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vex91 · 10 months

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Ahn Yujin - Regular customer

Pairing: Ahn Yujin x Female Reader

Fandom: IVE / IZ*ONE

Summary: Who would have guessed that meeting a rude customer would end with you finally being able to talk with a customer who's face you already became familiar with.

Warning(s): Annoying ass men, Swearing?, Just annoying ass men just like I said before

A/N: Yujin fluff won the poll so here you go guys, enjoy😘

3rd's POV

"It's only been 2 hours since I started my shift, why does it already feel like it's been a whole day?" Your friend Sooyoung looked at your already tired form plopped over the counter. Laughing Sooyoung lightly pushed you up from the counter so she could talk to you face to face, laughing more when she noticed your closed eyes "Is it that bad?" You opened your eyes to look at her "I mean it's not that bad but my wrist starts to hurt again" You looked at your wrist and started rubbing it gently with your other hand.

"It's starting to hurt again? Maybe you should go to a doctor again, it's kinda worrying how it's not stopping after such a long time" Nodding you made a mental note to go to the doctor as you as you could. You've only been there twice after the incident. Long story short, you had an argument with now your ex-boyfriend and during it he damaged your wrist pretty badly. The pain lessened with the amount of time that passed plus the medication that you used helped too but it started coming back even stronger, despite you trying to hide it from everyone, your friend always knew you better than you thought she did.

"What the hell is that!" You turned your attention away from your friend and to a table where the loud voice came from.

Five guys probably in their 30s occupied the table, one of the guys managed to get attention of the whole Café when he yelled "I'll check this out" You started standing up when Sooyoung stopped you "Are you sure? They don't look too friendly" She was right. They looked like the kind of guys who weren't afraid to start a fight if they wanted to but still you knew that Sooyoung wasn't the best when it came to confronting people and your manager had to go out for a few hours. Other workers also weren't looking too keen to intervene so you knew that you were the only one that could do this right now.

After sending Sooyoung a reassuring smile, you walked over to the table. Honestly these guys smiles send shivers down your spine but just to be nice you gave them a fake smile "Something's wrong sir?" The guy pointed to the cake that you gave him earlier "What's that?" Confused you looked at the cake not understanding "What's that inside the cake?" Still looking you finally noticed the nuts inside the cake.

"Umm... nuts?"

"Yeah nuts. I'm allergic to nuts, why the hell are there nuts in this cake?" You furrowed your brows at him, not understanding his complaint since earlier he literally asked you to give him a cake with nuts inside "Sir I don't understand. You ordered a chocolate cake fully knowing that there were nuts inside" Hearing that he started laughing loudly "That's funny, really. You think that I would have order a cake that could kill me? If I had knew that there would be nuts inside I wouldn't have ordered it" At this point you weren't sure if he was joking or not.

"I want to talk with your manager"

"No can do. He's out right now"

You got tired arguing with a man who clearly just wanted to eat for free or get a discount for the next meal so you turned around after rejecting his request again and started going back. Or at least you tried to until this guy didn't grabbed your wrist making you hiss at the pain "Don't you dare walk away from me" Hu turned you back around so you could look at him again. His grip tightened making the pain in your wrist even more unbearable.

"Hey! Get the hell away from her" Suddenly the man's grip on you disappeared as you saw him getting pushed back and away from you. Someone stood in front of you, stretching their arm out in front of you in a protective manner. In front of you stood a tall girl, she didn't looked that much older from you. She had long brown hair and that's practically everything you could see from your position as her back were turned to you when she was facing the man.

"Don't you think that you're too much?" Her voice sounded familiar. When the man tried to get to you again, the girl pushed him away but this time in a direction of a door. This action made you able to see her face and you immediately recognized it. She was a regular customer of the Café, she often came here with friends or alone and most of the time you were the one taking her orders.

"Listen man, you should probably take your friends and leave before something bad happens to you" The guy only laughed at her words, that was until he saw two strong looking men standing in front of the Café. The girl seemed to know them and was about to call them but the guys got scared and left, yelling out empty threats in yours and hers direction.

When the guys left the Café and the girl was sure that they weren't about to come back, she turned her attention back to you "Are you alright? It seemed like he squeezed your wrist pretty badly" She looked at your wrist, a worried expression showing on her face as she came closer to you and gently took your wrist to observe it more closely. The interaction left you flustered, not expecting a cute girl to get so close to you.

Focusing again, you took your wrist away and looked at her "Thank you for your help. Can I get you something to eat or drink? It will be on me" Seeing that the girl was about to refuse you continued "Let me do it. I want to repay you for your help somehow. That's the least I can do" This convinced the girl as she decided to take you up on that offer.

The girl's name was Yujin and she was an idol under a company that was close by. That's probably why she came here so often, she didn't had to go far. She was in a girl group called IVE. You were never too much interested in the music of the newest groups, you pretty much listen to older songs more often but you did hear some of IVE's songs because they were practically everywhere.

You talked with her during your every break and truthfully you liked talking with her. Her personality and humor entertained you during your shift and made you want to get to know her more. It also looked like she wanted it too. When the time came that she had to go back to the company, she asked for your number that you gave her and she ran out yelling a quick I'll text you later and sending you a wink that left you blushing.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Hearing the bells ringing you turned your head to see who just walked into the Café, a smile already forming on your face at the sight of Yujin who already had her eyes fully trained on you. Your eyes fell down and onto her left hand that she so desperately tried to hide from you. When she noticed you looking at it, she gave you a please go along with this look and laughing, you looked away from it.

The taller girl made her way to you and plopped down on the chair on the other side of the counter that you were leaning on "The usual?" A simple nod of her head was enough for you to start making her usual order. Yujin's eyes followed your every move as she observed you with a small smile. Her eyes landed on your wrist that looked much better than during your first meeting. It made her happy that the treatment was working and your wrist was getting better.

Soon you placed a cake and a drink on the counter and took a seat in front of her "Enjoy" You smiled at her "Oh I sure will" Yujin took a bite of her cake and made an exaggerated sound to signal how delicious it is. It immediately made you laugh which made Yujin's heartbeat speed up.

Oh how much she loved that laugh.

"So mind telling me what you were hiding from me earlier?" Your question reminded Yujin of the gift that she had for you. Until now it layed comfortably on her lap, waiting to be revealed "Oh right, I nearly forgot my today's goal" This made you confused, was there a specific thing that Yujin wanted to do today?

Your eyes widened when Yujin revealed what she was hiding. It was a beautiful bouquet of your favorite flowers. After clearing her throat Yujin looked at you nervously, that was the first time you've seen her like that "So Y/N, I actually meant to tell you something today. I really like you, ever since I first saw you here I knew that you were special. That's why I started coming here so often. I tried to talk to you earlier but I got nervous everytime and I only managed to do that when I saw that guy hurting you, it pissed me off. I'm glad that I stepped in though because now I am able to confess my feelings to you. If you don't mind would you maybe go out with me? Also here these are for you" She handed you the flowers.

You were stunned.

Her confession took you by surprise but honestly? You were happy, so incredibly happy. During the time you and Yujin were becoming more and more close, you started catching feelings for her so hearing that they were returned was relieving "Yujin... I like you too. I'd love to go out with you" Yujin smiled at your answer and took your hand in hers. She kissed the back of it a few times before pulling it closer and kissing your wrist. The action left you flustered which Yujin noticed. She smirked at you and your only response was taking your hand away, kissing her cheek and quickly going back to work.

"We can discuss the details of that date later alright? Now eat up because from what I know you need to be back at the studio in 20 minutes"

You were looking forward to that date later but maybe somewhere else other than a Café.

#vex writes #ive x reader #ive reactions #iz*one x reader #izone x reader #iz*one reactions #izone reactions #ahn yujin x reader #ahn yujin

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gardenofcarnations · 2 years

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Damn, like really.. I’ve been in a drunk like trance reading through your fics. They’re honestly amazing!!

Ive been dreaming of a fic where you’re friends with sap, just broken up with your boyfriend and just extremely frustrated bc he’d never ate you out of even made you cum. sap gets mad and want to help you out by treating you right. He makes you cum more times than you’ve had in the last year.

Like darling, I’m so caught up in your works and i honestly think you are the one to bring my dream to paper. Ive never asked for a writer before but i hope you like the request!!

Keep up the good work<3

Oh my god! Thank you so much! I can't form into words how grateful I am for the recent support. I did my best to fulfill your submission, I hope you enjoy it! This was quite fun to write ;)

Also "Sinners" by Ari Abdul & Thomas Larosa was playing as I wrote this submission and it helped build the imagination lol!

“Fuck you too! Cheating ass bitch!” you scream, tears welling at the brim of your eyes. You slam the door on your now ex-boyfriend’s face.

3 years down the drain in an instant.

All because of a girl from the club he worked at.

You and Damien had met at a college party back in your first year. Damien was charming to say the least, he had a good sense of humour and that heart throbbing smile that balanced out his lack of a personality and shit mannerisms. On the outside, to everyone else, you both looked like the hottest couple.

Although, behind closed doors, you both argued over every little issue that irked him.

You didn’t have dinner ready when he came back from work? An argument.

You took too long to get ready for an outing? An argument.

You didn’t clean the house you both shared? An argument.

You didn’t want to have sex? You didn’t want to suck his poor excuse of a cock? An argument.

