#it also makes him ahead of his era because at that point people definitely did not give a damn about disabled people

[idiosyncraticrednebula]

I will always find the fact that Eric loved and accepted Ariel as she was, presumably mute (without being aware of what had taken place prior at all) to be very loving and amazing. That goes to show how much he loved her and also how much of a compassionate and patient person he was. This is also the only Disney Princess couple where one party wasn't even human, and that did not bother him at all, either. I think that's a great message to send to children, and since the movie has a leading lady, to girls, specifically. You will be able to find a guy who loves and accepts you as you are and will support you in your dreams.

#ariel #eric #disney #the little mermaid #meta #disney meta #character analysis #txt #it also makes him ahead of his era because at that point people definitely did not give a damn about disabled people #and eric just assumed ariel to be disabled but he still loved her no matter what #and ariel has also been read as an autistic character which would even more subtext to the relationship #i love stanning the best disney princess and prince 💁🏽‍♀️ #honestly i think that movie did that message slightly better than batb tbh #don't get me wrong i love that movie but tlm prolly did it better

[harrywritingsbyme]

I Just Called To Say I Love You

Prompt: You don’t like talking on the phone, but Harry always calls you instead of texting. Harry later admits it’s because he just wants to hear your voice.

A/N: I may be a lil rusty so don’t judge me…I just wanted to write a cute ’n cliche lil something to post on here…I’m in my soft girlie era. Hopefully, there’s more to come soon. Hope u enjoy, love y’all🫶🏾

You hated talking on the phone. Anytime you had to take a phone call, whether it be in your personal life or at work, you had to give yourself a mini pep-talk to make it through. Of all methods of communication, you highly preferred to send an email or text message as opposed to taking phone calls. Phone calls that at times, could be long and drawn out. In your eyes, the only upside to talking on the phone was that you could visibly express your disinterest as opposed to talking to someone in person and keeping your disinterest internal.

However, while you hated talking on the phone, there was a small handful of people who had a free pass to call. You even went as far as to make a separate ringtone for them so that you could differentiate their welcome call from the unwelcome ones. 

One of the people you designated as a welcomed caller was your boyfriend Harry. And boy did he take his phone call free-pass seriously.

Because his work at times took him away from home and you, Harry was diligent at calling you up when he couldn’t be with you physically. But even when he wasn’t away for work he always made it a point to call you and just check in. And Harry wasn’t overbearing with it and just dialed your number at any chance. It was almost as if he could sense when a conversation with you was needed. Whether it be because you were on the verge of losing it and not feeling the greatest, or because you were feeling great and needed to share that great energy with someone else. And it worked the same way with you. When he needed to vent or share some of the good vibes in his life you were more than willing to call or pick up.

Sometimes though, the calls would have no rhyme or reason to them. Like today, you weren’t having the best day, but you weren’t having the worst day either. You were just getting through the day until it was time to drop everything and go home. Towards the middle of the day, your phone lights up with Harry’s photo and sounds off with the ringtone you’d set just for him. Instead of mentally preparing yourself for the phone conversation ahead, you readily put in your earbuds and pick up the call.

“Helloooo” Harry sings, dragging out the ‘o’ for as long as he possibly could.

“Helloooo to you too” You quietly laugh, mimicking his greeting. “How can I be of assistance to you today?”

“No assistance needed, I just wanted to hear your voice.” Harry sappily replies. You could practically hear his dopey smile through the phone as he spoke. But at the end of the day, that’s all Harry wanted whenever he picked up the phone to call you. He just wanted to hear your voice.

“Well, I hope I don’t disappoint.” You whisper, the seemingly permanent smile that had been on your face since picking up the phone only widened.

“You could never disappoint me, love.” Harry definitively responds. Which only made you smile even harder and solidify an ache in your cheeks in a little while.

For the next 15 or so minutes you and Harry manage to cover a range of topics that somehow come together to form a coherent and flowing conversation. In this time, not only were you fighting to hold your giggles in you were also playing the role of lookout just in case your boss decided to randomly appear when you were supposed to be working. It was a common pattern for your happiness to summon him and ruin everything. But that was a conversation for another time.

Unfortunately for you though, you had to get back to work. Which meant that the little happiness bubble that you were in with Harry had to be popped.

“Well, I’m gonna let you go now, don’t wanna keep you from your work” Harry states when you two have a lull in the conversation, not wanting to steal any more of your time.

“No, keep me from it! Please?!” You jokingly plead, not wanting your happiness bubble to pop quite yet. 

“How about this, you make it through the last couple of hours there and then come over to my place and I’ll cook you some of the best dinner you’ve ever had.” Harry barters.

“You may just have yourself a deal, Mr.Styles.” You agree, looking forward to the end of the workday even more now that you had plans with your boyfriend.

“Well, I’m glad to hear it.” He hums, already thinking up a menu just for you. “Oh! Also, guess what.” Harry adds.

“What?” You curiously ask, wanting to hear the news.

“I love you.” He simply replies with the utmost sincerity. “That’s the main reason why I called you. To hear your voice, and to tell you that I love you.”

“I love you too. And I’ll see you later.” By the time you hung up, you were a smiling maniac and a complete puddle of yourself at your desk. But on the plus side, you were ready to power through the next couple of hours at your desk.

While you weren’t big on phone calls if there was one that you were always going to answer. It was Harry’s.

Masterlist

#harry styles #harry styles fanfic #harry styles fluff #harry styles imagine #harry styles fanfiction #harry styles x reader #harry styles x y/n #harry styles x you #harry styles fic #harry styles blurb #harry styles one shot #harry styles writing #harrywritingsbyme

[lestappenforever]

Max watching tit streamers anon here (I shall sign as 🍒 anon)

During quarantine, Max broke up with his then girlfriend Dilara. And well, ig he did need to fill an need of his so he went ahead and followed a bunch of insta models and also started watching tit streamers on twitch (idk if that's the proper term for them but yk they were "gamer" girls wearing some rather suggestive clothing).

People learnt about his endeavors on Twitch because he would comment stuff on these girls' streams and even make donations (i remember him making a donation and commenting sth abt the girl using the money to buy a simulator(?)) Our boy is not that creative with usernames so everyone could more or less understand it was him.

Now it's fair to mention that at the time Max had created an account on Twitch, which he streamed on, however quickly gave up on it. Plus he didn't use this account to comment on these girls' streams. He did so from his burner (?) account

When people found out they started pointing out his comments on Twitter and tumblr and I remember there being a post where they mentioned that Max had once wrote in some girl's that was wearing glasses chat that she looks like a "sexy teacher". The next day Charles had a stream and it was one of the first times he wore his glasses on stream, so some people considered it to be a funny coincidence (or not just coincidence we may never know👀)

Part 2:

🍒 anon again

"Regarding that particular stream Charles did (where he locked his now-ex gf out of the apartment) we have no clue whether Max watched it or not.

What we do know, though, is that Max liked Charles' tweet about it.

I remember lestappies in 2020 (that I'm pretty sure could be counted on like one hand), we were having a field day with it.

It was actually rather interesting that Max liked Charles' tweet given that this was back when they didn't use to be as close and used Lando as their messenger, as well as the fact that they do not follow each other on Twitter.

So this did raise the question as to how Max found out abt this tweet, but most concluded that he found out because Lando had interacted with it.

Really, lestappen and their relationship with each other back in the 2020 quarantine period is quite an overlooked chapter of their story, and it's filled with such small moments worth mentioning"

YOU CAME BACK! Thank fuck.

Okay, so during quarantine I was working retail in a grocery store and had to work harder and longer days than I had ever done in my life (and let me tell you, being an essential worker during the pandemic was exhausting), so I must have missed the comments on women's streams altogether. But I am so glad to have you, 🍒 anon, to fill me in on little things I might have missed over the years!

The 2020 quarantine era of Lestappen is definitely overlooked because there are so many gems like this that should get more attention. And Lando being the Lestappen carrier pigeon during this time is just one of those glorious gems.

Thank you so much for this, 🍒 anon! ❤️

#Asks #Anon asks #Lestappen asks #Lestappen dynamics anons #🍒 anon

[sarah-dipitous]

Hellsite Nostalgia Tour 2023 Day 1

It begins

“Pilot”

Man, not to bring my hero academia immediately into my viewing of supernatural, but is Dean proof that even if Touya had been able to follow in his dad’s footsteps, he still would never feel like he was enough??

“I swore I was done with hunting for good” oh. Oh, Sammy. You poor naive young man. You’ve got fifteen years of this ahead of you

(I’m literally not going to be able to watch this as NOT a todobros au, huh. Haven’t decided if I’m mad about it, though. The whole exchange about 9yo Sam telling their dad he was afraid of the dark? So John gave him a 45? Tell me that’s not a “he’s already 5, he can take it”)

Dude, the guy this ghost lady picked up is a total ass, but can you imagine deciding to cheat on your girlfriend and the girl you wanna cheat with takes you to a CLEARLY long abandoned house?? Power fucking mood

Ok I did right by myself deciding to watch Doctor Who second because I fucking hate jumpscares and we’re in the VERY monster of the week era

I will say the tension of “kid who did once know, however briefly, a happy family life” vs “kid who’s trying to get out from their constantly, almost since birth, family life” is really good in this episode.

Also that Dean just FULLY threw himself off that bridge? It’s…it sure is something compared to Sam hanging on to the ledge for dear life. It says something

(There’s these guitar licks that play every once in a while that make me think I’m gonna be watching a Home Depot commercial or one of those fake large truck commercials tiktokers sometimes do…..which is fitting but it’s still really funny)

Girlie, I don’t think you can call Sam unfaithful in his relationship if you force yourself on him…play by your own rules, love.

Ghost kids are creepy af, aaaaaaaand the VERY 2005 special effects. Brilliant. Love it.

Oh poor Jessica’s about to get got…but also how did Dean know to come back? He drove away?!

All in all, aside from fridging two women in the pilot, it’s a solid episode

“Rose”

That post about old new who having such realistic settings for the companion’s home is so real…Rose’s room is EXTREMELY 2005

Nah, because why are they preparing me for a jumpscare too???? Y’all I’m so easily scared lmaooo

But now nine is here telling her to run so all is good in the world

Nine didn’t get enough appreciation in his time. I know we all love him now but…I definitely was more meh 10 years ago

Jackie Tyler is an icon. And BRUTAL. She really just told her daughter there’s no point in getting up today due to Rose’s job being burnt to the ground

And her flirting with the doctor I caaaannooooot she’s amazing “I’m in my dressing gown” “yep” “there’s a strange man in my bedroom” “yep” “well….anything could happen” “no!” You KNOW Jackie’s read all the cheap and twisty romance novels she could get her hands on

Rose gets a Shigaraki moment

Ok it’s 2005, what is in Mickey’s emails that he’s worried about?? I mean, could just be a general privacy thing but still

How come there aren’t more people like Clive in this show? If I remember correctly, later on people are just like “ah yes, our favorite time traveling alien, The Doctor. This is normal”

The makeup job they did on plastic Mickey is just the right amount of creepy

I forgot how much running through the back halls and rooms of shops and whatnot there was

I’m also loving the tension of The Doctor loves humanity but constantly forgets Mickey’s existence so much so that Rose has to call him out on it. The greater good vs very real human people aspect is a good tension for The Doctor and their companion to have. It’s part of what also made Ten and Donna so good, especially in episodes like The Fires of Pompeii

Oh the warm fuzzy feeling of seeing Nine smile and say “Fantastic!”

Clive didn’t deserve that, man!!

(Watching Jackie get almost attacked by the bridal mannequins, I’m also thinking about how Donna been somehow oblivious to this)

Mickey’s fears and suspicions about The Doctor are completely understandable, rational, and valid given all he went through in this episode. Man was kidnapped and copied by another alien who wanted to devour his entire planet, basically. And I hate how he gets treated by the narrative. That said, watching Rose run toward the TARDIS at the end is everything

#hellsite nostalgia tour 2023

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Episode 4011 of The Bugle, first one of 2017, was the by far the best of the new era so far. First one that made me laugh as many times as an average episode from the original era. Nish Kumar and Andy Zaltzman looking ahead to the Trump inaguration that was two weeks away at the time, and to the year in general that was before them. Lots of really good jokes and good chemistry, it sounds like they’d spent all of Christmas writing material for this fucked up situation and were excited to try it out.

It also contained possibly my favourite pun run, because it was the first one Andy did in character (as, oddly enough, a chicken), in which Andy-as-himself played the role that was previously filled by John Oliver of someone who keeps saying “please stop doing these puns”, and Andy-as-the-chicken delivered the actual puns, and it was a strange piece of performance art that I thoroughly enjoyed. He should take that sketch on tour.

Some of the episode was definitely weird to hear in 2022. It’s well known that 2016 made it fucking weird to hear any remotely topical media from before 2016, when they’d say things like “I can’t believe George Bush was president”, and just generally have a very different calibre of expectations for the world. One of the big things that gets me is the idea of conducting actual national and international politics on Twitter - for a few years people would joke about “imagine if that happened”, then there were a few years when it was just starting to happen and people would joke about how fucking stupid it was, and in the last few years people don’t even joke about it anymore because that’s just a normal way the world works.

But at this point, it’s also a bit weird to go back to the beginning of this and hear them try to guess how things would go. For a while Nish and Andy speculated about whether anything might ever stop Trump from using Twitter, and concluded that there was no way to put a stop to this. So there’s one prediction they got wrong, but I can’t exactly fault them for not being able to guess that. I so often feel nostalgia for before the end of 2016, this is making me remember I even have a little nostalgia for the very beginning of the Trump era, before that shit was normalized, when it still felt weird because it was not how the world just generally works. You know, when we were all devastated but the wounds had not yet calloused over into just being jaded.

Also, the little bits of continuity are helping me be less bothered by the sense of “no no this is not how The Bugle is supposed to be I hate change”. Someone who emailed in tried to bring back hotties from history, and I expected Andy to shut that shit down as a segment that’s had its day, but instead he was happy to discuss it for a while. Andy has a button that plays John Oliver’s voice saying “That’s bullshit”, and it’s fun when he presses that. Listeners have also taken to addressing their emails to Andy, Producer Chris, whatever rotating co-host is there for the week, and the metaphysical remains of John Oliver. It eases the transition a bit.

Having said that, the references to the fact that this podcast did not just spring out of the air in October 2016 are not always positive things. At one point Andy did reference a review of his recent stand-up show in which the Guardian referred to him as “the left behind sidekick”, and that was pretty rough. Like he was joking about it but there was a rare note of genuine bitterness (just because a genuine note of anything from Andy Zaltzman is rare) when he quoted that one. Nish had a similar reaction to mine, along the lines of “Holy hell that is harsh, what the fuck?” Also, to be fair to Andy, the two original voices on The Bugle were very much equal co-hosts who had the same amount of input and were running it together, but if we absolutely had to choose which one was in the sidekick role, it would be John. Andy was the one who did the introduction and conclusion of every episode, made the housekeeping announcements and posted the online stuff between episodes (I mean, there were jokes about how he fell behind on that and normally Chris did it all, but John definitely didn’t do it), and always had lots of material prepared, while John had weeks when life got busy and he had to literally and/or figuratively phone it in. So The Guardian can fuck off. Anyway, it’s fine. Life goes on.

[hopefullystillatheatrestudent]

i'm so excited about you taking asks again ahhhh okay so. if you'd absolutely had to choose. what would be your top 5 cockles moments, and why? thank you ily <3

here’s the thing: there are so many routes i could go down with this, because cockles moments come in all shapes and sizes and formats. these include moments from their panels, their bloopers, the footage we get when they don’t even know they’re being recorded, stories being passed down from photo ops & autographs(one of my personal favorite ways to get cockles, tbh, because they’re all insane), and social media(tweets to each other, instagram posts & comments, etc.). 

SO! since many a list like this has already been made, and i want to stand out from the crowd, what i’m gonna do is definitively give the number one spot to each of these five categories.(i might even throw in honourable mentions because they’re so despicably in love that they warrant that. i really put my whole pussy into this, guys, i hope you’re happy.) 

disclaimer: these are my own personal opinions. but that also means i’m right. so. enjoy. 

number one: top cockles panel moment

so we’re starting off with a bang, because how do you even BEGIN to rank what atrocities jensen and misha commit at jibcon. every single one they’ve had is damning in it’s own right, for different reasons.

however, considering just how much unabashed fuckery they’ve given us to sift through, it’s a good thing i do have a personal favorite despite it all. it’s heartwarming, the sweetest thing i’ve ever seen, AND it’s jarringly cinematic - mainly because it has a whole ass arc to it that was years in the making. it might even be surprising to some people, but my favorite cockles panel moment, and what i consider the one that encompasses their entire gut-wrenching journey from 2008-2013 in the most sweepingly romantic gesture possible, is this one.

i want this burned into my retinas. i am not even joking. when i'm through with my explanation, let me convince you why this is thee most romantic cockles moment of all time.

first, some history: people call this the resume off, but many seem to forget the botched attempt at a resume off a year prior. and yes, you guessed it: it's during their break up. it's a juicy time period for a reason, guys. it came across as exceedingly one-sided and VERY awkward. let me refresh your memory as to just how bad it was, and just how hard jensen was trying and ultimately failing at winning misha over: the funniest part of the whole resume off in 2013??? every joke/bit had literally already been made/done. they were just going through the motions again, but the difference THIS time...is that misha reciprocated jensen's energy. it. is. fascinating. i want to get into it more detail in another post, and i'll link it here when i'm done, but the main takeaway, i think, and the main difference that showcases how much they've grown in a year, is that in jib 3, misha flat out refused to do an accent, and this time around, he indulges jensen for literal minutes. when i tell you they're crazy, they're crazy. i can't wait to actually dive into it later.

ANYWAY, the resume off culminates in this moment here. and, like, a million things happen in this gifset. actually, more like a million and one. the music starts playingneediremindyouthatthesongissingingintherain(h e l p), misha starts dancing, jensen 'perpetually fake grumpy' ackles lets misha think he's not going to join, misha sits down defeated, but no!!! that was jensen's plan all along(look at his stupid fucking smirk) and he offers his arm to his dance partner who immediately grins like a fool, jensen then leads misha into their kick step, they perfectly synchronise and let loose, and are then very clearly having the time of their lives, hanging off of each other with joy and ease. from their expressions alone i can tell that this moment is so. so. so. so! much more than what initially meets the eye. i mean-misha is fighting back the biggest smile i've ever seen. to me, it reads like jensen is offering something to misha, something that misha kind of gave up on expecting, and him offering his arm like that is like, a surprise to him in the best possible way(and it's so not platonic, let me just say that.) as soon as jensen did that, it ushered in a new era of cockles. this panel is jensen and misha's favourite for a reason, and i think this moment is the biggest clue as to why.

whew!!! ok. that took a lot out of me and that was only point one. moving on,

number two: top cockles blooper moment

cockles bloopers hold an extremely special place in my heart, because it shows just how fucking disastrous jensen and misha are. they are so goddamn infatuated with each other that they HOLD UP PRODUCTION ALL THE TIME TO FLIRT WITH EACH OTHER(???). let me repeat. let it sink in. jensen ackles; arguably one of the most professional actors on that show who puts everything he has into each scene, with mountains and mountains of notes to prove it: would rather hold up production to flirt with misha collins. this sounds fake. it's not. he does it. all. the. time. and here's the thing guys!!! i'm gonna let you in on a secret!!! misha loves it. he loveesssss it. on top of that-misha collins: overlooked because he's pranked and people assume he's unprofessional as well, but his only pranks are in retaliation/off-set, and he rarely if EVER causes problems if he can help it....lets himself get carried away when it comes to jensen making kissy faces at him!!! are you actually kidding me!!! i mean. misha. it's just a face. you've seen it a million times. i don't buy that it triggers something in you that strongly....you like it, and you like jensen's reaction. you can't fool me!!! lisa berry's face in that one gifset shows just how fed up the crew is with their gross, coupley boyfriend antics.

i could pull up so many examples. sooooooo many. but my favourite was sealed since the moment i saw it.

i actually already wrote an analysis on it but i can't find it :(((( which SUCKS because i really unpacked the whole thing. i'll try to summarise.

basically, a backstory is part of this too!!! jensen and misha both had a really really hard time with this scene(because it's explicitly romantic there i said it), they sat down for hours and poured over their scripts together, they were super super nervous going into filming, both of them, jensen especially, were super hard on themselves for their performances not being true to their characters but they both complimented the other's work(boyfriend moments fr). so, yeah. they weren't confident going into shooting. and how do they get themselves to feel better???? by cuddling each other, apparently.

a lot. a LOT. happens in this specific blooper. to the point that i saw it years before i knew about cockles and it raised all sorts of flags for me.

