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maybeitsalivescribbles · 2 months

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VH - Lost Soul

(tw: it’s backstory time for Vampire Hero, and it isn’t very nice. Lots and lots of torture mentions.)

Vampire Hero was in hell, although not for the reasons Villain thought.

According to his watch, he’d been trapped in this maze for hours. Amid the many gifts his vampire nature had given him, a sense of direction wasn’t among them. He’d tried to punch the walls, but that would have taken too long to burst through them. They were even thicker than the skull that had thought of such a stupid thing to build. What he could do was leaving a dent to make sure that yes, he’d been there before. He had his phone on him, but there was no wifi, so no way to use his GPS. He had very little battery left anyhow– he had emptied most of it to send his wife pictures of bats on his way, which was as far as he was concerned a very good and judicious use of it. All of that was already a bore, but to make the game even funnier, the labyrinth was full of traps.

Full of pathetic traps. The ground collapsed under his feet, rocks were falling on him, all of that accomplishing nothing – but it was annoying enough that it disrupted his concentration, preventing him to find a way out. That was not the main problem, though. There were screens everywhere, too high to reach, and Villain. Never. Stopped. Talking.

“What is good and evil ? Do you know for sure what the limit is ? Good is supposed to follow the law, but is the law always good ? Isn’t it pride to do what feels right ? You think you want to stop me, but aren’t you being selfish by doing what you want ?”

She’d kept going like that for hours now. Nails on a blackboard would have sounded nicer. Not only the words were as hollow as a dead snail, but the inflection of that pompous voice was unbearable. Vampire Hero was seriously tempted to hit his head against the wall to stop hearing anything, but that didn’t seem like it’d work in the long term.

At his limit, he stepped up, his lips pinched, and finally yelled back:

“Four words. Grow the fuck up.”

“That’s all you have to say ? You’re not much for philosophy.”

“You call that philosophy ? I hate to break it to you, but knowing that good and bad are social constructs is not some kind of genius insight. All I see is a kid yelling at me that she’s very smart. You don’t give a crap about all of this. You just want to prove to yourself how very superior you are.”

“Do you think you’re better than me ?”

“The bar is low.”

“Oh, because you’re good now ?”

Vampire Hero stopped dead in his tracks:

“Even before, I was better than you."

He raised his arms and bared his teeth, his voice loud:

"You think that you’re bad ? You’ve got nothing on me ! I lured people and made them dance with me over broken glass. I had them rot blindfolded in animal cages for days until they had to lick their own blood. I had cozy nights with them having a friendly little chat in the living room while I was drinking from a corpse, and they knew that if they broke they were next. I made them starve and eat their loved ones. And I loved it ! I loved all of it ! I loved the light dying in their eyes. I thought I was clever ! I am half the reasons you’re shaking at night !”

“Zdiiiiiiiingbonnng,” made the rock on Hero’s head. He sighed in exasperation and stopped talking, wiping gravel from his hair.

“I know about you.” said Villain. “The hero agency’s lackey. Aren’t you ashamed ? You were a great prince, once.”

“Actually, I never was really tall.”

“Go ahead, hide yourself behind this kind of childish retorts. But admit it: you’ve sunk low. You arrest people who weren’t caught like you and you bring them to the authority, like a good dog. Has it ever occurred to you how much of a failure you’ve become ?”

“No.”

“Then why did you stop ?”

“If I tell you the story, will you finally shut up ?”

“Perhaps.”

“Worth it.”

Vampire Hero jumped over a couple of spikes, groaned when he realized that his jeans had a new hole, and said:

“Once upon a time, asshole, I was living happily in my castle all alone. I was rich, I was immortal, I had everything I wanted, and what I wanted was a lot of toys.”

He glanced around him, noticed nothing that indicated he was on the right path, and sighed.

“By toys I mean humans, of course. I chose among the prettiest, kindest, bravest, and I tortured them to death. I hurt them until they didn't have anything to break. I was good at it. I experimented things that would give you and all of you so-called Supervillains nightmares for years. But, you know. Decade after decade, still doing the same thing – I was getting bored. I felt empt- aw man, a dead end again ?”

He turned on his heels, swearing. That was obviously the wrong way to solve his problem. The walls were smooth and impossible to climb, so it had to be arranged. He caught a rock and throw it against the hard surface with a little more strength than necessary.

“Well, anyway. I heard there was a great conqueror who wanted the world. I made my first travel since decades, by curiosity. I wanted to see by myself who could challenge me.”

“And you fought him and you lost ?”

“I told you to shut up. I met her, and not long after I was her lucky, lucky husband. I never had her ambition, but of course I supported her. She encouraged my own little hobby in return, so I became her special torturer. My life was even more perfect, and there was this void inside me, and I hated it, and I didn't understand it. And what happened happened. I tortured the wrong person.”

“Define wrong ?”

“It was the daughter of a vampire hunter.”

“A poor choice.”

“Yeah, tell me about it. The guy was really good at his job. He was already pissed off because of the world-conquering plan, but after I did that, well, he cursed my wife and I – oh, enough with this.”

Punctured by rock impacts, the wall in front of him wasn’t so smooth anymore. Vampire Hero took a run-up, jumped and landed on the top of it. He had a nice view on the labyrinth now. For the first time, he took the right direction.

“ That’s cheating,” complained Villain.

“I don’t care.”

“What then ?”

“What then ? I had a bad century. The hunter couldn't kill me, so he drank my blood to prolong his own life and tortured me. He got good at it, too. I felt what I’d made the others feel, but only at first – after ninety years it was back to nothing. I was 300 years old and reality was fading. I was a leech. I hadn’t made a thing for myself.”

“You mean you went soft because of a little torturing?”

