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greycaelum · 6 months

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Ok im gonna drop this here for u to write it whenever u want,cause its been hunting me

Royalty au where gojo and reader are living happily,that is until someone poisons his queen when they're having dinner together.

She drinks the wine,and suddenly falls to the ground while throwing up blood and blood running from her eyes. Shoko manages to save her and geto holds gojo back so he doesnt do anything stupid. But when his queen wakes up she's really weak so shoko tells gojo about a flower that'll heal her up,so gojo leaves in order to search for it.

But when he's back,geto leads him to the flower garden the queen loves and he finds her among the flowers,a little better and seeing her not on deadbed has him running toward her,lifting her up and spinning while both of them laugh and kiss

Happy ending

Scribbles & Doodles—Lotus Tears

—Elven Emperor Gojo Satoru X Human Empress Reader

𑁍 Synopsis:

His azure orbs stare as you reach to cup his cheeks with a slight understanding frown painting your brows. It doesn't help that you are wearing the other pair of purple robes. It made his belly warm, and his chest swelled with pride. You are pairing... He was the only one who could wear the purple robes since he was born, a lone star, but not anymore. And that was enough to make his heart skip a beat. "Will you be back for dinner?" Your tone carried hope and joy into his day. He doesn't understand why he has to part with you every day... He heaved a sigh hoping the day turns to dusk soon so he can hold you again to his heart's content. "For you, always, My Flower."

𑁍 Genre: historical fantasy, elves/faes, dark magic if you squint, interracial marriage

𑁍 WC/CW/TW: (4.3k)— poison, mad Satoru, elven traditions and cultures, fluff, angst, comfort, implication of major character death, mating bonds, talks of rebirth

𑁍 ✒️☕: Hi to the person who sent this ask. Pardon the very long wait, but I loved writing this one, I just need to say your ask is one of my fave ideas for elf Satoru so I tweaked some things, fantasy tropes are my favorite to write to escape canon~ Grey,

At night when you lay in their bed, your head atop his chest, he cannot sleep a wink for he has forever to spare and only a lifetime with you in his arms. For such a fragile flower, even a man who has grown bleak and untouched over the long passage of time, Satoru cannot help but stroke your head gently, scaring the pixies who would try to sneak in to soak with his mate's presence. He doesn't know if it's a good thing or bad that his mate is loved by the small faes. But one thing is for sure, he doesn't delight that they are trying to pry you awake from his arms. It's no secret he doesn't like sharing... especially when it's about you.

For a human to become the Empress of the High Courts is an unheard thing. Improbable would be the word. And you do not need to know what methods Satoru used to make this happen. Because you already knew that behind his delicate beauty, lies the prickly thorns that wield the absolute power over nature. There is a reason why he was able to rule undisputedly in the indifferent flow of nature over the passage of time.

When he married you, he knew he would uproot the earth and supplant it again and again to give whatever you desired. He is the supreme ruler and Emperor of the High Courts and would only sheath his indifference in the presence of his Empress. He has broken down the millennial walls covering his heart and found himself enthralled by the maiden who never feared the Dark Woods. She found beauty in the mystery of the borders, and he found solace in her presence. She has grown to be his beloved Flower.

Fortunately for you, even as a born human, you have adapted to the faes far quicker. Learning their language and making up for your lack of magic, you learned diplomacy. It was not easy to learn such an intricate affair, but fortune has smiled upon you, with Satoru, who has boundless knowledge of the matter to be your tutor.

"Is this adequate enough?" Satoru hopefully looked at you in the mirror and the craft he had finished for a satisfactory answer.

"Satoru, we are not going to any gathering, are we?" You chuckled as you sat in front of the golden mirror while Satoru stood behind, holding an ivory comb in his hand as he carefully brushed your silky tresses. Small flowers adorned your hair like trinkets as he wove them skillfully into a braid. At this point, your handmaidens have lost their job, with your mate attending to almost everything you need unless he is away for the court.

"At least let me do this before I leave for my duties." He brought the tip of your hair to his lips, kissing it as he stared at you, a longing look on his face. This prompt you to turn the chair and face the elven emperor.

"Will you be back for dinner?" Your tone carried hope and joy into his day.

He doesn't understand why he has to part with you every day... He heaved a sigh hoping the day turns to dusk soon so he can hold you again to his heart's content.

"For you, always, My Flower." Satoru tilted your chin and pressed a kiss on your forehead. "I do not wish to leave." He grumbled and connected your forehead, staring right into your eyes.

Your soft chuckle fluttered through his ears as you reached to cup his cheeks and stare into his eyes. A sense of tranquility floated in your orbs bringing his heart into a puddle of cotton.

"I will wait for you at dinner, Satoru. So the earlier you finish the earlier we see each other. Alright?"

"Alright, as you wish." Satoru sighed and kissed the tip of your nose. "The things you make me do..."

He never thought he would one day sit under the shade of foliage with his Empress on his lap, reading through some parchments while he pilfered some wildflowers to braid her hair. Or to walk while gently pulling the reins of his equine, leading the elk through safe passages whilst you ride on the back. Things he never imagined and things he never thought he would do. But the second you came it all seemed natural for him to indulge you in every way possible.

You are like a brittle glass flower to him that he cannot help but wrap you in the most flawless silks and softest ermine furs. You evoke in him a firm sense of fierce protectiveness.

So imagine the horror and derangement inside him when you were still smiling and talking with him at the dinner table but suddenly blood flowed down your nose, followed by a series of coughs drawing blood from your throat as you dropped to the floor, desperately gasping for air.

If it wasn't for his friend Suguru, a Dragon Lord who he has grown with, who happened to visit the very same day only to pin him down in his rampage of killing the perpetrators hiding in the imperial kitchen staff, perhaps one-fourth of the castle must've already been slaughtered.

All he could see was red. The burning flames consuming the imperial castle and the wilting forest mirrored the despair in his heart. He couldn't hear that his people were wailing for him. All he could ever see was his mate dying each second from the potent poison coursing in her bloodstream.

"Don't touch her!"

He snarled with pure frenzy when Shoko tried to reach out to your unmoving body in his arms.

"Satoru, Shoko is only going to heal her. Your mate needs help." Suguru tried to reason with the livid, elven emperor cradling the unmoving body of his bleeding empress. "She would not do anything to her, only help her."

Suguru could see how unfocused and distraught the dark blue eyes of his friend were, so far from his usual calm and regal sense. Satoru's eyes were bloodshot red. Thankfully, he didn't move when Shoko reached out again to heal his mate.

A faint color of life returned to your face, but you were still as pale as alabaster, still unconscious. The fire consuming the woods slowly died down... A slight sense of sanity returned to Satoru, who held you close, ready to hide you from the world if not for Shoko's words.

"She's in moratorium state... I've only managed to stabilize her body and freeze the poison to stop it from spreading further. Right now, we need to find an antidote... Or else she will only have seven days to live. For now, let's take the Empress to a safe place." Shoko pinched the bridge of her nose as she looked back to the fire slowly dying down, leaving shared trees and ashes. "And fix the chaos you have ignited, Your Majesty, the Emperor."

There are, but severely few times he let his emotions overcome him. He could count it in his hand. But ever since that sight of your throwing up blood, Satoru experienced a myriad of emotions he thought he was never capable of.

Fear... Despair... Uselessness... and most of all heartbreak...

You don't know how many millions of times his soul has shattered in every second he held your cold hand whilst he channeled all healing spell he knows into your body as you sleep on the cradle of the sacred tree cushioned by wildflowers and vines dangling down the archaic branches of the colossal wood. It seems you're merely asleep, but it feels like it's been forever since he last saw your eyes. The reality is that day by day, you are losing your life while all he can do is sit here, rooted in place, too afraid that if he steps away, he might not see you again.

