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attorneys-against-court-violence · 9 months

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Alright sit down I'm ranking Dual Destinies culprits. Spoilers abound!

Just going to list my thoughts on all 5 culprits in order of beloved to beloathed. Expect me to be mean.

Marlon Rimes

Easily the most nuanced and sympathetic of them all, and a well-written one to boot! His grudge against the orca is understandable, yet flawed in a very human way. He had no intentions of harming anyone - in fact he wanted to save his co-workers from what he saw as a dangerous animal. When Sasha was arrested he went out of his way to lie in order to get her off the hook. When push came to shove, he accepted his sentence to save her and punish himself for unintentionally setting up the Captain's death. It's all the more heartbreaking that Azura wasn't even killed by the previous orca, rendering all of his hatred and actions resulting from it irrational and unfounded. He sort of reminds me of both Simon and Aura in a few ways; taking the fall to save a friend, trying to enact revenge on someone he saw as a crazed, emotionless animal... his plight has plenty in common with both. 5-DLC gets a lot of praise in my books for its parallels to the main conflict (not that the other cases lack them) and Marlon is no exception.

The thing that makes Marlon so compelling is that he isn't a monster. He doesn't even have much of an ego, calling himself too weak to save anyone. He's a man who acted on his rage and made a dreadful mistake in doing so, trying to right his wrongs and eventually being forced to give up and admit that he had no right to do what he had done. Even agreeing that he had no right pruely on the basis of it causing someone to die inderectly. Him being rehabilitated at the end is the feather-on-the-cap to show that he's someone the characters genuinely care about and wish to do better in spite of his flaws. It took a while and plenty of evidence, but the Captain's words finally got through to him and he's a lot better for it. His animations are wonderfully creative, by the way! Turning the spyglass into a faux microphone, re-using the bucket of fish for a Popeye-esque transformation, the name-tag turning into a rapper's gold chain, his breakdown turning the witness stand into both a helm and a set of prison bars - so much visual creativity with this guy! It's such a treat.

The worst I can say about him is that the rapping is a bit of a stereotype. Yes, this is the same game that body-shames the one fat character, has no idea what a trans person is, and... well we'll save that part for later. No one enjoys that. That said, I'm willing to say the good far outways the bad here. It lead to one of the funniest witness testimonies in the series so I can't be too mad!

2. Ted Tonate

What a peculiar character... semi-verbal, anti-social, obsessed with explosives, and overall a strange specimen to behold. It doesn't feel like he has a specific quirk more than it feels like everything about him is off-beat, ranging from uncomfortably still to absolutely feral. I like it!

More importantly - while he did commit murder and assault - he does serve an important role in the plot and is not completely incompetent or heartless. That courtroom would have become a graveyard without his warning, after all! He's a bit like Frank Sawhit where he'll resort to physical violence under pressure but doesn't seem to have intended to kill necessarily. Difference is Frank was a common thief, while Ted's a bona-fide member of the police's bomb disposal unit who - black market deals aside - actually carries his duties out and does a good job. Nice little misdirection there too. That opening monologue fits the phantom better than Ted but we don't figure that until near the end. It doesn't erase the fact he's done some terrible things but at he's not a monster. Just a woefully anti-social guy who doesn't respond well to being called out.

Dual Destinies gets a surprising amount of mileage out of its Case 1 antagonist and it's a treat to watch. There's plenty that case does to give the game a bad first impression, but Ted's not one of them. He can stay!

3. Aristotle Means Aaaaaaaand we've nose-dived. Prepare for snark.

Means is emblematic of a much larger issue with Dual Destinies; it doesn't seem interested in treating the main conflicts of its cases as much more than generic good vs evil despite having an abundance of material to make things more interesting. Yes, I know Ace Attorney culprits aren't the most 3-dimensional bunch - usually the character conflicts they cause are the most interesting parts. Though they usually make things fun by being smarmy bastards. Means is just repeatitive. It's one thing to be a shallow bad guy, it's another thing entirely to beat you over the head with a single catchphrase without putting any spins on it. Manfred has the same one-track mind in his philosophy but he never felt this aggressively tedious about it. There's also the fact that, well... the ends DID justify the means in the end. Dual Destinies' main conflict would not have been solved without Aura taking extreme measures to save Simon. Having that while saying "doing bad things is bad no matter what!" with this guy makes him feel all the more flimsy and misguided. Him wanting to save Juniper and honour her wishes by any means necessary is a nice way to add flavour to the conflict but it's grossly overshadowed by him being a flat cartoon for the most part.

I feel like there's a sorely missed opportunity here for him to point out that Phoenix Wright also exercised that philosophy at times. Yes I'm talking about forging evidence in 4-1, it would have been a nice way to make his conflict with Athena more interesting. Pointing out that her boss is an exemplar of "the ends justifies the means" - especially with Apollo in the same room - is an idea that fills my brain with thinks. Might have even been the reason why he invited Nick to the academy too... oh well. It takes a lot to bouy a one-track villain like him up as it is without actively adding more baggage through redundancy and lack of presence. He doesn't even do much of anything or have a chance to BE evil before his hair stands up like other villains. He's just. Annoying. I know I keep comparing him to Manfred, but imagine a version of him that didn't do anything until the tail-end of the last trial and with none of the backstory and gravitas. That's the level Means is at.

A crappier Manfred. Joy to the world!

4. ???

