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liliacamethyst · 11 months

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Webs of Fate - Miguel O'Hara (Part II)

Sequel to Web of Secrets

Miguel O'Hara x SpiderSun Reader

words: 5.2K

warnings: secret pregnancy trope, swearing, angst, heartbreak, grumpy/sunshine, smut, time jumps, not really comic accurate (canon events), semi public piv, 18+

Part I Part II Part III Part IV

You are all back at the Spider-Verse Headquarters and the atmosphere is tense. Everyone is still high on adrenaline from the mission. You’re nursing a deep gash on your arm but your spirit is far from broken.

Miguel, however, seems to be on the verge of an explosion.

“WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT OUT THERE SPIDER SUN?” he bursts out, his voice echoing through the HQ.

You're taken aback. “What do you mean?”

“That reckless behavior! You could have been killed!” he roars. “Why didn’t you retreat when you were injured?!”

“Because there were lives at stake! I can handle myself, Miguel!” you shout back.

“You think this is a game?! You think being part of this team is just for kicks?” Miguel’s face is red, his voice strained.

“Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare question my dedication!” you yell, your own anger now matching his.

The team is watching, shifting uncomfortably. Gwen looks at Jess, who shakes her head. The room is thick with tension.

Alright, if you are being honest with yourself, your recent actions in the field could definitely be classified as reckless. Perhaps even bordering on idiotic - not that you’d ever confess that in front of Miguel. You didn’t know where your mind went. Wait, no, scratch that. You knew precisely where your thoughts were, every mission since you discovered your pregnancy has been like this; your spider senses dulled, focus scattered to the wind, and reflexes that would’ve made a sloth proud.

And then there was this mission – your first one in quite a while alongside Miguel. He was bound to notice.

So you were fighting an Electro variant from an alternate universe, alongside Jess, Gwen, Ben and Miguel. The electric villain was throwing bolts of energy left and right and everyone was giving their all. You noticed a civilian trapped under some debris. You made a beeline for them, not thinking about anything else.

As you lifted the debris, an energy bolt flew straight for you. Usually, your Spider-Senses would have alerted you but not today. It hit you square in the back and sent you flying.

You hit a wall but ignored the pain as you scrambled back to your feet. A sharp ache spread across your arm but you gritted your teeth and kept fighting.

Miguel yelled, “What the hell are you doing?! Fall back!”

But you didn’t, you kept pushing forward.

He landed next to you, his eyes filled with anger and something else, maybe a hint of worry. He grabbed your waist to pull you back. But as another energy bolt was coming your way, you shoved him out of the path, taking the hit for the second time. So yeah, you could say that this mission wasn't exactly the shining star in your superhero career.

“ESTÚPIDA! So damn stupid. I won’t fucking watch someone throw their life away recklessly!” Miguel was now yelling loudly in oyur face for everyone in the HQ to hear.

“Oh, please. What’s it to you? Since when do you care, Miguel?!” you shout back, finally having enough of his insufferable attitude. “All this time, you’ve treated me like I’m dispensable. Like I don't matter! Well, guess what? I can fight, I can make decisions, and I don’t need you to approve them!”

“Don’t!” Miguel's voice cracks, and for a brief second, there’s a look of hurt on his face that surprises you. But his rage quickly replaces it. “I cannot do this anymore with you, ¿me entiendes?” he yells.

The room falls silent. Everyone’s gazes dart between you and Miguel. You can feel Gwen’s worried eyes on you, and Ben Riley. looks like he wants to intervene, but this moment is too charged.

You take a deep breath, tears welling up. “I can't do this anymore either,” you whisper.

“What?” Miguel's voice is barely audible.

“I can't keep fighting for a team where I’m not respected or trusted. Where you treat me constantly like a liability, like I am worth nothing to you,” you say, your voice steadier now.

“You don’t know what you are saying,” Miguel says, his tone slightly softening.

You turn around, your eyes welling up once again and open a portal to your universe. “I do, I quit” you say, your voice breaking.

You reach into your pocket and pull out your transdimensional gizmo, the small device that every Spider-person uses to travel across the multiverse. It's an intricate piece of technology, a blend of science and magic that fits in the palm of your hand.

You toss the device on the table in front of Miguel. It skids across the surface before coming to a stop right in front of him. He looks from the gizmo to you, his expression unreadable.

"Take it. We don’t need it anymore." You say defiantly, meeting his gaze.

Everyone knows the implication of you returning the gizmo. Without it, you're effectively stranded in your universe, unable to return to the society. This isn't a decision made lightly, it's a point of no return.

As you step through the portal, you glance back one last time. You see Miguel’s face, contorted in pain, but he doesn’t move, he doesn’t speak and he doesn't stop you.

Your heart is breaking, but you can’t stay here. Not when it’s this painful.

You turn away and head toward the portal room, with one hand lightly grazing your tummy. Gwen calls your name, but you don’t stop.

In the dim light of the room, the world seems to fade away as you lie there with Miguel on top of you. You are under him, breathless, your fingers running through his hair. His body pins you down in a tender, electrifying way, and you can feel the rhythm of his heart beating against yours.

His fangs graze the curve of your neck lightly, eliciting a shiver that runs through you. In response, he nuzzles into you, his breath warm against your skin.

"Ever think about what we're doing?" he asks in a whisper that vibrates against your neck.

"Constantly," you respond, your fingers tracing the curve of his broad shoulders, "but I don’t regret it, not a moment.”

He lifts his head, his red orbs searching yours. “Neither do I,” he says, his voice barely more than a whisper. His hand reaches up to trace the contour of your face.

"You know," you whisper, your hands continuing caressing his back, "I always wondered what it was like in your universe, in your time."

He shifts a little, propping himself up on one elbow as he looks down at you. His eyes, usually as unreadable, now seem to crack open; emotions swirl within them like stars.

"It was great, you know," his voice is gentle, each word enveloping you. "No, more than that – it was perfect," he corrects himself. His eyes never leave yours as he continues, "I had my Gabriella. Ah, you would have adored her." His voice softens to a mere whisper as if speaking her name too loudly might shatter the memory. "She was this incredible burst of life just like you. My own little sunshine. I didn’t know my heart could hold so much until she came into my life."

"The way she would throw her head back and laugh, it was like music. Her tiny hands – so soft and gentle. I remember how one of them always found mine, and the world felt... right." He continued, "I was never alone, never empty." He swallows hard, as if trying to keep the flood of emotions from washing over him.

You cup his cheek gently, smiling up at him. "You don't have to be alone, you know?"

He lets out a dry chuckle. “Sometimes it feels like there's no other option. It’s my fate."

“What scares you the most, Miguel?” you suddenly ask, your voice barely above a whisper.

He hesitates. “To lose myself… to forget what it means to care for someone,” he finally confesses.

“You won’t,” you assure him, your thumb stroking his cheek. “Not if you don’t let yourself.”

“¿y tú?” His voice is husky. “What’s your biggest fear?”

“To be forgotten,” you whisper.

He lowers himself and presses his forehead against yours. “Imposible,” he breathes. “You’re the sun. No one forgets the sun.” He pulls you closer, pressing a soft kiss to your lips, his arms tighten around you, pulling you closer until the world outside disappears.

Suddenly, his wrist console beeps, yanking him back to the present. "O’Hara, are you okay?" Lyla's voice echoes in the room, breaking the silence. He blinks, his gaze focusing on the holographic screen displaying the mission details in front of him. "Yeah, Lyla," he responds, his voice a bit hoarse. "Just remembered something," he murmurs, and refocuses on the screen before him.

Amidst the sea of codes and numbers, Miguel finds himself struggling to focus. His thoughts still are consumed by you, and a heavy realization crashes down upon him like a tidal wave - he’s lost you forever.

He always knew that this was how it was meant to be. This was the only logical conclusion, the inevitable outcome that he had tried so hard to deny. He was aware of the potential repercussions, the cosmic imbalance that could be brought about by your intertwining fates.

Lyla had warned him multiple times, cautioned him against letting you close. But how could he have possibly resisted you? You, who shone brighter than the sun, who captured the hearts of everyone around with your aura and your kind soul. Your beauty was unparalleled, and your laughter had the power to fill a room, casting away shadows. He was a moth drawn to your flame, hopelessly captivated from the very first day he met you.

But you were never meant to be his story, not the path his life was meant to tread. You belonged to another world, another universe.

"You're thinking about her, aren't you?" Lyla breaks the silence with her smooth, computerized voice. “No,” he interrupts her sharply, his voice a little too forceful.

But Lyla isn't easily deterred. "You know it was dangerous from the beginning, Miguel," Lyla continues. "Engaging with her like that...it could have caused irreparable damage to the multiverse."

"I know," he replies curtly.

Unyielding, Lyla continues, "This was never supposed to be a canon event. Her universe is not meant to mix with yours. It's fortunate that she left when she did. The damage could've been—"

“I KNOW!” Miguel suddenly erupts, his voice thundering through the room. He screams, his frustration boiling over, "¡Ya lo sé, Lyla! ¡Basta ya!" ("I already know, Lyla! Enough already!") With a loud grunt, he sweeps his arm across his desk, sending his keyboard, mug, and various other items crashing to the ground.

There is a deafening silence as Miguel breathes heavily, his chest heaving. His eyes are wide, his face is flushed and his fangs are bared. He never loses control, not like this.

Lyla, for once, remains silent.

3 months later…

Back in Nea Yorkey, Earth 586 , you are perched on the rooftop, absentmindedly rubbing your stomach. Time has passed since you left Nueva York and Miguel, but your feelings for him are still a tangled mess. Damn these pesky pregnancy hormones.

For once, it’s pretty calm out there. No honking horns in traffic jams or the usual buzz of people everywhere. It’s like the city hit the pause button and honestly, it’s kind of nice. The streetlights are like tiny fairy lights all over, and the tall buildings around you feel like they’re keeping you company.

The cool breeze brushes against your face, and you can't help but be lost in your thoughts. Thoughts of him. The relentless flood of emotions is almost too much to handle.

The flashback hits you hard, placing you right back in Miguel's office late one evening. Your legs were wrapped around his waist, your backside planted firmly on his desk amidst strewn cables and metallic pieces and half-empty coffee mugs.

"Miguel, someone will catch us," you had warned, your breath hitching as he nipped at your skin, his hands deftly moving to undo your skintight suit. His hair was a little longer then, the ends tickling your forehead as he kissed you.

He had just chuckled, the sound deep and throaty, making your heart flutter. "They know better than to disturb me," he'd responded confidently, his lips trailing fiery kisses along your jawline.

Usually, Miguel was cautious about showing any sign of affection when others might be around, even if 'around' meant anywhere in the sprawling headquarters of the Spider Society. Yet, that night, he seemed to throw caution to the wind.

In his enclosed office, late into the evening, he let his guard down - a rarity. His lips were insistent against your skin, his touch setting you alight. You remember how the soft glow of the desk lamp had caught in his eyes, making them appear even more mesmerizing.

As he was holding your ass up steady and pounding into you, in a pace and fervor you never experienced before, you hear his communicator ring vibrating. You instinctively attempt to pull away, assuming he would answer the call, but he holds you tighter, his lips never leaving your skin.

His free hand pulls up a holographic screen,which flickered to life above the desk, revealing a slightly pixelated image of Jess. You panic for a moment, worried that she might see you in this intimate moment with Miguel, but he just shook his head slightly, reassuring you that she can't. He must have filtered the video feed on his end.

“Yes, Jess?” Miguel’s voice was steady, but his breath ghosted your neck in short spurts. He continued with his action, his thrusts a little slower but deep, nevertheless. You clamp your teeth down onto Miguel's shoulder in a desperate attempt to stifle the moans escaping your throat, your senses overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. You can barely contain yourself. Miguel's soft, amused chuckle vibrate through you as he wraps his arms around you protectively. Asshole.

“We’ve got an anomaly on Earth-4067, seems like a temporal rift,” Jess's voice came through the hologram.

“Have you tried the Q-particle stabilizer?” Miguel asks, his voice so casual it's almost disarming. His eyes meet yours, a playful glint in them.

“Yeah, but it didn’t work. The rift is actually growing,” Jess responds, the worry in her voice increasing. “What do you think we should do?”

“Alright, I want you to reconfigure the dimensional frequency to match the rift. Then patch the satellite feed through the Alchemax algorithm, reverse the temporal frequency by 4.7 hertz and use the resonance pulse to stabilize the rift,” Miguel articulates with authority as he continues to pick up his pace. You’re close to the edge, with the euphoria threatening to make you cry out. The sheer pleasure is now tinged with a faint edge of pain, and a wave of panic crashes over you. The thought of Jess possibly hearing you is nerve-wracking, and you’re now fighting to suppress your screams.

Your breathing becomes erratic as you whisper in a hoarse, needy voice, “Miguel, ‘m close."

"I know, mami. Come for me," he whispers back, his voice filled with a playful mischief that seems to defy the gravity of the situation. His hot breath against your ear sends shivers down your spine and the wave of pleasure crushes down on you.

“Miguel, are you sure about this? I mean, if something goes wrong…” Jess hesitates.

“I’m sure, Jess.” Thrust. “Do.” Another hard thrust. “it.” Miguel’s voice turns forceful.

“Okay, I trust you. But... are you alright? You sound kinda breathless,” Jess's suspicion returns.

“Oh, just...uh...running some diagnostics. It’s a bit stuffy in here,” Miguel replies with a smirk on his face, his fingers now gently brushing against your bare heated skin.

The rooftop is silent again, and you're still rubbing your belly, where the life you and Miguel created is growing. A bittersweet tear rolls down your cheek as you wish, not for the first time, that things could have been different.

You don’t know how long you are sitting there, taking in the city scene. But it was getting dark, when a familiar figure swings onto the rooftop. It's Gwen, carrying a small package in her hand. “Gwen? What brings you to Nea Yorkey?”

She walks up to you with a soft smile, "Do I need a reason to visit my favourite Spider-Ma? I've got something for you."

You raise an eyebrow as she hands you the package. As you unwrap it, you find a tiny Spider-Man hat, similar to the one Mayday usually wears. And to your surprise, there’s a tiny anarchy pin, attached to it.

"From the group," she says softly. She adds, pointing at the pin, "This bit here, that’s from Hobie." Of course it is.

You’re moved to tears as you hug the hat close. It's a simple gift, yet it means so much. You feel a lump in your throat, and Gwen steps forward, wrapping you in a warm, comforting hug.

"I...I miss all of you so much," you manage to whisper, your voice choked with emotion.

"We miss you too," Gwen replies, her voice equally soft.

You pull back, wiping your eyes. Gwen tries to lighten the mood, "So, any guesses on the gender? I bet it’s a boy."

You shrug, a small smile tugging at your lips, "I don't care what it's going to be. I just want them to be healthy."

Gwen grins, "Just remember, if it is a boy and he turns out to be a handful, you owe me a soda."

You both sit on the edge of the rooftop in a comfortable silence, legs swinging over the city, the conversation turns more serious.

"So," you venture, "how are things back at the Spider Society?"

Gwen’s expression turns contemplative. "It's been... strange since you left," she admits.

"Strange how?" you prod.

"Well, you know how Miguel was always a little on the, uh, grumpy side?" she says, making a grimace.

"You mean being a brooding fortress of doom and gloom?" you quip, and Gwen chuckles.

"Yeah, that. Well, he's gotten worse since you left. Like, way worse," Gwen's face turns somber as she continues. "He’s even more closed off than before. His temper’s shorter, he barely communicates, and he's been pushing everyone away. Miguel’s basically got everyone on lockdown. No unauthorized visits between universes. There’s this... I don’t know... this cloud hanging over him, you know?”

