#it's just opinion-based bullshittery

[emelinstriker]

About those 3 Anon messages recently...

Yes, there's 3 now. Third on came up while I was finishing typing about the 2nd one.

tl;dr context: peeps defending a fictional 2D lego character, questioning the morality of esau (despite the lack of lore context), as well as for some reason a personal attack on me... also smol chinese jesus??? :'D

DISCLAIMER:

I respect y'all's opinions and headcanons and whatnot. It's all valid. However. I expect respect on my own opinions and headcanons return. That's literally all I'm asking.

That's common sense and I will from this point on just delete anyone else's anon asks if they try to argue with me about my standings on these matters mentioned in here. Or this post in general.

There's literally no point in arguing over words written in a story, or debating whether or not pixels on a screen are hot or not.

With that disclaimer being said...

Case 1:

I'm fully aware of the entire discussion thing of Nezha being eternally 12 and all that, but I'm also fully aware of how LMK Nezha is more of a parody on the original. LMK Nezha is more of an adult 2D character who took the characteristics of the source, but then was turned into an aged-up parody.

It's not weird with the context of how things even came to be in the AU. It does involve a form of "infection" that changes those that are infected. In ESAU it's just slightly different from my original story's OCs to appeal more to the Reader. There are people out there who seek comfort in their own superiority complex too, especially if they can never explore that part of themselves normally. If that doesn't appeal to you, that's fine. But don't assume it's weird just because you don't like it if a fictional master/servant relationship isn't for you.

Now, this ask wasn't really bad or directly disrespectful. That was just basic questioning on the general relationship of the AU as well as the LMK Nezha being 12 discussion. So I went to bed, cuz I didn't wanna respond with my rather aggressive response to the topic. Like, I ranted about it to my Discord server, but it was already around midnight and I knew I'd come off as aggressive, despite the logic and facts, if I just copy n pasted the way I phrased the rant. So I went to bed. But then I woke up to an essay in another ask...

Case 2:

I'm assuming this is the exact same person, based on the timeframe and the writing style..? Maybe even the same person who asked that question about whether I'd make Nezha's relationship towards the Reader romantic or platonic..??

For the sake of this entire thing being unworthy of an unnecessary discussion, as well as the fact that the person sending this isn't worth directly responding to if they hide behind an anon face, knowing they would get flamed, I will solely respond to these for my actual viewers, who do enjoy ESAU.

As in, I noticed how almost every single point is easily arguable. Like, they literally just made it up as if every single relationship between the Reader and their champions is romantic. Which couldn't be further from the truth. This is a point I wanna get more into due to how it covers the Master System more. A random anon sending me questions, or rather statements, like this doesn't deserve to get a detailed response to this directly either. My viewers do deserve more insight though. Be it to avoid more people thinking this is automatically grooming, or just to give interested people more lore dump.

To keep it short: Everyone who wants to be a Reader, is a Reader. I myself am a Reader of fiction, which is why I use my persona to fill in the Reader's space in any drawing I do for ESAU. Which is also why Macaque referred to their Master currently being female in that one drawing- Because in that moment, in my drawings, I'm technically seen as their Master.

So when you see the champions swap between their Master using non-binary or female pronouns, this is why. If you see me draw them referring to their Master as a "she", they're referring to basically their current Master in that exact moment. However, literally anyone else can also be placed in that spot.

Whenever I refer to a Reader's reincarnation, I usually mean either "the same person, but another life" OR "different people of the same/a different life". As in, the Reader can imagine themselves having had multiple past lives, or their "past life" is actually another Reader. We're all the Reader. That's why I kept saying the Master System is rather philosophical.

The Reader can imagine themselves if they met their champions as a child or as an adult. However, nothing in ESAU is forced to be romantic or sexual. If you were born as a prince/princess/royalty, that doesn't mean your servants are immediately destined to be romantic or sexual with you, right? That entire portion is up to the Reader to decide and imagine. I do not control what another person thinks of and imagines. If they chose to pick a darker path, the fuck do you want me to do about that? Unless it ends up hurting anyone, or they actively push the topic onto others, I see no issue with however a Reader wants to think up what happens in their life with their servants. All I do is create material for others to play with.

Except for the First Master, any other Reader can be considered either the same person or various people. That's up to the person behind the screen, whether they feel more comforted with one idea or another.

On the Nezha being 12 topic... Do people know what a parody is, I-

LMK Nezha looks more like THIS-

Not as young as THIS-

And he was never said to be 12 years old in LMK. Nor does he look 12, act 12, speak 12, sound 12... LMK needs to be seen and accepted as more like a parody AU of the original story, if that wasn't obvious enough. I find it funny how they brought up my own age though-

Cuz yeah, I'm 21, almost 22, and I do understand the difference between reality's religions, fictional 2D pixels, and the difference between the source and a parody. Wow. Shocker. I know.

Or as I said it in tags earlier today-

Also I'd just like to add… If we go by the theory of specifically LMK Nezha still being 12, despite literally thousands of years having passed, his body being depicted as a fully grown adult in basically every single goddamn aspect of his character within the show… Literally all he got is his paperwork saying he's 12. Like- LMK Nezha would literally just be one of those people that were born on February 29th. Just him not getting any birthdays. Do you assume after literal thousands of years, with his body and mind being mature, and only his paperwork saying he's 12, this dude wouldn't be tryna explore more of himself and his interests, wh-

Like- LMK Nezha isn't the original source Nezha. Simple as that. Just accept it's a parody and be done with it. If you don't agree with it, that's your opinion and I respect that. But don't you dare fucking push that opinion on others who do actually accept the show as a parody and wanna live out their fantasies in said parody.

Your opinion does not mean it's the opinion of others.

Like, the entire age thing in LMK is such a headcanon thing to the point where no one seems to have a solid age, besides maybe MK, who I've seen people calculate his age for due to his driving license and all that. LMK Nezha is confirmed to be depicted as an adult within the show, which is the headcanon I'm going with, regardless of whatever bullshittery people are trying to argue with.

In conclusion: Nezha may be eternally 12 in a story. But that story is NOT Lego Monkie Kid.

On a side note, something I found ironic and funny, is if an aged up character isn't allowed to be sexualized, then I guess if someone ages a character down, suddenly that original source of the character is no longer allowed to be sexualized either, just because that character suddenly has a younger version of themselves. It's not even the younger version that's being sexualized. That literally is the entire logic of this debate on not wanting a fictional character to have an aged up version of themselves.

Good job, nobody wins. I guess nothing can be sexualized at that point- But then again, Rule 34 wouldn't exist then.

Okay, but now this, THIS is where I got REALLY annoyed, cuz NOW we're getting into more personal territory of nitpicking at ESAU. And those who know me are aware of how I go Asian mom mode when my creations, or younger friends and mutuals, are being wrongfully disrespected.

In general, their entire point is a snowflake-behavior nitpick. Branding is also seen as a way to claim ownership over something. The torture part is basically just the pain of it. I could've also just have the champions have one of those toy stamps for lil children be slapped onto them if you really wanna snowflake it all for tHe PrEcIoUs cHilDrEn...

C'mon. I grew up with FNAF and Creepypastas. Which tend to be usually two of the first fandoms I see children get interested in and hyperfixated on. Mentions of brandmarks that have fully healed ain't nothin' at all.

Like, I literally met a boy who was 8ish years old, who was so happy and hyped about FNAF that he asked me to draw Freddy and Bonnie.

Creepypastas also might make one edgy for a while, but they do grow A LOT from it once they leave that phase. So far, everyone I've ever talked to about Creepypastas in the past became such a good person. Because they look back, and recognize morals so much better. They have seen what bad things can happen and we all know where to draw the line between what's fine, and what's not. Nitpicking on LMK Nezha and ESAU doesn't mean anything since it's just that, nitpicking. I know where to draw the line, but this line these people set is a line no one but themselves can imagine.

Show children bits of reality's darker side and they will know how to deal with the knowledge much better and faster as they grow. That wasn't even just about branding, but I'm tired of people saying how we need to keep children safe. Well yeah, keep them safe physically, but they will never fucking grow and become more independent unless you fucking let them think and process the good AND the bad for themselves.

Also on the topic of adding content warnings- Like, the fuck do you want me to even add? Those asks other people sent of the Reader being basically raised by their servants need no warnings, X Readers in general need no warnings, the brandmarks need no warnings cuz they're just there as aesthetic symbols for anyone not invested in the lore, LMK Nezha needs no content warnings-

Literally the only content warning I'd ever need to add is something like gore, which I do admit I didn't add on the ESAU!Nezha X Reader one.

And I'd just like to add a little something that made me raise an eyebrow: They complained about me going against "Wukong's celibacy vows" when they literally admitted to actively looking through the LMK X Reader tag. While that doesn't necessarily mean they would marry or bang Wukong, that means they're at least curious or interested in what a relationship with any of those characters would be like. Which by all means, would not be possible without it being fiction/fanfiction, and without them having some curiosity or interest in the 2D show of LMK.

Like you're literally telling me I'm practically hurting a fictional character's feelings on the matter, but then turn around and try to get with another character.

Fanfiction and AU's are a thing, man. It's all opinions, headcanons, and literally made up shenanigans. And there's nothing wrong with it when it differs from one person to another.

But dumping empty accusations onto me, someone who thinks more logically than emotionally, literally doesn't help your case. Like, you're debating whether or not this 2D character would actually give a shit if someone would wanna bang them cuz they look hot to the other person.

Case 3:

This one just got dropped into my inbox as I finished typing out the last paragraph and just- This is literally just a unnecessary and only somewhat personal hatred thing at this point- But I'm wheezing at the idea of a smol Chinese Jesus-

Bro, as someone who was forced to be Christian on paper, but never gave a shit about it, because Religion doesn't prove anything or form you, I really don't care. And even if that were the case, I wouldn't complain. It's all fiction dammit. You're again, defending pixels on a screen. Besides that, that wouldn't even be the original source character, again. Also in general, honestly, I see any religious story as fiction anyway. Cuz that literally is what a religion is- You put a belief onto someone over a being/a story-

If you're religious, I respect that. But so do you have to respect that I'm not exactly religious myself.

