#cried alone in my car parked in my driveway for like 17 minutes | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jawritter · 4 years

Text

You and Me...

Chapter 17

***SERIES WARNINGS**** Rape, non con, male!rape, injury, violence, discription of injury caused by rape, nightmares, self harm, panick attackes, implied female non con, language, ass hole Jensen, hurt!jensen, dark fic, smut. If there is anything else I will add it as I go.

***Chatper Warnings*** Whew okay here we go, self harm, insinuated panic attack, lots of fucking crying, mentions of blood and hospitals, Angst, Fluff if you squint. I think that’s about it.

Pairing: Jensen Ackles x Reader

Word Count: 1901

A/N: As always all mistakes are mine!, Please do not copy my work!! Feedback is gold! I hope you enjoy this one!

Summery: It’s funny how one choice you made can change your whole life. One mistake can alter you course, and set you on a path that forever will haunt you. Two people find themselves getthing through one of the hardest trials of Jensen’s life, on just one small promise. You and Me. We’ll get through it together…

Want more? Check out my masterlist!!

***MASTERLIST***

***YOU AND ME MASTERLIST***

The next morning you found yourself waking up on Alex's couch.

If you could call it really ‘waking up’. You never really went to sleep… You may have dozed off for like 30 minutes, most. You felt numb, drained, and just broken...

"So then he pushed you?" Alex asked, trying to wrap his head around everything that happened last night just like you where.

You’d just gave a small nod, you couldn’t even get your voice to work anymore.

"Well babe I'm no expert, but the poor guy isn't exactly stable... You kind of hit a nerve, and he just reacted. I don't think he did it on purpose." Alex said, and you knew he was right, but you were too embarrassed to go back to Jensen's right now.

Everything felt so… raw… like salt in an open wound raw..

What if he didn’t want to see you again, what if he can’t forgive you for leaving him, what if it’s over between the two of you, and now he has to go through all that shit he’s been going through alone, and it’s all your fault...

Picking up your phone you checked it for the first time since you walked out of Jensen’s door last night. You had over 80 missed calls from Jensen. Your voice mailbox was full. The same message every time. Jensen, telling you how sorry he was, that he loved you, and wanted you to come home.

Begging, crying, some of the messages you could barely even make out what he was saying.

"I know you're right. I pushed him, I shouldn’t have pushed him. I feel so fucking stupid.” You say, looking through your call log.. Noticing that they stopped somewhere around 4 this morning.

"Well my opinion on the whole situation is the two of you were just under way too much stress. Causing you both to over react. It's not abnormal for people that have been through the trauma that he's been through to have to take some sort of pills for nerves and stuff, and it’s not uncommon for them to act out the way he did when you struck a nerve with him last night. You hit him where it hurts" Alex’s wife said, sitting down on the arm of the couch next to you.

You knew she was right. Which only made you feel horrible for the things you had said to Jensen last night.

He wouldn't want you back. You must have hurt him badly. Striking where you knew he was weak, just because you were upset that you found the pills, and jumped to conclusions. That’s why he stopped calling at 4 this morning, he’s done with you.

Well that’s what your head was screaming at you anyway.

A loud knock on the front door jarred the three of you from your conversation.

"I got it," Alex said, getting up and opening the front door.

Of all the people that you thought you would see when he opened the door, Jared wasn't who your money was going to be on.

"Jared?" You said, shocked, sitting your coffee cup down on the table in front of you, and standing to your feet. "How the hell did you find me?" You asked him.

"Well, the last thing you said to Jensen last night was that you were going to Alex's. I remember you telling me about an Alex you know that owned a bar. I got to the bar and the girl behind the bar was more than willing to tell where Alex lived to a 'successful movie star' like myself." He said, his voice annoyed, but still dripping with sarcasm.

Alex turned to his wife, eyes narrow and mouth pressed into a thin line.

"Remind me to fire her." He said, stepping back letting Jared in.

"Come on y/n, i'll buy you breakfast, we need to talk in private." You dropped your gaze to the floor. You knew you were in for it, but you also knew you deserved it.

Turning around you hug Alex and his wife, thanking them for letting you stay the night. Jared grabbed your bag, and the two of you made your way to a small café just outside the apartment complex that Alex lived in.

You had never seen Jared this quite, or this serious, and it was unnerving.

When the two of you had ordered, and the waitress disappeared, he finally spoke.

"So, you wanna tell me what the hell happened between the two of you last night? My best friend calls me, crying so hard that I couldn't understand him, telling me that he'd pushed you, and that you'd left him... When I finally got his front door open, I find him on the floor bleeding in the bathroom."

He reaches in his pocket and throws his phone across the table to you. You picked it up slowly, and looked at the photo's there. There were pictures of Jensen arms. Long deep cuts littered each wrist, almost all the way up his forearms. Clearly taken at the hospital right before the doctor stitched him up.

"I left the ER and brought him home about an hour ago. They had to stitch up about five of those cuts on each arm." Jared said, he was angry, and you were in shock..

"Why did he do this?" You asked, trying to swallow back the tears that threatened to spill over, and the nausea that pulled hard at your stomach.

"We don't really know for sure…. Some sort of self mutilation... Said he'd hurt you, so he deserved to hurt. I don't think he was trying to kill himself, and after a talk with the inhouse therapist at the hospital neither do the doctors, even though he came damn close to doing just that. It seems he was just trying to inflict pain. Some sort of self harm." Jared said.

You close your eyes and rub your face. You didn't know what to say, what to think. Your heart hurt so much. This was your fault, you overreacted, and it literally almost killed him..

"You know he didn't mean to shove you, he's not well. You pushed a button, and he just reacted. He'd rather die than hurt you, you know that." Jared said, after the waitress left your food on the table.

"Where is he now?" You asked, afraid he was alone, and still not in good mental place. You couldn’t stop your hands from shaking.

"He's at his house. Gen is staying with him until we come back.... Assuming that you're going to come back." Jared said, looking at you like a father looks at his kids when they've done something stupid, and that the moment you felt like a stupid kid for the way you had acted, and now Jensen was hurt, and it was your fault.. If you could literally kick yourself in the face you’d do it.

"Yeah, I'm coming back..I overreacted...This is my fault.” Taking a deep breath you try to stabilize yourself.

“I still love him Jared, I don't want to leave him. I just don’t know if he wants me back." You tell him. Shoving your food around your plate with a fork to keep your hands busy in an attempt to try, and keep yourself from bawling like a baby in a crowded restaurant.