He wasn’t always like this. Damien had somewhat redeeming qualities about him like the fact that he was caring from time to time, he would take you out on expensive dates and get you pretty necklaces.

He got you one in particular that read “mine forever.” and it was the sweetest thing you ever had someone do for you.

Sweetest thing until you saw the girl that was wrapped in the sheets with him wear the same necklace.

It was so sad it came off comedic sat this point.

You were so drained and frustrated with yourself, sacrificing your mental health and well-being all for a half assed excuse of a male. You packed your clothes and left the keys of the shared apartment complex on the bed that you caught them in.

Damien was well aware that you wouldn’t stay in the same house anymore, at least he had some sort of brain cell in that empty head of his.

Salty tears blurred your vision as you struggled to wipe them away, driving down the highway at a whopping 180km to your best friend’s house.

It would be the best thing for you as of now.

Sapnap was bewildered to see you at his front door at 4am in the morning. He rubbed his eyes to get a better look at you before greeting you.

“Dude it’s four in the morning why—“ He choked on his words, reading your heartbroken expression and noticed the tears that streamed down your red cheeks, your nose was a bright pink from rubbing your hoodie over it to wipe the snot that dribbled down.

He wraps a hand around your waist and pulls you into the house, “Hey, Hey, what’s wrong? What happened?” he asked you words laced with concern and sympathy.

You walked over to sit on his living room couch. He shuts the door and walks over to sit beside you. “He— He was in the bed with her…I—I just came back from work…and he was, they—“ You sniffled out.

Sapnap didn’t need to hear the rest to understand what you were talking about.

He pulled you in for a tight bear hug, or, in his words, a panda bear hug. He rests his chin on your head, rubbing your back to soothe your cries on his shoulder. He hushes your sobs in attempt to comfort you.

After a while, it worked.

You calmed down and soon the sadness settled it’s way into the midnight rain. Sapnap stuck with you through it all, making sure you weren’t left alone in such a state. He suggested you lay down in a more comfortable area, he recommended the guest bedroom, and you took it. He suggested that he would help you move out your PC equipment tomorrow morning, he also kept a mental note to rock Damien’s shit before leaving the house for good.

You were in the middle of stripping off your shirt when Sapnap walked in with a bottle of cold water, “Y/n, I brought this just incase you get thirsty and—oh.” His head snaps to your back side, the way your hair fell on your shoulders, the subtle tones of your back, and the curvy, slim, or thick figure of your body made him weak in the knees for a moment.

He clears his throat after noticing you hadn’t heard him come in.

“Oh! Sorry, I was thinking I could change, my shirt’s a bit drenched from snot and…” Your gaze falls to the floor.

“Of course, don’t apologize, it’s all good. Do you need a shirt or?” He asks you while setting the water bottle down on the nightstand.

“Actually, I’m good, I brought a few clothes.” You respond slipping on a larger shirt that loomed over your figure. Something Sapnap picked up on that wasn’t your daily attire.

“I didn’t know you were a fan of…ACDC…?” He reads the faded printing on your shirt.

Your eyes flash on the print and then back at him, “Oh, yeah, no, no this…this isn’t mine.”

Sapnap perks an eyebrow, “Who’s, uhm, who’s is it then?”

You look around the room, anywhere but his eyes, the embarrassment eating at your insides as his name slips out of your mouth. “Damien’s.”

The silence flourishes the room, Sapnap shuffles in his steps before turning to leave the room. “Goodnight Y/n–”

You yell out of instinct, “Wait!”

Sapnap turns around and tilts his head, “What?”

“Can…can you stay with me tonight? I don’t wanna be alone.”

Now, at this, the male could’ve let his jealousy shine in the silver moonlight and say “Well you have your boyfriend’s t-shirt, so you won’t be as lonely.” However the look in your eyes before and after crying your heart out diminished the growling anger in his chest. He walks over to the other end of the bed and lays down. You follow.

Your backs are facing eachother, the tension in the room is still lingering, but not as strong, it seemed to be like this with Sapnap a lot, you’d find yourself feeling rather relaxed in the quititude. Even when he’d be focused on editing or filming or school work back when you two were younger and all that could be heard was the soft breathing and occasional scribbling of the pencil or typing of a keyboard, Sapnap’s presence alone could calm you in an instance.

“He wasn’t worth it.” You admitted outloud, now letting your raging thoughts pour out one by one.

“Yeah?”

“Yeah, he was a selfish prick, always got what he wanted like…there’s should be some sort of balance somewhere, right? God…” You groan out, “I can’t believe I let that shit happen for 3 years. I don’t even remember finishing a single time we had sex.”

Perhaps that was a bit more than you wanted to share but with the sudden burning feeling you had inside of you, you didn’t care.

Although, Sapnap was bewildered to hear such a statement slip out of your mouth, he flips over and makes eye contact with your backside. “He never…made you—?”

You shake your head, “It was only sex when he wanted it, obviously I consented but only cause I figured sex was a mutual pleasure thing not just…it’s fuckin stupid. I’m sorry I didn’t mean to…”

“No, no don’t apologize,” Sapnap could regain a sudden dejavu where he said the same thing on different occasions.

He slowly places his hand on your hip side. You didn’t think much of it, you both were comfortable with close proximity, you melted into it.

“He never made you cum, that’s…what a shame.” His tone starts slipping, more slurred, whiney, as if mockingly sympathizing for you. His hands move lower to caress your thigh. Sapnap’s lips were now inches away from your ear.

“Sap…Sapnap?” You call out to him in the night.

“If you’d let me, I could make you cum more times then that asshole ever did in the past three years you were with him, Y/n.” He lowly whispered into your ear, the words shot straight down to your core, the sudden ache you never knew that was there began throbbing, in a good way.

He kisses your cheek, you turn to lay on your back and finally see Sapnap leaning over you, he knows his boundaries so he doesn’t want to overdo it.

“Please, I can make you feel good–I want to make you feel good.” He notices how his voice came out more whiney and needy than intended so he chews on his bottom lip to stop him from going any further. He patiently awaits your response.

You gaze at the shadowy outline of your best friend, you knew you had some sort of treasured emotions for Sapnap, specifically for Sapnap, but it had died down the day you met Damien, you couldn’t risk loosing the friendship if you confessed so having Damien present himself in the (now rusted) shining armor he did it help you move away from Sapnap.

You regret it all now, seeing as he cared about you deeply.

So much so he was practically begging to get a taste of your pussy.

Why say no to such an eager boy?

“Okay.” You nod your head and get ready to sit up but Sapnap stops you by placing a hand on your chest and pushing you down so your laid on the plush pillows.

You’re confused by this, but Sapnap makes himself clear by slipping between your legs, helping you spread them far enough to gain access to what he needed.

“I told you I wanted to make you feel good, so lay down and relax, okay?” He reassures you in a soothing manner, you nod your head and shift to get comfortable and prepare for what was about to happen. “Has that bitch ever eaten you out?” He seethes through a set jaw, slowly slipping your bottoms off and throwing them behind him.

His fingers slowly come in contact with your clothes pussy, the tips of his fingers trailing with just enough pressure to feel it trace patterns back and forth but also whimper at the lack of action. “I asked you a question Y/n.”

“No. Never. He never ate my…” Sapnap pulls your panties down to your ankles and you shove it off.

He leans down see how perfect and wet you already were for him, he felt himself smirk in pride, you were wet for him. He loved everything about that, he coats his tongue in your juices, licking a long stroke up, essentially testing the waters. When he felt you shiver and immediately go to grip something, he laughs.

“Fuck, you’re sensitive.” He chuckles out, watching how your eyes were fluttering. “I want to fucking ruin you.” He blurted out.

“Then do it.” You respond as quiet as possibly, but Sapnap caught every syllable.

He dives back down between your legs and ravishing your cunt, licking, sucking, and kissing in all possible patterns he could think of on the spot, you loved it, you loved feeling his warm tongue on you, you loved the way he knew how to move, just the right amount of pressure, you loved how you could feel the slight stubble of his facial hair tickle the inner of your thighs which oddly made you shiver in satisfaction.

Sapnap was a natural at eating pussy.

It was his favourite thing to do, you would know this because he would talk about his one night stands with girls after a party and how’d they be writhing against his lips.

Similar to how you were now.

Practically riding his face, a hands pulling at the strands of cinnamon hair. He was a whore for pain and pleasure, so feeling you not only tug on his hair and shove his mouth into you, the feeling of your soft thighs wrap around his head made him want to cum right then and there.

He pulls away after you moan out strings of curses calming down from your first orgasm that hit a bit quicker than you wanted to. Your body was beginning to feel heavy, it felt so good.

“I’m not done with you yet, baby. Take that fucking shirt off, it’s a god damn eyesore.” He growls lowly, you waste no time tearing it off you and tossing it away from the two of you.

Sapnap’s olive eyes snap to your body, he takes in the view, relishes in it.

“You’re so beautiful, I’m so fuckin jealous that he got see all of you before I could but…on the contrary…” He kisses your lips softly, a hint of aggression, but you were to expect that of Sapnap. He gropes at all parts of skin and nibbles on all possible flesh he can get onto.

His hands slips down to your cunt once more, letting his fingers tease over you enough to have you claw and his shoulder. “He didn’t get to dwell in the pleasure of fucking you properly.”

“Sapnap–”

“That’s not my name.”

