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musicrunsthroughmysoul · 4 months

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OOF, introspection and retrospect...WHAT A THING.

My internalized homophobia in high school was so bad that I not only jokingly proposed - WITH A RING, THAT I BOUGHT - to one of my best friends, but I also had our 9th grade Honors English teacher (who had us both in his classes, but we were in different classes; I don't recall why, but I suspect that we were in different classes because I was in choir and she was in band) call us, during roll-call, "Lily/******* 'our surnames hyphenated'" because it just so happened to be that our surnames hyphenated/put together made an actual English word/phrase, and I just thought that coincidence was too hilarious to not bring attention to. (AND YES, OUR TEACHER DID THAT IN CLASS, IN FRONT OF ALL OF OUR CLASSMATES, IN BOTH OF OUR CLASSES. I ASKED. I...jesus christ. No wonder I was known as "the weird girl" in high school. Oh my god. Why did that never occur to me that those things might be connected. GOOD LORD.) AND I call that internalized homophobia because I did pretty much all of that because - considering, yes, that we were all HP fans - when JKR announced that Dumbl*dor* was gay this best friend of mine (homophobically) refused to believe/agree with that, so ever since then, I made a point to embarrass her over it, and our friend group played along. (Y'all should see the card my lesbian best friend gave to me for my 14th birthday when I had my whole friend group over for a birthday party/sleepover. The card she gave me was literally a piece of paper with a meme printed out on it of a cat looking horrified/shocked going "DUMBL*DOR* IS GAY???????" and yes, my best friend who we were making fun of through it was there. There's even a [not candid, though] photo of all of our reactions to it. Oh, and I will NOT BE SHARING THAT PHOTO. I was 14. And my birthday party was '80s themed. I WILL NOT!)

Now in hindsight (although to be fair, I was in high school when all of that happened, so of course I was immature), I know 100% that embarrassing someone for their homophobia/racism/sexism/bigotry is not the way to make them less homophobic/racist/sexist/bigoted. That's probably one of the worst ways possible to go about changing people's hearts and minds.

BUT, for the first time, something new about that situation has occurred to me that didn't before, and that is: while I knew one of our mutual best friends' thoughts/feelings about it (our lesbian best friend who had come out to us before I started all of that in high school...YES, I AM ASHAMED OF THIS KNOWLEDGE), we had other mutual friends who were bi who knew what I was doing and maybe sort of thought it was funny, but at the same time, I also realize...they probably did not think it was funny. And, in hindsight, I wonder exactly how they felt about it. I wonder if I made them feel worse, like I was making a complete and utter mockery of being queer (which, to be fair - I was. Because of internalized homophobia), and thus I was acting as though their queerness was something worthy enough to be mocked, too. Or...something. The point is that I don't know how they actually felt about it, and I wonder. I think I might ask one of them how she felt about it.

I also just realized that, considering the fact that my friend group (including my homophobic best friend...who I also literally referred to as "wifey" after I proposed to her. PLEASE let that be the reason I never marry. And I say that in self-recognized horror.) ostracized me at the end of sophomore year after I gave a very harshly/poorly worded critique of religion but particularly Christianity, perhaps the whole homophobia situation thing was related/contributed to that, although, as I said, at the time, my friends all generally played along with [the laughing-at-homophobia bit] and thought it was funny. And my town, if you could not tell, was known for being overtly Christian (but not, I would suggest, exactly in the charitable sense; more in the moral way of "If everyone knows I'm a Christian then no one will actually think I'm a racist, sexist, xenophobic, homophobic asshole - also because most of the town is") and homophobic. Although not all of my friends in that group were Christian, and most of them who considered themselves religious seemingly did because their parents were, so...I don't know. It could be a possible contribution, but it also could not be. It might've also been that they all just wanted an excuse to finally push me out because I was annoying (and, especially, annoyingly depressed, which they told me to my face. Or at least my homophobic friend told me that to my face, albeit in middle school. I did not get less depressed in high school, though. Depression always was, and often still is, my baseline temperament, but I do wish I hadn't clung to that group so fiercely as a way to...combat my depression, I guess? Because, honestly, with more hindsight/introspection, I don't think being friends with them was ever going to make me feel better, in terms of how depressed I was. They were, simply, the wrong people for me to seek comfort and reassurance in, and maybe I was the wrong person for them to seek comfort and reassurance in, too, because of my depression and how honestly selfish and clingy it made me. And now the joke's on them AND me because when I'm depressed I don't reach out to a god damn soul. LOL Not that I'm blaming them for that. That is entirely, 100%, completely a me problem, especially because I'm not friends with any of those people anymore).

#homophobia tw #internalized homophobia tw #yes I was fucking immature and not sufficiently educated and went about projecting my frustrations surrounding social/political issues #in the completely wrong way. with hindsight I acknowledge that and I do as much as I can to never be like that again.#everyone's problematic at least once in their lives and I feel like it's because we all (at some point) lack the care and knowledge #needed to be more thoughtful of others and/or make better decisions about ourselves that impact others.#is that a cop out? I don't know. and I don't mean that it justifies it. I just mean that it is probably a contribution.#but we CAN always do better and it requires compassionate action and thought. at least that's how I think of it and what motivates me #to do better. ...that's my last spiel for tonight. sorry for...all of that. especially if you read it. (I am truly sorry.)

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dreamcaught · 1 month

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Fandom has Critically Failed a Media Literacy Check: Thoughts on Ascended Astarion

TLDR: Yes, he's evil. Yes, he's still in love with you.

Okay so now that I know more about both Spawn and Ascended Astarion from personal playthrough experience, I have to say it's really weird to me how much the fandom is pinning them against each other. In all practicality, they're the same fucking person.

Astarion's non-romance specific lines are practically identical. If you're his friend with high approval, he's pretty badass, if a megalomaniac. His self-obsession and self-importance make sense in context, though, and they aren't even that much more pretentious than his earlier expressions of desire for power. It's just that he has the power now. He says he's happy, is excited to be prosperous in his own way, and continues helping you. He's no more cruel than he was before. I can't speak to low-approval lines because my games will always reach "Exceptional" levels of approval for my favourite party members, but I can't imagine them being any different than low-approval spawn lines.

On Love

When romanced, the biggest fandom criticism I'm seeing is this idea that Astarion no longer loves his romantic partner. I have been looking for evidence of this and can't find anything indicating its truth. The closest thing is a post-breakup conversation which, in my opinion, is a huge cop-out. Even still, it does not say anything about his love for you -- only your love for him.

"Of course I understand love. All too well. The greatest crimes committed in this world are committed for love. A hunger crueler than bloodlust. I know how to play with it, and I can't resist playing the hand I know. I would have ruined your love, used your trust until you were nothing. So, for what it's worth, I respect you for making the choice you did. I never knew you had it in you."

I can imagine these lines were written for a very practical reason: They don't want break-ups to affect game-play. An entirely evil Ascended Astarion would just swan the fuck off if his partner left him, and that's not fair to a player who just doesn't want to be in a relationship in-game anymore. This is different than if the character breaks up with the player, because that usually happens because of some sort of cruelty the player chose. Actively trying to kill him, failing to persuade him after showing support for his ascension, or kicking him the balls after agreeing to be his spawn are all actively mean on the player's part. (Or an unfortunate dice roll, but it is - after all - still a game.)

Having Astarion leave the player after he breaks up with you is a consequence of these cruel actions; having Astarion leave after you break up with him is a game-play issue. They can't realistically account for why the player would do so. So they've thought of a realistic reason for Ascended Astarion to stick around: he respects you.

But I also think this speaks to Ascended Astarion's character.

People like to point out the way he says love in this line, as though it is something disgusting - something beneath him. Yes, he probably hates the concept, hates the feeling of it. But: he didn't like it much when he first fell in love with you either, as a spawn.

And he's only felt it once before you broke up with him, so there's that.

Astarion is insecure, even ascended, and if the player speaks for him - tells him he can't love, says he is too cruel, his actions thereby will only justify those concerns. It is a self-fulfilling prophesy, but that is not a result of him not loving you; that's a result of you saying he can't.

Reflect on this: Of course I understand love. All too well. I would have ruined your[s].

He loved you. He loves you, still. He can't say he doesn't, even if he respects your decision to leave him. However, he also feels that love is ruinous. He has become an even darker, more evil creature than he was before, and he believes your connection to him would be destructive. Consider that you have just denied him what he wanted: you. His love for you has hurt him, so he feels that he would hurt you back. He gave his trust to you, and you broke his heart, so he maintains that the same would happen to you: that he would use your trust until you were nothing, like he is. That is Astarion's nature both before and after ascension, but it is not an argument to show that he no longer loves you. That is an argument to show that ascended Astarion is just as lost, insecure and retaliatory as he was when you first met.