1) stop pulling my face towards your crotch(as a thinly veiled request that misha would, in fact, move jensen's face towards his crotch, considering it was jensen moving himself there in the first place. also, why so comfy down there guys???) 2) you're my baby daddy i know(in the most intimate voice i've ever heard please) 3) i know, i know, i love you too i didn't say i love you i know but you wanted to say it etc. misha's right, of course. that's what jensen meant.

it just reeks of comfort, familiarity and intimacy between the two, and it's a moment that is extremely sweet and silly at the same time. they're so <3

number three: top cockles found footage moment

WONDERFUL category. truly the culmination of the cockles experience. many people have said that shipping cockles doesn't work because 'they're just onstage you dummies!! they're playing it up for the audience!!!' here's the thing, love. i could not disagree with you more. once you climb your way up the cockles ladder, you soon learn that they are, in fact, playing their dynamic DOWN, not up. they really are just Like That™, and they could not care less about the paying audience, if we're being honest, considering how much time they take to giggle with each other and refuse to let the audience in on the joke. and i love them for it <3

anyway, my point is that this category is for all you naysayers out there, all you 'jensen and misha's relationship is just for show and is real life queerbaiting'(?????lordhelp???) oh yeah? ok, explain this.

he. he. he calls jensen sweetheart. literally enough said. there's nothing to really add here, except, misha and jared then immediately engage in damage control. jared's method is distraction and misha's is retconning('get out of the car, dude') this was what got me to buy into the cockles dumpster for GOOD good. you don't call your buddy sweetheart accidentally and sound so completely earnest while doing it! especially not when that buddy is jensen ackles!!! you think he would let any of his friends call him that? do you?

one more thing; if it was a slip of the tongue, little mouth thing or whatever, you think jared wouldn't have jumped on it immediately??? i can hear it now. 'did you just call him SWEETHEART???' yeah. that's what i thought. you know why he didn't? because it was too revealing.

number four: top cockles autograph moment

i mean, i think we all know what it's gonna be, and if you don't, well, do i have the piece de cockles resistance that is gonna send you over the edge.

if you haven't heard of this story by now, as a cockles, truther, i'm gonna go ahead and get you to read it, because there is no possible heterosexual explanation for any of it, and you're fooling yourself if you think otherwise.

spoiler alert: it's the story where phones weren't allowed in an auto session, jensen nuzzles himself in misha's hair, leans his full body weight onto him, holds his hand, etc. etc. i'm imploding just repeating this back, actually. also, just, the sheer amount of stories from photo ops where they tackle hug each other or slap each other's asses or sing romantic songs to each other or almost kiss is, frankly, a lot. if i could wish for anything, it would be to witness them in person.

and finally,

number five: top cockles social media moment

this one is super difficult, because there's obviously a lot to choose from. but you know what? full send, i'm going with this one:

i just. what to say about this. how often do misha and jensen watch sunsets together for it to qualify as ‘always’ ??? why are sunsets synonymous with their relationship??? that’s like??? a very romantic thing????? ‘this guy’??? the fact that it’s a CANDID??? i don’t know guys.

that could have been better but i am TIRED so. there you go rose ily

#cockles #cockles ask #liz answers #i really just. spend hours. writing about misha and his boyfriend. #why. why do i. do that #long post for ts

[simoneashleydaily]

Simone Ashley in Sunday Life (Sydney Morning Herald)

Bridgerton’s new star on breaking the rules and her biggest role yet

By Genevieve Quigley

Speaking via the phone from London, Simone Ashley sounds out of breath. It soon becomes clear this is because, besides being a talented actor, she is a remarkable multitasker. Simone is juggling media interviews ahead of her role in season two of Bridgerton and a far more domestic duty. “I’m taking my dog for a walk through Hyde Park,” she admits, laughing.

It is just weeks away from the launch of one of the most anticipated follow-ups to a Netflix series, and possibly one of the last times the tall and striking Simone, who’s 26, will be able to walk through the popular park without being mobbed. Is she prepared for the fame that is about to be thrust upon her?

“This is the biggest role that I’ve had, so I can’t speak from experience,” she says. “I can only imagine nothing can really prepare you for it. But I try not to pay too much attention to that side of things.”

Judging by the hype around the upcoming Regency-era drama, though, it will be hard for Simone to ignore. This season is centred on her character, Kate Sharma, and Anthony Bridgerton (Jonathan Bailey).

Those familiar with the source books by Julia Quinn will know that Anthony initially sets his sights on Kate’s younger sister Edwina (Charithra Chandran). But when Kate decides Anthony is not worthy of her sister’s hand in marriage, he tries to win over the Sharma family. While Anthony and Kate initially clash heads, it’s not long before they develop feelings for each other.

Simone’s portrayal of the strong-willed (and happily single) Kate is sure to be a hit with fans. “Kate is a modern voice, a bit ahead of the time, compared to what women were going through in the 1800s,” agrees Simone. “She’s against what women needed to follow back then. She’s a bit of a rule-breaker and she’s a little bit awkward, which is what I really like about her. She doesn’t seem to fit in easily.”

“I didn’t really have a moment to be like, ‘Wow, this is happening.’ It’s only really now that I’m going, ‘Oh wow, my god, I got the job, this is really happening.’ It’s definitely been a whirlwind of a year.”

So what does the more traditionally inclined Anthony see in her? “There’s something endearing about her that draws him to her. It is her honesty, it’s the fact she doesn’t go out to people-please and that she has an opinion.

“It doesn’t necessarily make her the most popular person in the room all the time; it makes her different, shy. But she’s so devoted to her little sister, and I think that’s something Anthony is drawn to as well.”

If you’re thinking Kate sounds like the polar opposite of Daphne Bridgerton (Phoebe Dynevor) – the “Diamond of the Season” (the best catch of all the ladies looking for a husband), and whose love story with Simon Basset, the Duke of Hastings (Regé-Jean Page) dominated the first series – you’d be on the mark. But Simone is quick to point out the similarities between the two characters.

“The amazing thing about the show is that it does represent incredible, vulnerable and empowered women,” she says. “Daphne herself was an incredibly smart, intelligent portrayal of a powerful female even if she did initially start out as the “diamond”. In the end, we did see her become a mature woman.

“With Kate, it’s like the other way around. She’s quite hardcore, guarded, a bit frosty, a bit feisty. But there’s also strength in her vulnerability and in the end we might see her allow someone to come into her heart … let her guard down. I think being a strong, female character isn’t necessarily anything new, it’s just a new spin on it.”

Simone’s self-assured manner offers glimpses of her own Kate Sharma qualities. She, too, has had to overcome challenges to follow her life ambitions, which were beyond her family’s experiences.

Born in Surrey, England, to Tamil Indian parents, Latha and Gunasekharan Pillai, Simone (Ashley is her stage name) grew up in a family of academics, but was drawn to the creative arts. She studied at Redroofs Theatre School (famous alumni include Kate Winslet and Joanne Froggatt) before training in acting at The Arts Educational School London.

Her parents were apprehensive about her chosen profession. “They still find it quite scary and unsettling,” she told South Asian-culture website Veylex in 2019. “There is no crystal ball, no security, no guarantee. Which can be a parent’s worst nightmare. But they know I’m a smart lady.”

Early in her career, Simone picked up small parts in a number of TV series, such as Broadchurch and Casualty, before landing her breakthrough role in the 2019 Netflix hit, Sex Education. Although not one of the leads, her character Olivia Hanan, a member of the “Untouchables” (a group of impossibly cool teens) was a memorable one, and would help lead her to where she is today.

“I think Chris [van Dusen, Bridgerton’s showrunner] had seen me in Sex Education, and I think Johnny [Jonathan Bailey] and him had a few conversation and whispers about me,” she says. “I got a text from my manager at the end of January last year and he was like, ‘There’s this role that they’re interested in you for.’ ”

A flurry of events led to her landing the part. “It all happened in 14 days. I sent in the self-tapes, I had Zoom meetings and then I went to meet Johnny in person for a chemistry test. Then we met with (production company) Shondaland on Zoom.

“When I got the role, I was immediately in wig fittings and make-up tests, and horse-riding and accent training, and read-throughs and rehearsals. I didn’t really have a moment to be like, ‘Wow, this is happening.’ It’s only really now that I’m going, ‘Oh wow, my god, I got the job, this is really happening.’ It’s definitely been a whirlwind of a year.

“But that’s our job as actors: to get up super early and go to set, and do night shoots, and be in a bubble for months, and read scripts, and be in character, and not wear our own clothes every day. But the magic of all this is when you see the final product. That’s when the penny dropped for me. ‘Gosh, I was a part of this fairy tale and got to work with amazing people.’ ”

Now that Simone has caught her breath, how does she feel about this fairy tale being launched in front of a whopping worldwide audience? After all, the first season was streamed in 82 million households during its first month on Netflix, and quickly became its most-watched original series in 83 countries (it has since been beaten by Squid Game).

She says, casually, that it doesn’t really get her excited. “But of course I’m human, I’m not a robot, and I have some feelings about the millions of people that are about to see it! But just watching it, it was so beautiful and that’s what gave me the chills: to see what we’ve achieved.“

Nevertheless, Simone knows parts of her life will forever change, and she’s keen to maintain some privacy, especially when it comes to what she posts to her nearly 500,000 Instagram fans. “We’re in an age where we are all using social media in a quite unconscious way, and we are putting up things or engaging with things without asking ourselves, why are we doing this? What are we getting from this? Is it because we want validation? Likes? The attention?

“I feel like social media can inflate the narcissist in all of us. But I think I’ve got a good handle on that. It’s cool to have anonymity if you can.” And it definitely helps when dog-walking through Hyde Park.

Season two of Bridgerton will stream on Netflix from March 25.

#simone ashley #kate sharma #bridgerton #bridgerton netfix #kate sheffield #bridgerton cast #olivia hanan #interview #sunday life #sydney morning herald

[btsqualityy]

Magnolias In Springtime: Part Two

Namjoon x Reader

Genre: Arranged marriage!AU, ABO (Alpha/Beta/Omega) dynamics, fluff, and smut

Warnings: Mentions of infertility, mentions of miscarriages, unprotected sex, dirty talk, impregnation sex, impregnation kink, oral (both Namjoon and reader receiving), penetrative sex, squirting, knotting and creampie.

Author’s Note: You guys know that I always post something on my birthday so here it is! This is the second and final part to Magnolias in Springtime! If you haven’t read part 1, you can find it here! Truthfully, this second part was just an excuse for me to write Namjoon impregnation smut lol But I hope you guys enjoy it!

It’s crazy how much things could change and yet stay the same in the span of a year. 

You still loved your home pack, going back to see the Alphas, Betas, and Omegas that helped shaped you into the person you were today at least once a month. You were still spoiled by your parents, who made it their personal mission to shower you with gifts whenever they had the opportunity to see their only child. Most of all, you still used the skills that you had learned in your childhood pack as you prepared to become leader of your new pack with your husband. 

Speaking of your husband, Namjoon was the best and most enjoyable change in your life as you had spent the past year falling in love with him. 

Admittedly, adjusting to being in a marriage and to a man that you did not know or choose beforehand was hard, but you quickly found out that Namjoon was one of the most amazing people that you had ever met in your life. He was strong, dependable, and trustworthy just like a typical Alpha but you were delighted to find that he was also big on communication and making sure that you felt comfortable enough to talk to him, he was caring, and even sensitive in certain situations. He had quickly become your best friend and you found yourself falling for him not long after the wedding was over.

“Y/N?” Eun Kyung called out and you shook your head as you broke out of your thoughts. 

“I’m sorry,” you apologized sheepishly as you turned to look at your mother in law. “Can you repeat what you said? I wasn’t listening.”

“I see that,” she smiled knowingly. “A lot on your mind?”

“Kind of,” you shrugged as you fiddled with the handle of the tea cup that was in front of you. 

“Well, that’s understandable sweetie,” she assured you. “We’ve all been so busy getting ready for the Coronation, it’s no wonder that your thoughts are all over the place.” 

In the year since you and Namjoon had gotten married, Namjoon’s father Ho-jin had begun to slowly pass over the responsibilities of being Pack Alpha over to Namjoon. Two months ago, he had announced his official retirement and Namjoon would be having a Coronation to celebrate a new era of power. Of course, you would be celebrated as well given the fact that you would be replacing Eun Kyung as Pack Omega. 

“Anything you want to discuss?” Eun Kyung wondered. 

“You don’t mind?”

“Y/N-ah, that’s what we started these weekly tea dates for, remember?” She pointed out with a giggle and you smiled as you thought back on how your mother in law had insisted that you two meet every Tuesday aftermoon in order to talk and spend time together. At first, you were weary of it but it’s quickly become one of the highlights of your week, every week.

“I guess I’m just nervous about becoming Pack Omega,” you confessed. “I mean, I’m not from this pack and even though it seems like everyone likes me well enough, that might change once Namjoon’s officially Pack Alpha.”

“You remember how I told you about how my marriage to Ho-jin was arranged and how I replaced his mother when the time came?” Eun Kyung asked and you nodded your head. “I had the exact same fears as you do now and my mother in law, may she rest with the ancestors, gave me an amazing piece of advice that I have used continuously over the past 30 years. Wanna know what it is?”

“Yeah.”

“Your only duty as Pack Omega is to support your Alpha,” Eun Kyung began. “Whether that means reassuring him that he’s making a right decision, comforting him when he’s stressed and upset or even cussing him out when he’s dead wrong. The job of a Pack Leader is a stressful one and they must know that even if it feels like the world is on their shoulders, they will always have one person in their corner and that’s us.”

“That’s it?” You giggled and Eun Kyung nodded with a smile, pausing to take a sip of her tea before continuing.

“It seems intuitive right, because we’re Omegas ourselves but being the spouse of a Pack Leader means that we always have to shoulder a little bit more, whether it be more pain, more sadness, more hope,” she explained. “But I guarantee you, making sure that Namjoon is taken care will be the greatest thing that you can do for the pack.”

“I believe you,” you said. “I just know that Namjoon isn’t gonna make it easy for me. You know how he is about work and making sure the pack’s taken care of.”

“Don’t worry, Ho-jin already said that he plans to talk to him about finding a healthy balance,” Eun Kyung told you. 

“Good,” you smiled as you brought your tea cup to your mouth, taking a long sip from it. 

“Speaking of that though, there was actually something that I wanted to talk to you about,” she said and you lowered your cup from your lips.

“Go ahead,” you encouraged her before taking another sip.

“Are you and Namjoon....uh....fulfilling your....marital duties?” She wondered and you choked on your tea, immediately setting your cup down as you coughed harshly. Eun Kyung reached over and gave you several strong pats on the back, which helped you regulate your breathing again. 

“Uh, why do you ask?” You chuckled nervously.

“Well, with the coronation coming up, there’s been talk about the fact that you aren’t pregnant yet,” Eun Kyung elaborated and your eyes widened in realization. “Some people are beginning to become concerned.”

“And you’re one of them?” You shot back. 

“Yes, but not in the way that you’re thinking,” she laughed. “I’m worried about you as a person and not about your ability to conceive.”

“Why?”

“Because I know what it’s like to have your worth evaluated only in terms of how many kids you can pop out,” she smiled sadly and as her words registered with you, your jaw dropped as you put the pieces together. 

“Eun Kyung, you?”

“I struggled with infertility, yes,” she confirmed. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” you whispered as you reached out, setting one of your hands on top of hers. She turned her hand around and intertwined your fingers with hers. 

“Oh, I’m ok sweetie,” she swore. “After Ho-jin and I got married, we had miscarriage after miscarriage and it took six years before I got pregnant with Namjoon and he became our miracle baby. I’m telling you all this because I known how isolating that struggle can be and if that’s the case for you, I wanted you to know that you’re not alone.”

“I appreciate it Eun Kyung, but I don’t think that’s the case for Namjoon and I,” you muttered. “We’re just taking things slow and not rushing it. I mean, we’ve only been married for a year and we have years to have babies.”

“Alright sweetheart, alright,” Eun Kyung laughed. “I just wanted you to know that I’m here for you and if that’s how you and Namjoon feel, then I’ll get everyone else off your back.”

“Thank you,” you smiled gratefully and she tightened the grip that she had on your hand reassuringly. 

“No problem. Now, onto more important business,” she grinned. “Finding you a dress to wear for the coronation.” You nodded your head immediately, grateful that she changed the direction of the conversation because you had no idea how to tell her that you and Namjoon had only had sex a handful of times in the last year. 

.............................................

After finally leaving Ho-jin and Eun Kyung’s house a few hours later, you went home and made dinner. As usual, Namjoon came home around 6 and the two of you sat down in your dining room together, eating and talking about how your days went. 

Everything was going very normally until Namjoon called out to you as you both worked on cleaning up the kitchen.

“Y/N-ah?” He said. 

“Hmm?” 

“Did my mom say something to you today about a baby?” He wondered and you turned to look over at him, watching as he continued to wash the dishes as if he hadn’t just asked you what he did. 

“How did you know?” You asked.

“My father said something about it to me today after our meeting,” Namjoon sighed and you walked over to him, leaning against the counter so that you could look at him. 

“She did too, and she told me about her infertility,” you told him. “Why didn’t you ever say anything?”

“Because it’s super personal to her and I didn’t know if she would be comfortable with me telling you,” he explained. “But why do you think I wanted 5 pups initially?”

“I get it now,” you giggled. “What did your dad say when he brought it up?”

“It was definitely less diplomatic than my mom,” he chuckled as he finished rinsing off the dishes and began drying off his hands. “He went on and on about how our family legacy needs to continue on and if we’re able, we need to have at least a few kids.”

“Hmm,” you murmured and Namjoon looked at you skeptically, raising his eyebrow.

“What’s that mean?” He laughed. 

“Nothing,” you shrugged as you looked down at your feet but he didn’t buy that, throwing the towel that he was holding onto the counter and moving closer to you.

“Hey, talk to me,” he pleaded and you sighed heavily before squaring your shoulders and looking up at him again.

“Why don’t you ever try to have sex with me?” You demanded to know. “I mean, besides our wedding night, we’ve only had sex during my two heats and your rut, and I’m guessing that you didn't tell your father that.”

“No, I didn’t tell him that,” Namjoon huffed with a smile. “And the reason that I haven’t been trying is because I don’t want to push you. Even though we both agreed to this marriage, it still never leaves my mind that you didn’t really choose this. I don’t want to force you into yet another life changing decision, because pups are forever.”

“Hey, I wasn’t forced into anything,” you gently corrected him. “Yeah, I had to make a choice to save my pack but I did that because I wanted to. Plus, you didn’t necessarily choose this either.”

“I know but still,” he muttered. “I just didn’t want you to think that you were obligated to have sex with me, let alone have my pups. And as for the heat and rut thing, it was easier because you asked for me during your heat and during my rut, I could blame it on my hormones.”

“You sure that it’s not because you’re not attracted to me?” You joked lamely and Namjoon smacked his lips together as he set his hands on your cheeks, forcing you to maintain eye contact with him. 

“Baby, you’re the most gorgeous woman that I’ve ever laid my eyes on,” he told you seriously. “I think the world of you, and you know that.”

“It’s kind of hard to remember,” you admitted. 

“I should have explained to you my reasoning and for that, I’m sorry,” he apologized. “But don’t you ever think for one second that I don’t want you. I think about you all the time, my Alpha gets nervous anytime that I’m away from you for too long and hell, my cock gets hard as soon as you look at me with these eyes.”

“Namjoon,” you whined through giggles, which made him smile as he looked at you fondly. 

“If you’re comfortable with it, I’d have sex with you whenever you wanted,” he said. 

“I’m comfortable with it,” you assured him. “I love you.”

“I love you too,” he replied, leaning down and pressing a soft kiss to your lips.

“But what about pups?” You whispered, your lips moving against his as you spoke.

“Baby, I’d love to see you pregnant with my pups,” he told you. “If it were up to just me, you’d always be pregnant. All you have to do is say the word.”

“I want your pups Alpha,” you murmured as you looked up at him through your lashes. “Please.” Without another word, Namjoon bent down and scooped you up into his arms, making you squeal and cling onto him as he carried you bridal style out of the kitchen and up the stairs. 

“I could’ve walked!” You exclaimed while giggling. 

“This is more romantic,” he winked at you. After making it up the stairs, he walked down the hallway to your bedroom, using one hand to open the door before stepping inside. He walked over to the bed, laying you down gently before crawling on top of you and kissing you passionately. 

You moaned into his mouth, your legs coming up to wrap themselves around his waist as you pulled him closer to you. He moved away from your lips eventually, his mouth trailing downwards and sucking on the mating mark that he had given you on your wedding night. 

“You’re perfect baby,” he mumbled against your skin and you could barely reply because he had begun to grind against you. The thin layer of your leggings did little to inhibit the feeling, and you felt yourself whining as you became more turned on. 

“W-wanna suck you off,” you whispered shyly and he pulled his face out of your neck, looking down at you with a smile. 

“Alright,” he nodded before climbing off of you, settling himself next to you on the bed. You sat up then, reaching down and pulling off your t-shirt before letting Namjoon help you unclip your bra. Even though the two of you hadn’t had sex as often as you hoped, you had sex often enough to know that your husband was definitely a breast man and he loved to see them while you gave him a blow job. 

You moved down the bed and settled yourself on your stomach in between his legs, pulling down the shorts he had on and his boxers just enough so that his cock fell out, taking ahold of it in both of your hands. He was almost fully hard and you didn’t waste any time taking him into your mouth, swirling your tongue around the tip.

“Fuck,” Namjoon groaned deeply and hearing your Alpha feel good only spurred you on. You then took him as deep into your mouth as you could, making him moan from how good your throat felt around his cock. Once you deemed him wet enough, you began to bob your head up and down, using your hands to stroke the parts of his shaft that you couldn’t reach with your mouth. 

“Good girl baby,” he praised you. “So good to my cock.” You could feel yourself getting wet but you were too focused on doing your best to make your husband feel good. As you continued to suck him off for a few minutes, you could feel his cock beginning to throb lightly and you knew that meant that he was close to coming. Just as that thought registered in your mind though, Namjoon reached down and pulled himself out of your mouth. 

“What’s wrong?” You wondered. 

“You're sucking me off a little too well baby,” he chuckled. “I was about to come embarrassingly fast.”

“That’s ok,” you shrugged. 

“Not if you want my pups inside of you instead of in your mouth,” he smirked, making you blush at his words. “Here, switch places with me.” You sat up and shuffled on your knees up the bed, turning yourself around before laying down on your back. Namjoon then sat up and grabbed ahold of the waist band of your leggings, pulling them down along with your panties. You let your legs fall out and Namjoon licked his lips once he set his eyes on your bare pussy.

