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anachronistic-falsehood · 1 year

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Vash and Femininity: Trigun Stampede and its Themes of Bodily Autonomy, Exploitation, and Vague Gender Fuckery

alright sit the fuck down. we're gonna talk about THEMES

I was on Twitter- terrible idea usually, but a couple people I follow made some tweets that got me thinking about Trigun's overall themes, and here we are. So let's talk about some themes in Tristamp! And I'll take a couple looks at Trimax as well, just for fun :3

Let's look at how the showrunners utilize gender roles and exploitation of feminine characters to show how unhealthy Knives' obsession with his ideal of Vash is, and how horrific his exploitation of Vash and the Plants is.

Vash, from the beginning of Tristamp, is someone who cares about people's choices. When people kill others in front of him, he reiterates that whether someone lives or dies is not another person's choice to make. This is something he learned from Rem (a prominent female figure in his life). He refuses to kill people because that is not his choice to make. To kill someone is the ultimate removal of their bodily autonomy. They can no longer make any choices at all; they're dead.

Vash is also someone who has almost no choice in what path his life takes. He's constantly dragged around by outside forces, namely situations that are caused by Knives (which we'll get into later). Vash doesn't make things happen, things happen to Vash. The majority of events that occur are not his fault. He's pushed and pulled in a thousand different directions. His entire life is completely out of his control.

This can be seen as early on in his life as the Fall, something he had no control over and had no idea he even had a part in. Even later, in the ship with Luida and Brad, after he's been rescued from the desert, he's kept in handcuffs right up until he's shown to be of use to them and the Plant on their ship. After that, he could theoretically say "no, I don't want to go to other ships and heal their plants," but he doesn't. He's Vash. He's helpful and nurturing at his core, and these people have done so much for him just by letting him stay, so he'll do whatever they ask, no question.

This carries over into his adulthood. At Jeneora Rock, he goes to look at their Plant at one simple request, doesn't protest when he's dragged into a duel-- he doesn't take initiative unless someone's life is immediately at stake. He lets people tell him what to do and lets himself get dragged around by the wrist. He doesn't even pretend to have control over his life like Trimax Vash does, which I mean. Fair. Why pretend to have a grip on your existence when it's impossible to do anything without a gun pointed at your head?

Vash is a very passive character. He's nurturing, kind, gentle- he's a guy that fits a lot of very typical feminine character stereotypes. If you wrote this same story but made him a woman, I wouldn't bat an eye (but I would definitely be looking at it a lot more critically, what with the amount of stereotypically nurturing/motherly female characters in media already.)

This contrasts directly with Knives. He makes a decision and carries through no matter what stands in his way. He takes initiative. If Vash is a passive character, Knives is an active character. Wherever he goes, he leaves a lasting imprint. He makes shit happen! If outside forces make things happen to him, he'll go out of his way to make sure that particular force doesn't affect him again.

These two tweets I saw are what got me thinking about this originally. I just feel like here's a good place to put them as a segue into talking about episode 11.

Episode 11 is where a lot of this feminine imagery really just. Explodes in your face. IT'S RIGHT THERE. You can't dance around it if you try. And it kind of reaches a peak when the connection reaches 100%, the gate opens, and. well. THIS happens to the Plants.

Plants, in both Trimax and Tristamp, are almost always typically feminine-looking. Knives and Vash are the only two who are male or even masculine at all. Knives, as the most masculine out of all of them, is the one trying to take charge, and mould the world as he sees fit, to a degree that is detrimental to both him and everyone else. And Vash-- passive, feminine, kind and nurturing, whose Angel Arm in the manga always sprouts decidedly feminine-looking Plant parts-- is the one being exploited for Knives' plans. It's no mistake that they made the giant plant formation at the end of ep 11 look like a giant woman that almost resembles Rem.

Vash wants people to make their own choices and keep their autonomy when it comes to their bodies and lives. Knives is the exact opposite. He wants all Plants to become independent and he uses Vash to achieve that goal, without asking what Vash wants or even knowing what the Plants themselves would prefer. He exploits Vash for the soul purpose of trying to make these Plants have Independent Plant babies. He's completely incapable of seeing that his choices are not for the greater good! He thinks he's saving them, but none of his actions are for the good of anyone but himself. He’s just violating them for his own gain.

They're really leaning into gender roles for these guys, but in a way that screams "HEY, LOOK AT THIS! ISN'T IT FUCKED UP? LOOK AT HOW FUCKED UP THAT IS. LOOK AT THIS, AND BE UNCOMFORTABLE, AND KNOW THAT IT IS FUCKED UP."

Because it is! It's so extremely fucked up. They're using this imagery and these roles, something that makes most of us intrinsically uncomfortable, to drive home how unhealthy Knives relationship with his ideal of Vash is. That's the point. We're supposed to be uncomfortable with this.

Now of course there's some nuance to it. Like, you could see Knives as somewhat of a feminine and/or queer-coded figure as well, ESPECIALLY if you look at some of his panels in the manga, which could in turn lead to themes about infighting and control within marginalized communities, but that might be something for another post. :3

And there's definitely different ways you could take this! Vash, with all this feminine imagery, could be either transfem or transmasc coded, depending on what way you'd rather see it, which could lead into themes of how people outside the norm constantly face a lack of bodily autonomy and are exploited for purposes outside their boundaries. We could also look at Wolfwood and his lack of choice over joining the Eye of Michael and becoming the Punisher, and how masculine men (particularly men of colour) are often forced into violent roles against their will. If we look at Trimax, the exact same could be said for Livio/Razlo and people with disorders such as DID/OSDD.

There are many different ways you could spin these themes, some of which I don't feel personally qualified to discuss. If anyone who is qualified to talk about Wolfwood or Livio/Razlo or even other characters related to these themes, then god PLEASE add onto this post or make a post and tag me or something. I would love to read it!

Anyway, in conclusion: Vash is a feminine figure constantly taken advantage of and exploited and and he's so incredibly trans/nonbinary-coded that it drives me insane. Thank you

#whiskeys word soup #trigun #trigun stampede #HI. HELLO. THIS DRIVES ME INSANE PLEASE READ THIS #and seriously if anyone wants to make a post about wolfwood or livio/razlo or any other character exploring these themes of bodily autonomy #on GOD. lemme know i wanna read it #well aware that some of this is probably me digging too deep for things that aren’t there but still!!! fun to look at #what is media analysis other than putting on ur queer glasses and picking out trans allegories within stories #it’s been a while since I’ve made a full analysis essay kinda post!! this is how i normally format them bc it’s easier for me to read

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magmythedevil · 7 months

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Envy shippers are forgetting something, and thats kinda of connected to misogyny.

..........

Just warning before i start that i will be talking negativily about N a litte bit in this post, even If a love him very much, Its necessary lollll.

Also Please dont think this post is some form of hate against V or envy. Its a post about the way >some< NxV shippers treat Uzi and their double standards.

........

So, i saw that *one* group of people making jokes about Uzi dying/N killing Uzi so N can be with V again and after some time thinking i realized that those jokes are kinda of connected to how they think that "Uzi stole N from V" or "V deserves N more than Uzi does"

And thats make me think: why, them, as an envy shippers, chooses to throw their hatred at Uzi especifically? Why is the Idea of Uzi, the young girl who did >>nothing<<< to deserve what shes going through, dying so satisfing to them? Even If Its a "joke"?

And i guess i know the answer, they think V deserves N more, they are the one that deserve to be end-game, because they have a tragic love story, they had a spark and becuse they have known each other for way longer and all that stuff, right?

But I guess, them, yes, the one who love V and N as a duo and as a couple, are forgeting something important in this equation: N himself

If they want to blame someone for envy not working in the present time that much, N is the one they should be hating on (and V too tbh) not Uzi, Uzi is just having feelings.

N is the one that choosed to prioritize and protect a random purple worker girl he just met.

N is the one that choosed to change sides and fight against his own damn crush to protect the people of a random worker girl he just met.

he is the one that choosed to stop to act on his crush on V once he met Uzi, the random worker girl. (Srs, not even a single sigh of it since episode 2)

He is the one that choosed to keep holding Uzi's hand (and embrance It harder, when she was the one to ask him to let It go) while blushing at her on that hallway in front of everyone.

He is the one that randomly got her to have a dance with him in that prom fight.

He is the one that felt extremely bad of the Idea of Uzi being scared of him, yes, the random worker he just met.

He was the one to get angry at V for not respecting Uzi and say to her face "what is wrong with you?"

He is the one that ins't afraid to be all cozy with her in public (cabin fever is here as proof)

He was the one that, even after reexperiencing the thing he had with V in the past again, was happy to see Uzi instead of being nervous about it, when even V was embarassed.

Uzi never did anything, thats just a Uzi they created in their minds. wich ins't that surprising since they all dont even like to rewatch most of the show anyways (N and Uzi's interactions are too much for them to handle)

The worst thing she has done was being agressive to V, but mind you, thats bc V was treating her way worse when Uzi even considered her a friend.

>>N<< was the one that, accidently or not, made most of (If not all) his romantic moments with Uzi real.

But they wont talk about his position in this triangle right? Its just Uzi, Uzi this, Uzi that, Uzi is always the villian here.

Because N is the perfect boy who ins't capable of understanding love outside of his thing with V, right?

""N would never feel something like that for Uzi!!! Hes clearly being peer pressured by her!!""

"""the writing is sooo badddd!!! N would never do this ugggfhh""

""weirdo vickers, fix you damn show""

And..... you know what that sorta looks like...right? Yes, misogyny . Because they choose to hate on and make weird jokes about Uzi, the woman, when N, the man, had a bigger role with his romantic thing with Uzi than she did. And If they hate nxuzi so much, they should be hating on N too, but i know they wont.

For the people who hate to see N "being babied" they sure dont like to talk much about him in these things

#murder drones #murder drones n #murder drones uzi #murder drones v

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breathing-the-same-air · 2 months

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Hey, lovely souls. Just here to spread a kind word for anyone who's feeling (understandably) down today🩷

So OFMD has been officially cancelled. Is this the end? Of course not. It will never be.

