#jeff skinner fanfic

[laurenairay]

gotta trust how you feel inside - J. Skinner

Summary: Jeff Skinner had never met anyone like Cameron Marlow before. Turns out, he had a lot to learn.

A story of accepting someone for who they are, as well as accepting yourself.

This is my entry for @wyattjohnston​’s summer fic exchange 2k23, for @nhl-stories​! I decided to do something a little different than I’ve ever done before, based off of your prompts and answers to my questions, so I really hope you like this. I researched so many articles and blog posts and videos on coming out and acceptance and all the different ways people have felt and reacted in their own journeys, so I really hope I did Cam’s story justice. Also heavily inspired by Mae Martin and their wonderful self!

Warnings: angst, slow burn, friends to lovers, fear of coming out as non-binary, change of pronouns part-way through.

Words: 4.8k

Title from Green Eyes by Arlo Parks.

Thank you to @tippedbykreider​ for being a wonderful beta reader!

Some of these folks wanna make you cry, But you gotta trust how you feel inside, And shine, and shi-ine, yeah, yeah, yeah.

~

“Jeff! Pizza or tacos?”

“Tacos please!”

“On it!”

Jeff smiled to himself as his neighbour Cameron disappeared from her balcony, back into the apartment below his. Their Friday night tradition of take-out and movies – whenever he was in town, that was – was something he treasured. Most of his teammates over 30 years old had a wife and kids at home for their Friday nights, but not Jeff. Maybe it was something that bothered him a lot when he was younger, not having someone to come back home to like everyone else seemed to, but since he’d been traded to Buffalo, it was something he was learning to let go of. There were plenty of other things in his life, plenty of other people, to fill what society deemed him missing, and he appreciated all of them. Loved all of them.

Cameron Marlow included.

She had been a breath of fresh air when he’d first moved into their shared apartment building back in summer 2018. Single, like he was, and only a year younger, so at least he didn’t feel completely out of place. And she was an introvert much like he was slowly growing into, meaning he didn’t have to put on a fake extroverted energy all the time, didn’t have to be ‘on’ 100%. The two of them bonded over just wanting someone to hang out with sometimes, someone who wouldn’t judge a depleted social battery. He knew that her work was intense, that she was damn good at her job too, and that the hyper-focus she had to have on all the time during her workdays left her pretty drained by the time she got home, much like hockey sometimes left him socially inept, so he appreciated having her as a friend he could just be himself with.

It didn’t hurt that she was blonde, blue-eyed, and completely & utterly beautiful. But that wasn’t something he wanted to think about right now. Cameron was so out of his league it wasn’t funny. Her intense corporate work aside, she was so interesting as a person that he barely felt like he could keep up. She was part of a book club, reading fiction about all kinds of different topics that he barely understood, leaving him feeling like more of a dumbass every time he attempted to follow along. She always volunteered during Pride month at the parade, making sure teenagers felt safe and secure and hopeful. She introduced him to plays and movies and poetry readings that he never would’ve thought of going to. He tried to keep up with her, loving the time they spent together too much not to, and it always seemed like she appreciated it anyway.

At least her dating life was as much of a disaster as his was. That was always something he could console himself with. Her type seemed to be tall blonde beefcakes, typical douchey gym bros, and every time a series of dates ended with the two of them eating ice-cream on one of their sofas, Jeff felt their friendship bond grow just that little bit more. He knew that his friendship with her was one of the best and closest and most genuine friendships he’d ever had, and over the past five years he’d grown to cherish it over anything else.

Cameron Marlow was in his life to stay, and there was nothing he ever wanted to change about that.

“Alright, tacos should be here in 30 minutes. Do you have beer?”

“Of course, I’m not a heathen,” Jeff scoffed.

Cameron just laughed, blonde waves swinging over her shoulder as she shut his apartment door behind her. She was dressed similar to him, tank top and sweatpants with fluffy socks, and she wasted no time in pulling her hair back in a messy bun after passing him a beer and sitting down next to him on his oversized sofa.

By the time their tacos arrived – Jeff went down to the lobby to pick them up, of course – Cameron had all but sunk into the sofa, all tension disappearing from her body. It was a good look for her, to be honest, peaceful and relaxed and content. And the fact that it was in his apartment that she was able to feel this way? Well, that meant everything to him.

However, by the time they’d finished eating, Cameron had flicked through her phone a few times, and a frown had grown on her face, her body a line of stiff tension again. He didn’t think it was because of him – he knew he hadn’t said anything out of the ordinary to her – but it still concerned him all the same.

“You look like you’ve got a lot on your mind,” Jeff said, “Want to talk about it?”

“I don’t know if you’d want to hear it?”

Jeff found himself frowning as he shook his head. Why would he not want to hear what she had to say?

“I always want to hear what you have to say? Why would I not?”

Cameron seemed to hesitate for a moment, eyes filled with something that he couldn’t read. Despite their five years of friendship, there was still so much he didn’t know about her, he knew that much. But why would she think he wouldn’t want to know what was bothering her?

“It’s just…okay, so you know I’m part of a book club, right?” Cameron blurted.

“Yes.”

He didn’t have a clue where this was going, but he was just going to roll with it. The book club met every other Sunday, he knew that much.

“Well we’re reading I Wish You All the Best by Mason Deaver, and naturally the conversation turned political,” Cameron started.

“As it would, sure,” Jeff nodded.

He didn’t know if it would be rude to pull out his phone to google what the book was about while she was talking, so he just decided to wait to see if she would explain.

“And like, a few of the group can relate to the main character Ben’s struggle, right? Coming out as non-binary to his parents only to be immediately kicked out of the house, so the topic was pretty personal for some of my friends…”

So that was what the book was about. Huh. He could only imagine how difficult that kind of situation would be. And Cameron said it had also happened to some of her friends? Damn.

“…and with the political climate right now, things just got so heated. As it would.”

“As it would,” Jeff agreed.

Well, not that he actually knew much about the political climate around gender. It was gender she was talking about, right?

“Gender is always an emotionally difficult topic,” he said, hedging his bet.

“Exactly!” she nodded.

Oh good, he’d gotten it right.

“The discussion is still bothering you though?” he prompted, eyes flicking to the phone she’d put down on the coffee table.

“Well, yeah, because New York still has so far to go in terms of making things equal for non-binary people. Like, shit, it took until late 2021 for driving licenses to get non-binary options on, and even now official government departments might not have options for all forms until 2024!”

“That seems unfairly restrictive?” Jeff said, frowning.

“It is! And of course, it’s started so many debates and discussions from hate groups and just generally horrible people about whether any of it should even be allowed. Like, what the fuck? All these absolute fuck-up debates about non-binary recognition, how non-binary people are basically invisible, it makes me so mad! How is it okay that a tiny group of people decide that I don’t exist?”

As she wound herself up angrier and angrier, Jeff froze slightly at Cameron’s words. That I don’t exist.

I.

Not they.

Cameron was talking about herself.

No, if Cameron was talking about herself then that would mean she was non-binary…

Whatever was showing on his face made Cameron stop in confusion, before absolute horror flooded her expression.

“I mean, I, heh-”

Cameron cut herself off with a whimper, eyes desperately darting around like she was looking around for an exit from his apartment, and in that moment, Jeff’s heart broke a little. Cameron was trying to get away from him, because she was scared of his reaction. Scared of him. That was the last thing he ever wanted.

Jeff swallowed heavily, before smiling lightly. “I can’t imagine you ever being invisible. No-one should ever make you feel that way.”

The tears that filled Cameron’s eyes caused Jeff to panic slightly. Had he said the wrong thing? Had he ruined their friendship? Had he ruined…everything else?

“Fuck. Fuck, that wasn’t how I ever wanted it to come out,” Cameron murmured, “You don’t hate me?”

The last few whispered words broke his heart all over again. Jeff quickly shook his head as he put his beer down, taking Cameron’s hands in his.

“I could never hate you. I may not understand much about what you’re going through. Like, as a non-binary person. But I could never hate you, okay? You’re still Cameron to me,” Jeff said firmly.

Because it was true.

He might not know much about what it meant to be non-binary, or understand Cameron’s struggles, but the fact that she was scared he would hate her said all that he needed to know. Cameron was still his friend, still the same person he’d always known – he just knew a little more now, that was all, right?

Cameron bit her bottom lip for a moment, seeming to hesitate about something, so Jeff just squeezed her hands reassuringly.

“Actually, I prefer just Cam,” Cameron said.

“Okay. Okay, Cam it is,” Jeff nodded.

“And they/them pronouns,” Cameron added.

Cam.

They/Them.

Cam. They/Them.

He could absolutely do that.

“Cam. They/Them. Got it,” Jeff said firmly, still smiling.

Cam seemed to hesitate for a moment again, looking confused now.

“Just like that? You have no questions or reluctance or anything?” Cam asked, frowning.

“Well, no? Not really? I mean, you know yourself better than I do, right? So if you tell me that you won’t be using she/her any more then that’s not my choice? It’s you and how you are in yourself. It’s only right that I follow what you need,” Jeff said, frowning in response, “Is that not okay? I know I’ve probably been getting things wrong for years now, but I’ll do better?”

Cam laughed softly in disbelief, shaking their head.

“Of course it’s okay. And it’s only been a couple of years really but that’s because I purposely didn’t tell you. Haven’t really told many people, if I’m being honest. I just…I wasn’t expecting you to just accept it straight away? Like, you’re a hockey player right, and…”

“And hockey players have a reputation of being homophobic assholes? There’s a few prominent names popping out lately, yeah. But that’s not me. My older sisters played hockey on women’s teams while we were growing up and there were a few lesbians out and proud with their friends, so it’s not like I haven’t been around the LGBTQ+ community? And I know that non-binary is your gender, not anything with your sexuality, but what I mean is that I’m not that kind of asshole?” Jeff explained, “I might be a dumbass hockey player most the time but I’m not that full stereotype.”

“No, you’re right. I shouldn’t have painted you with that brush. I’m sorry,” Cam said, wincing.

“It’s okay. No, really it is. I get that you have to expect the worst from people and I hate that you have to, but you don’t have to with me, okay? I’ve got a lot to learn, I know that. So much. But you don’t have to be scared or nervous around me. I promise,” Jeff said, smiling.

Cam smiled shakily, nodding their head, finally losing a bit of tension in their shoulders.

“Thank you. I just…thank you,”

“I accept you for who you are, Cam Marlow. Exactly how you are,” Jeff said firmly.

Cam choked out a sob, hand flying up to cover their mouth, and it was all Jeff could do to let go of their hands and open his arms wide. Cam wasted no time in flinging themselves forward into his body, letting Jeff hug them as they cried into the crook of his neck. Jeff felt tears sting at his own eyes, but he just held them tight, rubbing their back to reassure them.

Everything would change from here, he knew that. But he wasn’t going anywhere.

*

Skinner Siblings

Jeff: A friend of mine recently came out to me as non-binary. Obviously I support them and I'm so proud of them but I haven't got a clue where to start to understand it all better? I just want to be a good friend.

Andrea: Firstly, congrats to your friend. I won't ask who because that's none of my business. Secondly, do you want some resources?

Jeff: Yeah I won't say their name because they haven't said I could. But yes please to resources!

Erica: Good start on using their correct pronouns Jeffy.

Jeff: I'm trying. It's literally the least I can do.

Erica: More than a lot of people would! Just as a tip, more than anything else, follow whatever your friend says is right for them. And if you mess up, correct yourself and move on. You are a good friend, even just by wanting to learn.

Jillian: Love you Jeffy. Proud of you!

Andrea: I’m proud of you too. I found a bunch of resources for definitions and reading material and even blog posts. Let me email you.

*

“Sex is what you’re assigned at birth, based on bodily characteristics. Gender can be completely separate from the sex you’ve been assigned at birth. That’s the best thing about gender: it’s free, flexible and completely yours to decide.”

“A recent Stonewall study found that 31% of nonbinary people have experienced hate crime as a result of their gender identity.”

“60% of Americans have at least heard about gender-neutral pronouns, many people may still be kind of unsure of what to say or do. According to the survey results, 52% of Americans report that they would be somewhat or very comfortable using gender-neutral pronouns with someone they know. But 47% said that they would be somewhat or very uncomfortable doing so.”

“A common misconception is that all non-binary identities sit somewhere in the middle of male and female, and that if you’re non-binary you’ll fit neatly into a box labelled ‘androgynous’. But this really isn’t the case – and one of the most liberating things about being non-binary is that there are no set rules around how you express or experience your gender.”

Jeff’s head spun as he read through all the resources that his sister Andrea sent over to him. There was so much new information to digest, and yet still not enough somehow. Sure, GLAAD was a great place to start for definitions, but he knew there was still so much further for him to go.

Baby steps though, right?

If Cam could take things step by step, so could he.

One of the first things that Jeff did was to add his pronouns to his twitter and Instagram bios. A simple he/him. It wasn’t much, but it was a start – and at least hopefully, if anyone asked him (not that he expected they would), then he could start a positive conversation about pronouns and representation. It was, quite literally, the least he could do. It was also likely that Cam would never notice either, but if they did then he wanted them to know that this was another way he could support them – it was important that everyone and anyone could use the pronouns they knew were correct for themselves, he knew that now. So if he could show people that with his level of publicity then he absolutely would.

He had to use his privilege for something good, right?

In the weeks following Cam’s accidental non-binary announcement, aside from his own research journey, it seemed like a new side of Cam’s life opened that he’d never been privy to before. Sure, he’d liked and treasured the time that the two of them spent alone over the past five years, but now it seemed like they were comfortable enough to let him into a whole new level. He wasn’t entitled to it in the slightest, he knew that, so he made that they knew exactly how much he appreciated these new steps they were taking.

Cam also opened up more to him about their discovery journey. About how they had felt just ever-so-slightly wrong in their body for so long, not understanding why until they stumbled across an LGBTQ+ poetry slam one night not long after he had moved into their apartment building, not knowing what to do about how they felt until a few years ago. Cam had insisted that they hadn’t kept things separate from him maliciously – it was more of a case that they had still been figuring it out for themselves while they were getting to know him too, and part of their process had been compartmentalising. He wasn’t mad. He literally had no right to be, but he genuinely wasn’t mad. The fact that they finally felt comfortable enough with him and within themselves to take down those barriers? That was all that he cared about.

They had even introduced him openly to a few of their friends. Jeff hadn’t understood the side-eyes and the smirks or even the money exchanged between a couple of the group, but he finally in on the jokes about Cam being a social disaster, finally able to have them smiling at him like he was in on the secret. He was part of a whole new world – one that confused him heavily sometimes, but one that he appreciated being able to be within – and he loved that his friendship with Cam had only grown from strength to strength with each new thing he learned about them.

None of that changed how their smile still gave him butterflies.

*

“You cut your hair.”

That was the first thing that came out of his mouth when Cam opened the front door of their apartment. It had been only a little over a month since their unintentional coming out, but it seemed like each day Cam was a little more settled in their skin, and it made Jeff feel so happy that he got to be part of that. Their hair though – that was a big change.

“I…did. Is it bad?” Cam asked, a little nervous.

Cam’s hair had previously been down to their waist, naturally tousled and dirty blonde. But now…now it was short. Super short. A pixie cut, maybe? At least that’s what he remembered from one of his sister’s magazines. A white-blonde pixie cut. Huh.

“Not bad. Like, at all. It really suits you,” Jeff said firmly, as he walked past them into their apartment.

“You’re not just saying that?” Cam asked hopefully.

“I’m a really bad liar, you know that,” Jeff shrugged, smiling a little sheepishly as Cam laughed, “And I wouldn’t lie to you about this. It’s different, sure. But it feels like you.”

Cam exhaled shakily, shoulders losing a little tension as they nodded. “That’s what I thought. That it feels like me, more than anything else ever has.”

Jeff hesitated slightly as some of the reading he’d done came back to him, before he took a deep breath to steel himself.

“Was this a gender dysphoria thing? Is there still anything else you want to do to feel more comfortable in your body?” he asked.

Cam’s eyes widened slightly before they smiled fondly at him. “You really have done your reading, haven’t you?”

“I just…wanted to be a good friend,” Jeff said, feeling a little awkward.

Was he not meant to have tried to learn more? Did Cam not want that?

“Oh Jeff, you are one of the best friends a person could ever ask for,” Cam said, shaking their head as they smiled, letting Jeff breathe a little sigh of relief.

“You deserve it,” Jeff shrugged.

Interestingly, Cam blushed a little, before they laughed softly, moving to pull some coffee mugs out of the kitchen cupboard.

“Right, to answer your questions. The hair was kind of a gender dysphoria thing? My long hair just felt so feminine, and that obviously isn’t me anymore. Or maybe was never me? I don’t know, I’m still figuring out how I feel about it. In terms of anything else…I’m not trans. I don’t want to transition from female to male, because I genuinely don’t feel like either of them. That isn’t my journey. I’ve been dressing pretty androgynously for a few years so that covers most of what I feel like I need? And it’s not like my boobs are particularly big anyway so I can just wear a tighter tank top if I have days where they are a trigger,” Cam explained.

Jeff’s eyes dropped to their chest before he could even stop himself, and he felt his cheeks flare in horror at his reaction as he quickly looked back up to their face. What was wrong with him? Why would he…bleurgh.

Cam politely ignored his reaction, their mouth quirking in a slight smile.

“Periods might be an issue I’ll have to face at some point, but that’s something I’ll deal with as I get to it,” they shrugged.

He’d heard all the horrors of periods over the years from his sisters, so while he wasn’t quite desensitised, he didn’t grimace.

“There’s birth control you can go on to stop them for a few years though, right? Like, the implant or the coil?” Jeff said, tilting his head, “That’s always an option.”

Cam’s eyes widened slightly again, before they shook their head. “You are a gem, Jeff Skinner. Don’t let anyone ever tell you differently.”

Jeff found his cheeks heating up again, but he just smiled, shrugging. It’s not like he was looking for a gold star for being a half-decent human being after all.

Cam finally finished making their coffees, sliding Jeff’s over the counter to him while they sat down on the stool opposite.

“Oh, here, I got you something,” Jeff said, reaching into his bag, “It’s a little lame now that I think about it, but I already bought it so here we go.”

“This is…a cupcake?”

“A coming out cupcake. In your colours,” Jeff nodded, smiling.

White, yellow, purple and black swirled icing on a vanilla cupcake, the colours of the non-binary flag, from a tiny LGBTQ+ friendly bakery that he’d found in the city. The day he’d ordered it, he remembered the tiny smile that cracked on the terrifying butch woman’s face behind the counter, probably because he’d been rambling about wanting to celebrate and support Cam. He’d tried to find a date in the last month that felt right, but with Cam still settling into themselves publicly combined with his travelling schedule, it had taken longer than he wanted. But when he’d picked it up this morning he felt good about it. It might only be a silly little thing, but Cam loved cupcakes, right? So it felt good just to show Cam a little appreciation.

“This might be the sweetest thing ever. My god, Jeff. Why?”

“You deserve something nice? To mark this new chapter? The world is full of terrifying things that happen to people when they come out as non-binary. I’ve read some really awful blog posts about people whose lives were turned upside down just for being brave enough to be themselves. And I know you’re going to have to keep coming out over and over and over again even in just the tiniest of ways, so this is just me saying that I see you and I appreciate you.”

“Damn it Jeff, you’re going to make me cry again,” Cam

“Sorry?” he offered.

Cam just laughed, shaking their head as tears sprung to their eyes.

“I just hope that coming out to my parents will be as smooth as coming out to you was,” Cam said softly.

“You aren’t out to your parents?”

“No,” Cam murmured, shaking their head, “I’m so nervous.”

“Hey, no, don’t be, okay? Your parents love you,” Jeff said, frowning.

“You know just as well as I do how badly parents can react. It’s such an unknown reaction. And it’s not like they would’ve had any kind of idea that this is how I felt about myself over the past few years, right? No build up or lead in that they would have to prepare themselves,” Cam sighed.

They were right. Jeff had read the blog posts, the articles, the statistics. He hated that Cam had to go through this, but it wasn’t his place to pretend that everything was going to be a-okay.

“All you can do is be honest with them. That’s literally it,” Jeff said softly.

“I’m 30 years old, I shouldn’t be this scared to tell my parents who I really am,” they said, laughing a little dryly.

“It’s a natural reaction, Cam. From what I understand anyway. You love them – they’re your parents. You don’t want to lose them, it makes sense. But you also wouldn’t be doing yourself justice in not living your truth,” Jeff said, smiling sadly, “I’m here for you, no matter what happens, okay?”

They nodded, sniffing slightly. “I don’t deserve you.”

“You deserve everything and more. Never let anyone tell you differently,” Jeff said fiercely.

Cam choked out a laugh, blinking away their tears as they nodded again.

“Alright, if Jeff Skinner says it, then it must be true,” they said, wry smile on their face.

Jeff just grinned, making them laugh properly this time. He couldn’t bear the thought of them feeling like they didn’t deserve the whole world. Even if it wasn’t him that was able to give it to them, he still wanted them to be happy. That was all that mattered, right?

Then Cam’s smile slid into something a little more serious. A little more earnest. Jeff finished his coffee, sliding the cup to the side as he waited for them to collect their thoughts, knowing they would speak when they were ready.

“You make me want to be brave,” Cam said softly.

Well that was the last thing he expected. Those sweet simple words made his whole chest warm with happiness. He made them want to be brave? They were already so brave all on their own.

“Me?” Jeff asked, surprised.

But Cam just nodded, glancing over at him with their big blue eyes as they bit their bottom lip, and the look in their eyes made his heart start beating a little faster. Oh. Oh. Him?

“Me? Really?” he asked, a little breathless.

“Yeah, Jeff. Who else?” Cam said, cheeks flushing lightly.

Jeff inhaled sharply, reaching his hand across the kitchen counter to rest on theirs, his heart pounding so hard in his chest that he felt like it would fly out. Was this what his sisters meant when they’d described how it felt when they fell in love? Was he finally getting his chance to love someone too? When Cam clutched his hand back, smiling back at him so sweetly and shyly, he knew he had his answer. This was Cam – his heart had fallen for them a long time ago.

“You make me want to be brave too.”

He knew that this wasn’t going to be easy. He knew that the two of them would face so many questions, so much scrutiny, and most likely so much hatred. But what Jeff knew most of all was that he wanted to try. Cam was worth that. Cam was worth everything.

*

“Hey Cap, do you mind if I bring my partner Cam to the end of season barbecue?”

“Cameron? Your neighbour? Of course bud, glad the two of you finally got your shit together. How is she?”

“They.”

“What?”

