Tumgik
#its just a general thing that bugs me a lot
dmitriyuriev · 7 months
Text
Tumblr media
Can't believe fgo gave Limbo machine-destroying shikigami bugs, but didn't have him so much as threaten to use them on the mechanical doll girl he's weirdly fixated on, it's a shame...
42 notes · View notes
sskk-manifesto · 19 days
Text
:)
#A nice episode :) I have a lot of headache tho and forgot everything I wanted to say#The ss/kk is nice :) It's nice every time Akutagawa spontaneously saves Atsushi seemingly with no reason to#The animation was very nice! It's evident a lot of money and effort went into this season and these last episodes in particular#And I like the art style a lot better than the one in the other seasons. Even season 4 where the animation is comparatively as good#What more. The Kyouka screentime is nice. The whole Guild aftermath celebrations section is very nice and heartwarming to watch#I still take a lot of issues with the entire way Kyouka's entrance exam was conceived but I think they're fairly self-explanatory.#Also fundamentally coherent with b/sd's general worldviews so#But even then there's a line that bothers me to an unexplainable amount from the first time I watched it to now.#The “it hurts” when she's hugging Atsushi. And I've reflected over that line so long from the moment I first heard it...#I think. Its meaning is to symbolize how being in the light sometimes will still result to be too overwhelming for Kyouka–#to the point at times it will still end up hurting her. But that doesn't make it any less worth it#So to say‚ there's no such thing as perfect happy endings. But she is going to be okay nonetheless#BUT IT STILL BUGS ME. I feel like it's part of a school of thought for whom we should just accept the fact that there's evil in the world–#that we can't eradicate. And nothing can be done about it. Which I don't think is a functional or useful way of thinking?#ALSO I know it's. Most definitely‚ 99% not how the scene is supposed to be interpreted#BUT ATSUSHI IS THE ONE HUGGING AND THUS HURTING HER and you know how there is this very slight narrative that seemingly–#frames Kyouka and Atsushi as romantic partners and like... Idk.#In that context the line almost feels expression of a narrative of wives having to bear pain that is natural and unavoidable.#I know this definitely wasn't the intended meaning it's just a bad impression for some reason I can't be able to shrug off even after years#But don't listen to me#I don't think there's anything else to add. Overall a very good episode.#Take a shot every time someone says “all according to Dazai's plan”#random rambles
11 notes · View notes
dullard · 11 months
Text
im feeling chatty.
i dont currently plan to get more isopods but dreamy species (that are actually within reach. So none of those adorable spiky ones like shiny gators, ancient gators, thai spikies... Just absurdly expensive and hard to get) are uhhhh:
armadillidium cf espanyoli “marbelized”
Tumblr media
(pic source) i just loooove the patterning its so pretty ive seen some really stunning ones in pictures too. theyre really tiny apparently. i already think my cappuccinos are tiny and theyre like twice the size of the marbles from what i can tell. itd be cool to have more Sizes u kno. these are the most tempting to me like if i was looking for another species to keep or if i had more room. itd definitely be these. great combo of beautiful pod and not so expensive or notoriously hard to work with or anything.
porcellio expansus “orange”
Tumblr media
(pic source) theyre BIG fuckers!!!! not as big as hoffmanseggi but preddy big and very flat and i like their big exopods/uropods (?) (the funky tail things the guys have longer ones of) allso. isolated from the general porcellio expansus from spain which is sometimes calld the beetlejuice isopod and i have brain rot. They do have such cute little striped black and white antennae though, see? 
A strain like autumnal equinox is also tempting but..... idk 
cubaris sp “lemon blue”
Tumblr media
(pic source) arent they stunning. ok so i want one of the yellowy ones i think theyre cute but it could be lemon blues it could be jupiters it could be some rendition of the bees. rubber bees, emperor bees, bumble bees.
armadillidium vulgare “gem mix”
Tumblr media
(pic source) this is actually a really commonly available mix and was almost my first set before i got that absurd deal on my cappuccinos. I just love how rich and deep the colors are and they all complement each other so well. there are other mixes of other species like ‘lotto ticket’ and ‘party mix’ but the gem mix is so pretty to me
honorable mentions
armadillidium nasatum “peach” - absurdly cute to me. such a pretty color and such nice markings. not SUPER up my alley in terms of what id want to keep but just so nice to look at. if i had space and saw a good deal. itd be tempting.
cubaris sp. “pak chong” - they are also. so cute. they were actually one of the other ones i was considering as my first isopods, the reptile store in my area has some (as well as that gem mix) but i had been worried they would be too hard to care for (and then i went for the theoretically Harder to care for cappuccinos anyway so i had to level up my isopod keeping really fast and early for those little thangs) anyway i like their little red face and butt.
venezillo parvus “kumquat” - maybe i just like the food names especially. bc i have cappuccinos and chocolate zebras at home. but also a lot of morphs have food names. They are just so so cute conglobated and they are teeny tinys. i like their coloration and markings. this section is kind of repetitive now that i think about it
cubaris sp “white shark” - literally would be on the list but theyre just so tinys. idk why but them being tiny seems like a big L in this case but in other cases a species is tinys and im like. epic....
thenks for reading :P :)
1 note · View note
sleepyjupz · 5 months
Text
i dont think i've (intentionally) spoken on this tumblr in a bit and i, like basically everyone else, am so so tired and so so sad
0 notes
vampfucker666 · 1 year
Text
i feel so stir crazy lately like i feel packed into an enclosure thats too small and pacing in too small of a space and just being crushed suffocated etc. so yeah i think the starbucks kiosk life is getting to me A Lot
0 notes
sleepyhollands · 10 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
false god
Tumblr media Tumblr media
PAIRING harry styles x reader
SUMMARY harry’s having trouble finding enough time to spend with y/n, even after she drops everything and joins him on tour. when they talk, they only seem to argue. when they don’t, they only seem to fuck.
WARNINGS she’s an angsty one— lots of miscommunication, poorly executed arguments, and general couple fighting content. BUT!! there is lots of really cute fluff at the end :> also, beware of smutty content such as soft!dom harry (my favorite), oral (f!receiving, implied m!receiving), unprotected p in v, a brief hesitation to get naked on y/n’s part, an even more brief mention of bondage play, harry leaves like one love bite, and tooth-rotting holding each other while having sex content. lmk if i missed anything!
WORD COUNT 5.5k
AUTHOR’S NOTE fun fact this was supposed to be done months ago and then literally everything that could have gotten in my way did just that. but she’s here now!! writing this was a challenge but i feel so good about it now that it’s complete and i can’t wait for you all to read it. please lmk you enjoyed by leaving feedback and/or reblogging!! special thanks to @cherryjuiceblues for beta reading for me <3 ily <3
LOVER SELECTION one-shots here.
copyright © sleepyhollands. all rights reserved. || my masterlist.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
“harry, it doesn’t matter if—”
“it does to me!”
“hey, there are two people in this relationship, you know.”
“yeah, an‘ one of ’em feels like right shit on what’s meant to be the greatest tour of his life! doesn’t that mean anythin‘ to you?”
“of course it does, i just—”
“really? ’cause y’could’ve fooled me, love.”
“harry, i swear, if you interrupt me one more time, i’m booking the next flight home.” 
… tour had been going really well for harry! he was playing back to back sold out shows in some of the biggest cities in the world, with adoring fans lining up by the thousands, itching to hear him sing live. he’d already had some really sweet interactions on stage, and no crazy mishaps had occurred (he was especially proud of himself for having ensured everyone’s safety so far). just in the last week alone, he’d been nominated for three different awards for his newest album and performances. anyone could see that he was living a dream— the dream, really. the kind that only comes true once in a blue moon. 
and yet… tour had been going really poorly for harry. now, he doesn’t like to complain about much; he knows just how fortunate he is, and actively tries to see the bigger picture when frustrated. but it was really hard to zoom out of his particular situation when he was so zeroed in on a particular aspect that had been bugging him for weeks— y/n. 
don’t get him wrong! y/n herself wasn’t what was bothering him. it was more so her presence, and his… lack thereof. 
if there’s one thing harry prides himself on more than anything, it’s being an attentive lover— even in the most innocent and platonic of ways. he tries his absolute hardest to be a supportive brother, a considerate son, a (hopefully) decent role model to those who look up to him, and especially a present, loving boyfriend. and for the most part, he’s just as successful in those aspects as he is in his career. in fact, y/n regularly speaks of how harry treats her like she hangs the stars in the sky just for him, how he makes her feel like the most special girl in the world. 
but this tour was taking its toll, and harry was taking it out on y/n. he’s never been great at communicating everything in the most positive of ways— that’s where he turns to songwriting— and he’d let his emotions get the better of him after letting them build up for the past couple of weeks. he wasn’t proud of himself, but he needed an outlet. 
harry didn’t mean to start the fight. but when y/n asked him where he’d been after a last minute management meeting following that night’s show kept him an extra half hour later than he said he’d be, it was like all the frustration just erupted. inadequacy is one of his least favorite feelings (next to loneliness), and being a barely-there or only-sometimes-there boyfriend couldn’t be more of a trigger for that particular emotion. 
now here they were, vexation filling the tour bus around them like a fog they could barely see through, inhaling it with every breath and releasing it back into the atmosphere surrounding them. harry huffed out a sigh, arms crossed and brow furrowed as he angrily looked out the window of the tour bus to distract himself for a moment, having to mentally step away from the argument at hand, even if just for a few seconds. watching as the dark streets outside shined with the headlights of other vehicles, he found himself wishing he were in one of them. it would be nice to be in a car alone, nothing but his thoughts and some music to keep him company. 
but he had real company. she was standing not six feet away from him, emulating his defensive position with her arms drawn across her own chest, jaw clenching and relaxing every other moment. when he finally turned to look at her again, he exhaled loudly. 
“we were crazy to think that this could work,” he mumbled, barely audible to y/n, but she was able to make it out. 
even when they fought, the girl seemed to be in sync with him, inhaling deeply, subconsciously countering his previous expulsion of breath. the yin to his yang.
