#it's just more common in CSA

[jewish-skitter]

I have no idea why anyone on Wormblr would follow me, this is like, full on half our "coping with antisemites by making extremely distasteful jokes" sideblog that only occasionally overlaps with Wormposting.

#trying to remember that “yet another nazi is a pedophille” is not funny for most people #it's just such a recurring theme with these guys #csa ment #that and getting into trouble with the tax guy #but honestly the cp shit is probably more common

[teddybeirin]

Besties I think it is a huge problem that discord, basically just the spiritual successor to skype, does not have the same amount of "don't go around giving your contact info to adults, don't add adults on skype from [insert game/other place on the internet here] cuz there's no real reason to take your conversations off the places that can be moderated by other adults" shit being blasted in ur ears 24/7 as skype did. Like I know I never listened and I got taken advantage of a ton anyhow but like when did this become acceptable.... For as much as the internet is more corporate that has not in any way shape or form been at all synonymous with being "child-friendly" lmao. When will the suffering end

#csa ment #all the shit that got told to me as ''common sense'' by adults online with good intentions has now drifted faaar faaar away from being #''common'' like what the shit? what the fuck is this? you want me to believe. that just cuz u can pay for more features that it is not just #the SAME exact kind of tool - with the exact same precautions necessary????

[abbyshands]

YESSSS, imma piggy back on what you said real quick. Most people understand the concept of sex and the basic acts of sexual intercourse by middle school/the age of 12. It’s really not that hard to grasp and whether they’ve indulged in those certain acts or not doesn’t change the fact that they most likely know what it is.

So when people try to pass it on or even justify it as “well it’s an innocent reader/mc” or even “it’s just fiction” it doesn’t matter, you’re writing about someone and/or something in a childlike connotation. Who is actually saying or responding to “oh my cunny this” or “my private parts this” 🧍🏾‍♀️ Like be actually so real please. I’m telling you dude some of them like children and don’t wanna say it.

Don’t get me started on that “corruption” shit either cause a lot of y’all (whoever this applies to) are openly admitting to wanting to “ruin someone’s innocence” in your writing and it’s not cute like yall think it is😭

tw // pedophilia, csa

for fucking real. for the “corruption” kink, to be honest, it’s bearable as long as it isn’t to the degree of an overly innocnet “adult” reader, who may as well be a baby/child. but let’s be so serious: you’ll have had sex ed classes in high school if you’re an adult, regardless of “innocence,” etc, or religion, per say, because that seems to be an excuse people use to play off a “pure” reader who’s really more childlike when it comes down to it. you can be a virgin, “pure,” think sex is immoral, blahblahblah, while knowing its core fundamentals, and the basic concept. there’s no reason in hell an adult reader shouldn’t know where their clit/hole is, where a penis is inserted into a vagina, what cumming is, how sexual intercourse works as a general consensus, etc. there’s no reason your reader or your main character should be yapping ab a “cunny,” “clitty,” “private/princess parts,” “potty,” etc. are you fucking kidding me?

and then people are seriously bending over backwards to defend it? i mean, let’s be real, you’re not earning any points here. why are you defending a phenomenon where people find sexual pleasure, sexual arousal, in behaving like a baby/child during sexual intercourse? does that not sound unbelievably repulsive, or have i lost all common sense? i mean, fucking honestly. people need to get a grip. quit playing off coquette-ified pedophilia as a kink, because as a csa survivor, as someone who has seen what it’s like to put your trust into an adult as a child, then have them violate the shit out of you sexually, you fucking repulse me. i’m sick of seeing it all over my home page and it being so goddamn normalized. it’s triggering and i find it absolutely horrific. weird isn’t even the word: people. are fucking. sick.

#idec at this point ‘ y’all need help fr #abby anderson #abby anderson x reader #abby anderson smut #ellie williams #ellie williams x reader #ellie williams smut #the last of us #tlou #tlou2

[pinkch3rie]

lolita as a novel is a perfect example of how powerful rich white men can get away with heinous crimes, and the structure of the book itself supports that because it gives us an direct insight into the inner thoughts of one of these men and just how much mental gymnastics they do to justify everything. and i feel like despite what ppl believe(wrongly), this book is inherently anti pedophilia because it dismisses the common claim that it’s the young girl’s fault that something bad happened, and why so many girls who have had similar experiences find comfort in it, and in dolores as a character. this is why, on top of many other reasons, the centering of white girls is so heartbreaking to see in the coquette community. the themes in lolita deal with the sexualization and abuse of young girls, which girls of color, specifically Black and indigenous girls experience disproportionately higher compared to white girls. so of course more girls of color are going to find comfort in a community that when done correctly and with good intentions, give power to dolores haze and girls who have experience with csa/sexualization/inappropriate relationships with older men. but so many of them are turned away from it because they don’t feel comfortable in a community full of mean rich white girls. i know for a fact that if i haven’t discovered coquette in 2020/2021 as a 17 year old who was just coming to terms with some of the horrible stuff i went through, i would’ve spiraled so much once i left home for college, and to think that there’s a girl of color out there who could’ve really benefited from a community that acknowledges the dark sides of girlhood but stayed away from it bc she thinks it’s for white girls only breaks my heart.

#coquette #coquette aesthetic #coquette community #mine #lana del rey #lizzy grant #lolita1997 #american lolita #vladimir nabokov #dolores haze #nymph3t #nympette #nymph aesthetic

[aihoshiino]

chapter 139 thoughts

Because of the content of this chapter I will unavoidably have to discuss CSA and topics related to it, including grooming, emotional abuse and sexual assault. I do not discuss them in great detail, but if you very understandably just aren't in the headspace for that, no hard feelings - look after yourself and I'll see you next time.

Gonna say up top that my review of this chapter is probably gonna read more negative than it necessarily is, because I do not think this was an Actively Bad chapter. It was, however, a deeply frustrating one and it's because of a lot of small things piling up that are starting to really grind my gears.

ai eating sweets with that head empty expression again makes this a tenouttaten chapter regardless of anything else i say here btw

As was foreshadowed by Kamiki's appearance last week, this time we're finally diving into some of the details around how Kamiki and Ai met. I'm a little surprise by how… I guess, unceremonious it is? This is the catalyst for the entire rest of the story, after all. It's the first meeting between the twins' parents and the first time Ai comes face to face with the man who will eventually kill her. Even given to us secondhand, this should be a pretty weighty, dramatic moment but…

there's no diplomatic way to say this so I will say this the undiplomatic way: I really kind of fucking hate that a moment this meaningful was undermined by flaccid incest bait jokes again lmao. I absolutely loathe that any kind of complexity the mutual past life reveal could have introduced to the twins' dynamic and any potential exploration of Ruby's feelings on the matter has been completely tossed by the wayside in favor of just having her splooge about her oniichan every time they're together. I've said before and I'll say again: I think the idea of Ruby developing confusedly romantic feelings for Aqua in the wake of realizing he was Gorou is a deeply compelling one and I would be on board with Oshi no Ko exploring that dynamic if it was actually going to explore it. The way Oshi no Ko leans into and explores the discomfort and dysphoria caused by the friction between the twins' past lives and their current selves is incredibly compelling when we actually get it and it's so baffling to me that one of the biggest, most braindead opportunities to continue doing this has not been snatched up.

