Tumgik
#it's flat out 'no i don't want to hurt this person and if i do it's because i have to'
Am i the A-hole for trying to protect a women focused space?
I'm the mod from the super one sided retelling of the "Refusing to change OC's sexuality to bi/pan" situation. Shin (the person who wrote that post) know i don't use tumblr so of course he bring the drama here so that people would judge "Laura" and me without knowing the full truth. Thankfully, a dear friend of mine who followed this blog told me about this and was kind enough to allowed me to send this ask using her account.
First of all, it's pretty clear that Shin is lying about his identity. Shin said he is a trans man but he admitted that he don't want to transition beside wanting flat chest. Shin also said that he is south east asian but his display name and his OC's name are all japanese, which is a huge sign of white weeb fetishizing japanese culture. The fact that his english and understanding of slangs is way too good to be south east asian.
Secondly, Shin joining this server knowing that 90% of the members are yumejoshi, he should be grateful of the fact that we even allowed those yaoi characters invading what basically a space for women. I know we advertised the RP as a non-shipping focus death game story but you should have read the room and know what type of people this space is catering to and not bring your gay character in if you didn't want him to be shipped with women.
Thirdly, if Shin was uncomfortable then he should have made it clear from the start instead of letting "Laura"s character flirting with his, like having him respond rudely or out right rejecting her or something. Shin said he is having undiagnosed autism in his bio then he should have understand how it feel when people don't state what they mean clearly. His OC still being nice to "Laura"'s OC even if he didn't like the flirting, of course she would misunderstand that his OC developed romantic feeling for her OC.
Fourthly, Shin said before that he didn't count alternate timeline versions of a character from a visual novel he likes the same as the original timeline version because of their different life experiences then why can't he do the same to his OC? Why can't he just agree to let "Laura" make an alternate version of his character if in his logic they are completely different people? Hypocrite much?
And finally, "Laura" was very upset about this and it took her a while to move on, she could have hurt herself back then because of you. Also, we had to revised our server's rules and banned all the non-yumejoshies, which cut several RPs short.
So who is really the A-hole here?
615 notes · View notes
bibibbon · 2 days
Text
MHA CH 421 rambles
Ok so this was a chapter ok. Iam personally not a fan of what happend here but you do you.
I hated AFO's little monologue. introspection thingy and to be honest sukuna does it better. Look Iam critical of both jjk and MHA as they fail in their own aspects on certain things but dam I couldn't care less for AFO and his monologue I seriously couldn't. Yoichi as already dead and if AFO's goal was to be a supervillain from a comic and to reunite with yoichi then why not just idk get the doctor to do it for him or just die to reunite with AFO 🤷‍♀️. His whole thing about tragedy making people stronger or him not feeling anything didn't even hit well because his development sucks and him coming back feels repetitive anyway
Tumblr media
Sero getting to respond to the things about tragedy felt so underwhelming I didn't like it. Sero throughout the whole and entire series lacked any screentime and development for him to be getting a big moment that should be given to another character feels like a horrible move. We seriously don't know of anything that has affected sero aka hurt him directly in the manga (aka something just him) so it all feels underwhelming and disappointing. Unironically, I feel like sero should of been one of those characters who left the story or just stayed as a minor character because hori is trying to develop and give him importance way too late into the story.
Tumblr media
Where is inko?!?!?! So we see everyone heck we see the civilians, gran Torino, Kota and Eri all comment and hope for izuku to do something but inko his own mother isn't present. Now this probably means something bad is happening or will happen to inko but if nothing happens and she isn't present then dam classic neglectful inko strikes again ig or if they make it a gag that she fainted out of stress i will just hate it even more
Tumblr media
I hate that this is something out of the endgame and if hori was trying to be like gege by making everyone join it felt rubbish. Iam not a fan and I mean it I HATE the whole everyone joining in to fight AFO together type thing and I just do. To me it's Izuku's time to shine and people take down villains and do their jobs in other areas at this point everyone is doing more damage to AFO than Izuku who hasn't even landed a hit on izuku. Also why is it that character like Todorokis who have had their big moments here?!?!? It seems like this is a fight where hori is trying to make everyone have a moment before Izuku lands the final hit which doesn't sit right with me. Like there are characters here who have already had their moments like jirou, camie, yuuga, asui, mina and way more but they're here to ... Assist in the fight have another big moment and make AFO more of a potato character then a proper scary villain
Tumblr media
present mic is back which I love. One of the good things is that present mic is alive, it's good to have confirmation of that
Tumblr media
Even though I think erasers writing is heavily flawed at least someone is holding Izuku. At least izuku is getting something , some comfort out here at least someone is holding him but dam this seems like a disservice all of this seems like a disservice to izuku. Like I wonder do the civilians feel guilty does anyone feel sad or guilty for having this 16 year old child fight something way bigger than him in the name of peace and other peoples safety?
Tumblr media
I think the whole thing with Izuku getting that guy's shirt is rubbish and underwhelming. It just doesn't sit right with me, that guy's shirt would of probably been dirty as hell considering it's the only thing we have seen him wearing. Like @mikeellee told me it would of been more impactful if the shirt was given to izuku and that guy had a healing quirk or helped izuku more directly. Now I get that this is supposed to make the guy more likable and show that he ahs developed which we can see and dam hori can actually give some decent development when he wants to but it all falls flat and doesn't do much for me. Also I have seen someone say that izuku wearing this shirt and it covering his upper half is showing how he is losing his ability to be a hero and dam that breaks me.
Tumblr media
I can't with the Izuku running to the battlefield and the parallels kill me (we haven't really developed/moved on from chapter one considering the story just loops around itself). Izuku running towards danger quirkless thinking that it's his job because people who were supposed to help and protect him failed. Izuku now quirkless with only the tiny and fading embers of OFA thinning trying to defeat OFA with the damage of kudos quirk still effecting him. All of this to protect others to help them something he never got during the past. This fight will probably parallel all might but all of this happening and I feel nothing all of it falls flat and I feel bad for izuku that's it.
Tumblr media
It was a chapter and considering how I hated previous writing decisions I was also gonna hate on the developed/expanded writing decisions either way
37 notes · View notes
kindlingkeen · 1 day
Note
(i'm sorry if this doesn't make sense, it's late, but i just realized a lot of this recently and i needed to put it into words so i hope you don't mind)
i've been thinking recently and while i don't mind fics with lazarus pit madness (or lazarus pit side-effects that basically amount to uncontrollable rage or violent blackouts, etc) if they are written well and the madness is handled in an interesting way, i've recently taken to mostly avoiding them because — well first of all so many of them are about tim, which. sometimes i want to read a jason fic that's actually about jason. anyway,, — i've realized that a lot of the time the "lazarus pit madness" is used to excuse everything jason has done since he was dunked. it's the reason he kills now, it's the reason he cut off those heads, it's the reason he beat tim bloody in titan's tower, etc.
instead of letting jason be a character who has his own morals, different and not what is usually considered "acceptable" as they may be, instead of exploring how they influence how he does things as the red hood, or how his own morals, his unique code affects his relationships with the batfam, he's just sort of… flat? he's made into basically nothing but a walking wall of seething green that's easily triggered and makes his black out with rage and is to blame for every violent thing he does — he is given no responsibility for his actions. and i've found that a lot of these fics end with the pit madness either somehow being done away with or at least being dealt with and then jason is back with his family happily ever after completely exonerated because it's not his fault, he didn't make those decisions, the pit did
i just,,, what about a jason who is aware of his actions? what about a jason who has thought things through and decided what kind of person he was going to make himself into? what about a jason who looked his trainers in the eye and knew he was going to kill them, who makes a plan and follows through, who didn't have to cut off those heads but he had a statement to make and maybe cutting them off was awful and horrible no matter that he decided they deserved to die but he did it because it needed done? and he's fully aware of what he's doing, he is responsible for his actions and any consequences. and he's going to do whatever he's going to do anyway. i think he's a much more interesting character that way
You 🤝 Me. Let’s be best friends. We can start a fan club, the let-Jason-have-his-autonomy club. I’ll be treasurer (fair warning, I plan to blow our budget on Red Hood stickers).
In all seriousness, yes, this, exactly this. I read a ton of these fics when I first got into the fandom, and I still enjoy a good pit madness fic from time to time, but nowadays I tend to want so much more for Jason.
For whatever reason, I think there’s a lot of “fast” fanfiction (as in the idea of “fast fashion”) written about Jason. It leans hard into a popular trope, hits those hurt/comfort vibes with a wrecking ball, and usually ends up absolutely nerfing Jason.
Writing a Jason who’s resolute in his mission and his methods, a Jason who is balanced and believable, is hard. Writing that kind of Jason and getting him to authentically reconcile with the Bats without sacrificing his autonomy is miles past hard. Reading that kind of Jason, staring uncomfortable truths in the face, that can also be hard. It’s not for everyone, and that’s okay (*grumbles unhappily*).
Thanks so much for the ask, anon, and for sharing your thoughts with me. 💙💙💙
29 notes · View notes
worstloki · 1 year
Note
I'll give u a hundred if u let me in on the secret abt fans thinking thor and loki didn't act like siblings before ragnarok
well you see, siblings have got to be willing to harm each other a little, otherwise it doesn't count.
#idk man idk how anyone can claim that#ragnarok made them generic siblings#brodinsons are about loki wanting thor to get more time before he becomes king and prove he's arrogant without actually going to jotunheim#they're about thor not thinking that his behaviour hurts loki and accepting loki is king and not wanting to fight him even at the end#you can say thor and loki fight but you can also clearly say that they don't WANT to harm each other even if that's exactly what they want#they'll do it but they won't do it willingly yk#not even like. a little.#loki orchestrates the whole coronation going to jotunheim thing but doesn't intend thor to actually get a punishment or start a fight. like#thor's apathetic @ loki and shows no sympathy in TDW but he doesn't want his brother hurt and he doesn't want him dead#and vice versa???? like even when they hurt each other there's no ill intent or genuine malice there#Loki's bitter and all but he doesn't point out Thor's faults TO Thor ??? except when he's hurt and unstable himself??? ???#he criticizes Odin and Thor's behaviour a few times in TDW but not to THOR's face yk?#Loki gets the throne in TDW and lets Thor go on his way when he doesn't accept the throne like#there is no ''i want him dead'' or ''i want him in pain'' or ''wouldn't it be funny if i humiliated him''#besides when they're hurt and feel there's no other choice and even then it's more a case of ''i want to understand what's going on w/ u''#usually siblings are ready to hurt each other A BIT at least#like you can safely say Thor didn't expect Loki to get hurt on Jotunheim and Loki didn't expect he could actually kill Thor#it's not a case of Shuri getting T'Challa to punch the new suit just to mess with him or Nebula and Gamora's status quo of death fighting#it's flat out 'no i don't want to hurt this person and if i do it's because i have to'#my assumption from jokes and stuff is that people think that's unrealistic#instead of the sibling rivalry thing being used as a gag where Loki stabs Thor for fun and Thor is ready to electrocute his brother
33 notes · View notes
aftermathing · 11 months
Text
I'm like. actively being abused at home. What do I even do about that.
