#im trying to think of specific scenes to use as examples for or against but cant really think of anything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

ofbreathandflame · 5 months

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What are your opinions on that scene in Acotar where Rhys twisted Feyre's arm to force her into that bargain? I read a comment somewhere that talked about Rhys having to twist her arm to heal her.

hi anon!

i think it was not only unnecessary, but is also another example of rhysand's actions working in contradiction to his proposed intentions. and this is - again - kind of a consequence of the bad writing. ive always thought that the way acomaf attempts to recontextualize rhysand's actions in acotar by essentially dubbing them as tactical and intentional steps backfires when we try analyze the validity of them.

(1) even -- and i mean even - if the argument is that rhysand is just "setting the bone" the story would have (a) told us straight up just told us in the 40 page monologue rhys gives. (b) thats not how you set a bone. he twists the bone twice - he doesn't pull it out. he twists the bone into her infected, oozing wound. that's torture. he could literally just heal her at any time and NO ONE would know. there's no one there with them, and the guards are easily warded against. he could also just take the pain away and tell feyre to pretend, as he did with clare beddor. he could literally do anything else than what he did. his explanation doesn't even make sense from a objective pov.

in this post, i talked about how the established arsenal of rhys

(2) as we know, feyre's cell is a relatively safe space. she receives hot meals everyday, her guards are explicitly warded against hurting, touching, or maiming her, if even they so much as try, rhysand commands they have to poke their own eyes out. she is also not responsible for any household duties if she does not want to do them. so not only is the cell private, but there are also no eyes and ears to ever overhear what is said between feyre and rhys. we also learn that amarantha has earnestly completely forgotten about her by the time rhysand has decided to display her.

im saying this all to say - none of the violence that rhysand uses against feyre/tamlin is ever earnestly justifiable; nor do they make any tactical sense. if anything, the violence and sa are literally counterproductive to the help feyre initially receives from rhys. in theory, amarantha isn't actively involved with feyre - rhysand is. its rhysand who tells amarantha that feyre is a hunter - hence the midggardian worm. its rhys that affects how much food she can actually get down, its rhys that takes her clothes away and leaves her shivering in that cold cell essentially naked for hours on end.

like at one point, i think rhys has the AUDACITY to call himself a pragmatist. and thats what is problem -- its not even that rhys is doing this things that is the problem. the problem is that the story treats rhysand's actions as smart, tactical, and intentional decisions...and they literally aren't. and by comparison - i think tamlin's "non-action" in some ways is more tactical than rhysand's. (im saying tactical for a reason, as tamlin specifically understands that less is more with amarantha and essentially often saves feyre's life by not giving amarantha anything; this is a departure from rhysand's tactical decisions with seemed symbolic and counterproductive in nature).

#anti sjm #anti feyre #anti acomaf #anti rhysand #anti feysand #anti acotar

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tpher · 5 months

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how do you make your oc screencap edits?? i also have a td oc and i dont really know where to start 😭

ok so!!! i use firealpaca which is just my usual drawing program. so i'll keep using it as a reference for my steps but of course im sure whatever similar program u use should have similar features

i'll be long winded for funsies as usual 💕

FINDING YOUR SCREENSHOTS

the key to decent td edits is to flat out trace screenshots whenever possible. stock pics will do, but of course itll be a lot more fun and less obvious if u use a screenshot from the show and put it into your new context

in terms of making your ocs, you will likely have to do what someone once called "frankensteining" your pics. this is where you use pics of other characters for their specific features and put them together since your oc doesnt have official screenshots to trace. this also absolutely comes in handy w canon characters! maybe you have a pose but u need them to be sitting. so try to stitch together two different pics to get what u need

it will look very scary but just trust the process. here is a random example i made using a dawn screenshot (where i removed the background), gwens eyes and eyebrows, and kittys hair

the sketching part is semi-optional. if you think you can freehand the lineart then go ahead but i assume your oc wont be a complete copy of something found in canon and therefore you will have to draw the newer/different features (such as the hair or the outfit) at least a little bit. and sometimes when i frankenstein the pics, my brain gets all overwhelmed so sketching makes me feel better jfbdjdnd

(in terms of my own oc, i screwed myself over bc his body type is so unique i gotta freehand it like all the time 😭

you can see i traced his head from his render (ALWAYS DO THIS BTW!!! TRACE CONSTANTLY), but then the body was freehanded using a canon pic as reference because tracing the pic wouldve been inaccurate)

THE LINEART

yes the iconic td thick, sharp, flat lineart. i achieve this by using a normal pen tool, turning off the pen pressure, and then turning up my pen stability to 40-60 (very high). you could use a curve tool if that works for you! but i would suggest against that for ALL of it bc the tool just wont respond well to rly drastic curves and such

the pen size varies on the pic. if the characters are close-up, itll likely be a bigger one. and then the characters' little details and facial features are usually a slightly but definitely noticeable smaller size. for the most part, ive had the bigger pen size at 13 while the details are around 9. or big size 10 and smaller size 7.

heres my technique:

as u can see, all of my lines go a bit too far. this is so that when im done drawing them, i can go back in and slowly erase where they meet and get them all sharp and pointy. this is just how i personally do it lmao. when it comes to facial features and other stuff that doesnt connect to anything, just get a close look at your reference to see how thick or how thin the edges get and do ur best to erase the edges to the point where they should be

THE COLORING

not much to it! the bucket tool is the best way to go. again just get a good look at your references just in case any parts have the lineart also colored in

THE BACKGROUND

you can find some generic td background pics on google or u could get them from the show and try to erase any character in the way lmao. if ur recreating something like, say, a dunc/ney scene w a different ship, then its very tedious but youll have to do your best to erase the canon characters and piece the background back together.

i like using the smudge tool a lot for this!!! just kinda pulling whats already there towards the characters. to save time, put your drawing visible on a top layer as you do this so that you dont have to edit the ENTIRE background, just what you need

THE RENDERING

ok so heres a big one imo. after youre done, youre gonna have to fuck up the quality at least a little. well not that u HAVE to but like..... to match the standard quality of a td screenshot? ive never seen a td screenshot in perfect hd quality outside of stock art. so u could blur ur drawing just a little bit. maybe add in the teeniest bit of chromatic aberration (just set it to 1 or -1). not ALL of them together but u do whatever u gotta do

my personal favorite is blurring just a little and then saving it as a jpeg (around 65-80%) so that its pretty crunchy and looks all the more real

obviously not a NECESSARY step but just something to point out. especially if ur background isnt the best quality so the characters have to match it

this one from yesterday i didnt even redraw topher bc i was lazy and he looks fine enough. i just put danny onto the pic to cover the other character. so i blurred danny a little bit and then saved it in a pretty low quality so that they match one another. look at those pixels. that crunch.

SO THE TLDR IS just trace and copy your references as close as possible. if you cant find a reference for your character, try finding another character w something close enough

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twocrabcake · 8 months

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alright here’s the deal

i’m gonna make a percentage of how many trap victims/related persons survive

wish me luck this is gonna be tedious 🫡

it’s been an hour or two since i wrote that lol i got busy

idk i’m starting when its like 12am????

survived: iiiiiiiiii

not: iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special (survived): iiiiiii

special (not): iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

special is either 1 the game was rigged or 2 they beat the game but died some other related way (ex: adam) 3 or if it was up to somebody else to save you as part of their game (ex: eric matthews, like a lot of them actually)

special good is when it was rigged/something was against them or different but they still beat it. hold on hold up i’m looking for an example rn. ok the secretary lady deborah or something she was in a trap out of her control but she survived.

(timing these for some reason) 1:12 am

dude idk where to put matthews bc his first game was a fluke and he survived but he was also like saved? idk man i’ll think about it (i put him in special died OH GOD NO LOOK AT NOTES)

i can’t put my headcanons/theory’s in here okay cowabummer dude (i have to put adam in dead i’m sorry ok)

1:20 (^im realizing now a shit ton of these fall into the special category whoopsies maybe i got too specific)

1:28 aw dude the fatal 5 are gonna suckkkk bc they’re all working together and linked and connected and shit fhhhghh

1:33 okay dude the steam lady is difficult bc the first half was a special but the last wasn’t. fuck it im just gonna say she could have survived the burns herself

1:40 can’t decide if the first and rebooted games from jigsaw should be put in together or if they should be separate. i just finished i smoked an entire bowl and i am trying my best here ok

1:50 the train guys is rigged they don’t explicitly say it but there’s no way

1:58 alright. fucking finally. that experience was just a downward spiral haha get it bc i hate that movie. also hate jigsaw the movie jigsaw. this was very unpleasant once i’m done with this shit i’m gonna fall asleep to saw 5 or smthn.

2:02 i have to use a counter online bc i’m too tired to count all those little i bitches

2:06 the fruits of my labor. my creation. behold

Pie chart

there we fucking go. a ratio. OH MY GOD THEY FUCKING SEPARATED THE 2 DEADS IM GONNA KILL. YOU. YOU WILL BE BOILED.

oh thank god

ok so there it is. the ratio of victims that survived and victims who’ve perished in jigsaws traps. you don’t know how much footage i’ve skimmed through. 1 like=1 ass kicking for to me because what was i thinking

me laying down in bed after this ↓

WAIT NO I FORGOT TO INCLUDE FUCKING ERIC MATTHEWS. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN.

2:18 ok here it is. the real true official one.

sorry for all that. thank you for accompanying me on this task. i did not have fun. except when i was watching 1-3d but then after that it sucked. 1-3d even took up almost all of the view time but the last bits were so unpleasant it threw that all out the window. gonna go watch one of the original saw movies. you can tell saw x will be good bc it has saw in the name. the title. oh my god oh god i’m realizing i forgot people. i think i forgot bobby. what the hell man screw this i’m going to sleep. i’ll deal with it when i wake up and wonder what the fuck i was on last night. thank you for joining me on this journey of a mental breakdown everybody. a mental spiral, even, if you will. i’m imagining cheesy ending scene music like the character/actor is thanking the audience. signing, logging off at 2:34 am. goodnight everyone.

