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peterstanslizzie · 4 years

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Reacting To: The Hollow (Season 2 Episode 2)

Episode Title: Hollow Games

Key Highlights (Spoiler Warning): Kindly proceed if you’ve already seen the episode or simply don’t care about spoilers.

This episode was amazingly gay, wasn’t it? Let’s begin:

1. The episode picks up where things left off in episode 1. Our favorite trio are being cornered by their greatest childhood fears.

2. Mira decides to confront Adam’s fears for him and the rest of them follow her lead with Adam taking on Mabel, the giant chicken and Kai taking on creepy doll. The guys take on a physical approach but Mira tries to reason with the bullies. Unfortunately, none of their methods are working.

3. Amidst all of this, we find out that Mira has an older sister on top of her younger brother, Miles.

4. At one point, Adam is pinned down by Mabel with its foot and Kai sees that he’s in trouble and goes to rescue him.

5. Kai yells and tells Mabel that he’s not afraid of it and as it’s about to charge right at him, it disintegrates. I like how Kai is the one to save Adam this time around instead of the opposite because it’s usually Adam who saves him. Basically, they discover that facing their own fears is the way to go. Well, it’s pretty obvious, no? But it seems a little too easy for all of them to conquer their fears by just yelling at them. Oh well...

6. After the showdown, they head back to Kai’s big mansion to make sense of what’s happening to them. During their discussion, Kai seems to regret having had a crush on Mira because she’s Miles’s sister. What’s the deal with her brother, Miles? Oh right, we’ll find out later in the episode.

7. Hold up, hold up, hold up! Kai still thinks that Adam and Mira have a ‘thing’ for each other and he doesn’t want to get in between them. Is this going where I think it’s going?

8. OMFG!!! Stop everything! Drop everything. Kai said “I’m gay”. He said the word GAY. And he said it so casually! I didn’t expect this coming out to happen so early on in the season. I love it! Kai’s reaction was cute and totally chill. But poor Mira almost had forgotten that she actually kissed Adam. She apologizes to him and blames it on the memory block she had due to the game. Sure Mira :)

9. But seriously; It’s pretty clear Mira knew that he was gay all along and I’m sure if she had her memories with her at that time, she wouldn’t have kissed him. Oh and Adam is aware he’s attractive. Of course he is! How can anyone resist someone who is as tall, dark and handsome as he is.

10. I’m smiling so hard right now. But anyways, back to the situation at hand; They’re now talking about the glitch they saw when they were playing the game (back in season 1) and how the glitch was able to create such an accurate depiction of their lives. Adam thinks that they’re now on Level 2 of ‘The Hollow’ but Mira isn’t buying that theory. Master Kai still thinks it’s all a dream. Will he just stop?! LOL

11. They call for The Weird Guy’s help but nothing happened. Mira thinks they should look for him at The Hollow Games studio. But before they could all leave for the studio, they’re stopped by Davis, Kai’s butler. He insists that Miles should head to bed and that Mira and Adam leave the mansion.

12. If you look closely at his sleeves, the initials K P are on it. That means Kai’s last name starts with a P. I wonder what it is? Maybe it’s Parnall for Connor Parnall, the voice actor for Kai? I think it’s adorable how he says, “Silly Adam” before going to bed.

13. Mira drops Adam outside his home but she’s too wary of everything that’s happening around them and isn’t convinced that Adam should trust his parents and stay with them. I completely understand Mira. She really wants everything to be solved asap and she wants to go to the studio to see The Weird Guy tonight. But there are too many uncertainties and she has to consider what both Adam and Kai want as well. She also feels like she can’t trust Adam because she doesn’t know if he’s real or part of the game mechanics.

14. On the other hand, Adam thinks that they’re on Level 2 of the game and they just need to live like they usually do and wait for quests or challenges to appear before them. It’s sad to watch them argue. I guess that’s how being in a complex game/experiment-thingy does to your mind; You can’t help but to come up with any sort of scenario.

15. Okay, so we now know that Mira and Adam are actually childhood best friends prior to starting the game. They even carved their initials on a sidewalk.

16. Remember in my episode 1 review when I said Adam’s mom is creepy. This scene right here takes the entire cake for me. *Shudders

17. Adam is busy searching for clues in his room and finds a Moby Dick book but with completely blank pages. How strange. This world is really messed up. Mira is driving through town and sees Skeet speed-running on the streets. This should be interesting. Since last season, I’ve always thought of Skeet to potentially work with the main trio one day since he was so reluctant to fight them. We shall see what happens deeper into the season.

18. The next morning, Adam and Kai meet up outside the donut shop and Kai is freaking out because he says he hasn’t woken up from his dream. He tells him about a new theory he has to explain why everyone is acting so weird: an Alien Invasion. I honestly can believe any explanation at this point because everything is so messed up.

19. Mira didn’t show up and they become worried. They walk over to Mira’s house and ring the doorbell. It’s Miles! And he immediately recognizes Kai. Miles and Kai seem to be gaming buddies.

QUESTION: I’m now wondering about how long Kai has known Mira and Adam prior to ‘The Hollow’. I guess he could be childhood friends with them too?

20. Adam thinks that Mira probably went to the Hollow Games studio last night and they make their way over there. They are stopped by a security guard who doesn’t even know what building she’s guarding and isn’t aware of ‘The Hollow’. I guess this supports my theory that only current game players know what ‘The Hollow’ is.

21. Is it just me or does Adam always feels like he has to touch Kai in some way or form, every chance he gets? I’m not complaining though.

22. Darla is hilarious and I totally stan her. We need to see more from her and her ex, Steve. Apparently Reeve is or was friends with Adam and Mira in real life. From my understanding, all three of them were in a team (for The Hollow?) before something happened and they had to recruit Kai as his replacement. I love all the backstory we’re getting. This season is doing a good job with that. And this explains the picture of the 3 of them in Adam’s room last episode. It’s such a contrast because they were kinda direct enemies last season.

23. They sneak into the building to find Mira and they’re pretty sure she’s in there because her scooter is parked outside.

24. It looks like it’s ‘The Hollow’ champions wall. We see a picture of Gretchen Aguilar and her team but no sign of Adam, Mira and Kai on that wall. This further confirms their suspicion that they haven’t actually won the game yet.

25. They head to the stage room where the participants would wear their VR-looking googles and play ‘The Hollow’. Kai trips on a cable that he suspects is connected to a server room that powers the game. But Adam calls him from what it appears to be the control room as he is looking through files to gather more information.

26. After surviving a random and sudden earthquake, they come across the server room but they are swarmed by a bunch of laser-shooting bots. They barricade themselves inside the room, which has a broken wall that leads to a big portal. They suspect that Mira jumped through that very portal.

27. Adam isn’t sure if they should enter that portal but time is running out and they need to make a decision fast.

28. Any excuse to touch Kai huh? He is so smitten by him (I need to stop lol)

29. The episode ends with the two of them literally taking a leap of faith into the portal. Stay tuned for my reaction to episode 3, which will be out very soon. BTW y’all, I’m still not over Adam’s coming out scene to Kai! Cue me replaying that scene over and over again.

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isuzukuretsuki · 5 years

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Ikemen Revolution - Lancelot’s Route

Aight I did a review with my awful commentary for Sirius; I might as well do one for Lancelot since I just finished his route. Unfortunately this ended up being WAYY longer than the one I did for Sirius so there’s gonna be a lot of walls of texts with just my awful commentary. Sorry! To anyone that actually gets through the massive walls of text, I respect you.

Somehow, Alice gets pawned off to a nameless no face body guard as she strolls around the streets because the Black Army guys are busy having a movie night or something. And you know what happens when your body guard is nameless and faceless. BASICALLY: it’s as if he doesn’t exist!

And what do you know, their lovely intimate getaway is interrupted by none other than Edgar, our favourite, friendly neighborhood kidnapper (of Lance’s route) who threatens to cut the poor chap into bits and pieces unless Alice comes with him.

Our snarky escort drags Alice by the hair as she kicks and screams brings her back to Red Army HQ where she meets Lancelot.

First (or second) meeting and they are clearly hitting it off great because the first thing Lance does is grab Alice and starts singing “Santa Claus Is Coming to Town”.

But huh what does this remind me of.

Oh.

(He sees you when you’re sleeping; he knows when you’re awake). Totally not creepy!

Lancelot essentially puts Alice in total house arrest where she’s locked up in her bedroom that’s connected with his so he can watch her every move (◉◞౪◟◉｀) . He even flaunts his authority by pinning her on the bed and almost kissing her (too bad doing that is more likely gonna make me horny on main that scared but whatever).

But it’s all good because this door will later come into use in the route when Lance tries to lock Alice out of his room to mope alone but Alice just strolls in through his side door and goes like “’sup” and he’s like “fuck I forgot that door existed”.

HOLDS YOU....

Considering how the King, Queen and Jack are a triple combo of assholes, at least Zero is there to give our poor heroine some much needed comfort and friendship. I find it hilarious how Alice’s sad ass has been dumped into Red Army HQ by Edgar and Kyle and Zero are just like “oh yea just another Tuesday with Edgar, but hey, let’s be friends!”

Because Alice ranked up her social link with Zero and Kyle, she gets special privileges now: she is allowed to walk around the Red Army HQ now, because being cooped up in a bedroom 24/7 is just dreadful! (As if that’s not what I do everyday anyway!)

Unfortunately her new found happiness doesn’t last long because the SAME FACELESS NAMELESS BODY GUARD FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE ROUTE makes a reappearance-- he tries to rescue Alice... alone! 🤦

Since this poor chap is nameless and faceless and thus does not have any plot armor, his rescue plan fails miserably as he’s brought to kneel before King Lancelot. The man deadass shish kabobs the poor soldier as Alice screams in horror and shock as blood spews everyone. Later, Alice decides to go down into the basement dungeon to check for herself if the soldier is really dead.... and if he’s not well I guess she can just watch him bleed to death then. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

She goes down just in time to see the soldier perfectly safe as Lancelot wipes his memory and sets him free. Huh maybe he’s not the Actual Worst after all. Somehow, Lancelot stabbed his hand instead of the soldier which I have NO IDEA how that’s supposed to work LOL!

The Black Army finally realize that letting a faceless nameless nobody protect Alice probably wasn’t the best idea and they demand that the Red Army return Alice to them or there will be consequences (◉◞౪◟◉｀). While the Red Army soldiers are totally ready for a head on confrontation so they can shish kabob some Black Army soldiers for reals, Alice decides that she can’t leave this sexy man aka Lancelot alone and chooses to stay.

Lancelot’s all like “why tf are you still here” when he realizes that Alice chose to stay, but decides not to think too hard about it and makes up some bullshit lie about how the Black Army surrendered Alice to them, which of course the nameless soldiers eat up blindly because it seems like nobody in this damn army aside from the main five can think for themselves へ‿(ツ)‿ㄏ

Alice continues leveling up her social links with all the pretty bois and so she pretty much goes from their prisoner to their ward. You go girl.

All the Red Army boys take a liking to Alice and they become the best of buds and it’s the sweetest thing ever! The only one left for Alice to rank up her social link with is Lancelot himself and so Alice starts cooking for Lancelot along with Jonah whos his number 1 fanboy lmao. Because clearly the way to win over an ice cold heartless king is through his stomach. Lancelot eventually begins to warm up to her and evolves from an asshole to a giant tsundere (ღ˘⌣˘ღ). And what do you know, her cooking for him actually had an effect because soon Lancelot realizes that he loves her.

My favourite part of this route was honestly the annual ball because the Red Army folks are all fancy pants. Since Lancelot is the sexiest man in the entire army, he has a line of women just itching to be his dance partner. Jonah, being Lance’s number 1 fanboy, can’t accept giving his King over to some sleazy tramp (pardon my language I’ve been playing too much Danganronpa Despair Girls), so he makes all the women line up for fucking interviews. 😂😂😂

Man and I thought Jumin was bad enough for making his marriage candidates hand in resumes.

Jonah reels Edgar and Alice into helping him conduct the interviews but in the end Edgar and Alice are just chilling in the back of the room while Jonah rips each and every woman a new one for the most trivial of reasons. NO WONDER NONE OF THE RED ARMY BOYS HAVE WIVES.

Pretty soon they end up in a pickle because Jonah ended up rejecting every single woman who showed up to the interview! This plays out exactly how any shoujo manga would and Alice ends up being appointed by Jonah as Lancelot’s dance partner. The dance actually turns out to be great and romantic and Lancelot is surprisingly gentlemanly despite spending the first quarter of his route being an insufferable jackass but hey, I guess that’s what love does!

Unfortunately, the magic cult goons sense the love in the air and decide it’s time to interfere because no one can be happy on their watch! While Alice and Zero are out strolling about, the magic cult goons crash the party and beat poor Zero to a bloody pulp and kidnap Alice. Alice is taken to Amon’s sex dungeon where the maniac reveals that Lancelot and him are in cahoots but Alice is all like “no way fam Lancelot has better tastes than this”. Thankfully Lancelot arrives just in time to rescue our princess and they book it out of the Magic Tower.