I mean, even if we'd got S3 there would have been an end to it too. Is it unfair that our awesome cast & producers didn't get to finish what they started in the way they envisioned it? Of course. Is the tv industry absolute shit? Hell yes! So many good shows are cancelled every day, and so many more never even get to exist. We got OFMD for two seasons, a blessing none of us ever expected, that changed our lives in so many ways, that saved so many lives. And if you think about the ending, even though the last episode was rushed and budget was cut and all, we still got such a wonderful, poetic ending, Ed and Stede are together in their inn, love in their eyes, they're safe, they're happy, honestly I couldn't have asked for anything better.

The thing is, things in life are limited (apparently), but the underlying truth to that is that things that truly matter are infinite.

How so? I'll tell you a scientific truth: time does not exist, at least not as we understand it. Because time is just like space, ever-present, every moment in time is actually forever alive. Nothing can ever truly die.

Which leads to another truth: we are infinite, just like the Universe, for we are Universe too. We are stardust and love, and Love is infinite.

We are all one, you and I and everyone out there, we're one same thing. There is no end to something that was created with love. And damn, I've never seen such an outrageous, wonderful outburst of love in my whole life! There is true magic in what we created together, fans, cast, crew, producers... we healed one another, we came together because one day someone just as crazy as us envisioned this absolutely mad world of kindness and inclusion and diversity and sheer joy and against all odds the moment we saw it we jumped on the ship without thinking twice. We made it possible for this show to get a second season, and more than anything, we built this wonderful world around it.

Stories are so much more than imagination, they're not just actors playing a role, there is a point where it stops being just a story and becomes a world on its own, and that world translates into our world, and when that magic happens, when that bridge is created, something so much bigger emerges that forever merges both worlds. It's magic and it's a blessing and I can't but be thankful for it.

My loves, I know you're sad right now. I know we all are struggling for one reason or another, we're all fighting our own battles, be it about physical or mental health, work, study, family, discrimination, or anything else. And OFMD has fought by our side and helped us win so many of those battles already. So when you're in middle of the darkness and can't imagine there could ever be light outside, remember this: we are all with you, right here, right now. Wherever you are, we are with you, and OFMD is with you. Because the things we love do never truly leave us.

We keep saying that OFMD changed us, right? That means that it's become a part of us.

OFMD is and will forever be a part of who you are—and in you, it will live on forever. Be grateful, be immensely grateful, for gratefulness is the vibration that heals the fabric of the Universe and makes miracle happens. Crew, we got something we could never have imagined to begin with!! We are so, so lucky to have had this blessing.

Take the time you need to heal, cry, let out all your pain. But then please be brave and choose kindness, just like OFMD has taught us to. Choose to raise your vibration to that of love and gentleness and dare to believe that life has wonderful things waiting for you. There is hope, there is light, there is magic in your future, a whole life just waiting for you to have the courage to take the next step.

What do you think the crew of the Revenge would have done if they had been told their ship was going to forever stop sailing? They would have thrown another Calypso's birthday party just to celebrate the chance they had to spend so much time there together, and they would have looked forward, found new reasons to be happy, and a new life. Open an inn, for instance!

They would not want us to cry, they would like us to smile and be happy because of the journey we've shared. Or at least, smile through our tears!

You are loved, you are important, your very existence is an absolute blessing to this world. Please never stop being your awesome, beautiful, magical self, because the world needs you exactly as you are- that is why you are here!

Cheer up Crew - we have been so immensely blessed. Can only be thankful 🙏💜🏴‍☠️🖤

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hms-no-fun · 7 months

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so, (SPOILERS FOR FIONNA AND CAKE but its relevant to the question but im gonna put a bunch of line breaks just in case lol)

so fionna and cake ended with fionna basically being like, you know, youre RIGHT god, if magic came back my wish would simply be twisted and it would suck, there will be no rule breaking miracles! I will now work as a struggling minimum wage employee in seattle and Be Happy about it. i sure am glad the threat of losing everyone i know and love set me straight!! sorry to send u this really random thing the ending just felt like such a slap in the face and i wanted to ask someone who knows that exact Seattle Struggle. this is absolutely me appealing to the Writing Gods to back me up that the ending wasnt very good lmao but if i have a direct line to the craftsgoat i simply must use it for something stupid at least once

FULL SERIES SPOILERS FOR FIONNA & CAKE AFTER THE BREAK!!!

i really disagree with your read on the ending. it didn't feel like "just struggle with seattle minimum wage forever and be happy about it" at all to me! the whole instigating incident was that fionna wanted to transform reality into something that she personally thought would be better, without taking into account the fact that other people exist and have internal lives just as complex as hers. she comes back to her original world to find marshall and gary holding hands, explains to them the magical adventure she's been on and the fact that their world is about to transform into something unrecognizably magical, and they receive this with abject horror! fionna doesn't know whether simon becoming ice king again will erase marhsall & gary's burgeoning relationship, which makes her realize that in her quest to escape the boring, oppressive reality of working odd jobs to make ends meet, she's only ever focused that energy on how to make things better for her.

i really want to dig into this because it's a key theme of the show. there is a destructive selfishness innate to the "heroes" of this universe, who feel entitled to the joyous empowerment of being able to defeat anyone and everyone they see in open combat. cake has a whole musical number about this! simon's arc in the last two episodes was betty grabbing him and shaking him until he finally asked himself, how would my life have been different if i'd just once let the woman i loved steer the ship for a while? and then of course we see the lich in a reality where he succeeded in eradicating all life, only to find himself desiccated and without purpose, begging the god of chaos for an answer it cannot give. brian david gilbert's ice prince seems perfectly put together and successful, until the reveal that he's outsourced his madness to someone who didn't accept the terms of the crown's curse. this didn't solve the fundamental problem, it just inverted the roles of its expression by making princess bubblegum into the mad candy queen. nothing about the status quo has changed, simon has simply given himself a more dignified role in it.

this is a story about what happens when people in struggle behave as though they are the protagonist of reality. when fionna says "this is the world i want to fight for" she's not fighting for the right to get another shitty minimum wage job. i think you've really missed something by accepting that conclusion when cake the cat is right there saying that her magical self IS the version of herself she wants to live as. being a normal house cat for her was, arguably, a form of body dysmorphia, and the show lets her keep that magic at the end! the thing is, their world IS changed by the events of the show! the status quo is altered!

like, what do we actually see everyone DOING when the credits approach? we see this entire disconnected community banding together to rebuild the city together, and we see a huge crowd of protesters outside marshall's mom's place demanding that she lower rents. we see people connecting with other people, including three outcasts from other universes escaping to this more boring one for their own safety. i loved this ending honestly, because it felt to me like an attempted refutation of the very idea that you can magically transform reality into something better overnight. if fionna'd gotten her original wish and made her world into, like, candy world, then... what? let's say they play it as like, at last people are freed from the shackles of capitalism and everyone just gets to be weird funky critters going on adventures or whatever. what would that, as art, actually say? what would that mean to us in the real world? if we're going into this cartoon looking for some kind of revolutionary energy (which IS present in the text, much to its credit), what actionable or symbolically resonant message are we supposed to take from a story that resolves its problems with magic? at that point, it ceases to be relevant as anything more than pure fantasy, because it has abandoned any connection to the material reality WE are trapped in.

i don't want to magically transform the world overnight. this whole show goes out of its way to explore how trying to transform the world overnight, in a world where such a thing is possible, is a really fucking bad idea for a whole host of reasons. regardless, such things aren't possible in our world. so going into the finale, my worry was that they WOULD turn fionna's world into another candy world and just say, ah, the revolution is when you think the right things so hard that the material plane bends to your will.

that's neoliberal thinking. that's like the essence of the failed leftist project of the "end of history" era from the 90s onwards, when marxism was systematically rooted out of academic cultural analysis and replaced with the delusion that if you can just get people thinking the right things, you can affect change in the world. well here we are, it's 2023 and all that magical thinking has got us is a world on fire and a civilization of human beings so thoroughly disempowered that they would literally rather pretend to be a tortured anime protagonist than exist in this boring, shitty, violent reality. you can't think your way out of oppression. raising labor consciousness is, at best, step one. you want to know why unions are winning big right now when they've been completely useless in this country for decades? it's because they've stopped giving a shit about optics they can't control and remembered that the boss's value does not exist without labor. you do not necessarily need marxism for this, marxism is simply the most accurate articulation of the fact that workers who make the things a capitalist sells can kneecap the capitalist by refusing to make the things they want to sell. change doesn't happen with the publishing of a book or whatever, it happens when enough people in real life press their material demands hard enough that someone in charge is left no choice but to listen.

so for me, fionna & cake ending the way it did was a huge relief, because it wasn't espousing magical thinking. the solution to fionna's ennui and economic anxiety was not to just get another job and be happy to live in the world as it was-- it was to create a sense of shared community and struggle, uniting the not-seattleites in their survival of a near-apocalypse and using it as a jumping off point for fundamentally transforming the state of that world as it exists. fionna had to realize that her problems are everyone's problems, and that making her life personally better at the expense of everyone else's agency is just an act of kicking the can of responsibility down the road indefinitely. no one who gets their wish in this show is happy to have gotten it, or avoids punishing others who didn't ask to be involved.

the "canonization" of fionna & cake felt like a reaction to the idea that we in our world are permanently isolated from the fictional realities we create where change seems to come so easy, and the powerlessness that can engender. instead this show is saying, okay, let's say we are in continuity with these fantastical realities. what do we actually DO with that? how do we make this world more fun, more interesting, more fulfilling for everyone to live in? the answer is the same as it's always been, and no other answer would ever feel satisfying: you do it by organizing the workers against the current arrangement of the state with the explicit goal of transforming it for the better.

what does simon do at the end when he gives fionna her world to her? he says that no one person should have that responsibility, that it's been in one person's hands for too long. so he gives it to her in the form of a dandelion, whose blown seeds merge with and become part of everyone trying to survive the scarab's attack. the idea here is that while no single person ever possesses the power to transform the world on their own, the world itself belongs to all of us, and it is within our power to transform it together. those who hoard power want us to believe that this is not the case precisely because the basis of their power is fraudulent and maintained through the violence of the state.