#://#Today she said I am disgusting and unapproachable and will never have friends or find love because I make everyone I meet uncomfortable#Because I don't shave my legs#When I told her I keep blacking out from my chronic pain she said 'that's a little dramatic'#When I told her I should probably go to the hospital for that she shushed me because she was trying to watch her fuckin. Fringe show#Always with the shushing. Every time I speak :((#She said I should go out & do something and quit being so lazy. So i said I would ride my bike but the tire is flat#She said 'why are you so useless' :((#When I was projectile vomiting for three days I told her I had a 104°F temperature and she said 'darn'#I asked if she wanted to watch Ponyo with me and she said 'oh my god I don't want to watch your stupid crap shit'#When I dropped a cup of gatorade and mopped it up (agony for chronic pain btw) she felt where it was still sticky and said#I'm so stupid and it's my fault we have ants (we do not have ants)#So I said 'yeah mommy I think my fine motor skills are getting worse I can't hold things or swallow very well'#She said 'have you tried paying attention??' :((((#I told her I had a sunburn and it hurt and she said 'youre so needy'#I got beat up in middle school and I was crying about it and she said it was all my fault because I was annoying#I was also sexually assaulted that same week but after the way she responded to that I was not going to tell her#One time when we were at the doctor and checked yes for suicidal thoughts she started screaming and crying#About how much we hate her and think she is a bad mother and how ungrateful we are#If I read this list to her she would say I was making it up and trying to make her look like a bad evil person#Because she is!!! She insults and belittles me so much I genuinely wish she would just beat my ass instead#I'm 20 years old why are you talking to me this way#I know it's all verbal abuse but. I'm so fucking miserable I want to die living here#Oh wait one time she strangled my little sibling because they complained about finding blood in their can of tuna
5 notes · View notes
raccooninapartyhat · 8 months
Text
There are two main kinds of reactions people have to seeing someone using a white cane walking towards them: fearful and aggressive.
The fearful are the ones who press themselves flat against walls as you pass by, the ones who see you coming and cross the street to not walk by you, the ones like the guy who walked into my path and then, upon seeing me, leapt two feet backwards shouting, "Oh shit!"
The fearful are an annoyance, but they're not usually dangerous. They don't seem to grasp that the path is generally wide enough for both of us, that my cane only takes up two more inches either side of me and isn't going to kill them. They're the ones that my friends remark on most, because once you realise what they're doing you can never stop noticing that people do this.
The aggressive, however, are a different story.
The aggressive are the ones who stare you down as you walk towards them like they're playing a game of chicken, the ones who wave and say hello and when you reply they use it as evidence you're not blind. They're the ones who try to hopscotch over your cane. They're the ones who will kick your cane and try to trip you up for fun. They're the ones that deliberately slow down, giggling as they look back at you, because they want you to walk into them and to hurt yourself. They're the ones who you'll walk by and, even though neither you nor your cane even brushes them, they'll get angry at you because don't you know you could hurt someone by walking around with that thing? Don't you know you should have someone with you at all times to make sure you don't hit someone?
There's a different kind of aggressive, too, and I don't know a single blind person who has not encountered this kind. This is the kind of aggressive who tries to "help" you, the kind who grabs your arm and drags you across roads without talking to you or asking. The kind who pull you into oncoming traffic and expect you to be grateful. The kind who pick up your cane to lead you. The kind who will get you hit by a car in the name of helpfulness. This kind does not realise or even care that it is terrifying to have an unseen person grab you and start dragging you away, who don't get that the cane is your contact with the world around you and they have stripped you of knowledge and safety by picking it up off the ground. This kind does not realise or care that it is still kidnapping, still assault, and they expect you to be grateful that they deigned to "help" you.
All three kinds don't see you as a person. The fearful see you as an obstacle, the aggressive see you as an idle amusement or a threat, and the helpful aggressive see you only as a way to feel good about themselves.
The second you hold a white cane you are unpersoned.
Do your local blind person a favour and cut that shit out.
11K notes · View notes
actual-changeling · 6 months
Text
we do not talk enough about the moment right before crowley puts his sunglasses back on. the "nothing lasts forever" is devastating and if you're like me your eyes were so full of tears you couldn't see the screen the first time you watched it (just like crowley, look at us all twinning in sadness!).
there is a shift that happens in his eyes and i think it is absolutely fascinating and heartbreaking at the same time.
we begin with crowley averting his gaze from aziraphale's face and staring off into the distance instead, and you can see his spirit break. that crowley just lost the one thing in the world he cannot live without and we can see it written across his face like a neon sign.
Tumblr media
then, as you'd expect, he gives into the need to cover up his pain, to try and make himself less vulnerable, and even before he lifts his glasses he looks down so aziraphale can no longer see his eyes.
now, the next part is what would not let me out of its grasp all day. we know it happens because of his demeanour afterwards and up until the kiss, but you can actually watch as crowley makes himself numb to the world.
i am intimately familiar with dissociation as a trauma and stress response, and while you can never fully control it, you do eventually find the switch in your mind that makes you snap back into the haze. crowley has had six thousand years to get really, really good at leaving reality behind when he needs and/or wants to.
that's exactly what he does.
Tumblr media
he still looks sad, and yet there's just something distinctly distant in his eyes, the shift from openly heartbroken to "i don't want to feel any of this let me leave".
glasses? on
emotions? off
hotel? trivago
i have stared at those four frames more than any person probably should and i don't know if it's the light, if i am going insane, or if there is a single tear sliding out of his right (our left) eye. i'm probably insane and the light is a bitch so if anyone has some high resolution shots or anything that could answer that question without a doubt PLEASE do add it.
by now you are probably ready to threaten me with a knife in a dark alley but before you do that or drive your car off a cliff, let me tell you the best part:
aziraphale notices.
they might be communicating on two different frequencies but aziraphale knows crowley. he knows and loves him, and, most importantly, over the last few years he has gotten used to seeing crowley without his glasses. aziraphale could probably write a book on the expressions in his eyes alone and watches that shift happen and is devastated.
look.
Tumblr media
he tries to make himself hope the same second, tries to convince himself crowley is putting on his glasses so they can leave together, but he knows.
aziraphale sees the light leave crowley's eyes, sees crowley leave, knowing that he is quite literally running away from him. you and me against the world, angel, but in that moment crowley firmly pushes him back to "the world" (or tries to, anyway).
the entire season we see crowley take off his glasses whenever he enters the bookshop to the point where he's running around without them on in broad daylight with jimbriel right there.
can you imagine how hurt and confused aziraphale must be?
because what crowley is telling him, if we really, really break it down, is that aziraphale is no longer a safe person for him. and repairing that trust is going to take time and work, no matter how much crowley loves him, how badly they love and need each other.
anyway to seal this off and really rub in the pain - how it started vs. how it ended. <3
Tumblr media
oh one last thing: now crowley no longer has a single person he can be himself around, no one that knows him, no one he trusts. no one in whose presence he can take his glasses off.
and outside of the bentley and his own flat, he no longer has a place to do so either. the bookshop was theirs. with aziraphale gone, is it really a safe place anymore? is it somewhere he can just let himself be knowing he will be looked after and protected?
easy answer: no.
alright, off i go. see y'all on the next angst post or in the tags.
3K notes · View notes
stillfruit · 1 year
Text
no one would love me if i was a worm
#this is a joke but also i 10000% mean this and i will die alone never having known love unlike everyone around me#it really gets more difficult to accept being alone when you get older because your aloneness is constantly contrasted w everyone else#having parterns or otherwise active social lives with very close friends while you just? barely exist as a person to others#i flat out cannot understand how people grow to be close friends let alone romantic parters like what do you need to do? how is everyone#just doing it? talking to people? opening up? being an important part of someone else's life? i don't get it#i have friends at uni i can freely talk to people there and everyone is very nice and i have closer friends i hang out with but like#if i just disappeared one day there wouldn't be that big of a change outside of maybe a small adjustment period after which everyone would#carry on as before because i'm not integral to anything#that sounds super childish but i don't mean that i'm sad that i'm not the main character in other ppls lives. just that i don't matter#and while that's of course understandable and i'm not looking to changing that it's also undeniably sad#and because i am the only person who can do something about that i'm just stuck like this i guess#i want to ask my closer friends how good am i at masking everything but 1 it would be weird and 2 i don't think they would be honest#not because they don't like me but because they are nice people#anyway lately as i'm getting older and meeting new people things are just getting exponentially more overwhelming and it physically hurts#i know i'm just suffering because i put myself up in a position to suffer but also literally what else would i do#if i have any time to stop and think about things i will actually have time to get even more mentally ill#i'm not looking to die right now i have things going on i'm doing my silly little degrees and spending time with my friends but like#it's not forever and i'm not holding out any great hopes for what comes after#i know i probably should go and talk to the student health services again but honestly i dont have the time or energy#for that kind of process and i know i'm a terrible patient in therapy so what is there even to gain from that#shit talking
0 notes
caparrucia · 1 year
Text
Full offense and pun fully intended, but I genuinely think the very existence of "dead dove, do not eat" was a fucking canary in the mines, and no one really paid attention.
Because the tag itself was created as a response to a fandom-wide tendency to disregard warnings and assume tagging was exaggerated. And then the same fucking idiots reading those tags describing things they found upsetting or disturbing or just not to their taste would STILL click into the stories and give the writer's grief about it.
And as a response writers began using the tag to signal "no, really, I MEAN the tags!"
But like.
If you really think about it, that's a solution to a different problem. The solution to "I know you tagged your story appropriately but I chose to disregard the tags and warnings by reading it anyway, even though I knew it would upset me, so now I'm upset and making it your problem" is frankly a block, a ban and wide-spread blacklisting. But fandom as a whole is fucking awful at handling bad faith, insidious arguments that appeal to community inclusion and weaponize the fact most people participating in fandom want to share the space with others, as opposed to hurting people.
So instead of upfront ridiculing this kind of maladaptive attempt to foster one's own emotional self-regulation onto random strangers on the internet, fandom compromised and came up with a redundant tag in a good faith attempt to address an imaginary nuance.
There is no nuance to this.
A writer's job is to tag their work correctly. It's not to tag it exhaustively. It's not even to tag it extensively. A writer's sole obligation, as far as AO3 and arguably fandom spaces are concerned, is to make damn sure that the tags they put on their story actually match whatever is going on in that story.
That's it.
That's all.
"But what if I don't want to read X?" Well, you don't read fic that's tagged X.
"But what if I read something that wasn't tagged X?" Well, that's very unfortunate for you, but if it is genuinely that upsetting, you have a responsibility to yourself to only browse things explicitly tagged to not include X.
"But that's not a lot of fic!" Hi, you must be new here, yes, welcome to fandom. Most of our spaces are built explicitly as a reaction to There's Not Enough Of The Thing I Want, both in canon and fandom.
"But there are things on the internet that I don't like!" Yeah, and they are also out there, offline. And, here's the thing, things existing even though we personally dislike or even hate or even flat out find offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable existing is the price we pay to secure our right to exist as individuals and creators, regardless of who finds US personally unpleasant, hateful or flat out offensive/gross/immoral/unspeakable.
"But what about [illegal thing]?!" So the thing itself is illegal, because the thing itself has been deemed harmful. But your goddamn cop-poisoned authoritarian little heart needs to learn that sometimes things are illegal that aren't harmful, and defaulting to "but illegal!" is a surefire way to end up on the wrong side of the fascism pop quiz. You're not a figure of authority and the more you demand to control and exercise authority by command, rather than leadership, the less impressive you seem. You know how you make actual, genuine change in a community? You center harm and argue in good faith to find accommodations and spread awareness of real, actual problems.