Your heart tightens as you take in her words. You had no idea that your departure had such an impact on him, or anyone for that matter.

“He doesn’t talk about it, but I think he misses you,” Gwen adds, looking directly into your eyes.

You are torn. Part of you wants to be angry at Miguel for how things went down, but another part aches for him.

Gwen nudges you. "Maybe he needs his sunshine back," she says with a gentle smile.

You sit in silence for a moment, the weight of Gwen’s words sinking in. “Don’t be silly. I was never his sunshine.”

4 months later…

Beneath the pale glow of hospital lights, pain and joy mingle in the delivery room. The grip you have on the sheets gets tighter as you push to usher your baby into the world. Your hair is sticking to your forehead, your breath comes in heaving gasps, exhaustion painting dark circles under your eyes.

Meanwhile, unbeknownst to you, a portal flickers to life outside your window, and Gwen, Peter B., and Hobie emerge.

“Make way! The party has arrived!” Peter B. exclaims loudly.

“I don’t believe in parties.” Hobie says as he struts in, clad in his Spider suit with a leather jacket over it, pins and patches proudly displayed.

Gwen knocks at your door. The midwife, busy with you in the labor, answers.

“Uh, who are you?” the midwife asks, slightly agitated.

“We’re friends of hers,” Peter gestures towards you, “is it a good time?”

You hear their voices, but you cant muster up a response all you can do is scream and push.

“Blimey, I didn’t think it’d be like somethin’ outta Alien! You alright there, love?” Hobie’s eyes go wide, as he enters the room.

You can't help but laugh through the pain, "Oh, just peachy, thanks for asking."

Gwen steps forward, immediately grabbing your hand, her voice soothing, “Hey, you’re doing great. Is there anything we can do?”

“You could get Hobie out of here,” you jest, rolling your eyes, but your smile betrays your appreciation. Another loud scream follows.

“You got this, luv!” Hobie shouts. “Just imagine the bloody contractions as guitar riffs! You’re about to release the raddest album in history!”

Finally, after what feels like an eternity, you hear the cries of your newborn baby.

“Congratulations, it's a boy!” the nurse announces, handing the baby to to you.

You can’t help but laugh. Gwen steps closer to the bed and takes a peek at the baby. Her eyes light up. “Told you, it’s a boy. He’s absolutely beautiful,” she whispers.

Hobie chimes in. “Alright, let’s get a proper look at the little bloke!” He leans in, and his face softens. "Oh, look at 'im!" Hobie exclaims in his thick British accent, peering at him. "Little blighter's a spitting image of 'is mum, ain't he?” No. You see it then, the dark eyes with a hint of red glow echo the intensity of his father's gaze, the dark chocolate hair and the sun kissed complexion. He looked undeniably just like Miguel. You cant help yourself but fall immediately in love with your and Miguel’s little boy.

As they prepare to leave, Gwen, Peter B., and Hobie each take turns holding Gabriel and whispering well-wishes to him.

“I can’t thank you guys enough for being here,” you say, wiping away a tear.

Peter’s mask is off and he’s beaming. "We couldn't miss this for the multiverse!"

Gwen follows suit, "Yeah! Plus, Hobie wouldn't let us hear the end of it if we didn’t."

“We’re family,” Peter says firmly. “Across universes and timelines. We’re always here for each other.”

With that, the trio put on their masks and with another whoosh, they're gone.

1 year later...

One year has passed like a whirlwind. You've established a balance in your life. By day, you are a doting mother, and your world revolves around a little ball of energy named Gabriel. His laugh is the music that fuels your day, and his tiny hands holding yours make everything seem alright.

At night, though, you become someone else. Clad in a white suit adorned with golden sun patterns, you swing through the skyscrapers of Nea Yorkey as the Sun Spider. Your heart swells with pride, knowing that you’re keeping the streets and your little boy safe.

Your neighbor, Melissa, sometimes babysits Gabriel. She is a cheerful, quirky 19-year-old neighbor who dreams of becoming an Instagram influencer. You trust her (her career choice not so much) and, most importantly, Gabriel adores her.

Up until today, you believed that he hadn't inherited any powers. However, today was the first time he climbed up a wall and spun a web, without the aid of a web-slinger. It was the first time you witnessed him display such powers, and naturally, you were impressed. However, you also realized that being a mom would now involve dealing with a whole new set of challenges and responsibilities, making everyday life more exhausting than before. But you are up for the challenge;

Meanwhile, in the Spider Society’s HQ in Nueva York, Lyla’s holographic screen blinks red as she detects an anomaly in Earth 586 - your universe. She reports it to Miguel, who is still his grumpy self, seemingly even more irritable with each day passing.

“There’s a presence in Earth 586 that does not belong,” Lyla reports in her emotionless tone.

Miguel, sitting at his desk, sighs deeply. “Assemble the team. Pavitr, Lego Spider-Man, and... let’s bring in the newbie, Miles.”

Minutes later, the trio is briefed about the anomaly – a two-year-old child. They are to extract the child and bring it back.

Back in your universe, you're facing off against a notorious villain – The Shocker, who is on a rampage downtown. His high-frequency shock waves shake the very foundations of the buildings around you.

“Not tonight, Shocker,” you quip as you dodge a blast. “I’ve got a bedtime story to read!”

You're agile and sharp, but you can’t wait to get back home to Gabriel.

In your apartment, Melissa is on the couch, engrossed in her phone. She doesn't notice Pavitr slyly slipping into Gabriel's room. He can’t help but feel conflicted, seeing the innocent child asleep.

“This is the target?” Pavitr speaks in a hushed tone into his communicator. His voice is laced with doubt.

“Yes, proceed,” responds Miguel firmly.

Pavitr gently picks up Gabriel, cradling him in his arms. “Sorry, little guy,” he whispers and slips out.

Outside, they gather near the portal. Miles, who is visibly excited to be on his first mission, can sense the tension among the group.

“That was… too easy,” Pavitr murmurs, still holding the sleeping child.

Through the swirling portal, they make their way back to Nueva York.

Meanwhile, you web up The Shocker and leave him hanging for the police.

Back in the Spider Society's HQ in Nueva York, the team stands in a specialized containment room with the toddler still peacefully sleeping nestled in a makeshift bed of spider-web, completely oblivious to the attention he's attracting. One by one, members of the Spider Society trickle into the room, drawn by curiosity and concern.

Miles, who is new to the Spider Society, looks at the child with confusion. "I don't get it, what's so dangerous about a kid?" he asks.

Pavitr looks conflicted, “We have to determine where he came from and why he is considered an anomaly.”

Lego Spider-Man remains silent, trying to analyze the situation. He finally speaks up. "We should be cautious. Just because it's a child doesn't mean it's not potentially hazardous to the multiverse."

Miguel enters the room, his face cold and emotionless. He glances at the sleeping child, then at his team. “It doesn’t matter what it is. Anomalies threaten the balance of the multiverse. Every anomaly has to be returned to its home universe. That’s the rule.” he says sternly.

"But he's not an anomaly, boss," Jess adds, gazing fondly at the child. "He's a little boy."

Miguel’s gaze is unwavering, ignoring Jess. “Lyla? Whats the status?”

Lyla's holographic form flickers into the room. "This entity possesses unknown powers," she declares, her voice ringing out with clinical detachment. "And according to my scans, it doesn't belong to any known universe. Therefore, it cannot be returned. It must be... eliminated."

Miles' eyes widen. “Wait, you mean…?” he can’t bring himself to finish the sentence.

Pavitr steps forward, his fists clenched. “We can’t just... There must be another way.”

Back in your universe, you swing closer to your apartment, but your spider-sense starts are tingling with a ferocity you’ve never experienced before. Your heart races, and you quicken your pace. Bursting through the window, you find Melissa still sitting on the couch, scrolling through her phone.

"Where is he? Where’s Gabriel?!" you shout, panic straining your voice.

Melissa's eyes go wide as she looks up from her phone. "What? He's in his room, sleeping," she says, but her voice falters when she sees the terror on your face.

You rush into Gabriel's room and find the crib empty. Your knees buckle, and a guttural scream escapes your lips. The room spins as you run back to the living room, grabbing Melissa by the shoulders.

"Did anyone come in? Did you see anything?!" you practically scream at her.

“I... I didn’t see anyone. I swear!” Melissa's voice shakes.

Your heart feels like it's tearing apart. You look around the room, desperate for any clue. You need to find your son, and something deep within you tells you that the Spider Society is where you need to go. You have to find a way to travel through the multiverse without a gizmo and the time is ticking. You have to find your son.

Back in the HQ in the midst of the tension-filled room, Gwen stands up, "Miguel, you can't be serious," she pleads, disbelief resonating in her voice. "We can't just... kill a baby.”

Miguel's eyes narrow. "Sometimes tough decisions have to be made for the greater good.”

Just then, little Gabriel wakes up. His big eyes wander curiously around the room, and he starts to make happy babbling sounds. Unfazed by his surroundings, he looks at each of the Spider-People with fascination.

As Peter B. is about to reach down to pick Gabriel up, the toddler crawls quickly over to Miguel. His little face lights up with the purest of smiles and he reaches his tiny arms towards Miguel as if trying to give him a hug.

The room seems to collectively hold its breath. Even Miguel seems taken aback.

Pavitr can't help it, “He seems to have taken a liking to you, boss.”

Gwen smiles, her eyes watering up. “See? Even this innocent soul can sense there’s still good in you.”

Tiny fingers grip at the fabric of Miguel's suit, baby Gabriel coos and giggles as he clambers up the towering figure. Planting tiny baby kisses on any part of Miguel he can reach, the toddler's joyous laughter rings in the silent room. "Vete, Vete." Miguel mutters. And despite Miguel's cold exterior, Gabriel is unphased, drawn to him as though an invisible bond exists between them.

Miguel looks frustrated and uncomfortable with the baby's affection. He awkwardly picks Gabriel up at arm’s length. But the little one is relentless, trying to cuddle into Miguel’s chest.

Annoyed, Miguel places Gabriel into a containment field made of energy beams, to keep him in place. The baby, though restrained, is still reaching out to Miguel with his tiny hands, cooing.

The room goes quiet again, and Gwen speaks, her voice soft.

“Look at him, Miguel. Please. You can’t tell me that this doesn’t affect you in any way.”

Miguel's face is tense, his jaw clenched. His eyes dart between Gwen and Gabriel. All eyes are directed towards Miguel. The room feels like it’s waiting for something to shatter.

“We do what needs to be done, no exceptions.”

Part III "Web of Shadow and Light"

a/n: Honestly, I can't begin to express how much your support and kind messages mean to me. I literally started crying when I saw how much love this story received. It means the world to me. Truly, thank you. I'd love to hear your thoughts, and if someone could give me a heads-up on whether the tag list functioned properly, that would be great. Also, apologies for any inconsistencies or logical errors regarding the multiverse or canon theory. I watched the movie but I'm not 100% sure of that's how it works.

Once again, I really do appreciate each and everyone of you. Please, don’t forget to take good care of yourselves and stay hydrated! ILYSM

@ieatmunson @buggiecrawls @strawberriesareprettycool @lux-thebimbo @hk-4ever @invaderzim13 @hannah-goulll @arivh @alwayslegendarymoon @deputy-videogamer @560ria @myconglomerateromance @mateihavenoidea @alwayslegendarymoon @shibble @pagesfalling @kurooyy @regretfulmoth @crazysandwichlady2p04 @ poet-dae @rev-hellfyr @suya-x-syx @daimiyu @lazy-idate @jenniferdixon05207 @lostprince @amplsblog @eternalsams @cubinhodegelo @ prvttystvr @dabi-hawksbrainrot @noxiousfeline @maeplayscello @everyoneluvsvane @vinskyspuff @snazzajazz @yuuuumii @loreleis-world @fuckub @shugrcrush @fandomsinthegalaxies @vladersira @greatstudentbird @avengersinitiative2012 @therealnekomari @xiangping-28 @tanchosanke @tulipsc @tonystank1011 @la--figue @pingpongfingfong @ash-tronomicall @spardaenjoyer @venuswash3re @sofi786 @ranpuwo @sayonaratoyou @fuckthatfeeling @k7a4 @mxjss @rizahawkeye1380 @sinnamongirl @soosheee @cheezit-luv3rr @ransbatonowo @azurerose010 @azestar12334 @muertethekid @jay-joy @staronus0buttercup @mashiromochi @iseizeyourmom @salty-sister @aryjai @surhii @sinning-fae @gel0517 @hinata7346 @princessfuckyou @danyisawesomedontdenyit @typicalife-101 @arabell13 @thekinghazzastyles @sockears @perfectprofessorloverapricot

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meth-clefairy · 2 years

Note

kill yourself

Geez I should kill myself how about you do that such a pussy ass bitch can't even be off anonymous while coming at me trying to talk shit your hate don't phase me you're going to have to try harder than that you fucking idiot don't waste my fucking time......

You basic ass weak haters can't do shit to me bye...

#anonymous #anon #anons #asks #yo this is so dumb as fuck why???#why send me hate like this #fucking disrespectful fucks #bitch your a basic ass fucking hating loser #people that just come on other people's blogs and ask them to kill themselves are really truly bitter fucks you're ugly inside and out #why send me this huh?#are you that unhappy with yourself you have to tell other people that you don't even know to kill themselves #suicide tw #kill yourself anonymous ask #james jesse souza #answered ask

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lucretiaadventurezone · 5 months

Text

TAZ Dashboard Simulator 2 (Part 1)

🔥 lup-da-lup Follow

be back soon 💋 im gonna go fight this guy for my relic

🔥 lup-da-lup Follow

Ubmrella

#girl help #im trapped

(7 notes)

In your orbit!

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

↻ woe-is-johann

🤼 best-fantasy-prowrestler-tournament Follow

Round 4: Semi-Finals

Jeff Angel Propaganda:

from @.ango-mcdango: I <3 JEFF ANGEL HE’S SO COOL AND HE ALWAYS CALLS HIS DAD

Jess the Beheader Propaganda:

from @.bagnus-murnsides: jess literally has a dope ass axe

#jess sweep

(379 notes)

🚀 cap-n-port

↻ you-know-from-tv Follow

┌───────────────────┐

😎 Anonymous asked:

Your captain looks gnc as fuck

└───────────────────┘

👖 lactosewarrior5000

YOU'RE INSANE

#Thank you very much!

(29,399 notes)

🐱 Sponsored by Fantasy Costco

You Don’t Need All of Your Blood; Here’s Why

The Director doesn’t want you to know this…

🎻 woe-is-johann

↻ avi-the-ball-guy

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

cannonball system liveblog

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

ball

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

ball

🪩 avi-the-ball-guy

other. ball

#babe we gotta get you a fidget toy or something #clearly you're getting bored at work

(23 notes)

📔 sheesh-creesh

↻ lup-da-lup Follow

💋 lesbian-orc-lover Follow

lucretia was 18 when the ipre mission left??!? she should've been at the club!!

✨ you-know-from-tv Follow

oh trust me one of the planes we went to was a giant disco and lucy was freakin it sensitive style day and night

🔥 lup-da-lup Follow

real footage of lucretia at the club ↑↑

#I'm actually going to kill both of you #mutuals #queue never know what you'll find #reblogs

(35,095 notes)

❄️ neverwinter-heritage-posts

↻ magic-brian-with-an-i Follow

┌───────────────────┐

🚂 jerreeeeee asked:

is magnus burnsides gay??

