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peterrparrkerr · 3 years

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Hanahaki disease - read on ao3

Tagging: @lokitonypeter @just-things-things @thegreenmetblue @someonepostedart @andacheesyoneliner @bluestarker @lilcoffeecup @useless-fanfictions-for-mcu

*-*

Peter's known for a long time that he was in love with Tony. Since he was seven, and Ironman saved his life. Since he came home to Tony Stark on his couch, talking with his aunt.

Since the trip to Germany, and everything else leading up to now. The more time he spent with the older man, the more in love with him he became.

Peter never really thought he'd be the one to get sick. He thought he'd been immune. He's had crushes before, been in unrequited love before, and he never got sick.

But with Tony, it came on so suddenly. One day he was fine, and then the next, blue petals were in his sink after a coughing fit.

He'd been so shocked he'd stumbled back and almost hit his head on the bathroom door.

That was six months ago, and its not gotten better. He's been lucky enough to hide it from everyone.

With May's long hours at the hospital and his school's wacky scheduling, and the Avengers keeping Peter on the outskirts, its easy to hide the blue flowers.

He's read stories about people with the disease getting better on their own, or even learning to live with it for the rest of their lives.

He's also read about it killing people.

But he can't tell Tony how he feels. He just can't. Tony thinks of Peter as a kid. Plus, while the age difference doesn't bother Peter at all, it might bother Tony.

The man was old enough to be his dad anyway. So Peter decided to hide the flower petals. For as long as he could.

"Hey, Pete, you getting the popcorn or what?" Clint calls from the living room. Peter coughs again, hunched over the trashcan beside the kitchen island.

"Yeah!" He shouts, coughing again. He reaches into his mouth, picking the petals off his tongue before straightening. He glances down at the trash, covered in wet, wilty petals and feels his stomach roll.

He quickly grabs a bunch of paper towel, throwing them into the trash to cover them, then pushing it all down as far as it'd go.

After a second, he grabs the two bowls of popcorn and makes his way back into the living room.

"Sorry, I had to melt the butter," he excused, handing one bowl off to Clint -who would be sharing with Nat, Bruce and Steve.

Peter handed the other bowl off to Sam, who was in reach of Tony, Thor, Bucky and Peter.

"What are we watching again?" Peter asked, clearing his throat. It was always worse when Peter was around Tony.

"Halloween," Sam said, smirking over at Peter.

"Its August," Peter exclaims.

"Yeah, and we were going to watch A Walk To Remember but Tony doesn't do chick flicks, and the grandparents haven't seen it yet."

"Hey, Tony hasnt seen it either," Steve yelped, waving a hand at Tony, sitting at the corner of the couch, beside Sam.

Peter tried not to think about how close they'd be if Sam and him just switched places.

"That's because Halloween is a terrible series."

"It not!" Peter can't help interjecting. "Its right up there with Nightmare on Elm Street and Friday the 13th."

"How do you even know what those movies are?" Clint asks, laughing on the other couch.

"I watch old movies," Peter shrugged, feeling the familiar sense of self-consciousness creep into his chest, tickling at his lungs.

"Old!" Tony barked. "Kid, the 80s aren't old."

Peter forces himself to laugh and shrug and make a joke about hanging out with people twice his age, and the conversation moves on.

But it just reminds Peter that Tony would never see him as an equal because of his age. There was no way he'd ever accept that Peter loved him. Or would love him back.

The movie plays, and Peter chews handfuls of popcorn to keep from coughing up a lung.

Bucky and Steve are on the edge of their seats, fully invested in the corny horror film when Tony starts coughing.

Everyone glances over in concern, but the man just waves his hand, mouth pressed into his elbow.

"Pop-corn-" he chokes out between coughs.

"You're supposed to chew it," Nat laughs. Peter tries not to outwardly show how worried he is when Tony's face grows red, the coughing so bad he has to get up and make his way to his bedroom down the hallway.

Everyone returns to watching the movie, but Peter can't help but wonder if Tony's okay, especially when he doesn't come back right away.

"Uh, I gotta take a leak," Peter lies, climbing to his feet.

"Thanks for sharing, little man," Sam huffed. Peter doesn't say anything else,just makes his way down the hallway.

Tony's bedroom is all the way at the end. The only people who live in the penthouse with him are Steve and Bucky, and Wanda and Vision -though they're out on a date for the night.

He passes the bathroom door, and his frown deepens when he hears Tony hacking in his bedroom.

He keeps light on his toes, reaching the bedroom door that's not all the way closed, and pushes it open just a little.

"Ton-" the sight before him cuts him off, and he ducks back a little, worried maybe the older man might've seen him.

He feels his chest tighten at the sight. Tony, leaned over with a bedside trash can between his knees, coughing up little pink flowers.

Peter's eyes widen when the man spits a glob of blood into the basket before continuing to cough.

Tears burn at Peter's eyes and he quickly backs up, rushing down the hallway and past the living room.

"Hey, where you going? Where's the fire?"

"I-I gotta go home aunt May- uh, I gotta go she wants me home," Peter shouts, snatching up his keys and phone on the way out.

He's in the elevator, and he can't stop the sobs from tightening his throat.

Tony's sick. Tony's in love with someone who doesn't love him back. Tony's in love with someone and its not Peter.

Be chokes on tears and petals all the way to the main floor, shoves the petals into his pocket and runs from the building.

He knew his love was unrequited. He knew there was no chance, but to see Tony so in love with someone else -it was like digging a knife into his heart and twisting.

He makes it to his bedroom and buries his face into his pillow, muffling his crying so May won't hear when she gets home. Hopefully she'll think hes still at the tower and won't check on him until the morning.

He cries himself to sleep, eyes gritty and heavy.

*-*

"Hey, kid, how's patrolling going?"

Peter jolts at the sudden sound of Tony's voice in his ear, momentarily forgetting he has a connection to the tower now. New upgrades.

"Uh, good," Peter huffed, swinging from building to building. "Stopped a mugging, and helped a couple people with the parking meters."

Tony chuckles over the coms. "You gotta stop showing people the coin on tape trick."

Peter can't help but smile through his mask. He clears his throat when he feels the familiar tickle at the back of his throat.

"Fuck capitalism, Mr. Stark," he says.

"You do know capitolism is kind of my job?"

"Its not," Peter countered. "I mean, it relied heavily on it in the beginning -what with the weapons and war profiteering- but you've come a long way! Sustainable energy and you're even recycling!"

Tony chuckles again, and Peter has a moment to regret his words -Tomy probably thinks he's just a dumb kid- before a coughing fit hits him out of nowhere.

It's so bad, Peter loses his momentum and drops onto a rough of a small cafe. Hes on his hands and knees, crawling from the edge of the roof as he coughs and hacks.

"Pete, you okay? What's wrong?" Comes Tony's worried voice.

Peter feels the petals coating his mouth with nowhere to go and frantically tugs on his mask. He's choking, suffocating.

He rips the mask off and heaves a mess of petals and blood onto the gravel roof.

Its never been this bad. Panic grips his chest when he coughs and wretches more than he can get a breath in. He's suffocating.

Tears burn his eyes as he struck less desperately to take a breath. Just one breath.

His head begins to spin, chest heaving and he drops from his knees to his hips, legs curled off to the side as he holds himself up with shaky arms.

There's so much blood and petals, Peter doesn't know where its all coming from.

He's too busy dying to notice the suit of armor that drops onto the roof, or that Tony's suddenly rushing towards him.

"Jesus, kid!" He breathed.

Peter lets out a sob, blood and petals continuing to fall from his mouth. His stomach hurts from the heaving, his chest from lack of oxygen.

Tony grabs him by the arms, pulling him forward until he's away from the pile of bile, blood and blue wilting flowers, nearly cradling him in his arms.

"Its alright, you're okay, you're gonna be okay," Tony repeated, rocking Peter while he continued to cough and sob.

He shakes his head, even as exhaustion and lack of air flow has his eyelids drooping, body settling further into Tony's hold.

When he wakes up again, he's in a hospital bed. Theres an iv in the back of his hand, and a tube running down his throat from his nose.

He swallows around it and has to fight back panic at the strange feeling.

There's a heart monitor on his index finger, and a few on his chest -which is bare.

Peter moves shaky hands to the blanket and pulls it up just enough to see. Someone had taken his suit off, leaving him in his red boxers.

He blushes at that. Who had taken his suit off? Damn, he hoped it wasn't Clint or Sam.

He drops the blanket just as the door opens. He looks up to see Tony step inside and he wants the bed to swallow him whole.

"Hey, kid," he greeted, shutting the door behind him and making his way towards Peter's bed. "You had us all pretty worried."

Peter drops his eyes to the itchy white hospital sheet, picking at a loose thread and not saying anything. What was there to say?

Tony sighs as he settles down into the chair beside the bed.

"Your aunt May is in the middle of a shift, but she'll be stopping by when she's got a break to check up on you."

"Okay," Peter barely manages to murmur.

"The doctors had to pump your lungs," Tony continued. "But its not a cure, Pete. They'll come back."

Tears burn at his eyes and he quickly brushes them away, sniffling as he does so.

"I know," he said. "Its alright, I'm okay."

"Peter," Tony sighs, grabbing Peter's hand. He looks up then, seeing the concern in the older man's eyes. "You're not okay, you're really sick."

"People live with it all the time," Peter brushed off.

"Who is it?"

"What?" Peter asked, heart monitor matching his fast pulse.

"Who is it? How long have you been like this?"

and it must be because Peter is tired -exhausted and drained and so sick of being sick- because fresh tears bloom and he pulls his hand from Tony's.

"Long time," is all he can say as he presses his palms into his eyes, rubbing at the tears.

"Who," Tony presses.

Fuck it, Peter thinks. He's already dying, he's already humiliated. Why not just confess?

"You," he says, pulling his hands from his face. "I've-I've been in love with you for- for years."

He can't handle the shocked look that filters through Tony's features, so he looks down at the iv in his hand, lower lip trembling.

"And I know you don't think of me that way," he continues. "I know, so its okay, I'm fine, I'll get over it or, or get the surgery or something-"

"Peter," Tony interrupts, moving from the chair to the side of the bed. He grabs both sides of Peter's jaw, forcing him to look up at Tony. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because," he says on a wet breath. "Because you've always thought of me as a kid. You- I'm still just a kid to you, and thats okay, Mr. Stark, I'm-"

Tony's eyebrows furrow as Peter has to stop talking. He's getting to the point where he's babbling, not understandable.

"I don't think of you as a kid," Tony says.

"Yes, you do," Peter huffed, taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down. "You do, and thats okay, I promise, I've live this long with it, I'm okay."

"Has it always been that bad?"

Peter shakes his head.

"What made it worse?"

Peter's showing his hand already, he might as well expose the card up his sleeve too.

"I saw you," he murmured. "During the movie. You're sick too. I didn't mean to, I was just- checking to make sure you were okay but-"

"Peter, sweetheart," Tony interrupted, and Peter looked up at him, realizing suddenly the man's eyes are watering a little.

"I'm sick because of you."

Peter feels like someone punched the air from his lungs, and he blinks up at Tony, eyebrows drawing close as he tries to process what Tony's said.

"What?" He asks feebly. A small smile pulls at the corner of Tony's mouth and he leans forward, kissing Peter softly on the mouth.

It's a simple kiss, but it sucks the air from Peter's lungs.

"We're really bad at communicating, kid," Tony chuckled wetly, their noses brushing. Peter can't help but sniffle a laugh as well, his hands moving to grip the front of Tony's shirt.

"M'not a kid," he mumbles, pressing his forehead against Tony's. The older's hands are still cradling his face, thumbs brushing against his wet cheeks.

"No, you're not," Tony agreed.

#marvel #tony stark #peter parker #ironman #spiderman #starker #ao3 #my writing #sfsummerbingo21

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dearophelia · 2 years

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okay I hated the 90s Lisa Frank gif tumblr stuck on here so it’s toast; here’s my year in review

I posted 842 times in 2021

230 posts created (27%)

612 posts reblogged (73%)

For every post I created, I reblogged 2.7 posts.

I added 318 tags in 2021

#g:mass effect - 86 posts

#oph texts - 65 posts

#t:stargate - 29 posts

#grey's hellspiral - 25 posts

#s:2021 - 25 posts

#livblogging - 22 posts

#mass effecting - 20 posts

#oph’s sick - 18 posts

#s:words - 16 posts

#s:waves - 12 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#but like if i didn't have somewhere else to be at 8:15 the next morning i would absolutely drive through indiana for what amounts to a movie

My Top Posts in 2021

please validate me (rebloggable!)

i’m having a hell of a weird time not dissociating from my body ever since it decided to betray me by expressing a cancer gene that came from a genetic line that was entirely men until me. so what do we do? take pictures for strangers on the internet and ask people who’ve not seen or heard from you in six months to validate your existence. yeah, that’s a good plan.

40 notes • Posted 2021-03-22 03:27:43 GMT

also if anyone wants to contribute to my Stage IV Cancer Sucks And So I Have A Self-Care Fund, here is my kofi

(please rb even if you can’t donate)

61 notes • Posted 2021-11-27 03:09:06 GMT

“Fighting is said to have reached Palaven.”

With all her breath and all her strength and all the conviction of all the stars in the sky, Olivia tries not to hear the newscast.

Not when she’s checking on Ashley, battered and bruised and unconscious, hooked up to machines dripping medicine and nutrition into her veins. One of the best soldiers she’s ever met, knocked down before the war hardly started.

(If you can call this a war. Olivia isn’t sure yet if it’s a war or a slaughter. She’s going to fight like it’s a war, though. Wars have hope.)

Not when she’s talking to the Council, hearing new voices stonewall her with the same arguments. Why should we care, she hears between the lines when Irissa and Isheel speak, our homeworlds are still green and golden. Quentius trades in favors, payment due up front.

(We’ve lost everything, she wants to scream at them. We’ve lost our homeworld, a fleet, our entire government, all gone in a single day and you still won’t listen. We can stop them, why won’t you listen. In the elevator, Liara talks her off the ledge. Barely.)

Not when she’s trudging back to the Normandy with nothing but bad news to give Hackett. With nothing but bad news to give her crew, skeleton and new as it is. Olivia’s no stranger to uphill battles, but the walk to Normandy’s airlock is a sheer cliff.

(This is the beginning, not the middle or the end. This heavy, suffocating feeling is a beginning.)

“Fighting is said to have reached Palaven.” The newscast cycles as the airlock closes behind her.

She can’t help but hear it now, on repeat through her head in the silent airlock.

With all her breath and all her strength and all the conviction of all the stars in the sky, Olivia begs the universe – please, if you have any kindness in you at all, please let him be alive.

68 notes • Posted 2021-06-22 03:25:34 GMT

psa

think twice before you use battle/fight imagery to refer to cancer patients

most importantly, “they lost their battle with cancer” sounds like the patient failed. didn’t try hard enough, didn’t do the right things, wasn’t strong enough. it sounds like it’s the patient’s fault for dying. that’s hurtful. knock it off.

also, battles and fights imply agency on behalf of the participants. none of us chose this. and most of us have no choice in what’s happening at any given time in our course(s) of treatment. we are the battlefields, not the armies.

it may work for your loved one, or even you if you’re a patient. it may not! it may hurt people! so think that whole thought through before you speak it out loud okay? thanks

152 notes • Posted 2021-09-22 23:57:36 GMT

this got eaten somewhere and needs to not have done that

1125 notes • Posted 2021-11-10 19:21:19 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#this post is a formatting MESS but i feel honored that it even posted #that aphrodite cosplay was fuckin amazing though did i ever post the full edited versions?#i don’t think i did I SHOULD DO THAT IT’S REALLY HOT

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kiriluvbot · 3 years

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lvr boy

todoroki has a rough day, and sero attempts to make him feel better. both boys figure out that distractions aren’t always the answer to emotional distress.

—

han !!: hey shou i saw u leave dinner early are u ok?

shou <3: yeah, just a bit drained. sorry i left without saying anything.

han !!: hun u don’t need to apologize, i jus wanna make sure ur doin ok !!

han !!: is there anything i can do?

shou <3: come over ?

han !!: u bet, On my way!

han !!: ive got an idea to cheer u up bb

and that’s how hanta sero got to be hanging from his tape on the rafters directly outside shouto todoroki’s room, over his balcony.

han !!: i’m outside <3

don’t ask him how the physics works; he doesn’t know either. hanta imagined what it must be like to be the fictional american hero, spiderman, and tried to stick his tape from the most secure place on the roof and dangled downward, getting into position as fast as he could so he’d be ready when shouto peeled open the door leading to his balcony.

except he hadn’t exactly said he would be on the balcony.

and it’s cold outside. hanta shivers as a rush of wind sends him waving like a flag outside shouto’s room. he feels more and more ridiculous the longer he sits—dangles?— here, with all the blood rushing to his head. what's taking shouto so long?

inside, shouto is peering into the hall, looking for a familiar head of dark hair. he’s tired. he needs hanta to be able to properly recharge. he misses hanta. he sort of wants to cry, sort of wants to melt into the floor, sort of wants hanta to sweep him up and make him forget everything else in the world.

he frowns when he finds no one outside his door. “hanta?”

where is he?

shouto glances over his shoulder, at the doors leading to his balcony, at the thick curtains blocking out the moonlight.

surely not...

but it’s hanta, and he had said he’d be outside. hanta comes up with the craziest ideas sometimes. but how could he have gotten out there?

shouto shakes his head once, crosses the room with apprehension. pulling back the curtain, shouto nearly jumps out of his skin at the sight of hanta sero outside his door, hanging upside down with a tight grip on his tape, the widest, goofiest smile on his face.

shouto slides open the door, the rush of cool wind sending goosebumps crawling over his skin. even being this close to hanta makes him stand up a little taller, already absorbing energy to start recharging. he’s a magnet. hanta is a ball of pure, unhinged light and love. hanta is a source of comfort, a place to come home to. shouto can’t stop his growing smile as it mirrors hanta’s own.

“there you are,” shouto breathes. that overwhelming weight that just kept building through the day starts to lay off, little by little.

“how’s this for a surprise?” hanta’s waving a bit in the wind. his cheeks, nose, and ears are dusted pink. inky black hair waves with him, curling at the ends. his eyes are dark pools full of stars, full of adoration, full of mischief.

shouto could—should—kiss him.

“i’m always surprised with you, hanta,” shouto says, laughing lightly as he steps out of his room, bare feet on the wood of the balcony. they’re close to eye level, and shouto raises his hands, almost unsure, and presses them to hanta’s grinning cheeks.

“gotta keep my boy on his toes, you know?” hanta tries to lean in the closer shouto gets like a moth to a flame, curious eyes searching shouto’s face for any tells of fatigue, of sickness, of sadness. he only finds sleepy awe. “gotta change things up every now and then.”

the two toned boy plants a ghost of a kiss to hanta’s forehead. it’s not enough. “this must be a spiderman thing,” shouto muses. “i know how much you like that guy.”

“naturally. he’s the coolest,” hanta giggles at that, and shouto’s fractured heart starts to mend. his cracked facade from spending the whole day strung out, anxious for nothing, begins to crumble at his feet. hanta has a knack for pulling shouto completely apart, for piecing him wholly together, for taking the pressure off shouto’s shoulders, even if it’s just for a little while.