“No. I got old. When you have a couple of centuries, this torture-people-to-death shit doesn’t have the same kind of kick anymore. You try to get creative, but it doesn’t help. You feel nothing. So there’s nothing else you can do but stop. And speaking of stopping, it’s your turn.”

Vampire Hero was now at the center of the labyrinth. He jumped to a silver door, decided he was too done with the whole thing to use the knob, and broke it open.

Villain turned towards him, a small smile on her face, and opened her arms in a welcome gesture:

“Behold, vampire ! This room have been made of silver walls and floor. You won’t be able to enter without squirming in agony and -

Vampire Hero stepped in. Villain braced herself for his cries of pain, but there was none. He still looked bored out of his mind. There was a long silence.

“That’s – that’s not possible.”

Hero laughed. A slow, sinister laugh that made Villain’s eyes open wide.

“What are you ?” she whispered. “You can’t be a vampire. You should be crawling on the ground.”

“Don’t you listen ? I told you I’ve been tortured for decades. You know what an immortal body does when it regenerates back for the hundredth time ?"

He pointed to himself. There was a subtle change in his appearance. He still looked like his unimpressed self, but his usual lightness was replaced by something much darker. It was his eyes. Staring into them was like gazing into some horrible, nameless abyss. There was nothing human about them. They could only belong to some ghastly creature who'd lived centuries, not particularly nice ones.

Vampire Hero chuckled, and Villain shuddered.

"It gets tougher," he only said. "I’ve lost touch and taste. I feel nothing. Nor warmth or cold, and certainly not pain. My body is cut from the outside world. There's not much that feels real to me. You know what it is?”

He walked towards Villain, who took a step back and said:

“I hope you realize you’re monologuing yourself.”

“Habits die hard. I want to go back tonight and kiss my wife on the top of her head, just in the middle. It’s our habit. That’s all that matters. If I have to be on this side to support her, so be it. I don’t care about evil or good, and it won’t prevent me to eat your vocal chords if you’re off again. So, are you going to keep talking or finally shut the hell up ?”

“You know what, I think I’m good.”

Vampire Hero is a recurring character. His job is to troll current villains. Check the Vampire Hero Masterlist or Tag for more snippets with him.

Or back to Hero x Villain Masterlist.

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alilysrose · 7 years

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So I watched the fake TFP

Under the cut I give as in depth a summary of the episode as possible with quick reactions from me.

I’m happy to message anyone the link to the episode :)

Obviously spoilers below. I’m sorry about how long it is!

Tagging a few people who may be interested @inevitably-johnlocked @multifandom-madnesss @theobellz @watertherose

I speak Serbo-Croat and understand basic Russian so I was able to get a bit of a gist of what was going on but nothing super in depth. I’m a music nerd and play the violin (Ben’s violin playing has always annoyed me!) so I comment on that a bit.

I was typing notes on my phone so I’ve used the following abbreviations:

-S = Sherlock, J = John, M = Mycroft, E = Eurus

So they're on a plane and everyone is miraculously dead apart from a little girl. Looks like whatever happened to kill everyone happened suddenly. Loads of turbulence. Oxygen masks are hanging down. Phone starts ringing, girl answers it, asks for help. Moriarty says hi.

How the fuck do you call a phone on an airplane.

Omg the acting. I'm dying this is horror movie trope central and I don't even watch horror movies. Mark must have had so much fun doing this.

And Mycroft is shown to be so sentimental. Omg the paintings bleed from the eyes like seriously.

Wtf clowns. Like how can this be serious. Music from HoB. Why is Sherlock wearing the hat. This is literally a crack fic. Like characters keep randomingly appearing. [Note from after the episode, like something fucky is happening all the characters magically teleport at least once).

Music from Blind Banker.

Just mentioned something about Mary and a snake. Dog bark and flashback to child Eurus. Mycroft hallucinating about their childhood?

Mycroft client and taking John and Sherlock back through their childhood. Clearly where the boy band photo shoot came from. Because it was on location (ie $$$) in inclined to believe some of it is real.

Main theory about russian - fewer people speak it for translating purposes. Therefore if there are real scenes in there with either fake or real dubs we'll have a harder time telling Talking about Sherlock remembering.

So Eurus apparently burnt down the homes family cottage as a young kid and Mycroft is remembering this and telling S and J in the client chair at Baker Street. Doesn't make sense, client chair is rarely used for exposition in Sherlock. The blocking is off.

Skull hell still s4 skull turned on.

Mycroft describing the institution/ prison where Eurus was kept. Hint: it's Mark's blueprint dick.

Now everyone's hearing Eurus. There's a drone. Someone asks what the drone is. Someone answers it's a drone. Stellar dialogue (I can't tell the voices apart).

Omg Hudders. [Post ep note: she was dancing to music while vacuuming. No clue what happened to her after the bomb. Ded?]

Omg dat slow mo. Highschool musical. Same fire promo as end of TLD. Now we know why it was so corny. That was Sherlock not Mycroft on the right. Speakers on ship keep saying sherinford. Sailors are confused af. Sherlock teleports to the boat. With John! Swan dives onto the boat deck (same as waterfall music).

Again only two seconds of boat stuff compared to the amount we saw them shooting.

Sherlock wrote 'tell my sister I'm here' in the sand at sherrinford. So this is after TLD and they've apparently recaptured Eurus and John has had plastic surgery after being shot in the face? Okaaaaaaaaay.

Omg lmao Mycroft disguised as the fisherman (similar to that patient that John treated in empty hearse).

So they've discovered Mycroft but still letting him give directions to Sherlock to get to Eurus' cell over an earpiece.

Ben looks weird af with a beanie. Eurus plays the violin.

Mycroft and John somehow made friends with interrogator.

