#it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever

[bo0zey]

when gerard way said “when i grow up i want to be nothing at all” i felt those words in my gdamn soul bro

#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes #i feel so hopeless and useless and stupid so so so stupid i’ll never be smart enough like the other nurses #i can’t fucking think im too slow i don’t know anything #it’s the emergency room and god for fucking bid i have an emergent patient i don’t know wtf to do ever #i don’t know how to initiate protocols or contact interdisciplinary or put in complex orders i don’t know anything i’m so useless #everyone thinks i’m stupid i’ve been on orientation for like 2 months know and i’m still the same useless stupid novice airhead new grad #i just get so frazzled i feel like everyone expects so much out of me and i have to be perfect to meet their standards #but im stupid im subpar im not good enough like them like #ever if they’ve been nurses for years and i’ve only been working as one for legit 2 months it’s just i still don’t know how to do anything #it’s like i can’t think i don’t do things how they want me to do them and then i look stupid im the attending doctor thinks i’m so dumb but #she wouldn’t even hear me out like i know you want both fluids running i know it’s important but he only has.1 IV and they aren’t compatible #we’re trying to start a second IV and he had difficult veins like why are you trying to tell me i’m stupid i know why you ordered it thatway #it’s like nobody gets my dumbass brain but that’s not their fault bc they can think clearly and convey their thoughts to people without #sounding like a fucking dumbass i have no critical thinking skills im just useless i hate this so much i don’t want to be here it sucks #i never wanted to be a nurse i never wanted to be anything i was 12 years old hoping i’d be dead by 18 #and now i’m 23 and i’m still fucking here but it’s clear i shouldn’t be i don’t fit in im not fit for society #i should be euthanized like an unwanted dog that’s been at the shelter for too long that’s exactly what i am #20min later still crying can’t stop being a fucking crybaby pitypartying myself i’m the worst oh my god grow the fuck up already #why is everything so difficult for me why can’t i just fit in literally everyone knows i don’t belong #i’m the dumbest most useless new grad orientee and EVERYONE knows it even management it’s so embarrassing #i’m so embarrassed to be alive and take up space that could be filled by someone so much better smarter prepared someone meant to be there #i don’t want this i don’t want any of this i never wanted to grow up im just a kid in my head i’m so pathetic #i wish i was smart and good at something i wish people looked at me and thought o wow i respect her bc she’s also a good nurse #nobody likes me i’m such a burden to everyone the doctors my preceptors other nurses who deserve to be there #i’m leaking snot everywhere today wasn’t even that bad but i think it’s all just hitting me now how helpless i am #i’m so tired of myself and waking up and making a fool of myself every shift fucking stupid loser i hate myself i try so hard and it’s not #it’s not enough it’s never enough im not enough im an imposter i’ll never be as good as the other nurses even tho i’m really really trying #i seriously don’t want to do this anymore i don’t want to be here i can’t do it everyone knows i’m not cut out for this they all talk shit #ramblings

[betweenthepages]

The Cure: Chapter 1

Summary: You get outed to your parents and it doesn’t go so well. But at least you have Jess Mariano.

Word count: 2370

⚠️Warnings⚠️: homophobia, homophobic violence

“Mom? Dad?” You called out, stepping into the silence of your home. You entered the living room and was met with the sight of both your parents seated on the couch. Your father’s gaze fixated on the floor with his hands clasped in front of him, lips drawn in a thin line. Your mother lifted her head in acknowledgment. The TV was off, no conversation being exchanged. Idleness hung in the atmosphere. “What’s going on?” You frowned. “Sit down, (Y/N).” Nervousness bubbled in your chest as you sat across from them. “Did I do something?” You asked, furrowing your brows.

Your dad’s eyes locked with yours. “Are you gay?” The question was completely unexpected. Your eyes widened in confusion. Sweat moistened your palms. “Am I- what?”

“Are. You. Gay. With that Mariano boy?” He gritted his teeth, his voice low to the point of growling. Your muscles tensed and you quickly debated coming clean or denying it. They wouldn’t be too pleased with the knowledge that you liked other boys, especially Jess. Heck you weren’t even allowed to be friends with him. You knew you couldn’t hide it forever. You were planning to let them know once you moved out and were no longer reliant on them. Perhaps deception would work, for now.

“No?” you put on your best act of confusion, “Where are you getting this from?” Your mother whipped her head towards you, eyes filled with a darkness that was completely unfamiliar. Your dad’s face reddened, fists clenched and visibly shaking. Fear clouded your senses. “What are these, then?” Your mother placed some pictures on the coffee table. Pictures of you and Jess. Holding hands and kissing. Your heart sunk to your stomach. “W-Where did you get these...?” Your voice was shaky from restraining tears. “They were left in our mailbox this morning, no envelope or name. How can you explain this (Y/N)?” Your mom scowled. Your throat went dry. Who would do this to you? Who hated you this much? Well, it didn’t matter who had done it, because there was no way to cover it up.

“It’s true, okay? I’m gay, I’ve been seeing Jess for-” You were cut off by a stinging pain on your cheek and a sharp sound echoing the room. Your father loomed over you, nostrils flaring and looking at you with pure hatred. You cowered in his shadow. “I did not raise a gay son! You ought to be ashamed of yourself! All those years of giving you a good life and a roof over your head for nothing! Disgraceful.” You whimpered as he fisted your hair painfully and reared your head back to look up at him. “You are not my son.” He spat. In quick seconds your body painfully collided with the coffee table, pain shooting up your abdomen. You barely had time to catch a breath before you were yanked up and slammed against the wall. Rough, calloused hands, pressing against your windpipe. You squirmed in an useless attempt to flee. Your chest tightened painfully. Your head felt light. You wanted Jess. He would hold you and protect you and take you away from this pain. Black spots dotted your vision and you thought ‘this is it. I’m going to die.’ Seconds before you passed out, the hands removed themselves and you collapsed on the floor, gasping for breath. You cherished the temporary relief of having oxygen in your lungs while it lasted. You were kicked down into a lying position, your father’s heel coming in contact with area that hit the table. Tears cascaded down your swollen cheeks as you curled into yourself. The blows kept coming. You just shut your eyes and took it, holding onto hope that it would end eventually. By the time your dad finally took his foot away, your body was at it’s breaking point. Every breath came with immense pain. Bruises, scrapes and cuts blemished your skin. “You’re going to get up,” your father spoke, “and get the fuck out of my house.” You briefly glanced to your mother standing in the corner, staring at you intently. Her expression was unreadable, but she voiced no protest. You were in no state to be able to pack your belongings. Hopefully you’d be able to return and collect them. Or maybe your parents would destroy them. Right now, it wasn’t your concern. Your dad left to the kitchen, probably to get a beer, and your mother followed suit. Mustering the last ounce of strength you had, you crawled to the front door. With every movement your muscles ached. Holding onto the wall for balance, you carefully rose to your feet. Only grabbing your phone and jacket, you exited onto the pitch black streets.

You limped in the direction of Luke’s Diner, but gave up after a block. You were physically incapable of covering the distance. You quickly dialled Jess’s number, tears blurring your vision. It rang once. Twice. Your heart hammered in your chest, your breathing grew heavy. You felt a panic attack oncoming and you needed to hear Jess’s voice. Please pick up, please pick up. “(Y/N)?” Jess said across the line, voice thick with sleep. “Jess...” you whimpered, words getting caught in your throat. “(Y/N) what’s up? It’s late.”

“I-I need you. I need help. It hurts, Jess.”

“What hurts? What happened?” He was awake now, and seemingly alarmed. “I need an ambulance,” you glanced at the street sign, “I’m on Peach Street. Call them and get here, p-please.” Staying conscious was becoming a struggle. “Okay, okay hold on I’ll make the call.” Jess quickly switched lines and you leaned against the wall, waiting. Watching the stars kept you occupied. You were about to close your eyes until the blaring of a siren approached. You could vaguely recognise a car following behind it. As it neared, you recognised it as Luke’s pick up truck. You couldn’t see Jess’s face, but knowing that he came provided some relief. Jess got to you before the paramedics did. Warm hands cupped your battered face and soft caresses ghosted your skin. . “(Y/N), god what happened?” You chuckled bitterly. “Mom and dad found out about us. I’ll explain later. It didn’t go so well though.” You clutched your side. Talking was painful. Jess was about to say something but the paramedics told him to back away so they could load you into a stretcher. “Sir? Sir try to stay awake please.” Said a female paramedic as your eyelids drooped. Jess was out of your vision, but you could make out his voice shouting over them, asking to come on the ambulance. Of course that privilege wouldn’t be extended to non-family. Luke told him to buckle up and he’ll drive them there. You were exhausted, and the pain in your body was unbearable. Your allowed your eyes to shut, darkness replacing the blinding ambulance lights.

Jess and Luke sat in the waiting room, anxiously awaiting news about your condition. Jess’s leg was shaking and he seemed distanced in his thoughts. He had told Luke on the way that this had something to do with your parents. He’s had his fair share of beatings from Liz’s boyfriends, but he was struck with disbelief knowing someone could cause this much damage to their own child. The doctor emerged. “How is he?” Luke asked. “He has 3 broken ribs, internal bleeding, several deep cuts, contusions and a dislocated jaw. But he’s no longer in critical condition. It’s good we got to him when we did, or it may have been too late.” Jess‘s eyes widened and his blood ran cold. Luke thanked the doctor and bid him goodbye, then focused his attention on his distressed nephew. “T-They almost killed him...” Jess whispered, eyes widened and watery. Luke sighed, pulling the boy into a side hug. In truth, he was just as worried as your boyfriend was. He was accepting your relationship and cared for you. Ever since you’d come into Jess’s life, his immature ways and short temper had ceased. His school attendance went up as well as his grades. The sarcastic remarks and witty insults weren’t going away anytime soon, but Luke knew there was a mutual love between him and his nephew. And he knew you meant the absolute world to Jess. “You heard the doctors. He’ll be okay. He’s strong.” He rubbed the teen’s shoulder in consolation.

Patients and visitors entered and exited the hospital doors while Luke and Jess sat in silence. The clock was about to strike 1am yet they were more awake than ever. Jess hadn’t particularly liked your parents previously, but now his hatred for them ran deep. Upon his first arrival to Stars Hollow, they had advised you to keep your distance because word of his troublemaking antics spread fast. But you with your sweet, kind soul was willing to give him a chance.

A nurse approached them. “(Y/N) (L/N) is awake. You can see him now.” Jess bounded to his feet, swiftly stepping to your room without waiting for Luke to follow. He paused abruptly at your door and took a breath. Your head turned at the sound of the door slowly creaking open. Jess stepped in, and a feeling of warmth evaded your body despite the chill of the hospital room. You shifted to make room for him on the bed. Without a word, he embraced you. Careful not to hurt you, he rested his head on your shoulder, and the cloth of the gown dampened. “Jess.” You cooed, rubbing his back. “I almost lost you...” he mumbled. “I-It’s okay. I’m not okay, but I will be. The hospital staff are doing their best.” You attempted a smile but it hurt your face. Jess pulled away with a sigh, calloused hand cupping your cheek. “I want to know what happened. Not now, if you don’t feel like it. When you’re ready.”

“Well, I got home and my mom showed these pictures someone took of us kissing. She said they were left in the mailbox by an anonymous. I told them that I’m gay and that we’re dating, and... yeah.” You averted your gaze to you and Jess’s intertwined hands, playing with his fingers. Jess furrowed his brows. “Why would anybody-” You cut him off. “I don’t care about that now Jess. It’s all so much, I’m gonna see a social worker and the police, I don’t know where I’m going to live, people are gonna talk about what happened. Plus I’m tired and everything’s sore.” You felt like crying again before Jess shushed you, carding his hands through your hair and kissing your cheek. “Hey hey, (Y/N) I’m sorry. Calm down.” He readjusted to a laying position and carefully guided you into laying down on top of him, using his toned chest as a pillow. “I love you. So much. We can figure everything out later, just get some sleep. It’s almost midnight.”

“I want you to stay and be there when I wake up.” You said. “Okay.” Jess smiled. There was a cough, you both turned to see Luke in the doorway. “Well, I’ll leave you guys alone and uh, Jess I’ll pick you up tomorrow morning.” He nodded, “Goodnight (Y/N), call me if you need anything.” You smiled at him and bid your goodbyes, before it was back to just you and your boyfriend. Jess leaned over to turn off the light. “I love you, Jess.” You said into the darkness. He responded with a long kiss to your forehead.

Jess woke up first. The hospital staff hadn’t arrived yet, so he wouldn’t get in trouble. He pressed light kisses on your forehead until your eyes fluttered open. “Morning.” He smirked. “Morning,” you grumbled, nuzzling into him. “What’s going on today?” He asked. “I explained the cause of my injuries to the doctor and now I’ve got to talk to the authorities. Then I’m seeing a social worker and doing some paperwork.”

“Where you going to stay?” Jess asked softly.

“If my parents get arrested then I’ll probably get sent to a foster home.” You sighed. “Is that what you want?” Jess frowned. “No, not at all. I mean, no way I’m living with my parents again, but also idea the of going with strangers...” you trailed off, focusing on drawing shapes on his chest. “Move into the diner.” Jess said without no hesitation. “Jess you know I can’t-”

“Yes you can! Really (Y/N), we can talk to Luke about it.”

“Talk to me about what?” Luke stood in the doorway wearing a questioning expression. “Sorry, I was going to knock but I overheard my name.” He chuckled. “Can (Y/N) stay with us?” Jess asked. “Jess no-“

“Sure, I don’t see why not.” Luke shrugged. “I- what?” You turned to Luke in shock. “We can make that arrangement, if that’s what you want (Y/N). You’re at the diner most of the time anyways.” It was true. You always stayed over with Jess and had dates at the diner to keep your relationship discreet. “Well yes, but being a permanent occupant is completely different.” You frowned. “Hey kid, your parents are real shitty people. This is a hard time for you. I have a feeling you don’t want to end up in the foster care system, so this is one less problem to deal with.” He said.

Jess spoke up, “(Y/N), I’m okay with it, and Luke is okay with it. So why the hell not?” You felt like crying again. You practically pounced on Jess babbling a string of ‘thank you’s and peppering kisses on his face in between. He laughed heartily, rubbing your back. Luke observed with a tender smile. “Thank you Luke, really.”

“No problem kid.” He gently placed a hand on your shoulder, trying to seem as less threatening as possible. “Jess and I have to go, the staff are gonna be here any minute. But rest up okay?” You nodded. Jess really didn’t want to leave, you assured him visiting hours were long and regular. Eventually he pulled away and you shared one last kiss before he was out of sight.

#gilmore girls #bxb #jess mariano #male reader #jess mariano x male reader #jess mariano x reader #jess mariano x y/n #gilmore girls fanfiction #fanfic

[feistypaants-archived]

Between The Pipes [Chapter 28]

Rating: M Words: 2028 Pairing: Kristanna Summary: When a new owner takes over the Arendelle Ice Breakers, Kristoff isn’t sure about his future with the team. That is, until a PR nightmare throws the newest member of the media team, who also just so happens to be the daughter of the new owner, right into his arms. Kristoff and Anna can’t even stand the interviews they have to do together… how on earth are they going to fix this mess? Hockey!AU.

[Chapter Index]

Where To Read: [AO3]

Notes: hmmmmmm.....

thanks 2 @ahtohallan-calling and @awesomemaple for the sven and anna dancing to lizzo inspo lmao the true mvps.

Enjoy!

Kristoff almost fell over when Anna sprung herself forward to land on his back with her arms around his neck. It was mostly the surprise of it, but he managed to right them both before she even noticed his stumble. “Hi,” he laughed, shifting his bag of gear to his other shoulder as she slid down the expanse of his back. “You’re chipper this morning.”

“Well,” she grinned, sliding her hand into his and lacing their fingers together. “It’s a beautiful day!”

It was most decidedly not a beautiful day. It was cold and gloomy and snowing. And not even a pretty snow… just wet and harsh. But if Anna felt that way, then sure, he could roll with it. “That so?”

She had started swinging their hands together as they walked, her thumb tracing circles over his. “Mhmm,” was all she hummed, nodding slowly. 

It had been two weeks since the gala and she had spent almost every night at his house. It had been weird to fall asleep without her last night, but she had insisted on staying with her sister at her hotel. Apparently they needed some bonding time, and who was he to deny her that? But still, he already felt tension draining from his shoulders as she squeezed his hand and bumped his hip with her own while they walked and she talked about the bright side of the bad weather.

“I missed you,” he mumbled beneath her rambling, blushing bright when she stopped mid sentence to look up at him. 

A small hop-skip-jump brought her lips up to his cheek, and then she was smiling even brighter. “I missed you, too.” 

Kristoff coughed slightly, just to clear his throat, before shaking his head and trying to accept the small moment of vulnerability. “So, um…” He shrugged and kept his gaze forward. “Did you have fun with your sister?” He relaxed just slightly when she pressed her arm against his.

“Oh, yes.” She paused for a moment as she looked around. “I guess Elsa and Honey have been…” Anna practically giggled behind her hand. “You know.” A snort laugh and red tinged cheeks made him smile. “Talking.”

He could laugh at this shy, bashful Anna, so different from one he knew. Maybe it was because she was talking about her sister, but shit, he couldn’t help but wonder if it was how she talked about him, too. “Oh? Talking? Or… not talking.”

Anna whacked at his chest and laughed again, wrapping her hands around his bicep this time. “That’s my sister you’re talking about.”

“Sorry, sorry.”

A relaxed silence fell between them again as they continued down the corridor. Kristoff had spent the whole night thinking, and talking to Sven, and talking to his mother, and… He had decided that he wanted to do something special for Anna. He wanted to take her somewhere fancy, wine and dine her, and, fuck, as cheesy as it was, wanted to officially ask her out.

They sat in limbo right now, unsure of where to proceed. Their feelings were on the table, but, at least for Kristoff, things still felt uncertain. Did she want him to fully figure himself out before they moved forward? Or was she willing to work with him? It was a lot to ask of someone, but she was the most patient and kind person he had ever met. 

If anyone would be able to help him, it was her.

