#it is good to feel partially (not totally!!) responsible - it encourages feelings of community and connectivity!!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

atalana · 3 years

Text

[copied over from my cr blog, also this is gonna get long, i’d apologise but im not sorry]

okay, so

this is a rant probably about 7 years in the making, bc when i first watched lok i had not done any music study, i had not done any composing of my own, my knowledge of music theory was at a primary school level and i still thought tv soundtracks were just made by one person composing a whole cache of music and then the audio editors pick and choose what track to place where

(spoiler alert that’s not how film and tv scoring works, i have now done a music composition course where we had to score a short film, among other things, and i have so much more respect for tv composers jesus christ)

but this one stuck out to me even way back then, bc me barely knowing what a leitmotif was was like “hey this one little refrain keeps popping up whenever bolin does lavabending, and i like it, i’m gonna see if it’s on the soundtrack”

it was not, and that’s sort of where i left it back in 2014, but i actually did a rewatch of lok pretty recently out of nostalgia, and then noticed it even more

and to explain why (and this is also a little bit why five’s stuck out to me in tua, i’ll get to that in another ask), let’s cover, leitmotifs, and tv scoring in general

so a leitmotif is basically just a short musical idea that represents something in a piece of music. when i studied motivic development we were encouraged to make that motif four notes or less, and then develop it into something longer (aka a theme), because if you can constantly come back to a really short idea while keeping the piece moving, that’s what makes a piece of music memorable

(you can ignore those rules on purpose but that’s a different essay)

so the most common way that a leitmotif shows up in soundtracks is to represent a character or a location - you play the motif when that character shows up or when you’re in that location and boom, the audience associates that motif with that person place or thing, and you can then use this to tell the audience things without actually telling them. for example, star wars playing the imperial march whenever someone does something darth vader related - darth vader isn’t on screen, but you can feel his presence, because his music is playing

and if we were a film score, where we have two hours to show one particular character’s development, great! we give them a simple motif, and then as they grow as a person we change their motif to reflect what is happening to them, until we end up with something that communicates on a subconscious level how much they’ve grown. we toss in as much symbolism as we can, and we have a really great soundtrack that’s instantly memorable

tv scoring, is harder. partially because of time constraints (have you ever composed half an hour of original music a week, and had to make sure it fits perfectly with every beat of what’s happening on screen? these guys have), partially because there’s a much larger focus on ensemble casts

so what atla and lok do, for the most part, is not score individual character motifs for everyone. this is fairly common in tv soundtracks, instead we score ideas, concepts, and feelings - these’ll come up a lot more and give you more information than just “oh hey this character’s on screen”

the avatar state, for example, has the strongest and most recognisable theme across both shows. i’m linking an atla track in here because it has the best example but you’ll know this shows up with korra too - and with particularly important moments for wan, for kyoshi, etc. they also appear in the opening of both shows, four strong notes that start and end on the same note (in the case of what i’m linking, it’s an F#)

youtube

the first part of this track is the more uncertain, pensive theme that comes up when both avatars are feeling doubt/worry/sadness, but then it transitions into the more recognisable four. worth noting though, those are both basically the same motif. if i write them out back to back, you’ll notice they both have four notes and start and end on F#. if i had to guess, four notes four elements, and it comes back to the start because the avatar is a cycle.

korra has a theme for when she’s fighting, but not an individual character theme. the airbenders as a concept have a theme, republic city has thematic instruments, as do some big name characters, like iroh and his tsungi horn (this is also a cross-series thing, he’s always playing it in atla, it shows up when zuko has to make big moral decisions, and when we first meet iroh in the spirit world in lok, it shows up there too, to let the audience know who this is before we properly see him)

so, if korra doesn’t get a single theme and instead has several for different aspects of her life, and mako and asami follow along with the mood of the story like all the other characters, the fact that bolin has a personal leitmotif at all, let alone a solid, developing one, is pretty remarkable!

now, granted, it mostly starts with book 3, before then he was like every other character, but it has clear symbolism through those last two books! and, initially i thought it was related only to his lavabending, since that’s most of when it shows up, but since my rewatch, i’ve started calling it his hero theme

see, when people wanna criticise mako and bolin, usually the comments they get are that bolin’s too immature and mako’s too serious/uptight. but like, that’s how they work, you can’t analyse either of them without the context of the other. since they were little kids on the streets, bolin chases his heart and mako makes sure they don’t die from it, that is their entire childhood. and neither would have got here on their own because mako wouldn’t take the necessary risks and bolin wouldn’t take the necessary precautions. (like. remove either one from the equation and they’d still be working for the triple threats bc s1 and their flashback miniseries make pretty clear that bolin got them out and mako kept them out)

and then book 2 proves it! because it splits team avatar up, and what happens? bolin is totally taken advantage of by varrick and used as a pawn in his evil plan and mako ends up in jail

so what’s book 3, to them? it’s, being able to find themselves without having that codependency. mako no longer has someone to protect, which is what he’s based his whole life around so far - bolin’s doing fine and he’s no longer dating either korra or asami. and bolin’s trying his hand at some of that responsibility (look at how he immediately adopts kai who is explicitly them but younger because he wants to be the older brother for once). most importantly, they find the rest of their family, and stop being defined by being orphans. they don’t have to be that singular piece of a puzzle, they can just be themselves. and that’s where bolin’s character really starts to shine, because that’s when they bring in the bending plot, and bending, perhaps more than any other character, really gets to the heart of who bolin is

if you want more of my thoughts on that i have an essay here, but tl;dr: bolin’s an extremely powerful earthbender, but he’s not a metalbender because metalbending requires you to double down on the earth characteristics and think like an earthbender, and bolin doesn’t, he’s too fluid for that, which is one of his major strengths, so of course he can lavabend

and finally - to his motif itself! (as a note, i’ve put all of these in the same key to show where it repeats, but there’s a variety of keys used in the show)

as far as i can find, it first shows up in s3e8, when bolin stuns p’li with this well placed shot

[Edit: it first showed up in the s2 finale, but again in a simplified version and again with him doing something heroic with earthbending, so we can still start the analysis here]

mako volunteers bolin for that job, because he knew bolin was capable of it. why? because bolin landed an identical shot earlier in the episode, after trying to metalbend, getting frustrated he can’t, and cheating with some extremely well aimed earthbending. it’s just a short refrain and you barely notice it, but it’s the first connection of this motif with the theme of bolin’s bending

it looks like this, and it’s always played on a trumpet, which is part of why i call it the hero theme, because, if you’re looking at music from a western perspective, trumpets were used to herald kings, and then used to represent military glory, and then when superhero themes started happening, they used trumpets too - it’s basically western music shorthand for hero these days

(it’s also symmetrical so that helps with the good vibes)

and he’s saving everyone here, so it’s linked to his bending, but it’s also linked to his heroism

it ties the two together, and they are tied together.

when’s the next time it shows up? episode 10, when the brothers are in prison in ba sing se, and bolin tries to metalbend them out. again, he’s doing this to save people, and this motif gets a few notes added on to the end in a raising pattern - they’re inspiring, but they don’t go anywhere. which is exactly what happens in the scene, because he’s trying to go about this in the wrong way. mako believes in him, but it won’t (and doesn’t) work

it appears in episode 12 when bolin saves everyone from ghazan destroying the temple, in a more fancy orchestral remake of the first version - it’s impressive, but it hasn’t actually developed yet, it’s just his discovery of it

the book 3 finale already has its own fucking amazing soundtrack, i love that entire episode’s score, but it gets its own moment there too, and the first real development!

because what we hear is not what we’ve heard before. we know it’s the same theme, because it’s using those signature trumpets, but it’s the second part of this phrase, the answer to the question supplied by the first one. why? because bolin’s figured out who he is and he’s starting to use it. it still hasn’t settled yet though, it’s early days and he’s still just turning ghazan’s lava back on him, so again, it raises, leaving it on a question mark

it doesn’t appear in s4e7 when he lavabends as a warning against the escaped prisoners, because he’s using it as a threat, not to help people. but it does later in the episode when he uses lavabending to save them from kuvira. and that’s when we get the first full phrase, question and answer

it keeps the first motif identical, takes out the first note of the second, and ties them together - except now it’s not open ended, now it knows where it’s going - it’s been three years, at this point bolin is confident in both himself and his bending

and then that phrase appears all over the place in the finale, because all bolin does is save people - everyone from the exploding building, he slows the giant mecha with lavabending, he saves opal, he slows the giant mecha again by collapsing a building on it, and most importantly, he’s the one rescuing his brother this time, instead of the other way around (though that one doesn’t get a motif appearance bc admittedly a fuck ton of other things are happening in the soundtrack at the time)

so to that question asked in book three - who is bolin when not next to someone else? well, funnily enough, we saw it in book two as well, just in a warped way, playing nuktuk. it just wasn’t truly him because it was created by varrick, and he needed to get away from varrick too. the question put forward by the narrative is who is bolin, and the answer given by the music is, he is a hero. and i don’t know why bolin is the only one to get a theme like this, but i think it may have something to do with the fact that, while everyone in team avatar has been a hero and saved people, he is the only one who has, from the start, solely been motivated by wanting to help people. he follows his heart, and his heart cares, about everyone. it’s been the driving force behind almost everything he’s ever done. and i love him so much

#so yeah those are my thoughts on bolin go forth and cry with me about five notes on a trumpet #legend of korra #lok #bolin #music

28 notes · View notes

widonotts · 4 years

Text

on fjorester

I wanted to put my thoughts together and say something brief in response to a bit of valid criticism on Discord, but it became a gargantuan monstrosity, so instead of doing what I usually do and just sending like 5 2000-character messages anyway, I’m just gonna... put this here, even though it isn’t formatted like a Tumblr post should be.

So… Jester and Fjord’s dynamic is much more complex than it initially seems, and I think that’s kind of the whole point.

The way their relationship started out could tend towards tropey (and in turn make it seem less deep than it was) because both of their stories intertwine into something very similar: from the beginning of the campaign, they have both been grappling with the question of 1) who they are; 2) who they’ve expected to be, and who others have expected them to be; and 3) who they have the responsibility to be as they grow and change.

Both Fjord and Jester begin the story trying to fit into these very different but equally claustrophobic boxes—Fjord trying to be Vandran, trying to be a leader, and Jester trying to fit into a fairytale, trying to be a supporter. They’re both denying themselves of their own self-worth, agency, and feelings in favor of the roles they feel like they’re “supposed” to play.

(I think this is where the idea that Fjorester is extremely heteronormative comes from, when in fact the parallel beauty of their arcs, both individually and as a pair, is that both of them start the story out conforming to heteronormative expectations that hold them back from the people they grow to be. They seem heteronormative because the evolution of the dynamic has been of two people with heteronormative ideas, unlearning them and growing.)

But even as they played these roles, Fjord and Jester always saw each other. This is, of course, partially because they knew each other for a month before the rest, but they never stopped trying to know each other. One of my favorite moments is in 2x43, after the battle against Avantika and her crew, when the Nein are starting to figure out where to go next. We’ve had a couple of weird moments where Fjord isn’t talking in a Southern accent, but we don’t really understand it. And then, Jester comes to Fjord one-on-one and asks about Vandran, and finally says, “Do you think if we find him, you'll stop talking like him?” It’s such an amazing moment, and so reflective of how much she cares.

That care is by no means one-sided, though, and I don’t think that’s always acknowledged. Fjord is not always wise; that much is true. He doesn’t always know exactly how Jester sees things (but that’s extremely true of everyone—in this past episode, Beau asking about TravelerCon to try and cheer her up, resulting in Jester finally opening up to everyone about how deeply sad she is, is a great example).

But even when he doesn’t initially understand, Fjord communicates with her and is open with her; he expresses that he wants to understand where she’s coming from, and he tries to (and succeeds at) doing so. He checks in with her, asks how she’s feeling, and is there when she’s hurting. He not only sees her but continues to try to see her as best he can.

Maybe it’s not brought as too much because it’s a funny group moment, but I think the “I’m not Fjord, I’m Jeff! Sell Jeff three things about the Traveler” scene is legitimately a really great example of Fjord just being there for her. It’s a hilarious scene, no doubt; both Fjord and Jes are brilliant, and the humor is only heightened by the Guidance and Fortune’s Favor Cad and Caleb keep giving, and then Yasha feeding Jester lines—it’s totally uproarious.

But it’s also just... Fjord supporting her. It’s him wanting to encourage her and help her feel confident. It’s just one example—I don’t want to pull up, like, a record of every time they’ve talked lmao. But even now, as Jester’s been going through so much, as her entire world is being flipped on its head, he’s been such a point of comfort for her. (But don’t get me wrong—each member of the Nein has been a point of comfort for her, too.)

No matter what, though, I don’t the onus is solely on Fjord to initiate something romantic if he wants something to happen. For one, it’s no longer clear that Jester is romantically interested in him. She hasn’t always made her affections clear, in my opinion. Her overzealous pursuit of him early in the campaign has waned as she’s grown and matured and let some of her expectations go, so it’s not something he’s just doing nothing about for no reason.

To an extent, he and Jester are in a similar place regarding their relationship: wondering how it can grow. (That’s what Jester’s blurb for “Summer’s Gone” in combination with the lyrics themselves says to me: that she still doesn’t know how their relationship will grow now that they’ve grown themselves.) Because neither Fjord nor Jester want the kind of relationship that early-campaign Jester was pushing; they want something more mature and full and reflective of who they are, not who they were trying to be. And that more mature, developed relationship has the possibility to take many forms.

I don’t think it’s totally fair to say that he made her doubt herself or broke her heart, when they both did a lot that made them question themselves and each other; when the problem was that they were both growing and learning and becoming, and that came with growing pains. During that time, Fjord still thought he was not his own person but a tool; he had very little value of himself.

That arc showed not only how he struggled with the power he’d been dealt, but also with the humanity he’d found himself with, really for the first time in his life. Fjord has been reconciling this whole campaign with the idea that he doesn’t have to be this lionized version of a leader, an ideal of a man, someone who exists not for himself but to support others so that they might reach their goals. He can be his own person, and he can do good.

Both Fjord and Jester have been on a kind of double helix of a trajectory, where they’ve both been learning to allow themselves to just be. To let themselves feel what they feel and take up space in the world. They both know that about each other—and they’ve both been there for each other as they both try to figure it out. I think that’s why, to me, it doesn’t fall into that category of one of those relationships that doesn’t need to be so drawn out; all of the incredible growth they have gone through is critical to their relationship developing into something more mature and truly genuine.

It’s just confusing to both of them to have this nebulous question around what their relationship is, and we’ll definitely have to wait to see which way it grows. But it’s a really beautiful and poignant dynamic to me, and one where both of them care very deeply and show that to one another really well in my opinion, so I’m invested in it no matter what.

#misc #fjorester #critical role #cr #fjord cr #jester lavorre #long post #long. fucking. post #my thoughts #(my new tag for my original posts since apparently with critical role i vomit out 1200 word essays for literally no reason at all)#.....................................................should really adapt all of the 10000 character essays ive unnecessarily sent in the wb #server over to tumblr where essays are actually like..................................... welcome #noooooooo you can't even see the line breaks on the dashboard..... fjuck this is so much text i tried to break it up

14 notes · View notes

whumphoarder · 5 years

Text

D is for Diploma

Summary: Between all of his commitments, Peter’s grades start slipping, putting him in danger of losing his academic scholarship to Midtown. Stressed and guilt-ridden about the effect this will have on May’s finances, he ends up worrying himself sick and having a breakdown in Tony’s lab.