YOU COULD HAVE BEEN SOMEBODY! YOU HAD SO MUCH POTENTIAL! Hell, he arguably does have dramatic weight as-written. He's the embodiment of the distrust and denial of ones true feelings/identity that has caused this racket in the first place. Dual Destinies as a whole is a game about people who put on masks to do what they feel is right or necessary, then being forced to take the mask off, confront themselves and their actions for what they truly are. Having a villain who's hidden his identity this entire time is such a fitting choice! It's just a shame that he, oh you know, it's small thing it doesn't really matter... DIDN'T HAVE AN IDENTITY WORTH HIDING TO BEGIN WITH!!! Dual Destinies beats you over the head about how scary this guy is for having no personality. And that's exactly the problem. When you spend that much time telling people the villain isn't worth caring about then that's what people are going to take away. Nevermind that his personality for most of the game was a goofy detective man who valued JUSTICE! above all else, a man who is willing to question his own definitions of it despite what others may think but still allows it to justify doing awful things like zapping Simon. Maybe that could have been the answer! That he allowed his perception of JUSTICE! to warp so much that he became this ghoulish ghost who kills and commits acts of terrorism without remorse. His life being threatened when his literal mask falls acting as a metaphor for how he is unable to confront himself for who he is and what he's done; he, in his own eyes, would be the least justified of them all, and so he has forsaken his identity to avoid that truth. A truth that would spell the end both within and without.

But no. The game does everything in its power to tell you he's a hollow, empty husk of a human being. More importantly, even if the above was the case it doesn't do anything at all with the concept. It just comes across that his main conflict is "who tf am I?" Which is... oddly sad and worrying? Yes, I do think the idea of letting your true self go leading to awful, terrible things and the horror of realising that that's exactly what you did - even denying it or using it as a point of strength - is an interesting and befitting idea. They just don't do anything with it before he's already carted off to the pile of characters we'll never hear from again. There's nothing there by design to the point where it doesn't feel like there was anything he COULD have discarded in the first place. His lack of identity feels less like a concept the writers wanted to explore and more of an excuse to get a twist villain who could pretend to be anybody.

It's a diservice to both the story and to the false identity he had before this. "Bobby Fulbright" somehow ended up a more interesting character and he's the one who's chastised by other characters for being a simple idiot! And he was discarded for this guy! "Bobby" should have mattered more, both to the characters and to the phantom's identity. Not get an unceremonial "he was dead the whole time" reveal and be completely divorced from the phantom's character in every way the story can think to do. Erasure in more ways than one... no wonder people felt betrayed. In a bad way. You shouldn't feel betrayed by the writing if it's any good and that's how plenty - myself included - felt. Oh, and having the only character who's low/no emotion be the shallow bad guy is not a great look... I'll say it again; the problem isn't that he's the antagonist. It's that he's not a well-written one. A psychopath would be fascinating as a character in ANY role in this psychology-focused mystery game if Dual Destinies had the gall to make one that's actually interesting. Remember what I said about Means crushing the conflict into something too simple for the concept behind it? The phantom does that on a wider scale and it deals a massive blow to Dual Destinies to have its overarching villain so infuriatingly empty and disposable. It makes themes of trust and masks I mentioned fall flat.

I'd rather Athena kill Metis over this. It'd be a similar concept with more justification behind it without completely dismissing the players emotional investment or cheapening the themes of the game. Or at least execute those things in a better way than this. In justice we trusted...

Sidenote: I was torn between ranking Means or the phantom here. While Phanty is definitely more interesting to talk about than the living staute, him sucking hurts more than Means due to his status as the main villain. It's easier to get away with being a shallow puddle when you weren't meant to swim much in it to begin with.

5. Florent L'belle

You'll notice I didn't put an emotional marker on this guy. That should tell you everything you need to know. At least the phantom makes me feel something, even if it is abject despair at how much of a gaping hole he leaves in the story. Florent just... I mean he's... His breakdown's creepy, that's kinda fun... I got nothing, he's just sort of there.

Lick a toad, you inferior Redd White. I'm going need to borrow Bobby's Jolt of Justice next time you show up.

At least I'd feel something that way.

#dual destinies analysis #dual destinies spoilers #ace attorney spoilers #aa5 spoilers #aa4 spoilers #marlon rimes #ted tonate #aristotle means #the phantom ace attorney #florent l'belle #lotta text in this one watch out! oooooo!

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cheesy-poofs · 1 year

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5, 19, 23 for the salty ask!

Thanks for the asks! 💕

5. Has fandom ever ruined a pairing for you?

Not that I can recall. I don't let fandom have power over me out of pure spite. I force myself take a step back or take a break if something works me up a lot. I've had times where I've irrationally resented ships because of their popularity and my overexposure to them, I'll admit (you can guess which ones). I don't feel that way about those ships anymore though; for me, frustration typically turns into apathy anyway. I've also come to realize pretty much all popular ships—yes, even my beloved Kyman—have shippers that might make all its shippers look bad. It's just apart of the fandom experience.

19. What is the one thing you hate most about your fandom?

Reminder that I haven't been in this fandom for a long time (only around a year now), so perhaps there's long-going issues I'm less aware of. For one, this fandom has some issues that definitely suck, but aren't exclusive to it. Like the beloathed (but now expected) shipping discourse and general harassment/hate.

I'm sure there's worse issues, but what I do loathe (and made a joke post about that got way more notes than I thought it would) is superiority complexes in this fandom. Not as in having your own preferences, but genuinely thinking you're better than others for them. I find it laughable. Yeah its fun to take this show a little seriously sometimes, I fucking love seeing people analyze its characters to death, but when you're constantly trying to argue about ships and characters? For South Park? The show that barely itself seriously and most people hate the fandom of anyway?

I try not to be hypocritical, I've had to remind myself more than once what show I'm watching. Its okay if any of you reading this struggle with it, I get it lol. Every once in a while something stupid irks me and I have to force myself to let it go. It's just how it is, I can't bring myself to spend much time worrying about what other people like. If something really does piss me off (and trust me I have things that do) I either go rant to my best friend, blacklist the fuck out of it, or both. I hope this has been coherent, I'm tired.

23. Unpopular character you love?

Ooh, good question! Honestly the first character that popped into mind is Kip Drordy...you know, the kid from "You Have 0 Friends" because I remember really liking him when I watched the episode (...and kind of relating to him because I was a huge loser kid in school who would honestly act the exact same way if Kyle befriended me on Facebook). I'm pretty sure there's barely any fan content of him despite that being one of the most popular episodes of the show, which is odd. I drew him with Karen a while back, inspired by a moment in "Pajama Day" during Cartman's dream where they were seen talking. Funnily enough, I thought about them being friends before I noticed that moment. I put the drawing under the cut because its from a while back and don't care for it now.