“Nick–”

“Close but, not close enough, baby. You can do better than that. Call me by my name.” Sapnap slips a finger in, curling it up slowly, and when he feels more arousal drool out of you, he slowly slips in another to which you finally moan out.

“Nicholas, oh fuck!” Your grip on his shoulder doesn’t loosen, but Sapnap loves that.

His fingers pick up pace, he goes to kiss along your neck, and then to your tits. “Does this hurt? Do you want me to stop?” He asks you, now using his thumb to rub at your clit, your eyes were rolling at the back of your head, hair a mess, all you could do is shake your head. Sapnap wasn’t satisfied at all though.

“Words, Y/n, I need words from you.” You struggled to tie the sentence together feeling another orgasm builds it’s way up into your core. Your body spasmed, and your eyes shut closed.

“You’re not responding…I think I’ll stop…” His movements grow slower, and you scream out.

“No! No! Please…Don’t, don’t stop.” You shove your face between sapnap’s right shoulder and neck. He feels your heavy breathing and butterfly kisses. He had to hold back from letting a moan out himself. “Please, it feels so good. Make me feel good. You’re so…fuckin good, Nick.”

He loved hearing your praises, it did things to him he couldn’t explain, he wanted to be good for you, he wanted to satisfy to no end, and with you already close to your second orgasm he let you have it.

“Cum for me, Baby. You earned it.” Sapnap ghosts above your ear, you let out groans tied in with whimpers as you came another round, feeling your legs shake under him as you did so.

He lets you relax, setting you back down on the pillows and kissing along your stomach, and lower belly. “Feel good?” He asks.

“Amazing.” You breath out.

“Good, I’m no where near finished with you so…”

“There’s more?!” You question him with an astonished expression. Sapnap laughs as he helps you sit up, this time, laying down and looking up at you.

“I want you to sit on my face.” He ordered you, his eyes studying your expression to see your reaction to his request in the dim moonlit bedroom. “Ride my face, I can’t get enough of your taste. I want more, please, can I have more?” There’s that needy voice again, one that made you suddenly feel at charge, something you both knew you needed.

You position yourself above his face, slowly coming down, watching Sapnap make hungry eyes at your cunt, parting his lips and sticking his tongue out, ready to devour you once more, you held onto the headboard for balance, not wanting to put all your body weight on him, in fear that it might hurt him, or that he’d have trouble breathing, but Sapnap didn’t care.

If anything, it pissed him off.

He locks his arms under and over your thighs, and pulls all your weight completely onto him.

“W–Wait, Nick I don’t wanna hurt yo–” He cuts you off mid sentence by moaning into your cunt, which sends the vibrations straight to your clit and into your nerves. You let out a clamorous gasp. Your hands tightening their hold on the headboard.

You let your body do the rest of the moving, pleasure and ecstasy possessing your mind and body as a whole, you were drunk off it, bucking your hips forwards, grinding against his face feeling his lips and tongue move effortlessly move against your sopping pussy caused your head to throw back in euphoria as you felt yourself build to orgasm a third time.

“Mm, Nick, sl–slow down I’m gonna…” You try to warn him you were nearing your end but Sapnap took it as an implication to fasten his pace.

He was relentless with your body, with you, how badly he wanted you to remember how good he made you feel, in hopes you’d finally notice him and what he could do for you now and these past years you’ve been best friends.

“I’m gonna, oh god, I’m gonna cum, Nick, Nicholas, shit, shit, fuck!” You chanted out his name like a prayer, slurring out the lewdest of noises between each word that left your mouth as you felt yourself unfold and let loose on him. Sapnap groans out feeling your cum on his face.

It took you a couple of moments before you came to a relaxed state from your third orgasm of the night. You slip off Nick, seeing the shiny slick he hd that trails from his lips, chin, and neck. “Fuck, you just squirted on me.” He laughs, licking his lips.

Your eyes widened, “Oh shit, I’m so sorry I didn’t mean to–”

“No, don’t worry. That was hot as fuck.” He reassures you, kissing your cheek.

For a moment, you both stare into each other’s eyes, you grab his face, feeling the heat radiating off his face onto the palm of your hands. He’d perplexed before realizing that you’re inching closer to his face. In a swift movement, you lock lips with your best friend, Nick. His lips are soft and tender, the lingering taste of your past arousal is now on your tongue. In a way, it was intimate.

When you pull away, Sapnap is just in pure awe with your beauty, he’s gazing at your eyes and how the reflection of the illuminance of outside is shining over your face. He loved you. And you loved him too.

You notice a look that falters his expression for a moment.

His eyes are misting with lust once more, hunger, want, need.

“You’re not done…are you?” You stand corrected when Sapnaps hands trail to your waist, fingers digging into your skin. He pushes you back onto the mattress and towers over you with a confident grin.

“Nope.” He says before giving you the best night of your life.

#submission #sapnap x reader smut #sapnap x reader #sapnap smut #sapnap #smut #dsmp smut #mcyt smut #dream team smut #dteam

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gurokatt · 4 months

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hey, me again. I only just noticed you got around to my ask and felt the need to follow up.

it feels like... you didn't really read it? sorry to be blunt, but given that you seemed to reply to things I outright said I wasn't accusing you of, it just feels that way.

examples above ^^^ with highlighted screenshots being things I said and non-highlighted being your replies. there are other things I could have pulled as well, but I didn't for brevity's sake.

in any case, on recent updates I've received, as well as your own addendum to your initial reply, I feel I either haven't accurately made my points clear or they were misconstrued in some way.

I don't think that you word-for-word copy and paste things into your final, published fics. I said as much the first time. but you have said on multiple occasions that you take ideas from others and paste them into your outline. I also said that this wasn't a problem in and of itself, because it's not. but when the ideas you're basing fics off of are as hyper-specific as they were, it can't really be written off as a "same common trope." those people deserved credit at the very least, and preferably to have been asked permission in thr first place before their ideas were put into your outlines. personally, I've written multiple fics for another fandom that were based on ideas from friends, or tropes I'd seen in other fics. you seem to think that this is what i and others are taking issue with, when it's not. the difference is that, according to at least one instance, you've neglected to obtain proper permission to be using these people's ideas.

I think that there's more nuance to the question of whether you are a "plagiarist" or not. I wouldn't say no, but I would say a hard yes, either, because this is a gray area.

what I think you need to do is look through your existing outlines and find the sources of the ideas you pasted in (whether by discord term searching or however else, I don't really know where else you talked about them), and then at the very least, credit those people in your fics. the people whose ideas were used should not be under an obligation to figure out which works were lifted from their ideas and reach out to you, because they aren't the ones responsible for their ideas being lifted.

any and all harassment you're receiving is unhelpful to either side of the argument and I hope it settles soon.

- anon

Hi thanks for your response.

Dyslexia and currently bad mental state have made it harder to remember what i have and haven't read. So i am sorry for the response i made before.

You're right. in conversations about people i talk to about my fic ideas i have copied/pasted their thoughts they gave to me about their ideas usually i have asked "hey can i put this onto a document" but there may have been one or two times where i did it without asking

[these have probably been when im asking people for ideas for my own fics, whether its changing scenes/backstories for SAW 3D or character stuff]

It has been so long since i worked on the outline but I should have written down whose idea is whose. I plan on going back through my outlines and fixing all of that.

I have gotten carried away. this is the first time in any fandom ive written more than 2 fics for. I have taken ideas without meaning to and then forgot where i had taken them from.

for that I am deeply sorry and apologetic. this is what i want to change and fix from now on.

I really do try to credit as well as i can for my ideas. but I obviously need to get better at it.

Out of the current wips that i have started writing. one fic is based on an rp. another fic is based on a comment i got on my puppy fic and another off of that with expansion and more angst. [notes on who these people are have now been credited for when i ever get around to writing them]

i have 15 main fic ideas.. and even more that are just concepts.

The timeloop fic i will give to my ex friend. because the original idea is his and I have been hesitant on working on it for a while.

You're right and I worded what i said horribly in the last post.

I have been talking for hours with a person about this. and I have realised what I have done. the harassment i got did no help except make me defensive and lash out.

It's only after i have gotten constructive criticism and told what i have done that I realised my mistake.

I am autistic, i dont like using mental disabilities as an excuse for what I have done. I am saying that it has been a REASON for this happening in the first place.

but i wont lie and say that i have done any of this maliciously. I have forgotten things and remembered them as if they were my own thoughts.

This is of course not an excuse, things have slipped through the cracks and I never noticed them until people pointed it out and were rightfully angry at me.

I don't know if any of my current published fics need another credit. I try to credit when i can. this includes editing and beta reading.