“what are you talking about?”
harry groaned at her words. how didn’t she get this? “y/n, i’m never around! i wake up when you’re still asleep, prepare for the day, go to the venue, help set up the stage, sound check, rehearse a bit, and then ’m off t’go get ready for a show that lasts two hours. almost each night! i come back exhausted and aching to sleep! where d’you see yourself fitting in there?”
when y/n realized it was her turn to speak again, she said, “first off, do you think you could please calm down a little? i can’t talk to you when you’re like this.”
his eyes narrowed. “like what?”
“when you’re acting like a child, harry! i mean, for god’s sake, i’m not nine! i can handle hanging out on my own for a few days at a time and just getting to cuddle with you at night until you have a day off. it’s not like i don’t have things to do throughout the day, too.”
while harry tended to say things he didn’t exactly believe in the heat of the moment, y/n meant every word she uttered. she really was content relaxing in the tour bus or a hotel room taking care of work on her laptop, catching up on new episodes of her favorite shows, or even going out to explore whatever new city they were in by herself. harry had breaks between show days once or twice a week, and the thought of having those days to themselves was enough to sate her desire to spend time with him. it annoyed her that he didn’t understand that, as she’d never been the clingy type and was always very self-sufficient. 
“oh, i’m acting like a child, am i? right, i didn’t realize that wanting t’be present in my relationship with my girlfriend was childish, but hey, you learn something new every day, i s’pose.” 
oh, y/n was really starting to seethe now. letting her arms fall to her sides with a frustrated puff, she began again. 
“god, harry, you’re not childish for wanting to spend time together! i’m saying you need to realize that i’m perfectly capable of waiting for your days off to really spend time with you. you’re acting like we can’t function without each other!”
“the whole idea of you comin‘ on tour with me was to have this time together, y/n,” harry fired back. “if we’re barely going to get to see each other anyways, then what’s the bloody point?”
harry might have spoken too soon. at least, that’s what he thought as he laid overtop y/n on the tour bus couch, because now the point might very well be getting to just feel her lips on his every now and again. 
it was late; harry had just come back from a show. usually, he’s too tired to do anything but crash onto a cloud-like mattress after all the jumping around he does on that stage, but this time all he wanted was his girl. it’d started innocently enough, with harry pulling y/n into his lap on the worn, red leather of the couch. his hands roamed along her hips and down to her waist beneath her soft hoodie (which wasn’t even technically her’s, but is it really theft if harry just leaves his clothes lying around for her to nab?), exploring the soft expanse of her skin, not straying any lower. her own hands were hidden in his curls, lightly scratching at his scalp in what she hoped were soothing motions. 
harry knew he was done for once he initiated the kiss. tentative at first, he pressed light pecks along the corner of her mouth, quick and feathery, like he didn’t really care if he got to kiss her so much as he got to hold her, or simply be with her. but soon, the eagerness set in, like he wasn’t sure when the next time he’d get to have her was, and suddenly he was capturing her mouth with his own, barely giving her a chance to breathe as he tasted her. while harry never really believed in a higher power, he could have sworn he found religion in her lips. 
things only escalated from there. it wasn’t long before harry was wrapping his muscular arms around y/n, so tight that he accidentally squeezed too hard, earning a squeak from the girl. he muttered a hushed but sincere “’m sorry, darling,” to compensate. one hand supported her head, the other splayed across her back as he laid her against the cushions so that he could keep loving on her on the way down. he relished her little whimpers that she tried so hard to suppress, grinning against her jawbone, her neck, any skin he came across on his journey south to more pressing territory. 
harry didn’t bother removing y/n’s hoodie, opting instead to push it up past her naval in favor of gaining access to the waistband of her fluffy sleep shorts. he felt her hands tighten their grip ever so slightly on his shoulders as he hooked his fingers under it, relaxing again when he rubbed the pad of his thumb delicately along her hipbone, reminding her it was only him. 
it was a thing with y/n. she loved harry, of course she did, and she trusted him more than anyone. and maybe it was the way she was brought up, or perhaps a few poor experiences with sexual partners in the past, but there was always a fleeting moment of anxiety before shedding the clothing barrier before sex. like dipping a toe into a cold lake and hesitating a little, then ultimately deciding that jumping in wouldn’t be so bad. 
harry never pried. the first few times they’d slept together, he noticed her nerves, and asked her if she was sure she wanted to continue. y/n had said yes each time, and after a while, he stopped asking. but still, whenever he noticed that brief nervous shift, harry gave her a chance to change her mind. 
this time, he bided his time by sponging tender kisses right above where his fingers were still half hidden under her shorts. he wanted her to feel safe, and taken care of, and he hoped his gentle touches and even breathing could remedy her anxiety. as he waited, harry’s mind drifted…. he was getting lost in the feel of her soft skin, its dips and curves and blemishes. he thought about her waist, how his hands fit so perfectly against its sides; her tummy, and how the muscles there jolted when he tickled them; and her hips… god, if y/n’s body was a church, her hips could be the altar. harry was ready to say a prayer right then, thanking every higher power for blessing him with this gorgeous girl—
“harry?” his love’s melodic voice interrupted his thoughts, and harry’s eyes snapped up to meet hers, his nose continuing to skim just above her navel. “um… you can keep going. please.” 
the corner of harry’s mouth quirked upward, and y/n could have sworn she caught a glimpse of mischief in the jade of his irises, but it was gone in an instant, as he wasted no time in stripping her of her bottoms.
“god, h-harry,” panted y/n, her grip on his curls constricting with every lick to her core, “’s so good, oh—”
“would feel even better if y’stopped trying t’run away from me, wouldn’t it? don’t wanna have to tie you down.”
y/n couldn’t help it! it wasn’t her fault if harry’s tongue was just too good and her body’s natural reaction was to attempt to escape his grip for a little relief. if anything, he should be happy— they’d been at this for so long y/n lost count of the minutes, and after two toe-curling orgasms, one would think harry’s jaw could use a break. 
but that thought flew out the window when y/n remembered who she was metaphorically in bed with. 
“’m sorry…,” she whimpered, gripping the side of the couch cushion as her eyes squeezed shut.
“don‘ have to be sorry, darling,” harry mumbled against her folds, chin glistening with her arousal as he placed a soft kiss to y/n’s clit, making her jolt in his hold. he breathed a short laugh, adjusting his arms so that one held her upper thigh next to his head, while the other pinned her hips to the red leather, restricting her ability to move. “jus’ wanna make you feel as good as possible, is all. will y’let me?”
harry turned his head, nipping at the inside of the girl’s thigh, and she gasped at the brief assault on the softest skin of her body, now adorning the mark of his front teeth that she loved so much. she shuddered a breath as best she could, and harry could tell by the way her knuckles were turning white in their grip on the couch that she was trying her best to be good. feeling a twinge of guilt, he figured maybe he should offer her a second to breathe. y/n opened her eyes when she felt harry’s lips retreat from her aching cunt and the weight of his head rest against the love bite. 
“hey.”
y/n cast her gaze down upon the boy (who looked far too innocent, considering what they were doing) with his cheek laid on her inner thigh, stray hairs tickling her just a tad. playfulness swam in his eyes, but there was an underlying current of concern. 
“doin‘ okay?”
she nodded, gulping. harry noticed. 
“because we can take a break if you want to. just say the word, okay?”
“i will, i-i promise. but… can you please keep going?”
that was all he needed to get right back into it, only with even more fervor than before. when y/n reached her third and final peak of the night, her whole body shook, and harry had the pleasure of getting to watch as he helped her ride out her high. he almost came in his pants, rutting his hips into the sofa, moaning against her core, begging her give it t’me, love, that’s it.
harry pulled back when she started pushing at his head, whining for relief as he gave one final lap at her core. he grinned at her fucked-out figure as he wiped his face on his forearm, then took her hand that had been grasping at the cushion in one of his, bringing the back of it to his lips for a gentle kiss. 
“feel all right, baby?”
“mhm,” she hummed between heaving breaths, glancing at what she assumed could only be a quite painful stiffy between his legs as he sat up, “do you?”
harry followed her line of vision, offering her a chuckle and an i’m fine, using his free hand to smooth his thumb along her brow. before he could even register it, her palm slipped from the grip of his other hand and traveled down to rub against the bulge in his pants, earning a sharp hiss from her boyfriend and a deep groan soon after. 
“why don’t you let me repay the favor?”
harry was pretty sure y/n was asleep. if she wasn’t, she was definitely on the verge— her breaths were deep and even as she laid in his hold, her head on his chest, ear pressed overtop his steadily beating heart. and who could blame her? the evening’s activities had worn her out, which meant harry had done his job properly. he was more than happy to be wide awake, running his fingertips up and down her arm, inhaling the sweet scent of her fruity body wash while she dreamt if it meant she was rested and content and happy. 
moments like these made harry think they could get away with it. the long hours spent apart, the hectic schedules, the fighting. sure, it was tough, and yes, they both had a temper that rivaled one another’s for the ‘least amount of patience award’ on any given day. but every missing ounce of patience was compensated by double its weight in love. they loved one another enough to make it work. 
they could make this work. 
right?
“jesus, harry, how do you think that makes me feel? you’d honestly rather i not be here? are you actually that insecure?”
“c’mon, y/n, you know tha’s not what i meant.”
y/n felt like they were going around in circles, having the same fight over and over again. only this time, the couple found themselves in a beautiful hotel room, with a beautiful view overlooking a beautiful city. and instead of getting to enjoy it, y/n was glaring at harry though the vanity mirror, his back facing her as he tamed his wild curls for tonight’s show… which he had to leave for in just a few short minutes. 
the balled up fist on y/n’s hip flew up to her face, fingers flexing to pinch at the bridge of her nose as her eyes squeezed shut for a moment. 
“i can’t believe this. i dropped everything to be here with you— to support you on the most incredible tour of your career— and instead of being happy i’m here as opposed to the alternative of thousands of miles away in a different time zone for months, you’re sitting here bitching about being too tired?” 
harry sighed deeply, only infuriating y/n more. “you’re missing the point. ’s not that i don’t want you here, or just that ’m too tired. ’s knowing you’re sitting around by yourself, waiting on me while ’m working, when you could be out with friends and family, or sleeping in the comfort of your own bed—”
“that you’re not in!” the girl loudly interjected— how didn’t he get this? “i put all those things aside for us, har. it’s not like i’m leaving my life behind for years. christ’s sake, the tour is over in two months! but somehow, being away from my home and routine is easier than being in the same room as you right now.”
harry contemplated his next words carefully, turning them over in his head a few times and editing any obvious mistakes, leaving the pair of them to marinate in suffocating silence for a good ten or so seconds before he finally spoke. 
