#it is adam ruzek related though

[torreshalstead]

20 hours

First fic for One Chicago Appreciation Week 2022 and Burzek Appreciation Week 2022! AO3 link

Prompts - Chills and ‘Why won’t you let me in? What are you afraid of?’

Summary - Those 20 hours in solitary had affected Adam more than he cared to let on and he was hiding it from everyone. But he works in an elite unit so people are bound to notice.

Notes - I played around with the timelines a bit but it’s set after the Season 2 episode ‘Prison Ball’ but includes elements of Season 5 as Hailey is present

Adam woke with a start. Breathing heavily, he ran his hands over his face in an attempt to wipe the sweat away, cool the chills and calm himself down. It had been 5 days since those 20 hours and he hadn’t slept through the night once. He looked to his right and breathed a sigh of relief to see Kim still sleeping soundly, curled on her side. At least he hadn’t woken her up he thought as he looked over at the clock. 3:38am. The earliest he could get into the bullpen without arising suspicion was 6, any earlier and people would start asking questions and this was not something he wanted to talk about.

Getting out of bed quietly so as not to wake his sleeping girlfriend, he walked into the kitchen. Coffee, that would ensure he stayed awake for the rest of the day and no one would know any different. Whilst waiting for the coffee machine to finish, he looked around. His once manly bachelor pad now bore signs of someone in a happy relationship. There were pictures on the fridge, cushions on the sofa, that Adam had no idea how they got there, and two glasses with the dregs of last night’s wine on the coffee table. Adam smiled to himself, even with everything going on in his head right now he still had her. She was the love of his life, for that he was sure and he knew he had to get over this, for her sake if not for his own.

-------

Dragging himself into the precinct at 6am was not what he had planned today yet here he was. He went straight into the break room to make another cup of coffee, it was going to be a long day. His phone chimed shortly after he returned to his desk – it was a picture of the note he had left Kim on her mug and a message saying I love you too. A small grin crept across his face.

‘What’s got you smiling like a fool’ came Kevin’s voice. Adam had been so preoccupied that he hadn’t even noticed him coming up the stairs.

‘Nothing’ Adam said.

‘Yeah nothing to rhyme with Burgess’ Kevin smirked.

If there was one person who understood the relationship he had with Kim, it was Kevin. The two hadn’t necessarily gotten off to the best start in relation to her but now Adam understood that he was only looking out for her, and he appreciated someone else having her back.

-------

By the time lunch came around, Adam was on his fourth cup of coffee and people were starting to notice his irritable behaviour. He had snapped at Jay when Jay asked what was wrong. Had barked orders at Hailey even though she outranked him. Al had called him out for zoning out during their meeting and Voight, well Voight could tell something was up.

‘Ruzek’, the gruff voice of their Sergeant said, ‘my office, now’. Adam groaned internally, getting called to the Boss’s office was never good news and he knew after the way he was behaving today, it definitely wasn’t.

‘Sarge’ he said when he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

‘You going to tell me what’s going on or do I have to drag Burgess up here and hear it from her’. Oh, great Adam thought, he thinks it’s my relationship that’s getting in the way of the job, whereas the relationship was the only thing keeping him afloat right now.

‘It’s nothing Sarge, and it’s got nothing to do with Kim, she’s great, I mean we’re fine. I just…’, he took a breath, ‘haven’t been sleeping great, think I just need a new pillow is all’ he said with a chuckle. Voight didn’t look convinced.

‘If that’s all, close the door on your way out’.

‘That’s all Sarge, I’m good’. And with that, he left Voight’s office and headed straight to the locker room. He sat down on the bench and put his head in his hands, I’ve got to get over this he thought. If not I’m out of intelligence and that can’t happen. Just as he was trying to pull himself together, he heard a voice.

‘Adam, hey, what’s up?’ He looked up to see Kim walk in, she looked concerned. ‘You didn’t text back this morning, I just wanted to check you’re alright. You’ve been gone every morning this week before I wake up’.

Adam rubbed his face, ‘I’m all good darlin’’ he said with his signature grin, ‘just had paperwork to catch up on’. And with that, he got up, quickly pecked her on the cheek and headed back to the bullpen, leaving a very confused and worried Kim in his wake.

-------

Adam was the last to leave the bullpen that evening and once he thought he was alone he headed back into the locker room. He knew Kim had gone home earlier; she had text him to say she was going to cook if he was home before 7. It was now 9 and he had shot her a message back to say the team had to stay late. In reality, Voight had a meeting in the Ivory tower at 5 and the rest of the team apart from him and Jay had left before 6. Jay had headed out a little while ago and he had just been staring at the screen until he thought he was alone. He knew Kim would probably be in bed by the time he got home which meant he could hopefully avoid the conversation he knew was coming.

When he got to the locker room however he saw that he wasn’t alone. Jay was sat on the bench waiting for him.

‘Ruze, talk to me man’.

‘It’s nothing Jay really, I’ve just not been sleeping, need a new pillow, you know the story’. He tried to play it off but he could see Jay wasn’t believing him.

‘That’s not it though is it’, Jay said in a slow calm voice. ‘You’ve been like this ever since that UC case. The one in the prison’.

Adam bristled, he wanted to say something, anything to deflect what Jay was saying but he couldn’t get the words out.

‘Going into the hole must have been hell man, I’ve heard the stories. It’s normal that it would have affected you. Hell, you’d be crazy if you didn’t get torn up over what you saw.’

Adam sat down facing his locker, not wanting to see Jay’s face.

‘I’ve seen the look in your eyes before’, Jay took a deep breath, ‘I’ve had that look in my eyes too. When every time you close them your back somewhere that broke you. It’s normal but you’ve got to get some help man. Have you told anyone the real reason you’re not sleeping?’ Adam shook his head. ‘Not even Burgess?’.

Adam scoffed. ‘What do I tell her? Hey Kim, you know your big strong cop boyfriend who’s not afraid of bullets. Well he got locked in a room for 20 hours and went almost crazy and now he can’t sleep because he keeps having nightmares.’

Jay looked at him slowly, ‘yes’ he said simply. ‘Tell her and she’ll be there for you. Hell that girl is crazy about you and heaven knows why’. He chuckled quietly. ‘You’ve got PTSD Adam, at least on some level’ he said as Adam looked at him and tried to interrupt. ‘20 hours locked in a room with no windows, hearing sounds of other prisoners going crazy, not knowing when you were going to get out. That’s a lot for anyone to take. Even a big strong cop’. He said with a smile. ‘I’ve known men bigger and stronger than you, crack under a lot less’.

‘But that’s different’ Adam said.

‘Why, because it was war. Men are men Adam, in prison, on the streets or on the battlefield. It doesn’t mean what we see or hear doesn’t affect us. You should talk to someone. When I had all that stuff with Morgan, therapy got me through it. Well therapy and Upton.’

Adam looked up at him with a curious expression.

‘Yeah, she basically told me if I didn’t go to therapy and start dealing with it, she was going to ask for another partner’.

‘Damn, for someone so small, she’s feisty’. Smirked Adam, Jay nodded and laughed.

‘She is, but it took that for me to realise that me not dealing with it wasn’t just effecting me. It was having an impact on those around me, those I care about.’

‘But therapy’ Adam said, ‘talking to someone about my feelings and crap, not sure that’s for me.’

‘I didn’t think it was for me either, thought I’d be weak if I went to see someone but it helped. It really did. But start with talking to Kim, she knows somethings up. We all do. And she might surprise you.’

With that Jay patted him on the shoulder and headed out leaving Adam with a lot to think about.

-------

Adam took a breath before opening the door to his apartment. She loved him, he thought to himself, she loved him.

As he walked in, Kim turned her head to see him from where she was sat on the couch. ‘You’re home late’, she said. It wasn’t said in an accusatory tone, it was laced with something else, worry, perhaps.

Adam took of his jacket and draped it over a chair before making his way to sit next to her.

‘Talk to me Adam’, Kim said softly as she took his hands in hers. ‘Why can’t you let me in? What are you so afraid of?’.

This was it thought Adam, this is the moment I might lose her. And with that he started talking. Once he had opened the flood gates, it didn’t seem like he’d ever stop.

He told her how he hadn’t been sleeping because every night it felt like he was lying on that hard slab and all he could hear was the shouts coming from the neighbouring cells. He told her how he felt like he’d been in that room for days and when it turned out it was only 20 hours he was ashamed of how he felt. He told her when Kevin seemed fine straight afterwards that he must be weak for acting the way he was. He told her that he didn’t want her to think less of him because he was having nightmares so he made sure she fell asleep before he even dared to close his eyes. He told her how Jay had cornered him this evening and told him to talk to her and that maybe he should get some therapy. He told her how he had scoffed at the idea because good cops don’t need therapy. He told her how the reason he hadn’t told her any of this was because he was scared. He was scared she would look at him with pity, scared that she would think he was weak, scared that she’d leave him.

All through this, Kim watched him whilst he talked, holding his hands but never interrupting. She knew he had to get it all out and when it seemed like he had finished, she gently squeezed his hand and he looked at her.

But it wasn’t a look of pity that Adam saw, it was a look of love, a look of pride.

‘It took a lot to tell me all that Adam’, Kim smiled, ‘I always thought you were the strongest man I’d ever met’. Adam heard the past tense and looked away. Kim squeezed his hand again and he looked back. ‘But now I realise that you’re stronger than I ever thought and I love you more because of it.’

Adam had tears in his eyes and let out a weak laugh.

‘And we will get through this together, and if you want to go to talk to someone then…’. Adam interrupted her, ‘I do’ he said. ‘I think it’ll help’. She smiled, ‘then I will drive you to the appointments and wait until you’re finished. Then we can come home together, and talk about it, or not if that’s what you want, but we will do it together.’

Adam’s smile became even larger as he wrapped her into a hug and gently squeezed. How did I get to be so lucky he thought as he held the woman of his dreams and realised that tonight, he might actually get to sleep through the night, for the first time since that hideous day.

#one Chicago appreciation week #ocaw22 #Burzek appreciation week #burzekaw22 #Burzek #Chicago pd #one Chicago #one Chicago week #onechicagoweek #dailyburzek

[elliegoestodownton]

Ho postato 1.492 volte nel 2022

Sono 194 post in più del 2021!

339 post creati (23%)

1.153 post rebloggati (77%)

Blog che ho rebloggato di più:

@gregorygerwitz

@fighterkimburgess

@madeline-kahn

@ballroompink

@somosinevitables

Ho taggato 1.440 dei miei post nel 2022

Solo 3% dei miei post non aveva tag

#chicago fire - 296 post

#chicago pd - 235 post

#trudy platt - 155 post

#randy mouch mcholland - 121 post

#movies - 111 post

#kim burgess - 102 post

#pretties - 98 post

#adam ruzek - 82 post

#stella kidd - 61 post

#fanfic rec - 60 post

Longest Tag: 120 characters

#not me trying to figure out if some ships would be compatible based on astrology according to very vague info been given

I miei post migliori nel 2022:

#5

Let’s stop for a second and fully appreciate the face that Violet makes the first time she sees Hawkins. Like a kid in front of a yummy snack.

12 note - Postate 20 agosto 2022

#4

Honestly pissed off at Netflix right now as they cancelled The Babysitters Club. 😭😭😭 That show gave me so much joy in two seasons and they did an honestly brilliant job in adapting the books, one of my fave reads while growing up, and making the stories relevant to the present. It was SO GOOD.

And now no more heartwarming stories about the BSC. And mostly how dare they cancel it before Richard and Sharon, my awkward babies, could get married on screen??? Imagine that. I will forever treasure their perfect clumsiness. And the girls’ costumes. I will treasure those too because fashion!

If you haven’t watched it, go catch up with it.

12 note - Postate 12 marzo 2022

#3

Stella greeting Trudy with “Hey Lady!” on the phone. That’s everything I needed for this week.

13 note - Postate 13 ottobre 2022

#2

A few hours to S11 to here’s my wishlist for Fire 🔥🔥🔥

No drama for Stellaride. Just let them be hot and happy.

Ritter to have a real storyline and not just play the BFF on the sidelines. He is a great character, who has grown a lot even in the little time he is afforded to be explored and has great potential to be developed even more. He needs to.

I love Violet, she’s a badass and I would love for them to write her not just as a love interest but as she science nerd kickass woman she is in relation to her career.

Javi to be officially adopted by Cruz and Chloe with no drama. He fits with the family, he’s happy, so don’t come up with the aunt who comes back from the dead to reclaim him!

I expect nothing less than some shenanigans from Mouch and Herrmann, better halves friend version. Let them be their usual lovable and cranky selves and I’ll be happy.

More of Capp and Tony, underrated comedy duo.

Papa Boden. That’s the tweet.

With Kylie keeping him in check.

I love the chaotic trio of youngsters and their friendship. It would be great to see them continue working together on business plans without the Gallo/Violet thing in the middle.

I will sincerely miss Tuesday, my best girl. 💕😭 I hope that if is she is gone narratively as well, they will find a way to honor her sweet furry memory.

I have come to appreciate Seager towards the end of S10 and you know what would be great? To see her budding friendship of sorts with Stella develop a bit rather than her playing the third wheel.

A guest appearance by Pelham, my beloved.

I’m still waiting for a The Real Housewives of 51© (Trudy, Donna and Cindy) wine night because that would be absolutely hilarious, highly gossipy and slightly filthy. But we all know it’s not gonna happen. You read it here first, though.

I’m also still waiting for a Trudy vs Herrmann over Molly’s but I have lost hope there. This would be also hilarious.

I would gladly accept a game night on screen in exchange.

21 note - Postate 21 settembre 2022

Il mio post numero 1 del 2022

Diane and Kurt

Thanks for the ask!

Who said “I love you” first: Not in those exact same words, but canonically it was Kurt. I think he was the one to also utter ILY first later on as Diane probably needed a bit more time and reassurance.

