#john winchester tw

[totallynotaraccoonindiscuise]

hey guys do you wanna have a flash fic of dean doing the Gay Crisis Tango?

of course you do have some destiel highschool au where Dean sees Cas and cannot cope

Italicized stuff is flashbacks, sorry if theirs eyestrain!!

------------------------------------------------------

Dean sat on his bed, starting at a wall across from him. It was his first day of school in this new shitty town and he was already starting to hate it.

The teachers were annoying, the classes were hard, and he was learning things he wasn't ready to know about himself.

"And this is our new student Dane Winchester!"

"Its Dean." Dean corrected, not in the mood to deal with annoying teachers.

"Right, Dean. Sorry." The teacher corrected himself.

Dean grabbed his hair and let himself give into gravity, falling onto his bed in the motel room he'd be staying in with Sam for supposedly only two weeks, but he knows his dad isn't good about that stuff.

"Alrighty Dane, you'll be over there with Mr. Novak."

"Its Dean." He insisted as he walked over to the desk the teacher, whos name he hadn't bothered learning, had gestured to and sat down.

It wasn't their first time staying in a town so small that the middle, elementary, and high school were all in the same building, having to share desks and only moving from class to class maybe three times a day, one of those being to go to lunch, but, this was definitely the most interesting iteration.

He sat down and looked over at his new desk mate for hopefully only two weeks, and immediately took back that last notion.

The man next to him, Novak, was it? Was... hot. Beautiful in ways Dean hadn't seen in anyone before. Messy brown hair stuck up in every direction, a grim look to his already stubbled face. Bright blue eyes, so blue they pierced Deans heart, lay heavy-set into his skull. Chapped, large pink lips that made Deans mind wander.

Dean immediately looked away, his face growing red and his heart pounding.

'What the fuck?' Dean thought to himself.

'No, no no no no no no no. I am NOT gay. I like women! I've had girlfriends! I am NOT into a guy ive never talked to.'

Dean laid now, after a long, tiring day of seeing that handsome guy he now knew as Castiel roam from class to class and going across rooms and sitting and- Dean had been watching him all day.

Walking back to the motel from school Sam had brought up his staring, as he was now also in highschool and noticed his brothers odd behavior.

Dean new better than to push his brother away and decided to open up.

"I think I might be bi."

Dean had always been aware of being gay and bi and such but his dad had made him think that things like that were just as unnatural as the monsters he hunted.

Sam, of course, immediately told him he was cool with it and asked him why he'd decided to tell him now.

Dean had told him the truth.

And now he's here. Wondering what the fuck changed to make him suddenly bi.

He thought back all the way to his first memories, as far as he could go. In his digging, he remembered the fourth grade, where his dad told him liking men as a man was as wrong as sucking blood. Why had his dad said that?

Then, it clicked.

He'd told his dad he had a crush on a boy in his class. He remembered now. How his dad had freaked out and beat him. Kicked him out of the house for a night. He couldn't believe he could forget something like that.

"Uh, hi?" Dean had said to the man next to him.

"hello." Jesus, even his voice was hot. Rough and deep with a twinge of sincerity.

"Fuck."

#dean winchester #destiel #destiel fanfiction #deancas #castiel #sam winchester #john winchesters a+ parenting #john winchester tw #bisexual dean #bisexual #bisexual pride #fanfiction #my work #authors of tumblr

[rinneyism]

you know whats so insane to me about the line "he took you to a friggin baseball game" its that dean always had hope that their dad is a good dad in his own.. messed up way. he tried, and dean believed it was enough and that there is no point because his dad is not capable of change and so he is going to take what he can get, any crumbs at all, anything his dad can offer. but then you find out about his whole OTHER son that he took to baseball games and drank beer with and he even remembers adam's birthday and it hits him so fucking hard because john winchester was capable of change. it just means that dean wasn't worth the effort

#supernatural #spn #dean winchester #adam milligan #john winchester tw #john winchester #i hate you john winchester

[angelswatchingover]

They missed a golden opportunity for Latika and Carlos to exchange money when they saw John and Mary kiss. 

