#its a stressful time 🙃

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

Putting in my two week's notice tomorrow!!!!!!!

#i am so fucking excited to finally be done with this place #it feels kinda weird tho #ive been at this job for almost three years. two months less than ive been dating my gf #and now im just leaving. never to return. breaking up with my long term job #and then the worst of the move starts (im in the process of moving which is why im leaving my job) #may 18 is my last day. may 19 i have to bring sll of my belongings to my parents house #may 20 i have to go to a week long training for camp #then im gonna spend two weeks living with my parents. work at camp for two months #then days after thats done im going to move twelve hours away. to a city ive never been to before #this is gonna be a jam packed fucking few months and im not looking forwards to ir #i have two weeks to shrink and pack up my entire life. and clean my apartment #its a stressful time 🙃 #but it's fine #i get to leave this fucking job. im happy and sad about it. but mostly happy #wish me luck. and motivation. i need the motivation to do all of this #i dont have any motivation and its going to be my downfall

[heavywithplot]

leslie (glasses, he/they) and andy (tall, he/they)!

the story they’re in is an overdramatic mafia plot, leslie is the guy who does the bookkeeping lmao

#mpreg #they're both asian! because im asian! i like asian gangster movies! #im incapable of knocking up ocs unless i have a plot to make it interesting 😔 #their relationship is not over dramatic except for the fact that andy is always a little stressed out all the time about leslie #and for un exciting reasons. leslie is the kind of guy who's always had a sensitive stomach so both of them mistake morning sickness #for that except its Worse because leslie kind of stops eating entirely and andy is like 🙃 bro I've been trying to feed you right for 10 #years and in return you are taking YEARSSSSS of my life #(i mean later there are dramatics. what's more fun than going into labor at the worst possible time u know!! the usual #mafia plot drama on top of all that too)

[akkivee]

a hell quiz ffr

#this is vee speaking #it took me three tries lol #the first time i ran out the clock waiting for music to play LOL #the second time the webpage crashed as i got to song 90 🙃 #i wanted to give up then but decided to be stubborn lol #AND I TOTALLY COULD HAVE GOTTEN 100% WHAT DO YOU MEAN ITS AT NOT IN #AND SINCE WHEN IS IT AND LIKE ACTUAL AND???????????? #the last song i missed i literally had the correct title except the number i wanna cry lmao #i’m also a very slow typer lol!!!!! i rely a lot on autosuggest to finish my words so i was so stressed with only 20 minutes 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #hellish quiz lol if it updates to include rhyme anima s2 i will not be participating lmao

[altruistic-meme]

yay we love adding an additional 15 stressors to an already stressed tf out person like yayyy whoopee that sure is fun :)

#im having a time ok #i already havd been super stressed about fucking everything #and now my parents are having me get my own insurance and phone plan and switiching the title of my car to my name #but theyre putting a lean on it which means if my car becomes unrepairable i will not be able to sell it or trade it in #to help cover the cost of buying a new car #especially bc my parents will be literally across the country 🙃 #and that on top of trying to decide if I'll be resigning my lease or moving #and i COULD move in with my sister and her gf but like #i mean that's also like a generally Good plan bc it'll cut my rent down by more than half what i pay now #but also from what my sister told me of the contract her gf is writing for it (in case i DO move in with them) #its like. heres a bunch of conditional stuff about your cats (including potentially not allowing them at all) #and conditional stuff about your health (????) as though I'm not fucking trying to work on that #as though I've not BEEN trying to work on it since i was fucking 12 years old #like is that. is that actually fucking NECESSARY? to include in this? like us in AWARE I've got health issues #I'm AWARE i have severe depression and anxiety #I'm TRYING to work on it but i ALSO just lost my healthcare and am trying to figure out the one my work provides #which also wont cover a whole lot and is not exactly like I'm dwimming in cash over here #anyway #ugh #shh ac #seriously shut up

[chibikinesis]

.