"Your Majesty..." Shoko came forward. The Emperor has been sitting here for three days straight beside his dying mate in silence holding her hand, unmoving, and would attack anyone who dares to step one foot closer to the lying Empress. The court matters have been neglected, with only the elders holding the court together in his absence. The woodlands are closely related to the essence of the Emperor. The depression of his heart manifested in the woods, which gradually lost the green leaves and were replaced by withered branches...

"I have found a possible cure for the Empress."

Shoko had never felt strong empathy, but she did feel a bit of ache for her friend when he raised his head at her, almost pleading with his bloodshot eyes.

"Speak."

"Do you remember the Sacred Tombs of Tvar?"

The sacred burial grounds of the late Empresses. It's deep-seated in the heart of the Mountain of Hanging Tombs, guarded by the mythical beasts his forefathers have created to protect the resting place of the late Imperial Rulers.

"What about it?" Satoru has only been there once when his Imperial Father has taken him to visit his late Mother. It's a mystical mountain filled with ancient elements, from the creatures to the plants, that can only be heard in folklore.

"For high faes like us, the poison the Empress has induced was nothing serious. But to humans, it is lethal." Shoko sighed. "The spell I cast was only a valve to keep the poison at bay until we can find an antidote. On the seventh day, when the sun rises, the spell will cease to exist, and the poison will corrode her bo—"

"Tell me, what should I do? Anything Shoko. I would kill if I had to." The bones on his knuckles protruded with his clenched fists. The Emperor cut her off. He would not hear her say such ominous words about his mate's life.

He would uproot the earth to find anything that can cure you. Anything.

"Killing might be going too far, but it's not impossible." Shoko took out from her robe a parchment containing a sketch of what seemed like a flower and handed it to her Emperor. She never slept over the three days in a desperate search for any cure. "There's a flower that can only be seen in the Sacred Tombs of Tvar that may be able to save the Empress. As we all know, only the direct descendant of the Imperial Family can enter the Mountain of Hanging Tombs."

The Mountain of Hanging Tombs is as ominous as the name implies. It's a mountain range covered with black mist and ferocious mythical animals and exotic plants. It's not that only the direct descendants of the Imperial Elven Bloodline can enter the mountains, but the lower beasts residing on the foot of the mountains refrain from attacking an imperial descendant since they are born from the first Emperor's blood as well. No ordinary fae can survive these mythical beasts, and could only result in death. Thus, it has become known not to venture deep into the mountains.

Satoru, however, wasted no time to cross the valleys leading to the burial grounds. He needs to find that flower.

Lotus Tears...

It is said that the flower can heal any illness. However, it's impossible to scour for the elusive flower, which roots deep only in the burial grounds of the Empresses and leave unscathed from the toxic plants and mythical animals on top of the Mountain of Hanging Tombs that will attack him at any given second.

"Why do you always put the flower on my left ear? I'm not yet married." You asked him during one of the days he stayed longer to watch over you as you searched for some wild, beautiful flowers in the woods.

Satoru stared at the magenta lilacs he conjured from his hands and tucked them into your left ear.

"You look beautiful in any shade of purple..." It matches the color of his robe.

You pursed your lips and huffed clearly not satisfied by his vague answer.

"You didn't answer my question, Satoru."

He chuckled at your angry face, bopping your nose, making you annoyed as you tried to punch him clumsily. The little girl still has the same pout even as she bloomed into a prim and proper lady. It was too adorable even to be called 'angry.' He jumps down the tree and walks up to you, bringing the tip of your hair to his lips for a soft parting salutation.

"Next time... I will tell you, My Precious Flower." With that, he took you to the borders of the human village and the dark woods, as your Mother was already looking for you. He watches you run into the light while slowly walking back into the shadows.

Maybe... He should have never forced this fate on you. You may have called on him in desperation to flee from the humans chasing after you, but he, being the one who knew better, should have returned you to your realm rather than letting his selfishness devour him and claim you as his mate. If he had done so, then you wouldn't have met this predicament.

You wouldn't have been lying in your blood, cold like a corpse...

"Where is she?" Satoru's heart felt like it was dying when he saw that your body was gone from the bed of the sacred tree. "Where is my mate?! Shoko!"

Did he lose you? Did he come too late?

He stared at the blue lotus he so carefully dug out of the perilous mountain despite the throbbing pain on his shoulders after a chimera managed to bite him before he could slay it.

No, you cannot leave him like this... Oxygen left his lungs, and his feet staggered, unable to support the weight of heaven, crushing his soul. His vision is going black, not like this. He barely got to dote on you. Barely got to drown you with the love he has secretly hidden all these years. No, no, no. Satoru's throat ran dry. He wants to scream as if the tearing of his heart wasn't enough to shout his despair.

The forest closely linked to his essence slowly wilted as if joining their Emperor in his mourning. The leaves slowly dried up. The flowers closed, and the vines started shrinking to twigs. His sorrow is mirrored by nature.

His mind went black, his heart slowly crumbled in every passing second that his eyes could not see you. Why did the gods despise him to tear apart the only joy he has ever touched for what seems like an eternity?

"Satoru!" Suguru found him in haste after the forest slowly grew darker and darker.

Who knew that his apathetic friend could have this vast amount of emotions to turn the lush evergreen forest into a barren land? Suguru wasted no time to drag what seemed to be a lifeless Satoru into a maze-like garden.

Shoko was there. She immediately snatched the mystical lotus from the Emperor. Satoru could care. All things pale in comparison to his mate... All things. He dropped to his knees, holding onto your hand.

"Y-Y/n?" Satoru's throat was parched as he saw your sleeping body, with the wilting grass around, as if you were truly taken away into the underworld... This was your favorite garden... All flowers in here, he has grown with his own hands. Not it seems like he has planted those flowers only to send you off to the afterlife. "No, you can't do this to me, My Flower... I would lose my mind." He muttered like a madman, bringing your cold hands to rub against his cheeks, desperately searching for any signs of warmth but finding nothing...

Suguru tried to pry him away from your frail body, but his malevolence met those who tried to separate you from him until the Dragon Lord had no choice but to use all means to knock Satoru out...

The last thing he saw was your sleeping face as he desperately begged his eyes not to close... He needs to see you, to be beside you... to hold you...

"Satoru...?" You were both sitting under the shade of a magnolia tree with his head on your lap, eyes closed from the glaring sun, meanwhile, you intertwined his lustrous hair into a loose braid, tucking little flowers in your masterpiece.

"Hmm?" It was one of the days when he had enough time to traverse the hills with you and meet other fae tribes so you may have time away from the Imperial Courts.

"Promise me that if the memories we have together start to hurt... you will forget me."

His eyes opened in a split second, and he looked back with furrowed brows only to meet your small smile.

"That is nonsense. I would never wish to forget you. You are my mate." Satoru sat straight and took your hand in his. "What led you to this ominous thought, My Flower? Do not think of such things, we are bonded for eternity."

You gently shake your head.

"You're an elf... I'm a human. Our life span runs differently. Some day... You will have to remember me longer than you have held me..." The bitterness of your eyes was quickly concealed as you closed them. "That's simply the order of nature..."

Satoru was tongue-tied... He cannot face that reality yet... Not yet... If ever the Lady of Light is listening to him, he prays that the sun and moon slow down... Forever never seems to be enough...

Forever will never be enough...

"Satoru...?"

He wishes never to wake up. If you're not in the world he opens his eyes to, he may as well live in this fantasy. He has lived such a long time in solitude. So even if it's just a fragment of imagination or make-believe, he would choose that sweet lie rather than face the cold reality you're gone...

"Satoru..."

Your voice... It's sweeter than the sirens and softer than the small faes singing with the birds in early dawn...

A soft touch brushed off the fringes on his temples, shielding his eyes from the blinding sun. Unable to bear the brightness, his eyes opened and looked up to the blue sky...

Slowly, his blurry eyes met your worried ones as you tucked your hair behind your ear while staring at him with his head laying on your lap.

"You're finally awake... Thank goodness!" You sighed and smiled. "Welcome home, Satoru..."