"Oh he wants you back. He literally cried himself to sleep by the time I got him home. Poor guy was so hysterical that they didn’t want to release him from the hospital, but telling him that he could go home so that I could go find you was the only way I could get him to calm down." He said, stuffing food into his mouth, seemingly satisfied that you agreed to go back to Jensen.

"Let's just go. I can't eat." You tell him, standing from the table. Too nauseated to even attempt at eating anything..

"Go ahead. I'll meet you there. The two of you need some time alone." He said, turning back to your plate as you gathered up your stuff.

"Oh and y/n." He said, causing you to stop and turn around. "Don't let stress get to you guys like that again. Be patient with him. That man is crazy about you. If he lost you for good, it'd kill him, and I don’t intend to bury my best friend any time soon." With that he turned back around to his food, and you tried to swallow the lump in your throat, making your way back to your car that was still parked at Alex’s building.

-----------------------------------------

Pulling up into Jensen's driveway the sense from the night before play in your head, making you feel that much worse.

It was like a horror movie that was stuck on repeat in your head....

You had to make yourself get out of the ca,r and make your way to the front door. When you walked through the front door Gen smiled, and hugged you tightly.

"I'm glad you came back." She said, then walking toward the door. "I'll give you two some alone time. He's asleep right now in the master bedroom, but if you need me, just call. Jared and I will be back buy later to check on you guys." She said, showing herself out before you could even so much as nod.

Taking a deep breath you slowly make your way toward the room where your world almost fell apart last night.

Each step felt like a heavy weight was attached to your ankles, and it took all you had to just put one foot in front of the other.

Opening the door to the master bedroom you see a heap of cover laying on the bed. Slowly you close the door, and walk around to his side of the bed.

He looked horrible, even in his sleep. He was pale, his eyes were swollen from crying, his face was read and raw from constant rubbing. You felt like you wanted to just die right there, he’d been through so much already, you never wanted to cause him any more pain.

Pulling the cover back slowly you slide in right next to him.

He woke up instantly.

Wrapping his arms tightly around you like if he loosened his grip you'd disappear. Even though his injured arms must have been screaming at him..

"I'm sorry...I'm so, so sorry!!" He said, tears streaming down his face. His arms were bandaged, and it made you sick to know what caused him to do that was you leaving him.

"No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that stuff to you. I overreacted, I shouldn’t have pushed you like that and jumped to conclusion." You tell him, tightening your grip on him as best as you could.

You don't know how long the two of you laid there like that, but you were sure that you'd never walk out like that on him again.

This man was your heart, he was your reason for being, and you were his. You definitely vowed to never fight with him again. You'd find a different way to work out your problems, but fighting caused this. Fighting hurt you both last night. So what good did it do. It didn't solve anything that's for sure.

After a long time without speaking Jensen finally put his lips lightly to your forehead. "I love you, please don't leave me like that again."

"I love you too. I'm not going anywhere ever again. I promise"

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Tag List: @screechingartisancashbailiff @thecreatiivecorner @aflamboyanceofgays @deanwanddamons @imabitch4jensen @rvgrsbrns @bi-danvers0 @onethirstyunicorn @i-love-superhero @akshi8278 @alanegaming @magssteenkamp @lemondropirwin @squirrelnotsam @hobby27 @spnbaby-67 @mrsjenniferwinchester @defenderrosetyler

Series Tag List:

@idksupernatural

@fuzzycloudsz

@supernatural-bellawinchester

@vicmc624

@imaginationisgrowth

@smoothdogsgirl

@stoneyggirl

@whiskeydreamingx

@doctorlilo

@deans-baby-momma

@ricanqueen20

@supraveng

@allonsy-yesiwill

#jensen ackles #jensen ackles x reader #jensen ackles x you #jensen ackles fanfiction #jensen ackles fanfic #jensen ackles fic #jensen ackles dark fic #dark!fic #hurt!jensen #jensen x you #jensen x reader #spn fanficiton #spn dark fic #spn fiction #jawritter #you and me

138 notes · View notes

crescentmoon223 · 5 years

Text

Two Worlds Collide Chapter 16

Read it on AO3 | Rated: NC-17 | Stella x Scully

Chapter 16

CW: references to child abuse

(read it from the beginning here)

Stella was sure she’d paced a groove into the floor of the cabin by the time she heard the car pulling into the driveway. She’d sat with her laptop for an hour or so, catching up on work, but after Scully’s tearful call from the bathroom of her son’s birthday party, she’d more or less done nothing but wander about the cabin, fidgeting endlessly with her phone to be sure she didn’t miss a call or text. None came, which she hoped was a good sign.

As Scully parked outside, Stella steadied herself, fussing with her hair and smoothing out her blouse. Scully walked through the door, red hair cascading over her shoulders, so beautiful that Stella forgot whatever she’d planned to say.

Scully gave her a shaky smile, and then she was in Stella’s arms, her tears giving way to great soul-shattering sobs that tore at the fibers of Stella’s heart. She held on to her, stroking her back, her hair, her cheeks, as Scully released all the emotions she’d held inside during the party. She cried until the shoulder of Stella’s shirt was saturated with her tears, until her eyes were red and swollen, until finally she just held on to Stella, breathing against her neck, chest spasming from the intensity of her tears.

“It’s okay,” Stella murmured, kissing the tears from her cheeks. “I’ve got you.”

“He…I…” Scully shook her head against Stella’s shoulder, still unable to speak. After a minute, she reached into the back pocket of her jeans and pulled out her phone, showing Stella a smiling photo of herself with a boy that was so unmistakably her son, Stella herself gasped.

“Oh, Dana.” She wiped fresh tears from Scully’s cheeks as they both stared at the photo.

“I know.” She touched the photo with her finger as if remembering the moment. “I still can’t quite believe it happened.”

Stella guided her to the couch, and they sat. “Do you want to talk about it?”

She nodded, a smile tugging at her lips as she swiped a hand over her eyes. “It was hard, so hard, but…oh, Stella, he’s such a great kid.”

“Well, of course he is.”

Scully blew out several long, slow breaths, composing herself. “It was a little awkward at first—Will even said so—but overall I don’t think it could have possibly gone any better. The Van De Kamps were very gracious about the whole thing, and Will seemed happy to meet us.”

“I’m so glad.” Stella rested a hand on Scully’s thigh as she swiped through photos on her phone, showing Stella pictures of Will blowing out the candles on his cake and playing baseball with Mulder. “It’s really good that he came,” she commented as Scully showed her a picture of Mulder with his hands over Will’s, showing him how to grip the bat.

