#it's pretty bad. if i'm the first person to dm someone i Will worry they think i'm annoying as fuck

[thatsparadise]

might make a pizza tower discord server cuz yet again i wanna talk to more pt fans but i'm too shy to join other ppl's servers so my solution is making my own

#ik i keep making posts like this but i really need to get over my nervousness when talking to new ppl #it's pretty bad. if i'm the first person to dm someone i Will worry they think i'm annoying as fuck #so i gotta make posts saying i wanna talk to ppl and hope i actually get talked to #WHY DOES TUMBLR MOBILE NOT LET ME TYPE QUOTATION MARKS IN TAGS #sorry i feel like i'm just complaining atp i'll end these tags here

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

Would I be the asshole for asking my suicidal girlfriend not to vent with me? First ask here, be warned for heavy topics about the above situation. Putting an emoji for easy finding. 🦐

I am a polyamorous person (22nb) with my long distance girlfriend (22f) of about 1 year. I love her deeply, and we have known each other for a long time when I used to go to school in person with her. I also have an in person queer platonic partner (22nb) who lives with me currently and has been with me for about 3 years. Both of my partners are suicidal and self harm, though the partner who is living with me has luckily seemed to improve a lot through being able to spend time with someone who cares for them constantly. My girlfriend...sadly has not gotten the same chance, since she moved long before we got together and has only her family to keep her stable (who have proven before this point that they are pretty terrible support systems, when they actively encouraged her self harming to become worse).

Luckily, I have had this rodeo before due to a majority of my friends struggling with this sort of problem, and when she began saying things in my dms that pointed towards depression and suicidality, I was quick to try to help her get into therapy. Whether or not this therapist is really the best is sort of iffy, as the therapist hasn't worked with her on a lot despite over a month of them working together, so...she hasn't gotten much work towards helping to change things and has felt somewhat stuck. I know she needs to probably get a new therapist, but due to not having insurance at the moment it's not an easy situation to just change. Since things have not gotten to improve, she...has still felt horrible most days will come to me in DMs to tell me how bad it is. Which, you know, should be fine, but it's the *way* she talks about it-- it's in a very vent heavy, far too much triggering information, Everything Is Horrible and there is no way to fix it and I should Die, way.

I have learned boundaries in regards to my own mental health due to just how often I have encountered things, and luckily, my other partner is great about it! They don't talk about their issues with suicidality all that much which can make me worried at times, but when they *do*, it's very much a situation of them bringing up how they feel and then us moving forwards to do something distracting or something that will help them. Instead of an info dump of Horrible Information That Makes Me Fear For Their Life, it's just. Moving to make sure they're doing better and changing things, identifying why certain feelings are feeling bad. But with my girlfriend, these topics come on suddenly without warning, are spoken in such a way that I feel like 1. I can't move on or change anything to help 2. I don't have a way to respond that will end up doing anything but make her feel worse. I feel at a complete loss of how to handle these things that she's just throwing on me. I haven't mentioned yet to her how bad these ventings make me feel because I'm worried it would make her internalize it and worsen her issues, though I know I do probably need to communicate it with her. I feel that she may just not be quite as mature as my other partner in how to handle feelings like this yet(most likely due to lack of support systems), and I WANT her to be able to talk about her feelings. I'm her girlfriend, after all, a little bit of emotional labor is always going to be a part of supporting people that close to you. Just...not in a way that will end up ultimately making both me and her feel like shit, and get her in a worse direction than before.

She eventually will be moving in with us next year, and I am wondering if I should try to wait to talk about it until then when she has more of a support to lean against, or should I try to figure it out right now. Right now could leave her...hurt and much more vulnerable, which would be a real risk considering the scenario. Would I be the asshole for telling her that she needs to work on how she talks about these topics, and that I can't have her continuing to put her emotions on me like this?

What are these acronyms?

#aita #am i the asshole #suicide cw #self harm cw

[dialovers-lover-xoxo]

💜💜💜 COMMISSIONS! 💜💜💜

Hello, my loves! So for quite a while people have been wondering about commissions and offering me money for my writings. Since many people seem to want commissions from me I figured I'll open them!

I wanted to be as fair as possible with prices, which is actually one of the reasons I took so long to start commissioning: I didn't know how to price it and I didn't want to be unfair with it.

After a whole lot of google searches and looking on Reddit, I've decided my general prices will be:

Under 500 words - $5

500-1000 words - $10

1000-1500 - $15

(And so on and so forth, for every 500 word difference, it will be 5 dollars)

Also if your commission ends up being like 502 words, don't worry, it will still only be 5 dollars. I won't demand 5 extra dollars for 2 words 😂

One-shot or smut requests won't be commissions as they are very low-effort for me and they use an x-reader. It wouldn't be right to ask for money if it's easy to write and won't take a lot of time and effort.

If I need to understand an OC in depth and write an OC into an already made world with already pre-existing characters, it will take much more time and effort.

Payments will be by PayPal but if for some reason PayPal doesn't work for someone, we can probably figure something else out!

There is no pressure to commission. And as I said, I can still take general requests with an x-reader. Commissions are only for requests that will require more time and effort on my part.

I WILL NOT WRITE:

- Rape

- Pedophilia

- Necrophilia

- Beastiality

- Incest

- Anything that I don't feel comfortable with or think is appropriate. I have the right to decide what I'm comfortable writing and what I'm not. For example, if your OC has a traumatic past, I can take that into account as it is simply a part of their character, but I will not write a diaboy actually raping any character.

I can write commissions that include sex or smut, but the person requesting that type of content must be 18 or over.

If you want a commission or have more questions about commissions, please contact me through dms!

Other fandoms I can write for include:

-------------------------------------------

- Riordanverse (PJO, HOO, TOA, Magnus Chase)

- My Little Pony

- Stardew Valley

- Undertale

- FNAF

- Life is Strange

- Any Supermassive Games game

- Harry Potter

I can and will also write things that aren't fandom related at all!

Examples of my writing:

The first 3 are x-readers, last is purely diaboys interacting. As said above, I can write a plethora of different fandoms or genres. These are just examples of my writing if you're interested but I can and will write pretty much anything! :)

Other info about my account, including master lists!

#commission #writing commissions #writers on tumblr #diabolik lovers #diabolik lovers fanfiction #diabolik lovers fandom #commisions open #taking commisions #commisions post

[krash-and-co]

hey krash, i wanted to reach out and say that i'm so sorry that you got such a hurtful reaction from one of the l&co servers for speaking up about something that genuinely needed to be addressed. i won't badmouth anyone in particular but this is not the first time this fandom has dogpiled someone over a misunderstanding, and when it happened to me i had severe anxiety over it for about a week even after it was resolved, and eventually left because of it. it left a pretty bad taste in my mouth for the fandom in general, so i mostly just stick to my small group of mutuals now lol. i wish this fandom truly was different from other fandoms, but this kind of thing is unfortunately inevitable once something reaches a certain level of popularity. but that certainly doesn't make it okay, and you didn't do anything to deserve the reaction you got. i hope you can feel peace about it soon, and i'm sorry again that it happened at all. 🫂

(please don't feel pressured to answer this if you'd rather the matter be left alone, i totally understand. i just wanted to send you an ask because i didn't know if you're comfortable with dms.)

hi im so sorry i forgot to answer!!! thank you so much this means so much to me. 💙💙💙 i read this for the first time when i was feeling pretty attacked and it really cheered me up <3

hmm other people have been telling me about how they got attacked in this fandom too. and maybe this shouldn't have surprised me as much as it did. but it's something fans never talk about and claim doesn’t exist, so i thought it didn’t. i was horribly fooled lol. as, uh, i am about to rant about; do you mind? u don’t have to read it, i won’t be offended, but halfway thru answering this ask it turned into a rant i wanted to release into the world lol, so sorry about that 😭😭😭

very important disclaimer!!! this is NOT about everyone. ABSOLUTELY NOT. most of you are absolutely amazing people, and i assure you if ur worried this is about you, it’s prob not lol

ANYWAYS!!!

im kind of feeling i was betrayed?? ig? i rlly believed everyone was so kind, and look what i know now. it genuinely seems like people are gaslighting themselves. how else do they only see our ‘harm?’ yeah, our fandom is known for being passionate, but saying we’re known for kindness is starting to make me sick. maybe we were, i know a lot of us still are, but throwing that out there in the middle of your hypocritical hate post seems like justification for the shit things people have been saying. you can say no wrong so long as you’re here. only people who don’t agree with you. so yeah, fuck krash and ljc and anyone else who doesn't agree!!! that totally shows how kind you are and how much you loved the fandom before we messed it up. nobodys visibly mad, cuz we're too scared to say shit!!!

i’ve seen too many examples of the contrary from the “victims,” wailing about how cruel we are the second they disagree with someone. (in a highly hypocritical manner, at that.) “everyone was so happy before this!” no, they weren’t, that’s why i brought it up. “stop bringing hate to this fandom! now let me fucking berate you!” do you even hear yourself? “nobody even cared before, we were all content!” we weren’t all content, we were just silent. it sometimes looks the same.

someone even declared they were leaving the fandom because ‘one person wanted to stop show saving efforts entirely because it traumatized them, and this is no longer a safe place.’ like, what? where did you even get that? for one, there were at least two of us posting together, and that’s just barely knowing anything about what’s happening. thats not even touching on how one of us (idk who the op of that post was talking about, it’s a 50/50 lol) made the fandom an unsafe place for our personal gain. what?

hella kind. hella safe on their part.

another said they saw only old fans agreeing about this so it’s just us being pissed about change. it’s us hating the show. me and ljc being upset about not being the only “big blogs” any more. our fandom is only for the elite, etc. fuck us. yet ljc is getting blackmailed. we’re getting hate replies. friends that try and help get attacked. misinformation spread. how did that even happen? we never once tried to hurt anyone; thank you to those who understand.

but to some, WE’RE the ones in the wrong.

do they SEE themselves? how hypocritical all of this is? or are their heads that far up in the ass of their petition and beloved fake idea of this fandom that they care about more than all of us?

now, this is where i add another “not everyone” message. not everyone is like this, this is not me saying i hate the petition or people who support it. hell, i signed the petition. twice. and once more from my mothers email.

i don’t regret the i love you posts i made, because i still do love this fandom, i am still absolutely here for the rest of yall. but DAMN if we weren’t hiding something under happy Save The Show, I Love Locknation! messages. perfectly smiling faces until they bite. i was surprised to see how many people did.

as if our previous problems weren’t enough, now it turned into this lol. no, that’s a lie, it didn’t. it already was, and i HATE THAT.

ig im kinda spoiled, i never really experienced hate like this from this fandom before. but now i know it happened BEFORE too, and that just pisses me off. it hurts coming from a group who says they love us. genuinely wacko (not the fun kind) behavior :[

i know this isn’t everyone’s experience, but it is mine, and enough others to make me wanna say this. and this is ofc me and @lucy-j-carlyle 's brand of hate, not yours. but it does happen and the constant chant that IT DOESN'T IT DOESNT IT DOESN'T isn't helping anyone. and now I know.

idk what im even saying anymore lol, sorry for ranting. what i mean to say is, thank you, and i wish things were better. and i love you kind people. im happy it’s most of you.