We are approaching 20 chapters worth of time, in and out of universe, since this reveal happened and almost nothing has come of it. The most exploration we've gotten of how this changes things is in Mengo's interlude chapter for the twins which just feels all the more jarring in hindsight when the main story has been so stuck on using it for this incredibly tired and worn out incest bait comedy. Like, come on, man. It's 2024. What are we even doing here.

Bitching aside for the time being, I did really like the little scene between Taiki & Aqua, though. Both of them are dealing with some deeply heavy material and portraying real people they themselves both have a lot of baggage with so I appreciate they're given a moment to breathe and get those feelings out. Though again, we are given frustratingly little insight into whatever is going on with Aqua's head right now and given just how much weight and focus was given to Ruby coming to understand Ai and get into the right headspace to act as her, it feels really jarring and conspicuous that we have absolutely no idea how he's done the same for Kamiki.

H O W E V E R. I think this scene does contain a fascinating and potentially huge reveal that can easily be missed if you let yourself be distracted by Ruby; Kamiki, at least as portrayed by Aqua at this point in time, has white stars in his eyes. While I don't subscribe to the idea of In Depth Hoshigan Colour Decoding that's common elsewhere in the fandom, this does undeniably put middle school Kamiki in a closer emotional headspace to Ai than his present day self. Given what we see of the black hoshigan in other characters and knowing that this is Kamiki in the thick of his abuse at Airi's hands, this implies that despite all the horror he's been subjected to thus far this is still a Kamiki who has some light left in him. In fact, everything about Aqua's portrayal of him here suggests a certain sense of kindness and innocence that has yet to be ripped away from him which is very, very interesting. This is, after all, a hateful work written to kill Aqua's father. So this disarmingly likable and sympathetic portrayal of him as an undeniable victim throws a lot about the movie's intentions into question

what i'm saying is even aqua is furthering the kamiki hikaru babygirlification agenda. so true, king.

That said, this scene also comes with its own nits to pick, which is the reveal - or I guess. the confirmation - that Ruby does in fact know who her father is. While we don't know exactly what and how much she knows, I think it's reasonable to conclude that she's been brought on board with at least everything about him the movie confirms. And like… man… wouldn't it be really great to have seen Ruby learn any of that information on screen? Wouldn't it have been really interesting to see Ruby learn literally any fucking information about this revenge quest and the man who murdered her beloved mother and to have to work out how to process all that? Wouldn't it have made a kickass arc for Ruby to learn that even the man she despised for killing her mother was himself a victim of the entertainment industry, to see the damage that can be caused by a relationship between an adult and a child when she herself was innocently fantasizing about a similarly huge age gap between her and Gorou and to perhaps go through some conflict and internal growth based on all this?

but no. splooging over her brother is a much more important use of page time. i guess.

speaking of airi. the image of her carrying around the baby she conceived by raping eleven year old boy, right in front of him at the place she is continuing to abuse him is so incredibly foul and rancid i kind of want to throw up about it. on god i hope hell's hot enough.

It's pretty short, but the montage of Ai and Hikaru spending time together and him gradually softening and opening up to her a little more was really sweet. I've been super interested in the HikaAi relationship ever since we learned who Hikaru even was so even these little tidbits filtered through 15YL's portrayal are really exciting to get. It also lends some credence to something I've been theorizing about why Ai specifically wanted to be with Hikaru - she seems to understand and relate to his experiences with objectification at the hands of the adults and people around him and to feel some sense of solidarity with him as a result. In terms of theming, I always expected the HKAI relationship to contain echoes of AquKana and AquAka - Hikaru is a dark mirror to Aqua, so it makes sense that his relationships would be so as well - and in this sense, I think we can see an echo of the AquAka romance there. In Hikaru, Ai begins to believe she can find a person who can understand and accept her. … or that's my theory as of now, anyway.

And that final scene between Airi and Hikaru… whoof. Genuinely blood curdling. In general, the reveal of just how long Hikari was being actively abused by Airi made my stomach churn - for some reason, it had never occurred to me that it might have run parallel to his meeting with Ai but the idea that this wasn't just a one-off incident, but active grooming and abuse that Airi got away with thanks to her position of power and authority over this child in her care for years… genuinely revolting and I do mean that in the best possible way.

CSA is such a heavy topic and quite frankly, anime and manga are not historically delicate or tasteful in its portrayal - especially when it comes to male victims of assault. Ever since we were told what had happened to Hikaru, I was really on the fence about whether this was something OnK could tackle in the way it needed to be. So far, though, I think its portrayal and indictment of Airi's abuse is excellent. It is not allowed to be a spectacle, and we are shown just enough to understand the nauseating scope of the horror Hikaru has been subjected to. I'm hoping Aka and Mengo are able to keep this up.

No break next week! Maybe one after next chapter, though? 140 will be the final chapter of volume 14 and I'm curious to see what note it's going to end on.

#oshi no ko #oshi no posting #onk spoilers #csa mention

[ozmatippetarius]

I am once again asking you to put some respect on Charles's name. He's bewilderingly under-appreciated as a character despite being really complex and well-developed. I see a crazy number of people say they hate him completely without nuance, for a novel where reading deeply and questioning everything is the entire point. Anyway, here's something you might have missed if you shotgunned the book and then have lived off of fanon ever since until you forgot what was actually in the text.

Charles is almost certainly a CSA victim

A major motif of The Secret History is the extent to which childhood trauma has shaped these characters' current actions. Henry was neglected by his father, so he latches onto Julian now. Francis has a codependent relationship with his addict mother that has obviously shaped his actions with Charles. Richard grew up in an abusive family and finds himself forced into a mediator role now; he grew up in poverty and latches onto the first wealthy group that will accept him.

For some reason a lot of readers seem to think that the twins' issues instead developed totally in a vacuum? That they just spontaneously developed an incestuous relationship in adulthood, for the drama of it?

You all know that would be bad writing, would be awful. But you refuse to examine it any closer. You say "the incest is gross" and decide you're just not going to think any more about it, because it makes you uncomfortable.

So let's see if we can ferret out a better explanation. What are some of the risk behaviors we see from Charles?

Substance Abuse - shouldn't need much of an explanation, I think pretty much everybody picked up on this.

