#jj heartbreak

[1-read-the-hobbit-in-1937]

This will be a fic about (character) walking in on reader having a shower and they fuck (basically)

Lmk if you want this to be a x black!fem reader, x plus size!reader or whatever you feel comfortable with. If there are no responses, I will write it in my perspective of slim white fem reader as it is what I am used to writing. But please, if you do want to request a fic that makes you feel comfortable reading, just DM me or send a request in the requests box.

#fanfiction #fanfic #theodore nott #harry potter fancast #heartbreak high #spencer white x reader #spider x reader #amerie wadia #anthony vaughn #rafe cameron #rafe outer banks #obx #jj maybank #x reader fics #x black reader #x plus size reader #x asian reader

[violetrainbow412-blog]

Andy [S. R.]

Spencer Reid x fem!reader

Word count: 2.7k

summary: you and Spencer have to learn to deal with grief without losing your marriage in the process.

warnings: grief, death, angst with unhappy ending, separation, divorce, alcoholism, minor details of a murder, two totally different points of view (don't hate Spencer or the reader)

The set of keys jangled in Spencer's hands, who was struggling to open the door without dropping the shopping bags in his other hand. He tried to do the shopping with only healthy and non-hazardous things and lately he had started bringing some of your favorite sweets, hoping this might cheer you up in some way. 

When he entered, he assumed that you were asleep, as always, so he thought of going directly to the kitchen to place the food in the corresponding spaces, thinking that maybe after that he would clean up the place a bit. He never expected to find you sitting in the dining room and both of you were startled to see the opposite. There was half a bottle of wine in front of you, you were puffy-eyed and carefully holding a photo that Spencer recognized perfectly. He noticed that you had lost some weight and you noticed the same characteristic in him, coupled with the marked bags under his eyes that evidenced the lack of rest. But in fairness, he hadn't had a decent night's sleep in a while.

"What are you doing here?"

“I brought groceries,” he reported, though it was obvious. Spencer reached over to the fridge to rearrange things and he noticed that almost all of last week's food were there. The milk was out of date, some of the vegetables were blackened, and there were a couple of bottles of alcohol that he definitely hadn't bought for you but always turned up there. He brought the garbage can closer and began to get rid of the rotten food, replacing it with the contents of the bags. "You have to eat something, there are things in here that you didn't even touch."

“And that's why I insist that you don't bring so much. Don't waste your money”

“It's not about the money. It's about you” he said in a stern voice and when he turned to look at you, he noticed that you weren't even looking at him.

He continued to organize things in the fridge while out of the corner of his eye he watched you take occasional gulps straight from the bottle. Before, it was the task of both of you to put the purchases in the cupboards and it had become a habit, because he liked to make you suffer with the high spaces of the cupboard just to accommodate things himself and take the opportunity to steal a kiss, which you always complained about.

He was so lost in memories that he couldn't understand you when you muttered something and then he asked you to repeat it.

"We promised to take him to Disneyland," you said, your slurred words a clear sign of drunkenness. You were holding a picture of Andy's 6th birthday: he was blowing out the candles while you and Spencer held him on either side, grinning from ear to ear. You had bought some green party hats, Andy's favorite, for the three of you to wear and the cake was a dinosaur, your son's absolute obsession “Somehow he found out they were going to have a Cretaceous world attraction and he was dying to go. We told him that when we had vacations, we would take him and to comfort him we bought him an illustrated book."

He perfectly remembered what you were telling him and a lump formed in his throat. That book was kept carefully on the small shelf in his room, along with the figures that multiple people had given him and with which he loved to play, since neither of you had had the heart to move a single object that was there.

Spencer was silent because he simply didn't know how to respond to what you had just reminded him, but he couldn't help but his stomach turned at the thought of your little boy. Although two months had passed, he hadn't even allowed himself to talk about what happened, and very rarely did he think about your son. Not because he didn't want to do it, but because he felt that if he did, things were going to completely collapse and he wasn't in a position to let that happen, not when he had so many responsibilities to fulfill.

Receiving no response, you tried to drink again, but Spencer didn't take more than a second to cross over to you to take the wine from your hands.

"Stop"

"Give it to me," you defended, standing up to try to take your drink back, but he held it just far enough out of your reach.

"You cannot continue that way"

"That's none of your business"

“Of course it is. You are my wife and I care about you."

Spencer hated the way you looked at him since that night. He felt that you were looking at him with contempt, as if he wasn't even worth your eyes on him, as if you had stopped loving him completely. And now you were looking at him like that while he was holding the alcohol you'd been drowning in for the past few weeks. 

"I don't need your pity" you practically spat, standing in front of him, but at a safe distance.

He didn't want to answer anything, for fear of hurting you in some way, so he just went to the sink to start emptying the contents of the bottle. Of course you squealed in offense at what he was doing and just headed for the fridge to get something else to drink, but before you could Spencer got in the way.

"You need help" he murmured, with a tone that reflected nothing more than the desperation he was going through. You looked at him, from below, with the same disdain that completely broke his heart "You are not okay"

"How do you expect me to be okay? I lost my son"

"He was our son," he said, suddenly sounding quite angry. It was so rare for him to get angry, much less when it came to you, but these two months had been too much to bear "Do you think I don't suffer the same as you?"

"No, I honestly don't think so. We never talked about this, Spencer, we just cried profusely at the funeral and then you carried on like nothing happened. All this time you have seemed so calm that I doubt very much that it will affect you”

“You are so wrong. You don't even know what you're talking about. Do you think it's easy for me? I have to go and work in a place where I see murderers and dead bodies all the time so that both of us can eat, pay the mortgage and basically keep our economy afloat because you decided to sink into depression and drink like a barrel without background"

“Oh, do you really want to talk about addiction problems? Because I don't think you're the best fit for that."

"Unlike you, I have not relapsed"

"Okay, then forgive me for being a weak dueling drunk."

“It's not about that, it's about the fact that you don't want anyone to help you. I hired a therapist that you decided not to go to, I have bought you everything you need in recent weeks, I have even stopped sleeping in my own house, all so that you feel calm”

"I never asked you for that, don't justify with it the fact that you wanted to leave"

"Well, maybe I left because every time I come here to check on you, you ignore me and look at me as if it was all my fault"

"Maybe it was"

"What did you say?"

"I said maybe it was" you exclaimed, now a little louder to make sure he heard you. You didn't mean any of that, you really didn't, it was just all the alcohol speaking for you “It was yours and it was my fault that man took our son from us. We should have done more"

“How, Y/N? Please explain to me how you want that, because I honestly don't understand you."

