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fandomness--randomness · 3 years

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Not so Hard Run Ins {Reiner Braun x Reader}

Warnings: none, just fluff and embarrassing stuff lol

Word Count: 1.7k

Summary: You just wanted to return a shirt Marco had lended you, instead you found yourself face to face with your longtime crush.... or rather face to chest.

inspired by this tiktok

Anyways - I love Reiner and his hella mommy milkers (I've loved this hoe since season 1, I am the ultimate Reiner simp)

Sasha let out a long groan as she stretched her arms high above her head. Her joints cracked and popped as she did so. “Gah! I’m so hungry!” She whined.

“Please - you’re hungry all the time.” You chuckled softly, landing a light punch across Sasha’s arm. The girl overreacted, splayed herself across the porch banister and placed the back of her hand across her forehead like some kind of damsel in distress.

“Oh woe is me! I have been slain!” She cried out.

Connie, who was walking from the training field with Jean and Marco, quickly joined in on the antics. He laid himself across the banister next to Sasha in a similar fashion and began to lament of their shared demise. Something about how if Sasha, his partner in crime and fellow prankster, died - he too would die of heartbreak and boredom.

Rolling your eyes, you walk into the cafeteria with Marco as Jean attempts to pull them out of their improve scene.

“When those two start acting up, I can’t help but feel old.” You muttered as you snatched a plate of whatever mediocre slop they had been feeding the training corps the last three years and some stale bread.

Marco chuckled. “Come on (Y/N), don’t say that. You’re only a few years older than us. It’s not like you’re some old lady who can barely walk.” He sat down on the bench gently while you plopped down without a care.

Rolling your shoulder, you scoffed. “I sure feel like it with all this hand to hand combat lately. I just want to get back to ODM training already.”

Two more, much taller figures than you and Marco sat down across from you with their own meals.

“Well now, if you’re an old lady does that make Bertholdt and I old men?” Reiner joked before taking a bite of his bread. “We’re the same age after all.” He added, sending you a soft smile.

Clenching your fist under the table, you turned your gaze to your dinner and fought back the oncoming heat to your cheeks. You’re not sure when it happened - but along the path of tough,constant training and awkward teenage development, you found yourself in love with the muscular blond. You didn’t think much of him at first, thinking he was just like the other stupid boys from your village that showed off their muscles in an attempt to woo girls like you and your friends.

But that idea began to crumble when his brotherly nature was revealed and he offered a helping hand to the other cadets when they needed it. The misconception was practically destroyed the day he offered to carry you back to camp after you had rammed right into a tree while using ODM gear. You had originally wanted to curse out Eren for being overly cocky and nearly crashing into you, which caused you to overcorrect and smash into the tree - but the feeling of Reiner’s muscular back against your chest was just too distracting. That night you practically ran to bed in an embarrassed mess.

Tonight would no doubt be the same if Reiner continued to joke around with you.

Shoveling some food into your mouth, you leaned onto the table with your elbows and pointed the old spoon at Reiner. “I’m - what - 3 months older than you? I’ve practically got years of wisdom on you.”

Reiner laughed at your remark just as the rest of your friends joined the table - Sasha and Connie sporting reddened ears and Jean nearly having a vein in his forehead pop.

Smiling at your fellow cadets, you let yourself fall into the flow of conversation. And although you loved and appreciated all your friends, you couldn’t help but let your eyes wander over to Reiner every once in a while.

Thankfully, there was no after dinner training - so the cadets had a few hours of freetime until the lights went out. This gave you the chance to finally get around to cleaning your laundry and refreshing your ODM gear.

While others found doing laundry to be a pain Sasha, you found the rhythmic pattern to be soothing and comfortable. Because of this, more than often, you would do laundry for yourself and few of your friends.

Popping your head into the giant dorm room, you called out to the rest of the girls. “Hey, does anyone need their laundry done? I want to get it done before it gets dark so give it to me now if you want.” Most of the girls shook their head, thanking you for the offer, but some of the others handed off small baskets of clothes and bedsheets.

“Thank you so much (Y/N)!” Christa exclaimed.

You smiled back at her. “It’s no problem. This way they'll be able to dry overnight if need be.”

Walking back outside with a few more baskets of laundry, you set to work. It was the height of summer and the sun was still beating down on the poor training corps. Thankfully, it hadn’t rained in some time so there was no lingering humidity that would prolong the drying process.

It was so hot and dry that your first round of laundry was done drying by the time you finished washing the entire load. Pulling the dry laundry off of the pins, you brought them inside and to their appropriate owners before going to the equipment building to clean and polish your ODM gear.

By the time you returned to the hanging clothes, the sun was starting to set.

You smiled in victory at the realization that all of the laundry had dried. Setting everything in the appropriate baskets, you lugged the now clean clothes and bedsheets inside. The girls who had taken up your offer thanked you again as they readied themselves for bed.

Taking your own basket to your bed (thank god for having the bottom bunk) you began to unload and fold the laundry. All was normal until you came across a large navy blue shirt. It was certainly too big to be yours and you didn’t own anything like this.

Then you remembered. Slapping a hand across your forehead, you let out a long sigh.

The week prior, Sasha had knocked you right into the mud during some after dinner training. Thankfully Marco and Jean were watching the two of you, so being the kind soul he was, Marco rushed into his dorm and grabbed an extra shirt for you to change into quickly.

Biting the inside of your cheek, you glanced out the window. The sun had set, but the torches outside and lights inside the other buildings were still lit.

Turning to Mikasa, you asked, “do you think I have enough time to return this shirt to Marco? Before lights out?”

The ravenette glanced at you, the shirt, outside the window, and then back to you. She nodded lightly. “Yeah, I think it’s safe. The sun set only a few minutes ago. Lights shouldn’t be called for another 30 minutes.”

Letting out a breath of relief, you jogged out the door and called out a thanks to Mikasa for her stable judgment.

It wasn’t uncommon for cadets to go back and forth between the dorms despite their gender. You and Sasha were often found invading Jean and Connie’s space to beg them to play cards with you two and Marco. Eren and Armin always seemed to be calling for Mikasa to come hang out with them too. But that was when the sun was out.

Going to the others’ dormitory building when the sun had already set was sort of...taboo among cadets, even if it was technically allowed.

No one just wanted to walk into the dorms when the chance of walking into the other cadets changing or even bathing were at its peak. But this was just a quick trip in and out. You’d be fine.

Slipping into the boys dormitory hall, you started the familiar trek to the dorm room Marco was in. It was practically ingrained into your head at this point (not to mention that the dorm buildings’ layouts were the exact same). You expected to run in and run out - no issues.

That was until you turned a corner and came face first with a wall. At least that’s what you would’ve thought if the wall didn’t let out a surprised grunt.

Horror flooded through your veins as you realized your cheek was pressed right against someone’s bare chest, the heat of their skin radiating across your face. Glancing up, that horror doubled - no, tripled - in size.

You hadn’t just ran into some random boy. No - you had just ran right into Reiner Braun, who was only clad in a towel around his waist with skin still damp from his shower.

The red blush you had pushed back at dinner came back full force. The two of you stared at each other for a moment in surprise. Reiner’s own blush spread across his cheeks and ears.

“He’s really warm.” You thought. “And a lot more muscular than I thought. Yet his chest is so soft. I feel like I could fall asleep on it.” You stared at his deep hazel eyes. “I really want to run my hands across his chest. Does he have abs too? Oh what I would do to be able to let my hands wander down furth-”

A droplet of water from Reiner’s hair dripped onto your nose.

“THIS IS FOR MARCO PLEASE GIVE IT TO HIM!” You screamed, shoving the now wrinkled shirt into Reiner’s chest.

Not waiting for a response, you turned onto your heel and ran out of the dorm practically screaming - a high pitched whine and curses following your wake. You didn’t stop until you had your face planted into the mattress and body huddled in blankets.

Your entire body was on fire as your friends questioned what had happened. Some were more worried, like Christa; while others immediately thought the worst may have happened like Mikasa and Sasha. Eventually, when you kept shaking your head and refused to come out of your blankets, your friend retired to their beds. All except Sasha, who sat next to you, swinging her legs back and forth as she waited.

Peeking out of the blanket, you looked up at her.

“I did something so embarrassing, Sash.”

#reiner braun x reader #reiner braun #reiner braun imagine #aot oneshots #attack on titan #attack on titan imagine #reiner braun and mommy milkers #I love this man so much #I just wanna hold his hand so badly #and ride his d!ck even more #{🥵 - thirsting}

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skinfeeler · 5 years

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meandering diary post, or the melancholic tale of my 24-hour completely onesided romance in the context of the human condition

[[MORE]]

i've been a member of a student organisation for queer people for about half a year now. this means that i hadn't attended an introductory period yet — once an academic year, at the start of it — but that i knew basically everyone who organised it.

after a few days of miscellaneous activities that were mostly 'okay' (minus a drunk fall of my bike at some point) i knew a couple more people. still, it was nothing like the summer camp at the end of it.

the first 90% of the journey was by train. i shared four seats facing each other with three other people, including a girl who was slightly taller and a bit older than me. she had brought a wine bottle and so it happened that the four of us already started drinking at about 15, not even at the camp yet.

we got along though— especially this girl and i. we talked a bunch about the kinds of exercise/sports we like. she was my second round that day in explaining the rules of roller derby, i can do it in about 20 seconds now with the help of the images from the 'basics' section of this article: http://mtlrollerderby.com/the-rules-of-roller-derby/?lang=en w

e also talked about gender a bit. it went all right. we had a later conversation in our bunk that day where we really bonded, about trauma too and all that stuff.