“y/n… i can’t be a good boyfriend and a serious artist simultaneously, okay? not while ’m on tour. i can’t keep losing sleep over how well i’m balancing—”
“okay, you know what, harry? you know what? maybe you should just leave me, then. wouldn’t that be easier? you’d be able to sleep better at night, right?”
they both knew she didn’t mean it, though harry couldn’t lie and say it didn’t hurt to hear. but she was pissed, and harry knew better than to try to reason with her when she was like this. 
when she realized he wasn’t going to respond, instead electing to stare brokenly into the mirror, she continued. “you know damn well how hard i work for this relationship. i’ve flown across the oceans that have separated us, driven for hours just to get to see you for, like, one— hell, i’ve skipped some of my most important classes so we could go to shitty dive bars in the middle of the day together! yeah, remember that? i love you, okay? people who love each other are supposed to be grateful for any time they have together at all, no matter if it’s every day or once a year.”
y/n took a breath, finally cooling down after her heated rant. she took a moment to take in the sight of her boyfriend, dressed so vibrantly, feeling anything but. 
“they warned us about times like this,” the defeated tone of y/n’s whisper was enough to finally get harry to say something. 
“what was that, love?”
the girl swallowed the little saliva in her mouth before speaking up a mere decibel. “remember what my parents said? ‘the road gets hard, and you get lost when you’re led by blind faith,’” she imitated her father’s deep voice, and if not for the circumstances, harry might’ve laughed. 
they weren’t lost, were they?
if there was such a thing as heaven on earth, y/n is pretty sure she’s been there. in fact, she goes there whenever harry so much as touches her. 
when he kisses her shin as they lay watching a movie together on the couch, pulling her leg up off his lap and craning his neck downward to meet it in the middle. when he runs his fingers down the bridge of her nose, making an exaggerated boop! noise once he reaches the tip, gently pressing against it like a doorbell. and especially when he has her like this. 
harry’s arms felt secure wrapped around y/n’s torso, her hips moving back and forth atop his own. the feeling of his cock twitching and shifting inside her while her nipples rub deliciously along his chest made her dizzy, like she had just gotten off a loopy rollercoaster. harry’s back arched just slightly off the plush mattress of their hotel suite’s bed when y/n gave a little bounce, arms constricting around her and forcing a pleased sigh to fall from her lips. 
the girl hid her face in the crook of his neck, and harry could feel each and every hot breath against his skin. lost in pleasure, he let his large hands migrate from her hips down to her bum, where he gave a small pinch to the flesh, eliciting a yelp and a small jolt from y/n. 
“sorry, baby,” he laughed, “couldn’t help m’self.” harry gently flattened his palm against the now tender skin, rubbing there softly in an attempt to soothe the little ache he left. when he felt satisfied, he shifted to rubbing between her shoulder blades instead, his other arm still wrapped around her lower back as she returned to her previous rhythm above him. 
y/n could tell harry was enjoying himself. his groans alone were evidence enough, not to mention the little utterances of “shit, darling,” and “so good t’me,” he frequently let slip. but perhaps he just needed a bit more to reach his high, because without warning his hands were on her thighs, gripping tightly as he began to thrust upwards into her at a much quicker pace than she had originally set— it had her seeing stars in a matter of mere seconds. 
“oh, god— harry,” y/n gasped out, gripping the edge of the plush pillow by harry’s ear. she could feel him hitting that special spot inside her with every snap of his hips, and she couldn’t stop her eyes from rolling back into her head, muscles tightening all throughout her body. 
“almost there, angel… just…,” harry’s thrusts began to slow, becoming more deliberate, and now he was moving her hips to grind against his each time they met, sending y/n over the edge. 
y/n’s moans were long and drawn out as she came, body spasms making her hold on more tightly to harry for stability. she didn’t even hear him finish, too busy reveling in the euphoric feeling of cumming in his arms, surrounded by warmth and love and feeling the safest she had in a long while. 
it was moments like these where y/n couldn’t fathom how she’s ever been upset with harry. he was perfect, lying here under her unsteady body, breathing deeply not only to catch his breath, but to take in the smell of her. she wanted this for eternity. and if this was heaven, then surely hell was when they fought with each other. 
y/n thought she was dreaming at first, not used to being roused from her slumber by anything other than her well-timed alarm and the occasional bark of a dog on a nearby street. she expected that after blinking the sleep from her eyes a few times, the vague image of her favorite boy would dissipate, and she’d fall back into the comfort of her warm pillow. but when she squeezed them shut once, then twice, and her boyfriend’s face was still a foot away from her’s, brushing his fingertips up her nose and along her brow, she set aside her exhaustion in exchange for confusion.
now, harry knew better than to wake y/n up. in most circumstances, she’d tell him off, or gently kick at him to get him to leave her alone. he found it rather endearing, and it’s one of the reasons he’s so protective of her in her sleep— always holding her close to keep her safe, shielding her eyes from any light intruding on the space she lay, making sure both their phones were set to ‘do not disturb.’ but he had to make an exception, just this once. 
“darling,” she barely registered his whisper, “wake up f’me, please?”
a whine fell from y/n’s lips, her eyes scrunching shut as she turned her body away from him, which harry knew was code for let me sleep, for fuck’s sake! a smile graced his lips at the action, jotting down a mental note to make this up to her later. 
compensating for the newfound distance between them, harry scooted closer to her. he kneeled on the floor next to the bed, close to the pillows she rested upon. he laid one arm against the mattress, perching his chin on the back of his wrist. using his free hand, he continued to brush his fingertips lightly against his love’s cheek, her jaw— all along her face, really. god, her loves her face so much.  
“please, baby?”
harry had just come back from one of his best performances yet— the crowd’s energy was unmatched, the chemistry between him and his band members was palpable, and he’d managed to not get hit with any flying objects all night! but what really did it for him was the fan project he was surprised with at the end of the show. thousands of people in the room wore light-up bracelets that shone pink and blue during one of his favorite songs, ‘love of my life.’ if harry’s heart had been any more full in that moment, it might’ve exploded right there in his chest. 
he had been on cloud nine for a moment. but soon, realization washed over him in a way that squeezed at his lungs, stealing his breath for a second. the love of his life was somewhere miles away, probably sitting in their hotel room watching a comfort film, oblivious to anything he was feeling on that stage. he just wanted to go home to her and gush about what had happened, and how he wished she’d been there, and how it made so much sense that it would happen during ‘love of my life’ because it was the perfect representation of the amount of love he had for his, and how if she’d have been there, he would have looked directly at her and smiled the whole time. 
it made him realize how bloody stupid he was.
in retrospect, the conversation he’d needlessly just woken y/n up for could have waited until morning. but then harry wouldn’t have been able to sleep if he didn’t tell her he was sorry right away. 
a groan sounded through the room, followed by the ruffling of bedsheets as the girl turned back over to glare annoyedly at harry. he let out a soft laugh at her behavior. 
“’m sorry, baby. know you jus‘ wanna sleep right now, but ’s it okay if we talk for a mo‘?”
“now?” y/n asked in a gravelly voice.
“now, m‘ love.”
with a soft sigh, she relented, sitting up and rubbing the sleep from her eyes with her knuckles. harry caught the motion, bringing his hands up to pull hers away from her face. he didn’t like when y/n did that, as she always managed to do it too roughly. instead, he held her smaller hands in his own, getting up to sit on the edge of the bed, facing her. 
“what is it?” y/n asked through a yawn. harry looked at her for a moment— really looked at her— before responding.
“i’m sorry.”
it took her a moment to register his words. “for waking me up?”
harry laughed that dreamy laugh she loved so much, and it almost made up for the fact that she was up at twelve thirty in the morning. “no, y’little minx. not for that. well, yes, for that, but that’s not what i meant.”
“what are you sorry for, then?” 
harry looked at her with an expression y/n couldn’t place. it look him a few beats to speak. “i… i’m sorry i was such a prick before. i love that you’re here, an‘ that i get t’see you when i’m off. know you put aside a lot for this, an‘ i ruined it with m’own problems. didn’t mean to.”
y/n’s features softened at the boy’s sincerity, and if it weren’t for the warmth his hands encapsulating hers provided, she’d have reached out and held his face, peppering kisses over every dip and curve. 
“i know you didn’t…. i’m sorry, too.”
“for what?”
“i should’ve listened better. you were trying to tell me how you felt and i just disregarded it. that wasn’t very nice of me, either.”
the right corner of harry’s lips tugged upwards, morphing his mouth into that little half-grin y/n adored so much. “think we can get past it, darling?”
the girl scooted forward the tiniest bit, harry’s magnetic pull too hard to resist. though they were the only two in the room, she whispered, “i’ll forgive you if you forgive me.” harry liked how she made something so simple sound like a secret deal between them.
harry’s half-smile quickly quirked up, completing itself, and y/n swooned over his dimples and adorable bunny teeth. a short and quiet breath of a laugh fell past his lips, and for a moment, he just looked at her. but his gaze caught a glimpse of uncertainty in her eyes, and his grin faltered a bit. 
y/n was always good at hiding her true emotions when she wanted to. not when it really mattered, don’t get her wrong— she wasn’t one to take anyone’s shit. but at dinner with her parents or meetings at work, she was able to pretend she wasn’t exhausted or annoyed. it never worked with harry, though. he could read and understand her like his own lyrics, and tonight was no exception. he saw through the mask of humor at her uncertainty, and a pang of guilt bloomed in his chest. 
he let out a sigh as he beckoned her forward by gently tugging her hands, still in his, toward him. “c’mere, baby,” he said softly, pulling his love into his lap. y/n curled into him, knees tucked upward into her chest as his strong arms found purchase around her frame, holding her tenderly but securely. one of harry’s large hands held the back of her head against him, her ear right over his heart, listening to it beat for her. 