Case 3 was probably the most directly aggressive one of the 3, but also the most unmeaningful one and so unnecessary one... as if that would be the one to prove a point.

Anyway, rant over, I'm done with this.

If I see any other personal hate on me for not sharing the same fucking opinion on such a niche debate, I'll just ignore and delete it all. This is such a pointless topic.

ESAU is supposed to be a comfort zone for those who actually do feel connected to it. If you don't, that's fine, I fully respect it. If people believe Nezha is 12, I respect that. But don't push that onto those who literally are just here to have a nice time away from shit like this. If you wanna "keep the children safe", fucking keep them away from this sort of nowhere-leading discussion topic.

Literally look at Genshin's Twitter Community, this just feels like the exact same type of unnecessary drama I see there.

And no I will not tag these 3 anons. If they respect me enough, they will either just keep quiet or block me and move on. I don't mind. But I refuse to let this bullshit be a whole ass discussion when I'm just trying to have a good time connecting to my viewers after a long day at work. If they look for a fight for some reason, I won't give them one. They can pick someone else for this bullshit, it's not worth my time as it's all OPINION AND HEADCANON-BASED.

And such debates don't end in peace. So I'd rather be the bigger, more mature person and just say "This is the line. Discussion over. We're done here".

Have a nice day, anyone who actually is nice and respectful towards others and their own takes/opinions on things! Weekend's here now tho so y'all ESAU lovers might see some wholesome lil doodles! :D

#lmk esau #eternal servants au #rant #the fact that all 3 are anons tho and 3rd one tells me to respond #but i'm over here still finding the anon part funny #like- easiest way to solve it is to literally just either block me or have me block you. problem solved. i won't change my opinion on thing #or just block the esau tags idk man #usually i wouldn't just say “ignore if you don't like it” #but in this case that's like the only option #this is a nowhere-leading topic that doesn't need to be discussed further #it's just opinion-based bullshittery #if you see nezha as 12 that's fine #if you see nezha as an adult that's also fine #neither side has to push their opinion onto the other #just let us have our fun and we'll let you have your fun. simple. just accept that humans and human minds differ from another.

[688199]

Astruc’s bullshittery: Debunking his tweets

Astruc’s tweets and claims about Felix is something I would never understand. He contradicts himself, for what? To make people hate Felix?

Case 1:

Sure he isn’t referring directly to this “version”. But when the PV was made, the concept of polar opposites was established, even shown through the early storyboards with Chat Noir presenting Ladybug with candles. It may not be a curse here yet, but it shows that Chat Noir was always meant to genuinely love Ladybug.

So it proves that the concept of Felix pretending to love Ladybug is a very “one-off” idea. Heck, even in the PV, you can see Felix being quite eager to transform. Does he look cursed to you?

Lastly, the existence of the 2012 bible is evidence that it’s possible to make Felix/ Chat Noir have an ulterior motive behind being flirtatious yet at the same time not moving away from his love for Ladybug.

Case 2:

In what way is this mysterious and evil? Again, even though Felix has the “Adrien” name in the bible, it’s obvious that Astruc is separating Felix (suit wearing, dark personality boy) with Adrien (the canon one).

It is true that Felix may be a bit evil, with that one singular image of him dropping an apple on Marinette’s head. But it’s a super early concept that isn’t present in the bibles (further supported by the fact they are shown to be able to use powers without transformation, and Felix being a pure misfortune manipulator.), meaning the idea didn’t reach that far into pre production.

That version of Felix is also shown more in Quantic Kids concepts, and even then, he was shown being slightly affectionate towards Marinette (cue that image of him smiling at her).

Instead of mysterious and evil, Felix had been long moulded more into someone who is driven, confident and dark (sarcastic). There’s way more art and descriptions depicting him that way.

Astruc even contradicts himself here when he says he cannot imagine Marinette liking Felix because it’s so clearly stated here why she does.

Not only that, Felix is written to have a soft side which he doesn’t show others. He even has fondness towards Marinette. But he doesn’t allow himself to fall in love. This means he actually sees himself falling for her if he gets distracted.

Overall, Felix might have underwent a very rough patch with him being mysterious and evil like what Astruc says (though in the fandom this version is often referred to as Nathan), but the development of his character shows that there was a lot of focus on improving Felix.

The time where Felix officially “became” Adrien is a few months after the earliest bible we have, where you can see the most changes being applied to the “Adrien” name. He doesn’t have a picture attached to the description (showing how they were still coming up with his design), he’s Papillon’s son, and has the goal of wanting to fit in rather than healing his leg. This is “Adrien” and no longer “Felix”.

Based on what Astruc said, he came up with “Adrien” because blah blah blah, but the Felix we’re seeing in the earliest bible is the same Felix he was dealing with before he came up with “Adrien”. Which, in my opinion, had quite a bit of depth to him that could be written well.

So is Astruc just straight up lying/ exaggerating Felix’s development and character in order to justify his decision to replace him with Adrien?

Adrien is significantly easier to write about as he’s more one dimensional, whereas Felix has a lot more inner conflict happening.

Maybe that’s why Astruc said: “Try writing Felix for 72 episodes”. He’s admitting to being a bad writer :/

#ladybug classic #precanon ladybug #ladybug precanon #ladybug pv #felix sphinx #thomas astruc #he can go fuck himself

[lnkedmyheart]

am i the only one really disappointed by the new episode? like, i do like it bc it shows how far dazai has came (his words abt trust to fyodor and him not making any snarky remarks towards nikolai after fyodor's death) but it just felt so underwhelming. and just left more and more questions instead of answers.

Imo one of the reasons we feel disappointed is because it took the manga a years and a half to get to this point when it canonically took all of 30 minutes in canon. We sat there making theories upon theories, over analysing every little detail because we were stressed as hell for a year. However, the plan wasn't that out of left field to be entirely honest with you and it feels very soukoku. As for the general plot points that don't add up,

The anime often rushes through several chapters in the manga.

This arc isnt fully over yet. Fyodor's death is very sus given that he just mentioned a previous rival AND his ability is still a mystery till Sigma wakes up. Which has also been foreshadowed with the claim that "he will never wake up again" yeah that's a very in your face remark and it will come back around with Sigma waking up at a crucial point.

We still have the storm, verlaine and the clocktower. I genuinely don't believe this arc is done entirely and it will have a lasting effect going forward and imo will come back in some way.

Again the whole skk thing isn't that far off from their usual bullshittery during missions. Considering a majority of the theories turned out to be true. The elevator theory, the fake out theory, the skk have a plan theory as well as potentially the dazai wasnt 100% sure chuuya could hear him and come through theory based on his words that he didnt know everything.

@iwritenarrativesandstuff mentioned that they'll write an analysis on why they feel it might be bad writing in their opinion so keep an eye out for that. I personally am slightly conflicted but feel that I can't judge the ending unless I see what happens in the manga cause bones does have a habit of really rushing to the end and skipping important points.

#there was definitely a lot of set up for a good skk conflict #but i guess the kicker is that skk dont have conflict and it becomes pointless for them cause thats how well theu get each other #its a little like when people were mad that so much emphasis was put of Mikleo being an easy to corrupt element but he never git corrupted #cause there was so much set up for an angsty payoff #but it never happened and disappointed the fans #when the point was that his faith in and love for Sorey was so great that he couldn't be corrupted dispite being a water element.

[an-architect-of-words]

Thinking about the characters from The Secret History and Ninth House/Hell Bent meeting. Here are my guesses.

- Immediately, Mercy would wholeheartedly hate Bunny.

- Tripp would like Bunny and protect him from Mercy’s attempts at maiming him. Tripp and Bunny would bond over jokes and sports. Because Tripp is honest about his parents cutting him off, Bunny wouldn’t usually try to extort him but would like talking to him about his wealthy childhood.

- Tripp is the ONLY member of the Lethe crew who would like Bunny. Darlington would find him slovenly (also Bunny would make fun of him for attending Knights of Columbus picnics as a kid). And Bunny would make racist and/or sexist comments to the others, so they don’t fraternize with him. Dawes could perhaps tolerate him because she’s into caring for people and cooking for them and appreciates when people need her for things. However, her tolerance all hinges on if Bunny says nice things about her food. If he praises it, she would excuse him here and there. If he’s a douche canoe about it, she will loathe him.

- Alex and Richard understand each other on the grounds of both being California kids who moved to out east to the university life to escape their garbage situations. Alex, here and there, gets annoyed at Richard for being too dramatic.

- Francis and Mercy would get along, just based on a major vibe I have. Their fashion is different but they appreciate the other’s eye for style and like each other’s attitude. However, due to her having been drugged and taken advantage of before, Mercy would be severely perturbed if she learned how Francis seduces inebriated people. She’d also correct him for classicist comments and he’d actually apologize because he likes her too much to ruin their friendship.

- Francis would be amiable with Dawes and Darlington. He’d not like Tripp very much. Turner and Alex wouldn’t like Francis. They’d both find him just so spoiled.

- Turner would take one look at the Greek kids and be like “Oh HELL no.” He’d immediately sense they did something screwed up, and he would be the one to try to get to the bottom of it. Let’s be real, Turner would have solved the case in TSH. Had he interrogated them, he would have seen past Henry and Charles’s bullshittery.

- Dawes would ADORE Charles. Just full on love him. They’d have a brief spat over him trying to help her cook, but then he understands that that’s just her thing, and he always says please and thank you and smiles at her— and she’s an absolute sucker for that. She’d fall for everything.

- Similarly, Dawes would get drawn in by Henry’s gentlemanliness and like cooking for him. But she’d also be intimidated by him. She doesn’t really talk to him because he makes her anxious.

- Dawes and Camilla would not really vibe, but stay fairly cordial especially around the rest of the group.