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enderspawn · 2 years

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theres this fic idea i’ve been thinking of for a long while now (honestly i've had this specific post drafted since may of this year, so maybe since january or so) and want to eventually write one day, but if im being honesty with myself i'm not sure if i ever will, so im at least putting it out there now.

its a chip analysis piece (likely in some kind of 5+1 format, primarily from jay’s POV) specifically between chip and his relationship with food. the simple fact he’s always been this scrawny malnourished street kid when growing up outside of the black rose means a lot to me, and it would likely cause a lot of habits or behaviors the others wouldnt have or possibly even understand to begin with which would be a fun thing to explore and how it can reveal more abt him.

scenes/topics that would be Covered will be under cut

1 ---

the first thing that immediately comes to mind is an analysis and expansion upon his canon interactions with food in canon, such as the bag of chip’s jay gives him on loffinlot or the cinnamon roll incident

for one, the fact that jay carries snacks at all is kind of indicative and would likely be the focus. use jay's pov to explain how she’s learned to bring snacks on adventures since teaming with chip (likely with comments being somewhat snide or huffy about it, or comparing him to a child demanding/needing a snack, since they are still kind of strangers and she doesn’t know much about chip).

(if desired, it could also expand on how he fuckin’ made that small bag of chips last so long. yes the true answer is “because it was funny” but like… rationing behavior? jay might make an absent note of it (due to her observant feat), but wouldn’t likely extrapolate further at the time. also may be cut entirely for messing with story flow too much to include as a detail.)

the cinnamon roll scene is… listen he literally tried to share food with someone and broke down crying doing so because he loves them and wants to share that. obvious example of using food as a language for love and appreciation (which, again, takes on another level when you remember he comes from a food-scarce background). like thats just a thing that happened i don’t care if it was a goof that’s just canon. bite me.

2 ---

observation of chip having "weird" behaviors with food. these include having a seemingly massive appetite and being sure to always clean his plate (you don’t turn down access to food and you take what you can in case you can’t do it again soon.)

but also: as part of chip kind of projecting onto ollie, he’s always trying to pawn more food onto ollie’s plate. sometimes it’s as subtle as saying he’s “not hungry anymore” and scrapping whats left to ollie (which would catch jay’s eye because previously he’s always finished his plate even when full and clues her in) to as obvious as literally giving him more and saying he needs to eat more.

both the above points would be stuff jay would 1. spot and 2. actually take note of/care about, around after desire island or so.

3 ---

immediately after leaving allport, i think seeing reuben would bring back a bunch of chip's old habits and cause him to backslide a bit. after all, even if they were a “family”, they were also still a gang of street rats. on instinct, he would end up showing a lot of food guarding habits (being overly protective of people taking it, hiding food in a stash, etc). he likely also had these habits for a while after joining with jay and gillion, but after episode 16 when they started slowly getting closer the habits faded because he knew he could trust them.

4 ---

this is such a minor point in comparison to the rest of this list but i can see it so clearly in my brain. chip has an apple (likely stolen tbh) and he takes a bite out of it and leans against a wall. jay either makes a snide comment towards him about it or just snorts or something, prompting chip to hold it up towards her and go “you want some?” in a snarky way (speaking with his mouth full all the while).

jay rolls her eyes and says yes and gets startled when chip actually throws her the apple. she yelps, catching it, then throws it back immediately while yelling something like “ew, no, you took a bite of it already! i was kidding! gross!” chip feigns being wounded and retorts with something like “and here i was willing to expose myself to your stink getting on my apple–” and cue bickering between them about cooties.

he just straight up was willing to share the apple, thoughts abt "the fact he already bit into it" don’t register for him bc its such a non-issue in his mind. he offers to share about any food he has/makes because its a silent way to show he cares. i don’t think he’s fully conscious of that fact though. in general i think chip responds a lot better to subtle actions showing love than words of love and this is just another example of that from him

(following this is likely where cinnamon roll scene would go in the fic, both timeline-wise and thematically, since this section is focused more or less on "sharing your food as a sign of love")

5 ---

this next section would be the most plot heavy or traditional “fic” affair, in that it’s not solely fluff padding/analysis and has some original storybits.

the crew would be stranded on an island. i don’t know how exactly, but the key parts is that they don’t have their ship, there’s no one else on the island, and they have limited resources/rations. presumably they know rescue is coming, but ideally they don’t know exactly when (for drama purposes, as well as to make proper rationing out supplies p much impossible). perhaps the grandberry crew is on their way to save them, but they ended up on this island after a storm and don’t know where they are to point the grandberry pirates to. something like that.

actually, this plays out very similarly to the ollie part as detailed earlier, but to the left. as the crew starts to struggle with rations, chip would start (subtly when possible) start giving up his own portions. either by feigning lack of appetite, persuasion, deception, etc. the closest he comes to stating the truth would be when someone (likely ollie) asks if he’ll be okay going without his portion and chip shrugs then leans back on his elbows with a smirk and goes “nah, i’m used to it anyway.”

this is when the rest of the crew also starts to pick up on chip’s behaviors, to the point it becomes a bit of an unspoken secret they don’t want to dig into. previously, and the reason the entire fic is from Jay's POV, shes been the only one observant enough to take notice off all these traits. this is when it becomes So obvious everyone notices it.

6 ---

preferably, near the beginning of the story (likely after the chip bag incident, but before jay starts noticing all of chip’s behaviors, so that she cares for him more than she’s annoyed by him but hasn't put together any real dots-- between section 1 and 2), there would be a section where chip is mocked for his short height (as the shortest of the crew, at around 5’4) and being VERY easy for gillion to carry.

then, after the island section (section 5), there would be another part where chip’s height and weight are commented on. i'm undecided if this would be another light hearted goof scene or a more “dramatic” serious scene (which if it was it would likely be tied to the island incident. maybe an injury or argument or something?).

either way, it happens because jay ends up lifting/carrying chip. jay “8 in strength” ferin. he’s just fuckin light. afterwards, chip would explain saying something like “its not my fault! cause like– outside of arlin, i was kind of a street rat growing up, yknow? they arent particularly known for having a stable food situation, didn’t get all the nutrients and junk you need to grow tall”. it starts as a joke and a kind of light-hearted ribbing defense, but kind of sobers up in that melancholic-nostalgic way by the end.

it’s the first time he directly states anything abt his upbringing and food to his crew, but its a confirmation. well, its a confirmation for jay. everyone else definitely knew something was going on, but jay is the one who is able to connect all the pieces bc she’s the only one whos noticed all the other pieces. she gets the Whole Picture of how his childhood and upbringing caused all these behaviors and kind of what they imply abt chip's behavior now (like the food sharing as love, smothering ollie, etc)

+ 1 ---

for a cheesy ending bonus, have jay use a mix of chip’s anecdotes abt the black rose and drey’s shaky memory to try and cook up a meal he used to have there. (for bonus, if desired she could reach out to lizzie too since lizzie lived with the old chef shay).

depending on author preference, either its good and chip cries because of the ~*memories*~ and the fact they cared enough, or it’s comically awful and not much at all like the original but the sole fact that they went out of their way to very obviously try SO hard to surprise him with this because they thought it would make him happy (as well as trying to speak to him in his own love language) makes him cry about it anyway.

(again, chip responds better to acts of love than words-- having his crew not only notice this abt him, but then do something to try and show that love hits him way harder than anything else could)

#jrwi #jrwi riptide #riptide #chip #ive sat on this for So long please acknowledge me JFKDLSJFKL #also i know i said i want to write it and i. still do!#but like. idk man. if anyone else gets inspired from this you can at least Ask if you can and you might get a yes. it depends fjdskflj #fanfic #(jeb bush voice) please clap #the. the fuckin acts of service post from hours ago caused this to ricochet back into my brain #and i want it Out please i need to read about contract law rn sir plea--#anyway. ''heres a fic idea i have'' my brother in christ the post is 1.7k #jrwi spoilers

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coyotevallie · 1 year

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PLEASE TALK ABOUT YVONNE !!!! ifeel like i barely know her character

@acollectionofcuriousreblogs HEAHEHEHE YES WIN okay so this will moooatly be abt specificlaly yvonne and her friendship with jedidiah . id love to analyze yvonne on her own but its a little difficult at the moment with the material given to us (mayfield please give yvonne stuff to do outside of interact w her male friends im begging) so i have to analyze them thru the lens of their dynamic w jedidiah . but it will go into a lot of what that Reveals abt yvonne as a person also (: and what i think they have in common!! so so basically i think an underrepresented aspect of yvonnes charavter is that theyr .... pretty much the Only person besides sydney to expressly convey that she Misses jedidiah . and that she wants to spend more time with him . yes him and joshua seemed to have been maybe-friends (although they both have a kinda noticable disdain for each other and joshua says jeddie hated him so idk) as well but theres a clear difference marked between their investment in this, exemplified by lines like

this interaction, which carries the weight that while joshua wants to help Sydney, yvonne Specifically is the one that wants to help jedidiah . theres a clear contrast in the phrasing used - joshua's desire to help sydney is emphasized, and yvonnes desire to help jedidiah is a separate one that is emphasized separately. another example of this would be the fact that yvonnes college story is a story about Jedidiah, and joshua's attempts to relate to jedidiah (referencing how he used to be sydneys roommate, as well as the hotdog story) are both stories about Sydney. yes, joshua is trying to reach out to jedidiah as well, but there is a clear implication created in multiple ways that yvonne is significantly closer to him. which means a Lot when the amount of people who are significantly close to jedidiah is Slim. and again, most of the emotional moments of connection that attempt to bring jedidiah out of his shell are from yvonne also:

as well as her being as far as im aware . the Only person besides sydney Ever to express a desire to be with jedidiah more and be friends with him in the present tense, and imply that she misses him:

again, this contrast between joshua and yvonnes level of closeness with jedidiah is drawn!! yvonne says we are worried about you, but i like chatting to you. i want to do it more. which is fascinating!! why do we not talk abt this more!! jedidiahs avoidance doesnt only hurt sydney, it hurts yvonne as well - we know that its been bothering them all summer, and theyve been talking to joshua about it:

WHICH IS SOMETHING THAT IS ABLE TO GET THROUGH TO JEDIDIAH!!!!!! i think jedidiah analyses need to analyze his relationship to yvonne more genuinely . yvonne talking to jedidiah and telling him that hes hurting them is Able to get through to him to some small degree, gets him to acknowledge his behavior - i think that speaks a lot to how much their relationship stands strong, because again, like yvonne says, jedidiah does not like confiding in anyone.

