#its not even bad anymore its just abusive

[beanghostprincess]

A very interesting AU concept would be swapping Sanji and Pudding, hear me out:

It starts with 9 year old Sanji at G€rma. In one way or another, his modifications partially activate. He is still weaker than his siblings, but its enough for J@dge to not imprison him even after Sora's death. (He still gets berated tho) Living like this slowly makes Sanji lose his emotions. He doesn't have a will to to live, yet he can't die.

Meanwhile, at Tottoland Big Mom is furios at a 6 year old Pudding because she just can't awaje her 3rd eye. She calls her a failure, punishes her for nothing, and tells her that she isn't her favourite daughter anymore. Hearthbroken, Pudding decides to run away like her big sister Lola did by hiding in the hold of a ship. She ends up in the east blue and after the ship wrecks, she meets Zeff. They are both stuck on an island fir 80 days, but he sacrifised his leg because he could never let a lady go hungry, its just wrong. Later they are saved and end up opening the Baratie.

Zeff raises Pudding as his precious daughter. She is already great at baking, but he teacges her how to make other dishes and cuisine. Everybody loves her, and anyone who even lays a finger on her will die.

Then Luffy arrives. While Pudding's real dream is to learn about the 3 eye tribe, she tells everybody that is to find the All Blue for her old man (she still covers her eye, Zeff is the only person who has seen it). After the events of the Baratie arc, she joins the crew as the cook.

The rest of the story would be similar. Pudding is now a pirate who uses her leg fighting skills and smarts to get by. (As well as an idden power thats connected to her 3rd eye) The marines gave her the epithet "chocolate leg Pudding". Im not sure if she already has the memo-memo no mi... I'm gonna assume she does and its very useful for her.

The first change in the plot is at Thriller Brak. Pudding notices her sister, but she is scared to face her at first, since that woukd mean telling her friends about her true lineage. For most if the arc, she deribetaly tries to hide herself and even wears a disguise. In a final moment in the arc, she asks Lola to talk to her privately. We don't see what happens yet, but we will one day.

The rest of the story is the same, until Whole Cake Island. When she is kidnapped by the Big Mom pirates. When her bounty poster is changed to "only alive". When the invitation to the wedfing of the 3rd son of the V!nsm@ke family and the 35th daughter of the Charlotte family are handed out. When Big Mom decides to claim her disowned child to give her up in an arranged marriage as part of a coup. Threattening to hurt Zeff and her friends if she doesn't comply.

I love this so damn much you don't even know-- I've always been saying that Pudding's story is basically Sanji's but like, with the bad ending because she never got to escape when she was little but Sanji did. And now that you mention this AU, it's just perfect to show their similarities but also to turn the stories around and,,, It's amazing.

Starting with Sanji, I adore that the approach here is that he's emotionless. I don't think he'd be like his brothers in a narcissistic, egocentric way. I think that after being abused constantly he just loses all will to leave and shuts down completely even if there is still empathy within him. The whole thing with the Vinsmokes is that they were all raised to be powerful killing machines and that's why they act like this, not because they actually are emotionless. And Sanji in this context isn't either, he just seems like he is because he just... Gives up. So I imagine a black-haired Sanji with some blond, completely shut down and just taking the abuse and living with it and serving the family without anything else.

But there is still some type of connection in him to like, animals and women, I think. It's small but it's there. He's not our sweetest boy but he won't harm women the way Niji does and he will help and feed animals because he is strangely attached to them and cooking. But Judge doesn't really say anything about it anymore because at least the kid gets the job done and doesn't seem like he's going to rebel or anything. He's kind of like in a Reiju position? Where he understands their situation and has his own emotions but just shuts down? Except that he's well, extremely depressed and mean and she's concerned for him. I think she still protects him though, she's the only one Sanji doesn't push away. Typical "they sit in silence and she hugs him and even though he stays expressionless it's obvious that he likes it with her".

And Pudding... I love that she gets her happy ending here. I've been saying Zeff has girldad energy and it just makes sense that he'd be extremely protective of her while teaching her to cook and fight on her own!! He raised the most gorgeous, sweetest, and yet ruthless cook of all seas! I think he'd be such a great dad for her because he would help her stand up for herself and also take care of her in their early years together when she is still having trouble adapting to a new, healthy environment. Of course, she still has nightmares and trauma responses when she grows up, and he helps her anyway, but she gets better at some point.