Your hair... It's not the same color as it was... It shone a bright silver like his under the sunlight, which only the imperial descendants can inherit... But he knew it was you... His soul tells him so.

"Y-Y/n?" He reaches out to touch your cheeks that have grown prominent... more elf-like... "This isn't a dream?"

Your sweet chuckle filled his ears as your warm palms held his and pressed it to your cheeks, kissing his wrist.

"I must've worried you so... I'm sorry, but I'm fine now... because of you."

You're really warm... So warm, you melted the millennial thorny wall he built around his heart. Your palms are so dainty compared to him, but they have always been able to soothe him more than anything else.

"You... You look like me..." Satoru slowly sat up as he took in your features. "My Flower... you look like a fae..." Satoru is a bit confused about the sudden transformation. You look just as you are, but the silver hair, pointy ears, and sharper features...

"It must've been because of the flower's healing attributes," Shoko explained, taking a step forward to assess the changes on you, who indeed looks like an elf now.

"Explain, Shoko." Satoru looked at the woman as he was adamant about answers.

"The flowers had healing attributes; it's just a speculation, but aside from healing, we all know that lotus also signifies rebirth. The flower may have deemed it necessary to change the human blood running in the Empress's veins into elven blood for her to heal from the poison fully... As for the silver hair, I can only think that since the Lotus Tears came from the sacred buriel grounds of the late Empresses, it must have absorbed most of their remaining energy and passed it on to the Empress through the flower's healing attributes..."

"Does that mean my Mate is now an elf?" Satoru cannot believe how these events have turned out for you and him. He took your hand and studied your features... You are still you, but indeed, there swirls a more mystical air around you, and only a faint scent of human blood is left lingering in you.

"The Empress is not yet fully an elf at the moment, but I am sure before the fortnight ends, her transformation will be complete, and she will truly be a full-fledged fae, like us." Shoko nodded.

You stared at Satoru... The once wilting forest which you woke up to slowly regained life.

For a man so stoic, he is an open book... You can't help but chuckle as the smaller faes slowly creep out of their homes and rejoice at the blossoming life enveloping the woods again. Shoko and Suguru have left, leaving you and your mate some privacy in the garden.

"I..." Satoru cannot confess enough what he had done out of rage and sorrow when he thought you were gone.

"I know..." You shake your head telling him to speak no more as you took him in your arms... This time, you could feel him ever closer, hear his thoughts louder, and see him clearer. Everything he has done and he has said, you knew and felt in each passing second... But no words were uttered, as you can feel the remorse coursing in his being. What he needs the most is your embrace...

Nature can renew itself as long as it is given care and time...

The trees are once again full of luscious foliage, the grass is back to its evergreen hue, and the different faes have returned to their homes and gone through their duties as usual. Satoru is somehow a bit busier with the court matters, while you, the Empress, needed a little more recuperation before you come back to your court duties.

"Your Majesty... We always knew you smelled sweet even before you became like us."

The smaller sprites sat on your finger as they flapped around you, more drawn than ever. It seems that your new form has made you more captivating to their instincts, just like how they are drawn to the presence of their Emperor.

"Really? Though, I know you just want more sugary treats." You played with their cheeks until they perked up and bowed to someone. "See you tomorrow, Your Majesty!"

You didn't have to guess who made the little sprites flee in haste.

You turned around, and sure enough, you were swept off your feet as a pair of strong arms wrapped around your waist, lifting you off the ground. His sweet sandalwood scent filled your senses, soothing your racing heart.

"I missed you, My Flower... What did my mate get for me?" Satoru looked at the basket you're holding, filled with several flowers from the garden he built for you.

"It's nothing much... It's too loose to be called a crown." You showed him the crown you clumsily made with some lilacs. But Satoru guided your hand to put it on his head, indulging you with anything. You have now fully turned into an elf. Bright silver hair, lucid eyes, and the sweet scent of jasmine and orchid around you with the purple robes that only the Imperial Rulers can wear. Anyone who sees you will immediately recognize you as an Imperial Fae and their Empress.

"I would take anything you offer me, Y/n." Satoru softly kissed her forehead... his lips slowly kissed his way down your nose until he found your lips. "Can I ask for a kiss?"

"What if I say my kisses are not offered?" You raised a brow.

Satoru merely shrugged it off with a smirk.

"I'm pretty sure you can make exceptions for your husband, no?" Satoru chuckled. "Can I have my kiss now?"

Your sweet smile and soft giggle drowned in as he captured your lips for a gentle but passionate kiss.

If the lotus has tears, he will shed it only and only for you...

—GreyCaelum

PLAGIARISM IS A CRIME

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All rights and credits of the Jujutsu Kaisen character(s) mentioned images(s) and songs(s) used, belongs to their respective owner(s)

General Taglist: @ice-icebaby @aeanya @tender-rosiey @lexiene @nevermoresworld @loml-riri @pelicanpizza @emichou-chan

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ghouljams · 16 days

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professor ghost on love's bday: she doesnt like to make a big deal of it and he cant wor up the nerve to give her his gift himself, so he leaves it in her office. its a manuscript, a scribbled out on curled pages, unfinished thing that ghost had to write down so the words would stop screaming in his head. all the edits he has to make to his old work since love came into his life.

Not edits, no, a new thesis entirely. If his first book was a meditation on grief, a thesis on the state of belief in misery, an exploration of predeterminism and fate, then this one is a true love letter. It's frankly embarrassing, but he can't stop thinking about it. None of the words are right. His writing is frantic, messy, nothing like the cool explanatory tone of his other books. He has no references to cite. Or- no, he has plenty of references.

He thinks of Aristotle, of his single soul theory(bullshit, Ghost rejects, my love is whole, she's too much to be half of me, and if she were what a terribly presupposition: that we are all divided into Joy and Sorrow like me and my love).

He thinks of Plato's Symposium, of breaking love into three parts(But that's too small, she can't be broken down into parts: eros, philia, agape. She makes him want to be better, she is passion, she is love in all forms, love to the point of inspiration, love to the point of consumption, to change and be changed. How could he break her into smaller pieces when he wants all of her?)

Ovid maintained that romantic love should never be consummated, that in its purest form it should grow beyond its physical needs, becoming transcendental. What does it mean that his skin craves her every touch, that he can't sleep without her dancing through his dreams? How is he supposed to maintain his distance when she presses to him at every opportunity? When he can't find anything but sorrow without the sight of her?

Ghost scribbles on his papers like a madman. He finds notes on receipts, on the backs of paper bags, in the margins of his books. He reads over the notes Love has left him and feels his heart squeeze in such a pleasantly hurtful way.

Behaviorism perhaps. It's all quantifiable, he just needs to find the right numbers. Or maybe aesthetic philosophy would be better? Feelings which cannot be captured through written language.

Yet the scribbling takes over his work. His walls covered in post its and pencil marks, his laptop running like a jet engine as he pours what must be incomprehensible drivel into his word processor. Ghost pushes his fingers under his glasses, feels the press of the bridge into his forehead, begs for his brain to be quiet, for his stomach to stop clenching each time he thinks about Love. He drags his hand down to cover his mouth, breathing as deep as he can manage through his nose. It all feels heavy, impossibly heavy.

None of it is right, none of it feels big enough, encompasses enough to describe the way he feels. None of the philosophers talk about the actual feeling of it. They don't talk about it hurting, don't mention how much he craves the pain of her.

Maybe he's a masochist.

He sends the draft to his editor with an apology.

"2.5 kids and a dog, eh?" Is the only response he gets.