"Well maybe I should have been a better mother, because if I had been I should be dead instead of him" at this point it was useless to try to stop your crying. You were tired, dizzy, and hurt. You just wanted the whole nightmare to end “Spencer that man killed Andy just because you provoked him and you know it perfectly. He wanted revenge on you and decided that the best way to do it was to kidnap an innocent child and then kill him and then simply throw him on the side of the road. He could have hidden the body, but he wanted you to find it. He wanted us both to know that we couldn't question him like that without suffering the consequences."

"And that's why you see me as the cause of all your suffering?" tears had also started to roll down the man's cheeks, who was just as bad at holding them back as you were “Y/N I had to go identify Andy's body. I had to see him in a morgue, bruised and…” suddenly his voice broke completely. He had never told you things because he didn't want to stress you out anymore, but he felt that after everything that was happening there was no point in continuing to protect you “I barely knew it was him. He was completely deformed, I only recognized him by that scar he got on his knee when he fell from the swings and as soon as my fingers passed through it and felt the frozen skin I was completely destroyed. I had… I had to see my little boy in that state just so we both would have peace and yet you dare to say that I don't care."

“If you didn't have that job none of this would have happened to begin with! That has always been the problem, that as a family we had to compete with your work as a profiler”

"So you expected me to give up my life's work overnight?"

"I did. I quit my job to be able to raise our son.”

"And I had to stay in mine to be able to give him everything he needed"

“And look at us now. What of that did we do well? We weren't good parents and now I don't even think we're a good couple”

You two knew that this conversation was useless. You always knew Spencer went to superhuman lengths to spend time with your family, and you couldn't blame him for anything. He knew everything you had given up to take care of the housework and raise Andy. And when there were bad days, you were there for each other, but at that very moment you weren’t thinking straight. Your judgment was clouded by the pressing pain that was building up.

 “Y/N, why are you doing this to me?” his voice sounded so sincere and wounded, that even with the unconsciousness caused by the alcohol you felt a pull in your heart. Spencer was silent for a moment, a lump in his throat, and when he finally got up the courage he spoke again, “When Andy died I thought… I was devastated. I am devastated. But even with everything I thought that… I thought that I still had you. I thought together we could get through this and now you're telling me you're not even sure this is working. I try to take care of you, but you refuse to eat, you refuse to go to a therapist, you drink and sleep all day and I don't know what else to do."

"I just want you to be here, Spencer."

"I am"

"No, it's not true"

“I am supporting you, I do everything in my power to make sure you are well”

“But I don't want you to take care of me like someone sick, I just want you to be my husband! I just want you to stop pretending nothing is happening, just sit here and cry with me... I don't want you to support me, I want you to love me”

Both of you looked at each other for a second, your vision blurred by accumulated tears.

“Every day I wake up and I am strong just because I love you. You are the one who seems to no longer love me"

How could things work when the two of you offered such different things and needed such different things? Spencer thought you didn't love him anymore, you thought he didn't love you anymore, and neither of you knew what to do about it. You wanted him to be there but not the way he did and that's why you pushed him away. He walked away because he thought you didn't want him with you anymore.

But those were things none of you understood, and probably no one could. Mourning was a complicated, heartbreaking, but above all confusing process.

And, as much as he evaded reality, Spencer knew that it was a matter of time before you two broke up permanently. He knew the statistics; he knew that a large number of couples divorced after the death of a child and the numbers were more decisive than his hopes of maintaining the marriage with you. So, if these were the conversations you guys were having at one of the few times you saw each other, perhaps the threat of disbandment was closer than he imagined.

Suddenly the ringing of your husband's phone rang and you could tell by the look on his face what kind of text it was.

"A case" you guessed bitterly "It's always a case, right?"

A part of you desperately hoped that he would ignore the message, come up to you with an apology, and tell you that he would stay right there with you. But the utopian version your mind created didn't look like the real situation at all, where he just gave you a pained look from behind those teary eyes.

"I promise I'll be back. I'll come and… we can talk about all this when we're calmer. We can try to fix it, things don't have to be that way."

“But that's how they are,” you muttered, shrugging, as another message rang on Spencer's phone.

You wanted to tell him that if he really wanted to make things right with you he'd send the FBI to hell and stay there to talk, but you held back because you simply thought it was useless to do that. You were tired, so you were just going to let it go; you told him to come back whenever he wanted, without much interest in when that would be, and new dizziness hit your head from the decision you had just made.

You didn't push him away when he approached to hold your face, with a softness that surprised you, and he left you a kiss on the forehead, one of those you'd received thousands of but now it felt so strange to share.

The case dragged on into the next day, and the entire time Spencer pondered your words. Maybe he was right about some things, but you are right about others too. Perhaps if you tried to understand each other things could improve and if both of you reached an agreement little by little you would return to being a married couple and not just two people going through the loss of a child. It was worth stopping avoiding the problem and facing it to be able to be not only with you, but also for you. 

When he got home, the silence made him think that you were resting, and he still wanted to be able to lie next to you to simply hug you without saying anything. In a matter of a few seconds, so many nights passed through his mind in which he had loved you, in which you had feared and he had protected you, and those in which you had been immensely happy talking for hours until the sun bathed your face. You hadn't shared a decent kiss since Andy's funeral and suddenly the need to taste your lips became urgent, not to satisfy itself but to tell you how much he loved you. He had been an idiot these months, too busy not to break down to realize what was falling around him.

But upon reaching the room and turning on the light, all his hopes were shattered by a half-empty closet, a bed without you and a letter resting on the nightstand.

taglist: @navs-bhat @reidwritings @tricia-shifting14

#spencer reid #spencer reid fanfic #spencer reid x reader #criminal minds #criminal minds fanfic #dr spencer reid #matthew gray gubler #aaron hotchner #derek morgan #jason gideon #JJ #penelope garcía #david rossi #emily prentiss #spencer reid x you #spencer reid angst #heartbreaking angst

[jjtheresidentbaby]

HI HELLO HI HEARTBREAK HIGH AGERE OMG AAHH

do you have any regressor! Ant headcanons? no pressure if you don’t i’ve just kinda fallen in love with the headcanon hehe

- @beaistiny

Little Ant Vaughn headcanons

a/n: do I have regressor ant headcanons?? do I breathe air!! /lh /j also peep the new missy pfp

warnings: !!season 2 spoilers!!, references to bad parenting, drug use, etc (basically just canon stuff)

his little age can range from baby space to kiddo space, he doesn’t have a preference

baby space usually comes out involuntarily and after something more stressful but can also be used as a way to relax when he needs it

he’s so energetic when in kiddo space oml - always wants to be doing something, playing outside, drawing, dancing, it really doesn’t matter he just wants to be moving and engaging in an activity

to no shock, spider is the first person ant regresses around, back when the trio of ant, spider & dusty was still going strong ant always felt more comfortable with spider so he found it easier to slip around spider

the first time he regressed in front of spider it was not planned and was a bit hectic

spider thought ant was on drugs, ant was overwhelmed as spider desperately tried to “sober him up” by shoving water bottles into his hands and freaking out even more when ant struggled to hold & drink from them (he’s just a lil guy!!)

