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dangermousie · 3 years

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Hello !

I was wondering whether you could rate and tell us of your top 5 favourite webnovels/cnovels of all time ?! (Sorry if this has already been answered lol😅)

Thank you, stay safe and have a nice day🖤

Awww, thank you and that is such a lovely ask!!!

From n1 to n5, here they are (they happen to be all danmei.)

1. The Husky and His White Cat Shizun (2ha) - my n1 forever and ever.

Taxian Jun, the horrific cultivation emperor of the world who razed cities and destroyed sects, is surrounded on his mountain. The righteous sects are terrified to confront him but tired of living, Taxian Jun consumes poison and dies by suicide at the age of 32. And opens his eyes as 16 year old Mo Ran, Mo Ran long before he became Taxian Jun, Mo Ran who is excited at a chance to save the one person he loved and lost. Oh, and to deal with his loathed shizun, the unapproachable and strict Chu Wanning, his past life’s biggest enemy.

I have no idea if it’s objectively the best on this list but it hits every trope I love, its bleak worldview (the world will change only incrementally but that’s enough, average person will not appreciate the sacrifice but it’s still worthwhile, and love is worth everything) mirrors mine, and the sheer complexity of the plot and cascade of plot twists each of which is insane and yet completely logical, is amazing (this is a rare novel where it’s even more fun to reread than read for the first time because you keep seeing all the hints and trail crumbs laid out that you did not see the first time.)

And the characters!!! I mean, this novel has multiple universes/timelines, a side trip to the Underworld AND the demon realm, a plot more twisted than a store’s worth of pretzels and yet the thing that hits me the most are the characters. Mo Ran is my favorite web novel character of all time and I love Chu Wanning so. All the secondary characters are wonderfully written (and some of them made me bawl) and they are all complex. My opinion of all of them changed many times over; the novel doesn’t make it easy to love some of them but then you do and it’s so worthwhile! That slow change is one of the delights of the novel - I started out disliking the unpleasant, superior Chu Wanning and cruel, callow Mo Ran and then I loved them so so hard and cried for them so so hard and was in awe of their heroism and sacrifice and selflessness and capacity to love.

Oh, and the fact that this novel does something almost impossible - it has its protagonist start out as so clearly irredeemable and then slowly and painfully and thoroughly redeems him (without ever letting the reader forget what it is he needs redemption for.)

Also, for a novel that made me cry so hard I felt ill, this book is just so damn funny with the most sarcastic sense of humor imaginable (the serious angst doesn’t even kick in until 90+ chapters!)

Anyway I should stop or I will write a dissertation. But this is the one web novel that I would put in my top 5 not just web novels but any novels in any shape or form. The plentiful trigger warnings are there for a reason so stay away if they are an issue, but if not, if anyone hasn’t read it yet, what are you doing with your life?!

2. Stains of Filth (Yuwu) - another novel by the author of 2ha. Clearly she just pushes all my buttons every time. This one is much shorter and has a plot that is twisty but less twisty than 2ha. Still, all that means is that intensity and the pain are more concentrated.

Aristocratic Mo Xi and former slave Gu Mang were both legendary generals of the empire and lovers. But Gu Mang betrayed the country and switched to the enemy. Now he is back as a peace offering by that country and Mo Xi has to deal with the fact that his feelings are as strong as ever.

This novel!!! So much pain and intensity!!! So many amazing plot twists and supporting characters. The same bleak world view, the same unjust society, the same protagonists doing right things despite the cost. Mo Xi’s intensity and inability to let go (he’s imprinted on Gu Mang and that’s it) is romantic, bone-shakingly intense, and tragic all at once. And oh Gu Mang! So many times I just wanted to reach into the book physically to protect him. The novel deals with unjust societies, memory versus personality, what it’s like to be good in a bad universe etc. And it both made me sob and giggle, repeatedly, and sold me on literally death-defying (but not honor-defying!) love.

Oh, and special shout out to the fact that like 2ha, you may start out hating some characters and end up a rabid fangirl (cough Murong Lian!)

3. Qiang Jin Jiu - a dense political tome that takes a while to get going but then it’s a runaway train.

In a fictional dynasty, Shen Zechuan, the only remaining son of a disgraced aristocratic family and Xiao Chiye, the younger son of a family of generals guarding the border join forces (and then something else) to get power and pull down the dysfunctional system.

This is so elegant and smart (a rare web novel I’d recommend to anyone who just loves solid period fiction) and you probably need a notebook to keep track of the politics and military strategy. These characters are very very smart not just because the author says so.

As to the characters, there is a large cast and I love many of them, but for me the novel is made by Shen Zechuan and Xiao Chiye. SZC is gorgeous and delicate and icy and can kill you before you have time to blink. Saddled with the sins of the family he had no pleasant interaction with, he claws his way out of hell (seeing the sinkhole he was trapped in, literally as well) to take down those who wronged him but also to amass power so all the tragedy and corruption won’t happen again and the whole rotten system comes crashing down. XCY is a military genius who is trapped as a hostage in the capital because the court doesn’t trust his family. He longs to return to the plains of home and to take his rightful place. The two men start out as bitter enemies, then reluctant and sniping allies, then as friends and eventually as one of the most gorgeous, tender, swoony OTPs.

Anyway this is one is a bona fide masterpiece, equal parts smart and emotionally intense.

4. Wu Chang Jie - are you an emotional vampire? I am and this novel is a banquet.

In a highly fantastical setting, we meet our protagonists - the sunny Xie Bian and the intense and surly Fan Wushe. Xie Bian is a human who assists his master in conveying souls to the underworld and making sure no mishaps happen. Bian is concentrated sunshine in human form and to meet him is to love him. When the novel opens, his drunk master brings back another human to be his shidi and assist with duties - said human is uncommunicative, intense and surly Wushe. Bian is excited to have a shidi but little does he know that a story dealing with the horrors of past lifetime is about to start.

Anyway, why WCJ? So many reasons. It has such a dark bleak worldview - this world is a horrifying system where powerful cannibalize each other’s cores for an impossible chance to ascend, where gods have sealed off their realm and all that’s left is neverending human misery and hell (the only way you’d see a deity is if they’d been sent down to suffer over and over and over), where even reincarnation doesn’t fix things and bad acts are often unpunished. And the novel then asks - is it worth being a good person in such a world? More, is it worth being a good person in such a world when nothing good has ever happened to you and you have been repeatedly betrayed due to your goodness? And the answer, on Bian’s part, is an uncompromising yes.

Ah yes, the other reason to love this novel - the protagonists and their fucked up fucked up relationship. Bian (who was Prince Ziheng in the past life) is so genuinely good. But he is that rare thing - good but not saintly, noble but not cloying. So much of the novel is his getting taken apart over and over and barely able to put himself back together every time but his soul is still as amazing as ever.

And then there is Wushe (who was Prince Zixiao in past life, Ziheng’s not-bio-related brother.) Wushe is not a good person. He is a monster. And he loves Bian/Ziheng more than his life and his soul and the entire world but he’s also the one who hurt him more than anyone else ever could and did it over and over. His love survived a literal century of torture in the worst kind of hell and refused the usual memory loss of new life. But it also humiliated and broke Ziheng down to his constituent parts.

One of the things that is so fascinating to me about this novel is the question of what can be forgiven/what should be forgiven/what kind of expiation is enough/can you ever love someone who you loved so much and then he hurt you so badly and is now repentant? And it never sweeps trauma under the rug or hand waves it away but deals with it head on.

If you want healthy relationships, you should stay far away from this novel but if intense insane ones with a feral barely human one capable of destroying the world leashed by love and guilt to the sane deeply good one is your bag, come right in.

There is also the world building and the fact that yes, the big fall out between Ziheng x Zixiao is based on not knowing all the facts but it’s not “why can’t you talk?! This is dumb!” But is totally in keeping with both events and their characters. It’s reasonable for Ziheng to do what he does and for Zixiao to misunderstand and decide Ziheng is now his biggest enemy (but still one he’s fixated on) and for Ziheng to never be able to clarify.

Anyway, once again this is trigger warning central so please heed those, but if they are no issue, this one is wonderful.

5. OK, this is hard and switches between Sha Po Lang, Heaven Official’s Blessing and The Golden Stage depending on my mood. So what the hell, I am gonna write about all of them.

Sha Po Lang - so smart and so much clever world building. There is enough politicking to satisfy a Qiang Jin Jiu fan, it’s steampunk, and our two protagonists - Gu Yun, the empire’s most powerful general, who’s loyal to the empire despite being badly wronged by it, and Chang Geng, a cursed prince with barbarian blood and horrifying childhood - are wonderful separately and together. This is a huge slow burn but it’s totally worth it! They fall in love with each other’s hearts and brains and ability as much as anything. (Yes, this is the one with the yifu thing. Gu Yun is made Chang Geng’s foster father when he rescues him and brings him back to the capital as a way to keep CG safe in imperial strife. They are 12 and 19 at the time so clearly it’s never a parental relationship.)

Heaven Official’s Blessing (TCGF) - I love it’s sprawling narrative and cast, I love its inventive setting and picaresque story. It’s hilarious and can make me cry. But the novel’s place on this list is due to Xie Lian who is part Kenshin part drama WWX part pure goodness wrapped in heartbreak and trauma wrapped in sunshine.

The Golden Stage - two smart and principled (yes, they both have principles different though they may be) men navigate their arranged marriage, their past friendship and their past break up, become a super couple (one of the healthiest danmei couples I’ve ever read and proves healthy doesn’t have to be boring), save the country and bring down the emperor or two and just generally this is my rainy day book.

I guess I didn’t write as much for the three n5 candidates as I did for 1-4 but my brain is beginning to curdle so...

#cnovel #heaven official's blessing #2ha #yuwu #sha po lang #qiang jin jiu #wu chang jie #the golden stage #tcgf #asks

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walkwithheroes84 · 3 years

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Reading Romance

Updated June 28th, 2021

I read a lot of different types of books, but I’ve never been a romance person. After watching Bridgeton, I decided to give them a try. Here are my thoughts.

Follow me on this journey.

What I’ve Liked:

- They are really quick to get through. I’ve read some 350 page books in a day.

- The plots can be crazy, which is also really fun.

- A lot of the characters are fun and the dialogue can be witty.

What I’ve Not Liked:

- I have an issue with a lot of the romances, as the men seem to sometimes force the women into uncomfortable situations.

Now, let’s talk about what I’ve read:

Bridgerton: The Duke and I by Julia Quinn:

- 2 out of 5 stars.

- I found this couple boring.

- She raped her husband, so no. He shouldn’t have lied, but that’s not an excuse to rape.

Bridgerton: It’s in His Kiss by Julia Quinn:

- 4 out of 5 stars.

- I loved the couple. There was some problems with the male lead deciding to sleep with the female lead, so she’d have to marry him, as he is not his father’s true son. But I still liked their witty dialogue and the female lead was fun.

Bridgerton: When He Was Wicked by Julia Quinn:

-2 out of 5 stars

- It’s one of everyone’s favorite books in the series, but I found this couple to be so boring. I feel like she would have been just as happy with her first husband and for the life of me, I don’t get why the guy was so into her. She was boring.

Bridgerton: An Offer From A Gentleman by Julia Quinn:

- 4 out of 5 stars.

- This book had insane energy. It was silly and fun. The man lead jumps out of a window, scales down a tree, and rushes to a cold lake because the female lead got him aroused and he was like: “Um, not now.”

- I didn’t like that Benedict was so dumb not to see that Sophie was the girl he had met three years earlier and I HATED that he kept telling her to be his mistress, even after she told him that wasn’t what she wanted for herself.

- Though the end in the jail was pure insanity and I was here for it.

First Comes Scandal by Julia Quinn:

- 2 out of 5 stars.

- While dialogue was witty and the couple was cute, I felt this one dragged on for way too long. I thought it could have been at least 100 pages shorter.

Love is Blind by Lynsay Sands:

-2 out of 5 stars.

- The plot and characters were just too simple.

The Lost Duke of Wyndham (Two Dukes of Wyndham #1) by Julia Quinn:

-4 out of 5 stars.

- I clearly have a type with couples in Julia Quinn books: they need to be fun, bicker, and have a lot of chemistry. I LOVED Jack and Grace. I loved the charm, wit, and fun of this couple.

A Hunger Like No Other (Immortals After Dark #2) by Kresley Cole

- 2 out of 5 stars

-So...while I like the idea of the world and the overall story that seems to be forming - I COULD NOT get behind the male lead basically raping the female lead throughout the book. Mostly because he hated that she is a vampire (she's actually half) and once he learns she's not a full vampire, he's just like - "My bad. Love you." And she's cool with it?! - Also, what is going on with all the erection? Because the way I read it, this man was walking around with one for 90% of the novel. I don't know, that just strikes me as very uncomfortable and slightly embarrassing..? I don't know, I'm not a man.

No Rest For The Wicked (Immortals After Dark #3) by Kresley Cole

- 3 out of 5 stars

-Kaderin is cursed or blessed with being an emotionless killing machine. Until she meets Sebastian, a vampire who hates what he is. Confused, she runs and he follows. Kaderin spends most of the novel being a bad ass bitch and Sebastian spends most of the novel discovering that he likes the way she is.

-He decides to help her and that he wants her to achieve her dream, even if it means not getting her.

-It was a fun and fast read and I ALMOST forgive Cole for the grossness of her last novel.

Wicked Deeds on a Winter’s Night (Immortals After Dark #4) by Kresley Cole

-3 out of 5 stars

- I liked this one more that A Hunger Like No Other. Maybe because Mari was a little bit tougher and stronger than Emma. Or maybe because Bowen seemed to have a better understand of boundaries.

- They were a sweet and fun couple, who didn’t really shy away from their challenges. They actually discussed issues!

- But, I have to take away a half point, because again with the whole werewolf NEEDING to claim his mate thing. With all the erections and sex every which way. It was about much for me, especially as a new romance reader. At times, I found myself thinking: “Please calm down.”

-Another thing I enjoyed was the discussions about “monsters” being people and wanting things “normal” people want.

-But, I have to add this, and it’s really more about the series as a whole: each book is about 350-360 pages and there is a looming evil throughout, but it’s not truly faced until the last 50 pages are so. I’d like this world - which is being set up to be very interesting - to be fleshed out more.

Dark Needs at Night’s Edge (Immortals After Dark #5) by Kresley Cole

- 3.5 stars out of 5

- I've now read 4 of them and have had ALOT of mixed feelings about this series. - We start with the hero, Conard: a vampire who hunts his own kind. When he drains people, he takes their memories - which has made him a bit. . .unstable. Interesting (as several have said) every male character within the story (some of whom have REALLY mistreated their wives at different times) discuss how Conard is dangerous and should be "put of his misery" and yet - he treats Néomi very well. He doesn't mistreat her and honestly tries to help her - even if it means they may not be together. - A vampire bounty hunter and a ballerina ghost somehow make a very sweet, angsty, and awesome little romance. It felt free of that "fated mate" stuff from the other novels. Yes, Conard believes that Néomi is his fated mate, but she's also dead. So, there is none of that "have to half you/will stalk you/alpha man" stuff that gets a bit old in the other novels of the series. I really enjoyed the fact that the couple didn't actually sleep together until page 200ish (out of 369). Which was actually nice, because it made me believe that they were a couple who had depth and actually loved each other because of more than being "fated mates". (Not knocking the other couples in the series, but I do sometimes feel that they actually fall for each other only toward the end of their novel.) -So over all, I liked this one. My favorite so far.

Dark Desires After Dusk (Immortals After Dark #5) by Kresley Cole

-3 out of 5 stars.

- I liked the main couple just fine - both as a couple and as individuals.

- But, I’m reading these books one after the other - usually one or even two a day - and the formula used for each book is becoming very clear: Male lead finds his fated soul mate and either denies it or goes after her. Female lead is uninterested, but can’t help be drawn to this new guy. The fight or have misunderstandings. They have sex - it’s usual oral. They have more miscommunication. The “big bad” - whose been mention throughout the novel- appears in the last 50-or-so pages. The couple defeat the “big bad”. They get married. It’s getting a bit old - even if I like the characters.

The Viscount Who Loved Me (Bridgertons #2) by Julia Quinn

-4 out of 5 stars.

- Loved the couple and their humor. A fun and quick read. I think I read it in 3 hours?

Kiss of a Demon King (Immortals After Dark #6) by Kresley Cole

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While I liked the leads as individuals, I found their relationship to be a bit too toxic for my tastes.

Never Seduce a Scot by Maya Banks

-3 out of 5 stars

-A light and fluffy read. Our ML was respectful and our FL was sweet. Just a cute morning read. Nothing overly special, but honestly far sweeter than a lot of the romances I’ve read in the last month and a half. I may forget it in a month, but I enjoyed it while I read it.