Eating Disorder - seems to have been missed by a lot more people, but a major part of why Charles ended up in the hospital is that he simply stopped eating. When Richard and Francis take him to lunch after getting out, he refuses to eat even when they are begging him. Afterwards, we're told he's subsisting entirely off of peanuts for the rest of the novel.

Sexual Risk Behavior - his relationship with Camilla, clearly.

Trust Issues - his relationship with Richard is dripping with this. He spends the entire second half of the novel begging Richard not to betray him ("You're my friend, aren't you?" "You wouldn't go behind my back, would you?") and at the final showdown, Richard is the person he is most angry with, for breaking that trust.

Revictimization - y'all aren't going to like this, but his relationship with Francis is absolutely this.

What do all these bullets have in common? They're all common long term effects of childhood sexual assault.

Hey, remember that sequence shortly before Bunny is killed where he's antagonizing every member of the group individually by taunting them about their secrets he could expose? For Henry, obviously he's threatening to expose the farmer's death. For Richard, his lies about his wealthy background. For Camilla, her incestuous relationship. For Francis, his homosexuality. So what about Charles- what's he threatening to expose here? He wouldn't randomly leave out one of the group, right? Well, let's roll the clip.

If he treated Henry with deference, it was the rest of us who were forced to bear the wearing, day-to-day brunt of his anger. Most of the time he was simply irritating: for example, in his ill-informed and frequent tirades against the Catholic Church. Bunny’s family was Episcopalian, and my parents, as far as I knew, had no religious affiliation at all; but Henry and Francis and the twins had been reared as Catholics; and though none of them went to church much, Bunny’s ignorant, tireless stream of blasphemies enraged them. With leers and winks he told stories about lapsed nuns, sluttish Catholic girls, pederastic priests (“So then, this Father What’s-His-Name, he said to the altar boy—this kid is nine years old, mind you, he’s in my Cub Scout troop—he says to Tim Mulrooney, ‘Son, would you like to see where me and all the other fathers sleep at night?’ ”). He invented outrageous stories of the perversions of various Popes; informed them of little-known points of Catholic doctrine; raved about Vatican conspiracies, ignoring Henry’s bald refutations and Francis’s muttered asides about social-climbing Protestants. What was worse was when he chose to zero in on one person in particular. With some preternatural craftiness he always knew the right nerve to touch, at exactly the right moment, to wound and outrage most. Charles was good-natured, and slow to anger, but he was sometimes so disturbed by these anti-Catholic diatribes that his very teacup would clatter upon its saucer.

His Catholicism? Charles, the group member most morally affronted by the idea of killing and also the most affectionate towards Bunny, comes around to the idea of murder because Bunny is making fun of his Catholicism, something that hasn't been mentioned before and never will be again? Something that has been consistently shown to bother Francis and Henry more?

Connect the dots, here - Charles isn't triggered to the point of physically shaking because Bunny is making fun of Catholics, something we know that he's been doing for years. He's triggered because Bunny is taunting him with stories about adult men molesting young boys, in front of everybody.

Anyway, this isn't a defense of Charles's treatment of Camilla. Obviously "hurt people hurt people" isn't meant as an excuse or a hand-wave. But it is an explanation. Charles is, like every other character in this novel, a flawed person who does some terrible things with complex motivations, and he deserves the same amount of respect you give the other flawed characters who do terrible things with complex motivations.

#the secret history #charles macaulay #francis abernathy

[florenceisfalling]

to my followers unaware of what the fuck im talking about re: toonimal, txttletale, and tyler

tw for csa and transmisogyny

edit: check comments after reading

toonimal aka ezra orena is a tumblr user who also ran a website for "big three" paraphiles (pedo/necro/zoo), including those who are pro-contact and including minors. this obviously led to a bunch of pedophiles sexually engaging with minors and exchanging abuse material.

ezra was already known for being pro-contact in some spaces and had been called out for it. ezra was thus banned on aethy, which is an 18+ proship website, i assume due to the following rules:

there was mild pushback to the fact that aethy also banned ezra's callout, not just ezra; however, this was due to the fact that spreading a callout about ezra's website would also spread links to a pro-csa space:

despite the aethy ban, ezra wasn't called out in the mainstream (to my knowledge) until more recently, when a super huge google doc rolled in with evidence of the abusive behaviors on his website

also despite this, when this doc dropped, some people targeted and doxxed a completely unrelated moderator of aethy for something they had no involvement in.

the google doc. is bad. i understand the good intentions, but it includes irrelevant fantasy as evidence and, more importantly, does not censor victim names. it also does exactly what aethy mods were seeking to avoid by providing a platform for this site, rather than sending it to the proper authorities and letting it get handled properly. statement from an aethy mod:

however, the doc includes lots of evidence for toonimal and his site's users being abusers. its Bad. really really really bad.

because many people did not know toonimal was advocating for abuse prior to the doc being shared, toonimal had some popular posts on tumblr.

one of these posts is a post about "killing the cop in your head" re: accusing people of being degenerate or dangerous over fetishes and kinks that are taboo. while the post might seem weird with the context that ezra is a pedophile, this post was incredibly popular among people who didn't realize. it was just a solid discourse post at the time:

in fact, i checked, and i reblogged this post back in the summer, before i knew that toonimal was advocating for pedophilic contact. this post was not part of some "niche pedophile community." this post currently has 19,000+ notes. it does not mention contact with children. it mentions kink and shipping. drastically different from the content on ezra's site!

and even if you did elect to check ezra's about page before posting, ezra isn't an "open" pedophile. there's a reason his site was secret.

neither of these things mention paraphilias. you have to click on a separate link in the about page to see the tags/warnings that mention lolicon (which is fiction anyway) or illegal paraphilias. even after clicking on those, ezra still upheld on tumblr at the time that he was anti-contact.

the above screenshot is from 3 months ago. now, ezra posts things in the pro-contact vein, but again: he was denying this three months ago. his post was popular even back six months ago. in fact, ezra denied he was pro-contact a week ago, but when evidence popped up he just resorted to insults.

now that we've established that ezra being a pedo was not common knowledge and his post was literally just a popular kink discourse post...

tumblr user txttletale aka healed, who is a trans woman, reblogged it with the following comment months ago:

and later makes a post expressing her opinion on games like stardew valley having somewhat problematic elements to them. in response...

random tumblr cis gay man gets mad and says that healed aka txttletale "markets incest shipping and loliporn as an inherent part of queer sexuality" because she reblogged the toonimal post with 19k notes MONTHS before ezra was called out

reread the toonimal post. there is no mention of loliporn.

even if there was, thats a drawing. its fiction. just like the farming simulator is fiction. who cares

roadhogsbigbelly then doubles down and says that, well, healed might not have mentioned loli, but ezra would support loli. the problem is, again, ezra was not even entirely open about this. why on earth would healed be endorsing that solely by reblogging ezra's post?