Word count: 3,759

Genre: emotional hurt/comfort, angst, hurt/comfort

A/N: Thanks so much to @xxx-cat-xxx and @sallyidss for beta reading and encouragement <3

Link to read on Ao3

“But how are you getting a C in gym class?” Ned balks at his friend. He’s peering over Peter’s shoulder as he scrolls through his quarterly grades on the school library computer. “Everyone gets an A. I’m getting an A. All you gotta do is show up and at least look like you’re trying and boom, automatic A.”

Peter rubs a hand at the back of his neck sheepishly. “So, remember after the Rhino dude attacked me, how I had all those bruises that didn’t heal right away?”

“Yeah...” Ned recalls, frowning. “But you said they didn’t hurt.”

“They didn’t! Not really, anyway,” Peter says quickly. “But like, I didn’t really want everyone to see that, so I kinda didn’t change into my uniform. And apparently if you don’t change, Wilson just marks you as absent.”

“Ah.” Ned gives him a sympathetic wince. “Yeah, that’s lame.”

“What I don’t understand,” MJ pipes up, glancing up from the book she’s had her nose in all afternoon, “is the D in Spanish. Rodríguez isn’t even a hard teacher.”

Peter’s face flushes with embarrassment. “So… I might have forgotten to submit a couple assignments.”

She quirks an eyebrow. “You forgot? He reminds us what’s due, like, three times every class period.”

“I mean, it was just the take-home quiz...” he mumbles. “And some of the homework sheets. Oh, and that cultural essay thing about the ancient Mayans.”

“Peter.” She blinks at him. “That was like, twenty percent of our grade.”

“Well, to be fair, I did have a concussion,” he defends. “It was a little hard to remember stuff that week.”

Ned rolls his eyes. “Oh yeah, that makes it so much better.”

Peter huffs out a laugh. Honestly, between all the hours he’s been logging lately as Spider-Man, his frequent internship nights with Tony in the lab, the increasingly demanding decathlon practice schedule as their team moves toward regionals, and the weekend shifts he’s started picking up at Delmar’s (because, let’s face it, the vigilante life isn’t the most lucrative career path—the occasional free churro notwithstanding), Peter thinks he’s been doing quite well juggling everything. Sure, his grades aren’t quite the neat row of A’s and the occasional B he’s grown accustomed to throughout his school career, but it’s not like he’s failing anything.

“I’ve just got different priorities now,” Peter says with a shrug. “I still show up and I’m passing all my classes, so what does the grade matter?”

MJ returns the shrug, looking vaguely impressed with him. “It doesn’t really. I’ve always been morally opposed to using arbitrary numerical values as a measure of academic success.” She shifts her gaze back to her novel before adding, offhandedly, “But you gotta admit, the tuition break is nice.”

And in those nine little words, she might as well have punched him in the gut.

“Oh shit,” Peter breathes out. Hurriedly, he starts gathering books together and getting to his feet.

“What?” Ned asks, looking puzzled.

“Um, I gotta go,” he blurts. And then before anyone can say another word, he’s out of the library doors.

The Parkers aren’t poor, exactly.

May works full-time at her job as a neonatal nurse, besides picking up extra shifts one or two nights a month to give them a bit of cushion. Between her wages and the social security checks that come every month from Ben’s pension, the two of them get by. Sure, Peter might not have name-brand clothes or the coolest tech or even a pair of gym shoes without a bit of duct tape on the soles, but there’s always been food on the table and a roof over his head, so Peter’s never stressed that much about their financial situation.

Maybe that’s how he managed to completely forget about his academic scholarship.

He’s qualified for it ever since he passed Midtown’s entrance exams in the top tenth percentile back in eighth grade. The money is substantial—slightly over two-thirds of the tuition cost is paid for him—and the scholarship automatically renews every semester provided he maintains a grade point average of 3.3 or higher, which has never been a problem for him.

That is, up until now. Factoring in his B in history, the C’s in gym and trig, and his D in Spanish, his GPA is currently sitting at 2.9.

Peter is going to lose his scholarship.

With less than two weeks left before finals, Peter starts cramming in all the studying he can manage. He stays up late, pouring over his trigonometry notes, trying to work his way through all the practice problems he’s been slacking on. He makes a point of showing up three minutes early to gym class every day, even if he has to use a bit of his enhanced speed to get all the way there from the chem labs on the other side of the building. On the train, he quizzes himself on the names of historical figures and the dates of battles long-since fought. Some of his teachers are willing to work with him, letting him turn in late assignments for partial credit or giving him additional projects to complete.

And then there’s Spanish.

“Isn’t there some kind of extra credit project I can do?” Peter begs. “Anything?”

It’s his study hall period and he’s at Señor Rodríguez’s desk for the second day in a row, desperately hoping for anything that could give his grade the boost it needs.

“I’m sorry, Peter,” his teacher says, sounding genuinely regretful. “But you’ve had countless opportunities this semester to get your grade up via homework and test retakes, all of which you neglected to take advantage of. Coming to me with less than ten days left in the semester requesting make up work for assignments worth significant percentages of your grade is simply too little, too late.”

“But… I had a concussion that week,” Peter argues. “Like, right when it was all due. And I would have done the work before, but…” He trails off, unable to finish his sentence without explaining his unorthodox extracurriculars. “I...I was busy,” he concludes weakly.

Rodríguez raises an eyebrow a little skeptically. “I didn’t receive any notes from the nurse’s office about this concussion.”

Peter glances down to his feet. “Well, that’s because she didn’t know, exactly…”

No one did—not even May. After getting all those bruises the week before, Peter didn’t want anyone to know he was hurt again so soon. Apparently Karen hadn’t deemed the blow to the head he took severe enough to override his wishes. He’d just dealt with the headaches and brain fog the best he could and sort of floated through that week on his own. In hindsight, maybe not his best plan.

“Well, I guess this is a good life lesson for you then, Peter,” Rodríguez says. His voice is firm, but not unkind. “Part of growing up is taking responsibility and learning to communicate with authority figures before you get into trouble.”

“Right, and I get that,” Peter babbles, “I just—”

His teacher holds up a finger, quieting him. “My job is to train my students for success in the real world, and sometimes that means reminding you that actions have consequences. ¿Lo entiendes?”

And Peter finds himself nodding. Because, despite the pool of dread growing in his gut, he does understand. He wants to be mad, wants to say it’s unfair and the universe gave him a raw deal and he doesn’t deserve this. But he can’t. Rodríguez is right.

And Peter’s still fucked.

By the time Friday rolls around, Peter’s barely functioning. Besides all the extra assignments and studying for finals, he’s had three days in a row of Decathlon practices, followed by some particularly eventful evening patrols that all went quite a bit later than his usual curfew of ten p.m.

He can’t get much of his lunch down today, which does nothing to appease his friends’ concerned looks. The food seems tasteless in his mouth and he’s so tired he nearly nods off into his cafeteria chicken nuggets.

When school finally lets out, he’s surprised and a little disheartened to see the sleek black car waiting for him in the bus circle. He’d totally forgotten it was an internship weekend.

Figures.

Peter groans as he disconnects the circuits he just switched out. He’s been trying to fix a bug in his suit’s heater upgrade for the last twenty minutes now, but nothing he attempts is working and his head is throbbing so much that his vision is hazy.

“Just try again, kid,” Tony encourages absently from across the workshop. He’s not looking up, fully engrossed as he is in his own project. “You got this.”

“Yeah...” Peter mutters under his breath. Blinking a few times, he rubs a hand at his eyes to try to clear his vision.

He connects a different wire. That one doesn’t yield any better results, so he unplugs it and tries again. Then again. Then again. He’s fairly sure he’s already tried the next combination, but he’s so tired he can’t remember so he does it again just to be sure. Nothing.

Peter is so frustrated now that his hands are actually shaking. He pauses and takes a deep breath before trying again.

This time, the wire sparks at him.

“I can’t do this!” Peter exclaims, shoving the suit away from him across the table. “I can’t do anything! Why am I so fucking stupid?!”

He’s breathing heavily now, tears clouding his vision even further. Within a few seconds he feels Tony’s hand rest heavily on his shoulder. It should be comforting, but it only makes Peter feel pathetic.

“C’mon, just take a deep breath and—”

“No!” Peter blurts, shaking away from Tony’s grip. “That’s not going to fix anything! I can’t fix this—don’t you see?!”

Stepping backwards, Tony holds his hands up in front of his chest, keeping his expression perfectly neutral. “Okay…” he says carefully. “I think you might need a break.”

Tears prick at Peter’s eyes and he instantly regrets snapping at his mentor. “No, no, I didn’t mean that! I’m s-sorry, ’m fine…” he says. It would probably sound a lot more convincing if his breath would stop hitching.

Tony lifts an eyebrow. “Yeah, no, I’m pulling rank here,” he declares. “It’s break time.”

“No!” Peter protests. His hands fumble back on the table for the wires. “I gotta finish it! It’s so close, it’s just—” He cuts himself off as the images of the suit swim before his eyes, his head throbbing. “I, I need to finish…” he concludes lamely.

“Peter, just stop,” Tony says with an exasperated sigh. “You’re no good like this.”

Somehow, those words are the catalyst. Peter feels every emotion he’s been bottling up for the past week erupt inside of him. His breath hitches and his head pulses. “I, I know I’m not,” he manages to say, “but that’s why I gotta… gotta finish, then maybe—”

“Jesus, kid,” Tony breathes out. “That’s not what I meant at all. I was just saying—”

Peter cuts him off. “No, I… I know…” Tears are sliding down Peter’s cheeks now. He runs a hand through his hair, shoulders shaking. “’M sorry.”

Tony’s eyes are a mixture of concern and confusion. “Whoa, hey, what’s going on here?” Tugging the edge of his sleeve over his thumb, Tony uses it to wipe a few of the tears off his cheeks. “Talk to me.”

Honestly, Peter doesn’t even know where to begin. The frustration of his current project, the lack of sleep, his grades, the scholarship…

“I just… I-I have a headache.”

Peter doesn’t know why he says it—the pressure in his skull doesn’t even rank very high on his list of concerns at the moment, yet the simple physicality of it somehow makes it the easiest thing to admit. He rubs the back of his hand at his eyes, but his vision is still so blurry. “Can’t really see straight…”

Tony’s brows knit together. “Is it a migraine?”

“N-No,” Peter says between choked sobs. “Or... I don’t know, I don’t th-think so?” Despite never having had a migraine, he’s pretty sure that’s not what this is. The pain isn’t anything exceptional—it’s just that he can’t seem to stop crying and he’s so fucking tired.

“Either way, I think you’ll feel better once you’ve got a couple painkillers in you,” Tony reasons. “C’mon, let’s get you sorted out.”

Peter shakes his head in weak protest. “No, ’s’okay... “

“Nope,” Tony says, his voice a little more firm. “Trust me on this, you don’t want to work in a lab right now. It’s bright, and loud, and honestly, you’re a bit of a safety hazard at the moment.”

To Peter’s horror, a fresh wave of emotion comes over him and he finds himself properly crying now, his frame wracking with each sob.

“Okay, okay, alright…” Tony murmurs, and Peter feels a hand awkwardly patting him on the back.

It’s all so idiotic, Peter decides, standing in Tony’s lab, crying over things that are completely his own fault and a headache that isn’t even that bad.

“You’re okay, kid,” Tony whispers. “Just breathe.”

As Peter struggles to pull himself together, he feels the hand switch to rubbing circles on his back. It moves up to the back of his neck, but halts as soon as Tony’s fingers touch Peter’s bare skin.

Tony frowns. “Do you have a fever?”

“Wh-What?” Peter’s throat is thick.

“You’re really warm,” Tony explains. He flips his hand around to press the back of his fingers to Peter’s skin, first on his neck, then on his cheek. “Yeah. FRIDAY, can we get a read on that?”

“100.7, boss,” she supplies.

Tony hums a bit. “Yeah, that’s about what I thought…”

Peter doesn’t get it. “B-But I’m not sick,” he protests. “Just—”

“Exhausted,” Tony finishes for him. “When’s the last time you had a full night’s sleep?”

Sniffling, Peter gives a non-committal shrug.

“Yeah, that’s not good, kid,” Tony huffs. “Take it from a guy who has a bit of experience in this area—not sleeping enough will seriously mess you up.”

With a hand on Peter’s back, Tony starts gently ushering the kid out of the lab. Peter doesn’t even bother protesting anymore as he shuffles along, his lip quivering. He figures he’s caused enough trouble today.

Tony deposits him onto the couch in the living room and Peter immediately curls up against the arm rest, squeezing his eyelids shut in an effort not to think about what a fool he’s making of himself in front of his mentor. It doesn’t help much.

“You just chill out for a minute here, okay?” Tony says quietly, draping a blanket over Peter. “I’m gonna get you some meds.”

Peter nods and Tony gives his shoulder a final squeeze before stepping out.

The second he’s alone, the tears start streaming down again, hot and silent and totally uncontrollable. If he’s not working in the lab, then he really should be studying for these stupid finals, but he can’t bring himself to pull out his flash cards. He doesn’t think he can rest—not with so much hanging over his head—but he can’t work either. Tony was right; he’s just no good right now.

When Tony reenters with painkillers and a glass of water, he doesn’t say anything about how Peter is hurriedly sitting up and scrubbing his face with his hands in a pointless attempt to pull himself together. He just presses two pills into Peter’s palm.

Looking down at the painkillers in his shaking hand, Peter’s stomach twists and he’s suddenly not so sure they’ll be able to stay down. “I can’t. I feel sick,” he admits in a whisper.

With a quiet sigh, Tony perches himself on the edge of the sofa, right beside Peter’s tucked knees. “I think you’re just tired, kiddo. Sometimes that makes you feel a little sick.”

Peter doesn’t say anything so Tony passes him the glass of water. “Here. Humor me,” he says. “If I’m wrong, I’ll pay for the dry cleaning.”

It’s a stupid joke, but the corners of Peter’s lips twitch anyway. “Okay,” he croaks.

Peter slips the pills into his mouth and swallows them down with a sip of water. He’s queasy, but it’s not too bad. He goes to set the cup back down on the coffee table, but his mentor shakes his head.

“Drink the whole thing,” Tony instructs.

Peter obeys. It takes him a couple of minutes, but he manages to get the entire cup down and feels just the smallest bit better for it.

Tony takes the empty glass from his hand and sets it on the table. “Think you can sleep now?”

Peter just shrugs. He wants to—god, he wants to—but he doesn’t deserve it. Not when this is all his own damn fault. His voice is barely a whisper when he speaks again:

“I think I really messed up, Mr. Stark.”

Over the next ten minutes, it all comes tumbling out: the job at Delmar’s, the decathlon requirements, the late patrols, his slipping grades, his scholarship, everything.

“I just… I don’t want to change schools,” Peter concludes softly. “I like Midtown. It was the first place I really felt like… well, like I fit in.”

Tony’s been quiet for the whole time Peter was speaking, but now his brow furrows. “Why would you need to quit Midtown?”

Peter blinks at him; isn’t it obvious? “Because the full tuition is eight thousand dollars a semester. Without the scholarship…” he trails off. “I just can’t do that to May.”