Sherlock is playing the theme for the woman and the bowing doesn't match the music or even when Sherlock is playing 😂😂😂 FAKE

They actually touch their ears when listening to the earpieces. Is this year 9 drama class?

Literally just did storm pathetic fallacy along with scary music.

Eurus is trying to kill Sherlock. Sherlock is just lying there. Literally not even trying to defend himself like he did with Culbertson.

They just had John fainting backwards, going cross eyed and spiny spiny effects.

Moriarty is playing 'I want to break free' he looks like he's in one of the those sexy car ads.

Moriarty: how many?

Guard: three

Moriarty: enough

(Guessing they're referring to M, S and J)

Nativity scene. Moriarty and M having a scene together. Mycroft sitting down. M theory maybe???

Most telling: apart from 221B Baker Street, no wallpaper.

Now some interpretative dance between Moriarty and Eurus. Lettering on the cell where M, S and J are says three feet.

Now flight of dead again, girl calls through from the plane now. M and S deducing the girl, coming up with a plan, a better plan?

Eurus is out, supposedly Moriarty broke her out. They've got the wife of random guy [post ep note: His name is David, WHY THE FUCKERY ARE THERE ONLY LIKE 3 NAMES ON THIS SHOW???] who's locked up with M, S and J.

Eurus gives S the choice to shoot J or M to save wife of random guy. S chooses M. Mark's acting is terribly hilarious. Sherlock gives up on M and tries to hand gun butt to J. Omg red light going on and off with Moriarty trying to beatbox???? (Probably countdown). Yeah he's saying tick tick tick tick. Sounds like beat boxing though.

John is going to shoot random guy??? He just asked random guy's name (David). Hmmmmm. Making him kneel. John says no. David takes gun off John. D suicides. Mycroft throws up. Mycroft miraculously recovers.

Eurus shoots D's wife. Eurus is pissed Sherlock didn't choose J or M??? Sherlock has the gun again.

Moriarty says Choo chooo as S, J and M are able to leave the room. [Post episode note: I’m clearly witnessing emmy-award wining writing here)

Back to plane. Kid is drinking a juice and still on the phone somehow. Sherlock trying to deduce. Someone's at kid's grandparents.

This episode is so weird it's like S having to pass a series of Moriarty and Eurus created tests. SMJ have somehow acquired a rifle. Continuity 👌

Ah they're deducing who owns the rifle. J getting bitchy with M. Didn't answer the riddle fast enough so Eurus hanging three guys (not hung) outside the window to help Sherlock guess and deduce.

All three guys dropped into the sea to death. Pretty sure S just told J that caring doesn't help/ save them to comfort? him.

S and M deducing a coffin. I love you written on the coffin. Now S has 3 minutes to get Molly to say I love you on the phone? Eurus now beat boxing (ie. tick tick tick tick). A mastervillisn clearly came up with this plot.

This tick tock red light stuff is like so extra.

Why are they making such a big fuss about this I love you? And why was Sherlock so upset about it? Now Sherlock it beating up a coffin.

Like wtf is the plot. They solve a puzzle by Eurus in one room then move to the next room? Now and then plane girl phones in and now and then there are red lights with Moriarty or Eurus beatboxing (tick tock tick tick).

Sherlock has to choose between M and J. AGAIN. M and J both trying to convince Sherlock to shoot them and not the other. I think Mycroft just revealed M theory. Shoot straight little brother 😭 Mycroft highlighted in red light again, Moriarty pops up again.

I can't pick where this music is from.

Sherlock can't do it. He's about to suicide. Counting down. Why aren't M and J doing something? Only Eurus is trying to talk him out of it. Sherlock pulled a pin out of the back of his head? Flashback of Eurus. Sherlock lying on table girl on plane coming through speakers.

John teleported to well. Mycroft's voice somehow over the loud speakers. This doesnt make any sense and it's not that it's in Russian.

Sherlock was in a shipping container helpfully dropped outside his childhood home (Musgrave). But he can still somehow hear Eurus. This almost has me on the EMP train.

Why can everyone hear each other?? And why are there magically TV screens everywhere?

John is chained to the bottom of the well.

Sherlock talking to Eurus on a magic TV inside Musgrave hall and having childhood flashbacks while John just drowns?

Sherlock just said Victor Trevor who was his childhood friend? But Victor in BB???Victor did something to Redbeard though. Now a shot of a kid down a well. Maybe young John or Victor? So young Victor drowned and John just found his skull in the bottom of the well.

Flashback of great game pool and Abominable Bride waterfall. Wtf I'm now believing in EMP thanks to a fake episode? This scene (from TV eurus) could be the 26 pages? [Post ep: I doubt it but trying to keep an open mind to how fake it could be] Sherlock playing with words in the air at Nemo's grave.

The girl has been crashing in the plane for almost 90 minutes now. Still somehow has a phone connection. Sherlock runs into a room and it's Eurus again. Definitely EMP. Wtf. Girl on plane was Eurus?

Eurus: no one listened to me Sherlock hugging Eurus 'don't cry'.

Time jump. Eurus arrested. John outside of well. J has shock blanket. Lestrade there.

I just don't get how the fuck everyone teleported everywhere in the episode.

This is definitely an ASIP callback. J and S talking about a text. John: 'it's neither better nor worse'

Mummy Holmes telling M off (about Eurus, Sherlock and Sherlock's blog)? Daddy Holmes there too. Sherlock watching. This is in Mycroft's bunker office.

Sherlock takes violin to Eurus.

Sherlock playing to Euros. Can hear violin while Sherlock and John clean up Baker Street.

Ugh the violin playing has almost always annoyed me in the show they don't move their wrists. Now Sherlock and Eurus playing a duet.