as someone who does live in seattle for better and worse, as much as i do wish i could make literally anything better right the fuck now by whatever means necessary... the fact is i can't. and it does no one any good to labor under the assumption that i or any other individual has that kind of absolute transformative power. the solutions are all right there, and they are simple, materialist propositions whose only difficulty lies in how successfully we've been propagandized to think that the individual is God, or at least speaks on His behalf. there's no thinking our way out of this pickle, and no one's gonna do the hard work for us.

as to the question of how you actually get people in real life to get together and do all that hard work... well, personally i think it's unfair to ask a 10 episode cartoon show to give you any kind of actionable advice on that front. i might even go so far as to say that such an expectation is an expression of the very same magical thinking which the show tries to push back against! in any case i liked it quite a lot and i hope this rambling answer encourages you to revisit the show and reconsider some of your takeaways

#sarahposts #fionna and cake #adventure time #spoilers #fionna and cake spoilers

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ahundredtimesover · 1 year

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Belong (05: Post-Credits) | MYG

Pairing: Yoongi x (f.) Reader

Genre/Tags: exes-to-lovers-to-exes-to-lovers; actress!OC x basketball coach!Yoongi; summer romance; “long” distance relationship; parallel timelines; angst, fluff, smut

Chapter (Series) Warnings: foul/explicit language; alcohol consumption & passing out, family drama, sport injury; dreams & moving away; allusion to depression; basketball and acting talk; 2014 and 2022 Yoongi; shy and nonchalant cocky whipped Yoongi; almost drowning, sexual content (kissing, oral, penetrative sex) (18+)

Chapter Word count: 5k

Series Masterlist

Status: Complete

Series summary: Being an actor has always been your dream. Pursuing it meant many things - leaving the town where you grew up, distancing yourself from your family that had fallen apart, and saying goodbye to the man who made you feel what home was like. When you decide to finally return after being away for so long, you meet Min Yoongi again, and you’re reminded of the summer romance from 8 years ago with the college basketball superstar whose broken dream pushed you away. As you find yourself spending time with him, you’re left to wonder if love changes, if it gives second chances, or if it’s just another illusion that will hurt the both of you the second time around.

A/N: Wrapping up this story and this world now, as I keep its meaning close to me, where this Yoongi was a source of comfort. Thank you to those who took a chance with this one. Please know that in the midst of deciding to stop writing, you told me I could keep going. 😌

It was nice to be able to write about a sport that I deeply love (yes, I am manifesting with the NBA game featured here 🤞🏽) and about a theme I’m personally experiencing. Yoongi told us to live in the present and that we can dream simple, gentle dreams, too. Let’s cheer each other on! 💜

Listen to: For All You Give (feat. Lucy Rose) by The Paper Kites || Playlist 🎶

1.5 years later

You walk past the hallways to head outside the airport, large luggage in one hand and a small one on the other.

Your phone rings and Jimin is on the other end, asking if your flight was alright and if the weather is good. You give him a lowdown of the past 18 hours, including your lovely encounter with a Korean-American family during your Minneapolis layover. Their 6-year old is apparently a fan of yours after you did a stint of hosting her favorite Korean variety TV show, and your heart soared when she told you that she wants to be funny and beautiful like you. You found it amusing that doing cute poses and laughing your way through every episode was entertaining enough for her.

“That’s adorable,” Jimin chirps. “I love how your fanbase gets younger every year. You started with grandparents and now you’ve got 6-year olds under your spell.”

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” You laugh. “I just hope these kids don’t watch my latest movie because it’s gonna terrify them.”

“Yeah, at least keep the variety shows to entertain the babies,” he chuckles. “I already told Hoseok that you want to guest-host again. There are a couple of shows that want you onboard.”

“Ah, that’s great,” you beam. “I need as much joy and laughter in my life after that last project. That took so much out of me.”

“It did, didn’t it?” Jimin hums. “But it’s got the media buzzing about you again. So much for that one so-called journalist who claimed that you’re one-dimensional and can’t do anything other than romance because you’re only good at being in love. Let me smack her face with all the good reviews about your latest role so she can shut her one-dimensional mouth.”

You giggle at Jimin’s words, his protective nature soothing you like it always does. You remember when that article about you came out after you starred in a mini-series, a project you had after the show you filmed in Paris, which did turn out to be your biggest break then. Your role in that drama had you falling in love with someone from a rival family, one of the show’s major plot points, and that journalist went off about your supposed versatility being premised on the emotions of being in love. You can’t really do much outside of it, she said, and it was that same day when you got the lead role for a psychological thriller, with the industry’s eyes on you to see if you’re able to handle a character that’s so different from what you’re used to.

And well, it’s safe to say you blew their minds. Even you didn’t think you could do that well, but you pushed hard, not only to prove yourself to them but to challenge yourself, knowing that there’s more to learn and showcase even after 10 years of being in the industry.

The reviews showed that you delivered. Critics praised your acting, saying how disturbed they felt during specific scenes, and that was a compliment for you, knowing that was the goal. The movie was even shown in a recent foreign Film Festival, and the praises are still coming; Jimin’s been the one sending you every article and post he could find, and he’s been nothing short of amazing when it comes to encouraging and praising you himself for another successful project.

It wasn’t without its difficulties though, as getting into character meant you had to immerse yourself in its darkness, in the disturbing themes that ate away at you sometimes. It was Yoongi who’d been the one to bring you out to the light every time - sending you flowers while on set, giving you a bath after every filming so you’re not left in your own mind, holding you close whenever you slept, and driving you out during days off. It was hard but it was worth it, as you felt liberated from all the negative emotions once filming wrapped up.

Yoongi was supportive all throughout - including all the promotions you had to do and the moments of doubt you’d have about your performance. He held your hand during the premiere and took you to the mountains for a weekend to escape it all for a while. Other than the amazing sex you had and the time away from everyone, you both spent those days wrapped up in each other’s arms, easing back to your normal lives that didn’t include you randomly crying at night or losing sleep from your tiring schedule.

You’d just wrapped up your promos for the film in Seoul and you’re also waiting for the next project while working on some endorsements and guesting on the side. But after the exhausting couple of months, you deserve a break, and you want nothing more than to focus on Yoongi, knowing he’s the one who’ll be needing your love and support this time.

Jimin breaks through your thoughts and asks if the car he’d arranged has arrived.

“Not yet, but Yoongi messaged that he’s 5 minutes away,” you respond. “Thanks, by the way. I know you had to arrange all this in such short notice and had to work with Hoseok to push back all my other schedules. I know it was stressful for you, too.”

“And who said I ever minded?” Jimin replies. “I’ve spent enough time with Yoongi to know how much he takes care and supports you, and that also means I know just how much his career means to him. I’m sure you already know but nonchalant and cool he may be, he’s incredibly nervous. I just know having you there is gonna make all the difference.”

“I know,” you smile, feeling emotional at the thought. “I’m just so happy for him. He’s been sending me photos since he got here and I could just see his eyes sparkling. I’m so excited to see him in action.”

“Me, too, at least from here. We’ll be tuning in and I’ll just pretend I know shit about basketball and the NBA,” Jimin laughs. “I guess it’s weird to be cheering for the commentator and not the players but oh well. Just tell him we’re rooting for him; Jin’s gonna host watch parties in his house. We’ll invite Jungkook and Namjoon so there’ll be people who can actually explain to us what’s happening.”

You laugh at Jimin’s rambling. It’s touching to know just how much your friends have come to support Yoongi as well. You’ve to remind yourself that not long ago, they were all wary of him, given the 2 times he let you go. But they’ve seen in the past year and a half exactly what that love you treasure really looks like. You always said it was transformative for both of you in different ways, and they’ve come to witness that, too.

They’ve seen how tough days for you were always made better whenever Yoongi was around, how negative voices were always drowned out by his gentleness and encouragement, how bouts of insecurities were easily mended by his belief in you.

That love got you regularly going home to Daegu to see his dad and to be with yours, and to make an effort to heal the wounds with your sisters.

That love also got Yoongi to be braver, to take chances and to make the most out of every opportunity he could find. It’s that love that supported him throughout the months that he wrote for that online sports magazine, until he became a regular guest at an online sports show. It’s what encouraged him to apply for a sports channel’s basketball analyst position; you remember the smile on his face when he got the job and the first time he appeared on TV to talk about the sport he’s loved for most of his life. It’s your shared love that got him to dream again - maybe coach a professional team in the future, perhaps become a household name in sports media. It doesn’t matter what form, you’d remind him, as long as it was in the world of basketball.

It’s that same love that’s going to hold his hand through the next 2 or so weeks, as Yoongi lives out a dream he didn’t think he’d have. As a 10-year old who’d imagined himself playing for the NBA too many times, he didn’t think that 20 years later, he’d be reporting on it as part of the South Korean media. He thinks it’s just as much a dream as any. This is the sport he loves, and he told you once that he can’t imagine his life without it.

“Oh, I think that’s him!” You tell Jimin, as you spot the maroon car that Yoongi said he was in. “Thank you again.”

“Just call me for anything, okay?” He says on the other end. “And enjoy Boston!”

You bid him goodbye and rush to the car that stops not far from where you are. Yoongi exits and you hug him immediately, falling into the warmth that you’ve missed this past week. You were at a promotional event in Busan when he left Seoul for the US a few days ago so you didn’t get to say goodbye, but it appeased you that you could spend your break with him here.

But more than anything, it’s the fact that you get to be part of his new world this time, and nothing makes you happier than being able to see that sparkle in his eyes that made you fall for him that first time all those years ago. There’s that confidence again, that drive. Yoongi is all kinds of beautiful everyday, but seeing him do something he loves has always been special. You’re glad you get to witness that again.

“I missed you, jagi,” he hums in your ear. How was your flight?”

“Good. I got a bit of rest,” you reply. “And I missed you, too.”

Yoongi smiles and gives your luggage to the chauffeur who loads them in the trunk. You both enter the car and sneak in a kiss for the seconds that you’re alone, and he smiles against your lips before turning to you.

“You seem excited,” he states.

“Of course, baby. It’s the big day tomorrow. Aren’t you?”