(Edit: It removes the keep reading so nevermind, everyone has to see my trashy drawing of these two)

#this took a while to answer because I went over what I wrote a million times. still not 100% happy but im tired and posting anyway 😭#asks

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sherwoodknights · 2 years

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HAPPY BARRICADE DAY!!!

I have absolutely 0 new content to share with my fellow revolutionaries to celebrate

So instead I offer you my rather long and rambling notes I made after watching the Les Mis tour in Manchester a couple of months ago

Quick warning; They're absolutely feral and incomprehensible

Pre:

• Cafe Rouge for a meal beforehand. Very French, definitely felt like I could organise a revolution in there. Set the mood very well

• Lime Bar for drinks. Less mood-setting, but I did get a martini so it was worth it

• MERCH! Got a tote bag and a keyring along with the programme because of course I did

Act 1:

• Look Down did not shy away from attacking people damn. Many dudes got punched multiple times each, special RIP to the guy who got whipped 30 seconds into the song

• Okay yeah no I see where the Earl Carpenter hype comes from. His Bishop is pretty dilf-y

• Dean just kept wandering aimlessly in Soliloquy, idk if it's intentional I just noticed it.

• KATIE!!! BELOVED

• Yeah the foreman is completely hateable, I despise him, get your hands off her, that's enough sir

• I Dreamed A Dream 🥺🥺🥺🥺 need I say more?

• Also Fantine got thrown onto the floor at least 5 times in the space of about 10 minutes like girl are you good do you need me to punch some bitches for you

• Lovely Ladies was fun all things considered

• Except for the foreman showing up and being Fantine's first customer (he looks her up and down and calls her "the virtuous Fantine" again, which made me want to punch him even more and then throw up)

• The Arrest was fine, there was just one small moment where Nic's timing was completely out and it just annoyed me lmao

• There was a really cute moment at the end of Who Am I where not-Valjean gets set free and there was a woman (presumably his wife) who just ran to him and he did the whole "pick up and spin her around" hug and it was adorable

• Confrontation my beloved, the chain choreography was wonderful (and kinky, I'm not complaining)

• Castle On A Cloud was adorable, nothing more to say

• RIP to the dude who got bullied for the entire first verse and chorus of Master Of The House it was very funny

• My gender is the multiple dandies in Master of the House also, there were several and I loved them all

• "BYE COURGETTE" *proceeds to make out with his wife on the stairs while laughing like a madman* ugh thenardier my beloathed funnyman <333

• The little meet-cute between Cosette and Marius was adorable, he bumps Into her and she just Falls On The Floor and stares up at him, it's so sweet

• GAVROCHE PLAYING POLICE OFFICER WITH THE BATON HE STOLE AKSJSIEKEKE BELOVED I CARE

• I love Eniolras' logic during Red and Black of "confiscate Grantaire's alcohol.... but give it back to him two seconds later so he can make a dick joke at Marius' expense"

• THE AMIS PLAYING PIGGY IN THE MIDDLE WITH GRANTAIRE AND HIS BOTTLE AKSNEKSNSNDKDNDND

• There was this moment of just. silence. after the Lamarque news came and everyone found a seat and took a second, it really hit me in the feels for some reason

• One Day More. Iconic. Wonderful. Funny little marching.

Act 2:

• The barricade reveal was fun, very dramatic I loved it

• CURSE LES MIS TUMBLR FOR INFORMING ME OF EARL'S BARRICADE CHARACTER, I KEPT WATCHING HIM

• On a related note, Earl made guarding Javert his Job And Business™️ and kept getting annoyed at anyone who went near him, especially Valjean, who looked like he got a death glare

• Eponine was glorious and wonderful and radiant and everything good in the world, her voice was incredible (kinda reminded me of Eva Noblezada) On My Own and Little Fall Of Rain were equal parts beautiful and heartbreaking

• Drink With Me was great with the added Enjoltaire bonus of E being the one to reach for R, and R resisting and moving away

• GAVROCHE AND GRANTAIRE RIGHTS OH MY GOD I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.

• After Drink With Me, Grantaire went to his corner to stew in his drunk loneliness and existential crisis, but Gavroche just ran over to him and gave him the most adorable "I don't care if you're twice my height, I'll hug your damn knees if I have to" hug and Grantaire was stroking his hair and being a protective bro, then they settled together for all of Bring Him Home 🥺🥺🥺

• Gav flipping off Javert, yes my feral child, get him, destroy him

• And to immediately destroy that image, Gav's death was absolutely tragic, as expected. He finished the little bit of Little People stood on a railing on the barricade and then gets shot, where he falls in Enjolras' arms. Grantaire realises what's happened and races to Enj, who just silently places the body in his arms. R just sort of carried him to the corner of the stage, kept trying to shake him awake and stuff, and fucking collapsed, he was silently grieving over Gav through half of the battle.

• THEY ALSO SPOTLIGHTED EVERY GUY AS THEY DIED. THERE WAS NO MISSING WHO WAS GONE, THERE WAS FULL FOCUS ON THEM THANKS TO THE LIGHTING.AND THEY WERE ALL GOING FOR IT ACTING-WISE, YALL WERE SHOUTING EACH OTHERS NAMES AND CRYING OUT, THEY WERE NOT PLAYING AROUND

• Enj climbs a railing similar to Gav then falls backwards behind the barricade when he's shot, Grantaire sees it and climbs up enough to be visible so they can shoot him. It was devastating.