The ideas I have posted have largely been my own [fool me twice being a tumblr prompt my friend suggested months ago]

It turns out the majority of the fandom [and then some] do not like me, I doubt i'd ever be able to fix everything. But i want to try. I want to apologise to everyone ive hurt or made it feel like i've used them

#long post #at this moment i may need a few days just to think about this information #its a lot #this is the first time this has ever happened #thank you anon for talking to me professionally and explaining your points #i really hope i got everything down

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goth-oatmilk-latte · 10 months

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is there a story behind meeting new Mr oatmilk that you want to share w the class?<3 (ps he sounds like a well deserved upgrade)

sure!! so btw he took the photos of me at the cemetery/my current pfp!!

him and i have actually known each other for probably like 6 years or so. when we first met, he was married and we didnt really talk we just had a lot of mutual friends bc we like the same music and go to a lot of the same shows and we would just see each other in passing. he ended up telling me he was intrigued by me bc i had done a photoshoot and my pfp when we met was me holding a butcher knife in a wednesday addams outfit, and he said he knew i had to be an interesting person from that alone. he is quite shy though. we would also see each other places but never really said more than hi to one another. he got divorced in 2020, we talked a little then, but not really. then he dated his now most current ex, more or less bc she basically cornered him into a relationship while he was just getting over his divorce and homegirl needed a place to stay. hes told me he regrets it and said he literally should have kept trying with me bc being shy with me would have been a hell of a lot better than how things worked out for the 2.5 years of abuse she put him through. (his words)

last year we started talking a lot bc he was posting a lot of concerning stuff to his insta private story and so i kind of talked him thru his abusive relationship he was currently in and he mentioned he really needed a close friend. we ended up becoming gym partners for a bit before both our now exs went batshit over it and our friendship as a whole. and we stopped talking for a bit...and then we would talk a little here and there. and we both mutually agreed we were both in shit relationships.

around may, he texted me and told me him and his ex finally broke it off after months of him trying (long story) but he still wanted to at least be my friend again bc he missed me a lot. and i told him i was also dealing with more or less trying to leave my fiance. this is actually around the time i found the flashdrive full of nudes from other women ex mr oatmilk was keeping from me. and i finally left mr oatmilk after he tried to go thru my phone while i was in the shower, which prompted an argument about why it didnt matter who i was friends with bc he couldnt stop entertaining other women and i even pulled out the flashdrive and was like yeah im done.

so me and new mr oatmilk started hanging out more. he would go on walks with me after work. or we would go back to being gym buddies. or we would grab dinner. go to a bookstore. i helped him pick out stuff for his new apartment.

i asked him if he wanted to go see the cure with me at the end of last month and he surprised me by paying for a 2 night hotel stay for us instead of us just driving 2 hrs. and thats also when we went to the cemetery to walk around bc he knew id like it. thats pretty much when we decided we were actually an item.

i helped him move into a new apartment last weekend. and tonight im surprising him with making him dinner. ive pretty much stayed over since he moved in, which is funny bc he got a smaller bed than he would normally get bc he originally told me he didnt wanna feel lonely since it's just him...but he has only spent like one night alone since living there lol.

whats really fucked up tho is his ex is always trying to instigate with me...from doxing me in a bar bathroom, to literally driving by his new place to see if i am there. and shes friends with my ex now too. she's harassed me via text and social media, too. but it's fine, i dont usually engage. which pisses her off.

him and i are happy 🥰 hes honestly lovely.

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menalez · 2 years

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I agree with anti suicide as man-hating is intrinsic to feminism because anger is a natural reaction to your oppression. This emotion is the driving force behind any social justice movement, without it, there would be no motive. So I think its natural for some of these women to get offended by that take because the trauma and consequent anger theyve suffered as a result of patriarchy were guiding forces to awakening to misogyny and accepting radical feminism in their lives. At the end of the day, you can love women as a class, but you do not need to love a woman to fight for her rights. What was that about feminism being for even the most vile woman? Many of these women have had shitty female relatives and friends that they might despise, but their hatred and anger of men and their male supremacy is their driving force to be passionate feminists. Also, i dont understand that ask that said it must be OSA women disagreeing with you— wouldnt OSA actually agree since theyd be the ones more likely to center males in their lives? Wouldnt they be more inclined to say that “man-hating” shouldn’t be the root of feminism? That didnt make much sense to me. Women often talk about their hatred of men because its unacceptable to do so in other spaces. Radical feminism is meant to be a space in which we can vent our frustrations with male supremacy. As for your comment about women who both hate men and women— well, those women arent feminists then. Theyre excluded from radical feminism by virtue of being misogynists so it wouldnt render your argument null. I hope this makes sense. Im trying to be civil

i addressed everything u said in other reblogs and posts but

1. didn’t say anything against man-hating. im literally a man-hater. i just don’t think the basis of one’s feminism being hating men is gonna work. loving women should always come first when it comes to fighting for the rights of women

2. said nothing against having emotions. loving women is an emotion, and it’s a motivating one. didn’t say anything against hating men, once again it just shouldn’t be the root of one’s feminism. nothing wrong with it as a secondary aspect of ur feminism but when it’s all about hating men and women come second then how is that even feminism anymore

3. it honestly feels like a slap in the face how many OSA women saw that im a lesbian and then used that to act like i haven’t been abused, raped, harassed, and oppressed by men. once again, ive said nothing against hating men nor against being angry at ur oppressors and it’s honestly offensive talking to a woman w PTSD as if she doesn’t understand that trauma first hand

4. i literally meant loving women as a class… no one can say there isn’t a single woman they dislike. im constantly talking about my ex and how she abused me like it’s not like im expecting anyone to love every woman otherwise they can’t support women’s rights. but how are you gonna fight for the rights of women when u don’t love women as a class? if u don’t centre that love for women in ur activism for them?

5. u don’t understand that ask saying OSA women are the one disagreeing with me because you didn’t check and see they are in fact OSA women who are angry with me because they were recently hurt by a man and assumed i was saying they aren’t allowed to be angry at men. nowhere did i not all men or justify men or say it’s not ok to hate them.

6. “well those women aren’t feminists then” you guys really can’t read because i literally said that hating men does not a feminist make and a true feminist is centring women and loving women before anything to do with men. that’s it. and after someone repeatedly making it clear her issue is with lesbians and “ssa radfems” and using that as her basis for attacking me, the same exact person u said u agree with here, maybe don’t try to tell me this has nothing to do with homophobia and being OSA

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ebdanon · 2 days

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something is off with me because im not sure why you were worried about where i was going with the story 🥲 i mean i know its a shitty story but i never expect anything horrible to happen

and yeah there's never been a single reasonable parent between mine and my husband's parents lmao while his dont care about arguing in front of strangers as long as the scene looks like they're the victims, mine have always strived to appear perfect in front of strangers. i met my in laws a couple of months after we started dating, i was invited over for dinner, and my mil had no problem starting a screaming match about some local politician's election promises. on the other hand, i met my best friend over a decade ago, when her family moved to the apartment next door to my family's. the building is structured in a way where we shared a single wall across half of the rooms, e.g. my and her bedrooms were separated by a single wall, and if we felt like hanging out, we'd knock on that wall to let the other one know lol her family never knew about a single raised voice or argument or anything in my family despite those things happening regularly, because all those things happened in the room that was most remote from all other neighbors, so that my parents could continue presenting a pristine image to the rest of the world. now both sets of parents are irritated with us because we never have arguments, since we're able to sort out any misunderstanding calmly and quietly - no malice, vengeance, or ego - because we both understand how bad they are from growing up in a similar way. we both saw one of those "its not you vs me, it's us against the problem" quotes and took it to heart lmaoo

funny story, i feel like fate or the universe was involved in us meeting because it turned out we'd been orbiting each other's lives and friend groups the entire time before we first saw each other, which is kinda weird. like both of us being at the same time and place, but never seeing each other. ive seen pictures of us at the same parties in bars, separated by a table or two. or even just hanging out with friends, my friends had a preferred bench at a local park, turned out so did his, and it was literally the one 30ft away at the same park. we knew each other's friends but never actually saw one another so we could meet until we were in our 20s lmao the universe kept saying "not yet" till we grew up 😂 quite literally, my other best friend knew him personally but i never even saw him until years later lmao

anyway, a day after the whole shitstorm argument, and we have my mil twisting everything to fit her worldview. for example she claims she never called me a piece of shit, she was actually calling my husband that, despite me literally quoting when and how it happened, it's being turned into me "misremembering" despite it happening multiple times, but i only quoted one situation, but its fine because that's what narcissists do lmao

the fact that you WERE surprised i was worried is concerning 😭

also thats very sweet with your husband, the invisible string of it all 🥺 its crazy how you can orbit someone for years and not even realize it. i remember one of my best friends and i discovered we were at the same party one night our sophomore year of college and completely missed each other. i was there with my shitty ex roommates and met some people there who were also not the greatest to me but sometimes i think i needed that to get to where im at now

also my mom does the same thing tbh but idk if shes doing it maliciously or actually has memory issues 😭 girl had insomnia and lack of sleep can fuck your memory. but it drives me NUTS

