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#it's been TWENTY YEARS and im still pissed

vivwritesfics · 3 months

Note

hii !! i absolutely adore all your writing, you’re literally my fav F1 writer.

may i request a danny ric & wolff!daughter story ? :) if not that’s okay you can ignore this.

age gap bc im a sucker

Warnings: Hint of a daddy kink (for comedy purposes) but no smut

She was twenty five, not old enough to be dating a thirty four year old. At least, not in her fathers eyes. But the more he saw of them together, the more Toto came to accept it.

It took a full year before Toto felt ready to invite Daniel over for dinner. It was a big step, something that said to both Y/N and Daniel that he was finally accepting of their relationship.

Y/N and Daniel made their way to Toto and Susies house. Susie wasn't her mother, but she loved Y/N like a daughter. They, along with Jack, had formed a little family unit. Susie was the first person she told about Daniel, and she'd made her promise to keep it a secret until she felt ready to tell Toto herself.

They stood on the door step. Toto had made it clear that it was a fancy dinner, to dress to the nines. It was to challenge Daniel, they both knew, but he'd take any challenge Toto was going to throw his way.

Y/N straightened up his tie and kissed him before she knocked on the door. "Just relax and be yourself. My dad loves George Russell for some unexplainable reason, so he'll love you too," she said. (Let it be known that Y/N and George were friends, the kind of friends that took the piss out of each other constantly).

They were welcomed into the house and sat at the table as food was brought over. Conversation was idle, easy. Especially for Daniel. But Y/N could tell he was nervous. He was handling it brilliantly, though.

They scooped different parts of the meal onto their plates. Y/N had chicken and veg, but no potatoes. "Daddy, can you pass the potatoes?" She asked, grinning at her father (she had always been a daddy's girl and had never outgrown the name).

It was like something out of a movie, something not real. At the same time Daniel and Toto reached for the tray of potatoes. But Toto stilled himself, watching in horror as Daniel passed Y/N the potatoes.

Neither of them seemed to notice as Toto and Susie stared at them (Jack was completely unaware).

Suddenly Y/N looked up. "What?" She asked as she passed the potatoes back to Daniel.

And then it clicked. "Oh shit," she mumbled under her breath, refusing to meet her dads eye. There was no explanation for what had just happened, not one that wouldn't scar her parents. "This... isn't what it looks like?"

#daniel ricciardo #daniel ricciardo imagine #daniel ricciardo x reader #daniel ricciardo fluff #daniel ricciardo smut #daniel ricciardo x reader smut #daniel ricciardo x you #f1 #f1 imagine #f1 x reader #formula one #formula one imagine #formula one x reader #formula 1 #formula 1 imagine #formula 1 x reader #dr3 #dr3 imagine #dr3 x reader

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hanniluvi · 1 year

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LOVE NEWS ! — YJW SMAU

SYNOPSIS : BREAKING NEWS! valentine’s is right around the corner, yet you still had no partner. you didn’t think too much of it, you probably thought it was just another year where you’ll be single again. not a big issue at all. however, your favorite gossip account proves you wrong! what if you find out someone actually likes you? after gathering all the hints you’ve been given, you narrowed your list down to one person. that one person ended up being yang jungwon, one of your crushes. there’s no way, one of your crushes actually liking you back? will you believe it’s just fake or actual love news?

PAIRING : classmate!jungwon x fem!reader

GENRE : smau, fluff, crack, classmates to lovers

FEATURING : all enhypen members; hanni — new jeans; yunjin — le sserafim; rei — ive; soul — p1harmony; sunwoo — the boyz (more might be added later on)

WARNINGS : swearing, use of kys + kms jokes, some lovey dovey action (some warnings will be mentioned on top of the chapters if any)

NOTE : this is all FICTION! this has nothing to do with any idols irl! + reblogs/likes/comments are appreciated so i can improve later on 🤍

AUTHORS NOTE : another jungwon smau yay!! heres a smau i thought of while i was procrastinating my other smaus.. anyways im really excited for this one so i hope you guys are too as well <3

STATUS : completed ! (DEC 24 2022 - MAR 4 2023)

LOVED LOVE NEWS? CHECK OUT LOVE ERROR, THE SECOND SMAU !

PROFILES . . !

gossip baes [yn] | love news club [jungwon]

LATEST NEWS . . ! (chapters)

article one - whats new?

article two - what if i press this silly “tweet” button 🤣

article three - SOMEONE LIKES YN??

— bonus : kim sunwoo im keeping my eyes on you fr.

article four - the dm

article five - niki scamming time

— bonus : nikis scamming (gone wrong)

article six - who? crush #45?

article seven - eye contact (written + smau)

article eight - SOUL PSYCHIC

article nine - THE BATHROOM DOOR

article ten - why she kinda

article eleven - who tf is he 😧

article twelve - idk…piss on it 🤔

article thirteen - okay what if…

article fourteen - niki DUPE

article fifteen - WON VICE PRES???

— bonus (1) : prez datez (real?!)

— bonus (2) : MF PARK SUNGHOON??

article sixteen - dude hes flirting 😂

article seventeen - overthinking ..

article eighteen - LET ME IN

article nineteen - feeling evil (written + smau)

article twenty - getting on my nerves

— bonus : her love news era 😍‼️

article twenty-one - cackles evilly

article twenty-two - just a silly move

article twenty-three - megamind 😱

article twenty-four - yn 2.0??

article twenty-five - twirls hair

article twenty-six - be mine?

article twenty-seven - confirmed <3

ENHA PERM TAGLIST OPENED !

@son4taa @luvhooniez @yenavrse @shinsou-rii @luveuly @ilovewonyo @yenqa @dimplewonie @bubblytaetae @wtfhyuck

PERM TAGLIST . .

@ahnneyong @hanienie

WAITING FOR MORE UPDATES? JOIN NOW!

TAGLIST . . 💗 CLOSED 💗

bolded = can’t tag </3

@invusblog @wonvnz @xiaoderrrr @flowers4thalia @nyuukei @curly-fr13s @itsactuallylina @risseei @0310lvr @viagumi @luvdokja @sickvision @wanna-live-yn-life @rionah @dreamenvi @rinnqx @0i8ma @ksnu @sunoksunny @aki1e @adajoemaya @naddii @yourfavjwstan @meeznoi @neozon3nha @wonyoungsvirus @rionah @nokacchan @luvkait @kyanmeai @sserafimez @wonieleles @beomsbeanie @yabukkura @shynypeacekitten @en-minniesode @seungily @captivq @georgi-salva @nayuzaa @jjulliette

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modernghostfare · 5 months

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Hello.. can we get more ghostmace headcanons. If you ever wrote any pls link them too...