“I’m terrified, actually,” he chuckles to mask the nervousness. “But Mr. Chan called earlier to ask how I’m feeling and he’s been so supportive, saying that his sprained ankle must’ve been a blessing in disguise if it meant I get to take his place. I did the reporting the other day during Media Day and he said I did really well, asking the players and coaches really good questions. He said if I sustain this during the entire championship series, I could be well on my way to reporting more big games even in other sports.”

“Baby, that’s huge!” You beam, turning to him to see his shy smile. “You could be reporting on the Olympics, who knows! But the NBA… this is huge for you. The fact that you’re who they thought to replace him is a big deal. It means they really see something in you.”

“I still think it’s a fluke,” he sighs. “If Mr. Chang hadn’t gotten injured, it would’ve been him. It just so happened that the other guys are either on leave or on another assignment and I was… there.”

“Then you just saved their asses! It means you get to show them how good you are, and I know you’re good. I wouldn’t be paying attention to basketball if you weren’t calling it.”

“You’re biased though,” he laughs.

“Duh. Name one other sports commentator who knows his shit, is incredibly handsome, has such a soothing voice, and looks hot talking about people shooting balls?” You exclaim. “No one! Just you! Baby, you’re saving the industry!”

Yoongi thinks you’re adorable when you go off like this. He always knew you didn’t actually pay attention to his games before because your eyes were only on him. Whenever you’d both watch on TV, you’re often curled into his arms, remarking that he does that same jumper smoothly or that the players are either boring or too cocky. You understand the sport, though. He knows you’re interested because you get basic terms and ask him questions. Sometimes he thinks you just want to hear him talk or analyze a play; sometimes you just giggle when he’s pulling his hair or yelling over a stupid call or when his team’s losing, but regardless of your level of appreciation for the sport, he knows you love it because he does, and that means more to him than you’ll ever know.

He gives in though, knowing you feel strongly about his basketball commentary skills.

“Thank you, jagi. I at least know that if I completely fail at this, you’d still think I’m hot.”

“Baby, I think you’re hot all the time. You could even model or act, you know? The industry will benefit from this pretty face,” you wink.

“Let’s say hypothetically, I do act. What happens if I have an intimate scene with someone? What would you do?” He asks, arching an eyebrow because he can almost predict what you’re gonna say.

“I will cry,” you pout, causing him to laugh.

It’s all hypothetical, but he can tell you’ll really be upset even if it’s something he has to live with all the time. It’s something he’s gotten used to, though. He did survive watching your scenes with Pablo where you both cuddled “naked” in bed, although he admits looking away so many times. He also made it through your mini-series where you had multiple sexually tense scenes with your co-star. He admits he likes it when you’re more clingy and affectionate after each filming and episode, and he won’t complain.

But knowing how affected you’d be if the roles were reversed makes him a little soft. He remembers those summers years ago when you’d eye the girls who’d cheer for him during his games and how you always ran to him after to hold his hand and then kiss him intensely in the bathroom or his car. You would deny the jealous girlfriend allegations and he used to just laugh through it. It seems like nothing has changed.

“These lips are for me only,” you say, cupping his cheeks to hold him in place for a deep kiss.

“They are,” he smiles. “And I know at the end of the day, your lips are only for me, too.”

He kisses you again, no longer minding the chauffeur in the car who doesn’t seem to care that you’re being affectionate in his backseat.

“They are,” you hum. “They’re for your neck, and your chest, and—” you palm his cock — “for this.”

“Jagi,” he laughs, already used to your antics.

You’re usually like this after being away. You were apart for a few days and it’s been a while since you’ve been separated for longer than that.

“I just miss you,” you sigh, hugging him now and liking the comfort of his touch as always. “No one would massage my feet after walking in heels for hours and have a bath with me, no one would make me cum to sleep or kiss me goodnight.”

“Nice to know that’s all you miss,” he teases, earning him another pout.

“You know what I mean.”

“I do, and I miss those, too,” he hums as he kisses your forehead. “Thanks though, for coming here. I know that Jimin and Hoseok had to push back some of your schedules.”

“No issue at all. I wanted to be here, babe. This is a big deal and I’m… I’m just so happy for you,” you say against his chest.

“You know I wouldn’t have gotten here without you, right?” He replies, emotional now at how far he’s come.

It’s been years but the memory of his injury and his subsequent fallout from the sport comes and goes sometimes, so was losing you in the process. And then losing you again. But he’s here now, with you, the night before an important moment of his young career as a sports analyst, and he’s never felt more secure in his life.

“You’ve always been a fighter,” you look up at him. “And you’re here because of you.” You kiss him softly. “But I can also take credit, that’s fine,” you laugh. “But really, thank you for not giving up on your dream, babe. I hope you know that it gives me courage, too.”

That night, you climb into bed with Yoongi, the exhaustion from the long trip overtaking you. There’s warmth in his eyes when he looks at you, and he chuckles when you try to stay awake. It’s his soft lips against your forehead that bids you goodnight, and you fall into his arms, knowing that this is what you’ll be waking up to in the morning.

The next evening, you walk inside TD Garden, Boston’s sports arena, where Game 1 of the NBA finals between the Celtics and Phoenix Suns are being held. The energy is insane, something you’ve never felt before, and it’s making you giddy and excited. You can only imagine what it’s like for Yoongi, and the thought makes your heart warm.

You did see him taking long breaths earlier after he’d dressed up and prepared to leave, and much as you’d been so tired, you just had to hug him to calm him down and tell him that he’s gonna do great. He’s just excited, he claimed, but he’ll look for you in the arena; knowing you’re there with him will be enough to calm his racing heart.

He had to go earlier to cover the press conference and film for their segment in Seoul’s morning news channel. It’s just him, Hee-soo, and a small production crew but it’s all they need. As commentators, they get to call the game but also interview the players and staff, report it, and then write about it. It’s tough and stressful but it’s the kind of buzz that Yoongi lives for now, you can tell, as you eye him in his designated analysts’ table, looking around and taking in the energy of the arena. His smile is priceless. There’s pride in it, there’s acceptance. It looks like the smile of someone who fought hard to have a new dream, and someone who worked to achieve it.

Yoongi’s eyes go to you and you wave. You’re thankful for the connections you have that got you this ticket last minute, and even if you won’t pay attention to the game as much, being here to witness Yoongi call his first NBA match is too special to miss. You can’t imagine being anywhere else.

The game is an exciting one. You get into it with the crowd even if you don’t exactly have a team you’re rooting for but you cheer just the same. Your eyes constantly flit to Yoongi though, whose position isn’t far from where you’re seated.

You listen through the online channel so you can hear what he’s saying, and the way he describes the energy inside is on-point. He narrates the plays effectively; you could be looking away from the court and still feel like you’re watching because of how good he is. His voice is calm and measured, except towards the end when the game is close and his pitch increases and he matches the excitement of what’s happening. It’s intense and exhilarating, and when the final buzzer sounds, you turn to him and see that smile on his face again.

Tears form in your eyes as you feel overwhelming pride. Perhaps it’s similar to what he felt when he was with you during the recent Film Festival where your movie was shown and the audience gave your entry a standing ovation. He knew what you had to go through for that role and seeing your hard work paying off meant so much to him, as he got to hold your hand and tell you he was proud of you.

That was special, he said. So many times in the past, he wanted to tell you all that, and that you did well, and that he’s looking forward to the next big thing you’ll do, but he never had the courage to. That’s why he’d send flowers, he told you.

He also revealed how that came about - how he’d driven to Seoul for your first movie premiere with a bouquet of daisies but that he’d seen you with someone, and how he decided to leave it at the agency for you to receive. He almost took it back but you seemed to like it so he just continued with the tradition. You cried then, and he said he didn’t want you to feel guilty. But you were emotional because he still looked out for you and his care for you never wavered. The flowers gave you strength, and you’d told him you wanted to be like those daisies for him, too.

Seeing him now gives you that sense of fulfillment, that not long from now, you’ll be able to hold his hand and tell him you’re proud of him, and the chance to do that for someone you love is special beyond words. You’re glad you can finally do that for each other now.

Gentle dreams, you think. This life with him and all the simple things you do for each other and together are some of the biggest ones.

It’s quiet in the car on the way to your hotel, the fancier one you booked for both of you instead of the mid-range one they got for him. Yoongi is focused on his notebook, jotting down notes from his memory that he’ll have to write up later on.

He’s then glued to his device once you get to your room, with him seated on the couch and agreeing to your orders for room service for your dinner. It seems he’s going through the messages of praise from his colleagues and his friends. A lot of people tune in to the channel’s coverage of the NBA, and other than you, no one’s prouder than his dad and his brother.

You watch him from the bathroom door, appreciating the joy he exudes. It’s different from what you’d seen all those years ago. This is a man who went through various kinds of pain and had other people suffer because of it, something he still burdens himself with every once in a while. But he did the brave thing of dreaming again; sometimes you think that’s probably harder than when he gave up on the first one.

Yoongi shows you everyday that courage takes different forms. Sometimes it’s letting something go, sometimes it’s fighting for them. Sometimes it’s loving someone from afar and sometimes it’s flying thousands of miles to a foreign country and asking for them back.

But it’s always picking up your broken pieces and learning to love yourself despite and because of them. It’s finding something or someone you can’t live without and offering what you can, trusting that they’ll take you into their world because you deserve it. Courage is dreaming again, it’s loving again even with the possibility of getting hurt. It’s trusting yourself enough that you’re going to be okay if things don’t go your way.

You hear him call your name. You realize you’ve been gazing at him for longer than you intended, and so you walk towards him as he looks at you questioningly.

“I was just admiring how happy you look,” you say. “It suits you, and I’m just so thankful I get to see it.”

His face softens and he reaches out his hand, one that he kisses and he doesn’t say anything else. He just looks at you tenderly and your heart races at the sight.

You bend to capture his lips on yours, your movements gentle yet wanting. But it builds as time passes, until you feel him undoing the knot of your bathrobe, with him sighing in satisfaction when he feels you bare underneath. Your breath hitches when he cups your breast and you want nothing more than to have him right now.

You pull away then remove your robe, liking the way his eyes roam around your naked form and how he gulps at the position you’re getting into, as you get on your knees and spread his legs apart. His slacks get off first, and then his briefs. He removes the rest of his clothes as you take him in your mouth, his cock heavy and wanting as it reaches the edge of your throat.