I love that he's the only one who sees her third eye!!! That'd be like, such a good plot point too for her to join the strawhats... Also, her dynamic with Luffy would be hilarious because despite being sweet, I wanna desperately keep her mean personality and she would be SOOO done with Luffy. Their relationship would kind of resemble Lusan's a lot, imo. And Nami would be sooo happy to have another girl in the crew so early!!! I also think she'd hate Zoro but not because of like, parallels with Zosan or anything, I just think their personalities clash too much-- And she'd have a soft spot for Usopp but that's because, you know, everyone does. Also, I like having a girl in the crew that isn't part of the coward trio. She actively fights and I love it. Then Vivi and Robin join them and y'know, I am starting to think another girl in the crew would be literally amazing hahahaha (I've been saying this for so long). So I am guessing everything stays the same except that during Thriller Bark she reunites with Lola but yeah, she doesn't tell the others about it. Because that's what WCI is for!

Then WCI happens... And I am losing it because I really, really, really want her to have the biggest breakdown about it and sacrifice herself Sanji-style (don't you just love how you don't even have to change the plot because they're literally parallels??? I will never understand how some people can hate Pudding lmfao she's literally Sanji). So she's forced to do the exact same thing she does in canon if she wants to save the ones she loves, but she doesn't want to kill Sanji?? Like at all?? And then you have Sanji who literally gives zero fucks about what's going on. I think he'd be forced to act politely and like a gentleman when he literally doesn't care about all of this-- And probably Pudding finds out and he's mean to her, yadda yadda yadda.

And y'know I would absolutely love if Sanji knew they're going to kill him but couldn't care less about it because perhaps dying is better than whatever life he's living, and when Pudding realizes what's going on she makes him want to live just... A little bit. Something awakens inside Sanji and suddenly he's scared and he doesn't want to do this. Sanji sees Pudding's third eye... Pudding finds out about Sanji's mother... They actually won't stop arguing at first, Pride & Prejudice style, and then Sanji sees her with a different perspective and all of a sudden he starts acting more protectively and sweet to her? So she's confused as hell and still tries to argue but uhhhh complicated relationship they've got there, but at least they help each other out.

And idk perhaps we have the Viinsmoke sibs having the same scene they have in canon and helping Sanji out but the crucial part is Reiju paralleling the original scene in which she helps Sanji escape. And he finally does and he leaves with the strawhats because I need them to have a happy ending. So he's still dealing with, you know, trying to express his emotions and wanting to live but he'll get there someday because at least now he's safe. Nobody kisses and forgets anybody because I will not allow a sad ending here, thank you.

#but seriously i love this so damn much #i could talk about this for hourssss #going insane #rn thinking hard about zeff raising pudding bc their dynamic would be so fun and cute #pudding in sanji's place and going through the same things he did with the crew but with her own issues and personality is amazing #idk pudding deserves so much love i hope she can get her happy ending in the manga or else i will riot #also thinking hard abt germa sanji not being evil or anything he's just depressed #like i LOVE evil sanji AUs but depressed sanji who just settles and doesn't fight back and suddenly he finds pudding and the strawhats #and now he has a reason to live and turns out he's a sweetheart?????? #going insane about them actually #he joins and nami goes and dies his hair blond bc it's very needed thanks #one piece #black leg sanji #charlotte pudding #whole cake island #red leg zeff #not tagging the others bc i'm lazy #ask-bean!

[dannyphannypack]

i’m very sorry, but you guys have got to properly label your ao3 fics because “bad parents jack and maddie fenton” is starting to really get on my nerves.

and if, in the middle of the fic, you decide to add a tag like that: PLEASE communicate that you’ve done so in the chapter notes. because i don’t recheck the tags after i’ve bookmarked something.

please. i don’t think it’s that big of an ask.

