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eishelin · 2 years

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Review of "Teachers: With Love and Passion" by Honey Bunny

I'm on a little quest to at least attempt to play all of Otome Jam 2022 full-length entries and the first I chose was Teachers: With Love and Passion by Honey Bunny. They were one of the first to launch their game and it has been very well received.

TL:DR

It's an amazing game for a jam project. Even outside of the jam scope, it's a very, very good game. I will definitely replay a certain route in the future.

Story/Writing

Tale as old as time. Hanna (name changeable) has just finished her teacher studies and is starting out at a new school, which is filled with suspiciously hot and single teachers. She pursues her new career and has a choice to also pursue a love life.

Up for grabs for the latter are four very different bachelors, each with their own personality quirks and each harboring a dark secret... (it's not as bad as it sounds).

Hanna's emotions are very relatable, not only for teachers, but for every young professional starting out in their career - the impostor syndrome, the anxiety, the overachieving in the first weeks. We've all been there, and this game definitely makes the player feel validated in those feelings.

The game is a very solid, medium-length. It took me around 10 hours to play through it, while live-tweeting my reactions and chatting with friends on the side. There is a long common-route (~60% of a single play-through with some differences based on which character you're going for) and a relatively short character based route.

It's often said that if a piece of writing makes you hate their villain with a passion - it's good quality. This was extremely true for Teachers. Around 1/4 of my live tweets were about hating the villain character in this game.

The writing style is consistently engaging. I never found myself bored or skipping descriptions, which is an achievement.

I usually take screenshots of lines and scenes that I like and/or find very fun or funny and I took more than 300.

There are some small typos, but they're not jarring and I feel that I only noticed them, because I've been going through another game with a fine-tooth comb for more than a month.

Personally, I would have loved to hear more about Hanna and her story before this game. We know that she's 30 and this is her first teaching gig out of school, but it's never explained why - did she switch careers, did she travel the world before going to Uni for her degree, is she just from a country where it's customary to become a teacher after longer studies?

Art

The amount of custom-drawn things is mind-boggling. There are 12 distinct backgrounds, with multiple variations each, 12 full-size CGs (with variations) + some chibi ending CGs and 10 sprites with multiple expressions and outfits. I had a bit of an adjustment period to the artist's style (it is quite distinct), but when I got over it, I started noticing all the small details and was completely blown away. The rendering is amazing and on-par with big-budget titles.

The only nitpick I have with the art of the game is that all of the character sprites are close to the same height, even though their descriptions mention some characters being 15+ centimeters apart in height.

Music and Game Design

The game has a solid soundtrack, sourced from CC resources, and it fits the scenes quite well. The sound and music levels are perfectly balanced, everything is about the same apparent volume. At some parts of the game I noticed that the music isn't looping - I'd move to chat with friends on Discord and the song would end and I would play the next several scenes in silence. It's no big deal though, if you're playing the game in one-go.

There are some great accessibility options in there, the most prominent being the ability to enable audio cues for SFX's, which was quite useful for me after I turned off the music/sound when wanting to play a route with my own soundtrack. There's also plenty of alt-texts for players using self-voicing and it is very detailed.

The game also mentions how to bring up the default accessibility menu, which allows you to change text scales and fonts. For most part it works very well.

The phone/messaging system design is gorgeous. However, I encountered some usability issues during the scenes with the phone. First of all - there's no quick menu available there with all the options. Second - I often found myself not noticing the menu or understanding how to continue.

I was able to get most of the endings (except for Edgar's bad end with the CG) without a guide, so that's also a plus.

Playthrough notes - here be slight spoilers

I completely disregarded the recommended play order and just started my playthrough with Edgar - the math teacher, because his care-free attitude called to me.

As usual in otome, this was, at least partially, a red herring and there was angst to be had in his route. I generally liked the pacing here - it started out with heart-warming wholesomeness, there was a gradual build-up to the conflict of the route and it actually felt like something a man his age would be reluctant to disclose to his potential partners. His ending CG is pretty iconic, props to the game developers for letting their men cry and not be the typical manly-man-men.

Marcus, the PE teacher, was up next. From his introduction in the common route, I had expected to dislike him, because the sporty and grumpy isn't usually my jam. I was pleasantly surprised. His grumpiness truly was just a "it's just my face" facade. The ending of the route felt a bit rushed though.

I was expecting to like Leo a lot, but I found his route a bit lacking. It might be related to pacing, because I found the game to be switching between comedic and somber quite a lot in his route. I actually found Hanna's speech in the normal end more to my liking than the good end.

I finished with Lawrence. Oh, Lawrence, my beloved. My future comfort character. If it's weird, I don't want to be normal.

Any character who uses the phrase of the likes of "Talking to you feels like finding a book I have never read before." automatically goes in the list of my favorite characters. His banter with Hanna is refreshing and the resolution of the whole Eric situation is very straight to the point. His route is the one where both characters actually feel their age.

So, in order of enjoyment:

Lawrence >> Edgar > Marcus > Leo.

#otome #review #otome jam 2022 #indie otome #teachers with love and passion #otome review #oelvn

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etherealwaifgoddess · 4 years

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One In A Million - Chpt.9

Summary: Now that the timeline is irrevocably altered Rose has to make a tough decision. Content Warning: smut, a good bit of it.

Word Count: 2.6k

Author’s Note: Hello lovelies! Well, we’re winding down now. Only one more chapter and the epilogue to go. Honestly this chapter is a bit of serious plot followed smut, like half the chapter is smut lol. So... enjoy! XOXO - Ash

Chapter Nine

You know there is no fixing what’s happened. The timeline is irrevocably changed now that Bucky made it through the draft. Your jump point is a month away, circled in red on the calendar hanging in your kitchen. You had spent so much time thinking of ways you could extract yourself from their lives but now the looming reality is, you don’t necessarily have to. You had forged a split in the timeline and this reality is going to keep going whether or not you’re a part of it. The pressing need to jump back to your time so as not to disrupt realities is no longer an issue, the damage is done.

You’re quiet that night while the guys celebrate Bucky’s good luck. They dance around the living room to old records, trying to get you to join in on their fun. Steve puts on La Vie En Rose, imploring you to dance with him to the sweet tune that initiated your first kiss. You relent, dancing around your tiny living room in his arms, Bucky watching from the sofa with soft eyes. It’s difficult to accept that this could be your life. There are so many pros and cons to staying and you had never really stopped to consider it as a real option.