“i remember the movie we watched together,” shouto hums, thumbs grazing over hanta’s cheekbones. “there was a scene similar to this, right?”

hanta’s skin burns under his fingers. shouto watches his adam’s apple dip as he swallows. “something like it, yeah.”

shouto meets his eye, recognizes that mischievous look flickering over his features. he chases the light, takes in every single detail of hanta’s face, every detail he has memorized like constellations at this point, every detail he wants to place a kiss to, every detail he never gets tired of.

then, shouto gets on his tippy toes and tilts forward, holding hanta’s face, and kisses his lover boy, slow and sweet. it’s strange kissing someone upside down, but hanta kisses him back like he’s been anxiously waiting for it to come, like he’ll never get enough.

it’s not enough.

when shouto pulls back, hanta is smiling again, dizzy and red faced. in a single, fluid movement, hanta flips and releases the hold on his tape. he lands, steady on his feet in front of shouto, wind blown hair framing his face like a priceless painting. his grin, his pure, radiating joy and goodness outshines the moon, as if the sun instead resides inside his chest.

he’s too good for me.

hanta’s eyes widen as shouto takes his reddening hands and kisses those, too. kisses his palms. his knuckles. shouto has always loved hanta’s hands; clever and sneaky hands, sure and gentle hands.

he knows the patterns of hanta’s hands like the back of his own, knows the life lines, the callouses, the old scar between his middle and pointer finger knuckles. he knows the pattern of all his moles and freckles and the way they creep up his arms, up his neck, down his chest like a fairy danced to their favorite song over his skin.

after a sharp intake of breath, hanta asks, “are you alright, shou?”

not really. i’m asking for a distraction. do you think a distraction will make it all go away? all this pressure on my chest?

the sincerity of his voice causes shouto to stop in his tracks.

i didn't sleep well at all. i had a nightmare about failing the hero course. i was late to class.

he looks up, blue and gray falling on gravitational black.

i got a 60 on our history test today and i locked myself in the bathroom for three minutes trying to remind myself it’s just one single test.

hanta’s smile is dipping.

bakugo was yelling more than usual. aizawa and iida both told me i was off my game. i spilled my drink in my lap at lunch.

he grips shouto’s fingers and pulls him closer. always closer.

i had to cancel my plans with my mom this friday to retake the test i bombed. i cried after we got off the phone.

shouto has to tilt his head up. hanta sure has gotten tall.

he feels childish trying to explain why literally nothing had gone his way today, why every small thing made him want to curl up and cry for hours. “just—today was a bit overwhelming. everything going wrong and getting too loud, you know? but i’m feeling better.”

now that you’re here.

when hanta leans into his space again, shouto unconsciously warms up the air around them.

“do you wanna talk about it?”

my coffee spilled over the edge of the cup this morning and hurt my fingers and i had to sit on the floor for six and a half minutes trying to suck the tears back into my eyes.

“not really,” shouto answers. it’s not a lie.

“you’re sure?”

his breath is warm on shouto’s face, eyes wide and sincere.

“i’m sure.”

if we talk about it i’m almost certain i’ll cry again.

hanta seems to buy it. his lip ticks upward just a notch. that curiosity turns sly as he releases shouto from his hold, as his hands dance up and over the shorter boy’s shoulders, over his shoulder blades, down his spine.

“totally sure?”

the space between is no space and too much all at once. it’s not enough.

“absolutely sure.” just kiss me already, you maniac.

finally, finally, hanta’s lips find his own, right side up and certain. stars explode in shouto’s chest, behind his eyes. supernova as his fingers dip into hanta’s hair, as he melts under the attention and contact, on his tippy toes.

all too soon, hanta pulls back, humming all the while. shouto nearly pouts at the loss until hanta dips down, those searching hands taking shouto’s thighs.

oh.

the smaller boy squeaks, though he’ll always deny it later, as hanta picks him up and wraps shouto’s legs around his waist.

oh.

he’s… carrying him.

this is new.

“we’re goin’ inside,” is the only explanation hanta offers. his head whips back up in a flurry of glittering hair and a puckish grin. always glittering. always grinning.

shouto holds on tightly, arms around around hanta’s shoulders. he keeps his mouth shut for fear of saying something completely stupid. hanta is talking, though shouto’s been too focused on the muscles of his back beneath his hands to really know what he said. his chin presses into shouto’s collar. shouto wishes it were his lips instead. god.

still holding on to shouto, with those goddamn hands on shouto’s thighs—i’m gonna die—hanta shuts the door and closes the curtain like he’s seen shouto do a thousand times during his nightly shut in routine. shouto considers asking to be let down but—but his hands on his thighs—i’m gonna die, i’m gonna die, this is where it ends—

hanta’s shampoo smells like grapefruit. his hair brushes shouto’s cheek. he wants to bury his face in it, wants to move it to the side and explore every freckle dusting his smooth skin, wants to kiss every single place he can reach—good god, he’s gonna die.

then, incredibly, horribly, boldly, hanta sits at the edge of shouto’s bed. he readjusts so shouto is sitting properly in his lap, legs still wrapped around his waist. those goddamn hands slide down the sides of shouto’s thighs, over the fabric of his pajama shorts, just barely grazing exposed skin, like hanta knows. shouto lifts his head from the crook in hanta’s neck to finally get a good look at him in this soft lighting.

hanta’s cheeks are still painted pink.

there’s so much contact. broad shoulders beneath his hands. solid chest if he drags his hands down. narrow waist if he goes even further, strong abs from swinging through the air and keeping his balance. his hands on shouto’s thighs.

any and all rational thoughts shouto may have had exit stage right.

“this okay?” he asks.

shouto responds with a single nod of his head. he’s distracted, alright.

that’s a good enough answer for hanta. the raven haired boy pressed forward once again, closing the gap, aiming for shouto’s lips but landing right next to them. shouto can feel his smile against his skin. his chest is tight, his fingers subconsciously twisting the ends of hanta’s wavy hair.

everything slows down.

“there’s a dimple here when you smile, you know?” hanta murmurs, a cold pointer finger tapping the spot just to the left of his mouth. he kisses that spot. it’s horribly and surprisingly tender, plucking shouto’s weakened heart strings. “have i ever told you how much i love that dimple?”

“i don’t think so.” his head tilts back.

his lips dip beneath shouto’s jaw. “what about this? surely i’ve told you how much i love this.” his kiss is warm, his laughter tickling as he says, “the freckles here look like the little dipper.”

shouto’s eyes flutter closed as lips press under his ear.

“the little dipper, hm?”

hanta hums and shouto can feel it vibrate through his chest. he pulls back a bit, brings shouto’s scarred hero-in-training hands up to his lips and kisses all ten fingers, all ten knuckles, slowly, making sure not to skip a single one.

“and your hands,” hanta murmurs, thumb rubbing circles on the soft part of shouto’s palm. “i love how capable and powerful they are, how you can create and destroy, how you still choose to be gentle.” a kiss touches down on his right palm, a strike through his heart. the sweetness makes shouto’s teeth ache.

there’s a smirk in his voice when hanta speaks again. “and these,” he says, breath startling warm and close to shouto’s collarbones, peeking out of his t-shirt. fingers dip into the fabric, pulling down just a bit. shouto sucks in a breath as lips land true on the bone. “always wanted to kiss you here, you know?”

what took you so long to do it?!

the part of shouto’s brain that was working to create coherent thoughts is in system shut down mode. he basks under the attention, under the light, under the worship of hanta sero, of his boyfriend, of his best friend. he basks and he melts, completely unsure of how to take it, how to accept it.

“and this—“ there’s a small birthmark at the very base of shouto’s neck hanta has wanted to kiss since they were first years. so he does. “love this here.”

every single bit of you, shouto todoroki.

there’s a pause that makes shouto open his eyes and search for hanta.

the taller boy could carry on all night, reaching out for every small inch of shouto todoroki that he’s in love with and explaining exactly why he loves each minuscule detail of it, but he pauses.

shouto’s brows dip, hesitant.

hanta came here to make sure he was okay.

he holds the gaze of the boy in his lap, of the boy he’s loved since he was fifteen, of the boy he’ll love until he passes on from this world to the next. there’s a blurry daze in his blue and gray eyes, but an ever deeper exhaustion pulls at all his edges. hanta can sweep shouto off his feet left and right, tell him all these lovely things and kiss him until he can’t see straight, but those things are merely temporary distractions.

i’m alright, i promise.

he tilts his head, and his smile is almost sad.

you’re not alright, i saw it in the way you tapped your foot in class, the way you pressed your icy fingers into your forehead, the way you avoided your table at lunch. i saw it in the way you were completely silent during practice, the way you wouldn’t engage in banter with bakugo, the way you couldn’t seem to sit still at dinner. i saw it in the way you left early, in the hectic, cracked state you were in when i got here, when you opened the door.

“hanta?” his voice cracks. shouto thinks, i don't deserve this affection. this appreciation. not from someone as good as you. you deserve—someone who isn’t ready to sob when you tell him you love something about him. hanta—

hanta presses his hand flat against shouto’s chest—no, his heart. he sees the way shouto chews on the inside of his cheek, the way his multicolored lashes flutter.

“i love you here, shouto,” hanta says. “when everything is too much and too loud. when you feel like nothing is going your way, when a split coffee cup feels like the end of the world.”

shouto’s lip purses, blinking furiously. his hands twist into the front of hanta’s shirt as the smaller boy falls forward, collapsing onto hanta’s shoulder with little grace.

“‘m sorry,” is the only thing shouto can muster.

hanta wraps an arm around him, pulls him as close as they can get. his lips press to shouto’s temple, to the stray strands of ruby locks there. “you don’t need to apologize, shou.” his shirt collar is wet. “sometimes… sometimes you just need to talk, you know? you need to let it out instead of leaving it unchecked.”

shouto’s heart pounds against hanta’s chest.

“you asked for a distraction. i should be saying sorry for getting all sappy,” hanta kisses his temple again, feels shouto’s shoulders begin to shake.

shouto laughs at that, small and weak and breathless. i needed to hear it. more than i thought i did. more than you know.

in truth, today isn’t the only awful day the two toned boy has had recently. it’s been every single day, one after the other, but he refused to acknowledge how tired and just plain sad he felt. he thought that if he pulled hanta into his bedroom and closed his eyes, it would go away with time.

and then the coffee burnt his fingers this morning.

that was the final shove. the final push to send shouto hurtling over the edge, stressed and strung out and overwhelmed. he just needs a break. a healthy, peaceful break that doesn’t involve reaching too far or doing something he might regret. he needs to plug in and recharge, to lay it all out on the table and sort through his troubles, to piece himself back together and get back to normal.

hanta hugs him tighter.

and now his resolve and control is cracking and spilling out, through his veins and his bones, through his heart and his eyes. he holds onto hanta like his life depends on it, letting it all out, finally giving in, finally letting go. distraction wasn’t the answer; he could only forget for so long, as more things piled on until it crushed him.

sometimes the world is too much, too loud.

shouto cries into hanta’s shoulder until there's nothing left. until he feels at peace. until he falls asleep in hanta’s arms.

he dreams of hanta with cherry blossoms in his hair, that same glittering grin on his face.

—

*drops this and runs a thousand miles in the other direction”

https://archiveofourown.org/works/29825064

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melforbes · 3 years

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seaglass blue annotations

hello! i just posted the last chapter and thought i’d put together some ~fun context~ for that fic. it got way way more attention than i ever expected and for something i feel i didn’t put that much effort into i think i did in the end put a lot of effort into it so i might as well talk about it and answer some potential questions.

my favorite book of all time is the sunlit night by rebecca dinerstein (yes, that one) and something i find really compelling about that book is how sparing the prose is, forcing the reader to fill in certain gaps, and i think having to fill in those gaps makes the book a really acquired taste with which either you love it or hate it and there’s not really an in-between

i also really adore how in that book the natural world backdrop comes to life, something i find really challenging to write. recently i even read into thin air, the book about the 1996 mount everest disaster, and even though the writing was superb, i still had to google what the hillary step was because i couldn’t picture it on my own. i don’t know how people write nature because to me it feels damn near impossible, but this sparing approach really worked, so i thought i might try it out. i tend to be longwinded (gestures vaguely at this post) and wanted to have certain parts of this be a lot smaller and more contained without negating impact. whether or not i made it work is anyone’s guess. definitely not my normal style, so to speak

based on the comments i’ve received i think this might be everyone’s favorite part. in my mind age of consent by new order was playing in the background. in pretty much every fic i have a scene like this one and all of them are based on the poem first base gold by rh*annon mcg*vin from her book branches (censored because she has a tumblr and i don’t want her seeing this haha)

i absolutely can’t do the poem justice by describing what it’s about, but the simplest, most basic interpretation of the poem is that there is no better place to kiss than right here, right now, because of the past. i really like that imagery and tend to use it a lot. she as a writer has been a big inspiration for me and if you’ve read my fic true minds i should add that the nonfiction inspiration for that was directly as a result of one of her youtube videos. i particularly love how the last paragraph (stanza? im not a poet) is one big run-on sentence that’s jovial and tongue-in-cheek and colloquial and straightforward. it feels triumphant in a quiet way to me and i love how it’s done. obviously my attempts at something similar are nowhere near as insightful, but still, the most basic image of this is that there is no better place to kiss, and that’s how i felt about the two of them finding pudding in the supermarket

this part is autobiographical; while writing this last year, i went through six months of intravenous drug treatment, a month and a half of which involved long days of doctor visits on every weekday. when you’re on stuff like that for a long time you end up with a central line for better access (potential plot hole in all of this: scully never had one) but for a month and a half i got poked almost every day and strangely enough it got harder over time. the first couple you never feel, but a week or two later you start flinching, and if the needle goes in the same vein each time, it hurts the more it gets prodded. i reached a point toward the end of the in-office visits in which i would bleed a lot every time i got poked, and i can’t watch anything like that happen to me so i was looking away each time, and when i felt that the nurse was done, i would look back over, and sometimes i would be looking down at a pool of blood that i hadn’t expected to see. it’s weird, you don’t actually feel yourself bleeding, i would’ve expected a hot bloody feeling but instead it felt like nothing. and when i say a pool i mean that it would drip down beneath my elbow, stain the sheet they’d put underneath, and i wouldn’t get all of it off until i showered. i didn’t necessarily find it scary, but it was surreal and kind of pulled me out of normalizing the experience i was having. for a very long time needing iv drugs was my greatest fear and i was surrounded by that then and fine, and then, there was blood all over my arm, and like, haha, this is actually not fine. you’d think something else would’ve been scarier, but it wasn’t. and now looking back at this paragraph i wish i’d edited it differently but hey that’s life

i’d never really understood the purpose of religion as a self-driven part of life until i took anatomy in college. i was raised catholic and though culturally i understand having a religion and being raised with one, i’ve never really reached for religion when i wanted answers, and i haven’t personally understood why that’s someone’s first option. and i know there’s been plenty of commentary on the hypocrisy of dana scully as a catholic who believes in science, yada yada yada, i think everyone has read all of that by now. but what struck me while learning anatomy is that there is a kind of neuron we don’t know the function of. there are four kinds of neurons, and one of them is still a mystery to us. and then, there’s all of these different parts of human bodies that exist in a certain perfect way, but why do they exist like that? to support life, yes, but why is it that we can make comparisons? why were irises not the same color? and we name valves of the heart after religious figures. we are so hell-bent on meaning that something literal will never be enough. and all of that made me think that dana scully has god to fill in what science won’t answer, at least not yet. and there’s definitely a bigger conversation about science as denial of indigenous cultures that i am nowhere near qualified to start. after taking those classes, i think i would be more shocked if she wasn’t religious. you can ignore pretty much all of the paragraph above but it was important to me that at some point in this fic she willingly conceded that she didn’t know what would happen and that she didn’t have answers. with illness, there is no logic, there’s no thinking your way out of it, and i think that would plague her for a long time. to me, she only would accept her death when she could say she had no idea what would happen, she has no answers, there’s nothing filling in her gaps anymore, and she’s comfortable with that. and i put all of that in a paragraph about my thoughts on god because it made sense to me. there are times that just feel like you’re in a movie and there’s no one else you can say caused them. it’s not enough to build belief on but it’s enough to bring a certain kind of wonder. also one time my parents insisted on watching stripes because it was so funny and when watching it none of us found it funny at all and my parents grimaced and were like what were we on that made that good back in the day so that’s in here now haha

and now, the biggest question: does she die at the end? when i came up with the idea for this fic, i knew the beginning and ending but not the middle, and i posted this as a smaller project (ie: chapters below 3,000 words) while illness made my bigger projects harder to work on and essentially flew by the seat of my pants the whole time. i wrote the last line a long long time ago and have always seen the ending as written as the concrete ending. when i started writing this, i never intended for there to be a definitive answer to whether or not she dies. i like premature endings (the ending of girls burn brighter comes to mind) and i think that this works better without saying whether or not she lives. and i also have a hard time with giving a definitive answer because this fic very much is about death and having her die would, of course, be traumatic, but showing her living instead i think ruins any takeaways people could have. i’ve never had cancer but as a chronically ill person i think i can speak to how you never actually win with illness; the best you can do is tie, and sometimes, no matter how much effort you put in, you “lose” anyway, you lose spectacularly, and all of your effort was for nothing. i wholeheartedly believe that humans can’t emotionally or logically process natural disasters or illness, hence why much of the talk about illness in this is from mulder’s perspective as he experiences her terminal illness secondhand; that way, he doesn’t need to (but still likely will) find logic or reason or meaning for death from a terminal illness, so his discoveries and his coping mechanisms aren’t as urgently needed. had i written a chapter that describes how she lives, i think that the discussion of death in this would be voided altogether. and i also don’t believe the ending would be much different whether she lives or dies; there’s still the need for death acceptance and talking about dying, whether or not she lives, and none of the story in this fic would have happened had the characters known she would live. the whole point is not knowing.

for a little while i toyed with writing an unofficial sequel of sorts in which i spelled out what i think happens after the ending, but after realizing that that would end up being longer than the original fic and would also have some massive plot holes, i decided against it. i do have my own version and i don’t want to share that version because i never really intended for my version to be some kind of genuine sequel in which every question gets answered and everything is wrapped up and happy ever after and whatnot. it was just where my brain wandered in the same way it wanders when i watch an open-ended movie. all of that to say, if you think she lives, then she lives. if you think she dies, then she dies. it’s your decision. i’d much rather you choose than me. i never marked this as “major character” death on ao3 because, well, she doesn’t die in this fic. whether or not she dies after the fic ends, that’s for you to decide.

thank you for taking the time to read my writing. i never expected this to blow up (it blew up for me at least, for a while it was my most popular fic ever, with i think thousands more hits than anything else i’d written) and the response has been mind-boggling and wonderful. i don’t respond to comments often because it makes me feel like a pompous jerk (”thank you for enjoying this! i, too, enjoy this thing i have written! oh ho ho!” is how it sounds to me in my head, whereas when other writers respond to comments to me it just looks like thanks man have a good day, feel free to call me a weenie) but i’ve appreciated all of them very much. THANK YOU! i hope your new year is a Whole Lot Less Shit than 2020. i don’t plan on writing more msr because i don’t really have any ideas for them. thank you for making my last time special <3

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ierogenvy · 3 years

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mel @bourgeoix tagged me in the "Tell Me Good Things That Happened This Year" meme thing so here we go ! here r my top 5:

movies i watched

perks of being a wallflower (ive already seen this b4 this year but i also havent watched it since then so. i cried real hard)

rocky horror picture show

just mercy

the wrong missy (im only including this bc i (accurately) guessed the plot and the ending bc its just a bad fanfic/romcom and my dad got angry bc he thought id looked up the movie. like no i just saw what they did there. also i regretably like david spade movies)

hot rod (those of u that pay attention may know that i almost exclusively watch this when im under an influence but its actually really good)

tv shows i watched

dead to me

parks and rec and the good place share a spot bc i watch them on repeat near constantly

criminal minds (i finished it this year and got hatecrimed by reid x jj)

the witcher (technically i started watching it last year w a group of people but then a few weeks later i found out they had finished it w/o me so i watched it later)

i mean. tiger king. i wish i could watch it for the first time again.

songs i listened to

heart of glass (cover) by miley cyrus

4 morant by doja cat (unreleases, on soundcloud/yt only :/)

superbloom by ashton irwin (the whole album. like it dominated by spotify wrapped and it only existed for like a week while they were collecting data)

danke schoen (the first one from the parade in ferris buellers day off)

i cant think of another song bc my brain is stuck on danke schoen now but id just like to give a shoutout to my discover weekly and to kj for consistenly recommending me good music that i like

books i read

i actually managed to read some non-fanfiction books this year so here they are !

brave new world by adolus huxley (fun fact i "read" this with the audiobook and i had to stop bc its ... a lot. like dense made up words. too long, just in general. anyways i only give this a 4/10 but i did finally finish it. so.)