A look of relief spreads across Tony’s face. “Is that all? That’s the whole issue?” He huffs out an amused breath. “Done. Consider it paid. Problem solved.”

Peter feels his cheeks flush. He shakes his head frantically. “No, no, I didn’t mean that you should pay! Please don’t do that!”

Now it’s Tony’s turn to blink at him. “Peter. I am a multi-billionaire. Do you have any idea what eight thousand dollars is to me?”

“But you shouldn’t have t—”

“Peanuts,” Tony cuts him off. “I’ve spent more on peanuts than that.”

“But—”

“And by that I mean actual, honest-to-god peanuts,” Tony continues over the kid’s protests. “There’s this company in Peru that slow-roasts them for twenty-one days in a secret spice blend. Happy’s obsessed with ‘em—says they’re god’s gift to mankind. So, for Christmas one year—”

“You can’t pay my tuition!” Peter blurts out.

Tony stops his story abruptly. His eyes narrow at Peter. “And why exactly is that?”

“Because…” Running a hand through his hair, Peter draws in a shuddery breath. “Because… If anyone should pay, it’s me. I-I’m the one who fucked up and lost the stupid scholarship. I should be the one responsible for fixing this.”

“But you can’t fix it,” Tony says bluntly.

Peter’s caught off-guard. “Wh-What? N-No, I just need to get my grades up, and, and…”

Tony’s voice is gentler now. “You can’t, Peter. You can’t get a 2.9 up to a 3.3 by next week, no matter how well you do on your exams. You’ve gotta know that.”

(Peter does know. He’s known for days. He’s always been good at math, after all.)

“So you can’t keep going on like this, trying to make up for what happened,” Tony concludes.

Tears prick at the corners of Peter’s eyes once more. He’s determined not to let them fall this time. “But I deserve it…” he whispers.

Tony shrugs. “If we always got what we deserved, I never would have made it through the 90s.” He huffs out a short laugh. “At least nobody has to bail you out of prison. Same can’t be said for all of us.”

In spite of Peter’s earlier resolve, the traitorous tears slip out anyway. He wonders how he has any left.

Tony sobers a bit. “You’re a good kid, Pete,” he says quietly. “But you’re trying to carry the whole world on your shoulders and that’s enough to break anyone. It’s okay to ask for help sometimes. Even if you fucked up.”

Peter swallows hard. “Okay.”

“So let’s try this again,” Tony says. He makes eye contact with Peter. “What do you need, kid?”

“Right now?” Peter exhales deeply. “I dunno. A nap?”

Tony smirks slightly. “I think we can manage that.”

Peter makes it through finals.

All his extra effort and studying does yield some results. His gym grade increases to a B after Coach Wilson grades his two-page extra credit report on the rules of badminton. The trig final is rough, but he pulls in another couple points there, and the art teacher accepts a few late sketches from the unit on perspectivism. With the help of the final exam, he even manages to eek out a C- in Spanish.

When it’s all said and done, Peter’s GPA sits at 3.1.

“That wasn’t easy to do. I’m proud of you, Peter,” May says sincerely. “You know that, right?”

Peter shrugs. “I guess so.”

They’re sitting together at the apartment’s small kitchen table, May’s open laptop in front of them with all of Peter’s end of semester grades displayed. Peter’s eyes drift down from the screen to the table where a check for eight thousand dollars signed by Tony Stark himself is staring back at him. He sighs.

May plants a quick kiss on the top of her nephew’s head. “Well, I know so. So for now, I’ll just know it for the both of us.”

Peter strokes his fingers over the crisp paper of the check. Besides covering tuition, Tony has now upgraded Peter’s unofficial SI internship to a paid position—something he says he should have done long ago, given how much time Peter spends working in the lab—and that will allow him to give Mr. Delmar his two-week notice.

He knows he should be grateful, but honestly, it’s going to take him some time to wrap his head around the concept of being taken care of like this.

Getting up from the table, May moves over to retrieve a small paper bag from the counter. “That reminds me—Mr. Stark told me to give you this.” She tosses the bag to Peter, who catches it easily.

Curiously, he opens it. He’s immediately hit with the aroma of exotic spices and roasted legumes. Peter can’t help but grin.

A note inside the bag reads: Enjoy your peanuts, kid.

A/N: If you enjoyed this story, you might also like:

Viral Wisdom

Go Down Swinging

A Pressing Emergency

Fic Masterlist

#irondad fic #irondad & spiderson #sick peter parker #hurt/comfort #crying #emotional breakdown #angst #soft angst #Emotional Hurt/Comfort #headache #fever #stress #school stress #gpa

387 notes · View notes

relishredshoes · 3 years

Photo

Interview given to The Severus Snape and Hermione Granger Shipping Fan Group. (sharing here Admin approved)

https://www.facebook.com/groups/199718373383293/

Hello Emma Ficready and welcome to Behind the Quill, it’s wonderful to finally have the chance to chat with you.

Many readers will know you already from works like “Chimaera” and “Sins of the father” for those that don’t, a Trigger Warning from Emma that their works contain graphic violence and abuse and may cause distress to some readers.

Okay, let’s jump right in. What's the story behind your pen name? It's actually my previous name! Although very apt for a fiction writer. Though it's pronounced more like Thick - Reedy, I use it over my new name because my partner does not know I'm a fiction writer, and I don't think they'd react well if they found out, it's something they'd struggle with. I'm a long term partial carer for them and they have some mental health issues, so I try to avoid any situations that could be a potential trigger. Plus I like having something all to myself. Which Harry Potter character do you identify with the most? I think I would say I probably relate to Severus Snape the most. I can relate to how 'damaged' he is, and how much the bullying he endured as a child, affected the adult he became. Do you have a favourite genre to read? (not in fic, just in general) I think I like to read angst the most, as to me that's more real, I don't generally read stories that are entirely fluffy all the way through. I love a happy ending, but I can't cope with total fluff because I find it unrelatable, life isn't sunshine and daisies all the time. Do you have a favourite "classic" novel? I don't know if it's old enough to be classed as a classic, but I'd have to say 'To Kill a Mockingbird' by Harper Lee. At what age did you start writing? Very young. I had my first poem published by aged 10. How did you get into writing fanfiction? After being heartbroken at the end of Harry Potter series , I just wanted more and I had been reading fanfiction stories for years. I was constantly looking for stories, I'd get this thought in my head and it was like 'I wonder if I can find a story about this' and when I couldn't I just thought... well why don't I write it? I also find the writing very cathartic. What's the best theme you've ever come across in a fic? Is it a theme represented in your own works? I love hurt / comfort fics. I'm a sucker for it. It is something that I represent quite a lot in my fictions, because I can see both Hermione and Severus in that role in their own individual way. Hermione who is constantly a champion and a voice for others, and Severus who is there quietly and thanklessly fighting for others the entire time, I can see both of them naturally falling into those roles of 'saving' someone , without it being out of character. What fandoms are you involved in other than Harry Potter? I'm not particularly active in any other fandoms, I have always been a Buffy Fan and I love the Inheritance cycle books by Christopher Paolini , though short of reading other fanfictions I am not active in the community like I am with Harry Potter. If you could make one change to canon, what would it be? The epilogue, probably the most common answer you get and I know everyone is going to expect me to say because she never should've married Ron, but I can see her marrying him and subsequently divorcing him as being true to Character but I'd change the epilogue because I don't think Hermione would or should ever have settled for being a ministry worker, she deserved so much more. Do you have a favourite piece of fanon? I don't know if this counts but... Severus's Patronus changing after he survives the war. I see the doe as symbolic to the debt he felt he owed her, and I like the thought of the visual change of patronus, representing the emotional change he goes through in accepting the past and moving on now he feels that he's fulfilled his promises. Do you listen to music when you write or do you prefer quiet? Quiet! I love music, the heavier the better actually, but I have to be in the right frame of mind for it. Otherwise I can sometimes get sensory overload. I hate white noise and things like asmr, I often wear hats or headbands, or have my hood up to block out some noise. What are your favourite fanfictions of all time? How long have you got? Honestly that's not an easy question to answer, and it doesn't have one answer. But I could say that some of the stories I find myself reading over and over again are 'Sin & Vice' , 'Another Dream' and 'Lay me low'. There's no way I could write all my favourites down here, but they're the ones I re-read most often. My favourite WIP is probably ' Inkstains' Are you a plotter or a pantser? 90% Panster. I will literally have one small idea, it could be one small interaction, one conversation or one event that pops into my head and I will end up writing a story around that one small thing. My story signs entirely stemmed from the one interaction of Severus handing Hermione the note. I knew I wanted that, and then it was by the pants from then on How does that affect your writing process? It means that I do update my stories in a regular order, so no one story is left too long without an update. I literally sit down, crack my knuckles and go 'right, I'm writing the next chapter of this story now. I write it and post it as soon as it's finished. I write from my phone too, so I apologise for any grammatical or spelling errors, auto-correct is the bane of my life at times What is your writing genre of choice? Have you read my fictions!? Interviewer: Well yeah, but I’m asking because you’ll be new to at least some of the audience. (chuckles) Ha. Sorry. Angst, all the way. I write angst and hurt/comfort, very dark stories as I pull a lot of my ideas from the real life experiences of myself and friends I met in therapy. Writing about trauma is very cathartic for me and helps me process my own feelings about my own history. Which of your stories are you most proud of? Why? Did it unfold as you imagined it or did you find the unexpected cropped up as you wrote? What did you learn from writing it? How personal is the story to you, and do you think that made it harder or easier to write? That's a tough one, as there are elements to all of them that are important to me. None of the stories I write quite unfold like I imagined they would, they just sort of take off and I'm along for the ride. I'd be remiss not to talk about Not the Same girl at this point, as that story has probably had the biggest impact for me, the responses it's had and the people reaching out to me, both positively and negatively. I've had some outright hate over that fic, and abusive messages to the point that I almost gave in altogether and I think because of that people will expect me to say Not the Same girl is the fiction I relate to most, and while I do draw a lot from personal experience it's actually Father Mine as that resonates with me on a more personal level, that and an as yet unpublished WIP I have in the works, I think the huge dichotomy of feedback I've had for stories like Not the Same girl though, have both given me a thicker skin to the hate and encouraged me through the sheer overwhelming amount of people who’ve reached out, that find the stories cathartic in dealing with their own trauma, which is gratifying as an author to do that for people, when I myself am looking for that same release in writing it. It's great to have this mutual satisfaction and it's really rewarding. What books or authors have influenced you? How do you think that shows in your writing? I think probably going to refer back to Harper Lee and to kill a mockingbird. The whole premise of telling a story that no one wants to hear or acknowledge, the things that are widely known but rarely spoken about. In “To kill a mockingbird” it's sexism, racism and prejudice against others based on their mental health or intelligence but we still see this so much in daily life, about how much hate and horror and suffering is seen in day to day life, the trauma that so many people have suffered is widely known but swept under the rug because it's easier. No. Hell No. Fuck that. Hiding doesn't change any of it, it may be under the rug but it's still there. People rape other people, people hurt other people, people discriminate based on gender, sexual preferences, skin colour, occupation, people have suffered in life and are damaged by it. Acknowledge it. Don't brush it under the rug, don't ignore it because it's more comfortable for most people, shine the light on it and say. "This is real. This happens. We need to acknowledge it and we need to do something about it" And I think that's shown in my writing , I don't glorify anything, I'm not writing snuff but I don't hide anything either. I make people see this is something that I won't gloss over. Does it make you uncomfortable? Good , it should. If people are uncomfortable , at least they are acknowledging the realness of that situation and not ignoring it. Do people in your everyday life know you write fanfiction? How true for you is the notion of "writing for yourself"? Nobody knows I write fanfiction, I use a previous name and I very much write for my own cathartic relief. I chose not to share that I write fiction because I'm a carer for my partner, I don't know how they'd react, it could honestly go either way where they'd be absolutely fine or it would trigger them and I'd have to stop, that's the reason I keep it to myself, I'd hate to do something that would mean I'd have to stop writing, not when so many people are so emotionally invested in the stories that I write. How important is it for you to interact with your audience? How do you engage with them? Just at the point of publishing? Through social media? Reviews man. Reviews are the nectar of life, I read every single one and though I don't have time to reply to most, trust me when I say that I treasure each one and appreciate them immensely. I have my social media which I find the easiest way to speak to people , I have my own Page on Facebook and I'm on a number of SS/HG groups. It's hugely important to me to speak to my audience and I really encourage them to get in touch with me, I'm always happy to talk about my work and people have been in touch just to talk about their feelings or emotions that have been triggered by my work and I welcome it all. I mean, I've got people translating my stories them into French, into Russian...it's crazy, I never expected it to be so popular and I am always happy to hear from people. Though I apologise if I don't respond straight away, I have to write on the sly and sometimes real life takes over, so I can't log in for a week or more at a time. What is the best advice you've received about writing? First and Foremost, write for yourself. The rest is just gravy. What do you do when you hit writer's block? I move on to another story. I always have more than one WIP at any one time, If I can't find inspiration for one, I'll update another, or start a jumble of notes for others. There's always something that needs to be written down, even if it wasn't what I had planned on. Has anything in real life trickled down into your writing? Very much so. Almost all the trauma and hurt and situations that appear in my stories are either translated from my own experiences or those of people I know. Do you have any stories in the works? Can you give us a teaser? I had a number of stories in the works! When A Cure For Magic is completed, I will most likely post the next one up. I can't give too much away , but the next story is called "Catching Fire" and will be an incredibly dark story, with a lot of morally grey characters. Any words of encouragement to other writers? Just do it. If you want to write it,. write it. First and foremost write for yourself. Don't listen to anyone who's negative ,or unsupportive. I get so many people message me saying things like 'I want to be a writer', but don't know where to start' and to which my answer is you already are a writer. Writing is 99% mental, you have the words, they're there in your head, you just haven't put them down yet. Thanks so much for giving us your time. Any time , it's been great and I'm happy to answer questions any time , thank you for inviting me.

#fanfiction #fanfic #snamione #ss/hg #writing

1 note · View note

newstfionline · 3 years

Text

Monday, November 30, 2020

Turns out working from home means more work (LinkedIn) Employees around the world put in on average half an hour more each day while working from home during lockdowns, workplace software developer Atlassian says in a report. Out of the 65 countries studied, only Brazil and China logged shorter hours during the crisis. Based on when employees interacted with Atlassian’s software, the study also found that people started to shift their workload from the afternoons to mornings and evenings—suggesting greater flexibility, but also a trend of work intruding on what is typically considered downtime.

A professor offered to deliver Thanksgiving meals to all her students (Washington Post) When the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention issued recommendations against traveling or gathering for Thanksgiving, Liz Pearce, a longtime lecturer at the University of Iowa, was worried for her students. “I was afraid many of them might be spending the holiday alone, without a proper Thanksgiving meal,” said Pearce, 61. “I’m a mom and wouldn’t want anybody to feel alone and sad.” Plus, she added, “a lot of local businesses are closing down, and many students work part time in the restaurants and bars, so their sources of income have dried up.” The communication studies professor and mother of four swiftly drafted an email to her 130 students on Thursday, spontaneously offering to hand-deliver a warm, traditional Thanksgiving meal. Finally, Pearce offered to provide additional portions for roommates or significant others. Then, she hit send, having no idea her thoughtful gesture would soon go viral. Within hours, the post amassed close to 1 million likes, over 70,000 retweets, and thousands of comments. For Pearce, the offer to cook for her students was “no big deal,” she said. “I just wanted everyone to know that there was room at my virtual table.” Pearce’s children are especially excited about cooking for students this Thanksgiving, she said. In fact, her 10-year-old son asked to make it an annual tradition. Given the outpouring of support, Pearce decided to pass along the same email to the whole undergraduate class of more than 600 people. She wants to ensure that anyone staying behind in Iowa City is well taken care of. “I don’t want any one student to feel like they are alone,” said Pearce.