On the other hand, if you do not break up with Astarion, there are copious lines which showcase his love and complete devotion to his partner:

"You sweet, sweet thing. I want what's best for you too, of course." (In response to: "I hope you learned to love me," he says,) "What's to say I don't? I'm willing to share all of this with you. What's that if not love?"

(In response to: "I hope we can work things out and stay together," he says,) "Of course we can. You're the one that I want, the one that I love... My dark consort. My right hand. My most beloved spawn."

("So what would I be? A vampire, or your spawn?") "You wouldn't just be some spawn - you're far more than that to me. We could be together for eternity, ruling this world side by side. We could have it all."

("It sounds like you'd have it all.") "I already have everything. Except you by my side."

These lines come from the conversation before choosing to become his spawn or breaking up with him. All of these responses explicitly demonstrate Astarion's love for the player. Now that he achieved his greatest goal to become his strongest self, his desire is to share his success with you. As a vampire, that means to become like him, to become his. In a very real but evil way, he is very obviously asking you to marry him. And he's being very honest about it.

I've seen a lot of arguments about these lines which pretty much come down to: he's lying. But, kindly, fuck off. That isn't an argument; there is absolutely no reason to think he's lying here unless you have already chosen to think he's lying, and that's just another self-fulfilling prophesy.

Astarion being evil does not automatically mean that he's lying. Astarion's voice acting here does not automatically mean that he's lying, either. Yes, he sounds different: he is more self-assured, more powerful, more arrogant - but he's not fundamentally different in his ideals or desires from his spawn self. There is no evidence to support the claim that Astarion is manipulating you or lying about his feelings to - what? Stay with you? Why would he? It is through this very conversation that he allows you to decide for yourself what you want to happen next, so trying to claim he's manipulating or lying to you here is shallow.

And at this point, people will bring up the wisdom check. Look, I have no idea why this check means that Astarion couldn't possibly love you or respect you. In fact, I argue that it's much the opposite: he respects the player so much that he thinks that they're degrading themselves to be with him. He thinks so little of himself that you are lowering your standards, lowering yourself, to be with him:

He will always see you as degrading yourself if you continue to be with him. But perhaps you wish to degrade yourself. And he knows it.

Your choice to become his consort is beneath you - not beneath him. Your wanting to remain at his side is not what you deserve because he thinks you deserve better: but he knows, at this point, that it's what you want anyway.

Dominant/submissive Undertones

"On your knees, darling." A lot of people feel uncomfortable with the new dynamic created when Astarion ascends. His relationship with the player is significantly more defined than it ever is when he's a spawn. This is true throughout a spawn playthrough, as well: it is only at the very end of the game, in the epilogue scene, that spawn Astarion confirms your relationship as fully established. Whereas with ascended Astarion, he considers you his established partner now - his eternal lover and consort.

The Dominant/submissive undertones created by the master/spawn dynamic makes some people argue that ascended Astarion is abusive, for some reason. But - no, it's not. Just - understand that actual abuse is a sensitive topic wherein claiming Astarion's dominant aspects are abusive is actually offensive to both people in D/s (Dominant/submissive) relationships and to survivors of real abuse.

But a few things:

Astarion is evil. Astarion is always evil. Astarion is chaotic evil as a spawn and more lawfully evil ascended. He is cruel with his words, has a twisted sense of pleasure and pain, acts selfishly and relishes in having power. He "has a casual relationship with murder," genuinely dislikes children/the weak, and legitimately does not care about most people. Ultimately, Astarion craves for control - over himself, over his life, and over others. But as Astarion learns in his own story arc: being evil does not mean he cannot love. These things do co-exist, and you are the exception. Your friends are like salads (side-dishes, add-ons, auxiliaries... they don't really count as much as the main course). So yes: he can be mean and he can be cruel - because he is, from the start, fairly evil. But since that's true for both spawn and ascended versions of him, this doesn't matter. You must accept this as part of his character; if you don't, that's on you, not the text.

Being dominant is not fundamentally abusive. There are countless real life examples of D/s relationships which are based on love and respect. These relationships are just as real and just as valid as any other kind of relationship. They are not based on abuse and should not be seen as such.

This relationship, as degrading and submissive as it is, is still based completely on consent. Astarion never forces you into your agreement, whereas he does thank you for it twice: "You have given me everything. Thank you." and "Gods, you're beautiful. And you will be beautiful forever. Thank you, for trusting me." Many people will see the subsequent inability to break up with him as abusive, but I must insist: he is very clear that this pact is eternal. That this is forever. If you break the consent of forever, then that's you being cruel again - not him.

On Possession

Another line he says in this post-breakup scene is this:

"And if we were beholden to each other? Well, how is that too different from being enslaved?"

In my opinion, this line is much more significant than the previous. It speaks to Astarion's tenuous grasp of relationships in general, but also how he views both himself and you when partnered.

Importantly:

"beholden to each other" is not "my ownership of you"

From the beginning of the game, he's using you and he's expecting you to use him. For Astarion, every relationship in his life has thus far been transactional. Every relationship except yours, which is the only one he wants to be real.

If the player breaks up with Astarion, the reality of this relationship is broken. He reflects on it once again as being transactional. He is no longer attached to you romantically, and so he strikes a business deal with you instead.

This devolution of Astarion's understanding of relationships does not happen if you choose to stay with him. He doesn't think of your relationship as transactional at all - in fact, he shows trust, devotion and reciprocation of possession and affection. He considers the relationship to be established and the most authentic one he's ever had.

Ascended Astarion considers his consort his "right hand," "by his side," -- these are just different, fancy ways of saying that you are his equal without saying it outright. He is as beholden to you as you are to him.

Astarion may be more open about his possessive tendencies toward his partner - but saying "my treasure," "my beloved spawn," or any other endearment with the possessive "mine" at the start of it isn't nearly so damaging as some people are claiming it to be. Spawn Astarion's "my love" is really no different. That Astarion is open and vulnerable with these endearments is just showcasing his trust in your shared devotion to each other. Think of it this way: you could very well be calling him something similar right back.

If you have not actually played an ascended playthrough - or, heck, if you haven't played the game at all and are making loud opinions about Ascended Astarion as a lying liar incapable of love or of Spawn Astarion being the better choice -- maybe stop. Maybe just enjoy what you like and let others enjoy what they like. Maybe practice some media literacy and note that Astarion is Astarion is Astarion - he's the same character, both beloved and hated by many, with virtues and vices that are compelling and flawed.

The writers have created a rich story. Understand that the story being told is the one being chosen by the player - whichever direction they choose to take it.

#astarion #ascended astarion #spawn astarion #baldur's gate 3 #meta #bg3 meta #on love #long post

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visenyaism · 1 month

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um. you do know that the uni protests are wildly antisemitic right? like. there are people there who are fully advocating for genocide of jewish people and the rest of the protesters are not only not kicking them out but actively cheering them on. not to mention that the actual effect of the protests has been to take attention away from the people actually suffering in gaza. like, to be clear: i actually agree that universities investing in weapons programs should divest - but the protesters are asking them to violate the civil rights amendment. (yeah, refusing to employ or work with someone because of their nationality or ethnicity is illegal, and rightfully so.). and also to be clear, i think that the universities' reaction and deployment of the police is a massive escalation, morally wrong, and a violation of the right to protest. but just because i don't think the protesters deserve to be killed or seriously physically harmed does not mean i think theyre in the right. hard to believe they care about ethnic cleansing when they support the regimes that have ethnically cleansed their jewish populations.

I don’t think it’s fair to talk about every single protest like they are a single unified entity. there are almost a hundred active encampments all over the country. i also do not think it is fair to say that every single protester is antisemetic or supports regimes that ethnically cleanse jews especially when a significant amount of campus organizing has been undertaken by chapters of jewish voices for peace and that at least in NYC jewish students have been a really big part of the protests.

I find myself alarmed by the media messaging that these protests are about jewish students’ safety versus pro-palestinian protestors organizing, because that narrative also characterizes Jewish people as a political monolith when there are non-token amounts of participation on both sides and equates Judaism with the state of Israel. That messaging is also what is doing the most to take attention off Gaza to me. Almost 35,000 Palestinians have been murdered by the IDF since October, and the American media’s handwringing about the tactics used by student protestors is the distractor here especially because a lot of the reporting out is in bad faith and right-wing agitprop.

Some of the encampments need way better message discipline and organization in terms of who is allowed on board because some of the things i have seen individuals saying and cheering for are genuinely repugnant and antisemetic. But the idea that they are all actively welcoming and cheering on genocidal rhetoric is an overgeneralization that has been used to justify these crackdowns and shut down any criticism of the state of Israel as antisemitic.

the police are not brutalizing students and faculty and journalists and protestors to combat antisemitism or allow jewish students to feel safe on campus, they are doing it to repress dissent. Jewish students deserve to feel safe on campuses. Sending in thousands of military police to beat up students and faculty endangers everyone on campus. I worry that using combatting antisemitism as an excuse for cops to unlawfully arrest and brutalize thousands of people in defense of a foreign country that has murdered 14,000 children in seven months is going to make Jewish students less safe, not more.

