#its actually such a great app

[swagging-back-to]

me literally planning out every sim and every single house and every room bc i miss playing the sims so so so bad

#i got a mobile floorplanner #wowie #its actually such a great app #ill post ss in a minute #but like im going through and like desiging the rooms and like where i want paintings and shit bc im just... #i miss it #i wont he able to play it for at least another month and a half :/ #but!!! plus side #when i move closer to the city I'll be able to go buy a laptop from a store and avoid shipping fees! #or at the very least it wont take as long to get to me bc i live out in buttfuck nowhere

[networksupported]

@sorceryparable (continued)

> not that i blame your guy. i would also hate to be in here if i didn't have to.

he manages a sort of reedy whine- and, in true cas fashion (or perhaps true cat fashion, it was hard to distinguish the two) looks incorrigibly proud of himself for it.

> then again, whoever 'she' is- uh- i don't wanna know her either. whoever gets that amount of stress put on their pronouns is not someone id wanna...you know, meet in a dark alley. not that there's any of those around. don't wanna run into her in the employee lounge, if you get my drift- no, that doesn't have nearly the same ring to it.

> whoever 'she' is sounds scary as fuck. there we go. that's what i'm tryna say.

the next three notes are almost a scale- and, failing that only slightly, are not...wholly horrible to hear.

> oh, god. well, telling you now, 'pleasant' and 'musical' are not words ever used to describe me. so. sorry. in advance. um.

more by luck then judgement, he almost manages to harmonise with batt for a whole four seconds. that, or he simply excels at also playing with no real key or signature to follow. probably a mixture of both.

#:CONTINUE: #sorceryparable #thumbs up emoji oh its going so great #apologies for the fact this is on a new post #thats totally for trimming purposes #and not because i messed up the whole app somehow #gotta love tumblr #im great with tech i swear #the post editor kept not letting me..edit...the post and eventually i got too mad at it #its almost my birthday im not spending that fighting with tumblr rghh #im probably actually queuing this to send after midnight #so bam it IS my birthday at least by the point you're reading this #sick #take that #sorry you didnt need to read any of this #i just love to ramble #sure you know that about me now #this is why i adore footnotes like yess girl keep talking go on #sorry SORRY ill shut up now lmao

[pelman]

please reblog for larger sample size!

#music #music poll #poll #spotify #soundcloud #bandcamp #youtube #i am 1000% a bandcamp person myself. the actual site/app format is great and i love supporting indie artists #if im listening to non-indie music its youtube. sometimes i am forced to use soundcloud but thats okay

[sea-buns]

my files for steam are literally so fucked idk how this happened. speaking as someone who doesn't know what the fuck they're doing,,, gonna just uninstall everything having to do with steam? and then reinstall from scratch? steam please have mercy?

#i just wanna be ready for the sv 1.6 update is that too much to ask #steam like kept a shortcut file but deleted the app i guess? so i couldnt actually play anything #and then when it uninstalled it left files behind? so when i go to reinstall its saying the destination folder needs to be empty? #idk what im doing but its not great #sea rambles

[lotussokka]

Tagged by @kittlyns (back in march lol) to share my lock screen, last song played, and last picture saved

it didnt specify how many people to tag so im going to tag 10 people bc kittlyn tagged me on my blog's 10th anniversary: @girlwwx @rudiecantfail @yokoyas @glitteratti @booksnbarricades @sonyachni @ettelwenailinon @smiliestboye @sisyphuslnabyss and @hopefulqueer

#i found this it in my activity and i knew i would never have a better last photo than i do at this moment in time #(well the actual most recent photo is just a png of the 2 lime green Xs that i separated out to make future versions of this easier) #the context of the meme is talking about songs being stuck in my head‚ not my general feelings toward them #and its about the great comet of 1813.mp3 not the entirety of great comet #also the pallas cat represents me bc my discord profile is that photo #you dont care #tag games #if you saw this on discord… um hello?? im trying to keep these 2 identities /Vaguely/ separate so pls like… dont share this blog over there #but youre welcome to stay and look around at... my 10 years of complaining and oversharing in the notes 😬 #for the people i tagged: i chose you bc youre all people that i interact with/have interacted with in the past #thank you for being here. you obviously dont have to do this if you dont want to! #sorry im never on here anymore its bc i access ao3 through the tumblr app rather than a regular mobile browser so i cant really use mobile #and my internet makes it difficult to use tumblr on desktop #not me being like 'damn i cant believe NONE of them saw this yet' only to realize its been in my drafts for 3hrs #since i wrote this up i listened to zayn's leaked demo 'hurt' but im not updating this now #partially bc the idea of writing the alt text for the album cover i made makes me irrationally nervous

