#it's a crackfic don't @ me

[theresthesnitch]

not me looking at AO3 tags and thinking it would be fun to write a fic based on that

#today's candidate: #magical healing cock #crackfic but taken seriously #sirius black deserves to have a healing cock #cures remus of all his post-moon ouchies #they try for a while to see if they can cure his lycanthropy #james hears about it and needs sirius to heal his headache #(did james even have a headache or...) #news spreads from there #sirius's magical dick #don't challenge me or i'll have to actuall write it

[cursedchildofchaos]

Read At Your Own Risk

His expression remains unmoving, but I can see behind his glasses into his soulless eyes. There is fear there. I know because behind my glasses on my own deadpan face…I fear, too.

“Don’t be scared, Pikachu Man. The T-Rex won’t hurt us. No, he can’t hurt us. We can always stand our ground against his dinoing. He can’t make us dino,” I reassure.

“But just how are we to stop him? I’m not the real Pikachu. I don’t have electric powers. I’m just a cosplayer and not even a good one,” Pikachu Man replies.

“This is how…” I begin as I draw my sword. “Or did you forget that I’m the Sword Lady?” I smile.

“How could I?” he grins at me. “But you can’t. I don’t want you fighting him alone!”

“I have to! I won’t let him keep forcing people into his cult! He already got the Frog! Who will be next? The Emocean Person? Us?!”

“Sword Lady, please, don’t do this. I-I-I love you!” he says as he grabs my arm.

We share a moment of intense eye contact…I lean in and passionately kiss his yellow mask lips. I pull away, noticing his red blush, but that’s always there.  I rest my hand against his chest.

“I love you, too, Pikachu Man...But that’s why I have to do this!” I shove him down and run.

I run towards Dino Academy Headquarters. I’m so close. I hear a twig snap. Oh, no…he’s seen me, hasn’t he?

I turn, awaiting my doom. If he’s seen me, I’m too late. But it’s not him!

“Pikachu Man! Go! You can’t be here! How did you catch up to me?!”

We look at each other for a moment…it’s not necessary to answer how he caught up to me…I’m not in my prime anymore.

“I can still fight,” I growl at him.

“I know…but two heADs are better than one…we can use the element of surprise. I will distract him and you can attack,” Pikachu Man says.

“That’s not a bad idea. Knock on the door and lead him to the cliffside. Once you get there, hold very still, he won’t be able to see you. Leave the rest to me.”

Pikachu Man goes and knocks on the door as I crouch down in the bushes nearby. 

The T-Rex answers.

“Hey, you have tiny arms and a big head!” Pikachu Man taunts him and runs. 

The T-Rex storms after him. I follow, close behind, but hidden.

The T-Rex loses sight of Pikachu Man. We’ve come to the cliff’s edge. 

That’s when I attack. With a sword to his butt, I manage to knock the T-Rex over the side of the cliff and into the raging river below filled with sharp rocks.

We’ve done it! We won!

I rush towards Pikachu Man, who has been standing very still under a tree nearby. I toss my sword to the side as he grabs me in his arms. He twirls me around. I’m free! I don’t have to be Sword Lady anymore! I can go back to being Gun and Cat Lady! Or better yet, I can be Mrs. Pikachu Man!

#... #don't ask me why i did this #pikachu man #sword lady #learn how to dino #tumblr ads #pikachu man x sword lady #shipping #ships #crackfic #tumblr ad fanfic #wholesome? #weird #this was too funny to resist okay #pov fic

[fortune-maiden]

I found a fic I wrote for sicktember last year that's.... actually pretty funny and I kind of want to post it now xD

#don't mind me having a moment #i got bored writing straight sickfics at one point so a number of them turned into crackfics instead #good times #i think i never posted this one because it was short but... 500 words is a respectable length! xD

[powertaco]

Treezus Deadwood comes to Remnant...

And nothing will be the same. Prepare the couch...

https://archiveofourown.org/works/46867429/chapters/118055935

Thanks to @breadworth​ for dis sweet art...

#rwby #bumbleby #death's whiterose #whiterose #plus young maria #silent knight #jailbirds #prob #cinwin #in chapter 2 or 3 #crackfic #but hey #the show gave me canon deaging #don't expect me not to use it #if crwby weren't cowards they'd make maria young

[negativepeanuthoarder]

I feel like I as an author need to know my place in The Fandom Ecosystem and that's as the b-team. Fics u read while waiting for JanetBaby99 or Thethirdmanthethird or Selvish to post.

