has been great at boosting my mood especially when I've got someone else screaming with me #Astarion may be rotting my brain but he's got tough competition #Bloodborne is a feminist masterpiece lmaoooo #journal stuff

[thorst]

I am attempting to recover the Neopets account I opened in 2000

If this works, I'll try to recover my 2001 FF dot net account too

Nothing would bring me greater joy than uploading the rest of the Takari Digimon fic I wrote ALL OF in a NOTEBOOK in 2001 and didn't type up the entirety of because I didn't have a computer at home

Nothing

Can you imagine a fic being updated after over 20 years? Absurd, hilarious, I want to do it so bad

#journal stuff

[archersea]

i went on a date last sunday

#poem #my poetry #journal pages #art journal #journal art #words #wlw yearning #wlw #journal stuff #poetry

[ithika]

Don't mind me, I just:

rewatched the Dark Knight Trilogy for the first time in ~9 years and immediately lost my whole mind

went hunting for and found and absolutely read as fast as I could my most favourite Batfic of all time (Department of Archives, it is unfinished but don't let that stop you, it is wonderful. It is definitely one of the fics that has stayed with me the longest. There's not many fics that I remember after 10 years, I will tell you that)

this is my Balebat Renaissance and I am living for it

So anyway in like 2012 I made a sideblog called Balebat, I remembered it this afternoon (I thought it was "fuckyeahbalebat" but unfortunately nobody is perfect) and I am tapping my lip like do I just go ham on this side blog or do I subject my mostly marvel related followers on @thorst to months of Batman. Why not both, you ask? Why not indeed

Anyway, I am still not likely to be active on this blog (@thorst is still my main these days, honestly just because the mobile app makes it so hard to do both) but I had to log in, firstly for the sideblog, and secondly to share the extreme joy I've found in revisiting an old obsession. (I hesitate to use the term hyperfixation because as I understand it that's relevant and specific to neurodivergent people and to the best of my knowledge I'm not, but it certainly fits the definition! BUT, then so does obsession, so that's what I'll use)

#journal stuff #Back On My Bullshit 2k23 #balebat

[glutenfree-rootbeer]

Lost journal page #42069

More things im not allowed to talk about;

I kept saying over and over that my wedding will be untraditional. I wont have a ceremony or a bridal shower, i just want a fancy dinner party with my closest friends and family. Seeing as i dont have a dad or any grandparents and my fiancé has just one grandparent remaining, coupled with the facts that we’re an awkward gamer couple, dont have too many friends to invite, and are non religious-all these reasons and more made me want a small intimate gathering. My mom kept asking and insisting on helping. She planned on having it in her backyard, and hosting everyone by paying for the hotel. I said no, thank you- over and over. She insisted on a farm near her, she gave me the itinerary she thinks is best, shes insisted on another one recently, and another. I asked her politely to stop and let me come to her for help. Meantime- My brother’s long term ‘high school sweet heart’ hearing of the youngest sister was getting engaged made her impromptu proposal to my brother a couple weeks before mine. So i decided, Im waiting a year till i plan my wedding. I dont need to compete.

My brothers wedding came and went, my mom decided that ~she~ had a bad time at my brothers wedding and he made her feel bad by only inviting her. She tells me she wants to pay extra for mine to be ‘big’ and ‘fancy’. I tell her, ‘its small mom, only 10 friends and 10 family and 5 family friends. No reception, no ceremony.’ She says ‘well i really think you should rethink all that’ (she means that as a threat) and she says she wants all her friends there. At least 20+ people added to my list, instantly doubling it. Confused, i say ‘that’s embarrassing, my mom will have more friends there than me! Narrow it down to 5 maybe..?’ And She says to me ‘wedding aren’t really about you r$&78, its about your parents because we pay’

I short answered through the rest of the call and I hung up the phone with her. The conversation echoed in my head. ‘Its not about you, i want to invite my friends, rethink your idea and plan, think my plan instead, because i pay’