• Turning was so haunting man. It was also kinda wholesome in that some of the women were clearly upper class while some definitely weren't, but they all comforted each other and left together

• Empty Chairs fucking DESTROYED ME HOLY SHIT! THEY ALL BLEW OUT THE CANDLES TOGETHER AND WALKED OFFSTAGE, BUT ENJOLRAS STAYED FOR A SECOND AND PUT HIS HAND TO HIS HEART BEFORE LEAVING UGH IT WAS THE MOMENT THAT PUSHED ME TO THE VERGE OF TEARS

• In order to distract me from this, I paid much more attention to the ensemble than I should have during the wedding because then I could pretend that yeah that's definitely just Grantaire with a ponytail dancing with Cosette, everyone's alive and well and doing just fine, nobody's dead (Applying the Hamilton logic of ponytail=new character is out of the question here boys, it's matter of my sanity being at stake, ponytail=same character they're all okay and the National Guard just has stormtrooper level aim)

• "This one's a queer, but what can you do?" Said one proceeds to do the most gloriously homosexual laugh, followed by The Gay Run™️ across stage, beautiful

• Earl's footman character looked like he needed a raise honestly, I don't think he's getting paid enough to deal with these idiots

• I had to resist the urge to cheer when Marius punched Thenardier. Eponine would be so proud of him <3

• The Bishop hugging Valjean when he goes to heaven, we love to see the dilf solidarity in this house

#barricade day #barricade day 2022 #les mis uk tour #les miserables #les amis de l'abc #les mis #jean valjean #javert #fantine les mis #cosette #marius pontmercy #cosette fauchelevent #eponine thenardier

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greenvillainredemption · 2 years

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Veggie you dislike the most?

Wasn't a question on the list persay but what would you rank as the top 5 Disney princess movies?

Hate hate hate cauliflower and celery. Absolute beloatheds.

Number one has to be Beauty and the Beast. Imo it has the strongest story, character development, animation, voice acting, pretty princess dresses. It’s all just perfect to me. If Encanto counts as a princess movie it’s up here too.

I love each movie for different reasons, so the rest of these are in no particular order.

Sleeping Beauty, for the art alone. It’s so visually distinct and just such a good aesthetic. Weak ass story but the visuals and dragon Maleficent make up for it. Also Fauna my beloved.

Snow White because she’s the cutest and I love her. Plus the forest scene and the queen transformation scene are extremely good spooky vibes.

Pocahontas the epitome of guilty pleasure movie. From a neutral view I don’t actually think it’s one of the best, even without the problematique aspects, but this is my list and I like it. It was a big fave as a kid with zero historical knowledge. But now it’s like... ugh it could’ve been real cool if it was an original story about fictional fantasy lands and explorers instead of trying to make a real life colonizer into a love interest to a real life native american girl. But yeah the music slaps, and I love the fictional Pocahontas as a character n have a crush on her to this day.

Cinderella 2. Need I say more.

#my words #ask tag #disney

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racingliners · 1 year

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F1 Re-Watch 2022: Round 11 - Austria

Yes I’m carrying this on even though we literally have the first race of 2023 tomorrow sadhuvh I am determined to finished this now that I’ve started (and I’m actually enjoying it despite the RBR domination and Ferrari clownery).

Anyway, I yet again remember nothing from this race other than Seb and his bee hotel, so I am once again going into a race blind so let’s just jump on in

ngl the Red Bull Ring is a very pretty track, I love me some forests

okay let’s see how painful the starting grid is

Seb P18 🥲

Lance P12 oh no team green why????

nvm MICK P9!!! and Lewis P8

ESTEBAN IN 6TH????

Oh Verstappen’s on pole. huh.

“Who is there to stop him?” “If Ferrari get their act together” lol

(wait... is this the race where Carlos’ car went on fire??? I feel like that happened)

ugh flares my beloathed. The smoke is literally blowing onto the track. no bloody thank you.

“What can Ferrari do?” Nothing Crofty this is 2022 Ferrari we’re talking about.

(Unrelated but I’ve had one 2023 programme of Alex Jacques comms and I already miss him, the things I endure for Ted crumbs)

[Start/Lap 1]: GEORGE????? That start though

OH SHIT Perez off into the gravel after making contact with George. Not that surprised bc that battle was SPICY

Seb with damage too WHYYYYYY 😭

[Lap 2]: asdfghjkl Ted confusing the red stripe on the RBR overalls for Perez’s tyres. Excellent sports journalism.

[Lap 3]: Oh boy. Mick racing Lewis. I weep.

[Lap 4]: What I like about the Red Bull Ring is that the lap is so short it keeps the field together a bit longer.

Perez v Russell replay. oof.

Braincells boys, braincells.

[Lap 5]: Mick got past Lewis 🥺

[Lap 6]: Crofty calling out Sainz’s track limit crimes on the first lap aefvuhu

[Lap 7]: Truly astounded at Haas in 6th and 7th. something something looking like rockstars

oh shit Charles is catching up to Verstappen actually??? 👀

Will the Ferrari pitwall hang onto their braincells for the whole race though?

[Lap 8]: Oh shit Charles is REALLY catching Verstappen, gap down to around half a second.

rip Perez got lapped already, another part of the track being so short

[Lap 9]: Meanwhile Russell has somehow dragged the W13 into fourth. madness.

[Lap 10]: CHARLES TRIES THE DIVEBOMB

Was unsuccessful but gold star for effort.

(5 sec pen for Russell causing violence)

[Lap 11]: oh my days an actual battle for the lead I have MISSED THIS

[Lap 12]: CHARLES

HE JUST SNUCK INTO TURN 4 AND GOT PAST HIM HELL YEAH!!!!

cut to happy Ferrari fans. an unfamiliar sight in 2022.

[Lap 13]: advuhu Charles now on two warnings for track limits, you muppet

Seb watch: He’s into P13!!!! 🥳🥳🥳

[Lap 14]: oh my days Esteban into third STOP THE COUNT

ooooh Lewis with a NICE pass on Mick round turns 5 and 6

and YOU get a warning for track limits and YOU get a warning for track limits.

[Lap 15]: and Lewis gets past Kev as well, into P4!!

I am really not used to Haas being so fast but get it lads!!!

[Lap 16]: Fernando P10, Seb P11. Insert Fernando’s quote from Abu Dhabi about how they always find a way to race each other 😭

[Lap 17]: SEB INTO THE POINTS, END THE RACE

yes I know it’s because he hasn’t stopped yet let me live in delusion

[Lap 18]: LANCE IN P5. STOP THE RACE!!!!

