#it's fucking with my head big time

[insanityisfine]

Lowkey pissed at how erectyle dysfunction has become commonly known across several languages as "impotence".

Like.

I'm sure it's incredibly frustrating and alarming and worrying, especially if it happens to someone younger. I'm not trying to minimize that.

But do you know what impotence feels like?

It's despair, it's understanding why Sysyphus' punishement was insanely cruel well beyond physical fatigue.

It's seeing someone you love suffer and knowing there's literally nothing you can do to help, not even hold or confort them, because they're in so much pain there's no possible relief. There's no meds you can buy that haven't already been bought, there's no appointments you can make that you haven't made already.

You have done something, hell, you've done all you possibly could. And it still changed nothing. All you have left to do is wait. And it kills you. Ever. So. Slowly.

That's impotence.

#I just had a crying session and I'm able to think clearly again #but damn #it's fucking with my head big time #like #I'm just a witness by happenstance #and it hurts ME #can you imagine the amount of literal physical and mental pain she's in?? #because I'm here and I don't think I can #I'm not trying to make this about myself it is NOT about me #but I'm involved nonetheless #and Imma need to start building my physical strenght back up #because I'm TERRIFIED that one day she'll need me to physically help her and I won't be able to #fuck me I couldn't even help my grandma on my own and she was a tiny and light woman #not even 70 kilos #how am I supposed to help my mum when I'm like this? #and where in the FUCK am I supposed to find the mental fortitude to actually act and improve this? #yall feel free to ignore all of this crap I'm just venting #it's only a tuesday and it's already been ONE OF THOSE WEEKS #thank god I have tomorrow off #I need to wind down

[mugwot]

someone

#act 5 my beloved my beloathed #at this point in the game i think my brain was a bit fried cos i legit forgot how stories happen and was like yep this is how i die #made it so i straight up exploded afterwards lol just inconsolable #mal du pays #is me when i fucking gets you #cracking open a boy with the cold ones #oh to have your head grabbed in a vice grip by your inner demons <3 #isat spoilers #like kinda big ones #isat siffrin #isat mal du pays #in stars and time #some pose practice kinda got away from me #turns out if you change up how you sketch it can make you a bit looser with it which was nice c: #in this case i sketched with light colour on a dark background #my art

[soldier-lodbrok]

"You're gonna live... Sephiroth." / sketch

I told you, since Zack can have his dramatic death-scene and that EC event threw the Glenn&Sephiroth and Zack&Cloud comparisons in my face, this would happen.

#.myart #Glenn Lodbrok #Sephiroth #Final Fantasy VII #Final Fantasy VII Ever Crisis #Glenn's arm is just too fucking short and it looked wrong to have him grab Seph's head so we swapped #hah #this is actually my first time in years drawing Seph! #he cant gift you his big ass fucking axe tho Seph sorry

[diurnalrevelation]

sleuth jesters eclipse makes me want to throw a brick at him.

#im joking i would kiss him on the forehead but #he sucks!!! he fucking sucks!!! #but man does he suck in an interesting way!!! #every time i see or read about him i imagine picking up a big red brick and chucking it at his stupid flat ass head #i would dance on his kneecaps #eclipse #sleuth jesters #sorry for gumming up the main tag but also this is my blog #dreaming at dawn

[opportunity-strikes]

hey so this is your permission not to improve at your hobbies. you dont gotta do more or try new things with it. you arent obligated. are you happy drawing the same 3/4 profile headshot of your blorbo??? do that. enjoy walking but dont wanna go further than your usual route at your usual pace? dont. enjoy collecting trading cards but dont actually like playing the game? never play the game. like learning the names of birds but dont care about their calls? just learn those names babeeeyyyy.

do what as you want and as many times as you want in the ways you want to. i am actually asking you to do this. you dont even need to get better. crush that weird feeling that you need to be doing 'more'. the goal doesnt have to be improvement. it might happen incidentally but like, thats whatever. you can set the goalposts and then just sit by them and enjoy the scenery. if you decide to move them or get up and sit somewhere else thats cool, but you dont gotta. doing things that make you happy is enough

#can Improvment be fulfilling? yes. but this aint about that. #being stationary can be fulfilling too. being content can be fulfilling. its okay not to try and optimize your hobbies #i spent a year not Trying To Be Better at drawing and just making my characters in little comics with noodle arms a big round heads #and it was so much fucking fun #i never got better at them. so many of them looked the same. didn't care it was fun to draw them #i enjoyed them. i enjoyed sharing them #and then i decided okay time for something different and moved along #you're allowed to rest on your laurels no matter what #you absolutely should be resting on your laurels

[revenantghost]

Sometimes I think about how Nightow said something like (and I'm paraphrasing here) Vash only stays "Vash the Stampede" at the end of Trimax and continues to play that role simply because he doesn't know what to do