The day passes, she sends me more places with isles set up, places that have a 100ppl minimum, places extravagant, places that cost more that my whole years rent, shes offering her idea on what vendors to have, she sends over her 20+ person guest list. Her words echo every message i read ‘its not really about you’

Now im the asshole turning down an ‘expensive nice wedding’ now im the brat in this story. I dont want what my mom wants, so she takes it back. She tells me what i could have and if i dont sit, shake and roll over i dont get it. Its happened with college, with cars, with living situations, and so much more. Ive almost always ended up paying for things myself. She paid for 1/2 my community college, thats it. Her idea of love is monetary value. I cant stand it. Im probably getting married in a court house, thats fine. Doesnt matter where. This is not a party for her and her friends. This is not about her, it is about me and my fiancé. Its a celebration of our love and unity as a couple, its personal to us, and im pissed she said that.

Oh did i mention? She gave my brother $$$$ for his wedding. No strings attached.

#rant #journal stuff #will private later

[lydia-morphmen]

Pt 2 (The day they’ve first met)

♥︎ Pete then, steered his steamboat to the nearest edge, where he'd pranked not too far from Honey. Honey sat still, taking in breath with her eyes close, only for her ears to twitch at the sound of sandy steps forward towards her. She opened one eye then the other only for her pupils to shrunken at the sight of the large beefy toon. However, her pupils immediately did the opposite, while the corners of her mouth went up. Pete rose a brow. Honey went from looking shock to pure joy. It's almost as if she was happy to see Pete (into which she was), but why wasn't she like that before? why does she seem so happy now after what happened? that's because she never got the chance to say a word, and Pete was aware of that. While he made it on the steamboat, he couldn't stop thinking about what happened. Most specifically about honey. 'Who was that lady i nearly ran over?' his curiosity was yanking his mind. He never saw anyone like her, apart from Minnie. To satisfy his curiosity, he took this moment to talk to Honey, and maybe get a little information out of her. The silence broke when Honey cheerfully greeted him, while giving her usual smile. Pete was hypnotized by her smile till he jolted back in reality. He started to feel nervous, but Honey sat calmly, giving him a frown smile. This cooled him down, allowing himself to relax, and chat with Honey. Drops of sweat still slide down, but Pete just swiped them off, without rushing it. His first question he asked if Honey was 'new here' she responded with 'not really'. Pete then asked her 'how is that? 'ow come I never see ya around?' Honey replied with saying that she 'was born here somewhere, until her and her family had moved' she then also adds that her 'family may have moved, but she wanted to stay and travel on her own to which her parents were proud of her'. After asking a few questions, Pete then apologized for what happened a while ago, Honey accepted his apology. Her smile was still present, her cheeks were blooming and her eyes were sparkling. Her whole appearance kept Pete's eyes locked on her, before running to get (back) on board his steamboat, leaving Honey happily wave a 'goodbye' at him. This was the beginning of their friendship. (Or at least to Honey) The End. ♥︎

#my art #ibispaint my beloved #cat #bat #honey #peg leg pete #pete #mickey mouse #disney #steamboat willie #1920's #1928 #story #storytelling #journal stuff

[kocourovina]

time to find out if im a journal person

#journal stuff

[neurodivergenttales]

The ‘you’re mature for your age’ to sleeping with a bed full of plushies in your mid twenties pipeline is real

#mental health #neurodivergent #neurodiverse stuff #mental illness #journaling #actually autistic #late diagnosed autistic #asd #autistic life #autistic adult #actually autism #autism #unmasking autism

[sunchasingwrites]

“I dont feel like I’ve lived long enough to feel so much.

Cut me open and see the years,

Like rings in a fallen tree.

Ever growing I find that 20 years is so long and not enough time,

So much has been stuffed inside my skin that I feel like I just might burst with the pressure of it all.

But they say i have so many more years,

21 turns to 32 in a matter of days.”