Meanwhile back HQ, Jonah wonders if the Black Army is responsible for attacking Zero but Edgar has his doubts. Oh well, Edgar’s doubts don’t flipping matter because ZERO’S FUCKING SQUAD GOES TO ATTACK THE BLACK ARMY ANYWAY WITHOUT ORDERS because they assume the Black Army is responsible with absolutely NO EVIDENCE! .+:｡(ﾉ･ω･)ﾉﾞ

WHAT THE HELL DOES NO ONE IN THIS FUCKING ARMY THINK FOR THEMSELVES?!?! WHAT’S UP WITH ALL DUMBASS SCENARIOS OF THESE SOLDIERS RUNNING ROGUE WITHOUT AUTHORITY. I think the whole “crimson glory” shtick is starting to get to the heads of these blood thirsty hooligans.

Lancelot hears the news and rushes out to the battle field to thwart Zero’s squad’s attack ONLY TO OFFICIALLY DECLARE WAR ON THE BLACK ARMY RIGHT AFTER (((φ(◎ロ◎;)φ))). All the Red Army leaders are like ??????????? while the nameless soldiers are busting a nut in anticipation and excitement.

Anyway Lancelot passes out due to using too much magic (again) and Kyle shits bricks (again) over his condition. After Lancelot awakens, Alice demands the truth from Lancelot and finally Lancelot spills his token tragic backstory to Alice, about how Amon is threatening the lives of his friends and soldiers unless Lancelot can absorb the Black Army into the Red.

Thankfully, Alice has a good head on her shoulders and realizes that Lancelot is going to use the war to distract Amon and then confront Amon alone to take him out. She freaks out because Lancelot really will fucking die this time (supposedly!) and tries to stop him but Lancelot locks her out of his bedroom so he can mope alone. Alice takes advantage of their rooms being connected and strolls in through their connecting door all like “ta-da, I’m here bitch” much to Lance’s chagrin.

She cries and begs him not to confront Amon alone because she doesn’t want him die. Clearly the emotional heartache and heartbreak that both parties are going through sets the atmosphere for sexy time and they end up spending the night going bow chicka wow wow instead of.... having a proper and long overdue conversation to resolve the issue at hand smh. The next day rolls around and LANCELOT ERASES HER MEMORIES OF HIM. щ(ಥДಥщ)

THIS FUCKER LITERALLY JUST SUCKED TITTY AND BOUNCED. (ノಠ益ಠ)ノ彡┻━┻

The day of the war as well as the full moon arrives and Lancelot fetches Jonah to escort Alice to the gates of hell garden portal. They arrive early and Jonah decides to kill time by telling her of a ~romantic~ fairy tale about how a prince went deaf and mute but regained his voice and hearing after his lady gave him a white rose.

(*TEARS UP* I’m a basic bitch that likes cheesy flower language in her otomes okay don’t judge me.)

Clearly Lancelot sucks at casting magic spells because the moment Alice sees the white rose the amnesia spell on her breaks and she regains her memories of Lancelot (wow that was easy). She spills the beans about Amon and his weed stash to Jonah and Jonah decides to bring Alice to the magic tower because no one messes with his king! I really liked how Jonah was respectful of Alice’s thoughts and opinions and didn’t just shove her into the portal before looking for Lancelot on his own (SIRIUS TAKE NOTES).

Lancelot confronts Amon and tells him that he’s already killed all the lackies that had access to Amon’s weed stash-- all that’s left is to kill Amon himself! Well despite the heroic shounen declarations, it ends pretty miserably because Lancelot gets his ass handed to him by this sad sack and when Amon is about release the final spell to kill Lancelot, Alice bursts into the room like a badass............and takes the shot full on 🤦🤦.

She crumples to the ground and now Lancelot is real pissed but hey at least the rage numbed the pain of his wounds because he stands up and pretty much destroys Amon in less than a second LOL.

Lancelot brings Alice back to the HQ while Jonah goes to stop the war since Amon’s dead and OH BOY KYLE REALLY FLIPS HIS SHIT because both Alice and Lancelot are an absolute hot mess. But since Alice’s wounds were inflicted with magic, Lancelot decides to use his remaining magic to heal her. Kyle tries to stop him going like “you’re gonna die you dimwit!!! (╬⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾ Д ⁽⁽ ⁰ ⁾⁾)” but Lance once again gives no fucks and is all like “I’m not gonna die! you’re here! :D” and proceeds to start healing Alice while Kyle rages in the background for the 20th time in the route.

Kyle @ everyone in this route.

Alice finally wakes up after a three day coma. Kyle’s fuse has been long overdue and it finally blows. He flips a table and rants about how much stress and heartache she and Lancelot both caused him. ((o(;△;)o))

NOOOOO I’M SO SORRY KYLE PLEASE DON’T CRY I LOVE YOU.

Alice leaves the room while Kyle just cries tears of joy because can finally catch a break (god damn this man deserves a raise and a vacation). Alice is greeted by the other Red Army bois who are ecstatic that she didn’t kick the bucket and it’s honestly the most sweetest and heart warming reunion ever ・゜・(ノД`).

HOLDS YOU ALL.................. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I CAN’T EVEN START. I WILL DIE FOR YOU ALL.

Too bad Lancelot’s reaction to Alice’s awakening isn’t as great OTL.

Jonah brings Alice to see Lancelot (whos somehow alive) and he’s hella mad that Alice risked her life to protect him but Alice fires back that he tried to do the same and in the end they both get all mushy and make up.

BITCH THEN HOW ARE YOU ALIVE LMAO?? I don’t get this because it’s been stated over and over again that Lancelot will die if he uses up all his magic powers but clearly he’s alive and kicking! Did he survive through the power of love? WHO KNOWS LOL!

oof right in the feels.

Romantic Ending:

Alice continues cooking for Lancelot with Jonah (they’re so precious!). The Red Army boys tease Alice for her relationship with Lancelot; which Alice then realizes..... they’re not actually officially dating!

(CUE SIRIUS ROUTE FLASHBACKS COMING AT FULL SPEED).

THAT’S NOT A TRAIT TO BE PROUD OF LANCELOT.

I’m not the only one to freak out because so do all the Red Army boys!! They obviously can’t accept this so they arrange a date for Alice and Lancelot like the wingbros they are. Alice and Lancelot meet in the garden where they hug and confess their undying love for each other. ♥(ˆ⌣ˆԅ)

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Honestly I’m gonna admit, I think Lancelot got overshadowed by all the other Red Army boys in his own route.... mainly Jonah lmao. I like the dynamic between Lancelot and Alice at first but I wasn’t really feeling their relationship development towards the end and the suck titty and bounce stunt that Lancelot pulled really miffed me. Like I don’t mind sex scenes in a romance story but there’s a time and place for them you know? And when they’re randomly thrown in to substitute for actual communication it feels awkward. IDK maybe I’m just a prude who hates smut ROFL. Not to mention the amnesia shtick right after felt really trippy.

HOWEVER I did really like his romantic ending! It was well... really romantic lmao?? (what are words).

I loved the relationship between Alice and all the other boys! It was a joy to see her become incredibly close with all of them. I think you really see the best of each of the Red Army boys’ characters in Lancelot’s route as they all develop a friendship with Alice and grow to care for her. I wasn’t really a fan of the Red Army aside from Jonah at first but now I can say that I will die for them.

As for Lancelot himself, I’m honestly surprised as to how much I’ve grown to like him when I didn’t like him at all at first. I love the complexity of his character and his whole “I can just be an ordinary man” REALLY got to me ugh.

Anywayyy his route was good, but not the best imo. I liked it a lot more than Sirius’s but Jonah’s route is still easily the best route for me. I’m moving onto Fenrir’s route now! I just have his, Edgar and Ray’s left to do.

#ellie plays ikerev terribly #ellie plays #ikemen revolution #lancelot kingsley

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harrycook · 6 years

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June 12th 2018 was my 27th birthday.

Here are 27 things I feel like I have learnt about life so far:

1. Don’t Argue With Stupid People.

You get nowhere. It’s like playing scrabble with a dog, no matter how well you play, the dog will end up shitting on the board and walking away like he won anyway.

2. Eat The Damn Cake.

Yes I know that eating right and exercise is important for your health, but if you are in the vicinity of a cake or delicious bite of something, just eat it.

3. Working Is A Part Of Life, Not The Entirety Of Life.

Unless you adore what you do for a living and it is your pasison and life’s mission, take a deep breath and don’t take it all so seriously. At the end of the day, a job is to pay the bills and have pocket money to go and enjoy yourself when you’re not working. Unless you are genuinely passionate about your career, don’t sweat it. Don’t break your back worrying about a job that would replace you within a week if you dropped dead.

4. Don’t Take Anything Seriously, Seriously.

Unless you are performing open heart surgery or have the cure for cancer in your back pocket, lighten the fuck up. No matter what your job is, ask yourself if it will matter in 100 years? If not, giggle and let it go. The world won’t stop spinning if you miss a deadline or make a mistake. Breathe. It’s all good.

5. Ignorance Is A Choice.

Yes. It’s 2018. There is no excuse for ignorance or stupidity when we have more information on our phones than a public library. If you don’t understand something, research it. Pick up a book, scan the internet, question everything, especially the news. Be curious, ask questions and most of all, don’t be lazy. Educate yourself so the world can be full of kinder, more worldly individuals who know what they are talking about.

6. Throw Away Anything You Thought You Knew That Doesn’t Sit Well With Your Values.

We grow up in a society that feeds us garbage from the moment we enter the world. Boys are taught to be one way and girls are taught to be another. It’s a system that hasn’t changed in hundreds of years because society wants us to constantly keep within the mold. Screw that. Break the mold and let people be who they want to be. Go after a job you want, not what society wants for you. Travel, see the world, stop worrying about what everyone else is doing and go after the stuff that means something to you.

7. Laugh At Every Chance You Get.

Nothing beats a good belly laugh. Plus, it’s also extremely healthy. Laugh as often as you can. This goes straight back to the not taking anything seriously thing. Giggle more. It works wonders for the soul.

8. Get A Hobby.

The past year I have picked up the piano again (not literally 'picked it up', obviously, but started learning again), attempted to learn Spanish, set a goal of reading a book a fortnight (up to book 25) and started working out a minimum of three times a week. Each year older I start realising how quickly time goes and how many amazing things are at my disposal to learn or try.

9. Read The News, Then Read It Again, And Then Research Some More.

Don't take anything at face value. Just because the news tells you one thing, don't take it as gospel. These news shows are run by multibillionaire white men and corporations with agendas. Don't take it at face value. Look in to things. Read as much as you can and become your own private investigator for the truth. Just because a news show says something, doesn't make it fact.

10. Read More.

Nothing opens up the heart and mind more than a good book. The excuse of not having enough time to read doesn't cut it. Instead of watching an hour of Netflix, take an hour to open a good book. It's good for the soul. Trust me.

11. Get A Pet.

YASSSSSSS. Get a dog. Then get another dog. Then when you think you simply can't handle the amount of snuggles you are getting, get another dog!! In all seriousness, dogs are extremely good for your health. They reduce stress and anxiety, boost happiness and are wonderful snuggle buddies. Adopt don't shop! There are plenty of rescue animals in need of good homes.

12. Sometimes People Hurt You. It Sucks.

Yes. Sometimes the people you never in a bazillion years thought could hurt you, will hurt you terribly. I had an experience in recent years with extended family that completely shifted my entire outlook on people in general. Sadly, some of the people you think you know are far from what you think. It sucks, yes, but once you acknowledge it, it slowly stops hurting. You can move on with your life when you realise that sometimes a wake-up call is all you need to realise that you're better off without certain people in your life. And that's totally ok.

13. Log Off. Often.

The age of social media is WONDERFUL for so many reasons. Keeping in contact with people, viewing beautiful content, learning things with a click and the hours and hours of streamable content are all fantastic reasons to use social media. But on the flip side, it can also be an information overload and I highly advise switching off, taking a bath and leaving your phone somewhere away from you for a few hours. It can't be healthy getting a constant stream of negative news 24/7. So unplug. Those cute puppy pics will be there when you get back.

14. Exercise.

I know, I know, YUCK. Exercise isn't the most fun of activities, and I am the first to admit that whenever I heard someone say "but the endorphins are good for your happiness levels" I'd roll my eyes so far back in my head I could see my brain. But it's completely and utterly true. Just a 40 minute run 3 times a week has improved my mood ten fold. I've suffered with depression, anxiety and addiction for years, but exercise allows me to completely refresh and enjoy the day on a belly full of endorphins. Do it for the feeling you get, not to achieve some unattainable body. It works a treat. Trust me.

15. Napping Is AMAZING.

Yes. Napping is one of the best damn things to do. Nothing beats an afternoon nap. It refreshes you for the rest of the day and is a great way to reboot the system. Don't let people tell you otherwise. It's bloody fantastic.

16. Journal.

I've written a journal since I was ten years old and looking back on all the adventures, worries, achievements and memories throughout the years is something I cherish so incredibly much. Studies have shown that journalling is really healthy for the mind and soul. Grab a notebook and get doodling.

17. Take Photos.

If taking selfies is your thang, go for it. If taking pictures of trees, animals or the sunset gets you going, snap away. Taking photos is therapeutic for a number of reasons, but most of all it's a lovely way to document your life with things to look back on. Get snapping.