“They. Not she. And it’s Cam, not Cameron.”

“Huh. Okay, good to know. Do you want me to say anything to the guys?”

“No, I’m just going to introduce them as they are. If anyone is shitty, I’ll deal with it.”

“Alright bud, but let me know if you want any help. You’re not alone, okay? Either of you. I look forward to meeting Cam. And Jeff? I’m proud of you.”

“Thanks. And, uh, thanks.”

“Any time.”

Baby steps.

#my writing #jeff skinner fic #summer fic exchange 2k23 #jeff skinner fanfic #jeff skinner imagine #jeff skinner x oc #nhl fic #nhl fanfic #nhl imagine #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #hockey imagine #non-binary oc

[ppjeterka]

stealth-hot anon again

you are SO right not a single one of the Sabres is pulling off that Leon Draisaitl smirk, like I'm sorry that man smolders and the Sabres, while very cute, would look like they're just super excited to play a game! None of them are making Connor Bedard reconsider his career and whether it might not be better to just drop to his knees right there if you know what I'm saying.

ugh I feel you with the curse of liking a team that's not super fandom popular... the thing is, I think they will be eventually, but there's definitely ways to speed things up!! obvi reblogging all the videos. All the gifsets. All the gifts that Sabres social media has given us (I think they might be the best in the league at that, like the between 2 stalls series is hilarious, and they let this child-team show some personality which is hard to come by in the hockey world.) Fanart helps, obvs, though I say this as someone who cannot make it. and, unfortunately, fanfic... like sometimes it's a case of drumming up interest with the Narratives and letting the audience build from there which is obvi. V annoying. But also are there any compelling narratives now?? As a longtime Jonathan Drouin-Nathan MacKinnon shipper, the narratives were definitely there, they had all this history, and then it just fell into place this past summer and it took a little while (and some good on-ice performances), but people are getting into it again. Are there any guys like that? (I think Bo Byram and... Cozens, maybe? Is that right?) If there are videos or interviews of that, that is also vvvvv compelling, even if I'm not into the ship it does make me curious to know more about a relationship in general. Owen Power was on one of those very homoerotic college teams, right, does he have any teammates nearby? JJ Peterka and Jack Quinn have excellent chemistry and the Sabres social media know it, which I appreciate. And then there are the individual personalities. Dahlin's aquarium video was hilarious. Tage Thompson might not have a personality (he very well could I just haven't seen one yet) but he is an excellent artist. And Jeff Skinner. We cannot sleep on Jeff Skinner. He is an absolute fandom goldmine, from the figure skating past to the very real personality to the fact that he's def a cutie (appeal to the more mature folk! and everyone else!) to the fact that he's got the NHL record for most games played without a playoff appearance (poor dude), he's a compelling dude and how could you NOT root for him.

stealth-hot anon yay hello again!!!!!!

unfortunately the sabres are doomed by the narrative :(( I wasn't really a big fan of them last year, but I get the sense that they were actually a really fun team to watch (high scoring, promising young talent, admittedly questionable goaltending) and thus the vibes (and filmed content!!) popped off. Then this year started shit and decidedly unfun and killed the vibes that were cultivated last year :( Dylan Cozen's been kind of cold all year, Tage has been alternately injured and/or underperforming, and it doesn't help that Jack Quinn's been out of the lineup for the majority of the season (but it seems like he's coming back soon!), so there hasn't been nearly the same amount of fun off-ice content for fans to sink their teeth into this year...that said, I have faith for next year!!

as for interpersonal player narratives...dylan/bo definitely has good potential but i think the air of tragedy that still clings to the trade needs some time to clear LOL

"Owen Power was on one of those very homoerotic college teams, right," LMAOOOO I'm not really into NCAA fan/shipping culture, but I know Owen and Kent Johnson is/was a pretty big self-sustaining thing? Might need to look into the state that ship is in...

And JJ and Jack. Now that's a duo. Every video they're in together is simply incredible, I have no shame in admitting I've watched all of them more times than I can recall. I think I have 2? 3? WIPs going for them rn?

But yeah, shipping aside, they're just an extremely charming team with great group chemistry and individual personalities. I won't stop clocking into my shift at the sabres fandom mines to get more people to let the light into their lives🫡

#stealth-hot anon always a pleasure to speak with you!!! #asks #anonymous

[broadstbroskis]

thanksgiving | jeff skinner

a/n: it’s here!!! this is like 4k that i threw together in like a week after i took it as a personal challenge from @blueskrugs after i asked why we don’t write more thanksgiving fics. a huge shoutout to her and @danglesnipecelly, for inspiration and cheering me on for this, as well as literally anyone else who’s cheered me on to finish thing, you’re all the real mvps and i love you all 💚

-----

Jeff shrugs, and from across the table filled with pizza, beer, and a bunch of other things that are most definitely not on his approved list of foods, you stare at him.

“I dunno. I don’t really have plans, I guess? Probably just sit at home, relax a little?” He says. Your jaw drops. He has...he has what now? “You're going to your parent’s right?” You nod slowly, still stuck on the fact that he’s going to sit at home and do nothing on Thanksgiving, the best of all holidays. Not spend the day with some teammates, not make a quick trip to his family, nothing. “That’ll be fun!” Jeff grins, dimples popping. “What are you-”

“You’re doing nothing?” You get out finally, the words coming back to you.

Jeff’s smile falters, but only slightly, and he nods. “Yeah? I mean, there’s no practice, no games. I’ll just…” He trails off for a second and then shrugs. “Rest.”

“You’re not going to go, like, visit your parents? They’re right across the border!”

“It’s a Thursday.” Jeff says patiently and you abruptly remember that his Canadian-ness is the whole point of this conversation.

“Thanksgiving is the best holiday! You can’t sit at home alone on it; I forbid it!” Jeff’s smile grows again as he laughs and you try and fight your own grin as you shove at his shoulders, to no avail. “Come home with me!”

“What?” He laughs again, but this time, it’s more like disbelief.

But the idea is already growing in your mind. “Come home with me! You know my parents love you, they won’t mind at all!”

“I can’t just invite myself to your Thanksgiving!” Jeff protests.

You wave him off. “You’re not, I’m inviting you! Come on, we’d love to have you!” He still looks hesitant, so you add, “Our Thanksgiving is huge anyway; one extra mouth to feed isn’t going to put anyone out, Jeff.”

“Alright.” He caves, and you grin, pulling your phone close to you to text your mom and let her know. “But ask your mom, okay? Like, really ask her, don’t just, like, tell her I’m coming.”

“Too late!” You say cheerfully, showing him the text you’d sent in your family group chat, telling them you were bringing Jeff with you next week. Your mom’s already responded with a string of happy face emojis and your younger sister with a How I Met Your Mother gif about Canadian Thanksgiving. “Be prepared for a lot of Canada jokes!”

“Is that supposed to be different than any other time I see your family?’ Jeff deadpans, but you’re pretty sure he looks like, at least 50% more relaxed, so you count this as a win and ignore him completely, already mentally planning for the best holiday of the year.

-----

The drive back home to your parents takes about an hour longer than you’d like, stuck in the same godawful traffic as everyone else trying to leave Buffalo on Wednesday so that they can get back home in time to go out that night. 

When Jeff finally pulls his car up in front of your childhood home, you can already see that it’s bustling with activity, getting ready for tomorrow. Most of your siblings have already arrived- only your older brother, with his wife and daughters will come in tomorrow, with the rest of your family- but your younger brother and sister have already come home, a fact that’s even more evident when you and Jeff walk in the front door and immediately trip over three pairs of sneakers.

“Liam!” You cry, grabbing onto Jeff so you don’t fall. “Motherfucker, move your shoes!”

Your brother pops his head out of the living room, AirPods in his ears. “I’m on a call!” And just as you're marveling at the fact that your brother is a real person with a real job taking real work calls, said real person with a real job spots Jeff and lights up. “Jeff! Bro! What’s up, man?”

“I thought you were on a call.” You snap at him.

“I’m on mute.” Liam slaps his palm against Jeff’s pulling him in for a ridiculous handshake-bro hug combo, before he finally comes over and lifts you off the floor. “Yo!”

“Yo!” You repeat, honestly unable to believe you’re related to this kid. If the two of you didn’t look exactly alike, you’d probably think he was adopted. “You still coming out tonight?”

“Hell yeah, this is my last call. I’m ready to go.”

You snicker, looking down at his sweatpants and dress shirt combo- he must have taken a video call at some point today. “Yeah, okay, bud.”

He ruffles your hair, in that annoying way he’s been able to do ever since he grew taller than you. “Don’t you worry, I will be.”

You laugh, ducking under his arm, to let him get back to it. You’ve got no doubts about that. Liam’s always ready to party. “Finish your call so we can start pregaming.”

He grins, like you knew he would. “Now we’re talking.” And then he ducks back into your dad’s office.

Jeff is laughing when you look back at him and you give him a look. “What?”

“Nothing, just forgot how the two of you were when you got going.”

“Yup, and you’re stuck with us for next two days!” You grin.

Jeff rolls his eyes at you, but he’s still smiling when he follows you to the kitchen, in search of your mom. She’s at the counter, rolling dough for biscuits, her only other contribution to the annual Thanksgiving dinner that she hosts, besides the turkey; a holiday that she’d taken over hosting once it had become too much for your grandmother to handle, but only on the caveat that everyone began contributing food toward the meal. It’s been a potluck style holiday ever since.

She’s ultra-focused, the volume on her favorite playlist high (this wild mix of 80’s pop and today’s hits that’s actually kind of a banger), so you sneak up behind her and wrap your arms around her. “Hi!”

“Jesus!” Your mom jumps, elbowing you in the process, but you’re laughing too hard to care. “Don’t do that!”

“Just excited to see you!” You beam at her, squeezing her once more, before pulling away. “Where do you want the pie?” Jeff lifts the pie you’d made yesterday, showing your mom.

Your mom purses her lips, studying the kitchen around her. “Leave it on the counter for now; I’ll have your dad clear some space in the garage.” She gestures with her elbow. “Hi Jeff!” 

“Hi!” Jeff pulls out his best smile, a real one, dimples super popped. “Thank you for having me-”

Your mom cuts him off before he can finish, like you knew she would. “Oh, we’re so happy you could make it! You’re welcome anytime, Jeff!” She assures him.

“Is the guest room ready?” You ask. “We’ll throw our stuff upstairs before Dad sees it at the bottom of the steps and has a fit.”

Your mom fights back a laugh at that- a statement that everyone in your family knows all too well-but then looks almost apologetic as she finishes, “It is, but we gave it to Katie.”

“Oh, Katie’s here too?” Your sister’s roommate at college was, at this point, basically another sister to you. She hardly went home for breaks within the semesters, usually came up for at least a month during the summer, and more often than not came home with Abby when she was back for anything. The “guest room” really was more like Katie’s room at this point. 

“Where else would she be?” Abby appears, right on cue, with Katie right behind her, practically matching in leggings and oversized sorority shirts. “It’s Thanksgiving; she’s ready to rage tonight.”

You actually can’t wait for the babies to be hungover tomorrow-both were 21 for their first Thanksgiving Eve and you know they’re going to be in a super rough spot tomorrow-but you keep that thought to yourself. 

“It didn’t even occur to me!” Your mom says apologetically. “I just gave Katie her usual room.”

“No, it’s cool. Jeff and I can share. He doesn’t mind, right?” But you barely even wait for his shrug and nod in agreement. It’s not like you haven’t before, when you’re either too lazy or too drunk to go home. You’re both adults, it’s no big. “I’ve shared a bed with you before; I’ll spare Katie the bruised shins.” You tease your sister.

Katie cracks up as Abby sputters out how rude you are. “It’s a hazard!” Katie agrees, dodging the swat your sister sends towards her. It sets the two of them off, which you take as your cue to grab Jeff’s hand and drag him (and your stuff) up to your room.

Of course, usually when you’re sharing a bed with Jeff, it’s a king sized bed, or at least a queen- definitely not the double that your parents just shoved in your old room to replace the queen bed that had been in there until you moved out and took your furniture with you. You hadn’t realized how small it was though, not until today, until the idea of actually having to share it with someone, with Jeff, who might not be a giant, but isn’t tiny.  “Sorry.” You apologize, almost unsure of what you’re saying.

Jeff shrugs. “Well, at least you don’t kick.” He smiles, as then it’s like everything’s back to normal, that awkward feeling that was growing over you gone as quickly as it came. 

“She’s a bruiser, don’t let her tell you otherwise.” You throw your bag down, rifling through it for the sweater you were planning to wear tomorrow, to hang it up so it isn’t too wrinkled.

Jeff laughs. “I’ll take your word for it.” He’s holding up his shirt, a button down and a tie. “Where can I hang this?”

“You can’t wear that!”

He frowns, likely at the vehemence you’d just spoken that with. “Uhh, why not?”

“You’ll get roasted.” Seriously, you’d told him it wasn’t a dressy affair. God, what part of not dressy does he think requires a tie? “Don’t you have, like, a sweater?”

“I mean, yeah, but-”

“Sweater and jeans, that’s fine.”

Jeff gives you a look. “That doesn’t seem-”

“Sweater. And jeans.” You repeat. He’ll thank you tomorrow, when your uncle doesn’t ask him when tea is. When your cousin doesn’t talk to him only in a fake British accent for the entire night. 

Jeff hands over a sweater, a soft thing you’ve seen him wear on many occasions, and you smile your thanks at him, hanging it up next to yours. “Meet your standards?” He asks; you think he’s aiming for teasing but he kind of misses the mark, sounding a little more nervous than joking.

“Perfect.” He smiles back at you and you laugh. “Come on, you dork. Let’s go see what’s for dinner tonight.”

-----

“Don’t wake me up when you come in tonight!” Your dad calls, as he drops the five of you off at Mel’s, the bar for Thanksgiving Eve. Your friends are already at the bar, you’re anticipating a high school reunion for sure, and you’ve warned Jeff of this, even though he assured you that he could handle it, and he was just excited for a nice, chill night.

You’d actually laughed out loud at that. Oh Jeffrey. 

“Pshh.” Liam waves your dad off. “I haven’t done that since I was like 16 and still having to sneak out.”

Your dad gives him a look. “I was talking to your sister.” He looks over at Abby, who ignores him completely, in favor of taking a SnapChat with Katie, and he sighs resolutely. You all absolutely know she isn’t listening to a word he says. “Have fun, be safe. Uber home.”

Liam salutes him. “Will do.”

Inside the bar, the night starts exactly as you and Liam have started your last few Thanksgiving Eve’s-with a round of shots at the bar as you’re ordering drinks, before splitting off to find your respective friends to start the evening.

Jeff fits in with your friends fantastically, laughing and joking around with them like he’s known them forever, even though you’re sure the only one he’s met is your oldest friend, Ashley. But he greets Ashley and her husband, Brian, like old friends, and quickly joins conversations with all your other friends, and soon hours have passed before your brother is sliding up behind you. “Heads up.” Liam mutters as he passes. “Douche at 3 o’clock.”

You tense as it takes everything in you not to turn and look over. “Hey.” Jeff nudges you, concern clear in his eyes as he looks at you, and you’re not sure what he pulled himself away from, but you must look pretty bad. “You okay?”

You nod, kinda spacily, but leaning in closer to him, and he takes the cue to curl in toward you- you’re not really interested in shouting to the entire bar and you’re really not interested in drawing attention to yourself. “Yeah, just- my ex is over there.”

Jeff purses his lips for a minute and then schools his face back to neutral. “I take it things didn’t end well.”

“No.” You say, thinking of the demise of your relationship with Dylan. “It did not.”

You hadn’t even realized that Jeff grabbed your hand until he’s squeezing it gently. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” You shake your head. “It was...definitely for the best.” It might have taken you a while to see that, but you can now, even if the rare instances you still see Dylan sometimes rattles you. “I thought I was going to marry him, at one point, but I’m so much happier here now.”

Jeff smiles. “Good.”

You squeeze his hand once more, a thanks for his comfort and care, before both of you rejoin the conversation, and you forget about Dylan entirely for the next hour, until you physically run into him coming back from the bar with another round of drinks for you and Jeff.

“Hey!” Dylan beams at you, goes right in for a cheek kiss, like you’re still that familiar, and once again you stiffen up.

“Hi.” You return politely, ready to sidestep around him and return to Jeff and your friends.

“No, wait.” Dylan steps with you, blocking your path. “I haven’t seen you in forever. Let’s catch up a minute, what’s new?”

“No offense, Dylan, but I’m not really looking to catch up with you.” You say flatly.

He opens his mouth to respond, but before he can another voice cuts in. “Everything okay here?” Jeff asks politely, stepping very purposefully next to you, and Dylan’s eyes immediately fly over to him.

“Mhmm,” You nod. “Was just on my way back to you.”

“Good.” Jeff says, in a tone far more harsh than you usually hear him take. “Let’s get back.” He positions himself again, clearing a space for you to easily slip past Dylan, and then steps closely behind you, catching up quickly.

“Thanks.” You lean against him, gently, not looking to spill either of your drinks, but Jeff solves that problem by taking his.

“Any time.” Jeff says softly and you don’t have much else to say on the matter so you just nudge him once more in thanks and walk back toward your friends with him at your side.

-----

When you wake up the next morning, you’re warm and comfortable and only a little hungover, which you count as a huge success. There’s not too much noise going on downstairs yet, which means you definitely have some more time to sleep, so you curl back into your pillow, humming contently when it pulls you in closer.

And then your eyes pop open abruptly, because pillows don’t do that.

Except they do when they look like Jeff Skinner, who looks just as soft and warm and comfortable as you feel right now, still sleeping judging by the evenness of his breath. 

It’s just...it’s a really nice way to wake up, with Jeff’s kind-of smiling face, looking super soft and cozy as he breathes just on the wrong side of too loud, but not so loudly that it drives you nuts. 

It’s a little too early to unpack that, and your hangover might not be that bad but it’s definitely bad enough that you’re not ready to think on that, so you close your eyes and let yourself curl into Jeff and fall back asleep.

-----

When you do finally get out of bed, Thanksgiving morning is its usual chaos, running around with last minute errands, cleaning, and helping your mom in the kitchen. The last to shower for the day, by the time you arrive downstairs, the Lions vs. Bears game is well underway, your notoriously early grandparents have already arrived, and your grandmother is already asking your mom where that one turkey decoration she bought her one year is.

You bypass the kitchen entirely and move toward the living room, where you find your dad, grandfather, Jeff, and siblings all gathered, just as you’d expected. You slide down on the floor next to Jeff, knowing that it’s only a matter of time before more of your family arrives and you’re offering your set up anyway, and wait for the next round of chaos to begin.

It doesn’t take long. Your aunts, uncles, and cousins start pouring in and then it’s just introduction after introduction, as you wrap up showing off Jeff to one group just as the next arrives. You are absolutely confident he has no idea who anyone is, but it’s fine, because he’s still laughing and joking around with all your uncles and cousins that have joined you in watching football. 

The kitchen is its own brand of chaos, when you make a quick stop in on your back from a beer run, but chaos has never stopped your aunt before and it certainly isn’t today. “Oh my god!” She exclaims, after you’ve pressed a smacking kiss to the top of your grandmom’s head. “That boy!”

“What boy?” You ask, like an idiot, which is immediately clear from the looks you get from everyone in the kitchen, even your usually oblivious uncle, who’s doing...something...with the ham they’d brought. “Who, Jeff?”

“Yes.” Another aunt stresses. “He’s cute!”

You shrug. “Yeah, I mean-”

But your grandmom cuts you off this time. “And so friendly! Just the nicest boy! Oh, you couldn’t have found anyone better!” She exclaims.

“Well, I haven’t.” You announce, watching all of their faces fall. “So sorry to burst that bubble.”

“Why?” One of your older cousins frowns. “Girl. Get on that. You are not going to do better than that boy in there.”

“I truly don’t know if that was meant to be a dig at me or you all think that highly of Jeff already, but regardless. We are just friends.” Now everyone in the kitchen is giving you a look. You gather the beers and retreat, distributing them as you return to your spot on the floor near Jeff.

He’s giving you a look as you pass him his, but whatever’s on your face must not be too bad, because he just thanks you as you pass him the bottle, and you nod in return as you try to find the same comfortable spot as before, leaning against his thigh.

-----

Your dad catches you a bit later, as he’s coming back with beers this time and you’re coming out of the bathroom, and he nudges you carefully as you take a few bottles from his hand. “So Jeff?”

You groan. The tone of that statement was far too loaded. “Jesus, you too?”

Your dad laughs. “Who else?”

“Everyone.”

“Well maybe that should be your hint.” Your dad says teasingly, but also not? There’s definitely some seriousness to this. “That Jeff’s pretty perfect for you.”

You stare at him. “You’ve met Jeff, like, a hundred times. Why’s this coming out now?”

“I always thought you were my smart kid and that you’d figure it out yourself.” He muses. “Now I realize you’re only book-smart and you’d never figure this out on your own.” And then he leaves you there in the hallway, with your jaw dropped and too many thoughts, as he continues on, laughing at you.

-----

When the call to come serve yourselves echoes into the room, the usual mad scramble follows immediately. It’s only as you’re getting into line behind your brother that you realize that Jeff’s not with you anymore, and you abandon the long line waiting for food, in favor of seeking out Jeff.

You find Jeff upstairs, in your room, just kind of lounging on your bed, and you lean against the doorway. “Hey! Food’s ready.”

“Yeah.” Jeff nods, the smile he sends you back in return far too tight and forced to be genuine. “Be right down.”

But he doesn’t move, so you step in and climb into your bed next to him. “What’s wrong?”

Jeff laughs; it’s kind of hollow and doesn’t sound anything like his usual loud laugh or his giggles that you love. “What- nothing. Nothing’s wrong.”

“Jeff.” You say softly. “Come on.”

He sighs. “Why did you bring me here?”

That...was not at all what you expected. “What?”

“Why did you bring me here?” He repeats. “Why did you bring me home, to your family? I thought, maybe, finally…” He trails off for a minute. “Except, there’s like ten other randos here too!” He laughs again, that hollow thing that you’re already hating. “Everybody in this family just brings people home, and that’s awesome, okay? Please don’t ever change that about yourself. I just-I thought we had something special, is all.” He says, sounding almost sad? Melancholy? 

“You are special.” You hate this. Jeff should never be sad; he should always be happy and smiling and joking. This is worse than seeing him after losses, worse than seeing him at low points in the season, that one game when he realizes that shit’s done and they’re just playing to keep playing now, that playoffs won’t be coming this year, again. “Jeff, you’re-”

“I’m in love with you.” Jeff says and it’s so straight-up, matter-of-fact, like it’s never not been a fact for him. “And I’m sorry I’ve fucked things up here for tonight and made this so awkward. I just- being here with you and your family just made me want you that much more.”