#Trigun #Trimax #Trimax Spoilers #TrigunBookclub #This man has no fucking idea how to live or how to want to live #Which #Such a fucking big mood my dude #I probably won't be able to finish reading bookclub #But that last chapter makes me SO sad man #I was hoping this reread would reframe it #So many folks that I've shared theories and thoughts with have the opposite view I had at the end of my first reading #But alas #I probably won't have the time #So it shall stay sad in my head #Btw I do NOT have this article source on hand #But I think it's the same one I mentioned on the post I reblogged a bit ago #Hence me chewing on it #Pls correct me if I'm not remembering the gist right

[dol-dee]

🥇Winners of "Worst Couple in Town" competition<33🥇 Foxglove (pc) belongs to @getinthefuckingcarkitten

#dol avery #degrees of lewdity #dol fanart #dolgl #dol pc #avery the businessperson #avery the businessbutch #doldykes #foxglove the vixen #dol shitpost #I was at work doing clean up when this came to me dfsd I couldn't get it out of my head #Hi Car I'm so sorry that instead of a cute little foxvery moment you get another shitpost #I had to laugh the whole time I was drawing this #I remembered the butterflyclip you use ingame and i think the bow looks way better this way < certified genius moment/j #also excuse the rough af rendering goin on #i gotta make a chibi for foxy at some point shes so cute I want to aggressively squish and bounce her like a stressball #< huh is that how avery feels? #fuck aveys hand might be a tad too big.. everyone ignore that

[puhpandas]

I love ggy so much how did they accidentally make the most intriguing hypothetical gay romance ever

#also the book is just so fucking good #and tony becker is literally the best fnaf book protaganist ever once you understand his character #and how crazy the book writes him #like oh my god hes so tunnel visioned doomed by the narritave #any scenario where tony survives the attack is the best idea ever like fr #its just so fun and awesome to make stuff up with that very loose premise #like u can do anything #and the characters are likeable too because they have FLAWS #tony isnt a bad person hes just in a bad place and is an asshole without realizing #and also twelve #like how am i not supposed to become obsessed with beckory when tony spent the whole book #accidentally obsessing over gregorys evil side and then being so tunnel visioned by his own emotional baggage that it kills him #exactly how his father warned him #and his father is the reason hes even so deep into solving mysteries like #and u can put that onto gregory if tony ever survived the attack #like he wouldnt want to believe it the same way he didndt want to believe his dad did it and repeat history #by delving deep into ggy #like damn every relationship ever with gregory is so fucking interesting #ggy never stop being awesome #pandas.txt #obviously beckory isnt the only reason i like ggy but damn its a big reason #tony and Gregory are both so flawed and have so much going on in their head theyd be fucking crazy together #also expanding on the tony stuff i said earlier gregorys side has so much potential too like #even if tony died if gregory ever remembered hed mourn tony and have to deal with that #even if they werent even that close at the time and Gregory doesnt even like. actually have any memories of being friends with him #and if tony survived its like gregorys remembering this faceless nameless boy as the only connection to his past #like what if they both searched for eachother after surviving what then

[jenna-louise-jamie]

i cannot stop thinking about ian rider. more specifically, how alex had so many unprocessed feelings about him after his death. imagine being an orphan, getting adopted by your uncle as a baby, having him raise you for 14 years then discovering he lied to you your entire life. that he [unintentionally or not] trained you to be something you never wanted to be under the guise of bonding with you. never being able to ask him what his actual intentions were because he's dead. never getting closure for it. im going to throw up.

#i remember reading stormbreaker for the first time and i could not stop crying the entire book #i have big emotions dont blame me #but seeing alex follow in ian's footsteps quite literally seeing and living through what lead to his death #it fucked me up #i dont remember if it was outright stated in the books but alex wondering the entire time if ian even loved him? #it wasn't framed directly but thats how i interpreted it #i cant even coherently put into words all my thoughts about this #ontop of everything else this is one of the core things that makes me so emotional over this silly little book series like holy shit #alex my son i just want to give you a hug #alex rider #alex rider books #ian rider #please don't get me started about my thoughts of whether or not ian did in fact love him #my head might explode #these books fucked up my brain chemistry permanently

[shegoesbyjoy]

collecting images of lu guang's smile from this season like they're precious gemstones

#the end of e7 made me scream #was literally shaking from how exciting that lg moment was holy shit #big day for lu guang fans #that shot of him looking down at cxs lives rent free in my head now #his tiny smiles are what's getting me through all the emotional distress that this season is causing me lmao #also the fight choreography in this ep?! actually unreal. so fucking good #i am heartbroken about wang juan tho :((( #link click #link click spoilers #link click s2 #link click season 2 #lu guang #sgdlr #shi guang dai li ren #shiguang daili ren #time agents #時光代理人

[remyfire]

#leo how big is your fucking head my guy #this is reminiscent of mike's enlistment photo actually where the hat is just so fucking massive it makes me laugh every time #bj hunnicutt #hawkeye pierce #sherman potter #m*a*s*h #mashblogging #mashposting #last laugh #s6e4

[applesaucesomething]

I wanted to draw sif close to the canon sprite before I do some more stylised drawings of him