#the house just passed a law that says that calling the state of israel a racist colonial project is equivalent to blood libel #the rhetoric that all student protestors are antisemitic endangers us all #because it is being used to facilitate a literal fascist crackdown all over the country

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thenyoumightaswellwrestleangels · 29 days

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There has never been enough of me (and I have nothing left to give)

Blood nose and a crooked tongue (I always wanted to be someone) - series masterlist here

pairing: tim drake x reader (gender neutral)

length: 1k

genre: fluff kinda, comfort

warnings: they're gonna talk abt their feelings, timmy and reader are both so judgy but they get through it, they are both keeping so many secrets

a/n: more timmy bc he's on the brain rn

"Can I ask you something?"

"Shoot."

"Why a PI? Why not a cop or something?" Tim asks, feet swinging off the edge of the rooftop as he sits next to you.

"Never really had much respect for authority." You shrug.

"Can I ask you something else?" Tim continues. You huff out a laugh.

"You can ask me anything," you respond simply.

"You're way too smart for the work you do."

"That's not a question."

"You know what I mean, though."

"Ask me anyway. Say it," you respond, turning to look at Tim, eyes locking with his under the faint moonlight.

"Why do you waste your life and your talents chasing cheating, rich husbands around Gotham? You could do so much more." He says pointedly, a frown tugging at his lips. You turn away from him, tipping your head back to look up at the night sky as you sigh.

"Why do you think I'm a waste? Hm? Why do you think my life isn't worth it?" You ask plainly. Tim tenses next to you.

"I didn't mean that."

"But you did say it." You respond, tilting your head to look at Tim again as he opens and closes his mouth, searching for whatever words will make this right. You sigh again and lift your legs up, tucking them under you as you turn to face him in crisscross. You pointedly ignore the alarmed sound he makes and the way his hands shoot out at the idea of you moving around so close to the edge of the roof.

"What are you looking for here, Tim?" You ask firmly. Tim shifts, eyes wandering away from yours.

"What do you mean?" He mumbles, his gaze avoiding yours.

"It's just… people like you - they spend their whole life trying to make something of themselves - trying to be someone… thinking that their life is a waste unless they, I don't know, find some constant way to justify themselves and the space they take up. You look at your reflection and see yourself - see your worth based on that." Tim looks back at you, finally, lines etched in his forehead as he furrows his brows.

"People like us, you mean," he says gently - too gently for someone who was just insulted, you think bitterly.

"No," you shake your head. "No, I'm not like that."

"Yes you are, you've just… swung too far the other way."

"No, I… don't push this, Tim." You turn away from him again, swinging your legs back over the edge of the rooftop and looking pointedly away from him.

"Do you ever think about the fact that you let your talents waste away because if you actually try, there's a chance of failing? If you try to actually be someone… actually do something, there's a possibility that you just didn't have all that talent that you thought you had?"

"Tim, I swear to god…"

"Because you're wrong, you know-"

"Tim," you snap. "…stop. You don't know everything about me. You don't know everything about my life or my job or why I've chosen to live the way I do or become the person I've become. And even if you did… you of all people have no right to judge me on this." You frown, hands clenched into fists on your lap as you stare at Tim intently. He sits up straighter at your words, his chin lifting defensively.

"What's that supposed to mean?" He asks wearily.

"Oh, come on," you sigh. "Rich boy who grew up in Wayne Manor, taking over his father's company? You can't… you can't say you're any different."

"You don't understand it," he says defensively.

"Then enlighten me," you quip back.

Tim opens his mouth, then closes it. I'm Red Robin, he wants to say. I've made something of myself. I couldn't possibly make more of myself.

"I'm…" he stops, eyes searching yours. "There are things you don't know about me or my life, either," is what he settles on.

"Well," you say stiffly, "maybe neither of us should judge, then."

"…I'm sorry."

"So am I."

Silence blankets the two of you, both of your faces tilted up to watch the clouds pass over the moon, cloaking you in darkness before bathing you in light again, and again, and again. Tim glances over at you, his brain going foggy at the way your eyes flutter closed and a sigh escapes your lips.

"What did you mean earlier?" he muses. You arch a brow questioningly, eyes still closed. "You asked me what I was looking for here. What did you mean?"

"I…" you open your eyes, turning to look at him with a vulnerability that makes him wish he could cover himself up more. "You… think you have succeeded where I've failed. You think you've made something of yourself and I've chosen not to - I think it's the other way around, but whatever. My point is… why are you here? With me? Do you… want to make something of me, too? Or do you want to be with someone who isn't anything, so that you can get away from trying to be something? Because either way, I don't like that. I won't be with someone who sees me like that."

Tim looks at you for a long while, his expression softening in a way that makes you shift, feeling naked under his gaze.

"Maybe I like being with you because I feel like, no matter what I do, I'll never make enough of myself, " he says quietly. "And maybe it's just nice being with someone who sees themself the same way. Maybe you just make me feel seen and heard and… maybe you make me feel like I'm enough."

"Oh," you say haltingly. "…oh."

"And maybe," he continues, taking your hand gently in his to press a kiss to the back of your knuckles. "Maybe we could both learn to be a little less defensive." You huff out a relieved laugh at his words, burying your face in the hand not holding his.

"And maybe a little less judgemental," you add. Tim laughs.

"Yea, that too… that, too."

#smsn.writes #tim drake #tim drake fluff #tim drake x reader #tim drake imagine #tim drake fanfiction #tim drake fic #tim drake wayne #tim drake x you #tim drake dc #red robin #red robin x reader #red robin x you #red robin x y/n #red robin imagine #red robin tim drake #red robin dc #red robin fanfic

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hyacinthsdiamonds · 1 year

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Not liking a driver does not give you a free pass to bodyshame them, or to wish literal death and severe harm on them, or to be racist and/or xenophobic towards them. Not liking a team doesn't give you a right to do the above to those afflicted with the team either, or to be misogynistic towards the women involved with those teams. Not liking which team or driver someone supports, does not give you a right to do any of the above.

The drivers and the teams may never see the hate you spill but wait. We all know that they do;

Nicolas Latifi got such severe death threats he had to hire security

I'm not touching on the disgusting racist abuse faced by many of the drivers because there has been far too much to easily unpack but I do want to note that it got so bad last year that Alex for instance got such severe abuse last year his fans had to tell his family to go offline for a few days (not to forget the people who made up conspiracies about him and used his mother's past as a means to justify the abuse they were directing towards him).

I'll never forgot the amount of sexist hate directed at Hannah Schmitz, one of the few and one of the most recognizable women in the paddock who has lead red bulls strategy department the last couple of years, - because apparently women in motorsport are only valid if they're not under the red bull umbrella - which got so bad multiple of the drivers called it out publicly.

The multiple conspiracies created about and general racial discrimination faced by Yuki and Zhou which was and continues to be encouraged and spread by primarily the English speaking journalists and commentators

Let's not forget the sexist chants sung about Sophie Kumpen; Max's mother at Monza, or the literal death threats that were sent to his sister and young nephews.

The way some of you talk about Michael Schumacher, I don't have the words. The ski jokes has not once in the last decade been funny.

I could go on and on. I could literally do this all day.

Sure the drivers might never see it but that doesn't mean nobody will and we all see how conditional any form of your allyship is. "Racism is wrong unless it's about x, sexism is wrong unless it's about y, death threats are wrong unless it's about z, etc". Do better. You cannot claim the moral high ground, if you do any of the above, no matter how much higher you perceive yourself to be than the person you're directing the above towards.

As for death wishes or crash wishes, cop yourselves on to fuck. I would never wish what I've been through, what my family has been through, on my worst enemy, let alone some driver I'll probably never even meet. F1 is nowadays a safe enough sport but that has not always been the case and there is still no 100% guarantee of completely safety. The risk is still there even with all the advancements in safety. So many drivers have lost their lives or have had their lives altered forever as a result of a crash. Some of the drivers on the current grid are directly impacted or know those whose lives have been lost or altered because of a crash. Nearly everyone on that grid has a story. Some of you have their photos as your icons as you wish literal death and injury on their coworkers, their friends. They would be beyond disgusted by you. I can name far too many drivers who lost their lives in this sport, it shouldn't take naming them to make people realize that wishing for some to die like they did is a disgusting act. If it were to come true, would you celebrate? Would you cheer as the red flag came out? I don't think I want to know the answer, considering some of the things I've seen in the main tags over the last couple of years (see that one person who wanted to violently and literally stab and kill a driver or see that disgusting poll about which way would be best to literally kill another driver).