:)c YESSS i love talking abt maceghost.. i know ive made a bunch of sporadic posts about them but i havent done a like dedicated hcs post. i feel like often im struggling to understand the narrative of their past but generally i keep the same vibe to it all.

mace is for sure the more level headed of the two only because relationships and love freak ghost out. ive mentioned on a post like years ago hes traumatized by watching his mother stick with his father and i still believe this. hes like scared to be in a position where something Isn't working anymore but hes too emotional to cut it off so he self sabotages the relationship so mace will get pissed and stop talking to him.

in the past (as i mentioned in another post) mace Did also feed into this. he had a good home life but his own personal issues and anger at more outward issues caused him to like. seek an outlet for this sort of petty squabbling. and he found it in ghost. until he got tired of festering and being pissed off all the time and decided to actually like Do Shit he feels good about. and he broke up with ghost.

now in modern times where theyve caught up with each other it's like a weird mash of their past and them both being more mature. ghost struggles more because hes very adverse to actually improving himself and how he feels about himself bc hes like. hes Given Up on being a person. while mace has done a lot of healing.

like the toxic factor of maceghost Is Ghost at this point to me. but theres a lot of love there bc theres a lot of mutual respect and, like, easy familiarity there. mace understands how ghost works at his core.

so like. when ghost is being Normal and not anxious they literally just. like. Click? mace can extremely put ghost at ease with just his presence. and mace in turn rly enjoys his company bc a calm ghost is actually just sort of casually funny.

and ghost does like making mace laugh i imagine mace has a really beautiful smile bc he has resting bitch face so when it lights up it's very special.

ghost also i think would be 100% willing to take his mask off in a room of just him and mace. no special occasion needed he's just comforted. mace has already seen it over many, many years.

because they're like an Old couple i think theyve been on and off since their mid twenties for ghost and late twenties for mace. WHICH is another reason mace like wont entertain the childish picking ghost does theyre literally too old.

but he does play along a little. sometimes. old habits die hard. if it's petty mace will have a back and forth w ghost for old times sake its just how ghost communicates sometimes. emotions are just hard for ghost mace understands this. to put all of this simply.

i will say tho if more comes out and they end up more antagonistic than my current read i will still be a huge stan i love when dudes try to fuck and kill each other 💪🥰💕

speaking of fucking tho. tw for implying sexual assault also i just got kinda nasty sowwy.

LIKE we know ghost has a complicated relationship w sex a lot of his past history w it is like traumatic. i think he was already promiscuous as a teen bc he already had issues from his upbringing so hes like. well experienced. and he likes sex. and he likes fucking mace bc his dick is thick, hes good with his hands, and he's not afraid to be rough with him and take their time bc mace likes to be edged and when ghost is rly into it he Likes it to Last esp if he can cum more than once. he likes when his pussy is sore.

BUT ALSOO theyre both like. verse esp w each other. ghost likes topping more tho. he likes fucking mace for being a little bit vocal and just. like. huge. ghost loves bending him over and watching his fat bounce. ghost would blow off any task and anyone to go fuck him.

but also, bc its ghost and i think if the wrong buttons get pressed in the wrong order and it goes sour he gets quiet and, like, disassociates. and mace keeps watch for that bc he doesn't want to put ghost in that state. its not fun

#asks #anon #call of duty #call of duty modern warfare #mwmp #maceghost #i love them literally i think about them all the time.#ive said maybe 50% of this before but The Vibes #Important.#i think also i said like and literally a million times brothers im sorry

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icarus-does-fall · 10 days

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Dontcha just love when the parents (read stepmom and the allowing father) abused you for almost 12? years to keep at it even after moving out?

My bad- 😔 beeing openly traumatized isn't very "silly little gay guy" of me, apologies besties (I am... very possibly high and needed to vent <3)

Just fucking *love* being called a pathological lier and manipulator which started at NINE MOTHERFUCKING YEARS OLD cause I was oh I don't know a child??? Who was uprooted and whose dad married a bitch CAUSE GOD TOLD HIM TO????

I was eight (through seventeen) and this bitch was breaking my things and tearing apart my room KICKING ME OUT OF MY ROOM all cause she got upset over something

Guess who learned early in life how to hide brusies💪 (shit got thrown at me <3 like a TV remote, an ice pack, shoes, dishes fucking great right)

I LIVED IN THE FUCKIN PANTRY LIKE HARRY FUCKIN POTTER

Motherfucker tried to kick me out THREE TIMES just cause I somehow pissed her off (read forgot to do the dishes ONE night, talked back cause I was getting screamed at till 2am, didn't scrub the fuckin baseboards, ect ect)

But noooo now im nearly TWENTY and these fuckers are still doing the same shit cause I expect them to keep their promises?? Cause I'm living my life??? Cause I've proved I don't need them?? So of course they're going to do everything they can to break the life I've been building for myself

CAUSE TO THEM IM ALWAYS GONNA BE FUCKING 12 AND NOT ABLE TO EXIST WITHOUT HELP (please read, ive been raising myself since I was 5, and had to keep multiple alive since that age as well)

Suuuuure I've been hospitalized sometimes cause I took on too much and my mental health shattered so I shattered (im a little traumatized srry)

But then I get to make funny little jokes about how I was hurt and scared for life, i cope that way🤷‍♂️

I got so much fucking wrong with me it's no wonder my relationships go bad, I scare people and I'm fucked up so I pick fucked up people, I should stop huh but damn does hearing the words "I want you, need you, love you" does wonders for my serotonin

AND!! And I've never needed help to survive, I've done that shit on my own cause someone needed to raise me and it wasn't going to be my parents

#vent post #tw vent #toxic parents #im high and have emotions #vent #tw abuse #mental health #just a guy #oldest daughter #yay trauma #i really need a fuckin hug lmao #bpd vent

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pfenniged · 11 months

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Okay, so my best friend and I pieced together why Rooster was so pissed at Maverick for pulling his papers solely based on the dates giving on his record in the movie.

So to give you a timeline, Maverick pulled his papers and Rooster is 35 at the time of the movie.

The records say Rooster graduated college in 2009, but it shows that he enlisted in 2004 at twenty.

So what basically happened is that Rooster applied for Annapolis, which is the naval college, didn’t get in because his records were pulled at 20, and had to enlist as a basic dude.

The records then say he got promoted around 2006, which makes sense- and that’s when he started to take online classes to attempt to be an officer the long form way around.

This is why he says his career was set back, because he basically had to start off at the bottom of the pecking order (pardon the pun), and then do college to skip some of the steps, which took him six years instead of the four years if he’d been admitted into Annapolis.

If you come out of Annapolis like a lot of enlistees do as officers, they get a guarantee as pilots, and then you get assigned your type of pilot you are. A super-straightforward process.