#life be giving me whiplash lately lmao #my banana boat is down again - an oil leak that shorted my starter 🙃 #stressful time of year because we're coming up on both dads birthday and one year since his passing just a few weeks later #but I also finally bit the bullet and fessed up to the dude ive had feelings for for a while now #totally set myself up for disappointment because thats just been what lifes been handing me for the last year and a half or so #but it actually went really fuckin' well #he was essentially in the same boat as me #definitely FEELING something but valuing the friendship so much that it crippled us both #we've both helped one another grow so much over the last year or so and sort of restored a bit of one anothwrs' faith in humanity #didnt wanna risk fuckin' that up #plus he just assumed I wouldn't feel that way #but yeah it went really well and I'm REALLY proud of myself for taking that leap of faith 🥹 #i told him I'm not expecting anything right out the gates #mostly just trying to open that dialog with him and to spend more time together #see where things go #met up in person to talk about it a bit today and be brought me a fuckin' bouquet 🥺😭 #this is some straight up 'mutual pining but they're idiots' shit 😂 #but its cute and im glad it ended up the way it did 💚 #AND I've already had the asexuality discussion with him so he knows and is entirely cool with it 🥹💚 #actually had that talk before feelings evem came into the equation

[dogbunni]

I have been on semi-haitus bc I recently got diagnosed with hypertension (at 24!!!! what da fuck!) so I've been trying to reduce some stress in my life while also trying to like figure out what I need to change diet/lifestyle wise and get all the testing done that I need to get done and figure out medication w my Dr. it's been kind of a lot

#im still SO stressed but that is because i suffer from shit life syndrome and there is little i can do about that #like im in pain all the time and also autistic and also my cat is terminally ill #and also i cant work because of the disabilities so im still living at home with my parents and idk what im going to do with my life #also living with my parents is a special kind of hell no offense to them but 🙃 #so the STRESS #i just realised that i was stressing a little about updating CTTD and i am NAUGHT going to worsen my health over fanfiction #so ive gone on an impromptu tumblr/ao3 haitus #idk when im going to be BACK back #but im still on here reblogging shit sometimes #just not rly making nendo headcanons or screaming in tags #i dont have the energy im SO stressed hahahahaha fuck #i have to get tested for diabetes??? #so my stepdad has been on my case about how much sugar i eat bc i always crave sugar #ive been trying to cut down like ive got zero sugar syrups for my (decaf!!!) coffees #and im trying to eat less chocolate #idk its hard man. my life already sucks and now my mundane little joys are slowly being cut out one by one #idk #anyways thats my life update! #saiki k fandom i love u all and i may not be active or in any of u guys notifs gushing about fan art or neno rn #but KNOW that i am still just as feral about it i am just half dead and so tired i am so sorry <3 #dogbunni diary log