Don't start with but x did this or y fans did that, if they jumped off a cliff, would you? Why are you so eager to lower yourself to what you feel are their low standards or morals? And I don't blame a driver for the actions of someone who calls themselves a fan while doing anything that I've mentioned in this post, because they're not fans, they're people who use the driver they claim to back as a shield and as an excuse for their appalling behavior.

Also, if you have to say "I don't like driver x but I agree nobody deserves this type of abuse", get rid of everything before the but. You don't have to like someone to offer them basic respect or human decency.

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supercap2319 · 1 month

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"Rogue, you are justifiably angry, but rampaging across the country shames those who were lost in Genosha." Steve said.

"Skip the hogwash and tell me what America's top cop is doin' all the way out here." Rogue said, snatching Steve's shield up in her hands.

"To make sure you don't do somethin you'll regret. But to also find Gyrich and Boliver Trask." Y/N said, landing by Steve.

"Y'all mean to tell me that you came all this way to check on 'little ol' me? Y'all sure know how to make a gal blush."

"I assume you'll be a team player?" Steve asked.

"Depends. What do you got?"

"Gyrich was transferred to a facility in Mexico City. Once I get the thumbs up, I'll lead my team to Mexico to apprend Gyrich." Steve said.

"I reckon we nab Gyrich now before our mystery boys move him again."

"This uniform shows up in Mexico bashing heads in with you. It sends a message."

"Damn right. That you stand with mutants." Rogue offers Steve his shield, and he makes a grab, but Rogue pulls back. "Unless you don't now?"

"Gotta do this by the book, Rogue. Right now, it's complicated."

"I'm sure it is." Rogue frowns.

"Rogue, we all want the same thing. Justice for mutant kind." Y/N said.

"Well, that's the thing, sugah. You ain't no mutant." She hovers in the air and flies out of the underground facility of an abandoned cabin and broke through the surface and tossed Steve's shield towards a mountain. She and Steve lock eyes before she flies off.

"Steve?" Y/N asked.

"Follow her, Y/N. I'll catch up. After I get my damn shield back." Steve said.

"Language, Cap." Y/N flew off.

#x male reader #male reader insert #male x male #x men 97 #xmen #xmen comics #rogue #anna marie lebeau #steve rogers #captain america #chris evans #the avengers #avengers vs x men

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lakesbian · 1 year

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btw here's what i know about the ward cast based on dashboard osmosis

victoria: riot cop (bad) whose riot cop-ism is justified by the narrative (also bad) but unfortunately she has genuinely good and interesting writing wrt trauma at times (fantastic) and this means she is still in everyones brains forever

sveta: transgender but like for real and also not compulsively de-limbing people anymore. good for her. victoria's best friend i think

ashley: i have no idea who this is but from what i understand she's very lovable and also she and victoria should have lesbian sex. and there are multiple of her?

kenzie: little girl surveillance tinker with Problems. and she doesn't smile when she's happy

rain: i have no idea who this is but from what i understand her full name is. Rain o' Fire. which is fucking hilarious. like the name rain being short for. Rain of Fire. is one of the funniest things i've ever heard. it's like if someone's name was River, short for River of Blood. oh and she has four arms maybe?

chris: theres a guy named chris in it

tristan: could start a "forced to be problematic gay in a wildbow novel" support group with amy. tries to murder his brother so he can go make out with a guy

byron: tristan's lame straight brother i don't give a shit about

tattletale, rachel, the heartbroken & aisha: characters this book would be about if i was in charge of the world

#scarf don't look #ward

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bonefall · 7 months

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Since you mentioned only cats and a few other distant animals are sentient, does this mean foxes are getting their sentience removed? Midnight can talk to foxes in the books and even convinces some foxes to leave a patrol of cats alone (the foxes are WEIRDLY violent and talk about eating the cats too lmaoo).

I assume Hollyleaf's changes mean the Fox Cub Incident is either being moved or just removed entirely, I always found that small plot point interesting in face of all those "Non-cat in clan" AUs. Seems like something that could be interesting if an "us vs them" argument was formed from it, especially if it was targeted against Midnight and calling her unholy yknow?

Yeah, that sapience is gone completely. In this universe, language is limited only to humans, cats, and some distant animals that are far outside the range of Albion (elephants, bottlenoses, some parrots, etc)

And Hollyleaf's story especially. Ngl to you, I don't like that fox idea. Or anything about Hollyleaf's Story. I think it was the worst possible route to take.

"Hollyleaf will be a mother to this evil creature to learn what it's like to love something that hates you. It is so sad to be your mom Leafpool (Squirrel-who?). Don't you feel like a shitty daughter now, Holly? Let's not ask any questions about the code btw, or how you were already filled with crushing shame from it. Or how it made you so disgusted about the idea of pregnant nuns that you flipped your shit and ruined the lives of your entire family. No, what really mattered about this situation was maternal empathy. Also here take the nearest male character we can find to ship you with, we accidentally made Cinderheart too gay when she was upset about your death lmao"

But, digressing, putting my distaste of that novella aside,

WC is profoundly xenophobic already with just the cats, and I think it was a CATASTROPHIC mistake to make it so every animal is secretly intelligent but speaks animal language. Now every conflict between cats and their predators is an ethnic dispute! You're chasing out groups of people perfectly capable of reasoning if you bridged the language barrier, but they're also ACTUAL PREDATORS.

AT BEST; It's the same uncomfortable situations that Zootopia and Lion King ends up tripping over. In Zootopia, predators are used as an allegory for oppressed groups... but predators are MADE to eat prey. A rabbit is RIGHT to be terrified of a fox, twice its size with a jaw made for catching bunnies. In Lion King, lions have divine authority to rule over their dinner/subjects, and chase out any animal based on their personal ideology... which just so happens to only be leveraged against rival predator species.

(Nerd preemption: yes i know about lion guard. I do not think diverse Lion Cops were the solution you think it is.)

Carelessly adding sapience to "natural systems" often ends up accidentally justifying bigotry. Bigotry doesn't MAKE SENSE, it's bullshit we made up and perpetuate through culture, but food webs are completely logical. The rabbit fears the fox because the fox eats rabbits. The lion hates the hyena because they compete for the same food. Gazelles don't happily submit to an overlord who is divinely capable of deciding who should live and who should die, it's just nature.

But it gets even worse-- because it's actually WORST CASE; the Erins saw that complicated moral problem and went, "don't worry! They're actually born evil! Foxes just talk about food and killing things :)"

like... my brother in cats, YOU gave them language in the first place! What was the fucking point if they were just going to be evil barbarians anyway?!? For ONE scene where Midnight could show off her Duolingo streak???

So to summarize,

It was an awful idea to start with

It was executed in the worst possible way

In a series that is already plagued with xenophobic sentiment, this somehow made it even worse and more direct

If it was completely nuked it from the story, the series would be immediately better with minimal change. Holly caring for what is essentially the clan cat-equivalent of an exotic animal like a chimp or a tiger cub would have done the same thing

There is not even a glimmer of an idea here that justifies the poison that full sapience does to the wider implications of the series.

Don't even get me started on the Badger Debaucle in TNP, which is actually in my top 5 for most vile things in WC

So if I don't explicitly say that a species in BB is capable of true language, assume it is non-sapient. Talking animals like Midnight and Rat Leader are magical individuals-- gods, curses, etc.

#Guiding principle #I don't even like the name of Holly's novella. Like. Really. Couldn't think of a better title?#You're really that strapped for ideas?#Couldn't call it her Solitude. Or her Tunnel. Or whatever.#Or hell even call it her Fox #Holly's Story... tune in next week for Lion's Book. Or Jay's 634 Pages.#Our exciting new novella. Squilf's Thing.

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sergle · 6 months

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Hey! Can I ask you for some advice? I want to get my friend a gift, but she's the type who will not accept expensive gifts, she prefers to treat herself. But, she DOES love cosmetics like nail polish, and I thought, ohhh, I know who to ask about that. So, do you have any recommendations for good bang for your buck for the gal who has everything, nail polish-wise?