So basically Rooster had to do regular college, while he was doing his regular enlisted job, for SIX YEARS to get to the same position Annapolis would have done in four. And he had to do really well in all his coursework to be like PLEASE LET ME BE A PILOT.

It also says his address is Virginia Beach, Virginia, and the University of Virginia has programs for active military dudes, because it’s near Quantico, which is the biggest Navy base in the United States.

So either he did some coursework before that he paid for on his own, or worked until twenty/ took care of Carole, and then enlisted. Attempted to go through Annapolis, got rejected because Maverick pulled his papers, and then had to enlist as a regular schmuck and then most likely once he got his promotion in 2006, then they were like SURE WE’LL PAY FOR ALL OF YOUR SCHOOLWORK because he was finally on the officer track/ was seen as serious enough to do his degree work, and then this man had to complete three more years of coursework remotely at sea with bag-ass shitty wifi.

Even though there’s the GI Bill, it’s harder to get involved in higher level officer coursework/ or degree coursework as a “grunt.” So that’s most likely why it took him three years to apply, and why he started classes in 2006 when he got promoted.

So on top of all this, imagine poor Rooster just having to do his entire degree remotely and having to have his big ass type away with two fingers (cause you know he’s a two-finger typer), for three years along with active duty, in order to graduate and get to the same level he would have been if he’d gotten into Annapolis in the first place.

On top of all that, there was still no guarantee that he could have been flying jets after all this. Because it’s a draw system after you choose like your top three choices for being a certain type of pilot, and not like, the straightforward process it is at Annapolis where you can get assigned a jet pilot right off the jump.

So like, he also had a hell of a lot of luck, because if he had been given the other two options, this poor asshole could have been flying a chopper or some shit.

SO TO BE FAIR MAVERICK I’D ALSO BE PISSED AFTER YOU MADE ME DO MY ENTIRE DEGREE BY BASICALLY THE MODERN DAY EQUIVALENT OF PIGEON CORRESPONDENCE BECAUSE YOU COULDN’T HANDLE YOUR GUILT PLUS HAD TO HAVE A HELL OF A LOT OF LUCK SO I WASN’T FLYING HELICOPTERS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE THANKS MAV IM 35 AT THE SAME RANK AS A 30 YEAR OLD

#I spent way too much time reasoning this out whoops #personal #Top Gun Maverick #Rooster #Bradley Bradshaw #Maverick #Pete Mitchell #Top Gun

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googoobabajogwick · 10 months

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Hot Knife chpt 7

descripton: You and John head out to get more answers plus argue some more which leaves you both miserable but perhaps not everything is as bad as it seems.

triggers: violence / talks of drugs / withdrawals / misogynistic slur

word count:5.8k

mini authors note: im debating not posting my fic here lol might not but if i do it will be awhile :D

<------------>

Hot Knife Chapter 7: Still I Cling On

You and Jardani sat on the subway. Your body ached as you went through the withdrawals Doc had told you you would go through. Jardani had made you promise to quit using but many times you had ended up right back here. This time would be different. You were twenty five now and had a different outlook on life.

Even more so now that you and Jardani had been together for seven years. He’d really helped you through some dark days and nights although he himself struggled at times. He just did what felt right and somehow, it was always right. You laid your head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around you.

Your boyfriend was taking you out but you still had no clue where and every time you asked he smiled a huge smile showing off his teeth. He wouldn't tell you and while you hated surprises you knew Jardani would never do anything to upset you. Most of the time you could get it out of him but not this time.

He had woken you up and you were pissed at first. Withdrawals sucked. Your body ached and shook and all you really wanted to do was snuggle up with him in bed until you couldn't take it and kicked him out of the bed. Why wouldn't he let you sleep through it? Asshole.

The irritability you felt at the feeling of him shaking you awake was enough for you to almost throw the lamp on your bedside table at him. Jardani was healthier though and caught your wrist. He had a surprise. You'd think he’d tell you what it was, considering how you already hated surprises and were in discomfort, but no. You were getting too depressed, another symptom of withdrawals.

Jardani wanted you to get out of the apartment and as much as you wanted to hit him for disrupting your small moments of relief, he was too cute. Despite your shaking and sweating he dragged you out of bed and onto public transportation as his car had been destroyed, once again.

You looked like death; pale, chapped lips covered in chapstick, horrible bags under your eyes, sweating like crazy in a pair of sweatpants and an oversized shirt. People stared and you stared right back until they looked away. Some people were way too bold, if only they knew how dangerous the strange couple they stared at was.

“How much longer?” You croaked out in Belarussian.

“Almost there baby.” He responded in Russian.

You rolled your eyes. Jardani would never speak his native language, opting for the more commonly used language at the theater, Russian. When you first met him, Belarusian, Ukrainian and English were all you spoke but everyone was taught multiple different languages. Your boyfriend didn’t care for his life before Roma Ruska took him in.

You didn’t blame him but you wished he’d talk to you in the language you loved most. That was what you shared. He was stubborn though and only would during his most serious and intimate moments with you. Before you knew it he was standing up and bringing you with him.

As the two of you got off he wrapped his arm around you once more and guided you down the street. It was warm out and the birds were chirping. Mid-spring was always your favorite time of the year. Not too hot, not too cold and everything was regrowing from the dead of winter. The winters in New York sucked, not enough sunlight.

“Night day out, yeah?” Jardani asked you.

You nodded and continued to analyze your surroundings, he was taking you towards some private hangers. He’d brought you here before but you were confused because he didn’t have a car this time. You turned to him, confused, but he continued to walk.

The two of you entered the property and he got behind you to covered your eyes.

“Ok. What are you doing?” You asked unamused.

“Trust me?”

“Always.” Your response was immediate. “Well sometimes because sometimes your judgment can be questionable.”

Jardani just chucked and continued to walk with you. After a minute of walking you felt him pull away and you opened your eyes. In front of you was obviously a car under a blanket. You crossed your arms as he went to pull the fabric off. Then you tried to stop the awe from breaking out on your face as he revealed a Black Ford Falcon with heavy tinted windows.

“This is your new car?”

“Well, after I destroyed my last car…”

You cut him off.

“You’re always destroying your cars”

“I just haven’t found the perfect one. I’m meeting with a seller soon, a 1969 Ford Mustang. Anyways I needed a new one.”

His dream car. You smiled at him and then took a look at your dream car. It was so nice you couldn’t help but be saddened by the fact it would probably be destroyed within a week, thanks to Jardani. He watched you with his hands on his hips before opening the passenger door.

You got in and he jogged to the driver's side. Your hands ran along the smooth dash and they itched to grab the steering wheel. He turned the key and the engine roared to life. A giddy laugh escaped your throat as you forgot all about your withdrawal symptoms.

“How much was this thing?” You asked him worried, yet excited.

