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wallwriterstuff · 3 years

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These Violent Delights ||Alec Volturi x Female Reader||

Part 3 of a request for @tiger-khans-blog

Part 1 - Obsession Part 2 - When You’re Lost I’ll Leave My Gaslight On

Warnings: Yandere!Alec, obsessive behaviour, unhealthy relationships and implied non-con later on. This is possibly one of the darkest fics I have ever written so please be aware if controlling behaviour, gaslighting etc. is triggering to you, do not read this fic.

This fic in particular contains graphic descriptions of violence and injury further down.

Words: 5543

Summary: With no idea what is and isn’t real anymore you’re beginning to lose your mind and suspect your loving mate isn’t all he seems to be. Desperate for some semblance of sanity you try one last time to clear your head, and the consequences are dire.

Demetri had suspected that there was something more going on beyond the surface. Y/N Swan was quite a sweet little thing and he had missed her greatly, but he respected her decision – as had Felix – to create some distance between them so she could learn to get along with Alec. Now Demetri was wondering if she’d ever made that decision at all. With increasing frequency Alec had burst into his room or the throne room with the declaration you were missing, and Demetri had immediately put his gift to good use. In almost all the situations Demetri had prepared for the worst, perhaps he’d find you kidnapped or injured somewhere after an outing gone wrong? But every time he’d found you you had been perfectly fine and dreadfully confused as to why he was there at all.

You were always doing quite mundane things. He didn’t even need to track you half the time to tell Alec you were at that little café whose pastries you adored. Sometimes you ventured further out, wanting to see the leaves changing colour in autumn in the park nearby. Other times you were literally right on their doorstep, drawing on the edge of the fountain. On those occasions Demetri stayed with you, letting you have a few minutes more of freedom, because he had started to notice a disturbing pattern – every time he found you you looked more and more lost. You had adamantly refused to accept Alec had not seen your note the first few times, but the doubt slowly crept in until you were entirely unsure of what you had or hadn’t done. Alec was never violent upon your reunion, playing the part of the concerned mate perfectly. He was always so relieved to have you back, but the boy seemed oblivious that you were obviously suffering.

You had lost that spark you used to have in your eyes, and your posture had become more slumped over. You were meeker, agreeing to whatever was put forward to you without question more often than not. Demetri was sure he could tell you the sky was purple and you’d whole heartedly agree, even if the blue was staring you right in the face. Your withdrawn personality didn’t seem to trouble Alec but it bothered him greatly. He wasn’t sure how it had happened but you were a shell of your former self, an anxious, meek little thing who looked nowhere near as happy as she should given she had found her mate. He had caught you in the kitchen once, tired from a day of studying Italian with Marcus as you had become want to do, berating yourself for dropping a pan on your toes while cooking. To say he was surprised to hear your cursing your ‘clumsy human hands’ was an understatement.

No, no Demetri was beyond suspicious, especially when you began to go ‘missing’ more frequently, looking more and more desperate each time he found you further and further out. You had fought him the last time he found you, pounding against his chest and begging him to not take you back. His concern had brought him in all good faith to Alec’s door while you slept one night.

“What can I do for you?” Alec asked, head tilting curiously. Demetri frowned.

“It’s about Y/N. I have some concerns, Alec.” He answered. Alec’s frown immediately depeened, his eyes growing darker.

“What concerns? Is she sick? She seemed fine when I left her to sleep.”

“No, no nothing like that, though I fear her mind may not be healthy. She seems…anxious, desperate to be out of the castle. Is there something going on Alec?” he asked. Alec’s already dark eyes turned black, the red leeching out of his irises so fast Demetri was almost shocked. His expression was cold as an arctic wind and his voice held little room for argument when he answered him.

“That is of no concern to you, she’s shared her worries with me already. You overstep Demetri, she’s my mate and I’ll care for her how I see fit.”

“I simply want to know if there is anything I can do to help. It’s no secret we care for the girl to Alec, let us help.” He frowned.

“What she needs from you, Demetri, is to be left the hell alone. Stop filling her head with poison. I know you talk at the fountain. She’s upset because you suggested she might be allowed to visit her family one day. They haven’t written to her in months, the false hope crushed her. Leave my mate to me and stop poking your nose where it doesn’t belong.” He snarled quietly. Demetri hissed quietly, his irritation flaring.

“What are you talking about? A letter arrived for her Tuesday gone.” He received a door to his face as his answer, the wood actually splintering a little with the force Alec slammed it with. He knew you had been getting letters frequently from the Cullen’s and your sister, he had seen some of them when the secretary was sorting the mail out, so why hadn’t you been getting them? If you were in such a deep spiral surely it was a contributing factor. The only thing he could think of was that the secretary hadn’t delivered them. But why? he flitted straight to her desk without another moment to spare, finding her packing up to leave for the evening. She jumped at his sudden appearance.

“Demetri, I didn’t see you there, how can I help you?” she was a new girl, the fourth one in the past two months, and he didn’t care to remember her name. His head tilted.

“You received a letter the other day for Y/N Swan did you not?” he questioned, leaning against her desk. She frowned, nodding.

“I did, I gave it to Alec to deliver, did it not reach her?” she asked, looking somewhat anxious now. Demetri paused, letting his mind work it over. So, Alec had been supposed to deliver that had he? How many more had he gotten his grubby little hands on? Demetri felt a quiet sense of horror dawn on him. It made a lot more sense suddenly, why you weren’t getting any of your family’s letters. Alec had taken them all to keep you from getting in touch with them. Was your silence towards himself and Felix the same? Orchestrated by Alec so not even you knew the real reason the three of you no longer spoke?

“Not on this occasion. Not to worry, thank you for your help, sweet thing.” He shot her a charming smile to mask his sudden anxiety and disappeared as quickly as he came, heading straight for the throne room. Maybe you hadn’t been going mad at all, maybe Alec was the one driving you insane…

“What is the meaning of this intrusion?” Caius growled, beyond annoyed with the way he had flung the door open in his haste. Demetri grimaced.

“My apologies Masters, but I need to talk to you urgently.”

You had to get out this time. The walls of old buildings scraped at your hands as you bolted down one alleyway after the next, swinging around corners and doing your best to stay upright as the cobblestones did their best to trip you. You couldn’t take it anymore. Your anxiety was at an all time high, panic attacks in the morning a common thing as you dreaded the day ahead – another day of disappointing Alec in all your human imperfection. There was no one you could turn to for comfort either, not with Demetri so busy all the time. He was less of a friend and more of a guard, dragging you back each time you left as Alec had promised you his duty as a guard entailed. The worst part was that you knew your feelings of inadequacy were completely unnecessary because you weren’t the one in the wrong, Alec was.

It had become more and more obvious he wasn’t letting you leave the castle, and sneaking out when you could became your one chance to see sunlight, to have any sort of freedom. When you’d tried to ask him about it he’d brushed you off again, telling you you were being silly and reminding you of all the times he’d taken you out to the Gardens, all the gifts you’d been given as apologies for missed opportunities to venture out into the world…but he’d been lying as long as you’d known him. Maybe he had learned to control his urges, but not his darkest impulses. Alec had wanted you all to himself and he had managed to succeed with his lies and deceit. It had been a complete accident, when you came across the mountain of lies he’d told. You had been waiting to surprise him (having stayed up to wait for him to finish his guard shift) when you spilt a glass of apple juice down your shirt. His closet was the closest place to find a replacement and it would hardly be the first time you’d taken a shirt of his.

The shrine in his closet was just too much.

Everything that had gone missing lay at an alter dedicated to you. Tears blurred your vision as the flash of ivory and familiar, scribbly writing permeated your mind once more. Letters – Bella’s letters. Your sister had never forgotten you. Alec had simply made you think she had. You had been right all along, the bundled-up letters proved as such, he had always been a monster. Selfish and ugly all the way to the core, Alec Volturi had never been your Prince Charming. How many other lies had he told? He’d isolated you until all you had was him, till you relied on him to get you through your day. No more. You tripped over your own feet, vision blurred by tears. The ground rushed up to meet you, a sharp sting ripping through your knee as you cried out, catching yourself with your hands before you could smash your face into the stone. Gasping for air, you tried desperately to fill your lungs, the rising hysteria making it difficult to steady your breathing. What if you couldn’t escape? Demetri always found you and he’d drag you back there, you knew he would. He couldn’t be allowed to find you, not this time, you had to keep moving and –

“Signorina?”

Your head snapped up, body scrambling to right itself despite the deep throbbing in your knee. A young man not too much older than yourself was slowly coming towards you, hands raised and expression concerned. He had a sort of roguish charm about him, tousled dark hair and equally as dark eyes (too lose to Alec’s angry onyx to be of any comfort) set in a tanned face. He had more colour to his skin than Alec could ever hope to have. With the sleeves of a plain white shirt rolled up to his elbows, top buttons undone and smart pants on, he must have been coming home from a shift as a waiter perhaps, maybe a barista in one of the fancier coffee houses in town, but you didn’t trust him at all. How could you trust anyone when the one person you had relied on had been a lying, manipulative, deceitful little –

“S-stay back.” You stammered, scrambling to get to your feet now. The tear in your skin oozed fresh blood, dampening your skin and making you whimper. It wasn’t that it hurt necessarily, though it did sting terribly, it was more the fear that you knew what lurked in the shadows of Volterra and if anyone smelled that…well, Demetri was a hundred times more likely to find you now, wasn’t he?

“I don’t mean you any…erm…ah…hurt?” he tried, his accent thick and his English clearly not at the level of fluency. If you were in a better state of mind you’d be at least grateful he tried, however he was still approaching you and you didn’t enjoy his proximity when you needed to move. You had to keep going, had to get to a bus stop or a train station, something! Was there even a place like that in Volterra? There had to be right? You took a step away from him, your leg failing you so you half fell, half limped forward. His arms were around you in an instant and you screamed, wriggling desperately to fight him off.

“Let me go! Let me go!”

“Merda! Smettila di lottare!” (Shit! Stop fighting!) he cursed, tightening his grip on you. Legs flailing, you threw your head back in a desperate attempt to get him to let go, your skull protesting as bone crunched beneath it. His arms dropped and you darted forward, only for your knee to give way once more. With another loud curse the boy was on-top of you then, glancing around wildly to see if anyone had noticed your scuffle yet. His weight atop you was almost suffocating given how much trouble you had already had breathing, and tears filled your eyes as you wriggled to try and be free of him.

“Get off of me! Help!” you screamed. Blood dripped from his nose onto your cheeks, hot and thick and oozing slowly down your cheek. “Stop it!” Strong hands encircled your wrists, pinning them harshly to the stone beneath you. It dug into your spine uncomfortably and it became very clear very quickly you were not escaping this boy.

“Stop!” he snapped, muttering a few choice words in Italian you had heard Felix use once or twice. His expression was contorted into a mask of pain, his nose swollen but not broken and his body holding tight to your own to keep you from moving. Your struggling was only serving to make you brush against him though, and it was clear the effect it was having on him was not helping him decide to let you go. If you had been in your right mind, you would have understood this boy was only trying to help, stop you moving to ensure you didn’t hurt yourself further, but in the moment your reality was warped and far too terrifying for you to see sense.

“Fuoco! Fuoco!” (Fire! Fire!) Your father had always taught you to tell fire rather than help, it attracted more attention he said. You didn’t attract the kind of attention you wanted. The boy was thrown off of you in a blur of movement, his body smashing into the brickwork of the house across from you. You heard the bones shattering, his ear-piercing scream ringing in your ears as a black cloak obscured his attacker. With or without the cloak you knew who it was, the smaller, lean stature, the ferocity with which he tore into his victim. You whimpered, eyes turning away from the poor boy. There was no way to help him now, not when Alec was busy popping his bones through his skin like one might spear a sausage with a cocktail stick at a party. Rolling to your front, you tried desperately to get your trembling limbs to cooperate, your hysterical screaming echoing off of the walls.

You had barely limped three steps when the screeching behind you abruptly cut away into a gurgling sound. Ice cold hands found your shoulders and you whirled desperately to try and fend Alec off, only to freeze at the sight of the poor, mangled boy behind you. His actions may not have been good, but he didn’t deserve to be folded in on himself like a human pretzel, bones poking out of his skin and blood gushing from an open wound on his throat. He was drowning in crimson, choked by the same saccharine liquid Alec was licking off of his thumb now, onyx eyes boring into your own with his usual apathetic expression hiding the pure mania in his eyes.

He hadn’t even fed, he’d killed the boy for sport.

“See what happens when you go out alone little human?” he asked. The bile rose in your throat too quickly to stop it and Alec obligingly held your hair as you turned to the side and threw up at your feet, hot acid burning the back of your throat and stomach churning violently. Panting, you kept your wide-eyed stare fixed on the cobblestones. Even then it wasn’t enough, a trail of blood slowly seeping its way towards you, descending downhill like some morbid snake writhing between the stones. You couldn’t keep the tears away this time as Alec’s breath, metallic with the scent of another man’s blood, sent a wave of dizziness over you.

“P-please…please d-don’t…I can’t…” your head spun, too many thoughts and feelings crashing and colliding and rendering you a stammering mess before you finally grew mute, your body growing cold. Alec held you tenderly, like you were the only thing in the world to him that mattered, his embrace as soft as cotton but cold, as though death itself had shrouded you. In the distant parts of your mind you recognised he was talking to you, but you didn’t dare listen. He was the serpent that tempted Eve, a voice of velvet spinning spider webs to ensnare you. Dimly, you noted that the boy’s blood was running past your toes now.

Was this how it ended for you? Had Alec finally had enough of your obedience training? Clearly it hadn’t worked. You felt filthy to the core for enjoying his embrace, but his arms were strong and held you when your legs couldn’t anymore, his honeyed words a balm to your aching soul, promising his own brand of everlasting love - the same brand he’d gotten you hopelessly addicted to. Even his scent made your head swim, fresh linen that should be so crisp and clear, refreshing, just drowned you further. Nobody would come for you now. Alec had finally gotten you in his grasp just as he wanted and you were far, far too tainted for anyone to save. The wounds his love had inflicted too deep, festering and rotting you from the inside out, and the worst part was, you had let it happen.

You had accepted every kind word, every smile, every present, every touch, as a gift bestowed on you that you were unworthy of. So blinded by the dazzling display of redemption were you you hadn’t seen beyond the surface of the superficial affection he laid at your feet, too enamoured with all he had become to see the old monster lingering in every smile and darkening of his eyes. Alec had never changed, he had simply wore you down, so when his frozen fingers pushed your jaw upward and to the left you didn’t fight, because deep down you knew you’d never stood a chance.

“It’s alright Y/N, you’re only human,” he whispered, “You can be forgiven for that…”

“How?” your voice cracked. Forgiveness seemed impossible. If Bella or your father or anyone you loved could see you now you knew forgiveness would not be the word on their lips. How could you be forgiven for letting yourself fall so far? How could you be forgiven for being the reason that poor boy didn’t go home tonight? He had chosen to try and help you and it had only gotten him brutally murdered. The only thing Alec had ever been right about was that you were only human. None of the terrible things that had happened to you or anyone surrounding you were your fault. The blame lay solely at Alec’s feet.

“By acknowledging your flaws and becoming something more.”

Somehow, despite all the evidence before you, you really hadn’t expected him to bite down. Some part of you still thought he was above that maybe. It was like lava pouring straight from his mouth into your veins, filling your wound until it spilled over and shot down your arms, through your torso, scorching your nerve endings. It spread rapidly and you couldn’t bite back the bloodcurdling scream that left you. Alec held you tight as your body jerked, trying to escape the inescapable, the agony was all internal, a fire consuming you from the inside out.

“Alec! Alec what did you do!”

“What I had to to protect my mate!”

“Good god Alec…”

“Look at this mess.” The voices were indistinguishable, heightened and then muted, blending and yet distinctive. Your vision was too blurred to figure out the faces behind the cloaks swarming you, ripping you from one cold embrace to the next. Everything was too hot and you couldn’t escape it, no way to tear yourself out of your own body as it was flooded with acid.

“Shhhh, shhh little human.”

“Demetri get her out of here before she draws attention to this scene.”

“D-D-De-“ you barely got half of his name out before another scream broke through your throat. You didn’t have the strength to hold it back, couldn’t feel the grip your friend had on you. The world was slipping away inch by inch as you drowned in a pool of molten fire, the surface disappearing and taking you with it. Maybe this was hell? Maybe your weakness had earned you a spot in eternal fire and torment and this was only the beginning of a very long forever?

“Just give in Y/N, let go, just let go.” Somewhere through the pain you were sure Demetri had said this to you, and you battered heart didn’t know how to take it. It beat erratically, every frantic thud hoping beyond hope it would take you closer to a reunion with Bella, with the Cullen’s, with anyone you held dear. Did Demetri just want you to fall unconscious or did he mean you to really let go? What did you have to wake up for in Volterra after all? Alec would never let you leave, that much was clear now. You tried to hold onto these thoughts, really debate them and use them to ground you and keep you there, but they scattered like ash with the rest of you as the fire built to a raging inferno and melted everything you ever were.

The intense agony was all you knew now. What else could you do? Trapped in your head your only option was to count the seconds between one wave and the next, each drowning bout of flame lapping at your soul, disintegrating who you were piece by piece. By the time the fire had started to recede you weren’t sure how much time had passed, if time even had meaning. You were amazed your heart had held out under the assault of venom. It started at your extremities, like something in your chest was winching the fire back in, but as the sweet and numbing relief of the cold crept in at your toes the fire in your heart burned hotter. A grunting sound was the first thing you’d heard beyond the screaming in your head for a while, and you realised it was you, desperately fighting back the cry building in your throat as the white hot core in your chest blazed through the last of your humanity.

By the time you slumped back down, your consciousness drifting back to you slowly, you were struggling to remember how you had gotten in this predicament in the first place. Where were you? Who was around you? You wanted Bella, oh you wanted your sister so badly. The air around you felt heavier on your skin, saturated with sharp scents that overpowered your nose and made your tongue tingle when you opened your mouth for that first gasp of air. Your eyes were next to snap open, immediately focusing on the cracks in the wooden beams and the stone ceiling, the dust mites floating in the air. There was an assault of noise next, voices chattering and laughing, birds twittering, cars honking and more, so much more. Hands flying up to your ears, you noticed how it felt different to move, more fluid somehow, and the bright shine in the corner of your eye mad you sit up and move your hand back towards the light.