#oh and a crackfic writer that too #I'm not upset about this I like being indie. but sometimes It kind of hurts when other authors get a ton of attention and I don't #but also I'm just being jealous so. there's that. and generally the other authors in this fandom have higher quality longer works #like 6-7k instead of my measly 2k and also their works are closer to proper RPF and not my fantasy AUs #but like at the same time it hurts my feeling a little to never have my works on those “fic recommendations” lists or the announcement post #getting more then 7 reblogs. NOT THAT I'M COMPLAINING SEVEN REBLOGS IS EXCELLENT AND I LOVE EVERYONE WHO DOES #but I guess I get jealous because I feel ignored? #Idk maybe I'd make more author friends if I posted on twt? Leyton said TWT is better for spreading fics around but it also scares the LIVIN #shit out of me. I don't want Dream/Sapnap/George seeing my stuff that's weird. But at the same time I want to be friends with the other coo #multiship authors sometimes. I mean I KNOW my fics are lower quality then theirs but. but I still liked making them and I like sharing them #whatever this post is getting really long and is mostly me whining si I'm going to tag it as a vent and move on lmao #vent

[camgoloud]

just wrote an absolute fucking BANGER of a summary for an absolute fucking banger of a fic concept. if i ever finish this wip. you will see. you will all see

#kind of forgot about this one for a couple months and just opened it back up tonight and it turns out i'm actually a hilarious person #the me of last spring knew what she was fucking talking about! #the great thing about crackfic is that it's SO much fun and i don't tend to overthink it as much as i do anything else so i'm making it #my goal to have this finished and posted soon #though. this particular crackfic does actually for Certain Reasons require some amount of High-Level Thought so. :) #caseyposting

[vermillioncrown]

omfg this is the first time since undergrad that i woke up to finish a thing in the morning... and did it

#who that? ain't me #academic jerky #gonna sleep more and wake up to keep journal writing #fanfic related thoughts: maybe after chs 8-10 of bil i will switch back to finishing dbd ch 20 #i don't wanna stray too far into pure crackfic vibes #i had the best dream of buying sneakers before i woke up <- probably tangentially related to bil #debating whether or not to include shipping in bil. bc like. it's kinda my funtime fic rn and i don't write shippy stuff #and it might be fun to explore #or it can be just a tumblr bonus #idk #going back to bed bye

[therantingsage]

Actually no I have more complex thoughts about the furry thing

Like....Sylvie does epithet therapy right? That’s his specialty. And Mera could really use it. Like, so bad. She really needs therapy and her issues are entirely the fault of her epithet. But she and Sylvie have no in-canon reason to be on friendly terms so like it definitely wouldn’t happen.......but they’re both furries?? Is that not the most hilarious possible starting point for them to get to friendlier terms??? Imagine if the reason Mera got therapy was because she was a furry. That’s literally peak comedy and it’s entirely possible as an in-canon reason for it to happen

Also, Ramsey. Two-loween established that he’s good at drawing muscle, right? Beefton is like 80% muscle. Sylvie is a doctor so he’s already got that suspiciously-wealthy furry energy from that, so he’d probably be one of the guys in the community that can’t draw but commissions just about everyone. And as mentioned, muscle seems to be one of Ramsey’s strong suits. If they used the same website there’s no way Sylvie wouldn’t have commissioned him a few times. Which is just funny to me because other than that they have no reason to have any idea who the other is. Can you imagine Ramsey seeing Beefton in the wild and having an existential crisis because he’s drawn that bull on multiple occasions and like?? Real?? Real Beef? Since when?? And then they introduce each other and now Sylvie has Two(2) friends instead of just one