“love you like crazy. you’ve no idea.” he peppered light kisses to the top of her head, so softly she might’ve missed one or two. “thank you for comin‘ an‘ s’porting me. means the world, honestly.” 
“i’m happy to be anywhere with you, har,” she replied in a voice honey-thick with sleep. “even if it’s just for a few minutes. always so happy to have you.”
harry closed his eyes, laying back into the pillows, bringing y/n down with him so that she was laying overtop his sturdy body, inhaling his every exhale. 
“you have me,” he said, though he was almost certain she didn’t hear him, likely already pulled into the void of sleep, drawn in by the comfort of harry’s arms, his smell, him. 
“you’ll always have me.”
taglist (final time using the old one, see new link in bio): @fahsey @caswinchester2000 @lmaotshollandd @jackiehollanderr @nervousdadmode @amii-nyc @skitmix @auggie2000 @voguesir @yourgoldengirls @hunnybunimdun @lolooo22 @atoris-fantasy
2K notes · View notes
zeldasnotes · 11 months
Text
SYNASTRY NOTES 2 💍
SYNASTRY NOTES 1
Tumblr media
If you look closely you will see that people with planets in your 1st house and 2nd house always have some kind of physical reaction when seeing you. Either turning their head extra to see you better, or doing something weird with their hands, touch their hair or just start walking on the spot.
Everytime i hear someone say ” Ive never hated someone like I hate her/him” i always know there is Chiron synastry involved.
6th house synastry is so annoying when you dont have good synastry in general. The others person feels like this annoying bug always flying around buzzing. Especially when its a colleague or someone who lives close to you.
Also one of the things ive noticed with Chiron synastry is that one of the people just starts disliking the other out of nowhere and for no reason. The other person can sense this and strikes back hard because of how hurt they are and the war begins. This is why I stay away from Chiron synastry, because the dislike can come at any second out of nowhere.
Venus 8th house synastry can make Venus fascinated by the looks of the house person. Even if house person is not their type there is something intriguing.
8th house synastry also makes the two able to talk without talking. They can feel whats going on with the other without saying anything.
Lilith in the same sign/house shows that you understand eachothers shadow side. You might fight or manipulate in a similar way.
Mars in the 6th house can lead to being annoyed by the others presence. Common between colleagues who dont like eachother but have to see eachother every day.
Eros(433) conjunct Moon can mean you cant keep your hands off eachother.
Knight(29391) in synastry can be someone who comes into your life when you need them the most. You are protective over eachother.
5th house synastry can definitely lead to idealizing. Especially Moon in the 5th house.
Both the woman who used to do microneedling, chemical peels etc and the woman who did microblading on my eyebrows years ago had their Venus in my 8th house of transformation.
As someone with Mercury Square Moon I always found communicating my feelings hard. But i find it easier when I have 3rd house synastry with someone.
I prefer Moon trine Moon in synastry over Moon conjunct Moon. Moon trine Moon feels like sharing a delicious meal at a restaurant while Moon conjunct Moon is the same but the music at the restaurant is too loud and the food a little too spicy.
Venus conjunct Midheaven makes yall look so good together. I have this with a guy and for some reason we always match when it comes to clothes and body language which makes us look like a couple.
Venus conjunct Nemesis(128) can be a lovers turned enemies kind of relationship.
Eros(433) sextile Psyche(16) in synastry shows that the two will have their issues, but will mostly take eachothers side when they see the other in conflict with somebody else. The couple who hates eachother but still wont let anyone come between them.
Someone with their MC in your Ascendant sign might look up to you a lot.
You will find people you have 8th house synastry with as much more attractive than they actually are. And if you dislike them you will find them super intimidating.
Moon in the 8th house makes the Moon person so drawn to the house person that even if they are not attracted to them they will still want to have them. This aspect trumps physical attraction, morals, everything.
I do not recommend Venus conjunct Ascendant in a friendship relationship, especially not if the Venus person is the envious type.
Everyone I had Moon conjunct Psyche(16) with understood me like nobody else.
Which planet your Psyche conjuncts in someones chart can be where you understand them the most and what you have intuition about when it comes to them: Moon = Feelings, Depth, Why they act like they do. Venus = What and who they are atttacted to, why they dress/express themselves the way they do, their behaviour towards others. Ascendant = Who they want to be, how they want to be seen, their confidence.
© 2023 Zeldas Notes
2K notes · View notes
skyeblue8 · 7 months
Text
Ɗᥙҽ 𝜏σ ᙏყ Ɲҽɯ⨍σᥙɳԃ Ƒιχα𝜏ισɳ... ♚
⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰⋆⃟⋆ ⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰ ⋆⃟⋆⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰ ⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰⋆⃟⋆
Specifically with the Gluttonous Sin of Beelzebub being my favorite Sin of the group (not necessarily in Helluva Boss, but just in general), I wanted to make a ranking list of my favorite Queen Bee redesigns and their creators for really no other reason than I just feel like it. Now, this is all personal opinions and should not be taken to heart by any means, it's just for fun:
#1. "Beelzebub & Bibi" by @gravcore
Tumblr media
♡ In terms of an actual redesign of the original, I love how this artist made "Bibi" because, for one thing, they made sense of the originals hair by giving her a ponytail since way too many characters have a mohawk style (Loona included); two, I cannot explain just how much I adore the clothes they gave her. The top is actually insect based and gorgeous, and not some recolor version of Loona's outfit; and third, they made canon Bee her own character rather than a royal because nothing about the OG read "Ancient Sin" to anybody.
♡ Now, in terms of the actual Beelzebub, here, she's legitimately stunning. Rather than a redesign, I can tell this was the original long before the Queen Bee episode came out, and I love how it reads both "70's party girl" and "regal ruler" all in one. That, and the actual bug design aspect and the color scheme. Above all else, I love how they incorporated the lava stomach in her design, too.
#2. "Beelzebub" by @s3tok41b4
Tumblr media
♡ This design can best be described as a literal re-imagine of the canon Beelzebub as it shares almost all her similarities with the actual bug aspect to it that it desperately needed. It's legitimately simplistic but still appealing to the eye, futher showing us that Viv was perfectly capable of making something so simple, but actively chose to make it more confusing than it had to be.
#3. "Beelzebub" by @ruinxl0ve
Tumblr media
♡ Similar to the first two, this shares both a regal and party girl bug aesthetic with the added bonus of actually being beautifully emotive despite not even having a mouth. I feel this beautifully differentiates the design from the original while also making it recognizable and I feel that it kinda feeds into the original concept that Queen Bee could literally "feel the vibe", hinting to her being an empath in some manner.
#4. "The Three Bees" by @onehelluvatime
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
♡ Long story short, these are three individual versions of the Queen Bee and her new placing within the Hellaverse outside of the canon one. For more in-depth explanation of these interpretations, it's best to check the blog yourself. Truly, I love these designs not only because of the visual redesigns themselves, but also the well-crafted and creative explanations and backgrounds regarding these characters. I especially like the idea that the hellhounds within society are half-undead with skull-like appendages and facial aspects.
#5. "Spontaneous Beelzebub" by @redd-byrd
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
♡ I know it's essentially the same as the canon design, but with the small tweaks that were made to this one (the giant "Bee Butt", the added black lines, the actual bug-like wings, the blue-thin eyes), all of them give a more clear indication (at least to me) that this Bee is more higher up than her fellow hellhounds, meaning she looks a lot more like a hybrid thus making her more grand. It's nice how they added these small details for improvement while still essentially leaving the design like its original.
⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰⋆⃟⋆ ⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰ ⋆⃟⋆⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰ ⋆⋆⃟⊱✪⃝⃞⃝⊰⋆⃟⋆
Anyway, thanks for listening to my Ted Talk. Have a nice day!
742 notes · View notes
Text
Demon-haunted computers are back, baby
Tumblr media
Catch me in Miami! I'll be at Books and Books in Coral Gables on Jan 22 at 8PM.
Tumblr media
As a science fiction writer, I am professionally irritated by a lot of sf movies. Not only do those writers get paid a lot more than I do, they insist on including things like "self-destruct" buttons on the bridges of their starships.
Look, I get it. When the evil empire is closing in on your flagship with its secret transdimensional technology, it's important that you keep those secrets out of the emperor's hand. An irrevocable self-destruct switch there on the bridge gets the job done! (It has to be irrevocable, otherwise the baddies'll just swarm the bridge and toggle it off).
But c'mon. If there's a facility built into your spaceship that causes it to explode no matter what the people on the bridge do, that is also a pretty big security risk! What if the bad guy figures out how to hijack the measure that – by design – the people who depend on the spaceship as a matter of life and death can't detect or override?
I mean, sure, you can try to simplify that self-destruct system to make it easier to audit and assure yourself that it doesn't have any bugs in it, but remember Schneier's Law: anyone can design a security system that works so well that they themselves can't think of a flaw in it. That doesn't mean you've made a security system that works – only that you've made a security system that works on people stupider than you.
I know it's weird to be worried about realism in movies that pretend we will ever find a practical means to visit other star systems and shuttle back and forth between them (which we are very, very unlikely to do):
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/09/astrobezzle/#send-robots-instead
But this kind of foolishness galls me. It galls me even more when it happens in the real world of technology design, which is why I've spent the past quarter-century being very cross about Digital Rights Management in general, and trusted computing in particular.
It all starts in 2002, when a team from Microsoft visited our offices at EFF to tell us about this new thing they'd dreamed up called "trusted computing":
https://pluralistic.net/2020/12/05/trusting-trust/#thompsons-devil
The big idea was to stick a second computer inside your computer, a very secure little co-processor, that you couldn't access directly, let alone reprogram or interfere with. As far as this "trusted platform module" was concerned, you were the enemy. The "trust" in trusted computing was about other people being able to trust your computer, even if they didn't trust you.
So that little TPM would do all kinds of cute tricks. It could observe and produce a cryptographically signed manifest of the entire boot-chain of your computer, which was meant to be an unforgeable certificate attesting to which kind of computer you were running and what software you were running on it. That meant that programs on other computers could decide whether to talk to your computer based on whether they agreed with your choices about which code to run.