Scully nodded. “This was a really big deal for him. You know, he only got to spend two days with William after he was born before he had to go into hiding. So, I can only imagine what it meant for him to get to teach his son how to bat.”

Scully relaxed into the couch, eyes closed, head against Stella’s shoulder, looking wrung out but peaceful. “I told him about you,” she said after a minute, smiling without opening her eyes.

“Mulder?” Stella felt an uncomfortable pinch in her chest. She’d tried hard all afternoon not to let herself think about Scully and Mulder together with their son, bonding, reminiscing, sharing so many important memories and making new ones. Perhaps this experience would bring them back together. Perhaps it should. Perhaps Stella was driving a wedge between them just by being here.

Scully nodded. “He was surprised, to say the least.”

“I’m sorry,” Stella murmured.

“For what?” Scully gave her a quizzical look from beneath puffy eyelids.

“For coming between you today. You should probably be with him right now.”

“I’m right where I want to be.” Scully lifted her head to place a tender kiss on Stella’s cheek. “He asked me to get a drink with him afterward, and that felt wrong, but I think I’ll see if he’d like to get coffee tomorrow, if he’s still around. We should probably talk about everything that happened today.”

Something cold washed over Stella, and suddenly she was the one who wanted to cry. “Everything that happened?”

“The party,” Scully clarified. “Seeing our son. It was a lot to process, and he’s doing it alone.”

Stella was quiet, trapped in her own discomfort with the situation, not sure what to say.

Scully snuggled closer against her. “Seeing him today only reinforced that I’m not in love with him anymore, in case you were worried about that.”

“I wasn’t worried,” Stella said, hating that she’d been so transparent.

“He’s like family. I care about him…a lot, and he’ll always be a part of my life in some way. But I don’t want to kiss anyone but you.” She turned her face toward Stella’s, bringing their lips together. Scully slid into her lap, straddling Stella’s thighs as she kissed her properly. “I don’t think I could have made it through today without you.”

“Yes, you could. You would have.” Stella gripped Scully’s hips, drawing her closer, pressing their bodies together.

“But I’m so glad I didn’t have to.” Scully looked down at her, eyes brimming with emotion and affection, everything Stella had never wanted and was now terrified she couldn’t live without. “Stella, I—”

“Shh.” She closed her lips over Scully’s, swallowing the words she was afraid to hear, turning them into fuel for the fire burning between them. She pushed Scully flat on the couch and showed her how much she meant to her, and then she melted into the cushions beneath her as Scully returned the favor, putting that wickedly talented tongue to good use.

Afterward, they worked together in the kitchen, making a pizza with the frozen dough Stella had picked up at the grocery store yesterday. They took their supper onto the back deck with a bottle of wine and sat on the cushioned lounge chairs there to watch night fall over the forest.

“I guess there’s a certain charm to being out here in the woods,” Stella said, plucking at a strand of cheese that dangled from her pizza slice.

“Can’t do this in a hotel.” Scully looked up at the patch of sky visible through the branches overhead.

Stella opened her mouth to make a retort about room service but changed her mind. “No, you can’t.”

“Those years when I lived in that house in the middle of nowhere with Mulder…I got to a point where I hated it. I hated it so much, I couldn’t remember the things I had loved about it when we first moved in. Like this.” She stretched out in her chair, feet crossed in front of her.

“I’ve never lived outside the city,” Stella confessed.

“Really?” Scully turned her head to look at her. “Then I’m extra glad I insisted on the cabin.”

“You’re indoctrinating me into nature.”

Scully looked at her, eyes glowing with the reflection of the sunset overhead. “I’m going to indoctrinate you into all kinds of things.”

And that was exactly what Stella was afraid of.

***

Scully was so tired she might fall asleep right here in her lounge chair behind the cabin. It was the dizzying kind of exhaustion that came after an emotionally draining day, but there was a sense of peace in her soul now, a calmness where before there had been so much turmoil and unrest.

“I’ve never seen so many stars before,” Stella said softly from beside her.

Scully stared at the swath of sky visible through the canopy of trees overhead. “I wish we could see more of the sky from here. I bet we’d be able to see the Milky Way. It would blow your mind.”

“You already blew my mind.” Stella gave her a suggestive look, keeping the tone between them light. “But yes, I suppose it would be nice to see the Milky Way.”

“I’m sure we could see it from the beach,” Scully said, burrowing deeper beneath the blanket Stella had draped over her. “But I’m too tired to move. Let’s walk down tomorrow night.”

“Is it safe to walk down that path at night?”

“Detective Superintendent Gibson, are you afraid of bears?” Scully asked teasingly.

“I’m not keen on becoming supper for any of the beasts of the forest, no,” she said. “And neither of us is armed this weekend.”

“I’m not sure a handgun would stop a grizzly bear anyway.” Scully laughed softly at the alarmed look Stella tossed in her direction. “I think you need a rifle.”

“Fuck off,” Stella said. “You’re just trying to scare me.”

“No, I’m not. Google it.”

“You know what, on second thought, we can see plenty of stars right here.”

“We could stop in town for bear spray tomorrow, if it makes you feel better.”

“Bear spray?” Stella’s voice rose comically.

“The smell is supposed to repel them.”

“Sounds lovely.” Stella turned her gaze toward the sky.

“Stella for star,” Scully whispered, and beside her, Stella stiffened, her body suddenly carved from granite, a layer of ice over her gaze. The teasing air between them evaporated into the cool night air. Scully reached for her hand, not quite sure what had happened. “Sorry.”

“It’s all right,” Stella responded, her tone distant. “I just…I don’t like it.”

Stella for star. That’s what had upset her?

Scully was silent for a moment, mind spinning as she tried to imagine what the significance might be, already knowing she wouldn’t like the answer. She also knew that if she didn’t push, Stella wouldn’t elaborate, and Scully had shared so many painful things with her, had let Stella hold and comfort her through one of the toughest days of her life, and maybe it was time for Stella to share something in return.

“Who called you that before me?” she asked, taking the risk and hoping it paid off.

“Paul Spector.”

That fucker. Scully reached for Stella’s hand and gave it a squeeze. “And before him?”

Stella was quiet for so long Scully had decided she wasn’t going to answer, so long she wondered whether she’d been wrong in her assumption or whether Stella simply wasn’t ready or able to tell her. Her hand slipped from Scully’s, disappearing beneath the blanket as she tucked her chin, eyes locked stubbornly on the stars above. “My stepfather.”