Sorry I just have thoughts about this stuff

#Epithet Erased #Genuinely mad that I can make cases for this stuff #I don't even really consider myself a furry! But this is too funny not to talk about! #This is the kinda stuff I wish there were fics about #Don't test me I WILL make a fic where Sylvie and Mera do the spiderman pointing meme at a furry convention #I feel like this is crack but it's just canon?? Like if I wrote about it it would make sense as a crackfic #But like??? Canon????? It's genuinely just canon information?? #Initially on my chart I'd swapped Percy and Zora but like #Percy hangs out with Ramsey and Zora calls a crayon a color stick #So Percy would know by proxy and Zora probably doesn't #Genuinely mad that this show has so many blorbos #I'm obsessed with every single character you guys don't get it!! #Ramsey and Percy mostly #And Molly #And if I keep listing them I'll just name every character rip

[seekerstone]

i’m gonna hit 60k in nano tomorrow woa... crazy what you can achieve when you write 10k in a day and then also keep writing 1.7k+ for the following week

#the moon speaks #turns out if you write words then you have words written. that you can reread at your leisure. crazy #will i learn from this and keep writing daily once december hits? only time will tell #ALSO is there a support group for people who prefer writing aus and canon divergence stuff over the canon story #it's not even that i don't like the canon story or that it needs a radical rework it's just. very angsty. #which is intentional! and good story telling also! #but not as fun to write as dumb little crackfics and if it's not fun then i don't want to write it. that's my main flaw i think #all that good advice abt ''if you don't enjoy writing it people won't enjoy reading it'' just DOESN'T APPLY TO ME #i have multiple sources who say the awful bad boring action scenes are gripping. they're just the WORST to write #ANYWAY IT'S NOT MY PROBLEM ANY MORE HAHA I DID MY 50K NOW I'M FREE #even febslash though i love it is going to go out the window the moment i think of another maximum silliness plot

[cursedchildofchaos]

Again, read at your own risk!

The brisk air makes the hair on my arms stand up. I fiddle with the zipper of my jacket. My hands fumble. With an exasperated sigh, I give up. My pocket watch tics. I take it out of the jacket to see; she's very, very, very late.

I turn to leave, but my eyes land upon a bloodied figure. Her eyes are tired. Her smile is worn, almost nonexistent…like the Mona Lisa.

But there is one big difference between this woman who stands before me and the Mona Lisa. Mona Lisa doesn't have a sword. Even so, she might as well be the Mona Lisa to me. Hell, she might as well be Venus herself. 

I feel my lips quirk up, betraying me and my rage.

"You're late," I try to say, menacingly.

"You don't mind. You never really do," she retorts. "Besides, aren't I worth it?"

I avert my gaze with a "Hmph."

"I'm sorry, but I had to fight against Tumblr Live. They're ruining the site," she explains.

"Tumblr Live?" I question, still not understanding it even though it's been on the news for weeks.

"Yeah, you have to make sure to turn it off. So, I did," she informs. 

That explains why her sword is stained red.

"Oh," I say with a nod. I still don't get it, but at this point, I'm too embarrassed to ask.

"Forgive me, OP?" she asks as she drops her sword and approaches me. 

My face heats up as she gets close. My heart pounds. She smells of potpourri. I melt. 

"Of course, I forgive you, my beautiful, Sword Lady. How could I not?" 

She takes my hand and drags me off, down the wintery streets. Every date with her feels like an adventure.

#did i write a reader x sword lady crackfic...maybe #crackfic #sword lady #also i am really confused about tumblr live #op x sword lady #i am a terrible horrible person with a terrible horrible sense of humor i am sorry #sorry not sorry #tw language #winter date fic #why am i like this i ask no one in particular #reader x character #please don't take this seriously #tw cursed #me and who #me and sword lady that's who XD #jk jk jk why am i doing this XD #tumblr ad

[epickiya722]

I really just don't like seeing actual real-life issues in fanfiction. For my fanfiction is an escape from the real world. Be it from actual world events or home life. I actually want to cry from my ship breaking up or finally getting together. I want to laugh because of a fic being so wacky. I want to go "NOOOO" when there's a cliffhanger.

I don't want to be shaking my head because the fic has an anime character making racist remarks. I don't want to read a fic with cartoon characters going to protest about real wars. Hell, I don't want to see a fic touch on a shooting that has happen in my own city.

I don't see it a lot for me, it just doesn't pop up for me often. But when it does, I by pass it because nah, it's too much.

I don't want to click on a coffee shop AU and then see some fictional character bring up an actual real life issue going on in a country like it's easy casual conversation. I clicked on that coffee shop AU to read something cute and relax, not read a news report.