#asks #lore anon

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thissithhappens · 1 year

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how the fuck am i supposed to NOT tell you that i love you when you make a point out of remembering my weirdly specific preference on car radio volume that i only told you about once, weeks ago?? don’t get me wrong, you haven’t really had to tell me your favorite things more than once. plus i write them down either way. but FUCK. to be that known, that INTENTIONALLY known and committed to memory???? over something so small???? BRUH. bro. homie. my guy. i told my last ex some of the most traumatic shit that happened in my adult life and he either completely forgot about it or made it worse. you…. you….. GOD you’re such a child about some things but the way you take me in…. the way you smile… the smallest things entertaining you…. you are a simple man but you’re no dummy. you do pull on my heartstrings in ways most people haven’t. i can get mad at whatever communication issue we have, but how can i not come home to someone that says “I figured you’d want a home-cooked meal since you live alone.” is it bullshit, manipulation? i’m pretty sure i’ve learned my lesson on intuition at this point, plus some of the communication we actually have had. it’s funny because I know I’m different from the other girls you’ve been with. And you championed yourself to me as different from the other dudes. Well, at least in terms of the ones that i fuck with, you’re not wrong. Not in the slightest, and that’s one of the reasons I do fuck with you so much. You satisfy a certain need that nobody before you has fully been able to access. My horoscope said that I’m “not difficult, I just need someone to reach out to the hidden part of me and take its hand.” You said you didn’t like pictures because your mom always forced you to take them. I told you I understood, and told you the story of the forced tears. I don’t tell that story often, but I was almost desperate to tell you. It’s not that I need any more details…. and maybe my situation didn’t totally compare to yours…. but I just wanted you to know that you’re not alone. WE are not alone, if we have each other. I’ll take on the whole world with you— when we’re comfortably silent, I have room to sort through some things in my head. You do give me a sense of stability and reassurance that just changes everything. I ask you to do something differently, more or less, and you do it. Especially when you know I’ve logically backed you into a corner; you’re good at it too, but I’m just a touch ahead on that one. You’ll never know my mother— you had to be capable of assuring yourself that your perceived reality was the real one. It’s funny how gaslighters usually don’t have a realistic perception of their life and what’s around them. i know ive made a big fuss about men before you that do or say things nobody else has, but I’d like to at least think some of them with you are more than just the bare minimum. Sometimes when I think of us I just imagine us doing a circular dance around a mirror, taking turns fading in and out of the glass. I so badly want to tell you everything, all the time, then when you ask i fucking choke. I just don’t want you to get tired of me. I don’t want to fall back into codependency. I want to open up while still maintaining appropriate and proportional boundaries. You’ve mentioned a couple of things about forever even in the midst of my anxious reactions. That’s what fucks me up— outside of close close close family and friends, who does that for me??? We could be a family. I want to return all the grace you give me, I want to tell you about it. I saw the way you blushed even when I mentioned that we’d been together for a month now. Even though it causes conflict, I do kind of appreciate how most of our arguments are just about when and how we spend time together. Shit, we’ve been arguing since the first month of knowing each other. It was kinda weird to go to an ER vet trip with someone you didn’t know that well yet. We argued about proper care and steps forward; later on, I was told by an outside source that you chose the safest route solely because of my opinion.

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bitter-hibiscus · 1 year

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hav a good sleep and good luck spending money !!!!!!!

okay okay i might have mentioned this to you before but because there's already the foot clam and then rise added the council of heads i think it would be rlly funny if all the different hidden city/yokai related 'factions' were named after different body parts especially the. the arms dealers. so like a lot of these gangs are joining together after the kraang left the hidden city a little bit shaken up theyre unifying they may even have the beginnings of stronger tech

so the hamatos are stretched pretty thin they're getting worn down on all sides and big mama js a very prominent antagonistic force on the day to day bc shes taken to having grunts film their fights with the various gangs to hold over her audience between nexus fights as rise in technology means alternate means of entertainment means less buisness for her. or something i actually hadn't thought of the details of big mama before typing this out but they confront her and she ends up injuring either raph or april haven't decided yet

tension is high around the lair bc no one has really had time to recover emotionally from the kraang and they're out fighting constantly (casey is actually p normal about it bc all he knows is fighting. casey needs therapy probably) so like they're all pissy they're all one bad day away from snapping

getting heavy inspo from the donnie betrayal arc from the idw comics my best friend the idw comics donnie thinks that forging an alliance with big mama is the only way they'll get the upper hand. leo is like violently against this because raph/aprils wounds are still fresh literally and figuratively and he absolutely does not want donnie giving his resources to whats in his eyes enemy #1. donnie disagrees and thinks that her influence in the hidden city and ability to find people and know when fights are happening would be really useful leo orders donnie to stand down (leader moment!!! so proud of him) but donnie refuses point blank. things escalate when donnie reveals hes already spoken to big mama and they've worked out a deal and it turns into a family wide argument

leos side is raph (im leaning toward raph for injury reciever i think. i just feel bad fridging him after the movie already did) april (april donnie fight!!! i also just dont think she would trust big mama) and like most of the 1-2 time appearance side characters. maybe casey sr too? but i could see her hoping mama can like get normaler because that's what she did. what are your thoughts on this

donnies side is mikey (who loves a redemption arc and wants to look out for donnie) casey jr (he probably knew mama in the future when there was literally no choice but to be allies) and draxum (dont get me wrong he HATES big mama but he agrees with donnie that shes useful to them + he likes mikey best) also todd. he gives them lemonade

splinter is probably more of a mediator than anything he would love for his ex almost fiance to decide to turn to good but he wants to trust the judgement of his eldest and the son he made leader so he stays with them and lets draxum watch donnie mikey and the gang

so donnie and mikey (+ co maybe) take up temporary residence in the hidden city probably in the battle nexus hotel. haven't decided if one of them has to fight in the nexus but it would be neat

they also 100% meet big mamas assistant who was very heavily implied in the show to be a turtle that was left in the lab and captured by big mama. it is venus she shows them secrets and shit and is like plot relevant and stuff

tagst mostly what ive got in my little brain so far im bad at wrapping things up so im not really sure how that would go yet. i do thibk its really funny that like half of donnies side are looking at big mama like omg i could fix her and he is telling them to shut the fuck up and draxum is solemnly nodding in the bg

OH HOLY SHIT I LOVE HTAT. I LOVE THAT SO MUCH

I think Cass/Casey Sr would be against Big Mama but only because one of the turtles would've told her about what she put them through and she'd be like AH! A WORTHY OPPONENT! BUT AN OPPONENT NONETHELESS!

#sprout ask #i love this AU so much

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lilyliveredlittlerichboy · 2 years

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hm ok i know it was ages ago but i still wonder which way my ex is spinning the story tbh. i mean i know some of it?? he is portraying me as abusive and predatory. why? cus i lost my shit with him a bare handful of times? cus i didn't continue to treat him like i worshipped the ground he walked on, after he abandoned me and got married to someone else?

abandonment.

i built my life around him, accommodating him, caring for him. that's on me, yeah. ive learned since to not do that so much. but i was in my early 20s, still very young, when i met him, i didn't have a solid grasp of myself, much less my boundaries; which i could not set or enforce. in fact, a lot of my ex's behaviour was aimed to erode my boundaries. he needed to be included in everything. he needed to have my attention, constantly. if i wasn't giving him attention in the ways he wanted me to, it was always my fault.

so then he took off for a month and during that time left me adrift.

and I've been afraid of changing

cus I've built my life around you,

and then when i tried to be in contact during that month, he shot me down and accused me of guilt tripping him... for doing exactly what he wanted me to do literally the entire rest of the time.

when he got back, it was the perfect storm. he was married, had had a taste of the life he wanted to live. a life that didn't include me, at all, he had made that very clear in his behaviour towards me during that time.

he said he didn't owe me anything.

that was the moment i decided that well, in that case, I didn't owe him anything either.

and the months following that were awful, as he found ways to punish me for this. interspersed with joy the likes of which I'd never felt before - as I decided to come out of my cocoon and move on a little bit myself. as i fell in love with my now feyonce, i, too had a taste of the life i wanted.

and with my ex blaming me, bitching about me loudly where i could (& had to) hear, whining about how he just wasn't a priority to me anymore, somehow i felt disinclined to invite him into my new life, my newfound joy.

it turns out that if you tell someone that you won't be taking their needs into consideration anymore, that you don't owe them anything, they might end up not wanting to make you the number one top priority in their life anymore. huh. fancy that.

he punished me for it relentlessly for about 9 months before finally leaving.

in his side of the story, i had abused him.

had deliberately kept the relationship unequal (even when i actively empowered him to get his own income. even when i encouraged him to have his own life, pursue his now wife, pursue other friendships and relationships).

i had enabled his drug addiction (which he already had when he met me; it was medicine for him you see. if id pushed him to give it up that would have been held against me just as much)

had been violent (once grabbed his arm during an argument. and then when he was married and i found out that his WIFE thought we weren't sharing a bed/room anymore, i told him to get out of my room. i threw his clothes in the hallway once. SO VIOLENT)

I'd insulted his wife by calling her ugly (he called her ugly first and i routinely got punished for disagreeing with him)

i was a nonce (we were both adults when we started dating)

I was disrespectful of his boundaries (his boundaries were "i don't wanna hear about 🐻" and then "you violated my boundaries by not telling me you were going out to see them", his boundaries were "you gotta look after me and help me out even if im being an absolute shithead to you in the process" and "you can't talk to my friend, our mutual housemate" and "you can't rant about this situation on twitter" and "you can't go to see your partner for a park date". yeah)

possibly he's also saying i stole his cat or even cut him off from seeing pictures of him (he left malibu in my care willingly, acknowledging and admitting i was gonna be a better cat parent for him. i never said he couldn't approach me for pics and even now wouldn't shut him out if he asked)

anyway

yeah this post about boundaries got me thinking about him again for some reason. my life is so much brighter without him in it and i regret nothing??? if he wants to see pics of the cat he's more than welcome to ask for them. i would be happy to share. Malibu is so happy these days. a confident, loving, playful little boy. he's in excellent health and loves to chase string and he loves his sister so much. he loves 🐻 so much. he's so happy.

that's my takeaway from this. my cats are happy. they love my partners and they love me. that's all i need. t b h.