[olivegardenhunter]

uhhhh cw? I talk about adhd struggles

the worst part about getting diagnosed with adhd is needing to come to terms that this is actually a real disability that I have that does affect basically every aspect of my life. it's fun to laugh along to adhd jokes and relatable content and think haha sorry my adhd makes me a lil funny silly guy sometimes. but. at the end of the day. this is a disability. and one I live with. and one that gets debilitating some days. and one that very much fucks up with my life and my plans more than I'd like to admit. acknowledging and admitting that this is a real thing that very much gets in the way of my life and makes things that are easy for others so difficult for me. that's genuinely the hardest part. cause once you do? it's hard to not feel hopeless. or scorned. like you've been dealt an unfair hand. and cause when you admit that, then you also gotta admit that youre spending the rest of your life working doubly hard than everyone else. and there's nothing you can do about it.

#rant #misc #personal #adhd #sorry grad program apps and assignments and uni are all getting hard #someones asked me if i wish i dont have adhd because it makes up so much of my personality and who i am #and i guess they were expecting that like its a defining part of who i am that i wouldnt want to change #i laughed and said fucking absolutely i do #id give any money in the world to not have adhd #adhd is so normalised now which is great because thats how people know and learn and recognise #that's how i got diagnosed #but the thing with how normalised it is is that the genuine struggles that come with it kinda get overshadowed by the funny quirks #the more palatable traits y'know #and so its hard to be taken seriously these days about it #its hard getting people to treat it like a real disability #and its almost embarrassing needing to explain yourself like yeah i have adhd and yeah thats why this is happening #so yeah i absolutely wish i never had adhd #id give anything in the world not to have adhd #cause this shit sucks and its so debilitating and im never able to do what i actually want or think i can

[manwithoutaspleen]

more transition rambling

as upset as i sometimes get about not passing, i still love what transitioning is doing for/to my body so much. like i never get sick of seeing how hairy i’m getting, i’m impatient for more facial hair and so excited to have stubble and one side burn (and i would love for both side burns to come in.) my chest hair has started coming in the past few weeks and THATS been a thrill.

every time i hear myself singing and actually like how i sound? every time i laugh weird and sound like my brother, who i love so much? every time i see a friend for the first time in awhile

it’s just, life has been so hard for like, a year and a half now, and while i do think i’m finally on the upswing, there’s a lot of new trauma to deal with. but one thing i’ve learned from all this is how to take care of myself so, so well. i can love and care for myself now in ways i never imagined being possible. and having a body that actually brings me joy makes that so much easier.

and like, it’s especially resonant to have a body that actually brings JOY when i’ve had chronic pain since i was 12. when this all started because i got a new disability. my body can do less and hurts more and i still love it more. its harder to care for, but i’m trying harder.

transitioning has saved my life in SO many ways i could not be more grateful that i finally did it

#separate ramble for the tags: #i deactivated my twitter for a day and realized i could just. not bring it back #and so i didnt! and while i will pop in occasionally so i dont lose it permanently and to check in w people and there and such #it is kinda nice. its also very weird #i also deleted the tumblr app #so i cant just like share every random thought i have with the internet #and i WANT to so badly i am so used to it lmao #but i think practicing being more intentional about what i share online and like breaking that habit of tweeting everything is good for me #even if its not permanent #but hell it might be! #i havent done a great job on breaking the scrolling habit bc i still have instagram for my sibling gc lmao #but reels are. way less engaging than twitter so. #reflecting on it though has made me realize like my memory is so bad and one reason i tweet so much is literally as a Record #but its like alright well maybe a Journal would be Better #and accepting that its ok to forget random thoughts i do not need to preserve every little idea i have #reflecting on internet habits on the internet is very online i admit #but i dont mind being online im just trying to find a way to do so that doesnt break my brain so bad #which is why this is on my mind rn bc like i do genuinely enjoy doing a little blog every so often lmao #might branch out and start actually blogging/writing about my interests too

[gifti3]

#welcome to my (attempts at) dating series #i downloaded a new app called taimi #i thought this was a queer app why is it swarming with cishet men 🥹 #brightside is that im actually seeing ppl that peak my interests #its a handful among a lake but #thats more than every other dating app ive used so far! #i also get WAY more likes here (but thats cause ppl just wanna smash so its only a partial positive rip) #other than that everything else is not great #paywalls and limits and bad ui #but i hope i can find some ppl #friends at least #itll be good #The dating sims make me wanna BELIEVE #I WANNA BELIEVE HAHAHA #..please?

[gatheringkeepsakes]

Ngl... Tumblr's For You page has actually gotten better.