then, people start to accuse healed of being in a secret pedophile community with ezra and other popular trans women on tumblr, like predstrogen and maia crimew

a bunch of them notably being from a group of bloggers who love to harass people over stupid shit, be exclusionists, and make conspiracy theories about "closet pedos" and generally just talk shit about anyone they deem below them - especially tgirl bloggers

most of this harassment operates on the idea that healed was mutuals with ezra or aware of ezra's behavior, meanwhile she reblogged ezra's post 3 reblogs down a chain and literally didn't directly interact with ezra at all. neither of them followed each other

people also brought up healed's past controversies, most of which have been apologized for or were simply not fucking relevant

even if healed did follow ezra, the insistence that loli aka drawings is what is sooo sketchy about ezra rather than the fact that he had a site full of ADULTS INTERACTING SEXUALLY WITH REAL MINORS is absolutely fucking batshit

also healed has posted stuff against loli and proship fic/art before. healed literally doesn't approve of that stuff fucking anyway which is imo hypocritical to the kink thing but still proves the accusations against her are false

roadhog guy continues doubling down on how ageplay/cnc/incest shipping/etc is Bad; yet argues that pup play is fine. he thinks ageplay is pedophilia but zoophilia isnt a problem to this guy i guess

despite the fact that the guy who made the pedo website is a trans dude and the victims in the doc were overwhelmingly transfem, random trans women who had no idea ezra was a creep are becoming the main targets of a ridiculous harassment campaign. its such blatant fucking transmisogyny it makes me want to crack my skull open

the neotrances/tyler friend group continues to be weird about it, including getting furious that healed defended herself from pedophilia allegations rather than vetting literally every blog she interacts with or trying to needlessly battle against adults engaging in consensual kink

i hate all of this. so deeply

ultimately my opinions are

ezra has done so many completely fucking awful things and deserves every inch of the backlash he received. he deserves no support for all of this. avoiding him seems to be the best course of action at the moment. part of that involves letting the legal shit go down rather than trying to out-twitter him and his friends over sex crimes. his site probably already had feds on it tbh.

having paraphilic feelings isnt a crime, but involving real children is. genuinely fuck all of the adults on ezra's site

aethy and its moderators experienced targeted harassment over shit they were uninvolved with. this included doxxing and harassing their families. this is especially cruel since they seem to be one of the few sources of common sense in the situation

the targeting of healed, avery, maia, and others: completely just transmisogyny. this shit is insane and nobody should be held to the batshit standards they were held to. please pay attention to this shit and dont let it happen again. don't let stupid discourse un-person a trans woman for something she literally didn't do.

raging about loli/ageplay/whatever the fuck is completely stupid, especially in this situation. when faced with an actual group of pedophiles who are targeting actual, living and breathing children, why do people scream about the fictional expressions of abuse rather than the real-world examples of it?

again. so much of this is just transmisogyny.

fuck tyler and his little clique . all to hell

the people who spread the doc tended to treat csa as a joke. the doc put victims on blast. the doc mishandled evidence.

apologies for any inaccuracies im somewhat late to the ordeal

#discourse #toonimal situation

[molsno]

I keep trying to post rent lowering gunshots on here which doesn't work because I've been too scared to go all the way for some reason and I've decided I'm not gonna be a whipping girl who caters to tmes anymore. maybe people will have enough decency to at least not harass me on my birthday.

anyway trans women who are into incest kink are cool. if that makes you personally uncomfortable, alright! the unfollow button is right there! but if you think that automatically makes me or any of the trans women I'm talking about groomers or sexual predators you are a raging transmisogynist lol. if you're unbothered by tme people calling their partners "daddy" or "mommy" but you draw the line at a trans woman calling her girlfriend, who she's not at all related to, "big sis" it's immediately obvious that you just think transfeminine intimacy is repulsive.

like, again, I'm not saying you have to be comfortable with any kink, but are you capable of viewing trans women with that kink as human beings? so many tme people claim to oppose things like incest kink because it "normalizes rape" and then go on to expose intimate details about trans women's sex lives without their consent, and it's so blatantly obvious that it's all horseshit. if you're publicly speculating about someone's sex life without permission you are violating their consent. it's an incredibly invasive breach of boundaries and it makes me sick to see how much disregard tme people have for trans women's privacy. it's clear you don't see us as people, just degenerate sex objects that you can discard at will.

and honestly the fact that this type of behavior is so common is the most frustrating part. have you ever stopped to wonder why there are seemingly a lot of trans women who are into incest kink - specifically involving sisters? did it ever occur to you that perhaps a lot of them are themselves victims of incest and csa? have you ever seriously considered that transfem relationships are generally more intimate than tme relationships because trans women are so starved of love and care that they fantasize about being unconditionally loved the way a sister would be instead of being discarded by everyone they know? like, trans women have our own community separate from the wider queer and trans communities specifically because we're so frequently outcasted by those communities the minute we do something they don't like.

I really don't care if I lose followers or even friends for this. if you think it's ok to harass, misgender, and publicly smear a trans woman for doing something no different than what tme people do, you're a transmisogynist. your opinion really does not fucking matter to me. I will stand with my fellow trans women over you forever and always.

#kvetching #transmisogyny

[autistic-beshelar]

Hey! I'm very interested in what you've told me about antisocial personality disorder, neurodivergence, and empathy vs. compassion so far. I would love to hear more!

hi, sorry this has taken me a bit to get to, i've had a hectic few days, and i knew i'd end up writing a lot!

ASPD:

i'll start by saying that i don't have ASPD, so i'm just going to give the basics and hand you off to people who DO have it. it's important to bear in mind that ASPD is primarily considered traumagenic, and that, like any other disorder, it can manifest in a bunch of different ways, and people with it can behave very differently from one another.

ASPD is a cluster b personality disorder characterised by low empathy, limited range and depth of emotions, disregard for other people's feelings, disregard for societal conventions and morality, chronic anger, and chronic boredom. the common view of pwASPD is that they are violent criminals, but that is primarily because research is only ever done on the worst kinds of people, and i'm sure many of them are misdiagnosed. i'm sure i don't need to explain to you why basing a disorder solely off of people in prison is fucked as a concept, given how both the prison system and psychiatry are both incredibly flawed. (it's also for this reason that i have no scientific studies to give you, because the only ones i've come across are grossly ableist)

having ASPD comes with a lot of challenges, but having a disorder - any disorder - doesn't make you a bad person. from what i have seen, a lot of pwASPD don't so much 'not have morals' as have a deep distrust of authority and base their morality on logic or serving their own interests. in fact i've seen an awful lot of pwASPD who are very left leaning or are anarchists. of course there's also plenty who are right wing assholes, but that kind of goes to show that a disorder doesn't dictate your morality, it just might lead you to approach your sense of morality differently.