There’s so so so much you want to say to Jeff, but it’s like time is frozen. You can’t speak, can’t move, can’t do anything except look at him in awe, until he starts to move off your bed, when you reach for him, finally, resting your hand on his thigh, relieved when he looks back at you. “My dad thinks I’m an idiot.” You blurt out and Jeff just gives you a look. “I’m sorry; that wasn’t what I wanted to say.” You take a deep breath, trying to gather the jumble of thoughts in your head. “Or at least, not the only thing. He thinks I’m an idiot because he thinks you’re perfect for me and I didn’t see it. My whole family thinks you’re perfect- cute and friendly and nice- and god, Jeff, you are! You’re all those things!” He’s still watching you, with like, barely the smallest hint of a smile on his face. “I just-didn’t realize you were perfect for me until we came here.”

Now he’s full on beaming, dimples showing, and you don’t even realize that you’re returning the grin until his hand comes up to your face, thumbing at the corner of your lip. “I’m sorry I’m a dumbass.” You finish lamely, too busy smiling at Jeff. “Please kiss me so we can make sure we get biscuits.”

Jeff hums. “I don’t know if I can kiss you now and just...stop.”

“Well I’m not going down to eat until you do.” You say stubbornly. “And you’ve been hyping up those biscuits since breakfast.”

“Fair enough.” Jeff laughs and then you’re smiling into the best first kiss you’ve ever had, tangling your hands into his hair and wondering if you may actually end up missing the meal this year.

#jeff skinner imagine #jeff skinner fanfic #jeff skinner fanfiction #hockey imagine #hockey fanfic #Hockey Fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #my hockey fics

[trashforhockeyguys]

Days Gone Silent - Jeff Skinner

Part two to Days Gone Quiet.

A/N: So, pregnancy, mentions of a possible miscarriage, trip to the hospital. If any of those things make you uncomfortable, maybe don’t read. 

A whopping 6.6K, but I’m honestly very proud of this story. I’m proud of how this story is. I’m proud of the character growth.

Two pink lines. That was all you could see. Those two stupid lines. Seemed ironic to you that there happened to be a vicious thunderstorm outside. Each clap made you jump, but it was those two lines that made you feel sick. Those two lines….they weren’t what you wanted. 

Your hands shook as you tried to get a grip on yourself. You had to meet Jason in twenty minutes. You were going to the Sabers game tonight. You almost wanted to laugh. This wasn’t supposed to be your life. 

You pulled at your hair for a moment. This was not how your twenties were meant to go. You shook your head and pushed away from the counter before throwing the test in the trash. You could push it out of your mind for one night. 

You arrived at the arena later than planned. Still, you didn’t rush to your seat. You didn’t run to meet Jason. Instead you slowly walked up to your level. Jason liked the higher levels because he could see more. Plus he liked it when you were able to explain the plays to him.

“You’re late. Nearly missed half of the period,” Jason announced when you sat down next to him. 

“Sorry…” You trailed off, scanning the bench even though you knew he wouldn’t be on it, “Um. Yeah, sorry. There was traffic.”

“You okay?” Jason asked.

You nodded slowly. You knew he wasn’t on the ice, he hadn’t been cleared yet. But you knew him well enough to know that he was in the arena. He was here. You hadn’t seen or spoken to him since you left his apartment nearly two months ago...but he was here.

It was half way through the first intermission before you spoke again, “I’m pregnant.”

“Oh..wow..” He blew out a deep breath, “Well, at least we know I’m not the dad.”

“Jason.”

He studied your face before looking back at the ice, realization seeming to hit him like a truck, “Oh shit. It’s his.”

“Well...that’s the only option.”

You scratched at your neck and tried not to keep looking for him. You felt sick, but a different kind of sick. You tried so hard not to think about it. Or to think about the argument that ruined your once perfect relationship with the one man you loved more than anything. 

The engagement ended, mere months before the wedding, because of one simple thing- you didn’t want kids.

You’d never been that person that saw yourself having children. Never thought about being a mother. You loved kids, always swore you’d be the best godmother and aunt, but never mother. That’s what ended it. He wanted them, so desperately, and you didn’t. He knew that it was one thing you wouldn’t waiver on. You would bend when it came to so much, but this was one thing you were going to stand firm on. 

You could still remember the way he looked at the spare bedroom, telling you that he thought that it would one day become a nursery. You remembered the hurt that fell across his face when you made it abundantly clear that it would never happen. 

“Okay...So you call him and tell him,” Jason shrugged, “He’s a good guy, he’ll take care of you.”

“You don’t get it Jase,” You sighed, “I never wanted this. He’s always been the one that wanted kids, I never ever wanted to be a mom.”

“We’ll, there’s option 2,” He said almost grimly.

“No…” You shook your head, “I need to tell him. I might hate it...but damnit he has a say in this.”

You tugged on your hair and tried to figure out how you were supposed to tell him. It had been nearly two months since you talked last. You were the one who left this time. You doubted you could just call him out of the blue. You knew you couldn’t just spring it on him, even though that’s all you wanted to do. You wanted to just rip off the bandaid, tell him and get it over with. Figure out how you were meant to move on from this.

“Or maybe I just don’t tell him.”

“Y/N, you know you can’t do that.”

“I know...I just-” You took a deep breath and tried to push down the feeling, “We didn’t get married because I didn’t want kids. And then when he got hurt we kind of found our way back to each other, until we both slipped and now there’s a fucking baby.”

Jason grabbed your hand, trying to calm you down as best as he could. He might not have known you as long as Jeff had, but he knew when you were stressed. And this….this was more than stress. 

Meanwhile, across the rink, Jeff could see you from the box the team put him in. He was off his crutches, and was allowed to skate again, but hadn’t been fully cleared to play. He thought about calling you since you left his apartment. He wanted to have you back in his life, but he also knew you’d run if he tried. But he missed you. He missed the late nights and the quiet mornings spent in bed. He wished there would've been a way that the two of you could’ve worked it out. It had only taken him a couple of weeks after the entail breakup to realize he didn’t want to live his life without you, but the damage had already been done and he didn’t know how to reverse any of it.

He could see you clutching onto another man, he was pretty sure it was that guy you’d told him about. A blind date that turned into a great friendship. He tried not to be jealous of the way you leaned into the guy, the way you seemed to cling to him. Jeff knew he had no right to those feelings.  

But he still felt like you were his forever...even if he knew that wasn’t going to happen now.

It was nearly a week later when you walked out of the office, a small stack of pictures in your hand. It was a little blob, barely more than a blip on the paper, but it was there. You were nearly out of the first trimester. It was real now.

You took several deep breaths as you walked through downtown. This was really happening, there was nothing you could really do about it. There was going to be a baby. You tried to imagine what your life was going to look like now. Your apartment was big enough for now. But the thought of moving back home to be closer to your family sounded nice, just so you could have help. You weren’t sure how you were even meant to raise a child. 

You found yourself pulling your jacket in closer. The cold wind caused you to shiver. You knew you needed to call Jeff….whatever happened, he deserved to know. Especially when he was the one who always wanted this life. He wanted the white picket fence and swingsets. 

“Y/N!”

You looked up to see Jack just a few feet away from you. Startled, you dropped the small stack of black and white photos. You jumped, realizing he was moving to pick them up. He got to them before you could fully tell your body to grab them first. You could see the emotions fly across his face before he handed them back to you. 

“Do you want to go get some lunch?” He asked, taking you by surprise. 

You let out a deep breath before nodding, “Yeah...lunch would be good.”

So the two of you landed at a table in the corner of the restaurant he brought you to. You knew Jack wouldn’t bombard you with questions, but you knew he had them. He, like the rest of the team, knew you were living with Jeff while he was getting back on his feet, literally. It wouldn’t take much to try to put two and two together. 

“So..are you okay?” 

You weren’t expecting that to be the first thing he asked you. Jack, the sweet man that you and Jeff both befriended not long after coming to Buffalo. The man that was there for Jeff after the breakup, who let him crash on his couch more than enough times. The one who would still like and comment on all of your posts, especially when you got a massive promotion. He was sitting there like nothing ever changed, like you hadn’t forced all of them to choose Jeff. 

“I um-” You shook your head slightly, “I don’t think so. Not this time.”

He reached his hand across the table and gently grabbed yours, “I’ll be here, if you need a friend.”

“You’re not even going to ask?” I questioned, “You don’t care who’s it is?”

“I didn’t think I had to ask. He was pretty forthcoming with the details of those weeks.”

“I didn’t- I hurt him again. Again and again and again, that’s all I do.”

Jack shrugged, “You two are fire and ice, but somehow I don’t think either of you mind in the moment. It’s when you leave each other again that the pain sets in.”

You shook your head, “We broke it all off for a reason. Seems like the universe didn’t care. I missed a couple of pills, and now…”

“It happens.”

“Not to me, it doesn’t. But...here I am anyway.”

“And you haven’t told him yet?” His tone was cautious, he didn’t want to overstep. 

“You would’ve known if I had. Just not sure how to…”

He smiled softly and squeezed your hand, “It’s Jeff, he’ll be alright.”

And so that night you found yourself outside of Jeff’s apartment. You bounced on your feet and tried to gather enough courage to knock on his door. Your stomach twisted, you weren’t sure if it was because of the morning sickness that took hold of you all hours of the day, or if it was your own fear.

You were sure you looked awful. You’d spent the last couple of hours throwing up. It seemed the thing inside you didn’t appreciate the lunch you’d eaten with Jack. Although, there was little that that tiny little blip did like. 

You raised your hand and gently knocked on the door. So gently, you wondered if he even heard it. But then you could hear the scuffle from the otherside of the door, maybe even some laughing. 

His face was flushed, a careless smile was spread across his face. His shirt was half unbuttoned and you could smell the cheap perfume, it was enough to make you want to vomit all over again. 

“Y/N,” He looked as if he’d been hit. 

“Hey come back, I’m lonely,” The female voice called from somewhere inside. 

You were stunned. You felt cornered. I could feel myself backing away, trying to make a quick escape but my body wouldn’t let me. As much as I wanted to run, my legs were stuck.

“I’m sorry...I-” You couldn’t finish before the smell of that perfume became too much. You turned and ran as fast as you could, until you were outside and the cold crisp air hit you. But even then, you found yourself hunched over the nearest trashcan as the heaving began. You wanted all of this to just be over already. The sickness and the feeling like the world was going to cave in on you. You wanted to feel happy like so many other moms. But you were scared. Only scared. 

“Y/N?” 

Next thing you knew, you could feel someone pulling your hair back out of your face. The wind stinging as it hit the warm tears that were falling. You hated getting sick. But you hated whatever was going on upstairs even more. 

He still smelled like her, of course he would. You knew Jeff, he likely just bolted after you as soon as you ran, leaving her alone. Once you composed yourself enough you tried to put enough distance between you two. Knowing if you got closer it would all just start again. 

“Just...stay there.”

“What’s going on? Are you okay?” He was panicked.

“You should-” You took another deep breath of the cold air to try and clear your lungs, “You should go back. You’re busy.”

“Fuck that,” He snapped, “What’s going on with you? You show up and then just bolt?”

“Seriously, unless you want me to start throwing up again...you should go back inside.”

“What the hell Y/N?”

“It’s the perfume, okay. I can’t- the smell makes me sick.”

He laughed almost coldly. You hadn’t seen this side of him since the night you broke things off. He was angry, he had every right to be. 

“Then maybe you should have called before you just showed up here for nothing,” His tone made you take a step back, “Obviously I was preoccupied. So I think I will go back upstairs.”

“I’m-” Your voice was so small as he turned and took a few steps, “Jeffy.”

He turned at the sound of your voice breaking, “Jeff...I’m pregnant.”

He went quiet and unmoving. Your hands were clenched at your side, not anywhere near your stomach, where the ghost of a bump was starting to form. Yet, his eyes drifted there anyway. You wished you knew what he was thinking. You almost wanted to laugh at how cruel all of this seemed. You and Jeff would’ve been happily married by now, living in the house with the white fence, and this wouldn’t have been such a shock. 

“I should-” He took a deep breath, still looking at your stomach, “I should go tell her to leave.”

“Jeff.”

“You can wait outside the door if you want,” He said, “I’ll change too.”

“Jeff.”

“Isn’t that way you came then?” He asked, turning back towards you, “To talk about this? To talk options.”

“I thought-you aren’t mad?”

“Jesus. No. We weren’t exactly the most sensible during those months. Not that I expected this, or wanted this for you. But...how are you?”

You weren’t sure how to answer. Too much was going on inside your head. You had no idea how you were, “I don’t know. I’m...I’m pregnant. I don’t know.” 

“How?” He took a deep breath, “How far along?”

“Far enough,” You stated. 

You could see him trying to do the math. He’d always been attentive. When you were still together he knew when to expect your period, and knew when you were late. You often wondered if he didn’t have it marked in his calendar so he’d know what to expect from you.

“Sometime either right before or not long after I left,” You answered the question you knew he was silently asking. 

“Give me five minutes, you can wait in the lobby if you want.”

“No, it’s okay...We can talk tomorrow,” You said, a weird sense of guilt washing over you. 

His face changed, something seemed to shift within him, “I turned you out into the cold once, Y/N,” He stated sadly, “I refused to listen. I won’t make that mistake again. So...please.”

You nodded slowly, knowing this was something the both of you needed to do tonight. Before either of you lost courage, or somehow decided this wasn’t a good idea at all. So you slowly followed him back inside, letting the warmth of the building overtake you. But rather than waiting in the lobby, you opted for the small sitting area at the other end of his floor, far enough away from his door that his friend wouldn’t see you. It seemed odd to you that you felt a pang of jealousy in your chest, he wasn’t yours anymore. 

Having his child didn’t change anything. You weren’t together. Even after all of the years you spent sleeping next to him, you had no claim to him anymore. Not after you walked out on him again. 

“You’re still here,” Jeff said a few minutes later, seemingly stunned by the fact you were right where he left you. 

“I told you I wouldn’t go anywhere,” You whispered, “But I guess I don’t blame you. I’m not always the best at keeping promises.”

He let out a small laugh, like it was meant to cover up the pain you knew you caused him, “I put a kettle on. You can still have tea, right?”

“I don’t think it’ll kill me.”

The apartment smelled clean, like he’d opened windows to air it back out. The pillows on the couch, which you were sure had been thrown, were back where they belonged. If you didn’t know any better you would’ve thought he’d just come home from a road trip and the apartment was cleaned while he was away.

“How are you, really?” He asked you. 

You sighed and started to play with your fingers, “Sick all of the time, and achy. I get these horrible headaches too, sometimes they’re so bad it’s hard to move,” You explained to him, “And I’m tired. God, I’m always so tired. Little thing is zapping everything out of me I guess.”

“I’m sorry, Y/N,” You could hear the guilt in his voice without even looking up, “I know this isn’t what you wanted. I’m sorry.”

You tried not to think back to the night your engagement ended. How different this conversation was to the one had that night. It seemed almost funny to you how different both of you had become since then. Both of you grew, but you had to grow apart in some ways. 

“You’re right….I didn’t want this,” You said softly, almost a whisper, “I never saw myself with kids. And to be honest I’m still not sure that I do see myself with them. But this is happening Jeff. And I haven’t really let myself think about it, but...I think I could want this.”

You tried to force down the wave of feelings that was building, “I never wanted the picket fence and swingsets and stepping on Legos all the time...and there’s still a big part of me that’s terrified of what’s coming. But then there are other days, when I’m in bed alone at night, or during the day when it’s quiet, that I just feel… I don’t know really. But I can see the picket fence, and the dirty diapers, and the little mighty mite hockey games down the road. And I think I’m excited, and happy. But I don’t know how to be, because I hurt you when I said I’d never want this, and now I-”

“Shh,” He pulled you into his chest, holding you as tightly as he dared to, “This is happening, it doesn’t matter anymore. If you want the picket fence then we’ll figure out a way to get that life back. But you won’t be doing any of it alone.”

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to do anything Jeff,” You admitted, “I don’t want you to feel like I’ve trapped you.”

He nearly laughed and gently grabbed your hands, “Funny, last year you were saying I was the one trapping you.”

“Jeffy-”

“Believe it or not, I’ve been hoping you’d come back since the second you left. This is just a little extra,” He shrugged like it was no big deal, “We’re in this together now. Now drink your tea, you look like you need it.”

“You bought more of this?” You said after taking a sip of the tea that you’d been drinking for years. 

His back was to you as he fixed a cup for himself, “Like I said, I kept hoping you’d come back.”

Your chest hurt. He didn’t seem to miss you all that much, but you knew he wouldn’t lie about something like that. One thing about Jeff was the fact that he had his heart on his sleeve, always had. From the moment you met him during his rookie year, you knew that. You tried not to let tears burst forward. Now was not the time for that. 

“I’m-” You swallowed the large lump in your throat, a hand wandered down to your stomach, “I’m sorry I took so long.”

“You look like you’re about ready to drop,” He stated, “You’re free to steal some of my clothes and make yourself at home. I don’t want to send you back out into this snow, it’ll only get worse.” 

You nodded slowly and made your way to his room once you finished your tea. Not much had changed in the short time since you’d last been in here, other than the fact that he’d replaced the bedspread like you suggested to him. 

For a second you allowed yourself to close your eyes and see the life he could obviously see so clearly. For as long as you could remember, your future never looked clear to you. You couldn’t see things the way he could, you only saw yourself as you were in that moment. 

Yet, you could almost see the two of you cuddling a small baby. You could see him teaching them how to skate when they were old enough. Maybe in a couple of years, you could have another. He always wanted more than one, you knew that. 

You pulled out a pair of sweatpants from one of his drawers, you knew normally they’d be too big, but you were already starting to put on some extra weight. You pulled your sweater over your head, catching sight of your reflection on the mirror that hung on the back of his closet door. 

You didn’t look pregnant, and aside from being unbelievably sick half of the time, you didn’t feel pregnant. Yet, even still, there was the smallest swell of your stomach, to anyone else it would just look like you were bloated. Had too much bread, or ate too much and had a food baby. But you knew...you knew. 

You stepped closer to the mirror, dropping your sweater on the bed. You hadn’t really allowed yourself to really think about any of it. You blocked out most of your doctor’s appointment, all you had to know was that the baby was healthy. The rest just sort of got blurred out.

So you stood, sideways so you could really get a look. You knew it would get bigger in the coming weeks. You wouldn’t be able to hide it anymore, everyone at work would know. You’d have to call and tell your family for sure, and Jeff….he would have to tell his family too. 

You were going to have his baby. For better or worse, you two would be parents. 

“Do you want any-” Jeff fell silent at the sight of you gently holding your stomach. 

You didn’t move, as if you didn’t even hear him. He leaned against the doorframe and watched you. Your eyes were glued to your reflection, so deep in thought you had no idea of your surroundings. He knew you didn’t want kids, but he also knew you’d be an amazing mom. He’d known that for years, he remembered watching you with his teammate’s babies over the years, and just how wonderful you were with them. He never would’ve forced you to have a family, but he couldn’t wait to see you with this child. 

He knew you were scared, hell he was terrified. He didn’t know how to be a dad, he didn’t know the first thing about pregnancy, or what the two of you were going to be once this was all over. But he knew he was excited to be a dad. He might not have been ready, and this wasn’t how he planned it all to be, but he was ready.

He took a step towards you when he noticed your shoulders started shaking as you fought off tears. He wouldn’t pretend to know what was going on inside your head, but he knew that you needed him. Even if you wouldn’t admit it, you needed him. 

“I’ve got you,” He pulled you into his chest, not even skipping a beat. 

“I’m pregnant,” You finally felt the full force of the situation hitting you. 

You were going to be a mom. This wasn’t something you could avoid, you were having a baby. You were responsible for a human life. Your body shook against his as you cried. You couldn’t figure out if you were happy now or not. As much as you never wanted a child, you did want this. You wanted the picket fence life with Jeff. You wanted this baby that was growing within you. The little blob on the pictures. The blob that was changing your life already. 

“Jeffy, we’re having a baby,” You sobbed.

He held you, not quite knowing if he needed to try to calm you down, or cry with you. He carefully pushed you back towards the bed and pulled you into his lap. Without even realizing it, you grabbed his hand and put it on your stomach. His touch was calming to you, always had been. 

He was one of the only people who could calm you down during the worst storms...this was another storm. Just a different kind of storm.

Two weeks later, you were splitting your time between your apartment and Jeff’s. He wanted to spend as much time with you as he could. There were very distinct lines that had been drawn, and the two of you tried desperately not to cross them. For the sake of your baby, you tried not to toe them, tried not to be anything but friends with him. But you wanted to be close to him all of the time. 

Keeping distance when his teammates were around though, was hard. Jack knew, not only because you told him, but because Jeff did as well. As for your families, you didn’t yet know how you were supposed to do that. You weren’t sure how either of your families were going to react to the news. But you’d worry about that later.

Because right now you and Jeff were curled up in his bed, his hand resting on your belly, which was slowly getting bigger. You were almost to the point where you couldn’t hide it anymore. Your larger sweaters were almost too small. The thought almost excited you, you felt like you were ready to show off. 

Jeff was fast asleep next to you, but didn’t dare to let go of you. This was how it was when you stayed with him. You couldn’t deny that you felt safer in his arms, you always had. You slept better too.

It was a sharp pain that ripped you from your peaceful sleep. You let out a cry as it ripped through you again. Jeff was sitting up in an instant, reaching over to turn on the lamp on the nightstand. You nearly screamed when you moved the blankets away and saw red. No sound would come out though, only tears as you couldn’t take your eyes off from it. 

Jeff was moving as soon as he saw it. He tugged on a shirt and grabbed an extra pair of pants for you, the thickest pair of sweatpants that he owned, and a sweatshirt. You barely moved as he carefully put them both onto you, all you could do was hold your stomach. 

“It’s too much,” You mumbled, almost in a trance, “Jeff there’s...it’s too much blood.”

“Shh,” He tried to quell your fears, and tried to force down his own, “We’re going to get you to the hospital okay? It’s going to be fine.”

But how could it be when you could practically feel that perfect life slipping away from you. Bit by bit, you could see it all falling away. You said nothing as he drove you to the nearest hospital. You only cried and winced with each new bit of pain. You knew what this meant...you knew it was over.