#i need a tag for my own rambles #apologies for the rant #still not over this tbh

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bringmyselftobed · 2 years

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lease renewed in august

Three years ago from yesterday i was celebrating my engagement. We were at stormking in new windsor upstate new york. two of three figures in a grass field. I shared the moment with a richard serra sculpture we had just been admiring, well he admired and i admired him admiring. Those little corrections seem to matter so much now. We went to a little tapas bistro in lower manhattan that night to celebrate, one he mentioned he had been to before with his ex so he knew it would be good. I kept the receipt and still have it buried in a box of artifacts on my dresser i wouldn't dare to open. I remember the drunken uber home pleading with god to let me get all the food i had just engorged on back up by any means necessary. I dont remember if we had sex or not, i remeber not being able to get all the fried octopus out of my stomach. It was the first vacation i had been on in 4 years.

In about three weeks give or take i will be considered a year practically recovered from bulimia.

In about three weeks give or take, one year ago, i was moving out of my house. My mom came over and let me lay my head in her lap, she told me i had to be the one to leave. In common daughter and mother practice i defied her for arguments sake. My only argument being denial. I wanted to hold onto the house forced upon me, committing to my life being one big larp of house wife and arguments and getting too drunk to even remember making up. Where i thought i could be comfortable. I really did love him though. Like a stray beaten dog loves its foster family. I thought he could save me and i thought he was the only one who could save me. How would you feel forcing that stray dog back onto the streets? Thats what i thought he was doing to me. My friends had a spare room and i promised them it would be max 6 months until i figured all this shit out. In about three weeks give or take i will have been here a year. They helped me pack my shit, drove cars back and forth with boxes, loudly declared “no we got it” every time he offered his help all while I couldnt even mutter a word let alone bark. I let him keep our cat we adopted together fearing hed grow to resent me if i held my ground. My mom was the only one who told me to let him keep the cat, and for some reason i didnt argue with her on that.

Bulimia was a center point of my life and identity long before we got together. it was my main focus for our entire relationship too. And i could say something hardly profound about how the day he broke our engagement off was the day i finally stopped binging and purging. Although I think not saying it keeps it still profound and weighted in my head. But in hopes of humoring the reader, i think the true weight, the lies he told me, the situations i couldnt make up if i tried, finally didnt matter. I didnt have to worry if he was going to cheat on me with my friend anymore. I was released from this karmic cycle of insecurity and bottom line that drove me to insanity. All the fights about it didnt even fucking matter anymore! And i was thankful! In a weeks time of being out of the house i had a calgary of beautiful friends i would have never known were there, a widened circle of people who wanted to hear me talk, laugh at my jokes, i was telling jokes again! They heard me laugh as they heard me cry and you cant always get friends like that, you cant always be as lucky as i was. As i am.

This year, right here right now, im on day three or four of my first quarantine with covid. See i told ya im lucky. And im writing something i want to be proud of for the first time in 3 years. And im remembering how easy it can be, and that it doesnt have to be painful it just has to be honest. I hope i let people read this one. My roommate just brought me some dinner she made, knock knock its outside dont forget to put your muzzle on to grab it! Ive never felt love like this.

And if i were to think of a year from now, id like to hope id let myself fall in love again. And i know that it wont feel like saving and it wont feel like pressure or shame. And after a year im flooded with what feels like a lifetime without him. A lifetime of two very bad hookups, parties where everyone complimented my cooking, doing yoga in the living room with anna, coffee dates with morgan, crying at my serving job, getting drunk with nick and sidney, smoking weed and completely wigging out, learning how to make a career from logan, and feeling her tough love, dancing and stealing flowers from neighbors with cayla, laughing until i pee with shelly, understatement of the year, ordering clothes on the real real, crying in the car with my mom, making out with lippy, then telling lippy i didnt want to make out when the coke wore off, deciding i didnt wanna do coke anymore, making out with whatever random lunged at me in a club, deleting hinge and redownloading and deleting again for good i think (a couple weeks ago), ordering clothes on depop, a couple insatiable internet crushes, falling asleep on the couch, rewatching game of thrones twice in 3 weeks, sleepovers and new tattoos in my kitchen with jacob, reminiscing with ana about music wishing i saw her more often, watching romcoms with tori in her attic apartment, and laughing with austyn, in the middle of a crowded italian restaurant which is clearly understaffed all because i made him do lady and the tramp noodle. getting free dessert and never even considering how id get it back up. Thats what a year feels like, a lifetime.

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velvet-crystals · 2 years

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thoughts of the week

i always think about my ex best friend who ghosted me back in january, two months before my wedding. there was no warning, no argument, she was even at my bachelorette party the previous october and she didnt seem to have any issues or didnt seem uncomfortable. of course you know people are always good at hiding what they really feel. you would think though that after being friends for over a decade that nothing would be off limits, at least i felt that way. i go through waves of being really sad, and then really angry. i miss her all the time. she has a son whose life i wont be a part of anymore. I cant recall a time where i ever shamed her, or was unsupportive. and the time that we did have a tiff we didnt talk for like two weeks but then we made up.

i keep going back and im still looking for something that i did or might of said to make her leave. she had told someone else that she was pissed off that she didnt get any pictures of herself even after spending so much money on the trip. the fact is that she spent 90% of the trip inside her room sleeping because of endometryosis and a migrane. all of this i understood and i left her alone because i just wanted her to have fun and relax.

im so pissed off because we had always been ride or die for each other i was always there for whatever life threw our way. i was the first one over when her grandmother was found dead in the snow in lake taho. i was the first one she called when she found out she was pregnant and didnt know what to do and i told her whatever you choose i will be there to support you a million percent. through all her ups and downs i was there, always. and it kills me.

anyways, ive been thinking about her alot this week. and im going to talk about it over and over until maybe one day im at peace with it all.

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princessdemo · 2 years

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The medical love - mason mount.

HI GUYS,,, I APOLOGISE IN ADVANCE. THIS FIC IS SO LONG :O SO PLEASE IF U DONT LIKE DONT READ LOL! ALSO,, I DIDNT PROOF READ OR CHECK OVER SO IT IS VERY POORLY WRITTEN :( LET ME KNOW THOUGH WHAT YOU THINK PLEASE. also,,, major credits to @rashys my pretty girl, for helping me come up with the cutest idea. i hope ive written it okay <333333 also, singledad!fic and nurse!reader

“Come on sweet, we are going to be late!”

For Mason, single parenting has been a mixture of a emotions. The sleepless nights had him tripping over the ball in training, the countless roars of tears had him wanting to pull his hair out and the arguments with a newly 6 year old had him questioning his mistakes. None the less, little Delilah Mount has changed the world for him, and he couldn’t thank her enough.

Mason had become a single father after his ex decided she could not take on the role of being a mother at such a young age. This left mason stranded and the up bringing of his daughter on his behalf. To begin, he found himself on the phone to his mother with his eyes shut and temples drawn together from stress, questioning how to fend for his screaming baby to when will this end? As the years have passed, he has adapted to being a father of his own little girl, trying his best to impress her in many ways. No doubt, Mason wouldn’t let anyone apply lipstick to his lips, or paint his nails. But to put a smile on his little ones face, he’d do it in a heartbeat. He’s still experiencing his journey through parent hood, trying to navigate his way past the obstacles. Guilt often played on his mind, worrying he hadn’t done enough for her or he had been too harsh, but he was always reassured by his family, friends and teammates that he was doing an amazing job, and they weren’t lying.

“Daddy, It’s your fault we are late.” Delilah rolls her eyes, as Mason closes his car door to open hers. “That’s a lie, you was the one who didn’t want to get out of bed this morning.” Mason replies, grabbing her football boots from the car floor and squeezing them onto her feet.

“You drive to slow. That’s why we are late.” The young girl argues back, pouting her lips as Mason brushes the toast crumbs that have fallen from her mouth onto her clothes. He unbuckles her seat belt and grabs her Chelsea football bag, insisted by Mason of course, and moves to the side for her to hobble out. Placing the bag on his shoulder, he locks his hands with Delilah, before running over to the pitch.

“So sorry, we are late,” Mason breathes heavily, dropping Delilah’s bag over with the other children's. “Somebody didn’t want to get up this morning.”

“No worries, Mr Mount. We were only about to start. Del, can you find a buddy to work with?” Her coach replies, smiling down at the younger version of Mason. Whatever any of his children’s aspirations are, he will always place football as a priority. He’s extremely pleased with himself that he had managed to encourage Delilah to participate in weekly lessons, allowing him sometime to work on himself without the 6 year old running round his feet. He’s not too sure yet if she's a fan, either way he’s happy she’s started somewhere. Even if that means she is more of a watcher rather than a competitor.

“Can daddy have a kiss?” Mason smiles, bending down to the little ones level. She reaches over, placing her arms round his neck, before smooching soft kisses over his face. “Bye, daddy.” She giggles, jumping up to go search for a partner. “Bye sweet.”

———————————————————

Once Mason arrives at the training ground, grabbing his boots and essentials from his car. He makes his way into the building, fist pumping the staff he passes. As he walks to the men's changing room to place on his boots, he feels his phone vibrating in his pocket, his ringtone booming forcefully.

Sliding his phone out his pocket, eyes puzzled at whom was calling him, it takes him a moment to work out the number, before realising the phone contact appeared to be Delilah’s football coach. His eyes widen before stopping in his tracks to answer the call.

“Hello?”