Mary on a video to John.

Brief shots back to ASIP. (John's nightmare st the bedsit, first shot of Sherlock opening the body bag).

Mary is doing a wrap up voice over for John??? Or the audience???

Awww J and S remaking Baker Street. Spray paint and gun shots and everything!

Lmao E and S playing Sherlock main theme on violin.

Parentlock.

Mummy and Daddy and Mycroft sitting watching Eurus and possibly Sherlock play violin while smiling.

Mary says Sherlock and Dr Watson. This Ep is obvs fake. Random running shot of Sherlock and John out a building. Credits!

Like I literally can’t believe what I just watched. I literally cannot make sense of it as well.

IF this episode is real then I’m 100% on the EMP train even though that disappoints me as I’ve always seen it as the easy way out.

Honestly though I’m so doubtful that this is real. It had no new score, sloppy acting, sloppy writing, slopping cinematography and editing. Ugh.

I’m still not sure what the point of the whole story was. Like Mycroft told Sherlock and John about Eurus burning down their house so they decided to go on a boat trip to visit her. Somehow Mycroft got there when we only saw John and Sherlock on the boat. Then it turned into mystery hour solving weird puzzles for Eurus while Moriarty beatboxed and a girl on the plane crashed for 60 minutes. Then more teleportation, Sherlock talking to more tv screens and a miraculous ending that fell about 1,895 miles short. Also how was Eurus on the island in the first place. That definitely was never explained.

I honestly got bored while watching it which should not have happened given I was watching it for the first time while taking notes in a language I barely speak. Like geez it must be 10 times worse in English. Okay. Rant over. I hope this helps or something lol and if this is the real episode tomorrow I’ll try and get this review published!

Seriously though I love you guys and this has been the best fandom day ever.

#sherlock the final problem #s4 #spoilers #fake episode #tpf

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booklyreads · 7 years

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Sherlock Finale and Its Problem with Women

This post is full of Sherlock season 4 spoilers.

I logged onto my old Sherlock-centered Tumblr last night post-finale, hoping for funny memes and touching GIFs memorializing all of the funny and touching moments of the episode. Instead I found a whole lot of anger that the finale hadn’t gone Exactly As People Wanted It To, which bummed me out enough to log off and fangirl on the phone with old friends (plus my mom! hi mom!) instead.

I basically stopped caring about Sherlock after Moriarty died, so the flashback with him was enough to make the entire episode endearing to me.

But let’s talk Euros (Eurus? Euro? Gyro? I kept thinking ‘gyro.’). Let’s talk Sherlock women in general. I hated their Irene Adler. I hated that she ended up just being a pawn of Moriarty’s who needed saving, was reduced to a damsel in distress. I hated that her clever gimmick was to get naked. Like, come on.

Euros could have redeemed the show: It’s possible, after all, that Moriarty was her pawn, and her intellect really did seem to be the equal of Sherlock and Mycroft's. But I have some major disappointments:

1. She was, in the end, reduced to a damsel in distress. Why has Sherlock needed to save every woman in this show, including those who are supposed to be as intelligent as him but obviously aren’t?

2. I think she was…a rapist? She had nonconsensual sex, with a nurse, and didn’t note the nurse’s gender because apparently she mutilated the nurse? Am I wrong in this? Let’s break this down some more:

a. It bums me out that people are so angry about Johnlock not being canon, but it is eyebrow-raising that the only people on the show to not be straight are the villains and John’s invisible, alcoholic sister. Moriarty, Adler, Euros Holmes: All pansexual, apparently, as if portraying “deviant sexualities” as evidence of evil is somehow new or interesting.

b. Why make her a rapist? They could have just not. Literally nothing else would have changed since it was mentioned in one passing comment that in no way affected the plot.

c. It in no way affected the plot, which is weird, because the villains Sherlock seems to really, really hate are the ones that enjoy nonconsent. Magnussen with his weird cheek-licking: Sherlock shot him. Culverton Smith with his “tell me you don’t want to die” and “I like to make people into things”: Sherlock destroyed him, too.

I have the feeling that Moriarty isn’t a rapist while Magnussen and Smith so easily could be. Firstly, Moriarty doesn’t like to get his hands dirty. But secondly – there’s a kind of mutual respect between him and Sherlock that can’t exist when one party disregards the concept of “consent.” They're participating in a two-player game. Moriarty just doesn’t strike me as someone who would be sexually violent (in the nonconsensual way, at least ;)))) ).

So this is a show where sexual violence is the worst of crimes when men commit it, but when a woman is a rapist, Sherlock gives her a hug? It’s wrong and sick and if anyone can offer me any explanation, I would so happily take it.

3. As this graph shows, Sherlock Holmes has been made into animals and vegetables more times than he’s been a woman. A woman Watson? Sure. But a woman genius? Nope.

So it is disappointing that when there was a third, smarter Holmes sibling, a female, she was evil. It seems like the punishment for her intellect: Women can be smart, but they can’t handle their smartness, so they snap and go insane. And need to be locked up forever.

Oh, and get this. She’s mute at the end. Imploding ever inwards, trapped in body and in mind.

It’s so chillingly Victorian that I can’t quite get over it, sorry. The Holmes sister needs to be locked up while her big brother rules England and her other big brother is the world’s #1 detective. Gag.

Weirdly, I enjoyed the finale. I woke up this morning very happy for having seen it. I thought it was a fitting conclusion. But that doesn’t mean it was perfect.

#sherlock #moriarty #eurus holmes #euros holmes #irene adler #feminism #lgbt

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fandomnerdhq · 7 years

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Sherlock theories

I still won’t reblog any sherlock posts until feb 1st but I have a few theories and I need to get them off my chest!