But let's play your game. Let's pretend we're all brainwashed cop-abiding little cogs that do not own a single working brain cell to exercise critical thinking with. 99% of the time, when you cry about any given thing "being illegal!!!" you're correct only so far as the THING itself being illegal. The act or object is illegal. Depiction of it is not. You know why, dipshit? Because if depiction of the thing were illegal, you wouldn't be able to talk about it. You wouldn't be able to educate about it. You wouldn't be able to reexamine and discuss and understand the thing, how and why and where it happens and how to prevent it. And yeah, depiction being legal opens the door for people to make depictions that are in bad taste or probably not appropriate. Sure. But that's the price we pay, creating tools to demystify some of the most horrific things in the world and support the people who've survived them. The net good of those tools existing outweighs the harm of people misusing them.
"You're defending the indefensible!" No, you're clumsily stumbling into a conversation that's been going on for centuries, with your elementary school understanding of morality and your bone-deep police state rot filtering your perception of reality, and insisting you figured it out and everyone else at the table is an idiot for not agreeing with you. Shut the fuck up, sit the fuck down and read a goddamn book.
8K notes · View notes
shivroygirls · 1 year
Text
can i just say something? at this party here there are maybe 40 of the most important people in america and you have just walked all around, all evening, telling them all that i'm gonna get fired. no, it was implied, lightly, as a little... god! part of a tactical kind of joke. will you explain to me, the joke? because i don't get the fucking joke. MY GOD, TOM! i don't get the joke, i don't get the joke. it was something that he said, that isn't true, that we needed to say. but you stood by his side, and he said it, and you were like "okay, well, that sounds good to me." fuck's sake, i'm not doing this right now. you know i'm in serious trouble, that was a play. you will be okay because you are a tough fucking bitch who will always survive because you do what you need, you will do what — are you even listening? i will be okay? — you will do whatever you need. yeah? really? yeah, you sure you're not projecting, because that is actually you. should we have a real conversation? with a scorpion? no. that was a friendly thing. that was a friendly thing. yeah. sure. real friendly. yeah, no, i'm a scorpion, you're a hyena, you're a... you're a street rat. actually, no, you're a fucking snake. "here's a dead snake to wear as a necktie, tom", "why aren't you laughing?" (pause) i wonder if we shouldn't clear the air. yeah? yeah. sure. i think you can be a very selfish person and i think you find it very hard to think about me — what the fuck? — and i think you shouldn't have even married me, actually. what the fuck? what the ACTUAL fuck? you proposed to me. you proposed at my lowest fucking ebb. my dad was dying, what was i supposed to say? perhaps "no"? i didn't want to hurt your feelings. thanks! thanks for that! yeah, you really kept me safe while you ran off to fuck the phone book. fuck off. you're hick — and then, and then.. — conservative hick — you hid it, you hid it because you were so scared of how fucking awful you are. you were only with me to get to power. you got it now, tom, you've got it! I'M WITH YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU! bullshit, you're fucking me for my DNA, you were fucking me for a fucking ladder because your whole family is striving and parochial. that's not... thats not a fair characterization. no? well, your mom loves me more than she loves you, because she's cracked. you want to... you want to actually clear the air? fine. you betrayed me. YOU WERE GOING TO SEE ME SENT TO FUCKING PRISON, SHIV! AND THEN YOU FOBBED ME OFF WITH THAT FUCKING UNDRINKABLE WINE AND YOU WON'T HAVE MY BABY BECAUSE YOU NEVER EVEN THOUGHT, HONESTLY, THAT YOUD BE WITH ME MORE THAN FOUR FUCKING YEARS, I DON'T THINK! YOU OFFERED TO GO TO JAIL! YOU OFFERED TO GO TO JAIL BECAUSE YOU'RE SERVILE! you're just... YOU'RE SERVILE! YOU ARE INCAPABLE OF THINKING ABOUT ANYBODY OTHER THAN YOURSELF BECAUSE YOUR SENSE OF WHO YOU ARE, SHIV, IS THAT FUCKING THIN! oh yeah you read that in a book, tom? YOU'RE TOO FUCKING TRANSPARENT TO FIND THAT IN A BOOK! you're pathetic, you're pathetic. youre a masochist and you can't even take it. i think you are incapable of love, and i think you are maybe not a good person to have children! well, that's not very nice to say, is it? i'm sorry. i'm sorry, but you... you... you have hurt me more than you can possibly imagine. and you, you took away the last six months i could've had with my dad. no. yes. no! yes. you sucked up to him and you cut me out! it's not my fault that you didn't get his approval. i have given you endless approval and it doesn't fill you up because you're broken. i don't like you. i don't... i don't even care about you. i don't care. have we cleared the air, huh? feel good now? yeah. yeah. fucking great. tip top. you don't deserve me, and you never did. and everything came out of that. so fucking flat.
5K notes · View notes
bouquetofalliums · 2 months
Text
wilbur soot's statement is the furthest it can be from an apology. its vague, baseless, lacks Any sort of accountability, and feels like some shit chatgpt made up. two pages, four paragraphs and... Not a single Im Sorry. and to think i expected any better of him and i REALLY DID. his response to his other mild controversies were genuine and decent at best. this just lacks Everything. i read the first two sentences and my eyes rolled to the back of my fuckin head
disregarding that the way he downplays his own abuse astounds me. because WE KNOW EVERYTHING. we've heard from the victim and there were Witnesses. you say you were snobbish, disrespectful and selfish, but aside from the biting thing; do you ever address that time you pinned her down to claim you were stronger than her although knowing shelby has gone through past sexual assault? how you weaponized her safe word? how you locked her up in your house for days? how you never cleaned up over yourself and made her do all the work? how you gaslit her and her friends and Humiliated her in front of them ????? no amount of therapy or change you've claimed to have gone through can excuse any of your vile behaviours ESPECIALLY when it comes WITHOUT an apology. you cry about how you've changed to us but you don't care at all! because it was all about fame and money to you, right? us and our words mean so little to you, right?
you could've taken more time to polish this and to come from a place of genuinity and none of us would have complained. rather you put out some flat disingenuous slop and expected us to eat it up. No! youve lost your devoted fanbase wilbur. if you didn't want your shitty actions to come out you shouldn't have been a shitty person in the first place.
whatever . i have more to say but i dont want to waste my words on him. im so so fucking disappointed in that man and i hope to never see his face on the internet ever again . to think i spent the last 3 years and more just blindly supporting and loving his music and content without thinking anything else of it .... i feel so sick . I feel so so sick
sending all the love and support to shelby, lexie, rhana, sophie, and to anyone and all who have been deeply hurt by his actions in any way whatsoever
855 notes · View notes
luveline · 1 year
Text
𝐢𝐭’𝐬 𝐚 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 | 𝐞𝐝𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐨𝐧
When Eddie asks you on a date, you don’t believe it. He probably meant as friends, right? Spoiler alert — Eddie wants to be more than friends, and he’s willing to prove it. [4k]
fluff, slight hurt/comfort, fem!reader, plus-sized!reader, reader feels undesirable, kissing, obligatory ‘don’t be cruel’ scene, eddie calls you pretty like ten times, requested here
𓆩❤︎𓆪
Eddie has one of those smiles that screams trouble. Every time he looks at you with that smile he might as well have "I'm gonna break your heart," written across his forehead in tandem. 
You sneak a glance at him across the atrium. Eddie’s paused bussing tables to talk to a patron, his customer service voice in play with a matching smile. It isn't the one you mean, but it's bad enough to make you flush red-hot. You cross your arms over the bar, regret it for its stickiness, and let your head rest against the crook of your elbow. 
You've been working together for a long time now, almost six months, and he's your favourite coworker hands down. He cleans up after himself, he brings snacks that you never accept (lest you look like the greedy chubby girl you worry everyone expects you to be), and he talks to you like a real person.
It's horrifying and it's not fair, but being fat means that sometimes guys don’t want to look at you. They don't want to be in the same room with you, and you can tell; they avert their eyes, or simply don't talk to you directly.
You've never had that feeling with Eddie. He meets your eyes, unflinching, and he sends you one of those pretty smiles and you think Fuck, because he should've been a movie star, he has the cheekbones for it, or a rockstar like that band he's always raving about. He'd have a slim LA girl on both arms, no doubt about it. 
He likely wouldn't waste his time with you. 
Not someone pretty as he is. Sometimes he'll lean over and expose the flat stretch of his stomach, his v-lines and the dark trail of hair peeking above his jeans, and you feel acutely miserable 'cause you know you'll never get to touch him. Workplace crushes suck. 
"Hey, are you okay?" a voice asks, a hand dropping against your shoulder. 
You pull yourself up quickly. Speak of the devil, Eddie stands beside you with his hair tied away from his face. He looks more entertained than concerned, his smile unfortunately genuine. 
"I'm fine," you say, stepping back. His hand falls away from your shoulder. "Sorry, just tired." 
Eddie leans into your space, squinting. You freeze up, but he's only checking the time on the clock behind you. "Gotta tough it out. Still an hour and a half 'til closing." 
Which means there's more than two hours of your shift left. Your face must show how unexciting that is —Eddie laughs, warm and quiet, and gives your hand a squeeze. 
"You'll live," he promises. "Are you busy tonight? Maybe we could go get pizza or something." 
"What, nobody else is available?" you ask. 
His head juts back a touch, put upon shock. "And why can't I ask you? I like you and I like pizza, that's a good combination. And even if you don't like me that much, you like pizza, right?" 
You know —you know, you do— that Eddie doesn't mean it as a slight. This isn't some thinly veiled insult on how you look. Why wouldn't you like pizza? Most people do, but his comment twists itself into an evil inky ball in your chest anyways, thick and hot as tar. 
You shake it off. 
"Who says I don't like you?" you ask, steering the conversation away from food altogether. 
His smile gets somehow better, which is to say worse. You're being punished for something, a childhood wrongdoing or a future crime, perhaps. Nothing else could warrant the mental torture that is being so close to him while he looks the way he does. 
"Good. Good, then we should get pizza. It's a date," he says, nodding. 
Morgan the shift manager calls for him to stop distracting you, though the Hideout is abandoned tonight, and there's nothing to distract you from. Eddie stands at full height, with a soldier's salute. "Yes, sir. No more lollygagging." He turns to you when you laugh, and you share a secret smile. 
He and Morgan disappear into the back of house. If you strain your ears, you can hear Eddie complaining about having to keep his hair in a bun, as it's totally against what he stands for, dude, it's stifling his self expression. 
"Count yourself lucky I don't make you wear a hair net, kid," Morgan says.
You turn back to your sticky bar, numb. It's a date? Did he mean, like, an actual date? A romantic date? 
Not a chance in hell. It's a colloquialism. Nothing more. 
Despite yourself, you stare into the silver reflection of a beer tap and try to liven up. You fix your hair, check your teeth, dig a lip balm out of your apron pocket and scratch the corners of your mouth just in case. The entire time you're heckling yourself about delusions. Eddie Munson doesn't like you. He's had a girl come around once or twice, and she'd been everything you're not: slender, confident. You'd wanted to dislike her, but she hadn't done anything wrong. There's no crime in being desirable. 
For the remainder of the night, you man the bar and serve the occasional patron. It's a Sunday night, so most stick to light beer or soft drinks. The live entertainment says goodnight and the Hideout empties like an opened floodgate. You clean the bar, Eddie buses the tables, and the kitchen staff turn on the radio and get to work cleaning. Soon, you can smell cigarette smoke and reheated mozzarella sticks. 
You wander into the kitchen to help. 
"Hi beautiful," Leon says, one of the cooks, "you want something to eat?" 