"we have a bond, i think."

that was later though, for now i was still on my way. at some point i turned inwards as i sometimes do and during one of the transfers while outside she pulled me away and asked me if i was all right. i explained that i just have a few issues and that sometimes they played up. she gave me the big scarf she was wearing and told me to put it over my head and narrow my field of vision that way, just kind of hide in it. that that's what she does when she's not well. that was nice of her.

we missed the train-bus connection because we went to the supermarket of the small remote village to buy more wine, but we got picked up by a second bus a bit later.

once at the place i changed into a sexier outfit and instantly felt more confident. this was immediately crushed once people started making (completely benign) jokes about std tests. i started thinking about my own test and the rape that happened before it and just went sit somewhere with a beer bottle to be sad. one of the people who i knew was an organiser but didn't personally know asked me if i was all right and i stood up and tried to ask if we could go outside for a bit, but didn't manage to speak because i was already crying. fortunately he understood the cue. i told him about that i got triggered and he made sure to make it clear to me that the committee would do its best to look after me if i allowed him to tell that sometimes i get like this, with them not having to know what exactly. i took him up on the offer, and it helped that subsequently an organiser would occasionally come to me when i lost my vibe, which was quite often.

but in that moment just knowing people actually take it seriously was enough, and i told him that the best thing now would probably just be to rejoin the party and chug my beer, and so we returned inside and so i did.

a while later i lost a good portion of my energy again. in a fateful moment, i decided to go back to my room which i shared with others. my new friend was talking about speed with another girl, who ended up giving it to us.

"i'm done with this crap. you can have it if you want to."

i don't have the required associations to procure anything like this myself, so i thought i'd not pass up on the opportunity.

the four of us went back downstairs.

first i was cold, tired, and dull. now i possessed immense warmth, energy, and clarity, almost immediately.

i asked my friend if this is about what i should be feeling. she told me it was, but also immediately switched to her more caring tone and that i should be careful.

"if you ever want to try something, you can always do it at my place."

sounds like a fucked up bid to get me in a vulnerable situation, but given the context and her general conduct i am certain she really was just caring about me in a slightly dark way.

there were drinking games that we played in teams, in most of them chugging alcohol fast combined with skills of physical dexterity was determinant. in my current state, i was absurdly good at both on top of my usual degree of mastery and won us the tournament. it was nice to get cheered on lots— it was cool to be in a parallel dimension where suddenly the skills i had were brought up a number of times in the days after.

i had a great night. i hadn't been (that) happy in months. every moment my body was bursting with energy. i love dancing, and i especially love dancing when weird fellow mental cases who have taken it upon themselves for reasons i don't understand grasp both my hands, pull me in, and keep me very close to them. later we sat on a couch and i leaned against her and it was very nice. every time i asked her if she was uncomfortable she pet my head for a bit, so obviously i was instantly in love.

alcohol disables your mental safeguards and this can backfire. cigarettes just make you slow. speed simply solved every problem instantly.

we danced until 0400. after that we were offered a joint by someone and we passed that around in a circle so we could sleep better. it worked very well, but by the time we went to bed, it was simply almost time to get up, and they don't fuck around with schedule at student camps.

i woke up in agony because the day before i went on camp i had a really intense derby training, and when i dance, i really love to bring my hips into it. everything between my waist and knees was searing, burning, i had to stretch and massage until i took the edge off enough that i could convince myself that i wasn't injured. the night before i hadn't felt anything at all. obviously i was also more hungover than ever before, but like, whatever. because i value a varied diet and a rigorous exercise routine, i decided to take it easy from thereon, only start drinking in the evening, et cetera. i was already going to skip sunday training for this, and additionally there are a few resistance training goals that i want to meet in the near future.

these three felt otherwise. they would go on to drink all day. it was very difficult to talk to any of them, although they seemed to be having fun though. i was kind of bothered that i couldn't talk to this girl meaningfully at all anymore at some point, so during that day and the last day of camp i kind of stopped feeling something for her entirely, which was very odd, completely unlike how it usually goes for me.

we played some games, including a quiz. my team won the quiz, but not the other game.

that night most of my acquaintances were absent for the first part. the sweet autistic metalhead i met earlier had gone to her one-person bedroom to decompress, the three from the start were apparently on a walk that i couldn't safely participate in, the others were fuck knows where. i was in a really, really bad mood. i knew that speed would solve all my problems, allow me to join the dance party going on. instead i wasted away on a couch for a while.

then there was dinner, and then an awards show. two games won (the beer game counted) meant i was called in front twice and won a shot of hard liquor as a price, thus twice in a row. very convenient for my fealty to fitness, but at least nice.

afterwards, a number of friends were periodically back on the dance floor in shifts, and the shots were doing their job. the nice thing about shots is that they mean you don't constantly have to piss as with beer, so they made a nice base for the rest of my consumption that night.

i found my new favorite pop song dancing with the girl who i have a particular unbreakable fealty to— that resultant from me breaking down in her arms about a girl not liking me back earlier that year lol

that girl would eventually do some things to me that would present one of the main causes of me at times completely turning inwards and become unable to talk to people, simply looking on and knowing my humanity has been taken away from me by many people.

but right there, dancing, knowing i was surrounded by people who care about me even if i am nothing like then, i was doing just fine, despite having quietly had a mental breakdown on that couch where everything at once played up.

eventually the music selection turned to shit and i decided to do the smart thing and have six hours of sleep instead of two. some sweet angels made sure to coax me into drinking lots of water.

"you'll be grateful in the morning."

a decent night, minus the transmisogynist components of some sketch one of the members of the previous committee did. i'll talk to her about it soon and i'm confident she'll understand how it was hurtful— i had a drunk conversation with two other girls in the restroom about it and they were fully behind me and encouraged me to do this.

the next morning almost everyone was still drinking, despite the fact that most of the day we would just spend in a bus bringing us back from the middle of nowhere.

at some point i sat down on a couch and for the first time in days, took out my ear buds and listened to some music i like.

it was cathartic and i had a particular kind of realisation.

i had spent an entire alcohol getting fucked up to music i could only tolerate there and then, under bright lights and with accompanying alcohol. drinking the kind of alcohol i don't like drinking because it's what was available, hanging out mostly with people with whom i have very little in common. in general, kind of losing myself.

i knew what i needed to do, what i can do soon. all i need to do is get out of this house to a better place, get my painting station set up, keep being involved in the roller derby, and maybe somewhere along the lines i would figure stuff out for myself.

of course, there are certain social circumstances that need to happen to me too, but i certainly can't do that while inert.

i had skipped the derby's general member's meeting on friday. it was the only one of the year, and i really wanted to attend. they were discussing attendance policies, and i feel i could've really learned a lot about the members of the league from that. debates about derby as its own reward and assuming the inherent joy of cooperation versus a dedication to structured sustained development and competitivity, or any of the ways one could frame that.

i had missed a training, when i had immediate short-term goals that i could have fulfilled that training.

the other rookies like me, and so does the trainer. not because of my ability to chug alcohol really fast — although i intend to impress them at the party we apparently have soon — but because of my dedictation, fervor, and general attitude.

maybe there is a common source to the fact that i can dance better than i can talk and that i feel i'm more meaningfully together with people when i'm on wheels than when i'm not, generally speaking at least.

it feels like there's a rift between me and the rest of humanity, but a little less on the track than most other places.

but then speed also helps.

it helps everything. it makes me feel happy.

but i know i can't actually take this as often as i would need without fucking myself up. still, on our way back, alienated and exhausted, i was constantly craving it.

when we got out of the bus and a people hugged me goodbye, i did meditate for a bit on the fact that i did create many new bonds. maybe i'll get more out of them than i felt by the last day, but it's complicated.

and now i'm at friends who fed me and gave me weed to finally fucking calm down. it's all right.

i miss my friends in london who i feel separated from only by distance.

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avengeultrons · 6 years

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Title: Final Days of Summer (Reader x Peter Parker)

Summary: Summer is coming to the end but the reader and Peter are both determined to make the most of every last moment together.

Word Count: 1830

A/N: If you’re reading this on Friday, August 3, I’m a camp counselor until the fifth and hopefully I’m having fun. LOL! Hope you guys enjoy! :) --

Summer was winding down to just a few hot weeks in the blazing heat, the final days of lingering golden sunshine. You had two weeks until school started, two weeks of bike rides to the lake where sun bounced off the water and sparkled like sequins, two weeks of melting popsicles in the park with Peter and painting in front of the fountain. You had to make the most of it.

“What should we do today?” Peter arrived at your house bright and early, sitting on the step of your porch with his feet dangling over the dewy grass. It was early in the morning, the sun hiding behind the trees, the neighborhood quiet except for the birds singing their summertime songs.

You smiled over your coffee mug at him, grabbing the empty picnic basket from the chipping wicker table in front of you, “We can bike down to the water and have a picnic if you’re up for it. There’s a spot of rain on the radar but I think it’s moving south,” you said. You were hoping he was up for it because you already had your swimsuit on and were eager to get your toes into the cool lake.