#cod x reader #x reader #simon ghost riley #x oc #cod x oc #simon ghost riley x reader #ghost mw2 #ghost x reader #simon riley #simon riley x oc #mw2 ghost #ghost cod #ghost x oc #oc: love #professor!ghost #professor au #I smell another best seller #Ghost does his best work when he uses his emotions for his philosophy

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t3ag3rs · 6 days

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i loved your bakugo headcanons omg, the joy i feel when someone writes for characters and actually includes their canonical personalities lol idk if you write for any other characters, if you don't then you can just ignore this, but if you do then could you write similar relationship headcanons for Kirishima or Shinso? :3

hi! im so glad you enjoyed my Bakugou headcannons! I hope this kirishima one fits to your liking! sending lots of love <33

i definitely think kirishima first ends up seeing you talking to mina on a random day. you and her are just talking about dance when you two are suddenly interrupted by the outgoing redhead inquiring about who you are.

he suddenly realizes that you had went to junior high with them but had never really hung out with the popular group due to having a close circle of friends- one of whom is mina.

"actually? I never saw you..!" he chuckled rubbing his neck with a slight blush, you just wave it off with a quick smile, "nah dont worry bout it.."

well fuck... now at least kirishima knows what exactly he likes the most about you. your gut wrenching, heart pumping, adorable ass smile.

would immediately try and get mina to help him out with you in every. single. way.

"mina, whats her favorite color? And chocolate? To add to that thought- flowers as well. god mina I sound desperate!"

poor baby is so whipped for you he actually cant even manage to hide it in front of you.

kirishimas the type of person to rant to his friends about you with absolutely no knowledge about his surroundings. so much so that he doesnt realize you can hear him occasionally..

do you mind? of course not! its not like you dont have a small- okay fine. major thing for the red head as well...

"kiriiiii..!" groans mina, "stop obsessing over her and just confess goddamnt!" she exclaims frustrated while throwing her hands in the air.

"tell who what?" you grin overhearing their conversation.

you look at the two confused before mina starts, "you see y/n, kirishima here has a-" until you see a hand slapped over her mouth.

"nothing!" grins kirishima quickly. you nod slowly before you see mina side eyeing him with a knowing glance. "fine.." sighs kirishima dropping his hands.

"as i was saying.. our little man over here has a fat crush on you" she says nonchalantly, shrugging her shoulders. you immediately break out a shit eating grin, "oh- yeah i kinda know.. he isnt very good at hiding things..." you chuckle.

"why didnt you say anything!" whines kirishima, "you couldve saved me so much time and effort!" completely forgetting that you hadnt given an answer to his confession.

"because i thought it was cute.." you admit with slightly flushed cheeks. you look away to avoid making eye contact before you feel kirishimas hands wrapping around your torso.

"so you like me back then right? please say that means you like me back.." he exclaims happily into your neck.

you just smile and wrap your arms back around him to give him his answer.

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azrielslightintheshadows · 5 months

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Could i make a request for Cassian where him and reader aren't a thing yet but she has been in love with him for centuries but because she is so insecure and shy she doesnt have it in her to tell Cassian. So later on when nesta comes in, reader sees him spending a lot of time with nesta and reader thinks her chances are over with Cassian and is upset and starts isolating herself, not eating and getting weaker. The whole inner circle is confused by her change and worried, and finally when cassian realises, he comes in and tells reader he loves her and wants her only. They could end up being mates too...upto you!!

Forever yours.

Cassian x f!Reader.

Masterlist.

Warnings; angst.

I had so much fun writing this! Hope you enjoy it.

“Give it back” you screamed as the five young boys held your diary. They were taller than you and you couldn’t reach it. You were in the middle of a circle they created with their bodies jumping to reach your diary as they laughed.

“Come on, just get it shortie” one of them yelled.

“Please” your voice was breaking. The tallest one was shaking your diary above his head tearing some pages with the motion.

“If I were you I would give it back” a new voice sounded. The boys turned in the direction it came from. They were so tall that you couldn’t see who it was, just the top of his head since he was taller than them, black hair was the only thing you could see.

“We’re not you though. But thanks for the advice” one of the boys snorted.

“It’s not an advice, it’s a warning.”

“What are you going to do about that bastard?” The tallest one said.

You didn’t see anything else than a blur, he moved so fast… you only heard some cracking and groans. Three of the boys ran away while the other two including the one who had your diary were on the ground, blood was pouring down their noses. And then you saw him, a boy… he looked a bit older than you, black hair that reached his chin and the most beautiful hazel eyes you had ever seen.

“I think this belongs to you” he smiled and gave you the diary.

“Thank you” you smiled and hugged him.

And that was how you and Cassian met almost 500 years ago. You grew up in an Illyrian camp, and because you were high fae; the Illyrian kids loved to make fun of you and hurt you. One of the women found you one day in the woods and took you in. The lord of the camp felt pity for you and let her raise you there. You later on found out that the residents of the nearby village used to sacrifice their first born if it was a female to the cauldron in order to conceive a male next time. You didn’t know who your parents were and didn’t really care, if they were able to leave a baby in the woods then you didn’t want to meet them anyway.

Cassian became your protector after the incident and as the years passed you fell in love with him. It was hard to be in love with someone like Cass, he is a stunning male in every way possible and gets a lot of attention from the females. The other reason why it is so hard is that he is so loud and outgoing while you are shy and quiet. You couldn’t see how it would work out for the two of you if you ever became something more than friends, so you kept your mouth shut and never revealed your feelings. He would never bother with a female like me. You always thought.

Then you moved to Velaris and Rhysand gave you some duties as a healer so you kept yourself occupied and didn’t really think about the whole situation with Cassian anymore.

Later on, Feyre burst into your life and everything changed for the better, you two became good friends and you strongly believed that she discovered your feelings about him, yet she never said anything so you weren’t sure.

But even though Feyre’s arrival brought you so much joy, you couldn’t say the same about her sisters -especially Nesta. The oldest Archeron sister was something made out of the worst nightmare, she gave migraines to everyone in the inner circle and especially Rhysand. In order to create some peace Cassian approached her and helped her overcome her addictions and fears and finally embrace what she became when she emerged from the Cauldron. You had never felt more proud of him.

The pride though didn’t last long as the jealousy crept in; Cassian would spend more and more time with Nesta and completely ignore you and the plans you made and even though you always thought you didn’t have a chance with him this time you were sure about that. How could you ever compete with her? She was absolutely gorgeous and talented, she moved gracefully as she grew up in a wealthy family -at least until they bankrupted- and she was confident and strong. You on the other hand felt like a joke in front of her… you didn’t feel as beautiful as her, you didn’t have her grace you were raised in an Illyrian camp for crying out loud and you weren’t confident at all.

You believed that you could handle the pain and move on but things never go as we hope.

At first you missed training and when Cassian didn’t even notice… you were devastated so you stopped eating too. This was not a decision you made, you just completely lost your appetite. You were getting weaker and thinner as the days went by and suddenly lost every ounce of energy for social interaction. You skipped the night outs and shopping trips with Mor, you stopped hanging out with everyone and missed every dinner. The rest of the inner circle seemed to notice that and tried to approach you but you brushed them off.

You groaned as you heard noise from the dining room, Rhysand once again decided to have a dinner party in the house of wind -your house.

You couldn’t understand why he wouldn’t have those in the river house. You shut your bedroom’s door and laid on your bed. Maybe if you slept no one would try to bother you.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

Dining room

“What are we going to do about y/n?” Rhysand asked with a worried look on his face.

Cassian glanced around in confusion.

“Why what’s wrong with her?” He was panicking.

“Are you serious?” Mor exclaimed. “When was the last time she came to training? Or to dinner? Or anywhere?”

“She has lost way too much weight” Azriel added.

Cassian’s eyebrows were furrowed as he thought everything his friends said. He was trying so hard to help Nesta in order to keep his high lord and high lady -brother and sister at this point- happy that he didn’t notice what was happening to you. He started thinking about when he last saw you acting like your old self. It was a few days after Nesta appeared…that was the last time you smiled at him. And then he realised why.

He didn’t hear anything else they said, he just abruptly stood up and hurried off to your room.

✩₊˚.⋆☾⋆⁺₊✧

You heard footsteps down the hall and you shut your eyes again, making your breath even and parting your lips… hoping you would be able to trick whoever was coming to get you. There was a soft knock on your door and when you didn’t reply you heard it open.