I will also edit this post and ad responses so that you guys do not have to see any spoilers if I reblog.

1) Culverton Smith

He said “I need to kill someone.” The key words being Need and someone. Not ‘anyone’ as predicted, even though that was partially accurate, but someone. We were told by Sherlock near the begeinning of the ep that it is one name. So... either euros.... or Moriarty. Also the timing is perfect. This meeting was three years ago! Roughly around the time *cough* Moriarty *cough* died.

2) The “Other Brother”

So we know that the Holmes brother’s have a sister(or do they not???) but the possibilty of them having another brother, Sherrinford, is high! Mycroft does say the name ‘Sherrinford’ once so we can expect him to make an apearence. Keep hope ya’ll!

3) Eurus

She fascinates me. She must be the smartest of the Holmes’ siblings and here are some of my reason’s why. If Sherlock predicted what John would do two weeks ago, Eurus predicted and infiltrated John’s life 6-8 months before. She also killed the psychatrist(and who knows how many more people) and kept multiple covers while hiding from the authorites. She got close to John in multiple ways, one way by pretending to be a cute girl on the bus, pulling him away from his commitment to Mary, and another way by trying to be his pillar and confidant as John pulls away from Sherlock.

She also(like Morairty) used Sherlock through a guise to take down a big bad guy. But while they were chatting, Sherlock has a flashback to his childhood where he was running through the beach with Redbeard, which somewhat answers the questions as to why he didn’t recognixe her; They must have been seperated when they were young. Which leads to the question, what seperated them, if something did??

4) THE BEST FOR LAST!

In S3E2 Mycroft warns Sherlock, “East wind is coming” At the end of S4E2, Eurus, while introducing herself to John mentions this, “Eurus, means ‘the east wind” The hints were there all along!

****EDITS and ADITIONAL THEORIES FROM OTHERS*****

from @lanabananapants

That last point. Holy effing nuts. Because with a name like eurus, and it’s meaning, you know they, as brothers, would never say that term without thinking of their sister. I mean when we give our siblings nicknames, and we hear the nickname as an adult, no matter how simple he word or phrase might be, we always think back to the original meaning it had for us- the nickname. So there is no way it was said innocently.

Also, I have an additional theory. In the BTS of the six thatchers, Moffatt and Gattiss (sp?) say their code word throughout the entire series for someone getting killed is “getting cake”. At the end of TLD Sherlock and Watson are talking about going to mollys for cake. Cake cake cake. Let’s go get cake…… followed by Watson’s scene with eurus… would the clues transcend on screen and off???

I actually thought about this theory and it gave me chills, thank you very much for adding it! I don’t know what to say, other than hoping to god that nobody dies!

#the lying detective #Sherlock #sherlock BBC #bbc sherlock #johnlock #culverton smith #sherlock the lying detective #Moriarty #eurus #sherrinford holmes #john watson #reblog with your thoughts

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softgayjohnlock-blog · 7 years

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“It’s too late, John”

Summary:

Sherlock and John Holmes decide it's time to adopt a child. The problem, the final problem, is that Sherlock has a secret to hide. Will it stop him from being fit to be a parent?

trigger warnings: self-harm (sort of graphic ish), suicidal thoughts, internalized and open homophobia, depression, bullying (sort of)

221b wasn't in it's best state that afternoon. John had gone out to buy himself and Sherlock a few clothes (alone, since Sherlock had of course been 'busy'), Mrs Hudson was playing Cluedo without a care in the world (which was quite rare, as she would usually come in to check on Sherlock every once in a while), and Molly had come to the flat to give Sherlock a post-mortem review, while Molly's girlfriend, DI Hopkins, analysed the murder report with him.

"I'll see you tomorrow then, 6 ish?" Molly proposed.

"'Course love. Can't wait." replied Stella, with a hidden wink. She walked up to the side table, grabbed her many folders, and walked out after exchanging a smile with Molly.

Sherlock had been sitting on his chair the entire time, carefully observing both Molly and Stella's every move. He enjoyed watching a certain type of relationship. The type which he and John were involved in. 'The great wonders of homosexuality' Sherlock often quoted from an apparent book. With elegance and his fingertips placed on his cheekbones, he would slowly tilt his head from side to side, deducing every move, every breath, until Stella had left the bijou flat, allowing him to begin conversing with Molly.

"You and DI Hopkins. How long?" "3 months. Not quite as long as you and John of course, but then again, we aren't-" "-married. Yes, quite." Sherlock interrupted. He smiled to himself as he remembered his and John's wedding, but this smile quickly faded with a gentle pull down of his sleeves and an inaudible sigh. He proceeded in closing his eyes, allowing Molly to sort out the post-mortem details in the kitchen. She looked back at Sherlock to check he was still asleep, before closing the door behind her and leaving the flat.

Sherlock in fact had not been asleep. The moment he heard the door to 221b close fully, he gently opened both eyes, his spine still slumped onto the sofa. His sighs were heavy now. 'Bored!' he thought. Boredom began to consume him; he had been tapping his feet onto the floor for a few minutes now, finally deciding to pick up his phone from beside him.

*2 missed calls*. From John. And a text.

*Hi :) I'll be a bit late, your wonderful (irritating) brother decided to force me to visit him again. He talked about all kinds of things, the usual. God I hope I didn't miss anything important, it got a bit boring after a while. Something about your coffee habits? You don't even drink coffee. Who does that man think you are?! Oh and something about Eurus... or Euros? Could've been talking about Brexit for all I know. Sorry I was so tired and didn't listen, maybe I should've. If this coffee case, or the Euros(?!) situation means anything to you, thank GOD. I hope everything's okay, love you. See you at 5 :) x (if there's no traffic!)*

Sherlock glanced at the clock. *16:47*. He put his head in his hands and continued to sigh.