ASPD resources, from actual pwASPD:

https://shitborderlinesdo.tumblr.com/post/115096247519/the-anti-social-personality-disorder-checklist

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/your-stories/life-with-antisocial-personality-disorder-aspd/ (cw for mention of csa)

https://inanawesomewave.tumblr.com/post/177638772232/the-bones-of-it

EMPATHY:

my favourite thing to rant about. empathy is wildly misunderstood by most people, so let's start off with a proper description. there are two main types of empathy: cognitive and affective. you will also see some people say that there's a third type, 'compassionate empathy', but i have never seen a definition of it that isn't based on the idea that empathy is necessary for compassion, so i'm ignoring it, and i'll get to compassion later.

cognitive empathy: basically, thinking about feeling. cognitive empathy is the ability to recognise and understand emotions. it is involved with reading people's expressions, or understanding why a certain situation might cause a certain emotional response.

affective empathy: this is typically what people mean when they talk about empathy - the ability to feel what someone else is feeling.

it's extremely important to note that this is fucking impossible. 'feeling what someone else is feeling' is some sci-fi nonsense. it isn't real. the belief that it is causes a lot of harm.

affective empathy, properly defined, is the a person's emotional response to an emotion that they perceive someone else having. it isn't always as simple as 'i'm happy because they're happy'. affective empathy can also be involved in more complicated situations, like feeling afraid because of perceived anger (which leads to a whole conversation about hyperempathy and hypervigilance and the relationship between them, but that's a whole other post that someone who actually has feelings would be more qualified to write)

so that's empathy. it's really just a bunch of feelings that we have about or in relation to other people's feelings. there's no moral component to feelings whatsoever. morality only comes into play when action is involved. which leads me to...

compassion: being kind, not as an inherent state of being, but as a choice.

i'll talk about my own experience here, but i've heard similar from other people with low/no empathy, and i've heard similar from some pwASPD as well.

i choose to be kind because i believe it's the right thing to do. i see a lot of injustice in the world, and it makes me furious - in fact, for me, it's primarily my anger that fuels my compassion. my morals have been based partly on feeling, but also on logic, and on a lot of research. to me, being kind is logical and sensible. it's logical to want people to be happy and safe and free. it benefits me too, for starters.

i don't need to feel sad about people's suffering to want it to stop. and though i don't really feel much empathy, i do still get emotional about things - i can still be sad or angry or happy about certain things happening, it's just... less than other people.

i look at the world around me and i try to find things that i can do to make it better because i think that's my job as a human. sometimes i'm bad at it, and sometimes i'm too tired to, but at the very least i can refuse to cause harm, and when i do, inevitably, cause harm, i can make amends.

(there's also a long discussion to be had about how basing your morality on your ability to empathise with people makes it extremely easy to no longer care about people who have been dehumanised, but that's a post i don't feel qualified to make)

a book i am desperate to read on this subject is Against Empathy by Paul Bloom, but here's an article about it, which is of course not perfect, but makes a lot of interesting points: https://www.vox.com/conversations/2017/1/19/14266230/empathy-morality-ethics-psychology-compassion-paul-bloom

i hope that helps explain some things. if you have - or anyone else has - more questions, feel free to ask, and i'll do my best to answer.

#empathy #low empathy #politics #kind of #autistic #actually autistic #there's a lot more i could say tbh but lets leave it there or i'll write an entire essay. with chapters #also i've used pwASPD because i usually see person first language used for personality disorders #and it's not my place to use identity first if that's not the community consensus #but pls let me know if you are ASPD/ are someone with ASPD (or another PD) and have thoughts or feelings on this #identity first vs person first is sth that's interesting to me #disability #ableism

[wc-confessions]

Cw/tw: Rape and death threats are mentioned.

Hello. I just wanted to say, Can we, as a fandom, protect minors and people in general from receiving threats? And exile those who did it. Especially if they involve threats of rape and death wishes? My friend on here got a ton of hate and harassment thrown at him in messages and inboxes because they said they didn't want Bramblestar apologists interacting with them. And instead, people were in his inbox, telling him they were going to rape him and mocking him for being a CSA survivor (child sexual assault/abuse). It's not cute. It's really dehumanizing and disheartening to see him being treated this way because he's setting boundaries. He set this boundary because he had a really bad experience with a Bramblestar stan. Is it so hard to respect others? It's not the end of the world. You don't know how badly someone is suffering, and what you say could be the last straw to push them over the edge. In general, this is a very big issue in this fandom. While rape threats aren’t common, death wishes and racial slurs are a huge and very common problem within the fandom. It’s actually very disgusting. And even more gross that I don’t see people talking about it or addressing this issue like we should. We’re so willing to scream and cry over pretty drama but never the actual harmful stuff. It’s not good.

#confession

[boy---interruptedd]

Alfred's Playhouse Commentary.

Alfred's playhouse is a vent show I recently discovered made by Emily Youcis. I will be addressing the actual content of the show before I move on to my opinion on Emily herself so please hold fire until the end because I KNOW what you're thinking.

TRIGGER WARNING - CSA, SH, CHILD ABUSE, NAZISM, GRAPHIC IMAGERY.

(Not all these themes are discussed in my post but you should be aware of these before watching the show)

Alfred's Playhouse features main character Alfred, who is a dog described in the introduction song as desperately attempting to escape his painful reality. I agree that it is genuinely disturbing, but I'd like to address its vague poignancy and how it deals with its themes.

In the first episode, we see what I think (as a survivor myself) to be the most accurate representation of how it feels to be sexually assaulted I've ever seen. The moment where everything is odd and numb and quiet followed by pure panic and rage.

The first episode also displays mental instability incredibly well. I've struggled with my mental health for the past six years and honestly the scenes where Alfred just rambles about essentially nothing at all, addressing an imagined audience, accurately represents what feels like the descent into madness many mentally ill people are convinced they go through. The thought that you've lost your mind is an extremely painful one and Alfred's Playhouse depicts that with surprising levels of accuracy.

Episode two, however, is essentially just this massive showcase of Alfred brutally harming himself. Though it portrays the very common desperate desire for attention many people experience when they struggle with self harm, myself included, I feel the level of gore is a little gratuitous, displaying Alfred almost bleeding to death from the wounds he's inflicted upon himself. That being said, it is a vent show so I see why Youcis made the decision. She never really made it for other people it was a way to make herself feel better. Then again, it was her decision to post it publicly.

Episode three essentially explains the whole show from a weirder perspective and honestly I don't want to go into it since I have so much to say and it's quarter past 11 at night and I have college tomorrow, but it is a good episode with the context of the show.

Overall, though it is important for assault victims and mentally ill people to have content in which they feel seen, I feel Youcis should have toned her work down a little before posting it. However, the Internet was a wild west in 2007.