#yes I know that’s not how their cape works #but for my sanity that’s how it will work #capes are so cool in charecter designs but fucking suck to figure out how they work #charecters with big hats and capes are so cool #saying that knowing there are like two charecters I can think of off the top of my head with that design #I need siffrins hairstyle #my art #in stars and time #isat siffrin #isat fanart #just realised I meant cloak not cape but woops

[hobgoblinns]

the inherent homoeroticism of having your mind telepathically invaded by your oldest friend and enemy whom you thought was long dead as he reluctantly pleads for your help, causing you to immediately rush to his aid even if it means revisiting your most traumatic memory

#i realised some thoschei mutuals haven’t heard this yet and my GOD. you’re missing out #‘he should have fucked that old man’ well this is the closest it gets #the way you can hear him in pain when the master is inside his head #the way the tardis tries to discourage him but he doesn’t even hesitate #the fact that the last time they met he tortured him for a year and yet his instinct is still to help him #dear god. this audio is so insane #it’s in my top 3 for sure. maybe even my favourite #doctor who #thoschei #ten x jacobi!master #big finish #dweu #david tennant #derek jacobi #vid #hob.txt

[puppyeared]

Pajamas

#still trying to get the hang of drawing tummies #I always forget theres like. stuff between the collarbone and the hips. sometimes I forget hips exist 🗿 #my brains so used to it now that drawing like. riblines and stomachs feels like the body is ‘””’too long’ #I pose in the mirror a lot for reference and she ends up being my guinea pig 🧍 #I cant do complex stuff comfortably though. I have a hard time wrapping my head around foreshortening #walking around in a crop top and underwear is funnn. maybe they were right about those #swimsuit outfits. I want to draw more like these #no not swimsuit I was thinking of the fucking. the big jakt or big pant post. you already know which one I fall under #my art #myart #doodles #my oc #oc #Augusta #partial nudity #OH THAT WAS THE WORD I WAS TRYING TO THINK OF #I posted this in another server but I felt the need to spoiler it and I couldn’t remember the word #like its not suggestive and there are no genitals. but shes technically in her underwear and showing a lot of skin #cw partial nudity

[oatbugs]

i think if i painted my ex situationship i'd be cured it's the most shallow but intense connection i've had w anyone i think i am so obsessed w how she looks i want 2 photograph her/paint her forever rant in tags but ive talked abt it b4 so feel free to ignore

#god her personality is so . kind of repulsive its insane i think shes a good friend to her friends but #the way she just openly admitted to treating her exes like they r less than human w the most beautiful smile u have seen in ur life #shes acc tainted tottenham court for me bc i keep thinking of our second date where she wrapped her hands around me from behind waiting for #the train . also yh sorry we were one of those cringe ppl on the escalator sorry sorry never again sorry #shes shorter than me but on the escelators she was taller so she kissed the top of my head gently #w the most beautiful side profile on earth she said she didnt even lead me on. its fine it was never that serious #ill FUCKING KILL YOU #thinking abt when on a date she was like . yh my ex would look lovely pregnant 😊 like bitch. WHAT #also she has central heterochromia so like . super beautiful big green/brown eyes longest eyelashes ever + i dont want to lose you i think #im 80% sure we should just be friends ok my love #i took you to a party on a high-rise and you held my neck when u kissed me on a canary wharf rooftop and now you just told me you want to #fuck pregnant women and that you basically cheated on your ex who then cheated on you but its ok bc shes the love of ur life #???? #anyway #sorry i am acc basically almost entirely over her this was triggered by her texting me to meet up a few mins ago #after ghosting me for a while . anywya w/e time to hang out w friends and study

[nerosdayinanime]

beautiful that we get a nice wet beast wednesday to start off mermay, no?

gay little fish but i made him look like a blue sea dragon

#tomioka giyuu #giyuu #loserboy giyuu posting #merfolk #mermaid au #neros art tag #wet beast wednesday #i was drawing the v1 au sabito but his pectoral & dorsal fins are SUCH a pain in the fucking ass (i havent drawn them) #and i cant look at other ppls mermaids bc nO ONE GIVES THEM FUCKING F I N S. THEY CANT FUCKING SWIM. LIKE THEYRE EELS INSTEAD OF FISH #i also dont think im gonna get to draw today bc my shoulder is being fucky for no reason >:( but i WILL to mermay shit on time this year #and not. september lmao #he big ol eyes.... #oh yeah originally i didnt think much of it for v5 but now im thinking sakonji's head researcher and makomo & sabito are his two top team #also cute idea i might do for v5 on sbgy sunday is sabito gently moving giyuu around to get a good look at his patterning #then giyuu turning around to look @ him. oooo wait giyuu names him sunspeck but then sabito takes off his shirt and he gets to see #how he's speckled like that all over not just his face<3 hehehe i cant wait to draw that lpease i need to #oh yeah i didnt give sab freckles in that older pic. loser shit #??? giyuus neck looks weird long. ignore that