Yes, real life issues should be discussed, spread, be known and are serious topics that shouldn't be taken lightly. And because so, I don't like seeing it in a fanfiction.

#do i really have to see a favorite anime character call an oc a slur? #do i have to see a wacky cartoon character bring up an actual war? #this is why me the exclude options the back button and block are besties #there's just some things i don't want to see #IN FANFICTION #when i'm reading a crackfic i want a crackfic #don't bring up what's going on in a country in real life that is serious in the middle of it #no just no #just kiya's thoughts #fanfiction #fandom

[fortune-maiden]

on a side note the Individual Destinies fansong has a russian fandub and I am just trembling at how good He Xuan’s voice is in that >.<

#don't mind me having a moment #not all of the voices are that great admittedly #xie lian he xuan & mu qing are the obvious stand outs #he xuan's voice is so unexpectedly deep and I'm just. wow. I can't imagine anything else for him now. #just chills #(is this what makes me a beefleaf shipper? he xuan's gorgeous deep voice in a russian fandub??? xD) #(I always imagined him with a softer voice honestly. but deep! sexy! WHY NOT!) #(i do really wish i liked he xuan more than i do.... he's a good character! but fanon depictions just kind of ruined him for me *shrug*) #(though i do still think there is amazing untapped crackfic potential for him and one day I will tap into it!)

[thekoikitten]

I went to my notes app to write down fanfiction Ideas (pokemon fanfics (mostly executive (but some of them were of N (and the other executives))) and when I was looking through my other notes that contained every single one of my shitty unfinished fanfic in my phone's note app I found this

I don't even know why this made me laugh. Like, tf do you mean "very sentient"??? That doesn't even make sense??? You're either sentient or you're not??? And the next line is "Y/N is a girl" too. What was I going with this???

#DON'T LET YOUNGER ME COOK #(and yes i do know that it is a crackfic mocking the stereotypical Y/N but pls- #) #also my writing with other fics were terrible #lol #<---- the lol is a way to hide the pain #(and yes im making fun of my old fanfics that aren't that bad im coping okay?)

[90sbee]

me, waking up in the middle of the night, sweating: ....... leon kennedy x argentinian!fem!reader...... 10k...... self indulgent buenos aires mentions....... argentinian parties with latino music and local food........ dancing tango...... calling him a yanki/gringo....... making him ride the overcrowded subway and spend his us dollars on stupid shit.......taking him to the chinese neighbourhood the museums the obelisco the ateneo......... actually this is sounding way more like what i always plan to do in buenos aires and never do. wait a sec. lemme clear up my schedule. perhaps mid december?

#it would be a great crackfic tho. a great one. #not gonna lie and say i don't think abt this often bc yes i do but KDKDKD. #thoughts that would get me a lobotomy some decades ago i bet #boludeces y reclamos mios(? #bee's wips

[bitterkarella]

Midnight Pals: Shedding

[mysterious circle of robed figures] JK Rowling: hello children Rowling: i have terrible, bone-chilling newsss Rowling: did you know that india willoughby exisssstsss? Rowling: thiss makess me ssso mad

Rowling: i know you're all ussed to me being ssubtle Rowling: you know, talking about womensss ssafety and all that Rowling: but i'm done with that Rowling: now i enter endgame

Rowling: tonight my rage ssshall fuel my final transssformation Rowling: tonight i sshed my ssskin for the lassst time Rowling: gone will be the resspectable normie lib ssspotted patterning Rowling: henceforth i shall wear banded patterning [puts on arm band]

Rowling: now i sshed my ssskin and obsserve my transformation to full blood purity fascism Helen Joyce: but dark lord! it's too obvious! Joyce: what if the rubes notice? Rowling: just point to that old "wear whatever you want" post and pretend i meant it

Rowling: i'll be right back, gonna go shed a sskin Rowling: now before i leave one lasst directive Rowling: you lot don't do anything ssilly while i'm gone Rowling: you know, anything that would make our entire causse look dumb or anything Joyce: you can count on us, dark lord!