This process, called "remote attestation," is generally billed as a way to identify and block computers that have been compromised by malware, or to identify gamers who are running cheats and refuse to play with them. But inevitably it turns into a way to refuse service to computers that have privacy blockers turned on, or are running stream-ripping software, or whose owners are blocking ads:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/08/02/self-incrimination/#wei-bai-bai
After all, a system that treats the device's owner as an adversary is a natural ally for the owner's other, human adversaries. The rubric for treating the owner as an adversary focuses on the way that users can be fooled by bad people with bad programs. If your computer gets taken over by malicious software, that malware might intercept queries from your antivirus program and send it false data that lulls it into thinking your computer is fine, even as your private data is being plundered and your system is being used to launch malware attacks on others.
These separate, non-user-accessible, non-updateable secure systems serve a nubs of certainty, a remote fortress that observes and faithfully reports on the interior workings of your computer. This separate system can't be user-modifiable or field-updateable, because then malicious software could impersonate the user and disable the security chip.
It's true that compromised computers are a real and terrifying problem. Your computer is privy to your most intimate secrets and an attacker who can turn it against you can harm you in untold ways. But the widespread redesign of out computers to treat us as their enemies gives rise to a range of completely predictable and – I would argue – even worse harms. Building computers that treat their owners as untrusted parties is a system that works well, but fails badly.
First of all, there are the ways that trusted computing is designed to hurt you. The most reliable way to enshittify something is to supply it over a computer that runs programs you can't alter, and that rats you out to third parties if you run counter-programs that disenshittify the service you're using. That's how we get inkjet printers that refuse to use perfectly good third-party ink and cars that refuse to accept perfectly good engine repairs if they are performed by third-party mechanics:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/07/24/rent-to-pwn/#kitt-is-a-demon
It's how we get cursed devices and appliances, from the juicer that won't squeeze third-party juice to the insulin pump that won't connect to a third-party continuous glucose monitor:
https://arstechnica.com/gaming/2020/01/unauthorized-bread-a-near-future-tale-of-refugees-and-sinister-iot-appliances/
But trusted computing doesn't just create an opaque veil between your computer and the programs you use to inspect and control it. Trusted computing creates a no-go zone where programs can change their behavior based on whether they think they're being observed.
The most prominent example of this is Dieselgate, where auto manufacturers murdered hundreds of people by gimmicking their cars to emit illegal amount of NOX. Key to Dieselgate was a program that sought to determine whether it was being observed by regulators (it checked for the telltale signs of the standard test-suite) and changed its behavior to color within the lines.
Software that is seeking to harm the owner of the device that's running it must be able to detect when it is being run inside a simulation, a test-suite, a virtual machine, or any other hallucinatory virtual world. Just as Descartes couldn't know whether anything was real until he assured himself that he could trust his senses, malware is always questing to discover whether it is running in the real universe, or in a simulation created by a wicked god:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/07/28/descartes-was-an-optimist/#uh-oh
That's why mobile malware uses clever gambits like periodically checking for readings from your device's accelerometer, on the theory that a virtual mobile phone running on a security researcher's test bench won't have the fidelity to generate plausible jiggles to match the real data that comes from a phone in your pocket:
https://arstechnica.com/information-technology/2019/01/google-play-malware-used-phones-motion-sensors-to-conceal-itself/
Sometimes this backfires in absolutely delightful ways. When the Wannacry ransomware was holding the world hostage, the security researcher Marcus Hutchins noticed that its code made reference to a very weird website: iuqerfsodp9ifjaposdfjhgosurijfaewrwergwea.com. Hutchins stood up a website at that address and every Wannacry-infection in the world went instantly dormant:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/07/10/flintstone-delano-roosevelt/#the-matrix
It turns out that Wannacry's authors were using that ferkakte URL the same way that mobile malware authors were using accelerometer readings – to fulfill Descartes' imperative to distinguish the Matrix from reality. The malware authors knew that security researchers often ran malicious code inside sandboxes that answered every network query with fake data in hopes of eliciting responses that could be analyzed for weaknesses. So the Wannacry worm would periodically poll this nonexistent website and, if it got an answer, it would assume that it was being monitored by a security researcher and it would retreat to an encrypted blob, ceasing to operate lest it give intelligence to the enemy. When Hutchins put a webserver up at iuqerfsodp9ifjaposdfjhgosurijfaewrwergwea.com, every Wannacry instance in the world was instantly convinced that it was running on an enemy's simulator and withdrew into sulky hibernation.
The arms race to distinguish simulation from reality is critical and the stakes only get higher by the day. Malware abounds, even as our devices grow more intimately woven through our lives. We put our bodies into computers – cars, buildings – and computers inside our bodies. We absolutely want our computers to be able to faithfully convey what's going on inside them.
But we keep running as hard as we can in the opposite direction, leaning harder into secure computing models built on subsystems in our computers that treat us as the threat. Take UEFI, the ubiquitous security system that observes your computer's boot process, halting it if it sees something it doesn't approve of. On the one hand, this has made installing GNU/Linux and other alternative OSes vastly harder across a wide variety of devices. This means that when a vendor end-of-lifes a gadget, no one can make an alternative OS for it, so off the landfill it goes.
It doesn't help that UEFI – and other trusted computing modules – are covered by Section 1201 of the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA), which makes it a felony to publish information that can bypass or weaken the system. The threat of a five-year prison sentence and a $500,000 fine means that UEFI and other trusted computing systems are understudied, leaving them festering with longstanding bugs:
https://pluralistic.net/2020/09/09/free-sample/#que-viva
Here's where it gets really bad. If an attacker can get inside UEFI, they can run malicious software that – by design – no program running on our computers can detect or block. That badware is running in "Ring -1" – a zone of privilege that overrides the operating system itself.
Here's the bad news: UEFI malware has already been detected in the wild:
https://securelist.com/cosmicstrand-uefi-firmware-rootkit/106973/
And here's the worst news: researchers have just identified another exploitable UEFI bug, dubbed Pixiefail:
https://blog.quarkslab.com/pixiefail-nine-vulnerabilities-in-tianocores-edk-ii-ipv6-network-stack.html
Writing in Ars Technica, Dan Goodin breaks down Pixiefail, describing how anyone on the same LAN as a vulnerable computer can infect its firmware:
https://arstechnica.com/security/2024/01/new-uefi-vulnerabilities-send-firmware-devs-across-an-entire-ecosystem-scrambling/
That vulnerability extends to computers in a data-center where the attacker has a cloud computing instance. PXE – the system that Pixiefail attacks – isn't widely used in home or office environments, but it's very common in data-centers.
Again, once a computer is exploited with Pixiefail, software running on that computer can't detect or delete the Pixiefail code. When the compromised computer is queried by the operating system, Pixiefail undetectably lies to the OS. "Hey, OS, does this drive have a file called 'pixiefail?'" "Nope." "Hey, OS, are you running a process called 'pixiefail?'" "Nope."
This is a self-destruct switch that's been compromised by the enemy, and which no one on the bridge can de-activate – by design. It's not the first time this has happened, and it won't be the last.
There are models for helping your computer bust out of the Matrix. Back in 2016, Edward Snowden and bunnie Huang prototyped and published source code and schematics for an "introspection engine":
https://assets.pubpub.org/aacpjrja/AgainstTheLaw-CounteringLawfulAbusesofDigitalSurveillance.pdf
This is a single-board computer that lives in an ultraslim shim that you slide between your iPhone's mainboard and its case, leaving a ribbon cable poking out of the SIM slot. This connects to a case that has its own OLED display. The board has leads that physically contact each of the network interfaces on the phone, conveying any data they transit to the screen so that you can observe the data your phone is sending without having to trust your phone.
(I liked this gadget so much that I included it as a major plot point in my 2020 novel Attack Surface, the third book in the Little Brother series):
https://craphound.com/attacksurface/
We don't have to cede control over our devices in order to secure them. Indeed, we can't ever secure them unless we can control them. Self-destruct switches don't belong on the bridge of your spaceship, and trusted computing modules don't belong in your devices.
Tumblr media
I'm Kickstarting the audiobook for The Bezzle, the sequel to Red Team Blues, narrated by @wilwheaton! You can pre-order the audiobook and ebook, DRM free, as well as the hardcover, signed or unsigned. There's also bundles with Red Team Blues in ebook, audio or paperback.
Tumblr media
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2024/01/17/descartes-delenda-est/#self-destruct-sequence-initiated
Tumblr media
Image: Mike (modified) https://www.flickr.com/photos/stillwellmike/15676883261/
CC BY-SA 2.0 https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/
577 notes · View notes
galedekarios · 2 months
Text
this is a personal vent post so please let me just get it all out without trying to come at me lol:
so many ppl saying they respect larian's decision to peace out and not deal with hasbro/wotc, but i have to be honest, i don't respect them at all.
they are leaving a game behind that is unfinished and a narrative mess.
they leave a game behind where everyone paid the same amount of money for it, yet depending on which character you prefer, you get less content.
the disparity between everyone else and their writer's pet ast*rion is insane. he has a half to a third more content depending on which character you compare him to.
they leave behind a sparse act 2, which is already so barren compared to act 1 and all it had to offer. act 3 is a narrative mess and lacks structure.
they leave a game behind where they made promises a handful of weeks before release where they ought to have known that they, in fact, will not be delivering said promises: access to the upper city, consequences for playing certain races across the acts (playing a drow is going to be different in act 1 and gives you advantages vs act 3 where it would give you understandable disadvantages), etc etc etc.
they leave behind a game where content was cut from the companions to make it seem like the origins have something to offer when that system is barely able to compare what origin playthroughs offered in dos2 and it hurts the game and the experience (like tara being cut for companion gale).
they leave behind a game where they promised to much variety and proclaimed in panels from hell how they struggled to show the width and depth of the game, but really? it's about as deep as a puddle. a lot of the choices do not matter. kill ethel? nah, she's alive and well in the city. no sister hags to be angry here. give karlach no infernal iron and never talk to her at all? doesn't matter, she'll survive until the end of act 3 and will still call you her bff. dissuade gale to use the orb? we'll make sure he'll still offer 3 more times just in case. send yenna away from camp bc you don't want her there? doesn't matter, she'll stay. and yes, i'm aware these are all small things, but they are part of a larger problem. almost nothing you do truly matters to the point of where i just skip most things in act 1 and 2 now.
they leave behind a game that they promise to still patch, but some things have been broken since early access / release to the point of where i'm like i'm sorry, but your word that you will continue to patch things means about as much to me as all the other empty promises. the dialogue about morena dekarios is still broken and it's been over half a year now. the astral sea scene has low-res body textures for months. i know from mutuals who love minthara that her romance is still broken. and i could go on and on.
and what gets me the most about this is all is that they have learned nothing at all from dos2: act 3 of that game was so bugged and all over the place that i couldn't muster up the motivation to finish it the first time i played. they neglected a character to the point of where he could have been removed from the game or made a general hireling (beast).
those issues were at least attempted to be fixed in the definitive edition.
with swen saying that there will be no new content anymore and stating that both bg3 and its characters are now property of wotc/hasbro, it seems unlikely we'll even get an attempt of a fix.
so what this boils down to to me is just another game company not delivering on their promises after overselling their product and more or less abandoning it after a year to move onto the next big thing.
i don't think i can respect that ngl.