they figure it out eventually and spider is able to google what age regression is

he might spend too much time on google but sue him that’s his best friend!!

eventually ant becomes more comfortable with his regression and isn’t as secretive about it

dusty is oblivious. but harper & missy & sasha clock him within five seconds

cue three new babysitters!

harper watches over him a lot when she’s dating dusty and then when dusty leaves she keeps up with the schedule

her & spider kind of trade off like divorced parents lol

speaking of ants parents, they suck so bad & he hates being at home in general but especially if he’s regressed

after cash & harper move in together he spends a lot of nights crashing at their place, regressed or not

he has his own designated dresser in Harper’s room, it’s small but holds some extra clothes and any little gear he has

since amerie & malakai are over so much they find out about ants regression and instantly go “omg the babyyyy” and spoil him as much as two broke teenagers can

cash will babysit but he prefers it if darren is at his side while he does, they watch a lot of movies together to avoid any possible chaos without harper or spider around

missy gets back into babysitting regularly when she starts to date spider, they are so good with him & take him on lil kiddo trips

lots of arcade visits, beach trips, going out to get ice cream with some of the others, the aquarium & zoo (which they always invite quinni on)

ant dosent have a lot of little gear but he has some teethers (oral fixation go brr) and fidget toys

stress balls are banned though cause he’ll bite them and pop them open

he has a plethora of fidget spinners and hot wheels and army men that he’s constantly messing around with

he likes things he can easily slip into his pocket and carry around whenever

the sugar tooth this kid has is unmatched

all the candy and sweets are limited when he’s regressed, nobody can really do anything when he’s big tho

loves to make forts in harpers room and set up a mini projector so they can have movie nights

he’s very cuddly in general but especially with harper and spider

spider’s able to carry him around if ant wants and harper is so gentle and soft with him it makes him feel safer than he does with basically anyone else

#jj headcanons #heartbreak high agere #little!ant vaughn #ant vaughn

[icapturedthecastle]

Outer Banks 107 - Dead Calm / Outer Banks: Lights Out by Alyssa Sheinmel

#Outer Banks #OBX #JJ Maybank #Rudy Pankow #Gary Weeks #Luke Maybank #OBX Netflix #cw: child abuse #Alyssa Sheinmel #did ya'll know that there's a prequel novel told from 50% JJ's POV and it's filled with the most heartbreaking shit you'll ever read

[painfulrant]

Could I get a JJ fic based of diet mountain dew by Lana del ray <3

Thank uuu

Here you are, love! I hope you enjoy. ❤️

Diet Mountain Dew by Lana Del Rey

JJ maybank x Reader

Angst!!!!

Requested ❤️

You’re no good for me

Baby, you’re no good for me

You’re no good for me

But baby, I want you, I want…

The shadows, it seemed lately, have been the only consistent thing much like the light the sun generously gifts us. Yet with each ray and with each shadow, you found yourself barely surviving. Sitting alone at a table that used to be the both of yours, you stirred the diet mountain dew sitting in front of you. You haven’t touched it… tasted it. You just simply sat, stirring lost to your own memories.

Diet Mountain Dew, baby, New York City

Never was there ever a girl so pretty

Do you think we’ll be in love forever?

Do you think we’ll be in love?

You allowed yourself a small miserable smile while you pondered whether the love you held for him would ever leave. It certainly didn’t feel like it. You weren’t sad… nor were you angry. You were empty and somehow, in some way, that was worse than any other feelings. The break up was still fresh in your mind.

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Can we hit it now low down and gritty?

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

The feeling of his hands and lips against your skin seemed to be constantly there. No matter how often you wash. No matter how many times you sat in the bath or stood in the shower, sobbing and trying to scrub his scent… his touch away. He didn’t love you anymore and the idea that you were even carrying one part of him with you when he obviously wasn’t made you nauseous with sorrow and grief. Yet, even as you lay broken in the water that ran over your skin, almost as though it were trying to sooth you, you knew you carried a love for him that no one could take. Not even yourself.

Baby, put on heart shaped sunglasses

'Cause we gonna take a ride

I'm not gonna listen to what the past says

I've been waiting up all night

Your thoughts were soon interrupted by someone who sat across from you. The way her eyes were shielded and basically held heart in them, you knew that she was taken and she was very happy to be taken. She gently pushed your diet mountain dew closer to you with a sad smile, having known with one look that you now experienced what both of you were dreading. Offering a small smile, you sipped the diet mountain dew trying to ignore the past whispering and playing in your head. You haven’t slept well in weeks and last night wasn’t the first night that you just decided to give up on sleep.

Take another drag turn me to ashes

Ready for another lie?

Says he's gonna teach me just what fast is

Say it's gonna be alright

When you were half way done with the diet mountain dew, you heard the chime of someone entering the nearly empty wreck. Glancing up, you felt your heart turn to ashes, everything becoming numb when you saw him with her. JJ and Kiara stood in front of you, having not noticed you yet. You knew without a doubt that this wasn’t new… but you weren’t ready for the pretty lies he would surely offer if he did indeed spot you. The last words he muttered to you brought a shocking humorous laugh to your lips. You suppose he really did teach you what fast was, for he seemed to move on pretty d*mn quickly.

“It’s gonna be alright, kotes.” Sierra muttered from across the table, staring at you as though she felt and shared the pain that was threatening to blow the ashes to your burned out heart away.

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Never was there ever a girl so pretty

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

Slowly sipping on the diet mountain dew, you didn’t try to stop the nauseating feeling from emerging once more. Unbeknown to you, every man in the room kept his eyes on you, whether it be because they cared or because they truly thought you were the most beautiful women they’ve seen. Yet the one person you truly wanted and loved, did not want or love you back. You stood and moved to walk to the bathroom, the churning growing worse with the sudden movements.

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Can we hit it now low down and gritty

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

You paused upon seeing the same lips that had touched every part of your body, kissing the women who you had thought was your best friend. The sickness increased and that was when you realized that for the first time since the breakup, the tears were surely flowing. Lord knows you held all the pain and tears inside, letting it rot you from the inside out. Letting it fester into a nothing void that filled your chest and made it impossible to cry… until now. You found yourself asking if you’d truly ever be able to get over him or if this love you carried would always be with you.