#💙💙💙💙 #if people hate on the person who asks me this !!! you will have to get thru me (i am 5’4) #okay but pls i’ll take the fall. genuinely #they did nothing wrong #im the one who answered in rant form #lockwood and co #literally idk what just happened sorry for the word vomit

[sunnydayjackass]

I’ve been kinda down lately, and I thought of the question.

What would Jack do if Y/N were in any danger? Say like a person attempted to harm them, or tried to abduct them in real time? I’m really curious on what would go down-

I'm sorry to hear that boo. Ask box is open if you have more requests or my DMs if you want someone to vent to. Safe & judgment free

TW: attempted kidnapping, aggravated assault, gore ish?

It goes without saying that the fact Jack is real, tangible, and corporeal to only you has more cons than it does pros. While Jack is known to fuss and fawn about you, he worries more than he'll ever let on. Under that sunny optimistic bravado is layers of worry and anxiety about your well being. He's very aware that the world can be a cruel and unforgiving place. People have bad intentions and he stresses over doing what he can to protect you from it.

It's a delicate line to walk, Jack doesn't want to smother you or scare you of course but I can absolutely see him as the type to gently encourage you getting something to defend yourself on the walks home from work. After all they make such cute options these days!! Whether you do or don't buy into investing in these items (real talk-- please do) it still doesn't do much to ease Jack's worries.

These fears are made made real, ripped right from his nighmares one evening when the pair of you are walking home from a shift at Popov's. A car approaching slowly from behind to roll up alongside you, Jack can feel you tense up, your hand slowly towards your bag and in a blink the car stops and a man approaches you. Gentle at first to attempt to persuade you into the vehicle, buttering you up with compliments, asking you out tonight. Its so bizarre and forward you're disgusted immediately. But when you decline and hasten your walk to your apartment with Jack eagerly ushering you along, you're struck with something hard and heavy at the back of your head.

What if Jack could possess others? There's this searing rage that boils in his veins, an absolute fury that he himself has never experienced before. And what follows...well- you have no idea. But it isn't pretty by any means. What Jack orchestrates is nothing short of slow and brutal torture of a man by his own hands. Those same vile hands that dared to reach out at you, dared to hurt you, it was likely for the best those hands be broken, right? Those covetous eyes that dragged over your body, that brain that carried such awful thoughts and ideas- whatever impulse or synapse dictated that attempting to harm you was a good idea needed to be snuffed out. Jack takes his time, his voice teasing and taunting his man and orchestrating mutilation...it's deserved of course. All Jack does, he does for you.

You're woken not long after, your head throbbing as you groan and hear Jack breathe a sigh of relief. "I was so worried you were concussed but...had to get us home as quickly as possible." You still look discombobulated, trying to get your bearings before you see Jack's face but your vision still swims a little. You could have sworn he had on more facepaint but maybe you're just seeing things. The two of you hurry home where Jack fetches the first aid kit from under the sink.

As you sit on the lip of the bathtub with your back to Jack as he gently sifts through your hair, cleaning away caked blood and the nasy gash at your head, the bleeding mostly stopped deep mottled bruising around where the impact was. Jack's heart breaks, sinking into the floor as he looks at it. If only he could do more to keep you safe, he'd been lucky this time and he'd do it without question again and again for you. He was happy to do it, enjoyed it even. There wasn't a lick of remorse for the decimated unrecognizable corpse he left behind. But for you? It was unfathomable tragedy. "...I'm...I'm so sorry Sunshine." Jack breathes shakily as he tends to your wound.

Your purse your lips and clench your jaw as prickles of pain erupt from his helpful handiwork. "No, you don't have anything to apologize for...you told me to get self defense stuff. I should have been quicker on the draw." You want to stay strong, you want this to roll off your back but your chest feels tight and your mouth feels bone dry. "...did...did anything happen? To me?" You're so afriad to ask but you're entirely unsure. You feel fine. Your clothes aren't fucked up. But you don't know what happened or how long you were out for.

"Oh no, no no no, Sunbeam. Nothing else happened to you." Jack answers quickly, and you know he's telling the truth. His hands fall from your hair to rub your shoulders with his large hands, thumbs pressing along the back of your neck the way you like.

"What did happen?" You ask quietly and Jack stalls for a moment, a mere second, that you thankfully don't seem to take notice of. Jack thinks back to the sight he left behind. Hands broken, crushed as bone splintered through the fleshy digits. Skull caved in, face brutalized into the interior under the hood that was pressed down impossibly tight. Those eye tho, Jack had made sure to rid of those though, that had been the first item on the list. Gruesome, sure but attacking you was an unforgivable act.

Leaning down, Jack peppers you with delicate kisses, his scent replacing the sterilized smell of rubbing alcohol and medicinal ointment as arms move to hug you to him from behind. "Nothing happened, Sunshine. Nothing you have to fret about. I'll keep you safe. I promise."

#somethings wrong with sunny day jack #there's something wrong with sunny day jack #theres something wrong with sunny time jack #something's wrong with sunny day jack #sunny day jack #tswwsdj #swwsdj #sdj x reader #sunny day jack x reader #sdj

[shrinkthisviolet]

do you have any headcanons, old or new, for the kf!Barry possibility? i am so intrigued by it, fascinated even and i'm curious about your own takes, or what's the most interesting thing about it to you?

Ahh I love this question! It’s an idea I periodically get obsessed with from time to time, and I’ve talked a bit here about how I’d write it. And to expand:

I’ve never been a fan of Killer Frost’s split personality thing in the show, and it’s not comics accurate, so I’d probably do away with it. It’s just the general colder body temperature affecting his mind (chronic cold effects are terrifying, and that wouldn’t even be as bad as this, because this is inside him), not to mention his constant hunger for body heat to try to reach homeostasis (comics-based and…also, given biology, makes sense)

There’s a few different times I could give Barry powers, though I love the idea of them manifesting during s2 and him using them to defeat Zoom, freezing and shattering him to pieces

On the other hand, I also love the idea of them manifesting during s3, the way KF’s do in canon, maybe after he’s already met his frosty E2 doppelgänger. I doubt he’d team up with Savitar…unless Savitar was Iris and they became a genuine evil duo (not the leader-subordinate dynamic that Savitar and KF had in canon, but a true equal partnership)

He could also get powers in s1, and they start to affect his mind. He’s snappish, more irritable…and most of all, he doesn’t trust Eowells (especially if Iris is the Flash, and CSI Barry’s hero worship for Eowells is overridden by suspicion and worry…especially as he starts noticing more things off about Eowells)

And, to slip in a little Barrisco, I think KF!Barry and Reverb might’ve been the dynamic duo on E2. So KF!Barry on E1 might be very keen to recruit Cisco and replicate that…👀

Maybe he becomes an anti-hero like KF does in canon—still with villainous tendencies, but using them in service of the heroes (I do usually love that trope 💞)

I also have quite a few thoughts about “what if I wrote him in the Morgan AU as a spinoff AU” (4 additional headcanons for anyone interested in that):

He gets powers from the accelerator in s1, and they affect him as per the first headcanon outlined above. And, ofc, no split personality

He doesn’t fall into a coma, and instead, decides to use his powers to protect Central City. He doesn’t tell anyone—and if Iris is the Flash here, he ofc can’t tell her. While out on patrol one night, he meets a young hero who calls themself “Sentry”—definitely a kid or young adult, and definitely in need of guidance. Barry might not know how to be a hero, but he knows how to guide people. Probably (and their powers certainly make them useful…even if he’s horrified at that fleeting thought)

Barry and Morgan’s dynamic is thus pretty different. It’s less equal from the start, and it never really approaches that. Morgan looks up to him, and Barry…doesn’t quite look down on her, but as time passes, it gets close. Even as they become friends outside of their superhero identities, she’s still very much someone he needs to protect, not so much someone he can count on to protect him

He also notices some things are up with Eowells and Morgan. Some…not so great things. As time goes on, a picture starts to form in his head—abuse? Neglect specifically? Something. He’s only a CSI, he can’t investigate that…so he drops anonymous tips to CPS. Eowells gets out of all of them, and Morgan is visibly much more anxious after that, so Barry takes the hint and stops, but he’s still pissed that his effort was futile. But also…maybe it’s for the best. Where would Morgan go? Tina raised her for a little while but gave her back to Eowells, she can’t be trusted. (Maybe the only person he can trust for such a job is himself—and he should be horrified by the thought, but…he’s not)

send me an au and i’ll share 5+ headcanons about it!

Taglist (send an ask or DM to be added or removed):

@arrthurpendragon @ocappreciationtag @raith-way @vexic929 @ironverseocs @thechaoticfanartist @goldheartedchaoticdisaster @negative-speedforce @starstruckpurpledragon @angst-is-love-angst-is-life

#au headcanon ask game #kf!barry #barry allen #some flash!iris because i can’t resist 😅 she’s always my alternate flash choice #reverb #a little hinted barrisco #the flash #this is an au i’ve tossed around in my head for a while #idk if i’ll write the canon-spinoff version but maybe! #the morgan au version tho…👀 yeah that’s on my list for ‘someday’ #oc: morgan wells #brotp: i know my hero #forgive me my oc rambling lol i am but a simple girl obsessed with putting them in Situations™️

[tarabyte3]

I'm not going to lie, December has been a pretty rough month.

(vent post. mind the tags.)