270 notes · View notes
carrymelikeimcute · 7 months
Text
Going over the izzy/lucius/shark exchange is so interesting in the context of this being an episode about apologies. About making concessions and trying to fix things.
(In this ep there's a lot about ed making amends/accommodating the crew's triggers and trauma. It's also about stede having to fix things when he upsets the superstitious crew by not treating their feelings as valid.)
At the start we have Ed's (probably well intentioned) but evasive, non-apology. He does an 'I'm sorry you feel that way' sort of apology about 'whatever that bad stuff was'. It's a wish to do better, but it doesn't really cover what went before. A lot of people interject here, but Izzy remains completely still and silent, off to one side.
Lucius says he never used the word 'sorry' and rightly calls this out. Roach however, says he's never heard an apology before - and liked it - so this seems like as much as it's a first for Ed to take even some accountability, it's probably the first time some of the crew have seen a captain (or anyone else) do this too.
Archie says 'They just get away with it and we move on'.
Lucius rounds on Izzy, because obviously Izzy should have the biggest grievance here. But Izzy responds to the question about Ed's apology as if it was about piracy in general - clearly showing that the cycle of abuse is a feature, not a bug. This is part of his life and identity as a pirate. This is, actually, things going back to normal. You get whipped (and we see these scars on him later) no one apologises, and you just reset to how it was before, pretending nothing has been altered until it all bubbles over again.
Ed then tells stede that he's never apologised for anything. Confirming that most of the crew's responses are in line with their past experiences.
Then Ed goes to fix the door and tells it that it's not its fault that it's broken, it was just doing it's job. This directly parallels Izzy's rant to the figurehead about it failing to do it's job. Ed could be talking about himself here, as Izzy was talking about himself - but to me it doesn't fit that well, because what 'job' was Ed trying to do? He could instead be acknowledging, indirectly, that he is aware that Izzy was doing his job - trying to make sure they all survived and functioned as a crew. Ed probably broke that door, and he broke Izzy. But he has yet to talk to him about it.
Immediately following this, is when he scares the BEJESUS out of Lucius and tells him 'it would be faster to get all this out in one go'. It sounds like a reasonable suggestion, but we know that it doesn't actually work. Lucius pushes him off the boat and it doesn't help. Because 'I hurt you, so now you hurt me' doesn't benefit the abused, it's still about making the abuser feel better - making them feel punished and therefore redeemed, even when their victim isn't healed. I don't think Ed is trying to manipulate Lucius here - both of them think it might help to 'fix things' but fixing things takes emotional intelligence that's not really developed yet.
ENTER, THE SHARK
Izzy starts working on the shark, after the non-apology. He doesn't have it in the 'candle fighting' scene obvs - but he does receive an apology in that scene, when stede says 'feet' and then corrects himself to foot. It's a simple straightforward apology, even if he does sort of laugh awkwardly. Izzy also at least attempted to apologise to Stede in ep. 3 - so he clearly sees the use in apologies - AND right after the apology, Izzy agrees to help stede. Their relationship changes. It gets better and they're no longer stuck in those old patterns. Izzy is full-on gentle parenting stede - even when he shoots down a fucking sail.
He also, notably, states that the crew's feelings on the curse are important. Meaning, how the crew feels is important to him, period.
After this, we're back to Lucius throwing Ed overboard. But it doesn't work because Ed doesn't remember the talent show thing, he doesn't really know why Lucius was so blindsided by that betrayal of trust. It's not about who goes overboard. It's about the dynamics underneath that and those can't be fixed by just trading places for a moment.
FINALLY. We see Izzy finishing the shark, and he's completely unsurprised that Lucius pushing Ed into the water didn't fix things. Izzy's done this 'tit for tat' thing - betraying Ed to the English over being banished - and it ended terribly for both of them. It escalated things. He knows it's not as simply as getting even with someone.
The solution Izzy has chosen to the cycle of his relationship with Ed is to pretend that Ed hasn't done anything to him. A shark did it. Like with the non-apology, blame is being shifted to a third party 'the bad things' the 'bad times'. Lucius (rightly) points out that this is not healthy, but Izzy's response, that's better than not moving on, clearly resonates.
Izzy's response to being hurt was to 1. Get even and 2. (when that proved deeply unsatisfying and made things worse) to put the unresolved conflict behind him. Because he doesn't think Ed is ever going to apologise or change, and wanting those things just hurt more.
Anyone who has parents/a partner/friend who's NEVER apologised for anything, knows how he's feeling. You stop trying to have it out and fix the relationship, and it starts to wither, even though the other person thinks it's healthy.
'Not moving on is worse' is a warning, and it's one that Lucius takes to heart, immediately trying to centre positive things instead of resentment and anger. He shares his feelings with Pete, and their relationship thrives.
The issue here, is that denial doesn't work. Lucius might be able to move on from what happened to him without a proper apology from Ed, but that's because he's not in a relationship with him. Izzy's the one who's really in it with Ed - he's had DECADES of this shit. That can't be willed away.
Stede's resolution to the curse conflict models a healthier method and one that I'm hoping we see in a future episode between Ed/Izzy. He validates the crew's feelings, make a sacrifice (the suit) and TOGETHER they collaborate on a solution to the issue that is mutually satisfactory - he even gets to keep the shirt, as a sort of compromise. It isn't about just making stede or the crew feel better, it's about moving on together.
This happens with Ed and Fang! Ed actually apologises once he realises what, specifically he did wrong. Fang says they're 'sweet' because he beat Ed to death (oof) which outwardly seems like retaliation working - but there has also been an actual apology and Fang wasn't retaliating against Ed, he was standing up for himself - a physical version of saying 'that wasn't OK - you need to change'.
This method of resolution is echoed in the final scene, with stede and ed. They reach an understanding about the pace of their relationship and find a happy medium (holding hands) - mutually satisfied and moving forwards.
Bottom line? I hope we see 1. Ed actually apologise to Izzy and 2. the pair of them outline what it is they want to change in their relationship moving forward, ending the cycle for good.
Thank you for coming to my Ed talk.
601 notes · View notes
scoobhead · 11 months
Text
it seems to me like staff is realizing that people are flocking to tumblr from other social media sites like twitter and reddit, and instead of emphasizing what's great about tumblr as a platform - you can comment on posts sotto voce via tags! you can reblog the same post multiple times, including different versions of the same post! you can completely curate your own tumblr experience by ONLY looking at posts reverse-chronologically from users you follow, which literally no other mainstream social media site lets you do!!! - they've decided that the best way to appeal to these incoming audiences is to conform to the expectations that they have from other sites. staff is planning on changing tumblr UI to better fit these expectations - but those changes would directly destroy what its EXISTING userbase likes about tumblr in the first place.
tumblr does not function like any other social media site. that is a good thing! for example people love being able to click back through reblog chains, especially to read the previous tags, which is a function that doesn't exist on any other social media platform - and it's a function that staff has tumblr has already nerfed on desktop. "prev tags" are a common way for users to interact with the people they're following and provide merit and feedback to those sotto voce comments of the people they follow, and as of right now, it's a functionally extinct practice on the desktop version of the site. the changes that staff has discussed making follow this same trend of eliminating the quirks and idiosyncrasies that people love about this platform.
staff is concerned about tumblr's ability to grow its userbase and generate revenue. they are worried that tumblr isn't intuitive to use, and that the learning curve required to use the site will turn off new users. this is fair. it is a valid concern for a company for have about its product. the issue is that staff doesn't seem to realize that tumblr's uniqueness is its strongest asset. yeah, some of tumblr's features are bugs wearing a suit and tie. but they are, genuinely, features that make the site better and easier to use - and features that tumblr stands out for having. new users are coming to the platform precisely BECAUSE of tumblr's reputation as a site unlike twitter, or instagram, or facebook, or reddit. instead of examining what works about tumblr's current UI and fixing what doesn't (i.e., creating a functional tag searching system), they've decided to stuff tumblr into the twitter mold - but that isn't what people want.
i'm sincerely hoping that tumblr starts listening to its current users. i know a lot of people who use tumblr exclusively as their only social media presence, and i know a lot of those same people who would just quit social media entirely if tumblr gives up the things that make it a good social media platform.
tl;dr: @staff please listen to your userbase about the features that should stick around and about the things that do need to change
806 notes · View notes
jovial-thunder · 3 months
Text
Lancer Tactics devlog
I'm gonna try out posting my ~monthly devlog roundup here as well. These suckers are glorified changelogs with anecdotes and gifs galore. Let me know if this is something you like seeing show up on your dash?
Map Editor
Got units able to be placed/deleted/moved in the mission editor
Tumblr media
Can paint/remove command zones in the editor
Can paint minecraft-like terrain blocks in the editor
Tumblr media
Can paint/rotate multi-tile props in the editor
Tumblr media
Can edit unit character sheets and portrait via the editor
Tumblr media
3D maps
Did a bunch of art tests with 3D mech models, provided by GeneralChaos, which we ended up deciding not to go with to keep things simple.
Tumblr media
To avoid the can of worms that is animation, we'd have to lean into a static "tabletop minatures" aesthetic which we decided is not a style we want to be stuck with. By sticking with 2D sprites, we avoid falling into a sort of uncanny valley; it's easier to get away with not animating a 2D sprite than it is for a 3D model.