#sometimes it recommends posts ive very recently reblogged #but mostly its stuff from people i follow that i missed #or things actually relevant to recent interests #great to be able to scroll endlessly for what feels like the first time in a while #but bad also for that reason cause its harder to close the app now

[snekdood]

saw a post yesterday that was like "if you dont have trans women as friends u gotta think about why that is" and i really had to restrain myself from saying "it goes both ways my friend!". if you dont have any trans men as friends, ya gotta think about why that is also!

#personally? i dont choose my friends based on which minority category they belong to. #also im not out here going to 'trans group meetings' or whatever tf either. whoevers my friend is ppl who actually come into my life #who i actually get the chance to see and meet. consider: i havent actually met that many trans women irl at all. #i havent even met that many trans ppl irl at all in general- most of the trans ppl i DO happen across are NB #and i dont like making close friends online esp tumblr bc i dont trust none a yall #there are like two trans women i know that i met through someone else and 1 of them i literally just met and the other.......... based on #my interactions with her- i dont think we'd make great close friends. #acquaintances? sure. im mean thats kinda unavoidable at this point anyways. #the biggest issue is i havent met any trans women i think i'd actually click with- but thats a little unfair bc its hard to find friends #to begin with anyways let alone a trans woman specifically- if you think i gotta be out here hunting for trans women to be friends with to #fulfill your woke quota you got a weird fuckin world view on how friendships and the world in general works. #i dont make friends based on their transness or whatever tf thats fuckin weird. #theres a lot of trans women i follow online that i think i'd make great friends with- but the fact there aren't that many trans women #in general and the only ones i think i'd actually click with are ppl ill likely never meet irl? yeah i dont rly think its my #fault bud its kinda just the circumstance of life in general- there's just not a lot of trans people out there. #and no im not going to trans meetings bc that shit is usually toxic as hell anyways bye #new dating type of app but for looking for trans friends to make tumblr user buttfaceass happy about my choices #maybe if i lived in cali w my gay uncle i'd meet more but alas i live in missoura' and i dont blame trans women for wanting to hide #more here. shit i mean i do. #in total? irl? ive only met like 4 trans women. one of which im p sure is actually transfem and doesnt even live in my state #she and another one were part of a toxic abusive ass friend group and i really dont think im missing out on much. #so yeah what- you want me to try to befriend them again? bc im p sure my abuser filled their brains w bullshit about me so. #kinda not waiting on them to come around ever. #like im not exactly sure what that post wants me to do besides idk. act like the op of it? #go to toxic ass irl trans group meetings and befriend random ppl online who have no concept of friendship loyalty? yeah ill pass bud #actually actuall wait scratch that- i did know another trans woman--- she mightve been transfem too- but we met on discord #and primarily interacted there bc it was like a friendgroup discord and i think we were good enough friends we just never got super close #mostly bc im weary of queer friend groups that are predominately white and also i felt like that friendgroup only kept me around #to make fun of me. i dont think she was like that but.... the other ppl in it...... yeaaahhh... #so naturally we kinda stopped talking all together when i left the discord and stopped interacting w that friend group

[andragoras-in-vanity]

my head hurts, im bleeding still (more so than before i called ny clinic), im so stressed i want to cry cause i have no support and so much to do and all i want is my person cause everyone is in christmas mode and i cant handle this time of year alone again

#i never leave the house becuase its too exhausting and painful so i never get the chance to meet people #and theres nothing to do here and i swear this is the city of the worlds ugliest men anyway #so theres no reason to leave #and i cant use dating apps cause im trans and the only one thats actually decent to trans people isnt popular #and again some of yall are just the most boring people alive id rather kill myself than subject myself to that #like genuinely i cant fathom how these people are so average and so ugly all at once and all seem to have the same personality #like great okay i like dnd too but why is it your only personality trait #maybe your life isnt as empty as mine but its definitely not interesting either #like...i just want my one person #at this point thats all i want in life anyway cause nothing else is worth the effort #and instead i have to watch so many ungrateful people get what i desperately need #honestly do aby of you know what its like to have no idea when the next time if youll get to kiss someone? #youll get to like someone enough to want to? #but have no idea if or when itll happen when every atom of you feel likes its being ripped apart from want and need and #a history that hates you and your own body being unreliable and in pain? #i want to throw up over it all i cant do this any more and im sick to death of all of you who brag about shit you dont deserve #you had your taste of goodness sit down shut the fuck up and let some of the rest of us whove never had anything get a taste too