I have been struggling with anxiety, writer's block, RSD, loneliness, and some extreme imposter syndrome. (To the point I had to talk myself down from just fully deleting some of my drafts/WIPs. Because, unfortunately, I'm not a big fan of my own writing at the moment. And I know we're not supposed to compare ourselves to other people. I know we're only supposed to write for ourselves. I know that! But sometimes I look at how many hours I've put into my writing, and then look at my numbers on here and AO3, and I feel discouraged. Like, maybe that's a sign that I'm not very good at it so what's the point. Of course more people don't want to read it. I don't blame them! I'm kidding myself. OR maybe it's me specifically that people just don't like! Makes sense. Then the writer's block kicks in, which makes me feel bad, which makes it impossible to write, etc. A vicious cycle.) Tl;dr my self esteem is in a stagnant pool of murky gutter water.

On top of that, I recently learned that someone I quietly blocked on here a month ago (due to a lack of boundaries and trauma dumping in my DMs with no warning or consent, which went on for weeks) has since messaged other Andy fan pages on other social media platforms (that I've never spoken to!!), talked about me to them, and portrayed me as a hateful bully. Which was very upsetting and baffling! Because 1. even the thought of being mean to someone makes my stomach hurt (it took me over a week to make the decision to even block them in the first place because I felt horrible about it), and 2. all I want to do is exist, thirst over Andy Serkis, and hang out in my own lane. 😩 So I know, logically, I didn't do anything wrong by inserting a boundary and gracefully exiting a situation which was causing me stress and anxiety. But the part of my brain that tries to convince me that I'm actually a horrible, cold, obnoxious, unlikable person has had a fucking feast with that.

Then I had to deal with my shitty family over Christmas. They're very good at finding new and interesting ways of excluding me and making me feel like an outsider. I never know why, though, and I'm not sure which is worse: that they're doing it intentionally, or that I matter so little they don't even realize or think twice about doing it.

All that being said: Please don't worry about me. I'm safe and I will be okay. In time. It's just that the holidays are stressful, it gets dark at 4:30, I'm always tired, I'm sad, I can't write for shit lately, and I had to get this off my chest so that maybe I would feel light enough to finally dig myself out of that pit. At the very least, I'll do it for spite because I am also quite mad about that second thing.

#cw depression #writer's block #cw family trauma #cw shitty family #vent post #tara irl #in my villain era #(having boundaries)

[problematicfactive]

wow that's fucking disturbing, hope you're taking care of yourself today as a treat after that /g

Thank you!

Host is going over his lines but the stress is making us tic :(

It's a pretty common occurrence but it still gets me pretty badly every time.

On the note, I want to talk about manipulative source hate,

This came in immediately after I was banned.

Actually, let me clarify.

This person said this in MY own discord after I was banned from revenge.

I'd like to break it apart and explain why this kind of behavior isn't okay. You think you're being genuine, you're actually being an asshole.

"I kind of understand where they're coming from"

It is okay to have your own opinions, however, this person did nothing but make assumptions on how I live my life and my connection to source. They understand the other side because they were willing to hear out that sides "reasoning" for banning me (which can be seen in my last post) but they weren't willing to hear out how I live my own life. I have said it before and I always will say that hatred for problematic factives comes from ignorance on the subject. The idea we can just "get help" when in reality, this is the way our brain manifests "help." I am the help.

Also. That one person said "kys" -- this person is1 they understand where someone who wants me to commit suicide literally just because I exist "is coming from"

It IS okay to have your own opinions. But when a person is talking about how they got banned for being alive, maybe don't speak on your negative opinions of them in the moment. If you really want them to know how you feel, maybe give them time to calm down just a little? Dm them later and ask if it's okay to ask questions

This blog is primarily to educate. If you have any form of questions feel free to ask. If someone is asking you questions you feel I can answer, feel free to direct them to me.

"I don't want to see your icon, it makes me uncomfortable."

Being made uncomfortable by something is totally valid. Watching people eat makes me super uncomfortable. I'm not going to go to people who make eating content and try to manipulate them into feeling bad for EATING. Yesterday I had a different icon. It was the guy who played me but out of character. I hated it. It made ME uncomfortable and I felt like I was lying to myself. Deciding to change it to something that felt right was hard for me, but it was the decision I made. It means a lot to me and nothing to others. Just don't talk in the channels (need I remind, in MY server) where I'm talking? We have so many channels so you can avoid people that make you uncomfortable, its in the rules.

This person is focused on letting me know about their feelings, but they not once stopped to ask me about mine. That leads me into the next bit

"I know you deal with a lot of hate, but it isn't about you."

This is want I call "fake sympathy" "I know you deal with hate" is this person's way of pretending to have cared for my feelings and to justify only worrying about their own feelings throughout all of this. They don't mention how receiving this daily hate must hurt me or even how hard that must be on my health, they say "It isn't about you" (and give no further indication to whom this is about because at the end of the day, this is, in fact, about me. I'm the one who goes to bed every night hated by the internet and wakes up hated by the internet. I'm the one who can't be accepted in public places, I'm the one who people genuinely want to kill themself because of who I was sourced from. That's about me.) its simultaneously the most manipulative excuse I have EVER seen, and the poorest attempt at manipulation I've ever seen. "This isn't about you" because they are making it all about them. Again, literally just because I am alive.

"You need to show you aren't your source. Change your icon or your name."

First off, telling me what to do without me asking for anything of the sort. I've done both of these things. For a period of time, my display name was that of a creepypasta, and as I had already told that person, I also go by anxiety. Having my sourcename is not illegal, but when I didn't, I was still recognized and banned from servers in situations literally just like this one. Changing my name is doing nothing but lying to myself about my identity. Even though I am very very not connected to source, my name and appearance are the most important parts of myself to me. I've already spoken on my icon.

"Ill go. I don't want to make anyone uncomfortable but this is how I personally feel"

1) the only thing you did throught all that message was make me beyond uncomfortable. You saved NO ONE the discomfort because nit only did I have to read that, the other people in the server did too

2) Why should I be expected to give half a fuck about how you feel if all you were gonna do is brush my off and side with people would literally want me to kill myself?

3) if you were gonna go, you should haveleft. Staying and giving this attention seeking speech is doing nothing but trying ti manipulate me into feeling bad for existing and making you feel uncomfortable in my server. You could have just left. You could have tried to understand things better, you could have said you were uncomfortable and left. You gave a whole shpill about how my existence makes you uncomfortable trying to get people to feel bad for you because the only thing you can do when you see me is judge me based on my source.

That is manipulative source hate.

Thank you for coming to my blog and also for being here for me.

Being able to throughly analyze this and warn others on it honestly and genuinely made me feel better

#problematic factive #problematic source #problematic introject #factive #introject #plural community #plural #system #sysblr #problematicfactive blog things #plural system #plurality #pluralgang #system safe space

[howyouloveyourdragon]

Hello. I hope I'm not disturbing you. If you don't mind, what do you pay attention to when writing yandere or normal canon? How do you become an inspiration for Yandere? What advice do you have for a new writer? Is it possible for you to tell me your tips for using while writing?

hi don't worry you're not disturbing me :) i hope this helps, here are some of my tips and don't be a stranger if you need any other help my dms are always open!

personally when it comes to writing i find it helpful to do a bit of research especially when it's something like asoiaf but fanfiction also means you can bend the rules a bit so long as the personality is the same

with saying that you can definitely take inspiration from other writers so long as you either credit them, we all want to help each other here <3

i would advise you to use your instincts especially

investigate their good and bad aspects but also the pov of your character

if a certain scenario doesn't make sense but you really enjoy it, think about the lead up to it, how did this happen? how do you want it to end?

also note on their treatment of other characters whether it's good or bad they usually have some reasoning behind it so that can help you learn more about the character

when writing yandere or dark stories i do prefer to have specific attributes to my characters, i spend time looking at darker parts of their personalities already and then exaggerate them, for example are there more scenes of them being violent or manipulative than others? are they more protective or possessive?

don't turn a relatively unviolent character all guns blazing, it loses the immersion

please don't try and knock everything out in one take it will only demotivate you and leave you frustrated i know from experience!

my advice there is to start with your favourite concepts and then if you start to lose interest or get a block, take a break before returning to it for as ever long as you need

prompts and concepts are very useful!

if you write majority x reader like i do then vagueness isn't always your enemy, it can be helpful for your readers to imagine that reader looks like them, i personally avoid stating hair colour or other features unless explicitly requested

make your writing your own and be patient! not everyone will find your content at first but as you develop and learn more about your own style, people will remember and return to your page

only write what makes you comfortable and what you enjoy writing

only use tags that apply to your work, if someone is looking for a rhaenyra x reader and keep finding daemon x reader instead then they won't want to read it and it won't affect your page any better

when i started writing i opened my requests pretty quickly which resulted in some of my favourite works but also drained me when i started losing inspiration so only open your requests up when you're sure, your readers can be so helpful and give you that inspiration but if you feel overloaded it's only going to slow your process

i promise your readers will wait for you!

and don't feel bad about the speed you deliver on your fics! take your time and enjoy it whether they're short or long you'll find the audience best suited for you

if you do start writing requests, write your own ideas on the side because while your readers ideas can be helpful, it will inevitably hurt your personal stuff

don't try to be another writer - it's wonderful to be inspired by other writers but don't depend on certain lengths or writing styles because then it's not your own

it can be very stressful when trying to accurately portray a character so make sure you know who you're writing :)

you can include personal headcanons into your work, it will make your content more enjoyable as it means we see the parts we don't in that show/book/or other media

even if it's just simple things like what their favourite colour is or what they enjoy reading

also try and be patient with interaction and don't forget to interact yourself, if you reblog someone's post or comment they are much more likely to return the favour than not and you can even make friends from it

warnings are very important, if something could affect your audience it's better that they are aware of it

i think it's better to write when you want to write, i keep track of posts i plan on releasing throughout the week but don't confine yourself to a set time, if you see it as a deadline you are less likely to enjoy it or come out with a great product

proofread!

i hope this helped in anyway and i hope to see your writing soon!

#anon #tips #cheering you on bae!

[pawjamas]

You dont know me but I am a longtime follower of this blog. Its just to say your blog is like my comfort blanket and gives me hope things will get better. I am a cis femalebut think I might be ace. I have learning difficulty's and anxiety/social anxiety, as well as waiting for a assessment for autism/ ADHD.