Now onto Youcis herself, I feel it is incredibly unjustified to attribute her current political views to the show. She fell down the alt-right pipeline after publishing Alfred's Playhouse. This is almost definitely because of her downward spiral. It's not uncommon for groups like the alt-right to target vulnerable people like Emily. She has so clearly been crying for help for years and, though there's no excuse for her words or actions, I feel you should take her art for what it is rather than apply a made up meaning to it. The depictions of Nazis in the show - I think - are more a commentary on her childhood trauma and the themes of the show, Alfred feeling his life is dictated by someone/something else. While there's definitely better content in the genre and in general, the massive controversy surrounding Alfred's Playhouse is - in my opinion - unwarranted and really just watch it with an open mind and separate it from current Emily because she wasn't like she is now when she made it. Instead of hating on the present, understand the past and don't be overly shocked when mentally ill people do fucked up shit, especially when they've received the kind of backlash Emily Youcis faced.

Final disclaimer- I don't support her actions I hope she burns I just want people to understand things how they actually happened yk?

#alfreds playhouse #emily youcis #analogue horror #robin rambling

[dreamsndmadness]

Hello!! Me again, :)

I read the newest chapter(of bloodlines, which was awesome) and I was wondering about Paul. What about Feyd endears Paul? Honestly, Feyd doesn’t seem like someone Paul would be with given the choice especially considering Feyds first impression. It seems to me that at this point even tho Paul and his mother are still being the plotting little schemers we know and love and that Paul’s affections could be apart of some plan of theirs, his emotional boundaries are still somewhat being chipped away at by Feyd.

Also btw this isn’t relevant to the characters but I love how you worked your way around feyds social ineptness to give the readers hints to understanding Paul, for example in chapter 6 when they’re talking about the spice shipments and Paul says “it’s only been a few weeks since the change” and he gets a cloudy look in his eyes; I interpreted that as him also reflecting on how short it’s been since his father died and how his life has been drastically changed but Feyd doesn’t pick up on that at allllll lol.

Also do u mind if ppl draw fanart of ur fic? I’m a very slow artist but I’d love to draw some of ur scenes :3

Another wonderful question 😍.

To be quite honest about what Paul feels for Feyd, there really isn’t affection for him on Paul’s side (at this point!!). Feyd fell pretty fast and hard for obvious reasons. But there are so many more layers surrounding how Paul feels about Feyd. His kinda philosophy going into this was to basically have sex with him because he has to and remain extremely emotionally distant from this person who is part of the family that murdered his beloved father and destroyed his whole world. He very much would not have picked Feyd as a partner if situations were different. Which is part of the reason I am finding writing this story so fun, because it’s picking apart these characters' brains and figuring out a way they can fit together.

Very slight inklings of affection have been creeping up on him and will continue on to creep up on him in the coming chapters. But it is going to be a very slow burn for Paul emotionally. Where Feyd, at this point, is almost in love with him. I feel like each chapter represents another step forward in their relationship, for Feyd and Paul and oftentimes it means different things to them personally.

Paul is only just coming to acknowledge and accept that he’s physically attracted to this person, which in itself was a hard conclusion for him to come to as he was raped on his wedding night. Which was a frankly awful experience for him. Which is why we see him not physically turned on by Feyd for several encounters after that. He’s afraid and in his head and deeply uncomfortable. But Feyd has been pretty relentless about making sure Paul has an orgasm every time they fuck, so Paul was like “hold up… am I enjoying this?”. Basically, chapter 7 was him being like “okay, I enjoy having sex. But I think in order to make this better for the both of us, we need to come to some understandings about how we are going to have sex in the future”. He’s trying to figure out what he likes sexually as he was in fact a virgin before all of this went down. Basically he’s a little more comfortable around Feyd now, hence the slight playfulness in chapter 7 where he tickles him and then laughs at Feyd’s reaction. Honestly such a favorite moment of mine.

(Side note, Paul is going to have a POV chapter soon which will help to elucidate some of this).

So chapter 8 for Paul, that little interaction at the end. He's starting to see and understand that they have a common enemy and see how this could potentially open up some trust between them as they’ve both been hurt by this person. If anyone was wondering, yes I do think Paul knows about Feyd’s CSA. While I haven’t read the book yet, the movies seem to indicate that he gets flashes about people beside himself i.e. Dr Kynes when he knows that she loved and lost a Fremen warrior. In this story, Paul knows Feyd was sexually abused by his uncle. It helps give some perspective on this violent and frankly terrifying person in a way that allows him to feel sympathy and give a little more understanding and context to him as a person and their relationship as a whole. And the fact that at the end of chapter 8 Feyd seeks him out in a protective way rather than to demand sex, goes a long way in Paul having some more good will towards him.

In the next chapter, something else will happen as another step/layer to their relationship that will give Paul another “aha” moment. It’s going to help him feel even more comfortable in their marriage and kinda understand better how their dynamic is going to continue going forward (in a sexual and non sexual way).

Paul and Feyd are such different people with extremely disparate upbringings. Paul was deeply loved and protected by his parents who modeled love and affection for him and raised him to be an intelligent and empathetic person. However, he has little context for having friendships and relationships with people his own age or arguably at all. His only friends seemed to be his parents and much older mentor figures who were old enough to be his father or grandfather. Feyd is not only much younger than those people, but has absolutely no emotional maturity. So there's this very wide divide between them. To bridge that gap is going to take years. Which is why there is going to be more stories after bloodlines. It will not happen by the end of this fic. However, they are going to come to a (hopefully) satisfying emotional understanding by the last chapter. At least I’m very satisfied by it and excited to share it 😝.

If I could pinpoint what specifically endears Feyd to Paul, at this point… honestly not a lot… He is so so different from anyone he’s known before. I think he likes (sometimes), that Feyd surprises him (when it’s not a bad surprise, which honestly most of them have been). He’s much more of an instinctual and spontaneous person where Paul is thoughtful and analytical. I think he appreciates that Feyd seems to like him taking the lead in their sexual relationship. And I think he likes that Feyd seems to respect his intelligence and fighting abilities and actively seeks his council and input.

Oh my goodness this is incredibly long. Hopefully all of that makes sense 😝. Also, yes to Feyd not getting the implication behind Paul’s words in the scene about the time between the change.

ALSO YES PLEASE!!! Oh my goodness!!!!! If you made art for this story, I am not joking when I say I will print it out and frame 🥹❤️. (As long as you are okay with that, that is). Basically, I would be so honored and delighted.

#paul atreides #feyd rautha #paul x feyd #feyd x paul #feydpaul #asks #my writing

[moriphile]

Intro Post

Permission Given to Send Me Literally Anything in an Ask I Love Reading Your Random Thoughts and Comments

I'm going by Mori or M here for anonymity's sake, just like the little weirdo I love.