Later that night you lay awake in the darkness on your side of the bed. Steve is tangled up with Bucky like an octopus but you only have one ankle looped into their jumble. You stare up at the ceiling running through plans and calculations and options. It’s some time around 2am that you come to the conclusion that you don’t want to go back. A scary revelation for sure, but one a small part of you had suspected was coming for months now.

The 1940s are problematic compared to your modern life but all the issues don’t overshadow your love for Steve and Bucky. You’ll have to be careful, hiding your relationship until well into your old age when polyamory becomes more acceptable. Steve and Bucky will have to hide their love until then too, unfortunately. You’ll have to put up with society considering you inferior just because you’re a woman. There won’t be a Starbucks latte back in your life until you’re too old to really enjoy one. You won’t have the luxury of a smartphone or a decent computer until you’re well into your eighties. It’s jarring to realize how much you had taken for granted when you were volunteering to go back.

You look over at your guys, sighing quietly to yourself in the darkness. It’s still worth it. Every inconvenience, every struggle, it’s worth it to have them in your life. To get to see the soft little looks Bucky gives Steve when he’s overcome with love for him. To spend a quiet day listening to the scritching of charcoal on paper as Steve loses himself in another drawing. Getting to see the way the first rays of sunlight hit Steve’s golden mane of hair in the early morning. Hearing Bucky’s laugh, so loud and authentic, when something funny catches him off guard. The way they both will randomly scoop you up in their arms, peppering you with kisses and whispers of I love you. Staying with them is worth it all in spades.

The next day you’re the first one up. You had caught a few hours sleep in the wee hours of the morning but they were restless ones. A pot of coffee brews on the stove, the smell alone helping to wake you up. You’re making pancakes for your guys, a special Saturday morning treat that you make sometimes when the mood strikes. There are fluffy stacks waiting on plates when Steve finally emerges from the bedroom looking adorably sleep rumpled. Bucky is only a few steps behind, yawning and stretching as he joins you.

“Wow, I got lucky two days in a row now. I should put down money on a game or something.” Bucky teases, snatching up a plate for himself.

“Actually these were a treat for Steve.” you say just to be smart.

With a wicked smirk, Steve grabs the plate away from Bucky who scrabbles after it frantically, unwilling to lose his precious breakfast treat.

You roll your eyes and give one of the other plates to Bucky, placing a kiss on top of his disheveled hair when he takes his seat at the table, “You’re lucky I love you both.”

“And we know it.” he tells you before taking a bite of the hot syrup laden cakes.

You spend a lazy weekend at home with the guys, quietly working through your plans to get word back to your team that you’re okay. Steve paints with watercolors and Bucky works on repairing the broken slats in your fence out back, both of them happily occupied while you plan. You’ve run through every scenario you can think of and it should work the way you intend it to. The jump point is designed to take you back to the lab and it’s timeline, but it may not necessarily need you. The brooch needs to be activated and then, after a short countdown, the brooch and whatever it’s attached to will blink back to the lab. You don’t know if it requires an actual living creature or if an inanimate object will do but you figure something with a pulse is a safer bet. Some poor little mouse or bunny is going to have the journey of a lifetime. The team will be displeased you messed up the timeline but hopefully they understand your reasons for staying.

Plans set in your mind, all you have to do now is wait a few weeks until the jump point. The world seems to shift again now that things have been decided. You feel connected to the thrumming city around you again. The older man running the butcher shop seems kinder, the girl who works at the bakery could be a potential new friend. Possibilities are endless now that you have time.

Dinner is a lively affair. All three of you are restless after a whole day of hanging around the house. Bucky cooks up the steaks you’d bought on your quick trip out and you toast the bread you’d gotten from the bakery in the oven with lots of butter and garlic. Steve mixes up a salad of vegetables from your kitchen basket and your garden, wanting to contribute to the meal. It’s a nice spread by the time you’re all done and you choose to eat outside on a blanket so you can watch the sunset. The weather is warming up finally and as long as you have a light sweater you’ll be okay to stay out for a bit even once the sun goes down.

As expected, none of you want to go inside, even after nightfall. Stargazing in the city isn’t great due to the light pollution but you can still see some of the twinkling stars in the night sky. You’re lying between Steve and Bucky who are wrapped around you and holding hands across your middle. It’s sweet and you can see why Bucky loves being in the center of the bed. The guys are up to something, you can tell when they start to stroke along each other’s hands and wrists with slow, fluid motions. Soon they’re littering kisses on your shoulders and nuzzling in closer.

“You see that pretty little constellation there?” Bucky says pointing at the night sky, “The one to the right of the moon?”

“Cassiopeia?” you ask him, zig zagging your finger along its shape.

“Our girl is smart, Steve.” Bucky praises, “Yeah, darlin’, cassiopeia. Did you know you have almost the exact same pattern in freckles on the back of your right thigh?”

“I do not.” you snort.

“You do,” Steve chimes in, adding in a low tone, “I would be happy to show you if you’d like to move this inside.”

You roll your eyes at his antics but shrug, “I think that can be arranged.”

Bucky is standing before you can even fully sit up, he scoops you up into his arms and you let out a very unladylike squeal. Steve is shushing you, grinning as if he approves of Bucky’s ridiculous show of bravado. You’re glad you ran the dishes in earlier but the cups and blankets will have to wait until morning. All three of you have other things in mind.

Bucky carries you all the way to your bedroom, depositing you on the enormous bed with a playful flop. Bouncing on the mattress elicits another squeak from you and Bucky chuckles at the sound. Crawling over your body like a lion going in for the kill, Bucky starts unbuttoning the long trail of opalescent buttons on the front of your dress. He only gets down to your waist before he showers your breasts with kisses, mouthing over the slippery satin of your brassiere until your breaths are coming in harsh gasps. You roll your head to the side, eyes fluttering open for a minute and you catch sight of Steve. And what a sight it is. Steve is leaning up against the door frame, still fully clothed, palming himself over his trousers. His cheeks are stained a deep pink, pupils blown wide with lust. “Stevie.” you gasp out his name like a prayer.

Bucky lifts his head at your voice and looks back catching sight of Steve himself. “Gonna join us?” he asks, pulling back from you to extend a hand.

Steve gives him a lazy, smug smile before coming over to take his hand. Bucky pulls him in quickly, Steve slamming against his chest roughly. Bucky’s mouth is demanding, possessive, and Steve can’t get enough. You lay back, content to watch them have their moment. Fumbling with your buttons you get them all undone and push the sides away, leaving you bare except for your bra and panties. Your guys are taking their time loving on one another above you so you take the opportunity to slip a hand down between your folds. If you’re going to have a front row seat, you might as well enjoy the show.