I live at home with a parent. They are not an abuser but they can be abusive. They say they can't cope and threaten to throw me out and then backtrack before saying it again. They get angry and impatient when I can't understand things right away etc. But they support me financially because I have a very small independent income and they pay for things like food/travel expenses/and other stuff if I run out of money. I have a number of much older half sisters who I dont interact with much. One of them was threatening to me before and she is violent The one closest to my age is either abusive or kind to me sometimes, buying or giving me things, which is very confusing. But its like I have to pay a price for it all

I like drawing, thrifting, writing stories, dresses, dolls, pretty clothes, plushes, romance books, Beatrix potter, cottagecore, cats, calico critters, princesscore, fairies, delicate pretty things, stars, flowers, Edwardian era etc. I have my room which I tried to make pretty with stuff I thrifted or found dumped, and some new stuff. But my parent doesn't like me sitting in there by myself and 'hiding away', and wants me to socialise etc. I have quite long hair and they keep saying I should get it cut shorter because they dont like it. My parent also keeps making remarks that I'm lucky they let me collect 'junk' and that they could stop me collecting dolls/plushes etc. Its like an unspoken threat. But I keep my collections organized. I keep everything clean and neat. I often clear out my collections and donate what I no longer want. But my sister says I hoard and I need to get rid of stuff. She visits the house and goes in my room without permission, criticizing. I also live in a bad area. My aesthetic and interests are very different to my family and everyone else there. Outside I get bullied sometimes for being 'soft' and I hide my mental issues etc to protect myself. I would ideally like to be a housewife and stay at home housekeeping with an independant income to support myself and buy nice things. I'd like to live in a small house by the sea in a quiet seaside town and I would feel safe. I wouldn't worry about money etc

I miss my cat who died at Christmas and nobody understands how much pain because he was my baby. He thought he was my baby. We were very close. My family miss him very much but dismiss how I feel because its not how they feel .

I am sorry for writing such a rambling letter. Your blog gives me hope for a better future and to also have a standard to live by saying its okay to dress pretty and be soft and gentle.

hello lovely, let me first say i am honored to have you as a longtime follower of mine. you sound like you have such a kind heart and are very sweet and care so deeply, please, despite all of which in your life may hurt or make you feel bad - continue to be this sincere and softhearted person, and hold onto the hope both my blog gives you and you also have within yourself. there is so much bravery in being who you are and continuing to love what you do despite having others who try to convince you otherwise and guilt you for it.

i am so sorry you have dealt with and are still currently dealing with so many misfortunes in your life but the passion you have for such beautiful things should not be diminished by those who aren’t willing to understand you and your interests. there are a lot of others who adore the things you like! myself included 💕 and you sound like someone who would be a great friend to have. (if you ever felt comfortable enough to, i would love to talk to you more via dm’s, they’re always open for new friends and i’d love nothing more than to become one of yours ♡)

i wish to reply to your sweet letter more in depth however have had very little energy lately regarding talking to others. but please, please know what you’ve sent truly warmed my heart and i am wishing the absolute best for you - and it means a lot to me to know my blog makes you want to be unapologetically yourself, as you should! you should definitely have hope for a future to be with people who give you unconditional love, who love every part of you - interests and hobbies, everything included. and my offer always stands that if you ever want to become friends, you may send me a message once you feel comfortable to. we share practically the exact same interests as well as plans for the future. despite how many that are currently in your life may make you feel loved insincerely or not at all, you are loved, and will meet others in your future who adore everything about you, there is always hope and i’m happy to be here to provide some for you. ♡ ♡ ♡

#letters 💌 #kind words 💛 #💘 #abuse ment #pet death ment #ask to tag

[phantex1708]

Diety4Diety Roleplay [M4M, Discord, LONGTERM, Semi-lit to Advanced-lit, We Will Change the Plot as Need-Be to Better Suit You and Your Character!]

Heyo, I’m looking for someone interested in writing a high-fantasy story! I'm looking for romance and eventually a cute little family dynamic for our characters. As said in the title, I'm searching for a long-term writing partner, so if you want something different, please ignore this post. I want a roleplay that I can make part of both of our character’s original (or canon, if you will) stories. Not just me, either; I’d like for both of us to want similar things like that! It can be hard to find a roleplay partner who you really click with, and I have found that when we chat OOC alright, we look forward to the writing itself more! No, I'm not looking for anything romantic with my RP partners. I didn't know that this was something I had to clarify, but apparently it is. With that said, I don't typically write well with those who are dry texters OOC. I’m not trying to be harsh or rude by any means, but as someone who already has a difficult time reading tone over text, dry messages don't make it any easier. Besides, it’s nice knowing when someone is equally as excited as myself about writing a story! Along with that, please be up for actively planning out the plot with me! There’s nothing worse than the plotting being one-sided. Now, I'm not too nitpicky about this; as long as the effort is there, that’s all that matters. Putting zero effort into developing the story, versus genuinely coming to a blank, are very different! I can be indecisive on certain things as well, and I don't expect you to be perfect. Everybody has their flaws, myself absolutely included. I want to add that sometimes I chat differently! Honestly, it depends on how you text me. Generally, I’ll occasionally use emojis, but I stick with emoticons and tone tags! The tone tags are probably the ones I use the most; I’ve got anxiety and sometimes worry about coming off the wrong way in a text, so I just like to be clear!

For my rules and big “no”s, it’s honestly just pretty basic things that shouldn't need to be said. However, I don't want my post to get taken down, so I’ll just clearly list those things in DMs. It’s insane how I’ve learned that I do, in fact, need to clarify these types of things. I’ve been role-playing for a good while now, and had to figure out all of that the hard way. Another “no” from me is characters who are built solely for sexual roles. I don't want to write with a character who’s whole personality is about being a bottom, or even a top. There’s a big difference between an angsty character, and a whiny character. So yeah, no whiny, helpless, infantilized characters, and no characters who are “alpha-males.” One more thing is people who are overly strict about their OCs being hurt. I understand it’s common courtesy not to give somebody else’s character major injuries without warning; I always ask before I do something like that. But please keep in mind that you can expect fighting and death scenes in this story! When I write, I go over the discord text limit and usually send two to four messages, depending on how much you give me to work with, and how action-dependent the current scene is. My biggest pet peeve is bad grammar and punctuation in the roleplay. Mistakes are fine, of course, but constant run-on sentences or poor grammar make it hard to enjoy the story. As for character face claims, AI “art,” stolen art, and real people are massive “no”s from me. First of all, I hate AI and anybody who supports it; as an artist, it’s annoying seeing people call themselves “artists” for putting a prompt into a generator that steals from actual artists. Stolen art is another obvious “no,” and it should go without saying. Real people as face claims weirds me out, and it also feels lazy; taking a photo of a random person from Pinterest and calling it an original character design is odd and lazy. What I’m fine with for face claims is artwork or commissions. Hell, even picrews as a substitute are fine until you’re able to get real art! As long as the genuine effort is there, I'm good with it. I understand it likely sounds pompous for me to expect artwork for your character, but I promise you I’m not looking for skill, just effort. On the topic of art, if I'm enjoying the roleplay and have good motivation, I’ll probably make doodles (and memes, of course) of our characters as well! Just a side note: yes, I am looking for eventual N/SFW scenes as well! As long as the timing is appropriate, and it’s not an excessive amount or too often, it’s totally fine.

About my character; My guy is an elven fertility god named Ruven. He’s caring and kind at heart, but also emotionally guarded and distant from others. Really, he’s a bit shy and gets flustered easily, as stoic as he is. Ruven is a big ol’ hefty man, standing at about 6’2” and weighing 220 lbs. He’s albino and has curly hair down past his waist, as well as many cultural tattoos from a fantasy face of mine. I will say right now, he’s Desi, about thirty billion years old, has many adult kids (sounds like a lot until you think about how old he is. Don’t worry, he hates all of his past partners now.), as well as two young children, and is a transman. I’ve had people who ended up being hateful because I didn't clarify that sooner, so I'm saying it now. He also has a rough past, which could have possibly triggering themes (SA, DV, abuse, forced marriage, child death, and derealization). Along with that, I have a fantasy homebrew world that we could use as a setting! My guy is native to a country called Sahknu, where beauty standards define one’s status and wealth. Seeing as Ruven is so pale, he’s considered very ugly for people in that kingdom which has led to him struggling a bit for money. Why is a god, the keeper of the universe’s moons, financially ruined? We’ll get to that soon!

Now for the plot! This is just a general idea, and we can make changes to fit your preferences and character. There will be romance, action, drama, and angst! For this, I’m kind of going with the idea that your character is maybe a fellow god in disguise, or possibly doesn't even know that they're a god. Amnesia tropes are always fun here! Whatever describes your character best! Seriously, I’m not going to be upset about you wanting something different! We can make changes to accommodate to your guy. Anyhow—Ruven and your character have known each other for a while now, and even though he’s been dreadfully slow to open up, he’s been a nice man. So far, he’s managed to skillfully avoid any questions wanting him to disclose personal information about himself. The best that YC has gotten is a little ramble about his two young sons, and a comment saying that ‘I’m a lot older than you think.’ The two boys themselves are named Alastair and Lavan. Alastair seems to be about six years old and is clearly adopted, seeing as he shares no resemblance to his father. Lavan, however, is only a baby and shares his dad’s trait of albinism! The older boy is enthusiastic and outgoing, often happily bringing YC many self-made drawings, while the younger is the type to start wailing if Ruven isn't holding him. To cut to the chase, Ruven is only blending in amongst the mortals because he is on the run from his ex-husband, god of the sun and fire. This man, Silas, is a cruel and sadistic person out for blood. He’s arrogant and has zero empathy for the people around him, nor for anyone who may stand in his way on his path to revenge. He will absolutely try to kill YC out of blind rage as soon as he hears about their feelings for his ex, so you can expect a fun fight scene there! See, Ruven divorced him rather harshly, and he wants nothing more than to get back at him. By “harshly,” I mean that he tried to kill him. Silas isn’t exactly the type of person to handle that kind of news well, so he needed to take drastic measures to avoid being put into danger. The sun god is not someone who’s above imprisoning and torturing the ones he “loves,” so Ruven simply didn't want to go through those things again, seeing as he’s done such in the past. He used to be a kind, gold-hearted man until he was overcome by jealousy and greed. Ultimately, that’s what led to his downfall, and Ruven’s ever-growing hatred for him. Silas is quite literally hunting this man down. At some point, he’s going to come storming into whatever place Ruven and YC are in, raising hell, and making a scene. He’ll hurt and kill people, and it’ll lead to some big fight between the three characters. This part is a little more flexible—maybe Ruven is the one who is hurt and needs to be helped to safety, or maybe YC is the one! That comes down to your personal preference because I frankly cannot decide. Either way, they narrowly escape from Silas. Now that he’s angry and hunting down both Ruven and YC, they’ve decided to simply travel together while finding elsewhere to hide. Along the way, both characters can open up to one another and be there for support. Sooner or later, they begin an official relationship, maybe even consider marriage and building more family between the two of them. Just keep in mind that they’re going to be traveling for a good while, and I mean a while. I'm not trying to rush this whole family and marriage trope, just summarizing it in a way that sounds rushed, haha. Just as things are finally getting nice, they run into Silas again, and he’s even more angry than before. He’s jealous of their happiness and is intent on finishing the fight this time. Luckily for our two protagonists, they win! They kill him, one way or another, and then live their happy lives. After that, we can continue adding on things to continue the story! I'm always open for ideas!