13 minutes by sarah pinborough (ya thriller; im obsessed; 11/10 def reccomend)

the female of the species by mindy mcginnis (another ya "thriller;" beginning and middle way more interesting than end; 6/10, read it if u like being disappointed)

hollow by rhonda parrish (a ya thriller/supernatural mystery; huge rape tw; 5/10, interesting concept but the execution was weird and the end wasnt satisfying)

ive run out of books that ive read. oh dear. i bought the goldfinch at a used bookstore and ive seen the movie so that counts, right? (it doesnt. 10/10 gay as hell)

good things that happened to me

i got a pay raise and position change at work and i dont dread work as much anymore !

i have learned how to make space for myself and not say yes to everything all the time

ive made so many lovely friends here on tumblr ! if u dont think im talking about u i am <3

i got the strawberry milkshake cow pillow pet <3<3

i used my planner for most of the year, i didnt completly abandon it the second my classes were over

thank u mel <3

i am tagging @5sosofficial @elliotjonesss @wrappeditmyslf @1-800-klaushargreeves @soccer-kate-22 @drybranmuffin @lirry @triangleankle and anyone that wants to/hasnt done this yet ! <3

#dont mind me #tag game #thank u mel this was fun ! also im calling u a nerd #for ur book choices but also thats so u its cute ily #calls u nerd in an endearing way #nerd (affectionate)

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shidoukanae · 4 years

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YGO! Questionnaire

Tagged by @cipher-wise

Favorite series:

My favorite series based on what I watched and enjoyed would have to be Arc-V!!! It's honestly the series that got me to adore YGO when previously I'd seen YGO as, and I chilidishly quote, "uncool". Everything about Arc-V is pretty much wonderful: Yuya's presence as a "everyone MUST be happy" kind of character in a plot that discusses themes of war, revenge, and despair is absolutely refreshing (especially when Yuya's ideals of happiness are stripped from him and made a mockery of by, *coughs* one of my favorite characters in the franchise *coughs*).

I love how the four Yuu boys are a wonderful combination of "protagonists" (/anatagonists) and how they each play off of each other's weaknesses and strengths, often acting as mirrors to each other in their individual dimensions while having amazing interactions (Yugo and Yuri, anyone? Yuri and Yuya?).

I admire how the endgame plot is a perversion of Yuya's ideals: he gets what he wants, showering happiness upon all, but that "happiness" is corrupted into the notion of entertainment. While Yuya seeks to provide people with smiles and laughter, to give them hope to work together through tough times and to stay strong in the face of adversity, his "counterparts" in the endgame are really good at acting as Yuya's mirror: showing that his style of performing can also be used to appease the bloodthirst of one's own self and that happiness can be corrupted into self-deserving power.

...Hard to put that into exact words without spoiling a lot of things but, gosh, let's just say that Yuri and ____ are the perfect mirrors to Yuya in terms of what his entertainment dueling style is meant to be.

The plot over all is pretty good! I won't lie and say it stands strong all the way throughout the story but the first half is amazing and there are some pretty strong episodes in the second half (Yugo and Rin, the parasite episodes in general, Yuri Yuri YURI). I can definitely say that the humor is there, the characters are amazing (if nothing else, watch for the Yuu Boys, the Bracelet Gals, and Shun versus Sora!!) and having come into the show around episode 104, I was pleasantly surprised by the trip Arc-V brought me and how it played with its protagonist, giving him hope, kicking him down, and toying with his mind - just like the way a warzone might to any idealistic individual.

In terms of other series, I like VRAINS but only up to like episode 19 (or the end of the Data Bank arc). It had potential and I kept hoping it would get better but the plot was constantly floundering, there are plot holes abundant (sewer monsters, ugh), character development is inconsistent not to mention very shallow, VRAINS has some of the best side characters but they're kicked to the curb by a bland protagonist and a villain that could've been so much cooler but they made him a sympathetic mess.

...I have a lot of gripes with VRAINS but, if it were to ever be rewritten with clear goalposts and plot twists in mind (not to mention development on ideas like Charisma Duelists because at the end of the show I still have not a fucking clue what a Charisma Duelists is or was) I would say it has potential to become my favorite series but Arc-V clearly beats it for me in every category lmao.

Zexal’s also really good too!!! I don’t get all the hate behind it because it’s actually really interesting and engaging (also IV’s definition of fanservice is literally the only type of fanservice I will ever accept) and I think I’ve even cried a couple of times during the course of the plot which is like,,, shocking considering it’s not a show I thought I’d cry over (I cried in Arc-V too but goddamn does tiny Yuya just want to make you tear up lmao). This show is really good emotionally and it’s literally so stupid how Kaito carries a lot of the early and middle game of the show yet most of the meat of the plot doesn’t begin to unravel until the second season.

Also, if you ever want to watch a show of 100+ episodes that is so masterfully written that there is foreshadowing for stuff in like episode 130+ on EPISODE ONE, please watch this. Literally there are so many hints of what is going to happen in the future in the early episodes and you won’t really be able to tell what those hints are until you’ve finished the show but goddamn when you go back and rewatch things it does indeed feel amazing how much foreshadowing they threaded into the show without you ever knowing...(please don’t search for spoilers if you intend to watch this. I went into the show knowing some spoilers tho not all and, while I was still pleased by what I watched, I honestly can agree the show is A Lot Better without knowing ANYTHING)

Favorite Protagonist: Yuya. For sure, out of all the series, Yuya.

He’s a refreshing protagonist, especially considering he shines in a world of war and despair. He’s also someone who you empathize with right at the start and want to hope in, especially since he is the “happiness” in a word of “madness” and “sorrow”. He’s not someone out to save the world (not really, anyways), but his actions touch on the lives of others anyways, giving people in a hope in a world that is otherwise cruel and heartless. Also, it really helps that he’s able to pull you into his world of “egaos”, making you believe in him and root for him despite how cheesy his ideals may or may not sound.

Also love how, despite being the centerpiece of “happiness”, Yuya isn’t allowed to always be happy :> Not spoiling plot related things but if you like protagonists going off the rails insane at times, Yuya’s definitely a fun protagonist for that!!!

Favorite Rival:

Kaito Tenjou!!! Literally the best rival in the series that I’ve seen. Everything about him is literally perfect ngl. From the way he’s chillingly introduced, with the spine-tingling whistles and cruel, almost merciless nature, to the way he slowly becomes sympathetic while also remaining a terrifying presence whenever he appears...I love him????

Favorite BFF:

Does Shoichi count? Because like...he’s Yusaku’s closest friend and ally in the series and I generally don’t pay attention to the other BFF’s in the other series (or at least, the ones I can recall bc I know in Zexal that Yuma has a whole group of friends lmao).

But I like Shoichi!! He cares about Yusaku a lot, is pretty damn cool as a sidekick hacker, his sideplot with his brother was actually honestly endearing and I loved the mystery about him. His early-game jokes w/ Ai to tease Yusaku were also a good laugh.

Favorite GFF:

Not a girl friend forever for the main protagonist (although she like...lowkey confessed to him...though that plot really never went anywhere so I still don’t know what the fuck THAT was about) but,,, Ema Bessho,,

If y’all knew me back in my peak YGO days when VRAINS was airing,,, this gal was and STILL is my favorite girl of the YGO series. Even though she was pretty much done dirty imo I still love her (even despite considering she’s been made a damsel-in-distress at least three times, she’s only ever won one duel on-screen despite being supposedly good at dueling, ngl they could’ve done so much more with her but tbh she’s mostly just an asset to solve problems at whim and barely gets character development/does nothing but watch and spectate stuff late-game).

Even though she’s like...the unfortunate side character who’s probably meant to be more fanservice than interesting, in the first 19 episodes (and even the Revolver vs. her fight as well as the one time she meets Aoi IRL early-game) made her out to be a lot cooler and complex than she ended up being. I mean,,, a hacker gal who’s self-serving, cynical, and cold-hearted taking on the tasks of her (potentially ex) boyfriend while being really nice to his sister to the point she baffles even herself,,, we could’ve had a really unique and cool character to play around with here but instead we got...cool-ass character with potential to be something more reduced to a spectator with nothing better to do than idolize the main protagonist and have a plot with her brother that honestly detracted from her character more than it added to it imo.

Also Ema could’ve been a female Yuri but,,, nope,,, they decided she was better as a background piece instead TwT

Favorite Villain: Yuri.

Literally Yuri.

I could choose the leather jacket w/ fluff boi in a certain series because hot damn was that guy convincing AF that he wasn’t an evil psychopath (and even while knowing that he was, I still got fooled into thinking he was a good guy somehow omg) however,,, I’ve always held a love for Yuri and the way he’s been portrayed.

Despite ALWAYS being the bad guy, the show has always made this purple fucker into the most entertaining character on-screen. He even beats Yuya sometimes in terms of how entertaining he is - that’s literally how good he is,,

Also his facial expressions are amazing, he’s a VERY VALID threat to the main cast (and his creeper levels are not only off the charts but literally called out by the main female protagonist herself lmao), and he acts as the perfect foil to Yuya, battling not to entertain others but to entertain himself.

Also, he likes killing people.

No this is not a joke.

He literally likes killing people. And is pretty sadistic about it, too.

(^^^^ for those who don’t get the joke, “Fusion” is pronounced “Yuugo” which sounds similar to “Yugo” which is what,,, Yuri is making fun of,,, more context is needed of course but this is a Great Running Gag)

Favorite card:

I don’t know if it actually exists as an actual card but...that crystal dragon from the YGO movie with the glass pyramid. Blue-Eyes Shining Dragon...it’s really pretty...I love it...

Favorite Episode:

I’m...too lazy to search for names of these episodes but I can give brief summaries of them,,, because I can’t choose,,,

Arc-V: Shun vs. Sora (ALL episodes). Hot damn if you have never watched YGO but want to try and see for yourself why people like it: WATCH THESE EPISODES. I can’t explain how amazing these episodes are and, while I admit jumping straight into them might have you missing out on some important context (such as who Shun is or why Sora’s battle tactics lead to revelation) it’s honestly an amazing fight regardless. The battle starts off plain enough - there’s obvious tension, it seems like a typical fight of a battle royale, etc. - my god does the battle ramp up in emotional tension and promptly kick you in the gut with not only how blindsided you’ve been, but it also showcases just how cruel these “entertainment duels” can really get.

Any episode with Yuri. Literally any episode he’s in.

I think this is like...episode 8 of VRAINS...but whenever it is that Akira hires Ema to find the reason why Aoi just...straight up got knocked into a coma. Literally this is my favorite episode when it comes to Ema. The way she makes fun of Akira even while aware of his situation,,, her cruel selfishness and desire for money bubbling to the surface, the way she confesses how she can’t be trusted willingly and still asks Akira why he’s hiring her,,, god I love this episode in terms of what Ema could’ve always been.

Episode 13 (/14?) of Zexal!!! This is the episode Kaito appears and when the show REALLY picks up. Kaito is a fun bastard of a rival and tbh I don’t think I’ll ever stop getting chills of him walking in, debris frozen in time all around him, as he approaches his victim, whistling an eerie children’s tune as he gets ready to close in for the kill,,,,

Favorite Deck to Use:

I don’t...really play the game itself but...I have used a couple of decks and I guess you can say I really love Raid Raptors??? First of all, those warbirds make really fun sounds I love ‘em in the anime but they’re also just fun to use in general (even tho I used a,,, very basic deck for them,,, I love them still).

Fusion, Ritual, Synchro, XYZ, Pendulum or Link:

XYZ bc it’s really the only summoning method I’m used to lol :P. Also XYZ loyalist I guess????

Years in fandom: roughly five to six years iirc? I mean, I was a fan of the early day YGO and watched it as a kid but not active enough to be in the fandom for it lmao. Also not in the fandom atm because Sevens lost my attention (it’s a good show!!! I’m just unfortunately more a fan of things with serious plots and darker themes and it’s hard for me to stomach slice-of-life shows that don’t focus on a mature and engaging plot). However, Arc-V and Zexal holds a special place in my heart (as does VRAINS, begrudgingly) and so I occasionally find myself wandering back to these shows like right now,,,

#yugioh #Arc-v #Zexal #honestly Arc-V feels like the type of show beginners should watch if they want to get into YGO #granted it might take all the way up until Yuto and Shun to get into the show #but once you hit Shun versus Sora oh my god does the slowburn really feel worth it #it will also probably surprise no one that I have several OC's based on who Ema Bessho could've been and despite how much I hate how she's-#been written in canon I've taken ideas I've had for how she could be better written and slapped them onto characters for my own story uwu

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nonbinaryhatboxghost · 3 years

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Okay, today has been a quiet Saturday morning so far, I have some time, and I like lists. So here is my random (personal) ranking of Star Trek series and movies, out of what I’ve seen, which is everything but seasons 5-7 of Voyager, all of Enterprise, and all of Picard. I’m only counting shows with three or more seasons because it’s easier. But let the record show that I love Lower Decks so far and The Animated Series is actually a blast.

SPOILERS THROUGHOUT

Series Ranking

The Original Series - As influential of a show as it is, I constantly forget how much damn fun the original Trek is. There is an almost Community-like variance in tone and genre throughout the show. And I’m a sucker for a future that embraces primary colors. It is the Trek show I revisit the most so far, and it remains my favorite.

Deep Space Nine - This one comes close, though. It starts out as a solid spinoff with very well-defined characters, and then becomes a big, sprawling epic that had my eyes welling up by the end. It feels more like a sequel to The Original Series than The Next Generation did to me. It dealt with subject matter both different and darker than was expected for the time. It had characters at odds with each other. Religion was explored in a way that balanced brutal honesty with genuine respect. War and the various traumas it induces were acknowledged. And it had “Take Me Out to the Holosuite”. I only finished this one recently but I look forward to watching it again.

Discovery - I was rooting for this show to be good even as it went through so much behind-the-scenes drama during its first two seasons. Even with all of that going on, the show became a fascinating watch as you saw it change from its arguably-too-dark beginnings as a prequel, to the almost Doctor Who-like second season with its joyful embracing of classic Trek, and finally to its current iteration that at long last gives us a Trek show that’s not bound by prequel limitations. Michael Burnham is such a great character and getting to see her arc alone makes this one of my favorite Trek stories. The queer/nonbinary representation also warms my heart.

Voyager - I’m just starting the fifth season, but the show has settled into an interesting groove with its characters. And Voyager’s characters are so damn good that they counterbalance a lot of the show’s early problems. It takes a while for Voyager to realize that the Kazon do not work very well as villains. But once the show realizes that, it begins an upward trajectory in quality that reminds me of Deep Space Nine after it began doing Dominion plots. And Seven of Nine’s effect on the crew dynamic lives up to the hype. Any scene between her and Janeway demonstrates such a unique relationship between captain and crewmate that an episode plot can be meh and still worth it for a scene with those two. Also, Janeway is the best captain character. No other Trek show (that I’ve seen so far) comes close to showing us the weight of leadership like Voyager, and Mulgrew constantly brings it.

The Next Generation - This is my first Trek show. It’s the one that my dad watched. There are several standout episodes to me, but I find myself less drawn to revisiting TNG than the other Trek shows because ultimately it took me too long to understand and care about its cast of characters. If you were to ask me to describe any character from any other Trek show, I would be able to. Ask me to describe a TNG character and I would likely fail to give any good adjectives for any character besides Data and Worf. As iconic as the show is, and as great as it became, it doesn’t have the same pull on me as other Trek shows. But it was the template for the spinoffs that followed, and the portrayal of Picard’s trauma post-Borg assimilation earns its reputation as an all-timer for me.

Movie Ranking

VI: The Undiscovered Country - I’m surprised this one isn’t talked about as much as other Trek movies. It’s a very frank depiction of prejudices and learning to deal with them. It has one of the best Kirk/Spock scenes ever. Christopher Plummer as a Klingon. The ORIGINAL cast credits sign-off (yes, Avengers: Endgame borrowed from this). A score that carefully balances menace with eventual hope. A fun whodunit structure. I could go on and on. It’s just so damn great, and so far the only successful send-off to a Trek crew in any of the movies.

II: The Wrath of Khan - It’s a classic for a reason. I’ve probably rewatched this more than any other Trek movie. You got your great villain, your classic crew beginning to deal with their mortality, an all-timer death scene, a kickass early James Horner score. What more could you want?

The Motion Picture - This is an interesting one. When I first watched it as a teen, I hated it. I agreed with every critique of it being thinly plotted and having an excessive runtime. When I revisited it in my 20s, it became a favorite. It’s Star Trek’s exploration of existential dread, and the struggle to find agency and identity within that dread. It has possibly Jerry Goldsmith’s greatest score. It is the best that the Enterprise has ever looked. This movie envelopes you with eerie and epic imagery, culminating in a finale with interesting philosophical ramifications and a well-earned return to optimism from its crew. This one is criminally underrated.

First Contact - This one is just rock solid all around. The best-ever TNG villains, further exploration of Picard’s trauma from Borg assimilation, Alfre Woodard, Alice Krige, fun action, the genesis of the Federation. It has the best balance of darkness and fun out of all of the Trek movies. It also has a character actually say the words “star trek” in a way that never ceases to make me smile. I don’t know if it’s a good line, but it’s funny regardless.

Beyond - Like The Motion Picture, I initially disliked this upon first viewing. I was still in the middle of watching The Original Series and was in the wrong mindset for this mashup of TOS and Fast & Furious. But it’s one of the most underrated Treks because it’s a perfect balance of the more kinetic action found in the 2010s with a very well-done breakdown of the inherent point and value of Star Trek: learning to be better and move beyond fighting the same battles among ourselves.

IV: The Voyage Home - This one is such a satisfying culmination of the crew’s arc starting in The Wrath of Khan that the joy of the 1980s material is almost just a bonus to me. Nimoy does a good job of keeping things light without disregarding stakes. He gets the best portrayal of the crew’s camaraderie in this and The Search for Spock. And Spock’s reaction to the concept of “exact change” always makes me laugh.

III: The Search for Spock - I revisited this one recently and it held up better than I expected. Seeing the weight of Spock’s death on Kirk in the beginning hits hard. Christopher Lloyd as the Klingon villain is casually one of the best Trek movie villains. And seeing the crew uniting over trying to bring back Spock gives us some of the best on-screen moments of this cast.

Star Trek - One of the reasons I love Beyond so much is that it retroactively makes this one better. I was crazy for this movie when it came out. I was in high school, Star Trek in general was something I was only really aware of because of my dad. But this is the thing that got me into Trek. And as mixed of a bag as it now plays to me, ‘09 Star Trek being a gateway for me to general Trek, combined with the perfect casting of the crew, the excellent Giacchino score, and the emotion of the opening sequence, thankfully makes this one still a blast to revisit.

Nemesis - I have only seen this twice, and both of those times without having seen TNG in its entirety. This was also the very first Trek movie I ever saw. Nostalgia is a factor for why this is higher than the others on the list. Curiosity is another, as I was unaware of Tom Hardy when I watched this, and have no idea what my opinion will be on rewatch. But what I always remembered of this movie was its ending, which even to a novice like myself when I first saw it had an impact.

Generations - There are quite a few great scenes that Stewart gets in this movie. Malcolm McDowell is also great in it. But the whole plot feels too forced for me to get actually swept up in it. And as fun as it is to see Shatner and Stewart share the screen... it ultimately has no impact and leads to a strangely lame death for Kirk.