“I knew it,” he grumbled, reaching out and letting his middle finger ghost over your clit. “I could tell you were getting wet baby, I could smell your scent from your pussy.” Without giving you the chance to reply, he dove forward and sucked your clit into his mouth. You cried out, your back arching up off of the bed as he suckled on your clit. 

“Damn it,” you whimpered, lifting your head and watching him as he began to leave wide licks up your slit. 

“Let’s see how you do with a finger,” Namjoon muttered, pausing the actions of his tongue in order to slide his middle finger inside of you. 

“Oh fuck,” you gasped, letting your had fall back against the bed. 

“You’re so tight baby, you’re just swallowing my finger,” Namjoon groaned. You felt movement on the bed and when you opened your eyes, you were surprised to see that Namjoon was now laying next to you on the bed, looking down at you as he pushed a second finger in alongside his 

“You want Alpha to make you come like this?” He wondered aloud as he began to thrust his finger in and out of you. “Wanna come on my fingers?”

“Please,” you nodded and he smiled as he began to fuck you faster. Namjoon’s fingers were long and slender, meaning that he as able to reach the deepest parts of you without it being too overwhelming to you. 

“Ha, ha,” you moaned in time with his thrusts.

“You’re dripping baby,” he told you but you didn’t even hear him because you could feel your orgasm winding to it’s end in your core.

“I’m gonna come,” you announced and nothing could’ve prepared you for Namjoon pulling his fingers out of you. You whipped your head to look over at him, tears beginning to well up in your eyes as you felt your orgasm slowly but surely slipping away. 

“Why?” You pouted and Namjoon cooed at you before leaning over and kissing you firmly for a few seconds before pulling away. 

“Alpha wants his Omega to come on his cock while I come inside of you, ok?” He told you and you sighed reluctantly before nodding your head. 

Namjoon pushed his shorts and underwear all the way off his legs before reaching up and pulling his t-shirt off as well. He then sat up and moved to settle in between your legs, taking ahold of the base of his cock and tapping the head of it on your clit. 

“If you want me to c-come on your cock, d-don’t tease me,” you whined and he just chuckled fondly. 

“Ok, I’m sorry baby,” he whispered, guiding his cock into you slowly. You felt like you were going to choke on air as he stretched you out, since you had basically forgotten how long and thick he was. 

“Oh, just like that baby,” Namjoon mumbled as he began to slowly thrust in and out of you. “You’re opening up so good for me.”

“A-Alpha,” you whimpered, clutching onto his forearms as he began to fuck you faster. “Fuck, it feels so good.”

“What does?” Namjoon goaded you. “Tell your Alpha baby.”

“Your cock feels good inside me,” you moaned. “Feel so full.”

“God, I can’t believe that I was keeping myself from feeling your tight little pussy every day,” he grumbled. “I’m sorry baby.”

“It’s o-ok,” you stammered back, the beginnings of your orgasm starting to reappear.

“I’m gonna fuck you everyday from here on out if you let me,” he swore, looking down at you with hooded eyes. “Would you want that? Want Alpha to always keep you full with his knot?”

“Please, please, please,” you chanted.

“Want Alpha to fuck a baby into you?”

“Give it to me,” you moaned loudly and Namjoon reached up, sliding two of his fingers into your open mouth. You didn’t even hesitate to start sucking on them, making your husband groan as your tongue slid around the digits. 

“Gonna make you come,” he said as he pulled his fingers away from your mouth, reaching down and setting them on your clit. Your mouth dropped open as he began to rub firm circles on the nub and you were almost embarrassed by  how fast the stimulation sped up the pace at which your orgasm was running towards you. 

“Holy fuck, don’t stop,” you pleaded. “I’m gonna come.”

“Go ahead baby, I won’t stop you,” he promised as he continued to fuck you and rub your clit. Sure enough, your orgasm slammed into you a few seconds later. The moan that fell out of your mouth was almost deafeningly loud and you were sure that Namjoon would have indents on his arm from where you were gripping onto his skin as your back arched up off of the bed. 

“Fuck, you’re squirting baby,” he groaned as he took his hand off of your clit and placed his hands on the bed next to your head, fucking into you even harder now. 

“T-too much,” you murmured as you set your hands against his chest.

“You love it though. You’re still coming for me,” he smirked and you couldn’t help but to blush because you could still feel yourself leaking onto his cock. 

“I do,” you admitted and he leaned down, pressing a firm kiss to your lips. 

“You’re so perfect for me,” he grumbled and you could feel the beginnings of his knot starting to swell. “Squirting for me and marking your Alpha. God, it makes me want to stuff my knot into you and fill you up with my pups.”

“Do it,” you encouraged him. “Give me a baby Joon.”

“I love you,” he grunted and you gave him a small smile.

“I love you too,” you replied, moaning lightly when he kissed you again. As the two of you made out, Namjoon pushed his knot inside of you and you felt his cum start to pour into you. He continued to give you light strokes, making sure to fuck his cum even deeper inside of you than it already was.

“Making sure that it takes huh?” You giggled and he just blushed as he pulled back to look at you. 

“Gotta make it worth it,” he pointed out. “Besides, even if you don’t get pregnant this time, we can always try again and again and again.”

“As long as you make me come like that again,” you nodded in agreement.

“Oh, I definitely wanna see that again,” he smirked. “Maybe I should deny you your orgasm more often.”

“I’ll murder you,” you stated firmly, making him laugh loudly. 

“I’m joking baby,” he said, leaning down and kissing your mating mark. “Love you.”

“I love you too,” you whispered.

.............................................

A few weeks later, the day of Namjoon’s coronation had finally come. The entire pack was gathered outside near the wall of magnolias that you and Namjoon had gotten married near, waiting for the ceremony to take place. 

The two of you were in your shared bedroom, where you were helping him get dressed into his traditional hanbok. 

“Are you ok?” You asked him while you fastened the buttons on his chest. 

“Yeah, of course,” he chuckled awkwardly. “Why do you ask?”

“You’re trembling,” you giggled and he just sighed heavily.

“I’m terrified,” he admitted. “I’ve been looking forward to being Pack Leader my entire life but what if I’m not good at it? My dad and grandfather were amazing Pack Alphas and what if I can’t measure up?”

“Joon,” you tsked as you reached up and set your hands on his cheeks, making him look you in the eyes. “You can’t compare yourself to anyone else. You are going to be an amazing leader because you’re thoughtful, caring, and selfless.”

“You think so?”

“I know so,” you smiled. “Just like I know that you’ll be an amazing daddy.”

“A daddy?” He repeated confusedly and you nodded your head. It took him a few minutes but when he put the pieces together, his eyes widened. “Baby, are you pregnant?”

“I am,” you nodded, squealing in surprise when Namjoon wrapped his arms around you and picked you up, spinning you around in a circle. “Wait, you’re gonna make me nauseous!”

“Fuck, I’m sorry,” he laughed as he set you back down on the ground. “I just can’t believe it.”

“You’re happy, right?”

“Of course I am,” he sighed contentedly. “I’m so happy that our parents arranged our marriage.”

“Ditto,” you cooed, leaning forward and kissing him gently for a few seconds before pulling away. “Now, we have to go. You have to go and claim your rightful position.”

“We have to claim our rightful position,” he corrected you as he reached down and intertwined your fingers with his. After taking one last look at him to make sure that he looked good, the two of you walked downstairs and out of your house, ready to step into your new roles and the new phase of your lives. 

#bts #bangtanarmynet #bts reactions #bts imagines #bts namjoon #bts rm #namjoon x reader #rm x reader #namjoon smut #namjoon angst #namjoon fluff #rm smut #rm angst #rm fluff #bts x reader #bts smut #bts angst #bts fluff #bts abo

[ficforthought]

On being SO DONE with M*sha, a rant a decade in the making!

After giving this some thought I'm going to go ahead and give my opinion on Misha and yesterday’s situation in public for the first time ever. I was going to just post on Twitter but since this has been 12 years in the making I have exceeded the number of tweets I can put in one thread! There’s A LOT in here, so my summary is also long. I'm aware that I will lose followers over this, I'm not looking to offend anyone but it will inevitably happen. I wish anyone leaving all the best as fellow human beings.

TL;DR - having kept quiet for so long I’ve finally reached my limit and it’s all come bubbling out. I’ve never been a fan of Misha, I’ve been ambivalent for the most part, but have never criticised him in any hateful way, that's not who I am, but after all these years of putting up with his bullshit, attention seeking and troublemaking I am DONE. Deleting his tweet containing the word Wincest and replacing it with an APOLOGY just to pander to his Minions and save face is the straw that broke the camel's back. He has consistently pushed his ship on not only fans but on other actors (despite Jensen's discomfort, and him having repeatedly made his feelings known on it), he has stood by while his Minions/Hellers have harassed, victimised, doxxed and sent death threats to people based on their FICTIONAL ships. He has pandered to their gatekeeping, constantly demanded attention in obvious and not so obvious ways, and to the best of my knowledge never criticised their actions even though he's aware of it in a very real way. Some of his Minions have now taken their shit into The Boys fandom and created negativity for Jensen before the guy has even got a foot through the set door, and how is that supporting one half of your ship?

Misha has claimed to be a victim of targeted harassment from Wincest/brother fans (not only shippers) yet his fans have said and done the most despicable things on his watch, all in the name of what he must think is entertainment, or even his idea of a ‘joke’.

Any respect I had for the man based on his humanitarian work has gone because I can only take so much hypocrisy. He and his pandering because of a desperate attempt to be woke and wholly inclusive (which is actually impossible, no matter how good intentions are) are beyond pathetic. Whilst I have never seen why people think he’s so great I have friends IRL and online who genuinely adore the man, yet they have been shocked and upset by his contempt for half of the fandom that made him somewhat famous. It's disgusting and I'm not scrolling by any more. Misha, I hope to never see you on anything J2 related in future because none of us need that kind of negativity, *especially* not J2. Be gone, foul fiend!

OK, so to the too long part. Please be aware that these are my opinions as a fan of the show, of Sam and Dean, and J2, not only as a shipper. I can separate canon and fanon, and can view canon from a gen or shippy PoV. Whether you agree or disagree with my opinion let me be clear that I do not condone constant bashing and hate of a person or character so this isn’t the start of a regular thing for me. It's possible to have an opinion and not show the same vitriol that has been following this man around for years, and that’s what I’m doing. I've not posted this to prompt more negativity, it's simply to get it off my chest and make it clear how I feel. I stand by my philosophy of ship who you want to ship, enjoy it, but don't force it on other people and don't be a dick about it…hmm, that kinda sounds like familiar behaviour, though, does it not?!

I have ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUE with other people liking Misha, Cas or Destiel when it’s for the love of the characters and the ship. What I *do* have an issue with is people who are the true definition of a Heller. I don’t see that as a generic term, don't be ignorant and think I do because I know the difference between actual ship fans and the crazies, both ships have ‘em and I want no part of either of their venom. If you are reading this and class yourself as a Heller then you are part of the problem so run along and as you are all so fond of saying, 'get help' and take your bestie king with you.

I’m stating my opinion in what I feel is the most mature way I can, because unlike many people on SM, I am an adult and can act accordingly, with forethought and without resorting to temper tantrums and bullying of other people to get my point across. I am able to tell the difference between reality and fiction, I don't tar everyone with the same shipper brush and I don't expect everyone to agree with my opinion, but as we know opinions are like arseholes, we all have them and sometimes they stink. Unlike some, for the most part in life (online and offline) I *do* stand by what I say and don’t backtrack or delete things to appease the masses. I have spent a lot of time writing this out to be as clear as possible without being intentionally hateful. Bear with me jumping between actor and character where relevant, at this point they're conjoined. I will say this before I go any further, it doesn’t end well for Misha, I don’t mince my words and if you don’t like seeing facts and opinions laid out, this isn't the post for you.

I’ll say right off the bat what most of you have surmised - I’ve never held Misha (or Cas) in high esteem but I have never *hated* on him. I have shared mild criticism of his actions and opinions on Cas over the years but never, I feel, in any way that has made me feel I have something to apologise for. I have said several times I've been unhappy about Misha crashing con panels, taking attention away from J2 when at those cons *most* people paid their hard earned money to see the STARS of the show they love, first and foremost, and anyone else is a very nice bonus. The odd appearance here and there crashing a panel is fine (and Misha isn’t the first or last person to do it), maybe take up a few minutes then leave, but when someone commandeers an entire panel, that's just not on. It's not only selfish, rude and attention seeking but also disrespectful to other actors, fans and to the organisers who work hard to make sure everything ties in to give us the best con experience we can have. Everyone gets their turn on stage, there's no need to try and hog any more of the limelight, Veruca Salt style. Oh, and if you’re reading this and not getting that reference, (a) you shouldn’t be on my blog because you’re far too young, (b) look it up, and if you still don’t get what I’m saying… well then please refer to point (a). Thank you, kindly!

There was a time in Kripke's era where Cas was - I feel - intentionally used as a pawn by the writers to divert *canon* from the ‘questionable’ relationship between Sam and Dean, i.e. Wincest focus. Prior to that people (other fans) lightened up and just accepted the fact that Wincest had been there since day one in terms of the writing of the show and the fandom. All the cast and crew knew - J2, Kripke and JDM in particular - and made light of it, never judging, never shaming and often encouraging it because they understand it’s a fun part of fandom. Wincest was present enough to be part of the not so subtle subtext, as I said people just accepted it. Kink tomato was alive and well, so was ‘don’t like, don’t read’ and we all just scrolled over things we didn’t like without turning everything into a personal vendetta and excuse for bullying others who didn’t share our views. When the angels came into the plot I think most of us Wincest fans gave the Dean/Cas innuendos the small laugh they deserved and then turned back to the focus of the show which was the brothers, as it had always been intended. Misha, however, milked those moments as much as possible which was amusing at the start but got old *very* quickly, not just for fans (shippers and non shippers alike), but for other actors, in particular Jensen who is on record MULTIPLE times showing his dislike for Destiel. He told people outright that's not how he was playing the relationship between the two characters and CATEGORICALLY said "Destiel doesn't exist" but did it end there? No, it did not because neither fans or Misha let it go, in fact Misha only pushed more, goaded fans into flogging the same dead horse as much as possible. He’s never stopped, not even when there was so much discord in the fandom, a huge wedge was driven into it because of ships, which IMO he heavily contributed to.

Fast forward to over a decade later (a decade, seriously man, let it fucking go!) he didn’t even stop when Destiel did partially go canon. I have never doubted that Cas loved Dean (Sam, too) because in SPN lore angels are made to love, even rebellious ones. I, along with many others, liked that about Cas because who doesn't love a rebel, especially one rebelling for very good reasons, and because of those two wonderful men? Sam and Dean allowed him to see beyond what he'd been brainwashed to believe his entire existence. The fact is that although the nature of that love changed for Cas, it never did for Dean and was CANONICALLY UNREQUITED because Dean was incapable of loving anyone else as much as he loved Sam. All that mattered to Dean, even when he saw other characters as "family" was still Sam…ALWAYS Sam, every step of the way. Again for those who have too much Misha shaped wax in their ears, that’s canon. Whether people choose to see that love platonically or romantically is up to them, soulmates don't always have to be romantic, either way, brotherly love won out above all else on the show. No amount of Misha screaming ‘hey look, Destiel!’ changed that, but it sure didn’t stop him trying, did it?

So now that the obvious has been stated, here's something else we all know - never once in all of the years on the show did Misha drop rallying of the troops to his precious, ego stroking ship. Never once (that I am aware of) has he called out his Minions and Hellers on their continued harassment of everyone involved in the show and other fans despite the fact that they have bullied, victimised and wished bodily harm, rape and death on people who don't see their ship and because didn't get the ending to the story that they wanted. Not once has Misha shown any remorse for the trauma his "fans" have caused, and I’m taking REAL trauma, here, not the kind Twitter stans see as ‘triggering’ - people have been driven to close SM accounts, attempted, and in some cases succeeded in taking their own lives. These Minions have openly mocked Jared’s struggles with depression and anxiety, and Misha - who claims to be friends with J2 and be supportive of them in every way  - has stood by and let it all play out, knowing full well some of the goings on, if not the full extent of how toxic these people are. We know he sees things being said online, and I have absolutely no doubt he spends time online searching his name for things that are relevant in some way to him in an effort to insert himself into a current conversation, or even start one so that attention is on him. Gotta stay relevant, somehow, right, Mish?

He has actively encouraged bullying by his actions of enabling the behaviours above, both by the flogging of the aforementioned dead horse, AND by not objecting to unacceptable behaviours. Remember when Minions and Hellers were slating J2, particularly Jared, for not posting on SM about BLM and other topics? Yeah, he didn’t ask them to stop doing that, either, even when he was tagged in things along the lines of ‘If Misha can post why can’t J2?’ etc. There have been some token protests, con vids I've seen have show his 'objections' which IMO have been done in a very tongue in cheek way, meaning that those people who needed to be pulled aside and told to change their ways just carried on, because their evil overlord didn’t explicitly explain it in terms a three year old could understand that bullying and forcing your opinion on others is WRONG. Not all of his cult are young and impressionable, not by a long shot, but many of the more vocal and vitriolic ones are.

As a father himself I wonder what Misha would do if he found out that his kids were behaving in ways his Minions are? I’m aware they’re young, but kids are cruel and bullying doesn’t just happen online. Even at whatever age they are, would he laugh it off the way he appears to have done with all of this fandom toxicity? Not bloody likely! I wonder if he’s as desperate to gain the approval of his family, friends and colleagues as he appears to be for that of his Minions/Hellers? I would certainly hope so, but that question can only be answered by Misha, himself, and I can and will not presume to speak on someone else's behalf on things in their personal life. For the record I would never presume I know what J2's answers would be on anything, however I do feel that after 15 years I have an accurate gauge on what kind of people they are so would be confident that any opinion I had on a matter aligns with their morals and ethics. As much as J2 have shared of themselves with us - willingly and under no pressure to do so, I might add - we don't *know* them, but we know enough to have an informed opinion. I can’t say the same for Misha because based on the behaviour he’s repeatedly displayed, things I've heard about from other fans as well as people I know IRL who have had direct dealings with him through cons or GISH (including some very actively in the early days when it was GISHWHES) he just hasn’t seemed like a person I wanted to follow on SM. I’ve never watched any of his solo panels, though I have watched ones with both or one of the J's, mostly being left irritated because of his behaviour. Watching the J’s put up with that shit is painful, and it’s a testament to how good they are as actors that they managed to hide at least some of their disdain for as long as they did. Microexpressions give them away, particularly Jensen, and they certainly have faces I have spent many years watching closely. Beautiful faces to go with beautiful souls, both of them! <3

I have precisely ZERO interest in Destiel as a ship, very little interest in Cas as a character anymore (though I did like him in the early days,and his relationship with Jack in late seasons) so I have absolutely no reason or desire to follow anything Misha does. That said, I've obviously been peripherally aware of some things he's been involved in because of friends, from things I’ve seen on SM and general fandom stuff. Despite the things I've already mentioned about his behaviour, up until now I have been able to maintain a level of respect for him as a person because of the humanitarian and charity work he's done. He seems like someone who really does want to change the world for the better and I am in full support of that fact, so much so that I have supported TWO campaigns relating to him. I bought one of the Super Good t-shirts for the campaign he did with Michael Sheen (a true angel!), the SPN/Good Omens x-over to help homeless charities, and I chose the design with text only and not artwork of Michael and Misha on, basically because I didn’t want to be wearing something with Misha’s face on it and I make absolutely no apology for that, whatsoever. I also bought Alex's #TheEndHasNoEnd shirt, which some of the profits went to Random Acts who do great work, so again, despite not liking Misha I still willingly contributed for a cause bigger than me, and to support Alex, who I absolutely ADORE. I'm aware that Stands aren't popular with some of the fandom, however since most of the cast of SPN are happily affiliated with them then I don't feel it's my place to either judge, or to discuss topics I know next to nothing about. But I digress, as a decent human being I have shown support tangentially to a man who I don't care for out of respect for the work he does outside the fandom. Telling you this isn’t to paint myself in a good light - I don’t need your approval, I’m a big girl, unlike some I don’t need constant validation! - only to provide background on how I’ve actively *not* hated on Misha.

Now though, any respect I had for him has come to an abrupt end, the events of the past 24 hours has seen to that. Whilst I have been annoyed at his behaviour in regards to shipping, I don't feel it's ever gone this far, or at least not that I've seen first hand. This man has, IMO, contributed to so much toxicity in the fandom by way of things I've mentioned before, he's claimed - without actually saying the words - that Wincest fans weren't interested in him as a character when he came onto the show, and hasn’t felt included because of the fans’ love of the brothers. Um, hate to break it to you, love, but when you come onto an established show that is about two people, and you’re a *guest star* you can’t expect everyone to love you. Some characters we as individuals do fall in love with straight away (Bobby, Charlie, Crowley and Rowena are good examples for me), it takes time to establish a dynamic, so if that’s how he felt then it was incredibly naive of him as an actor to expect instant acceptance from anyone. Also, why wait until after the show finished to bring it up AGAIN … oh wait, yeah, that would be to step back into the limelight in a way intended to garner sympathy from Minions and INTENTIONALLY piss off bro fans and Wincest shippers alike? How fucking self centred, desperate and disrespectful do you have to be to shit all over the finale of a show that for the most part accepted you and kept you in paid work for 12 years? Well, Misha Collins levels of all of those things, obviously.  