Please let me know if you’re interested, and I hope you all have a wonderful day!

#oc #my ocs #original character #discord roleplay #discord rp #dnd character #literate rp #new rp #semi literate rp #oc roleplay #new roleplay #roleplay #rp partner search

[michu-writes]

HEYYY MICHU!! i saw the valentines day event thingy and was wondering if i could have a scenario for token, clyde, and tweek (seperately) or just one of them if three is too much!!

with a female!reader if thats possible?

and the writing prompt is:

Person A: "Hey, I don't know how to say this... But hi, again. Uhm- I'm really bad at these kind of stuff and I'm really sor--"

Person B: "Yes, I will go out with you. Now stop worrying so much."

with person B being token (or reader for tweek and clyde's parts)

and person A being reader for tokens part (and tweek and clyde for their parts)

IM SO SORRY IF THAT MADE NO SENSE, JUST LMK OR DM ME IF YOU NEED MORE INFO OR SMTHN!! <3

HAPPY VALENTINES DAY, MICHU!!

— sincerely, sam

Token, Clyde x fem!reader scenario | Valentine's Day 2 event

A/N: I hope you’re okay with Token and Clyde!

Prompt: "Hey, I don't know how to say this but hi, again. Uhm- I'm really bad at these kind of stuff and I'm really sor--" "Yes, I will go out with you. Now stop worrying so much."

Context:

It was February 14th. Valentine's Day. The day where some people thought it's a beautiful and fun day, while others thought like it was embarrassing and awkward.

You could see all the couples holding hands as they were walking through the hallway, holding chocolates and flowers. While you on the other hand, had an empty hand.

Tolkien Black

Well, actually, you had a small gift prepared in your school bag. It was for a certain classmate, the literal star student, Tolkien Black. You were on your way to his locker, thinking you had enough time to ask him to be your valentine before class starts. Though, you were nervous and scared, but Wendy has been begging and forcing you to ask him out for a long time and you were getting sick and tired of it. Tolkien is a nice guy, surely he won't just straight up and rudely turn you down, right? There's nothing to worry about.. heh.

Soon, you were soon there by his locker. You saw him grabbing his books for class, and it didn't seem like anyone has asked him before you yet. It was a perfect time, you can't mess up now.

You knocked on the side of the other lockers beside his to get his attention. He turned his head and looked down on your hand with a small box of chocolates wrapped in a red and pink pattern heart paper.

"Hey, I don't know how to say this but hi, again. Uhm- I'm really bad at these kind of stuff and I'm really sor--"

"Yes, I will go out with you. Now stop worrying so much."

"Huh?"

You looked at him confused. Did you hear that correctly?

"I said yes. Almost every girl from class has asked me out already, but I said no because I knew you would ask me too and I think you're pretty cute."

You stood there in silence as you slowly turned red and hot, getting a chuckle in return from the boy.

"See? You think it wasn't obvious? I pretty much knew all along that you had a crush on me because you always do this whenever you're around me. I just wanted to hear from you first." He gently smiled at you as you gave him the gift.

"Sorry. I'm just a bit surprised. So... Are we on after school at my place?"

"Sure, no worries, (y/n)."

Clyde Donovan

You were quite sad about not having anyone to ask you out. If someone did it, you'd be so happy and it would be a lot of fun. But whatever, it's just another stupid school day anyway. What did you expect? Even your best friend, Clyde, probably has a valentine as well, which is probably Bebe. He's good with the girls, he even makes you kinda flustered sometimes as well. Actually, both of you jokingly start to flirt to each other sometimes out of boredom too, which is fun. But sometimes you can't tell if he actually mean it or not. He's always like that to the girls. So if he ever had a crush on you, that's good, because you do too.

"(Y/NNNNN)!!!" You heard a similar voice yell from the distance. Turning around to see where it came from, you could see the brunette run towards you in full speed with what seemed to be... a boquete of flowers?

"Stop right there!" You held up your hand in front of him, stopping him so he was facing the palm of your hand. "No running in the halls." You winked, receiving a breathless chuckle and an eye roll from him.

"Hey! Just- hah- I have to ask you something."

Is he going to ask you out? Isn't he supposed to be with Bebe?

"I don't know how to say this but hi, again. Uhm- I'm really bad at these kind of stuff and I'm really sor--"

"Yes, I will go out with you. Now stop worrying so much."

"Oh really? So we can like- Kiss and shit now?"

"Slow down, dork." You teasingly punched him on the shoulder.

"But like, weren't you supposed to ask Bebe out?"

"Bebe? No, we're just friends. But you are my best friend, except you're not because you're my girlfriend now since I basically just asked you out and you said y-"

"I get it." You gave him a smooch on the cheek, seeing him off guard for the first time. You couldn't help but feel really happy. He was completely red now.

"O-Oh! And here's the flowers I bought. They look a bit weird because I ran around with them on my hand."

"They're beautiful, thank you Clyde."

"Yeah..." He scratched on the back of his head with a soft smile. Soon the bell rang, it was time for class. Now, you both were able to hold hands too.

#Sorry its shitty #South park #sp #tolkien black #token black #clyde donovan #x reaeder #x y/n #y/n #reader insert #south park x reader #token black x reader #clyde donovan x reader #fanfiction #headcanon #south park fanfiction #scenario #valentines day #event #💝

[monstas1ut2]

(3/3) Eren Yeager

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Send a DM just to trap me (damn)

Threw your bitch in a taxi (taxi)

Wanna get drunk and nasty? (Nasty)

It was inevitable, of course he was going to find out.. Now here you are, sitting in your mothers house trying to figure out what you could've done differently. It's not only embarrassing but it sucks because that's your father, he's your everything , he's the man who adopted you. All you had to do was stay away from Eren.. though you couldn't even do that..

"Cheer up, here.. I got watermelon and pineapples.. I know it's your favorite.."

The woman with glasses, your mother handed you the soft bowl that held your favorite fruit. Her eyes staring at you softly as you were sitting on the floor. It was like you felt like you didn't deserve a bed right now.. In all honesty though, it wasn't fully your fault.

The soft, warmth that you had from the strong arms that touched you in ways... that night had kept you asleep. His hair fit his face so well and he said so many things that night that was hard to pass by. It wasn't a joke, Eren knew what he wanted.. and that was you.. and still is.

The many missed calls from him was ridiculous and the texts were everlasting. He figured he'd messed up, that or you were maybe drunk last night..? You didn't seem drunk.. that's just because you weren't.

"I should've stayed away from him..."

"Cupcake, you can't keep blaming yourself. Shorty-pants tends to be that way with Eren because of their past. There's nothing wrong with Eren technically, he lost his parents at a young age, in front of his eyes.. so he's a bit mental from that.." the words came out of Hange's throat and you nodded slowly. The thought still edged you on though, why did Levi want you away from him..?

Just because he has mommy AND daddy issues? That is a bad sign for sure, but at the same time.. Eren has done nothing but shown you his kind side. As well as his sexual side but we ain't gonna talk about that.

"So why... did dad kick me out... because of that..? Or cuz of their background together..? Eren is nothin but nice to me.. I would've backed off otherwise I ain't stupid to stay wit a nigga that beats on me.."

These words spat out in direction of no one in particular since nobody is here.. but it hurt. You wanted to scream so badly but what good would it do anyways.. Slowly slipping a pineapple chunk in your mouth. You watched as Hange was conflicted on what to say.. which is odd.

She has known Levi longer than anyone.. but Levi is still a mystery. So all she could do was direct this somewhere else...

"He'll be fine later okay? Don't worry... just.. eat your fruit, someone's comin to see ya in a little bit.. mkay?"

It's almost been a month.. and you didn't see Levi becoming fine any day now.. from what you could see, you were abandoned just like whoever your real parents were..

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

Standing outside to get some nice air, your eyes watched the car in the driveway pull off. It was Hange's bmw. Her mission was to get Levi to straighten up and fly right, but you told her there wasn't any need. The damage was done already.. right?

Hange does tend to make things right though, she's just that lovable of a person..

Letting out a sigh, you'd decided to finally turn your back and try to go back into the house but your ears were kinda deceiving you. Your head whipping back towards the driveway as you saw the car that was there. It wasn't Hange for sure, though that black, porche was nobody's but..

Eren's...

His taller form immediately moving from that car and eventually coming to face you.. in all honesty he wanted to yell and scream and do everything in the book.. but seeing your pretty eyes tear up was enough for him.

After a few silent minutes passed, the two of you were now wrapped up in each other. As close as you two possibly could be on the comfy couch. Just bathing in each other's scent and aura. It was a nice feeling nonetheless, but at the same time, Eren was confused as to why you were so quiet. Why didn't you answer his messages or his calls...

"I'm sorry... I ain't mean to ghost you like that... but, he uhm..."

Swallowing down the tears that were edging to release again. Eren's green eyes stared into yours, his ears ready to hear everything you had to say to him. He wasn't going to ignore these feelings you had.. why would he?