and speaking of confiding!! jedidiah does the Most emotional soulbaring in this episode to yvonne (and joshua yeah but again ive shown earlier that the emphasis is a lot less on joshuas friendship) than he does to Anyone besides sydney or his mother. jedidiah talks about Deep rooted feelings that he feels horrible about having with them. Jedidiah Talks About Things He Feels Guilty About. that goes against so much of what weve seen of his character!!!! so much of jedidiahs time is spent avoiding confronting his guilt, avoiding confiding in anyone, locking himself and his emotions away - i think jeddie opening up in this scene speaks Volumes to how much his friendship with yvonne means to him, i really do think that. the fact that jeddie and yvonne arent listed on each others relationship sections in the wiki is a Crime but i digress - they clearly care about each other

but Why . this is a lot of shit about their friendship Now, but why do they feel so close to each other? what brings them together? yvonnes dedication to hanging out with jedidiah and bringing him out of his shell abd worrying about him is a pattern of behavior:

which we know from this scene here - yvonne has wanted to be close and have fun and hang out with jedidiah since college, this isnt a situation where shes just worried about a guy she knew in college being weird - they have Always liked jedidiah and wanted to hang out with him. they genuinely like yhe guy!!!!! i keep reemphasizing this but i feel like their friendship is really underanalyzed.

but again . that doesnt explain Why theyr friends . this is a lot less evidence based and a lot more me interpreting yvonnes character in my silly little brain, but i think it largely comes from the fact that theyre Similar and yvonne reaches out to that . obviously they both have a common interest in video games lol but im more talking about the fact that they both seem to be generally kind of bad at confiding their emotions in others? i get the feeling that yvonne doesnt like being vulnerable, particularly from this back and forth:

my interpretation of this is that yvonne doesnt Like sharing their emotions with people other than joshua - it doesnt come naturally for them, just like it doesnt for jedidiah. expressing that you miss a friend of yours whos been isolating himself isnt an extremely embarrassing thing to say, and joshua isnt even saying That - just that yvonnes been Bothered by it. but thats enough to get them frazzled and on the defensive, trying to get joshua to shut up. i think yvonne and jedidiah both have difficulties with expressing their emotions to others and i think thats why yvonne is drawn to jeddie - they both have this same shared difficulty, and its comforting to be with people with similar struggles to you. i think we can even sort of see this in how, like i mentioned earlier, yvonne has been waiting to tell jedidiah this All Summer - but didnt tell him in this moment. why didnt they? why are they practicing this whole monologue at all? i think its because emotional vulnerability is something they struggle with, and jedidiah is the same way. they can connect over that.

also i just think yvonne thinks jedidiahs fun and they like being around people they find fun!! i can do all this analysis but i just genuinely think they like each other!! and jedidiah seems to joke about with yvonne in a similar way to sydney on occasion, so i think theres a reason to think its reciprocal. i also think that the combination of their similarities and differences clicks in a way rhat makes them enjoy each other a lot - on the one hand, jedidiah is nervous and skittish and extremelt christian, and yvonne is a quote "fun-loving troublemaker" (can you tell i read the wiki a lot for this post) and a party goth. being w people who are different from you is fun, but at their core, theyre pretty similar - they have a common interest in video games which is really important in a friendship, they both have difficulty being vulnerable with their emotions (although yvonne seems to have a healthy outlet in joshua and seems to make much more of an attempt to overcome this flaw than jedidiah does, so i actually think yvonne would be a reallt healthy friendship for jedidiah going forwards as i think theyr someone who could be helpful and a good example to follow), and they honestly both seem to have a similar sense of humor. idk that might just be the sense of humor of the show but they seem to have good rapport with each other with dry jokes when jedidiah loosens up a little.

also i couldnt really fit this into the flow but:

i think this scene is fun i like that they had Adventures together and i like that jedidiah says he "didnt know how to talk to people" past tense as if this isnt ABSOLUTELY still the case. but also the fact that yvonne was the best thing about college for him?? SO sweet but also makes me SO sad that their friendship isnt so close anymore. jedidiah really cares about her!!!! i couldnt fit this into the flow properly but i think its important to notice that jedidiah absolutely cares for yvonne too!!!!!

thank u for ur time . they r one of my favorite relationships in the entire show and by far my favorite friendship

#jedidiah martin #yvonne marley #i like chatting abt them #sorry if i messed anything up here i read transcripts like thirty times #but i am fallible . alas

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valentinesweetheartspecial · 5 months

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Im really using 300% of my brain right now to properly understand the parallel of Takara and Yuujin to Yamazaki and Sayoko right now. I think maybe if I write it down I’ll suddenly have a revelation mid-post. So this got long so here’s a read more. It’s my stream of conciousnwss but it’s a thought out one but also it might not be coherent but also I love you

The first and last pages here have me the most puzzled, and in turn make the second and third (same scene) confusing because I can’t properly understand who’s supposed to be who. The fourth is confusing because I can’t tell who “your” refers to, if it refers to “you” as in the personal you (stepping over your Own life) or the literal You (stepping over someone else’s life). The general consensus im having here seems to be that it’s Yamazaki trampling on Sayoko though. Also it’s tough to figure out how/if Aki fits into this metaphor, from what I can tell, any references Aki makes to the play and Takara+Yuujin serve to further flesh out her perspective, not to explain her relationships the way the parallel is supposed to be doing for the other two…..Basically, the question here is, Who is Yamazaki and Who is Sayoko in this metaphor? Did Takara’s honesty trample over Yuujin’s life? Did Yuujin’s honesty trample over Takara’s feelings ..? Let’s explore these options

Yuujin is Sayoko, and his life was trampled on by Takara/Yamazaki: There’s some pretty strong evidence here that works both against and for this argument. Yuujin has completely abandoned his life to put his all into Takara’s. This isn’t something Takara asked him to do, though, Yuujin kind of just decided to do it. However, that might not matter if you put this example into pages 2&3, where Takara is reciting what are seemingly Yamazaki’s lines….”I never said I wanted you to quit the revolution and be by my side forever” becomes “I never said I wanted you to give up your life to make me a star” and “When did I say I loved you and that I’d never let you go?” stays the same. This has a level of willful ignorance on Takara/Yamazaki’s part though, because actions speak louder than words……Yamazaki still sought out, pursued and charmed Sayoko, Takara still allowed Yuujin to give his life to him. Following this sort of translation, Takara questioning Yamazaki’s love for Sayoko isn’t necessarily him saying he no longer loves Yuujin, it’s him wondering whether he’s still allowed to love him after having inflicted his current state upon him. The most confusing part of this set is how the first page fits into this though. Yuujin/Sayoko’s feelings being trampled on by, and let’s get specific here, Takara/Yamazaki’s honesty. What is Takara’s “honesty”? Is it his desire to act? His love for Yuujin? His (ex) relationship with Aki? answer: I have no fucking clue. This is why I can’t completely subscribe to this answer no matter how compelling it is and no matter how much evidence I conjure up for myself to try and believe it. Next up is

Takara is Sayoko, and his life was trampled on by Yuujin/Yamazaki: yeah I don’t know about this one this is gonna be a rough one to defend here. i thought this was viable but um well not anymore whoops here’s the mid post revelation I was talking about . This is very clearly a question now of what Takara’s “honesty” is and not who fits into what role . Well . It’s late. I will think about that tomorrow in another longer post . Anyways ,

Yuujin’s lines in pg2 here👇 as Kumada are written explicitly to be directed at Takara and they basically inspire him to come to his “culmination”, to take Yuujin’s years of teaching and care and put it into something greater, right ….Takara’s answer to that is the final page here and of volume 4, where he decides to become the world’s greatest actor (which, by the way, completely contrasts what was said about him at the beginning of the volume).

If Takara is supposed to start out one way and end another in each volume (his relationship with Yuujin being the focal point of all of these and developing differently throughout the whole series), then in this volume, these two pages probably sum that up perfectly

Yeah. So in conclusion here I think that Takara feels guilty for having “trampled” over Yuujin, but with this last chapter of volume he’s realized that Yuujin stands on this current stage having “lost” Takara, and i suppose Takara’s way of paying it back to him is to become the worlds best actor …? Somehow that feels too simple to say . I’ll probably workshop all of this . It’s getting kinda late so I’ll wrap this up for now

Thanks for reading all that. You’re the best

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altruistic-meme · 2 years

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im kinda surprised i dont see many people talking about the police lights that are visible when august is looking in the mirror, what do you think about it?

hi!! so ik what your talking about

this clip and the other here where there's the lights (I couldn't get a screenshot where you could see the lights in the other clip) the thing is that idk if they're police lights ? I'm pretty sure they're from a party, actually!

example here (though I don't know if it's this party specifically) where there are flashing red/ blue lights as well:

someone else mentioned this in a post as well, and August can be seen sitting at a party in these same clothes

so that's why I don't THINK it's actually police lights

BUT, with that in mind, if it IS police lights:

Theory #1: i feel like there may be a connected reason here

in the mentioned post, they also talk about how they think this is the same party where the rowing logo gets set on fire. maybe it's something to do with that? maybe the fire got out of control and emergency services were called. in which case the mirror scene would potentially be happening after the party scene, and it would be August putting his "game face" on to seem in-control while talking to the authorities (picked up from the way he schools his expression into the smile)

Theory #2: August is getting caught for having done... something.

I don't think it's about releasing the sex tape, because I feel like the queen has got that covered up entirely.

However, I've been thinking a lot about the small scene we got where Wilhelm is being taken out of class and told he's being removed from Hillerska. It's just very interesting to me that Wilhelm is being accused as the one who called and issued threats against the monarchy (?!?) and how he seems kind of confused about what they mean when they tell him this.

So while I think it may be pretty unlikely given August's clear guilt we've seen so far, it had entered my mind that maybe someone else had called from Wilhelm's phone to issue those threats. So I'm not saying I think August did that but it's not outside the realm of possibilities. ESPECIALLY if August thought it may get Wilhelm taken out of Hillerska. We already know Wilhelm is making August's life miserable there so him wanting to find a way to get away from Wilhelm makes sense.

So keeping this possibility in mind, this could potentially be August being caught facing threatened the monarchy. And while it was a more quiet affair when they believe Wilhelm did it, he's the Crown Prince and it was probably seen more as an act of rebellion and an internal issue. Whereas August doing it, it would be considered a true threat because while he's related, he's not PART of the monarchy. So he's treated like anyone else who would do something like that.

Making this the scene where August is arrested, and I think he knows what's coming and why and he's trying to go down easy. He knows he's been caught, so there's no use fighting it. So he'll go with a smile, even if it hurts.

So yeah these are my 2 thoughts on that if they do happen to be police lights :] there are a million possibilities, of course since we don't know what happens yet, who does what, any reason there may be police involved, or still even if they ARE police lights or not! I'm so so excited to find out, and I hope you enjoy the wild theories until we learn!