- I think Alex would shift opinions on Henry a few times before firmly disliking him. She’d find him snooty then kind of level with him (since he’s actually kind or nice and good with lower classes supposedly?) but then she’d pick up on the truth of his insanity and be SO no-patience with it. In fact, she’d rage at Richard for excusing the Greek class so much.

- Tripp would hit on Camilla then get beaten within an inch of his life.

- Henry, Richard, Francis, and the twins would be annoyed by Tripp but also handle him well and be able to joke a lot about him. They call him “Diet Bunny” behind his back.

- Darlington and Henry would be close at first. They both value proper etiquette and academics. They practice talking to each other in all their languages, and Henry is impressed by how many Darlington knows. They are delighted when they can quote things and have the other immediately know the reference. They’d have a late night heart-to-heart about their ideals, fascination with magic, and desires to find the greater things in this life. But, at some point or another, Darlington would start to question Henry and realize there’s so much evil in him. This creates a distance that Henry is disappointed by.

- Richard looks up SO MUCH to Darlington, and Darlington proceeds to be somewhat of an actually good influence on him.

- Camilla, Alex, Mercy, and Dawes would all go out for a girls’ night because they feel like they have to. It gets off to an awkward start, but then they find they have a lot to talk about and enjoy the outing. But Camilla remains a little too aloof for them to get really close.

- Tripp would somewhat respect Richard for making it so well without the support of his parents or their money. He asks for tips.

- Darlington would be initially kind of attracted to Camilla but, like with Henry, he starts to sense bad things about her. His experience with Camilla ends up only making him find Alex even more genuine and like her more.

#the secret history #tsh #donna tartt #richard papen #henry winter #bunny corcoran #charles macaulay #francis abernathy #camilla macaulay #ninth house #hell bent #leigh bardugo #alex stern #darlington #mercy zhao #Tripp Helmuth #Abel Turner #pamela dawes

[presidentbungus]

nothing I ever write can go to waste now. which is unfortunate for you guys since that means I get to force my half-baked ideas onto Your dash and nothing you do will stop me

anyway here’s valentine’s day flash fire bullshittery. the first part of several I did not end up writing. maybe next year. Enjoy anyway

Pyro’s room is basically the perfect place ever, at least in Scout’s opinion. Like, whatever the smart guys say—bubonic ideal or something—Pyro’s room is the bubonic ideal of rooms a hundred percent. Like, you step in and you crane your neck all around and it’s just colors, paint and stickers and drawings and pictures and stuff all around the walls, and just open sketchbooks and pencils and crayons and markers absolutely everywhere. Drawing guy paradise. And in the middle of the whole thing, blocking the window that has its panes painted black anyway, is a TV. Like seriously.

And it’s kinda not fair cause Scout’s not allowed to have a TV in his room since he broke the one in the rec room and Engie took his to make up for it, plus he needs to spend more time with the team anyway or something and he said Engie you’re not my freaking dad and Engie pointed at Spy and—

And that’s not important. Low-hangin’ branches anyway, or whatever the phrase is. Right now he’s laying on a bean bag he stole from the rec room and catchin’ baseball an’ throwing back Bonks and he’s sittin’ right next to his best bud in the best place in the whole world, so it doesn’t matter anyway. Life’s good. Mumbles’s got their nose stuck between the first and second ring of a three-ring scrapbook, smashin’ a gluestick probably hard as they can into the paper—Scout looks down and sees pink, an’ sparkles, and hearts, and then he looks back up and swallows.

They seem to know he’s lookin’, cause in the next minute gloved hands rub across his shoulder—and he looks back over, sees Py with a thumb hooked under their mask, tugging it up to reveal a chin crossed with scars (he’ll never ever admit to dreaming about tracing his thumb across them, sittin’ on the bottom bunk of the double in his bedroom all smushed up together under the hardwood and maybe he should stop thinking about it).

“Scoutie,” they say—grab the half-empty Bonk next to Scout and slug back some of it while their mask is already up, tossing it at the little trash can and missing totally (all that flamethrowin’ don’t do much for their aim). “So I’ve been thinking a bunch.”

He opens another Bonk since Pyro stole his and chugs it down—maybe he should slow down like Engie always says. “Uh-huh.”

“You know how Valentine Day is, like… soon?”

It’s probably a good idea to stop too ‘sidering his heart is thumping very fast all of a sudden. “Uh-huh.”

“You remember how for Smissmas last year we hung lights all over the place and dragged in a tree from outside and got everyone to give presents ‘n stuff?”

“… Uh-huh.”

“Maybe we could do somethin’ like that for Valentine Day.”

“Like decorate the base ‘n stuff?”

Pyro’s mask snaps back down over their face and they shut the book in front of them with their thumb tucked between the pages, wordlessly handing it to Scout.

He’s a lil’ scared, to be honest, and his heart is beating somewhere in his throat area, an’ he opens the book to the page they’ve marked and sees pink, and lots ‘a hearts, and a bunch of squares waiting to be filled with photos. And a messy cursive scrawl at the top that Scout has to take a second to piece together.

Pyro waits for him, even though he has to mouth the letters out loud—and he eventually comes up with “successful couples”, and the empty squares make sense, and he says “Successful couples???” to Pyro and Pyro laughs and he laughs too even though he doesn’t really get it.

“Valentine Day is coming up and there’s not one couple on base and I think that sucks.”

Scout isn’t sure what to do with this information. “… Okay?”

Pyro takes the book back from him, flips back a page, shows it to Scout. Scout looks down at a weird mishmash of pictures—cut up, glued back together, taken… whatever the term is. Outta context. To look weird.

“Potential couples,” Pyro says, as if it is the plainest and most obvious thing in the whole entire world.

“Potential couples,” Scout says back.

“Uh-huh.”

He looks down, around the bottom-middle of the right page, sees a photo of Sniper—he might’ve been drinking a thinga beer or something, in the original picture, but he’s cut out and pasted next to Spy an’ Spy’s in the same boat an’ it looks like—

Eugh. Ew. Scout closes the book and pushes it back into Pyro’s hands, and Pyro just dumps it on the floor and a few little glittery hearts flutter out onto the ground that they don’t seem to care about.

And Scout says: “Why.”

Back up goes the mask—it occurs to Scout that he’s missed half the game at this point and that kinda sucks but Pyro starts pacing around the room and Scout can’t take his eyes off. “Scoutie, we’re starting a dating business.”

“We?”

“Yes.” Ok then. “Now it took me ages but I think I figured out who everyone should be with,” Pyro says, simply. “Demo and Solly are together, obviously. I think even you’d figure that one—“

“Hey!”

“It’s okay if you’re no good at this, Scoutie. Leave it to the expert.”

“I’m great at matchmaking and shit, I dunno what you’re talkin’ about.”

Pyro stops in their tracks, looking at him.

“I, uh…” Think fast, Scoutie. “I got a great couple, I think, that we could definitely make happen. Or you could make happen, I mean. If you wanted.” One time when he was in sixth grade his brother Jim got struck by lightning when he was playing on the monkey bars. Does lightning go through ceilings? It feels like an important question right now.

“I don’t think so,” Pyro shrugs, and well fair enough, and they start pacing again. “An’, like, Heavy and Spy—“

“Gross,” Scout says, mainly outta habit.

“—I dunno. I know it seems weird but… there’s some chemistry there. Plus I think Heavy’d really ground Spy and—“

“And—and he needs that bad.”

“See!” Pyro claps their hands together and the mask snaps back down, and they mutter something incomprehensible before raising it back up and repeating: “Yeah, uh-huh. Engie and Medic obviously. And I think that just leaves us, and we’re already best buds so that works out!”

“Best…” This feels worse than it probably should. “Best buds, yeah. You know it.”

#bungus’ unfinished fics garbage pile #flash fire #pyroscout #valentine’s day #tf2 #tf2 pyro #tf2 scout #flashfire

[ghost-cheeks]

ya girl has OPINIONS on the Tales of Arcadia ending.

There were a lot of things I was expecting from this wrap-up of a great series. And I got...none of them, actually.

Did not get Steve/Eli dynamics with Steve's new slightly less douchey attitude.

Did not get Steve in general outside of being some weird mpreg punchline. V much tuned that out.

Did not get Claire's hair going completely white after pulling a whole-ass Titan through a shadow portal.

Did not get Douxie doing....anything. Loved his dynamic with Nari and I wanted MORE. Also, why did he not lose his everloving shit after Archie got stuck in Chinese Trollmarket?

Did not get Jim stepping back into more of a non-combat leadership role. That is to say, "Yes, I don't have my armor right now, that is being worked on. In the interim, I am confident in my skills as the Trollhunter of SEVERAL YEARS, and will strategize and organize until that shit gets fixed. My worth is not based on my battle prowess."

Did not get Jim grappling with actually being human after quite some time as a troll. tbh, I was actually upset when they made him human again in Wizards, and think it's kind of a disservice to him as a character for REASONS.

Did get kaiju battles so that's a plus

Fully expected time travel bullshittery, but did not want the erasure of six years of character development and relationship building. Honestly thought Jim would pop back to like...key deaths and then just...save them. The lore was pretty loose regarding the Time Stone, so I honestly figured that since he stuck it in the new amulet, he'd be able to control when and where he traveled to. LIKE A FOOL

Did not get StrickLake wedding scene. BARBARA GOT DONE DIRTY.

Also, Blinky and Aarrrgh did like...zero things as well.

My biggest issue with the complete reset of the timeline is that now we have two divergent timelines, one of which has everyone fucking suffering and basically being abandoned by Jim. He's not going back to that timeline because he literally can't. So now his mom, his girlfriend, and all of those survivors are just...stuck in this post-apocalyptic world by themselves. They have to carry on while Jim forges a new timeline.

Also, Toby getting the amulet does both him and Jim a disservice. The series went through great pains to demonstrate that it wasn't the amulet that made Jim a hero, it was his heroic personality traits that made the amulet choose him. Also, we saw what happened when Jim tried to shirk his Trollhunter responsibilities before and there's no way Toby would be able to just "la dee da" replace him.