It glittered. Your hand was crystal, reflecting light and throwing it against the walls where it shattered into rainbow patterns, dazzling your too focused eyes.

“Y/N?”

Danger. Danger danger danger danger danger –

“Felix, give her time…it’s alright young one, we are not here to harm you.” Another foreign voice. You moved so fast everything should have blurred, your body twisting and turning agilely as you shot off of the soft mattress and hit the hard wall with crushing force, stone chipping and falling around you while you dug your nails into the natural rock of the wall. The noise that ripped from your throat was threatening, air rushing up from your lungs and pushing out between your teeth. It shocked you enough to make you freeze, brain scrambling to catch up because there was no way that noise had come from you. Wait, who were you again? Who were they? The voices seemed familiar, but different, their faces to. The men were beautiful in a way nobody should ever be allowed to be, the flawless planes of their faces also reflecting diamond light across the walls as one slowly crept closer to you. Another hiss of air escaped your throat, warning him to stay back.

“Now who needs to give her time.” Felix, that’s what he’d called him…Felix! Your mind dredged up the murky images on demand, and you couldn’t help but frown as you tried to clear the image in your head. It was like watching the memories flow through dirty water, Felix and Demetri helping decorate your room with you, avoiding you in the corridors, no longer talking to you because Alec –

Alec!

“No.” you whispered, startled again into standing up straight, hand flying to your throat as a foreign, bell-like voice rang out. Demetri paused, letting your wild eyes take in the room.

“He is not here Y/N, the Masters’ are punishing him for his…indiscretion, by making him miss your awakening.” Felix chose his words carefully as Demetri slowly continued forward. It was so hard to focus, so much noise, so much to see, so many thoughts spinning rapidly through your mind. It worked faster now, you noticed, your brain working at top speed in a way you knew you’d only achieve with a substantial amount of caffeine if you were still human. Thoughts of Alec consumed you. Where was he? What had become of the boy he had murdered? Would he be kinder to you now you were no longer human? No longer imperfect…

“Y/N, try to focus, I know there is a lot to process right now.” Demetri sounded apologetic almost and your eyes snapped to him.

“I want to go home.” You whispered. Even as you said the words there was an uncomfortable tug in your gut, like something sharp had nicked at your intestines almost. The idea made you uncomfortable.

“What you need right now is to feed.” Demetri amended, his hand gentle on your arm. His words started an inferno in your throat. It was like the worst sore throat you’d ever had multiplied ad infinitum, the burn scorching from top to bottom while your gut twisted horribly. You weren’t just hungry, you were starving.

“Of course that’s what she needs, what newborn doesn’t?” the voice was smooth, so hypnotic you couldn’t help but relax, silently pleading to hear more. If your blood hadn’t already frozen over, you swore it would have upon seeing Alec again. He held what you assumed was the secretary in his arms, given her smart attire, but it was difficult to focus on little else other than the thrumming of her pulse, the tattoo in your brain even more hypnotising than his voice had been. Neither Demetri nor Felix could catch you as you dipped beneath their arms and snatched the body straight out of Alec’s hands, desperate to stop the burning in your throat.

“Y/N don’t!” Demetri’s voice sounded far off, almost like you were listening to him through cotton wool. The sound of blood flowing, a heart thumping…it was far far louder. Your body moved on autopilot, teeth clamping onto soft flesh. After that first burst of sweet, hot blood, your mind went completely blank. The taste was sublime, so intense on your tastebuds like nothing else had ever been. It soothed the fire in your throat some, a torrent of red dousing the flames and soaking your skin. When you could no longer take mouthfuls of the saccharine substance, a needy whine bubbled up in your throat, the tap running dry far too soon for your liking. Your throat still itched.

“Shhhhhh, I know, I know. Do not worry my love, we’ll find you more.” That voice, that hypnotic voice…with the fire in your throat calmed somewhat it was clearer in your ears, helping to ease your desperation and focus your mind some. The fingers in your hair were gentle, the occasionally brush of their skin against yours warm and inviting. You leaned into the tender touch gratefully. There was a scent too, the most intoxicating, fresh linen and pine scent, a hint of something smoky lingering underneath. Inhaling deeply, you let strong arms pull you into a firm chest, taking in lungfulls of that heady scent and letting your turbulent thoughts calm to the rhythm of the fingers running through your hair.

“Alec…”

You gasped slightly, eyes snapping open from your half-lidded gaze. The name had filled you with fear, trepidation, but the sensations surrounding you right now…you were in a safe, hazy little bubble, it was difficult to feel the fear you thought you should. You had totally forgotten he was even in the room and it was no small shock to you that he was the one holding you, that he had created this internal sense of tranquillity you were drowning in.

“I will not let my mate starve, the Masters’ and their punishment be damned.” The smooth bass of a sprightly young voice that filtered in your ears was so similar yet so different. Alec’s voice was nothing short of mesmerising and when you looked up at him his face was just as distracting. Smooth, flawless skin, pale as the moonlight on ocean waves, stretched like an unblemished canvas across high cheekbones and a strong jaw. You could trace the perfect curve of dark eyebrows with your finger, run your hands through the soft tresses of dark hair that framed his face and brushed his eyes. Crimson red eyes peered into your own, softened by adoration and desire.

It was as if your very heart burst forth from your chest to reach out to his. You never wanted anyone else to look at you the way Alec did. Suddenly, nothing he did had mattered, because you were the imperfect one before. This man before you…you saw it now with your new eyes, saw his God-like status for what it really was. You had been unworthy until now. He had elevated you to the same status, was able to love you deeply now.

“Alec.” You breathed his name like it was a quiet prayer. His fingers moved from your hair to your jaw, slowly tracing over your cheekbone with his thumb.

“Welcome back. You are…you’re breath taking.” He gently lowered his forehead to yours and you pushed back lightly, desperate to envelop yourself in the warmth his skin now radiated.

“Really?” you whispered.

“Of course.” Alec promised. You closed your eyes, drowning in his heavenly scent.

“Y/N…you’ll need to feed some more. Perhaps we can then contact the Cullen’s and see about getting you home. We don’t usually allow newborns to stay in the castle.” Demetri spoke up finally, shattering the peaceful quiet surrounding you. That pinching sensation in your gut was back again, your eyes widening. Alec had finally accepted you! You were finally good enough and Demetri just wanted to – to send you away? No. No absolutely not. Any thoughts of going home that you had once entertained were long gone. You couldn’t leave now, not when you had to show Alec how grateful you were, how you were better now like this.

“Do I have to go?” you whispered. Alec shook his head.

“Of course not Y/N, your place is here, with me.” His lips were so soft on your own, a shiver rolling down your spine at the rightness of it. He was your perfect fit. You were made for all of his light and dark, to bear the brunt of his best and worst. You hadn’t been before, but you were ready now, ready to survive his obsession.

These violent delights have violent ends

And in their triumph die, like fire and powder,

Which, as they kiss, consume. The sweetest honey

Is loathsome in his own deliciousness

And in the taste confounds the appetite.

Therefore love moderately. Long love doth so.

Too swift arrives as tardy as too slow. Friar Lawrence, Romeo and Juliet, Act 2 Scene 6, by William Shakespeare

#twilight #twilight fanfiction #alec volturi #alec volturi x female reader #demetri volturi #felix volturi #dark themes #obsession #request

152 notes · View notes

gisellelx · 3 years

Note

I think I speak for everyone when I say - can you please write about Esme & Rosalie

By “write about” do you mean fic, or meta? I usually tend toward actual fic when I have something I need to know about. I feel something like, “Oh I need to see what happened here,” and from that comes a fic. That was how this whole thing started: I read Edward's comment in BD about talking to Carlisle about having sex with Bella and went, "Oh that had to have been an awkward conversation, wonder what that was like...." and so "The Talk" was born, and well, that was 12 years ago.

I haven’t written fic about Esme and Rosalie or even written in their POVs much because even though I am fascinated by them, their stories are hard. They are dark. Inhabiting their headspaces is not easy to do. No one is more surprised than I am that so far in Cien Años 75% of the POV is Esme. I guess she has had stuff to say to me all along! Nevertheless, I think this will be forthcoming at some point, and in fact, I'm pretty sure I'm going to capture Esme’s reaction to Carlisle turning Rosalie, because I truly believe she was horrified. Rosalie permanently altered Esme's relationship with Carlisle in ways that they're still suffering blowback from. So here's some meta in the meantime.

That moment would’ve ripped open wounds that she and Carlisle hadn’t talked about as much as they needed to. Of course, some of these things came to the fore when Edward killed Charles and Carlisle was somewhat meh about it, and they spent a long time working through that. But there’s a big difference between your husband being kind of okay with your husband getting murdered (even if your son murdered him) and him bringing home another woman because she’d been brutally gangraped. That would’ve caused all sorts of things to surface for Esme, and would’ve been bewildering for Carlisle, who would’ve thought that they had figured the whole thing out. I don’t believe for a minute the “Of course you couldn’t [leave Rosalie in the street]” from Esme in Eclipse was the end of it. Or perhaps I do believe that it was, but that her own acquiescence means she ends up unhealthily shoving things down. And I think there’re some serious feelings about the negative consequences of Carlisle’s choices not only for Rosalie, but for Esme which sit there, festering, for the bulk of their marriage.

Esme would feel incredibly maternally protective toward Rosalie. She is undoubtedly hurt that Rosalie doesn’t accept her as a mother. And yet, she knows what it is to live eternally with the memory of rape. So there is a part of her that is protecting Rosalie from Carlisle, and from Edward, and from the ways that they remain naïve about the complexity of rape at the hands of your marital partner. Carlisle’s and Edward’s solution to this, remember, is “Well, just kill them and it's all fine.” (e.g. Carlisle's "I looked the other way" in the dinner table summit in MS.) But it can never be that straightforward for Esme and Rosalie, who had, at least on some level, convinced themselves that Charles and Royce would be acceptable, even good, partners. There’s little about Rosalie’s character otherwise which suggests she’s a soulless killer--beginning with the fact that she killed only her rapists and didn’t spill any of their blood, and then continuing on to Bella, which is not at all about killing and but is about protecting her family. So I don’t think she did that and then went, “Welp, great, that’s over!” in the same way I doubt that Esme went, “Edward has taken care of Charles, what a relief!” The pain of those deaths and the conflict of feeling both happy and sad about them just sits there for both of them. And they both pretend for the sake of Carlisle and Edward that they’re perfectly happy, and that’s a hard, hard dynamic. (I think Rosalie is much more honest with Emmett about this and and that in turn complicates the dynamic between Emmett and Carlisle and Emmett and Edward.)

And Esme has to choke it down a lot harder than Rosalie does. Edward and Rosalie, in their petulance, both get to scream at Carlisle on occasion about their anger for his taking their deaths away from them. Esme does not. Rosalie’s presence in their family makes it much harder for Esme to convince herself that what Carlisle did was unilaterally a good thing, but she can't freely yell that at Carlisle. So Rosalie permanently complicates their marriage.

I should point out here that this is a difference between what I think SM intended and what’s realistic based on what SM put on the page and you know, how people actually work. I absolutely believe SM intended for both of them to just have their amazing husbands and their beautiful bodies and to love their existence, as evidenced by the fact that she allows Rose, before and after her explanation in Eclipse to just be a cardboard cutout who only exists to antagonize Edward and hold Renesmee. I don’t think she thought at all about what it would be like for Esme, a domestic violence victim, to have her husband, whom she'd just spent a decade learning to trust, bring a rape victim home and with the idea that she would become Edward’s mate, wtf. SM clearly intended Esme to be the perfect, Mormon stepford wife, and for Rosalie to be the cautionary tale for Bella that not having a child makes a woman go crazy. However, that’s an artifact of the fact that every character in the story who is not Edward and Bella was created to serve Edward and Bella’s story, and it doesn't actually match other things she wrote about these women (Rosalie being willing to kill Royce and his friends; Esme running from Charles at whatever cost). When you truly round out a character, and spend some time thinking about how the backstory you’ve envisioned for them actually affects the way they might behave in a given situation, you end up with characters who don’t always cooperate fully with the plot you've otherwise envisioned. That’s a lot more interesting to me as a writer, and one reason I remain fascinated by this series.

Esme and Rosalie are bonded by their desire to be mothers and by the horrors they were subjected to at the hands of their men. In canon, they get opposite catharses for these problems. Rosalie is able to openly resent Carlisle for trapping her in her worst moment; Esme struggles with acknowledging that she also feels pain there. Esme meanwhile, gets to be a mother, especially to Edward, while Rosalie never gets to have that desire fulfilled. I imagine that their relationship is rich, fraught, and very, very complex as a result.

#esme cullen #rosalie hale #carlisle cullen #edward cullen #tw: rape #tw: domestic violence #meta #asks

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night-unfurls-its-splendour · 3 years

Text

I just *actually* watched Twilight for the first time.

I have some thoughts.

I mean Kristen Stewart cannot act. That's a big thing. And Taylor Lautner... i don't wanna talk about it. But mainly Bella is kind of a bitch in this movie. Not that I'm a huge fan of Bella in the book, but in the movie she's a lot less proactive and doesn't even try to be nice to her classmates. Book!Bella has like.... good moods. Movie!Bella doesn't seem to. Book!Bella gets excited about the few but important sunny days; in the movie there's no noticeable change in her mood. Book!Bella actually looks forward to dress shopping with her friends because its something familiar that reminds her of her mom, who she misses, and gives thoughtful advice on Jess and Angela's dress choices. Movie!Bella is really obvious about the fact that she doesn't really care.

And I really hate how the movie turns all the kids at Forks High into extremely cringey caricatures and stereotypes. That's very bad. Hate that.

But back to my issue at large: the things I remembered moist vividly from the book in the ten years between my readings of Twilight had either been cut, changed or rearranged. These are the pivotal scenes for me.

The scene on the Driftwood tree when Jacob tells her the stories (the fact that its pretty warm and not so oppressively cloudy on this occasion)

Bella's morning of research, her walk into the misty woods afterward, sitting knees up on the fallen tree, leaning against the trunk in the Emerald haze

the conversation in the SECLUDED BOOTH (at the restaurant in Port Angeles, the continuation of that conversation in Edward's car which establishes their relationship; this is hugely important because this is the moment their relationship is established. It'a integral to me that the Vampire conversation happens here.

the all-important meadow. It seems awful to me that the existence of the meadow itself, Edward's sanctuary, the one place that is private to him alone that he makes the conscious decision to open up to Bella and share with her, is kind of brushed off in favour of the dumb choice for this just to be a random spot out a could miles behind the school... i mean TWILIGHT WAS INSPIRED BY AND WRITTEN AROUND THAT MEADOW! I was not a huge Edward x Bella 4EVER Twihard, but it was never lost on me how important out was that this is Edward's special place. More to the point though is that because Edward and Bella's relationship was established in Port Angeles it can be defined here in the meadow. Here, Edward confronts his inner demon. Its even more pivotal post-Midnight Sun because we know that this moment is literally do-or-die. That Edward might have killed Bella here cannot be understated. Not that Robb didn't slay the "as if you could outrun me!" Part in a way that actually makes reading it better and less cringey for me, but the intimacy that is instrumental in this scene is lost in the hyperactive 360 tracking shots and, errr, creative (?) Camera work. Seriously what was Hardwicke's thought process here? Was it like those early youth TV music interviews where the interviewers were only given one minute to talk to an artist because the producers thought teenagers couldn't pay attention to any one thing for longer than that? This scene didn't need to be more active. It needed to be every bit as intimate as the book and much, much warmer looking. They even robbed us (heuh ;3) us of Edward's bare chest. And the sparkling was so hugely underwhelming. Instead of looking like he's made of diamond, it just looks like a toddler threw some glitter on him. I could hardly even see it. Because they didn't allow the relationship to be established in Port Angeles, it is established in the not-meadow and defined.... in the same scene. It makes the pacing of the romance and the idea of Bella being "unconditionally and irrevocably in love" a lot less believable.

Twilight is an extremely aesthetic book and while there is plenty of scenery porn in this movie, it doesn't facilitate the intimacy of these characters.

Much in the way I hate what they did to the kids of Forks High, it doesn't help recreate the isolated tone of the book that they shoehorn in the Townsfolk (TM) that Book!Bella has nothing to do with. In order to shoe-horn in these townfolk, we never see Bella cook even one dinner for her dad. NOT. ONE.

There is some good stuff here.

Peter Facinelli as Carlisle, Billy Burke as Charlie, Jackson Rathbone in general.

But most of all...

This expression.

#twilight saga #twilight renaissance #twilight movie #edward cullen #bella swan

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green-eyed-weirdo · 4 years

Text

If you took a sip for every broken promise, you’d end up with an empty cup

This one was supposed to be for the last day of Bechloe week, Cheating. Two months later, it’s now finally finished. The story is based on the Dutch song ‘Lippenstift’ (which translates to lipstick).

As mentioned in the prompt; it’s about cheating. Consider yourself warned. But don’t worry, they DON’T cheat on each other!! ;)

Read below or on AO3.

The one with ‘Skip’.

Living with Chloe has always been easy. Beca feels that, from the moment the two of them met, Chloe has always been able to read her. Where others would have trouble getting past her not-so-sunny personality and her sarcasm, Chloe had always understood her.

Growing up, Beca had built up some pretty solid walls around her, and Chloe seemed to have moved right past them. For some reason, Beca had let her. It took some time getting used to having such a happy, bubbly person around her all the time, but after Chloe had proclaimed they were going to be fast friends, all Beca could do is resign in her fate: Chloe was going to be her best friend.

When they moved into the Bella house, Beca had realized how much she loved spending time with Chloe. She enjoyed having the other Bella’s around as well, of course, but her relationship with Chloe was on a whole other level. After only a few months of living together, they had formed such a bond, they knew what the other was thinking just by looking at them. Their friends joked about it all the time, saying how they worked and lived together, but also argued like an old married couple.

After graduation, Beca had landed a job as a junior music producer at BFD records in New York City. Chloe didn’t think twice when Beca had asked her to come to New York with her and so their old married couple habits moved to New York with them. They had settled into a comfortable routine pretty quickly and Beca was very happy with the direction in which her life was going. Except for one thing. Or rather, one person. She was moving in the wrong direction.

