#im just... tired. im so very tired.

[orcelito]

Honestly hate how hard it is to start writing again when you've gone too long without it. Like for fuck's sake man Why's shit gotta be like this

#speculation nation #daydreaming of the early discacc days when i wrote 70k words in 3 weeks. those were the days... #im just... so tired and wrung out and everything is so fucking hard #im barely even Doing anything besides working. my apartment is in horrible shape rn. #what is it about grief that makes life so hard to live man. you lose a cornerstone to your life and suddenly everything is in shambles #and i know he wouldnt have wanted this for me. for me to be Barely functioning bc my brain has been so bad in response #im alive im going to work im feeding myself and showering every day #but i havent been doing the dishes i havent taken out the trash theres Stuff all over my floors and cat messes i havent cleaned #and i dont have the energy for any of it. i get home i eat and then i climb into bed. rinse and repeat. #im just... tired. im so very tired. #i keep wanting to turn to my hobbies to cope with things but it's so fucking hard to stick to #constantly oscillating between manic moods where i think i can finally start moving on (but i dont have the focus to do writing) #and depressive moods where Good Fuckin Luck doing anything besides laying in bed #if you couldnt tell im in the second boat right now. in bed as we speak. and so i shall remain until it's time to go to work #at least ive been going to the woods almost every chance i get. it hasnt given me the power to write but it's been good for me i think #get out of the apartment. experience nature. pick up a snail. you know how it goes. #i kinda feel bad for entering a fandom and trying to dig out a place for myself and Kind Of succeeding #i have a good handful of followers. people who wanna see more of my analysis and fanfic #but i havent posted anything significant in like a month bc i have belonged to the void. all month. #losing family will do that to a person i guess. doesnt stop me from being frustrated though. #negative/

[gooseinsoup]

save me nanny ashtoreth.... save me

saw this dress on instagram and then the worms in my brain took over :D

if anyone has a dress theyd like to suggest to see a femziraphale in... send it thru my askbox or dms cause im on the hunt too :3

#god this colouring is so sloppy but its bc i just had my first day back at school today im so tired i cbf #as soon as i got home i had one of those After School Naps #like the kind that you wake up feeling like you got hit by a bus #and now its 12:30 in the morning and im very much awake #anyways yeah art wont be coming as often unfortunately #good omens #good omens fanart #crowley #ineffable husbands #digital art #nanny ashtoreth

[b4kuch1n]

study of this masterwork

#wayneradiotv #rtvs #sonic the hedgehog #after '''''typesetting'''''''' this thing I almost forgot how to spell hedgehog #the caption is fully unironic btw this is for educational purpose. its very fun to draft a comic from an existing ''thumbnail'' it turns ou #but also I just love comics dude. I just love sequential art its so cool to see how anyone arranges things in their own comic #like. wayne's sprite on top of the ''what!!'' speech bubble. really fucking good #little bit sad I couldnt catch the streams live even tho they did run in my timezone... bc Im bad at sleepin #but! Im gonna try and set an alarm this weekend. wanna hang out for a bit #also yeah all dialogue in this is accurate to the original. no use fixing whats perfect as they say #debated printing this out and scuffing the paper with eraser and then re-scan it. for authenticity. but Im tired and dinner soon so #sorry cosme my friend cosme I couldnt commit. I couldnt do it.... #anyways yeah. I dinner now #have a good day lads! what u see truly is what u get

[thehealingsystem]

It's so wild to me that as a community we're still so hostile to multigender and genderfluid people existing in gay and lesbian spaces.

You...are aware that people who are both men and women are allowed to be gay, right? And lesbian? Their other genders doesn't cancel their connection to womanhood, or manhood, or whatever else they id with. They are allowed to be gay despite their fem-alignment, and they are allowed to be lesbian despite their masc-alignment.

It comes from these weird online spaces that the standard to be gay or lesbian is to be a "non-woman" or a "non-man," which is inherently transmultiphobic and...extremely ahistorical. And completely misunderstands nonbinary identity. So if you're both then you just don't belong anywhere I suppose.