Coach Mattias’ door slammed open as they stepped into the locker room. It startled Anna, who clenched his arm a little tighter as their eyes both snapped to the entrance. Warren emerged first, obviously irritated, followed by Mattias and…

“Papa!” Anna exclaimed, clearly taken aback. “I didn’t think you were coming to the skate…”

His face was stern as he turned his attention to the two of them. Kristoff could swear there was something venomous in his eyes. “I wasn’t. But I was called for a meeting.”

Kristoff was going to let go of her, but he felt just a slight squeezing of her fingers. “Oh?”

“We’ll talk later.”

And then he left the locker room, leaving a dozen or so stressed out players in his wake. 

“Dude, what was that?” Kristoff’s eyes moved quickly to Warren and Anisimov, hunkered into a corner as Warren’s glare lingered just slightly too long on Anna. 

He met Kristoff’s gaze, clenched his jaw, and snapped his head back around to face his teammate. “Nothing. Don’t worry about it.”

This didn’t seem good.

—

Family skate had never been Kristoff’s favorite event. Sometimes he was able to fly his family out around Christmas and keep them in town long enough, but with his sister having a new baby and his dad needing to get someone trained to run the shop, they weren’t able to join him this year. But it was okay, because this year he had Anna, and she more than made up for all the years he just stuck awkwardly with Sven, Jelissa, and their siblings. 

She clearly had snuck in more practice since their initial learn-to-skate session, and was easily gliding over the ice - nothing fancy, but clearly comfortable on skates. Every once in a while a good song would come on, and she would speed up to catch Sven and Jelissa as they danced and sang and all-around made fools of themselves.

He fucking loved it.

One song in particular had Sven crouched and shaking his ass back and forth as Anna smacked at it, the lyrics rapping something about fit fat asses and needing tempo and so many other words he couldn’t understand. Kristoff would have been jealous if it were anyone else, but there was absolutely zero reason for it with the two of them. He even found himself skating closer as Anna sang something about boyfriends watching and made little finger hooks to urge him over.

He would never be able to express how open and free he felt when she was by his side.

“Okay, I’m tired,” she laughed, leaning on Kristoff’s shoulder. “Water break.”

Kristoff gestured for her to lead the way, but shivered slightly when her hands slid over his hips as she came to a stop behind him, one arm lifting to flick at the bobble on top of his toque. “Take me where I need to be!” she hollered, wrapping her arms around his waist.  

So, as was his nature when it came to Anna, he did the exact opposite.

Bending at the knees, and hearing her quick realization of what was happening, Kristoff took off, almost full sprint, with Anna laughing wildly behind him. “Stop stop stop!” But her laughter was louder than the protests, so he kept going, zig zagging out of other skaters while she yelled apologies behind them. 

“Kristoff!!”

He grabbed her hands with his own, holding on tight to her, as he whipped around a corner.

“Too fast for you?” 

“Not even close!” 

Finally, when he had worn himself out, too, Kristoff came to a gradual stop right at the door, offering Anna a hand to help her step off the ice. She was still laughing, her cheeks flushed with exhilaration, and he couldn’t stop himself from leaning forward and cupping her jaw in his palms. One more sighing laugh came from her throat as she looked up at him with a crooked smile.

She was so fucking beautiful.

He kissed her, deep and slow, earning a round of wolf-whistling from the adults in the rink. He didn’t even care, because her hands were gripping his and her chest was arching into his and god damn it, did he need something fancy to tell her what he wanted? “Anna…” His breath was heavy as he pulled away, swallowing around the new lump in his throat. “Anna, I…”

Her eyes were full of wonder as she kept her gaze locked onto his, her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

“I… I really --”

“Anna.”

Her fathers’ stern voice cut through their thoughts and she jumped away as quickly as she could, turning to face the owner with her hands clasped together behind her back.

Of course.

“Hi, papa.” She waved her fingers at Kristoff from behind her back, urging him to head back out onto the ice. “What’s up?” 

Kristoff felt her fathers’ eyes locked onto him as he took a few glides backwards, giving them the privacy he thought she might be asking for. He wasn’t sure what was wrong, but he felt unsettled as he tried his best to turn his attention back to his friends instead of on Anna, following the owner back into Mattias’ office.

—

Almost an hour passed before Anna reemerged. 

Mr. Arne had come out after just twenty minutes, bid his farewells, and told them to give his daughter some privacy before heading out of the arena. Kristoff had pulled out his phone and texted her, not wanting to barge in on something she didn’t want him to bear witness to. 

Is everything okay baby?

yeah! yep!! i’ll be out soon!! Sorry!!

Are you sure? I can come back if you want.

no!!! it’s fine! just doing some quick paperwork!!

He wasn’t sure he believed her, and the excess of exclamation points certainly didn’t help, but she wasn’t pleading for him to come and comfort her and he had to trust that she would ask if she had wanted him to. But when she came back out to the ice, he noticed her red nose and puffy cheeks, and immediately skated over to her. “Anna…?” 

A smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. “Yes?”

He scanned over her face, noting the softly twitching corner of her mouth and flaring of her nostrils that he could guess signified she wanted him to drop it. So… he held out his hand to her and waggled his fingers in her direction. “Wanna keep skating?” The relief he saw drop in her shoulders made him tense in her place as she nodded and stepped back onto the ice. 

It all felt different then. She kept a firm grip on his fingers as they moved slowly around the rink, no more enthusiasm in her small strides, and definitely no more dancing.

He had to try again. “Baby…” his voice was low, just above a whisper, as he pressed a kiss against her hairline.

“I’m fine. Please.” She kept her gaze firmly forward, until they reached the end of their second lap. She tugged on his arm just slightly, tilting her body towards the exit. “I think…” she started, biting her bottom lip. “I think that I really want to get a burger.”

Kristoff almost laughed. “Yeah, yeah, of course. Let’s go. We can talk. Let me just grab my --”

But then she was red faced and she was hollering at Sven and Jelissa, waving them over and inviting them along. 

Anna didn’t want to be alone with him right now. 

Normally it wouldn’t bother him, but when it felt like she was going to some great length to avoid telling him what was bothering her, he could feel irritation prickling at his spine. Kristoff sighed and trailed behind the others as they made their way back to the locker room to grab their things. 

Soon after, they were all climbing into Sven’s Escalade, making their way to his favorite burger joint. He said it was a hole in the wall and you had to know someone to know about it. Kristoff couldn’t help but tease him, saying knowing him clearly hadn’t done them any favors.

Anna’s hollow laugh felt like a knife in his stomach.

He knew she’d tell him when she was ready, but there was a burning in the back of his throat that begged him to pester her until she caved, until she laid it all out on the table. But that was his father. That was something he would do. That wasn’t Kristoff. He wasn’t going to do that.

Instead, he reached over, clasped her hand in his, and gave her a reassuring squeeze.

At least this time her smile was a little more genuine.

#btpfic #feistypantswrites

[dominic-cruz]

paging dr. pearce-cruz.

TAGGING: @dominic-cruz & @ajpearce

LOCATION: The Hospital.

TIME FRAME: Late July 16th into July 17th. 

NOTES: After Dominic gets mugged, he finds out that he and AJ are still married. 

TRIGGERS: Mentions of: stabbing, blood loss, surgery, etc. Nothing’s descriptive, but there are slight mentions. 

AJ PEARCE 

It was a boring day at the hospital for AJ. She was just lamenting about how she hated doing charts when her Emergency attending comes walking by. Since it was such a slow day in cardio, Emerg asked for her services and so suddenly a boring day turned into yet another hellish day on Earth. She was so glad to be done with Emerge, but now here she is. Trying to fix people up without throttling them. Things were relatively normal until a new call came in, a stab victim, multiple wounds, apparently lost a lot of blood. Well, if she had any plans of going over to Ben's she's going to have to delay them by god knows how long.

DOMINIC CRUZ 

It had been a long day at work and Dominic was ready to go home and sleep until noon, preferably, but he'd stayed at the restaurant longer than he needed to just to help clean up. It was just who he was; he hated leaving extra work for others when he could easily help out. When they were done, he bid them a good night and made his way to his car. Perhaps he would've seen the two men had he not been so tired, but one thing led to the next and suddenly he was on the ground, losing blood along with his wallet. When they were gone, even though he was bleeding, he unlocked his car and pressed the emergency button on his dashboard. Someone would get there eventually, right? Things like this didn't happen in Sander's, and as he sat there against his car, making sure to nurse his wound in a way he'd learned from AJ, he couldn't help but think of her. He was always gonna think of her.

AJ PEARCE 

As the ambulance rolled in, AJ stood out by the bay waiting with her interns and her fellow residents. This was about as exciting as it gets in this town. Rarely anybody gets stabbed, compared to the gruesome things she got to see back in Columbia, this was easy peasy. When the ambulance finally stopped and the paramedics (she noted one of the brunette that kept flirting with her was on duty, Andrea, she thinks that's her name) rolled the gurney out and she rushed forward. As Andrea started on the info spill, she finally took a good look at the person lying on the gurney. 

Well shit. This cannot be happening. Of all the people in this shit hole that gets stabbed, it had to be Dominic. Pushing away the immediate wave of panic and worry and annoyance, she helped pushed the gurney into the ER bay and quickly secured first aid and asked a nurse to book an OR. When the attending came around and asked her to scrub in, for the first time in history, she had to say no. Of fucking course, Dominic had to ruin her chance of scrubbing into a surgery. "I can't. I can't operate on him." When her attending frowned and gave her a slight annoyed look, she sighed and bit out. "He's my husband." Nodding in understanding, her attending named another resident and off they went. AJ looked down at her bloodied hands and just stared. How did this day get so fucked up?

DOMINIC CRUZ 

Dominic didn't remember much as he slowly woke up, groaning as he tried to sit up and immediately realizing he wasn't in his own bed and that he was, in fact, in a hospital bed. He closed his eyes, trying to think back on what happened the night before. He'd been at work, yes, and then he'd helped out after closing... right? Or had that been another day? Whatever had happened to him couldn't have happened at work, though. He was in pain, his abdomen was killing him, and even though he'd had some small accidents at work, he'd never ended up at the hospital. The last time he was at the hospital, he'd... Fuck. In a fresh rush of panic, he looked down at his leg, which seemed... perfectly fine. Or as fine as it would ever be. 

And then he saw a figure next to him. There was no way he wouldn't know who that was. Or perhaps he was just seeing things he wanted to see, especially since he knew she worked there. It was just the pain meds or whatever they'd injected him with that was playing mind tricks. It wasn't her. Hell, AJ probably didn't even know or care if he was in the hospital. It wasn't her. It couldn't be her. It was just a trick. She didn't care about him. 

"What happened?" Dominic asked, his voice foreign to his own ears as he spoke to the nurse who'd just walked in. "How'd I get here?"

AJ PEARCE 

After Dominic was sent into surgery, AJ left to go fill out paperworks for him. She didn't know if he had insurance, but given how he's legally still her husband, hers should cover him. If not, she'll just get him to pay her back when he's awake. She kept herself busy while Dominic is in the OR, she ran between gurneys and finished so much paper work that if she wasn't so stupidly worried, she would've been impressed with herself. When Dominic finally got out of surgery and was moved to a room, she stayed even though her shift was over and she was supposed to be meeting Ben like four hours ago. Fuck, remembering that she was supposed to meet Ben, she quickly fired off a few texts to him and Marissa, claiming that there's an emergency at the hospital and she won't be home. 

Watching Dominic sleep was weird. It's been so long since she's done it, but the more she looks at him, the more he looks like the same man she fell in love with all those years ago. Maybe he didn't really change all that much. Knowing he won't be waking up anytime soon, she brought some charts into the room and settled in the uncomfortable chair next to Dominic's bed. 

Unbeknownst to her, AJ had fallen asleep on the side of the bed sometime last night. When Dominic woke up, he woke up to the sight of AJ slumped over the edge of the bed, resting her head on her folded arms and an older nurse coming in to change his dressing. "Well, good morning to you, mister Cruz." The nurse said with a warm smile. "How are you feeling?"

DOMINIC CRUZ 

"Like shit." Dominic answered the nurse and though he tried to smile, all he managed was a grimace and a weak groan. He placed his right hand on his abdomen, still unsure as to what had happened and how he'd ended up in the hospital. Dominic looked over at the sleeping figure next to him. She looked uncomfortable, slumped over and... he shook his head, glancing over at the nurse. He wanted to ask if he was just imagining things, but he figured he'd sound like a dumbass if he did. "Last time I felt like this I'd been tackled by 300 pound men. Feels different, though. Feels worse. And I'm high as fuck or else I wouldn't be seeing who I think I'm seeing sleeping over there." 

The nurse smiled at him, it seemed genuine to Dominic, so he figured he wasn't seeing things and she was actually there. "Your wife hasn't left your side since you came in." 

"Ex wife." He corrected her, though the nurse shook her head, still smiling at him. Not only was he seeing things, he was hearing things now too. The drugs they'd given him here were apparently stronger than the ones they gave him in DC. "Excuse me? She's my what now?"

AJ PEARCE 

"Dr. Pearce is your wife, no? She's been sitting there since you got out of surgery." The nurse tilted her head in confusion. Out of all the residents, the one with the least amount gossip was AJ Pearce, nobody knew much about her other than that she was from New York. "If you two were divorced, she didn't mention it at all. If anything, she was very insistent on not assisting on your surgery due to the fact that you two were married." The older nurse said as she went about freshening up Dominic. "And I'm very sure you're not high since you're feeling the pain." She chuckled. 

The sound of the nurse's chuckle was what woke AJ up. Snapping up from her slumped position, she looked around in alert. Her eyes snapped right to Dominic to make sure he wasn't dying, and when she saw him staring at her, she narrowed her eyes at him. "What? How much pain are you in right now? 1 to 10, 10 being completely incapable of moving."

DOMINIC CRUZ 

"I mean, she..." Dominic stopped before he even started saying anything, the nurse's words becoming too much as he furrowed his brows. She signed the papers, right? This was just some ploy so she wouldn't assist on the surgery because... she... but it didn't make any sense. She didn't care, so there wouldn't be conflict of interest if she helped out during his surgery. He'd be just another patient. "We..." he started talking again, but his mind was playing tricks on him or something. "I... don't know if she ever signed the papers." Dominic slowly realized, since he'd told his lawyer he didn't want to know anything about the divorce anymore; he'd told his lawyer to take care of everything. He figured since his lawyer hadn't said anything, everything had gone smoothly. Maybe his lawyer hadn't said anything because the divorce had never become official. "We're still married?"

When AJ spoke, all he could do was look at her. He ignored her question, although his pain was probably an 8 at the moment, coughing a few times as the words got caught in his throat. "Are we still married?"

AJ PEARCE 

AJ had no idea what Dominic and the nurse was talking about before she woke up, but judging from Dominic's question and the swift departure of that nosy nurse, it had to do with her marital status. She's kept this secret for so long, well, she's forgotten about being married for a good few years. She was perfectly fine with Dominic thinking they were already divorced, it made life simpler. She was free to do whatever she wanted without worrying about Dominic's feelings -- not that she worries, because she clearly doesn't. 

Staring wordlessly at Dominic, AJ took a deep breath after a few minutes before looking away. "....Yes, we are. Legally anyways."

DOMINIC CRUZ 

This was too much. Not only was he in excruciating pain and still confused as to how he ended up in the hospital, but he was being told that he and AJ were still married. They were still husband and wife. "We're still... we're still married?" It wasn't a bad thing, not at all, it was just surprising. She'd been adamant about the fact that they were nothing to each other, so he figured it was because they were nothing. That wasn't the case, though. In the eyes of God and the law, they were still married. "Holy shit..." Dominic let out a deep breath, sitting back down against the pillow and closing his eyes as he tried to calm down. He was in pain, sure, but this was too much to handle right now. "We're still married." Dominic repeated, jaw clenching, angry that he didn't know until now but simultaneously relieved that they were. "Hold on. Can we talk about it when I'm not... here. Why am I here?" He paused, eyes closed though a smile pulled at his lips. "You were worried about me."

AJ PEARCE 

AJ cleared her throat and ignored the giant elephant in the room. "You were attacked last night, the police will here to get your statement later. Do you remember anything at all?" She stood up from her seated position next to the bed and walked over the end of the bed. "You were stabbed, idiot. I think anyone would worry about their ex-husband if they were stabbed." Frowning at his idiocy, of course he would be cracking jokes when the timing is wrong. He's one of the dumbest people she happens to know after all.

DOMINIC CRUZ 

Dominic furrowed his brows, trying to think of what had happened last night, but everything seemed like a blur. "Not really. Guess I was attacked after work or something. I don't remember anything after I got outta work." And it was true. Though he wanted to know how he'd ended up in the hospital - stabbed, apparently - he couldn't, for the life of him, remember a damn thing. "Husband." Dominic corrected her, similarly to how he'd corrected the nurse earlier. "You were worried about me." he repeated, the smile growing. Dominic turned to look at her, "thank you. Means a lot that you stayed. So... thank you."

AJ PEARCE 

AJ felt like a blush creeping onto her cheeks but she bit down hard on her teeth. So maybe she did worry about Dominic and stayed up all night making sure he was still breathing but that doesn't mean anything. It doesn't. "You should let your friends know that you're in the hospital. I should get back to work anyways." She said in a rush.

DOMINIC CRUZ

"Why don't you stay a little bit?" Dominic said quietly, a soft suggestion that showed where his head was at and how he hoped she would stay. They didn't need to talk, they didn't need to do anything, but having her there would help him feel better after everything. "If the cops are gonna come, you should stay." He was so transparent, anything but subtle. "If they question me a little too much, you could tell them to fuck off or somethin'. No one's gonna fuck with you. We both know that." He paused for a second, thinking back on the conversation they'd had a couple of days ago while he was drunk. That seemed like so long ago, given the circumstances. "Stay."

AJ PEARCE 

AJ really really shouldn't stay. She's got no reason to stay. He's awake now and there are other medical staff who can take care of him just as well. He doesn't need her there -- not really anyways. But to hear him say 'stay' tugged at her heart string. It would be poetic justice if she walked out right now considering how he didn't stay for her. But she couldn't bring herself to really leave him, not when he's looking all pale and broken on the bed. "...Fine." She said reluctantly, slowly walking over back to the chair where she spent the night on. "You'll be fine, you know that right? It's just a flesh wound, you might get a cool scar later to show off but that's about it. You're fine."