You take your time, wanting him to feel good after what he’d done tonight, but he’s the one who pulls away, wanting instead to bury himself inside you. It’s what he does, as he directs you on the couch, entering you from behind while his fingers do their magic on all parts of your body. But he lets you both come together, on the bed as he hovers over you, his head no longer buried in your neck, with his eyes looking straight into yours as you both come down from your highs.

He kisses your lips tenderly as his I love you, and the way he holds you later that night says everything he can’t say.

Loving you is what he wants to do in his life. Loving you is courage.

You didn’t realize just how tiring covering the NBA finals would be. Considering their small team, Yoongi and Hee-soo work double time to get all the information they need to cover the games and write about them within a short period of time. They also have to fly back and forth depending on where the game is and you’ve liked tagging along, enjoying the amenities of your hotel and exploring the nearby area. It’s what you do in Boston and then in Phoenix.

And while a game 7 is great for the league and basketball fans, you can tell it’s taxing for Yoongi. He doesn’t complain though. It’s part of the experience; the first one tends to be very memorable, he says.

Both of you find yourselves in Boston's public garden the afternoon after the final game of the series. It’s been a crazy 24 hours, as Yoongi and Hee-soo had to do interviews and then report and then write about the game. You stayed by Yoongi’s side, attending to his needs and helping whenever you can.

It’s early morning in Korea by now and work can resume later, perhaps right before or during your early morning flight back home, but you’re both at what has become one of your favorite spots in the city. It’s nice and simple and quiet. The garden is also accessible. It reminds you of the park in Paris, the one where Yoongi had come to meet you, and you cried in his arms at the sight of the man you didn’t think you’d be able to be with again, but he braved through his fears to be with you.

“I like it here,” you say, as you walk past one of the many statues.

“It’s nice, isn’t it?” He hums. “The pond reminds me of Paris.”

You turn to him and smile, letting him know you were thinking the same.

Yoongi watches you lovingly look at the flowers. Your head turns when you hear toddlers squealing on their parents’ shoulders. And you perk up at the dog that stops to sniff his leg. They’re all simple but they’re so unabashedly you - soft, charming, and everything he needs.

He thinks about all the things he loves about you as you smile and laugh at your surroundings. He’s been thinking about a lot of things, actually, constantly pinching his arm to remind himself that this life he’s created with you isn’t just some dream he conjured in his mind to get over losing you twice. You’re actually, truly next to him, living his new dream with him, as he dreams your dream with you. He doesn’t think he can get any happier than everyday he gets to live like this.

You told him a few times that he’s brave for dreaming a new dream. It’s scary to do that, you’d said, so are other things, like loving again and again, accepting the broken pieces of himself and loving every one of them. You’d said that he was brave for flying to see you and asking for you back, and while he agrees to some extent, he doesn’t think anyone can be braver than you.

You love intensely and genuinely; you love so certainly. You love like you heal, and you love yourself and others so you could heal as well. The way you loved him all these years has been filled with courage - you loved when it hurt, when it didn’t feel like he wanted to fight for you, when it felt like your love wasn’t strong enough to carry his burden. You loved so hard that there would be nothing to regret if the world ended the next day, and your love is so transformative that it created a home in his aching heart so that it could be strong enough to love both you and him after everything.

You turn to him and reach out for your hand as you head towards the exit, and he jogs to where you are and intertwines his fingers with yours - not loosely but securely; he wants you to know he’s never letting you go.

There’s no version of life that he’d let you go another time. And so when he gets a message from the jeweler that his order for a customized daisy ring is ready, Yoongi’s heart soars to know that he could at least give you - ask you - something that will let you know that he’ll choose this life over and over again as long as it’s the one where he gets to live the rest of it next to you.

You’ll both go back to Seoul, in the home you both created, in each other’s arms where you both belong.

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#yoongi fic #yoongi angst #yoongi fluff #yoongi smut #yoongi x reader #yoongi fanfic #yoongi x you #yoongi fanfiction #min yoongi #bts suga #yoongi series

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drconstellation · 4 months

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Gabriel as a Shoulder Angel: S2 Study

Part 2: Ep.3 I Know Where I'm Going and Ep.5 The Ball

So far in this series we've covered S1 and the Job minisode in S2E2, where the classic Supreme Archangel Gabriel stands on the left-hand side of the archangels as their collective shoulder-demon. As he arrived at the bookshop at the beginning of S2 we see that we are getting a parallel to the opening of S1, with Gabriel becoming a mirror and a foil to Crowley.

Episode 3: I Know Where I'm Going

We open with a content and safe ex-archangel clad in archangel tartan (with Aziraphale's teal underneath,) observing the world below as it wakes up.

Once he's dressed and downstairs at work, we get a centralized look at his hands holding a significant book. It's from the movie "A Matter of Life or Death," but you see it in the opening credit under it's US title release "Stairway to Heaven." The best meta I've seen describing the movie is here by @simonezitrone79

Crowley is looking after Jim in the bookshop while Aziraphale has gone to Edinburgh at this point. He stays on the demonic left, and Jim on the angelic right while they have a discussion about gravity, and things staying where you put them - or not. The book and it's movie connection is relevant to this discussion. It alludes to returning an item to its rightful place. But how do you decide where that rightful place should be? Is it natural for angels to go upwards, and demons downwards? Do only flies have the ability to defy the laws of the universe set unchallenged since the beginning of time? They all have wings...

Jim is still a puzzled and doubtful angel as Crowley describes his "Operation Lovebirds" plan. It sounds like there is some demonic mischief afoot!

After the failure of the rainstorm to get Maggie and Nina together, Crowley turns to find Jim sitting in a chair - back on the left.

Crowley's comment about a tempest triggers another possession of Jim, and an ominous prophetic warning of storms to come.

Just as Jim snaps out of this, Crowley must rush outside to confront Shax. He decides he won't play her games, and retreats back inside the bookshop, where Shax can't follow. He suggests she might spot an archangel, and the camera focus slides from Crowley on the left to Jim on his angelic right, suggesting to us they are one and the same.

But once Shax is gone, the real demon emerges to the suggested trouble-making demon, and threatens Jim with something awful if anything happens to Aziraphale.

We don't see Jim during Episode 4, so on to the next one!

Episode 5: The Ball

At Aziraphale's suggestion, Crowley comes to talk to Gabriel, and finds him playing with a lamp light switch upstairs in the bookshop.

Crowley enters the room blocked on the angelic right side at the start of the conversation, while Jim is demonized on the left.

Crowley has often doubted that Gabriel has really lost him memory, and is just pretending to be vague and naive, so confronts him with his crimes against Aziraphale in Crowley's eyes. Jim is on the left-side while this occurs.

But as he watches Jim begin to climb out the window, Crowley becomes the demon again. This is partly due the Temptation that is occurring here - the Second Temptation of Jesus in the wilderness, leading up to his entry into Jerusalem, as Gabriel and Crowley also share the roles of Jesus in the underlying story line of the The Passion that is playing out throughout S2.

Crowley stops him from falling, again, and Jim returns to the angel-side for the moment, while Crowley questions him further.

"Where is your memory, then?" he asks? "Everywhere."

Crowley eventually gives up, but seems to understand somewhat, and offers Jim a hot chocolate. Jim is now back in the center of the camera, in a neutral position.

Its worth speaking a bit more about the hot chocolate at this point, as Jim is the only one who really drinks it during S2. And both Aziraphale and Crowley offering it is significant, especially in light of the coffee shop name. I've talked about it a couple of times, and when I look back on what I've said it is usually tinged with what ever was the topic being discussed at the time. But the guts of what I said remain the same. Crowley is essentially making an apology here to Jim for what he just did, but on another level the hot chocolate represents a choice that the others in S2 don't get.

Most of us get the two options, coffee, or death. But Jim has been given a third option, and he has grabbed it enthusiastically with both hands. Aziraphale has handed it to him in spades, even! That much will take a long time to get through, wouldn't it. It's a big generous gift, that Aziraphale understands well. Gabriel came to Aziraphale because he instinctively knew Aziraphale understood what he needed. Mr 'six-shots-of-espresso' loves his freedom, or liberty, and his life here on Earth. The humans who line up for their dose of Heaven every day do, too. Death is the option-that-is-not-an-option. It's duty [and obligation.] It's the tax we all have to pay for living. So the Metatron turns up and offers Aziraphale a coffee to one who doesn't drink coffee. Essentially the Metatrash offers a choice that isn't a choice. Aziraphale's only choice is to do his duty at this point, or else...well, we aren't shown it, but it seems the 'else' was too terrible to contemplate. (Or, as some people alternatively see it, the Metatron kept pushing until he was offered a carrot he couldn't refuse.) But Jim, he's been given the option that Aziraphale and Crowley really want, but can't quite have at this point. Freedom to love as they want, and openly in front of all Heaven, Hell and Humanity. They understand. They don't judge Jimbriel for this, they actually encourage it - they both make it happen right under [Heaven and Hell's] noses in the end! The irony of it! They give their arch-enemy the gift that they dream of. ...the sweet hot chocolate is Gabriel's special option, facilitated by Aziraphale and Crowley. He doesn't have to drink what the plebs drink, the bitter devotional duty to Heaven [or Hell.]

Not long after, the Eldritch Ball starts, and we see Jim in his Gabriel-blue Liberace suit. In religious iconography Gabriel is associated with the right-hand side of Jesus, and when he's positioned there he wears blue. So it was only appropriate that Aziraphale dress him in that colour (plus it reflects the divine status of Heaven that he knows Gabriel to originate from.) Jim starts on the left-side...

but soon finds himself center-stage again! Oh, dear, what an attention seeker. You're supposed to be in hiding, you silly angel!

Look at the joy on his face! He's all right-hand side angel there.

Then Shax and her Legion of the Damned break up the party. He offers to go outside and give himself up to save everyone. Wow - doesn't he do it in style, taking center stage yet again.

This is actually a deliberate pose, made to reference Jesus as he preaches to the masses, even though it looks like he's saying "here I am, come get me." Arms outstretched, his two lower fingers are also curled in on each side, much like Jesus is often pictured as well.

Hey, Shax, it's me you want! Jim, short for James, but also Gabriel.