Who would have the other’s picture as their phone background: Kurt even though it took him ages to switch to a smatphone because you know the man. I imagine that if she has a non-work phone, Diane also has a picture there with quite the gallery from their dates and vacays.

Who leaves notes written in fog on the bathroom mirror: Diane would totally leave sweet and ironic stuff on the mirror for her fave cowboy to see. The word cowboy might actually feature in those messages as well.

Who buys the other cheesy gifts: Hands down Diane. But they both have a good track record of cheesy gifts, as we know.

Who initiated the first kiss: Again, canonically Kurt. Not that she minded one bit.

Who kisses the other awake in the morning: I feel Diane peppers his face with kisses in those instances when he is still sleeping.

Who starts tickle fights: Kurt because he loves her laugh.

Who asks who if they can join the other in the shower: I think they might take turns there. Probably Diane does this more often than he does.

Who surprises the other in the middle of the day at work with lunch: Kurt. Because Diane never leaves work 🤣

Who was nervous and shy on the first date: She was definitely the most nervous of the two, trying to babble her way through the date and fill the silence also to avoid hearing her brain and her ancestors telling her that it was a very bad idea.

Who kills/takes out the spiders: Kurt gently takes them out as the good country boy he is. Diane is not a fan.

Who loudly proclaims their love when they’re drunk: Oooh, Diane probably gets tipsy a bit more easily but I feel that Kurt would be the one yelling it from the rooftops when really drunk.

31 note - Postate 27 febbraio 2022

Guarda ora l'Analisi del tuo anno 2022 di Tumblr →

#why is this in italian?!? #tumblr2022 #gpoy #just a reminder that this is a niche unpopular blog #and wouldn't want it any other way #i'm here to destress not to be popular (read it in cheno's voice) #reblogging this in the hope of manifesting a few things #also clear i've got a brand lol

[fighterkimburgess]

I just made myself cry writing something. Oops?

#It's NOT Fearless #I promise Reese you're safe I finished the angst there #it is adam ruzek related though #although was it the angst or the hard seltzer that made me cry #Who knows???

[chefdoeuvre]

Dazed

Kevin Atwater & Adam Ruzek

Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Halstead!Reader (platonic), Kevin Atwater x Halstead!Reader (platonic)

Description: When in doubt call these two dysfunctional best friends.

Words: 380

Requested: yes by anonymous; hiiii! i loved loved loved the adam and kev headcanon! could u do one where she gets drugged at a party and calls them instead of jay cause she's scared?

Warnings: drugs, mentions of drinking, Kevin and Adam being the best.

A/N: My two favorites. I apologize in advance for any grammatical errors.

—

Were you supposed to be at this party currently?

Nope.

Did you sneak out even though Jay had specifically told you no when you asked to go?

Yeah.

So the second you started to feel woozy after drinking the drink one of the hottest guys at school had given you the worrying began.

You had put down the red solo cup in your hand and began pushing your way through the crowd.

Finding an empty spot on the porch you sat down on the steps and pulled out your phone.

As you sat down your vision blurred for a moment before refocusing.

Your brother would kill you if you called him, you knowingly went behind his back to go to this party in the first place.

You scrolled through your contacts before immediately finding the one you were looking for and dialed the number.

"Hello?" Adam's confused voice came out of your phone.

"Adam." You began slurring, fear seeping through your tone.

"Y/N, what's wrong?" Adam's voice became concerned at the way you were speaking.

"Think...drugged." Your train of thought began trailing off as you struggled to form a complete sentence.

On the other end of the line you heard Adam yelling to Kevin before the engine of a car roared to life.

"Y/N, it's Kevin. Where are you?" Kevin asked.

Trying your hardest to not pass out you had told him the address of the party.

"All right, just stay with me we're almost there." Kevin did his best to reassure you.

"I'm scared." You whispered.

"Two minutes, I promise." Kevin said.

Like he had promised Adam pulled up to the party in just under two minutes.

Both of them jumped out of the car and headed toward where you were sitting.

They helped you walk to the car and now the three of you were sitting in silence.

Adam had gotten back into the driver's seat while Kevin decided to take a seat beside you in the back.

"I'm sorry." You apologized, tiredly resting your head against Kevin.

"Don't worry about it, kiddo." Kevin wrapped his arm around your shoulder while you dozed off.

In the rearview mirror, Kevin and Adam shared a knowing look.

They would do anything for you, blood-related or not.

#fanfiction #imagine #request #one shot #one chicago #one chicago imagine #headcanon #one chicago fanfiction #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd headcanon #chicago pd fanfiction #chicago pd #kevin atwater x reader #kevin atwater x halstead!reader #kevin atwater x you #kevin atwater x y/n #kevin atwater #adam ruzek x y/n #adam ruzek x you #adam ruzek x reader #kevin atwater imagine #adam ruzek imagine #adam ruzek fanfiction #kevin atwater fanfiction #adam ruzek #adam ruzek x halstead!reader

[intellizek]

@sgtvoight   - Piece of me -   continued from..

... "Adam...stop. Please. I'm trying to...Fuck, I'm trying to stop this before I hurt you.."

   Adam always shined up whenever Voight showed or was near, and this time was no different. However... Their time alone usually didn’t go down this road. He was expecting those warm, amazing hands of Hank’s, pulling Adam close and touching him. Hank’s charming smiles. He expected Hank’s addictive kisses. Adam needed them, along with the Sergeant’s voice softly speaking to him near his ear...

   None of those things came, though. Instead Hank began telling him how they needed to stop seeing each other the way they were. End things. For what reason?

   Their work relation? The age difference? If it was either one of those, then it was straight up stupid. They hadn’t cared once about that for months. Had someone in their unit found out? Was that the issue? Who the hell cares at this point! They’re a family. Whoever it is, or if it’s all of them, will eventually be OK with it. They might just need some time to let it sink in.

   Adam stood there, at the same spot as he watched Hank pace back and forth. He blinked at the hand that was meant to shut him up and it did for a moment or two. It hurt inside. An achingly squeezing and burning sensation that was nowhere near the wonderful fire that flared up in his entire body when he was alone with Hank otherwise.

   “...What do you think you’re doing now?”

   Maybe it was none of the reasons above, but that the man just simply had grown tired and bored with Adam.

   Ruzek swallowed to steady his voice. His gaze fell to the floor as his hands slid into hiding in his jacket’s pockets. Shaking his head, he glanced off to the side before daring to look back up at Hank.

   “Don’t... lie to me, by giving me some dumb reasons to why we can’t... be us anymore. You don’t give a shit that you’re my Sergeant and that this is work-wise ‘inappropriate’. You don’t care about that. At least not anymore.

                   Are you tired of me?”

#sgtvoight #• piece of me • #• hank voight •

[justmypartner]

Still Breathing: Chapter 1

Summary: AU | When a case goes sideways, Hailey wakes up in the hospital with a revelation that leaves her evaluating her life. While she recovers at Med, she meets Jay, an aloof, yet intriguing patient that catches her by surprise. The two get to know one another as they take on the task of rediscovering what it’s like to truly live, and eventually learn their lives intersect in more ways than one. 

Writer’s Note: Hi!!! I’ve had this idea for a while and it’s taken me quite a bit to finally get started, but I’m super excited about it. This probably won’t be a weekly fic, but I’ll try and post as frequently as possible. I don’t want to give too much away… but it explores something in the Halstead background that has been referenced, but never fully developed so I really tried to dive deep into what it is and how it would affect Jay. It’s been fun (and somewhat emotional) to work through & I really hope you enjoy!! 

Read on AO3 or below

“Order, Arms,” a voice called out, sending Hailey’s hand back down to her side.

She remained in place, frozen as she resumed attention, fighting hard to conceal the joy spilling out of her. It was her graduation day. She was just sworn in, and for the first time ever, deemed an Officer of the Chicago Police Department. She took in the room from under the low brim of her hat, her lips curling up at the corners as the Department Pipes and Drums began to play. She closed her eyes briefly, relishing in the moment, and when she opened, she was suddenly somewhere else entirely. She was no longer standing in the middle of the Grand Ballroom at Navy Pier. She still wore those same blues from before, slightly older and more worn than they once were, but her bright, green attitude she previously bore was gone. She was exhausted and nervous, sitting before her District Commander in a small and unfamiliar room in Ivory Tower.

“Hailey, I hope I don’t have to remind you that you are not to discuss the case with anyone, nothing you did, nothing you saw, not a single detail that pertains to the operation is to be exchanged until you are told otherwise by the AUSA’s office,” the Commander instructed her, carrying an even tone that made the reason for the meeting hard to discern.

“Yes ma’am,” Hailey affirmed with a simple nod.

“With that being said, I have news for you. There will be a more formal presentation of this news, but for now I get to be the first to tell you,” the Commander spoke, inhaling deeply before continuing. “Officer Hailey Upton, for your outstanding acts of heroism and performance during the aforementioned case, on behalf of the Superintendent of Police, the Bureau of Detectives, and the entirety of the Chicago Police Department, we commend your service with a merit promotion to the ranking of Detective.”

Her brows raised in surprise. After the long stretch undercover, she was just happy to finally be Hailey again, to be in her home, to be able to work with the safety and familiarity of her coworkers. She had spent those weeks hoping the case would lend her a promotion, but she never fully imagined that it would. She was equal parts ecstatic and stunned by the news, but she blinked, and she was transported once again. She was no longer sitting across from her District Commander but from Sergeant Voight in the low light of his office.

“Our only Detective just recently and unexpectedly took furlough. Burgess, Ruzek, Atwater, we’ve been trying to make do with just us, but we’re stretched thin. There’s a spot on our team and we could really use the help. It’s yours if you want it,” his gravelly voice posited.

Before she knew it, those moments that stood out so vividly in her mind became fuzzy images in what seemed like a poorly put together movie, and everything began to fade to black.

When she finally woke, it was to the sound of machines and the low babel of indistinct conversation. As her eyes blinked open, she took in the glimpse of four familiar faces and numerous wires and IVs hooked up to her body.

She hadn’t been in Intelligence long, only about two weeks before she wound up in that hospital room, but she knew from her first day that she had stumbled upon her forever people. She didn’t take the job with this expectation. In fact, she was expecting it to be as rocky as her first time working with the team. Yet, she came to learn that despite the reputation that preceded them, they were some of the most loyal and genuine people she had met in all of her time with the CPD. In only the short amount of time she had been with them, they had clung to her in a way nobody else ever had, developing what she knew to be a lifelong bond. The fact that their faces were the first she saw when she finally came to only affirmed that.

“There she is!” Kevin’s voice rang as they all rose, making their way closer to her bedside.

“Did we get them?” Her voice croaked, and they all nodded in confirmation, looking over to their sergeant to deliver the news.

Her memory of right before everything went dark was fuzzy. She wasn’t exactly sure what caused the injuries that left her aching all over, but everything else, the case, the targets, it was all still fresh in her mind. She didn’t want to talk about the case. She didn’t even want to think about it, but she needed to know if they got them. That everything that happened was worth it. She breathed out, allowing a sliver of tension that had been bottled up inside of her release with it. She watched them nod, and she waited for her boss to tell her what she needed to hear.

“We got ‘em, kid. They’re going down for everything, but most importantly for what they did to you,” he assured. She nodded, flinching at the surge of pain that came with the small movement.

“Okay, everybody. I need some time with the patient if you don’t mind,” the doctor announced as she entered the room. They all nodded, grabbing their things to leave.

“I’m happy you’re okay,” Kim told her, reaching out and briefly resting a hand over hers. Voight and Adam nodded in agreement before they all turned to walk out.

“Tough as they come, girl. Glad you’re still with us,” Kevin said, reaching out his arm and fist for her to bump. She smiled, bumping him back with her uninjured arm and thanking them all for being there.

Once they had left the room, the doctor quickly read over her chart before rolling a chair over to her.

“So, give me the rundown. How bad is it?” Hailey questioned anxiously.

“You were shot three times. Twice in the abdomen, once in the shoulder. That vest of yours caught the first two. However, they did leave some pretty significant bruising so we are going to need to monitor you closely, make sure you don’t develop any internal bleeding or rupture. The one in your shoulder was a through and through. We were able to go in and repair what it tore, but you lost a lot of blood. So, you should get comfortable. We’re going to need to keep you here for observation a few days. Looks like you’ll be out of work for the next week at the least, then out of the field for a few weeks after that,” She explained. Hailey just nodded simply in response, a look of defeat on her face.

“Detective, it could have been a lot worse had you not been wearing that vest. It also could have been a lot worse if that bullet in your shoulder struck just a half a centimeter lower. I know it doesn’t feel like it, but I’d say you’re pretty lucky,” she admitted, rising from her chair before dropping her chart at the end of the bed and making her way out of the room.

Lucky. It wasn’t the word she’d use to describe how she was feeling. On top of the pain, she was reeling from that vision she had just before her breathing stalled and everything shut off. She’d always heard people say their life flashed before their eyes in those kind of moments, but she never expected it to be such a deflating experience. Her life flashed before her eyes, but the only outstanding moments were her graduation from the academy, her promotion to detective, and her offer into Intelligence. She loved her job, and she was proud of those moments, but it felt disillusioning that in what felt like her final moments, the only good memories her brain could come up with tied back to her job. A job that too often reminded her of all of the bad in the world. A job that had landed her there in the first place.

She didn’t want to fully think about what happened. She wasn’t emotionally prepared for it. Still, she couldn’t stop thinking about the moment before she lost consciousness, when those memories flashed through her mind. It made her realize just how empty her life had been. Her injuries may not have necessarily been life threatening, but she felt as though she was getting a second chance. A second chance to get more out of life than a few job related accomplishments in her end-of-life film reel. A second chance to be intentional about making more memories.