A breathless unf slips past your lips; you got yourself closer to the edge much faster than you’d expected. Both pairs of blue eyes snap down to look at you and your hand stills beneath your panties. “Hi” you say sheepishly.

“Whatcha doin’ doll?” Steve asks with a smirk.

“Enjoying the show.”

“If you’re enjoying it so much maybe you should join in.” Steve leans down to trail kisses from your throat down to the lacy edge of your panties. Bucky is kissing lines along Steve’s back and you don’t know which is working you up more, Steve’s mouth on your skin or Bucky’s on his.

“You like watching us?” Bucky taunts, having caught on to your not so subtle staring.

You nod, “Yeah. So much.”

“What if, instead of taking turns, tonight we can all enjoy ourselves together?”

Steve’s whole body shudders at the suggestion but you’re unsure of the logistics.

“How? I mean, yes. But, how?”

“Well, you can stay right there and let Stevie fill up that perfect little pussy of yours, and while he’s busy doing that I’ll be busy filling him up.”

Steve whimpers and you moan. Bucky knew his suggestion would be a hit but he loves hearing your reactions. You nod frantically, helping Steve get your clothes off while Bucky undresses himself and starts tugging at Steve’s shirt. “Stevie,” Bucky coos after he gets all three of you bare, “Why don’t you go down on our girl while I get you ready?”

Steve doesn’t have to be told twice, sliding quickly down your body to oblige Bucky’s request. You lean up a little on your elbows, wanting to watch. Bucky is so careful with Steve, slowly pressing a vaseline coated finger into his hole until Steve gasps against your throbbing clit. Bucky is babbling a stream of praise as he adds another finger, slowly working Steve open. Steve has to pause, resting his head against you, hips thrust involuntarily, when Bucky grazes his prostate with two curled fingers. “Buck, enough. I wanna feel it. Enough.” Steve pants out, desperate.

“You good, darlin’?” Bucky asks you, making sure you don’t need more time yourself.

“Mhmm” you moan in assent.

Steve moves up from between your legs, holding onto your hips with a loving squeeze as he lines himself up with your entrance. He pushes in slowly as always, letting you get used to the size of him before burying himself fully inside you. Steve stills and you see Bucky running a hand along his back, giving Steve a moment before he breaches the tight ring of muscles and drives himself home. Steve is shaking, breaths coming in pants, and he’s gripping your hips so tightly you’re certain you’ll have bruises in the morning. You’re not sure who starts moving first but after a moment the three of you fall into a rhythm, gradually increasing your pace until it’s frenzied and desperate. Steve reaches a hand down to toy with your already too sensitive clit and you fall off the edge of your orgasm. Steve curses, knowing he should have expected the chain reaction he just set off. Between Bucky hitting his prostate with every thrust and your inner walls squeezing around his cock while you come beneath him, it’s all just too much. Steve comes with a shout, harder than he has ever before in his life, and thinks he may actually black out for a breathless moment. Bucky, driven to his own edge watching you fall apart for Steve, is lost when Steve’s muscles clamp down around him while he comes. Bucky gets a few more stuttering thrusts before he’s spilling deep in Steve who shudders a few more futile thrusts in you at the sensation. You’re breathing heavily under the pile of your guys, amazed and blissed out beyond words.

Bucky is laying delicately on Steve who is laying not delicately on top of you. He’s so light though, it doesn’t bother you and you wrap your arms around him when he starts to roll off to the side when Bucky finally lets him go. All three of you need cleaned up but no one’s brains are working quite yet and instead you lay in your tangle, idly stroking whatever limbs are closest and enjoying the quiet post orgasmic bliss.

A little while later Steve nudges your chin with his, getting you to look him in the eye. “That was okay, right?”

You give him a reassuring smile, “More than alright.”

He lets out a relieved breath at your words. “Good. Great. I love being with you, I really do. But Buck and I… we go way back and I still need him too sometimes.”

“Sweetheart, I didn’t expect you and Bucky to stop having sex just because we started. You two should still enjoy each other whenever you want, whether it includes me or not. I’m sure there will be times when it’s just you and me or just Bucky and me. That needs to be okay too.”

“You really are one in a million.” Steve says, his voice soft with something akin to wonder. He snuggles closer, wrapping you so tight you can scarcely breathe. Bucky huffs seeing Steve enveloping you and dives on top of you both so as not be left out. Between the squirming and laughter somehow you get comfortable and a shower is put off again until cooler heads can prevail.

Tag list! @wolfarrowepz

#one in a million #steve rogers #bucky barnes #reader insert #stucky #steve rogers x bucky barnes x reader #named reader #captain america #stucky fanfic #steve rogers fanfic #preserum steve rogers #bucky barnes fanfic #marvel #marvel fanfic #time travel #1940s setting

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digikate813 · 5 years

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My Little Pony Re-Watch: Episode 45 Putting Your Hoof Down

*Oh goody. At last we’ve gotten to my least favorite episode of the season. And starring my favorite character. Who could ask for anything more?

*Sometimes i feel like I’m too hard on Angel Bunny. But I have noticed that how much you like Angel depends on how you feel about Fluttershy. The more you like her, the less you tolerate his attitude. But I think even big fans of Angel have trouble defending this appearance. He’s such a little brat and causes Fluttershy such unnecessary grief in the process. He slaps Flutters for crying out loud! Is that supposed to be funny? Because it’s not. It’s mean. And it would take many seasons for Angel to get back in my good graces after this incident.

*But something that is kind of cute is the architecture in Fluttershy’s cottage. This might be a weird time to bring it up but you see here that there’s little holes and staircases all over the place. Even in really high places. Specifically so the animals Fluttershy takes care of can get where they need to. I always love that unique design choice to help make it feel like a specific character’s home.

*You want an episode where Fluttershy learns to stand up for herself? Fine, I get it. And i understand you need a couple of inciting incidents to get her to realize this is something she needs to work on. But y’know, you can illustrate that point without making everypony around her an unreasonable jerk.It might have even gotten across the point better if they were just casually dismissive, which they manage to present once or twice here. But most of the time, it’s ponies being absolutely awful! And it makes this whole section of the episode just uncomfortable to watch.

*Especially the cherry guy. Worst shop pony EVER!!!

*Pinkie’s Looney Tunes antics continue. I personally prefer the elaborate chases, but this is still pretty funny and well performed by the voice actors.