#did we watch the same show ??? #this is the woman that carried danny on her back across the forest #the ones that went around town blaring announcements of ‘cutest sweetest boy in the world’ when he went missing #the people that accepted him without question not once #not TWICE #but THREE TIMES. #and if it was the odd fic here and there i wouldnt be frustrated #but suddenly its ALL OF THEM. #PLEASE TAG YOUR FICS PROPERLY. #danny phantom #power to you and your artistic vision i guess but im begging over here. #im getting old im 22 i cant take these surprises anymore #its not even bad anymore its just abusive #and more than half the time it has nothing to do with the plot. it’s just a device to get danny somewhere or make him sad #im sorry im getting mad again i’ll stop #tag your fics end of story

[haunted-xander]

Wholeheartedly

#(but not willingly) #they makr me insaaaaaaane bc its like. #wanting to be who you used to be. wanting to go back to when things didnt hurt all the time #ignoring the fact that even back then things were still bad #it was bad and it still is bad but now its bad and also painful constantly #and just bad is better than pain #but its not possible to go back bc ur not that person anymore #and 'that person' is now seperate from you #and he doesnt know anything #and all you want anymore is to join with him so you can both be the 'you' that was sad and lonely and abused #but at least you werent in pain #this actually doesnt have much to do with the art itself i just felt like rambling about vanitas bc hes fucked ip #and deserves therapy for *gestures vaugely* all that #vanitas #ventus #vanven #in spirit #kingdom hearts #kingdom hearts birth by sleep #kh #kh bbs #art #my art #xanders art #digital art #fan art

[bitchthefuck1]

I will never understand the fanfic impulse to take characters with thee most coo coo bananas codependent/nuanced/toxic/insane relationship and turn them into love interests #1 and #2 in a generic romance novel. like what is even the point anymore

#i don't just mean 'bad' relationships that they're trying to romanticize or sanitize; this happens all the time with 'good' relationships #with some funk or flavor to them where they sand off all of the things that actually make them interesting and compelling #and you're just left with this bland ball of nothing like they're generic couple no. 4 in a clothing ad #like girl why are you even here then?? what was the appeal for you that made you want to write about these people in the first place??? #you've taken all the flavor out??? #it always reminds me of that one screenshot someone took of a tag on a succession fic that was like 'logan is a good dad au' and its like #okay well why are we here then? like that changes so much about the characters and the story (and also like the entire point #the show is making about power and abuse) that you might as well write about literally anyone/anything else bc you're sure as shit #not writing about these characters anymore #and like. there's nothing wrong with enjoying bland or formulaic romance i'm not gonna find you and come to your house #but if that's what you're into then why do you even like these people??? #to be clear i don't mean 'take them and place them neroses and all into a suburban home to watch them chew the wallpaper and #confuse their neighbors' that's completely different

[frecklystars]

feels really awful not drawing my red energon necklace on me anymore. it also feels awful when I do draw it though, like i used to feel rly happy bc it's a reminder of how loved TF made me feel but now it's just a reminder that i've lost it and i'm! always! scared i'll never get that back! i keep trying to imagine starlight would want me to wear it but its so fucking hard to imagine him being kind towards me when i have months of trauma and abuse that have convinced me the exact opposite. that's why im making so much fanart instead of self ship. thats why i still only doodled one (1) ship art w/ ken and i'm facing away from the camera bc i cannot stand to draw myself with or without the necklace. i hate thinking about it i hate lingering over that empty area. i hate missing him. i fucking hate missing him. im not supposed to miss any of those characters like this. this was never supposed to happen to me. i didn't deserve ANY of that shit my abuser put me through. i just want everything taken away from me to finally be mine again

#been drawing myself wearing barbie's locket or ken's chain #just to fill that empty space because idk what else to do!!!! #i tried drawing the red energon necklace while im holding hands w/ six #and it felt so fucking Bad it was like oh. why would i wear that if it's never gonna feel better again #would stsc even want me to wear it anymore. does he even still love me #i keep trying to imagine that he misses me and hes just waiting for me to come back #sitting in our meadow holding the necklace for me stargazing and wondering if im ok #but TF being a literal fucking trigger makes it SO FUCKING HARD to think of fluffy scenarios #when someone spent months telling me how abusive they would all be and how vile they are #i love barbie. i love ken. i love six. i love sebastian. but it is absolutely fucking nothing compared to what i had w/ starscream #and im. nevergonna get it back am i #the pain is so tremendous and when i lose barbie/ken/six/etc etc idk what im gonna do #i felt so good watching the barbie movie today i watched it TWICE since its the last day in theaters #and then on the way home a starkeri song came on shuffle #and i fucking lost it i had to pull over bc i started crying so hard #what the fuck is wrong with me!!!!!!!! #vent

[kkoct-ik]

how are you supposed to react to the realisation that your parent is like actually abusive