-Something on aging

#poetry #writing #brainvomit #aging #existential #short poetry #journal stuff

[belovedapollo]

some journals from last and this year (so far) 🖋️ reblog is ok, don’t repost

#my photos #my journal #my notebook #notebook #journal writing #art journal #book journal #journal #dream journal #journal therapy #journaling #bujo #aesthetic journal #journal time #journal ideas #journal inspiration #journal spread #journal stuff #journal addicted #light aesthetic #light academia #light academia aesthetic

[etraytin]

Oh, have you moved house again recently? If so I hope it all went smoothly!

Yes, my mother in law is very frail and nearing the end of her life. She needs full-time care if she's going to be able to stay in her home, and we found ourselves in a position where it was becoming increasingly clear that my husband wasn't going to get tenure (not his fault, dysfunctional department) and that our income wasn't nearly keeping up with rising everything prices, especially rent. Moving to North Carolina and moving in with her is a relatively elegant solution for all of our problems in that she gets to stay in her home and gets good round-the-clock care (I have learned _so much_ about elder care this year, for real!) and we have a nice place to live in a part of the country where we have wanted to live for awhile.

It hasn't all been great. Moving always sucks, especially since for this move I had to go back to Virginia for a week (I have already been mostly living in NC since February), pack everything up, supervise the movers, clean out the apartment and tie up all the loose ends of our lives there. Thank god my parents are retired and were willing and able to come for the entire week to help me get things done and stay sane in the process. My husband was able to get another job in his field, but it's a 90 minute drive each way every day. The kiddo wasn't happy about moving again and starting a new school, but the new school has theater and robotics classes and he's doing really well so far. I miss my work with the Red Cross and raising foster kittens and volunteering because my current endeavor takes all my time, but a full-time job anywhere would've done that anyway. And our cat died and that was very sad, but she was eighteen and had a massive stroke, so that really would've happened anyway.

Overall it's been pretty good and things are finally starting to settle down. Most of our stuff is still in boxes in the Cube of Worldly Possessions I sketched out with painters tape in the garage when the movers dropped it off, but we're slowly getting things integrated in the household. Western North Carolina is a beautiful place to live and I am routinely left breathless by our view of the mountains (or from chasing the deer out of our yard before they eat the roses.) My mother in law is not doing great, but considering that at the beginning of the year it seemed unlikely she'd last through the summer, she's all right. She is comfortable and happy and really likes having family around, and she and I have always gotten along well. It's been a hard time and there will be more hard times ahead, but we have a lovely home here and I am officially getting rid of all our moving supplies. Thanks for your good wishes!

#journal stuff #personal #it's been a bit of a time lately #but that's when i have my best hyperfixations

[bacon-sandwich-of-dionysus]

Eid Mubarak, lovelies! Hope those who celebrated had a wonderful time!

Feels great not to be fasting for Ramadan lol, I enjoy doing it, but it was really tough for my first time away from home and at uni 😮‍💨.

Nevertheless, hoped everyone's meals slapped, and folks got some lovely Eid pressies <3.

#eid mubarak #journal stuff #<3

[thorst]

🚨🚨 Caution: this post is a millennial whining about adulting 🚨🚨

So our retic (automatic sprinklers, for the gardens, because I live in western Australia where it's fuken hot) are in the process of carking it but I can't find and fix the cause of the problem. It could be wiring, the 30 year old controller unit, pipes (underground), this little guy called a solenoid (also underground), the bore (not a pig)... Idk man

Anyway I'm having a whinge because I've finally had to suck it up and hire someone to fix it and I have no idea what it is going to cost or if he will even be able to find the problem 🙃 but having gardens is important for local fauna, reducing the urban heat sink and, and, and

Anyway, small fry but I'm stressed

#journal stuff #dear diary #irl problems lol

[silentlyquestioning]

#my writing #poetry #poem #spilled ink #journal stuff #old writing