"He found out... and he didn't like it.. obviously. He kicked me out...so I live here now..." your words spilling out of your throat, it sounded like you were in pain. Your glossy eyes staring up at Eren, who happened to be a bit more annoyed than anything. The past was the past... he didn't understand why Levi was so strung up on him. The two never had good relations, they always hated each other... Maybe in a past life too..

"I'll talk to him.."

"N-No, do you have a death wish..?"

"For you... I'll do anything you want.. if you wanna come live with me that's aight with me..." Eren offered up everything he could think of. There's just this feeling, he didn't want to leave you... but he also didn't want you to be abandoned by your father...

Eren knows that technically, that's already happened to you.. but you grew up with Levi and Hange..

"We gonna talk to him together... he ain't gon kill you if I'm there.. even if he hates me.."

"He Doesn't hate you... not him... he just pissed right now." Eren was correct, Levi was simply annoyed at the fact that you decided to spend the night without his knowing... and at EREN's house nonetheless. Levi already could think about what happened in that bedroom... though if you played your cards right, you could probably make it seem like it didn't happen...

Probably...

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

The paperwork continued to pile over, Hange's steps being big as she stepped over the books and papers. Honestly, this has to be the first time she's seen Levi like this. His house was a mess.

And that's something you don't hear everyday.

"Shorty! Shorty mc shorty pants...? Ah!" Hange was obviously teasing the male but she ended up tripping on one of his shoes that was in his office, man was he living in this one room?

Her glasses were put back on her face as she looked up at the desk. Seeing Levi tapping on his keyboard quickly. He himself probably didn't notice the way he was living at the moment... when he does he'll probably scold himself.

"You sir, need to get it together!" Hange spoke as she stood back up, and she earned a loud and annoyed sigh from the male.

"Look, shitty-glasses I don't have time for it right now!"

"Don't yell at me! This is about your kid wanting to isolate herself from the world because you can't stop being an asshole!" Hange quickly spoke as she then moved back from Levi, making sure her distance was far... still managing to joke in instances like this.

"Stop trying to pry them apart! I've seen Eren! He treats her like a Queen and he even gives her these looks that makes it known... he's not going to hurt her... not to mention she might hurt him first.. physically.. I've seen her throw a shoe at him once.." Hange chuckled out at her last sentence but Levi didn't seem like he was in a laughing mood.. nor was he ever...

"Fine" Hange huffed, her cheeks reddened at the fact that she couldn't persuade Levi-that's what she thought-and she immediately left his office, though came back and kicked one of the books over...

The two slender fingers he had was pinching the bridge of his nose, trying to surpass the headache that already arrived.

.

.

.

"Get out.."

"Daddy I ain't do nothin wit him, I just fell asleep I swear..-"

"I don't care!"

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ

"I'm tired.. I'm goin to sleep Ight..? Pick me up tomorrow..." your words softly sliding out as Eren stared at your soft lips. This however made you smile and wrap your arms around him. Pulling him down to your height to kiss him gently. His lips still tasting like sugar...

Today, Eren kept you company and he even offered to take you out tomorrow... so all wasn't lost..

Eventually you'd closed your bedroom door and decided to get ready for bed. Gently laying in your bed after putting a scarf and bonnet on your head. The soft pillow was cold and that only made you a tiny bit more happier...

Knock knock

As you were about to close your eyes, the sound of knocking was on your door. That could be nobody but Hange... right? Considering this is her house but normally she just opens the door... without knocking..

"Come in...?" In a bit of a confused tone, you'd propped yourself up so you could get a better look at the door.

"Why say 'come in' if you're unsure... you're going to get yourself killed.."

"Daddy!" Your voice shrilled with happiness... and all Levi could feel was that same energy.. he may not like your little... boyfriend.. but he loves you.. his beautiful daughter...

(๑˃ᴗ˂)ﻭ Masterlist 2

#black reader #poc reader #eren x black reader #eren x poc!reader #aot x black reader #aot imagines

[keow]

Hi! This is a weird ask, but would you be willing to post resources/arguments about Christianity being true? Like, were there specific ones that convinced you to convert? I was raised Catholic but didn't really believe it growing up, but would like to have the same feelings about faith and peace that you posted about. I'm in a bit of a bad place right now and would like to go back and deepen my faith but it's hard.

This isn’t a weird ask, don’t worry! I’d love to provide you with some resources :) I’ll try to include both visual and auditory mediums as I don’t know what your learning style is.

I don’t mean to overwhelm you with information, please forgive me if this is too much 😗

I’m going to split this up into different categories of content here, based loosely around my conversion journey—i.e. what I had questions and doubts about. Please remember that faith is a very personal journey and you may have different concerns altogether, but hopefully this will give you a starting point to jump off of.

First: Arguments for the existence of God

Breaking in the Habit - What is God?  

The Thomistic Institute on the Five Ways

Pints with Aquinas - Explaining Thomas Aquinas’ Proofs

Pints with Aquinas - The Best Argument for the Existence of God W/ Trent Horn

Lumen - Arguments for the Existence of God (overview)

Subcategory: Near death experiences This is clearly anecdotal evidence and therefore not as strong, but I found reading about near death experiences to be extremely interesting. I liked browsing the NDE subreddit :) The common experience of SOMETHING among those who nearly die is at least indicative of there being more beyond the material realm, and by extension, a God. 

Second: Arguments for monotheism

This isn’t a common apologetics issue unless you’re a convert from a polytheistic religion (which I was), so there’s less content on this.

Pints with Aquinas — Aquinas on Why There Can’t Be Many Gods

Jordan Peterson on Monotheism

Third: How reliable are the Gospels? Did Jesus even exist?

Biblical Archeology Society - Did Jesus Exist? Searching for Evidence Beyond the Bible

Pints with Aquinas - Is the New Testament Really Historically Accurate? W/ Trent Horn

The Great Myths - History for Atheists  This is a SECULAR website created by an atheist seeking to correct the flaws in his fellow atheists’ arguments. Much to his chagrin, I found the website and now I’m a Christian. Here is their Jesus Mythicism series.

Influence - The Reliability of the Gospels

NAMB - The Historical Reliability of the Gospels

History - The Bible Says Jesus Was Real. What Other Proof Exists?

The Science of Apologetics on the historical accuracy of the Bible 

Answers in Genesis - How Do We Know the Bible is True? 

Fourth: Was Jesus the prophesied Messiah?

Jews for Jesus - What Proof Do You Have That Jesus is the Messiah?

The Top 40 Messianic Prophecies

Two Messiahs in Judaism: Ben David and Ben Joseph

Be Thinking - Messiah: Jesus, the evidence of history

Fifth: The Resurrection (and the events thereafter)

The Resurrection, Evidence, and the Scientist

William Lane Craig Debates Ben Shapiro about Jesus 

Did the Resurrection Really Happen? | William Lane Craig

Capturing Christianity’s interview with Dr. Gary Habermas Short highlight from that video the Science of Apologetics on Evidence for the Resurrection

Links from the bottom of that post: One, two, three, four, five

Sixth: Did Jesus claim to be God? Theology of the Incarnation and the Holy Trinity

The Thomistic Institute on the Trinity: The Triune God (Aquinas 101) The Persons of the Trinity (Aquinas 101)

Breaking in the Habit - Did Jesus Claim to be God? 

Trinity explained by CS Lewis: Christian "Trinity" Explained in 3 Minutes The Three-Personal God by C.S. Lewis

Christianity.com - Did Jesus Claim to be God?

Ryan Reeves - The Incarnation and Jesus Christ (In 90 Seconds)

The Thomistic Institute on the Incarnation: The Meaning of the Incarnation (Aquinas 101) Motives of the Incarnation (Aquinas 101)

Bishop Robert Barron - Understanding the Incarnation

Seventh: Miracles and saints just because I personally think they’re really fun!

Lessons from Lourdes: Our Lady of Lourdes and St. Bernadette

Pints with Aquinas - Scientific EVIDENCE for Eucharistic Miracles? w/ Fr. Terry Donahue

Actual information on incorruptible saints 

Our Lady of Fatima and the Miracle of the Sun

The Shroud of Turin: The Catholic Talk Show  Mr. Mythos  Lecture on the Shroud

Our Lady of Guadalupe

The miracles of St. Padre Pio

PDFS AND STUFF— Writings of saints, theologians, and apologists.

The Case for Christ by Lee Strobel

The Catechism of the Catholic Church

The (searchable!) Catechism of the Catholic Church

The Summa Theologica by St. Thomas Aquinas

Rome Sweet Home by Scott Hahn

The Imitation of Christ by Thomas à Kempis

Early Christian writings from the Church Fathers

Saints’ Books - A collection of free writings from Catholic saints

St. Augustine of Hippo: On the Trinity  Confessions 

Miscellaneous favorites:

The Thomistic Institute Ascension Presents Fr. Mike Bible in a Year Podcast The Catholic Talk Show Pints with Aquinas Pints with Aquinas - Apologetics Extravaganza with Trent Horn  Capturing Christianity Free Christian Apologetics Resources - Capturing Christianity Bible Illustrated  BibleProject Lectures on early & medieval church history by Ryan Reeves Breaking in the Habit / Catholicism in Focus Upon Friar Review Trisagion Films Servus Dei discord server

Apps: Hallow Catena: Bible and Commentaries The Chosen (This is a tv show! It has its own app. It’s really good and accurate to the Gospels.)

My personal tips section :)

While it’s very important to have a logical foundation for religion, PLEASE don’t underestimate the power of simply sitting with God in prayer. That’s the most important thing. I love praying the rosary, practicing lectio divina, praying novenas, reading the psalms, etc. Prayer shouldn’t always be scripted either. The pre-written prayers are helpful for when you aren’t really sure what to say or where to start, but you should speak to God from your heart as much as possible. Sometimes prayer doesn’t even have to be verbal! Sometimes it’s just a state of being.

Music also goes hand in hand with this. Hymns can really help you get into that religious spiritual headspace when you feel disconnected from God. Here’s a channel that posts some good ones. Read the Bible. When in doubt, just read it or listen to someone else read it. It’s truly the inspired Word of God. For a while it was really hard for me to connect with Jesus for some reason, but reading the Gospels has been instrumental in building a stronger relationship with Him. It’s kind of a given but you might have the same blockages as I did.