18. Never Think You Know It All.

It's easy to be arrogant when we are conditioned all our lives with things we are expected to believe. "Boys should do this", "girls should do that". But just because we've been taught it from a society that has never been challenged to think differently, doesn't make it right. Question everything. Stay curious. Look into things and don't dismiss stuff you know nothing about. Not only is it a really ugly personality trait, it gets you nowhere in life. Opening your mind and heart is a surefire way of experiencing life in all its' beauty.

19. Go After What You Want In Life.

Jim Carey did a graduation speech about his father who never went after his dreams because he wanted to do the ‘safe thing'. Have a 'stable' career that would provide for his family. From memory, his father failed and lost everything in his 'stable' career. The moral being that if you are going to fail at something, at least let it be something you love, because the fact is it is just as possible to fail at something you hate. Give it a go. Life is too short to not go after what you want.

20. Travel. Travel. Travel.

See the world. It'll show you that we humans are all the same. It replaces ignorance with knowledge and shows you how vast our planet is. Get out there.

21. Someone Who Is Nice To You But Not Nice To The Waiter Is Not A Nice Person.

I love this quote because it's so damn true. Don't be a dick to service people. Don't think you're better than anyone because you're not. End of story. Period.

22. Get Over Yourself.

Sort of a continuation of the above, this is just a reminder to get over yourself, have a giggle and realise that just because you have a fancy car, a nice suit or well manicured hands means absolutely sweet F.A. Being a good person, showing kindness, empathy and caring about the planet and human beings as a whole is what counts in my books. Just be a good person. It's that simple.

23. Tell Your Loved Ones You Love Them And Don’t Go To Bed Angry.

Pretty self explanatory this one, but all the same, something to remember constantly. Life is far too short to go to bed angry at someone. Throw away silly arguments and tell the people you care about how you feel.

24. Screw What People Think Of You.

I mean it. Who cares what someone else thinks of you? That's their stuff. How they perceive you and how they feel about you is none of your business. Water off a ducks' back. Let it go.

25. Try Not To Worry So Much.

I know. Easier said than done, but sometimes it helps to take a step back, take a deep breath in and ask a few key questions: Can I do anything to change the current situation? If yes, do it. If not, let it go. Breathe through it and remember all we ever have is right in this moment.

26. Meditate.

YASSSSSSSSS times a million. Meditating is one of the most powerful things I have ever learnt in my 27 years on this planet. Taking a moment to just sit and reflect and focus on the here and now is one of the most intensely wonderful ways of reconnecting to what matters. There are a million different apps you can use or simply sit and count your breaths. It works wonders.

27. Life is what you make it, but most of all it’s about love.

Love, family, friends and making memories is the most important thing in life. Every year on this earth I realise more and more how utterly stupid it is to worry about material things. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't enjoy material stuff whatsoever, but it shouldn't be what you go after in life. Nobody ever gets to the end of their life clutching on to their Chanel bag. The things that matter are the people you love and the memories you make.

So go for a walk, take in the view, have a laugh and breathe in every moment of every day. It's all we ever have.

- Harry.

#blog #blogger #life #lifeblog #blogs #read #writer #write #writing #truth #true #sotrue #lifelessons #too true #blogging #life blog #life lesson #lifestyle

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cyanidefilledcandy · 6 years

Text

So,

A month or so ago, I had finally made the decision to take my best friend up on his offer to move in with him and also maybe even take a break. In all honesty, it’s something I should’ve done a while ago; like.....3 years ago awhile ago. But, I was holding out the hope that my hard word would be rewarded and that I would at least have the opportunity for a promotion I honestly deserved. Not the case...

The past few months at work have been horrendous. Not just because we’re short staffed, but from the way I and others have been treated.

I spoke briefly on the situation with my boss. Not only was he falsely accused of sexual harassment with evidence that proved the contrary; not only did he lose pay and it’s costing him money he uses to take care of his house, sons, and mother; but they wouldn’t even let him take over the store he wanted. It’s a store he’s wanted for a while that is close to home, instead making him take one that’s TWICE the drive the other two stores were. This is how he’s treated after 23 years of PHENOMENAL service. That’s not even an exaggeration. This man worked so hard and made SO much money for these people. Typically, in any given Kroger, the meat department make up about 2% of the store’s total sales. Ours made up 12% on average and it was steadily growing. Doesn’t matter... When this incident first happened, I had wondered if it was some kind of conspiracy against him to get him fired. Our grocery department has been at odds with us ever since we kept bringing up to management our concerns about literally being harassed and verbally assaulted by their frozen lead (a guy who should’ve never gotten the position any way considering he was insubordinate and doing the exact same thing to his deli leads when he first started (all women). So, they gave him a promotion...) Well, with the new store manager, allegedly, something was going to be done about that....and they didn’t like that. So, why not frame the guy who is causing them trouble, a man who has been a dear friend to them for over 20 years, for something horrible like sexual harassment?

So, right after, I had to take up the mantle, which I honestly didn’t mind. I hated the situation with a passion, and I honestly wouldn’t have taken a promotion anyway. I had been talking about seriously leaving the store (maybe even company) behind since before this incident. I’ve should’ve left long ago, but my mind was made up the day my store manager put me in the hospital from a panic attack.

So, we’re GROSSLY understaffed (we always have been), despite having good numbers, doing a ABSURD amount of work by hand, and most importantly, doing absolutely ridiculous things for customers that most stores just outright refuse to do (hell, they won’t even do simple things). But, we soldier on and do the best that we can. Again, I don’t mind as much because I love the chance to showcase what I can do, especially with a promotion around the corner.

Wasn’t given the opportunity. Instead, I kept getting sent people to “show me what to do” like I haven’t been there for 3 goddamn years (all men, btw). And what these men do is come in and disregard me completely and fuck me and my coworkers over with their bullshit. Because of them, what should have been a relatively simple holiday turned into a disaster for me, my coworkers, and our customers because these guys came in and left everything in disarray. And to make matters worse, management looked at me like it was my fault when I TOLD them this would happen. Furthermore, when they DID finally stop coming, it still left us GROSSLY understaffed, and we did all we could do.

Wasn’t good enough. Everyday, we got talked down to, treated like we were incompetent, and that anybody but us could do the job better. And to make matters worse, the new store manager got some kind of bug up her ass about me. I originally thought it was because I wasn’t all happy and smiley like when she first started. And why would I be?

We lost our leader and good friend due to a bullshit conspiracy, we’re being treated like dirt, the district meat manager is outright refusing to give me a chance, we’re short staffed and working ourselves to death to try and keep this department going and on top of all of that, my car is still down. I’m paying $200 a week and actually living in poverty to work here. So yes.....I’m not smiling.

But apparently, she took it personally, and ever since then goes out of her way to make sure I’m always overrode on decisions, make sure to always ask others opinions on my department when I’m it’s leader and have been for over 3 years now. I won’t get into every little thing, but basically she treats me as if I’m incompetent, ignores any hard work I do and finds something to complain about.

Meanwhile, my mental health (which is already like a thread’s worth there) is steadily getting worse. I’m stressed from not being able to do a good enough job because I don’t have health, depressed from how me and my coworkers are being treated, depressed that others are getting all of the glory and being treated better than me and like THEY’RE the one keeping the department going when they’re clearly not (a white woman), and depressed that I not only am not getting a chance for a promotion, but that I never WILL get that chance for a promotion.

The district meat manager has overlooked me time and time again, and I always knew me being a black woman was a key issue in that. I’ve been repeatedly denied even to take classes to become a manager of my own department. Any time there is a chance for me to prove that I can do a good job, I am denied that opportunity and some man is brought in to show me how to do my job. I knew it then, but for some reason hung on to the hope that if I kept pushing and kept doing my job that I could prove myself and get to run a market. I was being dumb. This time struck me harder. My old manager told me that he REALLY wanted me to become a meat manager because none of the women he ever trained became one. ....I have no idea how it hasn’t hit him, because it hit my like a bag of bricks. Let me tell you something about my manager....

He’s good. He’s extremely good. And he’s a great and knowledgeable teacher. Every backup he has has been promoted and moved on to run their own markets within a year. The one who didn’t was literally because he had a learning disability. But, he kept working with him, and now that man is at a corporate level in the company. That man...

He’s had his fair share of female backups, and none of them have EVER made it past that position....and none ever will. I remember going to a meeting with all of the meat managers and backups and just curiously looking around at the demographics. There was ONE other female backup there, but no female leads.

I’ve always known this about the man who sits at the head of our district’s meat department. He’s sexist, plain and simple. Maybe even a tad racist. But, he constantly talks to me (and other women) like we’re incompetent children. One day, he came in and was explaining a VERY simple business concept to me and kept repeating “Oh, you probably don’t understand this. You probably don’t understand this,” like I’m just fucking stupid.

My BIGGEST pet peeve is for someone to treat my like I’m stupid and/or that I’m beneath them, and I get both from this guy, and it takes everything in my power not to slice his fucking neck open with the myriad of knives available in my department (or to just snap and tell him about himself). I KNOW my IQ is WORLDS higher than this guy’s. It’s not my fault I wasn’t born with a silver spoon up my ass.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying Kroger as a whole is sexist or racist. This seems to be an occurrence that’s isolated to this department (maybe even JUST in this division). And if you’re wondering about the female backups, well, that decision belongs to the meat manager of that particular store. Whether someone becomes a lead, however, depends on this fat, sexist fuck who is at our corporate level. And if that wasn’t apparent enough, it became even more apparent once the market opened up....

So, the guy they ultimately gave the store to (a young, white male) comes in and management is a COMPLETE 180. They assure that he has help at all times. They give him the utmost praise for the smallest accomplishments. And when they grade the department, it’s ALWAYS favorably. The grades for the department has steadily been nothing but B’s since he got here. When I was running it, I was lucky to get a C+ and this was even before manager got fired. I can see him doing the same amount of work and the department looking the same as when I would get a C+ and they would give him a B+. And to top things off, the manager made a HUGE fucking deal about assuring he had 2 days off a week. I worked myself to EXHAUSTION, 24 fucking days in a row, 7 days a week, usually for 9-11 hours a day no matter how sick I was, and got told “Why isn’t the department perfect? Why do you have overtime? Why aren’t you smiling?” And what’s worse, our numbers are steadily getting worse, and is he getting in any trouble for it? No. They could come in and we’re out of product because he wants to order “by the skin of my teeth”; customers come in looking for things and it’s not there, even past the time we’re supposed to be set up. Does he get into any trouble for it? No. And I’m not mad at this kid. I’m not. He’s only doing what I was trying to do. He has nothing to do with how I’ve been treated, and I’m not the type of person to take out on someone what someone else did to me. I’m not that person; I’m never going to be that person.

And each day it cuts deeper and deeper. I should be over it by now (I AM moving and made it very well known that I was leaving), but it still really fucking hurts. I’ve given SO much to work at that job. Not just physically, but I put myself through so much to stay there. I lived in poverty, worked my body to the point where I don’t think I’ll ever recover, kept myself in a dangerous situation and wound up being ATTACKED from it, when I could’ve been living with my best friend, at least semi-happy and safe. And why? Because I’m ambitious and wanted to work to get to a better position. Money was a factor, but a very small one. I’m just the type of person who always wants to move forward and do better. Ambitious and perfectionist.

Doesn’t matter...

I could go on and on and on about all the bullshit I’ve been through at Kroger, as well as witnessed other people go through. (Believe it or not, but this is just scraping the VERY recent surface.) But, it doesn’t matter because I had set a date and time to move away and join my friends. They decided to move to Arizona, and while I’m not in LOVE with the idea of going THERE in particular, I am in love with the idea of getting away from this place that brought me nothing but misery and just starting over and....trying to get myself together. I’m in SUCH bad shape and have been for a very, very long time; mentally, physically, and emotionally. So, my plan was to get my car back in decent working order, start back my second job so that I can end with them on a good, professional note, start packing, and then just....leave by the 20th on next month. Simple. Obtainable.

Not happening...

This weekend, my car went out completely... It’s...just done...

And I want to kill myself because it was because a stupid, simple mistake on my part. Something I was unaware of, but simple nonetheless. I won’t get into it. I don’t want to hear comments about how I should’ve known that and blah blah blah.... I feel bad enough about it.

And the timing is just AWFUL because I’m just three payments away from paying the car off completely. My second JUST got in contact with me about filling out rehire paperwork (but it’s right behind my other job, which is a city away). And worst of all, just when I’m only 3-4 weeks away from moving and trying to get my life back on track...

Furthermore, this is going to put me back into the cycle of spending $200+ a week to get to work, and....I absolutely REFUSE to do that... It’s not worth it. It has NEVER been worth it. I stayed for my manager and my coworkers....to make their lives easy, because they’re people I genuinely love. I can’t afford to dish out that kind of money, and am considering just quitting and finding something closer until I can come up with a down payment on a new car...

That being said, even though it shouldn’t take me a long time to find a job....it just might, and I’m already still very far behind on bills, and I can’t NOT have income. And Unemployment Benefits criteria is SO nitpicky here, that I’m afraid I won’t be able to receive benefits, even though this IS a work related problem.

So, I’m stuck. Stuck and depressed and stuck...

I have no idea what my move should be. I don’t know if I should just quit Kroger and look for something around here. Or try and tough it out at Kroger until something becomes available (which....I’m going to be honest, it was hard enough trying to stay there until the end of the month. Going there day after day is slowly chipping away more at my mental health that I feel like I could snap at any day... I was only trying to hold on so that I had a job when I moved to Arizona, even though my friend told me it was fine to just take a month off and THEN start looking for work.) So....*sigh* I just don’t know...