- - - -

A few days had gone by, and she was still in the hospital. She was already feeling better, more than ready to go home, but her doctor extended her stay, wanting to monitor her and her labs. She spent a lot of time in her room, keeping her mind busy with a few books Kim had brought her, but getting distracted by whatever rerun was playing on the small tv screen in the corner of the room. She didn’t have any visitors, something that only added to the epiphany about her life that had her rattled from the moment she woke. Her Intelligence family was practically all she had. They stopped by when they could, but for the most part they were all busy at work, leaving her alone to herself and the occasional check in from various medical staff. Boredom was growing with each passing minute, and she thought about how hard it would be to survive a few weeks out of the field if she couldn’t even make it through a few days in the hospital.

Having enough of sitting in the hospital bed, she was able to convince a nurse to let her sneak out for a walk around the hospital. She felt like a mess. She was dressed head to toe in sweats, her right arm was in a sling, and the look was pulled together with a pair of socks and sandals. Not exactly the most flattering outfit, but she had reached the level of restlessness that left her unaffected by her appearance. She just needed to be out of that room.

She got another book in the gift shop and stopped by the cafeteria where she found some chocolate ice cream. She tucked the book into her sling as she walked about the halls, shoveling the snack into her mouth with each step. She finally climbed into the elevator, and pressed the button for her floor before settling into the back corner. Every bit seemed better than the last. She wasn’t sold on the hospital food. It reminded her of grade school cafeteria food, something she was never fond of, so she knew that ice cream would be the only good thing she had to eat all day. The elevator stopped at the next floor and a man stepped in, pressing a button before settling into the corner across from her. She briefly looked up at him with a friendly nod before looking back down into the cup in her hand for another bite. Suddenly, a movement across the car brought her attention back to him. He had pulled a needled syringe from his pocket and began pressing it into his forearm. Her posture straightened and she froze as she watched him repeatedly stab his arm with the needle.

“Trypanophobia… don’t worry, it’s a prop needle,” he broke through the silence, and she relaxed slightly as he continued to speak.

“You know? The ones they use in movies that don’t actually pierce the skin. My idiot brother said the best way to overcome my fear of needles is exposure therapy, starting with these fake ones. Yet, I’ve been in and out of this hospital for several weeks now, plenty exposed to these things, and I still can’t seem to get used to the poking and prodding,” the man said, flashing her a shy smile as he continued pushing the needle into his arm.

“Seems like pretty sound advice to me. Maybe your idiot brother isn’t such an idiot after all,” she responded back with amusement.

“Yeah, well he may be a doctor, but he’s also my older brother which, in my eyes, makes him an idiot by default,” he said matter-of-factly, immediately looking up at her with a curl in his lips.

“Ah, well I have 2 brothers myself, so I suppose I can somewhat appreciate that sentiment,” she smirked, looking over at him from the other side of the elevator.

She discretely eyed him as he busied his focus back on the syringe in his hand. He was tall, with broad shoulders, and a shirt that fit a little too tight, revealing toned muscles underneath with every movement. The beanie he wore fully covered his head but based on the freckles all across his face and the darkness of his eyebrows, she had to guess he was a redhead, maybe even a brunette. His face was clean shaven, which made it hard to tell just how old he was, but his eyes were what had her. They were an entrancing blend of green and blue, and they gave off a sort of friendly warmth that mellowed out his somewhat intimidating deportment.

“What landed you in here?” He asked, continuing to mindlessly press the object into his arm.

“I- injured on the job,” she put simply.

“Been there,” he said directly, his obscurity matching hers. Her brow furrowed briefly before silence filled the small space and she centered her focus back on the ice cream in her hand.

“Are you doing anything right now, you know, besides stuffing your face with diabetes?” He queried, cutting through the silence and nodding to the cup of ice cream in her hand. She scoffed sarcastically.

“Why do you ask?” She questioned dubiously, trying to keep a lightness in her voice. “Also, I’ll have you know this is the only decent thing to eat this hospital has to offer. I survived a few bullets, I’m sure a little sugar won’t kill me,” she replied. He chuckled as she scooped up a large bite and shoveled it into her mouth with pride.

“Fair enough. And I ask because I have some time to kill, so I just wanted to see if you cared to join me for a little golf on the roof,” he said.

“There isn’t golf on the roof,” she shook her head, amused by the way he proposed it so factually.

“Oh, but there is,” he returned. She squinted her eyes at him in disbelief, and he quickly pressed the elevator button for the roof. She didn’t believe him, but she was bored. Out of her mind. So, she reluctantly decided to follow him. When the elevator stopped at the rooftop, he led her out to an opening with a small patch of turf, two clubs, and a basket of golf balls.

“What the hell? You were serious?” she laughed.

“Yeah, I was serious. I never joke about golf,” He said frankly, grabbing a golf club and placing the ball on the tee.

“Is this even allowed?” She asked, placing her empty cup down as she watched him swing the club into the ball. Her eyes travelled it as it flew from the roof, and she brought her eyes back to him, a staggered look on her face.

“Probably not, but like I said, my idiot brother is a doctor, so if we get caught I’ll just blame it on him,” he smiled, flashing her a wink before hitting another ball off the tee. “Do you want to try?” He asked, offering her a club.

“Don’t think that’s even possible,” she returned, raising her slinged arm slightly to make her point.

“That’s no excuse,” he said, “Come here,” he instructed. She gave in, making her way over toward him.

Close up, his eyes were more green than blue, and they were so beautiful that she found herself getting lost in them for a second. She snapped back into focus when he offered her the club. She took it, and he helped her adjust her feet so that she was standing properly. He placed a ball on the tee, took a step back, and motioned for her to have at it.

She wound the shot up with her uninjured arm and struck the ball. She was still sore from her injuries, and the movement of the swing sent a surge of pain through her torso. She flinched, chipping the top of the ball in the follow through. They both erupted in laughter when the ball barely went but a few feet in front of them, and she dropped the club to the ground to clutch at her abdomen.

“Okay, so maybe you were right,” he laughed, his mood dropping the second he noticed she was in pain. “Hey, are you okay?” He inspected, reaching a supportive hand through the small distance between them.

“Yeah, just still a little sore,” she admitted, stepping back as she forced a smile to hide her pain. He just nodded and she stepped back to lean against the wall. He was silent, but she could sense he was thinking hard about something.

“So injured on the job, huh?” He finally asked. “You mentioned something about surviving a bullet, so what exactly is your job? Bank Robber? Spy? Assassin?” He bantered. She pursed her lips into a wry smile, shaking her head with a weak laugh.

“Mm. You pay attention. I’m a Cop. Detective more specifically. It was uh…” she hadn’t fully addressed how everything had went down yet. The case wasn’t one she wanted to particularly think about, and as the memories from moments before the shooting slowly came back, she immediately pushed them down. She still wasn’t prepared to talk about it. Especially not to some stranger she met in an elevator only 15 minutes before.

“Things took a turn quickly. I took two to the vest, one in the shoulder,” she finally got out, remaining vague through her wording.

His movements stilled, and he looked over at her, a concerned yet knowing look on his face.

“Through and through?” He asked her. She nodded bleakly.

“I’ve had a similar injury,” she noticed his jaw clench with his words. “I was a cop too,” he eventually admitted, a sullen look falling upon his face.

“Was?” She questioned.

“I mean, I guess I technically still am, but it doesn’t feel like it,” he adumbrated. She noticed he was being cryptic, but despite her own curiosity she could tell it wasn’t something he was prepared to talk about. It got quiet as she weighed whether or not to question him further. She settled against it, and in desperate need to change the subject, her attention fell back upon the golf setup. She nodded her head towards it to redirect the conversation.

“So why do you have this here?” She asked him. She watched as he sucked his teeth, pulling his tongue back with a pop before answering.

“I was diagnosed with Stage 2 Pancreatic Cancer several weeks ago. Started chemotherapy not long after that, and as I mentioned before, needles are not my favorite thing, so I come up here before each treatment… calm my nerves a bit,” he admitted. Her face fell. She put two and two together, figuring that was his reason behind not feeling like a cop anymore. She quickly realized her problems, her boredom, everything she’d complained about in the past few days really didn’t mean anything in the grand scheme of things. It also in a way reminded her of that second chance she seemed to have gotten. She was suddenly both inspired and confused about where she stood in the way she viewed her life.

“I’m sorry,” she said, almost in a whisper.

“Oh, none of that. No room for sorry or sadness up here. Only golf,” he quipped, forcing a smile and turning his attention back to the golf ball on the ground before whacking it from the roof.

Before she could respond, her phone buzzed in her pocket, bringing her attention away from him.

Where are you? Kev and I brought you some food, but your room is empty.

It was a text from Kim. After reading it, she looked up at the man. She had a strange desire to stay up there with him, to watch him hit golf balls from the roof and get to know more about him, but she knew her friends would send the entire hospital after her if she didn’t show a sign of life.

“I’m sorry, but I’ve got to go,” she said, slipping her phone back in her pocket and pushing herself from the wall.

“Hey, what’d I say about sorry?” He smirked, resting the club on the ground and leaning against it as he stepped towards her.

“How much longer are you stuck here?” he asked, tilting his head with his words.

“Honestly, I’m not really sure. Doctors haven’t been able to give me a clear answer.”

“Well, maybe I’ll see you around. It was nice to meet you um…” he let out an awkward chuckle. “I don’t know your name,” he said sheepishly.

“Hailey. I’m Hailey,” she smirked, extending her uninjured hand for him to shake. He grabbed it, shaking it back lightly and slowly. As he peered into her eyes, an abnormal feeling overcame her. It was almost a sense of familiarity, like he wasn’t a stranger she had just met, but someone she’d known her whole life. It was the look in his eyes and the comfort of his touch, and it was a feeling that took her by surprise. Nonetheless, the feeling was gone as quickly as it came, and they pulled apart as he parted his lips to speak.

“Nice to meet you, Hailey,” he said, his free hand finding way to his pocket. Her phone buzzed again, another text from Kim, and she knew she had to get back to her room before they sent the entirety of Chicago searching for her. She gave him one last smile before turning towards the elevators. As she settled in and pressed the button for her floor, she looked up to see him watching her every movement. She quickly looked down at her feet with this realization, remembering how she was dressed and suddenly regretting leaving her room like that. She was grateful when he finally turned, directing his attention back to the golf balls on the ground.

“Wait,” she said, throwing her free hand up to the elevator doors as they began to close. He twisted around, his eyes carrying a gentle, curious look.

“You didn’t tell me your name,” she called out.

He opened his mouth to speak, but he stopped himself, his eyes looking up and dropping quickly as if he’d forgotten his name and was waiting for it to fall from the sky.

“Just remember me as the stranger from the elevator,” he finally said slyly.

She frowned, but he just returned her look with taut smirk. When it was clear that was all he was going to offer, she backed up into the elevator, an annoyed and skeptical smile on her face as she allowed the doors to fall shut.

She acted on autopilot for the rest of the afternoon, distracted by the encounter with the stranger. She wasn’t an at first sight kind of person. Love, admiration, attraction, feelings, they weren’t things she typically felt from the jump. It took time and trust for her to develop those things that some could develop in a first encounter. Yet, with this guy, something was different. From the ride down to the elevator, to dinner in her room with her friends, to the moment her head touched the uncomfortable hospital pillow that night, the stranger and some unexplainable feeling about him lingered in her mind like a bad hangover. He was aloof and smug, but something about that combination left her wanting more. More about his story, about his quirks, about everything that made him seem so interesting.

It took her a while to find sleep, as it had every night prior that she had spent in that hospital, but that night it was for another reason. It wasn’t just the discomfort of the bed or the unfamiliarity of the room that left her restless. It was the image of the stranger’s well-pleased grin in her mind, his blue-green eyes sparkling at her, and her own curiosity keeping her up late into the night. Every part of her hoped that she would see him again. She couldn’t quite explain it, but the timing of it all made her think she was meant to meet him for some undiscovered reason. That gave her just enough hope that their encounter wasn’t just a one time thing. She had a strong feeling she was going to see him again.

#upstead #jay x hailey #hailey x jay #jay halstead #hailey upton #chicago pd #upstead fic #justmypartner fics #collection of Em’s fics

[cpd5021]

Night Out

Jealous Jay. Turned on Hailey. Prompted by @thetwit!! Smut and rated M.

Hailey, Jay and the rest of Intelligence sat gathered around a table at the back of Molly’s. The bar was unusually packed tonight with out of towners, visiting Chicago after a hockey game. Hailey sat wedged in the corner, Jay pushed right up against her, his thigh pressing into hers. Their relationship was new and still under wraps from the rest of the unit, but the more Jay drank, the longer his glances at her lingered and the more her team members grinned. It wouldn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that the two were now dating and Hailey was pretty sure almost everyone had figured it out, but they hadn’t taken the actual step of confirming out loud to anyone. Then again, with the looks the two of them were getting, maybe they didn’t have too. Jay’s hand came to rest on top of her thigh under the table and he gave her leg a squeeze, causing a grin to appear on her lips, one she quickly hid behind her beer bottle. She glanced over to him, taking in his mischievous eyes that were becoming hazy from his night of drinking. She moved her hand to cover his, firmly halting him from traveling any further up her leg. Ruzek’s voice boomed loudly from the opposite side of the table, causing both of them to draw their attention his way. The crew was taking turns paying for rounds and it was Hailey’s turn now, she gently pressed against Jay’s shoulder, getting him to move so she could make her way out from the table and up to the bar. Kim finished off the rest of her beer before jumping up to help her carry everything back. At the bar the bartender sent them an apologetic look as she rushed to make up a huge order for the group of guys next to them. Kim leaned in to excuse herself for a bathroom break and Hailey settled onto the last free stool while she waited. A hand grazed across her upper back, causing her to jump slightly at the foreign touch. She turned to find an extremely intoxicated man looming over her, a huge grin plastered on his face as his hand remained on her back. She sent him a forced smile, gently shrugging away from his touch. 