18+

He/they/it pronouns, no preference

AFAB & GNC transmasc

Call me a theyfab and I will eat you

Aegosexual, omnisexual, demiromantic

This is a blog dedicated to my struggles with paraphilias and PDs, as well as information surrounding them. I have multiple of both. As for PDs, this includes ASPD, NPD, BPD, and AVPD. My BPD is... especially severe. Routinely fucks up my life. As for paraphilias, I have more than I can count, but one is part of the Big 3; I am a staunchly anti-contact and non-offending 🗺️. I speak pretty openly about it because I'm tired of being vilified for it. Though other paraphilias will also be spoken about.

I am a survivor of CSA and grooming from multiple people (both contact and non contact), as well as an extremely mentally and verbally abusive household. I may speak on my trauma here but you have no right to ask me about it. Do not.

Feel free to ask me anything (except the previously stated). I'm an open book and love spreading information and sharing my experiences. There's no such thing as a stupid question as long as it's asked in earnest. Worst case scenario, I don't answer or point you to someone who can.

P.S. Before you say it, I am already in therapy. And am also in school to become a therapist. Double whammy.

Masterposts

MAP Resources

Common Tags

#m.beingpissyagain ; My more serious thoughts. Mostly unfiltered. It will also include important information from others.

Nested tags:

#m.pers info ; Information on personality disorders as a whole. #m.aspd info ; Information on ASPD. #m.npd info ; Information on NPD. #m.bpd info ; Information on BPD. #m.avpd info ; Information on AVPD.

#m.para info ; Information on paraphilias as a whole. #m.big 3 info ; Information on the big 3 as a whole. #m.pdf info ; Information on pedophilia.

#m.cptsd info ; Information on c-ptsd.

#m.kink info ; Information on kink as a whole.

#m.asks ; Asks. That's it lol. They usually don't fit anywhere else.

#m.positivity ; Positivity posts! About a variety of things.

#m.thedemonswon ; My paraphilic thoughts. Almost entirely unfiltered. All posts will be marked as mature, but I don't generally provide specific CWs. Mute this tag if you don't want the graphic shit.

#m.venting ; Me venting when it's not also something important. I will not mark these posts as mature or provide specific CWs, as I find it disrespectful to request people censor themselves when venting. Mute this tag if this bothers you.

#m.fuckassery ; My random weird thoughts. Have fun trying to make sense of them.

#m.rb ; My random reblogs. Usually memes or things I find funny.

#m.discourse ; Because I can't stay away.

Content Warnings

I will talk about a wide variety of disturbing and uncomfortable topics here, usually untagged. I don't like to censor myself. These content warnings include but are not limited to:

Paraphilias (duh). If you don't want to see anything related to 🗺️s, mute #🍸.

Mental disorders, heavily focused on PDs.

Intrusive fantasies & thoughts.

Abuse and trauma of... all kinds really. Child abuse or otherwise.

Idolization and romanticization of horrible things and people (yes, I'm aware of it. No, I can't help it. Piss off).

Honestly, if you can think of it, it could probably be on this list. Just be aware and cautious I guess.

Stances and DNI

I do not have many boundaries, but they are very harsh and I do not appreciate them being disrespected. I will block you.

Stances

Pro recovery (specific views in link), psych critical.

Very pro kink.

Cluster b abuse does not exist, you were emotionally abused.

Transandrophobia is just as real and harmful as transmisogyny.

Contradictory labels are great. Go be hot and sexy.

MOGAI, LIOM, and xenogenders are great. Go be hot and sexy.

Otherkins, therians, etc. are great. Go be hot and sexy.

Singlet and thus divorced from syscource. If you're chill, we're chill.

Anti-contact (for paras that would infringe upon consent) and absolutely unwilling to engage in discourse on this viewpoint.

Proship, darkship, comship, etc.

Pro para.

Anti-radqueer and transID.

RPF of minors is, by law, CSEM.

Don't approach me with discourse. If I want to engage, I will.

DNI

Minors. I swear to god do not interact with me.

Thinspo. It's a genuine trigger.

I don't particularly care who interacts with my blog (besides minors and thinspo). I also don't particularly care if I'm on your DNI or not (unless you're anti-MAP, in which case I will block you for my own safety), I'm gonna interact anyway. Feel free to block me if that bothers you.

However, if you're touting harmful ideology to yourself or others (AAMs seeking MAPs, MAPs seeking AAMs, pro-cs, etc), I am more than willing to report you.

#actually borderline #actually antisocial #actually avpd #actually npd #actually aspd #actually bpd #pro recovery #anti contact #low empathy #pro paraphile #pro para #para safe #paraphile safe #big 3 safe #big three safe #aspd safe #bpd safe #npd safe #avpd safe #cluster b safe

[punkeropercyjackson]

"The Atsv fandom is so obsessed with Spiderdads because they didn't give us a canon queer relathionship!!!"Yes they did.They literally fucking did,Gwen's finally a canon trans girl after decades of accidental subtext that slowly escalated into equally accidental coding so the writers did research to canonize her and do it respectfully and realistically and they also adapted Hobie as a gnc character basing his style and presentation off irl genderqueer black punks and their dynamic is that he's a slightly older non-cis person with way more experience that took her in after her abusive dad that only pretended to fully support her kicked her out so they became best friends and love eachother with their whole hearts and have a lot in common but also a few differences and act super protective of eachother,that's queer,that's the t in lgbt,it happens irl,it happened IN CANON but none of you talking skidmarks care about trans girls and black trans people and the almost inherent solidarity between us we cherish so dearly so much none of you care about Gwen and Hobie either because Gwen's a cute lil pastel punk trans girl who hasn't finished transitioning and does her best to be nice despite all the trauma fuckery she goes through and probably loves actual indie stuff instead of Taylor Swift or some other poser shit and Hobie's an extremely strongfeatured and by extension equally cute black punk who does actual activism and direct action and his blackness is extremely important both in a meta sense and to him personally and Gwen treats Hobie like a person instead of a pet or an abuser and Hobie treats Gwen like a person too instead of a sex object or a monster so y'all 'just can't relate' since you only care about your white boys who aren't even canon trans because they speak fluid sarcasm and dress like geeks and that's why you'd rather turn Peter B into a sexual harraser WHEN HE'S CANONICALLY A CSA SURVIVOR IN THE COMICS and Miguel into a latin lover who also gets animalized.Leave the fandom i'm so serious,Gwen and Hobie don't deserve to have their beautiful relathionship ignored in favor of.......ALL THIS.I don't even know what to call it,it's just fucking disgusting and i wish y'all had never known Miguel and my mans since 2018 exist ong

#ghostpunk #siblings!ghost punk #pro ghostpunk #t4t ghostpunk #gwen stacy #hobie brown #trans gwen stacy #trans hobie brown #transmasc or transfem or transneutral or secret fourth things you pick #peter b parker #miguel o'hara #antispiderdads #atsv #spiderman #autistic gwen stacy #catgirl gwen tag #black gwen stacy #gamer gwen #kidcore!gwen stacy #ace hobie #autistic hobie brown #team dad hobie #mama's boy hobie #hobie is jamaican #punkgamerghost #< familial brotp tag for gwen hobie and my spidersona #bigotry #child molestation cw #summerposting #anti taylor swift

[taffywabbit]

im also anti proship but calling rugrats porn drawings "child porn" really dilutes the severity of actual child porn. we shouldnt be confusing actual cp that hurts real children with just weirdos drawing porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids, the two things are not at all on the same level

ok i suppose this was inevitable, i may as well get into it.