[Lap 20]: Seb sighting in the background of Yuki v Zhou v Fernando!!!

also yes, midfield spice!! excellent!!

[Lap 22]: “We are considering Plan E” the pain I felt hearing that. FERRARI STOP

[Lap 23]: noice pass from Esteban on Zhou!!

Midfield spice how I’ve missed you!!!

and Esteban gets past Yuki too...

...and Yuki tries to get him back.

while Zhou and Fernando scrap over P8

ACTUAL RACING!!! (beloved)

[Lap 24]: FIVE CARS INTO TURN 5 WHAT THE FUCK

AHHHHHHHHHH

LADS

I mean that was great but I WASN’T BREATHING

[Lap 25]: That wasn’t Bono on Lewis’ radio. That did not pass the vibe check.

[Lap 26]: MICK BACK INTO THE POINTSSSSSSS

oh my days Lewis P4 and Lance P5 *longest yeah boi ever*

oop Perez’s car gets retired because it’s so broken

and Charles pits. idk how I feel about Ferrari trying a one stop. I don’t trust it.

[Lap 28]: Ted manifesting a Safety Car. You don’t need to invite chaos Ted this is F1 it happens on the Ferrari pitwall every week.

[Lap 29]: oof Lewis’ slow stop means he comes out behind Esteban

It’s okay Merc mechanics we still love you.

[Lap 30]: Charles taking a second out of Verstappen’s lead. Inject it.

Lewis gets past Esteban clean as you like into turn 3.

[Lap 31]: Post-stops Seb and Lance are chilling in 14th and 15th, so long to the dizzing heights of the top ten, thanks AMR22 😭

oh this was a sprint race weekend that explains quali a little bit.

(please stop trying to make sprint races happen though, they’re not going to happen)

“You can’t get a two person tent in a 40 mile radius of Amsterdam for love nor money” Crofty 🤝 Seb: if you want to steal shit go to the Netherlands it’s empty

[Lap 33]: CHARLES RETAKES THE LEAD!!!!

that looked painfully easy

MICK INTO P6!!!

Seb and Lance being turtles aside I’m loving this race this is great!

[Lap 35]: and YOU get a penalty for track limits and YOU get a penalty for track limits

oh not Fernando wagging a finger at Yuki sdgheughuh he’s such an old man

[Lap 36]: Lewis P4, Esteban P5, Mick P6. I LOVE F1

Why are we grilling Otmar on Fernando’s strategy mid race???? I would not want to just broadcast my driver’s strategy on TV just like that.

I’d say take a shot every time someone gets done for track limits but you’d get alcohol poisoning so maybe do water instead.

(Braincells boys, braincells)

[Lap 39]: I was hoping Crofty wouldn’t mention those dark clouds bc they’re making me anxious.

Is it bad I’m still wondering how Ferrari are going to mess up the 1-2 they currently have? I’m fully expecting Verstappen to still win this.

[Lap 40]: SEB NOOOOOOOOO don’t spin into the gravel 😭

This is not the way I wanted a Seb sighting.

ughhhhhhh he was racing Gasly, Russell v Perez 2.0. RUDE PIERRE. RUDE.

Livery watch: Aston Martin still pretty though 💚

[Lap 42]: Norris v Magnussen 👀

Lewis the latest to join the track limit club.

if everyone gets a time penalty for track limits then does anyone have a penalty for track limits?

well at least Gasly got a pen for spinning out Seb

I too am Crofty being unable to keep up with how many drivers have been penalised for track limits or have a warning.

George v Lance, that was a fun three corner battle

Seriously, apart from the two bits of violence the racing has been GREAT thus far.

[Lap 46]: and as I type that Mick goes down the inside of Lance

and Lance get’s him back.

No Bono on Lewis’ team radio does not feel right at all I do not like it

[Lap 48]: Meanwhile both Haas cars get past Lance on the same straight, this race has been truly WILD so far

damn Charles really hasn’t won a race from outside pole??? that’s a wild stat.

[Lap 49]: Ferrari seemingly chuck the one stop straight in the bin. Charles pits for hards.

is this Clowneria Ferrari striking again??? I’m getting those vibes.

[Lap 51]: Lewis still in P4 we absolutely love to see it!!!

no Nicky DNF 😔

oh nvm Lewis is stopping again

OH he has a 30+ gap to Fernando we’re fine

“Incident Noted - Gasly, failing to observe penalty” OOP

[Lap 53]: Charles once again getting past Verstappen like it’s nothing.

Seb watch: he’s in plum last I hate it here 😭

[Lap 55]: I’m (sadly) still waiting to see how Ferrari mess this up. I just don’t trust them at this point.

(Though let’s be honest I haven’t really trusted Ferrari since 2019)

[Lap 57]: fdvheaihh Fernando gaining TWELVE positions during the race. El Plan intensifies.

Verstappen v Sainz you say??? 👀

OH SHIT maybe not

His car did go on fire at this race.

Ah I obviously did watch C4′s highlights of this race bc I do remember the car rolling down the hill whilst on fire. BIG YIKES. 0/10 would not recommend to a friend.

[Lap 58]: VSC for obvious reasons

Charles pits again????

ohhhhh it’s to cover cars behind stopping under the VSC, and to have grip at the restart. that makes sense actually.

(did Ferrari kidnap Bono??? that would explain a lot)

LEWIS IN P3!!!!!!! STOP THE COUNT!!!!!

[Lap 59]: Helmet watch: LEWIS RAINBOW HELMET KLAXON!!! 🌈

[Lap 60]: Prielli: We think everyone is going to do a one stop :) The grid: two and three stops galore because fuck you

[Lap 61]: ohhhhh no not Charles saying his throttle pedal feels off. Not double mechanical gremlins please I won’t cope.

“Everything is fine on the throttle pedal” IT BETTER BE XAVI 🔪

fuck this race really has had everything I’m knackered.

Seb still last. Stab me it would hurt less.

Lewis and George in P3 and P4, unbothered while everything implodes around them

[Lap 64]: ALBON IN THE POINTS!!! STOP THE RACE!!!