Jardani shrugged his shoulders but you could see the mischief in his eyes.

“Does it matter? We’re rich.”

Before you knew it he hit the gas and began to take you on a little joy ride. Drifting around corners, passing people and speeding like crazy. You laughed and shouted and held onto his bicep for dear life even though you’d done this many times and knew he’d never let anything bad happen to you.

When the ride was over he pulled in front of your shared apartment. You coughed, still trying to catch your breath from laughing and having so much fun. Jardani sat and watched you in awe. He loved seeing you happy. The entire ride he was watching you from his peripheral vision, if he didn’t have to stare at the road he’d keep his eyes on you.

Jardani was very excited for what came next. The two of you sat in silence in the car, your hand held his. He brought your knuckles up to kiss them while gazing into your eyes. You felt butterflies and your face heat up, so charming and sweet he’d put even the most chivalrous knight to shame.

“It’s yours.” Jardani whispered against your knuckles.

Your eyes went wide and you ripped your hand away from him.

“What?”

“This car. I bought it for you.”

You scoffed, expecting him to tell you it was a joke but the words never came.

“My goddess is hurting.” His hand caressed your cheek. “I can't have that. Let’s go camping together, just get away for a bit. There’s a contract I have… maybe you could help me.”

Shocking enough— considering the thought of going on a hit at a time like this hadn’t even crossed your mind— another huge, even bigger than before, smile graced your lips. The woods would do you some good, a great place to detox. You’d never felt happier and you leaned over to claim his lips in a kiss. His hands came up to cup the sides of your face as the two of you made out.

It was rough and sloppy as your fingers threaded through his hair and pulled him closer to you. You loved him so much you almost wanted to absorb him, become one with him. He knew just how to make things better. Both of you broke apart and were out of breath.

“I love you so much.”

Jardani returned the sentiment as you undid your belt buckle and he expected you to climb onto his lap. Instead you started to squeeze yourself into the back.

He had to help you since it was a tight fit but once you got back there you sat, your arms stretched out around the back of the seats and your legs spread open. Your boyfriend couldn’t help but think you looked like a dude and smirked.

“Well first I should say thank you… but I think there’s something more important that needs to be done.”

“What’s that?”

You gave Jardani a knowing simper and brought your hand down to pat your thigh.

“I think it’s time to christen the thing. Why don’t you get back here and eat my pussy?” Your hands were on their way to push your sweat pants down.

He let out a mesmerized chuckle at your crass words.

“Okay.”

Instead of the smarter decision to get out and meet you he himself tried to shove his way in the back. Your hands came up, leaving the waistband of your sweats, to grab him by his jacket and help pull him to you. You kissed him as his much larger body struggled to meet you in the back. Your gut was going to bust with the amount of laughing you were doing today.

Eventually he made it in the back and all that could be seen and heard from the outside was a car rocking and giggles from inside.

You tried to focus on the road as John shot out the window next to you at the men chasing you down in their car. Both of you were trying to get to this cafe but were finding it difficult. This was the third car since you left the King’s place that has tried to run you off the road.

Your head ducked the best it could as the back window was shot and shattered everywhere. The car was almost destroyed and you felt your heart breaking into little tiny pieces. Your ex came back into the car and reloaded his pistol. You swerved the car trying to get them off your tail but your attempts were futile.

John had killed two of the passengers but couldn’t get the driver. Your hands turned the wheel and you lightly hit the brakes before hitting the gas again. If he wouldn’t stop following you, you’d do what you had to do. You side swiped the car causing it to crash into a ditch. Your brain hurt imagining the damage you were doing to this beautiful machine.

The way the car crashed gave John a perfect shot of the driver and he pulled the trigger, shooting him in the head.

“The poor car…” You whined while drifting around the corner and not stopping.

Your ex gave you a sympathetic look.

“I get it.”

“Yeah right if you understood you’d stop destroying every nice thing you owned.” Your voice was filled with attitude.

You were still pissed about yesterday. The car may have brightened your mood a bit but you were still miserable. Plus it was destroyed now, reminding you again, that every good thing comes to an end in your life. You thought about yesterday.

John’s low blow’s usually hurt deep. He didn’t answer you and opted to look out the broken window, knowing exactly why you were upset.

John knew you remembered last night but it was obvious it didn’t change anything. He felt torn, not knowing his feelings for you were going to be that intense that fast, he felt guilty. She wouldn’t be mad. He would remind himself. Then why do you feel so wrong? He shook his head without even thinking.

“What?” You asked.

Christ. Did you always have to be watching him?

“Nothing.” He said in a curt tone.

“Fine.” You bit back and the gas light turned on. “Great. Almost out of gas. We should probably walk anyway.”

John nodded as you pulled over in a parking lot. You got out and stretched your arms and legs as they felt sore from all the jerking around you did in the car. These people were insane. All for money too, you could never understand that and you were dirt poor as a child! Then you were an orphan and even then you wouldn’t risk your life the way these people would.

Not for money at least. There would always be more hits in the future.

Shutting his door, he couldn’t help but watch. The permanent glare on your face was a bit endearing. John knew this all must be so weird to you. You never understood why people did what they did. Well, you could but this whole situation was a new level of crazy and the two of you had been in some strange situations together.

You took one more look at the car. A deep frown on your face. Such a waste. It was riddled with bullets and almost all the windows were destroyed. This pain you felt… This is exactly why you never bought another Ford Falcon in your life. You didn’t deserve them.

John would laugh if he knew for sure you wouldn’t swing at him, which he didn’t, so he continued to observe. He still remembered the day you lost the one he bought for you in an explosion. There was no saving or restoring it. You cried but it was more due to all the memories you made with and in it.

With one more goodbye you turned on your heel and began to walk in the direction of the cafe. If you were right it would be a twenty minute walk. John gave the non sentient object a nod and followed in your steps, hanging back a couple of feet the entire way there.

The walk took twenty minutes, thankfully there was no one to make it longer. You stared up at the old sign that said “Sandies''. It was an older building and cute. You’d even take your daughters there if you weren’t about to go in and fuck shit up.

John looked at you, to see if you were ready and you shrugged. He acknowledged you and walked in first. You followed and looked around the diner. Not many people were inside. There was a waitress pouring a man a cup of coffee near the back, the cook and a table of three men sitting together.

It was like out of the movies; everyone stopped and stared at you. Even the waitress stopped pouring the coffee. The older of the three sitting together, eyes widened before he nodded at the younger men. John continued to observe the situation and then all hell broke loose.

Everyone pulled out a gun and a laugh of disbelief almost left your throat. Seriously? Back in the 80’s and 90’s there were a lot of assassins but this was insane. Even the fry boys were hit men these days? A lot of things were different. Everyone stared at each other and everything moved in slow motion.