└───────────────────┘

📖 dailycalebcleveland

why would you ask us, a caleb cleveland blog, this

#neverwinter heritage posts

(109,837,936 notes)

🧣 weaver-of-fate

↻ raven-queen-official

🐦‍⬛ raven-queen-official

i loev my beaugifyl wife so muchnohmygod

🐦‍⬛ raven-queen-official

where is smy wife i wanst to see herh

🐦‍⬛ raven-queen-official

hiiiiiiiidjiiii omg shge. is here :D

#apologies guys we hung out with pan and she got FUCKED up #you know how poker nights get #wife tag

(74 notes)

�� 7-bird-watcher

↻ not-a-shitty-wizard Follow

🪄 mage-guy-19274637 Follow

people who actually like bugs are absolute freaks

🕷️ magic-brian-with-an-i Follow

wrong! spider attack

🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️🕷️

#sent to me

(6,074 notes)

🌈 lucretiaadventurezone

#i simply had to make another one it was way too fun #can you spot all the references?#long post #fake tumblr post #taz balance #the adventure zone #a sydney original #taako #lup #barry bluejeans #davenport #istus #the raven queen #avi #johann #johavi #istus/the raven queen

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imliterallyellie · 4 months

Text

is this thing on? 🎤

domestic!ellie. i would kill for her, just saying.

just thinking about jackson!ellie but like… domestic… i'm sure she would go absolutely feral over the small things like you making her food. she would be out on patrol the whole day and be so surprised when she felt an unfamiliar object in her backpack while looking for her switchblade, turns out it was your pink lunchbox with lunch in and then act so giddy throughout the rest of the day thinking of her girlfriend taking the time out of her day making her sandwiches and putting them in her bag…

jesse would be out on the trails with her, telling her a story but when he notices the lack of replies he turns around and finds ellie sitting on a bench munching on her sandwiches and she can't do anything but shrug and mumble "sorry jesse- my girlfriend made me these"

or when she comes home from a grueling, long day, the warmth of your shared house enveloping her when she kicks off her shoes and places her backpack and coat aside, and noticing you're folding up some laundry or doing the dishes… she can't help but wrap her arms around your waist from behind and place featherlight kisses on your neck and mumble a soft "hey mama, you look so good today" in your neck which gets you all giddy and flustered (need ellie to call me mama so bad)

ellie was never the one to sleep in but ever since she’s been with you it’s been such a dread to get her out of bed. would commit crimes for “5 more minutes” which turn out into a whole morning in bed up to the point where maria is banging on your door because you were both a no-show for your tasks of the day

ellie definitely vouches for weekly movie nights. you both take turns in picking movies, the other gets the snacks ready. anytime you're on snack duty she will be waiting for you in her spot on the couch, arms open, blanket ready to be draped over you, ready for another rewatch of the movie ellie picks every. single. time. without fail, but it's okay, because anytime her face lights up at her favorite scene in the movie you fall in love with her a little more

loooooves slow dancing in the kitchen. i know it's specific but god she revels in it. your hands playing with the hair on the back of her neck, her arms around your waist and swaying to whatever song you've been humming non-stop that afternoon

i'm in desperate need of domestic ellie 💳💥

photo: m3oww04/pinterest (we are respectful in this house and we credit creators)

#is this thing on?#torlex speaking 🌿#ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #the last of us #the last of us fanfiction #tlou #ellie williams smut

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morepeachyogurt · 9 months

Text

i love you, i do, but i cannot fucking stomach you

text id below

1. sometimes you get so close to someone you end up on the other side of them

2. [in red highlight] everything i’ve ever let go of has claw marks on it.

3. [white text on a background of a field] A FRIEND HAS TO BE OUTSIDE MY REACH, BEYOND MY GRASP. AND THERE CAN BE NO FRIENDSHIP WITH SOMEONE WHOM I AM NOT READY TO BETRAY: A FRIEND IS SOMEONE I CAN BETRAY WITH LOVE.

4. Long before Caesar and Brutus were lessons, they were friends. // They played with stick swords in their kingdom of trees // and dressed up in crowns of flowers // and painted mud on each other's faces. // The pair was often found walking down dirt roads, // Caesar stomping proud and tall, // and Brutus- step by step- placing his feet into the footprints left behind. // Caesar grew into a strong Roman man. // Brutus grew into Caesar's shoes. // They walked to a wishing well and they threw in their weapons // and Caesar whispered a prophecy: // "We live and die together." // The day before the slaughter, Brutus took pause. // He turned to Caesar and thought // "I'll love you twice as hard today to make up // for tomorrow," // and they stayed up and played cards on the kitchen floor. // It wasn't until the next morning that Brutus realized how cold the tile was. // Life and death are not mutually exclusive. // When Caesar died, so did Brutus, in the sense that he never really lived again. // In the present, when someone mentions one of them, // they seldom exclude mention of the other.

5. a scene from succession. the characters kendall and stewy are in a dimly lit alley, one walks away from the other while saying “you’re my third oldest friend. you fucked me like a tied goat. we’re great.”

6. I'm not happy if you're not happy // And swear that you're always sad // You're pathetic, I resent it // When you're down, it hurts so bad

7. I've gotten so good about not flinching at the sound of your name that people don't know I'd still throw myself mouth-open into the ocean for the chance to drown somewhere you might see it.

8. the painting ‘Ivan the Terrible and His Son Ivana’. it depicts a man holding another man who is bleeding profusely from his head.

9. there are a million ways to bleed, but you are by far my favorite.

10. scene from the movie thoroughbreds. a character lays crying wrapped around her friend, she is covered in blood, her friend is unconscious.

11. [in pink highlight] and be wary of friends, yeah? they are the ones who kill you, in the end.

#web weaving #toxic frienship #toxic friends #toxic relationship #parallels #succession #thoroughbreds #yrsa daley ward #orla gartland #richard siken #david foster wallace #iain thomas #mine <3 #requested <3 #1k

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savannahsdeath · 10 months

Note

As a lil ellie request, would u mind writing smth about reader being mad at ellie bc she was a little reckless on patrol and got hurt, so she dosnt let ellie touch her while she rides her? <33

this is my first request and i absolutely love it so how could i say no 🤭

ELLIE WILLIAMS X READER

mdni please<3

summary: ellie was reckless during her usual patrol so you decided to give her a lesson

warnings: 18+!! smut, strap (r!receiving), wound, mean!reader, begging

writers note: i actually love this idea sm?? also dear anon sorry if its not something you expected but its just how i imagine that:3

You were waiting for your girlfriend to come back from patrol, just like every day. Except today she took her fucking time.

The sun has already set, so instead of waiting in the couch, as usual, you decided to go to your bedroom. You knew you won't fall asleep, not until she comes back. You needed to see she's safe if you want to sleep peacefully.

The door's opened.

You heard her entering the living room, surprised you're not there.

"Babe?" She frowned.

You quickly ran up to her. You were already mad she came home so late but after seeing her you were truly pissed of.

Her jeans were rolled up, exposing her leg covered in messy-bloody bandages.

"What the fuck happened?" You almost yelled, kneeling in front of her and unwrapping it.

"I might get bit." She said with a shrug, like it's a normal thing. "They almost killed Jesse, so I covered him. Ya know, he's not the immune one."

You went to the bathroom to get fresh bandages and alcohol to clean the wound. The bit was small, it (whatever 'it' was) probably barely touched her. You quickly started patching her up.

"So what, just because you're immune makes you think you can risk your life?" You chuckled mockingly.

Her leg stung from the alcohol and it took all of her efforts to not groan out in pain.

It was almost more frustrating that she was so nonchalant about it. Like, you knew she didn't care about herself, she rarely ever did, but her putting herself in harm's way because she's the immune-whatever was just annoying. You wanted to yell at her and drag her into the house and never let her out again, but you also didn't want to sound like a controlling jerk.

"Aww, are you worried about me?" Ellie smirked. You rolled your eyes at her response to your concern. She always liked to push your buttons, and this was only one of times she does it.

You finished cleaning and patching up the small bite on her leg, and the wound looked almost healed. You went back to the bathroom to to throw away the used bandages.

You leaned over the sink, splashing some water in your face and gathering your thoughts.

Maybe you overreacted?

Suddenly, when you looked at the mirror, you saw Ellie standing behind you with her hands wrapped around your waist. Her breath tickled the side of your face as she pressed herself against you.

You felt the bulge in her pants and your eyes widened. There's no way she was wearing it at the patrol, but then again, when did she manage to put it on?

"I can make it up to you." She whispered.

You couldn't completely give in. She deserved a lesson and you doing whatever she wants would have the opposite effect. Still, you couldn't resist her now, could you?

Before you could push her away, she kissed you. Her lips were so possessive, like she's intentionally making you as breathless as possible, so you won't manage to speak - you won't manage to say no. The truth is, you didn't want to say no. Not to her.

She was slowly pushing you towards your bedroom, which was (luckily) opposite the bathroom.

She pulled away to let you catch your breath only when you were sitting on her lap, not able to move because of her strong grip.

After she unbuckled her belt, she lied down as you sat on top of her. She gave you one of those 'you know what to do' looks.

And that was the moment your bratty attitude came back, as you remembered how reckless your girlfriend really is. Of course you craved her strap, but you wanted to somehow make her regret her stupid antics, so you decided to take it your way.

She was the type of person that needed to touch you. Going on a walk? - Her hand is either on your waist, back pocket of your jeans or tangled with yours. And while you're fucking she had to hold you. Even though just the sight of you is enough to make her go insane, she could never keep her hands away from you.

This time wasn't an exception but you wanted it to be.

You spared yourself all the little games and you started riding her instantly. Gripping her hips for balance, rolling your eyes back and moaning her name.

For her, you looked like the most precious thing in the world right at this moment. She just loved seeing you fuck yourself dumb on her cock.

Her hands started desperatly touching your body, as if to make sure this isn't a hallucination. But you quickly pulled them away.

She had no idea what your point was, she narrowed her eyes and frowned. Suddenly she smirked as she remembered your previous 'argument'.

"Don't tell me you're still mad." She chuckled breathlessly.

Usually you'd try to be as quiet as possible, embarrased by how Ellie can make you feel. This day you were anything but quiet, hoping to make her mad.

"I may be." You moaned out.

She closed her eyes, loudly exhaling, as she seemed to think about something.

She tried touching you a few more times, not successfully. You were holding back a laugh at her confusion.

"Don't be like that, I know you love my touch. Just let me... It would be a win-win situation." She tilted her head, staring at you taking the whole strap without her help. At this point, what you did was cruel.

"Are you seriously so mad at me for this little bite that you're going to make me just helplessly watch?" She continued, her each word sounded more and more exaggerated.

"What, can't stand it?" You said mockingly, continuing to whimper.

"Of course I can't fucking stand it!" She covered her face with her hands as looking at you made it worse and she wasn't able to just look away. Her hips were thrusting, just a little, as she hoped you won't notice.

You couldn't hold back your laugh any longer. She was really losing her mind, or at least pretending to. You couldn't tell. But it sure was funny to watch her squirm.

Your smirk grew with each response, knowing her patience was wearing thin and she would soon be begging for you. She was clearly pissed at the situation, but she wanted to play it cool at first. However, that facade melted with your each mocking response.

"Just let me touch you." She whispered, her voice becoming more needy and frustrated. "I need this."

"You know what I need?" You grinned in between your groans. "An responsible girlfriend who doesn't think her immunity is an excuse for... everything."

She scoffed, but she didn't care about the answer. She just needed you. The frustration was building up to the point where she wouldn't be able to take it soon. Her hands started pulling at your shirt as if she wanted to discretely show you she wants it off of you. She had gone mad, and you loved every moment of it.

"Please, I can't take it anymore." She moaned, her voice breaking every word with a new breath.

"There she is, starting to beg." You laughed as you pushed her hands away again, gentler this time.

Of course you didn't feel as good as you did when Ellie was helping you - there's just something about the way she guides your hips on top of her. But you had to keep your cool this time.

Her hands kept reaching for you, but you kept pulling them away. She was frustrated, and her voice was getting angrier.

"Stop playing hard to get."

It was clear she had almost reached her limit. She didn't care about anything anymore, she just wanted you.

You whimpered and teased her some more, which drove her completely mad. She was at her limit and couldn't handle it any longer.

"Please... please... please." She begged desperately, pulling at your shirt. "I'm going crazy, I need you..."

The sound of her voice broke you. You couldn't help but stop and start giggling to yourself, amused by the desperation in her tone.

But you didn't dare push the game any longer.

#ellie williams x reader #ellie williams x y/n #ellie williams x you #ellie x reader #ellie x y/n #ellie williams #ellie tlou #ellie the last of us #ellie williams smut #ellie smut #wlw smut #smut #strappon #anon #nonnie asks #thank you nonnie #send anons #reqs open #request

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mangosrar · 4 months

Text

call it what you want pt2

matt sturniolo x fem reader.

pt1

"i mean come on y/n, its a perfect chance for you to get back at your parents and a perfect chance for matt to get back at jess, how could you say no" nick stated.

"fuck no, jess can eat shit, and besides, id rather die lonely than have to ever be close to that loser" you replied, walking into the kitchen, with matt, nick and now chris who had walked in on you and matt screaming at each other just a few minutes before.

"shes right matt jess can eat shit" chris added, causing matt to glare at him and roll his eyes.

jess was matts bitchy, stuck up, brat of a girlfriend, well ex-girlfriend of 4 months. they had broken up about a month ago when she came to matt and told him she wasnt in the right place for a boyfriend, then posted a photo of her kissing jason atkins on her Instagram story. you honestly found the whole thing hilarious; she was some blonde bimbo who thought the sun shone out of her ass, and matt was the complete opposite, he was grumpy and dark, but someone how they ended up together.

"y/n your childish side is showing, i mean please do not fucking flatter yourself, i would rather gouge my own eyeballs out than have anyone think im with you, but i want my girlfriend back, i miss her" matt said, running a hand through his hair, leaning against the counter opposite you.

"aw are you gonna cry matty?" you mocked with a fake sad expression.

"y/n" nick said flatly. "you need this, come on" he continued.

you sighed, trying to really think this out. nick was right, but you also werent sure he would be so happy with this whole situation by the time you murdered his brother. there was a pause for a moment, all three of them staring at you, waiting for you to give in before you spoke up.

"how would it even work?" you asked.

"we post together, tell people were together, go to parties and shit with each other but in private i wanna stay as far away from your annoying ass as i can." matt said shrugging his shoulders while looking at you.

"what about school dumbass?" chris added.

"the same i guess, but dont be all up on me in the hallways i dont wanna be that annoying couple" matt grimaced.

"you and jess were that annoying couple, always making out in front of everyone and shit its gross, so just make sure you swap saliva in private" nick said, jabbing his hand out in front of him as he spoke to get his point across.

"this conversation is giving me literal back ache, im dipping, just figure it out and dont kill each other while you're at it." chris sighed, standing up and walking away.

"me too, just...no mean words towards each other, you're dating now remember" nick pleaded.

"no promises" matt muttered, watching nick walk out of the room, leaving you and matt in awkward silence.

neither of you really wanted to do this, but it was ideal, it was just annoying that you had to be so fucking rude and stubborn and attractive and smell so good. and it was infuriating that matt had to be so mean and punchable, and so sexy with a face that was so sittable. the two of you really couldnt resist stand eachother.

neither of you wanted to make eye contact, both just looking around before you broke the silence.

"do you really wanna do this?" you asked.

"no but its my only option" matt replied, still staring at you, sitting on the counter, from his position, leaning on the opposite side.

"so were really doing this?" you stated.

"i guess we are" he whispered, looking down at his feet.