#they treat these people as abnormal when really shoving anyone into categories of non-women and non-men is fucking #completely out of touch with how identity works #like i saw a demiboy lesbian flag and the comments are just FILLED with teenage queers getting so mad for no reason #saying shit like im in your walls or your father left you or whatever #please this is so CHILDISH grow UP #multigender #genderfluid #gay #lesbian #lesboy #turigirl #queer #lgbtq #just a he/they transmasc nonbinary boydyke lesbian VERY tired of this nonsense #actually erasure of multigender experience and that one of our genders will cancel out the other #made me very resistant to the fact that i may still be connected to feminity and girlhood #even though i am undoubtedly am #transmultiphobia

[madootles]

12 year old ed verbally assaulting the librarian

#edward elric #alphonse elric #newsflash they are still super fun to draw #im not super happy with these so maybe i'll fix them up later idk #fma #just imagine 12 y o ed trying to check out 20 books at the library.... someone is getting verbally assaulted by the time he's through #hilarious #I wanted to color these a little but I am very tired so here #cos #pink sketches #fma03 #should I make these black line instead of pink//.... eh #fullmetal alchemist #fan art #sketches #ponytail al #cos al #;)

[nordidia]

having a very rough night so raph doodles needed to be made

when in need, mash two interests together

#i love him so muhc ghghgh #and uh please stop sending me asks straight up demanding me to draw more /nm #if u've sent me an ask just regarding art before pls dont feel anxious this is about people actually DEMANDING like im some sort of machine #im absent due to my work/mental health situation going up and down #tmnt will ofc always be special interest but right now its in the back row #theres little time for anything but work and meetings and thinking about work and.. well.. monster hunter escapism egsfkhjhh.. #but yeah i promise im still here #and i want to draw him when i can #but stress is high right now and drawing takes too much wrist stamina to do often now #i hope u understand #sorry if i worded myself badly im very tired and stresed n its ... oh its 5am great. wellp. goodnight skafklgsjdklfnshh #my art #rise of the tmnt #rottmnt #nordidia art #rise of the teenage mutant ninja turtles #rottmnt raph #id in alt text #also one would think my art style is easy on my wrist but #i gorilla grip my pen and when i learned to write as a child i held the pencil jank #and it stuck like that #so its really rough on my hands #sadly

[creatively-cosmic]

return to your roots. hazbin redesigns. angel dust is under the cut just bc his is less clean

#hazbin hotel critical #hazbin hotel redesign #namess -> #Alan 'Alastair' Staron #Charlotte Dawnbringer #Lucifer Dawnbringer #i dont have a new name for vox hes just. vox rn. so im not tagging #im trying very hard to not maintag this #Angelou Lovart #i could talk more abt this bc its a whole rewrite but immn so tired rn . if ppl are interested just shoot an ask nd ill talk abt it

[vladimpale]

very very late day 3 of zukki week 2023: "wait, we're dating?" @zukki-week

(click for only slightly better quality bc i can't guarantee it will look good if you do)

#i just want you to know that the two women were not intended to be a couple but. it got out of hand and im this close to making them my ocs #also #dont click on the images bc its so messy #i tried my best #i didnt bother with the shading but good thing i tortured myself with the clothes patterns :D #if you can't tell i really love zukki on kyoshi island #im so disappointed with how i drew suki ;) #in conclusion this drawing kicked my ass good #and is my last contribution to the event bc i dont want to embarass myself more #atla #zukki #zuko #suki #sokka #my art #(also im sorry this has no id im very tired)

[tomboyyyaoi]

cutlery

#cutlery is. maybe my fav song ive discovered from proseka its very nice.LOVE the 2dmv #was gnna do miku from it too but im tired n i start a new job tomorrow so maybe later #wish i could draw stuff like this for vamery i think i just need to find time to build up more ideas.. #playin around w the idea of illustrating some scenes from kind..........that may be time consuming tho #but i wanna so bad....... im having post trimax vamery withdrawls..... #anyway this is about kanamafu.... #proseka #project sekai #pjsk #prsk fa #nightcord at 25:00 #25 ji nightcord de #kanamafu #kanade yoisaki #mafuyu asahina #my silly art

[beaulesbian]

im just noticing some similarities

#something something all bark no bite bc they love luffy so much already #zolawlu #lawlu #zolu #zolaw #bc of reasons #mine #one piece #gif:op manga #i just need more for this ridiculous ot3. the 2 swordsmen who would do anything for luffy #2 captains and the first mate/ protector #the chaotic zolu duo and one fondly annoyed guy who gave up on trying to explain logic to them #the three very aro and/or ace coded characters- im taking them and putting them all in a qpr polyship #so they can cuddle and fight and have some good reassuring hugs. but also the devotion ! the fate etc etc good night im tired #rlly bad and weird day here so im just thinking about these instead..