Tumblr media
 We also experimented with 3D terrain. We decided to make a rule that the visual style for a piece of terrain should match its mechanical effect: obstructing terrain that you can't move through, such as rocks or buildings, will be in 3D, while non-obstructing terrain like trees will stick with 2D sprites.
Tumblr media
Hooking up the 3D camera to follow events like movement and attacks did a LOT for making it starting to feel like it's cohering into an Actual Game™
Tumblr media
Implemented cover! And an attack preview! Cover works by aiming a ray from the target to the originator (technically to and from each voxel of each, respectively, to handle size 2s shooting above size 1 cover) and tracking all the terrain blocks it hits (how we'll handle non-terrain hard cover TBD). I think I have it working according to Perijove's cover rules manual, but I'm sure there'll be edge cases to work out. This is a case where things are significantly simplified by working in squares instead of hexes; hexes have a lot more possible weird angles you have to deal with.
Tumblr media
Re-added what I'm stubbornly calling Combat Popcorn; little bits of text that pop out when you use abilities and attacks.
Tumblr media
UI & game screens
Added ability for the engine to show UI that's anchored to the game world via a little word bubble line but also stay on screen as the camera moves around.
Tumblr media
Got word bubbles working; you can now write dialogue in the mission editor, hit playtest, and see it work in a mission! (it does actually translate correctly now; this gif is just from a bug I thought was funny)
Tumblr media
Got ability effects mostly behaving appropriately again, including muzzle flashes. The easiest way to handle them ended up being NOT billboarding them so they always face the camera (like all other 2D sprites in the game); instead, I put them on a plane parallel with the ground and just spin them around the unit to point at wherever their target is.
Tumblr media
Did some work ironing out our tooltip system. The standard in CRPGs these days is this kind of nested labyrinth of tooltops that you see in Baldur's Gate 3:
Tumblr media
I Did Not Want to try and figure out how to wrangle that much UI, so we're instead opting to cap the nested tooltips at the second layer. You can lock a general tooltip for e.g. an action and then mouseover various items within that tooltip to get glossary definitions...
Tumblr media
...and then instead of having those glossary tips be lockable/mouse-overable themselves, I collect all related terms to that glossary definition and let you tab through them.
Tumblr media
Added skin overlay functionality to the portrait maker, enabling textures like scars, tattoos, stubble, and vitiligo to be applied to just the skin and not extend off into space.
Tumblr media
Midway through writing this update, Carpenter sent me this gif of the randomization button working! There's a still a bunch of skintones/assets missing and a few are a bit janky, but it was exciting to start seeing the range of these lil freaks (affectionate) that this editor can create.
Tumblr media
Mourning cloak license!
This is the one I'm probably most excited about: I did a bit of a content dive and implemented a basic character sheet + all Mourning Cloak traits and equipment. They don't have fancy graphics yet, but the weapons and systems can be added via the character sheet and used in-game.
Tumblr media
It took a little under a day, including adding soon-to-be common mechanisms like bonus damage. This is great news in that it means the engine we've been building for so long in the abstract seems to do a great job in handling comprehensive actual game content, and that it looks like we've set ourselves up for success when it comes time to buckle down on churning that out.
I'm sure other licenses will come with unique difficulties (I fear the day it comes time to do the Mule Harness // Goblin CP) but I'm feeling good about it!
Vertical slice?
Taking a step back, the pressing question on my mind has been "when will we have a playable early access build?"
I was originally hoping for Feb/March, but what we've internally been referring to as the "3D cataclysm" has pushed everything back by at least three months, so the target for the first alpha build is now in May. So, ah, thanks for your patience! Seeing things come together, I've become more and more convinced that moving to 3D was the right call.
279 notes · View notes
dcxdpdabbles · 9 months
Note
I got the Passion For Fashion brainworms, and since you're guilty for it you WILL get my headcannons.
Since Clockwork made them know spanish as if it was their first language, they only talk in spanish with eachother, more often than not completely forgetting that they are talking in SPANISH.
Danny and Dan like bickering and banter but since they were basically eachother once upon a time they know eachother's limits perfectly. That causes them to say a lot of agressive and downright nasty stuff to eachother so it always sounds like they hate eachother and are constantly fighting.
Clockwork gave them the "essentials" for making clothes, so Dan will absolutely just spam Danny's phonenwith pictures and descriptions of a sewing gadget or tool and be like "Danny i need this. Please. I know you keep making stuff don't lie to me. I know you can do it so please just make it. Danny we are too poor to buy this. Danny PLEASE I need it" until Danny accepts making the thing in true Fenton fashion.
Danny and Dan making up names for themselves because no sane parent names both of their twins "Daniel"
"I swear to the Ancients I will NOT hesitate to go Cain Instinct on your ass-"
Making fun of Vlad together. Just. Making fun of him in general.
The pmoment Bruce decides to show some interest in the twins Danny go home running and be like "Dan. Dan I fuckked up. Dan there's another billionaire after us. Dan how do I always fuck this up." and since they're both dumbasses they panic together and the batkids (who are most likely listening in with a bug or smth) are all just laughing at Bruce's sour face.
Dan headcannons cuz i love him:
I think that even if they're identical twins, Dan has longer hair with a dark gray streak (cuz of vlad ofc)
even if he is a fashion maker he probably goes everywhere wearing sweatpants and a hoodie.
Dan forcefully makes Danny do skincare to make his appearance look good but will never even drink a glass of water for his own health.
I love them and spent the entire day without internet so now I'm devoting myself thanks for the content <3<3
Tumblr media
I love all of these!! Its beautiful!
Danny and Dan not realizing they slipped into Spanish is such a mood tbh. Sometimes, my coworkers and I do that, and my non Spanish speaking coworker just stares at us until we snap.
Lowkey they dislike each other, but they also love each other, and no one can tell with the insults they threw. Danny and Dan live and breath the "Only I can be mean to my sibling!"
Danny would make Dan anything he asked for if it meant keeping his Obsession healthy. On the one hand, it gives him something to do and, on the other hand, keeps Dan from jumping off the deep end again. He does get annoyed with Dan spamming him at three in the moring for "A machine that could double bedazzled and polish!"
Both kept their names as Danny and Dan, so neither is Daniel. Clockwork did that when he made their files. He knew if he tried to change their names, both would refuse to answer.
They turned Vlad into a verb. Danny trips over air? "You went and Vlad-ed everything bro" Dan refuses to shower cause he has some embroidery to do? "Ugh you Vlad-ed all of my scent receivers" sometimes when the fight is really big Danny will yell "YOUR JUST LIKE YOUR FATHER VLAD!" and Dan will gasp dramatically before bursting into tears. ( Cause he took Vlad ghost that makes him half vlad and Dan has to live with that)
Bruce would never understand why the twins are more freaked out by Brucie Wayne then Batman. His kids think it's hilarious.
Dan and Danny are identical down to the hairstyle in my au, but That will change with time. Dan will grow out his hair to put it in a man bun, while Danny will cut it short. And yes, Dan wears nothing by sweats or PJs. He doesn't care about the clothes after they are finished. He just likes making them.
Dan was a pure ghost for almost ten years before Clockwork messed with his body and threw it back into its teens. He is not used to doing most basic human needs like showering, eating, sleeping, and, of course, drinking water. Danny has to remind him his headache is due to lake of all the things mentioned. That will not stop him from designing a strict beauty regime for Danny, including hourly water intake.
Last little detail, both are terrible at social interactions. Dan beacuse he thinks of himself as a ghost and doesn't like humans so he avoids them if he can and Danny cause he sees everyone as unimportant since he's planning on going home. Neither of them know anything about Batman besides what clockwork told them. As of part 3 they didn't even know he was a vigilante. So this lake of information means they don't know anyhring about the rest of Gotham and that will play a big part in how they react to villains.
Also yes, Dan was being genuinely interested when he flirted with Killer Croc, but that's cause he thought he was a EverBurning. A group of Lizard men in the ghost zone is similar to the FarFrozen society only they live in volcano surrounded by lava.
552 notes · View notes
Could you do Platonic Yanderes Endeavor (reformed), Aizawa, Present Mic, with a child darling who wears a mask and basically said screw hero life and became a vigilante + them finding out there a kid under the mask
Tumblr media
Child Vigilante Reader | Yandere Boku No Hero Academia
They recognized that you were short and the words you’d say sounded funny in your deep voice modulator. But it still came as a surprise when they pulled that mask off your face to reveal the lightly battered face of a young child:
Tumblr media
Aizawa Shota
Just by your height and general instinct as a hero he’s always putting a protective arm in front of you
And he figures your young with your insistent yells that ‘you’re not a kid’ 
Only to pick up your injured body taking off your mask to check if your okay
Only to be filled with an overwhelming urge to protect you as he registered how little you are
You’re his kid now 
No questions asked
He takes you to his home, having had you checked up by the doctors
He’ll do his research find out what you’re homelife is like
when you don’t show up and a fuss isn’t raise he takes it upon himself to officially adopt you
“You’re not my dad!”
“Your papers don’t say so!”
“Then give ‘em to me I’ll burn it now!”
“No!”
He’s used to dealing with rowdy kids
And he’s willing to deal with your now unpowered fits
And most animosity is cleared up when he gives you some food
You’ll try to run away but he catches you everytime
And eventually you’ll fall into a cycle
Where you join him as you fight crime 
Then you go home and live the domestic life with Aizawa
He doesn’t stop you until he feels like its too dangerous and when you’re lured into a false sense of security
“Sorry kid, I can’t have you getting hurt. Trust me this is an act of love.”
Tumblr media
Hizashi Yamada
He probably quietly follows you at the end of a long day
Doing the thing he’s never doing around you: Being Quiet
Usually he doesn’t mind working with you 
After a couple attempts to bring you in he doesn’t anymore
And instead just works in harmony with you 
Usually joking and bantering with you to turn down all his jokes
But he’s horrified to know that your a kid
Young enough to be his kid is so nonreactive to his animated actions
What made you so serious!?
He does the same as Aizawa 
Finds out your homelife and legally takes control
“Whazzup kiddo! Guess who’s your new daddy!?”
“A bumbling frat boy idiot-hero?”