Untouchable (Immortals After Dark #7) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

-A very interesting read. Who knew you could be creative with ice? I have to admit, I really enjoy the Wroth brothers and their ladies. These men have respect and, unlike some other MLs in this series, they seem to be more willing to let their Brides take the lead.

Demon from the Dark (Immortals After Dark #9) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

-This book just worked for me. Carrow was an amazing heroine and Malcom was a sweetheart. Add in little Ruby and you have one amazing family.

Dreams of a Dark Warrior (Immortals After Dark #10) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

- Regin the Radiant is doomed to relieve her tragic love affair with the berserker Aidan the Fierce. They will meet, fall in love, she will kiss him, and he will die within 24 hours. So far, they have relived this tragic fate 4 times, and this time Regin is determined to NOT let that happen. The problem? Nix gets involved and Regin is captured by The Order - a group of humans bent on killing all Lore creatures. And one of their leaders just so happens to be Declan Chase aka Aidan.

- I loved a lot about this book, such as the way all the stories are really starting to come together and blend into one another. I also loved Regin here - she doesn't break or bend and she understands that Declan isn't a woobie in need of saving (like so many of the other women in this series) - she knows that he has been through something terrible, but she doesn't excuse his actions. It isn't until Declan shows he's trying to change that Regin accepts him.

- A really fun read and maybe my second or third favorite in the series.

Lothaire (Immortals After Dark #11) by Kresley Cole

-4 out of 5 stars

- I have very mixed feelings on this book.

- I loved Ellie - she was intelligent, forward thinking, and strong. She planned her death, twice. She understood Lothaire would come for her and made sure her family was hidden. She decided to seduce a ages old vampire in order to save herself. She often played him like a fiddle.

-But, Lothaire was a complete jerk for 85% of the novel. I get it, he's damaged and he's old and mentally unstable, blah blah blah. To be honest, he didn't make up for his misdeeds - even if he did promise to take Ellie's kid brother Trick-or-Treating. (That was weird, too. Don't make a villain/anti-hero a sudden sugary sweet brother-in-law.)

-And, how could he not see that Ellie was his Bride?! He was physically and mentally attracted to her. With the other one, they didn't seem to have anything in common, expect: we like killing.

-So while I adored the female lead and I liked certain scenes, the book felt off to me.

MacRieve (Immortals After Dark #13) by Kresley Cole

-3.5 out of 4 stars

-While I liked some aspects of the book, MacRieve was so horrible to Chloe. I understand he has past trauma and is in major need of therapy. (Like most of the men in this series.) But, he treats Chloe horribly and while Chloe has a bit of spunkiness, she is also just way too forgiving and nice.

-I also have to take away from half a point because it ends on a cliffhanger that may never be resolved!

A Rogue By Any Other Name (The Rules of Scoundrels #1) by Sarah MacLean

- 4 out of 5 stars.

-This is apparently a Hades and Persephone retelling? I can see that.

- I really enjoyed Penelope, who really just wanted a nice life, but that wasn’t to be. She just had a little too much “darkness” in her and she wouldn’t be happy with anyone but Bourne. Bourne could be a jerk, but his feelings for Penelope was great.

- The side characters who will be getting their own novels? Very excited to see them. I think this was my first Sarah MacLean and it was one I really enjoyed.

Ghost (Boston Underworld #3) by A. Zavarelli

- 3 out of 5 stars.

- I read these out of order, so there were people in this that I want to learn more about.

- This was my first mafia romance and, I believe, was my darkest book yet.

-Talia and Alexei were two very damaged people, who were still damaged together. They didn’t magically become well because of their feelings for one another. They may have healed a bit, but they were still working toward betterment at the end of the novel, and I like the realism of that.

- I read this novel in two days, and despite the darkness of the novel, I really enjoyed it. The writing style was enjoyable and I like the way characters from several different novels came into and out of the story. It’s very clear that A. Zavarelli is working on her own little universe, and I always like when authors do that.

Filthy Rich (Five Points' Mob Collection #2) by Serena Akeroyd

- 4 out of 5 stars.

- Again, read this in a couple of days.

- And again, I really enjoyed that Serena Akeroyd is making her own little universe and dropping hints about future stories.

-Inessa was an interesting character, because while sheltered and innocent, the girl was just waiting to let her inner “darker” sexuality out. I liked her a lot - she could be very innocent and sweet, but also very catty and straight forward.

- Eoghan and Inessa, despite of the large age gap, fit one another so well. They were one another’s missing pieces and they just really fit together.

The Sweetest Oblivion (Made #1) by Danielle Lori

-4 out of 5 stars.

-The chemistry between Elena and Nico was really great.

-I enjoyed Elena’s POV - she was attracted to Nico, but she also hated herself a bit for it. Not just because he was supposed to marry her sister (don’t worry, sister is in love with someone else), but also because of her own past.

- Nico was a little harder to read, because we didn’t get as much of his POV.

- Knowing that this is yet another mob series that follows several characters - who are slowly introduced in each book - makes me really excited to meet and read about more characters.

Bound by Honor (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #1) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars.

-Aria may be too good and too pure for this world. Luca’s love for her was very sweet. Aria x Luca fan.

- Enjoyable and fast pace.

-I enjoyed the way characters from future novels in the series appeared/made cameos throughout the novel.

-The main couple had a bit too much miscommunication, but they were young and dumb, so I forgive it.

Bound By Duty (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #2) by Cora Reilly

-3.5 out of 5 stars.

-I loved Val. Especially at the start of the novel when her main problem was: “I’m over 20. This is my second marriage. I’m still a virgin. I’ll be damned if I don’t have sex.”

-Dante on the other hand - he took the “Ice King” trope a bit too far. Did he truly love Valentina or was it more about protecting his children and being fond of Val? I’m sorry to sad I didn’t feel like he loved Val as much (or even in the same way) as he loved his first wife.

Bound by Hatred (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #3) by Cora Reilly

-3 out of 5 stars (maybe closer to a 2.5/2.8)

- I know that Matteo and Gianna are a lot of people’s favorites, but their bickering and Slap-Kiss dynamic got a bit old. I also found Gianna really annoying in Bound by Honor, and that didn’t change here.

Bound by Temptation (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #4) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars

- Maybe the most romantic couple? I mean, if a man is willing to start a mob war for you...come on.

Bound by Vengeance (Born in Blood Mafia Chronicles #5) by Cora Reilly

- 4 out of 5 stars.

- Maybe Growl/Ryan and Cara are a little unbalance and maybe their relationship is dark and twisted, but it works. Again, get yourself a man who is willing to start a mob war for you.

Twisted Loyalties (The Camorra Chronicles #1) by Cora Reilly

-3 out of 5 stars.

- Like Bound by Vengeance, Twisted Loyalties was a way of tying the two series together. But, I didn’t like this one all that much -

- Fabiano’s obsession with Leona (and it felt like an obsession) actually made me fear for her. Leona was “pure” and safe and reminded him of his sisters with her loyalty toward her mother. So, of course Fabiano would want to be with her. But, it was clear Leona wanted a different path for her life - especially at the start of the book.

-I’m not convinced of Fabiano’s development in this book. He still felt emotionless at the end, and I’m not sure if his love for Leona was actually love or an obsession and a need to have someone like his sisters in his life.

- Leona's innocence and naivety were fine, but she annoyed me at times. She wanted to run and I kind of wish she had made it out of Vegas. Maybe then I’d see the so-called love Fabiano had for her.

- I have to mention the Falcone brothers. We have been hearing so much about how terrible their family is. Here we saw them from Leona and Fabiano’s POVs, and they were just as crazy as promised. Nino, no emotions? Interesting. Remo, a true psychotic. Savio, he’s a child, so his “adult” situations made me uncomfortable. Protect Adamo!

Twisted Emotions (The Camorra Chronicles, #2) by Cora Reilly

-4.5 out of 5 stars

- Nino and Kiara were really cute. Maybe the sweetest couple I’ve read by Cora Reilly. I didn’t care for his cheating, though I get why he did it. I just didn’t like it/find it was needed. And, I wanted/needed more chapters from his POV, because it felt like Nino fell in love too quickly. I want to read their next book.

-Nino is supposed to be "emotionless”, having “turned off” his emotions due to childhood trauma. (This was told to me 1000x in the novel, btw). BUT he tries so hard to be sweet and considerate of Kiara. He buys her a piano! He understands her past trauma and tries (in his own way) of being respectful and protective toward her - even standing up to Remo! He follows Kiara’s lead and it’s actually very sweet.

-Kiara is one of the strongest female leads in this series. Yes, she was scared of men - especially Remo - but that is understandable considering what she lived through. She needed to be protected and I liked that she was able to heal, but she wasn’t completely healed in the end - she still had a ways to go. And, her friendship with Adamo was the cutest thing. They were so sweet with one another! And honestly, despite his ‘I don’t like you or what you’ve done to Nino’ attitude - Remo and Kiara are headed toward brother/sister territory.

Twisted Pride (The Camorra Chronicles, #3) by Cora Reilly

-4 out of 5 stars

-So...Remo is in major need of intense therapy. Like, years of intense therapy and I’m not 100% convinced that Serafina didn’t suffer from Stockholm Syndrome. But, as Serafina muses - she and Remo have a twisted love for one another. It’s clearly not 100% healthy, but it works for them. Serafina is allowed to be herself with him and Remo pulls back (a bit) from his destructive behaviors with her.

-Remo...who knew he could be such a family man? Like, you could tell, when he started to fall for Serafina. He slowly started to try and be a bit of a better person. That scene where they got married? And it was just his brothers, Kiara, Fabiano, and the babies - and Remo said it was fine, because it was just the people that matter? Sweet.

-Serafina stood up for herself and didn’t let Remo phase her (well, not as much as he wanted to) and I loved that. She was strong, self-assured, and she wanted more out of life than what the Outfit was willing to give her.

-Speaking of the Outfit - um, why did they not believe Serafina when she stated - several times - that what they think happened with Remo wasn’t actually what happened? Why did her father and brother treat two BABIES like trash? And they tortured Adamo - a fifteen year old child!

Twisted Bonds (The Camorra Chronicles, #4) by Cora Reilly

-4 out of 5 stars

- I was disappointed to see that 60% of this novel was just Twisted Pride from Nino and Kiara’s POV.

- I feel like this one was not as well written as the past novels in the series. I saw a lot of typos and things didn’t always flow well. That said - I really do love Nino and Kiara.

Twisted Hearts (The Camorra Chronicles #5) by Cora Reilly

-2 out of 5 stars

-So, Savio loses all his character development in this novel and Gemma deserves better.

Devil in Winter (Wallflowers #3) by Lisa Kleypas

- 4 out of 5 stars

- I loved Evie and Sebastian. I am reading this out of order, so while I knew Sebastian was the villain of the last book - he was so perfect with Evie here. Is it cliche that the “bad boy” has spent his whole life waiting for the sweet and strong girl - yes. But, did I love it? Also yes.

The Secret Diaries of Miss Miranda Cheever (Bevelstoke #1) by Julia Quinn

-4 out of 5 stars

- Very sweet and fun friends to lovers romance.

One Good Earl Deserves a Lover (The Rules of Scoundrels #2) by Sarah MacLean

- 4 out of 5 stars

-I know people had issues with Pippa, but I sort of always assummed she was on the spectrim. Cross was really fun - especially when he became so annoyed with Pippa, because she was different and just lived her life.

To Seduce a Sinner (Legend of the Four Soldiers #2) by Elizabeth Hoyt

-2.5 out of 5 stars

-While I enjoyed the writing style, I couldn’t totally love the couple. Japer falls for Melisande, because she’s proper and “not like other girls” or something.Melisande has loved Jasper for 6+ years, but refuses to admit it - even after she marries him and it’s clear he wants a real marriage. Eh.

-I’ll read more from the author, but I didn’t enjoy this one.

The King's Spinster Bride (Aspect and Anchor #0.5) by Ruby Dixon

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While the world building was well done, there weren’t any issues between the couple. He really loved her- he worked his way up to becoming First Warrior for her. She loved him, but was nervous because she was “old”. (She’a 33 and he’s 24). There was also some worry about marriage stuff, but over all, it was just a little read that was neither terrible nor memorable.

Neon Gods (Dark Olympus #1) by Katee Robert

-3 out of 5 stars

-While I enjoyed the main characters, the world building was poorly done. i did like a lot of the supporting characters and hope they get their own books.

Brutal Prince (Brutal Birthright #1) by Sophie Lark

-2 out of 5 stars (DNF’ed at 40%)

-People have been telling me to read Sophie Lark since March, so I picked this up on audio book. The writing is fairly good (though there are some issues with the mafia aspects), but it was the characters that made me DNF this novel.

-First: you have Aida’s family (she’s 20 and her brothers are all older (I think?) and they all decide to crash the party of a family they hate. Why? They are grown people! Aida causes a fire in the house and steals a pocket watch. And...the two families decide they should get married. Again, why...? Just pay for the damage. Since one of the sons was injured: agree to something for that.

-Second: Aida is 20. She’s also VERY immature. She plays tricks on Callum. (She actually eats a strawberry before kissing him - he’s very allegic to them). She curses and talks about how she’s a “tomboy” and how she hates the family she marries into. She’s a fairly horrible, immature, and bratty young womn. I just couldn’t root for her.

-Third: Callum is 30. He’s 30 and acts like a horny teenager. I listen to the male narrtator discuss sex and p*s*y over and over again. While Aida is verbally and physically harmful toward Callum, Callum is physically and emotionally abusive toward Aida.

-Fourth: Two toxic, immature people do not a rootable couple make. I couldn’t stand these two people and was annoyed the whole time I listened to the audio.

-Fifth: I think I would like to read more from the auhor,but this novel REALLY wasn’t for me.

Bad Guy by Ruby Dixon

-1 out of 5 stars

-This should have been half its size. There was noreal development between characters. Eh.

The Bully (Kingmakers #3) by Sophie Lark

- 4 out of 5 stars

-I read this one first, because so many people said it was the best of the series. I hadn’t like Brutal Prince at all, but I loved this one.

-Seeing the development of Dean and Cat was fun. Was Dean actually really childish for a 20+ (I’m guessing he’s 20-21), but I got it.

-Cat was great. I understand a lot of people found her “boring” in book 2, but it’s very clear that she was just waiting for someone or something to let her out of her shell.

-I’m really looking forward to book 4, as that was set up nicely.

Stolen Heir (Brutal Birthright #2) by Sophie Lark

-3 out of 5 stars

-While I liked Nessa a lot - I wasn’t totally sold on the romance.

Deviant King (Royal Elite #1) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars.

-While I find Aiden toxic, I cannot deny the chemistry between Aiden and Elsa. I don’t like that she gave in to him so quickly - especially as he had made her life horrible for the last three years - but I can forgive it, as this is a “bully” romance.

-The mystery is interesting, as are the hints of future stories with other characters.

-And, where are the adults!?

Steel Princess (Royal Elite #2) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars

-Now that Aiden has a POV, we can see that he is connected to Elsa’s past. I like that aspect, as well as Aiden trying to win Elsa over.

-And her dead dad is alive?!

-Also, I love Knox.

Twisted Kingdom (Royal Elite #3) by Rina Kent

-2 out of 5 stars.

-While I enjoyed the way the mystery was wrapped up, I’m not totally in love with it. It closed what happenedto both Aiden and Elsa, but it left a few doors opened and really doesn’t paint their fathers in the best lights.

Black Knight (Royal Elite #4) by Rina Kent

-3 out of 5 stars.

-Getting into Kim’s head (and seeing the emotional and mental abuse she suffered at the hands of her mother) made me so sad.

- What was worse is that she was basically abandoned for EIGHT years and bullied by said ex-friends during that time because of a misunderstanding. Yes, they were eleven, but why couldn’t Xander have confronted his dad or Kim’s dad or someone during that time? Why did he have to be horrible to her at every turn? And let others do the same? And, why was he still hanging out with Kir -? I understand that he was looking out for Kim and Kir and that he still loved her (and that this is geared more toward readers in their late teens/early 20s), but - come on!

-Kim forgave Xander way too easily (a trend in this series), and I was a bit uncomfortable with the fact that right after the big secret was out, Xander decided that he wasn’t “holding back” anymore and that he would be with Kim. Like - shouldn’t you go to therapy?

-I liked the characters and some of their interactions (and those building hints for the rest of the series), but I ended the book truly believing all these characters need massive amounts of therapy.

Vicious Prince (Royal Elite #5) by Rina Kent

-2 out of 5 stars.

-Gone is the carefree Ronan of past stories. Here is the “fake smile” Ronan that has carefully been hidden for the last ten years.