#The Winchesters #SPNWin #SPNWin 1x09 #Mary Campbell #John Winchester TW #Carlos Cervantos #Latika #Samuel Campbell TW #spoilers #The Winchesters spoilers #TW spoilers

[bowties-and-warlocks]

In honor of it being Father’s Day, here’s my list of the shitty-est fictional dads(and father figures) in no particular order

• J*hn Winchester

• Uther Pendragon

• Odin

• Howard Stark

• Brian Banner

• Jason Gideon

#if you need reasons I got slides #should I do a list of good fathers??? #ross geller would be on this list but he was decent #at being a father not at being anything else #supernatural #fuck john winchester #spn #marvel #criminal minds #bbc merlin #fathers day #swearing tw #john winchester tw

[sadgirlbadpoems]

I think that the Supernatural fandom doesn't give Dean Winchester enough credit or hold John Winchester accountable nearly enough. I would argue that John's abuse (mental, emotional and physical) and its constant effect in both boys lives is constantly downplayed by a majority of the fanbase.

The parentification of an elder sibling has been proven to cause lasting issues and we see this throughout the show; when Dean is overly protective of Sam, treats Sam's life as more valuable than his own, can't picture a life where he's not needed, and his dismissal of Sam as a valuable contributor in an equal partnership. Dean is often criticized both in canon and by fans for being overbearing and codependent on Sam. This is a direct result of John Winchester's inability to parent.

Dean's emotional repression is shown to be caused by his father's militant behaviors and approach to parenting. Dean doesn't see his feelings as valid or important and thus turns to repression or unhealthy coping mechanisms as illustrated throughout the show. His alcoholism, violent outbursts, and unhealthy relationship with sex are all coping mechanisms he uses not to feel.

Through flashbacks (and some dialog) the viewer is show that Sam is more resentful towards John than Dean, and that he even holds resentment towards Dean for being the "perfect little soldier".

That's part of the reason Castiel is such a great foil for Dean, both are loyal to absent fathers' but while Dean was born with free will he follows his father's orders unwaveringly until sometime after his death, Cass a being created without free will breaks free of the command of his father and from his father's mission, becoming for all intents and purposes a Prodigal son like Sam.

Dean's adherence to his father's word is, much like Sam's rebellion a response to continued and repeated abuse, neither brother is perfect. And their father was the furthest thing from it.

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #john winchester bashing #cw alcohol #tw abuse #cw sex mention #am i really talking about this in 2024 #spn #castiel #dean deserved better #sam did too #parentified child #sorry for the rant #i have so many thoughts #and feelings

[pussypopstiel]

Mary have mercy, now look what I’ve done

Face details under the cut, click for better quality

#my silly little posts #spn #dean winchester #supernatural #my art #spn art #suptober22 #horrornatural22 #insidious prompt #sam winchester #john winchester #supernatural fanart #flashing tw

[angelsdean]

a very specific headcanon i have that i've just written into one of my longer wips (so you won't see the scene for an age) is that john is kinda a dick abt food and dean's eating habits. and he's just. so oblivious to the amount that his kids are suffering when he's gone. because dean sure as hell is not gonna bring up how the money is never enough, how they're near starving toward the end of some weeks. how they've relied on charity more than once. so when john comes back and gets them big full meals and dean especially practically inhales his food (bc he's hungrier, bc he's given more of his portions to sammy) john chides him to slow down, it'll make himself sick etc etc. but dean struggles. and he's always SO eager for burgers and pie and carb-y filling things. because he's starving. but he gets a reputation for "eating junk." john teases him for it. or berates him for it when he's feeling especially mean. when dean's older, stanford era, and they meet up for a hunt and get lunch dean still digs into his food a little too quickly, he asks the waitress for pie with a little too much gusto, and john shakes his head, laughing, saying it's a good thing dean's a hunter, it's a good thing he's got the grueling work to keep him fit or else all those burgers and pies would've definitely caught up to him by now. laughs at how dean still eats too fast, "you've done that since you were a kid. never grew out of it, huh?" and dean bites his cheek, bites back a remark about why he always ate so fast, why he's still always squirreling away food and jumping at every "free food" "free samples" opportunity even now when money is easier to come by