Someone walked slowly towards your bed and sat down next to you. His musky scent with a little bit of spice made your heart beat faster.

Cassian.

You felt a hand caressing your cheek and his voice soft and melodic as he spoke.

“Doll, I know you’re not sleeping… I taught you this remember?”

You wanted to cry, he always knew when you lied… it was like he knew every part of your soul and maybe he did… after all he taught you everything you now know, you grew up together.

You opened your eyes and glanced at him. He was so beautiful, you just stared at him not sure what to say. Cassian pulled the duvet off you and scanned your body.

“They were right you have lost way too much weight” he frowned. You only nodded.

“What is going on doll please talk to me” he pleaded.

“Nothing I’m okay” you muttered and tried to turn your back on him to no avail since he grabbed your hip and laid you again on your back.

“You don’t get to do this baby. Talk to me!”

“I’m fine Cassian leave. Nesta is probably wondering where the hell you are.” You shouted, surprising both Cassian and you.

“So that’s what this is all about. Nesta…” Cassian smiled once you confirmed his initial thoughts.

“Are you in love with me?” He asked, the smile never leaving his face.

You shook your head, you didn’t want to destroy your friendship.

“That’s a shame, because I’m completely and utterly in love with you.” You gaped at him. “From the moment I saw that little short girl crying and jumping in that circle I knew that she was the one for me. And I promised to love and protect her until my last breath. And because of that promise I didn’t want to tell you that I’m in love with you just in case I ruined our friendship and you distanced yourself.”

You didn’t know what to say, tears filled your eyes and he wiped away the few that escaped with his thumbs.

“Cass…” you whispered.

“I love you and only you forever” he whispered back and pressed his forehead against yours.

“I love you so much that it hurts” you replied.

And then he captured your lips with his own, the kiss soft yet needy. Sparkles erupted in your stomach and then you both froze.

You felt your chest tightening and then it snapped. You gasped and stared at Cassian wide-eyed… his eyes filled with tears and he chuckled.

“We are mates” you smiled.

“Yes we are, and I am the luckiest bastard on this world” he grinned and you slapped his chest.

Everything was going to be alright you thought as you let your mate pull you in his strong arms.

Princess chapter 3 coming tomorrow! Requests are open!

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smrtnik07 · 25 days

Text

librarians redesigned!!! by me!!! :)

the designs are free to use, i used this as a character design exercise for myself while recovering from carpal tunnel issues! read more for all the individual designs + me ranting :*

first off roland!! i included an angelica in here, i designed her before him, shes very triangular to me.. maybe a bit more messed up than roland tells us about, he is a biased narrator afterall. anyways i wanted his design to match hers nicely, so hes like a rounded square type of guy... i think projmoon designed him to be Just A Guy intentionally, so i played into it. overall the least interesting design of the bunch imo. its on purpose :)

angela !!! my baby :) an important thing here is her bangs. i dont want her hair to be able to recover from however many years she spent with the hard middle part in lobcorp, i think its cute to incorporate it still. swoopy, fluffy hair for her! and the clothes are just a bit more casual idk the librarian uniforms were kinda boring and stiff to me, as much as it does go with her character.. if u wanna be human u gotta experience the joy of sweatpants or whatever. also i didnt add color but i dont want her to be fully white<3 or fully clear skinned.. give her sunspots on her face. she finally gets to experience sun. :)

guess ill go in order of appearance lol. malkuth! whats the headband for if it doesnt keep anything out of her face!! since shes a bit more active than some of her colleagues, i also gave her a ponytail(its also for the silhouette...) also gave her some chubbier thighs.. also maybe a butler-esque coat, at least to me; i just made it a bit more form fitting than the original. playing into her personality or whatever. shes cute.. remember to take deep breaths!!

yesod!! i want to play into the skin issues a bit more, i still removed his gloves but i gave him a poncho, not just for the square silhouette im trying to build but for more coverage. also emo hair over eyes was funny. also wide flare pants for you, boy. just very square and put together in general

hod! this ones my favorite (i even cared enough to give her a pattern on that skirt!!) it was kinda bugging me how in the artbook i couldnt tell who was writing because hod's, malkuth's, and tiphereth's colors are so similar. so hod is pink now, and malkuth a bit more orange. i kinda went for a romantic poet thing here, dunno how much that worked out, but i think out of everyone you can tell shes the literature girl. gave her pigtails !! theyre cute :> also since i removed the coat decoration off of angela, i gave part of it to hod in the bottom of her coat :). cute and round!

netzach is a very strange man to me.. ellipse shape and loose fitting clothes for u. if i saw him irl i wouldnt approach him. not to say i dont like him as a character, i love him, but i want him to look like a depressed guy who would pick up art as a hobby to distract himself and it works. bro is just surviving out there. also gave him comfy clothes to make the surviving easier, down to the shoes and wide, id assume non-denim pants - maybe cotton? maybe sweatpants that dont fit around the ankle? who knows.

tiphereth!! since she's like the teen girl of the group i gave her a skater dress, converse, and a tied coat around her waist.. like how i used to wear as a teen when i was being a hater and recovering from a death in the family that changed my entire life (im still a teen ... 9 more days till im 20 as of posting this). also gave her fishnets i think she would like that. i imagine she would get headaches bc of those dumb braids on her head<3 or maybe bc her coworkers are kinda dumb<3

gebura :) round face, reverse triangle shaped body.. like a true butch lesbian stereotype.. i decided a leather jacket, docs and pants i see metalheads wear would fit her! red leather jacket, of course. also gave her spiky hair just like projmoon did<3 my favorite detail here are the eyebrows, i think their shape is rlly neat! nvm i think its just that gebura is rlly neat. anyways the eyebrows fit her

chesed my boy.. idk i just saw him and hit him with the transmasc beam and gave him , as the kids say, wh0re eyes. i wanted him to have rounder hips and just be round in general. turtleneck and cardigan combo also, i think he would like wearing that. also somewhat curlier hair, or at least wavy would do him well! and a tote bag, i dont doubt that he would go out to read in coffee shops if he could - so he gets a tote bag to carry his sociology books. i want him to look like he would give the warmest, comfiest hugs and be friend shaped

binah!! this one was the most challenging, trying to find the right place for the colors - to not use too little or too much yellow. i still dont think i got it right but this is as close as im getting. long face, long nose, siren-ish eyes.. messed up in the head bird lady that speaks like hannibal! i also dont think a dress really suits her so i opted for wide pants and a fancy black button up .. maybe angela styled her, who knows. also black fingertips which is a trait i like to give the arbiters (including an oc).. just my own little consistency thing i like to do :)

hi grandpa! ok for hokma i dont think the changes are that big? i gave him O shaped legs and his sword thing i turned into a walking cane, gave him a vest (didnt want to opt for a corset but i think he would enjoy the back support for proper posture) . also gave him a mild gradient from darker gray to lighter gray, since he IS the gray part of the ABC trio. gave him salt and pepper hair and an older face. forgot to draw it, but i wanted to give him a silicone tip for the sword so it doesnt dull out, which he can take off when recieving guests

honorary mention to go along with the angelica i mentioned with roland, i mildly changed up her twin(k) brother. i gave argalia and angie the same hair but mirrored, his a bit more curly and hers a bit more spikey, his face a bit more edgy, hers a bit rounder and kinder. not much else to say here, i liked his design as is, but wanted to add him here :)

#library of ruina #project moon #art i made #big project done wooo ! :) im proud of myself for setting a goal and sticking to it. are you proud of me. tell me youre proud of me

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bladiegfs · 1 year

Note

hello!! ur theme is so cute omg <3 may i request blade’s s/o (can be gn!) spending more time with a cat they adopted and he got jealous and he decides to cling to his s/o 😭😭 sorry if this doesnt make sense wiendidnf

take ur time writing it 🫶🫶

thank u!!! don't worry anon it makes perfect sense in fact it feels like my third eye was opened the moment i saw this on my inbox

glue

➵ warning(s) applicable: none

➵ wc: 1.1k

➵ blade has found his new rival— it came in the form of a dark-furred animal with four paws and orange eyes. he eyes it as you coddle it and sing a song. …it’s decided. this has gone too far. it’s his turn to be cuddled and coddled now.