Let's take Jesus off the dashboard

Got enough on his mindㅤ

We both know just what we're here for

Saved too many times

You ripped the cross necklace off, letting the sobs rack your body, not caring if anyone heard. You knew he couldn’t hear it but even if he could, he has enough on his mind that he wouldn’t give two glances towards the painful choking sounds leaving his last love. We both knew we were here to forget the pain he caused you and him to be able to move on and be with her happily. Part of you wished he’d swoop in and save the day as you had allowed him to too many times before. The other part of you whispered to you that he never would again and that you were wasting tears and emotion on someone undeserving of either.

Maybe I like this roller coaster

Maybe it keeps me high

Maybe the speed it brings me closer

I could sparkle up your eye

However, that’s when the nausea heightened to a new unbearable level, almost as though you were on a roller coaster. One you seemed to like, nonetheless. It allowed you to feel. To feel disgust and hurt. Maybe this was the only way to keep feelings, almost as though you were on an emotion high that you could only get from having your heart shredded, burned, crushed, and blown away in the wind. All by the same male. The wind would make beautiful colors, no doubt and you knew it would resemble the happiness you once felt.

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Never was there ever a girl so pretty

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Can we hit it now low down and gritty?

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

After having emptied your already pretty empty stomach, you sat against the cool wall and let yourself cry until you had no tears left. Until the aching in your chest dulled down to a study rhythm of painful throbs. Until your tear stained cheek had dried enough that it wouldn’t make your face break out. Until you felt your mind finally ease with the exhaustion that laid upon it.

You're no good for me

Baby, you're no good for me

You're no good for me

But baby, I want you, I want you

You're no good for me

Baby, you're no good for me

You're no good for me

But baby, I want you, I want you, I want you

You wouldn’t admit out loud that you still wished he was here. That you still wished he were yours. You would let yourself think it through. You would let yourself feel before you had to put on the mask of happiness and have to put on your big girl pants. You’d admit to yourself that you still so desperately wanted and missed him. That every second without him, you felt your heart detach more and more from reality, your sanity slowly slipping away while you tried to convince everyone of something you didn’t want to convince them of. That you were okay. That you weren’t slowly and surely falling apart and that you didn’t fall in a hole so deep and dark, you weren’t sure if you could claw your way back out.

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Never was there ever a girl so pretty

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

Baby, stoppin' at 7-Eleven

There in his white Pontiac heaven

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Never was there ever a girl so pretty

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

Diet mountain dew, baby, New York City

Can we hit it now low down and gritty?

Do you think we'll be in love forever?

Do you think we'll be in love?

After a while, you just sat there staring blankly at the wall, feeling nothing at all but the exhaustion that threatened to make your eyelids finally fall. You felt a weird sense of calmness… one that brought nothing but allowed you to finally breathe. You would be okay.

You're no good for me

Baby, you're no good for me

You're no good for me

But baby, I want you, I want

You're no good for me

Baby, you're no good for me

You're no good for me

But baby, I want you, I want

You're no good for me

Baby, you're no good for me

You're no good for me

But baby, I want you, I want

You would be okay because all though you wanted the only man to ever break your heart in more ways than you knew were possible, you knew that he wouldn’t and could never love you in that sense again. You knew that you would be okay because when you look around you, you realize there were still people who cared. People you couldn’t let down. You knew you’d be okay because you didn’t have any other option then to be okay. So you smiled softly, stood up and looked at yourself in the mirror. You didn’t recognize yourself but the calmness you felt gave you enough confidence to smile once more to the mirror. To the women inside it. Finally, you turned and headed back out to finish your diet mountain dew, paying the waitress for the extra wait and allowing Sierra to lead you out the door without looking back once. Even when your heart screamed and pleaded with you to turn around and go to him. It would be alright. You would be okay.

#outer banks #jj mayback imagine #jj maybank #jj maybank x reader #jj obx #sad thoughts #angst #love #heartbreak #tw depressing thoughts #diet mountain dew #lana del ray lyrics #request

[leixinyus]

#aj chayapol #jj chayakorn #home school #home school the series #thai drama #manydramagifs #tdramaedit #mok averting his eyes the moment mek makes eye-contact with him is so heartbreaking #like it's too overwhelming to see his brother so distraught and emotional #and he simultaneously stops comforting mek because he also got more emotional seeing the absolute despair in his brother's eyes #but the way he doesn't take his eyes off mek *until* that moment they make eye-contact is just so bittersweet #like their parents kept this immense love in them locked up for their entire childhood? that is so messed up #and they probably always had such affection for each other #but it was snuffed out by their parents (specifically their father) who insisted on pitting them against each other #and to think that the moments they feel freer to express their love for each other now #are ones in which not having each other's presence and love would quite probably destroy them #also it probably wasn't a conscious choice but i absolutely love that because of mek's hairstyle we as viewers can't really see his eyes #it makes this moment between them so much more personal and private #it's like 'oh yeah the depth of their sadness is something that only they get to see and share and understand' #and gosh it's so beautiful

[marluvvs]

WHAT ABOUT A JJ AND KIE FIC THEY FALL IN LOVE BUT POPE CANT STAND THEM. THEY STOP BEFORE THEH GET TOO ATTACHED BUT THEY CANT HELP BUT STILL BE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER!! 🫢

Secret feelings

a/n: Hope this was up to your expectations! I really like this concept ❤️

JJ, had always admired Kiara, from afar. They had been friends for years, but it wasn't until recently that he began to see her in a different light. He found himself drawn to her smile, her infectious laugh, and her kind heart. He couldn't help but feel that he was falling in love with her.

However, there was a problem. Pope, their close friend, was also in love with Kiara. He had never told anyone about his feelings, but JJ could sense that there was something between Pope and Kiara that went beyond mere friendship. JJ didn't want to hurt his friend, so he kept his feelings to himself and tried to ignore the attraction he felt towards Kiara.

But Kiara could sense that something was off with JJ. She could tell that he was holding something back, and she wanted to know what it was. She confronted him one day and asked him what was going on. JJ hesitated for a moment, but then he finally confessed his feelings to her.

Kiara was shocked but also flattered. She had never thought of JJ in a romantic way before, but now that he had told her how he felt, she couldn't help but feel a spark of attraction towards him too. However, she was also worried about Pope. She knew that he had feelings for her, and she didn't want to hurt him.

When Pope found out about JJ's feelings for Kiara, he was crushed. He had always thought that he had a chance with her, but now it seemed like she was interested in someone else. He tried to hide his disappointment, but JJ could tell that something was wrong.

JJ and Kiara decided that they needed to take a step back and figure out what they wanted. They didn't want to hurt Pope or ruin their friendship. They agreed to stop before they got too attached and tried to maintain their friendship as it was.