“Sounds fun to me,” his bike was lying on its side in the grass, back wheel still spinning from when he was hollering at you to watch him dart full speed down the hill.

A wide, giddy grin lit up your face that made Peter’s face turn pink as he watched you jump up and dash inside to put together a picnic. He sat there on the creaky wooden step of your front porch, his stomach twisted into knots. His aunt had finally convinced him to say how he felt, but if you didn’t start on your trek soon he would surely lose all of his motivation to do so.

“Ya ready, Pete?” you jumped from the top step and onto the sidewalk below, hefty picnic basket in your arms. You set it in the basket of your bike and hopped on, dangling your feet as you waited for your best friend to join you.

He laughed as you flipped a pair of obnoxious daisy shades over your eyes, your heart skipping a beat as he did so, “I’ll race you!” he shouted, taking off up the hill to lead the way out of your neighborhood.

Though the sun was still out at your favorite lake spot, a blanket of dark clouds were rolling in slowly. They seemed to glare down at the two of you as you threw a large gingham picnic blanket onto the dock, placing your picnic basket on top. Peter ran up the hill to the large oak tree that suspended its branches over the water like dangling arms, a rope swing that your grandparents had tied long ago still swaying in the breeze.

You howled with laughter, Peter letting out a yelp as he ran full speed to the rope and swung over the water before dropping in, “God, it’s freezing!” he shouted as he came up for air. A small smile broke on your face as you set up your picnic.

You and Peter were best friends, always. The two of you did everything together, but today felt... different. Things between the two of you were starting to feel like more. You rolled your eyes, pulling your shirt off before diving off of the dock into the water below.

“It is,” you finally said in agreement, your teeth chattering as you waded in the deep, frigid water. Peter laughed at you, doggy paddling circles around you. You watched him carefully, as he kicked around. “Stop that, you’re making me nervous!” you teased.

The truth was that Peter was the one that was nervous, he had to find a way to expel his anxious energy. His pink face and shifty eyes were making your stomach fill with butterflies, so you decided to pull a prank on him to help him relax. “Help!” You squealed dramatically, holding your breath as you kicked and splashed, diving under the water.

“Y/N?” he watched for a moment, his heart beating loudly in his ears. Surely you were just pulling his leg, trying to joke around a little.

“It’s got me!” you yelled again, choking on your own laughter.You were under the water for a long while, and nothing but air bubbles were visible on the surface.

“What’s got you? Y/N!” Peter’s eyes widened to the size of golf balls. Maybe you were serious this time. “Holy shit,” he mumbled, taking a deep breath before he dove after you.

You had considered yourself a prankster for a while, a good actress, too. Your eyes were wide open as you watched Peter scramble after you, legs kicking with such force that you were almost surprised when he didn’t sprout fins and gills and swim away. You were trying your best to hide the grin as you shut your eyes when he got close enough, Peter grabbing you by your arms to pull you up to the surface.

Once you broke the surface of the water, you burst out laughing. You could see Peter put the pieces together in his mind until he gasped and followed you to the dock, splashing you hard as you climbed the slippery metal ladder up to the dock.“You’re such a loser! Was that supposed to be a joke?”

“It wasn’t supposed to be a joke, it was one! Why are you so anxious today?” you asked with a laugh, lending him a hand out of the water. He rolled his eyes at you and took your hand, his face turning red. Peter dropped your hand as soon as he saw the quizzical look on your face. “Up for lunch? I packed peanut butter sandwiches!”

You and Peter pulled your picnic blanket up to the edge of the dock to dangle your legs over the water as you ate sandwiches and drank fizzy sodas straight from their glass bottles. Peter was playing an upbeat pop playlist on his phone, singing along to the tunes. It was the epitome of summer to you. “I wish that this didn’t have to end,” he looked over at you with a bashful smile. Peter seemed to gaze up at you through his long eyelashes, making you practically woozy over the honey coloring in his dark eyes.

“I know,” you blinked out of your daze, popping a grape into your mouth. Peter sighed loudly next to you, staring out at the water.

You nudged him with your elbow and tossed another grape into the air, catching it smoothly in your mouth, “What’s going through your head? You’re acting kind of distant.” You looked up at the sky as a rumble of thunder echoed through the trees, each sound growing louder and louder. Maybe the rain would skip over you? Peter blinked, his face going scarlet as he messed with his hair which was now practically a wet, curly poodle atop his head. “I, nothing. Really, nothing,” he shrugged and managed a light laugh which you raised an eyebrow at. “Okay, fine. Y/N, I do really need to tell you something actually.”

As if the Gods above were playing some sick joke on the two of you- probably because of your mean prank on Peter- the heavens opened up with rain. Not just any rain, a torrential downpour of large, heavy drops of warm rainwater. The kind of summer rain that was harmless, but sent everyone indoors.

The two of you yelped and ran for cover under the oak tree, laughing as you dragged your soaking wet picnic blanket along with you. You were wiping water from your eyes, “Well, that’s ironic,” you said with a laugh. Rain was still managing to get the two of you wet despite the large tree’s covering. “Guess we’ll just wait for the rain to stop and head home?”

“Well, there’s no lightning, and we still have food to eat. We’re already in our suits,” Peter pressed play on his phone once more and placed it on the dry earth next to the tree’s roots. He stepped into the pouring rain and offered you a hand, “Let’s dance.”

“That’s so corny, Peter!” you rolled your eyes, taking his hand in yours as you bit back a smile. At first, Peter and you were jumping up and down dancing hecticly. Peter was doing some 70s disco move as you stepped and snapped to the beat.

Then, the next song played, slowing things down. The rain was suddenly not coming down in full force, not pounding the ground or the water as hard as it was before. You took Peter’s hands and laughed as he spun you. You lay your head on his shoulder as the two of you swayed together in the rain. “This was my dad’s favorite spot as a kid. My grandparents put that rope swing up,” you said quietly, leaning back to look up at him.

“That’s awesome. I like you,” Peter said it all so fast. So fast that it took a moment for his words to register in your head.

You smiled, cocking your head to the side, “I know, me too. Well, not that I like me too, but I like you, too. Not that I don’t like myself, but not like that. You do mean like that, don’t you?” he nodded, taking your hand as you spun out to stand in front of him.

You held both of his hands as the next song played, a poppier song with a dancing beat. The two of you danced like this, holding each other’s hands and waiting for someone to do something. Peter twirled you around and pulled you into him, dancing in a sort of fast waltz. You couldn’t stop laughing as the two of you danced in the rain, the most cliche thing that anyone could think up, “I’m gonna dip you!” Peter said.

Peter couldn’t stop laughing as threw your head back when he dipped you, your hair grazing the grass. Rain was pouring down from the sky even harder now, which you hoped was now a blessing from the Gods instead of a joke.

When he pulled you back up, his face was alight with glee. Curly hair was sticking to his forehead, dripping with rainwater. He pushed your own hair out of your face and did what you thought he would never do; Peter kissed you

Peter Parker, your best friend, had kissed you in the rain on a hot summer day at your favorite place in the world. He’d finally done it and it was electrifying and full of glee. The kiss was like every summer day you’d spent together; full of joy and warmth and love. The cage of butterflies in your stomach broke open, leaving them to flap around wildly.

Peter had taken a chance and it worked.

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realtalk-princeton · 5 years

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To Maybach -- Anon 2023 again. Honestly, my other major option is Brown (and Penn, but that's out by now) and I'm concerned that I'd be sacrificing happiness if I choose Pton. "Happy" is a part of the Brown brand, whereas "ahhhhh" seems to be a part of Pton's. I want the name and the opportunities Pton would afford me. I suppose that's not a question, but how would you respond? Do you understand what I mean? Is it so awful to pick Pton 4 name/opportunity (in addition to the other stuff)

Sorry for the delay everyone, I just got caught up in a lot of obligations. Due to multiple popular demands from both pre-frosh and current students, I decided to structure my Brown and Princeton story in the following manner. In the first section, I’ll give my background context prior to starting college and my feelings throughout the years on the subject. In the second section, I’ll specifically address the above question in more detail with my many thoughts on key distinctions between the two schools. I think the combination will serve the purposes of everyone quite nicely. Lastly, if any pre-frosh ever want to talk to me, feel free to reach out and ask for my contact information. Or even better yet lol, I just remembered that PREVIEW started, so I guess it might be easier to just talk in person to me. I actually don’t even have class tomorrow haha. I just think that talking is sometimes easier than writing and also in these responses sometimes I have to speculate. For example, I can pretty safely state that if a pre-frosh is almost certain of being a pre-med, Brown is probably going to be a much less stressful experience, but I have no idea if this applies to you beforehand.