HMMMMM!!! That's hard if she's The Gal Who Has Everything, if you dip into a brand that you know she likes, then you can't be totally sure you're not buying her a polish she already has... you're going to have to break into her house and write down the names of all her nail polish No but like. As a nail polish girl, the first thing on the table is that this is a rare occasion where I don't think a gift card is a cop out at all! Like, if there's a specific brand she really goes after, then going that route would just allow her to pick up a future release of her choosing, or specific stuff she has an eye on. If she's a nail polish girlie but has a brand you DON'T think she's frequented a lot (mooncat, ilnp, starrily, holotaco are all ones with catalogues that I like a lot- mooncat is probably highest quality and ilnp has the most range and the best deals) then hitting some of the polishes from there will mean you aren't risking doubling her up on some product. As far as picking colors and finishes, that's the fun part, that'd be up to you. The last option, also, the foolproof one: get shades from a collection of polish that is a New Release! And pray that she's not buying it at the same time as you. lmao Bang for your buck: I think one of the more fun things I've gotten for myself was gold leaf/gold flake? that shit they put on ice cream to justify the price hike in expensive restaurants. It's very very cheap to pick some up, and it's fun to use for nail art! You can also get her Tools and Basics that are helpful, like unusual magnets if she uses magnetic polish, glass nail files, cuticle pushers, stamping plates, or maybe a cute nail mat. One of those silicone ones. If she does gel (or is inch rested in it but hasn't done it herself) there are some pretty affordable gel kits by beetles, w the curing lamps too, I actually got one for myself one time. (but I don't do gel nails anymore) (I don't like taking them off) (but if she's a long-wear nails person she might enjoy doing gels at home) and if you do this, then you so need to buy her some buffing powders. That's like the number one reason to try gel, is you get to use those cool as fuck powders that don't work on regular nail polish. The Twinkled T ones are great. Buffing powders are how you get those really smooth glass-like looks like this:

and a tub of that shit is like $12. But it doesn't work on regular polish! I think that's all I've got. hope that helps!!

#long post #VERY long post. damb #nailposting #sergle answers #also if you get her something expensive and you're worried about it you can just lie and tell her it was a sale!#it says on the first page of the bible that lying is cool #also re: gel nails. you can get any brand but some polish uses the keyword Gel in it for literally no reason #gel polish isn't gel polish if the bottle is see-through. bottles of gel always have completely opaque containers and you can't see #the liquid inside

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darkstarofchaos · 7 months

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Now that I've calmed down: EarthSpark Prowl wishlist.

Do not make him a cop. Just straight up, he doesn't need to be one. If there must be a "police are bad" storyline, keep it to one episode and make it a "don't judge a book by its cover" lesson, where Prowl reveals at the end that he only has a police car alt for its advantages (I can't tell if his alt will actually be a police car or not, but it looks like a Cybertronian police vehicle, so my hopes for this point are very low).

If he has to be a cop, make him an ex-cop who quit because he didn't like the way things were done. We hardly know anything about what Cybertron was like before the war, so something like Prowl explaining his disillusionment with the police force would be amazing for worldbuilding.

He can be a little sneaky/schemy. He's a strategist (unless they change that part of his character), he needs to be able to consider a wide range of options. That doesn't mean he always needs to act on those other options, but he can off-handedly suggest them.

You know how there have been a couple Prowl bios that talk about him not handling the unexpected well, but it never actually appears in his characterization? Give him that. Have him freeze up when he doesn't understand something, or struggle to make decisions on insufficient data, or interact awkwardly with people he doesn't know well. Heck, throw in some uncomfortably blunt questions as he tries to get information as quickly as possible so he doesn't feel so out of his depth. Make him stubbornly adherent to routines. Or do what I do and have his processor lag or crash if things get too hard to handle. Idk.

If he ends up in an antagonistic role, don't just make him a jerk. Let him have good intentions and people who understand his side of things (lackeys who follow his orders don't count - I'm talking something like Hashtag validating and defending Starscream). And don't base his antagonism on a lack of empathy or an inability to understand people. He can have those traits, just don't make it "I'll do what I have to because the ends justify the means".

Ultimately, what I'm hoping for is a Prowl who isn't really based on any preexisting versions. We've had a few characters now who are only loosely based on previous portrayals (Megatron, Tarantulas, Breakdown, etc), so that doesn't seem like too much to ask. Give me a Prowl who doesn't really know what to do with himself when he has to interact with people, or only seems cold and rude until you get to know him, and I'll be happy (also understanding and support. I require these things for him as well).

And I guess if he only gets one highlight episode before being relegated to silent background character, all I ask is that he not be a jerk.

#transformers #transformers earthspark #Prowl

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basedkikuenjoyer · 2 months

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Jojolands 13: Ohana Means I'll Set Your Ass on Fire

Dragona dropping some great truth about the absurd in this bizarre adventure. We finally got a peak behind that mask. I love it and I hate it, if you've read the chapter already you know what I mean. We'll get to that, because this right here isn't spoilery and it was such a cool nugget.

I love the way Dragona talks about the "absurd." Chance moments that alter one's life for better or for worse. The things that just don't make sense. Especially paired with Dragona opining about nearly losing their heart in the same chapter that last part about hearts being destroyed hits hard. I'm definitely sure we're looking at a trans narrative here and one we'll see play out. The chapter does a good job of implying what we need to know. Nudges at an early theory you've been changing your body with Smooth Operator. We ready? What follows is no place for beginners or sensitive hearts:

Oh HELL yes! As if I needed a reason, these two were well on their way to top Jojo status and now the dynamic duo of the Joestar Siblings are definitely there. Mean girl sets her sights on a much more timid Dragona who we now know looked way more masculine at 14 than 18. Talking physical build and not just fashion. You know, I don't expect an 18yo to have all that figured out and with this I do think we'll see her keep coming into her own. But holy shit that was fucked up and I sincerely hope we can get through the rest of this with no more sexual assault on my Jojos blorbo.

If they do...Jodio will fuck you up. Set a whole damn bus on fire! And while I'm not looking forward to having to relive the impetus in the inevitable anime adaptation, since we've already had the cop I kinda like the perpetrator being a girl here. For one because it shows a side of this kind of bigotry that often goes underrepresented. You see a little more space made typically for trans men who had bad experiences with men prior to coming out, largely because it tends to overlap with those who found a comfortable half-step in something like a radical feminist group. But this sets up Dragona pretty well for a realistic other side of the coin to that. Your experiences with bullying might make you a little skittish of girls your age, you keep a foot in this criminal world even if we keep showing you (not unlike Okiku) as someone who doesn't fit super well, all this would certainly explain why you'd gravitate towards a figure like Meryl Mei. Why there's great potential for drama if she shows a nastier side. It's all great for a trans story that justifies still figuring yourself out through it...but sticks to a fairly realistic path for a lot of young women who find themselves running with gangs.

All that said, Jodio you absolute freak. Burning the whole bus is metal, it's scruffy, he's protecting family. Doooooope. These two are fantastic and I can't wait to explore their story, their dynamic more. Jodio & Dragona's sibling bond is the beating heart of this part. As much as I love Kiku/Izo & Killua/Alluka yeah this is gonna be a banger. Speaking of, this chapter was also the second time we nudged at Jodio getting shit for looking fey too. These two are ride or die for each other and their awesome mom Barbara Ann. How this all ties into their family falling apart and their desire to become filthy rich? No need to ask...

In lighter news. They. When Meryl learns of the other lava rock that got smashed. We're all clear on who's the brains and who's the firepower in the dynamic duo right? I trust Meryl as far as I can throw her and she's a big lady. But for now everything seems on the up-and-up. Charmingman seems to have passed the sniff test and yeah it looks like he's just going to hang around. I like this new setup. Scouting a shadowy company to see if we can get more lava rock.

All in all one of the best chapters of Jojolands so far. I'm loving it, this is the exact direction I hoped it'd go. The backstory made this pretty heavy and I hope we can have more fun with this gang on the new excursion.

#jojos bizarre adventure #jjba #jojolands #jodio joestar #dragona joestar #chapter 13

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buddhamethods · 5 months

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10 BL Characters I Want Carnally

AKA I'm just a person with two keen eyes and dubious morals when it comes to enjoying media so don't take it seriously, I'm here for a good time.

Thank you @sndrys for tagging me! This was an eye opening experience putting this together. As it turns out I might have a type (ew).

1) Guy from Bake Me Please (2023)

The sole reason for me creating this list! Look, I dropped Bake Me Please almost immediately because it just wasn't for me BUT I've been lowkey watching through my dash. And let me tell you, my fingers gain consciousness and hit reblog everytime this baby's face pops up because...well...LOOK AT HIM. He is beautiful and he should get the guy (hehe get it) in the end idc.

2) Yok from Not Me (2021)

Yok is such a beloved character and for good reason! He is sexy, he is gay, he sets buildings on fire and steals cops' wallets on accident because HOW WAS HE SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT GUY HE WAS STALKING WAS A COP??? I love you Yok, never change.

3) Palm from Never Let Me Go/ OurSkyy2 (2022-23)

The anger I felt for all the injustice and mistreatment our beautiful Palm had to face in this show took literal years off my life. It's rare for me to get this passionately protective over a character and yet here we are, in the Palm Protection Squad headquarters. Even Nueng is on the watchlist!

4) Tonhon from Tonhon Chonlatee (2020)

Not to out myself as an enjoyer of silly goofy times , but I did have fun watching Fish Upon The Sky and Secret Crush On You, so OFCOURSE I thought I would like this one too but GOD was it rough. Did I still finish it? Yes. Did I fawn over PoddKhao pairing and have been quietly praying for some kind of reunion ever since? Also yes. Was I foaming at the mouth barking everytime Tonhon AKA Podd was on my screen? I'm not gonna comment without lawyer present.