Jeff tried to reach over for your hand, if only to try to comfort you and make sure that you knew you weren’t alone. But you shied away from him. He would blame you for this. You didn’t want the baby in the first place, surely this was your fault somehow. 

You felt almost numb.

You fell asleep shortly after the doctors finished running tests. They were able to stop the bleeding, but didn’t yet know what your condition was. All you could do was sleep. Jeff was pacing in the halls, having been asked to wait until the doctors were done with you. He’d been promised a nurse would come for him, but he just wanted to be by your side. He promised you wouldn’t be in this alone, and he felt like he was abandoning you. 

He wanted to call his parents and beg for help, but they didn’t know. Most of the team didn’t know. Neither did your family. The two of you were alone in this for now. He was alone in this...and you were alone. For as long as they kept him away. 

“Mr. Skinner?”

Jeff’s movements stopped as he saw the doctor coming towards him. His breath halted, he knew just as well as you did what the outcome was going to be. Even he knew that was too much blood no matter the stage you were in. You were past the point where spotting was normal, and that was far from spotting. 

He tried to brace himself, he tried to come to peace with it. Even if it was only so that he could be strong for you. He knew you were excited, you wanted to take daily pictures of your growing bump so that you could show them off when the time came. You’d been so excited to find out what you were having at your next appointment, and made Jeff swear he’d be there. As if he would miss that appointment for the world. He caught you looking at nursery ideas on Pinterest. He knew you were ready for this now. And just as you’d come to terms with it, and allowed yourself to be excited about the baby, it was taken from you. 

“We stopped the bleeding, we’re still working to find the cause of it. But we’d like to keep them here at least overnight, so that we’ll be able to monitor both mom and baby,” The doctor explained. 

Jeff’s knees threatened to give out, “Both of them?” He tried not to hope. God did he try, but all he could do was think that maybe it wasn’t all gone. 

“The baby is fine, Mr. Skinner, as is Miss Y/L/N. We have her on fluids and we’ve given her some blood, but we’ll continue to run tests to find the cause,” The doctor paused when they truly saw the look on Jeff’s face and gently put a hand on his shoulder, “Your baby is just fine. Trying to kick up a storm by the looks of the last ultrasound.”

“They’re both okay?” Tears finally fell from Jeff’s eyes. He wasn’t able to hold them back any longer. He tried to prepare himself for the heartbreak that he thought was going to come, but he never considered that he might find relief by the end of the night, “They’re okay?”

The doctor smiled softly and nodded, “I’ll take you to her room. She’s asleep, but I’m sure you’d like to be there when she wakes up.”

Jeff sat by your side for hours, constantly looking over to the fetal heart monitor. Sometimes his hand would rest over your stomach, he couldn’t feel the baby but he knew it was there. That was enough for him. You began to stir quite a few hours later. Jeff was exhausted, but knew he needed to be awake when you finally came around. 

He sat straight up and held onto your hand tightly. You started silently crying almost instantly, thinking the worst had come to pass. 

“I’m sorry,” Your voice, though not above a whisper, broke. 

“Shh, you’re okay,” He kissed your hand, “Love, you’re both okay.”

At that exact moment, one of the doctors came in, rolling a large screen attached to a machine in with her. Your confusion didn’t go away as you addressed the room. You were hooked up to double the monitors, but that shouldn’t be the case. 

“Alright, time to check on how you’re both doing,” The doctor announced, “And, this time you’ll both get to see your baby.”

“I don’t understand I-” 

Jeff kissed your hand again, eyes brimmed with tears, “You’re both okay, Y/N. The baby is okay.”

You were released three days later. The second you got back into Jeff’s apartment you went to the couch. You’d been placed on bedrest, for the sake of you and your baby. You weren’t thrilled about it. It meant you had to be relieved from work for the time being, and you wouldn’t be able to go to any games or really go anywhere at all. But your baby was fine, healthy even. 

“She’s a fighter, like her mom,” Jeff said, catching you looking down at your belly. 

“She scared the living hell out of us,” You replied, “Listen here little miss, don’t do that again for a long time. You need to be gentle with me, I’m new to this.”

Jeff laughed softly and put down your bags before joining you on the couch. He wrapped his arms around you, allowing you to rest your head on his shoulder. The world seemed so different to both of you now. The three days spent in the hospital, you both realized the lines you’d drawn no longer mattered. There was you and him and the baby. Your little family.

“I still want to marry you,” He stated. 

“And I still want to be married to you,” You replied, “Just...after she comes.”

“I’ll hold you to that,” Jeff warned.

He put a hand on your stomach just in time to feel a tiny little kick. She wasn’t kicking with much force yet, but she was kicking. Jeff still couldn’t believe he was having a daughter. He declared that it was the only good thing to come out of the trip to the hospital. He got to see his baby for the first time, all ten fingers and toes. Got to see her little face, and point out the fact that she already looked so much like you. He didn’t know he could love something so much, without even having met her yet. But she was his, and she was yours. A perfect combination of the two of you, even if she wasn’t planned. She was still loved.

The coming days and weeks blurred together. You weren’t able to go anywhere. You did a lot of online shopping so you’d be able to put together a little nursery. Jeff had a spare bedroom that you’d use. Both of you decided not long after your trip to the hospital that you should stay there. Besides, home was always where Jeff was. Your little apartment was just a place you ran to, because you didn’t feel like you had a home anymore. You had more than a home now though. 

Jason came by a lot. He was finally able to meet Jeff, making Jeff realize Jason was really like a brother to you these days. Jason stayed a lot when Jeff was gone for games. He kept you company and called you at least everyday. He helped out a lot more than you ever expected him to. But he made you promise you’d grant him the title of Uncle Jase when the time came.

The news of the baby took both of your families by surprise. They didn’t know you two were still close. It nearly made you laugh when your parents went silent before your mom started screaming. Jeff’s family was a little more laid back, but even you could tell they were holding back. The sight of you and Jeff holding onto one another while showing them the pictures from the ultrasounds was too much for both sets of parents. Because the two of you were finally getting your happy ending. 

“What about Caroline?” Jeff questioned as the two of you sat trying to figure out a name. 

“Caroline? I thought you wanted a family name?” 

“I think that name is more important.”

“How so?” Confusion took over you. 

“For Carolina. We wouldn’t have met if I hadn’t been drafted by the Canes,” He clarified, “Or if you hadn’t gone to NC State.”

“Technically we met because you, Mr. Hotshot Rookie, showed up to the State Hockey House,” You laughed, “I was half drunk, but there you were with rosey cheeks and goofy smile.”

He laughed, “We played beer pong together, right?”

“You lost the game, and I threw up in the bushes.”

His laugh was loud as he recalled those events, “Ah college and the early years.”

You smiled and kissed his neck. Your little girl was kicking up a storm under Jeff’s hand. Her little movements followed wherever he moved, either with a foot or a hand. He’d play the game with her for hours, until she seemed to fall asleep. He’d poke where a foot was and she’d kick back. You already learned she seemed to like hockey, as she became more active when you watched it. Or maybe it was because you got more excited. 

Jeff would come home and give you both details about the game, his head was always by your belly so she could hear him better. Nights like that made you want to cry. There was a whole new world that the two of you were about to enter into and you couldn’t wait. You wanted to be able to hold the little girl you’d once been so afraid of. 

“She’s kicking a lot tonight,” Jeff whispered. 

“She likes it when you’re here. A daddy’s girl already,” You told him. 

“She’s already taken my heart, just like her mama,” He replied, “I love you, Y/N.”

“I love you too, Twirly Bird.”

Your daughter was born shortly after that night. A few weeks early, but she decided she just didn’t want to wait anymore. You and Jeff loved her from the moment her cries broke through the room. You named her Caroline afterall, agreeing that it was the perfect name. You and Jeff were married not long after. The wedding was small, nothing big. A year after Caroline was born, the three of you moved into a spacious house, big enough for more children. 

It didn’t take you long to realize you wanted more. You didn’t want it to just be Caroline. There was a large yard, big enough for a swingset and plenty of room for her to play when she was old enough. Her little feet padded on the hardwood floors all the time, constantly chasing after the dogs. 

But the best thing about the house, besides the fact that it was where your family was going to grow? The fact that you finally had a white picket fence with Jeff. After all of the bumps in the road, and the number of times you walked out on each other. You finally had the life that you never thought you wanted. But it turned out to be the life you didn’t know you needed.

#Jeff skinner #Jeff skinner imagine #Jeff skinner imagines #Jeff skinner fanfic #Jeff skinner fanfiction #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #hockey imagines #hockey imagine #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #buffalo sabres #sabers imagine #sabers imagines

[matthewtkachuk]

if i showed up on your doorstep at 2 am, would you slam the door in my face or invite me in - jeff skinner

Despite a decades long friendship, the revelation that your best friend Jeff loved you resulted in you moving home and cutting him off completely. Two years later you show up on his doorstep.

pairing: jeff skinner x reader

warnings: angst, mentions of alcohol

word count: 9k

a/n: y'all made me do it. special thanks to everyone who read this on google docs and gave their opinion on the perfume they wear

It’s a two hour drive from Markham to Buffalo.

Jeff knows this because he’s made the drive plenty of times - for family dinners and his mom’s birthday and celebratory drinks when Jill got her first job out of college.

He also knows this because that’s how far away you are physically, but mentally and emotionally you’re oceans away.

Best friends from an early age, you were an honorary Skinner before you could even read. They loved you like you were family, and you loved them that fiercely in return. Well, almost all of them. You and Jeff had always had a special bond, far beyond that of any of his other siblings or your own. A bond so special you had no problem following him to Carolina when he was drafted.

Things had broken down spectacularly in Carolina, a string of miscommunications and hurt feelings snowballing until not a single scrap of your friendship remained. Words were exchanged, shouted and screamed and sobbed, and then silence. The only sound after was the click of the door that you shut behind you.

Last he heard you were well on your way to becoming someone else’s wife.

It’s not the same guy you had been dating when things fell apart in your friendship. No, you’d cut that one loose when you fled for the familiarity of home. Nick was someone you’d both grown up with, part of your friend group but never able to breach the inner circle that was you and Jeff. Until you’d shown up broken-hearted in your hometown and ran into him down Main Street.

Jeff’s got a lot of regrets - missed shots and unnecessary penalty minutes, the doubt that creeps in when he’s in the middle of a scoring drought - but his biggest regret is letting you slip through his fingers. Because for as long as Jeff can remember, it’s always been you. Even when he didn’t know it, even when girls had cooties, even when he was still denying it himself, it’s always been you.

It’s too bad that for you, it wasn’t Jeff.

That’s about where things broke down in the kitchen of the home you shared in Raleigh. It was the same old story - the guy you had been seeing had been treating you wrong. Ignoring your messages for days, breaking plans and just overall acting shady. Out of concern for you, and with the unofficial support of a few friends you’d made out there, he’d cornered you in that kitchen to tell you that you deserved more.

He’d been right, of course, but the confrontation had sparked your fight or flight. As someone who’d never ran from a fight or adversity before, you’d dug your heels into the ground and raised your fists.

It was then, in the midst of a terrible fight that you’d realized the truth. Your friendship with Jeff was built on a lie. Because as much as you had always thought he respected you as a friend and as a person, Jeff had spent the entirety of your friendship halfway in love with you.

Fear gripping your heart and entirely on edge, you’d laughed. You’d laughed and absolutely destroyed him. More words were exchanged between the two of you and then nothing. Words you’d never take back, words he desperately wished he could.

A lifetime of friendship gone in the blink of an eye and he still didn’t know how it happened. He’d gone over it a hundred different times in a hundred different ways and he still didn’t understand it. How he’d wanted all of you, but settled for most of you. How he didn’t even have some of you anymore, how he really had none of you now.

How he had to hear thirdhand from his sister who heard from your brother that you were now sporting an expensive ring on your left hand from a guy who used to put gum in your hair.

He supposes it’s a cute story, a real lifetime original movie of a romance.

He realizes he probably won’t even get to see a wedding picture.

Buffalo was an easy choice when his contract ended and your perfume no longer lingered in his home.

He’s happy here - a lot closer to his family, and the guys on the team are a good bunch. They’re struggling, and he’s not putting up the numbers he all but promised when he signed his name on the dotted line, but they’re working hard and he’s optimistic.

There’s only one real other downside here.

You’re a two hour drive away, but you’ve never been so mentally and emotionally far away.

-

Two hours away, your life isn’t the picture perfect made for TV movie romance it appears to be. Sure, you’ve got the ring and the guy and the condo with the great view. You’ve got an okay job and your parents are proud of you, except... Except. Except. Except.

Except the metal of the ring is a gaudy yellow gold, when silver has been your preferred style since junior high. Except the condo with the great view doesn’t even have your name on the lease. Except your okay job is slowly killing you, your boss is a dick and your coworkers talk shit about you behind your back and you feel like you’re wasting your degree with menial tasks.

Except the guy isn’t who you thought he was, hell he’s not even who he was only a few short months ago before he put the lurid ring on your finger after a proposal that was far too public for your liking. Nick had been so attentive and sweet, reeling you in with honeyed compliments and promises, dates where time felt like it hadn’t passed at all yet like you’d lived a hundred lives together. Now, Nick paid more attention to the television or his secretary or his phone than you.

Once, Nick had been a cold beer on the patio kind of guy. Now, you couldn’t remember the last time you had spent more than five minutes with him sober.

He didn’t hit you, he didn’t cheat on you, he didn’t belittle you. It also felt like he didn’t love you.

The pressure is stifling, the weight of your burdens suffocating. The ring on your hand and the promise on your tongue are leaden and heavy. Every day you wake up and wonder if you’re making a mistake. Every day you wake up and think about how all you’ve ever done in your life is make mistakes.

Except Jeff.

Until you’d made a mistake there, too.

When you let your fears and anxieties dictate your behavior. When you’d ran at the first sign of trouble. When you’d used his feelings as a scapegoat, pushing and pulling and gnawing at that hurt in your chest rather than acknowledge your own hidden feelings beside it.

Nick shifts in bed beside you, limbs half hanging off the edge of the bed in an attempt to keep as much distance between you as possible. At least, that’s what it feels like. Once, you’d fallen asleep in each other’s arms. Once, you sought out each other’s familiar warmth at night. Once, you’d woken up limbs as entangled as your hearts and souls.

The clock on your nightstand reads midnight, but it could be any time and no time at all as far as you’re concerned. You slip from bed and pull on a hoodie. It’s old and faded and Jeff’s. Looking at yourself in the bathroom mirror you search for even a fraction of who you used to be, a hint of the girl you used to see reflected back at you. She’s not there.

But you can try and find her again.

Quietly, you pack a bag and write a note in your sloped handwriting with a blue pen on the back of a takeout menu. Gently, you place the yellow gold ring beside it and slip out into the night.

-

Carolina is warm. Like your mother’s embrace, like your niece’s laughter, like Jeff’s smile. Many people told you that you would regret following him out here, but you didn’t think you ever would. Because alongside seeing your best friend on a near daily basis, you’d also accumulated a solid group of friends with your best interests at heart, and you’d even found yourself someone to love the way you always wanted.

If that desire to love and be loved in return blinded you to the reality of your relationship, that was between you and him as far as you were concerned. Even as your friends grew worried, you brushed off their concerns and made excuses. He’s just working late, he’s just busy, he lost track of time. They let it go, let you sit in your own delusions of grandeur as you live in Jeff’s apartment and date someone who doesn’t deserve you and on and on.

Until Jeff can’t anymore.

Until you’re sitting on your shared couch with your makeup done just right, the pretty little black dress you’d been planning on wearing safely tucked back in your closet, and the most melancholy expression on your face.

It breaks Jeff’s heart, really it does. And not only because he’s been in love with you since before he knew there was a name for what he was feeling in his chest, but because you’re his best friend and you deserve a lot more than some broken promises and empty words. He bites his tongue through the entirety of a Leafs game you’d insisted the two of you watch together, even as your voice was barren of all emotion.

But then the game is over, and you’re moving robotically through the kitchen, movement broken and hindered just as your spirit is and suddenly Jeff can’t hold it in anymore.

“You can’t keep letting him do it to you.” It’s blurted and messy, but it does it’s job, the words shaking you from your emotional zombie like state.

“What are you talking about?” You try to deflect, try to answer him with a question, try to ignore the pit growing in your stomach.

Unfortunately for you, Jeff knows you better than probably any other person on the planet, and certainly better than anyone in Carolina. “He treats you like shit and you just let him.”

“What am I supposed to do? Break up with him?” You scoff, “I love him Jeff! So what if he misses date night now and then or doesn’t always answer when I call? I love him!”

He turns on you quickly, desperation swimming in his eyes. He wants to tell you everything. Wants to wrap you up in his arms and love you right. But that’s not who you are and that’s not what you do, so instead he tries to get you to see reason. “Do you? Or are you just so blinded by your desire to be loved that you can’t see that he’s not good enough for you?”

It stings because you know he’s right. Deep down, you know you deserve more than half baked apologies and a derelict of a boyfriend. But you also fear that this might be it, your only shot at that happiness. So what if your boyfriend isn’t perfect. Show you a guy who is? For a moment you stare at Jeff, but that just brings on another wave of fear and anxiety and so you shout. “Oh and who is good enough for me huh? Please tell me I am so curious to know.”

It’s silent then as your words sink in all around you both. They twist and turn and curl around you, cutting you off from Jeff as it hits you.

Oh.

Oh.

He feels it too, your sudden realization and it’s terrifying. It’s terrifying and scary and every other adjective out there to have his heart ripped from his chest and beating on the kitchen island for you to finally, really and truly, see.

And then you laugh. It’s not the laughter that he loves to hear, not the sweet giggle turned into gasping howls when you find amusement in something beautiful the world has to offer. It’s maniacal and hysterical and just fucking cruel as you gaze on his vulnerability and laugh.

He feels his heart break, feels it absolutely shatter as you pack your shit and go. Feels it as you sweep up the fractured pieces and deposit them directly in the trash.

It’s silent when you finally leave, no trace of your laughter remaining.

You don’t look back.

-

His phone reads 2 am when Jeff rolls over in bed to check it. For a moment he’s confused, disoriented and dazed as he tries to figure out what has woken him. And then he hears the frantic knocking at his front door. He gets up quickly, pulling on a pair of sweatpants in case it’s sweet Mrs. Higgins at the door. It wouldn’t be the first time she knocked on his door, but never this early in the morning. The thought of it potentially being some emergency has his movements quickening, hastened by the thought of something terrible wrong.

Except, instead of the sweet elderly lady who lives across the hall, it’s you in a pair of athletic shorts and a sweater of his he hadn’t seen since you left.

Maybe it’s stupid, but he thought you would look different. You don’t, though. Your hair is the same tone it’s always been, framing your face the way it always has. Even the sight of you in his hoodie is familiar, even as it warms him from the inside out. If he didn’t know better, didn’t have months and months of angst and pining and regret, he could almost pretend he was back in Carolina and you were still oblivious to the way you held his heart in your hands.

Almost.

Because alongside the warmth and the desire to pull you into his arms is the quiet devastation of your laughter and the thought of the large ring you should be wearing on your left hand. Jeff’s never been the kind of guy who could school his emotions, his grin too bright and uncontrollable like the sun rising in the east. Contrarily, every negative emotion rolls across his face more akin to large storm clouds rolling over the horizon. Now, confusion is written clear as day in the lines of his face as his eyes focus on the tan line in lieu of an engagement ring.

The silence is almost as stifling as the thought of the future you had been building. You don’t know what to say though, no words seeming big enough to fully encapsulate all you’re feeling. Truth be told, you don’t have a good reason for showing up here at two in the morning on his doorstep. There really isn’t a good reason. You don’t have a script carefully created, or a detailed pro con list, or a venn diagram showing the intersectionality of past and future and present.

He looks good, even if the expression on his face is more akin to shock than joy, even if he kinda looks like he could cry, even if you feel like you’re about to. You miss him. He’s right fucking there and you miss him. It’s been a dull ache in your chest in the past two years, but now the pain is sharp and shooting, radiating from the top of your head to your toes. Even just being here, in his presence, it’s like finally coming up for air after being stuck at the bottom of a swimming pool. Oxygen floods your lungs for the first time in months, a fog lifts from your mind, but the dark cloud remains shrouding you both. Because it’s still silent, and you’re itching to run.

To him, from him, into his arms, back into the night. You’re not entirely sure, but the urge is there all the same. Something deep within you calls to him, but something a lot closer to the surface is screaming at you to go. You shouldn’t have come here, shouldn’t have left Nick, certainly shouldn’t have driven two hours in the middle of the night.

But then he’s opening his arms and you fall right into them, like you were meant to do it all along. You fit like two puzzle pieces, even if the picture they’re part of is faded and worn, even if the edges are bent and torn, even if it takes a little wiggling to get them to fit together just right.

“How did we get here?” you blurt stupidly, the filter between your brain and your mouth nowhere to be seen. He doesn’t immediately react, not verbally at least, but you feel him stiffen all around you. Very carefully, he pulls back from you, a near unreadable expression on his face. The way his eyebrows have come together in the middle of his face tells you he’s upset. The lack of a smile only further validates the thought. “I mean- That’s not what I wanted to say-”

You see the internal struggle play out on his face through the scrunching of his nose, the twitching of his jaw. Finally, he settles on something simple. “Why are you here?”

“I don’t know Jeff,” you sigh in return. It’s not the right thing, not even close. You know that before he reacts, but you still wince at the look he gives you. It’s broken, desperate, practically begging for you to lay your cards out on the table.

“That’s bullshit,” he replies, uttering your name. “Tell me the truth, what are you doing here at an apartment you’ve never been to in the middle of the night without your engagement ring? Huh?”

“Jeff-”

“Tell me the truth, please.” He’s not so much angry as he is hurt, and confused. Scared too, that you’re about to run off on him again but he can’t just sit here and let you pretend like you have no idea what possessed you to drive two hours to him in the middle of the night. “Not a word out of you in two years, and then you just show up here. Tell me the truth.”

“I don’t know what I’m doing here, Jeff, okay? I don’t know! I don’t know if I’m still engaged, I don’t know why it’s taken me so long to reach out-” It’s not exactly true, but you’re not lying either. You’re not being purposefully deceitful, but the two hour drive hadn’t given you the clarity you’d hoped you’d find before ending up here.

“Are we just not going to talk about it?” He doesn’t have to elaborate further, despite your clear desire to ignore the fight that wrecked you both, it weighs as heavily on you as it does him. It kills you to think he doesn’t see that. As if he couldn’t see how destroyed you were by the thought of your life moving on without him in any capacity.