-Teal’s master plan of revenge is what drives her, but only for about 20% of the novel. What was interesting was what we were told: she likes men at least 15 years older than her and she enjoys (or believes she would enjoy) some very kinky stuff.

-(Side note: I’m sorry, but - the 17/18 year olds have access to the records of their parents’ sex club? Where are the adults? Yes, it’s explained that the club only takes members who are 18+, but no.)

-Despite protests that he hates her, Ronan falls for Teal, like 20% into the book? And after having sex once - she loves him back? I know this is a series LIGHT on character development, but...what? Yesterday I could barely stand you and today I want us to be together for ever?

-And, we get another childhood tramua story, which played out WAY too fast and was wrapped up WAY to easily.

-I liked Ronan during the other books and Teal could have been really complex, but we got what we got.

18 notes · View notes

lightskinrry · 4 years

Text

maybe one wedding for the bad boys

the one where the wedding ceremony does go according to the plan...almost

A/N: hello lovelies!! part two of no wedding for the bad boys is here!! hope you like it!! and don’t hesitate to lemme know your thoughts about this mess!

Word count : 6K

TW: angst again lmaodehjsd

Taglist: @stfxlou @shreeyanshi @harrystylesholland @iloveshawnieboi @smoljules @soy-una-conejo @seasidecrowbar @evalynanne @nibabyy @la-cey @ashtonsfxvorite @merlinaes @gucciboots

“Fuck… Fuck. Fuck.” You watched Harry pacing around in his room, walking in circles, his hand clutched to his hair, his suit pants loosely hanging on his hips and his unbuttoned shirt draped on his shoulders.

You could see he was muttering something. “I fucking can’t believe this. Fucking kidding me. On this fucking day. Fucking shit.”

“Look… If you’re going to be an asshole about it like yesterday. I will find a solution alone.”

You were sitting on the big chair in the corner, your legs spread apart and your yellow suit on. You didn’t want another fight but you had no choice but to tell Harry about the marriage license. Today was the big day and in 3 hours the ceremony would start. And if he was going to sign another marriage licence, he could face imprisonment since bigamy is illegal. So yeah, kinda had to tell him otherwise he was good to spent his honeymoon in a cell.

He groaned a little bit, you could almost see the gears of his brain working through his head. “Let’s...um… think, okay?” His breathing was unsteady so you got up and made him sit at your place.

“I already contacted a lawyer. We can annul the marriage, we just have to prove the marriage is..um… voidable. Yeah, that’s what she told me.” Harry sat back in the chair, relaxing a little bit. “So we have to prove that at least one of us couldn’t agree to the marriage because they were under the influence of drugs or alcohol.” He nodded silently. “Basically, we just have to go see the lawyer and that’s done. There’s no court appearance or anything.”

His eyes got softer as he listened to you. He sighed. “Thanks.”

You raised your eyebrows. “You’re welcome?”

“Look, Y/N… I’m really sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to be such a jerk about all this. It’s just… I’ve been planning this wedding for months now. I’m so fucking stressed. I don’t know what to do and then I found out I just fucked up everything. I’m sorry. I know it’s not your fault. I’m more mad at myself than anything and I just didn’t want to take accountability for my actions. It’s just such a fucking weird time and now everything is on the edge of falling apart.”

You gently stroked his shoulders. “Thank you for apologizing. I know you didn’t mean it… Look, it’s not entirely your fault. There was a lot of alcohol and we wouldn’t have been in Vegas if it wasn’t for me.” You took a small breath. “But, hey! We can fix this. All we have to do is annul the marriage and make sure you don’t sign anything in terms of legally binding documents or you can actually be prosecuted. And spending your honeymoon in jail isn’t what you want.”

He giggled softly, finally taking a breath and releasing a bit of tension. “Yeah, definitely not. I reserved a private beach in St Barth, there is no way I’m spending this time in jail instead of on the beach.”

“Oh wow. You went all in.” You smiled smugly at him. “Okay we have about 2 hours before the ceremony starts. I made sure the groomsmen get their shit together and do the list of check-ins with the planner so it’s a full open window before we have to get you back here fully dressed and looking fresh for your wedding.”

“If we can do that in two hours without being on crack, we truly are some lucky motherfuckers.”

“Oh we are, Harry. We’re lucky motherfuckers.”

He got up from the chair and you placed your hands over his shoulders. “Here’s the plan. We put on jogging clothes cause you don’t want anyone to recognize you or be suspicious. We go downtown to meet with the lawyer, we pressure her to state the annulment today. It will be sent to a judge for approbation and then the annulment should be fulfilled in about a month. And that’s where you come into play more than ever. You have to make sure the officiant don’t bring the marriage licence, say you want to sign it after your honeymoon, find an excuse, whatever you want to make sure you don’t sign this fucking paper, okay? And then we come back here, get you dressed and you go get married, you lucky motherfucker.”

He nodded agreeingly. “Okay.” He reached out his hand for you to shake. “And no-one will never know about all this.”

You shook his hand. “Taking this shit with me in the grave.”

You started changing rapidly into the sports clothes and leave as soon as possible. You made your way downstairs quietly but Tania’s sister, maid of honor and witness in the wedding, stopped the two of you.

“Where are you two going?”

You and Harry looked at each other for a second, trying to think of something that wouldn’t rise suspicions.

“Well, we’re going for a jog. As you can see.” You pointed out the clothes you were wearing.

“The ceremony is in two hours, no-one is going for a jog.” Her tone was stern and almost mean.

Harry came a little forward to her. “Look, Jill, I just need a breather. It’s a stressful time so… You know? Taking my best-woman on a jog before the big thing!”

She sighed loudly, annoyed. “Fine… But make sure to be back before the ceremony begins. A wedding without a groom... It would kill Tania.”

You both gave her a thumbs up and a dumb smile before running out the door.

The clock was ticking on you. And you had to get that annulment.

***

You closed up Harry’s last few buttons, making sure to leave some open. You took a few steps back to look at him. You smiled proudly. “You look great.”

He gave you a smug look. “I know.”

You laughed off his little narcissistic comment. “You know what? You look like a victorian vampire wannabe.”

“And I’m rocking the look.” He shrugged before tugging on one of his loose curl to make it fall on his face. He stepped closer to you. “Thank you.” You smiled at him tenderly. “Thank you so much for being a good friend, Y/N. I know I’ve been a terrible one lately.”

You chuckled as you pinched his cheeks in a playful way. “We’re cool, Harry. Now, let’s move before Jill kills us.”

You accompanied him to the backyard where the ceremony was about to start. He stood next to the officiant, waiting for his bride to walk the aisle. And as you watched him, glowing in the sunlight, looking beautiful and smitten, you felt a pinch in your heart and bitterness in your throat. Not that you wish it was you walking down the aisle, just that he would turn around and give you a last look that says “I don’t want to get married to her, I want to wait with you until we’re both ready.” Well, in some way, you guessed you kinda wished it was you walking down the aisle. Just.. not right now.

“Are you okay?” Gemma was standing next to you, a tender smile on her face.

“Yeah, I’m good… I’m.. you know… emotional. That’s all.”

The music started blaring in the air, the golden hour slowly approaching and bathing everything in a pool of honey. You could hear the birds chirping and the soft breeze caressing your neck, people shushing each other waiting for the bride to be announced. The air was soft and you could feel the tenderness of the atmosphere. A gentle springtime warmth and the smell of lavender. Harry’s shadow was dancing on the floor as he was waiting, chewing on his bottom lip; a little nervous thing well known to him.

You watched Tania walk down the aisle, you couldn’t bare to look at him and see the love in his eyes. A love that wasn’t yours and wasn’t for you.

She joined him in front of the officiant, ready to exchange their words of love and become one forever. You tugged on the jacket of your suit to readjust it. You listened carefully to the vows they shared and watch them place the ring on each others fingers. And you smiled widely all the way through. You made sure the officiant didn’t bring the marriage licence after Harry tipped him a little extra not to. You closed your eyes for a second and when you opened them, Harry was kissing his bride, now his wife.

The first half of the ceremony went pretty fast, the newly weds went to get their pictures done and the rest of y’all entertained the guests and showed them around the manor where the party would be. Obviously some parts were closed to the public, the upstairs apartment where the weds would spend the night were closed and the maze in the far back of the garden was too. It was huge and we were scared people would lose their kids in there.

When Harry and Tania came back, looking stunning, kissed by the sunlight and insanely in love, they walked in the huge reception hall where everyone was waiting to cheer on them. And make them feel like real superstars.The tables for the dinner were outside, next to a beautiful lake, it was still warm and the sun was about to set. Everyone sat down at their designated place. The time for toasts and speeches was coming. First Tania’s dad did his little speech about not liking Harry at first but realising that he’s never seen his daughter so happy. Next was Tania’s sister, Jill who made a sly comment about him trying to sneak out of it this morning. Gemma was next and she gave a prompt little joke about her baby brother before congratulating the beautiful spouses. It was now your turn. You took a deep breath and stood up, you looked around, checking the faces only for your gaze to rest upon Harry.

“Ahem. Well, as most of you already know me, I’m Y/N. I’m the best-woman, it’s always been a fact; I’m just glad that I have the official title now. I didn’t really know what to do or where to go with this speech so I guess I’m just gonna check on y’all. Is everyone having a good time?” Everyone gave you a cheerful yes. “Great, cause the next five minutes are going to be absolute hell. I’m mostly just going to make fun of Harry and then I’ll swap some emotional shit by the end so you guys don’t hate me.”

You paused, leaving the time for the guests to spare you a giggle. “First of all, I would like to say, you made the worst choice of your entire life tonight, Harry.” His eyes got suddenly bigger. “You gave me a mic, and a chance to ridicule you in front of all your family and friends.” You watched him take a breath, relaxing in his chair and giving you a tender smile. “That’s really the dumbest shit you could’ve done. But anyway, I have to address a few words to today’s main man. I can honestly say that he’s one of the most handsome, most funny men you’ll ever meet and I’m proud to call him my friend. So if you bump into him today…” You turned your face to look around. “Where’s Cam?” Cam stood up and waved, cheering you. “Ah! Here he is! Today is his birthday so please buy him a drink.” You waved back at him with a big smile. “Happy birthday Cam!” Everyone said happy birthday and Harry’s smile got wider.

“Well, I was thinking what crazy story I could tell about Harry today. Cause we had so many crazy ass stories together, ones that end up in basements, others on top of roofs and some ending in crappy ass motel rooms in Vegas.” He chew the interior of his cheek, holding a giggle. “And then I thought ‘What is the story that sums up perfectly Harry?’ Could it be that time he bit off a piece of his tongue after jumping out a window while high off his ass on shrooms or that time we got locked up in a hotel room in Atlanta and somehow managed to burn the carpet? Yeah… We fucking burned that carpet.” You let a breathy laugh escape your lips, reminiscing that night.

“So, I had to think long and hard about this… Long and hard also being something Harry… Well no, I promised I wasn’t going to say anything sexual during this speech.” You turned to look at the next table. “Hi Anne! This is Harry’s mom, guys!” She laughed and gave you a big smile.

“Well, then I remembered that story… It was after Harry’s SNL double duty.. And we were throwing this after party to celebrate and by the end of the night, we were both hammered, there was no-one left in that penthouse in NYC, except for us and then fucking Rocketman started playing outta nowhere and we sang that shit with our hearts, as the sun rose behind us. And despite all the glamour, Harry ended up throwing up in the bathroom. But just that moment of drunken glory singing Rocketman at the top of our lungs with the sun rising. And nothing else mattered. In that moment, Harry was the fucking Rocketman.”

You took a moment to breath.

“And you are. You’re a fucking legend, Harry. I’ve known you since we were five, from the first time you sang in front of your mom to you touring arenas around the world. I kinda been a witness of your greatness, I guess… Truth is, the moments I’ll remember the most and the ones that makes you such a good friend, and probably an amazing husband, are the ones when the lights are off, when you’re just a dorky, lanky stupid white guy. When you bring me soup when I’m sick, when you tell me everything will be alright when I’m about to give up, when you scream Bohemian Rhapsody in the phone, when we dance at 2AM in the kitchen or when we sing Rocketman as the sun rise.” You took a little breath, watching as Harry gave you the biggest grin, probably a little teary-eyed.

“Well, I’d still like to remind y’all that he threw up that night, and many other nights actually.” You laughed.

“But hey, I’d like to finish by addressing a few words to the beautiful bride... You still have time to run away. But if I were you, I wouldn’t do so. He reserved a private beach in St. Barts… Run after the honeymoon, girl, get yours.” You winked at her.

“All jokes aside, I hope this day has been as beautiful and fairy-tale like as you dreamed it would be because you look like a princess and I’m glad you found your prince. I hope you guys live happily ever after.”

You started raising your glass as the end of your speech approached. “I’ll end this little speech by saying on behalf of the beautiful bridesmaids and groomsmen, thank you to Harry and Tania for including us on this very special day. And if I could ask you all to join me in a toast.” You were now holding your glass up. “To the happy couple, Harry and Tania, may you live a beautiful wedded life!”

Everyone joined you in the toast and you sat back down, giving Harry a small grin that he gave you right back, letting you know that you did a great speech.

The party started going well, people were chatting and laughing and the beautiful lights lit up the garden. The food came a little late but it was all so good, there was nothing to really complain about.

After the main course, people got up to dance and request songs to the band… You were talking with one of the waiters when Tania interrupted you.

“Hey, have you seen Harry? I can’t find him anywhere and the cake is going to arrive any minute now and we’re supposed to cut it together.” Her sharp tone made you uncomfortable.

“Hm… I haven’t seen him but I’m gonna check around and I’ll make sure he’ll be here for the cutting of the cake!”

“Fine. You better find him fast.” You watched her leave and greet some old couple drinking champagne.

You thought for a second ‘where the fuck could Harry be?’. You started by checking on his family, not being too pressuring so they wouldn’t worry. None of them saw him in the last half hour. You asked Jeff and then check with the waiters and still no sight of him.

You decided to go check inside; the bathroom, the upstairs apartments… And you found him in the closed office on last floor of the manor. You walked in quietly and closed the door behind you.

“Everyone is looking for you, man. What the fuck are you doing?”

He was leaned on the open window, watching the night sky.

“Yeah, what the fuck am I doing, Y/N?” He was playing with the only ring on his fingers : his wedding ring.

You stepped closer, placing yourself right next to him, your arm touching his.

“That’s what I’m asking you.”

He scoffed softly. “Yeah… I just… What if all of this is a fucking mistake?”

“Whew.. You’re having cold feet now? You’re always late to the party…” You watched him as he giggled, his hair gently flowing with the midnight breeze.

“Look, it’s not a mistake if you love her. And I know you do.”

“You know Jill followed us this morning? She literally threatened me that she knows what’s going on and…”

“Wait what?”

“Yeah. That crazy bitch followed us.” He threw his arm in the air.

“Hey… Be nice, she’s not crazy. She’s just a bitch. Why in hell did she follow us?”

“Because she was having suspicions I was cheating so she followed us and saw us going to the law cabinet.”

“Fuck. So she knows about the marriage?”

“No, I don’t think so… But like… About this marriage, the one of today, I don’t want it… You were right. I don’t want to get married to miss Boring Pants.”

“Oh no… Oh hell no… Why is that happening right now? You have to be downstairs in 10 so you can cut your fucking wedding cake and you’re hitting me with the ‘I don’t want to be married’ shit? Harry I swear to god…” You sighed loudly and he gave you the puppy dog eyes.

“Don’t blame me! I’m just a little boy.” He always had the timing for a good joke.

“Oh… I’m blaming you. I’m blaming your dumbass.” You both laughed and suddenly it wasn’t the sky you were watching, it was each other. The stars were reflecting in his eyes and his floppy curls made him look so pretty.

“I know… It’s not like there is no-one else to blame anyway!” He chuckled and you gazed fondly at him, tracing his features with your eyes… From his jawline to his eyebrows, finally looking at his lips.

“You know your speech was great… It reminded me of all the crazy things we did together. You’re my partner in crime.” He stared into your eyes for a minute, his teeth playing nervously with his bottom lip.

“Yeah… We always been partners in crime.”

And in the floating moment of silence between you two, the space between your face got smaller and smaller; so small you could feel his breath on your face.

“I really want to be with you.” He whispered on your lips before his hand grabbed your face so he could kiss you. It was intense and soft and somehow you felt like your feet lift up from the ground. You were holding his hands on your face and slowly opened your lips but before your tongues could meet, a voice from the hallway resonated: “Harry, Y/N, what are you guys doing? They’re waiting for the cake!!”

Jeff’s footsteps were getting closer to the door and so, ended prematurely your kiss. You inhaled deeply and before Jeff walked in the room, you locked eyes with Harry and his swollen lips and a blissful smile on his face.