#kostik speaks #this is not the first time. or the second. or the. i just keep realising this and then forgetting to protect myself #abuse #domestic abuse #for cw #im processing today that its not normal for your parent to not care about your feelings or pain at all #like them hurting you for hours because theyre angry and not caring because the only thing that matters is that theyre mad at you #im realising that might not be normal #my household is shit in a lot of other ways but my mum situation is really difficult for me to process #at least with house being bad its kinda nebulous and a feeling #processing that my mum mistreats me and all her kids is kind of realer and uh. therefore harder #i dont get it #why cant she be normal #why cant she be nice?? i dunno. i genuinely cannot fathom a mum being nice or fair or even #its just relentless rage or offense the moment you make a mistake or make her look bad #as long as youre helpful and make her look good shes fine #but god forbid youre a child and make a mistake because youre a child. god forbid you be autistic and struggle #i dont understand its so inconsistent. sometimes she sounds like she cares. she advocates for all sorts of stuff #but if shes mad at you youre not a person anymore. you dont deserve rights or dignity or sympathy. i dont get it #and christ it doesnt take much for her to be mad at you. she never lets go grudges anyway so you never know when itll come #sorry for abuse posting i recently came back from home and had therapy about it and then a chat with my flatmate about abusive parenting #my brain is working

[hecksupremechips]

Girl like. The reason he said "this is how it should be" and faced death with a smile....is cuz he wanted to die. For 2 years he sat there thinking he was worthless and deserved to die. If he hadn’t be shot, his death would’ve been suicide, he was fully planning to die in a gutter somewhere undetected. When saying "this is how it should be" hes literally saying "don’t cry because I’m dying, my death is a good thing actually because I fucking suck and you are better off without me". I don’t think that’s badass even slightly, it’s actually really sad and really shitty. Shinjiro is so convinced that he deserves to die and hates the idea of anyone giving a shit about him because he literally can’t wrap his mind around the idea that he will be missed when he’s gone, that his death is a bad thing actually. And his last words were meant to be comforting because he fully did not intend for anyone to be there when he died, he intended to die alone, so he says them as a reminder that he’s not worth crying over

Personally, if it were me, if I was holding my dying best friend in my arms who was deeply depressed and suicidal and he said "this is how it should be" uh. I wouldn’t admire him for it??? Like am I losing my mind when I say the way this game handles Shinji is bad or is anyone else seeing this too 😰

#its like okay listen i understand the basic math of any persona game they say things and everything they say is actually #very bad when you think about it for more than 3 seconds #like what theyre intending to do with the death of this character is be like oh no your sad friend dies tragically thats so saddddd #but that doesnt mean you cant live a wonderful life full of meaning you cant let grief consume you life is beautiful awagga #and i guess shinji is a specific character whos used cuz i guess its more tragic that he never realized he was worthy of life and shit #and i guess its also like ‘dont be like this guy who let grief consume him and then died you gotta Be Different’ #which i dont. love. that last part cuz if you think about shinji and what led him down this road #its like. of course hes depressed! he accidentally killed a woman with a child when he was 16! #he himself is an orphan and he just made some other kid an orphan as well and it happened cuz his persona went out of control #which very much can translate to ‘this must mean im dangerous and can hurt everyone if im not kept under control’ #so of course he isolated himself and believed he was evil and became suicidal like who wouldnt feel that way #like am i supposed to be mad he left sees and took drugs cuz uh while i dont think isolation or Evil Drug is good for his mental health #i dont think him continuing to fight in sees is something he can just easily do again given how he killed someone like he shouldnt have to #be a part of this thing anymore like how would he even safely get castor to not do that??? he cant kill more people on accident! #so yeah like using shinji as an example of bad coping mechanisms is already just. a big fucking oof to me like it just feels like the game #is saying he shouldve gotten over it and simply not be suicidal and stayed on the team. idk if thats the intent but uh it wouldnt faze me #cuz persona games are notoriously awful at writing characters who are traumatized and abused #but what makes everything even worse is how the game kinda like. acts like shinjis death is a stepping stone #like we’re supposed to use it as a wake up call and understand the stakes but keep going on anyways #and akihiko and Ken get. ‘great character development’ according to the game telling you they have now developed #but damn all akihiko is is just repressed he cries for 3 seconds and then is like I SHOULD MAN UP and then neglects a depressed child #shinjis dying words are words to live by now even though they piss me the fuck off like girl am i crazy HES FUCKING #HES TELLING ME NOT TO CRY OVER HIM BECAUSE HE SHOULD BE DEAD ACTUALLY AND THIS IS A GOOD THING ACTUALLY #like if the game wants us to still find meaning in life despite losing someone it just really hurts that shinji has to die for that to work #apparently. cuz the character i see myself in is shinji. not some perfect prettyboy who does everything perfectly and has 4 gfs #his death seems like a punishment for bad behavior. the bad behavior being of course depression and drug use. and im simply supposed to be #better than that if i want to live. and we dont get to form a connection with him cuz thats gayyyyy #and his death is like a NOBLE HEROIC SACRIFICE idk its just such bullshit to me i hate it so bad #how is killing a suicidal guy and then treating it as admirable that he said ‘this is how it should be’ supposed to make me feel #makes me feel sick personally and it ruins the entire game’s theme to me because its fucking shallow and the story is bad and im tired