#reading stonelions' if only maybe and then yesterday reminded me of this specific headcanon #i don't know what to tag this but i feel i need to put some tw's #so ask to tag if i missed something #tw food insecurity #tw food issues #tw childhood neglect #tw body shaming #fuck john winchester #young dean

[spiritmunie]

Sam Winchester // Free (Florence + The Machine)

#made yet another emotionally fraught sam amv loll i always make myself sad #i love florencenatural... i need to finish my florence cas amv... #sam winchester #sam winchester amv #sam and dean #sam and john #spn #spn amv #spnamvarchive #florencenatural #my amv #tw violence #tw abuse #tw drugs #tw flashing

[holylulusworld]

Ready for harvest

Summary: You and your alphas play another game.

Written for @spnkinkevents SPN Omegaverse Week – Day 6 – Friday, April 19 – Slick

Pairing: Alpha!Dean Winchester x fem!Reader; Alpha!Sam Winchester x fem!Reader; Alpha!John Winchester x fem!Reader

Warnings: implied smut/light smut, somnophilia, use of a sex swing, implied taking turns, blindfolds, use of a safe word, aftercare, consensual degrading, daddy kink, a/b/o, a/b/o dynamics, established polyamorous relationship, fluff

Catch up here: Hungry like the wolf

A/N: The story takes place in Season 10. John is still alive for my storyline.  

Words: 1,3 k+

SPN Omegaverse Week Masterlist

A snowstorm ruined your plans, but it offered a new opportunity. While stuck at the bunker with your alphas, you came up with new ideas to kill time.

Strip poker. Chasing a fake monster. Strip charade. Naked cooking contests. 

Five days later you’re still stuck in the bunker, unable to leave it because of the snow masses blocking all exits.

Luckily you’re always prepared and got enough food, because and men around to survive for even for weeks without leaving the bunker.

“Good thing I bought all the good shit before the weather decided to fuck us over,” John grins at you. “What do you say, Y/N? Do you want to try it out? I got it in our playroom.”

You chuckle at his eagerness. It was his idea to turn one of the rooms at the bunker into a playroom for you and your alphas.

“Okay, show me what you bought,” you lean closer to whisper in his ear, “Daddy.”

“Careful or I’ll take you right here, in the hallways.”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” you grin, remembering the night John pounced on you after you sneaked into the kitchen for a late-night snack. He fucked you right there, on the floor for his sons to watch. “It was so hot and dirty.”

“Because we all took turns,” Sam suddenly stands behind you to grope your ass. For a man his size, he’s fucking stealthy. “So, what are we up to today? Can I sort the books at the library, or did we find something more interesting to do?”

You smirk at Sam.

“I think our omega wants to play,” John snickers. He unashamedly cups his crotch. It’s only you and his sons, and all of you have seen all of him over the years. No one around to judge you for being a pack’s omega.

“Hmm…” you run your fingertips over the sex swing hammock John decided to buy. You feel the soft leather to check the quality. “It looks nice.” You’re unsure for the first time.

“If you don’t like it, we can just chase you around the bunker and play hide and seek,” Dean joins the party. “We thought it’d be nice if you played pillow princess and just enjoyed the ride.”

“Pillow princess?” You snort. It’s not your style to just take it. “How will this work?” You tug at the straps to test the stability of the hammock. “Me?”

“I want you to wear this,” John purrs and holds a blindfold in front of your face. “We want to play guess the cock.”

“You’re kinky, Mr. Winchester,” you snatch the blindfold out of his hands. “Black silk, huh?”