“They’re waiting on you, Harry! Get your ass down, right now!”

You watched him leave the room silently, still a little shook from what just happened.

Jeff stroked your arm in a soft way. “Are you good?”

“Yeah… I’m.. Great. Everything’s great. So great. What a great wedding.”

You walked off still rambling about how great everything was. Jeff watched you leave, a confused and amused look on his face. He followed behind you closely as you walked back downstairs.

You walked straight to your seat, making sure to grab a glass of champagne from one of the waiter’s platter and chugged it down in one stroke before sitting down. Harry and Tania were standing in front of all their guests and they announced the cake. Two waiters came out with a cart and on it; a huge white cake with pink roses all over it. It was more pretty than it probably tasted good. They held the knife together and cut the first piece. They both took a spoonful of the cake and gave each other a taste. Everyone was clapping as they wiped the cream off of their face.

The waiters started serving the cake to all the guests. You were pretty much blacking out, the lights around you were flying and everytime someone talked to you, you would just nod or laugh. Every now and then you would catch Harry’s gaze on you and you’d feel your cheeks burning. It was a weird feeling, being at the wedding of your bestfriend and resenting every minute of it. How did you got to this mess?

You made the movie in your head. You met Harry in kindergarten, after he stole your favorite crayon and you almost beat his shit up. The school called both your moms because the teacher saw you two fighting and from there you wouldn’t let each other live. You spent most of elementary school together, doing stupid science experiment in the back of his Holmes Chapel room. You two would always buy and wear the worst graphic tees at the same time. Then, in middle school people started bullying you and Harry would always stand up to them and defend you. You would play video games in your basement and watch each other’s acne break out and he even came to the dentist with you for your first braces. In 9th grade, when you were reaching your dreadful 14th birthdays, it seemed all that mattered was you never had a first kiss, neither you or him. So you decided to take the matter in your own hands and during one of your recurring sleepovers at his place, you suggested to give each other a first kiss. You climbed onto his bed and hid under the covers, a flashlight and some potato chips between us; he leaned onto your face and kinda sucked your lips in the weirdest way and you thought it was great.

And tonight it was great, and maybe it’s the nostalgia or maybe it’s the fact that looking back to everything you did together showed you that no-one will ever know you better and love you better. One of the common mistakes you’ve made in love was considering romantic love as a superior kind of love when your friendships always sustained you more than any romance. And now it was becoming clear, friendship was a strong love, your friendship with Harry was a very strong love; filled with intimacy and commitment and now passion. It was the kind of love you couldn’t let go.

You avoided Harry for most of the night despite him trying to check up on you a few times; you would pretend someone’s calling you or that you have to go to the bathroom; really anything that would put off the conversation with him. How were you supposed to discuss what happened now that you knew how you feel about him? It was a predictable heart-suicide.

The rest of night went achingly slow. It was already 4:30 in the morning. You were going around helping the waiters clearing the place and cleaning. Harry and Tania were saying goodbye to the last guests to leave while Gemma and Jill were showing their rooms to the guests that were staying the night.

You made a last round to the kitchen to pay the caterer and tip a little extra the waiters. When you came back to the garden, Tania and Jill were going back inside and Harry was nowhere to be seen.

You walked around, watching the night sky and the stars reflecting on the lake. You sinked into the garden as the darkness of the night was washing over and the lights of the party were fading… Your eyes got caught by a soft and dim light in the far background of the garden. There; a weeping willow with light strings on its branches and underneath it, Harry was sitting alone, playing with the twigs under him. You walked up to him and quietly sat next to him. You didn’t look at him but the night was warm and the tree branches dancing to the breeze made the atmosphere softer.

“So…” You paused as you brought your knees back to your chest. “That was a beautiful wedding.”

“Yeah.” He closed his eyes and inhaled deeply. “I’m trying to picture what my life will look like.”

“Hm… I see a nice house on the hills and a few babies.” You still didn’t take a look at him, you were just watching the sky reflection in the pond of water in front of you.

“Sounds good… I can see it.” A giggle left his mouth. “What about you? What do you see for the future?”

“Oh shit. That’s some existential dread right there cause I don’t know. I can’t tell you where I’ll be in two weeks. Can’t even tell you what I’ll eating for breakfast tomorrow morning.”

He scoffed. “That sounds good too.”

“I guess so… I love not knowing, I guess. I love a good adventure.”

“So do I…” He turned his face to look at you. “Do you think I’m out of adventures now?”

You finally locked eyes with him; his face was softly lit by the lights in the trees and he looked a little tired. “Nah.. I don’t think so. I think you have plenty new adventures coming your way.”

He sighed and turned his eyes away from you. “They won’t be with you though.”

It took you by surprise. No they won’t. You felt a sore feeling in your throat. You took some time to answer. “No… They won’t be.”

A moment of silence filled up the air. You could hear the breeze and the water.

Harry finally spoke up. “Should we talk about it?”

A breathy and nervous laugh stifled through your teeth. “About what?”

“What happened in the office earlier?” He raised his eyebrows at you in a smug way. “When you kissed me?”

“First of all, you kissed me!”

His voice went up two octaves higher as he playfully answered. “Did I?”

“Yeah you did!”

“It was nice…” He said this so nonchalantly, as if it was nothing, as if it didn’t mess up with your mind.

“It was nice? It was mostly the dumbest shit you’ve done tonight. And you got fucking married tonight so...”

He chuckled… “I know…” He took a deep breath before gazing far ahead. “What are we supposed to do about all this?”

You sighed softly, trying to come up with an answer. You thought that being a good friend you should tell him that it was a mistake and that he’s happily married and will live a beautiful life and so will you… But it wasn’t the truth.

“Look… I don’t know. I don’t know what the fuck happened in those last weeks. I fucking wish I could tell you that everything is on track, that you married the love of your life and that everything will be okay but it feels like a lie. When I say it at loud, I hear myself and I hate it.”

He pinched his lips as he listened to you...“Yeah… I mean, we’ve known each other for 20 years. 20 years, that’s a fucking lifetime. And I can tell that everytime something in my life goes wrong, you’re right there and when something goes right, you’re always there too. I try to think of what I want my life to look like, what’s next and now I’m faced with what’s next and it’s not what I want... It’s not you.”

“That’s some bullshit, isn’t it? How nobody else will ever know you better than I do? And nobody knows me like you do? And how close we are and suddenly our closeness is tearing us apart. That’s some tragic poetry shit right there, I hate it. I always thought you and I would be like 70; making wheelchair races and talking shit about the neighbors wig. And now, I think that’s what I want, you know but I also want to…”

He interrupted you. “I would win the races, though.”

“Huh?”

He insisted, a smug smile on his face. He was trying to break the tension.

“I would win the race.”

You laughed at his face. “No, you wouldn’t! I would beat your ass every time.”

He let a soft chuckle leave his mouth. “Yeah you would….”

He sighed before picking up the conversation again.

“Anyway…” He took a deep breath. “I want that too. But I also want to kiss you and dance with you and fuck you and do all the next crazy shit with you. I want to live those adventures with you.”

Your heart fluttered and you felt a warm rush get to your cheeks. And you felt like everything was falling into places. You and him together; it made sense. But then reality hit you in the face; he had a wife waiting for him a few miles away, he had a new life in LA and you had to move on or none of you would be happy. Because the truth was, if it wasn’t for each other being in the way, he would be next to Tania right now, happy and ready for his married life. And you would be in love with someone else, someone you can have.

“Maybe we’re just standing in the way of each other’s happiness. Maybe all this don’t mean a thing…” You paused to look at him. “You’re happy, right?”

He looked confused for a second, he bat his eyelashes twice trying to understand what you mean and then you saw it on his face. He got you. “Yeah.. I mean I thought I was, at least…”

“You see! That’s what I mean. If I wasn’t there, you wouldn’t be second guessing everything.”

He was quiet, his voice was down. It was hard reading him right now but you could tell he knew the answers. “Maybe… Would you?”

“What?” You asked yourself what did he mean with this question?

“Would you second guess if it was for me?”

That was it. He understood it. Being in the way of each others happiness, that was it. You thought for a second, if you were in his situation, what would you do? Would you go back to your spouse or would you leave with him? Would you even think about it?

“I don’t know… I probably shouldn’t.”

He swallowed the gulp in his throat and suddenly the air got colder. “I guess that says it all, then.”

You inhaled deeply, trying to hold back tears that were slowly taking over.. “So, that’s it?”

He smiled with all the tenderness known to him. “I love you, Y/N.”

Your heart broke a little… It was a goodbye more than an I love you. So you told him goodbye too. “I love you too.”

He got up and brushed over his pants to sweep off the twigs off him. You looked at him, still sitting down.“We should just do what’s best for each other.”

He gazed down at you, a sad smile on his face. “For a second I thought we’d run away together but…” He coughed softly. “We both know that’s not what’s best.”

You tried to steady your breathing and keep your composure as you started getting up too. You turned around for a second and gave him a last look before leaving. “I guess I’ll see you around...”

***

Weirdly enough life without Harry was bearable… London seemed empty and the bars and places you used to hang out to seemed lifeless but it wasn’t all bad. You weren’t worrying about him or about yourself and you were just going along with your routine, your job, seeing your friends, a few dates and whatever else in between. It has been 10 months since the wedding day, almost a year if you round it, you haven’t seen Harry in that time, a few check up texts every 3 months and a congrats for your new job was all you got from him… You had to convince yourself it was enough.

You were laying down on your couch, wrapped up in your jog pants and oversized hoodie; you were switching channels trying to find something remotely interesting to fall asleep to. It was already 11PM and the city lights outside the window were reflecting on the floor of your living room… Your phone rang next to you and you grasped it to check your notifications.

Harry sent a message: I did something stupid

You were confused as fuck at this weirdly threatening text from Harry. It’s been months since he texted you so what did that mean?

You heard a knock that you thought was the TV until it got louder so you got up to check on it. You walked to the door carefully. When you opened it, your heart missed a beat.

“Hey… Told you I did something stupid.”

Harry was standing at your door, a cheeky smile on his face and you were just looking at him, confused.

“What are you doing here?”

He inhaled in a smile. “Doing what’s best, I guess…” You tilted your head to the side, trying to understand what he meant. “Look, you don’t have to let me in but if I’m not going to be with you then I just don’t want to be with anyone else. I’m not asking you to elope with me… Again…” He chuckled and you let a giggle fall from your lips. “I just wanna be friends again.”

You just couldn’t get that stupidly happy grin off your face so when he stepped closer to you, reducing the space between your faces, you just grabbed his face and kissed him. You could feel him smile against your lips and his hands grabbed your waist pulling you even closer. “I guess we’re just doing what’s best, huh?” You giggled into his mouth and he kissed the corner of your lips, smiling against your skin; “That’s exactly what we’re doing.” He pressed a soft kiss to your lips and to your cheek and your jaw. Whatever was happening right now was the best for you and for him, so you’d just work out the details later.

#harry styles #harry styles writings #harry styles imagine #harry styles smut #harry styles oneshot #harry styles fluff #harry styles angst #harry styles blurbs #harry styles drabbles #harry styles fanfiction #writings #fanfiction #fanfic #nwftbb #mowftbb

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hermannsthumb · 4 years

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ooh haunted house and hayride? or maybe... haunted hayride? is that even a thing haha

3. Haunted House + 25. Hayride

from autumn fic prompts here

i am in SUCH a fall/halloween mood!!!! it’s getting chilly already where i am baby, im ready. this is loosely based on a haunted hayride attraction that was popular back in my hometown (thought it might actually be more widespread). unfortunately i was too much of a wimp to ever do it so im going off of my 15 year old sister’s account of it :/

-----------------------------------------

“If you get scared, you can hold my hand,” Newton says.

He extends his right hand out to Hermann and wriggles his fingers. Hermann turns away with a snort, tucking one of his own mittened hands into the pocket of his parka. “Mm. I don’t think that’s going to happen.”

“I’m just saying,” Newton says. “I’m here if you need me.”

Hermann wonders whether Newton is being facetious, or if he’s managed to completely delude himself into thinking he’s the braver of the two of them. Because, arguably, he’s not—at least not in anything beyond the real world. (Hermann will begrudgingly admit many of Newton’s actions during the final days of the war, though incredibly foolish, were also quite brave.) Newton cowers behind his popcorn bucket when he drags Hermann to see horror films at the cinema; he shrieks at jumpscares, ghostly faces in windows, slasher killers stalking their victims; once, he watched a YouTube playthrough of some zombie video game, and showed up at Hermann’s bedroom five out of seven nights the following week to ask him to check to make sure the front door was locked, or if he heard that noise, or if Hermann was the one who left that hall light on and not an undead intruder who was probably hiding in the linen closet waiting to massacre them… “I’ll keep that in mind,” Hermann says, sarcastically.

The problem is that Newton hates being afraid of things. As a result, he feels the constant need to reaffirm to Hermann—and probably himself—that he’s not afraid of anything. It’s why the small octopus-shaped bowl on the entranceway bookcase in their flat is overflowing with movie ticket stubs from horror movies, and currently, why they’re in line for a Haunted Hayride.

“Do you realize we’re the only people above twenty years old here?” Hermann says.

“Young people know how to have fun,” Newton says with a smile. Hermann’s idea of a fun Friday night is taking a bath with a mystery novel and a glass of wine. He does not consider standing in the cold around a bunch of hormone-fueled and PDA-happy teenagers to be very fun. Newton’s added presence isn’t really helping much. “You know I worked a part time job at a haunted house when I was a teenager?”

“Did you scare people?” Hermann says.

“Nah,” Newton says. “I worked the fog machine. Hey, look, we’re up next.”

The line for the hayride has wound them through a Styrofoam-tombstone cemetery, “The Field of Terror” (dead corn stalks and angry-looking scarecrows swaying in the breeze), and now finally a small pumpkin patch. It’s too dark to see ahead where their ride will take them. “Tickets, please?” a vampire asks them in a hokey Transylvanian accent.

“Sick costume, man,” Newton says. He holds out his ticket, which has a little Jack-O-Lantern grinning away on it. Hermann does the same.

“You may…enter,” the vampire says, and steps aside with a whoosh of his cape.

“I should be a vampire for Halloween this year,” Newton says, as he helps Hermann up a few rickety wooden stairs to the tractor hitch they’ll be riding on, and then over to a terribly uncomfortable bale of hay. “But like, a cool vampire. Not a dumb Dracula one. Like Lost Boys. Did I make you watch Lost Boys?”

“Yes, Newton,” Hermann sighs. “You made me watch Lost Boys. And Lost Boys 2. And Lost Boys 3.”

“It’s insane how uncultured you were before I met you,” Newton says.

“I don’t want to talk about Lost Boys anymore,” Hermann says.

“Fine,” Newton says. He turns and begins squinting into the field ahead of them. “I wonder how this is going to go down? Like, are people going to try and drag us off? No, I don’t think that’s legal. Or maybe—”

Someone in an intensely gory zombie costume, holding a bloodstained, bladeless chainsaw, suddenly leaps out from below at Newton; Newton shrieks and lands on the wooden bed of the hitch. A group of teenagers seated a little further down from them begin laughing. “That is so uncool,” Newton says, as the zombie continues to gleefully wave their chainsaw around. “I could’ve, like, fallen off or something. I could’ve really hurt myself.”

“Get up off the bloody floor already,” Hermann sighs, and raps his cane against Newton’s boot.

Newton, to his surprise, stares at him in something like genuine hurt. Hermann feels a pang of guilt. He quickly puts on a show of rolling his eyes to offset it. “I’m sorry,” he says. “Are you alright?”

Newton dusts hay off his pumpkin-patterned sweater and sits back next to Hermann with an affronted sniff, though he does shoot a wary glance back down below. Looking for more zombies, Hermann presumes. “I’m fine,” he says. “It’s cool.”

The ride is jerky, uncomfortable, and—more likely than not—not very structurally sound. They pass through the rest of the pumpkin patch, where more scarecrows (these, animated) stalk them, and wave scythes; a large, fog-shrouded tunnel where hidden speakers play clattering chains and wails, and the occasional ghostly white hand grabs onto the edge of the tractor hitch; more zombies, more vampires, even a mad scientist’s lab, which does manage to rouse a burst of laughter from Hermann. He could imagine Newton being very much at home in it—in fact, it very nearly does resemble his half of their old Hong Kong laboratory. “I rather feel like I’m having deja-vu,” he whispers to Newton, watching a short man in a white lab coat plug wires into a monster on his dissection table.

Newton nearly jumps a mile into the air the second Hermann opens his mouth. “Gimme a warning next time!”

“Before I speak?”

“I wasn’t expecting it, okay?” Newton says.