It was a mistake— no, this whole thing was a mistake.

At first, it seemed like a good idea to him. In fact, he was the one who got the idea— he knew you love cats. So did he; he found the little creatures interesting and maybe just a tad bit cute. But you, on the other hand… you frequently gushed (clutching your chest, cooing, everything) over cat videos.

Cat videos. On the screen. It’s not even the real thing right before your eyes yet you acted like this.

But he thought that the smile on your face was far too precious and that it would definitely make you happy to have a cat of your own or a ‘furbaby’, as Bronie calls it.

When he proposed the idea, you instantly nodded. Then, you reveal a sickening number of tabs open on your phone, all containing research about the best way to take care of cats. He recalls the time you were complaining about your phone moving so slowly; he was about to ask you how long literally hundreds of tabs have been open on it, but then you give him that beaming smile that he’s always (secretly) felt weak to, and the question gets thrown to oblivion.

And just a day after that, you two were home with a cute little bundle of joy (your words, not his) and you were smiling unstoppably. To him, the cat wasn’t anything particularly remarkable. However, its black fur paired with orange eyes has apparently intrigued you.

“What are you gonna name him?”

“Pepper,” You reply, looking down at the cat. “Isn’t it fitting?”

“Pepper? That’s more like a dog’s name to me.”

You only laugh as the cat peacefully curls up atop your lap, looking much like a bundle of darkness rather than joy. Blade’s spot, he thinks. That’s where he rests his head as he naps or simply absentmindedly scrolls through his phone, but he lets it pass— it’s good to let the cat become very accustomed to you. It shouldn’t be a challenge to get the cat to warm up to you; perhaps he was biased, but if you asked him, he’d say it’s very easy to like you.

Months pass and Blade does get proven right; Pepper has given his verdict as to who his favorite parent is and, predictably, it’s you. You and Pepper work in tandem half the time— whenever the cat isn’t asleep, anyway. Wherever you go, Pepper goes.

Now: Pepper did like Blade, yes, but the cat was attached to you to the point that you couldn’t even take a piss without it scratching at the door to be let in. And on the other hand, you’ve taken to affectionately calling Pepper your son.

And this son… is coming in between his parents.

You see, earlier this day, Blade had been minding his business. It’s a weekend, and he’s sitting in bed, watching a show. You were right beside him, leaning onto him as your eyes are cast on the screen before you.

But after a while, before you two even knew it, watching turns into kissing.

“Ren…” You mutter against his lips as you lay below Blade. You were about to open your mouth to say something when suddenly, a walking nightmare on four legs slipped between Blade’s and your body.

And Pepper hisses at Blade.

“Aw, Pepper!” You turn to the cat, taking it in your arms. Blade parts from you, opting to lay beside you as you coo over your son, saying something about how he’s so adorable.

He watches as Pepper gets showered in kisses. “Aw, my cutesy, does Pepper want kisses too?”

Blade does, but that cat in your arms interrupted you two. He turns his eyes back to the television, slightly disgruntled. But once more, he lets it pass. After all, he did like Pepper too, even with all his kiss-stealing tendencies. Pepper was as much his… ‘son’ as much as it was yours.

He thinks that the cat must’ve sensed Blade’s somewhat lax behavior towards it; today, it’s really pushing its luck.

Lunchtime? Pepper rubbed his head all over your legs until you decide to give him some of the food on your plate despite the fact that he already had his own lunch and finished it with much vigor. Oh, what about the afternoon? You spent it playing with Pepper until he fell asleep. Dinnertime? Same modus as lunch.

And now… well, now, as you sit in bed, Pepper laid on your lap as though it was his personal seat. You didn’t seem bothered about it, not even one bit— in fact, you hummed as you pet its head affectionately.

And Blade? He’s sitting right beside you, phone in hand as he side-eyes Pepper.

This has gone too far. Isn’t it his time to be coddled too?

He wraps an arm around your shoulder, making you lean towards him. You oblige with a smile on your face but eyes still on Pepper. With his actions, the cat turns its head toward Blade and he swears to everything holy that the cat definitely must be annoyed at him. The only thing missing is for it to hiss at him again.

Eyes narrowed and looking directly at Pepper, Blade presses a kiss against your temple.

The cat stares back at him.

His arm tightens around your shoulder and his free hand reaches for yours—

“Ren, you’re a lot more clingy today,” You comment, finally looking at Blade. Then, you notice the expression on his face. You follow his eyes and you find yourself looking right at your son.

You cannot help the laughter bubbling up your stomach. It was ridiculous to you; was Blade having a silent competition with Pepper?

At the sound of your laughter, Blade’s glare at Pepper finally breaks and he looks at you, asking, “What?”

“Nothing,” You answer, sparing Blade the shame of having to admit silently declaring rivalry with Pepper. “You want kisses?”

“...Why’re you talking to me like I’m Pepper?”

You repeat, ignoring Blade’s reply, “You want kisses?”

Silence. Then, “Yes.”

You take Pepper in your arms, lifting him from your lap. You then put Pepper down on the bed before you turn your body to Blade. Your eyes flicker from Blade’s eyes and to his lips, then you lean even closer to finally kiss him.

His arms wrap around your body, holding you closer. Even as you pull away, he doesn’t let go of you.

So your hunch was right. With a smile on your face, you play with his hair, pushing his bangs away from his eyes. “I’ll make it up to you, alright? I’ll cuddle you and sing for you too, so you don’t have to sulk anymore.”

Blade defensively answers, “Who said I was sulking?”

“Oh? Do you not want me to cu—”

“I didn’t say that,” Blade interrupts. Then, in a quieter voice, almost as if he’s embarrassed, “I wouldn’t be jealous because of a cat.”

“I didn’t say anything about Pepper, though?”

“...Damn it.”

#maddie's corner!#honkai star rail x reader #hsr x reader #blade x reader #! ballad

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blamemma · 7 months

Note

do you have any recommendations for maxiel authors to follow here on tumblr?

babe i got a list as long as my body probably (for size reference i am 5"'10) but again let me preface this WITH if i leave u out it doesnt mean i hate ur writing just means its 22:36 here and i am tired and brains not at full capacity

@lilyrizzy for ur heartbreak, but also warmth

@thewindowatkirkland always gives me cosy family vibes, mixed with a bit of horny

@flawlessassholes heard she;s got a GREAT single dad daniel fic going at the moment and also other lil delights

@powerful-owl PHD in freak

@officialmood PHD in fucked up vibes to the third degree...also clouded with tenderness as well though

@lights-out-go my gender-bending fic queen always a horny joy to explore

@toastandvegemite bottom daniel mother, truly, ground-breaking, integral work, inspiration to us all

@fourmula1 can truly produce the softest warmest cup of hot cocoa fic but can also pour u a straight glass of whisky and heat u right up!

and honestly one author that springs to mind on ao3 who anytime i get an email that they've posted anything on ao3 i read almost straight away is wonderlandz but i dont think they have tumblr!!

and there are soooooo many more who i dont follow, or i maybe havent even discovered yet and PLEASE if u have others u would like to recommend plz reblog this and add to it AND if u wanna rec urself or ur own fic do it, absolutely nothing shameless about that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#again i could rec sooooooooooo many people or fics like give me a vibe and i have a fic for u just gotta ENGAGE xxxx #anon #asks #maxiel

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shygirl4991 · 5 months

Text

SMG3 Sussy Notebook

ima tag smg3 sussy notebook spoilers and have the pics of the notebook under read more so you can pick if ya wanna see the notebook! These are highlights and not every page!