DOMINIC CRUZ 

Although he could tell she was fighting some internal battle over this, AJ reluctantly agreed to stay. Dominic immediately smiled at her as she walked back to the chair where she'd stayed the night, making himself comfortable even though the pain in his abdomen made the simple task increasingly difficult. "It's all about the battle scars, right?" Slowly, he reached for her hand, expecting for her to pull away but when she didn't, he smiled to himself. He'd take it. It was a small victory, and he was sure she was staying mostly out of pity and not because she actually cared all that much, but he'd take it.

AJ PEARCE 

She had forgotten how often she would feel the need to roll her eyes around Dominic. Maybe he really didn't change all that much. AJ closed her eyes and tried very hard not to smile, because god, this ridiculous man is still so cute. "Some chicks dig it, some just thinks it's a shoddy job on the doctor's side, so guess you can take your chances." She said, letting her lips curl up into a smile. Looking down at their joint hands, her first instinct was to hold tight instead of pulling away, if Marissa learned about this, she would kill her. "Rest, you'll be doing it for the next week or so, so you might as well learn how to do it now." She said softly while looking into Dominic's eyes. "I'll be here."

DOMINIC CRUZ

Dominic allowed himself to look at her and smile to himself as he noticed every time she tried not to smile. He'd memorized her features long ago, all the tell tale signs of happiness or sadness, but especially the signs of when she thought he was somewhat amusing but didn't want to let him know. This was one of those times. He didn't say anything though, but he refused to look anywhere else but at her. Nothing mattered to him except for this. Though he had other things to worry about, like the fact that he'd been attacked last night, everything took a backseat to the fact that he and AJ were still married. "Thank you" he repeated again, though he wasn't sure what he was thanking her for anymore - for staying? For not signing the divorce papers? Whatever it was, all he could say was thank you.

#aj. #para ( aj. )

[backtobasicbellas]

amy x hope + “Why are you so jealous?”

word count: 2,269

//

In retrospect, Amy should have known this probably was never going to end well.

This being the fact she’s fake dating Hope in attempts to make Ryan jealous.

It happens in the bathroom at school one day. After a terribly awkward encounter with Ryan which leaves Amy absolutely flustered and muttering how stupid she is, Hope emerges from a stall with an amused smirk.

“That was painful to listen to,” Hope tells her. “I was just trying to pee in peace.”

Amy looks up from her self-deprecating muttering and somewhat freezes when she sees Hope. Her cheeks immediately begin to flush.

“Uh, you were...you were in there the whole time?”

“Yup,” Hope nods, popping the ‘p’ in her response. “Heard everything.”

Amy rolls her head back in embarrassment and frustration. “God, she probably thinks I’m such a freak.”

“Most likely.”

Amy gives her a helpless look.

Hope shrugs, still wearing her smirk.

“You know what would help?”

“What?”

“You actually dating someone and not spending every waking second with your neurotic wife.”

Amy opens her mouth, but there’s nothing that comes out. She’s offended by multiple parts of Hope’s last comment, and she isn’t quite sure where to begin. She barely even knows Hope, but she knows the girl is never one to hold back her thoughts for the sake of someone else.

“Molly’s not-” Amy cuts herself off, deciding that’s not the most important part of their discussion right now. “How am I supposed to date someone when I can barely talk to a girl I’m interested in?” 

It’s then that Hope’s eyes light up with mischief and she tilts her head in a menacing way.

“Who said you had to actually date someone?”

And that’s how it starts, after Hope practically corners Amy in the bathroom and concocts a plan to pretend to be Amy’s girlfriend. Amy thinks she’s crazy, but Hope is kind of scary and intriguing and beautiful all at the same time and really, she can get all the help she can get if she wants a girlfriend before she dies so, she goes through with it.

This is how they end up here, now, with Amy’s back against the lockers and Hope towering over her with one arm over head head and resting against the locker to keep her steady. Hope looks down at her with an easy smile on her face, one that might’ve seemed unnatural to anyone else, but to Amy she thinks it fits Hope well.

Amy’s getting used to this now; she’s getting used to how she and Hope take turns picking each other up in the mornings for school. She’s used to Hope hanging out on the hood of her car while waits for Amy to finish up whatever extracurricular she has that day, either reading or writing or sketching. She’s used to having Hope come over, listening to music or watching a movie or just spending hours talking while they lie on her bedroom floor.

Being with Hope is easy; she’s more than her harsh comments and intimidating beauty. Hope is smart and intricate and so much more complex than anyone else understands.

And this is the problem now, because Amy thinks she’s falling for Hope.

Despite her scary and somewhat bitchy nature, Hope goes out of her way always to make sure Amy’s comfortable with anything and everything. Whether it’s holding her hand, kissing her cheek or even kissing her in front of Ryan and other people - she always manages to make sure she’s not doing too much.

 (“You don’t have to ask if you can kiss me every time anymore,” Amy says shyly. “It’s cool.”

Hope looks at her with and tell her in a genuine voice, “Consent in important.”

Amy bites her lip to stop herself from smiling like an idiot, because that might’ve been the sweetest thing Hope’s ever said to her.)

Sometimes when they hold hands Hope’s thumb traces shapes on the back of Amy’s hand soothingly, softly. It makes Amy’s insides melt just a little every time.

And now, Hope is looking at her in the middle of this damn hallway like she’s the most interesting person on earth, and it just about drives Amy insane.

But this is all pretend. Hope is doing all these things because she should as a fake girlfriend.

(She’s a damn good one at that.)

Hope leans down and presses a kiss to Amy’s forehead before her other hand is coming up to rub soft circles on Amy’s lower back.

“Ryan just walked by,” Hope mumbles by her ear, giving her chills. 

“Oh,” Amy says, trying to keep her breathing even. “Thanks.”

Amy honestly can’t even tell if it’s working; she’s finding herself paying more attention to Hope and less to Ryan these days.

Apparently it is working though because Ryan is magically beginning to talk to Amy a lot more. It’s almost like any excuse she can, she talks to Amy. And quite honestly, Amy doesn’t even know what to do with all the attention. Between Hope playing a damn good fake girlfriend and Ryan suddenly picking up interest, Amy thinks she might pass out at any given minute.

“Dude, you’re like a total lesbian heart throb,” Molly tells her at lunch one day.

Amy snorts. “Yeah right. This thing with Hope isn’t even real, remember? We’re pretending.”

Molly hums like she knows something Amy doesn’t, but Amy doesn’t seem to notice.

“Ryan’s been talking to me a lot,” Amy says one day when they’re laying on Amy’s floor.

Hope is quiet for a moment before she replies, “I’ve noticed.”

Amy hums, a little too lost in thought to notice the shift in Hope’s tone.

“I think she wants to hang out soon,” she continues. “She was telling me about this cool spot she and her skater friends hangout at after school. She was saying that I should check it out some time.”

“Maybe you should,” Hope says, suddenly getting up. “I have to go.”

Amy frowns, checking her watch. Hope never leaves this early.

“Where are you going?”

Hope shrugs, not looking at her. “I have some stuff to catch up on.”

Amy sits up in confusion and watches as Hope grabs her keys and her backpack, slinging it over her shoulder without glancing once at Amy.

“I’ll see you tomorrow morning,” she says.

“Oh um, okay,” Amy answers dumbly. “Bye Hope.”

(And honestly, for as smart as Amy can be, she’s really stupid when it comes to girls.)

She and Ryan start hanging out at school, Amy guesses. It’s not like, they plan it or anything, but Ryan somehow happens to be around more often than not when Hope and Molly aren’t and it’s just, kind of nice to have another person to hang out with.

(Amy doesn’t realize that sometimes, Hope sees them.

She watches for a moment before she storms away, unhappy features settled on her face.)

She doesn’t think too much of it when Gigi approaches her after Ryan skates away to class.

“What are you doing?” Gigi demands, eyes wide.

“Uh,” Amy stutters, unsure how she feels about having Gigi up in her face. “I - uh, what?”

“You’re going to ruin it!” Gigi exclaims, throwing her hands up in the air as she takes a step back. “Why would you do that?”

Amy somewhat shrinks into herself as she says, “I don’t know what you’re talking about Gigi.”

Gigi leans in once again, but this time she whispers, “She’s more vulnerable than you think.”

Now Amy just furrows her eyebrows. “What?”

But the bell rings and suddenly Gigi is running off to what Amy hopes is her next class.

Amy can only sigh before she heads into her own class, where she knows she’ll find Hope.

She doesn’t notice how lately, Hope’s been a bit more affection and holds Amy’s hand a little longer.

She doesn’t notice the way Hope’s face lights up when she walks into a room.

So when one day, Hope’s the one that has to stay after school for one of her art projects, Amy doesn’t think twice about hanging out with Ryan in the parking lot and attempting to learn how to skateboard.

Amy has fallen twice and tripped three times, but she’s having fun and entertaining herself while she waits for Hope.

She misses the way Hope’s entire demeanor shifts when she walks out into the parking lot and sees how Amy is laughing and looking at Ryan.

“Amy,” she calls out in a sharp tone, making a beeline for her car.

Amy jolts at the sound of her voice, but recognizes it as Hope. She bids Ryan a goodbye - which gets a “later dude” in response - and walks over to Hope’s car, hopping in.

“How was your project?” she asks.

Hope turns on the car and replies shortly, “Fine.”

They don’t speak the whole way home, something that makes Amy uncomfortable. The music is louder than usual today and Hope seems to be gripping the steering wheel tightly. She keeps her eyes on the road and never once looks at Amy, and something feels off.

“Hope, are you mad at me?” Amy asks in a small voice.

“No.”

“Why aren’t you talking?”

“Because I don’t want to.”

Amy doesn’t think she’ll get much more out of Hope, so she sits back and takes the answers for what she can get.

When Hope pulls up to Amy’s house, she makes no move to stop the car. All she does is put her car in park and waits, one hand still on the steering wheel.

“..Are you not coming inside?” Amy asks. “I thought you wanted to do homework.”

“Not anymore.”

And Amy feels like she’s a very patient person, but Hope’s attitude since they got in the car is starting to bother her.

“If I did something you should just tell me.”

“You didn’t do anything,” Hope snaps. “Maybe I’m just not in the mood. Not everything’s about you, you know.”

Amy blinks, not expecting the attack from Hope.

“If you’re upset we should just talk about it,” Amy suggests.

“Don’t you have Ryan to talk to now?”

The way Hope sneers takes Amy by surprise. She hasn’t seen this side of Hope in a long time, not since she was too afraid to even approach the other girl. 

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“Ugh God nothing,” Hope groans with a roll of her eyes.

“I don’t believe you,” Amy tells her.

“Well, too bad.”

“Hope.”

“Amy.”

“We’re talking about this.”

“No we’re not.”

“Hope,” Amy repeats.

“Fuck Amy!” Hope hisses, shutting off her car and getting out before slamming the door.

Amy watches in the mirror as Hope makes her way to the back of the car, leaning against it. She waits for a few seconds before she also follows suit - minus the slamming - and stands in front of Hope, arms crossed.

“What is your problem?”

“Jesus, why are we even still doing this?” Hope asks, exasperated. “Why is this still going on? Ryan’s all over you, you got what you wanted. She’s always hanging around you every second I’m not there. She always trying to impress you with her dumb skater tricks and honestly Amy, she’s not smart enough for you.”

As Hope rattles on every possible way Ryan has Amy’s attention, Amy notices the way Hope gets worked up. Something clicks in her head, something that Molly had teasingly joked about the other day.

(“God she’s sending daggers to Ryan,” Molly muttered when Hope goes to throw away her tray. “It’s like she’s jealous or something.”

“She’s just that good,” Amy had shrugged.)

“Why are you so jealous?” Amy asks, quirking an eyebrow.

Hope makes a face. “What?”

“You’re jealous,” Amy tells her.

“No I’m not,” Hope scoffs.

“Yes you are, or else you wouldn’t be so worked up on Ryan talking to me like we planned.”

Hope’s jaw sets and she won’t look directly at Amy. Amy thinks she’s onto something here.

“This was just supposed to be an act,” Amy tells her.

Hope’s working her jaw and now is pointedly not looking at Amy.

“It was,” she agrees.

“But I don’t think it is anymore,” Amy continues.

Hope shrugs. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Amy takes a step towards her and says, “Well, it’s not for me anymore.”

Only then does Hope snap her head back to look at Amy, giving her a hard look.

“What?”

“I thought it was going to be great when I finally got Ryan to notice me,” Amy shrugs. “but it wasn’t. I...already had what I needed.”

Hope just watches, trying to read Amy like she always does. Amy takes that as a sign to continue.

“Being with you is easy. I like who I am when I’m with you. I like when you hold my hand and kiss me. I don’t want to pretend it’s not real anymore.”

She bites her lip, waiting with baited breath for Hope’s response. For a fleeting moment, she feels like she’s gotten it all wrong, that Hope was upset for another reason and was just taking it out on her. She opens her mouth to take it all back when Hope is reaching out and tugging her closer by the front of her jacket.

“I like being with you,” Hope says softly, her eyes flittering down and back up. “And I like you.”

Amy smiles in relief. “Cool.”

Hope snorts. “God you’re such a loser.”

“You like this loser,” Amy reminds her.

Hope grins. “Yeah, I do.”

#amy x hope #minific #love when i say i write drabbles and it ends up being a Big Mess #listen fake dating aus are my weakness #also doing this now instead of answering the asks w the fic bc it wont work w keep reading

[psychadelickate]

NCIS LA - Callen: Time Heals...

Imagine: Time Heals Word Count: 1119 Fandom: NCIS Los Angeles x House MD Pairing: Callen x Reader Characters: House, Reader, Callen Rating: Teen Gif: Not Mine Requested: @intheendyouwillalwayskneel  Prompt: Hi! Would you write a Callen x reader where he thinks she died on the job and he is devastated? Could you do a crossover with House 😉🤔 somehow? I'm sorry if this is too much.

You’re seated in the cafeteria with House and Wilson, the latter rambling on about his disastrous date the evening before. House rolls his eyes, as he pops another fry into his mouth.  “Well, we did warn you about her,” you tell him as you place your coffee mug onto the coaster and wink at House. He smiles at you in return.  Wilson catches the silent conversation and shrugs his shoulders.  “I don’t know why I talk to you two about this,” he laments.  “Yeah, next time find Cameron and Chase make it a girl’s night where you can eat ice-cream and braid each other’s hair,” House offers and you can’t help the laughter that escapes you. “You know, with friends like you two,” Wilson points and you and House, “who needs real enemies?” “Well, if you choose to be stupid, you can’t fault us for calling you out on it,” House adds. Wilson is about to respond to that, but a call for you via the PA system stops him.

“Paging Dr (Y/L/N), to ER immediately,” comes the voice. You pick up your coffee cup, bid your two friends adios and start making your way to the ER. Without prompting, House follows you to the Emergency room, his cane thumping on the vinyl flooring. You The ER is a flutter of activity, more so than usual. There are four beds currently occupied though two of them don’t look too serious. The third has succumbed to their injuries. The fourth… You cannot see the fourth bed from where you’re standing, and for some reason you’re reluctant to go in. You’re about to turn about and leave when Dr Cuddy comes out from behind the curtain. Seeing you with House, she doesn’t waste a minute, telling you to go in there and stitch the patient up, making sure to leave no scars. You’re not sure what’s going on with House and her but you don’t want to ask either. That was one of the unspoken yet agreed on conditions of your friendship. You didn’t ask about personal relationships, if the other wasn’t comfortable with it and it suited the two of you fine.  “Satan has spoken,” House says in a deep voice, “we must obey.” You try, with immense difficulty, not to grin at the man, but find that you can’t and so you head to the end of the room. You pull the curtain back slightly and step into the cubicle, introducing yourself as you do, though you don’t look up at the patient. The patient chart is on the end of the bed and you look at what needs to be done, asking a few questions as you read.  It’s only when you don’t get any answers that you look up at the patient. The coffee cup falls from your grasp, and you take a step back, bumping into House. “Something wrong?” House asks, but you find you cannot answer him. You simply turn on your heel and walk out, not saying word. 

It’s an hour later when you hear the door open. You’d wondered how long it would take House to give away your location. You don’t turn around, even though you know House would never ask you upfront, what was going on. But it’s not House’s voice that breaks the silence.  “(Y/N),” he says your name so reverently, that your body automatically turns to face him. He hasn’t changed in five years,  dressed in his usual jeans and T-shirt, the only thing missing is the smile normally adorning his expression.  “Callen,” you whisper, though you stop yourself from taking a step toward him.  He comes to a stop two feet away from you, close enough for you to touch him, and it takes a lot of self-restraint for you not to launch yourself into his arms. Well that, and the look of betrayal on his face. You should’ve left him some kind of clue, but at the time you were too afraid to lose him. Looking at him now though, it wouldn’t have made a difference. “How?” just one word. “Granger. He said it was the only way to you keep safe. If I left, they could not get to you via me. One less thing for them to taunt you with,” you whisper. “He got all the paperwork done and here I am, doctor at Princeton Plainsboro.” “Granger,” Callen echoes, though you can hear some anger in it. You both stand in complete silence. You’re not sure what more there is to say. You haven’t been in contact for five years. Five long, fucking, years, though you would never admit, you did check up on him once in a while. You’d take a trip to LA with friends and have dinner at one of the restaurants you frequented with him. Sometime you saw him, sometimes you didn’t.  Granger sent you updates though. That was one of the conditions he had to adhere to. In the beginning it was tough, for both of you, but as time passed you know you couldn’t keep living in the past and so you stopped asking for updates though Granger never stopped sending them.  You couldn’t imagine the pain Callen had gone through and nothing you said now would change that.  The silence was broken this time, by House’s voice. “You’re just going to stand there?” you turn to face him and see that he’s talking to you.  “God, you’re an idiot,” he continues. “Not everyone gets a second chance, and the two of you are going on like its some unsurmountable mountain. Don’t be a jackass. People would kill for a chance like yours. Don’t waste it,” he tells you.  “House,” you start, but he cuts you off.  “Granger told me all about you, and your situation and did you really think I didn’t know about your trips to LA?” You blush at his question, he’s House, he knows everything, also the reason he didn’t keep asking about your past.  “Also, just to make things clear, Wilson was the one who gave your hideout away,” House tells you and you laugh. “Now come on, he’s treating us to dinner because he can’t keep his mouth shut, and also because I have his wallet,” House shows you Wilson’s wallet and smiles at you.  “Want to join us?” you ask Callen. “I know it won’t make up for the last five years, but it’s a start,” you say.  He thinks about it, and you’re almost sure he’s going to decline your offer, but you’re surprised when he nods his head and falls into step with you.  “You have to show me the wallet trick,” he tells House as the elevator doors close. 