Newton is jumpy the entire car-ride home, eyes continuously darting up into the rear view mirror, to the backseat, over at Hermann, and when they make it back to their flat, he locks the deadbolt and the chain on their front door. “Who do you think followed us?” Hermann says. “Frankenstein’s bloody monster?”

“Just taking precautions,” Newton says. He darts over to the window by their couch and peers out of it, then checks the lock on that, too.

“We live on the fourth floor,” Hermann reminds him. “Frankly, if someone manages to climb in through that, I’d be impressed. Oh, come on, Newton—” he starts, when Newton doesn’t so much as crack a smile, “Let’s put something on the telly. Whatever you’d like. We could watch one of those cooking programs you—”

“I think I’m just gonna brush my teeth and go to bed,” Newton says.

This, it turns out, is a lie. Hardly an hour later, while Hermann relaxes in bed with the mystery novel Newton so cruelly kept him from enjoying in the bath this evening, there’s a little knock on his door; in slips Newton, wearing green boxers and an oversized TU Berlin sweatshirt.

“I was wondering where that went,” Hermann remarks mildly. “Can I help you?’

“Can I sleep in here tonight?” Newton says, in a very, very small voice.

Hermann smiles, and slips off his glasses. “If you’d like,” he says.

Newton shuts the light off while Hermann makes room for him. He takes happily to the left side of the bed, and even more happily to pillowing himself against Hermann’s chest, eyes fluttering shut almost immediately. “Just for tonight,” he mumbles, as Hermann strokes back his unruly hair. “I’m not scared, though. That’s not why.”

“Of course you’re not,” Hermann tells him kindly. Truthfully, this is why Hermann can put up with the annoyances of double-checking the locks, shutting linen closet lights off, assuring Newton at four in the morning he hasn’t heard a thing: it almost always ends with Newton in his bed, which Hermann doesn’t think can be termed an annoyance in any universe.

“I just thought you might be,” Newton says.

“How terribly considerate of you,” Hermann says.

#newmann #maria's fanfiction tag #Anonymous

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its-sixxers · 4 years

Text

Video Game Questionnaire

Tagged by @slothssassin!

Tagging any of y’all hoes (or non hoes) who wanna talk about some got dang VIDYA GAEMS

Rules: Fill in your answers below and tag some buddies!

-Games-

First game you ever played: Pokemon Red on the OG game boy. Hell yeah.

Favorite game: Don’t make me do this. D: Probably a toss up between: Heroes of Might and Magic III, Knights of the Old Republic (1 and 2), Vampire the Masquerade Bloodlines aaaand Fallout New Vegas.

Game you hated at first but now love: Darkest Dungeon! I found out my gameplay groove and now really really like it. I didn’t hate it before, just found it frustrating.

Game you used to love but now hate: I don’t really hate any game that I used to love (even World of Warcraft), but I can’t ever go back to the Mass Effect Trilogy for reasons that are probably obvious to anyone who’s played it. I got hurt too bad man. :(

actually just recalled and this is gonna be a SPICY opinion: FFXIV. I had a lot of fun with it but the RP scene drove me off really fast. WoW’s Moon Guard gets a lot of shit, but FFXIV was miles worse for general grossness. I don’t begrudge anyone who has fun with the game or RPs in it (there’s a lot of fun lore!) but I don’t have the energy for trying to sift through that amount of nightmare to find like the dozen cool people lol.

Game with the best group/companion(s): This was a hard one. There’s games that have my favorite characters ever but also have some really annoying companions, there’s games with characters I like across the board but the execution is weak. I’m just going to say VTM Bloodlines for easiness’ sake. A great cast and I actually think I like them all for specific reasons. Yes, even Ming Xiao. Maybe especially Ming Xiao, actually.

A game with your favorite ending: Bloodlines even though I had to turn godmode on for the last combat portions teehee. I just love the twist. :D

A game with the WORST ending: See Mass Effect above. Yes it’s been like a decade, no I’m still not over it.

Best character customization?: HRMST. With mods, Fallout 4. Without - I played Black Desert Online for a whole 3 seconds and it had an insane amount of options but I found it overwhelming lol.

Also putting a cut here cuz long post.

-Hero and Companions-

Your favorite playable character: Jedi Exile or the Courier.

The funniest playable character: Garrett from the Thief series is a smartass and I love him for it. The Courier also gets some great options, naturally.

Your favorite companion(s): Oh christ here we go. Carth Onasi, Jolee Bindo, HK-47, Atton Rand, Kreia, Bao-Dur, Kaidan Alenko, Garrus, Tali, Wrex, Legion, The Entire New Vegas Gang, Butch DeLoria, Charon, Deacon, Preston.

Companions you could live without: This is a difficult one since even companions I’m not super fond of have their place and purpose in the narrative, usually. I’m going to say G0-T0 and Hanharr from KOTOR 2 as they kept that game from the Best Companions title lol. I don’t play dark side and both of them just felt a little underdeveloped for me.

oh and skadge from SWTOR, fuck skadge

-Relationships-

Favorite game friendship(s): Shepard + everyone, Morrigan and the Female Warden, Josie + Inquisitor, The Courier + everyone, Sole Survivor + everyone, Female Revan + Bastila, Exile + the new Jedi gang.

Favorite companion banter: This might make me a basic bitch but Deacon. The interplay between goofiness and sadness is just perfect.

A relationship you loved but went bad: Revan and Carth. It went bad because Revan fucked off to the Unknown Regions and left him behind, then we find out why in SWTOR (and they canonize Revan as a dude BOOOO) and it’s dumb lol.

A relationship you weren’t sure of but loved: Kaidan and Shepard when Mass Effect 2 rolled along. Being railroaded into working with Cerberus had me VERY annoyed at the time and Kaidan’s 100% right to also be mad about it so I was like oh god yeah I’d break up too. Mass Effect 2 has the best companions + side story but the worst main quest fight me. (Actually don’t pls)

A character you wish you COULD romance: Let’s list em off, shall we: D E A C O N, Nick Valentine, Glory, Nathaniel Howe, Bao-Dur, Nines Rodriguez, LaCroix, Beckett. Let me do it you cowards.

A minor character you wish could be a companion: Harding in Inquisition, Glory (actually most of the Railroad would be nice), Scout Haylen, Fahrenheit.

-Fun-

Shoutout to a random NPC: All the Jawas in KOTOR I love them. Oh and Officer Chunk in Bloodlines, that stupid, stupid man.

A game you love watching playthroughs for and want to play: I don’t actually seek out more than one let’s play of a game. :V I’d say the old Call of Cthulhu game though - it’s really neat but buggy as all hell and the one time I tried starting it up it ended up breaking real big time. It’s fun to watch people luckier (or more tech competent) than I am play it and I wish I could do the same.

Love watching playthroughs but won’t ever play: My boyfriend and I sometimes do this thing where he’ll stream a game he’s playing and I’ll sit in voice chat with him while I work with the stream in the other screen, so probably the games he’s done there. Most recent ones have been: Metal Gear Solid, FF7 and FF9.

Online gaming or solo?: I looove solo games but I love online more. Being in an LDR, playing games together online is really good. I enjoy having fun with friends, and I also enjoy the competitive aspect that comes along with online games. It really pushes me to be better at things and improve. Usually I’m in some kind of MMO - it’s looking to be WoW for the forseeable future right now. Sometimes I’ll get dragged into games like Planetside or Destiny and have a fun time for a month or two as well. :) I had a ton of fun with Sea of Thieves a few months ago too! Living our Captain Jack fantasy.

Why do you play video games?: More than ever recently - creative inspiration. I like poking into weird games or games with a really strong art direction or good writing. (EYE Divine Cybermancy, Pathologic, Sunless Seas/Skies, Cultist Simulator, Dishonored, Darkwood, and Darkest Dungeon being a few of them). I also just really like a good story and good characters. Being able to immerse myself in another world is great. I also play them for that little cookie of accomplishment - beating a hard boss (LOOKING AT YOU NAMELESS KING) or figuring out a puzzle (Cultist Simulator is chock full of those) or surviving spookies (Darkwood big time). Video games are great and they hold my attention better than TV or movies as I actually have to engage with them lol.

#tagged stuff #i have a somewhat eclectic collection of vidya i like aside from the mainstay RPGs #i wish there were more indie weird rpgs like there are indie weird horror games or shooters

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crepuscular-gloom · 4 years

Text

Poptropica Island Ratings

okay I saw a post on here a while ago and someone rated the Poptropica islands. I remember agreeing with a lot of them, but they only went so far so a lot of the newer islands were missed out. I came across it again recently and got hit by a wave of nostalgia so I’m gonna do my own now. Unoriginal content very good. i’ll put a keep reading link to stop it from taking up too much space

Early Poptropica - mega nostalgia but kinda boring. I like the original Poptropicans being pixely and there is a goth gf in the sewers however the giant green spider scared the shit out of me as a kid and the idea of an aircraft graveyard made me sad so 6/10

Shark Tooth Island - also nostalgic but I didn’t complete it for a long time for some reason.. very short. it has a story but its there is nasty shark and people stuck on an island so make a calming potion. the medicine man looks like he is from viva pinata so 6/10

Time Tangled Island - VERY GOOD AND FUN AND HISTORICAL FUCK THAT AZTEC THO DICKHEAD. quite lengthy for an island but this is good because that means more time periods to explore. it’s also educational but i just care about restoring time. very legendary the iconic just jumped out - 10/10

24 Carrot Island - stupid pun point taken off. introduces Dr Hare and people are THIRSTY. you can dye your hair with milkshakes. i thought it was creepy as a kid honestly. i think its mind control or something. but i like it, it still has nostalgia value 8/10

Super Power Island - very legend like. i loooove the antagonists, especially copy cat but i think i had to look up a guide to beat her because i was dumb af. you need a licence to be a superhero but you are a superhero!!! very fun i like this one a lot 10/10

Spy Island - i remember sucking at this one as well as a kid. i think it fucks with peoples hair and i only remember because my character looks fresh 100% of the time and this island fucked it up i think. i don't really remember it tho. 5/10

Nabooti Island - it’s based on a Choose Your Own Adventure book so good premise. go around the world is also good. you have to get jewels i think. ngl i didn’t finish this one because i sucked at it so i’m just going off the wiki and how far i got into it. fuck the animal puzzle 7/10

Big Nate Island - who the fuck is Big Nate. i only remember the school climbing frame and a stink bomb. fuck you big nate we don’t have your comics in England 1/10

Astro-Knights Island - medieval knights.... IN SPACE?!?! COUNT ME IN. crazy jester bard guy antagonist. people are thirsty for him too. i’m pretty sure you end up in another dimension or something. cyborgs and shit 9/10

Counterfeit Island - bruh i loved this island. pretty sure antagonist is also making people thirsty. you have to go back to Early Poptropica Island to complete it, very cool. investigating crime is cool idea it’s l.a. noire in poptropica. the wiki says there is a glitch called anti-social clown and i have to say relatable 9/10

Reality TV Island - i think i completed this like twice and i remember jackshit. you get to see past characters tho so very good. it’s just doing challenges. 4/10

Mythology Island - VERY GOOD. LEARN ABOUT MYTHOLOGY. you can fight hydra and other creatures, you meet Zeus you meet Hades, Aphrodite is a bitch. 9/10

Skullduggery Island - pirates are always good no matter what. apparently it is one of the hardest islands which explains why i never completed it but you fight other pirates and sea monsters for doubloons or some shit sounds cool to me 8/10

Steamworks Island - steampunk is good. i remember completing this and thinking it was interesting and weird to look at. i think the atmosphere is was lonely tho. there’s a boss battle against a plant i think. otherwise i don’t fuckin remember 7/10

Great Pumpkin Island - it’s Peanuts so it’s nice. very nice and simple. it’s just about the great pumpkin except you’re there. 6/10

Cryptids Island - GOD TIER. CRYPTIDS IS SUCH A GOOD IDEA. some of it is scary tho. the jersey devil just fucking staring at you from the window was a shit the bed moment for a kids game. also before the islands got rebooted, it was one of the only islands to have sound effects, i.e. when the chupacabra bursts out the box. honestly because of the balls on this kids game to scare children and also being good island 10/10

Wild West Island - the only thing better than pirates is cowboys. i don’t really remember it but you do go against an outlaw gang. i like cowboys 10/10

Wimpy Wonderland Island - Jeff I know you made doawk and poptropica but did you have to show it. ngl i liked it because i like doawk. but it’s kinda... creatively bankrupt i guess. 3/10 2 points because Rodrick is there

Red Dragon Island - i think more time travel but just to old Japan. you have to save a girl. that’s all i remember. also i think there is a nasty samurai guy. but also evil dragon. i can’t remember because for the longest time this was a premium account only island so i never got to finish it for the longest time. that was a dick move 7/10 for that alone.

Shrink Ray Island - cool premise but this island expects me to learn morse code 3/10

Mystery Train Island - detectives? on a train? very nice. basically murder on the orient express except no murder and thomas edison is there and also various other 1700/1800 nerds

Game Show Island - basically Reality TV except it’s to save the world from robots. 5/10

Ghost Story Island - wow iconic. this is the only island with voice acting and it’s to fucking jumpscare you i shat myself. ghost hunting, very cool 10/10

S.O.S Island - it’s basically Titanic mixed with Moby Dick. it’s ok 6/10

Vampire’s Curse Island - i reaaaally like this one. i like vampires. it has a vampire daddy in it so. he kidnaps a teenage girl tho because he thinks its the love of his life who is dead. kinda weird. he does stop being insane at the end tho and says sorry and dies. the girls bf is a dickhead tho. 9/10

Twisted Thicket Island - i think you’re saving a forest from becoming housing. i really like it because it introduces various folkloric creatures like the nokken. i only remember the nokken because i went on akinator to see if he knew what it was and i don’t think he did so i added it and it’s photo to his database. or maybe it was just his photo but i remember uploading something to akinator. 8/10

Poptropolis Games Island - i don’t think i liked this one 3/10

Wimpy Boardwalk Island - Jeff. 2/10 1 point added because Rodrick is also there

Lunar Colony Island - space is good. do i remember this island tho? no. i think theres aliens tho. 5/10 because i like space and aliens.

Super Villain Island - it brings back the most memorable villains like binary bard and black widow. you find out why they are evil. pretty chill 8/10

Charlie and The Chocolate Factory Island - what do you expect 5/10

Zomberry Island - the last of us except i think people are just eating nasty berries really. i like it it’s spooky 7/10

Night Watch Island - Paul Blart Mall Cop 6/10

Back Lot Island - you make a film. i can’t remeber it like at all. 6/10 because it sounds ok

Poptropolis Games Island Part 2 - fuck off 2/10

Virus Hunter Island - i don’t think i completed this one either. however it is one of those inside the human body things which is always cool if cliche. 8/10

Mocktropica Island - very satirical what if about if poptropica was run by assholes. ironic since a bunch of islands were made premium only for a while. pretty sure the bonus missions still are too which is why i’m not mentioning them. funny tho 7/10

Monster Carnival Island - spooky yes. people thirst over the ringmaster raven guy too. theres a spooky clown on the ferris wheel. i don’t remember much other than i liked it because it was about monsters in a theme park. 9/10 i remember it was surprisingly short tho

Survival Island - castaway except it’s you. i don’t remember it either lmao. i got out of touch with old poptropica real bad by this time so my next ratings might be unfair sorry. pretty sure it also becomes the most dangerous game tho and some guy wants to actually fucking kill you. ballsy. 7/10 because it sounds ok i should maybe play it.

Mission Atlantis Island - i like atlantis but i didn’t play this one either. you see deepsea creatures which are spooky so extra points 8/10

PoptropiCon Island - poptropica’s answer to comicon. now i did play this one for some reason but i don’t remember it too well either. i was 14 when it came out so. sounds like yu-gi-oh so good. 7/10

Arabian Nights Island - didn’t play it i think it’s just telling the story. it’s a cool story so 7/10

Galactic Hotdogs Island - what the fuck 1/10

Mystery of The Map Island - vikings are cool. island seems very short tho. 5/10

Timmy Failure Island - who the fuck. this would be more impactful if i read these fucking things but i don’t. who the fuck are you timmy. i guess it’s called failure for a reason. (that was mean sorry) 1/10

Escape from Pelican Rock Island - prison break, nice idea. you have like a twin in this one. seems a bit repetitive sometimes tho. theres like 7 days of doing similar things. 6/10

Monkey Wrench Island - it was created to be the new tutorial, i.e. an actual tutorial rather than Early Poptropica. very fast and boring, especially if you already know everything. 2/10

Crisis Caverns Island - i know nothing about this. even the wiki is incomplete. maybe that means its shit then. 1/10 the wiki doesn’t even care too much about this one.