....besides just swallowing a bottle of pills. It sounds like I’m being melodramatic, but....it’s honestly the best option at this point. And not just because of this. Because of everything...

I’m tired. I’m tired of everything. I’m tired of the world I inhabit.

#personal #kroger #corporate america #capatalism #life woes #depression

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babylon-bitch · 7 years

Text

Greeting Kisses l.h

A/N: forgot I had this, I was supposed to post this ages ago. I don’t really know what this is, I was bored

Summary: Luke and his girlfriend (Y/N) accidentally uncover that they’re dating in a livestream and then they perform a song together

Word Count: 5,529

***

“How long have we got here again before we play another show?” My band mate Todd asks.

“I don’t even know anymore. Avery?” I ask my other band mate.

“3? 4 days?” Avery shrugs.

“Something like that, I’ll ask Joe later.” Julian my final band mate concludes.

“Where is Joe anyway?” I ask, referring to our tour manager.

“In the hotel or something, apparently something happened to a venue we’re performing at in a couple months, so he’s on the phone talking to them.” Todd replies.

“Where are the boys?” Avery asks as she plays with her bass.

“Here.” Todd and Julian say in unison.

“Bitch I always know where you are because I can hear your annoying voices all the time.” Avery tells them.

“That and you never leave us alone.” I add.

“Firstly I hope you can hear me because I kinda sing in a band.” Todd points out the obvious.

“Secondly, we never leave you alone because we’re kinda in a band together, have been for the past 5 years…” Julian trails off.

“Yeah but this close? I can easily hit you with the neck of this guitar.” I ask and I gently tap his chest with the neck of the acoustic guitar.

“I’m sorry I like your company.” He puts his hands up in surrender and stands up wide eyed.

“Aww, you like me!” I grin at him.

“Well I have to, we’re with each other 24/7, and who else is gonna be our frontman? I need to make that money, so without you, our band will go down hill.” He explains.

“I’m a woman, not a man.” I point out.

“Hey, I don’t know what you identify as!” Julian exclaims.

“True.” You shrug and look down at the guitar, strumming random chords.

“Could you pass me my phone?” Julian asks Avery from his Cajon.

“It’s literally a metre away from you but fine.” She shrugs and gets up.

We’re all in 5 Seconds Of Summer’s tour bus, just hanging out together. We’re great friends with the band, such great friends that Luke and I are dating, we’ve been dating for a little over a year now. We all became friends around 3 years ago, we met at a mutual friend’s birthday party, just so happened to fans of each other’s bands and we hit off from there. We have different relationships with everyone and we get along really well.

Luke and I haven’t told the fans yet, we’ve barely even talked about it. We’re just not the type of people to be very public about things like this. Sure, we post pictures together and stuff, and interact a lot on Twitter, but never once even hinted it online. There was one time where we were all out, we were all so drunk, and Luke and I were holding hands as a million paps blinded us with the flash. That did spark dating rumours but it died down faster than it sparked.

Luke was the first I connected to, we used to walk around cities we both coincidently played at or when the boys visited us or vice versa, and just talk, from useless things to such deep things that it felt like I needed a nap after. We first kissed a year before we actually started dating. We were all on a night out, and Luke and I ended up making out, there was this tension between us in the past month, and it started from there. The kiss felt magical, and then we slowly started to develop feelings for each other, the following year was made up of lingering touches, burning gazes, and a fuck ton of tension. Then we were at a charity concert in London, and we ended up in his band’s hotel room balcony, that was so close to the venue that you could see and hear all the performances, and all of a sudden we just looked at each other, the moon was shining down on him, he looked so beautiful, and he gingerly held my jaw and kissed me to the sound of Sycamore Tree by The Hunna. That went on for a couple weeks, sneaky kisses and sharing knowing glances across rooms, before we made it official. Ever since then I’ve made some of the best memeories with one of my favourite people.

If you couldn’t tell, I’m in a band. I’m the lead vocalist and rhythm guitarist, Todd is the lead guitarist and vocalist, Avery is the bassist and vocalist, and Julian is the drummer and vocalist. I met Julian and Todd at school, Avery used to live next door to me, and I’d hear her play the bass and sometimes hear her sing, so then I kinda asked ‘hey, wanna be in a band?’ We’ve been a band for 5 years now, coming up 6 soon, we’ve released 3 albums, gone on so many tours, and written countless songs. We’re currently working on album number 4, but it’s not in demand because we’re still touring and busy with other things. The chemistry between us all is unbelievable, sure, after touring for 10 months and being stuck in a tour bus, things can get a little tense, but besides those moments, we get along so well, and our minds work really well together, when we’re writing songs, we just get each other, and understand each other’s vibe. I couldn’t ask for better bandmates.

“Oh my God, no!” Avery says as she recognises what I’m playing.

“Let it be an exception this only time.” I laugh.

“Did you just- g-get out of the band.” Todd stutters.

“Come on.” I encourage them and start the beginning chords again, Julian beginning to join in.

“It has overplayed syndrome for me!” Avery shakes her head.

“Amuse her Ave, she’s only gonna keep on doing it until you join in.” Todd tells Avery.

“Fine.” She sighs.

Todd pulls out his phone and starts recording it all.

“When I was younger I saw my daddy cry And curse at the wind. He broke his own heart and I watched As he tried to reassemble it.

And my momma swore That she would never let herself forget. And that was the day that I promised I’d never sing of love if it does not exist.

But darling, You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception.

Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul That love never lasts. And we’ve got to find other ways to make it alone. Or keep a straight face.

And I’ve always lived like this Keeping a comfortable distance. And up until now I have sworn to myself That I’m content with loneliness.

Because none of it was ever worth the risk.

Well you are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception. You are the only exception.

I’ve got a tight grip on reality, But I can’t let go of what’s in front of me here. I know you’re leaving in the morning when you wake up. Leave me with some kind of proof it’s not a dream. Oh-oh-oh-ohhh.

You are the only exception. [4x]

And I’m on my way to believing. Oh, and I’m on my way to believing.”

“It wasn’t that bad was it?” I ask.

“You’re right, it was kinda fun.” She sheepishly says.

“This is going straight to Twitter.” Todd grins.

“I’ll admit, it does have overplayed syndrome.” I agree.

“Just please don’t make me sing Wonderwall.” Avery cringes.

“I can agree with that.” I chuckle.

“So where are the boys?” Todd asks.

“I think they’re in their dressing room, I’m not sure.” Julian answers.

“Can we go see them?” I beg.

“Aw, is little (Y/N) getting boyfriend withdrawals?” Julian teases.

“Yeah, now I’m going, you joining?” I ask.

“Sure.” They all nod and we head out the tour bus, Todd bringing the guitar, toying with the strings.

As we walk through the venue, I begin to sing a song we’re currently working on, and it sounds really cool because the halls are so empty, my voice echos around.

“I really like that song, sure it needs tweaking at some parts, but I can’t wait for it to be released.” Julian pauses his conversation with Avery.

“Yeah, I think we should add a high note somewhere.” Todd adds.

“(Y/N) does the high note, whilst we sing over it, and when we perform it, all these lights and explosions go off.” Julian starts getting excited.

“That or there’s a huge build up and then the high note, and we kinda have tiny pause between each drum beat.” Todd suggests.

“I’ll write it down.” Avery tells us and pulls her phone out.

The sound of All Time Low meets our ears, and I can hear Ashton’s voice – looks like we’re close to the dressing room.

Todd knocks on the open door and all 4 boys turn to us, and smiles break out.

“Hey.” Avery waves walking in and goes straight to the sofa with Michael, the others following her.

I walk towards Luke, and he places his hand on my right ribcage, before pressing a short greeting kiss to my lips. “Hey.” He smiles.

“Hi.” I chuckle and walk over to the others.

“Hello.” Calum grins and pats the spot next to him.

“How are you?” I ask

“Tired, but besides that, I’m fine, you?” Calum answers.

“Yeah, a little jetlagged and all that jazz, but I’m good.” I nod and Luke comes over to us and sits next to me, placing his hand on my thigh.

“What have you been doing?” Calum questions.

“We’ve been writing, well, trying to, but we just kept messing around, but we did make some progress.” I explain. “You?”

“We’re doing this live stream thingy, there’s cameras on the walls and stuff. It’s actually live right now, so be careful what you do or say.” He chuckles.

“Oh cool, how long has this been go in on for?” I ask, learning against Luke’s shoulder as he talks to Julian.

“An hour and a bit so far, I think it goes on until we go on stage.” Calum replies.

“You excited for the show?”

“Always am, when’s your next show? Surely your little break should be over soon.”

“The break lasted 3 days, I wouldn’t call it a break.” I comment. “I think it’s in a couple days, we’re not sure.”

“You did a cover of The Only Exception?” Ashton questions and gestures to his phone.

“Well the evidence is on your phone.” I point out.

“Is it any good?” Michael asks.

“I wouldn’t say that.” I laugh.

“Yeah I would say it’s fucking amazing!” Avery exclaims.

“I wouldn’t say that either, we were just having fun.” I shrug.

“I’m gonna go check out the stage, you wanna come?” Luke asks me.

“Ohhhh, you’re gonna check out the stage.” Michael wiggles his eyebrows with a teasing smile.

“Yes, I’m going to look at the stage, with my girlfriend, you can come if you want.” Luke states, and begins to get up, putting his phone in his pocket.

“Nah, I’m not that into that, but (Y/N) though.” Michael winks at me, making me laugh.

“Fuck completely off.” Luke laughs and holds his hand out for me to take, and I grab onto and he helps me up. “Now, we’ll be at the stage if you need us.”

“Wow that’s brave, getting it on whilst there are people around.” Todd smirks.

“Really Todd? I taught you better than this.” I shake my head.

“I’m older than you!” He claims.

“By 4 months.” I deadpan.

“Come on, babe.” Luke lightly tugs on my hand and we leave the room.

“How many people are gonna be here tonight?” I question and slightly swing our hands.

“I’m not entirely sure, but I know it’s gonna be a load of people, and I’m kinda nervous to be honest.” He confesses.

“Really?” I furrow my eyebrows.

“Yeah, what if I sing the wrong part? Forget the words? Mess the guitaring up? Fall?” He questions.

“Babe, what if you do mess up?” I ask. “You’ve got your bandmates that will take over for you and it will be like it never happened! You’ve got millions of people that support you in everything and you’re surrounded by people that love you. If you mess up nothing’s going to change, it’s going to be the best night of some people’s life’s tonight, if you mess up, it makes their concert unique. You’ll be fine.” I tell him.

“That well enough said, but it still doesn’t change anything, I’m still going to be nervous and stress about it.” Luke shakes his head as we get out into the open, surrounded by all the chairs people are gonna sit at later on.

“You’ve got to learn that you shouldn’t be so hard on yourself. You’ve achieved so much, messing something up is expected really, Luke.” I reply. “Would it help if I was on stage too?” I joke.

“It would actually.” He seriously says as we walk onto the stage.

“Seriously?” I question.

“Yeah, I know how much you miss being on stage, even though it’s only been a few days, and it will help my nerves.” He nods.

“I don’t know, Luke.” I sheepishly say and Luke lets go of my hand before wrapping his arms around my waist.

“Come on, we’ll pick out a song, and then you will be the suprise guest.”

“Just me or the whole band?” I question.

“We’ll figure it out later.” He shrugs.

“I’ll think about it.” I tell him and sit at the piano. “When’s soundcheck?”

“Sometime in the afternoon, a while yet, they only just set up the stage.”

“Oh.” I nod looking down at the keys.

“You going to sing me a song?” Luke asks like a little school girl.

“Sure.” I smirk and place my fingers on the right chords. “I don’t love you, like I did yesterday. Joking I love you really.” I laugh.

“I was about to say!” He laughs.

“This is more the song for you.” I smile.

“Baby, I love you I never want to let you go The more I think about, The more I want to let you know: That everything you do, Is super fucking cute And I can’t stand it

I’ve been searching for A girl that’s just like you Cause I know That your heart is true

Baby, I love you I never want to let you go The more I think about, The more I want to let you know: That everything you do, Is super duper cute And I can’t stand it

Let’s sell all our shit, And run away To sail the ocean blue Then you’ll know, That my heart is true

Baby, I love you I never want to let you go The more I think about, The more I want to let you know: That everything you do, Is super duper cute And I can’t stand it

You, you got me where you want me Cause I’ll do anything to please you Just to make it through: Another year

You, I saw you across the room And I knew that this is gonna Blossom into something beautiful. You’re beautiful.

Baby, I love you I never want to let you go The more I think about, The more I want to let you know: That everything you do, Is super duper cute And I can’t stand it No I can’t stand it No I can’t stand it.”

“Aw, babe.” He bites his lip bashfully.

“You’re just too damn cute, I can’t stand it.” I shake my head and stand up, taking the few steps towards him, and loosely wrap my arms around his neck.

“Well, I have to say, you’re pretty cute too.” He smiles and holds my waist.

“Thank you.” I say and Luke connects our lips, I can feel how he is smiling through the kiss. His hands travel up my body and go to my cheeks/jaw as he slides his tongue into my mouth, making the kiss more intense.