“I don’t- I don’t think there’s anything to talk about that other than what has already been said,” you say quietly, trying to keep your voice neutral. You cringe as you watch the anger light within him, the struck match finding the kerosene soaked rag you’d left behind.

“Jesus, you’re acting like I did something wrong. Like- Like I’d destroyed some precious family heirloom or kissed your sister something. Stop deflecting, my only crime was in loving you.” And there it is again, although this time spelled out a lot more clearly.

Love.

Jeff loved you.

Like, romantic, two and a half kids and a dog and a big house in the suburbs love. And you didn’t love Jeff like that, don’t love Jeff like that. Right?

He continues, taking your silence as an invitation to further the conversation, but it feels a lot more like a talking to than anything. “I never asked for anything from you. Ever. In the twenty some years of our friendship, I never asked you to want me or love me back. I never even told you that I loved you. You figured it out and you laughed at me and you ran. And then I didn’t hear from you for two years. I had to find out from my sister who found out from your brother that you were engaged to that dick who used to tease you in elementary school. So cut the shit, why are you here?”

It’s not unfair, the words and accusations he levels at you. It’s not unfair and it’s not untruthful and it’s certainly not uncalled for. It still makes tears spring to your eyes, makes your hand and bottom lip shake. “This was a mistake,” you spit out quickly and hastily make your retreat, wiping at your cheekbones with the heels of your hands. Jeff is quick to swear and utter your name, but you don’t stop.

He curses as he slams the door shut behind you. Although a very large part of him wants to rip the door open and chase after you, he doesn’t think “NHL forward chases girl in apartment building” is the kind of headline he wants his name attached to. He also knows you’re not in the proper state of mind for any confrontation or conversation for that matter. You’re so frustratingly deep inside your own head, you can’t see the forest for the trees.

It’s true, he’s never asked you for a damn thing in the entirety of your friendship, always willing to give and give and give. It’s you who had been so happy to take and take and take. His limited time, his attention, his energy, his smiles reserved specially for you, his hairbrained advice and his outstretched hand. Even in the deepest throes of his love for you, he never expected you to reciprocate or even acknowledge it. He was content to be your best friend for the rest of your lives, quietly resigned to sit at your right hand through thick and thin. For your happiness, he was ready to watch as you found love elsewhere, as you built a future with someone who wasn’t him. Because a future with you, even if he could never have you exactly the way he wanted you was more than worth it.

Until you’d taken his feelings and thrown them right back at him.

It’s near 3 am now, and he knows his best course of action is to get back into bed, try and get some sleep. After all, in the morning he’s got a two hour drive.

-

You cry the entire way home, barely managing to pull yourself together enough to cross at the border without causing some sort of international incident. It’s late when you pull into the driveway of your childhood home. Despite your best efforts to quietly slip into the house after finding the spare key tucked in its usual hiding spot, your mom is flicking on the light to the kitchen and calling your name with confusion laced alongside the exhaustion in her tone.

Collapsing into her arms you tell her everything. From the fight two years ago to the one only two hours ago. There’s not a single detail you don’t include, well except for one. Being the remarkable woman you know her to be, she manages to pull it out of you anyway with a simple question. “Are you in love with him too?”

“It’s not that simple,” you reply carefully, but the look she gives you is so knowing it makes your stomach twist.

“It could be,” she says knowingly and it’s only slightly more annoying at twenty something years old than it was when you were in high school. The look is the same and her tone is the same, and if you’re really being honest, even the boy is the same. It’s been Jeff at the forefront of your mind and on the front step of this house and in the frame of every picture on the mantel. Always Jeff holding your hand in one of his while the other held so delicately onto your heart. Always something more just barely out of reach, on the peripheral of your vision if only you would smarten up and grasp it.

“It can’t,” finally leaves your lips, voice broken in a way that only the weight of your own actions can. Your mother knows you better than almost any other person on the planet, a consequence of knowing you for every single second of your existence, and so she knows when it’s time to surrender the battle in order to win the war. She pulls you in for a tight hug, her embrace more calming and soothing than any natural ailment cure in the world before she goes back to bed, shutting the light off as she goes.

The couch isn’t the most comfortable, nothing like the faded leather sectional that Jeff had in your apartment in Raleigh. Your bedroom became an office two weeks after you left for college, and the spare room more likely than not was covered in random items that your parents hadn’t had the time to put away. The blanket you wrap yourself in is familiar, a patchwork quilt gifted to your family by your grandmother. You know if you were to look through the photos on display this very quilt would feature in multiple of the ones of you and Jeff.

It’s a comforting thought as you drift to sleep, so close to the sweet rest of unconsciousness when your phone buzzes once, then twice. Suddenly the vibration pattern indicates there’s a phone call coming through. You ignore it, turning onto your side so that your face is smushed into the back of the couch, willing whoever it is to give up. Your phone buzzes signifying the caller left a voicemail before the familiar pattern begins again. Who in the world would be calling you at 5 in the morning?

You shoot up, quilt falling to the floor as you consider it might be Jeff. There’s a large part of you that feels terrible for the way your stomach sinks as Nick’s photo lights up your screen. So he woke up and found you gone. You flick up the screen, simultaneously unlocking the phone and silencing the vibration to see several unread messages. They’re in varying degrees of panic, wondering where you are, wondering why you’d left behind your ring.

It’s late and you’re tired, so tired of being sad and lonely and unhappy that you turn your phone to do not disturb and get some sleep.

-

In hindsight Jeff should have known better than to jinx himself the way he had as your door swings open to reveal your mom. He doesn’t want to do the small talk thing, not when your car is in the driveway and he can see your coat hanging on the hook just behind the open door. “Hey, mom,” he speaks softly, mouth upturned in some sort of smile-grimace hybrid gesture. “Is she here?”

“It’s good to see you Jeff,” she says by way of greeting instead, “Why don’t you come inside?”

Your head perks up at the mention of his name, every sad curve of your body screaming with your regret. There’s barely a moment’s pause before you’re launching off the couch and into his arms. He’s not prepared for it, having spent the entirety of the drive rehearsing his apology, practicing the words he would say to convince you to let him back into your life. There aren’t words to describe how right it feels to have his arms wrapped tightly around you, to be so completely surrounded and encapsulated by all that is his large presence. If you had to try though, there’s only one word that comes close to portraying it all: home.

Jeff’s arm’s are the greatest home you’ve ever known, far beyond that of the four walls surrounding you, or the neighborhood or even the city itself. He was always your safe space, your soft spot to land, the one place you could always turn no matter the circumstances. Until he wasn’t. Until you couldn’t.

It could have been two seconds, two minutes, two hours or two years - simultaneously the longest moment and the shortest breath as you stood with him on the precipice of your childhood home. You’re not entirely sure when your mom snuck away, but she’s not lingering as you finally pull from him. “I’m sorry,” you both blurt out at the same time.

“I’m sorry I keep running.” It’s a tough admission to make, to admit that at least that much is definitively your fault. Other parts of the friendship breakdown are your burdens to carry, too - your reactions, your inappropriate laughter and hasty retreat, the two years of cut off communication at your continued behest.

But you’re not alone in your ownership here, either. Jeff all but confirms it with a quiet “I’m sorry I never told you. But look at your reaction and tell me I didn’t have a good reason to keep it to myself.”

And again and again the blame shifts back to you, because you were callous and cold in your recoil, because you were the unreasonable one, because his crime had been only what he said - in loving you behind your back.

“I don’t want to play the blame game,” he sighs finally, the quiet, lingering hurt written across the planes of your face so clear to see, cutting him just as much as it pains you. “I just want my best friend.”

There’s more he wants, of course. If he’s really and truly honest with himself he wants your love, too. He’s got some of it, certainly, obvious in the way you look at him and the way your body so perfectly curves around his own. It’s in nights past, sleepovers and secrets and swimming pools. It’s some of you, but not all of you.

It’s not the way you look first thing in the morning, sleep heavy on your eyelids and a desire for coffee running through your veins. It’s not the little black dress picked out just for him, or your heels in his hand as he gives you a piggyback ride home, or locked limbs on the sofa while you watch a romantic comedy on netflix.

It’s not all of you, and there’s never been so clearly poignant a reminder as your fiance - boyfriend? ex? acquaintance? - Nick bursting through your front door and setting fire to any goodwill that you’d managed to build together. It’s so startling a reminder, Jeff feels it like a punch to the gut, the despair of never knowing what it’s like to have all your love swirling and turning.

“I’m gonna go.” You want to reach for him, but something about his body language screams that he would only dodge your advance and so you keep your hands to yourself, eyes darting wildly between the two men.

“Jeff-”

He says your name so sweetly, if it weren’t for the look on his face you might not even know something was wrong, and then repeats himself. “I’m gonna go. I think there’s a conversation you need to be having and it’s more important than the one we’re having.”

Jeff leaves without another word and it’s like he took a piece of you with him, as you stand in your living room without a single thing to say to the man in front of you.

“It’s him, isn’t it?” Nick breaks the silence first, and your shoulders deflate at the thought of it all. How do you explain to him that you just truly don’t know what you want anymore? You’re so confused by everything, betrayed by your own past and your own feelings, you’re not sure of anything. Well, anything except the fact that you can’t marry him. He pulls the ring out of his pocket, idly twisting and turning and spinning the metal object in his grasp as the quiet surrounds you both.

He doesn’t get angry and for that you’re grateful, you’re not sure you have it in you to fight like that, not so soon after last night with Jeff. “It’s not like that-”

“Then what’s it like, because from where I’m sitting I woke up alone, with your ring and a shitty apology scribbled on a pizza delivery menu, and now you’re here with someone you said you hadn’t spoken to in years.”

And yeah, it looks bad because it is bad, but it’s not bad in the way he’s thinking. “I hadn’t! It’s not- I just-” You have to stop, pausing to catch your breath and let your brain catch up to your mouth. “Do you love me?” you ask, finally.

The three second pause tells you more than he ever could.

You’re not sure what Nick thought he would be walking into, or what he had hoped to accomplish by showing up here. You don’t think reciprocal apologies, a tight hug with a lingering kiss pressed to a cheek and that god awful ring back in his pocket comes even close, but that’s what you leave each other with.

-

You don’t tell Jeff about what transpired in your living room after he left, and he never asks. He has plenty of opportunity to ask, though, between your daily texts and calls that come in every so often. It’s impossible to fall back into the friendship you’d so carefully curated all those years ago, too much baggage and dead weight in the way of it all, but it’s a start.

For Jeff, it’s just nice to hear about what’s going on in your life first hand, rather than to hear it from one of his sisters. He likes that he can call you after a bad game, hear your voice tell him things will be okay, that all hope isn’t lost just because he’s in a scoring rut. When they play in Toronto, he leaves you a couple tickets and pretends his heart doesn’t constrict at the sight of you in a jersey bearing his last name.

It’s nice, to have your best friend back in your life, to be able to turn to Jeff with your petty work drama or rant to him about the latest book you read after being recommended it on tik tok. You realize just how much you took for granted sharing an apartment with him, where he had been just down the hall when you needed him - whether it be a bad day, giant spider, wobbly bookcase, or any other number of things. The distance is only two hours, but fuck it feels like he’s on another continent.

It’s why you jump at the chance to head down to Buffalo for a long weekend, bags packed and mind open to all the possibilities that lay before you. You’ve had a few more conversations - with your mom, with your brother, with your best friend, with one of Jeff’s sisters - and you think you have a clearer picture of what you want. At the end of it all, what you want is Jeff, in whatever capacity you can have him in. The years without him were dark and cold, reminiscent of a harsh Canadian winter, but having him back in your life is like the first inkling of spring - green buds on trees and the sparkling gleam of melting snow. Jeff is the first breath of warming air, the bright sun rising and shining light on the world.

You don’t know if you’ll ever get enough to fill in that absence.

The reunion in Jeff’s apartment parking garage is sweet, a picturesque romantic comedy moment wherein you abandon your bags in favor of jumping into his outstretched arms. His grin is contagious, the way it splits his face wide open bringing a sense of pure elation to your system. There’s no excuse for the way you squeeze yourself around him, but you whisper “I missed you,” in his ear all the same.

He’s every bit the gentleman his mama raised, carting your heavy duffle bag with the practiced ease of a man who is constantly travelling without you having to ask. His hand briefly brushes your own as you walk side by side into his building, and as someone who has a lot of practice reading his emotions, you spot conflict and hesitance out of the corner of your eye. Taking matters into your own hands - literally - you link your hands together and don’t bother hiding your own growing smile.

You’re tired the first night you’re there, a cocktail of a disastrous week at work and the long two hour drive, and so dinner is Vietnamese, eaten on the same couch he’s had since his first year in the NHL, the very couch you had sat on the night things went to hell, the same couch you had napped on more times than you could count. For a moment it’s like you never left, like you’re sitting back in that apartment in Carolina. There’s a game on that neither of you pay attention to, and you’re definitely not sitting as close as you maybe once would have, but you could almost close your eyes and pretend.

You fall asleep with your feet in Jeff’s lap watching a movie that you couldn’t name a single actor or plot point in even if there was a gun to your head, and wake up tucked into the guest room without any recollection of even waking up. It’s the sun filtering in through the gap in the curtains, something you would have surely fixed had you not been beyond exhausted last night, and once you get up to fix it, you decide there’s no use in trying to sleep in further.

Jeff’s drinking a cup of coffee on the couch, the highlights playing with the volume down low, but his focus is more on his phone. He barely notices you sneak up on him until you’re practically on top of him, but he breaks out into a grin when he does. You swipe the mug from his hands, taking a sip and cringing at the ultra sweet taste. It’s comforting in a way even through the shock to your system, the knowledge that as much as things had changed in the past few years, he still had no restraint when it came to adding sugar and cream to his morning cup.

“So, you wanna see all the great things Buffalo has to offer?” Jeff asks with a grin while loading the dishwasher, waving off your attempts to help since he was the one who cooked, too.

You shrug nonchalantly, but you can’t stop the intrusive thought that pops in your head, the one that states you’d probably go anywhere he asked you to.

It turns out that seeing Buffalo is really just code for a trip to the zoo in the morning and early afternoon, bleeding into a quick trip to the falls. You’re a little distracted by the presence that is Jeff, coupled with the developing feelings you’ve been tripping over lately, and so you’re not as present as you’d like to be - taking a second too long to laugh at his jokes, flinching when your arms brush. You’re as quick witted as ever, though, managing to slip in a quip or two about how Niagara is better from the Canadian side alongside reminiscing about the time you’d both skipped school to take the bus to the zoo.

Jeff is nothing but kind and careful and sweet, so respectful and so cognizant of the invisible lines you’ve both drawn around you. He doesn’t take a single thing about you or your friendship for granted, and while it’s endearing, it’s also frustrating as hell that he doesn’t feel like he can just step into your space without a warning.

Dinner is a bit more of an intentional feat, meeting a few of his teammates and their girls downtown at a restaurant that has you critically picking at the rip in your jeans, but Jeff’s arm around you is grounding enough that you forget all about it before you’ve even received the drinks you ordered. His teammates are funnier than you’d previously given them credit for, and it’s another stark reminder of the way things used to be. Back in Carolina, it was more than given that you would accompany Jeff to nights out with the boys - regardless if their respective wives and girlfriends were included in the invite themselves or not.

It’s not an unfair sentiment to state that you probably had a drink or two more than you should have in polite company, but Jeff doesn’t mind. The just north of tipsy version of you is one of Jeff’s favorites - the weight of the world not so heavily on your shoulders, a near perma-grin on your face, your filter all but non existent.

Your voice is a touch too loud as you shout out goodbye to the boys and their better halves and let Jeff tuck you into the passenger seat of his car. Before he’s even moved around to his side, you’ve got your phone hooked up and are scrolling through spotify. It doesn’t even bother him that you don’t let a single song play in its entirety, skipping some four seconds in, some two minutes. All the while you’re chatting away about everything and nothing.

It’s not until you’re back in his apartment, face freshly washed and teeth brushed in your pajamas, that you let something a little more serious slip out of your mouth. Sliding over to him, it’s like you can’t pull yourself away from his energy, moving across the hardwood floor almost as if you were floating. “I missed you,” is what you speak into his chest, arms tightly wound around him.

He pulls back slightly to look you in your eyes, and for a moment you wonder if this is it. If this is the moment that your friendship has been building up to your entire lives. If this is where every hurt and every doubt and every anxiety is revealed to have been worth it, just a momentary pause on an important journey. But he just smiles in a way that makes you feel kind of sad and you don’t know why, before he’s kissing your forehead and bidding you goodnight.

-

Jeff’s gone for morning skate when you wake up, but there’s a still warm cinnamon bun from a local bakery alongside a note on the kitchen island. You relax all morning, making use of Jeff’s couch and hulu account. Few words are exchanged when he finally makes his way home, besides a murmured thank you as the two of you enjoy the lunch you cooked. His game day routine is pretty much exactly as you remember as he goes to take a quick nap after you’ve eaten.

You almost choke on your own spit when Jeff exits his bedroom again later, all dressed up in his game day best. The suit's new, you think, not one you remember from Carolina, and it fits him in all the right places. It’s the gentle way he startles, eyebrows rising as he offers you his water bottle that has your stomach flipping even harder. Shaking him off with a dismissive wave of your hand, you walk into the kitchen to give yourself some space, but Jeff’s never been very good at picking up on those non-verbal cues and so he follows you, crowding your space even further.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” he asks. When you nod, he smiles again, the corners of his eyes crinkling the way you’ve always admired. “I’ll leave you some cash for the cab, and then we can drive home together, okay?”

And it’s nothing special, no grand declaration of love, not like the ones before now. It’s no earth shattering revelation, no larger than life spectacle, no fireworks, no alternative indie soundtrack playing in the background. It’s just you. And it’s just Jeff. And it’s just everything he is.

Your best friend, your confidant, your shelter and your safe space to land.

Always so respectful of your boundaries, even as you threw every negative, hurtful word you could think of at him, even as you turned into nothing more than former friends turned strangers. And he’s just never asked for more, never demanded a thing from you, never expected more than you were willing to give. All you see is how much he cares for you, all that he used to do for you and all that he’s more than willing to do now.

You see just how good he is. To you, for you.

And God, how could you ever have been so fucking stupid? So completely, fucking blind?

It all flows through you, every individual atom of your body lighting up and coming alive with your revelation. You love him. More than someone loves their childhood best friend, more than you’ve ever loved a man before. It’s Jeff for you, and it always has been. You were foolish to ever think otherwise.

Jeff’s got no idea what’s going on in that brain of yours, though he often wishes he could read your mind. You look like you’re going through the seven stages of grief all on your own over there, and he wants to reach out and smooth the crease between your brows, but he keeps his hands to himself. If he’s honest, it’s getting harder and harder to do that. To have you so close but not in the way he wants you would be torture to anyone else.

Not to Jeff, though. Jeff just loves you and is appreciative of every piece of you that you’re willing to give him, offering his heart up in return.

His heart stumbles as you turn to face him and cross the space between you in three quick and easy strides. Jeff watches you lose your nerve the closer you get, until you’ve stopped in front of him to throw your arms around him, speaking only the most superficial of your thoughts for now. “Good luck tonight, Jeff.”

The view from the box is a good one, and the girls and families are more than welcoming, even the ones you didn’t meet last night. The large #53 jersey you wear feels a little stiff, and so you find yourself pulling at the collar intermittently all night. It feels like there are eyes on you the whole time, even though you know that’s all but impossible in the privacy of the box.

The game itself is a good one too, which is a blessing in and of itself in the midst of trying times for the team, as Jeff manages to pick up a couple points, including a short handed goal in the second. The entire time you’re flipping between worrying about your feelings and imagining every way things could go wrong, so deep in thought you almost miss the goal.

You’re not sure if you really belong here now, having followed the others down to the locker room hallway. It’s got you picking at the jersey again, wondering if you should take it off or leave it on, if you should stay put or start running. You’re torn almost directly down the middle, with half of you wanting to kiss the life out of your best friend, and the other half wanting to keep this secret buried even harder and longer than it already had.

In the end, your body chooses for you, as you find yourself running into Jeff’s arms the second he’s cleared the locker room. You don’t even take the time to admire his suit for the second time. He’s a giggly albeit confused mess as he catches you, but you don’t even give him time to think as you grab his face in your hands and press your lips to his. It’s a bit of a mess then, as he stumbles forward while whistling and catcalls are thrown around the hallway.

“It’s you, Jeff,” you state after you’ve pulled away to catch your breath, sounding every bit the cheesy romantic love story your life has become, “It’s always been you.”

The grin on his face is worth every bit of pain of the past two years, and his kiss is, too.

+1

It’s a two hour drive from Markham to Buffalo.

But that doesn’t stop your parents and brother from joining Jeff’s family in their trip down to the house you now share with Jeff for American Thanksgiving. It hadn’t worked out for everyone to come down prior to now, and Jeff hadn’t been able to come up for Canadian Thanksgiving last month, and so it’s the first real holiday you’re hosting both families for after agreeing to move in this past summer.

You’re a verifiable mess about the whole thing, starting with a mishap thawing the turkey wherein it wasn’t ready to be tossed in the oven this morning, leaving you to try and make up for lost time at a higher temperature. Earlier, you’d sent Jeff out to grab a pumpkin pie, only for him to return with apple because there ‘wasn’t a single pumpkin pie in all of Buffalo’, which resulted in you frantically trying to bake one with your very limited time.

Jeff, bless him, tries his best to help you in your chaos, but only succeeds in getting himself kicked out of the kitchen - literally as you push his larger body out of the room, while reassuring that you love him, really, but he needs to get the hell out of your way.

It doesn’t really get better, especially as you hear the distinct sound of your mom’s laughter while you’re midway through washing your hair in the shower after finally being persuaded by Jeff to do so. “It’ll be fine,” he said. “I can handle things for a few minutes,” he said. In your panic to finish showering quickly, you nearly blind yourself rinsing your hair, and slip a little as you rush out of the shower.

Everything’s fine, though, when you exit your shared bedroom, fully dressed with hair so wet you’re dripping on the hardwood. Your mom is still laughing, and your dad is smiling, and Jeff’s in the center of it all, regaling your brother with a story from the road. You only slink back to the bedroom to continue getting ready when your mom gives you a pointed look.

Jeff’s family arrives soon after, your home overrun with the energy of his five siblings, but you really and truly wouldn’t have it any other way, especially as Jeff’s hand never leaves your waist. You’re all piled in the living room, laughing and smiling and catching up with one another. It’s a great time, really, even through the chirping and the teasing about you and Jeff ‘finally getting your shit together.’

That is, until the smoke detector goes off and you gasp, “the turkey!”