[Rowling exits] Joyce: so Joyce: anyone wanna hear this new fan fic i've been working on Jesse Singal: when does mommy get back

Joyce: so Joyce: so my story has draco/hermione otp, noncon, dubcon, cuckolding, underage, lemon, coffeeshop au, crackfic Kathleen Stock: noooo helen! don't read fanfic! don't you know fanfic turns you trans? Joyce: sorry its a risk i have to take Joyce: for science

Joyce: look, i'm going to scientifically prove that fanfiction turns you trans Joyce: luckily i'm built of stronger stuff Joyce: the rest of you just plug your ears Stock: what about you, helen? Joyce: lash me to the mast

Stock: i've been writing a fan fic too Stock: it's about the love between the Unknown, an evil choclatier who lives in the walls, and this mysteriously sexy lady oompa loompa who everybody loves who is named Stathleen Kock [permaberry, leaking juice, enjoyment, enemies to lovers]

Rowling: ok i'm back Helen Joyce: dark lord! how does it feel to shed your lib skin of plausible deniability to don your extremely online skin of blood purity? Rowling: i feel sstrong! powerful! like a new ssnake! Rowling: i feel like i can sssay Rowling: ALL THE SSSLURSS!!!

Rowling: tinktonk! cricklecrack! boofnoggin! i can sssay them all!!! Rowling: no now mudblood can ssstand in my way! Rowling: doess india willoughby still exissst? Joyce: yes dark lord! Rowling: [coiling in rage] the cheek!!!! the audacity!!!

Rowling: ugh, look at india willoughby, performing feminine joy! Rowling: womanhood isn't about joy! Rowling: true femininity is being miserable all the time, posting and also being banned from seeing your grandchildren

#midnight pals #the midnight society #midnight society #jk rowling #helen joyce #kathleen stock #jesse singal

[thegnomelord]

if you write a thing about the creaming the zussy i will kiss ur boots

The boots better be shining when you're done.

How To Cure Zombies 101

CW:NSFW MDNI, crackfic obv PiV sex, TLOU Clicker trans Ghost, Top Male Reader, established relationship, happy ending, dub-con because Simon consented before he got bit but reader is apprehensive, zombie sex (does it count as necro?) how does this work? idk porn logic. Don't ask me how this happened, i hope this doesn't become what my blog becomes known for.

When the Cordyceps spread across the planet and turned millions of people into shambling mushroom infested undead, the world ended.

When Simon got bitten. . . your world ended.

You still remember it like it had been yesterday; He came back bloody, an empty look in his eyes as he showed you the bite on his arm. Your hands shook as he wrapped them around the grip of the gun and aimed it at his head. You both ended up on the floor with you crying into his chest, unable to pull the trigger.

You remember the resigned look in his eyes when he had agreed to let you do whatever you needed to him to cure him, but both of you knew there was no way, what made you immune to the fungus was as mysterious to the rest of the world as it was for you. His lips had been burning hot when he laid a soft kiss on your forehead, the last sense of warmth you've felt since the docs took him to where they kept the infected for study, your heart leaving with him.

And now?

Now the scientists that have been prodding you like a lab rat since Simon got bitten nearly a year ago say they have a way to bring his mind back, to get Simon back.

And the way to do it?

"So let me get this straight?" You begin, your voice tense, your body even tenser. "You want me to fuck the corpse of my lover? And that will cure him?"

That. You're not sure how the eggheads arrived to this conclusion, frankly all of their scientific jargons had flown over your head. All you understood was that the man you had fallen since the first time you met him could be brought back.

You sincerely hope you won't make some type of super fungus through this.

Words can't describe what you feel as you look at Simon's (is it even Simon?) bound body writhing on the gyno chair, naked and bare to you. You doubt you even know what you feel, hope and fear simultaneously curling in your stomach— You hadn't had the courage to look at him ever since the scientists took him away; The harsh laboratory lights make it easy to see the mycelium filling his veins beneath the ashy pale skin, mushroom caps growing beneath his pecs and across all other scars he has. Red and yellow mushrooms have eaten away his nose and spread out to follow the contours of his face, growing in a way that makes the mushroom caps blend together into a skull shape.

Your heart aches when you see his eyes haven't been eaten away yet, the once deep brown turned milky white and staring lifelessly past you, thrashing about in the bindings, rotten teeth gnawing on the ball gag in his mouth, small hisses and malformed muffled clicks echoing through the room.