“Come on beautiful, you shouldn’t spend the night alone.”

His breath assaulted her nose with a mix of alcohol and nacho chips. She struggled to keep the friendly smile on her face as she nearly gagged from the smell. 

“Oh I won’t be, thanks.”

He wasn’t taking the hint though and she let the smile falter. Just as she was about to say something more, Jay approached them from the side. His arm instantly wrapped around her lower waist, his other hand coming to rest on her shoulder. She leaned into his touch as he stared down the man. Normally, Hailey wasn’t the type to let someone swoop in and save her but in this current moment she was enjoying the way Jay was looking. The man conceded under Jay’s irritated stare and turned to leave them alone. Hailey turned in Jay’s arms, a slight smirk forming on her face as she looked up at him. His nostrils still flared from the rush of possessiveness and the way his jaw was clenched sent a rush of heat to her core. Jay finally looked down to meet her eyes, confusion crossing over his face as he took in her smirk. 

“What?”

He asked, furrowing his brows at her. Before she could answer, the bartender set the group of bottles between them with a smile. Hailey grabbed a beer, bringing it to her lips as Jay continued to stare at her. 

“You were jealous.”

She said, smiling around the bottle. Jay, who had brought his own bottle to his mouth, scoffed into the glass, rolling his eyes for added effect. 

“No. I just don’t like someone thinking they can put their hands all over you.”  

She bit her lower lip, eyelids heavy as she looked up at him. 

“Well, I know someone who can put their hands all over me.”

Her statement, coupled with the look she was giving him, caused Jay to choke on his beer. He glanced back down at her, eyes bugging out in shock at her forwardness. 

“Hailey…”

He breathed out, his voice low and husky. 

“Admit it, you were jealous.”

She bore her eyes into him, her hands coming to rest on his chest, her fingers playing with the buttons there. 

“I was not.”

He scoffed again, his face turning serious although she could tell it was just a front. 

“Well, that’s a shame.”

Hailey removed her hands and slid off the stool, creating distance between them. Jay’s eyes turned quizzical, trailing after her movements.

“Why’s that?”

He took a step closer to her, his height making her tilt her head up to look at him. 

“No reason.”

She gave him a quick smile before turning on her heels and heading back towards their table with the beer bottles in her arms. He followed after her and they settled back into their seats, his eyes never leaving her but the crowded table limiting his ability to push the topic further. As the night went on, Jay’s hand reached out to her thigh again, gripping higher each time he did it before her hand would stop him. When his fingers weren’t dancing up her leg they were trailing the small of her back, drawing lazy patterns against the sensitive skin. Finally, Jay got his moment when Adam, Kim and Kevin engaged in a loud conversation over something sport related. Jay dipped down low enough that his lips brushed against her earlobe, his eyes locked on their friends should they look back this way. Hailey shivered slightly at the sensation, her eyes also watching the group. 

“Why would it be a shame?”

He repeated his earlier question, eliciting a smirk to form on Hailey’s mouth. 

“Well if you weren’t jealous, then it doesn’t matter.”

She retorted, smiling into the mouth of her beer bottle. 

“So what if I said I was, just a little?”

He whispered into her ear, his voice once again low and husky.

“Then I would tell you that it was a little bit of a turn on.”

As she spoke, his hand once again found her thigh, higher this time and causing her to jump slightly. 

“Just a little? What if I said I was super jealous?”

Hailey turned her head to look at him, her eyes heavy with desire and making his breath hitch at the sight.

“Well then I would say I was super-”

Before she could finish, a loud bang sounded from the table as Adam’s fist connected with the wood. Out of anger or excitement she wouldn’t know because suddenly Jay was hauling her back out of the seat, tugging her behind him as he made his way through the bar. Hailey was fairly confident their drunken friends wouldn’t notice their absence but didn’t risk the look back, just in case someone was looking their way. Jay pulled her out the front door and down the sidewalk before dipping down a short alley between the buildings. Hailey jogged to keep up, a smile forming on her face when they stepped out of the street light and he pushed her up against the cool brick wall. His lips found hers before she could fully process what was happening but her body caught up in record time. Her hands wound around his neck, pulling him closer to deepen the kiss. His teeth grazed her lower lip, causing her to moan. The sound spurred him on and then he was trailing kisses down her neck, nipping at the skin just below her ear. One hand slid down his chest, moving to the front of his jeans where his excitement was already straining against the fabric. He bucked into her touch before breaking away from the kiss, his eyes meeting hers with a wild look between them. 

“Let’s go home.”

He all but groaned, pulling her off the wall and back out into the dimly lit street. They made it to his truck, both climbing inside before Hailey put her hand over his as he went to start the truck. 

“Jay, you’re drunk.”

He looked at her, slowly processing her words. He pulled the keys out of the ignition and handed them to her. She laughed as he motioned for them to switch places. 

“Jay, I’m drunk too.”

He groaned again, letting his head fall back against the headrest. 

“Okay, so we call an Uber. It’s going to take forever to get home.”

Hailey looked at him with a mischievous grin, her eyes darting from his to the back of his truck.

“Who said we had to wait?”

A look of shock crossed his face as he took in what she was saying. Obviously, the sex had been beyond amazing so far, not something that him. But he was a little shocked at her willingness for a much more daring idea. She sent him another grin before she angled her body around and climbed into the back seat. He sat there dumbfounded for a moment before he glanced back, watching her begin to unbutton her shirt. He jumped out from the driver's seat and whipped the back door open, climbing in beside her and slamming it shut. He hit the lock button for good measure before his hands cupped her face and he brought his lips to hers once again. She shifted around, swinging a leg over his lap and moving to straddle him. Moaning when his erection hit just the right spot through her jeans. His hands gripped her waist, moving her to grind down on him, the movement eliciting a moan from both of them. Jay’s hands moved up under her shirt, fingers dancing over the goosebumps forming there. He moved them up farther, cupping her chest with a firm grip before pulling the fabric down to tease her hardened nipples. She tugged at his shirt, breaking their kiss just long enough to pull it over his head before her hands trailed down his sculpted chest. Jay moaned and bucked up into her as her mouth moved down his neck, nipping at the toned skin. His fingers made quick work of her shirt buttons and then in an instant had both the shirt and her bra off. Hailey was thankful for tinted windows and the fact that it was night time, she just hoped no one would come looking for them. Not that she really cared at this particular moment as her hunger for the release only Jay could give her overwhelmed her senses. His mouth found her chest and her head fell back in pleasure. His hands moved to her belt, undoing it and the zipper quickly before sliding his hand into her jeans. He teased her through the soaked fabric of her underwear and it was enough to drive her wild. She moaned against his neck when his fingers pushed the fabric aside and began to circle her bundle of nerves. Her legs began to quiver around him but she craved more. 

“Jay…”

She breathed out into his neck. WIthout the need to say anything else, he picked up on what she wanted. He flipped her over onto the seat and swiftly tugged her jeans off. Her hands danced along the waist of his jeans, tugging at them before he made to undo them. Jay pulled his jeans down to his thighs, as far as they could go in the tight space. Her hand came up to tug the fabric of his boxers down and her other hand found a grip on his hardened member, sliding it up and down and flicking her finger over the tip. The sensation was enough to have him on edge. Jay moved himself to hover over her, his arms flexing on either side of her head as she reached up to kiss him. Her fingers clawed over his chest, making him shiver slightly under the touch. Propping himself up on one arm, Jay’s other hand moved to grip himself, lining up with her wet core and teasing her slightly before she bucked up into him, making him slide in just a little. He gave her a look, making sure this was okay, just as he always did, before he pushed the rest of his length into her. Her head fell back in pleasure once again as her body arched up into him. He gave her a moment to adjust before he set about a steady pace, bringing them both to the edge in a matter of minutes. When Jay could tell she was getting close, he reached a hand down to give attention to her bundle of nerves and her walls began to quiver around him. 

“Jay...fuck…”

She moaned out loudly as her body fell apart, he thrust into her as her walls clenched around him, milking his own release just after hers. He rode out her orgasm before he gently pulled out, shifting to sit in the seat beside her as she bent her legs for him to fit. They were silent for a moment, the only sound was their heavy breathing as they came down from their highs. Suddenly, Hailey began to laugh uncontrollably and Jay followed suit, her laughter contagious. Hailey moved herself up into a sitting position, grabbing for her clothes and sliding her jeans back on. Jay pulled his jeans up and fastened them before he reached to hand her her bra. Before she could secure the piece of fabric, Jay dipped over, pulling her into another heated kiss. Just as her hands moved to grip behind his neck, a pounding sounded from the window. 

“I’m not looking but it’s pretty fucking obvious what you two are doing. Have a good night!”

Kim yelled at them through the truck. Hailey’s face was instantly on fire as she pulled her shirt over her chest, hoping nothing had been revealed through the tinted windows. Jay peeked out onto the street, watching their group of friends climb into a cab. He started to laugh again over their situation and Hailey couldn’t help but laugh along. 

“I can’t believe you talked me into that!”

She huffed, feigning annoyance.

“Me? This was all on you!”

Jay scoffed, gently pushing her shoulder. They fell into a laughing fit again, a mix of their high, the alcohol and embarrassment. 

“I’m definitely not going to work tomorrow.”

Hailey said, shaking her head. 

“Absolutely not.”

Jay agreed, glancing out the window one last time. 

“We better call that Uber, now that we’re not in a hurry.”

Hailey rested back into the seat, a sudden wave of exhaustion settling over her.

“Who said I’m not in a hurry for round two?”

Jay sent her a wink before pulling out his phone to call for a ride, leaving Hailey to simply shake her head at him.

#chicago pd #chicago pd fanfiction #halstead and upton #jay halstead #hailey upton #halstead #jay x hailey #upstead #upton

[cloudninetonine]

Past Trauma

Pairing: Adam Ruzek x Reader

Summary: Something bad happens at work and you finally spill about your past trauma to your boyfriend

A/N: This fic is kinda self projecting, so it’s gonna be kind of specific. Don’t worry, I’m fine, I just needed a way to vent and well, this was my way. Also, I’ve only really watched clips and seen odd episodes of Chicago P.D so sorry if Adam seems a pic OOC. He’s my fav and I really wanted to write something for him for so long and I just got impatient XD

I DO NOT OWN CHICAGO P.D OR MED THIS IS MERELY FANFICTION

Warnings: Abuse, graphic writing (Kinda?), thoughts of suicide, I think PTSD? (I would say PTSD just in case) Self-hatred (It’s a pretty dark fic, but it takes a more wholesome turn at the end)

(This gif seemed appropriate)

You and Adam had started dating a little over three years ago.

You had travelled from beyond the great blue to America for a new experience after medical school then ended up working in Chicago Med because you had “fallen in love with the windy city”

You had caught Adam’s attention straight away and after about three months of trying to get your attention, you finally agreed to go on a date with him. You were new to the whole scene, dating, flirting- everything, as you had been busy trying to get your life together before even thinking about bringing someone else into it and well, he was happy to help you into it. You were a great character, friendly, smart, considerate of those around you, playful and Adam had thought himself a lucky guy when he had finally bagged you.

Though he knew you were hiding things from him, no, not that you were cheating or had fallen out of love, much deeper things. You didn’t like to talk about your family life, you had mentioned your mother (A wonderful woman who he had met when she visited for Christmas) your closest friends, a chaotic but loving bunch, others here and there, but you didn’t go farther than that. You deliberately skipped moments in your life, you had bad days where you didn’t contact anyone and when he tried to get closer, you dodged him about the subject.

He understood everyone had their demons, but yours almost seemed to consume you and he always worried, it was a surprise your secrecy hadn’t caused any damage to the relationship but you had a way with your words and he loved you so much (something he admitted after a year of dating, the morning of your anniversary when he had stumbled in on you eating Oreos at 3 in the morning before he had slipped and told you that he loved you which resulted in you choking on a cookie)

He had hoped that one day, you would tell him about the thoughts in your head and well, the day had finally come.

There had been a brawl in the emergency bay at Chicago Med and he and Kevin had been sent over to investigate the disturbance. The scene hadn’t been too chaotic, but he would be lying if he said that there wasn’t a mess there. The suspect, a 19-year-old Lucia Carter, had been dragged out of the place in handcuffs, kicking and screeching loudly while blood dripped out of her nose accompanied with marks of an obvious scuffle on her face. Kevin had let out a low whistle at the damage as they walked by.

The detectives had approached the closest officer to ask about the details.

“Miss Carter is being apprehended for abuse, threats of murder and for assaulting a bystander” The young man had started “She came in when she found out her father had brought his son for a checkup after she had deliberately broken his arm, she started to get violent towards her parent and sibling, a doctor tried to interfere and it ended with them fighting. Security split them up eventually but it’s obvious that Miss Carter provoked the fight and that the doctor was protecting the victims so they won’t be charged”

“Alright, thank you”

Kevin had already begun talking with the father and the son, while Adam glanced around, hoping to catch a glimpse of your figure when only moments later, Sharon Goodwin had approached him, her face showing concern as she softly called for his attention. “Adam, please if you could come with me for a moment”

“Is there something wrong?” Adam asked, Kevin, glancing over at the sound of his partner’s voice.

“It’s about (Name)”

Adam’s eyes widened and he glanced back at Kevin, who promptly nodded in understanding before the detective and chief departed from the scene quietly to where you were being held.

“What happened?”

“Well, when Miss Carter began to get violent, (Name) decided to try and stop it but, from what I heard, Miss Carter slapped her and that’s what started the fight” Sharon started “It took two men to pry her off of Miss Carter and now, she’s not responding to anyone. Dr Charles is talking with her at the moment, well, trying, but he’s not getting very far, so we thought that it would be a good idea if you tried to talk with her”

The door to an employee lounge was pushed open to you and Dr Charles sitting opposite from one another. The older man was talking, his eyes only glancing towards Goodwin and Adam before settling back on you. You were deadly silent, staring ahead, straight through Dr Charles and your leg was bouncing with obvious tension. 