So, on the topics of self centred, desperate to stay relevant, attention seeking and being oh so needy, the tweet yesterday from Amazon mentioned Castiel. He wasn’t tagged in it, so I refer to my earlier comment about searching online, because how else would he have possibly seen that? It’s possible someone sent it to him, I appreciate that, but if we go off past behaviour it’s not any stretch at all to believe that didn’t happen. So, once again, having seen the tweet he took it upon himself to - oh so predictably - turn it into something relating to Destiel. When I saw it I immediately rolled my eyes and thought ‘here we go again’, but then also had a little smile because I really liked the fact that he explicitly mentioned Wincest, therefore seeming to accept that his poor old dead horse wasn’t the only one in the race. I actually mentally tipped my hat to him then because it appeared that he’s matured enough to acknowledge by name the ship that predates his inclusion on the show. Great, I thought, this is a positive thing in a sea of negativity surrounding the man and his sunken ship, because what followed was Wincest trending in the US (it may also have been other countries as well but I had to sleep!) … largely due to the fact that Hellers were responding to it, calling him out on mentioning the dreaded ‘W’ word. I’ll repeat that because it’s been a rare occurrence up to that point… the Minions were actually disappointed with their overlord for mentioning another ship. We all know what they think of it and I for one, don’t give a flying fuck about their opionion. Ship and let ship, it’s all fun (or meant to be) so we have different tastes, that’s life kiddiwinks, deal with it. I mean, you really don’t have much of an example set for you when your king has proven several times over to be one of the biggest obnoxious brats out there, but just give it a try for your own sakes, yeah? Awesome, good on you, besties!

An unexpected development - to my joy and that of other Wincest shippers - them doing that got the topic trending, only *kept* trending by the fact that were all coming online asking why it was trending. Wincest shippers barely lifted a finger, we just flooded each other’s timelines with lovely content and basked in the Hellers - and Misha - shooting themselves in the foot, which was awesome. But did the vitriol stop? No. Did he get the attention he so clearly craves? Yes. Was it in the way he wanted? Fuck no, so poor, emotionally wounded baby backtracked after seeing that his name was trending alongside Wincest because that’s *so* not what someone narcissistic to do it in the first place, wanted.

Now here’s where I could easily have just moved on with an unusually fond chuckle, giving him an ironic pat on the back and a ‘thanks, Misha’ for being the one to instigate hours of fun, but once again his despicable behaviour made that impossible. It’s been more than obvious for many years that he cares more about what his fans think than anything else to do with the show and the fandom in a larger sense, but to delete the tweet and APOLOGISE for daring to be so insensitive to the snowflakes’ delicate sensibilities for mentioning Wincest in the first place was absolutely disgusting. Stating , “I used a term that I had never really given any thought to other than, "that's a thing?! Yuck." is not only complete and utter bullshit, it’s pandering of the highest order.  

We all know he has referred to Wincest on multiple occasions, so to say he hadn’t thought about is a flat out lie, which IMO is an insult to everyone, not just Wincest shippers. Does the man have no self respect at all, why would you contradict yourself in the face of such overwhelming evidence? Instead of either ignoring all the people calling him out, or addressing it with another tweet saying ‘yeah, that happened’ or something similar he chose, I repeat, CHOSE the route of claiming he didn’t realise he was being offensive to people who felt ‘triggered’ by him using the word Wincest. He basically shat all over an entire ship and large sector of the fandom in an attempt to appease his own fan base which consists of a lot of children (or those that act like children) who have no idea what RL is like.

Once again, he’s reinforced the idea that if you shout loud enough at someone just because you don’t like something they said, they will back down and apologise for something even when there’s nothing to apologise for. If he wants to be such a role model then he could easily have pointed out that a fictional ship doesn’t condone RL incest, any ACTUAL trauma people have suffered because of RL situations, and made an effort to make sure people understand that. He COULD have used it as an opportunity to do some good in the fandom by encouraging people to build bridges, to accept that people are entitled to their beliefs and that sometimes we see things differently but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t treat others with BASIC HUMAN DECENCY because of it. Instead he YET AGAIN chose to show that he cares more about what Minions think of him, keeping them onside to constantly stroke his unbelievably fragile ego in everything he does.

It is my understanding that Misha is big on (or claims to be big on) putting positive energy out into the world, treating people with respect, helping others and accepting people for who they are, not who you want them to be… all this after YEARS of consistently practising what he preaches only when it suits him. He sends out a message that it’s perfectly OK to bully, to spread hate, to draw attention to yourself at the cost of others, to throw colleagues and friends under the bus and at the same time use them to further your own agenda and get hits for your YouTube channel. Is this really the legacy he wants to leave? Is this an environment he wants his own kids to grow up in as well as future generations? Is this what he thinks is a valuable contribution as a human being? JFC, the arrogance, hypocrisy and the need for constant validation this man exhibits is nothing short of cringeworthy… actually it’s beyond that. It’s deplorable behaviour, it’s not new, and he will continue to act like this for as long as he’s being enabled and this harmful cycle needs to end.

I have friends IRL and online who are (now, possibly, were) big Misha fans, who have supported him from either the beginning of his run on the show, or since they started watching, and this is how he repays this behaviour? He’s willfully alienating decent people (including multishippers) all to make himself look good by being seen to do everything he can not to offend people. Spoiler alert, you DID offend people, you continue to do so time and again and we’ve had enough. I can’t imagine how exhausting it must be to be such a perpetual people pleaser, but let me say it’s not doing you any favours in any way, shape or form.

Misha, you are *not* a role model, you’re *not* someone to look up to when you can't live up to the ideals you preach. You’re spitting in the face of people who have supported you even after some questionable things in the past, who gave you the benefit of the doubt because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. The key to growing as a person is not to keep repeating the same mistakes over and over, understanding *why* what you said and/or did was a mistake and making a concerted effort to make changes. I don’t ever see you doing that, you will continue down this path of only caring about Minions under the guise of caring for people in general. You are transparent, you are sad and despite the fact I’ve never particularly liked you, I didn’t speak up because I didn’t want to get involved in the drama. Well now I have spoken up and I’m saying you’re a disgrace, you have no respect for other people and nobody is fooled anymore. If it hadn’t been this tweet it would have been something else, but I for one am glad it happened so soon after the show ended so we can finally be rid of the limpet-like behaviour. It’s over, let it go for the sake of what dignity you might have left, for the sake of your family and friends and for the sake of anyone who isn’t capable of seeing through your ‘it’s a joke’ mentality.

You have been weighed, you have been measured and you have been found wanting. Fuck you and the horse you rode in on, Misha.

For anyone who made it to the end of my ramble, thank you. This has been a cathartic exercise and I’m drawing a line under it now, I don’t think I could possibly make my thoughts any clearer. I urge you not to get caught up in any petty squabbles with his Minions, let’s celebrate J2 and other cast and crew members who have shown us all respect and who I am proud to call part of the SPN family. There’s always one member of the family who needs to be frozen out for the good of everyone else.

#ficforthought speaks #sorry not sorry #i spent way too long on this #purging the poison

[probably-haven]

Hello!! After seeing what you wrote about xiaoven fics I went to see what things you usually write and omg, your archon Venti headcanons????? I am absolutely in love. So if it isn't annoying, could you talk about xiaoven or Venti or Xiao or whatever ship or character you like? I don't care what you are going to say, I just want to know more about your thoughts ^^

I- is this... bestie, this is essentially a free ramble pass- kerujsgheskdfug. Trust me when I say that in no way is this, and in no way will it ever be annoying in the slightest- i literally- lets just say rambling off thoughts is kind of my specialty, especially when provided a topic to branch off of because otherwise I'm just- really indecisive about it so- iujskdh yeah- 100% definitely down to talk about Venti, Xiao, and/or Xiaoven XD. Also, yes- it may have been awhile since i last posted one(cuz again, indecisive about which direction to take part 5), but the Archon War Era Venti headcanons are still without a doubt my favorite posts I've made. It's just such an interesting topic with such endless potential that so few people actually think about or consider or even realize is there, so i always just get really psyched whenever i see someone interact with them lol.

.... this ended up being a bit of a mess: warning in advance

Anyway! onto the actual content!

- You see the thing about Xiaoven is that there's a lot of different ways that it could end up working out, and just personally my favorite way of portraying Xiaoven in my mind is as an unlabeled relationship because if anyone in genshin would give off that vibe its these two. And a number of other reasons.

- Firstly, I heavily headcanon Venti as being an aroace polyplatonic or perhaps heavily demiromantic. However, regardless of this I just don't think that Venti is really the kind of person to worry about how he should label his feelings, thinking it's silly to try to put them in one box or the other, especially with feelings and emotions being as fluid as they are in general. Plus it fits his whole God of Freedom vibe. I just- dont think he's the biggest fan of labels or social categorization in general.

- And secondly on the hand of Xiao... his defense mechanisms are very much ingrained in his personality. It's probably hard enough for him to not go into fight or flight(the answer is fight) at the slightest affection at first, at the slightest feeling of vulnerability. Even further down the line, with his fierce dedication to Liyue, I cant help but get the vibe that the moment he recognized that he was falling for Venti he would begin avoiding him, not only to avoid distraction from his duty, but to avoid corrupting him or losing him in general like he has with like basically every other person he gets close with(even believing that the cycle had repeated once more when he first heard of Morax's death)... now imagine Venti tryna slap a label on their relationship and tell me Xiao would have a positive reaction.

- The thing with Xiaoven.... honestly, i feel like theres more ways that it can go wrong than it can go right, but if they do manage to make their relationship work out, it's just simply beautiful in all terms of the word.

- Lets talk about killing. - During the Archon War, both were forced to kill a large number of people and gods alike- Venti out of a need to remain alive to protect Mondstadt, it's freedom, and the nameless bard's legacy by extent- and Xiao out of servitude to the god that was once his master

..... actually- break here- ive talked a lot about Venti on this blog but I havent actually spoken about Xiao all that much- so i should probably do that a bit first... do note though that my characterization of Xiao is pretty flexible actually- this is just- the possible characterization of him that i tend to favor as being the most- uh- "realistically complex"

-

Theres a line I saw this one time in a certain story: "He is a trained weapon. That's what he is, was, and always will be. You cannot change that so stop trying." And i just- think its a really interesting concept- that applies pretty well to Xiao now that i actually think about it. - the concept behind it is this: After spending more than a vast majority of his life killing or otherwise in battle, it's become a part of who he is, a normalcy that after centuries and centuries would be near impossible to get rid of or reverse, and even if it was possible, with his karmic debt constantly eating away at him its unlikely he has enough time left for that to happen. - it sounds like a cruel thing to say about him- but in context it's actually pretty layered and i think about it a lot. It's not as much a "he's a killer lol, that his whole personality" its more of a "The centuries of trauma he experienced have conditioned him into a constantly alert and battle ready mindset while also shaping his dehumanizing inferior-in-worth-but-superior-in-capability view of himself that would have likely been necessary to get through those time, and at this point he's been under that conditioning for long enough that it's essentially ingrained itself in his personality."

- the main idea is- it's a part of who he is, that needs to be accepted as who he is because its not something that he can just up and change. It's not all he is of course but his constant battle mode, as though always waiting to be ambushed or to be granted a new target to eradicate.

a couple character story quotes:

-"His past of service under the evil god had rid Xiao of his innocence and gentleness. All that remained within him was the means to kill and the weight of his sins. The only way he could be of service to mortals was in combat." -"Xiao does not feel any hatred. Having lived for over two thousand years, no single karmic debt constitutes anything more than a fleeting memory. No grudge can last a thousand years; nor is any debt so great that it cannot be paid off in this time. Xiao has spent many long years alone. But his battles have never been in vain." -"where did Xiao have to return to? He was merely leaving the battlefield." -"since Xiao wages a constant war against dark forces powerful enough to devour Liyue in its entirety, any bystanders who witness him in the heat of battle are likely to end up as collateral damage." -"The war he fights can never be won, and will never come to an end." -"Because ultimately, the one with whom Xiao wrestles is himself."

i feel like at some point this very nearly did consume his whole personality, almost turning him into nothing more than a being of slaughter under Morax's control, devoid of any "humanity" at all, consumed and corrupted by his karmic debt like his fellow yakshas before him. - until he experienced a moment of clarity- a song in the wind, the peaceful melody of a dihua flute. - and pulled back from the border of something he wouldnt have been able to return from, there a was a shift in his mind- a concept grown unfamiliar enough with time that it took him a great time to identify what it was; a curiosity. Something that there was no place for on the battlefield, something that by all means should have been completely useless to Xiao, and yet he held onto that curiosity, slowly regaining over time, a sense of who he was and who he could choose to be with each song that the wind chose to carry towards him every once in a blue moon.

and eventually that curiousity turned to longing. Longing "for a day to come when he will wear the mask and dance — not to conquer demons, but to the tune of that flute amid a sea of flowers"

...... uh- heh- if you couldn’t tell already i have a tendency to make my characterizations/analyses of characters more serious that i probably should. 

to summarize: Xiao is constantly toeing the line between his ingrained nature and his humanity- almost as though still trying to decide how much of that humanity he deserves to have, how much he is allowed to have, and how much is safe to have.

^looking back after writing this, i think the best way to explain it is that this is the view that i keep in mind/the lense that i tend to most enjoy looking through and refering back to while examining and/or analyzing his character, actions, story, lines, and overall personality.

idk- i kinda got off track but i just think its a really interesting interpretation to think about because it has some really interesting implications ig- it’s not the full extent of how i view him of course, but i kinda got ahead of myself and its long enough as is so ill just elaborate as i go- Lol i actually have in progress playlists for both him and venti and just- vibes- i could ramble about the playlists alone for hours explaining everything... It’s probably a problem- uh- ill keep going now lol.

anyways! stepping off the angst path for a brief break! Brought to you by their lines in the snow: both waiting for it to get thick enough, Venti for the purpose of a snowball fight and Xiao for the purpose of a tasty and nutritious breakfast.

but its actually something of note that Xiao doesnt actually need to eat so anything he does eat is usually out of obligation or enjoyment- so like.... snow.... like i dont blame him, but of all things- an adeptus who refuses to eat basically anything but almond tofu looks at the freezing-cold-floor-water that yeeted itself from above and decided at some point- damn- that seems more edible than basically ever single actually edible thing ever.... im gonna eat it- like- im glad if eating snow makes him happy but- at the same time...

He probably convinces Venti to eat snow too though and Venti wouldnt even resist I mean he’s wind and has probably consumed worse things in his time so- 2 anemo cryptids with glowing tattoos sitting in Dragonspine monching snow in the dead of night is an amusing thought to me.

- kay, now back to more serious-toned thoughts

One of the things about the ship that i really like is the different contradicting parallels between them:

A lot of how i view Xiao’s character is someone formed largely by the things he cant control and who was forced to accept that accepted that and learned to thrive in it as much as he can.  Venti on the other hand is surrounded by things he cant control and is ever adapting to control as much as he can while embracing whatever he cant as being part of the unpredictability of the world, seeing beauty in it. 

both of them have lost people and do what they do to honor their memory: Xiao continues to do what the Yakshas once did And Venti chooses to do what his friend couldn’t

Xiao’s power coming from himself  and Venti’s from others And both seem to appear to use their power for their own gain while truly helping others behind the scenes

both have killed a lot of people during the archon war Xiao views it as another necessary event out of his control and Venti would likely view it as a tragedy he chose to enact himself

and this is where we meet out balance

Xiao- contrary to how i think a lot of people view him as thinking of himself as a monster- seems canonically to have accepted this as part of his duty, as long as those he killed are not mortals. I dont think he enjoys it no- but someone has to do it and he’s just accepted that its a part of his duty Venti on the other hand-

See the beauty of the ship- as someone with an angst-centric mind- is this- these are two of the most traumatized mfers in the game 

Xiao is by far the one who needs the most help and who can serve to benefit most from the ship- but he is nowhere near self aware enough to recognize that there’s anything wrong or unhealthy about his mindset in the slightest-

whereas you have the contrast with Venti who sorted through most of his trauma with the nameless bard alone during the archon war and while the result appears more healthy- is still really not- but he’s not self aware of that either because i mean- who’s going to tell him? nobody even knows. 

however- venti is aware enough to notice flaws in Xiao’s mindset and “Venti” enough to want to help them through it-

Xiao- while not aware enough to recognize the flaws in Venti’s mindset, can recognize where it contrasts with his own, and is blunt enough to point it out- and then it’s out there to be mulled over- 

they’re so similar and yet so different and a feel just conversing between the two of them, being in each others precense, just being exposed to two mindsets that are so very different could do both of them a whole lot of good.

GEEE THAT BIT OF RAMBLING HAD LITTLE TO NO DIRECTION AT ALL- LET ME-- LET ME MAKE THIS START MAKING SENSE- WITH... DYNAMICS OR SOMETHING

I don’t think Xiao needs to sleep really- and i dont think that sleeping would do anything except make him uneasy at first- he’d probably just get nightmares after all he’s been through- but with Venti he would soon learn that it doesn’t have to be that way, lulled into the first peaceful sleep he’s had in... as long as he can remember.

anywho back to not making sense cuz im fickle and i think most questions about ships are best displayed through character interactions so like- a possible exchange thats cliche but cliches exist for a reason

Xiao: Why do you try so hard to help me, it isn’t easy. I know that much Venti, with the most adoring expression: Because you’re worth it, obviously Xiao: But surely there are others more deserving of- Venti: No Xiao, everyone is just as deserving as the next person, you included Xiao: Then why me above others? Venti: ehe, cuz ur my warrior of course [O//////O oh shit, hes right] Xiao: My contract is with Morax alone [gay panic but in broody yaksha]

it’s kinda difficult cuz neither of them really address their feelings.  I mean Venti does but he does it very indirectly and its rare that he ever does it with like- genuine directness- even spilling his backstory was in the form of a song- and told in the third person- so a lot of their interactions would often have some deeper meaning, especially with Venti being the bard he is. 

I come up with a lot of- errant thoughts about Xiaoven- but this is making me realize that a true analysis of their ship is rather difficult because it just encompasses so many dynamics so its hard to settle on just one and not go rambling about who knows what bouncing from one end of the ship to the other-  Because you truly can and thats the beauty of it

within one moment you can be having a heartfelt conversation about the archon war the impact of lost friends and times past, and the next moment Venti is trying to forcefeed Xiao an apple while Xiao screams about disrespecting the adepti and its just- so lovely

so while they have picnics with nothing but apples, dandelion wine, and almond tofu they can sit down and talk about the dreams Xiao once devoured, and the dandelion wine and apple cider that the first Ragnvindir invented from the plants that never could have grown in Old Mond. The foods that tasted of familiarity, or of the grilled ticker fish Pervases always used to eat, foods that tasted of friends and frankly family that had since passed, glaze lilies and cecilias and qingxin flowers scattered in the surroundings and woven into Xiao’s neat braids and Venti’s now messy ones, rebraided by the steady and inexperienced hands of one unused to gentle action. 

and then of course Venti steals Xiao’s tofu once the mood becomes too grim and replaces it with a bottle of wine that Xiao refers to as “vile poison,” a remark that fatally wounds Venti as he collapses on the floor, proclaiming how he can only be healed by a Yaksha’s kiss. Xiao ignores this of course and simply takes back his tofu with a slight smile on his face, but as Venti persists he soundlessly places a kiss on his own palm before intertwining their fingers and pulling him back up from where he was dramatically sprawled on the floor, grumbling about how such action was “unbecoming of an archon.” A sign of affection only Xiao would ever know about. But Venti is literally wind and I hc his senses work differently anyways so he definitely knows- plus Xiao’s face is red as the blood of his enemies and the way he is pointedly not looking at Venti at all really speaks volumes anyways. 

 -Venti playing epic battle music whenever Xiao goes into fights in what looks like a ridiculously extra performance to anyone else but is actually doing wonders to keep Xiao’s karma at bay

-Venti preaches the practice of “kissing wounds better” and Xiao is unfamiliar with this medical treatment but views it as unnecessary regardless because adepti have accelerated healing, doesn’t mean he’s going to stop him though. 

-Messages whispered on the wind

-Venti’s 1000 year sleep- an accident, not a fun time for the yaksha, and not a fun time for Venti once he woke up. Venti is actually more afraid of restful sleep than Xiao is, hence the sleeping in trees thing, but when Xiao is there, he can sleep restfully with faith that Xiao wont let another millennia slip through his fingertips. 

- Xiao tends to make excuses when doing things that aren’t necessary to his duty, like in his birthday voice line “Have this, it’s a butterfly i made from leaves... Okay. Take it. It’s an adepti amulet -- it staves off evil” because at the current point in his progress it helps him to feel like he’s allowed to do these things. Not wanting to put him off from progress, Venti never comments on his excuse but never fails to whisper a quick reminder of how proud he is of how far Xiao had come.

- Xiao’s karma saddens Venti greatly- not only because of how it effects Xiao but also because its a reminder that as much as Venti tries to honor the memory of those he’s killed, there will always be those who resent him for it, and when he took the option of living away from them, he truly can’t blame them. - And when he gets too wrapped up in thoughts, whether around this topic or similar ones or otherwise, eventually, he’ll hear the sound of a flute on the wind. It’s not divine by any means, but as his own wind connects him to the source, he gets the sentiment all the same. “What impact does one individual’s remaining wrath have on the present. You have done much to help the living in the present” the unspoken idea that Xiao has included himself in that statement, because now, with Venti’s help he’s beginning to learn just how to experience living for himself. 