Coffee. Eurus. Coffee. Eurus. Coffee. Eurus. Coffee. Eurus. Coffee. Eurus. Coffee. Eurus.

Eurus.

"EU-" he was about to exclaim to himself, when a strong thud at the door stopped his words.

Sherlock's head tilted up incredibly quickly, almost as if it had become a natural reflex. He was frightened, but he knew he shouldn't have been. There was no reason to be, right? He slid his phone into the left pocket of his cardigan. After crossing his legs, his brain had decided he should just stop being frightened, and at least pretend to keep cool.

He crossed his hands, and with a fake self-assured tone, spoke. "Make sure the case is interesting, I'm currently not in the best state for boring cases. I need excitement. Now, do come in."

Nothing.

"Oh for God's sake" Sherlock muttered, his confidence building up again. He places his hands onto the sides of the chair, lifted himself, and began walking to the door. Placing his right hand into his pocket for elegance, he used his left hand to swing the door open.

Nobody.

"Don't be silly. Why are you hiding? We all know you've been doing that for too long anyway. Haven't you... Eurus?" Sherlock secretly hoped, as much as he feared her, that it would be Eurus, in order to avoid embarrassment.

Silence.

Sherlock had had enough. He closed the door slowly, and was about to turn around. Mid-turn, he glanced at his chair, and immediately jumped a little. Why was she on his chair? Who was this... child?

Not Eurus, of course. This child looked around 10 months old. A chill ran down Sherlock's spine as he predicted exactly what was to come next. With a quick check that his sleeves were fully down again, he looked back at the door. He was right. The figure was somehow standing there, AND somehow got a baby into the flat- all without Sherlock realising.

John Watson. He smirked a little with his eyes glowing, first looking at the child, then at Sherlock.

"Rosie" he said. Sherlock furrowed his eyebrows. He knew what was happening, but pretended to be confused to prolong the process. He couldn't quite believe what was happening, and quite frankly, he didn't want to believe it.

"Sherlock? You knew she was coming, I shouldn't have made it this obvious. She's gorgeous, Sherlock, absolutely gorgeous. The adoption company were still iffy about her being adopted by a gay couple though. For goodness sake, it's 2017!! But they let us Sherlock, they let us, and just LOOK how-" John wanted to continue, but was interrupted by Sherlock, as per.

"John I... she's gorgeous. I can see how great of a personality she has, and I love you for doing this without me, as a cute surprise. Honestly. There's just... one thing..." he trailed off, barely able to finish his sentence. He breathed heavily, everything became a little dizzy. John immediately hugged Sherlock, squeezing him a little tighter than usual, only letting him go after 3 minutes. He just wanted Sherlock to be happy.

But Sherlock couldn't be happy. Not now. It wasn't Rosie's fault, of course.

"It's my fault, John. I can't tell you why, but it's all my fault. I'm sorry."

John seemed confused. What was Sherlock talking about? He tried to 'deduce' him, as it were. One thing he quickly caught was Sherlock constantly pulling down and holding onto his long shirt sleeves. At first, this seemed like nothing, Sherlock did this all the time.

Sherlock did this. All. The. Time.

"Sherlock... come here again. I can't let you go, not now" he opened out his arms to give Sherlock another hug, and Sherlock came in for one. John's next steps were already planned. He slowly moved his hands down to Sherlock arms. Suddenly, Sherlock was not longer in John's arms hugging him. He knew exactly what John was doing, and couldn't bear the thought.

"I... need to go. Case. Yes, many cases. Thank you for adopting Rosie after last week's conversation, and sorry for being a bit shit. Now. A case!" "Sherlock- stop." John cared incredibly, but 'desperate times call for desperate measures' was one of his main motto's, to Sherlock dismay. With a quick glance, he made sure Rosie was asleep, which she was.

John took a deep breath, thought 'I'm sorry, Sherlock. I really am', and, as Sherlock was walking off, grabbed his right arm. Sherlock froze, which confused John. He had assumed Sherlock would fight back for whatever reason. But he had just frozen.

Tears slowly began to roll down Sherlock's eyes. He really didn't want John to know about his past, his present or his planned future. But he had given up, he was too weak to stop him any longer.

John undid Sherlock's shirt button, sighed, and slowly began to roll up the sleeve to reveal Sherlock's bare arm. Much to John's horror, it wasn't just what he had feared. It was much worse. Scars, in every possible gap, filled Sherlock's arm. Purple, red, white. Big, small. John couldn't believe what he was seeing, and while he wanted to state aloud how shocked he was, he decided it would be best to keep that to himself for now. A tear rolled down his cheek. He cared about Sherlock so much, and wouldn't believe that his own husband was doing this to himself. He was beautiful, intelligent, getting much more kind every moment of every day. Sure, he wasn't perfect, but that's what made him so precious to John. He was human. One of John's tears fell onto Sherlock's arm, onto a fresh wound, causing him to flinch.

A fresh wound.

John began to estimate how fresh it could've been. A few days old? No. Yesterday? Not quite...

Today. A couple of hours at most- when John was away. Guilt hit him like a bullet. He had gone, allowed Sherlock to harm himself, and now he was bombarding him with the burden of a child.

'So that's why Sherlock was sorry...' John realised. But Sherlock wasn't just sorry.

He was scared that he wasn't fit to be a father yet, and feared he never could be. Not while he was harming himself. But worst of all, Sherlock thought he wouldn't stop hurting himself. That he would never be a suitable father for Rosie.

Ever.