It made Adam nervous, especially when he could see some blood on the cuff of your coat.

“(Name)” Charles’ voice was soft as he settled a hand on your knee, “Adam’s here to see you”

You still didn’t react.

“(Name)?”

Your leg movement stopped for a moment, before continuing, much faster now.

“We’ll give you two a moment” Charles and Goodwin closed the door behind them quietly while Adam settled next to you silently, his hand coming to rest on your arm before slowly sliding down to grip your hand. You didn’t resist, but you didn’t really respond either, just limply held his hand in your own.

“Hey,” he greeted, enclosing your hand with both of his and placing a small kiss onto on fingers. “I heard what happened-”

Now that he was closer, he could see the damage. You had your glasses on, the left lens was cracked and under, your eye was bruised and bloody, your lip was busted and there was a small laceration on your face with blood slowly dripping onto your coat. You didn’t pay any mind to it, you didn’t really seem to care, but Adam’s heart squeezed painfully at the sight. You were in a better state than Lucia Carter, but that didn’t matter.

“Is that what she did to you?” His hand moved to grab your chin, hoping to inspect your injuries further but you immediately jumped up, catching his wrist firmly in your hand, nails digging into the skin while still holding his other hand loosely. Your eyes were frantic, your breathing had picked up and you were shaking violently as you glared at him.”Woah, woah, it’s okay, you’re okay, it’s just me, it’s just Adam”

He was shocked, understandably so, but his eyes held a softness to them, one that was slowly helping you bring you back to reality.

Pained guilt flashed on your face and your hold on his wrist relaxed until it became limp and fell to your side “....I’m sorry…”

With a soft squeeze to your intertwined fingers, Adam tugged you back next to him “It’s okay”

“It’s not-” You tried to argue, but he shushed to gently before pressing a kiss into your hair.

“Can I hold you?”

“...Please”

His arm wrapped around your waist and tugged your closer, hugging you close to his figure as the two of you rocked back and forth gently, the man pressing soft kisses to where he could reach as he waited. Did he know what he was waiting for? No, but he knew you needed time and it would come out eventually.

And it did.

“I didn’t want it to turn out like that”

Adam glanced down at you “The fight?”

You hummed. “I didn’t want to make it any crazier than it was, but then she slapped me and I...I lost it”

“Why?” He couldn’t help but ask “You’re one of the most patient people I know”

“...She reminded me of my brother”

Adam stopped rocking and pulled back to look at you, watching as the look in your eyes twisted into something more, something dark and your lip curled in disgust.

“Brother? You’ve never mentioned you had a brother…”

“That’s because he isn’t” You growled, “He’s just a fucker that I’m related to”

It was then that Adam realised that this was what you had been keeping from him for so long, this was what he had been waiting for. He could see the tension that was building up in your system, the obvious hatred in your words and he decided that his curiosity could wait another day “You don’t have to explain-”

“I’ve kept this from you for three years, Adam” You looked him in the eye “You deserve an explanation and I can handle it, don’t worry”

He pulled your hand to his lips and kissed it gently “Okay, take your time”

A few moments, quiet, tense moments, but eventually, you took a deep breath, closed your eyes and squeezed his hand.

“My brother was an abusive arsehole that used to torment me and my mum. It wasn’t always like that, I can still remember the good days, but he changed when we got older; he became more narcissistic, more demanding, rougher- like his father, might I add” You spat the words with venom, pupils shrinking in hatred “That fucker wasn’t around either, he hurt my mum before she kicked his arse out, but oh boy, did I get the experience of him from my brother; like father like son, am I right?”

You had said it in a joking way, but he could hear that rage behind it. You continued “My brother got worse when my gran died, he got more physical, wasn’t afraid to throw me or my mum around and I fucking hated it. I fought back for a while, we both did, but it only ended with aches for the next day and bruised self-esteem, so I gave up, but my mother didn’t, she was- is, way too strong for that, shame I can’t say the same about me”

Tears gathered in your eyes “Once again, it got more shitty when he got a job. Called me and my mum lazy bitches, constantly complained, blamed us for anything and everything, it was a fucking nightmare. Mum couldn’t work because of health problems, which he thought were bullshit, and me, I was way too scared to interact with people to get a job”

With a whimper, you brushed away the tear that fell down your cheek. “I was scared, he made me scared, I used to be so open and happy, but he ruined that. My mental health declined, I was constantly sad, I hated myself, I still hate myself and it’s because of him!”

You were starting to sob, it was quiet at first, but the more you talked, the louder it became “I hated him so much, I still hate him! But he made me hate myself more! It wasn’t fair! Why was I the worthless one? When he treated us like that? Why did I have to become sad and angry and scared!? It’s not fair, Adam! I deserved to be happy! But he didn’t let me! I was a wreck in what was supposed to be the best years of my life, because of him!”

You were choking on your tears and Adam had tried to console you, but you weren’t finished “S-So when that boy came in with his father, I knew, I could tell. He looked so sad, so broken and so did the father. The man was terrified when I confronted him! He tried to defend her, he said that their mother had died and she was acting out! I told him that was no excuse, that both of them deserved better! And you know what he did? He fucking cried! He said he was ashamed of himself, letting his daughter become this monster, his own daughter beat him and he was more ashamed at that than the fact that he was getting hurt, that he was scared, that he needed to protect his son from his fucking sister. He said he wasn’t a good father, but he was trying. My mum said the same thing, that I deserved better, but I didn’t! She was the best! And so was this guy! He was kind, supportive, loved his children but he got fucked over by a stupid bitch that couldn’t keep her hands to her fucking SELF!”

You stood, kicking over the table in front of you two and Adam jumped up. He wanted to do something, to calm you down, to tell you he loved you, but you needed to get this out, you need to say this, so he waited. 

“That boy is fucking ten! TEN-YEARS-OLD! AND HIS SISTER WAS DOING THAT TO HIM!? MOTHER FUCKING BITCH!” You kicked the table again and punched the wall “HE BLAMED HIMSELF, HE SAID THAT HE CAUSED IT, BUT IT WASN’T HIS FAULT, IT WAS HER FUCKING FAULT! And you know what else? HE SAID HE SHOULD HAVE BEEN DEAD! A TEN-YEAR-OLD, WANTED TO BE DEAD! SHE MADE HIM THINK THIS, SHE MADE HATE HIMSELF, MADE HIM WANNA KILL HIMSELF JUST LIKE- just like my brother had done to me”

You wrapped your arms around yourself, shaking violently as you stared at the floor “I wanted to kill myself, just like that little boy had, sometimes, I still do and-…. And so when she slapped me...I lost it, I wanted to kill her, right there and then, because at that moment, she wasn’t Lucia Carter, she was my older brother, so I didn’t hold back…”

You were crying hysterically, holding yourself tightly as you tried to calm yourself down, a keep the oncoming panic attack down. God, you didn’t dare face Adam, you didn’t want to see the expression he wore, you were already ashamed, of the outburst, of yourself, everything and one of the only good things going in your life had heard you go off like a demented bitch. You wanted so badly to melt into the floor, but you were merely reduced to hiding behind closed eyes and a mess of tears.

Then arms wrapped around you and your face was pressed against a shoulder.

“I love you” Adam declared, tightening his hold as you began to wail against his shoulder, wrapping your arms around him tightly as you did so “I love you, and I’m so sorry that you had to keep this to yourself for so long”

He pressed a kiss against your forehead, being wary of the wound.

“I’m sorry” You sobbed, “I’m sorry I kept this from you, I didn’t want you to see me differently, you’re one of the only good things going in my life, I didn’t want to lose you”

“I would never see you differently and you will never lose me” He whispered, “You’re strong, you’re smart, you’re so talented and you’re hot”

You laughed wetly against his shoulder “This just proves to me how amazing you are, and how lucky I am to have you. You’re so amazing and I am punching above my weight with you. I’m so glad to have you in my life and that’s never gonna change, babe, do you understand?”

You nodded against his shoulder, burying your face and inhaling his scent.

“So here’s what we’re gonna do” He raked his hand gently through your hair “We’re gonna get you checked out and patched up, talk to Dr Charles about these thoughts you’ve been having, head home, then order in some Chinese and just relax, okay?”

“Okay,” You pulled back a bit, eyes staring into his before leaning up and pressing a kiss against his lips. He kissed back softly, hand coming to hold the side of your jaw gently then pulling away and smiling at you “I love you so much”

“I love you too”

“Thank you for not thinking different of me”

He laughed and placed his forehead against yours “Never”

You smiled and intertwined your fingers.

You were lucky to have each other.

#adam ruzek imagine #adam ruzek x reader #adam ruzek #chicago pd #chicago pd imagine #chicago pd x reader #Past Trauma #tw: abuse #tw: ptsd #tw: suicidal thoughts #tw: trauma #tw: graphic #kinda #tw: self hatred #tw: self blame

[runabout-river]

Chicago P.D. / Mayans M.C. crossover Part 2

(A Beta-reader would be apreciated :)

[Part 1]

Part 2

Only one thing was on his mind after quitting his job: getting out of Chicago. But Antonio couldn’t just leave his life behind like his police work, even though everything around him felt like it had shattered into thousand pieces. So he painfully worked through visiting his parents and Gabby and told them that he needed a time out, all while keeping a nonchalant façade. He nearly broke down when he said goodbye to Eva and Diego but kept it together till he was out the door.

He didn’t know where to go though, what to do. A few days after putting his badge down he got five calls from his former colleagues, three from Trudy and none from Hank. His former boss most likely withheld the news of his resignation while their case was still ongoing. But Antonio still ignored all of them in addition to the text messages he got simply because he just couldn’t deal with reading any of them. Not right now.

He vaguely caught on to the fact that Gabby started to play some kind of intermediary to the Unit, with Jay probably, but when asked about it she firmly stated that all she wants was an open conversation between him and the Intelligence Unit. Apparently she urged them to talk with him face to face because she knew something difficult was going on and maybe she could even guess what it was. But her pleas where obviously ignored because after a few days no one tried to call him or text him again let alone visit him. Those meagre attempts at contacting him stopped completely, abruptly and didn’t start again.

And Antonio was truly hurt by that. He didn’t believe for even a minute that anything could have been resolved after the way the Unit changed, but for a short while he hoped he could at least get something like closure between them and him. He was expecting Hank to come and to shout obscenities at his face for daring to leave without his permission. Maybe Jay would have tried to change his mind. Burgess at least would’ve tried to make excuses and Ruzek would’ve been adamant that what they did was right and that Antonio was actually in the wrong. Maybe Atwater and Olinsky might have tried to invite him to a drink. But nothing.

Nothing was resolved and every wound on Antonio’s psyche that had opened in the last year was left to bleed till he found the cure himself. His pills seemed to be the only thing that managed to fill those holes but they came at a high cost themselves. ‘Only a monetary cost’ Antonio tried to lie to himself.

In the end he forced himself to go as slow as possible and to not make huge and life changing decision on a whim and with barely a plan in sight (oh the irony!), because one of the things he started dreading now was something unfamiliar to him up until this point: the fear of humiliating himself in front of the Unit. His doctor had cut him off from his pills some time ago and now he went to the streets to get his next fill. What if they caught him in a drug bust and threw him into jail? Or what if he had trouble finding good work and went from being a highly decorated detective to what? A janitor? A construction worker? He couldn’t even imagine having a desk job but thinking about something like private security nearly made him throw up as well.

His hands would start to shake when he would think about anything related to his old job but his stomach would also turn by the thought of meeting them, his former friends, again. In the span of a week they started invading his dreams where they finally saw him for what he really was: an addict. A hypocrite. Someone who preached about the law and then turned to the next dealer to get his fix. When their mockery started the dreams turned into nightmares which he only awakened from in cold sweat and with his hand in his pill bottle.  

But he didn’t regret quitting his job, he just regretted how uncertain his life had become. From this point onward everything he did had the potential of ending in disaster and actually ruining his life for good. He needed control, so slow it was.

He went to Puerto Rico first to visit family. It was a simple and effective way to get out of Chicago with barely any chance of it backfiring on him, but he didn’t board his flight before not stocking up on his pills to the max. Finally there he managed to breathe a little but he didn’t get a pay check anymore and the knowledge of his limited funds made him anxious. Outside of his pills he still had to pay for everything else in his life.

And then finally a daughter of one of his aunts put a little light back into his life: a place to stay. She owned an apartment in a place close to the American-Mexican border in California. The fact that she didn’t bother to rent it out for a while and the way how adamant she was that he should stay there for a few months (“no rent, just pay the utilities”) in his endeavour to get away from Chicago, told him that town, Santo Padre, had a crime problem. Crime meant easily available drugs and the moment where Antonio accepted her offer felt like it was the lowest point in his life.

But the Oxy hadn’t actually been the cause of his problems in Chicago. Being a police officer was high-stress work. Being mistrusted by his own co-workers was also hitting him hard, and having his boss be constantly on his case for illegitimate and highly immoral reasons just made his job into the most hostile thing he had to deal with every day. Being in the Intelligence Unit in the last year was like getting his energy sucked dry every second day. He barely had anything left for his family and get-togethers with them turned from a relaxing reprieve into an additional chore he forced himself into week after week.

Antonio did not bend under all that pressure, he kept going by sheer force of will. Until he broke.

In the end his pills were the only thing that helped him through all that. And when all the stress factors in his life stayed in Chicago, and when he had basically rid himself of all of his responsibilities, then, as he told himself over and over again on the flight to California, then the pills would go away by themselves.