“Ack! H-how do you even know to insult me like that!?”
He’s not the best at catching you if you try to run away 
But you’re so lucid you’ll end up willingly moving in with him
because child services
He tries 
He really does
But you’re such a little adult you end up teaching him how to properly take care of you
He doesn’t really restrict you because you seem like you’re so smart
You usually outsmart him enough to keep doing your vigilante work
But the one time he outsmarts you, he might get some help you’re stuck
At least for this major battle you were prepared to die defeating
“Sorry baby bird, but I can’t have you getting hurt. That’s for your papa to deal with!” 
Tumblr media
Todoroki Enji (Reformed)
“And you’ll be going away for a loong time.”
“Yes…thank you for your help with this one.”
“Of course! Always happy to help!” 
“...”
“...”
“...Now reveal yourself to me!” 
“Hey!? Let me go!”
He’s suspected you were young from the beginning 
And it infuriates him now
That some idiot father of yours would let you run around like this
They’re probably as bad as he was 
And he can’t let that be
So he’ll go to your family’s home
And tear them a new one 
Practically bullying them into signing adoption papers or at the very least making you meet up with him weekly daily
He’s such an old man
Lecturing you about how you dress 
Scolding you when he finds you fighting villains
He’ll force a bunch of tracking devices and bugs in your room 
So that he can keep you safe
And when it gets real he doesn’t mind locking you wherever he decides is best
“I’ve done…a lot of horrible things. I’ve hurt my family. I’ve hurt my fans. And you’ll probably hate me but you need me to protect you, to guide you. So trust me, this is for your own good.”
926 notes · View notes
masonm19 · 2 months
Text
when two became three - mason mount x reader
Tumblr media
Your eyes snapped open as you felt your stomach start to churn. Remaining still, you tried to see if you could wait out the horrible feeling, hoping it would pass. It was a quiet morning, and the intention was that you could remain wrapped in your lovers arms as long as you liked that day. But your stomach had a different idea, and it apparently wasn't going away, evidenced by the nausea that was quickly overwhelming you.
Trying to be gentle as possible, you wiggled out of Mason's arms and started heading, sprinting actually, to the bathroom to empty the contents of your stomach. You could barely wait for the door to open before getting down on your knees and leaving over the toilet and emptying everything you had in your stomach. You hadn't realised that Mason had followed you; apparently you made more noise than you originally intended. He squatted down behind you before softly pulling your hair back and out of your face, murmuring soft things to you as you heaved.
"You're sick again," he observed quietly as you finally finished being sick and sat down on the floor, wiping your mouth with a tissue. He sat next to you, pausing only for a moment before pulling you into his lap, giving the side of your head a kiss, "Are you all right?"
"I think so," you sighed as you rested your head against his chest, "must have been something I ate. I don't see what else it could be, or it's just some kind of stomach bug."
"It's been happening a lot lately," he said softly, and you knew he was right. More often than not lately had you found yourself running and throwing up in the mornings, all kinds of different things causing your stomach to sour. "Maybe it's something you should get checked out?" Mason said softly before hugging me from behind, nuzzling his face into my shoulder before placing a kiss on my neck.
"I'm sure it's nothing," you tried to reassure him, looking up at him and nuzzling your noses against his, "it's probably something that's just hanging on and will clear up on its own."
"Y/N, my love, I don't want to take the chance that it is nothing," he insisted, putting his hand under your chin so you were looking up at him, seeing that there was nothing but concern in his soft brown eyes, "please promise me that you'll get it checked out. If not for your sake, then do it for mine."
"How can I say no to you?" You decided it was easier to give in to his simple request than try and fight him on it. Perhaps he had a point anyway, maybe it was something more to it than you originally thought, "I promise that I'll go and get it checked out and we'll see what's going on."
The following afternoon you found yourself getting through the crowded city in London making your way to the doctors. You walked up to the counter where you found the receptionist sitting there, setting your hands on the counter anxiously, "hi I was wondering if it was possible to see a doctor?"
"Of course! You've come at a good time, we're actually slow today," she smiled at you. Part of you wouldn't have minded if you were turned away and could return to Mason and pretend you'd got checked out and that nothing was wrong. But you knew he would be able to see right through you either way, he knows you too well.
"What's been going on?" The doctor asked, "I've been getting sick a lot lately," you started to explain, "mostly in the mornings, sometimes throughout the day. Just general nausea. I just want to make sure it's nothing serious. My husband was getting concerned too."
"Oh," the woman smiled at you, almost in a knowing way as she scribbled down a few notes, "go ahead and take a seat. I'll have someone with you in a few minutes."
Before you knew it, you were sitting on an examination table, swinging your legs back and forth as y Ou waited for the doctor to return. She'd spent a few minutes talking to you before performing an examination that didn't last long. It was a most as she, just as the receptionist at the front, already knew what was going on. Part you felt like it was just going to be something obvious, that should've easily been able to fig Ure on your own.
"Y/N," the doctor came back in, a smile on your face as she clutched her clipboard to her chest. She didn't seem worried, but rather happy, and you felt a bit of relief wash through your body, "You don't have anything to worry about. But I have one question for you."
"Go ahead."
"What is the date of your last menstrual cycle?" You were taken aback for a moment before trying to think of the date, racking your brain. That's when you realised you couldn't remember. It hadn't been last month, the month before that.
"Ermm," you said as you hung your head, "I honestly don't remember. It must have been at least-"
"Three months?" She asked and you nodded in response. How had it been that long and you hadn't noticed? It had always come like clockwork every month, except recently. You should've noticed, this was deal to miss, "Which I think you know what this means."
"Huh?" You asked as you still didn't manage to put two and two together, "I don't-"
"You're pregnant," she said as your jaw dropped at her announcement, "your about three months pregnant."
"Pregnant," you repeated, the word bouncing around in your head. Pregnant. Pregnant. Pregnant, "I can't be pregnant."
"Well, I'm here to tell you that you are," she pulled a few papers from her clipboard and handed them to, "this has all the details and information you need. There's going to be a lot of changes happening so there is plenty of information on that, and different options. I know you might be scared right now, but it'll be okay. You'll always have someone by your side to help you with whatever decision you make."
"Thank you," you hadn't realised that tears were welling in your eyes, from fear, excitement and relief now that you had your answer. You should have known all the signs that would lead up to this, how could you be stupid? The doctor put a hand on your shoulder and gave it a gentle, but reassuring squeeze,
"It's a lot. I feel like this is really obvious but I had no clue."
"Don't worry," she said with a wink, "a lot of people don't. It may seem obvious, but in the moment when it's happening to you, it's not obvious at all."
"Thank goodness," you said with a nervous laugh, "it's a lot to take in."
"Congratulations," she beamed at you, "I'm sure you must be excited to tell your husband."
"My husband," you repeated as realisation set in and you'd have to actually tell Mason. Besides, it wasn't something that you were just going to be able to ignore for much longer, and he's know anyway, he was perceptive as could be, "yes, that should be interesting."
"Is this your first?"
"Yes, it is our first, so all the emotions are kicking in right now."
"I'm sure you and your husband have so much to be excited for!" She said as she made a few notes on her chart, "well you're free to go, and make sure to come back and see us soon, to make sure to set appointments for regular check ups."
"Of course," you were still feeling shell-shocked as you tried to process everything, "I'll be sure to do that."
You got home to Mason startling you from behind.
"Y/N?" He asked as he came up behind you, wrapping his arms around your waist and resting his head on your shoulder, "you're home."
"I'm home," you smiled at the sound of his familiar voice, "where were you?"
"Just went out," he spun you around so you were facing him. He reached behind him on the counter and showed you a blooming bouquet of bright flowers, "getting you these. I figured they might help cheer you up since you haven't been feeling well.
You felt your heart melt before you kiss Mason and give him a tight hug, "my handsome. Thank you so much, seriously. You have no idea what it this means to me."
"It's because I love you so much," Mason reached over and brushed a lock of hair out of your face.
"I love you too," you said as you leaned into his touch, having rested his hand on your cheek.
"How did it go with the doctor? Did you find out what's been going on?" He asked and you nodded in response. Of course he was going to ask right away, he was probably more concerned than you were. You thought about lying to him so you could surprise him, but didn't have it in your heart, knowing he would call you out about it right away.
"I did, yeah," you answered, giving him a small nod,"it's nothing bad."
"What's going on then?" He asked, trying to get you to look at him, "what happened, sweetheart?"
You suddenly felt nervous, unsure of how to spit it out and just tell him the news. It was just two simple words, but you somehow they seemed like the hardest ones, "it's just that I'm...."
"What is it?" He asked softly, as he gave you a smile, his dark eyes soft. You loved everything about him, but in that moment it all seemed intensified; Mason really was your everything. Before you could stop yourself, you leaned over and pecked his lips, lingering against them for just a moment. He chuckled as he put an arm around your waist, "come on, tell me, you've got me on pins and needless here!"
"I'm pregnant," you blurted out before you could stop yourself, a hand going to your mouth in surprise.
Mason looked at you stunned for a moment for a moment, his brow furrowing as a look of confusion crossed his features. He remained silent for a moment as he went through about ten different emotions all at once.
"Pregnant," he repeated as he tested the word out, seeing how it sounded coming from his own lips, "pregnant? You're pregnant."
"Yes," you said as you tried to figure out whether or not he was happy, "please tell me you're not upset."
"Upset?" He asked quietly as you gave him a small nod, the back of your eyes stinging with tears, "I'm not upset, not in the slightest. I'm happy, my love, so fucking happy."
"You are?" You asked as a single tear rolled down your cheeks, only to be quickly wiped away by Mason, "I'm so scared."
"It's okay to be scared," he said as his own eyes started to get glassy, "I"m scared too, but it'll be okay. Everything will be perfect, because we're having a baby. We're having a baby. I love you so much, Y/N."
Mason pulled you close to him and rested his forehead against yours, one of his favourite signs of affection, "I can't believe this is happening. Everything is perfect, I couldn't have asked for anything better."
"I'm glad you're happy, Mason," you said quietly, "I love you so much."
"I am and I love you," he whispered back, "more than anything else in the world. The two of you, referring to the unborn baby in your stomach"
228 notes · View notes