Living with Chloe had always been easy, until about four months ago. Both of them had been casually dating here and there, the occasional hook-up, but nothing too serious. Beca has no idea what exactly happened four months ago, but from one day to the next, Chloe had started desperately looking for love. Every guy she met, every date she had, they were all ‘the one’ until they weren’t.

Beca hates seeing Chloe like this. To her, Chloe is the kindest, most beautiful, most amazing woman in the world and with this serial dating she’s been doing lately, it seems she has lost all respect for herself. It breaks Beca’s heart because Beca loves Chloe. Like, really loves her. Of course, she has never told her. Or anyone for that matter. No one except, surprisingly, Aubrey.

Aubrey had called her out after the campfire at the retreat, during senior year. According to Aubrey, it was written all over Beca’s face that she was in love with her best friend. Beca had tried to deny it at first but soon had to realize there was no use. Aubrey knew, and maybe that was for the better. Now she at least had someone to confide in.

They have been in New York for almost a year now. Beca had hoped her crush on her best friend would fade, but in reality, it had only gotten stronger. She was very grateful for Aubrey, who was always there, on the other end of the phone, when she needed to vent.

Over the past few months, since Chloe started seriously looking for ‘the one’, that has happened more frequently. On more than one occasion, Aubrey had tried to convince her to just tell Chloe the truth about her feelings. Sadly, Beca had never been very good with words and had not yet been able to say the words out loud.

===

On her way home after a long day at the studio, Beca tries to get her mind off the pile of work still waiting for her on her desk. She is looking forward to a relaxing evening, watching movies and having dinner with her best friend. As she gets off the subway, she thinks to send Chloe a quick text to check if the coast is clear.

BECA: On my way home now, be there in 10 Is he gone?

CHLOE: Not yet Getting dressed now He’ll be gone before you get here, promise

BECA: Good. See you in a bit.

CHLOE: xxx

===

Chloe had been dating this dude for about two months now. Honestly, she couldn’t even call it dating. Chloe had been seeing this dude. This married dude, to be exact.

They’d met in a coffee shop downtown and hit it off right away. After lots of texting and two dates, Chloe had found herself head over heels in love with this guy. Beca, however, had a bad feeling about him. For example, he would always come to their apartment, Chloe never went to his. Also, he rarely took Chloe out in public. But the thing that annoyed Beca the most, is that he would go days on end without texting Chloe back or answering his phone. That usually happens right when he leaves their apartment, after what Chloe calls ‘a date’. (In reality, he comes over, they eat something and have sex. Beca does her best to keep her opinions to herself though).

Chloe went through a few stages of emotion with that last one. In the beginning, she would get worried, later on, she’d get pissed and now, after two months, Chloe just seems sad when she doesn’t get a response for days.

When Beca had carefully brought this up to her best friend, Chloe’s expression had dropped. A little embarrassed she had explained to Beca that her new lover was married. “They are separated but he is still living with his wife at the moment. But he has basically already left her,” Chloe had assured her best friend. Beca had been suspicious about the story but had left it at that. As said, that was two months ago.

From the moment Chloe had started seeing him, Beca has gone out of her way to make sure she isn’t home when he’s there. Cheating is a sore subject for her and she really doesn’t want anything to do with the situation. Chloe understands and makes sure to inform Beca whenever he would be there. Every now and then, Beca would comment on it, but she knows Chloe has lost herself in this guy too much to listen to her anyway.

As kind of a funny, snarky joke, Beca calls the guy ‘Skip’. She knows that’s not his real name but calling him ‘Skip’ would hopefully, eventually get her message across. The message that this guy is not going to stick around. He will skip out on her and go back to his wife soon enough and leave Chloe heartbroken. Beca was both awaiting and dreading that day.

===

Exactly ten minutes later Beca opens the door to their apartment building and walks into the stairwell. She’s exhausted from the long day she’s had and has to literally will her feet to move and carry her up the stairs. They live on the third floor, so she still has a good way to go. On her way up, she hears feet stomp down the stairs and a guy answering his phone.

“Hey, baby!” She hears him say in the sweetest voice, that almost makes her throw up in her mouth a little. “Yes, work has been insanely busy today. I know, honey, I know. I’m on my way home right now. Yes, I promise!”

Beca stops at the landing between the first and second floor to let him pass. She glares at him as he rushes past her saying “I love you too, baby” into his phone. In his quick passing, she notices a flash of light red on his collar. She smirks to herself when she recognizes Chloe’s favorite color lipstick. “Talk your way out of that one, asshole”, she thinks.

Beca looks up in the direction of her apartment and already knows the scene she’s about to walk into.

This exact thing has happened many times before over the past two months. Beca has seen her best friend change from a bubbly, confident woman into a vulnerable girl who cries more than she smiles. It breaks her heart even thinking about it.

=== 5 weeks ago ===

Beca had been out for a drink after work with a few co-workers. Chloe had texted her earlier that her new boyfriend would be coming over, so Beca had made an effort to stay away. A little buzzed she walked up the stairs of their apartment building, hoping she’d stayed out long enough. Just as she headed up the final steps, she saw him coming down the stairs, phone to his ear. “Yes, baby, I’m on my way now. My meeting ran late, I’m sorry. See you in a few. Love you.” Beca looked back at the guy in disgust as he walked past her giving her no notice whatsoever. She immediately understood what was going on though and hurried up the stairs to talk to Chloe.

As she throws open the door to the apartment, she sees Chloe busy cleaning up the dishes from dinner. A little out of breath, she puts her jacket away and joins Chloe in the kitchen.

“Chlo, you okay?” Beca noticed right away her best friend looks sad.

“Yeah, I’m okay” Chloe lies.

“I have to tell you something. I don’t really know how to tell you this, so I’m just going to say it.” Chloe looks at her with a questioning look. “I think he’s lying to you, Chlo. I passed him on the stairs and he was calling her ‘baby’ over the phone. It definitely didn’t sound like a couple getting a divorce.” Beca sees Chloe is avoiding to look at her.

Without a word, Chloe walks out of the kitchen and into the living room. She sits down on the couch and keeps looking at her hands. With a soft voice, she says “I know”. Beca had followed her best friend into the living room and squats down in front of her.

“You know?”

“Yeah… He’s still married.” And with those words, Chloe breaks down. “He says their marriage is practically over. He loves me, he really does, Bec. He’s going to leave her soon.” Beca doesn’t really know what to say.

“Chloe, how… why…” She is shocked that her beautiful, amazing best friend would allow someone to treat her like that.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” Chloe blubbers through her tears. Beca stands up at that and walks to the kitchen. She opens the fridge and gets out two bottles of beer and a tub of ice cream. As she walks back, she tells Chloe to pick a movie. Chloe shoots her a grateful smile as they settle on the couch.

===

Beca is startled out of her memory by a door slamming a few floors up. Her exhaustion forgotten, she jogs the rest of the way up the stairs, to get to Chloe as fast as she can. As she opens the door, she immediately spots her sitting on the couch, tear-stained face, staring straight ahead. Beca pushes down the anger she feels coming up at the sight of her heartbroken best friend and springs into action.

She goes through her very familiar routine of getting two beer bottles and the tub of ice cream and sets it down on the coffee table. She sits down on the couch next to Chloe and pulls her into a hug. After about a minute, she looks at Chloe and gently wipes the tears from her face. She gives her the remote and tells her to pick a movie while she gets comfortable on the couch. They don’t talk about it this time.

===

As the final credits of the movie start rolling, Beca looks down at her lap and notices Chloe has fallen asleep. Beca had been playing with Chloe’s hair for the last 20 minutes and she knows this has a calming effect on her. She carefully gets up and covers Chloe with a blanket to let her rest for a little bit. “Dinner can wait”, she thinks.

Beca takes out her phone and while walking to her bedroom, she thumbs the number of the person she needs to talk to right now. With a shaky, watery breath she puts the phone to her ear.

Aubrey answers on the first ring and before she can even explain why she’s calling, tears start rolling down her face. Weirdly enough, Aubrey has always been good at calming her down and this time is no different. Beca goes on to tell her what has happened tonight. “I wish she’d realize he’s never going to leave his wife,” Aubrey says with a sigh.

“I know. She is honestly worth so much more than this, it breaks my heart. This is going to sound so mean, but… I wish he would just end it. Or that his wife would find out. I mean, I saw Chloe’s lipstick on his collar when I passed him on the stairs.” she says it with a smirk and hears Aubrey snort a laugh. “But in all seriousness, Chloe would be heartbroken, but it would set her free, you know?” Aubrey hums in agreement.

“I don’t know what to do anymore, Aubs.” Beca pleads with her friend.

“I mean, there is one thing you could do…” Aubrey starts hesitantly. “You could, you know… tell her how you feel.”

“I have been though! I’ve been telling her for weeks…”

“You know that’s not what I mean, Beca.” Aubrey interrupts her.

“Yeah, I know…”

“I really think she’d want to know. I’m pretty sure it’ll change things.”

Beca isn’t convinced confessing her feelings to Chloe will change anything, but Aubrey seems to be pretty certain. With a promise to think about it, they wrap up their call and hang up.

Expressing her feelings has never really been Beca’s strong suit. Music on the other hand… totally her thing. She picks up her guitar and starts playing, humming to the soft melody that seems to come naturally.

===

Oeh you, I thought you knew better Always thought you were better than that

Oeh you, are so naive, so lost in dreams So in love, head over heels, and he...

=== 3 weeks ago ===

She’d known Chloe was with ‘Skip’ so she again made an effort to stay out as long as she possibly could. She hated seeing Chloe all smiley and heart-eyed when she was with this guy because she knew what was to come after he closed the door behind him. Chloe would yet again be a mess, and Beca would sit with her all night, picking up the pieces.

Beca had come home that night to a particularly heart-wrenching scene. He had been standing by the front door, ringtone screaming from his back pocket while the two said their goodbyes. She’d slipped past him into the apartment without giving them a second look and walked straight into her room to put her work stuff away.

Walking back out into the living room she heard him say: “Chloe, I really have to go. She keeps calling, I can’t keep dodging her calls.” She sees him give Chloe a quick kiss saying “thanks, this was fun” and with that, he leaves the apartment. It’s clear Chloe wants to say something else (probably beg him to stay a little longer) but her face drops as he rushes out the door, and she closes it quietly.

She turns around to see Beca looking at her with a sympathetic look on her face. “Please Bec, don’t. Not right now.” Chloe looks away and starts walking towards her bedroom.

“Then when Chloe?” Beca challenges her best friend. “You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

Chloe looks at her with a defiant look in her eyes. “Do what exactly? Please Beca, enlighten me with your expert opinion.” Chloe knows she’s not playing fair and she sees it on Beca’s face too. Beca has had her fair share of experience with a dad leaving her family for another woman. Still, she just couldn’t help herself, she just feels so much frustration.

“Chlo...” Beca pleads “you know he’s not being real with you. Please, Chloe… he’s not worth all this!” Beca’s voice gets louder as she speaks the words she’s been holding in for a while.

“No! You’ve got it all wrong, Beca! He doesn’t love her anymore, he loves me. He promised he’ll leave her soon and then we can be together. It will happen, you’ll see!” Beca sees hope in Chloe’s eyes. It sparks anger inside of her that she didn’t know was there.

“He tells you all these sweet little things, all these promises… Chloe, he goes home and tells her the exact same things!” Beca sees a tear rolling down Chloe’s face as she looks down at her feet.

Beca takes Chloe’s hands in hers and wills her voice to soften before she speaks again. “Honey, I know you really like him, that you really enjoy spending time with him. But you can never go out together, never leave this apartment. Chlo, he’ll never hold your hand or kiss you in a public place.” Chloe looks down at her hands in Beca’s and then looks up at Beca. Without a word, she pulls her hands free, walks into her bedroom and closes the door behind her.

Beca releases the breath she was holding and wipes the tear that has run down her face. She can hear Chloe crying in her room and her heart breaks for her best friend. She turns around and walks to the fridge to get the ice cream and beer. She’ll give her a moment to collect herself, but after that, as always, she will be there to pick up the pieces.

===

Beca continues humming the melody and writes down the next set of lyrics that flow from her brain. She feels the lyrics so strongly. Does Chloe not know how beautiful she is? She doesn’t understand why she would let this guy treat her like this. All the questions swimming in her head just flow out of her.

What do you want to be? Someone's lover or their biggest secret? Will you set yourself free? Or will you choose someone who’ll never be there when you need it?

Ask yourself, even if you’re hurt; Aren’t you worth a lot more than just the lipstick on his shirt?

I see your lipstick on his collar, babe but you are worth so much more than that I see it on his collar, babe but you are worth so much more than that

====

Beca feels a tear roll down her face as she goes through what she’s got so far. Writing lyrics has never been something she was really good at, but apparently, this particular situation had given her the inspiration she needed. She starts from the top and plays through it again, in the hopes the next part will come naturally.

=== last week ===

Wednesdays are Beca’s work from home days. She gets to sleep in a little and just spends the day doing administrative stuff and playing around on her mixing board. She really enjoys these days, mostly because Wednesday happens to be Chloe’s day off. They have breakfast together, Beca starts work while Chloe does some housework, they have lunch together, Beca goes back to work while Chloe goes out for groceries and they finish the day together in the kitchen, Beca wrapping up the last of her work while Chloe cooks dinner. It’s very domestic and Beca loves it.

However, this Wednesday was a little bit different. They’d just finished lunch when Chloe’s phone started buzzing on the table. “It’s him” she shoots Beca an apologetic smile while she steps away from her. Beca feels instantly annoyed but decides not to dwell on it for too long. She puts the dishes away and walks to her room to continue her work. As she passes Chloe’s bedroom, she hears her say “okay, yeah, sure… you can come over.” She sighs and rolls her eyes at that. She makes sure she closes her bedroom door behind her and puts on her noise-cancelling headphones, just to be safe.

It’s around 2:30 pm when she feels her bladder is about to explode. She curses herself for not thinking of emptying her bladder before and fleetingly looks around to see if she might be able to avoid leaving her room. She really does not want to hear any sounds coming from Chloe’s room or worse, run into ‘Skip’. Reluctantly, she pulls her headphones from her head and puts them next to her mixing board. She quickly opens the bedroom door and jogs down the hall to the bathroom to relieve herself.

On her way back to her room, she hears Chloe’s bedroom door open and ‘Skip’ comes walking down the hall. He’s wearing nothing but his boxers, towel slung over his shoulder and he shoots Beca a seductive smile and a wink. Beca has never rolled her eyes louder. She stops when she sees Chloe sitting on the edge of her bed, wearing nothing but her bra and panties, t-shirt in her hands. It looks like she had been in the middle of getting dressed when something caught her attention. Beca follows Chloe’s line of sight and sighs, while she leans against the doorframe. Chloe is brought out of her stare and shoots Beca a sad smile while she pulls the shirt over her head.

“He always takes that off when he’s here.” Chloe motioned towards the bedside table. There, next to his wallet and his cellphone, lies his wedding ring. “After he’s done washing my scent from his body, he puts it back on like nothing happened.” Chloe then proceeds to put on some shorts and looks at Beca. “Tell me what you’re thinking?” Beca clears her throat.

“I mean, it’s…” Beca needs some time to think about her words. “It’s nice of him to take it off for you, I guess?” Chloe shoots Beca a surprised look.

“You don’t have to do that.”

“What?”

“Sugarcoat it. Tell me what you’re really thinking about. Please. I need to hear it.”

“Well…” Beca starts uncertain, “I think you’re right about him washing your scent of his body. That’s probably why he always wants to shower here.” Chloe nods in understanding.

“Also, you and I both know what the next couple of days or even weeks are going to be like. He’s not going to answer your calls, he will not text you back. He has probably already erased all your texts and deleted his call log. He is going to disappear from your life and go back to her.”

“He’s never going to choose me, is he?” she sighs, “Nobody ever does.”

Just as Beca wants to ask her what she means by that, they hear the bathroom door open. Chloe looks at Beca with a sad smile as Beca walks backwards to her room and closes the door. She doesn’t put on the headphones this time. She hears Chloe snap back into her bubbly self and say goodbye to ‘Skip’.

===

Can you live with that knowledge? Can you live with that thought?

Babe, you know that this is not the real deal

What do you want to be? Someone's lover or his biggest secret? Will you set yourself free? Or will you choose someone who’ll always be there when you need it?

Ask yourself, even if you’re hurt; Aren’t you worth a lot more than just the lipstick on his shirt?

I see your lipstick on his collar, babe but you are worth so much more than that I see it on his collar, babe but you are worth so much more than that

I see it on his collar, yet you are worth way more than that

maybe I could be the key because you mean so much more to me

===

Beca rubs her eyes as they’ve gotten a little watery and blows out a puff of air. She takes a moment to compose herself, putting down her guitar and taking a sip of water. She had really been pouring her heart out in this song. She’s glad she thought of recording herself on her phone when she started playing with the melody.

A quiet sniff behind her catches her attention and she jerks her head around, startled by the sudden interruption. She feels her cheeks flush as she realizes Chloe probably overheard at least part of the song. “Chlo…” she starts but can’t really think of anything else to say, panic set in.

Chloe sees tears well up in Beca’s eyes as she wipes away her own and rushes to sit down on the bed next to her. She takes Beca’s hands into her own and sees Beca is actively trying to avoid eye contact. Chloe knows exactly what that means, so she scoots closer to pull Beca into a hug. She holds on a little longer, squeezes her a bit tighter until she feels Beca relax in her arms.

When they both pull back, Chloe looks at Beca with a soft smile. “Thank you”, she speaks the words softly, not really trusting her voice to work with all the emotion she’s feeling. She wipes another tear from her face and lets out a watery laugh at Beca’s puzzled expression. “For the beautiful song, I mean. It’s about me, isn’t it?”

Beca hesitates for a moment but then decides this is her chance to put it all on the table, “ehm, yeah… it is. Chlo, I just…” she struggles to find the words to explain how she’s feeling, but as per usual, Chloe reads her like an open book.

“I know, Becs.”

She looks up at Chloe and finds she’s already looking at her. Chloe uses her thumb to wipe the last of Beca’s tears away and keeps her hands on each side of her face. As they look into each other's eyes, Beca feels the air shift around them. “Yeah?”

“mhmm, I heard you.” Chloe hopes Beca understands she means she didn’t just hear the song but understood what her best friend was trying to tell her. She can tell Beca is nervous so she decides to not drag this moment out any longer. With a quick mental prayer, she didn’t read the situation completely wrong, she closes the distance between them.