Tag-list House MD: @diaryofafan17 @wefracturedmotivation  @graycrackle @intheendyouwillalwayskneel  if you want to be tagged, let me know

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[quillbetweenboots]

PLEDGE

A sequel to OMINOUS

by Lala J. Thorpe

Pairs: Uruha x Mizuno Rin (OC)

Rating: T

“Fuck! Let me go!!” A hoarse yelp of that male student echoed through the crowd while he was being dragged roughly by the security guard. “I didn’t mean to hurt him!” He kept trying to release himself from the guard’s strong grip.

The whole crowd was too stupefied witnessing the bloodcurdling scene right before their eyes with one of the students was close to commit a murder to a teacher. Several female students kept screaming and crying because of the blood gushing out from Uruha’s upper back who was lying still on the floor attempting so hard to retain his consciousness.

“Uesugi!” The loud painful voice of a girl was overheard from the stairs. All eyes were directed to a tall long-haired girl whose cheeks were tear-stained. She marched towards Uesugi with vast steps and abruptly gave him an angry slap.

“What did you do? Uesugi, WHAT THE HELL HAVE YOU DONE TO HIM?!!” Rin was screaming her heart out right in front of his face and it only made him motionless. Powerful smacks and punches kept directed at him even though the security guard with a HONDA name tag tried to stop her.

“Rin! Rin, stop it!” Another girl broke through the crowd trying to hold back Rin from continuously releasing her rage to Uesugi. “Rin, for God’s sake please stop! I beg you.”

Rin’s lips were trembling so bad and her face was contorted in pain and turmoil. Nacchii’s hands held her face and tried soothing her best friend who slowly sank to the floor. “Rin, look at me. Sensei wouldn’t want to see you like this, okay?” Her soft voice whispered through Rin’s ear whilst hugging her. “No one else must not know about you and Sensei.”

A few seconds later when Rin’s mind began to clear, she was sobbing on Nacchii’s shoulder. “Let me take you home and we’ll go to hospital afterwards,” Nacchii comforted.

Rin shook her head weakly. “No. Just let me go to hospital already.”

           The annoying sound produced by the heartbeat detector failed to dissolve the cold atmosphere inside the chamber. Half an hour ago, Uruha had just finished undergoing an emergency surgery. Now he’s already moved to a VIP nursing room. By the time Doctor finished examining and gave permission to visit him, Rin was the first person to sit by Uruha’s bed-side. She was caressing his cold hand. His long brown hair spread upon the white pillow. A few hours ago, her hands were still stained with Uruha’s blood before Nacchii cleaned them out inside the hospital’s lavatory. Nacchii was waiting outside and thanks to her, Rin was able to hold herself from drowning into uncontrolled tantrum.

           “Shitsureishimasu.”

           Four men in Uruha’s age wearing sunglasses and masks entered the room. Rin nearly jumped and quickly detached her hands from Uruha’s.

           “Ah…good evening. Sorry for disturbing. Thank you for staying with him. Are you Uruha-kun’s student?” asked one man in early 30s.

Rin bowed and nodded politely. “Yes, I am.” She answered whilst standing up to let them check on Uruha.

“If I’m not mistaken, you’re the girl whom he gave private lessons, aren’t you? Mizuno Rin-san?” asked the shortest man, Ruki, the vocalist of the band.

“That’s right,” Rin replied nervously. It’s the first time they encountered with the other band members even though Nacchii was dating their drummer.

“Kai was outside talking with your friend. She still seemed quite shocked,” said Aoi, Uruha’s fellow guitarist.

“Wait. Aren’t today your graduation ceremony?” asked the man whose face was concealed behind a white mask. “Mizuno-chan, could you tell us how it happened? We weren’t informed the whole event when we got a call from here.”

The four of them fell silent as Rin began her story of her version when Uruha’s body shielded her from being stabbed by one male student. She hadn’t known the exact motive of Uesugi. He was currently under investigation with the police and school staffs. Her voice was still trembling with fears remembering the thick crimson blood flooded out from his lifeless body. A small circle of blood-stain was still visible on Rin’s Prussian green school coat and she tried her best to hold back her tears.

As flabbergasted as it seemed, they were too shocked to utter one or two words. Ruki and Reita sank upon the sofa whilst rubbing their faces. Meanwhile, Aoi and their manager Tanaka was talking quietly to each other.

“What about the Osaka show this weekend?” asked Aoi with a concerned look.

“Don’t worry about it. All that matters now is his recovery. I’ll discuss it with everyone after this,” said Tanaka.

They stayed one more hour later before leaving. Reita decided to stay any longer to accompany Rin. The rest of the blokes agreed and bid them good bye.

“I--I apologise for making your plans messed up, Reita-san,” Rin stammered with her head bowed down. Reita sighed slowly. He stared at the innocent young girl who had stolen the heart of his childhood buddy.

“There’s no need to apologise. You know you’re not at fault here.” Reita rose from the sofa and stood at the other side of the bed. “For actually…I was glad that you’re not the one who was hurt.”

Rin looked up at him in disbelief. The mask had been pulled off his face and his forever concealed nose was able to be witnessed. His usual cheeky voice turned into something full of anxiety and relief at the same time.

“Dou yu koto desu ka?”

Reita thought back to the day Uruha told him that he was about to ask her hand in marriage. The bassist was initially unsure whether it’s a good idea knowing that this girl was far too young to marry a band dude in his 30s. Not to mention their wild fangirls all around the world who were so eager in taking her place.

“Please don’t look so shocked. We’ve been friends since forever and just this once, I began to witness a genuine glint in his eyes whenever he’s talking about a girl and that girl is you. He’s fallen head over heels for you, Mizuno-chan. It might be too risky to date a student but he would take anything to fight for his feeling. He might not look like it but believe me, Uruha loves you more than he could ever love anyone else. He loves your silly attitudes, your sincerity, and most importantly your pure heart.

I don’t know what he would do if you were really stabbed right in front of his eyes. I don’t know and I don’t want to know how violent he’d become if that ever happened. He might’ve killed that guy too. And that definitely would’ve happened.”

Rin was dead silenced listening to his explanation. The man lying before her, twelve years as old as her, nearly lost his life from protecting a stupid innocent girl. And yet his bandmate was still able to thank her. A wave of agony boiled inside her chest recalling how he grabbed her body to his chest. She reached for his chilled hand once again as painful sobs started to release from her lips.

Reita walked towards her and gave an affective pat on her head. “Shinpai suru na. He’ll wake up in time. He won’t die I promise because he’s a stubborn shithead. I’m gonna have an important meeting with the other lads now. Don’t forget to ring us when he opens his eyes, okay? Ja na.”

As the door clicked closed, Rin dropped her head upon Uruha’s arm and let the heart-wrenching sobs escape her mouth. Her beloved paramour was so close to death because of her. Everything seemed too vague. Her five inches dream, their marriage plan had become too fragile to think about. The screams, the wail, the groan kept playing over and over inside her head replaying the torment she tried so hard to suppress.

 Flashback five months prior

<Rin’s POV>

“What the hell am I gonna do with him? You know I dislike him as much as I hate numbers,” I blurted out in front of Nacchii.

“C’mon, Rin, just this once. You keep telling me about going to France and there’s no way you would go there if your Math score doesn’t match your other excellent subjects. Trust me he’s not as bad as you think,” assured Nacchii.

I snorted at her. It’s not about the way he taught in our class. I just didn’t like his attitude when he was being conversed by the students. Those cold look and demeanour and he didn’t speak too much outside teaching. Uruha-sensei was too rigid. He might be good looking—yes of course because he happened to be a rock star—but his natural demeanour just couldn’t fit his job as a teacher. Not to mention his androgynous look was actually prettier than me when he wore his make-up on stage. (Jealousy yeah).

Nacchii stirred her iced-cappuccino latte whilst giggling at me. This girl didn’t have any problems with numbers and she also excelled in language and music. I envied her so much. Perhaps because they both had the same passion in music, she suspected that Uruha-sensei was just as normal as the other teachers.

“You’ll be fine, okay? I know you can cope with it. You’re better than you think you are.”

*

I was tapping my pen on the desk while waiting for Uruha-sensei. The tickling sound of the clock filled the desolate ambience of the classroom. It was half an hour after the last bell rang and I was forced to stay one more hour to have a private lesson with him. Sounds of whistle and yells produced by baseball club members were overheard from outside the window. Oh, how I missed being a club member as a soccer club manager.

“Good afternoon.”

I nearly jumped from my chair.

“Good afternoon, Sensei.” I bowed at him.

“Sorry for making you stay late. Let’s skip this formal intro and directly get into our lesson for today. Mizuno-san, I do hope we can work well for the next four months so that you can enrol in France after graduation. The principal has really high expectation on you.”

“Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.” I bowed once again.

Numbers were my worst enemy. I didn’t understand how some people were so in love with Math instead of the beauty of language or any other disciplines. Surprisingly, Uruha-sensei was like a different individual between when he taught in class and with me alone. He was so patient and communicative. He’s probably quite sensible that the student he had to deal with bore an immense difficulty.

The lesson had been going for almost three weeks and I still hadn’t found the joy of learning Math. One afternoon, I was weeping on my desk in the middle of his explanation because I couldn’t understand one single thing from the material. It exhausted me out. Even sometimes we were forced to stay until dark as he insisted me that we couldn’t go home before I finished the exercise.

“Let me go home already, Sensei!” I cried in front of him. He clicked his tongue and put his textbook down.

“Fine. Let’s call it a day then. You need to rest anyway. And by the way, I won’t be teaching next two weeks as I’ll be having six shows in Kyoto and Ibaraki,” he said.

“Really???!!!” I jumped up from my chair.

“Yeah. Why do you look so excited? I’ve prepared lots of exercises though. We’re gonna discuss them when I get back,” he sniggered.

My jaw dropped. “Sensei, you’re kidding, right?”

He shrugged while packing his books. “I’ll send them to your email tonight. See ya.”

I sighed loudly.

“Oh, by the way,” he stopped at the door, “We should sometimes have this lesson in my home. Or outside school, I don’t care. This environment really stresses you out. I need you to have some refreshment. Good night.”

~ ~

My whole week was unexpectedly lonely without Uruha-sensei’s presence. A set of instrumental music was attached in the email given a caption 「麗によって構成されて」. Damn. His skill in guitar playing was just in another level. It was so beautiful and heart-warming that I was so close to shed a tear.

I had finished all the exercises surprisingly just in one night. Was it too easy for me or I did progressively better than before? Sensei was quite frequent in texting me even though he’s in the middle of tight schedule asking if I could follow the instruction from the substitution teacher. Well…not as good as him, I guessed? We bid each other good night. And I always had this funny stir in my chest every-time I was thinking about him. Or when I listened to his deep manly voice on the phone.

“You did really good, Rin! I’m surprised you could finish all these complex problems in one night!” Nacchii said excitedly.

“Really? I thought it’s just simple exercise!”

“No, it’s not! It’s the whole different level from national exam! See? You’re really good at it! And I’m sure Sensei has measured your ability and adjusted it with your needs!”

“Sou ka…?” I mumbled in disbelief. Was I really? Then thanks to him I was finally able to learn Math properly.

When he’s back at school, he asked me to have a lesson in his apartment on Saturday. Damn, it was massive! He had a mini studio containing a few electric and acoustic guitars. Framed pictures of The GazettE from their early debut up until now were hung neatly on the wall. I was in complete awe the second I stepped into this room. Nacchii came along but she decided to wait at the living-room.

The lesson went quite more peaceful than it usually was. I was far from having pressure and intimidation from classroom’s ambience.

“Mind if I play some melody?” he asked when I was doing some exercise.

“No.”

He picked up an acoustic guitar and sat crossing his legs in front of me. Jet-black nail polish usually emblazoned Sensei’s nails whilst performing on stage. It was my first time seeing him play without those black nails and hand accessories, bare-faced with just glasses embellishing his eyes. He started playing the intro of PLEDGE, which happened to be my favourite song of The GazettE. His long fingers were magnificently picking one string to another. And oh…his beautiful side profile strangely caused these butterflies tickle inside my belly. My fingers were fidgeting nervously while listening to the melody. Wait…what were you thinking, Rin?! Just finish those damn problems!

I screwed my eyes shut and sighed exhaled loudly.

“Nani?”

Yabai! Did he even detect my internal jittery?!

“I-iie. Nandemo nai desu.”

“Is it too difficult for you?” He shifted himself closer to me that our bodies nearly touched. This masculine fragrance of his tickled my nose and why did my cheeks feel mysteriously hot?

“Oi, Mizuno? Are you not feeling well? Your face is red.”

I was taken aback.

“N-no. I’m fine, Sensei. Let’s continue.”

 Nacchii and I were inside an MRT en-route home after the lesson finished. My vision flew far outside the window but my mind was occupied with how Uruha-sensei acted in front of me. Why was I feeling this way? He acted obviously just how he usually was!

“Rin? Rin! Are you okay?” Nacchii shook my body gently.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine. What’s wrong?”

“No, you tell me what’s wrong! You’ve been quiet along the way and you’re daydreaming. Is something on your mind?”

“Nothing’s wrong with me, Nacchii.”

“Did Sensei do something to you?”

“…No, he didn’t.”

But this best friend of mine was a stubborn one. She observed my face closely and all of a sudden, this peculiar smirk emerged on her fuchsia lips.

“Masakaa????”

“What?!”

She leant closer to me and whispered. “You like Sensei, hmm?”

 Did I? The next thing I realised was I couldn’t act as casually as usual in front of him whenever I encountered with him. The weird jittery kept disturbing my internal organs that it’s so hard to concentrate. I was too afraid to admit it myself but we were getting closer gradually. The LINE conversation was more intense than before and I found myself screaming internally every-time his name popped up in my phone screen.

 麗先生

[I’m sorry I have to cancel our lesson today] 03:15 p.m.

[I’m having a sudden meeting with the band tonight] 03:15 p.m.

 03:31 p.m. [That’s ok, Sensei. I’ll be studying with Nacchii.]

03:32 p.m. [Ganbatte^^]

 [Arigatou 😊] 03:40 p.m.

[Tell Ogawa, Kai is looking forward to meeting her again (笑)] 03:41 p.m.

[Oh and don’t stay up late.

You’ll be having simulation tomorrow.] 03:41 p.m.

 03:45 p.m. [はい。分かりました（・∀・）]

 [Ne, Mizuno. Can I ask you to have some coffee with me?] 04:00 p.m.

[If that’s ok for you of course] 04:00 p.m.

 He offered me to have a coffee and dinner at his apartment which I immediately agreed. Because it’s too risky if we’re caught accidentally by one or two school members. And that was the first time I conversed with him outside school or lesson where we’re able to discuss everything. I opened up about my big dream of having an education in Europe and how I became a laughing stock at middle school because of that. Little did I know that Sensei was also actually a bullying victim back in high school because of his weird ducky face according to his friends. But thanks to an encounter with Reita-san and their passion in music, he’s now able to slap them with his worldly achievement.

“Come to my studio. I want to play you some songs,” he said after finishing the dishes.

We were sitting side by side with him holding his favourite acoustic guitar. He played one instrumental music taken from the repertoire he sent me couple of weeks ago. His leg was touching mine and the last thing I remembered I was drowning so deeply into his melodious instrumental play.

“Mizuno…” His hand reached mine. “Omae no koto ga suki da.”

He brought his face closer and his soft lips found mine which caused my mind went completely blank. It was a gentle kiss which I responded. My body was trembling slightly from his touch but it’s also filled with excitement. Sensei embraced my body tightly to stop its shiver from intensifying. My stomach fluttered from his touch. It was my very first kiss, claimed by a world rock star.

“Watashi mo Sensei ga suki desu,” I said after he pulled away.

“Then I’m glad,” he chuckles. “But let’s keep it to ourselves or else we are doomed if the whole school learn about us.”

“Wakarimashita.”

That’s how we began our romantic relationship when all we should’ve done was merely between teacher and student. Our interaction at school didn’t change much as we must not trigger any suspicion from people. Sensei was a star teacher among female students because of his decent outer appearance. Jealousy sometimes attacked me when he was being engaged in the middle of ‘made-up’ conversation with some female classmates. Those who were sexier, whose skin was fairer, or whose makeup was far more flawless than mine. My head was clouded with nasty scene created by my own anxiety. Sensei was a rock star who taught in his alma mater, of course it’s a rare occasion for students to have such an extraordinary teacher. But he kept reassuring me that those girls wouldn’t have a chance to take over my place.

One afternoon, we were having another lesson inside his studio. He mentioned that Kai was going to visit him after that. Nacchii was again waiting for my lesson to finish in the living-room as she refused to join us because she didn’t want to be a disturbance. My mood was still being bothered with this vague jealousy upon my classmates who flirted with him without any concern. I tried suppressing this ugly feeling by keeping a normal expression but of course Sensei was able to suspect something else.

“What’s bothering your mind?” he enquired while I was packing my books.

“It’s nothing.”

“It can’t be nothing if it upsets you this much.”

I refused to look at him yet my body had been craving for his touch since we entered his studio. There was a sound of two people conversing overheard from the living-room. A male voice was giggling sweetly along with an awkward greeting from Nacchii.

“Ah, I think that’s Kai. Wait a sec.”

Before he could walk further, my hand caught his wrist.

“Eh? Mizuno, doushita no?”

“I-ikanaide…”

“I won’t be long, I promise,” he answered.