However, even though they tried to ignore their feelings, they couldn't help but still be attracted to each other. They found themselves stealing glances and lingering touches whenever they were around each other. It was clear that there was still a strong connection between them.

Pope noticed the tension between JJ and Kiara and felt even more hurt. He couldn't help but feel jealous and disappointed that he had missed his chance with her. He tried to distance himself from the two of them, but it was hard. They had all been friends for so long, and they still had a strong bond despite the awkwardness of the situation.

In the end, JJ and Kiara decided that they couldn't deny their feelings any longer. They talked to Pope about what was going on and apologized for any hurt they may have caused. It was a difficult conversation, but in the end, they were all able to move past it and remain friends.

JJ and Kiara started dating, and even though it was a bit awkward at first, they were happy together. They were grateful for their friendship with Pope and knew that it would always be important to them. They learned that sometimes, even when things get complicated, it's possible to work through them with open communication and a willingness to listen to each other's perspectives.

#jiara obx #outer banks #jj x kiara #pope #the other guy #romantic #heartbreak #lovers

[bellswlw]

this song isn’t on spotify and it’s homophobic i think

#like it ISSS but not THIS version #it’s #heartbreaking #so someone tell me how to add songs onto spotify RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thx #jj’s radio ‣

[kiekiecarrera]

can we talk again about 3x04 again, how badly they wanted to kiss, how Kie was slowly approaching him as a way not to scare him off, how when she got to close u could hear him taking a breath because he was freaking out. U could literally see him putting his walls back up after they were brought down for a brief sec when she told him "not bad weird". DAMN. Rudy's acting in a lot of their scenes were spot on in conveying how jj felt and dont get me started on Madison, she absolutely killed it.

We can always talk about 3x04, because every single jiara moment in that episode hits perfectly :') There's so much so see in that scene, and right now what gets me the most is how broken kie looks when he pulls away, like her eyes start following him and then when he's behind her the way she looks down and how small her voice is when she says if you say so. Like this scene was about JJ's angst but my heart really broke for her, and then she was trying so hard to get through to him. Like omg the angst really really really delivered in that scene.

#answered #anonymous #and then he called her kook and i know he was trying to push her away but to hear that from the person whose opinion she rates the highest #it's just so heartbreaking #jiara #otp; did you tell jj

[multifandombullshitbabes]

oh god i just watched maeve's death episode. oh god. no. i knew what was gonna happen and yet here i am heart fucking broken, oh my god

#criminal minds #hey look i posted a thing #why cant reid have nice things #also the dynamic between the team and reid in this ep is so sweet and so heartbreaking #they just. love the fuck out of him #no questions asked drop everything help reid NOW #and their reactions to maeves death?? alex's closed eyed acceptance? jj's pure shock and grief? the worry on everyones faces #like????? its just so fucking tragic and they know it. they all understood that in those seconds and its so. so fucking unfair #im not well at all rn :(((

[midnightsgetawaycar]

I hate how JJ is so You’re on Your Own Kid coded 😔

#he deserves so much better #outer banks #jj maybank #jj is beyond coded for YOYOK like it’s so freaking heartbreaking

[maybankiara]

me: i’m not writing angsty fics anymore also me: “kiara met her soulmate at his funeral.”

#d.tag #listen this fic is heartbreak galore and it turns out i am living for it #since jj can't #</3 #d.writes

[roxiestranger19]

my entire fyp is taylor swift and i’ve realized that i’ve been sleeping on her for so long

#her songs are so nostalgic for me but i just haven’t gotten into it #miss americana and the heartbreak prince #is SO jiara coded #bad bad girl #kiara?? #heartbreak prince is literally jj #like hello? #listened to taylor swift essentials on apple music and i have not been the same

[jjtheresidentbaby]

Sorry to all caps at you but HARPER HBH PLEAS /gen /nf

Little Harper McLean headcanons

a/n: you didn’t specify if you wanted little or caregiver so hope you don’t mind me choosing for you

warnings: !!season 2 spoilers!!, talk of canon things (ie drug use, partying, etc), malakai never left <3

she doesn’t figure out she regresses til season 2 when she’s living with cash in her own space

it’s involuntary at first and she doesn’t even realize she’s regressed, just brushing it off as being extra tried or that the weed she smoked is making her act different

cash is actually the one that brings up that she might be regressing, he’s nervous telling her and gives her a whole list from his notes app on why he things it’s regression

she’s so taken back but sees every point that he makes

cue them going on a mini research binge together

she doesn’t talk about her regression with anyone at first, still trying to get used to it herself and whatnot

eventually quinni notices something’s off and asks her if she’s alright- the stumbling response of “oh yeah I’m fine” harper gives isn’t believable at all so they end up talking about it

quinni helps harper tell amerie as she was worried it’d mess things up between them

amerie of course takes it well but she’s also super confused so they spend awhile explaining things

harper’s headspace is definitely more in the smaller range, she likes teethers & pacifiers & soft toys she can cuddle into

her childhood was rough and her teenage years have been- worse. so stuffed animals and fleece blankets and nice pajamas are a big deal to her

she likes to regress at night for a bit before she goes to bed but might slip after school if something stressful happens

cash watches over her the most for obvious reasons, but also he’s comfortable with her and she’s comfortable with him so it works really nice

darren helps out a lot more when they settle back into living with cash & harper

cash & darren will do just about anything harper wants when she’s small (cash especially tho, he caves at the first glimpse of puppy dog eyes)

she’s got a box of monster high dolls from when she was a kid that she loves to play with

she drags amerie and malakai into playing dolls frequently as they make up the best storylines

she almost never regresses anywhere but at home but occasionally she’ll slip at amerie’s place or quinni’s since she’s comfortable there

amerie may or may not fall back into bodyguard mode™️ when she finds out harper regresses

thankfully malakai’s there to calm that down

nobody ever really sits malakai down and tells him that harper regresses or what regression is he just came over one day and there she was. little. and nobody else was batting an eye so he wasn’t either

months later at a party malakai brings this up to harper and firstly, she laughs, but secondly she gives him a link to a google doc quinni made explaining age regression but also listing specifics about harper’s regression and anyone else in the group that might be a little

malakai babysits a lot more after that

him & missy like to take harper on hikes when she’s feeling more like a kiddo

malakai usually carries one of the girls back down the hike on his back- it always switches back and forth between missy & harper

she has her whole friend group come over for big sleepovers when she’s regressed and absolutely loves it

she keeps a small plush in her backpack at all times and sometimes takes it out to use as a pillow if she’s putting her head down on a table/desk

holds hands with someone at all times if they’re out in public

going out when she’s regressed makes her really anxious so she avoids it if she can- everyone’s very understanding and will go grab something from the store for her or whatever she needs so she can stay home

#jj headcanons #heartbreak high agere #little!harper mclean #harper mclean

[reiderwriter]

I’ve watching the episode where Reid kisses the actress. Could you write a fic where the reader is in the BAU and is best friends with Reid but has a secret crush on Reid which is obvious to everyone on the team but Reid and she is so jealous of the actress and the teams teases her about it?