#young royals #yr s2 spoilers #this was super fun to think about #i also hadnt put much thought into them being police lights either bc i do still think they're party lights #(maybe just timed intentionally in the clips to only be red/ blue to mislead us ?)#but i HAD been entertaining the idea about the threat to the monarchy but hadn't had much reason to give the role to August #but yeah this all made me really go 'huh actually it DOES kinda make sense for it to be August'#so!! thank you for that!!!!#i hope you enjoy reading my crazy thoughts eheh #young royals analysis #august of årnäs #askers #anon #shh ac #young royals season 2 spoilers #young royals s2 spoilers #yr s2 predictions

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ethanhuntfemmefatale · 7 months

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Me: *reblogs all your mi:1 posts* guess what I watched last night

Thank you for being (what looks like) the only other fucker on this website that sees the Ethan x Max possiblity and the Jim x Claire x Ethan situation

So, what do you think Ethan's response would be to finding out Max is dead? (once the fallout situation has been dealt with and he can breath)

hello hello and thank you for this ask i love it dearly. I feel like there's this inherent connection between ethan/jim/claire and ethan/max, you can't really have one without the other. anyway I did tell myself I was going to wait to answer this until after i see the max portion of MI1 tonight but i started thinking about it and then i started writing out my ideas and here we are with a rant. below are just a whole lot of thoughts and ideas, some more relevant than others--for the actual answer of your question, you can just scroll until you get to the part that says "OK NOW WE’VE GOT ALL THAT OUT OF THE WAY. I CAN ACTUALLY ANSWER YOUR QUESTION NOW."

You're not actually asking for my ethanmax treatise but i'm going to give it anyway just cause your ask got me thinking about it and i feel like writing about it. so here goes.

ETHANMAX TREATISE

Ethan/max is complicated. you're dealing with a lot of subtle facets when you try to understand them. here are some parts that interest me, im sure there are aspects im missing.

Factors at play in ethanmax—

-The acting choices. These characters, as has been commented on before by others, look like they want to eat each other. That’s significant lol. To add a complication to this, I would argue there’s a subtle edge and nervousness to Ethan when they interact, a sharpness to his acting, although that’s a personal interpretation. I’m looking at the finger-stimming behind his back (out of max’s view) in the initial scene, and also the kinda frozen, too-big smile he gives her in response to “it’s like a warm blanket” in the car scene.

-Dutch angles/blocking. In her intro scene, Max is framed with a Dutch angle, while Ethan isn’t. MI1 is deeply informed by Ethan’s POV, so I always take the Dutch angles as a sign of Ethan’s perspective or mental state. Ethan not being Dutch angled suggests that his world isn’t being turned upside down the way it is in the restaurant scene with Kittridge, he’s in control of the situation. But when he looks at Max, she’s framed as imposing, unsettling (the angle suggests instability) and even maybe frightening. The blocking of characters, specifically re height, is also significant in MI1 and something I think about a lot when analyzing character dynamics. For example, Claire is often “over” Ethan, standing while he’s sitting, suggesting that she knows something he doesn’t or has power over him in some way. That’s reversed in a couple key scenes, such as the horrible patdown scene where Ethan uses masculine sexual violence against her, and the hand kiss scene where he suspects she’s lying to him. Jim, on the other hand, is tallest in any given shot, except in the scene where Jim and Claire are sitting with Ethan leaning on them from above. Suggesting that the only person who might be able to overpower/outsmart him is Ethan. Looking at Ethan’s scenes with Max—they start on the same level, but as they speak, Max is always over him, standing and circling him like a shark. If i am remembering correctly, she even sits on the edge of her desk to be over him, which is such a weird kinda striking choice, and emphasizes that idea of her as predator and Ethan as (consciously tempting) prey. It’s not fully as simple as the idea of Max being more powerful than Ethan—she is, but there’s also an intentionality there, Ethan consciously presenting himself as beneath her to make himself more appealing. What’s crucial to me, though, is that Ethan is never presented as being above her. He is manipulating and using her, but the power dynamics are always unequal between them, she still has way more agency in the situation than he does.

-Narrative parallels. Ethan’s dynamic with Max is heavily linked to the Ethan/Jim/Claire plot in a couple of different ways. First of all, Ethan/Max as a Jim/Max parallel, Ethan following in the footsteps of Jim’s betrayal of the IMF, in order to track him down. Which is tied to Ethan’s role as Jim’s successor and the one person capable of stopping him. There’s more to talk about there but it’s not super relevant (although ‘Job is not playful’ sticks in my mind forever). Also, Ethan/Max as a Claire/Ethan parallel. The two are presented similarly in some key ways, with Ethan using “Claire techniques” to pique Max’s interest, and to be honest it’s difficult to nail down what narrative purpose that parallel was intended to serve. I have a couple theories. I think Claire/Ethan parallels serve to tie the two of them together. Second, Ethan’s seduction of Max implicates him more deeply in the corruption plot of MI1. Third, comparing Ethan to Claire helps to solidify the power dynamics of the Ethan/Jim/Claire trio, with both Ethan and Claire desperately trying to “steal” or “borrow” the narrative authority and agency of an older powerful figure through sex (my personal pet Claire theory is that she meant to use Jim’s plot to get money and freedom for herself).

-Thematic significance. To speak a little more about Ethan/Max and the corruption plot of MI1…you kinda have to start with Jim. Jim occupies a very interesting role as the pseudo-hero of the movie. The ex-James Bond, the ultimate good guy, who is framed kinda as a protagonist figure in his introduction on the plane. Jim has this Christian-patriarchal thematic framework of corruption versus purity that he overlays onto MI1 (I talked about this more in my Ethan hunt corruption rant, so I’m not going to totally get into it here). A lot of that is linked to the Ethan/Jim/Claire tensions, Ethan being Jim’s protege who is more similar to his corrupt wife, both of them having a corrupt feminine skill set of emotional and sexual manipulation. Ethan starts the movie play-acting a masculine figure, then when he strips that mask we see his hidden, corrupt love for Claire—after Jim dies, he succumbs entirely to the corruption that was always inherent within him, by seducing Max. Ironically that corruption, which Jim sees as a fatal weakness, allows Ethan to uncover the truth and defeat him. (drinking game: take a sip every time i use the word corruption when talking about ethan/jim/claire/max.) What does this mean for the Ethan/Max dynamic? To me, it’s about how Ethan sees her. Max is representative of Ethan’s final loss of moral purity by Jim’s rules. Not to mention Max embodies sinfulness by Jim's rules as a powerful and sexually assertive woman. All that is a really significant part of their dynamic. Which brings me to:

-Franchise-long separation/isolation from the narrative. I honestly cannot tell if this is an intentional McQ or TC choice, although the stuff TC said about the alanna kiss (him repeating ‘I own you’ lives rent free in my head forever mr cruise are you ok no of course you’re not) suggests he’s aware of the weight of that plotline to some degree. What is fascinating to me about Ethan’s relationship with Max and the idea/specter of her in MI is that it always happens behind closed doors, without any of Ethan’s loved ones present. The exception being the one scene in DR1, which I need to watch again to fully analyze but if I remember correctly everybody involved in that scene is kinda unanimously going “wtf is going on between these two I have no context.” Examples: well, every Max/Ethan scene, including Ethan’s meeting with that one Max-associated guy in Ghost Protocol, the Alanna/Ethan kiss. (Ilsa witnesses that scene, but Ethan doesn’t know or want her to.) Anyway my point here is: Ethan seems to have this deep desire to keep the Max stuff private. There are multiple explanations for this—Max is a reminder of the worst time in his life, of MI1, which is a carefully-guarded memory anyway. Max (and Alanna by extension) is a powerful and dangerous individual who he doesn’t want his friends involved with. Max is quite simply a bad and complicated memory due to her associations with Jim and Claire, and the complicated/horrifying world of sexual manipulation, sexual violence and sexual trauma that Ethan is inducted into in MI1. But my personal favorite explanation is shame. To my mind, the narrative separation suggests that Ethan is ashamed of his history with Max. This is really interesting! Because the narrative doesn’t shame Ethan for Max. There’s no movie-inherent negative thematic stance on Ethan’s seduction of Max or anyone else, it’s presented as kinda cool and useful from what I can tell. So if Ethan hasn’t internalized shame from the movie’s morality, to my mind that means he’s internalized shame from Jim’s. Which is—not strictly relevant to the question at hand, but deeply fascinating to me in a broader discussion of McQuarrie era Ethan.

Anyway! What’s important for our discussion is that Ethan consistently fights to keep Max and all signs of his connection with her away from even his closest friends and allies. What that represents to my mind is a discomfort around their association, and a system of shame and denial around his past “dealings” (sex) with her. Meanwhile, he is unable to escape the reality of Max and the reality of their history, his history.

OK NOW WE’VE GOT ALL THAT OUT OF THE WAY. I CAN ACTUALLY ANSWER YOUR QUESTION NOW.

I think Ethan takes losses hard. Max’s death would be a blow in that sense, but in some other ways it might even be a comfort? Ethan hasn’t known many people who lived to old age and (presumably) died nonviolently. That’s a fucking feat. It’s a testament to Max’s strength and power. Not only that, but her formidable legacy in the form of Alanna is a feat as well—Max is dead, but she kept her empire alive, and passed her power onto a successor. There’s grief and loss there largely in the sense of, there’s one more person who was present for the Unspeakable Time (MI1) that is no longer alive. Now the only witnesses left are Ethan, Luther and Kittridge. If circumstances were different, I think Ethan being Ethan would figure out a way to pay his respects anonymously. With the way Fallout unfolds, though, it’s too risky to admit that he and Max were ever connected at all, which I think intensifies the lack-of-closure, shoe-on-the-wrong-foot feeling that’s always present to me when Ethan and Alanna interact. To me there’s one more facet—Max is representative of this part of Ethan, this “corrupt” part of Ethan that wants narrative power and seduces people to get it, that he doesn’t allow anybody else to see. And with her death, I would argue that the last person who can understand him is gone.

On a different note—I love the idea of Max being alive in Fallout. Mostly cause Vanessa Redgrave is fucking legendary, and also it would scratch the constant itch of Ethan interacting with other “narrative elders,” other survivors. I love kittridge, but seeing Ethan interact with Max herself would be way better fucking electric. I do think Max being alive would make it very difficult to pull off Alanna’s introduction, though, so I can see why they made the choice to have her die off screen. That said, I would be FASCINATED to see Max and Alanna’s mother-daughter dynamic, especially with the way that Alanna in Fallout acts as a parallel for MI1 Ethan. I want to see some fucked up codependent shit on my screen.

Anyway these are my thoughts such as they are! I am seeing the max parts of MI1 tonight so I might change my mind about some things in which case I’ll post even more.