But my stubborn hand wouldn’t let go of his hand at once. Instead, I threw myself into his body begging him to stay. I let my face buried on his chest trying to conceal this anxiety.

“Stay here. Don’t go.”

“Mizuno…”

I gave him a pleading look which he returned. His hands were on my waist and then he pulled me closer. He leant closer and our lips met. My arms were circling his neck to deepen the kiss. He was grabbing my shoulder from behind and gave it a light squeeze as if he was suppressing something. We were panting and breathed heavily. Before I knew it, my fingers unbuttoned two top buttons from my school uniforms after I pulled away from his embrace.

“Yamero…”

His long fingers grabbed my wrist swiftly from going any further.

“Sensei…”

He shook his head. “I don’t want to do this when you’re still wrapped in this uniform. We could cause a big scandal and I don’t want us to jeopardise your future. You still have long way to go, Mizuno.”

My clouded mind was able to comprehend his words and I nodded.

“Sumimasen deshita.”

“We could talk about it after your graduation,” he whispered to my ear.

 End of flashback

<Author’s POV>

“Will you be able to attend the prom this Saturday?” Nacchii asked anxiously from the other line.

“I can’t I’m sorry. I want to stay here until he wakes up,” Rin answered with low voice. “If you want to come, just come. It’ll be your last night at school so please just enjoy. Send my love to our friends, okay?”

Nacchii exhaled loudly. “Wakatta. Don’t forget to have some meals, ‘kay? Sensei wouldn’t want to see you like this when he wakes up. I’ll be there tomorrow morning. Oyasumi!”

“Oyasumi!”

She went back to her seat beside the bed and glanced through his weak body. She wondered what dream he was having. It had been past 24 hours after surgery yet there was still no indication Uruha regained his consciousness. Rin kept praying from her heart that at least his condition would stay stable.

But then there she saw a movement from his pale fingertips. Slowly, the movement intensified. She nearly freaked out when there was slight flicker from each of his eyelids but quickly called a nurse informing about it. Half a minute later, a doctor came into the room along with two nurses.

“Could you please wait outside, Miss?” asked one of the nurses with nametag Shimura. Rin nodded exited the room.

It was the longest fifteen minutes of Rin’s life before the doctor came out displaying a relieved expression on his face. She stood up and walked to him.

“Sensei, how’s—”

“He’s fine now. But he’s still quite weak and now resting is just the best for him. You can come inside but please don’t force him to stay awake too long.”

She nodded contentedly at him and he walked back to his office. When she returned to the room, Uruha was already properly conscious while staring out the window at the city lights of Tokyo. He turned his gaze to the door when Rin was standing there nervously.

“Shitsureitashimasu.”

Uruha didn’t say anything. He just kept staring at the girl walking slowly to him. Perhaps his mind was still too slow to process after more than 24 hours of unconsciousness. Rin sat beside him catching an indescribable glimpse from Uruha.

“I’m not dead, am I?” he spoke with a weak voice.

Rin shook her head. “No. Why?”

He gave her a gentle smile. “Because a beautiful angel is standing right before me. I thought it’s what heaven looks like.”

All the mixed emotions she had been holding were welled up in her eyes. Her hands reached for his and gave it a light squeeze as he did the same. Uruha gave her a quizzical glance.

“Rin…you’re not hurt, are you?”

Rin

He called her with her first name for the first time. His question caused a twinge to emerge inside her chest that she began to weep in front of him. It was once again thanks to him when she could’ve been the one lying on this cold bed instead of him.

Rin shook her head vigorously. “I’m…fine, Sensei.”

Uruha sighed in complete relief. “Yokatta…”

“But I’m dead worried about you, Sensei!” she almost yelled at him. “You nearly died right there that it happened so fast and I had no idea what’s actually going on.”

The sobs were getting worse. Her face was mixed with sadness and relief. A little guilt appeared inside him yet Uruha was so glad that his beloved girl was perfectly fine. The wound still hurt, yes it did. But it couldn’t compare to the agony he would’ve got if only he had failed to protect Rin.

“Come here.” He spread his arm beckoning her to come into his embrace. Rin buried her face into his shoulder before she knew it. Her hand was clutching on his hospital gown tightly. She let out all the despair erupting inside her for the last two days. Uruha caressed her long black hair gently and kissed the top of her head.

“I’m sorry for making you worried. Everything is fine. The worst part is over now,” he whispered softly.

“How could you do that? How could you endanger your own self to protect this stupid girl?” She was sobbing like a child drenching his aquamarine shirt.

Uruha took a deep breath. A large lump filled his throat. “Because I’d rather die than seeing you hurt.”

“But I did hurt, Sensei!” she pulled away from his embrace. “The last two days were the worst in my life. You don’t understand how it felt when I saw you dying right in front of my eyes with blood flooding out from your back. I was overcome with guilt and badly terrified that I was actually the cause the guitarist of GazettE nearly lost his life! I kept refusing any requests to do interview regarding this case because I don’t want to leave your side. I don’t even care how’s the case going at school. All I care about is you and you alone.” She cried.

Uruha gazed deeply at her. A tear trickled down his temple. The love of his life, his brilliant student, the young lady who had stolen his ‘emotionally unavailable’ heart. He couldn’t detect any regrets inside him for having protected her because his only heart yearned deeply for her.

“Rin, listen.” He took her hand. “You’re my better half. You’re everything that I’m not. I’m not whole without you. Before I met you, I’d be walking through life thinking I was happy…that I was complete. But now I can’t be back to just being me because now I know what it’s like to be whole.”

Rin nodded while tightening her grip on his even though she couldn’t stop the tears from keeping falling. He’s fine, everything’s fine. Her dream, his promise was returning its light after the glint was hardly visible prior to his awakening.

“I had a beautiful dream,” he said.

“Yeah?”

“I was dreaming…we readied ourselves before wedding ceremony. I wore this black kimono and you were dressed beautifully in a pure white gown and veil holding a bouquet of white roses. We were about to made a marriage pledge but then I was awakened by your warmth.”

Rin smiled sadly at him. “Now that you’ve woken up, we should be able to make it come true.”

“Sou da ne.”

She leant forward and caressed his pale face. She gave him a warm kiss on his cheek and buried her head on his chest. “Don’t even try leaving me again.”

He closed his eyes and smiled.

“Aishiteru yo.”

to be continued.

#the gazette #fanfiction #the gazette fanfiction #uruha #uruha the gazette #OC

[captain-kingliamsqueen]

Just Say The Word And I’ll Do It

Part 6 of “Always”

Pairing: Liam x Riley   

Summary: Is Riley Okay? Where her Injuries Fatal? will she be found in time?

Word Count: 2068

Part 1

Part 2

Part 3

Part 4

Part 5

Part 6

Tagged : @starstruckzonkoperatorbat @drakelover78 @queencatherynerhys @devineinterventions2 @jayjay879 @pens-girl-87 @kawairinrin @hopefulmoonobject @flyawayblue56 @gardeningourmet @blackcatkita

IF ANYONE WANTS TAGGED LET ME KNOW!!

It was going on twenty to eleven when Leo arrived at the Palace, as he walked in he spotted Riley, his eyes widened in panic, “Riley!” he dropped his bag as he ran over falling to his knees beside her, he pulled his phone from his pocket calling an ambulance. Even though the phone only rang for about 30 seconds before someone answered it felt like hours.

“this is prince Leo I-I need an ambulance”

“I need the address of where you are sir”

“the palace”

“what’s the emergency”

“one of the Ladies has fallen down the stairs, she’s got burns from dropping what I think is hot soup on her…she’s not moving”

“the Ambulance is on the way, is she breathing?” lea reached down to place his finger under her nose. He let out a sigh of relief when he felt a small breath of air on his finger.

“barely, she had surgery just a few days ago…she was shot”

“okay just try and stay calm and the ambulance will be with you shortly”

After coming off the phone with the operator Leo called Drake to come down to the entrance. As Drake reached the top of the stairs, his hear dropped to his stomach…he ran down the stairs, kneeling opposite Leo. He gently tucked the strand of hair that had fallen over her face behind her ear.

“is she breathing?” he asked Leo

“yes…but barely” he replied

“she can’t die…I promised Liam I would keep her safe”

“There’s still hope Drake!” Leo reassured

Six or seven minutes later the paramedics arrived, running into the palace Leo and Drake moved out of the way as the paramedics crouched beside her.

“Riley, can you hear us?” the paramedic asked…no response Drake and Leo stood back watching as they pointed and prodded at her.

“she must have fallen” Leo Whispered

“unlikely” Drake mumbled

“what?”

“nothing”

“we have to get her to the hospital” the paramedics placed a neck brace around her neck then lifted Riley onto the gurney with the help of the two men.

“Drake go with them! Ill follow on my bike” Leo stated then headed out to his bike, once the paramedics got Riley and Drake in the back, they headed for the hospital, lights flashing, siren roaring, with Leo on their tail. The back of the vehicle was silent except the noise of the heart monitor they had on Riley.

“is she going to be alright?” Drake asked the paramedic

“we won’t know until we get a CT scan and a CAT scan at the hospital, then we will know what we’re dealing with”

Once they reached the hospital Riley was rushed in to get a CT scan and a CAT scan, once that was done she was brought to an isolated room. Leo and Drake waited outside both jumping to their feet as the doctors wheeled her bed up the narrow hallway.

“what’s going on? What’s wrong with her?”

“gentle, please step back let us get miss Brookes in to her room.” the two men nodded stepping back a little. As the doctors wheeled her in they started to connect her to different machines. Riley's main doctor stopped at the door to address the men, he gently bowed his head to Leo then started to inform them of what was happening with Riley.

“gentlemen, due to the extent of Lady Riley's fall, she has broken her right ankle, along with a few of her ribs…now…she has hit her head…thankfully it wasn’t hard enough to knock the brain and do too much damage… however the cut is deep enough where she will need stitches. So, first we’re going to get her stitches done then get a cast on her ankle, we’re also going to have to bandage her wrists from the burns she obtained, we also have to re-stitch her bullet wound due to some of the stitches coming out.”

“when will she wake up?” Leo Asked

“well…that is up to miss Brookes”

“can we see her?” Drake asked

“of course,” the doctor nodded then allowed them into the room before he headed off to see to other patients.

Drake and Leo entered the room, Leo sat beside her bed in silence as Drake stood on the opposite side of the bed, “what did she do to you Riley?” he whispered

“I have to make a phone call…” Drake stated before walking out of the room.

Whilst Drake was on the phone, Leo just sat in silence watching Riley.

“I know you probably can’t hear me right now…and probably won’t remember Riley, but I just want to say thank you…for letting Liam experience love…for showing him what it’s like to love someone the way he loved you…you were all he thought about…I wish I was all someone thought about” he whispered

As soon as the door shut he dialled Bastian’s Number.

“Drake” Bastian answered quickly

“put him on” he blurted after a few seconds he heard Liam

“Drake is everything okay?”

“define okay…Riley's hur-”

“what happened? Is she going to be alright?”

“Leo Found her lying at the bottom of the stairs unresponsive, he called an ambulance…I don’t think it was an accident Liam”

“shit…she told me yesterday she was scared…”

“we overheard madeleine asking the shooter if he “done it” when he said he did, he then said “she took them this morning” I think they done something to her medication, she was dizzy and slurring her words, Liam”

“fuck…where are you? I’m coming to you”

“no! you have to stay there…everyone thinks your dead” he whispered the last part

“I don’t care! She’s hurt!” Liam stated angrily “I don’t care what you or anyone says, I’ll be coming to see her, so you might aswell tell me!”

“we’re at the hospital” Drake sighed

“I’ll be there soon, don’t let madeleine anywhere near her!”

“I won’t Liam…you know I won’t”

“what did the doctor say?”

“she’s broke her ankle, a couple of her ribs…she’s got a nasty cut on the back of her head that needs stitches and she has to get bandages on her wrists because she was carrying some soup to her room when she fell, its scolded her arms.”

“my…god” Liam whispered, “is she awake?” he asked

“no, the doctor said she’ll wake up when she wants to”

“okay” he whispered

“keep me posted drake” Liam sighed

“of course,” drake assured him

“I should go and check on her…I don’t know if it was a good idea leaving her with Leo” Drake chuckled

“no that definitely wasn’t a good idea” Liam smirked “how is he?”

“he’s alright…he’s actually been a lot quieter than usual”

“okay” he let out a sigh “listen I should go, so that Bastian can use the phone, look after her drake”

“I will…I promise” Drake replied.

Once they bid each other goodbye they hung up, Drake headed back into Riley's room.

“Leo why don’t you get back to the palace and get settles…I can stay with her” Drake suggested

“are you sure…I don’t mind staying” he replied

“I’m sure”

“alright…listen…I wanted to thank you…for…for being there for Liam through everything…I know you meant the world to him…he held you higher than anyone…well until Riley came along” he chuckled causing Drake to do the same.

“thank you, Leo, it means a lot to hear that” Drake smiled.

After they said their goodbyes Leo headed out, Drake sat himself down in the seat that Leo had just vacated. He leaned forward leaning his elbows on his knees.

“I promise Riley…we won’t let her get away with this!”

Drake looked up when there was a gentle knock at the door then the doctor walked in.

“Mr walking I’m going to have to ask you to step outside for a little while, just while we get miss Brookes stitched up and ger her cast on”

Drake nodded then left, sitting himself outside the room on the closest chair, twiddling with his thumbs whilst he waited. Abut an hour later Drake was allowed back in, Riley had her cast and everything on and her bandages.

It was about an hour later when security all stood around the door, Liam walked in pulling a hood from covering his head and removing his glasses

“Drake” Liam gently patted drakes shoulder then looked over at Riley. The hurt could be seen in his eyes when he seen her. “can I have some time with her” he asked his friend

“of course,” Drake replied before patting his shoulder then walked out, closing the door behind him.

Liam walked over to the bed, pulling the chair closer to the bed, he sat down taking her hand in his.

“Riley, sweetheart,” he lifted her hand placing a gentle kiss on the back of it “I love you so much” he sniffled as he wiped his eyes with his free hand. “I don’t know what happened love, but I will make sure she doesn’t get away with it…even if I have to kill her myself…I swear to you Riley…just say the word and I’ll do it. I’m sorry you’re hurt…I’m sorry for putting you in this position in the first place…” he looked to the floor as the tears fell from his eyes. His sobs were interrupted when he felt her hand squeeze his, his head shot up to look at her.

“Riley?” He called as he leaned closer to her.

“Riley, sweetie can you hear me?” he whispered

“L-Liam” she croaked as her eyes flickered open slowly. he quickly stood from his seat as he moved closer to the bed, the tears instantly fell started falling from her eyes

“hey,” he whispered sympathetically as he ran his thumbs over her cheeks “it’s alright…you’re going to be okay” he assured her.

“I’m going to get the doctor, okay?”

“o-okay” she stuttered, Liam opened the door enough to see Drake.

“can you find the doctor…Riley's awake” drakes eyes widened

“she’s awake?”

“yes, she just woke up”

Drake stood from his seat then headed down the corridor looking for the doctor. Once he found him and told him that Riley had woken the two headed down to her room. Drake stayed outside whilst the doctor went in.

“nice to see you awake miss Brookes” the doctor smiled as he placed a cup of ice chips on the table beside riley

“how are you feeling? Are you in any pain?”

“J-just my ankle and my chest…my head really hurts” she cried

“now that you’re awake and we know how much pain you’re in we can adjust your medication properly” the doctor noted pressing a few buttons on the machines. Once the doctor had asked her some questions made sure she was comfortable he left the room.

Liam perched himself on the bed beside her pulling her into his chest gently as he wrapped his arms around her, placing the most gentle kiss on her head. Liam held the cup of ice to Riley for her to take a couple to soothe her throat then he placed it back on the table.

“Riley, can I ask…what happened?” he asked cautiously not wanting to push her on the matter.

“she pushed me” Riley whispered as she stared at the wall blankly then turned to look at him. “she drugged me then pushed me down the stairs” she informed him “she tried to kill me” she cried “she had that man…come into my room whilst I was sleeping and…and mess with my medication”

“I’m so sorry” he whispered feeling guilty

“what happened before she pushed you?”

“um…she asked how my investigation was going…she of course guessed I would be looking into who tried to kill you…I told her I had a few suspects…sh-she asked me…if I would like her to help me narrow the list down…then she sai-MY PHONE! WHERES MY PHONE?!” her eyes widened in realisation.

“umm I’m not-” Liam looked around for it “here it is here” he spotted in on the side table, he lifted it then passed it to her, she started pressing buttons, panicking as her hands shook.

“Riley breathe” he whispered soothingly in her ear.

“god I hope it saved,” she hoped.

Liam watched over her shoulder as she scrolled through her stuff.

“I think it’s this one!” she whispered then pressed play.

Liam listened intently, hearing their conversation from the night before. Then he gasped when he heard it.

“it was me!”

#trr #trr choices #trr fanfic #trr liam #choices #choices app #playchoices #play choices fanfiction #playchoices fandom #playchoices fanfic #king liam x mc #liam rys #liam x riley #liam x mc #the royal romance #the royal romance fanfic

[themillenniumscribe]

Yu-Gi-Oh: Brilliancy (31)

Her name is Clarisa Swansea. She was born in Hong Kong to a wealthy yet loving family, a father, mother, and two older sisters. A competitive beast in women’s lacrosse with a pretty face to match, there was no mistaking that she was striving for greatness far beyond any expectations. But, when one accident took her family along with her mobility, her life took an intriguing turn into the world of chess.

Clarisa was still steaming when she checked in with her medical staff. She gave them short instructions on where to send the patients, ordering that only two keys be used to access the space. One she gave to the head doctor and the other she kept on her person. When one of the KaibaCorp physicians attempted to complain, she shot him a glare so fierce that his heart stopped. Her surgeon gave him a few words of advice, requesting that he not provoke Clarisa further into her beastly temper. The only one who seemed safe from it all was Shizuka, the auburn girl staying by Mai’s side the entire time.

“If you need to get back into the room, just let me or my doctor know.” Clarisa told her as gently as possible, eyeing the staff as they made their way out of the quarters. “I will be in Kaiba’s room.”