“For special occasions, sweetheart,” Dean looks at the blindfold in your hands. “We want to give you a special night.”

“You want to get your dick wet,” you playfully slap his chest. “You horny bastard.”

Dean chuckles. “You know me so well, baby.”

“I know all of you,” you smirk darkly. “Every dirty little secret and every kink.”

“Do you trust us?” John cups your cheek. “We’d love to give you a new experience. But only if you want it.”

“Only if you promise to not tease me,” you poke your finger into his chest. “Last time you edged me for too long and then, you didn’t let me cum!”

“That was sweet punishment,” Sam taunts. “And we will do it again.”

“If you play your cards right,” you purr and step toward Sam to fist his flannel, “I allow you to massage my feet after you made me cum, Sammy.”

Your alphas smirk as you shimmy out of your panties and fling them across the room. 

“Let’s test this nice swing…”

Your alphas helped you into the shamrock. Your men made sure that you were comfortable and felt safe. John asked you about your safe word and kissed you softly before using the leg and arm straps on you.

It feels like floating. “You look ready to get eaten, doll,” John whispers in your ear. He tweaks one of your nipples, causing you to shudder. “If you guess the cock right, you get a special gift after we are done with you.”

Dean kneels in front of the shamrock to teasingly run his tongue over your clit. He grips your legs tightly, enjoying you cannot close them when he playfully sinks his teeth into your clit.

“DEAN!” you grunt. He’s a teasing little shit, and you will pay him back. “I dare you!”

“How does she taste brother?” Sam watches his father and brother tease you with little licks and touches. “Dean?”

“She’s slicking for us, Sammy,” Dean growls against your flesh. “Y/N is such a good omega for us.”

You mewl at his words. Your chest swells and your body goes lax. “Daddy…”

“I’m here, doll,” John whispers in your ear. “Can we begin, baby doll?”

“Hmmm…” you nod.

“Do you remember your safe word, Y/N?” 

“Papaya,” you murmur. “I’m all green, daddy.”

“Of course you are,” he replies and nods at his sons. “If you want us to stop, you will say it. Remember that you are the one in control.”

John’s features darken as he steps next to his sons. He cracks his neck and stares at your exposed body, ready for them to use you. You’re completely at their mercy, and his primal side loves it.

“Ready sons.”

“Ready if you are,” Dean and Sam say in unison.

“Yes…” you whisper lowly. “I want to play a game with all of you…”

You feel his hands on you seconds later. His touch is tender at first, but his hands get more demanding. He gropes your tits, roughly pinching your nipples. You know it’s Sam because he’s hiding the beast so well, but not with you.

“Fuck me,” you challenge. “Now!”

They don’t speak when they start using your body for their pleasure. It’s part of the game.  

Sam is first. He’s rough, and demanding, but he pulls three orgasms out of your body. 

You recognize Dean next. He takes his time to tease you, fingering you until you cry and beg him for an orgasm, but he will let you wait, and you’ll only find release with his cock inside of you.

John is last. He’s rougher tonight and calls you his whore, and slut. Your alpha was on the edge for weeks. One hunt had gone wrong, and he feared he’d lose another mate.

“Look at this, a whore to go,” John taunts you not only with his cock driving into you in abandon, but his voice making you shudder.

He’s unstoppable. Pulling orgasm after orgasm from your spent body. You’re sore and tired, your safe word on the top of your tongue but you don’t use it. John needs to get this out of his system, and you won’t stop him.

Even if it’s against your alphas’ rules.

In the morning, you wake to John fucking wildly into you. You’re usually more than happy if he slips inside of you while you’re asleep, but this morning is different.

You cry, and whimper. John grunts into your neck, believing you’re into it as you wiggle underneath him.

“John,” it pains you to do it, but you cannot take more, “Papaya.”

He stiffens and immediately slips out of you. “Doll,” he nuzzles you. “I’ve got you doll,” John whispers. “You did so well. We are proud of you.” He wraps his arms around you and cradles you in his arms. “I’m gonna get you clean and take care of you.”