So anyway, even though it was four years ago, I still remember it like it was yesterday. Boy time flies. I was not the most studios or stand-out HS student. I wasn’t the valedictorian or salutatorian of a rather small school far away from major cities. While some Princetonian HS students spent summer doing lab research at universities, I spent mine goofing off with friends and traveling. We used to actually have a bonfire at the end of the school year and burned stacks of our HW up to 4 feet high lol. When it came to applying to college, I did not actually even again acceptance to NYU or BC lol even though my stats were more than up to par. I guess maybe they were concerned that I wouldn’t be a very hard-working student. Luckily, I am very fortunate that despite coming from an extremely educated family (grandfather and mom went to Columbia, Dad went to Berkeley, etc.), my parents never put that much pressure on me. So as you can imagine, I was super excited when I heard that I got into Princeton, Brown, Cornell, and some other schools. For a period of time, I was actually getting ready to go to Brown. My SO at the time had committed to URI and I was psyched by the super expressive culture of Brown. Students prided themselves on being true to themselves and also took full advantage of freedom with responsibility. The location was close enough to NYC and some kids from my HS were already there. I always hated excessive structure and authority growing up and the prospect of 70%’s A’s granted, no +/I’s, and pass/failing anything was totally alluring! On a side note, I always laugh when they say that people don’t abuse pass/fail and use it only like 10-15% of the time. Well, maybe that’s because they’re already handing out A’s like it’s water and all A-’s become A’s haha. But anyway, I was psyched. Who wouldn’t want to live at camp Brown and take it easier than HS, but still be guaranteed a legit degree on your resume? However, after I visited Princeton, connected with a large number of alumni, and actually started putting real thought into my education, my perspectives slowly, but surely started to change. I think what I really underestimated was the power of the Princeton degree and how impressive our alumni network truly is. The people I met and still meet to this day are absolutely brilliant in several respects (e.g. they aren’t just nerds in one subject) and many are focused on maximizing their impact and allocation of influence in this world. The alumni donation rate is nothing short of incredible and the chance to be part of this network was alluring. I remember meeting a guy actually who got waitlisted and was already attending Duke when he got the chance to go to Princeton. He lived every moment to the fullest with his academic pursuits, the social network of brilliant, but diverse persons, and solid career plans. Anyway, it just became more clear to me over time that while Princeton was rigorous, it’s academic qualities could be much more intimate and engaged than Brown and the intellectual horsepower of its students (mostly) created truly incredible and impactful people. Jeez lol I forget sometimes how many alumni we have on the SC, in politics, business, arts, etc. At Brown, all they do is gush over Emma Watson in an almost cult-like way (sarcasm). But anyway, I was getting pushed as you can imagine, but I was still worried as I wasn’t the best HS student and grade deflation had literally only ended the year before. But eventually, the offer was just too good to pass up. Once you become a Princeton student, your life truly does change and people will treat you give you credit solely based on this fact (whether it’s right or wrong is another story). I remember before I even committed, I was hanging out at the Princeton Club in New York and a few days later some of the guys (who literally knew me for like a few days), invited me out and basically paid of lunch at Smith and Wollensky and lauded me on my “accomplishments” lol and how they could always be resources to bolster a Princetonian. Pretty soon after I committed.

As for answering your specific question, I’m already seeing red flags. Whenever you choose a school for the name, that’s setting yourself up for a bad time. Yes, our opportunities are better. Look at the difference in endowments lol. It’s like that for a reason even though they have way more students and more grad schools. It’s also reflected as well in our post-graduation salary averages. Brown is more creative with RISD and it’s curriculum, but that doesn’t always equal more opportunities. Princeton has the most power and resources of any university on a per-student basis and gives us an incredibly powerful brand and network. That said, you should probably explore why you want to go to Princeton other than the name and brand. One of the miserable people I know picked Princeton over another school because it was the “Best” school she got into and that’s just not fun when you didn’t research enough beforehand. By contrast, I know someone who turned down Harvard for a small liberal arts school in the middle of nowhere and she had an amazing time. If you feel like and click with Brown’s social scene, that’s another reason for not going to Princeton. Academically, Princeton is better for people who want rigor and want to truly maximize their learning in a short period of time and be around amazing minds. Our depth is much better than Brown’s and it shows with how strong our students are in critical thinking skills both inside and outside of their majors. However, there is a downside to this. For example, if you want to major in physics at Princeton, you better adapt fast or be damn good at it. You can’t just “love” physics and be relatively bad at it (compared to your peers) to succeed here because we teach you to be the best students possible from professors who literally wrote your book. At Brown, sure you don’t learn as much or go as deep, but you can major in almost anything because you just aren’t held to the same standards. So there’s a tradeoff. If I majored in Brown’s business program, let me just say that I would not NEARLY be perceived by others to be so intelligent (even though I’m not lol). I know the kids in the degree, it’s not like they are dumb, but jeez lol is it a joke a bunch of the time. Relating sociology to business for example on the surface can seem like a good idea that teaches people until you actually see what they’re writing and working on. I would probably have a 4.0 without working as hard too. And I don’t mean this to mean I’m like super smart or anything. It’s just not comparable to Princeton. However, I am super blessed and thankful that I did take Economics here seriously. The kinds of critical thinking skills and the ability to analytically dissect complex multi-faceted problems that I have developed serve me very well and I feel so rewarded. I literally got a position at a hedge fund with no experience at all because the interviewer liked how I wrote a research paper on guns an applied rigorous statistical analysis in many novel ways to answer new questions. This is no different in many ways than using public information using novel techniques to find value where nobody else sees it. But overall, I think that I’m feeling Brown for you unless you are willing to work harder here for greater depth of learning. I just want to say too though that despite me working hard, I still don’t pull-allnighters almost ever and I still have achieved very high grades. You don’t have to be a genius to do well here. Take it from me. I had piss-poor test scores (by Princeton standards) and was not a valedictorian, but if you are strategic and work reasonably hard and are disciplined, the work is more than doable. I don’t want to brag because I think it promotes bad culture, but you ought to know that a student like me can succeed academically and perform at the top of their class without working in the library all the time. So you should really evaluate what kind of learning experience you want and where you will be most likely to be happy and healthy. Some people just want a break after HS and don’t care about going super deep into their learning development. That’s totally fine, but then Brown is probably better (assuming you also like the culture). Some people would really abuse Brown’s system, not really learn, develop unhealthy and bad habits, and be kind of bored. In that case, Princeton is better. It really depends on you, but if all you see here for you is a name, you’re probably shooting yourself in the foot coming here.

Anyway hope that all helps. I can answer specifics if you have them too.

Edit. also I realized how long this all is and noticed that maybe some of you should just call me or I can connect you with people I know who love Brown lol. It’s sometimes harder to write these things and express everything properly compared to like a 30-minute dinner conservasation. Just putting it out there. I’m also exhausted lol from staying up until 4am the past few nights for this huge deal coming up. I did this tonight so that I wouldn’t mess up my sleep schedule any further and avoid taking a nap lol.

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coldphoenix · 6 years

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Skinny Dipping

Author’s Note:-

So I said I would do a request for my friend @littlepuku… she gave me a prompt list, and I picked one for Aspen and Nodin. But uh… I got a little carried away with the idea, so I included two followup sketches with Viola and Bassoon as well XD I hope that’s okay lol. Enjoy! Aspen, Nodin and Bassoon belong to @littlepuku.

xxxxx

Giggle. Squeal! “Ssh! You’ll wake the kids…” “Sorry…” Nodin but her lip, trying to contain her excitement as she followed her husband into the water. They were on a family camping trip. Everybody had gone to bed, Aspen and Nodin included. But Nodin couldn’t sleep, so she’d gone outside to look at the stars… and she must have woken Aspen, because not long after he joined her. Then Nodin had noticed how pretty the lake looked under the moonlight… and Aspen had suggested they go for a swim. So now, with a burning blush upon her cheeks, Nodin watched Aspen step into the water, using his tail as a guide. “Oh! It’s cold.” Aspen commented. He didn’t mind much, though. He liked this idea. He submerged himself in the water, and spiralled away from land, towards the centre of the moonlit lake. “Hey!” Nodin whispered harshly from the lakeside; he could just about hear her. “Wait for me!”

She didn’t want to yell too loud, in case she woke their children. But he was so far away! Couldn’t he sense it? It seemed like he didn’t care. Nodin dipped the tip of her tail into the water, and flinched at its coldness. It was a warm summer’s evening, but still the water wasn’t so warm… Nodin didn’t really like cold water. But… Aspen was waiting for her. That was more important! She bit her lip in excitement, and let out another small giggle. “I’m coming…” She squealed, and carefully lowered herself into the lake.

Aaaa… “Aspen…!” Nodin whispered, as loudly and as discreetly as she could. “It’s cold…” She made her way over to him; she could just about see his outline in the distance. He was floating on the water; he seemed so relaxed… it was nice. A small smile formed on Nodin’s face, and she felt a warmth in her heart. He seemed very peaceful…

She got closer to him; close enough to see his face. “Aspen…” Nodin’s smile brightened when he turned towards the sound of her voice, and offered a friendly grin. “It’s not too cold?” He questioned, moving into an upright position. “It’s okay…” Nodin swam closer to him, and caught his tail with her foot. She giggled as he wrapped his tail around her, and pulled her against him. “I can warm you up.” Aspen purred. “Giggle. Okay then!” Nodin felt her cheeks burning as he placed his arms around her, entangling his tail in hers. He planted a kiss on her cheek; he could feel her smile. It was… beautiful. “Nodin…” Aspen spoke softly against her, nuzzling his face against hers. He felt… so in love with her. It was so nice, being able to hold her… “I love you.” “I love you too…” Nodin whispered. She placed her lips on his, and they kissed for a long moment. She could feel his tail stroking hers, and his hands caressing her back… then they moved down. “Aspen!” Nodin broke away from the kiss, her cheeks turning bright purple. “Right here?” “Why not?” Aspen grinned. “Isn’t that why people do this sort of thing?” “I… I don’t know…” Nodin answered shyly. “Maybe…” “Well… so long as we’re quiet, and don’t wake the kids…” Aspen beamed. “What do you think?”