A good way to learn more about Christianity, the Church, and her saints is to keep track of the Church calendar. For instance, find out what important feast days/holidays are coming up, then research and learn about them around the time that they occur. Okay that’s pretty much it! Feel free to DM me about anything (I love theological discussion). I hope things get better for you--trust that I’ll be praying for you. Have a lovely day!

#yes im pinning this. who’s gonna stop me 😏

[pwarkluv]

❝ what is love? - l.mk ❞

lee mark x reader | fluff | 2k words

WARNINGS | lowercase is intended, idol au, love at first sight au, 6thmemberofitzy!reader, shy!mark and shy!reader, fluff bc that’s what i’m best at LOL, another request :), just enjoy <3

REQUEST | “hii i read ur electric love fic w jisung and i really loved it :DD could you do the same for mark ? still as the 6th member of itzy ofc :D” - my lovely anon <3

SUMMARY | he wonders what is love, but finds the answer in you.

AUTHOR’S NOTE | inspired by the song “what is love” by twice (english lyrics by genius translations)! ANOTHER REQUEST HDSFKLDSJHF IM SO SO SO SO EXCITED! i wanted to change up the setting so it’s still 6th member itzy, but not in weekly idol :P ALSO this was inspired by when nct dream, itzy, and stray kids sat next to each each other in that one award show so yeah lolol. IM SO SORRY I LOST THE MESSAGE WHERE MY ANON ASKED FOR IT BUT I STILL WROTE IT FOR YOU! I LOVE YOU, THANK YOU, NEVER BE SHY TO DM ME ;)

what is love?

mark knew the general idea of it; the sappy moments movies show, the “butterflies in your stomach” feeling books portray, the pain and hardships songs make you feel. 

but he’s never been in love, at least not like this.

❝ how could it be as sweet as candy? ❞

training at such a young age molded mark into the perfect idol, and with that he was fully aware dating would look bad to the public. he accepted the fact that he might never find love, all to help achieve his dream. 

but as cheesy as it sounds, the canadian wished to be loved. 

yes he was loved by his members, his family, his friends, his fans; but the type of love he longed for was something none of them could give him. 

mark wanted to feel the sweetness of being in love, the giddiness you’d feel whenever you talk to them, the pounding of your heart whenever they’re near. he wanted to experience the overwhelming need to be with that person, like if they’re gone for too long it’s like you can’t breathe.

was being in love like making a song for the very first time? or was it like eating watermelon all the time?

so many questions with no answers, the boy left to wander in his own thoughts. 

❝ how it’s like flying in the sky? ❞

he smiled bittersweetly as the newly wed couple danced around in confetti, the sound of laughter and cheers resonating around the room. one of nct’s managers that had been with them since the beginning invited them to her wedding, to which the team obviously accepted. 

all 23 of them were happy for their noona who found her happy ending. mark could only watch in awe at the sight of the two lovebirds, the love and adoration for the other evident in the way they looked at each other.

his heart tugged a bit knowing he wanted something like that too. 

“being in love is like flying in the sky.” his manager explained to the boy as a makeup artist experimentally brushed strokes on her face. it was a couple hours before the ceremony when mark knocked on her hotel door, wanting to visit his favorite noona before she finally said ‘i do’. 

his question left his mouth before mark could fully register what he was about to say, the poor boy flushing a bit as the woman laughed at him. 

“are you in love mark? is that why you’re asking me how i knew i was in love?” she teased as mark stutterd, denying her accusation.

“n-no i swear!” he said as his manager continued laughing, the makeup artist having to pause a bit to let her get it all out. “i’m just curious.” mark said quietly trying to stop the heat from rushing up to his cheeks. 

“well being in love is a magical feeling.” the woman said, turning a bit serious. mark sat up straight as he listened intently. “when you realize you love someone, it can be a scary thing. love isn’t perfect mark, and i want you to know that. there are moments where you want to scream and rip your hair out, or cry to let it all out.”

the boy nodded in understanding, having a bit of knowledge from all the good breakup songs taylor swift writes about. 

“but it can also change your whole world.” she continued on. “it’s like seeing the world again for the very first time and the colors are more vibrant. it’s like having a permanent reason to be happy, and a reason to stay.” she explained as the mark sat quietly trying to comprehend it all. 

❝ i wanna know know know know, what is love? ❞

the poor boy’s head couldn’t wrap around the thought of you. 

his heart hammered in his chest as he secretly glanced at you, desperately trying to avoid suspicion from fans and his members. you were just too breathtaking, having the canadian looking back for more. 

the moment he first laid eyes on you, it was like an epiphany. you were the answer to all his questions.

so this is what it feels like, mark thinks to himself as he looks back on all the things he’s heard about love. 

the butterflies, the pounding of your heart, the “seeing the world in a whole new perspective”, mark felt everything and as much as he felt excited, he was scared.

as harmless as it sounds, award shows were a risky thing for idols. being surrounded by fans of different groups as well as said groups themselves always seemed to cause a bit of a stir between fans.

between dating rumors and rumors about beef between two idols, anything could happen.

but usually mark would be okay. he’s been doing this for a long time and knew how to behave.

however what he didn’t expect was to see you, the tiny rookie idol from the newly debuted girl group ‘itzy’. 

nct 127’s table was right next to yours which let mark have a clear view of your pretty eye smile as you laughed at something lia had whispered into your ear. your laugh was bubbly and contagious, the boy having to physically stop himself from wanting to laugh too. 

he was panicking, but mark couldn’t tell if it was in a good or bad way. 

❝ what does love feel like? ❞

your breath hitched as you saw the boy sneak glances at you from the corner of your eye.

the mark lee was looking at you, your heart racing as you tried to deny the fact that he was staring you down. there was no way the dude you’ve looked up to your entire trainee life is noticing you, no way at all.  

everyone has heard of mark lee even if you weren’t into kpop. he was just that iconic. 

you’ve been an nctzen since the very beginning, being there for nct u’s debut stage. in fact, nct was the very reason you decided to audition to become an idol in the first place. you looked up to the team but more importantly you looked up to a certain canadian in the group.

originally doyoung was your bias in nct when nct u first came out. but as the years passed by you found yourself more and more intrigued by mark, having him absolutely wreck your bias list.

since then you’ve been a loyal mark stan, even rapping his part in cherry bomb for your audition tape which ultimately led you to become an idol yourself. 

you refused to believe you were in love with the dude, not knowing a single thing about him. there was no way you could love him, not if you’ve never even met the boy.

but your heart seemed to prove you wrong as it beat wildly knowing mark was sitting right there on the table next to you. 

“you okay bubs?” lia asked in a worried tone, leaning in to whisper into your ear. she saw the way your leg bounced in a fast rhythm, knowing you only did that when you were nervous. 

you forced a smile as you hesitantly looked her way, knowing that she could take one look into your eyes and know you were lying. “i'm fine unnie, don’t worry about me.” you replied as sweetly as you could, wishing the elder wouldn’t notice a thing. 

though you two and yeji were the eldest in the group, all being born in the year 2000, you were the baby of the unnie line. lia and yeji knew you the best, having grown up with you after all. 

the girl only gave you a look before taking your hand in hers to give a soft squeeze. “i know you’re lying but i won’t push you. also mark lee from nct 127 is totally checking you out.” lia said, whispering a bit on the last part. she winked as you flushed, looking away in horror. 

-

johnny nudged the boy next to him with a small smirk, clearly seeing the heart eyes he was giving the girl in the table next to them. mark jumped a bit at the feeling, looking at his hyung with confusion.

“so y/n of itzy?” johnny said with a small smile as the younger immediately sat up straight. 

“is it that obvious?” mark whispered back with a hint of fear in his eyes.

if any of the fans were to get a hold of this… the boy could only shiver at the thought. 

johnny’s playful smile dropped a bit at mark’s worried look knowing how he must feel. they were idols after all.

“don’t worry, i only noticed because she was looking back at you too.” he said, mark flushing at the revelation.

“really?” he asked a little out of it. 

“i say talk to her after this?” the elder said, laughing a bit when mark jumped in his seat, immediately saying no. 

❝ will love come to me someday? ❞

“unnie why are you making me stay in the dressing room~” you whined as the end of the award show came along.

you just wanted to go home, your body worn out. not from all the dancing but from the way it viciously pounded in your chest whenever you ever thought about mark. 

lia only smirked in retaliation as she brought a hand up to squish your cheeks. “trust me, you’ll thank me later.” she said as she walked out of the dressing room, bumping into a 6 foot tall boy with a smaller boy behind him. 

“oops sorry.” she said a little playfully, as lia gave a wink to johnny knowing their plan was going accordingly. johnny only gave her a small smile, but if you looked closely you could see the mischief in his eyes. 

“hyung where are we going?” mark asked, a little weirded out by the two’s interaction. johnny only ignored the boy, dragging him by his arm as they walked down the hallway. 

“hyung i swear if this is a prank i’ll-” mark’s words were cut off as the two entered a door, only to see your confused face staring back at him. 

“oh shit.” he cursed under his breath, a little taken aback from how beautiful you were. one whole award show later and you were still as gorgeous as when he first saw you sitting down in the table next to his. 

your confused face quickly turned to an embarrassed one as you noticed the boy, turning another shade of red when you noticed he couldn’t take his eyes off of you.

“hi y/n, my name is johnny and this is my band mate mark.” the taller boy said, holding his hand out in a handshake. 

“h-hi i’m y/n.” you stuttered, not expecting to see the boy you’ve been daydreaming about for the past two hours to be right in front of you. 

mark gawked at the sight of you, his mind malfunctioning as the words seemed to get stuck at the tip of his tongue.

“markie right here has something he wants to ask you.” johnny said, pushing the younger in front of him with a grunt. 

this seemed to knock him right out of his trance, a hand coming up to the back of his neck as he stared down at the floor with pink cheeks.

“do you maybe wanna-”

“yes.” you blurted out, a hand covering your mouth in shock. “i-if you were gonna ask if i wanted to hang out sometime, the answer is yes.” you said a little shyly as the boy smiled. 

all this time mark thought he was gonna find love, but maybe love found him instead. 

“i’ll pick you up at 6 tomorrow evening.” mark said with a sweet smile as he took a step back only to be pushed back up again by johnny.

“you don’t even have her number you dumbass.” the elder scolded, disappointed at how dumb the boy was. 

your laughter caught both of the boy’s attention as you put your hand out with a small smile. “you want my number or nah?”