Pandemic calls off Christmas markets in Europe (AP) The European plazas where people would usually gather at crowded stalls to partake in hot mulled wine, gingerbread, sausages and other delicacies are just empty squares. Christmas markets, a cherished tradition in Germany and neighboring countries, have joined the long list of annual traditions that were canceled or diminished this year because of the coronavirus pandemic. November saw many European countries impose partial or tougher lockdowns as new virus cases soared. The restrictions are either being retained or only partially loosened as Advent begins Sunday. Nuremberg’s sprawling, bustling Christkindlesmarkt, one of Germany’s best known holiday markets and traditionally a big tourist draw, was called off a month ago. Markets across the country—including in Frankfurt, Dortmund and many in Berlin—have suffered the same fate, with authorities canceling the events or organizers concluding that it didn’t make sense to push ahead with their plans. Over the border in France, the roughly 300 stalls of Strasbourg’s popular Christmas market won’t go up this year. And it’s the same story in the Belgian capital, Brussels.

French protesters clash with police over new security law (AFP) Violent clashes erupted in Paris Saturday as tens of thousands took to the streets to protest against new security legislation, with tensions intensified by the police beating and racial abuse of a black man that shocked France. Several fires were started in Paris, sending acrid smoke into the air, as protesters vented their anger against the security law which would restrict the publication of police officers’ faces. Some 46,000 people marched in Paris and 133,000 in total nationwide, the interior ministry said. Protest organisers said some 500,000 joined nationwide, including 200,000 in the capital. President Emmanuel Macron said late Friday that the images of the beating of black music producer Michel Zecler by police officers in Paris last weekend “shame us”. The incident had magnified concerns about alleged systemic racism in the police force.

Pope urges finding good even from pandemic (AP) Pope Francis is encouraging people to try to take away something good “even from the difficult situation that the pandemic forces on us.” Addressing faithful gathered a safe distance apart in vast St. Peter’s Square on Sunday, Francis offered these suggestions: “greater sobriety, discrete and respectful attention to neighbors who might be in need, some moments of prayer in the family with simplicity.” Francis said that “these three things will help us a lot.”

Turkey’s new virus figures confirm experts’ worst fears (AP) When Turkey changed the way it reports daily COVID-19 infections, it confirmed what medical groups and opposition parties have long suspected—that the country is faced with an alarming surge of cases that is fast exhausting the Turkish health system. In an about-face, President Recep Tayyip Erdogan’s government this week resumed reporting all positive coronavirus tests—not just the number of patients being treated for symptoms—pushing the number of daily cases to above 30,000. With the new data, the country jumped from being one of the least-affected countries in Europe to one of the worst-hit. That came as no surprise to the Turkish Medical Association, which has been warning for months that the government’s previous figures were concealing the graveness of the spread and that the lack of transparency was contributing to the surge. The group maintains, however, that the ministry’s figures are still low compared with its estimate of at least 50,000 new infections per day. The country’s hospitals are overstretched, medical staff are burned out and contract tracers, who were once credited for keeping the outbreak under check, are struggling to track transmissions, Sebnem Korur Fincanci, who heads the association, told The Associated Press. “It’s the perfect storm,” said Fincanci, whose group has come under attack from Erdogan and his nationalist allies for questioning the government’s figures and its response to the outbreak.

South Korea bans year-end parties, some music lessons, as virus spikes again (Reuters) South Korean authorities announced a ban on year-end parties and some music lessons on Sunday and said public saunas and some cafes must also close after coronavirus infections surged at their fastest pace since the early days of the pandemic. South Korea has been one of the world’s coronavirus mitigation success stories but spikes in infections have reappeared relentlessly, triggering alarm in Asia’s fourth-largest economy. Prime Minister Chung Sye-kyun said restrictions would be tightened on gatherings and activities seen as prone to virus transmission, especially in the capital Seoul and surrounding urban areas.

Severe fire danger for Australia as temperatures smash records (Reuters) Parts of Australia, including Sydney, sweltered through the hottest November night on record with temperatures likely to stay high on Sunday, prompting authorities to issue a total fire ban. Sydney CBD surpassed 40 degrees Celsius (104 F) on Saturday while swathes of western New South Wales, South Australia and northern Victoria baked through even higher temperatures nearing 45 degrees. Temperatures are expected to cross 40 degrees for a second straight day on Sunday while the Bureau of Meteorology has predicted a five or six-day heatwave for parts of northern New South Wales and southeast Queensland.

Attack on Afghan army base with car bomb kills at least 30 (Washington Post) A Humvee laden with explosives backed by gunmen struck an Afghan army base in central Afghanistan Sunday, killing at least 30 people and wounding 16, according to local officials. Local media is reporting that most of the casualties were members of the security forces. The bombing is one of the single deadliest attacks to strike Afghanistan in recent months, where violence has been on the rise nationwide despite ongoing peace talks between the Taliban and Afghan government in Doha. Ghazni, seated along a key highway that connects the Afghan capital to the country’s south, is one of the least stable provinces in Afghanistan, with roughly two-thirds of its districts controlled or contested by Taliban fighters.

Sudan inflation soars, raising spectre of hyperinflation (Reuters) Inflation in Sudan has risen to one of the highest levels in the world, and the country risks slipping into hyperinflation unless it gets its budget deficit and money supply under control, economists say. The government has run up enormous budget deficits by subsidising the cost of fuel, then financed the deficits by printing money. This has debased the currency, weakening it against other currencies and driving inflation up to annual 230% in October, according to the state statistics bureau. The skyrocketing prices have led many consumers to spend their salaries quickly, particularly on durable items that hold their value. Idrees Abdelmoniem, who works in marketing at an engineering company in Khartoum, said he had snapped up car spare parts and furniture, but was not as quick with food and drink, whose prices were not increasing as fast. “If I have something I want to buy outside of the monthly house supplies, I buy it as soon as I get money, and I won’t even try to haggle because tomorrow it could be double the price,” he said.

Ethiopia says military operation in Tigray region is over (Reuters) The Ethiopian government launched a manhunt on Sunday for leaders of a rebellious faction in the northern region of Tigray after announcing federal troops had taken over the regional capital and military operations were complete. Prime Minister Abiy Ahmed government has been trying to quell a rebellion by the Tigray People’s Liberation Front (TPLF), a powerful ethnically-based party that dominated the central government from 1991 until Abiy came to power in 2018. He said on Saturday evening federal troops had taken control of the Tigrayan capital Mekelle within hours of launching an offensive there, laying to rest fears of protracted fighting in the city of 500,000 people. The prime minister, who refers to the three-week-old conflict as an internal law and order matter and has rebuffed international offers of mediation, said federal police will try to arrest TPLF “criminals” and bring them to court. However, TPLF leader Debretsion Gebremichael told Reuters in a text message on Saturday evening that TPLF forces would fight on, raising the prospect that the conflict could drag on.

#headlines #news

1 note · View note

jake-richmond · 5 years

Photo

Thoughts on the Anthem demo:

Since I had to take a day off anyway I decided to try out Anthem. Its a 3rd person adventure shooter by Bioware. I had gotten excited about it last year because it looks a lot like both The Division (game play wise) and Destiny (world design wise), both of which I loved. I spent the day playing the demo with my brother Nick and our friend Gabe (who I also played The Division and Monster Hunter World with). They both seemed to like it quite a bit, but I had very mixed feelings...

Good: Anthem takes place in what appears to be a very large open world. Its interesting looking, with lots of space to explore. I love exploring science fiction spaces, and flying around checking out caves and weird alien architecture was fun.

Bad: There's not a ton of stuff in the world. Its hard to tell since this is just a demo, but Anthem's neat world seems to be mostly empty. Theres not a lot of reason to stop and look around. Even the neat features like the ruins of small communities, giant alien structures, huge waterfalls, etc, are mostly just decorative. There doesn't seem to be much to do. There are a scattering of enemies, but not much reason to stop and shoot them.

- Good: Anthem has a setting kind of similar to Destiny, as far as I can tell. You're the last humans in the last human stronghold, trying to protect your way of life and keep your society and technology alive in a very hostile world. Thats not super original, but destiny had a visual style that I liked a lot,and Anthem's visual style, especially for its hub city and its NPC inhabitants seems to be a direct copy. Which is just fine with me!

- Bad: There's no character creation,and you never see your character. The game asks you to select a masculine or feminine voice, and then starts you off in the hub city with no other customization. Anthem is a multiplayer game, but like Monster Hunter World and The Division your hub is an instanced area available just to you, so no other players will ever see you there. While in the hub you're stuck in first person mode, so you never get to see what you look like. This is incredibly frustrating to me.It immediately killed my immersion. Instead of feeling like i was an inhabitant of this interesting world I felt like I was just me playing a video game. In Destiny, monster Hunter World and The Division I felt like I was directly involved in those worlds through my character. Here it felt more like i was going on a theme park ride. Weirdly, as soon as you put on your futuristic Iron Man style armor suit and leave the hub city the rest of the game is played in 3rd person. So you can see your armor, and so can everyone else. And while you can customize your armor a fair amount, this feels less like having a unique character and more like having a fancy cell phone case.

Good: You can fly. Anthem is a big place, and the main way you get around is by flying in your Iron Man style armor. And the terrain of the game really encourages that. You'll fly through underground tunnels, over vast waterfalls, in and out of ravines. Theres a lot of chaotic vertical terrain to explore by flying. Bad: Unfortunately flying sucks. once you're actually in the air the flying controls are okay. They're a little clunky,a nd don't feel super responsive, but they're okay. Unfortunately, getting in the air is awkward. You can't just take off like superman. you need to actually be in the air before you can activate your jets, which means jumping up and taking off, or falling off something and taking off. Its the "taking off" action thats the problem. Hitting the button sends you into a kind of twist animation that sends your thrusting forward toward wherever your camera is pointing. The action can be disorienting, especially since your character isn't always facing the direction your camera is pointing. As a result, you often start your flight going slightly the wrong way, or even crashing into a wall or object (which can send you falling back down to the ground, sometimes hundreds of feet). The move gets easier to do with practice, but after hours it still felt awkward to me.

The bigger problem is that you can only fly for about 10 seconds at a time. Flying is both the main way you get around the game and one of the game's main mechanics. You're meant to be flying and hovering in battle often. But flying has a resource gauge (a heat gauge) and it only takes about 10 seconds to overheat. Which means flights tend to be short and stressful, and using flying to explore the world, or even just enjoying flying for its own sake, is really limited. You can extend your fly time by cooling down your engines by flying through waterfalls or skimming rivers, but that mostly requires hugging the ground, and that kind of defeats the point?

Good: Missions are fun. Missions in Destiny and The Division tended to be short and mostly revolved around going to a place and killing a guy or flipping a switch.The 3 missions in Anthem are all more involved than that, and while none of them are super complicated all involve multiple locations, lots of different enemies and a boss fight. For this type of game they're satisfying. The game also has some public events in its freeplay exploration mode which seem fun. In one I was blowing up supply tents in an enemy camp while waves of enemies tried to take me down. In another i was collection alien tech while a giant monster chased me through a swamp. I wouldn't say these were more compelling than Destiny or The Divvisin's public events (and nowhere near as fun as coming across a random monster in Monster Hunter World), but they were enjoyable and I can see myself stopping to participate in them over and over. The demo's one Strike/Dungeon was also pretty enjoyable.

Bad: Missions do a very bad job of actually telling you the mission mechanics. Each of the three missions and dungeon had a puzzle mechanic, but I missed the explanation for all of them. Partially this was because the game just says "collect the thing", but doesn't tell you what the thing looks like or where it is. It took me forever to figure out the tiny glowing ball (hidden amidst the explosions, power effects, glowing plants, acid baths, strobe lights, exploding insects, grenade blasts, etc) was the item we were supposed to collect.In another puzzle I totally missed that there was a puzzle at all, and thought the game had just glitched and wasn't opening a door. My second time through the dungeon, after having nick explain the puzzle mechanic to me, I watched the poor random 4th player who had joined our party run around the puzzle room in confusion looking for the item, because he didnt realize that the very unobtrusive and hard to notice pouch that had appeared on his character WAS the item. unfortunately all we could do was watch, since he didn't have a microphone connected.

Good: In addition to being able to equip 2 guns, each of the 4 types of armored suits has a selection of built in options hat allow you to attack, defend or support other players. These can be swapped out or upgraded too, which gives you some fun choices. I started out with two different throwing weapon attacks, but eventually upgraded to a mine launcher and an acid spray. There seems to be lots of options. Lots of guns too.

Bad: However, gun play sucks. Maybe its just because I've played Destiny for so long, but gun play in Anthem is stiff ad unresponsive. The guns are also just not very fun to use. Theres several types of guns, but they all kind of feel the same and none of them seem very effective. Thankfully you don't have to rely on just your guns, since the suit abilities are much more powerful. But shooting is a BIG part of the game, an the guns and gun play are just lackluster. The guns themselves may get more interesting as the game goes on, but I'm not sure gun play will at all.

So I'm undecided on the game. This is just a demo, and the game itself could end up being a lot better. But I was pretty excited about this game, and now a lot of my enthusiasm has died. In fact, more than anything its just made me want to go back to playing Monster Hunter World. I'll wait for the game to be released and see what people have to say before I decide for sure.

#Anthem demo #anthem #anthem review

5 notes · View notes

syzygyzip · 6 years

Text

His Cage pt. 2: Wheel of Fortune

This essay may be read on its own, but it is a follow-up to another essay which psychoanalyzes the figure of Holy Knight Hodrick, a character from Dark Souls 3. In this section, the method and purpose of Dark Souls analysis comes under investigation, catalyzed by other images from Hodrick’s environment.

Hodrick as meta-critique of Freudian psycho-interpretation

Dark Souls 3 is known for its skillful, self-reflexive commentary; this game is keenly aware of the subculture that surrounds it. That in mind, what are we to make of the relatively blatant symbolic suggestiveness of Hodrick and the Greatwood? Perhaps their on-the-nose imagery is a reaction to analysis of previous Dark Souls games: the castration narrative is often cited in symbolic interpretation of Dark Souls 1, and the birth canal-esque passage of Dark Souls 2’s tutorial area is a classic introduction for people that play around with interpreting Dark Souls psychologically. And surely those myths and images are semi-intentional, relevant, and illuminating, but they are by no means the place to stop. This lore video points out how the vertebrae shackles collected by Mound-Makers resemble inkblots, the old psychoanalytic tool etched into the cultural memory as an image of Freudianism. One “reads out” of the inkblot the contents of their own unconscious. The understanding of projection, and the compensatory nature of the unconscious was one of the most significant discoveries at the dawn of psychology. Dark Souls could symbolize the principle of this discovery in a number of ways, but it is very intentional with its images, so when it decides to show us an inkblot in particular, the historical context is helpful. It’s an old and simple technique, which traces only the broad strokes of the analysand’s complexes. Likewise, Hodrick, the Greatwood, and Mound-Makers provide the interpreter with the rudiments for symbolic exploration of Dark Soul environments.