Nodin looked at him, and couldn’t help but giggle. The expression on his face… it was so bright and child-like; he looked so excited! It was cute. “Okay.” Nodin bit her lip, and nodded. “But… we have to be quiet.” “Mm.” Aspen moved his hand across his lips to zip them shut, causing Nodin to laugh.

xxxxx

“Viola…?” Bassoon whispered as loudly as he could, whilst trying to stay quiet. “Come on… stop messing around!” He looked around the lake. He was nervous, and terrified of getting caught. He and Viola had snuck out after everyone had gone to bed… Viola thought it would be fun to go for a swim. It had kind of seemed like a fun idea to Bassoon as well, so he’d agreed to go… but Viola always had to take things too far, and she’s gone underwater and gone off swimming on her own. Bassoon didn’t see where she went, and now he was stuck out on the lake. He didn’t want to go back to the tent, because he didn’t want to leave her on her own out here… but he couldn’t call out for her either, in case he woke his parents and siblings. This was so annoying! “Viola…!” Bassoon whispered harshly, becoming more frustrated by the second. This wasn’t funny! “Come on, stop – aaa!” He clasped his hands over his mouth, to silence his own scream before he could wake anyone. He felt something… he really hoped it was her. There was something… touching his privates. His exposed privates… he knew he should have worn his swim shorts! Viola had said it would be fun to go naked, but this wasn’t fun for him! This was creepy! Was it a fish…? Ewwwww, if it was a fish he would cry! “V…” Bassoon spoke through his hands, his body trembling. This was horrible… “Vi… aaa…” It felt warm, and tight… uhhhhh, this was her, right…? It wasn’t a fish, or a frog… or a crocodile? Oh, no! What if it was a crocodile? What if it bit his thing off? “Aaaa!” Bassoon cried out in fright, desperately splashing away from the creature. He flailed at it, and felt the harsh thud of his foot diving into its skull. Then sudden a jolt of panic shot through Bassoon’s heart. That hadn’t felt like a crocodile… it hadn’t feel like a fish either… oops…

Splash! Just as he’d feared, Viola’s head popped out from under the water, and she set her eyes upon him. She looked annoyed… Aww… he felt bad now… “Bassoon, what the hell!” She barked. “Sorry!” Bassoon whimpered. “I thought you were a crocodile!” “What kind of crocodile gives a blowjob?” Viola argued. “If I was a crocodile I would have just bitten it off!” “I thought maybe it was tasting it first…” Bassoon felt his cheeks burning, as an overwhelming sense of embarrassment and guilt overcame him. He didn’t mean to hurt her… He hadn’t been thinking – it was instinct! “Sorry… I’ve never done this before. And – you were the one that left me!” He pouted. “I didn’t know what you were doing!” “Hmm…” Viola sighed, calming down. She looked at him, studying the guilty, ashamed, defensive expression upon his face… He had all sorts of emotions going on, and they were all bad ones. He was obviously upset… … Poor thing. She smirked slightly. “I was just trying to have fun.” She grinned. “Don’t be so uptight. And don’t freak out. If you’re in the lake with your girlfriend and you feel something sucking your dick, it’s probably your girlfriend.” “Uh… okay…” Bassoon mumbled sheepishly. Well yeah… that made more sense… When he thought about it… What else would do that…? “Unless it’s a leach fish.” “A – a what?” Bassoon yelped, his eyes widening. What the heck was that? “Yeah. They crawl up inside your dick to suck the blood.” Viola said. “And they dig their teeth right in. It’s impossible to remove them without just cutting the dick off.” “What!” Bassoon shrieked, and immediately clasped his hand over his mouth when he realised how loud he was. Crap! Did anybody hear that? But – aaaaaaaaa, was she being serious? This was a joke, right? She was joking, right? “Ssh! You’ll get us caught.” Viola whispered. She smirked again, and giggled. “But it doesn’t matter, does it? If we have to cut it off, you can regenerate.” “I still don’t want to go through it!” Bassoon cried, from behind his hands. “I’m getting out!”

He turned to swim back to the tent, when he heard Viola giggling, and felt something soft against his back. It was probably her boobs… Bassoon would blush, if he wasn’t so terrified. He just wanted to get out of here! This lake was dangerous! “Settle down…” Viola whispered, her breath tickling his ear as she spoke. Bassoon’s cheeks darkened slightly… it felt nice. She knew his ears were his weak spot…

He felt her arms wrap around him, and her hands slide down his chest, over his belly, towards his lower region. “They can’t get you if I’m in the way, right…?” “Uh…” Bassoon’s blush deepened, as he became increasingly aware of her hands on him. She was stroking him… “V-Viola… you were kidding, right…?” He whimpered. “There aren’t really fish like that in here…?” “I dunno, maybe.” Viola shrugged. She’d thought nothing of answering honestly, until she felt his entire body tense. “Vi…” Bassoon sobbed. “Really…?” “Don’t worry.” Viola giggled. “I’m sure there aren’t.” she planted a kiss behind his ear, and smirked when he shivered in response. He was a little excited; she could feel it in her hand. “But… just to be sure, how about I hide it…?” “Uh…” Bassoon swallowed, his antennae twitching. He didn’t know how to answer, because he honestly felt so conflicted. There were pros, and cons… but she took his silence as a yes, and Bassoon felt the soft squishiness of her boobs leave his back, and he heard the sound of her lowering herself underwater… then he felt a tight, wet warmth around him, and he bit his lip. Well… so long as she made a good seal… maybe for a little while… “Ah…” He closed his eyes, and soon forgot about the scary fish.

xxxxx

Kiss. Giggle. Nodin tried to keep her squeals quiet as she and Aspen made their way back to the shore, hand in hand. They’d done it in the water… it was so naughty! She felt like a newly wed, or like she was meeting up with her secret boyfriend! It was so exciting! “We should do this again sometime…” Aspen whispered. “What do you think?” He tapped her butt with his tail, causing her to giggle again. “Okay!” She whispered back. “But be quiet, the kids might hear –”

Suddenly, Nodin stopped dead in her tracks. They… weren’t alone. There were… witnesses. In the water, by the shore, naked from the waist up at least… there were Viola and Bassoon. Bassoon looked… mortified. “U-Uh…” he choked, his cheeks darkening and his body shaking. Oh, no! They’d been caught! “H-Hi…” Quick! He had to think of an excuse! His mind was racing. Had Nodin seen Viola’s boobs yet? Had Viola put them away? Oh, he hoped Viola had put them away… please don’t let her be naked… Bassoon glanced at Viola, and noticed that she was still unclothed, and making no attempt to cover herself. Dammit! Why? What was wrong with her? He looked back at his mother, and desperately threw out the first thing he could think of. “I… I was too warm – we – we were too warm in the tent.” Bassoon stammered. “S-So we… we just decided to swim naked. To… to cool off.” “Mm?” Aspen hummed, turning his head towards the sound of Bassoon’s voice. “Is that Bassoon?” “Y-Yeah…” Nodin nodded, a deep blush forming on her face. “And Viola… um…” She let go of Aspen’s hand and looked at Bassoon sheepishly, not seeming to realise what they’d been up to. She was too concerned with hiding her own activities… “We – we wanted to cool off as well.” Nodin said. “And… I wanted to see if there were water lilies, and I wanted to view the forest from the lake…” She hurriedly thought up a couple of excuses, hoping at least one of them sounded plausible. This was so embarrassing… “Oh…” Bassoon nodded. “Y-Yeah. Us too. We – we didn’t find any lilies though…” “No, us neither.” Nodin replied. “It was disappointing.” Bassoon said. “Yes.” Nodin nodded in agreement. “It was the main reason we came out here.” “Yeah…”

The four of them remained silent for a moment, with Nodin and Bassoon struggling to make eye contact, each of them wondering if the other believed them… until Viola finally spoke up. “Were you two doing it?” She asked bluntly. “Because… we were. That was pretty much the only thing we came out to do. I wasn’t looking for water lilies.” “Wha!” Bassoon started to cry out, before his breath was stifled by his own shock. How… how could she say that? “Oh! Ho ho.” Aspen started chuckling, a wide grin forming on his face. “Yes! Actually, us too!” He put his arm around Nodin, and blushed slightly. “Well… when you become parents, you don’t often get the chance. You two don’t know how lucky you are.” “I think my parents have the same problem.” Viola grinned, and laughed along with Aspen, while Nodin and Bassoon looked absolutely mortified.