5) Tew from My Dear Gangster Oppa (2023)

Speaking of Tonhon Chonlatee...AH! Ai Long Nhai (TC's spiritual prequel of sorts) was sure...something. And by something I mean I saw Meen and decided I will never speak ill of men ever again, feminism quite literally left my body. And then a year later My Dear Gangster Oppa came out and guess what??! MEEN IS THE GANGSTER OPPA! Dreams really do come true, kids.

6) Wen from Moonlight Chicken (2023)

(or Tian from ATOATS or Mueang Nan fron FUTS). Mix...I will eat you. Always so dewy and healthy and sparkly-eyed. But Wen from Moonlight Chicken is something out of the realm of my imagination. The sex appeal? The maturity?? The gentleness??!! Somebody sedate me before I say something I will not be able to justify in court.

7) Vee from Love Mechanics (2022)

He is a pretty bisexual who makes the most abhorrent stupid decisions known to men and then weeps and suffers for them WHAT MORE DO YOU NEED? Once again, is the show flawless or even remotely coherent? Absolutely not. That being said Vee brought me so much joy by being stupid I'm forever grateful.

(also YinWar are so back GO WATCH JACK AND JOKER TRAILER)

8) Prapai from Love In The Air (2022)

To a certain extent I've enjoyed every MAME show I've watched. To do that you need to possess the rare ability called "I abandoned every shred of moral integrity to gawk at hot men". And Prapai? MAN is this bitch hot. Tall dark handsome? Check! Bisexual on a bike? Check! Stubborn and annoying? CHECK!

9) Xiang Hao Ting from HIStory3: Make Our Days Count (2019)

*incoherent wailing and sobbing* IM NOT EXPLAINING SHIT ABOUT HIM LEAVE ME ALONE

10) AlanJeff from Pit Babe (2023)

My newest obsession! I refuse to separate our local senior citizen and his favorite prophetic mechanic. Both of them are hot as shit in their own way. Alan is a sexy dilf with so much weight and responsibility on his shoulders it's a miracle he retained his optimism and youthful awkwardness. And Jeff is a prickly baby-cow-baby-deer eyed baby that is so touch starved it's actually a little funny. SO I GUESS ALANJEFF SANDWICH IT IS.

(don't be shy tag yourselves besties <3)

#tag game #bake me please #bake me please the series #not me #not me the series #never let me go #never let me go the series #my dear gangster oppa #my dear gangster oppa the series #moonlight chicken #history 3: make our days count #pit babe #pit babe the series #love mechanics #tonhon chonlatee #love in the air #love in the air the series #blacked out and tagged every show oops

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ravelqueen · 13 days

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Hello! I'm the anon who sent the last Dom!Kim ask (about the Pale) I'm glad you like it!!! I have, like, SO many thoughts on Dom!Kim (especially specifically your Dom Kim!)

So, I hope you don't mind if I share some!

I'm actually curious about who this au of Kim would defer, besides just mentally, from canon Kim. Like in canon Kim doesn't make that many decisions himself, and pushes you/Harry to do the talking/make the decision. Even when Harry makes a bad decision, Kim doesn't step in, and really only give his insights if you ask him about it.

I'm reminded of the scene where you can choose to go into the apartment that Mr Evrart gives you, and Kim lists both the pros and cons of doing either, before stating that it's ultimately your (Harry's) decision.

This actually led me to get a sub read on Kim (I didn't get the authority check because I thought asking Kim to give me a secret would be too personal/mean). Like, I kinda envisioned Kim as someone who needed/wanted someone to lead him and make the decisions (because Dom used to do that for him, and he feels so lost without him?).

But! That's not to say I don't vibe with your Dom!Kim headcanon/au, like, I can have multiple/contradictory thoughts about a character. I just wanted to share my thoughts on how I see Kim as someone who doesn't really make decisions.

Which could be taken in a sub way, or, following your au, maybe Kim is so hyper critical of how he acts in a controlling matter that he's trying to course correct. So he keeps saying that it's ultimately Harry's decision, and letting him take the led, as a way to combat his controlling Dom thoughts.

Also, I do wonder how a play through would go down if Harry was able to pick up Kim having this internal thoughts (probably through an Empathy, Inland Empire, Esprit De Corps build), and being like "actually, I would like Kim to make all my decisions for me" (Harry would probably need to have pretty low Authority and Physical Instrument, lol)

And because he's, well, Harry, he would absolutely be like "hey Kim, you know how you want to control my actions, why don't we do that? I'm kind of a mess here, and could use the help".

Though I still bet Kim would be like Absolutely Not, purely because out of principle (even though he really wants to), and because he doesn't actually know how much Harry is aware of BDSM, the life style, or if he's just asking because he's so much of a wreck and that he trusts Kim. Though I do think it's funny if the skills try to like, help you convince Kim you can be a good sub by telling Harry if Kim is displeased by a choice (like Visual Calculus, Empathy, and maybe Conceptualization and Inland Empire could help).

Though I do wonder how this version of Kim (with a Harry who seems to make it one of his goals to get Kim to Dom him/accept him as a sub) would react to Jean.

Like, Kim in the original game didn't seem to have much of an opinion on Jean. Maybe some respect for being a fellow cop, maybe some hostility for not being there during the shot out. But in this au/verison of this au, maybe Kim gets a little pissed off at Jean for scolding Harry at the end of the game?

Because at this point, maybe Kim has begun to dom Harry a little bit (justifying to himself that he's only doing it to further move along the case), and having someone else scold Harry gets his dom brain going because only *he* is allowed to scold Harry. He's the one whose supposed to publish Harry if he messes up, who does Jean think he is? Abandoning Harry and then coming back to scold him? That's not how this works!

Anyway, I also have a drabble idea after Kim and Harry find Harry's crashed Kineema, and Harry feeling guilty about it, and asking for a punishment from Kim, and this being the moment Kim steps more into the dom role. But! This ask is already getting WAY too long! So I'll just stop now, lol. Anyway, I would love to hear more of your thoughts!

(For anyone joining us/organizational purposes: OG Dom!Kim post and the first ask)

My dear lovely anon: I adore talking about ideas that's why i throw them into the world in the faint hope I get to talk about the more so you really made my day here! <3

(also never apologize for multiple headcanons/interpretations I think that's honestly the beauty of fandom that all characters exist in this sort of schrödinger's cat/multiverse sphere where as long as it's consistent with characterization it's valid)

And yes! In my mind the constant checking in and deferrals are basically two-fold: One Kim has a very dear love of Order and Structure and Rules Governing Interaction, especially in a professional setting - in this case Harry, no matter what, is the lead on this case and therefore gets to make the decision.

Second in this sort of AU version of him where he struggles with his urges, he'd be extra conscientious about not infringing on someone's agency in a way he's not been invited to. That's what the Structure is for: an outside hierarchy imposed on him, so he's not feeling resentful of someone aside from him exercising authority.

And normally that's not a problem for him, but Harry, because of his absolute level of fuck-up (and being pretty much his type overall) is crossing all his wires and fucking up his Very Carefully Created Systems, so he's like EXTRA deliberate in letting Harry call the shots in a way he probably wouldn't normally, course-correct as you say

Therefore he would probably absolute fucking FREAK OUT if Harry would be like "the city told me, you'd like to make decisions for me", because he'd be like FUCK I'VE TRIED SO HARD TO NOT BE OBVIOUS WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH ME and like double-down on fully suppressing any indication of his thoughts (making them perversely worse probably).

Not necessarily because of a SSC reason/Harry's amnesia and therefore unclear relationship to the scene (bc fucked up version of Kim here, he'd probably get a weird thrill out of being able to be the only one to show him/teach him about this) and more because the loss of control implied by being able to be read so easily by someone who - let's be clear here - is dealing with a lot of stuff and therefore should not be able to pick up Kim's internal struggle.

Jeaaaann oh Jean yes what an interesting thought.

Ok so Jean and Kim even in game have an interesting dynamic imo even though it is so heavily impacted by player choice, because no matter what you've done if Kim is there he defends Harry.

But he defends Harry in this really interesting way, because (at least in Good Cop runs) it's almost a conversation at cross-purpose, because they clearly aren't even talking about the same person.

That conversation to me reads weirdly aimless and strange, because Jean is talking to Kim about Harry the way he's clearly used to talking about him to people that also know him well - as commiseration.

Very "have a load of this guy" and "the things we have to deal with". Not getting into whether that's fair or not (I already know fandom is very divided on that point lol), it is very clear that this is almost rote to him and what is also rote is the way the other side responds: with equal levels of annoyance and pain and trash-talking.

Kim breaks this script.

To Jean, Kim is also someone who spent an extended amount of time with Harry so he expects the other side of his rote conversation to happen the way it always does, but Kim - someone he clearly respects both as an officer as well as his intellect and character - keeps refusing to engage, simply because he doesn't seem to have met the same Harry and that fully throws him for a loop.