[Lap 65]: Charles throttle problems have not gone away, I swear to fucking god Ferrari STOP CLOWNING

oh boy Val and Alex fighting for P10, even more midfield spice

“So sometimes the throttle gets stuck” I’m sorry if my 17 year old deaf cat can still catch mice (true story, happened this afternoon) Ferrari should be able to build a working car.

Bahrain 2019 flashbacks.

[Lap 67]: Verstappen closing to about 3 seconds behind. see I knew Ferrari would bin it.

(Rule 1 of F1 - Don’t trust Ferrari)

[Lap 68]: Seb joins the track limit party, fan-fucking-tastic.

nooo Alex down into P12 😔

[Lap 69]: SEB’S NOT IN PLUM LAST 🥳 I will take P16 over P17 any day

oh for fucks sake not downshift problems for Charles too.

Ferrari you owe me so much money in emotional damages, I’m not even joking.

[Lap 70]: Meanwhile MICK IN P6!!!!!!!!!!

[Lap 71/Finish]: stress stress stress stressssssssss

gap down to 2.1 seconds arghhhhhhhh

Meanwhile Fernando into P10. EL PLAN.

CHARLES WINS!!!!!!

thank fuck I can breathe. that was NOT FUN.

LEWIS P3!!!!! LET’S👏 GET👏 IT!!!

Ferrari I still want emotional damage money

“I was scared, I was really scared” ME TOO BUDDY

AND MICK FINISHES P6 FUCK YES!!!!!

nvm Seb does finish plum last he got a 5 sec penalty for track limits 😭

Oh jeez. That race was A LOT. Like, so much, possible too much but considering how many races were dull all the way through or had dull patches I will take one race of pure insanity. We had SO MUCH midfield spice, it was excellent, an ACTUAL BATTLE FOR THE LEAD!!!!! and honestly??? It was a great race from start to finish. I genuinely would watch it again.

9 front wings out of 10. Next race - France!

#F1 Re watch #F1 2022 re watch #F1 Liveblog #Austria edition

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badass-at-fandoming · 3 years

Text

THE END IS NEVER NEVER IS THE END

The writer's decision to put Riam, Logan, and Noah in one room together was brilliant and hilarious. If you want to know how we got here, check out Part 5.

One Shenanigan I forgot last time was Logan handcuffed MC to him. He's like, "I'm tired of you getting pulled away, so put this on. They can't separate us now!" asdfghjkl;fsdana He gives MC's wrist a little kissy kiss under the cuff and [clutches chest]

Anyway, freshly cuddled and cuffed, MC and Logan travel to Riam's warehouse and make a racket so Riam and Noah will show up. The three LIs shit talk each other, but the roast fest in interrupted when Aria and the CIA kick down the doors! Oh no!

Aria shows up and spews some horseshit that I'm not going to repeat. Her words tear MC to pieces metaphorically, and her bullet literally rips MC's leg to pieces. Now, the narration says MC is shot in the calf, but with how freaked out everyone gets and how MC acts, he must have been shot in the thigh? Cause there's a "nicked the femoral artery" amount of damage.

In his infinite wisdom, Logan...blows up parts of the building to destabilize it more and yanks/princess-carries MC away. 😂 But the CIA are gaining on him, and MC starts getting into the fun, delirious part of blood loss. All the hurt, all the grief: it comes to the fore, and MC begs Logan to kill him. Throughout the game, Logan has threatened MC's life, and it's shimmered between affectionate (your life is mine; my life is yours) and serious (I'll get back at you for betraying me!). MC has already proven he can't kill Logan, so this is the story moment Logan proves he can't murder MC. Despite MC slowing him down, despite MC reminding him of all the reasons Logan should hate MC, Logan can't do it. We have a CG:

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss Logan Harris CG 3, In the dark of the night in a crumbling warehouse, Logan points his gun at the viewer and cries.]]

How am I supposed to emotionally recover from this!!!! Hahahaha. Since Logan prefers to wrap MC's wound in ripped shirt bits and leave lil smooches on MC's fingers, MC insists Logan flee and rescue him later.

So MC is with the CIA now! In their super secret recovery room. Aria visits him, and we have the First Confrontation in a Serious of Confrontations. Turns out Aria IS the mole, from the very beginning. SHE'S the one who's been slipping mafia members info, who killed the drug manufacturer; who poisoned the old boss. All of this is part of some deranged and nonsensical plan to put MC as a puppet ruler of the gang and "control" the local crime scene.

Counterpoint: you could just use your SEVEN YEARS of evidence to eliminate all organized crime.

ANYWAY, MC convinces Aria that "no, no, your plans make PERFECT sense and isn't it sad my sister died and you couldn't find the time to tell me for years." She puts him back in Operation Footless Bird to try to catch Riam, Logan, and Noah. Except!!! No one expects the secret chess!!! MC and Noah play Internet chess together and move their pieces to form a code and it's so clever and cute y'all.

MC chess-moves his way to "meet me at the docks," and the men pause their sassing long enough to go. A stranger informs them that MC will meet them on a boat, with the idea that they will all flee the country together. I know Cinamon Games is just using a generic dock background, but the escape boat is like...a tall ship according to the art 😂. Logan takes one look at it and says that if MC isn't on the boat, "I'm throwing every single f*cker in that f*cking boat to the f*cking sea." LOL (also yes, Cinamon Games will censor words like fuck and cock. I have no idea why. They have full frontal suicide, but we're not allowed to see the vowel of the fuck word).

Guess what: MC is not on the boat. He wants his beloved/beloatheds to flee to freedom! I think if MC had actually been on the boat, everyone would have run and we could have a polycule ending but no!! THAT DOES NOT FULFILL THE DRAMA QUOTA. You know what does? Noah yeeting himself into the ocean asdfghjkalsdkflkj

You read that right! Noah fucking. THROWS himself into the ocean to get back to MC that much faster. He hacks into the choker's signal (yes, MC still has a bomb on his neck; yes, I hate it) and meets MC in the gang's hotel. Which is good because Aria was burning off the pads of MC's fingers. #Yikes

For realsies tho!! IDK why Aria is so [pikachu face] when MC doesn't want to work with her. While the love interests were on a boat (yeah!), MC tried to act sus enough so Aria would follow him to the hotel. A distraction, yanno. You get a choice to visit one of the mens' rooms and receive a special item. I've played twice, so I know that Noah's has his old dog tags, from his trainee days aka the location of their meet-cute. Logan's room has a note next to a box and inside the box is...a wedding ring. 😭 MY BOYYYYYY.