"no kissing or anything though" you squinted at him. matt just hung his head and laughed before pushing himself off the counter and sauntering towards you, stopping when your knees met his stomach.

matt placed his hands on the counter, next to each one of your thighs and leaned his face closer to yours, making you suck in a breath from the closeness. "why baby? scared you'll like it?"

you couldnt deny the insatiable heat that was now blooming between your legs, he smelt so goo, his eyes looked hungry and the heat radiating off of his body onto yours made you dizzy. you swallowed thickly, desperately trying to regain your composure. there was no way in hell that he was going to get you that easily.

"i dont know where that mouth has been baby" you replied with a sickly-sweet smile, before pushing him back by his shoulders and hopping off the counter, making quick progress out of the kitchen and as far away from him as possible.

you heard him chuckle before he shouted.

"see you on Monday girlfriend" you could hear the smirk in his voice, and it only made you wanna turn around and slap the shit out of him more, but you just rolled your eyes and continued your decent from the kitchen.

god this was going to be torture.

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taglist: @christinarowie332 @biimpanicking @chrisenthusiast @st4rswrld @mattslolita @flowerxbunnie @lovingsturniolo @its-jennarose @ermdontmindthisaccount @secret-sturniolo @rac00ns-are-c00l4 @justaslvttygirl @urfavstromboli @recklesssturniolo @delimeats-000 @gloomymatt @gwenlore @nickdevora @sturnioloenthusiast @savageking3 @iloveneilperry @ifilwtmfc @savageking3 @iammattsturniolo @sturniolos4lifee @honestlybabymiracle

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fairlyang · 4 months

Text

Thigh riding 🕷️

you are peer pressured to somehow help Miguel from the hell of a week he's had

w/c: 5.5K

pairing: miguel o’hara x f!reader

tags: 18+ smut, no use of y/n, lil plot, angy Miguel, going in with no plan, pestering, lots of tension, giving in, making out, thigh riding, jerking him off, tasting each other, cum

notes: the beginning of this I reused for “prank” but that was an og idea I abandoned then did end up using 💀

Miguel had been stressed, annoyed, and overworked for the past week and a half. No one even dared to go into his office or bothered to start up a conversation if they saw him walk the hallways of HQ. Not even Jess.

But that didn't stop Gwen from plotting something, because "why not."

"He will literally kill anything that comes within a 100 feet radius of him-" Miles says making me scoff.

"1000." I mutter shaking my head.

"Okay but we need to help him out somehow-" Gwen starts to say and I widen my eyes.

"Gwen, he will literally kill someone on instant impact-"

"Don't exaggerate-" she starts to say and I cut her off grabbing the ends of my mask and take it off for dramatic effect.

"I saw a glimpse of both veins yesterday." I say and shiver in exaggerated horror. "From afar."

They both turn to look at me with widened eyes. "Neck and forehead?" Miles asks with his mouth agape.

I nod and scoff, "So if you want a death wish....."

"I just feel bad-" she says and sighs. "There must be some way we can distract or help him?"

"I mean I feel bad too, it's not a nice thing to see... but what can we do?" I say and sigh.

Helping him or even bothering up to talk to him would be like talking to a concrete wall. Impossible and won't do anything.

"Maybe take him to one of those rooms where you hit garbage with a bat." Miles says and shrugs.

"A rage room? You suggest we take our boss to a rage room?" I ask and laugh. "Then he'd just get offended we think he has anger issues."

"Think?" I hear a familiar British voice speak and look up seeing Hobie walk towards our table.

I snicker then bite my lip. I'll shut up, Miguel could appear out of thin air. "Tell Gwen that we shouldn't be messing with the devil reincarnate."

"She and Miles shouldn't. Hell I definitely shouldn't..... but....." he trails on as he sits next to me and I groan.

"Do not even-"

"Perfect so you know where I'm going with this. Have fun-"

"Absolutely fucking not-"

"But why-"

"I don't wanna die!!"

"No, you won't-"

"He doesn't even have spidey senses and he's somehow just gonna sense the air being different before I even walk in-"

"Calm down-"

"He's fucking built different Hobie I'd be a goner-"

"Calm the fuck down!"

"Do you want me dead?!?" I hiss and he chuckles shaking his head at me and sits across from me.

"What don't you get- listen... he might dislike the rest of us. A lot.. but you're different-"

"Don't say that-“

"It's true and you know it!" He exclaims laughing at my reaction and I bite my lip looking down. There's no way....

I sigh and take a deep breath. Oh god.

"How the fuck do I change his mood though? I can't be too chirpy or pester him. Both are things I'm an expert in but won't help- it'll make shit more fucked-" I whine and groan.

"You can figure it out. You of all people can figure something out...." Miles cuts in and I roll my eyes.

"Come on arañita-" he teases and i scoff. (little spider)

"Oh fuck off-"

"See you're the only one that is even worthy of a nickname by the devil." Hobie teases with a smirk and I scoff.

Fuck-

"I never-" I freeze, eye widened. The realization hit me like a ton of bricks.

All three turn to look at me and give me a look. I purse my lips and close my eyes. I’m the only one worthy of a nickname? Really? just me- Did it really have to be me? I mean he does tolerate me. My presence. On a regular basis.... barely...

Shit.

I sigh and look back at them. "FINE." I mutter and stand up.

Gwen lets out a sigh and Miles covers his mouth not wanting to laugh. I glare at him and he lets out a snicker. "Miles Morales-"

"My bad!!" He says and covers his mouth again.

"If you don't hear from me within the next two hours, I'm as good as dead. Hobie you can keep my dog." I say semi jokingly and he nods giving me a thumbs up.

I roll my eyes at him and turn to Gwen, "You owe me one."

She waves me off letting out a laugh and I sigh. "Good luck." Miles says and fake salutes me.

I walk away from the table and instantly hear them snickering. Couldn't even wait for me to be gone-

What did I get myself into?

I let out a deep breath as I walk out of the cafeteria. I'm done for.

I walk the halls of HQ and head over to Miguel's office. i couldn't help but think. I guess it was kind of true? I bugged him but he never got like really mad? It's like he almost didn't mind my company? He's never kicked me out... what did that mean though?

Now the thing about Miguel is he's a very sarcastic, sometimes cold, very angry man. I somehow ended up kind of befriending him by calling him out on shit early on when I was recruited and he hates when I do it but somewhat respects I have the guts to do it at all. I play around with him a lot and at first it bugged him, a lot but then he started doing it back and that's the dynamic we have going.

Now this didn't make me an exception from when he gets pissed like he is now. At least that's what I was thinking..... but after seeing and hearing what Hobie was saying, I was conflicted. But why wouldn't he get mad at me? Because I was barely able to befriend him? I wasn't even close to the level of friendship he has with Jess and even she hasn't dared to talk to him.... or even Peter's friendship with him, and he's been with him through his ups and downs. So it wouldn't make any sense...

I shake off my thoughts and take a deep breath standing outside his door. I peep through one of the windows and he's looking at his screens. So he definitely hasn't heard me... yet.

I open the door as quietly and slowly as I can only to be met with his frustrated grunts at the screens in front of him. I quietly close the door and lean against the wall. He's swiping along muttering swears in English and Spanish making my eyes go wide.

I'm fucking done for. I didn't even come in with a fucking shed of an idea of how to distract him or cheer his ass up. I'm done. Me va gritar, me va chingar, y ni me va hacer caso- (he's gonna scream at me, beat my ass and he's not even gonna pay attention to me-)

Then he turns around to look me right in the eye, making me jump, and snarls, "You're breathing loud arañita, que quieres?" (what do you want?)

"You have some balls to come in here." He mutters before quickly turning back and mumbles, "Chingdada madre-" (mother fucker)

I cover my mouth to hide my nervous laughter and shake my head. I'm fucking breathing loud??? I knew this would happen-

"Be nice Miguelito, I just came to... check up on you.." I say and walk up to him slowly. I felt a bubble of nervousness form in my stomach and my hands were getting sweaty under my suit. This was gonna be bad...

He turns back around to me pressing a button on his watch making his mask disappear, showing me his distressed face and scoffs. "Check up on me? Oh so now I need hawk eyes all over me at all times?"

I gulp and stop just a few feet away from his platform. What the fuck do I even say???

"Do I look like I need checking up on?!?" He says and slams a hand on the desk making papers fly off and a pen roll off to the floor.

My eyes shift from his eyes to the floor to his neck. Oh god the veins... It's only the one on his neck- I'll try to keep it that way...

"Well...." I trail on and take a step up to his platform but still not within range to touch him or vice versa.

He completely turns to look at me and places a hand on his hip with a look on his face. What was it? Curiosity? Annoyance? Anger? I couldn't tell.

"Listen..." I start and put my hands up in defense, "we were starting to get worried-"

"We?"

"Yes. We. A handful of us..." I say and take another step forward and now having to look up at him but still not within reach. Oh fuck.

"And I think you've been in here too long... necesitas relajarte o distraerte." I say softly and put my hands down slowly. (you need to relax or distract yourself)

"Quieres que me relaje? Distráeme?" He asked unamused with a cocked eyebrow. (you want me to relax? To distract myself)

I simply nod and hold my breath.

Fuck fuck fuck.

"And how do you propose I do that?" He asks raising an eyebrow at me and I bite my lip.

That's such a good question....

"hmm... well I actually didn't really have an idea....." I trail on, scratching the back of my neck and he scoffs.

"So you came in here-" he starts but I interrupt.

"Now listen-"

"No, you listen-"

"Miguel-"

"You came here-"

"Yes-"

"With no idea-"

"Well Gwen was getting worri-"

"Gwen-"

"Well me too I guess but-"

"Oh so you were too-"

"Cállate-" (shut up)

"Escúchame arañita-" (listen to me little spider)

"And it's not that I didn't have a plan-"

"Really because it sure sounds-"

"I just didn't think-"

"You never do-"

"Cabron-" (asshole/bitch)

"Latosa." He snarls and I scoff. (annoying ass)

"Mendigo-" I blurt out and cross my arms against my chest. Then it hits me. (asshole but more aggressive maybe bastard fits)

Fuck.

He walks towards me giving me a glare and I freeze. This is it. I've lived a decent life- I got to enjoy my spider powers for as long as I could, helped a ton of people. But this is it-

He steps in front of me and I bite my lip looking at his chest too fucking petrified to look him in the eye. I bring my arms down to my sides and widen my eyes. Oh god why did he have to be so fucking intimidating.

He unfortunately gets rid of my thoughts and takes care of my lack of eye contact by lifting my chin up with two fingers. I gulp and stare into his eyes.

Amusement. Shock.

Then I look down at his lips. A smirk?

Huh?

"Repeat what you said." He demands and I stifle a laugh.

He was enjoying this? Maybe all he needed was a little pestering? Shockingly enough- could he have missed me- nah.... that's a stretch.

I look directly into his eyes and cross my arms against my chest. "Men-di-go." I say slowly making sure to annunciate every syllable exaggeratedly. I purse my lips and widen my eyes slightly.

I'm playing with fire. No- worse- a fucking ticking time bomb.

He raises an eyebrow with a shocked expression and I have the urge to burst out laughing but I don't want to make this any worse. Then in a swift movement his hand is gripping my jaw and my breath hitches in my throat. He tilts his head and leans down so I can't look at anything besides his eyes.

Don't laugh. Don't laugh. Don't laugh.

He narrows his eyes down and I'm on the verge of breaking. I bite my lip, my heartbeat quickens, my cheeks grow red. His stare was intense. Neither of us looking away.

His grip was then softer, for a split second before he takes another step forward making me yelp as my lower back hit one of his desks.

His body towered over mine and his hands were then gripping the desk behind me, or on each side of my body so I had nowhere to go. I was trapped but it didn't feel intimidating. He didn't look like he was going to pounce. I let my hands stay on my sides and I couldn't move. I felt like I was frozen.

What the fuck was this?

My breathing was a bit unsteady and I couldn't do anything. Why'd I feel like I was in a trance?

My mind then took an unexpected turn from being nervous to intrigued. Excited. And I couldn't help but take a close notice of his features. His pretty crimson eyes. His high cheekbones. His thick eyebrows. His full lips. His big nose- we all know what they say about big noses-

No—

I then feel an oh so familiar feeling appear in my stomach and I gulp. Oh fuck.

My eyes slowly made their way down and really took in everything. I've never been so close to this man... ever... I was able to see everything-

His chiseled jawline that genuinely looked like it was sculpted by gods. Then I realized how much bigger and taller he was than me. He was huge. His broad shoulders. His toned chest. Muscular arms. Those biceps the size of my head. Which were all shown absolutely perfectly by his skintight suit.

Well every inch of him was shown to perfection, accentuating every curve, line, inch of his practically Greek god physique.

I then thought of escaping, my thoughts were going some place they've never been towards him, my breathing was unsteady, but then I felt his hands moving down to my waist making me take a deep breath in. What the fuck??? Que está tramando??? (what is he plotting???)

Suddenly as if a light switched in my brain I realized what I had to offer to relax or distract him.... I felt my cheeks get hot and I shift a tiny bit. Was I really going to-

I slowly looked back up at his eyes and he was already staring at me. He leans down a tiny bit, I could feel him breathing on my nose... I bite my lip and try to calm myself down. There's no way he's thinking the same I am.... Right?

His eyes had darkened and they looked glossy. The look in his eye- it was impossible to miss... oh my god-

I breathe out and slowly move my hand from my sides to go up to his chest. I prayed I wasn't reading shit incorrectly and leave my hands there gently. He didn't stop me. He didn't even flinch. Oh wow....

I didn't know where to go from here- I noticed his heartbeat going all over the place as well. Was he just as nervous as me? Just as excited?

Maybe he's had pent up arousal?

But do I help him?

He leans down a tiny bit more and our lips are now millimeters apart. His grip on my waist was firm and his body was against mine. I could now see the lust in his eyes and I have a feeling he sees it in mine. I was appalled. We've never, ever done anything like this. It didn't exactly feel wrong but it was odd? Different. Confusing. But felt right?

I slowly reach up to wrap my arms behind his neck and look into his eyes then down at his lips. They were right there.

He then clears his throat and I look back up into his eyes. "Creo que ya se como me puedo distraer." He whispers softly, his breath lightly hitting my lips, and I feel myself almost melt. (I think I know how I can distract myself)

So he was thinking the same as me.....

I nod in agreement, not trusting myself to speak and he takes that as his green light. I close my eyes and I feel the softness of his lips on mine. Instant sparks running through my body as I slowly kiss him back. I didn't think I would feel this way- hell I didn't think I'd ever kiss Miguel of all people... but it felt so good and natural...

I felt the flush of my cheeks grow warmer as I felt one of his hands going down to my hips and the other softly wrapped around my neck, and deepening the kiss at the same time.

I move my hands up to play with the ends of his curls and lightly tug on them making him let out a moan. I then slide my tongue into his mouth exploring every crevice as I feel his hands snake down and grope my ass, making a combination of a moan and groan leave my throat.

I feel him smirk before shoving his tongue in my mouth and I melt into his arms. He grabs the back of my thighs and lifts me onto the desk and stands in between my legs. I wrap them around his waist and bring him closer to me which makes him change the pace of the kiss, more passion, hunger, neediness.

I moan into his mouth and he pulls away making me whimper but his lips went down leaving wet kisses on my jaw, then moving down to my neck. I tilt my head to the side giving him more room as he licks a spot then sucking on it roughly making me gasp and grip onto his hair.

He groans against my skin and I feel my eyes fluttering as I feel heat go deep into my core. I was breathing heavily and the way I felt his hand go down to squeeze my thigh, definitely wasn't helping. His other hand was playing with my long hair as he left more love bites on my neck. By this time I felt like my neck was invaded with red marks, he would suck then lick it softly to ease the slight pain and repeat.