In that entire conversation he keeps backtracking, apologizing, amending his aggressiveness at the slightest push-back from Kim.

So I think (to finally come back to your question sorry) that yes Kim absolutely would be annoyed - (idt that during the course of the actual investigation he'd ever let himself indulge in much, but he's certainly started smaller behaviour when it doesn't seem to concern the case - make Harry sleep, eat, dress warmly etc., so there is that kind of possessiveness about him for sure.) even angry at Jean for just coming in and sort of staking a claim on which behaviours Harry should even be scolded for.

But i don't think he'd lash out or anything, because really this is about control - both of the situation and of Harry's responses. And just by responding naturally - by pointing out how well Harry had solved the comprehensive, complicated mystery, how he had taken care of himself, how he'd comported himself quite well, how he'd been kind and capable - he's not just taking control of the conversation, keeping Jean always on the back-foot, deprived of his trusty protocol, but also control of Harry.

Because when at first his attention was fixed on this person who he only somewhat remembers and his (justified?) anger, simply by saying the truth, Kim manages to get him to focus on him, to accept his version of reality, of himself and his character - despite the fact that realistically, Jean's version of himself is probably more correct (simply by virtue of him actually knowing him).

Harry wants to believe that this person Kim is talking about is who he really is and to have someone who he respects say these things he desperately wants to be true, they start to become reality.

And isn't that the ultimate rush for Kim, a dopamine push the likes he's never experienced - to not just have someone accept his rules and judgement and decisions, but to have them accept his reality over their own.

#asks and stuff #anonymous #disco elysium #kimharry #kim kitsuragi #harry du bois #totally tell me about the drabble though!

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the-sinful-voice-witch · 1 month

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TIME TO LOVE STEPHANIE BROWN aka SPOILER

She deserves JUSTICE!

Greek Goddesses! Another character that earned a love post from me, she needs the love, she DESERVES to be loved 💜💜💜 (spoiler alert, this post will be a loooooooooong 😅 )

I found out about her and other characters thanks to the wholesome slice of life comic Batman: family Wayne adventures months ago (I've been a DC Batman fan since I was a kid but I mostly watched shows that didn't include said characters before starting with the comics) and I fell in love with her, I mean she is all purple and her hero name is SPOILER 💘 so she could jump on criminals and say things like: SPOILER ALERT YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET BUSTED 👊😂 HELLO? INSTANT LOVE 💘and then I searched for her, read a lot of comics... and learned SOOO many outrageous things!🤬 Welcome to Hypocrisyland 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️. Here comes the RANT:

So she was an independent girl who made herself the Spoiler persona to "spoil" her wannabe Riddle father's evil deeds and she was a bit morally gray and cynical and wasn't particularly trying to be a hero or a vigilante and then after meeting Robin she started to change her mind inspired by HIM so all her thing started completely separated from Batman and technically it was by associating herself with Tim/Robin that at some point she started to want Batman's approval too and started the whole "fight to prove that I deserve a place here" thing but I think the amount of disrespect this girl faced is ridiculous! Treated like she was hopeless, useless, stupid etc... is she a punching bag? Treated like shit by so many characters for no good reason 😡 and I didn't see any satisfying consequence on them because of it, it was as if the way they treated her was justified because... I don't know, she was compared to Jason, to Dick, to Tim and to Barbara but when is only about her own person she wasn't good enough so they were hysterical about her hurting herself or dying faster than any of them 🙄, so everything is justified because they were worried?

Sorry but NO, I don't care if she isn't as skillful as characters like Cassandra or Damian that were raised to be living killing weapons by assassins or that she isn't intelligent genius detective level with a rich live background that could afford special ttraining like Tim or Batman himself, that she isn't some erudite engineer to build herself taser weapons like Harper Row or a suit flying armor like Luke Fox, that she doesn't have military training like Kate Kane, that she doesn't have hacker skills or a cop dad as Barbara Gordon, or she doesn't have powers like Duke or wasn't trained by ninjas like Selina Kyle or that she started only having good grades at gymnastics instead of having been raised in a circus by acrobats like Dick Grayson... I DON'T CARE, because she had a lot of qualities to start from Zero to Hero that are probably a lot more relatable than the other characters, most people don't have third rate criminal fathers but still she is a lot closer to the normal people than other characters and that makes her great, she is so resourceful even thought that unlike Batman and Tim she comes from poverty and can't get high tech stuff, yet she made herself a costume and helped take down her criminal father in a low budget! How come her resourceness in her situation wasn't impressive to them? How come that she had to endure being dismissed and underestimated constantly over and over until her death? It was exhausting to see! The fact that she started being resentful towards her father and wanted more revenge than justice is enough to ditch her as a hero? (Maybe the Avengers would have welcomed her better in that case 🙄) How much she had to train until the writers stopped making her look unfit and unworthy despite everything?

I don't get why they decided to make everyone around her be an asshole, a jerk, a hypocrite... Specially Tim and Batman (the AUDACITY of these two! Batman "fired" Her from being Spoiler like she being Spoiler had anything to do with him in the first place, entitlement much? Robin mantle I get it but The Spoiler mantle was hers from the beginning he can't fire her from it and then Tim went to comfort her, ironic since he kept telling her to hang the suit all the time, he also said being a Teen Titan was out her league when she was offered a place and told her she can't speak for herself, seriously you fucking jerk? Does he think he is Dick Grayson or what? 😒 the entitlement is spreading! and later when he became Red Robin he DEMANDED her to never be Spoiler again... Oh FUCK YOU 🖕🤬, mister "I discovered your secret so now you have to hire me as Robin" Worse part of that is that he said that after finding out things she was doing on Batman's orders wtf? So is bad always no matter if she disobeys or obeys Batman she can't win) They even made my dear Alfred be cold with at first because "she hurt Tim" but it was actually Batman's fault because he told her his secret 😤 well at least that treatment didn't last, bless Alfred for crying after her death when Dick asked about her and being so happy to see her alive he lose his British.

Why they hated her so much to the point they just doomed her to a horrible death that wasn't even heroic? She was tortured for days after provoking a gang war following one of Batman's plans trying to gain his trust back after he fired her from being his Robin for only 2 months! 🤬 2 miserable months!! because she disobeyed him (sure, sure, no other Robin BEFORE and AFTER her has ever disobeyed Bats orders right? 🙄) and the last person she sees before dying is him who was always comparing her to her male predecessors because he didn't like she was more questioning than them and then lied to her dying face about considering her a real Robin (by the way it felt so wrong that she became Robin out of spite because she saw a girl kissing Tim and she assumed he was cheating... I mean I can't blame her he did CHEAT on his first girlfriend with her, boy I hate this kind of teen drama) . They said it was "unclear" If he was telling the truth, HA! PLEASE. 🙄Of course he is not going to tell the ugly truth to a dying girl (he even "insulted" Her once saying she fights like a girl, wtf? She should have tell on him to Dinah lance) The ones who should have been there were Cassandra and Tim they actually did considered her a Robin, yep even Tim (he even mentioned a few positive things about her time being Robin) after he retook the mantle, they at least loved her! Even if they wronged her at least there was no doubt that they loved her... (Even if Tim's grief for her was short and too dry! 😡, They wanted people to forget about her so hard he was already having new love interests when not even a year passed, he suffered a lot more with his father and Superboy's death than with Stephanie 🤬, at least Cass cried and dreamed about her and thankfully Alfred and Barbara cried for her too even when they weren't that close to her at that time) Because seriously, this was a pitiful sad death, not bothering in making it a sacrifice or falling on combat saving someone noooo, she died after making a huge mistake trying to impress someone who never actually seemed to like her at all! In a gruesome and kinda sexualized way, nobody came to rescue her... Batman only showed up to pick her up after she escaped alone and tell her pretty lies before dying.