We get interrupted by Luke’s phone going off, making us both jump and we jump away from each other. Luke pulls his phone out of his pocket, with his eyebrows furrowed.

“It’s from Ash, saying check Twitter.” He reads to me.

“Uh, what?” I question.

He just shrugs and presses a few things on his phone. “Oh shit.” He sheepishly speaks.

“What?” I ask confused.

“Here.” Luke passes me his phone.

There’s loads of gifs of us kissing when I walked into the room, and tweets about us, our ship name is even trending.

“Oh yeah, shit.”

“I’m sorry, I forgot that we were live and stuff.” Luke apologizes.

“It’s not your fault.” I tell him.

“Who’s is it then?” He asks.

“It’s totally yours, but I wanted to make you feel better.” I confess with a laugh, him joining in with me. “It’s both of our faults, but it had to happen at some point, we’ve been going out for over a year now.”

“That’s true, what do we say about it? ‘Hey, this is my girlfriend, I love her, bye’?” He questions.

“How about I do join you on stage for one song, and we kinda confirm it all and stuff?” I suggest.

“Yeah, that’s a good idea.” He nods his head with a smile. “Any song ideas?”

“Uh, no, you?” I shake my head.

“Not yet, we’ve got a while.” He shrugs.

“Did the live stream have sound?” I question.-

“I think so, I’m not sure.”

“They probably heard our weird conversation about sex.” I groan.

“How did everyone forget about the whole stream?” Luke asks.

“Blinded by my beauty.” I jokingly flip my hair over my shoulder .

“I can agree with that.” He chuckles and pecks my lips. “Why don’t we sing the song we had our first kiss to?”

“It was actually our second kiss.” I point out.

“Our first kiss was pretty hot.” He comments.

“Shut up. So we’re gonna do Sycamore Tree?” I ask for confirmation.

“I think so, unless you don’t want to be the cheesy couple.”

“We’re always cheesy, it wouldn’t be us if we weren’t.” I joke.

“That’s true.” He nods.

“Is it just going to be us or your band and me, even both of our bands?” I question.

“Why don’t we try them all and see what we like best.” Luke suggests.

“Okay, you wanna invite the others here now, so we can rehearse it now?” I ask.

“Yeah.” He pulls his phone out and types on his phone, as he does that I go towards the guitars.

Picking up Luke’s black and white one, I plug it in and sit at the end of the stage, playing with it.

“You do know that’s tuned differently.” Luke comes and sits next to me after a while.

“You do know I’m in a band myself.” I mock and stand up putting his guitar back, instead picking up the one in standard tuning. “Happy?”

“You know I don’t like people touching my guitars.” He groans.

“Welcome to my world, I have a whole band who use my guitar all the time, but they still use it.” I deadpan and do the intro to the guitar battle of Castaway.

“That’s my song.” He points out the obvious.

“Well done.” I send him a sarcastic smile.

Luke gets up and grabs Michael’s guitar, before joining me again and he does his part of the intro.

“Aw, look at the happy couple doing guitar battles, how cute.” The voice of Ashton coos once we’re done.

“Does this mean I’m joining your band now and you take my place?” Michael asks me as I stand up, putting the guitar back to its original place, Luke following my actions.

“If you want.” I shrug.

“Finally I can sing Wolf live!” He exclaims.

“What?” Avery questions.

“You’ve never sung it live and it’s such a good song.” He tells us.

“It’s never felt right to perform.” I reply.

“Are we going to talk about the little doozy you and Luke made or what?” Julian asks and I punch his arm.

“Yeah, about that.” Luke mutters.

“Luke and I decided to confirm it my doing a duet tonight.” I explain.

“I don’t think they need any confirmation, they’ve got all the information already.” Calum jokes and him and Todd high five.

“Funny.” I sarcastically say with a glare.

“Have you chosen a song yet?” Ashton questions.

“Yeah I think so, we’re gonna so Sycamore Tree by The Hunna.” Luke says.

“That’s a bit specific.” Todd furrows his eyebrows.

“It’s the song that was playing when we had our first kiss.” I explain.

“That was playing in the club?” Todd smirks.

“I need a new guitarist.” I whine and rest my for head on Luke’s chest.

“So who’s playing? Are we all playing? Is just you two? Your band or our band?” Calum asks.

“I don’t thinks it’s gonna be all of us because there’s no need, I think it’d be good if we one of our bands played.” I suggest and turn around so I can breath properly, Luke presses me against his body and rests his forearms on my shoulders.

“If we played we won’t have our instruments.” Avery says.

“You can just use ours.” Ashton tells her.

“No, she doesn’t like using other people’s instruments, because it would feel like cheating on her bass.” Julian explains for him.

“I get that.” Calum nods.

“So I take it it’s us playing?” Michael questions.

“I guess.” Luke shrugs.

“Is this our first time performing together?” Calum asks.

“I think it is, at least at a proper show.” I confirm. “Ew, our band has gone in such decline I’m performing with some losers. We really need to get that album out fast.” I mutter and Luke tips my head up so I’m facing him, and he squeezes my cheeks a little.

“Play nice.” He mumbles and kisses my lips lightly before walking off, leaving me to look at his back with an unimpressed face.

It’s a little while later now, the boy’s and I rehearsed the song and it sounds really good, we all love it. I’m a little nervous to perform it because a secret I’ve been keeping for over a year is finally gonna be out but it had to happen at one point. At least once it’s out we can be ourselves around each other on camera or when we are out.

My band are currently messing around on stage, the boy’s are sitting on some of the many chairs, talking about whatever, and we had some free time and we were bored so why not?

“When was the last time we played a cover?” Avery questions.

“Legit hours ago.” I shrug.

“Live.” She sighs.

“Uh, a while, back in Birmingham we did.” Todd remembers.

“We covered Smoke by Pvris right?” Julian asks.

“Yeah, right before (Y/N) was sick.” Todd says.

“Don’t remind me.” I shudder.

“Why’d you ask?” Todd Julian asks Avery.

“I just thought it’d be nice if we played a cover at our next show.” She answers.

“Yeah that could be cool.” I agree.

“What song?” Todd asks.

“I heard (Y/N) singing Don’t Let Me Down the other week and that sounded great.” Julian suggests.

“I was?” I question.

“Yeah, we were in Seattle or somewhere, I was in the dressing room whilst you were trying to get some bars so you could call Luke, and you were singing to yourself.” He tries to jog my memory.

“Oh! That one, you liked that?” I ask.

“It would’ve sounded better with music but your voice sounded amazing.” He tells me.

“Where were we?” Avery asks and gestures between Todd and herself.

“I don’t know, think you were going sight seeing.”

“So you want us to perform that?” Todd asks.

“Yeah but I think we need to come up with a new version because I’m not into the original.” I say.

“Same.” Julian agrees.

“It shouldn’t be hard.” Todd shrugs and looks down at the frets.

Julian walks over to his drums and sits down, picking up his sticks then swirls them around his fingers before hitting what feels right.

“Go faster.” Avery tells Julian.

“Oh, you like fast?” He winks at her but does what she says and I go over to todd and tell him what we should do guitar wise.

After 10 minutes we’ve got the track finished, just need to sing now.

“Does anybody know the words?” I laugh.

“No.” Avery shakes her head.

“I don’t.” Todd replies.

“Me either.” Julian chuckles.

“Well then, I guess I’ll look up the words.” I mumble and pull out my phone.

“Do you want me to do the guitar part and then you can just do the singing?” Todd suggests.

“We’ll see how that sounds and if we like it then sure.” I respond.

“Okay.” He nods.

I take the mic of the stand and listen until it’s my time to come in.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=WFDBy_KYDPE

“WOO!” Someone shouts and clapping following.

I turn around and see the boys cheering and clapping at us. “You guys suck!” Michael shouts.

“Fuck you.” I flip him off.

“Okay!” He smirks.

“Dude!” Luke exclaims and hits the back of his head.

“Yes?” He asks.

“Bro code.”

“What about it?” Michael asks flatly. “She’s hot, can’t I just appreciate it?”

“No, no you cannot.” Luke shakes his head.

“Now that’s just rude.” He crosses his arms.

***

“You still nervous?” I question Luke as he puts his guitar strap over his head.

“More than ever.” He sighs.

“You’ll do great, plus I’ll be out there in while so don’t worry.” I smile.

“Are you nervous at all?”

“No not really, the only thing I’m nervous about is that we’re going to be official and so exposed. I love the thrill before a show, it’s one of my favourite feelings.” I explain.

“Are you going to stay here?” He asks.

“Of course.” I nod.

“'Kay, it’s just a lot of people and I’m terrified I’ll mess u-”

I cut him off with a kiss, which works efficiently because he holds my neck and kisses me back. “Babe, you’ll be fine, now go and give it your best, see you soon.”

“Thanks, love you.” He smiles and gives me one last kiss before pulling back.

“Good luck!” I wish but he probably can’t hear me because the crowd becomes alive as I say the second word.

I’ve always loved see in Luke perform and seeing the most genuine smile on his face. When I’m missing him on tour I’ll go on my laptop and search for their live performances, which always makes me feel so much better.

He once admitted he does the same but then denied it as if it’s the last thing he’ll do. I found it cute but he thought it was embarrassing.

Luke looks back at me and I smile and give him a wink, he returns my smile and goes back to singing.

I continue to watch their performance, the nervousness disappearing fast as he gets used to it and messes around with the boys.

“So uh, I thought we’d bring out a special guest tonight.” Luke announces at the second to last song and I adjust my earpiece. “Everyone welcome my girlfriend (Y/N) (Y/L/N)!”

I walk out and the crowd erupts with even louder cheers, I smile and wave at a few people as I walk up towards Luke.

Luke gives me a small hug and takes my earpiece out.

“You ready?” He asks.

“I think so.” I nod and he gives me a subtle kiss on the cheek.

“You’ll do great.” He encourages.

“Okay whilst those guys be all gross over each other, we’re actually going to start the song.” Michael teases.

“I have to watch you be all gross over Luke.” I retort.

“Touchè, Muke af.” Michael shrugs.

“Can we actually start the song?” Calum asks.

“Yeah, we all know Cashton is the best ship, no debate.” Ashton says and Michael starts the opening guitar piece.

“Sitting under a sycamore tree You turn those beautiful eyes to me And then whisper so delicately” I sing the first verse starting out soft.

“And you say what will become of us, my dear And I’ll smile at you and clutch your hand real tight Coz your changing my life” I sing the second verse, smiling at Luke when I sing the second line.

“I say our future is ours to pain And I don’t have much but I’ve got a lot to gain And I wanna share it all with you And I feel your heart go oo oo oo oo oo It goes oo oo oo oo oo It goes oo oo oo oo oo If goes oo oo oo oo oo” Luke sings, an adorable grin settled on his face

And darling, you know we’ve got youth on our side Lets have no worries or troubles in our minds, tonight Lets take these moments day by day And whats in store for us, who can say…“ we sing together and I do the high note at then end.

“And I feel your heart go oo oo oo oo oo It goes oo oo oo oo oo It goes oo oo oo oo oo If goes oo oo oo oo oo” Luke sings, playing his guitar slowly.

“And I swear I love you till the end of our days And oooh I swear I love you till the end of our days” we sing together, making end contact with each other.

“And I feel your heart go oo oo oo oo oo It goes oo oo oo oo oo It goes oo oo oo oo oo If goes oo oo oo oo oo If goes oo oo oo oo oo If goes oo oo oo oo oo If goes oo oo oo oo oo If goes oo oo oo oo oo” I sing the last verse and Luke joins in on the last two lines.

“Wow, what a great crowd.” I say as I look at all the phones with the light on in the crowd.

“I didn’t think it was going to be that romantic, I thought it would be a casual cover, but wow that was something.” Calum chuckles.

“It’s always something with these two.” Ashton jokes.

“First he’s holding hands with her going out of a club surrounded my paps and now he’s kissing her infront of thousands of people.” Michael mocks.

“Hey, why are you making it seem like it was all me? I needed to be holding hands with someone, I needed to kiss someone, it wasn’t just the air.” Luke exclaims.

“Yeah, fuck you (Y/N).” Calum laughs.

“I will walk off this stage.” I threat.

“Go on, you need to check on Twitter, make sure it hasn’t died.” Ashton comments.

The crowd starts chanting something that I can’t understand as I walk towards Luke.

“What?” I bend my ear, taking my other ear piece out.

“Does anybody know what they’re saying?” Michael asks us.

“Wait, you’re chanting kiss? You want us to kiss?” Luke questions and the crowd cheers loudly.

“No I think they want (Y/N) and I to kiss.” Michael says and stare at him in a ‘are you fucking serious’ way.

“I don’t think you do, it gets pretty intense.” Luke jokes making me hit his arm.

Despite our denials, they still chant ‘kiss’.

“I don’t think they’re gonna stop.” Ashton laughs.

“Give 'em what they want!” Calum speaks.

“No.” I laugh.

Luke just shakes his head with a grin, and walks over to me.

“Hemmings! Back the fuck up.” I warn and begin to take some steps back.

“I’m not doing anything?” He shrugs but continues to walk towards me.

“I’m not gonna kiss you infront of thousands of people.” I tell him.

“I wasn’t coming here for a kiss.” He replies.

All of a sudden Luke leaps at me and wraps his arms around my waist, despite me trying to get away.

“I love you.” He says into my ear.