John lifted his suit jacket to cover himself as everyone started shooting. You watched as the bullets rolled off his jacket like oil in water. The thing you noticed was that everyone was shooting at each other, which made you realize the bounty went up. It was too high to not at least attempt.

The two young men jumped from their seats, shielding themselves from all bullets. They ran past the two of you and out the door. You grabbed John, who was about to join the shooting and pulled him behind the host stand. He looked at you with confusion written all over his face.

John’s eyes followed where yours were when he saw you staring out the glass door. The two men were racing to their car, trying to get the doors open fast. You opened the diner door and one almost fell over as you shot him in the leg. Curses left your mouth as you shoved the door open even more and focused.

It was hard not to celebrate when your bullet went through the back window and hit the passenger in the head. The driver sped off and you could only hope he’d bleed out before he got to where he needed to go. You turned back towards John and held up one finger, indicating you killed one. He gave you a small dip of the head.

When you both returned to the fighting in the diner you saw the waitress was fighting with the man who sent the boys off while the fry cook was shooting at the lonely man. You would go after them and John would get the other two. Out of all these people there was only one that needed to be alive and it was the older man.

With a small bob of your head you ran for the kitchen. You held your own jacket up, hoping it would help you like it did John. A bullet hit you and knocked you to the ground and you groaned. It still hurt like hell. While you were down the lone man decided to go after you but you grabbed his legs and spun yourself, knocking him in the ground. His head hit the ground disorienting him while you jumped on him, shooting him in the face.

You groaned and you knew there would be a bruise but you got back up, continuing your sprint to the kitchen. Your shoulder hit the swinging door and you ducked fast to avoid getting smashed in the face by a frying pan. When you got back up he had his gun pointed at you.

Like second nature you grabbed his wrist, aiming the gun away from you as he shot. You pulled him towards you and twirled yourself around. John tended to use this move a lot, more than you did. It was very effective. You hit him in the stomach and then neck. As he doubled over you grabbed his shoulders and the back of his head, slamming his skull agains the nearest hard surface.

It just so happened that that hard surface was the stove. The man let out a horrific scream as his flesh sizzled before you pulled him back up and shoved your knife into his throat, ending his misery. His body made a ‘thud’ sound as it hit the ground. You let out a deep breath and pulled your pistol back out.

The sounds of gun fire seemed to have stopped. You flicked the clip out of your gun and grabbed a new one off your hip. Only three rounds were used but you reloaded anyways. You could never be too careful. Not wasting another second you walked out.

Your gun was raised and ready to shoot. The waitress was dead on the ground and John was holding the man up by his collar. His face was bloody from the beating he received from the Baba Yaga. You rolled your eyes. This is why he needed you. Too much brawn and no brain.

You walked up and took your backpack off your shoulders. While digging around you heard the man start to chuckle.

“So it’s true. The Angel of Death is back. Tell me, has La Saint-Glinglin finally occurred? I’ll never tell you a thing.” His French accent was thick.

“No it hasn't. Something crazier happened; you pissed off John Wick meaning, you all have annoyed me enough to help him clean up his mess. I had a reputation too, y'know.” You didn’t look up until you found what you were looking for.

Everyone could say what they wanted about John but to undermine you… Even your ex felt sick at the sight of the long needle. You definitely brought that for times like this. The man’s smug smile dropped as he swallowed. You could get anyone to talk and he knew it as well.

“Hold him up facing me and time me John.”

He grunted and looked out the window. Torture wasn’t that fun to John. Not like it was for you. To him it was a necessary thing that had to be done sometimes. He stuck to the basics while you enjoyed coming up with the worst ways to get someone to talk. Though he couldn’t lie, you were very efficient at it, due to your anatomical knowledge.

John would stop you if it got to be too much. He listened to you as you walked up to the man and explained how you knew where every major nerve ending was. You observed his body trying to decide where you wanted to poke him. Right as you pressed the needle into the skin where you wanted he spoke.

“Chucks Auto Mechanic’s up in the Western part of New York. Niagara Falls, Hugo keeps his guns there. That’s what you wanted right?” He spoke fast and looked at John, “Right?”

You turned to John.

“Pathetic, I hadn’t even done anything yet. Anyways It’s about a seven hour drive if we don’t get stopped.” More like a day with how things were going.

“Oh you’ll get stopped.” The man chuckled. “Once my boys tell everyone that bounty is going to double. Like a swarm of bugs. Baba Yaga and his psycho bitch…”

You jabbed the needle into his musculocutaneous nerve, making him scream. John had to hold on tighter as he jerked around. You would never tolerate anyone calling you that. Never had and never would.

“You can kill him now Jonathan.”

John nodded and though the man began to plead— he did tell you what you wanted to know!— your ex felt a bit of satisfaction hearing the man’s neck snap. He let go of the body and you watched it fall. Stupid fuck should’ve known he was going to die the second you walked into that place.

“Well we should get going. Normally it’s about seven hours but given how long it took to get here…. I’d say we’d be lucky to get there by tomorrow afternoon.” You turned once more to stare at your partner.

John agreed and you walked over to the dead waitress. You bent down and began rummaging through her pockets. Her death saddened you but she chose to fight, to try and kill the Baba Yaga but failed and you needed a car. When you felt her keys you tossed them to him.

You had enough driving for now. As you made your way outside you turned to say something to John; a classic mistake. He shoved you to the ground just in time to grab the arm of the man who swung a machete at you. Your head hit the concrete and your vision went blurry.

John had seen him the second you walked out. The man was able to slice through his suit and cut his side but you didn’t see. You were still on the concrete trying to figure out what the fuck just happened. The attacker was thrown to the ground and he shot him in the head.

You groaned and John came over to help you up. When you stood up you wobbled a bit and didn’t notice as you reached out to steady yourself on an object, that object was him. He tensed under your hand.

“Fuck you.” You spit at him as you walked towards the car.

A few seconds later John got into the driver's seat. He started the car and sat there for a moment before putting the car in drive. The first few minutes were silent as you rubbed the sore spot in your head and he thought about what to say. That was a good ‘wack’ on the ground but you didn’t pass out which was good. You sighed and he decided to break the silence.

“We should talk.”

John didn’t mean to tense up but he couldn’t help it. You’d never listen or believe him, he knew this. He’d like to try and talk to you, to explain himself. In fact you 're probably the only one still left on this Earth he felt like he could talk to for hours.

“No.” You continued to look out the window.

John called your name and you turned your head to look at him.

“Twenty years…”

“John shut up.” Your words were threatening, “I don’t want to hear your shit.”

John was not pleased and you could tell by the look on his face. You didn’t care though. The second he told you he wished he was with Helen and not you, you knew there was no point. Your want for closure would never happen. You wanted to smack yourself upside the head.