You try to look down and you stop at his stomach, forcing yourself to breathe in and out slowly because your heart is beating so fast it feels like you'll have a panic attack. You have no idea if this will work and doing this to Simon only to find out it's as useless as all your previous attempts to cure him. . . you're sure it would break you. Closing your eyes and counting to ten you will yourself to focus, your eyes opening slowly and following the trail of little mushroom caps down to his groin.

It's not what you expected., but it's. . . a lot; Mushroom caps have replaced the lips of his cunt, similar to the hard growths on his head but these look thinner and longer, almost like flower petals framing his cunt, bright red at the corners and getting progressively lighter as it nears his hole. A sort of morbid curiosity compels you to reach out brushing your fingertips against the caps. They're surprisingly softer than you had expected, smooth and slick with some kind of slime. You can't help but notice how a longer stalked mushroom grows from what had been his clit.

You jerk your hand back when a second brush of your fingers makes his body to jerk back and attempt to fight against the restraints, more angry clicks vibrating his throat.

But you also notice a kind of… sweet scent in the air and it's coming from him. Cautiously you brush against the caps again, slowly dipping your fingers under to touch the gills underneath. You keep your hand where it is when he thrashes again, but you're certain that smell is stronger now, and you catch the glimpse of clear viscous slick slowly leak from his hole.

Carefully you push a finger into his hole in an attempt to stretch him out. Logically you know that he probably doesn't feel it, but it feels wrong to just stick your cock in him; He's cold. You know he's dead but you had held out some hope that he would be warmer, that there would be some signs of life despite how stupid that sounds.

He's dry right now, but more of that clear fluid seeps around your fingers and lubes the way as you experimentally push your finger all the way up to the last knuckle, and you felt his muscles flutter around you, clenching down as if trying to draw you in deeper. His head continued to thrash around, no change in the feral behavior, but you still try to be gentle, pushing one then two fingers in and slowly scissoring him open.

You pull your fingers out when his hole has relaxed enough to let you easily slide your fingers in and out, and he's produced enough slick to completely drench your hand. You try to look at him as you press your cock against his fluttering hole, but the sight of his milky eyes almost makes you soft on the spot so you screw your eyes closed and slowly slide in.

Despite how cold and wet his cunt is, you haven't felt anyone's touch, even your own, since he got infected, and a part of you feels disgusted at how a bit of pleasure traces up your spine. He continues to hiss and click as you bottom out, his hips bucking wildly you have to press them down. You set a slower pace than you're used to, keeping your thrusts even and consistent, afraid to tear anything but your fear is seemingly misplaced. He's so much wetter than he'd ever get before he got infected, slick wetly squelching as you bottom out over and over again, clicks and snarls accompanying every move you make.

You're ashamed to say you don't last long. Fuck, is he tight you've been ignoring your body for so long that when you accidentally brush against the stalk growing from his clit and his cunt suddenly tightens up like a vice you cum on the spot, your hips doing little minute twitches as you empty so much of your cum in his cunt that your balls hurt. You pull out just as slowly, both of your mixed fluids leaking out and almost getting caught by the soft mushrooms framing his hole.

You muster up the courage to look him in the eyes, and your heart breaks when his lifeless eyes blindly stare back at you.

You feel like a fool when the first time doesn't work, he's still just a body pupated by a fungus. And you feel like an even bigger fool when you agree to do this a second time.

But the third time. . .

You don't know if it's just wishful thinking but he seems more. . . alert. His head always follows you when you approach him but now his milky eyes almost seem to be looking at your face instead of staring straight through you. He's strangely still on the chair, teeth gnawing on the ball gag but he doesn't try to get out of the restraints.

He doesn't screech when you gently caress the soft outer mushroom caps framing his cunt, instead his chest vibrates with more deep clicks. Nor does he start to wildly writhe on the chair when you slowly sink a finger into his cunt, finding it's already wet with slick. If anything he almost seems to chase(more like stumble) after the sensation, his hips doing small little movements to push your finger deeper into him.

Emboldened by childish hope you do something you hadn't before and reach with your other hand to slowly trace the long stalk of the clitshroom (not a term you coined), before rubbing the base of the cap like you would your own cock.

You nearly jump out of your skin when the gentle pressure of your fingers makes him buck into your hands and let out an ear-piercing screech that the gag has trouble muffling. You pull your hands away and that worsens the problem, the shrieking turning into literal chest rumbling snarls as Simon starts to struggle against the bindings.