"No she does not!" Eddie says, helping the dishwasher Marcie with her last round of plates. Suds drip down to his rolled sleeves as he waves his hands around. "We're going to get pizza." 
"Yes!" Marcie says, delighted. 
"Where are we going?" Paul asks, another cook. 
"We," Eddie says, pointing at you and then himself, "are going to Marletto's. Yeah?" 
You startle when you realise he's asking you. "Oh, sure. Anywhere you want." 
His head bobs up and down, pleased. He goes back to his dishes. "Anywhere I want," he murmurs to Marcie, though he's saying it for everybody to hear, "hear that, Marc? I'm spoiled." 
You wipe down a few counters, label some leftover iceberg lettuce and put it back in the fridge. It's easy work, made better by the camaraderie of your coworkers, but you can't settle down. Your heart races at what's to come. "It's a date," is starting to feel less colloquial now Eddie's dissuading the other from joining you. That's how that works, right? He wants to be alone with you.
It might not mean anything. Maybe Eddie needs something from you he doesn't want the others to know about, like money. Maybe he wants girl advice, finally chasing that pretty girl who drops by sometimes. Or boy advice —there's a guy who comes around too, tall and blond and handsome. 
There's a logical solution. Any other girl would hear the word date and take it at face value, but you aren't them. You're you. You can't remember the last time somebody looked at you with desire in their eyes, if they ever have. High school was a shit show and work isn't exactly a hub for romance. Eddie joining the team here is the most excitement you've ever had in your life, for all his gentle squeezes and teasing elbows, his inside jokes and his tendency to burst into an air guitar solo at any given moment. He's a cheeseball, and you like him. It sucks. 
"Hi, are you ready?" he asks, coming out of nowhere. You're kneeling down near the lockers tying your shoelaces. 
It is a horrible position for him to see you in. You can't imagine what you look like, but you know it won't be pretty. You spring up with your shoelace untied still and smile weakly. "Yeah, I'm ready." 
"You need help with that?" he asks, eyes on your shoe. 
You burn with embarrassment. "I– no, I–" 
Eddie kneels down on the floor and reaches for your shoe. He ties it quickly in a double-knotted bunny-loop and pats the side of your ankle when he's done. When he looks up at you, you're in the middle of hoping a natural disaster will occur and put you out of your misery. 
He smiles at you from his position. Does he ever stop? 
"Cool," he says, standing up. He grabs his coat from his locker and doesn't bother closing it. "Let's go! I'm starving, man, Leon needs to mess up more often so I can steal the rejects." 
You follow him in a daze. Through the lockers and out of the kitchen, waving goodbye to the lingering closers and a grimacing Morgan. You aren't looking forward to seeing him again tomorrow. You're more than sure he'll have something to say about workplace fraternising and general dawdling. 
"You okay for us to take the van?" he asks. 
Eddie's given you rides home before, and what felt awkward before has lended itself to a familiarity. You nod your agreement and cross the small parking lot out back, your breath rising in the cold night air. 
Eddie pulls open the passenger door of his van with a strong-armed tug. 
"Been meaning to get the latch looked at. I'd rather it have trouble opening than trouble closing, though, so that's a plus." 
He waits for you to climb the short step and sit before he closes the door. 
“All limbs inside the ride?" he asks. 
You laugh. It comes out weird. You kind of sound like you're being held at gunpoint. 
Eddie gets in the van and makes small talk as he starts the engine and pulls her out of the lot. Your mind isn't there, exactly, or rather it's too close. You want to think about your answers but instead you're worrying about how you look while you say them. You're worried about the seat belt around your stomach, and the way you look from the side. Being around Eddie makes you more self-conscious than usual. 
Marletto's isn't the best pizza place in Hawkins but it's open until three AM. You and Eddie take the first empty booth you come across, and the agony of ordering in front of someone else begins. 
"Meat feast for me, obviously," he says, pulling off his jacket. 
The cracked vinyl seat beneath him crunches with his movement. You dedicate yourself to staying still. 
"I'll get a margarita," you say, glancing between him and the menu for his reaction.  
"Didn't take you for such a bore," he teases. "Drinks? Sides?" 
"Just water will be fine." 
"Are you sure? I'm paying. If you wanna take advantage of me, now's the time."
You shake your head, pushing your cold hands under your thighs. 
Eddie frowns. "If you're sure…" 
He gets up to track down the register. You sit there, wondering why you agreed to this, what possessed you, why you could ever think this was a good idea. You don't wanna eat in front of him, you don't know what to say, he's looking at you like everything's normal but this is so not normal, this is the opposite side of the spectrum. 
Eddie returns with your water and a coke, all smiles despite your clear nerves. 
He puts the drinks down and clambers into the seat with a leg folded underneath himself, his elbows halfway across the table. He looks you straight in the face. 
"That guy just looked at me like I was crazy. I'm hungry, sue me. Three orders of mozzarella sticks is a normal human thing to get, right?" 
"Three?" you ask. 
His hand reaches toward you. If your hand were there, he'd likely squeeze it roughly as he sometimes does, like a playful scolding. "I'm hungry," he repeats. "I didn't get any lunch on my lunch break. What's the point in that? Just sat down in the locker room thinking about it. It was actually worse than working." 
"You should've had Leon make you a burger. He's always offering." 
"Always offering you, maybe. The rest of us gotta fend for ourselves." 
"That's not true. He asks Marcie, too." 
"Yeah, well, Leon's a sucker for pretty girls." 
You look down at the table. 
"I got enough fries for both of us, I know you didn't want any sides but everyone wants fries. I won't be sharing the mozzarella sticks, so if you want some you better speak now." He raps the table with his knuckles. When you look up, his face softens. "Well, alright. Maybe I'll share them with you. I'm a sucker, too." 
"What's that mean?" 
"What?" 
"You know what," you say. 
Eddie crosses his arms across the table. His hands and arms are pale, the ink of his black tattoos stark. You could draw them without prompting, that's how often you've fallen into his trap. When he crosses his arms like this, his biceps bulge up a little bit, emphasising the pretty curves and ridges of his arms and the hints of greeny-blue veins hiding under his skin. He tilts his head toward his shoulder, his limp curls dragging against the table. 
"It means…" he says, holding your eyes, a gentle smile playing on his lips, "that you're pretty. You're so pretty, I'd do anything you asked me to." 
You flinch. You pull your numb hands from under your thighs and cover your stomach with your forearms, glaring at the table between you thoughtlessly. 
"That's cruel." 
"What?" 
"That's cruel, Eddie. You're being mean," you mutter.
"I–" Eddie stammers. "What? I'm just trying to tell you how I think about you– how I feel. I'm sorry if you don't wanna hear it, I'm not trying to be mean." 
Hurt creeps into the lines of your face, your eyebrows pulled down and the starts pulled up, your lips pursed. Heat bursts in your throat as a molten lump takes shape there. You don't trust yourself to speak, but you have to. 
"I thought you were my friend," you say quietly. 
"I want to be more than that." 
"You're making fun of me." 
"No." 
Eddie reaches across the table again. There's nothing for him to grab so he spreads his fingers and presses his palm flat. He ducks his head to meet your gaze. His eyes are ridiculously big, the black of his pupils blown and leaching into his dark irises until they're almost indistinguishable in the fuzzy lighting of the restaurant. 
"Come on," he says quietly, "when have I ever done that to you? I mess around, but I wouldn't say shit like that unless I meant it." His fingers lift off of the table. "I mean it. I think you're beautiful." His voice takes on a raw quality. 
You bite the tip of your tongue, fully frowning now. "I don't believe you," you say. 
"Why not?" he asks, frowning back. 
"Because I'm– I'm– I'm fat." You hate yourself for saying it out loud. 
People hate that word. Usually, if you admit to it, there's a rushed response. No, you're not. Pretty friends talk you down, loved ones wrap an arm around your shoulder and harp about puppy fat or big bones. 
Eddie doesn't do either. He sits back in his seat and smiles hesitantly. 
"Why's that a bad thing?" he asks. He shakes his head at himself. "I mean– I'm sorry, I should've said you aren't, you aren't–" 
"No, I am," you say. 
"You're so pretty," he says again, in a rush. "I don't care what size you are, I really don't. I just think you're beautiful and I wanted to ask you on a real date but I saw you and I couldn't wait anymore." He wraps his hand around the neck of his coke bottles and pulls it towards his chest. "Shit, I've made a huge fucking mess of it." 
You lean forward. Your body doesn't know what to do, the whiplash of hurt smothered by his enthusiastic, sincere compliments.
Why's that a bad thing? means more than anything else he said to you. 
"You really think I'm pretty?" you ask timidly. 
"Drop dead," he says. Hope flickers behind his eyes. "Morgan pulled me aside on my second week, you know that? Said if I didn't stop staring at you he'd put me in the back for the week." 
"He did put you in the back," you say, confused. 
"Exactly." 
Oh. You raise your head properly. Eddie's watching you, just you, obviously waiting for you to speak. The hope on his face is clear as day now, his lips parted, the tiniest peek of his tongue on display. 
"You promise you aren't messing with me?" you ask finally. 
"I promise." He holds his hand out, palm up. "I swear." 
Your heart a hummingbird, you take your hand from your waist and put it carefully in his. His fingers curl around yours like a prince, the tip of his thumb rubbing over your knuckles slowly, half an inch at a time. You exhale out of your nose as goosebumps race up your arm. 
He looks like he has more to say, but the pizza and all his sides arrive. You spring apart like teenagers, blood rushing in your ears. The server unloads his tray.
"Alright guys," he says, looking down at you both with a knowing smile. "Anything else I can get you while I'm here?" 
Eddie sneaks a look at you that holds way too much meaning. "No, I think we're alright." 
There's a tiny, awkward silence. You busy yourself with unfolding a napkin over your lap, not sure what to say to bridge the gap. 
Eddie takes the plunge. 
He slides a basket of mozzarella sticks at you. "Pretty girl privileges," he says.
You feel insecure eating in front of him, but the sheer ferocity of his compliments discourages any shame. He thinks you're pretty. He held your hand like it was made of glass and he got put in Hideout jail for staring. 
"I think you're handsome, too," you say. 
Eddie almost chokes on a handful of fries. "Shit," he says, swallowing roughly, hand thumping at his chest. "Thank god for that. I mean, of course you do. My devilish good looks are hard to resist." 
He's not wrong. 
Getting put on kitchen duty isn't half as bad as Morgan seems to think it is. Eddie kind of likes it, the noise, the chaos, the heat. Plus, he can steal fries hot and fresh out of the basket. He's only burned himself once. 
"What're you in for?" Leon asks him.
"Staring." 
"You're a freak, Munson, you know that?" 
Eddie shrugs. "If your girlfriend looked like mine, you'd stare too." 
"Uh-huh." Leon grabs up a spatula to flip a burger, pink meat down and brown side up. Fat sizzles dangerously. Neither man flinches. "She ain't going nowhere." 
"You don't know that. Some rockstar might blaze through here and snap her up. Who would I be to stop her? She should be a trophy wife, she's a stunner." 
"Christ," Marcie says from across the room. 
"How the fuck can you hear us?" Eddie asks. Over the sound of the overhead spray and the sizzle of the burners, Marcie must have superpowers or something. 
"Uh, 'cause you're fucking yelling," she says. 
Eddie looks to Leon for some defence, but Leon agrees. "You are super loud." 
"You would be too–"
"If I had a girlfriend as pretty as yours," Leon says, audibly grouchy. "I know." 
"Don't be jealous that I got there first." 