[4giorno]

baldies gate is very difficult

#its so confusing LMAO at least for me who knows next to nothing abt dnd #i dont understand how spells work and im getting stressed bc idk if quests rlly disappear if i dont complete them fast enough #but also i read that once you beat the main story its joever so maybe i should explore more but i feel like my character is wasting time #and is gonna die the next second if i dont progress the main story ⚰️ the green lady is doing a great job hammering that into my brain #anyway i cant take screenshots of my character bc my tv has fucked up colors and i made the character and guardian based on them #so when i look at a screenshot on the ps app and the colors are different im like '........ that is not my beautiful boy!!!!!' #like it rlly bothers me. anyway i chose a bard of course. very basic and again idk how to play so its all a mess hdjdjdjd #im hoping i figure it out soon bc it is such a cool game. just wish i understood anything </3 #i love my character tho im very invested in his story. maybe i shouldve made my first character the 'goody two shoes' type #to make it easier LMAO #but as ive said before i rlly need to get myself out of my comfort zone when it comes to games #i didnt wanna just breeze past the game but actually consider my decisions. turns out its exhausting lmaooo #anyway sorry im rambling i like the game but im just dumb and stress out over things that dont matter way too easily

[zhuhongs]

oh noninonononóooo

#dating apps give me the ick they give me the ickkkkk #also like given my weird judginess ik if it was up to me on a curated profile alone i will only go after ppl v similar to myself and that is #short sighted and a bad idea. and. yeaaa. too many white lesbians that kiss like fish on instagram yk the vibe like noooo thank uuuu #theyre all great ppl im sure but not for me #and then like. idk the whole sexuality thing where like. i mean i get crushes on men and like men occasionally #but like. no. the idea of ever being with a man feels disgusting and its nit me. like my one attempt at dating a man (that identified as #male at the time i met them at least) broke up with me bc he did not think i actually liked men i was just in a bad spot mentally so i dated #him. and like. I'm too scared to say what i like for myself so its almost like im waiting on permission from enough ppl to say that im a #lesbian in order to actually feel like one. and i most likely am. but i crave validation from men in a very specific way. not romantically #and def not sexually. i just want to be acknowledged bc i grew up in a heteronormative patriarchial world and to be seen as a man and #acknowledged by men is smth ive been taught to crave in order to feel secure and independent bc being a 'girl' is inferior in the eyes of #society and like. sage u need to liberate urself from all of that and yea. dating apps not for me. i will just meet someone somewhere #somehow #ok gn i have work at 7am

[kayzero]

tumblr i swear to all that is holy if you don’t get rid of the giant and intrusive and distracting button in the corner that doesn’t even fucking work i will punch a baby.

#tumblr #tumblr ui #tumblr’s shit decision making #and no i am not saying that if the button actually worked it would be okay to SUDDENLY HAVE A GIANT BUTTON TAKING UP A QUARTER OF THE SCREEN #sitting at my computer for hours on end makes my body ache #i do basically everything on my phone #browsing tumblr falls under ‘basically everything’ #i will not start using tumblr on the website on my phone. i will simply Drop Tumblr. #like i dropped reddit when apollo announced its discontinuation #the app was good! great even! and then twelve hours ago TEEF #i can’t turn auto-updates off because i will forget to update my important apps until it’s too late #auto-update should be a useful accessibility feature. not a liability. #mumble grumble.

[protectcosette]

fuck this venus retrograde is gonna make me INSUFFERABLE

#pre retrograde shadow period hit and i figured out what my type is. started using dating apps again. actually started talking to people #..instead of just swiping & never saying anything to matches. i've gone on two dates in two weeks. I'm talking to multiple people at once. #and its not even like. a confidence boost that i'm getting from being aware of what's going on with the planets!! #i usually just pay attention to the sign the sun & moon are in. sometimes mercury. i just found out about venus going rx a couple days ago #certified protectcosette original #astrology #anyway. i had a great time on my date yesterday and TODAY the most gorgeous butch on bumble dm'd me back after i'd given up on them

[cryptoseraphim]

i love being single <33

#eden speaks #i have impossible standards and high expectations and i over romanticize the concept of love #and ive come to realize since i ended my last realtionship that i really like being single #i love it actually and i dont know if thats shitty to say?? im just glad that its just me yknow #i can be a great friend but the emotional support and availability needed to have a partner is too much for me #im sure ill meet the right person one day at least one can hope but for now im really content with where im at #i dont want go on dates or get a dating app or something #and theres nothing wrong with it if thats something someone does want to do #but its not for me and i also dont think i can handle the heartbreak of falling for someone only for things not to work out #i cant do that im not strong enough #if my love isnt like the ones in a studio ghibli film then i do not want it #sorry for posting so much today yall are probably sick of my ass lmao i appreciate my mutuals who deal with my bullshit #no one i know personally follows me on here so i use this blog as like a personal diary #i might make a side blog for daily writings and keep this one reblogs and occasional posts #anyways ive derailed lmao