#aspen #nodin #icejin #oc #viola #bassoon #namekian #myfics #prompt #dragonball z

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twenty-nothing · 5 years

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EightyEight

Have you ever hit yourself in the head with a cabinet door? Yes! Are you currently talking to someone that you don’t like? No Your best friend gets arrested for shoplifting. Are you shocked? Yeah, I am. No one I know would shoplift, as far as I know? Last time you caught up with an old friend? Its been awhile Do you say things just to hear yourself talk? Not really

Have you ever said you were going to go to bed early but never did? Yeah all the time lol Have you ever seen an accident so horrific that it scarred you for life? Yes, I watch car crash compilations on YouTube all the time. That shit leaves scars Do you love to ‘rain on peoples parades’ (figuratively speaking)? Uh, no but I’m pretty blunt so it happens Does it annoy you when people don’t say ‘brb’? Yes, just fucking say be right back Does it annoy you when people don’t say bye before they leave? Yeah Ever worn a top that was so tight that you could barely even breathe? I feel like I have, at least for a moment while trying it on Would you wear uncomfortable clothes just because they were stylish? Why or why not? No because I’m fat so I look like a goddamn potato Have you ever made fun of someone’s name? Yeah, that poor kid Do you feel like watching a certain movie right now? If so, what movie would that be? Eh, not really Last time you found a writing utensil on the ground? Its been awhile How much money do you usually get from digging in the sofa cushions? Nothing? Have you said sorry and meant it, but denied that you apologized later on? No? What would the point of that be Are you the peace destroyer or the peacemaker? The peacemaker sometimes Do you truly believe that miracles exist? No, I’m very much a pessimist Is apologizing one of the hardest things for you to do? Yes, I’m stubborn Is revenge your specialty? Oh yes What do you think of good descriptive writing? Uh, it’s good? lmao Is there someone you are trying to be friends with all over again? No Do you often set yourself up for unintentional heartbreaks? I don’t think so

Is heartbroken as bad as it sounds or worse than it sounds? Worse Do you think it is sweet when an elderly woman kisses you on the cheek? Not really Are you kind of uneasy with letting people buy stuff for you? Yeah, I feel bad letting people do things for me You don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone. Do you agree? Very much Have you ever thought about how you were gonna kill someone? If so, why? What made you so angry? I’ve never thought about seriously killing someone Are you good at remaining neutral? Yeah for the most part Are you familiar with the ‘Emo Kid Song’? Nooo Does the inside of your ear ever itch? Yes, drives me crazy Do you respect other people’s opinions? Yes, everyone has a right to their own opinion, doesn’t mean it has to be the same as yours. As long as they aren’t being an asshole about it If you don’t like someone’s opinion do you make it known to them? Depends on the situation. Most of the time no because I hate confrontation If you had to treat everyone the same, would that be hard? Yesss Ever met a baseball player? If so, did you get his autograph? Nah Do you like to scare away the sales people? lol Sure? Have you joined a site just because your friend joined? Yup Would you find being a secretary boring? It does have it’s boring moments

Do you like to start conversations by saying something random? Not really. I’m usually not one to start a conversation anyways Have you ever had so much wax build up in your ear that you couldn’t hear? Not that I remember Is your computer mouse an optical one? I don't know? It's actually on my laptop Have you tried to stay in contact with someone, but they ignored you? Yup, it’s very annoying Do you remember saying ‘I hate you’ to someone when you were a kid? Oh hell yeah When was the last time you had a meaningful conversation with someone? It’s been a while Would you be afraid to sleep in your backyard? Not afraid but I wouldn’t wanna sleep with the buggies Does the idea of camping just scare you for some reason? It doesn’t scare me, but i’s extremely uncomfortable and it’s something I have no interest in Have you ever seen a coyote in real life? No Have you ever heard footsteps on your roof in the middle of the night? No Do you have anything locked up in a vault? Nope Do you have a hard time controlling your temper? Or do you just not have a bad temper? I have an awful temper, I can just blow up and then I feel awful after Would you rather die saving someone or fighting for your own life? Saving someone If you could stay one age forever, which age would you choose and why? Out of all my ages I would want to be 17 again. No bills but phone and car to pay. Half my year was in high school, then the best summer I’ve ever had, then went off to my amazing college experience. I would do anything to relive that age..... How many mosquito bites do you currently have? None it’s fucking winter Have you ever slapped someone across the face in public? No Have you ever been in a fight that security had to break up? I’ve never been in a fist fight Running from the police makes things worse. Do you agree with me? Oh fuck yeah, idiots Were you ever afraid your nose was going to grow from telling lies? Nah, I was never really told that as a kid. My parents weren't into the scare tactics Are you always there for your friends no matter what? Yes Have you ever made a promise that you couldn’t keep? I didn’t know I wouldn’t be able to keep it at the time of promising If you could sue for a broken heart, would you do it? YES, fucking Matt Can you and your friends joke around without taking things too personally? Yeah Would you rescue a child if it meant risking your own life? Very much so Have you ever gone skiing? Nope, no desire to either Do you think there are some people out to make you miserable? Not specifically, no, but I think there are some people who enjoy making others miserable, or who don’t care who they hurt if it benefits them Do you love animals, like a few, or hate them all? I like a few Do you know what it means to actually be in love? If so, how do you really know? I do not know what it is like to have a two-sided love, where each person truly loves the other one. So I don’t really know.

#random #courtneyhelene #survey

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comeallyelost · 5 years

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So I did a thing on Friday that simultaneously crushed me, but was also absolutely necessary for me to do.

Basically I finally made a move on my hot coach that I've been (more than) crushing on for like a year. I think I was going to explode if I didn't do something soon. And so, like my last confession of feelings for a guy, it did not go as I had hoped.

Here's some context and what went down:

So the gym I go to is pretty small, all class-based, and it's a pretty tight-knit little community. I've made like 4 really good friends here on top of like 6 or 7 other people that I interact with regularly and know me to an extent. The owner of the gym knows everyone by name, my boot camp coach (a girl) has practically become part of my extended family at this point, and my kickboxing/ Brazilian jiu-jitsu coach (the hot coach in question) has become my kind-of friend to the extent that one can within the confines of the gym. We talk before and after class, we have inside jokes, there's a banter and a flow that's been in place for quite a while now. And although I can never manage to get him to hangout outside of the gym (either with me or in a gym group hang with my little group) we have had "official" gym happy hours three times now in which we do eat and drink and just have a good time.

He became a coach at the gym like 3 months after I had joined and little by little just became the coach that teaches almost every class I take there. I joined the MMA/Jiu-jitsu program because of him and honestly owe a lot of my progress to his coaching.

He's funny and immature in that stupid boyish way that I adore. He makes me laugh and is just someone that I always have fun with whenever he's around. He is a quintessential Miami boy and for some reason, it makes me like him even more. I guess there's just something familiar about it even if it makes him a not-so-ideal person for me to date/ be interested in.

So anywho, I think the first few months last year when I started crushing on him, I was constantly beating myself down for having these feelings in the first place because he was...kind of not worthy of them? Like he's silly and immature and ridiculous but also kind of acts like he stopped all intellectual growth and development at age 16 when it comes to certain situations. But at some point last summer I think I just resigned myself to the fact that I liked him and took it for what it was. And then it just became this game of what can I get from him each time we interact. Going to the gym was also an act of like a fun courtship for me. And well, I guess the intensity of my feelings grew, but at the same time, I let myself dwell in them and not question them anymore and I probably fell in deeper than I should have.

And every now and then I would catch these little glimpses from him that made me certain he was at least a little bit interested in me. And look, I can concede that him and I operate on different wavelengths. Just in terms of life experience, education, and just overall way we carry on about life. But in the confines of the gym, he continued to surprise me. And so I figured, maybe this could be some sort of thing. And I got this vibe from him (which I had too) that he liked me, but was not really sure what to do about it because he's never liked someone like me before.

And the last couple weeks, for whatever reason, I had it in my head that things were getting more intense than before. But then again, I did that thing where I catalogued every interaction with him and probably assigned it a meaning or intention that wasn't really there.

Given all this, I've been on the verge of exploding for quite some time. And last Friday we had a gym happy hour planned and I decided I had to do something. I for real could not go on like this.

And so, at the happy hour all was fine and fun and whatever. And I was waiting for something to happen or waiting for the opportunity to make something happen, but he left before I could really work anything in. So, I texted him to let me know when he got home (because also he drives after drinking quite a bit and that's probably a huge red flag that I should not be ignoring) since he did not take me up on my offer to give him a ride after the bar. And a brief flirtation ensued in which he asked me if I was trying to take him home (lol of course) but it was still friendly territory and I made a jab at the fact that he never wants to hang out with me and he responded the next morning with just "Lol" which is not uncommon for him to do and I took it as a "haha that's funny we can end this conversation now" which I was kinda bummed about, but respected nonetheless because if he doesn't want to hang out with me/ is not interested then so be it, what am I gonna do about it?

But THEN an hour and a half later, I guess he caught on or was curious or whatever and messaged me again about what my intentions are if we do actually hang out and I was like fucking freaking the fuck out because I was so completely caught off guard and immediately thought to myself "I KNEW I wasn't crazy" and so we exchanged a few more messages (mind you we rarely text at all, and when we do it's usually like...a link to a joke or a meme or something and no follow up). I was straight up from the get go and literally wrote, "Dude, I am obviously into you" and he came back with "I'm not looking to be in a relationship" and I didn't really know how to take that comment because it could have been a rejection? Or it could have been that he only wants to hook up? Which then he asked me if that's what I was looking for and well...no not really, but I guess I could? So I wrote back "Idk" and asked if he was looking to hook up because why else would he continue on this thread? Like why couldn't he have left it alone? And he was like "don't know" and basically I took the plunge and just said if he was down, he could come over and we could essentially netflix and chill lol and he Never. Wrote. Back.