"How is this fair? You get in trouble and I'm the one punished." 
Eddie blows a big breath out of the corner of his mouth, one of his shorter curls dancing away from his warm face. Ridiculous. They're all awful, and jealous, and nobody wants him to be happy. "Losers," he mumbles. 
He's kidding, mostly. He knows that everyone is actually very happy for the both of you. How could they not be? Eddie's happier than ever and you've turned to mush. It's his favourite thing in the world. 
He thought you were pretty before. These days, you're gold dust incarnate. You see him and smile like you've been waiting for him, no more nervousness (which, he found out, was down to a raging crush on him) (he walked on air for days), no more shying away from his touch. Eddie puts a hand on your shoulder and you don't tense; you melt. Butter in the sun. 
It's glorious. 
And sure, Eddie ends up in the brig a lot. He 'hovers' apparently. So what? He'll say it again, if any of these guys were in his shoes, they'd fall victim to the same compulsion. 
He waits for an opportunity to arise, four dinner tickets and a dishwasher disaster, and sneaks away as silently as he can manage, creeping out of the kitchen and to the bar. You're busy pouring a beer and don't notice him until the customer's left and he's wrapping an arm around your waist. 
"Eddie," you scold lightly, leaning forward to accommodate his weight against your back, "come on. You might actually lose your job." 
"They can't fire me. I'm the best bus boy ever." 
You turn your face to look at him. Eddie wants to put you on TV, you look that sweet. 
"No, you're awful, you," —Eddie interrupts you, leaning down for a quick chaste kiss— "distract me, and you," —he steals a second— "don't actually bus tables when you should," you finish, disjointed. 
He brings his hand to your soft cheek, stroking a badly behaved baby hair back into place. You go lax like he's some kind of quick fix drug, and your eyes contain a tenderness that makes his chest ache. He covers his heart with his hand. 
"You're awful," you murmur. 
He takes your face into both hands slowly. One cups your cheek, and the other slides behind your ear. He pulls your face forward and down toward his chin, his lips by your ear. You smell amazing. His eyes close on instinct.
"A little. It's not my fault. You're just–" 
"So pretty?" you ask. "Yeah, you've told me." 
"I have, have I? Have to let me tell you again." He kisses the skin before your ear, more a press of his lips than anything. "You're beautiful," he mouths. 
You shiver, but ultimately end up planting your hands against his chest and ushering him away from you. 
"Stop it. I mean it! We're in public, at work, and you're gonna mess me up." 
"I want to mess you up," he says easily. 
"I know you do." 
Eddie sighs, agonised, but heeds your warning. "Alright," he says, squeezing your shoulder in goodbye. You smile and squeeze his elbow in return. It's your new thing, silent conversation in fond touches. 
He's a couple of feet away when the urge to turn back is too much. He jogs back to your side, gets his hand behind your neck, and kisses you with enough pressure that your lips part underneath his in shock. He adores the side of your neck with his thumb one sweeping stroke at a time, his nose digging sliding against yours as he inches in further, and further. The dizzy pleasure of your lips can't be understated. Eddie fights back a kiss-ruining smile with all he's worth. 
"Sorry," he says, pulling back. Your lips shine and you blink, dazed. "Sorry," he says again, leaning in to kiss them dry. 
You laugh quietly, a breath against his cheek, and he's a goner, dropping pecks all over your pretty face until you're giggling and sinking into his arms. 
"I really am sorry." He punctuates with a kiss under your jaw. 
"No," you say breathlessly. Your hand twines loosely in his hair. "You're not." 
No, he isn't. He's never felt less sorry for anything in his life. 
𓆩❤︎𓆪
thank you so much for reading! I hope you enjoyed! If you did, please consider reblogging, it helps more than you know!! <3 
5K notes · View notes
fangirl-dot-com · 1 month
Text
🖤Prologue - My Reputation's Never Been Worse
Ok, so I was in the mood to create something dealing with the news about Logan's car being traded for Alex. So, I thought, why not give Reputations a prologue. Now, this does not happen in 2024. This is set around the 2023 Brazil Grand Prix. Everything in this story is fake. I'm sorry I had to make some of the drivers mean - in no way do I think that they act like this. Yes, they could be nicer to Logan but because I don't know them personally, I have no real thoughts about what they do in their own lives.
All I know is that Logan deserves all the love and my heart hurts for him.
TAG LIST IS CLOSED
Saturday, November 4, 2023 
“You want to do what?” 
James sighed as he hunched over his desk. Logan was in disbelief over the question that he was just asked. Alex sat to his right, chewing on his finger nails. 
“It’s just for one race Logan. It’s no big deal.” 
Logan’s brows pinched in annoyance. “No big deal? Two races ago, we scored our first double points. I have raced clean, I’ve shown you what I can do.” 
“That right now doesn’t matter Logan,” James pushed. “What matters is the team. And we need to keep pushing to get points.” 
“Then let me race. Let me prove to you that I can do it.” 
Alex coughed, but no one paid attention to him. The Thai’s eyes were pointed at the floor. His silence was deafening. Logan leaned back in his seat. 
“Are you asking me or telling me?” 
There wasn’t an answer from James, which gave Logan everything he needed to know. How dare they come to a circuit without an extra chassis. How dare they ask Logan to give up his car that he worked so hard to get in the first place. It was ridiculous. And even if Alex managed to score points, it wouldn’t really matter. There were only a few races left. 
Logan finally turned to his teammate. “What do you think about this?” 
Alex only replied, “I would do what was best for the team.” 
A scoff escaped the blonde’s lips.  
“So if I had crashed out, and they asked you to give your car to me, what would you say?” 
“It wouldn’t matter because they’d never ask me to do that. I’d still drive.” 
Logan’s jaw wanted to fall. Did Alex really just say that? The man who had been so confident in Logan. The one who encouraged him after every fault. The person who was supposed to be his teammate. 
Logan could only collapse against the back of the chair. In frustration, he threw his hands up. 
“Fine. Whatever it take for the team right?” he bit. 
“Thank you Logan.” 
However, the American was out the door before he could even hear James. He needed some air. As he walked around the paddock, he saw lots of people but thankfully (or sadly) they didn’t pay attention to him. After walking for a bit, he knew where he was automatically going to. 
The back of the Mercedes garage. 
George, bless his heart, had comforted him once after a particular bad DNF and told him that if he ever needed a place to just sit, he was always welcome there. The tall Briton was always nice to the American. Way nicer than anyone had really treated him. 
He sat on the wet-ish grass and pulled out his phone. Time to look like he was actually doing something. Maybe the weather in Madrid was nice, or maybe it was raining back home? The weather app was always his go to. 
It only took a matter of moments for the post to go live. His eyes followed the mass amount of comments that poured in. And most of them were not lovely. He wanted to cry, but he knew better. 
Footsteps made him aware that someone was coming. He quickly stood up and rounded a corner, putting his back flat against the wall. 
It was Alex, George, Lando, and Oscar. 
“Great,” he whispered when he realized that there was no way to escape without them seeing. Oh well, eavesdropping was one of his specialties. 
“He was not happy,” he heard Alex say. “I don’t blame him.” 
Lando scoffed, or well, he thought it was Lando. 
“This wouldn’t have happened if he was a better driver.” 
Yep, that was Lando. 
“Come on, don’t say that.” 
Thank you Oscar, Logan wanted to say. Thank you for standing up for me. 
“Mate, you were just saying yesterday about how he really isn’t fit for F1. You said that he should have stuck with Indy Car or something.” 
Ouch.
Logan wanted to throw up. 
“Shit, I was really mean to him in there. I should have said something.” That was Alex again. 
Logan could practically hear Lando roll his eyes. For some reason, George has stayed eerily quiet. 
“Alex, it’s his own fault. I’m just saying everything that everyone is thinking. I’m the only one who is brave enough to say it. Logan Sergeant has no business being in Formula 1.” 
Oscar stuttered out, “That’s enough Lando.” 
“Right sorry, forgot you two were close.” 
Come on Oscar. 
“Not that close. He exaggerates a bit. To be honest, I just felt bad for him. He kind of stuck to me and I just let him.” 
Oh.
Alex sighed. “He wanted to prove something so much. But there’s really no need.” 
“No need?” Logan whispered to himself. 
“James isn’t extending his contract. Williams is going with whoever wins this year’s Formula 2 championship.” 
There was silence for a bit. Logan took the time to reign in his breaths that were quickly getting faster and faster. He did not need to have a panic attack here and now. 
“We have to go, Andrea is texting me.” 
“I’ll go with. My engineers have to look over Logan’s car to change some things.” 
He heard footsteps start to walk away. The lone Williams driver let out a deep sigh and sank to the ground. His head was automatically in his hands as he finally let his tears shed. What he didn’t see was a 6-foot Briton walking his way. 
The blonde gasped when he felt a food nudge his. His head shot up and was faced with George. 
“Oh hey. Didn’t see you coming.” 
“I know you were listening.” 
Red flushed Logan’s face as the idea of being caught. 
“It’s not eavesdropping if everyone talks so loudly.” 
George sighed. “I’m not mad Logan. I’m worried for you.” 
A scoff escaped from Logan. 
“You’d be the first.” 
George felt his heart drop at the sentence. 
“I try and try, and no matter what I do, it’s never good enough.” 
“Mate, you can’t get anywhere in a Williams. Did you even see my rookie year? It was bloody awful.” 
Logan looked back down. “But you’re now in Mercedes. You won the Formula 2 championship. I wasn’t even runner up or third place. Williams is all I have, er, well, had I guess.” 
“I’m truly sorry Logan.” 
“Sure.” 
George started to walk away, knowing that trying to convince the American that he was good enough was a lost cause. Logan waited until the Briton left before standing up to make his way back to the garage. 
He could feel the eyes on him now as he made the journey back to Williams. His eyes caught George standing with Lewis, Max, and Charles. They looked sad as they watched him walk. 
Whatever, Logan did want or need their pity. 
The American kept on walking, only stopping to ask for a car to take him back to his hotel. Man, did he wish Benny were here. It would make everything so much better. His phone had been blowing up with so many notifications. Multiple messages from his friends back home, along with his parents, had been nothing less than supportive. 
However, one message caught his eye as he was going through the long list. He was surprised, but there was a warm, fuzzy feeling at the sight of your name. He knew that you were also having a hard time adjusting to everything. Except for the fact that you had won a race for Arrow a few weeks prior. Hell, he was even at your celebration party. But he remembered the looks on your team’s faces as you celebrated. 
One good word would be jealousy. 
And it wasn’t just your team: it was everyone. 
He sent you a quick text saying that he’d call you when he got back to his room. A fast “I’ll be waiting” brought the warm feelings back.
 He quickly walked through the hotel doors and into the elevator. It was going to be so nice when he could change into his sweatpants and t-shirt.
Logan mulled over the entire thing as he showered. 
He could have stayed home in Florida. He wasn’t needed here anyway. He could be in his childhood room, in his own comfy bed instead of the stuffy hotel room that he knew was smaller than the one that Alex got. He had seen the Thai’s pictures from Instagram and their rooms did not look the same. 
He quickly glanced in the mirror, just to see if his hair looked fine. He was thinking of growing it out, but hesitated to. He didn’t want to be made fun of even more than he already was. With a jump into the bed, he was ready. 
He sent you a quick text, only to be met with the FaceTime screen ready. He rolled his eyes, you had always been so impatient to talk to people. When he pressed the green button, he was met with a big smile and an oh so familiar and safe face. 