Beca sighs into the kiss. Kissing Chloe feels even better than she imagined it would. She feels Chloe smile against her lips and thinks (hopes) she might be feeling the same way. Suddenly, Beca feels like she can’t breathe and so she pulls back. Chloe looks at her a little surprised and Beca immediately wants to apologize. “I’m sorry. I… Shit, did I fuck this up already?” Chloe takes Beca's hands again and gives her a quick peck on the lips.

“Nope, don’t worry. What happened?”

“I don’t know. I’m just a little overwhelmed, I guess. I couldn’t breathe for a moment.”

Chloe smirks at her, “Did I take your breath away, babe?”

“Oh my god”, Beca laughs and she feels herself relax again.

“So…” Beca starts, “would you, maybe… want to go on a date with me sometime?”

“I’d really like that, Becs.” Chloe says with a soft smile on her face.

Chloe stands up from the bed and pulls Beca up. She doesn’t let go of Beca’s hand as they walk towards the kitchen together. As Beca heads for the fridge, Chloe leans over the counter and pulls out her phone. Beca takes two steps back and stands next to her. “What are you doing?” she curiously asks her.

“I’m texting ‘Skip’ ”, she says with a wink. Beca smiles hearing Chloe use the stupid nickname. She gives Chloe some space to compose her text and busies herself in the kitchen. “Can you come here a sec?” Chloe asks her after a moment. Beca turns around and stands next to Chloe, looking at her expectantly.

“What’s up?”

“I want you to see this,” Chloe says mysteriously. Beca raises an eyebrow and puts her chin on Chloe’s shoulder to see her phone. She sees her open the contact info for Chicago , clicks on ‘block this caller’ and then proceeds to ‘delete contact’. Chloe puts her phone down on the counter and turns to look at Beca with a sad smile on her face. “I’m really sorry about, you know… everything.” Beca hums in understanding.

“I really don’t know what I was thinking. No, honestly, I do know… The thing is, I’ve been in love with you for so long, Beca. And I didn’t think you felt the same way, so I just… I don’t know, tried to move on, I guess? I didn’t really go about it the right w…” Chloe’s ramble gets cut off by a sudden kiss and she sighs in relief.

Pulling back, she playfully bites her lip and looks at Beca. “I’m so in love with you, Beca Mitchell. It’s always been you.”

Beca pulls Chloe into a hug and holds her for a moment. When she pulls back she pecks her lips one more time and walks back to the fridge. As she pulls it open she looks back at Chloe and asks: “ice cream and beer?”

Chloe shakes her head. “How about dinner and wine?”

#bechloe #Bechloe week #Pitch Perfect #beca mitchell #chloe beale #tw: cheating

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darkestdawnhq · 3 years

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BELLATRIX BLACK is a 30 year old PUREBLOOD, a former SLYTHERIN, and an AUROR who is a DEATH EATER and uses SHE/HER pronouns. They are categorized as CODE ONE. They are currently CLOSED.

A red smile | Haphazardly thrown curses | They say love is strongest, they haven’t seen the end of your wand | An eagerness and thirst that can’t be sated | Strolling down dark alleys guided by the moonlight | A lion waiting in ambush | High pitched laughter bubbles from your mouth as the tang of blood fills the air.

HISTORY.

From a young age, Bellatrix knew her strengths did not lie in elegance and deceit, but in cruelty and wrath. The warmth and affection of her mother and sisters a distraction while the approval of her father proved to be survival. She was an eager student, and it was a surprise to many when Cygnus took interest in her upbringing. It had been a long time since someone could match her father step for step but she was determined and unafraid. Failure was no longer an option and it was with a strange relief that she slipped from her mother’s grasp into her father’s teachings. Bellatrix was not built to be a rose, pricking with thorns where you least expected it. She would instead be the viper poised to strike.

Her arrival at Hogwarts only cemented her path. Childhood friendships fell away and new connections were quickly made. Man’s world or not, being a Black meant something. She met snide remarks with sharp retorts and when witty words weren’t enough she made sure they heard her through the sting of her wand. Her ruthless nature earned their respect or their fear, whichever it was she didn’t particularly care. Bellatrix’s professors thought her a bitter bully in the beginning but nonetheless bright, and it was only as she grew older and more pointed did they see the monster in the making. By the time of her graduation plenty in the castle were happy to see her go but the monsters on the outside were eager to welcome her.

Life outside of school proved Cygnus a worthy mentor. Bellatrix settled quickly into the ranks of the Death Eaters and rose even faster, much to the chagrin of the men around her. A women’s place, they would mutter, was at home raising the children; it was to be submissive and quiet to their husband. Bellatrix had neither and seemed unlikely ever to. It was apparent the one man she would swear loyalty to was the Dark Lord. She matched his cruelty and could often be found suggesting particularly spiteful, horrible treatment for those unfortunate enough to be on her mind. His approval could be marked by the echo of her chilling laugh bouncing down the hall.

The question of Bellatrix’s sanity has become almost a joke amongst the ranks, though it would surprise no one if any of the rumors turned out to be true. The Dark Lord may have been known for Nagini but the new shadow at his feet was getting more and more notice. She was quick to lash out, harsh in both words and way, and unafraid to be violent with her hands should her wand be missing. There was something so satisfying to drawing blood with her hands and not just the cruel twist of a wand. A satisfaction in not only relying on magic, the heft of a dagger, the sound of a knife perfectly flung. Answers could be drawn out so sweetly, the shake of a body in pain, the smell of blood thick in the air, the sheen of sweat and tears on skin. Impulsive or not, Bellatrix got the desired results. She was reliable and eager and while patience did not come easy to her the promise of a delicious payoff was usually all that was needed to keep her in place.

CONNECTIONS.

RODOLPHUS LESTRANGE: Friend. Bellatrix has always had a hard time finding equals. Not in blood or status but in mind. While Bellatrix has always been close with her father and even sometimes her sisters, there's something about the oldest Lestrange boy that is like looking in a mirror. It's a thought that for the first time in her life frightens her. Beneath the manic laughter is a mind that she can talk to without any filter. To him her ‘crazy’ ideas are met with interest instead of the fanatic disregardance you receive from others. He doesn’t underestimate her, but instead sees her value.

AMELIA BONES: Ex-Childhood Friend. Bellatrix became acquainted with the Bones children at the limited occasions that they crossed paths at. During Bellatrix’ more innocent days, the two girls got along well. Amelia could even subdue Bella’s fire at times. However, all ties were seemingly cut when Bellatrix became more entranced in the dark arts just as Amelia’s sympathies towards muggleborns grew. These days you wouldn’t imagine that the two had ever been friends. Bellatrix despises the fact that they were ever friendly, so she’s taken it upon herself to be extra nasty to her, as if she needs to prove that there has been no love lost between them.

LILY POTTER: Prey. She slipped away right from her fingers. Bellatrix yearns to be the one who finds her. She’s already promised the Dark Lord that she would and you don’t just break promises to the most powerful of wizards. The face of the redheaded witch fills your waking moments and much of your dreams. You already know what you’ll do to her when you find her. You may not be allowed to end her life right away, but there are certainly other ways you can amuse yourself in the meantime.

EMMELINE VANCE: Toy. She had always had a smart mouth, and not in the good way. Emmeline had the misfortune of trying to stand up for others, putting herself in Bellatrix’s way one too many times until the latter began to recognize her and that obnoxious tilt of her chin. As time went on, Bellatrix began to enjoy their little games. It was always a bit more fun when a mouse was harder to catch, harder to break. Emmeline seemed to think of it as a sort of rivalry through school, unaware that Bellatrix had made it clear she’d be keeping this mouse for herself, and she would be the one to snap her when the time came.

Currently portrayed by ASTRID BERGÈ-FRISBEY

#Bellatrix black #marauders era rpg #Astrid Berges Frisbey fc #bellatrix lestrange #harry potter roleplay #Astrid Berges Frisbey #female #pureblood #slytherin #death eater #code one #closed

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solesurvivorpaigeargot · 3 years

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I wanna hearing about Paige's family with #5.

Super detailed questions about your OCs

5. Do they have any siblings? What’s their names? What is their relationship with them? Has their relationship changed since they were kids to adults?

HOO BOI my friend, you have volunteered for an infodump. I’m putting in a read-more cut to prevent dash clogging.

Paige was the second-to-last child out of five, with three brothers and one sister.

Isabelle [Bella, Belle] -- the eldest, Paige’s sister and seven years older than her. Basically ended up as built-in babysitter/second mom. Paige calls her Izzy and is the only one who is allowed to call her that [anyone else will get whacked, including Bella’s husband]. Their relationship when Paige was a kiddo was pretty strained; Paige grew up running wild with her brothers whilst Isabelle, the eldest daughter of a very conservative and publicly religious family, was constantly being watched and judged on how responsible she was and how well she was growing into a ‘lady’ as she was expected to do. Meanwhile Paige, as the younger daughter and surrounded by boys, was excused for more wild behavior and often given a flavor of the ‘boys will be boys’ pass when she got into trouble until she hit puberty and suddenly got whacked in the face with more feminine expectations.

Somewhere in Paige’s early teens, she and Izzy had it out in an honest to goodness, full-on fight, wherein Izzy accused Paige of being a spoiled brat who was incapable of understanding just how hard it was to hold up under everyone’s expectations, and Paige threw it right back by calling those expectations petty bullshit and questioning why Izzy didn’t just toss it all out if she hated being a lady. The two grew apart after that, maintaining some sisterly affection but mostly not getting in each other’s way. Izzy taught Paige how to look after her hair when she started growing it out, taught her how to do make-up, gave her advice on clothes and shoes for interviews, that sort of thing.

They both ultimately stayed at arm’s length until Shaun was born, at which point Izzy had reached out to try and reconnect. She and her husband had been living in Pennsylvania when the bombs fell. Izzy’s family was well off enough that they might have gotten a spot in a vault, but Paige hadn’t been keeping up with them enough to know whether or not they’d registered...

Ethan -- eldest brother, five years older than Paige, she always looked up to him as her cool older brother. He and his friends had a garage band when he was a teen, but he gave it up when their parents put pressure on him to start figuring out something ‘real’ to do with his life. Music became a beloved hobby, noodling about on his guitar when he could get away with it, but never when their father was home, as he’d threatened to smash it on more than one occasion.

Like Isabelle, Ethan was often leaned upon to be more adult than he actually was, looking after his younger siblings but with a touch more wiggle room. Where Isabelle was very much considered the one with full parental authority, and thus expected to enforce the rules to their fullest extent, Ethan allowed Paige, Daniel, and Zach to get away with the occasional mischief with a wink and a smile that assured them he didn’t see anything.

Besides music, Ethan also had a gift of gab that made him excellent at talking himself and his siblings out of any trouble-- something he and Paige shared, and the two would get into deep arguments over tiny things as a kind of sport. At school a teacher encouraged him towards debate club and theater, and he participated in multiple school productions before, again, their parents reminded him that artistic careers were more fantasy than anything to build your life around. Instead, they pushed him towards law, which he fucking hated but attempted to make them happy.

He dropped out after his first year of college, arriving at home with black dyed hair, two tattoos and three piercings he hadn’t had when he left for school, giving their parents the finger, and all but disappearing when Paige was fourteen. Nineteen years old, he was technically an adult, his their parents couldn’t drag him back. Dad doesn’t talk about Ethan, and mom would cry when he was mentioned. Paige worried he died chasing a dream for the longest time, until she left for law school and started getting postcards-- turned out Ethan was still in contact with Izzy, and had embraced his musical career [and all the hardship that came with it] with everything he had.

Last Paige heard, Ethan had been somewhere on the western seaboard when the bombs fell. She finds it unlikely that he, or any descendants of him, survived... though, if he went ghoul, she wouldn’t be surprised if he was still living the traveling musician life two centuries later.

Daniel [Danny] -- middle brother, two years older than Paige, and oldest of the trouble trio. Daniel, Paige, and Zach were always the three making messes together as young kids, running wild, exploring the backwoods on the family farm, finding fun and odd ways to get chores done, and generally being kids. Danny was the tough one out of the three of them; easily the biggest out of all of Paige’s siblings and the one who got in people’s faces if anyone was messing with anyone else in the family.

Danny and Paige frequently butted heads; they were both stubborn as hell and outspoken, and before Paige was expected to be more lady-like it very regularly came to blows. It’s thanks to Danny that Paige knew how to squirm out of most holds by the time she was an adult, even if the other person was larger than her, and exactly which soft spots to shove her elbows or heels into. This tendency towards brawling changed as they got older, however, as Danny realized that Paige was going to be a petite woman her entire life and went out of his way to teach her some honest-to-goodness self-defense tactics after hearing a few of his friends say a few... off color things about his sister.

Danny stayed in Minnesota to attend a trade school, finding work in the automation industry; installing and maintaining machines used for mass manufacture. He married almost immediately out of highschool, and the timing of his first kid suggests that his wife was pregnant before the wedding. Paige kept in contact with him, and Danny actually made the trip out to visit her when Shaun was born. While Paige suspects that he’s dead, unless of course he ended up ghoul, she has occasionally speculated that if Danny and his family survived the initial bombing? He had practical skills that might have seen him through long enough to have descendants that survived to the present day. Zachariah [Zach] -- the youngest, a year younger than Paige and her childhood partner in crime. Zach, like Paige, was kinda on the small side. Unlike Paige, Zach was also intensely shy in a family full of outspoken, opinionated, stubborn mules. It wasn’t that he didn’t have opinions, mind-- rather that he had a lot of trouble putting the words together to express them. Zach would often stick with Paige like her second shadow, because Paige was very good at picking up on what he meant to say to others and saying it for him, or re-iterating when he spoke too quietly and he got ignored.

That said, Zach was often the mastermind behind what he, Paige, and Danny got up to as little kids-- quiet, but quick witted, and a grade-A prankster.

As adolescents, Zach and Paige were occasionally confused for being twins despite there being a year difference between them. Their faces were strikingly similar, with Zach having deeply brown eyes rather than Paige’s hazel being the main difference. Sometimes their mischief would play into this, and Paige was allowed to get away with many things as a young teen simply by virtue of being mistaken for her brother.

When Ethan ran out on the family, Zach was probably the one most deeply effected by it, and Paige did everything she could to support him at the time. They both looked up to Ethan, but Zach even more so because he was also musically inclined and had been learning the drums from one of Ethan’s friends. Sometimes the band even let him do some kind of back-up percussion when they were practicing before their father shut it down, and it was during those practice sessions that Zach tended to really light up. When Ethan left? Zach fell deeply into depression for a long time, and Paige felt like it was her responsibility to hold him up lest she lose another brother.

Despite being the often-overlooked child in the family, Zach had damn near perfect grades... and yet, their parents appeared to lack specific expectation for him. Rather, the had a vague assurance that he’d simply do well at whatever he decided to do, and Zach confided in Paige that he had no idea what to do with his scholastic success-- that it didn’t feel real to him. That he wasn’t a person, but rather a mass of goo that could just be poured into whatever shape worked best for the people around him.

Paige still regrets not having any good advice for him. Last she heard, he’d gone to school to pursue an engineering degree, like their father; imitating a ready example. She suspects that he might have gone after something musical, if not for what happened with Ethan, and that his choice paralysis was a form of avoiding even thinking about that kind of rebellion. Like Danny, Zach’s schooling didn’t take him far from the family home, and he still lived in Minnesota at the time of the bombing. He was, at the time, unmarried. Given time to think further on it, Paige actually suspects that Zach might have been some form of closeted due to still being close to the family and their parents intense involvement with the church. Thinking about that always makes her wish she’d been there for him more, that she’d been smarter and figured out what he’d been dealing with and helped him handle it better.

Like everyone else, Paige is pretty sure Zach is dead... and he’s probably the one she’s mourns the most, because it feels like he never really got to live in the first place.

#Paige #Paige Argot #about Paige #Zach #Izzy #Danny #Ethan #nukaworld-nora #Ask The Author

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imaginesbymk · 4 years

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PINK + WHITE.

—chapter eight ; the flapper girl.

summary: teresa’s permanent resignation from the peaky blinders leads her to a whole new chapter of working in an art museum. but little did she know her best life would be butchered some time later when her former lover tommy shelby gives her no choice but to return to the peaky blinders after they make new enemies, with the leader, of all people, being the man teresa fell in love with one night after a wedding reception back in post world war; luca changretta.

pairing: luca changretta x OC x tommy shelby

tags in this chapter: swearing, drinking

[ chapter index / meet my oc / wattpad link ]

“TERESA, would it kill ya to quit staring at me? I'm tryna do my work here." He fumbles for the ballpoint pen that fell out of his shaky hand. Even when his eyes were down, he still felt hers following his every move when he picked up certain sheets, watching his lips curl when he read a sentence on a report from his father, or just overthinking if Teresa was judging his appearance. There's nothing on my chin, is there? Food in my teeth?

"Am I making the Italian mafioso Luca Changretta nervous?" Teresa leaned over the desk to trail her finger down Luca's chest where she could tease him by gripping the line of his blazer and rip the buttons off. "The same Italian mafioso that got some amateur in Los Angeles to beg on his knees?"

Luca didn't look up from his work. "He was trying to be sneaky and spent nearly a hundred dollars worth of gin for his mistress."

"Is that something you would do? Spend every dime to make his mistress happy?"

"I spend money on myself, to make myself look and feel good, some for business and for special occasions. But I also save," Luca glanced at her, mostly at her cleavage. "And you're not my mistress. I'm not even married. My mother wonders when I'm ever gonna tie the knot with a woman back home." Luca sighs and takes a break, resting his head for a moment. He grunts, rubbing his temple.

"Want me to take over?"

"No," Luca pulls her closer, using his other hand to set his folders to the side so carelessly. "Come here."

She obeys, allowing him to lift her up and carry her on top of his desk.

Luca kisses her. "Ciao, bella," he whispers to her. He kept going, making his way into the sensitive spot of Teresa's neck, his lips pressing against it so gently.

Teresa chuckles, feeling his hand run up her dress. "Who are you? Dracula?"

"Hm?"

"I mean you sort of look like him. You're about to drain the blood out of my neck, so you need me to be in the right position."

"Dracula draining the blood from a flapper girl, eh?"