Greek Sea Odyssey - more ancient greece is always good. you get to beat the shit out of zeus this time 8/10

Snagglemast Island - all you do is collect coins. another tutorial one. 1/10.

bonus: home island. legit just a hub. points added because you can do a lot of customisation here and pick up a pet that doesn’t cost credits. 4/10

DOUBLE BONUS: the little haunted house mini thing. very good because spooky costumes, spooky house fun little monster party. 10/10

#poptropica #feel free to add your opinions #do you agree #or disagree #i get unfair because i stopped playing a loooong time ago #tho i sometimes jump on #if you see me i'm called chilly skull #edgy i know but i made it when i was 7 #poptropica islands #this felt like writing a goddamn essay enjoy

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emeraldtawny · 4 years

Note

Can you tell us 10 random facts about you? I would love to get to know you better but I'm not sure what you are comfortable sharing with us. Thanks I love you so much you're the best writer in the fandom (in my opinion)

nbkdfjchgndkf aww you’re so lovely, thank you ;w;

Now the fun part.....thinking of 10 things pffbhfjg. I cannot for the life of me think of interesting things about myself so I just googled ‘icebreaker questions’ and found ones I liked (then threw in some otome questions at the end uwu). Hope this will suffice ^w^~

Under the cut cause oops I rambled~

1. If you could go back in time to any era/period, when would that be?

Probably the 1920s. Great music, movies and radio are these new and fancy things and its right before the stocks crash so everything is alright! For real tho, for the jazz music alone, the 20s, yes pls.

2. What’s one food you cannot stand?

I must align with Fenrir in our stand against tomatoes. I just cannot eat them and how people can eat them raw is just so gross to me. If I can’t taste them, all good. But when I can, they taste like a bad cordial drink that’s too watery. No tomatoes in this household.

3. What’s your favourite non-otome game?

At the moment, I’ve been in love with Fire Emblem: Three Houses. Never played a FE game before so I’m pleasantly surprised by how much I love it. Of all time, though? Pokemon. I am SO excited for Sword and Shield. Team Sobble all the way~!

4. Where in the world do you most want to go?

I want to go back to Japan now that I appreciate more anime than I did when I went 4 years ago. Would also love to go to Greece, I feel like that would be a nice pretty place to go to.

5. If you could have a superpower, what would it be?

I’ve always been an “I want to read minds” type of person, but recently I’ve liked the idea of either telekinesis (making myself or other objects float would be hella useful) or ice magic (through no other reason except for instant ice cream).

6. Between IkeSen, IkeRev and IkeVam, which world would you want to live in the most?

...just to torture myself hrekdfndf. As much as I love the warlord boyos, being in constant danger with the wars would just not bode well for me. So it’s either magic....or aphrodisiac vampires.....honestly, Cradle sounds amazing, but 19th century France and the chance to talk to historical figures AND the worst danger I’d likely have is being goddamned kidnapped like MC always seems to be...yeah, I choose IkeVam.

7. What’s a useless talent you have?

I’d argue writing but I think some of you would yell at me for saying that hridkerdts. uhhhhhhh....I can do a relatively convincing Togepi noise from Pokemon..woo!

8. Of the Cybird characters based off of real-life people, who was the most interesting to learn about?

Little background for this. I personally enjoy researching and learning about the IRL counterparts to the hot anime men they’re based on, both for curiosity and also research for writing to make sure they’re in character (is that weird? idk). For IkeSen, Mitsuhide and Motonari were super interesting to read about, even if the info on them compared to the others is relatively sparse. Ieyasu and Mitsunari’s big historic fight was my personal favourite event to learn more about, though. As for IkeVam, definitely Dazai. I already knew a little about his character from BSD, but this version of Dazai had me much more inclined to look up articles and even buy his book No Longer Human to read (which I highly recommend, it is such a good book and study for his character since it’s considered a semi-autobiography). I actually intend to do a big speel on Dazai and his character like I’ve done with my other favourites because I honestly think his life was just...tragic. They all are but...bias gredknrd.

9. Favourite fanfic troupe?

Mutual pining is my blood and soul. Fake dating and ‘there’s only one bed’ coming in close behind, but in truth I love them all~

10. What inspires you to write?

I just like sharing my dumb ideas with people who might like them. It’s still insane to me that people like what I write and knowing that makes me want to produce the best fics I can. It’s just a positive feedback loop and I’m here for it :3

#tawny q&a #dumb random questions for a dumb random peep #you're very kind anon thank you v much ;w;

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mazzystargirl · 5 years

Note

do you have any good book recommendations?

ok sorry this took me so long to answer but i have so much i want to recommend!!! thank you for giving me an opportunity to rant abt books, anon!!!! i also know this is going to be long so i put all my recs under the cut :)

it’s likely if you’re on tumblr that you already know about the main tumblr books (like six of crows or all for the game etc) so i’m not going to waste time telling you that you should read them if you haven’t. you should. they’re good.

here are some lesser known books that i don’t see a ton of fan content for! in no particular order!!!

1. Jane, Unlimited by Kristin Cashore. this is an all around weird (in the best way!!) book tbh. it follows a girl named jane who visits her friend’s house on an island. it’s split into five stories, each one a different genre and based on a choice that jane made. it’s sort of hard to describe, but it’s seriously so brilliant. also jane is a bi girl if you’re into that!

2. The Summer of Jordi Perez by Amy Spalding. this is a lesbian rom-com! it’s about a girl named abby in los angeles who meets another girl (jordi perez) and they fall for each other. ITS SO CUTE UGH it’s full of really awesome friendship and romance that made me feel butterflies in my belly. ugh i love it so much.

3. Dear Rachel Maddow by Adrienne Kisner. this book made me cry a lot. i think it can be a really emotionally heavy book, but it’s also very cathartic to read. it follows a girl, brynn, who’s brother’s died and she is struggling with the aftermath of that. the thing i love about brynn is how much she really cares about everything. she’s my favorite type of heroine, someone who tries so hard and cares so much, but has a lot of trouble expressing it because of sadness and stuff. maybe i’m projecting. also, brynn’s a lesbian. i think you can probably see a theme here. tw//suicide attempt

4. We Are Okay by Nina LaCour. i’m not sure how popular this book is but it’s good, ok. don’t let anyone tell you nina lacour books are boring. it made me cry like hell. it’s about a girl named marin who goes to college across the country from where she lives after her grandfather dies. she isolates herself from everyone in her old life, and it’s such a beautiful story of family and friendship and finding yourself after you think you’re so lost you can never recover.

5. The Miseducation of Cameron Post by Emily M. Danforth. this book is amazing and not enough people have read it. i know you might have already heard of it but: follows a gay girl named cameron whose parents die and she navigates through being gay is montana in the 90s. highly, highly recommend if you haven’t read it! tw//conversion therapy

6. The Literary Works of Alice Oseman. she has a decent fanbase on this website, but just. read all her books. they’re so amazing. they’re all so realistic and indicative of the millennial/gen z experience in this day and age. highly, highly, highly recommend. her books are probably my favorites of all time!

7. The Hate U Give by Angie Thomas. i know i said lesser known books, and this book is pretty popular, but ugh. this book. ugh this book is so, so, so good. it’s a must read! it’s about a girl named starr who is the witness to the murder of her friend khalil at the hands of the police. it has a very delicate exploration of relationships between the police and low-income black families. the core of the book is really about family and friendship and being strong in a time of hardship, and it’s very very touching and an extremely good piece of work. also it annoys me that there’s not more fanwork surrounding this book. i can’t draw but i wish i could JUST so i could draw starr and khalil!!! tw//character death

8. Release by Patrick Ness. this book follows a young gay boy, adam, through one day of his life, and it is a WEIRD day. there are some really insane supernatural elements, and it explores adam’s relationship with his friends, his family, his boyfriend, his ex-boyfriend, and more! it’s definitely on the heavier side, too. it’s sweet and sometimes really sad. it’s also such a beautiful book. patrick ness is SUCH a good writer ugh. tw//homophobia and sexual harassment

9. Whatever by S.J. Goslee. this book is SO funny ugh. it’s kind of wild but very cute. it’s about a boy named mike who realizes he’s bisexual! he’s a dumb stoner half the time but he drinks his respecting women and loving his friends juice so you end up adopting him halfway through the book. there are a lot of really awesome friendships and i love mike’s sister a lot too. tw//homophobia and biphobia

10. Evil Librarian by Michelle Knudsen. this book is also Very Funny. it’s about a girl named cynthia who realizes that her librarian is actually a demon from another dimension, and has to save her best friend annie from becoming his bride. it has such an awesome friend dynamic between cyn and annie, and also her two other friends diane and leticia! the romance between cyn and her love interest is also a very healthy and cute relationship that i love. plus the backdrop of musical theatre was also very cute because i love musical theatre lmao! there’s also a sequel and a third book coming out in august that i am Very Excited about!

11. The Darkest Minds by Alexandra Bracken! an actually good apocalypse novel series! a whole thing happens that makes a bunch of kids have superpowers, and they’re sent to basically concentration camps, and they have to overthrow the leader. i love the main character ruby and also love the relationship between her and her friends, zu, chubs, liam, vida, and jude. three books in the series and one book of novellas.

12. Etiquette & Espionage by Gail Carriger. abt a girl named sophronia who goes to finishing school. the school ends up being a school for spies. chaos ensues. i seriously love this story so much. it’s set in a steampunk london, so lots of cool gadgets with the retro coolness of the victorian era. there are highwaymen, but they fly so they’re called flywaymen, and werewolves, and vampires, and a kid named vieve who is seriously such a delight. four books in the series.

13. The Female of the Species by Mindy McGinnis. this book is so insane. it’s about a girl named alex craft who gets revenge on the asshole who murdered her sister. it’s an examination of rape culture and all the shit that comes with being a girl in high school right now. tw//sexual and physical assault

14. Stranger Than Fanfiction by Chris Colfer. so i didn’t know the author was in glee, i just picked the book up because i thought the cover was cool. and yes, it is not a perfect book. but it is wild. it is crazy. it has a lot of heart. and that’s what matters. it’s funny and just kind of a fun trip to read. the plot kind of feels like fanfiction at times, but you know what. its stranger than that.

i hope you like these books anon!! they’re some that i really enjoyed and now i feel like i want to go back and read them again lmao.

#ask #anon #book recs

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briteboy · 6 years

Photo

okay i’m gonna be real with you. i have...a LOT...of messages. going as far back as like...january? probably? i know...i’m so bad...don’t crucify me. i tried to get through all of them but there were a lot that i didn’t have a worthwhile reply for so i’m sorry if i didn’t answer something you sent :{

so here we have: a lot of nice things, a lot of santisms, reactions to the lou and cillian punchout, a few responses to my portfolio and other stuffs...i wanted to put astrology asks in at the end but it’s...a lot more than i thought it was and it’s 3 am so i’d rather die than answer all of those LMAO sorry. i’ll get to it next time

Anonymous said:

u can delete the snorting cum asks but it will still follow you for eternity

okay so I saw the ask about snorting cum and it reminded me of a time that cum came out of my nose. It was gross but my boyfriend and I laughed it off. idk. I thought it would be a funny thing to share!! i'd understand if you didn't want this on your blog!! (maybe it makes you laugh!!)

wELL. WE’RE OFF TO A GOOD START HERE. i’m screaming at this...i hope nothing EVER comes out of my nose ever in life...i hate this but ur right it did make me laugh

(Winry anon again) Also, did you get her name from FMA Winry Rockbell because if so I love it

hehe...yes...

hornybodies

this is what bartsim calls me and i hate her for it

whats the truth bitch

I DON’T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT THIS IS ABOUT BUT I’M LAUGHIGN

i never realised how much i actually missed santi but now im CRYING AND I WANT HIM BACK IN EVERY SINGLE POST WITH LOU BY HIS SIDE LIVING HAPPILY EVER AFTER PLEASE

I missed santirat's beautiful face there are literal tears rn

me too...i hate that i miss him so much it’s so freaking dumb...i haven’t cried to my own story in a while but i bet i’m gonna once santi’s comeback rolls around. i’m already bracing myself

nvm u can have the lovely rat back, that way my heart wouldn’t be hurting like it is now

honestly yeah that’s fair

Been silently following your blog and though I'm more of a "ghost"(? What does that even mean¿) follower, I can't help but express just how chocked I am to see Santi again OMG. Gutted Lou has had a flashback, she does not deserve this. :'(

hello casper the friendly ghost...i love having santi pop up with surprise flashbacks hehe...ur right though she DOES NOT NEED THIS in her life, but it will get better for her soon do not fret my ghoulish friend

I need more pics of Lou and Santi together I’m not satisfied, thankssss

ELI AND MIYU GETTING SO EXCIted WHEN LOU TOLD THEM SHE LIKES GIRLS MY HEART :’)

HEHEH i love it cause that’s literally how my friends and i act, it was fun to write in a scene :~} i’m glad you liked it :’}}

Yeah when I cut my hair short everyone assumed I liked girls I found it kind of odd, but I didn't care too much. It mostly just made me end up realizing all the shit lgbt people go through, one time a guy literally went up to me and my friend, my bff who no one really knew was a lesbian was terrified because he said "oh dont worry lesbians are hot, but gay guys are just disgusting" it ended up he was talking to me, i just rolled up a piece of paper as tight as I could and smacked him on the head

EWW first of all that guy can take his weird fetishization and homophobia elsewhere thanks...i’m glad you threw a paper ball at him LMAO. but yeah on one hand, coming from ignorant/straight people it’s like “uhhhh why would you assume that about me”, within the lgbt community it’s like...common ground...an inside joke...i guess? so it’s weird. the link between hair, clothes and sexuality is can definitely be harmful in certain circumstances

fiona is my spirit animal and i love her ok thanks for coming to my TED Talk

that was illuminating thank you

i re-read santis story and i s2g i've read it so many times idk, but like its so easy to read i dont mean like emotionally but it flows really well. and like its not too confusing i hate when people make overly convoluted stories in an excuse for being deep its some good shit good job my dude

AKJSDKGKSJD THAT MEANS THE WORLD TO ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i never expected anyone to read it oNCE let alone REPEATEDLY...that really makes me so happy though because it’s definitely something you have to go back and read to catch all the details. ahhhhh thank you so much, i never ever want my story to be too complicated so i’m glad you don’t think it is!!

im crying because your recent post reminds me so much of my relationship with my mom when i was younger... she was always out of a job and sometimes we had to resort to living with other family members, it was all really hard on her and especially with having a kid she had to take care of at the same time. even though these are fictional characters, it’s comforting to know that other people have gone through the same situations i have. i love fiona and lou so much, they’re my heart and soul <3

OMG ;_________; i’m crying i’m so glad it resonates with you...i had a lot of friends growing up who were in similar situations and i think i kinda based lou and fi’s relationship on that, so you’re definitely not alone <33 i’m so glad you love them i love u

basically what I’ve learned from these asks is that Gianni is a perfect god-like human and I want one

he is. one time an anon told me they were like santi but they wanted to be rooney and i was like “i’m both santi and rooney on different days and i want to be gianni.” now u know why

hi, i just wanted to pop in and say that i really, really love your blog and i admire your editing skills SO much, i think you are EXTREMELY talented and i don't think you get told that enough. i've been following you for awhile now and i am in love with ALL of your stories, characters and edits you've put out! you're really an inspiration to me and i hope someday my edits can turn out as good as yours!! i don't have reshade so it's harder for me, but i'm trying to learn!! ok have a good day :-)

OMFG ;-; I DO GET TOLD IT A LOT AND IT STILL SEEMS FAKE...you don’t have to go out of your way to compliment me ;___; but thank you so so so much i’m crying...it makes me so giddy that i might inspire someone like WHAT...i don’t even know what i’m doing half the time i edit so u will definitely be able to catch up to me one day even if you don’t have reshade, i know it. i edited without reshade for like 2 and a half years on this blog so you can do it i promise!! have a good day/night/life i love u

fuck my succ

I'm in need of some giannti in my life

we all need some gianti in our lives

Hey! I just wanted to say that ur an amazing writer. You portray everything so well, it’s insane. I want to be a writer someday and I hope my writing is at least somewhat close to yours. Have an awesome day my dude💕

WOW I’M CRYING...i still have a lot of room to grow and so do you, i hope you are able to become the writer you want to be :’} and thank you so much for the wonderful compliment i’m emo have a great day as well

aver is my queen, confirmed.

avey is everyone’s queen confirmed

oksy but listen, look up the model Charlotte Ray Spencer

i did but i couldn’t find her?? all that came up was ray spencer obituaries in charlotte, SC LMFAO...charlotte spencer is an actress tho it seems, is that...who...? omfg

MAY I JUST OFFER THIS NEW SONG OF THE NEIGHBOURHOOD CALLED VOID BC I HAVE A FEELING SANTI WOULD LOVE IT (it's also meant for my aggressive sadboi oc)

OH I LOVE THIS IT FITS PERFECTLY WITH THE PLAYLIST I’M MAKING FOR THE NEW ERA OF SANTI...THANK YOU I’M TOTALLY ADDING IT

I had a ectopic pregnancy when I was seventeen but I feel like I got off lightly compared to Molly. Your story is so beautiful in so many ways, I think it’s incredible how much character development you’ve managed to pull off honestly I’m amazed. Thank you ❤️

omg ;_______; i don’t even know what to say to this, but it means so much to me i can’t even put it into words. thank you thank you thank you so much, and i’m so sorry you had to go through that as well. molly was an extreme case and i hope no one has to go through what she went through. i’m glad you’re okay now, and thank you so much for reaching out to me and reading my story at all ;-; <3333

just a heads up: the links button on your ccfinds blog goes to the femmefinds url still

oh yeah i know i’m gonna be real with you...i’m too lazy to fix it lmAO

Luv your stick n poke tats u posted!!! Could u do more? Maybe on diff places on the bod?? Ur so talented. Xx

omg that was FOREVER ago...maaaaaybe in the future...we shall see...but thank you <33

Can u do a family portrait for all ur characters like u did w Lou!!!

oooooh hehe i probably will in the future!!