*I also noticed that this is the first episode without Twilight in it since Sisterhooves Social. I always thought having all of the Mane Six write letters to Princess Celestia was done so she wouldn’t have to be in all the episodes. Maybe i was wrong. Because this is the only other episode in the season she’s not in, and you could have easily found a place for her in both of them.

*Our first Minotaur holds his seminar in a hedge maze. Love it! Not sure if the goat henchman are connected to the mythology as well, or if it’s just weird. Probably the latter.

*Iron Will’s not the most charismatic or memorable antagonist in the series, but he’s not bad or anything. He definitely get some good lines and most certainly presents the wrong way to be assertive. This guy’s not assertive. He’s a bully!

*Yeah Fluttershy. Those are usually my idea of options when someone’s blocking my way too.

*So after one seminar, and jsut trying Iron Will’s methods, FLuttershy takes the leap from assertive to aggressive, with little to no sense of concern befoe she gives in and thinks it works? I think that’s my problem with this leap in he character. I’m not going to say it’s out of character, because that’s kind of the point, but the transition from “old Fluttershy” to “new Fluttershy” is kind of jarring. It takes no time at all for her to start taking this too far. The first thing she does with Iron Will’s methods is spray a garden pony in the face with his own hose. And she kind of gets a thrill from that. Never questioning. Never contemplating if this really works. Maybe if there was a moment of reflection where she makes the conscious choice that this is working, I might be able to buy this a bit more. As it stands, it feels almost like whiplash.

*Why Fluttershy didn’t just fly over those carts is anypony’s guess.

*I understand that Fluttershy taking already not great advice too far is kind of the point, but it doesn’t make it any less difficult to watch. I’m sorry but I don’t find Fluttershy beating up a pony to get a cab entertaining in any way.

*Or Fluttershy straight up insulting her friends life choices and passions. This isn’t her taking bad advice too far. This isn’t her being “too assertive”. This is, I don’t know what this is. This is the most comment complaint against this episode, and i have to agree. Saying that your best friends are throwing their lives away is horrible. Especially in a show called “Friendship is MAGIC”. It’s a really tough moment to watch, and not in a good way. I’m glad Fluttershy came to her senses after this, but I don’t think she had to go that far to realize that.

*Even with that said, I do feel bad for Fluttershy when she locks herself away like the Hulk. Determined never to hurt anyone ever again. But her house looks really abandoned. How long has it been again?

*And i do like how Pinkie and Rarity try ot comfort her. This is what happens when you try to change something this big about someone too quickly. Especially when their head is filled with such awful advice. One good argue they are being way too gracious after what she said to them, but what are friends for? I guess?

*I also like that they try to keep Iron Will away from Fluttershy. Good friends help protect you form unhealthy influences like this jerk.

*Okay there’s a lot about this episode that makes me annoyed and uncomfortable, but it could have all been worth it if the message came across clearly and presented well. And guess what? It’s not. At least I don’t think so. Watching this again, the way Fluttershy deals with Iron Will by standing her ground in a calm and cool way is perfectly fine. Buuuuut we don’t really see how Fluttershy reached this point. And that may have worked in this situation, but who’s to say it will again? For an episode that spends most of it’s time showing the wrong ways for a pony like Fluttershy to stand up for herself, we get 30 seconds of Fluttershy standing up for herself without becoming a monster. Like so many other things in this episode, it just seems like a leap without much to back it up.

As someone who has similar social anxieties to Fluttershy, I didn’t think this episode presented any kind of solution to this problem I personally had. Watching it again after improving on those issues a bit, I can see what they’re going for, but I still don’t think it’s presented well. If the point is to show how to stand up for yourself, even when it’s hard, without going too far, why is the eventual solution given so little time? After 20 minutes of unpleasantness? I may see what they were trying to do, but I still don’t think this episode presents it’s very important middle ground very well.People may hate Mare-Do-Well, but this is still my least favorite episode of the season.Maybe I’m being too harsh, but this should have been an episode someone like me could really learn form, but I took nothing but an uncomfortable vibe away from it. Next Time: It’s About Time!

#My Little Pony #MLP Rewatch Marathon #putting your hoof down #My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Review #analysis #MLP:FIM

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olivereliott · 3 years

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Mt. Shasta As A Convergence

[Note: 2020 is the tenth year of my blog at Semi-Rad.com, and since I started it, I’ve been fortunate to get to do some pretty wonderful adventures. Throughout this year, I’ll be writing about 12 favorite adventures I’ve had since I started writing about the outdoors, one per month. This is the eleventh in the series. The other stories are here.]

It occurred to me, as Forest’s leg pressed against mine in the dark, a bit over the invisible line between our two sleeping pads, that I had never had a comfortable night in a tent on Mt. Shasta.

This time, in May 2018, was both uncomfortable and funny because of the size difference between my backpack and Forest’s backpack. I had planned on using a nice, roomy ski mountaineering pack, but a shipping snafu at the last minute meant it didn’t arrive in time, so I crammed as much as I could in a 38-liter pack, and left out some things that definitely would have helped. Like an extra foam pad to put under my sleeping pad, an extra pair of socks to change into so my feet wouldn’t freeze in my sleeping bag, a thicker sleeping bag, extra layers, extra food, et cetera. Forest, on the other hand, had a massive backpack, and was never one to shy away from overpacking. His rationale, as a photographer, was basically: I’m packing all these heavy lenses, so I might as well give up on having a light pack. In our many trips together, I have more than once glanced over in shock and awe at something he had apparently carried 10 or more miles into the backcountry: a glass jar of tapenade, a quart of half and half, a pair of bulky leather moccasin slippers that he seemed to be taking everywhere lately, maybe more as a running gag than anything.

As soon as we’d gotten our small but bombproof mountaineering tent set up and anchored in the snow at Lake Helen on Mt. Shasta, we discovered that the tent was designed for two regular-sized 20-inch-wide sleeping pads. We discovered this because Forest had apparently acquired a super-plush 25-inch-wide pad, which was now monster-trucking over mine by almost five inches.

On the way up to our camp at Helen Lake, I had drenched all my baselayers and my socks skinning uphill in the afternoon sun, but hoped they might still have a chance to dry out in the brief couple hours we had at camp before sunset. I wasn’t that lucky, and wriggled into my sleeping bag with a pair of damp ski socks between my knees, hoping to dry them overnight. It was a short night, one of those nights out when you aren’t freezing to death, but just can’t quite manage to get into good sleep because you’re just a bit too cold, all night. And Forest was a bit over the line onto my side of the tent, or, more accurately, my 40 percent portion of the tent.