The sounds of knocking on the heavy wooden doors made Teresa hop off the desk, thinking it was one of his men, or even his mother. She wouldn't contain the embarrassment of being affectionate and intimate with someone's son. It could possibly be the maids, but not the same ones from the hotel Luca stayed at. He fancied staying at a manor his father bought somewhere up north, his family members occupying the other rooms just a few ways down, but just spacious enough for everyone, even for a Welsh named Teresa.

Luca clears his throat and turns the knob. The servers come in with the trolley cart of a decanter and two glasses. "You ordered whiskey, Sir?"

The Italian watched the servers roll in the bar cart and nodded at him before shutting the door on their way out. "You like whiskey, amore?"

"Love all kinds of poison." Teresa walked over to the cart, picking up the vessel. She lifts the glass lid and brings it to her nose to let in a good smell. "Rich, like you."

Luca scoffs. "Yeah, if you drink out of that decanter, you'll become a part of us."

Teresa scoffs back.

"What? Teresa, becoming a soldier was like striking gold."

"I'd rather stay here and sit in the gardens, or walk around this palace wearing only my stockings."

Luca shrugged, imagining the erotic sight. It's happened before and he experienced it first-hand. "I bought you those stockings," he comments, staring down at her legs.

"I'll become a part of your family when the cows come home."

"Oh, come on! Don't gimme that. My family likes you."

"Seriously?" Teresa makes a face at him, and he responds by rolling his eyes.

"Okay, maybe it'll take some time."

"Your mother called me a brazen hussy the other day. Like what you said, she wants you to marry a woman in New York. She's mentioned a name, the woman is close with your family and she often visits at dinner parties? She came to the wedding." Teresa smirks. "She's Italian."

Luca grunts, knowing exactly who she was talking about. "Viviana."

"Signora Viviana must be the whole package."

"We consider her family, but I can't imagine marrying her," Luca shook his head, pouring himself a glass of the whiskey. "Matteo would be crushed."

Teresa was already ahead of him, nearly downing the whiskey, ready for a refill. She brings the glass to her lips, about to take in the last sip. "Do you want to get married?"

"Someday."

Teresa nodded.

"When we were at my cousin's wedding, as best man, I watched two people who were so in love exchange vows. I really felt the love my cousin had for his wife that day. And I know one day that'll happen to me. I'll marry the most beautiful bride who is my whole world. I'll be able to wake up next to her and remember how she likes her coffee in the morning."

"She'll be the luckiest wife."

"I'll treat her like a diamond."

"She'll come around. I'm sure she's somewhere out there, searching for you. Hell, she could be right on your bloody nose," Teresa jokes.

Well to be fair, the woman named Viviana was right on Luca's nose for quite some time. She shared her beautiful smile with the family, and Luca did admire her, respected her when she paid her contribution to the family. She could be waiting for him to return home as of right now, and throw her arms around the Italian so they could spend a night drinking champagne on a balcony.

Yet, Luca didn't set his lust and attention on Viviana. Not even at his cousin's wedding. Luca was picky when it came to his preferences with people, that's part of being a Changretta. But there was someone he wished his mother showed at least some respect to, a woman whose eyes light up like stars whenever Luca says her name...

Yeah, he answered to himself, watching Teresa refill her glass from the whiskey decanter. Maybe I already found her.

TERESA ran her fingers through her head, thinking about what she told Finn the other day that made the young boy rush back to Small Heath before she could settle down for her lunch break, taking her words with him. The blinds that gaped in between to let in the last bit of afternoon sun into the dark room of her office gave out the blonde locks she styled for yet another casual day. Simply walking down each corridor and back to the departments was a way to wastefully tear down the strands to her cheeks as she kept her head down so carelessly.

See what happens when you open your mouth, 'Resa? She sighs, knowing that revealing her past love to be the man that's after the Peaky Blinders would either cause high tides between her and them, or maybe even her and Luca himself, or maybe more pestering phone calls from Tommy.

Luca. He's a malicious man, she couldn't deny that. He would get his way without an issue, and if someone had to object about that, if someone were to challenge a man with such high power, would they live to tell about it? She would hate having the idea of handing the one thing she has all to herself to a man who would gladly have paintings hung in his gigantic home. The Changretta family distributes gin in and out of America with the exception of handling Alfie Solomons' rum, anyways, so why would he want to claim an art gallery all the way in Wales?

The thought of Luca threatening to put a bullet through hers or any one of her loved ones' heads sent a chill in her body. Would Luca ever do that to her? Would the Italian ever have the thought of harming someone he had a past relationship with? Would he regret it?

What was even left of Teresa's loved ones, anyhow? She wasn't as close to her team to consider them family. Perhaps one time she scolded the manager for not realizing one of their employees smoked a cigar when the gallery has a strict no smoking indoors rule, but she couldn't live with the thought of having them indirectly killed by the New York mafia. Come to think of it, she didn't have anyone, which is just as disheartening as having someone to protect. Maybe if she never got her brother killed that day—

She walks out after setting her teacup in the tiny space left open on her desk. Normally she would hear distant chatters from the tour guides speaking to the guests, or just guests speaking among each other, talking about whatever piece they lay their gaze on. But she frowned when she noticed how empty the gallery was, except for maybe five guests. Given that it's still hours in the early afternoon. Why wasn't it busy?

Teresa approaches two guides, asking the question that swirled her head. "Where is everyone?"

"I believe the gallery is in need of an upgrade." One of the tour guides spoke out, a bit of nervousness in their voice to speak up on feedback to the owner.

"Was deco not enough?"

"Most of it has already been seen, Miss."

The Welsh shook her head. "What does that even mean? The people wanted to see deco, we gave them deco. I provided rum to the guests on the grand re-opening, I made sure this place is clean and shiny from every inch of every corner. How could this place already be dead? At this hour?"

The tour guides slightly shook their heads, shrugging.

Teresa sighs. "Fine. Have any of you seen Mason?"

Mason Miller was hired on the spot when his well pressed suit and love for Rococo struck admiration for Teresa. She saw her younger self in him, almost like she was looking in the mirror of the past. Someone at a young age so passionate, she needed him as extra help.

"With all due respect, Miss Griffith, there hasn't been enough—I would say razzle-dazzle, to the place. We have a lot to catch up on, or guests will yawn and find themselves out the exit."

"Mason, this is a gallery, not a circus." Teresa scratches her neck. "It's been days since the opening. Our blood, sweat and tears shouldn't be a one time thing and dropped down to rubbish."

Her assistant shrugs. "Well, these days people don't wake up and think about visiting a gallery, y'know? You can find art deco everywhere you go; fancy dinner parties, manors. It inspires what we wear on occasions."

Teresa stares at her desk. "If Luca Changretta were to ever own this gallery, would he fix this problem? Make the place go fucking bankrupt?"

"I'm sorry, w-who? Luca Ch..." Mason asks, skimming through his clipboard of names he might have missed pinpointing and scheduling a meeting with.

Teresa looked at her assistant, realizing she spoke out her thoughts. "It's nothing. You're dismissed."

"Thank you." He smiles to himself as he bid an exit out of her office for Teresa to be back with her thoughts. Her jaw clenched. I will not let my team down, and I will not give my gallery to a mafioso.

"Actually, Mason?" the young lad stepped foot inside again, peering in with his full attention on one odd request. "Luca Changretta, that's his name. I'd like for you to find where he is at the moment and set up an invitation via letter. Let me know when he responds at your earliest convenience."

"Miss...?"

She didn't stop rationalizing it. She even settled for it faster than deciding not to ally with the Peaky Blinders. Mason Miller stared awkwardly at his boss as she set her focus back on her notepad laid on her desk. "I'd like to meet up with Luca Changretta."

+ enjoy my scene edit above! my peaky blinders editing account is @/fcknshelbys via ig.

#pink+white #tommy shelby #luca changretta #luca changretta x oc #luca changretta fanfiction #luca changretta fanfic #peaky blinders fanfictio #peaky blinders #tommy shelby x oc

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h2ojustaddmako · 4 years

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Headcanon: How Mermaid Powers Work - from a Scientific Point of View

Sup homies. I’m back with a long-awaited post - the science being the entirety of the mermaid power set. Recently I’ve been more into molecular science and physics than I'd ever thought I’d like to, so I’ve gathered around some information that I, personally found pretty interesting.

So what forces could make water move around like that? Or change into ice? Or generate a spontaneous wave? The show provides a lot of information about the elemental powers and we get some of the most solid evidence for it. For instance, the show establishes early on that celestial forces have a huge impact on a mermaid's powers, especially since the moon pool itself is made of a moon rock, that arrived to Earth by a comet, and we learned that the girls' powers are strongest during a full moon. The mermaids draw their power from the moon, and seem to be stronger at night. Their powers were magnified during the seventh moon cycle at the beginning of season 2, and every full moon they seem to have stronger powers (for instance, Rikki could create fire in season 1, despite only being able to heat water during that time).

We also learned that eclipses have the opposite effect on mermaids, as they completely lose their abilities when the moon is eclipsed. Just this information alone gives us key Intel about the underlying science behind mer-powers. A lunar eclipse is gonna block a mermaid's powers entirely. Now the moon doesn't emit any sort of solar radiation per se, but it does exert another major force on Earth – gravity. Gravity from the moon is in fact what makes all water on Earth bend in the first place - in the form of ocean tides and currents - all caused by water sloshing around on the face of the Earth. It's literally bent outward by the gravity of the Moon on one side and then sloshes back on the far side of the Earth, effectively creating these bulges on either side of the world where the high tides are, and the water in the middle is being sucked out, creating low tides. And the show absolutely knows that this connection exists and it does a really good job of reflecting it as a basic property of mermaid powers. From the earliest episodes of Mako Mermaids, the student mermaids are creating tides - it's literally the first power move that they are being taught. They're using the moon's tides to create waves and they use this basic skill a lot to move boats, for example - all starting with the fundamental idea that tides are controlled by the gravity of the Moon.

So, that's cool and all, but I hear you asking what about the more complex stuff, like Charlotte literally making water snakes?

Well as good of a start as gravity is, we know that things are gonna start to get a bit more complicated as we dip our toes into advanced mermaids powers. From the mid-air drinking to the good ol' water snakes, this level of precision makes my gravity explanation feel a bit laughable, so scientifically there has to be something else layered on here that's gonna allow mermaids to control water more directly. The good news is that it's theoretically possible to control water not with hand waving or various CGI shots but with the powers of electromagnetism.

Now most of us are generally aware that water is electrically conductive but not necessarily for the reasons that we expect. It's not the water itself that's electrically conductive, it's actually the salts that exist within the water. Regardless though, it's the reason that you don't go swimming in a lightning storm or do your hair in a bathtub. It's because the salts within the water are super conductive and lightning, or electricity flowing from your wall socket, loves to run through it, and as a result, will also run through you if you happen to be swimming in it. But electrically charging water isn't gonna do anything to make it move, it just makes it more dangerous.

That's why mermaids also requires the magnet part of electromagnetism. If someone were to ask you if water's magnetic, most of us would say no, right? It doesn't contain any sort of iron or metal, and doesn't really seem to do anything when I wave my magnet at it. That's not entirely correct; the truth is that water is actually diamagnetic, meaning that any magnetic field, whether positively or negatively charged, is actually gonna repel water. So if you put a magnet near some water you'll see the water is being very slightly bent by the magnet, pushed away from the magnetic field. This is quite literally hydrokinesis at a microscopic level, where the magnetic fields are pushing the atoms of the water away. So theoretically speaking a mermaid could do the exact same thing by creating electromagnetic fields that are strong enough they can actually push the water away from herself, creating all the cool awesome moves that they do in the show.

Now if you're a physicist this explanation is gonna be pretty simplistic, but for our purposes it actually explains a lot of things that we see play out in the series. Mermaids rarely touch the water as they're manipulating it, which makes sense because the water is always being repelled from them, and the intricate curves and shapes that you see them making are coming from the electrical field that's applied to the water. Water molecules generally have a small negative electric charge, so by creating small electrical fields that are also negative (because like charges repel each other) mermaids could theoretically redirect the flow of the water midstream, creating swirls, shapes, bubbles, whatever they wanted, which is exactly what we see them creating with more and more precision over the course of the show.

Cleo's earlier moves focus on establishing an electromagnetic field for simple shapes, but once she learned to control the fields with greater precision, it's only a matter of time before she's water-spearing it up with her best of snakes and what not. We also know that we're specifically dealing with electromagnetism and not simply magnetism because of Rikki. Just like Cleo, Rikki is also a master of manipulation of electricity and charged particles.

In season three, we see Rikki creating lighting on several occasions, and it's all based on the principle of generating an electrical current and directing it through the air. In theory, this same principle actually explains some of the weirder mermaid powers from Mako, including seaweed growing, or Zac's powers over Carly's vocal chords. All of which can be manipulated using electromagnetic fields. Create a strong enough field and you can bend a plant by bending all the water inside of it. By the same token you can bend a person if all the water in their organs and bloodstream are being pulled in one direction.

So electromagnetic manipulation explains a lot of mermaid powers, but it still leaves us with one big missing piece that I can't just make melt away: Emma and Bella's powers. These two's powers both involve significant phase shifting between water's states of matter, particularly liquid and solid. Ice or jello to water and vice versa. Emma's frost, the snow, even the rocks that Bella used to cross the stream - they are all valid techniques of mermaids not purely explained by electromagnetic fields. Or are they?

The techniques that we've covered involve manipulating the motion of large groups of water molecules – puddles, lakes, ocean waves - but what if we wanted to manipulate motion on a smaller scale? In chemistry and physics, you learn about thermodynamics, and you find out that on the molecular scale the idea of temperature is really a measure of motion. Molecules are moving fast? Well, we perceive that as hot. That bowl of soup you got there is no different chemically whether it's hot or cold - it's just that the molecules in your hot soup are moving a lot and in your cold soup they're just kind of sluggish. The same goes with ice and water. Liquid water molecules move and flow and wiggle and have a good ol' water molecule time, but ice molecules are locked together in a crystal lattice structure, just like you see in snowflakes. There's still a tiny bit of movement there, like, they can kinda wiggle around in their framework, but the motion is much less than in liquid or gas phase. We know that mermaids have the ability to turn water from liquid to ice, so what are they really doing in those instances?

Well, on a super small scale, they're manipulating water molecules to slow their individual movements, or, in physics terms, their kinetic energy. As they lose movement, they lose energy, becoming colder. If the mermaid is able to slow down the individual molecules enough they'll start to lock together into that crystal structure we call ice. The key is the use of those same electromagnetic fields to slow the movement of individual molecules to lock them in place. The same applies to viscosity. In everyday terms, viscosity is "thickness" or "internal friction" of a liquid. Thus, water is "thin", having a lower viscosity, while honey is "thick", having a higher viscosity. Put simply, the less viscous the fluid is, the greater its ease of movement (fluidity). By manipulating the water molecules and moving them closer, a mermaid like Bella could alter the viscosity of the water around her.

So basically, mermaids are just big ass magnets swimming the ocean. Which is a wonderful thing to think about in four in the morning instead of sleeping as I'm doing right now. Gn.

#Headcanon #h2o just add water #mako mermaids #mako: island of secrets #theory

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yourknightingale · 5 years

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truth or truth: car edition

Probably my only contribution to this Bechloe week. Sorry for late post! I didn’t know I could make it. This is for the prompt TRUTH OR DARE.

Summary: Beca and Chloe take a short road trip. Car conversations can get a little out of hand sometimes.

———

An hour and a half into a 4-hour road trip, Beca had made herself comfortable and ready to nap in the passenger seat. A soft but weighty object flew to her shoulders with a pound.

“Beale! What?”, she jolted awake and turned to the driver side. She clutched the neck pillow that landed on her lap. “You know they fill this with beans, right? Dried beans! That kinda hurt, dude. What was that for?”

Chloe, who was firmly looking ahead and concentrating on the drive, replied with a scoff. “That’s not fair, Beca. You’re not allowed to sleep. It’s only 4 hours and you have to stay awake to keep ME awake. Passenger seat duty.”

Beca mumbled under her breath.

“Okay, if you keep doing that, I’ll have to pull over at the next gas station and we’ll switch. You drive. I sleep.”

The brunette straightened up right away. Shuffling a little in her seat so she can settle, she said, “Your driving skills are better than mine and you know it.”

Chloe lifted her right arm and made a thumb-up gesture without taking her eyes off the road to which the other girl just shook her head. Beca pulled out her phone from her pocket and plugged it in the car radio. It didn’t take long for the Corolla to be filled with music with just two people on their way to a wedding venue.

After 5 songs, Beca started skipping and reshuffling her playlist. “Sorry, Chlo. I’m not feeling my music today. You still good?”

“Yeah. Just actually getting bored. Highways aren’t really fun.”

“How about I turn this down and I just talk?”

Chloe raises an eyebrow. “You sure? I know I said I don’t want you to sleep but I don’t know about talking Beca.”

“Shut up, I ain’t telling you deep stuff. I don’t know. Car games?”

“Like what exactly? All of my senses are focused on this road.”

“I Spy?”

“I don’t want so much of a distraction while driving.”

“Guess what kind of fruit I am?”

“Really? No. Try again.”

“Truth or dare?”

“Unless you’re gonna dare me to switch driving, probably not a good idea. Truth or truth, yes.”

“Alright, truth or truth then. So it’s like truth or dare. Except it’s all truth. And you have to answer, no passes.”

“Cool, I guess. It’s like having a normal conversation.” She teased.

“That’s what you’d think. I go first. Truth: Why am I here with you?”

“Wow, starting off really strong there, Becs. First of all, you’re still a Bella. And this is a Bella wedding. Aren’t you excited to see Cynthia Rose? And her partner? And weddings? And free food.”

“Are those questions your truth?”

“No. Here’s truth for you: Are you still scared of showing you care for your friends even though this occasion can serve as our mini Bella reunion one long year after our graduation?”

Beca rolled her eyes. “No, it’s just that it’s in the middle of nowhere. And I’m too tired to drive. And that’s why you’re doing this which I appreciate, but it seemed a little unnecessary. My butt hurts.” She paused. “Beale, truth. Are you fond of weddings?”

“Yeah. What’s not to like? Friends are there. Free food. Love is everywhere. Your turn, Beca, truth. Why aren’t you?”

“Well, it’s not like I’m not fond of them. Weddings are okay. It’s just that it’s..” The brunette trailed off.