Insurrection - The idea of Enterprise going rogue against the Federation for forcibly relocating a population for a natural resource is such a good concept... which makes the goofiness and half-baked writing of this entry all the more confusing. All the elements are there, but it feels like the tone was forced to be lighter than the material warranted. It’s frustrating because Frakes’ directing chops that he showed off on First Contact are still visible here. But for whatever reason, this one just falls apart.

Into Darkness - This one is low on the list mainly because it represents almost all the negative traits of the modern blockbuster to me. Darkness without depth, franchise callbacks without substance, and no character development/change by the end. Another reason why Beyond works better as a sequel to ‘09 Star Trek than this one is that Into Darkness feels more like it’s trying to make Star Trek a bigger movie franchise rather than develop this iteration of the Enterprise crew. Nothing and no one is changed by the end of this story.

V: The Final Frontier - It is the most difficult Trek movie to sit through, and yet I can’t call it a disaster. For all of its misfirings on the comedy front (dancing Uhura, for instance), the camping material with Kirk, Spock and McCoy is genuinely great. The premise of its villain being on a quest to find God is ultimately a misfire, but it leads to a very engagingly ridiculous climax centered around the question “What does God need with a starship?” There are far too many undeveloped ideas in this one, but that scene is worth seeing this movie for. At least, now that we know it didn’t kill the franchise, as so many apparently feared when this came out.

#star trek #kyle rants

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ashisbaeee · 4 years

Text

Her Part 11

a/n: hello lovelies, my goodness, it has been forever since I’ve last been on here and more importantly since updated this series. thank you all so much for being so understanding and patient for my absence, I greatly appreciate it.

here is the long awaited part 11, I truly hope you all enjoy it and that it was worth the wait.💗as always, your feedback is greatly appreciated, I love hearing what you guys think of the chapter.

sorry for any errors

word count: 4.1k(eek!)

italics are Y/N’s thoughts

for those who are interested, I will have the previous parts here:

1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10

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Shock, disbelief coursed through you, completely taking over your frame. What was once your cozy home became uncomfortable, wishing you were still out, albeit your feet were killing you, anywhere else than your quiet home and away from him. You could feel his eyes on you, but you dared not look. You had glued your eyes to the ground; wishing this was some terrible dream. You didn’t need this, not right now. If you were being frank, this was possibly the worst time as he will eventually take in your full appearance, your bump in full display. You never wanted to see his face now and certainly not ever. This wouldn’t be good for you, and ultimately, this wouldn’t be good for the baby. Stood right smack in the middle was the last person on earth you prayed you’d never see again. Shock and anger coursed through you. You could feel your heart racing, your breathing was becoming erratic. You noticed your quickened heartbeat; you could feel it pulsing in your carotid arteries, you were beginning to get a massive migraine and you were becoming a bit nauseous. The room started to spin, it was as if you were back in your first trimester of pregnancy again.

Quick, let me find a garbage can in the event I hurl my guts out.

You pushed that thought to the back of your mind as you took in the man that broke your heart invading your home. And how your sister let him in?! She must have been out of her damn mind. No good was to come out of this. But that was a discussion for a later time.

What is he doing here?! You exclaimed.

“Please Y/N, let me explain” your sister pleads.

“Then get to it” you spoke, your patience gone the moment you stepped foot into your home.

“I saw him while I was at the grocery store. Actually, he saw me and approached me.”

“That doesn’t explain as to how he got here. Meeting at the grocery store doesn’t lead into coming into my home” you interjected.

“I’m getting to that part, so please, just listen” she spoke, while he stood silent a few feet from the both of you.

“He came up to me and asked me how you were doing. Before I could even respond, he said he had seen you with me. He knew that we were both around the area as he had seen pictures of us”

“Pictures from where?!”you interrupted yet again, but you didn’t care.

“Uh, a fan had sent them to me” finally, the man had broken his silence.

Your head snapped so quickly you were surprised it didn’t crack or something possibly worse.

“What??!! A fan?! A fan! How on earth did they even get a picture? Explain”

“A fan had seen you a couple times, or at least that’s what she told me. She sent the pictures-- err- she sent me DMs of you both via Instagram, and this isn’t the first time she has DMed me. One day, as I quickly scrolled passed through my DMs, your name caught my eye. Without thinking, I clicked on the message and that was when I saw your pictures, it was a picture of you smiling. I thought it was a joke, some skilled photoshop or something. My curiosity got the best of me and I couldn’t bear the unknown and the ‘what ifs’ and I was driving myself lad so I think a couple of days later, I sent her a message asking where she saw you. Which brings us to where we are now”

“So she freely sent you the town I’m at?!”

“Well, uhm, yeah. Uh. Yes, she did. Please, calm down”

“I can’t calm down” your voice rising.

“I don’t get why you’re so angry”

Oh hell no. He did not just say that.

“Angry? Want to know why I’m so angry? It’s because what she did was an invasion of privacy?”

“You know, out of all the people in this room, I should be the one that’s angry. Angry that you left me without a trace. How you deliberately went to all extents to erase yourself from the world. You went completely ghost on me. You went to great lengths to make sure that I would never be able to find you ever again. Do you know how sick and worried I was? I didn’t know if you were okay and there was no way for me to find out. God forbid something happened to you. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself. Knowing or not knowing if you were okay or not killed me. So yeah, I am angry, and understandably so” his voice matching yours.

“When did you feel that? When did all those emotions hit you? Huh? Please, enlighten me. Right after I did everything I could to ensure you would never find me again? Don’t act like you cared since the beginning. Clearly you did not care that day when you and the group realized a whole while later that you had left me at the Jimmy Kimmel studio. I get that you were so excited for the movie, trust me, I understand but it really seemed like the movie mattered more than me. Not to sound jealous or anything. But really, I felt like I was invisible and in my opinion, it seemed like a total waste of time and money flying out to you, and that day was a total wake up call; I got your message, loud and clear. A part of me thinks that maybe you’ve never really cared for me, uh, but only you know that answer. But it seems like you have a lot to say, so by all means, Tom, please, entertain me, since I clearly don’t have anything else better to do” the sarcasm clearly evident in your tone. “You were so preoccupied with the movie and talking about the love scenes and all the places you were all about to visit, how it was working alongside Jake Gyllenhaal, that of course you’d forget me. It was as if I was never there, I felt invisible. Like I was an afterthought, it was stupid of me to think that I mattered to you. I regret flying out to see you, that is time and money I can’t take back”

“Oh stop that, don’t be dumb” he says exasperatedly.

Just as you were about to reply, you stopped in your tracks. Your pent up anger greatly affecting you and ultimately the baby too, all of your emotions consuming your entire being that you felt sharp pains running at your side. It was as if someone had ran up to you and stabbed you in your ribs. You kneel to the ground clutching the right side of your body as you hunch over in pain. Your sister notices your sudden moves and rushes to your side, she tries to calm you down, and tells you to do some deep breathing exercises but you can’t, the pain was too unbearable.

You ended up changing positions and curled yourself into a fetal position as you clutched your side. You were in agony, the pain was so excruciating that you started crying. Panic courses to all three of you. Seeing you in this state killed him. If there was one thing he hated, it was seeing you in pain and upset; and here you were, feeling both. Something was definitely wrong. He and your sister decided to take you to the hospital. He offers to drive while your sister tries to help you calm down and relax. Instinctively, he scoops you up from where you were and carried you bridal style; he carries you into the backseat of the car and buckles you up. While waiting for your sister, he quickly typed the nearest hospital address in his phone GPS, and in a matter of seconds, he got the car up and running and began his route.

You could feel yourself profusely sweating. Your body was shaking uncontrollably, assuming that you were becoming hypothermic because of this added stress, your body’s defense mechanism in complete overdrive. Your heart was racing, as you put your index and middle finger in the inner aspect of your wrist, just below your left thumb, you felt the pulsations. Your pulse was bounding, you couldn’t even count your heartbeat, it was just beating erratically.

It must be somewhere in the 150s or higher. Who knows. Baby, I hope you’re alright in there. We are on our way to the hospital. I truly hope and pray that you’re not in any distress, I just don’t want anything bad to happen to you, I don’t know what I’d do if I find out you aren’t okay. I can’t bear the thought of possibly losing you. God knows what I would do if I find out you aren’t okay. Please, baby, mommy’s begging you, please be okay, for You thought to yourself, as a few tears fell, ultimately landing on your sweater.

It felt like forever, but you finally arrived at the hospital. Tom pulled into the entrance to the Emergency Department and quickly ran in to get help. Within minutes you saw 3 people running towards the car with a stretcher. They assisted you into the stretcher safely and brought you in, Tom rushing alongside you all, matching the strides of the hospital staff and your sister in tow. Immediately you were brought into your room and you were hooked up to the monitors. More staff came in to get an IV line inserted as well get blood and urine samples for routine testing. They took off the sweater you were wearing and quickly put on a hospital gown. They realized you were expecting, so they planned to get the OB resident involved in your case.

Everything and everyone was moving rather quickly, you began to feel dizzy again. Without warning, you started to vomit. Your fight or flight instincts kicking into maximum overdrive, your body’s internal homeostasis all out of whack. You assume that this was your body’s weird way of dealing with this distress.

If there was one thing you got from this pregnancy, it was that stress plus your body was not a good mix. You got extremely ill whenever your body’s homeostasis was out of the norm. Your body’s way of dealing with the stress/situation at hand.

In the midst of your body retching, getting rid of all the contents of your stomach, you happened to muster up enough energy to look up at the monitor. Heart rate 198, Blood pressure 180/120. Holy shit. One of the nurses had hooked up an external fetal monitor to your bump; the alarms were going off as soon as it turned on, as per the monitor, your baby’s heart rate was 175. That was out of the norm; normal fetal heart rate is 120-160. How you were still awake and conscious and aware of your surroundings was beyond you. A person with those vital signs usually pass out, goes into cardiac arrest or have a stroke. They were then immediately intubated, had a foley catheter and had a central line inserted instead of just a peripheral line and whisked into the critical care unit. It was almost shocking that you hadn’t passed out or lose consciousness. You’ve seen it happen countless times, I guess you were one of the rare cases.

You end up passing out. While you are unconscious, he meets up with your sister and the doctors, your sister informed him that she got in contact with your parents and that they were on their way.

The doctors waited for your parents to arrive before leading you all into a private room to talk about their plan once all the test results come in. After discussing your plan of care, they brought him into your room, and that, at that moment, was when he took in your appearance. That was when he saw your bump, you’re pregnant.

Had it really been that long since he last saw you? So many thoughts ran rampant in his mind. Who was the baby’s father? Will he be coming to meet up with your family? Will he sit beside you and wait until you woke up? His consuming thoughts elicited the pain he worked so hard to suppress. The love of his life was having a baby with someone that was not him. His lifelong dream to marry you and start a family with was shattered; now becoming his worst nightmare. In just a short time, he would come face to face with the lucky man who now has you.

After some time, you wake up. Your family rushed to your side and held you tightly, relieved that you regained consciousness. He stood in the back of the room and watched the moment.

You were consumed with talking with your parents that you didn’t realize he left the room. He leaves and heads to the nurse’s station to alert them that you’ve woken up.

He comes in to let your parents know that your nurse was paging the residents to let them know you were awake. As he spoke, he dared not look at your direction. He maintained eye contact with your parents. As you lie in bed, you took in his image. Never in a million years did you think you would bump into him again. After all this time, he managed to stay the same. The same lanky, curly headed fool that you were once in love with. You could see the look on his face; the look of heartbrokenness, mixed with him being a little more pale than usual. He looked so hurt, so empty. Every single one of your family members felt it too. They knew that it wasn’t their business, but just like everyone else(everyone that mattered), they loved and shipped the idea of you both, and seeing the two of you apart and so broken, broke them too.

He whispered something to them and left your room.

It had been quite some time and he still had not returned to your room. Worried, you send your sister to look for him, or at least see if he was okay, or if he had left(again), without saying goodbye.

She obliges to your wish and leaves your room. About 100 feet from your room, she sees his frame in one of the chairs. He sat in one of the chairs in the hospital waiting room, his hands brought up to his face. As your sister made her way to the seat beside him, she rested her hand on his shoulder. Shocked at the action, he looks up. With flushed cheeks and red eyes, he locked eyes with hers. She couldn’t help it, it wasn’t long before she started crying too.

“How is she doing?”

“She seems okay, she’s talking to mom and dad right now. She was wondering where you went, so she sent me to find you. Are you going to go back?”

“N-no, I don’t think so. I don’t think that’ll be good for her. I think it is best that I leave, please send her my regards and well wishes; also, please tell her I send my congratulations, she’s going to be such an amazing mother. I’ve never doubted that, not in the slightest bit. She was always so good with kids” his voice quivered, the agony clearly evident.

“I know it’s hard, but please. Just go in, I’m sure she would like to see you and thank you for taking her here. What do you have to lose?”

He sat silent, contemplating his decisions.

What does he have to lose?

“Okay, I’ll go in”

Content with his answer, she nods her head.

“Y/S/N, can I ask you something? Is, is, she still angry? Is she still upset about what happened? I want to explain myself, but I don’t know if that will do more harm than good. Things clearly did not go as I had hoped it would earlier today, I mean come on, look where it landed us- I mean her, and her baby. I don’t want to stress her out any more. She doesn’t need that, she needs to focus on getting better, for herself and the baby. I am afraid to ask her, but what is she having? A boy or girl?”

“I don’t know, really. I don’t, I, I uh haven’t asked her. I feel like it’s none of my business, y’know? Like I don’t want to bring it up and upset her or something. Try and see if she’s willing to listen, you honestly never know unless you ask and try again. Anyways, she’s having a girl. We are all so excited. I swear, the baby isn’t born yet but she’s already so spoiled. I can’t even imagine how it’ll be when she’s actually here”

“Uhm, yeah, maybe I’ll ask her. I’m going to take it one step at a time”

She gets up from her seat and waits for him. It wasn’t long before they arrived back into your room.

She enters first and takes her seat right by your parents. He shuts the door and stands in his original spot.

You knew you needed to have a conversation with him, to continue with the conversation you both had before coming to the ED.

Your whole family sensed some kind of tension in the air. They figured you both needed to have this conversation, even though both parties were hesitant.

Your parents tell you that they were going to grab some dinner and needed your sister to come along with them, making up an excuse really, so that you and him were left with no choice but to talk. It was a long time coming. Well needed too.

The three of them left, leaving you and him. You could feel the awkwardness in the air.

You figured he was going to leave.

“Do-do you want me to keep you company until they return?” he finally spoke

“Uh, it’s up to you. You can leave if you want. I’ll be okay, I’m hooked to the monitors, so the doctors and nurses on the unit can keep an eye out on me. If anything happens, they have everyone’s numbers, so they’ll get in contact with them. You must be exhausted”

“Actually, I’m okay. But if you want me to leave so you can rest, I can. Maybe I’ll stop by tomorrow, if you want me to”

“I’m actually okay too. If you want to come by again tomorrow, you can. Uh, I. Uh, I, I just want to say thank you. Y’know, for taking me here”

“Y-yeah, of-of course. I’m sorry; for what I said earlier. You’re not dumb, not in the slightest”

“I’m sorry too”

“Can we talk?”

“I thought that was what we were doing?”

“I mean, like talk, talk”

“About?”

“Us. About everything”

You remained silent.

He took this opportunity to explain himself. When else was he going to have the chance to do so?

Your sister’s words replaying in his head.

“I know there are no sorries in this world can truly express how terrible I feel about what happened and what I did. I’m sorry it took me getting to the hotel to realize your absence. I’m sorry I didn’t come back sooner. Sorry that I didn’t try hard enough to find you. How I’ve let you in an unknown place by yourself. Because of what I did I missed out on what was the biggest day of your life. I would have loved to have been there on your graduation day, cheering for you from the stands because I am so unbelievably proud of you. All of your hard work, blood, sweat and tears paid off. If I could go back in time and change everything, I would. I would do so in a heartbeat, because that shouldn’t have happened” he sobs.

Tears pool in your eyes as well. This was a long time coming. As much as you hated the idea, it needed to be done, for both your sakes.

“I can never blame you. That, this, is your career. This is what you’re meant to do in this life. This is your calling. Who am I to ever take that away from you? You worked so tirelessly and so hard to get to where you are now. You are so passionate in everything that you do, and that movie was no different. It definitely showed, it was a really good movie. Look, it’s in the past now, I’ve moved on. I’ve accepted it, and I’m okay.. And I think you should stop beating yourself up for what happened and carry on. Don’t be too hard on yourself” you spoke, your voice barely a whisper.

“I can’t. I just can’t” he whimpered.

Silence.

“So Y/S/N told me you’re having a baby girl. Congratulations. You are going to be such an incredible mom, I’ve seen you with kids, you are such a natural... Did you find a name for her yet?”

“Uh, thank you, yes I did. Her name is Arielle Rose”

“That such a lovely name, darling”

Darling. His favorite term of endearment for you.

“Uh, I’m sorry. It just slipped” he says, trying to save himself from the uncomfortableness.

Oh how you’ve missed that name.

“uhm, thanks”

Great, now things are awkward again. Ugh.

“So, is your boyfriend on his way?”

“What boyfriend?”

“The baby’s father, is he on his way?”

“No. He doesn’t exist”

“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t know”

“It’s fine. Yeah no, he will not be a part of her life. I know she’ll probably ask when she is older, but we will cross that mountain when the time comes”

“I know it’s none of my business, but did something happen?”

“Just as you said, it is none of your business; but we just didn’t work out, that’s all”

Y/N, tell him the truth. He deserves to know. He has the right to know, he is the father. Even though things fell apart between you both, you need to not be selfish and not rob her of her father and his amazing family.

“I’m sorry”

“Yeah”

Just as you were about to speak, a knock caught both your attentions.

The OB doctor as well as your nurse came in. They told you that you were going to be admitted for the night for observation. They asked if you needed anything else from them before they left, shaking your head and reminded you for like the hundredth time that night that if you needed anything to press the red button in the remote and a staff would be in to assist you.

You thanked them as they proceeded out the door.

“So how far along are you?”

“6 months” “Did you have your gender reveal or baby shower yet?”

“My sister and I are actually planning my gender reveal. My parents don’t know. We are supposed to have it in about 2 weeks”

“Oh that sounds great, how are you revealing?”

“With pink balloons inside of a huge white box, after the countdown, we will untie the strings and the top of the box will open, revealing and releasing the balloons. The color theme is pink, blue and white, we are planning to have different things and foods that are pink and blue to see which one each guest thinks I am having and games where people can guess what I’m having”

“That sounds like so much fun”

“Yeah, it does. I can’t wait. In a way, I just want it to be over, this was beyond stressful trying to plan. I think I need to make a mental note of this for her first birthday party” you let out a small laugh.

He locks eyes with you and smiles.

He saw how tired you looked, and opted to pause the conversation, you needed to rest. Pleased with how your conversation went. He still had some questions, but decided that he will defer them to a later time.

He shut the light off and told you to take it easy. He told you that he would stay with you until your family came back. He greeted you goodnight and tucked you in.

You thanked him once again and began to drift off.

You woke up in the middle of the night and saw him asleep beside you. He rested his head at the foot of your bed. You were surprised to see him, you thought he would be long gone, assuming that your sister or your mom was going to spend the night with you.

The exhaustion clearly taking its full effect on your body, your eyes barely staying open, even in just that mere moment. You pulled your blanket up to your neck as you rested your head back on your pillow, welcoming your slumber again.

G’night, Tom.