#mission impossible #ethan x max #max mitsopolis #mi1 #alanna mitsopolis #jim phelps evil polycule #i should make a meta tag but that would require going through all my meta posts and tagging them.#anyway let's just start here #cecil meta

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creacherkeeper · 2 years

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9, 17 (:D), 24, 30, and 31!

9. What's your favorite thing your players do?

really surprise me in a scene. like as a dm i tend to like to be more prepared but sometimes yall come in with these big swings out of nowhere and im always like *surprised pikachu face*

also when yall are like hey i know youre hurting my little guy but what if we hurt them More. fave thing

17. What's your favorite thing your DM does?

while obviously its fun to get away with things i love when both you and your npcs are just Done and are like. no you may not do that actually. truly the murph energy just makes me laugh. in character example being wren just repeating what we say back to us and letting us sit in our own idiocy. its so great

24. If they were the god of anything, what would they be the god of?

i think a combo of like. self-expression, identity, and destiny, but in the vein of like "youre responsible for forging your own path so what are you choosing to do with that" kind of a thing. but valuing Choice over Goodness, for sure

30. What are their thoughts on justice? (highly specific now)

because burnlow is so much a "fuck around and find out" kind of a god i do think max thinks that like. justice should be based less on rules and more on social consequences. like if you steal something the government shouldnt punish you just because theres a law against stealing, but if you steal something and then get your ass beat the next time you try to go in that shop thats fine. like that people should have more say over the repercussions of fucking up, not arbitrary rules by governments with ulterior motives

31. If they were a contestant on Taskmaster, what kind of contestant would they be?

answered!

#thank yoouuuu <333 #maxwell tag

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floral-poisons · 2 years

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ooh i'd totally place you in pomefiore. your writing has a romantic aspect to it. i get the vibes of contemporary with a mary shelley or giacomo leopardi flair to it ??

i'd love to hear about the topics in the arts and the humanities that you're into ! at the moment im graduating high school and likely going to double major in world history as well as literature and then eventually i'll get a law degree.

im an avid reader and writer, but i also delve into art through paintings and sketches. stem ?? idk her bc i cannot with stem-

on the topic of the humanities and arts though , i'd like to point out the 'why the curtains are blue' argument because i personally find it absurd. our english teachers were honestly trying to teach us critical thinking skills as well as opening our eyes to the ideas of symbolism. the argument is just stupid , to be frank.

i like to think that the little bits of symbolism that are claimed to be "unimportant" were subconscious. for example , im writing a drama novel that takes place in tahirid yemen and one of my protagonists furrowed his brows once a mabkhara brushed against his skin in the first chapter. at first i wrote it because he was worried since having the incense burner so close to the table's edge is dangerous, but then i wrote my fourth chapter and accidently gave him more reason to dislike mabkharas.

<3 genie anon <3

honestly it's probably because i go with vibes in my writing. like i'm all about description because my imagination is super vivid and i have super vivid scenes that play out like a movie.

i also don't know stem. we don't talk about her lol. i am a woman in humanities.

YES YES AND YES!! HIT IT RIGHT ON THE NAIL!! ironically enough i actually had a section of my final paper for my victorian literature class about the "why are the curtain blue?" meme. the fact that people look down upon humanities because "we're pulling at threads" is really absurd and it kind of stems from misogyny. humanities is 1. deemed "feminine" and 2. a lot of fears about reading stem from women reading and women becoming passionate about what they're reading. it's also based in capitalism. humanities isn't seen as "successful" and our degrees are seen as "useless" which is the funniest thing ever. in stem, ethics is extremely important so for stem people to disregard humanities as "useless" is super funny.

i personally like symbolism and i think reading into things more is also important for media literacy (which people clearly lack nowadays). symbolism, imo, makes things better (and so does philosophy but i'm apparently one of the rare few that thinks philosophy makes everything better).

i am a literature major actually genie anon! but i am specifically concentrating in cinema studies which means i am studying movies. symbolism in movies is a lot easier to portray than in books honestly which is why i think symbolism improves. i do love what i'm doing so much that i even write critical essays about film in my spare time!! rn though i'm more or less focusing on applications and on making sure i fulfill my undergrad requirements.

#genie anon #anon asks #floral poisons talk

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nicomrade · 8 months

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I don't think my original message was sent (or maybe I'm getting confused, haha). My question is, how do you interpret the gap between chapter 538 and 539? What is your perspective on the ending? And most of all, how do you think Baku is still alive? Some believe that Baku really died and lives symbolically in Souichi (I recommend you read Waty's review of Usogui to better understand this point, you can find it on AniList) and others that he faked his death.

As a personal theory, I think the one who says the words "Welcome back, Madarame Baku" in chapter 537 is not Gonen, but Anoma (in fact, on the last page of that chapter we can see Anoma + Gonen + the welcome phrase, which is curious, since Anoma has no relation to the scene). I think Sako has been misleading us with the timeline, making us think that Abi Khan and Anoma's conversation happens in parallel with Baku's "death", but what if that's in the past? And Anoma (for whatever reason, I still can't tell you why he decided to do that) revives Baku with a defibrillator device like Marco did with Hal and hence his words of "Welcome back, Madarame Baku". Baku returned from a death that seemed final. It should also be added that the phrase he uses refers to Baku in a formal way, but not in a close or hierarchical relationship (he does not call him Leader or Baku-san, for example).

Another good point would be that Sako may have planned from the beginning that Baku would survive, since in chapter 147 (epilogue of the Labyrinth arc) we see a flashforward in which Baku is visiting an awakened Yukiide (he woke up during STL) in spring (hence the cherry trees), so it's been a few months since he became the Leader of Kakerou. So, this scene could take place after Baku's "death", close to leaving for Las Vegas to meet Kaji, Marco and Hal. Also, we never see his right hand (he has it in his pocket) so Sako doesn't show us his missing finger.

i couldnt find the anilist review, if you have a link to it i will hapilly read through!

the ending is very fast paced and (purposefully) doesnt give us a lot of answers, i dont think much about it because im personally not interested in speculating on what happens after/in between the gaps BUT i will try my best to answer everything you brought up!

im not OPPOSED to highly symbolic readings (god knows i love symbolism myself) but i do like the much more literal interpretation better. baku is alive with kaji & marco at the end because he is literally alive, and survived somehow, the same way he "survived somehow" the first STL, because baku always finds a way to live. but also- while i DO think the epilogue is trying to make us think baku dies after gonen pulls out the joker, i dont see how the dialogue actually supports this idea that baku was also betting his life here? gonen is asked to bet his OWN life so hes allowed to join in the gamble and flip the card but i dont see a confirmation that bakus own life is ever in the balance in that particular bet with gonen specifically. it IS the moment where gonen (literally) beats baku and (symbolically) takes his place (as the bigger evil and as the gambler who keeps on winning- also his spot as the one fighting against kakerou and souichi, and bakus "heart", etc.) but to me it at best maybe implies another gamble between them that isnt shown instead? like i dont think the joker was flipped and they shot baku here & there lol (and i highly doubt it was a STL game). theres a whole aftermarth to this we are not shown. what i wanna get to here is just asking, am i the one missing something? where does it say/imply baku is also betting his life VS gonen? i could just be silly & missing something i definitely dont notice everything going on in usogui its very dense lol the only thing i get is the prince bee narration saying he "never got up again"?

i love your theory about anoma being the one talking, like i dont think gonen would welcome baku back ever? not in this context anyway? and again, the epilogue is so vague on purpose there are probably a 100 hints with no pay-off/reveals. misdirections and foreshadowing are usoguis bread and butter and i think its very fitting for the epilogue to give us SO MUCH while actually saying SO LITTLE. it could 100% be anoma talking here i agree, and hinting at some involvement he had that we dont see.

i also love what you said about chapter 147 i didnt catch that (i straight up forgot this happened at all cause i never finished my minotaur labyrinth reread its the arc i like the least for some reason?) thank you for telling me about it, especially the cherry tree that serves as a season indication is 100% true but i wouldnt have caught it myself cause i always forget about this kind of time indication. i wonder if it happens before or after the gonen gamble indeed? this is very interesting to me because i have a whole thing about the parallels between souichi and yukiide (sorry yukiide for only liking you for the role you can fill for me.... i swear i also like him as a character but im always looking at his plot beats in the context of him being a mirror character for souichi)

last thing is ill try to answer this bit: "how do you interpret the gap between chapter 538 and 539? What is your perspective on the ending?" so i think we can think of the gap between 538 and 539 similarly to the gap between, like, the 2001 STL and the start of the story. baku has done this before, he will lay low and hide in the shadows before being ready to put his big plan in motion. in hangman he says he planned to stay in the shadow for longer but seeing souichi face to face he had to change his plans- i think this gap is something similar to this. theres a wrestling poster thats visible in the las vegas shots too, right? i think we can know what year the las vegas stuff happens in that way, and that will give a lot of information on what that gap looked like. i wish i had more of a big analysis about this but filling the gaps in the epilogue has never been my priority. what i DO care about in the epilogue is the uhm heart transplant stuff lol. under the cut cause its my own personal rant where i argue for why a part of the epilogue shouldnt be considered canon (which is a pretty heretical position to defend, im aware)

so uhm, the heart transplant stuff, uh? i kind of have hated that reveal/retcon ever since i read it and its always sat weirdly with me but i didnt think about it much, like blocking it out of my mind, except for during my 2nd read through (and the times id reread the epilogue like some morbid curiosity- maybe this time itll go differently? maybe this time they wont try to lie to me?) not that i think its BAD i like the epilogue as a WHOLE but the heart transplant thing ugh i always just skim over unconsciously i dont wanna engage with it too much because so heres the thing

that line about how its totally real cause "baku shouldve been taking medication quite frequently" and its like. well he HASNT? been doing that? and its drawn super similarly to how baku eats his kariume. are you trying to tell me that his kariume was heart medication all along? what about his obsession with plums in general, and on protoporos when he imports kariume for himself? about protoporos actually- how did a man with a diseased heart who has to take medication survive 24 days on an island with no access to said meds. including a couple days of running outside in the rain chased by a literal angry mob? and then drowning?. baku, as written in the story, DEMONSTRABLY DOES NOT! have a diseased heart. when did this transplant happen???????

baku literally already struggles with sprinting when he first meets hal in 1998- souichi EASILY follows after him and is barely tired when baku is on the floor shaking for his life. are you telling me the heart transplant happened BEFORE this????????? or he already had poor stamina even before and then it cant be appropriate foreshadowing for this. so you were just lying to me about the hints and it really does come out of nowhere. ok.