John picks you up to carry you inside the bathroom. “I’m sorry, daddy. It was…too intense.”

“No. I’m sorry,” he pecks your hair. “I was a bad dominant today. I should’ve seen your distress and ended the session last night. It was too much, and…” He sniffs. “Please forgive me.”

“I’m fine, John,” you hide your face in his shoulder. “You’re good alphas.”

John isn’t convinced. He calls for his sons, asking them to help him with you. “We need to do more aftercare. It was too much.” He admits, ashamed. 

“We’re here, sweetheart,” Dean whispers. “We will take care of you now…”

Tags in reblog.

#dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #spnomegaverseweek2024 #a/b/o #smut #polyamory #dean winchester x reader #sam winchester x reader #john winchester x reader #Ready for harvest #tw: daddy kink #x reader

[femsammy]

#samjohn #johnsam #samzazel #sam winchester #john winchester #tw noncon #tw implied noncon #ashi this was kind of inspired by some of our conversations <3 #my edits

[bloodydeanwinchester]

🩸Bloody Dean Every Episode🩸 ↳ 1x22 || Devil's Trap

💞 also happy 1 year anniversary to this series 💞

#that's the end of s1 and i'd say im just about half way done with this series! #bloodydeanseries #bloody dean #my beloved<3 #spn 1x22 #spnedit #deanedit #cowboycoven #tw flashing #spn #supernatural #dean winchester #s1 dean #usermoogs #also fr fuck john

[suncaptor]

I think there's nothing wrong or that far off by headcanoning John as physically abusive but you must ask yourself: do I think that's the only legitimate way to make sense of why his abuse was so traumatising compared to what is shown in canon? do I understand that the physical abuse wasn't the sole traumatising factor for Sam & Dean? Do I take neglect & psychological abuse seriously or am I making it worse to try to make it valid?

#this is absolutely absolutely not about people who are victims of physical abuse who relate to sam&dean nor is it about people who are #taking psychological abuse as seriously #but you are either not in the circles ive been if you have not seen this phenomenon #incoherents #tw abuse #spn #supernatural #john winchester #john #also if you can recognise john as abusive can you also recognise dean as such 🙃🙃 when dean shows more abusive behaviour on screen #but he is lovable and traumatised and the main character and is justified?

[420technoblazeit]

the fact that we don't see john in any of the episodes showing sam and dean's childhood is so interesting to me. like we'll occasionally see dean talking with him on the phone or a brief shot of him from behind, but we never actually see him interact with them on screen. and maybe i'm reading too much into this but i feel like it makes you rely on sam and dean's impressions of him

it's hard to come to your own conclusions about how he acted in their childhood because you don't get to see it directly, you just have to piece things together from how everyone else talks about him. and this framing is especially interesting in the early seasons because dean hasn't yet realized how badly he mistreated them and he's still in denial about how abusive john was. so there's a disconnect between how sam talks about him and how dean talks about him, which changes over the course of the series. idk i just think having the viewer realize that john wasn't the perfect father they originally thought he was and have that realization match with dean's own arc is so interesting

#i just. eatign my hat ive been thinkign about like. after school special and bad boys recently hteyre such good eps for figuring out the #family dynamic durign sam and dean's childhood it makes me go insane #supernatural #spn #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #the winchester family #the pig squeals #abuse tw #tw abuse #abuse mention

[rainbow-motors]

Dean and John | The Winchesters 1.13

#Dean Winchester #deanedit #John Winchester (TW) #spnwin #spnwinedit #The Winchesters #tw 1.13 #this moment 🥺 #Jensen Ackles #jensenedit

[completelymindfucked]

#tw? #we are in a mood tonight y’all #dean winchester #john winchester #deanjohn #johndean #wincest moodboard #wincest #wincest edit

[thylaseraph]

JANUARY, 1995

It’s a shooting day and Dean’s ears are ringing with the pop of the .22 that’s growing heavy in his hands. At Bobby’s house he always has to wear earmuffs when he shoots; usually Dean complains because they look stupid, but right now his ears are so frozen he’s wishing he had a pair of his own.