Oh, you don't know the mistake you are making, Shax...

So he returns inside, still taking center stage - in between Aziraphale on the demonic left, and Crowley on the angelic right, to report what happened outside.

Gabriel exits, angelic stage right, defeated, while Crowley confronts Shax.

The last we see of Jim in Ep.5 is in the background, over Aziraphale's left shoulder, so he's returned back to being a sinister-sided angel again, in his assistant book seller garb.

But the night isn't finished yet, there is still much more to come!

This meta is part of a series on Gabriel

Gabriel as a Shoulder Angel: S1 Study

S2 Study Part 1: Ep.1 The Arrival and Ep. 2 The Clue

S2 Study Part 3: Ep.6 Every Day

First Order Archangels Part 1: Maybe You'll See An Archangel

First Order Archangels Part 2: Foils of War

#good omens #good omens 2 #good omens meta #gabriel #crowley #aziraphale #shax #shoulder angel #the eldritch ball

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writingquestionsanswered · 10 months

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Character Goes "Insane" and "Snaps Out of It"

Anonymous asked: Hello! I hope you’re doing well! 😊 I’d like tips on how to write a scene where a character who has snapped and gone completely insane softens or snaps out of it when they see their love interest dying (because of them), without it being unrealistic or just poorly developed/thought through/written. Context: MC snaps after numerous events that made them more and more deranged and the last straw was finding out their love interest betrayed them, so they kinda destroy their love interest’s country and when they’re about to deal the final blow to their love interest, they can’t do it.

Note: This ask came in off Anon, but since they--like most of us--are in the process of unlearning harmful information drilled into us by society and the media, I thought it best to put it on Anon for their protection. Please remember we're all in this process of unlearning and relearning together! ♥

Unfortunately, even today, the behaviors resulting from mental illnesses and other neurological conditions aren't well understood by the general public. There's still a lot of harmful beliefs and offensive terminology being perpetuated in the mainstream, and it looks like you have yet to start the unlearning process. So, let's unlearn together! ♥

Issue #1 - Outside of its continued use as a term in criminal law, the word "insanity" is outdated and meaningless. It dates to a time before specific mental illnesses and neurological conditions had been identified to explain associated behaviors. Even if your story is set in a time or place when mental illnesses and neurological conditions aren't understood or labeled, as a 21st century writer, you still need to know and understand the mental illness or neurological condition responsible for your character's behavior. You can't just have them experience increasing psychosis as a result of various traumatic events. You can start by researching the relationship between trauma, mental illnesses, and neurological conditions to learn which specific mental illnesses or neurological conditions may be responsible for your character's behavior.

Issue #2 - When someone has a mental illness or neurological condition that worsens over time and causes an increase in associated behaviors, that doesn't just go away in an instant due to some moment of emotional appeal. There are mental illnesses and neurological conditions that are characterized by episodes of associated behaviors interspersed with periods of improvement, but again, it wouldn't be a gradual slide to experiencing psychosis full-time that suddenly vanishes because a light bulb went on. Fortunately, this is something you should be able to figure out as you figure out exactly what is happening with your character and how it would affect their behavior/role in the story.

Issue #3 - Since mental illnesses and neurological conditions are many and varied, and many people are living with more than one, I can't tell you how to write this scene, because how to write this scene depends on the specific mental illness/es and/or neurological condition/s your character is living with and the specific behaviors they experience as a result. Only you can figure that out after you do the necessary research. Until that time, you're not ready to write this story without it being both harmful and offensive. The good news is, there is a ton of information available online, and if you put in the time and work to do the research and learn, you should be able to portray this character and scene in a way that is believable and well done. I would also suggest that before you share this story with an audience, you should look for a sensitivity reader with experience in whichever mental illness/es and/or neurological condition/s you decide make the most sense for your character. That way they can vet your portrayal to make extra sure it isn't harmful or offensive.

Here are some links to help with research:

WQA’s Guide to Internet Research Writing About Difficult to Research Topics

Best of luck with your research and story! ♥

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#tw mental illness #tw mental health #tw mental breakdown #wqaadvice #tw insanity

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magicalgirlagency · 1 month

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We already know how you feel about That Anime, but even you cannot deny its potential. I remember you mentioning some positives about it before...

Yep! While I won't hesitate ripping it to shreds, I also won't deny that there are indeed some cool tropes in it.

First, the plot itself is told from the villains' perspective, which it's quite fresh for the Magical Girl genre! I'm open to these types of parodies where the villain does regular stuff and interacts with the heroes normally outside of action with the occasional and hilarious awkwardness, too. That's why I love Machikado Mazoku and Mr. Villain's Day Off so much.

The heroine Utena is PAINFULLY relatable and self-aware, which it's yet another rare/underutilized character trope in the genre, too. When Venalita read their observation notes on the first episode, I felt like I was being put on blast. Not to mention how I find myself quoting "Why is this happening to me? I like Magical Girls..." every single time an inconvenience happens to me.

I also like how Venalita at least commits to their role as a bad guy. They actually stalk the heroine, manipulate her with a sad story, and threaten to reveal her alter-ego to the world if they refuse to cooperate. Unlike Kyuubey, who just straight up lies/omits to the girls that they recruit, and by the time when they discover the horrible truth, it's already too late (not to mention the overused and shitty "because you didn't asked." excuse).

Kiwi's character is also great, because she's not a villain because she went through some traumatizing sob story that's bordeline manipulative to the audience; she's a villain because she's tired of the Magical Girls stealing her spotlight as the cutest girl. She's not only petty, but also a highly destructive bitch.

And speaking of destructive bitches, Kaoruko/Sulfur is my fave of the Tres Magia. Usually the yellow-coded heroine either plays the role of the soft-spoken and responsible onee-san/senpai or the charismatic and eager Genki Girl; but Kaoruko is just so delightfully unconventional. She beat the shit out of a minion even before she joined the team, she's confrontational and swears regularly, she's got bitchin' gauntlets. She doesn't fit pre-determined molds, and I adore her.

I also like how the fighting sequences are genuinely intense. You usually don't see such high-octane fights outside of PreCure, so this wild change of pace is really cool. There are injuries, different power-ups/forms, creative usage of powers... if I didn't knew any better, I'd say there's some Shonen inspo involved.

But of course, all of that cool stuff I just mentioned is ruined by the constant illegal lewdness that drives the plot forward. I'd like to reiterate that I am not against kinks whatsoever (I'm a adult, miss me with that puritanical bullshit), but if you're gonna make lesbian porn, at least certify that your ladies are of legal age, or else it's a crime.

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rebeccalouisaferguson · 10 months

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The sci-fi thriller series Silo has wrapped its first season on Apple TV, where it debuted as the No. 1 drama in the history of streamer. And boy, do we have questions.

Based on Hugh Howey’s trilogy of dystopian novels, Silo is the story of the last 10,000 people on Earth, whose mile-deep home protects them from the toxic and deadly world outside. However, no one knows when or why the silo was built, and any who try to find out face fatal consequences. Rebecca Ferguson (Mission Impossible franchise) stars as Juliette, an engineer who seeks answers about a loved one’s murder and tumbles onto a mystery that goes far deeper than she could have ever imagined, leading her to discover that if the lies don’t kill you, the truth will.

Ahead of the season finale, Deadline was granted an all-too-brief interview with Ferguson, who addressed the show’s arrival during the pandemic and what it was like to constantly run up and down those stairs.

DEADLINE An apocalyptic drama coming out during a pandemic. Did you wonder whether people would want want to watch a drama like this because of the hell they’ve already been through?

REBECCA FERGUSON It was so odd. Obviously I see the relationship to Covid. This might sound really weird. I love shooting this show so much. It is the biggest joy in my life. Just being able to go onto set, even if we were behind masks. I didn’t even make the parallel in my head until doing interviews. And I was like, ‘oh my God. Yeah, of course.’ How claustrophobic and weird, but no, in my head I was pushing forward with our story and just so happy we were able to shoot it. I wasn’t even thinking about the pandemic. And I also think it is quite important for us actors to not make the parallel to the world of the lockdown. The world that you are watching is our true reality, right? So there shouldn’t be a shock effect or a feeling of claustrophobia. It’s our world. It’s all we have seen for the last 200 something years.

When you began this project, did you want to know, or did you feel you needed to know what was on the outside of the silo before you began shooting?

FERGUSON If you’ve read the books by Hugh Howey, who is a very intelligent human being, it’s not just one answer. It’s a grander picture that gradually unravels. So yeah, of course I knew about it. I did all the research I could and read all the books. What I found interesting was how I loved the world in the silo. I love the world of not knowing and then gradually opening up the possibility of getting out. What does that do to our psyche? Not over why we’re locked in, but more about what’s out there?

What do you think about Showrunner/EP Graham Yost’s work, adapting these books for the small screen? It seems like a behemoth task.

FERGUSON I’m in awe. It is very tricky. I was a part of the process with the script. Graham has shared this story. It wasn’t anything I wanted to go out with, but it kind of falls into the category of your question. I didn’t love the first draft of one of the episodes when they offered the role to me. So I turned it down. We had an ongoing conversation about it. And I said, ‘no, thank you. I’m gonna move on, but these are my notes.’ And then I went, but I kept on coming back to the story. I kept on asking my agents, ‘have they cast it? Who have they offered it to? And, I dunno, I was so drawn to it. Then they came back and they had done a change. They had adapted all of my thoughts. And I realized how good they were at understanding narrative from my perspective as a female actress, as the lead of the show and what I was after. But also the drama, the tension, the things that it lacked from a visual point of view that I had felt in the book. I did nothing other than basically complain [she laughs] and said,’ I’m not feeling it.’ They went back to the drawing board and presented something else. I saw within one change how quickly they could adapt something into a visual spectacle. That is so difficult when you read a book because you think, how do we process this? How do we get all of this in? Do we make this guy a woman? How do we make it equal? And I got all the answers from just asking and hearing and seeing the changes they could do, just like that. Graham is phenomenal, along with the people he works with.

I feel like you burned a ton of calories on this show because you were always running. What was that set like?