(CW for some discussion of CSA and child pornography, obviously)

first off, "i'm also anti proship but" is a terrifying way to start your message, and to go and follow it up with some extremely common proship copypasta i've heard a million times about "taking attention/resources/severity/etc away from real CSA victims" or whatever kinda makes me wonder how "anti proship" you actually are...?

kind of the point of this whole debate is typically that "proship" folks insist that fiction, or in this case "porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids" as you put it, has no effect on reality or people's mindsets. and so-called "antis" like myself generally respond to this idea with something along the lines of "well it sure seems to affect the reality of your cock and balls", and point out how repeatedly consuming media with a particular focus or message has been shown time and time again to quantifiably influence the way people view the world around them, in ways that subsequently affect how they act, or desensitize them to things that might otherwise upset/offend them. y'know, like political propaganda! or blockbuster movies about killer sharks! obviously some people are going to be more resilient against that sort of influence when the real-world equivalent of "porn of cartoon characters that happen to be kids" is something so blatantly unacceptable, and nobody is really claiming that the impact of fictional CP is "on the same level" as its IRL counterpart.

but at the very least, most people who would be considered "anti proship" WILL tell you "hey, i'm not trying to say that you jerking it to twitter porn of Gwen Tennyson or Tails or whatever is LITERALLY THE SAME as committing CSA, but it's still really fucking concerning and creepy that the majority of your sexual fixations are all specifically cutesy vulnerable cartoon characters under the age of 12, many of whom also have canonical adult designs that you conveniently avoid in favor of sexualizing the ones that are barely old enough to learn long division. you should maybe do some introspection and figure out why that is and whether or not you're really comfortable with what it implies about you. personally i know I'M not comfortable with that shit and i'm not going to keep hanging around you unless you make some serious changes." except usually in my experience the conversation ends up being a lot shorter and ends in a block pretty quickly. like i'm not a psychologist and i don't keep a bunch of studies on hand to throw at you about how fictional CP is often a factor in grooming, but i DO have a brain and can pretty clearly see when someone is rationalizing behavior that will lead them to places i'm not willing to follow.

ANYWAYS to focus more specifically on the actual reason we're talking about this (which was, to be clear, a mobile ad Tumblr served me that depicted one of the dads from Rugrats having sex with his 3yo daughter): yes, actually, that shit IS illegal to create or distribute. it's not the SAME as literal photographs of real children, OBVIOUSLY, but it's still also extremely fucked up in its own right, and any reasonable person in your life would probably stop talking to you if you told them you got off to it.

don't believe me about the legality part? check this out:

so like, I GUESS you might get some legal leeway with cub furry art or sonic porn or stuff that isn't always obvious in how much it's intended to parallel real children? if you really care? but this ad was literally multiple illustrations of a human adult man having intercourse with a human toddler. it's pornography centered around openly fetishizing the sexual assault of a child by a parent. i fail to see how referring to that in shorthand as "child porn" is inaccurate in any way that matters.

and Tumblr is a US-based company, beholden to the laws shown above, so they are at least somewhat responsible when illustrated pedophilic incest porn gets shown to thousands of their mobile app users in an ad they got paid to display. THAT was the original point i was making in my post. but thank you for trying to derail it to interrogate my "anti proship" views or whatever, i have had multiple people send me fairly nasty asks about it in the past year and you finally caught me in a moment when i was already pissed enough about something else that i felt like going off about this stuff. sorry if you actually agreed with most of this and i came off as overly rude/harsh, but if that's the case then this response is for all the other anon asks and replies i've gotten too, i guess.

now we're all clear about where i stand and i hopefully don't need to talk about this again - it's kind of a fucking bummer to think about this stuff and i've been avoiding the subject intentionally. you are always welcome to just block me if you have a problem

#buny text #ask #anonymous #cw CSA mention #nsft

[granulesofsand]

🗝️🏷️ CSA, SA, details about sexual functions, shame

To the person with the CSA ask from a few days ago; I wasn’t sure if you wanted it attached, I know sexuality can be a touchy subject for the public eye.

Not Remembering

Memories of sexual abuse are often hidden deeper down. There’s an air of secrecy and shame already heavy in many mainstream cultures, even with consensual sexual activity.

Some children have direct interactions that teach them to dissociate those events further, others learn just by their environment.

Similarly, instances of COCSA are treated as ‘lesser’ than CSA by adults, and may surface sooner than other types. Same goes for abuse unaffiliated with a group or beloved figure.

Symptomology

There is no one presentation of physical symptoms. Sexual disfunction is common overall, but it can be difficult to find specifics.

Oftentimes both extremes are possible— hyper sexuality and hypo sexuality, preoccupation with a trigger and avoidance of it, risky behavior and refusing all contact.

There are also some things that are frequently observed in survivors. Mixing up fear or pain with pleasure is normal. Worrying about predatory behaviors within yourself is normal. Lots of kinks stem from trauma, that’s normal.

Normal for CSA survivors is just different than normal for the general population.

Bad Enough

Any amount of maltreatment is enough for a person to develop these symptoms, and some will have them even if their experiences don’t align with what clinicians currently call trauma.

Symptoms can be programmed in. A particular event repeated or a staged occurrence could be used to create a desired response, and sometimes symptoms are noticed before memories come up.

It could go either way, and it’ll take time for both. You have the choice to wait for memories or to dig for them, to analyze what you find or leave it well alone.

Diving In

A good therapist is always recommended, but at least have backup plans in case things go awry. Internal and external supports, muscle-memory coping skills for when survival responses arise, comfort at the ready.

Take lots of breaks and do your best to notice distress inside. It’s quite alright to discover your memories paint a different picture. Be kind to yourself/selves, good internal relationships are more important than finding some absolute truth.

Stepping Back

It’s also not wrong to decide to close this door for now. Your safety should come first, and that might mean aiming for stability over answers.

Keep gentle track of symptoms and journal when it feels feasible. Take care of you, whatever that looks like. Maybe pick another goal to focus on for the time being.

I hope this helped, please reach out again if you still have questions.

#tw csa #tw cocsa #tw sa #tw child abuse #tw ramcoa #ramcoa #osddid #did osdd #dissociative identity disorder #polyfragmented system