And say he does. He has to fuckin one day learned that Jim PLANNED this. That Jim is going to literally use him to shift events in ways that Jim knows will make a “better” future. That Jim was (and might still be) the OG Trollhunter and that Toby will always play second fiddle to Jim.

And don’t get me started about how Jim loses TWO father figures with the time reset. His relationship with Blinky won’t be the same. And his relationship with Strickler DEFINITELY won’t be. I’m mad about this because the bullshit that Jim went through as the Trollhunter really cemented Blinky as his stand-in father figure. And tbh the shit with Strickler had to happen for them to form the solid bond that they apparently developed offscreen (???) that was displayed in ROTT.

Fuckin…I could go on about how Claire loses a huge chunk of herself and her relationship with fuckin NotEnrique is just gone now. Douxie gets shafted because he worked SO HARD for everything he has at the end of Wizards: Merlins approval, his self-confidence, and general badassery, and he just…loses it all.

I don’t like time travel and I hate timeline resets on principle; it’s a bullshit cop-out plot device. I have never consumed media where I enjoyed a timeline reset. This is no exception.

#Tales of Arcadia spoilers #toa rott spoilers #long post #cut for spoilers #hey guess what theres spoilers in here #here be spoilers

[crestfallercanyon]

So, since my active fandoms have literally no overlap, I was thinking of doing a major overhaul of both here and ao3.

TLDR at the bottom.

What this would mean is that all my maze runner stuff would go under a new pseud on ao3, (crestfaller belongs to coldflash first) and I would have a linked blog here under the same pseud, and thus it wouldn't be so much contrast. And on here, this would still be my main blog, and all my fics would probably make an appearance here, but most of my bullshittery stuff -- reposts and things -- would be a bit more curated.

Not sure how much this is actually necessary -- I know many people have many fandoms underneath one large umbrella, and that's all good. However, part of me is screaming for better organization.

No one's complained. Because people are lovely, and the fandoms I take part in are filled with literally the best people, and also I don't have a super active following, but it's just... This underlying feeling.

I mean, yes, being a fandom content creator is something I do entirely for free, for my own enjoyment. This isn't a capitalistic endeavor where I've got to be gaining claps like tinkerbell lest I wither up and die. Therefore, this all doesn't have to have better organization. I love having people engage with me, but if they are so turned off by one fandom as opposed to the other, it's not really any skin off my nose.

On the other hand, I am a content creator who is so, so grateful for every person who decides to engage with my stuff, and I don't want to make anyone annoyed or agitated based on the flip-flopping of what I'm talking about and lack of consistency. I can understand how that would be annoying -- heck, I've gotten annoyed by it in other instances. It could be preferable to others to have only things that are relevant in their appropriate spaces.

I mean, y'all are still coming to the same, very small, concert. I would just have two stages now instead of one with two mics. Which might be cleaner.

But that could also be the wrong metaphor. Maybe this isn't a concert, rather it's a classroom, and now I'm trying to teach two classes and I can't be in two places at once and overwhelm myself unintentionally.

(not that I'm teaching you, or a performer -- the metaphors don't matter except they are how I talk things through to myself and now how I talk to you).

There's also the fact that I also have stuff that has nothing to do with either fandom that sometimes comes up. Hmmmm.

Any thoughts? Any opinions? Anyone done this and loved it/regretted it?

TLDR: Thinking of doing an overhaul over my tumblr and ao3 to separate my fandoms so that things are a bit more sorted by relevance, but I'm not sure that's necessary. Thoughts?

#bouncing between fandoms #fandoms #organization #fandom question #organization question #thinking out loud #thoughts? #opinions? #just rambling now #fanfic writing problems #content creation for fandoms #being a blogger #(a very crappy blogger but a blogger all the same)

[themyscira-server]

Announcing the Rad Lesbian Separatist Discord!

if you’re a lesbian who’s a radical feminist (or at least leans that way) who’s looking for a lesbian-only space, this just might be the place for you!

Themyscira, named after the infamous women-only island, is a discord server created after the latest separatism-is-evil discourse in radfemblr a little while back, when the homophobia really jumped out. I made it for those of us who wanted a space where we could discuss both political and not topics without having to deal with homophobia, or general hetero bullshittery.

this blog is new and specifically made to advertise, as my personal blogs are all “stealth” and would be impossible to advertise on, but I’ve been a part of radfemblr for a good 10 years now. users such as:

@appropriately-inappropriate

@hidetothink

@lilith-apologist

@joanofrad

@nervousfeminist

can all vouch for me if needed.

we have all kinds of channels all nicely organized for your convenience!

we have:

recommendation channels: for all your fave movies/books/anime/TV shows/ext

nerdy channels: D&D, gayming, sci-fi, even a bot for catching Pokémon!

labor of love channels: crafting, art, writing, language learning, even cooking!

after dark channels: adult(18+ only), spooky, and plenty of spilled Tea~

(note: you do not have to be 18+ to join, all 18+ channels are locked for those under 18)

we do have some ground rules.

first, when you join you’ll automatically be placed in arrival, where you will wait for ether myself or one of my mods to approve you. simply let us know who you are and who gave you the invite link so we can ether approve you there or confirm you’ve already been approved.

once you’ve been given the member role you’ll be able to see the rest of the server and officially join us!

the rules themselves are pretty straightforward.

*rad-leaning actual homosexual women only. you don’t have to actually consider yourself a radical feminist. many of us don’t after dealing with a large amount of homophobia from radical feminists, with things like “political lesbianism” being seen/treated as a core belief, separatism treated as an evil ploy by vindictive lesbians out to make hetero women miserable, ext. I stopped identifying as a radical feminist a while ago, but this channel is for actual homosexual women who recognize biological sex, oppression based on sex, ext, and you don’t have to actively consider yourself a radfem to know these things.

*no abuse. all debates, should you have them, need to be kept civil and friendly. we are free to agree to disagree, but if you feel a belief or opinion of another member is beyond that, inform a mod or myself. personal insults, harassment, and Mean Girls-esque cliques are prohibited. we’re all friends here.

*no slurs. it's one thing to refer to yourself with a slur you've reclaimed, but do not do so for someone else without their permission. this also includes the use of words such as tr*nny and f*ggot. these words have a history of bloodshed and oppression and regardless of modern politics should be avoided. modern words such as “troon” have no such history and pretty well only refer to modern bullshittery and therefor, for now, are acceptable. if you feel a word may be questionable, ask ahead of time.

rule of thumb: if you replace the comment with the slur with another minority group, if it sounds like something someone on fox news or the 700 club would say (ex: “the tr*nnies are targeting our children!” -> “the f*ggots/q*eers are targeting our children!”) you need to rephrase it. your point may be valid and entirely factual, but if your wording is hateful it will get you nowhere. if it is truly valid and factual and without hate, it can be reworded to reflect that. if it can’t, it may not be as factual and accurate as you think it is.

*no bigotry. things like racism, ableism, ext are not acceptable. and yes, that does include actual transphobia. many may think that's obvious, but as we tend to see in radfemblr, it isn’t always so obvious, so I gotta say it anyway. treat your sisters the way you'd like to be treated; do no harm but taking no shit. and if you see some shit, flag down a mod or myself. flame wars help no one. don’t waste your time once you realize what you’re dealing with.

*for these reasons, users such as toppdyke and those who associate with her or act in a similar manor will not be accepted. ya’ll are absolute drama lamas at best and I’m not having that shit in my server. sorry not sorry.

if you’d like to join us just like/reblog this post (if only advertising/signal boosting please say so in your tags) or send me a message, along with any questions you might have!

I hope to see you there!

#radfem #radsafe #lesbian safe #lesbophobia #idk what to tag this so people see it

[lapeaudelamemoire]

Really tired of getting bad marks on assignments I actually tried at. While I know that trying at something doesn’t automatically mean good marks, it really tries my patience when bullshitting through something gets better marks, distinctions or high distinctions rather than trying to do an actually good job.

And this isn’t just limited to my really increasingly exasperating field; but shit politics and shit work tends to get good ‘results’, for some inane reason.

Like the classmate I had who literally lied their way through an assignment and being so bold as to include the transcript which directly provides evidence of contradiction against his work, plus the basically what was repetition in introduction and abstract getting distinction status.

This latest assignment I don’t even know. The properties of what I’m supposed to be measuring don’t even have a consensus apparently or clear definitions that are accepted across the board. I’m supposed to evaluate a measure or assessment tool based on its reliability and validity but folks can’t even decide on whether things like convergent and concurrent validity mean the same damn thing; some say they do, and others differentiate them. When I talk about internal reliability with a citation and reference to a textbook chapter the feedback I get is that my definition as taken from such appears to be talking about construct validity, even though a quick Google search tells in my favour otherwise.

They haven’t made clear who the audience is; whether I’m supposed to be writing for a layperson or as an evaluation to be read by others in the field. Supposedly I should have fleshed out definitions about what things like factor analysis is, which yes, would be expected if I were writing an evaluative recommendation for say an organisation aka laypersons, but should be something understood if written for others in the field. Even simple concepts like ‘a construct of neurologically-based personality should be expected to have temporal consistency’ is not straightforward enough but should apparently be supplemented with the addition of ‘would be expected to be stable’ as if that were not pretty much the same thing I just said. In a sentence after I outline the items and what they relate to as being in line with the theory it takes its concept from I’m told that that’s “something that would usually be evaluated by an expert opinion”. When I say ‘convergent and discriminant validity support and distinguish an instrument from other measures respectively, for example behavioural inhibition on this scale/Minnesota Multiphasic Personality Inventory harm avoidance correlations were found at 0.59 and behavioural activation/fear of repercussion had correlates of 0.23; behavioural activation/reward seeking correlated at 0.60′ I’m told that it’s unclear what I’m referring to, whether it’s convergent or discriminant; that I must lay out an explanation for what it means that some are weak and some are strong. It’s as if I’m supposed to be writing for dummies. Are the people I’m writing for meant to have absolutely zero critical thought and examinative skills or no foundation whatsoever in this field?