“Oh,” Scully breathed. Oh. Damn. Fuck. Oh Stella… For a moment, she wished she hadn’t pushed for the answer, and then she hated Stella’s stepfather for what he’d done, and then she just wanted to hold her. Scully rolled onto her side, reaching for Stella, but she pushed her away, body rigid against her touch. “Stella, I am so sorry.”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I know.” She brushed away fresh tears. “I just…can I hold you?”

Stella was silent, but she slid sideways in her chair just slightly, making room for Scully to crawl in beside her, and she did. She tucked herself beneath Stella’s blanket, arms wrapped around her, nose against Stella’s neck, breathing in her scent.

They lay like that for a long time as the forest creaked and rustled around them. Stella gradually softened against her, relaxing into her embrace, accepting her touch and trusting her not to push farther into places Stella didn’t want to revisit. Scully knew that Stella didn’t give this kind of trust easily—if ever—and she was overwhelmed by the power of it.

She loved Stella so much. If this trip had taught her anything, it was that family took many shapes and forms—as did love—and she wanted to celebrate all of it. Sometime before they flew back to London on Monday, Scully was going to find the perfect moment to tell Stella how she felt. Lying there, wrapped in Stella’s arms beneath a blanket of stars, she wondered if there would be a better moment than this one. “Stella…”

As if she’d read Scully’s mind, Stella seamlessly changed topics, tugging at Scully’s hand. “Come on. Let’s go inside.”

“But I’m so tired,” she protested, squeezing her eyes shut.

“You got me to stay in a cabin, but there’s no way I’m sleeping outside with the bears.” Stella stood, lifting the blanket so that cold night air greeted Scully’s previously cozy warm skin.

She started to grumble, but she was so glad to hear the teasing tone back in Stella’s voice that she held it in. “Okay.”

They went inside, bringing the remains of their dinner with them. They were quiet as they got ready for bed, but it was a comfortable silence, punctuated by affectionate glances and bodies touching as they moved around each other in the bathroom. When they slid into bed beside each other, Scully leaned in for a kiss, pressing a hand over Stella’s newly mended ribs, wishing she could heal the rest of her as easily.

“Did he go to prison?” Scully asked softly.

Stella’s breath hitched beneath her palm. She turned her face toward the wall, but she didn’t pull away. “No, but I caught a lot of others.”

Scully thought of the little girl in the dumpster fourteen years ago, the way Stella had come to her hotel room that night, the haunted look in her eyes and her unflinching determination to put the girl’s stepfather behind bars. Now, Scully understood. She wrapped her arms around Stella, nestling her face into the soft depths of Stella’s hair, waiting for her to settle again the way she’d done outside.

Finally, Stella rolled toward her, pressing her lips to Scully’s in the dark. They held on to each other for a long time, just breathing in the unspoken love and trust between them. Scully had never felt closer to anyone in her whole life.

“Thank you,” she whispered as her eyes drifted shut, leaving the interpretation of that up to Stella, but any way she took it wouldn’t be wrong, because Scully was grateful for every moment that had transpired between them.

That night, she slept deeper than she had in days, anchored by the woman beside her. She woke the next morning with her heart comfortably full of memories she’d made yesterday with William and a newfound sense of intimacy with Stella. The bed was empty, and the smell of coffee drifted from the kitchen.

Scully reached for her phone, tabbing through the photos she’d taken at Will’s party, pausing on the picture of them together. Will knew her now. She’d spoken to him and hugged him and watched him blow out the candles on his birthday cake. Once she was back in London, she’d write a letter to the Van De Kamps, properly expressing her gratitude.

With a happy sigh, she got up and went into the bathroom, wrapping her lavender robe around herself before she went in search of Stella. She found her in the living room in her own robe, typing away at her laptop, probably solving a murder case from four thousand miles away.

“Morning,” Scully said.

Stella looked up at her with a smile. “Good morning.”

“Ready for our nature day?” she asked, purposefully needling her, hoping to put to rest any residual discomfort Stella might harbor about the things she’d shared last night.

Stella arched an eyebrow as she returned her gaze to her laptop. “You go ahead. I’ll catch up.”

“As if I’d let you off that easily.” She sat on the couch beside her, eyeing the Metropolitan police logo on her screen. “All work and no play…”

“Piss off,” Stella said. “I have to catch up on some paperwork.”

“Okay, you do that while I cook us breakfast, because we’re going to need fuel in our bellies for hiking.”

Stella slid her hungry gaze over Scully’s robe. “I can think of better ways to burn that fuel.”

“We’ll do that too…later.” Scully stood before Stella was able to successfully distract her and walked into the kitchen. “Omelet sound good?”

Stella nodded, returning her concentration to her laptop while Scully busied herself at the stove, whipping up two omelets with cheese and spinach, lots of protein for all their upcoming activities—both indoor and out. They ate together at the kitchen table before Stella wandered into the bedroom to get dressed while Scully cleaned up in the kitchen.

A few minutes later, Stella walked back into the living room. Scully’s mouth fell open, and she pressed a hand over it to stifle a giggle. Stella had on crisp gray athletic pants with zippered pockets over her thighs and a black button-down shirt tucked into her pants that looked like…was that flannel? She’d finished it all off with black leather hiking boots.

Scully crossed the room and rubbed a hand over Stella’s shoulder. Yep, flannel. “Wow, Stella. This is a look.”

Stella fluffed her hair, looking down her nose at Scully as if the boots gave her an extra six inches, instead of one. “Isn’t this what one wears to go hiking?”

“We’ll call it hiking couture.” She grinned, still stroking Stella’s flannel-clad shoulder.

Stella gave her an exasperated look. “For fuck’s sake.”

Scully laughed all the way into the bedroom, calling over her shoulder as she began looking around for her own hiking clothes, “But really…flannel?”

“It’s a cotton weave,” Stella shot back. “Would you prefer I hiked in silk?”

“No, no. I like the flannel.”

***

Stella wasn’t built for hiking. Her feet hurt from the unfamiliar boots, and her shoulders ached from the backpack, not to mention the sweat trickling down her spine. Beside her, Scully’s ponytail bounced against her neck as she chattered happily about the things they’d seen so far.

Trees and rocks. So many fucking trees and rocks.

Stella would have been perfectly content to see them in photos, but she was trying her hardest to be a good sport for Scully’s sake. Holding in a sigh, she swiped at her brow. She’d long since removed the shirt that Scully had found so amusing, now wearing only a form-fitting black tee tucked neatly into her pants.