He points the muzzle at the ground and shakes his head out, cupping a stiff hand to his cheek. There’s exactly zero blood flow happening in his face, and the cold makes each shot ring out so loudly he has to try not to flinch. And his socks are wet. Pretty miserable shit.

John’s on his way back from replacing the target, face grim.

“How’d I do?” Dean calls. Too loud, judging from the way his dad scowls.

“You’re blowing through ammo and you only got six on the page.”

Dean slumps. “Crap.”

“Yeah, it is. You need to get your shit together, I can tell your heart isn’t in this. You reload yet?”

Dean sniffles, even though he can’t feel his nose, either. “No.”

“No?”

“No, sir.”

“So get going. Show me you can do better.”

Dean’s fingers feel like ten useless icicles. He slides the chamber open and clink-clink-clinks ten bullets inside, then carefully closes the action. The Beretta is a testy bitch that jams constantly. Dad only trusts it for training and seems likely to chuck it soon.

He barely seems affected by the chill. Mostly he looks bored. “Go on and take a few steps forward. Ladies’ tee until you get ‘em all on the page, and then we’ll think about moving you back again.”

Dean’s skin crawls with embarrassment and he wants to protest—he could do better if it were warmer and if he weren’t so tired already—but obediently he moves closer to the target.

“Alright.”

He raises the gun and clicks the safety off. He’s probably more cautious with it than John cares, but he’d rather be safe than sorry.

The target is a sheet of paper with orange circles pinned to a stump surrounded by casings. He lines the center up in his sight and then aims a little lower to compensate because the Beretta shoots high. God, if Dean could get his hands on that ivory-grip Colt, he’d die happy.

He empties her out, gets about nine bullets on the page. Four of them land tight in the center. The stray shot is only because he overcorrected his aim at first.

He turns back to his dad with a grin on his face, feeling pretty proud. There’s a pleasant buzz of warm feeling in his nose and eartips along with the ringing in his ears as he traipses back to the ammo box. “Not so crappy, huh?”

John shakes his head. “Dunno where you learned to be such a brag.”

“What am I supposed to be, humble? Pass.” He squats by the box, breathing on his numb hands before delicately picking up the bullets. “Hard pass.”

“Being humble is what keeps you alive. Nine out of ten only seems good on a target that doesn’t move. It isn’t your best—or it shouldn’t be.” John’s silence is as unforgiving as his voice. Dean watches his words sink through the winter air like smoke.“We stay here until you can actually hit what you’re aiming at.”

Through no fault of his own, Dean’s mouth is suddenly letting loose the complaint he’s been trying to hold in. “Come on, give me a break, Dad. It’s freezing, and I’m tired, and I’m about to have frostbite on my carpal tunnel. I feel like I can barely pull the damn trigger!”

His father’s boots crush against the frozen ground louder than a gun. He looks up quickly, stomach dropping. Dad and his rifle make a stark silhouette against the cold white sky above.

“You don’t ever speak to me like that again. You sound like your brother, like some insolent child, not a man I’d trust with my weapon. I know I taught you better than this. When lives depend on you, are you still gonna be making excuses? Are you gonna be whining about the weather when it’s your bad aim that gets somebody killed? Is it gonna be the trigger’s fault when you get yourself killed?”

“No, sir,” Dean replies, heart beating in his throat.

“You’re laughing, you’re fucking around, I can see you’re not taking this seriously. You still don’t understand the stakes. Think about Sam—you know whose fault it’ll be if you can’t take care of him or the lives you say you want to protect?”

“My fault, sir. Dad, I’m sorry.”

“Don’t say sorry. Don’t be begging for respect when you haven’t earned it. The only reason we’re still out here is you. You being cold and tired right now is on you. This is all in your control. Your life is in your own hands, nobody else’s. Do you understand that?”