[bootyful-seventeen]

hey y'all, anyone have any good stress relief tehniques or habits they'd like to share cuz I've been more stressed in the last 3 weeks then I was in the last 6 months

#to cut the long story short my mom had to sell the old house cuz her broke ass couldnt afford to keep it up #eventho it is a whole ass hoarders house and was in shambles with a flooded basement a collapsing ceiling in at least 2 rooms plus mold #and the stench a dirt and dog piss and shit all over the floor really made it worse then it was #but yeah so shes been staying with me and my grandma and its been awful #she hasnt been taking any of the medicine the doctors gave her when she snapped and started a fight and also started screaming at neighbour #so shes been terrorizing us here while the house has become her second hoarders den since she dragged so much crap here #my backyard side entrance and front porch are full of her shit and my grandma hates it since she can barely step into the house #so since she kept looking for places way out of her budget i had to go do house hunting since my useless sister is busy getting lit again #so ive been showing her shit in her price range that was under 420k cuz im not a moron who looks at 800k homes when i have 570k #and each time she has a new complaint saying its too expenive or its too small or its too old when she said she wants to do renovations #but shes saying she wants to renovate a newly renovated place instead of an old one #so i just showed her a house near my sisters uni and she liked the inside & backyard but she complained that 400k for newly renovated 3 bed #that is literally a 9 minute drive from my sisters uni is too expensive when shes the one who was looking at an old ass unrenovated bungalo #that is a street over from us that is 800k and she says it looks like garbage cuz an old lady previously owned it before dying #like no shit it looks old cuz older people lived those decades and like it and she just keeps doing her bullshit again & again #cuz when i tell you her mind is gone i mean it is GONE and she starts up all these wild stories to just explain some shit #like something goes missing? the neighbours are hungarian and stole it and left the hoard of junk in her old house #she has more stupid stories to harass and stress us out with but if im gonna share that ill have to write a book about it cuz fuck #and you know its bad when no one else can stand being in any contact with her cuz she starts screaming at people about it #so the only one who even likes her anymore is my sister and thats cuz shes deep in denial about just how insane she is & how abusive she is #so yeah i need some stress relief help that maybe isnt constantly hitting up maryjane cuz i dont do weed often especially since shes here #cuz weed 'burns your brain & makes you crazy like this' when shes the only one whos ever infuriated me to astronimical levels #i know retail therapy helped before she came here but i dont want to keep spending money i dont really have #it would be great tho but shes refusing to give me the 70k she said was mine from the house sale so i can cut her out for good

[wisdom-walks-alone]

im so serious some t*m drake stans are so misogynistic when it comes to stephanie brown I'm not even kidding holy shit

#jay speaks #sorry. its the truth #turn tim into the victim all you want to appease your projected victim complex can we at least leave steph alone tho #like. woooooooow #ur poor little helpless little white queer boy. and the toxic abusive ex girlfriend of his. good riddance amirite #im sorry guys i cannot do this anymore. i am at my limit #some peoples attitudes towards steph are just soooooo misogynistic its insane #all to uphold and make a white (only recently confirmed) queer boy look better by comparison. what a breakthru guys ur geniuses #never before seen im in awe #i say all of this as someone who likes tim too btw. he is literally one od my faves #he is higher on my list than steph is. but like. come on guys #are we just going to forget about how much of a garbage boyfriend tim was to steph #or how badly he treated her even when they weren't dating 💀 hello #did we read the same comics. i won't say steph was perfect but like tim was an asshole lol #she was a teenaged girl and im afraid that was mostly her biggest offense. tim was a little misogynist god love him #both were young and stupid and teenagers. w/e. don't act like steph was the sole bad actor tho even in recent comics #sorry tim wasn't written to be as much of a victim as u would have liked #tag rant #no actually. gotta add. don't we just love putting down a woman to uplift the treasured mlm ship #and make it seem better. like the better option. isnt it fun to do that right #banging my head against the wall im so done with this