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series taglist: @hollandroos @roses-hxlland @parkeret @sleepybesson @moonlightom @blueeyedbesson @unholyholland @lemondropirwin @delicately-important-trash @let-me-luve-you @your-daily-dose-of-fangirl @smexylemony @allieandcoffee @captainbuckyy @notevenenglish @infamousmany @geeksareunique @bellagrayson-wayne @a-dorky-book-keeper @crazypsychobookworm @lilya-petrichor @gemflowerrr @judemoos @chillinjules @littlebookbengal @marvelhoelland @its-the-unknownspidey @emeraldrhee-grimes @stephy-senpai @marvelismylifffe @tiya14 @andreuskystuff @soy-una-conejo @danicarosaline @youngjellyfishpolice @ellascarlettangel @wonders-of-the-multiverse @trumpettay @aestheticgaybish @ghostlytree612 @asmilinghopelessromantic @raspberrydreamclouds @seasidecrowbar @anini71 @kaylinfayezink @trashsiara @ionknowrlly @southsidespidey @julsgrc @jackiehollanderr @hollandshearteyes @imagine-addictt @madeinthemidnightmemories @iwokeupinabadmood @bobo-bush @h-oneyholland @vthenerd @justkeepdreaminganddreaming @lala-florez @mutuallynotmutual @karlitabi-rrito @crashhmycar @a-dorky-book-keeper @hollandinq @southsidespidey @kill-the-stereo @wronglanemendes @quackson606 @lovexo26 @wowiedraco @kaylathekittykat225 @popluckbih @littleraton @cannotpsd @unholyholland @ashwarren32 @parkerindustrys @euphorichxlland

#tom holland imagine #tom holland angst #tom holland one shot #tom holland x you #tom holland x reader #herseries

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wigwurq · 3 years

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WIG REVIEW: HILLBILLY ELEGY

I ACTUALLY WATCHED THIS MOVIE Y’ALL. I promised I would watch some Oscar movies instead of prestige TV shows with bad red wigs so I sorta did that: I watched Oscar bait. Because lordt knows this movie is not winning any Oscars (and if it does, it is truly the asterisk Oscars). THIS YEAR YOU GUYS. There is so much to discuss in this movie. Yes, the wigs too. Also there are lots of spoilers but here’s the thing: THIS MOVIE IS AWFUL AND YOU SHOULD ABSOLUTELY NOT WATCH IT UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES AND INSTEAD JUST READ THIS REVIEW. I WATCHED THIS HORROR SO YOU DON’T HAVE TO! YOU ARE WELCOME!

We begin in Kentucky 1997. AND EVERYTHING IS JUST SO KENTUCKY 1997. All landscapes/cars/people are beige and broken and depressed. We meet JD who is good at biking and saving turtles and spending the summer with his messed up family. HE IS ALSO A TERRIBLE ACTOR AS IS THE OLDER VERSION OF HIM. Important note: I did not read this book and the real JD is an awful Libertarian asshole and nothing about his story, his book, or this movie should be supported. I AM HERE FOR THE WIGS, Y’ALL. MOVING ON!

As promised, Glenn Close as JD’s grandma MAMAW (YES THAT IS HER CHARACTER NAME) looks exactly like Gene Shalit. A friend of mine made this comparison and I cannot unsee it. Amy Adams, straight off (ok maybe several years off?) deglamming for Sharp Objects is just completely frizzed (and kinda strung) out. These wigs are truly abominable as is this film. Anyway, they leave Kentucky and go back to Ohio where they live and where it is somehow more depressing than Kentucky.

But ok the wig, y’all. Amy Adams hair is is as shitty and unmanageable as her character which might have been a choice? Still, this wig is a tangled, dried out nightmare that cannot be defended (nor can this character’s child abuse and drug problems). Within moments of returning to Ohio, Amy Adams scolds her child for allowing a gifted dog to pee on her wall to wall carpeting and then the cops have to break up a car slap fight (of her slapping her child!) that spills out into a neighbor’s house. SHE MIGHT BE THE WORST MOM IN HISTORY BUT SHE SHOULD DEFINITELY BE ARRESTED FOR WIG CRIMES.

ONTO GLENN CLOSE - SHE LOOKS LIKE GENE SHALIT. THE END. Whoever approved this wig is a huge fan of American film critic Gene Shalit sans mustache. It is the only possible explanation. AND THIS PATCHY MAKEUP. I CANNOT YOU GUYS. I realize that everyone was aiming for deglam Oscars but they went too far.

ANYWAY. This film flashes between 1997 and 2011, where older JD (again also a terrible actor) is somehow in law school at Yale (OK?) and dating Freida Pinto who this film claims is normal law school age (FUN FACT: she’s 37). Older JD kind of has his life together other than the fact that all the snobs of law school cannot deal with this hillbilly kid who doesn’t know what a salad fork is. And then JD’s sister (played by Haley Bennett aka offbrand Jennifer Lawrence who I actually prefer more) calls and says that MOM IS IN TROUBLE PLEASE RUIN ANY LAW PROSPECTS AND COME HOME EVEN THOUGH MOM IS ABSOLUTELY THE WORST. AND HE DOES YOU GUYS!

Amy Adams’ 2011 wig/makeup/everything is probably the visualization of 2020? I assume this wig was made from leftover parts from Glenn Close’s Gene Shalit wig grafted onto a Halloween fright wig. It could very easily work for a swamp witch costume if you didn’t care about the quality of your swamp witch wig. IT IS THE WORST AS IS SHE. So she was in trouble because she overdosed on heroin...of course she did. After driving all night to get to Ohio, JD gets a call for a second interview at an important law whatever and just HAS TO GET BACK TO NEW HAVEN in the next like 6 hours which still feel like 600. The whole time he’s dealing with Amy Adams and her fright wig, it is a race against time to see if he’ll make it back and secure his future. I guess this is the plot of the movie? I could honestly not tell you. Basically the whole film (if you can call it that?) is strung together vignettes of strung out Amy Adams and yelling Glenn Close that never really add up to anything? BUT THERE IS SO MUCH YELLING ALWAYS. It’s like the opposite of a slow burn - it’s just constant flames and not the cool gay kind.

In any case, we flash back to the ‘90s where Amy Adams’ wig is basically everything Tonya Harding ever hoped and dreamed for (other than that Olympic medal...also Amy Adams would have been a much better casting choice in I, TONYA which had vastly superior wigs BUT I DIGRESS). We see how this drug habit developed - Amy Adams was a nurse and hoarded pills! This leads to the most truly outrageous film sequence I have seen in a long time where high as hell Amy Adams roller skates through the halls of the hospital where she works in her damn nurses scrubs and obviously immediately gets fired. Also her dad dies! Also she tries to kill herself and ends up screaming bloody murder (also covered in blood) in the middle of street and then goes to rehab (rehab doesn’t work). And then gets married to some rando. And then she gets some new job and needs JD to lend her some pee so she can still be a nurse. This all happens in the course of like 10 minutes. Like I said, this movie is constant insane vignettes - it’s like 100 plots at once and also no plot at all.

And then JD - definitely out of nowhere - develops a gang of terrible drug addicted teenage friends (sure!) who steal/crash cars and make everyone super pissed at JD. ALSO! For reasons unknown or ever explained, Glenn Close ends up in the hospital herself and then has the realization that only she can save JD from his effed up life AND TEARS ALL THE IVS OUT OF HER ARM AND STORMS OUT OF THE HOSPITAL WITH NO CONSEQUENCES OR EXPLANATIONS AS TO WHY SHE WAS THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE! YOU GUYS.

Also! JD tries to steal a graphing calculator for school from Radio Shack (this is for sure the most 90s sentence I’ve written in a while!) AND GLENN CLOSE IS PISSED! She lays down the law and also buys the graphic calculator herself even though that means they have to live off meals on wheels. BUT! Then he gets the best grade of the entire class on his math quiz and I DEMAND TO KNOW HOW HE KNEW HE HAD THE BEST GRADE IN THE ENTIRE CLASS AS THIS IS NEVER EXPLAINED OR SHOWN AND I NEED ANSWERS! Regardless, the graphing calculator not only saved JD’s grade point average but maybe set him on the path to Yale??? The concept that consumerism is the only thing that will help you as a “hillbilly” is really troubling and bespeaks the issues with this work of non-fiction as a whole. Anyway this movie really want you to know that GRAPHING CALCULATORS SAVE LIVES!!!

There is also a wig battle royale between Amy Adams and Glenn Close wherein there are absolutely no winners (but we, the viewer, definitely loses most!) It is honestly unclear to me how this fight ends (or how any fights end in this movie) because every interaction turns immediately into a fight and when said fight reaches its zenith, the movie cuts away to another vignette! Regardless, the wigs are complete garbage AS IS THIS MOVIE.

Back in 2011, Amy Adams refuses to be admitted to a rehab facility and older JD drives her back to her druggie boyfriend’s house which looks like this and I was like...hold up where have I seen this house before?

The answer is: 2010′s THE FIGHTER ALSO STARRING AMY ADAMS DEGLAMMING HERSELF FOR AN OSCAR SHE DIDN’T WIN! Ok actually in comparison, these houses aren’t that similar other than they are depressing houses with multitier front porches BUT STILL.

Anyway, JD leaves Amy Adams and her sad swamp witch wig at some random motel where nothing is resolved between them at all and then he drives all night back to New Haven whilst talking to Freida Pinto on the phone (SHE NEEDS TO SLEEP TOO, DUDE! HOW DO YOU THINK SHE IS PLAYING 14 YEARS HER JUNIOR! SLEEP!) And then...he does get to the interview and....the movie ends!! WHAT!TRULY AND FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART: WHAT DID I JUST WATCH AND WAS IT A MOVIE? I STILL DON’T KNOW!

There is an epilogue of pictures of the real people and you guys: MAMAW LOOKED NOTHING LIKE GENE SHALIT. Also why do I even care about these real people???? Yes the real JD made something of himself....he wrote the book on which this movie is based and became a Libertarian asshole and worked with Peter Theil?!?! OK??? I guess the full story is in the epilogue? But this movie absolutely begins and ends nowhere and in between we are treated to a lot of nonsensical yelling and terrible, awful, no good wigs. I IMPLORE YOU: DO NOT WATCH THIS MOVIE!!!!!! MAYBE WATCH SOME YOUTUBE CLIPS OF GENE SHALIT INSTEAD!

VERDICT: DOESN’T WURQ

#wigwurq #hillbillyelegy #glennclose #amyadams #deglammedforoscar #oscarbait #swampwitchwigs #geneshalit

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intoafandom · 5 years

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MAJOR SPIDERMAN FAR FROM HOME SPOILERS!!! WARNING!!!!

So I just watched the movie and IVE GOT SOME THINGS TO SAY!!

Peter Parker is the most adorable person I've ever seen holy shit. He's so awkward I love it. I love him.

Peter tingle hehe

Peter's plan was so cute but everything just screws up lol

"Take off your clothes" I cringed so damn hard during that scene omg

Peter on the plane lol poor kid

I really loved Quentin and Peter's relationship. It was so cute and brotherly. Every time Fury started to yell or snap at Peter, Quentin stepped in and said something, as if he was truly understanding Peter.

So it was SO shocking when he faked everything.

Like that whole scene of him explaining everyone's backstories and stuff was so mind blowing. Like my mouth dropped.

I feel so bad for Peter omg like he really trusted Quentin and thought he wasn't good enough for Tony so he really gave Quentin Edith.

EDITH KILLED ME FREAKING TONY IS STILL THE BEST: "EVEN DEAD I'M THE HERO" FREAKING SLAY TONY

The special effects in this movie are the best I've ever seen.

The action scenes are the best I've ever seen. All the swinging around and flips and explosions were soooo cool.

That scene when Quentin is basically torturing Peter's mind was so heart breaking but so cool. It looked amazing and it was actually perfect. It was my favorite scene.

When all the spidermen came and ripped his suit off to reveal the original one from before Tony contacted him in civil war. That was one of my favorite parts in the whole movie.

I was waiting for him to bring Tony into the scene and when it finally happened I was SHOOK

Like they really had him crawling out of his grave, all decaying and shit. Like holy

The whole Peter dealing with life without Tony was so interesting to see. Like at the beginning the reporters asked him about Tony and then it like went quiet and we could hear Peter's heartbeat. And all the times he got emotional about Tony. Especially when Happy was stitching him up and he started snapping at him and was literally so emotional afterward I-

Happy and Peter's relationship in this movie was so cute. They've come so far. Like omg

Peter getting hit by a train WHAT

Tom's acting in the movie might be his best work. Like when he was coughing after getting hit by the train, it sounded so real. He sounded like he was in actual pain so many times in the movie.

And when Peter was limping towards Happy in all the flowers awww I feel so bad. You can tell how scared he was.

When Peter was designing his suit omg so cute.

And Happy was just looking at him like "he's mini Tony" I can see the looooove

Peter actually IS mini Tony. The suit design, yes. But that scene when Peter made that little device in the middle of the battle to help him, thinking like 'mechanic' Tony.

Plus Peter with that huge ass sign as a shield was so funny and cute

Every time the teacher said the elementals were witches actually killed me lol.

Quentin shut up, Peter looks great in those glasses.

Also I loved the confirmation that Peter is my age lol

I loooooved that we got to see more of Peter's spidey sense

Also I'm happy they explained the aftermath of end game. Calling it "the blip" and stuff.

Alsooo, technically Robert Downey Jr was in the movie cuz they showed him like 50 million times

Also, there's technically no multiverse right? Since everything was fake.

Now lets talk about the end credit scene cuz HOLY FUCKING SHIT OMG

YOU KNOW WHAT!! FUCK QUENTIN!!! HE REALLY MADE IT LOOK LIKE SPIDERMAN WANTS TO KILL EVERYONE OMG. HE REALLY TOLD EVERYONE THAT SPIDERMAN IS PETER PARKER. HE REALLY SHOWED HIS FACE. WHAT THE FUCK OMG OMG

WHAT ARE THEY GUNNA DO FOR THE NEXT MOVIE OMG HOWS PETER GUNNA DEAL WITH THIS IM SO SHOOK HOLY SHIT. HE'S LITERALLY A 16 YEAR OLD KID HOLY SHIT ARE PPL GUNNA TURN AGAINST HIM NOW. LIKE ARE PPL GUNNA TRY TO ARREST HIM WHAT!!!!! OR KILL HIM AIDNKWODMS! ALL THE VILLIANS WILL KNOW WHO HE IS NOW BUT HES 16 HE CANT DEAL WITH THIS.

THE SECOND END CREDIT SCENE OMG WHAT NICK FURY WASN'T THERE THE WHOLE DAMN TIME WHAT.

This is kinda random but I found it kinda sweet that Quentin actually liked Peter. Like he's a complete psycho and stuff, but you can tell he liked Peter and didn't want to hurt him. "Poor kid" or whatever he said. He hated that he had to hurt Peter like that. Until he actually went insane and tried to shoot him in the fuCKING HEAD!!

I loved the music in this movie. Right from the start "I will always love you" Marvel I see you. Yes we'll always love Tony. Also that school made tribute to Tony, Steve, Natasha and Vision was so cringy and sweet lol.

Still can't get over Tom's acting tho. He's so good at making me feel bad for him.

I love Peter Parker with my whole heart

This movie was so damn good I wanna watch it again

#tom holland #peter parker #peter parker x reader #spider man #spiderman #spider man far from home #spiderman homecoming #mcu #marvel cinematic universe #marvel #tony stark #robert downey jr

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balenciagastones · 4 years

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the long run - for hannah

okay so quick preface before anyone’s confused, adri wrote this for me and ive just cried for about 20 minutes over it lmao, this is just what i needed today 🥺🥺 thank you so so so much, i love it 🥺😭 xx

If you would’ve told Eric 5 years ago that he’d be sat here with the girl of his dreams and their three beautiful kids on holiday in Greece he would’ve told you you were crazy, but now looking at Hannah with their twins sitting under the umbrella has him and his first baby made a sandcastle he wouldn’t wanna be any other place.

But let's start from the beginning.

Let's start on that rainy Tuesday morning, where it all began, where Eric was up bright and early for training, early enough to catch a quick coffee at his favorite shop before heading into Enfield. Walking in and having the barista take his order and waiting on his phone on the side for it to be ready. That’s when SHE walked in.

Rushing in from the rain, pulling off the hood of her jacket to reveal her beautiful long light brown hair that flowed down her back. Her bag holding books for uni that desperately needed studying, her ordering was what caught his attention making him look up from his phone and studying her as she ordered. He saw the big smile on her face as she politely greeted the barista and kindly ordered her drink before heading over in his direction, immediately giving him a smile which he returned. He thought she was just exceptionally beautiful, he could already feel the happiness she radiated off, just an amazing energy and he wanted to know more.

He turned his head towards her and sparked up a conversation catching her off guard making himself chuckle.

“Hi, I’m Eric.” He put his hand out.

“I’m Hannah, nice to meet you Eric.” she grabbed his hand and what felt like fireworks shot through his arm and made him smile wide, a smile which she returned almost twice as big.

A bit of small talk with coffee and a rushed exchange of numbers, he could tell this was gonna be the start of something beautiful.

After flirty texts, long phone calls, late facetime sessions and weekly dates that fit both their schedules you can say that they were each falling, and hard. Eric couldn’t keep the smile off his face when thinking about her, and everyone around him noticed. Dele telling him that he’s already whipped and all Eric could do in response was shrug, immediately going into a spell of stories about what him and Hannah talked about that morning while on the phone on his way to training. Normally Dele would roll his eyes and just make fun of him but he could see the glint in his best friend’s eyes that told him that even just after a few weeks this girl was the one. “Do you love her?” Deles question took Eric off guard and speechless. “I-i..” he took a pause immediately bringing her to mind, thinking of the cute little faces she makes during their facetimes, the way she talked that made his stomach flipped, her smile that could make even a big man like him go weak, her bubbly personality that he could hardly believe fit in her little body, and then it hit him. “I think i do,” it was the first time he actually admitted his feelings to himself this quickly. “I love her. “ “You love her.” Dele repeated, a smile coming to his face at his best friends realization. “I gotta tell her, I’m gonna call her to schedule a date night with her tonight, tell the gaffer ill be there in 5 minutes.” Dele nodded and chuckled as he saw Eric run off to call Hannah.

When Eric called her in the middle of when he was supposed to be training she got worried something had happened, she didn’t expect him to say “im picking you up at 8, we’re gonna go out to dinner, please say yes.” and she didn’t give it a second thought. So there she was dressed up looking herself in the mirror when Eric texted her that he was there to pick her up, and like always he was at the door waiting for her and greeted her with a kiss. She could tell something was up on the drive to the restaurant. He had one that had intertwined with hers like always but the hand on the steering wheel was tapping its fingers against it anxiously. She thought maybe he had a tough training session so she brought his hand to her lips placing a gentle kiss to his knuckles seemingly calming him as he looked over and smiled at her. When they reached the restaurant he opened the car door for her and was the perfect gentleman like always. Throughout the whole dinner he seemed a bit more calm, due to her presence, making him laugh and smile the whole night through. After they ordered dessert however she grabbed his hand and asked the question on her mind, “Soo what do i owe the pleasure of this quick planned dinner date?” she rose her eyebrows at him as she sipped her wine. He cleared his throat and chuckled a bit, “I just wanted to take my lovely girlfriend out for dinner..” her eyes screamed ‘spill it’ so he cleared his throat once again before asking for both her hands, which she put in his, “the real reason we came out was because this morning in training i realized something, I realized how amazing I feel when youre on my mind, I realized how calm and happy you make me constantly, and if i could shout it on a rooftop i would, Hannah, I love you.” He could see the tears in her eyes and he leaned over to wipe them from her eyes. “Dont cry pretty girl.” “Theyre happy tears I promise, I-i I love you too Eric.” If you think you’ve seen Eric’s biggest smile, youre wrong, his face beamed as he leaned over even more to plant a kiss on her lips right before the dessert came and then heading to his home where the two of them showed each other just how much they loved the other.