FERGUSON I am so proud of this set. Number one, it’s a family. Everyone knows each other. There’s no hierarchy. Everyone loves each other and everyone wants to come back. And we’re acting on sets that are some of the biggest I’ve ever worked on. I mean, the silo, for various reasons is not a hundred and something floors like the silo is [in the show], but it’s enough for me to get really fucking tired running up and down.

Did it feel as claustrophobic making this show?

FERGUSON To be honest, and I don’t know if I should say this, but the sets are so huge that you can’t feel claustrophobic. The studio isn’t locked. It’s not a reality. We are outside. But what I did feel a couple of times was exhaustion. We worked so hard, all of us. And I remember being on set once, and I just felt tears coming. Like, I started choking up. I was in the helmet. It was one of the last sequences, and I was tired. I was really, really tired. And the focus puller looked at me and just went, ‘do you need to go out?’ I thought, no, no, I’m fine. I need to push through. Come on, let’s do this. And he looked at me and went, ‘no, we’re not running. We’re not doing anymore. Go out.’ And I walked out, took the helmet off, and I burst out crying. I think maybe it was a lack of sunlight or something, or I was tired or emotional. I don’t know what it was. But that’s the first time I realized, actually, what it does to a lot to us. We just forget when we’re inside because we love it. We love what we do. We’re all there. And it’s so nice to have someone who has your back and looks at you and goes, ‘you need air. You need some real air right now.’ Get outside, grab a coffee and come back.

Silo has already been picked up for a second season and is currently in production in the U.K. It is produced for Apple TV+ by AMC Studios. The series is executive produced by Yost, Howey and Ferguson, alongside Morten Tyldum (Defending Jacob, The Imitation Game) who also directed the first three episodes, Nina Jack, Fred Golan, Rémi Aubuchon and Ingrid Escajeda.

#rebecca ferguson #interview #silo apple tv #silo #wool #silo spoilers

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utilitycaster · 1 year

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1/4 I want to preface this by saying that I'm not looking to convince you, nor do I expect you to agree. In fact, I'd like to hear a counterargument from somebody who is happy with how TLoVM adapted Vex and why the changes related to her character were good/necessary for the adaptation, bc as far as I see it right now, it easily could've been more faithful without additional screen time or significant changes made to TLoVM's story structure. So, what do you think of the criticism that her

2/4 backstory with Trinket is diluted by making her needing to be saved by Vax, him being the one to kill Trinket's mother and Vex reduced to just being helpless and then motherly afterwards. It takes what was originally a story about survival of a woman in terrible conditions and doing something kind along the way for someone else and turns it into motherly damsel in distress. The important character choice that she never even tells Vax (or anyone) how she got Trinket is also lost this way.

3/4 "Unproven ally, selfish and cruel" being cut from Saundor's speech when it affected her just as much, if not more so than "unwanted daughter". His words haunt her for over a dozen episodes later and she's worried she made the wrong choice during the fight by refusing his offer. It troubles her thinking that he was right and that she's endangering those she loves most, the family that she's chosen, and it's simply cut and reduced to her daddy issues. Her self-worth only revolves around the

4/4 men in her life. Her death isn't about her, only about how it affects Percy and Vax. Percy never apologizes to her for getting her killed, but he apologizes to Vax twice. She's never her own person with agency outside the men in her life, just a sister, just a love interest, just a daughter.

-----

I am going to answer this below. Against my better judgement I have included your four part ask in its entirety but for future reference, I would advise that if you wish to hear someone’s opinion, that’s fine, but it is better to ask it concisely rather than doing the equivalent of nailing a somewhat less antisemitic* 95 Theses to someone’s metaphorical door. Had you asked your original anon question as “I am not enjoying Vex’s plot in TLOVM- it feels very centered on the men in her life in a way I don’t recall it being in Campaign 1. You seem to be enjoying it, so could you tell me what you liked” this would be a much different and far more pleasant conversation.

Also I should note that you called me dumb and gullible in your ask this morning. And that’s fine, because I don’t know who you are or value any of your opinions, but it does make me disinclined to treat you with anything but bemused contempt, and indeed, I will do that.

Finally: gender and pronouns are not strictly connected and if you are a he/him lesbian or similar I redact this statement (though none of the others). But, if you are a indeed a man, as a woman being asked to give my opinion after you tell me yours, at length, which I did not ask for and indeed indicated that I hated it yet you reproduced it in full for a second time in my inbox, the irony of you handwringing that Vex (fictional woman)’s plot isn’t very Spice Girls Girl Power of them while insulting and making demands of me (actual human woman who exists and who’s already hinted extensively to the point of outright saying that I’m getting pissed off) is not lost.

*this post is not antisemitic other than the fact that I’m Jewish and I find it annoying. Do not cancel OP for antisemitism; I am making a joke.

Anyway. If you were looking for a good counterargument, and had the research skills my high school librarian taught, you might have come across this article which is a very good discussion of Vex’s arc, and I recommend you read it.

For my take, please see below the cut.

Here’s the thing about Vex. Her main relationships are with men. She is frequently bitchy, at times bordering on bullying, towards Keyleth - and it’s at its peak during the early Conclave Arc. She gets along well with Pike, but Pike is frequently absent during the campaign, and more importantly, friends are not going to reach the level of “twin brother who has literally been the only person by her side for much of her life and her sole confidant early in the campaign” and “man she’s deeply in love with and will one day marry." Her issues, meanwhile, are because her father treated her as less-than, and so she tried to become cold and perfect and powerful to ensure that never happened. Her story is extremely about how her personality is shaped by her relationships with men. It is dismissive of that story to claim otherwise. (And, for what it's worth, this is a very real story that many women can relate to and which frequently gets criticized in fantasy by people with a poor understanding of both women and genre, my two true passions, but that's a separate post.)

As for the Trinket story specifically, the fact that Vax helps rescue her is not the central part of the story; the central part of that story is her rescuing Trinket, and perhaps seeing herself in that motherless bear, which is maintained in the adaptation. We see Vex’s self-sufficiency elsewhere, in the “do not go far from me” sequence; but more importantly it’s not a “dilution” to have her need help to be rescued from a camp and then immediately rescue someone else. It’s in fact a fairly smart echo of the lesson Vex ultimately strives to learn, that it’s not weak to need or indeed ask for help. The fact that you see this as “motherly damsel in distress” says far more about how you see even the slightest hint of a teenage girl needing help as automatic damsel territory than it says about Vex’s depiction.

“Unproven ally, selfish and cruel” is something I’ve always considered to be specific to the broom incident. How is she an unproven ally in the series? This would require a setup that simply does not exist. Saundor’s words instead focus on what is ultimately the crux of their conversation; Vex’s possessiveness and her need for approval. He is intended as a dark mirror, of someone who never got the love they craved and so became a source of poison for everything around them. Saundor says quite a lot of words in their talk in Campaign 1, and as far as I can recall there’s no indication that those five you quoted are the specific ones that upset her rather than his whole “we’re not so different, you and I” (and the “unwanted daughter”, which, you know, he leads with) deal. He still hits those main points, and, in a hilariously unintentional pun, it seems that you cannot see the forest for the tree.

And as for her death: her death was always primarily about how it affected Vax and Percy, at least in the immediate aftermath. We see some of her recklessness, and some of the positives as well - how she responds to Keyleth and Vax’s relationship - in the show, but perhaps the single most defining moment of the entire Vox Machina campaign is in fact Vax making his offer to the Raven Queen, which he does because Vex dies. It is, in fact, relatively rare under any circumstances that someone’s death isn’t about their nearest and dearest’s responses. The Percy and Vax conversation is not only quite similar to the one they had in the campaign; we actually left off the part where Vex’s immediate response after her own death was to make Keyleth cry in order to understand why Vax was being weird, and then comfort Vax and give him the armor. With all due respect, how the fuck did you miss that Vex’s death in the Sunken Tomb was always almost entirely about Vax. I mean, I can't stand when people make Vex's life post-campaign about Vax's death, but Vax's life was in fact shaped almost entirely by Vex's death.

I don’t see any lack of agency, either. Vex is still making her own choices in the Feywild - in fact, rather than backed up by Vox Machina, she is alone for the Saundor fight while the others fight off his lesser tree goons, and she makes the kill despite her bow being broken, using nothing but her determination and wit. I am truly sorry for you that you apparently see this as nothing but love interest material, and that in general you seem to see a story that is about someone learning how to let herself rely on others and say “damn, that bitch seems to be relying too much on others.”

Anyway, in conclusion, what I think of the criticism presented in the posing of this question is that it relies on an analysis that one could perhaps magnanimously call “flat and superficial, but also demonstrating little to no understanding of the character’s arc in either the source nor adaptation.”

#answered #megalvrubikon #tlovm spoilers #cr tag #long post

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elephant-in-the-pride-parade · 2 months

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Can I pick three?

14, 3, and 4 😊

Thank you for the asks!!!

3. How would you describe your writing style?

A runaway circus train. 😆 it purportedly has routes and scheduled stops and dedicated professional acts. but it keeps picking up new performers, new animals, pop up shows and sight seeing tours. It puts on a great show but it goes nowhere quickly.

4. Do you have any OCs? Do you have a story for them?

Hehe *twirls hair* I have a few next gens for each series I've written a big work for. Only a few have gotten to come out and play in a fic yet. I'll elaborate if you like but I know next gen babies are kinda boring to most people so I wont go diving into those 😅 And lots of characters that arent *strictly* OCs like theyre in canon for an episode, I just wanna keep them around.

I do have one idea for an OC adult is a Dominion war refugee - either an escaped prisoner or just a civilian who wound up running the wrong way.

They wind up in the Delta Quadrant via unstable wormhole or Borg intervention and of course into Voyagers path (still workshopping this). And they wind up on the ship in Season 5. Its a time period after Voyager finds out about the war beginning (and the Maquis being destroyed) but before they get contact with home again. So I think this non Starfleet person could be a really interesting window into whats going on at home and also a good foil to the Voyagers, who might need an outsider to show them there is a lot to enjoy about their situation.

I'm not sure what role she'd play on the ship yet but I do want her to be a Betazoid because Voyager would have been more fun with more telepaths.

14. Write and share the first sentence of a new fic.

for @divinemissem13

"Her feet still ached from the last performance as she ascended up to the highwire, hours after she should have been abed; not even Tom would think to find her up here."