“Hi Logan.” 
How he missed your voice. You were always so soft spoken, but could yell at people if you needed to. He had been on the wrong side of your yell one too many times. But, he could listen to you for hours if he could. 
“Hello? Earth to Logan?” 
He quickly shook his head. 
“Hi Y/n,” he murmured, laying his head on his bicep as he just looked into the camera. You had a sad smile as you looked at the blonde. 
You could see his eyebags and his pale completion through the small screen. His red eyes signified that he probably cried when he took his shower (you knew because his hair was still soaked). 
You cleared your voice. “How are you holding up?” 
Logan’s shoulders only raised before dropping back down. 
“I’ve been better.” 
“Of course you have.” 
“Overheard that I’m not going to be resigned for next year.” 
A gasp echoed through the room before you sighed. Your hand ran through your hair. When you and Logan were little, people always mistook you for twins or very close siblings. That always annoyed you because you claimed that Logan was your boyfriend, not your brother. The moms and dads would just laugh. 
Looking back, you always wished you cherished those moments more than you had. The “relationship” only lasted for three days or until you saw Logan give Jessica his extra fruit roll up instead of you. After that, you claimed that you could only be his best friend since he didn’t love you as much as you loved him. You were over it as soon as you gave Michael your extra fruit roll up. 
You looked down at your fingers in your lap and bit your lip. 
“What are you thinking about?” 
You sighed again. “If it helps, I’m not getting resigned either.” 
Logan’s eyes widened as he scoffed. 
“That’s ridiculous. You have given them 1 out of their 2 wins this season.” 
“And Logan, you scored points as the first American in like 30 years. Nothing in motorsports is ever fair.” 
Logan leaned back, but kept his face visible. 
“Remember when we were kids? And we always said that we would make it to our dreams together?” 
A quiet hum sounded from his phone. 
“Have we made it yet?” 
Silence was his answer. 
“I don’t think we have.” 
“What do you mean by that?” 
“Logan, is driving in a Williams really your dream?” 
The male thought for a moment. Did he accomplish his dream of getting and making it to Formula 1? To the outside world, yes, yes he did. He drove for an F1 team. He ‘made it’ even if it wasn’t the best. But is it really making it if you finished 21st in a 22 driver line up? 
No, that was not making it. That was barely getting by. 
“I guess my dream was just to show everyone that I could do it. That I’d be good at it. But, now I haven’t done that.” 
“Then why have you given up?” 
“Because everyone wants me to. No one has ever liked me for me.” 
“I do.” 
Logan inhaled sharply. He finally turned his head to see you looking right at him through the screen. He felt a tear run down his face. 
When had that gotten there? 
“Logan, listen to me.” 
A hum from him made you laugh. You guessed that’s what you were going to get out of him. 
“You have the talent, Williams saw that. They just couldn’t give you a car to maximize your potential. And who cares if no one likes you. You don’t have to make them like you, but at the same time you do. You can’t be green-eyed lady whisperer Charles Leclerc or World Champion Max Verstappen.” 
He rolled his eyes. “Wow, thanks Y/n.” 
Your giggles filled the air. “That’s not what I meant and you know it.” 
“Yeah, yeah, please continue about Charles’s green eyes.” 
“Dude I could write a whole biography on his eyes alone. But I don’t want to. I’d rather write a whole novel about yours.” 
What was that supposed to mean? 
“Anyway, what I’m trying to say Logan, is that you have to believe in yourself and show them that they need to like you because you are you. Say it with me please? Like you’re talking to a hater. ‘You must like me for me’.” 
Logan whispered back, trying to believe his words. 
“You must like me for me.” 
He shot up from the bed as soon as he said the words. 
“Isn’t that a Taylor Swift lyric?” 
His eyes narrowed at you through the phone. You only smirked back at him. 
“Quite possibly. Now, you are going to go to bed, sleep so well, and then keep smiling. Show them that they haven’t destroyed your spirit just yet.” 
Logan put his head on a pillow. 
“Oh, so they are going to destroy my spirit at some point.” 
“Yep!,” you popped the ‘p,’ “but not right now. That can come later.” 
He smiled dopily at you. 
“You’re the best you know? I know that I say that Oscar is my best friend, but it’s actually you.” 
A whine-like noise came from your throat. 
“You’re my best friend too. I’ll see you in a couple of months ok? Still have to beat Dalton at football this summer.” 
“You say that every year!” 
“Ok and?” 
“Goodnight Y/n.” 
“Night Logan. Sweet dreams.” 
You hung up the phone, leaving Logan alone in his little hotel apartment. He thought about what you had said. What’s the point in trying to make them believe in him anyway. They were going to throw him away like trash soon. 
But you were also right. He didn’t need to prove anything to anyone. He just needed to show them what he could do, and they could feel bad about it later. 
Logan set his alarms for the morning and got under the covers. 
He’d show them. 
His reputation has never been worse, so what’s a bit of fun until the end? 
logansargeant has posted
Tumblr media
logansargeant if I didn't have a day job, I'd spend every moment listening to you, come visit me soon - your best friend
liked by georgerussell63, williamsracing, racer.y/n, and 493,206 others
logiebear oooooo girl in the pictures - have something to tell us mr. American 🤨
lolo2024 what they did to him this weekend was unfair
sargeant2 this was my first Grand Prix and I came from Spain just to watch him! I'm so sad that now I won't get to... :(
logansargeant hey! sorry about that - let me know what you're wearing and I'll try to find you, thank you for the support 💙
sargeant2 OH MY GOSH
racer.y/n I'll see you soon ok! sorry, my day job is also taking up all my time 🧡 *liked by logansargeant*
indyxf1 HELLO Y/N L/N??
log4_ever who is she?
indyxf1 so she like grew up grew up with Logan and she currently races for McLaren Arrow (their IndyCar entry) - she's won half of their races (1/2)
sarg4president they don't deserve you Logan!
loscar_812 I thought Oscar was your best friend hmmmm??
logan&y/n uhhhh haven't you seen that Oscar has been drifting since he's gotten closer with Lando??
loscar_812 oh. yeah. :(
billsracing and I thought williams was different - not them creeping in the likes 🙄
TAG LIST: @fionaschicken @myxticmoon @cherry-piee @blueberry64857959 @glitterquadricorn @lizzypiastri @disneyprincemuke @sam-is-lost @spilled-coffee-cup @ilove-tswizzle @the-untamed-soul @allenajade-ite @starssfall @torchbearerkyle @judespoision @halfdeadsage @juniper-july19 @severewobblerlightdragon @thatgirlmj @gods-menace @ineedafictionalman @namgification @dark-night-sky-99 @samantha-chicago @2pagenumb @treehouse-mouse @fangirl125reader @megatrilss1885 @kagatinkita @itsjustkhaos @nikfigueiredo @awekbachira @vellicora
599 notes · View notes
sunflower-lilac42 · 3 months
Text
✧ 𝟔𝟎𝟑 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 || luke hughes ♔
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
summary: exam season is the worst season ever for y/n and the only person who can calm her down is 603 miles away from her
warnings: finals, essays, stress, crying, long-distance
publish date: 02/10/24
notes: i think i'm entering a new luke obsession phase because that's all i wanted to write yesterday and today. oh right! based off of this request -> idea! there is a point of me saying 603 miles a million times in this, (it's like four times) it's literally the name of the fic... so if you're annoyed then oh well, don't read it (apologies for mean emma today, i'm tired). add yourself to the taglist ➺ taglist!
nhl masterlist | main masterlist
Tumblr media
She expected this to happen, the pounding in her head, the 20 tabs open on her computer, the dozens of resource articles and research strewn about in her room, the five packets of review guides sitting in a stack on her desk, the half drank cup of coffee, and the tears springing in her eyes. The white noise coming from her earbuds was starting to bother her causing her to rip them out of her ears and throw them somewhere where she probably wouldn’t be able to find them again.
She could hear voices in the living room, just outside her closed bedroom door. They were laughing about something, what it was she had no idea. Her three roommates all had presentations tomorrow and that was it, no more studying, no more writing, they were done. She, however, still had three papers to write and two exams to take. She had regretted her decision to take this many classes this semester but she was preparing herself for her future.
She had gone to stand up, feeling dizzy immediately as her feet planted flat on the floor. She held a hand to the wall, bracing herself from toppling over. She blinked a few times, trying to clear the blurry sight of tears, dehydration, and lack of nutrition. She knew people would be worried about her if they were to see her like this, her hair matted and pulled into a bun as best as she could, and mascara dried on her face that highlighted the dark circles and bags under her eyes. She was wearing Luke’s sweatshirt, the Devils logo plastered over it in the center, mocking her, reminding her that her boyfriend was 603 miles away from her.
At the thought, she allowed herself to tear up more, letting tear after tear fall. There wasn’t much she could do, he was in the middle of a game right now. When she realized he had a game, she turned it on and watched with a soft smile whenever he would show up on the TV. Despite knowing the fact that he would not answer his phone, she called him, hoping to just hear his voice through his voicemail. 
When his voice reached her ears, she could feel some of the tension release from her body. However, the feeling was short-lived as the beep from the end of his voicemail was heard. She didn’t leave a message, she just hung up and watched the remainder of the second period. When the horn blarred in the arena and through the tv speakers, she shut off the screen and returned to work, making her head hurt more. 
She didn’t notice the multiple attempts Luke had made to call her, her phone having died 20 minutes prior when she was writing her essay. Her headphones laid atop of her earbuds, trying to create a total noise blocker from her apartment’s noises. She had been ripping off post-it notes after post-it notes, scrambling to write down as many ideas as her brain could process. 
Meanwhile, Luke had been minorly, no majorly, freaking out. She would never call him if he was at a game, not even if it was super important. He could feel himself start to sweat again as he rushed to put his suit jacket on, wiggling his feet into his shoes. He had gone home by himself, not feeling the need to celebrate when his girl could be suffocating 603 miles away from him. 
Ever since they’ve known each other, Luke has known about y/n’s tendencies to throw herself into her school work. He remembers the first time he saw her during exam season. It was the end of their freshman fall term, they had been dating for four months at the time. They had just gotten back from their games in Ohio, he was exhausted from the trip and their 6-1 loss following their win the previous day. All he had wanted to do was go over to her dorm and lay in bed with her. 
✧༺✎༻∞
He knocked on the door, waiting for an answer but nothing came. He felt saddened and knocked again. He received the same answer, none. He turned around and slid down the wood door, hitting the ground with a thud. He put his hands on his head as he waited, kicking his bag to the side. It was only then he heard the footsteps come rushing down the hallway and looked up to see her. She had her backpack that looked as if it weighed 10 pounds, she was clutching five books in her arms and a coffee cup rested on top of them. She had been mumbling when she noticed him and her eyes lit up, “Hi!”
“Hi pretty girl, whatcha doing?”
“Studying.”
He looked at the way her eyes were hidden by the circles underneath them and frowned. He reached out to grab the books from her grasp and she gratefully accepted the offer, going straight to dig the keys out of her bag, “How were the games? Did you guys win?”
He felt heartbroken and confused, she always watched his games when they went away. She would always be the one to point out his goal or an assist that he got, sometimes she even pointed out if Dylan, Mackie, Ethan, or even Owen got a goal. He watched as she pushed the door open, removing her hand from her side to run it through her hair, “You didn’t watch?”
She turned to him, dropping her bag on the ground and reaching out for her books, “No, I was studying. Sorry, Lu.”