His hands were suddenly rougher on me, his hand on my thighs now nearing my inner thigh, trailing up and down, teasing me. He was now tugging on my hair making me head go back and he kissed up my throat sending shivers all throughout my body.

He pecks my lips softly then bites my bottom lip lightly. I cup his cheek and he suddenly picks me up so my legs are wrapped around his waist as he sits us down on the chair he has in his office.

I was sitting on his lap so I leaned down to kiss his neck making my way to his ear and nibble on it. I felt his breathing get harder and a groan leave his lips. I grind myself slowly onto him, I almost stopped when I felt him- he was so fucking hard...

I positioned myself properly and moved to grind directly on his bulge as I went down to kiss down his neck wanting to leave some marks on him. I found a spot and sucked on it harshly before licking it and moving my head towards his throat and kiss up it. I felt a groan against my mouth and I couldn't help but moan.

Why was that so hot?

I felt my wetness moving around between my thighs, I was possibly leaking through my suit- how the hell would that even be possible?

"Así- mm así mami-" he moans out and I move my hips a bit faster. I felt my eyes flutter and I felt like I could pass out already but I knew I had to stay in the moment. (Just like that)

I felt his hands grip on my hips helping me grind against him while my hands were behind his neck trying to steady myself. I moaned against his throat and I felt his hips buck up making his bulge directly rub against my clit. Fuck. "S-shit-" I murmur and feel my eyes closing.

"Would you get mad if I ripped your suit open?" He suddenly asks and I stop. I widen my eyes and I just look at him.

"A-Are you insane-"

"I could have Lyla make you a new one right now-"

"Don't call her now!!"

"I'm just saying-"

I then close my mouth and shake my head slowly. He motions for me to stand up and I get off his lap and stand in front of him with furrowed brows. He gets on his knees then in just a few seconds his hands go to my thighs as he rips the fabric of my suit, between my legs to be more specific. Now I just had a big hole between my thighs. "You owe me a new and improved suit by tomorrow." I mutter and he just chuckled and grabbed the back of my thighs.

He left small kisses on my inner thigh and I felt my legs shake. God how did he have this much of an affect on me-

I then suddenly feel cold and I look down and gasp at the sight. He used his fangs to rip my panties.

My mouth was wide open as he looks up at me with a smirk, my little blue thong between his fingertips. "Oh you sick f-" I start but then he spreads my legs apart and blows a small puff of air against my slit making me quiver.

I whine and he laughs. "Que decías nena?" He teases making me try to squeeze my thighs but he had a strong grip on them. That petname- (what were you saying baby girl?)

From his lips- madre mía- (oh my god-)

"S-sick fuck." I mutter and he smirks.

"Now I still want you riding my thigh... but I need to taste you." He growls and as soon as he finishes his sentence he licks a long strip on my already soaked pussy.

I moan and indistinctly move my hands down to his hair. He licks it softly at first until he went up to my swollen clit and kissed it, licked it then sucked on it harshly like a man that hasn't had dinner for weeks. He definitely was a starved man.

"M-Mig-" I moan out and buck my hips towards his face. He groans against my pussy and his hands grip the back of my thighs harder.

I move my hips back and forth and he continues eating out my pussy. His hands moved to smack my ass for a second and then up to my hips helping me grind against his mouth. "So good Miguel-" I murmur breathless.

He pulls away making me whimper until he brings a finger up to rub my swollen nub and I let out a moan. "Estas más deliciosa de lo que me imaginé arañita." He purrs looking right into my eyes. (you're more delicious than what I had imagined)

I whimper and close my eyes. This is really happening.... Miguel O'Hara is between my legs- I just felt his tongue on my pussy... he is on his fucking knees looking up at me- All it took to distract him was some pussy?

I come back to reality when I no longer feel his touch. I open my eyes to see he's stood back up. I look up at him as he back up to sit back up on the chair. Oh....

With one finger he motions for me to sit on his lap and I don't hesitate to walk back to him and place myself on his lap again. He shifts in the chair to have his left thigh directly on most of the chair then grabs my hips and make me lift one leg over his.

He brings my hips down my pussy now making contact with his suit. I gasp at the new texture and put my hands against his shoulders slowly moving. "Good girl." He purrs and his hands on my hips helping me move making it easier for me.

"I- but y-your suit-" I stammer and try to stop but his hands make me continue moving.

"It's fine." He whispers and presses on his watch and I watch as the lower half of his body is soon exposed as the pixels of his suit disintegrate.

My pussy was now directly on his toned thigh and it felt so good. My eyes begin fluttering again as I move my hips rubbing myself against his now soaked thigh. I then open them again and instantly take notice he's completely bare.

My breath hitched at my throat when I looked at his thick cock that was already throbbing and leaking with precum. I widen my eyes and gulp. There was no fucking way he'd fit... as if he read my mind he chuckles and lifts my chin up to look at him then holds my hands. "We don't have to go all the way- if anything I think seeing you cum will do it for me." He says and I feel my cheeks grow warm.

I subconsciously squeeze my thighs together and he groans. I bite my lip and roll my hips back and forth again, my hands going back to his shoulders to steady myself. He lets out a deep breath and his hands go back to my hips. "Look at you fucking dripping on me pretty girl." He purrs making me blush.

I look down at his cock and bring a hand down to gently grab it then spit on it. I start stroking him with my saliva dripping down a vein and I feel myself getting wetter. He groans, his grip on my hips now tighter as I grind myself faster on him. "M-Miguel-"

"You're doing so good arañita." He murmurs as I stroke him faster letting out moans of my name.

I whimper and feel my thighs starting to hurt but I was also slowly feeling my orgasm coming in. "Asi nena- se siente tan rico-" he praises breathlessly. (Just like that baby girl- it feels so good-)

He lays his head back and I let out bundles of moans and whines on top of him. He bucks his thigh up making me whimper in pure pleasure. My eyes were glossy, my body was growing tired but I was so close and he was too I could tell by the way his cock was twitching in my hand. I lean forward closer to him to have somewhat easier access to jerking him off.

One of his hands lets go of my hip and cups my cheek as he leans in to kiss me roughly. It was the sloppiest kiss I've ever endured in my life but I didn't mind and I kissed him back with just as much of his neediness. He moved his thigh up and down making my tremble and moan against his lips. "No pares-" he mumbles against my lips and I slide my tongue in his mouth stroking him even faster. (Don't stop-)

I feel him groan in my mouth and I melt into his shoulder almost giving out. Both his hands were back on my hips pushing them back and forth as he saw I was slowing down a bit. How kind.

I pull away and l lean my forehead against his, breathing heavily, legs trembling. My orgasm quickly took over making me shake more and let out shaky moans. I stop moving trying to calm my rapid heartbeat as I felt Miguel's grip dropped from my hips and to hold my other hand. Our fingers intertwined and my hand still didn't stop but that's when I looked down at his cock in my hands and realized he was cumming so I slowed down, letting him ride his high.

He let out so many grunts and moans bucking his hips into my hand. His streaks of cum shot up to my hands, his stomach, and my thighs. I chuckle looking down at the mess he made and bite my lip.

It's only fair I get to taste him too.

I bring my hand up to my mouth and lick off his cum that landed on my hand. I hear him gasp when I swallowed and I look up at him with a smirk. "I needed to taste you too." I say and bite my lip.

He snickers and shakes his head. I then notice the slight tug of a smile forming. Jesus.

Oh god- why the fuck did that give me butterflies.... Why did he look so good.

I looked at him, eyes hazed, hair pulled back, he was sweaty but he looked fine. So fucking good.

I can't believe we did that- us.

He was still holding my hand and I feel myself blush. Fuck- well now what?

I let out a sigh and try to stand up but instantly felt the pain in my thighs. "Fuck-" I groan and sit back down on him.

"Come here I got you." He says softly and moves my left leg over.

I lay my head against his shoulder and I feel him slowly lifting me up. I wrap my arms behind his neck and nuzzle between his chest. I felt fucking exhausted. "You did so good arañita." He whispers and I fight back a smile.

He walked up off deeper into his office, probably taking us to his room considering he completely fucked up my suit and my whole pussy was on display. I pull away and point at him. "New suit-"

"Yeah yeah yeah- para mañana. I got it." He retorts and I laugh. (For tomorrow)

He placed me down on his bed and I yawn. My body felt so sore and I look down at my thighs. Still had his cum on me... I bite my lip and shake my head in disbelief. How did this happen?

He walked over to his dresser and grabbed a shirt and some sweats. I scoff and shake my head. "Those won't fit."

He rolls his eyes at me and throws them at me, I catch them before they can whack me in the face. "Rude." I mutter and start talking off the remains of my suit.

I grab the ends from my neck and pull it down my body. Thank god I decided to wear a bra today.

"Where the fuck is my-?" I start to say then look up at him mouth agape.

I look at his hand and sure enough there it is. My thong. "Give it-"

"Ask nicely."

"I literally just helped distract you from your shitty ass week- dámelo!!!" I demand and stand up somehow gaining the strength to walk over to him. (give it to me!!!)

His eyes gaze down at my bra and I roll my eyes. "Want the matching bra?" I tease and he smirks.

"Well it is only fair I get bo-"

"Estas loco- now give it!!!" I whine and reach for it but unfortunately he was faster than me and lifts it high above my head. (You're crazy-)

Why did he have to be built like a giant at desperate times like this....

"I have an idea-" he starts but I interrupt.

"Dámelo latoso." I say sternly and he scrunches his nose. (Give it to me annoying fuck)

"You're not convincing me very well..." he trails on and I shake my head.

"Fine." I say walking back to his bed and putting on the clothes he gave me.

I slip on the big sweatpants and groan. I pull on the drawstrings to the tightest it can go and tie it. "It looks like I have no ass-" I whine and roll my eyes.

I quickly slip on the shirt and take off my bra. I slip the straps off my arms through the arm holes and then take the bra off from under. I throw it at him and with ease he caught it.

"Maybe this'll be how we can calm your ass down...." I say and give him a wink before walking out of his room.

"You're the perfect distraction arañita." He calls out and I bite my lip.

I take a few steps and I was back in his office before I quickly ran out. I open the door, slip out then close it. I lean against the door and can't help the smile the appeared on my face. Wow.

#miguel ohara #across the spiderverse #miguel ohara imagine #miguel ohara smut #miguel o hara #atsv miguel #miguel spiderman #miguel smut #miguel ohara oneshot #miguel ohara x y/n #miguel o’hara x reader #spiderman 2099 #miguel o'hara #miguel ohara x you #miguel ohara x reader #miguel o’hara imagine #miguel o’hara smut #miguel o’hara x y/n #miguel o’hara fic

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sunbentsky-archived · 2 years

Note

*You have a BEAUTIFUL carrd. I'm obsessed with those colors. And your fc for Jess is perfect!

Is there something that belongs to one of Jess's parents that she holds onto? Such as a ring of her mothers or her father's watch, etc. Did she take something that they had at the moment they died?

(Thank you!! :') The best part about having a multi is that I can just choose whatever aesthetic I want without sticking to what's relevant to a specific muse lol.)

Hmm no, I don't think so. She didn't take anything, but maybe Dutch still has some of their stuff around his bunker. I can't see her as the type to hold onto mementos, though, so I doubt she wanted to have anything to do with that. She has some line in the game about how not owning anything is the best way to take care of your stuff, and I think that goes beyond physical possessions for Jess. The less she has, the less can be taken away from her, be it objects or people.

#tragedyfollowed #JESS ASKS: zero fucks given #JESS ABOUT: everybody’s got a talent; mine is putting arrows through the heads of people who wanna kill me #thank you for the ask!! you're v sweet <3

0 notes

elliesbelle · 5 months

Text

nobody compares to you

chapter 13

pairing: ellie x reader

synopsis: you're in your junior year of college and at a party, you run into the girl who broke your heart: ellie williams. despite the time it took to reset your life, will you risk a broken heart again for her?

content warnings: modern college au, cursing, angst, dealer!ellie, mentions of marijuana and descriptions of its usage, descriptions of anaphylactic shock, brief mention of needles, descriptions of anxiety, mentions of death, descriptions of jealousy, mentions of breakups, several flashback scenes, mentions of LSD and its usage, descriptions of acid tripping, ellie's POV, minors do not interact

word count: 9k

chapters: one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven, twelve, thirteen, fourteen

series masterlist

my masterlist

i have a ko-if if you like my work so much that you feel compelled to tip me ♡︎

the "nobody compares to you" spotify playlist

songs featured in this chapter (including a surprise audio AND drawing commission in the middle of the fic):

the aaron taylor song “i think i love you again”

the carpenters song “merry christmas darling”

palestine will be free

“Where the fuck even are you?”

“Not home.”

“Well, no shit. I’m literally sitting on your living room couch, dumbass.”

“Get out of my apartment, weirdo.”

“Stop procrastinating, asshole.”

Ellie rolls her eyes as a couple of bright yellow leaves slowly dance down on the pavement from the nearby trees on her path home. One hand holds her phone up in front of her with Dina’s face front and center on the screen through FaceTime.

Having just dropped off a rather large order to a couple of stoner sophomores living on campus, Ellie’d decided to take the longer, more scenic route home instead of the usual way she’d go every day. She had a “date” lined up with Daniela in about an hour or so, a meeting she wasn’t particularly looking forward to being present for. Having no real enthusiasm to actually be on time to meet up with her, Ellie was purposely and leisurely delaying her return home to get ready.

Dina, busy lounging on the couch in Jesse and Ellie’s living room, busies herself by finishing a bland, microwaveable box of mac and cheese she’d found shoved in the back of the duo’s full freezer. She was casually killing time talking to Ellie through video chat while she waited for Jesse to finish getting ready for their movie date night.

Jesse enjoyed dragging Dina along to a movie theater in the neighbouring downtown area that showed old and foreign films. Back home in Jackson throughout their childhood, he and Ellie would make Dina sit through old sci-fi pictures, cult horror films, martial arts movies in a completely different language and with no subtitles. Dina would sit in the middle of the two in complete boredom as she listened to them psychoanalyzing background characters who had two lines and spending hours explaining their personal interpretations of a single camera angle in some inconsequential scene.

When they all began attending university, Jesse was over the moon upon discovering the nearby theater and the kind of films they would show. Dina complained every single time, but she secretly enjoyed these date nights regardless, always arguing with Jesse on the way home with her own analyses of the movie they’d just seen. She was a little less enthusiastic this time, however, upon hearing that the film they were about to go see was an early 2000s Bollywood movie that had a running time of nearly four hours.

Jesse had just gotten home from working out at the gym and was busy showering, and Dina decided to preoccupy herself in the meantime by thoroughly berating Ellie for her disinterest and voluntary tardiness for her “date” later that evening.

“El, I really don’t understand why you’re even bothering with her,” Dina says after a huge, wet slurp of her mac and cheese. “Leave that poor freshman girl alone. You really don’t even seem to like her that much.”

“She’s still got Joel’s jacket and I want it back.” Ellie shrugs nonchalantly.

“Maybe if you didn’t pass that shabby old thing around to every new girl you see for a month…” Dina replies, not bothering to mutter under her breath.

“Oh, leave me the fuck alone, Woodward,” Ellie says, chuckling. “Slutshamer.”

Jesse jaunts into the living room, jet black hair damp from the shower and fully dressed, and spots Ellie’s face on Dina’s tiny screen. He waltzes towards the couch and, without any warning, stealthily snatches Dina’s phone right out of her hand.

“Hey!” Dina protests indignantly, trying to reach for it back.

Jesse ignores her as Ellie laughs.

“Yo, what the fuck, Williams.” Jesse scolds the auburn-haired girl.

“Wassup, Chang.”

“What the hell did you ditch me and the gym for earlier? Today’s our cardio day.”