Aria discovers MC and his ploy, which leads to burning fingies, which leads to Noah breaking an innocent window, smacking Aria, and racing out into the night with our hero. Obviously it is now time for Cuddles and Snuggles and Homoerotic Tending of Wounds. Noah takes MC to a roach motel to recover and wait for the others. If you're going for Noah's endings, you can chose to ask him to "help MC shower." 👀

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss Noah Young CG 3, Noah hugs MC from behind in the shower. Coy, he places a finger in MC's mouth, and MC licks it. If not for the laws of this land, MC and Noah would be naked. Right now Noah's wearing a white shirt and MC's wearing shorts. Despite being in the shower, haha.]]

It's truly sugartooth sweet, Noah's route. Everything I suspected him of before was actually Aria. 😡 There's a sense that MC wants to die with Logan, but he wants to live with Noah. I think Noah + Logan + MC is my ideal ending.

But that's what fix-it fic is for! Once morning comes, Riam and Logan knock down the door. Whether you choose to have sex with Noah or not, Logan will find MC and him cuddled on the bed together. This doesn't go over well, and you can fish for Charm and/or Heart points to defuse that tension. Riam gets real sensible real fast and has a plan: while they COULD run, it will be a life spent looking over their shoulders. Aria will expend untold resources to find them. To be truly free, they have to kill her. Specifically, MC should go out in the open and get close enough to Aria to kill her. While 3 corpses dressed as the LIs blow up. (stop playing with explosives, Riam!)

Noah protests that this plan puts MC in too much danger. Surprisingly, Logan also hates it: he likens it to asking a son to kill his mother. But MC agrees, because it's the best shot they have at a happy ending.

You get to chose who to set up the burnt corpse fake-outs with. If you choose Logan, MC holds Logan's hand and Logan gloats over it. "We're holding hands!! You see this kinky shit!! You all can go away because MC and I are together now." aldjfaffalfjlj LOGAN, MC's dick has been in your MOUTH. Hahaha. The set up goes well, and as MC and Logan admire their work, Logan comes up behind MC, hugs him, and tells him, "Don't kill her."

MC is ? and Logan explains that if it's a choice between MC's safety and sacrificing Logan, he will sacrifice himself 😭. MC mentions the wedding ring and Logan proposes and teases MC into a lovely amount of blushing from MC and me!!!!

Aria shows up to ruin my night specifically. Logan withdraws into the shadows. Aria and MC hash it out again and give me a tummy ache. MC shoots her, but neglects to go for the insurance shot, so Aria is of course still alive.

The three LIs sass each other in the nearby spooky forest. When it becomes clear that their mission failed, they hack into MC's choker signal. Somehow Aria stole the key for that stupid choker and only she can take it off. I guess MC thought Riam had the key this whole time? Otherwise, why didn't he ask Aria to take it off? What excuse could she give?

Here is what is the same: The good boyos ram a delivery truck through a CIA base. They find MC and Aria. In the firefight, whoever you have the most Heart points with gets shot. Aria gloats and complains that orchestrating a coup is difficult. She takes off MC's choker. (Finally!)

Here's what's different.

Bad Ending: You don't have sufficient Heart Points for anyone's ending. MC realizes that what he most wants: to go back. To how things were. Before the gangs. Before the heartache. He turns on Riam, Logan, and Noah and kills them. Aria welcomes him back into the CIA, and he's set up as a puppet boss of the gang. Aria's little pet. I've only read a description because my week has been shit enough.

Riam Endings: You have sufficient Heart Points for Riam's endings. MC remembers a nightmare he had. He was drowning, and the many, many dead of the novel pulled him deeper into the water. Then Riam's hand pulled him out into the sky. When MC woke up, Riam comforted him, and they had a shockingly good conversation about their similar pasts and wishes for the future.

Back in the present. MC shoots Aria, in the head this time. Our brave quartet runs while under heavy fire, and Logan gets fatally shot while protecting Riam. MC LOSES his shit about this, insisting they bring Logan with him, that he's all right. Basically a big, hysterical mess. Logan pacifies MC by saying he'll "catch up." Noah, Riam, and MC make it to the getaway car. Riam gets in the driver's seat, and Noah pushes MC into the passenger seat. MC begs Noah to get in and promptly loses any shit regained. Noah says he's going to "get Logan" and runs towards the incoming CIA.

Riam drives the car while MC screams for him to go back. They make it to the gang's hotel, and Riam orders the gang to...blow up the building. Really! Wtf, mate. THE DRAMA of MC kissing Riam while the building falls down around them tho.

If you have Riam's Heart Points to 100%, Riam and MC survive the explosion. They're still a bit prickly around each other. Riam's leg broke. MC went into a deep depression. Time, however, heals, whether we want it to or not. Riam re-establishes the gang, and MC and he slowly come out of hiding. Content in his house-husband role, MC figures out Riam's actual birthday and pretends to gift Riam the Ugliest Painting Ever asdfghjklk. But he made it himself, so Riam compliments it like "I like the colors. And I like...shapes." 😂 He takes down their fancy auction-bought painting to put up MC's on the wall, and MC is like noooOOOO please it was a joke please your real present is these sexy ribbons:

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss, Riam Zimmer CG 4, a naked Riam crouches with his hands tied by black ribbon. Equally naked, MC embraces him from behind. The pair nuzzle faces with great affection. Apologies for the shitty quality: I screenshot this CG from a video because I, uh, haven't actually played Riam's route lol]]