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

#the burdent of not being understood. its annoying and i dont like it. also its my fault #because if u say something serious in a light tone ppl dont kno wtf to do. prob bc they dont kno if ur delusional or not and like dont #wanna upset u. but then its like annoying bc they still walk away worried and im like ok neither of us r happy bc u dont get how serious #thjs is but i cant tell u how serious it is without making u worried. and y should i make u worry if u can't fuckinf do anything abt it? #so its just annoying. which is to say i went to a retirement lunch today and it was as awkward as i imagined #bc it was me and my boss and a couple professors and i dont do well in these group situations anything so i spent a lotta time spaced out #not hearing anyone bc the noise in the room was messy and my brain was peeling away from my body. but whatever i was there. and my boss #drove us both and on the way back she started the. im worried abt u talk. which i feel like she was too hesitant abt it. which like i get #bc its awkward to bring up but like i dont give a fuck so idk i feel like u gotta start those conversations like. this is how watching u #makes me feel. idk whatever. and i was honest but like it was a 5min car ride so i didnt have thr time to be like ok heres the deal. ya #kno? so now im all annoyed bc my brain is fucking unbearable when i feel like i havent made my thoughts clear. and now its like. do i bring #it back up? or just let it go? whats to be gained by talking abt it? all that i have to say is upsetting bc im very aware im being self #destructive. thats the point. i get boried and my brain only lets me do like 2 things so i use those things to make myself insane. bc at #least then i can observe the symptoms of the stress im exherting on myself. and i kno that not good bc idk how to stop and ppl r always #like u gotta relax. what will help u relax? and im like u dont fucking understand. i cant regulate thr amount i like things. if i like #something i like it so much it becomes stressful. and i like drawing but its not relaxing. its a thing i have to do and its stressful bc im #constantly thinking abt making things perfect and never meeting thst mark. my happiest memories arent even happy moments theyre just times #where my brain stopped for a second and i could just breathe for a minute. so like i cant relax. i dont like anything a normal amount so #the solution must be medication. but my brain has decided im not allowed to fix this problem until i move away so like 🙃 and like i was #giving little bits of this in the car but its like lady i kno its a problem. ive known its a problem for years. the self awareness doesnt #help. except that it keeps me from doing anything extremely bad bc for me if i at least kno where it comes from i can b like ah yes. this #is fucking stupid lol. but i dunno how me sharing all this helps bc im sure it only raises the worry. but like its fine. i mean its not but #like ya kno. and i was kinda explaining how upsetting it is for me to have my schedule changed without warning even if its for things other #ppl would see as good and i wasnt thst firm abt it so it was: but i can't just do nothing for u! and i was like ugh fuck it fine whatever. #and like do i bring that back up bc it is like a respect my boundaries thing but like i feel like if i were anyone else it would be good #to drag someone out of their comfort zone but im being dragged into situations i find profoundly isolating bc i cant seem to function in #groups. ugh its just fucking annoying bc i dont want her to feel bad. i appreciate the effort but like ugh its exhausting. whatever. it was #anyway. im just annoyed thst i should have explained things better. also im annoyed thst i constantly forget most things taste bland and #then im annoyed when i hsve to eat bland things. i think my nose doesnt work right bc i csnt smell much either #unrelated

[guinevereslancelot]

not tired of being nice but i want to start biting people who aren't nice

#lady who caused a traffic accident called to yell at me bc i was nice and did not report her thus allowing her to go file a false report #so now she thinks she can scare me 🙃 #technically she did give me an anxiety attack but thats from the yelling and stress but she literally hit us while we were in park #and the parkinglot had security cameras so probably it will be easy to prove even tho she filed first #but she called to yell at me and straight up lie that we were flying around lol #and said like ten times that she called the police like i was supposed to get scared girl its a fender bender calm down perhaps #she is like a soccer mom but she's acting so immature lol #anyway she acted all normal and apologetic at the time so we didn't report it bc it was her fault so her rates would go up more #like obvs we didn't want ours to go up either but it would have been worse for her #clearly we should have tho bc trusting people gets u this #but i had an appointment to get to and didn't want to deal with it oof #anyway....free anxiety attack to make me wake up without caffeine..... #but now if i drink any i will get heart palpitations <3 #and if i dont i will get a headache <3 #this has been a shitpost #tumblr userbase ageing etc

[jvzebel-x]

🦋

#the eddie happened a couple days ago&i keep seeing footage of tourists almost getting dragged out into the ocean. #&-- this cannot be stressed enough-- i find this hilarious bc no one died&also bc i am inherently a bad person lmao. #but also bc like. this is an excellent example of WHY locals cannot fucking stand tourists lmao. #the eddie is a surf competition that is only held when the surf can match the height necessary for the competition. #like this is one of the most dangerous&prestigious surf competitions in the world. the lifeguards they have watching the beach #are seasoned pros who regularly drag ppl out of north shore riptides. which is a good thing bc despite all this #&despite all the lifeguard warnings&despite not one singular local being on the shore #tourists got swept up&there was a mad scramble that STOPPED THE COMPETITION bc they needed to drag whole families out the water. #several lifeguards almost died trying to save someones dog. #this competition is only held when waimea's waves cap 30ft-- they have cancelled the competition before bc #waves were smaller than anticipated. its specifically named to honour Eddie Aikau a surfer who died setting out to sea #to try to save the Hokulea the first time it went out sailing w/ no navigation equipment&got stuck in a calm belt. #all these facts together give me a headache when i think of how much more regulated this stupid competition is going to be #when there have NEVER been issues like this before mostly bc the eddie isnt usually announced so so many tourists show up. #ive never even gotten to GO ppl line up down the north shore for literally a day in advance to be able to see it happen. #chxjjsbxkxbjsxnajxnsj 🙃🙃🙃