now that we have the pw for club penguin we can all log in and get all the cool skins, honestly i feel if mario just guess the password it wouldnt take him long to get it xD be faster then stealing the notebook and all

ah yes the start of the worlds longest slowburn its a super funny thought that right out the usb he gets his notebook and goes this bitch here ima make him my life rival

oh shit shout out to these two that showed up in SMG3 Gauntlet of gloom

suuuure buddy keep telling yourself that, seems even tho SMG3 marked him as his rival and hated him over what happen in college he still wanted to hang out with 4 and be friends but its not like he cares or anything...baka!

lmao the censor on what happen in the igloo ah yes nothing but hugging happen there nothing to M rated xD im guessing the real book in universe might have it a bit more detail given the big deal it was for wotfi 2023

we really dont talk about that hug

did...did i call it in my fic that this man legit is crazy about beans and hot sauce im dying i guess when your the bad guy with low budget for food you get use to the good classic beans and hot sauce

oh honey thats not how that works xD this man is smart but also oh so dumb i think he gets that from his avatar that and he is a few years fresh from the usb Update: @alianarepasa let me know its from a mad max episode i manage to miss it was a fun watch and now i understand what this means xD these peeps really went wild without internet poor toad

pifft im guessing he has masters degree specialized in psychology? other wise idk how he is a psychologist and he seems to be a good one from what we have seen but who knows he could be bullshitting his way through how evil xD

both our boys are ready to ride forklifts into the sunset someone draw this please xD

im laughing i guess SMG3 isnt much a fan of boopkins but seems he really enjoys being with the crew he wont say it but im sure he is a happy bean to finally be with the cool kids after years of being jealous.

he says but give this man eggdog or eggdog memes and he becomes Tari in a second

hey lads we found the page from SMG4 We Dont Talk About What Happened in the Elevator

he wants a castle but ended up with a sick lair in a coffee shop i think thats better!

okay putting my shipping heart away this is so interesting to me like he starts off thinking 4 is a loser and makes him his rival then gets jealous he has these friends and he isnt apart of them. We know SMG3 is lonely and lost as he doesn't know his purpose before becoming lord of the graveyard now being apart of the crew and now knowing who is he, SMG3 is much happier and closer to the crew. But the way he writes this feels like he likes the close contact with 4 and while he doesnt want to admit it could it be he legit does have romantic feelings? idk i feel these past episodes and this part really gets me thinking they have something here to really make smg34 canon naturally and not have the way they act with each other be to different might go more into this later.

this sparks joy thank you for including this and thats it for my ted talk thanks for reading again this is just my highlights i dont want to post the whole notebook here just stuff that gets my mind going!

#smg3 sussy notebook #smg3 sussy notebook spoilers #shay talks about the notebook #smg3 #smg4

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amaet · 5 months

Text

i said i will post things here, goddamit, and I WILL

so heres some life/creative updates

i will start by saying i feel super bad for not posting anywhere regularly. i suppose the brain worm of building engagement online has gotten to me too. but the truth is, if i want to build an audience for my project, i have to post. of course on the other hand i dont want to post some of the things i have, because they are spoilery and i want them to be revealed later!! dilemmas.

that said, the story is definitely taking shape. one of the reasons im hesitant of sharing it in any form is because its in constant flux. i build some of it and then i tear it down, reshaping it into something significantly different. (I wont give you context for those images just yet because of that) im a perfectionist, and i refuse to make a story that wont click as a whole. it has to be the best i can physically make it to be. so im writing out plot points, characters and their motivations, im making documents with lore. it has to click. and i think it might finally be getting to that point.

on the broader side of things, burnout doesnt help. i feel a black hole in my chest and its cold. it drains joy out of things. i suppose the reason is my isolation. i live in a very comfortable way right now, people have always been taking care of me. but i have no financial independence and i dont go out. i dont have art friends (or one than one irl friend, really). i dont go out to do traditional art, and those are all the things i want to do. i kinda feel like a plant that wants to sprout but its growing underneath something and its starting to wilt. its fucking pathetic. i feel so fucking ashamed to admit to people what my living situation is. im like a basement dweller redditor taken care for by his mom until hes 45. well, its not like that, but i sure fucking feel like it is.

im 29. its getting late. existential dread is really kicking in that im not living. im starting to panic. like my best years are behind me. and if i continue that way, everything will blow right by me.

i dont know what to do to be honest. i will continue to stumble around, maybe i will eventually recover to the point i will actually look for a normal art job (im aiming for 3d character artist) and have some money which will buy me some flexibility. it would also solve the problem of my stagnation. i would meet people, make things, i would get out of the house, and i would fucking wash myself regularly. yes its tmi but thats how depression be like. i feel like a wheel that is stuck in mud. that first push is the hardest.

but, to be fully honest, i am getting a little better. i still struggle with getting up regularly but its all better than it used to be, at least. so there is hope.

also i have to name this project. im thinking of 'benthic millenium' or something similar. i like the word millenium, and it fits.

so, um, see you later i guess? i will probably post some more character and location concept art sometime in the future, since i dont want to share any of the story outside of the actual comic. and thanks for reading my depressing rambling!

#headcanon

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dead-dove-yandere · 18 days

Note

Yandere x insecure reader

Yandere who change his completely opposite personality (from non chalant and rigid to cheery and chaos personality where he ofcourse force himself) as what his darling wants, so that he could look like her previous ex, where they dating but the darling didnt get the vibe(?) And sometimes call him by her previous ex by accident, but he understand her, everytime darling feel doubt about their relationship (since she felt unloved except she receive affection from her ex and because she doesnt have feelings), he would always think some kind like "its okay she see him as someone else, he'll be the one who love her for who she is" he tried to convince his darling by keeping up the positive vibe but actually he try very hard to brush his negative thought. I hope youre understand T_T

Hello I am back!! Think I’m better now, touch wood. I have to get into the habit of writing everyday now again so please bear with me if I’m slow!! Im really sorry it took so long and thank you for being patient.

I wrote this as Noah and kinda did so that they know each other already but the darling doesn’t know he’s stalking them - hope that’s alright!! And I hope that I got your idea right too. My brain is still fuzzy 😔

TW: Stalking, obsession, manipulation

You smile at Noah as you spot him across the cafe and you hold your hand up to wave. He smiles when he spots you and holds up his hand to wave back as you walk over to his table. Is that a new shirt he’s wearing? It looks just like… you try to banish the image of your ex out of your mind as you sit down across from Noah.

“Hi!” You greet. “Traffic was hell.”

“Hey,” he says back, his voice deeper than usual. It was obvious he was putting on a voice, but you felt awkward mentioning it.

“How have you been? Are you alright?”

“Yeah, I’m okay,” you say, an uneasy waver tainting your words. “Same old.”

“You still think about Adam?” Noah asks, a sympathetic smile on his face. He’s trying to sit up straight but he’s wringing his hands, resisting the urge to pick at the skin around his nails.

“It doesn’t matter,” you say, dismissively. “I should’ve… well, I could have been a better partner to him. You know?” Noah’s brow knits together and he leans closer, his smile faded.

“You did your best - if he couldn’t appreciate that, then that’s not your fault.” It was your turn to give a pathetic smile.

“Thanks, Adam,” you said without thinking. Your eyes widen and you quickly cover your mouth with your hand.

“Sorry - Noah. Oh my god.”

“No, hey, it’s -“

“I’m so sorry, Jesus, I shouldn’t have-“

“Hey, hey, it’s alright! You’ve got him on your mimd. It happens.” You shakily let out a sigh and nod.

“Yeah,” you agree. “Yeah. Erm, sorry. You’re right.” Your heart is pounding a million miles an hour, your mind racing as you prayed that the ground would just swallow you up and you’d be out of this nightmare. You could feel Noah’s eyes on you, inspecting you, and you tried not to think of any and every flaw that you had picked apart in the mirror after your ex left, trying to figure out why he never gave you the affection you were desperate for.