“You know it’s probably gonna be legalized in all states this year. We don’t have to drive 4 hours to be free.”

“You’re one hopeful beacon, Beale. I don’t know where you get it from. Truth: If the states don’t legalize anything this year, would you drive 4 hours to get married?”

“Oh, Beca. Is this your way of asking if I’m gay?” The brunette flushed red and stutters inaudibly. Chloe just laughed. “In 4 years that we’ve known each other, you can’t tell?”

“It’s not like you’re very obvious. I haven’t seen you with anyone since Turd from when we first met.”

“Tom.”

“Whatever.”

“And to answer your question, yes, I’ll probably have to drive to where it is legal. Canada, maybe.”

“Dude, you’d go that far?”

“Why, truth Beca, wouldn’t you?”

A brief hesitation from Beca gave this back-and-forth a short halt. “Maybe. I would.”

“Cool. Maybe we should go.” Chloe turned her head and gave Beca a wink.

“Dude!” The brunette gently pushed Chloe’s cheek so she’d face forward. “Look at where you’re driving!”

Chloe just smiled and teased again, saying, “For all I know, you’re just hiding a blush.”

“Dude, stop.” Beca didn’t want her to know she was right.

Half an hour of silence went by. Near empty roads still dominated their trip. Beca tried reshuffling her music, but decidedly turned the volume low after a while.

“Chlo,” Out of nowhere, she started, “can we pull over?”

“Do you need to go? There’s a gas station in about 3 minutes.”

“Not that. I just need you to not be driving while I say this. Beale, truth, do you think you can l-“

“Hold that thought, Beca Mitchell.” Chloe aggressively gassed it and sped up, they reached the station a minute and 15 seconds early. The car even made a squeaky sound as it stopped to park. Beca was sure she saw the back tires smoke.

Chloe unbuckled herself and turned to the passenger seat. “You were saying?”

Suddenly feeling indecisive, Beca tried to hold back what she was about to confess. “Uhm, I was gonna say, truth: Do you think you can stop for a bathroom break?”

“Mitchell, I swear that’s not what you were gonna say.” Chloe held Beca’s gaze until the other girl looked down on her phone. “Fine, no more truths. Dare. I pick dare.”

“Wait, we’re still playing?”

“Yes. Beca Mitchell, I dare you to ask what you were gonna ask.”

Beca furrowed her brows in slight confusion. “I don’t think you can change the rules.”

“I’m parked now.”

“Chlo, I think it’s best for both of us if I don’t.”

“Just continue, Becs. Do you think I can what?”

Beca sighed in defeat. In a low hushed voice, she uttered, “Do you think you can like me..back.. if I say I like you?”

“What do you mean? I already like you. Is that your truth? Cuz that makes it my turn now.”

“Chloe, I’m not playing anymore.”

“I say dare. I dare you.”

“Chloe, no. You’re misunderstanding me.”

“I dare you to love me.”

It was quiet for a few seconds. Beca could barely look at Chloe and she could tell that the redhead hadn’t looked away from her yet.

“I need some air.” She didn’t wait for a reply. Beca just opened the door and started walking towards the convenience store. Before she could go too far, she heard her name.

“Beca, wait.”

When she looked back, she could see Chloe half-sprinting towards her. “I didn’t mean to scare you with that. I meant it though. I guess I just wanted you to not just like me. I’ve been into you since day one, did you know that? I felt the rush when you asked me if I can ever like you back.”

Beca laughed a little. “Sorry, worst timing for a laugh ever. I just…” she started laughing a bit more, Chloe even joined her. “Did you really just dare me to love you?”

Chloe, in pure happy disbelief, replied, “You can be a little clueless sometimes.” She took a step closer to Beca and leaned in to give her forehead a little kiss. “Let’s get back in the car. We still have almost an hour to drive.”

Beca’s heart raced and with the adrenaline pumping (brought about by their conversation, absurd dare, and a tiny gesture of affection), she volunteered to drive the rest of the way. In one condition. That Chloe didn’t sleep and should talk to her about the possibility of their new relationship.

#bechloe #beca mitchell #pitch perfect #chloe beale #bechloe week 2019

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ververa · 5 years

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"You are enough"

CHAPTER 11

Ronnie had always been an artistic soul. She had never had too many friends and hadn’t wanted to change it. She wasn’t the same type as her mother – who would socialise with everyone whenever the occasion arose. Ronnie was just Ronnie – she preferred such a way of living since the very beginning. But it all was connected with her childhood. She was brought up mostly by her grandmother. And Joanne, as an overprotective granny, didn’t leave her too much space for exploring the world – as kids usually do. In the woman’s eyes she was always a little and way too fragile thing that may get sick or hurt herself every time she left the house. Basically, in granny’s confidence everything from the outside could kill her. Joanne preferred to keep her preoccupied with something different, that let them stay inside, and that thing were books. A whole lot of literature – fairy tales, short stories, comic books. It was as if she were living in a completely different reality.

So, when she finally broke free it was a bit hard to accustom. She was like the odd one out. And her new school was a kind of reality check and a real challenge. Being a good and liked by every teacher student was one thing, but having a mother – that demands being the best in everything was the other. Ballet class was never Ronnie’s dream, but for Caroline it was a way to made her own dreams and ambitions to come true. It was okay for Ronnie to do what her mother wanted until things got complicated. And when they did the girl finally understood what a pain in the ass her mother was. She had nobody who could help her when she broke down. She was dealing with her own demons and post-traumatic stress disorder on her own, because for Caroline it was her who was the problem. She was carrying on for so long, that when she didn’t have to do it all – alone any more – it was really hard to stop. It was as if she had built walls around herself. And nobody tried to get in to her shell, until she met Ellie.

Caroline was that type of mother, who noticed her daughter only when she succeeded in something. But even then the woman wasn’t really there for Ronnie, but for her success. She was always boasting herself – claiming it was all thanks to her. But with Ellie it was different. The psychiatrist was with her in, probably, the worst moments. When she was suffering from major depression and broke down – Staple was there ready to help. When she made the worst of possible decisions and cut her veins – it was Ellie who pulled her out of the bath and blocked the bleeding. The psychiatrist not only saved her, but also took care of her further treatment. She didn’t let them send her to a madhouse far away – in the middle of nowhere. She took care of Ronnie n her own. And she cured her of depression, eating disorders and low self-esteem. But despite being the best psychiatrist and the greatest of possible remedies Staple couldn’t cure her from insecurities and sensitivity to criticism.

But she was a painter. Criticism was a part of her profession and she was taking it pretty well. But after painting for almost half of her life and exhibiting for 3 she was done. Ronnie felt as if she had nothing more to offer. She simply didn’t have new ideas and all her old works were already seen by everyone. It wasn’t the first time she had a block, but it lasted longer than before and Ronnie was almost sure it’s a permanent state. It felt as if she had run out of everything that was in her head previously. Though the worst was yet to come.

____________________________

Ellie was abroad when the girl decide to end her adventure with painting – at least for some time. She went to meet with her agents, even though she wasn't really convinced to it.

"You what?!" a slim blonde – Bella yelled

"I'm not going to paint"

"And why is that?" the woman rolled her eyes not taking it seriously at allowing

"I don't have anything to offer any more"

"Ronnie" a tall, black man began "You should think about it"

"I did. If I haven't thought about it I wouldn't be here. This is the end"

"Ronney. Little girl, it's not the first time you're facing such kind of block"

"Jason is right. You should go somewhere. Rest, relax. And inspiration will come, as always"

"It won't" Ronnie shook her head "I know you don't understand. And I don't expect you to do so. My works were filled with grief, anger and fear. But I don't have it inside me any more. The old Ronnie is gone. I evolved and there's nothing more that I can paint"

"Is it because of Ellie?" Bella asked

"What? No"

"In my opinion it is"

"Leave her alone. She has nothing to do with it. It's my decision"

"You do not make decisions, little girl"

"Don't call me that. I'm not a kid any more"

"If you weren't a kid you would know that it's not a decision that you can make just like that. Did you even think what consequences it may carry?"

"And if you're not so vain you would know that there's no use in continuing it. Think about the last exhibition. It was a flop, because I have nothing more to show. You wanted me to dye my hair, so I could draw attention. I did. Now, my hair is fucking pink, but it changed nothing. People do not enjoy my art any more. Get over it. I'm done painting. A real artist ought to know when it's time to get off the stage. And this is that very moment. I gave people everything that I could, but I run out of ideas and I'm not going to push myself, because you want to earn money"

"And what are you going to do?"

"I..." she hesitated

"You have nothing! Only paintings. If you leave, you're over" Bella stated "You're nobody without them!" her voice was full of venom At that Ronnie stood up. She smiled at the woman and then at Jason, who seemed to be afraid to interfere in their little argument. "You're right. I'm nobody without paintings. So, it's probably the high time I changed it" she said and left the office ____________ Ellie had been working on improving Ronnie's confidence since the very beginning. On the one hand the girl was introverted and sensitive, but on the other she was full of energy and creativity. That combination astounded Ellie. Even though it wasn't easy, after those 3 years that passed, she managed to unblock the girl. However, there were still those moments when Ronnie got insecure and that's heartbreaking.

“Maybe I was never meant to be a painter” the girl implied as she was talking with Ellie on Skype

“Nonsense. You’re a great painter and you created a lot of wonderful works. It’ll always be a part of you, but if you don’t feel like painting any more you don’t have to”

“Bella sent me an e-mail what consequences my quitting will have”

“Which are?”

“If I terminate a contract I’ll have to pay quite a lot of money”

“This is a typical ploy”

“I know, but…”

“Look, our finance is stable. You don’t need to worry about the money. You can do it”

“And I’ll just sit at home and be your dependent? I don’t think so”

“I knew you’re going to bring it up again” Ellie shook her head “We’ll talk about it, when I come back. By the way, you remember that you’re going to the symposium with me?”

Ronnie did remember. It was going to be another dull meeting during which she would not talk with anyone, cause she’s just not like them. She didn’t like going there, but was doing it for Ellie. However, the girl failed to understand why the hell the psychiatrist wanted her to be there.

“I do, but maybe you should go there alone?”

“Why?”

“You know, those hair...”

“It’s not that bad”

“Red. My hair is fucking red. And ‘bad’ doesn’t describe it any more”

“Don’t be so dramatic. It’s only hair after all”

“El, I look like a forest fairy”

The psychiatrist burst into laughter

“Yeah. Sure. Laugh at me” Ronnie huffed

“You look stunning. I would say fairy-like” she chuckled

“It’s not funny”

“You sure? Cause I think it is”

Ronnie rolled her eyes

“I’m serious you look good. Nobody will care. And even if they do, I’ll be right there and nobody will dare to say anything”

“Ellie the bad-ass?” Ronnie laughed

“No bad-ass. Just the boss” she shrugged smirking

“Being in charge is definitely your thing” the girl stated

“I suppose it is. So, I hope you’ll be here tomorrow”

“You say it as if I had a choice”

“You do have a choice”

“You’re going to give a speech and you promised to show me what a bad-ass you can be. How can I miss such a promising event?”

_____________________________

The symposium was supposed to be the ending of the one of many business trips – on which Ellie was. She was obviously the best psychiatrist and so she was asked to discuss the topic of delusion of grandeur – in which she was an expert.

It definitely wasn’t the first time she had to make such a speech, though she didn’t really like it. After all, instead of doing it, she could focus on her work or spend some time at home with Ronnie.

That’s probably one of the reasons why she wanted the girl to be there. The second was that she hated all that fancy parties – or more precisely the people there. And being there with Ronnie she could avoid some dull and not desired talks.

Work and education had always be the Most important things for her. She worked hard to succeed and had never even thought thought that some day it wouldn’t matter that much. But there she was – in her hotel room waiting with anticipation not for the symposium – as she used to do – but for Ronnie to arrive.

Though, the girl’s flight was delayed. Due to that fact they’re supposed to meet at the symposium. Ronnie hated such situations. In the aspect of having things under control they were both similar – everything had to be planned and go according to the plan. In other circumstances they’re pissed off. And so, as Ronnie finally arrived she was, basically, on the edge. Her patience and inner peace were already overexerted, so when things complicated even more she exploded.

“I’m sorry” a slim brunette dressed in some elegant clothes came to her

“Yes?” the girl tried to sound polite despite being nervous

“Not to be rude, but I think you may have mistook the places” she affirmed

“I’m afraid I don’t understand”

“You don’t look like someone with a doctor’s degree”

Ronnie frowned and took a few steps back. Then she took a deep breath, cause internally she had already punched the woman right in her face.

“Not to be rude, but shouldn’t you mind your own business?” she responded calmly

“I’m only saying that’s a fancy place and the meeting is for the doctors with degree in psychiatry”

“I’m not going to prove you my point. Neither do I intend to duel with you, as I don’t have a habit of attacking defenceless” with that Ronnie turned back only to face her girlfriend

Ellie was standing there with her arms crossed.

“Doctor Staple” the woman began pleadingly “I was just trying to explain that this meeting requires some standards and it’s not the right place for her”

Ronnie wasn’t sure what to do – whether she ought to say anything more and simply put the woman in her place or not. Ellie’s face remained unreadable. She glanced at the woman, then back at Ronnie.

“Indeed, Miss Levine, this meeting, place and in general work requires some certain standards and abilities that you’re apparently lacking” the psychiatrist attested dryly

Ronnie’s eyes widened. She looked at Ellie surprised – she definitely hadn’t expected her to act like that

“Well, miss” she addressed Ronnie “I bet your place may be already taken, as you’re late, so I’m afraid you’ll have to sit down next to me”

The girl smiled at Ellie’s professional tone

“I bet I’ll have to make do with it”

“I suppose” Ellie’s smile came back as Ronnie came closer to her “So, how was your flight, baby?” she asked loud enough for Miss Levine to hear

The woman’s eyes widened as she learnt with whom she was just talking. And it only made Ronnie laugh at how ridiculous and stupid people could be sometimes.

“I didn’t know you can be that bossy” the girl chuckled as they entered the building

“Do you think I overreacted?”

“No. It was… well, it was funny” she laughed “For me at least. Cause the poor woman was probably at the edge of having a heart attack”

“It’s only her fault. Nobody gets to mess with my girlfriend. Definitely, not someone with inflated ego, that’s not really compatible with their intellect”

Ronnie smiled fondly looking at the psychiatrist. They’re together for a few years, but it still amazed her how protective and combative Ellie became when it’s coming to defending her. But she could act the same and when it was about standing up for Staple, Ronnie didn’t shy away from resorting to violence, which she proved on a few occasions. In the girl’s case it was rather reasoned – since she cut herself off from her mother she had nobody, but Ellie. However, even though Staple did have a loving family none of them could compare to Ronnie. She was the best that had ever happened to Ellie and it was a natural instinct – to protect what was the most precious to her. And Ronnie became, literally, the world to her.

Even during her speech, the woman wasn’t looking at anybody, but the girl. And at one point she needed to take a break, cause when her eyes met Ronnie’s she got too distracted to continue.

“Will you tell me what’s your secret?” the girl beamed when Ellie came back to her seat right next to her

“My secret?”

“Yeah. How do you know that much?”

“I don’t” she smiled

“You do. That was great. Really. You did great”

“Thank you”

“By the way, do you feel like going for a walk later? I’ve something to tell you”

Ellie looked at her questioningly

“Actually, I feel like going for a walk now” the psychiatrist said

“But it’s not the end yet…”

“So what?”

“I thought you want to stay till the end…”

“I intended to, but now I’m way too curious what you’re going to tell me”

Ronnie only shook her head chuckling, as Ellie led her to the exit.

“So? What is it?” the psychiatrist asked when they were outside

“Well, I decided that I’m going to go back to the university”

Ellie stopped and looked at the girl. She wasn’t surprised – they simply didn’t discuss how Ronnie had to take a break form the university, because of the treatment and then didn’t continue.

“What? You think it’s a bad idea?” Ronnie asked

“No. This is a great idea. I mean as long as you want it I’m going to support you”

“I don’t know yet. I would like to do something that may affect people’s life. Though there’s nothing I’m good at, so it may be hard to find something suitable. But I can always try”

“Nonsense. You’re good at everything”

“Yeah. Sure. But still there’s no studies for me”

“Did you think about psychology?”

“Psychology?”

“Yes. You would be a good psychologist. You’re a good listener and people tend to trust you”

“I… Well, do you think I can?”

“Of course, you can. It’s all up to you”

“O-okay”

“You know?”

“Yes?”

“I’m so fucking proud of you” she cupped Ronnie’s cheeks

“Because I’m going to study?”

“No! Because you’re a fighter. You defeated your insecurities and put that stupid bitch in her place”

“Well, I guess I have a good master”

At that Ellie smiled fondly and leaned in to kiss the girl.

#dr ellie staple #ellie staple #my own character #sarah paulson imagine #glass #my ideas #hope you like it #enjoy #<3

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hfskarsgardarchive · 3 years

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𝗦𝗣𝗢𝗢𝗞𝗬 𝗢𝗥 𝗦𝗘𝗫𝗬 𝗛𝗔𝗟𝗟𝗢𝗪𝗘𝗘𝗡 ┃ 𝗕 + 𝗕

Date: October 24, 2020.

Involving: Bella Hadid.

Summary: Bill and Bella talk at the Halloween party.