So he went to Santo Padre and settled down in his new apartment. The first thing he did there while sitting on a dusty couch no one had bothered to put a blanket on, was to search for the local doctor’s office. Getting some of his Oxy legally was crucial if he had to do some kind of cover up later on (hoping of course that the doctor would actually prescribe him some). It also opened up the limited amount of time before he had to get more than a morally conscious doctor would ever give to him. The rate that his pills disappeared at was higher than just two months ago. Pure denial helped him not to think about that.

But before he made an appointment he made a deal with himself to find work first. So for the next few days he went around town, checked out the bars and the restaurants and everything else of interest. There was a huge Mexican community here where he, as a Puerto Rican from Chicago, was actually the odd one out. And there was also the gang. The biker gang.      

The Mayans, as they called themselves, apparently insisted that they were just a motorcycle club, which Antonio called bullshit on. His instincts, common sense and of course the general attitude of the locals to that M.C. told him everything he needed to know about the role the Mayans played in the crime scene around this town and maybe even the whole region. He was not dumb enough to look for his drugs right where he lived but now he opted to look outside the Latin community as well just in case the bikers got wind of his addiction and started to get ideas.

Finally he found acceptable work at a bar where he went to a few times. Gabby was more than amused when he told her about it and she immediately promised him a barista contest when he came back. ‘If I come back’, were his secret thoughts on that matter. It was still too early to tell but if the things in Santo Padre were going as smoothly as they were right now, then it would take a while before he went back to Chicago.

Only Trudy tried to call him again in that time and Antonio knew that she deserved her call to be answered. So he called her back and they started talking but not about anything important. ‘What are you doing now? Where are you? How are you?” These were the things that filled most of their time though Antonio kept his whereabouts to himself. At the end he had just mustered up the nerve to ask about the Unit when Trudy herself brought the subject up. In a curious and expectant tone of voice she asked if he talked with Hank. No, was his answer, held short because he was a little dumbfounded on why she was so sure that such a conversation had taken place.

“He didn’t call you.” She did not say that in the form of a question. It was a statement made in a barely neutral tone but the underlying disappointment and anger was noticeable for everyone who knew Trudy as long as he did. The thought that Hank was supposed to call him managed to bring all the buried emotions Antonio had about his work, his Unit and his sergeant back to the surface. And those emotions were anything but pleasant.

Disgust at what had become of them. Horror at the things they were doing now. Frustration that he couldn’t stop them. Sadness that he failed.

Thinking about Hank specifically always pulled out another set from deep down his soul. But this time he pushed them away and hastily searched for an excuse to hang up. The next day when his phone rang he was confronted with an indescribable sense of disappointment when it was only Trudy’s name on the caller ID and not someone else’s. He immediately started ignoring her calls again.  

#antonio dawson #hak voight #trudy platt #mayans mc #chicago pd #crossover #headcanon #drug abuse #addiction #one chicago

[ramajmedia]

Chicago P.D.: 5 Things That Are Accurate (& 5 Things That Are Fictional)

A spinoff from the popular Chicago Fire TV show, Chicago P.D. focuses on a police intelligence unit run by Detective Sergeant Henry “Hank” Voight.  Introduced as a dirty cop in Chicago Fire, he uses the same morally questionable methods to catch criminals and other more corrupt cops which the other members of his unit practice as well.

For this reason, the Chicago P.D. series has been heavily criticized for its inaccuracies about police work in general.  Yet there are grains of truth buried underneath, which are explored further below alongside the aspects of this show that aren’t true.

RELATED: LAW & ORDER: SVU - 5 THINGS THAT ARE ACCURATE (& 5 THINGS THAT ARE FICTION)

10 Accurate - Racial Tensions Between White Cops And Ethnic Minorities Is An Existing Problem

 With Season 5 of Chicago P.D., a stronger attempt was made by the show to replicate what was going on in the real world regarding policemen.  For instance, the premier episode had a scene where a member of Voight’s unit named Adam Ruzek (who’s white) draws a gun on a young black man but gets defused by Kevin Atwater (the only black guy in Voight’s unit).

In recent years, it has come to the public’s attention that racial tensions between white cops and members of an ethnic minority still happens in places like Chicago which have a long history of gang violence and police corruption.  This wasn’t further helped by a report that came out from the US Department of Justice in 2017 which criticized several things about the CPD including using “Force against black Chicagoans 10 times more frequently than their white counterparts,” The Atlantic magazine states.

9 Fictional - Cops Have The Authority To Deny A Lawyer To Their Suspect

Despite Chicago P.D.’s attempts at being realistic, it still resorts to common cliches found in other police detective shows like denying a lawyer to an unscrupulous suspect or criminal when they request one.  Legally, this is problematic in reality as any suspect in a crime has the right to speak to a lawyer if they request one, even before they give testimony to the police, and therefore denying them could be considered a rights violation.

Though in the state of Arizona, “A defendant does not have the right to delay the investigation by demanding to speak to a lawyer and if an attorney cannot be reached at the time being, the investigative procedures may be initiated” when it comes to DUI offense cases according to a Phoenix DUI Lawyer.  The reason for this is that if the investigation takes too long, then whatever drug or alcohol may be affecting the suspect will lose its influence thus making it harder to determine their guilt.  But this does not apply to criminal cases like the ones in the Chicago P.D..

RELATED: 10 MUST-SEE SHOWS FOR FANS OF TRUE DETECTIVE

8 Accurate - Cops Do Get Involved In Fatal Shootouts

Being known for its action-packed sequences, Chicago P.D. will occasionally thrust its characters into a crazy shootout that results in people getting hurt or even killed.  Though the frequency of these shootouts in the series is questionable, that doesn’t mean cops don’t get involved in them.

Within a city like Chicago, for instance, the number of shootings per year is incredibly high on average.  But according to a recent report by the actual Chicago Police Department on WTTV Chicago Public Media, “There have been 978 shootings through the first six months of the year…marking an 11% drop over 2018” which isn’t much of a change overall.

7 Fictional - Police Intelligence Units Get A Lot Of Action

It seems like Voight’s unit can never catch a break on Chicago P.D. as almost every day of the week they’re out busting criminals and investigating crime scenes with the occasional shootouts.  But contrary to what the show displays, a real police intelligence unit doesn’t do much in terms of action.

What they primarily do is gather information on possible criminals and hand it over to different agencies whether they’re local state or federal authorities.  They may investigate crime scenes for clues, interview witnesses, or obtain search warrants, but they don’t make arrests or prove crimes.

RELATED: THE 10 MOST BADASS MOVIE COMBAT UNITS

6 Accurate - Accidentally Fatal Shootings Do Happen With The Police

Because the characters in Chicago P.D. are morally flawed, the show will go out of its way to either justify their actions or put them in a situation that makes them seem sympathetic.  In the Season 5 premier episode “Reform,” for instance, one of Voight’s unit members named Jay Halstead accidentally shoots a young girl during a shootout with some gunrunners.

While this could be interpreted as a cheap way to make us feel sorry for Jay, who didn’t mean to shoot the girl, it does happen to cops in the real world.  In 2015, a woman named Bettie Jones was fatally shot by a CPD cop by accident along with a man who was causing a domestic disturbance according to the Chicago Sun-Times newspaper.

5 Fictional - Handcuffed Suspects Can Be Freely Assaulted By Cops

It is common to see handcuffed suspects getting assaulted by cops in movies like L.A. Confidential or TV shows such as Chicago P.D., but generally this is not how suspects are treated once they’ve been brought into custody.  While they may be considered dangerous, due to the possibility of concealing a weapon or resisting arrest, that doesn’t mean policemen can wail on them like free punching bags.

However, there have been instances where cops have assaulted handcuffed suspects even to this day, but they typically don’t get away with it.  Instead, they get charged with misdemeanor and/or assault and are ordered to leave the department.

RELATED: CHICAGO PD: 10 FAN FAVORITE CHARACTERS, RANKED

4 Accurate - People With Questionable Backgrounds Have Been Put In Charge Of Overseeing The CPD

In the fifth season of Chicago P.D., a new character was introduced named Denny Woods.  An independent auditor hired to oversee the CPD, he exploits his power to get back at Voight (whom he was partners with as a former cop) for a prior event.

Now it may seem unbelievable that someone with a questionable background could be given the responsibility of overseeing a police department in the real world, but it does happen.  For instance, a former federal prosecutor was put in charge of Chicago’s Police Accountability Task Force a few years ago and this was met with some controversy following “Distortions of her record” according to the Chicago Reporter.

3 Fictional - Desk Sergeants Have A Lot Of Authority

Aside from Voight, another character that made an official debut in Chicago Fire before appearing in Chicago P.D. was Trudy Platt.  A Desk Sergeant for the Chicago Police Department, in general, she supervises patrol officers like Kim Burgess and Sean Roman while occasionally interacting with Voight’s unit.

Now while she does live up to her title in terms of primarily working at a desk, Platt’s authority isn’t as significant as the show makes it seem like.  In reality, a Desk Sergeant (or Desk Officer) receives information about incoming incidents and then dispatches it to patrols. So Platt wouldn’t necessarily be tasked with supervising other officers, as this would mainly be the Police Sergeant’s duty which is a different position altogether.

Related: Chicago PD: Best & Worst Relationships, Ranked

2 Accurate - Cops Have Been Known To Torture Criminals In Certain Cases

One of the main criticisms aimed at Chicago P.D. is that almost every criminal Voight’s team takes into custody gets tortured in some form whether it’s physically or psychologically.  Now this kind of behavior is ethically inexcusable, especially for a cop to commit since it violates certain rights the perceived criminal has whether they committed the crimes they’re accused of or not.

While such tactics are frowned upon by just about every police department in the world, there were cases where cops did torture perceived criminals regardless of their innocence.  Recently, a digital archive was released that documented incidents between 1972 and 1991 where CPD “Officers performed torture” on people they arrested as stated by The Atlantic.

1 Fictional - Physical And Psychological Torture Is Always Used By Cops To Get Information From Suspects

 When it comes to interrogating a suspect of a crime, the police will use different methods to get the information they want out of them.  However, they will not resort to things like torture either in the physical or psychological form as conducted by Voight’s unit in the Chicago P.D. show.

Though cases of police torture have come to light, it’s not an approved method for conducting an interrogation.  At most, a cop will intimidate a suspect using the “Good Cop, Bad Cop” technique but they typically won’t resort to using physical violence or blackmail for the sake of getting a confession.

NEXT: ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK: 5 WORST THINGS PIPER DID IN SEASON 7 (AND 5 TIMES WE REALLY FELT FOR HER

source https://screenrant.com/chicago-p-d-5-things-accurate-5-things-fictional/

#screenrant

[voightsgirl]

Your Voight post made me think, and I think CPD doesn't get enough appreciation re: how they seem to effortlessly go against a lot of toxic masculinity. Like, there's been any issues with the guys crying or expressing their love for each other, and it's never made into a joke or followed with a no homo reaction or smthn like that and idk I guess I really appreciate the male friendships in CPD. Even the rest of the franchise doesn't do so well as this imo (not counting justice bc it's still new)

You know I started replying to this and then I realised that I’ve never really thought about the male characters in that much depth…I’m the first to sing about how amazing Erin and Burgess are, as well as male characters individually, but when I really thought about how well the men have been created, I ended up with an entire essay so apologies it’s so long but I just love this show and these guys. Also since there’s been a lot of negativity in light of *cough* recent events, I thought it would be nice to show my appreciation, so here goes. Feel free to add examples/contradictions/points/other ideas etc!!

Something I need to say before beginning: I find it really, really difficult to empathise with male characters. It’s just harder for me to really relate to their issues. And I think a huge reason for this is just that being a female character in these shows and these professions is just harder. And therefore there are a certain amount of fundamental difficulties that each female character has to face, and since being a female in general involves a lot of these struggles, it’s much easier for other women to look at these characters and see themselves in them. Look at Erin and Burgess struggling to keep their hard work and intelligence a more valuable feature to their unit than their bodies. Look at April and Maggie trying not to be undermined by their male, more qualified co-workers - and Manning being a single, working mum. Look at Gabby beating the odds and becoming a firefighter even though no one thinks she can do it because she’s small and female.

And I love that this show can do that: take these vital professions and give them amazing, well developed, multifaceted female characters whose constant struggles are so relatable for any female watching because we’ve all been there.

But what PD does that I just don’t see so much in the others (Fire does it to an extent, but I can’t really think of any examples in Med - although it’s my least favourite and so I’m probably not the best person to make analyses based on it, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong) is do the same with the males. And it’s something that I have never seen on a TV show before. There’s no “no-homo” bullshit, there’s no reservations around being friends. They hug each other when they’re worried about them, they do the friendly shoulder squeezes and arm-punches and fist-bumps. They go out for drinks together. They trust each other and look out for each other and they talk to each other about how they feel. And it’s really, really nice to see.

People go the extra mile when writing female characters (although admittedly, as a teenage girl I’m probably not using the widest sample range of TV shows) because they know that either a) their audience is mostly female, or b) they’re worried about sexist accusations. Women have always been victims of horrible media tropes, so I’m so, so glad that they do go this extra mile - I love seeing female friendships more than anything else in the world - but because people are so aware of the issue surrounding female characters, they’ve taken that into consideration, while assuming that there isn’t actually a problem with their male characters.

What Chicago PD does that I think is incredible from a characterisation point of view is they take these archetypal cop characters - the dirty cop (Voight), the by-the-book cop (Antonio), the shell-shocked veteran cop (Halstead), the old-cop young cop (Ruzek and Ollinsky) and the gentle giant (Attwater). **there are more, such as Attwater arguably being the “token minority” and Ruzek being the “fair cop” but you get the idea. They all seem to represent one of the main tropes that are almost always present in cop shows (at least all the ones I’ve watched).