What a fucking Joke 🤦‍♀️ how humiliating for a character with a hell lot of potential WASTED! She didn't even get a memorial in the Batcave like Jason! Both their deaths were meant to be permanent but the comics only wanted you to remember Jason but not about Stephanie! Like he never existed! (And later the lame excuse for it🙄, like Batman suspected she wasn't really dead but he didn't tell Tim or Cass about that suspicion? None of them confronted him about the lack of memorial of her? Wouldn't they demand a memorial of a girl that meant a lot to them? He suspected she was alive but he never care to find her?🙄😑 Talk about crappy, tacky writing) it's like the character was thrown like garbage... Indeed that's what they intended to, her death was supposed to be permanent but fortunately for us fans rioted to demand her return very rightfully! 😤 and... Her return was still rushed, lame and lazy 😒 and they forgot to add a LOT of characters reactions seeing her alive 🤦‍♀️, like not even Cass??? I searched and never found a comic with her reaction after finding out she was alive! All out of camera, I hate that, is just so TACKY! Not an epic death and not proper comeback 😬😬

But then we had her run as the third Batgirl! Her solo as Batgirl did a lot of good for her character, with the exception of a few things I disliked like: her interaction with Catwoman that didn't make sense with how they met in the gangs war or that once again Batman has to have all the credit 🙄 because at the end he comes back from a not actual death and it turns out the whole make her a Batgirl was his doing and not Cassandra's doing😑 that would have been better because later they could rub it on his face but they couldn't because it was his idea 😬 but hey at least she got to SLAP him 🤣👏👏 that was epic BRAVO! Ahh that solo lasted too little! She got to put Tim in his place, she became friends with Supergirl and bonded with Damian as a big sister, I swear she should have spent more time with them, she demonstrated her bravery and willpower when she kicked the Scarecrow ass, finally earning Barbara's respect and admiration after she was so bitchy with her, its always so satisfying seeing characters standing up for her after so much mistreatment (i guess she had mixed feelings with the fact that Stephanie is a Batgirl that resembles more to her, Dick also mentioned that and thankfully he stopped being a jerk hypocrite with her too) and did I a mention that she FUCKING SLAPPED BATMAN? Because that is extremely important 😂 and Alfred defended her calling Bruce out in his bullshit test. Then for some stupid out of the blue reason she retired for a year... AFTER ALL SHE WENT THROUGH TO EARN THAT MANTLE? 🤬🤬🤬. Anyway she had to take the mantle back because she was chosen for some tournament where she had to fight Catman and there was Tim again looking down on her 🙄 "why weren't we chosen Cass we are better fighters she is a year out of shape" (Yeah who the fuck decided to make her hang the cape after everything? 🤡) at least Cass defended her saying that she is unpredictable, not like when they were training (Steph was still death) and out of the blue she unnecessarily tells him "you learn fast not like my last student" Really? I recall you enjoying training her 🙄 Sure Cassandra cried and dreamed of her but she used to look down on her a lot, the way she knocked her out in after being fired from being Robin was something we never see her apologize for, it was swept under the rug like never happened, Steph never confronted her about it even though she left her feeling betrayed 🤦‍♀️ and then besties again like nothing 😒. But at least she punched Tim for being an imbecile and then they got together again, so lovely, so happy, she was finally getting respect... BOOM: the new 52 reboot happened. 😃😃

The only thing I liked was that she got triple nunchakus as a personal weapon and that way she doesn't copy Robin's stick and the fact that she went through teen pregnancy and had to give up the baby because I hated that lazy plot that was only meant to make her and Tim have a closer relationship is not canon anymore(they really couldn't think of anything else to deepen their relationship than making her go through that pain so he could support her?😒🤦‍♀️ besides, she had a traumatic sexual assault experience as a child so I find hard to believe she would let herself get pregnant with the scumbag she dated before Tim, I hard to believe she didn't dumped him until he abandoned her in the earthquake) but her origin and relationship with Tim was erased along her time as Robin and as Batgirl(even thought that somehow thankfully now is canon again)and other character named Harper basically took a bit of Steph and Cassandra stories, mixed them and made them her own... pretty lame because Harper's concept was actually cool but she taking their place wasn't cool she also was the one to befriend Cassandra and had a conection with her first instead of Steph and the one who had to fight to be allowed to be a vigilante by Batman instead of her and she was the one that convinced Steph to join the fight instead of Steph wanting to do it by herself but the thing that infuriates me the most in this reboot was that she was accepted into the batfamily without much problem but altmost inmidiatly they made her go against them and againts Batman that this time wasn't being an asshole to her due to the apparent death of Tim Drake, Batman was even being affectionate with her, that hug he gave her to comfort her was precious 🥺 and so satisfying to see but then they had to ruin everything by making her be unreasonable and insufferable to create cheap drama 🤦‍♀️, now that she got the only thing she wanted pre reboot they make her want to walk away?🤡🤡🤡 not to mention I was already pissed of that in her solo as Batgirl they forgot what kind of interaction she had with Catwoman, basically Selina was the last person who was sweet and kind to her before she was killed, it would have been nice to see a proper reaction to her come back but the reboot made things worse! Selina was bitchy and mean to Steph even if she gave her some acknowledgement to her talent but she refused to grant my wish of training her and instead she was trained by the second Catwoman that honesty was disappointed but not that bad because I will like any character that would want to help Steph and Eiko (2° Catwoman) took her in for a while and bothered to teach her something so KUDOS 👍 for her! And Cassandra, Dinah and Barbara too.

And well I'm going to stop the rant here because aside of Tim dumping her and treating her shitty for no reason when they were finally happy so he could be with a random background NPC boy nobody cared about or even remembered so he could prove his bisexuality 😑😑😑, in general things are finally getting good for her: she is finally fully recognized as a Robin and she got another solo with Cassandra and Barbara as Batgirls that wasn't as good as the first one but it was nice and apparently she is now going to have her own team of young superheroes in a new comic.

I wanted to make an statement about things I like about her, the need to make her interact with other characters I think she would get along and my new Ship with her and Jason but all that will have their owns individual posts because I already wrote too much here, if you read it all thank you so much 🙏🙏🙏❤❤ if you felt offended or disagreed with something I said I apologize but remember that this is just the random opinion of a random Tumblr user so... See you in my next posts 😘💋💋

STEPHANIE BROWN DESERVES LOVE AND JUSTICE 💪💜

#dc comics #dcu #dc universe #stephanie brown #the spoiler #batman #batfam #timsteph #jaysteph #dc spoiler #robin #batgirl #batman family wayne adventures #family wayne adventures #dc #comics #cassandra cain #the batman #batman universe

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sapphire-weapon · 7 months

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Alot of people who defend Aeon use that one moment when Leon is on the back of the train and says he misses her to justify that there’s something there, but they also horrendously ignore the moment where he chucks her bracelet off the train 😭 maybe it’s just me but I want to ask you about your opinion of the implications of that scene

i mean the first implication is that Leon doesn't think that she's dead. knowing the kind of character that Leon is, a line like "I can't believe I actually miss her" wouldn't fit his personality if he genuinely thought that Ada was dead.

i can't believe i'm going to do this, but i guess i'm going to have to dissect the goddamn sentence because yeah that previous anon had aeon all over it, and these people are too stupid to live i swear to fuck

"I can't believe..."

i mean just look above. that's an expression of annoyance. Leon is annoyed not just at the situation but also at himself. it's not grief. it's not longing. it's not whimsy. he's fucking irritated.

"... I actually miss her."

the word "actually" there is another sign of annoyance. he knows he SHOULDN'T miss her. he knows intellectually that Ada fucked him over, and that pisses him off. but, against all logic and reason, Leon does miss Ada's presence, and he's fucking mad at himself for it.

this is not the expression of a man in love. this is the expression of a rookie cop who had come to admire someone who he thought was senior law enforcement but then wasn't. he's annoyed that he found things about her to like, because missing her means that he wants to go back to how things were before the truth came out --

-- and how were things before the truth came out? Leon was reliant on Ada. to be without her means that he has to be the one in charge making decisions and taking care of himself. he still wants her to be the authority, which makes him feel like he's learned nothing from this whole thing.

that's what he's fucking annoyed about. in a sense, Leon is griping about the fact that he has to grow up, while at the same time being pissed at himself over the fact that he hasn't grown up already.

this isn't a statement about Ada. it's a statement about himself.

and so when he throws the bracelet away, it's symbolic of him throwing his attachment to her away. it's him making the decision to grow up and leave her behind -- to leave any attachment to her memory behind in this city to get nuked with the rest of it.

AND SINCE WE'RE ALREADY TALKING ABOUT IT

his fucking smirk in RE4make -- i don't know how anyone reads that as love. literally just think about this a little bit as opposed to not at all. he smirks and then what? what does he do immediately following that? he pulls a fucking knife on her.

that's not an "oh the love of my life is here" smirk. that's an "oh she thinks she's got the drop on me but IT IS I WHO WILL GET THE DROP ON HER" smirk. jesus tapdancing christ.

and

AND

"she bites her lip when Leon calls her heartless"

DOES THIS LOOK LIKE AN "AROUSED" LIP BITE TO YOU

BECAUSE THAT LOOKS LIKE AN "I NEED TO BITE MY TONGUE BEFORE I RIP HIS THROAT OUT" LIP BITE TO ME

especially when you consider her very next line

and how sincerely fucking annoyed she sounds.

i swear to god there are some things i thought i'd never have to explain, and the normal human emotion of annoyance and/or frustration was fucking one of them.

these two are so incompatible in this version of the story. when the masks come off and they're both at the rawest versions of themselves, they piss each other the fuck off.

#resident evil 4 #meta analysis #leon kennedy #ada wong #aeon fandom brings out the worst sides of me i swear

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