- Venti’s form and Xiao’s mask are off limit topics though because if either mentions it the other will counter with the opposite and the mood will turn immediately bitter at the idea that both know that what they’re doing is destructive but neither are willing to change

- Venti who has different tells for negative feelings than most people because as much as he likes to pretend it is- this form isnt his, and Xiao who is able to identify those

- many fanfics and headcanons have Venti recognizing when Xiao is uncomfortable and getting him out of those situations. I see that and I love it but i raise you: - Venti taking Xiao to Mondstadt, careful that he doesn’t get to the point that he’s uncomfortable. And nothing goes wrong exactly, but Xiao notices the the way Venti’s cape is blowing in the wind, the way he’s holding his weight, barely on his feet so much as floating on the wind, connected with the ground only for the sake of appearance, all the while he looks just as happy go lucky as ever. And without a word, he grabs his hand and teleports them both out of Mondstadt.  - turns out it was just a slight thing that reminded him of the archon war (cuz i will die on the hill of him having more tragic backstory than just Decarabian), and he of course gives a sincere if not flustered thanks to Xiao, because he’s really not used to people noticing. 

- Venti trying to vent sneakily through fictional stories and Xiao is just like “Didn’t that basically happen to you” and Venti is just like “<_< shit”

- Venti once said affectionally that he wished he had met Xiao sooner and Xiao immediately and seriously shot it down by saying “If you had, I would have been forced to kill you” and both of them now stay up at night wondering who would have won that fight, not sure which result would have hurt more. (because honestly I have no idea who would win in that fight and that terrifies me- I like to think it would have been one of those legends that end with “and the fight persists to this day” or something along those lines)

- “How long have you been together?” “Adepti have no need for-” “1000+ years T^T how dare you deny our love” “O///O our...? ...useless”

- its disney- let me explain- i have this- i have this headcanon inspired by watching too many animatics- - so venti has a human form that isnt his- which he would have had to get used to moving in- and he’s a bard- - uh- anyway- as a third degree black belt in mixed martial arts, i can speak as an authority on this(not really an authority since i havent gone since quarantine but lets pretend). We have a thing referred to as the big three(most things do), and those things are martial arts, gymnastics, and dance. The idea is that they reflect really well off of each other and the best in any one category are good in all three. Timing, balance, form, discipline, technique, hand-eye coordination, grace, ease of motion, they all play a part- anyway-

- Venti taking Xiao’s prowess in martial arts and acrobatics and teaching him how to dance, and as someone who’s extremely skilled in the first two, the third comes easy to him, almost naturally. And it’s delicate and beautiful and lovely and it isn’t hurting anyone. And Venti points all these things out and more and despite how much Xiao insists that he feels ridiculous he truly does enjoy it and it goes a long way towards helping him form more healthy views of himself and his worth.  - Verr Goldett walked in on him once and made a joke about performing at the inn. unfortunately Venti was there and agreed on Xiao’s behalf before he could protest and- and it wasn’t as bad as Xiao thought it would be... he still wouldn’t do it again though without reason, but with good enough reasoning he could probably be convinced. 

- anyways point is he likes dancing to Venti’s songs and i just think that’s really cute - just picture the idea that all the animatics you see actually have the potential to be canon- ugh

- venti tries holding something out of Xiao’s reach since he’s taller and Xiao just fucking teleports 

- both need their space but when they dont, all they have to do is speak the other’s name and they’ll be there.

- and because i just had to.... love languages

- lets start with Xiao- i don’t think he’d view acts of service or quailty time as a love language tbh, and he blunt but really bad with words so affirmation is out, leaving gift giving and physical touch. However, he seems to view most material things as meaningless so- - Xiao who’s love language is in his fleeting touches, something he’s only recently grown comfortable with because of Venti, and now is giving back, which he knows he doesn’t have to do, but that he want’s to, though he’ll still continue to make excuses for each one. “you were shivering” “The inn is high up, you could have fallen..... I said what I said, you’d question an adeptus?”

- and as easy as it is to say words of affirmation for Venti- he does that for everyone- i want to say his is actually acts of service - its the acts of service that let him see just how much Xiao has progressed afterall, from teaching him to dance, to playing another song on the flute, to supplying him with the almond tofu he seems to enjoy so much. Every little thing he does helps Xiao to grow and he couldn’t be happier about that. 

-

- of course most of my headcanons for the ship do take place latter into the relationship because- y’know the less serious unhealthy vibes allow for greater range of thought, but i do still love to think about the serious implications so i kinda hopped back and forth. So sorry about how messy it is btw, i kinda- got carried away- it kinda got some kind of structure near the end tho so- maybe it’s okay. anyway- back to... lol something, we’ll see where thought forests lead. 

#genshin impact #genshin xiao #genshin venti #xiao #venti #xiaoven #genshin analysis #genshin headcanons #xiaoven headcanons #xiaoven analysis #this is a mess i really shouldnt be putting all these tags but oh well #oh wow the grammar and spelling here is truly repulsive #sorry to all my english teachers i have failed you all

[renaerys]

22. for reds 🤡

This is 100% not what you asked for (yet...👀), but I give you part 1 of what we're calling the Weird King AU. I'm turning this into a proper multi-chapter High School fic because I love you and I'd jump on any bandwagon for you.

xxx

Like most young, conventionally attractive Supervillains, Brick had made a bit of a habit of failing upwards. It was pretty easy in a town full of simpering morons content to project their own narrative assumptions onto him, and who was he to crush their dreams when they made his life a little easier?

For example, dating.

“You can tell me, you know.” His cute date, Tracy, sipped her milkshake across from him.

“Tell you what?”

She softened and reached her hand across the table. “Your tragic backstory. I’ll listen without judgment, I promise.”

Brick tried to think of something tragic, but it all seemed pretty underwhelming as far as Supervillain origin stories went. “You mean like how I was born in a toilet?”

She made an oh shape with her lips. “We all have those days where we feel like we were born in a toilet, Brick.”

He’d dated Tracy for three months before she broke up with him out of the blue in tears: sorry she couldn’t fix his baggage, she just wasn’t strong enough to handle all that tortured darkness, but she wished him nothing but health and happiness. Brick deleted her number from his phone and spent twenty whole minutes staring at the toilet in his bathroom, wondering what the lesson here was.

But everything changed when Mojo got out of prison and moved Brick and his brothers back to Townsville, where he enrolled them in the local high school alongside their former arch nemeses, the Powerpuff Girls.

Suddenly, everything Brick did pre-supposed ill intent. These people remembered him as the pest who had graffitied their local monuments and blown up their cars and endangered their children. They held no love for him, and at best they feared him. This was not Citiesville, where he’d been a tall, cold glass of Voss water in a sea of recycled Dasani.

He found himself thinking about his birthing toilet again as he stepped into the cafeteria alone and the conversation quieted down as his new classmates watched him from the safety of their tables. His next moves here were critical. He was no longer at the top of the food chain, but fear and mystery surrounding his origins and character gave him a certain power over his peers.

“Yea, though I walk through the valley of social suicide, I will fear no cringe,” he said to himself.

The jocks were out. Capable though he may be, Brick was not much of a team player unless there was a blood contract involved requiring his participation on pain of satanic torture. The drama kids were also a hard pass, not because he thought drama was lame, but because they had barely noticed him walk in, and Brick did not have the energy to deal with people more self-involved than himself. Some of the unaffiliated tables could be safe, but without a good understanding of the nuanced social dynamics in the high school, he could be heading toward irreversible doom, and that was a risk he was not willing to take.

He saw his salvation just ahead. It was the only option, all else being equal. In an environment where he couldn’t be certain of his baseline status and potential for upward mobility, there was greatness to be had only by association and certainty only in the devil he knew.

Brick helped himself to the empty seat directly across from Blossom Utonium to a chorus of gasps and staring.

Blossom did not startle like her table mates had. She watched him critically behind a head full of bangs as she balanced her soup spoon in her hand. “Really.”

Brick unwrapped the burrito he’d purchased in the lunch line and brandished it before him. “Really.”

He took a bite of the burrito. It was not hot enough. The two girls to Blossom’s left whispered to each other about that bad boy and he’s hot, though.

Blossom daintily spooned soup into her mouth without spilling a single drop as she continued to watch Brick for signs of his imminent dark side transformation.

The guy next to Brick was brave enough to ask him what his next class was. Brick had a mouth full of disappointing burrito, so he passed the guy the printout of his class schedule in lieu of answering.

“Wow, all APs, huh? Hey, we’re in U.S. History together next period, nice. I’m Mike Believe, by the way. Brick Jojo, right?”

Brick didn’t answer him immediately on account of the burrito currently occupying his mouth hole, and Mike took it the wrong way.

“Oh, yeah, we all know who you are. Blossom sort of filled us in.” He winced like he’d inadvertently revealed a terrible secret.

Brick swallowed his food and washed it down with a gulp of water. “Saves me some time.”

Mike looked super relieved. “For sure! Hey, I could lend you my notes if you want to catch up. Gershwin’s giving a quiz on the Progressive Era on Friday, and she’s a hard-ass who definitely won’t care that you just transferred…”

Brick chewed on his lunch as Mike continued to talk at him about classes and other vaguely helpful, albeit uninteresting, information. But Mike seemed normal enough, a little chatty but not in an overeager sort of way. Blossom was no longer clocking his every move and seemed to be absorbed in her friend’s latest swim team cheating scandal, until Brick reached for his water bottle and she suddenly laser-focused on his wandering hand.

Her keen attention to him was honestly flattering, if expected. It was in his nature to be noticed, and in this narrow respect she was no different from anyone else whose head he turned. If she chose to feed her interest with the flames of suspicion, then it was no difference to him.

But if she was anything like him—and on a chemical level she was probably the closest to him that a person could get—he suspected it took tremendous effort to hold her full and sustained attention. The world they inhabited was as vapid and mundane as the humans that surrounded them, and even the most gracious of gods grew bored of worship. Which explained all the smiting and fucking and generational curses upon entire households in everything from Greek mythology to the Old Testament.

Brick was pretty deep into a fantasy of Blossom going full Ixion and the Wheel on the swim team when Mike tapped his shoulder. “You ready to go?”

It took him a moment to realize the bell had rung and he had a class to get to—AP U.S. History with Mike, apparently. Brick gathered his tray and his bag and followed Mike. When he looked back at the table, Blossom was already gone.

xxx

That whole first week was painfully boring. No one bullied him, or pranked him, or picked a fight with him, of course. But no one really approached him, either. His brothers were more determined to make an effort. Boomer announced he was trying out for the soccer team because there was no rule saying a Super with extremely well documented ties to active criminals and the forces of Hell couldn’t kick a ball around a field. Butch had gotten himself invited to a midnight screening of Snakes on a Plane in some rich kid’s home movie theater, but only after that same kid had accidentally spilled milk on Butch and burst into tears in front of a cafeteria full of Juniors and Seniors. Brick declined the invitation Butch extended to him. He had that AP U.S. History exam to study for on Friday, anyway.

He shared all of his classes with Blossom. Even in the classes where her assigned seat was behind his and he couldn’t see her, he could feel her lobotomizing stare at the back of his head whenever she glanced up from her notebook. And while Mike’s notes were perfectly adequate and the friendly gesture counted for more than the content (a gesture Brick would not soon forget), there was a far more efficient way to accomplish his goal of murdering the class averages while also taking the edge off his loner doldrums.

“Can I borrow your class notes?”

Blossom rose from her seat and pulled her hair tie out to re-do her extremely long ponytail. She held the elastic between her teeth as she worked. Her teeth were very straight, he noticed. Some pretty nice girl-teeth, generally speaking.

“Which class?”

“All of them.”

He watched her wind the elastic around her hair with quick, adroit fingers. “That’s a lot of notes.”

“You’re the top of every class. No point in asking anyone else.”

She moved toward the hall. He followed her out. “Why would I help you?”

A legitimate question delivered without venom. Unlike her sister Buttercup, who’d “run into” Brick after school on Monday and told him to watch his back, Blossom didn’t have to do anything but maintain a general proximity to make her superiority complex known. Which was the kind of flex he could fuck with.

“Isn’t helping people sort of your mandate?”

They had arrived at her locker, which she opened with enough force to rattle the hinges. “I help the helpless. Are you helpless, Brick?”

Brick smiled at her baiting. Had she ever actually said his name at a normal volume before? It sounded good even in her baseline bitch timbre. “Critically helpless. I’m the new student who transferred in the middle of the semester, and you’re the only person who knows me.”

A couple other students clearly trying to get to the lockers Brick was blocking hovered just out of reach. They whispered to each other, but neither of them actually worked up the courage to ask Brick to move. He ignored them.

Blossom rummaged in her locker for the binder she would need for the next class. “Make friends.”

“Working on it.”

The locker door slammed and she faced him. There was something confrontational in the way she held herself before him that kicked him in the nuts back in time thirteen years to their more uncouth days when all he wanted to do was destroy her so he’d be the only one. Now they were older and wiser and he actually did need her notes to study, so destroying her was not high on his list of priorities.

“You want to be my friend.”

“We have so much in common.”

“So do lions and hyenas.”

“Both are apex predators, so.”

She took a step closer and peered up at him. Brick did not move, although he wondered what was so interesting about his face. She probably just thought he was hot. She was probably as bored as he was. She probably—

“You have lettuce in your teeth.”

Brick pulled back and covered his mouth on instinct. God fucking damnit.

Blossom was already walking away from him by the time he’d picked the food from his teeth. “I’ll expect my notes back in mint condition before first period tomorrow morning.”

Brick pressed a fist against the lockers and quietly fumed. “Dumbass…”

“Um, sorry, but do you mind…?”

The student who’d been waiting for her locker space to clear up had her palms up as if to assuage a feral stray. Brick pushed off the lockers, but his fist left a dent where he’d unleashed some of his impotent self-pity. He looked back at the girl, and she shook her head.

“It’s fine! It, uh, it happens sometimes.” She pointed a couple lockers down to Blossom’s, which was dinged up worse than the others.

Brick stared at Blossom’s locker, and then back at the girl. Her narrow, dark eyes were wide, but not out of fear. She was waiting for something, and like an idiot it took him a moment to catch up. “You’re trying to make me feel better about fucking up your locker.”

She laughed nervously. “I mean, it’s really fine! You just looked so miserable for a second there, and I just thought…”

Great, he was moping so hard he had an audience.

The five minute warning bell rang, and a flood of students rushed past them on their way to fourth period. Brick stepped aside so the girl could get to her locker.

“Hey, you’re the new guy, right?”

The new guy, yeah. How quaint. Except, she was waiting for a response, which wasn’t the absolute worst thing that had happened to him all week.

“Brick,” he said. But of course, she already knew that, and she was just being nice.

“I’m Kim. Kim Chan.”

“Okay.” He didn’t have anything else to say to her, so he decided to get his shit and get to his next class.

“Welcome back to Townsville, Brick.”

Brick shoved his hands in his pockets and stalked off. It didn’t occur to him until later that Kim was the first and only person who had properly welcomed him back home.

#powerpuff girls #powerpuff girls fanfic #blossick #ppg reds #ppg blossom #ppg brick #september fic prompts #weird king au #i have no idea what i will call this yet #but it'll make its way to AO3 and it'll be a Thing #i have to think of themes and shit now #i came here to shit post and here we are with another full on Reds fic

[bungou-stray-haikyuu]

I Finally Read BEAST - Here Are Some Thoughts

...pretty much entirely on Dazai. I got carried away.

I just finished reading BEAST (can’t believe I put off reading it this long) and I very much enjoyed it. It was great to get a different perspective on Atsushi and Akutagawa and what would happen if their roles were reversed. It was also interesting to gain an insight into Dazai’s mind - as he was the only one who knew about his life in the original world - and his, I think, more genuine self.

Writing Dazai on a superficial level has become quite easy for me. He’s sadistic, he’s an asshole, he’s a suicide enthusiast, he fools around, he’s always a few steps ahead. I can write Dazai. But I can’t write Osamu. I think that’s the best way to say it... When would he be genuine? At what point would he be outmatched? When is it correct to write legitimate surprise? These are all things I’m unsure of because Dazai is layers upon layers of lies and hidden secrets. I certainly can’t read past them, all I know is what Asagiri shows me. However, I think we saw a glimpse of Osamu in the bar in BEAST and that was flagged in my head as something I needed to take note of for writing purposes.

Dazai and the Dark Era is the only light novel I haven’t read as it’s near-impossible to get hold of a physical translated copy for some reason. I've seen the anime adapation of course, but reading descriptions is sometimes more telling than seeing those expressions on an animated - or still-drawn - face. I’d very much like to read it now that I’ve read BEAST and compare Dazai’s interactions with Oda in the two novels. Is he more genuine in BEAST as he’s saying goodbye? Or are there things he doesn’t say because Oda doesn’t know him?

Writing Blood is forcing me to think a lot more deeply about how Dazai acts and reacts to things. I’ve already displayed frustration and a sense of being trapped but how far is it realistic for that to go? Is it even realistic to create a scenario that he can’t escape? He cared about Odasaku, that much is certain, but does he really care about anyone else? Is anyone at the ADA truly his friend? If he chooses to protect them, does he do it because he cares? Or because he believes that it’s the ‘good’ thing to do? The ‘Odasaku’ thing to do. Or would it only ever be because saving them is the strategic thing to do?

I don’t actually know how much Dazai has changed since he left the mafia. He still hides behind walls of lies and he still manipulates people like it’s nothing. Was saving Atsushi a genuine act of kindness on his part? Or was it a fundamentally meaningless gesture meant to help him convince himself that he was following Odasaku’s last request?

Perhaps I’m just untrusting of Dazai. Perhaps I’m not giving him the credit he deserves. But I can’t help but wonder if anything he does is genuine. When he consoles Atsushi after the Director died; when he praises Akutagawa after taking down the Guild; are either of those genuine on his part? Or is everything he says part of one huge plan?

In BEAST he explicitely states that everything was set up by his design...so who’s to say it’s not the same in the original world too? Dazai is Atsushi’s saviour...but is Atsushi someone Dazai cares about beyond ‘the next Double Black’ or ‘the vessel for an ability he must ensure is used in a certain way’? How much did Dazai know when he found Atsushi? Would he have taken him in if he wasn’t an ability user? How does his knowledge of The Book play into this? We know Atsushi is key to finding it - is Dazai nurturing Atsushi (and by extension Akutagawa as well?) specifically with The Book in mind?

There’s so much that’s unknown about Dazai that it’s incredibly difficult to come to definitive conclusions on why he does things. Kudos to Asagiri for doing such an amazing job at keeping Dazai’s true feelings and intentions hidden, but it sure does make it difficult to write Osamu when I want to push Dazai out of his comfort zone.

Perhaps Dazai and the Dark Era will shine a little more light on Dazai’s true self, but I’m not hopeful it’ll be much help when I’m writing my fic. I suppose I’ll have to make a decision, whether it be right or wrong, and stick with it. Perhaps it could even be something I explore (I mean, this entire fic is exploring a ‘what if?’ anyways...kinda like BEAST...) but too little decisiveness would probably make the story inconsistent so there’s a limit I’ll have to adhere to.

Anyways, I’d actually be very interested to hear other peoples’ opinions on Dazai. I’m, er, not the best at interpreting people...so maybe someone has picked up on some things that I’ve missed. Otherwise I guess I’ll just have to do some more thinking on how I think Dazai will react when shit hits the fan in my fic.