#nct #nct fanfic #nct imagine #nct imagines #nct x reader #nct x y/n #mark lee #lee mark #mark #nct mark #nct mark fanfic #nct mark imagine #nct mark imagines #mark lee fanfic #mark lee imagine #mark lee imagines #lee mark fanfic #lee mark imagine #lee mark imagines #seo johnny #nct johnny #nct 127 #nct 127 x reader #nct 127 x y/n #nct 127 fanfic #nct 127 imagine #nct 127 imagines #nct dream #nct dream x reader #nct dream x y/n

[dealmeout]

how to make an episode of m*a*s*h with HD video, but no laugh track: an advanced guide

(under a readmore, because it's extremely long and technical)

(you've been warned. also i wish i could put a pic up at the top here but i can't upload any more images 😔)

welcome one and all to my silly guide. i feel kind of goofy because im sure someone's done this already, like... it's m*a*s*h... but at this point i feel like i've got the process working well for my own personal use, so i might as well detail it. let's jump right in!

you'll need:

two (2) copies of your chosen episode -- one 16:9 HD copy w/ laugh track, and one 4:3 SD copy without. any file format should be fine, MKV and MP4 are what i personally work with

audacity (+ffmpeg) - https://www.audacityteam.org/download/

mkvtoolnix gui - https://mkvtoolnix.download/downloads.html

disclaimer -- i'm not responsible for you nuking your m*a*s*h episodes/computer/etc. as a result of this guide. (it's pretty safe and we're not going to be saving over any existing files tho)

also i tried to write everything like i was doing it for the first time, but if stuff is glaringly wrong or you run into issues, please shoot me a DM/ask and i can help

lastly, this is definitely like... kind of a technical process, and i'm probably bad at explaining it. again, nothing is really at risk here, but if you don't feel comfortable doing it you might want to stick to your single SD/HD copy. and hey, i'll take requests -- if there's a scene you really want to see, just let me know!

still here? cool. there are two parts of this process:

create a properly timed audio track

add this audio track to our existing HD video track

part 1 - create the audio track in audacity

(first time only) audacity + ffmpeg setup:

install audacity

go to this page and follow the steps under recommended installer -> https://manual.audacityteam.org/man/installing_ffmpeg_for_windows.html

now we can import our episode's video files into audacity 👍

90% of the work is in this part. we're gonna be doing s04e08 (the kids) cause i wanna watch it later. let's start:

open audacity

drag and drop both of your video files in there. i recommend doing HD first, then SD

when it's done, you should see something like this:

okay SO

we're looking at a visual, spectrogram view (aka a spectral) of the audio track of the entire episode. when you see "hotter" colors like white-yellow-orange, that's basically like... the stuff that you and i can hear, so dialogue, music, all that. the height of the spikes correspond to the frequency of the audio. this is all getting kind of technical but you can read more about spectrals here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Spectrogram

i also made this picture and i think it's cool so im including it. imagine hawkeye explaining spectrals to you... wow he's so smart :)

ok back to what we're actually looking at. i've annotated it a bit below to show roughly how a typical ep is split up -- you can see we have our theme song, our 2 main parts, our end scene, and the ending theme.

the red highlighted areas are where we'll be working. if you zoom in on either pic, you can see that our sections are split up by black vertical lines -- in the world of spectrals, black = silence. these silent sections are where commercials/ads would be added in, and it's also where our 2 audio tracks fall out of sync.

most importantly, this is where we'll be deleting or generating parts of the audio track -- only inside these silent portions (which will be much bigger when we zoom in.) we don't want to touch any portions with actual audio data, cause that might make things sound weird.

important note/technical explanation: there are 4 spectral lines total because each audio track is stereo and has 2 channels -- left and right. when i say "top track" or "bottom track", i'm referring to the 2 L+R channels as one track. don't worry too much about left vs right channels individually, they're gonna be the same.

the process starts at the very beginning, with the opening theme:

move your mouse over to the very start of the spectral portion

a yellow line should pop up. (it doesn't matter which track you're on.)

click once

at the top of the main audacity window, find the "zoom in" icon (it's the magnifying glass with the plus sign) and click 8 or 9 times

you can also hold the ctrl key and scroll with your mouse wheel. the scrollbar at the bottom will let you move around horizontally

your view should look like this now -- we want to be seeing around 3 to 6 seconds at once.

check out the specs. the 4 main "points" of yellow/orange/pink literally correspond to the 4 guitar notes of the opening song... i think that's kinda cool. doo doo doo doo...

see how the top track is a little bit misaligned from the bottom track though? we need them to line up exactly, so...

find a common point or peak that you can recognize on both the bottom and top tracks

on the bottom track, click at the start of this peak

drag your mouse until the guideline hits the start of this peak on the top track. do your best to line it up, it might take a few tries at first

i’ve created a cute little gif so you can see how i do it:

now that we have our selection, we have to find out the exact difference in timing. look down at the bottom left, where it says "start and length of selection" -- we need the second small number there. this time it's 74ms, which honestly isn't a very big time difference at all (it's usually between .5 and 3 seconds)

but regardless, we need to remove these 74ms from the bottom track to make it sync with the top. but we don't want to remove any actual audio data. so:

in the bottom track, click and drag your mouse and create a selection with that magic number, but only in the area of silence, as shown below:

hit the delete key

the audio tracks should be in sync now, and the peaks should (more or less) match up

one way we can check is to click at the beginning, then hit space to playback. you should hopefully hear the theme song (it might be a little louder than normal since we're playing it twice)

if it doesn't sound right, or if your peaks didn't end up matching, hit ctrl-z to undo and try again

let's do the next part, which is after the theme song ends -- about 50 seconds in. zoom out (use the buttons, or ctrl + scroll your mouse) to find it, then zoom back in until you get a comfortable window where you can see the peaks

we can see that it's not matching up again, so follow the same procedure:

click and drag on the bottom track to make a selection

match your peaks

get the timing

remove that length of time from the bottom track

check that it matches the top

now i'm gonna talk about adding time to the bottom track, as opposed to the deleting that we've been doing so far.

so here we are about halfway in, between parts 1 and 2 -- we can see the tracks are waaaaay off, and this time our bottom track is ahead.

this time, click and drag from the top track. this is so we get our handy guiding line to come up on the bottom track. here's another gif:

our time difference is 2.766 seconds, so pretty substantial! to add time to the bottom track, just do this:

on the bottom track, click anywhere in the silent portion

select Generate -> Silence from the top toolbar

key in your duration (the time difference)

click OK and you should be all matched up!

and that's kind of it. you'll need to zoom out again and look for another section of silence, then realign the audio tracks. generally this needs to happen 5-6 times per episode, but it goes quicker once you learn your way around audacity

other tips and tricks:

if your finished SD audio ends up being a teensy bit longer than the HD, just clip it at the end to match the HD track (we want to match the HD audio track's length cuz we're using its video track.) select what's there and hit delete (audacity should "snap" to the end with a yellow line)

(i've only seen this in SD s1/s2 so far) you might have tracks with near-continuous audio, so no black portions at all. just do your best with silence generation/deletion, and always play it back so that you can tell by ear

if you notice an extremely substantial time difference (± 30 seconds) between files, or your black lines aren't matching up at all, this method probably won't work :( (this is actually what made me realize my copy of SD s4 was sped up)

i've only done this for seasons 1-4. i don't think 5-11 would be that much different, but you never know

will not work out of the box on s04e01 welcome to korea if your SD version is the whole thing but your HD version is the one they split for syndication. (i might try to cobble something together though)

probably won't work with gfa if it's split the same way? i dont want to think about gfa right now guys, i just got here

once you're done and it all sounds good, here's what you need to do to export your audio:

close out your HD (top) track by clicking the X next to the file name

click File -> Export -> Export Audio

save it wherever

for file type, pick FLAC file

level = 8, bit depth = 16-bit

click Save

click Clear, then OK

ok NOW we're done with part 1. you're a hero if you've made it this far, and your toil will be worth it. think about all the gay little jokes you'll be able to watch in sexy modern 1080p!

part 2 - combine audio + video in mkvtoolnix

(first time only) mkvtoolnix setup:

install it

all right all right this is super duper easy

open up mkvtoolnix GUI, you should see a big screen. drag and drop your original, HD video file in there

it should populate a little list of the elements that make up your video file -- so subtitles, video track, and audio track. uncheck the audio box to exclude the HD audio cuz we don't want her

go and find the audio track you made in audacity, drag and drop that in there too (if it says something about a new source file, just make sure the top bubble is selected and click ok)

here's what it should look like, more or less:

hit "start multiplexing" at the bottom

that's it!

watch your episode and have fun :) if it doesn't sound or look right to your eyes, you can always go back and mess with it again

...so yeah there you have it. i don't do this for every episode i watch because you are missing out on stuff visually with a 16:9 crop, but idk, it's kinda fun to do and zen-like once you get quick at it. i'm insane btw

some final notes/thoughts:

i know the spectral stuff is the biggest learning curve, but imo, doing it this way is probably least harmful to the source video/audio, since we're only cutting or generating audio in silent portions. the video track isn't changed at all

as you probably noticed by now, this was all done on windows, but audacity/ffmpeg/mkvtoolnix GUI is available for macOS/linux, so you could probably do this on those platforms too

if you have the DVDs a fresh rip would probably be the best source possible for the SD audio. i'm trying to get my hands on them now bc the audio in my SD copy definitely doesn't sound as good as the HD 😔

i know this whole guide is on how to remove it, but i swear i don't even hate the laugh track THAT much, like it's fine. i just like doing weird stuff on the computer

you don't need to remove the HD audio track in mkvtoolnix. if you want both audio tracks, you can just toggle between them

(only audio nerds will care about this) i really REALLY hate doing lossy -> lossless (FLAC) for the audacity export because it's just inflating the file size for no reason, but i'm not sure if there's a better alternative? like... personally, i would rather have a lossless copy of the lossy audio rather than risking an additional lossy transcode on it. but if that doesn't worry you you could probably export as higher-quality AAC and it would be fine, yolo

sooooo that's all for now! if you end up actually cutting an episode this way and the guide worked PLEASE tell me i would love to know... or if you have suggestions/comments/DMCA takedowns....... ok bye 🍸☮

#i cant reread this anymore so im just posting it. also omg that tiny pensive emoji #mash #m*a*s*h