“I will,” Shizuka whispered gratefully. “Thank you for letting me stay by Mai’s side.”

“I don’t think I would have stood a chance of convincing you to stay away. You’re more of a fighter than you let on.” Her observation made the younger girl blush. There was some truth behind the secret fighter inside Shizuka and her crooked smile verified it.

“Oh, and one more thing,” Clarisa’s cheerful demeanor turned dark. “If anyone comes to the door, verify who it is before letting them in.”

“Why? Is someone trying to hurt Mai?”

“Not Mai. Him,” Clarisa indicated to Rishid with a jerk of her head. “I caught his master trying to stab him with that rod of his.”

“Wha_?!” Shizuka sputtered, the color draining from her face. “Shouldn’t Mr. Kaiba know?!”

“He’s preoccupied with running the tournament. I’m taking over the medical staff and everything therein.”

“But, if someone is after Rishid…”

“Kaiba doesn’t give a damn what happens to anyone in this tournament. He has made that perfectly clear by letting people duel while injured, fall into comas for unknown reasons, and allowing a raging psychopath threaten everyone on board. Besides,” Clarisa stated surely. “Mr. McKnifey won’t get a second chance. I already had a go at him and I won’t be so nice the second time around.”

Shizuka was struggling to find more words when realization hit. With a silent nod, Clarisa confirmed to the girl where the injury to her face came from.

“Keep an eye on them, Shizuka.” She said softly. “Especially Mai. Don’t let anyone but my staff and your friends in.”

“You can count on me!” Clarisa admired Shizuka’s courage. The little mouse had some bite to her.

She had to fake her kindness a little longer when Yugi and his friends showed up to visit. They filed in, surrounding Mai’s bedside just as the door slid shut. Once it latched, the prior anger that Clarisa was feeling returned to her face. Body tensing, she began to move away from the medical wing.

“I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you are not in a good mood?” Charles appeared beside her. He was rather chipper, much to Clarisa’s annoyance. Her shoulders tightened as she rolled her way back to Kaiba’s empty room.

“It’s not every day I get to feel objectified by a man who thinks I’m an ‘investment’ rather than a person.” She spat, shoving the spare key into her bra. It took a few minutes for her to adjust herself but the card tucked itself nicely to the left side.

“To be fair, I think anyone is an investment in his eyes,” Charles was trying very hard to be soothing. “He seems to struggle in the social department.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Clarisa looked up, her eyes still burning. Kaiba had pricked her to the core and she was itching to take it out on someone. She was somewhat tempted to go after Charles but his gentle face made it difficult for her to stay mad.

“He should write a book. ‘How to Offend People in_’” He counted silently on his fingers. “…’Eight Syllables or Less.’”

“Really?” Her eyebrows rose skeptically. “That’s the reference you decided to go with?”

“…It’s not…what it seems….” Charles gasped with overly dramatic flair. Though Clarisa wanted to continue to stew, her anger phased out in a badly suppressed grin. Shaking her head, she rolled herself forward, Charles close behind.

The call was made for lights out shortly after they made it into the room. Clarisa settled herself comfortably in her chair, getting in a little bit of light reading while Charles guarded outside. Though her initial lounging activity brought her some peace, something felt off and a peculiar restlessness entered her mind after an hour of comfort. She waited a few moments, hoping the feeling would subside but it only made her nerves sharpen. Sighing, Clarisa put down her spare book, tentatively making her way to the door.

“Charles?” She called, leaning her head to the side for a better listen. A voice didn’t answer but there was a metallic tap outside.

Clarisa’s skin began to crawl. Everything about the situation screamed for Clarisa to keep the room closed. She even heard her own words echo in her head.

‘If anyone comes to the door, verify who it is before letting them in.’

There was no peep hole and, if there was, it would be out of her reach. Hands trembling, she went against her better judgement and opened the door.

As expected, the halls were dark save for the emergency lights. Their glow took a minute to get used to but Clarisa soon noticed something off. Charles was nowhere to be found.

“Charles?” She called again, the hair on the back of her neck standing on end.  She leaned forward, her head popping out of the doorway.

“R-Risa!” Whipping her head to her left, she could see the familiar glow around Charles’ body. He was pressed up against the wall, struggling to get free from his supernatural binding. It took Clarisa a moment to notice but a pooling of red was starting to form at his feet.

“CLOSE THE DOOR!” He bellowed.

It was too late. The moment Clarisa moved to do as she was bid, she was struck out of her chair and onto the floor. Her cheek banged against the metal surface, singing the familiar praises of a still fresh bruise. She grunted, attempting to roll over when a foot pressed against her jugular. Clarisa could see the familiar evil burning in Malik’s dark eyes as he leaned forward to greet her.

“Give me the key.” Malik’s sinister voice purred, lips curling.

“F-Fuck…you…” Though she was choking, she managed to spit out the words. It also came with a complimentary spit to his face. His smile dimmed but didn’t dissipate his heel digging further into her neck. Clarisa gagged, clawing desperately at his foot when some of her self-defense training kicked in.

Twisting sharply, Clarisa took Malik’s leg with her when she spun, throwing the man off balance. He staggered and fell on top of Clarisa. The sheer weight of him knocked the wind out of her but, with the adrenaline pumping in her ears, Clarisa wasted little time trying to catch any semblance of breath.

She used her arms to shove him off of her, tossing him a surprising distance when she heard the chiming of metal just behind her. Eyes refocusing, she noticed that Malik had accidentally released the Millennium Rod from his grip. Despite the growing numbness in her legs, Clarisa managed to get to her feet, stumbling over to the item and reach the staff.

Her fingers gently grazed the tip of the sheath when a rush of sensation hit her like a truck.

Something was being pulled out of her. It was painful, more painful than any shrapnel in the car accident. A woman crossed her vision, pale as silver and the brightest blue eyes. Behind her, a white dragon appeared, screeching out in a mixture of pride and pain. Tears were falling down the woman’s face and a faint whisper of breath escaped her peach colored lips. A yellow emperor laughed.

When the whisper faded, the vision faded too, leaving Clarisa on her back in the hallway. Even more frightening, Malik was on top of her, golden blade twinkling in the little bit of light that remained in the hallway.

“Die,” He commanded in the same faint tone, thrusting the blade toward her chest.

It never struck.

The blade barely nicked one of her buttons when Malik was picked up and thrown down the hallway. She heard muffled screams and her blood pounding in her temples when she finally gained the courage to sit up.

Kaiba was in the hallway, blocking Clarisa’s view of Malik’s crumpled body. He shouted some kind of command to the Ghoul but she couldn’t make out the details. She noticed the horde of staff whisking in to take care of the mess. Isono and Fubeta escorted Malik to his room and a doctor went to attend to Charles. Another went Clarisa’s way but she waved them off, indicating at the blood below Charles’ feet.

As for the CEO, Clarisa remembered a very stern glare being shot her way. The high-pitched tone of Mokuba’s voice was to her right and she registered his body being there. But, she wasn’t able to comprehend the words he said. It sounded as though they were talking through Jell-O.

“Make sure he stays in his room.” Kaiba barked. “As for Miss Swansea, she will be in my personal care.”

“Can I opt out of that?” Clarisa slurred, lifting her hand.

“Shut up!” The tone of Kaiba’s voice shook the blimp. Most of the remaining staff jumped in their skin and remained fearful of the CEO. Clarisa was not so frightened. The fogginess around her mind was so intense that all he got was a slow blink. Their eyes connected briefly and Clarisa could see the irritation swirling in his eyes.

“Mokuba, take her to the computer room.” He ordered, rubbing his eyes in frustration. “I will be there shortly.”

The younger Kaiba did as he was bid, coaxing Clarisa back into her chair and escorting her to the computer room. She was tempted to object but the fuzziness in her brain kept her from being too terribly quick. Instead, she settled for silence until Mokuba’s hazel eyes locked ferociously onto her person.

“What was that all about!?” He cried, the door lock hissing when he slammed his hand against the button. Clarisa pursed her lips with a shrug.

“I’m not exactly sure what you mean.” She replied with a slight grin. “Try asking me again with more feeling.”

“You could have been seriously hurt!”

“Wouldn’t be the first time,” Her brow furrowed lightly. “And you don’t know that.”

“Don’t know what?” The younger Kaiba retorted.

“That I would have been seriously hurt. If anything, I gave him a run for his money,” Her response didn’t settle Mokuba’s nerves. If anything, it only enflamed him.

“You were on the ground and had a knife heading for your chest!” He cried, becoming pricklier when Clarisa waved him lazily with her hand. “Malik is dangerous! There is no way you could have taken him on by yourself!”

“Why? Because I’m a cripple?” Clarisa let the words escape her lips without a thought on the consequences. Mokuba sputtered away, trying desperately to find the right answer to her confrontation. She smirked in her seat, pleased that she caught him in this blunder. But, it was very short lived.

“How about because you are an idiot?” The confidence was stripped from her face when the CEO’s penetrating voice answered back. He wasn’t as angry as before but he certainly wasn’t calmed from their brief time apart.

“Seto, I_”

“Get out,” Kaiba ordered Mokuba, crossing his arms over his chest as a dagger like glower locked onto the blonde woman. Clarisa watched the dark haired boy duck his head as he slipped out into the hallway. That just left her and the older, socially inept cactus.

“Miss Swansea,” His voice was a hiss. “We need to talk.”  

#yugioh #yugioh brilliancy #yugioh oc #clarisa swansea #seto kaiba #malik #Rishid Ishtar #mokuba kaiba #charles #shizuka kawai

[amaintainedrisk]

Sunday night I went to the emergency room again. I now have four holes in the back of my head where spinal fluid is leaking out. I am at massive risk for infection, and it's already been confirmed that I already have a brain infection. they eventually think the four wounds will get bigger and bigger until it's just one big gaping wound. The ER doctor gave me a dose of anabiotic's there and gave me two prescriptions: one for anabiotics and one for pain meds because he could tell I was in pain because he could barely touch me and the area around the wound is inflamed and red. now let me tell you a little something about how Medicaid works, at least in Ohio. If you are on Medicaid and you have a prescription, and Medicaid won't pay for it, you either have to go without or get prior authorization. which can take weeks. and sometimes you don't get it even then, they deny you. You are not allowed to pay out-of-pocket for your meds if you are on Medicaid. it's literally against the law. They put it there because pharmacists we're letting people pay out-of-pocket for their meds, and then they double billed Medicaid anyway. So the pharmacist for getting paid for the medicine twice, and because of crooked pharmacists, You were no longer allowed to pay out of pocket for your meds. If you are on Medicaid, and the meds are not covered, too fucking bad. Even if you need the meds desperately, and you have the money, you are shit out of luck. so now I have these two prescriptions and I need them filled. We are well aware of the laws but I have a gaping wound in the back of my head and I need antibiotics for it, so what would you do? I went to a pharmacy, they wouldn't fill it. Went to two more pharmacies, They wouldn't fill it. Went to the fourth pharmacy, handed the prescriptions to them, crossed my fingers that they would be filled, and all hell broke loose. The pharmacist was furious at me and said I was on Medicaid and I should know better. I shouldn't be going from pharmacy to pharmacy trying to get these meds filled. He told me to wait for prior authorization. I told him I've been waiting three weeks for it on certain meds, And it got denied. so he said"There's your answer then, why are you here?" I ripped the bandage off my head and frustration, turned around, and parted my hair and showed him the gaping wounds in my head and told him I just came from the ER yesterday evening. That's why. he stammered and stuttered and told me there was nothing he could do, I can't pay out-of-pocket and by law he Hass to confiscate my prescriptions and he told me I'm going to be lucky if I don't get turned in and the cops show up at my door. I asked him, for what fucking reason would I be in trouble? And he said Medicaid fraud. Trying to buy medications when I am on Medicaid indicates fraud and is a red flag and could trigger an investigation, especially if pain medicine is involved. I just can't fucking believe this. I couldn't even get my prescriptions back to try somewhere else so now I have massive head wounds and no chance of anabiotics again. and now on top of it, I could be in trouble with the justice system? I could get arrested if they so choose? Are you kidding me? I could literally be arrested right now or at any time because I was committing Medicaid fraud by trying to get antibiotics and pain meds for my head wounds and brain infection. Fuck. You. America. I am ASHAMED to be an American. This country is bullshit and just treating our citizens like criminals and like dirt. And this started way before Trump. I am ashamed of this country and I hate it with everything I am. This country is willing to let its people die and suffer so we can make money and for a million different reasons. Democrats and Republicans alike and I'll burn in hell. You shut down the government but your paycheck doesn't stop, does it, you greedy fucking bastards. Obama care and Medicaid is in the toilet and people are dying and suffering, but you're fucking health care plan is perfect, ain't it? Go fuck yourselves. All of you. i'm in this mess because of what doctors have done to me. Have they been punished? Of course not. Just me. And now I could be in trouble with the law for trying to get a prescription filled and a bullshit government system. Does anybody else suffer? No. The people who make these laws don't suffer. They are all doing just fine, aren't they? AREN'T THEY? FUCK YOU. FUCK YOU FUCK YOU FUCK YOU. IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR FUCKING LIES THAT WENT INTO EFFECT JANUARY 1, IT'S BECAUSE OF THOSE LAWS THAT I WAS KICKED OFF HOSPICE. BECAUSE I SUDDENLY DIDN'T MEET REGULATIONS BECAUSE GOD FOR BID I DID NOT DIE FAST ENOUGH FOR YOU PEOPLE. I AM SO FUCKING SORRY I MESSED UP YOUR SYSTEM BY NOT DYING QUICK ENOUGH FOR YOU. SO FUCKING SORRY I INCONVENIENCED YOU AND CAUSED YOU TO DO A FEW MORE PAGES OF PAPERWORK. SO SORRY. and now this? And fuck you too, Governor John Kacic. All the bullshit you have done in office. The way you altered abortion law so even if the mothers life depends on it, she is an allowed to have one. Ohio has the toughest abortion laws in the country because of you and I don't give a fuck how religious you are, if a woman's life depends on it, FUCKING SAVE HER. HAVE YOU NO FUCKING BRAINS? YOU DO REALIZE A FETUS CAN'T LIVE IN A MOTHERS UTERUS WHEN THE MOTHER IS DEAD. YOU DO THE SURGERY/TERMINATION AND AT LEAST YOU SAVE ONE LIFE. FORCE HER TO NOT GET AN ABORTION AND YOU KILL BOTH OF THEM YOU FUCKING MORON. BUT NO, YOU'RE RIGHT. FUCK WOMEN AND THEIR RIGHTS. BUT GOD FOR BID ANYONE COMES FOR YOUR RIGHTS TO YOUR GUN, RIGHT? TO A PIECE OF METAL THAT DOES NOTHING BUT KILL. THAT'S OK. BUT A WOMAN'S LIFE? WHO CARES. SHE GETS AN ABORTION TO SAVE HER OWN LIFE AND SHE'S A FUCKING MURDER AND YOU SAY THAT WHILE YOU'RE PUTTING YOUR MURDER WEAPON IN YOUR HOLSTER. YOU FUCKING HYPOCRITES this isn't even about religion. It's about common sense and not letting people suffer. If a woman is dying on the table and you can save her life, fucking save her life. Don't call her a murderer for wanting to live. You fucking assholes. everyone in Ohio fucking hates this man because of all he has done to his constituents in Ohio. We are all suffering while he isn't. Look what he's done to me with his laws, even the pharmacists I have talked to have said they despise him for all the rules he put in place that is doing nothing but hurting patients who need help. GOVERNOR JOHN KACIC: FUCK YOU AND EVERYTHING YOU STAND FOR, YOU INSIGNIFICANT LITTLE PRICK. I WOULDN'T WISH MY HELL EVEN ON YOU BUT YOU SURE AS HELL DON'T MIND IF I GO THROUGH IT, RIGHT? RIGHT. I wrote my dear old "governor and "a letter (feel free to do so yourselves if you wish) but I know he's not even going to read it. In order to read it, he would have to care and he does not. not to mention that my mother now has no insurance either and she needs brain surgery too. her insurance premiums went up to $666 a month. Pretty fitting number, right? The mark of the devil? Health insurance? Same fucking thing. This is Satans System so it should be marked by Satans number. everyone in the government says the system is bullshit but they don't do anything about it. All the doctor say the system is bullshit but they don't do anything about it. The nurses, the pharmacies, everybody says it's bullshit. But they don't do anything about it. So fuck all of them too. so now on top of the intense pain and worry, I have to worry about going to jail too? I've done nothing wrong but try to survive. And trying to survive has not wrong. I don't know if I've been turned in, if I'll be question, what the penalty is, or if anything will even happen at all. The pharmacist wasn't really clear on what he was going to do. Maybe he just like the whole thing go after I left because he pitied me. maybe he turned me in for fraud but it's not something the government is going to pursue, because maybe they see why I was doing that and that I was just trying to get my prescription filled because of my fucking brain infection. I just simply don't know. But for days now, every time I hear a siren I keep thinking it's the cops coming to raid my house or something. Coming to arrest me. I just can't fucking believe what is going on right now. I am so fed up and exhausted. I am so scared. fuck this entire country. I would give anything to live in a different country, in a country where they care about their citizens and don't let them suffer. Because it Country sure as hell is in America. America and its government does not end it isn't just what I am going through. Did you know there is a drug over in Europe that can cure people of their heroin addiction and eight hours? They are calling at the miracle drug, and drug overdoses have dropped to almost nonexistent numbers across the ocean. But American lawmakers and big Pharma don't bring it over here. Why? Because they can't make money off it. That's the only reason. And what's fucked up is that the government admits that's the only reason. We don't have the patent, someone in Europe does. So if we brought it over here, they would make the money, not us. so they will not bring that drug over here that will cure you of addiction. I am not fucking kidding. they sit there and complain about the opioid and heroin epidemic but then they won't bring the drug over here that can cure it's all simply because they can't make money off it. They would rather people like me and my beloved Monsie have to go through what we go through, and have to go without, instead. That's the worst part. It's all about money. We don't have to be suffering right now but our government is letting us just out of spite and money and fuck America for that. that's proof that lawmakers clearly don't care about the opioid epidemic and the heroine use because they could cure it almost overnight but they won't. Instead, people like me end up in prison for just trying to survive. I have never been more disgusted in my whole life. not only do I have to suffer because of the doctors mistakes, because of the heroin overdoses and the attics to do it, not only do I have to suffer because of my family and because of my government, but I could very well die very soon here when I don't have to because the government is making laws to make it harder on me just because they can't make money off the easy way, and the way that will save lives. America, go fuck yourself. You are a horrible country run by horrible people and I am ashamed to be an American. Shame on all of you. I don't deserve this.