“I think this is it,” Scully announced, leading the way around a bend in the trail. “Just up here.”

Stella scrambled over several more rocks, following her, and then they were standing at the summit. Before them, the trail ended in a panoramic overlook, revealing immense peaks with sheer rocky races and their lake glittering in the valley below.

“Wow,” Scully breathed, sliding her hand into Stella’s.

Even Stella, sweaty and irritable as she was, had to admit the view was breathtaking. Especially when it included the woman beside her, hair gleaming ruby-red in the sunlight, cheeks flushed from exertion, satisfied smile on her face as she took in their surroundings.

“Perfect spot for a picnic, isn’t it?” Scully slipped off her backpack, unzipped it, and pulled out a blue-checked blanket, which she spread over the ground before them.

“Yes.” Stella sat beside her.

Scully reached for her backpack to begin laying out their food, but Stella was faster, pressing her down to the blanket as she climbed on top of her, hips straddling Scully’s. “I worked up quite an appetite during our hike.”

“Did you?” Scully cocked her head, seamlessly following Stella’s change of topic. “Must have been the heat from all that flannel.”

“It’s cotton, and I do wear it on occasion.” She rolled her hips against Scully’s, causing her to suck her bottom lip between her teeth, hands going to her hair as she looked up at Stella.

“I think this Wyoming air has gone to your head,” Scully teased, arching her back, nipples hard beneath her shirt, blue eyes sparking with mischief.

“That’s entirely possible.” Stella kept moving, rocking their hips together, teasing them both as she tossed her head back, sucking in more of that mountain air. It smelled like earth and wildflowers, sounded like the wind through Scully’s red hair and the whisper of her breath in Stella’s ear right before she came. It felt heady and intoxicating, almost like a drug.

She reached between them, unbuttoning Scully’s jeans. Scully lifted her hips cooperatively, helping Stella tug them down. She slipped her hand inside Scully’s underwear, finding her already wet. “Guess you worked up an appetite too,” she said as she brought her lips against Scully’s, claiming her mouth as her fingers claimed her pussy.

“Mm,” Scully moaned into her mouth, hips moving against Stella’s hand. “Always hungry for you. Always.”

“I thought so.” She fucked Scully hard and fast, and as she cried her release into the mountaintops, Stella lost her breath at the sight. “So beautiful,” she whispered.

“So are you,” Scully countered, rising onto her knees as she rolled Stella to the blanket. “Your eyes are the color of the sky, and your hair…when the breeze blows through it, it’s like spun gold.” Her hands worked open Stella’s pants, pushing them down her hips. “I love when you’re not wearing makeup, and I can see all your freckles.” She kissed her way over Stella’s chest. “Even more beautiful in the sunshine.”

Stella closed her eyes, putty beneath Scully’s eager fingers, heart racing, body burning, ears buzzing at the word “love” on Scully’s lips.

“I love the way you look when you’re this turned on,” Scully whispered as she pushed two fingers inside her, making Stella gasp. “Your cheeks are flushed, and there’s this look in your eyes that’s almost…feral. It’s hot.”

Stella opened her eyes, meeting Scully’s gaze. Right now, she felt feral, lust and need sweeping through her veins, throbbing in her core as Scully fucked her.

“I love the sounds you make when you’re about to come.” Scully arched her fingers, hitting Stella’s G-spot as her palm pressed perfectly against Stella’s clit.

She gasped, hips grinding against Scully’s hand, moaning as the energy built inside her, lighting her up as brightly as the sun blazing overhead before shattering her into a million blissful pieces in Scully’s arms. “Fuck,” she panted as sparks of pleasure burned through her blood, making her tremble.

Scully leaned down and kissed her. “I love you, Stella.”

“Fuck,” she whispered against her lips, still buzzing with pleasure as tears leaked from her eyes, rolling into her hair. “Dana…”

“You don’t have to say anything.” Scully kissed her again, hard and fierce. “I just needed you to know.”

She pulled Scully against her, foreheads pressed together, lips seeking, bodies touching everywhere. She’d been running from those words all weekend, and now that Scully had said them, Stella felt like she’d been filled with sunshine, hot and bright, as wonderful as it was terrifying. Her hands shook as she cupped Scully’s face between her palms. “I love you too.”

As soon as the words were out, she wanted them back. They left her feeling vulnerable and exposed, an intensely uncomfortable sensation. But then she looked into Scully’s eyes. She saw the surprise, the joy, the adoration there, and a sense of peace settled over her. Stella loved so rarely, maybe it was okay to acknowledge on occasion. Surely Scully deserved this moment. It didn’t have to change anything between them once they went home.

“Oh, Stella.” Scully was crying now too. They were both crying, kissing, tears mingling on their faces, salt on their tongues and love in their hearts.

“I don’t know what to do about it,” Stella whispered, heart pounding against Scully’s chest, skin prickling as if it had grown too tight for her body.

Scully gave her a smile, so beautiful and pure Stella melted beneath its power. “Just feel it. That’s all.”

#Two Worlds Collide #fanfic #Stella x Scully #stella and scully #The X Files #The Fall #Stella Gibson #Dana Scully

8 notes · View notes

norequestimagines · 6 years

Text

Soft Place to Land [1/1]

{Billy loves Rachel. Rachel loves Billy. Rachel’s dad loves her. He does not love Billy.}