“Had a huge delivery I needed to make,” Ellie shrugs. “Wanted two 40 bags on top of a few lavender pre-rolls. And they lived on the opposite side of campus.”

“A likely excuse,” Jesse scoffs. “I think you’ve been harbouring a secret, years-long grudge against me and actually hate me for some reason.”

“Oh, it’s not a secret. I do hate you.”

“Dickhead.” Jesse chuckles as Dina heartily laughs behind him with a mouthful of mac and cheese.

Before Jesse can continue to berate his best friend, his own phone rings noisily from the inside of one of his jeans pockets.

“Oh, look. Someone who actually loves and appreciates me.” He says indignantly, handing small-scale Ellie back to Dina.

Ellie playfully rolls her eyes, trying to ignore the fact that Jesse’s phone is currently buzzing and blaring with the personalized ringtone he’d set for your contact years ago shortly after you’d all met for the first time.

Dina, recognizing the familiar sound as well and noticing Ellie’s tight lips and rigid expression, quickly attempts to change the subject.

“So where exactly are you gonna be meeting up with the Daniela girl?” Dina quickly asks Ellie at the same time that Jesse booms, “Good evening once again to my absolute favourite person in the whole world!”

Ellie hesitantly begins to reply to Dina but cuts off almost immediately when she hears Jesse’s tone turn serious and mutter a name she’d come to despise.

“Oh. Hey, Anderson. What’s up?” Jesse says blankly. “Where’s—”

“Oh, shit.” Dina inadvertently murmurs as Ellie’s face immediately goes red with fury.

“Why the fuck is Anderson calling Jesse on her phone?” Ellie demands quietly of Dina.

“I mean… she is on a date with her tonight…” Dina reluctantly admits, knowing that lying to Ellie about your current whereabouts is pointless after figuring Jesse would eventually blab it to her anyway.

“Are you fucking serious?” Ellie seethes.

“I don’t really know why she’d be calling Jesse, though. That doesn’t make any sense...” Dina says, setting down her fork and turning her head back towards her boyfriend as Ellie watches intently him from the corner of Dina’s phone screen.

Both girls stare Jesse down as he intently listens to the other end of the line, the two getting more and more nervous as his face gets stonier as each second passes. When he finally speaks, his voice is grave and urgent.

“Is she breathing?”

“What?” Both Dina and Ellie simultaneously say in distress, which Jesse ignores.

“What did she eat?” He asks Abby.

“What’s going on?” Dina implores of him fearfully, sitting up straighter in her seat and completely abandoning her partially eaten mac and cheese on the coffee table.

Jesse holds up a pointer finger as an indication that he needs to keep listening as Ellie hushes her sternly, fiercely trying to eavesdrop on Jesse’s conversation.

“Okay. What did you eat?” Jesse questions.

The way Jesse’s face falls elicits a sharply drawn breath from Dina and drains all the colour from Ellie’s face.

“Did she have any?” He asks.

While Jesse listens for Abby’s lengthy response, Ellie quickly averts her eyes back to Dina.

“Dina.” She says hastily. “Where did Anderson take her tonight?”

“Orchards. It’s that fancy restaurant that’s like, right by here.”

“I know. They serve a lot of seafood there, right?”

“I don’t know.”

“Do you think Anderson ordered any?”

“El, how am I supposed to know that?”

“Well, does Anderson know that she’s deadly fucking allergic to shellfish? That she can’t even fucking touch that shit?”

Dina’s terrified face suddenly goes completely pale before she responds.

“I-I don’t know...”

“Does she have any pockets or some kind of bag with her?” They hear Jesse say. “See if she has her EpiPen in there.”

“E-El… I don’t think she does.” Dina stammers.” I helped her get dressed tonight and I saw her before she left, and I-I don’t think—”

Ellie nearly drops her phone on the pavement from how clammy her hands have become from complete fear. When she hears Jesse fiercely mutter a furious “fuck,” she immediately breaks into a sprint.

“Dina!” Ellie demands. “Give me back to Jesse! Now!” Dina hastily hands her phone to her petrified boyfriend without question as he quickly asks Abby to stay calm and give him a quick second.

“Jess!” Ellie breathlessly yells, not bothering to keep her voice down and without any concern for the fellow students she was alarming as she ran by. “Go to my room right now and search in the bottom drawer of my desk!!!”

Promptly and silently, Jesse darts in the direction of Ellie’s bedroom with Dina following closely behind him.

“There’s an old EpiPen of hers somewhere in there! I think it’s probably a couple of months expired now, but grab it anyway!”

Jesse and Dina unceremoniously bust into Ellie’s bedroom and follow her instructions precisely. After forcibly yanking open the bottom-most drawer of her computer desk, they begin to desperately rifle through it. After a few seconds of frantic ransacking through its miscellaneous contents, Jesse pulls out a thick, plastic cylindrical object with tiny lettering embellished all over the translucent plastic.

“Look for the little slot on the side of it that shows you some liquid-y shit inside!” Ellie presses him. “Is it still completely clear and clean, or is it all brown and murky?”

“It’s clear.” Jesse replies after quickly inspecting the EpiPen.

“Okay, go!” Ellie orders. “Dina’s gonna call 911 right now! Orchards is right around the corner from our place, so run! Inject the needle on the outside of her thigh! And check her pulse and see if she’s breathing, ‘cause you’ll need to do CPR if she isn’t! Paramedics probably won’t get there for another five minutes or so, so you just gotta keep doing chest compressions until they can get there!”

Jesse nods and immediately sprints out of the room after handing Dina her phone, placing his own back to his ear and quickly informing Abby that he’d be there shortly, firmly asking her to check your pulse.

Dina sets her eyes on Ellie, pure terror engraved on her face.

“Ellie, s-shouldn’t we grab the EpiPen she has now in her apartment? I think I know where it is, probably. Isn’t that safer than—”

“Her apartment is fifteen minutes away from that restaurant and Jesse can get there in two! We can’t waste any more time!” Ellie clarifies quickly. “Now, I need you to hang up right away and call 911 and explain everything that’s just happened! Go!”

Ellie doesn’t bother waiting for Dina to end the call and roughly taps on the red button herself.

She shoves her phone into the pocket of her hoodie and quickens her pace.

Her lungs winded and her heart threatening to beat out of her chest, she couldn't seem to care any less about her own breathing at that very moment. She trusts nothing else but her own feet to get her exactly where she desperately needs to be. She sees nothing and no one else but the pavement directly in front of her, cutting across the university’s campus through the fastest route she can think of in the moment.

Despite never having been a religious person in any way, Ellie begins to plead a desperate prayer in her mind to whatever god or deity that could possibly exist that you were still breathing somehow and that Jesse had found you and gotten there in time.

She takes a moment to pull her phone out and check how long it’s been since she ended the FaceTime call with Dina, seeing that a little less than five minutes had just passed. She considers calling her once more for any updates; but not wanting to risk being a possible distraction in case Dina is needed in the moment, she ultimately decides against doing so and instead wills her feet to move faster.

Unwelcome thoughts begin to involuntarily flood Ellie’s mind as she sprints.

She thinks of the last time you’d seen each other: that night of your heart-to-heart dinner with Jesse at Sterling’s. It felt almost fated for her and Dina to walk into the same restaurant at the same time that the two of you had been meeting. Ellie recalls the identical look of dismay on both of your faces, equally overwhelmed at the sight of one another. She can still feel the angry yet doleful tears that fell down her red cheeks as she stormed away from the diner, threatening to expose endless repressed feelings of remorse and heartache.

She remembers the day she saw your sudden reunion with Abby Anderson, you dressed in that beautiful floral sundress and very obviously flirting with the tall, muscular blonde. Her nails were so angrily digging into her palms at the sight of you two that she can still feel the phantom marks that had nearly drawn blood. She’d nearly frightened Dina, who was lounging on the living room couch with a joint in hand, when she busted into her and Jesse’s apartment with immediate choice words that were aroused by her unbridled anger.

She recalls the last time you’d actually spoken to one other directly after that miserable, unfortunate night of the Sigma Eta party, how taken aback she was at how you were still so undeniably beautiful underneath the pale moonlight. Having been sitting on the hood of her Jeep while she watched in amusement at your futile attempts to keep yourself warm, she thinks of the way your eyes were furiously and desperately trying to avoid her piercing ocean green gaze. The memory of the angry, fleeting look you’d given Daniela when you’d obviously noticed Joel’s old motorcycle jacket resting on her shoulders is one she can never forget; nor could she the air of raw, bitter indignation that radiated off you at the sight of one of your signature lavender joints nestled in between Daniela’s lips.

She can still feel the visceral rage that sparked inside her from Frat Guy Adam’s casual cruelty towards you, followed by feelings of heartbreak at watching the way your face had fallen at his words. The sheer remorse from pathetically having done nothing right when it happened still weighs on her. Ellie can never forget the simultaneous feelings of shame and comfort she’d felt after your heated encounter with her in the bathroom of Sterling’s: shame from being forcibly confronted with a reminder of the deepest regret of her whole life; and comfort at finally being able to see with her own ocean green eyes, after so long, the face of a person she once adored more than she did anyone else in the world.

Maybe even still.

Ellie eventually finds herself at the intersection right where her shared apartment with Jesse is located. Her hasty pursuit is frustratingly impeded when she’s stopped by the angry, glowing red hand at the crosswalk she needs to get past to reach Orchards, cars endlessly coming one after the other. For a few moments, she’s at least able to catch a much-needed, painful breath.

While she bounces up and down on her feet in impatience, very seriously contemplating running across anyway and risking being hit by a speeding car, Ellie thinks of one thing and one thing only: the first moment her eyes met yours all those years ago. The moment when she knew, deep down and instinctively, that everything had changed.

She’s brutally broken out of her brief reverie by the blaring of sirens booming from around the corner. Her head immediately shoots towards the sound and she watches as two ambulances with flashing red and white lights speed down the road and towards what she believes is the direction of the nearest emergency room.

Ellie wastes no time bolting down the crosswalk the millisecond that the orange pedestrian signal finally blinks to white, sprinting down the street of Orchards. She’s somehow able to spot Dina’s figure in the middle of a small crowd of people gathered next to the restaurant and immediately sprints towards her. By the time Ellie is able to reach her, most of the unfamiliar bystanders have dispersed with whispers. Her heart races as she sees Dina’s cheeks wet and dripping endlessly with tears.

“Dina!” Ellie huffs, using the last of her breath and energy to dash to her side.

“Ellie!” Dina sighs in relief upon spotting her friend.

They envelop each other in a tight embrace, Dina hiccuping slightly into Ellie’s shoulder.

“What happened? Did you guys make it in time? Is she okay? Where is she? Where’s Jesse?” Ellie rambles.

“Sh-she’s okay, I think,” Dina stammers. “She was breathing when Jesse got here, but her pulse was really slow. The paramedics got here a few minutes after Jesse did.”

She sloppily wipes her eyes with the back of her hands before continuing.

“They said that the EpiPen probably saved her life, said that she would have had a lot less of a chance if we had just waited for them to arrive. Expired EpiPen was apparently better than nothing, as long as it wasn’t too far off from when it did expire.”

Ellie takes a relieved breath in at hearing this.

“Thank god. Thank fucking god. That’s what I thought, but I-I honestly wasn’t sure. I couldn’t remember clearly in the moment.”

“How did you even know that?” Dina asks her in genuine curiosity.

“I-I… wh-when we were, you know, t-together…” Ellie mutters awkwardly. “I made sure to know, j-just in case.”

“Oh, Ellie…”

Ellie wrings her hands together and clears her throat in embarrassment.

“So where’s Jess? Where’s Anderson?” She asks, changing the subject and voice dripping in disdain at the last word.

“Jesse rode in the ambulance with her and the paramedics, and Abby said that she’d follow behind in her car,” Dina replies. “I stayed behind ‘cause I figured you were on your way and I wanted to be able to tell you what happened in person.”

“Thank you, D, seriously.”

Dina stares at Ellie earnestly for a moment.

“You really do still love her.” Dina says, not as a question but as a statement.

Ellie doesn’t respond to this remark, her lips tight and her ocean green eyes unreadable.

“Come on. Let’s go see her.”

You had been brought to St. Peter’s Hospital, the closest one located to your university. When Ellie and Dina had gotten there, they found Jesse sitting alone in the mostly empty waiting room. He was staring up at the dreary off-white ceiling, his left leg nervously bouncing up and down as one of his hands gripped his right knee. When he spots the two girls enter the room, he immediately jumps out of his seat to meet them. He pulls his girlfriend into a tight embrace and gives her a tender kiss on the forehead, and then he places a firm and reassuring hand on his best friend’s shoulder.

“How is she?” Ellie asks nervously.

“Unconcious still, but she’s alive,” Jesse replies somberly. “The paramedics in the ambulance told me that they were pumping her full of adrenaline; and so now, they’re either still doing that or they’re just trying to get her heart rate back to normal. Apparently, her tongue was so swollen and her throat closed up completely, so they’ve got to reopen her airways ‘cause she’s having a hard time breathing.”

“Oh, god…” Dina chokes out.

“Don’t worry, D.” Jesse consoles. “She’s gonna be fine. She’s strong, and we know that. They’re taking care of her, and she’ll hopefully be awake soon.”

“I know, I know…” Dina sniffles. “It’s really not like me to fall apart like this. But she’s like a sister to me, you know. I mean, she basically is.”

“Me too, babe. Don’t worry. We all love her too. No need to explain.” Jesse says.

Dina gives him a soft smile as he gives her another tender forehead kiss. Watching such a small but affectionate scene between the two makes Ellie feel as if she’s intruding on a private moment she shouldn’t be witnessing. Jealousy in the form of a knife in the stomach twists inside her while her heart aches to feel that kind of intimacy.

“Oh, shit, I should call her uncle,” Dina suddenly realizes, pulling away from Jesse slightly. “I think I still have his number from freshman year. He should know what’s going on.”

“Good idea.” Jesse agrees. “He’s one of her emergency contacts, but I’m not sure if he knows just yet.”

“I’ll call the girls too,” She continues, referring to the other girls who lived in the Wilson Valley building with you and Dina during your freshman year. “I know that they’ll also want to know.”

She pulls her phone out of her pocket before muttering a quick “be right back” and exiting the waiting room.

Jesse and Ellie watch her walk out silently. After a moment or two, Jesse speaks up.

“Are you okay, El?”

“What do you mean?”

“Come on, man. Don’t do that. You know what I mean.”

“I’m fine, Jess.”

“Dude.”

“What?”

Jesse turns his whole body to face Ellie straight on, crossing his arms against his chest and frowning.

“You’re completely red in the face, you look the most stressed out than I’ve ever seen you, and you’re here.”

“So?” Ellie replies stubbornly.

“Williams.” Jesse stresses sternly. “You know Dina and I saw everything you had in that desk drawer.”

Ellie says nothing in reply and Jesse continues.

“You literally still had her old EpiPen from like, two years ago. That entire drawer was full of her shit.”

Ellie clenches her jaw and balls up her fists.

“You still have all those old letters she used to write you all the time, all these mementos and knickknacks from when you two were together. You even have Barbie Bear.” Jesse points out. “Do you know that she’s been chewing Dina out nonstop about her for years because she thinks Dina stole her?”

“Look, she and I just stopped talking to each other all of a sudden before sophomore year. I never had an actual chance to give her all of her shit back—”

“You literally could have given them to me or Dina or even any of the Wilson girls so we could return them.”

“Look—”

“And what about the rest of it? Shit that you didn’t have to actually give back to her? It’s been years. You could have easily thrown it all out.”

“You don’t understa—”

“You didn’t even bother leaving all that shit back home in Jackson. You brought it all here with you to keep in our apartment.”