A/N: Hello! Thanks for the request, I hope you enjoy it~♡

Warnings: none, hints of bi-reader, but like...come on.

Masterlist

Your “too obvious, plain as day, nearly embarrassing” schoolgirl crush on Spencer Reid was taking too long to fizzle out naturally. 

When you'd met the man, and your heart fluttered, you knew you'd have to go through the motions: you'd hope, grow fonder of the man, dream about him, then cringe, get ick, and ultimately you'd achieve the ultimate crush death. 

You were stuck somewhere between hope and dream, still, and had taken a wrong turn somewhere leading to nearly Hozier-levels of desperate longing. 

5 months assisting the BAU as a press liaison, working as JJ's assistant on more public facing cases had landed you here. 

And what better case for you to spread your wings on than one in Los Angeles itself, starring the famous Lila Archer. 

When Gideon and Reid had called the case in, you'd been eager not to seem too eager. You'd never been out of Quantico on a case before, usually shacking up in an office to shout down phone lines as reporters on the press room floor telling them they were scum of the earth for sensationalizing murder. JJ had obviously taught you to have a more nuanced conversation that that, but your inner thoughts were still allowed. 

But LA was a different kettle of fish, and Hotch appreciated that. It didn't quite help that you visibly perked up when you heard Reid himself had a hand in calling it into the team. A high-school classmate and a jet ride later, you were excited and ready to greet Spencer Reid. And Lila Archer. 

She was so pretty it was intimidating to even breathe the same air as her, a magnetism that drew everyone in the room closer to her just as Spencer drew you towards him. 

You tried not to see the obvious attraction the two had to each other, but the bile rose in your throat every time you thought about the case. The sour twinge of jealousy became a constant on the case, as your efforts to save Lila from her stalker also pushed her closer and closer to Spencer. 

And that wasn't even accounting for the fact that you'd suddenly become tongue-tied around them.

Spencer had asked you multiple times how you were enjoying your first time out in the field, and the most you could muster was a nod and a stammered “it's been good, I guess.”

With Lila, it was worse. You couldn't even tell her your name, and had overheard her politely asking Reid for it a few times every time you'd dropped coffee off in their vicinity. 

Your school girl crush was hitting the first heartbreak road bump at full speed, and dear god, you were not ready for the car crash. 

You tried to psych yourself out of it, to clear your mind and remain professional, but one tabloid cover after wrapping the case ended that for you completely. 

“Whooo, Spencer, my man! I knew you were a pretty boy, I didn't know you had game like that!” 

The tabloid had been dropped on his desk by Derek loudly and had quickly drawn a crowd when they'd seen the resulting red flush from the man of the hour. 

He'd snatched up the gossip rag pretty quickly, but not before you'd gotten a glimpse of the cover. You recognised Lila’s pool, then Lila herself, then the man she was passionately making out with as you felt your heart crack in two. 

You'd stuck like a fly on the wall and quietly joined in the teasing as you swallowed all of your ugly emotions at once. 

“And in the pool, too, Spencer, that's crazy. Look at Y/N. She can't believe it herself!” You forced a small giggle past your lips and hoped the others couldn't tell how fake it was. You stuck out a few more minutes of conversation before nearly running back to JJ's, thankfully empty office. 

The tears were silent. 

You berated yourself for even letting them fall. An unrequited love wasn't the end of the world - especially considering you had to work with Reid, see him every day. 

It took you months to get over it. Not that you ever fully managed it.

You simply told yourself that you'd never felt that way in the first place, gaslighting yourself into believing there was no feelings and thus no heartbreak. 

After a month of haunting the office with your general gloom, you got into the flow of it and truly convinced yourself you were over it. 

And you were until everyone started talking about it all over again. 

“Spencer, I heard your lady friend is going to be in a real blockbuster soon. Congrats!” Morgan clapped the man on the shoulder as he walked past, discarding his coat at his desk as he arrived for work. 

You gripped your coffee mug slightly tighter as you wished the conversation would blow over. 

“Reid has a lady friend? Oh, please do not spare the details,” Emily jumped in, eager to integrate herself into the team now that she was in it. 

“You know that actress, Lila Archer? We babysat her on a case a couple of months back, and she took quite the liking to our little genius-” 

“Morgan, stop-” Reid groaned, flushing yet again at the mention of the whole scenario. 

“Okay, I'll back off,” the older man said quickly. “If you can tell me honestly, you don't still have that tabloid cover in the second draw of your desk.”

You tried to stand and walk away from the conversation without drawing any attention to yourself, but the tension in your body left you stiff and less than graceful. You tripped on the corner of your desk on your way out but didn't pause to even listen to the others' call after you in your haste to clear the venom burning in your throat. 

You were fine and happy to ignore your emotions, but you realized then that kind of tactics would only work if everybody else managed to avoid them, too. 

You calmed your pace to a wall and took a series of deep breaths, trying to rationalize your departure to yourself. 

“I'm busy. There's some files I need to pull anyway, so I'm just going to file storage. That's why I left my desk. That's all, I'm fine.” 

Your small pep talk didn't rewrite history, though, and you still felt a cloud of envy following you around.

He kept her picture. In his drawer. 

Truth be told, you weren't expecting it to hurt this bad. 

You heard footsteps come up behind you, so you quickly ducked into the empty elevator, not quite ready to face anyone yet. A hand caught it just as you were about to be left alone, though, and Spencer joined you in the elevator. 

You weren't exactly shocked to see him. He'd been just as uncomfortable with the topic of conversation as you had, if not more so. You just wished you hadn't been in the same place now. 

“Sorry, I need some files.” 

Great, you were going to the same place as well. You just nodded slightly and gave him a tight-lipped smile as you travelled down to the place you'd both chosen as an escape. 

“Back there, you left…” Spencer started, fidgeting awkwardly next to you in the elevator.

“You left pretty abruptly.”

“I remembered I needed some files.’

“Right, right…”

The silence that stretched between you was thick and suffocating, and you begged the elevator to move faster. 

“I don't, by the way.” He spoke up again, awkwardly clearing his throat before continuing. “I don't still have that tabloid. There is a picture in that drawer, but it's not…that one.” 