I had been on Shasta once before, on a fundraising climb in 2009, and I didn’t sleep well then either, for different reasons: Three guys sleeping shoulder-to-shoulder in a “three-person” tent, flatulence (Night 1’s dinner was bean burritos and Night 2 was lentil something-or-other), and nerves, because I had way less of an idea if I was capable of making it to the top of the mountain or not. We’d gotten up just after midnight on our summit day, climbed slowly in rope teams, made it to the summit, and then glissaded down for what felt like hours. It was my first time on a volcano, first time on a rope team, and first summit of Shasta. Before and after, my friend Mitsu kept talking about what a great ski descent it was. At the time, skiing it would have been a big leap for me, skill-wise, and: How would I even navigate up the Avalanche Gulch route in the dark? I mean, our guide had even led us a bit off-route in the dark that morning, to everyone’s surprise, including his. But maybe someday.

—

When I was in fourth grade, my parents told my brother and me that we’d be going to Colorado to learn how to ski. We’d drive out from southwest Iowa over two days, stay in a four-bedroom condominium with three other families, kids sleeping on the floor of the living room, adults in bedrooms, and the kids would take ski lessons for most of the week. I don’t know what drew our families to Steamboat, but I do know that with every adult lift ticket purchased, one kid 12 years old or younger skied for free. I think the first year, I wore sunglasses in lieu of goggles, and had a shoestring running through the sleeves of my jacket to my gloves, which was a pretty idiot-proof way to not lose a glove.

I remember looking out the window of the condo the first evening and seeing the chairlift, wondering how people managed to stay on it on the way down the mountain. If I had asked my brother, he probably would have said something like, You don’t ride it down, moron, you ski down. And I would have said, Oh, yeah.

We learned how to snowplow/pizza, and eventually how to do parallel turns/french fries, going from green to blue on rental skis, collecting less snow inside our jackets and pants as we figured out how to stay upright. I don’t remember specifically now, but I imagine my brother picked it up faster than I did, because he was more natural at pretty much every sport. By the end of the five days, I imagine we thought we were experts, and started being those kids who would go straight down every blue run without a single turn if they could. We came back to Steamboat the next year, and then had one more trip to Winter Park when I was in seventh grade.

I would never have said my family was rich—we seemed to be the last family I knew in the ’80s to get a microwave and an answering machine—but maybe instead of a microwave, my parents wanted to go skiing. And now that I think about it, as an adult out on my own, I went a couple decades without owning a microwave, but I always had a pair of skis in my closet.

One other possibly unintended consequence of those early trips: I left Iowa when I was 23 to live near the Rocky Mountains, and have been unable to escape the gravitational pull of them ever since. I wouldn’t say skiing has ever been my Number One thing, but I think those early ski days planted a seed. When I returned to skiing again in my mid-20s, my favorite part was no longer the whooshing down runs clear-cut through mountainside forests, but the views from the top of all the other peaks, and all the other possibilities for exploring, not just in the winter, but the next summer.

—

I moved to Colorado in 2005 and logged 30 days on the mountain, learning to snowboard behind my friend Nick. In 2008, Nick and I took an AIARE Level 1 avalanche course, and I got a pair of bulky alpine touring bindings for cheap, and mounted them on an old pair of skis my friend Mitsu sold me for $100. I skied a handful of days each year, a few at resorts and a few in the backcountry in the spring, when the snow had consolidated and avalanche danger was less.

In 2017, I started climbing and skiing a volcano every year with Mitsu, first the Southwest Chutes of Mt. Adams, a 35-40-degree line that keeps going and going for 4,000 vertical feed, and then Mt. Hood (I downclimbed a couple hundred feet down the Old Chute route before clicking into my skis, looking at the bergschrund at the bottom and not feeling confident I’d make the consequential turns). I loved the snow climbs, and I loved skiing down instead of walking.

For 2019, I had started to think about Mt. Shasta, and Forest and I were looking for a snowy location for a photo shoot for a book we were writing about camping. Mitsu was in, too. I also invited our friend Abi, who lived in northern California and had been partway up Mt. Shasta three times but never summited, for various reasons. She had a young son at home and hadn’t been getting out as much as she used to, but I figured we’d pace ourselves and she’d be OK. I did forget that the weekend we’d be on Shasta was Mother’s Day weekend, but her husband, Eddie, was up for doing a guys’ weekend with their son in order to help Mom get up a big snowy mountain.

As I strapped my skis to my pack at the Bunny Flat trailhead on Shasta’s southwest flank to walk the first couple miles of trail, I started to realize I was more excited to help Abi finally get to the summit than I was about

taking a shot at skiing the mountain myself. It’s one thing to try something and have to turn back once, but twice, and then three times, it starts to build up. And with a young family, and maybe your friends all starting to have young families and spend less time climbing mountains, it might get to the point where you think you might not get back to try, let alone summit. But I thought our plan was good: take two days, hike up to Lake Helen the first day, camp, and then go for the summit in the morning—a pretty standard itinerary for the Avalanche Gulch route, the most popular route on the peak. Abi wasn’t sure if she’d try to ski down, but I figured she could probably glissade as fast as I could ski, or at least fast enough.

I hadn’t specifically trained for Shasta, besides one day of skinning up a groomed run at Loveland Ski Area, and a last-minute climb and ski of the Cristo Couloir on Colorado’s Quandary Peak, a 14er I thought would be a good test to see if I was ready to ski Shasta. Test results: Fit enough to climb up, not fit enough to ski down and look good doing it, but probably fit enough to ski down without my legs turning to complete Jell-o. As I crammed extra clothing in my ski bag for my flight to California, I thought about the idea of telling nine-year-old me during my first week on skis that you could use them to ski UPHILL. It would have blown my mind—and sounded like the dumbest idea ever.

From our campsite at Helen Lake, which we shared with a dozen or so other climbers, I looked up at the route. Mitsu and Abi melted snow for cooking and drinking water and Forest shot a few photos. We’d been hot on the ski up to the campsite at 10,400 feet, the sun bouncing off all the snow at our feet and up onto our faces, but as soon as the sun went under, the temperature would drop and the soft snow at the campsite would harden to ice overnight.

Mitsu, in a rush to pack and leave Portland, had forgotten his crampons, and thought he might be able to make do with his ski crampons. But he also had a splitting headache, and was drinking a cup of coffee in a desperate hope that maybe the caffeine would help.