“I… I—”

“She could have fucking died tonight, El. And you’re still bullshitting me.”

“Jesse.” Ellie croaks out through quivering lips and watery eyes.

“You saved her life. She could have very well been in a worse state right now if it weren’t for you. You told me and Dina what to do. Nobody told you to do any of that. And by the sorry state of you, it looks like you just ran three marathons in a row just to get here and make sure she was okay in person.”

Tears threaten to flow down from Ellie’s ocean green eyes, and it takes every ounce of strength that she has left in her to will them not to fall.

“She means so, so much to me and Dina. And to a whole bunch of other people too. When she gets hurt, we feel that shit too.” Jesse says. “I need you to get your motherfucking shit together, Williams. Now.”

Before Ellie can even form some kind of thought in response to his declaration, Dina suddenly reenters the waiting room.

“Called her uncle and told him everything I know. He’s currently looking up the first flight out and he’ll hopefully be here sometime tomorrow.” Dina informs the pair as she walks over. “Just got off the phone with Astrid too. Most of the girls are either busy or asleep by now, but she said she’ll let them know too as soon as possible. If she’s awake tomorrow, they’ll try to come by to pay her a visit.”

“Okay, good.” Jesse nods in response. “Thanks for doing that, D. I was so focused on what’s been going on, and none of that even crossed my mind.”

“They deserved to know.” Dina smiles sadly before suddenly frowning. “But why did she even go into anaphylactic shock in the first place? They both asked me, but I realized that you never actually told either of us and I didn’t really know what to tell them.”

“She and Anderson were making out, and Anderson had eaten some seafood bouillabaisse for dinner. Apparently, it had a bunch of chopped-up shrimp in it that she couldn’t see.” Jesse says plainly.

Dina inadvertently glances at Ellie in slight sympathy, but Jesse looks at her with zero remorse on his face.

“She didn’t tell Abby that she was really allergic?” Dina asks.

“Anderson apparently had no idea, said that she wouldn’t have ordered it if she knew in the first place.” Jesse clarified.

“Anderson should have fucking double-checked re-fucking-gardless.” Ellie angrily interjects.

“It’s not Abby’s fault, Ellie. There’s no way she could have just known instinctively.” Dina reasons.

“Doesn’t matter. Isn’t she studying to be a fucking doctor? Isn’t that some basic shit that they teach at med school or whatever? She should have known better.” Ellie seethes. “Where the fuck is she, anyway? I thought she came along.”

“She went down to the food court for a breather.” Jesse says.

“Oh, she needs a breather?” Ellie sneers. “Yeah, go ahead and catch your breath when the person you almost killed tonight can’t even fucking breathe—”

“Ellie!” Dina scolds.

“Whatever.” Ellie scoffs.

“El,” Dina suddenly brings up. “Have you talked to Daniela yet?”

“What about her?” Ellie asks.

“Weren’t you supposed to meet up with her…” Dina checks the time on her phone. “... almost an hour ago?”

“So?”

“Ellie.”

Ellie clicks her tongue.

“Fine, let me text her right now that I won’t make it—” She begins to say begrudgingly, but she cuts herself off as someone else enters the waiting room.

Abby Anderson quietly walks through the door, sipping a plain black coffee from a styrofoam cup. She looks up from her drink and gives Jesse an awkward but polite smile which he respectfully returns along with a nod.

Ellie’s entire body goes cold with frigid, icy hatred, exacerbated when her furious ocean green eyes suddenly meet with Abby Anderson’s tired sky blue ones.

“Actually,” Ellie suddenly says. “I’m gonna give her a call and see if she’s still free to meet up tonight. I still want my jacket back.”

Both Dina and Jesse look as if they’re each about to interject with a response, but Ellie is too quick for either of them to say a word.

Ellie storms out of the waiting room, not giving a second look at Abby Anderson.

Ellie throws Joel’s old leather jacket onto her bed, sighing softly. She sheds her sweaty grey hoodie and throws it down next to the jacket before pulling her phone out. She proceeds to call Jesse, but she’s greeted with ten, empty-sounding buzzes before being redirected to his voicemail. She then attempts to call Dina but is greeted with an immediate automated message stating that the call could not be completed.

Groaning in exasperation, Ellie collapses into her desk chair and roughly kicks off her Converse. After a moment or two, she notices the bottom-most drawer of her desk and the way it’s hanging off the frame precariously. Sighing, she crouches down on the floor and begins to rearrange its previous contents.

At first, she shoves items back into the drawer at random, but she immediately pauses once her hand grazes across the fur of a pink stuffed animal.

Barbie Bear.

She picks up the stuffed animal and stares sadly into its plastic eyes. Noticing that the light pink ribbon around its neck has gotten loose, Ellie delicately attempts to retie it back into a bow. After a couple of lopsided tries, she’s eventually satisfied once she’s able to center the ribbon correctly. She carefully places Barbie Bear back into the drawer before returning to restore its contents with more consideration.

After replacing a few pairs of old earrings of yours into a small box, she picks up a stack of old letters that she’d tied together with a piece of brown twine. Ellie resists the urge to go through each of them, but when she notices that one had fallen out of the stack and is now lying on the floor, her willpower dwindles almost instantly.

Ellie picks up the envelope gingerly, almost as if she’s afraid that her touch will cause it to burst into flames. She reads her name on the front written with green ink and flips it over to where the flap of the envelope is torn open. She runs her fingers over the wax seal that had secured the letter inside: the design of Saturn amongst several stars. Nervously, she slips the card out from inside and unfolds it to reveal your handwriting.

Dear Ellie,

It is currently 4:27 A.M. and I can’t sleep, and for some reason, I can’t stop watching that story you posted on Instagram earlier over and over. The one of you singing and playing your electric guitar to that Aaron Taylor song. Not to be gay as fuck, but it is so easy to get lost in the sound of your voice. Also, I really like your lips. And your hands.

I know I said this yesterday already, but you’ve been overworking yourself way too much lately. I’m glad that you’ve been putting a lot of effort into your schoolwork, but have you eaten? When was the last time you had a full meal (microwaveable ramen does not count)? Have you been taking any time for yourself? It’s really sweet that you still make time to come hang out with me most days, but you need some you time too, you know.

Not that I don’t love seeing your goofy face all the time. I don’t know, I think me writing all that out is me casually acknowledging that I have attachment issues and attempting to work on it. Oh, well. I’m pretty attached to you, fucking dork.

Okay, heading to bed now. Hopefully, I’ll actually be able to fall asleep this time. But hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow (I know I just said that you need to take more time for yourself, but shut up). You’re always the best part of my day.

Ellie can’t seem to let herself read the final piece of the letter, the part where you’d signed your name.

She delicately folds the card once more and places it back into its envelope. Turning it over in her hand and tenderly running her fingers over where you’d addressed her name, she wonders if your handwriting is still the same as it was all those years ago.

Reluctantly, Ellie tucks the letter back into the stack before tying them all securely together once more.

Earlier That Evening

Ellie was fifty-two minutes late to her supposed “date” with Daniela. This was Ellie’s third failed attempt at reacquiring Joel’s old motorcycle jacket, and they had previously decided to meet up outside the coffee shop on campus where Daniela recently started working after the end of her shift.

But after Ellie’s unexplained absence from their meeting, Daniela bitterly stormed back home to her dorm. She had half a mind to say no when Ellie called her with a half-assed explanation and asked if she could come over to retrieve her jacket. But after giving in, Ellie arrived at her dorm room within half an hour.

It wasn’t a total shock to Ellie when she was greeted with a look of annoyance when Daniela opened the door for her. Ellie attempted to feign a guilty expression, but all that she could muster was an indifferent grimace. Daniela said nothing as she silently beckoned Ellie to follow her and come in, an AirPod playing music loudly in one ear.

Ellie took a quick glance around the place, never having actually been inside Daniela’s room before. The twin-size beds, old wooden dressers, and scuffed-up desks were an all-too-familiar sight for Ellie, having gone through the same torturous experience herself only a couple of years back in her freshman year. But a few things were different as Daniela and her roommate had attempted to really personalize their living area. Ellie tried not to make a face of repulsion when spotting a few Taylor Swift concert posters above one of the desks.

Daniela plopped onto, what Ellie had assumed was, her bed but made no gesture that welcomed Ellie to do the same. She merely stared at her passively as Ellie tried to avoid looking her directly in the eye.

“You’re an hour late.” Daniela pointed out.

“Only fifty-two minutes late.” Ellie attempted to joke.

Daniela only hummed in response, unsmiling. She picked up a faded brown jacket that was sitting on top of her pillow by the collar and handed it over to Ellie.

“Thanks,” Ellie muttered, tucking the jacket under her arm. “Uh, thanks a lot for looking after it. Needed it back ‘cause it’s really my dad’s old jacket.”

“Oh, sorry. I would have given it back sooner if I knew that.” Daniela replied, not sounding the least bit sorry.

“It’s okay.” Ellie mumbled awkwardly.

There was an uncomfortable moment or two of complete silence where Daniela continued to merely gaze at Ellie, unwavering and unapologetic, while Ellie focused her eyes on her Converse as she wrung her hands together.

“Hey, look…” Ellie eventually spoke up. “I really am sorry about being late. I just had a really important emergency that I had to deal with.”

“It’s fine,” Daniela replied remorselessly. “Tara told me that you suddenly had to deal with some shit.”

“Wait, what?”

“Tara. Tara Maclay. She works with me at Ruston.”

“Oh, right.”

Another awkward moment of silence.

“Your ex-girlfriend, right?” Daniela asks unexpectedly.

“What?”

“Your ex-girlfriend. The shit you had to deal with tonight.”

“Oh, uh…”

“No point in lying, Ellie.” Daniela shrugged. “Tara already told me the gist.”

“Oh. What did she say exactly?”

“Not much. Said that you needed to help deal with something for someone you both know. She didn’t tell me exactly that it was your ex-girlfriend, but it was pretty obvious. I read between the lines.”

“Oh.”

“Yeah.”

“She really shouldn’t have told you all that.”

“She was ranting to another co-worker and I overheard your name and I was curious.” Daniela shrugged again, unabashed.

Another awkward moment of silence.

“So you still into your ex or something, Ellie?” Daniela spoke up again.

“She’s not really my ex-girlfriend.”

“Whatever.”

Another awkward moment of silence.

“Well?” Daniela asked.

“It’s kind of complicated.”

“That’s just the bullshit way of saying yes,” Daniela rolled her eyes. “Doesn’t matter if she’s your ‘ex’ or whatever.”

“Look, Daniela—”

“I know we aren’t serious or whatever, but I don’t really feel like dealing with someone else’s ex drama.”

“There’s no drama. I don’t even speak to her anymore.”

“And yet you ditched me to go and help her out with something earlier.”

“It’s not like that. And it was also an emergency.”

“So you said.”

Ellie wasn’t sure why she felt the need to explain herself to a girl she barely knew. Part of her felt compelled to do so as if she could continue to actively ignore her feelings by saying these things out loud.

Another awkward moment of silence.

“God, you’re such an asshole fuckboy, Ellie.”

“Hey, what the fuck—”

“You know that you can get girls and do, but you just like to fuck around with them and play with their feelings.”

“Alright, first of all, you said yourself that we’re nothing serious. We’ve barely even done anything.” Ellie said defensively. “Second, I literally just said that I don’t even talk to her anymore! Not even tonight!”

Ellie scoffed as Daniela rolled her eyes once more.

“Look,” Ellie continued through gritted teeth. “I’m sorry that I was late tonight. And I get it if your feelings are hurt. But nothing’s happening between me and my ex.”

“You just said that she wasn’t your ex.”

“Sh-she’s— she’s not, she’s—”

“Yeah, yeah,” Daniela muttered as stood up from her bed. “At this point, I’m over it, and I really don’t give a fuck anymore. You’re hot and all, Ellie. But this is not worth it.”

She popped an AirPod in her ear once more and sauntered over to the door.

“Word of advice. Figure out your feelings for this ‘ex’ of yours and decide if you actually wanna be with her or not before getting involved with anyone else. Nobody deserves that hanging over their head, especially when you’re so clearly still in love with her.”

And with that, Daniela opened the door and peered at her expectantly. Ellie took the hint and walked towards her direction and through the doorway. Before Ellie could fully turn around and give any parting words, Daniela shut the door in her face.

Present

Ellie collapses onto her bed next to Joel’s old motorcycle jacket. She pulls her phone out again, contemplating calling Jesse and Dina once more. But realizing they’ll probably call her if they have anything important that they feel she needs to know, she drops the phone down to her side in defeat.

She continues to lay in her bed for a while, stewing in her unresolved feelings with nobody to confide in. Closing her eyes, her mind begins to race against her will with reminders of the path life led her down after you.

First was Marisol. Less than two months into sophomore year of college, Jesse and Dina were completely aghast to see Ellie walking around campus with a girl they’d never seen her with before. She was in Ellie’s Aerospace Engineering class, and Ellie had claimed to have had an eye on her since last year. Jesse and Dina watched helplessly as their friend flaunted her new girlfriend around everywhere for the next couple of months.

Ellie wasn’t initially sure what it was that attracted her to Marisol in the first place. She was naturally beautiful with her long, black hair and slender figure, and she was the textbook definition of a perfect girlfriend. It took two and a half months of overly extravagant dates and bouquets of Marisol’s favourite flowers and late nights spent at her dorm room for Ellie to understand what it was about Marisol that she was drawn to: it was her eyes. Down to the specks in her irises and how her eyelids curved, Marisol’s eyes resembled yours far too well. After coming to this harrowing realization, Ellie quickly broke things off with her tactlessly and with a half-assed, mostly untrue justification.

The next was Luz who she had met during her near-daily workouts at the gym with Jesse. Ellie spent several autumn weeks with them, allowing Luz to whisk her about to different parties with different groups of friends every weekend. But one fateful night when they had dragged Ellie to a party at the same Sigma Eta frat house where you’d both first met, a bad acid trip cemented the end of her time with Luz.

As Ellie’s dilated pupils focused intensely on Luz’s black boots, a pair very similar to your favourites, she felt a sensation begin to roughly tug at something inside her. From her spot on the living room couch, her eyes darted up to a spot by the wall where a small group of partygoers were congregating. She zeroed in on a random girl she’d never seen before whose multi-coloured features, as a result of LSD brain fog, began to morph into those of someone she was desperately trying to forget.

Once the last parts of the stranger’s face had fully formed to impersonate yours, she abruptly stood up from her slouched position on the couch, muttered an excuse to Luz about using the bathroom, and desperately begged Jesse to come pick her up immediately. After Jesse helped her click on her seatbelt in the passenger seat with a tight-lipped expression where he fought the urge to remind her of the significance of this house, Ellie never looked back and swore never to trip on acid again, subsequently ghosting Luz after that night.

A couple of weeks before winter break, she met a sweet and quiet girl named Simi. They met through a dating app during one of Ellie’s crossfaded swiping sprees at 2 in the morning. Ellie’s affair with her was extremely short-lived, ending things with her a day before everyone left campus to head home for the holidays. While spending the day hanging out at Simi’s dorm room as her new girlfriend packed for her trip home, Ellie suddenly and unfairly started a fight with her after Simi had begun to mindlessly sing the song “Merry Christmas Darling” under her breath.

Ellie had unkindly demanded for her to “shut up” immediately, understandably hurting Simi’s feelings. The fight was short and confusing, as Ellie had refused to elaborate on her sudden explosion. As she unceremoniously marched out of the dorm room, Ellie aggressively tried to suppress memories of you singing that same Carpenters song on a loop all of December of the previous year. You’d claimed you couldn’t get it out of your head and needed to sing it out loud at least fifty times a day so you could stop thinking about it. Though Ellie had playfully cussed you out and thrown several pillows at you on multiple occasions, that song now belonged to you forever and nobody else.