John felt a little tug as he held onto Sherlock's arm. He looked up, and saw Sherlock's tears uncontrollably flowing, but with no sound, and no facial expression. Sherlock's face was blank. He was numb, lifeless. John decided it would be best if he let go now, he didn't ever want to torture his husband after all. The moment he let his fingers gently remove themselves from Sherlock's scarred arm, he could sense Sherlock's urge to run. To run, and never return; to escape... quite literally. "Please. Sherlock..." John barely caught his breath, and now moved his fingers to Sherlock's greasy, ruffled hair. They were both frozen again now, and all that moved was Sherlock's eyes. From looking at the floor, he slowly guided his eyes to John's and analysed every aspect of his eyes. A sudden flashback to the night of John and Sherlock's wedding, of wedding vows, of passionate kisses and intimate hugs and--- Guilt.

* 2 years ago // John and Sherlock's wedding day: 8am *

Violins, pianos, cellos, flutes, bassoons, clarinets. Just some of the many instruments set up to play at the wedding. The order of the day was mapped out, perfectly calculated. It was to be the most wonderful, beautiful celebration that any of the guests should ever witness in there lives. All set up by Mrs Hudson. There would be-

"An introduction of flutes!! Oh wonderful, and then the teacakes can come while the violins play, and THEN when the main wedding cake is served, the bassoons, piano and clarinet can join- I've even designed the cute men, edible of course, that'll stand on the cake!! My boys. Getting married. MY boys!! Oh brilliant, I can finally show that idiot brother of yours that you have a heart, thanks for proving my point Sherlock"

That idiot brother. Mycroft Holmes, of course.

That idiot brother.

Sherlock had started getting dressed at around 11am that morning. Slowly buttoning up his crisp white shirt, the excitement was building up inside of him. A day with the love of his life, getting MARRIED to him, and a day without Mycroft to beat him down to the pulp with his words. It would be the best day of Sherlock's life. Best of all:

A guest list of people himself and John truly cared about.

Mrs Hudson

Molly

Lestrade

Sherlock's parents

Major Sholto

Harry (who would most likely not turn up)

Stella

A few of Sherlock's homeless network (John was not convinced)

The friends and family of all the above - an estimated 100 more people.

The guests were to arrive in a few minutes, it was all very exciting. Suit polished on, Sherlock headed towards the door. He gently twisted the handle, and left his temporary room- part of the many rooms in the grand building they had hired for the wedding. The spiralling staircase led on to the main hall. Flowers, bees and science. The 3 elements which made up the design of the room, of course designed by Mrs Hudson. She did, after all, have a secret talent for things like this. Sherlock began to slowly head down the stairs, a little terrified he would mess up the vows, or trip up, or begin talking about a case.

He could hear a few guests downstairs already. Some were identifiable from the guest list. Mrs Hudson was of course already there, but he could now hear Molly and Stella talking quietly below him. Nearby, but in a separate room, Sherlock heard two lower voices. 2 men, clearly, but the voices were so quiet that he couldn't work out who they were. Probably Major Sholto with a friend, he thought. He knew John was still getting ready in a room as far away from his own as possible- it was tradition, after all. Curiosity getting the better of him, Sherlock decided it was time to head downstairs to find out who's voices he couldn't identify. He took each step downstairs at a particular rhythm, while each brown stair creaked slightly.

Once downstairs, Sherlock found the door he had guessed was the one where the 2 low voices - who no longer spoke - had come from. Then a cough. A little cough, again unidentifiable, was heard from the room Sherlock was standing outside of. This was definitely the correct room. Obviously Sherlock didn't knock, and simply had to push open the door. No handle twisting, no lock picking. Just one push. It was a heavy door though, so Sherlock had to use a bit of force to allow the door to open.

A tall figure. Turned away from Sherlock.

Mycroft.

"What the HELL are you doing here?!" Sherlock shouted. He couldn't process why Mycroft was here, and he certainly didn't expect him to be there either. Mycroft responded with a snarky comment, as usual.

"Oh hello brother mine. Well well, of course I'm just here to remind you how disappointed I am in you. You and... him. I don't understand it, it's just so-"

"Beautiful. Yes, well I agree with you there, brother mine, mine and John's relationship is truly wonderful. Thanks for the reminder!" he said in the most sarcastic tone he could possibly create.

Mycroft sighed.

"Oh Sherlock. You know I didn't mean that. It's horrifying... two men. That's why I'm here, to make your day quite terrible indeed. With a little bit of help, obviously. You didn't think I just slipped myself in here somehow? Oh, no no no." Mycroft thought this would be the most clever way of using his time at the wedding. He thought it would all go to plan.

A moment later, another figure in a dressing gown and messy hair walked in, looking slightly distracted by his exhaustion.

"Hey babe, I've just got-" Lestrade stopped in the middle of his words. Standing there, was Sherlock and Mycroft. He didn't expect to see Sherlock, to be... exposed. Mycroft was horrified, he wanted to make Sherlock's day hell but hadn't realised this could happen.

He couldn't pass off Lestrade as his partner-in-crime in making Sherlock's day the worst day of his life. He couldn't reveal his inner homophobia, his inner guilt. He himself was gay, but he wanted to forget that and use Sherlock to let out all the hatred he had built up inside of him.

"You... and Mycroft?" Sherlock asked Lestrade. He knew if he had asked Mycroft he'd somehow justify something.

"Err, yeah. 1 year. Jeez Sherlock, you weren't supposed to know. Mycroft's a bit..." his words trailed off.

Mycroft spoke.

"Oh stop it. Hey, Sherlock, I was just joking, okay? I don't hate you and John at all, clearly. So we're good, yes? As long as you don't tell mummy"

But of course Sherlock was going to tell her. This was Sherlock.