Though this area is introductory, it is – like any part of the unconscious – inexhaustible in its depth and generous in its mutability. Consider the amorality of the Mound-Makers. Are they good or evil? Vicious or tender? Sustainers of maya or karmic accelerationists? There is so much room for the player to read into this allegiance a preferred moral perspective, at least partially determined by the general attitude the player keeps in regards to the slaughter of enemies. For the totally “unimmersed,” Dark Souls is a game and a game only, to be played, poked, prodded, to be mastered and speedran, and in that case of course any covenant is merely functional, there to surround and present a mechanic. For that player, the Mound-Makers are truly amoral. But for those who roleplay, who make at least some of their choices based on the imagined ethics of their avatar (despite extremely scarce moral responses from the game itself!), the issue is a little more complicated. Those who are simply in the habit of asking themselves, “Do I want to ally myself with this person’s values?” will not find an easy answer. On the surface, the covenant is abhorrently nihilistic, but a seasoned player may come away with a different take. So in this way the Mound-Makers, like the inkblot, are a measure of a player(/-character)’s feeling-involvement, which is itself born out of the player’s interpretational attitude.

When analyzing an object in a video game, always take into account the method by which it is encountered! Though the route to all this Freudian material in the Undead Settlement is a little arcane, it needs to be. The cryptic riddle about “Nana”, the obscure side-streets: these are there to make the player feel as though they are uncovering something secret. The obscurity is baked-in to make obvious that this material is repressed.

Though the riddle is strange, it is spoken aloud to the player, which is actually quite a telegraph by Dark Souls standards. The handiness of this secret is also metaphorically descriptive of this level of interpretation. If one stops at the purely Freudian: the mother, the father, the phallus, then they will project that schematic onto every available target. They will see reality as nothing more than a circus of oral fixations and castration dramas. If this stage of psychoanalysis is not passed through, it is nothing more than another cage to be carried around. It is the most rudimentary place to get stuck in the engagement with the unconscious.

The Armory of Symbols

What are we to make of the fact that the treasure of this area is the transposing kiln? This round thing, this simple, Arthurian symbol of the Self? It is both representative of the totality, and a totally profane and reductive simplification. I’ll explain what I mean by that.

On the one hand it is a true grail, because it has the capacity to turn the game’s hardest challenges into new tools. This is a fantastic life lesson, fundamental and perennially true. It is the pure gift of interpretation. It is said that the Buddha, in his realization that there is nothing outside of Nirvana, thereby saw that even the most torturous experiences of life, and the most unforgiving realms of Hell, were not apart from Nirvana, and that seeing them in this way thereby rectified this subjective experience of being in Hell. Once it was rephrased as Nirvana, it was always Nirvana, because all the suffering was born out of false views. Anyway, that is a very lofty height of interpretation, but one can see the boundlessness of the tool. That when the true cosmic appropriateness of an instance of suffering is groked, it is changed. On the other hand, transposition is a cheap parlor trick. It changes the essence of a boss into a weapon. It really only does one thing. Some of these weapons are useful, and most are flashy. It is almost mandatory for these weapons and spells to have a unique gimmick. So most of the time they convey to the wielder some unique flavor, some specific characteristic to consider, but even collecting such interpretations as these is merely a “building a collection.” Pinning down butterflies into a glass case. It is really no different than stockpiling corpses as Hodrick does. This device encourages the player to keep fighting, collecting, stacking bodies, finding new and interesting ways to kill people.

And ultimately, the same is true of collecting symbolism. Stockpiling a collection of unused weapons is no more or less a perversion that keeping a catalogue of archetypes for its own sake. The psychological interpretation of Hodrick, the Greatwood, and their unsightly tableau is relatively simple and straight-forward because it is meant to provide the player-interpreter with an introduction to the technique. The “game” of symbolic analysis is pointless if you spend your time taking potshots.

Wheel of Fate

Understanding the symbolism of the Mother through the eyes of Hodrick may be relatively simple, but the Undead Settlement also provides us with a more complex and transpersonal variation of the birth motif, localized at the far edge of town, hidden in a valley below. There we find catacombs tunneled into the rock, reminding us of the community of villagers who labor all day burying their dead. The Great Mother is thereby invoked, in her role which deteriorates form, which composts. The bodies decay, return to the Earth, and nourish new life. We see the skeletons sprouting branches in this dank place.

Also in the catacombs there are the dual figures of Irina the saint and a statue of Velka, goddess of sin, both of whom sit abandoned. The juxtaposition of these two sacred feminine figures is symbolically dense and deserves its own essay, but I mention it here as an echo of Kristeva’s philosophy that we passed by earlier: that of the child’s necessary bifurcation of the Mother into sublime and abject.

Velka alone is highly useful here, amplifying the Great Mother motif to a vast and cosmic context. Velka is a notoriously elusive figure in Dark Souls: she is never seen, rarely spoken of, her motivations are unknown, her ontological status unconfirmed, her objects and attributes seem to contradict each other. Nevertheless she is a crucial if not essential force in the world, and her presence can be inferred for those with eyes to see.

The main Velkan element that should be addressed here is her association with Karma, which is perhaps her principle attribute. From the beginning of DS1, she is introduced as governess of ethics, law, and equity. She explicitly oversees sin, guilt, and retribution. What practices are promoted through this governance? Mechanically, there are primarily two: keeping track of invasion penalties (in DS1) and resetting the world. If you incur penalty as an invader, the Blades of the Dark Moon will find you and punish you. So Velka prolongs and complicates PvP dynamics.

Resetting the world is an effect Velka provides that suggests forgiveness. If you aggro an NPC, and wish to get on good terms with them again, Velka allows that condition. In this way too, Velka is prolonging interpersonal relationships, but it is the relief of debt rather than the accruing of debt. Velka keeps the cycle going, she is like a keeper of the wheel that turns the age. In Dark Souls 1 a statue associated with Velka turns with the cranking of a wheel, in a room full of bonewheel skeletons. In Dark Souls 3, a similar statue turns with the cranking of a wheel in a room full of flies. In both cases, the wheel is hidden in a wet chamber behind an illusory wall. This suggests that behind the façade of the world, there is a primal place from which time is manipulated (though in this case it is but a single “tick” of the clock, an off-to-on switch which causes a fixed rotation).

Does Karma cause the rise and fall of the great ages? Is the distribution of karma the grease that turns the wheel of the world? It does seem to be that desire is what sustains the age of fire. Consider the enemies in the place where the wheel turns: bonewheels, who cling to their instruments of torture, to their suffering; flies, who bury themselves in a mountain of rotted food, a symbol of greed.

The skeletons who throw themselves into combat, and the flies which gorge on their rotting piles: either is a handy metaphor for Hodrick. His lust for the battlefield is another way of keeping himself stuck on the wheel of Samsara, collecting those shackles, representing the Velkan attachments of karma. Velka’s totem, the Raven, is found in flocks on a ravaged cliff in the settlement, among a wealth of corpses to be looted. The Raven is “associated with the fall of Spirit into that which is impure and enjoys carnage […] To raven is to plunder. This is what the word means. To have a ravenous appetite suggests greed and lust and insatiable desires.”(Valborg) Ravens keep the circus of suffering going!

Grist for the Mill

Velka is a bleak goddess, associated with “lifehunt”, the capacity to drain the essence of life, dreaded even by the gods. For this reason one of her attributes is the scythe, so she is something of a reaper figure. But we have seen she is also life-giver and sustainer, through her arbitrage of karma. This ambivalent nature is expressed by the Raven, which is a solar bird yet dyed deep black, who is cruel and enjoys carnage, yet in many myths is associated with the bringing of light and the creation of a new world.

The raven flies to and fro between the solar orb of eternal life and the dying eyes of man in time. He mercilessly pecks away at the delusions formed like veils over the cornea's shield until he penetrates to the darkness of the pupil's cavity and releases the invisible light within. (Valborg)

If the goal of Dark Souls is the realization of the Dark Soul -- the unique potential of the human being -- then perhaps Velka and her karmic processes are meant to midwife that birth as well. Could all the weight of karma, the pain of enduring a body, the cruelty of life’s entropic march … could it all be in service of birthing the Anthropos? It would explain why the Lords of Dark Souls are so antagonist to the Ashen One -- in Gnosticism and Buddhism the makers, the deities, are said to envy the actualized human being. And to be fair, the theme of surviving hardship and loss is central in Dark Souls’ reputation, and something to which countless players can attest, on practical or psychological levels (eg: “Dark Souls Helped Me Overcome Depression”).

Identity Riddles

I am the one who is disgraced and the great one. Give heed to my poverty and my wealth. Do not be arrogant to me when I am cast out upon the earth, and you will find me in those that are to come. And do not look upon me on the dung-heap nor go and leave me cast out, and you will find me in the kingdoms. And do not look upon me when I am cast out among those who are disgraced and in the least places, nor laugh at me. And do not cast me out among those who are slain in violence.

But I, I am compassionate and I am cruel. Be on your guard!

Do not hate my obedience and do not love my self-control. In my weakness, do not forsake me, and do not be afraid of my power.

-- excerpt from The Thunder, Perfect Intellect ca. 100-230

The abject Mother sits at the edge of the symbolic order, in fact it is her abjection that positions the boundaries of that order, yet it itself does not accept boundary. “Abjection preserves what existed in the archaism of pre-objectal relationship, in the immemorial violence with which a body becomes separated from another body in order to be” (Kristeva 10), referring to birth and symbolized by the Hodrick and Greatwood scene, but beyond that it also refers to the Dark Souls creation myth: the archaism in that case being the undifferentiated fog of arch-trees and everlasting dragons in the Age of Ancients. For there to be matter and objects, psyche (dragons etc) must be born into time. Once psyche has materialized itself upon the wheel of time, it cannot exist in immediate, gestalt totality – it moves and changes, expressing its fullness over aeons through its becomings. But everything must be accounted for; Karma only brings what is due. The mystery of how psyche is refined by its extension into matter will likely stay with us until the “end” of time. But with common sense we can suppose that the condition of duration allows things to be taken apart and put back together, and that at least in our mundane lives that process frequently brings about some freshness in the object. But neither the meaning nor mechanics of the larger karmic process can be groked, just as Velka and the Mother are archetypes who inherently escape the fixidity of signification. The ultimate force of taking things apart, entropy – symbolized again by the raven and its desecration of corpses – is something that has been deeply culturally villainized, and it usually takes a second to stop and consider how the diffusion of matter engenders the condition for new forms to grow.

[Ravens] tell of the renewal of the world in terms of the past which is yet to be. The unwanted Truth is told and its insatiable desire to express itself may produce terror and loathing in one who is not prepared to give up all to its insistent glare.

This is keeping with Kristeva’s view of the abject as the eruption of the Real into consciousness. Aside from their role in pecking open an aperture of light, crows have another specific job in the renewal of the world, as described in a number of myths: measuring the size and extent of that world, flying in “progressively longer intervals in order to estimate and report on the increasing size of the emerging earth.” The extremes of incarnation, the edges beyond which dwells the abject, are scoped out in order to create the blueprint; the raven brings knowledge of the schematics.

Interpreting by Attention

And what about our own schematics? We’ve thrown away our tools – the colorful cast of characters transposed into weapons of interpretation – but perhaps it’s time to pick them up again. We cast them off because we didn’t want to fix the Dark Souls myth through explanation. Archetypes cannot be superimposed, prefab, onto a tableaux of psychological symbols. Interpretation is rather the act of elaboration: flying, as the raven does, around and around a widening and changing arena, reporting back continually new understandings of what is appropriate.

The meaning of a game is determined by what a player thinks and feels while they play it. What decisions they make, what their attention lingers on. The game is the inkblot. There are special times when the game insists upon a subject, like a film: for instance, when the crank is turned and the Velka statue rotates. But such a sequence has a different meaning in games than it does in film, because of its context: it anchors a player to a single necessary and unchanging action in the context of a world that is typically responding to their decisions with nigh-unrepeatable novelty. The fixedness of the cinematic exposes the malleability of the rest of the game. “Velka” is an approximation, an aggregate; she is not the same goddess in each playthrough, the scope and the flavor of her influence is always changing – but it is always reflecting the actions of the player.

So how then, can we arrive at a judgment regarding Hodrick? We can’t, because again, each player’s experience of him is different. Earlier I implied that Hodrick is clinging to the world, out of horror and alienation in regards to the Mother figure, and that his killing spree is only building his attachments, keeping him fixed to the wheel of incarnation. So what is the difference between his wild manslaughter, and Velka’s own penchant for carnage and lifedrain? Only the intent:

The transformation of relationship can come about through a genuine understanding of the difference between murder and sacrifice. Both kill or suppress energy, but the motives behind them are quite different. Murder is rooted in ego needs for power and domination. Sacrifice is rooted in the ego’s surrender to the guidance of the Self in order to transform destructive, although perhaps comfortable, energy patterns into the creative flow of life. (Woodman 33)

But see, it is only the inner experience of the act that has authority. In my view, Hodrick’s actions are clearly ego-driven, but another player with different exposure to this character could come away with a different impression. And the archetype speaks through the individual encounter itself, not through lore videos, essays, or any other metatext. This is a crucial function of video games that bears repeating and is rarely addressed. Games commonly use the act of killing as a metaphor for the transformation of relationship (the very notion of EXP hinges on that). The unconscious is receptive to these mutations regardless, but the nature of the effect is dependent on the conscious attitude of the player.

Kristeva, Julia. Powers of Horror. Columbia University Press, 1980.

Layton, Bentley, ed. The Gnostic Scriptures. Yale University Press, 1995.

Valborg, Helen. The Raven. Theosophy Trust, 2013.

Woodman, Marion. The Ravaged Bridegroom: Masculinity in Women. Inner City Books, 1990.

19 notes · View notes

kaofeather · 3 years

Text

MG V

The Last Phase

With the outbreak of World War II, the nationalist struggle in India entered its last crucial phase. Gandhi hated fascism and all it stood for, but he also hated war. The Indian National Congress, on the other hand, was not committed to pacifism and was prepared to support the British war effort if Indian self-government was assured. Once more Gandhi became politically active. The failure of the mission of Sir Stafford Cripps, a British cabinet minister who went to India in March 1942 with an offer that Gandhi found unacceptable, the British equivocation on the transfer of power to Indian hands, and the encouragement given by high British officials to conservative and communal forces promoting discord between Muslims and Hindus impelled Gandhi to demand in the summer of 1942 an immediate British withdrawal from India—what became known as the Quit India Movement. In mid-1942 the war against the Axis powers, particularly Japan, was in a critical phase, and the British reacted sharply to the campaign. They imprisoned the entire Congress leadership and set out to crush the party once and for all. There were violent outbreaks that were sternly suppressed, and the gulf between Britain and India became wider than ever before. Gandhi, his wife, and several other top party leaders (including Nehru) were confined in the Aga Khan Palace (now the Gandhi National Memorial) in Poona (now Pune). Kasturba died there in early 1944, shortly before Gandhi and the others were released. A new chapter in Indo-British relations opened with the victory of the Labour Party in Britain in 1945. During the next two years, there were prolonged triangular negotiations between leaders of the Congress, the Muslim League under Mohammed Ali Jinnah, and the British government, culminating in the Mountbatten Plan of June 3, 1947, and the formation of the two new dominions of India and Pakistan in mid-August 1947.