As it turns out, bumping up the temperature of the oven wasn’t your best and brightest moment. Both of your moms follow you to the kitchen, your mom quickly rushing to the oven to see if anything is salvageable while Jeff’s mom comfortingly wraps an arm around your shoulders, her hand running up and down your shoulder.

It’s stupid, really, the way tears begin to burn at your waterline, but all you had wanted was a nice, perfect Thanksgiving. Maybe that was an unrealistic goal, an unattainable feat, but it’s what you wanted all the same. And it’s definitely silly, but you can’t help but feel the failed meal is somehow a reflection of your relationship, or worse yet, a prediction of your future with Jeff.

After all, if you couldn’t cook a simple turkey dinner, what hope was there for you for the rest of it?

Jeff’s more patient than you, kinder and sweeter too, and yet above all else he’s also more resourceful. A few quick phone calls reveal there’s not a lot of options for delivery on Thanksgiving, and so he settles on pizza before finding you standing in the same spot in the kitchen. Both your moms have settled into a routine of cleaning up your mess, but you’re just kind of standing there looking like someone kicked your puppy.

“Hey,” he says quietly, pulling you into his arms. You go complacently, beyond your desire to be wrapped up in him, you don’t have any energy to do anything but follow his lead. “I ordered food.”

It’s probably meant to be reassuring, but it makes you feel worse, more like a failure than you already do. And so you slump further into his arms, with a muffled ‘I’m sorry’ pressed to his chest. His hand runs through your hair for a moment before cupping your face to make your face tilt up towards his own.

“There’s nothing to be sorry for, love,” he tells you earnestly, and truthfully you believe he means every word he’s speaking, but you can’t shake the feeling of failure that has gripped your insides.

“I just wanted things to be perfect,” you whisper, avoiding eye contact.

He just smiles. “They are perfect, the important part is we’re all together. So what the turkey didn’t work out, I know you all had more than your fair share last month. And your pumpkin pies look really good.” His words make you smile in return, and his grin turns triumphant. “There’s that smile I love so much.”

And so maybe Thanksgiving isn’t the grand dinner you’d envisioned. There’s no turkey, and the stuffing and mashed potatoes look out of place next to the several large pizza boxes on the counter. But Jeff’s in your life, and even better yet you’ve let him into your heart, something he has not and will never take for granted. Both of your families are all here together, and neither of your moms are subtle about the way they grin at you and let their eyes flicker to your empty left hand.

It may be a two hour drive from Markham to Buffalo, but there’s not even two inches of space between Jeff and where you’ve fallen asleep against his shoulder while the last of the Thanksgiving football games play on TV.

#nhl fic #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #nhl x reader #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #jeff skinner fic #jeff skinner imagine #jeff skinner imagines #jeff skinner x reader #i quit tagging is hard lol #shelb writes

[hockey-fics]

Seeing Other People ~ Jeff Skinner 

Based off Seeing Other People by MacKenzie Porter (look, your girl does not like country music but I gotta say, it’s does inspire my writing more than I want to admit)

Word Count: ~2.3k

Warnings: Language, nothing major 

A/N: unedited, maybe a little rushed? Not my best work but I needed to write something to get me back into it.

You lift the coat hanger off the bar in his closet, turning towards the bed as you tug on the fabric of the dress on it. Your hands hadn’t stopped shaking since you got there. Packing up the belongings you had left in his apartment. Two years together and his apartment had become almost as much of your home as your own apartment was. You hadn’t realized how much of your stuff was at his place. Looking down at the dress your mind flashes back to the last time you wore it. Your last real date night. Dinner and drinks before wandering aimlessly around downtown, hand-in-hand under the starry cloudless night, the late summer air was just the right temperature. The night was so perfect, and you were so in love. You knew you still were. You were still in love with Jeff. 

But something was different now. You were both slowly becoming more distant. Both preoccupied by other things. Work, friends, other responsibilities had become prioritized. When the idea of taking a break came up you didn’t want to push too much against it. Perhaps it was what was right, even though the thought of leaving Jeff made your chest ache. 

Fumbling with the dress you struggle to get the shoulder over the edge of the coat hanger, tears flowing from your eyes so quickly you can no longer even see what you were doing. Walking to the edge of the bed you collapse onto the edge of it, sitting with the dress in your hands as you try to take a moment to compose yourself with a few shaky breaths. 

You hear Jeff’s footsteps a few seconds later, hoping to your feet. You had already completely fallen apart in front him a few times in this process, you didn’t need to do it again. 

“Come here,” Jeff’s voice is gentle, walking over and wrapping his arms around you, pulling you into his chest. Your fingers let go of the dress, the coat hanger landing on the floor beside you before you wrap your arms around him, clinging onto him tightly. 

Neither of you say anything, you can’t think of a single thing to say anymore. When you finally pull away you notice the tears in his own eyes, watching as he sniffles quietly and looks away from you. “You looked really beautiful in that dress,” he finally mutters, leaning down and picking the fabric up off the ground, easily sliding it off the hanger. 

You grasp the fabric, quickly folding it up and placing it into the suitcase with the rest of your clothes, not able to bring yourself to say anything to him. You were too scared that the only thing that would come out of your mouth is a plea to rethink this whole thing. So you stayed quiet, through packing up the rest of your clothes and all the way to his front door. 

“I guess...uh, well, goodbye,” you stammer at the front door, your bags already in your car. 

Leaning down Jeff pulls you into another hug. “Talk to you later, Y/N.” 

Pulling back you look into his eyes for a moment. Not a goodbye. Quickly you turn around, walking to your car and leaving before another wave of tears could get through the exterior you were holding up. 

“So, how’s Matt?” Ally asks with a playful smile, sitting across from you at the table at the taproom. 

Rolling your eyes you set your glass of beer back onto the table. “He’s...fine. Asked me out again yesterday.” Matt was your coworker, who in the most pure and childlike sense had a crush on you since you got the job a few months prior. He was always stopping by your office to say hi, bringing you coffee whenever he went to get himself one, complimenting your outfits. He was the first person to comment on the work you had been doing. And you liked him too. He was a great guy. A good friend. 

“Why don’t you just go out with him?” Ally inquires, picking up a zucchini fry from the order you two were sharing. 

Shrugging you taking another drink of your beer. “I’m not really interested.”

“It’s been almost a year since things ended with Jeff,” Ally says gently. “You haven’t gone out with anyone else. I know you miss him, but you can’t let him stop you from moving on with your life. It doesn’t even have to be Matt if you don’t want to complicate things at work. But someone.”

Nodding you finish off your beer, leaning back in your chair. “I know,” you mutter, not wanting to admit that she was right. 

The conversation is quickly redirected and you get another beer, feeling the weight of the conversation beginning to be lifted. Halfway through a conversation about a bad date Ally had just gone on a few days prior your eyes land on the front door. Your eyes get stuck on Jeff as he walks through the door, holding hands with a beautiful girl. You feel your heart racing, your chest feeling heavy, detached from your body as you watch the scenario unfolding before you like it couldn’t possibly be real. 

“Y/N?” Ally asks, but her voice sounds muffled, like you weren’t sitting across the table from her anymore. 

“Jeff’s here,” you manage to reply just as he looks in your direction, your eyes locking with his. You wanted to look away, pretend you hadn’t been staring. But you can’t. 

“What the fuck?” Ally exclaims in shock, because of all the places in the city, of all the days. Of course you two happened to be there now. Suddenly you push your chair back, stumbling to your feet. “Y/N? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” you blurt out, already on your way to the bathroom as your vision becomes blurry with tears. You never would have expected this. You never would have anticipated being so upset seeing him with another person. 

You manage to get inside the bathroom before a couple tears escape your eyes, slipping down onto your cheeks before you can wipe them away. 

Ally stands up from the table, on her way to the bathroom after you, intercepting Jeff on the way. “What are you doing?” Ally asks him, standing in the hallway to the bathroom, blocking him from proceeding. 

“Is she okay?” 

“She was,” Ally says, voice filled with vitriol. “Until you showed up.”

“Ally, I-,” Jeff begins, looking helplessly towards the bathroom door. “Can you just go see if she wants to talk to me?”

Ally crosses her arms over her chest, staring up at Jeff for a moment before letting out a heavy sigh and turning towards the bathroom. 

A few minutes later you walk back out of the bathroom, immediately giving in as soon as Ally mentioned Jeff wanting to talk. “Hi,” you mutter, walking over to him, leaving a few feet between you and him.

“Hey,” he replies quietly. “How, uh, how are you?”

Shrugging you stare at the wall behind him, too scared to make eye contact with him. You knew he would be able to see right through you. “I’m good.”

“Good,” Jeff mutters. 

You nod, feeling your eyes glaze over with tears. “She’s really pretty,” you whisper. 

“Y/N,” Jeff mumbles, voice cracking. “It’s not,” he begins, struggling to find his words as he looks out towards the restaurant. “It’s not what it looks like.”

“Don’t defend yourself for being on date. We haven’t been together in almost a year.”

“She’s not you,” Jeff suddenly blurts out. “I would rather be with you than her.”

You turn your eyes to him now, wide and full of surprise. Shaking your head you shuffle away from him. “Don’t do that to me. I can’t handle that Jeff, I’m still trying so hard to get over you. You can’t just say that.”

“I mean it, Y/N, I-” Jeff begins, not being able to finish his sentence before you’re hurrying past him back towards your table. 

“I’ll get the bill, meet me outside, okay?” Ally says as soon as you’re back at the table, as soon as she sees how shaken you are by the conversation you had with Jeff. 

“So you’re sure you’re okay?” Ally asks later that night, on her way out the front door of your apartment. 

“I’m fine, Ally,” you assure her with a quiet laugh. “I saw my ex, that’s all.”

“Okay,” Ally replies apprehensively, opening your door and heading out. 

As soon as she’s gone you take a deep breath, turning around and looking at your apartment as if you couldn’t figure out what you should do now. Seeing him, just once, had left you totally and completely flustered. Walking through your apartment you tidy a few things up, not knowing what else to do with the rest of your evening, just knowing you needed to keep busy to keep your attention off of what Jeff had said. He still had feelings for you. Sure, you still loved him. But you hadn’t imagined he was holding on the way you still were. And then there was that girl that he was with. She was so beautiful, and the way that they were holding hands. They seemed comfortable with each other. It definitely wasn’t a first date. 

Just as you were getting caught up in your thoughts you hear your phone vibrating on the kitchen counter. Walking over you look at the caller ID, the intercom system for your apartment building, someone wanting to be let in. You weren’t expecting guests and if Ally were coming back for something she would have texted you first. “Hello?”

“Hey, can you let me in?...it’s-.”

“Jeff,” you finish for him. “What? Why? I, uh, yeah...just, um, give me a minute,” you stammer, pressing and holding the number ‘9’ on your keypad to unlock the front door. 

You hear the front door open before the call cuts off, a knock on your apartment door a couple minutes later. “Hello,” you say to Jeff after pulling open the front door.

“Hi,” Jeff says, voice gentle as he looks down at you with a soft gaze. 

“Do you, uh, want to come in?”

“Sure,” Jeff says, stepping inside as you open the door wider. “Sorry for just showing up like this.”

“What do you want?” Your words come across a little harsh. But you weren’t actually upset. Not that he was there, anyway. 

“To talk about what I said to you earlier.”

“It’s okay, Jeff. We all say things we don’t really mean sometimes. I won’t hold it to you, we can pretend it didn’t happen.”

Jeff stares at you in silence for a few seconds, shaking his head. “What are you talking about? I do mean it, Y/N. God...I, I still love you, I never stopped. I just thought this was what you wanted. I gave you space, I thought that’s what you were asking for. But then you never reached out and I thought...I thought you moved on. But tonight, you seemed upset. And if it’s not about me, I’m sorry for overstepping. You can tell me to leave. Or, I guess I shouldn’t put that on you to tell me to leave. I’ll just, um, I’ll go.”

As Jeff turns around to walk back out the door you reach over, grabbing his hand and tugging him back. “Don’t go.”

Jeff turns back around, not dropping his hand from yours. 

“I still love you too,” you admit to Jeff, your voice quiet and nervous. He had already said it to you, had already admitted that he still loved you. But saying it back. Admitting it after almost a full year of being apart, it felt so vulnerable. “I’m sorry for ruining your date tonight, I didn’t think it would...I didn’t think I would get upset seeing you with someone else like that. I didn’t think it would...hurt so much.”

Jeff leans down, pulling you into a tight hug. “You have nothing to apologize for. You had no way of knowing I would be there. And you didn’t ruin anything, you couldn’t ruin anything. It kills me to know that I did anything to hurt you, I’m so sorry, I-”

Jeff quits talking when he realizes your shoulders are shaking, silent sobs wracking through your body. “Hey, it’s okay,” Jeff whispers, rubbing his hand along your back. “Deep breath, you’re okay. Come on, let’s go sit down.”

Jeff leads you through your own apartment to the couch, sitting down in the corner and pulling you down beside him, his arm wrapping around your waist. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, wiping away your tears. “I shouldn’t be this upset.”

“Don’t apologize, just talk to me.”

“I miss you, Jeff,” you whisper. “I don’t...I don’t think I’ve gone a day without thinking about you. I’ve tried, I really have. But I can’t stop thinking that it was a mistake.”

“Taking a break?”

“Breaking up,” you whisper, correcting his words. He was right in that is was only supposed to be a break in the beginning, but it had been almost a year. It stopped being just a break months ago. 

Jeff is quiet for a minute, reaching over and taking your hand off your lap, folding his hand into yours. “Do you want to reconsider it?”

“What?” you ask, looking up at him. “What do you mean?”

“If it was a mistake then maybe we should think about how to fix it.”

“Jeff, this is serious. You’re...you’re seeing someone now and I’m sure you’ve moved on and I can’t just pull you back into this because I started crying, and-.”

“I want this,” Jeff interrupts. “Everyday I’ve wanted to be back with you. And the girl I was on a date with, it was our third date. I’m not seeing anyone. And I love you, Y/N. I’m still so in love with you. There’s nobody else that I want to be with as much as i want to be with you.”

“Jeff,” you whisper, looking into his eyes, speechlessly. 

“So, what do you say? Will you go on a date with me? Can we try this again?”

Smiling gently you lean up, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. “Yes, Jeff, of course I will.”

#jeff skinner #jeff skinner imagine #jeff skinner fic #jeff skinner one shot #jeff sinner fanfic #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fic #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #nhl one shot #hockey fic #hockey fanfic #hockey one shot #Hockey Fanfiction

[yourfavewriteress]

red as a tomato | jack eichel

Teaser: “Since when was I not your boyfriend?”

“So, what brings you to this boring event?” I heard from behind me. I turned to see a man take the spot next to me at the bar. 

“Me?” I asked, noticing that no one was even remotely paying attention to him.

“Yeah, you,” He smiled, leaning closer. 

“Thank you,” I smiled at the bartender as he placed my drink in front of me. He looked at the man next to me, chuckling slightly and shaking his head. 

“Good luck,” he mouthed to me.

“I’m Aaron,” The man held his hand out.

“Y/N, nice to meet you.” I shook his hand politely.

“So, what brings you here tonight?”

“I’m actually here with my boyfriend,” I said. Even though Jack and I were still getting to know each other and weren’t technically together yet, I already knew where this conversation was going and I didn’t want to be disrespectful to Jack, seeing as he’s the one who brought me here to support him.

“Boyfriend, huh?” He raised his eyebrows. “I can’t say that I believe you.”

“Why is that?”

“Because no man in his right mind would let you get your own drink. I know I wouldn’t.”

“Well, I was given two legs for a reason,” I responded. “I can get my own drinks.”

“I like that,” He smiled, moving closer.

“I do actually have a boyfriend, though,” I said. I wasn’t lying, per se. Jack and I have been spending a lot of time together for the past 3 months and although the label wasn’t clear, he did bring me as his plus-one and as far as I could tell, all the plus-ones of the players were girlfriends, fiances, or wives.

“What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?”

I turned around, searching the hall for the familiar set of blonde curls that I came in with. When I didn’t see him, I turned back to Aaron. “He’s around here somewhere.”

“That’s cool. What are your plans for after this?” He asked.

“Probably going to be with my boyfriend,” I responded, slightly leaning away from him.

“Oh, come on, you’re gonna do me like that?” He asked, smiling. “I could show you a good time.”

“I ha-” Before I could finish, I felt a hand graze across my back. I turned to see Jack as he moved between Aaron and I and completely blocked him from my view.

“Hey,” He looked down at me.

“Hi,” I smiled up at him, blushing at the fact that he almost caught me calling him my “boyfriend.”

“It was nice talking to you, Y/N,” Aaron said, leaning over the bar so that I could see him past Jack.

“Oh, were you guys talking? My bad, I didn’t notice.” Jack said, moving to my other side so that I was now between them. “Go on.”

“It was nice to meet you, Aaron.” I smiled politely.

“Yeah, later,” His eyes moved between me and Jack, who now had his arm on the back of my chair and was giving Aaron a look that basically said, “I dare you to talk to her.”

Aaron stood up, disappearing quickly.

“Everything good?” Jack asked me.

I nodded, looking down at my drink. I have never once thought about the fact that I was literally here at Jack’s event, which meant that he was easing me into his hockey lifestyle. Which meant that maybe things were a little more serious than I had expected. 

“I saw you look around so I figured you wanted a way out,” I heard him say.

“Yeah, thanks,” I blushed. And then it hit me. I have no idea who that guy is or what he was doing here. For all I know, he could be a reporter and I could have just given him a false exclusive that Jack Eichel, the captain of the NHL’s Buffalo Sabres has a girlfriend. What if Jack never asks me to be his girlfriend? Then, not only did I spread false information, but I also just embarrassed the hell out of myself. 

“Earth to Y/N,” Jack said, lightly nudging my leg with his. “What’s up?”

“Nothing, I just might’ve done something that I didn’t think about first,” I admitted, feeling my face get hot immediately.

“Here?”

“Yeah,” I looked back down at my drink.

“Okay,” Jack trailed off. “What did you do?” 

“I might’ve to-”

“-Hey, guys, we’re about to take some pictures if you want to join,” Jeff said, patting Jack’s shoulder.

“Nah, we already took some. I’m actually gonna show her the patio, though.” Jack said, standing up. Jeff nodded and walked away.

“Wait, what?” I asked.

“Come on,” Jack said, holding his hand out to me. I grabbed my drink in one hand and his in the other, allowing him to lead me out of the hall. He brought me outside onto a patio that was brightly lit but secluded from the rest of the event. It became silent as he closed the door behind us.

“Are we supposed to be out here?” I asked, looking around.

“Yeah, I come out here all the time when I need a break from the white-collars,” He said, laughing. “You were saying you did something?”

“Oh, yeah, uhm,” I stuttered. “It’s not a big deal, I don’t think. Or, maybe it could be, I don’t know. I’m still trying to understand this world.”

“Okay…” He trailed off. He was looking down at me, obviously, because he’s so freaking tall, and began to smile. “You’re blushing so hard right now.”

“I know, this is so embarrassing,” I mumbled, looking down and covering my face.

“Hey,” He said, pulling my arms down. “It’s okay, just tell me.”

“I might have told that guy at the bar you were my boyfriend?” I whispered. “I mean, I didn’t say you, but I said I was here with my boyfriend so that he would stop bothering me. And, then you came so I think he might’ve connected the dots. But, I only said that so that he would leave me alone, I know we haven’t really gotten that far, so I realized that I probably shouldn’t have said it because I had no idea who he was. For all I know, he could’ve been a reporter and now he’s gonna spread the rumor that you have a girlfriend and people are gonna keep bothering you abo-”

I was cut off by Jack grabbing my face in his hands, leaning down and placing his lips on mine. 

“What was that for?” I asked once he pulled away.

“Since when was I not your boyfriend?” I froze, searching his face. He smiled at me.

“Uhm, we never really had that conversation so I didn’t know what to think,” I mumbled.

“I thought it was obvious,” He laughed. “But, we can have it now.”

“At your event?”

“Yeah, it’s a question and an answer. Will you pleasee be my girlfriend?”.

“Are you serious?” I blushed, making him nod. “Uh, yes, of course, then.” 

“There, so if he spreads it, it won’t be a lie. Even though I thought we were together starting three weeks ago,” He said.

“Well, you didn’t say anything,” I responded.

“That’s my bad,” He kissed my forehead lightly. “But clearly you knew to go around spreading it to strangers.”

“Shut up,” I responded as he wrapped his arms around my shoulder, pulling me back to the event. “So, I’ve been telling people like your teammates that we’re not together.”

“Yeah, Jeff told me.” I look up at him to see him smiling. “I have to update him now.”

“What? Don’t do that, that’s so awkward,” I said, noticing he was pulling me back to Jeff and the rest of the team. “At least wait until I’m not around.”

“No, thanks,” He said, laughing. 

“You’re such a child.”

“Hey, Jeff,” Jack said. “This is officially my girlfriend now. I just asked her.”

Jeff smiled at me as I blushed deeply. “Her face is as red as a tomato. You’re evil, Jack.”

#nhl imagines #nhl #nhl imagine #hockey #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #jack eichel #jack eichel imagine #jack eichel imagines #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #hockey fanfiction #hockey fanfic #buffalo sabres #jeff skinner #nhl writing #buffalo sabres imagines #buffalo sabres imagine #nhl one shot #nhl one-shots #nhl blurb #hockey blurb #mat barzal #travis konecny #imagine #fanfiction #yourfavewriteress

[alltherecs]

Jeff Skinner/Jordan Staal | 5,185 words | Complete | Mature | AO3 | 🔒

#jeff/jordan #j2 #canes #ch #jeff skinner #jordan staal #archive of our own #link #luxover #the upside of accident #ao3 #hockey rpf #hockey recs #fanfic recs #fic recs #accidental dating

[laurenairay]

6) “I just wanted to see how you’d react.” with Jeff Skinner please.

6 – “I just wanted to see how you’d react.” – Jeff Skinner

652 words.

Thank you for choosing Jeff for this one! I hope you like it!

*

“Not that I don’t enjoy shopping for baby clothes for your cousin…but normally you prefer to do that kind of shopping by yourself?”

“That’s because I usually don’t want you to see how broody I am,” you said dryly, making Jeff laugh, “But this time…I just wanted to see how you’d react.”

“See how I’d react? What do you mean?” he asked, confused.

“How you’d react to the teeny tiny baby socks. How your face lit up when you looked through the super cute onesies. How your smile grew when you felt how soft the baby blankets are,” you explained.