i dont even mind when/if usogui does retcon stuff (/have reveals that were very much not planned from chapter 1) it is OKAY to write new stuff in your story and about your characters as you go along. it is foolish to try to argue only stuff planned from even before you ever started writing is canon and true. this is not my point. my point is that this reveal CONTRADICTS the actual text that came BEFORE. it has retroactive impact that is nonsensical and downright absurd. this is the exact kind of writing i criticize in stuff like one outs or liar game, but praise usogui in comparison. usogui does lie to you about stuff sometimes, but that misdirection, those lies, ADD meaning to the text. (im always talking about this on twitter i can pull up threads if i need to explain this stuff more) the heart transplant reveal REMOVES meaning. so what meaning does it remove exactly?

one of Usogui's (manga) thesis statements is that to be human is to be FLAWED. this is why hangman ends the way it does (and why its kind of bad they changed it in the movie- though i do get it) its what kyara's arc in protoporos is about, and its what souichis entire character journey shows. i dislike calling souichi "the ultimate human being" because his character arc is about accepting that he ISNT, actually, perfect. that he, too, is flawed and can lose and is scared of dying and is HUMAN. souichi loses drop the handkerchief because he had this weakness (chronic memory loss) that usogui exploited. and for all he tried to make up for it, or make it into a weapon instead, it was still a flaw. and its what made him human. and for him to believe himself capable of not being human anymore, of transcending it, is a lie. and usogui ate that lie. and he reminded souichi that hes human- and loved. and loved. and so so loved. and that he has the potential to become so much greater still- BECAUSE hes human and BECAUSE he tasted defeat and is flawed. thats the basic gist behind drop the handkerchief.

and this weakness of souichi, his chronic memory loss, is inherent to him. theres no reason it happened. textually theres no reason to it. its, yeah, the pressure of having to be Perfect, and being the Leader of kakerou, but we know from the doctor's email that medically they couldnt find a reason for it- yes there are reasons for it, but theyre so inherent to him, to his bloodline, that he couldnt be souichi and NOT have this flaw. there is no version of souichi (or hachina, or hal) that does NOT struggle with memory loss. he has this weakness simply because hes alive.

bakus one core flaw is his weak constitution. baku cant run up stairs (see the abandonned building arc) anything that COULD be life-threatening becomes a death sentence for him (see the minotaur labyrinth arc) he CANNOT defend himself (marco & kyaras roles as bodyguards + all the times someone threatened him with violence) his body is WEAK. it just is. what the heart transplant does is take all of this and make it the result of losing a gamble once, years ago. is this inherent to him? was this always fated to happen? we dont even SEE the gamble this happened in! it CANNOT be this important! but if we forget about the heart transplant for a second, his weak body becomes just a part of his character, with no visible cause. maybe its a side effect of how he grew up on his own without anyone to play with so he never exercised, and possibly malnourished & homeless half of the time. but either way its a cause thats so at the core of who he is that for that not to have happened he wouldnt be usogui (or madarame baku) anymore. there is no version of him who had a happy, safe childhood and is still usogui. sounds familiar? and for souichis weakness to be mental and bakus weakness to be physical.. isnt it meaningful to have their fates mirrored and tied in that way?

baku & souichi(/hal) fates being tied together is also another CORE aspect of usogui's story! not just with the ship glasses on its literally just... the emotional core of the story is their relationship (whether romantic or platonic or whatever). if your reveal in chapter 538 out of 539 (i repeat, its in the second to LAST chapter) is contradicted by its own "foreshadowing", does not stand on its own, and weakens TWO very important aspects of your story, then i think im allowed to consider it not canon or true. uhm, "youre a big liar, arent you?" if you will.

#usogui meta #ask #lkingyoya #you dont have to read the whole tangent about the heart transplant if ure not interested i just need to like #exorcise it out of my brain 😭i think its half of why i dont engage w the epilogue much i really dislike it so much

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madfantasy · 2 years

Text

Dear blogging

t's cold and all I want to do is draw Juicy and his bros cuddle for survival

Hope your doing well my dears. I don't know what I have been doing all this time but just trying my best not to. Just not.

I have this immense guilt in typing any sort of update because, I'll be just repeating myself.. I wish so hard that things change, gets better and stop sucking to a point it feels like I'm disappointing others, in way that I got not much of progress..

I haven't thought of nothing but vagueness and leaving earth. One day dreaming of a bliss between the nightmares, being the very -impossible- thing I wanted, and feeling such disgusting overwhelming happiness I don't think I experienced, tears welling up in my eyes every time I remembered the scene.

I don't know what I truly want and I always figured that i don't really need to know, I don't need to be something specific, or want one thing with all my might, everything can come and go, and thats okay, everything can be hard or easy, I laughed at all my sorrows and drew them and made them into stories I retun to..

I don't know maybe that thick shield of the accusatory insanity wore off, or maybe its called maturing, cuz I can't deal with it anymore, I can't keep fighting over losing the very few things that pleasures me in life.. and the more I do, the more I feel truly closer..

It was prayer time, and during the announcements its favorable that one mute sounds and listen to it and quietly say it alongside. The masque people were praying, but at home most of us finished. I got my game running. Got cussed at, and ofc I replied of how much longer ppl pray u think, my guardians exploded with stream of demeaning and colorful swears, eventually kept praying that I die for saying that line.

I was shaking with anger head to toe, if we kept it religious, u can't just pray for ppl to die, or accuse them of not having faith. I called it out on them, and they kept saying it.. with every prayer of death I answered with Ameen, equally yelling how Im tired of this life

I went to my room and couldn't stop hyperventilating and weeping, my heart felt like it will escape my chest. Suddenly i hear them approaching, they never came into my room. They told my sib who ran to deter them from entering, they were like "I want you to stand witness that I cam here to apologise to your elder sib, and I didn't mean what I said" then they came in anyway and hugged me and kissing my hands and the top of my head, saying sorry. Telling me they never wanted to hurt me and they're nothing without me, that I run this house and without me they are lost, and the reason they lost it because they remembered their job, and wish that they never worked that job because it ruined they look on life

This is the first time that they ever apologised to me, in my whole frkin life. And actually admitted that their job was toxic among many things..

But in that moment nothing mattered. I went to bed that day expecting to leave earth. But I'm thankful I woke up the next day, still convulsing like I was hit by a truck

I don't know how to explain how faith is important to me, as in I'd be long gone without it, and it's something between oneself and God only, and not for people to judge or control how it "should" be. But they weaponize it more than practice it, as the still on going example used against me and my art and how I sm treated, in general..

I didn't get much work for this month, mum suggesting because it's the holiday season, which was a good time to spend it improving my art, but I spent it trying not to sit alone conscious or not escaping through flash backs and the torment of their words on never ending repeat , playing my hp over and over, till I notice the rats there danced, something I have never noticed and made me laugh

I want to do more art, the more I doubt it the more I'm sure it's what my soul aches to do if one day left un-art-ed In. I was even drawing while telling myself I'm not, escaping my notice till sib told me. With it I want to grow, even if hypothetically, with people I imagine how it is to meet one day, and enjoying every moment and not live undead.. one of my vids were, sorta replied to by a human being saying words, I know im making it sounds extremely basic, but my god, I have been isolated from people for so long even pics and vids are super hard for me to look.

Like, I just realised this the first time in centuries I seen a live reaction to my art, I still couldn't look at them directly but the resistance to look away decreased and I lost myself in this person's infectious joy saying how amazed they r by my art.. they don't know that gave me so hope that yes, maybe I can look at people one day, I can be with people one day, I can be okay one day..

I'm still open for commissions, now that my art apps subscriptions near expiry, and I don't want to use ProCreate cuz is icky and ewy and I want my smooth CSP specially after their upcoming update <3

Wish you the coziest safest, thrilling times, and happy holidays and birthdays, if I couldn't make it

All the love;

Mani

2:30 am, 4 Dec 2021, frozen toes

#text #drawing journey #personal

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the-redeemed-anon · 3 years

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Another day another post including c!Wilbur in big bad manipulators list with c!Dream and c!Quackity and i go "huh, is he tho?"

Like genuienly i would want to know, bc to me at least all like c!Wilburs "attempts at manipulation" were like.. blandly obvious and not that well executed?

Not enough to secure him the position of a Big Bad Manipulator Who had an Overarching Big Plan Before This Specific Interaction and Knows What He's Doing.

Bc most ppl who call Wilbur a manipulator point to this quote here

“Tommy, literally have you not noticed? Everyone who’s claiming to be on our side, they’re lying to us! Tubbo?! He’s lying to you man! He would drop us at the second he realises we’re not in the lead anymore!”

But like... this is like clearly c!Wilbur having a paranoid breakdown and unloading all the stress fear and worries that got progressively worse during pogtopia to c!Tommy. c!Tommy def didn't have tools to handle that and like shoudnt be expexted to but its not manipulative?? Of c!Wilbur?? At all??

Like the only two instances that i remember that like can be called manipulative is maybe this??

“It’s nothing, it’s nothing important. I just wanted to say that- I think you can come back from what you’ve said, you know. I’m just saying now, there is a chance that you could be President, you know, you could be- you could definitely get an executive power in the remains of L’Manberg. You could definitely be a leader of that, I have no issue with that. But, you need to understand that you’re gonna have to get on my good side, and I, you know.”

And the recent stone collection thing with c!tommy?

Im asking bc i can be blantly missing something but? I dont think i am?

- Music Anon!

Music Anon, you're back with another interesting topic!

Okay so I may have another perspective than most on the "Then let's be the bad guys" scene because, as I've said before, I have paranoid thoughts, so, for me, it's much much easier to put myself in Wilbur's shoes in that moment.

So, as far as I remember in Pogtopia, I would coin Wilbur's behaviour as persuasive. He was trying to persuade Tommy to his side, something that Tommy was free to ignore and not accept. Manipulation and persuasion are very tricky to tell apart, because it's two things that are very similar, and you can't tell them apart that easily. You know how all squares are rectangles, but not all rectangles are squares? Same thing here. All manipulation is persuasive, but not all persuasion is manipulative. There is a fine line between the two.

I googled it before I wanted to respond to this ask, but from what I gathered, you can tell persuasion from manipulation by these factors: coercion, withholding of truth and intention.

I want to compare Wilbur's case with our most blatant example of manipulation, Dream. Especially since it's centered on the same character, Tommy:

Coercion. The Dictionary defines the term "coercion" as "the use of force to persuade someone to do something that they are unwilling to do". I do not remember any moment in Pogtopia where Tommy was forced to act against what he wanted to do. The way he spoke to Tommy was always open to Tommy rejecting his ideas, which happened quite a lot. It's another thing if later, Tommy, of his own volition, agreed to what Wilbur wanted, like blowing up Manberg at the Festival.