It was one of the greatest disappointments of Gandhi’s life that Indian freedom was realized without Indian unity. Muslim separatism had received a great boost while Gandhi and his colleagues were in jail, and in 1946–47, as the final constitutional arrangements were being negotiated, the outbreak of communal riots between Hindus and Muslims unhappily created a climate in which Gandhi’s appeals to reason and justice, tolerance and trust had little chance. When the partition of the subcontinent was accepted—against his advice—he threw himself, heart and soul, into the task of healing the scars of the communal conflict, toured the riot-torn areas in Bengal and Bihar, admonished the bigots, consoled the victims, and tried to rehabilitate the refugees. In the atmosphere of that period, surcharged with suspicion and hatred, that was a difficult and heartbreaking task. Gandhi was blamed by partisans of both the communities. When persuasion failed, he went on a fast. He won at least two spectacular triumphs: in September 1947 his fasting stopped the rioting in Calcutta, and in January 1948 he shamed the city of Delhi into a communal truce. A few days later, on January 30, while he was on his way to his evening prayer meeting in Delhi, he was shot down by Nathuram Godse, a young Hindu fanatic. Place In History The British attitude toward Gandhi was one of mingled admiration, amusement, bewilderment, suspicion, and resentment. Except for a tiny minority of Christian missionaries and radical socialists, the British tended to see him at best as a utopian visionary and at worst as a cunning hypocrite whose professions of friendship for the British race were a mask for subversion of the British raj. Gandhi was conscious of the existence of that wall of prejudice, and it was part of the strategy of satyagraha to penetrate it.

His three major campaigns in 1920–22, 1930–34, and 1940–42 were well designed to engender that process of self-doubt and questioning that was to undermine the moral defenses of his adversaries and to contribute, together with the objective realities of the postwar world, to producing the grant of dominion status in 1947. The British abdication in India was the first step in the liquidation of the British Empire on the continents of Asia and Africa. Gandhi’s image as a rebel and enemy died hard, but, as it had done to the memory of George Washington, Britain, in 1969, the centenary year of Gandhi’s birth, erected a statue to his memory. Gandhi had critics in his own country and indeed in his own party. The liberal leaders protested that he was going too fast; the young radicals complained that he was not going fast enough; left-wing politicians alleged that he was not serious about evicting the British or liquidating such vested Indian interests as princes and landlords; the leaders of the Dalits doubted his good faith as a social reformer and Muslim leaders accused him of partiality to his own community. Research in the second half of the 20th century established Gandhi’s role as a great mediator and reconciler. His talents in that direction were applied to conflicts between the older moderate politicians and the young radicals, the political terrorists and the parliamentarians, the urban intelligentsia and the rural masses, the traditionalists and the modernists, the caste Hindus and the Dalits, the Hindus, and the Muslims, and the Indians and the British. It was inevitable that Gandhi’s role as a political leader should loom larger in the public imagination, but the mainspring of his life lay in religion, not in politics. And religion for him did not mean formalism, dogma, ritual, or sectarianism. “What I have been striving and pining to achieve these thirty years,” he wrote in his autobiography, “is to see God face to face.” His deepest strivings were spiritual, but unlike many of his fellow Indians with such aspirations, he did not retire to a cave in the Himalayas to meditate on the Absolute; he carried his cave, as he once said, within him. For him truth was not something to be discovered in the privacy of one’s personal life; it had to be upheld in the challenging contexts of social and political life. Gandhi won the affection and loyalty of gifted men and women, old and young, with vastly dissimilar talents and temperaments; of Europeans of every religious persuasion; and of Indians of almost every political line. Few of his political colleagues went all the way with him and accepted nonviolence as a creed; fewer still shared his food fads, his interest in mudpacks and nature cure, or his prescription of brahmacharya, complete renunciation of the pleasures of the flesh. Gandhi’s ideas on sex may now sound quaint and unscientific. His marriage at the age of 13 seems to have complicated his attitude toward sex and charged it with feelings of guilt, but it is important to remember that total sublimation, according to one tradition of Hindu thought, is indispensable for those who seek self-realization, and brahmacharya was for Gandhi part of a larger discipline in food, sleep, thought, prayer, and daily activity designed to equip himself for service of the causes to which he was totally committed. What he failed to see was that his own unique experience was no guide for the common man. Scholars have continued to judge Gandhi’s place in history. He was the catalyst if not the initiator of three of the major revolutions of the 20th century: the movements against colonialism, racism, and violence. He wrote copiously; the collected edition of his writings had reached 100 volumes by the early 21st century. Much of what he wrote was in response to the needs of his coworkers and disciples and the exigencies of the political situation, but on fundamentals, he maintained a remarkable consistency, as is evident from the Hind Swaraj (“Indian Home Rule”), published in South Africa in 1909. The strictures on Western

materialism and colonialism, the reservations about industrialism and urbanization, the distrust of the modern state, and the total rejection of violence that was expressed in that book seemed romantic, if not reactionary, to the pre-World War I generation in India and the West, which had not known the shocks of two global wars or experienced the phenomenon of Adolf Hitler and the trauma of the atom bomb. Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru’s objective of promoting a just and egalitarian order at home and nonalignment with military blocs abroad doubtless owed much to Gandhi, but neither he nor his colleagues in the Indian nationalist movement wholly accepted the Gandhian models in politics and economics. In the years since Gandhi’s death, his name has been invoked by the organizers of numerous demonstrations and movements. However, with a few outstanding exceptions—such as those of his disciple the land reformer Vinoba Bhave in India, and of the civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr., in the United States—those movements have been a travesty of the ideas of Gandhi. Yet Gandhi will probably never lack champions. Erik H. Erikson, a distinguished American psychoanalyst, in his study of Gandhi senses “an affinity between Gandhi’s truth and the insights of modern psychology.” One of the greatest admirers of Gandhi was Albert Einstein, who saw in Gandhi’s nonviolence a possible antidote to the massive violence unleashed by the fission of the atom. And Gunnar Myrdal, the Swedish economist, after his survey of the socio-economic problems of the underdeveloped world, pronounced Gandhi “in practically all fields an enlightened liberal.” In a time of deepening crisis in the underdeveloped world, of social malaise in the affluent societies, of the shadow of unbridled technology, and the precarious peace of nuclear terror, it seems likely that Gandhi’s ideas and techniques will become increasingly relevant. Much of what he wrote was in response to the needs of his coworkers and disciples and the exigencies of the political situation, but on fundamentals, he maintained a remarkable consistency, as is evident from the Hind Swaraj (“Indian Home Rule”), published in South Africa in 1909. The strictures on Western materialism and colonialism, the reservations about industrialism and urbanization, the distrust of the modern state, and the total rejection of violence that was expressed in that book seemed romantic, if not reactionary, to the pre-World War I generation in India and the West, which had not known the shocks of two global wars or experienced the phenomenon of Adolf Hitler and the trauma of the atom bomb. Prime Minister Jawaharlal Nehru’s objective of promoting a just and egalitarian order at home and nonalignment with military blocs abroad doubtless owed much to Gandhi, but neither he nor his colleagues in the Indian nationalist movement wholly accepted the Gandhian models in politics and economics. In the years since Gandhi’s death, his name has been invoked by the organizers of numerous demonstrations and movements. However, with a few outstanding exceptions—such as those of his disciple the land reformer Vinoba Bhave in India, and of the civil rights leader Martin Luther King, Jr., in the United States—those movements have been a travesty of the ideas of Gandhi. Yet Gandhi will probably never lack champions. Erik H. Erikson, a distinguished American psychoanalyst, in his study of Gandhi senses “an affinity between Gandhi’s truth and the insights of modern psychology.” One of the greatest admirers of Gandhi was Albert Einstein, who saw in Gandhi’s nonviolence a possible antidote to the massive violence unleashed by the fission of the atom. And Gunnar Myrdal, the Swedish economist, after his survey of the socio-economic problems of the underdeveloped world, pronounced Gandhi “in practically all fields an enlightened liberal.” In a time of deepening crisis in the underdeveloped world, of social malaise in the affluent societies, of the shadow of unbridled technology, and the precarious peace of nuclear terror, it seems

likely that Gandhi’s ideas and techniques will become increasingly relevant. All Credits for...

B.R. Nanda Former Director, Nehru Memorial Museum and Library, New Delhi. Author of Mahatma Gandhi: A Biography and others. Last Updated: Feb 12, 2021

[Gandhi, a British-Indian historical film, released in 1982, tells the story of Mahatma Gandhi and his struggle to win independence for India through nonviolent civil disobedience. The movie won eight Academy Awards, including that for best picture, and five Golden Globe Awards, including that for best foreign film. It was also named best film at the BAFTA ceremony and took four additional BAFTA Awards.]

0 notes

danielskatelyn1990 · 4 years

Text

Bruxism Exercises Top Unique Ideas

This TMJ treatment has its side-effects, which include; withdrawal symptoms that can trigger stress.Studies have indicated that sleep apnea symptoms.Although not a reflex action, but a vast array of other related causes that go along with a feeling of not being well rested, adds more fuel to the grinding creates may also give you access to proven treatments which are natural holistic remedies is a habit that led to a doctor, it does not usually provide patients with severe problems, sometimes surgery can cause pain because it is open as wide as you have been tried first.It is your guide to self-diagnosing your TMJ specialist.

Exercises that teach the patient may be encouraged to eat anything solid.Are you looking for TMJ as well as the muscles of the jaw bones.A natural method to get that much more serious dental problems.- You can also fit you with the TMJ syndrome and, in some form of expensive visits to the teeth and eliminate clenching.That nervousness results in TMJ treatment options that you do this one in your body it can be treated so that they are aware that you might need someone to seek out therapy for the resulting headaches and ear right after a few symptoms of TMJ, then it is always best to consult with a TMJ cure.

o Blood-red color of the joint, muscles, or occlusion.Place your thumb behind and fingers - The throat feeling tightened up, andJaw exercises strengthen and rehabilitate the jaw will recover.You could end up as a blessing that most people with symptoms including loss of sleep, broken teeth, headache, jaw pain, which can radiate to the jaw joint or TMJ for good.Also, you will find through the mouth and rest for the problem includes standing in front of the home remedies solely as a form of arthritis and when their awake.

If you are experiencing it regularly, you must very well know about some cures in this area to ease the pain of the mouth.This doesn't mean however, that the first to allow the muscles of the stress, you relieve the pain, but also find them over the counter drugstores.These include giving your teeth measured.Here are the surgeries performed if you have and will help to identify the patient's and another disease, sleep apnea, are all centered on the jaw, but causes some other stress related version of this disorder.All you need to stop teeth clenching, resting your chin quickly.

The important thing is you can be bought and fixed without assistance from a condition where there is the ball-and-socket joint that connects the skull and headaches or migraines.Everyone should be avoided to avoid causing further damage to the jaw and allowing isometric energy to stretch and strengthen the areas of the symptoms from coming on.Since the jaw is not limited to their teeth from being inflamed.Either way, TMJ results in dysfunction in the jaw must be able to open and close one's mouth.A mouth guard could go for as high as $650 for one.

Following are some simple stress reliving activities such as wearing of dental issues that relate to your physician will suggest is to be tried after you use it.Some of the pain no matter how bad things have been known to greatly reduce, and even the shoulders.At least, most people are constantly looking for information on how to alleviate the pain.This can work with in your sleep bruxism may take time to relax.Dentists usually recommend the best chance to come out of alignment.

Although this does not usually a delay to get rid of the face and your not sure of the mouth.The level of stress or anxiety, though it can cause pain in the right amount of movement that they are all very simple and inexpensive to correct the alignment of the patients from grinding or clenching of the ear, similar to mouth guards carefully designed to relieve these symptoms.This is only a temporary relief can often be an obstruction of the masticatory muscles, which ultimately relieves tension.If you do not pay for a health practitioner and your partner's good night guard and that only time a person has dental disorders, ear disorders like insomnia, snoring, and OSA.What is TMJ Dysfunction No matter the cause of TMJ disease, or TMJ, is a problem nerve function at the later phase of the condition and there are no quick fixes so you should never use home remedies range from conservative dental and medical professionals attribute stress as the lever and the mouth slightly.

This feeling usually goes away on its onset.This joint is damaged, and due to accident or injury, or as exactly as they will protect them from coming back so you will need to work with your bite, it causes anymore damage is sustained.What's the best things a person continues to click, close your mouth.Inhale for up to the temple or in front of the usual misconception that TMJ disorder in the joint which may be suffering from TMJ need not be stretched and pressured..Pain that is commonly known as bruxism, does not actually a long-term TMJ Relief.

Tmj And Headaches

There is no doubt about the condition altogether.Apply relaxation techniques; the most frequently used joints in the neck to ease the inflammation in the ear include hissing, buzzing, ringing sounds in the mastication muscles, in the coming together of the face.Once you rid yourself of TMJ have what is known as bruxism and reduction of many TMJ home remedies can be a primary factor in TMJ disorder, is a drawback considering that mouth guards for patients to wear mouth guards generally cost close to the roof of your tongue to this position for five seconds.A splint is a bite plate which covers the maxillary of mandibular teeth.Doctors are our friends, and I am going to do is jaw pain is not a neurologist.

Stress and anxiety will only make the problem of grinding and clenching can occur at any time.A mouth guard that suffers damage instead of the grinding and clenching.Keep in mind that simple stretching and gentle massages along the TMJ is a different approach for different people.Even if some or all of the mouth is opened causing it to continuously work even without using any type of TMJ and computer use.It protects the teeth and the prescription of analgesic pain relievers are another common complaint of pain and find bruxism relief will usually take about 2 - TMJ can even hamper your day to practice some natural methods.

If you are experiencing the signs and symptoms of TMJ treatment; thus, resulting to better understand the kind of treatment for severe TMJ symptoms and treat TMJ disorders.o Visibility reduced to a lot of gum, or overextension of the breathing exercises.Some doctors may want to try out a treatment for.Over the long term means of curing TMJ, then it is best to deal with it.Sleep on your teeth partially or entirely.

These methods have been hit with the tongue on the muscles around the jaw.Only open your mouth try pressing the pressure on your specific case of Tinnitus, also slow and gentle.The following are the most severe symptoms and pain relief they need to tackle bruxism head on.Even simple lifestyle issues such as gum disease is a beneficial treatment to allow the muscles of speech -- in the day or night.Teeth grinding can be combined with Chinese medications and home treatments will be causing the user allowing them to slide in the jaw joint.

Many totally heal their TMJ symptoms and the pain and symptoms and only if you are experiencing TMJ pain.Hence, these ailments will lead to bruxism caused by problems with the tongue touching the roof of your TMJ disorder is responsible for any headache which persists or otherwise concerns you.Natural TMJ cure through biofeedback which helps prevent grinding of teeth sets, which makes them feel tense or anxious.Bruxism sufferers can present many symptoms, but they are looking for a remedy for the rest the jaw joints back to their doctors would relate your problem to the grinding or clenching behavior typically occurs in two different opinions when it comes to TMD more women then men.Breathing through the mouth method; this method is the medical community as something that tastes sour or bad; it may worsen it if done repeatedly.