People in my field are supposed to be illiterate, then? Or are clearly illiterate based in their approval of actual bullshittery when a paper is fabricated with conflicting evidence in its own attached appendix and yet lacking in ability to decide whether convergent and concurrent mean the same thing?

If you had said from the beginning to write as if it were for a layperson, then yes, I would have made an effort to write it as a 101. You want an evaluation of a measure complete with introduction so the evaluation should naturally also contain whether this measure succeeds in addressing and superseding the previous measures’ lack which led to its development in the first place, including whether it hews closely to its origin founding theory, which is what the previous measures failed in. Yet when I do that I’m told that it’s only to be determined by ‘expert opinion’ although it follows on logically from the immediately preceding sentence regarding the tool’s items in whether or not the content tracks.

I don’t pretend that there are no lacking areas at all in my paper and certainly others have done well in this assignment, and it’s not like I can push all blame for a bad mark onto the assessor and claim that it is a good paper just because, but I’m genuinely galled by the lack of clarity surrounding the actual properties themselves, not to mention the poor consistency of the unit and materials provided by the school itself. In the reference area, which I checked against a referencing guide given by the school, I’m told the doi (identifier of a text) should be given differently than what I’d checked it against.

So much of the feedback I get from my lecturers I genuinely fail to grasp because they don’t make any sense to me or cohere with what they say they expect anyway. The immediate example coming to mind is when a lecturer suggested a 13-word title for added clarity when the limit for a title is 12 words. I’m marked on my grammar and spelling when people don’t even hyphenate properly. I am supposed to take these people seriously? I am really supposed to believe they are qualified to assess me?

Half of these clowns aren’t even able to grasp the concept of my name in the way it’s written without adjustment to ‘Western standards’ correctly.

Even my assessments in secondary school and at the diploma level were more in-depth and sensible than these now. If they really want to know whether I understand these constructs and why they’re important, they might as well just give me an exam paper with the generic few lines under them under a question written as such: “What is reliability; what are the two subtypes, and why are they important?”

The lecturer himself doesn’t even manage to be clear in his lecturing or do what he is now assessing me on in his own lectures; such as giving the correlations of a test consistently instead of just a single dot point stating “Excellent validity.” Why? What are the numbers? No referencing whatsoever in his slides, with what I must take as intentional lack of clarity because in one slide he cited a researcher whose name was Champagne without at all provisioning the year of publication, nor any list of references at the end of the slides for easy look-up; so that it only read: “Champagne - consistency is ________.”

I don’t know whether to be disappointed in myself for not just writing the assignment differently and completely taking the assignment guide as absolute gospel and writing it as simplistically and adhering to that as possible. I think based on my poor mark that I should be, but I also just don’t know what exactly to be disappointed over any more.

#personal #I really can't deal with this any more; especially this unit.

[dew-line]

January 1, 2020 – Taking stock.

If one is to have even the remotest of chances to win a particular battle or conquer even the most minute of feats it is important that all you have an up-to-date inventory of your assets, that your weapons are sharpened and properly utilized – let me start here by addressing my English: being Swedish we learn British english in school; however, the impact of American english through movies, music, news and the omnipresent internet have a big impact too. During my formative years when I read books at an atrocious speed I didn’t know that there are a difference in certain aspects of grammar and of spelling between British and American english and i just gobbled it all down lika a hungry goose. So, for the purpose of this blog, and to prevent you, my dear reader, to suffer a brain aneurysm over poor grammar and spelling, i feel that I must make it perfectly clear that I am a language mongrel. Mistakes will be made. Constantly. Hopefully that won’t take too much away from the reading experience itself, as I am sure that I will commit even greater intellectual atrocities once I get around to thinking.

These first few posts will predominantly be about who I am and what I stand for. To make this clear is important – mainly for myself – as I will use this blog to challenge myself and to challenge my own beliefs. I want the topics I choose and the pieces I write to hurt, to grate, and nag, and nip, and tear, to wear away old beliefs and opinions and help replacing them with others, or to push them more firmly in place. What are we, really, if not walking, talking bundles of opinions, prejudices and various mild neurosis (ICD-10)?  Many people – and there is absolutely nothing wrong with this – are perfectly happy going through life without even once consider their personal relationship to philosophy, religion or politics – or for that matter their own sense of what is morally right or wrong. The consequences of our actions are seldom of any concern to us, as if our actions do have bad or damaging effects we are usually separated from these effects but either emotional or physical distance – one example could be to say something in a tone of voice that lead someone else to be completely devastated/angry/sad, for instance – if they don’t act on their emotions we assume everything to be in order, and if they do act we assume them to be overly sensitive – as we didn’t mean anything negative with what we said or how we said it. We are an empathic animal, but our empathy is always limited by our own emotions. Another example could be shopping for clothes – we know that buying the cheap stuff from M&H or the latest sneakers from Mike probably mean that we enable child labour - but we don’t even think about it because it is so distant from us. What matters, however, is when the effects of our actions cause direct reactions in, or in close proximity, to ourselves: You jokingly trip someone and they fall over and hit their head on the concrete; you run a red light and you cause a a car accident where a child looses his parents or the parents their child, or you see a dead mallard floating in a pond wrapped in what looks suspiciously like the plastic bag you threw in the water yesterday after feeding breadcrumbs to the birds with your children. What I am saying is that we are hard wired – psychologically and biologically – to predominantly care for the people that are closest to us. If we were to feel the same connection with every living person on the planet we would be nothing but quivering lumps of anxiety – because someone, somewhere will always – even with the best intentions of all mankind – be in the shits. Naturally we will choose the path of least resistance. We go about our days, we do what we do, we buy our stuff: brush, rinse, repeat. 

Naturally humans aren’t as simplistic as described above. Every single one of us are a bristling bundle of hopes and dreams, love and hate, joy and fear, thoughts and actions – all bound together by the strongest force know to mankind: complacency. I will leave the topic of complacency and the dreaded consensus to later posts, but I will say that the human ability to create and live in imaginary worlds are practically magical (Harrari).

Then there are the ones that don’t make due. People that abhor complacency and conformity. Some people are contrarians by nature – if you sit at a table with your friends having a conversation, and everyone agrees with each other the contrarian will take up the opposite point of view just for the hell of it. Some do this maliciously, to create conflict (if you are that kind of person – you’re an asshole), other do it in order to promote a reasonable discussion, to bring opposite views into light and strive to encourage critical thinking (if you are this kind of person – good on you! Keep it up! You will still be considered an asshole though). The difference between the first kind of contrarian and the second kind – a part from the purpose. Is usually the degree of understanding of various subjects. If you are to be able to question society and how it operates, you must know quite a lot about society and its constituent parts. Arguments without a factual base is basically bullshit. And we do not want to be considered bullshitters, now, do we?

And finally – after many a word and no breakfast – we have come to the point of this whole post: In the coming few weeks I will try to explain and define the basis for my world view. The reason for doing this is that I want to scrutinize myself and what i believe going in to this blogging endeavor so that I will be able to go back and compare if my views will change as I go. 

I will focus on my opinion on the following subjects (in no particular order): Philosophy Religion Politics Morality Art Death

Reader: be warned. Bullshittery may ensue. 

Now I will let you relax and enjoy the first day of the rest of the decade. 

//Jimmy

#original thoughts #writers on tumblr #philosophy #the dew line

[tomionekinkmeme]

Dear TKM Followers & Contributors

I hope your holidays are going according to plan, or at least remotely close enough. Things are busy for me, but luckily never too busy for you guys. I’d like to first say and remind everyone that the sign-ups for our mini Christmas Fest are officially closed as of a few days ago (I was just shitty and forgot to post an announcement post for that), along with the reminder that deadlines for the Christmas Fest submissions ends on the 24th. 

I’d like to go over a few things that will be going on for the blog and you guys!

1.) Tomione AU Fridays will be on Hiatus probably until the summer time due to everyone being busy. 

2.) Due to what’s been going on with Tumblr and their bullshittery on censorship, with the help of Avasafari, we’ve created a special Tomione Kink Meme collection on ao3 where you can submit your stories through so your work can be on ao3 and also be part of the TKM collection for others to find and read in the future. First, we tested it for our previous Samhain challenge, and it will now be permanently turned into an all-around Tomione Kink Meme submission spot. It will be for all ratings, for all of our future challenges and fests! In the future, should things honestly turn south for smut writing here on Tumblr, Tomione Kink Meme can also be found through the Tomione Discord: Mud and Blood (if you wish for an invite link, I can get you one.) thanks to the kindness of @katsitting.Here is a direct link to the ao3 collection:  https://archiveofourown.org/collections/tomionekinkmeme

3.) I will be completely rewriting the rules, so there will be a lot of new minor changes to the blog coming soon. Once the rules have been completed, I will post a link to its new location.

4.) I have a lot of plans for 2019 for us all, and I’d like to hear your opinions on it! Here is a rough timeline I’ve recently come up with. There are empty months I honestly am not sure what to do with yet:

January - New Years Challenge (I’m thinking a prompt challenge where Tom and Hermione have somehow kissed into the new year and everyone must go off of that with how they choose.) February - Valentines Day Challenge (I was thinking of upholding the original base of this blog by doing the challenge of having you guys fill one of the many prompts sitting untouched. If you guys wanted to do/see something completely new to the blog, by all means, ask box is always open!) March April - Hello Spring Challenge (I’m honestly not sure what to do with this yet.) May June July - Tomione Big Bang -OR- Sweet Summer Fest (Big Bang would be a challenge of 25k words based off a prompts. Sweet Summer Fest would be more along the lines of a single prompt to go off like, “Tom and Hermione are on summer break together,” or some shit like that.) August September - Back to School Challenge (This will be a simple challenge where Hermione and Tom go back to school and whatever is whatever whether they first meet, start developing a romantic bond, etc.) October - Halloween Fest/Haunted House Challenge (I don’t think I’ll do a Samhain fest for this year. I’m feeling more like something along the lines of Tom and Hermione being in a haunted house for one reason or another, whether ghost hunting, etc. It’s about a year from now, so we all still have plenty of time to discuss. November December - Secret Santa Exchange -OR- Christmas Romance Challenge (Thinking of making this big as something like a mini multi-chapter challenge. Not exactly a Big Bang, but something like a four or five-chapter challenge. How does that sound? I have a vision of having people write a Christmas Romance mini fanfic, not gonna lie.)