Studying? At that time? He did nothing but let her take the books, watching as she started to clean up her dorm. It was only then that he had noticed the state her dorm was in. There were empty boxes scattering the floor, paper plates and bowls on any surface possible, and some of her clothes were mixed in with her roommate’s, it was a mess, to say the least. He made no effort to say anything about it, though. 
She cleaned as much as she could in a matter of five minutes, looking at him with a small smile on her face, “I’m sorry I didn’t watch. I was going to watch the highlights when I got back tonight.”
“Back from?”
“Library. I think I’m starting to become a regular for everyone who works there.”
The thought of her being a regular was somewhat concerned, “How often have you been going?”
His voice was a mixture of stern and worried, his eyes somewhat squinted in a glare. She looked as if she had committed a crime at the tone of his voice, “Every day… from the time class was over until they closed.”
His eyes widened, “Jesus y/n.”
“I’m sorry, I just wanted to study. I need to do well.”
“I understand that but you can’t work yourself to the brink of death.” He grabbed the coffee out of her hand and emptied it into the sink, getting rid of the cup afterward.
She whined at the motion, watching him in horror as if he just hit a bird with his car. He walked back over to her and placed his hands on her shoulders, “Tomorrow you are not going to touch a single book, I won’t even let you touch your computer.”
“But-”
“Nuh-uh, nope. No computer, no books, no papers, no anything school-related. We are going to stay in your bed and watch movies all day and eat properly.”
“I eat properly!” She exclaimed in offense.
He gave her a look that said all the different, “Sure. Now I can only hope you still have some of my clothes here somewhere because I do not want to talk to my dorm right now.”
She pointed in embarrassment to one of her draws, “In there.”
He kissed her forehead and grabbed the clothes before heading for the bathroom, “I’ll be back and I better not see you do any work when I get back.”
She nodded but as soon as he left she ran to her backpack and grabbed her computer. She rushed to finish the last two paragraphs of her essay before he got back but luck was not on her side as she was halfway through her last paragraph and the doorknob turned. She had been so focused on writing that she didn’t care that he entered, “Just let me finish my last paragraph.”
He sighed, dropping his clothes into her laundry basket. He walked back to her bed and looked at her, “Last paragraph?”
“Mhm.” She nodded and scooted over so Luke could sit next to her, “Fine. I don’t want you to lose your train of thought.”
She beamed up at him and kissed his cheek before returning to her work.
✧༺✎༻∞
Ever since then, he had been careful with how much he left her alone in exam season. He always called on road trips, always went to the library with her to make sure she didn’t overwork herself, always made sure she was eating properly and always made sure that she was okay. But now being 603 miles it was hard to do that for her. 
Luke was packing a bag as fast as he could, looking at his laptop for the earliest flight out of there which wasn’t until early the next morning, leaving at 7 and not arriving until 9. Then he would have to wait to get a car and do a 30-minute drive to Ann Arbor. He groaned at the time and went to throw something, at that point he could drive there and be there before getting a plane but he was in no state to drive. 
He continued to try and call her for 30 minutes, on the brink of giving up at that point. Her phone was still dead and she had yet to realize it. She had music playing through her earbuds attached to her computer, typing about something that she considered stupid and unnecessary. She only took breaks to take a sip of coffee or to groan and throw her head back in exhaustion and frustration. 
Luke threw his phone on the bed, running his hands down his face, falling asleep not even five minutes later. Y/n was the same way, she closed her laptop as she finished her last sentence, finally allowing herself to take a break. She got up to go make a burrito in the kitchen, waving to her friends who were also still awake at the time. 
She went to turn her phone on and that was when she realized the lack of battery it had. She shrugged it off and put it down on her nightstand before walking back out to eat and finish watching the movie with her roommates.
✧༺✎༻∞
She didn’t go to bed until almost three in the morning despite finishing the movie four hours ago. Once they finished, she looked at the piles of paper and study guides she still had to do and sighed. Deciding that her first class wasn’t until noon, she could easily get done with one or two study guides or an essay in three. 
She curled up on her bed when she was done and wrapped the blankets around her tightly. When she woke up and went to look at her phone and saw a tweet from Amanda from an hour ago, “Luke is not at morning practice due to personal reasons. Should expect him back for Saturday’s game in Columbus.”
She immediately woke up at the fact, looking back at her other notifications. There must’ve been at least a dozen missed calls from Luke and 15 text messages. She could only think about the worst, if he had gotten hurt but just didn’t want to tell someone, if he had been so drunk that he couldn’t think straight, if he had a panic attack last night. Her thoughts raced but halted when there was a knock on the door.
She went out to the living room, still clad in her sweats from the previous night. Her friends must’ve either already left or were still sleeping. She walked to the door, peeking through the peephole and gasping. She all but ripped the door open, “Lukey?”
He smiled when he saw her, immediately feeling better. Her eyes were still the same from the first time he had experienced her like this and he knew there would probably be a coffee pot brewing in the next few minutes, but he was here now and that was a wave of relief, “What are you doing here?”
“You weren’t answering my calls and I know you were studying last night so you probably wouldn’t have answered them anyway. But when I saw you called during the game I got worried because you never call. And I just wanted to make sure you were okay and that you weren’t overworking yourself but i can tell that you are.”
She frowned at his words but also felt butterflies in her stomach at the thought of him flying out just because he wanted to ensure she was okay. She stepped aside to let him in and then led him to her bedroom. It was cleaner than what he had witnessed in the past years.
“You can’t just fly out every time you think I’m overworking myself, Luke.”
“I know but I wasn’t thinking. I was worried, really worried.” He held her hand, playing with her fingers as a form of comfort, “How long were you up to last night?”
She hesitated before responding, “3…”
He only sighed and tugged her closer to the bed so they could lay down, “Luke I have class in two hours.”
“I know but just for a little bit, and then I’ll take you to class.”
“You still know you’re way around campus?”
“Did I ever know my way around campus?”
She shook her head and laughed, “No.”
He smiled at her laugh, “You do realize I’m only going to be allowing you to rest while I’m here right?”
“But I have one more essay to finish.”
He glared at her, “Fine, but after that, you are going to be right here, in my arms, and not thinking about school at all.”
“Deal.”He kissed her before allowing her to get up and get ready for class. They both walked on campus to her class with the same thought, grateful that Luke had come to see her. Even with being 603 miles away from each other, they would do anything to be there for one another.
Tumblr media
𝑻𝑨𝑮𝑳𝑰𝑺𝑻 ˏˋ°•*⁀➷
if your name is crossed out it means i couldn't tag you
@jasminecaskry85 | @lilyevanswhore | @shoesjr13 | @Exonct07 | @dancerbailey3 | @if-my-heart-bleeds | @prettyinsatiable | @hearts-4-luke | @sarawinson78 | @pucks-goals-penalties | @elegieseulogise | @crazycat-ladys-blog | @privatemythss | @5secondsofonedirection222 | @piavettel33 | @bohemianrapshawty | @mikayladavis | @klkennedy | @hockeyboysarehot | @whoopwhoop123 | @dasiysthings | @rleigh-47 | @ivy-34 | @itsnotgray | @daisysnhl | @love4ldr | @love4lando | @dyslecticdutchman | @thescooby-gang | @biscuit-muffin05 | @toasttt11 | @fratboyharrysgf0201 | @http-aatp | @biggiesmallspots | @kei943 | @Studio_reader | @ru-kru | @zebraszegras | @sleepybesson | @lausdigitaldiary | @eleutherafairy | @hockeygirl101 | @fearfam69691 | @skoolnites | @bunting58 | @francesfarhadi
Tumblr media
561 notes · View notes
bby-deerling · 2 months
Text
sigma grindset (law x reader)
shachi and penguin notice that law likes you. they give him the worst advice imaginable.
wc: 2.6k (this was supposed to be a joke i don't know how it ended up this long) masterlist
cw: fluff, zoomer speak, crack taken seriously, confessions, miscommunication, friends to lovers, shachi and penguin are idiots, law is a dork
tagging: @willowbelle @eelnoise @risenwrites @ragethebunny, @mirillua @sanjisprincesswifey @atanukileaf
Tumblr media
“See ya’ later, Captain!” you say playfully as you slip out of Law’s office, both of you hanging in the doorway for a moment, your gazes remaining held together by a magnetic pull.
“Tch.  See ya’.” he murmurs with a smirk, giving your shoulder a squeeze before you part, bouncing down the hallway with a spring in your step.  Along the way you pass Shachi and Penguin, who take note of your bright smile and burning cheeks as you make a beeline for your room.  Most of the crew had noticed the budding feelings that have cropped up between you and Law, but Shachi and Penguin had both resolved to take a more active role in ensuring things went well for their beloved captain.
And so, they invite themselves into Law’s office, prepared to present their plan to him.
“You like her.  You like her so much.” Shachi says with a snort as he strolls into Law’s office with Penguin in tow.
Law rolls his eyes and tries to will away the blush consuming his cheeks. “I fail to see how that’s any of your business.” he says dryly, focusing his attention onto a set of maps on his desk; he’s studied them thoroughly and discussed potential navigational paths with Bepo a hundred times over already, but he’d rather bore himself to death than face the smug, mischievous grins of his friends.
“As your crewmembers, it’s not, but as your best friends in the whole wide world, we have a duty to help you!” Penguin exclaims as Shachi nods along with him in agreement.
“No need.  Things are going well.  And again—it’s none of your business.” Law replies dismissively, crossing his arms and spinning in his swivel chair to face the wall.  It was immature, but so were they for trying to meddle in his personal business, no matter how genuine their intentions are.
“But, Captain, right now you’re a beta male.  You’re coming on too strong; you’re all over her, so she feels no urgency to take things further anytime soon—you’re the safe option.  You need to ignore her to make her want you enough to chase you.” Shachi says, ignoring Law’s attempts at avoidance as he makes his way towards his captain’s desk.
“You need to be a sigma male, Captain, and we made you a schedule to help you achieve that!” Penguin announces, triumphantly shoving a piece of paper into his captain’s hands.  Law rolls his eyes as he takes it and begins scanning his eyes over the document.
“‘6 AM: looksmaxxing’… what does this even mean?” Law asks, narrowing his eyes at the paper.
“He’s hopeless, Shachi, he doesn’t even know how to mew!” Penguin whispers, shaking his head disapprovingly.
Law lets out a deep sigh.  “I’ll bite.  What’s mewing.” he says, patience already wearing thin.
“You stick your tongue flat on the roof of your mouth to make sure your jawline is defined!  And then you’ll look better for the chicks!  See, it all comes together—” Penguin exclaims, only to be unceremoniously cut off.
“Doesn’t your tongue usually do that?” Law asks, perturbed, only to be met with uncomfortable silence as Shachi and Penguin realize that maybe they’re the abnormal ones.
“Just keep reading it.” Shachi grumbles, tapping the paper to gain Law’s attention.
Law continues reading the ‘schedule’ incredulously.  “‘9 AM, edge for four hours (discipline), 1 PM cold shower, 1:05 PM, edge for two hours (punishment).’ …You two cannot be serious.  Do you seriously think I have nothing better to do all day?”
Shachi snickers in response. “I know it hurts to have two hours of your usual edging time cut from your schedule, Captain, but—”
“I don’t do it that much!” Law shouts, face flushed red with embarrassment.
“And you’re not gonna have to do it at all, once you follow your Sigma Grindset Schedule and get her eating out of the palm of your hand!” Shachi exclaims, a wild toothy grin on his face.