[posijeff-blog]

Chapter 2, Young, Poor, and Jewish In my initial year at UWM  I took two semesters of Biblical Hebrew language under Dr. Bernard Grossfield. Some of that era of the tongue translated to contemporary conversational Hebrew which I was able to use in my daily dialogue with an elderly Palestinian coworker. I went on in the Religious Studies program to study with Rabbi Dana Evan Kaplan who I became friends with. At the time he was writing a book called, American Reform Judaism: An Introduction ( Rutgers University Press) which was to become highly esteemed in academic circles. I never wanted to move from Milwaukee but I knew it was time to travel. I narrowed my destinations down to India and Israel. Israel won out. I met Dana for lunch at Shaharazad restaurant to talk about it. He thought it was a great idea and cool that I had no plans and just a few loose contacts in The Holy Land.  At the time I had very little money. Dana told me exactly what to do. "Go to the old city. People are going to ask you if you are Jewish. Just tell them your mother is Jewish. You know more about Judaism than most Jews." "But I have tattoos. I don't even look Jewish." "I didn't say you were a good Jew" I knew he was right. I needed to turn this head knowledge into experiential knowledge. Without doing so there would be no insight into first hand experience as a Jew. This was education and investigative journalism at once. The more I gave whole heartedly of myself as a Jew, the more I knew about being a Jew, and the more of a Jew I became. Believe your own bullshit. Dana told me some very specific things that came to manifest in Israel. For example, I would meet a guy at The Wall named Jeff Seidel who would ask if I would like a place to stay and I could stay with a religious family and study with them. This came to pass and so did some other interesting things. My first stop was in Tel Aviv where I'd to stay with a punk rocker I met in a punk chat room. Our connection was a n anarchist punk band whose 1994 record I had by some Jewish Israeli's called Nekhei Na'atza AKA Renounce Judaism. Like  a lot of American punk bands, I thought they were fast and thought provoking but if they believed in what they politically espoused they were painting with some broad strokes. To a large degree it was just another shock tactic, one that got them recognition in Israel and on talk shows where religious Jews tried to "deprogram" them. Believe it or not, pre-911 Israel didn't have a lot else going on as far as a hardcore scene.When I arrived the guys at the squat treated me like I was some sort of ambassador. They really rolled out the cat haired red carpet for me. These guys were so crusty one dude's deadlock fell off. I got up from the chair at the kitchen table after my NesCafe and my butt had a mustache. Their record collections were really small and they were stoked to get some presents I had for them  them from the States like the new Shelter, a Sensefield/Jimmy Eat World split 7", EVEL (from Milwaukee), and the Destroy LA 7" from Pressure. They liked the Pressure 7" right away and were pretty open to the other music as well. After taking a walk one of the guys took me aside and told me seriously that that the world would be a better place if the US were blown off the face of the Earth. He wanted me to meet with this guy who he said was the king of the punks in Tel Aviv. I wasn't interested.   There was a lot of partying going on that night in the streets because The Maccabees professional basketball team ( part of the European league) just won a big championship title. I slept for a few hours then sneaked out with all my stuff. I slept on a jungle gym and wound up getting this rash called "wrestlers back" from that or the squat: a bunch of gross boils all over my back. I was low on money from the start so I decided to walk to Jerusalem and hitch hike if need be as I heard it was safe to do so. I calculated in my mind that it was only 40 miles which was way off. But the major roads were lined with grapefruit trees and orange groves. I didn't want to steal so I was eating warm, sun drenched oranges and grapefruit that fell off the trees. I hitched a  ride in a van after the first 15 miles and got into an argument in Hebrew with the driver. It seems hitch hiking in Israel is safe because you are expected to pay. I told him I wasn't going to pay him one shekel since we were going to the same place. He was pissed but didn't kick me out. The kids in the back seat were cool. An orthodox family, one of the young boys asked if I liked Tu Pac. No matter where I seemed to go on this journey Palestinian and Israeli kids seemed to share a love and excitement for Tu Pac. When I got dropped off I found a grocer and bought a bottle of water. I started walking toward sights I'd seen in books: the mosque with the gold dome (which holds the slab of rock Abraham was going to sacrifice Isaac on), The Wall. A conservative guy with a yarmulke, white shirt, and black pants was coming home from work to his apartment and asked me in a New York accent if I was lost. I told him I wanted to get to The Wall before sundown as it was Friday. He invited me up to their apartment where I got to meet his young wife and baby son who I got to hold and play with. He prayed over me and gave me a yarmulke which was not real effective because I had a shaved head. It turned out he knew my friend Raphael's relatives in New York and our mothers were both from Sheboygan. He showed me a a haunting photo of his mom's dad visiting his home town in Latvia that was totally reduced to rubble by the Nazi's. I'm not sure why the guy felt compelled to return. My mother's family is Lithuanian, from that same region of the Europe I knew next to nothing about at the time. The couple sent me on my way with a bag of groceries, mostly native oranges and Israeli chocolates. I was so happy to have food. When I got to the wall it was as predicted I met Jeff Siedel. I wanted to go pray but he wanted to talk to me about the Chicago Blackhawks who were not doing so well at the time. There were so many cute girls there. I looked kind of awful, like a sun burnt skinhead. But the girls were all really sweet and nice to me. Most of them wore long conservative dresses. A few of them kept asking me about my tattoos. There was a group of men praying with some old scrolls. This guy with a beard who was about my dad's age asked if I was married. I told him no. "Well maybe you just haven't met the right girl." "Yeah, well that's the whole trick isn't it." These people were OG. Seidel wrote a name and address on a piece of paper for me of an elderly man and woman who I would have dinner with and stay with. I got to the apartment which reminded me of a clean early 20th century apartment in NYC except cobble stone streets below, less sirens, and more sounds of people praying and singing. The meal itself took hours. I turned down the boiled chicken that was sitting out for three hours. But the wine was delicious. I was really poor at reading from the prayer books in Hebrew but they were patient with me, like loving grandparents. I asked the  man why in earlier times miracles occurred like parting of the red sea. People, as he explained were more in touch with nature, with God then. Even the most depraved person had a sense of reverence for that which could not be explained. Today we credit meteorology as a logical science, more believable than God even while fifty percent of people complain about the weather man getting shit wrong half the time. Perfect Deity, developing science. When it came time to bid farewell the next day I wanted to give the matriarch a hug but there seemed to be some rule against it. But I got a strong sense of love from them and some solid handshakes. They even gave me money. I hit the streets and saw the sights. The hottest chicks around were the Israeli Army girls. All these girls were my age and wore grunge styled army fatigues and held Uzis that were attached to a strap that went around there necks. I guess I have a little Ted Nugent in me. I don't know why but if you put a gun on an already hot girl she becomes totally hot. It's a weird phenomenon. I'm weird. I figured I may as well do something positive with my time. I saw a sign that said "Emergency Clinic" in English then something in Arabic outside the City's Jewish quarter. I had just gotten a CPR and first Aid certification from the American Red Cross before I came over. Maybe they could use some help with all the fighting. I didn't see any bloodshed but there was a really high tension in the air as Jews  interacted cordially yet cautiously with Palestinians and vice versa. I can imagine it was a similar "in the air tonight"  feeling prevalent during the American years of segregation down south. I saw some Arab kids playing with guns, hiding around the corner and shooting at one another. I wondered how long before they would be carrying guns for real. The thought bummed me out. I got to the clinic and it appeared to be run by Muslims because I didn't see anybody there except some shoes on what looked like a Moroccan rug. Out of nowhere two guy ran out of the clinic in white robes pointing Uzis at me. The head guy from the clinic (I was later lead to assume) walked up to me with a Chinese AK and pointed it at my forehead. Realizing I didn't speak their native tongue the head honcho asked what the fuck I was doing there. I told him I was just seeing if they needed any help. It was confusing to him. He grabbed my wrist and asked me what the Hebrew tattoo meant on it. I told him it was one of the Hebrew words for meditation from the Bible. Ironically I got it done in NYC by Tee Schwartz , a skinhead from Milwaukee. Honcho told his buddies to go back in the clinic and started talking to me about meditation. He said his brother was into meditation. He told me to be more careful  because he was about to shoot me. It was all good. To be honest, I did not feel scared for one second. I was on Holy ground. One of my last stops that day was at the Garden of Gethsemane, where Jesus was betrayed by Judas Iscariot. I saw Reggie White from the Green Bay Packers there which was awesome and I got my picture taken with him. Nobody else knew who he was. A few Israeli soldiers thought I was getting my picture taken with him because he was a black giant. They told me there was an even bigger black guy there a few days earlier. What the hell is wrong with these people? It's Reggie White! Seeing him made me homesick. I was already missing Milwaukee, my apartment, and my 13" TV set. I was leaving Jerusalem with more money I had arrived with on account of the nice people I met. I got a shuttle to Tel Aviv and flew to Amsterdam, then home.

#judaism #milwuakee

[girllovescomic]

Winter Begonia episode 32 recap

We start with Lin Danqiu getting hit up for money by the thugs once more, but now his sister, Zeng Aiyu witnesses the exchange. Upon his return to their apartment, she asks about it, wanting to know if he got himself into trouble again. He replies no, claiming these people are old buddies who are short of money after gambling. She seems to believe it and I am like, are you fucking stupid? You really believed that lie? She is incredibly naive for someone, a far cry from the woman we first saw in Beiping. Well apparently she can sense these people are up to no again, so maybe she is not that easily duped. Lin Danqiu reassures that once SXR finishes his performance at the Hanxiang Troupe, they will leave, so don’t think too much about these scoundrels. That makes her happy and she tells him she will book their tickets back home, so he would not back down again. He tells her that once they return to their ancestral home in Yunnan, he will clean it up, then find her a husband to marry.  She is like, big bro, you need to find me a sister-in-law first before setting me up for marriage! He’s like fine, as long as we are not separated again, everything is hokie dokie. Such a nice sibling moment.

Outside in the rain, our Er Ye is waiting patiently in his car for his bae. Said bae finally emerges out of the theater, and Er Ye calls out for his wifey to get inside the carriage. Ahh, he is so protective of his wifey.  Rui Rui invites Lin Danqiu for a ride, but the man declines, stating that his sister will come and bring him an umbrella. Damn, he really likes his meimei.  Rui Rui is a bit envious at all the attention Linzi is getting from his meimei and I am like, Rui Rui, you have a fine thicc daddy doing the same for you! Oh, he actually recognizes that he is equally lucky since he has a fine sugar daddy.  Said sugar daddy is like, well, I will do all of these as long as you don’t beat me to death.  AHAHAHAHA. Oh, the meimei is here and all the men turn to see her.  Oh shit, Er Ye sees who this famed meimei and realizes that is Fengyi’s mom and the cause of his troubles. Lin Danqiu introduces Aiyu to Er Ye and you can guess her reaction.  Meanwhile, Rui Rui sees the pendant on her neck and his eyes widened since it looks a lot like his. Not to raise any suspicion, she acts as if she doesn’t know CFT and tells him she has heard much about him from her brother.  He gets the hint and greets her as if it was the first time they’ve met. Rui Rui stares at her intently and Aiyu notices. 

Er Ye tells Boss Lin they are leaving while Rui Rui seems affected.  Aiyu is equally affected by her reunion with CFT. Rui Rui is rubbing his pendant, lost in thoughts when Er Ye tells Lin Danqiu’s sister name. Rui Rui gets out of his reverie to ask Er Ye to repeat himself. Er Ye obliges not noticing that his bae is distracted. Rui Rui asks who Zeng Aiyu is and Er Ye reveals that’s sperm donor Fan Lian’s mistress and Fengyi’s bio mom.  Rui Rui is stunned, but more than he should, which surprises Er Ye, wondering why his bae has such a strong reaction.  Rui Rui keeps silence, but at night, he seems to have a bad dream while holding his pendant. We see again the footage and see baby Rui Rui walking with his little sister.  He breaks off with his family to watch the opera, but once the opera is over, he goes out to look for them and can’t find anyone. OH NO! POOR BABY. 

The newspaper boy announces the opening show is sold out.  Er Ye calls out the boy to purchase a copy. Rui Rui seems to be pensive while Er Ye tells him about the article, which is apparently more flowery than anything Du Qi would write.  LOL, I can imagine Du Qi yelling at Er Ye for that comment. Er Ye turns to Rui Rui and notices his bae is not paying attention.  He gently taps his head with the newspaper to get him out of his reverie. Rui Rui tells him nothing is wrong. 

 At the theater’s backstage area, we see Rui Rui as the White Snake, which btw, is the main lead of this story, which means top billing. Boss Wang comments that Rui Rui’s presence has drawn 60% more people than before.  Rui Rui comments only 60%? Boss Wang reassures him it’s a good thing considering how Kunqu’s popularity is dwindling. Rui Rui asks about Er Ye, missing his bae. Boss Wang tells him Er Ye went to take care of the reporters.  Rui Rui pouts and says that Er Ye likes to do those unnecessary and excessive stuff instead of keeping him company.  Boss Wang laughs. Rui Rui asks why and...Ok, the next line is one of those line that made me want to throw my phone outside because of how ludicrous it is.  So, Boss Wang comments that despite Rui Rui and Er Ye being close in age (btw, Rui Rui is 25, so Er Ye should be close to mid 30s), their relationship seem that of father-son. GTFO with this ish!!!! OPENING YOUR FREAKING EYES, THEY ARE LOVERS.  L-O-V-E-R-S.  Give me a moment so I can get out of this rage bit.  Alright, Rui Rui replies that he could never have such a serious son and that is hilarious. Boss Wang slightly redeems himself by commenting that Er Ye takes good care of his wifey, thinking about him in everything he does, even calling Boss Wang to tell him about the theater and even tell him about the braised pork shoulder Rui Rui loves to eat before his performance. Boss Wang asks if there is anyone in this world that is this meticulous in taking care of his wifey.  WELP, Er Ye has set the bar too high, how am I going to find a man like this????? Boss Wang continues commenting how Rui Rui persists in doing things his own way and aren’t afraid of anything, like low tickets sales for his Kunqu Opera. However, when he runs into problems, he goes to his husband and discuss the matter with him, and in turn, Er Ye always makes the decision for him.  Boss Wang conclusion is that it is like a kid talking to his elders at home. DAFUQ.  NO bish, this is like a married couple discussing and coming up with solution together.  This is like a husband doting on his pretty little husband.  This is like a man utterly in love who would do everything for his soulmate.  GEEZUS XRIST. Rui Rui replies the way Boss Wang puts it is something he has never heard before and I nod in agreement.  LOL, Rui Rui says he got the short stick in this arrangement.  Leave it to Rui Rui to bring levity in an otherwise ridiculous conversation. I sometime ponder why others are not able to see the love between the two.  Are they too blind? Ugh, whatever. Someone comes to let them know it is showtime and we get to see Rui Rui trademark quirk, calling out Little White Snake fairy.  

While they sing, the other performers comment how faultless their performance is. Lin Danqiu is in full costume, probably playing the White Snake husband or the monk, I am unsure. Another performer comments he has never heard such an amazing rendition of Broken Bridge, but Linzi shushes them. Hmm, it looks like he wishes to continue as an opera performer.  Oh well.  Meanwhile, Zeng Aiyu waits outside, not even bothering to come see her brother perform.  Geezus Xrist. Sorry, but as a performer, a musician, I would be heartbroken to see my family not bothering to support me in my endeavor.  Knowing my parents actually likes what I do, gives me the emotional support that I need.  Anyhoo, her prejudice is keeping her from seeing the sacrifice her brother did to get where he is.  

Back in the backstage area, Boss Wang comments that Rui Rui does not seem to happy. Rui Rui comments that whenever he performs the opera, he felt something was not quite right.  Boss Wang comments the performance was impeccable. Rui Rui tells him the problem is with the audience not responding the way they should at the right cues. He thought he had made a mistake and they were booing.  While Lin Danqiu enters the room, Boss Wang tells him the reason why Broken Bridge was successful the last time he perform with Fairy Godmother was due to Liu Hanyu’s love of Kunqu, thus people not wanting to be on his bad side were far more enthused.  However, in Shanghai, the situation is not the same, and shows how Kunqu is losing its place in the opera circles.  Much like any music, they have their rise and fall, but it has nothing to do with the ju’er’s talent. Lin Danqiu tries to reassure his junior uncle, telling him that as long as people are willing to buy tickets and watch, is enough, don’t bother with their reactions. He also tells him that Rui Rui’s presence drew a big audience, something that wouldn’t happen if it was anyone else and if he were to sing Beijing Opera, it would definitely be a huge draw/full house. Rui Rui slams the table and agrees with Lin Danqiu, however, he is still insistent on singing Kunqu and try to renew the audience interest in it.  Oh my baby, I have a feeling it’s a lost cause. Er Ye finally shows up and Rui Rui asks where hubby has been all this time. Er Ye responds that he was staying outside waiting for him to finish. He invites all three to come and eat at the restaurant, but Lin Danqiu announces that he will be leaving soon with his meimei.  Rui Rui sounds sad, but I have a feeling it has nothing to do with Linzi.  Lin Danqiu tells him that he had initially wanted to accompany Rui Rui during all of his performances but his sister can’t wait. Sigh, I cannot say that I like Zeng Aiyu much, especially her imposing on her brother and taking away his dream to perform with Rui Rui. Oh My GOD, pouty Rui Rui!!! They meet up with Zeng Aiyu and Lin Danqiu bids his adieu to our couple. Aiyu nods to Er Ye, a silent greeting that hides a lot of mitigated emotions. Rui Rui looks at Aiyu intently, which gets Er Ye to comments and misunderstand the gaze that Rui Rui can’t take his eyes from a beauty. COUGH, Er Ye, you do know the only beauty Rui Rui has eyes for is you! Rui Rui throws a temper tantrum and tells him he is not going to eat, instead wanting to go home. Ohhh, baby is mad. Er Ye tells him he was only joking. 