And the show doesn’t subvert the tropes, not exactly - even though doing so would be so much easier - but they three-dimensialise (idk if that’s a word just roll with me here) all the characters on top of these fundamental archetypes. ie:

Voight is a dirty cop. He kills people in the name of justice, he’s used dirty money and lied under oath and done things that probably should have lost him his badge a million times. And yet, he works tirelessly for the protection of his city. He loves his son with everything he has, and his grandson, and his daughter-in-law. He took in a 13(?) year old who’d been hooked on heroin and arrested for solicitation and loves her like she’s his own daughter. He made amends with the guy who put his son in jail. He always, always fights for the underdog and doesn’t let the system take advantage of them. He treats his unit as if they are his “family” - literally his words - and he has formed relationships with every single one of them, bending the rules and putting his neck and badge on the line if they ever do anything wrong or against the rules. (Example: 3x05)

Antonio plays by the rules, that’s just who he is. He believes in the system more than Voight does, arguably because he’s always been on the right side of it. But that doesn’t mean he’s not willing to make compromises if those he really cares about are on the line - he is more than willing to turn a blind eye to other people’s ‘interpretations’ of the law, and he will do everything in his power to fight his way using the rules of the system before he breaks them. (1x02, 3x01)

Halstead’s military history I think is one of the most interesting aspects of this show because he had the potential to turn into a “cold sniper” as I think is the norm with ex-military characters, and yeah, he was affected in ways that we don’t even know - and may never fully understand - by what he saw and did in his tour(s). But he’s so selfless and sweet and supportive. His PTSD and general commitment issues mean that he can’t open up to everyone but he still lets them open up to him, being Erin’s #1 supporter, and he’s finally started to work on looking after his mental health properly and learning how to ask for help. He’s kind and caring and understands the importance of sacrifice and, like Voight, is willing to bend the rules a little bit - even if he’s always there to question Voight’s methods. (3x17, 4x18 - deleted scene)

Ruzek is the token rookie of the show, and the audience is placed in the same boat as him when initially learning the ropes of the unit and how everyone fits. He’s the young and attractive one (I mean….), and he does exhibit those typical rookie traits: he’s rash and reckless and cocky and definitely not as cynical as any of the others, but at the same time he has a huge heart, he’s sweet and caring, and he can be as tough as hell when someone he loves is in danger. He doesn’t have the “tortured romantic” side to him and he has a typical cop family tree, but he’s the person I feel like most people can probably relate to - someone who puts themselves in harm’s way every single day for no reason other than he wants to make a difference. (1x01, 1x11)

Ollinsky is the other dirty cop, although he functions more as an assistant to the dirty cop. He has the tough coldness about him that you would probably expect Jay to have instead, if following these tropes by the book, and he comes across as very sinister and quite scary. And yet he is an absolute darling around Lexi and Michelle and when Lexi died and Meredith was kidnapped, he totally lost control. Despite all the coldness and being closed-off he is perhaps the most emotional of them all, grieving and crying and not caring about how tough he is when someone he loves is threatened. (4x16)

Attwater is the gentle giant of the show and although this doesn’t need much more explaining, he, alongside Erin, is also the token minority of the unit (even more so now that Antonio’s left and Burgess has joined Erin in Intelligence) and although this trope is constantly seen as a bad thing, using a token character to avoid criticism of being racist in casting choices, in PD Attwater opens the door to addressing cases of police racism, corruption and brutality against ethnic minorities, and the episodes in which they do deal with this, Attwater is quick to express his opinion on the matter and challenge within seconds everything that’s wrong with the institution and their society. But on top of all that, he has relatives in prison, he’s expected to be a big tough “scary black man”, but in actuality he looks after his two younger siblings and does stand-up comedy and probably gives the best bear hugs ever.

And the support system that these six men have together (or five, now that Antonio’s left) is incredible to watch. They understand barriers, they know when to push and when to give each other space, they all work together so well in such a potentially toxic environment without even a hint at this hyper-masculinity that is so huge in other cop shows. They’re all just bros.

What’s also great is that even though there’s a lil bit of that bro-masculine culture especially when Erin goes undercover and dresses up all nice, they’re never anything but perfect gentlemen. There’s no teasing and no sexist remarks about her legs or whatever, they all just seem genuinely impressed by how pretty she looks and how well she does her job. Adam even says things like “there’s about a thousand things I could say right now but won’t” because they all respect Erin and Burgess and support them as much as each they do each other. They don’t care if the women do better jobs than them, or save them, or shoot more accurately than them, and they’d never dream of undermining their femininity while doing so.

Other examples of the bros being bros:

Antonio getting Jay into the unit in the first place as a thank you for helping out Gabby (Chicago Fire, season 2 sometime, mentioned later when Antonio leaves)

Voight literally crying on Alvin’s shoulder after Justin’s death

Every single one of Jay and Mouse’s interactions, especially when they talk about their time in the military and Jay realises how much he cares about his friend when Mouse wants to re-enlist and when Mouse is taken hostage (4x05, 3x03)

Antonio and Voight’s entire friendship and the fact that Voight would go to such measures to help Diego even after Antonio was the one to put the cuffs on and send him to jail

Attwater and Ruzek being bros until the end and *sniff* the whole best man thing 

They all buy Antonio a zimmer frame when he gets shot isn’t that just beautiful

Ruzek hugging Al after Lexi’s death and his little “I don’t know what to say” and “can I hug you?” - like he knows Al might just want space but he has to let him know he’s there for him

They all get so upset when Jay is taken. Just watch the scene where they see the video of his torture and their faces break me. They can’t handle the idea that someone so close to them - their brother - is in so much pain. (3x01)

Seriously tho just look at these bros

So I was just gonna write a few paragraphs and sorry this is so long but feel free to add more!! I want to know what everyone else thinks!

#meta #cpd meta #jay halstead #hank voight #ruzek #antonio dawson #cpd #cpd appreciation #cpd positivity #asks #anon #my meta

[couchpotatowatches]

🚨Chicago PD Asks🚨

(Source: @sylviesunshine) 1. Favorite moment of season 8?

Kim adopting Makayla/their scenes together, Burzek, Kevin standing up for what he knows is right. 2. Hailey Upton or Kim Burgess?

I like both! But I feel like I relate to Kim a little more. 3. Favorite episode in the entire series?

I really like 3x10 "Shouldn't Have Been Alone" because of the Burzek moments, 3x15 "What Do You Do" because it shows the beginning of Kim really becoming badass. Also, the most recent season finale (8x16) because everyone did such a great job! 4. Jay Halstead or Adam Ruzek?

I like both but I think Adam has the edge for me. 5. Funniest moment?

All of Platt's one-liners, the tasing certification, Kevin's jokes/sense of humor, and when the team was teasing Platt while celebrating her time of the force. ( 6x05 I believe?) 6. Will Mouse ever return from war?

I definitely hope so! 7. Trudy Platt or Hank Voight?

Trudy! Hank loves his unit and tries to do good by them, but he's too rough/harsh sometimes and goes off-book way too much. 8. What’s one friendship you wish we saw more of?

Jay & Kevin, Hailey & Kim, Jay & Kim. 9. Most hated character in the series?

Brian Kelton 10. Kevin Atwater or Erin Lindsay?

Kevin Atwater! 11. Which of Trudy Platt’s children do you think she loves most?

Kim & Kevin for sure. She's watched them grow from parol officers to Intelligence Officers. Definitely has the biggest soft spot for them, though she loves all of her children. 12. Most loved character?

Kim and Kevin 13. Least favorite plotline/storyline to happen?

Kim's relationship with Sean, Adam and Hailey's relationship, killing off Al 14. Best partnership duo?

Kevin and Kim! My favorite OG patrol pair/friendship from the show. Also, Jay and Hailey make great partners even before getting together. 15. Most underrated character?

Kevin! Kev needs more screentime and they need to give him a break. Give me happy storylines! 16. The moment that shocked you the most?

When Kevin and Kim found that little boy in the basement, Kim getting shot (both times), and Al & Nadia's deaths. 17. Antonio Dawson or Alvin Olinsky?

I like both for different reasons! Can't choose. 18. A character you wish we knew their backstory better?

I want to know more about Kim's previous job and her parents. Like what was life like before she became a police officer. Maybe see more of Hailey's family members and a little more about Jay other than what we know about his time fighting in the war. 19. Favorite relationship?

Kim and Adam! #Burzek. (Hailey & Jay are cute, too.) And even though it was short-lived and not really official I liked Kevin and Vanessa together.

20. What’s the moment that made you fall in love with the show?

The pilot episode! It intrigued me to check out the rest of the series. (I didn't start watching it when it first aired). I loved the dynamic between all of the characters and how they interacted with each other. Everyone knew everyone, at least to some degree. Plus storylines and plot twists keep you on the edge of your seat. 21. The character that deserves(d) better the most?

Kevin, Kim, Makayla, Hailey

22. Least favorite episode?

2x14 the episode where they introduce Bunny. I never really liked her as a character and it sucked what she put Erin through. 23. If you could bring back one character, dead or alive, who would it be?

Definitely Al and Nadia. Vanessa Rojas, too. 24. What’s something you don’t want to see happen in season 9?

I don't want to see Hailey getting in trouble for shooting Roy. The whole thing is so similar to the Bingham situation, I don't want Hailey to get burned by the whole thing. 25. What is the thing you want to see happen in season 9 the most?

The team being there for Kim in the hospital/during recovery, Burzek reunion, Makayla interacting more with the team, the team hanging out more like they did in the first seasons, and Kevin getting more screentime/happy plot lines (love interest, promotion, etc)

#I only included main characters/ships that I think are relevant sorry if you think there’s stuff missing I didn’t want to make it too long

[munchkinxcop-blog]

Adam Ruzek

It had been a typical day for the Chicago police officer. Adam had woken up before the sun rose, gotten a quick shower and made his way to the diner to grab a quick breakfast. Lexis’ shift wasn’t starting for a few more hours so he knew he’d catch up with the beautiful girl later in the day. Finishing up his food, he made his way into the precinct, going to his locker. He was exhausted, sleep was a rare thing for him anymore and when he did it was no more than a few hours. Thankfully he was getting back into the swing of things now that life was calming down.

Walking into the bullpen, the young male looked around a bit confused. “Anyone here?” he asked before making his way to the coffee pot. Pouring a cup, he took a sip and looked to Voight’s office, the male looking over a case file. Adam shrugged his shoulders and made his way over to his desk, sitting back. Everyone had given him hell about him and Burgess but now that relationship was over and he was honestly glad. She was a great girl but they didn’t connect on a romantic level that Adam needed. He took time to himself, finding who he was and before long he had been introduced to Shay’s little sister: Lexis and she made his life better than he couldn’t imagined.

As the rest of the team made their way in, Voight came out and posted a picture to the board. “This is Miguel Rodriguez and he’s our target. He’s wanted for smuggling cocaine in from Florida from family who came in from Cuba,” he started. “He’s vicious; he won’t go down without a fight. Suit up and let’s go,” he told them and made his way to get up. Adam made his way with the rest of the team, suiting up and took a deep breath before they were on the roll.

-------------------------------------------------- 20 minutes later ---------------------------------------

Shots were fired, left and right. Miguel’s gang was shooting at the unit, the unit shooting back at them and taking down man after man. Adam ran from behind his cover, shooting at Miguel before falling to the ground. He had been hit. One shot to the chest, blocked by his Kevlar vest and one to the arm. He looked as Miguel dropped to the ground, shot in the abdomen. The young male groaned as he held to his arm and lay on his back, trying to catch his breath. Adam’s eyes closed instantly as he tried to calm himself. He could hear Olinsky calling for an ambulance and before he knew it Dawson was loading him up. Voight looked. “Erin, go with him. Keep me updated,” he told the young girl as they ran to Miguel and started to get help on him before cuffing him to the gurney.

Adam laid on the gurney as he was put into the ambulance. He looked over at the young girl and chuckled. “You know you don’t need to come. It’s a shot to my arm, I’m not dying” he told her and laid his head back. “Call Lexis for me, tell her that I’m fine,” he said as he slid his phone into Erin’s hand and tried to pull his vest off, groaning as the wound bled more. “Sh*t,” he grumbled softly as he laid there in frustration.

Erin Lindsay

Coming into the office, Erin found the silence she was accustomed to.  For the last year, Erin had consistently been the first in the office, always being the one to start the first pot of fake-coffee, and sitting at her desk like a Walmart greeter to every detective and officer that would walk past her desk in the morning.  But on the morning in question, boyfriend antics had her ten minutes behind, but only because she couldn’t resist his incredible dimples.  As she dropped her things on her desk, she made a beeline for the breakroom, tossing the to go cup that she always brought in from home, and setting up the coffee pot for the rest of the unit that would be soon arriving.  Erin liked being at least a half hour early, but today, she might have been there ten.  Exchanging the to-go cup for her mug that rested upside down on the drying rack, she filled it and took it back to her desk, setting it to the surface and made her way into the locker room.  

During this time, several members of the unit arrived, ungreeted by Erin.  It wasn’t for a few minutes before she emerged from the locker room and saw Adam, nodding her head in good morning to him, only a short flash of her trademark half-smile to her lips.  Returning to her desk, files were piled to the corner, post it notes galore, and the pen quickly scribbling in her hand.  E. Lindsay.  E. Lindsay.  How many times in ten minutes could she sign her name?  The answer was over one hundred, easily.  Attention was immediately drawn from the files to the board as Voight called the attention of everyone in the room.  The words that most of the unit despised in some way, shape or form.  Suit up.  Sighing, Erin lifted from her seat and pulled the vest over her body, strapping the form to herself as she looked over at her partner, CJ Luciano.  They had an equal resentment for the vest, but it was a necessary evil none of them could live without.