I remembered wondering back in 2009 how the hell I’d find my way up the steep snowy slope in the dark, and the answer seemed funny now: we’d leave camp later. We were in decent shape, knew how long it would probably take us to get to the summit, and there were only four of us, climbing unroped. In 2009, I had trained for my Shasta climb by hauling a heavy pack up a steep hike near Denver once a week, figuring that was a good simulation. This time, I had hardly trained at all, except for all the trail running I’d been doing, and I was at least partly counting on knowing how to pace myself, something that had come with a lot of experience—and the lesson from our Shasta guides that going slow and not stopping was way better than going fast and having to stop and catch your breath every couple hundred feet.

The next morning, we got up at 5:00 to stomp around in the cold and make oatmeal and coffee in the dark. One by one, we left camp, figuring we’d be able to keep tabs on each other pretty easily in the wide-open gully. I started on my skis, skinning at a comfortable pace, then eventually popped them off and put crampons on my ski boots. Abi and I kept fairly close to each other all the way up, and Mitsu made it about two-thirds of the way to the top of the gully before throwing in the towel—he didn’t feel good about trying to finish the climb without crampons.

Abi and I made it to the top of Avalanche Gulch, heading around the Red Banks and plopping down in the snow for a break before the final 1,300-foot climb to the summit, less steep but maybe more miserable because of the decreased availability of oxygen higher up. I scanned the sky to the west looking for clouds, checked my phone for the elevation, and tried to estimate how much longer we might be climbing before we hit the summit. Abi, having crushed out 2,500 feet of climbing despite multiple warnings to us that she did not think she was in peak physical condition for something like this, tried to eat some Cheez-Its and updated me on how things were going in regards to menstruation and lactation: “I’m bleeding into my pants and I’m going to need to milk myself when we get down.”

I talked with Abi about apps that help you track your menstrual cycle, which is not something I thought I’d ever discuss with someone on the side of a mountain, and I thought about something my friend Jayson told me once in a discussion about traveling. He had been telling me about walking out of a tent to board a plane at the Nairobi airport, which was under construction at the time. I said something about how it sounded crazy compared to what we consider “normal” air travel, and he told me that he realized that whenever he had anxiety about traveling somewhere new, with all the things you think about, passports, visas, not knowing the language, not knowing how to get around a new country or a city, and generally feeling like a very nervous fish out of water, he’d see a mom juggling all the same stuff he was juggling while traveling, plus a kid or two, and looking like she wasn’t worried at all.We climbed the next thousand feet up Misery Hill, a slope that everyone will tell you feels like it’s never going to end, Abi just behind me, and Forest just behind her, until we arrived at the final rocky crown of the peak, bordered by a steam vent leaking rotten-egg-smelling sulfuric air everywhere.

Abi and I set our packs down in the snow to trudge up the final 300 rocky vertical feet to the summit of Shasta. The snowy climbers’ trail ended a few scrambly moves from the proper summit. I said Abi should go first because it was her first time up there and it was more important, and she said no, you go first because if I watch you do it, the exposure won’t seem so bad. I stood my ground and finally, Abi went for it, stopped to take in the view, and let some tears run down her cheeks. Forest popped his head up from around the corner behind me, and he and I moved up to the summit to take a photo with Abi.

After a few minutes, we picked our way down off the summit and back to our packs. Some guys who had come up just behind us put on their skis on the actual summit, and made a scrappy turn or two down from the top before continuing down. For about half a second, I wondered if I should have tried to ski off the real summit, but the idea flitted away immediately, because I’d gotten what I came for: a supporting role in helping my friend get to the top.

I clicked into my skis, Forest strapped on his splitboard, and we made our way down, stopping every few minutes to make sure Abi was doing OK plunge-stepping and glissading down, until we finally made it back to our tents at Helen Lake.

I’ve always seen Shasta as a sort of slightly more friendly volcanic cousin of Mt. Rainier, at least by each mountain’s trade route—Shasta is a couple hundred feet lower, and the climb is a bit shorter in both mileage and elevation gain. But Shasta is interesting on its own, in both the climbing and skiing, and the many legends about the mountain from UFOs, to Lizard People, to the ancient city of Telos that some claim lies under Shasta. I can’t speak on any of that other stuff, but I can say that I get why people like to tell stories about mountains.

Thanks for reading. These posts are able to continue thanks to the handful of wonderful people who back Semi-Rad on Patreon for as little as $1 a month. If you’d like to join them, click here for more info—you’ll also get access to the Patreon-only posts I write, as well as discounts to my shop and other free stuff.

—Brendan

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incorrectmlpquotes · 7 years

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I watched My Little Pony: Equestrian Girls (2013)

Or: This wasn’t what I signed up for when I started watching this show, but now I’m suckered in.

If I was better at planning things, I would have started with this review. But, here we are.

Some history As stated previously, I was not exactly excited to watch the Equestrian Girls movie (mainly because this commercial still haunts my nightmares). It was a lot better than I had expected, but that doesn’t mean it does;t have flaws. Lots and lots of flaws. The biggest of which being: this feels like fan fiction. Now, let me elaborate: I have seen a lot of people compare works to fan fiction implying that it’s bad or poorly written. That is not at all true or fair. Fan fiction can be complex and well-written and way more interesting than a lot of published fiction. But there are certain thing s a writer can get away with in fan fiction that doesn’t work in other writing. For example, in stories based on, say, a popular tv show, you don’t need to go into detail about a character’s appearance or characteristics because the reader already knows all of those details. A good writer uses a pre-established world and people to get right to the meat of a story and explore other aspects of them. That would be fine, except this movie was intended to be a back-door pilot to a new show. Let that sink in: they wanted to take a familiar and complex universe with a unique premise and make a high school au.

The high school au is actually an easy to understand phenomenon. The advice most given to young writers is “write what you know.” I’m not going to discuss whether or not this is good advice, but it does explain a few things. The average age for fan fiction writers is 12-20. What do people in this age know a lot about? The building they spend eight hours a day, five days a week for sixteen years sitting in, thinking about tv shows. Why shouldn’t they write bout their favorite characters doing the same? The problem arises when Hollywood executives who haven’t been in a high school for thirty years decide to screw up a simple concept by taking your favorite characters and using every high school cliche in the book. They do that so often in this movie, I made a bingo game for it. Feel free to play along:

Enough stalling, to the movie:

The film starts with the princess summit. If you didn’t see the (I can’t believe I’m writing this) controversial season three finale where resident brainiac Twilight Sparkle becomes a princess alicorn, too bad. This is not explained and will be a pretty important plot point. It is nice that they give some brief characterization at the beginning, but they don’t say the other Mane Six’s names. Didn’t this come out in theaters? A movie- even one based off a tv show- should provide this information so if someone who’s never seen the show watches it, they can understand the references. The Rugrats movies did it, the Wild Thornberrys movie did it, and this movie should have done it.