Jeff smiled again at the memory, before that smile slowly dropped to him just chewing his bottom lip in thought.

“Why?” he eventually asked.

You took a slow deep breath in as your heart started to bear just that little bit faster.

“Because we’re going to have a little baby of our own in about 7 months,” you said softly.

It was all you could do to keep your eyes on his face as his lips parted in shock, breathing shaky as your waited for him to say something, anything, and it was only when his shocked expression spread into the biggest grin you’d ever seen that your nerves settled.

“We’re going to have a baby? I’m going to be a dad?” he choked, that wide smile not shifting.

“Yeah, Jeff, you’re going to be a dad. We’re going to be parents,” you giggled.

Tears filled his eyes, only making tears spring to your eyes too, and Jeff wasted no time in wrapping his arms around you, burying his face into your neck. You just laughed, holding him back just as tightly, a happy giddy feeling filling your entire body. It had been one thing to go to your doctor earlier in the week due to feeling lethargic and nauseous, only to be told that you were 9 weeks pregnant, but for Jeff to be this happy about it? Bliss. Utter bliss.

“How far along are you? When did you find out?” Jeff asked, lifting his head to look at you properly again.

“Nearly 10 weeks now. I went to see my doctor earlier in the week because I was feeling funny and this was the result of the blood tests,” you explained.

“Why didn’t you tell me you weren’t feeling well?” he frowned.

Bless his heart.

“You were on your roadtrip up until two days ago, remember? Besides, if I felt awful then I would’ve told you but I didn’t think it was anything serious. Turns out I was wrong,” you mused.

“I’m just glad you’re okay,” Jeff murmured, one hand rising to cup your face, “And yeah, having a baby is serious, but you’ve got me by your side all the way, okay? You have no idea how happy I am.”

Just hearing those words of comfort, of reassurance, fizzled away the last of your nerves, making you smile softly. This was everything you’d been hoping to hear since you found out the news, and hearing it from your boyfriend’s lips only made you even more excited to go on this journey with him.

“If you’re as happy as I am, then I think this is going to be one incredibly lucky baby,” you said, choking out a laugh as a couple of tears spilled down your cheeks.

Jeff just grinned, looking as giddy as you felt, and it was all you could do to take your turn in burying your face in his neck, Jeff just pressing gentle kisses wherever he could reach.

“We’re going to be the best parents ever. I can already feel it,” Jeff murmured, kissing the side of your head.

You just laughed, pressing a kiss of your own to his neck. If this was a sign of how things were going to go from here, then you knew things were going to be okay.

#my writing #jeff skinner blurb #prompt list blurbs #jeff skinner x reader #jeff skinner imagine #jeff skinner fic #jeff skinner fanfic #hockey blurb #nhl blurb

[werenskheeyyy]

Smiley - Jeff Skinner (#20)

Jeff Skinner is the cutest human I ever laid my eyes on!!  He hands down as one of the best smiles I’ve ever seen!  Also I absolutely loved the prompt that I was sent with this!!! So so adorable!  Let me know what you think!  Much love pals! <3 (Also 20 imagines already????? What the heck????? Thanks for all of the love and support!!!!!!)

Word count: 1039

Warnings: fluff, fluff, fluff

Request: “So fam what I was thinking was one with Jeff skinner mmkay. Maybe like you're at one of his games and he gets distracted by you're beauty and falls or does something really embarrassing. Ends in him asking u out. Please and thank you” @lemontreescreed

********

“I thought we were staying in tonight!” you whined from your spot on the couch.  It was Friday night which meant wine and movies with your best friend but she had just gotten home from work and clearly had other plans that involved leaving your warm cocoon.

“They’re free tickets! Come on, it’ll be fun!” she coaxed.  She had walked in the door and presented you with two tickets to the Carolina Hurricanes game tonight.  They were playing the Toronto Maple Leafs so there was no question it would be a good game, you just weren’t expecting to be going out tonight.

“Fine, fine! I’ll go!” you sighed, throwing your hands up in the air.

“Yaaayyy!” Y/F/N exclaimed.  “Puck drop’s at 7 so we should probably leave in about 45 minutes!”

You ran to the bathroom to make yourself look a little more presentable.  You washed off the face mask you had put on, drying your face then applying some concealer, mascara, eyebrow powder and a lip balm.  You shook your hair out of it’s messy bun, running your fingers through it and liking how it looked wavy.  You stood in front of your closet, contemplating what to wear.  You ended up throwing on some dark wash jeans, a white tank top, a black oversized cardigan, black ankle boots and a big beige blanket scarf to keep you warm.  

“Y/N! Time to goooo!” your friend sang from the living room.  You grabbed your purse and you both were on your way.

********

You entered the PNC Arena, grabbing a couple drinks and making your way to your seats.  You were shocked at how good the seats were – three rows up from ice level and in the corner.  You had just settled into your seats when both teams made their way onto the ice to warm up.  Immediately, your eyes were drawn to #53 on the Hurricanes.  He had the most infectious smile and just seemed to be the happiest guy on the ice.  He looked up from his puck handling, scanning the arena when your eyes locked together.  You looked away, your cheeks turning a bright shade of pink.

“Oohhh someone’s got a crush!” Y/F/N teased, patting your thigh.

“I do not!” you protested, focusing on the other players on the ice.  “Skinner” you mumbled to yourself as the cute brunette player skated by you, tapping his stick on the glass and making you jump slightly.

He stood in front of you, waiting for his turn in the drill.  He turned around and gave you another spectacular smile, but was interrupted when one of his teammates glanced at you then shoved Jeff into the boards.  You giggled as he gave you a sheepish grin and saw that he was now the one that was blushing.

“He definitely likes you!” your friend whispered.

“I doubt it!” you laughed, “he could have been looking at anyone.”

“Yea right!  That blush was definitely because of the hot girl in front of him, not the little kids begging for a puck.” She scoffed.  You smiled to yourself and focused on the Zamboni that had now come out to clean the ice.

********

During the entire first and second period, you tried to pay attention to the the other players but your vision gravitated towards Skinner, whether he was on the ice or on the bench.  He had a breakaway, scoring a goal and you found yourself cheering slightly louder than usual.  Y/F/N looked at you with a raised eyebrow and you sank back down in your seat.

Partway through the third period, you and Jeff made eye contact as he went to squirt some water into his mouth.  Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t paying attention and the bottle was upside down, the cap flying off when he squeezed it.  You saw some of his teammates give him some gentle shoves, looking over at you then almost certainly chirping Jeff.  He was blushing so hard that he matched his jersey, making you laugh.

Just as the game finished, which the Hurricanes won, Jeff skated over to where you were sitting, motioning for you to stay where you were.  “Wait there!” he mouthed before making his way to the dressing room.  

“I knew it!” your friend exclaimed “I knew he liked you!”

A smile grew across your face, “we still don’t know if he does!”

“Oh shut up!” she cackled, “I’m gunna go wait in the car!”

After your friend left, you played on your phone for ten or fifteen minutes waiting for the handsome hockey player to arrive.  You heard footsteps then looked over to see a tall man standing in front of you.  “Hi, I’m Jeff!” he introduced himself, sitting down in the empty seat next to you.

“Y/N” you said, studying the features on his face.

“I’m sorry to make you wait for so long!  Coach just kept talking and talking” he said nervously.

“It’s totally ok!” you smiled, “you played a great game by the way!”

“Thank you! I may have had some motivation to play a little better tonight” he leaned forward, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

“Oh yea? What was that?”

“I, uh, didn’t want the pretty girl to see me play a bad game.” He mumbled.

“Well, you didn’t play a bad game at all, but I did see when your water bottle exploded” you laughed.

“Oohhh did you?” he groaned. “That’s gunna be on the highlights for weeks.”

You rubbed his arm gently, “well I thought it was cute!”

“Well since you think I’m so cute,” he smirked, “would you want to go out for dinner with me sometime?”

“I’d like that!” you grinned as you exchanged phones, adding each other’s numbers.  “I should get going, my friend’s waiting in the car.”

“Oh yea of course, let me walk you out!”  Jeff stood up, and placed a hand on your lower back as made your way to the parking lot.

“I look forward to our date Y/N” he said, giving you a warm hug.

“I do too Smiley” you giggled as you closed the car door behind you, waving goodbye, butterflies already building in the pit of your stomach for your dinner date.

#jeff skinner #jeff skinner imagines #carolina hurricanes #carolina hurricanes imagines #nhl #nhl imagines #nhl drabbles #nhl fanfic #nhl fanfiction #hockey #hockey imagines #hockey fanfiction #hockey fanfic #hockey drabbles #werenskheeyyy

[trashforhockeyguys]

Days Gone Quiet- Jeff Skinner

A/N: somewhat unplanned. Somewhat angsty. Also 4.5K words, wow. Mentions of injuries and a trip to the hospital. So, that’s that. Listen to Days Gone Quiet by Louis Capaldi if you’d like. 

It wasn’t the tossing and turning that broke down your resolve. It wasn’t the nightmares that kept you awake. Or even the silence that filled the house you’d once shared with him. It was the way that the bed was so cold without him next to you. The way that the closet was half empty now, other than the few things he’d left behind. The ring that you’d hidden in the back of your drawer. The thunderstorm added to this situation, it was the reason you called him.

 You waited, knees pulled up to your chest, in the center of the bed. Even though he was half asleep, he almost didn’t hesitate before he said he’d come. So, all you could do was wait to see his headlights in your driveway. Or hear his footsteps coming up the porch.

 It took twenty minutes for him to show up. The knock on the door was soft, but you knew. For a second you forgot that he wouldn’t use the key that you knew he still had. He was going to respect your privacy, even if you were the one who called.

“Hey,” Your voice sounded breathless.

 “Hey.”

 You stepped aside and let him into the house. It seemed strange, the whole idea of having to invite him into the house that he’d bought. The house that the both of you had planned on living in for the better part of the rest of your life.

 A lot has changed in three months.

 The thunder boomed again, causing you to jump. You felt his hand on your back in an attempt to steady you. You wanted to melt into him again. Just the feeling of his touch was enough. The knowledge that he was really here, right behind you, was enough for you.

 “You okay?” He asked, voice still laced with the remnants of sleep.

 “Yeah um- just the thunder,” You flinched again as another clap of thunder rumbled through the night.

 He reached for your hand and pulled you towards the kitchen, only stopping to pull out a barstool and motion for you to sit. He flicked on the lights, only to realize they wouldn’t turn on. He looked back at you, obviously wanting answers.

 “Storm knocked out the power right before I called you. That’s why the candles are everywhere,” You admitted.

 “And here I thought you were having one of those candle nights,” He almost laughed, almost, “The tea still in the same drawer?”

 You nodded. Part of you wondered how long it would take for him to realize you were in his old hoodie. It was one of the few things he’d left behind because he knew how much you loved it. He’d told you that when he left it on the bed that night.

 Sometimes when you were missing him enough, you’d take out the old bottle of cologne that was still hiding in the back of one of his drawers, and spray just enough for it to smell like him. You’d never tell him that, but if he got close enough to you, he’d probably be able to smell it.

 You watched as he moved around the kitchen like he’d never left. You hadn’t changed a damn thing in the house. Everything stayed the way it was, because this was still the house of your dreams, but the man of your dreams wasn’t in it. It wasn’t complete anymore.

 “Here,” he put your mug in front of you. You hadn’t even heard the kettle, “You still take your tea the same way, right?”

 “Um, yeah,” You were stunned honestly. Part of you hadn’t expected him to remember it.

 But he’d always remembered all of your takeout orders, and Starbucks. He knew your favorite brands of chocolate, and what your favorite movies were for different moods. He knew which blanket you always wanted, and was always okay with the fact that you didn’t share, so he’d always grab one for himself.

 He was always too good for you. He took care of you, he never questioned any of it. Even after a tough game, or a long practice, he was there for you.

 “I’m sorry,” You choked out, “I shouldn’t have called you. I can’t keep doing this.”

 “Y/N-”

 “No, we broke up. We called it off,” You rushed to say, “I can’t keep calling you every time I need something. Or every time I’m lonely. This is unfair to you. I can’t.”

 He reached for your hand. In the candlelight, you could see the hurt in his eyes. The initial fight was bad, not bad enough to do the two of you in, that happened after the fights that followed. You couldn’t even remember what they were about anymore. The longer you thought about it, the less it made sense to you.

 “I’ll always come, no matter what.”

 That almost broke your heart. You wondered if he could hear it crack over the sound of the thunder. The tears came before you could stop them, and next thing you knew, you were crying in your kitchen with his arms wrapped around you.

 If you closed your eyes for a second, you might’ve thought that you were three years younger, and it was one of the first nights in this house. A storm came up that night too, bad enough to knock out the power. You’d always been terrified in storms, and that night you’d been spooked by the thunder so bad that you’d dropped your favorite mug. And just like tonight, he’d held you as you cried for almost no reason at all.

 “I’m sorry.”

 “I know you are, I am too,” he said so softly you almost didn’t hear.

You went another four months without seeing him after that night. You moved from the house you shared, you’d packed the rest of the things he’d left behind into a box and shoved it into the back of your new closet. No matter how hard you tried, you still couldn’t get rid of the last things you had left from your relationship. Just like his number was still in your phone, waiting for another moment of weakness.

You wouldn’t crack though, you were going to be stronger than you’d previously been. The next time you saw him was different, he didn’t even know you were there. You’d gotten tickets to one of his games, something you didn’t think you’d do again.

But nonetheless, you found yourself sitting in the arena, watching as he played better than you’d seen in a long time. He played better without you in his life, that’s all you could think. The game seemed to come easier to him now, he didn’t seem to think about it as he flew down the ice. The way he worked alongside his teammates was something you hadn’t seen in years. He was happy like this. 

You smiled sadly when everyone started to chant his name after a goal. He was loved here. You were happy for him, even if you did feel a twinge of pain in your chest because you wouldn’t be there to experience this with him.  You cheered with everyone else, maybe even louder, but you still hurt. 

You forced your eyes shut when the game ended. Just being somewhere in the same room with him had been enough, but now you had to go home and keep trying to move on. You slipped out of the arena before they announced the stars. You just needed air.

Another month went by. You started trying to go out on a date here and there. You tried to focus on work and family. You tried to redecorate your new apartment and make it something that resembled a home. You wanted to make you life feel like yours again. You tried to ignore the ache and the way you constantly felt like something, or rather someone, was missing. 

“So, tell me about yourself,” The guy in front of you said slowly. 

You were focused on the TV across the room, the hockey game was in full swing. He wasn’t playing like himself. You could almost feel the panic that must’ve been running through his body. But he had his team to back him up, they’d keep him safe.

“Are you a hockey fan?” The guy asked, following your eyes to the TV. 

“Hm?” You tore your eyes away and looked back at him. 

What was his name? James? John? Something ridiculous that you’d never actually remember anyway? You knew he was trying, your blind date was making an effort to get to know you. He didn’t know that this was the last thing you wanted to do. That this was the last place you wanted to be. 

In all reality, you wanted to be at that game. You wanted to be able to see it all unfold before you. Almost like that would make everything better, like it would ensure that they’d win and nothing would go wrong. As if you had the power to change any of it. 

“Um, sorry,” You couldn’t help but feel your heart sink when the channel changed, “No, not a big fan. I just um, I used to date a guy that loved it. I guess it rubbed off on me.”

You tried to ignore the feeling in your gut. You felt like you were betraying Jeff by just calling him some guy. He was more than just some guy, he always would be. He was the love of your life, he was the man you’d planned on marrying. He’d never just be some guy to you, no matter how much time passed. But for now, it was easier to just pretend. 

“Sorry, bringing up and ex isn’t exactly something you’re supposed to do on a date,” You laughed nervously, “I’m honestly out of practice.”

“If it makes you feel any better, my ex girlfriend loved hockey too,” He shrugged, “We can figure out this dating thing together, if you’d like?”

You found it easier to talk to him after that. You’d been wrong, his name was Jason, he was being groomed to take over the family business, which he seemed to be alright with. You had similar interests, which surprised you. Part of you hadn’t expected to connect with another human in the way that you had with Jeff. But despite not knowing him, you felt oddly comfortable around Jason.

You laughed with him and had fun. You were okay with being out for the first time since the breakup with Jeff. You were okay with not sitting across from him, not being at the game with him. You stopped worrying about him, just for a while, just while he was distracting you. 

He was in the middle of a story from his childhood when your phone started ringing. You declined the call, not knowing who it was, and slid it back under your leg. You motioned for him to continue with his story, genuinely interested in what he had to say. 

Five minutes later, your phone rang again, the same number flashes across your screen again. You sighed and tried to decide what to do. You didn’t want to walk away from him for a phone call that could be insignificant. 

“It’s okay, answer it.”

You gave him an apologetic look before standing up and walking outside so he couldn’t hear you, and you wouldn’t disturb anyone else.. You slid your finger across the screen to accept the call before saying a quick hello. No one answered you though, but you could hear chaotic noises in the background. 

“Hello?” You repeated. 

“Y/N Y/L/N?” You knew the voice on the other end of the line, but you couldn’t quite remember where you knew them from.

“Yes, this is she,” You replied. 

“Y/N/N,” They breathed a sigh of relief, “It’s Jack.”

You shook your head, “Jack? How do you even have my number? I changed it after-”

“After you and Jeff broke up, yes I know. But he gave the new one to me, just in case something happened.”

You could hear it in his voice. Something had gone wrong. Something wasn’t right. How long had you and Jason been taking? Had the game already ended? By the sounds in what you guessed were the locker room, it had to have ended, but how long ago? And why was Jack calling you? You of all people, why you?

“What happened?” You didn’t even know but you could feel your throat closing up.

“Where are you?” He was avoiding your question, but you could hear the panic in his voice. 

“A few blocks from the rink, I’m-” Your voice didn’t want to work, you didn’t want to tell him where you were, “I’m on a date.”

“Which restaurant?”

You told him, feeling thankful that he didn’t seem to pause for a second. But that only meant that whatever happened was bad. You should’ve asked them to change the TV back over, just so you could keep an eye on the game. But if you had, would you have allowed yourself to have a good night?

“I’ll be there in less than five minutes. Wait outside, please,” He seemed to beg you. 

“Jack, where are we going?” You finally found the strength to ask.

“You didn’t watch the game?”

“No, they changed the station and I-” You felt so guilty now, “What happened?”

“The hospital. I’m getting in my car now, go grab your things and wait.”

He hung up right after that. Your body felt numb. Jeff was hurt. That was the only reason Jack would’ve called, that’s the only reason he’d be taking you to the hospital. You wanted to google and see if you could find out more, but you could do nothing but wonder back into the restaurant, where Jason was waiting for you.

“Is everything okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

“I have to go,” You couldn’t explain as you tried to gather your coat and bag. 

“What’s wrong? What happened?”

��I’m sorry.”

“It’s that ex isn’t it? The one you’re still hung up on.”

“He’s hurt,” You forced out, “He- he needs me. I’m sorry.”

“I hope he realizes how lucky he is to have you,” He shook his head, “You seem like you’re an incredible person, Y/N, maybe we can just be friends. It seems neither one of us was ready for this. Go take care of him.”

“Thank you.”

You grabbed your bag and rushed back out. Your whole body was shaking, but it wasn’t from the cold. You couldn’t even feel the cold. But just the thought of Jeff being hurt, in ways that you didn’t even know yet, scared the shit out of you. The last time he’d gotten hurt you’d been there for him. You’d helped every step of the way, you’d known all of it. But you were in the dark this time. You didn’t even see it happen. 

You started to pace back and forth while waiting for Jack. Would he even tell you what happened? Why would he even take you with him, it’s not like either of you would be able to see Jeff if he had already been admitted. You’d just have to wait.

Jack’s car pulled up a few minutes later. You didn’t stop to register that it was now storming before climbing into his car. He didn’t wait for you to get settled or buckle up before he took back off down the road. You were afraid to ask him what happened. You were afraid to actually know. 

“How bad is it?” That was all you could force yourself to ask. 

“They took him by ambulance straight to the hospital. We all agreed after the game what I should call you.”

“We all? Who is we?”

“The team.”

“But I haven’t spoken to any of you since the breakup.”

“But he talks about you, all the time.”

“Is he going to be okay?”

He sighed, “He’s tough, but he’ll need you.”

You tried to calm your nerves. He would be okay, eventually. Whatever was wrong could be fixed. He would be okay. You tried to keep reminding yourself of that as the hospital came into view. He’d been here before, but he would be okay. 

Jack lead you into the waiting room and told the desk who you were here for. You couldn’t even think straight, you couldn't even hear what they told Jack. All you could do was just sit there and shake. Why did this feel so different from all of the other times? 

You weren’t sure how long you waited, or at what point you fell asleep on Jack’s shoulder. But you were being gently shaken awake. A nurse stood in front of you and Jack, waiting for one of you to do something. 

“You can go back and see him now,” Jack told you quietly, “Since you’re his fiance.” 

You gave Jack a questioning look. But he mouthed something that resembled go with it and helped you up. You followed the nurse back through the halls. Why did Jack lie for you? Would he even want to see you again? 

She stopped in front of a door, inside you assumed was Jeff. You forced air into your lungs. You hadn’t been prepared to see him like this, or see him period. 

“He’s likely still asleep, they gave him a sedative along with something for the pain,” She informed you, “Just avoid his leg. I’ll be at the nurse’s station should you need anything.”

You forced yourself to nod and step inside after she opened the door. You clutched onto the necklace you were wearing, which happened to be the one that he’d given you years ago. You would’ve laughed at the irony of it, had you not spotted jeff first. 

He was laying in his hospital bed, a bandaged leg peeking out from the blanket. Your heart broke. He wasn’t awake, just like she’d told you. But he looked awful. Jack never told you what happened earlier in the night, but looking at Jeff now, you assumed a fight was involved somehow. 

He had a few stitches above his eye, which you had a feeling hadn’t been there before tonight. You still didn’t know what happened, but you hurt just thinking about it. You didn’t like the idea of him being in pain, especially not like this. 

You pulled the chair up to the edge of his bed. You fought your tears, trying to keep them from falling. You wouldn’t cry now. You reached for his hand, just wanting to feel him and know that he was real. His hand was warm in yours, but he didn’t move. 

You brushed little curls off of his forehead, “Hey twirly bird. I don’t really know if you want me here, so now would be the time to tell me. But if you do want me here, with you, I need you to say something.”

All that broke the silence of the room was the heart monitor beeping next to the bed and the soft rumble of thunder in the distance, “I ditched my date when Jack called me.”