Since the force that you may want to stop bruxism.The jaw has a soothing effect on this website is not reflex but a habit to relax the muscles.Common symptoms of bruxism is anything but final.There are already some evidence that it is unknown even after therapy.Some individuals have experienced and may not actually all these prescriptions are; using of mouth guards and splints which can be treated successfully, although it is causing you to grind my teeth no longer suffer from TMJ at least ease the pain that the jaw and surrounding muscles, leading to jaw pain of TMJ can contract forms of body stresses.

Tmj Bone

Also, you will dread just the thought of consuming anything hot, cold or hot gives you the hegu point which is commonly temporary.One way that allows you to reeducate the side of your mouth gets doing this exercise at least 30 minutes each day - perhaps a prosthetic alternative.This plastic dental aid is made by a health concern.These symptoms can range from clicking or popping sounds in the jaw join and affects certain personality types.The use of pain that is meant to be a routine checkup.

Some individuals suffering from TMJ pain relief.Some people automatically think about is, whether you routinely drink beverages containing alcohol or caffeinated beverages, smoking tobacco, or taking a supplement to your primary health care treatment you can do more good than not.Make sure you eliminate foods and drinks high in hyaluronic acid found in making efforts or moves to one side of the pain that cannot be easily diagnosed and treated as soon as today.No matter how hard you grind, and clench your teeth at night.Another tip is to keep you from ever developing bruxism.

#Bruxism Exercises Top Unique Ideas #Bruxism Crown

0 notes

losbella · 4 years

Text

0 notes

news-sein · 4 years

Text

0 notes

news-lisaar · 4 years

Text

0 notes

xox-hitorabu-xox · 7 years

Text

||Izaya is both an Anti-hero and Anti-Villain

The fact that Izaya wanted to start a war for his own ends(albeit partially understandable ones, considering his fear of death), not to mention him framing people for murder and other things, makes him not 'good' per say, and undoubtedly questionable. But the fact that he hasn't killed anybody(and the novels even saying he values human life just like anybody else; wasn't somebody that would kill without batting an eye)(and don't bring up Shizuo, because that's a double-sided matter), hasn't raped anybody, and hasn't committed any crimes worse than any of the other characters makes him not ‘evil’. Not to mention the fact that he went against one of the antagonists, Amphisbaena, and pretty much got them broke apart. Aside from him working on both the side of the police and the mafia. Above all else, the fact that he probably doesn't love himself and the fact that he cares about Shinra down deep, in his own way(the only way he knows how), and the fact that he punches a telephone pole when he FINALLY truly realizes that Shinra is not only his friend, but his only friend, and he gets scared because he doesn't want Shinra to be mad at him for nearly betraying him, and then the fact that he runs away from what he did, and basically sacrificed his friendship, not facing Shinra after that - and one very importantly the fact that his twisted personality is most likely caused by not only partially Shinra's stabbing, but also parental neglect, a very realistic cause of a twisted personality like his, makes him human. And that's all he is: he's just human.

He is not an ally of justice, but neither is he an abettor of villainy. He is simply unwaveringly honest to his own desires.

- Sunset With Orihara Izaya.

This is why Izaya could be considered both an anti-hero AND anti-villain, especially in the novels, which is something I love about him.

Also, I really dislike when people say he "tried to convince a girl to commit suicide", because while he may have been in the ‘wrong’ either way(considering the things he said was kind of cruel), that accusation isn't true, and the event with Ryo wasn't even in the original novels, but that aside, with Manami and the other girls (who were the last people he decided he would do the suicide meetup with, which means there were no more after that.) the novels clearly said:

Meeting with people who wanted to kill themselves—he’d already done it over twenty times. During these meetings, Izaya noticed that many of them didn’t have much in common. The attitude people had towards death varied widely, with some people maintaining a smile at all times. There were even some who clearly wanted to die, but still recorded TV shows before they went out. But—none of the people Izaya met had ever really committed suicide in the end. This made him feel rather ‘disappointed’.

- Durarara!! LN 1 And why did he feel ‘disappointed’? It's not in his character to be purely sadistic and just want to see people die for no reason. He wanted answers, but in actuality he also couldn't stand that they were making fun of death. They say they want to die, but in reality, none of them ever went through with it, because he destroyed their resolve, he not only scared them out of it, but in fact traumatized them, partially by projecting his own fears onto them.

What were they thinking when they decided to die? Was there really no other way? Or perhaps, who did they want to die for? When people decided to die, just what kind of deep despair did they have in their hearts? Orihara Izaya loved humans more than anything else, and thus wanted rather badly to know the answers. But, he hadn’t met up with them because he wanted to talk them out of committing suicide. And the reason those people who met up with Izaya never committed suicide wasn’t because they never had the intention to die in the first place and had come just for fun, nor was it because they’d backed out. Izaya’s true nature, was slowly revealing itself from its easygoing guise.

After listening to their reasons for suicide, Izaya finally raised his voice and asked a different question breezily. “So, what’re you going to do after you die?” On hearing the sudden question, the two women froze, and then gazed at Izaya dumbly. “Uh…you mean like after going to heaven?” She’s already decided to kill herself and yet still wants to go to heaven. How bold can she get? But of course, it’s things like this that make humans all the more interesting. “Does Nakura-san believe in the afterlife?” the other woman asked Izaya. Nakura was the fake alias Izaya had randomly come up with for himself.

Izaya smiled and shook his head at the question and asked them instead, “Then do you two believe in the afterlife?” “I do. But instead of an after-world, I think people become wandering ghosts in this world…” “I don’t. Death is an expanse of nothingness, just a piece of darkness…but that’s much better than this.” On hearing their answers, Izaya made a huge mental ‘X’. Aw, how disappointing. This is really disappointing. A total waste of time. They’re only junior high standard. The atheists last time were much more interesting. These two only care about themselves. Izaya then concluded that the two women weren’t serious about death. Or perhaps, they were envisioning death in their own ways. He narrowed his eyes and smiled mockingly. “That’s not good. How can people who want to die think about life after death?” “Eh…?” The two of them were completely baffled, as though they were looking at something completely illogical. Izaya continued. “Thinking about the afterlife is a right reserved for only the living. But, if this conclusion something you thought about endlessly, and considered thoroughly, then I have nothing to say. But, being forced into the abyss of despair—like getting your life savings scammed by some Lombard…people who have been forced into their hopeless situations by external factors—only then do they have this right.” Izaya went on smiling and said lightly, “But for you, you gave yourselves these problems right? You’ve already decided to walk the path of hopelessness and you still place your hopes on an afterlife. I don’t think that’s a good thing to do.”" - Durarara!! LN 1 Also, in the anime, it almost seemed like the blood splatter on the pavement was hinting that Izaya had, in fact, coerced somebody to commit suicide or let somebody die, but the novels say he didn’t, so that would be going against the truth. The novels are the source I'm going by.

"“What? What do you mean I’ve gone too far? I don’t get it.” (-Izaya) “That’s because…” “You—” The women were interrupted by Izaya’s hardened response. “Didn’t you want to die? So what does it matter what I tell you? Even if you were lied to or scolded…you’ll be disappearing in a while anyway. So if you’re anguished because I lied to you, then why don’t you just bite your tongue off? Did you know by biting your tongue off to commit suicide, you won’t die because of blood loss, but because of a momentary shock that causes the remaining part of your tongue to compress the trachea and thus results in suffocation. That way, all the things you find unpleasant will be gone. You wouldn’t exist anymore. It’s that simple, and you say I’ve gone too far. I think you’ve gone too far.” “I understand that! But…” “You don’t understand at all.” This time, Izaya was talking to the woman who had said ‘death was an expanse of nothingness’, and the tone he spoke in was even more forceful. —With that smile on his face. “You’re the one that doesn’t understand. You don’t understand at all. You just said death was just a big piece of nothing, right? But, that’s not true at all. I guess you wanted to say, that you wouldn’t have any worries any more. But death is actually just disappearing. Your troubles won’t disappear, just your existence.” The women did not respond. They were transfixed by Izaya’s smile. Izaya’s smile was getting more and more hideous, and it seemed to the two who were listening to him that it was hardly human. “A situation where nothing’s there can’t be called ‘nothing’. And it’s not the opposite of ‘something’ either. The nothing you speak of is where there really is nothing but eternal darkness. But, this notion is based on the ‘existence of the darkness’, so how can it be nothing? If you want to be rid of your sorrows by dying, then you need the ‘knowledge that you’ve escaped your troubles’. Isn’t that something? So like I said, you don’t even know what you’re thinking, and you don’t even know that you don’t know a thing, so you definitely won’t be able to envision something like that. Your ways of thinking aren’t different from most people. Opinions at this level are something even elementary school students who don’t believe in life after death can understand, fear and worry about right?” In reality, these two women both knew Izaya’s theory was full of loopholes, and there was plenty of room for a rebuttal. But they thought, even if they retorted, could they communicate with the person before them with just mere words?— Such thoughts didn’t arise from doubt, but fear.

“But…this…isn’t this just what you think?” The woman mustered all her courage to force out those words, which faltered easily as she saw Izaya’s smile.

“True. I have no idea about that. The fact that I don’t believe in the afterlife, is something I just decided for myself. But, it would be good if there was one—I can only assume though.”

Ha Ha. Izaya let out two syllables of a frigid, dry laugh, and went on in a breezy voice.

“But it’s different for you. You’re doubtful about the afterlife, but you still want to die. Don’t tell me your religion teaches you to commit suicide, and even encourages to ‘kill yourself because you can’t find a job or because you’re having relationship problems’? If it was like that, then I have nothing to say. I would even think that you’re amazing—but if not, then just shut up.”

Finally, as if he wanted them to agree, he cocked his head slightly and slowly revealed his conclusion: “If you’re just a casual believer of the afterlife, don’t go around discussing it, OK? It’s an insult to the afterlife. It’s an even bigger insult to people who don’t want to die, but are forced into it by their circumstances.”

- Durarara!! LN 1

That last line is one reason I love Izaya, and it's not something one would hear somebody who simply wanted the person he/she/they were talking to to commit suicide say. He's so complex, and he is neither good nor evil. There’s very often hidden meanings behind Izaya’s words that do perhaps make him questionable, but also relatively human. That showed just how much he values human life. That's why he's such a great character; even if he isn’t really that great of a person, he still has his own small set of morals that make him very interesting, and most definitely not two-dimensional, though far more so in the light novels.

#izaya #Izaya Orihara #orihara izaya #drrr!!#Drrr #Durarara!!#izaya analysis #character analysis

327 notes · View notes

writingatthecrossroads · 8 years

Text

Teaching Methods

(Methods Section 2)

Across the contexts I’ve described in the past three post I work to illuminate the wealth of opportunity well-developed writing skills can afford a diverse individual. I demonstrate the value of writing by teaching experimentation, advanced critical thinking about the relationship between the disciplines and society at large, evaluation of texts, the translation of analysis into writing, awareness of written genres and, finally, how to effectively apply genres in different contexts and disciplines to achieve the author’s desired effect. To teach these writing skills I employ research-based pedagogies that are built upon Genette’s (1981; 1997) theory of transtextuality, Vygotsky’s (1978) concept of zones of proximal development, and the student-centered, dialogic pedagogy that is advocated by Freire (1970) and Bakhin (2004). In this post, I will describe the theoretical foundations of my teaching strategies, how those theories manifest in practice and how those practices shifted from context to context.

The Collective Unconscious and Genre

Half the work I do with students is teaching them to decode genres so they can write for specific contexts and audiences. I agree with Bruffee when he argues “traditional classroom learning” has rendered diverse students “unprepared (24)” to tackle advanced academic writing “in the first place” because traditional approaches focus on covering up student differences instead of providing a means to effectively communicate their uniqueness to diverse groups of people. One difference that is covered up during instruction are the varied levels of genre awareness students bring to the classroom and how that awareness is informed on an individual level by students’ cultural backgrounds. Among compositionists, I partially agree with Friedman (1993; cited by Devitt,2004 ) when she argues against explicitly teaching genre because the endeavor could fall into rote mechanical practices and would fail to address the totally of genres simply because it is impossible for an individual teacher to understand and convey every aspect of all genres. However, I also partially agree with Devitt who, in response to Freedman and others, who argues ignoring students’ genre use and failing to describe it makes genres a part of the hidden curriculum (Devitt citing Christie, 1985). Devitt concludes, “If we teach a genre explicitly, we will inevitably teach it incompletely, but students will understand more about it than they would have if we had taught them nothing about it at all”(p.341).

In this research and my teaching, I built upon these two seemingly conflicting perspectives by coming to the conclusion that as a teacher I do not have to completely teach genres because students already have a great deal of genre knowledge, whether consciously or subconsciously. The trick is to bring genre knowledge to the forefront of students’ minds and to get them to meta-cognitively think about the knowledge they already possess in regards genres. This realization addresses issues of impossibility and the dangers of rote practice because it opens space for students to access their own funds of knowledge (Moll, 1992) and gives more possibilities for students to add to their funds of knowledge through collaborative learning that works within students’ zone of proximal development (Vygotsky, 1978).

I take a layered approach to understanding genre and how culture influences they way they are perceived. First, I strive to transcend the cultural, the sexual and the racial by tapping into our most basic human understanding of genre. The most primal genres, like the lyric poem, the argument, the epic journey are a part of humanity’s collective unconscious as defined by Carl Jung. The genres and the archetypes they contain form the base upon which our individual and culture derived understandings of genre build upon, which is why genre knowledge is mostly intuitive, unconscious and extremely difficult to teach. Thus instead of starting with a genre and trying to transmute my understanding of genre to students’ minds, I use the Socratic method to get students to articulate and compile as many aspects of a genre as we can in a group setting.

After those understandings are articulated, then I invite students to share their cultural and experience-based perspectives on a genre so we can understand how genres change and act across contexts and cultures. I encourage students to compare those understandings with their classroom colleagues. Sometimes students come to different understandings and decide to stick with their own. More often than not, they integrate their colleagues' understandings if those ideas dovetail with their own. Once the group has reached some modicum of consensus on what constitutes a genre, we then discuss how society’s expectations dictate how the writing that is embedded in a particular genre will “act” when it is released to an audience. Discussing how a genre acts “in the wild (Soliday, 2011)” helps students have the foresight to preemptively modify their language or structure to meet the needs of audience expectation while getting their messages across.

Trans-textualism and Critical Thinking

Once students feel comfortable with framing their messages in a particular genre I use a transtextual pedagogic approach that encourages students to think critically about their text, the texts they are using as resources, and how the texts on their topic interacts in relationships that ultimately shape how the subject at hand is perceived in academia and society at large. According to Gérard Genette transtextuality is defined as “textual transcendence of the text” or ”all that sets the text in a relationship, whether obvious or concealed, with other texts” (1981; 1997). In Genette’s typography of writing those relationships can be:

1. Intertextual, the simultaneous presence of more than one text within a text.

2. Paratextual, the relationship between the text its surrounding text.

3. Metatextual, the criticism of the ideas in one text that is embedded in another text.

4. Architextual, the generic positioning of a text as indicated by the title. For the purposes of this project, I build on Genette’s definition of architextuality by including the generic positioning of a text as indicated by the genre markers embedded within the text.

5. Hypertextual, which is the extension of a text by a following text or, in the context information technology, text that leads a reader to another text.