How could things ever be civil when you acted the way you did and he acted the way he did? You didn’t want to date him again but if you couldn’t even touch him without him being uncomfortable— and you had to touch him if he got hurt— how would things ever change?

John was miserable. He didn’t want to argue with you at a time like this, he didn’t want to argue with you at all! If he was alone he’d groan out loud. Why? He knew you and what you were like. To imagine that this whole ordeal would end with the two of you being best friends and reminiscing about the past was wishful thinking.

No, not wishful thinking but desperation. John could only rely on himself. He couldn’t trust almost anyone. Nobody was as good as him but one person and that person was you. Working with you was like having eyes on the back of his head. With you everything was possible. He was desperate and couldn’t give up yet.

“Twenty years is a long time to forget someone’s touch. I need time.”

Not to mention it’s been a couple months since someone touched him in a friendly way. Even you tried to beat his ass when he came to see you. Your stomach dropped as you got angrier. It wouldn’t have been twenty years if he left with you. You turned your body fully towards him.

“And whose fault is that…?”

“Yours.”

The two of you said at the same time. John heard your laugh of disbelief and braced himself for the inevitable argument.

“I think that’s the issue here, Jardani, you seemed to have forgotten why we haven’t talked in twenty years.” You pointed your finger at him, “you chose The High Table over me. How ironic.”

He breathed in through his nose.

“I didn’t. You up and left. I thought you would come back. You vanished.” His words were calm but you could tell by his body language he was upset.

Your hands clenched as you wanted to cry but you wouldn’t. Not this time, it would be humiliating. To see him sitting there all chill while you sobbed over something that happened twenty years ago? You did cry about it still but not right in front of him where you’d be trapped in a small space for hours.

“I was clear on my intentions.”

Clear? John thought to himself. About as clear as mud in his opinion. You’d say one thing and mean the other, then when he began to treat things with that mindset you’d get upset! The two of you’d ‘break up’ constantly. You’d argue, sleep in separate rooms for about a day or two before you were right back in each other's arms. That never happened with Helen.

John didn’t want to compare the two of you but he couldn’t help it. Helen had shown him what it was like to be in a happy and healthy relationship. Yet when he was with her he couldn’t help but think of you and now that you’re here he couldn’t stop thinking about her. His mind was in turmoil. He had to stop comparing the two of you.

“On that we disagree. But-“ you tried to talk but he continued on, “we need to work together. After all of this we can talk.”

You stayed silent because he was right. There was no way out now. It was better to be friends right now than enemies, even if you wanted to rip his head off. Though you’d rather rip your tongue out and throw it at him, you agreed.

“Fine.” You said with gritted teeth and went back to your window.

John let out the breath he didn’t realize he was holding. Finally, that was progress in his opinion. His shoulders even felt a little lighter too. He looked at you and gave you a small smirk but you were too busy mean mugging the window once more. His smirk became a small smile before his eyes went back to the road.

“Questions?” He asked you.

You couldn’t help but perk up from your brooding fest and give him a coy smile.

“You know I could never pass up playing questions. You first.”

John appeared to be thinking for a few seconds.

“How did you find out you were pregnant?” He wondered.

“I wouldn’t stop throwing up and I had convinced myself it was because of how upset I was. Then Algo threw a pregnancy test in front of me while I was on the couch.” You laughed, “I almost shit myself honestly. I considered an abortion but I’m not sure what made me change my mind still.”

John smiled at your story. He couldn’t imagine what he would have done if he was there. Abortion seemed like the most likely answer. Deep down though he knew he would’ve been ecstatic. Plus you had girls, he always wanted a daughter and you gave him two. He felt sad that he didn’t get to experience fatherhood, especially with the fact he had actual children.

Believe it or not, you regretted it but it couldn't be undone. You knew he would’ve been the biggest pushover when it came to them. You also knew he’d never sleep well ever again, just like you. Living the life you had, knowing everything you knew it was terrifying bringing two little babies into the world.

They didn’t leave your room until they were five. The first few nights they slept in their own room you didn’t sleep. You couldn’t. When they were older you did background checks on all their friends but only to see if any of their family members had ties. You didn’t really care about anything else. It was a stressful time for you overall.

With everything going on you were surprised you didn’t miscarry but you were glad you didn’t. You loved your girls more than anything. It sent fear running through your veins knowing you weren’t with them but you trusted Algorithm to keep them safe. You trusted her more than anyone.

“Okay my turn. Do you approve of the names I picked out?”

“Yes.” John nodded.

Had you brought those names to him all those years ago, he wouldn’t change a thing. That made you feel better

considering Tatyana hated her name. It shouldn’t make you feel so insecure but you couldn’t help it. You had put a lot of thought into their names.

“Did you ever date anyone else?” The man couldn’t help himself.

You stared at him. After the two of you broke up you never wanted to date again, ever. Without Jardani in your life you could one hundred percent admit you hated men. Plus no one could handle you and you were skeptical and suspicious of everyone. Long story short, no, you hadn’t but why would you admit that to him?

“I plead the fifth on that one.” You chuckled.

“Rules—“ John began to speak.

“I don’t care about rules and I know you certainly don’t either. I’m changing them, I’m allowed to plead the fifth on this one.” Your ruling was final.

John looked over at you. You seemed pretty nervous. Had you never found anyone? It wouldn’t surprise him but it saddened him a little bit. He had no clue though you could even have a significant other right now. If you did, you were very good at hiding them… He had to ask.

“Are you seeing anyone currently?” His face went bright red at his words.

“Christ John! Why do you wanna know about my dating life? Seems like you’re going to ask me out.” You were flabbergasted.

John shook his head no.

“N-No I…” He didn’t know what to say.

There was no other explanation besides that it was his own personal curiosity. John looked like a fool. You wanted to laugh. He could always be so awkward. Cool, calm and collected when he needed to be but sometimes he was too easy to fluster. You smirked and basked in his misery for a few more seconds.

“No, I’m not.”

John refused to look you in your eyes. You were having fun and if he wasn’t so damn embarrassed he’d be happy you were laughing. He wished it would’ve been at something he said though and not him himself. Your hand came up as you rubbed your chin in thought.

You watched John shift, feeling uncomfortable under your gaze. How could you stop messing with him now? It was your favorite thing to do and he knew that too. Your ex kept his eyes glued to the road and you wondered if he was trying to picture you not there. An evil giggle left you.

“Did you cry over me?” You asked.

“I plead the fifth.”

That was a yes. You snorted and that appeared to be the end of your little game. Still, you couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. Twenty years was a long time to forget someone’s touch, he’ll have to get used to it eventually. The silence for once was comfortable.

You watched as you left the small town and the buildings began to bleed into trees and greenery. A camping trip sounded fun, maybe everyone could go camping when all of this was done. Depending on how your talk after this mission went, maybe even John could come.