Kill v maim is one of my favorite songs of all time omg it makes me wanna wear ripped jeans and a leather jacket and cover myself in glitter and smash some windows with a baseball bat MMMMMM

HELL yeah me too...i become a cyber punk alien vampire when i hear that song

maybe do a casting call posted here ? u have many followers and im sure a good chunk live in ur area and would be willing to model ^_^

omg SCARY...i probably could tho tbh that’s a good idea, thank you!

hi sunny, what program do you use to merge your cc and what do you use to detect and remove broken cc that just doesn't work in game anymore? thanks!

i actually haven’t merged on my new laptop yet but i used s4s for merging and there’s the mod conflict detector!!

My game hasn't been working since the first Cats and Dogs patch but I uninstalled and reinstalled and it finally works again 😭

sunny!! would you recommend your computer to play ts4 on? has it good graphics, can handle the highest settings and so? i really need a new computer but i have no idea which one to go for

yes i would recommend it!! i have reshade, ultra settings and like 8 gb of cc.

thanks for answering my ask eee ur story is probably the best ive read on here and yeah. i love how everything connects and everyones just so real. you dont have to post this i just wanted to thank you for being my inspiration and making me smile, laugh, cry, and scream in the middle of the night with your characters.

I LOVE U...it still sounds so fake to me when people say i inspire them, i don’t even know how to respond to all this ;-; just thank you for sparing a glance my way and resonating with my creations. <3 we scream and cry 2gether

I listened to Separator by Radiohead on repeat whilst reading Santi’s story and now that song just reminds me of him and Lou. I’d totally suggest listening to it’s so good! As is your story :3 xxx

oh radiohead that’s good sh*t...i’m listening to it now and i feel the santou vibes...especially when santi’s feeling out of his mind and she’s the only one who can calm him...haha cool..anyways THANK YOU!!!!

how do you make poses for the roof? i'm not sure how i can know if the sims will clip into the roof or float

honestly i just...eyeball it...because all roofs are different and you can’t put them into blender so. i just winged it lmao...i just made a pose that looked like it could’ve been lou climbing out the window, only the rig was still ground level, and then i used alt + 9 to lift the teleporter onto the roof as best as i could. that’s why it probably wouldn’t be a very practical pose to release, because i have no way of making it easy to use

Lou punched him and I knew it would happen. 😀👌 nice, nice I like Lou whopping ass.

hehe i’m glad you enjoyed it...who knew she had a freaking hook like that

ok a theory... santi went to look for molly's mother and yea

omg tell me cillian sings every other freckle at some point

OMFG well...that song came out in 2013 and the current flashback year is 2008 so. i would personally murder cillian myself if he was still in lou’s life 5 years after this honestly

hey kitty girl! i was wondering if you could answer this teensy lil question i got. im writing a "story" anddd i was trying to figure out how to make some parts not cliche. like i hate reading about whatever and being like girll ive done seen this before so i just needs to know. kisses

i absolutely love how this is worded and the fact that u called me kitty, very cute. anyway...this is pretty broad, perhaps you could clarify what kinda cliches you want to steer clear from? a lot of the time when i know something is gonna be cliche and there’s no avoiding it, i just kinda own up to it and try to subtly point out how cliche it is and somehow that makes it work out better...like being self aware somehow adds another more realistic element to the story that makes it better? idk...anyway dm me if you need help!!

so.... lou can remember more of what happened? this is good! go 2 the police bitch! tell them!!!!!!!

she should!! but the only problem is she doesn’t have proof. so... 🤔

how do you write your stories in a way that everything is organized and you're certain and not confused with everything? i mean, do you have any way for writing that let you develop your stories with not so much difficults? i'm trying to write an story for months but i only have a few of the most important events on my mind, i don't know how to develop another important details, i always feel that everything is confuse or crap

hmmmmm well my mind is very ah convoluted so it’s a wonder any of this comes out even somewhat cohesive? but basically i have a very good memory and utilize google docs a lot hahaha. i’ve gone in depth about my writing process here!

whats a good way when it comes to starting a sims story? i mean like the first post? :/

ummmmmm maybe test the waters a bit and just make a post introducing your character(s) first? or dive right in and get sh*t started. it could go either way tbh

boyish by japanese breakfast is a santixlou bop

oh sh*t!!!!!! i love japanese breakfast!! and i love this thank you!

So is lou like into cillian in a way? Making him kinda be in her type

as of right now (in the flashbacks)? HELL fucking no. but you’re right, she did say those things in the future to santi. so 🤔

Everyone guessing shit stupidly annoys me haha. I'M UNOBSERVANT AND I DON'T WANNA GO BACK AND CHECK SHIT, LET ME LIVE. *Like* if you a ~dum~ reader who doesn't want every bit of foreshadowing called out. lol

i respect this honestly whenever i drop the hottest foreshadowing of 2018 i never expect my inbox to flood like it does but here we are and i am amazed

CILLIAN NEEDS TO FUCKING FIGHT ME (TYPING THIS ON MY COMPUTER BC I SAW HIS DINOSAUR ASS AND CHUCKED MY PHONE OUT THE WINDOW)

i’m screaming...i’m so sorry it’s my fault about your phone but like also i’m poor i can’t pay for that

i'm studying your latest posts because they're beautiful and my hatred for that long necked bitch is intensifying -- what makes me burn even more is that he's still wearing her necklace, can we say let the bitch burn?

burn babey burn

Why don't you use quick tags?

i’m dumb is why

CILLIAN IS SUCH A SHITASS I HATE HIS FACE WHY R U DOING THIS TO ME

BRUHHHHH THE DINOSAUR LOOKIN ASS BOY IS B A C K run

WAIT THE NECKLACE. HE STOLE THE MCFUCKING NECKLACE BROOOOO

What if Fi's blue eyes are from... Cillian..?

wHY did you have to make him cute and fucking cool though? I still hate him but it's harder.

NVM I JUST LOOKED AT THE POST AGAIN HES WEARING HER NECKLACE INHOPE SHE CHOKES HIMS WOTH IT THIS TIME

I SCREAMED AT THIS SERIES OF QUESTIONS OISDFNGJKDSKJN yeah sorry he’s conventionally attractive but unsettlingly so and i feel uneasy when i look at him and plus the fact that he’s literally evil so .

im like, to 90% sure that cillian is in ace joker. so that song might have reminded lou of him...

this was sent right after that scene of lou hearing the song at pippin’s, so

My conspiracy theory is that cillian is Lou's father. Speakimg of which are we gonna get to that soon, I'm dying of curiosity;.;

I’M LAUGHING I THINK U MEANT FIONA’S FATHER AKSJDKJGDSJ but yeah well. You’ll See

what do u resize ur photos to?

whatever 33% of 1920x1080 is i forget. i have a resizing + sharpening action so i just run that

im about to kill those kids if they keep fucking with my baby

THESE BITCHES BULLYING MY BABY LOU? CATCH THESE HANDS

me @ these ugly kids:

Who are the best creators for mens clothing? I struggle so much to find good cc creators with men specifically!

badabing badaboom

I’m not sure if you’ve converted things before but do you know any good sims 3 cc to sims 4 tutorials? Or your followers?

errrrrr i have no idea i’m sorry :x

would you consider making like a photoshop psd file with all the layers in your editing process?

omg...heck no it would be so unhelpful OMFG mostly because my editing is just my own action + shading and highlighting unique to that pic

would you ever do an editing timlapse of your gameplay pics? 💖💖

ahhhhh maybe!! probably in the future!

OMG HEATHERS WAS FILMED AT MY HIGH SCHOOL AND IM JUST HYPED UP SEEING IT BEING MENTIONED ON THIS ACCOUNT!!

OMFG THAT’S RAD...i’ve literally only seen it once tho i’m fake

I'M SHOOK. my friend kinda asked me out and I wanna say yes but my parents won't let me date. I'm 18! I need your advice! -signed 18 and alone anon

um UR 18 BUDDY UR AN ADULT...DATE WHOEVER THE F*CK U WANT HONESTLY

Can you pretty please link some photoshop tutorials you recommend? I really want to make my photos more cinematic and like your's without totally copying you or someone else. All I do right now is sharpen, color balance, and add some noise and then resize. I really need some more ways to get better looking photos such as yours.

ahhhhh the problem is i don’t know of any i’m sorry...lmao this is totally unhelpful :\ i have my own editing tutorial which is outdated but can probably help you out with the basics of lighting effects and shading n stuff?

Heyyy, I saw that you answered a question about making a ps action like your reshade, and I just wanted to say that I would love that! Unfortunately Mac users like me, can’t use reshade unless boot camping Windows onto our computers...☹️ and your reshade is just soooo pretty...

i don’t know if i’ll be able to replicate the reshade effect totally but i could release the action i’ve made for myself? it warms up screenshots but is totally adjustable to your liking for different color tones so in that way it’s kinda similar to the reshade. i’ll seeeeee what i can do...i know the woes of mac users all too well, my friend

i just wanna give lou a big ol cozy hug :o((( pls

pls hug her she needs it.

Do you post on tumblr from your phome or from your computer? Just curious.

mostly from my computer, sometimes i answer messages on my phone while i’m out and you can tell because autocorrect actually makes me use proper capitalization for once in my life

how many hours have you played the sims? for me i have 4,070 hours. haha help

OMFG i think mine is like...900 or something...i can’t tell if that’s too much or too little, but it’s definitely inaccurate

if i could only look at one person's tumblr from now on it would be yours. ur literally the queen of tumblr #shookaf and also i really hope i die before you ever say ur leaving tumblr cause when u do, i will legit die and bury my own grave. i really appreciate u and hope one day i can be on ur level but rn im at level 1.5 while ur up in the millions :D

I’M SCREAMING PLEASE I AM A PLEB.............i cry u flatter me too much ;-; i genuinely hope i never leave this place because it’s been so fun and it’s helped me evolve so much as an artist and a writer, plus i made some of my greatest friends on here. so i hope that day never comes!! but who knows life is wild. anyway i’m sure you’re actually like at level 578 and are just being modest. it’s okay you don’t have to be humble

i think its so cool that you and wanderlust and other simmers use multiple worlds to make your own town and stuff. idk why but thats just so cool to me and i would have never thought of it. love your blog and story <3

omg!!! well i couldn’t resist, i love a bunch of them and can’t limit myself to just one ya know. plus the more i thought about it, the more my gen 2 story kinda centers around these kids from this one town and the town itself is very relevant. so i felt like i had to make my own!! and i’m very excited to get started with that hehe

I just met a guy named Rodrigo Santiago and I sCREAMED HOLY SHIT

Update (tho idk of you got the first one): I just got a text from a classmate named Rodrigo Santiago. I'm sCREECHING

no freaking way. there’s no way i don’t believe...i want proof...

YOU SO FUCKIN PRECIOUS WHEN U SMILE

dont worry about posting this or do idc but i just wanted to say you should write about whatever you want and not care about whether people think you condone it or not. if i (a gay male) were to write about lesbians its not like im saying YOU HAVE TO BE LESBIANS BLAH BLAH BLAH you know what i mean? or if im writing about a robbery doesnt mean im like condoning robbery so like idk you do you boo and keep it coming ;D ilysm btw

OMFG no yeah i get it, i mean i think now especially in this online environment, people are hyper aware of Problematique things and so they’re a little too quick to point fingers without looking deeper than the surface. and whatever it’s fine people are always gonna be like that because people are mostly inherently judgmental, especially when it comes to consuming media. artists/writers face stuff like this all the time because people refuse to look past the surface, hence why works have gotten misconstrued all the time. but yeah i really appreciate this sentiment, thank u i love u

hope this isnt a weird question but what is the image size that u used for your character page?? thnk u 💕

omg it’s 300x300

have u listened to visions of gideon by sufjan stevens i was listening to it while reading ur stories and it made me so :(

oh my boy sufjan aka gianni’s personality claim i love him...and this song is :{ but i love even if it’s from the nasty age gap peach fucking movie

If i was married to Jamie and he treatin’ our daughter like that… oh I swear HES GOT TO GO!

it’s 2 am i’m so tired answering all of these i forgot who jaime was for a sec i was like um why are we talking about GoT anyways good night

how does alpha hair work with reshade? it seems so good in your screenshots and i’ve seen that in others screenshots it looks bad? whats the secret?

well good morning haha jk i never went to sleep anyway here u go

hooow do you make adorable toddlers in ts4?? teach me, gimme some advice please :(((

chubby cheeks! big eyes! small faces! little but plump lips! a good skin! dats all

how did u get ur sim onto the fire escapes?

ze teleporter mod, that’s it

I snickered at the, THE RETURN OF SANTI. Like I imagine it written in red horror lettering and santi just busts down the door and says ho ho ho im back bench, Did U miss me?

honestly i own a calendar and if i knew a definite date u already fucking kNOW it would be up there

ahhh im sorry for asking but im wondering how you find voice claims?? i'm looking for some for my sims, but it's tough to find one that's *right*, you know?? and your voice claims are great!! thank you <3

OMG voice claims are HARD, i literally just like “collect” them over time...i have a list in my phone of voices i like/may use in the future lmao, but try to think of actors or musicians and search interviews/movie or tv scenes with them speaking!!

i don't even read your story but i still follow you because i love your personality, sim style and just your whole entire tumblr

u follow me for ME? UM...what are u doing here...i’m so sorry (i love u...)

do you have a different reshade preset for flashback screenshots and for the present ones?

i do not!! i just edit differently

what happened to the honeycomb?

OMFG it’s still there...but we legit haven’t seen it since girooni’s wedding so um...it’s gonna have to get a makeover. i’m gonna do it when girooni come back home so i can finally show rupi working there like...wow...she deserves to be seen

lou's dad is the biggest asshole and i am waiting for the day that bitch dies

us when he dies

shit theory: caroline goes to find and confront cillian about what he did in teen lou timeline. care ends up forming a crush on cillian and goes back to meet him several more times, but cillian ends up liking lou more which makes caroline jealous. and that's why they don't speak currently, 'cause cillian ruined lou's life in more ways than one.

uM holy fuck that’s all i got to say

pls tell me that Caro killed the dude that choked Lou (or beat his ass)

god i hope so !

how many people do you follow? are you “strict” with who you follow?

i follow 264 people and yeah i’ve gotten a bit stricter with it just cause like...i only want to follow people whose content i truly care about/will actually notice on my dash

would you ever do a sim dump?

probably in the future, it seems like people want more male and female sims from me SO

ramona got some moves tf

the girl is out here bobbing to the chicken dance like nobody’s business

have u seen the end of the fucking world? if u did what are your #thots

UM......................i watched the first episode ‘cause i heard so much about it and um.............................it was so bad OMFG i hated it. way too edgy for me. completely missed the mark. not into it at all. hard pass

CAN LOU PLEASE HAVE A MAN IN HER LIFE WHO IS NOT A COMPLETE TWAT PLEASE

HOPEFULLY ezra will follow through with that and i don’t necessarily mean in a romantic way but like...as her new roommate MAYBE he will be a blessing we can HOPE

I'm not sure if you've been asked this or not, but your poses are so good and I was wondering if you have ever considered making a pose pack? Sorry if this came off as rude! I love your posts!

i will probably in the future!! but first i gotta figure out which ones i’d actually include

okay so this is random but I just wanted to say that I absolutely love your sims stories. Everything is so perfect and I'm forever shook because I can't believe the "sets" you use are actually the game. Your sims are so fleshed out and you are a huge inspiration to me. Anyways sorry if this was weird but I'm like obsessed with ur blog. bYe

AJHSDHJFSD THANK YOU!!!!!!! yes somehow we work miracles into this game can u believe it...ahh but thank you so much, it means everything that i would inspire you in any way...like what...omg

Santi is actually standing outside present Lou’s apartment wondering where the fuck he went wrong

he’s been there for 6 months just on the street standing there please someone let him in .