“Trust us, Law, we’ve got enough experience to know what girls like!” Penguin says, giving him a thumbs up of reassurance.  Finally cracking and bending to the whims of his friends, Law lets out a sigh before speaking.
“I’m not going to be waking up at three in the morning or…” Law squints at the paper, “consuming small pebbles to aid with digestion, but if you two sincerely think that being more aloof with her will help ensure things go well, then I’m willing to try it for a while.”  His friends both fist pump in unison and whisper an excited Yes! under their breaths, causing Law to roll his eyes.  “But—” he warns, his tone turning deathly serious, “—if this doesn’t work out, I will personally make sure neither of you feel the warmth of the sun on your skin for three months, minimum.”
“Aw, c’mon Law, don’t be so serious!  We’re just trying to help you because we love you!” Shachi teases, ignoring the threat of being stuck inside the claustrophobic walls of the Polar Tang for the foreseeable future should things not go according to plan.
“Yeah!  We love you, Law!” Penguin adds, invading his personal space to give him a hug.
“Knock it off!” Law sputters out, turning beet red as Shachi joins the fun and wraps his arms around him too.
“Not ‘til you say you love us back!” they exclaim, causing Law to growl in annoyance and shambles them out of his office.
Unbeknownst to Law, you were receiving unsolicited advice of your own back in your room.
“Hey—you’re spacing out again!” Ikkaku says in between transitions of yoga poses; when you glance over at her, she’s doing something completely different than you, leaving you wondering how long you had been zoned out for.
“Sorry… Drifted off for a second.” you reply sheepishly, digging your nails into your forearm.
“Thinking about Law again?” she asks, sitting down on her yoga mat with a grin.
“Maybe…” you mumble as you mirror her actions, crisscrossing your legs on the squishy foam mat. “I’ve been thinking about telling him how I feel.” you confess, blush dusting across your cheeks.
“Really?” she asks, a sense of alarm in her voice that gives you pause.
“Do you think I shouldn’t?  I’m pretty sure he feels the same way, he even put his arm around me today…” you reply worriedly, now doubting each tiny interaction you’ve had with him over the past few days.
“That’s promising!  I just—” she starts, taking a moment to gather her thoughts, “—I think you should let him come to you.  He’s never been in a relationship before.  Ever.  And even though it seems like he likes you, that would be a big step for him.  I just don’t want to see you put yourself out there and get hurt when you could simply wait a little while and know for sure where his head’s at.”
“Makes sense, I’ll wait it out, then.” you reply, taking a deep breath as you attempt to release your stress.
“Okay!  Now let’s actually focus and do cats and cows!” Ikkaku exclaims, getting onto her hands and knees as you smile and do the same.
Set on two disparate courses, with you resolved to let Law take things into his own hands, and him trying to keep his distance, the two of you fall into an unhappy routine for the next few days, barely speaking and only catching glimpses of one another at mealtimes.  Though Shachi and Penguin had been so sure that this was going to work, it had become quite clear to Law that something was beyond wrong due to their meddling, and so he consults a third party for another opinion.
“Ikkaku, you’re a woman.” Law says plainly, crossing his legs as he leans back in his office chair.
“Of course I am, are you having a stroke, Captain?” she jokes, sinking into the plush armchair opposite his desk.
“Tch, just hear me out,” he grumbles, “Shachi and Penguin told me that being more distant makes men more desirable, but it doesn’t seem to be working.”  His words cause Ikkaku to let out a knowing sigh that immediately makes his stomach drop.
“Not to make you panic, Captain, but she’s been mopey and sad all week because of the way you’ve been acting.” she says cautiously, walking carefully to try to prevent him from getting too worked up.
“Idiots.  I can’t believe I trusted them…” he mumbles, turning red with embarrassment.  Ikkaku can’t help but giggle quietly, earning her a nasty glare from her captain. “Alright, how do I fix this?” he asks, not wanting to dwell on the past as he focuses on the near future.
“Apologize, for starters.” Ikkaku says, crossing her arms.
“You know I hate doing that…” he grumbles quietly, his voice trailing off near the end of his sentence.
Ikkaku lets out an exasperated sigh. “Do you want her or not?” she asks, a hint of annoyance in her voice.
“I do!” Law exclaims with frustration.
“Then say you’re sorry for being a total jerk!” she shoots back, letting out a disgruntled sigh as she readjusts her beanie.
Law takes a deep breath that’s shaky enough to attest to all the stress he’s currently under. “But then I have to explain why I’ve been acting this way and I’ll look like a complete idiot.” he hisses, pulling the brim of his cap over his eyes.
“You are an idiot!  I can’t believe you let them talk you into this—” she starts, though a warning glare from Law gets her to switch gears, “—look, Captain, if you don’t want to explain yourself, just go back to the way things were before.  It was working well enough to make her want to confess.” she says, with just enough enthusiasm to entice him to regain hope; however, her words have the opposite effect, and he buries his head in his arms.
“And now I ruined it. Great.” he mumbles, hands dipping underneath his hat to pull at his hair in frustration.
“Actually, I told her not to.” Ikkaku says sheepishly, causing Law to sit up and stare at her wide-eyed as he waits for an explanation, “I know you’ve never been in this situation before, so I figured it would be best for her to wait until you were certain about getting serious with her.  I didn’t want her to get hurt.” she explains gently, silently biting her tongue as a remark about him already having hurt you threatens to escape her lips.
Law pauses for a moment, swirling in his own thoughts before nodding, seemingly satisfied with her explanation as he takes a shaky breath. “Thank you, Ikkaku, I appreciate it.” he says, implying with his tone that she was free to go.
“Any time, Captain.  Need anything else?” she asks as she stands.
“Send her my way so I can patch this up.” he replies, leaning back into his chair, markedly more relaxed than he was before.
“Aye-aye, Captain!  Good luck!” she chirps, giving him a mock salute as she exits the office, leaving Law alone to compose himself before you arrive.  The wait stretches somewhere between a moment and an eternity, with a littering of racing thoughts, and hastily created plans running through Law’s mind as he bounces his leg impatiently.
“Hey… you wanted to see me?” you ask gingerly, breaking him from his thoughts.
He awkwardly stands and makes his way towards the couch, slumping down into the cushions. “I figured we could hang out since we haven’t gotten the chance to lately… if you’re not too busy.” he says cautiously, as if he had spent a lifetime choosing and arranging each word in his statement.
“I’d love that!” you reply quickly, your face burning at how eager you were to get even the tiniest crumb of attention from him after being neglected for the past few days.
“Been reading anything good this week?” he asks nonchalantly as you flop down on the couch next to him.
You nod. “That novel I grabbed on the last island—it’s more so bad, it’s good than anything else though.” you reply with a shaky giggle.
“Murder mystery, right?  Tell me about it.” he urges, spreading his legs just a smidge in order to press the side of his leg against yours, both of you blushing at the tiny iota of warm contact.
While you ramble on to him, he keeps track of your words, but is more so focused on the minute changes in your expression, the way your voice wavers and wobbles, and the unbearable tension you carry in your shoulders—he had intended on getting away with not having to explain himself to you, but it was clear his behavior had shaken you up, making him grit his teeth with shame.
“You seem nervous.” Law observes as you trail off, staring at you so intently that you can’t bear to keep eye contact with him.
“I am.” you admit, letting out a deep sigh, “I know you needed space to gather your thoughts, but my head’s a mess and—”
“It’s nothing like that.” Law says, gaining the courage to place his hand on your knee reassuringly as he continues. “I’m sure about how I feel—I’ve been sure about how I feel, but I got some bad advice about how to handle it.” he confesses, unable to meet your eyes.  Fishing out a piece of paper, he thrusts it into your hands.  “Shachi and Penguin gave me this stupid thing and told me I had to ignore you to get you to like me more.” he says quietly, knowing you’ll get a kick out of how silly it was, even if you ended up laughing a little at his expense.
An amused smirk grows on your face as you study the paper, eyes scanning over each time slot. “Have you seriously been edging for six hours a day?” you ask with a giggle as you study the schedule.
“No!” he exclaims, snatching the paper out of your hands, “But I actually have been ‘researching rare fish’ to help pass the time, I think I’ve identified a few species that may produce some natural products with medicinal properties.” he explains, pointing to the entry that says ‘3:45 AM, research rare fish’.
“Interesting—let me know what you’re after and I’ll isolate and characterize the compounds for you.” you reply, perking up with a grin on your face.  Relieved to see you return to your usual demeanor, he lets out a soft sigh.
“That’s my girl.” Law says, tightening his grip on your knee, and smirking when he sees your face start to burn, eyes blown wide as his words send shivers down your spine.
Knowing he’s got you right where he wants you, he presses harder against your pressure point.  “You like that, don’t you?” he teases, placing a hand on your waist and coaxing you into his lap.  Unable to respond properly, you nod your head and let out a tiny whimper of agreement. “So flustered you can’t even speak.  So cute.” he whispers, brushing a stray strand of hair out of your face.
“Can I kiss you?” he asks softly, his eyes swimming with a mixture of adoration and nerves. 
“Please—” you whisper, though the word barely escapes you before his lips press onto yours.  He’s clumsy, with inexperience dripping from his lips, but he’s purposeful and heated in his movements, intent on making up for lost time.
“Sorry this took me so long.” he whispers, running one of his tattooed hands along your side while the other lazily grips your waist.
“It was worth the wait.” you reply softly, cupping his face as you lean in to kiss him again.
720 notes · View notes
starchaserwrites · 1 month
Text
@jegulus-microfic / march 15: use / word count: 456
"Regulus? Please don't hang up!,” the person on the other end of the line says as soon as he picks up the call. “I know you told me you never wanted to hear from me again, but I really need to hear your voice," It's three in the morning and the incoming call dragged him out of the peaceful sleep he was having.
A moment passes and the man continues with an abnormal speech rhythm. "Well, if you don't want to say anything just listen. I miss you incredibly much… and I know I need to move on, but how could I look away now that I've seen you?" there is the faint sound of clinking glasses and laughter. "I think I'm starting to forget things about you that I never thought I'd have to forget. I can't remember which of the bookshops near your flat you like best, or what brand of pencils you prefer to use," a hint of anguish and despair creeps in at the end of the sentence.
"Oh, by the way your favorite black hoodie is still here, I didn’t forget about it! It still smells vaguely of you and sometimes I wake up thinking that you'll be on the other side of the bed and that this will all have been a bad dream. Please come get it whenever you want, it would be more than nice to see you.
“Anyway, I'm surprised you're so quiet and haven't insulted me yet, I hope it's a sign that you're not so angry anymore. It hurts me every moment we are apart, and if you forgive me I promise I won't fail you ever again… I'm so sorry and I love you." the sound of sobs fills the line.
"Hey, do yourself a favour and never call this number again or you will regret it." James Potter answers in a steady voice.
The caller audibly gasps. “Wha— who are you? Where is Reggie?”
“I’m his boyfriend, that’s all you need to know,” the arm around his waist pulls him closer. “If you ever call again, I won’t be this calm, be warmed.”
"James, who is it?" asks a sleepy Regulus as he snuggles closer to his chest.
James is more than fed up with the pathetic speech, but he ends the call with a pleased smirk when Regulus' ex starts to protest after hearing his voice.
"Wrong number." 
It's the fourth time this month that the ex-boyfriend who cheated on Regulus has called. James and Regulus are not together (at least not yet), but after seeing him torn to pieces after the break-up, James refuses to let the bastard hurt him anymore.
Wrapping Regulus in his arms they go back to sleep.
546 notes · View notes