“One kiss.” I sigh.

“I wasn’t actually gonna get you to do it, but as you insist.” He smirks and turns me around so I’m facing him.

He presses his index finger under my chin and I place my hand on his shoulder, then we press our lips together, going for just a little more than a peck, smiling into it.

“You happy?” I ask.

“Oh my God, you’re so cute.” Michael laughs.

I’m not sure if I’ve ever been this happy, I’m with some of the people I love the most while doing the thing I love most. I couldn’t ask for anything more.

“Go finish the show and meet me in the dressing room.” I urge.

“Cuddles after?” Luke asks.

“Of course.”

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jessicakehoe · 5 years

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The Meaning Behind The Makeup in Netflix’s The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina

As the makeup department head for The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina, Candice Stafford-Bridge’s duties in the trailer run the gamut. Some days she’s applying a distinctive mark called the Devil’s Claw (“his physical manifestation of his grip on your soul”) to the skin of affected witches and warlocks, on others, she’s dolling them up for the high school sweethearts dance or a racy pagan feast.

Based on the Archie comic, developed by Riverdale’s Robert Aguirre-Sacasa, and filmed in Vancouver, Netflix’s hit supernatural horror drama calls upon a variety of references. “There’s so much that we sample from on the show; it’s like a Picasso when we put all of it together!” says Stafford-Bridge. Yet the goal for the characters is ultimately a timeless quality. “We always want the women to look beautiful, but besides the Weird Sisters, none of them sit in front of a mirror for twelve hours,” she says. “They look how they look. We don’t want them to come across as trendy.”

The B.C. native’s credits range from The Flash and The A-Team to 80s throwback Hot Tub Time Machine and says she draws on everything from her vintage Vogue collection to her ‘old-school’ special effects skills as a graduate of the Blanche Macdonald makeup school for both the glam and the damned. “And there’s no little [makeup] bags on our show,” she adds, referring to the sheer volume of premium cosmetics chosen for each character’s signature style. “We us a lot of Bite Beauty, Make Up For Ever, Charlotte Tilbury, ILIA and Tom Ford.”

In the gallery below, Stafford-Bridges explains the meaning behind character makeup choices, and why a good skin care ritual is as important as demonic rituals.

Photography by Nicole Erin Photos

1/9

Sabrina Spellman (Kiernan Shipka)

The titular half mortal, half witch of the series still straddles two worlds, between the path of light at Baxter High with her friends and studying the path of night at the The Academy of Unseen Arts. “Sabrina goes on a bit of a journey and starts honing her powers, exploring what is the darker side of witchcraft,” says Stafford-Bridge. “Because she’s 16 in the show and is still in high school, we didn’t get too crazy with the makeup.” The inner shift is signaled through intense lipsticks like Christian Louboutin Velvet Matte Lip Colour in ‘Very Privé’. “We went darker because that’s still something a 16-year-old would attempt herself.” It’s all the more dramatic now that she’s signed her name in the Book of the Beast in Part 2 and her hair has gone from blonde to the signature ash white of her comic book character. Since she’s often pulled in opposite directions, so is her beauty look and she still has an angelic glow: “I use MAC Eyeshadow in ‘Shroom’ on her lids—it has a bit of a kick to it. And then in the inner corner and underneath, an light cream Anastasia Bevely Hills highlighting pencil. That white light is also somewhat virginal and true to the mortal side of her.”

2/9

The Weird Sisters: Prudence (Tati Gabrielle), Dorcas (Abigail F. Cowen), and Agatha (Adeline Rudolph)

Based on the Instagram queries alone (through @candices), the Weird Sisters’ intense looks are the show’s breakout beauty hit. “We get to go outside the box,” says Stafford-Bridge. Think grey black, blue and purple lipsticks in ombré effects using layers of shades like Bite Beauty Amuse Bouche in “Squid Ink” and “black on their eyelids all the way up to their brows. Their looks are high maintenance. You couldn’t do that and walk around during the day. They even have a ‘bedtime look’. We call it a no-makeup look that’s the day version with nudes and browns.”

3/9

Roz Walker (Jaz Sinclair)

Think mortal, think minimal. “I’m not a fan of the sixteen-year-olds that look like Kardashians, and her character specifically is reaching out to girls who don’t just look like a cutout Barbie doll. She’s a mortal, she has friends and a great life, she’s not all about her looks. Because she wears glasses, we wanted to make sure the eyes still stood out no matter what. She gets lashes, and I put one of Anastasia Beverly Hills’ contour colours in orange on her eyelid to pop her eyes, because they’re brown, to keep with her natural skin tone. And then a berry lip, very lightly, with Chapstick over top.”

4/9

Aunt Zelda (Miranda Otto)

“We use a lot of the Charlotte Tilbury Hollywood Flawless Filter on the cheekbones of all our ladies. That little tiny bit of glow is useful.” The concept for Miranda was the throwback Hollywood noir of L.A. Confidential and Kim Basinger, “with the beautiful, loose hair that’s always perfect and just enough makeup. It’s all about business with Zelda. Her clothing is tailored, it’s never relaxed. She’s always put together.” No spoilers, but when in one episode her character goes through a personality change it’s reflected with softer and pinker makeup.

5/9

Aunt Hilda (Lucy Davis)

In contrast to her sister, Hilda wears pink lipgloss and matte baby blue Make Up For Ever eyeshadow with her flip hairdo. “That was a look on young Goldie Hawn in Laugh-In, because her character embodies that lightness, that laugh, that fun. It’s like the 1960s was her heyday, so she still looks like that and doesn’t care what anybody else around her thinks.”

6/9

Mary Wardwell (Michelle Gomez)

Stafford-Bridge devotes significant time to brows, especially with Gomez. “They have to be perfect—she’s essentially the devil in disguise so they have to be sharp and bold without looking drawn on with a Sharpie! The arch is intense. I fill them in with a pomade so they’re stronger.” Tom Ford’s eyeliner pen is her favourite. “It’s the blackest, black black and you don’t have to be a makeup artist to get it right.” As for Madam Satan’s lipstick, Stafford-Bridge has tried everything, including NARS, Make Up For Ever, MAC. She finally settled on Charlotte Tilbury, alternating between ‘Red Carpet Red’ or ‘So Marilyn’. “She puts it on 24/7. The great thing about Tilbury’s lipstick packaging is that it doesn’t have her name all over it so they use it on camera all the time. I buy two or three and she’ll have one in her pocket to reapply.”

7/9

Lighting Can Be Magic

Part 2 is now streaming and once again features a variety of beauty looks to inspire every generation. “In genre, you usually get a colourful palette but you don’t usually get an age range,” Stafford-Bridge says of the diverse cast. “We’ve got men, women, non-binary who don’t conform to gender. I think our producers and our casting have been really forward in making sure that that continues, even with the guests.” Like the mysterious sexagenarian fortune teller played by Veronica Cartwright (Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds, Alien). “We’re not trying to hide anybody’s age either—we’re not taping anybody up under the hair or anything like that,” Stafford-Bridge adds, and to make sure everybody looks good she works closely with the camera and lighting departments. “I’m a pretty vocal person and for scenes with many of our lead characters, I’m literally sitting on the lap of the DP asking, ‘Please put more light in and put more bounce in, for the love of Satan help a girl out.’”

8/9

Makeup Removal is Key

PreCleanse

($63, Dermalogica)

The makeup trailer uses wipes from Bioderma and the Honest Company on Shipka, but the Weird Sisters use all of the removers. “A big one is the PreCleanse oil and balm from Dermalogica,” says Stafford-Bridge. “Because their makeup is so dark, we have to start with an oil. Then hot towels, then cleanser, and then always, always my staple, Lancôme Bi-Facil eye makeup remover. I’m pretty sure my Grandma had that stuff and I’ve never found anything that works quite as simply and quickly and easily and it’s available everywhere.”

Buy Now

9/9

When It Comes To Skin The Best Rituals Are Good, Not Evil

“Working 12-16 hours a day, five days a week, I make sure our cast has great skin care. It reduces some of the work we need to do with concealers and corrective makeup, which let me tell you, after ten months [of shooting], if it means they can spend five or ten minutes less in the makeup trailer every day, they do it! Facials are a really important thing and I send them to The Skin Girls in Vancouver for microderm, the laser light, and an oxygen facial to make sure their skin is in good shape. The men too. We also use a lot of SKYN Iceland products, especially their Hydro Cool Firming Eye Gel patches on everyone in the morning. I even put it on some of the producers!”

The post The Meaning Behind The Makeup in Netflix’s <em>The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina</em> appeared first on FASHION Magazine.

The Meaning Behind The Makeup in Netflix’s The Chilling Adventures of Sabrina published first on https://borboletabags.tumblr.com/

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adamandbrittanyinhawaii · 6 years

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Day 12 - May 27th

We may only have about 36 hours left in our trip but that doesn’t mean we aren’t packing it full! Today’s adventure: a day-long bike tour around Kyoto! This city has so many temples and shrines that it is a bit overwhelming to go and try to visit them on your own. After all, how do you know which ones are worth seeing and which ones aren’t? So having someone provide the highlights for you while also explaining it all in English and getting exercise is a complete win for us. One of my favorite activities I did in Berlin was the bike tour through the city, complete with a stop at a beer garden for lunch. I thought we may be able to recapture that magic in Kyoto.

After dropping our bags off (again!) at the train station we headed to the bike tour shop. Our tour group was relatively compact with an older couple from the Netherlands, a family of 4 from Florida and us. It was an interesting dynamic because of course the Europeans knew what they were doing on a bike since everyone in that country is a daily biker and we’ve gotten comfortable with biking in Hawaii. Juxtaposed to that was the family from Florida who flat out seemed lost on bikes because we would cruise at 6-7 mph and they would still fall behind. It was boggling.

Anyways, our first stop on the tour was the West Pagoda gate. Interesting fact is that Tokyo and Kyoto are anagrams, but there is a reason. When translating to English Kyo-To is just 2 symbols meaning “Imperial Capital”. To-Kyo then means Capital East. It was established as the modern capital a few hundred years ago, hence the name. Another interesting fact is that the West Pagoda Gate used to be the Eastern Pagoda Gate, but the other one got taken down and the city ended up developing farther east than anticipated, making this gate the Western side of the city by relative position.

Japan was actually a very insulated culture until the mid 1800’s when they decided to open up to the rest of the world. Once they moved away from the Imperial system slowly western influences began to move in which is why Tokyo was more or less created so that it would enable more shipping and prompt contact with foreign countries.

When one visits Europe you are overwhelmed by the influence of Christianity and Catholicism. However in Japan you are overwhelmed by the unique mixture of 2 religions: Shinto and Buddhism. Buddhism needs no introduction since it is one of the largest religions in the world but what is strange as that the most common practice in Japan is to combine it with Shinto, not choose “either/or”. So holidays get conflated and people can actively practice rituals of one faith and be doing the other 24 hours later. It would strike me as strange to come across someone doing this but for an entire culture, well let’s just say I don’t know if another country functions like this in the world.

Along the route of our journey we made many stops, obviously so many that I’m not even bothering detailing them here for you, rather just sharing history and stories. With all these stops we have the chance to fill our brains with all sorts of info. Our guide decided to teach us how to count to ten. Are you ready? 1 = Itchy, 2 = Knee, 3 = Son, 4 = She, 5 = Go, 6 = Roku, 7 = Nana, 8 = Hachee, 9 = Cue & 10 = Jew. Obviously we have no clue how to write this in Japanese but we can at least say them now. Here’s the kicker: there are literally dozens of numbering systems in Japan though and it all depends upon what you are describing. So in effect all we learned was how to count to ten in one very specific way. This country is full of surprises!

Our next stop was at an interesting temple. Basically this man tried to incite a coup, failed and when he was banished he died and it was believed that the bad luck that fell on the government and people in the years that followed was a curse from this man! So naturally, they built a temple to worship this guy! The temple has oxen everywhere because the man died with an ox.

Inside the Shisenen temple are a few ingenious games, er, I mean, worship rituals that people pay money for. One is a can that you tip upside down and a stick slides out with a number. Whatever the number is you go and share it with a guy at the desk and for 300 yen he will tell you your fortune. Another one is for a fee you can come hang sheets of paper in the temple to cast wishes for the upcoming full moon. If none of that strikes your fancy you can always through a few coins in the box when you go bow at the temple. Not too shabby of a business, I mean, religion.

The next stop was at the Golden Pavilion which is a gilded pagoda. I guess the monk that initially painted it gold was thought a fool but now it is the most famous temple in Kyoto, or at least most popular for tourists, so perhaps they feel differently now. The group was given free roam to take pictures, get some snacks and use the restroom so we broke away and had some fun taking way more pictures than can be considered normal. While doing so, a group of middle school girls and their teacher approached and they asked us if it would be okay to ask us a few questions to practice their English. It was pretty cool to see them reading the English off the page they prepared while struggling through it. I could totally relate from when I learned Spanish. Anyways, we took some pictures afterwards with them as evidence to their teacher that they spoke with someone. In Hawaii this happens in reverse quite often with students seeking out Japanese tourists in Waikiki to ask them questions in Japanese for practice.