[toothzome]

anyways the last thing i'll ever say on this since the series is so mid i hope the LOV kills every hero and everyone dies <3

#txt #anti mha #anti bnha #mha critical #bnha critical #i can't with this copganda abuse apologist piece of crap manga anymore #the fanservice of kids #the bad fandom #the lightening of oboro's skin in the anime #the BAD PLOT POINTS #the BAD REDEMPTIOSN #the balant sexism and even transphobia on occasion #it's just not worth it tbh #and like STOP reccing mha to other ppl its mid #its midder than mid its just outright stupid at this point #every1 just read jjk or chainsaw man those are--from what little i've seen--ACTUAL good shounen #then there's mob psycho #like we have SO many more options than mha fr #anyways i got all pissy from reading the wiki and how they made so many characters bend backwards for abusers #then ppl like twice and magne get killed cause they #are 'evil' while overhaul still gets to live #and THEN shigaraki just gets tortured for no reason at this point and it's all pointless

[fish-d]

cannot stop thinking or talking about how sam reid plays lestat explicitly as a guy who does actually Want to do right by the people he loves and tries over and over again in ways that are, genuinely and in their moment, kind and considerate, but he's so damaged that he can barely get a selfless breath out of his mouth before his fear of abandonment/possessiveness/superiority self-defense mechanism/gruesome temper swings back around and he punishes louis for ever having believed him capable of goodness in the first place

#txt #lestat de lioncourt #I CANT STOP THINKING ABT HIM #specifically this post is about the 'i can fuck whoever i want' 'of course. of COURSE. of c o u r s e. :)))' #like it really seems like he wants to mean it. he wants to mean it soooooo bad #he knows how unfair hes being and he wants good things for louis ! and also principally he doesnt want to recieve the criticism #for his obvious hypocrisy #he wants to be thought of as a Good Guy #but he just cant fucking cope with it. even before he starts screaming hes trying soooo hard to be casually disaffected #but he heard their hearts dancing !!!!!!! #iwtv 2022 #he is so traumatized :))) honey your cycle of abuse is showing #ftr dont come at me. nothing he does is acceptable or good im just so admirous of the way sam informs us Where all that toxicity is from #its not from a desire to do evil. its bc he doesnt know any other way to be anymore. #iwtv meta

[6-2-aestheticsofhate]

What's the fucking point

#god i feel like killing myself #just existing is a fucking struggle #whats the point of it #moving into an apartment was supposed to help and it did i fucking guess but i am so drained from trying to survive these past few months #fuck i could hardly bring myself to get out of bed today #i could hardly bring myself to eat #small things keep fucking building up and fuck. fuck. im so fucking tired #im gonna be honest i dont know how much fight i have left in me #i tried so fucking long #i begged and pleaded online for help with just. fucking anything. i was fucking homeless and people rbed my post but i hardly got anything #i feel like my art sucks and its not even good enough for people to pity commission me when i was fucking homeless #i know people did commission me. or donate. and i really appreciate it #but the sheer fact i was open about being homeless and had a whopping... two people either comm or donate me #and id make posts talking about how/why the shelter i was staying at was bad for me #and barely anyone helped #ive spent the past few months being insulted by other people at shelters. #having my fucking abusers show up at one of them #and constantly had people downplay my sadness and mental health issues or physical health issues #even though im not homeless anymore its like theres deep scarring from the fucking. whole goddamn experience #im in so much pain #i keep crying #i cant focus #i can hardly function #ive only eaten one meal today and its 7pm now #i dont think im gonna make it. #personal #vent

[cockyroaches]

Sooo my mom works with third graders and takes stuff from them if they're too disruptive. This means I'll find random things in the house sometimes.