#Thoughts'n'Theories #bungou stray dogs #bsd #Dazai Osamu

[ey8508]

Rumors and Secrets: Victor | 李泽言

Note:

R&S for this card (CG above)

Chapter SPOILERS up to Season 2: Chapter 18-21 (read at your own risk)

Contains 5 chapters

Translation isn’t 100% accurate (or include grammar errors)

Every part for LZ’s dialogue would be in “this setting”

Do not repost to any other site (reblog is fine)

Chapter 1 Page 1 It's no exaggeration to say that the name "Li Zeyan" has run through my entire high school era.  This "evil fate" probably starts with a 31-point Chinese test paper. I'm Gao Qishan, only 17 years old at that time, but there are so many things that usually interest me. Games, animations, and football are nothing compared than reading a book in a room. But hey, it's a pity that my dad doesn't think so. "I only scored 31 points in the Chinese test, and I'm still here with a hippie smile!" In the study, the old man blew his beard, looking disappointed, "How can my son be so useless!" Page 2 "Your son is very capable. I was the MVP of the basketball game last night!" "Your PPP is useless! You are in the second year of high school, not the second grade of elementary school! You have a 31-point score and you have a face to play basketball? You don't have any shame or a competitive spirit. Do you not want to go to college anymore?!"  . I was about to reply impatiently, the old man took out a magazine from somewhere, poked his hand at the cover and yelled at me: "Look at the person. He founded the company at the age of 20. In just two years, he has been on the "Business Rising Stars" cover interview! Look at yourself again, someone who is almost 17 years old and does not have the realization of it, do you want to be in the worst generation in the future, ah?!" Page 3 I'm not happy to hear this: "What's so great about starting a company? Your son, I will start a company in minutes!” "I'm almost out of school, and I started my own company? Oh, I'm going to be better!" The old man raised his head, and the thick magazine almost hit my handsome face.  "Learn from others, and don't give me daydreaming here!" Page 4 I grabbed this "Business Rising Stars" with enthusiasm. A decent young man in a suit was looking ahead through the photo. On the cover was a striking headline: "Li Zeyan, an astounding leader in Lianyu City.” "This title is exaggerated!" Even if I was taught by Lao Gao, I was inexplicably better compared with this Li Zeyan, and I just threw the magazine under the sofa. Who wants to learn from him? Just looking at it is a tarnish to my ability! Page 5 But somehow, at night I tossed and turned and I couldn't fall asleep! The more I closed my eyes, the more uncomfortable I was, what did Li Zeyan do. When I turned over for the 100th time, I suddenly sat up. It was a task by old Gao to read the magazine anyway, so I decided to retrieve the magazine and just take a look. After sneaking into the study room, it took me a long time to find the magazine in the innermost part of the sofa. Page 6 "... Although Li Zeyan is only 22 years old, he is already the president of Huarui, an emerging medium-sized company in Lianyu City.  Starting from scratch, he started from a small office to now has hundreds of people. Every step he walks is particularly solid and decisive. Li Zeyan’s way of business is beyond ordinary. He is like a lion, born with a King's aura." All these compliments just for this, isn't it just descriptions of someone starting their own company? I just haven't paid much attention to reading.  Just relying on my ingenuity, and getting a high score on the tests, it is absolutely nothing when it comes to starting a company. Hmph, just you wait. Chapter 2 Page 1 The university in City A is not only one of the top five in the province, but also the top five in the country. It is a university that I, Gao Qishan was admitted to dignifiedly! How about that, I said I'm absolutely fine. In a blink of an eye, the freshman year has passed. In the past two years, I have also paid a little attention to Huarui. The development has been okay, it has not closed down, and the scale has doubled.  It's just normal development. Is it worth the old Gao's praise from time to time?  Every time he flipped through a financial magazine and sighed, "You are so young, so good", it sounds a bit too much. Page 2 As the saying goes, "Seeing is believing", I think this sentence is right.  Taking advantage of the summer vacation, I decided to apply for Huarui's summer internship to see in person how the company is, just not to waste my talents and financial knowledge. Soon I entered the building, but how can the interviewer in the middle feel a bit familiar, the more I look at it, the more I recognize... Wait, isn't it exactly Li Zeyan?! What's happening, is Huarui going bankrupt? Why is the president personally do the interviewing for the summer interns? Page 3 "Manager Chen has something to do, I happen to be free." Probably my shock expression was too obvious. Li Zeyan flipped through the information at hand and looked up at me blankly.  "Gao Qishan? First, briefly introduce yourself." I don't know what's going on. I was so startled by Li Zeyan that I couldn't help but straighten up.  After swallowing my throat, I mobilized all my attention, took a deep breath and said, "Hello, my name is Gao Qishan, and I am a freshman in the Department of Economics and Management of the University of City A..." Page 4 After introducing himself, Li Zeyan asked a few more related professional questions. This kind of small question is nothing to me. It seems that Huarui’s interview is nothing more than that. He occasionally knocked his fingers on the table subconsciously, and asked with a deep gaze: "Why do you want to come to Huarui for an internship?" The continuous response made me more and more relaxed. I changed my sitting position and quickly thought about how to deal with this new question. Judging from previous information, Li Zeyan is a person who likes to win at everything. He should appreciate the kind of answers that seem extraordinarily confident, right? Page 5 After carefully thinking about this, I straightened my back and raised my chin and said: Although Huarui is quite a new company, it has grown at an amazing speed, and the achievements it has made so far are obvious to all in the industry.  And although I am a freshman student, I think I have a very strong learning ability. In this regard, I have a lot of similarities with Huarui. Therefore, I think Huarui is very suitable for me and will definitely make me grow faster. Of course, I can definitely give back the same freshness and vitality for Huarui. With a confident smile, I finished my speech and waited quietly for Li Zeyan's nod. But to my surprise, a few seconds later I was greeted by a frown from Li Zeyan. Page 6 "It seems that you have confidence in yourself. To be a man and to do things really requires self-confidence, but everything must be controlled." Li Zeyan stared at me and said in a hurry, "Only by maintaining reflection and introspection can we truly make progress." I understood his words, and my face flushed. A few days later, I really received a notice from HR (Human Resources) and I didn't get hired. Page 7 Although I had a foreseeable result from Li Zeyan's remarks, when I really received a reply and recalled the interview scene, I was still very angry. After my sophomore year, I went back to the final exams and tried to fight for the first place. I'll make sure that my ambitions are not just mere words. I have written down the "new hatred and old hatred" on my notes. I will definitely use the shortest time to create my own territory, leaving Huarui far behind! Chapter 3 Page 1 Today is the first day of my "Yuanshan Group" moving to a new building.  Morning light came in from the spacious floor-to-ceiling windows, and I stood by the desk, proudly holding on to the brand-new office chair. In the next semester of the junior year, I used the dividends I participated in the project as the start-up capital, and I didn't need a penny higher than the old one, so my "distant mountain" just rose from the ground.  Isn’t it just 20-year-old to start a company from scratch? What's the difficulty?  When I founded Yuanshan, I was exactly 21, and the rounding is almost the same as Li Zeyan.  Because of this, my old man, Lao Gao stopped training me long ago, and I guess he must have praised me secretly. Page 2 In just a few years, Yuanshan has grown from a small company of eight people to a scale that now occupies a seven-story high-end office building, and the suffix has also changed from "company" to the word "group".  To be honest, my founder is very satisfied with Yuanshan's growth.  Although there is still a certain distance from Huarui, after all, they are also developing along the way, but it doesn't matter, I am still young, and sooner or later I can catch up. It didn't take long before the opportunity to "catch up" came. Page 3 I was originally interested in the land to the north of Lianyu City. When I heard that Huarui was also planning to bid on that land, I became more interested.  The Lianyu Municipal Government intends to develop the somewhat hindered northern side. At present, construction has begun to build a crossing bridge and a shopping mall, and this piece of land is nearby. "It is more than enough to build a six-star resort with 18,000 square meters and the supporting facilities can be added. Maybe Huarui made the same idea." I have paid attention to the recent developments of Huarui and have invested in four resort hotels one after another. The senior management of the company also agreed that the land is worthwhile, and if it can be won within the highest valuation of 89 million yuan, it should make a profit without losing it. Page 4 A month later, I came to the auction site with confidence.  Sitting in front of me at ten o'clock is Li Zeyan, the president of Huarui in a suit and leather shoes. After a few years of absence, I can finally compete with him. On the stage, the auctioneer gave an impassioned introduction to the land, and then said in a melodious tone: "The starting price is 35 million, and the auction will begin now!" As soon as the voice fell, several companies immediately raised their signs. But my opponent is Huarui. It is still early, so I have to wait for Huarui to make a move. Page 5 When the bidding became increasingly fierce, Li Zeyan finally raised his placard for the first time: "60 million." The opponent finally appeared, and I immediately raised the number plate: "61 million." As if he was just encountering an ordinary bidder, Li Zeyan never answered with words, but raised his placard again: "70 million." I continued to chase: "71 million!" Side to the front, Li Zeyan seemed to raise his eyebrows slightly. After a few seconds, he raised the number plate again, and said: "80 million." Page 6 "81 million!" As if finally realizing my bite, Li Zeyan glanced at me slightly sideways, then he raised the number plate, the noise was low and clear: "90 million." This figure has already exceeded the company's highest valuation, and the assistant quietly tugged on my sleeve, beckoning me to forget it. But if I really give up on this, I still feel no sigh of relief in my heart. The auctioneer has already shouted in front: "90 million twice." Page 7 "100 million!" My voice came out, at the last moment. Of course, Li Zeyan finally gave me a straight look. I watched his hand nervously, and saw that the number plate was never raised again, and the auctioneer had already shouted excitedly: "One hundred million! Yuanshan Group has come out of one hundred million! One hundred million once! Three hundred million!, make a deal!" Page 8 Finally got it!  Such a valuable piece of land I believe it will be a great help to Yuanshan, and it’s just around the corner to get rid of Huarui. I didn't even consider the cost of 100 million yuan. I just felt that my body was comfortable and exuberant, and the bright prospects were beckoning me. When Li Zeyan passed by me, my triumphant pride couldn't stop. "Thanks to Mr. Li for the bidding this time." Page 9 Li Zeyan put his suit jacket on one hand, and passed by me. I thought he would argue with me back, but Li Zeyan just raised his eyebrows uninterested, and then strode away without looking back. Okay, as the winner of the auction, I allow the loser to occasionally gaffe. Just when I was gearing up to do a big job, the Finance Department urgently sent a bad report. Due to my "passionate bidding", Yuanshan's capital chain suddenly had a problem. Chapter 4 Page 1 I urgently convened a high-level meeting, and after several discussions, the best solution at present turned out to be to invest in Huarui! Personally speaking, I have a hundred reluctances in my heart.  Not long before the auction, I took the initiative to bow to Hua Rui. Didn't that slap me in the face severely. However, the cruel reality lies in front of us. Yuanshan is not only my own person, but also the collective effort of hundreds of employees.  To let Yuanshan survive this crisis steadily, I can only and must "take the initiative to surrender" to Huarui. Forget it, "vote" just "vote"!  Although it was a mistake in my decision-making this time, Yuanshan's development prospects are so good that Li Zeyan should never not invest as long as his eyes are correct. Page 2 However, the negotiation process is still more difficult than I expected. It is not that Huarui has no intention to invest, but almost all the conditions listed are on the lowest line of the distant mountains. "If I remember correctly, the creditworthiness of Huarui's previous investment in the gaze lock company is not very high." I fought hard against the low pressure, and Yuanshan's creditworthiness has always been in the top four in the industry. "...with Yuanshan's creditworthiness Huarui's right to speak will definitely be improved. I think Mr. Li can think about it again." Page 3 "Do you think you are still eligible to negotiate terms with me?" Li Zeyan straightened his mouth, exuding deterrence, "...Huarui Investment in Yuanshan is not for charity, and has no obligation to pay for your suicidal behavior." He raised his hand and glanced at his watch, with a hint of impatience on his face: "Think carefully about it yourself." The long negotiation was finally over. Although Yuanshan and Huarui finally reached a cooperation intention, the whole process failed me. I thought I was about to be on the same line of competition with Li Zeyan, but I was beaten back to the former "interviewer" again. Page 4 By the area downstairs in Huarui, I was smoking a stuffy cigarette, and suddenly there was a faint sound of footsteps behind me. It turned out to be Li Zeyan. Although he was still expressionless, the murderous aura and arrogance from the negotiations seemed to have diminished. Li Zeyan steadily walked to my side: "Gao Qishan, I remember you once came to interview for a summer internship." I didn't expect Li Zeyan to take the initiative to speak. I was surprised. He said: "Several years have passed, and it seems that self-confidence is increasing." If it wasn't for my lose, I stood up slightly: “Although I made a mistake this time, as far as the strength of Yuanshan is concerned, I have the capital to be confident." Page 5 "Yuanshan's strength is indeed pretty good, but don't rush to eat the cakes that you can't eat for the time being. Being high is far from a long-term plan for enterprise development." Li Zeyan said lightly, and took out a card from his pocket and handed it to me, "There will be a practical business forum in Lianyu City next week. You can come and listen when you have time." A practical business forum? What do you mean, is he mocking me for being too pragmatic? The inexplicable enthusiasm and self-esteem suddenly appeared, and I blurted out: "Mr. Li, even if Yuanshan is really not as good as Huarui now, there is no need to humiliate people like this, right?" Page 6 Li Zeyan frowned: "What are you talking about?" He paused, his eyes sinking, "I thought you would be an opponent you could look forward to, but I didn't expect the vision to be just like that." Without additional explanation, Li Zeyan turned and walked away after speaking. I was stunned, looking at Li Zeyan's steadily leaving behind, I couldn't help but relive the conversation just now in my mind. Could it be that Li Zeyan meant that because he regarded me as a potential opponent and hoped that this opponent could become stronger and more competitive, did he propose to let me participate in the business forum? Page 7 That's right, it seems that only such an explanation can make sense! Thinking of this, I couldn't help blowing a whistle. After all, it was an "imaginary enemy" and pursuit of goals since the age of 17, which can be affirmed and recognized by Li Zeyan. It is simply an easter egg that comes with the negotiation, and it is worthy of the old man to praise me ten times. I was being silly and happy. Suddenly my fingers hurt, I have forgotten about my cigarette that was about to burn my fingers! Chapter 5 Page 1 With Huarui's capital injection, Yuanshan passed the crisis steadily. After more than half a year, the foundation of the resort has gradually taken shape. Just when everything seemed to be going in a good direction, early this morning, the news of "the crash of the president of Huarui" directly bombed all major platforms.  Reminiscent of the so-called "homicide list" that was suddenly leaked on the internet a few days ago, I inexplicably feel that these two things may have some connection. Who on earth wants Huarui to sink in the water? Wait a minute, which company announced the list. Could it be that their person in charge is secretly playing tricks? Page 2 Before I could find anything out of my investigation, within a few days, the news of "Which company claims that Huarui has maliciously acquired a large number of pharmaceutical companies" once again detonated all platforms! "Deliberately monopolizing the pharmaceutical market will inevitably cause the price of medicines to rise, which is obvious." "Just for profit, this behavior is very bad!" "Even Huarui's own workers and can't stand it, which shows how terrible Li Zeyan's actions are!" Page 3 Opinions on the Internet are divergent, and public grievances are boiling, and they all accuse Huarui. But I don’t believe it. Although I have only met Li Zeyan several times in person, for so many years, because I have always regarded him as an opponent and target, I have studied Huarui and Li Zeyan’s behavior more than anyone else. The nonsense on the Internet, I don't believe a word! I browsed the web quickly, staring at the almost identical title and searched viciously. Page 4 "Huarui’s reputation plummeted, Li Zeyan fell into a situation where everyone was clamoring and angry, and the heads of the company was clearly cut off from him." In the video, the host's voice kept ringing into my ears. All the signs made me firmer in my previous thoughts: It must be looking at which company is crossing the river to demolish the bridge! I immediately called the assistant to the inside line: "How much do you hire me for a large number of naval forces? How many can you hire? How many! That's right, I have to spare no effort to clarify for Huarui, and by the way, I will focus on the company. Going right now!" I know that this "bad strategy" and only a small help but I haven't beaten Li Zeyan righteously, how could Huarui have an accident in such a situation! What I want is not the taste of winning without a fight. Page 5 Probably because of anger, I couldn't help but send a message to Li Zeyan: The outside world said that Huarui's energy is exhausted. You will not be reduced to the point where you still need to borrow money from me, right?" This message was sent, and I did not expect Li Zeyan to reply to me. However, when it was almost midnight, I suddenly received an email from Huarui. ‘Huarui has always been a responsible company, and will do what it says without fear of any storms. Now everything is running normally, you don't need to worry about it.’ Signer: Li Zeyan. Page 6 Looking at this email, I couldn't help but smile in the middle of the night. Also, Huarui has always been fighting steadily, and Li Zeyan has never fought unprepared battles. Maybe he is playing a big move. Otherwise, how can I say that he is my respectable and close opponent! As for my secret match with Li Zeyan. Give me another three or four years to see who wins and who loses.

#rumors and secrets Victor #mr love queens choice #mr love queens choice victor #love and producer #love and producer li zeyan #mr love victor

[sineala]

Captain America: The Great Gold Steal

I wrote this up last week because I did not have access to my usual comics files but I figured I could review something that was just a book. So here is a review of the 1968 Captain America novel Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White, with an introduction by Stan Lee. I really liked it, actually! It was surprisingly good!

This novel features: Cover art of Captain America holding his shield in one hand and a very large gun in the other! A scene where the villains dramatically unmask Captain America and have absolutely no idea who he is! Captain America being extremely, extremely depressed about being in the future! Captain America dropping acid!

(I'm not kidding about the last part. In this novel there is a lot of LSD use. By Captain America. Talk about something the Comics Code wouldn't ever let you put in a comic book. Thank you, 1968.)

Faithful readers may remember that some time ago I posted reviews of Marvel prose novels from the 1970s. There was a line of prose novels featuring everyone's favorite Marvel superheroes, published by Pocket Books in the late 70s; I have reviews of the Iron Man, Captain America, and Avengers entries in the series; I liked the Iron Man one best, and I also have a Doctor Strange one I have not yet read. They're all short and action-packed paperback reads, of varying quality; the only one by anyone you might have heard of is the Avengers one, which was written by David Michelinie, who was actually writing the Avengers run at the time. That one was, um. An experience. 

(Yes, it's "prose novel" because otherwise the assumption is "graphic novel.")

Marvel still publishes prose novels now, of course, also of varying quality; some are new plots and some are straight-up novelizations of comics arcs, which I guess is useful if you want to, say, read Civil War and not look at pictures at the same time. I also have a bunch of those that I could probably review if anyone wants. But, anyway, I personally am particularly intrigued by the older Marvel prose novels, both because the stories are all original and not retellings, and also because I often prefer the characterization found in older comics. And the older prose novels of course use the then-current characterization. So reading a Marvel prose novel from 1979 is like getting to read a brand-new comic from 1979, and that's a whole lot of fun for a nerd like me. Also do you know what's not subject to the Comics Code? Prose novels. So things can happen in these that definitely could not happen in comics of the same era.

This brings me to my current prose novel, which is something else entirely. I mean, okay, not really, it's still a Marvel prose novel. But it's not part of the same line. It's actually a lot older.

Bantam Books actually published Marvel prose novels in the late 60s. Yep, a full decade earlier. They published exactly two, so I'm going to go out on a limb here and say that they were probably not bestsellers. The first one, which I do not own and now sort of want to track down, was an Avengers novel in 1967, The Avengers Battle the Earth-Wrecker. And then in 1968 they published the novel I am currently holding in my hands, Captain America: The Great Gold Steal by Ted White.

(I am still not sure why no one involved in titling this book thought of the word "theft.")

Judging by the back copy, it appears to be about Captain America foiling the villains' dastardly plan to steal gold from the Federal Reserve. Oh boy. Fun.

So this book is from 1968. The modern Marvel universe had kicked off just a few short years ago! Captain America was just getting his own solo book after the end of Tales of Suspense! And here's a novel about him, back when certain elements of his characterization were perhaps a little more flexible than they are today, by which I mean that the cover art -- which the internet informs me was painted by Mitchell Hooks -- is a striking full-body portrait of Captain America, head held high, shield in one hand... and a very large gun in the other. Hell, yeah. Not gonna see that in today's Cap comics, are you? It's amazing and I love it.

(Okay, you might see that in Ults. I'm pretty sure I have seen that in Ults, actually. But this is still cool.)

So the cover art is a definite plus, and apparently it's one of the few reasons anyone has ever heard of this novel. The other reason -- and the reason this is more expensive than the later novels, I assume -- is that Stan Lee's name is slapped on the cover, because he wrote an introduction. (I think I paid about $30 for this. The others were definitely under $20.)

All right. Here we go.

The first page is actually a brief summary of Steve's origin story, but not a version I was familiar with. Steve was born July 9, 1917 (yes, I was surprised too), was orphaned at a young age, and was a student at Columbia University (!) before Rebirth, which in this version is a gradual process that is also extremely body-horror. Steel tubing was inserted into the marrows of his bones. He was fed "high-protein compounds." Then they gave him a chemical that "gave him complete control over every nerve, muscle, and cell in his now-magnificent body." Sweet. Where can I get some of that?

The blurb also confirms his control over his own metabolism as well as his healing factor ("wounds would heal in half the normal time"), which is nice, because sometimes I wonder if canon even remembers the healing factor.

(I don't know why Marvel has this kink for filling people's bones with metal, though. It's not actually empty in there, guys! You need your bone marrow! How else do you want people to make new blood cells?)

The book is dedicated to "Jack Kirby and Stan Lee, without whom there would be no Captain America." Hey, Marvel, Joe Simon would like a word with you. I'm just saying.

The Stan Lee introduction is three paragraphs written in Stan Lee's, um, inimitable, distinctive and extremely florid narrative style -- if you've read any of his work, you know what I mean -- and making the point that Captain America is incredible and you will like him. If you are just discovering him for the first time, you will definitely like him. Okay. Thanks. I guess.

Oddly, the writing style here is substantially different than any of the other Marvel prose novels I've read; it doesn't immediately front-load you with exposition and a cast of colorful superheroes. It opens with a sort of James Bond spy-novel feel, running through a series of unnamed villains and bystanders, and a man who wants nothing more than to talk to Captain America but is killed before he can. Steve comes in halfway through the chapter, and he seems to be written for a reader who doesn't necessarily know who he is, and he isn't introduced as Captain America with his shield flying ahead of him to smite evildoers, or anything like that. He's just a tall, handsome blond guy who is reading a bunch of novels and is unsatisfied by all of them because all he can think of is the past. It's definitely an attitude I would expect from Steve in this era -- he is very much a Man Out Of Time here -- but it's also not how I expected the book to introduce him. You wouldn't even know he was Captain America by the end of the opening chapter, which then ends with a digression about the history of NYC subway tunnels. It's like it wants to appeal to someone who has watched a bunch of Man from UNCLE and just wants to read a cool thriller. Which is not at all what I was expecting.

By the beginning of the second chapter, of course, we discover that Steve is Captain America, as he changes into his uniform. The narration refers to him as Rogers when it's in his POV, if anyone is curious. He apparently keeps the cowl off in the mansion, because the cowl annoys him.

It was not so much that he needed to conceal his identity these days, because for all intents and purposes he had no other identity. Steve Rogers was officially dead, and had been for almost twenty years. Captain America *was* his identity. It was only when he donned the tight-fitting blue uniform with its shield chest-emblem, the red snug-fitting leather boots, and the heavy, yet pressure-sensitive red-leather gauntlets, that he began to feel real -- a complete human being.

Steve? Buddy, are you okay there? You're really not okay, are you, huh?

You see what I mean? They're really hitting the early-canon angst. Hard.

(Also it sounds like his uniform is a few sizes too small.)

We then get an expanded version of the backstory from the beginning excerpt. In this version of canon, Steve actually has an older brother, Alan, who is handsome and athletic and basically amazing, and when they are orphaned they are raised by their aunt and uncle. Steve gets TB twice as a kid, nearly dies from it, and when the stock market crashes, ends up separated from his brother and in an orphanage after his uncle loses everything.

(Honestly if I were writing this book, his brother would be the secret villain. Chekhov's Gun!)

Steve has glasses, gets bullied, is a nerd and an honor student, and studies law at Columbia because he wants to help stop fraudulent business practices and also fight organized crime. Legally, I mean. In a manner relating to law. I guess he's sort of like Daredevil. The lawyer part of Daredevil.