Noah's Endings: You have sufficient Heart Points for Noah's Endings. MC remembers this one time Noah snuck in to his and Riam's apartment. The narration implies it's to boink, but actually it's...to play chess! It's so sweet!! MC grumbles that he never beats Noah, but Noah's all supportive like, "aw, keep trying, babe ❤️"

Back in the present. MC shoots Aria, in the head this time. Our brave quartet runs while under heavy fire, and Riam gets fatally shot. MC begs Riam to stand up, for Logan to carry him, but Riam pushes him away and demands MC leave. Logan half-drags, half-carries MC to the getaway car. I imagine it's a bit like trying to carry a feral cat. 😬 Noah gets in the driver's side, and MC gets into the passenger seat. Logan cradles MC's face through the car window and says, "I gotta go, Alex. Be free." MC loses his shit, but Logan, the bastard, looks all cool while pulling a pin out the grenade with his tongue and running towards the impending CIA. 😖

Noah drives off with a hysterical MC. They have some breathing room, thanks to Logan's sacrifice. Not much though. Noah proposes a plan. The CIA will catch them, eventually. With Aria gone, maybe the next Director will have a brain in their head and realize Noah and MC were victims of her schemes. But to do that, they need to be listened to, talked with...which the CIA is not interested in now. So, obviously, we should fake our deaths! Noah pulls out a bottle of mandrake poison a la Romeo and Juliet. They use the same art for the love potion in Remarried Empress ahhHHHHHH. MC and he toast each other and drink their fill and fall asleep in a kiss. I'm not up on Korean culture, but that low-key might have been a wedding???

If you have Noah's Heart points up to 100%, Noah and MC survive. Noah's plan worked, though the mortician got quite a shock when two "corpses" woke up in the morgue, haha. Unlike his dad, Noah isn't a professional chemist, so his eyesight took a ding. Welcome to the megane club, champ. 😂😎

The rest of the ending is so nice, like relaxing in a hot bath. MC and Noah have retired from the CIA with hefty pensions, so they live in a cozy apartment together. The past's wounds are still fresh, but MC knows they will heal. He will mourn, but he will also live. Just looking at Noah, holding him, smelling his scent makes MC feel he's home. ❤️❤️❤️

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss Noah Young CG 4, MC half-sits on a window and playfully snatches Noah's glasses off his nose. Noah stands close, with a hand on MC's thigh, and looks up at MC with slow-burning adoration. Both of them wear unbuttoned shirts.]]

Logan's Endings: You have sufficient points for Logan's endings. MC remembers this one time he and Logan traveled abroad to settle a deal with an arms supplier. MC was still new to the whole gangland shabang, but the meeting was a success. When the show was over, MC's jitters all came out, and Logan blew off a celebratory dinner with the supplier to go sit by a lake with MC and eat chili dogs. Logan made the chili dogs himself, and they become MC's favorite food. 😭

Back in the present, MC shoots Aria, in the head this time. Our brave quartet runs while under heavy fire, and Riam gets fatally shot while protecting Logan. MC begs Riam to stand up, for Logan to carry him, but Riam pushes him away and demands MC leave. Logan half-drags, half-carries MC to the getaway car. Feral cat energy. 😾 Logan gets in the driver's side, and MC gets into the passenger seat. Noah says he will stay behind to give them more time and thanks MC for being with him, however briefly. Anything further is cut short as Noah gets shot in the head. 😭

Logan drives like a bat out of hell. MC has an internal meltdown, and Logan pets his hair until he comes back to reality. Unfortunately for them, reality is the CIA closing in. Logan concludes that the only way out of this is to fake their death and, uh, oooo, isn't there a convenient cliff ahead? MC is like "I was always ready to die with you," and takes Logan's hand. The car jumps.

If you have Logan's Heart points up to 100%, Logan and MC survive. They live on the run from the CIA, but the new administration is only going to spend so much resources on finding two nobodies. Logan's arm was hurt in the car crash, but they're okay. They have a house together with a garden.

...which Logan may burn down. 😂 Logan yells for help because he has managed to burn breakfast very, very badly, hahaha. MC rushes in and puts out the fire. Logan wails that nooooOOOO, he was trying to make breakfast because it's their anniversary. MC replies that he loves him and that's soooo sweet, babe, but please don't try to cook 😂. The pair plan an outing but before that can happen, Logan convinces MC to let him have MC for breakfast:

[[Image ID Kill Your Boss Logan Harris CG 4, MC perches on the breakfast table while a topless Logan brackets him in. Logan leans in for a kiss, and MC and he share a heated look of love.]]

And that's Kill Your Boss! Dude. So many bosses got murdered.

If the summaries weren't enough, I found a Let's Play of Logan's route, and here's a video of Noah's good ending and Riam's good ending. Overall, I had a lot of fun! The level of violence got to me at times, but the Antics and Shenanigans made me laugh so much. The plot and themes are expertly woven. I was surprised and in awe of how everything flowed together, no matter what choices the MC made. The characters are [fans self]. Despite the hefty word count of these posts, there's a lot of content I missed, especially for Riam. Even letting MC be the dominant for once couldn't tempt me! His shtick of 0 emotions so isn't my bag.

The time spent on each LI seems balanced to me. Everyone gets to have a little action, a little breakdown, and a little smooch. MC gets multiple chapters alone with each one. Noah is by far the easiest to woo. Logan may be the most difficult: even following the walkthrough, I only got him to 84% Heart points. I burned currency to buy his outfits and raise it to 100%. That's an inversion of the usual with visual novels. Usually, the default Love Interest is the easiest. Like, I barely have to pay attention to get Lars' ending in Royal Blood 2. I had to WORK to get Ian to piss off in The Tyrant's Bodyguard. IDK, I feel Kill Your Boss is on a higher level of difficulty than other VNs. This was my highest Charm:

Heh. 69% 😏

Like I said in this post, let me know if you'd like other summaries! Kinda leaning towards Royal Blood 2, with Andrew's route, but I'm not committed yet. 😂 Thanks for reading!

#cinamon games #maybe: interactive stories #kill your boss #route review #text post #lemon

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