Bella: It was a last minute decision, there’d been spontaneous pre drinks at her place, the mentioning of a Halloween party and a couple of minutes and a very last minute repurposed costume later Bella and a few people were already on their way to the party in question. To say that Bella was already buzzed by the time she got there was an understatement, it was a mix of the drinks she had consumed, the bass of the music ringing through her body and the fact that the skin tight black latex dress she’d pulled out from the depth of her closet barely allowed her to breath. The dress itself had memories of drinks, drugs and sex clinging to it just as tightly as it was clinging to her body, no detail hidden, even her sharp hipbones visible through the fabric. It wasn’t exactly a costume and yet, with a bit of imagination and some attention paid to the little lace cat ears (again, found in the depth of her closet for reasons she wasn’t quite sure about) it could pass as a little ode to cat woman perhaps. The model lost the friends she arrived with almost as soon as she stepped into the venue, but instead her eyes met those of a man, who especially when she was already intoxicated, seemed like much better of a company than her friends. “Am I allowed to say hi to you even though I had a shot of tequila or maybe 6?” Bella asked although she was already pressing her body against bills in a hug, her lips landing against his neck opposed to his cheek in a greeting, which only was noted by her with a little grin and a small oops that left her mouth but perhaps was drowned out by the loud music.

bill: With the music going, the crowd of people wearing mostly costumes, and the alcohol free flowing, the energy surrounding the venue made Bill feel like he was stepping into a warm bath the moment he’d arrived. He’d needed this, the opportunity to have fun and blow off some steam to balance his work schedule, and Bill had every intention to live it up that night even if Halloween wasn’t typically an occasion he celebrated much. Tonight, it certainly was. Having paired up on costumes with a friend, Bill was dressed as Freddy Krueger to their Jason Vorhees as a homage to the film Freddy Vs. Jason. Only Bill’s mask had been abandoned long ago, left sitting on the bar between shots and drinks with friends, as it wasn’t exactly conductive to knocking back shots when it’d mostly been in the way. But Bill still had the classic brown hat, striped sweater, and plastic finger knives he donned on one hand. He was leaned against the bar, having just finished a glass of whiskey between shots he’d already lost count of, and the tinge of pink on his cheeks certainly told the tale. Bill didn’t see Bella approach or know she was there until he felt arms around him, and he immediately grinned for noticing her and for the company, in a drunken and happy stupor. “Are you supposed to be counting those at a party?” Bill asked with a laugh and returned the hug, resting his cheek briefly to hers, though he kept his arms around her as he looked at her costume. “Wait, what are you supposed to be?” he joked, meeting her gaze with a grin, his eyes not catching the ears she was wearing with the ensemble. “Showing up as a model doesn’t count when you do it for a living.” Not that she didn’t look good in the dress, Bill thought, but Bella always had a flair for style and well fitted clothes that made it difficult for his eyes not to wander. Which they dipped quickly before he met her gaze again. “Does that mean you’re over the limit for another shot?” he said as he finally pulled his arms back.

Bella: "Just trying to show you that I haven't lost track of them just yet, you'll get to be the bad influence who'll make me forget to keep track!" Oh it was easy to lace everything she said with a bit of suggestion, especially after a few drinks and even more so when Bill was in front of her. Yes, the past may be in the past, but none the less chemistry couldn't and frankly shouldn't be forgotten. Or maybe she was just tipsy and revelled in attention and the idea of his body against hers. "Your wet dream, thought that was obvious!" The model replied smoothly when he asked her what she was supposed to be, her costume admittedly not half as thought through as his, but at the end of the night, was anyone really counting? Especially when his gaze strayed over her body for a second and the smirk on her face told him that she knew just how good she looked in the dress that clung to her body like a glove. "Whats a limit?" The model asked and already moved past him and leant over the bar to get the bartenders attention to get 2 shots for each of them - because really, why even start with just one? "And here I was thinking you'd never drink with me again and got a bit boring, after all, who'd turn down skinny dipping?" Bella told him once she handed him a drink, obviously alluding to their trip to her moms farm although she was more teasing than anything else. Seriousness certainly wasn't part of the night.

bill: “Oh, so I’ll be the person you’re blaming for the hangover in the morning?” Bill asked with a playful laugh, knowing he was inching on that amount of alcohol himself. But it was difficult to care with the party going on around them and Bella’s company and just how good he felt just then. And while their past was often a barrier for Bill taking anything too far with Bella, that night it seemed boundaries were out the window and more charged conversation had taken the place of anything reserved. He snorted at her answer and rolled his eyes in jest. “Whatever, you’re just lucky you look good in it,” he told her, the filter between his thoughts and words more or less gone. He had to keep himself from watching when she leaned over the bar to order shots for them, and Bill half suspected by the time they were finished, he’d be past the point of not waking up with the inevitable hangover. “Are you still knocking me for that?” Bill asked with a laugh, his tone playful as he leaned against the bar next to her. “Who knew you wanted to see me naked again that badly, huh?” He grinned at her, his gaze only wavering when the bartender sat their shots down in front of them. Bill immediately picked one of them up, briefly holding it up. “Well, cheers,” he said with a smirk before he downed the shot and placed the empty glass back on the bar.

Bella: “That and any other decision I make tonight. You’re to blame for them all now!” Bella replied grinning, edging him on even further since he clearly wasn’t taking the bait she was throwing him. Maybe that was what she had always appreciated most about his company. So many guys were just too eager, to quick to jump at a chance and here he was, rolling his eyes at her in jest as she called herself his wet dream. “In it and without it!” She added to what he said before she did focus on her task ahead for a moment, her back obviously arching more than necessary as she ordered the shots, her body angled in a way that she knew made her look perhaps the most desirable she could manage right now. “Never made a secret of the fact that I loved seeing you naked whenever there was a chance!” It was a straightforward answer that was simply followed by her picking up her shot glass, winking at him almost unnoticeably before she downed the liquid contents. “Look at you, finally bold enough to have a drink with me again!”

bill: Bill laughed and shook his head at her words. “No, I have my own problems to deal with. You’re on your own for yours.” Their back and forth rapport had always been a bit of an amusement for Bill, but it hadn’t been quite this forward in some time when Bill himself had been careful about not crossing any lines. But with his being drunk, that had gone out the window, lowered inhibitions in place instead. “Sounds more like yours, but at least you can get away with it, I guess,” Bill quipped with a grin that turned into a smirk at her next words. He had to admit, the attention felt good, made him feel desirable even, and Bill had missed that on some level, even if the words were just inspired by too many drinks. He tipped the second shot back soon after, placing the glass rim down on the bar’s surface. “You say that like we didn’t have wine,” Bill pointed out and grinned, leaning a little against the bar, his head swimming from all the drinks. “You don’t think that counts?”

Bella: She could read that he was pleased with her answer, not just because she knew him, or still felt like she did, but because he was easy to read right now which was certainly due to some drinks being consumed and inhibitions that he had built so high when it came to her it often seemed were fading. “No, wine drunk you still pretends he’s never fucked me in the alleyway behind a strip club!” The brunette told him simply, though the memories she recalled as she did so almost made her shudder softly. “Remember that?” She asked innocently, though she knew the question was anything but especially not with the way her body brushed up against his as she reached for her second shot that was still on the countertop of the bar. “We were hot, you know. Not all was bad!”

bill: “You must have enjoyed it a lot if you’re bringing it up,” Bill said, his voice still laced with teasing as he grinned at her. He could have said that not mentioning it didn’t mean he’d forgotten, certainly impossible with the way that night had gone, but already his mind was recalling certain details from it that stood out: how warm her skin had felt against his own, the taste of liquor on her lips, how uninhibited he’d felt having his way with her in an alleyway, the high he’d felt for the whole thing being his fantasy and how willing she’d been to carry it out. A breath left his lips as the thoughts took him over, and Bill couldn’t help letting his mind wander as Bella brushed up against him, seemingly innocently and not at the same time. It was something Bill hadn’t let himself think about for a long time, yet now, it was impossible to avoid, not just because Bella had mentioned it. “I can’t say that night in particular was bad, though. It was actually pretty fun,” he confessed, pushing the other shot glass away from him, his eyes still focused on her. “Why, are you trying to say you’d want to do it again?” Bill asked, slight smirk on his lips that was half curious, half knowing it was a dangerous question, yet also too inebriated to hold it back.

Bella: ”one of the best nights of my life - wait, let me correct that, one of the best orgasms of my life!” cause she could hardly declare that night a true success. There had been quite some tears involved as well. Him almost bushing it off, or so it seemed to her had her roll her eyes at him ”slightly fun he says..!” she teased repeating his words before she grinned at him and teasingly added ”as if you haven't at least once thought about that night either when it was just you and your hand or the hand of some perfectly innocent little girl you met and took home with you!” oh she was pushing it, but this was already further and sexier than any of their conversations had gone ever since they last fucked, so who knew what this even was really. When he used his other shot glass away she casually picked it up and downed it effortlessly, probably something shed regret tomorrow unless she'd find one or more ways to sober up tonight. ”I could do with a repeat of that, or that night on the boat when you took me from behind against the mirror in the bathroom...!” of the bath they took together after she surprised him in Vancouver, frankly there were many moments she would repeat but saying and of this would hardly collaborate with the femme fatale card she was currently trying to play. “Would I let you drag me out of here and fuck me in the next best corner?” She let the question hang in the air for a moment before her eyes met his again with a certain glint in them that she was sure he could read without much hesitation. “You might pretend you don’t think about us at all anymore, but you still got to admit that I turn you on!” The words were suddenly whispered against her ear, the model giving the character she was dressed as a run for her money as she smoothly leant against him, words whispered against his ear

bill: It was difficult for Bill not to chuckle a little at Bella’s compliment even if he couldn’t fully believe it, or if it was something she was saying simply to be charming. Bill reasoned that was one of many reasons why people loved being around Bella, that she had a knack for making people feel special whenever they had her attention. And Bill inevitably felt the same pull just then even despite questioning the words a little. “Maybe a little more than slightly fun then, best orgasm of your life and all,” he teased, the grin still on his lips. The conversation had certainly taken a turn Bill didn’t anticipate with bringing up memories he hadn’t thought about in a long time, like the boat party where they’d ended up having sex in the bathroom and afterwards, which he hadn’t told Bella, feeling slightly ashamed of himself for doing that despite the complications it inevitably would cause. That time in his life and now couldn’t have been more different, although it was difficult for Bill’s drunken mind not to focus on the actual sex, how good it’d felt and the excitement of the moment. And even then, a soft breath left his lips as Bella’s words were whispered against his ear. “You turn everyone on,” Bill heard himself saying in return, his voice equally a whisper and words he knew she’d likely find some excitement in for his agreeing so easily than playing it cool the way he usually did. His hand found a place on her hip once she moved in closer, while he tried to ignore how so little space between them was spiking his heart rate. “But are you serious with that or just fucking with me?”

Bella: “Pretend it was mediocre all you want, we both know the truth!” For as self conscious Bella could be, at least in private and in secret, it hardly ever was about her effect on men or certain performances, shall we call it? It if came to that she knew she’d had a way of staying in certain people brain and it was obviously something she enjoyed more than just a little. “Everyone?” Bella asked grinning at his words, the fact that her boldness seemed to enable him, or at least made him less casual than usual enough of a compliment for her already. “Don’t care about everyone right now as long as I turn you on!” She finally purred, closing even the smallest gap between them, her hips grinding against his as if she wanted to feel if he meant his words. “Can’t say I’m fucking with you right now but I sure wouldn’t mind it..!” The model replied cheekily, obviously aware that it was nowhere near what he had meant with his words. “But I won’t unless you tell me what you want. Plus that you thought of this, at least the sex in slightly lonelier times!”

bill: Hearing Bella’s words didn’t surprise Bill just then, as there was always something boldly coy about them, the way she could so easily straddle the line between playful and commanding all at once. And there was a part of Bill that wanted to admit he’d spent a lot of time thinking about that night long after the fact - how could he not when it’d been his fantasy? - and had only stopped when things had gone sour between them, during the period he’d exiled her from his thoughts and refused to think about her at all. But they weren’t in that place anymore, were they? Not with the way Bella was grinding his hips against hers, earning a low moan from Bill’s lips for the contact. Even the answer to his question was her usual brand of coy and teasing, which didn’t surprise him despite that his question had been sincere. “Bella,” he breathed out, pressing his hand onto her hip in hopes to still her so he could express himself. Granted, his mind too easily shifted to the other ways he could do that, without words and with lips and teeth and bodies pressed instead. But he forced himself to focus and drew in a breath, his gaze still on hers. “You don’t think that we...I mean, we’re good now, aren’t we? Things with us?” he asked, his words a little slurred with the drinks he’d had that night. “Don’t you think doing anything will just mess it up?”

Bella: It was something she liked about Bill, the restraint and self awareness that made it possible for a moan to leave his mouth while simultaneously questioning what they were doing and if, or how things could go wrong again. “I think things are great, especially right now!” She answered once again coyly although this time the words held a true meaning, despite the fact that she was distracted by his hands grip on her hip. “I think we are good and could be even better with a lot less clothes!” She added grinning before she smiled as softly as the booze in her system allowed it. “I think we aren’t where we were then and I think we’d be stupid not to at least have some fun tonight. Leave the questions for tomorrow when we are hungover?”

bill: Even though there was a part of Bill that wanted to just give in to his own desires, especially with the way Bella's hips moved against his own, he couldn't stop the questions he'd asked her just then from circling his mind. "Yeah, they're great right now because we don't have our clothes off," Bill countered with a slight smirk, moving his hand from her hip and forcing himself to ease back a little, a tough act in itself for the sudden loss of contact and the fact that he was unsteady and had to grip the bar's edge for that small movement. "I'm being serious, though. I know you want to remember all the fun stuff and it's not like I don't too, but...we were a mess," Bill finished with a laugh, unable to describe the situation or them in any other way. "I just feel like we'd wake up with more regrets tomorrow than just the hangover." When the bartender walked by, Bill motioned to him and asked for a couple more shots for each of them. He was already on his way to a hangover, so why not do it all the way? Afterwards, Bill turned his attention back to Bella. "I know you're probably gonna say I'm boring for that," he said with a shrug and another laugh. "You never know though, you might thank me for it in the morning."

Bella: Oh if there was one thing Bella was famously bad at handling it was rejection and it was written all over her face, perhaps there was even a slight wince audible as he called them a mess. Undoubtably true but in her mind that had still come after the good parts. The mess had started after they’d decided to back off, not to see each other anymore..or well, he had decided that and she had continued to push his buttons for him to give back into her. “Mh, yes I’m sure you’re right!” She told him and helped him out as he seemed to want to create space, stepping unnecessarily far away from him to lean against the bar, thankful that while they clearly weren’t on the right page right now about sex, or them in general, they certainly were about drinks. “Probably will, I’m sure there’s always someone else waiting just around the corner!” As if proof her point, her eyes were wandering over the room as if to scan for another person. “Bold choice, no sex but more drinks, sure you won’t regret that too though?”

bill: The filter between Bill’s brain and mouth was gone thanks to the alcohol, otherwise he might have found a gentler way to say they hadn’t worked well together. Especially seeing the visible wince on her features, even if they were quickly and seemingly replaced by the calm Bella often exuded, he thought, a way of saying there was nothing she couldn’t easily brush off. Bill knew better even as her eyes searched the area for someone else, but he played along, lifting a shoulder in a shrug. “I’m sure there is,” he said with a slight smile. Bill had often thought about where they’d stand with each other if he hadn’t stopped seeing her, if they’d be closer than they were. But that point in his life had also been when he was mourning his relationship with his daughter’s mother, and all his actions and thoughts in that time had been haphazard at best, based on what distracted him, whether they were good or bad decisions. Now that he was more level, more clear-headed and able to navigate his life more confidently, he couldn’t help noticing the glaring differences between the two of them, ones that ate at him in moments like this. “I’m already gonna be hungover,” Bill admitted with a smirk, giving a nod to the bartender when he set the shots near them. Bill knocked one back immediately, pressing his lips together once he’d swallowed the liquor and swiping his tongue across them. “Doesn’t it get old sometimes, though?” he asked after a moment, a bit randomly as he looked at Bella again. “I mean, hook-ups.”

Bella: “Of course it does!” The answer came so quickly it almost surprised her to hear the words so quickly. “What do you think why I was on the farm for so long?” She had pulled back from her previous life quite a bit, not purposefully and not consciously, but once her and Abel had been very officially and finally over, her and Bill had stop hooking up - and yes, so many things had spiralled just being on the farm with her mom and the horses had been calming - and work was still more demanding than ever so it was a nice balance. Taking the shot up she downed it easily and smiled at Bill softly. “You know, some would think you should have looked behind the facade yet, am I really that hard to read?”

bill: Bill's eyebrows rose a little in surprise at her answer when he hadn't quite known what answer to expect, but it decidedly wasn't that one, Bella agreeing with him. "Because it's a nice farm?" he answered somewhat lamely, though he'd never gotten more the impression that she'd just liked it there or perhaps was taking the break from work. And after visiting it for himself, Bill couldn't blame her for wanting to be there, and he doubted he'd need a reason to retreat to a place like that aside from just wanting to. But Bill had only just recently started talking to Bella again, making her personal life a bit lost on him, aside from the obvious points he'd already known, like Abel. He downed half his shot at her question, for the moment putting the leftover back on the bar's surface. "I mean, maybe," he admitted with a small smile as he looked at her. "That just wasn't the answer I thought you'd give." Bill wasn't entirely sure why he'd brought the subject up in the first place, other than the alcohol making it easier for stream of consciousness thoughts to come to the surface. "I guess it gets old for me sometimes, that's all. But I guess that's what happens when you spend the better part of a year doing it," he admitted before he finished his drink and set the glass down again.