"You are forbidden from seeing that Hargrove boy, do you understand me?!" Her father was cut off by the sound a door slamming upstairs. Rachel had been caught. Again. She knew her dad didn't like her seeing Billy. Everyone in Hawkins knew her dad didn't like her seeing Billy. He was bad news. Fast car, leather jacket, and serious anger issues. A boy like Billy had no business with a girl like Rachel. According to her father, at least. She was frustrated. No other word encapsulated how she felt. Just completely and totally frustrated. She and Billy were so careful! They never spent time at her house or his. They didn't even hang out in Hawkins, for heaven's sake. At school, they pretended the other didn't exist, which all but drove both of them crazy. But her mom, Carolyn, was an administrator at the school, and they just couldn't risk it. They arranged meeting places and times through locker notes, left when no one was looking. Fate, as it would seem, just wasn't on their side. Rachel and Billy had decided to meet for lunch and a movie, three towns over. They were halfway through their shared milkshake when the door bursted open, drawing everyone in the diner's attention, including the two teens. "YOU!" Her father's finger was pointed right at Billy. "What the hell do you think you're doing with my daughter?!" This was not the first run in Billy had with Brad. He'd repeatedly been told to stay away from her, and it was becoming clean that Brad's fuse was getting shorter and shorter. "Listen, Sir, I didn't-" Billy held his hands up in a surrender. "You shut the hell up! You are not the kind of boy I want Rachel around and you know that! You think you can lure her away from home, to what? Take advantage? Huh? Is that you're plan?!" Brad's arms were flailing wildly, fueled by his anger. He was red in the face and not calming down. Billy recoiled, the sight reminding him of his own father. "Sir, I would never dream of-" the boy started at the same moment Rachel spoke up, "Dad, no! That's not what-" Brad saw who he could only assume was the diner manager on his way to diffuse the situation and knew he needed to reign himself in. "Both of you, just stop. Rachel, I'm parked across the street. Go." The young girl looked across the table and her boyfriend, tears in her eyes, her lip quivering. "It's okay, Rach, go." Billy mumbled, tears in his own. I love you, he mouthed. She mouthed her affections back to him before standing and walking out in front of her dad.