After stopping for lunch in the park we continued onto the part of town we had dressed up and did tea at a few days ago. This area is famous for the Geisha Girls that study in the area. Geisha Girls, contrary to popular stereotypes, are very sophisticated and knowledgeable entertainers. They are almost like how royal families basically exist nowadays for high society, almost like something out of a movie. There is a formal apprenticeship that occurs before becoming a Geisha and it is extremely costly, not only in terms of dollars, but it is a lifelong commitment. It can be seen though as one of the first feminist movements as Geisha promotes self-sufficiency for women.

We finished the day at another famous spot: the Fushimi Inari Shrine. Marked by the path of over 5,000 orange gates (which of course are all sponsored by corporate entities) this shrine is dedicated to prosperity. What marks prosperity in Japan? Rice (insert eye rolling here). So the fox has rice balls in its mouth or will have a key which unlocks the cellar where you store rice and on and on it goes. Inari is the Shinto god of rice so it all checks out but I just can’t fathom the love for rice here. If we had more time, there is a really cool hike through this shrine and it’s orange gates that leads up a mountain. It takes several hours to complete but is supposedly gorgeous at the top.

As for things we learned on our ride today that I couldn’t fit in elsewhere, there are symbols for big and small in Japan. These are the symbols that have perplexed me on the toilets for 2 weeks now and it all makes sense: it is for when you need a small flush or a bigger flush!

Today we learned a little bit about why there are no trash cans. Apparently ~20 years ago a terrorist attack was carried out by putting bombs in trash cans which led to the country getting rid of a lot of trash cans for safety. After 9/11 happened, that was enough for them to justify almost completely eradicating trash cans from public life.

One thing I still haven’t had explained to me though is why nobody wears athletic gear or even shorts. It is almost like there is an agreed upon dress code here. Even business men look to be in uniform as all suits and dress shirts are essentially the exact same color.

One last thing that I’ll remember from the tour is our guide who was a French national living here because he knocked up his girlfriend 20 years ago who was from Kyoto and stayed to raise the kid. That’s unremarkable, what was amazing is that Japan consistently produces the best workers and highest productivity per capita of any country and yet he, like every other Parisian I’ve ever met, had some hot takes about how the French way is superior and other people are idiots. So he explained to us how his sons went to French schools in Kyoto because the Japanese don’t know how to school kids properly. I’ll never understand and I’ll certainly never agree with French smugness. It’s exhausting.

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funnythingshere0-blog · 6 years

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Jimmy Kimmel's 35 Funniest Jokes From ABC's Upfront

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Jimmy Kimmel's 35 Funniest Jokes From ABC's Upfront

Jimmy Kimmel delivered a welcome respite from the nonstop network shilling, show promos and ratings spin during this year’s TV upfronts.

In keeping with tradition, the ABC late-night host took the stage at the Lincoln Center in New York on Tuesday afternoon to skewer his network. He spared no one during the 15-minute set, taking jabs at all the other broadcast nets, Roseanne and Shonda Rhimes’ departure for Netflix.

He kicked off the set on a more serious note, however, addressing the reason he was absent during the 2017 presentation. “On behalf of my family, I want to thank you for the outpouring of support and well-wishes for my son,” he said, noting that his son Billy, who had heart surgery during last year’s upfronts is now a year old. The Jimmy Kimmel Live! host then quipped, “You’ll be happy to know he’s doing much, much better than network television.”

Below, The Hollywood Reporter has compiled Kimmel’s best lines.

1. This year’s upfront is going to be a little different because this is our first ABC-Freeform presentation. I’ve been a big Freeform fan since, uh… 20 minutes ago when I learned what it was.

2. We have a new slogan this year at ABC: Forward Together. Hillary Clinton had a yard sale and she let us have that for almost nothing.

3. Somehow we have more people watching this upfront right now than most of our 10 o’clock shows.

4. I’m proud to say that unlike last year, we’re not in last place. I’m proud to say that honor belongs to Fox — I mean, New Fox. Now with jazz pods. What a week it’s been for you guys. NBC gave you jazz hands, Fox gave you jazz pods. Jazz pods sounds like something you’d use to wash leotards. But the reason Fox is calling them jazz pods is that they wanted to find a way [to offer] shorter commercial breaks and appropriate black culture at the same time.

5. Fox needs help. They canceled Lucifer and The Exorcist. They can’t even make a deal with the devil.

6. As you know, Disney, our company, is in the midst of negotiations to buy Fox. It seemed to be a done deal but then last week, Comcast did, like, the surprise ex-boyfriend who shows up on The Bachelorette right before she’s about to get engaged. Comcast shows up and weasels their way into our business. We got peacock-blocked is what happened. So now, it looks like there could be an epic bidding war. But mark my words, if there is a war, Bob Iger will prevail. He can just charge it to his Black Panther card.

7. How this will work if the sale goes through, nobody seems to know. All we know for sure is someone is buying Fox, the Murdochs are getting richer and everyone is redoing their kitchens with a motherfucking pasta faucet.

8. We have a lot riding on this merger. We can’t lose Fox and Shonda Rhimes in one year. As you know, Shonda has decided to part ways with ABC. She’s moving on and it’s a shame. Shonda is an amazing talent and person who changed the face of this network. Now that she’s leaving for Netflix, I can honestly say on behalf of everyone here at ABC who have worked with her for so long, we hope she rots in hell.

9. No, we’re very sad to see Shonda leave, but as the saying goes: When one door closes… you’re fucked.

10. So we’re saying goodbye to Shondaland and we’re going head-first into Roseanne-istan with no exit plan. Our bigly-ist hit of the year is Roseanne. Roseanne is the No. 1 show as you’ve heard repeatedly in total viewers and the demo. So everyone who says Hollywood is out of new ideas, we’re not; it’s just that one of our new ideas was to Google, “What were our old ideas?”

11. No one at ABC expected Roseanne to be a big hit. Although, to be honest, we don’t expect any of our shows to be hits. But Roseanne‘s success proves that the older and crazier you are, the more today’s audience likes you. And that’s why we’re so proud to announce our new series, “Gary Busey Proves 9/11 Never Happened.”

12. Our new strategy is resurrecting old crap, and with that said I have three words for you: “Who’s the Boss?” I mean, literally — who the hell is running this network?

13. We’re not the only ones doing our greatest hits. Will & Grace; Fuller House; Murphy Brown is back at CBS. That’s right, CBS knows what millennials want and they’ll be damned if they give it to them. Maybe I shouldn’t say this but I have to admit, I’m kind of excited about Murphy Brown. I think it’s refreshing, really, to see anything brown on CBS.

14. NBC privately has been talking about rebooting The Cosby Show. But for obvious reason, they’re not going to call it that. They’re calling it “The Bad Doctor.”

15. We’re also recycling shows that other networks throw away. Fox is reviving canceled ABC shows; ABC and NBC are reviving canceled Fox shows. This is what’s known in the industry as a failure orgy. You cancel a show and it doesn’t even mean anything anymore.

16. Sometimes we have high hopes for a show and they don’t pan out. For instance, America will not see a fourth season of Quantico, in the same way they also didn’t see the second and third seasons of Quantico.

17. We canceled Deception, a show about a magician who used magic tricks to help police solve crimes, which is a shame because it was such a good idea.

18. We even canceled Marvel’s Inhumans. ABC did something remarkable with that. Somehow we managed to have the only unsuccessful project with “Marvel” in the title — ever. It had never been done before.

19. But look, this year is going to be different. This year is going to be so great.… That was a joke.

20. We’ve got three new comedies and five new dramas. And I should warn you, some of the comedies aren’t that funny. But some of the dramas are hilarious.

21. We also have a new reality dating show called The Proposal. The idea of this show is contestants compete to marry someone they haven’t met. It’s like The Bachelor without The Bachelor. I haven’t seen this yet but it sounds to me like this isn’t a dating show so much as it’s a thinly veiled sex-trafficking operation. The Proposal is actually very similar to these upfronts because you guys are opening your hearts, or wallets, to a slate of shows you know literally nothing about. Will they be good? Will they be terrible? You really won’t find out until you’re already fucked.

22. Nathan Fillion is back with a new cop show called The Rookie, which is great news if you were worried your Aunt Joanne wouldn’t be horny enough this fall.

23. We’re also picking up a show called Whiskey Cavalier. It took a while but we finally came up with a title that’s worse than Cougar Town. Whiskey Cavalier is described as a high-octane hourlong action dramedy that follows the adventures of tough but tender FBI super-agent Will Chase, whose code name is “Whiskey Cavalier.” Should we cancel it now or should we wait until you leave the room?

24. NBC is touting an all-Chicago Wednesday — Chicago Med, Chicago Fire and Chicago PD — all in one Chicago night. Hey NBC, I have an idea for a show. It’s called Chica-go to another fucking city already. You ever heard of Denver? They have a fire department, too.

25. NBC also says they’re cutting back on commercials. Their plan is to add 10 percent fewer ads on primetime. They need that extra time so Law & Order: SVU can have one more cab driver per episode who says, “The victim was a nice lady.”

26. Fox is cutting their commercial time, too. I mean, Netflix cut their commercial time down to none and they’re doing great, I guess. But everybody goes crazy binging all these programs. I’ll tell you something — maybe I’m old-fashioned but I don’t like watching a show straight through with no commercials. I need a break every nine minutes so I can breathe and learn about Chobani yogurt.

27. More people are streaming content than ever before. According to a new report from Nielsen, adults aged 25 to 54 watch two hours and 28 minutes of streaming content per day. What they don’t mention is that at least an hour of that is porn.

28. Young people are abandoning traditional television in droves. They’re not just cutting the cord, they’re eating the placenta. We are definitely not down with OTT. We need to bring these millennials back to television. Millennials, by the way, are the people responsible for the smell of strawberry vape smoke in every Uber. Those are the people we need back.

29. Millennials have no idea how good they have it with all these choices. We didn’t have choices. Remember when we didn’t give a shit what was on TV? Frasier again? Fine. What am I going to do, read?

30. But what they didn’t have back then was the ability to target specific types of viewers. Now, more than ever, we have so many ways to reach your customers. You’re going to hear a lot about “blockchain” this week. And here’s what’s important about it: Nobody has any idea what it is. You don’t know, we definitely don’t know — but what we do know is that we’re going to charge you up the ass for it.

31. Our technology gets more advanced every year. We are on the verge of having data that is so specific, you will be able to blackmail viewers into using your products. Imagine how many cases of Budweiser your customer will buy to stop you from revealing that they actually watch Man With a Plan.

32. If anyone in this room has used the words “retargeting,” “grand purpose” or “vertical anything” today, please raise your hand, stand up and walk out into traffic.

33. We promise you this: At ABC, our programmatic ad-tech attribution models are retargeting SSP using AI and omnichannel blockchain algorithms to offer hyperlocal content amplification with an optimized CTR and ROI that will make you S-H-I-T your P-A-N-T-S.

34. I don’t know what I just said but it seems to have resonated. Let’s be honest, this is all nonsense. Our ratings are going down and our price is going up. Too bad, eat it. We’re four years from having our brains digitally infused to our Instagram accounts, OK?

35. So here’s what I think we should do. Just let these stupid shows wash over us, clap politely and then let’s just get blackout drunk together. Our president is a lunatic and we’re all going to die. And if we keep this up, with these buzzwords, you know what it’s going to say on our headstones? It’s not going to say “RIP” anymore, it’s going to say “KPI.” You want that? I know I don’t. Let’s not do this again next year.

Jimmy Kimmel

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babylon-bitch · 6 years

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Just Friends ~ I'm Scared Of Myself (part 56)

Harper White is best friends with Luke Hemmings, they always have been. Not only is she friends with the rockstar, but with the rest of 5 Seconds Of Summer, as well as a really nice girl named Erika.

Harper has a few secrets, she can play all the instruments the boys play and many more. It’s a talent she has kept hidden, only very few people know.

What will happen to the six teens, wondering around the world together?

Warnings: mentions of depression and language

***

“Bye mum, I’ll text when I land, see you soon.” I say.

“Have a safe flight, tell Angus to text me back, and tell Josh to Skype me again soon. Tell everyone I love them, bye.” She replies.

“Bye dad, hopefully I’ll see you soon enough.” I smile at him.

“Be careful, and study hard, bye we love you.” He pulls me into a hug.

“Love you guys too, bye.” I wave and turn around, making my way further into the airport.

After a while I’m all sorted, I’ve gone through security and now I’m just waiting for my flight back to England, which is going to be a long time, but I’ve got a book and my laptop so I’ll be good. There’s also a load of shops so I won’t be going hungry any time soon.

Slouching in my seat, I begin to respond to some emails, from viewers and companies.

“Harper?” Someone’s voice questions.

I look up and see Ashton and Calum.

“Oh, hey! What are you doing here?” I ask.

“Turns out we have a meeting in London before tour starts again. I didn’t know you were flying out today.” Calum explains.

“Well I thought I should get back because I’ve already missed so much school, so yeah. I also thought I should see a therapist quite soon, because if I’d get one in Australia, there’d be no point if I’d only be here for a couple days.” I tell them.

“Understandable, I can’t believe we’re getting on the same flight without know.” Ashton says.

“Yeah, what a coincidence.” I sigh. “Where’s Luke and Michael?”

“Somewhere over there, they’re talking to some fans or something.” Calum points to his left.

“Right, so what are you doing after your meeting?” I ask.

“We’re staying there for a couple more days, before we head to somewhere in Germany.” Calum replies.