You smiled as tears burned your eyes, “I was almost having a good night. He was a nice guy, but neither of us were ready to be on a date. I would’ve spent the whole time watching your game had they not changed the station. But then Jack called and all I could think about was getting to you.”

You thought of that night a few months ago, when the storm hit and you’d called him. So much had changed. You barely jumped when the next clap of thunder rumbled through the city. You held tightly onto his hand, willing him to be okay. 

“You told me a few months ago that you’d always come, no matter what,” You whispered, “That goes both ways Jeff. I will always be here.”

You sat with him for nearly two hours before they came in and told you visiting hours were over, but that you could come back the next day and hopefully he’d be awake by then. You leaned down and kissed his forehead, whispering that you’d be there if he needed you, and then you walked out.

Jack offered to drive you home so that you didn’t have to get an uber. You couldn’t stop worrying about Jeff though, you’d been given the specifics of his injuries. He’d have to stay off his leg for a couple of weeks, and wouldn’t be able to return this season. He’d hate that when they told him. 

You were still asleep the next morning when your phone started ringing. You blindly reached for your phone and answered before really looking to see who it was. You were too tired to really even care who was calling, it was too early on a Sunday morning for it to be anyone important.

“Hello?”

“Y/N?”

You shot straight up. He’d been the last person you’d expected to call you, “Jeff? How are you?”

“I want you here,” He said softly, you could tell he was in pain but he was okay, “I want you here with me.”

You took a deep breath and flung the covers off of yourself, “You want me there?”

“I’ve always wanted you here. I just- Will you come?” 

“Always,” You replied, “I’ll always be there, no matter what Jeff. Give me twenty minutes.”

You got there in fifteen. The nurses didn’t question as you walked back to his room. This time, Jeff was sitting up, propped up by quite a few pillows, and watching TV. Seemingly happy for the moment. He smiled when he saw you, eyes lighting up for a moment. 

“Hey Twirly Bird.”

“I thought we agreed that you were going to stop calling me that.”

You shrugged and sat back down in the chair, “Times change. How are you feeling?”

“Still a little foggy, but I’m alright,” he winced as he adjusted himself in bed, “I’m out for the rest of the season though, plus I have a lot of physical therapy ahead of me.”

“I know, the doctor told me last night.”

“They told you? But I thought they could only tell family?”

“Well, you seemed to still have me listed as next of kin and your emergency contact, plus Jack lied while I was asleep in the waiting room and told them I was your fiance.”

“I’m sorry you had to leave your date.”

“How did you know about that?”

“Heard you last night, plus Jack came by this morning to make sure I knew you’d been here,” he shrugged, “Is he at least a good guy?”

“Jason? Yeah, he’s great” You saw Jeff’s face fall just a bit, “But I think he and I aren’t cut out for each other.”

“Oh.”

You shrugged, not knowing what else could be said. He was the one that called you here and you’d come, the ball was in his court now. It was his move. So you just had to wait. Both of you had changed since you’d been together. In just a matter of months, you’d grown up in a lot of ways. You’d figured out what you wanted from life. Maybe it would be enough this time, if you decided to try again. If he decided. 

“I’ve missed you.”

“I missed you too Jeff.”

“How’s your new place?” he questioned. 

“It’s nice, but I’ll be honest, it doesn’t feel like home. But it’s nice.”

“I know the feeling,” He laughed lightly, “I end up crashing with Jack a lot of times because I don’t want to go back to an empty apartment.”

“He’s a good friend,” You told him, “The first thing he did last night was call me. I’m pretty sure he did it the second he was able to.” 

“I’m glad he did. Otherwise...Well, I’m just glad you’re here Y/N.”

“Not the drugs talking though, right?”

He shook his head and reached for your hand, “I meant what I said, I want you here. I never stopped wanting you here.”

“Maybe we should have this conversation once you’re a little better,” You laughed.

“But will you stay?”

“I’m not going anywhere. You always come to comfort me during a thunderstorm,” You reminded him, “This is like your storm. I’ll be here until you don’t want me to stay.”

He flashed a dimpled smile, “I won’t ask you to leave.”

“Okay.”

So, you sat with him all day, and the next day, and stayed with him once he was released. You helped him when you could, and stayed even when you couldn’t. He didn’t lie to you though, he never asked you to leave. He just kept asking you to stay. So you stayed, you didn’t leave unless you needed to get clothes or groceries or go to work. 

When he was finally back on his feet, you started coming over less. You tried to distance yourself because you didn’t know what would come next. You two never had any sort of conversation. You were unclear on where you stood now that he was on the mend. 

So you packed up everything you’d left in the guest room. He was to the point where he could move and get around without anyone having to help him. He didn’t need you anymore. He wouldn’t want you here anymore. So you were fully prepared to leave and not come back. 

“Where are you going?” he asked once you reached the door. 

You were surprised you hadn’t heard the sound of his crutches on the hardwood floors, “Home, I guess.”

“But, I- why?”

“You don’t need me,” You shrugged, “I figured you’d want me to leave anyway. I’ve been here for almost two months.”

He hobbled a few more steps and stopped. You could see that he was deep in thought, but you couldn’t tell what he was thinking. But you could see that he was in pain from standing still and being on his feet for too long. You wanted to tell him to go sit down, but you couldn’t. 

“I’ve liked having you here though,” He finally said, not looking up at you.

“Jeff, I’ve liked being here, but that’s not a reason to stay,” You tried to explain, “We both have lives. We should try to get back to them. We can’t keep living in this little bubble.”

You forced your hand to turn the doorknob, “I’ll always be just a phone call away Jeff, I promise. But it’s time we get back to real life. There’s plenty of food in the fridge, and that tea that you liked is in the cabinet with the mugs.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered, watching you take a step towards the hall. 

“I know you are, Jeff. I am too. But I still have to go.”

#Jeff Skinner imagine #Jeff skinner imagines #nhl imagines #nhl imagine #nhl fanfiction #nhl fanfic #nhl oneshot #hockey imagine #hockey imagines #hockey fanfic #hockey fanfiction #hockey oneshot #nicolewritesthings

[froggiej]

OMG

Eric Staal being reunited with Jeff Skinner!!!

I'm so excited for more fanfic lol

#fanfic priorities #lol

[thundersstruck]

Borrowed and Blue -Jeff Skinner

A/N: oh look it’s not Auston be impressed. In light of my super fucking boredom and my past almost 4 months of being single, I’ve returned. This is gonna be a usual trope for fanfic but like who cares lol. Also it’s inspired by the song Lover by Taylor Swift as well as Best Years by 5 Seconds of Summer :,)

Masterlist I haven’t touched in a year

Requested: that would be crazy lol

Warnings: the usual, fluff, swearing, and bad plot

Word count: 1846

Gif Credit: @ciaozhan

Enjoy!!

(Y/N)’s POV

"It's bad enough I'm in this wedding, but now I have no date to go with me," I huff, sitting down on the couch next to all of my friends. "What do you mean you don't have a date?" Sam asks walking in with a bowl of grapes. "She's been single for awhile Sam, keep up here," Jack says, pausing the Tv. "The guy I was suppose to go with stood me up because he got a girlfriend so now I have no one. Do you know how pathetic it looks to be a bridesmaid in a wedding and not have a damn date?" I ask as they all look at me. "Were all guys so no, no we don't," Jack says popping a grape in his mouth. "I'll go with you," Jeff says looking at his phone. "Are you being serious?" I ask him. "Of course, you're my best friend who followed me all the way from North Carolina to Buffalo for no reason so it's the least I could do," he says looking up at me. "Plus there's free cake at weddings," Sam says. "There's that too, and boy do I love cake," Jeff says with a wink. "Okay Skinner, you can come with me," I say while standing up to head to my room. "The wedding is in two weeks and if you the three of you eat all of my food right now I'll kill you," I shout down the hall. "That's a promise not a threat don't eat all of her snacks," Jeff says looking at the boys seriously.

*Two Weeks later because yeah*

"Alright so I have to spend the whole day there, to get ready with the bride and everything so here's the address, please don't be late," I rush out to Jeff who's sitting on the couch of our shared house. He gets up and walks over to me where I'm standing by the door and places his hands on my shoulders. "I won't be late, I promise. I have to be there to see you walk down the aisle and see if you trip or not," he says with a wide smile causing me to shoot him a dirty look. "I'm kidding, I won't be late but you might be so go, I'll see you later," he says shoving me out the door towards the driveway.

I arrive at the venue with a few minutes to spare and walk in with coffee and my dress in hand. We spend the next few hours getting ready and taking pictures until we're told that we have to start the ceremony.

I nervously fiddle with the necklace that hangs on my neck, the one Jeff gave me for my birthday years ago, it was two small hands pinky swearing engraved on a little plate and the back of it said 'you're stuck with me forever-jeff'. "Hey, there you are," Jeff says snapping me out of my daze. "Oh hey! You aren't late!" I say with a smile, trying to hide my nervousness but I know he can see right through me. "Of course I'm not late, but you're nervous," he says grabbing my hand pulling me way from the crowd of people. "What's wrong?" He asks looking into my eyes while holding my hands. "I don't know I'm just nervous, I've practiced this a thousand times," I say while looking up at him. Something about this time of me looking at him feels different than the other times, then it clicks. I'm walking down the aisle in front of Jeff, thinking about me walking to him at the end of it, oh my gosh I'm in love with him. "Just take a deep breath, at least it isn't your wedding," he chuckles. "Oh yes that made me feel so much better, thank you Jeffrey," I say while rolling my eyes. "I'm just trying to make you laugh," he whispers while looking down at his shoes, something he only does when he's nervous. "Hey," I say while picking his head up. "Thank you, I'll see you after the ceremony." I say kissing his cheek before walking away.

My head swirls with so many thoughts as I walk down the aisle in front of everyone. The ceremony goes great and the bride and groom kiss happily while I smile over at Jeff who claps excitedly, despite the fact that he doesn’t even know these people.

*jump to the reception bc all you do in the time between is take pictures and wait for the party lol*

I walk into the room as the Dj plays loud music that the bride picked and see Jeff standing with a wide smile on his face, his dimples fully on display. I head to the table that we’re both seated at, with my bouquet in hand. “Might I just say you look beautiful,” Jeff says taking my hand and kissing it as I blush madly. “Why thank you, I do have to say that this shade of purple looks good on me,” I say, setting the flowers down on the table as more people fill into the room. “It really does, the style looks good on you too,” he says pulling my chair out for me. “Your sisters told you to say that didn’t they?” I ask while looking up at him from my seat. “Most definitely,” he chuckles while sitting next to me. My head is racing with thoughts of how to tell him that after years of knowing him I’ve finally realized that I’m in love with him but I try to focus on what’s happening in front of me instead of what’s in my head. “I bet you can’t wait to plan one of these for yourself,” He says putting his hand on my leg. “I mean yeah, that’s ever girl’s dream, but who knows when that’ll happen for me,” I say looking down at my nails. “Why do you say that?” He whispers as he comes close so the conversation is between just the two of us. “Jeff, I’ve been through countless relationships, my heart’s been borrowed and I’ve been blue, you’ve seen me hung up over all these different guys and just get my heart destroyed. I’m just not sure if I’ll be able to take another heartbreak to find the right one.” I say with a sigh. “Sorry weddings make me depressed and lonely and think about too many things,” I say looking up at him while teary eyed. He places my hand on my cheek and smiles softly while stroking his thumb on my face. “I promise you’ll find the one soon,” he says to me as the bride and groom take the dance floor and everyone becomes quite.

The DJ starts to play the song they chose for their first dance, Lover by Taylor Swift, and they start to sway on the floor. I stare at the couple and can feel Jeff’s eyes on me while his hand stays on my leg and my foot bounces with the music

“Can I go where you go?

Can we always be this close forever and ever?

And ah, take me out, and take me home

You're my, my, my, my lover”

“(Y/N)...” I hear Jeff say and I turn to look at him. “You followed me from North Carolina to Buffalo, why?” He asks. “Because I just can’t live without you, you’re my best friend, you’re my rock, I feel safest around you.” I say looking into his eyes.

“And I'm highly suspicious that everyone who sees you wants you

I've loved you three summers now, honey, but I want 'em all”

We continue to just stare at each other as the music plays, I can tell he’s deep in thought. “Jeff, what are you thinking about?” I ask him as I place my hand on his knee. He’s silent for a bit before he answers me with a slight smile, causing his dimples to show up. “You.” He says.

“Ladies and gentlemen, will you please stand?

With every guitar string scar on my hand

I take this magnetic force of a man to be my lover

My heart's been borrowed and yours has been blue

All's well that ends well to end up with you

Swear to be overdramatic and true to my lover

And you'll save all your dirtiest jokes for me

And at every table, I'll save you a seat, lover”

“Me?” I ask. “You, it’s always been you, I just didn’t know how to tell you I love you.” He says while blushing. The song ends and we just stare at each other. “Could the bridesmaids and groomsmen, as well as their dates come out on to the floor for a dance before we open it up for everyone?” The DJ asks. Jeff stands up and takes my hand and we head out to the floor. The next song starts to play and I’m pulled close to him.

“You've got a million reasons to hesitate

But darlin', the future's better than yesterday

I wasted so much time on people that reminded me of you”

“I understand why you could just walk away and hate me right now but, I’ve dated so many people that are just like you but not you. I’ve been used and hurt and for some reason my future has always just included you,” He says. “Oh my gosh I must live in a damn fairy tale,” I say, confusing him. “You came over to me earlier and that’s when it all clicked. I want to walk down that aisle again one day but with you waiting at the end for me, no one else.” I whisper.

“But I'll build a house out of the mess

And all the broken pieces

I'll make up for all of your tears

I'll give you the best years

I'll give you the best years

Past love burned out like a cigarette

I promise, darling, you won't regret

The best years”

We stare at each other with wide smiles. “Are you saying you love me?” He asks with a quiet giggle. “Of course I do, I followed you across the damn east coast,” I laugh and he spins me in a circle, drawing me back in when I’m done twirling. “Then let me make sure you’re never blue again, fix any broken pieces you have, and let you come along wherever I go,” he whispers into my ear. “Love me and never let go of me, please?” I say pulling away from his shoulder to look into his eyes. “Of course,” he says leaning in to press his forehead against mine.

“I promise, darling, you won't regret

The best years

I'll give you the best years”

The music starts to come to a close as he leans in and softly kisses me. “I better not regret this,” I whisper with a smile. “I promise you won’t because next time we dance on a floor like this, it’ll be me and you verses the world forever.”

#hockey #nhl #buffalo sabres #jeff skinner #jeff skinner imagine #hockey imagines #hockey one shot #hockey drabble #hockey fic #nhl drabble #nhl one shot #nhl imagine #nhl imagines #jeff skinner imagines #buffalo sabres imagine #thundersstruck masterlist

[darkangel0410]

fanfic authors tag game

Tagged by @caixxa

AO3 name: darkangel0410

Fandoms: Men's Hockey RPF, Hockey RPF, Bandom, Fall Out Boy, My Chemical Romance, Star Trek 2009

Number of fics: 158

1. Fic you spent the most time on: hmmm, probably auston, I started it right after I finished jack (7/14/18) and finally finished and posted it on 9/1/19.

2. Fic you spent the least time on: Undisclosed Desires, easy. I wrote it for a comment fic meme on my lj and it took all of ten minutes I think.

3. Longest fic: jack (14k)

4. Shortest fic: figured out (180 words)

5. Most hits: Undisclosed Desires (10,006 hits)

6. Most kudos: Undisclosed Desires (467 kudos)

7. Most comment threads: jack (19 threads)

8. Fave fic you wrote: oh, jack definitely. I love that 'verse and jack especially is my love letter to my ride-or-die, Jack Eichel.

9. Fic you want to rewrite/expand on: well, obviously I'm working on more godlings 'verse fics, but I do want to eventually write a sequel to on a hot summer night where they find out more about the cub(s) and we see Dahls and Mittsy get together, plus I'm about halfway through a prequel fic in the same verse where Jeff Skinner and Sam Reinhart get together.

10. Share a bit of your WIP or share a story idea that you’re planning: so many choices, but I don't think I've posted this before, so enjoy (McEichel, age difference, a/b/o):

The first time Connor pops his knot it's because of Jack Eichel. 

He's never told anyone because even as weird as hockey players are in general, he's not in a hurry to hand over prime chirping material and make himself even more different than everyone else. 

He's fifteen and in the guest bedroom at his billet's, the surroundings still unfamiliar enough that he's having a hard time falling asleep and he figures jerking off will get that done faster than anything else at this point; he has the late game on and it's mostly in the background, even before he licks his palm to get his hand wet enough that he can get himself off quick and dirty.

Connor's not even that close, really, when he hears someone laugh on the screen and he glances up in reflex, and Jack's on there, laughing with some reporter, without a shirt on and Connor can't stop staring at his shoulders, the curve of his neck when he tips his head back for a drink of water.

He comes almost embarrassingly fast after that, bites his lip bloody trying to keep the noises he wants to make in; the base of his dick throbs and it's more intense than any other orgasm Connor remembers, and when he can think again, he runs his hand down the shaft of his cock until he feels the bulge of his knot for the first time.

Even just the slight touch of his fingers on the sensitive skin makes him whimper and Connor immediately drops his hands onto the mattress and fists his hands in the sheets, stares up at the ceiling while he tries to stay awake until he feels level enough to clean himself off.

It's not the last time Connor ends up jerking off to Jack Eichel, even if he tells himself every time that he has to stop.

*

I tag @007waffles007 @adamsgirl42 @candy-belle @findastone but only do it if it seems like fun!

(Also, on mobile so I can't put anything behind a cut, sorry!)

#meme #sorry it took so long for me to do this #fic stuff...kinda #my fic #sibling incest #that's hockey baby

[drabblemesilly]

Jeff Skinner #4

Requested by Anon:  can you write one about jeff skinner and his smile because he has the best and most shiny smile I've ever seen

*Thank you so so much!! I hope you like this one. Enjoy!:)*

Word count: 862

You will never tell anyone this but your favorite thing in the world is seeing Jeff Skinner on the ice. Actually, your favorite thing in the world is seeing him smile while he’s on the rink. It’s just full of happiness, his face. You’ve never seen him that happy or his smile shine that bright other than when he’s skating on the ice, playing with a puck. For the longest time, at least after he gave up figure skating, hockey was his life. And he’s your life so… you just never miss a game.

You felt a slight nudge, “your obsession with me is kinda scary,” Jeff laughed, placing a bowl of popcorn on the table. His eyes were looking at the screen playing a recorded Carolina Hurricanes game.

 He slung one arm around your shoulder and shook you a little, pulling you closer, “do you stare at me when I sleep?”

Poking his dimpled cheek, you grinned, “sometimes I even take pictures,” you whispered as if you were telling him a top secret.

His grin widened, like he was actually pleased with the information you just shared, and kissed you gently, “that makes two of us,” he laughed.

He reached for the remote and switched the channels, “no more hockey for a while,” he stretched his arms above his head and moaning in pleasure, “I’m gonna sleep for three days,” he looked at you pointedly, “with you beside me, of course,” he smiled, “and then maybe fish or something.”

“Don’t forget your other lover,” you shifted so you had your legs over his lap, “Elias,” you chuckled, “what are his plans?”

Jeff shrugged. You’d think it’s impossible that he doesn’t know what Elias is going to do during the Carolina Hurricanes’ bye week seeing that they are almost joined at the hip but you already had a good talk with the Swede. He’s going to go fishing – again – and maybe to the beach but Jeff doesn’t know that.

Only because you already had plans for the both of you.

“Are you seriously planning on just staying here for five whole days?” you asked him incredulously, shoving his shoulder playfully.

He gave you another shrug, “you have work and I’m too tired to move anyway.”

You stopped yourself from snorting. What he said was a blatant lie.

True, you have work, but you both know that he’d skip town without even looking back if he’s given a chance.

Jeff has been complaining about the cold for the past few months. His complaining got so bad at one point that you had to remind him he was from Canada, born and raised, where winters are even worse than this.

You leaned over until your lips was grazing his cheek, “I did something,” you said, a sly smile on your lips.

Jeff frowned slightly, “what?”

“I might have,” you said slowly, leaning back and grabbing the folded paper behind you, “booked us a trip to Mexico.”

Jeff grabbed the paper so fast that you didn’t even have time to react. He read the tickets and looked back at you, mouth slightly hanging open, “you did this?”

You turned around to see if someone was behind you, “I don’t see another person here so,” you grinned, “yeah, I did it.”

His eyes sparkled even more after, his smile wider. Jeff puts in a lot of effort into the Hurricanes hockey program. He is not the first one in and the last one out but he’s consistent and hardworking. He was the first one to applaud when Justin Faulk was chosen for the All Star Games but you knew he wanted to be there too.

Okay, fine. Maybe you’re just biased because he’s the love of your life but damn if he doesn’t deserve the best. If truth be told, he probably wants to stay in the area because he wants to slip some ice time during the break.

“What about work?” he asked suddenly.

You blinked up at him, “what about it?”

“Don’t you have a lot of things to do?” he asked again. He knew it’s been very busy for you lately.

You shrugged, “it’s three days, they’ll live,” you smiled.

You crawled over to him again and cupped his cheek, “you deserve this vacation.”

He laughed, “I’m pretty sure I don’t but thank you,” he smiled, “we’ll have a lot of fun, I promise.”

“Sun, surf, and sand,” you winked, “as long as you’re happy, I’m good,” you told him. You ran your thumb on his bottom lip, tracing the mega-watt smile you love so much, “I love it when you smile like this,” you confessed, “I’m always happy when you’re happy,” you whispered, looking at him.

Jeff pulled you closer and planted a kiss on your forehead before embracing you, “you know I don’t need the beach to be happy,” he said, his voice muffled by your hair, “I’m always happy when I’m with you.”

“Me too,” you replied, kissing the skin right under his jaw, “your smile lights up my world,” you said.

“Well,” he huffed, “I’m gonna sound cheesy but,” he shrugged, pulling back to look at your eyes, “you’re my world,” he smiled, his dimple showing, “so I guess we’re all good.”

#jeff skinner #jeff skinner imagines #nhl imagines #hockey imagines #imagines #drabble #drabbles #my writing #fanfic #carolina hurricanes

[princessphilly]

For the fanfic ask game 👿🌝🍰

I answered the 😈

For the 🌝: I want to write for Jeff Skinner but nothing has happened yet

For the 🍰:

https://antoineroussel-archive.tumblr.com/post/181397295405/toward-a-feminine-sea-chris-kreider

https://kreiderrider.tumblr.com/post/654717789856317440/hey-everyone-ive-been-missing-because-ive-spent