LOUUUU OH MY GODDD SKKDSNSJDH MY BABY. SO THATS HOW SHE GOT THE SCAR. WOW

there it is fellas. this message is sooooo old i’m so bad

Have you read/heard of The Lunar Chronicles

i have not!! but i’ll jot it down!

I was wondering if you’ve ever had any problems with skins? For me some on the palm side of the hand it’s noticeably darker than what the skin is supposed to be.. like the rest comes out find but the hands are darker.

hmm...that’s weird, i haven’t seen that. i think it probably depends on the skin? or maybe your sim detail settings?

santi my daddy, honeybodies my mommy, lou looking like a cutie when she saw dat tiny puppy. my name is rappin anon, and i just wanted to say, ur are my favorite simblr basically saving my day. rappin anon OUT

o...my god

i love u

i love u...

#nonsims #saviorhide #sunny answers #where is the anon that loves these...i always think of you when i make these...enjoy

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jerevino · 6 years

Text

Sink In - Chapter 3

Pairing: Ryan/Gavin Plot: Vampire AU based on the post “vampires always like “i could kill you if I wanted” like? yeah? so could another human being. so could a dog. so could a dedicated duck. you arent special”

Chapter 1 / 2. AO3 here.

Geoff was going to kill Gavin.

Even if the fucking killer got to him first, Geoff would march up to whatever deity was keeping Gavin’s ass on lockdown in the afterlife, force him to bring the idiot back to life, just so Geoff could kill him all over again.

He heard the phone hit the ground, the resounding echo forcing Geoff to recoil. When he put the phone back to his ear, the line was dead, and Geoff’s heart stopped. He was scared of a lot of things, far more jumpy than he cared to admit. His friends liked to make fun of him for being a wimpy piece of shit, and he took it in stride because they weren’t exactly wrong. But the silence on the line made his blood run cold, and Geoff was actually going to kill Gavin for scaring him like that.

He sprinted from his car, an endless barrage of fuck’s bursting from his mouth like gunfire. There was a very real possibility he was running into a deadly situation, and that he himself might become a target; and as Geoff struggled his way into the building, he had half a mind to wonder why he would do that for Gavin Free of all people. He would later blame the whole thing on his soft conscious and paternal instinct that reminded him that he was the only person on the goddamn planet who could look after Gav in this time of crisis.

It didn’t mean he wasn’t totally pissed, though.

They should have called the police last night, like he’d suggested. Geoff had only let it slide, because Gavin had seemed obviously more shaken that he was verbally letting on, and Geoff didn’t want to cause any extra panic. But fuck, now he was running up the stairs, quite possibly to his fucking doom, and Geoff knew he deserved more credit for his amazing intuition.

Also, why did Gavin have to live on the fifth floor?

By the time Geoff reached the top, he was wheezing, and if Gavin was perfectly fine in his apartment, he was going to strangle the British idiot for making him exercise on short notice. He tried the doorknob first, but when that didn’t work, Geoff opted for the loud approach.

“Gav? You alright in there? Open this fuckin’ door right now, and I’ll buy you a god damn cake. Gavin, bud, I mean it.” He punctuated every other word with a loud bang of his fist against the door. He heard commotion in the apartment behind him, but hardly cared if they thought he was obnoxious.

He banged on the door several more times, before deciding the wait was far too long. He slammed his shoulder once, twice, a third time against it, and reeled back for a fourth when the door flew open to reveal a disheveled but otherwise unharmed and very much alone Gavin Free.

“Dude, what the fuck?” Geoff demanded around ragged breaths, rubbing his shoulder in annoyance.

“Sorry…” Gavin responded, sheepishly holding up his duffel bag. “I thought my TV was a person, must’ve been the paranoia. I was going to call you back, but I looked out the window and you weren’t in your car. Figured you were coming up.”

Geoff stared at the Brit for several long moments, eyes narrowed in disbelief. He scanned the apartment behind Gavin suspiciously, but with nothing out of place, he couldn’t exactly prove that Gavin was lying. With a sigh, Geoff nodded and motioned for Gavin to get the fuck out and hurry up. “‘Kay. I can’t believe I ran for your sorry ass.”

“My bad, Geoff. Thanks, though.”

Despite Gavin’s cheeky grin, Geoff had a sneaking suspicion that there was something he was leaving out; but he chose not to push it, making his way to the elevator instead of the stairs this time.

Gavin was going to have a bloody heart attack before this man could even attempt to suck his blood out. His eyes were wide, wild, darting around the room for anything to get his hands on. In a clumsy reach, Gavin managed to snatch a knife from the block and hold it out to defend himself against the man who’d managed to sneak into his apartment.

“No- No, don’t do that, for the love of God, don’t -- agh. I’m not here to hurt you. Which… I guess might be hard to believe, but its true, and if you just put the knife away we can talk this out like men. Its really all just a big misunderstanding. Here, I brought you your wallet back.”

Gavin spluttered as the man tossed his wallet at him, brandishing the knife dangerously. He wasn’t dumb enough to let down his guard to catch it, and it fell uselessly to the floor. “You what? I saw you kill someone, you -- What’s to misunderstand? Get out, my friend is going to know what happened here, and he’ll call the police! I-I mean it.”

The other man held up his hands, like he was giving surrender, but Gavin didn’t buy it for a second. “I know, it seems all kinds of fucked up, but I’m not a serial killer, or a psychopath, or whatever other things might be going through your head. My name is Ryan Haywood, and I’m a vampire.”

Gavin blinked, gaze unfocused. His heart was still racing in his chest, breath coming in ragged pants, and he nearly jumped out of his own skin when he heard Geoff yelling on the other side of his door. Haywood looked surprised, but didn’t stop there.

“I know that that sounds pretty crazy, too. But I don’t want to kill you, and I don’t think you want to kill me. My threats before were just appearance, you know? Please - Let me explain myself. You haven’t called the police yet, so I’m holding out a little bit of hope, here. Harrington’s Bar, on the south side of town. Meet me there tonight, and I’ll explain it all. If it’s the police instead of you, I guess I’ll have my answer. But you won’t have yours.”

Gavin could only watch as Haywood made his way to the window, climbing out onto the fire escape with little complaint from him. Geoff’s banging was getting incessantly louder, so Gavin tucked the knife away and tried to compose himself before opening the door.

What the Christ just happened?

Gavin knew Geoff didn’t believe him.

Quite frankly, Gavin wasn’t sure why he’d lied about the whole thing. Maybe he wanted to keep Geoff safe; or maybe, Ryan Haywood had gotten into his head.

He’d always been curious by nature. He was infamous for asking his friends a plethora of hypothetical questions, or staying up until three in the morning watching documentaries he stumbled onto on Netflix. He had always wanted to know why, not just what, and that mentality was starting to bite him in the arse.

I’ll have my answer. But you won’t have yours. He was right, after all. Even if Gavin did as Geoff had suggested, and called the police; the nightmare would come to an end, but his own morbid curiosity and desire to know why would plague him for the rest of time. Sure, he was playing the role of judge, jury, and executioner all on his own, and that wasn’t fair. But people didn’t just suck blood for any reason - they had to have something going on in their head that made them act that way. He found the vampire gag to be a bit tacky, but if this Ryan Haywood thought that he was one, maybe he needed something other than solitary confinement.

The most pressing question of all was why he hadn’t killed Gavin.

Haywood had made some pretty nasty threats the first night they met, but had made no move against him. Even with Gavin helpless in his own apartment (anyone would look at Gavin wielding a knife and deem him still in need of assistance), Haywood had only wanted to talk. Sure, Gavin was still terrified, but the whole situation was chalking up to be something far more complicated, and he needed to know. It was eating him up inside.

His biggest problem was Geoff.

While he hadn’t said anything to Gavin about earlier, he was still watching him suspiciously. They’d had a serious argument in the car on the way home about the state of Gavin’s police calling, but he’d made a point about the location of the kill, the likelihood of someone else finding the body, and that it was better if Gavin stayed out of it for his own good.

Geoff wasn’t impressed, but Gavin had been far too adamant. Eventually, he’d deemed it a losing battle, but that hadn’t helped in the state of getting him to back off. As the day went on, Gavin came closer to deciding that he would humour a vampire serial killer over a pint (bollocks, he was insane, wasn’t he?), if only he could get past Geoff.

As it turned out, it hadn’t been as hard as he’d anticipated. One fake phone call later, and Gavin had his out.

“I’m going for drinks with Jeremy.” Gavin declared, shoving his newfound wallet into his back pocket with as fierce a look as he could manage when Geoff glanced up from his book. His smile was forced, because internally, Gavin was going a bit mental over his completely bloody insane idea to oblige a murderer.

“Are you sure that’s a good idea, dude?”

Gavin laughed, a little strained but generally convincing. “Yeah, Geoff, it’s fine. No need to worry about me. Besides, Lil J’s tough enough to take anyone on, if it comes to that.”

Geoff looked skeptical, but could find no retort strong enough to keep Gavin in line, so he heaved a sigh and turned back to his book. “Okay, man. Just -- Call me if you need something.”

Gavin was touched by his friend’s kindness, and felt more than a little guilty that he was lying to him. But he had questions he wanted answered, and he was going to a relatively popular bar with enough pairs of eyes to protect him. What Geoff didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

He departed with a salute, before hurrying out the door.

The cab ride to the bar felt far too long and much too short all at once, and Gavin might have marveled at the unique passing of time if he weren’t so bloody nervous. He’d started to wonder if this was more than a mistake and a half, and that perhaps he should have just turned around and called the police like a normal human being. Instead, he fidgeted with his phone in the backseat, and tried to keep up idle conversation with his cab driver despite the jitters that made his voice shake.

Stepping out of the cab and into the bar, was the toughest thing Gavin had ever done in his entire life. His fingers were shaking, his heart racing, his head pounding. With a deep breath, he pushed open the front door and marched inside with all the confidence he could muster.

Finding Haywood was easier than he’d expected, the man lounging in a booth in casual attire, sipping from a glass of dark liquid. Gavin thought the scene was rather obscure, not at all befitting a murderer. He appreciated the publicity of the booth, though, and it was enough to keep his legs moving.

Haywood glanced up as Gavin approached, a faint smirk accompanied by a contrasting surprised quirk of his brow. Gavin clenched his fists, slid into the booth, and glared at the other man despite the sound of his own pulse in his ears.

“Glad you could make it. I don’t hear sirens, so I’ll take that as a sign.” Haywood said softly, placing his glass back on the table with a clink. The casual tone with which he spoke infuriated Gavin, and gave him the fire he needed to spit back.

“You have five smegging minutes. I want to know what your side of the story is, I want to know why you killed someone, and why you think you’re a bloody vampire. I want to know, so I can decide whether to call the cops now, or alert those thugs over there instead.”

Haywood nodded, expression surprisingly calm for someone being threatened - even if it was by a lanky British bloke with pupils blown wide in fear. “Sounds fair enough. Let’s start with the most prevalent bit, yeah? I am a vampire. It’s a part of me as much as that stupid British accent is a part of you.”

Gavin scoffed, shaking his head. “You’re sick, then, is that it? You’re mental, and you think you’re a vampire, so you kill people for their blood. You need help, vampires don’t exist, and that’s not an excuse for murder!”

Haywood flinched as Gavin’s voice grew louder, his hand rising to get him to quiet down. “Yeah, I know that sounds nuts. But I’m not a murderer - Not by choice. What you saw was… I got sloppy, things got messy, and I’m sorry you witnessed it. But its the truth. I can’t control this, and I didn’t ask for it.”

Gavin laughed again, this time a higher pitched noise that verged on hysterical, because Jesus Effin’ Christ, was he actually entertaining this at all? Coming here had obviously been a mistake, he should have known better. “I don’t -- I don’t want your bloody sob story, because you’ve made the whole thing up in your head. You actually think - I’m not going to buy into a vampire story, mate, you need to get -”

“I can prove it.”

Gavin hesitated, head shaking slowly in disbelief. Haywood looked dead serious, but he supposed that happened when someone was living so deep inside a delusion. He opened his mouth again to protest, but Haywood was already reaching for the steak knife on the table. Gavin froze, eyes wide and fear spiking in his heart, and he needed to move, get out of the booth, because this man was really going to stab him right here in the bar and --

Haywood brought the knife to his palm and cut a decent sized slice into the skin there. Crimson oozed between his fingers, and it took every bit of willpower Gavin had not to retch. He could hardly force himself to look, but the other man spoke again and his words caught the Brit’s attention.

“Give this five minutes, and the wound will have stopped bleeding. It’ll look like a week old cut, not a fresh, open wound. It’s because my body heals faster - It’s the immortality.”

Gavin’s eyes were wide, still disbelieving. When he said nothing, Ryan tried again. “That man over there? He’s ordering a gin and tonic. I know, because I can hear him clear as day. Watch -”

They watched in silence until several moments later, the waitress returned to the man across the bar with the exact drink Ryan had predicted. Gavin shook his head. “You got a lucky guess in. Anyone could have ordered a gin and tonic, that’s not --”

“Look.” Ryan ordered, dabbing at his bloody hand with a napkin until the crimson had cleared. Where a sizable wound should have been was a half sealed slice, one that looked several days old, not several minutes. Gavin felt his heart begin to race again, head shaking more firmly than before, but he couldn’t deny what was in front of him.

“It’s a trick…” Gavin mumbled, leaning as far back in his seat as he could, to get away from the other man. “It’s fake, prosthetics or something… You’re insane, you’re not a--”

“You’re not going to believe me because you don’t want to, not because it isn’t real. Look at my hand, look at the evidence, look at the fact that I haven’t killed you despite how easy you’ve made it. I don’t want to kill - I don’t like to kill. I do it because I don’t have a choice, because of this god damn curse. I can’t fix it because everyone does exactly what you’re doing. They don’t believe, and if they do, they want to hunt me down for it.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Gavin whispered, swallowing down the lump that formed in his throat. “Why do you… Why do you want me to know? I haven’t called the police yet, you don’t have any reason to believe…”

Haywood sighed, running a hand through his hair, suddenly looking exhausted. “Because I’m not a bad person, and I figure the person who witnessed that trainwreck should be able to compress some of the horror of it into bite-sized chunks.”

“You can’t be a… They’re not real. They can’t be real.”

Ryan shrugged. “It’d be nice if they weren’t. I’d be fifty six, if they weren’t. Physically, at least. I guess I’ve technically still be alive for fifty six years. I could be married and have kids, but that’s hard to do when you’re struck with uncontrollable bloodlust every few weeks. I know it seems impossible. Sometimes it still feels impossible. But I can’t control it, or deny it, and you might actually be a lot safer knowing that we’re out there.”

Gavin swallowed. “What? So I can wear garlic and carry a bloody stake around with me? That sounds ridiculous. This all sounds ridiculous.”

Ryan flashed a smile, and Gavin could have sworn his canines looked sharper than normal - But that could have easily been a part of the psychotic delusion, where he’d worn down his own teeth to resemble a vampire… Couldn’t it? Maybe Gavin was just reading into it too much.

“How do you think it feels, walking around being something that people think sparkles? Pretty fucking stupid.” Ryan asked, laughing to himself although it sounded bitter. “The garlic thing isn’t true, but a good stake to the heart would kill anyone.”

“You would kill anyone.” Gavin retorted. “Even if this is true… You still kill people. I don’t care what the reason is, that’s still murder. You don’t seriously expect me to just forget that, do you?”

Ryan shook his head, expertly hiding his own grimace. “No. You’re right, after all. It’s still murder. But I guess this is me saying you don’t have to worry about me exacting any revenge. I don’t kill in cold blood, and I don’t kill because it’s fun. I’m a hunter. I do what I can to stay alive.”

When Gavin didn’t say anything, Ryan pulled out a piece of paper from one pocket, and a pen from another, scribbling a set of digits down that Gavin quickly realized were a phone number.

“Here. I know you’re probably confused as all hell, and you need some time to mull it over. But if you need to know more… If you call the police, I guess I can’t say I don’t blame you, but I’ll be skipping town before they can find me, and it’ll be for naught. I wish I had more proof, but sadly, being a vampire isn’t exactly all its cracked up to be.”

Gavin scrambled from the booth, eyes wide and confused. He stared at Ryan for several long moments, unsure of what to say. The entire situation had gone tits up, and he wasn’t sure what to think or believe. Finally, he offered the other man a nod, snatched up the paper, and hurried from the bar without another word.

#freewood #ragehappy #vampire au #my fic

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