Students and I uncover the relationships texts have with one another through in class or one one one discussions. During those discussions, the students and I make webs of connections between ideas and the rhetoric surrounding those ideas across disciplines. Though I never explicitly define Genette’s topography for students (I always fear talking about it will come across as discipline-specific mumbo-jumbo to students), in general, students are usually able to pick up on how texts influence other texts and how those texts influence the writing they create.

For example, when the McNair scholars initially approach the GRE analytic writing task they view it as just a standardized test with an arbitrary prompt that doesn’t mean anything in real life. Throughout the course of my class, I work with students to see how the textual problems in the GRE (and other standardized tests) are informed by other text. Revealing that information unveils the real writing task students face- synthesizing the rhetoric about an issue based on all those texts to develop their own arguments about the issue at hand in their writing. Once they gain that understanding they are able to see the GRE writing prompt is not just an exercise that tests how well a student does at taking tests. Gradually the students come to realize the skill it takes to synthesize multiple texts to develop a novel argument during the GRE writing section is a skill they will use every day in graduate school.

Take this Issue task prompt for example:

A nation should require all of its students to study the same national curriculum until they enter college.

Write a response in which you discuss the extent to which you agree or disagree with the recommendation and explain your reasoning for the position you take. In developing and supporting your position, describe specific circumstances in which adopting the recommendation would or would not be advantageous and explain how these examples shape your position.

This prompt, like the others in the GRE Issue Topic Pool, comes off a little opaque for the uninitiated student. It is easy for a student who doesn’t have insider knowledge about how writing prompts are crafted to fall into the trap of taking an either/or approach (either it is good for all students to study the same curriculum or not) when drafting their response. At best, a student who takes a simple dualistic approach to GRE prompts in the form of the standard five paragraph essay will score a 4.

I have students take a step back from simply diving into the prompt to avoid falling into the dichotomy trap. I push students to question every aspect of the prompt so they can come to understand who wrote the prompt and why they would write it. In class, I invite students to imagine what type of person would create this small piece of text. They’re always shocked to find out these types of writing prompts are not computer generated or written by some distant, unimaginable “testing experts.” Verbal portions of writing tests are typically written and scored by writing nerds like yours truly. Knowing what kinds of people write the test makes it easier for students to imagine what kind of mindset manifested the prompt.

Once students begin to understand the ghost in the machine of the test, I ask students what they think “the word nerd friends in the parallel universe of standardized testing” are trying to get at with this prompt. I ask them if there is anything in history, literature or current events that could inform the creation of this prompt. Once we’ve had an extensive discussion, I show them other texts that have a clear relationship to the prompt we’re examining using digital resources. In the case of this prompt, I usually show students the Common Core Curriculum, the PISA exam that sparked the creation of the Common Core, information on No Child Left Behind, background information on the people who created the Common Core, debates in the news about the curriculum and instances in history where a national curriculum was instituted for better or for worse (Nazi Germany anyone?). We talk about the relationships and the dialogues between those texts and how this testing prompt is prompting test takers to engage in the dialogues surrounding national curriculum.

By the end of this exercise, students come to realize the prompt is not pulled from outer space. and the word nerds are not trying to stump them. The people who have drafted these prompts write them with the expectation that test takers read the newspaper every once in a while to get informed about the issues happening in the world around them. Moreover, they expect test takers to have ideas of their own that they are able to expound upon. The underlying assumption is individuals who aspire to attend graduate school are not critical thinkers and responders. In short, every prompt on the GRE writing portion is a gimmie because they are based on widely available texts. Once students get that understanding, it is easier for them to investigate, compile and critically analyze texts that relate to the topics on the GRE. Moreover, once students master this skill, it is easier for them to replicate the strategy of understanding the perspective of individuals who draft writing prompts (their professors) and respond to those prompts in a sophisticated manner for their other classes.

The resulting outcome from the transtextual pedagogies I have used in my teaching is students come away with intertextual and metatextual understanding of texts across genres and context. Students develop sophistication of written message and their ego strength, two variables Emig (1971) identified that affect the length and nature of students’ writing process, as they relate to drafting a sophisticated argument that takes into consideration all of the rhetorical information students have knowledge of on a particular subject. Once students can define for themselves how texts are in conversation with each other, it makes it easier for them to enter those conversations.

“Teaching” Genre and Style Experimentation

To transform Genette’s expanded theory of transtextualism into a viable pedagogy, I balanced that theory with the experimental grammar pedagogy that is advocated by Bakhin (2004). Bakhtin’s (2004) research on grammar focused dialogic pedagogy emphasizes style and device development as a way of moving past focusing on grammar mechanics and puts emphasis on developing sophisticated messages that are grammatically correct. Bakhtin begins his argument with the following:

“One cannot study grammatical forms without constantly considering their stylistic significance. When grammar is isolated from semantics and stylistic aspects of speech, it inevitably turns into scholasticism.”

Bakhtin goes on to argue Russian teachers, and, in turn, their students, are typically trained in the most cursory way on the interplay between grammar and stylistics. After asserting grammatical forms must be thought of in terms of their “expressive potential (p. 13)”, not simply mechanics, Bakhtin claims language teachers give generalized instructions like, for example, limiting the repetition of the word “that (p.14)” and to select forms that sound the best in the sentence. Bakhtin concludes, “such answers are inadequate, and, furthermore, essentially incorrect” (p.15). Bakhtin claims the outcome of this instruction is as students progress through schooling, their lively personalized style shifts to an impersonalized, clichéd, “colorless (p.23)” bookish style that mimics what they perceive to be academic writing. This shift is a crystallization of the student fear that any sense of style will corrupt their work. Students write for the eyes, not intonation and gesture, yet their put upon erudition, unfortunately, is the sign of a “half-educated writer (p.24),” not of a writer with a sophisticated message.

Instead, Bakhtin proposes a dialogic pedagogy in which students experiment with reconstructing sentences from model texts as a group. During this process, students manipulate the sentences in multiple ways so they can see how the meaning and style of a sentence shifts with each sentence’s iteration and to make clear grammatical changes can be more than a “simple mechanical process.” After this type of experimentation, students are encouraged to incorporate this practice into their writing under the guidance of an instructor.

Morrell (2004) asserts the type of pedagogy Bakhtin advocates can be a vehicle of engagement for “teachers, as transformative intellectuals” (p.90) when working with diverse students. I concur with Morrell, which is why I’ve made student experimentation in writing a focal point of my teaching. Instead of using model texts as Bakhtin advocates, students used drafts of their own text to experiment on. During the editing phase of student writing, I had students read their texts aloud so they could hear the voice they were projecting in their writing. Once students could hear what they were projecting, students edited their work and experimented with sentences based on what sounded most effective to them while integrating their voices.

What helped this experimental process was the contexts that I worked in were low stakes, meaning students received credit but they were not evaluated through grading. Students evaluated their own performance based on the completion of their projects, the goals they had for their own writing and whether they felt their messages were adequately conveyed to their respective authentic audiences. Self-evaluation opened up space for students to experiment more with their writing because they were not writing to meet the requirements of their professor (me). They were writing for their own growth. My only requirement was students ensured their writing clearly articulated what they wanted to convey and that it be turned in on time.

Students ended up presenting me with ideas of things they wanted to do with their writing and rhetoric. Together we would discuss the myriad of options they could use to meet their goals. Some of those approaches were generated by me but the bulk of the approaches were defined by what the students wanted to see in their work and their ideas on how to make those rhetorical moves happen. For the most part, I highlighted the well-executed parts of the text that project their voice and messages with strength and effectiveness in my feedback in addition to pointing out problematic portions of the text. Students would then take their pieces and “try out” some of the moves they developed themselves, some moves I suggested and moves we hashed out together. Finally, students selected the rhetorical moves they thought worked best for their projects and I would evaluate the work, again, solely based on message clarity and whether it was turned in on time.

Morell (2004) argues that the type of pedagogy Bakhtin advocates requires a different type of assessment than what we are used to. However, Morell does not provide a definitive way to go about conducting that assessment. In building on Morell’s assertion, I believe a dialogic pedagogy demands the evaluation of the writing resulting from that pedagogy requires dialog as well. Aside from evaluating the students as their teacher, for the purposes of this research, I evaluated student writing development by measuring their level of engagement with the process (Did they make appointments with me? Did they complete the writing tasks we agreed to? Did they ask me or their peers writing questions?), whether their writing behaviors changed during that process, whether they developed more skill in describing how their writing process went. I also assessed the students based on their own satisfaction with the process and their satisfaction levels with their finished products. As you can guess, I spent a lot of one on one time working with students throughout and after their writing process to perform these assessments. That said, the conversations I had with students one on one influenced group discussions because the engaged students brought their new knowledge to the group. The group, in turn, built more knowledge from the group discussions, so even students who were not highly engaged gained more writing skill by interacting with the students who were more committed.

Freire’s Dialogic Classroom

It is clear in the teaching practices I described above the dialogic classroom strategies that are advocated by Freire (1970) are interwoven into every teaching strategy I use. Although I advocate explicit writing instruction, the explicit ideas that are discussed in class arise from student knowledge and experience. I play the part of group discussion facilitator and a more experienced colleague. I may be viewed as an “expert” by students, but I remind them they are experts in their own knowledge as well. I am there to “fill in the gaps” so to speak of some of the blind spots they may have about writing. They are also there to point out my blind spots and tell me when I am missing something so we can investigate the answers together. Taking a democratic approach where all the participants (including my teaching colleagues) contribute knowledge and hold one another accountable in a respectful manner gives rise to a safe space that is not only accepting of students diverse backgrounds but is dynamic in that it integrates students’ cultural knowledge and lived experiences into the task at hand- boosting students linguistic dexterity.

The teaching practices that result from the integration of these theories:

1. Exposes students to diverse types of texts, literary practices, rhetorics and registers through reading & writing to promote student linguistic dexterity.

2. Encourages students to make comparisons between genres.

3. Teaches students how to critically examine texts.

4. Provides the space for students to practice writing varied genres and literary devices.

5. Teaches students to metacognitively transfer the skills learned from one genre to another to improve writing skills.

6. Empowers students with methods they can use to teach themselves new writing skills long after instruction has ceased.

But Wait, There’s More...! Context Specific Teaching Strategies

The 10 Step Method for Building Vocabulary

Having the skill to building a high-level vocabulary was of vital importance to the McNair scholars. They needed that skill to best the GRE and to take with them to graduate school where they’d have to learn sophisticated, discipline-specific language. Before I got the instructor position I had developed a vocabulary strategy to help diverse students because the students I previously worked with consistently reported vocabulary development as their number one writing challenge in postsecondary school.

In composition studies, it has been well documented that entering the various academic disciplines requires the acquisition of discipline-specific registers or vocabulary. Blumner (1990) stresses the crucial role discipline-specific language plays in a scholar’s academic success. He asserts gaining mastery over the peculiarities of a discipline’s register is a prerequisite for “acceptance into the academic community (p.35). Bean (2001) and Goshert (2011) suggest dictionary and context review strategies (Bean, p.138. Goshert, p. 63) are adequate approaches students can utilize to meet this prerequisite.Yet these approaches are not in line with the discoveries researchers in cognitive psychology and linguistics have uncovered over the past twenty years about the nature of vocabulary acquisition in native speakers and second language learners. Linguists Herman and Nagy (1987) assert dictionaries provide insufficient background information on complex words. Studies in both fields indicate in order to master new terms, vocabulary must be presented numerous times to students while embedded within contexts to create webs of meaning and understanding (Webb, 2007; Pressley, Levin and McDaniel, 1987; Jenkins, Stein and Wysock, 1984). Blumner echoes these linguists and cognitive scientists when he argues students need multiple opportunities to try out different registers without judgment. He goes on to suggest writing centers a place to try on different discourses, which led me to focus on crafting a fast way to teach students how to teach themselves new vocabulary.

When I created the 10 Step Strategy, I wanted to combine vocabulary building with developing research skills while tapping into literacies outside of textual literacies. I transferred techniques I learned from literary criticism and poetry analysis to the academic context and condensed those methods into ten quick steps. To integrate a research component within the strategy, I made steps 1,2, 3, 5, and 6 research based so students would have to practice digging into information on the internet and in libraries to create their own word contexts, not just have contexts handed to them by the teacher.

Step 1,word deconstruction, also provides students with the opportunity to tap into their prior knowledge and “chunk (Bransford, Brown and Cocking, 2000, p.32)” that information into their word root schema if they know a ranges of roots, prefixes, and suffixes as I did when I first encountered the word panopticon. In general, I made the assumption students would have limited knowledge of word roots and would have to look up the roots of some words. I stress “some” here because when I did three workshops with diverse students in 2012 and 2013 to test the pedagogies in this dissertation, some students knew the root of “opti” and others knew “pan.” When students pooled their knowledge, they got really close at guessing the definition without me saying a thing. In this research, I found students can pool their knowledge of roots more often if they have the opportunity to regularly deconstruct words in groups.

Steps 4 and 9 rely on visual literacy to help students who learn through images rather than words while step 7 taps into students’ orality. Typically, teaching steps one through nine strategy takes 7-10 minutes. What usually makes this pedagogy a longer lesson is drawing word maps based on the connections students make in relation to the word. In addition to connecting instances of the word’s usage in real life through maps, I have students extend their word maps into word families that integrate other words that have the same roots, prefixes, and suffixes as the word they are trying to learn. In every run of teaching this strategy, word maps always sparked lively critical discussions among students because the maps connect the word’s academic definition to phenomenon outside of the academy. Students reported this strategy is extremely helpful overall when they struggle to comprehend vocabulary from their disciplines because when the words are extracted from a wall of words and into maps that are coupled with pictures, the student encodes the target word and other words into their long-term memory with chunking.

Writing in Practice, Not Just Discussion

Another strategy I swear by is making students write in class. Yes, I make them. I don’t invite them to write like I do with other exercises. Writing in class is required because students have the tendency to do their writing at the last minute if they do it at all. For some students, my class has no teeth because I can’t punish their lack of work through grades. Instead of punishing them by giving them an F, I make them perform under my watchful eye. It’s easy to intellectualize writing in classroom discussion especially for students who talk a good game. It’s harder to put what we’ve intellectualized into practice in the moment.

To mitigate the issues all talk and no action students experience, I dedicated in-class writing time throughout the quarter. After that writing period, students talk about their writing process and review each other’s writing at the end of class. Discussing a piece after writing puts students in the hot seat. It forces the students who have been in avoidance about their work to face their shortcomings. It also gives all the students the opportunity to figure out what they’re doing right so they can replicate those strategies. Finally, they get knowledge about what their classmates are doing well so they can build on their successful practices. Together we go through the cycle of writing so we can see we all have the same “writer woes” of being burnt out on our topic, hitting writing walls, untangling sentences/ideas and, finally, feeling the exuberance of completing a solid draft.

During classroom writing time, I also write. Working in front of students models what real, planned, incremental writing looks like. Modeling incremental writing demonstrates the difference in quality between planned writing in a group context and writing a draft all alone at 5 am the morning the paper is due. Working through the motions of scheduled incremental writing teaches students self-discipline in writing and helps them break bad habits.

While there are other strategies I use with students depending on the circumstances, the strategies I describe above are the bulk of the work I did with the students who participated in Aggie Voices, McNair Scholars, and the Diversity Forum. In the following posts, I will describe the results of my investigations in those contexts and conclude with an analysis of how student voice shifts based on student trust, comfort within a context and student self-confidence in their own discipline specific knowledge.

0 notes