And then he joins Rebirth, and this is the part where I had to put the book down for several minutes, because Erskine's secret chemical, the key to making super-soldiers... is LSD.

Oh my God. You should see my face right now. My expression is, I am sure, indescribable. I'm trying not to wake the dog up laughing.

I just. Holy shit. This book is from 1968 in a way I definitely was not expecting. What the fuck, Marvel?

This project was headed by the brilliant biochemist, Dr. Erskine. His work with the endocrine system, and chemical body control, was well beyond that of his contemporaries. Only he, of all his colleagues, had fathomed the secrets of the Swiss Dr. Hoffman's 1938 discovery -- the mind-controlling LSD-25.

Let's just pause here for a few minutes and contemplate this.

I will point out that Albert Hofmann (yes, the book spelled his name wrong) didn't actually discover that LSD was a hallucinogen until 1943 when he accidentally tried it, but I am positive that 1968 here was a time when Some People were convinced LSD was a wonder drug. I'm still laughing. As far as I can tell, legal manufacturing of it stopped in 1965 so I am pretty sure that the author did not just decide to name a drug that had an ostensible legal therapeutic use, because it wouldn't have still had one by '68.

Anyway, in this version of events, Rebirth is a month-long process that involves a lot of vitamins, physical conditioning and training, and, yes, putting metal in his bones like he's the next Wolverine. They're filling his bones with stainless steel rods to make him stronger. That doesn't seem like a great idea to me, but I am also not sure about dropping acid to gain superpowers. Clearly I am not a genius scientist. Also Erskine knows what DNA is, apparently, because he's just that great. Anyway. Other than the metal, those all seem like relatively normal interventions. So far.

Now Steve has become fairly big and strong (and I guess he still has metal in his bones? this concerns me!) but they need to make him superhuman, so, yes, really, it's time to drop acid. Several pages of this book are devoted to describing Steve's acid trip. His acid trip is amazing and he discovers that he has conscious control of his entire body down to the cellular level. He can control the adrenaline in his bloodstream! He can tighten his muscle fibers! And when he's done tripping he still remembers how to do this, if not exactly on a conscious level, but he can still access the abilities. And that is how you make a super-soldier. It's LSD. Remember, kids, drugs are awesome! Do drugs!

Let's maybe take a few more minutes to think about this.

I just. I have no words. How did anyone at Marvel agree to print this?

I think for the most part superhero origin stories tend not to involve real drugs because people are generally aware that drugs they've heard of won't make you into a superhero. I guess this is what it looks like when you invoke the names of real drugs. They probably wanted something that sounded more realistic but somehow I don't think this was the best way to go. (Radiation, of course, will definitely make you into a superhero but I feel like most people have accepted that as one of the conventions of the genre.)

Anyway, after that Erskine gets killed by Nazis, of course, and Steve goes to war, and for some reason this book contains footnotes by Stan Lee himself listing the comics you can read all of this in. Just like the actual comics do!

We are introduced to Bucky, who for some reason is also from the LES in this version, although not anyone Steve knew before the war, and there is of course a description of Bucky's tragic death and Steve's subsequent icing.

They are really, really stressing the Man Out Of Time thing here:

No other man could have survived so fantastic a voyage through time. And no other man could feel so displaced by time.

He was a man twenty years in his own future. By rights, he should be nearly fifty years old -- nearly twice the age of his fellow Avengers. Yet his mind and his body were not yet thirty.

When the Avengers had brought him back to New York with them and insisted that, as an honored hero of the past, he join them, he felt a sort of melancholy homesickness for his own time and world.

We then get a few paragraphs with the usual being sad that he let Bucky down and got him killed, and also that he misses his family, and that Steve Rogers doesn't exist anymore, and that nobody is alive who remembers him, and that war is hell.

Hey, Steve, maybe the drugs you should do are antidepressants. Just a thought.

Also, this book is 118 pages and we're not out of the origin story flashback until page 34. I think there are some pacing issues here.

Actually, I lied, the flashback keeps going, but now we're up to the Avengers finding him, and I have to say that the list of things Steve finds strange about the future is kind of charming when the future is 1968. Men have long hair! Women have shorter skirts! Everyone is kind of blasé about rocket launches because there have been so many space missions now. (Oh, come on, you haven't even landed on the moon yet, 1968! You're not that blasé.) Color TV! And, excitingly, LPs! You can now listen to 36 minutes of consecutive music. (I actually don't know what previous standard he's describing that is a ten-inch record that holds six minutes a side because I don't think 45s are that big. Yeah, no, I just checked and 45s are seven inches in diameter. Hmm. Oh, never mind. He means 78 rpm, doesn't he? In my defense, the record player my family had when I was a kid didn't play those.)

The description of Steve coming into New York for the first time is definitely written by someone who knows New York, which is fun. There is generally a lot of local flavor to the setting of this book. That’s one of the best parts.

There is a brief summary of Steve's feelings about all the Avengers -- he is most impressed by Thor, which, I mean, fair, he's an actual god -- and Hank telling him all about how he can live in Tony's mansion. With Jarvis. Who Hank says is actually from Flatbush. Apparently Steve spent a lot of time at the NYPL branch at 5th and 42nd trying to catch up on history. And then of course the Avengers ditched him and gave him the Kooky Quartet, and for some reason they're not here right now either so it's just Steve being sad and alone and dealing with this mysterious dead guy. I think probably the book is also done explaining fiat currency now. This is definitely the weirdest Marvel novel I've read.

Anyway, we have now returned to what is ostensibly the actual plot. Steve shows up at the New York Federal Reserve Bank (I guess the theft is happening here and not, like, at Fort Knox) with the gold bullion that the dead guy from the beginning of the book had on him -- I think I got distracted by the LSD bit and forgot to mention that part, but the dead guy was carrying some US government gold -- because the actual plot is that villains are trying to tunnel into the bank vault and steal gold. Steve discovers this after he gets the bank manager to give him a tour. The bank manager tries to refuse, citing security concerns -- Captain America could be anyone under that mask, after all! Steve just smiles and says, "If I removed my mask, would you have any better idea of who I am?" and I guess that's a flawless argument because he gets his tour.

(I'm sorry, all I can think of is that one gif from the JLA cartoon where Lex Luthor bodyswaps with the Flash, announces that now that he's in the Flash's body he's going to discover the Flash's secret identity, then pulls off his own mask, stares at himself in the mirror, and says, "I have no idea who this is.")

Given that the theme of Steve's interior life in this novel is "Steve Rogers died twenty years ago" it seems even more sad that Steve is just walking around basically saying, yeah, well, I'm nobody. And apparently that is being reaffirmed for him by the narrative.

So Steve goes down the tunnels, takes out some of the bad guys, and gets himself knocked out and buried in a collapsing tunnel. Don't worry, he's gonna be fine.

A lot of this book, by the way, is from the POV of random people, like this bank guard who went with Steve into the tunnels:

He had wondered, briefly, if a man like Captain America ever knew the pinch of too many bills, had ever felt desperate over the arrival of yet another mouth to feed. But, of course, Captain America had no family, and would hardly concern himself with such matters. It didn't occur to Thompson to wonder if this in itself might not be something for which to pity Captain America.

Rude. I mean, come on, do we really need random characters telling us Steve is a sad sack whom nobody loves? Steve's already got that covered!  (Also, how does this guy know Captain America has no family?)

Anyway, thanks to the power of LSD, Steve is going into a trance, amping up his metabolism (he loses "several pounds" in a few minutes), and making himself super-strong so he can dig himself out. Hooray. This is definitely how human bodies work. Also LSD. This is definitely how LSD works. Yes.

Steve then finds out that a couple of the guards who were with him in the tunnels died down there and he goes home and eats dinner while stewing in miserable guilt because he was responsible for their deaths. He's really not okay. I'm not sure the book actually understands how not okay they have made him. Then someone from SHIELD is on the phone for him and he is briefly cheered up by the thought that it might be Sharon although I think we should also note that the narrative makes it clear that at this point in canon Steve still doesn't know her name. Remember when that was a thing?

Alas, it is not Sharon; it's just a random SHIELD agent who happens to have information about the plot and asks to meet. Then, as Steve leaves to go to the meeting, we get two pages of exhaustive description about the mansion layout and how it's built relative to the surrounding buildings. It feels like this book was written by a frustrated city planner. But anyway, the meeting is a setup and the villains capture Steve.

They knock Steve out, drug him, take him to their hideout, and tie him to a chair. Except, once again thanks to the power of LSD, the tranquilizer they're using wears off way sooner than they expected and so Steve feigns unconsciousness and listens to them discuss their evil plans.

And then the villains unmask him and I swear it's exactly like that JLA gif:

Rogers heard footsteps scuffing across a thick carpet, and then Sparrow's voice again, almost directly over him. His ears still buzzed, but he fought to catch the elusive familiarity of the man's tone. He wished he dared open his eyes.

"This is a moment which I, personally, have long awaited," Sparrow said, his voice rising in triumph. "*The unmasking of Captain America!*"

Then, his nails scraping along Rogers' face, Sparrow dug his fingers under his cowl, and ripped it back. Rogers felt air strike his exposed cheeks and forehead. Then fingers clutched his blond hair and pulled his head back. "Behold!" Sparrow said.

Raven was first to speak. "Well, I dunno about you, Sparrow, but it rings no bells with me. I never seen him before."

Starling agreed. "His face means nothing to me."

"He could be anybody," said Robin. "What good does this do?"

Sparrow let Rogers' head fall back to his chest, and his voice when he spoke was defeated. "I don't know. Nothing, I guess. I always wondered. I felt, if these guys -- these costumed heroes -- wore masks, it must mean something."

"Captain America was missing for twenty years," Starling said. "That could mean the first one died, and this one took his place. He looks awfully young."

"Perhaps. It doesn't really matter. Let's get going."

(Yes, the villains all have bird-themed codenames. I have no idea why.)

This scene just makes my day. I love dramatic unmaskings. I bet they'd have been a lot happier unmasking Iron Man.

The villains then leave Steve and go to a power plant, where we switch POVs to one of the plant employees and get two entirely unnecessary paragraphs about his racist and anti-Semitic thoughts about his coworkers before the villains murder him. Great. Thanks.

Anyway, the villains cause a blackout, while meanwhile they've left Steve alone with the girl villain, and Steve is busy trying to persuade her that crime doesn't pay. He's moved from the "do you know what they'll do to you in prison?" theme onto "how exactly are you going to spend a billion dollars in gold bullion when it's illegal for civilians to possess? who are you going to do business with?" and then points out that gold is heavy and hard to transport, which is when she gets out a a knife.

The bad guys are off to steal the gold, and Steve has now successfully turned the girl they left him with, because she frees him. Of course, the first thing he does is put the cowl back on.

"Why do you wear that?" she asked.

"The mask?" He smiled. "It gives people something external to concentrate upon."

"But..."

"Without it, I'm just another ordinary-looking man. With it, I become a symbol. For some people it creates awe; for others, fear. Look at me. I'm different now, aren't I? With the mask on."

"Yes," she nodded. "You look -- bigger, somehow. Stronger. Fierce, implacable. You look a little scary."

"Exactly. You no longer see me as a person, but as a thing -- an Avenger. It can be a potent psychological weapon."

"They were so disappointed, when they took your mask off. As though underneath they'd find a famous person."

"Maybe that goes on TV -- handsome playboys, and all that. But I've been anonymous all my life. Even my real name would be meaningless to you, to them. No, the mask is part of the uniform, a psychological device. That's the whole story.

Now: let's get out of here. You have a good deal more to tell me yet, and we can't waste more time."

Bwahaha. In a few years, Steve's going to be pretty surprised about who superheroes are, I think.

STEVE, now: Superheroes definitely aren't secretly handsome playboys! That would be silly! STEVE, after Molecule Man: fuck fuck fuck FUCK FUCK I'm such an idiot

I'm definitely looking forward to that.

Also, not that the issue of Steve's psyche actually recurs after this, but he's once again having the narrative vindicate his belief that Steve Rogers is dead and whoever he is under the cowl doesn't matter. Steve, I don't think this is very healthy.

Steve then tracks down the villains stealing the gold, has some geopolitical thoughts about where the gold could be going (he thinks either South Africa or Russia for the best laundering potential) and then hides himself in the villains' trunk while they drive to Staten Island, which is where they're taking the gold out of the country from.

During the final confrontation, Steve finally gets to see the villains, and he discovers that the one in charge is in fact the director of the Federal Reserve Bank who Steve met at the beginning of this book. Gasp. But that's not all! He's also... the Red Skull!

Honestly, I was kind of surprised; I didn't think this was the kind of book where we'd get any known comic villains, but I guess it's always gotta be the Red Skull. I think he's the only one of Steve's big villains who likes to disguise himself; Zemo has obvious disguise issues and I imagine it's also hard to cover up Zola's Teletubby-esque television body.

Steve shoots one of the villains, because I guess that's what he does in this era of canon.

So the plot wraps up in, like, two pages, because for some reason all these early Marvel novels wrap up very fast. Red Skull, of course, attempts to escape and then disappears and his body is never found. The end.

Well.

That was definitely a book. That I read. Believe it or not, I actually think it was the best of these early Marvel prose novels that I've read so far, even if it was also the absolute weirdest; I thought the thriller-style plot was entertaining, I liked Steve and his Extremely Sad characterization, I obviously enjoy all the identity themes, I liked how very detailed the New York setting was, and I do like how they tried to treat it all seriously. I mean, sure, this did lead to LSD in the super-soldier serum in presumably the name of realism, but I felt like the book was trying to present superheroes in a way that didn't feel silly and also didn't really take for granted that the reader would automatically accept superheroes.

It felt like a book that was written hoping that people who weren't superhero fans would read it, if that makes any sense. And I thought that was interesting, because most modern superhero work that I can think of assumes they've got complete audience buy-in and everyone is willing to suspend their disbelief and we all know the genre conventions and are expecting people running around in brightly-colored spandex. Whereas this is more like a James Bond novel if for some reason James Bond were called upon to defend his decision to wear brightly-colored spandex instead of bespoke suits. But I assume no one read it, because Bantam never published a Marvel book after this one.

If you can actually find a copy of this one for a price you're willing to pay. I recommend it. It was delightful and way more solid than I thought it was going to be.

Also, come on, you know you want to read about Captain America's acid trip.

#posts i actually wrote

[so-i-dont-forget-again]

So I Don’t Forget Again: A Breath of The Wild fanfiction

Entry 208: Zora’s Domain

 Sidon made me breakfast. He made things I had taught him to make back at Hateno, he had to wake up very early to get the ingredients on time. He tried to hide it, but I could see he was a little sleepy through the whole day, he’s had such little rest. I really appreciate this, him just focusing on me, almost like there’s nothing else, but I don’t want him to push himself. Though I want to thank him all the same. He just makes me feel so special and safe, in a way unlike anything else, I guess. I feel like he really sees me, like he truly wants me. I don’t know how to describe this, but I want to. I want to pour these feelings into these pages, have him read this so he can know just how much he means to me, how he’s an irreplaceable part of my life, how he

I just want him to know as amazing as he finds me, I find him to be just the same. He’s much more eloquent with words than me, so maybe he’d know how to write this, but I want to at least try, even if this is just kinda incoherent thoughts by now.

We went to market, it’s a bit away from town, but that’s because it’s more of a trading area so Hylians and Gorons and others can get there easier than going through the canyon to the town. We did some shopping but we heard a lot of rumors. A new hero appearing, one who couldn’t be the reincarnated one. A hero who did not wield the blade of evil’s bane but a trident, instead of working in service of the princesses, or royalty, or goddess they worked for the people, a blond gender ambiguous Hylian who slew a massive, fearsome beast all to get ingredients for a medicine for a gerudo woman’s sick husband they didn’t even know, a person who helped the descendants of the champions calm all the Divine Beasts soon after their rampages began, a person who is a brother to the strong gorons, a person who had begun to teach others how to fend for themselves, on and on it went, even false or exaggerated tales. They were all about one simple person who served the people for their sake and nothing else. This person was not grand or flashy, they were only recognized since tridents are an uncommon weapon and even more uncommon for hylians outside of the royal family to be blond, two odd, eye catching characteristics and people made the connections from there. Sidon told me it just seemed fitting that the “Hero of the People” would wish to use all his peoples’ fighting styles, a person who was strong with all their power, their best qualities united.

I guess it is fitting. Before being the chosen hero or whatever felt like a burden, but this time, it felt different, it didn’t feel bad, like there’s this cumbersome weight I just can’t carry. I’m being called a hero for things I have done already, not things I’m expected to do, I think that’s the difference. I think Sidon could tell too. He admitted he was a little nervous about this, but if I did react badly, he wanted to be beside me so he could comfort me and not have me over hear this some other place far away and for my thoughts to go dark again. And we had the whole day to be together so we could do something fun to get my mind off it.

We had a lovely walk back. Bossa Nova kept trying to steal some of the ingredients we ended up running part of the way as he chased us. He even tried nibbling on my hair to get my attention. Sidon tried scolding him, but Bossa Nova didn’t care. After gifting a Hearty Radish he calmed down, but Sidon said I shouldn’t spoil him, that he’ll just take advantage of that and eat through all my non-meat supplies sooner or later. But then he just looked at me for a moment, smiled and shook his head before turning back to the trail ahead. When I asked him what that meant he told me he couldn’t find my behavior endearing and that I need to learn how to say ‘no’ sometimes. I guess he is a prince, he has to make decisions for his people, and he’ll likely have to say ‘no’ sometimes, but how can you say no to a cute hungry capybara! Besides I don’t think he would have stopped trying to knock us over till he was fed so I don’t think it could have been THAT bad. Just a treat. He’s a good boy, he needs the love. Sidon then gasped and said this must be why Bossa Nova likes me more now. It was clear he was play acting, playing up the moment but his reaction did get Bossa Nova to charge at him and knock him into the river for hugs. Much of the fruit started floating down river and it took a while to collect it all.

We cooked lunch together, a fusion between Rito and Zora cuisine. I always love cooking with him, well I just like cooking, but especially with him. Food reflects it’s culture and traditions, cooking is literally making something to help the other keep living and making it enjoyable all the while. I don’t think I need food, not anymore at least, but I can still enjoy it, making it and tasting it with others. Eating and cooking with others feels different than on your own, it only makes sense, food reflects people and so more people would surely make it taste better. All this to say I just really enjoyed lunch. And Bossa Nova still ate his meal so giving him his treat was not spoiling him! He didn’t eat his whole thing though, but that’s not the point! He still ate it… I guess it’s because I don’t get hungry I don’t see the point in having scheduled meals. Sidon said that was not the point, the point being Bossa Nova acting bratty to get whatever he wants. But could it be so bad, all he ever wants is food or extra affection.

Sidon asked if I knew how long I can hold my breath for. Much of his kingdom is underwater and he wanted to show more of it to me. Zoras really are made for the water, even the shape of their heads are kind of like arrows so they can effortlessly pierce through it. I know fish need fins to swim, I wonder how fins help Zora swim. They’re just stunning racing past, or at least Sidon is. Even with my complete zora armor set swimming can be a struggle but for him it’s effortless, he can go in circles and make twists and turns so quickly. Light seems much starker underwater, either bright or dark, I notice his glowy parts much more, I still can’t tell if they’re always glowing or if the glow activates when he’s in shade.

His home underwater looks similarish to land with similar plants, but there are also very different ones I don’t even know where to begin describing them. Some are kind of like flat dishes and others more spindly, then there are others that are wrinkly, I’ve never seen plants like those in the rivers before. There are some like stone, Sidon says they’re called coral and are plants oddly enough. Many of these only grow in the domain, but there are similar ones in the ocean. I wondered if any could be used in cooking, as they are plants zoras have never tried and Sidon was rather keen on assisting me if I tried working with them.

His kingdom underwater is so much larger than on the surface. Sidon and his people could so easily be separated from the rest of the world and be just fine. Their most important places like the throne room are on the surface so others can more easily reach them. That is something he’s always had been so appreciative of his ancestors for doing. His people, they’ve always been distant from the rest of Hyrule whether they lived solely underwater or some place out of reach or hidden away, of all times this current era is likely the closest they have been to others even with being separated by a distant canyon still. He doesn’t like this distance, even if it is better than before. After the champions fell and the hylians had no leader, everyone mostly went their own ways and more of a divide was created between everyone, sure there’s trade and the mail service but other than that, nothing, no alliance promises or at least documents stating they were at peace with one another, there’s nothing except for the few individuals who sought out pay from others, that’s why he finds what I’m doing to be so incredible. This legend I’m making just by being myself, becoming something or someone everyone can connect too or want to strive for. A kind of hero he could only have dreamed of. I told him I can’t do anything like uniting everyone, I’ve just lived with them and gotten to know them, he however, someone who knows how to lead others, someone who can understand and relate to others so easily or through his sheer determination, his hunger to know others better, wanting those connections, he could become someone who could lead and unite hyrule. He told me uniting hyrule again was going to be a monumental task, surely one he could not handle on his own, he’d definitely need someone who’s on good terms with everyone, and more importantly a partner by his side, someone he could lean on during the rough days, someone who could emotionally support him and just be by his side, just someone precious to him to keep close.

How tenderly he held my hands and stroked them with his thumbs, and just that way he looked at me. I don’t know what I was feeling but it was so warm, and soft, and like my chest was fluttering. Just… how he wants me, not just for what I can do, he just wants me. He wants me to be there because he just wants to share his life with me, I just happen to get some additional satisfaction since I know I get to help, but even if I couldn’t I KNOW he’d want me to be there with him and it just…

It means so much to me.

Today was just so nice.