“A different picture of Lila, then?’ You tried to keep your tone light, but even while trying your hardest, you couldn't keep the bitterness out of your tone.

The elevator reached its destination, but you both held back for a few seconds, and neither of you was quite sure what to say anymore. 

“She kissed me, you know.” Spencer said, facing you now, pinning you in place with his attention. 

“Yes, Spencer. Well aware, I saw the photo, too.” 

“No.. no, I mean, she kissed me.” 

“Loud…loud and clear,” you said, raking a hand through your hair as you tried to drown out all of the noise. 

“Y/N, I don't think you're hearing me.” 

“Oh, and I should be paying attention to you recounting the time an actress decided you were worthy of your time and tried to mount you in a swimming pool? I need to hear about how her tongue felt being pushed down your throat?” 

The words jumped out of you, and you had no way to stop them once they started. Instead, you simply shoulder checked your way out of the still elevator and marched your way to the file room. 

“Y/N, I'm sorry, please just hear me out,” you heard Spencer calling out to you, but you didn't stop or turn around. 

“Y/N, I'm trying to explain, please just-” You heard him groan in frustration as you kept up your pace and felt slightly satisfied that he was having such a hard time. A solid hand on your wrist pulling you back wiped any smile you had on your face clean off, especially as you were pulled into a somewhat solid chest and a hand tipped your head up to meet his own. 

To say you hadn't imagined the moment that Spencer Reid kissed you for the first time would be a lie. You thought it would be sweet and small, an awkward peck if nothing else that led to giggles and more innocent chaste kisses and possibly an illusive hug. 

Instead, you were pushed back against the nearest wall, pinned up by your wrists, and robbed of all of your breath as Spencer kissed you until you were seconds from passing out. 

Even after you both came up from air, he released your wrists so he could angle your head back up to him, allowing him to deepen the kiss the second time around. 

Stunned was not the word. 

And though you were completely taken unaware by the kiss, that didn't mean you weren't eagerly reciprocating. 

You kept your wits about you as his tongue parted your lips, leaning into him as you savored the moment. 

It didn't stop the confusion after you finally broke apart, though. 

“What…the…fuck, Spencer?” You said between gasps, chest heaving. He let your wrists go awkwardly, hands trailing down to your waist as you rested yours on his shoulders.

“You weren't…listening. Needed a different strategy.” 

“Well, I'm all ears now.” 

He nodded and then took another moment to catch his breath before relinquishing you from his hold and putting a bit of space between you. 

“I didn't kiss Lila Archer. I didn't particularly want..to?” He cleared his throat and continued. 

“She kinda just grabbed me? And did it? There was a pool too, so I was trying not to choke on water and chlorine and hair everywhere. Like, she just grabbed me-” 

“Like you just did?” 

“Like I just… did, yeah, like that.” 

You weren't sure what to do or say anymore. So you just nodded and stood there, and so did he. 

“That's not to say that I didn't enjoy this kiss. It wasn't just to illustrate the point. It kind of was, in the sense that it helped you understand what happened before, and that I hope it will help you realize the point of this conversation-” 

“Which is?” 

“I like you.” He said, finally pausing his rambling to look you in the eyes. 

“I like you, and I didn't want you to misunderstand.” 

“Oh. Oh right.” 

You both stood there looking at each other and looking away in a loop, neither talking or breaking the silence until you both tried to. 

“What about y-” 

“Kiss me again.” 

Reid blinked at you a few more times, trying to work through your words. 

“Kiss me again” you repeated, stepping away from the wall and closer to Reid as he still just stared at you. 

“We're still working, what if someone walks past?” 

“Didn't stop you the first time.”

“But-”

You cut him off quickly, grabbing his tie and pulling him down to your level, locking lips with him again. 

When you again came up for breath, possibly much longer after the time a second kiss should last, both of you just laughed again. 

“I was jealous.” You said, looking up at him, ready to bare yourself to him now that he'd given a confession of his own. “Of Lila. Of you for being adored like that by someone so cool. But mostly of Lila.”

“Because?” 

“Because I like you, too,” you said, rolling your eyes at him. 

“Nice. Cool, that's great. I like that you like me, too. I like you, hey, I like us,” you cut off his rambling quickly with another small kiss and pulled away.

“So the picture?" You asked, backing away down the hall as he stood and watched you.

"Hmm?"

"The one in your desk."

"Oh," he said, scratching the back of his neck as the tips of his ears turned bright pink.

"Penelope gave me this picture from the Christmas party. It's, uh, me and you."

You smiled brightly before turning to leave, the bile of jealousy that had been consuming you turned magically to butterflies in the space of two kisses.

#spencer reid #criminal minds #spencer reid x reader #spencer reid fanfic #mgg #criminal minds fanfiction #criminal minds fandom #criminal minds self insert #spencer reid x reader fluff #spencer reid fluff #spencer reid x you #spencer reid x y/n

[mrs-weasley-reid]

Regrets Sting

Spencer Reid x bau!reader | part 1

part 2

Summary: You have always been there for Spencer. Turns out, he's never going to be there for you.

Warning: Angst.

A/N: one of my many drafts... enjoy 👀?

— ✿ — ✿— ✿ ✿ ✿

You love Dr. Spencer Reid.

As a colleague, a friend, and, well, a respected man.

Granted, you spent most of your days with a small herd of profilers, but you were great at hiding your feelings for him, if you do say so yourself.

You watched him smile awkwardly with love from one woman to the other. Then, there was Maeve. He was in love with her. You didn't need your profiling skills to lead to that conclusion.

It broke your heart when you heard Spencer's plea. It broke your heart when he couldn't even function properly. And your heart broke for him as you watched him fall on his knees, crying over Maeve.

So you chose friendship. You always have, after all.

You became his anchor. His support. His best friend.

You were there for him. You were there when he was ready to open up. You lent him your shoulder. You became his personal napkin, soaking up all his tears in the hopes that it would lessen the pain, even just a little bit. You kept him company, dragging him out of his apartment to bring him anywhere besides the gloom in his empty home.

And without him, or you, knowing, you gave him your heart. You were in love with Dr. Spencer Reid.

It made you feel guilty, but it was inevitable. Who would've known you could fall deeper than you already were? Not even you, apparently.

And yet, you remained the person he could cry on for two years. You pawned him a shoulder for a long, drawn-out two years. Shoving your feelings in the back of your mind as if it wasn't anything important to you.

The deeper you fell for him, the faster the team caught up with your feelings.

JJ figured it out first when she saw the ends of your hair as you walked in Spencer's apartment the first year of Maeve's death. Spencer had been unresponsive to everyone, but not to you. You managed to get him to open his door just by the sound of your footsteps. She knew, then, that he was in good hands.