Panic rushing down your system you put your hands were they were, gently stroking the 2 inch long mushroom growing from his clit. His hips buck up to chase after your hand, the snarls reverting back into shrieks, but as you stroke him longer they gradually die down to low pitched clicks and whistles. You're stumped; the clicks sound a lot like a cat's puff, his hole fluttering and clenching around your fingers as you slowly push them inside.

He's warmer now, not quite how he was before, but not cold as a corpse either. You know that you've gone completely mad by the fact he starts to gyrate his hips— grinding down just as you get knuckles deep so your fingers can brush against the sensitive spots inside him — makes your mind think that it's a bit of your Simon coming back.

You shake your head and pull your hands away, taking hold of his trembling thighs. You're greeted with another deep snarl but he quiets down immediately when you start to slowly push into him. He feels even tighter now, and you watch how his head falls back on the headrest, a long series of low clicks and whistles squirming past the gag.

His hips move to meet your slow thrusts, tight warm walls squeezing down every time you attempt to pull out just like he used to do. And that thought has your body increasing the pace automatically, your balls slapping against his ass, every sharp thrust hitting something spongy inside him and drawing out a sharp click, the rough pace leaving you panting.

Mindlessly you look up, too caught up in the moment remembering how Simon loved eye contact to remember the situation you're in.

He's looking straight at you.

You halt mid thrust, the low hiss he lets out falling on deaf ears as you tilt your head to the side. You're not insane, his eyes follow you. They're still milky, but they don't look through you. He's looking at you.

Another rough clicking sound leaves him and he thrusts his hips down against yours with enough strength to bruise, almost impatient. Despite how stupid it is you reach out and quickly unbuckle the gag with trembling fingers. "Si?" You say, unable to hide the hope in your voice. "Are you there?" You lean over him, looking hopefully into his eyes. "Do you remember me?"

His jaw moves like he's munching on a survivor, but all that leaves his mouth are more clicks and rough grunts.

Fuck. You are a fool.

A sob tears through your chest before you can stop it, ducking your head down to lay it on his chest. You're unable to keep the fresh tears from falling on him, watering the damned mushrooms that had taken him from you. You can't stop the sobs from coming, your back bowed and shoulders shaking as you cry just as much as the day you first lost him.

His chest vibrates with another long series of clicks and whistles, just pouring salt on the gaping would in your chest.

Your name rights through the room.

It's scratchy, rough, almost incomprehensible to your ears, but it's your name.

You look up so quickly you almost snap his neck. "Simon?" You whisper, staying in him even as you feel yourself soften. "Are you in there?" You slowly reach out to hold his face, careful not to cut your hands on the sharp mushroom caps along his cheeks.

He looks at you back, jaw moving still, but he doesn't try to bite the flesh of your palms despite your hands being right there. "Ckckck-" He clicks, pupils going from pinpricks to blown out, "Ckckrkck- Mo- ckck-ve." He manages, a thrust of his hips accompanying the order.

Your heart leaps to your throat and you can do nothing but follow it, sliding one hand down to dig your nails into his thigh, looming over him as you pull out until only the head is inside and them slam into him that there's an audible clap of skin on skin as you bottom out. A half shriek half click half "Yes!" escapes him as he throws his head back, slack jawed.

A whole range of noises escapes him as you hammer into him with all you've got, one hand remaining always on his face. You can feel him getting hotter the longer you pound into him, body shaking as each thrust nails his sensitive spot. He gets progressively tighter and tighter as you fuck into him, and you let go of his thigh to carefully strike along the long shaft of the clitshroom.

He shrieks at the top of his lungs and his cunt clenches down on you like a vice, fluttering around you and gripping your cock like it doesn't want you to pull out. It pulls you into an orgasm,

"Simon?" You whisper, staying in him even as you feel yourself soften. He's too silent compared to how vocal he had been a few moments ago. "Are you in there?"

His head rolls a bit, peering at you through through his lashes, tongue moving heavily in his mouth and lips twitching up into a soft of barely-there grin. "Cckck- l- ckckc- love- ckrk-you -ckkckrkckck-"

Taglist: @dead-end-stuff

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