His eyes are so heavy.

Dean nods and looks down, unable to speak. He is so stupid.

The dry air is hurting his head; he won’t be surprised if they get back to the cabin and find Sam with a bloody nose. Kid’s got a fragile sinus. The sooner Dean makes this, the sooner they can get back. He loads fast.

“Sam told me that you went hunting,” John says, tone slipping back to conversational.

“Yeah,” Dean says, grateful as he slides the clip home. “Bobby showed us how to do animal calls.”

“Being able to hunt and eat what you’ve killed is important. For when you have to keep yourself fed, but for building character, too. A hunter should be able to hunt.”

“And fish,” Dean adds. “Hey, we should go again soon.”

John nods, the barest hint of warmth. “My point is, everything you need to survive should be in your power. Your gun is your second most important tool after grit. Even when you won’t know if you will survive, you have to know that you can survive.”

Dean nods, and after a few seconds of silence, he supplies, “Bobby makes good venison chili.” He doesn’t mention that Bobby specifically said John was not invited to any of his suppers.

“You get one?” John asks. “A deer?”

Dean stands slowly, thumbing the safety. He doesn’t click it off, yet, and he keeps it pointed at the ground. Like Bobby keeps cussing him out about. “Not yet.”

“Why not?”

Dean’s mouth is sour, the pit in his stomach is growing again, and somehow he’s sweating. John sounds like he knows the answer why.

Dean clicks the safety off and Dad doesn’t even look twice, just waits. Dean walks back to his spot and gets into position. Behind him, John sighs. He sounds so tired.

“If you can’t even kill a deer, how do you think you’re gonna be able to shoot things that look human?”

Dean aims at the target and tries to breathe. The freeze is in his lungs, now, January’s teeth seizing his insides so every inhale is sharp. The target wavers in his sight as he tries to keep his hands still. It’s just an orange circle. Just a tree stump. Just practice, so he’s fine.

He exhales slowly, finger curling around the trigger. He’s fine and he’s got this.

“I mean, what am I supposed to think, Deanna,” John says lowly, voice pinched with disappointment, “you tell me you want me to treat you like a man, but you can’t even—”

Dean fires, ten rounds in steady, thundering succession until the ringing in his ears drowns out the sound of the chamber clicking empty.

The target is in tatters. He thinks they all landed.

His chest is still tight, and raw, and like maybe something has shaken loose or broken free. With shaking hands, he zips up his jacket, and then he turns and walks to his father’s side.

“It’s Dean,” he says thinly. He clears his throat and adds, “Sir.”

John’s looking at him and Dean can’t make out what’s going on behind his eyes. After a moment he nods, and then jerks his head toward their gear. “Pack up.”

As Dean’s cleaning up—collecting fallen casings and discarded targets, and making sure every gun is unloaded and every safety is on because Sam always pokes around even when they tell him not to—John claps him on the shoulder. His voice is soft again.

“I’m just worried about you, I need you to know that. I want you to be able to take care of yourself and Sammy when I’m not around. This world is mean, and cold, and it’ll tear you apart. I can be hard on you kids…I push you too hard, I know it, and it still won’t be enough to keep you safe. And that kills me.”

John cups the back of his head. Dean meets his eyes and sees a world in there that he can’t begin to fathom. “You did good today, Dean, really good. I don’t want you to think I have any doubts—about how strong you are, and how brave. And I trust I can depend on you, son.”

Somewhere inside Dean, a knot loosens, like he’s finally been allowed to breathe a little. It’s good.

#repost from my old blog #trans dean winchester #transphobia #misgendering #deadnaming #parental abuse #verbal abuse #forced masculinzation emotional stunting meow meow meow #bound for the floor by local h released 1996 changing nothing in deans life but becoming a soundtrack #dean: i earned respect! john: if i push him hard enough he will kill so good :3 #ficlet #supernatural #trans dean #cw misgendering #tw misgendering #deadname #tw gun mention #tw gun use #mine