Emily and Derek noticed how you felt at the same time. You were all on a case, and an officer who awfully looked a lot like Maeve emerged. You were protective of Spencer and knew exactly what his reaction would be. So you had everything he needed and offered to work with him before Hotch could even mention it. Of course, along with that was Penelope getting a confirmation about your feelings for Spencer.

Rossi always knew. He always saw the way you would giggle silently to yourself whenever Spencer sassed his statistics into them. One time, he saw you clean Spencer's desk before everyone arrived. And he suspected that you did so a while back before he caught you.

Hotch? He noticed, but he said nothing unless you verbally told him. He thought you weren't ready to openly admit your feelings to the team yet, so who was he to mention it?

And so it goes...

Emily would grin whenever Spencer gave you coffee every morning. Derek would wiggle his eyebrows whenever he caught your gaze on Spencer, then gossip about it with Penelope, which led to her teasing you 'til sundown. Rossi, at times, tried to ease your feelings when they surfaced. Your solid companion whenever you felt down. And Hotch was ever a menace, stern face or not. He would partner you and Spencer up, specifically on the days when your feelings for the genius were oddly stronger.

So, you could only imagine the heartbreak when Spencer arrived one morning with the wrong order of your coffee and a wide smile as he told you that he was going out on a date.

You immediately showed your protest. Of course, Spencer wasn't happy about it. What was worse was he didn't know why. And worse than that was you couldn't tell him why.

Or so you thought.

"I don't understand why you're making a big deal out of this," Spencer followed you as you walked around the bullpen.

"You just met this woman, Spence. I think it's safe to say, I'm worried. You don't even know whether this person is safe." You lied. You had to. He didn't need to know you didn't want him to go on a date because it would break you.

Spencer crossed his arms, knitting his eyebrows as he felt offended by your words. "I'm a profiler and have 187 IQ. I can take care of myself." He stated, earning a couple of stares from the other agents.

You mirrored his actions, "Really?" You challenged, nodding in his direction, specifically to his tie. "You can't even tie the same tie you've been wearing for years properly. Looks like you haven't done laundry too, because, as far as I can remember, you've been wearing that same vest for the past three days. Are you going to wear that on your date?" You raised a brow.

Emily's eyes blew wide, pursing her lips to eat her laughter in. She looked away in hopes that the urge to burst into fits of laughter would subside. Unfortunately, Derek was doing the same thing, and they both snorted at the same time.

"Obviously, I'm not going to wear this on the date. This is clearly not about how homeless I look like. Just be honest with me and tell me why you're so against me being happy." Spencer's voice climbed an octave higher. He was frustrated and confused, and you both knew how much he hated both.

You closed your eyes and sighed deeply. You really had no other choice, do you? You turned around to face Spencer, "I'm in love with you." You confessed, hoarding the entire bullpen's attention.

Spencer chuckled, shaking his head, "Right, nice joke."

"I'm not joking." It offended you a bit. How much he compared your confession to a silly joke.

Spencer's face darkened. He uncrossed his arms and dipped his hands inside his pockets. His next words broke your heart, "I'm very disappointed in you."

Your eyes widened. Your mouth fell open as you heard your heart break into pieces, so loud you couldn't get a sense of what more he was saying.

"I came to you for two years to mend. You became my best friend because I thought I could trust you. And now, you're in love with me? Did you help me just so you could gain my affection?"

It stung. The silence that fogged the bullpen was deafening. Emily wanted to claw Spencer's eyes, but JJ was fast to hold her back.

Derek began to move beside you, "Reid, don't—"

Your manic laugh cut him off.

Spencer's eyebrows narrowed, "What?" His voice was far from the gentle one you were used to.

"You know what, Reid?" You scoffed, running your tongue on your lower lip to control your anger. "You're right. I was there for you. I was there to lend you a shoulder to cry on. I was there to keep you company. I made you smile. I even made you laugh! And sure, you're very disappointed in me because, god forbid, I fell for the genius prodigy. With the 187 IQ you're boasting, imagine my disappointment when you can't even figure out that I have feelings for you."

The bullpen fell silently dead as you stared at Spencer with such hatred it made his stomach climb on his throat. He has never seen you so... disgusted.

You couldn't take it. You couldn't look at him in the eyes anymore. You felt like you were going to throw up the longer you stood in the center of it all.

His words insulted you. And it hurt like a bitch.

There were many possibilities on how Spencer could've responded to your feelings, but this was beyond your limit.

You bit your lower lip, hesitant yet eager to spill the next words that came out of your mouth. "For the record, I regret falling in love with you." And with that, you left.

An offer from another unit had been sitting in your inbox. And despite having no plan to leave such a beautiful family of colleagues, you filled out the transfer form. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you knew that you needed an out sooner or later. And Spencer's insensitive reaction was just the right motivation you needed.

The Monday after your outburst became the BAU team's worst nightmare.

Spencer immediately noticed your absence. He knew. Of course, he did. You were always the first person to greet him as you spun around in your seat. It was rare for you to be late.

You haven't contacted him for days, either. And he didn't have the guts to do it first. He has been drowning in guilt and couldn't figure out how he'd make it up to you. He realized how unfair he was to you, albeit too late.

Everyone arrived one by one, and there was still no sign of you until Hotch cleared his throat, "Let's start."

Penelope stumbled, hesitating at the sight of your empty seat. "What about..." She softly muttered and yet loud enough for everyone to hear.

"Agent..." Hotch sighed as he spoke your name. He still remembered how you went back to his office while everyone was out for their lunch break and submitted your transfer request. "She officially transferred to unit 4, violent criminal apprehension program... today," Hotch announced, much to his dismay.

Derek's eyebrows knitted, glancing outside the window of the conference room to your desk. "Are you kidding? Her stuff is still here."

Hotch took a deep breath, glancing at Spencer for a moment. "She said they were unnecessary items." He cleared his throat and gestured for Penelope to continue what she was doing.

Regrets stung Spencer like a thousand bees.

Most of the things that clattered on your desk were things that you both shared. His pens that you never gave back. Post-it notes he left for you that had no importance, but you kept them up on the wall of your cubicle. A photo booth picture of the two of you from one of Rossi's Christmas parties. The small bookshelf on top of your desk overflowing with Spencer's annotated books.

"But she didn't even tell us. She didn't say goodbye." Penelope exclaimed. Her eyes matched the frown on her lips. She couldn't help but talk about you. After all, they were your family for many years.

"Could you blame her though?" Emily scoffed, giving Spencer a glare.

Spencer messed up. Big time. And he has no idea how he would make it up to you.

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