Bella: “It’s a nice farm? Babe have we been to the same place, it’s decidedly a lot better than just nice!” But it wasn’t the point, yes the farm was nice, or great, or fantastic, or whatever she wanted to call it - but it still had been a bit of a hideout. For many reasons. The partying, the boys, the drugs, her health...things perhaps seemed neatly wrapped up from the outside but at the end Bella was still the kind of girl who after a hard days work loved coming home to her mom and the animals - and a home cooked meal. “I know cause you assume I’d only have sex with you, or anyone for the sake of it. It’s not quite like that, even if that’s hard to believe!” Sure, sometimes that was all there is, electricity, chemistry, sex, it all went hand in hand and yet Bella did believe, especially with Bill things went a bit beyond. He had called them chaotic..or something even less flattering early but Bella, or at least her subconscious seemed to remember the other side of a coin a lot more distinctly. “Well you did it because the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else!” She told him shrugging, ultimately still believing that was the only reason he had even started seeing her in the first place. Why Bella was doing all of this? Validation? A boost to her ego that seemed overblown at times but actually craved attention and love more than anything else? To set herself apart from Gigi’s good girl image? Many reasons but all too hard to explain, or wanting to explain. “I’m gonna offer something and you’ll say no cause you will think it’s a terrible idea but I do have a bottle of whiskey back at the hotel that I think you’d like. I’ll even behave and try my best not to tempt you into something you think of as a massive mistake!” She couldn’t deny that she hated how he thought about her and their past and she knew that was audible on her voice, but none the less she meant her offer - it being put out there without many secret thoughts or anything she wanted to get at

bill: “Oh god, you know I enjoyed being there. Stop nitpicking the words I use,” Bill said with a light and playful roll of his eyes. Bill perhaps hadn’t been in the spotlight for long compared to most others, but with so many members of his family being actors, he’d been around the business long enough there was often a persona people presented to the public, separate from their more private self. And while Bill had done his best to resist making the two exponentially different - he’d admit his public self was perhaps more quiet and thoughtful than the goofy social butterfly he was in private - he understood the need for that separation. And it would have been easy to assume that was what Bella did with the party girl persona versus the homebody who liked being on her farm, but what confused Bill was how she seemed to lean into both personas so much that it felt impossible to conclude one was more her than the other, that they both weren’t her personality despite that they conflicted. “Then how is it, if it’s not quite like that?” he asked, genuinely curious. Bill rested his arm on the bar, regarding her words by briefly chewing his lip. “There’s no one I’m hung up on,” he told her, and didn’t realize until the words were out that Bella hadn’t known about his relationship after them, that had ultimately faded. He’d been disappointed but not surprised, and the hurt from it was easy to fade too, easier than he’d thought it’d be. But when trying for another relationship had gone awry, Bill had given up for a while, sleeping with people when the opportunity arose, but only if they were on the same page of no strings. But even that had gotten old somehow. He shrugged a little before he continued. “I just...I don’t know, miss there being more to it, actually wanting someone than just, we’re doing this for the same goal of feeling good and getting off. But that makes me sound like I need a relationship and anyone who wanted that would do, and it’s not that. I just—-“ Want someone who fits me, Bill had meant to say before he trailed off with a smirk, feeling like he’d said more than he’d intended already. “Never mind.” He pressed his lips together as he listened to Bella’s offer, seconding in his head that it wasn’t the best of ideas to take her up on it. “I’m flying out with a friend in the morning, so I probably shouldn’t,” he said, not an outright rejection but one out of necessity. “Want a whiskey nightcap here, though? We can always have that,” Bill said as he motioned to the bartender, knowing it would probably make him sick on top of all the other drinks he’d had. But with the feeling slightly vulnerable came the urge to numb it.

#my heart has no pity on me » paras.#featuring » bella hadid.

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perditaalottachocolate-blog · 7 years

Text

Nino Appreciation Week - Day 1: Music/Film - “Let It Go”

@wearemiraculous Let the week begin!

(Also on AO3 / fanfiction.net )

Day: 1 | 2 | 3 (Part 2 of this story) | 4 | 5 |

‘Hey, babe! Whassup?!’

Alya froze on the doorstep eyeing Nino up and down.

‘What are you doing here?’ she asked suspiciously.

‘Um, visiting my friends?’ he ventured. ‘It’s nice to see you too?’ he suggested after lack of response on her end of the conversation.

The redhead took a sweeping glance at the corridor behind his back. ‘Adrien’s not with you?’

‘Nope. He’s getting ready,’ Nino replied with a surprising amount of sarcasm.

‘Then it’s good you’re here,’ Alya dragged him inside and closed the door in one swift motion. ‘I need a babysitter.’

‘What now?’

‘A babysitter. Maman had an emergency at the restaurant so she dropped Etta and Ella at my place. They are already crazy bored.’

‘So?’

‘So I need you to keep them busy somehow.’

‘Why don’t you do it yourself? You’re an expert at babysitting or so I’ve heard,’ Nino grinned at her. Babysitting two little girls? Nah, he’ll pass.

‘Please Nino,’ Alya pursed her lips and fluttered her lashes. ‘I know you’re actually quite good with kids and we have a crisis.’ She nodded in the direction of the bathroom.

‘A crisis.’ Nino repeated flatly.

Marinette’s head emerged from behind the bathroom door. At least he thought it was Marinette. Bluebell eyes, freckles and her timid smile were all there, but her hair…

‘Oh…’ he whispered not sure what one is supposed to say when some alien creature attacks your friend’s head. Alya followed his gaze and chuckled.

‘May I introduce you to Miss Madly Clumsy’s newest adventure,’ she announced. ‘Pre-date hair crisis.’

Marinette tried to groan but it came out more as a giggle. Nino suspected that after years of various hapless incidents she was bound to get used to things like that.

‘Wait. Why aren’t you at your place helping Adrien?’ the crisis girl asked.

‘Um…,’ Nino scratched his chin. ‘It got too Agrestive for me there.’

Alya and Marinette rolled their eyes in unison.

‘Ugh, you spend too much time with Adrien,’ the latter muttered. ‘But why are you really here?’

‘I politely excused myself after a not very pleasant conversation with Adrien’s father.’

‘And what’s his father doing there? It’s your place.’

‘Apparently supporting his son before his first real date,’ Nino said dryly. ‘Anyway, he didn’t like my suggestions as to what Adrien should wear.’

‘So you left Adrien alone?’

‘What? No! What kind of friend would do that?!’ Nino spluttered indignantly. ‘No, his father is helping him now.’

‘WHAT?!’ Alya looked mortified.

‘Look. This is Gabriel freaking Agreste. Do you know anyone better qualified to choose Adrien’s clothes for this occasion?’ He asked raising his brow and nodding slightly in Marinette’s direction. The brunette was making quiet squealing noises, though Nino couldn’t guess if it was at the thought her childhood idol choosing an outfit or her crush getting all dolled up. As far as he knew it could have even been both.

‘Oh…’ The redhead deflated a bit. ‘And Adrien’s okay with that?’

‘Relax, babe. He’s ecstatic. Best day ever, huh?’

‘I suppose,’ Alya didn’t look convinced. ‘Anyway, the twins? I’ll go get them.’

‘Fine,’ Nino gave up. He would be more than happy to do anything Alya asked for. He sent a love-struck look after her. Nino only allowed himself those when no one was around.

‘If you’d ask her out she’d say yes, you know,’ he heard Marinette’s small voice beside him. Crap, he thought she was in the bathroom. ‘You’ve been looking at her like that for a long time. You should do something about it,’ she said gently.

‘Look at her,’ he said resigned. ‘What would a girl like that want from a guy like me?’

‘Oh, Ninny,’ he felt her arms snaking around his shoulders and then she was hugging him. ‘How can you even say that! You’re a fantastic guy, and Alya would be lucky to be with you!’ She exclaimed with passion that startled Nino for a moment.

‘Don’t repeat the mistakes me and Adrien have made,’ she whispered into his ear. ‘Five years! We’ve wasted five years dancing around each other, while we could have been together all this time!’

‘Yeah,’ Nino chuckled. ‘It’s ridiculous how long it took you two oblivious idiots to finally get to the first date.’

‘See?’ Marinette withdrew from the hug and gave him a warm smile. ‘You’re not an oblivious idiot. Just tell her!’ She hugged him again and he kissed the top of her head.

‘Thank youuuu- what the hell did you do to your hair!’ Now that he got a close look this didn’t look like alien invasion but more like a science experiment gone very wrong.

‘Um… curling iron and green highlights – not my best idea,’ she said sheepishly.

‘Right. His colors,’ Nino muttered under his breath. ‘Adrien would love it.’ He admitted.

‘Well, he’s gonna have to love ordinary me and what’s left of my hair.’ Marinette flashed him a bright smile just as Alya emerged from her room with two little redheads in tow.

‘I’ve found the scissors,’ she said. ‘Etta was getting busy with one of my comics,’ she sent the twin on the left a murderous glare. Nino always wondered how could she tell which sister was which.

‘Please, don’t let them leave your sight. They’re worse than Chat’s cataclysm,’ she warned and urged them into the living room. Then she turned to Marinette.

‘Haircut time, dear,’ she announced and her friend sighed in resignation disappearing behind bathroom door.

***

Nino was at a loss. He was good with kids, his little cousins to be precise, but it was easy enough. He just had to find a ball and ask who was going to be Neymar and for the next hour or so the problem was solved. Then he would turn on one cartoon or another and prepare some food. His little cousins were easy to manage. But girls? What did they do for fun?

Currently the twins were busying themselves with a pile of old clothes Alya had just dumped in the middle of the living room.

‘I’m gonna be Cinderella!’ One of them, possibly Ella, exclaimed wrapping Marinette’s blue pareo around herself.

‘And I’m gonna be Bella! The other, probably Etta, replied instantly putting on Alya’s yellow sundress.

Ah, it looked like they were quite happy. Nino took that opportunity to inspect his phone to check if Adrien was still alive.

A few texts and one extremely Chat style gif later Nino was so focused on his phone that he missed an innocent question, automatically replying “Sure”.

‘But which princess?’ An inquiring voice brought him back from conversation with his best friend.

‘What?’

‘Which princess you’re going to be?’

‘Excuse me?’ Nino raised his eyes from his phone to see two mounds of folded fabric with hazel eyes.

‘What are you looking at?’ The yellow mound asked instantly diving to his phone.

‘Do you have any princesses there?’ The blue heap followed her sister and Nino lost hold of the device.

Hmmm. One phone, three people? What could he do?

***

‘My work here is done!’ Alya announced emerging from the bathroom half an hour later, Marinette at her heels inspecting her new haircut in a hand mirror.

‘Awww, Alya! You’re amazing! I never would have thought pixie cut would suit me,’ She cooed at her reflection. ‘How are you so good with scissors!’

‘Ah, remember that time when there was that thing I couldn’t do?’

Marinette widened her eyes in surprise. ‘No.’

‘Neither do I,’ Alya winked at her. ‘Now where’s our babysitter and the little monst- I mean the little angels? Oh-‘ she stopped mid step and put a finger to her lips.

‘What?’ Marinette whispered looking over her friend’s shoulder. ‘Oh-‘

‘ ♪ ~Let it goO! Let it gOOo!~ ♪ ’ sang a little but strong voice as Alya started sneaking her way into the living room. ‘ ♪ ~And I'll rise like the break of daAawn~ ♪ .’

‘ ♪ ~Let it goO! Let it gOOo!~ ♪ ’ a second soprano joined, clear as a bell, when they turned around the corner ‘ ♪ ~That perfect girl is goOne~ ♪ !’

‘ ♪ ~Here I staAand in the light of daaAay!~ ♪ ’ a third, much lower voice took over.

Alya and Marinette reach the room and saw that it belonged to a familiar tall figure wrapped in blue and white shawls, save for a red cap on top. The figure took hold of a pink microphone and was now reaching the end of the vocals at the top of his voice.

‘ ♪ ~Let the storm rage oOOOOOOOOOO-~ ’ Nino dragged the last note as long as he could but faltered noticing the unexpected audience.

Marinette and Alya instantly turned, their backs touching and hips cocked. ‘The cold never bothered me anyway!’ they sang in unison smiling at their quickly reddening friend.

‘Encore! Encore!’ The twins screamed excitedly, jumping on the couch. Nino was the best babysitter they ever had!

There’s also Part 2 of this story - for Day 3: Favorite Ship

#Nino appreciation week #We are miraculous #Nino Lahiffe #day 1: music/film #miraculous ladybug #ml fic

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rejection-isnt-failure · 7 years

Text

I'd be happy if the ending of PP3 went this way...

sobs. BECHLOE IS REAL. BECHLOE IS REAL. BECHLOE IS REAL.

The cool ocean breeze felt heavenly on the slick skin at the back of Beca’s neck as she moved her hair over to her other shoulder. It had been a long and strenuous day for the young brunette; Theo’s persistence of taking her on a date grew tiresome with every “no thanks” that fell from her lips.

Why couldn’t men understand the meaning of “no”? It was the same with Jesse and his movies; it’s as if he had considered her repetitive “I don’t like movies” to be a challenge. How she had she even put up with dating him for 3 years? That was a mystery for sure, but what she did know is that her heart had made room for someone that was not him.

That someone had the most beautiful baby blue eyes she had ever seen, which twinkled with so much happiness that they were simply mesmerising. That same someone also had a smile that emanated warmth and comfort, and hair as striking as auburn flames. Their face, however, was as if God himself had carved it from perfection. Chloe was beautiful in every sense of the word; inside and out.

Shaking herself from her thoughts, Beca could not stop herself from thinking about all the missed opportunities where she could have said something. She felt disgusted with herself. Everyone had constantly told her the extent to which her feelings were in fact requited… and what had she done about it? Run. She had run from her feelings; she had run from her. She did not deserve Chloe, Aubrey had told her that on many occasions, but she sure as hell was not going to let Chloe go again. Not this time.

Beca had learnt her lesson the hard way; if she wanted to be with Chloe, she’d have to fight for her. She was not going to lose her to some handsome military man. The thought of her redhead moving on was the equivalent to a punch in the gut… with an iron fist… over and over again.

This was the Bellas’ last day in Greece before going their separate ways once more, and subsequently, the last chance Chloe could spend with Chicago…

It was that thought that gave Beca the courage to get her head out of her ass and quicken her pace. Where was she going? She had no idea. She just knew she had to fucking hurry and find Chloe before anything could happen between them. The DJ was feeling desperate now, Chloe could be anywhere. She stumbled across Aubrey conversing with another soldier, and she yelled her name as loud as she could.

Responding to the interruption with a dirty look, Aubrey excused herself and took in Beca’s ragged appearance. Frowning, she waited patiently whilst allowing Beca to catch her breath. She caught the words “Chloe” and “can’t find” before she was able to put the pieces together.

“Why should I tell you where she is?” Aubrey said through pursed lips as she crossed her arms protectively over her chest.

Beca sighed, running her fingers through her hair and Aubrey had never seen the younger girl look this frightened. She realised that this was important to her, so she softened her look.

The taller blonde had known for many years how the younger girl felt about her best friend, after all, she had received regular updates from the Bellas… and Chloe herself. But when Beca had refused to make a move on the redhead, even after she breaking up with the Treble, Chloe had understandably been devastated.

“Look Aubrey”, Beca started, “I know I’m not your favourite person-”

Aubrey scoffed because duh.

“You gave me the "best friend talk” after you graduated because you wanted to make sure Chloe was looked after, and you know I took that role very seriously…“ She trailed off, waiting for Aubrey’s acknowledgment and smiled slightly when she saw the older girl begrudgingly nod.

"And I know you think I don’t deserve her, that she is too good for me… and I agree. But Aubrey, I love her.” Aubrey felt a tug on her heart when she heard Beca’s voice break at the word “love”. Goddamnit Mitchell

Wiping away her tears furiously, as if angry that she could be so weak in front of her old captain. “I love her so fucking much and I can’t lose her Aubrey. I just can’t.”

Aubrey let her eyes roam over Beca’s face, as if looking for signs of dishonesty, and let a small smile grace her lips.

“They went down to the beach.” The blonde then placed her right hand on Beca’s left shoulder, squeezing reassuringly. “Hurry.”

And with that, Beca ran. She ran like her life depended on it. Her legs were cramping but she didn’t let that stop her. She had seen Forrest Gump enough times to know that she had to keep running. And so she did.

She did not stop until she saw them standing by the sea wall, overlooking the shimmering ocean and corresponding sunset. The sky being a melange of outstanding colours… and yet, all she saw was Chloe.

Her best friend had her head lowered; Chicago standing in front of her with a hand on her shoulder, as if providing her some comfort.

Beca found herself moving forward; her breath caught in her throat. She did not dare to even breathe.

This was it.

She saw Chicago place a hand under Chloe’s chin and tilt her head up towards his.

Beca quickened her pace with more purpose, tears gathering in her eyes once more.

Chloe and Chicago’s mouths moved towards each other, millimetre by millimetre, and Beca felt as if she were within a nightmare. She was running but it felt as though it was not fast enough.

She watched as Chloe’s eyelids closed and just before their lips could touch, Beca reached them. With all her might, she shoved Chicago over the sea wall and without wasting a single moment, she placed her lips on Chloe’s.

Fireworks. Warmth. Love. Comfort. Beca felt so much at once and she pulled Chloe closer to her, deepening the kiss even further. Their tongues caressed one another’s she ran her nails through Chloe’s hair, causing the older girl to moan into her mouth.

The redhead was surprised at what she felt in the kiss with Chicago. It was strange, because she had kissed Beca a few times during past games of Truth and Dare with the Bellas, and this kiss emitted those exact same feelings. It saddened her because, truth be told, she wished she were kissing Beca.

Chloe frowned when she pressed closer to Chicago and realised that his frame seemed smaller than normal. Moving her hands up to Chicago’s hair, her eyes shot open as her fingers ran through long and luscious strands of hair rather than the short curly locks.

Her eyes widened further as they locked onto stormy blues instead of chocolate browns. Breaking the kiss to catch her breath, she stared at Beca disbelievingly. There is no way Beca feels the same way

The smaller girl had a blissful smile on her face and her hands tightened around Chloe’s biceps to keep the close proximity between them. Never once did their eyes leave one another’s, not even for a second.

“Beca?” Chloe whispered, eyes searching Beca’s face for something, anything… a hint or a sign.

“Shhh.” Beca whispered, her mouth millimetres away from Chloe’s. “I know I have shitty timing, but I couldn’t let you kiss him. I just couldn’t.” Her breath smelt sweet, like liquorice, and Beca felt like she could not get enough.

She lifted up her hand to gently wipe away Chloe’s tears, before laying a tender kiss on each tear-stained check.

“I love you Chloe Beale. God I love you so much, and if you feel anything for me at all, please don’t leave me. Don’t be with Chicago, be with me. I’m sorry it took so long, I just love you so much. I’m so deeply in love with you… and I think I always have been.” She barely holds herself together long enough to get those words out.

Chloe releases an agonising sob as she pulls Beca impossibly closer to bury her face into the smaller girl’s shoulder.

“I thought- I thought-” The rest of the sentence seemed to get caught in Chloe’s throat and Beca instead presses a long kiss against her lips.

“I know babe. I know. I was stupid… so so foolish and I want to make it up to you. Let me make it up to you?” Hope coloured Beca’s voice and she desperately looking into endless pools of blue.

A huff of laughter escaped the redhead’s lips and she presses her lips to Beca’s once more, leaving little pecks and murmuring “yes” between each peck.

They were interrupted by someone clearing their throat loudly and both girls’ attentions were drawn to the lone figure who remained floating in the water. Beca giggled before leaning over the sea wall with an apologetic smile and gesturing to the ladder 20 feet away.

Looking back at Chloe, Beca allowed a real smile grace her face and brought their lips together once more… twice more… for an eternity.

#bechloe #Bechloe fic #PP3 #Beca and Chloe #NOT CHICAGO

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