Once again, ask box is always open, and I will always answer pm’s as soon as I possibly can should you have any questions or concerns.

Happy Holidays, everyone!

<3 - TKM Admin, Alice

#tomione #important #announcement #news

[salt-sass-and-lyrium]

Alright folks, it’s “I need super mundane advice/thoughts” time

So, I lost my job quite a while back. More accurately, I was fired (I’d planned on quitting tho so meh. fucking hated that place). Anyway, as people generally do, I applied for unemployment. After a few weeks, I get told that my unemployment was denied because I was fired for “misconduct”. I appeal the decision because it was not remotely misconduct, imho. But I’m obviously biased so I’m gonna ask here. I’ll try and keep this short but I suck at that soo

Basically what happened is, in the middle of the day one day, I started getting this “You are not authorized to access the Internet” error. Which, considering my job is entirely Internet based, doesn’t make a ton of sense. I hadn’t been accessing anything inappropriate, hadn’t been given any indication that I was in some sort of trouble or under review or what have you. So I figured it was probably a mistake.

But, I asked around, and talked to one of the other IT guys on a different team. He said “you’ve been added to the restricted Internet group”. I asked him why. He didn’t know. I asked what the group was for. He didn’t know. So I pull up the group list and read through it. No one on my team or in the IT department is in it, except me. 

So I asked around some more. No one knew. I checked my email (normally when you get added to a group/your permissions change you’re informed one way or the other). Nada in my email. My manager was AWOL as per usual, so I couldn’t ask him. Since no one knew what it was, I figured it was probably a test group they made and I got added to it by mistake (actually not an uncommon issue). So I removed myself from the group (group management was part of my job), and kept on working. I should note: When people are added to such groups for punishment, etc, they’re not supposed to have access to edit that group. So if I was supposed to have been in the group, I should not have been able to use my account to remove myself. But I was cuz they didn’t set the group correctly. But since I was able to remove myself, I figured that was further evidence that I was mistakenly added.

Next day, I get fired. We sit down and discuss it, HR agrees with me that it was an honest mistake and don’t think I did it maliciously, or to intentionally break the rules (misconduct). But said they had to let me go anyway. HR justified it at the time by saying “Well, you could’ve added yourself to XYZ group and embezzled!!” Ok but I didn’t tho.

Skip forward to now-ish. Job claims misconduct, which disqualifies me from unemployment. I appeal the decision and when I finally get my hearing they also send me Old Jobs responses/reasoning. While trying to justify the misconduct decision, they flat out state “she was not informed, as no one was informed”. But then go on to say “but she should’ve known anyway and she didn’t ask her manager or her manager’s manager”. They also state that I was added to the group for “potential” suspicious activity. Uhh fuck you I never once accessed anything even remotely inappropriate at work.

Manager was literally not there to ask. As he often isn’t. And even when he is in, he ignores me. Like, literally flat out ignores me any time I try to communicate with him. If I’d had time, I would’ve exported my sent box, because there were dozens and dozens and DOZENS of emails I sent him, complaining about poor communication, requesting to sit down and discuss things and so on. He never once replied. I had a folder on my desktop called “bullshittery” that was just dozens of screen shots of me trying to communicate with him and the team and being flat out ignored. And even if I had asked him, SINCE THEY HADN’T TOLD ANYONE, he would’ve had no clue either (if he would’ve responded to me and he most likely would not have). Manager’s manager IIRC was out that week.

So, I’m curious as to how this can be considered misconduct. Old job flat out states (paraphrasing ofc) “we didn’t tell her, her manager, or anyone about this group, what it was for or why she was in it” so I had no way of knowing. In my exit interview, not only did my manager admit to not knowing anything, or even wtf we were talking about, HR and my manager agreed it was an honest mistake.

Sooo, where the fuck are they getting misconduct? Misconduct has to be willful. It has to be an intentional thing you did to break the rules/act against the companies interests. How could I intentionally do a wrong thing (ps a LARGE part of my job was adding and removing people to and from groups, so it’s not like I did something out of the ordinary) when no one even attempted to tell me or anyone it was wrong. Had they simply told me “hey we’ve restricted your internet cuz blank” this whole situation could’ve been avoided. But they didn’t. And now they’re saying it’s my fault.

Thoughts?

TL;DR: I was fired from my job a while back and applied for unemployment. Unemployment was denied because job claims I was fired for ‘misconduct’. However, the ‘misconduct’ (more accurately, harmless mistake, like literally nothing bad happened as a result) only happened because old job didn’t communicate with me, or anyone - managers included. HR agreed with me it was an honest mistake. My manager agreed with me as well and told HR essentially that this was a mistake that could’ve happened to anyone, and that I was pretty much set up to fail. Now, my unemployment is being denied because of said alleged misconduct, but even in their ‘justification’ for it being misconduct, old job flat out admits they didn’t inform anyone (they absolutely should have) and insisted I should’ve contacted two people who weren’t even there. And because I didn’t know (cuz they didn’t tell me) and didn’t ask (I asked coworkers because management was not there, and even when manager is there he ignores me) it’s misconduct.

It sounds like bullshit to me. But I wanted more opinions.

#jobs #work #unemployment #advice #adulting #job #personal

[should-be-sleeping]

Can we talk about disenfranchised/disenrolled Natives for a moment? There is this common misconception that if you are Native, you were born on or live on a reservation and anyone who doesn’t isn’t really Native. What is confusing about this is no other race is based on location or residence. There is a lot of inherent culture you gain from living in a community of your people, yes, but not living there does not mean you have no access to that culture. Even if you were raised in your culture within your household and extended family, you’re not Native enough to them. Even if you are part of your community, you’re not Native enough. Regardless of how you look, you’re not Native enough. You could even be fluent in your tribe’s language and still the people around you will insist you aren’t really Native. You don’t qualify by their standard as an outsider looking in. The particularly baffling part about this is we are not generally hearing this from Native peers or elders. No. We hear this, repeatedly, from people who aren’t Native themselves. NonNatives invested in gatekeeping our communities. There are a lot of Native people who were not born on a reservation, have never lived on one, and may not have even had the opportunity to visit. There are numerous Native people who aren’t enrolled with their tribe for various reasons. This isn’t uncommon. It’s actually becoming more common. A Native child growing up off the rez is not responsible for having limited access to their tribal community. Full fucking stop. [More after the cut...]

Think about what our people faced and then ask yourself why our existence and experiences are denied. I’m not even talking about the most violent colonizer history here. I know, you weren’t even alive then. Obviously -- we know you’re not Highlanders (there can only be one!), we realize you’re not a vampire or something. Stop saying that. This isn’t about past violence. Consider this: the last boarding schools for Native children closed in the 90′s. Yeah, in the decade of Rocko’s Modern Life and Pogs children were still being forced from their homes and placed into conversion schools. Native children are removed from their homes, even now that there aren’t any boarding schools to put them in, and put into non-Native foster homes at an alarming rate. What’s more, reason for removal is rarely if ever justified once reviewed but the children still aren’t returned home. Some of the children just... disappear -- allegedly lost in the system. Imagine losing your children or your siblings and never being able to find out why or where they are or see them again. (I’m not going to post links to sources, you have the whole of human knowledge at your fingertips. Google it. Adding links to your text posts makes them not show up in searches and honestly? This needs to be heard.) The Indian Child Welfare Act itself is problematic in that regardless children can still be removed if the American Government doesn’t deem the child Native Enough. Which includes such bullshittery as removing children anyhow because they do not live in a teepee. Who lives 365 days of the year in a teepee in 2017? Give me a break. I’m tired. You don’t hear a lot about Native issues outside of obligatory oil pipeline outrage and the occasional post about our startling suicide rates because so many of us grew up being repeatedly told, “But you’re not actually Native” based on nothing but where we lived. By the time we reach adulthood our Nativeness has been so compartmentalized that we don’t speak up outside the home. So thoroughly convinced are we that we’re less-than. But screw that. I’m here to tell you right now that you are Native enough. It is only outsiders who do not want you in our communities. Native peers may show hesitance before they know because of the current state of *gesture vaguely* everything. But please speak out on these issues, please boost the voices of your peers. They are yours too, I promise you this. Please come to Powwows and reintroduce yourself to your community. No one cares about the color of your skin or where you were born there. If you’ve lost touch with tradition, please seek to reconnect with it. The community is, by and large, open to you if you reach out to it. Other Natives understand displacement and not being enrolled. It is almost exclusively outside voices telling you that you don’t belong. Ignore them. And if you reading this are one of those outside voices, who has ever told someone they aren’t really Native because they grew up off the rez or are white passing or for any other reason: stop that. It is not your place. I don’t care if they are full Native, half Native or 1/185th Cherokee -- it’s not your place. I encountered this a lot as a teenager. My grandfather gave me the courage to stand up for myself and our issues. He told me, “the wolf separates the fawn from her herd for one reason and one reason only and it’s not to help her grow.” Now every time an outsider makes an assumption about my race based on where I live or the color of my skin, I think about why they care at all. Then I realize it’s entirely self interest. If they can cast doubt on my blood then they can take the power from my opinion regarding what they are doing. No. I won’t let them. Do not let them. Your power is yours.