After Simi were strings of countless others, some who had used Ellie as their brief college lesbian experience and many whose names Ellie would never be able to recall. She never hooked up with the same person more than twice, never actually took another one out for an actual date until Daniela.

Ellie had found Daniela incredibly pretty when she’d first laid eyes on her on a warm September afternoon earlier in the year. She was lounging on the quad as Dina did her homework and Jesse lazily strummed his guitar when a group of freshmen walked by. Ellie hadn’t spared them a glance until one of the girls approached her, all shy and giggly, and said that one of her friends found Ellie very cute. After pointing Daniela out and asking for her number, Ellie shrugged and relented. She ignored Dina and Jesse’s identical judgmental looks and eye-rolls in her peripheral vision.

Ellie enjoyed the undivided attention of someone completely enamoured by her. Daniela was constantly responsive, did whatever Ellie wanted to do, and was always so eager to please her. Ellie’d bring her to the movies, go on long drives with her in her Jeep, take her to whatever restaurants she’d want to eat at.

To anyone who keenly observed when they were together, it was quite obvious who was far more invested between the two. Despite spending an ample amount of time with her in the past month or so, Ellie continued to keep Daniela at arm’s length. On multiple occasions when Ellie’d convinced Jesse and Dina to allow Daniela to accompany them, the long-time couple would watch how disconnected their friend was from this new girl she’d been seeing.

Dina would constantly give Jesse a raised eyebrow look that silently would ask, “Is she really serious?” to which Jesse would give her a tight-lipped, wordless grimace that replied with “We both know she’s a fucking dumbass.” They both placed bets on when exactly Ellie would eventually ditch this new girlfriend.

Unbeknownst to them, it’s Ellie who was so easily discarded this time around. Feeling so unmoved and unaffected about the split with Daniela, Ellie tries to feel some kind of guilt over her lack of reciprocation. It’s her own actions, after all, that landed her dumped in the first place. She’s never fully seen Daniela as an actual girlfriend, and she knows full well that she shouldn’t have strung her along.

But as she continues to lay in her bed, ocean green eyes shut and a hand woven through her auburn locks, she thinks of only you.

Ellie can’t remember a single moment in her life when she’s felt more in need of another person’s company than she does at this very moment. Unable to trouble Dina to be her listening ear as she always is or bother Jesse to bluntly set her straight as usual, she feels the loneliness of the gloomy, dark room creep into her guilty conscience.

Her fingers begin to mindlessly search her bedsheets as she continues to stare at her decrepit bedroom ceiling, seeking for her silver joint box that had fallen out of her pocket when she’d collapsed on her bed. Instead of the feel of cold metal, her hand comes across something smooth and warm. Pulling the brown leather jacket up to her face, Ellie’s mind murmurs a single word.

Joel.

She pulls her phone out to search for her father’s face within her favourite contacts. She hesitates for a moment but pushes herself to call.

Joel picks up after only two rings.

“Ellie? Jesus, kiddo, what the hell time is it?”

“Hello to you too, old man.” Ellie chuckles.

“Everythin’ alright?” Joel’s voice asks, tired but urgent.

“Y-yeah. Yeah, I guess.”

Ellie can almost hear her father sitting up straight in bed.

“What’s wrong, Ellie?”

“I-I…” She stutters. “Joel…”

With a whimpering tone, she suddenly recounts the night’s events in complete detail. Joel listens attentively, only ever interrupting with sharp intakes of breath and hushed, imperceptible asides. After listening to his daughter’s sorrowful spiel, he finally speaks.

“Oh, baby girl…” Joel utters. “I truly am sorry. It’s been a real rough night for all of y’all.”

“Yeah…”

“That poor kid… I’m glad she had you three lookin’ out for her tonight.”

Ellie says nothing to this, pursing her lips.

“How about you, Ellie?” Joel continues. “How are you feelin’ after everythin’ that’s happened?”

“I-I’m not really sure. I’m not sure I know how to feel.”

“That’s okay. You don’t have to just yet. It just happened and all.”

“All I feel is so much fucking guilt, Joel. It feels like my mind is empty but overflowing all at the same time. I feel so motherfucking powerless and I don’t know what to do.”

There’s a moment of silence before her father speaks again.

“You given any thought to the conversation we had before you left for school, kiddo?”

Last August: Jackson

Ellie’s bedroom was full of boxes and bags packed with everything she planned to bring to college for her junior year. The space was slightly more barren, closet mostly empty and trinkets missing from her shelves. It was only a couple more days before she, Dina, and Jesse would be making their journey back to their university, and she was uncharacteristically ahead of schedule.

Leaning against her desk with a box full of comic books on the floor next to her, she was casually perusing an old graphic novel when Joel appeared in her open doorway.

“Knock, knock.”

“The door’s open, old man. Also, you can literally just walk in, you know.”

“Who raised you to have so much cheek against your elders, kid?”

“You, dude.”

The pair smirked at each other’s smart-mouthed retorts.

“Need any help packin’ up?”

“Nah. It’s pretty much done except for a handful of essentials.”

“Including that book you’re holdin’ right now?”

“Like I said: essentials.”

Joel chuckled.

“Well, the Changs sent over some dinner for us, if you want some. Wisa made K-kaw… Khao Tom Pa… no, Plah…” Joel stuttered, making an effort to pronounce the Thai dish correctly. “Khao Tom Plah, that’s it. She brought some over earlier, thought we might want some. She even made it without the prawns, just the way you like it.”

“Sick. She’s the best. I’ll text Jesse later to thank her.”

“Good.”

Joel lingered as Ellie went back to reading her comic, wistfully looking around his daughter’s nearly vacated bedroom. His eyes fell on a small box sitting at the foot of Ellie’s bed. It was an ordinary, cardboard box just as the others were, except it was heavily sealed with multiple layers of silver duct tape. He frowned.

“Still plannin’ on bringin’ that box?”

“What do you mean?” Ellie asked, knowing exactly what her father was referring to without looking up.

“You know you can just leave it here at home, right? It ain’t like I go through your doohickeys when you ain’t here.”

“So you do go through my shit when I am here?”

“Ellie.”

“What?”

“Why the hell are you doing this to yourself, kid?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“We’ve been having this same conversation for the past year now.”

Ellie finally peeled her eyes away from her graphic novel, tossing it on the desk behind her and crossing her arms.

“You’re the one who keeps bringing it up, Joel.”

“I bring it up because I know that you ain’t been talkin’ about these feelings with anyone. Not me or Jesse or Dina. It’s been a year since you ditched that poor girl, and you’re still sulkin’ over it.”

“She ditched me.”

“Hold your horses; we both know that ain’t true.”

“What do you want from me, old man?”

“I want you to be happy, kiddo.”

“What makes you think I’m not happy?”

“Now, don’t try to bullshit me. You can grumble and deny it ‘til the cows come home, but even after all this time, all you ever do is brood and pine after that girl. Plain as day to anyone. You ain’t been the same since y’all broke up.”

“We weren’t together.”

“Yes, you were.”

Joel ignored his daughter’s subsequent eye-roll before continuing.

“You still have the box, Ellie.”

“I just forgot I even had it.”

“And yet, you’re bringin’ it to school with you, just like you did last year. Why?”

“It was just in my closet stuffed in with all this other shit I don’t touch. Had to take it out while I was packing.”

“That ain’t amount to a hill o’ beans. And you still ain’t answer my question.”

“Sorry, dude.”

“Ellie. You and I would down to Beacon Run all the damn time back when you were growin’ up. You used to beg me to go for dinner whenever you had a hankerin’ to order that cheesy crab dip with all those chips and jalapeños and such.”

Ellie raised her eyebrow, unsure where her father was going with this.

“Then all of a sudden, a few years ago, you seemed to hate the place. You’ll maybe get a plate of fries and nothin’ else. Matter of fact, I can’t, for the life of me, recall the last time I’ve seen you eat a plate of seafood with any kind of shellfish in it.”

Joel’s greying eyes pierced Ellie’s ocean green.

“Two years.” He continued. “It’s been two years. You almost never eat any kind of seafood no more, and even the Changs never cook us anythin’ that has shrimps or scallops or anythin’ of the like.”

Joel watched as his daughter stubbornly struggled to justify herself. He sighed sadly.

“I wish you’d let yourself be happy, Ellie. You could be.”

“That so? How do you figure that?”

“First step is admitting exactly what is clear as day to everyone around you.”

“Oh, yeah? And what is that?”

Present Day

“J-Joel… I-I…” Ellie sobs. “I love her.”

“I know, baby girl.”

Joel helplessly listens to his daughter’s desperate weeping from the other end of the line.

“So,” He eventually asks in between her snivels. “What now?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She sniffs.

“Kiddo, why do you think your feelings don’t matter?”

“Because relationships do not work for me. Love doesn’t work for me.”

“Your relationship with her didn’t work. Past tense. It’s been years. It was a tough situation. You’re a different person now.” Joel clarifies. “And there’s plenty love ‘round you, kiddo. You got a lotta love in your life. I need you t’realize that.”

“Except I-I’m not a different person, Joel. I-I am just an older, slightly more experienced version of myself. I-I…” Ellie stutters. “I’m afraid.”

“Of course you are, kid. It’s only natural.” Joel replies. “But you can’t live your whole life closed off from the rest of the world. You need and deserve love, Ellie.”

“Except I don’t, Joel! I fucking don’t!” She cries. “God, y-you just, you just don’t understand!”

“What don’t I understand?”

“She almost fucking died!” Ellie nearly screams.

A silence falls between the two, only broken by Ellie’s hot and angry tears noisily dropping onto the old leather jacket. She grips it tightly in one hand before continuing.

“I-if… if none of it happened… if I d-didn’t do all that to h-her all those years ago…” She stutters between shaky lips. “M-maybe she wouldn’t be where she is now. She wouldn’t have gone on a date w-with someone who didn’t know about…”

Ellie chokes back a sob.

“I-I… I would have known. I would have t-taken care of her. I would never have—”

“Ellie.”

“She needed me, and I… I let her down. Not just tonight. All those years ago. I couldn’t be what she needed. I fucking failed her.”

“It’s not that simple, kid.”

“Yes, it is! Her cousin fucking died! He was her whole fucking world, and she loved him more than anything, and he fucking died and I… I ran. I abandoned her.”

The blurry memory of your sleeping figure in the passenger seat of Ellie’s Jeep appears in front of her, wrapped up cozily in her flannel as she drives you home from Jackson and naive to what lies ahead.

“I know… I know what I’m capable of, Joel. I loved her so much all those years ago and… I still hurt her. I hurt her so fucking badly.”

Your image transforms to one of you awake and livid, Ellie’s flannel torn off and tears streaming down your face. Anger and betrayal are etched all over your face, just like they were all those years ago. The shame she’d felt back then is incomparable to what she feels now.

“I don’t ever want to do that to her again, ever. I just can’t. I won’t.”

Joel sighs deeply before finally speaking.

“Ellie. That fear is always gonna be there. But you’re young, and we make plenty of mistakes in our youth. God knows how much of my past I used to regret.”

Ellie takes deep breaths as her father continues to speak.

“Everythin’ that happened tonight? None of it was your fault. In fact, I reckon you’re the reason she’s still livin’ and breathin’ right now. I’m proud of you for that.”

“All I did was—”

“All you did was save her life.”

Ellie sniffles but doesn’t respond.

“Look, kiddo,” Joel continues. “As someone who has known you for a very long time, I know how much of a good heart you got. You’re a lovin’ person who deserves love. I wish you could believe that.”

The sound of people entering through the front door echoes all around the empty apartment, but Ellie hears nothing else but the sound of her own agonized sobs.

author’s notes:

belle posting TWO chapters of ncty within less than two weeks of each other??? what is this, may 2023???

saury for not posting this right away like promised yesterday, like i said, going thru some shit rn! but i hope y'all enjoyed regardless ♥︎

i'll give you a kiss on the mouth if you guess the bollywood movie i vaguely reference at the beginning of the chapter :)

the idea of reader being allergic to shellfish and going into anaphylactic shock came to me one day a while back when i was eating something with shrimp and randomly remembered that i am very allergic to shellfish and instead of being like, "i should go take some medicine immediately", i thought, "hmm this would be a wild plot point for ncty" LMFAOOOO

anyway, this is your reminder that if you have an epipen, don't be stupid, bring that shit with you wherever you go sldkfjsdl

the more of jesse that i include in this series, the more i enjoy writing him. he's such a fun character to write hehe

i thought having abby sipping on some hot, black coffee when ellie fucking canonically hates coffee was so hilarious, i pat myself on the fucking back for that one

yes i also pat myself on the back for the line regarding ellie's ocean green eyes and abby's sky blue ones. i fucking love parallels and symbolism. i'm a whore for them, in fact.

btw dina doesn't respond to ellie's phone call bc her phone died (prob from facetiming ellie for that long earlier in the night) and idk, jesse's either not paying attention or being petty LMFAO

the reappearance of barbie bearrrrr, my babyyyy. idk if y'all remember, but yes, barbie bear is a reference to the actual stuffed pink bear i sleep with every night named barbie. i had planned since chapter 4 (which is the chapter barbie bear is first mentioned) for ellie to have had her this whole time because i'm a fucking lunatic LOL

i mentioned in the author's notes section of the last chapter how reader's letterwriting hobby is inspired by me irl cause i do that all the time for friends, but reader's letter in this chapter is actually loosely based on a letter that soulmate ex wrote me, it's not word for word exactly, i altered it a bit to fit the story better, but it's very close because i'm INSANE, anyway

yes "i think i love you again" is on my playlist about my ex-girlfriend and "merry christmas darling" is on his playlist for me, go away

ellie's clear aversion to taylor swift is both a reference to a previous chapter where jesse subtly mentions her dislike for her and also to my personal belief that ellie really would not like her as a person or an artist at all irl lmfao

the names of all of ellie's ex gfs or whatever are inspired by something very specific but that's another heehee secret trivia that nobody else but me will ever know about (let's be real, i'll prob tell star later LOL)

i named jesse's mom after one of my fave co-workers hehe (and the dish she makes for them is thai bc my co-worker is from thailand)

ellie's declaration of love about reader that she makes to joel has also been a long time planned now, idk why i knew it was gonna be chapter 13 when i did it, but i just knew it was. it was always the plan for her to confess it out loud to joel first, above anyone else

the final conversation between ellie and joel is heavily inspired by a scene from one of my fave tv shows, crazy ex-girlfriend. the scene makes me bawl every time i watch it. please watch crazy ex-girlfriend. so good.

we really are thirteen chapters into this series, huh? crazy. anyway, love y'all. <3

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igoferalforelliewilliams, kissesforells, asteroidzzzn, 97cityy, joliettes, p1llowthoughtss, aouiaa, lez-zuha, ineffablefics, peepshake, lil-elliesgf, wex--12, ccinnamongrl, siriusblackrunmeover17, whenlostinthedarkness, feelsoseencantdream, bellasfavepansexual, mina-281, harrysslutsstuff, lil-elliesgf, p4ison1vy, eurewili, miksde

please note that i am no longer accepting requests to be added to the taglist, so if you would like to be notified when a new chapter comes out, please follow @belleloves and turn notifications on!

#nobody compares to you series #ellie williams #dealer!ellie #ellie x reader #ellie x you #ellie x y/n #the last of us #tlou #the last of us part 2 #tlou2 #ellie fanfiction #belle speaks #v #belle writes #Spotify

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