After leading me to my room he collapsed on the bed. I don’t know about him, but I know swimming definitely takes a lot of energy and he was already working with little sleep, at least this way I know for certain he’s getting rest. I hope nobody comes here looking for him. For now, I guess I should get some sleep myself.

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#loz #botw #loz botw #legend of zelda #breath of the wild #legend of zelda breath of the wild #link #wild link #botw link #breath of the wild link #sidlink #link x sidon #sidon x link #fanfic #fanfiction #botw fanfic #botw fanfiction #loz botw fanfiction #loz botw fanfic #breath of the wild fanfic #breath of the wild fanfiction #sidfa #so i don't forget again #soidon'tforgetagain

[my-writings-and-musings]

Rodimus/Reader

My first commission from an awesome person!

Rodimus takes his human SO on a drive to a lovely lookout, where they proceed to have fun with his holomatter avatar.

Very considerable Lemon, Reader uses she/her pronouns and has cis female anatomy.

The soft padding of the faux leather seat beneath you was butter smooth and polished to a sheen one might usually expect from diamonds, and despite the fact that your driver would claim such a look was effortless, you knew a very pricy balm had undoubtedly been used to achieve the effect. Mostly because the faintest hint of beeswax still lingered despite the sweet scent of cinnamon swirling through the interior of your ride. Obviously, the smell was the result of some lavish products as well, but like the polished seats, it would be passed off as natural to the interior if you asked about it. Not that you minded any of the bluster. Quite the opposite, actually, you found the tireless efforts to impress you incredibly endearing.

This was Rodimus, after all.

Looking away from the pristine twilight view outside your window, you subtly turned your head towards the driver’s seat, where an impossibly handsome but mostly normal looking man had a casual hold on the wheel. Any person that beheld him would have had to do a double take, as his entire outfit hardly blended in with the modern era, but in your mind he rocked the 80's look perfectly. But the gravity defying perfection of his auburn hair was, admittedly, a pretty obvious clue to his inhuman nature.

"Admiring the merchandise?" He asks suddenly, catching you off guard without startling you. Despite not needing to "look" at the road to see, he still keeps his head facing forward as he gives you a playful side eye, the depths of his irises showing the tiny refractive glint he taught you to recognize of holomatter avatars. For some reason seeing it while hearing his warm voice sends delightful shudders up your spine.

"I like to appreciate every form you have." You reply carefully, not wanting to let him know just yet how excited you are. Plus, it was true, from his towering robot mode to this properly sized human projection, Rodimus was fine, even his altmode could quicken your pace at a glance. Adjusting casually in the silky-smooth seat, you scanned the dark exterior outside your window for a moment, noting how the ocean had come into constant view as he drove along the forgotten road. Hopefully the destination he'd apparently spent weeks picking out was close, because you were getting rather... eager for what you knew was coming upon arrival.

"I did make a few adjustments, just for you." He said a little unexpectedly, drawing your full attention back to him. Under the cocky tone you recognized the ever present need for approval he carried with him everywhere, and it occurred to you that if he was losing control and letting his insecurities slip through then he must have also been growing impatient to reach the destination. For all his talk, the big bot couldn't stand much in the way of delays when it came to your affection. Knowing he was needing you put a smile on your face as he coughed softly and murmured almost bashfully. "I was hoping you'd like them..."

You couldn't resist; you had to tease him.

"If you're talking about the tattoo, I was waiting for you to let me admire how you masterfully patterned it over those muscles. Ideally with a hands-on on inspection." You said, turning in the chair to look at him directly. It wasn't purely a playful nudge, you did want to lay your hands on the toned arms he'd clearly worked so hard to accentuate with Cybertronian inspired patterns, if only because you adored the strength and warmth beneath your fingers. The fire pattern had been lovely, but this new one was striking, the black ink drawing in your eyes like a wonderful trap. Hm, just thinking about how heated and natural his holomatter was to the touch and squeezing those muscles-

"Oh, definitely!" He countered in a failed attempt to stay smooth, which deteriorated when his voice broke in a needy squeak. Swallowing in a perfectly expressed gesture of helplessness, he moved a hand down to his heavily personalized radio equipment, fumbling over the flame decals before hitting the proper buttons. "We're almost there! Let's uh... Let's put on my mix in the meantime."

A lovingly arranged playlist of soft but passionate hits started pumping through his speakers, and you were delighted enough by the sound that you didn't bother to ask if he'd forgotten he could just turn on his music without using his holomatter avatar. Slow beats thrummed through the air and into your body, enticing you by offering a taste of what was to come as the melody filled you from head to toe. Biting your lip, you prayed he was feeling the same thing, or at least an equal amount of anticipation. Mostly because you were not planning on wasting time.

"Hey, there it is!"

The excitement in his voice was tinged with relief you became too occupied to notice. Like something sculpted just for the two of you, the earth flowed upwards and outwards over the sea in a picturesque lookout beneath the stars, a lovely covering of grass and wildflowers swaying in the ocean breeze as Rodimus eased his way to the flat top. Beaming all the while, he explained himself at a level of ease that belied the build-up he'd been applying to this little trip for the past few weeks. "Found the spot on a planetary scan, along with a bunch of other potential locales. It took the lead once I confirmed the cliff doesn't get much in the way of visitors."

"It's beautiful, Roddy." You said in genuine gratitude, aware that planning something so sweet and quiet and then keeping it secret would challenge his naturally effusive and chatty nature to an exhausting limit.

To think a bot who'd traveled the stars could find such joy in spending time alongside you, to the point he painstakingly arranged these little trips just to show you the depth of his adoration, was enough to make your heart skip a few beats. "Thank you... I know you spent a while on this."

"Anything for you, babe." He said softly, unbuckling the seatbelt he wore entirely for show as his alt mode pulled to a stop on an especially flat expanse of ground, leaving just enough space from the cliffs edge to be secure. Taking off your own seatbelt, one that he insisted you wear for your own safety, you heard his engines settle into a gentle purr. Loving the sound, you briefly recalled the first wonderful night you'd enjoyed one of these escapades. It had been unplanned at the time, and you hadn’t felt even the slightest hint of hesitation on your part, despite knowing that having sex with an alien robot while his physical body was a car might be called "odd" by some. As far as you bothered to care, those people just didn’t know what they were missing. Stretching out on his seat and making quite a show of opening up his lap in the process, Rodimus looked at you with what was likely meant to be suave relaxation, but you heard the eagerness in his voice. "But, I think we both know what we want to happen next, so how about we skip ahead...?"

"Does that pass for flirting on Cybertron?" You teased right back, triggering a blush in the holomatter's cheeks. Some very unorthodox upgrades had made the program capable of replicating every physical action or reaction one could draw from the bot, and in moments like these you wanted to thank some higher power for the incredible delight that had given you so far, as well as all the ways it would undoubtedly benefit you in the near future.

Recovering by pretending to adjust his sweatband, he was quick to fire back a line with his almost trademark cocky tone.

"Well... There aren't too many incredibly attractive humans on Cybertron, so I don't think it matters too much." He bantered smoothly, unaware of how precious his finger guns made him look in the process. In fairness, they absolutely were having the desired effect, as you wanted more than ever to pounce him. Watching as his internal biolights grew brighter to advertise his increasing excitement, you planned your move accordingly, knowing from experience how easy it was to crawl over into the driver's seat. You let him give one final quip to provide you with the perfect setup. "However, on the Lost Light and Earth, it's been working out pretty well so far."

Not able to imagine a more perfect leading line, you left your seat in one solid and unerring movement to plop yourself gently but eagerly into his lap, loving how the interior warmed around you in response before you had even finished moving. Engines hiccupping, he looked at you the same way one might watch a natural wonder unfold as you secured yourself by straddling him. "You would know, Captain."

Smoothness lost its status as an imperative to him in that instant.

Helpless adoration and lust filled his eyes almost to overflowing as he slipped a hand behind your head, insistent and needy but never anything less than gentle while his fingers looped under your hair. The scent of cinnamon moved through the air in sweetly smelling swirls as you let your body press against his, the warmth of his holomatter not quite comparable to an organic form but wonderful all the same because it was him.

Though you'd yet to tell him, the way his altmode came alive around you both as he grew more aroused thrilled you in ways that were impossible to explain. It was like you could feel him on every level, more than just the physical delight of skin on skin, and that feeling came into marvelous actuality as soon as your lips met his. A helpless sound of need from him coincided with a tremor through the seat below. Despite how he always wanted attention, you knew straight away he was especially craving it tonight by the fervent kiss he returned against your lips, followed by his cautious hands sliding up your sides. Without words he was trying to convey a request to get undressed.

"You look hot, how about we take off that vest?" You said in act of mercy, not at all opposed to getting naked as soon as possible. Rodimus had, after all, painstakingly designed the body of his avatar to express his favorite physical features in human form. To say he'd done a fantastic job would be an understatement. Easily slipping the loose orange garment off his broad shoulders, you had to smile at the multiple shirts still awaiting their turn, all three of them looking far more out of place without the vest to tie them together. You tugged on the collar of the outermost as you made your request indirectly. "Along with some of the other layers?"

"Yes, please..." He replied softly, sounding out of breath despite not needing to breathe.

The limited space of his altmode's interior was no match for the two of you working in sync, and if anything you could swear he seemed to move around you to aid the process, but that might have just been the result of his delighted frame humming in encouragement. By the time you got to his Autobrand bearing T shirt he was getting visibly flustered, his big expressive eyes looking into yours with an ocean of mixed emotions. There was want, adoration, longing, and a touch of disbelief, but also the deeply buried worry that what he had wasn't enough. As always, you got to reassurance straight away. Removing his last shirt to reveal a panting chest rippling with every breath was the first step.

Your next move was to kiss your way down his toned stomach, slipping beneath the steering wheel so you could park yourself between his spread legs. Quick as ever, the hint of a bulge in his pants became a tent of need in response to your proximity. No amount of self control could stop you from biting your lip at his flattering enthusiasm.

"How about I start by thanking you for this date?" You said in your best shot at a throaty purr. Admittedly it was hard to focus on being sexy when you were beholding such a banquet of handsome and helpless allure.

A sigh that trembled out into a whimper passed his lips as he gathered the strength to nod, spreading his legs as the fabric over his crotch stretched to make room for his growing arousal. Had you not already known the outfit was also holomatter you never would have been able to guess. Just watching how naturally it cupped his sizable package was making your head get fuzzy... Hearing the clink of a belt buckle helped you focus, especially when you discovered it was your own hands undressing him, the heat from this part of his body delighting your fingers as they worked not to stumble. As eager as you were down low, poor Rodimus was desperate.

Shaky breaths became increasingly more perceptible moans at every exhale, a phenomenon you noticed was harmonized to rhythmic trembles in the vehicle around you. Despite his will being concentrated in the holomatter, the pleasure he was experiencing must have been affecting his altmode. Such a loss of control was exactly your goal as his pants finally slid down his legs. Simple boxers of dark coloration remained your only barrier, the synthesized elastic bearing a tiny Autobrand that was warped by the jutting erection presented for your indulgence. Unable to delay for the sake of buildup any longer, you hooked your fingers into the stretchy fabric and pulled smoothly but quickly, revealing an eager erection that swung up to greet you.

"Oh God..." He whispered in overwhelmed ecstasy, covering his mouth beneath a hand. His own altmode overrode the attempt to stay quiet, rumbling with primal delight that all but begged you to keep going, a request you had no desire to delay fulfilling.

Hot and smooth while simultaneously soft yet firm, he was a none too easy fit in your mouth despite how badly the two of you wanted it to happen, but you were absolutely fine with a bit of a challenge. He had personally designed this part of himself as well, the goal of which was being just big enough to provide some extra fun without running the risk of hurting you. Humming to give him a little more stimulation, you secured your fingers around the base and started to search for a rhythm, brain buzzing from the simple thrill of intimacy on this level. A shaking hand cupped your head gently, hesitating so as not to throw you off or come across as trying to control your movements. Hesitancy in how he played with your hair was somehow adorable. You read his every move as you continued to bob your head, sucking on his throbbing girth in the way that drove him the most wild; slow yet passionate. This bot had done so much for you, and you wanted to return the favor, putting your all into every suck to show him how dearly you desired him back...

"W-wait..."

The full extent of him that you could fit in your mouth came out with a wet plop, surprising you almost as much as his tender request for you to stop. Rodimus never wanted to pull back once things got going.

"Is something wrong?" You asked while wiping your lips, looking upwards from his still throbbing erection to the flushed expanse of his chest and similarly heated face. There wasn’t a trace of anything in his expression but want, yet he was careful as he tugged you back up into his lap, letting you settle your own clothed crotch against his exposed eagerness. For a second the contact made his mind go visibly blank, with all traces of thought disappearing from his eyes at the unmatched desire you stirred in his spark. Sheer willpower enabled him to recover and speak seconds later.

"I need you. I... and I won't last long if you stay down there..." He explained through his panting, holomatter looking as if he'd just run a marathon.

"I don't mind." You replied, grinding your hips forward to let his hot and unsatisfied erection rub against you. Plenty wet beneath your own clothes, you knew that Rodimus would never allow only himself to be gratified, so you were fine finishing him off first. Watching that beautiful face disappear between your thighs afterwards would be well worth the wait.

Clearly he was tempted too, never having been the type to hold off on pleasure in the present regardless of how much it would earn him later, but you could see a rare patience in his whole demeanor as he looked back to you. Even his altmode hummed a little more calmly around you, as if to show his commitment. This mech wanted tonight to be special. "If it's okay, I... I'd rather have all of you."

That was more than okay for you. To show just how fine you were with the proposal, you looped your arms around his neck and went in for another kiss, feeling the heat and gentle tingling of his holomatter against you. When you had to pause for air, a playful whisper made your answer quite clear.

"Well, you are the Captain."

A soft moan of open ecstasy was his first reply. What had started as a tease had evolved into a kind of kryptonite for him, to the point that even hearing you whisper his title got his engines revving. Hitting him with it now resulted in a throbbing erection pressing more insistently against your pants, and while you loved the helpless arousal on display, the tone of his voice was also a fantastic prize. "You know what happens when you call me that!"

"Care to remind me?" You whispered in devious torture, growing foggy with lust of your own that would soon make such teasing impossible. All around you he began to hum in eager arousal once more, his vents blowing hard to keep the air cool in his interior. Catching the smell of cinnamon again, you let him dangle in the wind only a moment longer, feeling his grip on your shirt tighten as he gasped out some quiet pleading.

"Please, help me-"

"I'll show you how this is done again, if that's what you mean." Trying to play it cool only for one more tease, you grabbed the bottom of your shirt, having undressed yourself for him many times in the past. Whether or not he was being honest about not understanding clothes hardly mattered to you as you pulled on your top and lifted it over your head, revealing the bare expense of your body save for a bra. As the clothing was haphazardly tossed aside you found his eyes locked on nothing but you, as if by merely becoming undressed you were beyond anything he ever could have imagined, and that level of adoration threw you for a loop. Muscling back into control, you went for the clasp of your bra next. Feeling his gaze on you made your voice tantalizingly soft. "See? Now this..."

A front facing clasp came undone easy, but removing the now open underwear wasn't at all mundane to your audience, regardless of how many times he'd seen what was beneath. Bare breasts came into view and your bra joined your shirt in the passenger seat, where his holomatter clothes had been set before fading away now that he wasn't focused on them. Actually Rodimus only looked to be capable of focusing on one solid thing.

You.

"You're my... my everything." He whispered with overwhelmed adoration, far too proud to care about sounding corny while he beheld the perfection of your body. All of your ability to play it cool evaporated at the pure love in his eyes.

"I love you too, Roddy." You said back without any kind of playful intent. The hands keeping you supported on his lap slid over the wealth of bare skin now open to him, but his touch felt like he was worshiping you, his grip tight only for the sake of ensuring you were real. Every curve brought his intoxication to new levels.

"I love you and I need you." He whispered into a kiss on your collar, hugging you tight so that his soft hair brushed your cheek. The ever present electric energy tickled your nose as you breathed in his scent, and while you'd heard holomatter avatars didn't smell like anything, you could swear you caught the faintest hint of the frilly brand of fruit scented polish he used in those perfect auburn locks. A tiny but very happy sound of awe preceded another whisper against your exposed neck. "Please, I... Oh man, do you know what you do to me?"

"I know what I want you to do to me."

The reply was even more lusty than intended. Perhaps dropping your hands to your still present pants was the cause of that, but the effect it had on him was far too lovely for you to care. Strong hands took hold of your behind as the radio amped up its volume, bringing the bumping bass of an 80s mix out to thump in your chest alongside your love-struck heart. Pants and underwear began to descend your thighs in a single motion as he uttered one final phrase.

"Let's do it then..."

Limited space was more of a blessing than a hindrance as you worked together to remove your pants, as it kept him wonderfully close to your naked body while you slipped the restrictive bottoms down to your ankles, fighting to keep your lips on his the whole while. It was perhaps a little awkward, but such triviality didn't even register as you finally wiggled out after a fair bit of contorting. All that mattered was holding him close and taking care of the need thrumming through your bodies. Straddling him once more brought a still eager erection close to an equally heated wetness between your thighs, making you moan into a kiss as you anticipated what was coming.

Tender fingers slid between your legs to blindly feel out your entrance, a common habit of his to ensure you were ready. Not needing to see, you rubbed yourself against his offered hand, making your heat and excitement very obvious to the one who'd caused it. The music briefly slowed like someone gasping in awe. Lips on yours, Rodimus guided you towards his erection as quickly as he dared, spare hand supporting your back as you moved with him in beautiful sync.

Sinking down on him happened in an instant but felt heavenly enough to last a lifetime. How he made you so eager but so relaxed was a mystery you didn't care to solve, especially as he was taken in to the base without so much as a pause on your part. Both of you were reduced briefly to soft moaning at the sensations you'd never have your fill of; delicious fullness and friction for you, delightful warmth and squeezing for him. It was heavenly enough that you just had to deepen the kiss to a fervor and hold him tighter at the same time. This bot felt like everything passion was supposed to be, especially as he gathered himself and began to bounce you in his lap, engine roaring in time to every thrust as the pleasure overwhelmed him.

Rocking your hips as the car shook on the spot, haggard breaths filled the interior from you giving him your all, your kisses growing sloppy while you lost yourself in the fun. He felt good, and you wanted more of him every minute of every day. It didn't matter if you were from different worlds, you loved him with all of your currently hammering heart. Judging by how he thrust upwards in perfect sync the feeling was more than mutual.

A shaking hand squeezed between the two of you to curve downwards and feel out your crotch, a habit of his you knew well enough to angle your lower body to assist him. Still bouncing along his throbbing girth, stars burst before your eyes as eager fingers found your clit, shaking but insistent as they rubbed a solid circle into the erect bud. It brought you careening to a glorious finale in what had to be record time. "O-oh God, Rodimus, I'm..." You held him tighter as the world melted away, his EM field spiking so hard it made your body vibrate in a way that was not at all unwelcome. It was a sign you'd learned meant he was also close. Considering how you had moments until climax, that worked out beautifully, and you cried out one final time to sing out his praises. "Captain, I'm gonna-!"

He was gone the moment his beloved nickname passed your lips. Hard squirting inside of you tingling with the faintest hint of an electric burst came just as you throbbed around him, your body rolling on waves of pure ecstasy that drew out shameless cries of adoration every time you hit the peak. You could feel his head buried into your neck as he came, and how he moaned out endless "I love yous" while his physical self trembled even through the padded seats. For what might have been a tiny eternity it was just the two of you in shared, heavenly bliss.

The afterglow was a warm soft bed that seemed to swaddle you as you fell limp on top of him, your naked bodies trembling and heated but satisfied beyond belief. Still atop his lap, you doubted you'd find the strength or will to move anytime soon.

"Primus, you are my everything..." He rasped out with a kiss to your neck, brushing aside some of your hair to leave a few more tender pecks along your jaw. Spent but buzzing from the thrill, he pushed his sweatband back into a less crooked position and laughed breathlessly, his lidded eyes meeting yours to look lovingly into their depths. "How did I ever get this lucky?"

"I should be the one asking that about you." You replied playfully, fixing some of his hair into a slightly less wild look.

Laughing again in the way he only did when blissed out, he ran a hand down your sides, tracing your lovely curves as he settled back into the polished chair he'd have to clean again very soon. "A better question might be; how are we ever getting back to the ship? I can't... I can't feel my actuators..."

"I can drive." You retorted only half as a joke, knowing that it was possible to steer a bot in vehicle mode if they allowed it. Most hated to have a human anywhere near their equipment, but Rodimus took the proposal with a grin, one that wasn't at all dismissive of the idea.

"Ohh, can you?" He purred while gently pushing your back against the steering wheel, giving it a little turn both ways to tickle you while he played the fake tough bot. "I'm a lot to handle. Ever drive a Cybertronian speedster?"

Even with your body still tingling from orgasm, you were as quick as you were merciless to shoot right back. "No, but I have ridden one."

His head moved forward to squish between your breasts like a worshiper bowing at an alter.

"God I love you." Came his surprisingly soft reply, before he looked up at you with unabashed adoration and spoke without a trace of innuendo. "Let's just... take our time. I've got towels in my dashboard subspace, I can clean you up, then we can go from there. Sound good babe?"

"That sounds very good." You agreed, becoming aware of a growing sticky mess between your thighs. Such a thing was common when the two of you really got going, the natural result of the overpowering pleasure that could only come from the connection you shared, but you were still happy he always offered to clean it up. To convey your gratitude, not just for the towels but everything, you settled a loving kiss on his forehead and whispered.

"Thanks, Captain."

#transformers #maccadam #mtmte #more than meets the eye #lost light #rodimus prime #rodimus x reader #rodimus #my writing #kofi commission #human reader #self insert #female reader #lemon #holomatter avatar