#indigenous #native america #the rez #native enough #first nations #italicized words read in /that/ voice #you know the one

[blackwoolncrown]

I literally have to keep myself from hating people so much when shit like that goes down, I don’t mind that they disagree, I mind that I explicitly state precisely what kind of person I’m talking about in my posts and a bunch of asshats always make pointless reaches to project whatever their prefab argument is on my post so they can be a dick. I am not talking about people who just ‘disagree’ with SJ posts. I’m talking about people whose blogs are devoid of actual analysis, experience or intellectual merit who literally just go around reblogging SJ posts that have been passed down through their shitty little friends so they can just go ‘OP is an idiot/lol SJWs are so lame/wow this post gave me cancer’

There are so many people who do just that and only that. They might specifically be anti-feminism, anti-...people-caring-about-racism, or whatever, or just anti-SJ in general, but the thing is they have NO actual investment in the improvement of relationships between humans. They have NO actual investment in actually bettering understanding between two parties. All they want to do is laugh at people they don’t agree with, and that’s easiest to do by belittling their point and positioning themselves as if every SJ argument is ~soooo ridiculous~. Meanwhile, their entire blog is 90% reblogs with very little original content, because without a fall boy, they have nothing funny to say. Without anyone to kick, they don’t have an argument to stand on. Interestingly enough, since the once-a-year-flood-of-douchebags has flown in to my mentions, I’ve been playing with what they sound like these days and sadly they’re exactly the same. Any argument that touches on a fact of intersectional bigotry that they, personally, have never experienced, gets immediately thrown out as ludicrous. Words fail me when I attempt to describe just how podunk and uneducated it looks for a person to go WELL THAT SURE IS DUMB when it’s simply clear that it’s *new* to them. These are adults whose first reaction to something they don’t understand is THIS IS STUPID instead of just “I don’t get it”. Also, not surprised at the amount of men still using the 4chanian logical fallacy where they go ‘oh you’re mad now haha I win’. Someone yesterday used that one and like, for those who haven’t dealt with it, it’s basically them taking the position that a discussion online is a Battle Of No Feelings and the first person to show emotion is the loser.

So, not only is that not what arguments or debates are about, but that’s also always 100% a front on their part. For instance, a guy yesterday landed on my dash after his lengthy back and forth with a mutual of mine about how, according to him, protesters in the streets deserved to get hit by his car because they were blocking traffic.

For the record, he admitted that he had never been stuck in traffic due to a protest. For the record, as far as I can remember on her behalf, both myself and my mutual have either been in traffic that simply detoured from a protest (Wow! You mean you don’t HAVE to run people over?), and I have been in protests where traffic was being directed around.

So first of all the entire situation his angry argument was based on was purely hypothetical. Second of all his understanding of how traffic and protests interact is uneducated because he’s either never actually been in one,driven up to one, or seen how traffic moves around them, and instead of ASKING what happens, this guy clearly just sat up in his head concocting a fantasy of driving up to one and being late for work, one that filled him with so much anger that he decided to write and DEFEND why he figured protesters deserved to get hurt and or die. But his tactic, once I dealt with him, was ‘haha ur mad’. And he’s not? Being so frustrated by imaginary traffic that you advocate vehicular homicide is not a neutral position. But this comes down to men being awful. They really honestly feel that their misanthropy is neutral. Hate is, I regret to inform you all, a feeling. And it’s hate and confusion that motivates people to constantly leech on to arguments aimed at bettering the world and constantly derailing them with pedantry, apathy, and just plain chuckefuck bullshittery. I don’t reblog even most of where my posts end up, but it’s been exhausting seeing how many people specifically dance around my point in order to build a nice strawman, when they could have just as easily not said anything if they didn’t agree. There’s nothing wrong with just letting someone be ‘wrong’ in your opinion if it’s not literally something that endangers people. People like this think they are doing something very noble by vigilantly attacking every slightly-different-and-more-empathetic-than-theirs stance on tumblr dot com, but the true reality is that it is an addiction. 

Arguing with people on the internet feels very good- so good that people enjoy watching it. Any time I do bother getting into discourse, someone ALWAYS sends me a congratulatory ask specifically talking about how GOOD they feel seeing it. It’s vicarious righteous anger. And it’s the same way those asshats feel, loading their blogs up with snarky one-line disses at the end of a feminist post they don’t like, or an anti-conservative post they don’t like, or a post about toxic masculinity they don’t like. They didn’t have anything to say, but it feels good to be able to shoot another arrow into your enemy, doesn’t it? And people are chasing that feeling. That’s why I don’t like when I get compliments on discourse, and that’s why people will specifically twist my VERY simple fucking points in order to get a jab in. It’s sad, it’s really, really sad.

#mine

[irlbop]

Finnrey, Reylo, and Goddamn Human Decency

Okay, so let’s sit down and dissect the situation since my buddo, Sithskywalker, has only been met with harassment in her attempts to do so. Initially, I was going so ask that we try and settle this but frankly and ashamedly towards y’all, I know that that is an impossible task to expect.

               Let’s start with something simple before we get into the complexities of this entire Reylo/Finnrey debacle: Reylo is, at best, problematic. At worst (of which it is most often appearing to lean toward in my observation), Reylo is ignorant in the lightest term that I can think of. Now, the beautiful thing about ignorance isn’t always intentional; in these cases, it is obliviousness and, if the oblivious one is willing, this can be adjusted. But in more commonly observed cases, the ignorance I’m seeing is done out of spite and with an intention to inflict pain or disturbance. And no, don’t go “Just let me ship it!” or “It’s my freedom to ship it!” or “But did you see the way he – ” No, no, no, no, no, no, no. There’s a myriad of issues surrounding the Reylo situation on a scale regarding what a healthy relationship is, regarding race, and your own personal consideration for your fellow man as well as the films this entire fandom is based around. If you stick around, great. If you’re seeing the same things you’ve heard before, then maybe the problem isn’t the fact that you need a billion reasons to cut through your skull. Also, trigger warning for rape, abuse, and racism

Abuse: I’m going to say this right upfront and now: I have never been in an abusive relationship, nor have I survived sexual assault. I’m lucky. I am blessed. But my experience isn’t everybody else’s. therefore, it’s important to consider the situations of those who haven’t gone through life without an invasion of personal space or emotional boundaries. If you don’t believe me, look at the media: We’re constantly smitten with the guy who “takes what he wants” and can literally shove the object of his affection against a wall and suction his face to hers. This is often done during the “chase” stage and while many (including myself) buy into it at first, if you take a moment to step back and actually analyze the situation, it’s actually disturbing. I could probably write a good page or two on just how the media practically contorts and romanticizes some actually abusive traits but I’m already on this bad boy. 

But the point is, when you take Kylo Ren’s actions out of context and mix it with the whole “rough-loving bad boy” persona we’ve been spoon-fed since God knows when, it’s easy to contort it into something appealing. But for some people, it’s not. For some, seeing Rey get smacked against a tree can bring back literally painful reminders. Seeing him trying to basically mentally manipulate isn’t an opportunity for him to read her mind about how she’s “totes thinking he’s a hottie” so then they start making out or whatever. To be frank, romanticizing this situation was under absolutely no intention of the director, screenwriter, producer, etc. It’s exactly as it’s meant to be: hostile, ambitious, and nasty as it should be between enemies. Nothing more, nothing less.          

However, it appears too many people refuse to understand this or even begin to fathom it. Furthermore, they actually take it upon themselves to harass those who express discomfort over people making goo-goo eyes at what can practically be a reminder for a very dark time for them. Someone I loved had PTSD and I can attest to this just by observing him: That shit does stuff to you. You can still smile, you can still laugh. You can even go on with your life and do what people expect you to do i.e. go to school, get a job, maybe even start a family if you so please it. But trust me: It doesn’t leave you. You can’t “get over” something that hits you so hard that it streaks right down into your soul. I can’t even begin to imagine what it feels like. Many people can’t.      

But it’s for that very reason that you have no right to march up to somebody who has it and tell them to “suck it up.” Because if you’re telling them to suck up something that has impacted them for the rest of their lived, then you should certainly be able to suck up criticism over a fictional relationship that you will probably forget about once you realize that shipping doesn’t pay the bills or help take care of student loans. You can’t be petty over something that’s literally hurting somebody else, it makes you look like a disgusting waste of human. Especially since we’re entering an age where the goddamn assigned leader of this forsaken country has very likely committed those acts upon others, is getting away with it, and is basically doing every and all things that he and his stooges can to assure that it keeps happening. You know that thing that a girl in Africa made? That sorta condom-like thing with teeth that goes inside her and will shred the dick of any man that tries to put it inside her without her consent? If you don’t and want to know why this isn’t a thing here, it’s because it’s illegal in the U.S. It’s literally seen as a form of torture. So a man’s pride and literal junk is worth protecting more than a woman’s safety. Yeah.            

But I digress: Reylo has no bones to form a healthy relationship. Stop acting as though it does. Because what does have a proper foundation is Finnrey. Which leads us to …

Race: Disclaimer, I think both John Boyega and Adam Driver are fine men. Both physically and based on their personalities. I harbor no ill will toward Adam, nor any favoritism towards John. I don’t even really ship anyone! However, this is something that needs to be said because after the bullshittery I’ve seen go down on buddo’s blog, I felt it needed to be done. But geez, where do I even begin to delve into a centuries old and ongoing system bent and formed to assure Caucasian superiority on an educational, residential, aesthetic, etc. level? Hmmm … I guess, once again, we’ll start with something simple: Why is Finnrey superior not by opinion, but by overall character?         

Let’s see … Finn is Rey’s first ever friend, by meeting him she was able to eventually come to terms with the reality of her situation, thereby meeting Luke (whom is 98.99% likely to be the father she had been missing), they shared an experience, they protect each other, they care for each other, Finn literally risks death just to get her back and she picks up a weapon she previously wanted nothing to do with to assure that he couldn’t get hurt anymore, and, most important of all, they goddamn respect one another. I’m not going to bring in the fact that it’s all but canon now because honestly, it shouldn’t be this hard to express the characteristics of what can present a decent foundation for a healthy romantic relationship. Especially because if you care about the loving aspect, then you should care about Finnrey. (If you care about a lusting aspect, then you only care about sexual characteristics which can still be found in Finnrey. If you do that in-character with Reylo, however, it’s extremely predatory since, you know, Kylo hates Rey and Rey hates Kylo.)             