Mind you, I see him at least 4 times a week at the gym. Sometimes twice a day. And like...he thought this was okay to do? I saw him Monday morning and asked if we were cool when he had a sec and he was all nonchalant and barely looked me in the eye and was like "yeah we're cool **insert immature joke here**" and that was basically it.

And I essentially spent the whole weekend in this limbo state because I didn't know where this was going to go. But I had given the fucker the benefit of the doubt and thought maybe he'd want to say something in person but it looks like he just pulled the fuckboy move of "let me see how much I can get out of this chick with no intention of actually following through". And that fuckin hurt. I was pretty devastated after that brief noncommittal acknowledgement of what *didn't* happen and I surprised myself by bursting into tears the moment I got in my car after my morning workout.

And I've just been sad all week, because I hate that I fell for this stupid trap, I hate that he treated me that way--I feel super disrespected and taken advantage of--because we WERE friends, and ultimately I really did like him and for a second there I was so so excited that I thought he liked me back and it was AGAIN just all. In. My. Head.

So now I'm back in this spiral of "what is wrong with me/why does no one like me/why can't I get this right" and I honestly thought I had grown past that. Like, objectively I can understand that not everyone is going to be into me. But at this point, no one really ever has been. And I like people really intensely, it's never small for me. I put it all in, that's just how I'm built, I guess. So his rejection really fucking stings.

And now the gym is not awkward per say- this fucker is carrying on as if nothing. But it's lost one of its compelling components for me and I hate him for that. I'm probably being passive aggressively petty in that I'm not interacting with him like I normally would. But does he even care? Did he ever?

I'm just sad and hurt 🙁 and I wish he'd own up to something, but I can't keep hoping on something that will probably never happen.

But on the plus side, I made the move, I voiced it out loud. Because these feelings were going to fester and inhibit me even more than they already were.

But ugh. Fuck boys.

#personal #michelle and boys

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actualltr4sh · 4 years

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its been a while since i did oneuhdeez

basics what’s your name ➔ zarina do you have a nickname ➔ ‘z’ usually do you have a middle name ➔ i dew do you like your name ➔ luv do people often mispronounce your name ➔ yeah, i get “serena” a lot but i cut that shit out do you like the meaning of your name ➔ luv. it means golden so that’s fire when is your birthday ➔ 01/15 how old are you ➔ 5′4 do you like your age ➔ it’s okay. i’m old lmao what’s your zodiac sign ➔ good cap!

appearance what’s your hair colour ➔ blackityblackblackblack is your current hair colour your natural hair colour ➔ yeth do you dye your hair ➔ i have before, i don’t make a habit of it though do you have natural highlights ➔ nerp when was the last time you had a haircut ➔ recently! like a month ago lol what length is your hair right now ➔ um the back of it is like at the base of my neck but the front is short lol do you have straight, wavy or curly hair ➔ nigger curls boo do you have frizzy hair ➔ not usually do you use a curling iron ➔ not usually do you use a hair straightener ➔ not usually do you braid your hair ➔ almost always lmao what’s your eye colour ➔ brown do your eyes change colour ➔ this is not a john green novel lol do you wear contacts ➔ never!! if so, do you use colour contacts or regular contacts ➔ NEVER!! do you wear glasses ➔ yes i can not fucking see bro lmao do you have naturally long eyelashes ➔ not really ;/ they look so bare lol do you wear braces ➔ no do you have dimples ➔ no do you have moles ➔ a few, none on my face tho do you have outstanding cheekbones ➔ kinda? not really. i got a good jaw tho do you have freckles ➔ nerp. love em though do you have piercings ➔ i lost some :( i have 8 now do you have tattoos ➔ 6?? do you wear make up ➔ just my eyebrows cus i dont have any lol do you paint your nails ➔ sometimes. whenever im feeling edgy do you wear jewelry ➔ bracelets normally but my wrist just broke out so not now are you happy with your height ➔ it’s fine. im not like short but im not tall either

personality would you consider yourself outgoing or shy ➔ super shy and anxious baybee are you sarcastic ➔ i used to be a lot worse but its toned down a lot. too anxious LMAO what’s your biggest fear ➔ being in a car accident.. didn’t used to be number 1 but now? yep what’s your guilty pleasure ➔ coke. not like cocaine but coca cola LMAO are you religious ➔ meh do you get easily along with people ➔ typically! do you cry easily ➔ if i cry a lot is that the same thing as crying easily? idk. i be stressed though lmao

school do you go to middle school ➔ like now??? do you go to high school ➔ ?????? do you go to a private school ➔ no lol are you home schooled ➔ nope have you gratuated from school ➔ ya ya ya ya yaaaa what grade are you in ➔ done done done done doneeeee have you skipped a grade ➔ nope have you been held back a grade ➔ almost! freshman year of high school was whooping my ASS okay have you ever failed a class ➔ bitch several have you been sent to the principals office ➔ not to my knowledge have you skipped school ➔ yeah i used to be tripping have you cheated on a test ➔ how else would i have gotten my degree lol

family do you live with your biological parents ➔ hell nope do you get along with your parents ➔ mehhhhh my dad yeah my mom not really do you tell your parents everything ➔ man hell no lol do you have strict parents ➔ growing up my mom was v strict do you have siblings ➔ 5! are you the oldest ➔ nerp are you in the middle ➔ almost are you the youngest ➔ pretty much?? but not really are all of your grandparents still alive ➔ um... on my dads side maybe?? i think so

friendships do you have a best friend ➔ yeth do you have more than 10 friends ➔ yall funny as fuck do you have at least 2 friends you can trust with your life ➔ i guess. i dont even trust myself with my life if we being real lmao do you have a lot of guy friends, a lot of girl friends or equal girl and guy friends ➔ i dont have a lot of friends period its probs equal or more girls do you text with your friends a lot ➔ two of them i talk to almost every day!

relationships what’s your relationship status ➔ dolla dolla bill yall! have you ever been in love ➔ i have and bitch oowee do you believe in love at first sight ➔ idk lmao have you ever been in a relationship ➔ one serious one and like some other shit have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ idk issa secret boo have you ever been asked out on a date ➔ yesss have you ever been kissed ➔ yeah the hoes love it have you ever made out with someone ➔ i haveeee have you ever been cheated on ➔ kinda. he got me on a technicality and that shit fucked me UP have you ever been proposed to ➔ no i hope so one day!! do you want to get married ➔ WIFE ME do you want kids ➔ one seems like enough but what if they get only child syndrome? you have to have 2 for their sanity lmao

country where were you born ➔ ugh where do you live right now ➔ UGH have you ever been out of the country ➔ canada lmao do you prefer country or city ➔ city me please do you like sightseeing ➔ sure! is one or more of your parents from another country ➔ yeth what places would you like to visit ➔ antiguaaaaa are you fluent in more than one language ➔ black what languages can you speak ➔ colored and white if we being real LMFAOOO i be code switching like a mf

health do you have any allergies ➔ naw cuh are you lactose intolerant ➔ man hell yeah that shit is a serious barrier have you had surgery ➔ noooo hopefully never have you had stitches ➔ no & never have you broken a bone ➔ no & never! bitch i be chilling has someone close to you died of a disease ➔ not to my knowledge.. wait yes im an asshole for forgetting do you exercise a lot ➔ this is a joke

experiences have you ever had a near death experiene ➔ a few :/ have you ever been on a plane ➔ a couple times! have you ever had an allnighter ➔ freshman year lmao have you ever been to school/work after a sleepless night ➔ FRESHMAN YEAR have you ever been in a physical fight ➔ kinda lmao have you ever been to a wedding ➔ yesss i wanna go to one again so bad I LOVE LOVE have you ever been to a funeral ➔ :( have you ever lived in a different country ➔ no have you ever been drunk ➔ i be fucked up have you ever been trick or treating ➔ yes free candy is weird but its cool lmao have you ever been in a school play ➔ i was in crew in HS lol have you ever been to a camp ➔ no actually why didnt i have that summer camp lifestyle in middle school have you ever driven a car ➔ barely bitch

skills how many languages are you fluent in ➔ i told you have you ever read a book in another language ➔ no can you roll your tongue ➔ not really? can you braid hair ➔ nope lmao can you do a handstand ➔ eye can

habits do you crack your knuckles ➔ not as much as i used to? if i do i really dont even notice it lmao do you bite your nails ➔ noooo do you bite your lips ➔ noooo

favourites what’s your favourite movie ➔ it’s different all the time today we’ll say bring it on lmao what’s your favourite tv show ➔ greys anatomy s1-8.. gotta clarify this new shit wack what’s your favourite book ➔ the mothers x britt bennett what’s your favourite song ➔ idk... lets say my boy builds coffins Florence & the machine what’s your favourite colour ➔ blk what’s your favourite animal ➔ zebra. owl. what’s your favourite season ➔ fall or spring!!

this or that summer or winter ➔ ugh honestly neither day or night ➔ night me pls cats or dogs ➔ dog rain or shine ➔ rainnnn if im inside watching tv, sun if i have shit to do lol coffee or tea ➔ coffeeeee i don’t like tea that much tbh lol reading or writing ➔ writing probs humorous or serious ➔ humor me brown or blue eyes ➔ brwn single or group dates ➔ single i have too much anxiety for that lol texts or calls ➔ i think i like talking otp more but i genuinely hate both unless i love you driving or walking ➔ i walk everywhere if i can but cars are more efficient lol

last last phone call ➔ an apartment complex lol last text ➔ “her family pimpin her out smh” somebody said this about an old lady!! last song you listened to ➔ savage x meg last thing you ate ➔ some wack ass chips lmao last thing you drank ➔ raspberry lemonade last purchase ➔ the wack ass chips and the lemonade lol last time you cleaned your room ➔ technically a few weeks ago when i moved out lol last time you’ve been on a date ➔ january? yeah january

#about me #doing these used to be soo fun lmao #my answers are almost always the same but who cares

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sphiggo · 7 years

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Physical appearance:

I have blond hair.(not really but it passes as blonde in here) My current hair color is not my natural hair color. I have curly hair. I have green eyes. I have red hair. I have natural highlights. I am black. I have lots of freckles. My nails are usually painted. I wear a lot of eye make-up. I have bangs. I have short hair. I wear a lot of pink.