Noah, meanwhile, looked calm outside, but inside he was bursting with joy. He could hardly believe it - you had, for a split second, thought that he was your ex. After so much work, so many hours reviewing the footage he had of you and Adam together, recreating every outfit, changing his hair, his cologne, his voice, anything and everything he could think of, he’d done it - he was one step closer to being the man you loved. Only he knew he could be even better once he had you and treated your right. He checked his phone and out of your view, looked at his lockscreen; a picture of you and Adam together when you were still dating. Only this time, Noah could finally imagine that it was him in the photo next to you. Not the bastard ex that made you so insecure in the first place.

Dividers Credit: See Pinned Post

#yancore #yandere #yandere blog #yandere fic #yandere imagines #yandere oc #yandere x darling #yandere drabble #yandere oc x reader #Ask #Story #Noah

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yellowbluemoonshine · 2 months

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Hi,

I see you finished Monster and are quite versed in Johan. Can you help me understand the depth of his character better? I feel like many people miss the point of it. Also I'd like to know why you like him so much.

Oh, there is so much to say about him but i will try to make it short as possible.

Lets Talk About Johan;

First of all, i heard his character as some 'evil' mastermind so i wasnt really interested in his character until i experience the story by myself. I wondered why this series is popular so i decided to give a chance. I tought Johan was like Afo (from Bnha) but he turn out to be a lot like Shigaraki lol.

What makes a character depth is if they are not one-dimensional, that there is a more than how they seem from surface. And Johan fits well since he is mysterious character who is seen as angel, monster, devil, basically anything but human but they end up failing to understand him because if he was so simple, police would've catch him a long time ago.

At the start of series, he seems like your usual dangerous serial killer which fits the psychological thriller theme of story. And one of the best thing in series is his connection with Tenma. A doctor saves his life and this dangerous killer starts to view him as parent figure. A killer who see no worth in life and the doctor who thinks every life is equal, especially saving Johan is the reason he starts to to be able to live his life as a real doctor. Only to learn the child whom he saved turn out to be serial killer.

Tenma feels responsible for this and goes to journey to kill Johan. During this journey, we aldo discover some hints of what made Johan the way he is. The irony is we get the hints and a lot of characters perspective of him, everyone except Johan.

Is his messages about 'the monster inside of him' serious or not? Tenma assumes Johan is enjoying this at first, then he assumes Johan has multiple personality disorder. And later when he talked with other doctor, he assumes Johan is just playing with him because thats what most serial killers do with police. This is interesting because all of those end up being wrong. Johan doesnt enjoy from killing people. Johan doesnt have DID. Johan didnt write those messages to play with them. We know this because we later learn that he is unconciously imitate the fairytale stories he read as child.

Meanwhile, he has fanclub. A lot of murderers admire Johan because they view him as destruction Buddha. Just like others, he is seen as monster but why though? Its not like he is the only killer in the world. And personally, a lot of characters are more 'evil' than him so the thing about Johan is; he treats human life as nothing. Not just other people but also himself. Thats what makes him so scary to everyone. He doesnt even do it out of joy, money, statue. He looks like the devil in human form. He spreads misery to world. (Thats why he burns library when they said "its humanity's treasure" LoL.)

To people, that is scary. When they look at Johan, his eyes, the see someone who has no identity (nameless world). They see someone who treats life like as a game. Which explains why many people are afraid of him.

Some also want to use him, such as they want him to make second Hitler and he is like 'Nope'.

I think the main reason i love Johan is that he is like a magician. He can create a beautifull illusion. He is someone who can touch people's hearths because how well he understands them. Which is why he is seen as angel when people dont know he kills people.

This is also why he can use other killers for himself. He can see their vulnerabilities. Because even a killer is still human and they might need acceptance, to be understood by someone. Johan can give it to them. And they wish they were like Johan because they think everything would be a lot easier for them to kill others, like some kind of edgy teens. They fail to understand the person they want to be is extremely miserable.

On other hand, Johan can use his skills with curing people. Such as him waking Suk's mother, he made her remember her son again. Though he does things with ulterior motives, same skills can be used for good things. He can make people happy or miserable by little things. With a little magic or just skill.

And even though he is villain, he has very relaxing voice. He is very elegant. He listens other people. This fits perfectly well with his manipulative character.

We also never know when he is sincere or not because when you think he doesnt he actually seem to care, such as when he cried for Karl. Apperantly, tears were real. He is always in his world, its so funny when you think about he is some kind of mastermind.

Also his interaction with kids is so interesting. I think he geniuely enjoys being around them. Otherwise, why would he bother to spend time with them, why would he know so much about child's rights, why would he look for picture book for a friend? This is the same guy who encourage kids to rooftop game (and the scene where he was projecting on Milos) which is messed up. It gives me chills. His nihisilism, him viewing life as game end up resulting him expressing love as twisted.

----

Later, everything changes when Johan finds certain book in library. Basically, Johan's character doesnt necessarely stay same during the series. He changes his motives from unconciously imitating nameless monster stories to find actual monster who ruined his life. Even though he does messed up things, everything about his character makes sense with that scene. Johan geniuely believed that he is nameless monster. Johan geniuely believed that he doesnt exist.

Everything about him makes sense because it explains why he doesnt think death as much of it. Because if someone doesnt exist, they cant be killed. If someone doesnt exist, they cant be responsible for killings. He is detached from reality. Its not that he didnt feel. Its that he doesnt view it as real the way other people does. Because Johan isnt there. This is the tragedy of Johan's story. He doesnt have name. He doesnt have identity. He feels as he doesnt exist.

The famous 'monster' tape everyone after is about a child unable to see the difference between fairytale story and reality. 'My name is Johan. My name is Thomas. My name is Hans. My name is Otto.' He is them but he is neither of them. Johan views Anna as his half, as Anna is the real one and he is fake copy. He killed people as child, not because he is evil but because he geniuely thought that monster is coming after them. He cant even separate his own memories from Anna's. He takes all bad memories both to protect Anna and other reason is to become someone. He wanted to have identity, he wanted to live so bad but he didnt have on his own so he took it from others, just like the nameless monster.

This is also why Johan is also affected by Tenma's saving him. He probably wondered Tenma wouldnt save him, if he knew he was monster. He was kinda right because Tenma regretted his decision but he was wrong because Tenma couldnt shoot him and he saved him the second time. He showed him that he has right to live, he has right to exist, and that he has a name so he is not monster. This is why Johan can open up his worst insecurities. And they really give father-son energy and i think thats cute. I am glad that even after years Tenma visists him at hospital.

And we can guess what happened at the end thanks to Grimmer (one of the characters who deserves better), 'The monster become human at the end'. and Lunge said that if he were not a human being, he would not leave a trace, only humans leave a trace. For the first time we see Johan leave his mark. So Johan is no longer a monster, just a human. Also, his real name doesnt matter, he is Johan to us/all.

I love the messages of story. There is a monster inside all of us, but we can contain/heal it and after all, we are all human, our lives are equally valuable and stealing a person's name is the biggest crime, so having a name is very important. Story still has certain writing issues but generally, it is good story. Johan is well written character because his story is such a journey. We cant even really appreaciate the story without fully understand Johan. Every scene he is in meaningfull. And personally, i think his story is very empathic because of how tragic he is. Also sometimes he looks so funny and weird which makes him entertaining. He is such a good character.

Though you are right, anon. Many people still misinterpret the story, especially his character but anyway, there are still people who makes great analysis about him. Such as this analysis made by @cyanogoth.

Its ironic that most/some main villains have the most interesting and sempathic backstories, even though they are supposed to be 'big evil' or something but in reality, they are not really.

Anyway, he is fun to think about, i love him, lol.

#anon ask #johan liebert #tenma kenzo #tragic villain #naoki urasawa's monster meta #monster meta #monster #monster analysis #character study #character analysis #monster naoki urasawa #naoki urasawa #naoki urasawa's monster

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