Fast forward a couple months in and he’d say he had never been more right about the day they met. It was the North London Derby and Hannah was in the stands, yes the stands, stood next to his younger brothers while wearing a big 15 with Dier on her back. Cheering for him at the top of her lungs whenever he even got a touch on the ball. The game ending in their favor 3-2 with Eric scoring the winner, and he had never seen such excitement in her eyes then when she told him the story of when City won the league, with her going out to celebrate it. She met him in the tunnel, and ran towards his arms before he can make it inside the changing room, he caught her in his big arms and spun her around before smashing his lips on hers quickly before putting her down. Him promising her he’d be quick so they can head home so she stood there with Emilia, the two of them becoming just as close as there partners were, waiting for both of their men to come out, Dele coming out first and letting her know Eric was just behind him. She bid them goodbye before turning back and there he was, her man. She couldn’t help herself she pulled his neck down for a longer kiss earning a whistle from Lamela and pat on the shoulder from Winksy as they headed out. Lamela shouting, “Dier is getting some tonightttt!” making you both chuckle as you broke from the kiss.

“Oh yes he is.” she whispered with a smirk on her lips making him peck her one more time whispering back, “god I love you” before scooping her in his arms and carrying her to the car for a very long night of celebration, if you know what i mean.

Fast forward 3 more months and their sat on his sofa for their weekly movie night. Bowl of popcorn in her lap as she was laid back on his chest, clad in his t-shirt that looked more like a dress on her due to his large size. The two of them were chatting here and there and he couldn’t help but notice how comfortable she was.

And no not just in his arms, but in general, she was here most nights, becoming accustomed to being in his arms during the night, both of them confessing to each other that they both got the best sleep when the other was next to them, she had an extra set of toiletries and entire makeup bag upstairs in his bathroom, articles of clothing that she would accidentally leave around that he would call to tell her she forgot and she would just tell him to keep it there so she would have some of her own clothes there even tho she much preferred wearing his all over the house and he wasn’t complaining. He also couldn’t stop thinking about how he loved the days she would have off from uni and just hang out at his place all day while he went to training, always coming home to her cooking or studying always wrapping his arms around her waist kissing her neck and mumbling “I could get used to this” making her giggle and turn her neck to plant a kiss on his lips. God how he wanted those days to be every day, he wanted her to come home from long school days so he can spoil her from head to toe and make her feel all relaxed when she was stressed. He wanted to wake up to her beautiful face every day for the rest of his life. And he was gonna make it happen.

He leaned down to press a kiss on her shoulder and her neck whispering “Pretty girl,” she hummed in response as she chewed on some popcorn, “move in with me.” She almost choked at his words and whipped her head back to look at him. “Are you being serious?” her eyes scanning his face for any sign that his question was a joke. “Deadly,” he cupped her face before continuing, “Hannah, I want to wake up to your gorgeous little face every morning and I wanna come home knowing you’ll be here or knowing you’ll walk through that front door right after me. If it’s too much too fast then it’s oka-” she cut him off with a kiss. Saying “you’re cute when you start going on tangents,” against his lips, “I’d love to move in with you.” A huge smile spread across his face as he kissed her one more time, so passionately it sent a shiver down her spine. The two so in love it radiated off them, he really was at his happiest in that moment.

After the move in it felt like everything was where it should be, month of the two of them as happy as can be, always there for each other through the rough training sessions, to the long study hours, the wins and losses, the bad and good marks, through every minor injury or every bad day, they were together through thick and thin.

Which didn’t change when Hannah was sick for 3 days straight. Eric sitting next to her holding her hair as she threw her guts up in the toilet, rubbing her back telling her it’ll pass soon. The two of them sitting on the bathroom floor, her in his lap feeling awful as he kissed her forehead trying to make her feel better, thats when she started crying. Tears hitting his shoulder making him pull her face to look up at him.

“Whats wrong beautiful?”

“What if its not a stomach bug E, what if… what if i could be pregnant?” she couldn’t look at his face, she buried her face in his neck again still spilling tears. He just soothed her and said “If that’s the case then we’ll get through it, together, I promise.” she looked up at him and saw the sincerity in his eyes and pulled him in for a kiss. “I love you E.” “I love you more pretty girl.”

And he kept his promise, being there when she took the test, when the timer rang anf the both of them looked at the positive test in front of them, the both of them crying knowing that Hannah was now carrying a little creation of their love, Eric immediately getting on his knees pulling up her shirt pressing a kiss to her tummy even though she wasn’t showing yet. Mumbling “me and your mummy already love you so much.”

He didn’t know how he could love her any more than he did, seeing her through every appointment, seeing the little bump form on her body just made her more beautiful if that was even possible, she was carrying his baby and he couldn’t contain his happiness, he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her and he couldn’t wait.

So 4 months later there were the both of them smiling for the endless photographs that their families were taken the day of he graduation, both families becoming so close from the moment they met, both moms planning the wedding that same night. “Do you think they have enough pics, my feet hurt.” she whispered making him laugh giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Probably not after this.” he whispered making her look at him confused, and then he got on one knee taking something out of his pocket making her gasp, her hand immediately going to her growing baby bump.

“Hannah, you are the love of my life, the only girl who can make me a big softie around the boys, the light in my life that i can’t get enough of, and youre the mother of our baby growing inside of you, I want nothing more than to spend the rest of out lives together… so what im asking is, will you marry me?” she flashed the big ring to her and she swore she was sobbing at this point only being able to nod as he flashed another big smile getting up and slipping the ring on her finger giving her a big passionate kiss. Pulling away to see their families taking loads of pics and videos of the amazing moment. “I love you so much.” she breathed out as he wiped the tears from her face. “And I love you so much more.”

“We’re getting married!” she exclaimed, making everyone laugh.

5 months later and they were sitting on the sofa watching the city game on the television, her still a bit grumpy she cant wear her jersey due to the big belly, she was already one week past her due date with their little girl and she couldn’t wait til the day came to pop her out, the doctor said it could happen any day but as Eric liked to say that their little girl wanted to stay in the little home Hannah created for her over the past months, “Well this little home’s rent is way past due and it time for her to be evicted.” she would grumble.

So there she sat in a little tank top and a pair of Eric’s joggers rolled up at the waist waiting for the second half to start, Eric getting up to get her some more crips and some water hearing her say to her belly, “if city win you have to come out today please.” making him chuckle as he walked back to her handing her the snack. He sat next to her resting his head on her shoulder and rubbing her belly like he always did, this little gesture had become one of her favorite things of his, always making her feel relaxed as well as it being able to calm the little baby when she would have a kick fest inside of Hannah. She smiled down at him and placed a kiss on his head.

The second half and there was city immediately gaining possession of the ball with Foden making a pass directly for KDB perfectly netting the ball making Hannah jump up and celebrate and thats when she felt it, a sharp pain and wet between her legs, “Ow fuck!” Eric immediately standing up asking if she was okay, looking down and seeing the stain on the joggers from her water breaking, “I knew our little girl would be a city fan, ah in your face.. Ow!” she laughed and winced at the same time

“Okay im grabbing the bags, start heading to the car.” she nodded as she waddled over to the fron door and opening it waiting at the car for eric. After he helped her in they rushed to the hospital, calling their families and Dele and Emilia on the way there, the responses being that they’ll be there. Getting there was a breeze though Hannah’s contractions were every 4 minutes. The doctor had her in the room as soon as they got there and said she was almost ready to push.

And 6 hours later Arden Primrose Dier came into the world and her parents couldn’t be more wrapped around her little finger. As Eric liked to say she was the spitting image of her mother with a dash of Dier hair, and he loved her endlessly. Everytime he held her little body, tears would well up in his eyes not believing he made this precious little one. His two girls becoming his world and he vowed to love and protect them always.

10 months later Eric was stood at the end of aisle with Dele next to him, his brothers amongst his groomsmen. Seeing his baby girl being carried by his sister in her little flower girl dress, cooing at her daddy as he made a face at her.

And then the music started, he took a deep breathe and then he saw her, linked arms with her grandad in her gorgeous white dress, no sleeves and a small deep V, flowery lace throughout the gown. He couldnt keep his emotions in, tearing up at the sight of the love of his life that was about to marry him and be his forever. Dele pat his shoulder smiling at him. Her grandad shaking his hand and kissing his granddaughter on her cheek so proud of her and the man she would call her husband. The whole ceremony was so beautiful, and then came the vows, leaving no dry eye in the whole venue.

Eric went first. “Hannah, I remember the day we met like it was yesterday, you running in from the rain and immediately catching my attention, the way you immediately lit up the room with a smile on your face, I knew i just had to get to know to you, and i know that after you left that day you already had my heart. You’ve been with me through every high and low, always being my number one supporter except of course on matches against city,” everyone laughed as Hannah winked, “but whether its a win or a loss you are always by my side picking me up when i need it, you are the love of my life, and will be to the very end, I can never thank you enough for all the things youve done for me, including bringing in our little Arden into the world, there is no one I would rather have random dance competitions in the car with, I love you Hannah.”

“Wow how am i supposed to follow that,” she chuckled getting ready for her turn, “Eric, wow where do I start, first off I love you and secondly thank you, thank you for being mine, thank you for being there after every rough day where all i want is to be in your arms telling me that everything was going to be okay, thank you for being just you, the perfect man, the one of my dreams, thank you for always listening even if I’m just complaining about something you don’t know about, thank you for giving me Arden, and for being the best daddy to our beautiful girl, thank you for being there through the long nights where you told me to go to sleep but I would stay up til I would knock out studying, thank you for always taking me to bed and making sure i slept the whole night, thank you for being there evry step during pregnancy i know i was a bit difficult,” they both chuckled, “thank you for letting me be me, I don’t know what i would do without you Eric Dier and ever since our first meeting I knew you were the one and I can’t wait to see what the future holds for us, I love you Eric.”

Everyone was just in awe of their love, wiping tears from their faces, the ceremony ending with him dipping her and kissing her more passionately than ever before.

The entire reception was a blast, Hannah changing into her silk white dress that Eric drooled over, whispering in her ear how much he already wanted to take it off her making her blush. They danced the night away, their first dance full of tears, Dele and Emilia’s speeches were each beautiful and Eric and Hannah wouldn’t want this night to be any other way.

As the night came to a close it was time for the bouquet toss, Hannah throwing it behind her and none other than Emilia caught it, making Eric and Winksy nudge Dele as he winked at his girlfriend. Hannah hugged her best friend before rejoining her now husband planting a kiss on his lips as they started to bid everyone goodnight. Wanting to savor their wedding night before they flew to Mykonos the next morning for their honeymoon. Giving one last kiss to Arden as she was staying with his parents while they were away they were ready

“Ready to go Mrs. Dier?” “Ready as i’ll ever be Mr. Dier.” he grabbed her hand as they made their way out of the reception venue.

Lets just say it was a very good night.

Their 10 day trip to Mykonos was so relaxing, staying at a private villa, days filled with love making and trips to the water, as well as nights filled with fancy dinners and more love making after wards. Coming home to their little girl with nice tans and a freshly wed glow to them.

2 months later and it was Arden’s first birthday, the two of you pulling out all the stops for your little one. The whole day going smoothly, and Arden was tuckered out by the end of the celebrations that evening. Hannah and Eric were too, laying next to each other on their shared bed as Hannah laid on her husband’s chest in silence, with him softly playing with her hair, all of a sudden she felt a churn in her stomach and the next thing she knew she was kneeling in front of the toilet with Eric holding her hair back.

“I’d say it was a bad reaction to some food but I was wrong last time.” they both chuckled as she rinsed her mouth out with mouth wash.

“Mr. Dier i think we made ourselves a honeymoon baby.” she laughed making him smile and pick her up and spinning her and giving her a kiss.

Little did they know at the first doctors ultrasound they’d find out some big news.

“Congrats you two, there are two healthy heart beats.”

“TWO?!” they both exclaimed making the doctor chuckle, “Yes, you’re carrying twins.”

“Guess we made two honeymoon babies.” Eric said making his wife slap his arm.

And 7 months later, she popped out two healthy fraternal twins, a boy, River Aspen Dier, and a girl, Eden Gravity Dier. River already the spitting image of his daddy and Eden looking like a perfect mix of the both of them.

Eric and Hannah’s hearts couldn’t be more full, Dele and Emilia bringing in Arden to meet her baby siblings and even at almost 2 she showed so much love towards them both.

Their lives were complete. Eric had everything he could have wished, with the girl of his dreams. They were in this for the long run and they were loving every minute of it.

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timeisacephalopod · 5 years

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Ive seen endgame! Spoilers under the cut and I’m not tagging this as spoilers because I’m literally telling you now its spoilers.

1- what the fuck was the point of Tony’s kid? We had more than 10 years with this character, he doesn’t need a kid for emotional impact when he died and now I’m kind of pissed they threw this fucking random kid in there only to orphan the poor thing and make Pepper a single mother. What fucking bullshit. Never should have been a storyline.

2- Pepper in the suit yaaaaaas.

3- Wanda. Fucking loved her moments. And Thanos’ “I don’t even know who you are” was fucking iconic lmao. I mean her “you will” was okay but holy fucking damn that was the funniest shit from Thanos.

4- they killed viz permanently lmao yeah I didn’t give 2 tits and a snare drum about him anyway so I don’t care.

5- Steve. What the fucking fuck did they do to him? Don’t get me wrong, I like Peggy, and I liked him and Peggy in FA. They were cute. But it was a 4 month fling in the middle of of a war. Not that it can’t be important, but after 15+ years you are telling me a 4 month fling from Steve’s youth is more important to him than everything else? And what of Bucky? He leaves him to HYDRA and after all the shit he went through in WS and CW you’re seriously telling me he’d just LEAVE him there like that? I don’t mean to be a dick to Peggy because I do like her, but narratively speaking Bucky has always played more importance to her except when they want to make Steve feel nostalgic. I’m sorry, I’m fucking over that plot line.

More than that though she moved on in her show, she had a life after Steve and he went back and took that from her. And I don’t see why aside from no one let him grow as a character while also having him grow as a character. He went through a huge character shift in WS and then we saw nothing of it. Aside from his motivations in CW, which make sense given the context of WS however much I disagree, we see none of that development and I’m fucking tired of watching him lament over a relationship that lasted for a shorter time than a high school semester. To any normal person, and even to Steve given his non normal stance, he would have moved the fuck on. Also he made out with her niece that one time!! How is he living with this!

Also Sam says they never had a Captain America but Steve was still big when he danced with Peggy, which means he got the serum, which means he still can’t age right, which begs the question of how the tits long did he live? And again, what does this mean for everything else considering getting the serum implies he was, at some point, Cap even if he was never the Cap they knew. What the fuck! I’m actually the most mad about this because Steve, post WS, probably would have been one of my favorite characters given his extreme narrative shift and just how interesting that could have been if anyone ever fucking let him move on with his fucking self but no. Instead we end with him in the same spot he started in! I watched ten years of this shit for him to do NOTHING? All that development (that the narratives never really let him go through in totality because he narratively never shifted out of his War and Peggy Phase even while his character, on an individual level, moved out of that several times) and I watch him end in the same place he started?

Honestly I’m pretty pissed about that. Especially with all the did with Bucky. I seriously can’t believe Steve fucking left him there, ignored every piece of information he had, ruined Peggy’s original happy ending, and then didn’t even grow as a character. I like that he got a happy ending, I think he’s earned that, but I simply cannot believe a 4 month fucking fling meant so much he’d ignore his best friend, HYDRA, Peggy’s original marriage, the fact that he made out with her niece that one time, and everything else to end up exactly where he started. Which is why I don’t really care for him to begin with- because the narrative always leaves him right at the beginning and I don’t know how to invest in a character that grows but never grows. If he narratively was allowed to grow he would have been so. Much. Better. It is so fucking frustrating to me that he never moved the fuck on. You have no idea.

6- “I can do this all day” “Yeah I know”

7- “You look like melted ice cream”

8- Hated almost everything they did with Thor. Fat jokes? Yikes. Though I did love that ice cream line. Loved the bit with Frigga. And like. Thor being devastated and traumatized is ok. I think that’s realistic enough even if I wonder how someone that’s been alive for well over 1000 years doesn’t know how to handle himself with slightly more grace. I would have liked to see him crack differently.

9- Cap picking up Thor’s hammer and Thor being happy about it? 10 000 times better than the garbage Whedon wrote. Loved that.

10- Nebula. N E B U L A. NEEEEEBBBUUUUULLLLAAAA. Start to finish fucking loved her. She was amazing. 2 questions though- how did she not kill herself when she killed herself? Which in itself is a fucky question to ask. And also the second contention point I have with the movie beyond time travel bullshit is why NO ONE asked where she was post Nat (that in a minute). I know they were sad about Nat obviously but Rhodey is a full bird colonel, he keeps track of thousands of people for his job, plus all of his involvement in Tony’s antics, plus the Avengers and you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone even with Nat? And Tony, you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone? He was the one who bonded with her the most and he didn’t notice that he’s now technically lost two people he was close to? And Rocket? He didn’t notice? Are you fucking kidding me? I thought that was bullshit.

Even if, by chance, Rhodey somehow didn’t notice his partner in crime was missing (”I wasn't always like this” “Neither was I”- new BroTP yo!) when I think his military experience alone would have made him the second most likely to notice after Rocket (because he knows her the best) then Rocket should have. And if for some reason Rocket didn’t notice despite her being all that’s left of his found family, making him extra invested in her whereabouts, over Nat, whom I think he’d care about but not like Nebula, then Tony, who spent all that time with her in space, would have noticed.

Fucking someone would have noticed her gone. And the whole second half relies on no one noticing this moment and I call absolute bullshit on that. Someone. Would. Have. Noticed. Rhodey if for no other reason than experience of keeping track of people in war zones, Rocket if for no other reason than her being his last remaining connection to his family, and Tony if for no other reason than Nebula being a large part of the reason he’s alive. I was completely thrown from the story here. I simply can’t see how they could over look that even considering Natasha.

11- Natasha. Are you fucking kidding me? You killed her over Clint? I fucking hate MCU Clint. He’s boring, he’s nothing like the comics, he’s a fucking prick, and I don’t give a fuck about his family or anything to do with him. I liked him best when he was going to kill himself for Natasha. That is the only moment, as Marie Kondo would say, sparked joy for me. Otherwise throw the whole thing out. Fucking Natasha over Clint. Fuck you. That was an insult to the viewers. I don’t give a fuck about Clint, I don’t give a fuck about his kids aside from thinking they didn’t deserve the snap, and I don’t give a fuck about his story.

My mom said he was a plain Timbit (donut hole for the US readers) in a donut world and I honestly think that’s insulting to the plain Timbit, which is something we give to dogs as treats in Canada. Clint isn’t even a dog treat to me and they killed Black Widow over him. Fucking pissed.

12- “That suit does nothing for your ass” “No one was asking you to look, Tony!” “That’s America’s ass!” .... “That is America’s ass”

13- I actually really liked what they did with Bruce. I was excited to see all the benefits of the Hulk and Banner in one! That was pretty cool!

14- Strange’s reappearance was pretty badass. And Wong! I was excited to see him there! Was a bit surprised by Tilda Swinton’s appearance but okay. I didn’t hate it. Loved when she punched Bruce out of the Hulk lmfao that was so funny. I do like that she apparently does that to everyone lmao. I should write a fic where she punches Wong’s soul out of his body when the meet just because I think it’d be funny. And I’d love to see more Wong.

15- Steve vs Steve was really cool, I liked that. And fucking Hail HYDRA holy fucking shit I almost lost my ass. Couldn’t fucking believe he said that (and knowing that he just leaves that all for Peggy, his 4 month fling? Find this wildly out of character for him). Then he fucks right off with the tesseract omg.

16- Scott had some iconic one-liners. “That’s America’s ass!” “Okay I'm going to go inside you” omg. Ant Man was a joy to watch in this. I find Endgame used his character right.

17- I know I said it but Pepper Potts in the fucking suit y’all! I don’t know who was watching Morgan but also Pepper Potts in the fucking suit!!