Belongings:

I own a hair straightener. I have my own car. I have posters on my walls. I have a pet. I own a pair of roller skates or blades. I have lots of bobby pins. I own at least four bottles of perfume. I have a lot of jewelry I never wear. I own at least 5 pairs of jeans. I own Converse. I own a pair of high heels. I own a leather jacket.

Family:

I have a step-relative. I am adopted. My biological parents are married to each other. I am an only child. At least one of my great-grandparents is still alive. All of my grandparents are still alive. I am related to someone famous. I have a sibling who is in college I am a twin or a triplet. I have a sibling who is married. I have a sibling who is less than five years old. I have more than one sibling. I see my cousins often.

Relationship:

I am married. I am engaged. I have been proposed to. I have never been in a serious relationship. I have been asked out on a date. I have been cheated on. I am asexual. I want to get married someday. I want to have kids someday. I have children. I have made out with someone against a wall.

Health:

I am lactose intolerant. I have a food allergy. Someone in my family has died of cancer. I have had surgery. I have scoliosis. I take/took anti-depressants. I have attempted suicide. I have been in the hospital in the past year. I have broken a bone. I’ve had strep throat. I don’t drink enough water. I exercise for more than 10 hours a week. I wear glasses and/or contacts.

Friendship:

I have a best friend. I am used to be friends with a pair of twins. I am close friends with at least one of my neighbors. I have at least one friend who lives in a different country.

Experiences:

I have had a near-death experience. The police have been summoned to my house. I have been nearly run over by some sort of large vehicle. I have been snorkeling. I have been to at least 2 weddings. I have been to at least 2 funerals. I have been to an overnight summer camp. I have been on a train. I have lived in a different country. I have spent the night in a motel. I have written a novel. I have been zip-lining. I have been to a wedding or funeral outside of my home country. I have failed a class. I have cut class. I have gotten a speeding ticket. I have gotten a parking ticket. I have been in a car crash. I have been sent to the principal’s office. I have been arrested. I have been drunk. I have taken a ballet class. I have driven a car. I have been on an upside-down roller coaster. I have gone to school or work after a sleepless night. I have flown in a hot-air balloon. I have spent more than 48 hours without sleep. I have been in a talent show. I have read Sherlock Holmes. I have read all of the Harry Potter books. I have seen all of the Harry Potter movies. I saw the last Harry Potter movie in theaters. I have thrown up on a plane. I have worn my pajamas out in public. I have worn my hair in a fishtail braid. I have never been trick-or-treating. I have posted a video on YouTube. I have seen an episode of Supernatural. I have worn colored contacts before. I have tried out for a sports team. I have auditioned for a play. I have been in a school play. I have had a main role in a school play.

Personal:

I have a job. I am afraid of heights. I am not religious. I live in an apartment. I am extremely familiar with jet lag. I want to change my name. My first name ends with the letter “I.” I don’t get nervous before making a presentation. I have more than one citizenship. I was born in a city. I run a video blog. I know what I want to do with my life. I am insecure about my voice. I worry a lot about my future.

Education:

I am a student. I go to a private school. I have my Master’s degree. I have taken a college-level class while in high school. I have graduated from high school.

Travel:

I have been to a third-world country. I have been to the Carribean. I have been to Boston. I have visited a college. I have been to Florida. I have been to New York City. I have visited another country. I have been to Egypt.

Skills:

I am fluent in more than one language.(lies...) I have read a book in another language. I can braid hair. I can do a cartwheel. I can do a handstand underwater.

Interests:

I play Skyrim. I play Minecraft. I like country music. I like to read fanfiction. I watch Doctor Who. I enjoy hiking. I run track. I like cooking shows. I like chick flicks. I love poetry. I have written a song. I am interested in cinematography.

Likes and Dislikes:

I like lobster. I like strawberries. I hate making my bed. I enjoy science fiction. I like roller coasters. I like watermelon. I like going back-to-school shopping.

Habits:

I go to the movies at least once a month. I continuously bite my nails. I have a habit of biting my lip. I tap my foot when I’m nervous. I have a paper calendar on my wall. I often have to replace my earbuds.

lol another one

Basics

I am male I am female I am neither male or female (i am uhhhhHHHHH) I am a under the age of 18 I am 18 or older I am straight I am gay or lesbian I am bisexual or pansexual I am trans

Friendship

I have two or more friends I have one friend I have no friends I have a best friend I am close with my friend(s) I spend a lot of time with friends I have a crush on a friend I hate a friend I wish I had fewer friends I wish I had more friends

Relationships

I am single I am in a relationship I am married I am a virgin (virginity is a social construct biiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitch) I often date I prefer to date extroverted people I prefer to date people who are like me I prefer to date people who are unlike me I take relationships very seriously I have high standards (id like to date myself lol bye)

Negativity

I have/had depression I have cried myself to sleep I have/had anxiety I am often lonely I keep a lot of emotions inside I am scared of talking to people I want to talk more to I have/had an eating disorder(i binge eat like an animal bro does it count) I have low self-esteem I often feel I embarrass myself I feel people don’t take me seriously I am quickly jealous I feel people want me to be someone/something I’m not I have experienced discrimination

Positivity

I have become a better person I have gotten out of a bad period of time I am confident I am looking forward to something I have enjoyed myself over the past week I have met a famous person I consider myself a kindhearted person I am currently feeling relaxed and comfortable I appreciate the little things in life I have nobody in my life whom I hate I have achieved something large this year I am part of a religion that brings me peace I have a movie/game/song which cheers me up

I…

…get scared from watching horror movies …play a sport …read a lot of books …have allergies …am a feminist (well technically) …believe in love at first sight …own an instrument …can draw …am listening to music right now …value romance and friendship equally …have sneaked out of the house …am outgoing …respect people’s comfort zones and personal space …am deaf …spend money on a daily basis …want to write a book …can ride a horse …am asexual …put my hands over my face when I’m flattered …like the colors pink and yellow …own an xbox …shop at least once a week …have a drivers license …drink alcoholic beverages …get scared by unsettling imagery and screamers …eat fast food at least twice a week (im recovering from my trashy eating habits :’))))

Likes and Dislikes

I like parties I dislike parties I like perfume I dislike perfume I like “so bad it’s good” movies I dislike “so bad it’s good movies” I like playing video games I dislike playing video games I like chocolate I dislike chocolate I like having a busy schedule I dislike having a busy schedule I like laughing at my own jokes I dislike laughing at my own jokes I like compliments I dislike compliments I like heavy metal music I dislike heavy metal music I like snow I dislike snow I like taking walks with someone I dislike taking walks with someone I like people who aren’t very talkative I dislike people who aren’t very talkative

AND YET ANOTHER ONE :):):):):

1. State your name: Sare 2. State the name that your parents almost named you: Rana, my sister wanted to name me Minnoş which is a fucking pet cat name 3. Which of your relatives do you get along with the most? Uhhhhhhhhhhh 4. What was your first job? ive never had a job 5. Did anything embarrassing happen this week? i dont really remember 6.Do you miss your ex? i dont have an ex to start with alksdfj 7. White chocolate or dark chocolate? barf 8. Do people praise you for your looks? Family&friends doesnt count, they are delusional 9. What is your favorite color of clothing to wear? Blue, Green, Orange, Yellow??? Black, Gray, White??? as long as its not a disgusting warm color i would wear it 10. How do you wear your makeup? i dont wear make up i only wear face paints time to time (to humiliate myself bc why not) 11. What are some of your nicknames? Sarişa, Saroo, Saruhan 12. How many bedrooms are in your house? 2 13. How many bathrooms? 3 14. Do you have a job? no 15. Do you have a car? nay 16. Do you work out every week? yes kinda 17. Did you brush your teeth this morning? Yeah im not an animal thanks 18. Have you ever kissed someone you never saw again? Probably their hand bc kissing the hands of elderly is a strict custom here but otherwise ew no 19. Have you ever sung in front of a crowd? hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh kinda 20. What kind of bathing suit do you wear? one piece 21. Do you like your eyes? kind of 22. Do you think you are pretty? nah 23. Who was the last person you talked to in person? my sister probably 24. How much money is in your checking account? i say im poor but actually being asocial comes with its perks, i have money but i dont have anything to spend it on 25. Are you single? yes 26. Do you want kids? Ew no 27. Tell me what your back pack looks like: like a backpack, navy background has white&orange&another color i cant remember monkey silhouettes on it 29. Last movie you saw in theaters: it

#about me #i just love talking about myself lol #im pretty bland though

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