Dream, on the other hand, we see it a lot in Exile. The threats to Tommy's life. The hitting. He was forcing Tommy to stay in Logsted and give up his gear. That's one box ticked for Dream, zero for Wilbur so far.

Withholding of truth. Here I am as stumped as you are. I want someone, who thinks that the "Then let's be the bad guys" scene is manipulative, to tell me where Wilbur is withholding the truth. The President line? this one? [“Tommyinnit, you’re scared that people are gonna think differently of you. Tommy, when I said you’re never gonna be president, you gotta understand, that wasn’t a challenge, that’s true. You’re never gonna be president, Tommy. And I can hear it in your voice, you’re trying sound like you know what you’re doing, so that you can prove me wrong. Tommy, none of us know what we’re doing. We’re fucked, we were fucked the minute we were thrown out.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 19:39)] or these? [“That guy Tubbo? You know? We love Tubbo… but he’s not on our side, is he? Let’s be honest. We act like he is, like, everyone’s always how like, oh it’s crazy how everyone’s against Schlatt.” - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:12:57, 8th Oct)], [“Everyone’s always saying how like, oh it’s crazy how everyone’s against Schlatt. No one’s against Schlatt. Everyone’s pulling the biggest ruse on us. Literally, they’ve got us all by the fucking scruff of our necks.” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 17:59)], [“Tubbo’s like, ‘I’ll be your spy!’. And then we’ve got like Fundy who’s like saying to everyone’s twitch chats that he’s gonna revolt against us. And you’ve got Eret giving us fucking potatoes, that say fucking ‘I’m gonna be friends with you’. It’s bullshit! It’s all bullshit!” - (Wilbur’s video Am I the Villain?: 18:09)] Honestly someone tell me where Wilbur is withholding the truth here. I do not see it. He's just stating his opinion. I am someone who was around in Season 1, I watched Wilbur's POV only and I swear I thought too that Tubbo was a double agent for Manberg. I was sure of it. This is just Wilbur laying out his reasons to be paranoid and things he considers as true and his own opinions on matters. Opinions are not lies or truths. Telling Tommy that he will never be President, in his opinion, isn't a lie or the truth. It's just an opinion.

Meanwhile over in Dream's camp... Dream did withhold the truth. He lied about Tubbo's Compass, he lied about the Invitations, all of this he did to get Tommy to his lowest, to make him think that he is his only friend. This is the second box ticked for Dream, still none for Wilbur.

Intention. Here I need to talk about what paranoia is. Paranoia, to me, is a way of thinking fueled by fear. Wilbur's paranoia started because of the Final Control Room. Eret's betrayal deeply affected him, we can see it in quotes like this: [“Anyone caught in the crossfire is caught in the crossfire. That’s how it goes, you know? Eret especially, he is the most clear, the most clear cut traitor of them all. He was a traitor from the very get go. I have no, I have no remorse offing Eret.�� - (Wilbur’s who are you go away: 1:41:22, 8th Oct)] Wilbur's paranoia started from a betrayal, therefore, Wilbur's paranoia is centered on people backstabbing him. Of course he would start spiraling into a rant about how everyone is out to get him. Especially after believing his own son betrayed him. So, why tell that to Tommy? Simple, really. I personally do it, too: he was reaching out for support. When I have doubt about my train of thought, I go to someone I trust, and they help me by walking me through it, to figure out if my thinking was rational or if it was paranoia. I think this is what he was trying to do with Tommy, because he trusted Tommy, but also it was an attempt of keeping him safe. I have talked before in my Eight analysis that Wilbur is a naturally protective person. I think Wilbur was attempting in part to shield Tommy from another shock from betrayal, attempt which didn't get across to Tommy. Tommy was and is a teenager and even back then he had his own worries. He just didn't have the resources to help Wilbur, or even understand what he was going through, and he can't be blamed, and while the scene may have been scary for him, I do not think Wilbur had malicious intent with it.

Meanwhile, Dream had malicious intent. He did what he did in an attempt to isolate Tommy, to make him feel alone, so he could swoop in and mold him into thinking he was his friend. This ticks off the last box, Dream was manipulating Tommy, while Wilbur was trying to be persuasive.

While I agree that Wilbur is dipping into manipulative territory with the stone bit, I would say that doesn't make him stand in the line-up of manipulators alongside Dream or Quackity. I do agree however that he is a big persuader and his power lies in how he uses words to convince others to agree with him and join him on a cause (as discussed above, this is not necessarily manipulation). I hope this analysis helped out!

As always, the quotes are from @kateis-cakeis' masterlist of Ghostbur/Wilbur quotes. It’s a goldmine of a resource for analyzing Wilbur and I highly encourage you to check it out.

#dream smp #dsmp #wilbur soot #dsmp wilbur #anon q&a #music anon #dream smp analysis #dsmp analysis #dream smp character analysis #dsmp character analysis

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faeriejukyung · 3 years

Text

True Beauty’s Gaping Mother Wound

*disclaimer*: I understand that all the listed traits are things which are often very common in Asian households, and it may seem that rather than being concerning, these are just a part of Asian culture. That is why, I feel that it’s necessary for me to make it clear that I am, in fact, Asian (Indian to be specific), and parental abuse is something that is extremely normalized here. As someone who has experienced it firsthand, I want to say that just because something is common/normal, doesn’t necessarily mean that it is correct. If you or anyone you know is in a situation like that, it’s very very important to speak out. And it’s not your fault, i know it’s easier to believe that way but it’s really not. We deserve to be in a loving environment, regardless of what culture we are born in.

Throughout the drama, Jukyung’s mother shows many traits of an abusive mother. I have been able to outline 4 of them. I don’t mean to write her off as an evil character,, because overall she is well intentioned, and just like any other mom, she does love Jukyung. This is shown in episode 8 too, where she shows remorse for her actions. That however, doesn’t justify her abusive behavioral patterns in any way. Because we can see how badly it affects Jukyung, her self esteem and her overall view of herself.

Act 1: “I’m going to kill you today and go to jail” -- Physical Violence.

Throughout the series, we see Jukyung's mother being very violent. But one scene which particularly stood out to me was the scene where she finds out about Jukyung's dad getting scammed. (in episode 1). While it is true that her dad caused a huge financial loss to the family, and anyone would feel angry in a situation like that, it is also true that there is never a good reason to physically abuse someone.

After hearing the news, Jukyung's mom is overcome by anger. It's completely okay to feel frustrated, but the way she violently jumped at her husband, clearly intentioned to hurt him, and the way she needed to be held back by juyoung and heekyung highlights her abusive nature. And this isn't a one time thing where she momentarily lost control of herself. She constantly shows similar behavioural traits throughout the drama.

In the scene where we see Jukyung's mom and dad together properly for the first time, their relationship dynamic is established. He's meekly massaging her shoulders while she orders him around. Their is an obvious power imbalance in the relationship, and the way Jukyung's dad cowers in fear around Jukyung's mom is a proof of that.

Act 2: "Why would you kill my precious son?" -- Conditional Love.

We see examples of Jukyung’s Mom’s conditional love in the kdrama AND in the webtoon. Conditional love is when a parent or a parental figure makes their child compete for love. They withhold their affection until the kid acts in ways that are desirable to them, and if the kid fails to do so, the parent often punishers them through different methods. This is their way of maintaining control over their children.

Jukyung’s Mom’s conditional love manifests itself in the form of favoritism towards her eldest daughter Heekyung, who’s not only conventionally beautiful but also very smart and has a high paying job, and towards her youngest child and only son, Juyoung, who is also written to be very attractive. Both Juyoung and Heekyung have gifts that Jukyung does not posses -- beauty and brains. The conditions that are established in order to attain their mother’s affection are getting good grades at school, and being conventionally attractive, which is why Jukyung often gets the shorter end of the stick

In the scene where we are first meet Heekyung is the drama, their mom’s affection towards her is very evident.

This is shown in the webtoon too.

She displays this favoritism towards Juyoung too, and even more so. In episode 1 where Jukyung tries makeup for the first time, and gets ridiculed by him for doing a bad job at it, she naturally feels angry and yells at him, “do you want to die?!”, but instead of telling Juyoung to stop, their mother yells at Jukyung for yelling at Juyoung (”why would you kill my precious son? why?”). It’s already very evident that Juyoung has picked up the habit of constantly taunting Jukyung for her face from his mom. In the webtoon, when Jukyung decides that she wants to pursue makeup arts and asks for her mom’s support and fees for academy, her mom flat-out refuses, saying that they don’t have enough money. However as we find out later, money wasn’t the problem, because she had enough money to send Juyoung to a cram school for acting.

I find it hard to believe that any good parent would constantly compare their children and pit them against each other like this. In the webtoon and the kdrama, it is made clear that Juyoung doesn’t have particularly good grades either, but he doesn’t have to face his mother’s wrath by the virtue of being good looking. Jukyung on the other hand, does not have any redeeming qualities.

Act 3: “I’m going to throw all your makeup away” --Excessive Anger.

Another sign of parental abuse is display of excessive anger. It’s usually used as an intimidation tactic to keep the child in line. Sometimes, it can simply happen because they lose control of themselves. Either way, parents who get angry more often than what is supposed to be normal, and hurt their children (physically or verbally) in the midst of their anger, repeatedly, are abusive. I feel like I don’t even need to elaborate on this one. Jukyung’s Mom is angry during half of her scenes. And the way she acts upon that anger crosses the limit too. Don’t get me wrong, it’s important to express your the way you feel, but the way Jukyung’s Mom does it, is extremely unhealthy and hurtful to others around her. Whether she’s jumping on Jukyung’s dad or talking down on Im Jukyung, she’s very inconsiderate of how her anger affects others. She almost always expresses herself in an extremely volatile way.

Jukyung described makeup as a hopeful light opening up a new life for her. There’s even a whole music segment of her discovering the powers of makeup, characterized by pastel and bubblegum tones, and the segment has a magical feel to it. Suffice to say that makeup brought an almost magical kind of hope and optimism to her life. In episode 6, Jukyung's Mom goes to her school to get her report card. When she sees her low grades, she gets so angry that she threatens to throw away her makeup, without once considering why Jukyung is so attached to it. In my eyes, she's actually very similar to Soojin's dad who also uses intimidation and physical violence to keep his daughter in line. If we put the same background music for the scenes where we see Jukyung's Mom threatening her, as the ones where Soojin's dad abuses her, they'd practically be identical. The only difference is that the show often plays Jukyung's Mom's behavior as a joke.