“Mr Mount, It’s Ben here, Delilah’s coach.” Her coach starts, pausing to take a breath. “Delilah’s taken a nasty tumble to the ground.”

“Is she okay?” Mason gasps, voice thick with nerves.

“Yes okay, just looks like she might need,” The coach breathes, “Medical attention.”

“Oh my,” Mason yelps, his words struggling to form. “I’ll be there in 5.”

“Thank you Mr Mount.”

As the phone call ends, Mason quickly scatters out the training centre. Trying his best not to dodge into people. As he makes it to his car, his heart feels as though it may burst out his chest. His breathing fast and uneasy. Within no time he has made it his daughters football club, partly due to him speeding through the traffic lights.

He sprints over to the field, nudging people out the way. His heart breaks at the sight in front of him, a wave of guilt rising in him. He wishes he had never taken her in the first place. He just want's to go back to that morning, the pair cuddled in bed reading a story.

The sight in front of him causes tears to form in the corners of his eyes. Delilah was sprawled on her back, her chest heaving in pain from her foot. Her coach was placed by her side, reassuring her Mason would be coming in any minute.

“Let him through, let him though.” The assistant coach calls, herding the small bodies out of the way. Mason lowly hears hushed whispers of little voices whispering in panic, wondering what was going to happen to their teammate.

He drops himself by her side, grabbing hold of her hand and giving it a comforting squeeze. Tears are flowing down each side of her cheeks, and he raises his arm to softly wipe them away. Delilah, whom was staring up towards the overcast, fog-ridden sky, peers over to Mason, eyes settling on her comfort.

“Del,” Mason hushes, hands brushing the hair that has fallen in her eyes out of her way. The little girl lets out a small, tight whimper of pain, teeth gnawing at her lip to try and halt the tears flowing in front of her friends. Her cheeks appeared a light rosy colour, the coldness from the breeze effecting her from the lack of body movement.

Masons eyes travel down her body, looking for the part that was causing her such discomfort. He doesn’t want to look, fearing the worst. However his eyes catch onto her foot, noticing the bone poking out from her body abnormally. Thankfully, there was no blood, as that would of put them in an even worse situation.

“Dada,” Delilah chokes, turning her head in Mason’s direction. “You're here.”

“Yeah sweet, came here as soon as I heard.” He decided to leave asking what happened until he knew she was okay. Her health always came first in his eyes, his number one priority.

“Has anyone called an ambulance?” One of the coaches called out, shuffling around the pitch.

“Daddy! I don’t want to go hospital,” Delilah whimpered, knowing to get to hospital you rode in an ambulance from Paw Patrol. “I want to go home,”

“I know, I know.” Mason nods his head at the girl, “You are okay, bub. Doing so good.” He breathed out, still keeping a tight hold on her hand. Her head nestled in his lap, hands threading through her locks.

“It hurts,” She whines in pain, tears sliding down her cheeks for Mason to brush away. “It hurts really bad.”

“I know bub. Keep still okay. You are doing so so good.” He kisses her forehead, placing his hand on her cheek and rubbing circles in comfort. “Here, have daddy’s coat, keep you nice and toasty.” He shuffles out of his coat, placing it over her shaking ice cold body. “Better?”

“Nice and warm,”

“Mason, here’s an Ice pack to place on her foot,” One of her coaches holds up the pack from his first aid bag, waving it in Masons direction. He thanks him in response, letting the man place the cooling sensation on her foot to numb the pain.

“Is that better Del?” She yelps when the cold comes in contact with her skin, “Ow!” She cries, trying to move the coldness off her foot, her cries edging to get worse.

“Sorry sweet, here keep it on okay? It will help, I promise.” Mason nods again at the coach for him to replace the ice pack back onto her foot, her nails digging into his skin as a response. “Promise?”

Mason nods, “Anything else hurt baby? or just your foot?” He asked gently, wanting to get answers to let the paramedics know, as well as letting him try his best to ease her pain.

“Just my foot, daddy.” She whimpers, “I cant.. feel..” She paused to let out a cry, “I can’t move my foot!”

“It’s okay, sweet. It’s okay.” Mason coaxes, wrapping his coat round her body tighter, “Just stay really still for me.”

In the background, the whir of the ambulance’s sirens flood through the ground, flashing lights catching the attention of all. The paramedics flew out the vehicle, running over to meet the two in pain. They greet Mason and Delilah, explaining to the young girl what they were going to do. Once they have checked her over briefly, they gather her for the ambulance.

“Del, we are going to ride in the ambulance! Can you believe that big girl?” Mason tries his best to make the situation as calm for her as possible, coaxing her in reassurance. Once she is situated in the ambulance, the paramedics begin to give her some heavy pain relief, consequently causing her to fall asleep. Mason keeps a tight hold on her hand, brushing his thumb over her knuckles. He wishes he had someone else by his side to reassure him everything will be okay, but for now he will have to fight through this alone.

Once arriving at the hospital, they take Delilah for an X-ray to find out what the cause of her horrendous pain was. “It looks as though, she has badly fractured the ankle of her foot.” The on shift A & E doctor informed, he hold’s up the x-ray photo to show Mason, pointing to the parts of the foot to explain. The sight made Mason’s stomach roll, sickness beginning to burn up his throat.

“So, what now?” He pleads, his temples joining together. “For now, Mr Mount, we don’t need to perform any surgery. Given that she’s young and her body is still growing. We will set it, place a cast on it, administer her for a few days and then she will be good to go.” The doctor smiles, gathering his paper work together. “She will have a nurse who will be around 24/7, performing a mild sedative to relieve her pain, monitoring her progress and she will discuss pain management for when she is ready to be discharged.”

Mason shakes his head in appreciation, thanking him and shaking his hand before he left the room. He looks over to sleeping angel beside him, her hair messily scattered over the pillows, body as still as a statue. Her chest was wheezy with small gasps for air, a sight no one would want to wish.

Delilah arose from her sleep a few hours prior her X-ray, the sedation in the hospital ride knocking her out for days. Drowsily, she blinked at the ceiling, the pain medication flowing slowly though her I.V and into her veins. She began to gain some more colour back to her face, which made Mason smile knowing that she was beginning to become back to her normal crazy self.

“Daddy..?” Delilah croaks, trying to pull herself up the bed. Mason swiftly turns to her side, pulling his chair closer to her bed. “Hi bub,” He reaches for her hand, giving it a tight soft squeeze. He leans to cup her cheek, running his thumb comfortingly over the redness. He presses a light kiss to her forehead, smiling at her drowsiness.

“I feel funny,” She starts, her voice echoing harshly. She nuzzles her cheek into her pillow, her eyes still appeared glossy in the light, a tinge of wetness forming on her eyelashes. Mason nods at her explanation, “It’s the medicine they gave you,” He smiles with widen eyes, a sleepy sigh falling from her lips.

There was a knock at the door, startling the pair to break conversation. They turned their heads into the direction of the noise, eyes following a small petite smiling woman, dressed in a blue pair of scrubs, glasses placed at the tips of her nose with her hair pulled in a low messy bun.

“Hello!” you whisper, settling your medical items placed on a tray in the corner, “I’m Nurse Y/N, it’s nice to meet you. I’m here to make you feel all better!” you smiled, waving at the pair cuddled.

“I’m Mason, and this is..” He brushes Delilah’s wispy hairs out her eyes, nodding his head at her to speak. “Delilah,” She whispers sweetly, trying to nuzzle her head in Mason’s arm for protection. She was perceived as a shy child, unlike Mason. Often, when meeting strangers, she would hide her face behind Mason’s leg, staying as close to him as possible. In her defence, it had always been Mason and Delilah, so she’s not very familiar with speaking to people she wasn’t known to. He had never connected with anyone romantically, since his ex, finding it hard to bring up the topic of his child.

“Wow, that’s a pretty name,”

A smile forms on both of their faces, a little blush rising on Delilah’s cheeks. “Thank you,” She blinks, “My daddy and friends call me Del, or Lilah. You can to if you want.” You face falls in awe at her sweetness.

You rummage around your medical box, looking for the correct sedative to give Delilah before she has her cast placed on. The substance you were looking for seeming to be placed incorrectly, not in your box, like you planned. “I just need to grab something, I wont be a moment.”

As you stepped out the room, Mason pulled the sheets up to Delilah’s shoulders, tucking them by each of her sides. “Warm enough?”

“Yes,” She looked up at Mason, her face frowning. “I want my Bun buns, I miss her.” She sighs, talking about her favourite teddy bear. The comfort had been gifted by Mason’s best friend, Declan Rice and his wife from when she was a baby. Since then, she had been glued to the thing, never wanting to put it down. Mason had to be tactical when it came to washing her bears, appropriately choosing nap time would be best. He even thinks she will still keep it in her arms when she’s 21, always having it by her side.

“I had a feeling you would,” Mason replied without hesitation, tucking a piece of her hair behind her ear. “Good thing I rang Uncle Lewis, and asked him to bring her!” He smiled, assuring the little girl. She replied with a small ‘Yay’ and a big smile, trying to celebrate in her circumstances.

“Oh! do you think he can also bring, bluey? and duggee? What about Raffa?” Mason chuckles at her excitement, “Raffa? I didn’t think dogs could come into hospitals?”