“It’s gonna be so fun to get back on the road again, I’ve missed it, playing on my own in my room just doesn’t do it for me.” Ashton adds.

“Hey guys- Harper?” The voice of Michael Clifford fills my ears.

“Hello.” I nod and notice Luke walking towards us.

“What are you doing here?” He asks.

“What does it look like?” I deadpan.

“You’re gonna punch me?”

“Ugh, you annoy me so much, I’m so tired.” I groan.

“It’s like 8 in the evening you old lady.” Calum tells me.

“I was up most of the night, so cut me some slack.” I reply.

“Hey?” I hear Luke questions as he reaches us. “What’s going on?”

“Harper came to stop the plane so she could confess her love for you.” Michael teases.

“Now I will hit you.” I say and punch his side.

“Are you on your period or something?” Michael questions.

“Luke, tell him to stop.” I whine and pull his hand.

“Michael stop.” Luke sighs.

“Wow, you just saved the world Luke.” Calum sarcastically claps.

“You’re so scary, I’ll stop immediately.” Michael waves his hands in the air.

“I’m too tired for this.” Luke says and sits next to me.

“No wonder you’re Soulmates, you’re literally the same people.” Ashton shakes his head.

“Shut up.” I groan and go back to my laptop, that causes the others to drift into a conversation, I’m not sure what about but I’m not really listening so I don’t care.

“What you doing?” Calum childishly sings next to me, after a couple minutes.

“I’m responding to emails.” I’m boredly reply.

“Why.” Calum asks, keeping the same tone as before.

“Because I have to.” I sigh.

“W-”

“I’m moving.” I announce and close my laptop, beginning to get up.

“No! I’m sorry.” Calum whines as I begin to take a step, and grabs my hand.

“Will you stop annoying me?” I question.

“I promise.”

“Fine.” I say.

“Yay! Thank you.” He cheers and I sit down again, going back to what I was originally doing.

I don’t know why he wanted me to stay because he just goes back to talking to Ashton and Michael.

“How are you feeling? Like are you sore anywhere?” Luke speaks up after a while.

“Because of uh, being hit?” I question.

“Yeah.” He nods.

“Not really, sometimes if I lie down funny my hip and leg hurts, or if I lift something heavy for longer than a minute.” I answer.

“Well that’s lucky.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I stare down at my outstretched legs.

“I found a song the other day that reminded me of you.” Luke tells me.

“Yeah, what is it?” I ask.

“It’s by The Maine and it’s called I Only Want To Talk To You.” He says.

“I’ll look it up later.” I smile. “I love when people say they found something that reminds them of me, like you’re thinking of me, it’s so sweet.”

“Are you kidding? You’re always on my mind.”

“You could tag me in so many memes then.” I try to steer the conversation away.

“Nah, that Michael’s department.” He jokes.

“Yeah, that true, I bet you’re only discovering the troll face-”

“I’ve just gotta say, I’m so glad you guys are talking again, I know it’s none of my business, but it makes me so happy to see that you guys still have a relationship. Also, well done on your recovery Harper.” Someone that I figure is a fan says to us.

“Thank you.” I smile.

“It’s good to still be in contact.” Luke adds.

“Yeah, we’re still friends, we always will be.” I tell her.

“You honestly don’t know happy this has actually made me.” She beams.

“So what’s your name?” Luke asks.

“Felicia.”

“Oh my God, if we ever have children, can we name it Felicia?” Luke questions me.

“Maybe.” I laugh.

“I agree, you should name it Felicia.” Felicia agrees.

“No, if we ever had a child, it would be named after Ashton or Michael.” I shake my head.

“Imagine if we had an army of children, we could name them after all of us, Erika, Maddie, Calum, Ashton, Michael, Harper, and Luke.” Luke exclaims.

“An army of children?” I question.

“Yeah.” He nods.

“You’d make some hot babies between you.” Felicia interjects.

“Thank you.” Luke and I say in unison.

“Couple of things, I’m not gonna give birth 7 times, and I’m not letting you stick anything in me 7 times.” I claim.

“Yeah right, keep telling yourself that babe. Plus, if we ever had twins, we could name them Maddie Michael.”

“What if they’re both girls or both boys?” Felicia and I say unison.

“You don’t have to be a specific gender to be called a name, look at Michael for instance.” Luke points out.

“What on earth am I witnessing?” Felicia laughs. “All I came over here for was a picture and to talk a little.”

“So you didn’t like our chat about an army of children?” Luke asks.

“It was unique?” She trails off.

“Sure. So, picture?” I ask.

“Thank you.” She smiles and pulls her phone up and all three all pose.

“It was so nice meeting you.” I beam.

“Yeah, I’m glad and kinda sorry you witnessed us talk about an army of children.” Luke chuckles.

“You better name your child after me.” She grins and begins to walk away.

“Can’t make any promises.” I call.

“Army of children?” Michael questions.

“A small army.” I add.

“I agree with her, it is nice seeing you guys talk again.” Ashton smiles.

“Uh, forget that, you guys are gonna have a baby?” Calum asks.

“I mean, if we haven’t seen each other in a while, when we do, it’s gonna be electric baby.” Luke smirks and I look at him in disgust.

“Ew.” I grimace and push his head away.

“Don’t act as if you didn’t enjoy it when we were together.” He laughs.

“Past tense Luke, and I mean, I’m not gonna deny it, but now it’s gross.” I say.

“Yuck, it was bad enough for us to hear you guys talk about sex when you were dating, but now that you aren’t, it’s even grosser.” Ashton tells us.

“Why don’t you make a deal that if you are both 35 and single or something you’ll get married.” Michael joins in.

“We already made one of those, it was if we were 40 and single, we’d get together.” Luke confesses.

“What! Harper and I made one together too. If Harper and I were 38 we’d get married.” Calum exclaims.

“Well this is awkward.” Michael and Ashton say in unison.

“We made ours when were 15, when did you make yours?” Luke questions.

“When we were 17 or 18.” Calum says.

“We were most likely dating then!” Luke’s eyes widen.

“Fuck.” I burst out laughing.

“Okay, if we are both single my tomorrow, we will get back together, then fly to Vegas, and get married.” Luke proposes.

“Nope.” I say and put my hand on the back of Calum’s neck and begin to pull him in, but burst out laughing before he even gets remotely close to my face.

“Legit thought you were gonna kiss me.” Calum giggles.

“No, you’re not my type.” I say.

“What is your type?” Ashton laughs.

“Blondes with blue eyes, and maybe a lipring.” Michael mocks me.

“Well I’m not gonna disagree.” I shrug.

I love this, we’re all acting as we used to, which is so great. It’s not the slightest bit awkward, we’re actually having fun.

I continue to chime into the conversation every now and then whilst I continue to reply to emails, I know I’m going to be so greatful for doing it later on because I’ll be so tired.

“What do you think it’s like to shove an icicle up your ass?” I hear someone say.

“What?” I exclaim.

“New it’d get your attention.” Ashton chuckles.

“What butt stuff?” I question.

“Eh, you into it?” Michael asks.

“Not even the fucking slightest, bumholes creep me out, I don’t get why people are obsessed with asses, like shit comes out of it.” I shake my head.

“They’re so nice to put your hand on, they shape your body, embrace the ass, Harper.” Luke tells me.

“Someone put that on a t-shirt.” Michael laughs.

“Your hand was literally glued to my ass, I don’t get it, I didn’t mind it, I just don’t understand.” I say to Luke.

“Oh, Harper, sweet, sweet Harper.” Calum cooes.

“So you’re saying you dont like my ass?” Luke asks offended.

“That’s different.” I deny.

“How?”

“Well firstly, I didn’t have my hand on it 24/7.” I start off.

“You had the opportunity.” He smirks.

“I hate this conversation, an ass is an ass, nothing more to me.” I wave them off, and go back to my laptop.

“What seat are you?” Ashton asks.

“8C, what about you guys?”

“Well fucking lucky you, we got that row too, although, someone will be sat next a stranger.” Michael tells me.

“Fan-fucking-tastic.” I groan. “The thought of spending around 23 hours straight with you physically hurts me.”

“You love us really.” Luke teases.

“I guess, depends what kind of mood I’m in.” I shrug. “I’m not sitting next to Michael am I?”

“Not exactly, he’s 8D.” Ashton answers.

“At least he’s not right next to me.” I say.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom and cry now.” Michael wipes a fake tear away and storms off.

“Tragic.” I mutter.

“Could you imagine cleaning a plane?” Calum muses.

“Uh, yeah, I guess.” I trail off.

“Yeah but like it’s all empty, imagine hovering the floor.” He giggles.

“I want some of what ever you’re taking.” I mutter.

“Just air.” He clarifies.

“And a fuck ton of sugar.” Ashton mumbles.

“Ugh, it’s far too late for this.” I groan.

“It’s half 8, Harper.” Ashton deadpans.

“Your point?” I ask.

We all hear the sound of shoes squeaking towards then Michael appears infront of us, with a grin.

“I just saw someone’s wiener!”

“This is a conversation I’m not willing to go into.” I sigh.

***

The small movement under me causes me to open my eyes, and I grimace at the uncomfortable feeling in my ears.

“Oh, you’re awake.” The voice of Luke says.

“Yeah.” I sit up properly and rub my eyes, then realising where I just came from, more specifically, where and who I was leaning on, I had my head rested on Luke’s shoulder.

“Oh, sorry.” I sheepishly say.

“It’s okay, I had my head rested on yours too, not even 15 minutes ago.” He admits.

I lean back again and pull my phone out of my pocket. “How much longer left?” I ask, with a yawn.

“Uh, like half an hour or something.” Luke explains.

“Half an hour I’d like to spend asleep, so shut up.” The voice of Calum groans from next to Luke.

“Sorry.” We say in unison with a chuckle.

I lean my head on Luke’s shoulder again and go on my phone again. Luke affectionately scratches the side of my head, and goes back to his laptop.

“Here we have have a moody Calum, and a sleepy Luke and Harper.” Michael speaks up and shoves his phone in our faces.

“It’s too early for this.” I whine.

“My bad, we have moody Harper and Calum, as well as a sleepy Luke. Also, you were saying it was too late for this earlier.” Michael comments.

“Time is a thing, Michael Clifford.” I tell him.

“So tell everyone how it’s going guys.” Michael encourages us.

“Ugh, I will throw your phone out of this god damn plane.” I threat.

“Okay, uh, I’m going to go for a little bit, be back in a while, please send help.” He talks to his phone before ending it.

“Have this.” I say and throw a gummy bear at him.

“Oh, what that mouth do?” Michael smirks when I eat a gummy bear.

“A lot of things actually.” I say.

It’s a little while later now, we’re all waiting to be picked up, I’m sitting on my suitcase, Michael and Ashton are messing around, playing something like it on them, and Calum and Luke are on chairs with their phones. I’m being picked up my Angus and Josh, whilst the others are being picked by someone that I don’t know.

I’m actually terrified to face my brothers, it’s not like they will say anything negative about it, but I’m so ashamed. I have to face everyone else too, which I’m going to put off for a while.

I’m not sure if I’m going to tell my friends that it was a choice to stay and stand there, or not. They have a right to know, but they hardly know about me in that way.

I’m terrified of myself, I was actually capable of doing that, I willingly put myself in danger, with a plan that it would end everything. I’m terrifired of myself that I voluntarily stood still, because I was hurting so much.

I’m still hurting, and I still have that option.

I trust myself, I do, but there’s a piece of me that worries about how I’ll feel in the dark of the night, all alone, with things that could do some serious harm to myself.

“You look like you’re thinking hard, what’s up?” Luke interrupts my thoughts and tucks a part of my hair behind my ear.

“Uh, nothing.” I shake my head.

“Really? Because when I see you staring at the ground, and I say your name 3 times, and you don’t answer me, it seems like something important.” He points out.

I roll back on my suitcase to make some distance between us.

“Speak to me.” He softly says.

“I’m scared of myself.” I confess.

“Why?” He asks.

“Because I made a choice to not move, it wasn’t subconsciously or anything, I actually made that decision, hoping everything would end. I could do that again, at any time, and that scares me.”

“I get that, but I guess you just have to ask yourself, is this really worth it? Is it really worth ending a precious life, because you’re getting caught up in your feelings? I know it feels as if you’re suffocating, or the air is all clogged up and there’s no fresh air, but just wait or do something, until you get fresh air again. You begin to get used to clogged air, and forget what fresh air is like. I need you to promise me, that you won’t doing anything to yourself.”

“It’s not as easy as that, just saying I promise isn’t going to stop me from doing anything. Words can’t exactly stop everything, Luke. Look at how many promises I’ve made to you about this, I’ve broken every single one of them. Promises have just become lies to me.” I weakly state.

The sad sigh Luke does tells me he gets the last part.

“I know it’s a lot easier said than done, but that doesn’t mean you have to stop trying.”

“Try to what? Get better again? I’m so deep in this shit, I don’t think I can properly get out again, without the person that pushed me. I’m at a new rock bottom, and it’s so fucking low I can’t even see the top anymore.” I admit.

We stare at each other, Luke in disbelief and me in sadness.

“You really n-”

“I’ve gotta go.” I shake my head and picking my stuff up before making my way out the building.

“Harper, I-”

“Don’t, Luke, please.”

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