[donttouchtheneednoggle]

i really need to go to bed but im just YELLINGG bc sometimes i will get executive dysfunction but with breahting. like breathing will feel like it's boring and too much effort nd ill just be sitting there like 😐 and OBVIOUSLY brain doesn't let that go on for long but just. what the fuck is this disorder. whose idea was this how did it get past the planning phase 🤣🤣🤣

#i was thinking ab how eating is a stupid very basic life thing to struggle with #but rlly that's not even the most basic 💀 #yes i spend every waking moment feelnig like im not getting enough oxygen yes my dr says its just anxiety nd my asthma is well controlled #idfk #alas the two feel identical 🙃🙃 #i could almost deal w the thoughts like most of the time its the goddamn ache in my chest it fucking SUCKS dude #one of my friends mentioned feeling it around exam season #and that it stopped when it ended and the stress stopped #and i was like. ah #that's supposed to go at some point huh #and ik it's my thoughts causing it ik i worked this out before but that's just turned into another thing to get at myself with #welp that's six or seven years of my life gone 🤪 #ughhhh #adhd #mine #it's all good its just been a weird day 🤣 #and the madlad did it she ate some pasta no stopping this bitch when it comes to basic life things 💯💯 #we just a lil 🤪 atm i rlly need decent sleep and not to spend an hour awake in the middle convinced i have a migraine when i dont

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

.

#my stress and lack of sleep has caught up to me 🙃 #truly unfortunate. last night at work i nearly died and now im calling off of work today cuz i feel like shit #i havent been sleeping much lately. like not sleeping at night and then taking a five hour nap in the day and thats it #and im moving in may. which im so incredibly stressed about. there's so much to do and soooo little time to do it #last night at work (saturday is the worst fucking day) it was so hot and i felt like i was going to throw up AND pass out #i nearly did pass out. i remember cleaning up dishes and starting to sway #it sucked but i did it. also started to get a really shitty cough peobs just from talking so much #i let my manager know i might be calling off today and she said its fine. and i got someone to cover me if needed #so today i just need to let my managers and replacement know for sure #ive never called out in my seven months of working there. and sunday is a slow day. so theyre cool with it #thank god because i still feel like im gonna throw up #but im gonna spend my whole sick day thinking about how i should be more productive #and thinking about how much money im losing and how much shit i need to be doing #no rest for me

[truthundressing]

.

#crying in public is a new low even for me #sat is this tucked away corner of a costa trying to compose an email to my uni tutor abt completely withdrawing from the course after a yr #of no academia #and for some reason every song thats played from shuffling my playlist have been incredibly sad #im sick and tired of crying but why is everything so tough 🙃 #this is what i need to do tho #trying to complete uni rn when i know id do shit and probably fail anyway bc my head is elsewhere #isnt the right choice #i just need a low stress job that'll pay decent and still give me enough time to spend w my parents bc idk how much longer I'll have with #them which is a horrific thing that no child should have to think when theyre parents are only in thei 50s #but its my reality rn which is what keeps making my eyes prick and sting while im literally surrounded by people #one step at a time #send the email enjoy my little treat go buy the milk get home and cuddle my bunny maybe have another cry cuddle my brother and fuck around #trying to distract myself for the rest of the year 🙏 #god willing I'll get through this stronger than ever #wait i meant *rest of the day but rest of the year kinda checks out😭😭

[symbioticsimplicity]

You know, I'm always wondering why I can't stop clenching my jaw. It hurts, and I'm constantly reminding myself to stop, but even in my sleep I can't seem to manage it. But then I do things like crush the cockroach climbing up my leg while I'm laying in bed and I'm like "Oh yeah that's right." Its more of a wonder that I haven't broken *more* of my teeth.