Kat and Darya would love to mess with him, especially when they found out just how easy it was. Until then you had a good idea on how to help John learn your touch again.

“John?” You called his name.

He grunted to let you know he heard you.

“I’m going to put my hand on your arm and you will burn it into your memory.”

You didn’t give John time to answer even if he didn’t want you to touch him you didn’t care. You poked his bicep and then laid your hand down. This time he didn’t tense up and the two of you sat like that for an hour. He couldn’t help but feel like everything was starting to look up.

#john wick fanfic #john wick x reader #john wick x you

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one-abuse-survivor · 6 months

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i feel kinda shitty rn because i was almost convinced my dad had. like. stopped? being an abusive asshole to me? i told myself that he did it because he was so stressed and upset bc of stuff happening and that now it was over even though i know he goes through stages where he seems fine and then abruptly turns into an asshole. i was telling myself it was over and it was going to be weird that i had a period in my life where my dad abused me but now it was over and i could just lowkey hate him for it but it was over.

but then, of course, because i'm a dumbass, the other day, my dad started making fun of me for literally being a cripple? (i am crippled, to be clear, he was just making fun of me for how i walk and being slow and using a cane and how it makes him have to wait for me to get out of the way, which inconveniences him or whatever.) and i was feeling so bad that day that i got pissed at him and then i got in trouble for telling him that making fun of my disabilities isn't okay. (because that's petty somehow ._. )

and now he's avoiding me bc he knows he was an asshole and didn't apologize and he doesn't want to do that. and im just so done. like. i used to think i couldn't call him abusive bc we were all in such a stressful situation and he was just dealing with it like a dickhead but we're out of it now, almost 2 years, and he's still on/off treating me like shit, avoiding me so he doesn't have to apologize, and then trying to come back and chat like nothing happened. i feel like im going insane or maybe im just stupid for letting him do this to me. im just barely an adult but still an adult, i should know what to do in this situation right? but my family just says 'forgive him' and i don't know what else to do when im stuck living with him. :/

Hi there, nonnie.

I'm really sorry this happened to you. You were starting to feel that you were safe around him and he turned around and abused you again. That's awful beyond words, and sounds so scary and confusing. I don't think you're a dumbass for believing the abuse was over. I think downplaying what happened and believing it wouldn't happen again might have been a coping mechanism/survival strategy, because you can't exactly process his abuse while still living with him, so your mind might have resorted to just hoping for the best so you could keep going.

Good job standing up for yourself when he made those ableist comments! And I'm sorry he didn't budge and painted you as petty for that. Any good parent would be proud of their kids when they stand up for themselves, even against their own parents when they say something insensitive.

You're not stupid for struggling, nonnie. Being an adult doesn't automatically mean you should know how to handle being abused. For one, the abuse-victim relationship has been established between you since you were a minor. That's not a dynamic you can just snap out of. Even as adults, victims of child and teen abuse can very easily fall back into that dynamic, even if it's been years or decades since they got out. In my case, whenever I run into my mother, I still fall back into survival mode, and I'm in my mid-twenties. And, until I was able to move out of her house at 20, I kept living in survival mode constantly in her house. Being 19 wasn't any different than being 16 when it came to living in that house. I was exactly the same amount of traumatised and helpless until the moment that I left.

And, moreover, there are many adults who become victims of abuse in adulthood, for example within the context of romantic relationships, workplace relationships, or friendships. Being an abuse victim isn't a minor-only thing. Sure, it's not the exact same experience, but adults are definitely not immune to abuse. So, no, nonnie, you shouldn't know what to do in this situation. The vast majority of people of all ages wouldn't know how to escape from an abusive relationship if they found themselves in one.

It's horrible that your family isn't supporting you and is telling you to forgive him. They're basically telling you you don't deserve boundaries, respect, or reparations when you're hurt, and you should just let others mistreat you without complaining. They're condoning and facilitating his abuse of you when they should be supporting you and confronting him instead. That's incredibly unfair, and you deserve so much better than that.

Sending a virtual hug ❤️

#Ask #Abuse #Abuse tw #Abusive father tw #Ableism tw #Verbal abuse tw #Gaslighting tw #abuse apologism

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covenscribe · 1 year

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Tag game: Show Us Your Comfort Characters

I was tagged by @btranwrites !

So this was actually super hard for me to fill out because I uh, don't really take comfort in characters as i rarely feel comforted??

Im sorry if thats super weird but my brain screams Run whenever I feel to comfortable. Mostly because my brain is like "Is this a comfort character or is this a piece of media I hid in when life was bad?"

That said here is a few under the cut besides star trek

That kid from The Pagemaster. Because i was Obsessed with this movie as a kid. I tore through reading so many books as a kid hoping I would get pulled into The World of Fiction. Still waiting :(

Dragonheart's Drago, Dragon Heart and Flight of Dragons are probably why i adore dragons so much. Dragonheart though has the best death song I have ever heard in a film and still makes me cry.

Okay teen years, I got called Hulk a lot because I had anger issue, or more accurately i would get pissed from being bullied and the teachers only cared that I was the one being loud telling people to fuck off. The only Bruce Banner I liked in the mcu was in the first Avengers movie and then oh boy did i hate him in ultron and stopped watching mcu.

Back to the media I actually watched in my teen years lol

Inuyasha is a fun time. Often ridiculous and it's been forever since I watched it but I loved it. I do need to read the manga though.

Fullmetal Alchemist is incredible, Edward Elric is 100% a comfort character for me. I love both animes but Brotherhood is the better story. Of course the manga is top tier.

And then canada stopped having anime on tv for awhile. I kid you not. And being that my area was stuck with only dial up as an option until my twenties I just stopped watching tv lol

I'm tagging: @calicojackofficial @athena-anna-rose @nicola-writes and anyone else who would like to fill these out.

#I need to make a list of people who like to be tagged in these

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paulinasevastjanova · 1 year

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Hello people,

I have been trying to get to the point of my life, when I will feel; finally comfortable with myself, family and career. As a child, I have always wanted to be a writer, but the problem was in my ambitions. I didn’t want to be just the writer, I want to be the best writer. Im much better writer than I was year ago and I am ready to write till the end of my life, because it’s my passion, way of life, career and way to earn money.

As girl, who has been born and grow up in Poland; the chance to become a good writer was less than zero. Why? Because polish people have many good writers; it’s easy to write in polish for polish people and books are still expensive in my home country. So anyway, my parents will never allow me to be, who I want to be.

Good for me I’m away from people, who will tell me no, so I am after thirty; and in this ages I shouldn’t even be bothered with my parents way. In the end of the day I have decided to leave Poland in the age of twenty one, and I have found myself again in Scotland, with my lovely daughter. Got divorced on the way of persuading dreams of writing books.