So after taking all these factors into count, it begs the question, why don’t more people ship Finnrey? Well, kiddios, the first term of the day is “systematic racism.” Systematic racism, also called institutionalized racism, basically refers to a form of racism expressed in practices on a social and political level ranging from and entwining into literally anything from schooling to income, to criminal justice, wealth, healthcare, living situation, who’s considered beautiful, and, yes, relationships. Don’t believe me, you can literally read articles on anything from black women with white husbands getting mistaken for hookers or watch the movie Guess Who’s Coming to Dinner.          

Anyway, how does systematic racism tie into who we find more appeal with? Well, some centuries ago as Europeans started to venture outward more, it eventually become common word that dark things were associated with badness and white with goodness regardless of what sense it made (Jesus was more black than white, for example). Since then, this mindset has spread like wildfire. Or the smallpox the English brought over. In countries where dark-skinned persons are the norm, they’re more likely to promote or run advertisements with lighter-skinned people. And if they can get their hands on a white person, you know they’re gonna. This is because the white person is, in far too many cases, portrayed as the everyman. This is why we’re quicker to recognize when a protagonist is a POC – it’s just not an everyday occurrence.

We see this in our movies all the time with a white man being cast as the lead, or when they’re presented and promoted in rapid succession compared to their colored cast mates and so on and so forth.

And the thing is, this shit starts early. If you Youtube “Doll Test”, you’ll see small children (including black ones) calling the white baby doll good and the black baby doll bad. They even refer to the white doll as the pretty one, whereas its darker counterpart is ugly. The problem is, the media often does very little to help destroy this mindset so it often ends up blossoming into what we see today: sympathy for white killers, fictional or not, out of finding them physically attractive. (If you come up in here and tell me this isn’t true, I will smash your fucking face into the screen of a laptop and make you read all the bitches whining about Dylann Roof’s death sentence or how many twits wanted some other white boy killer to go free and creaming themselves after he showed up to court in a shirt expressing pride over his killing. I don’t have time for this bullshit.)

Basically, what we end up doing is sparing sympathy for lighter-toned people because, institutionally, light means good and dark means bad. (This is actually also a thing in the black community where lighter skinned people are treated differently than darker-skinned ones but this is also a story for another time.) Does this sound reminiscent of anything? Perhaps a fictional non-canonical pairing wherein people make excuses and slander the names of the characters’ actors to justify a notably unhealthy interaction over an actually more stable one?

Furthermore, while it’s becoming more commonplace in commercials and TV shows and film, the image of a black male and white female is met with criticism. I’ll admit that the reasons honestly differ among ethnic groups but for the most part, it’s usually a criticism born simply from the fact that it’s a black man and a white woman. Remember when I said Europeans began to use their position to promote ideas that pretty much raised their position for just being white? This was a favorite tactic used in America in the 18- and 1900s. The idea was that white women were fragile and needed to be protected from the brutish black bucks. A black man near a white woman would surely cause her harm! This was displayed in many forms from posters to pamphlets to D. W. Griffith’s The Birth of a Nation wherein a rowdy and completely buffonish cast of blackface-donning actors were portrayed in scenarios that included harassing a delicate flower of a white girl, as well as lustfully celebrating over the ruling that they be allowed marriage to women women (which received more applause than being allowed placement in government).

So where have we seen people portray a black male as barbaric, invading on the safety of a young, white female and threatening her by so much as touching her hand? Could it be … in movies where the black man is a rapist or a thug? Maybe … in real life where numerous white women have claimed assault on an innocent black man but nobody dared to investigate the matter further? Or perhaps … a disgusting amount of Reylo-shippers, who have literally gone out of their way to portray John Boyega as a beast rather than a man and actual friend to coworker Daisy Ridley?

I could go on a tangent about how insulting this is not only on a racial scale, but also in regards to demeaning the situations of people who have actually been in unpleasant or altogether awful interactions with genuinely awful people but, like I said, this is what we’re focusing on right now.

But in the end, do you know what a lifetime of this can do to a POC’s mindset? I can think of an example: The second term of the day is “internalized racism.”   

As the name would suggest, internalized racism is when a person of an ethnic group displays racist traits towards members of their culture, including themselves. This can come about in many ways but one thing is for certain: it’s linked with institutionalized racism. You see, it gets quite easy to think very negatively of something that people subtly or even outright portray as a bad thing. Even if that thing looks like you. Maybe you’ve seen far too many black people get arrested on the news; maybe you just don’t feel pretty with your corkscrew curls and earthy skin; maybe you just feel an inherent need to hold your purse close to you when you see a big, black guy walking down the street despite the fact that he’s just making his way down the block to run an errand. The point I’m trying to get at here is that there’s various ways or showing or even experiencing internalized racism. I’ll be the first to admit that I experience it. I’m trying not to; a lot of people may be. But it’s hard to undo something you didn’t know existed until recently, or what keeps growing back with the constant exposure after every time you think you’re free from it. But this is no excuse to go out of your way to keep feeding it.

So anyway, when I talk about internalized racism, you probably have an idea where I’m going with this: Black Reylo shippers, we need to talk. What exactly is it that you find appealing about this dynamic? Be real with yourself. Is it because Adam Driver is attractive? That’s all fine and good, but that has nothing to do with his character. What exactly does Kylo offer Rey? By comparison, what does Finn offer Rey? If you feel Finn, after an entire film’s worth of interacting with her, offers Rey nothing whereas Kylo, after maybe a total of 15-23 minutes (most of which involved him using his fucking unstable lightsaber on her), offers her something, then it may be healthiest for you to step away from shipping for a while and think about what you truly do respect. If shipping is just an outlet for you, fine. But you should make sure that that outlet reflects what a good relationship is to you: not some sadistic, abusive game of predator vs prey. If that is what you want, then you seriously need to stop focusing on shipping and start focusing on your psyche.

All in all, there just a shit ton I could’ve said or still want to say, but I think this is long enough and most of y’all have either dropped out or have left to write an insult of threat without reading the entire thing or considering why it’s being written in the first place. Plus, I’m tired. Physically tired, but mostly, I’m tired that this shit actually needs to be said to a bunch of people who think their asses are grown enough to recognize what a relationship is, yet end up sending disturbing content to anyone who even so much as looks uncomfortable at the crap they’re promoting. Star Wars was never meant to be this way; no fandom is. But it’s because of inconsideration and intentional ignorance that things collapse. If you still feel a need to ship Reylo over Finnrey – especially if you have to actually change peoples’ characters and basically rob them of their principles – then maybe it would be best if you stepped away from shipping and asked yourself, “What does this say about me? How do my reactions towards people who do not agree with me reflect what I actually feel?” Because if you’re still willing to ship these two when it’s looking like they’re probably cousins alone, then you’ve got more issues to work out than just the fact that somebody doesn’t agree with your ship.

TL;DR – Reylo is a result of the entwined workings of the social romanticism of abuse and downplaying of female respect and a multitude of racial issues, including institutionalized and internalized racism and you need to go sit down and think about all this and what it says about you before you even so much as try to counter it. And for the rest of you where you stand by your stretching, I quote my brother: “Just say you hate black people and go. it’s not that deep.” It really isn’t; we can see you in your kiddy pool of defense.

@sith

#tw: abuse #tw: rape #finnrey #long ass post #i am tired #but i'm also angry #anti reylo #anti r*ylo #institutional racism #there's probably a lot i missed or whatever #but i'm tired and i honestly shouldn't have to tell some of y'all any of this mess

[mending-wall]

“you must do this, this, this, then this...”

yeah, but what if we don’t fucking want to

what if a good chunk of us don’t want fucking names for our own reasons

what if we’re in bumfuck Texas without the resources to get day to day, much less the functionality, and asking us to go to a specialist that’ll actually fucking believe us in a major city-- which is over 100 miles away in any given direction-- when we struggle for transportation and money to get groceries in the house-- much less go to FUCKING CALIFORNIA to your recommended clinic... is fucking classist privileged actually-mentally-harmful garbage.

what if we had to cry and fucking beg just to get simple ass fucking depression medication changed by our doctor today, took abuse from our own therapist after that, had shit long-term concealed from us from our mental health practitioners as a whole, and a large number of us DO NOT FUCKING TRUST and ARE FURIOUS AT mental health professionals right now while most of the rest of us are hurt and skeptical about being open with them.

maybe we’re here seeking validity of and coping mechanisms for our symptoms and don’t give a single tiny fuck about your professionally-diagnosed competing-for-most-legitimacy faux-psychiatrist King of the Mountain games.

maybe... maybe we didn’t join to see you evaluate and judge others from your positions of privilege. maybe we recognise the stink of your bullshit from being part of the music community, from being a professional wrestler, from being weary enough of the social elitism of niche microcosm communities to just spectate the trans community tear itself to bits over the “right” way to be trans. and yeah, being trans is not a medical diagnosis-- not anymore. and no, this diagnosis should be a diagnosis and not be subject to identity politics... but maybe the trans community kind of went to hell as a consequence of inflicting identity politics and door bouncers to quantify “fakeness” on a spectrum of people with similar problems that could’ve helped each other despite their differences and varying sublabels.

maybe we shouldn’t give a fuck if we have the specifics of a single end of the spectrum in the evaluation of a doctor or two in a “science” that’s extremely expensive and whose diagnoses are based on opinions and a set of questions to the patients, largely about the nuance of feelings, with very, very little in the way of quantifiable actual science. maybe the health care of those on the impoverished end of things is full of people who can’t get better paying positions because they don’t know their own shit from a peanut butter sandwich, and depending on nothing more substantial than their opinions and their narrow scope of knowledge for legitimacy-- much less the assignment of powerful psychoactive drugs whose actual neurochemical mechanisms are largely not even understood-- is... just...

ugh.

in the words of bullshittery professional MJK:

"come down.  get off your fuckin cross.  we need the fuckin space to nail the next fool martyr.”