After listening to him rant the entire drive home, she leapt out of the car the moment he pulled into the driveway. She completely ignored her mom when she walked past her on her way to the staircase, stomping her way up. Brad was hot on her tail the whole time, only stopping at the bottom of the stairs but continuing to yell. Once her heard her door slam, he went silent. Sure, they've argued before. They've argued over Billy before. But he'd never seen her so angry with him, and it hurt. Maybe that was part of the reason he got so mad at her- because she'd rather her own father be angry with her if it meant she could be around that hooligan. He didn't understand her. Brad grew up in Hawkins and worked alongside Hopper at the station. He knew all about Billy's background. Kicked out of two schools for fighting, speeding ticket after speeding ticket, grades in the dumpster. He would never be good enough for his Rachel. Rachel was always a good kid, always! Kept her head down and stayed out of trouble. Always worked her butt off to get straight A's. She was so smart, so why was she being so stupid, hanging around that Hargrove kid? He was in the same town they were, doing extremely last minute Christmas shopping. It was Christmas Eve and he couldn't find a ham anywhere. When he saw Rachel and Billy through the window of that diner, he completely lost it. Sure, looking back, he knew he way overreacted, but he couldn't admit that to anyone but himself. Just like he couldn't admit the reason he didn't like Billy. Billy Hargrove reminded Brad Anderson way too much of himself when he was 17. He was always getting into fights at school. Always arguing with teachers, getting kicked out of class. Always totaling cars, drinking underage, not listening to any kind of authority. He knows he wasn't any good when he was a kid, and his little girl deserved better than that. Upstairs, Rachel was a wreck. She threw herself across her bed, bawling into her arms. She wasn't an idiot, she knew Billy was bad. But she knew so much more than that. She knew what his dad did to him. She knew he didn't want to be the way he was. She knew he had a side that was so gentle and soft and loving. Billy had a hard time showing that side of himself but he was learning. He had so much good in him, he just needed someone else to see that. And Rachel did. She had hopes of exchanging gifts in the diner, after they had finished lunch, since she knew they wouldn't get to see each other tomorrow, Christmas Day. Now she feared she would never be able to speak to Billy again. - It was later, now. Much later. Rachel had cried herself to sleep. After getting up, washing her face and getting something to eat, she was about the head back upstairs to bed when she heard a knock on the door. She paused, the knock having been so soft she thought she was imagining it. She raised her foot to ascend once more when the knock sounded again. She walks to the door quickly, and the sight she sees through the peephole astounds her. It was Billy. That alone was reason enough for her to be shocked. Billy Hargrove, on her porch, after everything that happened today? But seeing what happened to Billy's face tore her to shreds. His eyebrow was split, causing blood to trickle down the side of his face. His nose had been bent, a butterfly bruise beginning to form in the center of his face. His cheek was raw, his lip was swollen. He looked to be having trouble standing up straight, doubled over in pain. She honestly wouldn't have recognized him if he hadn't been wearing the same outfit as earlier. The second she had the door open, she was drilling him. "What happened?! What did he say? What did you say?? Did Susan do anything? God, she never does anyth-" Rachel was rambling, her hands running all over Billy, looking for more injuries. She noted that he winced when she touched his ribs. "Baby, baby, it's okay. I'm okay. I just had to see you. I... I'm sorry. For everything. For ever getting involved with you in the first place. I'm no good. I'm no good for anyone, but I'm especially no good for you. You're dad's right, you should be with someone better." Billy had tears in his eyes as he looked down at her. "Billy! Don't you dare! Don't you say any of that ever again! I love you, Billy. Whatever he said, whatever my dad said, none of it is true!" Rachel would've kept assuring him if she weren't interrupted by her parents coming downstairs. In her panic over her boyfriend's condition, she didn't even notice them until she heard her dad's voice. "Rachel, get upstairs. Now. Billy, this is it. You come around again and I'll-" Brad went silent upon seeing Billy. His eyes raked over the boy, and for the first time, he felt bad for him. Still, unconciously, he stepped between his daughter her boyfriend. "What happened? Who did this to you?" Billy met Brad's eyes before looking at Rachel, quesioningly. "It's okay, honey, you can tell him. Go ahead." He met her dad's gaze once more, only for a moment, before casting his eyes to the floor. "My old man, he... he's always beat up on me. But tonight he got drunk. Asked where I'd been. I told him I was out with Rach and he uh... he asked why I was with 'that whore' again and I just... I lost it." He looked directly at Brad, his gaze not breaking this time. "Rach is my girl, and no one is going to talk about her like that, no matter what. So I swung on him. I swung on him hard. I thought I'd finally won. I finally beat him. But when I was walking away, he broke a bottle over my head. I don't really rememeber what happened after that... I just know it hurts. I hurt all over. It's never been this bad before. I'm scared and I didn't know where to go. I just needed to see Rachel." When he looked back at her, she was nearly sobbing. She pushed passed her dad, jumping into Billy's arms, crying into his neck. He grabbed onto her as if she'd vanish if he didn't. "I'm so sorry, Billy, I'm so sorry!" "Shh, shh, it's okay, I'm here, ain't I? I'm alright, sweetheart, I'm always alright." Brad had heard about Neil Hargrove before. The neighbors had called into the station, saying they heard fighting going on at the house. Teachers were concerned about Billy's home life because of his attitude at school. Any time an officer would go to the Hargrove house to check up on things, everything checked out. All of the officers got a weird vibe from Neil and Susan, but there was nothing concrete to go off of so there was nothing they could do. Brad looked back at his wife for a moment, his attention being taken by the sound of a truck rumbling up their street. "Kids, why don't we take this conversation into the house?" He said, still keeping eye contact with the truck as it parked in front of the house. Neil Hargrove's truck. The teens quickly walked into the house, Rachel supporting a large amount of Billy's weight. Carolyn, Rachel's mom, followed suit. "Brad? Honey, are you coming?" "I'll be in soon, darling. Go take care of them." She turned, only to be stopped by the feeling of her husbands hand on her wrist. "And call the station. Hop is on patrol tonight." - "Let's get you kids some cocoa, huh? You must be freezing, Billy! Did you drive?" "No, ma'am, I walked from my place. Was hoping my dad wouldn't notice I'd left if he didn't hear the car." "Oh, you poor thing! Rachel, get him a blanket from the hall closet, would you? Oh! And one of your brother's sweatshirts! There's still a few in his room from when he left for school!" Rachel kissed Billy's head before leaving the room. "Billy, honey," Carolyn started once her daughter was out of earshot, "I know Brad has has issues with you, but try not to blame yourself for that. He sees a lot of himself in you. Seems like only yesterday, my dad was telling me, 'Carolyn, don't you ever talk to that Brad boy again!', but he came around. Brad will, too." She repeated her daughters actions, kissing him on the head before exiting. Billy sat in shock. Here he was, in Rachel's house. And her parents welcomed him in. Her mom is making him cocoa. What kind of alternate universe is he in? - It took Neil much, much longer than it should've to get out of his truck. Even longer to walk up to the house. He tripped and almost fell at least three times. "Mr. Hargrove, how can I help you?" Brad looked down his nose at Neil, who was still standing on the walkway, down a small set of stairs. "I know he's here, pig, I saw him when I pulled up. Just give me my boy, alright?" Neil slurred, still clearly drunk. "Neil, did you drive while intoxicated, to confront an officer, about taking home the kid you just beat? Man, you're a cocky son of a bitch, I'll give you that." Brad chuckled in disbeleif. "Listen," hiccup, "Just give me the boy and we'll both be out of your hair. I'm his dad, now hand him over." The drunk man stumbled, bracing himself on the mailbox. "You know what, Neil? I'll do you one better. How about I arrest you, take you in for driving under the influence, and we'll have a nice little chat tomorrow morning about your court date, hm?" Neil didn't like that answer. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was just that he's generally an idiot, but he decided it was in his best interest to walk up the front steps to square up with Brad. After slowly making his way up, he very unsteadily raised his arm, forming a fist. He threw his arm forward, but in his druken stupor, lost his balance and fell. He just started to push himself up when Brad pushed him back down with his foot. The sober man knelt down, placing a knee on Neil's back to hold him steady, and held his hands together behind his back. As perfect timing would have it, a second truck came speeding toward the house. Only this one had red and blue lights flashing from the roof. Hopper parked haphazardly with two wheels over the sidewalk. Jumping out of the Blazer, he was pulling his cuffs from his belt while walking up to the house. - When Brad walked back into the house, the sight before him made his heart melt more than he'd like to admit. Rachel was curled up into Billy, her torso resting on his slouched figure. His fingers were gently running along strands of her hair as he kissed her forhead now and again. She was facing him and they were talking in hushed tones. The older man decided to not ruin their moment, instead walking to the kitchen to check on his wife. - "Are you sure you're okay? You said you're ribs were hurting, what if you have a cracked rib or something?! We can go to the hospital, Billy, really, it's no prob-" "Sweetheart, I'm fine, really." Billy chuckled. "All I need is a few more kisses from you and some of that cocoa your mom is making because it smells killer." He smiled down at her. Rachel began to smile before rolling her eyes at herself. "This is so ridiculous. You show up unannounced, beaten and bloody, and you're the one comforting me." The boy laughed loudly this time, throwing his head back. Rachel loved seeing him laugh that way. He looked so careless and at ease. He deserved to feel that way more often. Their heads turned when they heard the kitchen door swing open. "Okay! I've got hot cocoa for everyone, extra marshmallows because it's officially Christmas!" Carolyn said joyously. She always loved Christmas, and got almost more excited than Rachel ever did. Considering how much Rachel loved it, that was really saying something. Everyone took a mug from the tray, the elders sitting down in the large armchairs across from the couch. "So, Billy, listen. You-" "I know I need to get going, sir. I'm sorry I showed up like this. And I'm sorry about my dad. I'll get out of-" "Whoa, whoa, slow down there, tiger. I'm not pushing you out the door just yet. Carolyn and I have talked and you're welcome to stay here as long as you'd like." At his words, the kids were totally and completely shocked. "I... But... My dad, he-" "Your dad is in jail for the night, but they'll probably have to release him tomorrow, once he's sobered up. Now, with your go ahead, I'd like to fight him on this. But you're almost 18 so there's not a big chance the system will give you up. It's just a lot of paperwork and processes that would probably take so long your birthday would pass before it's final anyway. But, that doesn't mean that I don't have connections. The cheif is one of my best friends, the town judge is Carolyn's father. We'll still look into things, make sure that kid sister of yours is okay. We have your back, Billy. If you want us to, that is." Billy had no words. For once in his life, he had no idea what to say. He was more and more overwhelmed with everyword that came out of his girlfriend's dad's mouth. Instead of replying, he felt his eyes well up with tears. His hands flew to his face, attempting (and failing) to cover up his emotions. Rachel wrapped an arm around the boys shoulders, the other around his front. "It's okay, baby. You're okay. You're safe here." She continued to console him until his cries turned to quiet sniffles. He raised his head, wiping under his eyes and clearing his throat. "Thank you, sir. I uh... Thank you." "You're more than welcome, dear." Carolyn spoke up, looking at him warmly. He hadn't been looked at like that since his mom died. "Now, we'll have Rachel show you to the shower, and you can stay in her brother's old room. We can sort out your belongings and car situation after you get some rest, does that sound okay?" "That sounds amazing, Mrs. Anderson, thank you. Thank you both." The teens stood, stopping halfway up the stairs when Brad's voice sounded once more. "Billy, you can stay in Rachel's room tonight. It's not going to be a regular thing, but I know you're pretty shaken up right now. No funny business!" "Dad!" Rachel yelled back, but this time with a smile on her face. She grabbed Billy's hand, leading him the rest of the way.