#vent post #hi I'm really fucking stressed #also im lowkey living someone's worst nightmare #but I'm too goddamn tired and dissociative to care much anymore??? #cockroach on my person in bed?? #yeah thats the third time this month this apartment just be like that #pulling a huge chunk of broken tooth out of my mouth?? #honestly it kinda feel better now without it stabbing me I'm sure itll get infected less too #eat once a day at best??? sure its not like I'm working a physically intensive job #that requires a lot more calories than I would normally eat #(spoiler alert I am) #chronic pain made significantly worse by said job?? #well good thing I've got a crazy pain tolerance and tendency to dissociate!! #its not like constant high grade physical pain is considered torture! #and if that pairs with sleeping like shit because of the aforementioned roaches??? #ah who cares its not like I need more than three to five hours anyhow!! #at this point I honestly think I could deal with a saw trap without much of a fuck given #and thats ought to be alarming but I cant feeeeeeeeeeel 🙃 #personal #sam speaks

[slippery-minghus]

god i'm struggling so much this week with the negative self talk. like it hasn't been this bad at my baseline in years. i just had the little inkling to want to challenge it but... i can't. i can't see the logical base in an argument against it. because every two seconds i'm making yet another little thoughtless mistake that wouldn't have to happen if only i would just think. if i just paid attention to my environment! to what i was doing! at all!!!

how can i say i don't deserve to be talked to (by myself) this way if there's literally no proof to contradict it??

#almost brought up to myself the convoluted but convincing logic that 'proves' i am deserving of nice things (or even neutrality) #but its too painful to think about right now #and too big of a thought to hold #i just want this move to be over so i can stop being so stressed out #and spend my spoons on actually taking care of myself so the Pit of Evil in me stays quiet #i'm trying really hard not to cry because i need to get up and go pack #and if i don't quickly pack this stuff then that means less wind down time before bed #i'm not like... trying to punish myself with withholding wind down time but it's inadvertantly becoming that #okay break over time to get to it #lets hope i don't mess anything up while packing 🙃 #personal #(i realllllyyyyyy wanna see my shrink but it'll have to wait) #(no way in hell i'm gonna ask if they can see me sooner lmao i don't do that sort of thing)

[junkie-virus]

rlly feeling izzys “EKE by” speech rn

#ro rambles #i too am a small angry bastard. #but mostly its bc my teacher is trynna ?? not follow my 504 plan cuz im late too much. #which i mean yeah i agree that my lateness is a bit of an issue (though i still get my fuckin work done) but its almost like. #thats another part of why i having the fucking plan in the first place #almost like hmm.. maybe theres something that gives me issues w time management(/blindness/) & also is linked to issues w sleep 🙃 #been stressed out of my mind w school + nearby shark week hormones... worst concoction on fucking earth #& even those that share my stress are calling me lazy or treating me like i dont care or try #alternative being. idk just try harder ig. #my friends r supportive but sometimes it just hurts to be told to ‘do your fucking work!!’ & ‘/ro/‘ like omg never considered #usually im fine w it but recently ive also been kinda overwhelmed so. anger. #izzy was so real like fighting for ur fucking life while ppl around u r totally nonchalant abt the mess that’s happening but u /have/ to #solve it bc its stressing u out & they say they got it but it doesnt seem like it !!! & tgen u try & they get mad at u #but also the people are just not trying to solve it at all & they r just blaming u. #ur supposed to solve it. #the answer of what im solving is my fuckin mental health or ability to graduate idk #like ive been struggling to upkeep my grades & pass & do work & be Good Enpugh for fucking YEARS but noooo ive been doing so GOOD i just #CHOSE to stop doing good & Being Normal. #ugh sorry nd frustration. #every year school starts again i KNOW ill be burntout like a month or even less in & every year i attempt to prepare myself #& every year i am never prepared and get my fucking shit rocked #but hey ive made it this far. in the home stretch.

[toastsnaffler]

STOP TRYING TO CALL MEEEE IDC IF UR NUMBER IS FROM MY AREA CODE IM NOT PICKING UP BC IM DEAF!!!!

#GRRRRRRR WHEN WILL THEY LEARN #i used to be like well if they needed to contact me they would know I'm deaf and so wouldnt call #but my fucking uni + gp practice both know im deaf and WOULD STILL CALL ME ALL THE TIME #so I never know if its actually important or not 🙃🙃🙃🙃 #unnecessary stress #if u have my number u 100% have my email pls just email me its rly not that hard #.diaries