[carnivalcarriondiscarded]

most of you will not understand the agony of this outfit. but hey here's fantasy au Howdy!

rambles:

yes. i know. he looks like a gunslinger. but I think it'd be funny if Howdy shows up and he minorly tweaks the genre simply by Existing! plus, he has to make himself useful beyond being a traveling salesman - he doesn't have a scrap of magic in him! so! alchemist gunslinger!

due to much of this "final" outfit design being Miguel's (@indigopoptart <3 thanks for your help homeslice <3) influence, i have less to say than usual! i'll talk about the things i Kept from the first terrible, terrible draft!

i wanted him to have full-coverage gloves because One, gloves fuck, & Two, shooting gloves! plus, he regularly works with dangerous materials! gotta keep his hands as safe as possible! speaking of his guns, they were a Ton of fun to draw. i wanted to make them ornate... Howdy seems like he'd enjoy nice things? fancy stuff perhaps? anyway the guns have his tavern "logo" on them!

the "second safety" mentioned triggers a magic-oriented mechanism that allows him to piece the guns together! they "unfold" into a big ol clusterfuck of a powerhouse weapon! unfortunately, using this immediately breaks the guns and they have to be repaired, so it's a "break glass in case of emergency" ace up the Neighborhood's sleeve!

i like to imagine that his bandolier, while cool, stresses everyone out a little bit. each bullet is full of pressurized weaponized magic. If they break while on the bandolier, well! Howdy would probably be very much Royally Fucked! i also drew the bullets too large here, so imagine that there's a lot more than shown and they're a lot smaller. I didn't realize this mistake until right now! oopsies!

i want to keep elements of the canon outfits in these fantasy ones. hence why his vest is striped and blue, he's still got the reddish brown pants, and! why his cloak clasp is shaped like a tie! and why the inside of his cloak resembles his apron!

i like to think that Howdy got his magic pack by swindling some poor soul out of it! when the buckles are undone, it unfolds into a vendor stand that looks Much different than the tiny scribble provided! said scribble is there to ah... what's the word. Demonstrate? get the point across? it's actually quite a nice stall! he has space to sell, and a workbench to tinker on! the pockets on the bag actually do function as pockets, though.

#'why does he have a ponytail' yeah i dont have an excuse for that one #im projecting my mullet & mullet-esque hairstyle loving self i suppose! #he's just like me now.... #< nah im jesting! my back floof isnt nearly that long! #anyway howdy my absolute beloved <3 #hes so funny. i love thinking about him #in general but also this is an au post! thinking about That! #i love it when he comes along on adventures #everyone is having downtime and he's on the side of the road handling volatile materials and bothering passersby #its a good thing he's coordinated! probably! #he's coordinated right? ehhhh i have faith that he is #scribble salad #wh fantasy au #ohhhh i should draw him with his hood up... #OHHHH I SHOULD DRAW A LIL FANTASY AU RAINY DAY THING #< i say this as if i have the energy! #its been low lately... very low... #i love being tired and drained for literally no reason!

[vanyafresita]

after seeing this post by the artist afkeii on instagram, i got inspired to write a poem... and then i drew something to make it into a zine...

the way i feel about romantic love is... complicated... but i've known i'm on the aromantic spectrum for over a year now ! yippiee !

if you'd like to have a physical copy, feel free to [download the print version here] , and check [how to put it together / make a 8-page zine here]

#zine #personal zine #art #aromantic #aromantic spectrum #my art #id in alt text #that was very... interesting to write and draw about #dont ask me how i feel about romantic love its too tiring to explain #(<- thats a lie- do ask me about it as much as you want i have so many thoughts on it. probs more questions than answers tbf tho) #also yeah the black ring on my middle finger and right hand is bcs im asexual too #but ive known im ace since i was 13 so i dont have nothing poetic to say about it cuz its been just a normal thing for me for so long lol #aight its getting late and i need to go sleep byeeee

[transmascissues]

i love you testosterone i love you voice cracks i love you bass notes i love you loud laugh i love you fuzzy mustache i love you whispy patchy beard i love you bushy eyebrows i love you hairy stomach i love you knuckle and hand hair i love you boy smell i love you bottom growth i love you new orgasms i love you big nose i love you square jaw i love you squishy stomach i love you thighs that touch i love you stretch marks i love you acne i love you acne scars i love you body heat i love you appetite i love you mood stability i love you balanced hormone cycle i love you puberty awkwardness i love you uncertainty i love you adjustment i love you transformation i love you change i love you maturation i love you growth i love you freedom i love you euphoria i love you comfort i love you familiarity i love you recognition i love you second chances i love you masculinization i love you embodied manhood i love you testosterone