She’s quick to respond back, “They can! It happened in Paw Patrol!” She shouts excitedly, nodding her head. A knot forms between Masons eyebrows in confusion, “It did? Well I never,”

And before Delilah had the chance to tell her father more, You snuck back into the room, giggling to yourself at the little girls conversation. You begin to ready her sedative, walking round to the hanging bag on her I.V.

Noticing your actions, Delilah’s eyes shot open, and she latches her hand around Mason’s wrist quickly. “What’s that?” She squeals, in panic. “I don’t want it!” She turns to Mason, tears beginning to form on her waterline.

“Hey, hey hey.. Sweet girl,” He soothes, bringing her face into his chest. “It’s just some medicine angel. Y/N, is going to make you feel better.” She sobs innocently against his t shirt, a wet stain forming below his neck. You smile sympathetically, this wasn’t unusual to you, being a paediatric nurse. You’d seen many of children freaking out over hospitalisations, and it was your role to help them feel safe and at home to the best of your abilities.

“Sweetie, hey. Can you look at me?” She takes a small glance over at you. You kept the syringe behind your back, knowing that if she were to see, it would cause a new set of waterworks. You grab one of your special books for children, a picture book full of magical characters and bright scribbles. “Here, have a look at this for me?” You pass the book over to her and Mason, whom opens the surprise, giggling at one of the faces.

Once she is distracted, you glance over at Mason and nod your head, holding the syringe in your left hand. You wait for his approval, before slowly pressing down on the plunger of the syringe, taking a step back. Within minutes, the little girl is passed out, resting against her father.

-------------------------------------------After the sedation and procedure, Mason found himself sat inside the cafeteria, sipping a hot latte. His brother and parents had recently arrived to visit Delilah, bringing her all her toys and comforts she wanted. Along with a bag with some clothes for the pair. You notice the father, tapping his leg repeatedly on the ground, the nibble he had gnawing on his lip. You contemplate whether you should check up on him, see if he is feeling okay. Checking your watch, you notice you have your break within the next five minutes, and you was only writing up some paperwork. If you was in his position, you would want someone to see how you were feeling. So, you give in and decide to head over.

“Hey, Mason?” You smile at him, apprehensive of forgetting his name. His head shots up, and in your direction. Smiling at your presence.

“Hi, Y/N. Everything okay?” He questions, his brain instantly goes into panic mode, thinking you was coming over to inform him something bad about Delilah’s health.

“Yeah, everything's good. Don’t panic,” You laugh, noticing his change in body language, his deep brown eyes closing in relief. “Are you okay? What are you doing down here. Alone may I add?” You decide to pull out the chair opposite him, sitting yourself down.

“Yeah, I'm okay thanks. My parents are with Del right now, they chucked me out the room to get a coffee,” You both laugh at his last sentence, chuckling at his family antics. You notice his hands beginning to shake, “Wow, that coffee must of been really strong, huh?” You nod your head at his hands, to which he holds them out to look in front of you, also noticing his hands violently shaking.

“Yeah, definitely.”

“Are you sure, you are okay? your leg seems to be jittering quite a lot.” You chime, pointing your hand towards his leg. He looks down at your pointing finger, halting his leg on demand. “Yeah, happens a lot. Probably something to do with the muscle,”

“Well, if it’s that bad, I think ill have to tell the doc. Given that you have nearly tipped this table over,” You widen your eyes at him, your lips turning into a smirk, He rolls his eyes at your response, hands wrapping round his coffee.

“Okay, I'm not feeling great. To be honest,” He changes the subject, finally answering your question. You could tell from the tone of his voice, that he wasn’t okay. You didn’t want to interrogate him, considering that you had only just met him. However, you wanted him to be aware that you was there for him, and he could come to talk to you whenever.

“Do you want to talk about it? You prompt him, your soft tone creating a safe atmosphere. He looks down to the ground, nodding his head in reply.

“Sometimes, I feel as though. I’m too tough on Delilah,” He admits, shaking his head at himself, “I feel like, I pressure her to do things, that she doesn’t even want to do. Like, she hasn’t even mentioned to me that she has wanted to start football. I just thought, Daddy does football, maybe she will want to join in? Understand a bit better?” He rambles, a guilt feeling resting in his stomach.

“Hey, what? None of that is true.” Your fingers move to hold his shaking hand in yours, you brush your thumb over his hand gently, trying to provoke some comfort. He gazes up at you, a wave of embarrassment flooding though him. “I am so sorry, for that. I shouldn't of even said any of that, we have never even met before and I am just being burden,” You immediately shake your head at his apology, smiling slightly at his words.

“Shh shh, listen to me.” You objected, locking eye contact with him. “You are an amazing dad, okay. Don’t ever doubt yourself. What happened today wasn’t your fault, no one knew it was going to happen. She’s a child, Mason. All children have tumbles. So please, don’t beat yourself up about it.” Your heart shattered when he told you how he felt, all you wanted was to reassure him that he was a good dad, even if some things go wrong.

He smiled at your words, feeling a sense of worth when you explained to him his qualities. The bitter feeling that was growing in his stomach, seemed to calm down after expressing how he felt, the pressures of trying to be the best dad for Delilah, seemed to have eased after hearing your speech.

“Thank you, Y/N. I really needed to hear that.” A soft smile edges onto his lips, his brown hazel eyes begin to gain the twinkle that had been missing. For Mason, all he needed was someone by his side, letting him know that he was okay, doing the right thing. Hearing what you had to say, really made a difference to him. Interrupting his thoughts positively.

“I’m glad,” You reply, eyes gazing to the clock in the distance, “Oh crap, I need to go, my breaks over. I’ll see you tomorrow. Keep your head held high for me. Will ya?” You shot him a smile, before gathering yourself and getting back to your shift. As you walk away, Mason grins to himself widely. His vulnerable state, now seeming to slide.

———————————————————

The next morning, Mason and Delilah were told that the young girl could be discharged and was eligible to return home. They pack her belongings up, placing all her stuffed animals in her massive England National Football Team rucksack, slightly influenced from Mason. The night prior, the little girl had designed a bright scribbly masterpiece for yourself, a way of saying thank you for helping her foot feel better. She’s still enthusiastic that you let her choose a pink cast, much to Masons disbelief. Him encouraging her to choose blue for Chelsea. She explained to Mason several times, that she wanted him to give Nurse Y/N the drawing, and she was adamant she wasn’t leaving this hospital until they did. After a few moments of negotiating between the two, they decided Mason would give you the drawing, given that Delilah was desperate for some ice cream. His parents and Lewis, took Delilah out the hospital to grab the girl the sweet treat she was craving, whilst Mason finished up checking they had grabbed everything.

Once Mason checked everything over, making sure the bed was stripped and all her rubbish was put away out of courtesy. He stepped out the room, closing the door behind him, before stumbling right in front of someone.

“Y/N, I am so sorry,” He instantly apologises, bending down to pick up the loose paper sheets scattered around the floor. You smile at his sweetness, repeating his actions to sort out the mess. Once the both of standing up straight, you share a glance, before you initiate the first move.

“No worries, I wasn’t looking where I was going.” You mumble, pressing your glasses further up your nose, the paper sheets stuffed in your left hand. The pair of you stand awkwardly in front of each other, no one knowing what to say next.

Breaking the silence, you both start to speak. Being the gentleman Mason was, he offered for you to go first. Apologising for interrupting yourself. “I just wanted to make sure you were aware of the pain management for Delilah,” You spoke, a small smile forming on his face. “Yeah, I've got it.”

The man standing in front of you was dressed in a creased tracksuit, hair messily styled as though he hadn't had the best’s nights sleep. His eyes were indulged with dark purple bags, another suggestion that he lacked rest and was extremely fatigue. But, the man standing in front of you, was still the most beautiful man you had ever seen, even if he looked slightly like hagrid. He was beautiful.

A deep sigh escapes his lips, his hand reaching to tickle the back of his neck, a habit he’d gained when he was nervous. His eyes lock onto the ground, swaying the coloured picture between his fingers. “Delilah made this for you, she wanted you to have it,” He nervously chuckles, passing you over the creation.

A smile immediately plasters over your face, your heart fluttering in adoration. “Wow, that’s really sweet. Tell her I said thank you please, oh by the way-”

“Do you want to go on a date?” He word vomits, eyes widening at his question. He instantly feels sick to his stomach, he doesn’t even know himself why he gets these nervous feelings around you. The pair of you only spoken a few times. He, doesn’t even get this nervous before matches, yet your ability from meters in front of him gives him the most fluttery belly.

Your cheeks begin to flush at his words, heat rising through your body. Your lost for words to begin, let alone he doesn’t even know if you are single. You give yourself a moment to catch your breath, process the words. Before clearing your throat, “I’d like that,” sending him a smile.

He’s never felt a wave of happiness like it, well the birth of Delilah and winning the champions league, but its a relief. He feels a though a weight has been lifted from his shoulders, the sick feeling now replaced with a fluttery bubbly stomach.

“You would?” He questions back, needing the reassurance and to make sure he wasn’t just telling himself you had said yes. “Of course,” You chuckle,

“Okay cool,” He sighs in content, letting a deep breath release from the anticipation. “I’ll see you soon,” Mason sends you a nod and smile, before making his way back to his family. You aren’t sure if he was galloping in joy from your reply, or he was just speed walking. What ever it was, it made your heart burst from his cuteness.

“Take care,”

It’s a good thing Mason scribbled his number down on the back of Delilah’s drawing.

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