#Billy Hargrove #Billy Hargrove Imagine #stranger things imagine #billy hargrove oneshot #stranger things oneshot #dacre montgomery #fanfic #stranger things fanfiction #billy hargrove fanfiction

58 notes · View notes

kelliehighet · 7 years

Text

Photos and My Stories.

Here are the photos and all of my responses to them (matched by numbers.)

Whilst engaging in the writing process for this task I found that for the most part there is no a direct visual relationship between the image and what I wrote about it. I looked at the photo and something in it would trigger a memory or feeling, that would sometimes then trigger another memory or feeling, and then I would take this and further explore the fictional possibilities of it. Some of the responses are are completely auto biographical, some are partly based off events that happened in my life, and others are completely fictional. However, none of them appear as ‘obvious’ responses to the imagery, which I think is due to that process.

1. Things never felt that heavy when we were younger. It was traditional for us to raid her step Mums’ wardrobe. The aim was to take the black satin dresses, throw on the ugly fur coats, slip into the slutty red heals, and then stumble around waving our hands in a way that demanded presence. We! Are! So! Important! Then we’d tear the room apart to find her credit card and use it to order Thai food. But we hated tofu. So we’d walk to the local shops and buy hot chips with chicken salt. Talking about our weird science teacher and her brother’s new fascination with reptiles.

2. Yesterday I caught mum all teary eyed because some snails had destroyed her basil plant. She’d hosted a dinner party the night before, so she plucked them from the garden and placed them into plastic water bottles filled with leftover champagne. I’m not sure if the light looks sort of enchanting because that’s how summer works, or if I’m just drowning in the bubbles.

3. I had just finished my usual three-hour shift at the bakery after school. Instead of throwing out the left over pastries I’d asked mum to drive me to the hospital so I could give them to you. Some nurse was trying to poison the mash potato. You were uncharacteristically grumpy and ranting about something that was wrong with the TV. I checked my phone excessively, time was going so slow, you were really agitating me, old people are annoying, I was tired, wanted to get home; it’s not my fault, how was I meant to know, according the odds you should’ve already died six months ago.

7. It was a Saturday. We were fourteen years old and desperately wishing to be older. So I stole whisky from my parent’s basement and mixed it with pink lemonade. We had matching purple pajama pants that were covered in little cartoon cows. I bought three-dollar glitter eyeliner; we drew love hearts on our cheeks and it stained my skin blue. I was glad it was a Sunday because I wouldn’t be seen in public like that. Mum spent twenty minutes brushing my hair after I threw up in the toilet. It was bright pink. We’d poured a lot of raspberries into the blender making cocktails.

8. Tomorrow I’ll wake up all disorientated in the backset of my car. And I’ll think, shit, my neck is going to hurt for weeks. Hopefully it’ll be early enough to make it home before anyone wakes up. I can get changed, clean my teeth, and straighten my hair. Mum will tell me I look pretty. Then I’ll arrive early to my lecture, and I’ll sit with that girl, and we’ll chat about that cute guy. For lunch I’ll have rice cakes because my stomach will still feel queasy. Life will continue, no matter how I change it.

12. Life is beautiful. That’s what you’d always tell people. “It’s my 21st birthday.” You were verging on eighty, but wanting to make the pretty waitress laugh. Mum was so sad that you hadn’t told anyone sooner. Like what the fuck. You thought roast duck in Prague would make up for this? Paying for the whole family to frolic around Europe was a pretty sick cover up. I suppose dancing with a champagne glass in your hand meant forever young. But at your funeral I cried talking about the seaweed in your garden that you’d stolen from the beach. We don’t go on holidays in summer anymore.

13. Mums’ new boyfriend was always around. Like a little yapping dog that seemed sweet until it nipped at your finger. Whenever they broke up he’d buy my sister and I things to make her feel guilty. One time it was a rice cooker. I ate a lot of brown rice those days because someone had told me it was healthier than pasta.

15. After my best friend and I turned nineteen she met some guy in a coffee shop. He was a barista with stylish black hair who’d chased her all the way to the car park holding a Lush bag she’d accidentally left at her table. They went on a date to the zoo and then he got to know her better than I did. A few days ago we went to see a movie together. Afterwards we talked about the unseasonal wind, how good dark chocolate tastes with peanut butter, what courses we were taking at university, and then I drove her home. She messaged me a week later; it was a picture of her dog rolling around in the sun. I suppose it’s nice having someone around who cares so much.

16. My chin was red and painful by the time I got home. He’d taken me to the lake so we could hang out; his stubble had given me a pimple. I wondered how long it would take to pick all of the twigs out of my scarf, and I needed to wash those jeans before my sister noticed they were missing. Hopefully nobody had heard the sound of his car in our driveway. My skin felt foreign. I wanted his mark to make me happy, but instead I changed into an old Power Puff Girl shirt and curled up in a little ball on my bed. I didn’t cry. He waited four days to text me. By then it had gone.

17. It’s okay, because sometimes, in certain moments, everything seems so wonderful. I’m laughing, I have friends, boys will kiss my neck, and we’re all so cool. The other day I spilt tea on the kitchen bench. My heart was beating sort of fast, it was 6:00pm, my stomach had been churning all day, it’s March; I just hate the change in light. Then I sat on the couch in my dressing gown and spent four hours staring out the window. I couldn’t say what was there because I don’t remember looking. To be honest I never think of you at all.

18. It was completely expected. That’s what stung. “I think you should just find somebody else.” I knew there was so much wrong with us, but it felt unfair that something so desirable was capable of disappearing that fast. So at brunch I told Mum’s friends that he was smart, played soccer, drove a red car, and had nice arms. Then I drank four cups of tea and stabbed my scone incessantly with a fork. I threw up afterwards because the diary in the cream had made me queasy. He didn’t break my heart. I did. Using everything unsaid he’d left behind.

19. I was sitting on her bed trying to blend out the dry patches of foundation that clung to my skin. We had to look good that night. She needed to: Get. It. Over. With. A few weeks back this gorgeous boy had driven her to his family house all the way in Adelaide, then he’d ignored her after discovering she was a virgin who didn’t want to rush things. She’d only talked about guys to me since. My eye shadow was navy blue and sparkly. We mixed vodka with Red Bull and twirled around the living room listening to songs on spotify. I stood staring at the lights when she left me in the club. He’d told me I was beautiful yesterday so it didn’t matter that I was alone.

0 notes