18- That time travel shit made things entirely way too fucky. I knew that’s what they were going to do because that’s all that made sense, but I thought it was fucking stupid. And can Thanos even snap the stones out of existence? Because Tilda Swinton’s speech implied if he did something like that timelines would essentially do the funky chicken and die. She removed the time stone and shit was supposed to get weird, remove all 5 and what happens? Wtf? He fucking hid those stones. Did like Thor’s bit there though, killing Thanos. I think Nebula earned it more than him but I also think it was a good moment for Thor before his character became a fucking joke.

19- narratively I understand why they started with Clint’s family dusting but I don’t give a fuck about Clint or his dusted family. I would have preferred watching a civilian lose his shit.

20- Steve you need therapy, stop leading therapy sessions. Especially when your advice is ‘move on’ and you literally go fucking nowhere in your life even after you went all over hell’s creations. Get this man a proper therapist he needs like 15!

21- lmfao Russos talking about gay representation and it was a guy talking about a date. I shit you the fuck not that was it. Gay. It was barely even there. Only straight men would ever assume that could possibly count as representation holy fuck. Like thanks for the blink you miss it shout out I guess. You remembered gays exist, wow!

22- Strange’s one finger thing, I liked that a lot actually. I think it functioned both as a great call to action and a nice reference to Stephen’s power.

23- Quick question, why was Tilda Swinton in New York? Because they went back too far for Strange- at first I when they mentioned 3 stones in NY I was like wait, when’s Strange’s story supposed to happen? After WS right? He can’t be in NY with the stone? But then Tilda showed up and I was like... why isn’t she in Nepal at the teaching sanctum? Because apparently the NY one isn’t a teaching sanctum and as far as I knew she was training Mordo and Wong there at this time so wtf? And it can’t be explained with ‘she knew she needed to be there’ because she punched Bruce out of hulk and he had to grovel to her to get the fucking thing from her and only managed because she knew Stephen gave up the stone willingly and would never do so without good reason because he’s the best fo the best. So like. Why was she there aside from plot convenience? That was a little too easy. Frankly, the whole plot was a touch too easy but still.

24- tired of aliens we’re supposed to relate to looking like humans but in pink while aliens we’re supposed to dislike are animalistic and non human looking. That’s a garbage trope.

25- The black woman in the elevator who made Tony and Steve is 100% Fury’s mother no one can convince me otherwise. I think the timeline matches up but I don’t care if it doesn’t she’s his mom now. He gets it all from his mama.

Bonus: stop trying to make Howard happen, Marvel, its not going to. I fucking hated that scene with Tony and Howard. What kind of bullshit abuse apology was that? Howard then, sure, he didn’t suck quite yet and seems to be aware of his own shortcomings. Howard in the future? Sorry, irredeemable crap. Narratively interesting irredeemable crap but irredeemable nonetheless. Tony panicking and saying his last name was Potts was great though lol. I’ll take it as evidence he took Pepper’s last name when they got married.

Bonus Bonus: I cried when Sam held the shield. I’ve been gunning for Sam to take over as Cap since we met him and everyone told me it’d be Bucky. I argued that we’ve already seen the story of a super soldier as Cap, it would be more interesting to watch Sam as a relatively normal guy take over as Cap. And I like Bucky traumatized and Winter Solider-y. I think he’s more interesting that way. Seriously though, Sam as Cap will be amazing and I didn’t expect to cry at that of all things but I did. I’m so excited to see him in that role!

Bonus Bonus Bonus for any sorry fucking soul who’s made it this far in I think I might update the Tony, T’Challa, and Their Gaggle of Children verse to include Morgan (but older) finding Tony only she’s his actual assed kid and no one believes it even though they have a striking resemblance. Which annoys them both because he got the media to buy all his other fake kids with easy to track down parents but not his actual kid. Ending with Nebula showing up and him claiming she’s his kid and everyone buying it.

#winters ramblings

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hamelaisley · 4 years

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prague...dedicated to becky

PRAGUE

Chapter 1

"we could run..........you and me. we could go now and never look back"

"are you serious???"

"i have money saved up josh. i could get us new identities. create a escape route. for now just keep up appearances.........,go to berlin like were gonna shoot. well leave to go to prague from there"

"what are you saying jen?????"

"im saying i wanna be a real person again........with you. thats what you want right???? i mean this is it josh. will you run away with me????"

-XX-

"aaaaaand action!!!!" yelled francis lawrence.

any other time this would have been joshs idea of heaven. working with his friend all day. but now.... it was just really awkward and he couldnt wait until the wrap.

josh started to mumble his lines but was cut off by jen.

"im really sorry francis but........i cant do this right now......." she said and then walked off to her trailer.

it had been like this ever sense....ever sense prague.......

-XX-

josh walked up to the train platform trying to find jen. suddenly he saw her standing with a suitcase and wearing a red jacket with cute black heels on. she spotted him and immediately smiled at him. he walked over to her.

"hey!!!!! i was starting to think you werent coming!!!" she said.

josh looked down at his shoes. jen didnt notice or care. jen pulled a folder out of her purse.

"k so here are our new identities. for now on your name is thomas campbell and mine is elle sinclair. we can talk about there back stories or whatever on the train ride to prague" she said.

"jen........." josh said.

"oh dont worry about the ride......... its only a hour long and if your bored you have me to talk to" she said.

"jen i.......i dont think we should do this........."

jen looked kinda confused.

"what do you mean?????"

"i mean we..... we made a promise that we would make these movies. we have a responsibility to the fans and everyone in the movie to finish it.... this is our life jen. this fairytale about running away is nice but this is where we belong. in hollywood. living our real lives....."

"josh its not that simple....... you dont understand but everything here is fake.....but this" she said and grabbed josh's hand. ".....this is simple. this is our real life. we have to go josh...... are you coming????? please come with me josh....."

josh paused and let go of jen's hand.

"i cant......im sorry........"

-XX-

josh walked up to jen's trailer and knocked.

"jen its me.....please let me in........"

"josh no. i dont want to talk to you now"

josh could tell she was crying.

"jen......."

"go away!!!!!"

josh leaned against the door and felt a single tear on his cheek.

"ok" he whispered.

Chapter 2

things were awkward on set. jen was avoiding josh and it was making him feel awful and lonely. he was always talking and laughing with her and now that he wasnt he felt empty and hurt. he hated being alone because then your forced into listening to your own thoughts instead of someone elses voice. god he couldnt wait for this to end.

but.......but what if this awkwardness never ended?? what if jen never forgave him???

he stared at the script in his hands. he was trying to memorize his lines because he had to and to distract himself from the situation with jen. it wasnt really working. he looked out the window of his trailer and saw jen in her own trailer looking straight at him. but when she saw that he saw her she looked away.

josh threw the papers on the ground frustratedly. he needed to talk to jen. even if she didnt want to talk to him. fuck, hed tie her up and force her to listen if thats what it took.

he walked out the door and to jen's trailer. he knocked and waited for her to answer nervous that she wouldnt. but she did. thank GOD thought josh.

"hey" jen said not looking at him. she was wearing a pretty white dress that would probably blow in the wind if it was windy. it reminded josh of the first time he saw jen.

-XX-

he put some cologne on his wrists and pulled on the jacket he was wearing. then he looked in the mirror and fixed his hair. he felt like a girl but he wanted to look perfect before meeting his co-star jennifer lawrence. they talked on the phone a few days ago and he has instantly fell in love with her. she was so funny and comfortable with who she was. and josh knew she was gorgeous. he saw her at the oscars when she was nominated for winters bone. she was irresistible to josh even though he didnt meet her in person yet. but that was going to change in a few minutes if josh didnt die from his heart beating so fast that it fell out of his chest.

he looked at his watch and took a deep breath. if he didnt leave now he was gonna be late.

he left his house and got into his car and drove to jen's house. when he got there he couldnt help but laugh at the garden nomes in the yard of her house. they were cute just like her.

josh wiped his sweaty hands in his pants and rang the door bell. jen answered.

joshs mouth went dry when he saw her. even though she was wearing a super simple white dress she was still breathtaking stunning. her eyes were the bluest blue josh had ever seen. her lips were full. her cheeks were pink like she ran to the door or something, and she had a cute button nose. jen smiles and you could see her dimples.

"well what are you waiting for silly!!!!! come in the damn house its frickin cold outside hahah" she said.

josh did as was told and went Ito her house. suddenly he stopped and just looked at her. he didnt think it was possible to be more attracted to this girl but that was before he saw her in person. it was love at first sight for him.

oh god josh thought im inlove with a girl and i dont even know her full name.....

"uh.....jen???"

"thats mizz lawrence to you" she joked.

he laughed. "k so this is kinda super weird but i was wondering........ can you tell me your middle name????"

she looked at him silently for a few seconds before saying something. "shrader. my middle name is shrader" she said.

"jennifer shrader lawrence" josh said. and it was the most beautiul name hed ever heard.

-XX-

"hey......can i come in????" josh asked. jen nodded her head "yes" so josh went in.

"look josh about the other day........"

"its ok jen. really its fine like dont worry about it" josh said.

"i just really miss you so much. what happened in prague......im so sorry jennifer for hurting you. i didnt mean to hurt you. and i want us to go back to the way things were. please????? i dont wanna loose you.......... i love you"

"josh.........."

josh cut her off as he leaned forward and kissed her. to his disappointment though, she pulled away after a few seconds.

"josh..........we need to break up."

Chapter 3

"josh..........we need to break up."

out of all the things josh thought jen would say that did not even make the list. he expected that theyd need to talk some things out but.........

"....i....jen what?"

"josh its.....please dont look at me like that....i just think that were not the same people we were when we first fell in love.....i dont want to ruin our friendship"

she was right about one thing. they werent the same people they were when they first fell in love. the old jen would never do something like this to him.

-XX-

"oh you can do better than that!!!" jen yelled at josh as she flew through the air. josh laughed and pushed her back harder. his arms were getting kinda sore. who knew that pushing someone on a swing could be so much work??

"jen my arms are tired." he complained. "im gonna take a break"

"your WEAK JOSH HUTCHERSON. YOUR FUCKING WEAK!!!"

"well not all of us can be nicholas fucking hoult jen. maybe you should call him so that he can come push you" he said. but right after he said it he wished he didnt. it wasnt fair to jen. she didnt know how much it hurt him to see her with nick. and even if she did he didnt have a right to be mad. it wasnt her fault that she loved nick and not him.

"look jen im sorry" he shouted up to her. she ignored him.

he stepped back away from the swing and sat down. he watched her for a little while until suddenly jen let go of the swing and literally went flying through the air. he knew she did it on purpose because she was laughing like an idiot the whole way until she hit the mulch. but even then she was still laughing. josh ran over to her to make sure she was okay. her knees were scraped and her hair was messed up and had pieces of mulch stuck in it.

"i wanted to come sit with you but i didnt want to do the whole slowing down thing normal people do when there done swinging" she told him.

josh rolled his eyes and laughed.

"god dammit jen!!! you know i love you but you can be such an airhead sometimes!!!" he laughed. jen didnt. she stared up at him and met his eyes.

"you love me????"

josh started to panic. did he say that out loud???

"josh....do you???? love me????"

he couldnt tell if she was kidding or not. he could easily get himself out of this one. of course he loved jen. she was his best friend!!! but for some reason he didnt want to get out of anything. he wanted to tell her. there. in the hawaiian park under spring clouds.

"i.......jennifer how could i not??? ive loved you ever sense that very first phone call. sense i very first saw you. ive loved you every time weve laughed and every time weve fought. i loved you when you had a boyfriend and i loved you when i had a girlfriend. ive loved you during my proudest moments and my weakest moments. ive loved you during nothings and somethings and everything in between. so yes jennifer i love you. ive been hopelessly inlove with the girl in the white dress from the very beginning and will be right up until the end."

jen didnt say anything for a while. instead she just took his hands in hers and leaned into him so that there faces were pretty much touching. josh fought the desire to just lean forward and take those perfect lips into his own.

finally she said something. "so you DO remember what color dress i was wearing when we met!!!"

josh smiled. of course thats what she got from that.

"ya i guess i do"

"josh??"

"ya????"

"we broke up. me and nick"

josh tried not to look excited. not that he really was. he was just worried about jen.

"why would he break up with you??? your the most perfect girl in the world and if he doesnt see that then he doesnt deserve you!!!!"

"i broke up with him josh...."

"what???? why???"

"because i love you too"

and then like belle and her beast there lips met taking away the beast and leaving only a prince.

-XX-

"jen thats bullshit and you know it....." josh said to her. "you know i hate being lied to......why dont you just tell me the real reason???"

jen sighed not looking him in the eye.

"josh after prague i.....was hurt. you hurt me when you said no. it made me feel like you didnt love me and i......called someone who i knew still loved me....."

"huh??? who???"

"josh.....i called nick"

Chapter 4

"josh.....i called nick. okay?!? i called nick and one thing led to another and we decided to give our relationship another chance. im sorry josh. i didnt mean to hurt you......."

josh felt his eyes start to sting with salty tears. how could she do this to him???

"did you screw him???"

"what??"

"i said....did you screw him"

"josh......."

"answer me"

".....yes. but josh you need to understand that you hurt me....."

he didnt hear anything that she said after that. her lips were moving but there was no sound. he stared straight through her.

"josh........josh please say something......."

"you.....jen you *cheated* on me??" josh asked.

"it....we were on a break and i was hurting josh you need to know that please know that"

josh fell out of his daze after hearing that.

"god jennifer you are so full of shit"

"uh excuse me?????"

"and to think i actually felt bad about prague.... i called you 273 times after that jennifer. you didnt answer 273 times. and it turns out that was because you were too busy sleeping with someone else????"

"thats not fair-"

"actually i think it's perfectly fucking fair jennifer. god i worked my ASS off for this relationship. i felt guilty for those whole three months we didnt talk. i missed you. i just wanted to make things better and i was stupid enough to think that you wanted that too!! god im such a idiot!!!"

jen was mad.

"how dare you say that stuff to me??? do you think it was easy for me to not talk to you for three months??!?!" she yelled.

"well after what you just told me ya i do!!" he shouted.

"i thought we were taking a break!!!"

"you know what??? fuck our friendship. you fucking disgust me and i dont want anything to do with you. not anymore"

jen didnt say anything.

josh stormed out of the trailer taking jens silence as his time to leave.

-XX-

"jennifer.....im so sorry. i was scared. scared to leave behind the life ive worked for my whole life. im a coward and im sorry. i shouldnt have left you in prague. i love you"

"i know that your mad and hurt and i know that i made you feel like that and im sorry im so fucking sorry. i love you jennifer"

"its been a week now......jen your scaring me. im worried about you.....please call me so i know that your ok??"

"jen im going crazy here.....its been a month sense i last kissed you......touched you......or fucking saw you...... i know your ignoring me but..... stop ok?? i miss you"

"jen......the decision that i made in prague. i know what it looks like. i know that it looks like i chose being an actor over.......over being with you. but thats not what happened. how i feel about you is real. very very real. and i know that you know how ive felt about you for a long time..... i told you.....we told each other and......and.........look jen i know that i probably hurt you. your probably hurt that i didnt run away with you in prague........but jen......i love you. i love you and i cant live without you. so.......please call me back"

the smell of pool water and listening to his voicemails was making jen feel dizzy. she held the phone to her ear and tried not to cry. but what she and josh had.......it was over now. she was never going to let herself get hurt like that again. she was stupid to think that josh would ever run away with her. her fairytale of running away from the fame and getting married and having kids and just living.......it was never gonna happen. and part of her knew she knew it wouldnt happen before this but that didnt make it hurt less.

she took the phone away from her head and looked at it one more time before she threw it into the pool.

"hey babe who was that???" nick asked.

"no one" she said. she leaned down and kissed nick on the ear. "absolutely no one"

Chapter 5

josh was so mad at jen he didnt even know what to do. the only thing he knew was that he had to get out of here before he exploded. so he went to the only place he could think of.

"oh hi josh" jena malone said when she saw it was josh who knocked on her trailer door.

"hi jena" josh said. jena opened the door a little bit more. he didnt move.

"well what are you waiting for silly!!!!"

josh felt like he was gonna throw up when she said that. even though jena didnt know that that was what jen had said to him when they first met didnt mean it didnt bother him a lot.

"i.....actually was wondering if i could maybe......take you out tonight??"

she smiled when he said that.

"ya id love to!! just let me get my purse and we can go k??"

"ya sounds good"

-XX-

"josh??? what are you doing here??? its midnight!!!" jen said after she opened her hotel door to see josh standing there with daisies.

"tonights our last night in hawaii" he said.

"ya so we should be sleeping because getting back to LA is gonna take forever"

"no.....we should be walking to the picnic i set up on the beach for us so that we can sleep on the plane" josh said. he took a purple daisy and put it in jen's hair. after that he gave her them.

jen smiled. "alright lead me to it"

they walked down to the beach holding hands. josh loved holding her hand. it made him feel so connected to her.

"oh my god josh this is awesome!!!!!" jen said when she saw joshs picnic.

they sat down and started to eat. jen looked up at the night sky. the moon was full and reflecting on the ocean.

"this is the most beautiful thing ive ever seen" she said. she was looking at the full moon.

"sure is" josh said. he was looking at jen.

-XX-

"so where are we gonna go????" asked jena. they were in joshs car.

"lou's" he said.

"whats that????"

"a club"

"oh fun"

on the drive there joshs phone started buzzing and didnt stop.

"sheesh!!! someone must really wanna talk to you!!!" jena joked.

"huh....weird" josh said.

when they got to the club josh checked his phone"

37 missed calls from Jennifer Lawrence and 37 new voicemails. his phone started buzzing again.

josh glared at his phone before turning it off. screw her josh thought.

josh went inside the club and saw that jena had already ordered them some drinks.

"just a few shots" she said. josh smiled. this was just what he needed to get his mind off jennifer shrader lawrence.

it got later and josh and jena got more drunk. they decided to go dance on the dance floor.

josh watched jena dance and realized how pretty she was. he never thought about jena like that before because he was too busy thinking about jen like that. he got close to her and started to dance with her.

"you are so gorgeous" he said. she laughed.

"your not do bad yourself handsome" she said.

josh leaned in and kiss jena. he pulled her waist closer to him and she put her hands around his neck.

"do you wanna come home with me???" josh asked.

"yeah but were gonna have to wait because were both to drunk to drive" she said. "lets see i called her like 20 minutes ago to come get us so.... oh there she is!!!!"

josh turned around to see who jena was talking about.

standing there was jen with tears on her cheeks. she looked at him and ran to the clubs bathroom.

"whats her deal....." jena laughed.

josh didnt care about jen anymore. he couldnt care about her. and besides what right does she have being hurt when she was the one who cheated on him?!?

josh smiled at jena and kissed her again.

with each second he kissed jena he could feel himself thinking less about jen.

this was just what he needed.

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mst3kproject · 5 years

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1204: The Day Time Ended

Remember Charles Band and David Allen, who respectively directed and did the stop motion for Laserblast!? Remember I mentioned they made more movies together? Here’s one. I actually had about a third of an Episode that Never Was written up for The Day Time Ended when the trailer came out, and I debated what to do with that. I could have used it on the 23rd, like I posted the review of Reptilicus just before Season 11 debuted, but I decided it was more in the spirit of Season 12 to do the episodes in order one after the other.

A family, consisting of Mom, Dad, daughter Jenny, teenage Uncle Steve, Grandma, and Grandpa, have just moved into their new solar-powered ultra-modern-for-the-70’s house in the middle of the desert. There’s nothing like living a hundred miles from anywhere, alone under the skies without road noise or partying neighbours… until, of course, you’re besieged by aliens in the middle of the night. I will bet you cash money there are people who claim this actually happened to them, except they would probably say they just got probed and dropped back into bed, instead of their whole house being transported to another planet. What are the family going to do? Is there anything they can do, or will they be killed by the monsters and aliens lurking outside, or even by the space/time warp itself?