Perchance could this hooded figure that’s creeping about after dark be a villain? Meet Sunset Shimmer. She was Princess Celestia’s pupil who went rogue after her desire for great power overtook her good nature. Sound familiar?

No? Good

Ah plot contrivances . I understand that these are the bedrock to most movies based in magical universes, but it shouldn’t make me think “how convenient” every five minutes. Maybe I wouldn’t feel this way if it were actually explained what a moon means. They have days. They have months. They have years. HOW LONG IS A MOON? EXPLAIN YOUR UNIT OF TIME, EQUESTRIA!!!

Ok, Twilight’s reaction to being turned in to a human (?) is hilarious. I read that the writers made Spike a dog to avoid the weird dragon age implication, and it is pretty funny, but why does he know how she should act in this world? (And why does that outfit make her look like an anime character?)

I know they needed to get all the characters we the audience are familiar with into one long sight gag, but why is Diamond Tiara in a high school? How do ages translate in this universe? It’s things like this that reinforce the fan fiction argument

About the songs in this: they’re not great. They aren’t terrible by any means, but after season three (I actually quite enjoyed the songs in the finale) it’s a tad dissappointing

Over fourteen minutes in and we finally get to meet the Mane 6 doppelgängers and the villain antagonist of the piece. Aaaaand she’s a one-dimensional mean girl stereotype. Twilight can fight the literal spirit of chaos, but can she survive Regina George?

Actual Disney Princess Fluttershy. But how does she carry around any books without crushing those animals? My high school backpack would have squished Angel bunny

Princess Celestia: thousand year old omniscient being who raises the sun, demoted to a public high school principal. Not even a school board super intendant. It sucks to be you, babe. That design is beyond hideous btw

The instant they said “princess”, I just knew we were in for a ride. Look, that was the easiest comparison for what was going on in the MLP-verse, but the princess of a dance doesn’t really do anything. They get their pictures the school paper, and maybe the yearbook and that’s all. It’s not like she’s running for class president or something that would actually affect the student body

So are they seniors? There are three pictures of Sunset winning the title, so…

The moments of self-awareness are really jarring, especially because the principal just spoke to a new student without asking for transcripts or grades or anything

You know, maybe show a little more than just one scene of making Fluttershy cry (a feat so easy her pet rabbit does it on a regular basis) if you want me to believe that Sunset is so mean and scary. She’s not exactly Heather Chandler

If there is one phrase that needs to be expunged from screen-writers’ vocabulary, it is “rule the school.” It is quite possibly the single worst cliche I have ever seen and is usually the worst part of any high school movie. Maybe if Sunset was using her magic to control these people it would be different, but we don’t see that. The lunch room would be the perfect setting to showcase how she divides people in order to keep them weak (a la the Hunger Games), but no such luck

Some hilarious foreshadowing at the hands of Pinkie, and some flat exposition from Applejack. We get it! Sunset is a mean girl! Those exist, but it doesn’t make her an all-powerful villain! So far Rainbow Dash has been presented as a better antagonist than her. Your close friend can do more to stab you in the back than someone who’s shows up just complain about decorations

Sunset disrespected the cider! Kick her ass, AJ!

I’m really glad they found the only poorly-lit corner of the school to have the confrontation scene. But honestly, isn’t running unopposed kind of a pathetic way to win? Like, wouldn’t Sunset rather crush someone on her way to victory to establish dominance? The addition of the new mythos as to what happens when an element of harmony is brought to another universe is actually a nice addition, but I bet we won’t hear about it again until the climax

So the Main 6 5 were friends and something split them apart? I bet it must be something very serious to divide such a close friend group. Or perhaps a simple yet frustrating misunderstanding that ruins all suspense. Probably the latter. That photo of the younger characters is the most adorable thing i’ve ever seen, though

The moment I’ve been waiting thirty two minutes for: Rarity’s appearance! And it took me that long to figure out that they are basically all wearing the same outfit. I think this might be the case of designing for the merchandise before designing the characters: Doll skirts are waaaaaay easier to sew than doll pants, and those knee-high boots mean less anatomy to worry about. Did that toy line take off? I feel like I never see them in stores...

I suppose I should be asking why the school would care about someone they’ve never met doing something embarassing on a video, but in real life everyone would just assume Twilight was on drugs. Also, I’m pretty sure smear campaigns would get you disqualified from the race

So technology ruined their friendship. That’s not what’s said, but that is what’s being implied

This is the biggest example of how you can get by without detailed characterization in fan fiction but not published writing: the audience know what element each pony doppelgänger stands for because they’ve had three seasons to earn that trait. These characters have not. For the most part, none of them have even slightly acted like them. Rarity’s really the only one, being generous and helping someone she had never met hide from the crowd who has come to mock her shame. I suppose Fluttershy was kind, but Twilight stood up for her first and she was kind of just returning the favor. Applejack has’t had the chance to be honest (providing exposition does not count), Pinkie was visibly angry at one point, and and ending a friendship over a petty squabble is the exact opposite of loyalty. Rainbow Dash would not have ended the feud if Twilight hadn’t intervened. I know this is a seventy minute movie and they have to move the story along, but maybe have less montages and more exploration of character. Friendship is Magic parts 1 and 2 was only forty five minutes only and they managed to introduce a new world, characters, and a plot setup while keeping the story going

And just like that, the conflict is resolved. Rainbow’s design is HORRIBLE. What is up with that skirt? And more importantly: how does being bad at a sport mean you will be a good princess? Wouldn’t her willingness to fix a friendship say more about her character?