20 minutes later

Shots were fired in multiple directions, like flashes of lightening with no way of knowing where they would land.  Adrenaline was running on high as the team attempted to surround the Rodriguez compound, infiltrate and take down the ones that would make it out alive.  “Officer down!” Erin heard from twenty feet away, bringing her to jolt her head to the right to see Adam laid out on the ground just a few feet from her.  She got the unspoken nod from her partner, relating to her that he had it, to go.  Erin raced to Adam’s side, dropping beside him as she tugged at the Kevlar.  “Damn thing saved ya,” she gave him a smile, nodding her head as Olinsky called for an ambo.  Noticing the shot to his arm, she didn’t mention it, though she was sure Adam could feel it.

The order coming from Voight received a nod from Erin as Adam was put to a gurney.  Moments later, she climbed into the back of the ambo with Adam, instantly being brought back to the ride in the back of the ambulance with Jules.  Shaking the thought from her mind, she tried to keep herself focused on that the situation was completely different, which was aided in Adam’s words to her.  Taking his phone from him, she nodded as Dawson climbed into the back of the ambulance with Erin and Adam.  “Yeah, we’ll see about that,” she teased at his remark about not dying, then gave a genuine smile.  “I’ll call her.  It’s all good.”  Gabby started talking to Adam as Erin pressed the button to call Lexis, leaving her a voicemail.  “Hey, it’s Erin on Adam’s phone.  He took a hit to the arm today, but he’s fine, so if you want to meet us, just call back on either Adam’s phone or you should have my number and can call me there.  But trust me, he’s fine and we’re on our way to the hospital now.”  She assured as she hung up the call, slipping the phone back to Adam’s hand.  “Voicemail,” she told him, as if he couldn’t have figured it out on his own.  Her eyes went to Dawson’s hands that were hard at work to stop the bleeding to Adam’s arm.  “What’s this, third hit to your Kevlar in the last few months?  Are you wearing a target or something?”

Adam Ruzek

Adam groaned as Gabby made her way into the back of the ambo. She cut the sleeve of his shirt, putting gauze on the wound to keep pressure on it. “Ow, that hurts,” he growled and Gabby laughed softly, shaking her head. “Did you expect it to tickle, Adam?” she asked and put his arm in a sling, sitting him up as she looked at Erin and smirked. “Or is it the ego men take of ‘I’m a guy, I can’t be killed’ type of thing?” she asked the female officer which caused Adam to roll his eyes in reply. “It’s not like that….” He muttered softly and sighed.

As Erin called his girlfriend, he smiled weakly as he listened to her speak. She had gotten voicemail. It wasn’t unusual really because Lexis rarely checked her phone until she had a spare minute. Adam had run early that morning, allowing her to get in some extra sleep. He knew if he had stayed he was sure they both would’ve called out. As looked at the blood, he groaned. “I’m going to hurl….”he whispered as Gabby got him a bucket, causing to be quite useful for the male. As he heard Erin, he wiped his mouth on the napkin provided by Gabby. “Thanks,” he whispered and looked over at his teammate. “I’m not wearing a target. At least I didn’t think so. Starting to make me question my career choice….”he mumbled softly.

As they arrived at the hospital, Adam got out slowly and walked in with Gabby. “Shot to the chest, Kevlar protected. Shot to the arm. One in, one graze,” she told them and handed off the chart before patting his back and heading out. Adam walked over, setting the bucket down and climbed up on the gurney as the doctor began taking the sling and gauze off, starting to numb the area. “Just relax, we’ll have you done in no time,” he told the officer, Adam nodding in reply. He looked up at Erin and sighed gently. “I want to talk to you about something. Something I trust your opinion on and need your advice,” he told her and bit his lip as the doctor began removing the bullet.

Erin wasn’t just a teammate. Truthfully she was like a sister to Ruzek. Sure, she wasn’t blood but that didn’t mean anything. They fought like siblings, cared for one another and he’d take a bullet for her. Something had been on his mind lately and he truly wanted her opinion on it. Of course she was a girl so it helped but he also had wanted her advice on the situation at hand as well as some other things since he wasn’t the best when it came to relationships, his track record proved that.

Erin Lindsay

”Such a baby,” Erin commented to herself as he complained of the pain, though she was only teasing.  She had been fortunate, having never taken a hit, and she was well aware of her fortune.  Though she gave him shit, it was not enjoyable to watch her co-worker and friend lay in the back of an ambulance in pain, so humor would be her resort to attempt to keep herself from revealing true feelings, as she was notorious for hiding.  The rest of the ambo ride was short, resulting in safe arrival to the hospital where they would walk in together.  “Thanks, Gabby,” Erin spoke evenly to her, though the once good friends were far more distant these days, Erin still appreciated her professionally.

”You need my advice while they stitch you up?” She asked with a grin, shaking her head.  Erin was always truly amazed at Adam Ruzek’s personality.  He was balls to the wall, all the way, leaving no one to guess what they would get next from him.  He was Al’s gem in Erin’s opinion, being one of the best to ever be brought into Intelligence.  Erin was personally thankful for Al’s great find at the academy, considering Adam  had quickly become someone Erin could show some of her true self to, even if she did still have skeletons that had to stay locked away in her mind.

”Shoot.”  She replied, telling him to go ahead and ask away, though the word seemed to hold a joke of its own in the moment, considering what it was Adam was going through at the moment.  “Okay, that was accidental,” she confessed, shaking her head with a laugh as she glanced over at the doctor’s hands to Adam.  “For real though, what do you need from me?  You need me to call someone, go do something, I’m literally at your disposal until you are discharged.  Voight’s orders.”  She smiled, giving him a wink of her eye as she took a seat on the small chair that sat beside the temporary bed he laid against.

Adam Ruzek

Adam had a high pain tolerance. When it came to a bullet being lodged into his arm, that all changed. He laid his head back, staring at the ceiling. Hearing Erin, he smirked and flipped her off playfully with a chuckle. “Ass,” he muttered to her softly. Once there, he was grateful to be getting treatment, knowing he’d have relief soon. It was who he was, put on a tough act in front of the team but once they weren’t around, he just let his wall down for a bit to get his emotions out of his system and have a clear mind with a fresh start.

“Yes, I need your advice. I don’t know who else I can go to that I’d be comfortable with,” he said with a shrug. Adam knew deep down what everyone thought. He kept them on their toes and he enjoyed it. Truthfully, he didn’t want people knowing his next move because he knew they could then predict any move after that. Once he had been brought into Intelligence, Adam had quickly taken to becoming friends with Erin. He was thankful for the opportunity and found someone he could so his real self to without judgment and he appreciated it. Sure, he had skeletons even she didn’t know about but the ones she did she helped with.

“Oh, real funny Erin,” He grumbled and could see the smirk on her face before hearing the laugh. Rolling his eyes, he let out a chuckle and groaned as the bullet was pulled from the wound, watching the doctor drop it into the pan. Cling. It hit the metal and it sat there before Adam’s eyes looked back up. “Nothing like that and don’t think of yourself like that. You’re more to me than that,” he started and sighed. Taking a deep breath, he bit his lip. “You know Shay’s baby sister? Lexis, one from the FBI they brought into Intelligence for us?” he asked.

He knew Erin knew her, they worked together. Difference was he didn’t know the secret they held. Sure, the two were friends and last anyone heard she was dating Jeff before the pair broke up. Since then no one knew Lexis had been dating, except Adam and herself. He was about to let Erin in on his biggest secret. One he knew he could regret if Voight had found out, especially with him and the young woman so close. It was a leap he had to take. She was his best friend, in a way like a sister to him and he needed her now more than ever.

Erin Lindsay

Ass.  A name that she used for her partner was now being thrown to her.  Nice.  She shook her head as his insult was not the term of endearment she held it as for CJ Luciano.  Her nod would indicate her words of ‘yeah, yeah’ though she did not part her lips to speak.  It was obvious to Erin that Adam had something on his mind, though she could not know what it was as of yet.  She figured it was probably something ridiculous, some joke that he had the perfect lead up into, but she couldn’t have been farther from right. Tilting her head to the side as he complimented her humor, she gave a small nod, as if to say thank you before her eyes drifted to what the doctor was doing.  The sound of the shell hitting the metal pan, not followed by the doctor calling off that anything major had been hit, was a relief to Erin as she had seen one too many times something go wrong in the removal of a bullet and finding damage that ran much deeper than anticipated.  After the bullet was out, and Adam was talking again, she brought her eyes back to his. The instant Adam started talking about Lexis, Erin’s eyes lit up.  She did know the girl, not very well though.  Erin wasn’t much of the get-to-know-you type and tended to be a little more oh-you-are-here-okay type, but she was aware of the girl in question.  In seconds, Adam’s face gave away the things his words had yet to let on.  CJ had been convinced he was still screwing around with Kim, but this, this was good.  “Mhm, I know her.”  She commented, her smirk to her lips making it more than obvious that Erin’s skills were sharp as ever as she drew her own conclusion to his words. ”So how long have you two….” Erin let her words trail off, indicating without saying such that she knew there was something between them.  She hadn’t noticed before, which she would reassure Adam of soon enough, but she knew now.  She shook her head, knowing what risk the two were taking, only because she was doing the very same thing, though could absolutely not tell anyone within the unit until such a time they would make it public knowledge, which she already knew would either involve her leaving the unit, or CJ leaving the unit.  A day that she both looked forward to and dreaded all at the very same time.

Adam Ruzek

When it came to Erin, the two always joked with nicknames. He looked over at her as she shook her head. "Sorry," he muttered softly. It looked like he had struck a nerve when calling her that. Biting his lip, he shrugged gently and looked down at his hands. Everything was flooding his mind at once. So much he didn't even notice the doctor working on his arm. He was so lost in thought that he almost tuned out completely. As he heard the bullet hit the metal pan, he looked up out of his thoughts. Seeing the doctor cleaning the wound, he turned his attention back to Erin. It was nice of her to be there, she didn't have to. If the injury had been more serious, he would've understood but this was barely nothing. Smiling some, he looked up and took a deep breath, shaking his head as he tried not to ramble. Of course Erin knew her, idiot. He thought to himself. They were a team, kind of hard not to know your co-workers. He swore he wasn't bright sometimes and he knew it was something people pointed out. Looking up at her, he chuckled softly. "Course, she's on our team. Silly me," he told her and shrugged his shoulders gently, looking as the doctor began to stitch him up. "This will be a nice scar," he muttered softly. Typical Adam, jumping back and forth between different topics. It was like he was on a sugar rush or a toddler but it was who he was. Hearing Erin, his head shot up. "We haven't! well I mean..." Adam said and sighed softly, covering his eyes. "Don't say anything, please?" he pleaded before looking to her. Adam and Lexis kept their relationship hidden from everyone. Sure they stole glances, kissed every so often in the break room but they were cautious. Looking to her, he sighed softly. "Since April, when Kim and I called it quits. I got with Kim cause I couldn't be with Lexis. She was with stupid Jeff Clarke." he muttered and shook his head, clenching his fist at the name. Taking a deep breath, he relaxed and looked up. "Look, Erin, I love her. Like I thought I loved Wendy but this love...it's real" he started as he looked to the female across from her. "She means so damn much to me and I can't lose her," He explained, his eyes soft as he spoke. "I want propose but I want to surprise her, do it romantically," he said and bit his lip. "can you help me?" he asked her. When it came to Lexis, Adam always wanted to pull out the stops. She was his girl and she deserved the best and he was going to give her that. He came to Erin because he knew that he could trust her to keep the secret but also give him advice.

Erin Lindsay

The idea that two people within the unit were seeing one another, and in love, was not a foreign concept to Erin, though she had to keep her lips sealed.  She wanted to grab his hand and exclaim her own excitement, sharing with someone who actually knew CJ, though she could not risk it, not after Voight’s very clear warnings.  She knew the day it came out to any person on their team would be the day that either CJ or herself would receive their walking papers to another district and it just wasn’t something she was willing to risk yet.

Before CJ came to intelligence, Erin did not have a partner, nor did she want one.  Halstead had been considered to team up with her, but Voight had put a stop to it quickly.  Then came CJ.  Erin went to Voight, telling him she didn’t need a partner.  She was fine without one, teaming up with Antonio on most cases but without the formal commitment.  Voight refused her and put her in an unlikely and frustrating partner with CJ Luciano, which went through about four months of advances, flirtation and out right smack talk until the day that she finally let her guard down, just long enough…

Snapping out of her own thoughts, she heard him say that he loved Lexis and couldn’t help but melt a little, as if she were listening to CJ confess these same things about her.  Something about CJ turned her into a complete girl, someone that no one in the intelligence division would recognize.  As he went on, the expression to Erin’s face showed that she was all in.  The words would have affected most anyone, though they were getting to Erin a bit more than they should have.  The only saving grace, it was rumored that Erin was seeing someone, though she kept it very private, so maybe it wouldn’t come as such a surprise that she was literally looking at Adam with starry eyes, not believing that the things he was saying were things she hoped that one day, maybe.

”You realize you are asking the least romantic person in the world to help you, right?”  She smiled her trademark half smile, nodding her head as she kept her eyes locked to his.  “You know I’ll help you, in any way that I can.  You two deserve the best, really.  I’m so happy for you guys.”  She smiled, her half smile giving way to her full one, nodding her head and finally reaching over and taking his hand, applying light pressure at her fingertips.  “This is really great, Adam.  I just can’t even imagine how you guys have kept it quiet since April… I truly didn’t know.  Kudos to you.”  

The smile remained to Erin’s face as the doctor completed stitching Adam’s arm up, giving the thumbs up that all was well and he could be on his way within the hour.  “Hey, more good news.  This is just your day, Kevlar.”  She teased, withdrawing her hand and leaning back in her chair as she looked over at the doc’s handiwork.  “Very nice, yeah, that’ll scar up well.”  She laughed, shaking her head.  “We should get you a full upper body Kevlar.  You’ll be like the bionic man.”

-October 16, 2014

#aruzek #lindsayxquitxlollygagging #2014 #chicagopd