There are quite a few honestly cool things in The Day Time Ended. The tiny aliens that run around the house are cute, although not as charming or communicative as the ones from Laserblast! The two monsters who fight outside the barn at one point are similarly well-animated and have a bit of personality of their own. They look like something you might see in the original Star Wars trilogy. Most of the UFOs are merely lights zipping around in the sky but the one that invades the house is fun, with several moving parts and an overall design that looks, as Jonah and the bots observed, something like a Betamax Roomba. The final matte painting of the alien city is nothing special but the one that represents a sort of interstellar junkyard is detailed and blends well with the action.

The acting isn’t great, but it’s not terrible – most of these people were in something approximating a real movie once, and they do their best with what they’re given. The innate hostility of the desert landscapes underscore the isolation and danger the family are in. Aesthetically, The Day Time Ended works well and a lot of very good decisions were made.

It’s still a terrible movie, though. I bet you’re wondering what MST3K cut from this film to make it fit the time slot. I bet you’re thinking there must have been a scene like the one in Lords of the Deep where Chadwick tells McDowell about the aliens, or like the one at the end of Time of the Apes where EUCOM explains everything. Something in which somebody speaks to Mom, Dad, and Jenny and tells them exactly what the fuck is going on and why they don’t need to be afraid of it. Well, in the long and by now firm tradition of stuff MST3K didn’t cut… there isn’t. Never once do we have even the slightest idea of why all this is happening.

Being as The Gauntlet is the first time I’ve watched an entire sequence of the movies in a row before I’d seen the episodes, I’m beginning to notice patterns, and one rather prominent one is how little I miss the stuff that didn’t make the cut. It never interrupts the flow of the story. It’s only afterwards that I find myself thinking “hey, wasn’t there a bit in the car where they talk about Eric’s teddy having new microchips or something?” And there was, but it didn’t matter and it certainly wouldn’t have added anything to the experience if they kept it. The only time MST3K ever seems to have cut a scene that would have been worth keeping was the bit where Vadinho tells Tony he’s the worst Pumaman ever.

Unfortunately, this leaves The Day Time Ended without anything that might remotely be considered a plot. This story has a beginning, in which strange events plague the ranch, and an end, in which they reach a place of safety, but there’s no middle to speak of. The weird stuff going on escalates from lights to monsters to finally the entire house drifting through time and space, but it never even comes close to making sense. Nobody in the family is ever able to come to any conclusions about these events or to really try to take any action, and none of the characters have an opportunity to grow. We don’t even know if the little aliens caused the warp (perhaps to rescue the family from something even worse) or if they’re merely reacting to it. I guess it’s supposed to have been triggered by the ‘trinary supernova’ they mentioned on the radio, but by halfway through the movie I’d forgotten all about that.

It’s not entirely true that none of the characters know what’s going on. None of the characters we follow do. We stay at the house with Grandma, Grandpa, and Uncle Steve while Mom, Dad, and Jenny are all consumed by the vortex, and later we meet up again with the Mom who tells everybody else that there was nothing to fear. Within the movie this is just frustrating, because she never actually explains, but it is a little interesting when we’ve watched it, as I did, immediately on the tail of Lords of the Deep. In that movie, we were following Claire McDowell as she learned the truth about the glitter goo. In The Day Time Ended, we are in the shoes of her colleagues, dealing with a nightmare and having only her gut feeling to tell them there’s no danger.

This could have been kind of a cool take on the ‘chosen messenger of the aliens’ trope, if only it had been used for that. Jenny does, a couple of times, talk about the little aliens being her friends and seems quite unworried by the goings-on, but she’s five, and the adults have no reason to actually engage her in conversation about this. The Mom could have filled this messenger role, but she communicates with the creatures too late to affect the story. She’s merely a sort of deus ex machina by proxy, swooping back in at the end to reassure us that everything’s okay.

Is this movie trying to tell us anything? Possibly… Laserblast was supposed to be about how you can only push somebody so far before they start pushing back. That was fairly obvious in the narrative, but I’m not as sure about The Day Time Ended. I think it might be about how nobody can truly be self-sufficient. The family in the movie believes they have everything they need to cut themselves off from the rest of humanity, but this only leaves them vulnerable when the universe throws them a curve.

The introduction makes a big deal out of the house’s self-sufficiency. They have their own water supply, and with solar power they have their own electricity. They are therefore able to live far away from the noise, crowding, and lights of a city with minimal inconvenience to themselves, and they rejoice in this isolation. Then the vortex, wherever it came from, moves in, and their isolation becomes their worst enemy – they are unable to call for help, and help, in the form of the Dad, is unable to get to them. It seems like all will be lost until their unseen benefactors bring them all back together and guide them to exactly what they sought to abandon: a city.

Lucky them. The rest of us are stuck here on Earth while the ants enter Phase IV.

The thing that really makes me want to see dependence on society as an intentional motif is the bit where the Dad needs gas for his car and the man at the gas station goes out of his way to make sure he obtains it, despite the considerable obstacles presented by the weather and the power outage. He gets no reward for this help, he does it simply because it’s the right thing to do, and without his assistance the Dad would probably have never seen his family again. Our fellow human beings are not enemies we need to escape from – they are allies who can save us when we are in need.

And yet I’m still not sure. The house’s self-sufficiency may just be an explanation for why they can still turn the lights on when they’re trapped in the vortex. The isolation may just be to avoid having to pay for a bigger cast or more sets. The issue of where they get their food from is never addressed, and remains as their most obvious connection to the outside world. The family doesn’t really seem to be rejecting society, they just want to live a little closer to nature – the Dad even still has a perfectly normal office job. When danger surrounds them, they don’t try hard enough to leave or to call for help, or even to think about how this situation would resolve differently in a city.

The total lack of plot and character development, with only the ghost of a possible theme, leaves us with a movie in which it feels like nothing happens even thought a lot of stuff actually does, because none of what happens is meaningful. The strange events at the ranch have nothing to tie them together into a proper story, and as a result I find I can’t really remember them or what order they happened in. The only part of the film in which it feels like something was accomplished was the father’s struggle to get home, which started with a goal and a reason for the character to pursue it, and ended in success. The rest is just a muddle. It’s a visually impressive muddle at times, but a muddle nonetheless.

In summary, I think Leonard Maltin would have to give this one only two stars.

#mst3k #reviews #the day time ended #80s

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the-lupine-sojourner · 5 years

Text

Love Conquers Amnesia [Amnesiac!Eijiro/Takara(OC)]

Hiya! I saw This video and couldn’t help thinking about KiriKara (my name for the ship. I can’t think of a better one, so if you can, leave it in a comment below!), and this is the result! Anyway, in writing it and trying to think of a realistic way for Kiri to lose his memory, I kinda veered from the video when I meant to practically quote it, but I also like this version, so here we are! Also, if you want more domestic KiriKara, send an Ask or message me and I’ll totally write it (as long as it’s not smut. Sorry!)!!

Real quick before I begin, @dailyojiromashirao is pretty much on my permanent MHA writing taglist, cus they’re always so sweet and supportive! Love you! And maybe @elite-guard-hardygal would enjoy this, too?? IDK. Feel free to ignore, lovey!

Now that that’s done, I will only this before we begin; I hope you all enjoy!

God Bless and Good Day!

~The Lupine Sojourner

(P.S: This guy is my headcanon/faceclaim for Adult!Eijiro, btw. I haven’t seen Bleach, but I know he’s a character in that show. This is the face Kiri makes when he sees his waifu but doesn’t remember her yet. She startles him with her beauty! XD)

Statistically, it was probably more shocking that it took so long for this to happen, given our profession.

But, it was still very shocking to get a call in the middle of a daytime patrol. “Are you Mrs. Takara Kirishima?” The person on the other end asks. I gulp.

“Yes, this is she. Who’s calling?” I ask as politely as I can.

“The receptionist at Sanno Hospital. I’m calling to report your husband’s admittance.” Instantly, my heart plummets into my toes, and the temperature seems to drop below freezing.

“O-oh...I...Is he..?”

“He’s in surgery. We’re still unsure precisely what happened, but more details are emerging the longer we have him. The doctors are very hopeful, however.” I can’t help but not feel comforted by those words. Something could always happen. It only took one wrong move, one instant, for everything to change.

“O-okay. I’ll be there in around thirty minutes. Thank you.” I say, then hang up. I race back to my agency. The one Kiri and I shared, like everything else. I rip off my headgear and toss it into the locker along with my belt, all while calling out the situation, before sprinting for my- -our- -car. We were supposed to drive home together and have a family movie night with our five-year-old son, Senshi.

This wasn’t supposed to happen! Kiri had an amazingly defensive Quirk. How could someone have hospitalized him?!

=#=#=#=#=

“The story we’ve pieced together from the data we’ve collected is this;” the doctor explains when I arrive. “your husband was fighting an unknown villain, and somehow suffered trauma to the head, resulting in the loss of the fight, and…”

“What?” I press urgently. I needed to know!

“Well, with brain injuries...memories are the easiest to lose, we’ve found. It appears your body automatically purges memories first instead of the knowledge of how to breathe, for example. I’m sorry, Mrs. Kirishima, but there is a strong possibility that your husband won’t remember much when he wakes up.” I thank him for telling me absently, eyes peeking into the room, to Kiri laying still on the bed. “And we’re not sure when he’ll wake up. We hardly had to use anesthesia on him for the surgery; he was unconscious when he was admitted, but without any real indication that we could find as to why. I’m sorry.” I nod.

“Thanks for doing what you could, doc.” I murmur, walking slowly into the room. The man smiles sadly at me and leaves me to sit beside Kiri. His hair had to be combed down and messed around so they could run tests to see why he was still out cold, and the black hospital gown looked incredibly odd on him. His chest rose and fell rhythmically. It seemed to lull me into a doze, one I tried to fight without much luck.

=#=#=#=#=

It’s only a few hours later that I wake up, and Kiri still isn’t awake. I hold in a groan and stand, stretching out my back and arms that were sore from sleeping in the chair.

I wasn’t planning on leaving til Kiri woke up and I could ascertain for myself his condition, so I watch him. His chest goes up and down and the heart rate monitor beeps incessantly as time creeps by. It was unknown how long I sat there before I started to fall asleep again. I shook myself. I wouldn’t fall asleep again until I saw Kiri awake.

So I stood again, deciding to leave briefly to get a cup of coffee and call people. Mainly Ma, Pa (what I call Mr. and Mrs. Kirishima) and Katsuki. They deserved to know what had happened.

It went about as well as expected. They were upset (Katsuki vowing to roast Kiri for being so sloppy as to let that villain get a hit on him), but promised to get here soon.

I then got my coffee and headed back to Kiri’s room, only to find him standing and gazing at the sunrise out of his window, his IV pole clutched beside him.

I gulp. Time to see what was what with him. I grin and walk over. “Beautiful, huh?” I ask, sipping the coffee. He flinches, jerking his head to look at me.

“Yea- -uh...did...did the doctors send you?” He asks, stunned, cheeks red. I blanch. Of course. Memory loss was a high probability, the doctor had said.

“N-no.” I murmur, gulping the coffee to avoid talking. How was I supposed to deal with this?! How long would this last?!

“Wow…” He breathes, taking me in and smiling. “You must be the prettiest woman in the whole world.” It’s almost like he wasn’t aware he was talking out loud. I blush. Even without memories of our marriage, he was attracted to me.

“Thanks.” I reply, chuckling. It then drops. “...Do you know my name?” I ask tentatively. Eijiro frowns, scanning me again.

“...I’m sorry, but no...should I?” I sigh. Of course he wouldn’t remember...

“Takara.” I reply. “It’s Takara Kirishima.” There. I’d kinda told him. He’d have to piece it together now. His eyes narrow in thought, then go wide.

“Are you my sister?” He asks. I snort.

“No. No, I’m not.”

“Cousin?” I smile.

“Not a cousin, either.”

“...Then...what?” He asks shyly. I roll my eyes.

“I’m your wife, dummy.” I chuckle, ruffling his hair. He blinks several times, then grabs my left hand. I slip the glove I hadn’t taken off and he stares at the simple sterling silver band around my ring finger.

“...We’re married?” He exclaims, staring at my face now. I grin proudly and nod.

“Yeah. For almost six years now.”

“Whoa, really?! How do I not remember that?! Man, I hit the jackpot!” I chuckle, scratching the back of my head, cheeks scarlet. Wow...

“The doctors aren’t really sure. You were admitted to the ER unconscious and had to go into a brief surgery to try and determine what happened. They still don’t know, but my guess is a Quirk’s to blame.” Kiri nods.

“I have one, too, right? A Quirk?” I nod.

“Yup. You can harden your body using your body’s carbon. Downside is you can’t do it forever.” He frowns, then grins happily.

“I think...I think I remember that!” He cries. “I use it to fight, don’t I?”

“Yup. You’re a hero. You help a lot of people at our agency.”

“Our agency?” Eijiro asks, head tilted. I grin.

“Yeah!” Just then, I hear the door open behind us. I glance over and see Katsuki glaring from the doorway, only halfway out of his costume, as well.

“Hey! Shitty Hair! Remember me?!” Kiri turns.

“...You know me?” He asks. Katsuki does a double-take, then scoffs.

“Right. Forgot. You let a villain hit you with some dumb memory loss Quirk. Your wife called me. I was closer than your parents are, but they’ll be here.”

“Oh. Thanks.” Kiri murmurs, looking at Katsuki’s outfit. “...Are you a hero, too?” Katsuki flinches in irritation, then deflates.

“Yeah. So’s your wife, dumbass.”

“Katsuki, thanks for coming, but don’t be mean.” I warn. I knew, however, that this was just Katsuki being Katsuki. He didn’t really mean it.

“Ground Zero, right? That’s...that’s your hero name?” Kiri suddenly asks, eyes lighting happily. Katsuki smirks.

“Finally, you remember something!” I roll my eyes.

“He remembered his Quirk and that he was a hero before you got here.” I point out.

“I don’t remember my hero name, though. Or yours, Takara. Sorry.” I wave that aside.

“No worries! You wanted to model your hero image after Crimson Riot, so you chose Red Riot as your hero name as an homage.” Eijiro’s eyes light up.

“Oh, right! He’s so manly and hardcore! What’s yours?” I chuckle and rub the back of my neck awkwardly. It always sounded weird when I explained it out loud.

“Well, I’ve always liked foxes and wolves, so I chose Kitsune as my hero name.”

“That’s awesome!” I laugh.

“You had that reaction the day we chose our hero names, too.” I reminisce fondly.

“Yeah, back when you two made dopey heart-eyes at each other in class and we all pretended we didn’t see and wanna puke.” Katsuki adds, scoffing and crossing his arms. His smirk betrays his happiness, though.

“Really?” Eijiro asks, eyeing me.

“We-well, it was more like I made the heart-eyes and then, ah- -do you recall something called the USJ incident? It happened almost nine years ago…” Eijiro frowns.

“I...I think so. We were in some huge building, right? Combat training?” I shake my head.

“No.” I grimace. Even now, the memory was painful, my ribs recalling that day easily. “We were supposed to be doing rescue training.” I murmur. “Then villains attacked. My mom nearly died. She was our teacher.” Eijiro frowns.

“Oh. Right. I was the one who found you, right? Against a fountain with a nearly collapsed ribcage?” I nod.

“Yeah. That was a tough week.” He nods.

“Ah, you babies got over it.” Katsuki muses. “If you ask me, that’s when you two nerds started liking each other and making everyone around you nauseous with your mushy attitude.” Eijiro then blushes and tilts his head, scratching the back of his neck.

“Uh...Takara, I’ve been meaning to ask...do we have kids?” I smile, pulling my phone out. I pull up a picture of Senshi at his fifth birthday (just a few weeks ago), sharp teeth on display as he grins at the camera.

“Yeah; a son, Senshi.” My hand goes to my stomach subtly. I’d planned to tell him the revelation I’d had this morning, the one still waiting on our bathroom sink. But not now. I’d wait til he had more memories to tell him, though. Eijiro stares at the picture for a long minute or two, gently taking my phone.

“He’s just like me…” He murmurs. I nod.

“Yeah.” His black hair came from his father, but the large brown eyes were from my side. It was adorable, and an instant recipe for success on his end when he gave me the infamous ‘puppy eyes’. “He’s a good kid.”

“Yeah, that brat’s alright.” Katsuki admits, scoffing a little. Surprisingly, Katsuki handled Senshi well. He wasn’t usually too forceful and angry with the kid. He’d really come a long way since our high school days, when he’d terrified any child that dared look at him wrong.

“I can’t believe we’re married and have a kid..” Eijiro murmurs thickly, and I notice tears on his cheeks. “How could I have forgotten you? I’m sorry, Takara...I’m so sorry…” I hug him, tears forming in my eyes.

“Eiji, it’s okay.” I murmur, rubbing his back as he clutches me. “It’s not your fault.”

“If I’d just taken care of that villain, none of this would’ve happened.” Eijiro sobs. I blink.

“So...you remember?” I ask, drawing back just enough to look him in the eye.

“Bits and pieces. The more we talked, the more I remembered. The picture of Senshi was like the final key.” He says. “That guy’s Quirk wasn’t affected by my Hardening, and it only took a touch for it to work.”

“Great, you remember, now stop dancing around each other and kiss already.” Katsuki grumbles before I can react. I laugh and hug Eijiro again. He’s blushing as we part a few moments later.

“...Can we?” He asks. “Can we kiss?” It was exactly what he’d said, the morning he’d confessed. We’d gone sunrise hiking and he’d asked that as we watched the dawn unfold. I smile and play with his hair, just like I had that morning.

“Of course you can.” I reply, continuing the reenactment, and he all but tackles me in elation, kissing me so eagerly, I’m pretty sure my lips are swollen and bruised.

“Oi! I know i told you to kiss, but come on! Knock it off!” Katsuki growls. I smile into the kiss and deepen it, knowing it would piss Katsuki off. Sure enough, he growls and is stalking over when Eiji pulls back to stick his tongue at Katsuki.

“Oh, lay off!” He replies. “You’re just jealous cus you’re still single.” Katsuki growls and grabs the front of Eiji’s hospital gown.

“What did you say?!” Katsuki growls.

“Oh, good; I see we were worried for nothing.” Comes the voice of my mother-in-law. I look behind Katsuki and wave.

“Hi, Ma!” I call. I generally call Mrs. Kirishima ‘Ma’ or ‘Mama’, and Mom...well, ‘mom’. “Turns out, Eiji got hit by a Quirk that knocks you out and gives you amnesia, but it’s nullified by showing the victim photos or talking about the missing memories, evidently. He remembers.”

Ma nods. “Thank goodness.” Eijiro hugs his parents.

“Hey, guys.”

“Hello, Eijiro.” Ma replies. Pa smiles and ruffles his son’s hair.

“Gave us quite a scare there, son.” He says. “But, of course, you pulled through!” Eijiro nods.

“Cus Kirishima men always win!” He says proudly, fist-pumping his dad. I roll my eyes. That was part of the reason Kiri was so upset in Middle School; his father encouraged bravery and manliness in his son and when Eijiro failed to act in that attack, it whacked his self-esteem.

But, over time, he’d become every inch a brave, manly hero. And an even better man to be married to. I side-hug him and squeeze his side reassuringly. “And the Kirishima women will always support their man.” I add, chuckling as Ma nods.

“Agreed. Knew I liked you when I met you, Kara.” I grin.

This was what we’d always have; a family to fall back on, no matter how bad or weird things get. Family is priority. Always.

Crappy ending is crappy, but hope you liked the rest! XD

#bnha kirishima #eijiro kirishima #Eijiro Kirishima X OC #Eijiro Kirishima X Takara Yamada (OC)#Amnesia #Fanfiction #OC #Original Character #MHA OC #BNHA OC #BNHA #MHA #My Hero Academia #Boko No Hero Academia #Aiming for Fluff #Might've missed the mark tho

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