We see him sleeping restlessly again, holding on to the pendant.  The same dream is playing.  After the opera is over, we see a little Rui Rui standing alone, calling out for his parents.  Damn, this is too sad. Seriously, why didn’t the parents just waited for the crowd to disperse to find their son? They just left to look for him elsewhere? I don’t get it.  The next day, hubby is waiting for him for breakfast and notice his wifey is not up yet.  He calls out to him, telling him he has prepared his favorite dishes.  OH MY GOD, SO DOMESTICATED.  Noticing there are no response, Er Ye is worried, since Rui Rui would never ignore food. He goes to the room, but it is empty. OHHHH, where could Rui Rui be?

We see him standing outside a building looking sad.  Oh, it is where Lin Danqiu and Zeng Aiyu is living.  As soon as Lin Danqiu leaves, he approaches Aiyu and gazes upon her pendant.  She asks why is he here? For her brother? She tells him he just missed him.  He replies that he is here for her.  She is surprised to hear that and asks if CFT sent him to look for her.  She tells him that CFT does not have to worry about her breaking her promise about Fengyi.  She tells him that her and ‘brother’ will be leaving for Yunnan and won’t ever cross path with anyone from her recent past. Rui Rui reveals he didn’t come for CFT.  He tells her that CFT never mentioned she had a biological brother.  She chuckles and tells him CFT doesn’t know everything about her, since their relationship wasn’t so deep. Rui Rui also tells her he’s not here for the baby.  She’s like, hmmm, why are you here then? He tells her he is here to help coax Lin Danqiu to remain in the opera since Shanghai does not have many good young ju’er.  To give up all the sacrifice he made over a decade would be a pity. Yeah, I doubt that will work Rui Rui, despite how adorable you look. Zeng Aiyu replies that she remembers Fan Lian telling her that Rui Rui was an opera addict, but reproach him for intruding into her family affairs because of it.  She adds that even though her family has declined, it was written in the ancestral code that no descendent of Zeng is allowed to enter Liyuan.  Damn! The prejudice runs deep! Her anger towards opera performers is also due to her childhood.  He asks why.  She tells him that when she was a child, her and her brother came with their parents to visit relatives.  Due to watching opera, she lost her big brother.  It took 12 years, to find him and during that time, her family fell apart.  So when she hears the noises associated with opera, her heart is filled of hatred. Ok, let’s pause here. When she went to the theater with Fan Lian, trying to seduce Er Ye, didn’t she know she was actually going to watch opera? Like, she could have declined, but she went anyway.  It seems only when she heard the awful treatment opera performers underwent as training that she seems to be upset.  Anyhoo, it is a bit weird. Rui Rui seems affected to hear about the family falling apart and asks about it. She reveals that only her and her older brother are left.  She informs him that after she lost her brother, their mother became ill and never recovered, dying the year after.  When she was 16, her father passed. 

This greatly affects Rui Rui who learns that not only he has found his sister but that his parents died without ever giving him a chance to see him.  I bet if they were alive, they would probably realize Lin Danqiu is not their kid, but oh well. He ask what if her brother isn’t willing to leave the opera troupe, and you can tell he is asking for himself not Danqiu. She tells him it won’t happen since fake brother has already quit Hanxiang Troupe and they are going back to Yunnan. Rui Rui replies, what if fake brother changes his mind because he really loves the opera. Wait, is he talking about himself or fake brother? Zeng Aiyu is incensed and tells him that she will harshly scold and terminate their sibling relationship.  

Well, it looks like the happy reunion is never going to happen Rui Rui. She notices the sadness and heartbreak on his face, but mistake it for fear, as if Rui Rui was scared of her reaction. She apologizes to him and tells him she was simply teasing. Yeah, that didn’t look like teasing at all. She reveals that instead of her trying to convince fake brother to quit, he decided upon himself to do so. Shanghai bund is full of glitter and money, all vices that can corrupt a young man like him who has been living in that kind of environment that encourages fame and money.  Geez, was your family saintly or something.  I guess you had to be to be to make the least amount of effort to look for your child. Oh well, I digress. She tells him that once they return, she can have a simple life, open a small business with fake brother and live a moral life. Gurl, you weren’t that sinless in Beiping.  Whatever, she seems to blame the glitz of these urban centers for her misfortune, but not the bad decisions that her and her family prior did.  Seriously, based on Rui Rui’s dream, I cannot get over the fact the family did not move heaven and earth to look for him. If you knew that he had went to watch the opera singer, why not wait for the crowd to leave to find him.  He stay put until the show was over! Dafuq! She wants to put all of her past behind and start anew, but you can tell it is ripping Rui Rui apart.  Knowing that his only family rejects his passion, his only joie de vivre (well apart from Er Ye), is clearly crushing him and he can’t say anything about it. He changes a bit the subject, talking about the pendant.  She tells him its the family heirloom; when they were young, her and her brother broke it when they were fooling around. Their grandmother had practically divined that breaking the pendant was akin to breaking their family fortune, which came true in a sense.  Their grandmother gave them each a piece, in the hope it will protect them.  However, it didn’t seem to do them any good since her brother still got lost.  Well...Ugh, I won’t even bother. Rui Rui asks if Lin Danqiu has a piece as well and of course she replies that he has lost his.  Not really honey, since he is a fake brother and your real one still carries his close to his chest. GAH, I can’t.  Rui Rui is broken at this moment and I just want to hold him. I am mad because his family did a piss poor job looking for him, his sister is basically rejecting him, mistaking another man for her brother, like wtf? Can you tell the lack of resemblance between you and Lin Danqiu, Zeng Aiyu.  Like, it is one of my biggest gripe in most dramas, especially Asian dramas that feature long lost siblings.  Usually, siblings look similar.  Even if they don’t look similar, they would have inherited some of their parents traits.  Can’t you tell that Lin Danqiu looks nothing like you or your parents? I don’t get it. Gaahhhh, I am frustrated for my baby. Zeng Aiyu asks why he is so interests in her business.  He tells her that he is simply intrigued.  Can we give Andrew Yin Zheng an award for portraying Rui Rui’s restraint form?  HIs maturity has taken leaps and bounds, especially in this situation where he realizes the gain and loss he experiences in a matter of minutes. I feel the enormity of his pain that he cannot let out, having to keep mum which could break an otherwise weak man. Gah, I am crying right now. He tells his bio sister that Er Ye had shared how Fengyi’s name came from the pendant, and also bring out the fact the baby’s name was changed from Fengwei to Fengyi due to the Beiping pronunciation of tail is Yi as in Jia Yi Bing Ding, not Wei, which is probably the way Shanghainese pronounce it. He tells her that he was the one who changed it, and I can hear the pride swell in his heart as he realized that he has renamed his own niece. GAHHHH, I am crying again. She takes a moment to repeat the new name, which makes her smile and cry, telling him it sounds good.  She then says that she should thank CFT for taking care of the baby. She asks how her baby is doing and Rui Rui is quick to let her know how obedient and well his niece is.  He also tells her that hubby and his niece are staying with him at Shuiyin House, but I don’t think she cares to hear, still elated to hear about the well-being of her baby.

Rui Rui is walking in the rain which looks like it is masking his tears and washing away his pain (or trying to). Meanwhile, hubby is drinking, clearly unhappy that his wifey is somewhere else without telling him.  He check his watch, and judging from the dark skies, it’s been a while Rui Rui has disappeared.  Er Ye paces as he wait for his bae.  Rui Rui returns, although we do not see that, and shares with worried hubby that Zeng Aiyu is his real bio sister.  Rui Rui is wearing his white garment and wait...is that..Er Ye’s coat?! KYAAAAAAAAAA.  I cannot with the “they are so married” imagery. STAHP SHOW. He pulls out his pendant and shows it to hubby, telling him he’s been wearing it since he was a child. Er Ye looks at it while Rui Rui shares that he went to see her to take a look. Her pendant and his are a perfect match; his is the head of the phoenix while hers is the tail. Er Ye comments it is too much of a coincidence, then realizes Fengyi is his bae’s biological niece. He asks about Lin Danqiu and what his place in all this.  Is he another sibling that Rui Rui doesn’t know? Rui Rui tells him that’s the issue, he doesn’t remember having a younger brother. He wants Er Ye to help him figure out the connection between Zeng Aiyu and Lin Danqiu, how they came about to believe they are siblings. Like a good doting hubby, Er Ye says yes and asks if Rui Rui has any leads.  He tells him the information he gathered via the performers of Hanxiang Troupe, like the fact that Zeng Aiyu paid off fake brother’s debts to a loan shark called Six Brother. Ohh, Er Ye realizes why she got pregnant and sold Fengyi. This is fucked up. Rui Rui stands up wanting to talk to that Sixth Brother, but Er Ye stops him, asking if he even knows where to find that guy.  Rui Rui tells him he has a mouth under nose, aka he can go around and ask. Er Ye being the voice of logic tells him how is he going to find someone he has no information upon.  By the time he finds out the correct Sixth Brother, both his bio sister and the fake brother will be long gone to Yunnan. Desperate Rui Rui asks what he should do; Er Ye tells him it is too late, but in the morning he will ask his friends at the police station to find out for him. Impatient, Rui Rui sits him down, takes the phone and begs him to call his friend now. Hmmm, their positions are quite suggestive as Rui Rui is on the ground, on his knees, while Er Ye is sitting, as if waiting for bae to give him.....wait, I am getting sidetracked. Er Ye comments how Rui Rui had previously stated that he didn’t care much about his long lost parents, but now he is desperate to find out about his sister and how she got conned by Lin Danqiu. Rui Rui tells him its a different matter and that he’s been dreaming about his childhood a lot lately, feeling unsettled.  He needs to find out the connection between the two. Er Ye gets serious and ask him a very important question.  What would he do if it turns out that she really is his sister and her being adamant that her sibling not remain a performer.  Would he quit for her? Rui Rui is unable to answer. 

We see the Sixth Brother and a cop talking to dashing super sexy Er Ye with Rui Rui standing right behind him.  The cop gives some background info on the thug; his name is Wu Liu and is a big figure in Shanghai underworld. The cop asks if they need help dealing with the thug, but Er Ye is like, nah, we will be find, I have a martial artist as my backup. LOL, Er Ye looks back at his bae who is laser focused on Wu Liu.  Er Ye is like, yeah, my bae is ready for some beat down. They follow Sixth Brother, lol, Rui Rui is walking so fast, Er Ye has to fasten his pace.  They arrive at the same alleyway where Wu Liu went but does not see him.  Then, the thug reappears with his acolytes in tow each holding a bat. He asks if they are looking for him and Er Ye chuckles with his attack penguin right behind him. Er Ye tells him he is looking for information from Sixth Brother.  The thug is like, oh, well, I am an easy going guy, just take some beating and if you are still breathing, then I may grace you with some information. Er Ye is like, oh honey, I ain’t scared, I have a ferocious chipmunk right behind me ready to pounce. He slides away to let the kung fu penguin do his thing. When Sixth Brother hits the penguin face, Er Ye pulls a gun on him.  No one touches my bae’s face! The tough thug turns into a weepy bish as he tells a pissed off Er Ye as he tells him he won some money, which Er Ye takes to pay his bae’s medical fees.  LOL, like he needed that little amount of cash.  Er Ye, you petty. Er Ye asks about Lin Danqiu and Wul Liu feign ignorance until Rui Rui grabs the bat and threatens him with it.  The man spills the beans, telling about Lin Danqiu bad luck with gambling and large debt. Er Ye believes the man set Lin Danqiu to lose, but Rui Rui is not interested in this, he wants to know the connection between his sister and his junior ‘nephew’. The man tells him that two years ago, he found a mark, Zeng Aiyu, who looked like she came from a distinguished family, poised and elegant. He approached her and found out she was looking for her older brother, offering a high reward to anyone who found him.  Er Ye thinks they set up a ploy to con her, but the thug denies it.  He tells Er Ye that Zeng Aiyu had told him that an opera troupe had kidnapped her brother and since Lin Danqiu had a similar background, and apparently matched the description in terms of looks and facial expression (WHAAAAAT), it was a happy coincidence and Zeng Aiyu did not question anything.  Again, I have a problem with this.  Was she so desperate to find her brother that she would just grab anyone who came close to fitting that description? I don’t get it, I really don’t. It robs Rui Rui of an opportunity to reunite with his family, it robs Zeng Aiyu of her real brother. Not only that, but she used her body to help repay that fake brother’s debt, although she claimed to going back to her hometown to raise the money.  But we all know how she actually raised that money. She could have died giving birth to Fengyi. Sigh, I am upset. The thug is tapping himself on the shoulder for doing such a good deed of reuniting the siblings. SIGH. An upset Rui Rui tells the thug to get the fuck out, which the thug and his acolytes oblige. Rui Rui sets out to go after Lin Danqiu, but hubby blocks his path.  Er Ye reasons with him that killing Lin Danqiu and acknowledging Zeng Aiyu will amount to nothing, especially in the face of his bio sister’s sacrifice for a fake brother.  How would she take the truth knowing that she basically prostituted herself and ended up almost dying for someone who is not really her blood?  Geezus, I am crushed guys, I am tearing up writing this.  This is soul crushing to say the least.  Rui Rui so wants to reunite with a family he had long forgotten, but  as Er Ye is trying to tell him, there’s a huge elephant blocking his path.  Tell his sister the truth would kill her. At this point, Rui Rui is so consumed by anger, he doesn’t see what Er Ye is trying to tell him.  He just wants to take back what is his. I don’t blame him.  How would you feel finding your family and learning that someone else has taken your place, adding the fact that your sister went through hell for that imposter? You cannot reason with someone who is already an emotional mess, filled with feelings he has no time to digest, to understand. A man who previously only lived for one thing and had horrible social skills, and is now thrusted into a situation he has no way of dealing with? Er Ye insists on standing in his way, to keep his lover from making a great mistake, but Rui Rui does not back down, even threatening his hubby with the bat. As Er Ye flinches, he takes the opportunity to run away toward the train station.  WHoa, this is the first time Er Ye calls him by his full name. Damn. Rui Rui is in the rickshaw heading toward the station. 

We see the fake siblings at the train station sharing food.  Rui Rui rushes through the station, passing through the guards who try to nab him.  Lin Danqiu tells them he is his junior uncle (Viki got the wrong translation).  Rui Rui stares at his sister, who sees the blood on his forehead from when Sixth Brother hit him. After appeasing the guards, Lin Danqiu asks Rui Rui who did he fight to have this gash.  Rui Rui takes another gaze at his sister and asks Lin Danqiu to follow him for a little chat. Lin Danqiu is a bit confused about Rui Rui’s behavior, telling him they have to hurry so he won’t miss his train. As soon as the door is closed, kung fu penguin is back in action and kicks Lin Danqiu to the ground, then proceeds to beat the shit out of Lin Danqiu. The fake brother begs for mercy and asks why Rui Rui is beating up him, thinking he has gone crazy. Rui Rui asks him if he has no idea of the terrible thing he has done. Lin Danqiu is clueless, until Rui Rui takes out his pendant and throws it at him. He realizes that his junior uncle is the real Zeng son.  Rui Rui is like, now you get it, don’t I have the right to be mad, to beat the shit out of you? Lin Danqiu is like, I didn’t do it deliberately, I was at my wit’s end, with a lot of debt, and was forced by these thugs (BROOOO).  Rui Rui is like, yeah, they forced you, they forced you to make my sister become a showgirl to pay off your debt. Lin Danqiu seems genuinely shocked to hear this.  GAAHHH, Yin Zheng, I will give you all the awards!  His righteous anger, unable to spit it out, but you can tell he wants to curse Lin Danqiu all the way to hell. He tells the fake brother that he not only hit him because he lied to his sister, but also because she went through hell selling her body to pay his debt.  Not only that but the fact he didn’t even question how a young woman like her was able to get such a large sum of money so fast. Lin Danqiu really believed she had sold the ancestral home.  Wait...didn’t you guys have plan to go back to the ancestral home and clean it up? So, if she sold it, how can you make such plans? Dafuq? Unless they had many ancestral homes or...he knew what she did and is feigning ignorance.  I am confused. Rui Rui tells that no, she sold her body, became the mistress of an useless socialite and gave birth to a bastard child. Lin Danqiu is either a better actor that Rui Rui gives him credit for or he truly can’t believe what he has just learned, but Rui Rui tells him it is the utmost truth and that baby is actually staying with him at Shuiyin House after CFT paid 100 000 for it. Lin Danqiu tells him that he didn’t woefully lied to her; the fact is, he was desperate for a family, having been an orphaned for so long.  According to his teacher, his background matched that of Rui Rui’s, so when Zeng Aiyu came with her story, he thought he had found his family, that he was blessed by God.  He felt happy to find a family member, a little sister who overcame so much to find him. 

Sigh, there is so much to offload from this episode. I have already said much of how I felt when I watched it. It is one of those gut-wrenching chapter, where Rui Rui is faced with the truth of his childhood, the discovery of his family, something he had never thought of or even bothered to care for prior.  This is a lot of emotion to thrust on someone who was stunted by horrible treatment to become an opera performer.  Not only that, but to learn that his flesh and blood hates what he has become, hates the only thing that he loves the most, that kept him sane all.  Through all this, Er Ye can only stand by and watch his lover goes through such a painful situation.  He can try to reason or block him, but can’t do much else.  This is Rui Rui cross to bear, It was beautifully executed and acted by Yin Zheng.  Seriously, what an amazing actor he is; you could see the gamut of emotions, the pain, the anger and sadness conveyed in his eyes and facial expressions.  All the applause goes to him.

Also, on the subject of his separation from his family, I have issues with the parents not doing the utmost to find their son.  If it had been me, I would have tore apart the area, moved heaven and earth to find my kid.  The fact that he was left alone, with no parents in sight looking, boggles my mind.  If, according to Zeng Aiyu, they knew that he had been kidnapped by an Opera troupe or that he had gone to see the opera, why not look for the performance stage?  I just don’t get it.