#asks

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eliza1911o1 · 1 year

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The Apostate s3 meta pt. 1

I think one of the reasons the initiation scene at the beginning of Chapter 17 feels like a flashback of Din is because, based on previous episodes, we’re assuming the show will start with Din, The Mandalorian. We’re an audience to his story and each season has begun by allowing us to get acquainted with and follow his narrative. But, instead, in Chapter 17 we take the role of an outsider, because Din is an outsider.

Din is no longer a Mandalorian, so the show finds itself in a paradox: if Din is no longer a Mandalorian, is the show still about him? If the show is still about him, must he be a Mandalorian?

Chapter 17 confirms the latter, so now we face the same question Din is now faced with: What is a Mandalorian?

In the beginning, Din Djarin appears to be the epitome of a Mandalorian. Up until the end of s1, Din's name is simply Mando or The Mandalorian. Unlike others such as Boba Fett or Paz Visla, his armor is very plain. Though we understand he had a different family once, he no longer has any connections outside of the tribe. Never having taken off his helmet in front of others, he is incredibly loyal to the creed, as if its word is law and apathetic to external events. His skills are basic to survival, encompassing combat, machinery, and navigation and he appears to have minimal preferences as he serves his life as a bounty hunter.

A template for the mysterious culture, Din's entire personal identity was attached to the concept of a Mandalorian, which appears to transcend religion or race as law. As a foundling and Child of the Watch, Din has not known anything other than the orthodox Mandalorian ways since he was a child (I'm not guessing an age cause I suck at that okay) and since we are following Din, that is all we know. In following the show, I assume we utilize his definition of a Mandalorian as our own, since he is our only source of knowledge on the subject, disregarding other media, and we are subject to his views. Therefore, Mandalorians appear to be defined by a strict creed and only by abiding by these rules are you considered a Mandalorian.

Then the rules don't seem so absolute

First, Din begins to challenge the Guild Code by asking after Grogu before breaking it altogether with his rescue of the child. He starts asking about the world, like what a jedi is, which leads to asking questions about his own culture. This culminates in the s1 finale where finally he finally challenges the boundaries of these laws, in part due to IG-11. Throughout s1, IG-11 is the clearest example of his shaken worldview, which was as simple as all droids are bad. In realizing a hunter droid could become a nursing droid -- reprogrammed -- he realizes things aren't so black and white. Up until this moment, Din would rather die than betray the creed, but the absolutes dissolve and a new grey area appears where no, he can never take off his helmet in front of another person except droids aren't a person. Maybe he was too concussed, maybe he didn't want to die, maybe he wanted to see Grogu -- the fact remains that Din removed his helmet and a new addendum has been created, which in and of itself had been previously unthinkable.

In his search for other Mandalorians, Din continues to struggle with laws that don't seem so unshakable. With Cobb Vanth, he recognizes that others can don the armor, though his perspective doesn't exactly shift until meeting Boba Fett. Though it doesn't outright change (Din again insists that Boba can't wear the armor if he isn't a Mandalorian), he creates another exception: though Boba isn't a Mandalorian, the armor belonged to his father, who was one, so he has a right to wear it. His definition of a Mandalorian is complicated further with Bo-Katan and her group, who not only desecrate the creed (and remove their helmets), but simultaneously have more right to the title, coming from, essentially, royalty and having extensive knowledge on their culture. They even renounce his conception of a Mandalorian as based on a variant, warped version of the truth.

Din's absolute definition, as well as the audience's definition, begins to crack, and when confronting the Imperial base on Morak, Mayfield directly addresses this internal conflict. Din not only changes into a storm trooper helmet, but subsequently takes off his helmet to access a terminal before sitting through an entire conversation with his face completely exposed. In the s2 finale, he again removes his helmet when saying goodbye to Grogu.

The instances Din willingly removes his helmet are a decision centered on the fact that something (someone) is more important than the creed.

These matters are not of life or death, nor are they even about him; remember in s1, Din would rather die than remove break the creed. Though Din has not addressed his changing values until now, when he decides to allow the terminal to scan his face, he consciously acknowledges the shift. He has come to realize that "rules start to change when you get desperate;" he knows Grogu's presence has altered his worldview. From the start, Grogu was the reason he broke the Guild Code and during Chapter 12, Din even partially removes his himself when eating in the presence of Grogu.

Din clearly does not think the creed is absolute, shown by the changes in Din's interpretation of the helmet rule:

Can't take off his helmet in front of someone else (Chapter 4)

Can't take off his helmet in front of living things (Chapter 8)

Can't show his face to other living things (Chapter 15)

However, although he accepts this change in values, Din still appears unwilling to face the fact that his interpretation of the creed is changing as well, though we, the audience, can sense it.

Din Djarin is still the Mandalorian, but what it means to be a Mandalorian is changing

#the mandalorian season 3 #mandalorians #mandalorian and grogu #mandalorian #mandalore #mandalorian meta #the mandalorian #din and grogu #din djarin #grogu #mando #mando and grogu #mand

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reaperkaneki · 1 month

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ok here are my Thoughts on gin noto

under cut bc it got long lol

first off, he is very strong representation. as in, i think this might be the platonic ideal of a transmasc character. which has its good points and bad.

sweet-p’s arc was rooted in some obviously transphobic jokes/points/etc but at its core, her arc felt well-intentioned and overall she was definitely portrayed as one of the most sympathetic of the musicians (who are antagonists but certainly not outright villains, which the musician route makes abundantly clear). she also is not, like, described as trans per se, mostly as a crossdresser who loves cute things and wishes she were a cute girl (so like, she’s trans) and honestly her arc is about self-image and body dysmorphia in general (weight and age and outside perception are all major factors). and that’s what sets her apart from gin, gin is very much about Gender Dysphoria And Conforming To Societal Gender Roles first and foremost.

unlike sweet-p’s writing, gin’s doesn’t have any overt flaws to point to, which is why i had to mull it over for a while to figure out what was missing, and i think it’s because it is very much aimed at a cis audience. the narrative itself is perfectly fine, it’s the meta-narrative that bothers me.

when gin confesses that irl, he was assigned female at birth and presents as female in his day-to-day life, and asks the player, does this change anything, there is a right answer and a wrong answer. the wrong answer is to tell him that you don’t care what gender he is, it doesn’t change anything at all; gin perceives this as a half-assed, dismissive response said without thinking and becomes upset and it locks you out of the rest of his character episodes. the correct answer is to tell him that you don’t know, you’re not sure. maybe it does change things between the two of you. gin feels that this is a understandable position to take, like, of course it might be a big deal, it certainly feels like a big deal to him!

and yes, to someone who hasn’t encountered a trans person before, that’s probably a reasonable response. to me, specifically, a fellow transmasc person, i think i sorta laughed at this part because, like, the only thing that would change if a coworker or friend or whatever told me that they were actually stealth trans this whole time (and that’s being generous bc gin is Not Slick lmfao the foreshadowing for him being trans is super obvious to anyone who knows) i’d be like cool! love that for you. etc etc. bc transgenderism is Normal to me.

but the game assumes You Are A Cis Person Who Isn’t Sure How To React To Trans People. the game doesn’t let you be trans. there’s not a nonbinary option, despite having a cyborg for an antagonist and, more egregiously, a canonically nonbinary character in your party. (i’d say pronouns, but that’s not quite the same in japanese.) not that i was expecting that to be possible, but it is a clear separation of gameplay and story that hinders roleplay (in an rpg where your character’s backstory is almost completely undefined)!

this is not to say that gin is poorly written. like i said, he’s like the platonic ideal of representation. he’s easy to clock specifically because his experiences ring true; he’s always, always, always overcompensating and posturing “as a man”, he’s trying to conform to his own personal image of “what men do”, “how guy friendships work”, “what guys are interested in”. when asked why he gets along with women so well, he lies and says it’s because he has an, uh, older sister! so he’s spent a lot of time around women! he dresses trendy, but not too fashionably (because that’s feminine, he’s function over form allegedly), and the cut of his clothes is soooo. well. the silhouette is masculinizing, or at least androgynous, let’s say. he even wishes he were taller.

i’m pretty sure i’ve done most of those things. this is writing that either speaks from experience or understands the prompt and has done the goddamn research.

it is, however, very, VERY cool that he actually turns out to Not Be A Man, at least in the sense he’s always wanted to be. REALLY good nonbinary arc that i wish wasn’t constrained to, like, the last two character episodes. it’s the one interesting ‘twist’, and i love that it explains a lot of things about him! when he talks about working as a woman irl and busting his ass in heels, he sounds proud, even as he admits that presenting female always made him uncomfortable. and lo and behold, his catharsis effect sports a pair of gold heels! if he was just a hypermasculine trans man, that would be super uncomfortable, as if it were some sort of transphobic indicator of his ‘true self’ being feminine. but no, it’s because he’s hiding that aspect of himself. he repressed his masculine tendencies to conform to social norms, and then inadvertently did the same to his feminine side, but both are important. he likes the heels.

i also like that he’s bi and acknowledges that his relationships never worked out bc he hadn’t figured out his shit yet. it do be like that sometimes.

unfortunately, i think he’s also kind of boring? like, besides her wanting to be a cute girl, sweet-p had other stuff going on, she had that boke/tsukkomi routine with stork, she had a genuine love for yume-kawaii (whereas while gin has many interests, a not-insignificant part of those interests is male posturing), she was even a musician! i understand that gin’s blandness is On Purpose because he dislikes rocking the boat (but he hates posers, which was a genuinely interesting reaction from him that didn’t feature as strongly in his arc as i wanted. even kiriko comments on it), but doesn’t change the fact that he ain’t weird enough! can’t even be an only sane man bc he goes along with everyone’s bs lol

anyway gin is cool and well-written as a trans character but missing a bit otherwise. i’d still definitely love to hang out and get beef bowls and boba with him :)

#im tired as shit from work so like this is rambly nonsense rather than well-written analysis #but yeah. caligula effect good #caligula effect 2 spoilers #i guess. its below a read more.#this post is for like No one but me and janelle #niche jrpgs my beloved…. niche hrpgs can save me i know it

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