"Babe, could you give Sherlock and I a moment?" Mycroft addressed Lestrade. His response was a small nod and a smile, and before he knew it Lestrade had left the room, as messy as he looked. Mycroft's facial expression changed from a soft smile to a dark stare in half a second.

"Sherlock. You don't tell mummy. You don't tell John. Or else I'll tell them both about... you." he looked at Sherlock's wrists. Sherlock let out a little gasp which he caught as quickly as he could.

"But... that was only once, Mycroft."

"Well I doubt it will be just once after today. You're so pathetic, so weak. You were always the stupid one. When you kiss John today, remember how sinful that is. I may be with Lestrade, but we're all pathetic sinners Sherlock. You and John are just much worse because you're getting married. It's so unnatural. I've wanted to protect you my entire life, and now you go and betray me like this. Go to hell, Sherlock, and never come back. I'll make sure you remember this day as the worst day of your life. You sinner."

---------

Vows given.

*glass smashes*

A gentle kiss.

*999. Mycroft has 'choked on his food'*

Cake cut.

*attempted robbery*

Drinks served.

*audible screams from outside the building*

Sherlock and John hold hands.

*fire alarm goes off*

Intimate hugs.

*the sound of a gunshot*

Fireworks outside.

*goes off too early. 2 guests taken to A&E*

Guests begin to leave.

*wedding limo cancelled by 'anon'*

Sherlock and John return home in a taxi.

*an array of knives and blades stacked out on the table*

Mrs Hudson removes the knives and blades.

*gets cut by a sharp knife, somehow hits a vein*

Sherlock takes a shower.

*a single blade, and a <3 note, on the edge of the bathtub*

Sherlock breathes heavily.

*the <3 note falls into the bathtub next to Sherlock's arms*

1 strike. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10 .... 200. 201. 202. 203.

*silence*

to be continued!! very soon, over on http://archiveofourown.org/works/9401537/chapters/21284150

#fanfiction #fanfic #ao3fic #sherlock #tjlc #sherlock fanfic #parentlock #gay #johnlock #sherlock s4

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spiritofcamelot · 7 years

Text

My Sherlock finale liveblog

I really enjoyed the show. I typed while watching and the thoughts are below. Spoikers, obviously.

So the little kid on the plane, all I can think of is a little Q developing a fear of flying

Oh shoot, if that is Moriarty, is this a flashback to when Euros was younger?

Mycroft, what are you watching?

Outdone by your own sister?

It’s a sword!!!

Stop ruining the paintings

It’s a gun inside a sword! Q absolutely designed this

“Hey bro!”

Love Watson knowing that they need to scare Mycroft and then taunting him to come to Baker St

“It’s family” “That’s why he stays!”

Well the ancestral home reminds me of Skyfall

Oh its burning now. More similarities to Skyfall

So Sherrinford is Alcatraz, I really like this show of power and manipulation from Mycroft

I’m very glad they are thinking of Mrs. Hudson

Oh man, their faces as they jumped were great, and a gorgeous transition to the stormy clouds

Interesting, so Sherrinford is broadcast over the radio often enough that sailors know to ignore it

The pirate!!! I love it so much

That’s totally Sherlock. He really couldn’t help it. He has always been good at disguises

Ooh, that’s even better. I love it when they work together. I also love a pissed off Mycroft; that is the power of the British government

Oh stop touching your earphone

I like the mix of the past tapes with the present music

So hit notes that shatter the glass

Is there a slide out to the water from her cell?

Dang Watson. I like the trend of him being the smart one and figuring things out. He is always better at seeing things about the Holmes brothers

Oh man, he was doing so good at being ahead

Great song choice!! (And hey look, another connection. He’s acting a bit like Silva) It’s a good thing villains don’t care about looking stupid

I’m kinda disappointed he is still… okay good he is not. Five years ago.

I do like her problem that she is giving them very difficult issues to think about and decide. I also love that she is keeping the countdown to herself

I don’t know if I want John to shoot him or not. This is hard

Really guys? Did you not think that she wouldn’t kill the wife? I’m also suspicious that the chair completely blocked the view when she killed the wife

This kinda reminds me of Portal

I’m actually a bit disappointed by Mycroft. I know he likes to keep his hands clean, but I would think he would be more accustomed to acting like a soldier and being prepared.

It’s a coffin for John

Oh, never mind. Well I like that Euros knows that Molly is very important to Sherlock

Right so mock Sherlock while you tell him to shoot his friend. Ah, so that Sherlock will shoot him

I’m still waiting for Vatican Cameos

There always was this third choice

How does that phone A. have battery or B. have signal to call Sherlock

Oh my gosh Sherlock, tell the girl to grab the wheel and pull back

So there is another brother… who is Q, totally Q

Ha!! I knew water had to somehow be important.

I am enjoying how much Latin is important in this series

Oh, well that explains why the phone is working so nicely, there is no plane

Aww, Lestrade is going to look after Mycroft

He’s going to play for her isn’t he?

I really want a duet between them wait yes!!

Aww, a very lovely ending. The violin music really made it.

Well I very much enjoyed the episode. Lots of cool things uncovered. Disappointed in Mycroft, love Euros.

Brilliant how we all thought there would be a third brother named Sherrinford, but then there was a sister and Sherrinford was a place and yet then there was really a third brother named Victor who was Redbeard all along and I am blown away by how clever it all is. Sherlock did always say he deleted memories. (And you know there are going to be even more fics where Q is the youngest Holmes and he escaped himself and not even Mycroft knows.)

Anyways, super cool and clever. I have to say I enjoyed how they used the trailers to trick people. That is very Holmes-esque. The puzzles from Euros were all very clever and I want to watch it all again. Need to see it all again knowing the child is her.

#Sherlock #Sherlock spoilers #the final problem #bondlock #so much potential #Linorien liveblogs

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