#minor rant incoming. feel free to skip this #btw the policy seems to be theyll receive the item back if their parents pick it up. probably so they feel bad and dont do it anymore #grew up with that policy too but i cant comment too much on it being good or not #[physical abuse warning] i did tell her to just. give them back. bc i know some wont even bring it up at home #bc they fear getting hit for getting into 'trouble' like this. esp if the parent thinks it's embarrassing. #hope she can do that bc otherwise its just mean #bitch mantis #jupiter #petblr #orange tabby

[catboy-syrup]

Proshippers: Stop reporting fictional content to actual abuse and child support systems, you're taking resources away from the ACTUAL children that need help just cause you care about fictional characters. Not to mention calling it 'Child Porn' and acting as if fictional scenerio's are the same as a real child getting abused is extremely gross and just shows how much you actually care about real survivors

Anti's: Lmao, like someone's mad when caught them with Child Porn again, haha :). We should blow up the report systems with their account so they get banned. :)

#I have seen this happen so many times it its driving me nuts #like how lost in your own self-rightousness do you have to be #for someone to literally tell you that fiction is not the same as real life and should be treated as such #and then for you to still go 'But this fictional scenerio is just as bad as the real thing!' #like do anti's even take themselves seriously anymore? #🍥🍁🍡syrup talks🍡🍁🍥 #🍥🍁🍡sir this is a denny's🍡🍁🍥 #proship #proshippng #tw discourse #tw child abuse #tw csa mention #tw csem mention #ask to tag.

[slutdge]

#state of my mental health rn #i gotta keep it real with yall!!!! im tired of grieving and being abused and wanting to die all the time in isolation #i really cant articukate it anymore lmao i am completely hopeless and on my own at this point #i feel like theres nothing left i can do #i know all i do is bitch and complain go away then im not holding a gun to your head lmao #i feel like my bodies just gonna fucking explode lmao #im too tired to find the words that really give it justice how much i wish i was dead anymore #its too much all the time lmao!!!! im tired its too much and im a pussy i cant take it!!!!! #and i dont think im crazy for being this tired given the circumstances #i talk about how bad and unsafe im feeling and im a manipulator #i internalize it all and feel like i dont deserve it and should be treated better and with urgency of my situation and im a narcissist #i cant win with emotions i cant win with other people like. my entire life is a series of games i cant win #i feel guilty because of everything so does it really even matter lmao #ill never feel absolved

[n0ct0urn1quet]

hgonesly at this point i really do wish i could just say Fuck It and disappear off the face of the earth for a little bit bc honestly . i donot want to be alive

#2023 off to a banger start for me (got into an argument with my mom on new years about her bf reminding me of my abusive dad #and havent had peace or a good nights sleep since!!!!!!!!!!!) #i am absolutely fucking miserable and i just donot want to Do It anymore #i hate this house i hate the people i live with i hate this world and i hate everything thats happening to jme but i cant do anytihing #i cant do anything to Fix Anything i cant do anything abt my problems theres just so much Wrong With Me that i dont know how to fix #i dont know if i CAN fix most of the issues i have. i have so much ptsd and trauma from so many different things and its all just. hghg #and i want so badly to just let it out and talk to the people Around Me about it bc it is Serious and i shouldnt be just not talking about #it but. i just cant bring myself to Do That. i am constantly afraid that the people around me will be angry with me if i even so much as #speak up about the things that make me upset and its not their fault and its no ones fault but my own and i just dont know what to Do #im scared of confrontation and im worried that if i try to talk about it its gonna lead to an argument!!! i know it wouldnt but im terrifed #so id rather just not talk about it. which then leads to the problem not getting resolved because. fuck man im sure the people around me #know that somethings up but i never bring it up so therefore they never find out and it gets swept under the rug like all my other issues #i pride myself on being good at being emotional and being open but in reality i am emotional. yes. but not at all good at being open #ive never been good at it and i feel so BAD because like. yes i love you. yes i trust you and i know you would never ever be mad at me #for just talking about my feelings. i know this and i love you for it. but im so bad at conveying that. even though i trust you with mylife #im just bad at opening up. it does not matter how long we've known each other its just such a struggle for me to Be Open to anyone #of course its not much better that im coming to tumblr and puttign this here for 100+ people to see but just. i dont know #im mentally unstable ive never had good coping mechanisms and im the only person awake and everyone else that i usually vent to is asleep #so all my thoughts just get piled up into one messy little ball and it gets thrown to tumblr because i need somewhere to put them #im sorry. im exhausted. its been a long week and i wish i could just hybernate for the rest of the month and not interact with anyone #i just wish i could mvoe out and live with my gf and our cat. that is all i want and that is the only thing that would fix me