On to the annoying blue elephant in the room: I hate Flash Sentry. I hate him as a character plot device and I have no use for him. Here is what I have written in my notes for this scene:

Looking past the fact that only one main character has ever shown an interest in a romantic relationship, watching the normally competent and intelligent Twilight act awkward around a boy who (need I remind you) is a different species than she, makes me sick to my stomach. If you like him: fine. If you ship them: whatever. I do not care. This is not the worst ship I have seen come out of this show/movie, but he has no personality or character. He is generic “boy” character who could have been written out and the movie would have been the same. Every time he is in a scene, I roll my eyes and groan. That is all I’m going to say about him

Rarity being overly dramatic gives me life, but the speech about unity just beats you over the head with the movie’s message. I get the comparison, but being part of a school is not the same thing as being a part of a community or kingdom. The second you graduate, you stop caring about your high school. School pride is not the same thing as nationalism

So just to be clear: girl messes up using a copier = comedy gold. Group sings a frankly embarrassing song to the entire lunchroom = best thing ever, let’s vote for her. In real life, the principal would have just walked in and suspended all of them

Why on earth would they manually doctor the photos? It would be so much work to cut those things out. Is there no photoshop equivalent in this world? Why leave a paper trail? But, on the plus side, here is an actual dilemma! Twilight has to figure out another- Oh wait no, let’s resolve that instantly by having Blue Hair McThiscouldhavebeenliterallyanyone find the photos. It’s almost as if this scene was pointless.

Don’t flirt in front of the administer! Geez

Oh look, more conflict. Twilight has to get the crown and leave tonight. Maybe that scene did have a point. Some actual stakes, if this changed the plan to get the crown. But it doesn’t. We know they are going to redecorate the gym. This is just slowing down the plot and taking time away from developing the characters

This is a genuinely sweet scene with Spike. It is one of the best scenes in the whole movie, and it brings up a good point: Twilight feels alone because she is the only one who understands the full weight of what getting (or more importantly: possibly losing) the crown means, in this universe and her home. But she’s not alone because the people who are depending on her will support her and try to help no matter what the outcome is

HOW LONG IS THIRTY MOONS?!?!

Oh Pinkie Pie. You majestic creature

Oh my gosh, an actually appropriate reactions to a talking animal! Wow. Usually a movie like this would just have a character say, “huh, weird” and no one would react

So the conflict is once again resolved quickly. The problem is no more. This was slightly more satisfying because is did require other people to assist in fixing the gym, thereby bringing the divided school together, but it happened in one musical number. When you rush important plot points, they lose significance

Well, Twilight has six hours until she potentially loses her magic crown to the villain and is stuck in this world while Sunset takes over Equestrian, so IT’S TIME FOR A MAKEOVER MOTAGE!

The animals are helping Fluttershy get ready- this is proof she is a Disney Princess!

Ah yes, the formal cowboy hat. A staple of every dance

I don’t know anyone in real life who’s actually taken a limo to a dance

Remember how I said I wasn’t going to talk about Flash again? Well, I lied. His car screams “douche”, but his personality screams nothing at all because ewe know nothing about this character except he plays the guitar. Granted, that’s usually the amount of info we got about the love interest in a late nineties teen flick, but this isn’t one of those. Maybe instead of that soccer scene, they could have provided reasons for me to care about whether Twilight will dance with him. Just saying

The moment you’ve all been waiting for since it was set up in the first act has arrived. I know you were all on the edge of your seat wondering if Twilight would win.

Suspense is a tricky thing to do well. You need to build up to it without constantly reminding the audience to the point that they no longer care about it. There is a quote by Alfred Hitchcock that I’m not going to put in its entirety, but here’s the link, that basically says you can’t have a big Thing happen with no buildup. We know that something potentially bad could happen if Sunset gets the crown, but the majority of the movie has been about this darn dance. You almost forget just why Twilight wants to win, other than this is a high school movie. When you only leave fifteen minutes for the climax, with little to no build up (do we even know what Sunset can do?) it’s going to be unsatisfying. I might be putting way to much thought into this kids movie. But wait, no I’m not. This show is not one of the time-wasting cartoons of yore. It covers complex subjects and serious topics, so pardon me if I expect more out of them than cliche after cliche

In a rare display of actual villainy, Sunset offers Twilight a way home in exchange for the crown. This leads to one of the few scenes that shows her self-sacrifice: Twilight cares more about the safety of her home and her friends than her own comfort. I question what has Sunset actually accomplished there that’s so bad, but Twilight is acting noble (and I mean that in the most unsarcastic was possible)

And she just steals the crown. And becomes the most hilarious looking demon ever

How has no one pulled out their cell phone and videotaped this yet?

I question how effective the army of easily wounded humans would be against Equestrian, which is full of creatures who have magic, hooves, and stabbing horns, but whatever

What’s this? Could it be… the magic of friendship? Whoever could have guessed?

This magical pony transformation scene will really come back to haunt me (but at least no one said pony up)

If I’m being fair, this is basically what happened at the end of Friendship is Magic, part 2

So no one’s going to question what just happened? Has the internet desensitized them that much? Don’t act like you know what’s going on Celestia! And How are they going to explain the destroyed property to the insurance company?

Well, the evil has been defeated so it’s time for Twilight to go through the portal and return home. But not without a quick dance first

This scene is cute, I guess. And it is canon that Twilight can’t dance in horse form either

What was their backup plan if Twilight failed? Just wait around there?

Oh good, Twilight has the adventure of a lifetime so let’s end the movie on a really important note: talking about a boy. There’s your moral.

I know I nitpicked a lot (and overused “in real life”) but I do enjoy Equestria Girls. The first time I watched this movie, I was significantly more harsh than I should have been. It’s cute and mostly harmless, with some genuinely funny scenes. Despite the many many plot holes, it is an alright beginning to the series and most of the issues I took with this get resolved in later movies. The antagonist might me mostly absent and doesn’t play a huge role until the last fifteen minutes, but It’s worth sitting through this nonsense to see Sunset’s redemption arc. I don’t know how this would be as a standalone TV show, but there is a line of comics based on it that you can check out. 3.2/5 You know, for a universe that has a character named Cranky Doodle Donkey, Flash Sentry is still the worst name I have seen for a fictional character (and until I rewatched for this review, I thought his name was Flash Century). Here are some unused zingers I had for him: Flash Sentry sounds like a boy band from the early 2000s Flash Sentry sounds like a Flash Gordon fan fiction title Flash Sentry sounds like the name of a bankrupt film company Flash Sentry sounds like a character from Zoolander Flash Sentry sounds like a villain from Rocky IV Flash Sentry sounds like the name of a Fallout Boy song Flash Sentry sounds like the name of a horse that’s predicted to win the Triple Crown but trips during the Belmont … oh, I guess that joke’s not so funny when he’s actually a horse. But enough about me, what did you think? Were there too many scenes of Twilight not understanding the new world, or did those make the movie? Did Trixie have the best line in the entire movie? Will I get the sequel recap up in a timely manner?

#incorrect mlp quotes #mlp reviews #MLP Equestria Girls #equestrian girls review #MLP:FiM #incorrectmlpquotes

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