Two years ago I have finally started to write book to see how it is to write the book. As thinking about writing big piece of words, it’s a bit different to start doing it. I know it’s very logical. I didn’t want to disappoint myself. All people around me get pretty focus on my goals, helping me and giving me advice. Which most of the time pissed me off, but I understand that I was too much bother to them. Firstly, I didn’t want to listen to them, second I have thought that my book is more important than anything other, which probably will go to broken relationship with father of my child.

In the meantime I have split with my second husband. Leaving me now with decision on moving my books forward. I wish to publish them, but I have no idea where to start.

Plus I need someone to tell me Inka, yes please write more, we love your work. As I feel a bit too touchy with myself and making things to forever perfection, which starts to make the same friend angry again, as I have started to hide books again.

I would love to ask people help to make further steps and sell it, earn from my art as my just not good in sale, and I’m really good writer, who can write in two languages. Thank you so much.

Inka Janova

youtube

#newwritersclub #newwriterscommunity #please help #female writers #author #Youtube

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pulsedemons · 21 days

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real question, looking for advice if anyone's got any, asking for jobs advice. been unemployed for over a year now . (not straight thru, had a few lucky months at a bowling alley)

under a readmore for dashboard courtesy. it got long and yeah im pissed about the situation. bitching here and there, especially near the end

&rbs are off, if you have an answer please put it in the replies <3 . please read the whole thing before that though

what's a good way to consistently make at least enough money to help around my house with small bills and groceries (a hundred, two hundred a week maybe?), when im stuck walking and biking everywhere, &my handmedown laptop will threaten to blow up if i try to run anything too powerful

if you suggest me something that sounds like some kind of a scam i will delete it though

& nowhere's hiring around me (i live surrounded by a bunch of schools, they like to hire as many freshman to college aged part timers as possible out here) and when they ARE & ive applied, i get emails back saying someone else had better qualifications or something.

the yardwork, babysitting/dogsitting etc etc scene in my area is dominated by the kids in my area, too. everyone's already got someone doing that stuff, i checked. figure it's because people never pay kids much, i imagine it's the same with the companies around here

and when somehow i do land an interview i make sure i smell nice look nice i sit up straight. etc. i talk as clearly & confidently as possible, got a good firm handshake. and i still manage to flub it.

i'll call twice a week at minimum asking to talk to a manager, to follow up with my interview and get told they'll call me back & i get ghosted. i call em back again and it's always the same shit

trying to sell my art, trying to make myself marketable has always made me queasy, &besides being supremely burnt out right now, i don't have an ounce of artistic consistency in my body. i am NOT in control of how it comes out looking. i considered commissions and like. i'll do it, if anyone's interested. but i'm worried they wouldn't go well

like im gonna keep hunting !!!!!! im not giving up my local search, im not. super fit. im willing to bike around 5miles at this point, even in the TX summer, even at risk of injury. im sick to death of being broke and having nowhere to go and nothing to do.

i don't have anybody "irl" to talk to, either, no friends in my immediate area to ask about this.

no close friends in my immediate area at all, actually. i can count the people i was in school with growing up on one hand. and everyone's moved away to other states besides my girlfriend, & she lives 30mins away & has her own job & shit going on. can't ask her to drive me around all the time

it's all starting to feel hopeless. like, i haven't given up completely, im not JUST complaining about it. i'm still working on finding something

& im lucky enough to have a mom that isn't mad at me or anything. i'm lucky she loves me enough to have put up with this with me for so long. i'm lucky enough to not be life-or-death levels of desperate

(which is why i won't make a donation post unless it's important)

but she doesn't have any advice for me, either. she has hundreds of facebook connections in her industry.

sometimes shit's tight, sometime's the fridge is bare & we apply to food stamps, the lights turn off & my aunts, or one of her friends helps us out. but she keeps a roof over our heads. & she's always got ten to twenty people putting her name in, when she's out of work

but i don't have that. &im hanging onto my last thread here for dear life

#vent post #<- more or less just for blacklist #delete later #maybe . i don't know. i don't like complaining about my personal shit online too much #& if i had anywhere else to go with this. i swear to god i would #long post #it's long enough on desktop so on mobile it will probably be abysmal

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devourblood · 3 months

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i'm well aware that it's not good to blame everything on your past even if your past was just absolutely horrible like at some point you have to be like shit okay yeah that happened and it sucks but how do we make things better from here on out I KNOW THIS i get it im aware of it

but what wouldn't i give to meet my uncle and aunt again and beat them to a pulp for doing unspeakable things to me as a little kid like i know most people go through shit like this sometimes even worse but i just. it's not fucking fair i did not do ANYTHING my only crime was being an impressionable and scared child. i did not deserve this and it pisses me off to no end that they're just out there living - albeit miserably - but they're alive. they don't have the right to feel hopeful for the future or have any kind of goodwill enacted towards them. who does all that to a fucking CHILD.

honestly this includes my parents too even if they did not want this for me at all. it's THEIR fucking choices that made me this way and i'm sorry but no amount of remorse or even love is going to change that. they're very good to me now -- i won't lie and say that they aren't -- but they left me as a child every time i needed them the most. none of their gifts and nice things count for shit now when i'm already fucking damaged as a person and can't navigate my own feelings and emotions and can't work properly.

sometimes i wish i could actually just go to my uncle and aunt's house wherever the fuck they live and. yknow. like my life already feels like it's over anyway, what's one more thing.

i can't talk to anybody about these things because who the fuck would get it. who would even want to listen for that long. i've been complaining about he same things for my almost twenty years of being alive. i know i'm hung up and can't move i know i'm pathetic. but they made me this way and it's fucked up that they get to get away with it. it's not fair that i'm still left to suffer after everything.

they put me through all sorts of religious bullshit and took me to the most agonising temple darshans and put me through so much discomfort in the name of god while they were doing all of this to me. all this tells me is that god doesn't fucking exist because i havent even gotten a SMALL helping hand through any of my struggles for so fucking long i can't speak to people i can't exist i can't breathe i can't live and i CANT FUCKING DIE. i do not CARE i hope when i die i get to strangle god and rip out every organ in its body while it just watches in agony and doesn't do shit because what is your fucking problem

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soundwavefucker69 · 3 years

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Everyone's a coward so I'll say it.

Togashi's biggest crime was making Knov a hot asshole and then making him ugly before his redemption was complete. Like I get the themes man but you should have at least left the Marie Antoinette hair.

#shrooms is talking #im STILL mad #it's been TWENTY YEARS and im still pissed #let him be a hot anime man with WHITE HAIR #we never get bitches with white hair and glasses it's always BLACK #bullshit #hxh

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My Vet Tech Journey.

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I Hate Advertising

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YARRU