In episode 7, after seeing that Jukyung didn't improve as much as she wanted her to, she actually threw away all her makeup. Even though Jukyung did try, and did improve, it still wasn't enough for her mom. Jukyung's restlessness after not seeing her makeup on her table was palpable through the screen. Finding out that her mother threw all her makeup away sort became her breaking point. We see her yell at her mother and express her feelings for the first time.

I think it's important to note that Jukyung, who's already finds it very tough to reach out to her courageous side, was inspired by this incident to stand up to her mom, to express her outrage. Saying that makeup meant a lot to her is an understatement.

Act 4: "What's the point of looking beautiful with all that makeup on if you're ugly underneath?" -- Verbal Abuse.

We all get into arguments with our parents from time to time, and I’m sure we’ve all been yelled at by them at some point. Verbal abuse however, is not something that is normal, and the two shouldn’t be confused. A parent who constantly humiliates their child, yells and screams at them, talks down on them is in simple terms, an abuser.

In episode 1, when Jukyung tries makeup on for the first time and goes to school, she gets ridiculed by her bullies and her classmates. Crestfallen, she returns back home after school and goes to her mother for reassurance. Instead of providing that, her mother ridicules her even more and calls her makeup “Ghost Makeup”. This is something abusers often do. Under the guise of teasing the victim, they often attack the victim’s self esteem, appearance etc, to make them feel insecure and to maintain their position of power over them. Jukyung’s mother isn’t very different from those bullies who told Jukyung that she was ugly and made her feel like she could never amount to anything.

Another example that irks me a lot is from episode 3, when Jukyung’s Mom is chewing her out for being late, and suddenly the conversation turns to cosmetics and makeup. This is also one of the traits of verbal abuse. Instead of arguments surrounding the basic issue, they branch out and turn into character assassination. Her mom accuses Jukyung of wasting all her time on makeup instead of studying, even when Jukyung clarifies that she got late because she missed her bus, not because she was out buying cosmetics. But her mom doesn't listen and says to her, “What’s the point of looking beautiful with all that makeup on when you’re still ugly underneath?”

Jukyung’s face after hearing her own mother say that was heartbreaking. Unfortunately, this type of mother-daughter relationship dynamic isn’t something that is rare. Mothers frequently project their own insecurities on their daughters and put them down. Jukyung’s Mother’s behavior explains her self esteem issues, it gives an insight about where her insecurities really stem from. Sometimes our abuser’s thoughts and image of us start maligning our own self image. Frequently hearing them tell us that we are worthless, and that no one will ever marry us or love us, makes us believe that we are in fact, worthless and incapable of being loved unless we change something about ourselves. We frequently get an insight into how Jukyung thinks of herself throughout the drama.

“It’s not my fault that I was born dumb” (In episode 7, after finding out that her mother threw away her makeup.)

“You know that I’m messed up” (In episode 2, referring to her face, while asking Lee Suho to keep her bare face a secret)

The drama is yet to end so I don’t want to completely write Jukyung’s Mother off as an abuser. I hope she becomes a better mom in the show, I really do. Because Jukyung deserves a loving mother. And Jukyung's mom does in fact have a few redeeming qualities, however, simply love and caring isn’t enough, you need mutual respect, reassurance and effort in each every relationship. We know that Jukyung’s mother is also often labelled as an ugly woman, and she believes that she could only get by through studying well. (“It’s going to be okay as long as you study well” - episode 1). In a world where a woman either has to a exceptionally beautiful to be considered worthy, or be exceptionally intelligent and professional lest she isn’t blessed by beauty, it’s very easy to internalize self hatred and direct it on to other individuals (especially if those individuals are your children). That is why i genuinely find myself rooting for Jukyung’s mother and hoping for a character development arc -- because i understand where she comes from, and because i can empathize with her.

Fin.

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bookwyrminspiration · 3 years

Note

TW// Drugs n such

you asked for it smh, but I've been thinking a lot about that one scene in Neverseen in Exilliums healing tent (or whatever its called)

I had a whole rant here about what the implication of this 'serum' might mean in the lost cities but it kinda spiraled into nothing so I'm cutting it out. (main point was just the mood towards drugs, Shannon has had previous mentions of both alcohol and drunk people, so (though im not saying she should incorporate this into a middle grade book series a t a l l), Id be curious to see her take on drugs, (if they exist and how they effect people and the elven population // how is it treated? Is it looked down upon or even forbidden (why we might only see it in Exillium territories) or is it so normal and inconsequential that its just part of the norm in the lost cities?

but anyway, back to the thing I was originally thinking of - i feel like this is something rarely talked about but pls tell me I'm not the only one who has picked up on how weird Keefe's relationship with sedatives is. It's such a contrast to Sophie, where she's openly opposed to taking any type of sedative he seems to be really open to them, in fact in Unlocked every time he's knocked out by a sedative his language is pretty much always positive, like he really enjoys it. This probably just ties into something you mentioned a while back about Keefe and dealing with stuff by running away but I find it really interesting.

(Sorry if this is an uncomfortable ask to get, I know not everyone is comfortable with drug talk and I hope this Isn't overstepping a line.)

you're fine, don't worry! no lines overstepped. I appreciate you including the warning at the top, even though I'm alright talking with the subject. if there's something I'm uncomfortable with, that's not on you to know or worry about because I haven't shared any of my specific triggers, and the more anxiety-inducing ones are so specific to my personal experiences that I highly doubt they'll ever have any effect on any conversation ever. but I do genuinely appreciate your concern <33

I don't remember specifically what I asked for, but this is a topic I hadn't even realized was so fascinating, so thank you for bringing it up! That scene is kinda funny (as in weird) looking back on it, but Keefe was completely out of it and being a lot more vulnerable than he probably wanted to be due to his state of mind. I think it was intended to mirror something like anesthesia or laughing gas (note: in my brief research trying to find info about the boobrie dude I made a mental comparison between tam and sandor, so I'm just making note of it here so I don't forget), at least as far as Keefe's reaction goes. I think part of this was strategic so that we could get some information and vulnerability (although unwillingly) from Keefe and get that first glimpse of "the boy beneath all that swagger" (paraphrased from Sophie). But that's not what your ask is about so I'll move on before I get even more distracted.

wine, at the very least, exists in the lost cities. we've got fizzleberry wine, which is blamed by some for Caprise Redek's accident. Aside from that we've seen no mention of it, as this is a middle grade series about a young teen girl in a fantasy world, and in a "perfect" world there isn't a lot of talk about recreational substances. And I agree with you! this isn't to say that I think drugs and alcohol should be this huge thing in keeper or that it even needs to be address, just commenting that the attitude the general public has towards substances and intoxication is likely even more severe in the elven world, as has been the pattern with other things. We can tell from Caprise's incident that their wine functions similar if not identical to ours, as it was said to have impaired her motor control and thinking, hence how she fell off that balcony. So I think we could assume that drugs in the Lost Cities would be similar to those in the Forbidden Cities in function. Not in name though, likely named after some strange elven thing. Though if we go with the wine example, Fizzleberry is likely an exact description of what it is--the wine probably fizzes and is made from berries.

the elves highly value the mind, so I anticipate that anything that messes with it past beneficial medicinal uses prescribed by a physician are frowned upon. they think of your mental capacity and capabilities as integral to who you are, and composure as essential. drugs take that away and can impair your reasoning, hence my conclusion they're not well liked. however, I propose that this mindset is mostly those who are very proper, for example Lord Cassius. Dex was more than ready to take concentration serums of his own making--and convinced Sophie to take one (note: dex has almost killed both Sophie and Fitz. that can't be fun to know)--which directly messed with his limbic center. However, as he was raised in an apothecary and is already a little less in line with all other elvin values, I don't think him being an outlier is enough to completely through out my assumption. overall: looked down upon because it messes with the mind and the mind is crucial to elven society, and the way it impairs your thinking would make you a lesser person

and you're right! keefe's relationship with sedative is weird. we have this teenager who grew up without stable supports or a loving family having very little regard for how substances will effect his body, prioritizing the possible--not guaranteed, possible--benefits over all the risks. this is not to say drug use is inherently bad, just that the situation he's in makes me very cautious because he feels more at risk of falling into bad habits. also, your observation about tying that into him running away is very astute! i've talked a lot about him running away from his problems in more ways that physical, and I think this is an excellent example of that

he doesn't like his reality, the world he lives in when he's awake and aware and lucid. it's full of all these problems and people and he doesn't know what to do. but when he's asleep? he doesn't have to deal with any of that. he doesn't have to do anything, but he's also troubled enough and anxious enough that sleep doesn't always come easy, and he can be plagued by nightmares. but those sedatives mess with his mind and not only make him sleep faster and longer, but they can mess with your dreams and alter the reality you experience while asleep. i guess it could be a way of trying to take control of a situation he had very little control over, especially in unlocked when everyone else was trying to fix things without consulting him. with his waking world that bad, of course he's gonna like anything that takes him away from it.

it stands out especially when we switch to him as a narrator and he's praising these things and wanting to be sedated, as we've spent so long in Sophie's head and she's so against them from the trauma she experienced in the first book. that could mean his attitude them is more jarring just because we're used to Sophie and it wouldn't seem as dramatic if we'd switched from say, Fitz's head. but that doesn't mean there's nothing here.

i think i've said it before, but Keefe doesn't have any healthy coping strategies right now that he consistently relies on. his deference towards avoidance and making the problem go away, even if it's just in feeling induced by drugs, is a more extreme example of how he doesn't know how to just exist without hurting.

I jumped around a bit between topics so if I missed something you wanted to talk about more in depth please feel free to send another ask! Keefe's relationship to experiencing reality is fascinating and covers things from denial and refusal to change all the way to drugs and literally altering the way his brain perceives reality. This boy is on a collision course with destruction in both body and mind.

#i appreciate the warning before the ask!#i'm personally fine with the subject but it's always nice to have it there for people scrolling through my blog or their dash who might not #have the tag or word filtered #as it gives them an opportunity to look away anyways #keefe really just doesn't want to be him #or experience his own life #it started small with pretending he was a vacker when he was little #but now he's literally trying to avoid experiencing reality #which is a lot more severe #oh and there's the whole thing with the solemlethes (however that's spelled) that i didn't even get to #that's what I was thinking of when I was talking about him not caring how things affected his body #because those are known to be dangerous and he still wants to take them for their potential benefits #kotlc #keeper of the lost cities #keefe sencen #kotlc character analysis #tw drugs #long post #tw drug mention #tw substance abuse #nonsie #quil's queries

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