#in case anyone needed a reminder that testosterone is magic and no one gets to talk shit about it around me #and to be clear all of these are very specific to my personal experience being on t #these are all things that t either gave me or increased/exaggerated in me #just my own personal love letter to the last 10 months #i was going to make a more typical post for this account #but i was scrolling through some tags i use to find posts on here #and so many of the posts were people shitting on us not people who care about us #every time i go into those tags there seems to be more and more negativity toward us from people who dont want us to talk about our lives #i was even looking in positivity tags and finding assholes #and im tired of thinking about negative things now so instead you get this #transmasc positivity #trans man positivity #testosterone positivity

[lav3nder-bees]

happy february to them and absolutely nobody else

#fairy tail #fairy tail fraxus #fraxus #fairy tail laxus #fairy tail freed #laxus dreyar #freed justine #fairy tail fanart #i am SO embarrassed to post this #freya if youre reading this look away #only sketches bc im super burnt out #i WANTED to add mira to this but only remembered halfway through #this was also meant to be for valentines day but took me longer than expected #can you tell when i got tired lmao #also that sleeping one.. i just KNOW freed's hair gets everywhere #realistically he probably has to plait it otherwise he wakes up w a rats nest #<- from someone who used to have very long hair #i love my cringe gay fanart #raijin tribe art may be coming bc the tism is getting to me #uuughhh im so embarrassed gonna go kms now

[lunarharp]

What led to this (orufrey comic, cw an uncomfortable/creepy scene)

#witch hat tag #orufrey #er.... i'm too tired to have anything to say..i worked several days on this. #wait.. didn't i say just recently here that i probably wouldn't ever depict 'what if alaira is qifrey's sort-of ex'. What's going on #i don't even remember deciding to draw this..it's all a blur..i'm not sure why i WOULD decide to draw delicate scenes in my head #that i wouldn't really want to share with anyone/discuss so why did i draw it... #some part of me really really wants to draw things that are more and more true to myself... #maybe because of my alienation with most romance/shipping/dynamics the rest of the world depicts. #orufrey really is perfectly suited to me - what i read in the text and what is in my head. well anyway #i am TIRED of drawing poses and angles and..maybe now i will actually take a break from drawing bc of the tediousness of Angles #btw it really is a 'stretch of time' . . . assuming witches graduate age 18-20 #well orufrey are canonically 30-ish. they've only had agott around for presumably about TWO years (?) bc she took the test age 10 #and it feels like oru moving in/unknown atelier acquisition/building (?) .. i guess that could be a year or so before agott at most #(she was the first disciple) so... ????????? What about the other 7 or so years ?!?!?!!?!?! Unemployed Brimhat Hatred era #that time is very nebulous. after qifrey went to the tower i feel like it's been implied he and oru drifted apart a little. #certainly they didn't live together at first... no way. that doesn't feel like how it is based on things oru has said about becoming Eye #idk. I'm tired now. i don't usually think of alaira as necessarily qifrey's ex and this being how things went in that 'sliver of time'. #i usually prefer the idea that they have their first kiss with each other in their 30s cause That's Just The Orufrey Lifestyle #just felt like making a more relatable alternative view of my own Cai Orufrey Canon one time. btw im a big monoshipper and it hurt a bit #let's leave it there. this is surely the most i've worked on a 'single' art - though now i realise just how much longer the fic took :')

[ftmwarewolves]

So what's up with the hatred for binary trans men within the queer community? Even within the trans masculine community as a whole, what is with the cruelty?

Why is it that when a trans femme spoke to me about other trans men in her life, she turned around and used "thats so binary" as an insult towards them, as if she wasn't talking to a binary trans person. Not that it's the worst thing in the world, but it raises questions. At least to me.

What is with that? Why is it wrong for binary trans men to be men? It's not wrong for trans mascs to be masc, so what is the deal with being a man? Does it still really just boil down to simply being a man?

Do you internally think we are "gender traitors" still?

Bc that's what it seems like to me. You can be whatever you are, as long as it isn't a binary trans man.

#transandrophobia #of course this extends to a lot a lot of trans mascs too but my focus is trans men rn #just want to know i guess if any other binary trans men feel this way too #and no this is not a post for you to harbor hate or tmed shit fuck outta here im gonna bite ur throat out #im very very tired so this might sound weird